#I'm sure he never cheated himself but he wouldn't have to
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mayasaura · 9 months ago
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Whoa, I knew the seven year time skip was gonna happen, but I was not expecting a cold open seven years after the events of the first game with zero explanation
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crookedteethed · 4 months ago
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⋆ ★ you and rafe having a argument midfuck...
18+ smut (pinv), squirting, cursing, angst, spit kink, high-key toxic relationship, (accused) cheating, Toxic!Manipulative! Rafe, mentions of ocs
a/n: putting this fic out until I'm done writing part two of how I slept with your father. Also thanks for all the love and support 💕
You'd been lying on your side; your leg rested on the curve of Rafe's shoulder. Your hand, the one that wasn't periodically stimulating your clit, had been clenched in a fist with your head resting on top of it. 
Your body moved with each hard thrust of Rafe's thick cock, and though the pleasure of Rafe's length never failed to make you feel good, you stayed there emotionless, staring bitterly into the cerulean color of Rafe's eyes.  
You couldn't help but wonder how you had arrived at this point, where physical pleasure no longer carried any emotional weight. The once-intense connection between you and Rafe had momentarily faded, leaving only a hollow emptiness in its wake.
Rafe had been staring at your glistening slit and your little hole, outstretched and turning red from the never-ending penetration of his cock. 
He figured something was wrong with you because you hadn't moaned, not even when he let a glob of his spit plop down onto your pussy and fucked it inside of you; you usually liked when he did stuff like that. 
And though Rafe could have asked if there was something he'd done wrong (which he was sure he did), he didn't risk it; after all, you'd let him fuck you to sleep, so you couldn't be that mad at him. 
"Switch." he told you, moving your leg from his shoulder and resting both your legs on his sides, where he slotted his body between you and started fucking you in missionary. 
"Do you think Courtney fucks good?" You asked.
Rafe stilled inside you momentarily, taking a moment to match a face to the name "Courtney".
He slowly begins moving inside your warmth, the sound of bodies connecting going "plap...plap...plap".
"Who's Courtney?"
You leaned up to where you rested on your elbows, now your nose, and eyes leveled with Rafe's. 
"Y'know, that red-head chick who bartends at the country club." You said. 
Rafe had told you 'no,' that he didn't know any red-headed girl named Courtney who bartended at the country club, but deep down, he knew exactly who you'd been talking about. Everyone at the country club knew of Courtney--particularly the guys, having given her the nickname "cherry" for her loud red hair and double d size tits. 
"The girl you always give good tips to and always joke with, that's Courtney, that should jog your memory." You said.
Rafe had a feeling you wouldn't let this go, so just as he adjusted himself on his knees, and pulled both of your calfs on his shoulders, He pretends to realize, saying "Ah, that's Courtney."
"Yeah, her." you say.
The both of you stayed silent for a moment, Rafe's cock still plunging deep inside of you. There had been a moment when you'd felt the tip of his cock kiss your g-spot, causing you to roll your eyes to the back of your head and clinch hard around his length.
"Fuckk." he drags, kissing your temples, and squeezing your left breast.
"So, do you think she fucks good?" You ask again.
"Who?" Rafe plays dumb.
"Courtney, who else?"
"How should I know?" Rafe grumbled, agitation wrangling over his face, and as a consequence, his grip on your hips tightened, and he started fucking into you faster, and just for the sake of your comfort, you retracted your legs back to your sides.
You looked down to where you and Rafe connected; it had been a gaudy mess of spit, sweat, and arousal--the result of trying to get yourselves off for hours. 
As Rafe pounded into you, you found it suddenly hard to keep your composer. It was challenging to hold yourself up on your elbows and even more difficult to form a coherent sentence that didn't involve long pauses, quiet moans, and panted 'fucks.' 
But you had to confront Rafe about Courtney. Now would be the only good time, and he couldn't walk away or turn this into a big screaming match. 
He had the serenity of your pussy to keep him calm and rooted. 
So you pushed through the immense feeling of pleasure. 
"Why'd you ask me about Courtney?" 
Rafe may have been cruising on uncharted territory, but he just had to know what you have heard about him recently. 
"Well, you know how every fucking kook goes to the country club?" You asked, and Rafe hadn't said anything. "And you know how all of our friends are kooks and you know how people talk?" Rafe kept fucking into you. 
"I heard while I was away in Venice for my father's birthday, you were seen with Courtney." 
"No shit." Rafe said. "She's the bartender at the Country club, and I go to the bar a lot, y/n." 
And as if it was possible, Rafe brought your ass and pussy closer to him, his cock nudging that spongey spot inside of you repeatedly. 
And though you wanted to drag this moment for as long as possible, you also wanted that knot in your belly to finally snap. 
"Outside of the bar at the Country Club, Ray--Can you rub my clit?" 
Your breath hitched at the rough flesh of Rafe's thumb, circling your little bud. 
"At one of your parties, to be exact." You panted. "Everyone said the whole night you looked like you wanted to fuck her, so that's why I asked; I wanted to know if you think she would fuck better than me; if so, you can fuck her and not me.” you scold.
As time went on, it felt like the amount of pressure Rafe applied to your clit increased, and the feeling of his cock slotting in and out of your cunt seemed to be never-ending, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. 
"Shit." He cursed; you assumed he was close to his peak as well. "And who the hell is everyone?" He said over the sound of flesh slapping into flesh. 
"My friends." You mewled. 
"Those jealous bitches? Trina--isn't she one of your friends? She was practically on my dick all night, but because your friends said I was talking to another girl that's not you, I'm the bad guy? Fuck that." he spat, his thrust getting deeper and deeper--more sloppier. 
"Rafe, I'm--I'm." you moaned. 
"Shut up, I'm talking now. I'm getting sick of your shit, Y/n. Just because of your insecurities, I can't live my life. How am I going to be in a relationship with someone that constantly accuses me of cheating?" 
Just then, as Rafe's hips hitched from him spilling inside of you (unbeknownst to you), you came undone. You'd been a squirter, so you squeezed your eyes tight as your cunt gushed uncontrollably around Rafe's cock. 
Some of your arousal soaked Rafe's pelvis, the sheets of your shared bed, and even some splashed onto your stomach. 
Rafe had gotten to you. 
As he got up and put his disregarded clothes back on, you sat on your knees on the edge of the bed, watching him. 
"I'm sorry, Rafe. Don't be mad at me. I should have thought things through." you cried. 
"You're always saying that shit." He spat, putting his shoes on. 
You brought your palms to your teary eyes as Rafe hovered over you. 
"I expect my bedsheets to be replaced by the time I get back." He said. 
"Where are you going?" you asked him.
"Don't you have a tracker on my car or some shit? You'll find out." He scoffed, and with that being said, he left. 
Truth be told, you hadn't put a tracker on Rafe's car—nor his phone, which he was grateful for because if he had a tracker on him, he wouldn't be picking up Courtney from her shift at the country club, where they would fuck in his car for about an hour, pick up something to eat, probably fuck again, and then he'd drop her off on the south side of the outer banks.
And to be even more truthful, Rafe would feel like him fucking Courtney wouldn't entirely be his fault; after all, he'd gotten the idea from you. 
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arminsumi · 18 days ago
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. . . 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮
Suguru Geto (18+)
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Suguru tying his hands behind his back because his best friend wants you — and he wouldn't get in the way of Satoru's happiness, would he?
► 'I heard that you fell in love... I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby, snap out of it'
+ warnings: MDNI/18+ content, cheating, smoking, sexual tension, angst
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"No, not at all. Don't worry about it." Suguru shook his head in denial.
"You sure? I was under the impression that you wanted her." Satoru said.
"Wow, Satoru, you've known me for how long? And yet still you misunderstand me." he smirked, "I only ever said that she's pretty. That's all."
"Oh!" Satoru blinked, "Okay, good."
"She's probably interested in you — you should go for it." Suguru encouraged.
"Yeah, I think I will. I mean, the worst she could do is say no, right?"
Suguru let out an amused hum, keeping his lips pursed.
As Satoru went over to your table, Suguru watched with a tightening jaw, wishing for the worst — but his wishes fell on deaf ears, he soon realized, as he observed a 'yes' forming on your lips.
... Am I a fool?
Suguru's features twitched in discomfort when he watched you and Satoru hitting it off.
It's fine. I don't like her that much, anyways.
. . . 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝,
and Suguru realized that he was, in fact, a fool. Quite possibly the biggest fool in the world.
Whenever you and Satoru flirted, whenever you kissed, whenever you locked up like lovers so shamelessly and openly in front of him, he felt sick to his stomach — terribly sick. He'd suddenly excuse himself to the bathroom, and tremble over the sink; not quite ready to squeeze the contents out of his stomach, but close to retching.
But weren't you a fool, too?
"Why did you ever think that dating his best friend would bring you closer to him? It's just silly." your friend derided.
"Don't ridicule me. My feelings for Satoru aren't a lie — "
" — yeah right."
" — it's just that I expected them to overpower the feelings I had for Suguru. Can you really blame me? Even you said that Suguru has that something about him."
Yes, that something about Suguru Geto. Many people before you have felt that urge to desperately grab him, sink their claws into him, and never let go. He's never been oblivious to it.
Suguru's so blasé about love. He's the kind of man that doesn't show too much interest — and that's half the fun of it all. There's no pressure; just tie your laces and run after his shadow.
. . . 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠,
and by summer the tension between you and him was growing like a little beast in the pit of your bellies.
Stolen glances. Quiet midnight conversations in the dark hallway. Pathetic flirting quickly covered up as a joke. Lingering hugs. Drunk confessions conveniently 'forgotten' the next day. Walking as if in a daze at your side, side-eyeing you kissing his best friend with an unmissable bitterness shaking his eyelashes.
It was only a matter of time until it all became too much. Who remembers who snapped first? Him or you? Of course you can blame it on drunkenness, but isn't that the reason you got drunk with Satoru's best friend in the first place? So that tomorrow, all the kisses could be excused with "I was drunk, it didn't mean anything".
. . . 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬,
it was more than that; you feeling up his chest and nimbly unbuttoning his white shirt, him pushing you up against the wall, not kissing you like a normal person — tasting and relishing your lips and cheeks and neck like some kind of starved animal, Suguru lured you into his cold, dark bed with full intent to devour you.
"Let me take it off for you." Suguru offered, soft voice shaking with this greedy lust that you can't quite explain.
You complied and let him peel your clothes off your body — and though he did it with haste, he savored every moment.
I'm taking what's supposed to be mine.
That's what he thought, and kept repeating to himself in his head as he unzipped his black skinny jeans and hurried out of them, and slid his boxer briefs down, and got inside you like he didn't care about anyone by any name except yours.
Grunting like he needed this for his whole life, Suguru muttered small dirty things against your neck, hiding his face there.
"... you're so tight, are you sure it doesn't hurt?" turned into "... you're taking it so well" turned into "am I better than him? Tell me I'm better than him, please. what do you mean you 'don't know'? Come on, you can lie to Satoru but don't lie to me... I know I can fuck you better than he can." turned into "Cum for me, baby; let me see how pretty you look when you cum all over a big cock" turned into "... why don't you just stay the night?"
. . . 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚,
because Suguru got a taste of what it's like to wake up with you at his side. It was like a picturesque view; you looking messy and splayed out after a long night sprawled out underneath him.
When he felt his heart pang with the anxiety that he'd never be able to have you to himself, that's when he got out of bed and got dressed, leaving you alone in his bed.
It was a bad idea.
Getting a text from Satoru, shaking your upper arm to wake you, panicking but trying to look composed, seeing his hickeys on your neck — Suguru just went silent with guilt.
What have I done.
He sat on the edge of his bed, the early morning sun just barely streaming in through the gap in the curtains, and he watched you get dressed.
"I need a cigarette." he said anxiously, and got up to go have a smoke on the balcony.
You gave him a weary look and watched him leave. Just as you pulled the last bit of your clothes on your body, he lit up and drew in a deep breath and tainted his lungs with dirty tar and carcinogens.
Walking out onto the balcony, hearing the early morning traffic of Tokyo and seeing the dreary grey of cloudy skies, you stood besides Suguru.
Your attention. That's all he ever wanted. Your attention and a lot of it.
"Sorry." he apologized, lowering his cigarette and putting it out. "I know you don't like it when I smoke."
"You're right; I don't." you said, coming in close and pulling him down for a kiss. "But for some reason, it tastes good on your lips."
He looked down at you with full, black eyes.
"I'm not gonna tell Satoru anything about last night. Are you?"
"No, but I'm thinking of breaking up slowly with him."
"Don't do that. Just forget about me. You love him right?"
You looked away to the skyscrapers and refused to meet Suguru's eyes for a while.
"How am I supposed to forget about you?" you chuckled, "Even if I could, you don't really mean that, do you?"
"... No." Suguru hesitantly replied.
He looked at you shiftily, torn between crying and kissing you or both — a million little and big feelings overwhelmed him. He tried to organize them all, or at least as best he could, and waited for a moment of mental clarity to come over him before speaking again.
"Is it my fault, or have you been thinking of breaking it off with him for a while?"
"It's not your fault, Suguru. It's been a long time coming."
"How long?"
"Since it started. But why are you asking me questions that you know the answer to, Suguru?"
He shrugged, "I just needed clarity."
"Well there's your clarity." you sighed, "I'm gonna take a hot shower."
Suguru looked at you, dying for the moment when your eyes met his gaze, but it didn't come; he stood there unsatisfied and frustrated as you went inside without even paying him a glance, his black eyes on your back.
He rubbed his face, sighed hard, and lit up another cigarette and smoked it while listening to the shower run in the background, just pathetically daydreaming of little fantasies of joining you.
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𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲
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chuluoyi · 11 months ago
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✎ sweet felicity
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- gojo satoru x reader
what do you get the man who already has everything for his birthday?
genre: teeth-rotting fluff and comfort because no—i can't make his birthday angsty ok
note: so this is my entry for the birthday boy <3 this takes place immediately after daddy-to-be, where the first years are still yuta, maki, panda and toge
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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Honestly? Satoru wondered about it a lot these days.
He already has everything he wanted—unparalleled cursed technique, a fairly happy life, a pretty wife, and just recently, a kid on the way.
But his birthday was in a week and it was as clear as a day that you were planning something for him.
“Come on, you can't fool me, sweets.”
He noticed that you had started waking up earlier than usual. Initially, he thought it was due to your morning sickness, but it turned out you were sneaking away to another room for an hour or two and only came out when it was around breakfast time.
Did you really think he wouldn't catch on? Satoru found himself torn between concern and amusement. He didn't want you to strain yourself—especially after your recent fainting spells—and yet a part of him was over the moon by the fact that you did it for him.
His eyes crinkled, twinkling with affection. “You're planning something for my birthday in the mornings lately. That's sweet, but you don't have to, really.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you so sure that it's for your birthday? I never said anything."
"Well, what else could it be? Unless you're cheating on me at six in the morning—"
"I have your spawn inside me, Gojo Satoru—"
"Don't call it ‘spawn’!" Satoru interjected with a theatrical gasp. "It's our very own little munchkin! Our love! Love!"
This was so ridiculous and you couldn't help yourself from giggling. And seeing you like that softened something inside him.
"Really, don't push yourself too hard," he said with a pout, resigned. "You need lots and lots of sleep."
"I'm not a baby, Satoru."
"Half of you is, so it makes you one!"
He was dramatic, but it was his own way to care because your husband was just wired that way.
You sighed, relenting. “Okay, okay… I know my limits. I will stop when I don't feel well, yeah? Besides, I won't have time to do it except in the mornings because I still have classes to teach.” It seemed like he wasn’t satisfied with your answer so you added, “Just so you know, it's something I enjoy too.”
"Hmph," Satoru huffed, eyeing you petulantly. "It'd better be good, or I'll spank you."
If it were physically possible for your eyes to roll a full 360 degrees into the back of your head and back, they definitely would have. "Oh, you will adore it, I promise."
Well, it wasn't a part of the plan, but now that he had asked for it, you'd definitely add a twist in his gift...
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Satoru connected the dots instantly when he saw yarn and needles—what else were you doing aside from knitting?
His sweet wife, who woke up early just to make a handmade gift for his birthday—ahh, his heart could've burst. It was so cute and so you, the warmhearted being that you were.
He would go back early today, he decided, as he strolled the halls of the Jujutsu High with a cheerful tune. You were certainly waiting back at home and he would shower you with love and praise just for your efforts alone these past few days.
And so, he would have never expected that when he received a call from Nanami that afternoon, his world would utterly shatter in the most terrifying way.
“Gojo-san, please, you must come back.” Nanami was always steadfast even in the direst situations. And yet, now he was breathing hard, and panicking. “Something happened. You must go back to your residence—”
In that moment all he could think of was you and his baby. His entire world. Were you hurt?
He didn’t dwell on it—or rather, he couldn’t. His fingers went to rip his blindfold off as a sense of exponential dread creeped in and threatened to engulf him whole—a very, very strange, unfamiliar feeling to him—and he teleported back to his haven in a blink of an eye.
He had been ready to unleash hell, to see you lying on your own pool of blood, or anything. No, that was something he could never be ready for, but he would somehow make it right—
“Ooh, there he is!”
“Already?!”
“Nevermind—”
—and suddenly, he was swept into a whirlwind of confusion and commotion.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOJO-SENSEI!”
Today is December 7.
It took a while for Satoru to discern everything, with his pulsating heartbeats and the rush of emotions that overwhelmed him. His eyes darted from each and every face who were suddenly in his house, searching for yours—
“Satoru!” you greeted him from behind Nanami, radiantly beaming, and only then could he finally breathe. You are safe—you’re well—
You had meant for it as a joke, a little payback for all the grievances he had caused you—and let’s not forget, Nanami—but you immediately regretted it when you had a look over the absolute terror in his heavenly blue eyes that you loved so much.
You had seen this once, before, when he proposed to you.
“Satoru.” You waltzed towards him, gently cradling his stunned face in your hands. “Hey,” you coaxed him with an apologetic smile, reassuring him of your presence.
Satoru looked at you squarely in the eyes, and as he fully took in the sight of you, he let out a shuddering breath and pulled you close with a firm arm around your waist and and the other around your back.
“You evil woman,” he murmured in your ears, and you could feel the slight tremble of his body and the way his heart was still thumping wildly inside his sturdy chest, which made you feel even more sorry.
“Whoa, that got you good, huh?” Panda remarked with a bemused grin.
“As expected,” Megumi snorted.
“Salmon! Salmon!”
“Ehh, that’s actually sweet…” Maki noted thoughtfully. “I would have never expected him to drop everything that fast just to go back here only after a suspicious phone call—”
“Of course he would!” Yuta rebuked with pride. “It’s his wife after all! And Nanami-san truly did a really convincing job at it!”
Nanami. Satoru casted a stern glare toward his junior, while the man in question awkwardly coughed. How did you even involve him in this?
Nah, he would deal with him later.
Despite the scare that got him good, your little plan commenced as it should. The closest of his friends and students were there to throw him this silly birthday party, as well as shower him with a plethora of gifts.
You had managed to round up his students to write birthday wishes for him in a scrap book filled with various photographs throughout the past year. This is sweet, he thought.
And one note tugged at his heartstrings the most:
Thank you, sensei, for everything — Yuta.
If anything he did ever made an impact on those young sorcerers, then Satoru was wholeheartedly glad. He wanted them to grow and made their own path in this unforgiving world, and their gratitude stirred a profound sense of relief within him.
“Here.” He was genuinely surprised when Megumi abruptly pushed a long, thin box toward him next, shyly averting his gaze. “Happy birthday.”
A fountain pen. It must have costed him some. It was strange, but Satoru felt oddly emotional.
The kid was barely six when he first approached him. He was prickly and sour and definitely wasn't welcoming. And then, he had matured right before his eyes. Satoru couldn’t help ruffling his hair vigorously and snickered, disregarding the scowl directed his way.
Nanami extended his well-wishes, and even though he still had a score to settle with him later, he was happy to have him here. Shoko couldn’t come but she left you with a recorded message.
“Happy birthday, Gojo, idiot,” Shoko was grinning in the video you played. “I'm sorry I can't be there, but my wish is for you to tone down your antics. We could all use a bit less of that.”
The two remaining reminders of the bluest spring in his life. Something pricked his heart at the stark reminder that they were not whole—and if only that someone was here, they would—but the fact that these two thought of him was enough.
And now, at last, it was time for your gift. Satoru thought he knew what it was, but as he carefully opened the ivory box, a profound sense of warmth still washed over him.
Mittens, with the color of freshly fallen snow, lay in the box—two pairs in total. One was remarkably tiny, seemingly tailored for a baby, while the other was notably larger, undoubtedly meant for him.
You. Him. The baby. By this time next year, there would be three of you. The happy picture of all of you together in near future was a gift in and of itself. You two are his everything.
Satoru went by his instincts and grasped your arm, crashing his lips against yours ardently, beaming with the broadest grin. He paid no heed to the squeals and disapproving glances from everyone around, as he felt entitled to do so—declaring his love boldly so you would know… that he was utterly, hopelessly in love with you.
That he was grateful for you in this otherwise dreary life.
And that if there were any other lives he might live after this ended... then he hoped the heavens would always bring you back to him—and for you to always choose him just like this, no matter what.
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Epilogue
“So you really did call Nanami at six in the morning.”
Later that night, just before bed, your husband was still holding a grudge on you for frightening him back in the day, evident by the permanent purse of his lips.
You shrugged, buttoning the last button of your sleepwear. “I did… but it’s for greater purpose, so… yeah.”
“I can’t stand this. I’m suing you for collateral damage.”
You almost laughed. “Pffft—what? What damage—”
“My fragile heart! You can’t do that to me and expect I won’t charge you!”
“Well…” You noted with a meaningful smile. You couldn’t say you didn’t expect this, because Satoru always got pouty whenever he was irked in one way or another, and so in advance, you had actually been prepared for this.
You caught him off guard when you suddenly sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers teasing his undercut. It was a nice change of pace, seeing the faint blush coloring his cheeks as he steadied you by your waist.
“…what if I say… I still have one present left for you?”
So, what did you get a man who already has everything for his birthday?
Your whole heart, of course.
And if you were in the mood for an additional surprise, a brand new pair of lacy lingerie you had under your pajamas might do the trick.
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reiderwriter · 5 months ago
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🌙 Like You Did With Her 🌙
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Spencer Reid x female! Reader
Part of the CM Kink Bingo Challenge
Requested: Can I request Spencer x female!reader who are in an established relationship and she sees him kiss cat that one time. And once the case is over she’s not actually mad cause she understands he had to but she kinda plays it up a bit like ‘I don’t think you’ve ever kissed me like that’
Warnings: BDSM themes, dom! Spencer Reid, mentions of cheating, voyeurism, cuckolding, exhibitionism, bondage, handcuffs, penetrative sex (P in V), consensual degradation (use of whore and slut), anal play, cum play, implied unprotected sex, unconventional sex location (non-public), rough sex, clit stimulation, etc.
A/N: Additional warning - you may not see God's blessing if you read on. To say I got carried away would be an understatement. If you're reading this and you know me, do not ask questions. Simply separate the art from the artist. It's what I want (I'm being dramatic).
Masterlist || Bingo Board
You'd promised Spencer that you wouldn't let Cat Adams or anything she said or did get to you. You'd waven him off on his “date,” kissed him goodbye, and then sat on his couch for hours worrying.
And you'd kept worrying as the hours passed, until you'd heard voices in the hallway and then movement, and the door was opening and you saw it.
Your boyfriend savagely pushing another woman up against a wall, fighting for control, his large hands spread wide and tensed against skin, his lips sucking and kissing and preening, and showing his control.
You watched for entirely too long before you accidentally made your presence known.
It was a game to Cat, and you knew enough about her to know that you couldn't show any reaction. You didn't know if she'd only get more dangerous if she knew just how much you'd enjoyed watching that.
You held the conversation still, letting Spencer push at whatever game it was he was playing with Cat, but you weren't wholly there. Instead, your mind was playing the comparison game.
