#I'm too tired and there's no point posting this tomorrow morning so

[w2mini]

RED MEANS TAKEN DUMMY! atsumu x reader

-happy valentines 𓂃۶ৎ warnings: reader is reserved, swearings, black cat x golden retriever (I'm never getting tired of this trope for atsumu) fluff only

For Atsumu, he's always been drawn to you—the quiet, pretty muse from unfortunately another class who never seemed to fall for his popular charm. And what's worst is that you weren't even doing anything to catch his attention. It was just a random Tuesday when you were introduced as a new student in Inarizaki, then went on with your day as a normal student like everyone would—and that?

That drove him crazy.

It was probably your reserved nature that felt refreshing to him since he's used to having a crowd of admirers around him. You weren't trying to stand out, be loud—you just always seemed like you had your own little world to be content with.

And he desperately wants to be a part of your life. But let's be real—he's probably not the type to immediately accept his feelings about you because this is genuinely the first time he's falling for someone, so with some ups and downs, denial, and winning a war with his own feelings—yep, he wanted you BAD.

So little by little, he would hang out with you during breaks, keep you company, and slowly become a part of your inner circle—you grew fond of him in your own quiet way. So with Valentines coming up, Atsumu decides it would be the perfect time to confess his undying love for you.

But of course this is an Inarizaki centered story, and it's not one without chaos.

"Yo, have you guys seen the new post from the student council?" The volleyball club were currently in the gym practicing as usual every after school times. Akagi, who was simply scrolling at his phone during break ends up with an interesting post from their student council's social media page regarding the event tomorrow. "The color-coded shirts? still haven't decided what I'm gonna wear to be honest." Aran replied, approaching Akagi to look at his phone, checking what each color meant. To celebrate Valentines, the student council announces a color-coded Valentine's event wherein students wear shirts that indicate their relationship status: Red meant taken, White meant single, Pink means friend-zoned, Black meant heartbroken, etc. Atsumu, who was already plotting his confession, grinned to himself. White it is, because, obviously, he's saving himself for you. So could you just imagine on a Valentines day morning, he's all excited walking at the school, ready to show off in front of you, and sees you in the hallway—

... wearing a red top.

aka TAKEN.

his soul shatters at the sight.

I—what—When—WHO???? Osamu and Suna who was with him—seeing the devastated face on Atsumu bursts into laughter.

He turned to Osamu, aggressively whispering "WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN???”

"She's taken? tough luck Miya." Suna says in between giggles.

You on the other hand who was just simply talking to a friend—doesn’t recognize the chaos happening behind you for wearing a red top.

“You never told me you were in a relationship?” Your friend offhandedly asks, but they were also internally panicking because they know about Atsumu’s plan.

You tilted your head in confusion, “huh? but I dont?”

“what? it’s red though.” your friend points at your top.

“so? don’t people wear red for valentines?”

You friend’s expression drops.

“[name] you dumbass.”

—

Atsumu spent the whole day sulking, even during practice. He messed up the easiest receives, screwed up his sets, and almost hit Suna on the head with his serve.

that damn red top, he’s never been this furious over a color, and what’s worst is that you looked good with that top too!

How come he had already lost without starting?

And how come he never knew you were already in a relationship? You never gave hints or said anything about being in a relationship—

“If I were you, I would’ve confessed already rather than sulking like that.” easier said than done Aran.

“She was wearing red, RED!” Atsumu dramatically exclaims as he drowns on his own sorrows.

“What did red mean again?” Ginjima asks.

“Taken.” Suna replied bluntly, making Atsumu hiss at the word.

“Never stood a chance huh?” Osamu grinned mockingly.

“SHUT YER TRAP SAMU.”

Kita could only facepalm at the situation, but he’s rather amused since this is the first time he’s seen Atsumu like this, “You know Atsumu, have you ever thought that maybe she just wore the color and discarding the meaning?”

Atsumu’s ears perked up, then Ginjima suddenly had a lightbulb over his head, “Oh yeahhh, it could mean like that too, there were a bunch of guys wearing black for fun earlier despite not being in a relationship.”

“Maybe try asking her about it then?” Akagi suggested.

I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Actually scrap that, it would.

That is until knocking was heard on the doors of the gym.

The team looks over to the source of the sound then sees—

You… with a small box.

“Uhm, pardon me but can I call for Atsumu?” You asked, peeking over to the doors.

Atsumu immediately RAN and was suddenly infront of you, looking… nervous?

“Did ya’ uh, need anything?” he asks, his voice crackling a little.

Then, you hold out the gift to him. “For you.”

Atsumu froze.

“Huh…?”

“Thanks for always keeping me company,” you say softly. “I know I’m not the easiest person to approach.”

Atsumu finally finds his voice. “Wait—so yer not datin’ anyone?”

You blink. “No, why?”

His brain short circuited. He points at your top, “But—THAT’S RED.”

“So?”

That’s when he realizes.

You didn’t know shit about the color-coded event.

His entire face lights up, and lets out the most dramatic sigh of relief. “Wearing red means taken stupid.” He says, flicking your forehead.

It was your turn to get struck by realization now.

No wonder everyone kept asking if you were in a relationship, and no WONDER everyone was wearing different colors for valentines.

Oh you feel fucking stupid.

You then immediately took your phone out, opening an app then searching for your school’s official account page.

You face drops seeing the png file on the very first post that appeared, no wonder why your friend had asked that odd question.

“I—didn’t know…” you muttered, embarrassed about the whole misunderstanding.

Atsumu only chuckled in response, laughing at your misery. “Yer’ killin me ya know that? I though I lost my chance before I even tried.”

You perked up. “You were trying?”

“Obviously.” He grinned.

You smiled warmly, feeling funny about the situation. “Try harder then.”

Atsumu had the brightest grin on his face, he ruffled your hair then gently took the gift from your hands. “Oh I definitely will.”

“P-D-A ALERT” Osamu suddenly shouted from the gym, surprising you and pissing off Atsumu.

“MIND YER OWN BUSINESS!”

WOOOO KINDA SHORT IM SO SORRY GUYS but happy valentines!! and of course I had to celebrate it by writing my all time favorite character😻 hope you guys enjoyed HDJHFODK

💐 >> bouquets for those who don’t feel special enough on this special day <33

[aliwritex]

hii could you make a franco and best friend reader where he's in love with her and flirts with her all the time but she doesn't seem to notice that's he's been trying to make a move on her because he's a flirty with everyone ? i love your writting

hope i did it some justice cause i don’t love this 💀

One would expect Franco to be forward about something like this but the problem was that you were too deep into your friendship when he realized he liked you more than that.

You met through your aunt when she first started managing him. You had just gotten back from a semester in London and Franco was struggling with his English so she asked you to help.

You admit that you had a crush on him right in the beginning but it was probably just because you were sixteen and you got over it pretty quickly and a friendship blossomed.

Now five years later you were watching him in a formula one race, you couldn’t be more proud. And Franco couldn’t be more desperate.

He had been actively hitting on you for about a year, flirty comments, lingering touches, compliments and so much more but he never got the chance – or courage, for that matter – to cross the line.

He was happy to finally see you again after so much time working so when you knocked on the door of his hotel room on friday night he ran to open.

“God I missed you!”

“Fran, put me down!” you giggled as his arms left your waist, placing you on the floor. “Needed a lucky charm, huh?”

“Yeah, definitely. Have a decent flight?”

“Yeah, I slept through the whole thing. But I'm still so tired though, I just came by to tell you good night and I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, good night. And sleep well because you’re leaving with me tomorrow and I'm usually the first there”

The next day was too much for Franco. When you met outside the hotel you were wearing a short floral dress, it flowed around your legs as your hair danced behind your shoulders with the wind. He had never seen you look so perfect and when he moved to hug you, you smelled like flowers.

“Nice dress” he complimented, hand confidently moving to fix your strap and making his fingers brush against your skin.

“Well, I had to get a few new things for the special event. Cute, isn’t it?”

“Very. Come on, your carriage awaits, princess”

Franco helped you into the car, sitting right next to you. You were dying of nerves inside and asked if he still felt that way too. Of course he did, especially since you were there too. He wanted to do well that saturday, wanted to impress you even when he knew that you’d still be proud and happy for him, even if he hit the fucking wall first corner – It didn’t matter, you were proud that he could reach F1.

Because you arrived together, laughing at something, you quickly sparkled curiosity in the fanbase. All you could see in your timelines were pictures of you walking in and people discussing your relationship, the word girlfriend being thrown around a few times.

You decided not to say anything about it because Franco was already upset with his p16 start. But he could tell there was something wrong when you met at the end of the day.

“I’m sorry for your lap, you still did so well” you hugged him.

“It’s fine, I just hope I have pace tomorrow. Try for some points.” you nodded, pulling away from the hug, but he kept his arm around your waist loosely “Is there something wrong? You seemed a bit off today”

“Nothing for you to worry about” you assured, straightening the collar of his jacket that was tucked into his shirt.

“C’mon, something’s bothering you”

“Well, it’s just that, we walked in together this morning and I saw some people online questioning if we were like a couple and some even confirming it I guess. And, you know? Made me a little uncomfortable”

“Oh” his hand dropped from your waist immediately “Shit, I’m sorry- I’ll-“

“You don’t need to apologize, it’s nothing to do with you, really. It’s fine”

But right before bed you saw that he had posted a picture of you two to his story, captioned “I’m so glad to have my best friend attend a race weekend and her first ever formula one race. Te amo 😊❤️”.

On Sunday you figured Franco didn’t need distractions so you tried as much to stay out of his way but little did you know that was just confusing him more. Had he crossed a line? Did those comments really make you uncomfortable? Was the idea of being with him that repulsive?

Of course you still hugged him before the race whispering good luck right to his ear, it made him shiver. He had a decent race, finishing p12, just out of the points but you didn’t manage to catch him after the race so you waited in his room.

“Finally” he sighed, opening the door of his room to find you curled up in a corner, wearing his jacket. “Oh! I was looking for you”

“Guess I wasn’t fast enough to leave the garage, I missed you on the way to the media pen.”

“Suits you”

“It was cold in here.” you explained “I’ll let you change, see you in the car, yeah?”

He nodded as you left the room, catching your aunt by the door and walking with her to one of the tables outside.

“We’re going out for dinner from here, is that okay?”

“Yeah. Is Franco okay? He seemed weird just now, like he was, I don't know, scared to see me?”

She huffed “I knew this was coming, he asked me the same thing about you before the race. But i’m not gonna get involved in whatever you two have, leave me out of it” you lifted your arms in surrender “No, actually, i’m curious. Was it because of his post?”

“What post?”

“The one calling you his best friend or something. Is that why you’re mad?”

“I’m not mad. Why would I be? No, he posted that because I told him I didn’t like that people thought we were dating”

“And what’s so terrible about that?” she put you in the spot.

“Not terrible, it’s just that we’re not” you told her definitively.

“We’re not what? No dinner anymore?” Franco asked, coming behind Maria and resting his hands on her shoulders.

“Something else, Franco. Did you get your things?” he nodded “lets go then” she turned back to you as he walked away “Just go out with him tonight, yeah? He said he was going to a club or something, you should go too”

“I was leaving tonight, I work tomorrow. Are you setting us up?”

“God, you make everything so complicated.” she groaned “Just go, I’ll get you a medical certificate later, okay? Don’t tell your parents”

Franco did invite you out that night, to a club but you had to be quick so car makeup and a quick stop to the hotel to change into something more nightly.

“So they just keep getting shorter?” he asked you by the door of your room where he had been waiting

“Franco!”

“Sorry. ‘T’s just something I've noticed.”

“And why are you noticing my legs so often?” you teased, approaching him till you were standing face to face.

“I don’t know, I- actually I’m sorry, I don’t know why I say that. It clearly made you uncomfortable I- Can I ask you something? Are you ma-“

You shut up his rambling with a quick peck to his lips “I’m not mad at you, Franco. You’ve just been acting all weird after not seeing me for a while and I didn’t want to get in your way today, you were working.”

“Did you just kiss me?” you nodded, biting your lip “Are you gonna do that again?”

“Only if you want to”

He swooped you up closer to him, a hand on your waist and the other on your hair, pulling you into a kiss. His lips met yours softly, calm but still desperate, all the anticipation that was built up inside him fading away.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” he said after you pulled apart “Thought you would never notice”

“I had someone talk some sense into me” you chuckled. “You should thank her later”

[doctor-dusk]

𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

a private session, as he said.

warnings: mutual masturbation, fingering (f receiving), exhibitionism and voyeurism.

word count: 3.4k

part 1, part 2

it took me longer than expected. ngl that i've been feeling a bit discouraged and insecure about my writing lately and i've been putting off posting. anyway, hope you like it :3

you haven't stopped talking for a minute since alex got your phone number. like, for hours, going into the early hours of the morning sometimes. 

you found out he lived a few minutes away from you and was a bartender at a night pub, so eventually he had to be absent when he was on his shift. of course you understood, but you couldn't help but miss talking to him when he was away for too long, especially at night. you found yourself looking at his profile picture, or at the photos he sent you throughout the days. 

obviously, at this point you already had a certain level of intimacy, so he didn't see a problem in sending you some kind of spicy photos, for example, after the shower. oh, these were your favorites. you loved his toned muscles glistening with water, the fluffy towel wrapping around his waist, the marked v line. and of course, you loved seeing the outline of his cock in the towel. 

a was a tuesday night. particularly rainy, the wind was not violent and the news reported that it could last until the next day, but that doesn't bother you. you were reading a book peacefully on your bed when you felt your cell phone vibrate under your pillow.

you fumbled around the bed looking for your cell phone, reaching under your pillow to grab the phone, turning on the screen and smiling when you saw that he had sent you a message.

“hi baby, just got back home.’’ he texted you.

you smiled at the nickname. it was already natural for him to call you that, but you still found yourself giggling about it whenever he called you like that.

“did something happen?” you texted him back. he should be working now, since he had said he had a shift at the pub that night.

“the power went out at the pub because of the rain,” he explained in another message after a while. “guess i'll have to go back tomorrow to make up the hours. yay.” 

you chuckled softly. it wasn't like he didn't like his job, he just found it tiring sometimes.

“what are you going to do now?” you asked him. 

“well, for starters, i’m gonna take a shower and eat something.” he answered, sending another message afterwards. “but first of all take off these clothes. i'm so fucking wet.” 

“hey, that's my line.” you joked, imagining he must have laughed when he read it. and he did.

“cheeky. later i'll make you wetter than i am now, what do you think?” he suggested. you bit your lip.

“i’ll wait for it.’’ you texted back, swaying your legs up and down like a teenager.

“good. i’ll call you in 30 minutes. wear something nice for me, love ;)” 

you thought you were dressed appropriately for him. a cotton cropped shirt and a flared mini skirt. but you thought there's something missing. it wasn't "nice" enough for him.

you opened your closet and drawers, looking for some suggestion. you didn't even know exactly what you were looking for. 

your eyes landed on your underwear drawer, remembering that you had a pair of white knee socks somewhere. you didn't know if he would like them, but knowing him well enough, you could deduce that was worth a try.

you put on the socks, the soft fabric gliding over your legs like a massage, the hem resting right above your knees. you looked at your reflection in the mirror, flexing your leg and bending your knee to see how it looked. then you turned your back, looking over your shoulder to see how it looked from this angle. it wasn't bad. it showed off your legs nicely. he might like it, but if he doesn't, he'll be polite enough to ask you to take it off.

you made sure your door was locked, turning the knob twice as a precaution. once confirmed, you jumped on your bed, grabbing your phone. as if on time, a message from him popped up on your screen.

‘’ready?’’

‘’yep.’’ you texted, settling yourself in bed, lying partially between your pillows, your back resting on the headboard, your knee bent so you could rest your phone on it.

seconds later, a video call popped up on your screen, and you answered it without delay.

oh, as always, he was handsome. unlike you, he was standing, probably walking around his apartment, the position of the camera revealed that he was holding his phone a little too low. and of course, shirtless.

‘’hey love, i- fuck, no, no! wait a minute.’’ he said before you could say anything, leaving his phone in a corner, the camera focusing on the ceiling was all you could see now. you waited for him to come back, listening for some noises and trying to figure out what it was. seconds later, he came back. ‘’sorry, i had to put the neighbor's cat out. the bastard tried to steal my last slice of pizza.’’ 

you laughed at what he said. you expected anything but that. 

‘’how did he tried to steal your pizza?’’ you asked as he was making his way to the bedroom, turning off the lights on the way.

‘’he came in through my kitchen window. can't turn my back for a bloody second.’’ he rolled his eyes, entering his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed. ‘’you look lovely, baby. new necklace?’’ he pointed out. you looked at your chest, the silver necklace resting on your collarbone. you didn't even think he would notice that. but he was very observant, especially when it came to you.

‘’yeah, i bought it yesterday when i went out to shopping with my mom.’’ you answered and he hummed, his mouth was too busy eating a piece of pizza. ‘’although this isn't the necklace i was looking for.’’

‘’which one did you want?’’ he asked, his voice a little muffled as he was finishing the slice of pizza.

‘’your hand.’’ you answered him, causing him to cough almost uncontrollably because he almost choked on the piece of pizza. you would have laughed if you weren't so worried about him. “are you okay? i'm sorry, i-”

‘’no, no, i'm fine. wasn't expecting it, you can't do this to me, jesus.” he laughed after catching his breath, his face was a little red because of it. “you can't have my hand as your necklace if you choke me to death on a piece of pizza.”

“sorry, i didn't know you'd be so surprised.” you chuckled softly, watching him wipe his mouth with a napkin, throwing the paper in the trash.

“you just caught me by surprise, hon. you're not usually this forward.” he said. he was right, sometimes you were a little shy, even though you've done things that say otherwise. “by the way, are you wearing something nice like i asked you to?”

you nodded, adjusting your posture, getting into an angle so he could see your body when you stretched out your arm holding your phone in your hand, giving him a good view. he let out a low whistle, enjoying the view.

“no way, knee socks?” he asked with raised eyebrows as his eyes landed on your legs, making himself comfortable in his bed. it wasn't in a disapproving tone, by the way.

