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fruitoftheweek · 3 years ago

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Little Cherry Book:

Chapter 5: Matching Memories

Chapter 1 Here / Chapter 2 Here / Chapter 3 Here / Chapter 4

Hey guys! Again sorry for the wait! Both my computer and my work schedule have been ass and every time I thought I was going to have free time, I absolutely did not. I was really looking forward to writing this chapter after all the appreciation I got from the last chapter and I am so excited to enduldge you with this 7,356 word chapter. I am also working on a fluffier oneshot that should come out in the next couple days which I am so excited to write! I hope you guys really like this chapter! Love you guys and thank you for 120 Followers!

Pairing: Spencer Reid X reader

Chapter Plot: After the previous nights' escapades, you and Spencer decide to talk about boundaries as your team questions your budding relationship

Series TW: 18+, smut, degradation, piercing, choking, knife play, mommy/daddy kinks, spanking, exhibitionism, Will update as time goes on

Chapter TW: smut, mommy kink, having body piercings, choking, slapping, Oral Sex (male and female receiving), Handjob, fingering, pleading, spanking, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, aftercare, language, non-intentional self-harm (hard to explain), PDA, degradation, smut smut smut.

Word Count: 7,356

Spencer loved to match everything but his socks. You found that out the morning after your late-night escapades. You weren't sure if your alarm hadn't gone off or if you two had just slept through it but you two were running late and the plane was leaving in 40 minutes with a 30-minute drive to the airport. The actual thing that had woken you up was Morgan banging on the door, notifying you that he had dropped off Spencers go-bag.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" he shouted as he bumped his elbow on the table, hurriedly trying to get his socks on. You peeked around the door frame of the bathroom, checking on him to make sure he was ok as you shoved your toiletries into your bag. You watched, curiously as he stopped what he was doing and purposefully banged his other elbow on the same table. You made a mental note to ask him about it later, but right now, you had to go.

Along the way, you had noticed small habits that Spencer had to keep himself "matching." Once you saw it once, you couldn't help noticing it. How he brushed his teeth the same number of times on each side of his mouth. How he had to eat at least two peanuts at a time so that he could match the chewing on either side of his mouth. These were all harmless, but you worried when he bumped his right temple on the window of the cab as it went over a pothole, and you watched as he proceeded to turn his head and bump the other side. Most of the morning had been held in comfortable silence as you reveled in the afterglow of the previous night. So when you silently reached up to his head and brought it down to your shoulder, Spencer didn't mind. You made sure to gently rub his temple to apply even pressure to make sure his sides matched, a caring gesture that did not go unnoticed.

Luckily you two had made it to the jet on time, only catching a couple of questioning glances from Morgan and Elle as you rushed on, red-faced. You hurriedly sat next to each other as the plane took off, Spencer shoving both of your go-bags in the upper compartment as you held his book. He had brought Graziella, and had already read it 4 times; you, unfortunately, had brought nothing as it was your first trial case. He sat down, and you handed him his book, his fingers tentatively brushed yours in a silent question. Neither of you had fully discussed your relationship this morning in the rush and you could tell he was nervous to talk to you about it. As he pulled away, you captured his wrist before he could go too far, gently drawing a small heart into the inside of his wrist with your finger as you looked up into his eyes. He smiled slightly, understanding that you would talk about it when you had reached home.

This small gesture hadn't gone unnoticed as Morgan watched you from the other side of the jet. He stocked his way up to you with a shark grin on his lips as he smelled blood in the water. "So, You two woke up late huh? How come you never made it back to our room last night, pretty boy?" He mused, enjoying the light pink tinge resting on Spencer's cheeks. "You were the one who took both of our room keys and wouldn't let me in! And- and she was nice enough to let me sleep in her room even though it was a one-person room." He retorted, knowing Morgan's implications. "Woah, chill, Reid. I was just asking some questions." Morgan replied, feigning innocence. "Yeah, I took Reid's virginity last night. How could you tell?" You stated matter of factly, earning a shocked squeak from Reid, and spluttered out laughter from Morgan. "That's what you want to hear right? C'mon Spencer, he’s just giving us a hard time because he wasn't invited to our movie marathon last night." You lied, shooting a joking wink to Spencer, hoping he would get the drift and go along with the story. "Hey, we didn't- yEAh he wouldn't get the nuance of 'Une Femme est Une Femme' and the directorial skills of Jean-Luc Godard." He said, catching on when you pinched the soft spot under his ribs. Morgan just rolled his eyes, frustrated at not getting what he wanted before sulking back to his seat.

You smiled up at Spencer before saying, "Good boy," just loud enough for only the two of you to hear. It was the first time you had alluded to your escapades that yestereve and you both felt a breath of fresh air as the slight tension was lifted off of your backs. Spencer was flustered in multiple ways; he loved the way you praised him, and he now believed you felt regrets about your exchange.

He felt electricity crackling in every gentle secret touch of yours that he had the luxury of experiencing that day; all he could think about was how you had touched him and how your skin felt on his. You had him wrapped all-around your finger, and he couldn't be happier. All he wanted to do was service you and please you, even in non-sexual ways, which he was happy to indulge in as he watched you staring out the window. Your fingers were discreetly tracing small drawings on his knee cap as you watched the clouds pass by. The motion caused him a great distraction from his book, and all he could do was watch your finger. Even though you weren't paying any attention to the motion of your fingers, Spencer could still envision the lines you created carving into his skin. Sometimes a little face, sometimes an abstract geometric rhombus, and his favorite, a heart with puffy humps and a pointy end. Every time you drew it, he became hyper-aware of the gentle flush coloring your cheeks as you looked out the window, sending him a secret message.

He quietly cleared his throat, as to not disturb the others; most of which had chosen to indulge in a little extra sleep to make up for their early morning. It had broken you from your entranced gaze out the window and you looked over at him smiling. "D-Did you bring anything to do on the plane?" Spencer asked as you continued your drawings on his leg. "Surprisingly, that was the one thing I forgot. I was so worried about making sure I was well briefed on the case that I forgot all about the flight." You said, smiling sleepily. He couldn't help but think about how beautiful you were at that moment. The gentle sunrise behind you in the window illuminated the apples of your cheeks and the highlights in your hair, which was still messy from sleeping so soon after your shower. Your eyes were puffy except for the sockets, which were slightly sunken in from lack of sleep, and you were fresh-faced, small blemishes now in the open, but all Spencer could think was that you reminded him of the fresh air of spring in the morning after a storm. He shook himself from his trance as you began to turn back towards the window. "You know, if you would like, I can read to you." He said shyly. "I know you read faster in your head, don't feel like you have to read to me because I was silly and forgot to bring a book." You said, smiling at his gesture. "N-No, I want to read to you. My mom always used to read out loud to me when I was little when she would wake up early." He said, adding waveringly, "And... and I would like to read to you, not because you didn't bring anything, but because I think you would like this book." You smiled up at him, lifting the fingers you had been swirling on his leg to your lips before gently kissing them, pressing them to his cheekbone, and returning them to their reserved spot on his leg. He took that as a green light to read aloud.

You watched as he closed the page he had been reading to flip to the beginning. You knew he remembered what page he was on but his choice to start you from the beginning melted your heart. He really wanted you to appreciate this story so you were going to give 110% of your attention to the words flowing out of his mouth.

"Ok, this book is Graziella by Alphonse de Lamartine. I arrived at Naples on the first of April. A few days later, I was joined by a young man of about my own age, to whom I had attached myself at college with the friendship of a brother." He began as you listened intently, enjoying the gentle atmosphere created by the soft hum of the jet and snores of your colleagues. Spencer continued reading aloud to you on autopilot as he focused on the drawings of your fingers, now all turned to hearts.

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The problem with taking a morning jet home was that you would have to go straight to the office to finish your paperwork before finally being able to rest in your own bed. You all trudged out of the car and into the office in varying states of awakeness, dreading the hours of work to come.

"Welcome back, you guys!" Garcia said, miscalculating the tone in the room, earning her a couple nods and grunts in response.

"Hey, I'm going to my friend's apartment tonight, and she lives by you. Since you take the train home and I'm going that way, do you want a ride?" You said to Spencer, trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible. For a Genius and a Profiler, he sure was bad at picking up clues and hints. You weren't really going to see your friend, you just wanted some alone time with him to straighten things out, but he obviously didn't understand. "I mean if it's on the way, that would be nice. Thank you Y/L- Agent Y/L/N." He said, nearly forgetting to call you Agent in front of the others. You smiled and headed back to your seat begrudgingly, seeing the mountains of paperwork.

It was kind of sweet how oblivious he was. You were trying to be discreet at work, and you could tell he was trying too. Keyword: trying, as he was failing miserably. You could tell he was trying to be sneaky, but there was nothing sneaky about him following you to the coffee machine every time you needed a refill. He told you it was because he wanted to match and you couldn't help but indulge him. He wanted to match coffee, unfortunately finding out that you did not, in fact, like as much sugar in your coffee as him. You settled for a little bit too sweet and him not enough for the sake of matching. He came to your desk, trying to trick you by asking to borrow a pen, even though you could see his usual green pen in his shirtfront pocket. He was just so cute and just so obvious so you caved, but it was only because you wanted to see the beam on his face knowing there was yet another way you two could match. His boldest move yet was to match sweaters. If you had yours on, he had his on; when you took yours off, he would follow suit. Even though it was very cute, he was being far too bold so after a while, you decided to just keep it on.

Finally, after hours of handwriting reports and witness statements, your cramped hand said a thank you as you signed off your last sheet. You stretched languidly, looking over to Spencer's desk. He had been done for a while but was pretending to be busy so he could wait for you without subliminally pressuring you to hurry. You pulled your go bag and satchel together, getting ready to leave as you watched Spencer hold his bag, waiting for you to make the first move. You clicked your tongue at him as if you were calling a cat, "Let's get going, I don't want to be late to see my friend!" You called over to him as he shot up, padding quickly to catch up to you. "Goodnight guys! Sleep well!" You called to Morgan, Elle, and Garcia, the only ones left in the bullpen. "Ok, now something definitely has to be going on," Elle said as they watched you two leave, Spencer tripping over himself as he got in the elevator behind you.

You two shoved your bags in the back seat and got in the car. As you turned the car, your music started blaring out of the speakers. "Woah! Sorry! I like to drive with the windows down so my music is usually pretty loud." You said as you slammed on the pause button. Spencer was startled but he didn’t mind as he'd just learned new things about you. 1. You like loud music 2. You like the windows down when you drive. 3. You have great taste in music. "That's ok. Just make sure you turn down the volume sometimes, 17% of adults aged 20–69 years have suffered permanent damage to their hearing from noise-induced hearing loss. And that was... certainly loud enough to cause some noise-induced loss. Make sure to take care of yourself." He said and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. His naive sweetness and caring nature had been gnawing at you all day. All you had wanted to do while you were trying to focus on work was kiss him.

You leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Even though you came in slow, you surprised him. Here you were in the Quantico parking lot, boldly kissing him when any of your coworkers could have seen. "Why-why did you do that?" he asked as you pulled away. "I can't?" you asked, pouting slightly, teasing him. "N-No, You can you can, we're just so out in the open, and we haven't talked about anything, so I didn't know how you felt, and you were ignoring me all day." He rushed out as you let out a little laugh at him. "Let's drive, cutie." You said, turning your music back on, this time to a lower volume, as you pulled out of the parking lot and down the street. "First of all sweetness, I wasn't ignoring you all day, I didn't want Morgan to tease you again. You were busy with paperwork and I knew you didn't need him being an asshole to you to make it worse. Second, did you see all the paperwork they had left? There was no way any of them would have been out in the parking lot yet." You said as you smoothly merged onto the highway towards your house.

You were wondering when he was going to notice that he was going in the opposite direction of his house but he was too wrapped up in his thoughts. You glanced over at him before returning your eyes to the road. You cursed yourself for not having an eidetic memory because you would have kept a snapshot of him like that in your mind forever. His hair, once slicked back, now slightly disheveled from running his hands through it as he did his paperwork and the wind from your open windows. The cool summer wind that rosied his cheeks and the tip of his nose as he gazed out the streetlights overhead. Blue, red, green, purple yellow, white; the blinking lights of the city married the sunset hues that danced across his face. Illuminating his beautifully arched nose and his prominent cheekbones, it felt as if the sun was setting just for him and the city was awakening his beauty.

You smiled to yourself as you switched the cd in the cd player for one of your classics. "Hey! You listen to these guys?! You know I was going to see them last year but then we had this case out of town and I had to miss it. That was when they were still playing at that bar by the Speedway that burnt down." Spencer said excitedly. "Really!? You like them too? I haven't seen them yet but I've been listening to them since college. I never had that much money to be spending on tickets for shows beyond small house shows. I can't believe you like them, I always thought you were more of a Debussy or Chopin person." You replied, excited to have something to share. "Yeah I mean I like pretty much every genre but I've been really into their old stuff lately and, surprisingly, also french 70s music." He said matter-of-factly.

Contrarily, he was fibbing. He knew exactly why he had been listening to it. The previous night he had dreamed of the two of you off the shore, in the south of France in spring, reading books across from each other, legs tangled together, on a chez lounge. Jacqueline Taieb played on the radio as you pulled him up to dance. He removed the thoughts from his mind as he realized his predicament. He didn't know if he was allowed to think about you like that. You had been so sweet and caring towards him last night, and you kissed him so sweetly, but he was still unsure of where you stood. He was still lost in thought as you pulled up to your apartment and parked.

