#I'm trying to come up with a stealth way to get top surgery

[actual-corpse]

Here we go, scheming again.

[occultbooks]

Please tell me all your trans Wilson headcanons OP

oh my goodness is this.... an excuse to talk about trans wilson...? oh my goodness ok let me get my affairs in order, no pun intended. I dont know what you want specifically, but a lot of these are just thoughts about how the idea of wilson being trans ties into canon

I think being trans is where a lot of wilson's comphet comes from. not only will being with a woman make him look "normal," but also like a man, and by extension, he will be viewed as a "normal man"

he absolutely would have done the legit porn part of feral pleasures if he had had the equipment at the time. in fact, there are a lot of things he would have done if he were a cis man. but, c'est la vie

he's stealth, but told cuddy because they're besties and wilson felt like he could actually trust her, despite having known house for longer. house found out accidentally, but doesn't tell anyone because (his words) "I'm not a monster, jimmy"

he went off T in his 30s because he thought it would dampen his sex drive and save his marriage (it only worked for a little while). he didn't get back on T until around 2005, which is why he looks so twinkish and young in the first season.

he was in girl scouts as a kid. yes, this is me projecting.

house did his phalloplasty and wilson still does not know how he let that happen. both of them, however, are happy with the result.

before top surgery, he used to fall asleep with his binder on all the time. its a miracle his ribs are intact.

he gets dysphoric about random shit. his paranoid ass looks in the mirror and goes "do you think my teeth are too feminine?" and it gives house a headache

the mcgill sweater was absolutely his chest dysphoria sweater

he used to go on trans internet forums and soak up all the insane information about "how to pass," like shaving peach fuzz, or not eating chocolate because there's too much estrogen in it, or standing in a superhero pose, and he did it, even though he knew it wasn't scientifically sound. again, I am projecting

taub is the only other person who knows because wilson approached him about facial masculinization surgery. he opted not to get it because the way taub said "no offense, but why do you need that?" made him feel like it probably wasn't necessary

he shaves his face for professionalism reasons, but he's actually a very hairy man. being hairy is important to him, mostly because its another arbitrary thing that makes him a "normal man," but also because he knows that people (women and house) find it attractive.

his family is not super duper understanding, but they try their best. his mom beats herself up because she thinks he didn't have a strong enough female role model in his life. they're trying.

that's all I can think of right now. I hope this is sufficient :3

[decaydanceredacted]

(follow up from the "please remember joe is jewish" ask)

okay but yentl has such gay transmasc potential - what if me and joe are at yeshiva together and our eyes meet across the shiur as we fiercely debate the talmud. he ends up being my chavrusa: i like his lisp and the jokes he cracks which make our teachers frown; he likes my eyes and the way i take things so seriously.

i'm a stealth trans man, and when joe finds me out i beg him not to tell anyone. i'm naked except for a towel, having been in our dorm's shared bathroom when he caught me. he's trying not to look at me impurely, but i catch his eyes sneaking glances at my body and i know what i need to do. dropping to my knees in front of him, letting the towel fall away to reveal my top surgery scars and my cock already wet with anticipation, i look up at him with big eyes: "*please* don't tell anyone, joe. i'll do *anything*."

he's so nervous - this is so wrong! it goes against everything we've been learning! - but he lets me undo his jeans and pull out his gorgeous cock. (we know it's not huge but i firmly believe it's a good-looking dick.) it's his first time getting a blowjob, and he's making these desperate noises and his hands are flailing, so i grab hold of them and place them firmly in my hair. thankfully he gets the picture and grabs my hair and begins fucking my face - he doesn't even mean to, he just can't help it because my mouth feels so fucking good. he's swearing and crying out to g_d and when he comes in my mouth (after not very long at all, he was so desperate) he manages to grin cheekily down at me and tell me i have to swallow or else i'd be wasting his seed.

(and later he lays me out on his bed and eats my ass like he's ravenous and then fucks me soooo slowly and gently because that's what the talmud says to do, and he tells me he'd never do anything to lose a chavrusa like me)

.