“yeah, did you like it?” you asked a little insecurely.

“hell, a lot.” he licked his lips, taking a look at you. “i have an idea, do you want to know what it is?”

you nodded eagerly. by the tone he spoke, he was certainly going to suggest something for you to do.

“take off your clothes. i want you in nothing but those knee socks. can you do that for me, love?”

the idea made your hair stand on end. you knew that eventually you would undress for him, but you didn't know that you would be so nervous about the idea and that it would be so exciting to be naked for him, wearing only a pair of white knee socks.

“you can take your time, baby. don't worry, i've got all the time in the world for you.” he reassured you, making you even more comfortable with the idea.

“shirt?” you suggested and he hummed in agreement.

“are you wearing a bra?” he asked and you shook your head. “good. i miss those nice tits of yours.”

you giggled, grabbing a pillow and placing it on the middle of the bed, positioning your phone so that it rests on it.

“is the angle okay?” you asked him, sitting with your legs spread on the bed. he could even get a small glimpse of your panties.

“amazing, baby. keep going.” he said. he didn't really care about the angle as long as he could see you and your body on full display for him on his phone screen.

you pulled your crop top up, pulling it over your head. the mere sight of your breasts on the screen made him groan, biting his lip as he palmed himself over his sweatpants, even though you couldn't see it for now.

‘’so beautiful. one day i'm going to suck those tits, mark my words.’’

you smiled at the idea. alex seemed like the kind of hungry man who could devour you if he could. and he really was. he wanted to mark you, to sink his fingers and teeth into your flesh, so that he and everyone else could see that he was the one who did this to you. he wanted to make sure everyday that you were his, that only he could see you like that and make you feel that way. 

you touched your boobs, adding a little more anticipation to the moment, your nipples hardening with the mere stimulation on them, your eyes rarely looking at him on the screen, focused on losing your shyness as you touched your left breast while your right hand went down your belly.

“the skirt too?” you asked him, tracing your index finger along the waistband of your skirt.

“everything.” alex answered, a minimally authoritative tone was noticeable in his voice, but you didn't think it was bad. it turned you on even more.

you shifted in bed, your fingers hooked on the sides of your skirt, slowly pulling it down, letting the material slide down your legs, his eyes watching every move without blinking, as if he would never see something like that again in his life. his hand tightened his grip on his cock, feeling that sooner or later he would have to take it out, such was the pressure inside his boxers.

“you have beautiful legs, love.” he praised you as he drank the sight of your semi naked body, the only thing that kept him from seeing you naked were your panties and knee socks.

“thank you.” you smiled, you liked it when he complimented you, even when it was something simple. you felt desired, in a way.

“you're nervous, aren't you?” he asked. he had never seen you in person and never lived with you physically, but he knew you well enough to know that.

“god, yes. i'm sorry, i've never done that.” you mumbled, closing your legs a bit so you wouldn't feel so exposed.

“that's okay, baby, you're doing so good. take your time.” he said in a reassuring tone, not wanting you to feel insecure or embarrassed around him. “just remember that sooner or later i'm going to see this pretty pussy of yours. and believe me, i'm going to gorge myself on it.”

you chuckled awkwardly, still feeling a bit insecure. he pouted slightly.

“hey, look at me.” he asked you, he couldn't just hold your face and make you look at him, so he expected you to look back at the screen, which is what you did. “don't worry about it. we're just going to have some fun, i want you to enjoy yourself with me, hm?” he spoke calmly and patiently, knowing he needed to be careful with his words.

you smiled, nodding in response to him. he knew how to reassure you, how to make you feel safe. you were in this together, after all.

you tried opening your legs again, your hand running over the fabric of your underwear, testing the waters as he swallowed hard at your actions. you touched your sensitive bud, feeling it contract inside your panties with the touch of your fingertip.

‘’mhm, that’s it. doing so good, love.” he said, his voice almost in a whisper as he stuck his hand inside his sweatpants, squeezing his cock more directly over his boxers, his thumb ghosted over his sensitive tip, leaking precum and staining the fabric of his underwear. 

he felt uncomfortable with this, shifting in bed to get his sweatpants and boxers down, freeing his cock, the angle he was lying at made the tip touch his stomach.

“you're making me hard as fuck.” he moaned in a somewhat anxious way.

“yeah? show me.” you instigated him.

fuck, you didn't even need to ask twice. he angled his phone so you could see his cock, his free hand grabbing it firmly by the base, massaging it deftly, working his way up until he reached the head, pulling back the foreskin so you could see his glistening tip practically taking over your screen.

you leaned against the headboard, supporting your body weight there while your hands were free. one hand hooked your panties, finally pulling to the side, showing him your most intimate area.

“beautiful. just like i imagined.” he bit his lip, watching your fingers firmly grip the fabric of your panties like a real hook while the fingers of your other hand roamed the skin of your crotch, teasing both you and him. “god, i can already imagine myself with my face buried in this pussy all day.”

you giggled, you loved how vocal he was. your index and middle finger wandered through your folds in an inverted 'v' position, sliding up and down your labia, feeling your digits getting wet.

“'wet?”

“so fucking wet.” you answered and he groaned. you also knew how to tease him with words, his dirty thoughts getting the best of him as he saw you touching yourself like this.

“yeah? think i can shove my cock inside you without needing lube?” he asked you, starting to pump his cock faster.

“oh, you have no idea.” you said in a sly tone, moving your hands away from there only to pull the panties down your legs, discarding them on the bed among the sheets. and you were just the way he asked, completely naked, except for the knee socks. oh, that made his cock throb.

“god, you're so fucking hot.” he hissed, pumping faster, his fist closed so tightly that his tip was getting redder and the veins were getting more visible. “touch yourself for me, love. please.”

you brought your index and middle fingers to your mouth, thinking about it. please. he never asked you “please”, not that you remember. he always asked, in a polite but authoritative tone, sounding like a gentle order. but never added the word please. 

it sounded like he's begging you. and you liked it.

“please?” you repeated the word, wetting your fingers, bringing them down to your sensitive bud that was aching to be touched.

“fucking please…” he said in a desperate growl, his eyes fixed on your body as you tesed him furter, circling your fingers on your clit, the contact making you hiss. “feels good?”

“mhmm, so good…” you hummed, circling your fingers counterclockwise, the way you always did when you pleased yourself alone in that bed in your room. “i wish you were touching me right now.”

“don't say that to me or i might come out in the rain and climb in through your bedroom window just to fuck you.” he panted, making you imagine the scene, a small whimper leaving your lips.

“yeah? would you fuck me good?” you asked, moving your fingers down, teasing your wet and slick entrance, your fingertips sliding in with ease.

“so good, baby. would you like it hard and deep?" he asked you, feeling the pleasure starting to get the best of him, he tried to hold on as much as he could.

you nodded eagerly, sliding two fingers inside your tight heat. he watched as you buried your own fingers inside your cunt until reached your knuckles, withdrawing them just to repeat the motion. nothing had ever turned him on as much as this. he felt like a teenager watching porn for the first time, but it was a thousand times better. it was real, and it was for him. only for him.

“so be it. gonna fuck you good, baby. the way you deserve it.” 

his words entered your mind like a virus, your eyes squeezed shut as your fingers went back and forth, coating them with your arousal. you couldn't help but vividly imagine him fucking you hard, his hips snapping against yours, his cock filling you to the brim as he squeezed your neck, calling you his little slut who takes his cock so fucking well.

“oh my god, please…” you whimpered breathlessly, your legs starting to tremble involuntarily, your head tilting to the side.

“are you going to come for me, love? you're so close, i can see it.” he hummed, watching you nodding, his fist was hurting, but he didn't want to stop, not when he was so close too.

“yes, yes, oh alex…” you moaned his name, making him grunt in response, his breath ragged and his body trembled, he could barely concentrate on holding the phone anymore, even though he doesn't want to miss a single second of you fingering yourself, chasing your climax.

“fuck, i can't hold back…” he almost whined, and you let out a satisfied smile, so close that you're already seeing stars.

“yes, fuck me, alex…” you moaned, and that was the last straw for him. he moaned loudly, his head falling back into the pillow as he came, making a mess of his own belly and chest, but he didn't stop, even though his senses were overwhelmed at this point.

as you watched him fucking his own fist through his orgasm and heard his whimpers, you followed him suit, cumming on your fingers, your free hand covered your mouth so you wouldn't moan loudly as the climax hit you, your trembling legs closed automatically around your hand as your fingers pumped and curled inside you to prolong your pleasure.

in the seconds that followed, all that could be heard besides the sound of the rain outside were the panting breaths as the bodies lay completely exhausted on the respective beds. it was so intense, you couldn't remember the last time you had an orgasm that good, especially when you were touching yourself.

after a few seconds, he broke the silence.

“still there?” he asked. you gave him thumbs up and he chuckled. you needed a few more seconds to recover.

“yeah, yeah…” you mumbled, taking a deep breath through your nose and letting it out through your mouth. then, you lifted your head, looking at him. he was as broken as you were.

“it just gets better, princess. you're amazing, really.” he said. and he was sincere, you could see it. or at least he gave you enough confidence to make you think that.

“you're amazing too. you must be even better in person.” you answered him next. it was like you were having pillow talk after sex. the difference is you hadn't had sex. not yet.

“well, baby, i'll try to impress you. i have to win you over every day.” he chuckled, groaning as he saw his own mess, knowing he would have to clean himself up. “hate this part.” 

“i wish i could lick you clean.” you pouted and he pouted too, chuckling at your boldness.

“you always get feisty after having your orgasm, huh?” he questioned and you giggled, picking up your panties to put them back on carefully, your legs felt like jelly. 

“only with you.” you winked at him, licking your fingers as he sighed at the sight of you. he was quiet for a while, just looking at you, his mind working in different ways. “what?”

“i want to see you.” he answered after a few seconds of silence.

“you’re seeing me already.” you chuckled and he shook his head after letting out a weak laugh.

“no, i want to really see you. to meet you in person.” 

oh. now that was another level.

[roseykat]

KINKTOBER DAY 2 - CHANGBIN

Title: These hands were made for you

PAIRING: Changbin x reader

SUMMARY: Changbin agrees for you to give him a massage to relieve some of his back pain, but isn’t prepared for the physical reaction he has to your touch. For context, the reader is part of the management team!

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with these posts so please do not engage with my work and page whatsoever. 

TAGS: hands-free orgasm, massages, swearing, hint of body worshipping if you squint.

KINK: erotic massage

KINKTOBER - MASTERLIST

Thinking Changbin was awake happened to be a mistaken thought, especially after you had been standing at the door of his hotel room for the past few minutes, knocking at it. Even calling and texting him didn’t help. In saying that, it was late and you had to give him the benefit of the doubt; he had played a show not too long ago, had been complaining of muscle pain, and was most likely really tired. 

But so were you.

Having waited over an hour at the airport trying to track some of Changbin’s lost luggage during their performance. A while after that, both of his items had been located and it was your task to return them to him. 

For a few spare seconds, you thought it would be wise to just wait until the morning since you were convinced that he was asleep. But it wasn’t until you heard some rustling and footsteps behind the door right before it opened.

“Oh,” Changbin rubs his drowsy eyes. “Sorry, I swear I was up and then I closed my eyes and drifted off.” 

It was easy to tell by his bed hair, the way that his natural curls were starting to peek through, “no it’s okay, you must be tired.”

“You have no idea,” he replies and looks at both bags of his luggage that you had been rolling with you since you got back. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Where were they?”

He takes one off of you while you roll the other one into his room, “they were at a different luggage pick-up. But we already rang the airport to say that they were missing and then it took them an hour to track them. Anyway, did you go to see the physio in the meantime?"

About a few hours ago after the concert had finished, Changbin was complaining about how sore he was after the gym. It’s common for him to feel that way since he practically lives in that space. Only this time around, he might’ve pushed himself a bit too hard - that and during the concert. 

“Nah,” he brushes it off as the door closes behind you both. “I can’t see any of them until tomorrow.” 

“Do you think you’re injured maybe?” You ask concernedly. 

Changbin huffs, “I’m not injured! I’m only sore and my muscles hurt like hell. Plus I always warmup and cool down properly.” 

“Okay then, where are you sore?” You question again. 

“Mainly my back,” he answers and goes to sit down on the edge of the bed. 

“Upper or lower?” 

“My upper,” Changbin confirms and tilts his head, looking at you. “I didn’t realise you were so concerned about me.” 

Your eyes narrow at him, “not in the way that you might think.”

“Sure, sure,” he chuckles lightheartedly. “Anyway, if you’re going to ask me so many questions about my injury, you wouldn’t happen to be a physiotherapist right?” 

“So you are injured.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he corrects. “I'm just sore, and I need a good night's sleep.” 

“Well, if you want me to I suppose,” you say, ignoring his tone of voice. 

“Wait...” He asks in disbelief. “Really?” 

“I did a year in physio at college so I know a few things,” you answer, placing your own bag on the lowered counter where luggage is usually stored in the room. “I’m not a licensed one though.”

Changbin ponders; he has no way of getting in to see their physio at this point in time. Even just a massage would be some relief to him. 

Whilst you aren’t professional in either of those fields, you didn’t study it for nothing. You know the functions of the body and muscles inside out. You know what happens to them when they’re under stress, torn, or strained. But also the remedies which can help repair them. 

“Okay then, if you’re able to,” Changbin agrees. “Where do you want me?”

“The bed, so take your shirt off and lie on your stomach,” you instruct. 

Changbin side-eyes you, “a date would be nice first,” he says even though he’s taking his shirt off in a rush.

You roll your eyes and take a small kit out of your bag. It’s stocked with the essentials; plasters, KT tape, scissors, cold spray - usually for Minho if his shoulder is playing up - nail clippers, all of which you have just in case.

These boys are constantly on the go and are prone to getting injured. So even though it’s not your job, you still keep things handy when there aren’t any left. But also because they end up asking you anyway whenever you're around. Spontaneous massages aren’t on that list though, but there's always a first for everything.

By that point, Changbin had stripped himself of his t-shirt, placed it to his side and lay face down on the bed. There were a couple of silent seconds of you preparing what you needed but also admiring Changbin’s body. 

His back and shoulders are broad but especially taut, you’ve seen them before when he walks around the dressing room with his top half stripped of any fabric. But you’ve never seen nor felt it - not that you would in that type of way. 

In saying that, you start by taking the small tub of deep heat, unscrewing the cap, and scooping some of the product onto your hand and setting the tub aside. Your first point of contact with Changbin’s back makes him jolt. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, turning his head on the pillow.

“It’s fine. I’m gonna start now okay?” 

“Got it,” he says. 

You dollop a little bit more of the deep heat onto Changbin before spreading it and working it in until his skin absorbs it. He’s smooth to the touch. Your hands glide over every glorious muscle.

It doesn’t really sink in that you’re doing this until Changbin hums, sounding like he’s in relief. Within a few moments, he feels like his back is pressed up against a heater. His skin is hot and burning slightly, but that’s the whole purpose of the deep heat. It’s to soften the bunched muscles in his back, making it easier to knead and roll them out like dough.

However, given the state this part of his body is in, you can already make an observation on how tense his muscles are under your hands. 

“You’re tight,” you feel as he rubs into a spot just above his right shoulder blade. “When did you say was the last time you went to physio?”

Changbin’s face flushes, he can feel the heat rising to his cheeks as if you put the deep heat on his face. 

“I-I didn’t,” he responds, trying to relax. “But I haven’t been at all so far.”

You pause, “we have three physios and a sports massage therapist for a reason. You can’t tell me that you haven’t been to see one of them so far.”

“Some of the others are seeing them shortly and I didn’t wanna wait that long,” he argues. You use the thumb and the pad of your index finger to dig and narrowly drag down Changbin’s spine, making him contort to the left slightly.

“I’ve still been able to take care of myself after shows and whatnot. Ice baths and stuff like that, so I haven’t had any injuries so far," he adds.

“You don’t just take ice baths though, do you?” You ask, digging for more information to see if he really has been taking care of himself. 

“Yeah, cold showers too,” he adds to his list. 

“Heat is also good for your muscles, you know that right?”

“Not as good as cold techniques,” he says. “Right?” 

“Depends on when you need it,” You point out. “You're a gym rat. I thought you already knew all of this information about taking care of your body-"

“Ah-” 

Your hands still for a second from his reaction, “hurts?” 

Changbin nods before his eyes flash open when you press your thumb deeper into the same spot. He lets out a yelp, his arms coming up to the sides of his shoulders, getting ready to prop himself up. 

“Yeah - yes, that really hurts, fuck,” he groans. 

“If it hurts, it’s working,” you use the flat of your hand to push Changbin back down into the mattress. 

“That’s a very outdated saying,” he strains, trying to absorb the soreness before it eventually becomes bearable. 

It takes him a few moments to melt against your touch now that his back is slightly more relaxed and warmed up. He’s now more susceptible to sensitivity which for him, heightens your contact on him. He doesn’t exactly know why it feels good - strangely good. But Changbin doesn’t complain. 

“Y/N…” he breathes out involunintarily.

You freeze on the spot, wondering if your ears deceived you for a second. Surely Changbin didn’t just moan out your name. All you’re doing is unravelling knots in his back. But even so, you were curious for a split second and when curiosity takes shape, there’s nothing you can do about it. So to test your theory, you take a little bit more deep heat, rubbing it between your fingers and massaging it slowly over the area. 

Changbin’s hands grip the sheets in response. He can’t control any of his reactions to the way your hands smooth over his back, or when the heel of your palm digs and drags nicely down his back. He doesn’t even want to think about where else good he feels.

“How does it feel now?” You test. 

His response is a strange, high pitched hum, but he does give a small nod. You try not to smirk even though it’s not like he’s able to see it. 

“I’m sorry,” Changbin swallows, almost panting. “It's just...you touching me.”

“Do you want me to stop?” You ask him.

“No!” he exclaims too quickly. “I mean, only if you want to. I’m okay with it, just…tender.” 