"Hey, this isn't my apartment. Is this your friend's place?" He asked, surprised. "No, Sweetheart. I didn't want Morgan to bother us as we were leaving so I made up some excuse. And this is my apartment. If you want to talk about what happened last night, you can come in. Well, I guess you can come in if you don't want to either, but that's beside the point. If you don't want to talk about it or if you just want me to take you home, I can do that right now. It's up to you baby." You said, gently taking his hand in yours. "I-I want to talk about it." He said shyly. "Alright then, my partner in crime. I will welcome you into my abode. We can order some dinner and talk about it. I'm thinking curry, what about you?" you said.

You could sense his nervousness and tried to lighten the mood even though deep down you were pissing yourself. You had never really done this either. You had a couple of one-night stands and short-term relationships, but nothing that lasted that long, and something in you wanted this time to be different. The young doctor was so endearing, and he was the first person who seemed to be interested in making you happy in the relationship, unlike most of your past suitors. You were terrified that you would push him too far or something would change, and that's why it was so important you had a talk and had trust and communication. You held his hand all the way up the stairs and to your apartment, not letting go when you went to open your door. You told yourself it was to make him feel better but you knew it was because you needed to do something with your hands to get them to stop shaking.

"Sorry, it's not the cleanest space ever. I wasn't expecting guests" you said as you began to tidy up random things around the room, mostly mason jars full of water or a stray empty mug. Spencer took note of his surroundings, drinking everything in. He couldn’t remember what he assumed your apartment would look like because as soon as he entered, he couldn't imagine you living anywhere else. It was all the parts of you that he knew and all of the parts he had yet to learn. He knew that you loved reading, so the bookshelves made sense. He knew that you loved music, so the cd player with piles of CDs next to it made sense. He knew you loved movies, so the VHS player and tv with a built-in DVD player and even more stacks of media made sense. But his favorite part was the giant easel positioned by the window with a large canvas on it. "Wow, Y/N! You paint?" he asked as you continued to clean up. "Oh, don't mind that! Sorry I didn't have time to put it away before we left! I'll get it out of your way!" You said, already carrying a basket full of god knows what in your arms. "No, No! Please leave it out. It's beautiful." He said, looking at your brush strokes. "Suit yourself. Let me know if it gets in your way," you said, finishing your cleaning by fluffing the pillows on your couch.

You finished bustling around your apartment and sat down on your couch across from the TV. He slowly made his way over to you, sitting at the opposite end from you, still unsure of your boundaries. You could spot his nerves from a mile away, so you swung your legs up onto the couch and poked him in his side with your feet. "Why are you sitting so far away, Sweety," you said as he looked over at you. You looked just as you did in his dream, soft and comfy in slouchy clothes. He hadn't noticed that you had changed into some comfy pajama pants and a loose pajama top, and now he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that you changed at some point when he was in the room. He knew it was silly. He had already seen you naked, but it all felt like a dream." I'll call and order, and you think about what you want to eat and what you want from me for a bit, ok? I know this great place a couple blocks from here." You said as you pulled out your landline, and dialed the number that you had scrawled on a notepad on your coffee table.

Then, Spencer saw the notepads, notebooks, sticky notes, and other odds and ends that you had all over the house. One on the fridge, one by the easel, one on the tv stand, two on the coffee table. They were all decorated differently for each task, of which he could see two, one titled 'Yummy restaurants' and the other titled 'movies to watch.' He tried to stop his distracting thoughts of how comfortably he fit in your space and how every item embodied you perfectly, all in different ways. When he was finally able to focus, he felt you start absentmindedly kneading your feet on his thigh that was closest to you. He could barely look over at you, finding you unbelievably erotic. He sucked in a breath as your pajama shirt was only buttoned up so much, enticingly drawing his eyes to the swell of your breast that he could see above the collar of your shirt.

You hooked your foot up under his thighs and brought his legs up onto the couch as you continued to order. You tangled your legs together, lifting your right foot to his chest, gently tapping out a rhythm absentmindedly as you talked. You broke through Spencer's entrancement, asking "What do you want to eat?" "Um... Whatever you're getting." He responded, as he still hadn't even begun to look at the menu. "Yeah! Then for the second order, can I get the same thing but make it mild." You said, poking your tongue out at him teasingly before finishing your order.

You two walked to pick up your food, talking about nothing in particular. You didn't want to talk about the elephant in the room until you got back, so you filled the space with meaningless conversation that instantly stopped as you entered the house. It was silent as you got forks ready, spying Spencer sitting rigidly straight on the couch, waiting for you.

"You know, you were so bold in the office today that I didn't expect you to be this shy when we got here. We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to, sweet-" "I do, I really do." He said, cutting you off. "Ok! That's great. Well, I'm going to start off by saying that any relationship like this, whatever you want that to be, depends on strong trust and communication. That goes beyond the bedroom. Being on the team I trust you with my life. I know I'm new so I understand if you don't trust me yet but I just wanted to set that baseline with you. I'm going to be 1000% truthful with you and I'm going to start by saying this. I don't regret anything that we did last night. I loved what we did last night and I really like doing this with you. I want to explore with you if you would be so gracious as to let me. I find you very interesting, and I would like to be friends or more depending on what you want as we continue our rendezvous." You said as you grasped his hands, willing him to look into your eyes. He let out a sigh of relief. "I really liked what we did yesterday too. I was kind of worried that you regretted it or something. I'm really really new to everything, but I feel comfortable exploring if it's you. You made me feel really safe last night and I appreciate that a lot. I find you really beautiful and sexy and intriguing and I would like to be friends and maybe more with you now. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this... but I want to." He said, gaining some confidence. "You are allowed to say whatever you want, baby. That's why we have open communication. Everything is to make sure you are feeling as good and safe as possible," you said, rubbing his hand. " You should feel safe and good too. I know you are more experienced than me, but you deserve to be safe too." He said gently before continuing. "I was wondering if... if I could request that this be monogamous. I get really upset thinking about you with someone else." He said, and you could feel the shaking in his hands as he anticipated your reply. "Of course, sweetheart. I was hoping you would ask. Maybe I'm a little selfish, but I don't like to share my things. They're mine for a reason." You said before planting a gentle kiss on his cheek, earning a smile from him. "But I think, for now, I would like to be friends and see how it goes from there while we... explore," Spencer said. You nod and smile in agreement.

"Alright, so Spencer, tell me what you're interested in, sexually. What do you think about when you jerk off? What did you think about when you read my book?" You asked nonchalantly, as you picked up your curry and rice, taking a bite as if you'd just asked him about the weather. "w-well, I think about a lot of things." He sputtered out. "Just give me a little list I can work off." You said in between bites. "Um, I like seeing you naked. I like it when we match because it feels like we have a deep connection. I like h-how you touched me yesterday. I want you to touch me more." He said shyly, hiding his face behind his cup of water. "And the other two questions?" You prodded, watching as the bulge grew in his pants. "Um, what do I think of when I jerk off? Oh my god, I can't believe I'm saying this," He blushed before continuing. "I think about how it would feel to have your mouth wrapped around my cock. I think about you calling me a naughty boy. I think about you praising me. I think about your book and how there's so much more that I have to read. I think about you not wearing panties at work. And I think even more about pulling you into the storage closet, lifting up your skirt, and fucking you while everyone is working. I think about your piercings, and I think about your piercing chapter."

"What did you think of that chapter by the way? You ran off to the bathroom pretty quick. What were you thinking of doing to me, naughty boy?" you said, setting your food down on the table, leaning towards him, hands planted on his thighs. "Tell the truth, I can sniff out a liar from a mile away," You said, squeezing into his thighs. He bucked up towards you, searching for friction in any way he could." f-fuck. I read the chapter when I was touching myself. I thought about how you had pointed at my boner, and I thought about how I wanted you to make fun of me, and smack me, and punish me for being naughty." he said hurriedly, hoping his answer would satiate you. "Nuh-uh! Come on, tell me the whole truth," you said and smacked his thigh. He yelped as your hand came down, leaving him with a dull sting. "Ok! But it's embarrassing so don't laugh... I thought about you cockwarming me while I pierced your tongue, and how you would drool, and how you would squeeze around me. I thought about how I wanted to mark you and make you mine." He said, covering his eyes, hiding from his shame and how it made his cock stir in his pants. "You naughty, naughty boy, Spencer Reid. I thought you were innocent but here you are with your hand on your cock, at work, thinking about my pussy and my tongue and my spit, and it made you cum. What a rascal!" you said, watching for a reaction in his pants.

You pried his arm from his eyes, so he was forced to look at your smirk. His face and neck were a deep pink, and his lips were as pillowy and soft as a rose petal from biting his them. You couldn't help yourself as you pounced on him. You knew this was supposed to be just a talk about boundaries, but there was an undeniable electricity in the air that had been lingering from the moment you had woken up. He looked so fucked out, even though you hadn’t touched him yet and part of you wanted to absolutely ruin him that night. "Remember your colors, baby. What are you feeling?" You said, now perched in his lap. "Green, green. P-Please touch me." As he said it, you ground down on him. While you were in your comfortable clothes, he was still in his tight corduroys and button-down, sweater long gone somewhere else in the apartment. "Have you ever heard of something called edging?" You asked, and he nodded excitedly. "What about overstimulation?" You said, and he nodded quickly again. "What do you think about them?" He nodded, and you smacked him, not as hard as you would usually go, but enough to leave a sting. "Use your words, naughty boy." You said, capturing his jaw and tilting his face up to meet yours. "Yes, please. I'm so green. I have been wanting you to do this, please." He shot out through squished cheeks, looking at you with the most hungry eyes you have ever seen. His warm hazel eyes, now shiny and black with desire.

You got up off of him, and he whined, missing the warmth of your body on his. You grabbed him by the back of his neck like he was a naughty kitten, and pulled him down the hall and into your bedroom. Before he could take in your room, you pushed him back on the bed. "Strip." You commanded, and your scent overwhelmed him. Your daily aroma that intoxicated him was ten times weaker than the pure pheromones that blanketed your room. Spencer mused that your room must have been built to have sex in. Your bedside tables were adorned with candles, incense, your daily jewelry, and a pair of your panties. You had a red canopy on your four-poster bed that draped your room in a soft red glow.

Your figure was obscured by the canopy as you moved some items around your room. Spencer was lost in your scent, the idea of finally being in your room, and possibly a little lost staring at the panties on your table, making him move too slow for your liking. You parted the fabric and crawled up the bed to him. "Spencer Walter Reid, if you don't strip now, you're going to get a spanking. You have been such a naughty boy today. I thought you were going to be a good boy for mommy but I guess you want to get punished." You said as you slinked back off the bed. "I'm going to count down from 10 and if you aren't naked by the time I reach 0, you are getting spanked. Understood?" You said, and he squeaked out and "Understood!" "10... " Who knew it took so long to unbutton a dress shirt? "9... " Now, his hands were stuck in his sleeves. "8..." Shirt off. "7..." Is his belt broken, or is he shaking too much? "6..." Belt undone but not off. "5..." Pants, ok. "4..." Fuck, his shoes are stuck on. "3... 2... 1... 0. STOP NOW"

You parted the curtain, smirking down at him. "I think I said naked, not underwear on." You said, looking down at him. "You didn't give me enough time!" He whined but you were already flipping him onto your lap with his ass perched in the air. "Color?" You asked, earning his eager response of "Green, so green." You pulled his underwear off and hung it on the corner of your side table, right next to your own panties. The sight was oddly domestic, making him even harder as he tried to rut into your leg. Your hand came down hard on his ass and he bucked into you moaning in shock. "You naughty boy, pathetically rubbing on me. Does my thigh feel good baby?" you asked, and he nodded. Your hand came down hard on his other cheek "How many times do I have to tell you? Use. Your. Words." Punctuating your last three words with three more smacks to his ass, gently rubbing the red skin as he cried out. "Yes, mommy! Your thigh feels so good! Thank you so much!" he said as he ground himself down on you pitifully. "Why is mommy punishing you, sweetheart?" you said, sweetening your tone. " Because I didn't get dressed?" He asked. "Hm, if you were really sorry, you would know what you were sorry for. What are you being punished for? One more chance." You said, smoothing over the plains of his ass. "For being a naughty boy who doesn't listen and rubs his cock on mommy too much." He said. "So close, baby!" You said as you brought down one last smack to his ass as his cock leaked precum all over your legs. "You were getting punished because you don't listen and because you were being really naughty at work, sweetheart. But you took punishment so well, so you deserve a treat." You said as you flipped him over, making sure he was laying in a comfortable place on the bed.

"C-can we match?" He said, pulling on your sweater. You smiled down at him sweetly as you stripped, taking your time to let him gaze over the planes of your body. When you returned, you sat high up on his stomach, making sure he couldn't get any friction against you as you kissed him softly. He was still a little clunky when it came to kissing but when you took it slow, it helped him warm up to your motions until you two were completely in sync.

