#I'm supposed to be the child who doesn't hurt people
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Alienation sucks
#Sel talks#Vent#Bleh!!#I've been feeling soooo much lately#The fact that I feel alone with my gender feelings. That it's not something I get to share or experience with anyone else#I haven't been going to my therapist because of one reason or another we're not on the same page#Like. For some reason people expect me not to know myself and how my brain works? When I have no social circles; who else am I going to be#Familiar with?#I keep reflecting on how often I was told I was being annoying as a child and how it affects my self esteem today#Why the he'll would anyone want to be around someone as annoying/clingy as me? I should be glad that they're letting me tag along for as#Long as they have#It really hurts#To lose relationships because I'm afraid of putting in effort only to be someone that's annoying to be around#And the people around me read that as me being unfriendly and it just. Continues#I wonder if my dad ever thinks about how he told me “even introverts have at least one friend by your age”#How many friend groups I'd gone through before high school. How by then I didn't feel like it was worth investing when it seems like I#Couldn't keep them.#4 different elementary schools. 5th grade friend gets home schooled. Middle school friend moves; hurts me; moves again.#Junior high; hardly anyone; the one I do have calls me clingy. High school; I finally get a somewhat stable group but how was I supposed to#Know it'd last. It doesn't help that as the oldest I was suposed to watch my siblings (or felt I had to) and that stupid rule my parents ha#“You can't visit friends until we meet the parents” but they never did. So I learned to never ask.#And now I work under capitalism! Where if you're not being productive with your time you may as well die!#It's so hard for me to find people with my early ass schedule and not being a part of the college it feels impossible.#It hurts so much#It feels physical sometimes#Even if I were to find somewhere or some people; how am I supposed to male the first move!#I'm so gd annoying! Apparently I was the most annoying child in my whole extended family!#How. How is it fair for me to. To inflict my existence on to other people for my own relief.#I can't keep living like this.#I shouldn't keep living like this.
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... y'all know Lae'zel is acting scared, right?
Video transcription: I've seen a lot of comments on my short about Lae'zel dismissing her entire character because she's mean and… I'm just checking in here… you guys know she's scared, right? She's terrified. She was kidnapped by the worst monster she knows, infected with the most horrifying death anyone in her culture can have, and then stranded on a hostile world, alone, with nothing to guide her except the dogmatic military cult indoctrination of a cruel lich demigod, telling her that her only hope of salvation is to follow Gith doctrine with total unyielding faith. And still she tries to save you. When she keeps insisting that you must get to the Githyanki crèche, it's our only hope, she's trying to guide you towards the only salvation she knows from the parasite, so she can share it with you. And Gith... aren't supposed to do that, saving an outsider is not part of the doctrine, she's breaking the rules trying to do right by you. None of that means she's not being an asshole, she's rude, dogmatic and unpleasant. But everything she does comes from a genuine, very misguided and abrasive, desire to do the right thing. It doesn't make her behaviour okay, but there is more to her character than just "being the mean one."
To expand on this a bit more than I can in a 60 second short, people acting from fear and from their damage is a major theme among the Baldur's Gate 3 companions.
Lae'zel is terrified and falling back on the only thing she believes will give her back some control over her situation, which is the dogma of the military cult she's in. Shadowheart is much the same, amnesiac and grasping on to the only solid thing she knows, which is her faith, which preaches deception, loss and duplicity as the only certain factors in life.
Gale is an inveterate people-pleaser desperately dependent on other people to help him feed his magic addiction, with his overtly affable exterior hiding a rolling boulder of guilt, ambition, greed, arrogance and legitimate hurt. Asterion is... well, no way to really lay out his deal without spoiling, but the boy has been through it and his self-destructive, hedonistic and selfish impulses are all coping mechanism and self-defense all the time.
None of that make their shitty behaviours okay, but in a fictional story, those kinds of flaws and toxic behaviours are what make for interesting stories and characters. I don't blame anyone for finding Lae'zel unpleasant and abrasive, but I do get a bit Old Man Yells At Cloud about people who casually brag about shoving her off a cliff-side, or murdering her because "she was a bitch" or whatever.
Like... being unable to face discomfort in your media is not a virtue, and lashing out reactively against fiction that doesn't validate your power fantasy isn't a flex.
Of course, I saw a lot of those reactions in YouTube comments and on social media, so my sample is biased by those algorithms, but still. A lot of people seem aggressively proud that they never engaged with her story because the terrified indoctrinated child-soldier wasn't immediately nice to them and I can't explain it but something about that reaction feels puritan to me.
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The Lottery II
Read The Lottery here | ~4.5k words
From me: There is def some fluctuating in the timeline. This part is mostly from Harry's POV and it suggests 6 years passes but that is more relevant for the next couple parts. There are pieces of this that happen shortly after she moves in and some years later. It might be a little hard to tell, but hopefully it won't ruin the story. I'm mostly establishing more background info in these parts. I feel like the real story doesn't begin till part three or even four.
Warnings: angst and fluff. (A new nickname for her!!!)
Summary: She is unbelievably sweet. Which makes Harry nervous because he knows how easy it would be to fall for her. Which he doesn't want.
But why does she have to be so sweet? It's nearly impossible not to fall for her.
“She opened a bookstore. But s’like a library too. The high schoolers go there t’study. And she helps them,” Harry muttered.
“Well yeah... I would too if I was in high school. I looked her up after you talked about her for an hour. Have you even seenher? You didn’t even mention how pretty she was. Why wouldn’t they go there to study? She’s beautiful, kind, intelligent, beautiful, funny, pretty—”
“Alright I get it,” he grumbled.
Louis was always ready to give Harry a hard time. More specifically he was always ready to remind him not to be so grumpy, but it was easier said than done. Harry was still young, and he shouldn’t have been so frustrated all the time. His twenties were supposed to be fun. But he didn’t feel like having fun anymore. He was much too young to be so jaded, but there he was; green, like a sour apple.
The stupid small town was just a reminder of the heartbreak he suffered on more than one front. People he had known his whole life... from when he was a baby, a child, a teen... it just felt like he was suffocating. He loved his town, he did. But it hurt. It was hard to forget about the hurt when everyone looked at him with pity because they knew. No one spoke too loudly, no one tried to upset him. It was miserable. They were trying to be kind because they knew Harry and they knew what he had been through.
Louis was the only one who tried to piss him off intentionally. When Harry let it slip that there was a new girl in town, he quickly did research and was ready to give Harry a hard time about her as well as every other thing he enjoyed pestering him about. “It’s good for you. Everyone tiptoeing around you is just making you angrier.”
When she argued with him that first day... even though it was trivial—just about pancakes—it was refreshing.
But Harry didn’t want to like her. Because he knew himself quite well. He knew the second he started to like her it was going to be a slippery slope to falling in love with her. How could he not? She was everything Louis said: kind, intelligent, beautiful, funny, and sweet... she was a breath of fresh air and Harry hadn’t had a fresh breath in ages.
No. He couldn’t think like that. Slippery slope.
But when she arrived at the diner the second morning and sat in the same spot at the counter as she did the day before—the spot that people had been avoiding for months because it was much too close to Harry—it softened something in the armor around his heart. The way she smiled in greeting even though he didn’t really return it. She ordered one of each pancake again and even though they argued, Harry knew there was no use fighting it. He was willing to do anything to keep that smile on her pretty face.
But they did still argue. Maybe she was trying to save Harry’s grumpy façade in front of his other customers, the people he had known his whole life. Like she was trying to keep up whatever pretense she didn’t even know he was maintaining. “Are you sure I can’t have one peach and one white chocolate chip pancake?” She asked hopefully. When she asked this time it didn’t have the same flare and attitude as the day before. Probably because she knew that she would get both again.
So why was she keeping it a secret?
“No,” he rolled his eyes. “One or the other.”
“White chocolate chip today then,” she sighed.
And Harry made her one of each because it really wasn’t that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. He was just mad the day before as he always was... and unfortunately, he took it out on her. It seemed like she didn’t even mind. Given she played like she didn’t notice Harry made one of each the day before was merely solidifying how much he liked her. Even though he wasn’t supposed to.
“She doesn’t tiptoe,” Harry mumbled.
“Of course she doesn’t. She doesn’t know,” Louis reminded him. It was hard talking to Louis about this stuff sometimes. It was over a FaceTime call. Because Louis was smart enough to leave the little town and only come back for visits. He wasn’t tied to the feeling in his chest the way Harry was. In a lot of ways Louis was smart. Smarter than Harry. Maybe a genius even. “But Harry, it’s a small town. She’s going to find out.”
Harry nodded. “Yeah... I know.”
But for a few weeks, it would be nice. Not having someone know everything about him.
“Then you’ll be able to tell her you love her.”
Louis was an idiot. Perhaps the dumbest person he knew.
*
It was a couple weeks later that she reached behind the counter for the little plate stacked with sugar and cream. “Hey,” he scowled. “Don’t do that,” he reached for it smacking her hand lightly out of the way.
“Why, it’s right there?”
“Because y’not supposed to!” It was the same argument they had been having since the second time she sat at the counter after her arrival. The first time she reached for the sugar and cream and was subject to Harry’s glare, she put her hands up defensively and let him put the plate next to her.
It seemed small towns didn’t change all that much. Even with a new person around, Harry wasn’t too surprised he was having the same conversation with her weeks later. “It’s literally right there, Harry.” She rolled her eyes and poured an unhealthy amount of sugar into the mug. He grimaced. “What?” She asked defensively. Apparently, he missed when she dumped an entire week’s worth of sugar into her coffee the day before.
“Do y’want coffee with your sugar?”
“I don’t really like hot coffee but if I don’t drink caffeine, I’ll be miserable for the entire day and ruin everyone else’s day too, so it will do,” she explained. Harry felt bad he didn’t have cold coffee for her. It was in his mind to buy a pitcher later that day and keep it for her specifically in the back fridge. No one else would drink cold coffee so it wouldn’t have to be a thing really.
How was it he was already obsessed with her, and he had only spoken with her for twenty minutes at most within the two days? Most of that short time was spent arguing with her too. It was insane. It was unreasonable. Harry was an idiot. A slippery slope of hopelessness.
Harry found it easier to be angrier. Cold. People asked less of him. He didn’t have to explain himself to anyone. Yeah, they tiptoed, but he didn’t have to talk. She looked like she was a talker. Ad nauseum at that. A person who owned a bookstore probably enjoyed talking and wanted to talk. Probably wanted to talk to the person they liked about everything under the sun.
“Did you see the moon last night?” She asked as he walked by. He shook his head of the thoughts of those first couple of days. They replayed often in his head. He was memorizing those first moments, and he didn’t know why... or if even if his subconscious really knew, he didn’t want the rest of his mind to think about it.
Everything under the moon then. He thought to himself. He blinked. “Yes?” He didn’t remember looking up specifically but surely, he saw it.
“It’s so pretty.”
Harry tilted his head at her. It was just the moon. He didn’t see what was particularly special, but he liked the reverence in her voice. How soft she was. “Yeah,” he nodded in agreement because there was no way he could argue with her when she was talking like that.
“I like the moon a lot,” she explained. Definitely a talker. But instead of hurrying to another table, he found himself rooted to the spot where he stood. Waiting for her to continue. “It’s comforting you know? It’s there all the time, even if you can’t see it some nights. You know it’s going to come back and it’s always so pretty. The crescent in the morning when it’s cold is my favorite. Or when the sun is setting in December and the sky is yellow and moon is too.”
Harry watched her. Wondering what made her say all that seemingly for no reason. Before he could ask why or embarrass himself with a declaration of how much he adored her already, she was getting up after placing her napkin over the plate. “Sorry, I have to run; the plumber is coming to set up the bathroom and backroom,” she slung her bag over her shoulder, tucking her notebook inside of it, and pushing in her stool. Right before she turned she smiled so sweetly at Harry it nearly made him blurt something insane like he loved her. “Have a nice day, Harry. I’ll see you later,” she gave a small wave and hurried out the door.