You’re thankful that Changbin can’t see you blushing with embarrassment. You don’t know why you reacted that way but the more you massage his back, the more you forget about the moment. Changbin on the other hand begins to panic when he recognises that he’s actually horny. 

Over the minutes gone by, his cock starts slowly filling out between his legs. It’s an awkward position to be hard and lie down at the same time. Either way, nothing is stopping it from happening and certainly not your hands. The heat, the cream, your touch, the wet, sticky sounds that it’s making, makes him think things that have crossed the border of ‘appropriate’. 

“Are you okay? You seem like you’re struggling a bit,” you witness his shoulder blades start to cinch together.

“Fine,” Changbin turns his face into the pillow. “It’s sore but…it feels good.”

You look down at his hands and see him gripping the sheets again. From any physiotherapist’s point of view, Changbin might just be expressing that this hurts. That you’re really relieving the stress and tension built up in his back. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he mumbles. 

But from your point of view, you can tell that he’s actually enjoying this more than he should be. You mentally scold yourself for jumping to that conclusion, because in what world does someone get off from having their back rubbed? It might be this world because when you realise that Changbin is making small, almost unnoticeable thrusts with his hips, he can’t help but want to speak his mind.

Usually, massages, erotic ones at least, are accompanied by other forms of actions, at least that's what you thought before Changbin started to become visibly flustered

“Changbin,” you say as he takes his tone as a warning.

His eyes flash open, knowing what he’s just done, what he couldn’t help but do, “fuck. S-Sorry, I didn’t expect…”

Didn’t expect what? Changbin doesn’t even know what the rest of his unfinished question means and he obviously doesn’t know the answer. Flustered as hell, he cannot seem to rack his brain for a lie. Even if he did, you would be able to see right through it. 

“Again, it’s just someone touching me...” he mutters aloud what he's feeling.

You pause, “are you sure you don't want me to stop? If not, I’d like to get these last few knots out of your back.”

Changbin knows that this situation could go one of three ways. If he lets you continue to massage him, he will definitely cum. The bonus there is that his back will feel better and also his dick.

But if he asks you to stop, it'll be awkward as hell having to deal with the fact that he’s fully hard. The downside is that there are still knots in his back, and he won’t get to sleep, which ultimately means he'll be in a terrible mood.

The other way is that there is an unlikely small chance that he won't cum. His body might be overly excited right now, but it could pass. There's a 99% chance that he might have time to get soft. But with the way that you're both going, he knows it probably won't happen.

“I…I don’t know,” Changbin replies, clearly confused. ���It’s been a while since…someone touched me-“

“That’s okay,” you dismiss his babbling. “It’s not unusual.”

He swallows, bewildered, “it’s not?”

“No,” you assure him. 

At this point, you would stop but for some...fucked up reason, you want to keep going. You really want to see how this ends. You’ve never been someone who half asses things, so how is this any different? Plus it’s technically your fault after making Changbin unintentionally horny. At least that’s the state he’s currently in to your knowledge. 

But you’re okay with that if he is. 

“Wanting contact with other human beings isn’t abnormal Binnie. You’re obviously just a bit touch-deprived.”

“T-That’s a thing?” He asks, turning his head to try and look at you. But you smooth your palm up his spine, massaging into the divots until he reaches the base of his neck so that he can relax and not focus so much on you. 

“There’s this theory that we all need human contact. Not sexually per se, but mundane things like hugs, holding hands and all that,” you start explaining. 

“I guess that makes sense,” Changbin responds, then tries to suppress a grunt when you start gliding lower to his tailbone again.

You’re working the area just under his shoulder blade which at the moment seems to be the most sensitive. That and his dick - indirectly. Changbin is too embarrassed to think about the fact that you can read him far too easily. Either that or he’s just being extremely obvious, which he is. 

“Even just social interaction at times. Studies show that there’s a link between loneliness and touch deprivation,” you add.

He can’t even believe he’s having this conversation with you. At the very most, he can’t believe that your hands are on him and making him feel certain things that are beyond his control. 

“R-Really?” Changbin jolts when you begin kneading his back again, like every cell in his body is on edge. 

“With these interactions, it can release a neurochemical in the brain called oxytocin which is responsible for good feelings…”

Neurochemical...oxytocin….Changbin appreciates the science talk and in fact, it’s strangely hot to hear it come out of your mouth. But he cannot focus on what he’s saying at all, because his dick is achingly hard and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“Fuck…” Changbin swallows harshly. “Touch me, please.”

“I believe I am touching you,” you respond coldly. 

He doesn’t even know if your words were teasing or not. He just wants to relieve the throbbing ache in his dick when all he can do is make small thrusting movements. It’s not until you use the pads of his thumbs to press into a few points in his tailbone. It feels good in terms of the pain he had in his back, but now he can’t thrust against the mattress anymore. Not yet at least. 

Changbin whines when you slowly release the pressure of his touch.

“You have a nice back,” you comment, then gently scratch down it with your fingernails, not enough to hurt him, but it definitely makes the deep heat feel hotter. 

“Oh my god m’gonna cum,” Changbin exclaims out in a choked, rushed voice. His words instantly confirm your thoughts, so you continue to slowly rub down his back to his tailbone again. “Please..."

“It’s okay, you can come,” with the heel of your palm once more, you knead just under his shoulder blade, enough to make Changbin keen to the side. 

His eyes snap shut before he’s dipped into pleasure. He goes silent for a few seconds, still making tiny movements, almost as if he were trying to fuck someone into the mattress. For him, it’s an odd sensation because his cock had been completely untouched and neglected. 

Breathing heavily, Changbin slowly opens his eyes when the realisation dawns on him. He spends the first ten seconds of his comedown trying to figure out where he is. Your soothing hands slowly and gently rubbing up his back reorients him. The heat that the cream provided is now turning into a cooling sensation, added in with your touch. It feels good, and even better now that his muscles are at ease. 

“Feel better?”

“H-Heaps,” he swallows, now feeling like someone tipped a bucket of ice water on top of his head.  

“Good,” you smile to yourself, content with that outcome. “You should probably clean yourself up then.” 

-

A/N: thank you everyone for your patience. The last half of this week was so busy for me, so I’m back writing and catching up the works x

TAGLIST: @kbitties @luneskies @mal-lunar-28 @kibs-and-bits @aaasia111 @fairy-lixie @dreamingaboutjisung @lizzekat 🩷🩷🩷 (if I’ve forgotten anyone again, please let me know 🙃)

[ubesam]

DOGDAY X READER

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Note from Author: Well, I made this At 4:00 Am early in the morning. And also, you're a female y/n and I'm tired of calling them/they/blah blah.

I'm still figuring out how to colour my texts, so you guys are stuck with non colour ones, yay...

Just a quick reminder that I barely post like tomorrow or next week, it depends if I get busy at school. Welp, that's all. Enjoy the story, and I might make it longer by time. ENJOY MY LITTLE LEGO STARS!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Well, that's the end of the tour!"

"Thanks, dogday. I was expecting that the other employees would be the ones to give me a tour... But, I guess they were busy." Nope. They weren't busy. They were lazy. "Oh, hahaha! Well, I get that a lot too, angel." He laughs and then you hear him calling you an angel again.. strange, nobody called you that. "Um, can I ask a question?" "Hm? Sure!" You were getting embarrassed of the question but you pulled it off. "Why do you.. keep calling me angel? I mean I have a name." Dogday was quiet for a moment, you felt awkward for asking that question and you can barely feel your face getting warm from the embarrassment. "You know what! Never mind... Haha..." Dogday laughs seeing you getting all nervous. "No need to be nervous, besides. The reason I called you angel, is because i- uh- like calling you that. Yeah!" Awkward. Y/N looks around to find a change of subject. The only thing that comes to her mind is the statues of the smiling critters. "Oh, Uh.. can you tell me more about yourself.. and the other smiling critters?"

Dogday's tail wags a little from excitement. "Well, I don't mind! As you heard from Tiffany. I'm dogday! The leader of the smiling critters! And you probably can meet the others and they might introduce themselves properly to you!" Dogday was very cheerful about it as you can tell by his tail wagging. "Okay! I'm y/n and I'm 22 years old, my favourite colour is red. And I love to eat cookies!" Dogday smiled at you. "Well, the introduction has been confirmed to both of us. And also, you have to keep your eyes with the others to see no one is getting any Problems." You nodded as he began to point at your office.

"Okay, keep a watch at the others and do my job. Got it!" Dogday smiled as he patted your head.

"I know you can do it, angel!" You felt a flutter in your heart.. what.. what is this feeling? Am I sick?

(Girl you stupid).

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––It's been a week since you started working there. You met three smiling critters along the way, craftycorn, picky piggy, and hoppy hopscotch. The others are you haven't quite met yet. Day by day, the children loved how caring and loving you are, they even started to call you mama. You're not used to it but you tried. Dogday got even close to you, every time he gets a chance he would come and hang out with you. (Ah, young love. 🤭)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––After you arrive in playcare at 5:00 Am, since you woke up Prettyyy early in the morning. You went to your office and sat down, you stretched your body and yawned. "Man... I woke up so early I couldn't even go back to sleep... I want some coffee now.." you groan and sighed. And then you noticed a clipboard on your side of the desk, you picked it up and read it. Your first task was to give the smiling critters baths, your second task was to wake the children up and the others are for later. "Hm... A bath- oh. Dogs hates water... The others might enjoy but for catnap... Ugh... This is going to a lot more harder..." You groan as you rubbed your face with both of your hands. And then you thought for a second.. then realised that you might meet the other critters. "I should probably get started.. since it's 5:26 am.." you got up from your chair and started to walk to where the smiling critters are sleeping. You felt kinda nervous tho, you don't like disturbing people from their sleep. At their room of where they sleep, you noticed below the door that the lights are turned on. You knocked on the door 3 times but no answers, strange you knock again but 6 times, yet no answers.. you open the door a little and take a peek, then.. someone pulled you in to make and it made you caught off guard. "Oof!" You landed on the floor and immediately got up. "Holy mother of cookies from heaven. I almost got a heart attack." You look up, and saw all of the smiling critters except for catnap. Dogday was in front. "Angel?" "Okay, why on earth did you pull me and almost give me a heart attack?" The other smiling critters chuckles and laughs a little. "S-sorry angel.. we thought you were some sort of a bad guy.." You sighed looking up at him. "You did hear me knocking 3 to 6 times, right? You know what, never mind.. come on now all of you.. I have to give each of you all a bath.." Dogday flinched and started to back away. "U-um dogday?" The craftycorn was confused seeing dogday backing away. "Hm? What's wrong dogday?" "I... I don't like baths..." Dogday claims himself scared of baths. And kickin chickin starts to laughs. "Don't be such a coward, dogday! It ain't gonna be that bad!" As kickin keeps laughing bobby bearhug pinched kickin. "Ow! Ow! BB! Stop!" "Stop being such a bully to dogday, kickin." You sighed and went over to dogday. "Dogday, what's wrong? You can tell me, and I'll try a way to make you feel less scared." Dogday thought about it for a moment. Before dogday was the one who was going to speak, picky piggy was the one who speaks first. "It's probably because of how the other employees bathe us..." She said, you tilted my head from confused as bubba bubbaphant came in front to tell the other details. "Well, they put us in a cage... And just spray water on us like were some kind of a... Animal..." (*LE GASP* HOW DARE THEY>:0)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

After knowing and understanding the situation, I sighed and walked over to hoppy. "Do you have a pillow that I can borrow?" Hoppy was confused but she gave you a pillow, you took the pillow and shoved it to your face and screamed in anger making the other smiling critters confused.. you were done screaming your anger out and gave back the pillow. "Ahem. I'm fine, I'm not mad at your situation. I am mad at those employees for treating you all like some animals.." the smiling critters were surprised about that including dogday. "You guys deserved better than being an animal in a cage... I can even relate how that feels..." Craftycorn then asked. "What do you mean... By that?" You stayed quiet... Staring at the floor... "It's... Nothing... We should probably get you all some baths before the playcare opens..." The smiling critters can feel that something is wrong but they didn't want to ask and just nodded. (Time skips in the bathroom) At the bathroom you told the smiling critters to take off their pendants and put them somewhere, and you also told them that dogday will be last. The smiling critters understand and follow your orders. During giving a bath from each smiling critter you ask them how their day was, it was awkward at first but they eventually told you. There laughing and chuckling curing gave them each a bath, it took 20 minutes or more. After the others are down with baths and drying, dogday was the last. He took a peek at the door, while you were busy getting the giant tub ready for him. He was hesitant but what he had heard from the others, by saying she's kind,caring, and loving it made him feel confident to trust you. "Dogday! You can come in now." Dogday slowly walked in and sat in the tub. You started to spray water on him it took 3 minutes to get him wet. (Just like my dog) you then put vanilla shampoo on him and started to scrub with a big brush. "So, dogday.. since we have known each other for a week now, tell me... How was your day." "It.. was fun.. you get to play with children seeing them laugh together and chasing each other and seeing them enjoy themselves." I smiled giving him a scratch on his head. "You're such a good boy, dogday. You really are." Dogday's tail wags happily. After 30 minutes of laughter and giving a bath to dogday, it's finally time to dry him up with a blow dryer. "You're such a good boy, dogday! You look more handsome and cute!" Dogday blushes slightly and wags his tail. "Thank you, angel."

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

After getting all the smiling critters except for catnap a bath. It was time for the playcare to open up. But, you have been thinking... Where is catnap?

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

PART 3?

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Note from Author: Well... In part 3 I might put the dark backstory of Y/N, for fun of course. But also, if your wondering Is dogday in this story a human version of him or is dogday in this story is in his original version? It depends on you and your imagination. And also! I recommend seeing @sinnersweets Stories! They are very heart beating Stories (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Well, see you in part 3! Toodles my Little Lego star devils! (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

(This is kinda short..)

[inmyminditsreal]

Lego Is Life

Fem!reader x Spencer reid

Word count: 700 ish

Summary: Woken up by a very eager 8 year old daughter, Spencer and I crawl out of bed and indulge in Lego like true adults.

Warnings: sweetnessss

I'm supa tired so if this is rusty IM SORRRY!! also sorry i haven't posted in like 30 years. been tired and focused on school!! Hope you enjoy

Enjoyyyy!!!!

Spencer had just finished a case and as soon as he got home, he almost fell asleep while hugging me. I told him we should just go to bed, he agreed. So now we’re crawling into bed, finally able to get some sleep. Though, with an eight year-old daughter it’s very hard. Most nights we're woken up by bad dreams, the monster under the bed, that she puked, or that she wants to cuddle. We eventually both drift off to sleep, holding each other close. Until,

“Daddy! Come look at this!” Our daughter says as she bursts open the door. With a loud groan followed by a smile, Spencer crawls out of bed, picks her up and says,

“Where to sweetheart?"

“My bedroom!” She says with a stifled giggle. Curious as to what this mystery was, I crawl out of bed too and begin to follow them. I check my phone to see a whopping 1:37am. In the bedroom I see that Kasey has just finished building her Lego friends set.

“Awww that’s awesome sweetie.” I smile from the doorway with a yawn, and see Spencer give her a big high-five.

“I love it. Which one is this?” Spencer asks.

“This is the best waterpark ever. I call it Kasey’s Kool Slides, but cool with a k. It has all the cool characters and I can make them fight each other! It says you can add water to it! Can I?” 

“As long as you do in the living room, where there’s no carpet.” I add with a smile.

“So! Wanna play?” She zaps while looking at us with the biggest grin I've ever seen. 

We both look at each other with tired eyes and smile. “Absolutely.”

“YES! Okay so this is Emma, she’s my favourite and she likes Mia, Autumn, and Stephanie. But the other girls are their enemies! They’re the mean girls at their school.”

“Are they mean enough to give a tickle attack?” Spencer laughs as he throws her on the bed and tickles her into a fit of giggles. 

“Stop!!! Let's go to the living room and fill it with water!” She giggles as she escapes from his arms and runs down the stairs. 

“Are you sure you’re not too tired honey?” I ask Spencer, seeing his giant eyebags. 

“Of course. How could I miss out on this waterpark drama.”

I smile as he picks up the Lego set and walks down the stairs. Kasey has already cleared a big spot on the living room floor and filled a cup with water. “Are you ready?” She asks us both.

“Mhm.” I say, as we sit down by her and watch as she pours the water in with a giant smile. I watch as Spencer takes one of the characters and begins to fight with the one in her hand. She gasps and pushes his down the slide. Both of them, smiling like idiots. I join in  and they eventually tire eachother out. She collapses on top of Spencer, who has already fallen asleep on my lap. I snap a picture and gently wake him up,

“Spence, wake up its 3 in the morning. Honey, wake up.” I whisper while gently shaking his shoulder. His eyelids shutter and he looks up at me.

“Hi beautiful.” He smiles and shuffles his position.

“Don’t move!” I whisper-shout while pointing towards Kasey. He slips her into his arms, we both walk up as I pick up the lego set. In her room he sets her down on the bed and pulls the covers up slowly. She opens her eyes and smiles at us. 

“Goodnight mommy. Goodnight daddy. Can we play more tomorrow?” 

“I’ll see what I can do about that sweetheart. I love you.”  He says as he places a soft kiss on her forehead, and I do the same.

“I love you so so soooo much sweetie. Goodnight.” I whisper.

“I love you too.” She mumbles as she snuggles into her blankets. We turn out the lights and quietly shut the door. 

“She’s so cute, oh my god.” I mumble as we walk back to the room.

“So cute.” he says with a sleepy smile. I show him the picture I took of the two of them sleeping. He smiles and whispers softly,

“I love you so much.” While looking down at me. He collapses into the bed and I follow right after, crawling into his arms and drifting softly asleep.

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 2 Subtitle Corrections

Subtitle Corrections: Ep 1 here

Cultural/Language Tidbits: Ep 2 here

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks to everyone reading the first post and geeking out with me in the notes, I really appreciate it XD Ok, Ep 2, let's go! Sorry in advance for the length!

