#I'm still stuck on Julia

[x66r9u]

Thinking

[azrantimes]

My bladder is terrible and I didn't want to miss Confident and listening to I'm Not A Girl in an actual bathroom (with surprisingly great acoustics) wasn't the immersive experience I expected but yknow what hell yeah

[woso-dreamzzz]

Anger

Vicky Losada x Putellas!Reader

Summary: Your phone kept ringing

You frowned as you stared down at your phone.

"What is it, amor?" Your wife asked as she watched you stare.

"Alexia's been calling me," You replied," And then Alba's texted to say not to answer her. Huh...I wonder what's wrong."

"They're probably fighting," Vicky said," You know how they are."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, I do." You bit your lip. "But I'm a little worried. What if something bad has happened?"

"If something bad has happened," Vicky said," Then your Mama would have been the one to call. Come, sit down. The stress isn't good for the baby."

You heeded your wife's advice, taking a seat on the sofa.

Your pregnancy hadn't come as a surprise. You and Vicky had been trying for months now but each time the IVF treatment hadn't stuck until this final try. You hadn't really told anybody, content to keep it private until you got through the first trimester.

But now, as you approached the end of your second and began to show, you and Vicky had been discussing who to tell.

"If it's so bad then I'm sure you'll get another call later," Vicky assured you as you fretted throughout dinner.

"I...I'm just worried. Alexia called me so much and now it's just radio silent."

Vicky stood from her seat at the table and crossed over to you, a hand coming to rub soothing circles on your arm. "It'll be fine, amor. Your sisters probably had an argument they wanted you to finish."

You looked at your phone on last time before nodding. "You're right. Of course you are." You drained your glass of water. "Did you make dessert? The baby's craving something sweet."

Vicky grinned at you, always in sync with you. "Of course she is."

You ended up on the sofa a moment later with a warm dessert and cream. Vicky had you curled up into her side, an arm gently rubbing circles on your bump as she narrated the show to your baby.

You knew it was to be a girl, having been convinced by Vicky to find out the gender so you could plan accordingly. The pair of you were bouncing between name ideas and how to announce the upcoming pregnancy to your friends and family.

The doorbell rang just as Vicky tried to convince you that telling your family would be best if you paired it with a little Barcelona jersey like how your mother had revealed all of her own pregnancies.

"Were we expecting someone?" You asked, leaning your head over the back of the sofa to look at the door.

The bell rang again.

Then somebody thumping on the door.

Vicky sighed deeply. "If it's Julia or Katie coming to bother us, I'm going to kill them."

You laughed. "Well, if they're bringing more food, kill them after. Your baby sure is hungry tonight."

Vicky rolled her eyes even though a smile poked through on her face. She was still looking at you as she swung open the door, which was why she probably didn't realise what was going on until it was too late.

A hand clawed into the fabric of her top and slammed her into the hallway wall.

"Madre mia!" You exclaimed in shock.

Your oldest sister had your wife up against the wall, practically spitting in anger.

The sudden radio silence from Alexia now made sense.

She was still dressed in her Barcelona training shirt.

Clearly she had caught the first plane to England.

"Alexia?!" You demanded," What you doing here?!"

She ignored you in favour of shoving Vicky further into the wall.

"Where do you get off?!" She demanded," Knocking up my sister?! Huh?!"

Vicky, somehow able to wrench her eyes from Alexia, looked at you in disbelief. "You told her?!"

"No!"

"Jenni told me!" Alexia yelled," Don't talk about me like I'm not here!"

You glared at your wife. "You told Jenni?!"

"It was an accident!"

"Which part?! Telling Jenni or knocking up my sister?!"

"Shut up, Alexia!" Both of you yelled.

"How do you accidentally tell Jenni?"

"She asked about you and I told her that you'd been having me get food at stupid o'clock in the morning and she made a joke about you maybe being pregnant. And I just...kind of didn't say anything and she worked it out herself."

You let out a big sigh, rubbing your temples to try and stop the impending headache. "Amor, I know it was an accident but we purposely said we couldn't tell Jenni just yet because she would blab to everyone."

"Well, she did blab to everyone," Alexia said," But me specifically." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you know how embarrassing it is to get a call from my ex-girlfriend congratulating me on becoming an aunt and having no idea about it?! I even had to call Alba to check that she hadn't heard either!"

"Why don't you let go of Vicky," You said," And sit down. We'll explain everything."

"Why can't you explain everything here?"

"Because you look like you're a moment away from killing my wife and I kind of need her around when I get fat and can't move anymore."