"Alright, so I'm going to do some new things. Let me know at any time if you aren't comfortable or you want me to stop." You said, and you turned so you were sitting on his chest, looking down at his cock, as he got a wonderful view of your ass and the dimples in your back as your muscles flexed. You collected some spit in your mouth and let it drip down slowly onto the head of his already overly excited cock. He hissed as your finger swirled in the spit that pooled at the base of his cock as you wet your hand before grasping his length. Even though he had felt this exact same thing yesterday, he could never get over the sensation of your hand squeezing around him, circling his cock, and playing with the tip with your thumb. You spit into your other hand and wrapped both hands around his length, working them up and down his shaft, gently twisting and squeezing. The best part was that he couldn’t see anything you were doing. It was like he was blindfolded, stomach muscles tensing in anticipation of your touch.

"Fuck baby I'm close." And that was when you stopped. right as he was about to cum, you squeezed down hard at the base of his cock. "You don't cum until I do." You said, scooting your core back so that it was a couple tantalizing inches away from his face. "Really? You'll let me eat you out? For real?" He asked, mind blown at the idea of eating you out. "I was hoping you would." You replied, waiting for him to make a decision. He hooked your arms around your thighs and pulled you into him so hard, you were worried he broke his nose at first. 'I need a man who eats pussy like it's the only way to quench his thirst' rung out in his head. That's what you had written in your journal titled "Male needs" and he wanted to be a Male that you needed, so that's what he did. He flattened his tongue as he licked a long stripe up your folds, and back down to your clit, latching on hungrily, alternating between sucking hard and twirling his tongue on it. "H-Holy shit Spencer." You moaned, and you knew you wouldn't last long. Even though you wouldn’t admit it, you were soaking wet just from teasing and punishing him. That, coupled with how sweet his tongue was on your core, and you were done for. You certainly had never had a man eat you out like this, much less a virgin. "Shit baby, you're so good? How did you get so good?" You asked incredulously, as he reached his hand back around and inserted a finger between your folds, giving his mouth a short break. "I read the literature and from what I saw, the g spot should be about here." He said before curling his fingers inside of you, brushing against the sensitive bundle of nerves, causing you to moan deeply. His smirking mouth found its way back to your clit as he added another finger, working your g spot with feverish strokes.

"Fuck, baby! I'm cumming!" You shouted and right as you were reaching your peak, he stopped everything. "What the fuck are you doing!?" You yelped at him, your mounting peak now decrescendoing before ever hitting the climax. "I thought we were matching. You're edging me, I'm edging you." He said innocently, but you could hear his smirk tinging his words. "You just want to be punished huh?" You said and squeezed down on his base as you kissed the tip of his cock. "Naughty boys don't get proper head. When you make me cum, then I'll actually suck your cock. Got it?" You asked as he bucked his hips"Yes." He replied fervently.

This was his first-ever experience getting head, so of course, you were going to give him a good time. He would just have to wait. You held down at the base of his aching cock as you lazily sucked and licked the head. Not even close to the usual effort you would put in, but it was enough to make his legs shake and finger you faster. His mouth was too busy panting and whining to eat you out but you were fine with that because the way he was curling his fingers was creating a knot in your stomach and you could feel your impending release. "Fuck baby I'm cumming. Let me cum this time." You said and he reattached his mouth to your clit, sucking hard as he used all of his willpower to keep himself from cumming. And just like that, you're cumming all down his face and fingers as you shake but he keeps going, this time with more enthusiasm, riding you through your orgasm and overstimulating you. You eagerly take him into your mouth all the way, sucking hard, lathering his length with your spit, and in two seconds he is cumming hard down your throat. "Mommy I'm cumming" He said a little too late as you had already swallowed around him.

You were both so caught in the afterglow that you just kept going. Aftershock spurts of cum kept shooting down your throat but you kept sucking. You wanted him needy and wrecked under you. "Oh my god! ah! AH!" He said, shaking as you keep sucking him down. He keeps finger fucking you as if he is possessed. You are both riding your highs and are so overstimulated that in no more than a minute you are both cumming all over again as sobs wrack your bodies.

You flop down next to Spencer and kiss his cheek tentatively, knowing most men don't kiss after head. Spencer leans up, kissing you passionately, tangling his tongue in yours, tasting your release on each other's tongues. "Flip over baby," You said as he rolled over. You pulled out your lotion from your bedside table, gently warming up a small amount in your hands before spreading it on his butt. "I don't know about you, but I'm way too tired to take a shower tonight. I'm just going to put our leftovers in the fridge and brush my teeth. I have some spare toothbrushes if you would like to borrow one, and some pajamas." You said to a very sleepy Spencer. He didn’t even say anything, he just grumbled and got up, leaning on you.

He helped you clean up, both still naked, enjoying the domesticity of just walking around completely vulnerable together. You needed to brush his teeth for him as he sat on the toilet lid and you couldn’t help but think he looked like a little baby, barely clinging to the little energy it had before a nap. You got him up and back in bed, looking down at his naked form, now noticing the gentle matching bruises on either side of his body. “I know you like to match but take care of yourself. Don’t bang yourself up so much. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You said as you picked his clothes off of the floor. You reached down for your pajamas but before you could get them back on or pull him into his, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down on top of him."I’ll try to stop. Only for you, and only because you asked so nicely. Right now, I’m too sleepy, let's sleep naked. Night night." He mumbled into the crook of your neck. Warmth enveloped your body at his words, “only for you.” Somehow that was all it took to finally give in to sleep's welcoming grasp, reveling in the warmth shared between your skin.

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Chapter 1 Here / Chapter 2 Here / Chapter 3 Here / Chapter 4

And there we go, that's chapter five! Make sure to give me any comments, criticisms, or ways to better the plot. I hope you guys liked this chapter. I tried to balance out the sweet and spicy aspects of this one. I hope you guys have a great night!

Tag List: @spencer-reids-slut @ya-triedit @reidstoychest @flipperpenguins @thatsonezesty13 @jbbarnes-loki @big-galaxy-chaos @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @spencersmagic @uhuhuh @living-for-romance @aharvey979 @xoxo-jnh-xoxo @marrymespencerrei @crypticcorvidinacottage , @ladydragoneye , @stjoaninthewildwest

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #sub spencer #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #sub!spencer #pervspence #pervespencer #perve spencer reid #perv spencer reid

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ronearoundblindly · 2 years ago

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TW: for discussion of Su*c*dal Ideation and SI/SH so feel free to delete this if you don't wanna read, I won't be mad I promise: *takes gigantic breath like the seagull in the meme* Okay. So, after reading Part 10 of Dignity of His Choice, I couldn't let go of the bit in part 9 where Bucky tells Steve that Tony told him that Keeps had a knife and Steve kind of sinks to the floor in despair checking Keeps for injuries. Now, we the audience, hear Bucky tell Steve that "There was an incident" but Keeps doesn't hear that. She does however hear Steve ask her about trying to hurt herself, and she's confused and is like, "I wasn't, I wanted cake". I don't know that Keeps the character would think about it like this, but since reading Part 10 I haven't been able to let go of the thought that if I were to put myself in Keeps' shoes...at some point post-Ramon, I'd realize that if I had tried to hurt or kill myself (which is a thought I would absolutely and seriously entertain in Keeps' shoes and I would personally argue that Keeps' does hurt herself, and if Bruce or somebody doesn't whack Steve over the head with her lack of eating and over exercising I will be disappointed in the Team) my nightmare would have been over faster. Like, I would put together why Bucky brought me to the place Steve was hiding and at some point I'd be like "So if I had tried to kill myself, then Steve would have come back" and I think that would make me regret the time I wasted trying to put myself back together because it would occur to me that giving into the pain would have actually been a way to actively participate in solving my problem. Since I was kept in the dark, and had any other agency stolen from me... Which is a horrifying, sickening thought that I can't seem to get out of my head. It feels like I should have a way to tie that up for you, but I don't, I just felt the need to point out a plot thread my brain has decided to latch onto. Regardless of whether or not this becomes at all relevant going forward, it simply makes your story that much richer and layered. I am so impressed at the way in which you are expressing Keeps' reaction to learning about Steve faking his death; how and why it happened, the obvious nuance to her thought process, and how you're expressing it all, is phenomenal. Never mind, Steve and everyone else's thoughts and behavior...I know I said it already, and I know I will keep saying it- I am so glad I stumbled upon your work. You are such a fantastic writer, and reading these is really, truly a joy. Thank you!

Ok, this is really interesting because I agree. If I were Keeps, hell-fuck-yeah I would have considered *mumbles the words,*

HOWEVER,

I have actively tried to picture about ten different types of women (ages, body shapes, ethnicities, heights, etc.) repeatedly while writing Fools Rush In. So Keeps is not me. Not even close. I've added what backstory I think moves along her character and what makes for an interesting dynamic with Steve. Additionally, I'm a snobby bitch, so I've tried to include a lot of things I never see in other fics, at least not frequently. Adds a bit more realism for me, but I digress.

I'm a little...unwilling to project that idea outright onto Keeps. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to do a dissection of SI/SH thoughts and how they'd impact a relationship with any two people, but that day is not today. The idea/layer is there, and it's not meant as a throwaway plot device but won't be delved into much...probably...maybe.

It's not in Dignity as a scene because it would be a POV other than Steve or Keeps, but there is 100% miscommunication going on between Tony to Bucky to Steve about who thinks she was going to do what. In my mind, Bucky returns from a long mission, and if Tony so much as off-handedly mentions "a scare where Spangler had a knife," Bucky might just knee-jerk react by ending the charade. He wouldn't take that chance no matter what Steve said. He's been heaving red onto his ledger just to get Steve home, so fuck that, Keeps better be alive, too.

That brings us to the oof complicated part (which wouldn't be clear via what's in the fic so far since we never saw Tony talk to Bucky). No one except Nat and Bucky knows about Steve, so if both are on mission, crossing off that list of names, no one at the compound is really gonna know to tell them about Keeps if she tried anything. Maybe and only maybe would an attempt have actually led to knowing Steve was alive early. It would depend on other circumstances.

but yes, I feel you. I see what you're saying. I'm right there with ya.

#ro answers #long-winded though she may be #fools rush in #i've really dug myself too deep on this one #thank you for reading

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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Hey Clyde! I'm not sure if you've been asked this before but why do you think the writers chose to have Cinder... cry? One one hand, I thought that scene was supposed to be a breaking point but on the other (and looking at the following episodes), did she cry to guilt Watts into helping her? I was already a little confused with that choice before but now I'm even more so.

Hey there, anon!

Yeah, it’s a messy scene, more because of what happens after it than because of the scene itself. No, I personally don’t think this was a calculated move to get Watts to help her. We could delve into whether Cinder is currently the kind of character to pull off a manipulation like that — I’d say not — but the main takeaway is that she doesn’t need to do that. Watts is ready and willing to get back to work, together.

Well, the others may or may not be dead, but Salem will definitely be back and until she returns we need to figure out what to do. Cinder has no motivation for convincing Watts to work with her because Watts is already willing. It’s only when she starts suggesting more idiotic, ill-thought out “plans” that he tells her precisely why she’s failed in the past, but even post-death threat he doesn’t express any reluctance about working with her. Watts doesn’t say a thing between getting dropped back on the roof and Cinder shedding that tear.

We admittedly do get some kind of emotion from Watts after he’s brought back onto the roof, but I read that more as a, “Holy shit I nearly died” reaction and not a “Oh no I’ve hurt Cinder’s feelings” one. If he was at all moved by her crying, he doesn’t show it. Watts doesn’t care. He said what he said and he stands by it.

Rather, I lean more towards that first reading: “I thought that scene was supposed to be a breaking point.” Other critics were right to point out that Watts’ general accusations of her never having a plan/working with others are ridiculous — we watched whole seasons of Cinder weaving intricate (by RWBY’s standards) plans with the White Fang and Roman — but he’s right that she’s a mess now. Between throwing herself at Raven and then throwing herself at Penny, her “plan” of “Just be more powerful and win” is garbage. It’s not enough to be strong, you have to be smart too, and for the first time since Volume 3, Cinder seems to get that. This is also the volume where we get her backstory, a flashback to a time when she was powerless, and if we’re seeing those memories now, it stands to reason it’s because Cinder is thinking about them now. That was her past and, wouldn’t you know, it looks a lot like her present. She’s tortured by Salem, failing to seize the power she wants, and now Watts lays it all out in one neat, vicious package. He’s right. I’m a failure. Cue collapsing on the roof and having that dam break a bit in the form of a single tear.

I, personally, was really intrigued by this development, simply because Cinder lacks development. The concept of her re-acquiring the patience and intellect she had in earlier volumes after regressing was a good one. Here’s a woman who craves power, finally achieved some (Amber’s Maiden powers), and in doing so expected everything else in her life to fall into place. When it didn’t — when she was still losing fights and remained under Salem’s thumb — she devolved into an impatient, crazed villain, creating a cycle where she was bound to continue losing so long as she acted this way. Watts’ accusations finally snap her out of that, with the added bonus of this “friendship is power” theme. RWBY strongly pushes that only those who work together can hope to succeed (Salem wants to divide, the Ace Ops supposedly couldn’t work as a team well enough to beat Team RWBY, etc.) and now here was Cinder re-learning how to rely on her allies. No more trying to shake Emerald when she wants to help attack Penny, no more ignoring Watts’ “we need a plan” to run off after the powers on her own, Cinder is finally ready to play smart again and that’s achieved largely though having a team she can also rely on, just like she did back in Volumes 1-3. That time when she won. If Team RWBY wins because they support and love one another, what’s going to happen if the villains start, well, not loving one another, but becoming evil friends? Why, they should become quite the force to reckoned with! And that’s presumably what we saw in Atlas’ HQs: Neo, Cinder, and Watts enjoying being evil together. They’re trading compliments, Neo is skipping through dead bodies... the villains that work together win together.