You loved Spencer. Spencer loved you. When you had sex with Spencer, it was clear that Spencer loved you.
And maybe love was all there was to it because based on what you'd now seen, there wasn't exactly that much heat when you did it.
If he could be so rough - and you wanted him to be rough - then why wasn't he being rough with you?
He may have been playing games with Cat, but you'd fucked him enough to know the subtle postures of his arousal. You caught it in the way he held himself, the way his breathing hitched, the way he was looking.
Not just at her, but at you, too. As if he were caught between the two of you, unsure who to force to their knees first.
So you let him do the talking and tried to distract yourself from a moment of arousal that you feared would never be satisfied.
To your credit, you lasted two weeks. You hadn't made love to him that night because it was too soon, and he was desperately grovelling in apology for something you weren't angry about in the slightest.
Sure, you should've been angry. If not because he'd made out with another woman than he'd made out with a sociopathic serial killer specifically, one who'd made his life a misery. But you couldn't bring yourself to be upset when your hands worked their way between your legs every time you thought about it.
A week after, he caught you pleasuring yourself, and he'd taken over, kissing you gently and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
His touch was pathetically gentle, and after you came, he rolled off the bed and took himself to the bathroom, leaving you alone.
A week after that, he initiated sex again, but it was soft, sweet, and so warm that you felt almost ashamed for wanting him to choke you out even just a little bit.
Spencer wasn't exactly unaware of your preoccupation.
You hadn't kissed him without frowning in two weeks, and you hadn't initiated anything sexual yourself. There was still the casual intimacy, the friendship, the I Love You’s, but you seemed distant and he knew he fucked up.
You drew a line in the sand when he started coming home with flowers.
“Spencer-? What is this?” You said as he pushed the bouquet into your hands, kissing you hello as he walked through the door.
“Flowers. Lilies, to be specific, you like lilies, right? I didn't ask, I should've asked-”
“Why did you buy me flowers?” You said, still just staring at him and the guilt on his face.
“I thought - You like flowers.”
“I do. But I also like to know the reason behind the flowers, so spill.”
He hesitated for a moment and let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair as he looked between you and the flowers.
“Lilies are apology flowers.”
“Spencer,” you said, almost exasperated, throwing your hand sin the air and walking back to the kitchen.
“You're upset. You're obviously upset. I kissed Cat, and-”
“You did a little more than kiss her.”
“Y/N,” his voice getting slightly deeper, his voice warning you to tread lightly. “You're jealous.”
“I already told you I'm not,” you said, even though that was half a lie. “It's just-”
“Just what? Jealousy? Speak to me, Y/N, you've been ignoring me all week.”
His brow was furrowed, his stress evident in the hard lines of his body, his stiff shoulders, the line of his mouth. You wanted to keep pressing his buttons until that anger, that stress, boiled over, and you got to experience what Cat had.
“Sorry,” you said, dropping the lilies on the counter in your kitchen and turning around to face him once again. “I haven't been ignoring you, though. Ignoring someone is when you make out with another woman in a doorway, not knowing your girlfriend is sitting on a couch watching the entire thing.”
“Y/N!”
“What? I'm not allowed to tell the truth now? Are you afraid you'll feel too guilty?”
“I am so sorry, Y/N, it was-”
“I'm not.” You said quickly as he stepped forward. You knew that if you let him get further in his apology, he'd bundle you up in his arms, and gently carry you away to kiss and hug and cuddle and have sex in the most dignified, loving way imaginable. You didn't want that.
“What?”
“I'm not sorry. I lied earlier. I'm not sorry, I'm fucking envious.”
You slid your hands down his chest as he stilled again, watching g your hand descend to the front of his pants. You grabbed his belt and pulled him closer.
“Spencer, why have you never fucked me like that?”
His eyes widened in shock, but they quickly flicked back to your hands as you slowly unbuckled his belt.
“I… I didn't fuck her, let's get that straight.”
“I know,” you said, leaning up to whisper in his ear. “I was watching.”
His hands gripped the counter as he stared at you straight-faced, finally locking eyes with you as you pulled his belt free and dropped it to the floor.
“I don't want to treat you the way I treated her,” he said, voice quieter but still full of tension, as if ready to shout at any second.
“You don't want to fuck me?” You asked, even as you grabbed his cock through his pants, taunting him with the fact that he did. You knew he did, because you held the evidence in your hand.
“No…! Yes, I do, but not... like that.”
“Not like what?” You said, pushing his shirt up and out of his pants so your hands had more room to explore, fewer layers of clothing to obstruct.
“Like… like a… fuck, stop distracting me.”
“I'm not distracting you, I'm trying to prove to you that this is meaningless and that you should bend me over and fuck me like a cheap whore.”
“Y/N!” he said, either exasperated, or desperately horny from your grip on his hard cock.
He grabbed your hand and pulled it away from him, pinning it against the counter with his own.
“Stop.”
“No,” you spat back at him, pressing closer to him and wiggling your hand free so it could stroke his dick again. “Not until you make me.”
His lips dropped to yours in a kiss, but this time, you could tell you'd made progress. An annoyed harrumph echoed through the kiss, and you fought his tongue back as he tried to take control of your mouth, attempting to gently lead as he always did.
“Y/N,” he moaned, as your hands fought off his to fondle his cock, unbuttoning his pants and pulling it free as you stroked it gently, teasingly.
You had to show him a taste of his own medicine.
“Y/N, we need to talk, keep your hands to yourself.”
“No,” you said, stroking harder, spotting into your hand while keeping eye contact with him. “Unless you want to try and stop me?”
He watched your hand fall back to his cock, watched you tease the tip with one small stroke, then another, and then another.
And then he finally broke.
He pushed your hands off quickly, twisting one arm up and around your back, pinning it there as he grabbed his handcuffs and attached your hands together behind your back.
“Spencer!” you gasped.
“Cheap whore? That's what you wanted?” He said, pulling your hips back so his cock could nestle in the fabric of your skirt.
You nodded, rolling your shoulders to test the limits of your new restraints. Restraints you knew had been on Cat two weeks ago. You wondered if he was thinking about her now as his cock got harder and harder. You wondered why that turned you on so much.
“Okay. I'll give you what you want, but don't complain after.”
“Please, like you could actually hurt me that much.”
His hand immediately crept up to your neck and wrapped around it delicately. He didn't press down, but the threat was there as he leant down to whisper in your ear.
“Y/N?” You nodded in response, not chancing talking back. “Shut the fuck up.”
His hands pulled your skirt up first, and you found yourself without underwear just as fast, though you felt it suspended between your knees. He ran a finger through your folds, pushing your legs wider with one hand as the other grabbed a fistful of hair and slowly forced your head onto the counter.
This was new. All of this was new. The position, the location, the emotion. The handcuffs. You struggled against them again but didn't say a word, as his hand gently came down on your bare ass.
“Ah,” you cried out in surprise, jumping slightly as you felt the impact.
“I said be quiet,” he said from behind you, inspecting your pretty pink pussy as you displayed yourself for him.
One finger slowly slid into you, and you bit your lip to hold back a moan. It was joined by a second finger, and then he started moving them.
He'd touched you before, buried himself deep inside even, but this new angle felt different, and your eyes rolled shut as he pumped in and out. With two weeks of frustration, you were perfectly wet for him already, and you were almost embarrassed about the wet sounds his ministrations were causing already.
“S-Spencer,” you moaned, pushing your hips back into him, in time with his fingers.
He pulled out his hands and slapped your ass again, hard, as you cried out.
“You want to be treated like a cheap whore, but even they follow instructions, Y/N.”
You heard him spit on his hands again, and then his digits returned.
Except they didn't return to your pussy, but a spot higher up.
His fingers lubed up your ass with his spit and your arousal as he gently slid a finger into your ass, and you cried out in shock, or pain, or arousal, or whatever it was that had your head sagging to the counter, your legs lifting onto your tiptoes to allow him better access to your holes.
“You're even tighter here than there…” he said, almost curiously, as of transfixed by watching his fingers enter and exit you.
You were so distracted by his fingers, you barely noticed his cock probing at your pussy before it slid into you entirely.
You really couldn't help the mess you made of the kitchen counter. When he pushed into you, he used his free hand to lift your leg slightly, and inadvertently pushed your clit into the edge of the kitchen counter. With every thrust of fingers and hips, you ground into the edge, pussy flooding with juices as you were stimulated on all fronts.
You almost begged him to play with your nipples as well, just to see what the experience would feel like, how hard you could cum when every area of your body was being bombarded with pleasure.
As it was, the cock and handcuffs probably would've been enough. But you felt the shame of your arousal dripping down your leg, piddling at your feet. You heard him questioning which part of the experience it was that had led to you being such a desperate slut.
Was it his cock? Was it the fingers in your ass? Was it the handcuffs? Was it the fact that you were still imagining him doing exactly this to another woman while you watched on?
You didn't know, and he didn't degrade you further by asking.
His hand gripped your hair again, pulling you back harshly so your back arched, and your clit painfully pushed down into the edge of the counter.
With a scream - a loud, sudden, uncontrollable thing - you came, letting loose a torrent of cum down your leg.
Still, he kept thrusting, but he let go of his previous vow of silence.
“You are such a cheap whore, aren't you?” He said, removing his finger from your ass, hands gently gripping your hips as he pulled your ass cheeks, inspecting how far he'd stretched you, how much your hole gaped open.
“You've been so jealous that I wasn't tossing you around all this time. My cock could've been buried inside someone else, and you'd have enjoyed that. Wouldn't you?”
You could only moan in response, too scared to confirm or deny. You wanted more.
“You know, Y/N,” he started, leaning down to your ear again, squishing you painfully against the hard counter. “Cheap whores don't deserve cream pies.”
Just as you approached another climax, he pulled out of you, letting you crumple to the floor without his weight counterbalancing your own.
Then he hooked a finger under your jaw and lifted your head up. He barely managed to grunt out “close your eyes” before his cum was shooting out over your face.
“Fuck, I'm sorry, I love you… I love you, I love you, I love you, I love-”
Your lips parted in shock as a spurt hit your chin, your eyes. It was even in your hair. He aimed after that and managed to get a good amount of it on your tongue as you grimaced away from his hold.
But his hands held you still, and you swallowed it, even wiping the spurts from your cheek and eyes and licking off your hands as you cleaned up.
When he was finished, Spencer let you go and leaned back against the kitchen counter. When you could open your eyes again, you stared up at him in shock before collapsing down and laying on the cold floor of your kitchen, chest heaving.
“I knew…. I knew it would be more…” you said, unable to find the words to describe the deeds you'd just done.
“But I wasn't expecting… most of that.”
“I'm so-”
“Do not fucking apologise,” you demanded, pointing a stern finger at him as he pulled himself together.
“Next time you bring flowers home, I'm going to be expecting that as a follow up,” you laughed, letting him help you off the floor and release you from your constraints.
“So,” he said, playing with the cuffs as he gave you an awkward, straight smile. “Bondage, huh?”
You burst into laughter as you grabbed him by the tie and pulled him all the way to the bathroom.
“By the way,” you said, beginning to strip yourself off, distracted only by your attempts to strip him off as well. “You're cleaning the kitchen after we're done.”
2K notes · View notes
restinslices · 3 months ago
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Believe Me
Gwayne Hightower X Female!Reader
Word Count: 2792
Summary: Gwayne bumps into an old flame and smut ensues (from his pov)
Content Warning: Smut (so minors dni), fingering, handjob, cheating, light hair pulling, light degrading and praising, vaginal sex, public sex (I hate this but we move on😭)
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Gwayne Hightower was only human, and as a show of this, he had made plenty of mistakes in his lifetime. “It is not worth the stress to beat yourself over what could have been” he'd always remind himself. “What could've been if you chose the right card, woke up earlier, listened more, aimed a little to the left, ate breakfast…”. 
The list went on and on because humans make mistakes all the time. He had vowed to himself that he would never stress over these mistakes. What good would it do? The mistake was already made. 
That's the thought process he tried to keep as he made his way inside the Sept. He was not afraid of the gods deciding to punish him for the sins he was sure he had committed, or of the building crumbling down and burying him underneath. The current war going on wasn't even on his mind. 
What was on his mind was a singular person. And as he got closer and closer to the room he knew they'd be in, the thick fog covering their face in his memories started to move to the side. 
Further. 
Further. 
His steps began to falter when he finally saw them. When he finally saw you. 
You were sitting on the bench, back to him, candles aplenty in front of you. Just as he thought about turning around and leaving, you took off your cloak and set it next to you, revealing the open back to your dress. 
You were inviting him. Discarding your defenses and showing that you were open to being around him again. Or mayhaps he was delusional. Either way, he found himself sitting on the other side of you soon enough. 
“Is that really a dress appropriate for the Sept?” he tried to joke with you as he lit a candle. If it was a different time, you would've lightly shoved him and said something like “oh fuck off” while laughing. Unfortunately, that time had been long forgotten. 
You looked over at him at once, and he wondered if for a moment you thought all this was a dream. You looked him up and down, and must've realized this was all real. “Gwayne…” how could you say his name in such a delightful way? 
The surprise from your eyes soon fell, and instead it filled with resentment. “Gwayne” you said more lifeless. “Anyone is welcome here. A common whore could come, wearing hardly any clothes and she'd be welcomed”. 
“I'm sure common whores do lots of cumming”. 
You simply rolled your eyes at him and looked in front of you. “A jest, dear friend-”
“We are not friends”. 
He had known it, but fuck did it hurt to hear. It was said so coldly and cruel, like you wanted it to sting. It definitely had, though he wouldn't show it. 
“We have not talked in some time” he said with his eyes still trained on you. How could you sit there and be so beautiful? Even with a scowl and pinched eyebrows, you looked marvelous. “When I heard my sister had summoned you here as well, I admit I was a bit surprised”. 
“Why? Alicent is in need of a friend. And I am her friend”. 
Well you really knew how to rub something in, didn't you? “I tried writing to you-”
“Years too late” 
You snapped, eyes glancing over at him. Okay, mayhaps you were right. Mayhaps he should've wrote to you sooner, but he eventually did! That had to be worth something! “Why are you here?”. 
“I thought anyone was allowed here”
“It is the gods you should be speaking to. Not I”
“It is not the gods I crave” he spoke honestly. You simply scoffed in return and looked away again, causing him to sigh. “I should have wrote to you sooner, but I did eventually. And I am here now-”
“To do your knightly duties” you said dismissively. “Not to speak with me”. 
“I can do both!” his hand found your arm and he pulled you close to him, making your legs press against each other. He could hear how your breath hitched. He could see the way your chest rose and fell as a reaction to his touch. 
His fingers inched closer to your chest. “What are you-” you began to say, but the words got caught in your throat when he wrapped his fingers around the long necklace that fell in the long V neck of your dress, right in between your breasts. 
“You've kept this?”. 
Years ago, Gwayne gifted you a necklace with a large green pendant, and while the chain was completely different, the pendant was still the same. “Did the chain break?”. 
You shook your head. “No. My husband gave me a new chain. Said gold fit better”. 
He frowned. 
Your husband. Some boring guy with brown hair, brown eyes, patches in his beard and a voice that was far too high for a man. He had no real talents or skill, besides money and luck. That's how he landed you after all. 
“It is best for both of us that you do your praying and then leave. I imagine I will not be ready to leave anytime soon”. 
The moment his hand fell from your arm, he felt cold. He forced himself to look away from you and focus on the candle in front of him. So what was he to do now? Just let you go? Go off to war and accept that he'd likely never see you again? Accept you'd hate him forever?
“No” he answered himself out loud. “No. I am to just accept that your husband messed with a gift I gave you?”. 
“I beg your pardon?” You asked in disbelief. “That is what you are focusing on? That your gift was ruined?” You scoffed again and rubbed your temples. “Selfish as always. Nevermind to ask how I feel or how I have been. No. It is just stupid jokes and being offended. Did my gift put a dent in your pocket? Here then!”. You unclipped the necklace, grabbed his hand and shoved the necklace on his palm. “Take it!”. 
His chuckle afterwards was filled with bitterness. Here he was, trying to patch things up, and you kept making it difficult. “This resentment you hold towards me is ridiculous. I took too long to write to you after your marriage, but I'm here now. And this-” he set the necklace on the table. “This is a gift I gave to you”. 
“My husband gives me plenty of gifts. I do not need anything from you”. 
As if his gifts were anything special. Probably cheap and terrible material. You deserved more than that. You deserved more than some husband that probably couldn't even make you laugh the way Gwayne had. 
“Husband this. Husband that. Does shoving him in my face excite you?”. Maybe he had no right to be angry, but he was anyway. 
“I wouldn't be able to if you vied for my hand when you had the chance!” You snapped. For once, Gwayne had no response. No witty comeback or complaint. He just watched you as you realized what you said. You huffed, grabbed your cloak and got to your feet. “Good day Gwayne”. 
You managed to make it a few feet away before he finally spoke. “I should have”. Regret had gnawed at him for years now. He let you slip away. Why? Because he wasn't sure he could be committed. Did he love you? Yes. Was he a young man that wasn't fond of becoming a husband and a father? Also yes. 
“You have to understand,” he began as he rose to his feet. “Marriage was not something I wanted at the time”. 
“And you think I did?” You asked in disbelief. “Marriage was not something I wanted either. It was forced upon me. Marriage terrified me, but I knew that if I was married to you, marriage wouldn't be that bad. You were my best friend and lover. And what did you do, Gwayne?”. He couldn't make the answer leave his lips. The words felt like they were stuck in his throat and refused to go anywhere. “You left me” you answered for him. “And once I was married, you avoided me. Then years later you decided you wanted to speak again. What were you too busy doing? Drinking and fucking whores?”. 
That made him laugh. Drinking? Maybe a little. Fucking whores? It's not like he truly wanted to. It made time pass and got an orgasm out the way, but he didn't want painted whores. He wanted you to be under him. He wanted to feel your soft skin on his fingers. He wanted to hear his name pass your sweet lips over and over again until that was all he heard. 
“I made mistakes-”
“Mistakes?!”
“I made terrible choices” he corrected. “Awful ones. But you and I both know that I have always wanted and will always want you”. Those words seem to catch you off guard, which he assumed because you didn't push him away when his hands found their way to your hips. 
His face inched closer and closer to yours until your lips just barely brushed against each other. Unbeknownst to the both of you, your hearts beat as one in that moment. Both hearts erratic but somehow managing to be erratic together. 
“I want you desperately. And I know you want me…”. 
The remaining bit of space was broken and your lips finally met. Your lips responded to each other immediately and your arms wrapped around his neck. Finally… after so long you both were able to taste each other again. 
Reality came crashing down faster than he wanted it to. 
You shoved him away, making him stumble. You breathed heavily and wiped at your lips. “Won't change what happened” he said to your displeasure. 
“You are selfish” you spoke through gritted teeth. “You are an asshole” you shoved him again. “And a liar” another shove. 
Each insult you gave was followed by shove, and instead of feeling insulted, he felt something else. 
Desire. 
That desire is what led to him grabbing you, switching your positions and pushing you onto the table where no candles were. 
Your expression was full of shock, but not disgust or fear. Good. He never wanted to frighten you. What frightened him a little bit though, was his growing erection. Something that made no sense since all you had done recently was insult him. Gods, he was way more desperate than he realized. 
“Get all your insults out” he said as his thumb traced your lower lip, “tell me how much you hate me”. 
A request you had no problem fulfilling. 
“You are a vile man. Seducing a married woman in a Sept. Is there a line you're not willing to cross?”. 
There it was. Just like that. 
He began leaving open mouth kisses down your neck, eagerly awaiting what you'd say next. 
“You are a defiler full of sin”
“I am, aren't I?”. He held you in place as he bit and sucked at a particular spot on your neck, and a small smirk formed on his face when he heard you moan in response. “It seems you enjoy my sins” he taunted. 
“I hate you. No. I despise you. Even that word can't describe how I feel for you”. 
Gwayne untied your dress strap and unbuttoned the buttons in the front, allowing him to free your breasts. 
“I loathe you”. 
“I'm sure” his words dripped in sarcasm. Loathe him yet you allow him to undress you. Loathe him, yet you allowed him to fondle your breasts, then lick and suck at one of your nipples. That's how your little game continued. You'd throw insults at him in between your gasps, and he'd lick and suck harder at each breast, showing them both proper attention. His erection pressed against his trousers, it becoming almost painful. 
You lifted your leg up in response to him twisting your nipple, and your knee brushed right against his erection. He moaned around your breast before he even realized what had happened. His own eagerness being exposed only dawned on him when he felt your palm fully press against him. 
Your other hand pulled his head back by his hair, causing a sharp but welcomed pain to burn at his roots. “I always knew you were pathetic Gwayne, but this?”, a soft breath slipped past his lips when you pressed harder against him. “You like when I insult you?”. He nodded. No point in lying. Still though, he didn't just wanna hand you all the power in your game. 
He hiked the bottom of your dress up and kept eye contact with you as his fingers pushed your undergarments to the side and made contact with your soaked cunt for the first time tonight. He watched you try to keep a stone face, but you couldn't hide the sharp inhale you did. “Seems like you've enjoyed our little game too. What does that say about you?”. 
“What does it say about you that you like being called pathetic?”. 
Gwayne chuckled. He looked you over, watching as you tried not to react to his fingers sliding in between your folds. “You're marvelous…” he said almost as if in a dream. 
You yanked on his hair again and pushed his trousers down, freeing his erection. “Is this when I say you're disgusting?” You taunted. Your hand wrapped around him and shamefully he almost came from that minor touch alone. 
“If it pleases you”. 
His middle and ring finger slowly but surely made their way inside you, all while he whispered praises in your ear. 
“You're so pretty like this”
“You're taking my fingers so well”
“Open up for me. Just like that. Good girl”. 
Your head fell on his shoulder and his fell on yours. The Sept filled with both of your noises as you both continued to pleasure each other with your hands. It was clear that that wouldn't be enough. The question was just who would bend first. 
“I've got you” he whispered before placing a gentle kiss under your ear. You lifted your head off his shoulder to meet his eyes, and while there was still lust behind them, there was clearly something more. 
Longing. 
“Do you really?” You asked. 
He answered at once, “yes. I swear to you on all the gods in every religion that I'm never leaving you again”. 
You swiped at his hands and pulled him closer to you until his tip was lined up with your entrance. “And what about my husband?”. 
Damn your husband. He'd cause an “accident” to happen if he had to. He wouldn't let a man like him keep him away from the one person who truly wanted in this whole world. “I will deal with your husband and I swear you will never be able to get rid of me. Do you believe me?”. 
He asked his question as he began to push inside you. Your answer got stuck in your throat, so instead you nodded in response. Your nod wasn't enough for him, but he'd address that later. For now, he kept whispering encouraging words to you to soothe the stretching he knew you'd feel. He kept telling you that he had you, that you were okay, that you were safe with him and always would be. 
When you finally seemed adjusted, he spoke again. “Do you believe me?”. You nodded. “Out loud”. 
“I believe you”. 
That was all he needed hear. Once he got confirmation, his lips found yours and he moved inside you. Was this an all around terrible idea? Absolutely. Was there a chance of getting caught? Yes. But neither of you could care less about that. How could that possibly be at the forefront of your minds when you were finally feeling each other in the way you both craved?
You both enjoyed each other, ultimately hitting your peaks while you were still connected, mouths swallowing each sound the other made, and foreheads pressed against each other so you could catch your breath. 
His hands cupped your face and he pressed a softer kiss to your lips. Of course there was still that sexual desire there, but he wanted more than to just fuck and be rid of you. He wanted to hold you forever. He wanted to tell you about his tales of knighthood over dinner, and hold your hand as you went on walks in the garden. 
“I swear-”
“I believe you”. 
You believed him. That was all he needed. 
For you to believe him and for you to give him another chance.
