#I'm the worst 😅
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A lil something for Whumptober day 10: blow to the head
#I don't think this came out right but I chose to mess up my sleep so i could speedrun this#because I promised myself I would try to post at least some sketches for this#I'm sorry I'm nit used to draw something more than a person like 🧍 but ig it's good to push myself a little 😅#eventully something will come out alright#buut I have to at least try#HI I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAG#or if I want to but I already put some time into this so might aswell lol#lu sky#lu twilight#linked universe#cw blood#ig... b&w poorly drawn <3#whumptober 2024#lu whumptober#I could've finished it later#ill be sooo tired tomorrow#but it b like that#worst part is I wanted to redraw some sketches I had done troughout the year but I didn't do a single thing#this is all I have and I started it like two days ago lol#I don't like posting stuff I made so recently bc it's so easy to miss obvious mistakes but I want to feel like I made something in time...#almost XD#lu fanart#I'll shut up
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That Baldur's Gate 3 cover art with Astarion. But it's Sebille.
#Divinity#Divinity: Original Sin 2#DOS2#Sebille#DOS2 fanart#my stuff#well sort of#attempt#minus the colours and details and background#obviously heavily referenced from the original#I don't think I'd have managed the damn left hand otherwise 😅 and even then it was quite hard#but you know what turned out to be particularly cursed? that dagger surprisingly#being at an angle is the worst thing for any object to do#I tried to make Sebille look close to what her character model looks like in the game but also tried to do one of her cover art outfits#turned out a bit cartoon like but I suppose that's alright#I might try to colour it sometime#I haven't coloured anything yet and I have to figure it out#for now I'm happy I've got as far as I have#also my death grip is really showing on this one haha#I SWEAR I calibrated the pressure settings but yeah#my hand knows only murderous intent
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I love socialising so much, I love my friends, I love talking to people, and while I'm out I have so much fun even when I'm Very Aware I'm just saying something no-one cares about or being annoying and I'm just like ignoring the anxiety
And then I leave and get home and it just Hits and I'm replaying everything I said and it Was All Awful and Omg How Have I Not Driven Everyone Away By Now and maaaaan
Just want to be able to either a) turn down the me-ness of everything I say when I'm out or b) not be trapped in a cycle of rumination when I get back over it. Like either of these would be fine on their own but together it's just, like, Brain. Why?!
#the worst part is i'm probably gonna hit post and then go to bed and then be thinking about having said *this* in the same way 😅😅#ngl it does help being in the julian bashir fandom though#bc he's Deeply Annoying and you all still love him anyway#so hopefully i can get away with being a lil bit annoying too and it'll be forgiven 😅😅
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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What's your favorite rifle for home defense ?
I personally like the X-Shot Insanity Motorized Rage Fire Minigun
#i'm in Canada#i dont need a home defense rifle😅#I've got my bare hands and#worst case a baseball bat
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never ended up posting this here but I still like it so
#fhn#a character for a project moon themed ttrpg I'm in (that hasn't run in a bit)#he's an ex butler and he's more fail than Liliya just cause you expect her to be like that#with him it's more just cause he's the worst#was also experimenting with my style a lot here 😅#merry's scribblings
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Out of curiosity, have you heard the song Different Songs by Set It Off? It's very much a song about that Divorced Couple Vibes.
I haven't! Structurally it sounds kind of like "that's what makes you beautiful", which is kind of sending me back to the horrors of grade school pop music.
I will say, though, I was talking about real life divorced singer/songwriter couple Carly Simon and James Taylor, and a little bit about Fleetwood Mac's Rumors album, which...you know. Real life divorce splattered across the papers as you slowly try to rebuild the direction of your music career and your songwriting becomes evidence of your fallout can't really be compared to much else on sheer level of scale. The rest of your life will be tied up with the hit song you wrote while in love with someone you'll never love the same way again. Their fingerprints are on how people will see you forever.
#sorry I'm the worst person to recommend music to 😅 I have Opinions and all of them are anchored to qualities only perceptible to me#people who are songwriters and got divorced don't count unless their music careers involved the other person#so like. whatever The Civil Wars were up to#faer nonsense#my secret second hobby
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Badly summarised WIP game
Thanks for the tag @graygiantess!