The problem is... absolutely nothing comes of this. Cinder doesn’t actually get smarter, everyone else just gets dumber. This entire plan hinges on snagging the Relic and the Relic, in turn, hinges on Neo. Does Cinder do anything to trick or convince Neo that she’s truly reliable this time? No, Neo just goes stupid and hands over the Relic. Again. So Jinn gives Cinder all the information she needs and after things actually go well via teamwork — Cinder distracts Team RWBY while Neo sneaks up — she destroys that advantage by kicking Neo off the edge and burning Watts. Cinder’s success doesn’t even last a whole episode. Sure, she gets away with the Relics, but what she actually wanted, the Maiden power, is lost to her because it ended up being a 3v1 battle. If only Neo was around to fight Weiss while Cinder went after Penny! Funny how you self-sabotaged yourself. Again.

This scene, like so much in RWBY, is fine on its own, but falls apart as the story progresses. Cinder’s revelation didn’t actually change her character, so fans are right to ask, “What was the point?” Well, the answer is that the point was lost, what the scene set up was quickly dropped, but the other way to approach this is to assume there must be a different point to the scene. Enter the “Cinder is sympathetic” reading. I’m not going to deny that this exists regardless of what else we might take away from the moment — it’s hard to have any villain cry on screen and not question how much we’re supposed to feel for them. That’s something I’ve criticized regarding Raven — but some fans have come to the conclusion that this is the scene’s only purpose. Which, when the story drops the other purpose, makes a certain amount of sense. This volume we watched Hazel suddenly sacrifice himself for the boy he was torturing, Emerald get buddy with the girl she was just trying to murder, and Ironwood go full, evil spotlight villain. Volume 8 made HUGE missteps when it came to flipping the moral divide, with the villains suddenly meant to be friends and the friends (including the Ace Ops) meant to be villains. It’s understandable that fans would wonder if Cinder is meant to be a part of that flip. Did you include her crying solely to try and convince me she’s not that bad? At least, not as bad as the evil Ironwood? And many fans are, rightly, upset about this attempt to pull on their heartstrings. Regardless of what else that scene might have been attempting to do — whether this really was setup for Cinder’s development that the show failed to follow through on — we can’t ignore the inherent problems in spending this much time (crying + backstory) making an unambiguous villain look all woobie, while simultaneously avoiding that work in the previously morally gray/heroic characters. Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t have sympathetic villains, that you shouldn’t introduce that nuance, but rather that RWBY is developing an awful habit of putting that work towards the wrong characters. Everything in a story is interconnected, so it’s frustrating to watch Cinder cry and go, “Wait, am I supposed to feel bad for her when she is, essentially, crying over her failure to kill the heroes?” while simultaneously watching a show that, when a former hero was maimed, betrayed, and facing an impossible decision went, “Nah. You shouldn’t feel bad for this asshole at all. He’s evil.” Which is it, RWBY? Why am I encouraged to feel for the Definitely Bad characters, but discouraged from feeling for the Morally Ambiguous ones? There’s a disconnect here which encourages fans to approach the scene with a less than charitable eye. Cinder’s scene appears to be doing at least two different things, both as a means of developing her character, but between what happens later in the volume and how other characters are handled in comparison to her, both attempts fall flat.

#rwby #mymetas #Anonymous

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mithliya · 3 years ago

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Re: "i think straight ppl seem to face attraction very differently from gay ppl based on the stuff u mention 🤔 i wonder why" My theory, as a straight woman, is that people are not repulsed by their own bodies, which makes same sex attraction more vibrant than opposite sex attraction. Also I am a bit of an essentialist lol and I'm unsure, when learning about sexual inequality in the animal kingdom, if hetero pair-bonding is a good idea for human women. Maybe straight sex is meant for reproduction only, which is why the clitoris is above the vagina and the prostate is stimulated through the anal cavity.

I am truly sorry if sending this to a lesbian will cause more problems for you among the hetfems. One I had to unfollow asked last night, ""There is nothing inherently oppressive about engaging with the opposite sex. Are other female mammals oppressed for acting naturally? No? Then perhaps it is not fucking intrinsic." But that's objectively not true, when you look at animals as disparate as ducks, cats, and koalas, among others, and there's a specific term for this: sexual conflict. She interpreted my comments as meaning being female means oppression is innate. I just meant reproduction is a biologically hostile act to the female. It doesn't mean our subordination is guaranteed. Female ducks evolved a corkscrew vagina to avoid penetration! We aren't biologically helpless! And those who don't have physical defenses have social ones, communities run by older females who kick males out of their group after a certain age.

This is controversial because so many feminists spend their energies on wanting men to treat them better as romantic partners. W grow up with the patriarchal propaganda romantic love is the most important part of our short existence. But I spent a long time helping women try to improve their lives and relationships and deconstruct patriarchal female heterosexuality and discuss raising standards and recognizing and shutting down at red flags and unlearning the aspects of our socialization that support toxic relationships, but it's impractical because men are either like this naturally or by choice and won't evolve, so the toxicity never goes away and women end up in a compromised position. Males are a parasite. They give only to get, if they ever stop taking in the first place. They take years off our lives. I got fed up. I am not responsible for making men better. I am responsible for liberating myself and helping other women. I can't do that if all my energy goes to men and how to deal with men and making excuses for the one(s) I love.

Does any of this make sense to you? I see how the certifiable hetfems compare themselves to lesbians and pout why lesbians get to love each other and they have to give up love for ideological purity, when nobody asked for purity, we showed evidence doesn't lie and women who are single do better than women who are with men, and they don't have to give up on love if they invite more people into their lives than men. I bet that gets old. Because lesbians aren't more likely to die at the hands of intimate partners. Because patriarchy opposes two women together but patriarchy allows men to either choose to or naturally exploit the woman who gets with them. It's apples and oranges, and I need to apologize for how lesbians are blamed when straight women like me disagree with straight women who defend their husbands and sons no matter what, then reduce this nuanced and constructive analysis down to "they think I'm a cockworshipper, they're misogynists" when...nobody's said that.

i had the same theory with the same-bodies thing tho im not that convinced on it. if people will appreciate the bodies of their same-sex partners, i can’t make evolutionary sense of why opposite sex partners are often the opposite and will be unimpressed and sometimes even repulsed by the opposite sex’s body. so it still feels like there’s smth about this we’re missing. im not sure 🤔

with the other stuff, yeah i noticed the most vocal separatists are almost completely bi & het women and yet the anti-separatists can’t keep lesbians out of their mouths. there’s like 5 vocal lesbian separatists on here? and yet every time separatists say anything, anti-separatists come in to say a bunch of lesbophobic shit as a Gotcha when they’re not getting anyone. i saw ppl claim im a separatist and oppose a bunch of shit that i hardly even commented on, simply bc im a lesbian n for some reason they keep imagining every lesbian on here doing this

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norgestan · 4 years ago

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SPOILERS!!!!! // i actually despise the route they've taken, i really do. if they really wanted dani and amira, and if they were endgame, i actually wouldn't have minded - i would've sighed a little bit sure, but i'd be ok.... but what they're doing with kassim... i'm just ... wow. disappointed and frustrated is a huge understatement. if they wanted representation it would've been great, but making that representation someone who could've been a really amazing love interest for amira? smfh.

uhhh i tried to put a “read more” but it’s not working???

yeah like i really like how the show has handled the first steps on the damira relationship, where there’s a lot of communication and you can see that they’re both negotiating. my biggest complaint is still that dani is a white man taking the spot on what originally was the place of a muslim man of color. and in that sense, i won’t give eskam a pass. while skamit pretended that they “ethnic-looking” white non-muslim female actress was a hijabi teenager of color, and that’s something i don’t think eskam would do, eskam is the second remake that has taken away one of the spots of that couple with two people of color, so they go to a white actor/actress.

but i agree with you: the worst this has got to be the kasim subplot. i DESPITE it with all my being for the following reasons:

perpetuates the notion that all muslim people are homophobic, something that they show has fought before in cris’ season and in the video lucas filmed with amira.

actually, let me go back to that video. because i feel like the eskam writers didn’t look at that video when they were writing this bullshit. both amira and lucas make points about how homophobia is not inherent to islam, that one can be gay and muslim because it depends on how people interpret their religion and how they feel their faith, etc etc. but then kasim spews out the same bullshit amira was fighting in the first place: that lucas, who lives in a christian environment, will have the support of his friends and people around him, but because kasim is muslim he’s deeply scared and doesn’t want to come out. it’s not because lucas is white while kasim is a brown man, it’s not because kasim has had particular experiences with his sexuality outside his religion. no. it’s because lucas is christian and kasim is muslim. and of course christian people are waaay more open minded than muslim people, right? that’s how LITTLE NUANCE was put in the whole thing. the entire story is written like any youtube comment under a clip of las labass, saying that they will punch cris for being bisexual and other islamophobic bullshit.

this kinda shits on the entire religious subplot of og s3. in og, isak’s mother insistence with showering his son with the word of God(tm) was what held him back from coming out to her and part of his internalized homophobia. the season also made points how what isak believed in, aka the evolution, could also lead into homophobic rationalizations of the presence of gay people in the story of humanity, while sana made sure to tell isak (and the audience) that hatred came from fear, not from religion. isak suffered because he was in a white and christian environment, where people were either disgusted by him (his parents at first), completely okay with outing him because “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” (emma, vilde at some extent, bunch of other people who spread the rumors in school), casually calling him slurs (magnus), fetishizing him and even (the dance girls, the skam fandom), and then people who were supportive of him (admittedly, not all of these things were called out in the show, but people got the point with the first two groups). the only muslim character in the show had absolutely no problem with isak being gay, and supported isak and even’s relationship: sana even got mad when she thought the balloon squad hit isak bc he was gay, when they actually hit him because he fought them first out of jealousy - and back then it was the white girls who insulted sana in the bathroom and who theorized that the balloon squad were homophobic. so, like, absolutely all of that is gone here. and in the last dani/amira clip, dani says how his parents aren’t actually “good christians” (hmmm the christian cult survivor in me absolutely loathes that term) because they’re intolerant and homophobic, but the fact that it’s kasim, the muslim gay guy, who says he’s in a bad environment, means that the show wants us to believe and empathize with him, right? UGH. very progressive of you eskam. i’ve never seen this before.

let me expand real quick on that last point. so far it’s only been amira, a straight muslim girl, who has told us that homophobia is not inherent in muslim spaces. HOWEVER, we have an actual muslim gay character say to out faces that he feels oppressed and that his circles will never understand him the way lucas’ christian circles understand and accept him. and because he’s the gay muslim guy, we’re supposed to believe he’s right over amira, who has never experienced being lgbtq+ and muslim. WOW. I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT.

yet again other western stereotype of a gay guy nonchalantly asking amira to play as his beard. WOW. WOWOWOWOW. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK. but what i hate the most about this is that amira is clearly SO disgusted by this, the narrative wants us to be on her side and demonize the closeted muslim guy of color for this. all while we were supposed to take dani’s al qaeda joke as a funny thing that amira adds to the list of why dani is the funniest guy she knows and why she likes him. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

moreover, i hate this entire conversation: because amira has had two people come out to her. cris and kasim. and when cris, white christian cris, told her she liked a girl, amira was immediately okay with all of that. but when kasim tells amira that he likes a dude, amira’s reaction it’s just SO baffling: she accuses him of FOOLING and LYING to his family and the people around him. but she never once questioned why cris hadn’t told anybody this yet, much less call her a liar for not coming out to everybody. what the fuck is this!!!!!!! not only this is yet another way that the show demonizes kasim, but it’s purposefully writing amira ooc to do so. wow. i absolutely hate it. i don’t think i have said that yet?

and to close this huuuuge rant off lmao, i just really dislike that everything about kasim’s sexuality is misery porn: begging for the white guy he likes (loves?) to understand him and be with him, the pressure of being the only man on his family, the pressure of his sister trying to find him a good muslim girlfriend, how oh so homophobic muslim people around him are... even if at the end the show ends up saying (again) that coming out as a muslim is Not That Bad, all of this is just, immediately gonna make white/non-muslim people look at this and think: “yep yep yep, muslim people are sooooo intolerant, not like Me, raised in a good Christian environment, where we’re Open Minded not like those arabs”. and i already hate all of that, no matter what the resolution is. this is SO catering of western audiences only. terrible writing choice and i won’t let eskam get out of this one. even if they found a way to say the right stuff at the end, what they’ve done for now it’s enough for me to step away from the remake. but i’ll be here to criticize it when the entire episode is out, you bet.

#skam españa spoilers #answered #skam españa #anti eskam #wow #never thought i'd use that tag before

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aquilamage · 4 years ago

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i'm a little bit curious as to how aai2-4 plays out in the badd au

>:3 oh yes Forgotten is a big big dramatic thing for this au (not that it isn’t in canon but you know). Right now most of the major plot elements follow canon, it’s more about the nuances of them and the emotions focused on and some extra scenes.