Bitch I hate this shit but I haven’t posted in awhile soooooo here we are😭😭. Also the way I forgot about that necklace-
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a-spes · 4 months ago
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| DEVIOUS LIES — Part two (8.790 words).
| Summary — Anon Request — When your friend asked you out for a drink, you didn't think much about it. Yet, maybe you should've, because that night ruined your life. It has been two years, and you can't stop think about what you lost. Your job, your friends, your lover, and even your mind was left in that motel room.
| Tags & warnings — Avenger!Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader, AoS!OC x Avenger!Reader, Other Avengers, angst without comfort, cheating, mental health issues, suicidal ideations, self depreciation, mentions of SA&SH, manipulation, toxic relationship (OCxR), revenge porn, use of drugs.
| Author's notes — I don't know how I feel about that second part, i'm not sure i like it, but now it's written it costs me nothing to share. So here we are. I can just hope that I managed to convey, at least a little, the emotions I wanted to. And, most importantly, take care of yourself.
| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Part one. Part two. Part three.
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Almost a year has gone by, and it means one thing: in a few weeks, it’s going to be Natasha's birthday, again. The woman is not sure how she feels about it. She never really had a birthday before she joined the Avengers, and despite the years that have passed since, she still feels a certain awkwardness at this time of the year. Especially as the boys tended to do too much.
She could only pretend to match their enthusiasm. A slight smile spreads across her face as she takes a sip from her drink, staying silent. She has been listening to her teammates talking about her birthday’s party for almost half an hour now. She stopped trying to avoid it a long time ago, when she realized how much they enjoyed organizing this stupid party. She can deal with anything they’re going to come up with if she gets to see their smiles in exchange. Her sentence won’t last more than a few hours, but the memories are going to stick with them for eternity, and it has no price.
"Wait, you know what?” someone asked. It was Clint, and by the mischievous smile on his face, the redhead already knew that she wouldn't appreciate the next words that are going to come out of his mouth. “I think we should have the mascot come over again," he added, his eyes not leaving hers. "What? It was funny to have a cartoon version of you running around," he defended himself when he saw her glance darkening.
"You know what? Do whatever you want," she mumbled, “it’s not as if you were asking for my opinion anyway,” she eventually gave in. Sometimes, you have to know how to pick your battles, and that is one she definitely cannot win, not when all the others seem to appreciate the idea.
"That’s such a great idea!” one exclaimed, and this time it was Peter Parker, “Mr. Stark, do you think they would accept to come again?” he asked the man.
"Obviously!" Tony replied without an ounce of hesitation, laughing at the question. The man thought it was a stupid thing to ask, "she likes you too much to miss your birthday,” he explained, pointing at the redhead while saying those words. "What? She pretends it’s not true, but I know she is lying. I can see right through her and, believe me, she’ll be here,"  he explained when he noticed the confused looks of his teammates.
"Who’s she?" a voice asked, cutting short to Tony’s rambling. That’s the question that has been on everyone’s minds, but that no one dared to ask out loud, except for one of them — And it hasn’t been Natasha, it is Steve that spoke first.
On the contrary, the woman remained silent because she didn’t need words to express herself, a silent conversation taking place between the billionaire and her through a simple glance. Even if she already has her suspicions, and is almost sure that she knows the answer to that question, she wants him to say it, refusing to believe it otherwise.
The moment she saw the box, she was intrigued by it, something drawing the woman to the small package that no one claimed as theirs. It’s almost as if it came out of nowhere, no one knowing who left it here, or what may be inside the black box. At first, she thought it was some joke, but she knew they were being honest when saying they had nothing to do with the gift. And if she had expected a lot of things to be wrapped in the red ribbon, she definitely wasn’t ready for a ghost from her past to emerge from it.
A quick glance before she suddenly closes the box again, that’s all it took for the redhead to know who was behind that gift. The only thing she could think about was how — How did it happen without any of them noticing your presence? Despite the appearances, and the smile she was trying to keep on, the woman was shaken — Why would you do that, more than two years after your break up? Could it be that you are that desperate?
"Is everything okay?" Clint asked, being the only one to seem to notice a change in Natasha’s behavior. At least, everyone had enough restraint to not ask the question that burns their lips — What’s inside the box?
She wouldn’t have answered if one of them had asked. She wouldn’t even have opened the gift if she had known that it was from you, and that’s probably why you left it on the table, avoiding giving it to her directly. Smart girl, she thought. At first sight, the woman couldn’t tell it was coming from you but there was no doubt remaining once she saw the content — There is only one person on Earth that cares enough to give her such a gift. A person that constantly looks after her, guessing what the redhead wasn’t telling.
A person that she used to love. 
A person that couldn’t be here, was she? The woman can’t help but glance around but she can’t find your face. What was she expecting anyway? To see you in the corner of the room with a bright smile and your arms open for her to throw herself in a hug? That was stupid, and so is the hint of hope she felt when she opened the box. The others told her many times she has to turn the page, but she doesn’t seem ready to let you go. Even after two years, she is still craving your presence as much as before.
The thought of it puts to shame the redhead who knows she shouldn’t hold on to the past, especially when the past in question has a pretty face and breaks her heart. Even after what you’ve done to her, she has spent hours crying, praying for you to come back. Even after listening to the others assuring her that she deserves better, she couldn’t forget how you’ve always been the most caring, and strong, and beautiful person she has ever met in her life. 
You weren’t horrible. Were you? 
Sometimes, she thinks you are a monster. 
Sometimes, she thinks she is, for not listening to you that day. 
That day, she let her anger speak for her, something she swore she would never do again. When she started to realize that, maybe, she should’ve listened to your version of the events, it was too late. At the time, she couldn’t bear to hear the sound of your voice or see your voice, but after two years, as the memory of it starts to fade away, she surprised herself to miss it. 
Except that Fury had refused to tell her where you were. She tried to ask nicely, to beg, and even to threaten the man, but none of it worked. He said that you needed time, that you’ll be back when you are ready, not before. Despite her frustration, the woman accepted it. After all, she is the one to blame, the one that puts herself in such a situation. She could only hold on to the fact that, one day, you’ll be back. Right? As the days go by, the likelihood of ever seeing you again is gradually diminishing. Some nights, when she can’t sleep, she stays up, eyes fixed on her laptop’s screen — Maybe she could give fate a helping hand? She knows she could find you easily. Yet, despite her urge to do it, she has always ended up closing her laptop without starting the research. 
She has to trust Fury, she repeats to herself. Even if she sometimes disagrees with the man, even if it’s frustrating, she has to believe him when he says that you are safe.
Some other nights, all she can feel is anger, and hatred. The redhead is lost, and scared, again, something she never thought she would feel again the day you two met. What if it was true, and you really cheated on her? Then, you could do it again if she forgives you, because history always repeats itself, and you are no exception to the rules of the universe. She knows how people tend to promise a lot of things that they don’t mean, especially when they are desperate, which is exactly what you’ve been that day. She couldn’t forget the look on your face when she dragged you out of the building, the despair in those bright eyes, glistening with tears. This is the only thing she can remember when she thinks about you. Not the good moments you’ve shared, only the brutality of the end of your relationship. 
You've abandoned her, and so did she.
It has been three since she last saw you, and almost a year since her birthday party, but the woman couldn’t stop thinking about it. She didn’t take the gift, leaving the jewelry in the box, and the box on a shelf. She hasn't touched it since. How could she when just the sight of it was already too much to bear?
Every day, when she wakes up, it is one of the first things she sees, and one of the last when she goes to sleep. If it doesn’t feel right to the woman to take the gift, it doesn’t feel right to throw it in the bin either, so it stayed here as a constant reminder of what she has done. Every time she thinks she is finally over it, the box rekindles her doubts. There are some things she can’t quite understand about the situation, and why you would give her such a gift, two years after she kicked you out, is one of them.
Maybe it was a poisoned gift. Maybe it was a sick trick to make her feel guilty, a way to get her to crawl back to you. Beside these possibilities, she couldn’t think of any others that were likely, and she was afraid to admit that your plan was working. The box was a permanent reminder of your existence, something she couldn’t get herself to give away because of those dumb feelings she was experiencing. Somehow, she was holding on to that last piece of your years together after she threw away everything else with the help of the team.
The pictures, the clothes, the gifts, even your favorite cutlery has been burned a few days after you left them. It is almost as if you’ve never stepped a foot into the building, as if you’ve never existed. The woman was fine with the idea of pretending that nothing happened — She was fine with the idea of erasing every remaining part of your relationship.
Except that black box. It is stupid how she hangs onto that last proof of the relationship she once had with you. She had burned everything, but she couldn’t get herself to do the same with that gift. Maybe because she knew that she could never erase you completely from her life. She surely could pretend, it is a game she is really good at, but you would always be on the back of her mind because memories don't go away as easily as objects do.
Since she had opened the box, doubt had been creeping inside of her — What if? What if she has been wrong the whole time? What if she should have listened to you? Give you a second chance? That day, her reaction had been dictated by anger and hatred, feelings that still inhabit her soul, but have faded over the years. For two years, she had been sure that she made the right choice — At least, that’s what everyone kept telling the woman, and she listened to their comforting words.
But since she opened the box, she was no longer sure of anything. She wasn’t the one that wanted you gone in the first place. She surely needed a bit of space before being able to talk with you properly, but only a few days, maybe a few weeks, not two years, and definitely not more than that. That little box only worsened her doubt because who would be desperate enough to still cling to the person they betrayed, years after the events? A person truly in love. She had kept her doubts for herself before that day. If she is almost sure of the identity of the person who gave her the box, because there is only one person on that planet that cares enough to gift her something so meaningful, there are still a lot of questions to which she doesn’t have the answers — For example, how did you manage to sneak into the building without everyone knowing? She now knows that someone knew the whole time.
“Tell me,” she firmly asked the man, leaving little room for discussion.
No one pointed out the thing he has said about the mascot, the subject of the conversation quickly changed after that. Except, while they were talking about which flavor the cake should be, Natasha could think of nothing but Tony’s words — “She likes you too much to miss your birthday”, “she pretends it’s not true but I know she is lying.” So when everyone eventually decided to go back to their rooms, around two in the morning, she stayed a bit longer in the common room in hope of getting some information.
“Sorryy, I can’t, I don’t know anything,” the man replied, indifferent to her tone, “anything at all,” he repeated, chuckling like a child who has done something wrong. 
The woman sighs, pinching her nose as she takes a deep breath, trying to not lash out her frustration on the man. The conversation isn’t exactly going the way she had hoped, Tony refusing to answer her question no matter how many times she has already asked. She even tried to blackmail him, but he was persistent in pretending that he didn’t know anything. When he almost falls on the ground trying to get a few steps back, it has been the last straw for the woman. Gladly, someone entered the room before she could hit him so hard that it would have sobered him in an instant.
"Is everything okay?" the voice asked, and both of them immediately shut up to turn their heads toward the woman who just entered the room, Astrid. She is leaning in the doorway, her gaze alternating between Tony and Natasha.
She hates her. Not as much as she hates you, but she still feels resentful toward the agent. When she smiles, when she speaks, even when she is just here, existing, the woman can’t help but hate her from the depths of her heart. Gladly, she rarely sees her, as an agent of the S.H.I.E.L.D., she is only around when they have outstanding missions. If Natasha had a choice, she would’ve thrown her away with you that day. 
"She wants me to admit that her girlfriend was the one in the costume," he immediately replied, "but sshht, we can’t let her know that!" he added, holding his index finger in front of his mouth for a few seconds before leaving the room giggling. 
"I know what happened," she eventually said when she noticed that Natasha was about to leave after a few seconds when they glanced at each other in silence. "Th- That night, in the motel room~," she added, her voice being hesitant. Those words made the redhead stop in her tracks.
"If you're about to rub in my face how you've ruined my life, you can shut up," she immediately cut her, not wanting to listen to the woman, not if it’s to tell her about how she fucked the woman she loves. Her voice was full of anger, just like the murderous look in her eyes. The only thing that prevented the woman from immediately leaving the room was the thing she saw in the other’s eyes. Her attitude betrayed her emotions, a mix of guilt, sadness, and shame, which aroused her curiosity. 
With a nod, she ordered her to continue.
That morning, as many others, you are woken up by your girlfriend’s gentle touches, her fingers slowly tracing circles on your stomach. A hum of satisfaction escapes your lips before your turn around, nuzzling your head further into the crook of her neck.
How could you have known it would be the last time? How could you have possibly guessed that the routine you’ve got used to would be broken so quickly?
Every morning, it is the same thing, and while the former spy has no problems getting up early, you definitely can’t say the same for yourself. She is always awake before you are and, even if she had never admitted it, you are sure that she takes a few minutes to observe your sleeping form. She loves seeing you so peaceful and calm, being able to have a glimpse of your face without those worry lines, without the marks of your anxieties. 
She is always the one who wakes you up, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. There is no better way to start a day than Natasha’s sweet words and caresses. It’s her fault if you never want to get out of bed, wishing every morning that you could stay in that bed, next to her, for the rest of your life. Sometimes, you suggest that you tell the others you are sick, just to spend a day together, but she just laughs, dismissing your idea.
But all the good things must come to an end, right?
"It's time to get up, milaya," she softly said in your ear, her breath tickling your skin, "Astrid won't be happy if you are late again," she added when the only answer you gave her was a groan of discontent.
"They won't say anything if I am late once, it's okay", you mumbled, her words not being enough to convince you to leave the comfort of her arms. 
Especially when you realize that there is nothing to get excited about the day ahead of you, in perspective, only hours spent in an office, listening to men who think they know everything better than you do. Today, you are supposed to attend an important meeting alongside Astrid, and you still don’t know why you volunteered. The thought of the paperwork and the efforts that you will have to put in pretending that you are actually happy to be here definitely don’t worth your pay.
Except that you’ve lied to Natasha, and she knows it. This is definitely not the first time that you are being late, it happens almost every day, to the point that the day you are in time can probably be counted on your hands. Gladly, when you are coming in the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters, it's Astrid who’s your supervisor, and she appears to also be your best friend. Most of the time, she is kind enough to accept to close her eyes on your delays. Today, you came in only ten minutes late, and the woman was somehow impressed, expecting you to be later than that.
“You’re late, again,” she replied, obviously waiting for an excuse that you don't have. She would know if you are lying to her, and you don't have the energy for that kind of game today, and you could see that the woman neither. She was starting to get tired of every day starting with the same bullshit coming from your mouth.
“I am so, so, sorry,” you said to her for what may be the tenth time since you’ve entered the office. She is walking fast, and you are trying to catch up with the black-haired woman, who is also your superior within the S.H.I.E.L.D. “Please, don’t tell Fury,” you begged, but all she did was roll her eyes, and give you a file when you eventually reached her office. You quickly glanced at it before closing it again, your attention focused on the woman, “Astrid, I am serious. He is going to give me more paperwork if you do. Or worse. Imagine if he forces me to train the new recruits, you know I can’t do that again. Please, …,” you added, looking at her imploringly.
“And what do I have in exchange?” she sighed, turning around to look at you, one eyebrow raised. Despite her serious expression, you know she was trying to not laugh. She may be your boss, but above all she is your friend, and you both know that she would never tell Fury about your delays. Even if she has threatened you to do so a few times in the past, she has never actually done it. Yet, this time she felt like she needed something in exchange, she had covered for you enough time for free, and you were happy to thank your friend with whatever she may want.
“Anything you want!” you replied, desperate but no less honest. 
“Tonight, after work, you pay me a drink, deal?” she asked after pretending to think for a few seconds. In reality, she already knew what she wanted from you. She has thought about asking you out since the moment you met, something you’ve never noticed, always reducing her to the role of a friend, and not keeping up on the clues she was leaving you. Tonight, however, she will be clearer than she has ever been.
“Deal!” you immediately said, accepting the proposal without thinking twice about it. "Thank you. Thank you so, so much. You are the best," you added, kissing your friend on the cheek before leaving the room quickly, a sight that made the woman chuckle.
It is a deal that makes you both happy. You have met Astrid at the Academy, when you were both trainees that dreamed of joining the S.H.I.E.L.D. without even knowing if you were good enough for that. The two of you quickly became close — That’s the kind of thing that happens where you are the only two females of your promotion. Either you hate each other over your dead bodies, or you grow so close that you become inseparable. 
Except that, since you've both achieved your dreams and joined S.H.I.E.L.D, something changed in your relationship. It wasn’t your fault, nor hers, that you had less time to see each other, your jobs taking a lot of your time and energy. Then you've been assigned on a long-term mission with the Avengers, and you’ve spent less time at the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters despite still working for the organization. Then you've met Natasha, and you feel like you’ve slightly grown apart from each other after you’ve announced to her your new relationship. On the whole, you had less time to spend with your best friend, and the promises to make up for the lost time have never been kept, not until today. That deal was the perfect occasion to spend a bit of time together outside of the office work.
You both really hoped that this night would make things back as they were before.
"You know, I love her," she confessed to the redhead, her voice being barely louder than a whisper as she felt tears filling her eyes. "Since the day we met, I have loved her. That's what I told her, that night, when we went out," she admitted, and Natasha felt her heart pounding in her chest, her hands were shaking with apprehension, “but she rejected me. She loves you so much, too much," she sadly chuckled, but the redhead felt no relief when she heard those words because they were not explaining the pictures. She can't cry, not now, not in front of that woman.
"Continue," she ordered, feeling that the woman had more to say than that. She already knew that Astrid loved you, you may be the only one that hadn't seen it, or maybe you were pretending, or maybe you were blinded by your love for Natasha.
"I didn't plan to do that, you know," she started, carefully looking at the spy, "but I was so desperate that night, and I-," she said, except she was unable to finish her sentence, the words stuck in her throat.
The past three years, she had kept the truth a secret. At first, she thought it was better that way. The woman was ashamed of her actions, and she was relieved when heard that you’ve been transferred to another department, and she thought that her secret would be safe. Except that, if everyone acted as if you’ve never existed, her mind didn’t allow her to forget. Every hour of every day, you were in her mind, and the longer she thought about that night, the biggesther guilt became, until the burden was too heavy to bear. Tonight, hearing them argue about you, has been the last straw.
“What did you do?” she asked, sensing that something was wrong. She didn’t like the feeling that was creeping inside of her, “what. did. you. do.?” she asked once again, but more firmly that time, when the other didn’t immediately answer her question. As she saw the hesitation, she reduced the distance between them in a second, her hand gripping the collar of Astrid’s shirt that she pins to the wall abruptly, “tell me. Now,” she insisted as the interaction only reinforced the bad feeling she had.
That morning, unlike the others, you woke up alone. There haven’t been the gentle caresses of your girlfriend to wake you up, nor her sweet words to coax you into getting up. No, that day, it was only yourself, draped into the cold sheets, and it felt so strange, the silence and the loneliness of the room. Sadly, it has not been the exception you’ve wished it would be, but only the first of too many mornings like that.
In the sleepy state you were in, it took you a few seconds to realize that something was wrong, and almost a minute before you noticed that you weren’t home. You couldn’t even recognize the place you were in, only knowing that it looked like a hotel, a shitty one if you might say. The room was small, simple, and not-so-comfortable. There was something in the ambience that gave you an uneasy feeling about the whole thing, but you were unable to say what it was exactly.
Your head is throbbing, and you are definitely feeling nauseous, but you know that’s not the problem. Your physical distress isn’t the cause of the weight on your chest, the one that makes your breath aching, it’s something else that your mind can’t comprehend yet. It’s all these inconsistencies. The missing memories of last night, the unknown room, the fact that you are alone,... you don’t remember drinking that much last night. You may not be the most responsible person that planet has known, but you know how to handle yourself. Usually. 
Could you have possibly drunk that much? 
The day has barely started, but you already know it is going to be a rough one. If only you knew how right you were, maybe you would have taken a few more hours of sleep, enjoying the comfortable peace of your old life a bit longer before joining the chaos. Yet, you had no means to guess that your day would go that way. 
It's a note left on the bedside table that answered all your questions, easing some of the worries that were creeping inside of you. Someone has written the following words : “Couldn’t get you home because of how drunk you were. don’t worry about being late today, I won’t tell Fury. however, had to go on a mission, be careful when you go home. I left you a bit of money, it should be enough to pay for the room and an Uber. Love you.” The message might not have been signed, but you can easily recognize Astrid’s handwriting. A smile spreads across your lips as you are reassured, the situation not being as bad as your mind made it look.
Some memories of last night flew back in your mind, but it’s only a glimpse of what happened, a lot of the events staying unknown to yourself. The last thing you can remember is the conversation you had with Astrid, when she admitted that she loved you and you replied that you too, thinking she meant as friends because you couldn’t see her any other way, not when you were already engaged in a relationship. The rest of the exchange is confused, and you are not sure what’s real and what has been made up by alcohol. Even today, you are still not sure. 
Maybe you’ve really drunk too much that night.
Knowing that you’ve been with Astrid the whole time was reassuring, and you are no longer as bothered by the absence of memories. For a moment, you thought you'd been kidnapped by some weird man. As you regain your composure, your thoughts become clearer and you decide that the first thing you should do is to send a message to your girlfriend. She must be so worried, and your heart aches at the thought that you might be a source of problem for the woman you love.
It is not your kind to not keep your promises, and you’ve told her you would be home last night. It is not your kind either to not answer her messages or calls. In reality, you are quite the opposite, always sending her hundreds of messages when you are out with your friends. The only reason she hasn’t got after you is because she knew you were with Astrid, and she trusted you. However, the sweet messages are going to have to wait because, when you try to turn your phone on, you only encounter a black screen, a sign that you’ve run out of battery. Obviously, your friend didn’t think to leave you a charger.
You sigh, admitting your defeat. Shaking your phone surely won’t change the situation. For the moment, there is nothing more you can do, except hoping that Natasha won’t be too angry. As you are getting ready, your mind is focused on how to earn the redhead’s forgiveness — Maybe you could stop to buy her some flowers? You hate it, when the two of you are arguing. It doesn’t happen a lot, but it’s never pretty, and the mere thought that it might happen was already hurting.
As you definitely couldn’t go back to the compound by yourself, not knowing how far you were and being in a pitiful state, you decided to use the money left by Astrid to call a cab, as she instructed you to do. It’s not before you enter the car that you realize how late you actually were. It is almost one in the afternoon, and if you are not an early riser, like your girlfriend who is always up by six at the latest, you rarely get up after ten.
It has been a thirty minutes drive back to the compound, and the whole time you were thinking about two things: taking a shower, and leaning into your girlfriends’ arms. You are so exhausted, physically and mentally, that you’ve decided to skip work today — You were already so late that it wouldn’t make a big difference anyway. The journey was long, and those thirty minutes felt like hours. 
Soon enough, you started to suffocate into your own mind, then skin. You felt so sweaty, and dirty, that it quickly became unbearable. Maybe it was the effects of the alcohol, or maybe because you’ve slept in a seedy motel, but the only thing you wanted was to get rid of the clothes you were wearing and the uncomfortable state you were in as soon as possible.
When you enter the compound, you find it empty, and so is the room you are sharing with the woman. If you frown, you don’t think much about it. If the building is rarely empty, it sometimes happens when emergencies are called. A whine escapes your lips as you realize that, if it’s true, they are going to be mad at you for not being here when they needed it. You can already feel your mind losing itself to self-hatred thoughts, as you mutter to yourself how stupid you are. You are going to need more than a few flowers to earn their forgiveness. The fact that JARVIS confirmed that everyone was at the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s quarters didn’t, you would have preferred to hear that they went to the restaurant without you rather than that.
Tears brimming your eyes, you quickly put your phone to charge. It is only when you get out of the shower, twenty minutes later, that you saw the missed calls and messages from Natasha. The most recent ones were sent a few minutes ago. There were too many of them for you to take time to read everything so you just sent her a quick text that said: “sorry, my battery was dead, and I couldn’t answer your calls. I’ll explain everything, I promise. see you soon. love you.” A message she saw but she didn’t answer, which is unusual and an obvious hint of how angry she probably is.
Despite your decision to not work today, you still end up in the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters. You are almost running in the corridors, going to the meeting room where you find your girlfriend, and the rest of the Avengers. When you stumble into the room, a deadly silence descends. None of them greeted you, and the only reaction you got was Fury’s nod when you started mumbling excuses for your late arrival. While your eyes immediately landed on the redhead, she didn’t glance at you once of the entire meeting. The sight made your heart sink. You love her, but you have to admit that the spy is scary when she has that stern expression on her face, one that leaves no room for discussion.