[gorey]

been randomly tweeting about this on zero sleep but reformatting in better detail for tumblr bc oh my gd I forgot about just how fucked up a part of 2018 was for us in an incredibly short span of time

- been 18 for a month, flagrantly abusing prescription ketamine, at our wits' end

- finally run out of ket when the use overtook the refill schedule, have a really vulnerable moment on video call with some summer camp friends

- literally the next day. walk over to the local garden store, get hired for the landscaping crew as a stealth transmasc binding full time we're talking manual labor 8 hours a day in the boiling sun in the titty squisher Plus we're weak as shit Plus we get in trouble for asking to use a client's bathroom bc we can't disclose that we don't have the parts required to piss in an empty Gatorade bottle. This lasts less than a week.

- break up with our long term partner, kiss best friend who is dating other best friend (who I'd had much stronger feelings for for a long time) (they both hate me now and we don't speak but that falling out didn't happen until several years after all this), try to like. get in a polycule with the two of them but I'm still talking to my ex and we get back together almost immediately on the condition that they get therapy (they never did) bc they started showing the bare minimum signs of actually loving me and I was of weak constitution

- after the landscaping crew I manage to worm my way into freelancing as a landscaper clearing the back lot of a local bakery (free fine pastries and coffee a massive perk) (also shoutout to the dude who would come by and harvest bamboo to make canes with, he helped me figure out how to work more efficiently).

- have massive sexuality crisis (false flag, was identifying as bi decided I was gay now I realize I'm bi I just had a lot of Girl Trauma from my other shitty ex) while working the lot just wandering around in a stupor imagining really unpleasant scenarios. I bought some really weird camel cigs that I've never had before or since they were tiny and odd tasting

- injure myself and never go back to work bc now it's time for my top surgery

Fast forward a few months I, titless, have moved in with the person I failed to break up with to escape my demented abusive father who had moved back in from an old folks home earlier that year to cut costs, get an awful awful job at chipotle, dive right back into my ketamine abuse now with even greater weed access for a truly mindbending experience, didn't need to pay rent bc my partner (now Actually my ex but not til several years after this) has RICH and ABUSIVE parents that were disappointed in their performance at college so they literally BOUGHT A HOUSE, made it be in my partner's name and had them play landlord for 2 chill friends and 1 absolute asshole all engineering/compsci students who would buy 4-aco-dmt on the gray net and built all kinds of weird fucking shit and art installations and one of them (the one who only ever consumed soylent) got a tarantula named APPLEBEES bc my partner as the fucking homeowner (vomit emoji) had naming rights for any bug introduced in their vicinity. Partner's deeply suicidal plans on dying after they graduate (fortunately didn't happen) I am utterly powerless in the face of this I'm being emotionally neglected and working myself to the bone but it was like one of the best eras of my life bc I got to get obscenely high and wander in the woods or just sit in the kitchen with the rave lights going listening to Blood Orange

[PRIEST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CONFESSION BOOTH RIPS A FAT VAPE HIT]

[meatshowers]

I've slept 5 hours in the past 72 and following the anti-trans legislation in the US means I'm exposed to detrans* rhetoric at truly toxic levels and I cannot fucking take it anymore. Attacks you like a wild animal.

1. So much of your target audience has Sunday school specific trauma. Work harder to not sound like the most satisfied fart sniffing Sunday school babysitter.

2. Who the fuck told you you HAD to have bottom surgery after top surgery? No one. I know it was fucking no one. MAYBE Noah the transmed but he is 13 and no one fucking likes him. So many people who desperately want and NEED bottom surgery cannot obtain bottom surgery. Trans healthcare is not this inescapable conveyor belt of sin - it takes IMMENSE EFFORT and MONEY and TIME to access any point of it. As you damn well know. You only think it's too easy because you think it shouldn't be obtainable at all.

3. "Oh I didn't hate being a woman I hated being seen as a woman so I thought being a man would be better :(" yes yes we've all been here. you can always tell the people saying this were not particularly gnc as kids because despite what we all like to think, tomboys are not actually treated with any more respect than any other girl.