First of all, let’s lay some groundwork. The basic premise of this au is that Badd doesn’t end up in jail after the end of aai so he’s around to affect aai2 (and also has met/interacted with Sebastian pre-games), and that Kay and Sebastian were friends as kids but haven’t been in contact since she moved away post-Reminiscence.

and then the rest under cut for length and spoilers

Pre-Forgotten stuff that’s important for context: Kay realizes who Sebastian is but he hasn’t figured it out yet despite her trying a bit to talk with him. Badd has been interacting with Kay and Sebastian and knows about the game events from them but neither kid knows he’s been around the other because they’ve never all been in the same room at the same time. Sebastian is obviously attaching himself to Badd because an adult who treats him nice?!?!? and meanwhile Badd is grudgingly fond of this kid and wants to help him but knowing his father he doesn’t know what he can do. Meanwhile with Badd and Kay, they’re obviously very happy to be in each other’s lives again, but there’s also building tension about Kay’s whole “second yatagarasu” thing.

So the Forgotten section of the au kicks off with Kay and Badd having a kind of explosive argument about that whole thing. Later that evening, she sneaks out of the house for the meeting that leads into her kidnapping. Badd realizes that she’s left later on and is worried sick, but it’s still not until she gets dropped at Miles’s office that Kay is located again, and obviously Badd’s relief quickly turns into even more anxiety and upset when he finds out about the whole amnesia thing. And it’s this that spurs him to be involved with the game events because he’s certainly not leaving her alone in this state.

I haven’t gotten around to replaying this case yet so I don’t have too much of a breakdown of how things go, but

when Sebastian shows up there’s instantly a Thing about why is he with them he thought Badd was on his side, and he expresses that pretty readily (there have been some near-misses of him mentioning Badd before, most likely during Inherited, prevented by Justine’s intervention because given her whole thing she’s very nervous about bastard man getting suspicious because they’re interacting with Badd). That’s some feelings of anxiety, resentment, and betrayal that are consistently building

eventually Sebastian recognizes Kay and that also adds to his conflicting feelings about the ongoing events because wait that’s his friend. (unnecessarygayfeelings had this idea of him going to talk to her while she’s arrested that leads to him trying to help her with her memories despite still accusing her that I want to implement but we’ll see)

so much extra tension when bastard man shows up with stuff between him and Badd from a) Badd’s extra protectiveness with Kay and the fact that bastard man is definitely taunting him about arresting her and such, b) Badd suspected from just knowing him before and how Sebastian talks about his father that he was a shit parent, but the reality is even worse, c) there’s also just historical buildup tension that would be there anyway between them. I don’t think it would realistically happen but emotionally I want Badd to get to punch bastard man

oh Sebastian’s father definitely uses Sebastian’s extra tension and the connection between him and Badd and him and Kay to mess with him even more, an excuse to push him even harder on making him go with what he wants

The Grades Thing. Sebastian runs off like in canon and while Badd is very torn because he wants to stay and protect Kay, she has other people now so he makes the hard choice to go after Sebastian. Badd talks to him and actually does manage to help calm him a bit, but with Kay in the back of his mind he makes the mistake of saying something to Sebastian about going back to her. Sebastian, still being in an incredibly vulnerable state and nursing the betrayal of Badd going against him this whole time, gets upset, yells something about Badd caring more about her, and runs off

at the end Badd’s probably the one to give Kay the promise notebook because Family stuff. Once she’s reoriented herself a little, Kay, remembering that Badd went after Sebastian and with the context of remembering him and caring now, asks where he went. Badd: .....fuck

so yeah there’s obviously a lot more going on but I think that covers the big stuff! Thank you for your interest, it makes me so happy to see!! and if you wanna know more or need clarification on anything just ask ^-^

#asked and answered #replies anonymous #rambles #untitled aai2 au #aai2 but with badd in #(i need to consolidate these tags soon)#aai2 spoilers #Prosecutor's Path #Tyrell Badd #Kay Faraday #Sebastian Debeste #bastard man #Ace Attorney

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kickingitwithkirk · 5 years ago

Text

A Kiss Upon Your Shoulder

Pairing: Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Trouble Lacroix (OFC)

WC:3536

Warnings: 18 + only: kissing, humping M/F, intercourse, cursing, mention of addiction, angst

A/N: For @saxxxology #saxxxology vol.1 writing challenge

SONG PROMPT: Off My Mind-my favorite on the album

A/N: Set season 14 during Dean Winchester's possession by Apocalypse World's Micheal. Timeline extended and some events altered from series. I borrowed title from song lyrics.

*no beta- all mistakes are mine.

*GIF not mine

The sound of the bunker door closing reverberates through the room.

Several of the hunters around the map table stop what they're doing to watch an unusually tall Omega with long, smoky pink hair braided in a loose plait and wearing hunters garb descend the metal staircase halting at its bottom.

Sam Winchester is sitting at the far end of the table alternating between his phone receiving updates from hunters out in the field and the laptop looking for clues in the search for Dean while strategizing with Mary and Bobby their next move froze disbelieving his eyes.

“Sammy,” the Omega hesitantly says, her lightly accented voice startles him out of his stupor.

Batten down the hatches Sammy boy, Trouble just done walked back into my life… Dean used those exact words years ago introducing him to this Omega, never knowing how true they would turn out to be.

But not for him.

Sam's eyes shift into a fiery glow as his inner Alphas outrage surfaces at this imposter trying to pass itself as his long gone Omega.

“What fucking game are you playing at?” Sam gets up growling, stalking towards her pulling his demon blade.

“Sam wait!” Mary hollers at her youngest son knowing all too well the damage Sam can inflict under normal circumstances but in the state of extreme stress he’s currently under doesn’t want him to do anything he’ll regret.

The Apocalypse World hunters glance at each other perplexed having never before seeing an enraged Alpha, unsure what they should do.

After their arrival to this reality Sam gave them a crash course on life here, including the multiple genders of humans, Alpha/Beta/Omega, their confusing hierarchies and how they relate to each other.

The Alpha/Omega intricacies and nuances were still hard for them to comprehend since all of them were Betas.

The Omega cast her eyes down in deference to the large Alpha. “I'm here abo...” she doesn't finish speaking as he wraps his hand around her throat, slamming her back against a support column. She seizes his wrist as her eyes snap up meeting his glaring back before tilting her head as far as she can to the right exposing more of her throat.

Sam cautiously leans in, running his nose along her neck. The unique scent of winter, perceptible only to the Alpha under the scent blockers she’s used triggers memories he’s diligently repressed to keep this Omega off his mind come flooding back. The blade clatters loudly on the floor in the now silent room.

Wrapping his arms around her nuzzling into the curve of her neck he sucks on that spot he knows drives her crazy. Biting her lip she tangles her fingers in his long hair drawing him back up, running her tongue over his lips seeking entrance that he grants swirling his tongue around hers.

Someone's wolf whistling snaps them out of acting couple newly presented teens caught by their parents being very naughty.

“Hmm, not sorry,” she whispers nibbling on Sam’s ear making him quiver.

“Behave,” Sam mutters back taking a deep breath and subtlety adjusting himself before turning around to deal with everyone's reactions, not really ready to answer the inevitable questions.

Scenting his anxiety she twines their hands together offering a reassuring squeeze.

They’ve drawn quite a large audience from the library and adjoining hallways. People are elbowing each other grinning, whispering among themselves about their Chiefs and strange woman's reactions to each other then necking in front of everyone.

Mary stands there, arms crossed with the patented mom’s not amused look.

Sam huffs out an embarrassed laugh. “Everyone this is Trouble Lacroix, she’s my...she's an old friend.”

“I’m just an old friend after everything I went through for you?” Trouble snaps and Sam growls a warning at her tone but fuck it, she was right.

When Dean introduced them they were both junkies. Sam drugs of choice were demon blood and the power it gave him. Trouble’s was whatever made her forget her hunter fathers dominance over her as an Omega.

By the time they both got clean Sam found he could love again and she had learned to trust the Alpha in him wouldn't hurt her like others had. Sam swore during his next rut he would claim her as his Omega.

A week before he said yes to Lucifer and the subsequent showdown at Stull Cemetery he went into rut.

At their secret rendezvous, an old hunters cabin in Arkansas with his rut over Sam hadn’t claimed her, saying he couldn’t damn her, that this was his last chance to, unlike Jess, save her from certain death.

Trouble stood at the cabins window overlooking a small lake silently crying, unable to respond. The Alpha scented her sadness wanted nothing more than to comfort his Omega but all he could do was to kiss her shoulder, as he’d always done before leaving that last time.

Almost a decade later Sam can see the damage his refusals done in her sorrowful eyes.

“You kiss all your old friends like that?” Bobby quipped sarcastically eliciting a few laughs and breaking some of the tension.

“You look like Bobby Singer but you...resonate all wrong,” Trouble remarks as her light colored eyes surveys the others in the room finally coming to rest on Jack. “A Nephilim without Grace?”

“Yes, he is,” Mary answers crossing over to stand next to Jack, “how can you know that?”

Trouble shrugs “I’ve always been able to perceive things that are outside the normal spectrum.”

“You can what?” Maggie asks confused.

“The Omega can see that you’re out of tune with this reality,” Castiel states tipping his head to the side studying her, “she also possess other abilities.”

“I don’t need them to see your a dick.”

“Trouble,” Sam warns knowing she’d picked that up from Dean.

“Sorry, Angel of the Lord.” She half ass apologizes.

“And you suddenly show up here out of nowhere because?” Mary tersely inquires in her Alpha voice. Sam bristles unhappy that another Alpha, even his own mother, thinks they can question the Omega.

Releasing Sam’s hand she steps closer to Mary taking the same stance staring her straight in the eye. “I’ve seen Dean.”

Trouble tells them everything about her encounter with Dean in Nova Scotia, where she’s been the last two months.

They question is why he let her live when he’s killed others he has had contact with, another piece in a puzzle not making sense.

Sam asks her to stay but she turns him down, telling him it's safer for her to keep moving. He counters what better place is there for protection than in the heavily warded bunker?

She reluctantly agrees but only until Dean returns.

Mary makes it vehemently clear it’s problematic having an unclaimed Omega stay.

Sam reminds his mother that he is a mature Alpha, been making his own decisions without her input his whole life and with the daily suppressants he’s taken for years can control his instincts.

That got Mary’s back up, ready to argue with her youngest son, reminding him the Omegas already made the unmated Alpha act out. Bobby pulls her to the side and somehow he convinces her that the Omegas will be an assist in finding Dean. She doesn’t like but relents. Trouble is to stay in Dean's room, his Beta scent will help cover hers more to mollify Sam and a physical space between them for Mary.

Sam's frustrations over having not found Dean yet and his personal anxieties were intermittently fluctuating. The stresses he’s under, hardly eating, barely sleeping a couple hours a day while keeping track of people out on cases and figuring out how to help Jack adapt to not having his powers. Then there’s Nick, the mere mention of his name makes Sam shudder, let alone the traumatic physical and emotional memories dredged up by their face to face interactions.

Thankfully, there hadn’t been any real drama between Mary and Trouble. They’ve avoided each other as much as possible in the bunker.

It was really late or early, depending on how one looked at it, and Sam was still setting in the quiet library, waiting for the last couple of hunters to check in. “Sam, you’ve been here for hours, go to bed.” Trouble softly remarks as she walks up behind him gently running her fingers through his hair.

Sam closes his eyes enjoying her touch. “Just waiting on Maggie and Sharon to check in then I'll go.”

She snorts snagging his phone when it sounds, “Who you lying to? OK, their at the one star for the night. Everyone's accounted for.” Sam reaches for his phone and she dodges typing before handing it back and walking off.

“Cas is what...the hell that’s happening!” Sam gets up going after her.

“Bobby’s idea so go bitch to him mister ‘cause technically your off duty for the next twenty-four hours.” Trouble says unintimidated with him following her fuming, “Your exhausted Sam, you need a break so quit fighting and let us help.”

She stops at the shower-room door. “First, go bathe, you reek Alpha, then meet me in your room.” Sam goes from pissed off to aroused in three seconds. Trouble scents him, “Yeah right, it’s Netflix and chill...” She remarks them gives him a mischievous grin sashaying off.

Sam had been making courting overtures towards her, even though they were on a time limit, hoping he'd be awake long enough to make the most of this opportunity.

After the much needed shower Sam heads to his room in nothing but a low slung towel tosses it with his clothes into the dirty laundry hamper. Trouble came in carrying a tray of food locking the door behind her stops, inhaling sharply at the view of a completely naked Sam. He shivers as her eyes rove over him.

Sam’s not as bulked up as he was a decade ago, a leaner version still possessing a well defined upper body leading down to his flat stomach, the sharp v of his hips and those long legs. And between those legs...Swallowing hard and flushed Trouble moves setting the tray down on his bedside table as he hastily pulls on sweats and a grey t-shirt.

“Your three episodes behind in that series, figured you might want to watch it.” Trouble says grabbing his laptop and crawling onto his bed pulling up what he had been watching. “Have you seen it?” He asks sitting next to her.