The safest decision was to sit on the furthest chair, leaving her space until you get the opportunity to explain yourself. Something that you hadn't had a chance to do before a few more hours, when you stumbled into her in the corridors. You have been lost in your mind, having a hard time focusing on your work. Earlier, when the meeting ended, she immediately left the room, not leaving you a chance to exchange a word with her, and it has been bugging you since.
“Please, wait,” you said, already begging the woman. When she heard your voice, she stopped, allowing you to gently grab at her arm so she didn't go. She could, if she wanted to, and a part of her did want to run away, but the rest of her knows that this conversation can’t be avoided. “Listen, I- I am sorry,” you started once you were sure she was willing to listen to your excuses, “I should have warned you, but I couldn’t, my phone’s battery was dead and, and- honestly? I don't remember much of what happened last night. All I know is that once was enough. It won't happen again,” you chuckled sadly. When you woke up that morning, you promised to yourself that it was the last time you drank that much. A promise you kept, and three years later, you still haven’t touched a bottle of alcohol. “I promise, 'tasha. Please, don't be mad at me for that, or at least tell me how I can make up for my mistake,” you said, and the woman knew she had heard enough.
“Seriously?” she scoffed, breaking free of your grip. “I can’t believe you are that stupid,” she said, as she started to walk away. But if she didn’t want to hear the sound of your voice any more, you, however, weren’t done yet.
"I know I’ve made a mistake, but I am fine, isn’t it the most important?” you asked, starting to follow. Except that, when she heard your steps in her back, she accelerated her pace. “I promise to be more careful next time but, you know, I can handle myself for one night. Well, I might have drunk a bit too much, but Astrid was wi~,” you tried to explain, except she cut short your ramblings. To say, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the woman quickly cut you. She scoffed again, in disbelief this time.
"You are really stupid, aren't you?” she said, stopping in her tracks, and you almost ran into her, surprised by her sudden stop. A few more seconds passed before she turned around to face you, her posture matching her stern expression. “Do you think I don't know what happened last night, with Astrid? Do you really think I wouldn’t have known the truth?” she added, taking a step forward for every question she asked, and you took one back every time, until your back hit the walls. You would certainly have found the situation hot if she didn’t look like she was about to murder you.
“W- what?” you said, “you are mad because I went out with a friend. That’s the problem? Astrid is the problem?" you snapped, starting to feel frustrated about the whole situation. 
You are tired, and the only thing you’ve wanted to do since you opened your eyes that morning — Throwing yourself in your girlfriend’s arms — was impossible to do. You hadn’t expected the woman to give you such a hard time. You knew she could be jealous sometimes, you’ve already had arguments about that in the past, but you’ve always been understanding because you know that her jealousy isn’t caused by a lack of trust. This feeling is fuelled by her own insecurities and past. Except that, that time, it was too much. The way she wouldn't listen to your excuses is seriously hitting on your nerves.
"Don't you dare to lie to me,” she said. For a moment, you thought she was going to hit you, but she took a step back before she could do that. She was angry too, taking deep breaths in an attempt to ease the feeling. “I trusted you,” she eventually added but her tone was different — The anger left her voice, replaced by pain. “I trusted you and, most importantly, I loved you,” she whispered, turning around to see you one last time. “After everything I have done for you, I can't believe that's how you are thanking me. You know, I really thought you were different, better," she laughed, trying very hard to not throw you against the walls or worse, to cry. The most insufferable was the look in your eyes, the false innocence. She was tired of pretending, she had given you enough chances to tell her the truth, “but you’re not,” but now, she was done trying.
That is the last time the two of you talked. The next time you’ve seen her, she hasn’t been kind enough to let you have a chance to explain things. She was done trying, and so were you. The last words she said are still ringing in your head, even years later. Maybe if you'd chased her once again that day, things would have ended differently, but you haven’t moved. You couldn’t, petrified by the conversation that just took place, you have just watched the redhead walking away without glancing back.
It’s only when you enter the break room that you understand the whole conversation you had with Natasha. No one was here, but the walls had been covered with pictures of yourself. At first, you thought it was a prank from your teammates’ but the pictures were all but innocent. You felt your heart sink when you took down one of the photos to get a closer look at it, and tears in your eyes when you realized that you were nude in those.
It was you, in bed, with Astrid. Your face doesn’t entirely show but you can easily recognize yourself and the bed you’ve woken up in that morning. There were dozens of different pictures, but all showed similar scenes: your bodies against each other as you are obviously sharing an intimate moment. Something that you should only share with one person on that Earth. A person that is definitely not Astrid. 
Except that the more you look at those pictures, the more foreign they feel. You are sure you are the one in the pictures, but you are still unable to remember what happened. Slowly, doubt creeps into your heart — Did you drink that much last night? 
So much that you betrayed the woman you swore to love until the sun dies? 
You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You are suddenly overwhelmed by a bunch of emotions that you can’t describe, but that are definitely not pleasant. It is a mix of confusion, anger, guilt, and disgust. The pictures speak for themselves, and they leave little room for doubt about what you were doing — And you were surely not just sleeping. The woman was on top of you, her mouth closed to your neck, maybe she was leaving soft kisses against your skin, maybe she was whispering sweet things in your ears, you don’t know. But the thing you were focused on was her hand hidden by the sheets, leaving only your imagination to complete the scene. It wasn’t the only picture of that kind: they were all picturing similar scenes. You can easily understand her rage and hatred earlier because you are now sharing those feelings with your girlfriend, just for different reasons.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" a voice said, pulling out of your mind. It was Astrid, who just entered the room. She glanced around before looking back at you, a sad smile spreading on her lips when she notices the tears that are soaking your face. and you saw Astrid entering the room. She looks around, a sorry look on her face. "I am sorry,” she started, and you could feel she was looking for the right thing to say, “I- I sent the pictures to the wrong person. When I realized, I tried to explain to Romanoff but, well… you know how she is,” she explained, shrugging as if she was trying to make you believe she had actually tried to, “she wouldn't listen to me, and they- they did that before I could stop them. It doesn’t please me either," she added, reminding you that you weren’t the only one suffering from the situation. Except she seemed to deal with the situation better than you do. As she talked, she slowly walked closer to you, accompanying each of her sentences with a few steps forward until she was close enough to wrap you in her arms. 
You didn’t get the energy to push her away.
"Did we.. ?" you asked, but your voice broke before you could finish your sentence. It felt too difficult to say those words out loud — “Did we hook up? Did I cheat on Natasha?” But the woman doesn’t need the words to be said, she seems to read in your mind the end of your sentence.
"Of course we did, what kind of question is that?" she replied, frowning. She seems to be surprised by your question. For a second, the hand that was slowly caressing the back of your head stopped. The woman pulled back a little, just so she could see your face. "Why? Do you regret it?" she asked, and for an instant she seemed to be genuinely worried about your reaction, "because you didn't seem to last night, when you cried my name,..." she whispered in your ear. You could feel her breath tickling your skin but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, unlike when Natasha does it.
Everything felt so much. Her voice, her touch, her presence so close to you, was now unbearable. As she remembers the night you’ve spent, a soft smirk spreads on her lips, but you are definitely not sharing her feelings. “Of course we did.” The words loop back into your mind, it seeps in like a poison that quickly takes over your whole being. Soon, you are paralyzed by an awful feeling. It hurts, but at the same time you are not sure you are actually feeling something, your body and mind feeling so foreign to you — If you wanted it, why does it feel so wrong?
At that moment, if you had been able to move, you would have ripped your ears off just so you wouldn’t hear her voice any more, and maybe you would have done the same with your skin. It felt like the only way to get rid of your overwhelming feelings. Suddenly, the reassuring touch of your best friend made you feel gross, and so do her sweet words — But if she said that you did it, and wanted it, then it must be true, right?
You have seen the pictures, they are in your hands, right under your eyes. You can see yourself betraying the woman you love and in those, you really don't give the impression that you didn’t want to. On the contrary.
"No, no, it- it's not that, it’s just…," you eventually managed to say, but you are hesitating and unsure of yourself. There are too many thoughts and words clouding your head, so many ways you could react and yet, none of what you could say or do felt right. "It’s just that I don’t even remember last night,” you admitted, feeling ashamed about it, “I mean, did we- you know,... for real?" you asked softly but you were not even listening to Astrid’s answer, the question was more for yourself in reality. "Sorry, I have to go, see you later", you said, interrupting the woman. Somehow, you regained control over your body, just enough to push the other away and leave the room. You are not sure where you are going, but as far from that room as you can is already a good start.
That's where she found you when she came home that night, sitting on the bathroom's floor, the pictures in your hands.
Your hand is still wrapped tightly around the pictures, but you didn’t notice it. Not before being back home, in the room you are sharing with Natasha — Or were sharing, you thought, unsure about how the situation would unfold. It may be the last time you set a foot in that room that has been your safe place for months. Before you could completely break down, you decided to take a shower, thinking that, maybe, the steaming water would be enough to ease your mind. You took two showers. Then three, then four, and maybe more. You can’t be sure, you’ve stopped counting. All you knew was that it hasn’t been enough to get rid of the uneasy feelings and thoughts. You’ve scrubbed yourself until your skin was so sensitive that even the touch of the towel has been painful — But maybe you deserved it.
The rest of the day is a blur, and you are not sure what time it is. You’ve spent hours on the bathroom’s floor, your left hand clenched around the picture while the right one was holding the towel. Your head was so empty, but so full at the same time. That’s how she found you when she came home that night, and if she had been tempted to wrap you in her arms when she saw your pitiful state, the conversation she just had with the others discouraged her to do so — You didn’t deserve her pity. They are right when they say that you are not the victim: you are the one that cheated on her, and she needs to be firm, stern. You knew how hard it is for the woman to trust someone and yet, you still broke the fate she had put in you after years of making her dream of a better future.
"Oh, so you remember now?" she coldly said to you when she entered the room. You didn’t move, not even your eyes to look at her, but if you did, you would have seen that the woman was leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed. Maybe you would have also seen that her coldness was only a facade, and that she was as close as you were from breaking down. 
You stayed silent, unable to say anything. The words were stuck in your clenched throat, and they aren’t feeling right anyway — How could you defend yourself when you didn't even know what happened exactly? Plus, you weren’t even sure there was something to defend, the pictures speaking for themselves. Even when she started packing your belongings, you didn’t move. For you to move, she had to grab your arm and drag you all the way outside the Avengers’s building by herself. 
She needed you gone, and everyone agreed that it was only for the best. At least for a few weeks, just the time for things to calm down. That’s what she came to announce. The few words that left your mouth were useless, your pleas falling in deaf ears: the decision had already been made, and the sentence was irrevocable. The woman is done with your bullshit. She is done with you, and so you are.
"The pictures, they- they aren't real," she eventually admitted, her voice being barely louder than a whisper as she unburdens herself of this old secret. “I mean, th- they are, but it’s a staging. Nothing happened between us, she- hm, loves you too much to give you away,” she continued, tears filling her eyes as she talks, her voice wavering a little more with each word. "She isn't even conscious in these," she continued when the spy didn’t react. If the black-haired woman thought it was because the other was listening, it was because she didn’t know how to react.
The weight of what she had done left her shoulder, and it was now lingering in the room, where the air was suddenly thick, and almost unbreathable. Natasha felt a weight in her chest that made each breath harder than the previous one. Overcome by surprise, she had let go of the other, stepping back a few steps. Her thoughts were racing, numerous and contradictory, they weren’t coherent enough to allow how to respond in any way. She needed to do something, but she didn’t know what.
“I- I don’t know why I did that. It wasn’t me, that night, you know that, right? That I would usually never ever do something like that,” she started to defend herself when she saw the look on Natasha’s face, “I was so angry, and disappointed, when she refused. I have given her everything since we met, and yet you are the one she chose. I thought that, maybe, with a bit of time she would eventually realize her mistake, … but I was so wrong,” she sighed, and the redhead could see the remnants of that anger in her attitude. A clenching jaw and fists, accompanied with firm words that left no doubt about the resentment she held towards her, and towards you. “That night, I- I wasn’t myself. We’ve already had a few drinks and, you know, it doesn’t mix well with emotions,” she continued, and the woman could feel her anger rising with every word the other spoke. “All I could think about was getting revenge. I wanted to show her she was wrong, that I had so much more to offer than she thought. I wanted her to change her mind, to see me for more than just a friend,” she admitted, her voice being just a whisper as she says the last sentence. “I never thought it would end this way, I swear, you’ve to believe me, Natasha,” and to forgive me. She didn’t say the last words out loud, but she doesn’t need to, her eyes are speaking for herself.
Only, when her gaze met the redhead’s, she didn’t see in her eyes the compassion she had been expecting, only pure hatred, an emotion that had quickly replaced the initial surprise. Not even a word was addressed to her as the other left the room, leaving her alone to dry her tears.
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| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Part one. Part two. Part three.
| Taglist — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @gemz5, @jusnough, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.
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starreo · 11 months ago
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multi-character drabble.
includes the friends to lovers trope, slightly insecure! character, and adult themes so, mdni.
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he always treated you like you were special to him. he dropped you home every day unless he really had somewhere to be. even when he did, he would at least make sure to stay with you till your bus arrived. he didn't have to do that, you had never asked him to do that, but he wanted to.
he packed an extra box of lunch for you when he noticed you weren't bringing healthy meals to school. he would softly place it on your desk every day, and then proceed to sit down on the chair next to you. he didn't have to do that, you had never asked him to do that, but he wanted to.
he would let you cheat off of his paper when you hadn't studied for the test. sure, he could've just waved you off and told you to study next time, but he didn't. he let you copy his answers, and even wrote a few points for a question you were attempting. he didn't have to do that, you had never asked him to do that, but he wanted to.
he was the dream man according to every girl in school. a complete green flag. no wonder his locker would be flooded with love letters on valentine's day. he wouldn't respond to any of those, just quickly scan for one with your name on it. and when he wouldn't find one, he would just smile softly to himself, it's okay, she doesn't have to feel the same way. but he would never give up on you. he was too much in love.
but you felt the same way, didn't you? how could you not fall for him? after how much of a gentleman he had been...after how well he had treated you and never expected anything in return?
so today you decided to ask him, "hey, what do you want from me?"
he almost looked offended for a split second, clearing his throat before he asked you what you meant...
"i mean...y'know, with your birthday tomorrow, what do you want?"
his eyes widened and then immediately went back to the same way they were before, gentle.
"uhm, n-"
"don't say nothing!" you interrupted him before he could say it. as he sighed, you moved closer to him, "i want to...give you something...special..." his eyebrows furrowed and his head snapped towards you, special?
before he could think, his mouth said something that his heart had been dying to say for the past two years..."i want you."
that's all it took for you to lose your composure. you immediately slammed your lips against his, shocking him. as he struggled to understand just what sort of lucid dream he was having, you pulled apart, placing your hand on his cheek, your thumb caressing his lips. "i will give you whatever you want, just ask for it."
"y/n-"
"anything."
and you could see him contemplating his next words, before he dropped his head low, taking your hands in his when he looked up. "give me a chance to let me show you..." as he placed a soft kiss on your hand, "just how much i love you."
and you gave him that chance. obviously...why else would you be on his bed right now, with your ankles buried between his shoulder blades as he rutted into you.
now don't get confused, he didn't just fuck you like this. first, he made love to you, let you know how much you mean to him and how thankful he is. then, he said, he wanted to give you something special this time. he didn't have to do that, you had never asked him to do that, but he wanted to.
which is why he had the entire bed shaking with his quick thrusts, oh, he made you cum- how many times now? well, who cares, all you knew right now was, "a-ah, i-i'm g-gonna-!"
nagi, reo, rin, isagi, ness, hiori, bachira, chifuyu, eren, jean, suna + your favs <3
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© starreo 2023. do not copy, translate or repost .
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frozenmoonshine · 6 months ago
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TR boys' unexpected/random red flags headcanon:
Just some crack and slander for the humor purposes. As always, don't take it too seriously, and have fun with it at least half as much as I did writing it!
Since I obviously need to spell this out for some of you, even though it's literally in the title of the post - these are the red flags you wouldn't normally expect from them! That's the whole point of them being unexpected. So don't go telling me how I missed the mark with some characters, or how their red flags are something else. Yeah, we all know the obvious ones, but why would I state the obvious?!
TW: F!reader; implied mysogyny; mentions of DV, cheating, and general toxic behavior.
🚩Mikey - proposes on the second date.
🚩Draken - never talks about himself whatsoever. Even when you directly ask him to open up about what's troubling him, he's still difficult and avoids conversation.
🚩Baji - mama's boy. At first, it looks sweet, how he cares about and respects his mother, but soon you realize that he is dependant on her, and cannot make any decisions bigger than what to eat on his own, without "consulting with his mom". Silver lining is that Ryouko is an amazing, lovely woman, but you don't exactly want to date both the mother and the son at the same time, do you?
🚩Chifuyu - overromanticizes everything, then gets mad at you if things don't turn out irl the same they were in his imagination.
🚩Mitsuya - really damn cheap. Like, ok, I know you grew up poor, but going out once a month won't bankrupt you! (You're not even asking him to pay for you or anything like that, but he just refuses to step even one milimeter out of his frugal ways!)
🚩Hakkai - aside from the obvious red flag (you get a package deal of Yuzuha and Mitsuya as well, if you are dating Hakkai), he can also be incredibly self-absorbed and condescending sometimes, thinking he's so much better than you, etc.
🚩Pah-chin & 🚩Peh-yan - putting them together cause they have the same red flag - if you date one of them, the other one will third wheel all of your dates, no exeptions. Might as well just go poly and date them both at this point!
🚩Smiley - refers to women as "females".
🚩Angry - doesn't let you do anything on your own/overprotective. Look, Souya, it's nice that you're being a gentleman, but do you really think I'm incapable of getting a glass of water for myself?! His behaviour can be incredibly stifling and suffocating.
🚩Mucho - won't ever let you pick a date spot cause he's convinced he knows the best. You always end up doing what he wants for dates, or you don't go on a date at all.
🚩Haruchiyo - yeah, sure, he's got more red flags than China, but the not so expected one is that he's incredibly fussy and naggy about the smallest of things. "That's not how you put the trash bag in the can!" "You folded the laundry wrong! Look how I do it!" "Wipe the counter with this, not that!" "Don't leave your hair everywhere! I don't wanna live with a cat!" And so on and so forth, it feels like you are living with your parent(s) all over again!
🚩Hanma - another one with enough red flags to call it a carnival, sure, but the one that catches you off guard is just how jealous and possessive he is. "Where are you going?" "Why is your dress so short?" "You can't go out with male company wearing your tits out!" "Why are you hiding your phone?" "Who's that?" and so on and so forth, you get the idea.
🚩Kazutora - yet another walking red flag in a row (at least his unhealed self), but even as an adult (healed) he still retains that aggression from his teens and gets into random street/bar fights semi-regularly. Him coming back home bloody and bruised is not a rare occurrence at all.
🚩Kisaki - cheats. No idea how he manages to, provided that he looks like... well, that, but he still does.
🚩Taiju - a religious freak prone to domestic violence... what more red flags can you even ask for? None, indeed. But what you don't expect on top of all that is his complete lack of manners and just how loud and embarrassing he can be in public.
🚩Inupi - rude to the waitstaff.
🚩Koko - never got over his ex, stuck on her forever, and cannot ever be fully present in his current relationship. Compares you to his ex all the time, every other person he dated after her was just an unsuccessful rebound.
🚩Izana - does he even have any green ones? Likely not. But what you wouldn't exactly expect from him right away, given all the other red flags that come into front upon the first contact - is that he's a bad mansplainer. "You probably don't know how the betta fish do this thing where..." - Izana, I'm literally a marine biologist.
🚩Kakuchou - breaks up with you over the smallest things. He missed your call cause he didn't hear his phone ring while in the traffic? - He's not good enough for you and you two should break up. He was late 5 minutes to your date because Izana needed his help with something? - He's lowkey ready to commit seppuku, and of course, dramatically breaks up with you. It's tiring, honestly.
🚩Ran - gaslighter and manipulator par exellence! Undiagnozed NPD, but the symptoms are everywhere.
🚩Rindou - loves the gym more than you. Obsessed with working out and body building, won't eat normal food, spends all time in front of the mirror flexing and "checking his gains". Will either try to "get you into fitness" (force you to act the same way he does) or constantly tell you that you "don't understand" just how important it is to him. Is your 10th workout this week really more important than our anniversary, tho, Rindou?
🚩Mocchi - manspreads all the time, and manspreads badly. He's also that type that won't move away from the sidewalk if a woman is coming the opposite way.
🚩Madarame - probably not unexpected, but he's the biggest, worst incel of all. Lives in the manosphere and inhales the alpha bro bullshit podcasts.
🚩South - judges and publicly makes fun of your music taste. It doesn't matter what you listen to, unless it's 101% exactly the same as his taste, he'll be a real bitch about it. Of course, don't even dream about getting a hold of the aux cord!
🚩Shinichiro - doesn't shower regularly. Idk Shin, maybe your lack of personal hygiene was the reason for all those rejections so far? Just some food for thought...
🚩Takeomi - yet another one that's redder than the red army, but what you don't expect is how much he infantilizes you, especially if you are younger than him! Even if it's just one year age difference between you, he'll act all patronizing and constantly emphasise his "rich life experience" and tell you how "you don't understand some things because you are (too) young".
🚩Wakasa - secretly insecure about his height and gets super jealous if he sees you talking to a tall guy. Doesn't even matter if it's your blood relative or a random stranger asking directions in the street - Waka isn't having any of that. He'll sulk and jab at you for the whole day, never saying what the actual problem is.
🚩Benkei - Cannot find/keep a proper job to save his life! Got into some kind of beef with every single potential employer, so he's doomed to working at the gym for the rest of his days.
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wooyoungmybelovedhusband · 6 months ago
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ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ꜰᴀᴛᴇ
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PAIRING: Son of evil queen! Jeonghan x daughter of hades!reader | son of belle! Joshua x reader
WORD COUNT: 6k
⛧ SYNOPSIS: You were supposed to steal the wand, and take over the world – to prove that you were evil once and for all, but over the course of two days, you find yourself taken over by your complex feelings and lust.
CONTENT/WARNINGS: Brother! Seungcheol, Dom! Jeonghan & Joshua, childhood friend! Jeonghan, first love! Jeonghan, cheating, exhibition, fingerjng, degradation, unprotected sex, possessiveness, panty stuffing, spanking.
NOTE: Son of Gaston! Mingyu, Son of ursula! Dino.
JOIN THE TAGLIST: HERE
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«"A WHAT?"» You and Seungcheol exclaimed in unison while your mother did not bother to look at you while she shaped her nails. «"A chance to go to Auradon"» She repeats her previous words yet again to you and your brother.
You could feel your insides twisting from the mention of the dreadful place. «"Mother, we are not going to that stinky place where people walk around with bright princess clothes and tiaras"» You say, speaking up like usual. Your mother knew all too well, it would be you who would instantly disagree with her decision. Because Seungcheol had never gone against your mothers words, for she did not give him a mind either.
Your mother always had a profound hate towards your older brother, no matter what he'd try to do to show her he was as evil as her or – the fact that he was trying to be. Maybe that was the problem – it was the fact that Seungcheol was not evil. He tried, tried hard to be what his mother expected him to be, but he just couldn't get himself to shove an old person into an alley or steal candy from a hungry child. He just couldn't be evil.
Or maybe the fact that he had taken after his father's genes and could easily use the power of that powerful ember if he had the chance to pass that barrier, and specially – inherited the radiant dark blue hair.
But you on the other side - well, you had dark purple hair, and you were just - as evil as she wanted you to be.
«"I agree with her, we are not going."» Your head whips around to look at him, your mouth gaping in revelation. Your mother's eyes instantly narrow upon hearing him. Standing up from her chair, she walks closer to where you both stood. Your hands intertwined with Seungcheol's, giving them a squeeze while she stared at both of you, on coming face-to-face with you. «"You both do not have an option, You're doing this for us and yourselves."»
