#I'm thinking we're getting young!prowl

[transingthoseformers]

You know, considering the HEAVY IDW influences in earthspark and the recent leak I've received, I'm getting the feeling that earthspark Prowl will be. Quite the trip.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

A drabble of Tfp Prime switching place with his Tfa counterpart over a bridge mishap?

Optimus had experienced his fair share of odd situations throughout his life. That was only natural when you were the leader of the autobots and had lived as long as he had. He had battled space monsters, shapeshifters, old gods, undead.

But he had to admit that interdimensional travel was a first for him.

At least he could feel at ease knowing that he had landed among friends, even if they were a tad different from the versions he knew.

"You're so tall!" the human girl, Sari, exclaimed with awe, eyes shining as she craned her neck to look at him. With her pigtails and excited personality she reminded Optimus a lot of Miko.

The Bumblebee of this dimension did not appear as impressed. He crossed his arms with a humpf and glared at Optimus with critical optics. "Well, he's probably super slow, slower than a snail!"

"I bet he's super strong too..." Other Bulkhead murmured, decidedly more impressed. He stared at Optimus' arms dreamily.

"He's got a strong spiritual presence, that's for sure," the two-wheeler designated Prowl commented. His optics focused on Optimus chestplates, leaning in closer. "And there's something else. It almost feels like-"

"Would people get out of my medbay!?" Ratchet, who appeared to be just as high strung as the one in his own dimension, interrupted. He waved around a datapad like Wheeljack with one of his swords. "We don't know what kind of viruses his world have and if we're susceptible to them! We could have a potential pandemic on our servos!"

"Viruses!?" Bumblebee stomped his pede and pointed an accusing digit at Optimus. "You guys see? This bot is nothing but trouble! I say we send him back to wherever he came from as soon as possible and get our own Optimus back!"

Bulkhead piped up. "That might be more difficult than you think, Bumblebee. You see, he portal that brought him here was due to a space bridge malfunction that quite frankly had a one in 3 billion chance of happening and even if we were to find a way to replicate this we'd also have to find a way to get his dimension do the same thing on their end."

Optimus cocked his head, intrigued. "Do you know a lot about space bridge technology, Bulkhead?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess I know some things," he responded, meekly. He fidgeted with his servos, not quite daring to look Optimus in the optics.

Ratchet interjected. "Don't sell yourself short now," he chided, giving Bulkhead a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Bulkhead here is the foremost expert of space bridge technology. Ain't no bot that knows more about the stuff than he does."

Hearing this, Optimus smiled. "That's incredible! While the Bulkhead I know is a brilliant mech in his own right he does not possess such expertise in space bridges. How brilliant!"

At this, Bulkhead finally managed to meet Optimus' optics. There was a faint blush on his faceplates. "Really? I'm not really all that- Uh, I mean, what's your Bulkhead like?"

Optimus' smile grew fonder. "He's one of the bravest mechs I've ever had the honor of knowing. The only thing that can compare to his immense strength is his kindness." Gazing down at the young bot in front of him, he placed his servo on the his shoulder. "The two of you are appear very much alike, in that regard."

Bulkhead's blush grew in intensity, his optics becoming round like saucers, flickering from Optimus' face to where his servo was on his shoulder back to his face. "Oh geez, I don't know what to, oh stars-"

"What about Bumblebee?" Sari suddenly asked, clambering on top of some barrels to be seen. "When you first appeared you said you had a Bumblebee in your universe as well, right?"

Bumblebee, this universe's version, crossed his arms again. "Whatever kind of person he is, he can't be faster, or more handsome, than me!" He paused. "But yeah, what about him?"

Optimus laughed. "There's no way I can praise him enough. Bumblebee is a true hero, through and through, and he's saved my life more times than I can count."

At this, Bumblebee visibly preened. "Oh yeah? Sounds kinda like me then. You know, I've also saved our Optimus' life a couple of times already." He jabbed a thumb at his chest. "Some call me a hero too."

"I don't doubt it," Optimus replied and somehow Bumblebee managed to puff out his chest even more.

"Yeah, well, why don't you tell me some more about my other dimensional counterpart and my- I mean his, heroic deeds? Just so we can compare notes."

Ratched sighed loudly and dragged a palm down his face. "Great, just what we need, Bumblebee getting yet another ego boost."

Prowl leaned in closer to the medic. "At least he's not openly hostile towards our visitor anymore." The corner of his mouth twitched. "He got so mad when this Optimus asked him if he wasn't too young to be an autobot when they first met."

Ratchet couldn't help but snort. "That alone made all of this worth it. Sigh, I just hope our Optimus is alright."

---------In another dimension---------

"What do you mean I'm the leader of the autobots? Ultra Magnus is right there! What even is a Matrix? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M THE CHOSEN OF GOD?????"

[spunsugarmusings]

Young Frankenstein: The Musical Starter Sentences

Starters from the Mel Brookes' hit musical Young Frankenstein. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"What happened in that castle made our lives a living Hell!"

"We're the happiest town in town!"

"Hold the happiness!"

"Please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?"

"I don't indulge in hijinks or tomfoolery!"

"I live for truth and reason, that's the reason I exist!"

"Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys when stacked against the brain!"

"His reflexes have no freedom to react when I mistreat him."

"Those naughty thoughts are fine with me as long as they stay locked away in your imagination."

"You can savage me and ravage me; I care not what you do."

"Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching."

"Please keep your hands off these."

"It'll be like old time, you and me, right up there with the world's greatest pairs!"

"We've only met in a dream!"

"Up until now it's been the worst time, but now that you're here, we're a team!"

"What good is a stooge if he ain't got a boss?"

"I'm very high spirited, doctor. I hope you won't hold it against me."

"So, have you thought of any ways you could use me?"

"Nothing's better than a hayride, underneath the sun."

"There! There wolves!"

"There wolves, there castle!"

"Don't risk my curse, it could be worse!"

"Join the family business, learn the family trade!"

"Make yourself a monster, and make the world afraid!"

"Follow in our footsteps and you'll earn eternal fame!"

"As you know, predestination, from the day of your creation has determined you vocation, that's a fact!"

"Just relax, create a serum; come up with a brilliant theorum!"

"This is one position that you never can decline!"

"Love dances in on a whim."

"He was a bully and a brute, he was as crazy as a coot!"

"He was my boyfriend!"

"He always treated me like dirt!"

"But I was happy to be hurt!"

"I was an innocent young lamb, and he was a dirty old goat."

"He was the one I gave my heart to, but we were never wed, even so."

"If I'd mention wedlock, he put me in a headlock!"

"When I asked to be his wife, he stabbed me with a kitchen knife!"

"Where did all the good times go?!"

"If he had an angry fit, I was the first thing that he hit! But I didn't give a shit!"

"So, now we hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself."

"Death has ruled without question."

"Tear the night asunder, cast your light upon the dark!"

"Give my creature life!"

"We're considered both a Death and a Tourist Trap."

"Rich and poor are all soft-shoeing it in hotels or huts!"

"Even dogs are also doing it, pedigrees and mutts!"

"Do the Transylvania Mania!"

"Catch the monster before he strikes again!"

"Hello heartaches, goodbye kvellings."

"Let's forget about thinking, thinking's never smart."

"Flush your brain right down the drain, and listen to your heart!"

"Lose your mind, 'cause love is blind, and listen to your heart!"

"You'll find such bliss in the kissin' you're missin'."

"Intellectuals are ineffectuals when it comes to making love."

"Don't resist cupid's dart."

"Everybody loves to get a surprise."

"It all can change, if your fates arrange a nice surprise for you."

"There’s nothing like a wonderful surprise!"

"Here’s what we advise, never bother people with a surprise!"

"It's been so long since I felt the touch of someone's hand."

"Oh, Lord, let's face it, we're talkin' LONELY here!"

"You don't know your left from your right."

"You'll be the greatest creation of man since the invention of fire!"

"You'll be cheered, never feared evermore!"

"You know, until now my life has been nothing but a meaningless world of silly parties."

"Again? Oh, you're incouragable, aren't you?"

"We will take a hay ride when we're on our honeymoon!"

"Even monsters fall in love!"

[writeyouin]

How would the TFA autobots react to an Harley Quinn like character? Think about it! It would be so funny! They have deal with human villains before but never deal with an crazy and bad@ss girl before! Also she kidnapped Sari (for whatever reasons) and was broke up with an ex-boyfriend (can be either headcanons or scenario)

Transformers Animated / Reader Headcanons - Crazy Like Quinn

Optimus Prime

What is wrong with this human? Sari, is it normal for humans to be like... this? No?

Either way, it's up to Team Prime to stop them.

Preferably before they do more damage with that hammer.

Briefly, he thinks the fight might be over after disarming you, but no... there's another weapon. A bat.

He gets rid of that and then, a bazooka. WHERE did you pull that from? Never mind, he doesn't want to know.

Just once, can't a villain like this put their talents to good? How many people could you help if you put that speed, agility, and strength to good use?

Boss-bot is so tired.

Bumblebee

When Bumblebee saw you swinging that hammer... he was a little turned on.

Then you pulled out the many other weapons in your arsenal.

"Hey, this is just like the boss fight in my game!"

He is way too excited about this.

He speeds around you, "Do you like video games too? Is that where you learned those moves?"

You - "I learned those moves from my sweet puddin'"

Bumblebee

You- You're taken. He deflates slightly until you add that you add that you do like video games.