If you're wondering why Yoh's freaking out about the rainy season even though they've been together for 3 years, the manga artist posted a clarification on twitter:

By the way, “it’s been 3 years since then” – that phrase refers to it being 3 years since that conversation regarding the slave contract. As for living together, they’ve only just started (to do so) around Mar/April*, so (at this point) it’s only been a few months (for them). What if (I) got it wrong…. I remember making a note of it, but the file that I wrote it in and passed over (to the crew) couldn’t be found right, so… (was it) a dream?” *Japan's rainy season comes around June/July, so this means that this is the first rainy season these two have been experienced together.

[Y: まずっ] Y: Tastes bad In case the original "that sucks" sounds like Yoh might be talking about the news of the young forecaster - he's really just talking about the food here.

[S: 遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう] Original: I told you not to bother since I returned late Mine: I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right? This is actually a pretty harsh sounding line tbh. It's sort of inkeeping with Segasaki's curtness, but still pretty harsh - so this tells us he's tired after a long day, and explains the frown on his face that Yoh just wipes away with his cuteness

Nikujaga literally means meat and potatoes. It's a stewed dish and a very well-loved comfort food. Super easy to make too (link goes to an easy to follow recipe, and the site also explains a little about the dish).

[Y: 本当、顔だけはいいよな] Y: Really, it's only his face that looks good.

I've talked about this in my cultural/language tidbits for this episode (linked up top) but I'll add it here for completion's sake

[Y: あ、いや。なんでもない…です*] (Ah, iya, nandemonai…desu*) Y: Ah, no, it's….nothing* Yoh let's his sentence trail off before tacking on a "desu" at the end. "Desu" is an ending verb characteristic of "polite" speech, which Yoh doesn't use frequently with Segasaki (in fact, by this point, he has not used polite speech with Segasaki at all, except for maybe saying the full form of the word "welcome home", and even that's pushing it). Here he adds it at the end as an afterthought (the polite form of "iya" would be "iie", if he had wanted the whole sentence to be polite from the get go), which tells us that Yoh's feeling a little off-kilter here, and does introduce the slightest distance between him and Segasaki. We'll see this distance increase as the episode goes on.

[Y: いや、どう考えても食べ過ぎだろう] Y: No but, no matter which way you look at it, (he's) eaten way too much hasn't he? Btw, if your hair started standing at the spoon scraping the pot - in the manga artist's post about visiting the shooting venue (as well as during Ep 1 twitter space) it was mentioned that Mashiko, the actor, can actually cook, so during filming they had to tell him what someone who can't would likely do, and also asked him to do the housework poorly (because Yoh's not supposed to be good at cooking or housework hahaha)

この人*、明日も朝早いんだよな。たぶん。 Original: This guy, has an early morning again tomorrow. Probably. Mine: This person*, has (to leave) early tomorrow morning too. Probably. *The word here is "kono hito", literally "this person". There's actually nothing wrong with the translation "this guy" tbh because that's a fairly neutral term in English, but I'm highlighting it here because in his monologues, Yoh usually refers to Segasaki using much rougher language, such as "koitsu, aitsu", except when he addresses Segasaki directly in his head. I'll talk more about how Yoh addresses Segasaki in the analysis post, but for now - this sentence hints that Yoh has clocked Segasaki's tiredness (subconsciously or not) and is feeling a little bad for him. Then again he quickly hides that by adding on "probably". (Adding the word "probably" behind your sentence is a common way to express doubt/negate what you just said, and incidentally is commonly used by comedians to deliver a punchline).

[Y: あの*…あの…寝るなら部屋でとおもって。] Original: Um… Hey… You should go back to your room. Mine: Um*... Um... if you're going to sleep then, (it would be better to sleep) in your room - at least that's what I thought...

*"あの…" (ano…), translated as "um" here, is a common sound you use when you want to get someone's attention but don't want to sound too demanding - it actually isn't being polite per se, but it does show the hesitancy with which Yoh approaches him. Contrast this with the way Segasaki gets Yoh's attention (so far it's just been "Yoh" or "Oi" - the latter of which you would NOT use unless you were close to the person, or looking for a fight).

As a general rule of thumb, the level of politeness in Japanese is directly correlated with the length of the sentence and just how far you can beat around the bush. So, Yoh's suggestion that Segasaki goes to sleep in his room is literally just "if sleeping, then room..." and everything else in that translation is assumed. He may not being using polite speech forms here (that would be "to omoimashita" instead of "to omotte") but this is still a common way to be polite because he's making a suggestion that is so mild Segasaki can choose to ignore it. This is a great example of Brown & Levinson's "negative politeness" which we'll revisit when analysing their speech patterns, and which you can read about in entirely too much detail here (free to read).

[Y: じゅあ、俺は寝るので** あの、その、そういうことで、おやすみ] Original: Then, I’ll go to sleep. That…sort of thing. Good night. Mine: So then, I'm going to bed, therefore**... Um... that... with that... night!

"Therefore" is an awkward translation for the word ので (node), which is more often translated as "so". I've chosen to use that word because "node", whilst again not a polite form per se, is less colloquial than the more commonly used "から(kara)", to mean the same thing. It tends to pop up more in writing than in speech. "Therefore" doesn't make a sentence polite/formal in English, but it's definitely less colloquial than using the word "so". The use of "node" is just that tiny bit out of place in this sentence paired with the informal pronoun "ore" for "I" as opposed to the more formal choice of "boku".

Again, Yoh answers Segasaki properly here with a "はい (hai)" as opposed to his usual "un" (which is a sound that expresses agreement), when told that Segasaki will be late again. There actually aren't very many moments where Yoh does speak politely to Segasaki (he's definitely rude when he talks about Segasaki in his head hahaha), so these moments stand out. This whole short exchange, together with the random -desu he added earlier, just make Yoh's sentences a little more stilted/awkward, and more distant. Individually they don't deserve much mention at all, but together, and in the context of his jealousy, show just how unsure Yoh is about where he stands with Segasaki.

[Y: あの人の帰宅が遅くなり] Y: That person returned home later and later

"That person" - similar to the above usage of "this person". This sentence is incomplete - the verb form of the last word - 遅くなり (osokunari) indicates that there should be a second part to the sentence (the "completed" form would be osokunatta). But after he says this, there is a pregnant pause, as Yoh puts his phone down and continues cooking alone. The pause continues all the way into the next scene, before the sentence continues, highlighting the loneliness that Yoh feels.

[Y: 当然、触れられることもないままに] Original: Of course, he did not touch me at all Mine: (and) of course, (I) remained untouched (by him) as well

The literal translation for this would be "(the situation in which I) was not touched (by him) continued on as well". Yoh uses the passive form of the word "touch", which places the emphasis on Yoh "receiving" the action of being touched as opposed to placing the emphasis on Segasaki "carrying out" the action of touching Yoh. Consider the difference between the sentences "I was hurt by him" and "he hurt me". The former is the passive form, and is super common in Jp, much less common in Eng. If this is confusing - welcome to Jp grammar just know that the emphasis of this line is more on what Yoh does not have, rather than what Segasaki has not done. It accentuates Yoh's feelings of emptiness and loss.

Y: すっかり日々は過ぎて Y: The days pass by completely ...

Similarly, this sentence is "incomplete", and is instead continued by Segasaki walking in and telling Yoh he'll be late again. (This whole bit just hurts my soul tbh, Yoh is so lonely. )

This is a teruteru bouzu aka a charm of sorts for good weather. See the cultural tidbits post for Ep 2 linked up top for more info!

This is said really strongly, and gives the "what the hell are you doing" feel. Yoh's truly upset here.

I try not to care about some of the subs in these side conversations because they don't add much to the main story and these posts are already too long, but this sentence should really be "Dammit, maybe I should (go) troll the chat" (and the previous sentence should be "If this was broadcasted in a certain country it would be instant death" aka N.Korea ^^;) and I just think it was a nice touch to hint at the fandom wars/flaming that goes on between fans hahaha

[Y: しんどい] Y: This is too draining The word here used is "shindoi", which is a term used when you're feeling mentally/physically exhausted/drained, and carries a sense of frustration (at feeling this way) and sometimes (emotional) pain.

This. Is. Huge. Segasaki does 2 things here - one, he rejects an after-work meal, which you rarely do because Japan is all about the group and rejecting a group invite, to welcome a new member, can make you seem like you aren't a team player - two, the guy who invites him is his senior, which you can tell because Segasaki sticks to polite speech forms whilst the other guy does not. It's still relatively casual, so you can tell he's got a good working relationship with them (probably why he's not worried about rejecting them) but still. In Segasaki's world, Yoh is the No. 1 priority.

This is more accurately "WTF". There are many sounds in Japanese that aren't exactly words, but carry a lot of meaning - "Haa?!" is one of them, and is a very rude way to express a lot of anger and shock. Please, never say this in real life. You will royally piss off whoever it's directed at and if you are outside a Shibuya bar you will get punched.

The word used here is てめぇ (temee), which is a really rude way to say "you", and has the same energy as "you bastard". Segasaki usually uses the informal pronoun "omae" for "you" when he talks to Yoh, he's definitely pissed off here.

This is the same word, "shindoi" again.

I'm going to put the rest of the whole argument here with just my translation because it's too long to screencap the whole thing.

[S: 何なんだよ？このエロい惨状は Y: うるさい。 Y: 俺は売れっ子エロ漫画家になるんだ S: なんだそりゃ。おい *takes away beer can* Y: 売れっ子さんが　シコリながらネーム描くと　いいのができるって言ってた S: なんも描けてなかったぞ。 S: おい、だめだっつってんの S: 飲みすぎ　出すもん出して　寝てただけだろう Y: 黙れ！ Y: 俺はエロくて　抜ける漫画描いて　いっぱい稼いで Y: 早く　こんなとこ出ていくんだ S: はあ？　おい、お前　どういうつもりだよ Y: どうもこうもないよ！ Y: 平気で抱かれてると思うなよ 。 Y: 俺のこと、好きでもないくせに Y: 便利な奴隷としか思ってないんだろう？そんなにやりたきゃ隣のキャスターとやってろよ S: お前　さっきから　何を... Y: 俺はあんな風に笑いかけられたことない]

Breakdown: S: What's up with this? This lewd disaster of a scene Y: (You're) annoying! ["うるさい (urusai)" is often translated as "shut up", but it literally means someone is being "noisy", and here is more of a complaint that Segasaki is being bothersome] Y: I'm going to become a hot-selling erotica manga artist! [the word used here is 売れっ子 (urekko), which literally means "someone who gets huge sales" and mostly refers to idols, entertainers, TV personalities etc. So Yoh is not just saying he's going to become popular, he's saying he's gonna be like a celebrity manga artist, which is why Segasaki snorts a little at this] S: What's with that? Hey. *takes away beer can* Y: The hot sellers say that if you jerk off whilst drawing your storyboard, you'll come up with good stuff [urekko-san is a pretty cute way of referring to these popular artists] S: You've not drawn anything, you know? [this is said with a really indulgent air, which contrasts directly with the more authoritative tone of the next line] S: Hey, I'm telling you no more *grabs beer can* S: You drank too much. You just shot what you shot and then went to sleep didn't you? [And this is back to an indulgent tone - also, everyone knows Segasaki is talking about cumming here, he just doesn't actually say it so directly] Y: Shut up! ["黙れ (damare) - contrast with "urusai" earlier. The former is used much less commonly and really does mean to "be quiet". This is why Segasaki pauses and looks at Yoh. Up until now Segasaki just thinks Yoh's gotten drunk and is whining cutely, but this word means things are serious.] Y: I'm going to draw manga that is erotic, that you can wank off to, and then earn lots of money [this is a call back to the conversation with Man-san over the phone in Ep 1, which I did not include earlier because I didn't think it was important to the story when Yoh says "the work that was released last month was amazing! There was a big buzz around the topic "I can't wank off (to this)" - Yoh was being sarcastic here, meaning that he got reviews that his work wasn't erotic enough] Y: and leave this sort of place soon! S: What? Hey - what (the hell) are you thinking? [Again, "haa?" here shows he does NOT like what Yoh's saying, but he does soften the end of the sentence with a "yo"] Y: I'm not thinking of anything! Y: Embracing me so easily - don't think you can (keep on) doing that [again, this is the passive form, so the emphasis is on Yoh being embraced, and here has the nuance of "don't think I'll just (keep on) being fine with being embraced (by you) like it's some sort of norm"] Y: when you don't even like me [this line has quite a bit of bitterness in it - the emphasis here is strongly on Segasaki and his apparent "non-liking" of Yoh my english is dying.] Y: You think of me as just a convenient slave, don't you? Y: If you want to do it that much, go do it with that forecaster next to you! S: You... from the start... what have (you been saying?) Y: I have never been smiled at like that before [again, this is in passive voice]

It's obvious from the acting alone that this entire argument is pretty emotionally charged - this is also reflected in the language because Yoh uses the pronoun "ore (I)" a lot. Pronouns are frequently dropped in Japanese - often you can go an entire conversation without ever uttering the words "I/me" or "you", in part because the pronouns are assumed and also because emphasis on an individual can come across as too selfish/narcissistic or direct. Segasaki uses them often enough with Yoh, which fits his personality, but Yoh normally doesn't. So, when he uses "ore" here it stands out - his plans to be successful and leave, his feelings, his interpretation of Segasaki's actions - all of the emphasis is on his own self. The message is very clear - Yoh is hurting a lot more than he is blaming or accusing Segasaki.

[Y: もう疲れた。あんたといると疲れる。嫌いだ S: お前　酒入るとめちゃくちゃしゃべるんだな Y: ねぇ、何で雨の時はだめなの？ S: はあ？　だって、お前が言ったんだろう] Y: (I'm) tired out. When (I'm) with you, (I) get tired. Hate it. [We've lost the "I" pronouns here, because the emphasis is on the extreme sense of physical and emotional fatigue as opposed to Yoh himself, and on how much he dislikes that feeling. Of note, "hate" here is closer to "detest/really dislike" - the word is "kirai" - which is not as strong as the word "nikui" which we talked about in Ep 1 when Yoh said he hated the part of him that always listened to Segasaki. Also, this is the first time Yoh has addressed Segasaki with the pronoun "you" out loud - he uses "あんた anta", which he also used in his head in Ep 1, after they did it. Again, we'll talk about this in the analysis post in the future, but for now just know that this term is usually used between older couples.] S: You... once you start drinking you really start talking huh? [literally, you "become able to talk"] Y: Hey...why is it when it rains, (we) can't do it? S: What? Because, you said so didn't you? [the last "haa?" from Segasaki! This time expressing his surprise and slight indignation.]

[S: 俺は優しいんだ] S: I. am. Kind. Great example of Segasaki's use of the "ore" pronoun here to quite literally emphasise how great he is. "優しい (kind)" in Japanese carries the connotation of being thoughtful, anticipating the other person's needs and wants and then meeting them etc. It's a characteristic that people often say they look for in their potential partners.

[S: そもそも、なんだ先の言いぐさは 好きじゃないだの　出ていきたいだの お前　俺のプロポーズを受けといてよくそんなことが言えんな S: 養ってやる*っつってんだ　プロポーズ以外になに] S: In the first place, what was with those things you said earlier? That you don't like me, that you want to leave... You... that was rich, saying all that after accepting my proposal. S: I was saying I'd provide and care* for you. If that's not a proposal than what is? ["養ってやる" is a pretty possessive way to say I'll provide for you - it's the same word used when referring to parent providing for a child, or an owner providing for a small animal. It's not rude per se, but it does imply a power imbalance. Segasaki actually sort of has a point here because... this is not something you say to someone else unless you're in a relationship ^^;]

S: ていうかお前、俺のこと嫌いなんだ S: どうなの S: Actually about that... so you hate me huh? S: Which is it?

S: ふーん。あ、そ S: Ohh..? I see. ふーん (Ohh..?) - Segasaki says this a lot, especially in this episode. This is another one of those sounds that isn't a word but carries a lot of meaning. It has a dismissive sort of tone to it, like you've already assumed something or when you're pretty nonchalant/not impressed about whatever the other person has said and are just playing along with them by giving them some attention (so again, if you use it wrongly, it can piss people off). Segasaki uses it whenever Yoh goes mute or shy, as a way to tease Yoh - though Yoh seems to think Segasaki is dismissing/not interested in his answer. あ、そ (A, so) - again, Segasaki says this a lot - can be interpreted as "oh really?/I see/is that so?" - Combined with the above, you can see why Yoh often thinks Segasaki isn't interested in his answer, and even when he does recognise it as teasing, he gets too flustered to do anything about it.

This seems to have gotten longer, if you reached the end - congratulations! I hope this makes it a little clearer why it's so obvious to us as the viewer that Segasaki is really quite patient with Yoh, and is waiting for him to come to terms with his feelings, but at the same time so confusing for Yoh, because of the way many of these interactions can be read both ways. In Ep 3, we'll really be able to get into their dynamics because they've got so much more interaction together.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Japan Girl’s Fest - Hakuoki Drama "One Night's Promise" Eng translation

Found another drama with Hijikata and Kazama that's much shorter than the last one I posted... this one is from the ライブビデオ JAPAN乙女Festival in 2011!

Also this post is to make up for last week... I think?

Hakuoki ライブビデオ JAPAN乙女Festival drama "One Night's Promise"

Translation by KumoriYami

Hijikata: I thought I had just finished my work, [but] it's already midnight. It seems that headquarters is pretty quiet at night.

???:……

Hijikata: Who's there?!

Saito: It's Saito. I'm sorry for startling you.

Hijikata: Don't scare me like that. Is there something wrong?

Saito: I wasn't able to sleep, so I went to the dojo.

Hijikata: Ha, you seriously are an idiot for kenjutsu.

Saito:...Thank you. I'll take that words as a compliment.

Hijikata: Seriously, it can't be helped that you're an idiot for kenjutsu. Hurry up and get to bed so you don't cause problems for work tomorrow. Well then.

Saito:...Vice-Commander, what are you doing/where are you going this late at night?

Hijikata: Ah... I can't sleep. I just want going to walk around headquarters to get some fresh air.

Saito: Please wait. Because you're the Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander, I hope you will consider the circumstances and think twice about going outside alone [technically "without a companion" but that sounds weird...].

Hijikata:....You have a point....