Letting go of his hand, you cross your arms, walking closer to her. You tilt your head slightly, «"How about a no?"»
Her eyes flamed green, making your own eyes mirror hers. The Isle and your mother may have been deprived of any magic for years, but your mother's power to defeat you and your brother was nothing special.
Your usual contest was interrupted out of the blue - surprisingly - by your father.
«"Maleficent"» He moved from his spot on the doorway, while your head snapped towards him. «"You're hurting my daughter with your shenanigans yet again."» Your mother could care less about his comment. She walks away while both of you are approached by your father.
«"Listen, kids. Just think about it both of you, imagine if we do not have this fucking barrier preventing us from our freedom. It's all so simple really, you both go there with the other VKs, steal that wand, let us out of this stinky place and we take over the world again."» Those were the same old shit, repeating over and over from your parent's mouths.
You never had a deplored hatred towards the Auradon Or the ‘King and Queen’ but gosh did you want to avenge them for the childhood that was taken away from you.
Your father takes a step closer towards Seungcheol, his hand firmly placing itself on his shoulder and squeezed threateningly. «“I'm sure my son wouldn't want to disappoint me, would he?”»
‘I was never your fucking son’ - Gosh did Seungcheol just want to spit that out on his face but the hand almost bone crushingly squeezing his shoulder, stopped him. His face lowers down slowly, «Yes, father.»
You roll your eyes, having already expected his defeat against your father. You walk out, going to the only person that knew you inside out.
You rest your head against Jeonghan's chest. There were no words exchanged between the two of you, but he knew exactly what was running in your head.
«“I don't wanna go, Hannie”» You say, breaking the silence. «”Hm and why is that?”»
You roll your eyes yet again at his words, lifting your head to look up at him. «”You really are going to make me say it ain't you?”» Jeonghan feigns innocence at your words, «”Hmm I don't know what you're talking about.”» Your hand slaps his chest playfully, «”You know well, I can't be away from you, you jerk.”»
Jeonghan chuckles at your words, «”Tell me my evil little Y/n, did you bother to check who was selected to go to Auradon?”» Your eyebrows knit slightly, eyeing him in confusion. «”What are you talking ‘bout?”»
Jeonghan's lips stretch in a heartwarming smile, «”I'm coming with you too, dummy.”» Your eyes widen in astonishment, and your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him down for a tight hug. «”Thank god I'll at least have you by my side, I can't imagine seeing all those princesses and their glamour, and manage to not puke.”»
Just as you say that, you hear someone clear their throat behind you. Your head snaps back to the person, and you find your brother standing there. «”I still exist you know”» Both of you laugh at his words, running to him while he pouts at the both of you.
Your fingers held the handle of your bag over your shoulders, while you waited for the other selected ones. Your expression swiftly turns disgusted when your eyes fall on the tall guy who emerges from the crowd. «”Don't tell me that jerk is coming too, gosh I can't have my life being ruined any more.”» Seungcheol chuckles next to you upon hearing you, knowing well you were talking about Gaston's son.
As if on the talk of the devil, Mingyu approached your figure, you knew him all too well to not guess his next words. «”Aren't you a little too cranky today, beautiful?”» He smirks down at you – god was he just as jerky as his father. You take a small step closer towards him, «”Fuck off before your face is unidentifiable by the time we walk out of the barrier.”» Mingyu scoffs under his breath, walking away from you.
«”He's right though, what's got you so cranky?”» You hear the familiar voice from behind and turn around to find Jeonghan walking up to you, his hands buried in his pockets while his bag hangs over his shoulder.
You let out a soft gasp, as soon as your eyes fell on him, his dark blue hair was turned into long black hair where his bangs fell over his face softly. You barely gave a mind about his words, while letting his arm wrap around your waist. «"What's up with the sudden hair change?”» He smiles smugly, his eyes meeting yours «”You like it? I did it for you.”» Jeonghan winks down at you at the end of his sentence, giggling under his breath when you roll your eyes at him.
«”I guess it looks good.”» You shrug him off before walking towards black limousine as you throw your bag inside.
Just as you were about to plop yourself onto the seats, you feel a tug at the back of your collar. You turn around to find your sworn enemy – Dino standing in front of you. His lips curl up in a smirk, «”It feels so nice to know that you're coming along, cause I want you to see me succeed at getting the wand before you can.”» You scoff at his words, «”Oh really? I didn't know you were so pathetically waiting for my validation.”»
His pupils dilate slightly in anger, and his hands fly to the collar of your shirt – you mirror him, tugging on his collar harshly.
«“Little girl thinks her parents are going to think she's really evil once she gets her hands on the wand, does she?”» You scoff at his words, but before you could speak anything else you feel Seungcheol and Jeonghan pull you back from his grip. «“So hot-headed.”» Jeonghan tchs under his breath but it was well audible for you. You shoot him a glare while you take your seat next to the window, grumpily.
You hear Seungcheol gasp under his breath next to you, when he finally steps out of the car. Completely contradicting you – who stood there with pure disgust and displease in your blood. Jeonghan clearly mirrored your feelings, as he stood next to you. You were met face-to-face with the new crowned prince who stood in front of all of you with a blue perfectly fitted formal suit, a napkin weirdly folded and kept in his pocket.
All the seven of you instantaneously recognized the man. ‘The great Crown Prince’ - the exact words the anchor person said the other day when you had been watching the only ever channel that was broadcasted in the Isle of the Lost.
«“Hi I'm Joshua Hong. The Crown Prince of Auradon.”» He speaks, causing you to snap out of your trance. His eyes turn into crescents when he smiles, and he holds out his hand to you. And you hold your hand out but just before your hands could meet, someone intervenes and shakes his hand. You look up to find Jeonghan, eyeing the man who was the same height as him with a forced smile.
You don't give it much of a thought and stand back. «“I don't think you need our introduction.”» Soon he retrieves his hand, snuggling it in between his pockets. «“Yea, definitely, I hope you make yourself comfortable here.”» He walks off and soon a bright cheerful skips happily towards you.
«“I'm Dokyeom, Fairy Godmother’s son!”» The mention of his mother instantly catches your attention, «“Fairy Godmother? Like the bibbidi bobbidi boo?”» He nods eagerly, his smile stretched ear-to-ear. All of you questioned how he managed to keep that smile so bright. «“Come along, I'll show you the way around!”»
Your heavy breaths are almost heard throughout the room in the museum. You sure had gotten lost from the others, but fuck you were lost in his dark brown eyes as he started down at you with gaping lips. «“H-Hannie, what are you doing?”»
You definitely did not expect to find yourself in this position, pinned against the smooth wall of the Museum of Auradon. Breathless and thoughtless under his gaze, his fingers disappeared inside your tight leather jeans while his free hand tucked your leg around his waist. «“Something I've desired to do for a long time, Y/n.”» and with that, his lips were back on yours, your tongues intertwining and he slowly caressed the skin of your thigh ever so softly. His breathing turns heavy in seconds mirroring yours, the sparks caused by the wet loud kisses push away the consciousness of your whereabouts and what you had to do.
You slowly part away with a heavy breath, your eyes meeting him in a hazy gaze. «“I think it's time I finally claim you as mine baby, all fucking mine.”»
Your next response gets caught in your throat and a choked moan leaves your lips as his hand slips past your pants. His fingers effortlessly move behind your panties, cupping you whole. His lips curled against the skin of your neck after noticing how the arousal seeped out of you. His hair tips tickled your ear lobe, as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. «“Looks like someone's as excited as I am.”»
«“Shut up”» Your words cause your jaw to be gripped tightly out of nowhere making you gasp. «“I may keep up with your bratty attitude all the time, but while you're under me, know your fucking place. Got it?”» Your throat runs dry from the way his jaw clenched in anger while his fingers continued to work on you.
«”I need words, baby.”» His stern toned words spark your brain in a way you could never imagine, «Yes, Han!»
Jeonghan innocently shoots you his angelic smile as if his fingers weren't knuckles deep inside you while everyone was wandering off searching for you. You moan into his ear as his fingers relentlessly move inside you, searching for your g-spot so skillfully. His curling fingers found your spot in no time, as he had you gripping on to his blue leather jacket ever so tightly as you parted your legs.
His hands come down to circle your waist in a split second to hold you against him. Your back arched while your eyes rolled back from the pleasure.
You probably didn't hate him in your whole life except for right now when he retreats his hand from your pants when a low «“Gonna cum”» slips past your lips. «“We gotta go before we get caught baby”» Jeonghan shoots you his smile yet again, with not an ounce of guilt in him. All you could do was stare at him with your tear glossed eyes, and let him manoeuvre your body out of the museum
Your hands clutched onto your books while you walked into Auradon Prep. You find Jeonghan sitting on the bleachers next to your brother, with his arm hanging around Seungcheol's shoulder. Before you could walk past him, you feel a familiar arm wrap around your waist. «“Where do you think you're going, sweetheart?”»
If you had heard the same words from Jeonghan just a day before at the same time, you would have elbowed him instantly. But you would be lying if his low voice did not give you butterflies from the way the name fell off his lips. You quickly free yourself from his embrace, your cheeks flaring red, but your body and his arms do not let you get any further away from him.
You look up at him in mock annoyance but his lips curl up around the corners. The bare distance between the both of you caused your memory to flash in front of your eyes, of last night. The fact that you had to take care of your little problem thanks to his antics. «“Don't try to get away from me.”»
All your movements come to a halt at his low order, and you huff in annoyance. But before you could speak to him any further, you hear a loud, «“Y/N!”» and you turn around to find Dokyeom and Woozi – Aurora's son, walking towards you. With all the strength you had, you break free from Jeonghan’s hold which was loose around your waist and fix the nonexistent curl in your outfit.
«“Hey! Would you like to join us for the preparation for Joshua's coronation?”» «“Sure!”» You never expected your voice to come out so high-pitched which would make Jeonghan snicker under his breath if he hadn't heard their request. Jeonghan shoots daggers down your figure while you walk away with Dokyeom.
«“So,”» You trail off, catching Dokyeom and Woozi's attention, «”It's not even been a month since I'm here, why'd you pick me?”» Dokyeom shoots you his infamous smile, «”Because Joshua hyung wanted one of the VKs to give their ideas since you're also a part of Auradon Prep. And well certainly, he suggested you would be a great option.”»
You hesitantly smile from his words, not quite sure what was going on, and what your reaction was supposed to be. «”How's everything going on?”» You flinch when you hear an oddly familiar voice behind you, and you look back to find Joshua towering over you.
«”Gosh, you scared me!”» You exclaimed at him to which his eyes turn into crescents as he lets out a little giggle. «”Oh I did not mean to.”»
You step away from him, so he could talk to the two in-charges. Your bottom lip juts out in boredom while you stand there. Your trail of thoughts is interrupted by Joshua mentioning your name out of nowhere, only for you to look up at him to find him looking at you with questioning eyes. «”Would you care to join me in my office, Y/n? I would like to have a conversation with you.”»
His gentle tone and voice contradicted Jeonghan's teasing tone and low voice, but it sure made you flustered either way but you mentally slap yourself before you could be so.
«”What'd you want to talk about, Joshie?”» The man looks at you, quite caught off guard by the nickname but he proceeds to his seat nonetheless. «”Joshie?”» He questions only to be met with your unbothered expression while you take your seat in front of his desk.
«“So why'd you bring me here?”» You decide to get straight to the point, without beating around the bush for long. You cock your eyebrows at him only to be met with a quite surprised expression.
«“Well, do you know for a fact that we have cameras installed in all the buildings owned by the king and queen?”» You suddenly straighten your back from the topic, «“Yea?”» Joshua breathily giggles a bit before leaning forwards on the table. «“Did you know we have hidden cameras installed which are not quite accessible to everyone?”» You furrow your eyebrows slightly. «“What do you mean, Joshua? Get to the point.”»
«“Alright then, could you explain this?”» He turns the laptop in your direction, the image of your figure being pinned against the wall while Jeonghan has his hands dipped inside your pants. You were too startled to notice the fact that Joshua was now behind you, with his torso leaning down next to you with his hands in his pocket. «“I have a lot of questions, princess. But god could I not help but want to make that pretty face scrunch up like that for me.”»
The irony of the nickname and his words go straight down to your cunt. «“Oh how I would love to wrap my hand around that neck of yours baby.”» A low moan gets caught in your throat. «“Fuck! Isn't this wrong?”»
«“Did not know the evil little girl cared about what's wrong or what's right.”» Although the man towered over you from behind you, you could hear the smirk in his voice. His words cause your demeanour to change in a split second. You raise yourself and rest your bottom on the edge of his desk. Your fingers wander off to pull him by his collar, and you click your tongue before whispering, «“Oh Joshie, wouldn't your people be so disappointed in you for this? Imagine what they're going to do if they find out their crown prince is fucking a VK”»
«“You're quite bold for a slut who was rubbing her thighs just from meek words while she watched herself .”» Saying that, Joshua’s hands move to grasp your wrist in one hand before he's turning you around and bending you over instantaneously. His large hand covers your ass almost completely, as he caressed the soft skin over the leather.
You yelp when his hand comes down on your ass, catching you off-guard. «“Mhm let's see, you think your little lover would be excited to know the fact that you're bending over with your ass out for another man?”» His words look down on you, but gosh you were not supposed to get wetter as each word left his mouth. So instead of giving into the low whine threatening to escape, you decided to taunt him. «“Really? Cause what are your-”»
You barely get to finish when his hands come down to slap your ass again. «“So fucking fiesty aren't you?”»
Joshua's fingers tuck under your pants, swiftly pulling off your pants with your panties. He tears away your panties hastily, leaving behind a red mark on your inner thighs from his rough move. «“Josh-”» Your words are cut off from his fingers pushing the soaked fabric into your mouth. «“At least that's gonna shut you up for some time, wouldn't it baby?”»
Joshua held your hands behind your back with one hand while his other hand undid the zipper of his own formal pants. «"Do you think you can handle my cock? In this tight fucking pussy?”»
Joshua's hand slap against your smooth skin yet again, before sliding down to your heat. His thick fingers plunge right inside you within seconds thanks to your dripping arousal. Your moans came out muffled as you pushed your ass desperately into his touch. Your body and voice box betray you as soon as his fingers thrusted them deep inside you. «“Look at you moaning already, you like it don't ya?”»
You whine at the way his thick fingers stay still inside you while being knuckles-deep. You move your hips over his hand only to be welcomed with a slap over your ass. «“So darn impatient, darling.”» Joshua's tone came out sounding annoyed, but God would he be lying if he said he didn't like your bratty behaviour. Contradicting his words, his actions made it seem obvious how much he needed you to be what you are when he pressed his rock-hard cock against your ass.
Unexpectedly for you, his free hand moves forward to pull the fabric out of your mouth. You barely have any mind to question the way he stuffed your panties inside the back pocket of his pants before his fingers curl up inside you.
«“Let's give you what you want, shall we?”» His fingers thrust forward inside you, and your hands fumble to grab the corner of his desk before he is scissoring you open. «“Or should I leave you hanging like he did yesterday?”»
A loud ‘no’ escapes you, followed by a series of ‘please’ and ‘let me cum’. The thought of having to be edged again made your brain turn jelly, and you push your hips back into his hand yet again. Joshua's dick twitches in his pants from your bratty move, and his hand comes down to hold your hips in a bruising grasp.
«“Be nice, or else I might as well just use your mouth instead of this slutty cunt.”» The alternative change in his words and tone did something to your whole body. The way he spoke to you in such a soft tone with praising words, to change it downright degrading and condescending.
Your thighs shook convulsively with everything going on, and your inner walls clenched around his fingers. You moan out loudly when you feel the cold metal of his fingers touch your inner walls, showing you just how deep he was, getting you cumming around him in seconds.
Joshua pulls his fingers out, and instantly groans at the sight of your own cum seeping out of your hole. «“As much as I'd love to just fuck your mouth right now, I'd rather fill this cunt of yours with my cum.”»
Without a second thought, Joshua pushes his cock inside you. A loud gasp erupts from you, and the way his girth stretches you out causes you to lift your legs off the ground. «“Josh!- fuck- Slow down- nngh”» Your words are cut down by his two of his fingers which invade your mouth harshly. His thumb presses down on to your tongue, «“I get to fucking decide what I do, you're gonna take what I give like the pretty girl you are, alright?”»
Your eyeballs are rolling back in pleasure when his hips slap against your ass, his thrusts so fast it makes your vision go blurry in seconds from tears. The heat radiating from your body has the glass under you, foggy.
His hand which pressed down on your tongue moved to grip your hair locks. He yanks your head up, and your eyes are – yet again – met with the lewd image of you and Jeonghan playing on the screen. But the things he was doing to you right there was incomparable to what played on the device. But God forbid, the dirtiness of the whole scene had you dripping down onto his balls and your own legs.
«“Yea, go ahead, watch yourself. Watch how fucking slutty you can be for some dick. Wonder what your lover's going to think about this.”»
Your hazy brain could – neither comprehend his words nor – realise that the video was playing on loop. Low words of ‘harder’ and ‘please’ are released from you between your moans. And Joshua was more than ecstatic to comply. His hips almost leave behind marks from the way they met so harshly with the skin of your ass, you were closer to your edge than you knew.
With a loud scream, your walls pulsated around him as your orgasm came crashing down. Joshua grunts and groans behind you, riding out his own orgasm as he stained your walls with his cum.
You both take minutes before Joshua's hips cease to move, and he pulls his now-soft cock out of your abused hole.
You slowly push your body upwards, your hands moving to brush through your hair to make it look tad-bit presentable.
«“Not going to lie, that was so fucking hot. Didn't know you'd have this side to you.”» You say right after you finish zipping your pants. Joshua's lips curl up, looking so innocent that it makes you doubt if he was the one who had your legs shaking just now. «“I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it.”» You take slow steps towards him, getting closer towards him. «“Looks like the future ideal king for the people has a nasty little side to him.”»
Your eyes slowly trail down to his plump lips, mirroring his own eyes. Your eyes linger on his perfectly sculpted lips for longer than you'd expected, longer than you'd wanted. But your head is swift to turn to the side when he leans down to try and connect your lips together. Causing his lips to be met with your cheek.
Your eyes closed shut when as you stilled in your place, Joshua pressed his lips against your cheek a little more before pulling away. You surely did feel bad for that, but the image of Jeonghan and the feeling his lips left on you, had you chasing that taste more than anything.
Your eyes open ever so slowly and they widen when they find Jeonghan's figure watching through the glass window from afar. You could barely make out his expressions but your heartbeat turns uneven and your eyes blare green. Joshua, who had moved steps away from you, looks at you, meeting your glowing eyes.
«“Y-Y/n your eyes-”» before he could finish his sentence, you're running out of his office.
You pace around in your room, there was little to no light illuminating across the roomroom, just how you usually liked it and wanted it to be. Your radiant green eyes flared up every second, you felt like everything was coming crashing down. The inner voices inside your brain screaming at you for everything, you could currently care less about the fact that the whole reason you were in Auradon was to steal the wand. At least not when your first love and your only comfort person is probably going to leave you.
You hear a single knock on the door and your body stills in your tracks, a low pathetic sound escapes you. You take slower steps than ever, knowing exactly who was behind the door. You barely open the door a few inches before the door is slammed open. You flinch from the loud noise, but the man in front of you could care less. (He couldn't)
His hand covers your neck whole while he pins you against the door. «“You liked that huh? Getting your cunt fucked by someone else which wasn't me?”» There was a faint blue glint in his eyes, while his black long strands fell over his face ever so perfectly. His jaw clenched in anger, but the hand around your neck just held you in place. «“Jeonghan, I-I can explain.”»
You choke on your words, and a tear slips out of the corner of your eye. And Jeonghan's face instantly becomes soft, and the hand around your neck swiftly cups your cheek. His other hand pulls you into his embrace as he circles his arm around your waist. «“I-I'm so fucking sorry Hannie, I-I didn't- I-I'm so sorry, don't leave me, please don't”»
This was probably the second time he ever saw you cry this hard in his embrace, and he had known you for his life. Jeonghan's heart clenches from the way tears rolled down your eyes. His hand squeezes your cheeks a little, «“Baby, stop crying, look at me please?”»
If Jeonghan was honest, he wasn't really phased by the fact that you had fucked with Joshua. But what infuriated him was the fact that you'd let him cum inside you. But he would he lying if he said it didn't turn him on when he saw you getting fucked by Joshua, his dick twitched in his pants when he realised what kind of effect he still had on you when he saw your reaction to the clip. So maybe all that anger was just for show so he could fuck you dumb.
By the time your tears had stopped rolling down your eyes, you looked up at him slowly. «“You didn't let him kiss you, did you?”» You eye him in confusion, «“What? No-”» Your lips were met with his soft ones in a split second. Your eyes closed and your body melted in his embrace. You hum into the kiss, a low moan from you being swallowed by him as you place your hands around his neck.
Pulling away, Jeonghan looks down at your lips. The bare few seconds of kissing them harshly got them all red already, making him curse under his breath. «“I'm not angry, angel,”» Never had you expected yourself to get flustered over that unlikely nickname but unexpected things happen, right?
His lips are back on yours before you know it, but with more chastity, his tongue invades your mouth while he groans into your mouth. You moan around his tongue, letting your hips grind on his thigh unconsciously.
Jeonghan pulls away slightly, his lips still brushing over your lips, «“I'm fucking jealous that he got to fuck this cunt of yours before me.”» There was a seductive glint in your eyes when you tightened around his neck «“Then fuck me till I forget he was ever inside me.”» His parted lips curve into a smirk, «“Oh fuck I will.”»
His arms move you towards the bed, his figure manhandling you to lay on the mattress, before his hands instantly come down to spread your legs apart. Jeonghan barely wastes any time before pulling your purple leather pants down your hips and off your legs. The cold air hitting your bare pussy had you wincing. He presses his thumb over your clit, applying slight pressure while rubbing slow circles.
You groan from the stimulation, already having fucked one, your legs soon started shaking due to the pleasure. «“So sensitive aren’t you? He fucked you so hard, you can barely handle this?» Jeonghan’s tone was humiliating, making slick seep out of you.
Your lips part widely in a silent gasp when his index and middle finger push into you in a swift move. Instantly curling up as they thrust into your G-spot, his lips tug at the corner from the way your face scrunches up in pleasure – which wasn't such an unfamiliar sight for him but gosh did he want to savour it so badly.
And your sensitiveness soon had your thighs closing around his hands while your own gripped the sheets with your nails digging into the fabric as you came around his fingers.
As much as Jeonghan yearned to sit back and watch your fucked out face while your pants bounced off the walls and filled his ears – his patience ran thin and he was soon undoing his pants, pulling his boxers off to free his cock.
«“How about this, angel? Let's see how many times I can make you cum till I imprint my dick inside that tight little pussy of yours”» His words had you clenching around nothing while his hands came down to grip your wrists together.
Moans guised as gasps leave your mouth when you feel his length slide in between your folds, teasing you with his slow movements before he slammed his cock into you.
Jeonghan’s grip on your wrists tighten, while he leans down to lock your lips with his. His teeth tug on your bottom lip, almost leaving behind a bruise. Skin-slapping sounds resonate through the room as his hips meet yours harshly for every thrust.
Pulling away, Jeonghan moves down to kiss your jaw slowly while whispering – «“Gonna fuck you till you fucking forget his name, babygirl.”» The nicknames, along with his long fingers sliding over your skin and gripping it so bruisingly all while his dick managing to hit all the right spots in you had you floating in your headspace.
Your mind felt clouded from the pleasure as Jeonghan had you cumming hard around him in minutes. Nevertheless, that didn't stop his hips from slamming into you at a faster pace. His hands come up to move the hair strands that stuck to your forehead due to sweat, out of the way. «“You're mine, angel. And we're gonna win this together.”»
The next day when you woke up, you found yourself in a position no different than that you slept the last day – your face nuzzled against Jeonghan’s chest, his arms secured around you.
