#I'm super normal about National Treasure

[mytardisisparked]

Look, all I’m saying is that they really just don’t make movies like National Treasure anymore. Like this movie is about two dudes in a van who beat a team of highly trained criminals to stealing a valuable document from a high-security museum, by sheer accident get an antiques expert to come along with them to keep the document safe, get involved in several major chase scenes, escape the FBI twice, find a massive treasure, get someone else arrested for their crimes, and then give the treasure back to museums before yeeting out to do it all over again in the sequel. No one was doing it like them. And the thing is, by all accounts, this plot is ridiculous and the dialogue is ridiculous but it works unbelievably well because the writers and actors committed to the bit. This movie is campy and absurd and it’s also one of the most fun and quotable movies of my early childhood because the creators embraced the camp and did it with such a sincerity that it’s a goshdarn delight to watch. Top all of that off with a soundtrack that went WAY harder than it really needed to, excellent atmosphere throughout the whole film, and visuals that were darn near perfect and National Treasure becomes a classic. I’ve been chasing the high I got the first time I watched it my whole life. What a movie.

[owlobservation]

Itoshi Sae Profile from Egoist Bible Vol.2 (2024)

"Only the idiots who can keep up will get to see what comes next."

Team: Japan U-20 National Team

Position: Offensive Midfielder (OMF)

Weapons: World class kicking accuracy, world class technique, world class tactical vision, and world class physical ability.

Birthdate: October 10th.

Age: 18 (Third year high school)

Zodiac sign: Libra.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, himself, younger brother.

Height: 180 cm.

Foot size: 26.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Previous team before he returned to Japan: Re Ale Youth FC.

Dominant foot: Left.

Favorite Soccer Player: Álvaro Recoba. "The left-footed player who creates a rainbow on the pitch."*

Age started playing soccer: 1 years old. "Before I knew it, I was already playing soccer."

Nickname: Treasure of Japan.

Strengths: Being able to see things objectively. "I'm often told that I'm a dry person but who cares."

Weaknesses: I don't know anything except about soccer. "Don't live like this, you guys."

Favorite food: Salted kombucha. "Because I can return back to zero."**

Disliked food: French fries. "It's so delicious that I could die, but it's also so unhealthy that I could die."

Best rice accompaniment: Salted kelp. "They don't have it in Spain so I got it sent from my parents' home."

Hobby: Analyzing data of soccer players and teams. "It's nice to see things visualized as numbers."

Favorite season: The end of summer. "I feel like the whole world has become lonely."

Favorite show: Chibi Maruko-chan. "It reminds me of my parents' home."

Favorite music: Suisei by Tofubeats feat. Seira Kariya. "I listen it to cool down."

Favorite movie: Taxi Driver. "This De Niro guy is the coolest."

Favorite manga: Gegege no Kitaro.

Character color: Azuki Red.

Favorite animal: Seagull. "I like migratory birds that don't stay in one place."

Favorite brands: All the brands that sponsor me. "They have good eyes for betting on me."

Best subjects: No idea because I didn't really pay attention in class and only focused on soccer. "I've never seen my report card."

Fetish: Butt. "You can tell an athlete's ability by the shape of their butt."

What makes you happy: A play beyond my imagination.

What makes you sad: Being forced to carry the weight of Japanese soccer on my shoulders. "Yes, I'm talking about you guys."

The first time someone confessed to you: I don't even remember which one was the first time, dumbass.

Last year's valentine day chocolates: Around 2.000. "My manager told me."

Sleep time: 8 hours. (7 hours+1 hour nap)

Where do you wash first in the bath?: Bangs' hairline.

Mushroom or Bamboo shoots?: Depending on the mood.

What made you cry recently?: Why would I tell you, idiot.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 10 years old.***

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: My undiscovered talent.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Give the world's best striker the world's best pass.

What would you do if you received 100 million yen?: I'm not interested. It's just a small change.

What do you do on your days off?: Gazing at the sea.

What would you be doing if you hadn’t discovered soccer?: Living a normal, happy life. Maybe my personality wouldn't have turned out like this.

Who is your favorite historical figure?: Copernicus. He was the man who overturned the world’s common knowledge.

If you could only bring one thing to a deserted island, what would it be?: No need. I’d live the way I wanted without any rules.

Where would you go if you had a time machine, to the past or the future?: Not interested in either. I have no pointless expectations or regrets for my future or my past. Just live in the moment. You guys are so tepid. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

World-class Offensive Midfielder With Boundless Parameters

Aiming to become the best midfielder in the world, Sae is a super player with the complete package of mind, technique, and physique. Isagi’s best play which he pulled off with “reflex” was stopped with just a light tackle. He killed The Direct Shot flawlessly, showing the big difference between the two.****

He’s Only Interested In Blue Lock! The One He Chose Was Shidou?

Sae was only interested in Blue Lock and paid no attention to his younger brother Rin or the U-20 Japan National Team. The world he sees and the place he aims for are clearly different from those of the U-20 National Team. Sae chose Shidou from Blue Lock as his teammate. With a series of super plays, they managed to corner Blue Lock.

The reason for Sae's sudden change... What on earth happened in Spain!?

Sae went to Spain and promised his younger brother Rin that he’d become “The Best Striker In The World”. However, when he returned home four years later, his attitude had changed completely . He declared that he would become “The Best Midfielder In The World” instead and pushed Rin away, calling him "tepid".*****

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sae's Ranking on "Best 3 of Everything: Players seriously voted each!"

1. Ranked #1 The Best at Crossing (Centering)

Hiori’s commentary: "Well, all of Itoshi Sae’s kicks are perfectly designed. I admire him."

2. Ranked #2 The Most Likely To Succeed As Coach

3. Ranked #1 Who Doesn't Cry Easily

Aryu’s commentary: "If Itoshi Sae were to cry, it would be when he became the world’s best. That would be the moment of ultimate styl."******

4. Ranked #1 The Least Family-oriented person

Isagi’s commentary: "If you look at those two, you would assume so. But if they really hate each other… It means that they also think about each other."

5. Ranked #2 The Most Likely To Thrive In The Sengoku Period

6. Ranked #2 The Most Leader-like (or has the qualities of a leader)

7. Ranked #3 Longest Eyelashes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*Álvaro Recoba (El Chino) is a midfielder from Uruguay known for his "rainbow-like" curved kicks.

**Return back to zero=being refreshed.

***In early 2021 twitter Q&A, he said he stopped getting Christmas presents when Rin stopped believing in Santa. His answer is revised in Egoist Bible to just "10 years old."

****The original sentence is “...a super player who possesses everything– mind, technique and physique (心技体)”. 心技体 or Shingitai refers to the three qualities an athlete must have: 心 is heart/mind, 技 is technique/skill, 体 is body/physique/strength. It is said that an athlete needs 3 of them to succeed. If they only have the right mind and skills but not the body to support them… well you’ll know what will happen!  So from our understanding Shingitai is an ‘inseparable set’. We translated it as a “complete package” to let you know that those 3 qualities are inseparable!

*****Here the word used is 突き放す (tsukihanasu). Tsukihanasu is 'to push away', to push someone (or something) away and make them leave. It can also refer to an attitude of  treating someone without love, sympathy, or emotions. Please check my notes on Rin’s profile page, because there is a connection!

******What Aryu originally said isファ イナリーオシャ final osha. "The moment where Itoshi Sae finally cried would be the moment of ultimate/final styl.” is most likely what he meant! We personally think ‘ultimate styl’ had more feel than ‘final styl’ (?), that’s why we went with ultimate osha!