“No, first your gonna eat,’ she gestures towards the tray with tomato rice soup, crackers and fruit, “then you can catch me up.”

By episode three Sam had eaten everything on the tray, brushed his teeth and was sacked out. Trouble shut the laptop down and placed it on the desk.

Turning out all the lights but a bedside one she slips back in next to Sam picking up the book she brought from the library. She’d been reading for awhile when Sam rolls over in his sleep, one leg landing between hers, arm draped across her waist and his head on her shoulder nuzzling into her neck murmuring, “back in my bed.”

As consciousness slowly filtered through the haze of extended sleep two things simultaneously get Sam’s attention, the cool scent of the Omega he’s spooning and his morning wood trapped between them.

“Must’a been a good dream,” Trouble yawns rolling onto her stomach, the sheet sliding down reliving her long legs and lower cheeks peeking out under her oversized T-shirt burying her head in the pillow mumbling “I was gonna leave after you fell asleep.”

Running a hand up the back of her thighs he pushes till she parts her legs far enough for him to touch her outer folds feeling how wet she already is before slipping two fingers into her tight channel. Trouble moans as he them slides deeper, making her wriggle against the mattress seeking friction against her clit. Sam crawls over wedging a knee between hers.

“Sam..we..sho..shouldn’t.”

Pulling his fingers out Sam moves straddling her legs, pinning them closed as he sits on her thighs stroking himself, using her slick as lubricant. Grasping her hips he starts rutting his cock between her ass cheeks.

Grunting, Sam shifts picks up momentum and with her under him, even like this, knows he’s not gonna last long. “Fuc..fuck Trouble..gonna cum…” Sam jerks back fisting his cock rapidly, cumming on her before falling forward and catches himself with one hand next to her, breathing hard. With his other hand Sam runs his fingers through his spending's rubbing it across her back.

Trouble pushes up onto her elbows looking back at him, “Dude, are you scent marking me?”

“Maybe.” Sam replies with a smug smile.

“So gross, Alpha.”

Sam was beyond frustrated and feeling sick on his drive back from Atlanta. The rumored sighting of Dean end up being a bust, another one of those crazies he’s sick of wasting his time chasing. Switching off the radio that's making his headache pound harder making him wish he was home already.

Trouble, utilizing her abilities, was able to help eliminate some of bogus reports. Unfortunately, when any of them got to close, Dean disappeared.

The last time she had him, he created some kind of feedback knocking her unconscious. Cas checked her over, telling Sam she would be fine.

When she woke up Trouble tells them she’s seeing Dean doing strange experimentation on different types of monsters using Archangel Grace and it scares the hell out of her.

That was Sam’s breaking point. He stormed through the bunker in full Alpha mode from the infirmary to Deans room, packed her duffel and hauled it to his room. Even Mary knew better than to get in his way this time.

Sam couldn’t get her off his mind anymore now he had her back in his bed. She allowed him hold her whenever they slept together but wouldn’t permit anything else since that morning.

The Lebanon City Limits sign was a welcome sight. Sam was sweating, shaky and just wanting to get home.

He arrived at the bunker wondering what the hell he had caught. Mary greeted him with a hug and frowned catching his scent. Sam played it off, saying the Beta who had one too many hits of the brown acid was ill and he must have caught it.

Another hunter handed him a bowl of soup and bad news about some gypsy vamps attaching truckers. He had them set up checkpoints and sat down to hack the traffic cams. Mary gripped his arm concerned as he’s typing but he says he‘s good. She didn't believe him but doesn’t push knowing he wasn't gonna stop.

Six hours later as he left Nicks room he felt a massive surge go through him, no longer able to ignore what was wrong and it was his own damn fault.

Sam had forgotten his suppressants and for the first time in years was going into rut. He made it to the end of the hall before passing out.

Cas had been by his friends bedside since Sam was found unconscious in one of the hallways days ago. He had been able to temporarily bring Sam's fever down and gave him sedatives to help him rest but with his age not being mated and having gone years without a rut his biology was demanding only cure, his chosen Omega.

Cas had called the Omega only getting her voicemail, left a message and began sending multiple texts.

He explained to Bobby that Mary had to leave the bunker, not only for her safety but the Betas also living there, unsure of how Sam will react to having another Alpha present when his Omega returned. Bobby found a case in Oregon that would occupy them for at least a week.

So Cas continued to do the only thing he could and watches over his friend.

Sam woke groggy from the sedatives to the strong scent of an Omega in heat pulling him to full consciousness.

Rolling onto his side he finds Trouble lying next to him naked, covered in a light sheen of sweat fitfully sleeping.

Moving to spoon her from behind he grips one leg hooking it over his rocking his hips sliding his engorged cock through her dripping folds, Half asleep she whimpers pulling out of his grip, drawing both legs to her chest. Rumbling in discontent Sam scoots behind her again, lines up and buries himself in her tight heat making her moan with pleasure, her cunt stretching around him.

Sam pulls out and hauls Trouble onto her hands and knees spreading her legs wide and sinks back in till his hips are flush against her ass. Feeling her relax around him Sam grasps her waist so tight bruises already forming and growling at the sight of his cock sliding in and out of her slick cunt he starts pounding his hips rapidly.

Trouble reaches out grabbing the headboard to stop Sam from shoving her into it since he has six inches and nearly seventy pounds on her and is running on his instinct to mate.

Sam's knot starts to swell he continues thrusting wildly wrenches her hips up, forcing her to arch her back more as he grunts ramming the now fully engorged knot into her cunt locking them together and falls over her back, rolling his hips as she clenches him cumming.

Sam pushes himself back upright pulling her with him, flush against chest seizes a fistful of her thick hair bends to bite deeply into her neck making Trouble cry out loudly and cum again.

As they counterbalance each other Sam runs his tongue over his mark cleaning off the seeping blood helping the wound seal up faster before shifting to lay them down on the mattress.

Feeling the tug of his knot Trouble clenches tightly around him again, sending another orgasm rippling through Sam, releasing more of his seed into her.

Sam wraps his arms around Trouble, their bodies trembling from the exertion and a feeling of immense peace he’s never had before settles within him. He places a kiss upon her shoulder as it dawns on him he’s finally being to call her his omega.

“It's just every time I think about ya know its a..its like a nightmare. I can't eat, can't sleep, it’s always just there watching.” Dean bitched as they’re walking through the hallways.

“Dean, it’s just a beard, I’ve been a little busy lately” Sam remarks back exasperated and relived to have his brother back giving him a hard time.

“Yeah well, that’s not an excuse ya know, ‘cause a.. Duck Dynasty called and they just they want it all back.”

“Some people say I look good.” Sam proudly states almost telling him why he’s really kept it.

“No..no Sam, no people say that.” Dean shakes his head.

“Duck Dynasty is a step up from Dr. Sexy in some peoples opinions,” Dean turns to counter that insult disbelieving his eyes like Sam did weeks ago.

Trouble’s leaning against the wall now sporting titian tresses that rival Rowena's.

“Good to have you back Dean,” She says giving him a hug, “and I like the beard.” Walking over to Sam she pushes him against the wall wantonly kissing in front of Dean.

Breathless, Sam touches his forehead against hers running his fingers along the flannels front, “I was looking for this shirt the other day ‘mega.”

“Hmm, my bad, suppose I need to be punished Alpha.” She teasingly remakes biting her lip as Sam purrs low in his chest sliding the shirt off her shoulders.

“You’re back together?” Dean blurts out in disbelief interrupting them.

Sam turns pulling Trouble with him, her back flush against his chest reaches up moving her hair revealing his mark.

Dean looks between them, “fucking took you long enough Sammy,” he barks before continuing down the hallway grumbling, “there better not be any more surprises.”

Sam nuzzled into her neck breathing in the new honey-vanilla scent mixing with her naturally cooler one reaches down placing his large hands protectively over her womb where their surprise is resting tenderly kissing her shoulder.

#saxxxology vol.1 writing challenge #alpha!sam winchester x omega!ofc #radio company #vol 1 #off my mind #spn a/b/o #sam winchester smut #alpha sam fanfiction #spn #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn supernatural #alpha sam fic #beta!dean winchester #alpha!sam winchester x omega

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airanke · 6 years ago

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I can't remember, but i think it was you who said you were changing Wows storyline (not that I blame you lol) but I'm curious what it is? I'm mostly writing excerpts for my characters during Legion and I've been thinking a bit on what they'll be up to during Bfa. I'm debating changing some things to fit my version of bfa lol

Yes, it WAS PROBABLY ME.

I’m changing it specifically for Amita’s “canon” story (Lascivious Ophidian, as I’ve named it). She follows WoW storyline pretty closely up until the beginning of Legion.

Umm because I’m long winded, I’ll put it all under the cut!

[Pre-post Edit]: Also I’m really sorry, I JUST finished typing it all and uh. It’s long. Ahahahah;;;;

Some of my points below are subject to change but I’ll give you the gist of the differing things that happen in Lascivious Ophidian vs. Canon WoW.

Vol’jin and Varian not dying (now, I know Varian dying is important to Anduin’s development, but you don’t need to kill a parental figure to push forward a child. BNHA is a very good example of not needing to KILL the mentor to push forward the student, same can be applicable to Anduin and Varian). Sylvanas actually uses her quick reflexes and her experience as the previous ranger general of Quel’thalas to fire an arrow at the fel guard before it can stab Vol’jin (also I won’t go into how BS it was that he died of Fel Poisoning, but I won’t do that here LOL). If Blizzard wants to write “strong women”, they can start with actually having them use their skills to help their allies (cuz don’t get me started on how Jaina just disappears from the Alliance cinematic along with Mekkatorque so that Blizz can milk the whole Genn / Varian scene).

Quickly following this, Varian and Vol’jin fight the Fel Reaver together while Sylv / Jaina more or less team up to evacuate all Horde / Alliance fighters. Some ofc refuse to leave their High King / Warchief, and both women also provide long range support. Baine has to carry Thrall off battle because Thrall is completely spent. Eventually Vol’jin and Varian take down the Fel Reaver, but not before both of Vol’jin’s tusks break (he loses one to some trash mob that he needs to dodge with little time to think about it - the other he loses because Varian notices that Vol’jin is now off-balance with one tusk missing and listen, Vol’jin has big tusks, bigger than how I draw them, so he’s off-center because of that. This leads to Varian running toward Vol’jin with a hand out, Vol’jin nicks his tusk and in a moment of absolute trust, Vol’jin lowers his head enough to let Varian grab, and snap his tusk. And then kill something with it. Because that’s badass).

Varian unfortunately gets either his spine broken or knocked out (haven’t decided yet) and Vol’jin has to carry him to safety because he’s down for the count, and right before Gul’dan can Do Some Bad Shit the Aspects show up with a large force of dragons. Gul’dan nopes the fuck out. Khadgar manages to make it over to and teleport the remaining people to safety (not sure what entirely happens to Amita during this yet, I originally had her scripted to throw her all into making a wall of roots and get left behind, but I already have a plot similar to that with her disappearing for three years and Vol’jin Will Not Lose Her Again so… that’s still up in the air. She’s present during Broken Shore, though).

Then, instead of leaving cuz she’s Angery at the Horde, Jaina instead recognizes that she still has trauma / pain from what the Horde did to Theramore, and then Dalaran (kinda sorta) during Garrosh’s reign. So she leaves Dalaran to Khadgar because she’s like “y’know what, I can’t bring myself to trust the entire Horde again yet, if you want them in Dalaran, then I can’t be here, in Dalaran. I still need time to heal” something like that. Everyone is understanding of this and doesn’t try to make her stay, and Amita does what she can to help her BFF find some solitude. Something along those lines. Cuz y’know Jaina’s anger and distrust toward the Horde is still valid and understandable, but Blizz REALLY needs to do better with nuance instead of having characters Rage Quit every ten seconds.

Most of Legion stuff otherwise is normal, with the whole class hall thing (the Dreamgrove, in Amita’s case), Genn still pursues Sylvanas into Stormheim but instead of destroying her chance to enslave Eyir, Vol’jin pulls a hard stop on that plan. She rage-vents at Vol’jin about it and he claps back that she never actually asked him if she could go off on this little personal mission of hers, and so robs Genn of the closure he needs in regards to Liam’s death (this is important for another plot point I have further down). Vol’jin promises that he’ll help her find a way to sustain her people through more natural means (l i t e r a l l y). So Vol’jin and Sylv have a pretty strong bond, and also because Sylv actually follows the development Blizz was giving her up until Teldrassil happened, which was her developing past her obsession with keeping ONLY the Forsaken alive (re: “we are the Forsaken, we will slaughter anyone who stands in our way”), and starts to care about the Horde and wanting to keep the Horde alive (which was still hinted at until, y’know, recent shit which I don’t understand).

Argus related stuff is pretty much the same.

Sargeras still stabs Azeroth, and so there’s Azerite everywhere, and Vol’jin is entirely unamused by Gallywix because the Azerite shows Vol’jin a vision that Bwonsamdi has shown him before, so he just shrugs it off, because Vol’jin doesn’t care about becoming the ultimate legendary saviour all-powerful all-mighty whatever the fuck. Silithus is pretty similar but after some ACTUAL TALKING, Vol’jin and Anduin agree to split who harvests Azerite from where so that Horde miners aren’t being killed and Alliance troops aren’t being killed in retaliation (Vol’jin sends Sylv to “deal with” the problem at first, and then has a chat with Anduin to p much show Anduin that “every action has a reaction, did you really expect me to loaf around while you killed my miners?”) Yeah. Learning moment yay.