He wants to go back and forth with some witty banter because you're so much fun to play with, but Bulkhead gets involved, trying to grab you, and tells Bee not to get distracted.

Bulkhead

"Bumblebee, we're supposed to be fighting, not making friends."

Although Bulkhead says this, he sounds unsure of himself. You seemed nice when you weren't hitting stuff.

"Hey, clown-human, can we stop fighting, please?"

You put your hand to your cheek, playing coy, then... "NO!"

Bulkhead is beside himself.

Sari told him clowns were supposed to be fun.

He hurries to grab you again and finally manages to catch you in one clawed fist.

You up-kick him in the jaw plate and he reels back.

"No fair," He groans. "Humans aren't supposed to be that strong."

Prowl

While you're pointing and laughing at Bulkhead, Prowl sneaks up behind you.

He throws one of his stars, and you barely dodge it.

"HOLY SHIT! Where the hell did you come from?!"

Prowl attacks again, without passing comment.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"Let's get this over with," Prowl says with a sense of finality.

Yet, through the fight, he can't help but admire your skill. In a match of 1 V 5, you're holding your own remarkably well.

He has a grudging respect for you.

Ratchet

Ratchet doesn't care much for this fight. It's a young bot's game.

At first, he was doing what he could to assist the others.

Now, he's more concerned with stopping you from hurting civilians.

"Pull it together and get this over with, Prime," He gripes at the team leader as he uses his EMP to hold up the crumbling foundations of a building, just long enough for the civilians to escape.

He's already thinking about the repairs he's going to have to give the others when this is all over.

What he would give for an apprentice doctor at times like this.

Sari

This is totally cool. You are such a badass.

She says as much, giving you pause, "You guys fight villains all the time and you think I'm cool? Aww, cute kid."

"Heck yeah! I wish I could do that."

The bots are wondering whose side Sari is on.

"You wanna see something really cool, kid?"

Sari is practically bouncing. What are you going to do next.

You flip over to her and pick her up, hauling her over your shoulder.

"Get ready to see a cool villain base, girly. It's the hottest place to hang out."

Sari knows she should be mad about be ing kidnapped, but she's sure your base will be awesome. Besides, the Autobots will probably rescue her soon.

You throw a smoke-bomb down and are gone. It's a hurried call of "Autobots, Roll Out!" and they are gone to search for you and Sari.

[moonlight-tmd]

Do you think Optimus is more of a figure or more of an overprotective older brother?

SíI honestly don't see Optimus as a father figure because he is very young and much more inexperienced than other Optimus.

For example tfp Optimus.

I also think Ratchet is the grandfather, but a bitter one who can't wait for his end to come. While he may be grumpy and hate that other bots don't know what he knows he definitely cares about his team and would never wish for someone to go through what he did.

(I feel like they could have done a lot more with their relationship with Lockdown)

Bulkhead is a BIG teddy bear. He is very clumsy and has a lot of strength, but if you get to know him he is the sweetest being you will ever meet.

I'm completely convinced that the entire team (including Sari) agreed to take down the first bot or person who mocks Bulkhead.

Prowl clearly lacks a father figure. He was a boy who did not want to participate in the war, but he was dragged, literally, against his will with Yoketron to teach him how to fight.

Her first reaction was to immediately hate him. And who can blame him? But Yoketron wasn't bothered by that and was quite patient in teaching him and I'm sure at some point Prowl called "dad" to him at least once.

(and then he died, but that's not important)

Bumblebee. Do I really need to write it? You already know the answer.

I kinda got confused while reading this but I think we're talking TFA Optimus-

I haven't watched the show but the way I see him is that he's somewhat like a parent figure to the group- except Ratchet, the docbot is more like his parent figure, he's always gone to him for an advice.

Optimus is stern but his team's wellbeing is his top priority. Most of the times he'll act all stoic and cool but he will be soft and gentle when the situation calls for it. He's patient and tries his best to understand what someone else is going thru to help them. He knows the saying "Primes don't party" but sometimes he can be persuaded to be a little silly with the others. Over all he cares about his little found family a lot and tries his best to manouver their situations so that they come out of it alright.

On a side note I do believe few of the members remind him of sparklings. He definitelly has a more parental relationship with Bee in particular; kid has a knack for getting in trouble and Optimus is tired from constantly trying to get him out and cover it up. Bee is not the one to talk about his own feelings so in the rare moments where Op catches him feeling miserable(most often after he had a nightmare) he'll sit with him and talk.

Optimus may be younger than his other version and lack experience in certain areas but he's still willing to try and make things right and learn in the process. Most importantly he's willing to cross lines if it means he can help someone; mechs first, law second.

[skylarkking]

"One In The Same"

A TFA Blitzwing x Mech!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Chapter 3: Speedway

"Optimus! Decepticons are on my tail!" I called over the comlink as both Blitzwing and Lugnut chased after me. "I'm trying to lead them away!"

"Y/D, get your tailpipe out of there! Now!" Ratchet barked over the comlink. "We're closing in on your position, Prime and the others will handle the Decepticons!"

"But -"

"NO BUTS YOUNG BOT!" There was an uncharacteristic panic to his tone, a tone Ratchet only used when he genuinely thought I was in danger.

And I would be a fool to ignore his words.

I skidded into a drift, locking on the Autobots signal and making a beeline for them. I spotted the group and shifted forms, back flipping with blades ejecting out from between my knuckle joints like the human superhero Wolverine.

"ZERE! MORE AUTOBOTS!" Blitzwing yelled as both Decepticons shifted forms.

"Ratchet, Sari, Y/D! Fall back to the ship!" Optimus ordered.

"Yes, sir." I said.

"THE TRIPLE CHANGER STAYS!" Lugnut barked as he fired his missiles. I shoved Ratchet and Sari out of harms way and barely managed to dodge the missiles. The missiles impacted the ground and exploded in a ball of fire, cutting me off from the others by a billow of dense smoke.

"GO GO GO!" I yelled through the smoke.

"KID!" Ratchet called.

"DONT WORRY ABOUT ME! GET SARI TO SAFETY AND GET THE ALLSPARK OUT OF HERE!" I was tackled by Lugnut and pinned to the ground, my blades slashing at his side and leaving trails of energon in its wake. Lugnut let out a bellow and backed off, Prowl and Bulkhead jumping into the fight along with Bumblebee and Optimus.

As I was about to go help them, Blitzwing cut me off, his arms and wings spreading to shield me from the fight.

"Go." He said.

"What?" I questioned.

"Go with your medic. Before zat oaf notices." I hesitated a moment but nodded and took off after Ratchet and into the water. I quickly found the ship along with the medic and human.

"Y/D? How'd you escape?" Sari asked as I entered the ship and shook off the water.

"It's... complicated." I said. "Have you been able to get the ship online?"

"Not yet because SOMEONE," Ratchet said while shooting Sari a scolding glare. "Doesn't want us to leave and won't listen."

"Sari," I said ever so gently as I knelt down next to her. "Why don't you want us to leave?"

"Because you're my friends... and I don't want to be alone!" She sobbed.

"Sari, I don't think any of us want to leave." I said as I picked her up and gently held her against my chassis. "Primus knows i certainly don't. But if we stay, the Decepticons will destroy this planet and everything on it. Including you."

"But... they can't be that bad?" She sniffled.

"Some might not be." I said as I thought about Blitzwing. "But just like humans, you don't know how dangerous someone can be until they show you their true colors. Ratchet and I have both experienced firsthand the horrors of Megatron and his loyalists. They will stop at nothing to get the Allspark." I gently released Sari from the sort of hug and wiped a tear delicately from her face. "We don't want you or this planet to face the same horrors our world has. Do you understand?"

"I... it's not fair." She sniffled.

"I know, Sari. But when it comes to war well, nothing is fair." My expression softened, and a small smile crept on my dermas. "But you can help make it a fair fight." I hooked my digit under her key and lightly lifted it off of her chest. "The Allspark has given you this gift for a reason, one beyond our understanding. It depends on your just as much as it depends on us. It isn't just the lives that currently exist that are at stake but also those yet to come."

Sari paused a long while as she pondered my words before a smile crept on her face.

"How can I help?"

----

"Ratchet, do you think we can get the weapons system online?" I asked the medic as he rummaged around the command bridge.

"With Sari's key, we can give the ship enough juice to launch something." Ratchet said.

"Then you two should get ready, I'll see if I can -" I suddenly froze up, and my optics went white in color, my expression frozen and distant.

"Y/D?" Sari said as she climbed up a nearby stack of crates and waved her hand in front of my face. "Y/D? Yoohoo?"

No response.

"Ratchet, something is wrong with Y/D!" Sari called to the medic. Ratchet turned around and saw my frozen state, his spark dropping to his tanks at the sight.

"Oh scrap, not now!" Ratchet exclaimed.

"What's happening to him?" Sari asked.

"I don't know, it's happened before."

"What do we do?"

"We can worry about Y/D later. Right now, the others need our help."

While the pair were scrambling about trying to get the weapons system back online, I found myself trapped in my own mind, remembering things that never happened.

Or at least I thought so.

"The Enigma is ready to be transported." I heard a voice say.

"And how many were forged?" Another I recognized as Starscream's said

"Only this one. The Autobots attacked the lab before another could be produced."

"Does it have a spark?"

"It does, and it should be entirely loyal to Megatron as he sees fit."