Harry had an intense desire to buy a telescope. But he knew if (when) he did, he was admitting he was fully fucked.
*
Other than breakfast, she didn’t say much most of the time because she was either reading or scribbling in her notebook. The glimpses Harry did see were a bit of a to-do list. Harry didn’t see her all that often unless she was reaching for sugar and cream over the breakfast counter. The storefront that was going to be her bookshop got a sign later that first week and was hung above the entrance door.
The Open Book.
Harry could never. The half-print, half-cursive lettering splayed on an outline of open pages of a wire novel. He assumed she was inside that very story or maybe unpacking her house still (it had been on her to do list since she arrived). It had to be overwhelming to move to a new house and open a new business.
In the few weeks she’d been there, he overheard everyone talking about her meeting with Sutton and how she got him to agree to giving her a designated parking spot out behind the strip of stores for free (so long as she shoveled her own spot and adhered to the no parking rule in the snow).
She was a hard worker. That was obvious. She chatted when people spoke to her, but she was quiet. She didn’t try to force herself on the town.
There was no denying how perfectly she fit in. Within weeks of opening, it was obvious her business was a success. He wondered if it was hard for her to start anew. How many people in her life doubted her? But she didn’t seem to mind if they did. People raved about her little shop. It was exactly what the town needed, and it was like the town needed her too.
“Hi sweetheart!” Alice cheered as she entered the diner. “Harry, she’s here!”
“Jesus, Alice. Embarrass them both why don’t you?”
Harry felt a twinge of a smile on his lips as he heard her laugh but he kept it to himself by staying in the back by the grill. Silently, he paused what he was doing while he tried to hide the overeagerness to see her. He turned to the fridge to grab the pitcher of cold coffee for her. “Did you make me cold coffee?” She asked when he stood in front of her poised to pour her a cup of her favorite coffee.
Today she was wearing a pair of red leggings beneath her colorful tutu. A shirt with the Crayola logo was across her chest and her eyeshadow was multi-colored across her eyes. “Whoa,” he stared at her for a lot longer than he should have.
“Is it too much?” She frowned glancing down at her outfit. “I sent Bailey a picture and she said I looked a bit ridiculous but we’re reading The Day the Crayons Quit and then we’re going to color with the wrong colors; so, I thought it was fitting,” she sighed. Harry poured the coffee over ice and a smirk twitched at his lips.
“S’cute,” he shrugged.
"Really!?" She said excitedly. "Good, I don't want to scare the kids either," she reached for the cream, and he smacked her hand softly before she grabbed it. She rolled her eyes.
“Hey Harry!” Someone called across the room and he left her without answering her cold coffee question. She frowned at her drink wondering why he did something so nice for her again. The pancakes were sweet, the coffee was even sweeter.
She couldn’t believe it. The whispering around town about Harry and his sour attitude ensued shortly after she arrived.
Any cute guys? Bailey texted her the third day she was there.
One. But he’s kinda grumpy. The town is under the impression that he won’t do anything for anybody.
Hard pass. You need a nice bubbly guy like you.
So why was Harry making her special pancakes and coffee? It didn’t match the grumpy persona that everyone described.
“Peach, y’want a muffin today?” He asked quietly while walking by her counter space. She blinked in surprise as he replaced the coffee pot on the burner to keep it warm. She was so confused and surprised she couldn’t even answer. “Y’deaf today?”
“No... I...” She shook her head. “You called me Peach.”
If she wasn’t watching him so closely, she wouldn’t have seen him still ever so briefly while grabbing the cream and sugar to bring to another table. “Uh...” he shook his head. Was this grumpy man blushing? “Y’jus’ order those pancakes so much so... I jus’ kinda...
“Right,” she cleared her throat. “Um... muffin. Yes. Thank you.”
Today was Wednesday which meant she just wanted a blueberry muffin because she was going to be reading to the kids at story time and even though they adored her, it made her nervous and she didn’t want to be nervous on a full stomach. After several minutes (because Harry was always sure to warm it on the grill with ample butter) he returned to the front and placed an apple alongside her muffin before her.
“D’you need help with y’place or shop?” He asked.
“Help?”
“M’jus’ worried ‘bout the pipes,” he explained. And you having hot water or heat in the winter.
“The pipes,” she repeated.
“Yes.”
“The pipes are fine,” she assured him. “Nothing to worry about, there.”
She didn’t tell him the Hollistons replaced them prior to moving out. “S’jus’ getting colder quickly,” he shrugged. “S’a little harder t’get around without a bunch of plows like a city.”
She nodded. “Right, of course,” she tilted her head as Harry continued. Her multi-colored, shiny eyeshadow sparkled and twinkled almost directly at Harry. “I’ll try to make sure an issue happens prior to the first snowfall.”
He rolled his eyes. “Y’bathroom is all set?” He asked.
“All set.”
“What’s next on your to-do list?”
She sliced her apple a bit at a time, a holdover from when she had braces and worried about the skin getting stuck in her brackets—she stared at Harry as he stood in front of her while she ate her slice in silence. She flipped her notebook open to the most recent to-do list. “The windows at the shop need to be replaced. They’re glued shut with paint. A theme in this town I’m assuming because I have several at home that need to be replaced too.”
“I could look at them for you. If y’want. S’a lot of money t’replace ‘em. Could save y’some money if I can jus’ repair them.”
“Really?”
He shrugged. “Yeah.”
“Well... that would be lovely. Thank you.”
“I’ll come by after work,” he offered and walked away before he asked to marry her or to live with her.
It seemed like he blinked, and suddenly a half hour had gone by. She was no longer in her seat. Harry frowned at the empty spot as he picked up her empty plate but found a note tucked underneath it, a page pulled from her notebook. Her handwriting was pretty, not quite calligraphy, but not quite print. A half-cursive, half-print script. It made him wonder if she designed her shop’s sign on her own.
Thanks for the offer to help! Sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye. Here’s my number, just give me a ten-minute heads-up when you’re coming over! Have a nice day, Harry :) - Peach
*
On the opening day of her shop, she had homemade muffins on display. It must have taken her ages to make them in her oven. Only a dozen at a time. Harry wished she had asked, and he would have lent his oven to her. Or even offered to help her make them. But why would she ask?
Harry rolled his eyes at her pancake order. And the omelet she wanted. It was half (literally half) cheese and half veggies but only if they were cooked separately. Really it was just two small omelets put near one another. When she explained it two more times, she finally drew a picture of two little rectangles in her notebook with arrows pointing to where the ingredients were supposed to go and slid it across the counter to Harry so he could see what she really meant. “Do y’have a thing against mixing your foods, Peach?”
“It tastes better that way.”
Maybe if Harry wasn’t so grumpy he would have found it a little funnier than he did. Maybe he would have even laughed and not snorted the way he did as he headed to the back kitchen. “Lemme guess. Y’eat milk and cereal separately too.”
She laughed. A gorgeous sound. Like a bird call made specifically for Harry. He shouldn’t have thought that way. She didn’t owe anything to him. She was lovely and sweet—a peach. Harry was sour and undeserving of someone so lovely. “Very funny, Harry.”
As lovely as she was, Harry couldn’t imagine going through the kind of heartbreak he would suffer because of her. It seemed inevitable that it would happen. Harry was too guarded, too grumpy. Louis tried to tell him it didn’t have to be that way, but it wasn’t something he could wrap his head around.
*
For the next several years, that was how their lives connected. Harry would make fun of her meal choices; she would try to steal the cream and sugar from behind the counter. The town loved their little businesses.
On Wednesdays and Fridays, she had story hour for the little ones. Harry had seen her dressed up as princesses, a mouse, and even a caterpillar. In the summer, she was sure to stock the shelves with summer reading books. When students had issues with their schoolwork, they checked in with her after school before emailing their teachers. Before major exams she held review groups and by year five, she had so many flashcards and quiz reviews for them that the principal asked if she would just teach. Teachers gave her the test reviews that were done in class.
But her shop was her pride and joy. Finding a book that a non-reader liked was like Christmas for her. Helping gift the perfect book on behalf of someone else was too. Or ordering a book series that she never would have thought of that was suggested by a little one was one of her favorite moments.
It was an amazing business, and it was almost entirely because of her.
The younger kids flocked to her when she walked through town giving her hugs and telling her all about the sticker chart, they were close to filling out (a five-dollar coupon for any book if they read ten age-level books). The older students went to her for dating advice, university application advice, and her shop was one of the most coveted jobs in town.
Honestly, Harry felt jealous he couldn’t work at The Open Book right along with her.
She worked nearly every day. At least popping in to make sure things ran smoothly. Harry knew the way small businesses worked better than anyone. It was nearly impossible to leave them alone. Even when you trusted another person.
Harry remembered the first day he laid eyes on her. The first day he made a fuss about her pancakes, and he had since lost count of how many pancakes he made for her after six years. On her birthday, he stuck a candle in them. Every spring and fall he cleaned her gutters.
He checked her pipes in the winter, even when she wasn’t home to let him in. “Y’shouldn’t leave your house unlocked,” he reprimanded when she entered her own house unphased by his presence.
“Edith or David are always home, they would call if there was a problem,” she shrugged kicking off her shoes and hanging her jacket up on her coatrack.
“Anyone could just walk in, Peach.”
“Exhibit A?” She gestured to him, and he rolled his eyes. “Do you want some water?” She asked, holding a bottle out to him. “You didn’t have to come check; I would call you if there was a problem.”
"I was over this way," he shrugged taking the water bottle from her.
"Do you want to stay? I'm going to order pizza," she yawned. "I'm too tired to cook."
Harry was terrified if he stayed he would never leave. The invitation wasn't that serious but it felt like it was. "M'good."
"Well then it's your fault when I eat an entire pizza on my onw."
He smirked, rolling his eyes. "Y'sure?" He asked.
"I'll even order a salad," she smiled sweetly. "Thank you for looking at the pipes."
"They look like they were replaced."
She shrugged. "Maybe the Holliston's replaced them," she suggested pulling out the pamphlet for the nearby pizza place from the drawer in her kitchen. Harry frowned. He wouldn't need to come check on them in the winter and that kind of saddened him. "I'm a plain person," Harry thought she was anything but plain. "I like cheese pizza. Do you want anything on yours?"
"I like peppers and onions...but y'don't have to--"
"That sounds yummy. I might try a slice," she smiled and dialed on her phone. "Could you look at my bathroom sink? The facet kind of leaks," she explained while skimming over the menu again. "Hi could I place an order for pick up?" She asked and walked toward the living room with a basket of laundry on one hip.
Harry felt it was a little too domestic, but he liked it way more than he could admit.
Louis was going to love it.
*
When it snowed, he shoveled her parking spot and cleared the store front walkway before he cleared his own. She thanked him profusely when he arrived at her house. But she wasn't actually at her house. There were footsteps leading from her own driveway, un-shoveled, because she was next door at Edith and David’s being sweet and kind to the elderly couple with inches of snow on the ground. Harry hurried after her, there to help.
They worked in silence scooping snow out of the way from front step to car and the rest of the driveway. “Where do Alice and Ed live?” She asked him to pause for a short break while shoveling.
“Uh... across town. On Second Street.”
She frowned. “Do they have neighbors to help shovel?” She asked.
“They’ll be fine, Peach.”
“But people over the age of forty-five aren’t supposed to shovel. They could have a heart attack,” she explained, and Harry could hear the worry in her voice for an elderly couple she hardly knew.
Harry sighed, looking at the too sweet girl for her own good. “We can go there next, love,” he assured her.
“We?”
“I can shovel ‘em out myself if y’have something t’do,” he shrugged.
“No... no, it was my idea. But why?”