As for BfA, instead of Teldrassil being burned down by Sylvanas (because she obvs CAN’T do that since Vol’jin is warchief and he would fucking never), Genn is the one behind it. So Sylv WANTS to march on Teldrassil because she doesn’t believe the peace between the Alliance and Horde will last. Vol’jin, while agreeing that it would, in fact, be smart to attack Teldrassil, tells Sylv “no, we can make this work. Sure, peace might not last forever, but so long as I’m in charge, I can make it work. We’ll start with Ashenvale. We’ll start with having our druids restore what we’ve taken”. Sylv eventually agrees that this is a good idea, so then stuff between the Horde and the Nelves is a bit better.

Now, I haven’t ironed out EXACTLY how I get to Genn making the decision to burn down Teldrassil, but he’s very consumed by his anger toward Sylvanas (re: him not getting his chance to ruin HER chance at getting a future for her people because Vol’jin both ruins that chance and proposes an alternative - more or less leading into Forsaken learning druidic magic so that they can use plantlife to sustain and heal their bodies, and we get the orcs of Draenor, so there are other rituals that can be put in place of… FUCKING VALKYR. Please note this is also something else that I’m still working on, but I find it frustrating that we just always forget that the Horde has druids and shamans and there are other ways to preserve the Forsaken than the Blight. Because perhaps Sylv is just going to have to make due with what she has, and IDK ACTUALLY TALK TO HER PEOPLE AND GIVE THEM A CHOICE AND SHIT. Sylv is p much driven by fear of death when you think about it LMAO).

Anyway, Genn burns down Teldrassil but also does it in such a way that the Nelves still blame the Horde. Malfurion has an inkling that Vol’jin wasn’t behind it because he / Sylv / Saurfang show up when they get wind that this is happening and apparently it was Horde troops and the LOOK VOL’JIN WOULD GIVE SYLVANAS AND THE PANIC IN HER FACE LMAO anyway, Genn had made the mistake of capturing a druid, who quickly escaped Worgen eyes and went right to the Dreamgrove, and then immediately went to Amita to tell her what was happening, so Amita immediately goes to Darnassus and starts evacuating people and basically she barely manages to escape in her dragon form and Sylv and her Forsaken pull Amita and a lot of the civillians out of the water yaddyadda fun stuff.

Sylv immediately knows that Genn did this because he wanted an excuse for the Alliance to march on the Undercity, and yeah, kinda goes from there with Undercity plot, and Vol’jin allows Sylv to use the last of the Blight to Blight the Undercity, because there’s no way Sylv will let the Alliance take away her people’s home from them, esp not since they WERE the humans who had lived and died there.

Anyway, my BfA stuff is still kind of a mess becuase while I absolutely loathe Genn’s guts, I don’t want his decision to burn Teldrassil to be on a whim, or to seem non-tactical (personally I thought it would be interesting if Teldrassil was an inside job because then it would be taking away the Horde’s chance to turn it into a Horde stronghold, kind of like how I interpreted Sylv’s choice to Blight the Undercity as her taking away the Alliance’s chance to turn UC into an Alliance stronghold, y’know?)

ALTERNATIVELY I CAN ALWAYS THROW THE TWILIGHT’S HAMMER IN THERE BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE THEM MORE PROMINENCE ANYWAY BECAUSE BLIZZ ALWAYS FORGETS ABOUT THEIR OTHER VILLAIN FACTIONS IN FAVOR OF RED VS BLUE FOR SOME REASON THAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND and I already have an incredibly high ranking Twilight’s Hammer lady in the works, she’s v horny and frisky all the time but she will destroy you make no mistake.

Cuz then Genn could just try to pin it on the Horde anyway, and like… what you gonna’ do bout that, it’s a fire, it will burn all the evidence anyway. Genn’s word against Vol’jin’s. Depending on who you talk to, will depend on who they’re more inclined to believe, no?

I’d go into more but it’s SO MUCH, so I’ll just list a few other things (this is only Horde side related because I STILL haven’t finished Alliance side, my apologies):

Shadra does not die.

Rezan does not die, but is out of commission for a while, therefore still allowing Zul to take over the city.

Mythrax is killed before he can destroy the third seal.

Rastakhan does not die in the Raid on Dazar’alor, for multiple reasons I won’t go into.

He does however step down as king so that he can mentor his daughter, and because he’s ready to let himself die if that ends up being the case.

Katherine and Rastakhan may or may not have a few years together before Rasta finally dies peacefully.

Probably some other things that I forgot, but before anyone comes after me about “reversing” these deaths, listen. From a story only standpoint, they are pointless. In regards to Shadra in particular, the ONLY REASON she even dies is because we, as the player character, cannot attack Yazma. You can bet your entire ass that Amita would go charging down there and bite off Yazma’s head (which is foreshadowed earlier in Amita’s story after Vol’dun stuff but I don’t want to spoil EVERYTHING haha!).

However, these deaths make some sense in regards to the way that Blizzard has plotted their dungeons / raids. They need Yazma to be empowered for a dungeon, just like they need Rezan to die for that same dungeon. Mythrax needs to break the third seal and live for the Uldir raid. Rastakhan needs to take on a deal with Bwonsamdi because there’s a whole death plot aspect thing in BfA and so Bwonsamdi needs to be in that position of power.

For Amita’s story, however, these deaths hold no merit, they DON’T need to happen. Technically you don’t need them to happen in game either, but I digress, I understand the decision that Blizzard made in regards to them even though I obviously strongly disagree with these decisions.

That’s kind of all I’ve got for now. I need to finish Alliance stuff because Amita DOES spend a lot of time on Kul Tiras as Jaina’s support, because Jaina just needs her BFF there to lean on, since going back to a family that thinks you were the cause behind your father’s death is not easy my dude.

#Air is long-winded AS FLYING FUCK #ALso I would say that if you want to make edits #To the WoW story for your chars #Go ahead #No one has the right to stop you #Ask Air

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tiphprince · 4 years ago

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Yes, I do remember the scene where Snape drops a branch on Lily. In fact, he used Diffindo on the trunk, severed the whole tree with his wand, at the amazing age of 9, such a precocious child he was, and sent it straight to her face. Mind you, this is Canon.

Be honest, you haven’t read the books, have you?

Because no one who has read the books could have said that Snape started the fights against the Marauders.

I shouldn’t have to prove that to you. You either haven’t read the books, and thus shouldn’t be trying to act as if you did, or didn’t understand anything that you read. Which one is it?

I admit that you’re making me seriously question my life choices, because I thought I was going to have an interesting debate about Lily, but instead here I am attempting to teach someone how to read and what canon means.

'I'm bored,' said Sirius. 'Wish it was full moon.'

'You might,' said Lupin darkly from behind his book. 'We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here ...' and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. 'I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.'

'This'll liven you up, Padfoot,' said James quietly. 'Look who it is.' Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

'Excellent,' he said softly. 'Snivellus.'

Harry turned to see what Sirius was looking at.

Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up.

Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting: Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

'All right, Snivellus?' said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, 'Expelliarmus!'

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

'Impedimenta!' he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

“It’s canon lol”, and “it’s canon lmao” aren’t arguments. Please, I beg of you, give me a quote, or even a scene where I can find proof that James changed. I’m not talking about theories, or “it must have happened”, I’m talking about JK Rowling actually writing the words down. You know, canon.

If you can’t do that, then don’t bother replying.

I’m not going to fall down to your level and use the nazi analogy, something that jewish people have been asking the fandom to stop doing for ages. It’s both wrong, and shows how little of the lore you understand.

But you’re right, Snape did join the Death Eaters, who were against Muggleborns, and Lily, being a Muggleborn, was rightly hurt and upset by this. While there are many nuances and circumstances, I certainly won’t argue against that, since it’s true.

“It’s canon lmao” followed by “I’m pretty sure it happened off screen”. Do you see the problem here? And no, writing Canon instead of canon doesn’t make it any more truthful, seriously.

I feel like at this point you’re only repeating what you’ve read on other hater’s posts on tumblr, am I wrong? Do you still have the link where you copy/pasted everything? But since you read it on the internet, then obviously it must be true.

was willing to have his best friend stay at his manor for two months of the year. Nice yeah, but don’t make it sound like it’s some kind of sacrifice here. I’d love to have my best friend stay with me for the summer months, and I can tell you, she’s not being abused.

victim blaming. Always nice to hear. Or read.

pretty much the same as number 1, in that what he did is indeed great of course, and brave, but that’s how… most people would have acted? Narcissa Malfoy would have sacrificed herself for her son, that doesn’t make her a hero.

Disliking Snape is of course perfectly fine and normal and understandable, just like disliking any character ever really, we all have our reasons. But at least try to base it on things that actually happened, and not because a loud part of the fandom is feeding you hate filled arguments to regurgitate at the first occasion.

a mini rant on lily’s autonomy

it seems like no one in this fandom cares about the fact that lily choose james not snape. and yet, people go to say either snape deserved lily or james deserved lily but never lily deserved james/snape. so, both of them did wrong, yes. but, lily eventually chose who changed from their bad ways. she sees a spark in james and thus, goes from him. as far as she was concerned, she was not romantically attracted to snape. especially after he goes on to join the death eaters on his OWN WILL where people support the genocide of lily’s kind. it isn’t lily’s job to fix snape nor is it her job to try and be a friend to a man who gives no care for her fragile place in society and willingly joins a group dedicating to eradicating her kind. it is lily’s choice whether she wants to stay with him or not and she chooses it. but somehow, i see a couple of clowns calling her a bad friend for washing off a person who explicitly supports the genocide of her kid and repeatedly acted possessive and doesn’t care for her (instances for those who may argue is when snape rips a picture of her being happy with her family to pretend that he is smiling at him or the time where he is okay with an infant and a man dying just to get her a rebound) – does this look like something that will even work out? i don’t think so. lily chose to leave snape for her own safety; she does not need to endanger her safety and life for a man who doesn’t seem to care about it. lily chose james because he fell in love with that man - eventually, they married and has kids. james treated her well and right and DID NOT support the genocide of her kind. in the end, it is not about who deserves who but who choses who. hopefully, ya’ll can get that into your head

#severus snape #pro snape

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snarktheater · 7 years ago

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Carve the Mark — Part 2 (Chapters 12-14)

After all the bonding our protagonists have done, it's time to throw a wrench into their friendship/budding romance. Because betrayal is the road to a healthy relationship!

More seriously, I'm having a hard time feeling sympathy for Cyra's feeling of betrayal, understandable as it is. They bonded for…what, a few days? Meanwhile, Akos has been captive here for two years. Of course he's going to take the first chance he gets to high-tail it out of there! What did she expect?

That said, in terms of Cyra and Akos's friendship/probably romance…I'm actually kind of ambiguous about this. On one hand, Akos has to show defiance because, well, Stockholm Syndrome is right there around the corner, so if you want a healthy romance to emerge he first has to fight off his captivity. And yes, I know Cyra is also a victim of Ryzek's abuse, but she still holds power over Akos, so it would still count.

On the other hand, he still used her disability (yes, I'm calling it that, because…that's what it is) to drug her against her consent, which is pretty skeevy. Especially considering they don't sleep anywhere near each other, so it's not like proper stealth wouldn't have accomplished the same effect as this. She does sleep and all.

So what we gain in making sure Akos doesn't look like he's falling for her out of misdirected emotional abuse, we lose in making it look like Akos doesn't respect Cyra's humanity. Which would be fine if he was just trying to escape, but again, I'm fairly certain the book is moving them to an eventual romance or at least friendship, which is where that detail makes all the difference.

We're off to a great start with this part, aren't we?

Ryzek blames Cyra for Akos's escape attempt, because…well, he's gotta be an abusive jerk to her 24/7 or we might actually think he's a real person.

“[A currentstick] was our mother’s favorite [weapon] […] An elegant choice,” he said, still without turning around. “More for show than anything; did you know our mother was not particularly proficient in combat? Father told me. But she was clever, strategic. She found ways to avoid physical altercations, acknowledging her weakness. […] You should be more like her, sister,” he said. “You are an excellent fighter. But up here . . .” He tapped the side of his head. “Well, it’s not your strength.”

This…has the potential to be interesting. We know Cyra is not stupid; she studied a school of combat based on strategy all on her own, she's cunning enough to see through Ryzek's political plays, she…well, I'm sure there's more. Point is, I'm pretty sure we're not supposed to read her as stupid. So when Ryzek thinks of her as stupid, it could be the result of her successfully deceiving him. But if that's the case, you've done a pretty poor job of conveying it to us. It sounds like Ryzek is just abusive and ignorant, and like Cyra has no agency whatsoever in this situation.

Anyway, Ryzek has the brothers brought in to administer a punishment. Which is… swap memories with Eijeh. If he does it enough, Eijeh will start internalizing some of Ryzek's personality. Plus…this shit:

“A person’s gift proceeds from who they are,” Ryzek said. “And who they are is what their pasts have made them. Take a person’s memories, and you take the things that formed them. You take their gift. And at last […] I will not have to rely on another to tell me the future.”