Check Sae's profile from the first volume of Egoist Bible here!

[ask-dark-monita]

You people voted, and Happy Ending has won the vote!

Good Ending part 1

After the heroes were finished fighting off Rex, Broly, and Sephiroth, Neptune would have turned back to normal just in time.

"I may have struggled trying to defeat you last time, but I've been training for years now and strong enough to finally put you in your place! Stay gone, Broly! DRAGON FIST!!!!"

Goku's dragon fist goes through Broly's chest as a huge golden dragon engulfs the Legendary Super Saiyan, destroying him for good!

Modern Notori & Classic Notori both used holy chains firing from the palms of their hands to wrap around the defeated Rex Stenton to prevent him from escaping.

"I'm not letting you harass mini me ever again! This time, you're not going back to the treasure chest! Cuz I'm gonna make sure you won't ever exist! Dig on THIS!"

They both threw Rex up in the air with the chains around him as the two Notoris joined together with bright holy auras to launch themselves toward the villain and penetrate him similar to Kid Goku with Piccolo. Just like Broly, Rex would explode and is no more!

"That was so awesome! I can't believe we finally defeated Rex this early!"

"Hey, I'm just glad that you now get to live a happy childhood with Cloud instead of Rex trying to trap him in some pocket dimension for some reason. Not like that would ever happen though."

As for Cloud after defeating Sephiroth...

"Stay dead. Never come back. Remain unhappy. Cry about it even."

"Okay... Can someone please explain what the Nep is going on?!"

Purple Sister reverts to Nepgear.

"A magic Anon turned you into an evil skeleton... Not only that but while you were a skeleton, you murdered Histoire, committed acts of terrorism on all of the nations, and caused Planeptune to collapse with zero shares."

"But regardless... Histoire got brought back to life by the Mario Bros... I'm just so glad that you're finally back, sis..."

Nepgear hugs Neptune.

"Oh my Stars! That is absolutely terrible! I really hope the others will forgive me because all of that was not my fault if the evil skeleton side mind controlled my way of thinking!"

@hoshinomulti

@hxroic-wxlls-rxborn

@divinityunleashed

@smashingveteransandnewcomers

@mizumeism

@sephirisms

@kazeofthemagun

[thefangirltreehouse]

spider-man two, thoughts (spoilers below).

this is literally just spit-balling

harry as venom isn't a plot i hate. the way insomniac likes to craft their stories primarily around the emotional baggage of established relationships that peter (and miles) has. fighting for and against your terminally ill best friend with pretty bleak execution results is far more interesting to me than fighting a character who's no more than a missable footnote in the original game. harry as venom isn't something i'm gunning for in the comics but it works for insomniac.

i'm so glad that insomniac really leaned into peter and mj's dynamic and it was nice to see her as more than just the doting girlfriend.

i mean, darin de paul is just a national treasure. in what world does the man that plays ardyn izunia play triple-j.

speaking of final fantasy xv, king regis you bitch! how dare you stab peter. i cannot believe we have two caelum's in one spider-man game.

i'm so happy they integrated hailey into the main supporting cast (also playable?!) but when did she find out about miles?

mj i get, but i feel peter moved on far too quickly from the fact he nearly killed his girlfriend. and on that note, literally just stands and watches the scream transformation. i know they're trying to keep it together considering peter's experience with the symbiote but like, i would've been pissed at harry.

rio and miles dancing at the gala was the most adorable thing. (especially as someone who grew up with a single-mum).

they literally don't explain how venom gets his name

"show them your manhood!" / "yes sir - wait, what?!"

young peter's look just confirms disney / marvel wanted the face change to represent the mcu because that is literally tom holland's face.

i actually didn't think yuri's performance could get any better, it did especially once peter has the symbiote off.

the music during the venom fight with peter at midtown is incredible.

i obviously knew he wasn't going to die but i legit cried when pete got stabbed.

i understand insomniac really want you to use the symbiote suit but peter's lower-level unlocked suits are low-key hot garbage. even as someone who doesn't mind the militarized, tech suits the choices were so mid. i didn't get the suit i really wanted until after i bet the story. i ended up using the raimi suit which i never used in the original game as i don't like that suit but it was the only normal looking suit that wasn't native to insomniac as i don't like their peter suits.

miles' were better but a lot of them seemed to blend together. his endgame suit is actually my favourite (but with the red, purple and blue ombre lining - which i'm annoyed i couldn't even use the swatch in the finale).

had quite a handful of restarts and crashes in 23hrs play-time.

kinda wish we could've seen young!mj with peter and harry.

miles telling harry that he doesn't care if he's peter's best friend, he's still going to kick his ass was great.

i feel like the plot beats for this game overall were kinda predictable in that kraven was the early game bad guy, pete gets the symbiote suit from harry, harry takes it back and becomes venom all with the end result of norman being pissed at spider-man(s) for harry's probably bad outcome. that said, i genuinely have no guesses for structure of the next one and i doubt they're going to make harry a 'villain' again.

i don't think they'll use carnage in dlc, especially when yuri said it might take "years" to track him down, but i also don't know if he'll be enough for the finale as it might - at least gameplay and conceptually - feel like a venom rehash.

this just me on a tangent so feel free to skip. based on what i said, as someone not super familiar with carnage outside of specific media, the problem i have with him in relation to venom is the same problem i have with 'the batman who laughs' it makes the former feel less threating in direct comparison (which will happen when you cut to carnage after immediately having venom as a main antagonist one game prior), especially when venom is brock rather than peter as the host, because there's internal conflict with peter (which can be argued with tbwl's to some extent). carnage, in basic terms is bat-shit venom with zero redeeming qualities and i worry that for a medium like this he will feel derivative. the joker and the venom shouldn't feel less dangerous, especially now that it feels like venom has taken on anti-hero and carnage has become what venom was. like what happened in cruella. disney tried to make cruella likable, so emma stone basically played 'disney: harley quinn' and emma thompson played cruella.

this is oddly specific but i feel laura bailey is like the only woman in gaming that goes for the scream. and i always watch these games (cyberpunk in particular) and i'm like "girl scream, let out that guttural scream because i know that's exactly what's i'd be doing in that situation because this shit is terrifying." the only other time i've properly seen it done was also by laura bailey when she played fetch.

i actually don't know if we'll get another in-between game because i feel like the "play as miles'" itch has been scratched. meaning there's no need to fill that void as until his spin-off we couldn't play as him, now we can.

but if we do, could potentially see a silk, miles team-up to take down carnage.

mj's stealth missions are terrifying. her section under the tunnel with peter should’ve been longer

gutted there's no ng+ yet.

my bisexual queen is thriving.

getting the spider-bots was really the only fun thing to collect.

we’ll probably see gwen in the next game.

the sheer amount of detail on felicia's face

i can’t not hear wally in any of jason spisak’s roles.

“i don’t know what it is, but i just love this spider-bot.” - peter (about the spider-girl spider-bot)

vulture, electro and shocker really didn’t need to be killed completely off-screen. but i feel like they might’ve lost their rating if they weren’t. it’s just a bit strange that nobody noticed, especially pete that multiple high-profile raft inmates went missing?

people are being weird as fuck about cindy and peter. the girl is clearly a minor.

i booted up the first game to replay it, yeah. i still don’t like peter’s new face.

felt like there was half an act missing. could’ve done with one more agent venom mission, perhaps they can’t save vulture or electro. kinda felt like they needed a ‘he really is taking them out one by one.’

could’ve done with venom’s arc being a little longer.

miles’ arc was incredible and i loved watching him team-up with mj.

the black suit with the blue and red highlights from the nineties cartoon?!

speaking of, mj’s outfit during the zoo mission is also a call back

reed richards is defo getting a cameo in the next game and maybe tony on a phone call. i’d also love a nudge-nudge side-quest for deadpool.

i know it’s an emotional scene but i spat out my drink when i saw they changed the pic of harry from the old game to his new design in peter’s garage.