"Excellent." I then heard a set of pedes walk away, and something touched my face, although I couldn't see anything. "I think I'll make some... alterations to you, hm? Make you serve your true Master."

The white light faded from my optics, and I collapsed onto the ground with a crash at the exact same time Sari inserted her key to power the weapons system.

I heard the firing of the weapons followed by a watery explosion. Then I remembered nothing more.

----

"Kid? Kid!" Ratchet called through the black. "Cmon, I know you hear me!"

"Nnng, why are you shouting?" I grumbled as I opened my optics and found I was back in the Autobot base. I groaned and gripped my helm as a throbbing pain ran through it, my optics sceunching tight and my jaws locking up.

"What happened?" I asked.

"We were getting the weapons charged to help Optimus and the others fight off the Decepticons," Sari said. "And you just... stopped working."

"Yeah, that happens sometimes." I chuckled. "Are the others okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." Optimus said, pulling my attention to him. "But maybe it's time you took that break Ratchet suggested you'd take."

"I'm fine, Optimus." I said sternly. "Freeze ups happen sometimes. But thanks for your concern." I rose from the medical berth and headed to my quarters where I laid down and stared up at the ceiling with a blank expression.

I thought about the other times I had a freeze up and realized that out of all of them, this was the only time I had something other than a forced shutdown happen.

"What in Primus is happening to me?"

-------

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[istherewifiinhell]

[ID: 8 audition sheets for the original 1984 Transformer cartoon, for Megatron, Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Starscream, Prowl, Wheeljack and Soundwave. Each contains a short character bio and dialogue to read. There are additional notes in pen on the pages. Full transcription below. Note you can actually find the high res of these and ones for 100 other g1 characters at The Sunbow Marvel Archive

MEGATRON [Pen note] Read Welker! Megatron -- is the leader of the heavies in the show. "The silken evil one" he's sometimes called. Think 30-ish. Is educated, polished. Has a philosophical side to him. Is controlled, thinking, intelligent. Here Megatron and a group of his warriors have just crawled out of volcano into this world -- a new one to him. He surveys the landscape for a moment then speaks…. [Pen note] a zigzag and the word VOCALIZE)

Much time has passed. And we are far from Cybertron… But our mission has not changed. If this land is as filled with resources as we believe it to be, we shall return home with the power to build the ultimate weapon -- a weapon with which we will conquer the universe….!

Below, Megatron model art, and speech bubble has been drawn around the dialogue.

OPTIMUS PRIME [Pen Note] NOBLE!! (its underlined twice) A "man" of character! (Not too fast!) (each word underlined)

Prime -- full name, "Optimus Prime." Age 35-ish. The commander of the good guys. Born leader. Firm, sensitive, cool under pressure, revered by his troops. Here he addresses a group of aliens -- not necessarily enemy -- that he and his patrol group have happened upon unexpectedly. It's possible the aliens will consider Prime and his group as unwelcome intruders. Prime reassures them. [Note: Aliens have called his group "Decepticons"]

We are not Decepticons…/ [Pause to let aliens understand] We're Autobots… from Cybertron… a planet far from the Earth. I am known as Optimus Prime. Understand that we are not here to provoke violence. (Our aim is to stop it.) But, we have come to a moment of truth in this battle and I ask for volunteers from among your ranks to join with us in our cause. (SEVERAL VOLUNTEERS STEP FORWARD) Good! (PRIME SHOUTS OFF TO ONE OF HIS OFFICERS) Make room for these friends We're moving out immediately!

The stage directions have been squared in pen, model art of Prime and his alt mode.

BUMBLBEE [Pen note] -Try cocky "top gun" - Try unsure novice (unlined). An arrow points to his age and says "Young!" BUMBLE BEE is about 19 years old. A young, somewhat inexperienced pilot, he's ordinarily teamed with Wheel Jack, a veteran who can fly anything. On a solo flight, Bumble Bee has gotten into bad weather, and Wheel Jack is trying to talk him down. Here we get Bumble Bee's cockpit end of the conversation held over the emergency frequency.

[Pen note] IN SOMEWHAT OF A "SWEAT" and "Having followed Wheeljack's instructions"

Well, Wheel Jack, I've done it…. I'm up here somewhere, but. (A BEAT) I'm listenin', I'm listenin'!! (A BEAT) Don't yell at me! Your blood pressure can't take it! (A BEAT) And don't threaten me either… I'll… …I'll turn off my radio! (A BEAT) What?!! . (RESIGNED) Yes, I'm listening… (SUDDENLY) Arggghhhh!!!

The stage directions have been squared, a second scream as been crossed out that the bottom of the page.

JAZZZZ [Pen notes] His name rewritten with the normal two Z spelling in a fancy type. ABOUT 28 yrs old NOTE: Casting Scatman Crothers No audition! This has been squared and possibly a different writer has put "Yay!" underlined twice.

JAZZZ -- is Exec to Prime, the Autobot commander. Has a very special relationship with his boss. No "sir"-ing, or saluting… but the job gets done quietly and efficiently. An interesting character, Jazzz's personality is even more interesting because of a certian hip, cool quality in his language. Here Jazzz reports to Prime via the PC (personal com channel). Very much at ease with the skipper, we can sense the confidence the C.O. has in him.

Negative, Prime. I don't think that'll help much. From what we can see up here, North Cybertron's blacker than the inside of a drive shaft. I'm afraid we're runnin' on empty. (JAZZ SEES SOMETHING OFF) Cool it a sec, Prime… We got a little friction needs some lubricatin'..! (HE SHOUTS OFF) Spike!… Get that patrol under cover before the Dee-ceps start checkin' their sights on ya!!

STAR-SCREAM [Pen notes] (A Decepticon) In a bubble Good dialogue! STAR-SCREAM is second in command of the heavies in our show. Think 25-ish. He's a hot-head, envious of his commander's position. Here he's just been given orders to establish the base camp while the commander attends to other matters. A subordinate listens as Star-scream grumbles. [Pen notes] Certain words in the dialogued underlined in indicate the sentence stress, a zigzag labeled "a growl"

Someday I'll be givin' the orders, Rumble. You'll do what I tell ya! I know they say he can't be out-smarted, but I'll find a way.. Everyone has a weakness. And, I'll find his. (CALLING OUT) Alright now, shake things up!!!

Underneath is written "Need model" which is crossed out and "Bacal says CAST LATTA! -K"

PROWL [Pen notes] CALM, COOL. LIKE A CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR. Good dialogue! and something harder to read under his name, maybe "thinker".

PROWL is a senior staff officer. Age… about 30. His duties involve intelligence, logistics, etc., rather than command duties. Serious, studious, and matter of fact, he's highly repected [sic] for his analytical mind. He's great at reading the scopes, determining how long a space journey will take and how much fuel will be required. Here he provides a running account of certain critical info. The style is not unlike that of a very competent surgeon.

Pressure stabilized at four-fifty. Standby to launch outriggers… and… Launch!! (HE CHECKS A SCREEN) Very good… Let's have a look at the acceleration rate… Thank you. (SHARPLY) Main gyros!.. Watch your RPM up there! Please stay within specs!! (TO A FELLOW STAFFER, EASIER AND A BIT PATERNAL) This crew needs a little navigation drill.

WHEEL JACK [Pen notes] Like air controller talking green pilot in for crash landing. Make us feel tension of situation! tension underlined. WHEEL JACK might be your up-through-the-ranks master sergeant. Say acout 40 years old? A tough old pro who can fix or fly anything. His normal assignment teams him with Bumble Bee, a much less experienced younger Autobot, for whom he has a strong paternal affection. Here Bumble Bee is in trouble. Mechanical problems are making his landing difficult. WHEELJACK, on the ground, attempts to talk him down. Some words of the dialogue have been crossed out and shorter more direct one written in. [Pen note] ON R/T (Radio)

Alright, stop talkin', tighten your shocks, and listen to me. You're gonna be okay. Just do what I tell you. Now, ya see that levver down on the floor…? Those pedals either side of it operate the torsion system. Got that…? Okay…gently.. apply pressure to the (SHARPLY) Gently, I said!!! Shoesh!!! (TO SELF) Wait'll I get you down on the ground…!

SOUNDWAVE This page has been doodled on more than the others [Pen notes] Maybe: Think 1st reading that comes to mind, then turn that on its head. The last part all underlined twice. More computer then robot! SOUNDWAVE has no particular age. Of all the robots in the show, he's the least human-like -- the most computerized. Something of a data base, information storage, and communications center all wrapped up in one body. Tending toward being dispassionate. (This is tough. The gamut of computer personalities has been well explored. We're very open to new approaches.) In this cut, we hear some of the informational material Soundwave will handle. Pen notes: some shapes indicating sound affects, and a pronunciation for Iacon "EYE-A-CON"

Attention, Laser Beak… Prepare for flight. Destination: Iacon. Operation: Assimilation. (A WARNING SIGNAL SOUNDS) Laser Beak, Autobot alert!… Transformation required… transformation required. (THE SITUATION RETURNS TO NORMAL) Disclosure averted. Continue reconnaisance under strategic support. Report all contacts. Soundwave complete.

Below, a doodle frames the pound signs that end the page.

These character direction sheets for G1 are so cool

(Source)

[elfmoon3]

A Shadowy Mist Chapter 48 (Transformers Animated story)

Pairings: Prowl x Oc, Bumblebee x Oc, Optimus Prime x Black Arachnia, Oc x Oc

Summary: Meagan's team gets a new member who has a history with the goth girl agent in the past.