Saito: I also can't sleep so I'll accompany you.

Hijikata: You don't need to be worry, it'll be fine.

Saito: I sincerely apologize. But this is something that I can't compromise on.

Hijikata: Ha… Okay, I get it. I give up. There's really no helping it, let's go.

Saito: Yes.

Okita: Areh, Hajime-kun, what are you doing in a place like this?

Saito: Why are you over here?

Okita: I just finished my patrol and was thinking of heading back after getting some fresh air. Areh? Hijikata-san is here too. I was thinking that there was a suspicious people around here, I never thought it would be Hijikata-san.

Hijikata: Hey, let's run away, Saito.

(crowd laughs)

Getting caught up with this guy will only make this rare warm evening breeze feel disgusting.

Okita: Hold it, Hijikata-san. Where are you going?

Hijikata: I’m not going anywhere. I'm just taking a stroll.

Okita: Then I'll also go.

Hijikata: Just hurry up and go to sleep. If you can't get up early tomorrow morning, you're the one who's going to get in trouble.

Okita: Hm~ Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun are able to stay up late yet I can't, that feels super unfair~

Hijikata: You bastard... can't you do something bout your mouth?....Just do what you want!

Okita: Hehe, yes, yes, I'll do as I like~!

....

(in a back alley)

Okita: Hey, Hijikata-san~ I'm getting tired~

Saito: The Vice-Commander has something important to do here. Please head back if you're going to disturb him.

Okita: Ah something important is it~ but all I see is him going on a pointless stroll.

Saito: He definitely isn't wasting time, this is an important way for Vice-Commander to pass the time.

(crowd laughs)

Okita: Heh~ it turns out it was a diversion. Then wasn't that enough of one?

Hijikata: Hey! You tow! Can't you be bit quieter? Seriously, it's a moonlit night, and yet there's no elegance to it.

Kazama: Elegance is it, you're saying that doesn't suit you at all.

Hijikata: You are... Kazama Chikage!

Kazama: I thought there would be stray dogs barking in the middle of the night, and it turned out to be you guys. Could it be that you don't even time to sleep in the Shinsengumi. You don't even have time to sleep while working for the Shinsengumi? You must be having a hrad time.

Hijikata: You bastard, what /What are you doing here?

Kazam: What am I doing? Why do I have to tell you tht?

Hijikata: Heh, our job is to maintain the public order in Koto. If we encounter a suspicious person in front of us, we need to send him back to where he came.

Kazama: Maintaining the public order in Kyoto.... Hahahaha, your dog-like nature hasn't changed at all. Ah. Well, it's fine to just keep licking the boots of the Shogunate.

Hijikata: Licking boots?! We're doing this because we have ambitions! You have no right to tell us what to do.

Kazama: Your ambitions? They're probably all pointless things anyway.

Hijikata: Hmph, you keep saying that you have great ambitions, but all you do is kill people people to be rewarded. After all, humans are creatures controlled by petty desires.

Okita: Hijikata-san, there's no point talking to him, just cut him down.

Saito: You guys, get ready.

Kazama: Hahahahaha, I was feeling bored, so this as tonight's entertainment is perfect. It's just as well, I'll be your opponent.

Hijikata: Take your hands off your swords, Souji, Saito.

Saito:……Why?

Okita：I can't back down so easily after being made fun of like that.

Hijikata: They say the weakest dogs bark the loudest. Listen, Kazama. I'll let you off today. But in return, you'll have to closely watch us with your own eyes from now own. The Shinsengumi's ambitions.

Kazama: Hm... You want me to witness that with my own eyes?

Hijikata: Yeah. Though if you still can't admit it to that, then-

Kazama: Then at that time, I will cut down all of your so-called great ambitions.

Hijikata: Fine. Then I'll just say one thing. Humans are creatures that are full of greed. As you say, it's true that the Shogunate and the world is full of corruption. But even so, as long as the Shinsengumi exists, we will fight for what is important to us. Don't forget that.

Kazama: Is that all you wanted to say? Isn't this what they mean when they say the "howling of the losing dog".

Hijikata: Just say whatever you want! The next time we meet… I'll cut cut you down.

Kazama: Those words, I'll return them to you.

....

Okita: Hijikata-san, why didn't you do anything?

Saito: Souji, the Vice-Commander was reaffirming thorough him that the Shinsengumi must never bring shame to ourselves as warriors before the Shogunte or the world. We must engrave that in our hearts.

Okita: Hm~ what a serious pain. Anyway, I'll just cut down the enemy in front of me, so I'll leave the rest of the problems to Hijikata-san.

Hijikata: Hmph, I thought you'd say that. It's fine if you do that, but just focus on looking forward without looking back. You too, Saito. Under the Makoto flag, keep heading forward.

Saito: Yes.

Okita: Yes~ yes. Oh, it's already dawn.

Hijikata: Our regulations say that weren't supposed to be out at night, so what the hell were we doing? [???]

Okita: Ah~~ (yawns) If I can't wake up today, it'll all be Hijikata-san's fault.

Hijikata: You were the one who insisted on following us!

Saito: Vice-Commander, since this is a rare opportunity, why don't we go enjoy the morning sun.

Hijikata: Ah, right. It looks like we'll have a beautiful sunrise.

---end---

[ghost-proofbaby]

modern!steve harrington + mine cause i just KNOW he’d love that song and daydream about a future with his girl listening to it 😭💜

mine (steve's version)

warnings: hurt/comfort, my fingers slipped and put angst

wc: 2.1k+

an: okay i completely goofed here and made this far angstier than you wanted, and did not realize until AFTER it was done. ��� i'm gonna apply the same logic as miss swift does with surprise songs - since i technically messed up, if you'd like a redo with more sweetness, let me know and i've got you haha 😭 i also just processed you wanted him to listen to the song and that image broke my brain so basically what i'm saying is this one will definitely get a redo haha sorry nonnie <3

It had all started over a stupid fight. A fight that he didn’t even recall how it had started. That’s how stupid it had been. 

Steve had been tired, coming home from a long shift at the diner. It had been a shit show for the entirety of the twelve hours that Steve had been there, instantly making him regret pulling a double to cover one of his coworkers who called claiming they had a fever, but that he’d definitely seen posting on their stories about being out for drinks very late the night before. But he wasn’t going to tell his boss that — he’d been there. One too many beers on one of his rare free nights with friends, and he too would call out, claiming something along the lines of food poisoning. 

He wasn’t fully lying. That much alcohol probably had poisoned him considering the way he felt like death the next morning.

The coworker wasn’t what had him in a sour mood, though. Nor was it the one elderly couple that had kept trying to have terribly long conversations with him when he knew he had food to run. Nor was it that obnoxiously large group of preteens that seemed to have no self awareness as they’d reeked absolute havoc on the diner for the final hour before closing. No, none of that really phased Steve anymore — he was just tired. He was tired, a bit too easily irritated, and just wanted to sleep. 

His plans for the night had been crawling into bed with you, watching some TV show or movie he wouldn’t pay attention to with his head in your lap as your fingers would scratch soothingly at his scalp. His plans for the night didn’t include this fight. If he could have stopped, God only knows he would have.

“They’re going to shut off the water, Steve,” you stress, on the verge of tears at this point. Steve didn’t know if they were from stress, exasperation with him, or if you were hurting from how flippant he’d been since he walked through the door. Regardless, it didn’t matter; seeing you misty-eyed twisted the knife in his chest all the same, “What the fuck are we going to do if they do that? This isn’t something to talk about tomorrow.”

“They’re not going to turn it off tonight!” he shouts right back at you, throwing his hands into the air in defeat, “Fuck, I- what do you want me to do about it? What can I do about it tonight?” 

You snap your mouth shut at that, lips pressed tightly to avoid any quivering. 

“I just worked twelve fucking hours, I just wanted to come home and relax, I’m not in the mood-“

“You’re never in the mood,” you flatly interrupt him, tone a stark contrast to all the overwhelming emotions prominent on your face. Your voice doesn’t even waver — he knows that whatever you’re about to say, it’s been on your mind a while, “It’s always we’ll talk about this tomorrow, or we’ll figure it out. But we never talk about it. We never figure it out, Steve. We can’t just- You don’t think I’m tired, too?” 

His heart breaks a little. You’re right. You’re standing there, still in your scrubs from your own twelve hour shift, and fuck, you’re right. 

Things hadn’t ever been easy. Back in high school, there had been the issue of Steve’s parents. After graduation, it had been the terrible decisions of what now. When you two had decided to pack up and get the Hell out of town, it had been the stress of finally dealing with all the uncertainty, all while desperately trying to keep afloat amongst stacks of bills and adult responsibilities neither of you had expected to drown in. Things had never been easy, but Steve didn’t care about easy — he just cared that you’d always been there, by his side, on his team. 

Right now, it didn’t feel like you and him versus the world. For the first time, it feels like there’s only you two in the boxing ring. 

“This isn’t a competition, we’re… we’re supposed to be on the same side.” 

There it was — your voice cracks, and the moment the first tear falls from your eyes, you’re quick to reach up and swipe it away, pretending it never happened. Pretending that one tear wasn’t ripping Steve apart from the inside out.

“It’s not a competition! But Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m suffocating-“

“I’m suffocating you?” the tears are falling more freely, and you make no move to erase them. 

That’s not what he meant. At all. He’s only making it all worse. So, so much worse.

“I-“ he starts, but he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to make this better. 

He doesn’t know how to fix this.

In an instant, his hands go from threading and angrily tugging at his hair to flaring at his side as he suddenly walks sharply down the hallway. He’s making a beeline for your shared bedroom, doing the only thing he can think of to fix this for you. For tonight, at least.

You’re quick to follow, only two steps behind him, “Where are you going?”

“I’m-“ he pauses, yanking a random drawer open to the dresser, finding himself staring at a pile of your clothes rather than his own. He huffs through frustration and his own building tears, “I’m gonna stay at Eds’ tonight. Give you some space.” 

“Give me space?” you laugh back in disbelief, not daring to take any more steps closer to him, “You’re the one who’s being suffocated-“

“You’re not suffocating me,” he stops all movement, hand still on the knob of his drawer. He turns to you suddenly, a new found confidence, “That’s- That’s not what I meant, okay?” 

He can’t make this right, but he can’t leave you thinking that’s what he meant. You could never suffocate him — and even if you tried, he’d find it to be the most heavenly way to die. But you didn’t know that, not in this moment, and that was what was currently killing him.

You take a deep breath, one step forward, before asking quietly, “What did you mean, then?” 

One last chance. An opportunity to make this right.

“You could never suffocate me,” all the shouting and the frustration has vanished, only softness and hurt left in their places, “Ever. Don’t you ever think for one moment that it’s you. It’s not, okay? I love you. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, you are-“ he chokes up, looking into your glossy eyes. He can still recall the way he felt all those years ago when they’d first laid eyes on him. He’s memorized the way it felt, because every time you look at him, it still manages to feel like the very first time, “You are everything to me. You’re- Fuck, honey, you’re my entire future. When I think about the future, all I think about is you.” 

You take another step forward. Steve’s own tears now track his own face, his heart racing painfully.

“I love you so fucking much, it’s crazy. And I just- I feel like I’m fucking all of this up. You deserve more than this, and I try to give it to you, but I can’t-“

“That doesn’t all fall on you, Steve,” your hands shake as you lift them, finally close enough to touch him. Each palm rests delicately on his chest and you can’t look him in the eyes, “I don’t want you for your money. Never have, never will.” 

He laughs wetly. You’ve more than proven that. When his parents cut him off completely, you hadn’t blinked an eye. 

“I want you because I love you. I’m in love with you, Steve Harrington. Okay? I’m so in love with you, I followed you across the goddamn country.” 

“Eddie and Robin did too, to be fair,” he reminds you, almost jokingly. All the tension from the fight is quickly fading. His hand drops from the drawer. 

“They did, but I guarantee I love you more than them,” you scrunch your nose, almost grimacing before adding, “No offense to them, of course.” 

“Of course,” he echoes, slowly reaching up and holding your hands that had been pressed to his chest. You don’t pull back.

“I’m just- it’s stressful. We’re both stressed. Neither of us were prepared for this,” you look him desperately in his eyes, “I meant what I said, though. This isn’t me versus you — I never want it to be us fighting each other. It’s always us versus the problem, okay?” 

He nods when you wait patiently for his response, “Okay.” 

“And I want you here,” you continue, “I want you here, in our home and in our bed. I want you here, even screaming back and forth with me, as long as you’re here. With me. Go to bed mad at me, I don’t care. Just… don’t walk away.” 

You smile through the residual tears, squeezing his hands that hold yours. 

Steve thinks about all the examples of love he’d ever been shown. His parents, in a castle of ice. The way the fights always ended in separate rooms, sometimes separate houses. His father storming out to spend the night in a hotel rather than having to be around his mother a second longer. He remembers the way that even with an abundance of money, they were never happy. They never loved each other. A marriage of convenience rather than love. Lasting only out of obligation, not dedication. 

He didn’t want that with you. He couldn’t ever imagine what the two of you have being reduced to that.

When he looks at you, all he can see is happiness. All he can feel is that love bursting from his chest. Images of the two of you by Lover’s Lake, the way the waves of the lake had sent shattered and sparkling flares of light across your cheeks as you’d laughed at him as if he was the funniest person in the entire world. All the nights spent over the phone, talking about nothing and everything, desperate to just fall asleep to the sound of each other’s voices. The ridiculous nerves he’d felt on the first date, King Steve shaking at the thought of putting his arm around you because for the first time, he was truly scared of fucking this up. 

You made him a better man. You saw everything inside of him that was broken, that he had spent so long trying to hide, and you’d simply sat down beside him with glue in hand, prepared to spend as much time as he needed to piece it all back together. 

Go to bed mad at me, I don’t care. Just… don’t walk away.

“I can’t do that, sweetheart,” he finally sighs. Your face starts to fall, but he’s quick to clarify, “I can’t go to bed mad at you. Ever. And we can fight, us versus the problem like you said, all we want but… I don’t want to go to bed mad. I don’t want… I don’t want that. Whenever my head hits that shitty pillow every night,” you both break to laugh, because God, you both really did need new pillows (and a mattress, if you were being honest), “All I want to know is that you’re mine and I’m yours. Sound fair?” 

You smile, and it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. It makes all the long shifts worth it as you nod slowly, “Sounds fair to me.” 

“Good,” he guides the two of you to the center of the room before he drops your hands from his, sighing and letting his shoulders finally drop, “Then in that case, I’m staying.” 

Even with crying tears on your cheeks, you’re still the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. You’re still the best thing Steve Harrington has ever had the privilege of calling his, “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. So if we’re gonna fight — let’s fight, baby.” 

He puts his fists up comically, and you only giggle and grab at them, shaking your head.

“I think we've fought enough for one night,” you mumble, bringing one fist to your mouth, kissing each of his knuckles gently. 

Once you’ve placed your final kiss, he quickly placed the hand beneath your chin, lifting your lips to his. He kisses you in quick succession, and between each one, he repeats the sincerest I’m sorry he can muster. 

He only stops once you’re smiling too wide for him to continue. 

After his lips leave yours one last time, pulling back slowly as he savors it and you, he finally sighs, “I am curious, though — what the Hell are we going to do if they do shut off the water?” 

You shrug, “Like you said, we can talk about it tomorrow.” 

“Or we can use Eddie and Robin’s shower.” 

“Or we can use Eddie and Robin’s shower.” 

As it turns out, Steve Harrington was wrong — when it comes to you, he can always fix things. 

"brace myself for the goodbye, 'cause it's all i've ever known. then you took me by surprise, you said 'i'll never leave you alone'."

[every-character-ever-poll]

If you want anybody to ever be able to safely view anything posted by this blog, you will need to remove the dangerous entries from the spreadsheet and never publish them on this blog, because anyone could be susceptible to some of these things.

(Prior ask)

Anon, I am going to be honest with you. I've been taking these asks in good faith, and treating you as someone who has spent too much time online in a small community feedback bubble and came out of it with some beliefs on how people should use the internet. I am always willing to talk with people if they have an issue with my blog and see what, if anything, can be done.

I do not think you are that person.

You're not telling me anything to actually fix your perceived issue, and instead are just repeating the same talking points without clarification. I am a real human person. I have a life. I have things to do. Respectfully, it is very much past midnight for me, and I have stuff going on very early tomorrow (this?) morning. I take people at face value a lot of the time, but really, if you keep sending me asks like this, I will block you. I'm also not going to publish any more of your asks.

I feel like I could handle this with more grace and dignity, but I am naught but a mortal man, and I am very tired, and there is only so much nonsense I can deal with at this time before I call it quits.

Have a good one.

[drippingmoon]

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 2: "Where is Bella?" (Part 2, short)

It was shortly after 6:00 a.m. when Mortimer woke up unintentionally. “Oh, good morning, son“/”mmh, has mother banished you for the night again?“/”Mhm, hnhn. How's your heart?"/ ‘My answer to that is always the same, so you don't have to keep asking me that question.’/ ”Sorry. Your daughter was up late. Is she still working on her project?“/”That's not a project, that's nonsense!”.

“Give her a chance, Mortimer. She's the only one here who isn't unstable. She trusts in the power of science"/ ”Science… I don't think much of it anymore… Bella's gone, she's left us…“/”chh, there's an explanation for everything, it just takes time. Do you mind if I take a nap?“/”,Do what you can't help doing”.

“Good morning, Dad. Are you going to the gallery with me after breakfast?“/”What do you think about going to school first?“/”But there's no school today, not until tomorrow. Today the teachers wanted to meet in a, uh… Conc… um?“/”Conference?“/”Yes, exactly“/”mmh. well, let's go to the gallery then”.

“Oh, good morning. I actually wanted to make us breakfast…“/”But we're hungry now. Oh, there's a deer out there“/”no, just a roebuck. All right, I guess I'm off the hook for cooking today“/,,for once”/

After breakfast, they left the house together. “Alex, what do you say you make your way to the gallery already, I'll follow later"/,,I can go alone? O.k., but I'll wait for you outside“/”,all right.“/,,Bye, Cassy, see you later”/ “oh, I'll be out a bit longer, Alex, I'll see you tonight”/”,0.k., ”.