Harry swallowed feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions pulse through him. Happy, sad, nervous, everything. It was like each one was battling for dominance and he willed tears to stay away from his eyes. He wasn’t going to confess his love to her, he knew that. But it kind of felt like he wanted to.
But was it even love? They never really talked. He knew surface level things about her and knew how lovely she was sure. But was that enough to be in love? Harry wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to love her. It was a terrible idea to love someone in this too small-town.
“Y’jus’ really nice, Peach. I want t’make sure you’re okay. You’re nice t’me. M’not the sunniest person. Y’never seem t’mind,” he explained and continued shoveling as if he hadn’t said anything at all.
She was watching him as he continued, unable to move. “You’re nice too, Harry,” she promised. “I see it in everything you do for this town. All the little things. I know you replace the lightbulbs on the streetlights because Sutton is too lazy to hire someone. I know you donated money to the high school baseball team for new uniforms. I know you love this town quietly even if you don’t want to for whatever reason. I hope you tell me some time.”
He ignored her little rant because if Harry hadn’t spent the last few years building up blockers and blinders to those kinds of sweet things he would have been a mess of tears at her words.
She gave his arm a squeeze when they finished Edith and David’s driveway. “Thanks for helping. Are you sure you want to help with Alice and Ed’s? I could do it myself. I just need a ride since my car is blocked in. We can shovel mine later. If you don’t mind of course.”
He appreciated her not bringing up how he loved the town. “I don’t mind, Peach,” he promised.
She grinned and looked up at the sky. It had stopped snowing a while ago and the sky was bright blue. “Look how pretty the moon is,” she chirped pointing up. Harry nodded, watching her happy smile and astonished eyes like it was the first time she had ever seen the moon.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “It really is.”
--
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Petty, I have a wild ass Jack and Joker theory, and I need to know what you think because we often end up in the clown car together, lol.
There's been a lot of talk/fears about Joke (and Toi Ting), now that we know character death is on the table - I'm not worried Joke will die (I am terrified they will gut us with Toi Ting but oh I hope not). I'm not saying that Joke isn't about to feel so responsible for what has happened that he's gonna get reckless with his life, because I absolutely think he will.
I think he's absolutely about to do some very stupid shit that could be his life in real danger as penance.
But I've been thinking for a while - since your initial posts about Hope and Save and their names - that Save is going to die. And now that I just skimmed a post that basically said that Joke and Save are the same character in different fonts and Save's guilt in episode 10, I'm absolutely positive.
Save is going to die.
Hope will live, because he has too. Without hope, we have nothing. (I also have a tangential theory that Save will die to save Hope, so...)
Thoughts?
Why not a third secret option? Why can’t everyone live? Since the show killed Jennie’s character, and the man who tried to run away with his few dollar bills died too, let’s just believe everyone remaining will survive! Even more, if Boss survives, then everyone BETTER live because no shitty father should survive when the possibility of a child dying is on the table. So I'm going to aim high because
Fortune Favors the Monkey King
Move over, Kitty! I'm driving this clown car straight to the opera house.
Because this is a Chinese opera.
We already know there is a Chinese influence in this story, as @veemark pointed out about the meal Joke ate with Jack and his grandma.
So with that in mind, in the fourth episode, when Nang punished the men for hurting her people, she drew the "09" stick (but she said nine-zero), which meant the men had to perform the Chinese opera of the Monkey King, which people in the tags thought was sooooo ridiculous!
In that same episode, Jack received his fortune, which was number 9 and stated, "When the fool changes black to white, the fate of the forgiver will change"
Now, skip to episode 9 when Joke gets "The Fool" card and changes the fate of Jack, the person who forgave him, so Jack's fortune was right.
Now, in episode 9, we also get the iconic team name "The Four Little Pigs"
And this is where the light bulb turned on because this is Journey to the West.
Journey to the West is an epic Chinese story that is 100 chapters long about a group of heroes having to complete a certain amount of tasks to achieve enlightenment.
The main character is Tang Sanzang who is basically a saint who wants to bring good to all the land and who everyone is in love with and wants to marry. We are introduced to him in chapter 9 of the story. He is the heart.
The first person he meets on his journey is the Monkey King, aka Sun Wukong, who was so great at being the best trickster that he became overconfident and ended up getting put in heavenly jail for 500 years. The first chapters of the story are actually about him. He is foolish, but he is also the mastermind.
He has a daughter, Yuebei Xing. She has her own story, Journey to the South. She is a badass. She fights monsters and lives to tell the tale.
The Monkey King is easily the most powerful of the bunch, but Tang Sanzang doesn't like the Monkey King's methods because they are immoral, so there is a gold ring involved that keeps him in check.
Or maybe it's this ring.
I think it's the second ring because a goddess, who keeps helping them along the way, helps them with the ring too. She is also cool.
Along the journey, they meet Zhu Wuneng, aka Pig. He is a smart fighter but he is greedy and selfish so he keeps taking shit he isn't supposed to, which constantly gets them in trouble. He is human nature (the world).
There is Sha Wujing aka Sandy, who was once a god, but shattered a crystal and ended up banished to earth to be a mortal. He is conformity without thought (the moon).
And finally, there is Bai Long Ma, who is a horse that they ride for transportation. He is human will (the star).
There is also a princess somewhere in there who must be saved from a marriage.
The group meets obstacles along the way, and lots of crazy shit goes down, but after 14 YEARS they finally come to the end of their journey.
And on their journey to achieve enlightenment they meet a squire whose loved one is kidnapped with the possibility of murder and another squire who is murdered and his wife is pissed about it because she did everything to make sure he wouldn't be harmed.
Now, if you gasped because you think Hope (or Save) will die, well . . . the number 14 fortune was Hope's.
The fortune was given in episode four which is the same episode Jack got his fortune, but it seemed like Hope's fortune played out in the same episode when he found Joke right across the hall staying with Jack.
But the thing is, in the Chinese story, regardless of which squire it is, they don't just need the Monkey King; they need the Monkey King's help.
So the Monkey King goes to the underworld to get the loved one back and succeeds (both times). But he still needs to save our saint!
Remember, the group has to do a certain number of deeds to bring peace to the land, so the group goes in to save their leader, and the ONLY reason they make it out is because all of the people they have helped along the way (especially the people the Monkey King has helped) return the favor and save them.
By saving others, they saved themselves.
So . . . I don't think anyone else is dying. However, it's been YEARS since I read a very condensed version of this story in Asian Rhetorics, and @journeytothewestresearch's blog helped me piece some of what I forgot together.
So I could be wrong, and everyone dies.
But I don't think so.
*fingers crossed that fortune favors the bold Monkey King*
#jack and joker#u steal my heart#journey to the west#I might have to read it again#I know a lot of stuff happened#but I'm holding out hope#I think this is the story being told#but I could be very wrong
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Nightmares || Worst!Logan Howlett x Reader
summary: Logan has a nightmare and finds comfort his his new child.
warnings: fluff, comfort, his child is adopted
Part if the Moonlight series (coming soon lol)
a/n: So i did things a little backwards. This should have been a oneshot after the og story of them finding the baby but I got this idea in my head and I couldn’t shake it so you’re getting some things out of order. You don’t need any context other than shes a baby and adopted tbh. Her name is Diana and i did take that from league of legends
Logan shoots up, chest pounding as a nightmare lingers in his head. He doesn't remember what this one was about. Probably just like all the other ones. His dead friends, the blood on his hands. Something along those lines.
He feels you stir next to him and freezes. You've been absolutely exhausted the last couple of weeks with the baby so the last thing he wants for you is to wake up because of him. He gently rubs your back, watching you relax under his touch until you're back to a nice deep sleep.
Loud cries start to come from the next room. His brows furrow as he pulls off the sheets.
Worry building in his chest as he hurries to the next room. Is something wrong? Is she sick? Hurt? He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees her in her bed. He places his hand on her forehead to check for a fever. No sign of sickness which is good but he's hyper aware as he checks her over.
"Hey there kid, what's with all the crying?" The crying starts to subside the moment she lays eyes on Logan.
He shushes her gently. Picking her up from her crib and holding her in his arms. He walks around in circles, gently bouncing her in his arms.
She's wearing some stupid onesie that Wade bought her. Red to match his suit. Stuffed animals sit perfectly in her crib but she clutches hard to one in particular. A damn wolverine plushie that you had searched forever for. He rolled his eyes at the idea but the moment Diana saw that stupid plush she squealed with happiness. Now it's her best friend.
"See no tears, no reason for tears. I'm here." He wipes away the stray tears from her chubby little cheeks.
He moves to put her back in bed but her faces scrunches up like she's going to cry again so he keeps her in his arms. He slowly sinks into the rocking chair sat next to her bed. Cradling her as he slowly rocks back and forth. The chair creaks beneath his weight and he makes a note to get a stronger chair.
"You hungry?" He tries to feed her the bottle you keep for emergencies but she won't budge. She doesn't need a diaper change so he has no clue why she woke up this time.
“Did you have a nightmare?" He asks softly as she grabs onto his finger. Looking up at him with big glassy eyes.
"That's okay, I get them too." She babbles nonsense in response.
Sometimes Logan wonders what she dreams about. Does she have memories of her parents? Does she ever miss them? Can she even miss them? She's just a baby. A poor, innocent child who was left for dead. The idea makes his blood boil. How could you just leave a child like that?
They're born into this world helpless and the people who were supposed to protect them left because their child happened to be born a mutant. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself. He was upsetting her, like she could sense his anger.
"Sorry kid, didn't mean to make you sad." She puts his finger in her mouth, sucking on it like a binky.
"Having fun there?" She gurgles and he takes that as a yes.
She shows no sign of being tired which is bad news for him and you. You just got her on a good sleep schedule and now it might get ruined.
"I know how scary nightmares can be." He brushes her little cheek and she giggles.
"But I promise they can't hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you." Her eyes start to flutter shut, the grip on his finger loosen as she listens to him talk. He moves her so that her head is resting on his chest. His hand rubbing up and down her back. She yawns and snuggles closer to him.
"Back to sleep kiddo, there we go."
"Logan?" Your sleepy voice calls from the door. You rub your eyes as you take in the view of Logan holding Diana in his arms.
"Nightmare.” He says looking at you. You walk over and gently rub his arm.
“You or her?” He doesn’t answer. You stay with them for a while. She’s fast asleep by now but she looks so comfortable in Logan’s arms that you can’t even think of separating the two.
“Do you want to talk about it?” No. He doesn’t. He’d rather focus on the good in his life than remember the past. In fact holding Diana puts him at peace. Quieting his mind in ways normally only you can.
“Maybe she’s good for more than just throwing up and making a mess.” Logan jokes and you lightly hit his arm.
“Shut up you love her.” He stares at her sleeping face.
She’s looks so peaceful. He does love her. So much. So much that it scares him. What if she grows up and thinks he’s a monster? What if he fucks up somewhere and ruins his perfect girls life? As far as he’s concerned everything he touches gets ruined. He still wakes up in disbelief that you’re by his side everyday.
“Okay Princess, we need to get you back to bed.” You try and take her our of his arms but he pulls back.
“No.” He holds her protectively to his chest. A flash of anger in his eyes fades as soon as it comes.
“I’m sorry. I. I just need a little longer.” He feels guilty for snapping but you understand.
You sit on the floor and rest your head on his lap. He doesn’t even try to tell you to go back to bed because he knows you won’t listen. So he sits back and watches his girl for a little longer.
His perfect family.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#worst!logan howlett x reader#dad!logan howlett
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Horror characters with an s/o who's love language is biting
So I'm sorry for barely posting anything in forever I've just been in a bit of a funk for awhile. Anyway @k1nn1e-0n-ma1n was super insistent I write this so shout out to him and his Bo Sinclair brain rot. This also was slightly inspired by @osirisisv RZ Michael Myers drawing.