But soon the both of you make your way to the main hall of Auradon prep due to the loud announcement that told you to. Your heels clicked against the stony path as you made your way next to Seungcheol with Jeonghan following next to you. You look around the surroundings, and your eyes froze on the person in the table right next to you – the same blonde head and the same brown eyes from yesterday.
Your eyes stay on his before you are pulled back into the present by the King’s voice.
“Good morning Auradon Prep, this will come as quite a surprise for you, but three weeks from now, The Royal Cotillion will take place. The preparations will begin from today onwards, and so will the proposals for the Royal dance.” His next words are almost drowned out as you take in the information.
Jeonghan turned around to grasp your hand – mirroring Joshua who had moved a few steps closer to you. “Y/n will you be my date?” The two voices echoed in your way – all while you stood there, absolutely dumbfounded about how you found yourself in this situation. How had you forgotten your main goal along the way? Was this what you were fated to? But most importantly, who were you going to choose?
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ladymoody · 1 month ago
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can you make a story with theo and yn and they’re friends but we have a boyfriend and like he doesn’t treat us very good so we have sex with theo? i know its cheating if u don’t feel comfortable don’t do it🤗 thank u💜
OUR LITTLE SECRET
theodore nott x fem!reader
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warnings: nsfw +18, cheating, swearing, dirty talk, explicit language, breast squeezing, fingering, p in v penetration, unprotected sex, rough sex, dom!theo, creampie.
word count: 2,7k
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ masterlist ; playlist ; characters list ; my website
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mr. brown was on my bed looking like he was judging me. he was my childhood soft toy and I knew he would've hated seeing me cry for a damn boy. I hugged him - my dear teddy bear - squeezing him to my chest as the memories of what had happened with my boyfriend flowed back into my mind.
"you're a whore, that's what you are."
"all you do is insult me! but can you really face the matter and have a bloody conversation like a civil person?!"
"oh, are you saying I'm immature? bitch, have you looked in the mirror? because all I see is a damn child! you will never be good enough."
you will never be good enough. my brain wouldn't stop playing that scene and making me listen to that sentence all over again. I wasn't good enough and will have never been.
warm tears started sliding down my cheeks, I started sobbing and squeezing mr. brown harder. all I wanted to do was bury my face somewhere and stay there for the rest of my life, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. I wasn’t good enough.
but then my bitter look lit up and I stopped crying for a second, before starting again but a bit more softly. theodore. he was my friend and perhaps he could’ve helped me.
I picked up my phone and unlocked it, ready to text him.
💬 hey. — I typed.
theo answered within a few seconds.
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and theo never read my last message. or at least from the SMS app, because I was pretty sure he had done it from the notification centre and decided not to text back. I sighed knowing he was already in his car to drive to my place.
(skip time)
I heard a knock on my window but ignored it as I was lying in my bed, facing the opposite wall and hugging mr. brown. I thought it was the wind blowing outside at first, since it was raining, but the knocking continued and the sound of it increased more and more. I rolled over to glance at it and I immediately found myself gasping as I sat up, seeing theodore standing on my balcony.
I was on the second floor of a building, and there was also a small staircase nearby. I wasn’t surprised of seeing him there, I knew him too well not to know he was stubborn and eventually managed to come over, but I was concerned when I saw him completely soaked.
I stood up and left my teddy bear on my bed, making my way towards the window. “have you gone completely insane?”
theo smiled slightly sheepishly as he stepped inside, his clothes wetting my carpet.
“you know I’ve got a front door, right?”
“I thought your parents were asleep at this hour.”
“so what? was climbing up my window a better idea?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“you’re drenched, theo.”
“and you’re crying, y/n.”
I stopped and realized that I had been crying, still thinking about the discussion my boyfriend and I had. I quickly wiped away my tears and blinked a few times in an attempt to make the redness go away from my eyes.
“you told me to come over and-”
“no, I didn’t! I just wanted to chat. no need to come over, theo. ugh… you’re completely soaked in rainy water.” I walked out of my room just to come back some seconds later with a towel wrapped around my arm.
“here.”
theo took the towel and started to rub it on his head to dry his hair off, then he placed his leather jacket on my chair and continued to dry himself.
“what did that bastard do to you?” theo spoke passive-aggressively.
“nothing, theo… it’s nothing. I’m more worried about you catching a damn cold.”
theodore rushed towards me and grabbed my face — his hand holding my cheeks and squeezing them in a way my lips were all squashed. “if you don’t tell me what he’s done to you, I will ask him myself, and trust me, he won’t be able to speak again after that.”
theo had always been very protective towards me and I had always appreciated that. we were good friends and whenever my boyfriend and I had fights, theo was there for me. through time he started hating my boyfriend more and more, as I kept telling him the way he treated me.
“he was rude again. nothing to be concerned about. I just overreacted, theo.”
“no, y/n. if it’s something that moved you, it was something serious.”
“listen, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just wanted some company…”
theodore saw the look of sadness and vulnerability on my face, and he softened up. he sighed and loosened his grip on my face, then he weakly smiled at me before leaving my chin.
“come here…” he pulled me in a hug and I happily hugged him back.
“he doesn’t deserve you…” he murmured and I let a few tears slide down my cheeks. “shh… it’s okay, I’ve got you…”
I felt safer in theo’s arms than in my boyfriend’s.
theo gently pulled away wiping away my tears as he looked down at me. “you deserve someone who can appreciate you and love you unconditionally. you definitely don’t deserve someone like that bastard you’re dating.”
theo was right, indeed. but I loved my boyfriend and I couldn’t bring myself to admit I deserved better. I just nodded without adding anything.
theo’s hands were on my hips gripping them firmly, every now and then roaming from the small of my back to my waist. he was looking at me with those piercing eyes of his, and he was incredibly sexy.
“if he only knew how many things I’m thinking of his girlfriend…” he said. his voice a little above a whisper.
“…what do you mean, theo?”
oh, I perfectly knew what he meant. yet, I wanted him to say it out loud both because I couldn’t believe it yet, and because the thought of it was making me aroused.
“I could be a better boyfriend than him.”
“theo…” I wanted to sound mature, sensible, and disagreeing. instead, all that came out of my mouth was a whine. a moan of arousal.
“I could treat you so good… and it could be our little secret.” he pleaded.
“you know I shouldn’t be doing this, right?” I said as my arms automatically wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer than two friends should be.
theo’s hands gripped my hips more firmly, flushing me against him and making our bodies feel each other’s heat. I knew it was so wrong, cheating is wrong, but this felt so right… we together felt so right. theo had always been a good guy when it came to treating women properly, so I knew I would’ve put myself in good hands, yet it was still cheating and I felt myself torn between him and my boyfriend.
“theo…” I looked away, avoiding his gaze. but he soon grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. he didn’t wait any further and cupped my cheek, pressing his lips against mine.
at first, I was about to pull away and yell — “what the fuck!”, but the softness of his lips mixed with his aggressive and firm grip had me kissing him back eagerly.
he let out a low moan as he felt my lips moving against his in equal passion, and he bent on his legs — our lips not leaving each other for a second — as his hands grabbed my thighs and he lifted me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist as he securely held me by my butt and pressed me against the nearest wall. all my paranoia was gone and any possible thought of my boyfriend was no longer lingering in my mind as it was all replaced by how good theo was making me feel. I’ve always had secret fantasies about me and him because he was the only decent treatment I got from a male figure. not only did my boyfriend mistreat me, but he was also quite bad at kissing and having sex — his kisses were too sloppy and wet and I hadn’t had a good orgasm in MONTHS.
“all for me… you’re all for me now…” theo muttered against my lips between kisses. “I’ve been jerking off thinking about you every day… I’ve had dreams about you leaving your boyfriend, stripping in front of me, and riding me as an apology for dating such a dork…”
I mentally chuckled at his words, it was such a… unique fantasy.
“my god…” I moaned and he liked it. he broke the kiss and smirked, carrying me to my bed.
I giggled slightly and he grinned as he laid me on it and climbed over me. his right forearm was next to my head, allowing him to prop himself and not crash his weight on me, while his left hand tightly gripped my hip.
theo and I kept making out on my bed, until I felt his hardness pressing against my hip and I pulled away.
“I’m not sure we should we be doing this… if my boyfriend finds out-” theo cut me off with another kiss, and I couldn’t get the strength to pull away anymore. he just felt too good.
his hand slid up to my top, gripping and squeezing my boob. I panted and broke the kiss for a few seconds as I pressed my forehead against his. theo kept his eyes closed and smirked at the feeling of my breast in his hand, then he moved under the fabric.
“ohh! yes…” I arched my back. my boyfriend had never touched me like that — he always skipped straight to the act and didn’t do anything to pleasure me.
“you like that?” he murmured as he began to leave kisses on my neck. I simply nodded, not being able to do anything else for the position I was at that moment.
theo’s hand teasingly shifted down my stomach, leaving my breast all alone again — swollen, deprived of his touch, and sore. I wanted so much more. he reached my lower belly and played with the waistband of my shorts for a bit, and then he slid his hand inside my panties giving me goosebumps at the feeling of his long and slim fingers touching me down there. I let out a louder moan which was soon quieted down by his lips on mine, his thumb rubbing my clit.
“theo… ohh… fuck!” he smirked and chuckled to himself before slightly nibbling at my earlobe and continuing his trail of heated kisses on my neck and jawline.
“yeah, doll… be loud for me…” his hips moved instinctively against mine to seek some friction — I could tell he was very horny and I was too.
I shut my eyes and arched my back once again as I felt his fingers starting to stretch me mercilessly. they went in and out so effortlessly that I could feel my lower belly burn due to pleasure. “yes! don’t stop!”
“I know, baby… come on… come on my fingers… show me just how much I’m better than your idiotic boyfriend.” and there my walls coated his fingers, loud whimpers and moans left my mouth as I covered his hand with my juices.
“yeah! like that…” he smirked and pumped his fingers inside my pussy a few more times, before taking them out and bringing them into his mouth. he licked them clean while he looked at me, enjoying the sight of me all needy and almost helpless on the bed.
“I can’t hold back anymore.” he said as he sat up and set his hands on his belt, beginning to undo it. I was excited I might have let out another moan just at the sight of him freeing himself and he couldn’t help but notice it.
he hurried to take his pants off as soon as the leather belt left his jeans’ loops. theo pulled them down letting me see his huge erection pressing against the fabric of his black boxers.
“please…” I whined.
“I know, I know…” my eyes widened and my eyebrows lifted as I saw theo pulling his underwear down, it meeting his pants at his ankles. his cock stood so perfectly, throbbing and almost screaming to get inside of me.
none of us wanted to waste any further time, in fact, he immediately pulled my shorts and panties off in one quick move, allowing him to have a full view of my cunt. he lined up against me and thrust hard, not even leaving me a moment to get adjusted to his size — which was way bigger than my boyfriend’s. as he pumped inside of me we both finished to undress each other, eventually leaving us completely bare and exposed. he brought my legs above his shoulders and laid them there, his hands on them to keep them steady. I gripped the sheets, twisting them and pulling them as theo hit perfectly my g-spot.
“does your boyfriend fuck you like this?” he panted as he ran his hand through his brown hair, keeping it away from his forehead and the drops of sweat that were creating.
I knew my boyfriend had never had me like this. never. he was so incapable and goofy, that he put himself in the first place not even worrying about making me come. theo was being so damn good… I felt his big dick filling me so well, his cock head teasing my cervix. it was the best sensation I had ever felt.
“no…” I panted grabbing his arms and pulling him down on me so I could hold onto his shoulders. my nails dug deep into his skin, probably leaving a few scratches here and there, and making him groan in pain and satisfaction.
“I know… yet he gets this pretty pussy all to himself, mh?”
he was going so damn fast as if he wanted to prove to me he was better than my boyfriend, as if he had joined a competition, as if he wanted to claim me as his and remove the memory of my boyfriend from my mind.
all I could do was let out a strangled chuckle, very similar to a whimper. I know I was close.
“theo… I’m… yes! just like that!” theo chuckled at my moans, he enjoyed being shamelessly praised by me and he knew how good he was in bed.
“let me come inside you, please… don’t make me pull out…” he sounded like he was whimpering so I realized he was getting as close as me. I couldn’t think of any other answer beyond a simple “yes”, even if I knew he wasn’t wearing a condom and I wasn’t on birth control.
as soon as I permitted him, I felt his pace quickening — if that was even possible — and he bit my shoulder, burying his face in the crook of my neck. in a matter of seconds I felt his hot seed spilling inside of me, coating my insides and slightly dripping out of my folds and onto the bed. he came groaning into my ear, which only turned me on more and made me come right after him. our breathings were unsteady and rapid and I felt him slowing down, his cock’s tip gradually leaving my g-spot to pull out.
he kissed my neck, his eyes still shut while mine were lidded and my eyebrows curved in an upside-down frown of pleasure and vulnerability. his lips leisurely went up to kiss my jaw, then went up further and find mine to capture in a lazy, yet passionate, kiss.
his hand grabbed my hip and then rested on my lower belly, caressing my skin. “you drive me incredibly crazy…” he whispered between kisses.
“come to me every time he doesn’t treat you right and I’ll show you just how a real man can appreciate such a beautiful woman like you.”oh theo… what have you done to me?
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steddieas-shegoes · 9 months ago
Text
it's not ever what it looks like
for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is saying you're sorry'
rated m | 3,299 words | cw: language, implied sexual content | tags: angst with a happy ending, arguing, established relationship, hurt/comfort, rock star eddie munson, teacher steve harrington, modern au, steve thinks eddie is cheating on him but HE ISN'T I PROMISE, marriage proposal
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
It wasn't the first time Steve woke up to pictures and articles about Eddie being seen with some model or actor, but it was the first time he'd actually been worried.
Eddie had been distant lately. Usually, when he was on tour, he'd call Steve on his lunch break and text him when he got off of work, and he'd try to Facetime him after his show if it wasn't in a different time zone.
But for the past week or so, he had excuses. They sounded legitimate until one of the afternoons he said the band was caught up in an interview so he couldn't call and Jeff called him ten minutes later to ask where Eddie was. Even with that, Steve hadn't assumed he was cheating.
Steve figured maybe Eddie was just tired or his social battery had run out. Those kinds of things happened before occasionally.
But not daily for over a week.
He was barely even responding to texts, and the ones he did respond to were hours later and hardly adding to any conversation.
And now this article.
There was a picture of Eddie standing with his arm around some guy who was taller than him, both of them laughing, looking at each other like...well. Steve knew that look because it'd only ever been pointed at him, but now he was seeing it pointed at just some guy.
The headline read EDDIE MUNSON GIVING UP HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART FOR SUPERMODEL SUPERSTAR?
Steve decided the only way through this was to read the entire article. At least then he could probably convince himself they were wrong.
Except the article went on to explain how Eddie hadn't brough Steve to any shows yet this tour, and how he'd been flirting more with the crowd after the show instead of just during it, how he was seen at two bars over the last week when he usually doesn't go out after shows.
It went on to say that these pictures were taken shortly after they'd been seen sneaking away from a group of people they'd been hanging out with and that they seemed very close for the entire night. The article said the guy was a male lingerie model who made it big posing for Gucci last year. He'd just landed his first film role as a supporting actor and was looking to land a lead role soon.
Steve hated him. And he was getting a terrible feeling in his gut about what was going on.
He had 26 unread texts, most of them from Robin, Dustin, and Gareth.
All of them had said mostly the same things:
I can't get ahold of Eddie.
He wouldn't do this.
Something else is going on.
Call me when you can.
The last one was Gareth, and it's not that he and Gareth weren't close, but they never talked on the phone.
He tried not to think about he didn't have a single message or missed call from Eddie.
Steve called Gareth.
"Steve. Shit, I'm glad you called."
"What's going on?"
Gareth sighed. "Ed's kinda losing it. But before you call him-"
"Why would I call him? Shouldn't he be the one to call me? If he wants to be with some supermodel, he should probably be the one to break up with me, right?" Steve could feel tears gathering in his eyes, stinging the back of his throat. "I'm not sure why I have to be the one to hurt and do the breaking up."
"Steve-"
"Is there something you needed Gareth? Or were you just trying to defend your friend?"
"There's nothing to defend! I swear-"
"Yeah. Well. Tell him to call me if he wants to explain anything, I guess."
Steve hung up just before a sob ripped from his throat.
He never had to worry about Eddie being a famous rock star, spending 6-7 months of the year gone, meeting all kinds of flashy celebrities. Eddie loved him so much, he never had any doubt that he'd always be his first choice.
Until now.
It was a shitty feeling and he had to be at work in less than an hour.
No time to wallow.
He sent a quick text to Robin to let her know he was okay, but needed to focus on getting through work, then shut off his phone.
"Is everything okay?" the art teacher, Mrs. Phineas, asked him on their lunch break. "You seem out of it today."
"Just a migraine," Steve gave a half-smile, hoped it was enough to convince her to leave him alone. He still hadn't turned on his phone, and at this point, he didn't really want to.
She tilted her head to the side. "When are you off to see your man?"
"Don't know," he shrugged, ignoring the tug in his stomach, the sudden weight in his chest.
"Ah," she said, turning back to her soup. "Something happened."
"Nothing happened!"
"You look two seconds away from crying," she gave him a deadpan look. "Did he hurt you?"
Mrs. Phineas was a little older than Wayne, close to retirement, and had been his closest friend from the moment he started teaching at this school nearly six years ago. He'd told her everything about Eddie, their relationship, his hopes of Eddie taking a longer break after this tour so they could have some time just the two of them, maybe make a real plan for their future.
Steve nodded once.
Her hand covered his and she squeezed his fingers in her own. "I may not know him half as well as I know you, but I know that boy loves you. You two will get through this, whatever it is."
"I dunno if we will," Steve whispered, scared to speak louder and risk the tears falling. He'd been doing so well today.
She patted his hand and went back to eating, saying nothing else about it.
His students had caught on early that he wasn't quite his usual self, and the group of second graders had been on their best behavior because of it. As the dismissal bell rang and he started calling for bus riders to line up, someone walked through his door.
Eddie walked through his door.
He bit back the anger, knowing his students loved Eddie and wouldn't know he was here for any reason other than to say hello.
"Mr. Munson!" A few of them yelled as most of them ran up to him instead of getting in the line Steve asked them to.
"Hi kiddos!" Eddie was faking it, but luckily the students couldn't tell. "Sorry, but you guys have to listen to Mr. H right now. I promise I will come say hi again tomorrow."
The students grumbled about it and Steve took in his appearance.
He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept the night before, his hair was in a messy bun instead of perfectly arranged to fall on his shoulders, and he was wearing Steve's hoodie that had suspiciously gone missing the last time he'd been home.
The fact that Steve's first thought was how badly he wanted to pull him into a hug was not a good sign.
He checked names off the list as they filtered out the door and then called the car riders to line up. He went through the list and made sure everyone made it into the hall where they'd be called when their parent pulled up before turning back to Eddie.
He closed his door and made his way to his desk, ignoring the way Eddie awkwardly stood by one of the student desks in the front.
"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, signing off of his work email and organizing tomorrow's lesson plan.
"I needed to explain-"
"Right."
"That article wasn't supposed to come out yet."
Steve's jaw dropped. So he wasn't going to deny it, he was just gonna act like it was the media's fault for releasing it before he could talk to Steve.
"Yeah. So you decided to come break up with me in person because you got caught cheating instead of doing it over the phone right before the article hit online. Got it."
Steve was not going to cry about this. Not in front of Eddie.
He was going to go home, shower, try to eat something, and then he was going to cry for the next 10 hours.
"No, Steve, you don't understand."
"You're right, I don't. I don't understand how you could throw away a 10 year relationship for a model who doesn't even know your middle name. I don't understand how you can fly all the way here and interrupt my day at my job to try to explain to me why you were so cozy with a guy who doesn't even know that you like your hot chocolate with Bailey's instead of regular milk. I really don't understand how you couldn't even bother to text or call me one single time since the article to even try to explain anything." Steve wiped his eyes furiously, angry that his tears were betraying him. "I don't understand why you would expect me to care for reasons."
Eddie wordlessly picked Steve's phone up off the desk and powered it on. He set it down in front of Steve and waited.
Texts and calls and emails came through all at once, hundreds of notifications lighting up his screen.
Many of them from Eddie himself.
"Go ahead. Open them," Eddie didn't sound mad, he just sounded resigned.
So Steve read through the texts, many of them different renditions of 'please Steve, call me' and 'I love you sweetheart I'm sorry.' Not promising.
But then he started playing the voicemails.
"Stevie, it's really not what it looks like. It's never what it looks like. You know that. Please call me as soon as you can. I love you."
"I can explain everything if you call me back. I promise you it isn't anything more than a business thing. Everyone in the band can tell you. I swear. Just. Please."
"I'm getting on a flight to you now. I'm gonna keep trying to call you even when I land. I need you to know what's going on."
"Just landed. I'm on my way to you. The guys are a little pissed, but you're more important than the show tonight. I'm not doing my own thing until I know you understand."
Steve looked up at him, tears still falling down his face.
"Well?" He asked, broken.
"His name is Wyatt. He's trying to make it in the acting world and he was pretty much told he was the top choice for playing lead in a movie that's in early stages of development," Eddie spoke quickly.
"Great for him."
"It's actually great for all of us. The movie is a biopic of Corroded Coffin. He's expected to play me."
At any other time, Steve would be proud, he'd be jumping up and down at this chance for them, and he'd be kissing Eddie without a care in the world.
But he still saw that picture and that article, and no matter how much "business" was going on, it was pretty clear that wasn't all that was going on.
"So you thought sleeping with him would help him get into the role? Or did you just wanna get into him?" Steve bit back.
"The article was wrong! The picture was just really conveniently timed! You know the media are vultures, Stevie. How many times have they written about us breaking up? How many times have they said Gareth and I have secretly been married for the last two years? How many times have they tried to post shitty things about your relationship before me to prove that you can't possibly be queer?" Eddie pulled Steve to his feet and cupped his face in his hands. "I've been spending the last two weeks talking with him and the producer and the guys to see what might work best for production. They want us involved in as much of the writing and filming part as possible. And he had time in his schedule to come to a show last night, so we all took him out after so he could get a taste of what it's like for us. He's really excited for the role and all of us are really excited for the movie."
Steve felt stupid. Well, maybe not stupid. His feelings were valid and he wasn't dramatic about what he'd seen.
But he did feel a little shitty about doubting Eddie.
Eddie, who had literally flown across the country to explain in person so that there was no way Steve could misunderstand him. Eddie, who once Doordashed him soup from his favorite restaurant when he was sick even though he was in Europe. Eddie, who sent letters to the kids in his class once a month to talk about how important music is and following your dreams. Eddie, who loved him for ten years and wouldn't have let anyone get in the way of what they'd built.
Steve fell against Eddie, buried his face in his neck and his hands in his shirt. Eddie's arms wrapped around him, his voice saying something against his shoulder. Steve couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t think he needed to.
He just needed to feel him.
“I’m sorry,” Steve said against his neck. Tears soaked the hoodie under him, and Steve could feel tears against his own button down. “I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone until the article hit, but I was still gonna call you and warn you but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. This is part of the whole lifestyle. I should be used to it,” Steve shuddered as Eddie’s hand scratched at his scalp. “I should’ve reacted better.”
“We both didn’t treat this the way we should’ve.”
Steve snorted, nodded as he found the spot Eddie had tattooed on his neck a couple years earlier. He pressed his lips over the tattoo of his lip print.
“You flew across the country over this,” Steve pulled away and looked at Eddie, vision blurred from crying. “Just to make things okay.”
“I needed you to know. I needed to hold you. I needed to have you in front of me. And I wanted to celebrate the fact that we’re getting a movie about our lives,” Eddie smirked. “I wonder who will play you. Someone with a nice ass is a must. Their hair will have to defy gravity. Don’t know if they’ll find anyone with that smile, though.”
“Me? Why would they need anyone to play me?” Steve played with the string of the hoodie. “That might be kinda boring.”
“How would they make a movie about me and not include you? You’re the reason I ever made it past Hawkins, sweet thing,” Eddie leaned in to kiss his bottom lip. “Maybe they’ll just cast you. No one else could pull it off.”