Mortimer deliberately waited until his son had boarded the bus, then kept talking. “Are you going to meet Don?"/ ”I'm planning to, yes. But first I have to go to the institute, there are some important things waiting for me"/ ‘why are you still so stubborn about this?’/ ‘because you've given up on it, Dad, that's why’. He narrowed his eyes. “At some point you're going to reach a limit."/ ‘Hn, I haven't even come close to reaching all the limits yet’.

“I've seen so much, Cassandra, I know where life begins and where it ends. And everything that comes after is more than familiar to me, through all our ancestors. “/"And as you know, not even our ancestors have a clue where mom is, she's not in this world and not in the hereafter… Otherwise“/,,I don't want to hear any more, please.”. His voice sounded tortured and his look was tired. “hh, all right”.

“Are you still seeing Dina?"/ ”Not often, you know that. And you're sure you still want to marry him?"/ ” of course, I love him… And… I don't care what people say here"/. Her father raises an eyebrow. Don didn't have the best reputation in town because of various women's stories. So it was incomprehensible to him what his daughter liked so much about him.

“Why didn't you look for someone else? Someone down to earth… Not so… Wild"/,,he's not wild, he's very charming and polite…. And he knows that I… Have my principles“/”and you're not even church-educated, my child. You could have anyone, you know that"/ ‘hm - I want him and he wants me, his proposal came quickly, but he's serious’/ ‘I hope so’.

Cassandra is friendly and loves her family more than anything. People also like her shy side. This is particularly appealing to Don too - and she knows it. They have never slept together before, she deliberately wanted to wait. She had to. Because of her principles, as her father believes….but maybe there's something else behind it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover , @solorisims , @plumbobgothica ⭐😊

My story posts are also welcome to be shared.😊🙂

[captainsophiestark]

Dive Bar

Maxon Schreave x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: The Selection Series

Summary: As one of the Elite, a finalist in the Selection, Y/N gets to bring Maxon to her hometown to show him around on an official royal visit.

Word Count: 1,841

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I smiled, trying not to squint my eyes against the bright lights flashing in my face. All this time, and I still hadn't gotten used to that.

"Thank you all for coming, but we're going to have to call it a night! Our official tour of the city starts bright and early tomorrow morning, after all," said Maxon Schreave, the man I stood arm and arm  with, a brilliant smile on his face as he addressed the press. They kept cheering and taking pictures as the two of us smiled, nodded, bowed, then headed inside the hotel arm in arm.

As soon as we were through the doors, I sighed and let some of the tension ease out of my shoulders. Maxon kept his posture and demeanor proper until the elevator doors closed on us. Then he sighed, too, and turned to me with a tired smile.

"Well, that was certainly a long day. But I'm happy to be here with you."

I smiled, my face warming. Moments like this, just the two of us with no one else watching over our shoulders, were incredibly rare. I wanted to savor every second of it that I could.

"I'm glad you're here, too. And the tour tomorrow is going to be fun, even if it's also a media circus."

Maxon laughed, offering his arm to me again as the elevator doors opened and we stepped out together. Servants and staff waited to escort us to our  separate suites.

The two of us stopped to face each other in the  middle of the hallway, before going our separate ways. As one of the finalists in the Selection, I got to bring Maxon back to my hometown for a tour and a look at where I'd come from. Aside from being a fun  experience spending time with the man I loved in the place I called  home, it was also the first time we'd spent togehter without the other members of the Selection. Even with all the media and people surrounding our every step, it had been fun.

"I suppose I'll see you in the morning for the circus," said Maxon, taking my hands and staring into my  eyes with a sparkle of mischief in his I grinned back.

"Yeah. I'll see you then."

Maxon hesitated for a minute, then leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. I smiled even wider, although that was hardly possible, then said goodnight to Maxon and headed to my room.

I went through my regular nightly routine, sending my ladies in waiting away to get some rest of their own. I curled up in bed and closed my eyes, then started my mental clock running. I was going to give it a full half hour, to really minimize my chances of getting caught.

When I'd first heard about the hometown dates, I'd mentally planned a full week of various activities from when I'd lived here before someone burst my bubble. We were coming here with the Crown Prince, sole heir to Illea, while the rebels remained a threat. He would not be going anywhere the palace  hadn't planned and approved.

As someone who'd spent most of my time in this city far away from anything the palace would ever select, I'd been furious. What was the point of a home date if Maxon didn't actually get to see my home?

I knew better than to bring that up with anyone, though. So instead, I'd continued to make my own plan. If Maxon was on board, we were going to have the night of our lives.

I slid out from under the covers in the darkness, listening carefully for any sound or movement from my suite. When I heard nothing, I slipped into a more comfortable pair of  clothes (featuring beat-up blue jeans and a ballcap from my original wardrobe when I came to the palace), then headed to the window.

I'd worked in this hotel for a few odd jobs here and there, and I knew I could get to Maxon's room via balcony-hopping if I really wanted to. So that's what I did. I slipped out the window, closing it most of the way behind me so hopefully no one would notice, then moved carefully from one balcony to the other until I got to Maxon's room.

I listened at the window for a minute, and when I didn't hear any conversation, I leaned in to peek through. The room was empty save Maxon, who was just climbing into bed. I grinned and tapped on the window. He looked up, his face changing from surprised to delighted to concerned in a few  seconds. He glanced at the closed bedroom door behind him as he hurried to open the window for me.

"What are you doing here?" Maxon asked, his voice a frantic whisper. I grinned.

"Trying to take you on an adventure, if you're up for a little bit of risk."

Maxon hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the closed bedroom door again. Then, he looked back at me with a smile.

"Just let me get dressed."

I ended up having to help Maxon pick his outfit, since only a few things in his entire wardrobe would give him a chance at blending in with non-royals. I gave him an extra ballcap and told him to keep his head down, and within a few minutes, we were heading through the city to my absolute favorite spot.

"This is it!" I said proudly, turning with a smile to face Maxon. We stood on a dirty street, in front of a glowing red neon sign for my favorite place in the world. They sold the best shitty pizza and seriously toed the line of dive bar, and it had been one of the things I missed most since going to the palace.

"This... is it? Are you sure this is the place, my dear?"

"Oh yeah. Just you wait, you're in for the best night of your life. The palace could never compare."

Maxon smiled and shook his head, but he took my hand when I offered it all the same.

"Alright then. Let's see what this place has to offer."

****************

"Yes!" Maxon shouted, leaping up in the air before landing with a sheepish grin. "I got my first bullseye."

"I saw!" I laughed, beaming at Maxon's excitement. It had taken him the better part of an hour to relax, but now we were playing darts while eating terrible pizza and sipping local beers, like any other normal  couple from my city might. It had been magical.

"If I'm keeping  score correctly, that means I win unless you also get a bullseye, doesn't it?" he asked, fixing me with a brilliant smile. I picked up my dart and nodded.

"That's right. You better cross your fingers, Schreave."

Maxon laughed as I stepped up to the line, leveling my dart at the board. I'd done this so many times before, it was like second nature, even though I  hadn't played a lot of darts at the palace. I drew back, then followed  through and let the dart fly. It smacked into the board just slightly to the left of the center bullseye.

"Oh my- did I just win?" asked Maxon, a slightly delirious joy in his voice. I beamed as I turned around to face him.

"Yeah. I guess you did."

Maxon laughed in disbelief, then moved forward to wrap me tightly in his arms. He picked me up off my feet and spun me around, and I smiled. I hadn't missed a game-winning shot like that in years, but I wanted to see how happy Maxon would be if he won. I'd made the right decision.

"Does this mean I'm the darts champion now?" asked Maxon, a teasing quirk to his mouth as he set me down. "Since I beat you?"

I shook my head, still smiling as I went to retrieve the darts in the board.

"You've  gotta do more than beat me once with beginner's luck to take the title of champion," I said. "Put a dart board in the palace and we can really see what's what."

Maxon grinned. "You have a deal, my dear. Prepare to lose again."

I chuckled. Maxon's words didn't have any heat behind them, and it made my heart soar to see him so happy and carefree. I wished I could give that to him all the time, but I'd settle for tonight and look for opportunities in the future.

Unfortunately, by the end of that game of darts, we had to head back to the hotel or risk being caught  sneaking out. We took our glasses up and dropped them off at the bar, then I settled our tab. Maxon and I walked out of the place together arm in arm, this time no different than all the other regular strangers milling around on the street.

"Thank you for bringing me here tonight," he said as we walked, the cool night air perfect and refreshing. "I don't often get the opportunity to be among the citizens of Illea. That in itself is a treat, but getting to do it with you is the best thing I could imagine."

"I'm always happy to spend time with you, Maxon. Thank you for taking the risk and sneaking out with me."

"I'll sneak away with you every time I can get away with it, and maybe even a few more times than that."

"Well, good. But let's try to make this one of the not-getting-caught times, okay?"

"Of course."

Thankfully,  we made it back onto the balcony outside Maxon's room without issue. His room was dark, the door still closed, meaning none of the palace staff were any the wiser about where we'd gone. Maxon hopped back through the window, and I smiled before turning to go back to my own room, but he caught my hand and pulled me back.

"I just wanted to  say... I really enjoyed myself tonight. I find that I enjoy most times that I spend with you. I... I love you."

I beamed. "I love you too, Maxon. I love every minute we spend together, even when it's many, many minutes of letting the press take pictures of us. You even make royal procedure meetings enjoyable just by being in the room next to me."

Maxon laughed. He glanced down at my lips, then back up at me, a tentative smile on his face.

"Can I kiss you?"

I grinned. "Absolutely."

I leaned forward, and Maxon and I shared a long, sweet kiss through the window. After a moment, we pulled apart, both of us positively glowing. I took a half-step back, never taking my eyes off Maxon.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I said. He grinned, leaning out the window even further.

"Yes you will."

"Okay. Good. Then goodnight."

"Goodnight, my dear."

I floated back to my room, thankfully also without getting caught, and fell asleep with a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to experience a thousand more places with Maxon, and play a thousand more darts matches together. Anything the future brought, as long as it was with him.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

The Selection Taglist: @valkyriepirate

[koffeinvergiftung]

Tips for studying as a struggling adult

I often see tips for studying and building routines, but they often help me for only a day or two, but never long run. Most of them are also oriented towards students, and the schedule won't work if you have a full time job while studying.

Note: I am neurodivergent (AuDHD), and have been struggling with mental and physical health for most of my student years, to the point where I had to drop out of University to focus on myself. These tips will be a mixture of what has helped me in high school, and what helps me now.

1. Having a routine is good, but missing your 'checklist' is not the end of the world

Having a full time job means there is a 'must do' every day, no matter what other plans I might have. What I usually do is try to work my study plans around my work schedule.

Morning shift: I come home around 1.30, so at around 3 I will start with revision, or new lecture (depending on the day). During revision, I will take a break after every 'section' (for example: vocab practice - break - sentence practice - break - revision review). If I'm starting a new lecture, I will usually take a break every 45 minutes, to mimic the classroom schedule I had when I was in school. Usually I will do my Duolingo lecture on the to, during my break, or before bed.

Afternoon shift: I try to wake up around 9, and I do my Duolingo practice while having breakfast. After that I do my revision/new lecture, and I try to study until at least 11-11.30. After work I will do some more revision, and get ready for bed.

I always spend my evenings on call with my partner, so I will also use that time to ask for help with grammar or pronunciation.

This routine helps me, BUT, there will always be days when I don't feel like doing anything, especially is work has been extra tiring that day. Then I will just do my Duolingo daily quests, and if I'm feeling like it, some vocab review.

It's okay to not be okay, if you feel like you need a break, please take some time for yourself. There is always tomorrow, or even next week. Go easy on yourself ♡

2. Make your free time count

With work and studying, it's easy to forget about your hobbies and social life. To avoid the burnout, try to fine some time every day to do what you enjoy (drawing, reading, gaming etc.) Even if you spend more time on your hobbies than studying, that's okay.

Another thing I do is take a few minutes every say to tidy up around my room. Somehow ( no idea how), trash such as papers quickly acclimate in my room, so if I don't deal with trash on a daily basis, it eventually turns into a depression room. And those are nearly impossible to deal with for me.

Make sure to keep in touch with your friends, too! I try to go out at least once a week, and sometimes turn that coffee into a study session. Those often help me stay focused, and we also talk about the material while studying.

3. Mental health matters more than your studies

I often see posts that romanticise 'working until you drop', sleep deprivation, caffeine overdose and similar. Please, please, PLEASE, take care of yourself! I used to be that way in high school, and sure, passing my classes with an A, felt amazing, but you know what didn't? Suffering a complete burnout, mental breakdown, and major issues with physical health, all withing less than six months. All due to overworking myself in highschool, all due to not taking care of myself. Remember, you can always retake the exam, or redo a year; you cannot redo your life.

When I'm feeling a burnout coming, I make sure to take a day or two just for myself; no studying, to revision, just me and myself. On those days you can do whatever makes you feel happy, relaxed and content. I usually watch a few episodes of a show, spend some time playing video games, and spend some time outside. Especially if it's a nice day outside, try to catch a few rays of sunshine every day, and especially if you're not feeling well (don't forget to wear sun protection!)

These are the tips that help me now, but most of these I couldn't really implement while I was in high school. I will do another post on how I studied before (over 5 years ago 🫣), and how I raised my grades. I'm also planning on writing (and maybe illustrating) about the way I study now, including taking notes and revising.

[library-ghoulette]

Chapter 10/?

(You can also read this and my other fics on ao3!)

Pairing: Copia (Papa Emeritus IV) x Original Female Character

Rating: Explicit, MDNI

Tags: Third person POV, original female character, morning after, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, coming inside

Words: 3180

Summary: In which Copia and Beatrice enjoy the morning after... and each other.

A/N: Thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this chapter! The world has been incredibly heavy lately, which makes writing difficult, but I'm trying to remember that times like these are when we need creativity, passion, and joy more than ever. Hoping to get back to regular updates soon, and hoping that you're well, dear readers. 💜

For one brief, panicky moment upon waking, Beatrice has no idea where she is. Her alarm goes off as always, but the blurry room around her is unfamiliar. The sunlight streams in at a different angle, the bedsheets are maroon instead of lavender, and the old T-shirt she's wearing doesn't smell like her, it smells like—

The details begin to coalesce. The arm draped over her waist. The deep, even breathing behind her. The warm scent of tobacco and church incense that she's come to associate with close quarters, quiet conversations, and kisses that she can feel in her very soul.

She's in the papal suite. She's in Copia's bed.

She gropes around the bedside table, locating her phone and silencing its shrill, insistent bleat.

She groans and rubs the grit of sleep from her eyes, and fragmented images from the night before swim up out of the murk. Bleeding hands and smeared paint. Dark stone passages. Following Copia up from the subterranean chapel. Standing under the shower on shaky legs as Copia shampooed the lingering smoke from her hair, working out the tangles with impossibly gentle hands. Falling exhausted into his bed, falling almost immediately into the deepest sleep of her life.

Other memories, too—her hands on his bare skin, his mouth on her breasts, the fullness of him inside her. Even now she can feel a delicious soreness along her inner thighs that serves as a reminder that last night wasn't some post-ritual hallucination.

That, what they did… It wasn't how things were supposed to go. But despite the brief rush of disbelief that she threw herself at him like that, she doesn't regret what they did. She wouldn't change a single decision that she made down there in that chapel, if given the chance, would do it exactly the same again and again. She just hopes that he feels the same.

Her phone blares back to life with the alarm she had only snoozed, startling her out of her recollections, and Copia stirs behind her. She silences the phone again and, realizing what time it is, swears and moves to get out of bed.

But Copia's arm tightens around her waist, drawing her back against him, keeping her in place. "Where're you going?" he mumbles, the words slurred with sleep and spoken into her still-damp hair.

"Work. I'm going to be late." She tries once again to sit up, but his grip is relentless. "Let me go."

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"Stay with me." He snuggles against her, his body warm and solid and inviting, and there is nothing she would rather do than obey him, but—

"I have so much to do today," she protests.

"Tomorrow," he counters. "Rest today."

Beatrice sighs and rolls over to face him. A mistake—if she wants to maintain her resolve to leave this bed—now or ever—she doesn't need to see him like this, bare face and bedhead, slowly opening sleepy eyes to regard her with an affection that makes her stomach clench.

"But Penumbra—"

"Will be settling in with the other ghouls. It was a rough night, yes? She'll be just as tired as you are."

"I'm not— not that tired," Beatrice says, around a yawn that undermines her point. Copia cocks an eyebrow at her.

"Take a sick day. Go back to sleep. You can set the world to rights tomorrow, sorellina."

"Fine," Beatrice huffs. "Just…" —she pulls up her work email— "just let me reschedule this meeting…"

She's barely finished typing out a message to Sister Catherine—secretly relieved to have a reason to shirk that obligation—when Copia takes her phone from her. He ignores her her protests as he tosses it off the edge of the bed behind him. It bounces off the carpet and out of reach.

"Now," he says, settling back onto the pillow and closing his eyes again, "sleep."

She tries, she really does, but Beatrice has never been the kind of person to easily fall back asleep once she's awake. Especially in a new place. And Copia is so close, and it all has her keyed up and antsy. There's no way she can sleep like this.

Still, it's nice, all wrapped up in Copia's arms, so she'll just lie here, she thinks, and watch him—

"I can feel you watching me. " His white eye opens a crack, startling her. Caught.

"Sorry," she offers. "I can't sleep."

"'S alright." His hand tenses against her lower back, drawing her closer. "What's on your mind?"

What's not on her mind? As usual, her thoughts have been spinning out in a hundred different directions at once, weaving a complicated tapestry of worry and preoccupation. But to both of their surprise, what comes out of her mouth is, "You have freckles."

Copia chuckles and runs his hand up her arm where it rests atop the covers, pushing up the sleeve of her borrowed T-shirt. The contact sends a pleasant shiver through her. "You have a tattoo."

"Graduation gift to myself," she explains, "when I finished my Master's."