Location: The Mansion of Unknown

Director Mavis waited for Meagan at the mansion with the other agents who had their stuff already moved in. They see Shadow Mist and Meagan come up to the driveway as Meagan got off her partner. "Sorry we're late, Mr. Richards wanted to say his goodbyes." She said as she removed her helmet. "That's quite alright, Agent Walker. Your stuff is already in the house. But there was one person in here who kept the place clean for all of you." She said as she opened the door to see a young man with long brown hair and a beard sitting on the couch. "Anthony?" Meagan asked in surprise. "Sup, Meagan, been awhile." Anthony said in an Irish accent. He was dressed as a skater as he got up and skateboarded to the team. "You know him?" Mary asked. "He's my ex-boyfriend and fellow agent." She said as she placed her hand on her face. "They weren't technically dating, though. They just mostly hang out." Patrick said as he and Anthony gave each other a secret handshake that only they knew how to do. "So how'd you two broke up?" Ash asked. "We made a decision to go our separate ways." Meagan answered, explaining that they weren't in love but dated so that they weren't alone. "So you two never kissed?" Razor asked, "Nope!" Anthony answered. "We never even go on dates either." He added. "So you two were a loveless couple?" Grim asked. "Well, it's not like we didn't like each other. We would rather be friends instead." Meagan answered as she did the same handshake with Anthony. "I'm glad you said that cause I'm joining ye." He said, Meagan looked at him with shock, "You are?" She questioned nervously. "Aye, apparently bein' with a bunch of banshees was gettin' annoyin' so when Director Mavis asked me to come to Detroit from Ireland, I couldn't say no. Though the banshees were nice enough to wail me a friendly goodbye." He said as he showed a picture of him and a group of women who were all in white clothes and had white hair. "Those are banshees? They don't look that scary." Skull said in confusion. "Only when they're not screamin'." Anthony said.

Later that night

After picking their rooms and decorating them with whatever decor and furniture they have, the agents decided to call the Autobots and introduce them to Anthony. They waited as seven vehicles came up the driveway. They transformed into their robot forms, which surprised Anthony. Another vehicle came up and transformed into BrakeDown. "Why doesn't he have a symbol?" Anthony asked in confusion. "That's because he's not an Autobot. He's a bounty hunter." Meagan answered. "In training. Don't forget that." BreakDown said as Sari came flying in with her jetpack. Her helm revealed her face. "And I'm part Cybertronian. The name is Sari." She said. "I know who all of ye are, so no introductions are needed." Anthony said, "Director Mavis told me about the Cybertronians both good and bad. And that these decepticons are planning to resurrect the first decepticon in existence." He added. "So who are you going to pick as your partner?" Meagan asked him. "I'm pickin' mister bounty hunter in trainin'." He said in a snarky way. "Hey, the names BreakDown!"BreakDown yelled in anger. "And I don't think it's a good idea to pick me, cause I'm not an Autobot." He said, "But you're also not a Decepticon, so you're fine." Anthony said, "Besides, I like your car form. It's really cool." He complimented. BreakDown sighed, "I guess it's ok, but my mentor won't let me hear the end of it." He said. Then everyone got a sudden report from Captain Fanzone, who said that Starscream was seen flying out of control. "That's unusual con behavior." Meagan said. BreakDown giggled, "I love to see this." He said, chuckling as he transformed into his vehicle mode along with the Autobots. The agents joined their respective Cybertronian partners, and they drove off to see what's wrong with Starscream.

Later, at central Detroit.

Starscream was flying out of control, screaming about something. "GET THIS PEST OFF ME!!" He screamed as he switched to his robot mode and crashed land on the ground. The team made it and saw the whole thing. BreakDown is trying not to laugh but couldn't control it. "Oh my primus!!" He laughed. "Ratchet, can you check on him?" Optimus asked as the docbot went to check the con only to see weird scratches on Starscream. "That's bizarre." He said in confusion. "Starscream, can you hear us?" Optimus asked, Starscream groaned as he got up to look at the Autobots, as Blitzwing and Lugnut came down without attacking. "This better not be a trick." Shadow Mist said as she reached for her sword. "This is not a trick, Miss Shadow Mist. We were on a supply run until Starscream started acting off. Saying that a small creature was in his cockpit." He said as he went to his colleague's aid. "Is it ok if I analyze him in case he lost his processor?" Ratchet asked, "Of course, but just this once." Blitzwing said before switching to his aggressive personality. "And only once, Autobot!!" He yelled as Ratchet scanned Starscream and saw that the con was mentally ok. "Starscream, is what Blitzwing said true?" Meagan asked as she analyzed the scratches. She feels like she recognized them. "Yeah, but why would you Autobots and humans care?" He asked rudely. "I care cause I know what cause these scratches!" Meagan yelled as she showed everyone a file on her tablet. It has a photo of a small creature with big pointed ears, green skin, and bat wings. "What in Primus' name is that?" Bumblebee asked. "It's a gremlin, and as I fear, it's gremlin season." She said as she then saw a gremlin get off Starscream's back and into the sky laughing at him. "Why you little..NO ONE LAUGHS AT THE MIGHTY STARSCREAM!!" He said as he pointed his arm, but it fell down as he hissed in pain. "I think we should head back and be careful of these creatures." Blitzwing said as he grabbed Starscream and flew off with Lugnut after staring at Grim. "Why'd Blitzwing look at you like that?" Anthony asked, "Cause he's my cold rival." Grim answered.

Later at the decepticons' lair

Starscream was getting treated by his female clone Slipstream, "Ouch, watch the scratches!" He yelled at her, "Oh, don't be such a protoform. You're lucky that those Autobots gave you mercy after seeing your condition." She nagged. "It wasn't them that did this to me, femme!!" He yelled as Megatron came to check on his second in command. "And what pray tell did this to you, Starscream?" He asked darkly. Starscream explained to his leader about what Meagan said, and since Megatron knows when Starscream is lying, he sighs. "Then I suggest we get supplies from ground level until these gremlins pass." He said. "And hopefully these creatures won't mess with our resurrection plan." He added as he left. Starscream and Slipstream looked at each other since they're able to fly. They'd be easier targets for these gremlins. "So, how'd you become a nurse bot?" He flirted before getting slapped in the helm.

To be continued...

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers" on YouTube

It's the murder house it's also Grandma's house and the correlation is Grandma to Biden who is president and that's Lori were talking about her QE2 and to the Mac clan McDonald's. And they're saying if you go up there that your clan will be hit but I don't think that it is inoperative until he goes there I think it's an operative code now and it has to do with Puff the magic dragon has to do with the serpent or snake really, but I feel that something that happened there that Mac was involved with or not that they blame him saying that your magical kids or something or after the bones of the Tommy F clone Giants

Zues Hera

That is what the whole thing needs and they had Trump murder his own and they forced it and in the house and it's considered sacrilege and Mac was really mad he found the house moved out there and got even angrier saw the two bullying you and thought they did it because of that and he heard you say think about it he's killing his own people and that's what happened and what it means is his people are all going to die and it look like him and it has something to do with Grandma and Grandpa iCarly who is Biden. And that's what it is too. The whole thing starts coming together it's his clothes and it's their code and it's wicked however it does fit with Georgia stuff too and they all are getting curious and the clans, they know biden's plan and they know the plan of trump and Max and their son and they're rubbing he didn't like madness to our son he's not really dealing with it well it's like a madman you know. It's a bit more to it and Mac has been watching the house and inside move and I know it's doing it. It's a book of Eli which means eternity is lying and keep saying about uor son. There's a few more things that it means is a proactive person says he has a s*** together he's on the prowl all these dumb things he says my son says I've had enough of this s*** it's like 10 million times in normal tolerance of any Satanist which is way up there here and I'm a young person and I can't stand you anymore you don't care so you're done. She says it like this you're done I know how to fight and it's the match my son says it's always been the max and you're a Mac so he's a gas but that's what it is and you're his brother. So it's going on like this we're going to use our smarts and tell you what to do. Back off our son Tommy f or you're all done

Thor Freya

No

Tommy f

Then you're all done

Thor Freya

We also iterate it and we say this in addition you're the brainless a****** making all these stupid noises and threats for the most part and everyone's figuring it out and they're going after you the week you get the more obvious it is these people do it too but it's more control you're idiots are out of control

Olympus

You're a huge f**** Tommy f this is a kid's trick and you fell for it it's probably the clans and you're a p**** trying to kidnap me all the time it's for idiots and they were doing it too but really you're a f**** we're going to prove it too what a piece of s*** you know you're treating somebody with an army size you don't know or proportion like dog s*** and you're going to find out that we're huge in a way that is extremely painful and you won't find anything out about what we are you're such a huge loser if these people are massive losers they're a humongous loser if I can just explain it to you I don't know about the ships you keep telling me about it you stupid f****** loser

Zues Hera

I guess I'm missing something I certainly will see it coming up he says and my shifts will be piloted by what I'm missing and trying to go for all the time I do understand that it's payment for what I'm trying but you're going down

Tommy f

What a f****** p**** and a f**** you think that and threatening an inventor more or less is going to save you how f****** cream puff does it get you're inviting people to slaughter yours and you you stupid little snide b**** just like these bags that's what it is loser

Zues Hera that is what it is and you people are stupid as hell you do it every day you're dying everyday you can't figure it out you're such a useless pile of s*** I'm going after you cuz now you're a threat to just about everybody cuz you're a hopeless out of control desperate f**** Tommy f and we're going after you hard you piece of s*** you shot at my husband three times and you start dying and you still don't get the problem yeah you lost it these people lost it your weak and you got to get the f*** out of here and you're going out and we're going to take you out

We're on it now and we're going after them but boy what weeklings

Olympus

You're Awakening the giant Tommy F and you losers trumpsters and bja every few seconds You're such morons I can't believe how f****** stupid you are

Mac

[transingthoseformers]

Warlord Twitch

So the humans(or human like creatures) that are left are mostly in hiding from the war so yes the young Terrans don't know much if they know anything about humans. So yes Mirage would definitely ask that question and Twitch will tell him about her two human siblings and her humans parents. She's very gentle about it but she does remind Mirage that part of the war is getting revenge for her human siblings passing before they were supposed to

Once Tero explains that he is Thrash Nightshade feels a little bit more comfortable but not a lot and Megatron is sparkbroken because he knows that Optimus wouldn't have picked Thrash at such a young age unless he had no choice.