It took a few minutes but eventually, Alexia was convinced to sit in the armchair as you and Vicky took up your spots on the sofa again.

"Well? Explain."

"Well-"

"Not you, hemanita," Alexia cut you off, staring daggers at Vicky," I want her to explain."

"Ale, really, this is-"

She held up her finger and you fell silent. You squeezed Vicky's hand.

"We did IVF," Vicky said eventually," And it didn't work and then it did."

"You got my sister pregnant, is what you're saying."

"Well, technically-"

"You knocked up my sister."

Vicky sighed. "Yes. I knocked up your sister."

Alexia was silent for a long moment before she sighed deeply. She rose to her feet and Vicky stood as well, blocking Ale's path to you.

They stood eye to eye.

Alexia shook Vicky's hand, squeezing ever so slightly and leaning forward to whisper," If you dare to make her even cry during this pregnancy, you'll be shipped back to Spain in a matchbox."

Alexia hugged you tightly, laying kisses upon your cheek. She dropped to her knees. "May I?" At your nod, she lifted your top and pressed a kiss to your bump. Your hand came to card through your sister's hair as your wife pressed a kiss to your other hand.

"Hi, baby," Alexia whispered," I'm your Tia Alexia. I probably won't see you a lot but I'll make sure that your mamas bring you back every holiday and we will kick a ball around. And I'll make sure to come to your first games when you get old enough."

"And walk her to her first day at La Masia," You continued with a smile.

Alexia looked up in shock. "Her? La Masia?"

"It's a girl," Vicky said," We found out last week."

"And La Masia?"

"Once the season's up, we're coming back to Spain. My manager is already putting out feelers for clubs."

"We're coming home, Ale. I want the bebita to grow up with you and Alba and Mama and Vicky's family. We can't do that if we're stuck in England all the time."

She surged towards you, one arm around you and the other around Vicky, holding you both tightly against her.

"You're making me a Tia," She said finally," Thank you." She looked at Vicky and wiped away her tears. "Sorry, about earlier. It's just-"

"Your littlest sister is pregnant and you found out through Jenni. I understand. But hey, now that you're here, explain to y/n that the best way to tell your Mama is to get a baby-sized Barca jersey."

[coffin-ramblings]

Ashley is "very not good" and "in fact very bad". That is what the promo card tells us.

The flippant attitude to cannibalism and murder, the abuse and manipulation of Andrew, and constant death threats to Julia prove that, so why do they need to say that? Isn't that enough to prove that she's a bad person? On the same promo, we are told Andrew "exists" and is a "doormat extraordinaire", which while true, is a lot more complicated than it looks. He does not just "exists", he was the one who raised Ashley thus one of her "creators", and he is not that much of (if he ever was) a doormat extraordinaire, he lets Ashley make the choices because it's what he wants, and has asserted power several times throughout the game for his and Ashley's benefit. So is what the promo says about Ashley completely true in light of that? Is the truth perhaps a lot more complicated, as it was with Andrew?

Furthermore, it's quite odd how Ashley is quick to accept being called a "tar soul" and how she implies she's a bad person too when she and Andy buried Nina's body.

And in Decay vision, if she kills Andrew, she goes on a rant about how she's glad he's dead, despite it clearly being the worst thing she has ever experienced.

While it's easy to think that she's having a mental breakdown and saying stuff out of madness, I have seen someone (can't find the post though) argue that this is Ashley's attempt to continue her self-narrative that she is a "bad person". She believes no one likes her because she's a bad person. She thinks not even Andrew likes her, and she "has to" drag him the "good person" to be her level of the "bad person" to keep him stuck with her. And when she kills her brother, her parent, her best friend, her soulmate, her everything, she immediately jumps to the justification that she is glad that he died instead of being devastated that he tried to kill her, because bad people can't feel remorse and heartbreak from having to kill someone they love, right?

And I'm inclined to agree with them. Ashley's thought process of pranking Nina is that she'll have her back as a friend after she learns her "lesson", even though she isn't happy being constantly left out or avoided by her.

She didn't hate Nina then, she was afraid of being even more lonely than before if Nina takes Andrew's attention away from her. And her initial reactions to Nina's death was to go "oops", try to justify why she died, cover it up by burying her, and after she's buried, Ashley says that she can just forget about her by not thinking about her for a long time.