Includes: Bo Sinclair, RZ Michael Myers, Otis Driftwood, and Doomhead
Warnings: Violence kind of, Bo and Otis being a perverts kind of
Bo Sinclair
Lester was a biter as a child and Bo has a very high pain tolerance so you biting him doesn't hurt it just surprises him. He honestly didn't know what you did until he looked over and saw you biting his hand.
"The fuck are ya doin'?" He'll ask verbatim. He's not mad, he's just confused as to why at 5:47 on a Tuesday during him watching reruns of some 80's show you decided to bite him.
When you say it's a love language he immediately thinks it's a sex thing. You will quickly shut that down and he'll get a little less excited.
"I still don't understand why ya did that darlin." He'll say before pulling you either on top of him or underneath him and just holding you so you can't bite him again.
On occasion he'll let you bite him again, but if you do it when he doesn't want you too he'll storm off to wherever and ignore you until you make it up to him.
RZ Michael Myers
He has a very high pain tolerance but when he feels you biting him he'll immediately push you off of him or put you in a headlock. He won't let you out either unless you beg him.
He is very confused as to why you bit him, because to his understanding you're not supposed to hurt the people you love.
He's going to probably disappear for a few days to think this over, and because he doesn't want you to bite him again for a little bit. But he'll come back more understanding.
You can bite him, but only when he's prepared and you're willing to 'play fight' because let's be honest, play fighting with Michael is basically him thinking he's playing and you fighting for you life. Could put you in head lock again.
He honestly might just roll up his sleeve and indirectly ask you to bite him. But this will happen after a lot of talking about how biting him means you're not trying to hurt him you just love him.
Otis Driftwood
"Did you just fucking bite me?" He asks you. And honestly no matter where you bite him it's a bad idea because he would taste like cigarettes, blood, and dirt.
Will be mad until you explain you do it because you love him and he'll laugh. Will also think it's a sex thing but you quickly shut that down. He's a little disappointed but doesn't mind too awfully much.
He doesn't mind as long as you give him a proper warning before you do it. If you catch him off guard he'll honestly pull his arm or whatever part of him you bit and leave you alone for a few hours at the least
Because he's a little freak he'll ask you to try and bite him harder than you normally do it to see how much pain he can handle. You can probably draw blood before he tells you to stop.
Overtime he learns to love it and honestly doesn't mind too much anymore. If a victim tries to or actually bites him he'll laugh and tell you about it later. "Don't worry honey, they weren't as good as you."
Doomhead
He’s not exactly lucid all the time so he might not realize you’re biting him at first. When he does realize it he pulls his hand away and laughs about it. "Do I taste good to you or something sweetheart?"
Will tease you about it non-stop. Brings it up all the time even if there's nothing to do with it currently. He'll have a hard time understanding that you're doing it "out of love".
He might honestly buy you a dog chew toy as a joke if you bite him often enough. Or like one of those baby teething toys. He will laugh so hard about it, especially if you get embarrassed about it.
That's not to say he doesn't like when you bite him. He can find the repetitive feeling calming and it honestly might make him feel more lucid at times. But he'd never ask you to do it. He might gives you hints though
#bo sinclair#bo sinclair x reader#bo sinclair x you#bo sinclair x y/n#michael myers x reader#michael myers x you#rz michael myers#otis driftwood x reader#otis driftwood#doomhead x reader#doomhead#slasher x y/n#slasher x reader#slasher fanfiction
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Okay, i've decided that i'm just gonna drop/dump some lore on Vermin, so if you're interested, read below! It's really long!
...o.0.O.0.o...
Personality:
Like canon-Leo's head-cannons, Vermin hides his true emotions behind a smile, but their differences are in the execution. Vermin's smiles are more wicked, more cruel, and he find amusement in making people fear him, having experience in getting people to listen to him by intimidating them.
He pretends to be indifferent to how the brothers act around him, but always keeps an eye out for any signs that they aren't as they say they are. Donnie specifically.
Big emotions are a no-no, so he hides them behind a passive face, empty of anything he's feeling so he can convince those he's talking with that he feels nothing, that he is unaffected by any stressors and anxiety. If anything get's too overwhelming, he retreats to a hidden corner to wait it out and tries not to remember how Draxum treated him when he let his emotions get the better of him.
Because he was raise without certain privileges, he gets extremely giddy around new experiences, such as sampling new foods and trying out video games and skateboarding. It's probably the only time he lets his guard down because he's so entranced by whatever is happening he forgets that he's not supposed to be showing emotion.
...o.0.O.0.o...
Relationships:
Raphael:
With Raph, Vermin just doesn't know how to deal with him. An injury brings Vermin to the lair and Raph is the one who heals him, but Vermin in uncertain whether or not he can trust someone with such obvious strength he can easily use to harm Vermin. He doesn't understand why Raph is so kind nervous when he could dominate his enemies.
Michelangelo:
Mikey is the one Vermin accepts the easiest other than April. Mikey has a way to handle Vermin without being too invasive and without threatening the slider in any way shape or form and eventually shows Vermin that there is kindness that is not expected to be repaid. He also helps Vermin lean into his chaotic mindset without it becoming harmful to others, like teaching him how to prank the other brothers.
And of course, Vermin loves trying his food, so Mikey basically tempts the slider like he might a feral cat.
Donatello:
Donnie is the one Vermin has the hardest time accepting. He's convinced he can easily beat the soft-shell in a fight, but once he discovers that Donnie is a scientist, he becomes wary of him, skittish and uncomfortable whenever he's around. He knows that there are other ways to get someone to obey than simply fighting.
It takes Donnie being patient and showing him that he means no harm over time that earns his trust. The softshell just has to break through the notion that all scientist are evil and only seek to destroy that which is closest to them. Donnie even goes as far as to promise to never let anything happen to Vermin ever again.
April O'Neil:
The first one to show kindness when Vermin leaves Draxum's lab. She shows the slider a side of society that he was being deprived of when he was with Draxum, helping him see that there is a place for everyone, that things don't need to hurt to be beneficial. She pretty much forcefully adopts him as her little brother and is even protective of him when he interacts with her other brothers.
Baron Draxum:
Was raised by Draxum. More info in the timeline.
...o.0.O.0.o...
Timeline:
Content Warnings: blood and injury, references to child abuse, loss of limb, needles, non-consensual drug use (kind of), non-consensual experimentation and surgery.
It gets dark, so be cautious of the warnings!
Age 0-4:
In the beginning, Lou Jitsu, later known as Splinter, only rescues three of the turtles, who eventually go by the name Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. The remaining turtle, identified by his red markings, is picked up by Baron Draxum before the lab explodes, destroying his life work. The only remaining bit of his research is the tiny creature small enough in the palm of his hand.
Quick to find a place to stay and recover, the Baron begins working to piece together his research using his subject. He starts a book, scribbling down anything worth noting and refraining from any larger tests besides bloodwork and skin-scraping until the subject is larger, better able to withstand any more intrusive tests.
He begins raising the creature, claiming it as his own.
Age 5-8:
Called by the title Red, the slider reaches acceptable cognizance to begin training by the age of five. He is small, just below the Baron's knee, but he is intelligent enough to understand complex problem solving and language. Weapons training is less successful than desired, but that could be related to the subject's weaker limbs and child-like nature.
Baron Draxum is relentless in his education, always prepared to deliver swift punishment should Red be unable to comply with his desires. Red hates the punishment, often times covered in bruises from the extra training or with a headache from spending his nights in 'The Room,' but he is just as stubborn as his guardian, if not more so. He always seeks to make his boss proud, ignoring the voice that always tells him he's not strong enough, not good enough. Baron Draxum always has a reason for saying things like that, so Red knows he just has to try harder.
He's not exactly sure what a human is, but the Baron is convinced that he needs to kill them all.
Every other week, the Baron brings Red to another room where he 'collects samples.' Red doesn't know what they're for, but he's seen the elder gather some of his freshly peeled chutes and teeth when they fall off, always writing in that journal with a little turtle drawn on the front.
One night, when he's just turned eight, Baron Draxum leaves in a hurry. He's gone for hours, leaving Red to his own devices and wondering if maybe the yokai had finally got bored of him, wondering if he just left him behind because he couldn't satisfy him. Red tries not to listen to the little voice in his head that says maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's better if he stays gone.
Red doesn't see him until the next day, well into the night, and suddenly, he regrets ever thinking those nasty things of his guardian. The yokai is hunched by the door, missing an arm and looking very tired. Red runs to him, but the Baron doesn't even acknowledge him, holding a towel to his stump.
Red is crying. He knows he shouldn't, knows that tears mean weakness, but he's afraid for his boss, afraid of what is happening, because that's a lot of blood. He feels something well up in his chest as he sits next to his guardian, the feeling swelling into his lungs and arms, weaving through his bones and into his fingers, bright, blue light zapping over his fingers. Something guides his hand, pressing them against the yokai's injury and forcing the light into him.
He heals Baron Draxum.
Baron Draxum looks at him like he's solved the world's problems.
Age 9-10:
Test after test after test. Red is sure he's never been through so many tests, but he finally sees the Baron's pride and he wants to impress him, so he doesn't complain when the needle digs too far, or when the scalpel scrapes a little to much skin. This new power is good, that's all he knows. Baron Draxum calls it mystic energy, says that it was a power he was seeking all along, so Red doesn't complain when all of the test make him tired enough to pass out, or make him cry himself to sleep because his chest aches from how long he had to work. Baron Draxum is proud, proud enough to give him a portal sword and teach him how to use it, proud enough to hand him a pair of tonfa and guide him through the motions of building a shield, proud enough to smile when Red uses the kusari-fundo for the first time.
Red trains his new skill until he's sick, until he can't stand, until he can't feel the first time Baron Draxum uses that strange, green liquid on him.
Baron Draxum was proud.
Age 11-13:
Red is pretty sure his name isn't Red any more. It's Vermin. At least, that's what the Baron has started to call him.
Ever since he stopped being able to use mystic energy without fainting, Baron Draxum has stopped using that old name. Now he was a pest, a creature incapable of healing, or portaling, or simply making things float. He is weak.
Baron did something while he was sedated; took apart his plastron and looked around inside. Vermin thinks he was looking for what was so wrong with him, why everything the slider does ends up in failure. He now has a shiny new plate of metal on his chest and a paranoia of falling asleep.
He lost count the amount of times he was put to sleep, but every time he woke to something different, and injection of mutagen transforming his body while he was so out of it he couldn't even open his eyes. His toes and fingers become more flexible, grow sharp talons attributed to some sort of owl. His tongue becomes forked, able to scent things by merely breathing. His hearing and eyesight become sharper, a fox's DNA granting him night vision. He becomes stronger, faster, more agile, but it's never enough.
Vermin's starting to think that it never was going to be enough.
Vermin is awake when Baran Draxum puts in the ports, ignoring how painful it is and preferring to strap Vermin to a table while he digs into the slider's neck and arms, leaving six, shiny new devices embedded in his skin. The Baron has Vermin carry around a canister of green liquid on his back, a 'empyrean variant' he said, and with a click of a button, the canister sprouts tubes that dig into his ports, releasing the substance into his bloodstream. It hurts, floods his system with fire, but Vermin was used to pain. Now he just has a few more scars to show for it.
The substance grants him more power, more strength, more speed. His senses, already sharp, become that much more, overwhelming his sensory intake, but he learns how to fight past the side-effects. Missions outside of the lab become easier, training obstacles the Baron create become simple to dispatch, he always hurts but there is no other option.
It's always been the Baron and him, but maybe... maybe it doesn't have to be.
He's tired of hurting, tired to running himself to the ground, tired of covert missions that paint Baron Draxum as the ultimate threat when he's doing all the work, tired to sneaking around New York City in a futile attempt of gathering information that will likely never be useful. He tired of being compared to the experiments that didn't live through the first test, he tired of living up to a trio of dead beings that weren't even strong enough to compete with him. He tired to the punishments, of the bruises, of the empty room, of the nightmares, of the expectations.