I can't really argue this logic, although I do have to wonder: does this mean Ryzek could theoretically steal anyone's power? Or would he lose his own power if he traded too many memories away? And if Eijeh internalizes some of Ryzek's personality, shouldn't Ryzek do he same with Eijeh's memories? Moreover, how does Ryzek know this will work? Has he done this before? Cyra doesn't sound any more sympathetic to Ryzek for trading one memory with him, nor him to her, that's for sure.

I don't know, it's not the worst idea ever, I just feel like it needs more exploration rather than being stated as obvious.

Akos tries to kill Ryzek, because…did I mention Ryzek has a tendency to bring his prisoners to the "Weapons Room", which is exactly what it sounds like, and to keep them unrestrained? Because he does that. Akos is overpowered by Vas, but still, that sounds like a bad idea.

Vas pressed a shoe to his throat, and raised his eyebrows. “One of my soldiers did this to you once,” Vas said.

Yes, because Vas clearly would remember what happened to Akos two years ago in excruciating detail. If you wanted to milk some pathos out of this, book, you had to do it from Akos's PoV, not Cyra's. Or at least have Akos act triggered and talk to Cyra about it afterwards. This does not work.

Ryzek begins trading memories at once, and it works, of course.

When Ryzek released Eijeh, it was with a strange, bewildered look. He stepped back, and looked around like he wasn’t sure where he was. Felt his body like he wasn’t sure who he was. I wondered if he had thought about what trading his memories away would cost him, or if he had just assumed that he was so potent a personality there was more than enough of him to go around.

And considering what happens for the rest of this part of the book at least, it sounds like he's right.

Eijeh, meanwhile, looked at the Weapons Hall like he had only just recognized it. Was I just imagining the familiarity in his eyes as they followed the steps up to the platform? […] Akos pressed his forehead to the ground, and closed his eyes. And no wonder. Eijeh Kereseth was as good as gone.

I do have to say this, though: if you remove the fact that the book doesn't seem to want to deal with the consequences for Ryzek, or how it pulled out of its ass that this would somehow grant Ryzek he ability to steal Eijeh's gift, this sets some pretty decent stakes for Akos. Now it's not just his and Eijeh's freedom that's threatened, it's Eijeh's very existence. I don't know if the book will manage to use those stakes effectively, but credit goes where credit is due.

So let's focus all on Cyra's angst over Akos's "betrayal" instead! Yeah, that's another issue of sticking to her PoV so far, I guess, but then again…you have no need to stick to her PoV, so I'm not in a forgiving mood. Especially when her issues involve…not being on speaking terms and having to go to official celebrations for the festival instead of the cool illicit stuff they did last time.

"Official celebrations", by the way, involve death matches. Not even with people who are viewed as expandable in some way (which…is probably for the best). No, Shotet people just have a tradition of challenging each other over basically anything, and those challenges can be to the death if they want to. Oh, and they can only challenge someone of inferior social status, so it's literally a tool of oppression.

As a result, people often chose to provoke their true enemies by targeting the people around them, friends and loved ones, until the other extended the challenge.

This is setup for a later subplot, by the way. Yes. This stupid piece of world building only exists because Veronica Roth wants to make this into part of her plot. Good job making the entire society sound stupider as a result.

But anyway, that's way too interesting, let's stick just to angst. Specifically, Akos receives the armor he earned during his training. Why now? I have no clue, but Vas takes the opportunity to tease him about how Eijeh now stays in his room of his own free will instead of being forced. Because again, why would you show that stuff?

And so, after Akos asks Cyra if there's a way to reverse the memory trade (which Cyra isn't aware of, short of Ryzek trading back), we get Akos apologizing to Cyra for drugging her.

“I didn’t mean to involve you,” Akos said quietly. “Oh, don’t patronize me,” I said tersely. “Manipulating me was a crucial part of your plan. And it’s exactly what I expected.”

While I'm pretty ambivalent about the drugging in the first place, I'm…really not satisfied by this scene. Mostly because Cyra doesn't seem to acknowledge that yeah, of course Akos wants out because he's a prisoner. It's all about her pride, her ego, and how she should have known better. It's not like she's not entitled to that, but the lack of nuance really doesn't help.

But who cares about apologies or betrayals or captivity, Akos looks hot in his armor!

I finished with the straps, and stepped back. Oh, I thought. He was tall—so tall—and strong and armored, the dark blue skin of the creature he had hunted still rich with color. He looked like a Shotet soldier, like someone I could have wanted, if we had found a way to trust each other.

Ugh.

Skip to the festival's last day, when they're about to leave on the sojourn. Eijeh is part of Ryzek's entourage now, and he is pretty changed.

His shoulders were back, his steps wider, as if for a taller man, his mouth curled at one corner. Eijeh’s eyes passed over his brother and scanned the street beyond Noavek manor. “Eijeh,” Akos said, his voice breaking. Eijeh’s face betrayed some recognition, as if he had spotted his brother from a great distance.

He's also suddenly in control of his oracle gift now, because…I don't know, evil is always more powerful than good, I guess. And he's willing to help Ryzek with it, too, telling him he foresaw a public act of defiance, but he already has a plan to use it to Ryzek's advantage.

Ryzek narrowed his eyes. “Tell me.” “I would, but we have an audience.” Eijeh jerked his head toward the back of the vessel, where Akos sat across from me. “Yes, your brother is an inconvenience, isn’t he?” Ryzek clicked his tongue. Eijeh didn’t disagree.

See, why did you need to have Vas teasing Akos earlier? This is way more effective to show us that Eijeh has changed. This book is actually frustrating at times, because it does manage to do some good things, but it throws them away or ruins them every time.

But as that quote implies, Cyra and Akos are pretty much shoved away, and they're awkward to each other because of all the betrayal and stuff. But it all gets better when they get to Cyra's quarters on the sojourn ship. See, unlike her room in the Noavek manor, which is utterly impersonal, this place isn't, because…I don't know, she sees it as her true home or something. And she also commissioned an apothecary for Akos.

“You made this place?” he said, turning toward me. I couldn’t read his expression. I nodded. […] “Cyra,” he interrupted. “Nothing is blue. Not even the clothes. And the iceflowers are labeled in Thuvhesit.” “Your people think blue is cursed. And you can’t read Shotet,” I said quietly.

See, she does care! Just not enough to do anything about his brother being erased from existence, I guess.

“How do you keep doing this?” he said. “Keep going, when everything is so horrible?” Horrible. Was that what life was? I had never put a word to it. […] “Find another reason to go on,” I said. “It doesn’t have to be a good one, or a noble one. It just has to be a reason.” […] I knew mine: There was a hunger inside me […] And when I finally named it, I found it was something very simple: the desire to live.

Wow, great character motivation, book, considering we know that neither protagonist dies until the second-to-last chapter at the earliest due to chapter titling scheme. The last chapter is Akos's, by the way, and if Cyra dies, I'm pretty sure we'll have reached peak…Divergence.

So what about that act of defiance Eijeh foresaw? Well, Lety Zetsyvis is on board too, and her father being tortured and driven to suicide has made her pretty angry, so she reveals Ryzek's fate to everyone. No, I'm not sure how she knows. Ryzek's answer?

“That fate . . . is a lie told by the people who want to destroy us,” he began.

Well of course! And it works, too. Same when Lety says her dad wasn't murdered by Thuvhesits. And…well, at least this time the anti-intellectualism is a tool of the villain, not the driving force of the heroes. So at least it's one step above Divergent in that regard.

Lety is sentenced to fight for her life in the arena against Cyra, because Ryzek wants to test Cyra's loyalty and Lety accusing Cyra of torturing her dad is as good a reason as any.

Cue Cyra angsting about now being Ryzek's executioner, Akos somehow figuring out that Ryzek has something to blackmail Cyra with (which we're not even privy to yet), and then it's straight to the arena before dinner. Yes, really.

Cyra is forced to fight without armor or weapon, because Ryzek wants to impress people. I'd pretend like this is interesting, but…no. Cyra is supposed to be a great fighter, so she can easily counter Lety, and her power is basically instant death if she touches Lety, so it ends pretty fast. Pretty OP, if you ask me, even if it does leave Cyra in intense pain until Akos gets to her. Which…yeah, he does.

Just out of sight, Akos reached for me, pulling me against him. He pressed me to his chest in something like an embrace, and said something to me in the language of my enemies. “It’s over,” he said, in whispered Thuvhesit. “It’s over now.”

Ship tease much?

Cut to Cyra's room, where Akos helps her carve Lety's kill mark in her arm (and yes, this includes a title drop, because the book thinks it's clever, I gues). This means we get to see her kill marks…and they're all barred in sign of loss.

“I only marked my mother’s passing,” I said, just as quietly. “Make no mistake, I am responsible for more deaths, but I stopped recording them after her. Until Zetsyvis, anyway. […] Death is a mercy compared to the agony I have caused. So I keep a record of pain, not kills. Each mark is someone I have hurt because Ryzek told me to.” […] “How old were you, when he first asked you to do this?” I didn’t understand the tone of his voice, with all its softness.

This is kind of anticlimactic. Especially when you add the added ship tease at the end.

They also bond over how neither of them says the traditional prayer while carving the marks, and since I have no idea what that prayer is, I'm not sure what it tells us about them. Except that they're special snowflakes, I suppose.

And that's enough grief, so Cyra leads Akos to a crawl space above her room where they wait for takeoff and have more shippy moments.

“See?” I said, lacing my fingers with his. “It’s beautiful.”

Later that…evening, I guess…Cyra gets summoned to Ryzek alone.

When I walked in, Ryzek was standing in front of a large screen […] it took me a few beats to realize that he was reading a transcript of the Assembly Leader’s announcement of the fates. Nine lines of nine families, spread across the galaxy, their members’ paths predetermined and unalterable. […] If he was reading the fates, he was not in a good mood, and most of the time, that meant I should tread lightly. But tonight, I wondered why I should bother.

This feels wrong. We've established that Ryzek abuses Cyra emotionally; she should know exactly why she should bother and the answer is "to avoid more abuse". It's a survival tactic that every abuse victim goes through, and it's also the one that backfires and means victims stay with their abusers.

If she can just decide she doesn't want to bother with it anymore, it basically means ending abuse is as easy as deciding you can't take it anymore, which shifts the onus entirely on the victim. And granted, victims should be helped out of abusive situation, but this framing here is…dangerous, to say the least.

Ryzek wants to display more strength to make sure no one else follows Lety, especially since his investigation of her dad revealed that there are indeed multiple renegade Shotet colonies.

Also, we learn that he's looking for the Benesit children, since he's fated to "fall" to their family and they also have fates. Specifically, the oldest will "raise her double to power", and the second child with "reign over Thuvhe". Ryzek thinks the second child will soon declare herself, and that she's Thuvhesit, so he wants to kill her.

And…wait, does that mean they don't know who the Benesit family was? I wasn't aware that that was a mystery, since the Kereseths and the Noaveks were both families people knew of. The issue was more that, you know, their fates are supposedly inevitable.

I mean, Cyra does raise the objection that he can't kill her until she fulfilled her fate, but he doesn't seem to think that's a big deal.

“You think that I, of all the people in the galaxy, can’t be the first to defy his fate?” “That’s not what I meant,” I said, trying to stay controlled in the face of his anger. “All I meant was that I’ve never heard of it happening, that’s all.” “You soon will,” he snapped, his face twisting into a scowl. “And you’re going to help me.” I thought, suddenly, of Akos thanking me for the way I arranged his room, when we got to the sojourn ship. […] “No,” I said. “I won’t.”

…Yup, the book's going there. She decides that the abuse and blackmail are suddenly irrelevant, and she just doesn't want to. And sure, she argues that he can't actually afford to lose her, since she's such an integral tool of his rule, which removes the blackmail. But the abuse? I don't know, it doesn't matter anymore, I guess.

That was what the challenge with Lety had been, after all: a demonstration of power. His power. But that power actually belonged to me.

So I guess escaping abuse is just that easy, huh. Did she never think about this until now?

The book tries to frame this like Ryzek created his own monster and she's now turning on him. It's an interesting narrative, but it doesn't mesh well with her being an abuse victim. It just makes it sound like she just needed a pretty boy to tell her she can be a good person to realize that she can. And that the abuse was just…a byproduct of the blackmail, I guess?

And that's the end of that. She goes back to her room, apparently triumphant, and tells everything to Akos, because I guess they're back to being friends. Also, they bond over being masochists, because that's the road to love.

“You don’t make any sense to me,” I said to him. “It’s like the more terrible things you find out about a person, or the more terrible a person is to you, the kinder you are to them. It’s masochism.” “Says the person who’s been scarring herself for things she was coerced into doing,” he said wryly.

Truly meant to be.

“You don’t hate me at all,” I said in almost a whisper, afraid to hear the answer. But his answer came steadily, like it was obvious to him: “No.”

I'm so shocked. It's almost like I called it or something.

Anyway, since Cyra has suddenly shaken off her abuse, she decides she might as well also help Akos free his brother. It's not like she can have a personal motive to turn on her tyrranical, abusive brother. She needs a pretty boy to both trigger her rebellion and to give her a motive to keep rebelling.

#carve the mark #veronica roth #book reviews #ya books #young adult #books #young adult books #ya #reviews #book #book review #review #st: carve the mark

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