That is not the reaction of someone "bad" reveling in their victory of an innocent person's death and trying to get away with it, that is the reaction of a kid who went through something traumatic, not want to get in trouble for it, and trying to rationalize it with something that sounds like an adult in their life (Renee?) would say. Then their brain triggers dissociative amnesia because remembering it would cause great stress and PTSD. Given how stressful Leyley's life was and still is, it makes sense that's her brain's main coping method, and Nina's death was just another instance of it shunting trauma away in an attempt to keep PTSD from happening. It is likely that amnesia made Ashley quite forgetful, as dissociative amnesia does not affect just one singular event, it also affects other memories as an overprotective measure. This also may be why she develops such a flippant attitude to their crimes: joking about them helps her not have to confront the weight of what they just did. Thus, even that attitude being a marker of her being a "bad person" is more questionable. Really, her actions that have the intent to directly harm people are what her make a bad person, but I digress.

The idea that her flippant attitude is perhaps not a good marker of her being a "bad person" is best shown in Episode 1 after they eat the neighbor. Ashley is made aware that her devil-may-care attitude is quite abnormal and worrying for Andrew, which worries her. If she talks before going to bed, she gets visibly confused and worried at Andrew saying she needs to see a professional.

When he later asks how she's so unbothered by the cannibalism, she replies she says she compartmentalizes nervously, which she then follows up afterwards with a joke to not have to dwell on it.

That specific coping method of compartmentalization is the same thing Andrew's brain does in his dream in Episode 2, where it ends with him having a flashback of burying Nina.

In fact, it's interesting how we never get to see adult Ashley's every day psyche. This is not the same as seeing her thoughts and perspectives in the waking world, nor is it the same as the Burial vision where it's Ashley's self-narrative of her life from childhood to adulthood and how she potentially changes it. We never get to see her dream without it being a vision, a glimpse of what her mind looks like in the present processing her experiences in the every day and the past.

This is particularly crucial because while Nina appears while Andrew's brain is doing its standard compartmentalizing of Andrew's current stresses, the only times Nina appears in Ashley's head (outside of Burial vision) were flashbacks of when she is doing this as a child. While it's framed as the moment when Andrew "proves" his devotion to her, flashbacks similar to PTSD ones can happen alongside dissociative amnesia, and they do occur in dreams. Even though Ashley has forgotten Nina's name and eyes, she is always there, haunting her dreams.

This all suggests that the plot twist of our perceptions of the characters in episode 3 is that when we finally get to play Ashley in her normal dreams or see her mental breakdown (maybe if she kills Andrew?), we find out that she feels some sort of guilt for Nina's death and perhaps their other crimes. Even though she insists to herself she doesn't feel guilt about that because she is a "bad person", it is all a lie that she manages to convince to herself and the audience. This would be very shocking as we're in her head a lot of the time, so we'd assume she can't lie to us. But she has all along, just like how Andrew has to us.

[coff-in]

Can I request a dynamic where the reader is the youngest Graves sibling (like a year younger than Ashley) and is objectively the most "normal" of the siblings (before Ashley and Andrew kind of ruin it)?

She's still clingy with her big brother and sister, but she's also happy to make friends outside of them and actively cares about them a lot. The thing is that Andrew forbids her from dating and Ashley scares off a lot of her friends and when quarantine rolls around she's stuck with two older siblings who are obsessed with her and she's not too sure what to do about it, because her siblings really are all she has left now.

Bonus details, I think it would be fun if her relationship with Andrew is bordering on romantic/he has romantic feelings he doesn't admit to but shows (sleeping in the same bed, holding hands) and he dotes on her a lot as the youngest. However, this strains her relationship with Ashley, who is used to having Andrew to herself before the youngest sister was born, but also loves reader (platonically, maybe transitioning to romantically) because she's never done anything but love Ashley unconditionally.

So it's a complicated thing where Ashley's possessive of both but also scared they'll get together and abandon her, Andrew is extra possessive and protective of reader but denies it to hell (as he does), and reader is slowly realizing some things about her siblings that she really should've realized much, much earlier...

notes from coff-in: GRRRR IT'S LIKE YOU LIVE IN MY MIND!!!! oh to have two possessive and obsessive older siblings who love you way more than a normal sibling should, not like i'm complaining, hahaha! i'm sorry these asks are taking so long... i just wanna hang on to all your wonderful asks and daydreaming about them indulgently!! even so, i hope this was to your liking and thank you so much for requesting!!

[fem] reader-insert, [reader] is 1 year younger than ashley, talks/mention of incest, brief NSFW

I love you more than I should...

Andrew and Ashley did not know why their mother thought she should have a second child. Maybe this was an accidental pregnancy.