He's just tired.
On the morning of his fourteenth year, Vermin comes to the conclusion that Baron Draxum isn't the be-all-end-all, that his ideals do not have to be his own. It fills him with a giddiness that leaves him trembling, his heart pounding.
In the middle of his fourteenth year, Vermin leaves.
Age 14:
The first person Vermin officially meets a human named April O'Neil.
Age 16:
...Vermin is starting to think his name was meant to be Leonardo all along.
#art#drawing#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#sketch#update#rottmnt vermin au#finally some lore#this turned out a lot longer than i wanted and yet still feels like i didn't explain enough
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I would LOVE to hear your aro Hal thoughts if you don’t mind sharing?
[re:] (Sorry in advance there are absolutely no issue citations; I have saved so many pages in random places without labeling them.)
I don't know if I'd even call it having thoughts so much as having...an incomplete collection of Hal...saying things?
And having things said about him?
And he does this very familiar weasel jink when asked certain types of questions.
Like the general direction of authorial intent here is presumably that he's a ~playboy~ who ~can't be tied down~,
but we rarely see him...like...with anybody. He's an informed attribute playboy who's had a handful of onscreen flings that tend to be complete disasters with significantly less chemistry than a poorly measured baking soda volcano, and other than that there's Carol, who he's been failing to marry with high agitation for sixty-five years at this point. Like in cape comics it's standard for your obvious endgame A couple to take twenty or thirty years to get around to that, but sixty is excessive. Like even Alicia Masters and the Thing managed it faster and they kept getting put off because it stressed out too many Marvel writers to contemplate monsterfucking. (And other less comedic factors but this post isn't about that.)
And every time Hal tries to go steady with Carol he acts like he's dying, even though he clearly loves her and holds having her in his life in extremely high priority.
Like he is not enjoying a playboy lifestyle he doesn't want to give up. He has tried very hard to settle down several times, but he always panics and bolts at the last second like someone who's run out of the willpower¹ to keep holding onto an electrified rod--except when he's rescued by deus ex machina.
¹Ha.
And it's also pretty evident that he hates himself for this and doesn't understand why he can't pass this standard life milestone, or why he keeps hurting Carol, his favorite person, trying and failing to do what they think you're supposed to. He very blatantly views his romantic failures as something that let down other people and "improving" as a sacrifice he's supposed to make for them.
When his desires come into it it's primarily in the context of him gaslighting himself about how he totally wants the things he's supposed to that won't disappoint people, definitely definitely for real this time.
As seen above, romantic success for Hal is often conflated with retiring from being Green Lantern to inject cheap drama and insert a built-in inevitable failure, framing him as staying single because he's "married to the job". This barely ever made sense but was already downright comedic by the, I want to say late 70's?, where Carol was in on the secret identity and John and Katma were pulling off extremely successful GL/GL dating in the same book. At this point it's complete nonsense, so writers have been pulling harder on framing Hal as a disorganized man-child with commitment issues who's just sort of arbitrarily rendered undateable by being a committed superhero, something which, although it's a classic source of drama, has not hindered any of DC's other characters to this degree this consistently.
In conclusion: This aro man does not know what aromanticism is despite being one degree of separation from Connor Hawke, which is ruining his life and his ability to have any self esteem. Him and Carol desperately need someone to tell them what queerplatonic relationships are so they can stop doing these wretched I'm-not-touching-you kisses.
#EverybodyDislikedThat
Also he's been dressing up as the aromantic flag since 1959. Okay now I'm done.
#carol also has a ton of stuff going on contributing to their periodic explosive unfianceing that i am just not qualified to unpack#green lantern#hal jordan#comics#aromantic#essays#you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be#asks answered#long post#DCU#DC
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I don't know if you keep up with any YouTuber stuff, but right now a situation has blown up about Cody Ko having had sex with Tana Mongeau when he was 25 and she was 17. She had consented at the time.
There's been discussions about it being a crime and about age of consent and stuff like that, and there have been some people who have said that under no circumstances can a 17 year old consent to sex.
And I was wondering what your position would be as a sex educator? Not necessarily about the Cody + Tana situation itself, just more about whether a 17 year old can consent?
sorry hang on, there are people sincerely arguing that there are *no* situations in which 17 year olds can consent to sex? including with other 17 year olds? because of that's the case, ooooh boy, I'm gonna need a lot of people to touch grass some grass asap.
anyway from a legal standpoint I'm unsure where this would fall. a cursory google search has indicated that Mongeau is American and Ko is Canadian. age of consent laws are different between the two countries, so whether or not this is considered a crime in the strictest legal sense of the word would depend on where, geographically, this took place.
even if it were in a US state where an adult having sex with someone under the age of 18 is categorically illegal, it's unlikely that it would have been treated as a crime at the time if Mongeau didn't alert authorities or press charges. the fact of the matter is that there are just, like, a lot of adults having sex with teenagers, specifically skeezy men hooking up with teenage girls. high school one of my closest friends had a 24 year old boyfriend and everyone agreed that it was weird but also her parents were completely aware of the situation, liked the guy, and let him hang out in their house pretty much constantly, so like. what was anyone supposed to do about that? hell, numerous studies have found that around a quarter of pregnant teenagers are impregnated by someone 5+ years their senior. yes it's a crime, no it's probably not going to see legal action unless someone (usually the minor's guardians) pursues statutory rape charges.
all of which I guess brings us to your question of whether or not a 17 year old can consent to sex with a 25 year old, which I presume you mean in, like, a moral sense and not a legal sense. to which I say sure, a 17 year old is absolutely capable of understanding what sex is and deciding that they want to do that, but that doesn't make it cool and fine that an adult agreed to do it with them.
look, man, I'm 27. I have a lot of 25 year old friends. if any of them announced that they were hooking up with 17 year olds, I would stage an intervention. a 17 year old is obviously not the same as a CHILD child, but the maturity differential is, for the most part, drastic enough that I do genuinely struggle to understand why someone in their mid-twenties would even be interested if not for the sake of having a sexual partners who's less experienced and easier to influence.
having said that I will throw in the final caveat that I am, deeply and always, firmly against carceral "justice," and particularly in a case like this where the younger party was (presumably) not forced or coerced or otherwise hurt, entry into an inhumane prison system is not an appropriate outcome for the older party.
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Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)
Fascinating!
patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me
I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3
“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?
lmao literally
Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.
It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.
honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though
God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.
TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!
cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman
it’s insane to me that ��it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now
we've regressed
when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me
unfortunately radfem juice is addictive
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Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.
Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.
Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.
Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.
I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.
As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.
Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.
And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.
First of all.
FIRST OF ALL...
Aziraphale has a mind of his own.
Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.
Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.
He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.
He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.
He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.
He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.
He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.
Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.
Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.
You get that, right?
Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.
People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.
Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.
And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.
And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.
Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.
But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.
What did he give them?
We all know what it is!
Let's say it together!
He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.
And then what did he do after that?
Ooooh, yeah, that's right.
God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.
Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.
This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.
We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.
But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.
Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.
And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.
He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.
Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.
But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.
But then The Metatron said this....
The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.
It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.
But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.
Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.
He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.
But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.
Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.
Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.
Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.
And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.
What the actual fuck, y'all.
Like seriously.
I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.
It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.
People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.
Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.
I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.
#autistic coded character#religious trauma#good omens#aziraphale#aziraphale defense squad#i'm in a mood#like i'm begging y'all to learn what empathy is#like goddamn i know i'm not perfect but at least i don't forget that the reason for everything in good omens is love#neil has said this several times#it's one thing to dislike a character#it's another to assassinate characters in ways that blatantly contradict what the narrative has told us#and try to pass it off as canon#if you wanna send me hate just hit the block button instead#i'll try to be really sad about it#and if you just have to send me hatemail at least have the courage to attach it to your name instead of hiding behind anon#i'm too old for this shit#i'm gonna go back to the star wars tag now#it's been a minute since i went off and today proved to be the perfect day for it
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trust you - Anakin Skywalker x f! reader
Summary: You work as a tech for the Jedi Temple and end up having to fix Anakin's robotic arm, once again. He starts having trust issues when she and his son, Luke Skywalker, become close to each other.
Warning: Angst, hurt, mentions of injury, cursing | Ps: Luke is his only child in this story. Anakin doesn't become a Sith (for now hehe)
Word count: 1.7k
*
Anakin arrived in the tech room with a frown plastered over his face, as always. His cheekbone was bloody and his metal arm was loose as well as malfunctioning.
She was sitting on her table, writing down on a piece of paper when his name was announced. She turned her head around and watched as he silently sat down on a chair across from her. One of her droids excused itself, leaving them both alone.
Anakin had his blank stare at some random point in the room, not bothering to look at her, who dragged the chair closer to him. (Y/N) gently grabbed his metallic arm, looking at the prosthetic.
"What happened this time?" She asked, trailing his limb. He still didn't look at her, or even mentioned to do so. "Tough assignment today?"
He sighed, rubbing off the dripping blood from his chin as he tried to close his fake fist. The motion failed, and he pulled his fingertips as he's supposed to feel the touch.
"Got a blast shot on it" His husky voice was almost a whisper, she nodded. When (Y/N) looked at again, she noticed how tired he looked. He had bags under his eyes and his forehead seemed to have more wrinkles to it.
She nodded and got up looking for her tools. It wasn't actually strange for her to fix his arm, because this wasn't her first time doing it. Maybe it wasn't even her first time seeing him coming back from a mission all beaten up.
Sometimes, he would look less upset or mad. But it was hard to decipher how he was feeling because Anakin was a pro at hiding his emotions ever since he lost his love interest. Perhaps having Luke around him would make him seem less disturbed, but also, having a kid wasn't easy for him.
(Y/N) took a closer look and noticed the robotic articulations were almost melting. It was going to take a while and she was afraid of telling him the bad news. Most people are always feeling intimidated by him, especially by the way he looks at everyone.
She let out a quiet sigh, catching his attention anyway. Since he became a stronger Jedi, his hearing had improved a lot. "What?"
It was the first time Anakin actually looked at her, wondering just what the fuck happened now. Slowly lifting her gaze at him, she gathered all of her courage to speak up.
"Your robotic articulations are "injured". And we're going to need some time to fix it, I'm sorry". She gave him a sympathetic look, to which he scoffed and shut his eyes.
"How long?" His voice carried some sort of rage and (Y/N) saw him making a fist with his other hand.
"Uh, we don't know. But I'll make sure it won't take too long".
Anakin grunted and ran his fingers between his hair. It was quite hot to see him like that, she thought to herself. At the same time, (Y/N) scolded herself for even thinking of something like that.
He didn't look at her when he released his fingers from his curls. "I'll give you a day".
While detaching his faux limb, she tried not to roll her eyes. He was always giving orders to people, not ever caring who they were. "We'll try our best Master Skywalker", she said bluntly.
(Y/N) placed the robotic arm above another table and reached for a first aid kit. She approached the man cautiously while holding a wet cotton. Anakin, who finally looked at her after snapping out of his reverie, furrowed his eyebrows when he saw what she was doing.
(Y/N) gently placed her hand on the Jedi's cheekbone, who remained still as she wiped the almost dried blood from his face. Anakin didn't flinch, even though he felt his skin burn from the contact with the stinging product.
He closed his eyes tightly to avoid eye contact with her, he didn't want to show any fragility at that moment. He was forced to face (Y/N) in front of him anyway, when she walked away to throw the material in the trash.
"You should get some rest, Master. Take this as an excuse to cool off for a bit". (Y/N) gave him an ice pack for his wound, smiling at him.
Anakin stood up from his chair holding a serious expression on his face while nodding. "Yeah, thank you".
He left the tech room without looking back. She scoffed. It was his thing to be the least polite ever and not even look at anyone.
(Y/N) considered it a win having caught his attention twice that day. He never does that. Not ever since he lost Padmé anyway.
*
Anakin
Luke came running straight to me as soon as I got to the loft. He was doing his homework with C-3PO before I arrived.