And it really doesn't take much more thought or experience to tell you that being a trans man, even passing, even stealth, while it can absolutely provide benefits and privileges, the simple fact that we are trans means that threat of misogyny, gendered violence, transphobia, never fully leaves. It's always there, waiting for the slip. Transitioning is just not an effective way to "escape misogyny and/or homophobia" and I'm tired of entertaining dumbasses' ideas that it is.

4. 25? TWENTY FIVE. so cis people, they get to just live life, 25 whole years of it, as themselves. So, 25, that age where, here in the US at least, the system is set up with the expectation that you'll have gone to college, chosen a career, potentially even gotten married- all that *should be lived through*, even if you *know you're trans*, even if every day is a struggle, if those major life events are fundamentally shaped by having to live with dysphoria- just to *make sure*.

This is a big one with me, it's the ultimate one with me, really. why is it trans people have to prove a certain level suffering? That's been the paradigm really since the beginning of medical transition, and it's abhorrent. Why do trans people have to prove, to cis people, that we have suffered enough, suffered correctly, why do we have to grovel and beg for the mercy of cis society, even when that society has made it abundantly clear that no performance will ever grant us full validation and acceptance?

Suffering only "affirms" someone when the affirming party feels better knowing they've suffered. That does not come from a place of love.

4.B. What you wanna say is never. I transitioned at 27, after trying for years to convince myself I could live a mundane, boring, half-alive kinda life, because I'd done it for so long already and I could only see it getting worse. My dysphoria wasn't that bad after all. It's just a rock in my shoe. I don't even feel it most days. Really it's my fault when I do feel it- I know I shouldn't have moved that way.

Anyway, that's my biggest regret. Not letting myself live fully, for so long, listening to the oh so very concerned voices of you fucking people.

Have the day you deserve

*I say specifically detrans and not detransitioner here, because I see detrans people talk all the time about the "detrans movement"(ie the 4 women they fly out to every state legislature for their anti trans bills 🙄) . I do not know the preferred language by detransitoners who are not anti-trans, but this distinction has been made with the intent to separate and spare detransitoners as a whole from the wider political activism being done in their name.

"irreversible side effects of HRT" all of life is irreversible. i cannot go back a single second in time

[dog-teeth]

Hiii please don't answer if this question is too much but I was wondering what your experience as a trans person existing is like? Rn I'm cis passing and low-key making me miserable but the anxiety of how I would b treated in the world is so so so scary so I guess is it hard? Are you treated any different? Especially the non-binary thing bc that's me too <3

haiii as always i write fucken essays so its below the cut lol

well first of all i can only speak to my own experience, which is obvs influenced by the other parts of my life like my location/class/race/sexuality/personality/etc, it difficult/impossible to distill what "being trans" is like without factoring in everything else.

but anyways, i'm extremely lucky to have had the security to come out and be open about my transness since i'm surrounded by really excellent people. when i came out i was 14 and didn't know any other trans people, and it sucked, but i feel like even in just the past 6ish years there's a LOT more visibility for trans people than there was back then, and obvs i was young and had a lot less personal autonomy at the time. but my friends were all really cool about it and my parents were chill as well, and i went to a good high school where my teachers were respectful (i got misgendered by other students but once they were aware of me being trans they usually stopped) so i honestly didn't face that much external difficulty because of my gender.

the period between coming out and medically transitioning was rough a lot of the time tho, just because of the frustration of trying to be seen a certain way and the world never seeing you that way, at times it felt futile to even try and for a long time i really wished i wasn't trans, because being trans had never brought me any joy, so i didn't have pride in it the way i could with my sexuality, as it had only ever caused me pain (whereas my queer sexuality had lead me to love, sex, community, etc). but those were internally-driven feelings, not anything specific in how i was treated except for generally living in a world that didn't see me as myself, but that's also true when ur not out. it took a lot of fighting to be seen, and learning how to make myself happy.