“i think we should get them” the line delivery on that is immaculate, like thank you captain obvious.

i’ve had a bit to linger on this but, there’s a bit of a disconnect between harry wanting the suit and getting it back. i think there had to be just a bit more push with peter specifically. i get he’s a nice guy but we needed to see a bit more passive aggressive harry brewing in the desperation for the symbiote.

watching a playthrough i realised venom got his name from oscorp / dr. connors as there’s a container with the name “vnm” when peter turns connors human again.

i don't want a venom spin-off and it feels like the only people who do want it is to take venom for an hour's joy-ride (until the gimmick wears off) or eddie brock stans that feel jilted by insomniac. i'd much rather get straight to the finale because i don't want to have to buy a playstation six just because some randomers want an eddie simulator first.

chameleon is absolutely going to be dlc.

how did mj get her motorbike back from the tunnel?

predictions for the next game:

electro isn't dead, primarily due to the fact that max may have became pure energy to escape kraven.

cindy, miles and black cat team-up mission.

may is hinted at towards the end of the game.

madame webb is getting something.

if carnage is in the third game and not two's dlc, he'll be the opening act villain (pseudo-kraven).

they'll tease hobgoblin - harry or not. (i could genuinely see harry becoming hobgoblin to help take down otto and green goblin, if it's norman).

peter might die, but i doubt it.

if harry dies, it'll be half-way through the game. i will actually kill myself tho.

i low-key want spot to be in the game or dlc but i don't think they'll do that purely because of spider-verse but you can tell a lot of insomniac grew-up on the nineties show, so it might be a possibility. (most of my knowledge for spider lore exists in that show and the various film franchises because the only spider comics i own is one 'noir' trade and a handful of 'the superior foes of spider-man'.)

i mean, they also could have miles go after spot, which could be fun.

HOLY FUCK! WAIT! HARRY AS GREEN GOBLIN COULD BE AN HOMAGE ARC TO MARY JANE IN LIMBO BUT EVEN MORE ANGSTY CAUSE THAT SERUM IS DEFO GONNA MAKE HARRY PSYCHO - I ACTUALLY NEED TO SEE IT BECAUSE THAT EPISODE IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY CORE MEMORIES.

the delivery of “i think we should get him” is immaculate

someone mentioned this on tvtropes, but stark industries bankrolling f.e.a.s.t is not a bad idea.

fisk will probably be back in side mission capacity or dlc.

[holmesandyoyofanblog]

2021 Interview with John Schuck

I found an interview with John Schuck dated Aug. 9, 2021 on "Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast". I transcribed the parts related to "Holmes & Yoyo" below, but can listen to the whole interview at this link:

1:07:41

Gilbert Gottfried: Now-- Now we can't be nice to you any longer.

Frank Santopadre: Uh-oh.

GG: Talk to us about "Holmes and Yoyo".

FS: Also created by Leonard Stern!

John Schuck: Created by Leonard Stern… Well, it wasn't… [laughs] I must say…

[GG and FS laugh]

JS: All right guys, it was a crap show. Come on…

[GG and FS laugh]

JS: It was well-intended. It was an-- It was an attempt by Leonard to get back to two-man comedy like Abbott and Costello.

FS: Mm-hmm.

JS: I mean, you name your duo. Of course, it never turned out to be that. But several interesting things happened. The craftspeople that could make something funny no longer existed in Hollywood. For instance, if you wanted to take a phone and water squirt and some guy pours water in at one end it comes out and hits them-- the other guy in the face-- those gags, they didn't know how to recreate.

FS: How interesting.

JS: Um, we had a-- a radio that was supp-- I forget what it was. Um, and I remembered that it was-- it couldn't-- it couldn't do that-- there were a number of things… I'm-- I'm babbling here… um, maybe that was one of the problems with the show. But, we worked hard at it. John Astin directed most of them. We re-- we did a lot of naughty things. We rewrote, uh, Richard Shull, a wonderful actor, um, and an interesting man. Uh, we worked 18, 19-hour days for that show, and it just was definitely a dud. Interestingly enough, the previews for it were shown on ABC during the Super Bowl, and so, for our first night, we had the highest-rated show [chuckles] of the year!

[GG laughs]

FS: Oh, interesting!

JS: An-- And it went quickly down.

[GG laughs]

JS: I mean, by today's standards, with so many s-- We-- We went down like from a 22 to 16, you know.

FS: I always thought of it as Leonard trying to take Dick Gautier's Hymie the Robot from "Get Smart" and spin it off into-- into his own series.

JS: Uh yeah… no?…

FS: Although, you had th-- "The Six Million Dollar Man" and "The Bionic Man--

JS: no

FS: Uh, "Woman" were going strong at that time, so--

JS: That's right.

FS: You could understand the thinking.

JS: I also think we made a-- and here I had my-- my argument with Leonard.

[clearing throat]

JS: In the pilot… uh, there's an accident and I'm-- I fall apart on the street and, as a result, Dick Shull knows that I'm a robot. And I said that should never have happened. He shouldn't know that I'm, uh, a robot that way there's much more conflict about why can't I act like normal people and blah, blah, blah and all that kind of stuff. But, um, it-- it was what it was, and we did our 18 shows and… uh, I did have the honor that year, though, with it of being the first actor to be on two tele-- national television series on two different Networks.

FS: There you go! Oh, "McMillan & Wife" and "Holmes & Yoyo".

JS: Right.

FS: Very good. You know, we joke about it because it's easy to-- it's easy to poke fun at-- at-- at-- shows--

JS: I joke about it.

FS: Yeah, of course!

[GG laughs]

FS: But you-- you have to applaud Stern for trying to bring back that kind of classic comedy form to prime time.

JS: Yeah. And you know, we never made a pilot for it. [clears throat] Uh, Jackie Cooper directed the-- we had a-- a scene and Jackie Cooper directed it, and we went up into Sid Sheinberg's office and moved all his furniture away, and Dick and I did the scene. And on the basis of that performance, he-- he let the show go on the air. So, we never made a pilot which was unusual.

FS: Why did the r-- Why did the android have a Russian name?

[laugh]

FS: Why was he Yo…yo…

JS: Gregor Yoyonovich?

FS: Yoyonovich.

[GG laughs]

FS: Why wasn't he just "Yoyo"?

JS: I dunno. They couldn't find a Scandinavian one?

[laughter]

[projector starting up sound effect]

[The "Holmes & Yoyo" opening credits play.]

[Polaroid ejecting sound. Brass music sting]

Capt. Sedford: You've got four partners in the hospital! Come on, Alex! You're a good cop!

Alex: By the way, who's my new partner?

[Sounds of Polaroid ejection, typing, and typewriting bell]

Narrator Paraphrasing Dr. Babcock: We call him Yoyo. He weighs 427 pounds. He's a completely mobile computer specially programmed for police work.

Capt. Sedford: Is he indestructible?

Narrator: We think so.

Capt. Sedford: Send in Holmes.

[peppy funk theme music]

Narrator: This is top secret. No one, including Holmes, must know his identity.

Yoyo: Alex, no! Don't!

Alex: You're not a person!

Yoyo: You're not going to tell them?

Alex: In my book, you got the makings of a good cop. That's what I put in my report.