"Daddy!" He shouted as his small arms hugged my legs. "Your arm is missing, what happened?".
Little guy never failed to actually notice things. I crouched down to stay on his level and messed up his hair. "Dad was on an assignment, and it got shot with a blast".
He frowned for a second before messing my hair back. "Hey, little one!"
Luke started laughing as he ran back to the Droid, hiding behind him. "Are you alright, Master Skywalker? Do I need to contact the medical bay?"
I shook my head and flopped down on my bed. "Thank you, 3PO. I just need some rest".
The Droid nodded and walked back to the table, so my son could finish his homework. I sighed, it was weird to have a missing limb. It has been so long, I don't even remember how it felt like. I could still feel my ghost fingers moving.
I felt a throbbing pain on my cheekbone as well as my ribs, making it harder for me to breathe properly. My single hand went straight to my hair as I ran through it nervously.
I tried to dial down the stress, but couldn't even keep my eyes shut for what felt like half an hour. Luke had left the loft with C-P30 for whatever reason, which made me feel relieved. I didn't want my kid to see me like that.
"Fuck", I muttered under my breath. I wasn't sure I had painkillers lying around, and I didn't feel like going to the medical bay for an appointment.
I only found a bottle of liquor and decided to pour some into a glass. The strong taste burned my throat, and it hit my stomach briskly. If that doesn't numb the pain, I would have to drag myself out of the house. It was enough already I didn't have my metal arm, I wouldn't want to deal with that excruciating pain.
I didn't realize I had laid my head down on the kitchen countertop. The muffled sounds coming from my door woke me up, and I quickly grabbed my lightsaber, holding it next to me.
It was already dark, and only then I noticed Luke wasn't there. He wasn't watching TV or playing with his toys. Nor was he trying to sneak on me looking for my weapons that he fancied.
My fingertips became cold as I carefully walked towards the living room, still hearing low whispers. The giggling made me drop my shoulders and put down my lightsaber when I realized it was Luke.
"Luke! What the hell were you doing out? It's dark" My voice came out louder than I intended, and it scared him. He was using both hands to hold (Y/N)'s left arm, like he was trying to drag her inside.
"I'm sorry, Master Skywalker. He went to the tech room with 3PO. He wanted to see your arm". Her voice sounds apologetic and a bit apprehensive, even.
I crossed my arms in front of my chest, watching as Luke reluctantly let go of her. "Sorry, dad. I just wanted to see how your arm was. I asked Miss (Y/N) to show me around as well, and 3PO said it was ok if she watched me".
"I didn't mean to bother, I'm really sor-" I cut her off before she could even apologize. My gaze met his and he nodded, knowing he should go to his bedroom.
"You should've brought him right away. He's not supposed to be out when I'm not with him". (Y/N) bit her lip and brought her hands together. "Don't do that again, please. Or I won't let him go near you".
She got taken aback, her eyes met the floor as she crossed her arms. "I really am sorry. I didn't know". I could barely hear her voice, it felt like she had a lump in her throat.
All I did was nod and watch as she turned her back to me and walked out of my door. I was about to make my way to Luke's room, when I found him propped up on the door stop, looking at me with fear.
"Buddy, I said you should only stay with C-3PO" The boy looked down at his feet and sniffed.
"But I wanted to look. I wanted to see how your metal arm is. It's pretty cool, by the way! Dad, don't be mad at her. She was nice to me, and she stayed with me the whole time!" He pleaded, he had his small hands holding the hem of my under tunic.
I released a drained sigh and sat close to Luke. "You can't trust everyone, Skywalker. It's a different world out there, we need to watch ourselves".
I didn't want him to trust anyone, I didn't need to see him trust every person who's nice to him. I've been there before, I know what it was like. I lost my girl. I trusted someone and I got stabbed behind my back.
I don't want Luke to be like me. I know who I became after losing Padmé. And I can't trust anyone anymore, either. I have issues trying to trust Obi-Wan again.
And more importantly, I don't want to fall for someone and lose them again. Because at some point, it always happens.
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker fanfic#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin fanfic#anakin fanfiction#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin imagine#star wars fanfic#hayden christensen imagine#anakin skywalker fluff#anakin fluff#anakin skywalker#usersavana#clonecaptains#userlace
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Let's go enjoy the sun and 55!
Hopefully I'm doing this correctly eksoqheb-
Let's go enjoy the sun!
Haru might have convinced you to help out for their fundraiser so let's see who are the three people who come to spend the evening in Jabberwock
Wc: ~1,8k
“Is everything ready?” Haru asks from the door of Jabberwock while he carries out a very homemade stand under his arm before setting it down. It's the equivalent to a child's lemonade stand but rather it read ‘jabberwock fundraiser’ in big black letters
“Are you honestly doing this?”
“We are really in need of money, ren!” He pouts before saying something to Towa who was humming in agreement.
“Why are you even here? You aren't even part of Jabberwock” Ren looks up from his raid to side eye you.
“Haru looked pretty depressed while he vented so I decided to help”
“Are you stupid or spineless?” a sigh leaves his lips and he doesn't wait for an answer before focusing again on his phone.
“Stop bothering them, Ren! At least I heard what you said so now you only have to wait on visitors and charge them”
“And you forced me to not take shifts to do what I do for my job?”
Ignoring him Haru pulls a marker and writes down the prices.
500 yen for 30 minute foraging group tour with Towa
800 yen for 30 minute capybus ride with Haru
But when you reach your price for essentially frolicking around the hills and sunbathing your breath scapes your lungs
“So expensive”
“Don't undersell yourself!” Haru chimes and towa hums “I'm sure you will get us more earnings than you think!”
“That is like 2500 diamonds in Shock of clans” Ren comments, and it makes you remember when he spent 30 minutes thinking if buying diamonds was smart. Next he throws a sly smirk “seems like someone else can take care of the cashier for me”
“Then you can go feed the salamanders! Such good thinking Ren!” Haru chimes.
“Forget it, I just remembered they weren't good at math"
“Hello, senpai” Sho smiles as he hands the money to Ren, who was still bitching about now having to pay proper attention to his job and not the game.
“oh? I didn't expect you to come by, Sho!” quickly you walk around the stand and hug him. Seeing he paid, you link both of your arms and start leading where Haru told you was your ‘station’.
“and leave you with whatever pervert might come? After you helped around the truck some weirdos came asking when you would be there again”
“Mhm, so you decided to be the weirdo?” You two walk down a path between some overgrown red cap mushrooms that were as tall as trees, this would be such a good place to record an Alice in wonderland movie.
“Here I come trying to save you from perverts and this is how I get treated?” Sho feigns being hurt, his hand slapping his chest “so what were you supposed to do?”
You throw yourself on the red blanket laying down on the floor before smiling knowing he would crack up “ I'm hosting a flower themed tea party” and your hand signals to the glass teapot with lotus designs and the matching lotus shaped teacups that hotarubi lent “and if you want I can make you a flower crown” without missing a beat he laughs “to be fair, I thought I would lead a tour or play cashier”
“And they ended up having you serve tea?” You nod “and you didn't complain?” you nod again “well, are you going to pour me or what?” He sits down next to you, soon drinking the jasmine tea.
For the hour that he booked you two mostly chatted about how he was doing, how he was getting closer to Subaru, and how his food truck was going. It was so nice to be able to chat with Sho without Leo interrupting or him dividing his attention between cooking and receiving clients but every few minutes his phone would start buzzing making him frown until he checks who is sending the texts.
“Oi, smile” Sho raises the telephone and takes a photo of you making him a flower crown with some dandelions and wild flowers.
“keeping a photo for the memory? I would have fixed my hair if you were gonna to photograph me”
“Leo is texting me nonstop, maybe this will stop him a bit” he puts down the phone and grabs one of the cookies that were on the plate, they are the typical chocolate chip cookies from the kiosk but that are a worthy accompaniment.
Not even a few minutes later Leo uploads a post on wickchat and Sho gets a notification, from his scowl you can guess he isn't happy. In his screen there is a story with a snarky comment mocking his friend and soon the comments flooded with people sympathizing with him.
damn, my friend bailed out of a hang out to go out with his crush who doesn't even like him
“That asshole” the comment and the cluck of his tongue slip without thinking, soon getting your attention from the almost finished craft.
“Is it that bad?” Curious, you take your own phone from your cardigan but before even being able to type Leo's user in the search bar Sho throws himself at you, arm quickly swatting away the phone. Effectively ensuring you didn't see the post but making him lose balance and fall over just in time for Ritsu and Ren walking in.
“Hey, YN, can you watch the stand for a sec? He wants to go on a tour and I can't find To-” his eyes widen when he sees the scene “what the…”
“If you desire to file for sexual harassment I would be honored to be your lawyer in the proceedings”
“Wait a minute this isn't what it looks like!”
“He just lost balance, there is no need to jump to conclusions”
“No need to feel ashamed, there are two visual witnesses to attest, I'm sure Darkwick will respond”
Soon enough, either because of embarrassment, Ren looking at him with thinly veiled disgust or Ritsu pushing you to file a restraining order, Sho leaves soon after entering jabberwock.
“Tsk, why would you bring me here?” Jin scratches the back of his head, icy blue eyes almost closed due to the sunlight he isn't used to.
“Hermits can be prone to vitamin D deficiency, and I saw this as the perfect opportunity for you to take some sun”
“Go to hell and die, asshole” Jin barks at him between clenched teeth but Thoma doesn't bother with him and goes to the stand.
“Morning, Thoma!” You wave as he gets closer
“inspector? I wasn't expecting to see you here”
“Yeah, Ren left me here while he led a first year to Towa’s tour” your hand points to the wooden slate with the three options and prices.
“Oh? I didn't hear that there were different tours” Thoma grabs his chin, looking over the proposals curiously. Behind him Jin is kicking dirt and cursing under his breath, if he could teleport with his sword why is he here still?
“Yep! Towa just left with the foraging party so he shouldn't return for a good few minutes, but Haru should be back soon”
“Hmm… I do see your name here, do you host a tour of your own?”
“It isn't quite like that” you laugh a bit “we decided that I shouldn't be alone with the anomalies just in case anything goes wrong. I just have a sort of tea party”
“That does seem more like Jin's thing out of these options” Thoma mumbles lightly
“Oh, right now I'm taking care of the stand so I can't really entertain people” out of nowhere Ren’s hand lands on your shoulder, prompting you to give him his seat, last time you refused to he pulled his floatie around your torso so you couldn't move. He had a smile from ear to ear, sadistic brat.
“did you decide what you want to do?” Ren uses his customer service voice, barely different from his normal voice, just somehow more lifeless. If that was possible.
“we both will go with YN” Thoma pulls his wallet and pays. Ren hums while counting the money.
Jin scoffs seated on the checkered blanket, a smirk on his lips “so you are going to be waiting on me again, servant”
You roll your eyes at his comment, even if this time you were technically serving him “yeah, yeah, it was indeed on the description” a soft smirk forms between your lips seeing a way to tease him. you turn around to face the teapot you ask “jasmine or black tea?” your hands fiddle with the lid, acting as if you were going to open it and put leaves in.
“Fine then, I want black tea”
“Wrong, it's jasmine” as you turn around to serve it and see his annoyed face and Thoma's amused one “this teapot never runs out of warm tea but it's always Jasmine” silently he complains but still drinks the tea, getting slightly more annoyed from the fact it tastes good, soft flowery flavor that leaves a nice sweetness on the tongue.
“Isn't that quite the useful anomaly?” Thoma muses, watching how slowly the liquid inside swirls from side to side and starts going up, filling itself again.
“I thought the same, Subaru was so nice for lending it to us for a day! He said to take it as Hotarubi’s support” you can remember clearly how he offered it before assuring that he didn't mean that he expected Jabberwock to help his dorm if anything happened! And that it wasn't like he was expecting anything like that and- luckily Haku popped in before his dorm leader had a panic attack.