“Eds-“ Steve blushed. “Wait. Okay, I trust you, but what were you doing in the picture?”
Eddie laughed. “He had just finished telling me about his boyfriend who lives in Italy. He’s apparently just a regular guy in finance who has no interest in the whole fame thing. Sound familiar?”
“Sounds like you two have a lot in common.”
“The picture was me asking if we could crash at their home in Italy next summer on our honeymoon,” Eddie said casually.
Steve froze. “Honeymoon?”
“I’m open to other places, but you still haven’t been to Italy and I know how much you wanted to see Rome and Florence,” Eddie was smirking.
That bastard.
“You are ridiculous, you know that? I’m over here planning how I’ll survive a breakup with you and you fly across the country to propose with a honeymoon planned before I’ve even said yes! You know how crazy that sounds, right?” Steve shook his head. “You’re lucky I love you. You’re lucky I’m not interested in big romantic gestures.”
“Damn. Hold on, let me make a call,” Eddie reached into his pocket for his phone.
“What?”
“I gotta cancel the big romantic gesture,” Eddie explained as he typed furiously on his phone.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“It was a whole thing. Robin was involved. There may have been 500 flowers ordered. I think it’s too late to cancel the singing telegram though.”
“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being serious,” Steve wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of that was true.
“Oh, I’m serious. The ring was being set on the bed in the middle of a heart made of rose petals. I didn’t half-ass a fucking thing, angel.”
Steve pulled his phone out of his hands and set it on his desk. “Don’t cancel anything. I changed my mind. I am very much into big romantic gestures when it’s you doing them.”
“It was a team effort. I mean, I had to move it all up unexpectedly, but this was all gonna happen next month when I came home." Eddie pulled Steve into a long kiss, tongue tracing his lips. He pulled away to rest their foreheads together. "I'm not doing this just because of what happened, but I need you to know you're it for me. You've stuck by me through failing senior year, through being broke trying to book gigs all over the midwest, through the stress of our first album being released and the unexpected overnight fame, every album and tour since then, every time I've had to miss things that matter to you because of the band, all of it. You love me anyway. I don't always deserve it, but I'm grateful."
Steve's lips pressed against Eddie's again. "I love the life we have. I love you."
"I'm not asking you without the ring. I made so many plans. Robin will murder me in my sleep if I don't go through with them," Eddie laughed. "So can we get out of your classroom before I do something inappropriate and get you fired?"
"I mean," Steve glanced at the clock. "Technically all the students should be gone. We could lock the door..."
"Steven Harrington! How dare you suggest I fuck you over your desk in a school! I can't believe you would tell me to unbutton your jeans," he said as he unbuttoned his jeans. "And get on my knees." He got on his knees. "And suck you until you can't stand anymore."
"Eddie!" Steve chuckled, shoving his hand in Eddie's hair. "We should at least lock the door."
"So you're not saying no?"
"Why would I say no?"
"That's what I'm saying!" Eddie got back up and ran to the door, flipping the lock and turning back to Steve with flushed cheeks. "This is like, maybe three of my biggest fantasies in one, so I may actually come in my pants."
"You're ridiculous."
"Baby boy, my hand is my only friend on tour, you know that. How can I possibly hold myself back when I've got your dick in my mouth?" Eddie dropped to his knees again, looking up at Steve with something close to reverence.
"It's not in your mouth yet," Steve smirked as he tugged his waistband down enough to free his cock.
"Oh, I missed you," Eddie said directly to Steve's hard cock. "Steve, I want you to fuck my mouth until I pass out."
"I'm not doing that."
"Okay, well I'll settle for until I have to tap out."
"Fine. But it's not gonna be long for me," Steve shook his head. "Missed you, too."
"The sooner the better, sweetheart."
548 notes · View notes
ilys00ga · 15 days ago
Note
you are my favorite!!!! super happy to know you are taking requests :D also i hope you are doing well♡♡
could i request a yoongi x f!reader possibly where they have a rlly bad argument and make it up and it ends really fluffy? maybe the argument could be over jealusy or this stuff ofc not in a toxic way. Thank you in advance :)
BLOWING SMOKE.
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PAIR: yoongi x f reader
TAGS/WARNINGS: established relationship, producer!yoongi, yoongi fucks up real bad, hes lowk an ass in this one sorry xxx, he fixes things tho, misunderstandings with a great amount of miscommunication, reader thinks hes cheating, jealousy, angst, also fluff, a teenie tiny dusty bit of smut implications at the very end, but no smut I promise. that's it I guess?? lmk if I missed something. oh yeah this is probably full of unedited mistakes, just ignore :)
A/N: omg omg first off, THANK U I love u lots 💗 second, this matches the new fic I was already working on so akdjqjsjjs was in the mood for some good angst hehehe...although, I gotta say, this was pretty rushed cz I had a shit ton of things to do (I still do) but I tried to make it as good as I can, I hope u like it 🥹 also, ik u said 'not in a toxic way' but I think I might have gotten carried away? nothing too extreme I hope, but we all fuck up, and yoongi here is not doing any better.
PS. requests are still open! feel free to drop some in my ask box anytime :)
Loving Yoongi was like a field of cotton grass dancing with the wild wind on a fresh late spring day. But being in a relationship with him, much like any other relationship out there, wasn't always a bed of soft petals and a sky of warm sunshine.
“I'm sorry, darling. I have to stay here for another two hours. You can still come over if you want.” That was what he said over the phone, one day, when you asked whether he was free for a dinner date or not. It's been a hectic week for the both of you, two adults trapped in the hectic mess of what we call life. An unsettling bubble formed in your chest. You missed him, so, terribly much. The days went on, and it became harder for you to sit down with him for a genuine conversation or a wholesome meal. The mere thought that your relationship was heading towards one of those bland and colorless stages was heavy on your heart.
His suggestion sounded apologetic enough for you to swallow the pill entirely, so you immediately declared your agreement, grabbed your purse, then left the apartment.
On your twenty-minutes-long walk there, you made sure to grab a bottle or two of wine and some snacks, because, knowing Yoongi, he would let his body devore itself before he would feed himself a proper meal, once he's inside that studio.
Except that, all of your hopes of a hopelessly romantic night at his studio, and that uncomfortable couch he purchased specifically so he wouldn't doze off when he's supposed to work, vanished as soon as you pushed the door open and walked in.
Yoongi never said or did anything to hurt your trust, neither were you the type of lover to shed tears and break glass when they see their partner with another person. But seeing him sitting so close to the female producer you were already familiar with, their chairs almost touching as they fixed their attention on the large computers on top of his desk, that was a sight you weren't ready for. And it wouldn't have been so much of an issue to you if you weren't sitting in the same room with your boyfriend and the woman he used to hook up with on a regular basis before he got with you.
“It's good to finally see you, __.” She gave you a smile. A little, polite and genuine gesture that, in contrast to the smile you mirrored to her, made your stomach flip.
Another hour passed with you staring mindlessly at your phone screen and them doing their thing. You were on the verge of excusing yourself to leave, to maybe catch some fresh air instead of suffocating to death inside that closed space, when the girl finally stood up to leave.
You watched as she gave him a hug, her hand gently rubbing at his shoulder, before she faced you to bid her goodbye and left.
Throughout the entire thing, Yoongi didn’t spare you a glance. His back was the only thing you could see, along with the back of his head, covered with his favorite dark beanie. You thought her departure would soothe your heart and put your anxious mind to rest. That Yoongi would turn around and explain why the hell he was hanging out with her, and not with his usual team members. Except that neither of the above happened.
“I’m done here too, for the day. We can go now.” He said as he stood up from his own chair, stretching his arms and arching his body with a rough groan. You were left wondering whether you were the insane one there. Or maybe he was that blind to the chaos happening in your head at that very moment.
The words were on the tip of your tongue. You could no longer hold them back. They were too strong to be kept hidden deep inside your throat. And so, you cleared your throat and let them speak for themselves. “You never told me you still work with her.”
You paused, taking a deep breath as you anticipated an answer from him, which came rather more lightheartedly than you fancied.
“Oh, I didn't think it was worth talking about.” He said, hovering over the desk to turn the devices off.
“Really?” You tucked the tip of your finger under another one, his usual nonchalance was supposed to sooth you, reassure your heart that he only belonged to you, but it only served to stir something inside your anxious self. “But it's still something, Yoongi..”
“Darling, you were never bothered with who I work with.” He remarked.
“Because you never had history with your usual team members.” Your blunt argument, with all the bitterness it held, took the both of you off guard.
“Is this about what I think it is?” He glanced up at you again, finally catching up on the situation at hand. “Look at me. Are you upset because she was here?”
“Yes I am.. You never mentioned the fact that you still see her everyday. Were you planning on keeping that from me?”
He let out a heavy sigh. “I told you it was never a big deal, baby. That's why I didn't bring it up.”
“Yoongi, it doesn't matter what you think of it. I deserve to know this type of thing.”
He scoffed at that, his attention turning to his stuff as he started gathering them. “Baby, please. I was working. We had a project to do. It's not like I slept with her or something.”
“Did you?”
At the heavy implication of your short question, Yoongi froze in his place, unmoving. His eyes spoke of surprise and pain as he stared deeply into yours, sending a chill down your spine. You blinked, and the sound of crashing almost made you jump when he threw the headphones he was holding carelessly on the desk.
“You think I did?” He asked. Even as his voice was completely empty of amusement, he didn't raise his voice at you. “You think I slept with her?”
“I don't know.” You shrugged. “That's what I'm trying to know.”
Neither of you spoke after that. He continued staring at you, not providing an answer that could satisfy your clenching heart. Instead, and just like every single time the two of you had an argument before that, he faced his desk again and busied himself with his belongings, his movements harsher and rougher than before.
“It's better if you leave now.” He said, his voice disturbingly cold.
You wished he could say anything. Maybe snap at you for being so harsh with your judgment on him, or lay his heart out and tell you the thing you dreaded the most, that he indeed slept with her. But he didn’t. He just faced the other way and did utter a word. And so, you grabbed your purse, phone in your other hand, and walked out of the studio.
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Deep in the darkness of your room, you lay on your bed, deep in thought, staring at the ceiling like it could crack open and show you the secret towards a blissfully happy love story to remedy your soul. Your string of thoughts was cut short when noise broke out in your apartment. The sound of the front door being locked and closed again.
You craned your neck to catch a glimpse of the digital clock on top of your nightstand. It was three am.
Having had this scenario happen multiple times throughout the years of your relationship with him, you left your tear stained pillow and followed the source of the noise, your boyfriend in the kitchen.
You found him bent down in front of the open fridge, his back, once again, facing you. If he didn't hear your footsteps against the floor, he definitely heard the soft sniffle you let out as you leaned against the doorframe, you were certain.
“It's three in the morning.” You stated, like it was the most important news you could give him at that very moment. He didn't spare you a glance, settling for a can of beer and pushing the door of the fridge closed with his leg. “You shouldn’t drink at this hour.”
“Good to know you care about me.” He said, his voice calm but dripping with the usual bitter sarcasm he often exercised when he was tense or angry.
You couldn't help rolling your eyes at that. He was really upset. “Can we just talk?”
He flicked the can open with one hand, taking a long gulp of the liquor that left you with a small frown. “Why? So you get to accuse me of cheating again?”
“Yoongi, please-”
“No, __.” He paused, his gaze felt like a freezing flame to your soul. “You feel the way you feel, yeah I get it. But doubting my loyalty like that? Thinking that I could really go out of my way to cheat like it's nothing? What the fuck are you doing?”
His words, coupled with the way he looked at you, felt like a punch to your guts in that very moment. He was right, you knew that. No matter how insecure and threatened you felt back then, no matter how fucked up the thing he did was, cheating shouldn't have been your first conclusion. Especially when you loved and cherished him so deeply. With a trembling voice, you gathered your words and tried to ignore your stinging eyes as they threatened to spill your hidden emotions out. “I... Our relationship has been so dull lately, I was hoping we could spend some time together and catch up, but then I saw her there and I just..”
“Just what, __?” He cuts your speech. “Do you even trust me?”
“I do, of course I do! But you didn’t even talk to me about it, and when I tried to talk, you were all like ‘Oh, it doesn't matter, you're just being dramatic.’”
“That is not what I said.” He hissed.
“Doesn’t matter!-” A sob interrupted your speech, you ran a hand through your hair in frustration. “Can we just- please-”
Your words were cut short when he started walking towards you. You felt his arms engulfing you in a tight embrace, your face finding its place buried into the crook of his neck, where your warm tears touched his soft, milky skin.
“Shh.. I know.” He whispered into your ear, the strong smell of alcohol, carrying a hint of coffee within, filled your senses. Your arms moved on their own, automatically hugged him back. “You know I would never break your trust, right?”
You nodded your head. Something about the softness of his voice, heavy with vulnerability, made your heart crush into pieces. The way he held you, despite the hurt you knew he felt because of you, had a toll on you.
You pulled away, enough to bring your hands up and cup his face. Your teary eyes staring into his weary ones as you spoke. “That was so stupid of me. I'm sorry.”
“I'm the stupid one here, baby..” He turned his face to nuzzle your palm and press a kiss onto its skin. “I should've thought into it. I was so immersed in work, I didn't see how fucked up the entire situation was. Should've paid more attention.”
He leaned in, pressing a kiss on your forehead and letting his lips linger on your skin there for a few more seconds. “I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry I made you think that lowly of me.”
The gentleness of his gesture and his words made your tears flow with a mind of their own. There was never a time he made a huge mistake and didn't make you feel like the sky might fall apart at the sight of your tears. It only made the guilt heavier on your heart.
He tightened his hold around you, pulling your body flush against his as he let you cry your hearts content out on his skin. You could feel his hand on the back of your head, a silent encouragement for you to nuzzle his neck again. You obliged.
“I can't believe you made me cry at three a.m like this.” You whined, after a long moment of hushed words of love and quiet sobs, and sniffled.
“I'm sorry, darling..” He cooed at you, wiping the tears off of your cheeks with his gentle fingers. The soft expression he had quickly faded into a slight smirk that appeared on his handsome face. “It wouldn't be the first time I do that, though.”
“Hey!” Your hand landed on his shoulder in a light swat. “We're having a moment here! And I still haven't forgiven you, you know!”
He let out a light chuckle, his smirk deepening when he tilted his head and noticed the faint blush on your face. “Worry not, I'll make it up to you. I'm gonna make you cry in a different way, darling.”
“Go away!” You whined again and shoved him away. His suggestive words made your face feel a lot warmer than necessary, but you tried to sound as stern and unaffected as you possibly could, under his gaze. “I'm going to bed. You better not follow me there, you're sleeping on the couch.”
“Oh, no need for the bed, baby.” He ignored your empty threat and rejection, making a quick job of scooping you up in his arms and heading towards the living room. “We have a foldable couch for a reason.”
“It's an expensive couch, you ass!”
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tiredandoptimistic · 2 months ago
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Stan and the cycle of abuse
Like a week ago I saw this good post about Stan and the twins, how with Mabel he's silly because that's what he never got but with Dipper he's stern because that's what he needed. I think the last line was about how punching was all Stan every felt he was good at. Anyways, it wormed it's way into my brain and I typed out a whole response, but it got eaten by tumblr and I lost the original so now I'm just making my own post.
What's so interesting to me about Stan's philosophy towards raising kids is that he's trying to pass on the lessons that saved his life. We don't get too many details about what his life in the time between being kicked out and the portal incident, but it's more than enough to make it clear that he's wound up in just about every shitty situation a person can find. Like he tells Ford, he's been to prison in three different countries and once had to chew his way out of the trunk of a car. He's homeless and living out of his car and motel rooms. He doesn't even have enough money to pay for a loaf of bread. He's got a bat ready to protect himself from "goons" coming to collect on some sort of debt. Being a tough guy and quick liar who'll kick anybody's ass is what's let him survive to age thirty. When Stan gets thrown to the curb, he yells "I don't need you, I don't need anyone!" and he's more or less right. Sure, he's gone through some awful stuff; but as soon as he got a stable house to live in he builds up his own business that thrives for thirty years. The lessons in boxing and cheating and "being a man" paid off in a big way, so that's what he wants to pass along to Dipper. That way, when the world picks a fight, he'll be able to fight back.
Here's the thing though: Stan shouldn't have had to do any of that.
Yes, Filbrick's "tough love" parenting is what prepared Stan for life on the streets, but it's also what tossed him out on the streets to begin with. If Filbrick was really a good dad, he wouldn't have left his seventeen-year-old son to fend for himself. Stan doesn't seem willing to acknowledge this, probably due in part to the extreme guilt and self-loathing he feels leading him to believe that he deserved the treatment he got. Filbrick was straight-up abusive in a lot of what we've seen of him, but Stan sees that as just how boys are raised, so it's what he passes on to Dipper.
It's just something about how Stan is desperate to prepare Dipper for the horrors while also fiercely protecting him. He wants to toughen Dipper up, but Dipper doesn't need to be tough and independant like Stan because he's got the support system Stan never had. If he ever got kicked out by his parents, Dipper would have Stan, Ford, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, and the entire freaking town of Gravity Falls lining up to give him someplace to stay and a warm meal. Sure, Dipper had to fight literal actual monsters at a very young age, but he was never alone for it. When Dipper falls, there's someone to catch him.
I simply love how Stan's attempts to be a good guardian lead to him being kinda shitty in an attempt to protect Dipper from things that he'll never have to face precisely BECAUSE Stan is such a good guardian. I hope that at some point he realizes that the way his dad treated him was fucked up, and that Dipper deserves some of the straighforward caring that he seems to have an easier time expressing towards Mabel.
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loulovingho · 3 months ago
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can you do a part two of the eddie thinks tommy's cheating but he's buying a ring fic? this time tommy is actually proposing to evan but it doesn't go the way he planned with eddie, or something? maybe he confused evan by saying this isn't how it went when he proposed to eddie? idk just thinking!
part one can be found here
“Evan... Evan...” Tommy was staring out the window by the kitchen sink. He had just finished washing a couple dishes and pulled the ring box out of his pocket, now practicing the way he'd begin his proposal. “Evan... Evan?”
“What?”
Tommy jumped, whipping around.
“Evan!” he exclaimed, wide eyed. “You're home.” He'd been so into trying out his proposal he hadn't heard the door.
Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah. Isn't that why you were saying my name?”
“Oh, um, yeah, I- I just thought you wouldn't be back from Maddie's until later.” He had his hands behind his back, trying to stuff the box into his back pocket. It was not subtle.
“Jee started running a little fever so I headed home early. Tommy, what are you doing?”
Tommy stilled. The box was in his pocket, but just barely. “Fixing my pants,” he answered weakly. “They were falling.”
“Well it's not like I'd mind if they did,” Buck replied, throwing Tommy a cheeky (cheesy) wink. “In fact, it's been a little too long since they have.” He started toward Tommy, which only made Tommy's heart pick up speed. He knew that look. That was Evan's “I wanna grab your ass” look and the one thing he could not do right now is grab Tommy's ass.
Before Buck could reach him, Tommy plastered himself against the countertop and began a sideways scoot to get around him. “I've, um, I have to pee,” he said, motioning toward the bathroom. Never turning away from Buck, he shuffled to the half bath near the entryway and shut himself inside.
It was suspicious. He knew it. There was no simple way of talking himself out of this one. Tommy never denied Evan an ass-grab. It was one of his favorite things, actually.
Sure enough, Evan was at the door in seconds.
“Tommy, are you okay?” Buck asked through the bathroom door. “You're acting weird.”
“I'm fine. Just need to pee.”
“Are you sure? Did something happen? I- Is there... Is there something stuck, you know, up there?”
“Oh my God! No!”
“Because if there is, it- it's nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens a lot. Like a lot. You know that.”
Tommy flung the door back open, giving Buck an exasperated stare. “There is nothing stuck up my butt, Evan. Thank you for your concern.”
“Then why are you acting so strange?” Buck asked. “You know I won't give up until I find out the truth. That's how my brain works, Tommy, I will look over every inch of your body until I find the problem. And if the problem isn't on the outside, I will make you get every scan done to find out what's wrong on the inside, so you better-”
“Okay!” Tommy took a step out of the bathroom and brought his hands to Buck's jaw, rubbing his thumb over his cheeks. “Okay,” he repeated before leaning in for a kiss. Buck sighed into it, relaxing a bit. Even when Tommy pulled away, he kept his eyes closed for a couple extra seconds, like he was waiting for more. “Will you wait for me in the living room?” Tommy asked. “I'll be out in a second.”
Buck tilted his head. “Will you tell me what's wrong then?”
“Nothing's wrong,” Tommy reassured him, “but yes, I will.”
“Okay.” Buck gave him another peck. “But if you're not out in two minutes I'm calling for an ambulance.”
*****
Tommy gave himself a minute in the bathroom to take deep, cleansing breaths. After that he stood straight, looked himself in the mirror, rolled his shoulders, and gave himself a nod. He didn't have much more time. He knew if he wasn't out soon that Evan would actually called 911 and that would be a new level of embarrassing.
He opened the door and peeked his head out, making sure Evan wasn't right there.
Once he was certain Evan was in the living room, he called out, “Just close your eyes for a minute, okay?”
There was a pause, then, “Tommy, honestly, what is going on? Did... Did you buy that doctor costume we talked about? Cause, um, if so, I- I'd like my eyes to be open.”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “No, Evan. Just close them? Please?”
“Fine. Okay, they're closed.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Tommy walked quietly out to the living room, getting into position and taking one final deep breath before beginning. “Okay, you can open your eyes.”
When Buck opened his eyes, it took him a second to register that Tommy was kneeling in front of him, on one knee, with a little box in his hand. “What- Oh my God!”
“Evan, growing up I never-”
“Yes!”
Tommy's mouth hung open as he was stopped mid sentence. “Wh- I'm sorry, what?”
Evan was nodding rapidly. He scooted off the couch until he was kneeling in front of Tommy, on both of his knees, reaching out for any piece of him he could hold onto. “Yes. I'm saying yes!”
“I- I didn't even do my speech.” Even through his shock, tears came to Tommy's eyes. Because Evan had said yes! He said yes!!
“I don't need it. If you're asking, I'm saying yes.”
“I'm asking,” Tommy assured him. “I'm definitely asking.”
“Then you've got an answer.”
Tommy shook his head as he went to pull the ring from the box. “This went way different with Eddie,” he muttered out between sniffs.
“What are you talking about?” Buck asked with a laugh, wiping a tear off his face. “Did you propose to Eddie?”
“He had me fake propose to him, give him the whole speech so I knew it'd be perfect for you.”
“Well,” Buck grabbed Tommy face, bringing him in for a wet kiss, “it... was... perfect,” he said between kisses.
“You don't even know what it was!” Tommy exclaimed, laughing now too, even as he continued to cry.
Buck leaned back and cleared his throat, trying to contain his excitement. “Okay, so, um, what was it then?”
Tommy opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, laughing harder now. “I don't remember! Something about your smile, and thinking about you when I wake up and go to sleep. But it was really good, I promise! You'll have to ask Eddie about it.”
“I will,” Buck promised. He couldn't get rid of the smile on his face. “But for now will you put the damn ring on my finger?”
“Oh my God, yes!” Tommy dropped the box to the side and held out the ring. “It's got morse code on the inside,” he said, tilting it so Evan could see.
Buck blinked a few times to clear his eyes. “I-L-Y.” A new wave of tears began to spill. “Tommy, th- this is the sweetest thing ever. I love you so much.”
He lifted his shaking hand and Tommy held onto it carefully as he slipped the ring on. “I love you, Evan.”
They pulled each other close again, sitting up on their knees as they wrapped their arms around one another and kissed. It went from sweet to hot pretty quickly, both of them moaning into it until Tommy was pulling back with his hands gripped on Evan's waist. “I love you so much, Evan, but I gotta be honest,” a flash of worry came over Buck until Tommy continued, “I cannot kneel like this anymore. My knees are killing me.”
Buck laughed loudly, his head tossing back and face scrunching up. “Let's go to the bedroom,” he suggested, his own knees popping as he stood.