[music]

[laughter]

FS: One episode was directed by, uh, Jack Arnold. I don't know if--

JS: Yes.

FS: --you'd remember this, Gilbert, the director of "Creature from the Black Lagoon", "Incredible Shrinking Man", and "Tarantula".

1:51:28

FS: By the way, Richard Shull-- I was talking to John, by the way, who, uh, who starred with Richard Shull in "Holmes & Yoyo"-- By the way, you worked with Richard Shull and Richard Stahl.

JS: Yep.

FS: But possibly not Richard Schaal--

JS: No.

FS: --who was married to Valerie Harper…

JS: To Valerie, yeah.

FS: Okay, okay but there you go. But he told me, what? He was a throwback who drove a car from the '40s? Richard-- Richard Shull?

JS: He-- He and his wife, Marilyn, lived in the '40s.

[FS laughs. GG laughs.]

JS: They bought u-- all their clothes from the '40s. It's-- it's various stores. He would write only with a-- a fountain pen. He had a 1940 Chevy or something. A Buick or Chevy. He had-- He was a railroad aficionado, and he owned his own railroad car.

FS: Wow!

JS: And for the opening gift, uh, because he knew of my affection for, as a kid, of-- of taking the train from Buffalo, New York to New York-- to New Jersey to see my grandparents, and I had remarked on the-- on this doeskin type, uh, blankets that they used to have, he gave me one of those blankets numbered so you could find out where it came from. Which compartment on which-- which train.

FS: That's cool.

JS: Very thoughtful, but he was-- he was eccentric. And their-- their house was all, um, from the '40s. All their furniture. Everything.

FS: He was like a-- sort of a-- a-- a-- a curmudgeonly actor. A little bit like a Matthau.

JS: Yes.

FS: In some ways.

JS: Yes, he had this wonderful, unusual, mobile rubbery face, and, uh, very distinctive and--

FS: Loved him!

JS: Um, he was doing a Neil Simon play, went home between shows in New York, and never c-- you know, the break, never came back.

FS: Oh.

GG: Ohh.

JS: It was a bit of a shock. I hate to end this on such a downer but…

FS: All right then, sing us a little more from "Annie".

[talesofsonicasura]

Broken Toys

Chapter 1: Bleed, I must be dreaming

Tragedy can give rise to many things. Rumors, change, legends than just suffering and heartbreak. One such creation had very bizarre habits in the eyes of a particular noodle shop owner. Warning: minor blood, slightly description of death and injuries, extraction of harmful object(goes with the minor blood), mild swearing, and one super creepy child. Prologue

'The Great Megapolis Raceway Disaster. On April 7, 20XX, an semi-annual street race had their route improperly marked and blockaded. As a result, the racers end up turning down a street full of people instead of an empty road.

The result was all 12 cars crashing into various buildings and bystanders as they tried to come to a halt. 30 injured with 7 being the drivers and 25 dead as 10 victims had succumbed to their fatal injuries. Strangely, 10 year old Qi Xiaotion, a child who was hit directly by the lead racer's car, body has subsequently vanished.

Police haven't found the missing child or any possibility he could be alive except for the remains of a Monkey King Plush and what is assumed to be the child's right arm and lower torso. Search is ongoing and any future updates are unknown.'

This national incident was widespread throughout the community of Megapolis for two reasons. One was that some of the victims had been either high up or related to powerful corporations throughout the city. A few of the casualties were rumored to be descendants of both well known demons and even some celestials such as the Yellow Wind Demon but also rumored Jade Emperor for some of his soldiers were said to be seen in the city.

Some speculated this was a planned terrorist threat but no evidence had been found. The second reason is the creation of an urban legend known as the Broken Toy Phantom. On that very day, the body of a 10 year old child had gone missing. After that, sightings of a strange entity began to crop up.

Witnesses said it looked like a child but had cotton coming from open stitches and sharp blades out of their skin. Whenever the Broken Toy Phantom was spotted, the chance of a large monster in the form of a destroyed children's toy would be there. It is said that if you meant no harm should you encounter this phantom, it would leave you alone.

To try and harm the phantom was met with the claws of the broken toys that protected the child. Only warning one had if they were in the presence of the Broken Toy Phantom is the vague image of a monkey plush that held glowing red eyes.

Pigsy's Noodles

It was a warm early morning for the city of Megapolis. The last dredges of Spring were slowly dwindling as Summer was almost here. A time of year for the popular restaurant Pigsy's Noodles to begin changing their menu in preparation for the hottest season.

This modest establishment known for its delicious noodles, homely and comfortable atmosphere was also a precious treasure to the owner. A pig demon nearing his 40s named Pigsy, this short and stout man was not only the store's owner but also the cook.

Every dish he made was handcrafted with strong dedication and passionate based skill that could be felt through every bite. So imagine the 5'2 tall pink skinned and dark blue eyed demon's face when he went to open up his shop for today. Lying at the front by the side of the door was a child.

A young boy probably around 10 years old who sat around 3'7 in height. Long wild dark brown that haven't seem to be washed in days, soft tan skin with a large stitch under his right eye alongside some on his arms from the man could see, an orange shirt with violet sleeves and red collar that were stitched on, black pants with the bottom half blue jean material that were also stitched on, violet sandals made from leather, polyester and felt fabric sewn together, and the creepiest doll he ever seen cuddled in the boy's arms.

It looked like one of those very rare limited edition Monkey King collectible plushies that his friend had been ranting on about. The only difference was the gold thread eyes were replaced with bulging white plastic eyes and the flat face instead had a large openable muzzle bearing large white felt teeth.

Despite laying on solid concrete, the young boy was comfortably fast asleep almost if used to doing such a thing. A bit confused and worried, Pigsy placed his keys in the breast pocket of his white polo shirt then walked up to the child. For a second, he thought the toy's bulging eyes went from looking at the ground and by proxy his black dress shoes and black work pants to stare the pig demon straight in the face.

Whatever the case, it didn't matter as the child began to wake up. Chocolate brown eyes looking straight at Pigsy, a look of nervous embarrassment came across the boy's face. "Heh heh… Looks like I overslept a bit." In seconds the child had jumped to his feet faster than any normal person could.

The nameless boy clutched the ominous Monkey King plush closer and put on a nervous smile. "Sorry about that sir. I'll get out of your hands now so you can open up shop without an issue." And before Pigsy could say anything, the child skipped away into an alley just as quickly.

The restaurant owner could only frown before heading into the shop. Homeless people weren't anything new, especially in a big city like this, but it stung more when a child is forced to survive on the harsh streets. All Pigsy could do at the moment was wish the young man good luck.

Next time the middle aged pig demon saw the mysterious kid was once again by his restaurant. It was nearly closing time when the bell of the shop's door rang. The establishment isn't anything grand, a few booths, stools set up at the front near the register, some potted plants and pastel white walls decorated with a couple photos.

Pigsy had poked his head from the back of the door to see that very kid walk in warily. Once again, he felt the eyes of the kid's plush looking straight at him. The restaurant owner had a feeling the doll was magical as the kid spotted him in seconds.

"Hello there. Welcome to Pigsy's Noodles. Please sit down and I can get you a menu." Pigsy put on a soft smile since he really didn't want to scare off the poor kid. The unknown boy nodded before sitting himself at one of the bar's stools.

When the restaurant owner had come back with a menu in hand, the kid's Monkey King plush was sitting on the table almost perfectly. By perfectly it meant that the doll didn't slouch and sat straight with the same dexterity of a living being.