“Isn't that nice of them? I'm sure we could use a source of warm drinks in Frostheim”
“Haku told me that the wait list for it can get pretty long, around two months at a time” idly your hand brushes the grass, plucking a white flower growing close to the blanket and you bend the stem to make a small ring. Seeing Jin's pale hand resting on his lap you might as well give it to him but before you lean to the right and grab Jin's hand he moves it.
“Don't even think about it” like a cat with a too cuddly owner, he swipes his hand behind his back.
“Fine, Thoma give me your hand then” you lean forward but before you can grab Thoma's hand Jin snatches it “oh~? I thought you didn't want it”
He stuffs the ring in his pocket “Tsk what you give to your king can't be taken back even if you want to so stop whining”
When the time finished they both walked back to frostheim when Thoma hums softly a song.
“Do you want to die? bastard” when he flips him off the little white flower is in the next finger to the middle finger
“Did I do something to anger you? It's just some notes” and he keeps humming the wedding march.
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I think Freminet has some of the most interesting dissonance in his self perception of any Genshin character.
Like, of the Hearthlings we know, he's one of the most emotionally mature and intelligent. Lynette might still have him beat, but after playing her hangout... I dunno. I think they're tied. Lyney is Crumbling, Alrecchino is. Well. Arlecchino. Everyone else is a deeply traumatized child or adult and Freminet seems to pretty regularly be people's emotional support. His character stories talk about getting his vision by saving a bunch of other kids on a dive that went bad. The Selkie event literally had him being a therapist for a grownass woman, citing his past experiences with all the other Hearthlings that have died or killed themselves. And he handled that situation WELL. Yeah, he seems to live in a fantasy, but goddamn he's alive and a lot of people in his position aren't so clearly something is working.
Either his or Lyney's character story talks about the time Freminet had reached out to Lyney to try to ease his burdens, which resulted in Lyney blowing up at him. That probably contributed to Freminet thinking he's not good at it, but I think the reason Lyney reacted so badly was BECAUSE Freminet is actually a good support. He can't allow himself that from the little brother he's supposed to protect.
Freminet seems to both cry and dissociate often, but like... Kiddo you are in fact the only person in this family actually processing your emotions. Lynette dissociates 24/7. Arlecchino. Lyney lies and tells everyone he's fine and would literally rather die than admit otherwise. In comparison, Freminet is doing FANTASTIC
Freminet also gets a lot out of helping people! Like anyone, he needs to feel useful and needed. He seems to be an excellent mentor to the younger Hearthlings and perfectly competent on his own, but when you put him in a room with Lyney and Lynette who baby him and insist that THEY take care of HIM, he withdraws into himself.
Like, Freminet by himself feels like a young man and Freminet with the magician twins feels like a teenager. I have no idea how old he actually is. Logically, he would be OLDER than them! He's been with the House much, much longer and his experience shows. I think it's fascinating that they love him SO MUCH and yet, they just Cannot let him help them. Which is hurting him.
(Lynette is much better about not babying him and that is probably why their relationship is so much better than Freminet and Lyney's. Also why she keeps having to mediate between them. Because Lyney charges off trying to Fix Everything and that just makes Freminet feel useless and he doesn't want to get in the way and- you get the point)
Idk. It's hard to tell what things the previous director said to him vs what Arlecchino has said to him. I'm inclined to think our Arlecchino was the one that said he cries too much, but in a "crying in front of your enemies will get you killed" way and she herself is too fucked up to realize how "you cry too much" could be damaging.
Also I try not to consider gameplay stuff when it comes to story, but Freminet also has some of the most BRUTAL animations. He SMASHES HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT METAL PENGUIN INTO HIS ENEMY'S FACE. He doesn't think he's the most amazing fighter, and by Fatui standards he probably isn't, but he is winning fights against most grown men.
Tldr Freminet thinks he cries too much and is a burden and isn't good at helping people when he's actually the most mentally stable Hearthling send tweet
#freminet#genshin#house of hearth#character analysis#this is all over the lplace bc I'm on my phone#many freminet thoughts today#I don't wanna talk about trailer spoilers but also#this young man is a physical MONSTER#he's so similar but so different to Kaveh#where a lot of people Do perceive Freminet as a little... off#and he is#but he is a beacon of hope for all the other fucked up kids that are lost and alone#and I just think that's neat#kiddo benefits a lot from helping others#you can see how he lights up#even the hydro dragon hydro dragon don't cry#I'm sorry#this kid is comforting GOD#i think that says something
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Woooo, congrats on 1k followers, sure has been a ride, huh?
Now, with requests back open, it's time time for the sequel to my Arle request!
Okay so, like I said in that ask I sent a while ago, this one takes place in the same "continuity" as the angsty af Arle request you did last req period. This one takes place some time after that story, and is less angsty in this case (but there's definitely still some here).
Here, similarily to the last request, the "Mother" of the House is staying in... let's say Fontaine, tending to one of the injured children (could be some rando kid, or maybe it's one of the Fontaine trio) after a mission. Unlike last time though, it's looking as though the child will pull through, that "Mother" won't have to bury another of her kids!
Bad news tho, the people responsible for the child's injuries are coming around to finish what they started. Arle, who's handling business elsewhere, catches wind of this and makes haste to help her wife.
Little did those who came to finish the child realize what danger they're in. Because you see, fem!reader is a former child of the House of Hearth. Not just that, she's the wife of a Harbinger. Normally she doesn't engage in violence, but these people Hage intentions of ending her child's life, and she simply cannot let that slide.
And so, Arle arrives just in time to bare witness to her s/o going absolutely John Wick (does she kill anyone with a pencil? That's up to you 🤭) on the bandits who dared to cross her not once, but twice.
(Part one) (Part three) (Part four) (Part five)
Ohoho.... I absolutely love this, dear Anon, and I'm hoping you'll love my spin on this as well!! Although I have to admit that I gave it a bit of a mellow end, instead of the "John Wick" type of ending, mainly because I found it more fitting with what I was going for... but anyhow, thank you so much for this request, I was definitely looking forward to it, hehe!!<33
Content: Some gore, Near character death, mentions of near fatal injuries/wounds, blood, mentions of grief/child loss, Reader snapping, violence, assassination attempts, Reader is referred to as "Mother", heavy angst, hurt/comfort, kind of a good ending for once?, stitches
Reader uses she/her pronouns here!!
((Not proofread))
The last one standing had crimson palms. (Arlecchino x Fem!Reader)
"I... I wish to..." "Shh... not another word, child... don't you dare say it." Your hands were stained red once more, pressing down on another gashing, deep wound, sweat running down your forehead as everyone around you attempted to stop the bleeding. You didn't want him to see what had become of him, one hand resting over his teary eyes to stop your heart from shattering any further. You wished she was here, your dearest wife, who had to choose this week of all the others to leave the country for a short business trip.
And today was supposed to be a good day. One filled with the laughter of children and the smell of grilled sausages and steaks coming from the garden. You were trying to have a little festival together to celebrate the start of warmer months. But the atmosphere had now become suffocating with the smell of sharp iron and sweat instead, the gentle warmth now scorching hot, exhausting, and grinding you down to the bone. However, you couldn't let go of him now. You couldn't let him die. You refused to give up on him, especially. You refused to let him become another buried angel.
His hand pressed against yours weakly, his breaths deep, pathetic gasps for air, as he tried telling you something important through broken cries. "Mother... Mother, please, you have to listen to me." He coughed out, blood staining his lips, as his other hand reached out blindly to grasp onto the fabric of your once white sundress. You furrowed your brows against the darkness of the room, light only filtering in through the moon outside and the shaky hands of Lynette trying to keep a lantern steady so her twin could keep patching his younger brother up.
"What is it, Freminet?" You indulged him, trying to keep him awake at all costs. His voice was hoarse, raspy, once silky blonde hair now sticking to his forehead as he gulped dryly to collect his thoughts.
"They are coming for us, mother... and you are next."
Lyney gave you a look, one filled with an undefined emotion he only ever had when it came to your protection. If you didn't know better, you would've been terrified at how similar he was becoming to his father. "Those assassins we encountered during our mission, Mother... they weren't ordinary ones, to say the least." He muttered to you, his mind replaying the moment one of them struck his brother, who was just trying to protect them out of pure instinct. He was brave, despite the shyness he often portrayed.
"How so?" You wiped away the sweat on your forehead, nose wrinkling when another member of the house handed you a medkit before they disappeared into the shadows again. "They... knew us by name. Every single one of us. And then-" You waved over Lynette to stand in your place whilst her twin spoke, so you could unpack the needed supplies for the upcoming "operation" you had to conduct on your son. You've become a near professional over the years. Something else you didn't choose to do nor want to be.
"-They uttered your name. We... believe that they are trying to weaken Father. And you are that weakness they are seeking, Mother.-" "-They've come to finish the job. We... we need to evacuate everyone.. we need to hide her.-" Lynette hushed Freminet quickly, as she pressed some cloth into his mouth. With a glance downwards to his wound, she determined that it would definitely hurt horribly to stitch him up... but he'd live. For the first time in weeks, someone would live. She closed her eyes to hide those tears that threatened to spill in relief.
You stared at the three of them for a moment before you simply proceeded with placing the first few stitches into the boy's wound wordlessly. He writhed in pain, his fingernails digging into the mattress below whilst his screams and cries were muffled by the cloth. Lyney and Lynette were trying to hold him down, their bodies wincing involuntarily at every sharp breath or movement from their brother. Your expression was meanwhile unreadable, hands moving automatically until you cut the string and were done with your little procedure. It's as if your mind completely fazed out, only driven by the need to fix and protect, keep everyone alive no matter what.
"Lyney." The young man hesitantly met your gaze, his body shaking when his brother fell limply into the bed again, his breathing heavy and uneven. "Evacuate everyone into the upper floors and then come back to watch over Freminet." You said, quick to wipe your hands with a nearby towel nearly coldly, but Lyney knew that look in your eyes. You were sick of it and would take it all into your own hands if your wife couldn't. "Mother, you can't just-" "-Lynette, use the backdoor and let this bird free." You tapped the golden cage on the nightstand with your fingers, the little sparrow chirping curiously. It was a messenger bird, one specifically designed to catch your wife's attention and bring her home instantly when things got out of control.
But you weren't using it for it's purpose tonight. No, everything was completely under control here... you just needed her to come back home to stop you once you're done.
"Mother-" A sharp look made him quickly reconsider what he was about to say, a hand pressing against his chest whilst he bowed. "... we're on it." Lyney muttered, signaling Lynette to love with him, which she did after grabbing the bird cage. Their paths split at the stairs, the girl practically descending them two steps at a time, which got the attention of their fellow bretheren immideatly. "Everyone! Get into the attic or your rooms at once! Mother's orders, so get moving! Barricade your doors and don't open them up to anyone! This is an absolute emergency!" Everyone jumped when they heard the usually playful magicians voice bark out orders harshly, automatically getting the job done as everyone filed up the stairs to do as he said.
Lyney pushed through the crowd to continue looking for stray children who may not have heard him. His heart was racing against his ribcage, sweat dripping off his forehead he could only barely wipe off with a handkerchief he accidentally dropped when someone bumped into him. But your orders were clear in his mind and kept him steady. He knew that he and most, if not all, other kids of the house could take care of themselves just fine... but this was something beyond their means. Something usually only Father got to handle.
By the time he finally got back to his brothers room, you had left it behind, nowhere to be found, and yet the injured boy had a simple blanket covering his shivering form now, dressed in clean clothes and resting on perfectly white bedsheets. Lyney waited by the door, his hand gripping the handle tightly, as he listened to his sisters familiar steps running towards him. He let her in, eyes glancing around the dim hallway one more time before he tipped his hat down and shut the wooden entrance again.