When [reader] was old enough to walk and talk, Mrs. Graves delegated the responsibility of raising her to Andy, who was around maybe four or five years old at the time. He tried his best to keep them both happy and satisfied, but it was obvious to the keen few that he paid extra attention to his baby sister. Leyley wasn’t used to not having Andy’s full attention on her and expressed her hatred of the new status quo by picking on her little sister.

When [reader] would try to make amends with Leyley for whatever crime she committed, it shocked Leyley. She remembers when she was playing in the forest one day, picking on the bugs in the dirt, and having her little sister [reader] walk up clumsily to her with dug-up flowers in her hand.

“I’m sorry I made you upset, Leyley. Please don’t be mad.” Leyley picked on her less after that and a heated argument with Andy. In fact she tried to hang out with [reader] more often and tried her best to be nicer to her sister. She was someone besides Andy that she could call a friend. It wasn’t uncommon to catch [reader] following her older siblings like a lost puppy, eating lunch and studying with Andy or drawing and playing around with Leyley.

The other kids found it strange how [reader] would willingly hang out with Leyley. She was so normal like Andy was. She was sociable and had friends that she hung out with from time to time… until Leyley drew most of them away. The only ones that stuck around were Julia and Nina. Maybe [reader] knew that they were just using her to get closer to Andy or maybe she believed that they genuinely wanted to be her friends.

Once Nina died [reader] stopped putting herself out as much. She clung much closer to her big siblings and they were happy to dote and comfort her. Leyley made it so that [reader] promised with the blood pact she would never love anyone else but her and their bother.

As they got older, in middle and high school [reader] started to come out of her shell again. She tried to make some new friends but Ashley, again, did her hardest to scare most of them off. 

“What do you need other friends for?” She’d ask [reader] when they see each other during the day, “You have me and Andy! You don’t need anyone else!”

It’s not like Andrew was any better himself. His possessiveness was less visible to others but it was still there. “Ashley’s right, sis. You don’t need to worry about making friends right now.” (God, to be the object of affection between these two <3)

He didn’t like the idea of [reader] dating. He knew it was wrong for him to think of his sister like this, but he didn’t want to share her with anyone else. He’d never admit that he got off on the idea of being her first; her first kiss, her first boyfriend… To avoid the jealousy he knew he’d feel if [reader] dated he simply told her that she wasn’t allowed to do so. Any arguments that [reader] had about him or Ashley dating (mostly about him dating Julia) were casually swept aside with the excuse that he’s older than her.

Ashley doesn’t like Andrew dating Julia. He can’t leave her! Does Julia really think that she’s better because Andrew can fuck her and not Ashley or [reader]?! While Ashley leaves 200 violent voicemails for Julia, [reader] calls Andrew a lot during his time in college to ask if he could come home.

“I miss you.” [reader] would say in that low, pouty voice that’ll tug on Andrew’s heart and make his cheeks red. “Could you come back this weekend to visit?”

And he’d say “Of course.” because he could never deny his little sisters.

Once they’re stuck in quarantine, Andrew and Ashley start showing (or at least then [reader] starts noticing) their more possessive and… weirder nature.

They’re always with [reader] except for when [reader] has to use the restroom. Ashley’s making [reader] do some chore with her or Andrew’s subtly holding [reader] close to him when he’s smoking on the balcony. Ashley would make her teasingly suggestive comments about [reader] and Andrew would immediately shut them down while avoiding looking at [reader] because he does think that they have a merit to them.

Andrew sneaks into [reader]’s bed when the nightmares come and cuddles up to his baby sister. He holds her close in his arms and rests his face on top of her head or in the crook of her neck or on her chest with her chip over his head. He relishes in her warmth and takes deep inhales of her scent to comfort himself. 

Whenever [reader] does chores, he pats her on her head and says that she did a good job and that he’s proud. [reader] insists he praises Ashley too and it makes her heart pound a little faster and harder. 

Skip over to Episode 1 when they break into the cultist apartment, Andrew tries to avoid having [reader] see what’s up. [reader] is reasonably freaked out and upset about having to dismember and EAT a dead guy until Ashley proposes that she’d just starve to death. Andrew argues with Ashley about letting their baby sister starve and would probably insist with Ashley that [reader] should eat the dead cultist.

Ah, this is going to be very lazy of me but I’m going to skip over to the Burial vision scene. In the vision, the siblings see themselves (all three of them) post-coitus, naked and marked up by each other. (Very self-indulgent but [reader] would be placed in the middle of them)

Andrew’s an embarrassed mess because holy shit, holy shit, holy shit! 