Pigsy shrugged the oddness off and gave the kid his menu. "How are you doing today?" The restaurant owner's question had the boy look a bit from his menu. Shrugging at the inquiry, the child answered. "I'm doing fine. May I have a bowl of chicken lo mein please?"

Pigsy didn't take the menu just yet but had gone to the back to fix the boy's food. As he made the order, the demon could hear his customer talk from outside the kitchen. Or sing to be more accurate. "An old toy sat on the desk watching the day go by. Missing cotton, tons of stitches, a cherished plaything looked to the sky. The toy said: I may be damaged but I am beloved. Even broken toys like me can be loved."

The restaurant owner paused for a moment. He never heard a nursery rhyme like that before. It was strange but in an endearing sort of way. Pigsy had come back with the kid's bowl of lo mein to see the child was shuffling a deck of cards in his hand.

The man didn't recognize the brand or had a good chance to look when the boy had placed them in a deck case and deposited it into a sewed-in pocket. "One fresh bowl of chicken lo mein, enjoy kid." Rubbing his hands happily, the child grabbed a pair of chopsticks and dug into his food.

Pigsy cleaned up the remaining dishes while his young customer ate his food in silence. Once the demon had come back, the child and plush were suddenly gone. Not even the doorbell had moved an inch almost if the boy just vanished. In his place was some money alongside a note.

"Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. Have a good night and sorry for sleeping in front of your shop the other day. From MK and my little buddy Guarn." After reading the note, the restaurant owner had softly smiled before taking both the paper and cash left behind.

It was the only beginning of a MK's nightly visits. Near closing time, Pigsy was greeted by the child and his peculiar plush. At first, the boy wasn't much of a conversationalist. Something worrying since most kids the pig demon saw weren't this quiet even around strangers.

MK was also never without his plush Guarn. Pigsy had a suspicion that the plush was magical as he always felt that those plastic eyes were very aware of their surroundings. Whenever the restaurant owner felt like the doll was watching him out of the boy's view, MK seemed to know his presence. Almost like a separate pair of eyes.

He didn't know the child's situation other than homelessness and maybe magical plush but he had a feeling there was more to it. MK will open up when he is ready and Pigsy was a patient person. The demon did add some extra portions to the young man's bowl though.

A growing child needed proper nutrition or their growth would be stunted. He may be rough but the restaurant owner was far from heartless. In less than two weeks, MK began to open up more. That was the same time one of his regulars had also come back.

This 'customer' was one of his human friends known as Tang. A raven haired man who considered himself a scholar of sorts, and didn't really pay for the noodles he kept eating. Normally Pigsy would chase any dine and dashers out of his establishment but Tang was someone he could trust.

The scholar had gotten him out of some nasty jams in the past and someone he could talk to whenever the demon's stress reached its peak. Now you can imagine Pigsy's surprise when he saw Tang chatting animatedly with MK. The child who rarely talked was now chatting the spectacle raven's ear off.

Once again, the feeling of the Monkey King plush or Guarn came apparent as the child faced the restaurant owner with a sheepish grin. "Hey Pigsy, I didn't know you had a kid." That one sentence from Tang had both the demon and kid sputtering in seconds.

Between the two of them, MK had found his words. "No Mr Tang. Mr Pigsy is just a very nice man who gives me extra food when he thinks I haven't noticed. Plus, I'm pretty sure he hasn't filed any adoption papers yet." MK said, that sheepish grin becoming mischievous as he made Guarn blow a kiss.

The scholar laughed at the restaurant owner's further flustering face almost if the whole thing was planned. Something that was plausible considering this was Tang of all people. "Very funny you little minxes. What were you guys even talking about since MK doesn't really talk much around me?"

Pigsy's question was met with the little boy shaking his head. "I didn't want to bother you since you were probably tired and closing up shop. Mr Tang and I were talking about different legends like the Monkey King for one." The pig demon blinked his eyes in surprise.

So the reason MK was so quiet is because the kid didn't want to bother him? How considerate. "I appreciate your concern but you don't have to be silent all the time. Whatever topic or thing that pops in your head, you can talk about it. Might not always answer but that doesn't mean I'm not listening." Pigsy explained, the child nodding thankfully at his words.

That was one mystery about the kid out of the way. Only for Tang to bring up another. "Do you know that little MK here is an incredible craftsman? Show him that design you were working on." Smiling, the kid pulled something out of his pockets.

It was an incomplete small red tapestry depicting a peach tree that sat above a collection of clouds. The restaurant owner could only gawk at the masterful detail and skill that could easily be seen throughout the work. Every detail was as accurate as a photograph and not a single thread out of place.

"Holy moly kid! You made this?! I'm pretty sure you just put every seamstress from the Celestial Realm to shame." MK beamed happily at the restaurant owner's compliment. The kid was definitely a hard worker and that showed through his craft.

Even though culinary and weaving were different crafts, Pigsy could see the hard work, skill and dedication of a fellow artisan. "Thank you! I also make clothing and toys in my spare time. A good way to earn money so I can enjoy more of your tasty food."

From seeing the tapestry alone, both adults had a feeling that MK's clothing and dolls were made with equal skill. It did raise a question though. "Is your outfit like a fashion statement then?" Tang gestured to the boy's patchwork clothing.

Pigsy hit the scholar on the elbow for the offhanded inquiry but the child didn't seem bothered. "It actually is. You see I make all my stuff from mostly scraps rather than fresh materials. 'One man's trash is another man's treasure' type of ideology. Also recycles a lot of stuff people throw away that can still be used." MK flashed them a big toothy smile alongside his explanation.

Both men hummed at the answer. Like any big city, Megapolis had an issue with littering so the place was practically a gold mine for crafty people such as the kid. "Let me take your guys' order, and MK… you don't have to come by so late all the time. Come whenever you can and if anyone gives you a problem then I'll handle it."

Pigsy could only smile at the ecstatic look in the kid's eyes before the child ran over to both men. After that particular night, MK began visiting sometimes around mid day. On occasion, the boy would bring some of the crafts that he made.

Beautiful red ribbons decorated with gold dragons, a jade green cheongsam that held a silver depiction of a nine tailed fox, some plushies consisting of a gray rat with a heart in its paws, an ornate doll that wore a beautiful crimson Chinese dress and a white rabbit with a mallet used to make moon cakes.

Every piece was extremely well made alongside a story that MK would share with Pigsy or Tang. The rat plush beared the story of a fallen rat who was given a chance to relive their last day, the ribbons were of two dragons that strive to be with each other for eternity, and cheongsam was for a prince who escaped the life of royalty to live with a earnest farmhand that won his heart.

It only made both adults wonder how a talented kind child like MK ended up living on the streets by their lonesome. On a warm summer night, Pigsy was cleaning the front of the shop. The little boy wanted to help out around the restaurant so the demon let him wash the dirty dishes. Tang was also in the shop regalling a particular urban legend around Megapolis: the Broken Toy Phantom.

"-the Broken Toy Phantom must be a type of poltergeist. A very rare occurrence that poltergeists would roam with their haunted possession but the information all leads up. I even speculate that the phantom could have been brought to life after the Great Megapolis Raceway Disaster." Pigsy kept quiet while cleaning the tables but listened to the scholar's theory tangent.

The restaurant door suddenly opened with a loud slam, the restaurant owner turned around to be met with a gun aimed at his head. Pigsy didn't have to look to know that Tang had his hands up in the air since the scholar was now silent. Of course the pig demon needed a robbery once in his life.

From the looks of it, there were only three armed robbers with two being men and one woman. A white deer mask, black ski mask, and a turban paired alongside a thick bandana hid their identities. Right now Pigsy was praying to Guanyin that they don't find MK.