I ... have no idea when I'll actually finish any of these, but what the hell :'D
#tagging no one - as you know me#simultaneously begging not to let this flop and begging to let this flop because don't ask ME when i'll finish shit#do i look like i know???#my fanfic#polls!#torchwood#ok i'm only now noticing i wrote “a more regulars”#obv the “a” shouldn't be there#alas now my mistake is on the internet forever#(at least it's not the worst thing about this post :''D)#also why tf did i set this to 7 days my god#ah well#reblog to spread my bullshit ig..?? 😅🙈
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Someone at the bus stop just asked me what my name was and it took all the restraint in me to not reply with "who's asking? What are you, a cop?" and instead say "[name], what's up?" because she was probably just asking a question. She was like "nothing I'm just saying hi" so was in the position of the ass who had to humbly say "oh. hi."
#sometimes people are just talking 😅#i'm sorry bestie i shouldn't've assumed the worst#i did try to come off as neutral at least#you were just being friendly after all#gods bless and good luck#hashtag trust issues#hashtag probably online and inside too much#hashtag stay humble#op
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Honestly, I’m the same as Cate too, to this day my mind comes back to Soldier Boy Jensen when I’m lonely lol.
#honestly i'm the worst because sometimes i think of him when i'm with another guy 😅#jensen ackles#asks#anon
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柄本 佑 || 「光る君へ」 (2024) · 第十七回 「うつろい」
#柄本佑#tasuku emoto#光る君へ#hikaru kimi e#1x17#made by me#fujiwara no michinaga#藤原道長#the soft smile & shaking head when michikane said to him 'I owe you one'#I was all 🥹🥹🥹🥹#I'm not okay#especially after knowing whats gonna happen to michikane next#poor michinaga#just when he finally started to truly LOVE his brother :'(#and is it the last time he gets to say the word 'aniue'?#oh my goodness😩😩😩😩😩😩😩#also irrelevant cuteness:#the way he asked Tomoko for money!!!!!!!! so fucking cute#Tomoko's older than him/a principal wife so I always feel like he's a bit afraid of her#it's good to see them finally sitting together and talking something that's not about their kids or fathers#(even if it's about politics & infidelity😅)#it's SO HARD to be with michinaga ain't it???#one day he accidentally ran into mahiro and he just STOPPED GOING TO AKIKO-SAMA'S PLACE ALTOGETHER#and LIED about his whereabouts to Tomoko#man you're like. the worst hubby#tbh I feel bad for liking her because of Kaneie but I truly TRULY love seeing scenes where michinaga and akiko-sama are together#idk I just see them as a normal couple. michianaga seemed to care abt her more in the way of a man caring abt his wife#and Kumi-chan's just so smollllll around Tasuku-san#I love their weird chemistry. her bewitching vibe#& they're not even a major thing in this show. I need you to go to akiko-sama's place more michinaga
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I got back to trying to write the Olli/Aleksi fic I mentioned last(?) week, and this is basically how it's going
me: this will be a cute fluffy sfw story
o & a: but what if we kissed... and our hands started to wander... and things got a little heated...
me: sure, a bit of that sounds great 👍 just don't get too carried away!
o & a: *kissing, groaning, neck biting, slight scratching, moaning*
me: okay that's enough! let's go back to the cute fluff and wrap up this fic
o & a: no 😊
me: i won't let you continue. go to bed boys.
o & a: okay!
me: ... wait, i meant, go to bed for some cuddles and sleeping!!
o & a: lol sure 😏 *undressing each other in between heated kisses*
me: i did not see that coming
#characters doing whatever the hell they want is both the best and worst thing about writing#also. the fic i'm writing now is so clumsy but i was like it's just because i haven't written in months and i'm rusty#but last night i took a look at some of the fics i've written earlier and maybe this is just how bad i am at writing 🙈#anyway i still want to get back to writing more because it's lots of fun even if the quality is low#and ofc i have to do nanowrimo also this year so it'd be nice to try to write a few stories before that as warm up#i was thinking of attempting to write a drabble or something for each bc pairing#but actually i might be more tempted to just write some olliallu stories#because i'm in the mood for that and also apparently so far i've written only like 5 olliallu fics and that needs to be fixed#idk we'll see how it goes 🤷♀️😅#not that i think anyone cares about my story ramblings considering i haven't even published any fics lol#just felt like rambling anyway 😂#ALSO if someone is planning to do nanowrimo and wants to talk/rant/panic about it hmu
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i'm no spiders georg, but i just moved my pillow and found a relatively large, dead, house spider right next to where my head usually is while i sleep 😳
i guess it got into my bed and then i must have like, rolled over and crushed it in the night.. 🙁
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It’s almost the end of the year and normally New Year’s Eve makes me miserable even the days before already. I loathed the turn of years, I wanted to cry at that day, sometimes I did, and I didn’t want to see another year with all the shitty days I knew it would bring.