"I like it."

She brings her hand up to run a finger along his nose, his cheek. "I like your freckles."

All it takes is a glance down at his full lips to have him pressing his mouth to hers.

Distantly, she thinks that she should go brush her teeth first, save him from her morning breath. But he doesn't seem to care, just keeps kissing her, languid and unhurried. She's not used to being kissed this thoroughly. It scares her to consider how easily she could get used to it, given the chance.

His mouth leaves hers to trail along her jaw, her neck, finding the sensitive spot behind her ear that makes her back arch and a little moan escape from her throat. When she feels his hand stealing to cup her breast, soft and braless beneath the worn fabric of the T-shirt, she laughs and protests, "I thought I was supposed to be resting."

The look he gives her is devilish and send a a throb of longing straight to her cunt. She doesn't resist when he rolls her over onto her back and positions himself between her thighs, looming over her.

"There," he says, voice low, close. "Rest. And let me take care of you."

There is none of last night's frenzy in the patient, attentive way he explores her body, as though he plans to use every last minute of today finding all of the ways to make her sigh and arch and come undone.

He pushes up her borrowed shirt and she finishes the job, pulling it over her head and off. The corner of his mouth quirks up, either in amusement at her eagerness or just because he's happy to be seeing her tits again, but all thought of asking which one flees from her mind when he runs his tongue in a warm curve along the underside of her left breast and up to her pebbled nipple. Desire coils tight within her, hips rolling forward in a desperate search for contact, for friction. When she grinds against him, she can feel how needy and wet she already is—but she was wet before he even touched her. He can have her soaked with just a look.

She sighs a plea for more, raking her short black nails through his hair, torn between pushing his head down between her thighs and reaching for his cock. He pulls back, mouth leaving her flesh with a wet pop, and admonishes her, "Patience, mia cara. I'm getting there."

He works his way down her body, pressing kisses between her breasts, over her belly, just beneath her navel. Distantly, she remembers times when she pushed other lovers away from these parts of her body, crossing her arms over the rolling softness that she's always struggled to make peace with. But Copia's attention is so reverent, so hungry, that it chases away her self-consciousness and leaves her pliant, eager.

It doesn't hurt that she's so horny that she feels like she might die if he doesn't touch her, really touch her, soon, so worked up that when he pulls her underwear down and off, she moans just from the contact of the cool air against her wet heat.

Kisses along her ankle, her calf, the backs of her knees, before Copia spreads her legs and settles down between them—and hisses in a pained breath.

Concern cuts through her haze of lust. "Are you okay?" she asks, sitting up. "What's wrong?"

"My back." He kneads his lower back with one hand and grimaces before shooting her a teasing look. "Fucking on the floor is not so good for an old man like me."

"You're not old," she protests.

"Older than you, dolcezza."

"I'm not that youn— oh!"

Her words die out on a gasp as he licks a wide swath up her center and she falls back against the pillows.

In her thirty years Beatrice has had a small handful of lovers, both men and women, both good and bad. At least a couple were quite good. But none of them ever made her feel as downright savored as Copia does now, dragging his tongue through her folds with his eyes closed and a heedless moan rumbling low in his throat.

He takes his time to stoke her arousal higher and higher, pressing her thighs wider with his shoulders and kissing her pussy as thoroughly as he kisses her mouth, tongue delving into her entrance before coming up to circle her clit. It feels like fire searing a molten path up her spine as he sucks that bundle of nerves between his lips. He skin is hot, tight, her hips bucking helplessly against him.

He must get a lot of practice around here, something small and nasty and insistent inside of her sneers. She forces the thought away, shoving it down into the dark where it can't hurt her, hoping that he doesn't notice her momentary distraction.

But of course he does, and pauses, and it's torture.

"Is this okay?" he asks, looking up at her with concern. She nearly sobs, nodding frantically, "Yes— please—"

Beatrice's back bows, her muscles winding tighter with each stroke of his tongue. He focuses his attention on her clit and slides one finger into her pussy, then another. She's not going to be able to hold out much longer, not when he's playing her body like this, as though her pleasure is his favorite song, a melody he knows deep in his bones—

And then she's falling, her orgasm crashing over her and pulling her under, and when she comes back to herself it's his presence that grounds her—strong arms wrapping her up tightly, whispered endearments, his skin warm against hers. This time, when she kisses him, she can taste herself on his lips, and it turns her on anew.

She reaches down between them, runs her palm along the rigid length of him through his sweatpants, relishing his sharp intake of breath at the contact, the way his grip on her tightens involuntarily. She slips her hand beneath the waistband and lets his cock spring free, involuntarily biting her bottom lip at the sight of it, long and thick, pre-cum beading at the slit. She gently rolls back his foreskin and pumps him in her fist, slowly, teasingly, watching as desperation and pleasure chase each other across his features.

Finally Copia grabs her wrist, halting her motions, and pushes her back. "Roll over," he commands, voice gone ragged with need.

He grasps her behind the knee and drapes her leg over his hip, opening her to him, and slots his head against her entrance. She can feel the tension running through his body, the restraint required to work himself into her slowly, to perfectly still and allow her body to adjust before he begins to move inside her. He sets an easy rhythm, hips rolling against her ass. They're too close for him to really thrust, but the amount of contact is delicious. It's like being inside of her isn't enough, like there is no amount of touching that would be too much, like he wishes he had more hands just to worship her body more completely.

She wouldn't have thought that she would be able to get back into it this quickly, but everything is building her pleasure higher and higher—his hand palming her breast, the animal scent of their bodies and the wet, vulgar sounds of their coupling, his breath rough against her ear.

"Touch yourself," he says, and she obeys. Her fingers find her clit swollen, her lips slick with his spit and her own arousal, her lips stretched wide around his cock.

He groans in response, his grip tightening on her, his movements becoming more frantic.

"I'm close," he warns.

Her inner walls clench at the words, and she moans."Come inside me."

"You— fuck— are you sure?"

"The pill." She's so close, fingers moving fast over her clit, and her voice comes out a breathless, impatient whine. "I'm on the pill."

For medical reasons, and now for recreational ones, as well. Thank Satan for the Ministry infirmary and on-site gynecologist.

Copia's rhythm grows more frantic, and Beatrice circles her clit in time to each thrust. The pressure builds inside her until it's almost unbearable, and then she's coming undone again. The fluttering of her cunt pushes Copia over the edge of his own pleasure, and she can feel the warmth of him spilling inside of her, filling her.

He doesn't let her go when it's over, holds her against him as they come down together, breathing synchronized and slowing. When Beatrice falls asleep, their bodies are still tangled together, Copia still softening inside her.

When Beatrice wakes for the second time, she finds herself alone, the mattress behind her empty when she sweeps her hand over it, searching blearily for the arm that was wrapped around her waist when she fell asleep. She feels a momentary pang of something gnarled and unpleasant—but then she smells fresh coffee wafting in from the kitchenette down the hall, and hears footsteps padding toward her.

Copia appears in the door, clad in red sweatpants and a black T-shirt, and when Beatrice puts on her glasses, she finds him regarding her with an almost unbearably fond smile. He just looks at her for a moment—as though relishing the sight of her sitting naked in his bed with the sheets the only thing protecting her modesty-- before crossing the room to sit beside her.

"Good morning," he greets her, pressing a brief, sweet kiss to her lips. "Or, ah, afternoon."

"Afternoon?" she groans. "You should have gotten me up."

Copia makes a dismissive sound. "I couldn't bring myself to, you were resting so well. How are you feeling?"

She considers. "Better. I—" Her words are cut off by the loudly undignified growling of her stomach.

"Hungry?" Copia asks with a smile.

"Apparently."

"How do you feel about pancakes?"

"Very positively."

"And coffee? Or tea?"

"Tea, please. Something with caffeine."

"Earl Grey? Sugar? Milk?" and when she nods emphatically to all three, "I'll go put the kettle on."

Beatrice takes the opportunity to slip into the attached bathroom and take care of other pressing needs. When she comes back out, she finds a steaming cup on a coaster on the bedside table, alongside her rosary and earrings, carefully arranged for her. She doesn't remember doing that last night.

The first sip is perfect, creamy and sweet, and fortified by the caffeine, she pulls on her underwear and borrowed T-shirt, and ventures out of the bedroom.

She's not sure what she was expecting from the papal suite. Something… grander, maybe. More official, less lived-in. It's a pleasant surprise, makes her feel slightly more at ease, even through the awkwardness of being in someone's home for the first time. There's a slightly lumpy old couch that looks like it was chosen more for comfort than for looks, across from a TV and ancient video game console. There's an impressive collection of physical media—movies on VHS and DVD, records and CDs and tapes—that speaks to a similar hoarder instinct in her. Framed posters adorn the walls, overlooking an assortment of nostalgic knick-knacks;

she even catches sight of a lava lamp on her way to the kitchenette, where she finds Copia mixing pancake batter.

"Can I do anything to help?" she asks, feeling useless without anything to do. "Sure." Copia gestures at a bar stool by the kitchen island and grins. "Sit there and keep me company."

She returns his smile. "I can do that."

She ends up keeping him company for the rest of the day. She watches as he makes breakfast, flipping the pancakes with a playful showmanship that makes her giggle. They turn out perfect, topped with berries and maple syrup and a healthy dollop of whipped cream.

They eat. They talk. They put on a campy old Hammer horror movie that they've both seen multiple times, and then promptly get distracted by making out on the couch. Beatrice can't remember the last time she spent an entire day without pants on, or the last time she was so thoroughly content to be exactly where she is.

She makes good faith efforts to not overstay her welcome. "You can tell me to leave. I don't want to take up your whole day."

But he turns down her every offer of a way out, deflecting her words with kisses, reassuring her, "The only thing I have to do today is you," and then making good on the double entendre.

But she can't stay here forever, and as the afternoon creeps into evening, she takes her leave. Even as Copia helps her with the zipper of her dress, he offers, "You can stay tonight, if you want."

"I should go home. If I don't show up tonight, my landlady is going to think I've been murdered."

"You're very safe here, dolcezza. We haven't done human sacrifice since, oh, the '90s, at least."

She turns in his arms and kisses him, pulling back before it can turn into anything compellingly unchaste. "Thank you," she says, palm still on his cheek as he leans into her touch. "For today, and last night, and… everything."

"I should be thanking you." He takes her hand in his and grazes a kiss against her knuckles. "I'll walk you down. We'll, ah, take the back way."

Beatrice guesses that it shouldn't really be a surprise that a building as old as the Abbey, with its long and at times tumultuous history, would have its share of secret passages. It's kind of romantic, she thinks, exciting in a Gothic novel sort of way.

It's only later, back at her apartment and settling into her own bed, that she realizes that Copia was sneaking her out, and that insistent, prickly little voice inside of her begins to ask why.

[sp00kycrumpet]

When Our Paths Cross Again. (Part Two)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: E

Tags: Soft!Joel; pre-outbeak up till end of Season 1; no use of y/n; sometimes Ellie is the adult in the situation

Warnings: swearing; character death; spoilers (if you haven't watched the series/played the game)

Word count; 5,534 out of 22,020

Will also be posted on my AO3

Part One

After a few days, you could tell Joel was getting frustrated. In the snow, everything everywhere looked the same. You could have walked in circles and never known. He squinted at his map in the dying evening light, Ellie dozed off slumped against your side like a dead weight.

"We'll figure it out Joel. Don't worry." You offered softly, Joel sighing and giving a nod as he carefully folded the map back up.

"I think I know where we are anyway. We just gotta find the river." He lightly pinched the bridge of his nose before pushing himself to his feet. "I'm gonna keep watch, you should get some sleep. Ellie will talk your ear off again tomorrow." Before you could argue, he'd picked up his gun and moved to find a vantage point where he could sit and keep an eye on the surroundings as well as the two of you. You watched him quietly before adjusting the blanket draped around Ellie and closed your own eyes to try and sleep for a little bit. It wasn't exactly comfortable huddled up in what was basically an abandoned shed but it was shelter for now.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself alone. Momentarily you panicked they'd abandoned you or something had happened. Until you spotted Ellie's joke book by your feet, a note scrawled on the back page explaining they'd gone to a cabin nearby to see if it was empty or if they could get directions but would be back soon. You groaned and pushed yourself up, grabbing the granola bar Joel had left. You ate it and gathered your things, you weren't sure how long they'd been gone so you decided to go check it out for yourself. Once you had everything, you headed out into the snow - burrowing your face into the collar of the jacket. It was way too big but when it was all that was available, you couldn't exactly be picky. At least it was warm. You followed some footprints across the snow, careful to keep quiet as you picked your way across the open area. You spotted the cabin and quickly moved closer, your heart almost stopping as the door swung open to reveal Joel and Ellie heading out. Ellie stole one of the rabbits hanging by the door as they left, you could hear Joel scolding her as you approached. Suddenly Joel grabbed at his chest and took a moment to lean against a fencepost. You darted over as Ellie babbled at him.

"If you're dead, I'm fucked. We don't know where we're going without you. Joel, what's wrong?" Ellie sounded panicked as Joel tried to wave her off. You had no idea what was going on, but Joel didn't look good.

"I said I'm fine." He snapped, looking over his shoulder at Ellie.

"Hey Joel. Just breathe, okay? It'll be fine." You said softly as you reached to gently cup his face in your hands. He watched you for a moment before pulling back, saying it was just the cold air. You and Ellie exchanged glances before the three of you continue your journey, Ellie telling you about the old couple in the cabin, how the woman made them soup - which Ellie had tipped some into the empty thermos for you - and they'd given directions for where to go from here.

"So we just have to find Tommy and the Fireflies. It's easy. All we have to do is cross the river of death." She muttered, a frown twisting her face momentarily as she tried to explain what the couple had said to her and Joel. You listened to her but kept an eye on Joel the whole time, his moment back there had you concerned. You just needed a moment with him to check in without Ellie overhearing.

You walked for hours, the quiet unnerved you slightly. Conversation dwindled as everyone started to get tired. Eventually the sound of running water broke the silence, you'd finally found the river.

"The river of death… scary." Ellie muttered, staring out at the dark water.

"Don't start. It's getting dark, there's some caves across the river we can set up camp in." You nodded in agreement as Ellie muttered about stealing two rabbits as the three of you headed towards the caves.

"Come on, just a bit further and we'll stop there for the night." Joel muttered, leading the two of you over to a cave where you could set up camp for the night. He set to skinning the rabbit and preparing it to eat while you and Ellie set up a sleeping area. Ellie wandered off to find water so everyone could wash up before eating - her muttering about not wanting to eat with the image of Joel's bloody hands in her mind.

"Hey. You okay?" You asked softly, Joel pausing before shrugging a shoulder and continuing cutting the meat into chunks.

"I'm fine." He mumbled, wiping his knife on the grass when he was done. You sat beside him, looking up at him.

"Joel…" You reached to place a hand on his arm, Joel glancing at your arm before looking up at your face.

"I promise. I'm fine." You sighed softly, knowing he wasn't being completely honest, he placed his hand gently over yours though. His thumb gently tracing along yours, you studied his face for a moment as your heart fluttered in your chest. Your moment was interrupted by Ellie coming back.

"How long till dinner? I'm starving." She said as she came back and dropped to sit down, Joel quickly snatching his hand back as you looked up at her.

"Not long." He muttered, moving to put everything into his little camping pan once the fire was hot enough. You caught the way she looked at you both but was glad she didn't say anything.

After dinner, the three of you just sat around the fire as it got dark. Ellie flicking through her book of puns while you went down to the river to wash up. When you came back, she was at the entrance to the cave with her eyes on the sky.

"Look at that."

"Northern Lights." You breathed, looking up as Ellie looked at you in amazement. "C'mon." You grinned and held out a hand to Ellie, leading her around a few rocks to try and climb higher while Joel stayed by the fire.

"Aurora borealis." She muttered, the two of you standing on a high rock as you stared up at the sky in amazement. You chuckled softly.

"You know the fancy term. Do you know how it works?" Ellie shrugged a little.

"Not really, I read about it forever ago but thought it was one of those urban myth things."

"If I remember rightly… it's caused by electrically charged particles entering the Earth's atmosphere at a super high speed. I'm sure there's a proper in-depth explanation but that's all I remember." You chuckled, Ellie looking at you in awe. "I was a bit of a nerd in high school." Ellie laughed as she nudged you lightly.

"Damn. Course I get stuck in an apocalypse with a nerd." You pulled a face at her, glancing down at Joel from the vantage point. Seeing him rummaging through his bag for something. You looked back at saw Ellie looking at you.

"He's talked about you before y'know." She muttered. "I thought he was lying, someone would willingly spend time with his grumpy ass? But you're cool." You smiled softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and hugging her briefly.

"I'm gonna go check on him, you wanna stay here for a bit?" Ellie nodded, waving you off and her attention was back on the sky. You climbed down carefully and headed over to Joel as he pulled some tape from his bag. He glanced up at you as you smiled.

"You gonna tape up the leftovers?" You teased, Joel snorting softly.

"No leftovers, Ellie ate every last bit. My boots got a hole, just gonna tape it till I can find more." You nodded, holding out a hand for the tape.

"Let me help. You should relax." Joel eyed you for a moment, a declining argument on his tongue before he just relented and handed the tape over. You knelt by his feet, taping up the worn boot and making sure it was secure. You worked quietly, feeling Joel's gaze never leaving your face. Once you were satisfied, you patted his calf and handed it back.

"It'll hold for now." Joel thanked you and shoved the tape back in his bag. "I got a little something, hang on." Joel watched you curiously as you dug into your bag and fished out a little hip flask. "It's not as good as the stuff we used to sell at the restaurant but, it'll do." Uncapping it, you took a swallow of the whiskey and offered it over, Joel paused before he took it from you with a thanks. He took a sip then glanced up as he realised Ellie had climbed higher. Joel whistled to get her attention, telling her to get down. Reluctantly she did as she was told, sitting across from you both as Joel took another sip. Ellie watched him, glancing at you then back to him.

"Can I have some?" You chuckled, Joel swallowing and shaking his head.

"No."