The kid wouldn't be able to survive a bullet should these bastards get trigger happy. "Alright, you two fuckers better listen to our demands right now. Give us everything you own and Porky here can open the register." Spoke the deer masked robber, poking the barrel of the gun to the restaurant owner's back.

Reluctantly Pigsy walked over to the register and took out the key. He was about to open up when… BANG! Horrified blue eyes watched as Tang fell to his knees, blood pouring from a bullet hole in his leg. The pig demon saw Tang's phone on the ground before the turban wearing robber stomped it to pieces.

"Call for help again then the next shot will go through your head, Four Eyes." Spoke the black ski mask who cocked his gun to reinforce the threat. Pigsy wanted to run over to Tang, treat his wound or help him up. However, he couldn't unless both of them were looking to get shot.

And the two hostages felt their hearts drop upon one single sound. "Excuse me." Standing on top of the bar table was little MK. Strangely, Guarn wasn't in the kid's hands as both were crossed against his chest. A large frown and judging chocolate eyes of the unnaturally calm child were aimed at the three robbers.

"What are you doing to Mr Tang and Mr Pigsy?" MK's once kind lively voice was now dead and cold like a grave. Neither the scholar or restaurant owner couldn't help feeling unnerved at the sudden change in the kid. It felt so wrong. Something that none of the robbers had noticed.

"It's a robbery little dipshit!" A haunting laugh came out of the kid, MK's eyes were alight in a twisted glee paired alongside a malevolent smile presenting unnaturally sharp teeth. "I know what a robbery is, you sad excuse of human scum. What I'm asking is why none of you haven't left yet?"

All three of the criminals were caught off guard by the little boy's taunt. None of them felt the child's ominous aura unlike Pigsy and Tang. What stood before them wasn't the same little boy that they've gotten to know over the past two months.

This was Death in the form of a 10 year old kid. "You barely have any mercy from me after this whore shot my friend in the leg. Lucky you that I was in a good mood, leave now or suffer the consequences. Know that you only have one chance between all three of ya cowardly worms!"

Offended by MK's threat, one of the robbers, the turban-wearing woman, aimed her weapon at the child. "Say goodnight brat! You have no power over us! That petty threat will be your last!" Finger on the trigger as she was ready to shoot the boy.

MK, still unfazed, shook his head almost if he was disappointed at the woman's choice. Then his smile grew so wide that it nearly tore the sides of his mouth, an insane look burned in now orangish brown orbs. "I warned ya. Davy Jones." With no warning, two long violet tentacles shot out from the darkness behind MK.

Both appendages wrapped around the woman and the man who shot Tang as the third deer mask robber watched in growing horror at what stood before them. Standing behind the 10 year old with two of the robbers wrapped in thick violet tentacles was a giant 15 ft violet plush squid.

It's squid capped head had four of those cap ridges with red stripes but also three mini tomahawk blades on the center top, black squid eyes that positioned on the sides of the mouth which held sharp teeth and a pair of glowing magenta eyes within the darkness, six small light cyan underside violet tentacle bearing some tomahawk blades, and two triple sized tentacles that had a black armband bearing a white skull n bones on the larger right.

"YARRRG! Those who dare trifle with Captain MK shall face the blades of Davy Jones!" A gruff, lightly deep, and growlish male voice ripped the monstrous toy's open mouth. Both caught robbers let out a strangled cry from the tentacles tightening their grip.

Immediately the remaining robber quickly went to shoot the monster plush or MK only for his weapon to be snatched from his hand's grip. Deer mask slowly looked down at the floor to see his gun in the paws of a particular bug eyed Monkey King plush.

Tang, Pigsy and the robbers saw a pair of glowing red eyes stare at them from within the small toy's mouth. Guarn then bit into the barrel of the weapon, felt teeth easily tearing through the metal and plastic like a hot knife against butter.

The immense shock nearly made the scholar and restaurant owner almost miss MK delivering a jump kick to the deer masked robber. Enough strength behind the blow to not only shatter the robber's mask but knock em fully unconscious. Davy Jones tightened his grip further until the two snared robbers fell limp like their comrade.

Pigsy immediately ran over to Tang once knowing they were now safe. The little boy followed suit, his ominous aura gone while the large plush kraken harshly dropped the two robbers. "Mr Tang, please bite on this while I get the bullet out." MK handed the raven a red plush oven cloth.

Pigsy had to put the rag in the scholar's mouth as he was too busy staring in shock at MK's fingers. The index and ring fingers of the boy's hands were torn apart by black claws growing from inside. Tang let out a harsh muffled scream when those sharp obsidian claws dug into the wound.

After a few seconds, MK pulled out the bloody bullet. He dropped it to the ground so he could pull out a sewing kit and needle. "I'm guessing you're the Broken Toy Phantom." Pigsy spoke for Tang while the boy began to sew the wound close. The little brunette merely nodded as he thread the needle through the scholar's leg.

"Yep! Although I'm not really a poltergeist, just a newly minted toy demon. Didn't think I had to bring out any of my Frightfur family so soon. Honestly, I hope that I had more time to figure out how to introduce you guys." MK tore the thread off the needle once it was sewn tightly.

Neither adult said a word since the kid did have a point. A giant plush kraken bearing razor sharp teeth and tentacles that ended with large tomahawks wasn't exactly friendly looking. Or the implications that MK had more than one of these peculiar beings.

Both men's thoughts on the subject were derailed in surprise when the sewed up bullet wound shrunk until unmarred skin was left. "Healing Suture Thread, perfect for minor to serious injuries. It works on humans too rather than just Frightfurs, Fluffals or Edge Imps." The little boy turned to see Davy Jones finish tying up the three attempted robbers.

Guarn waddled over to the brunette, climbing up the kid's clothes then situated itself on MK's shoulder. Tang took the rag out of his mouth and suddenly hugged the toy demon much to the latter's surprise. "We're just glad you're okay. You gave us both a heart attack back there with that stunt."

Davy Jones let out a hearty laugh from the flustered look on his smaller companion's face. Pigsy couldn't help the chuckle that came out of his throat to the little boy's further surprise. Soon enough, MK found himself laughing with them as he hugged the scholar back.

If this was a dream, then he didn't want to wake up. Moments like this should last as long as they can.

And that's it! MK has officially met Pigsy and Tang. I can say that the MK you are seeing at the moment...is more than he seems to be. Something that will be looked over in the next chapter.

Tang and Pigsy are going to take more fatherly roles involving our newly minted toy demon. A factor being MK's age and situation when they first met.

MK will be 21 when I get into the LMK series and there will be changes to particular episodes or plot pilots. Any major changes will have the episode title be replaced with a song.

Now people have been wondering MK's actual age in canon out of general curiosity and a certain pairing called Peachnoodles for certain artists and writers have been frowned upon. The driving law in China requires the person to be 19 in order to legally drive, so MK has to be 19 or a bit older in canon.

I hope this clears stuff up for ya curious folk.

The song used for this chapter is 'Bleed, I must be Dreaming' by Evanescence. Actually thought of using Evanescence's Imaginary but this felt more suited.

Will be going over the remaining Fluffals before we reach the next chapter for Broken Toys! Stove Novas next chapter is in the review stage so be on the lookout for that next! I'll see you guys back at Megapolis.