since coming out, though, its been really really amazing. meeting & connecting with other trans people, dating other trans people, helping other people figure out their gender identities by being myself around them, making art about being trans, etc, is very rewarding, and obvs u can do that without being "out" too.

emotionally its very fulfilling, like jesus christ medically transitioning once i was an adult was so fucking awesome. i hadnt realized how much not being visible as my gender to other people was holding me back and distressing me until it stopped. even though i had socially transitioned earlier and been respected by people around me, it wasnt until i went on hrt and had top surgery that i felt really really good about existing as a trans person, when i could exist at any time in any space in any clothes and be seen how i wanted to be seen, and felt like my body was as it should be.

i don't really get treated differently tbh, most people don't readily assume ppl are trans so upon meeting me people just think im a queer guy, and i only bring up being trans when i want to & feel ok doing so. being nonbinary some people are bad about using my pronouns but i honestly dont care much. every once in a while i have to explain gender stuff to people but again i dont mind. its def more annoying than if i was a binary trans person but meh.

there's some annoying/anxiety-inducing stuff like dealing with extended family, doctors appointments, legal documents, and situations where i feel like i have to try to be Stealth, but those are rare compared to my everyday life where i'm genuinely just vibing.

i completely respect trans people who don't want to be out for whatever reason, but personally i've found it to be very rewarding and i can only imagine how miserable i'd be if i couldn't be open about my gender.

tldr; it's hard while you're figuring yourself out, but if the people around you are generally good, it's extremely awesome to be able to be yourself and transition!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

hi!! semi-urgent. I'm in college and almost 100% stealth (only out to my roommate and a professor or two) but I'm getting top surgery (ftm) near the beginning of this semester. i'm taking the necessary time off but I know my mobility will be limited/different for weeks or months after, and i know people will ask questions. is there a surgery that has similar affects that i could say I got that's not super serious but would still explain the mobility issue? and please don't say that it's none of their business and they shouldn't be asking, because not answering just raises more suspicion and i need to tell my professors/student life office something, and i really don't want to need to out myself because i got a surgery that's supposed to help me be stealth. thank u!!

Lee says:

If you need to tell your professors and your student life office something to explain the reason why you need two weeks off from classes, you could tell them that you’re getting a similar surgery. 

Gynecomastia surgeries can involve liposuction and/or excision just like trans top surgeries, and therefore leaves similar scars. Gynecomastia is always a good excuse because it isn’t a serious medical issue or disability which would be kind of ethically questionable to fake. And it’s similar enough to the surgery you really are getting, so you won’t be asked questions that you don’t know how to answer (which is the danger of straight-up lying). And it’ll explain any visible scarring you may have once you’re healed, although that wouldn’t be an issue with your professors because they don’t see you shirtless.

Or you could talk to the disability services office and see if you can get a generic “medical time off” note to provide to them for privacy reasons. Getting academic accommodations like time off for mental health/disability/surgery/etc typically require you to disclose to their office what the disability is, but then they don’t tell the professor because it’s your private health information. 

In general, if your professors get the note and ask why you need 2 weeks off then saying “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my health issues but I appreciate your concern and I want you to know that I’m going to be okay” or “I’d rather not talk about it, but I really appreciate your understanding about helping me find a way to make up any missed classes!” wouldn’t immediately make your professors think that you’re trans because there’s a lot of health and mental health issues someone can have and people often don’t want to discuss it because it’s stigmatized/embarrassing/private/etc, especially when it’s gastrointestinal related or mental health related. If you do think that asserting your boundaries is suspicious, then you can tell them the aforementioned gynecomastia excuse.

It’s true that your ability to reach/stretch and carry heavy things might be affected for a while, but it won’t be noticeable in a classroom setting if you don’t draw attention to it, so you don’t really need to tell anything at all to your classmates because they won’t notice.