But this time?? The last few weeks I had so many days where I’ve been content and even happy, so many more than the last few years together, and for the first time since I’m 15 maybe I’m not sad that I’m still around for New Years Eve.🖤
#fuck life really can be good#like I know that I will have bad days next year where I will think nothing will ever get better#but maybe I'll find this post and it will remind me that I had that hope#writing an emotional post even without being drunk what's going on with me#but I feel like crying because I'm happy😅#it's so weird to experience when usually the time around the end of the year made me feel the worst#to my 25 old self who doesn't feel tired of life anymore💕
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After the last episode, I was on an all-time fandom high. Now we're coming close to the finale. And I've faced enough trauma from disappointing finales that I'm getting nervous for this one :')
#Daughter#I have a big fear that Kazuki might die#The only clues I have are of Rei hugging (?) some kind of red sweater and the word being pink instead of Buddy red.#Listen I've had a breakdown over finale before. It wasn't fun. So understand why my paranoia is assuming the worst assumptions rn 😅#Either way I still stand that Buddy Daddies is the best anime I've ever watched.#I've enjoyed seeing my buddies become daddies and learning that chasing your happiness is what's most important#I don't post much about BD because I'm on a social media hiatus#But it's been an honour staying along with you BD Fandom o7#Until then I'm knocking on wood about my fear#See you all till then o7#buddy daddies#kurusu kazuki#kazuki kurusu#suwa rei#rei suwa#unasaka miri#miri unasaka
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aaah hi! 💜
i finally found the time to start with the podcast you recommended when in the car today! literally one of the most hilarious yet educational and interesting things I've come across ahshfjgksj. I'm not fully done with the ep about crows yet but i am definitely going to listen to more eps from the podcast! i am loving the whole vibe of it fgsbdhfjs
literally so grateful that u suggested that one lmao genuinely loved it :DD <33
(ps : why does crows fucking in their dead brethren not surprise me in the slightest 😭😭)
ABFSBJBS SAPPHO YOU LISTENED TO IT AAAA ILY SO MUCH FOR THISS 🤧<33
And all of the eps are equally good, but some of my most favorites (if you wanna listen to more) are the ones about old tools/ atlatls (experimental archaeology), Paris catatombs, gorillas, P22 the cougar, gratitude (awesomology), sex and gender, space junk, shipwrecks, vampires, decluttering, computer programming, and tasmanian devils (I have a soft spot for this one, it's the first ep I listened to :'))
abbabdjf sorry for dumping all these on u, take your time ofc, but I just. can't go on enough about how much I love Ologies. Alie Ward might possibly be my most favorite person on earth, cuz even after interviewing like a bajillion scientists she's always like a super excited flappy arms child about everything there is to know all the time and there's just? such a genuine curiosity and love for the world vibe to this little podcast and idk it just fills up my heart ok 😭
(ps: ah yes 😌 crow sex sandwich. also gulls stress ripping grass. they don't teach this in class do they)
#ologies#theres volcanoes‚ demons‚ dark matter‚ penguins‚ adhd‚ foraging‚ dancing spiders‚ ufos‚ human skin bound books‚ you name it#fsdjfsg there are soo many eps honestly and they're all gold T-T#and it's helped me out a great deal to cope with stuff a couple years back too ngl#like how it keeps telling me that I'm not living at the worst time possible#and there's so many interesting things going on outside of this little bubble? it just gets to me :')#..so yea 😅#sorry I took a while with this I was just overwhelmed (w happiness ofc) :]#asks
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