So a bit of a time line because we're jumping all over the place

End of first war

Prowl starts looking for Tara

Earthspark (15-30 years give or take)

World starts to end (Dot, Alex, Robbie and Mo die)

World ending gets worse (60 years give or take)

New baby terrans (Hot rod, Brainstorm, Mirage and Smokescreen)

Just when you though it was bad the world ending gets worse (20 years)

Nightshade disappears into the woods

More new Terrans (Cyclonus, Slipstream and First Aid)

Optimus puts the trio in Stasis

Thrash becomes Tero, Twitch starts her decent and Hashtag and Starscream get captured

War starts

Twitch starts her search for nightshade (a little less than 30 years in)

Bulkhead comes back and it makes Wheeljack feel guilty (40 years in)

Prowl finds Nightshade (75 Years in)

Halfway point of war (100 Years in)

Umm a bunch of stuff I haven't figured out

Last quarter (150 in)

Megatron wakes up (160 in)

Nightshade and Megatron head to the autobots 2.0 (160 in)

Twitch gets into Nightshades old lab (161 in)

Prowl and Tara finally reunite (170 in)

Hashtag and Starscream are set free (171 in[I might move this up for more interesting consequences])

War ends (about 200 years after start)

Twitch has her "I lost my way" talk with Megatron (3 years after end)

So that's what I have so far

Exactly yes yes yes exactly exactly! I wanna see Twitch telling Mirage stories about Before.

ohhh tero. Nighty is absolutely going through it, Megatron is disoriented, and Tero has been in over his helm for a while now.

The current timeline you just outlined makes sense! In the "we don't know yet" category, we can (possibly?) put in some of the warcrimes that we don't know the specifics of yet, and i think we should also consider who of the older bots n cons might actually be dead-dead.

OO O AND WE CAN BLAME THE QUINTESSONS FOR SOMETHING SOMEWHERE. I'm fucking right but the Quintessons will be in earthspark at some point or another because i mean c'mon think about all the Quintus Prime stuff and the emberstone but also the Dweller (which is one of the Technoorganics™️ which is a thing with the Quintessons and we might see more of those locked away in earth!), the Quintessons will be involved at some point.

May i suggest that at one point the humans tried to do ~stuff~ in the war and well. Shit went down enough to make them choose flight instead of fight

Do you think bases should get destroyed/rebuilt a couple times. Because i do.

First time that Shockwave suggested a MAJOR major warcrime to Twitch, and what about the first time she agreed?

First death of the second war (Does optimus count as this or was it someone else)?

How were the first wave of new non-malto terrans created and what about the second wave? (As in, what is the emberstone doing and what places is it going)

Are there yet again more terrans created after the second war?

How is Breakdown doing after the "loss" of his wife Bumblebee?

[themollyzone]

things that freaked me out recently

Uhhhh you guys ever see this shit?? I was skulking around Bushwick killing time before filming a band perform at a battle of the bands-style competition and needed some energy. To my surprise at the Walgreens was this crazy digital drink window. It was actually dark when I first came upon it, and lit up when I grabbed the handle.

Digitized facsimiles of energy bevraginos! FREAKY! Was I living under a rock? Have I been sleeping on the pixel representation of caffeinated (and otherwise) cans until this moment? The Matrix was a documentary. I went for my new love of the moment, Celsius, in the kiwi guava flavor. I don't think I've ever eaten a real honest to god guava. Should I cop a guava? Digital representation of a beverage representation of a tropical fruit. Zoom in.....enhance.

My woman-doctor's office is in Soho and I make my appointments in the morning, meaning I can get a great Soho experience in the crisp am without having to slice through a phalanx of TikTokers. Of course, everyone I do see in Soho on an early weekday hour is dressed to the nines. One of the most confusing things about 2023 NYC is that even otherwise basic girls wear leather pants now - in the daytime! I always thought of leather pants as 'weeding out the fakes' but we're living in an edgy time, I guess.

Speaking of weekdays, I went to a party with Chris on a Wednesday night. I knew it was going to be an indie sleaze revival type of happening so I wore my Ziemba t-shirt that says FEELINGS ARE REAL and, I think, evokes the STOP BEING POOR Paris Hilton moment. Sitting in the party's locale's little pleather-booth section, I had an out-of-body experience as all around me, young women photographed each other thoroughly. The women were prowling around the banquettes, kicking their feet up in the air, pouting and smirking. As a veteran of many cycles of America's Next Top Model-watching, I could confirm that each of these women had It. They were beautiful and knew their angles.

I felt a daffy sensation of incapacity. I am sooo bad at consciously posing for photographs. My college Facebook albums are full of me and other girls throwing up peace signs, smushed together in group pics with smiling faces turned to the sky like sunflowers, sticking out tongues. God it's like every photo of me taken between 2008 and 2012 is the "let's take a silly one" one. Somewhere around the advent of Instagram, the need for advanced posing solidified, and a generation of women galloped off into a more photogenic sunset without me. I can't get mad at it, it's just one of the ways I'm getting cryogenically frozen in my past youth's time, like Austin Powers in the 1960s. Every time I try to take a photo to evoke the current pose vogue, like making my face look very dead, I end up feeling silly.

Chris took pity on me and did a "photo shoot" and I liked how the pics turned out. In the end I simply just need to be having fun at all times and if I stay still for too long it stops being fun!

The Cobrasnake took a pic of me at the party. I would describe getting photographed by the Cobrasnake as similar to when Javier Bardem used that cattle gun on the guy whose car he was trying to steal. BOOSH! - FLASH! - what the FORK just happened???? I grow old, I grow old....I shall wear the bottoms of my skinny jeans rolled.....

[theshoesofatiredman]

Op this is beautiful. Where do I put the rough rage that runs through me when I think about all of the wasted years? Who do I blame when it seems like everyone else around me was born into the same sinking ship?

I don't know if I have a satisfying answer to your question, but I think for me I needed to put it into words. I wrote a lot when I was heavily deconstructing. I journaled about the parts of my life where religion hurt me. I posted a lot on this blog. Every week in therapy I fought to make space for my emotions to be valid even though they hurt. Especially because they did.

I also needed music, I think. Other people's rage and grief turned into music helped me to feel and process my own. Every night when I drove home I listened to my deconstruction playlist like I was putting on armor, reminding myself that my bitterness and frustration and sense of betrayal had a seat at the table, that they were what I was feeling and it was okay to feel that way. It was okay to hold the anger in my hands.

I started to feel the anger slip through my fingers when I was able to experience the freedom found in life outside religion. In Ursula K. Le Guin's The Tombs of Atuan, the wizard Ged becomes trapped at the hands of a young priestess, Tenar, who was dragged into the cult of the Nameless Ones at the age of six. It is all she has ever known. When she is starting to break free of her religion's hold on her mind, Ged says this to her of her gods:

They have nothing to give. They have no power of making. All their power is to darken and destroy. They cannot leave this place; they are this place; and it should be left to them. They should not be denied nor forgotten, but neither should they be worshiped. The Earth is beautiful, and bright, and kindly, but that is not all. The Earth is also terrible, and dark, and cruel. The rabbit shrieks dying in the green meadows. The mountains clench their great hands full of hidden fire. There are sharks in the sea, and there is cruelty in men’s eyes. And where men worship these things and abase themselves before them, there evil breeds; there places are made in the world where darkness gathers, places given over wholly to the Ones whom we call Nameless, the ancient and holy Powers of the Earth before the Light, the powers of the dark, of ruin, of madness… I think they drove your priestess Kossil mad a long time ago; I think she has prowled these caverns as she prowls the labyrinth of her own self, and now she cannot see the daylight any more. She tells you that the Nameless Ones are dead; only a lost soul, lost to truth, could believe that. They exist. But they are not your Masters. They never were. You are free, Tenar. You were taught to be a slave, but you have broken free.

We do not have to serve an apocalyptic god any longer. We were taught to he his slaves, but we are no longer bound in his chains. We're free.

Eventually Tenar becomes physically free of the cult as well and in that moment we get one of my current favorite passages in all of literature:

A dark hand had let go its lifelong hold upon her heart. But she did not feel joy, as she had in the mountains. She put her head down in her arms and cried, and her cheeks were salt and wet. She cried for the waste of her years in bondage to a useless evil. She wept in pain, because she was free.

I think there is going to be a time of weeping, of mourning our years spent in service to a useless evil. But that's not all there will be.