Song used👇

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[rotzaprachim]

Oh man as an aspie who clung onto the idea of autistic Nicky as soon as I watched the film, I'm super interested in knowing what people think his special interests are- I personally hc that he acquires a new one every century or so and sometimes that dictates where he and Joe travel

ohhhh ok time for my quarantine comfort hobby which is projecting upon fictional side characters in action movies! i think some of the big things for me about special interests is that they can be literally everything, and can also last for years or fade quickly! so some things that come too me off the top of my head, and although i totally think they all have a massive array of skills they’ve picked up over the years, i totally think Nicky is the one who is constantly pulling upexpected hobbies + skills out of his back pocket like ah yes. here is a perfectly executed lariat technique from 1800′s Sonora and here’s how to fix the wiring in a radio and write in mid 20th century secretarial shorthand at some point he picked up an incredibly amount of information about rare tree frogs of nicaragua and suminagashi, neither of which even Joe knew about. 

but anyway. some key Interests vaguely in order of CHronology 

- sailing + ocean stuff (also thanks to @captainshakespear !!! for a lot of the ideas on this one) 

i am a big believer in sailor Nicky! not an expert on medieval Genova or anything, but with my preferred background of him as being from a more modest background (not everyone in history was a royal, y’all) i think it’s quite likely his family earned their trade this way (or by fishing?). (might actually write a fic as sometimes i think it’s uh easier to write out characters thought processes than describe them but anyway) i have a real soft spot for Nico the kiddo who spent hours silently watching the sea either from the shoreline or his father’s fishingboat and who even if he had to be called by his mother three times for dinner and had a hard time focusing on conversations, understood the language of sails and ropes and knots from an early age 

- related to that- tying seaman’s knots 

- not to phrase this strangely but. religion 

there’s actually a lot of complexity to talk about with autistic people and religion/religious observance that i haven’t seen talked about much but! many thoughts on the this i might also expand upon later. Nicky eventually became a priest, even! 

but i do think that in the clamor and chaos of a medieval port city the ritualism and structure of religion would have been deeply comforting. the extremely set structure or a catholic mass, which quickly becomes the only time of the week where he’ll already know almost all of the words, and the feeling of wrapping his fingers around the rosary beads and counting through the decades. his mother’s been doing her best to raise all her children in the Faith, but she sees how fervantly her youngest actually remembers his prayers and sticks to them at the same time ever day on his own and is a little surprised. 

also like, lives of the saints! which are often exceedingly odd and strange, but Nico was like eh they’re Saints right they’re good this is a Normal THing to be Interested in and then lists off all the ways a few of the interesting ones were martyred over dinner. 

(but also in all of this he was definitely. a seven year old constantly questioning if God was real or not or could ever be kind when there were so many bad things in the world.) (we love projection.) and also a seven year old deeply interested in death and what happened afterwards. all things die. 

more to discuss later when i’m not about to fall asleep but! I think these interests lasted into his immortal life and long past the battlefield, especially as he starts to learn more and more about everyone the society and expression of faith in his first life taught him to hate. there definitely needs to be.. subtlety here, and he never intrudes on any closed traditions/is always respectful, but over the centuries he studies many, many holy texts and traditions from around the world, by himself and with Yusuf and also in various kinds of institutions and houses of learning. a LOT of religious text and discussion is surprisingly technical stuff about the practicalities of daily life or finer points of theologic debates as much as it is, like, the Big Picture, and also the finer point and big picture questions can be deeply related. anyway. 

- medicine

for all that there are a lot of autistic characters who are scientists, i rarely see one who’s a doctor/medical researcher and has that connected to their empathy and desire to heal others? but i very very much think Nicky has been a medic/involved in medicine and medical research since shortly after his first death and his centuries in the medieval Islamicate world with Yusuf, and has watched the way medicine has developed over the centuries, and is really fascinated by things like biochemistry and kept really studious logs of it all.  

- music esp guitar + folk music

also pretty fun to think about with so much of the history of stringed instruments linking to cross cultural trade around the mediterranean + Islamicate worlds, love the idea that Nicky has always kind of liked folk songs and music but has learned over time a number of varieties of stringed instruments starting with the oud, with his favorite being the guitarra batente and Hawaiian steel guitar with the slack-key playing style. sometimes he sings but a lot of his appreciation for music and stringed instruments especially is about the emotions that can be expressed without any words at all! 

- miscellanous other things 

the parts of a sniper rifle + shooting techniques, various kinds of sniper rifle scopes, buying + haggling for the best quality kinds of art supplies for yusuf, cooking, he reallllly doesn’t understand digital anything or the internet but he does like the elegance of electrical wiring and circuits, actually reads all the manuals that come with appliances for the interest value and is the one who wires safehouses to be off the grid and is just like. very good at odd household jobs + fixing things (which Joe finds unspeakably hot), he accidentally ended up as a star batter on a minor league baseball team at some point in the 1920′s and has an incredibly knowledge of baseball scores and runnings since even tho it’s literally one of like two sports who’s rules he understands and can focus on for more than five minutes (the other sport is the irish national treasure hurling), aforementioned nicaraguan tree frogs, in the last couple decades has gotten really concerned about biodiversity loss and the importance of protecting genetic diversity of species and crops, the large scale data of public health crises + antibiotic resistance, which he gives copley a long talk on basically the first time he speaks to him at all and which has copley pulling out a red sharpie and scribbling how massively he’s misjudged Nicolo di Genova, over the last few hundred years he’s become super concerned about medical + bioethics and the various technologies involved in that, stained glass window symbolism, angry birds and cooking 

[lordjenjen-does-discourse]

I feel like the way some people talk about Kenny is super sex negative? Like, obviously I don't like when people portray Kenny as a homewrecking asshole. But some people's headcanons about Kenny kinda feel like they're saying, "Oh, my pwecious Kenny isn't one of those nasty people who have and enjoy sex! uwu". Like, I imagine Kenny just has a lot of love in his heart, and flirting and sleeping around is how he shares that love. Being sexually open shouldn't be seen as a bad thing.

I got this and was going answer it drunk yesterday, but ended up not getting shit faced because I still have a tiny bit of social life left.

There's so much for me to unpack here!

First off let's unpack Kenny. Because Kenny is my favorite character and honestly says a lot about me.

Kenny is a caring person. You see this reflected in how he treats his sister Karen. You see this in him comforting Butters in Hawaii. You see this in his self sacrifices between being Mysterion and saving everyone from hell on Earth. You see a lot of his kindness through actions.

Kenny is also a sexual person. Beyond just the normal little boy stuff of showing your friends porn, he also had a blow job in the TGI Fridays parking lot and died from it. He gets high and is sent to Nippopolis. His heaven is titties. He goes to the Amazon because he has a crush on a girl. He seduces people with his own titties. Kenny does not shy away from sex.

There is obviously more to Kenny, he's athletic, flirts with gender nonconformity, has an addiction problem, great singer. Just like any charater in South Park, his characterisation is complex and can't be narrowed down to one or two aspects.

The second thing to unpack, and a huge opinion of mine, you can totally tell how someone treats sex by how they treat Kenny.

We just established that Kenny does not shy away from such, so if you are one to treat him like he is a "uwu pure boy does no dirty," then you probably think sex is wrong and dirty. If it's because he's 10, I'd like to invite you to my 10 year old experience where I learned about sex through porn. I'd invite you to talk to any kid from 9-13 and see how much they know about it. Most of their knowledge comes from porn, which just raises a bigger issue laying within purist culture about withholding any form of sex education from children.

If you're one to view Kenny as a huge slut but in like a negative way (homewrecker, 10 different baby mama's, walking STD) then maybe you should take a step back and think on why. I feel like people who see him this way are focusing a lot on how he's also poor. The opinion comes a lot from society and how they view such people. Even writing him as a sex worker, people tend to take a negative view on such actions.