"Just to warm up, c'mon." You nudged Joel gently.

"One sip won't hurt her." You grinned, Joel glanced at you then sighed and offered it over. Ellie practically beamed as she took it from him and took a tentative sip. Her face screwed up a little, handing it back pretty quickly.

"Yup. Still gross." You laughed loudly, taking the flask from Joel and having another sip before putting it back in your bag. You leaned back against the rocks behind you, feeling the warmth from the fire on your face as your gaze wandered back to the sky as a quiet settled over the three of you.

"So. I've been thinking, let's say we find the Fireflies, it all works. They draw my blood, put it in their fancy machines and make a cure…" Ellie started, getting both of your attentions again.

"Okay…" Joel replied, curiosity in his tone.

"Then what. What do we do?"

"There's we." He teased and you couldn't help but smile, you loved seeing the playful banter between them even if Joel tried to keep a straight face.

"Okay fine, whatever. You. You can do anything you want. Where are you going, what are you doing?" Joel paused as he thought about it.

"Never been an option. Maybe, an old farmhouse. Some land. A ranch." You looked over at him, you could imagine him doing that. Maybe he'd let you stay with him, pick up where you left off all those years ago.

"Cool. What kind?" Ellie's voice broke your thought bubble.

"Sheep. I would raise sheep. They're quiet, do what they're told." Joel perked one eyebrow slightly, a dig at Ellie again as you laughed.

"Yeah, yeah okay. So just you and a bunch of sheep. Romantic." Ellie glanced at you, you just glanced at your hands.

"What about you? Were you gonna go?" Joel asked, Ellie taking a moment to pick through her thoughts.

"It's probably cause I grew up in the QZ, behind you is the ocean, ahead of you there's a wall. Where else to look but up? I've read everything I could in the school library. Neil Armstrong. Buzz Aldrin. Jim Lovell. You know who my favourite is?"

"Sally Ride." Joel answered without missing a beat, you nodded a little.

"Sally. Fucking. Ride. Best astronaut name ever." Ellie grinned, her eyes on the sky.

"I used to want to be a teacher… maybe I'll find a settlement somewhere. See if they'll have room for a teacher. Domestic bliss sounds nice honestly." Ellie smiled a little, disappearing into her thoughts for a moment. "You good?" You asked, nudging her foot with yours gently. Ellie looked up, studying the two of you for a moment.

"It'll work right? The vaccine." Her voice suddenly sounded so small, nervous.

"It's a little late to start wonderin'." Joel muttered, folding his arms over his chest as he glanced at you then back to Ellie. She pursed her lips a little.

"I tried. With sam." You blinked, watching her.

"Tried what?" You asked gently, leaning forward slightly as her voice sounded so soft.

"I knew he was infected. And I tried to rub some blood into his bite. I know, I know. Stupid but I wanted to save him." You reached out and took one of her hands in your own, gently rubbing your thumb over her knuckles.

"Ellie… I'm sorry." You said softly, Ellie wrinkling her nose like she was on the verge of tears but refused to let them fall.

"I reckon its a lot more complicated than that. Marlene, she's a lot of things but she's no fool. If she says they can do it, they can do it." Joel said, determination in his voice. You nodded a little.

"There's gotta be something to it if they are so determined to get you there and make this cure Ellie. I've heard so many stories about Fireflies but, I've seen their scientific knowledge is strong. They managed to recreate the cancer drugs that helped save Sam. They can do this too." Ellie nodded, squeezing your hand tightly. You smiled at her, shuffling over to hug her against your side. She leaned into you, her cheek against your shoulder.

"You wanna take first watch or second?" She asked Joel after a moment. Joel rolled his shoulders.

"I'll do both. Get some sleep, dream of sheep ranches on the moon."

"Joel…" You said softly, he just shook his head and adjusted how he was sat. You knew he was determined to be the protector. Maybe his moment earlier in the day had shaken him more than he would care to admit.

Eventually you both dozed off, only for you to wake a few hours later when the fire died down. A shiver woke you and you realised your blanket had slipped off. You sat up to find it in the dim light, glancing over to see Joel had fallen asleep. You chuckled to yourself and silently got up, carefully draping your blanket over him as he slept. You couldn't help but admire him for a moment. Even in a shitty world with an impossible task on his hands, the fates had somehow led you back to each other. It seemed so childish to dwell on it but you couldn't help it. You'd fallen hard for Joel so long ago, it was the last time you'd felt good. Being with him in a tiny coffee shop, squeezing into a tiny booth side by side, his hand holding yours as he laughed and told you some silly thing Sarah had done that day. It was so long ago but still so vivid in your mind. You carefully pried his gun from his sleeping hand and draped it over your shoulder, moving to do a quick check around the perimeter before taking a spot by the entrance. You yawned quietly, your hand covering your mouth. You were tired but determined to keep a lookout. There'd been no sign of anyone around here for a while, no tracks other than your own so you weren't too worried. Hearing a noise behind you, you spun around and saw Ellie heading over, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She glanced at Joel and shook her head.

"He's such a stubborn old man." She whispered to you, pulling her hat on her head with a smile. You nodded, leaning against the rocks beside you.

"He just cares. Joel's never been great with expressing himself. Must be a man thing." You joked, Ellie muffling her laugh into her gloves. You glanced over at him, hearing him stir and mutter.

"He does that a lot. Sometimes it's just noises but sometimes he talks." The corners of her mouth tugged downward slightly, you nodded a little.

"Stress can do that. We don't know what Joel went through before he met us." Ellie nodded, wrapping her arms around herself.

"It's been rough but… I am glad I bumped into you both. Got me out of Kathleen's insanity and finding more joy in things." Ellie smiled at you.

"Nerd." She teased but still smiled as she kicked at a stone. You knew she meant well and was clearly happy for more company. "I saw you two earlier. Holding hands." You felt your cheeks flush a little, clearing your throat.

"I was just making sure he was okay after earlier. Besides I hold your hand a lot too." Ellie opened her mouth to say something else but just nodded a little.

"That was scary. What was that?" She asked, her eyes on Joel. You shrugged a little.

"Could be exhaustion. Could be a panic attack. Could genuinely have been the cold. But we'll look after him between us, okay?" You smiled at her, Ellie nodding before glancing at you.

"Can I have the big gun? Joel never lets me hold it." You snorted softly, Ellie was always so quick to change subjects. But you didn't mind.

"Okay but if he asks, I suggested it so he doesn't nag you." She beamed at you as you carefully draped the strap over her small shoulders and showed her how to hold it properly and use the aim.

The two of you kept watch as the sun rose, taking it in turns to check the surrounding areas. You excused yourself to find somewhere to pee once it was light enough to see around yourself properly. Ellie saluting with a grin before you went.

As you came back, you could hear voices. Joel had woken up in a bit of a panic after realising he'd fallen asleep and his gun was gone.

"Wake me up next time." He scolded as he held out a hand for the gun. Ellie handed it over reluctantly.

"But Joel she was…" She paused as she gestured towards you then sighed. "Yes sir." You fastened your jacket back around yourself as you watched Joel.

"C'mon Joel. You need to sleep sometimes as well, I'm not going to just let you do everything yourself. I know that's what you're used to but, you have me here now okay?" You nodded, Joel watching you for a moment before he just nodded.

"We'll have the last of the soup for breakfast then move out." You and Ellie exchanged glances, she rolled her eyes at his grumpy mood and trudged back inside to pack her things away while you helped get the fire started again. Ellie went to get more wood as you looked at him.

"She's a good kid Joel. She means well." Joel grunted in response as you placed a hand on his arm. "I know it's not easy. But have a little faith in her, okay? Between the three of us, we'll be fine." You smiled at him, reaching to gently brush some dirt from his cheek. His eyes flickered to your hand before back to your face, studying you quietly. You pulled away after a moment, not wanting to make him uncomfortable as you finally got the fire started and moved to pack your things away. Completely aware of Joel's eyes watching your every movement, you smiled to yourself as you finished and used your bag as a seat while you poured the small amount of soup into the camping pan to warm up and share out between you. You glanced up, your eyes meeting Joel's over the fire. Something flickered in his eyes, your heart fluttering as those old feelings bubbled back to the surface and almost past your lips. Stopped by Ellie's return, Joel hiding back behind the emotional walls he'd built around himself almost immediately.

The three of you followed the path Joel had mapped out after the couple had pointed it out, Ellie interjecting the silence with questions or her admission she didn't know how to whistle - prompting you to playfully tease her as you whistled a few songs and tried to teach her how to do it. Unsuccessful but it killed time, you could see Joel relax a little, clearly amused by your interactions. After a few hours you came to a dam, one used to conduct electricity if it worked properly.

"Damn." Ellie said, breaking the quiet and making you laugh out loud. She looked proud of herself as she turned to Joel. "So that made electricity?" Joel glanced her out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't ask me, I don't have a clue." Ellie groaned, throwing her hands up as she carried on walking.

"You coulda made something up, I would have believed you." You snorted softly, nudging Joel lightly with a smile as you passed him. "What about you? Do you know?" You shook your head.

"I don't know. Witchcraft?" You teased, laughing as Ellie just huffed about neither of you being helpful. You glanced back, catching a hint of a smile on Joel's face that warmed your heart. You got closer to the goal, pausing by the river - Ellie insisting on calling it the river of death again as the three of you hid behind a small mound for a moment to look for any signs of life. Joel fired off a shot to see if there was any response.

"For the river of death, it's pretty quiet." She muttered, Joel shaking his head before the three of you headed out into the open land. You were so close now, you only hoped you'd find Tommy and he would help you get Ellie to the Fireflies. The peace was broken by a rumble, Joel instinctively reaching out an arm to put you and Ellie behind him. Your hand instinctively went to your gun as people on horses surrounded you, your heart hammered in your chest as Joel spoke with them. A man ordered you and Ellie to step away and separate. Joel hesitated before telling you to do as they said, that it would be fine. You nodded, squeezing Ellie's hand before stepping away. You looked around at the group, their faces all hidden and guns trained on all three of you. You didn't escape Kathleen or the hoard of infected to be shot dead by some wannabe bandits. Joel tried to reason with them as a man stepped forward with a dog, the apparent leader explaining how she was trained to sniff out infection and how she'd rip any of you apart if she smelt it. Fear crawled up your spine as you thought about Ellie's immunity and the bite hidden on her arm. She may be immune but maybe the infection just lay dormant in her system. The dog sniffed at Joel then moved to you, sniffing at you before growling and heading to Ellie. Your eyes glued to the girl as she glanced at you then the dog. With your hands up, there was no chance of snatching up your gun and protecting her. You held your breath as the dog sniffed at Ellie before welcoming her with a lick to her fingers, Ellie giggling at the feeling before crouching down to pet the dog confidently. You exhaled slowly, glancing at Joel before looking back at the man that spoke. A woman came through a small opening in the group, eyeing Joel as she asked his name. There was something in her eyes as he gave his answer, she turned to the man beside her and said something in his ear. Reluctantly he called everyone to lower their weapons, making a few of them double up so Joel could ride a horse then you and Ellie could ride another. You sat her in front of you, your hands holding the reins and keeping her close.

"That was close." You whispered in her ear once you all got moving.

"Yeah but we don't know what happens now. She seemed to know Joel. Did you see her reaction to him?" You hummed in agreement.

"I got you. Don't worry." You muttered, Ellie leaning back into you in agreement.

The ride was pretty quiet, Ellie unnaturally quiet as she took in her surroundings and took note of everything going on. She was young but experience had made her wise beyond her years at times. You almost envied her sometimes. You were taken to a huge gate, the woman who'd spoken got someone to open it and you were led inside. To a whole town hidden behind these enormous walls. You breathed out, in awe of this little wonderland sprawling before you. Houses, shops, restaurants and all sorts. Kids playing in the snow, families walking around, friends chatting and enjoying the day. It was like a haven that the virus hadn't managed to get to. People were working together, existing peacefully and content with their little home here.

"This is incredible." You muttered, feeling eyes on the three of you as you rode through town. Ellie nodded quietly, the group pausing momentarily.

"Tommy!!" Joel suddenly yelled out, a man a few feet away on some scaffolding stiffening before turning and spotting Joel. Joel slid off of his horse as Tommy came over instantly, the two brothers embracing tightly. Joel laughing a little as tears shone in his eyes at the joy of finally seeing his brother. The men looked at each other before embracing again. Ellie glanced over her shoulder at you as you smiled softly.

"We found him. Side quest complete." You muttered to her before sliding off of the horse from behind her. Joel glanced over as he heard the snow crunch, Tommy following his gaze before he laughed.

"No fucking way." You grinned as you approached.

"Funny, that's exactly what I said when I first saw Joel a few weeks back." You laughed and wrapped the man up in a tight hug. Tommy shook his head as he patted your back, pulling away after a moment.

"C'mon, let's go get you three fed."

The restaurant was lovely. Reminiscent of a log cabin in it's decor and wooden walls, it had a warm atmosphere and the smell of food made your stomach growl instantly. You followed Tommy and the woman from earlier - after introducing her as Maria - to a table, she asked one of the girls working there to get food for the three of you.

"How do we pay for this?" You asked suddenly, Tommy chuckling.

"Call it a welcome gift." He grinned as he sat back in his seat. You nodded a little, glancing around. It felt surreal to be in a restaurant with Joel and Tommy Miller, like the world hadn't changed. Except it was Ellie between you and Joel instead of Sarah. Tommy explained to Maria about how you had met him and Joel, working every shift ever and constantly looking after them like they were royalty.

"Man I lost track of how many freebies you'd sneak us or how you'd use your staff discount when no one was lookin'." You grinned and shrugged.

"You guys became some of my best friends! How could I not treat you well?" You grinned, Tommy just giving a playful smirk - choosing to omit the details of you and Joel going on dates or the cupcakes you made. When the food came, silence fell over the table as you all ate like starving prisoners. It was so nice to have a home cooked meal, which Ellie exclaimed - Joel scolding her to mind her manners. Ellie looked up and over your shoulder, seemingly spotting someone as she yelled out to them.

"She's was just curious. Kids around here don't look or talk like you." Maria said softly. Ellie just shrugged.

"Maybe I'll teach em." She bit back, you could see Joel was rubbing off on her - instantly defensive when she felt on edge. You nudged her under the table with your foot, she glanced at you with a 'what?' expression before turning back to Maria. "And I want my gun back."

"They also aren't armed." Maria answered softly. Tommy cleared his throat a little.

"Y'know I think y'all got off a little on the wrong foot." He said, glancing between the three of you.

"She was gonna have her guys kill us." Ellie scowled, you swallowed and said her name softly to try and get her to calm down.

"We gotta be real careful about who we let in this place. But it's all bark, we just wanna scare off those who might try us is all." Tommy explained, hoping to keep the peace. You nodded in understanding as you put your fork down for now, sipping your tea.

"Well you got a couple of ninty year olds out there shitting themselves."

"Ellie." Joel scolded.

"They said you leave dead bodies around." You sighed softly, pinching the bridge of your nose after shooting Maria and apologetic look, Joel constantly trying to keep the peace.

"Those are the people who tried us." Maria answered, still calm and level as always.

"A bad reputation doesn't mean you're bad." Tommy added.

"Not always at least." Maria interjected, shooting a look at Joel that had you feeling irritated now. You put your cup down and fixed her with a look, opening your mouth to say something when Joel stepped in.

"Ma'am. We're grateful for your hospital and all, but it'd be nice to have a moment here just for family." Joel replied, you exhaled slowly as you swallowed back the comment on the tip of your tongue, Tommy shifting in his seat as he slid his hand into Maria's.

"Well. Maria is family actually." He replied as you spotted the small wedding band on her finger.

"Oh shit. Congrats." Ellie said, Joel just staring at his brother with an unreadable expression on his face. You congratulated them as well before Ellie stared at Joel.

"Joel. Say congrats." She hissed, Joel frowning for a moment before nodding once.

"Congrats." The couple shared a look before Tommy forced a smile.

"How about a tour?" He suggested to break the tension, you nodded in agreement as you pushed your empty plate aside.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you." You said softly, wiping your mouth before leaning back in your seat. Ellie glanced at you while Joel still stared at Tommy with that unreadable expression still on his face. You exhaled slowly, excusing yourself to use the bathroom before you left. It felt weird. This little safe space, the relaxed atmosphere of everyone around you, how Joel had gone from emotionally ecstatic at finding Tommy to cold and unreadable so fast. You took a moment in the bathroom to splash some water on your face and have a second to yourself before rejoining the table. You stacked the empty plates together and tided the table out of habit, glancing up when you felt eyes on you.

"Old habits really do die hard, huh?" Tommy teased with a laugh as you chuckled and realised what you'd done.

"When you worked in the food industry as long as I did, you can't not do the little things to make other servers' jobs easier." The little joke seemed to ease the tension slightly as everyone gathered their things and headed out. Tommy and Maria showed you around, pointing out the different buildings and how they kept everything running. The dam helped give them power and hot water. Your eyes lit up at the mention, the dream of a hot shower had almost died months ago when the hot water had been shut off in the city. They explained how everything worked as you walked towards a little holding, Ellie's face lighting up when a flock of sheep trotted past in a field beside you.

"Hey look Joel!" She grinned over her shoulder at him, imitating the noises the sheep made as they ran past. Maria led you to the stables, introducing Ellie to the newest horse, Shimmer. She cooed over the horse as Joel and Tommy stood back, you glanced over at them - your gaze lingering on Joel to check in before looking back at Ellie. Maria suggested she show you and Ellie around a little more so the men could catch up. Tommy agreed and led Joel away.

"Ellie, best behaviour." He warned, glancing at you. "You'll be okay?" You waved a hand, smiling at him.

"I think we'll be fine. Go." Joel nodded, watching you before turning to follow Tommy. Maria had a questioning look on her face once you turned your attention back to her but she never said anything, instead showed you both around a little more. Introducing you both to the stable hands, showing you the pigs and a little fat barn cat that was lounging on a haybale. After walking around for a while, Maria offered to take you both back to hers for a tea and a shower. You agreed, Ellie shooting you a look before just shrugging and following you both.

(Part Three)