What she had begun to learn was the weight of liberty. Freedom is a heavy load, a great and strange burden for the spirit to undertake. It is not easy. It is not a gift given, but a choice made, and the choice may be a hard one. The road goes upward towards the light; but the laden traveler may never reach the end of it.

The road goes upwards towards the light. So much love and joy and meaning can be found in life outside religion. The wasted years feel distant when I'm enjoying life with my boyfriend, when I'm surrounded by my queer friend group, when I'm on hikes or cooking dinner or singing Chappell Roan in the car.

Some days I still feel the anger rise up in me, still cry from the years wasted. But life has gotten bigger and fuller since leaving, and the grief and anger smaller in comparison. I hope it will for you too.

One thing I wasn't prepared for in deconstructing was how angry I would feel about having essentially been lied to my whole life. The world isn't ending. The Christian God isn't real. Jesus was a human man and an apocalyptic preacher who thought the world was going to end in his followers' lifetimes, and he was wrong.

Idk, I guess it's a reasonable reaction but I don't know what to do with it. Where can I put my anger, when those who taught these lies to me were indoctrinated themselves? I hold it in my hands.

[emeraldtart]

The Masked Decepticon

Previous

Next

Chapter 9: Fire In The Sky (Part 2)

"Prowl? Bulkhead? Hey, can anyone hear me!!?" Ratchet yelled through the comm. The medic was stunned. It wasn't supposed to be like this...

He looks at Optimus, who is now recharging on the medbay. He tried scanning the young mech's chassis to find what's wrong with him. But he found nothing.

No virus, no malware, and definitely not a bug that Starscream might have planted. Although the last one seems too big of a stretch in the current situation.

"Lugnut, try to connect with the ship. I'll take care of Prime,"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

'Wherever you are... I hope all of you are safe,'

Xxx

The first thing Bumblebee realised when he woke up is that one, he's alive, and two... Oh, Primus, its freezing! Where the heck is he!!?

He tried to take a look around, but everywhere he looked there was only snow and ice. Were they too late? Has Detroit gone through an ice age?

"Bumblebee, you're awake!"

"Sari? What happened?"

"We got blown off by the weather machine. Blitzwing said that we're somewhere in the Arctic,"

"Oh, I see... Wait, what!!?"

"It iz true. But I'm afraid we got separated. And I can't see slag in the freakin' snow!"

"Can't you fly and find everyone from above?"

"Like I said, I can't see anything. And my wings are broken!"

It's true. Blitzwing's wings are in very bad conditions. A part of it had snapped off, and there are some dents on it.

"Holy slag, I didn't even notice that! Are you OK?"

"Do not worry, tiny bee. It already stopped leaking a couple kliks ago,"

"Alright, enough flirting you two," Say Sari.

"We are NOT flirting-"

"Aw, shut up. You're clearly are! Anyway, we need to find Prowl, Bulkhead and Starscream. Blitzwing, do you have some kind of radar or something?"

Blitzwing turned on the radar that was installed in him. He managed to find one spark signal.

"There's someone, but... Its not a spark signal I'm familiar with,"

"Huh? Wait, you're saying there's another Cybertronian other than us on Earth!? How?"

"Don't ask me. Also, it's right under us,"

As soon as Blitzwing finished his sentence, the ground under them started to crack, "Oh, that's not good," Bumblebee fearfully said. "Wen need to go, NOW!" Bumblebee transforms into his altmode and Sari jumped into the car. Blitzwing also transform into his tank altmode to get away.

However, the trio could only get a few meters away as they all fall into the abyss.

"Someone, help!!!" yelled Sari.

Xxx

Bulkhead tapped the comm a few times, trying to get it to work but to no avail, "Fixing his would take a while,"

"Is the radar undamaged? We need to find the rest of our group, first,"

"I can get it to work. But, I'm not sure if it'll do us good in this kind of weather,"

Outside of the Orion, the snowstorm is turning into a full-on blizzard. At the rate things are going, their teammates outside will all freeze to the state of offlining if they sit here any longer.

"Prowl? Where're you going?"

"Bulkhead, stay here and fix the ship. I'll try to search for the others,"

"Oh, acting like the Prime now, are you?"

At the sound of the voice, Prowl drew out his weapon. Starscream stood near the door, wiping out the snow on his chassis.

"Starscream... What are you planning?" Prowl questioned the Decepticon Seeker.

"Nothing. Just saying that it's impossible to search for the others without a proper radar,"

Prowl still hasn't lowered his guard. While it's true that Optimus trusted Starscream, the others didn't. After all, he almost offlined Optimus, Bumblebee and Sari all in the same day.

"Listen, you are still Convoy's allies. I won't do anything, unless if you openly get in my way,"

Prowl stop to think about the Seeker's words. He puts his weapon back, and sighed, "Fine. But no tricks,"

"Alright, Seeker's promise, cross my Spark, and all that. Come on, let's go,"

The two went out of the ship and Starscream transform into his altmode. Prowl leapt on the jet, and the two start their search.

Xxx

"Sari, you're okay?" Bumblebee asked. The girl had been shivering, so he turned on the heater. Unfortunately, even the car heater at maximum setting is unable to keep his human friend warm in the Arctic.

"Y-Yeah... J-J-Just... Cold... Its freezing in here,"

Blitzwing, who was in his root form, looks at Bumblebee, "Put the girl in my cockpit. My heating system might prevent her from getting frozen alive,"

And so, Bumblebee did. Sari released a sigh of relief, "Whew, this is much better. Thanks, Blitz,"

"You're welcome," Blitzwing glanced at Bumblebee and caught him staring, "You're cold?"

"Yeah, obviously,"

Blitzwing carries the yellow bot, surprising him, "Hey, what are you doing, Blitzbrain?"

"Making sure you're not freezing to death,"

Bumblebee simply made a tiny hmph! at Blitzwing's response. Meanwhile, inside Blitzwing's cockpit, Sari is grinning from ear to ear, "Hehe... The ship has sailed,"

Xxx

"See anything?" Starscream asked. "No? Did your radars pick anything up?"

"Nothing- wait, I got something... No,"

Starscream was silent. On his radar was the spark signature of him.

"Starscream? What is it?"

"I... No... I thought... How...?"

Prowl had to grip Starscream as he suddenly dived near a cave made of snow. The cyberninja jumped off as Starscream transform back. The Seeker immediately ran into the cave, Prowl following close behind.

"Starscream, wait!"

'It can't be... I thought I had lose him...!'

Xxx

Sari stared at the glacier in front of her. The three had found a wide room with lots of ice in it. And sitting in the middle was a mech trapped in one of the ice.

"I-Is he alive?"

"He's... He's still online. It seems like he's in a stasis lock, probably after he fell here," Blitzwing explained. He, too, was showed to see another Cybertronian on this planet.

The mech in question is majorly white, with some red lines on his boy and a single blue stripe on his helm. He also had black audials and a blue glass chassis. He is also very huge. Maybe bigger than Megatron, thought Blitzwing.

In spite of that, a pair of wings could be seen, and his face was covered with a mask.

After a moment, Bumblebee spoke up, "So... What do we do? We can't just leave him here,"

Suddenly, loud pedsteps could be heard. From another tunnel, Starscream came running into the room, followed by Prowl.

"Prowl, there you are!"

"Bumblebee, Blitzwing! Wait, where's Sari?"

"She's in here. I'm making sure she's warm," say Blitzwing, pointing at his cockpit. He opened it, and Sari leapt down, "Prowl! How did you find us?"

"Not me, but..."

"Skyfire!"

Everyone look at Starscream, who is looking at the mech in the ice. He was making a face that no one could imagine him make. It was joy, sadness, regret and relief, all at the same time.

"I thought I lost you, my light,"

Wait. What?

Prowl could only utter one word that describe the feeling of everyone in the cave, "Huh?"

Bumblebee looks at Blitzwing, whose mouth was wide open, "Uh... What is he talking about?"

"... I don't know! I've never know Starscream of all mech would have a Conjunx!"

"What's a Conjunx?" asked Sari.

"Eh, it's basically when two bots are in lovey-dovey kinda thing. It can also mean they're bonded,"

"Wait. Starscream is a married man?"

"Yeah,"

"Him?"

"It's a surprise for us, too, alright?"

Everyone snapped out of their shock on the sound of null rays starting up. "Wait, wait, wait! What the heck are you doing!?"

"Freeing Skyfire? What else?"

"If you shoot, the whole thing would fall under us!"

"Uh... Let me melt the ice," Blitzwing offered.

Xxx

Bulkhead wiped the imaginary sweat from his forehelm, "Phew, that should do it. And now..."

"Bulkhead! Are you alright?" Ratchet asks.

"Yeah. I'm waiting for the others to come back,"

The ship's door opened, and Bulkhead saw Blitzwing and Starscream dragging an unfamiliar mech inside.

"Bulkhead, can you help bring him to the medbay?" asked Prowl.

"Whoah, sure, but... Who is he? What happened to him?"

"I'll explain everything later. For now, we need to make sure he's fine," Say Starscream. He helped Bulkhead carry the large white flighframe, and Ratchet's optics widened.

"Ratchet. How's Optimus' condition?" Prowl asked, snapping the old medic bot out of his trance.

"He's waking up. He's a bit disoriented. Unfortunately, I can't find anything wrong with him,"

"I see. We'll be back in Detroit. How's the condition there?"