I am in no way saying you can't write him as a homeless man, sucking dick for drug money. I'm not saying you can't write him as a homewrecker or a dad to a dozen kids, I'm just saying if that's the only way you see him, maybe take a step back and reflect on why this is the only outcome you can see for him. If it's because you hate Kenny, fuck you. Send me who you are so I can block your negativity from my life. Kenny is a national treasure!

However, I am saying, if you see Kenny as a "uwu precious baby boy who would never even think about icky lady bits," you need to take a step back and analyse your life. You need to seriously think if this is even the show and fandom for you.

And lastly, since you didn't ask for it, I'm going to give you my Kenny. Because I totally imagine Kenny as being loving and caring with a high ass libido. Nothing is off the table. Willing to try anything once. He has some cautions when it would effect someone he loves, but not so much when it's his own life. I like to write about Kenny beating the system but just barely. He can afford to eat, but still has to live on a tight budget. Has a hard time finding someone who can put up with his sexcapades, and doesn't leave when he dies. Maybe he lives with friends or a partner. Maybe he lives alone and hopes his apartment is still there when he comes back.

God I love my boy Kenny.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk

[ktliterary]

What I'm Looking For: Aida Z. Lilly

I’m excited to be open to queries for speculative fiction in upper middle grade, YA, and adult; in YA and upper MG contemporary, I am exclusively looking for stories from LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, and other marginalized groups; graphic novels for upper middle grade, YA, and adult from author-illustrators with a unique story; fresh, modern, and original contemporary adult fiction that fits in with my wishlist; and narrative non-fiction (but no true crime).

Across all genres, the writing, voice, and characters have to hook me and make me feel something. I want stories about the good, bad, and ugly of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I’m also interested in cults, the occult, mental health, and magic. I’m looking for the kind-of-weird and completely amazing! Good writing is the most important aspect for me. I love great ideas, but I really need the execution of those ideas to be brilliant. I want to be drawn in within the first few pages, and I’m okay with not having all the answers (at first anyway). I want to read the story only you can tell. I want to accidentally learn things only you can teach me.

I love all things speculative—well, except horror (touches of it in other spec fiction are fine though). What really catches my eye is SFF with real issues tackled in thought-provoking ways, like Grossman’s MAGICIANS series (and show). This shouldn’t be super shocking since I grew up loving the ANIMORPHS series. I like a big, diverse cast with love in their hearts and problems in their lives. Even though these kids had to save the world, they still dealt with familial strife, romantic problems, the failings of adults, and the emotions that accompanied the war and the “normal” lives they had to lead. So give me ANIMORPHS for adults with even more diversity.

On that note, I want feminist projects (especially where feminism is unexpected) and books written by and about people from marginalized communities. As a first-gen Middle Eastern American, I enjoy hearing other people’s immigration tales. If you have written the next KIM’S CONVENIENCE, EMAIL ME RIGHT THIS SECOND BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I want ALLLLLLL the queer SFF please! There is so little of it, and it is so needed!

I like mythology (especially when it’s written as beautifully as Madeline Miller does it), music (Juliet, Naked and Daisy Jones & The Six are some of my faves), unreliable narrators, multiple viewpoints, stories that take place at college/grad school, flawed characters, a sense of humor, friendships (complicated ones, too), L.A. stories, tales of NYC, puzzles (think more Dan Brown, less National Treasure), and the atmosphere of Carnivàle, Darren Shan’s CIRQUE DU FREAK, Euphoria, and New Orleans. Magic and superheroes are some of my favorite things, especially when those characters act in a very human way and have very human problems (The Boys, Hancock, Super Ex-Girlfriend). I love a good origin story (even if I’ve seen Peter Parker have three of them onscreen…)

My taste veers from AMERICAN PSYCHO to HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE (and lots in between). Engage me enough to make me laugh AND cry. Give me humor and heart (like Handler’s LIFE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME); give me a character like Dr. Cox from Scrubs or someone Gordon Ramsay-esque, who secretly has a soft center. Conversely, I also want ALL THE DARKNESS. Because while I love the cuteness of Detective Pikachu, I also live for authors like Leïla Slimani, Bret Easton Ellis and Chuck Palahniuk, who capture the ugly sides of human nature in sharp, acerbic light. I won’t shy away from your THREE WOMEN, TWEAK, EDUCATED, or MY DARK VANESSA.

Shows and movies I love: ALL THINGS STUDIO GHIBLI, Kim’s Convenience, Pose, American Horror Story: Coven, The L Word (both), Big Love, Fresh off the Boat (the book and show), Guardians of the Galaxy (and the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe), Supernatural, Lost, Modern Family, anything Mindy Kaling touches (books and shows), Workin’ Moms, Abrams’s Star Trek reboot, The Affair, South Park, Dexter (the books and show), Broad City, The Last Man on Earth (I nearly cried when they canceled this), Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Crash, What Dreams May Come, Interview with the Vampire, Queen of the Damned, Death Note, Straight Outta Compton, Monsters University, The Sopranos, How to Get Away with Murder, Stepbrothers, Zoolander, The Boondocks, Little Nemo, Selena, Shin Chan, Rent, Sweeney Todd, Dope, The Halloween Tree (the book and the movie), The Office, American Housewife, For Colored Girls, LotR, Mad Men, Mystery Men, Sons of Anarchy, Fringe, The King of Queens, Cloverfield, Super 8, Blade Runner 2049, Good Will Hunting, Adventure Time, Detective Pikachu, Good Boys

Books and authors I love: The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell (and his standup), Mira Jacob, Daisy Jones and the Six, There There, Eat a Peach, Convenience Store Woman, Double Cup Love, Tweak: Growing up on Methamphetamines, Born a Crime (and Noah’s standup), Tranny, The Hate U Give, Warcross duology, Leïla Slimani, Rainbow Rowell, The Heart’s Invisible Furies, The Time Traveler’s Wife, I Am Legend (the movie, too), The Amory Wars (and the music about them), Saga, Deadendia, The Devil Is a Part-Timer, Chuck Palahniuk, Kid Gloves, Zatanna and the House of Secrets, Sing, Unburied, Sing, The Wheel of Time series, Hyperbole and a Half, Bret Easton Ellis, Harry Potter (but not Rowling), Artemis Fowl, Riordan and friends, Life Will Be the Death of Me, The Interestings, Station Eleven, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking up with Me, Hey Kiddo, The New Kid, Furious Thing, Number One Chinese Restaurant, The Girls at 17 Swann Street, Ready Player One (and the movie), Wildwood, Red at the Bone, Juliet, Naked, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, Fun Home, American Housewife, Madeline Miller, Gaiman, Christopher Moore, Haruki Murakami, Patrick Rothfuss, The Goldfinch, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, Kevin Kwan, Dave Eggers, My Dark Vanessa, All of us with Wings, Graveyard Shift, Life of Pi, The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, America for Beginners, The Storyteller’s Secret, Never Let Me Go, Priestdaddy, Educated, Three Women, Augusten Burroughs, Furiously Happy, Okay, Fine, Whatever, Fights: One Boy’s Triumph over Violence, The Usual Suspects (Maurice Broaddus), V.E. Schwab, The Silent Patient, Uprooted, Pierce Brown, The Enderverse, Blake Crouch, The Hunger Games, John Dies at the End

Maybe not the best fit for: Political thriller Gross out Horror (some touches are okay in SFF) Picture books Chapter books Animal protagonists Flowery language in fantasy Very technical or math-heavy sci-fi Historical fiction WW2 or cops or Civil War/antebellum “Inspirational”

What I’m Looking For: Aida Z. Lilly was originally published on kt literary