Tommy nodded, letting Buck help to pull him up. “To the bedroom.”
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megxplryxb · 2 months ago
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For you, I would ruin myself
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Pairings: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, mentions of Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Allusions to cheating but not really, Mutual pining, Idiots in love, Love confessions, Angst, Heartbreak
Author's notes: Hi lovely people, I'm really sorry I haven't been around lately. Well, who am I kidding, I've been pretty MIA since March. The writers block was kicking my ass and the motivation just wasn't there but I've had so many ideas lately and this one was unfinished in my drafts for way too long so finally got around to completing it over the past few days. I'm not in love with the ending, but I do like that it's not the usual happy ending I always do. Please be kind, I'm a little rusty. x
Another Friday evening, another failed date, Steve thought to himself as he climbed into his BMW with a deflated sigh, leaning back against the headrest. He’d been on three dates in the past month and it was starting to feel a little mundane and pointless. Three different candidates, three different bouquets of flowers, three different venues but none of them had developed into anything further. He was completely used to the routine by now, picking them up from their house, paying for the meal or for the movie, making some awkward conversation before sharing a kiss that made him feel absolutely nothing inside. He’d tell the girl he was sorry, that he didn't see it going anywhere between them before offering her a ride home or pay for a cab and head back to his house alone.
It's not that the girls weren't pretty, or that their personalities were dull or that they’d done anything wrong necessarily. The issue was Steve and his lack of real interest in getting to know any of them romantically, 'cause there was someone else consuming his thoughts and he couldn't get her out of his fucking mind. He pressed his forehead to the steering wheel, cursing at himself for being so off of his game, for being so distracted by someone he knew he couldn't have. Steve used to be a pro at dating, he could get any girl he wanted, whenever he wanted just by clicking his damn fingers. But he wasn't that guy anymore and this time he couldn't get the girl either. The girl he really fucking wanted. Frustrated, he pulled out of the parking lot, turning up the radio before leaving Enzo's and another unsuccessful date in the rear view mirror.
He picked up a case of beer from the liquor store and contemplated going home to drown his sorrows alone. He thought about going to Robin's too but knew she'd chew him out for screwing up yet another date that she had to convince him to go on in the first place. He wasn't even sure his best friend would want to see him after their stupid argument in Family Video earlier, so he decided against the idea and kept on driving.
"Steve, you have to move on from this fixation you have with her. You and her are never gonna happen, it can't happen, you know that right?"
"Yeah I know Robin, alright? Jesus Christ, can you please stop talking about it?”
"Look, I'm sorry ok? I know I'm being a total pain in the ass but I'm just worried about you. I know how you get when you fall for someone and I don't want to see you get hurt or mess up a really good friendship because of–"
"I get it Robin, fuck, I'm trying to get over it, over her, I really am. I've distanced myself as much as I can without making it totally obvious that something’s up. What else do you want me to do, huh?"
"I don't know, Steve! I'm just trying to help. I'm trying to be your friend and make you see that this doesn't have a happy ending for you.”
“You don’t think I know how this ends for me? How it always ends? I’m well aware of how this goes Robin, so please just…don’t, ok?”
Steve felt horrible for fighting with Robin. He felt like shit for taking his frustrations out on her but she just wouldn't stop talking about the situation and the consequences he would face if he ever acted on his feelings. He already felt bad enough about it, he didn’t need her reminding him every five god damn minutes that he couldn’t have the thing he wanted the most. Of course, he'd apologise to her tomorrow with ice cream and chocolate along with the promise of being her personal chauffeur for the next month straight because deep down he knew she was right.
After a while of driving around, Steve found himself at the entrance of Forrest Hills trailer park. His fingers dancing on the steering wheel as he bit his lip, thinking about whether or not he should just keep going. Eddie had been on his ass lately about never seeing him, wondering if he'd done or said something to piss Steve off, trying to arrange a boys night so they could catch up but Steve kept putting him off until the metal head eventually quit asking. Christ, Munson wouldn’t want to hang out with him ever again if he knew the reason why Steve was avoiding him in the first place. But Robin was right, he had to get over it and cutting himself off from everyone wasn’t going to help anything.
"Fuck it." Steve muttered, as he drove through the gates and made his way into the trailer park, hoping he wouldn’t regret his decision later on, praying it wasn’t a total mistake coming here.
The gravel crunched under his tyres as the car came to a halt outside of Eddie's trailer just as the sun had finally set on the little town of Hawkins, Indiana. Switching off his ignition, he grabbed the case of beer before stepping out of the car, walking around to the back of the trailer but quickly noticing that neither Waynes car or Eddie’s van were anywhere to be found. He could however, see a flicker of light escaping through the curtains and hear the chorus of Shout by Tears for Fears coming from inside, causing his heart to beat a little faster, skin feeling a little hotter, cause he knew who was inside and he needed to get out of there immediately.
"Shit." Steve whispered, hurrying back to his car, placing the box of beer onto the passenger seat hoping his presence hadn't been noticed by the one person he had been trying so desperately hard to stay away from all this time. But the creak of the trailer door opening behind him told him he was already too late as he turned around to see you standing there, arms folded, head tilted, smiling at him.
"Hey stranger, long time no see."
Steve swallowed hard, instantly feeling more butterflies in his stomach just from seeing you for the first time in weeks than he had from any of his dates in the past month. He didn’t know how it was possible but he was certain you’d gotten even prettier in his absence. Your usual flowy hair clipped back into a messy bun, sun kissed legs on show in your tiny denim shorts, finished off by an oversized Metallica T-shirt that most definitely belonged to your boyfriend...To Eddie, one of Steve's best friend’s. The one and only reason he could never tell you how he really felt.
“Yeah, I guess it’s been a while, huh?” He chuckled nervously as you made your way down the steps, towards his car.
“A while? It’s been forever. I think I was even starting to miss you.” You tease, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him into the warmest of hugs. His whole body tenses with the feeling of you so close to him and he swore his heart stopped for a moment as he took in your scent. You were ice cream on hot summer days, cocoa on cold winter nights and everything he knew he could ever want or need.
It wasn’t unlike you to hug him, you’d always been affectionate and touchy but it felt different this time, like you needed it as much as he did. So he finally relaxed his body, allowing his arms to find their way around your waist, chin resting on your head, keeping you close for what felt like several minutes.
“Yeah, I missed you too.” So much, he thinks to himself as you eventually break apart.
“So, beer huh? I take it you were looking for Eddie?” You ask, noticing the box in Steve’s BMW.
“Uh, yeah…he’s been asking me to come hang out for a couple of weeks but I’ve just been super busy with work and stuff. Finally had some free time, so I thought I’d take him up on the offer before he completely disowned me.” Steve jokes as you let out a small laugh.
“Poor guys been like a lost puppy without you. Honestly, its getting embarrassing. I’m clearly not enough for him.” You sigh sarcastically as Steve shakes his head.
“I highly doubt that honey.” He replies truthfully, voice in the back of his mind screaming that you’d be enough for him. That you’ve always been enough for him.
You look away from him, placing a loose strand of hair behind your ear, hoping he hasn't caught the slight tint of pink creeping onto your cheeks with his tiny compliment.
“Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you but he’s playing with the band at the Hideout tonight.” You shrug, tugging on your bottom lip.
“That’s cool, I totally should have checked first anyway. I’ll catch him another time.” Steve replies, playing with his car keys.
“Y’know, Eddie’s not the only one who likes beer or do you just not want to hang out with me?” You smile, raising a brow and god he knows he’s in trouble. He knows he should shake his head, make up some excuse and run for the hills but he can’t. Not when you’re looking at him like that, like you want him to stay and fuck he really wants to.
“Of course I want to hang out with you, I just don’t want to be imposing.” He explains as you scoff.
“Imposing? Please, I could really do with a break, I’ve been cleaning this place all day for Wayne before he gets back into town tomorrow. Eddie’s a total pig, I swear he’s lucky he’s cute.” You laugh but Steve doesn’t really laugh with you. He hates that you think Eddie is cute, hates the way you say his name. Hates that he has no right to feel so jealous but he can’t help it. Because it was Steve’s own fucking fault for not telling you how he felt months ago, when he had a real chance to make you his before Eddie went and beat him to it.
“So, are you coming in or?” You ask, eyes wide as you start walking back towards the trailer.
This was Steve’s chance to run, to get into his car and go home like he’d originally planned to do. Why hadn’t he just done that in the first place? Why did he think coming to Eddie’s was such a good idea and how the fuck had he ended up alone with you? Robin would fucking kill him if she could see him now. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to be here. You should have been working in the Hideout like you did every Friday night since you left Family Video and him behind all those months ago.
“Steve?” You call again when you don’t hear his footsteps following you.
“Huh? Oh, yeah sorry, I’ll just grab the beers.” He finally answers, smiling at you as you nod happily, heading back inside.
Steve curses at himself, knowing he couldn’t leave now, it’d be too obvious. You were his friend just as much as Eddie, the only problem was, he didn’t want Eddie like he wanted you.
When he finally joined you inside, you were rummaging through a drawer to find a bottle opener that Wayne kept in there for safe keeping. Steve tries to look anywhere but at you as his body stood stiff in the doorway while you made your way towards the couch, plonking your tired body down. He could tell you’d been cleaning all day, the trailer unrecognisable from the usual mess Eddie had it in. Fresh hoover lines apparent on the spotless carpet, laundry washed and folded, pillows puffed, trash emptied and the countertops cleared and wiped down. There was even a scent of lavender in the air, compared to the usual smell of motor oil and cigarettes.
“You can sit down you know?” You smirk as Steve smiles, shaking his head.
"Sorry, I was just momentarily distracted by the fact that I could actually see the floor in here for once.” He jokes, placing the alcohol on the side table as you giggle, feeling him slump down beside you, letting out a heavy breath.
“Hi.” Steve smiles, turning his head towards you, resting his eyes on your porcelain face. It’s unfair how good you look right now, so effortlessly beautiful with your hair up and no make up on. Christ, you could be on the cover of any magazine, he thinks to himself.
“Hi.” You smile back, nudging your knee with his playfully and Steve’s thankful you can’t hear how fast his heart is beating just from the slightest bit of contact.
“Beer?” He offers, ripping open the box to grab two bottles.
“Thought you’d never ask, Harrington.” You tease, taking one from his hand, passing him the bottle opener.
“Cheers.” He grins nervously, clinking his drink with yours before he takes a large swig.
Forty minutes pass and you're both already on your second drink, catching up and talking as if no time at all had gone by. It had always been that way between you both, effortless and easy and Steve knew it was dangerous territory. He so quickly forgot all of the reasons why he shouldn't be here with you right now when your leg was brushing against his own, your head thrown back in a fit of laughter as he recalled an embarrassing story about Keith from the previous week and Christ, he had missed your infectious laugh.
He had missed everything about you.
He couldn't remember the last time you two had been alone together, it had to have been a couple of months at least and it felt nice that he had you all to himself for a little while without any distractions. Some of his favourite times had been your shifts together at Family Video, making each other laugh non stop, discussing the latest gossip of the town while stacking the shelves, taste testing the new candy when Keith left early like he always did and making up little games to play on nights where the hours just seemed to drag. You brightened up the store every time you walked in, made work fun and bearable and he looked forward to any shift that he got to spend with you.
That was until you went and left of course.
Steve had been utterly devastated the day Robin told him you'd given your two weeks to Keith, confused as to why you hadn't told him yourself and a little hurt that he was the last to know. He remembers Eddie coming to pick you up on your last day, a shit eating grin on his face now that you were going to work at the Hideout, meaning he'd get to see his new girlfriend way more while Steve got to see you much less. He had to clench his fists as he watched you walk out the door with Eddie, forcing a smile as you looked over your shoulder, giving him one last look before waving goodbye with tears in your eyes. He wanted so badly for you to change your mind, wanted to beg you to reconsider but Robin reminded him that it was for the best, hoping it would give Steve the time he needed to get over you.
“Y’know I was really starting to worry about you, was even thinking about setting up a search party.” You giggle, taking Steve away from him thoughts as he rolls his eyes playfully.
“I’m flattered you were so concerned about me.”
“I’m serious! I kept asking Dustin about you but he said he hadn’t seen you much either.”
“Well if you hadn’t left Family Video to go work with your boyfriend, you’d still see me everyday.” Steve responds in a tone that’s half teasing/half bitter and he winces seeing how taken aback you are by his comment
“Eddie’s not the reason I left, Steve.” You reply, pressing the bottle to your lips. If only he knew the real reason.
“Oh come on, why else would you leave? I can’t imagine it was for the scenic views or massive wage increase.” He scoffs sarcastically as you avoid his gaze.
“It was just time for me to move on.” You shrug, tugging on your bottom lip, wishing he would drop this topic.
“What do you mean? I thought you liked working at the Video store?” He quizzes, confused by your answer.
“I did, I loved it there but I just needed a change.”
“But that doesn’t make any—”
“Steve, can we please drop it?” You beg, your lips turning downward in a frown as you fidget with the hem of your boyfriends t-shirt.
“Yeah—yeah sure, sorry. I didn’t mean to be an asshole about it, it’s just that…I miss you. I mean, we miss you, Robin and I.” He swallows hard as you smile at him, your cheeks turning hot at his words.
“I miss you too, Steve. Both of you.” You reveal before a silence falls over the room for a moment.
"Are you hungry? You wanna order a pizza or I’m pretty sure there’s potato chips in the cupboard if you want some? You ask, finally easing the tension between you.
"I'm good. I had dinner in Enzo's a while ago.” Steve mumbles.
"Ah, I thought you were a little too dressed up just to come here and get drunk with Eddie. Were you on a date or something?" You question, raising your brows suspiciously at him, trying to ignore the knot forming in your stomach.
"Third one this month." He sighs, taking another sip of beer, completely missing the subtle hint of jealousy that flashes across your face momentarily.
"Wow, three dates huh? You must really like her." You force a smile, taking a drink from your own bottle as he huffs and shakes his head.
"Oh, it wasn't with the same girl. I meant three different dates, all equally terrible though." Steve confesses, a heavy sigh escaping his lips and you hate the relief you feel when you hear him say it.
"You really have been busy, no wonder we haven’t seen you lately." You say sarcastically as Steve remains silent, trying to hold himself back from saying everything he wanted to. He wants to tell you the reason you haven’t seen him is because he’s terrified of his feelings for you. That the reason he's going on so many dates is so he can try and move on from you. He wants to tell you that he’s terrified of ruining his friendships because he can’t stop thinking about you, that he can't stand seeing you with Eddie, because every time he sees his friend kiss you, he wants to punch his lights out, ‘cause you're supposed to be his girl. But he's too fucking late. He missed his chance with you and it's something he's going to have to live with for the rest of his life.
“So, what was so terrible about them?" You ask, turning to face him as he sits back trying to think of how best to answer that question. The only real answer he has to give is that they weren't you and nothing after that really mattered. He plays with the paper wrapped around his bottle, tearing it off bit by bit as you burn a hole through his head, waiting for a response. He's too afraid to look at you, terrified that if he does, it'll give him away and you'll figure it out for yourself, that he's completely and utterly head over heels in love with you.
"I uh, I guess none of them were really for me." He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the carpet below as you gaze at your friend sympathetically, knowing that feeling all too well.
"I'm sure you'll know the one when she comes along, Steve." You reassure, placing your hand on his knee as he lets out a dry laugh.
"I did." He mutters, taking the last sip from the bottle as you stare at him.
"What do you mean you did?" You question, tilting your head as his eyes widen in panic. Shit. He didn't mean for you to hear that, didn't mean to say it out loud. Had the two beers already gone to his fucking head?
"I– I just meant..." He pauses for a moment to look at you, really look at you as he thinks about what to say next. How does he get himself out of this? Should he just tell you the truth? Was now the right time to say it? Was being here alone with you a sign that he should just come out and tell you how he feels? Was it worth taking that risk?
"You're talking about Nancy, right?" You frown, releasing a heavy sigh as he contemplates how to respond. His stomach is sick that you think he still cares for Nancy in that way, he hasn't given her a second thought since you came along and took his breath away but maybe it was better for you to think that instead of him ruining his friendship with you, instead of ruining his friendship with Eddie. Because after all, he'd rather have you in his life as a friend than not have you in it at all. That would truly kill him.
"Yeah, I...I'm talking about Nancy." He lies and your heart sinks all over again.
Of course he's talking about Nancy. Robin had told you all about the girl Steve had been in love with for years during your first shift alone with her at Family Video. How she was the only girl he'd ever loved, how he'd changed his ways for her in High School and how he still wanted a whole brood of mini Harrington's with her even though she’d broken his heart. When you eventually did meet Nancy though, you fully understood what he saw in her. She was beautiful, smart and perfect, everything a guy like Steve Harrington could ever want.
Everything you felt you weren’t.
“Steve, if it’s Nancy you really want, maybe it’s time to just be honest with her?” You suggest, trying to stop yourself from falling to pieces in front of him.
Steve finally lifts his head to lock eyes with yours, your words starting to replay in his mind “maybe it’s time to just be honest with her.”
“How can I tell her how I feel when she’s with somebody else?” He asks, his stomach in knots, his insides twisting as he watches you chew on your bottom lip.
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the same way about you, maybe she’s just really good at hiding it.” You shrug defeated, as he tries to read your face for an answer to a question that’s kept him up late at night. Could it be possible that you have feelings for him too? That you’ve been just as good at hiding them as he has? Maybe even better?
“You…you think she could feel the same way about me?” He asks, finally sitting up, turning towards you fully.
“I guess there’s really only one way to find out.” You reply, forcing a smile, hoping you don’t look too devastated as you stand up to collect the empty bottles from the coffee table. Needing to remove yourself from this conversation fast.
Just as you reach out to grab the first one, you feel Steve’s warm hand softly wrap around yours, holding you in place as he stares at you petrified.
“Steve, what—”
“It’s not Nancy.” He interrupts, a total look of despair on his face as he takes a deep breath. You’re eyeing him in utter confusion as you take a seat beside him again.
“What do you mean it’s not Nancy? I don’t under—”
“I’m in love with you.” He finally confesses, the words falling from his mouth too fast for him to catch, to hold back and bury deep beneath the surface again and for the first time in months he feels like he can finally breathe again. Unfortunately for Steve, the relief only lasts a couple of seconds as panic sets in and he realises that he's just confessed to loving his best friend's girlfriend.
He’s too afraid to look at your face, terrified of what your reaction will be, so instead, he keeps his eyes glued to the floor, ashamed of himself for putting you in this predicament. He's completely fucked everything up.
“I'm sorry, please don't hate me. The last thing I intended to do tonight was tell you that I love you. Fuck, I didn't even think you'd be here, you weren't supposed to be here! I've just been trying to stay away from you hoping that these stupid feelings would just go away you know? But it's been so hard and I missed you and then I show up here looking for Eddie but then I see you after so long and I just couldn't keep it in any longer, it's been killing me for months." Steve rambles, placing his hands over his face as you sit frozen in silence.
"I think it's probably for the best if I go." He says, standing up to leave you alone, grabbing his keys from the countertop.
"So you just drop a bomb on me like that and think you just get to walk away?" You say, finally finding your voice, rising to your feet.
"I just thought maybe you'd want some space or maybe you'd never want to see me again." Steve shrugs. noticing the utter shock on your face.
"We live in Hawkins Steve, we have the same friends. I don't think never seeing each other again is a realistic option." You state, trying to take everything in. Steve lets out a sigh of relief, happy you haven't immediately jumped to cutting him out of your life yet.
"You said it's been killing you for months, how long is that exactly?" You question, suddenly finding it very hard to breathe. It's an easy answer for Steve as he knows the very moment he fell in love with you.
“Do you remember the day that really nice old man came into the store looking for a copy of Casablanca?" He asks as you nod your head, recalling it instantly. It's something you'd never forget.
The man had come in on an unusually rainy day in the hopes of renting the movie he and his wife had watched together every year on the day of their wedding anniversary. He told you both of his wife's recent passing after a lengthy battle with an illness and how he had decided to bury their copy of the movie with her, so she could still watch it with him wherever she was.
"You took him for coffee on your lunch break that day knowing he was all alone while I looked for the movie in the back. You let him cry and talk about his wife even though you didn't know her. You gave him the time of day that no one else would have and when I found the movie, you told him to keep it and you took a twenty from your own purse to cover the cost. You told him you hoped one day you'd know a love like theirs and I remember thinking... fuck I'm so in love with that girl." Steve smiles, eyes glassy as you too have to wipe away the tears that had fallen down your cheeks.
"He still comes in you know? Asks about you all the time, wonders if I ever made a move. Called me a dumbass when I told him I missed my chance." He jokes, trying to make you smile but somehow the whole thing makes you angry.
"If you felt that way about me then, why didn't you tell me? That was months before I was even with Eddie, Steve!" You challenge, folding your arms as Steve runs a hand through his hair.
"I don't know, the timing just never seemed to be right."
"Oh please, we only worked together almost every day for over a year, we hung out almost every single night." You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
"Well yeah but we were never really alone together. There was always someone else around, Keith, Robin, the kids, Eddie..."
"Come on Steve, those are bullshit excuses and you know it!" You argue as he shakes his head.
"It's not like it matters anyway, I mean, it's not like you felt the same way or anything!" He fights back as you stand silent, hand over your mouth, eyes on the floor.
That's when the penny finally drops for Steve.
"Shit, you did feel the same didn't you? You had feelings for me?" He questions softly as you wrap your arms around yourself, nodding a yes. He's been so blind, so stupid. How didn't he see this? How did you hide it so well?
"It's hardly that shocking, is it? I mean you're Steve Harrington, girls have been falling in love with you your whole life." You joke as Steve remains silent. "I didn't want to like you. Christ, when I started working at Family Video I expected to hate you but you weren't what I thought you'd be. You were funny and kind and caring and god, I saw how those kids worshipped you. It was only a matter of time really." You admitted. " There were times that I thought, 'maybe he likes me too' you know? But then Robin told me all about Nancy, how much you loved her, how you'd changed for her and I thought it was game over for me. She was just so perfect, I mean, how could I ever compete with someone like her?"
"There would never have been a contest, it would have been you every single time." Steve whispers, wanting to reach out for you.
"That's why you left Family Video isn't it? Cause you thought I still loved Nancy?" He asks as you nod again.
"I had to try to get over you."
"Did it work?"
"It doesn't matter Steve." You brush off the question, trying to walk away but he catches your hand gently.
"It matters to me."
"I'm with Eddie now. How I feel about you isn't going to change that." You state as Steve heavily accepts your words, however crushing they might be. He would always respect your decision, caring too much about you and Eddie to deliberately ruin your relationship.
"But if you weren't, and I had asked you out back then, would we be together now?" He asks, wiping the tears from your face. You already know the answer in your heart and you know Steve does too.
"Yeah, I think we would be. I know we would be." You assert as a single tear falls down his cheek. "But I can't do that to Eddie, I can't leave him."
"And I would never ask you to, honey. Fuck, I really messed this up." He sniffs as you shake your head. "We both did, Steve." You cry as he holds you close for several minutes.
"I better get going, I'm sure Munson will be home soon." He sighs, reluctantly letting you go, wishing he could keep you in his arms forever. He once again grabs his keys and heads for the front door as you follow close behind.
"Steve?"
"Hmm?"
"I do by the way, I do still love–" He cuts you off, pressing his lips lightly to yours for a brief moment before pulling away when he feels you kiss back, knowing if he'd waited a second longer, Eddie would arrive home to his best friend making love to his girlfriend.
"Please don't say it." Steve begs closing his eyes. "I'm trying to do the right thing here and walk away, if I hear you say that, I don't think I'll be able to leave without you." He whispers as you cup his face.
"Then you better go now because if you kiss me again, I don't think i'll have the strength to stop myself from going with you." You cry as he nods, exiting the trailer, walking back to his car, giving you one last look as he opens the BMW door. He smiles at you through glassy eyes, both of your hearts breaking as you wonder what could have been. Where does your friendship go from here? How are you supposed to forget about this night? How do you pretend that you aren't utterly and completely in love with each other?
"Goodnight honey."
"Goodnight Steve."
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