You’ll have to ask your surgeon about your own restrictions and it’ll also depend on your healing, but typically the timeline goes like this:

5-7 days: may engage in ADL’s (“activities of daily living”; light housework, etc, provided not lifting more than 20-30 pounds)

7-10 days: may consider RTW (“return to work”, again with the above lifting limitations for 4-6 weeks)

2-4 weeks: may engage in light exercise/extra activity (dog-walking, etc)

4-6 weeks: may engage in moderate exercise (bicycle or treadmill, but no full exertion)

6+ weeks: full activity (including heavy lifting/jogging) generally OK

Generally, most people are back to their normal routine by 2-4 weeks. Overall, it generally takes 3 months for significant swelling to go down and 6-12 months for scars to mature/fade, but that isn’t something that folks will notice if you’re wearing a shirt!

Covid has made this a pretty unique year, so that also provides a few opportunities. If you’re able to do remote/online learning, you won’t have to explain anything because nobody would be able to tell from seeing you sit at a desk using a webcam. So you could always semi-disappear for the 2 weeks it takes to recover and say you were quarantining!

I took 2 weeks off from work after my top surgery in 2017, and when I went back to work (as a page at a public library) my coworkers who I hadn’t disclosed to didn’t know I had just gotten surgery. I didn’t take off my shirt to show my bandages and I didn’t need to like reach above my head so there weren’t any obvious mobility limitations even though I was still healing. I couldn’t lift things heavier than 30 pounds, but I didn’t need to so it didn’t come up.

So you might have to give an explanation to your school about why you need time off, but after you’ve had 2 weeks to recover, your classmates likely won’t realize anything is different and won’t ask questions as long as you don’t try to go to the weight room or something.

[placentaeater999]

i don't know if u mean like famous or just every day success

But

Hi im PlacentaEater999 and i am a trans guy that got/is getting the medical care i want 👍

About me: I'm almost 21, so im kinda an adult ig. I work for my university as a marketing + graphic design lead for their basic needs initiative and have worked for for there for going on 3 years now. I am getting a B.A. in biology and studio arts so i can talk to ppl about science in cool and creative ways (and to do other cool art)! I sell my art at makers markets and have had my work in a couple galleries now (happened this year :3) and i work alongside an lgbt rights advocacy org. I volunteer as a street medic in protests, and in my free time i play/listen to music, take care of my cat, play video games, do fun art, garden, and be silly as fuck. I also used to compete in competitive speed solving for rubiks cubes. I've been out forrrr maybeee 8 years? 9? Idk, i came out at the end of Fifth grade when i was 11-12. I was super fuckin stealth until the end of high school when i started opening up, and now I am a proud openly trans man starting my third year of university.

i just wanted to share some parts of my story bc for a long time I didn't think id really make it past high school (and I almost didnt) and i think its important to see thhat trans youth grow up and CAN Actually get to a happy spot in their transition

That being said

Im here!! And this year im celebrating 5 years post-top surgery in November!!!! And i like the changes t has done for me! And i'm currently trying to get my hysterectomy (hopefully my last step in medically transitioning). Insurance is and has been hell the entire time (literally called abt an insurance issue for my hysterectomy consult today), and it took so long for insurance to cover anything and a lot of disappointment and let downs but also a lot of happy moments of knowing that im moving forward. This doesnt mean that i feel super peppy all the time now, like, lets he real. Shit is scary as Fuck right now and im scared im sad im heartbroke and im angry, but i also feel pride. I think younger me would be in awe of who i am now, and it kind of chokes me up. I look at myself in old photos with so much patience and so much tenderness and think like just

W o w

Like i am ME now

Like i

Am ME

[Name] is ME like wha t

It took so much blood, so many tears and so much time and patience to get where i am in my transition. It's been so fuckin hard. But if i were given the option i would choose this life every single time. There was a while where i would say no to that option. I hated being trans so much for so long and it made me such a bitter little asshole. But over time and like learning my history as a queer chicano and unlearning certain things and working on decolonizing my thinking, ive learned that im so much more than i thought i was. And that goes for you too friend. You're so much more than u think u are and i hope things work out for you

It takes WORK to be you, and you're doing it just fine. The pride that comes from that work is not something anyone can take from you

heyy does anyone have any transgender success stories i want to see trans adults being alive and getting the medical care they want if applicable. i really just want hope tbh