"Well, it's getting worse. The snow just keep coming and I'm pretty sure we're trapped in the building right now,"

"We're on our way. Just hang in there,"

Xxx

The ship is hovering over the storm's eye. Sari opened the blueprint and pointed to the middle of the plan, "Here's the generator. If we shoot, we can take it down,"

"Why didn't we just do that the first time?"

"Powell would make a fuss about it. But now's not the time. Can you aim for the generator?"

"Sure thing!"

Blitzwing carefully aimed, and blasted towards the machine. Unfortunately, it was unable to pierce through into the power source. He tried multiple shots, but the results are the same.

"Dammit! Now how do we stop this thing?" yelled Bumblebee.

"I think I know someone that can help,"

Everyone looks back and saw the mech. His mask was pulled back, showing his blue optics.

"I think I can demolish it. My null ray is probably strong enough,"

"Really? But you just woke up," say Bumblebee.

"I'm alright, just a little sore. But, I might need some help with aiming. There's only enough energy for one shot,"

Starscream and Blitzwing carefully fly down near the storm, Skyfire being suspended in midair with some thick wire. The white mech aimed his null ray towards the machine, "I need to get closer. Can you lower down just a bit more?"

The two lighter flight frames looks at each other. They slowly lower themselves, and Skyfire smiled, "Alright, brace yourselves!"

"Wait, what did you mean by that?"

Skyfire fired the blast, and the three were momentarily pushed back by the sheer momentum of the weapon. The weather machine exploded into bits, and the blizzard slowly come to an end.

"OK, mission accomplished. Let's go back to ship," say Skyfire.

Bulkhead, who was looking at the weapon in Skyfire's servos sweat dropped, "... How is that weapon for 'protection'?"

Xxx

"You guys done a good job. Still, I'm surprised you guys found a Cybertronian in the Arctic," say Optimus. His processor and voice box is clear. He no longer see anything or talk weirdly.

"Yeah. And you know what? He's Starscream's Conjunx!" say Sari.

Optimus coughed on the oil he's drinking, "Wait, what?"

"Is it that surprising to know I'm a taken mech?"

A synchronised "Yes," is the answer.

Sari sips her hot cocoa and has a devilish grin on her face, "Say, how did you guys meet?"

"Oh, that? It was 2.4 million years ago..."

Xxx

(Flashback)

I used to be a scientist, travelling from planet to planet learning about its climates, its ecosystem and wildlife.

(Hah! You're a nerd!!)

(Your dad's a nerd.)

(Yeah, well... Never mind, just continue your story.)

Anyway, Skyfire asked me to go explore a new planet the Science Department discovered. I was worried, because we barely knew anything about this new planet. But he urged me, and I gave in.

We barely made it to the planet's atmosphere, when we were caught in a solar storm. Skyfire crashed on Earth, and I spent lunar cycles trying to find him.

But I never did.

With a heavy spark, I left him where his chassis might never be found. But when I came back to Cybertron, I was immediately arrested.

I was accused of killing my colleague. I tried getting some of the bots in the higher ranks I know to help defend me, but no one did.

Not even Dion.

They locked me in a prison without any windows. I thought being offlined is a better option that that.

But my trine found out about the injustice. They set me free, and we hid in Kaon, where we found Orion Pax and... Megatronus.

(Flashback ends)

Xxx

Everyone in the room was horrified. Blitzwing looks at Starscream and said, "They didn't give you a chance to defend yourself?"

"I think they think it's a good opportunity to get rid of two possible 'rebels' in the community. Maybe that's why no one wanted to defend me. They're terrified of the punishment waiting them if they did,"

"Wait? I don't get it? How are you rebelling whne you're just doing your job as a scientist?" asked Bulkhead.

"Back in the Golden Age, the Council upheld a strict law about functionalism. If you do a job you're not forged to do, you will be punished. If you try to help the people who rebel against this system, you'll be punished too," Ratchet explained, "That law was discontinued after the war, but bits and pieces of it is still here,"

"Ulchtar? Can I talk with you for a klik?" asked Skyfire. Starscream looks at the other bots in the room before following his conjunx.

Xxx

The two are in a remote area of Detroit. It's just the two of them under the starry night sky.

"So... Its been 2 million years..." Skyfire started.

"Yeah,"

"It felt like it was only yesterday I fell on this planet... I leave you alone where you had to do all those... Horrible things. I- Ulchtar... I'm sor-"

Skyfire's words were cut short when Star- no. Ulchtar grabbed the sides of his helm and pulls him into a kiss.

They pulled back, venting hot air from their turbines, "You don't need to apologise. You're here now. With me. That's all that matters,"

Skyfire's stunned expression turns into that of happiness. He wiped his optics as coolant started to flow from it.

"Crying already? I'm the one who should cry, you know?"

"Oh, shut up! You're optics are leaking, too!"

The two laughed together for the first time in 2 million years. They won't be separated again. That is their promise.

Xxx

(Bonus)

Blackarachnia, who was minding her own business, suddenly saw Starscream with an unfamiliar mech, 'Huh? Who is that bot? I don't think he's with Op-'

'Wha- damn,'

'That's hot,'

'Holy slag they're still going!?'

Blackarachnia decided to get out of there immediately after she realised what's coming next, "I think I need to bleach my optics... Sentinel wasn't kidding when he said fliers are nasty,"

[naiad-dream-way]

What's The Word

Basically decided to go ahead do a little something from this thought the other day! So enjoy!

--------

Prowl didn't know if he would ever get used to these Bots. He had been travelling with them for less than half an orbital cycle

"Do you two ever think before acting?" he signed.

Out of the two of them, Bulkhead appeared to be the only one a shame as his wrecking ball servo was wrapped around a rock he attempted to destroy. The issue was Bumblebee, who didn't look at all please as he was wrapped around the rock by Bulkhead's wrecking ball. How these two ended up in these kinds of situations, the ninja bot didn't know and was somewhat afraid to ask.

"Stop with the lecture! Get us down before Bo-"

"Before what, Bumblebee?"

"...Never mind."

Prowl stood by, watched the repair crew captain came out of the ship, and walk over to where the two Bots had tied themselves up. The medic followed after him, complaining about young Bots and having no sense these solar cycles. There was no need for his help as Prowl watched the captain take his axe and start to break the stone and soon was able to release the two Bots from the trouble that they had found themselves in.

"Can't I leave you two along for a cycle without getting into trouble?" sighed the captain, shaking his head at the two.

"Come on, Boss Bot, we were trying to spice things up. It's so boring to do the same thing, solar cycle after solar cycle. All we do is clear out these space bridges of rocks and space junk," moaned out Bumblebee, throwing his arms into the air. Its moments like this, Prowl had to wonder if the minibot was actually a sparkling with that kind of attitude.

Did he really need a lift that badly to deal with this?

"Look, I know we're on this thankless mission but we're just cogs of the big-"

Prowl moaned as the captain started into his Autobot machine speech. Why? Why did he always do this?

It seems he wasn't the only one frustrated with the captain's tried propaganda-filled words. Bumblebee let out a louder and more frustrated sigh as he and Bulkhead moved to head back to the ship. "Yeah Yeah, move mountains and slag! We heard that all before Boss Bot, don't be an Optimus, basically."

Don't be a what?

"You young Bots and yer slaggin' nonsense slang," grumbled Ratchet, following on after the two, leaving Prowl and their captain behind. "Where did you pick up at fragging scrap."

"Being an Optimus? Everyone at boot camp used it," mumbled Bulkhead. "Suppose to mean you're a failure, or coward...been called that a lot."

"Yeah, it's supposed to be an actual Academy dropout's name," laughed Bumblebee.

"Heard it was some Bot that got like their whole group training excise killed cause they were too scared. They were expelled afterwards and forced to run to the edge of the universe to escape. Maybe cause they wanted to put them into the Trypticon Prison?"

"I heard that the Bot supposedly tried to join the Decepticons, but even they wouldn't take in someone that pathetic."

"Bah! How can you believe in such trash," scoffed Ratchet. "Back in-"

Watching the trio make their way back up into the ship, Prowl sighed and wondered once more why he bothered to stay with these Autobots. Turning to the captain, he found himself in a bit of a curious sight.

How he had his grip around his axe so tight it appeared like the weapon was going to bend from its strength. His face seemed to be so tense. As if he was trying to stop himself from showing some type of emotion. Guilt? Sadness? Anger? Prowl couldn't tell.

"Orion? Are you alright?"

The question seemed to have snapped the captain out of whatever turmoil his processor had going. Orion took to letting his fans cycle as he put away his weapon with a shake of his head.

"I'm fine, Prowl," he said, giving the ninja bot a smile of reassurance as he started to walk on after the rest of the crew.

That was a smile that Prowl didn't believe was real for one nanoklik. Part of him wanted to dig deeper, to ask what was truly bothering Orion. But again, it wasn't any of his business.

Whatever issues these Autobots had, he didn't want any part of it.