The only sound heard for a moment after was the chirping of a bird in the dead of night until deafening silence filtered in once more.
---
The house of Hearth was never still and unmoving, not even in the darkest parts of the day. The late hours were the busiest, filled with agents and children alike walking in and out of it's doors under the cover of shadows to complete their given tasks and missions. The iron, bloody scent left behind by their previous endeavors, their hushed words to eachother as they passed by, the movement of paper being hidden under floorboards, some given to you with proud looks for approval, as you stayed up with them until the first rays of the sun danced in your eyes... it was never calm, never quiet. Yet the intruders didn't question it. They didn't even think twice to enter the house, the open birdcage. They mistook the silence and stillness for safety.
The first assasin stepped in through the picked lock of a backdoor entrance, his cautious eyes trying to catch any looming danger that may cause them trouble. Yet with nothing in sight, he waved over the rest of his three little friends right into your humble home. "Okay, you know the plan... kill as many of those little rats as you can." "And what about the Mother?" One of them asked, his hair clumsily hidden under a makeshift hood, a dirty grin on his lips in anticipation.
"Can I get rid of her? It won't be much of a struggle, I'm sure. She's just a measly housewife anyway." "Heard she's a pretty thing, though." A round of chuckles filled the kitchen before the first shrugged. "Do what you want. We just have to be done by dawn... let's split up in two groups, then. Just in case." The men agreed, one group making their way upwards, whilst the other searched the ground floors.
The darkness was inviting, the silence emitting a false sense of safety that made the intruders let their guards down, unaware of your form slinking after them. You were calm and collected, eyes dull, the dim moonlight not catching in them anymore. A mother's rage was a dangerous, unpredictable one. Filled with the need to make those who hurt her children suffer, she'd advance even through the most perilous paths for the sake of glory, revenge.
Unbeknownst to anyone, you had put two and two together a long time ago. These intruders, who belonged to a foreign enemy faction, were the cause of many of your children's deaths. They were the reason as to why you had to hear them cry out that odd wish so often. They had dared to enter your territory tonight to take away the rest of the family you had worked so hard for to have. You worked so hard to be a good mother. You bled, you cried, you slaughtered your way here. You became a "mother" one could be proud of. And on this fateful night, you'd prove your worth and pride to even Celestia above you with their screams that will reach far and wide. Your hand gripped a silver dagger, one originally gifted to you by your wife, as you blew out a lantern in one of the hallways, plunging everyone into further darkness that was far from warm.
It was ice cold.
---
"Wait outside." Arlecchino gave the Fatui agents a sharp, warning look, her clawed fingers tight around the Scythe as she entered the still, quiet building she called home. Her eyes glanced around carefully, noting immideatly that the danger that lurked in the dark was familiar. The bird on her shoulder chirped, reminding her of why she had come here in the first place. The meeting she had was cut short by it flying through the window, the call for help loud and clear. She had simply walked out then, her priority always having been you and the house, although it still made her wonder why exactly everything seemed so... unusually silent. Did Lyney and the other children deal with the threat already? If so... where were you?
Her keen ears picked up movement in the living room nearby, which made her calmly make her way over to it's entrance. With a raise of a brow, she stopped when she stepped into a puddle of blood. It seems like her suspicions were partially correct... althkugh who it was that took care of the intruders certainly came as a surprise.
"... You came." Your voice made the tension in her shoulders cease, eyes flickering to your form seated infront of the fireplace. The orange light cascaded across the dark room, the four mangled bodies laying at the bottom of your favorite lavish loveseat being a testament to your victory, and yet you remained still as a statue, back turned to her to observe the flames instead.
"You called." Arlecchino replied after taking in the situation, the sound of her heeled shoe echoing off the walls, as she approached you carefully. Her clawed hand grabbed onto your shoulder, head tilting to look at the side of your head. Your eyes were cold, not even the scorching warmth of the fire melting them. You were unreadable, hands bloody, and yet still so tightly gripping onto the dagger like your life depended on it. And despite that, you were still breathtaking to the woman.
"Are... you alright, my dove?" She asked, a genuine tone in her voice that was only ever reserved for you. The tears in your eyes burned when you finally looked up at her with a pained expression. You weren't like her. You couldn't just kill and be as proud as you hoped to be. You raised your hands towards her, bloody palms raised towards the gods the way they often were when you pleaded for help and forgiveness for the death of your children. You didn't need to say anything anymore, as she pressed a hand to your cheek with an acknowledging nod.
She wasn't good at comfort, nor did she ever try to be. A father didn't comfort his children in her eyes. No, a father simply led them to glory, and that's it. But that didn't mean that she was a bad wife, too. She sat down next to you, uncaring of the bloody mess that surrounded you, when she pulled you close to press your foreheads together. It was a way to silently show her support. She was there for you and understood you.
"I was scared... they hurt Freminet, and I couldn't fathom losing the rest-" "-I know. Thank you for your bravery, my dove. I'll take it from here." Her words were curt and short, and most would perhaps chalk it up to indifference. But when she held you close like this, gently rubbed your back and promised to take care of you only she knew how to, you found yourself being lulled back into the familiar comfort you were so used to. You knew that despite everything that happened, however, she could still not promise that this would never happen again. Your hands will always be stained crimson for as long as you were a Mother. There was no going back. There was no leaving the house.
But... you both were stuck in it together forever, weren't you?
Alrightttt... this took a while to finish, mainly due to work and me being sick again. But yeah, thank you again for the request, Anon, and I hope you liked this!!<33
#genshin impact#genshin impact fanfic#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin arlecchino x reader#genshin arlecchino#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x you#arlecchino#arlechinno genshin#genshin
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Diamond Buried in the Dirt
He felt his lips purse on their own when your aura swarmed the room. He felt his spine strain slightly, his arms and legs flinching at the feeling of you approaching his home of worship. He knew something was different, even when you weren't in the room. He could feel your spirit and mind connecting with his own as if they already knew each other.
His lips parted slightly when you entered, eyes fixated on your form only. But even with all of these emotions and feelings you caused him to feel, you seemed to not feel the energy in the slightest. Were you just that powerful? He watched you sigh, displeased as you walk up to where he laid. Your walk was a sign of power, even with the slump in your shoulders, face aligned with the ground. From what he could see, he could make out your beauty, a sight to behold. Why were you here? What brought you here? How come he has never met you before? He couldn't tell you that you didn't need to kneel on the dirty carpet the other monkeys did the same on, his voice unresponsive and seemingly disconnected with his mind.
You slowly placed your knees on the ground, tucking your feet underneath your butt and sitting. Your hands rested on your thighs as you finally spoke up. "Geto-sama." His followers were silent, smiling and ignorant. It was easier to ignore then and to single you out from the rest of them, especially when you sounded like this. Felt like this.
"I have a confession to make," You blink a few times to gather the courage to speak some more. Years of suffering, years of being called delusional and crazy. How are you supposed to admit it all to some random man who probably doesn't know what you're talking about? Something pulled you to him, though. You could feel his energy, you could see his aura. Maybe there was a hope that he was similar to you? That he could actually help you?
"I've been seeing things.....strange things." You sigh quietly. "Since I was a small child, monsters have been cursing my vision. Everywhere I go, almost every single day, I am...disturbed with their presence." You finally look up at him. He sees your humility, your emotions and fear in your eyes. Your energy almost seems to wrap around his throat, making it hard for him to breathe as you continue.
"I feel as if i am a beacon, because I continue to attract these monsters wherever I run. They talk to me, try to hurt me sometimes. I see them hurt others and I tried to get rid of them, but it never ends. No one believes me when I say they're on their shoulders or when it kills them slowly. They always find a way back to me. No matter how much I try to hide my presence and my- my...." You raise your hands to show what you hope he can see. Your cursed energy surrounds your being, and he knows that you can see his, the way your eyes watch the outline of his body that it lingers around. "I don't know anything. I don't know if I'm fucking crazy, if there's a name for it, if you can see it, or if there are anymore like me. I just," You pause and shake your head, looking around at the still people surrounding you. "I just wanted to know if I could ever have a chance at a normal life. And be free......because I am so....so alone."
"An angel like you doesn't deserve the suffering and pain you have gone through." His lips almost seemed to move on his own and he watches your face switch to one of confusion. "You are so much more divine and ethereal than you believe." Geto feels excitement rush through his veins at the thought of another person he could finally connect with on a personal level. Someone pure to set his mind and even his planned new world free. One where he could have someone like you on his side. By his side. He sees a future in your eyes that makes him more determined than ever to have you in his arms. There is so much for you to know and learn. And when he teaches you everything you need to know, he knows you'll be everything he's ever wanted. Now standing, he holds his hand out. The look in his eyes as he stares down at you makes you believe that this guy is either the real deal or he is the biggest scam you've ever put your money into.
You thought he was reaching out his hand for you to grab and you almost reached out yourself, but then you see energy from all throughout the room collect itself into the palm of his hand in a way that was similar to how you manifest your energy sometimes. The realization makes your heart jump and you leap to your feet at the sight. Geto smiles brightly at you. "You are not alone." A large weight that you didn't know was on your heart lifts and you feel your body lighten like never before. He was just like you. He was just like you! You crack a small smile and step back.
"I didn't know it was possible." Geto stops his manipulation technique and steps closer to you. "It's all possible with a blessing like ours." You felt a little awkward when he first grabbed your hand, but a surge of his energy almost seemed to transfer to you and you gasped, pulling it back. "It's okay, it's okay. Just a little playful is all." It almost seemed to linger under your skin and it made your stomach bubble with happiness. "Is there......is there more of us?"
He gestures to behind his curtains. "I have an entire family waiting for me when this is all over. They'd be thrilled to know that there's going to be an addition to the family. There isn't much of us here, but-" "Wait, addition to the family?"
Geto takes another step closer to you, wanting to close the gap. "Of course. An extremely small percentage of shamans are living in this world. There isn't much of us out there and I am willing to go to extreme lengths to create a better world for us who aren't seen and heard. And in order for that to happen, we need people like you on our side. I know it's hard to think about and I apologize profusely for throwing this onto you, but you are needed just like the rest of us."
He could tell he was losing you when he said that. Shit, was he moving too fast? All he wanted was to get to know you better. Maybe it would be better to do this gradually over time. But if he tried to take things slow, who knows when someone else could snatch this opportunity away from him? He needs you to join him and be on his side. Be in his family. His wife. You were perfect for everything he desired.
"I have an entire life outside of....what you're hinting at. I can't just....throw my life away, Geto-sama." And I barely know you, you wanted to add. You took a step back, which made him step forward. "Yes, I understand. Maybe I was being too straightfoward. Maybe you can set up another appointment with me and we can talk about it more in depth if you have more time in the future, if you would like?" His face was calm, but his body language made it seem like he was desperate. You had to think about this from a different perspective.
There is an entire world that you didn't know about. You tried living normally amongst other people, but you were actually a "shaman" who had the ability to get rid of monsters and could see and attract monsters. You assumed if there was a certain percentage of these types of people in the world, there would also be good and bad ones. What was Geto's motive? You actually didn't want to know. He wants you in his "family", found out your potential, has a room full of regular people as his followers and acts as if he's a monk? What does he do with people that aren't "shamans"? Everything about his set up was weird and made you scrunch your knows when you realize what you possibly had gotten yourself into.
You were staring at him. Your stare was stone cold and made his face twist from a fake smile into almost genuine restraint and confusion. Suddenly, you were gone. Space and time continued where you left off and you appeared back home. Geto was left in the room to understand that you had teleported away. When he realized you left, he felt his anger rise. He wouldn't allow you to forget him. He wouldn't allow you to slip out of his fingers either. He needed you and he needed your strength and legacy to continue where he left off if there would ever be a time that that would happen. He would find you if it meant killing all of the dirty roaches that infested this city and will pick you from your safe space to be in his arms. He deserves everything he's ever wanted, and if it's you, then he'll get you.
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