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Neil Young with The Trans Band - The Catalyst, Santa Cruz, California, August 13, 1982

Sorry everyone — we're going back to Santa Cruz with Neil Young again! Hey, I'm in charge here. This time, we're checking out the early days of the Trans Band, warming up at the Catalyst just before they set off on a fairly disastrous tour of European stadiums and arenas. Now, when we think of this Neil era, we usually think of his Trans alter ego prowling the stage with a headset and shades, singing "Computer Age" and "Sample and Hold." But that was not really the focus of his '82 shows — they actually boasted very fan-friendly setlists. Plenty of greatest hits, played by a kind of supergroup of Neil's former collaborators. It's as though Young looked back at all his previous bands and grabbed some players at random: Bruce Palmer from the Buffalo Springfield, Ralph Molina from Crazy Horse, Ben Keith from the Stray Gators, Nils Lofgren from the Santa Monica Flyers, Joe Lala from CSNY / Stills-Young Band ...

On paper, it seems like it'd be great. And for the most part on this tape, it is! Maybe the chemistry isn't quite as strong as some of Young's other ensembles (and Lala's congas are definitely an acquired taste), but the vibes are good overall, whether they're jamming out the end of "Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere," or exploring the grooves of "Like An Inca." Neil and Nils get into some good guitar duels on a (relatively hopped-up) "Cortez" and there are some nice harmonies happening on "Birds." Curiously, the techno material is saved for the very end, as though Neil was already a little unsure of this particular direction. But "Sample and Hold" and the Trans remake of "Mr. Soul" are pretty cool and weird, just the way we like it.

[spicycreativity]

Fanfic Appreciation Week Day 7: A Place Where I Can Breathe

Yes, folks, I'm appreciating my own darn fanfic for the final day of Fanfic Appreciation Week because I worked really hard on it and it was a labor of love for/with one of my QPPs, my roommate, the man who got me into Sanders Sides: @\cadeorade-powercade (That's him in the aesthetic board)

Allow me to present the director's commentary for A Place Where I Can Breathe:

Content Warnings: All content warnings mentioned in the fic apply.

Chapter 1: I actually wrote this fairly late in the game. It's meant to serve as a prologue and orient the viewer in the universe, s opposed to staring on Chapter 2, which just throws the viewer in without context. I think it was a good choice, as it also allowed me to introduce the concept of the Sides having power focuses early on.

The Premise: Cade is a Virgil stan and he was getting frustrated looking for Virgil fic. He was finding a lot of stuff written without nuance by young authors, a sort of "by teenagers for teenagers" type deal. We are not teenagers, so we both have a hard time relating to that kind of teen angst fic, as we're not the target audience. So he asked me to write him a Virgil fic and we worked together to identify what plot he wanted, what the Mindscape looked like, and what quirks the Sides have. So a lot of this fic is quite gratuitous and self-indulgent

The Title: Lizzie McAlpine has a song called "Apple Pie" which includes the lyric "I've been running around trying to find a place where I can breathe." Apple Pie SCREAMS Moceit to me, and I had taken notice of the lyric and wanted to use it as the title for a Moceit fic. I didn't really have an idea beyond that, and when Cade asked me to write this fic, I realized it was actually perfect and summed up Virgil's inner struggle quite nicely. So cheers to "A Place Where I Can Breathe," the Moceit Fic That Wasn't

-Cade asked me specifically to include Virgil having a spider and I wrote nearly the whole fic without doing so, then had to go back and sprinkle some references in. I think I managed 2 total.

Chapter 2:

"Uh, how about I hold off on that until I actually see my room?" Virgil stared expectantly at Roman, who bounced on his toes. "Lead on, Macduff."

"That's not the line and you know it," Roman complained, but he turned to lead Virgil to his room. "It's ' lay on, Macduff,' and--"

-This fic was originally supposed to reach a climax with a confrontation between Remus and Roman, and "lay on, Macduff" would come back as a brick joke. Unfortunately, the original ending was a result of me getting tired and lazy, so I had to go back and fix it, and we lost the Roman-Remus confrontation.

It was hard for Virgil to not shudder at the sudden heat and weight on him. With his senses already open and taking in more information than his brain seemed to want to process, touch was an added stressor, more unwanted sensory input.

-Virgil being touch-averse is a direct shoutout to Cade, who is also touch-averse.

Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV.

-Upon first writing, Virgil had already given the upstairs crew his name, so the banner spelled out "VIRIGL" which is way funnier than "ANXEITY." But then his name reveal became a plot point so I had to go back and change it.

-Let! Virgil! Be! Mean!

-Virgil's line about hearing refrigerator noise when Roman talks is another shout-out to Cade, who has leveled that accusation at me

A small, cruel part of him protested at the idea that he would need special treatment and desperately wanted to throw it back in Patton's face. He wasn't a sweetheart, he wasn't a baby. He didn't need to crawl into a blanket fort with Dad just because he was a little stressed.

-Remus calls Janus "Janus Geminus" because I was tired and couldn't come up with a pun. "Geminus" is one of the Roman god Janus' epithets; another is "Pater" meaning "Father." That led to a conversation about Remus deliberately confusing Patton by calling Janus "Daddy," but I couldn't think of a clean way to fit the explanation into the narrative, so I stuck with "Geminus."

Chapter 3:

"There's nothing normal about that! " Roman stared in horror at the coffee massacre Virgil had orchestrated. What had once been a respectable (if not very tasty) cup of black coffee was now part of a 1:1 coffee to milk suspension, the liquid a tasteful shade of tan suitable for business casual trousers or a show-ready chihuahua.

-Cade is a certified Nightmare Man and came up with Virgil's horrifying coffee order after I asked him about it. Keep an eye out for Janus' equally horrifying coffee order later in the fic.

1) Shouts out the fact that Janus is canonically a Dostoevsky fan

Chapter 4:

Janus smiled at him. "Where reason fails, the Devil helps." He fussed with his gloves and straightened his capelet. "It's showtime."

-I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Look at me. Look at me. I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Janus' quoting Raskolnikov serves multiple purposes:

2) Lampshades the fact that Roman just conveniently happened to be alone in the living room, because I didn't want to waste time getting him there. That makes me, the author, the Devil

3) Foreshadows the impending disaster. When Raskolnikov says this line it is because he had planned to commit axe murder. The axe he was planning to steal had been moved, but he finds another, different axe to use. Raskolnikov messes up the murder and ends up killing an innocent witness in addition to his intended target. Janus messes up his manipulation attempt and ends up murdering Roman's self esteem

-I was going to include a reference to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (Remus' line "debauchery and vomit" was originally going to be "blood, love, and rhetoric") but I didn't because... Uh... Hm. Why didn't I do that. Maybe I just forgot about it???

-Roman is too stubborn to manipulate for long and that is a fact.

"I was pretty much done anyway," Remus said. "There's only so much debauchery and vomit you can fit into one story."

-Cade specifically ask me that nobody cry in this fic, but after I had Janus eviscerate Roman I knew he couldn't not cry a little. I kept it to a minimum because there's already a billion fucking fics about [literally any Side] crying on the shoulder of [literally any other Side] and it's really just not interesting to either of us.

-It didn't come up because it doesn't matter, but Thomas dreamed he was participating in the exact Dionysian orgy that took place in The Secret History because it's my fic and I said so.

Chapter 5:

He just sat back and watched and tugged at his hair while Janus spooned mound after mound of crisp white sugar into his mug and Virgil poured his customary eight fluid ounces of milk into his own mug.

-Cade strikes again. Virgil's coffee order is equal amounts milk to coffee; Janus' is equal parts sugar to coffee. He had asked me to include a scene where Roman catches Janus massacring his coffee and is appropriately horrified, but I uhh... Didn't write it. I still might include it as an omake someday.

-I imagine that Roman feels really strongly about dragons vs wyverns, and Remus just pretends to give a shit because he thinks it's funny to wind Roman up. Fortunately for me but unfortunately for my sense of realism in writing, I can't relate because I adore my sister and we get along perfectly almost 100% of the time.

"You shut us down every chance you get!" Remus said, baring his teeth. "How would you like it if your pens never wrote, hm? What would you do with all those thoughts in your head?"

-I do wish I had developed the concept of power focuses a bit more, established rules and such. Basically, Patton is always on the prowl for wrongthink and actively represses it, which in turn breaks or sabotages the Dark Sides' power focus.

Chapter 6: This chapter really should have been Janus and Roman but I was really tired and didn't want to bother with it. Plus, you know, Moceit. This chapter was meant to demonstrate how the characters would get along without Virgil nannying them. There's friction, but everyone is making a conscious, deliberate effort to get along because they love Virgil, and love is a series of choices you make.

I chose "Leo" as the answer for the answer to the crossword clue instead of "Virgo," because my other QPP is a Leo. She'll never read this fic, but I did it anyway because I love her. (Trivia: My sign is Virgo, so it was really a choice between shouting her out and shouting me out, and the last chapter is self-indulgent enough, thank you).

Chapter 7: I was gonna write a fic where all the Sides watched Cats the Musical because I was going through a phase. Then Cade requested this so I combined the two ideas. By this point I was fucking exhausted, and that's the only thing that saved you and the rest of the world from me writing the Sides riffing on the movie scene-by-scene. I could come up with snarky commentary for almost every, if not every single song from the movie.

Most notably, I cut a Patton-Remus interaction where Remus declares his love for Grizabella and Patton gets all staryy-eyed about Remus connecting with the idea of rising above rejection and being loved and accepted only for Remus to shoot him down and explain that he just likes that she got to die in a tire fire.

Other cut scenes include Janus quietly pretending not to go feral over Mister Mistoffelees, Patton full-on fucking sobbing over Grizabella and the kittens, and Logan experiencing a deep, soulful kinship with Munkustrap during Of The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollices (and henceforth introducing the phrase "like herding cats" into his regular vocabulary