He fucks his sisters. He fucks his baby sister, [reader]. He’s as elated as he is scared… she’s not like that. She wouldn’t fuck him. She wouldn’t fuck her older siblings and she wouldn’t want them as much as he wants her… would she?

Ashley’s never really considered [reader] in a romantic light like that, but she doesn’t mind it at all. Having [reader] close to her and Andrew like that brings a warm comfort to her.

With the way the trinket works, [reader] probably wouldn’t be able to see the vision since she can’t touch it when Andrew and Ashley are holding it in their hands. She’d be sleeping on the couch, waking up when she heard Andrew and Ashley yelling about the argument.

I wanna write smut about them having a hot incestuous threesome so badly but I’m losing steam right now. They all confess their feelings about each other and kiss tho. By the time Episode 2 ends [reader] has been sort of worn down by Andrew and Ashley’s weird feelings that she’s like “Yeah I’d fuck my siblings because I love them!”

----

coff-in

[quackle]

everyone talking about the 'julia grabby hands before the mkulia hug on the dock of shame' moment (rightfully so), but i'm still stuck on the 'julia rolling her eyes as she smiles fondly at mk' moment

LIKE LOOK AT HER????????

[sunfortune]

do you have a goodreads? or romance book recs in general? i remember reading troubled waters by sharon shinn bc i saw you mention it and i ended up loving it, and i'm stuck in such a rut with the genre rn

i still haven’t found another underrated fantasy banger with adult characters like “troubled waters” </333

but i did find 2 underrated historical romances “the deceitful duchess” and “the marquess wins a wife” both by aydra richards this year. and they were soooo good. literally ATE up so many of the more popular books ive read from the genre

(would especially recommend “the marquess wins a wife” if you are a the viscount who loved me/kanthony enthusiast like me bc imo it improves soooo much on what julia quinn misses in the third act in regards to kate’s anger/feelings)

other than that i also really enjoyed “emily wildes encyclopedia of faeries” which i didn’t expect to love bc it started a bit slow but it ended up being sooo fun! i LOVED the assertive and at times abrasive female character. and her boytoy <33

[strawberrynightmere]

Bad Cats!!! [Part 3]

Warning ⚠️: yandere tendencies, mention of (temporary?) re-homing, mention of financial struggling (idk how to exactly put it), an attempt at writing a professional sounding email.

A/n: Sorry, this took a while, I had things to do. This is a bit longer than what I expected.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

It finally happened. Your boss' incompetence has set back the whole company. You knew it would happen eventually, but you thought that by then, you'd be working somewhere else. There's still no reply from the places you applied to and the bills! What are you going to do now? The obvious thing is to cut your food supply short, but that's still not enough.

And how are you going to take care of Andrew and Ashley? You can't just toss them outside. That's inhumane! You've grown attached to those two and they have also grown attached to you. Besides, they've been living here with you for some time, and you're afraid they won't be able to adjust to the streets again.

All of this has been brought up in your conversation with Julia. Unlike Nina, Julia knew how to offer helping you.

"What if I take them in until you get back to your feet."

"You would do that? Even take in Ashley?"

"Yeah! You said they got tamer over the time, besides when introduced to new people. I can deal with that for the time being."

You wanted to cry in releaf. Like a boulder just fell off of your shoulders. You make the arrangement with Julia and end the call.

"Meow?"

Andrew was right at the doorway looking at you with what you can pinpoint was concern.

You crouch down to his level and pat his head. "Everything is alright."

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

You were waiting for Julia in the park, where you said you two would meet. Andrew and Ashley were in their cat carriers wondering why they were here and what was happening.

You hear footsteps running in your direction. It was Julia!

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic." She said out of breath.

You take her to the bench you were sitting on to rest a bit. While she was resting, you, for some reason unknown to anyone, spoke to Andrew and Ashley.

"Listen, you two will be staying with Julia, temporarily, please be good to her. I'll come back for you as soon as possible." Then you turn to and tell her what she needed to know about the two.

Meanwhile, Andrew and Ashley were confused, to say the least.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

The time the cat siblings spent with your friend was unpleasant. Ashley hated everything about this situation. She hated the place they were living in. She hated Julia. She hated how she treated them as babies. She hated that Andrew was unresponsive the whole stay.

"Are you still going to stay quiet?"

At this point, she'll die of boredom and frustration.

Speaking of which.

Ashley slaps her brother with her little back paw.

"Are you gonna talk now?"

"She left us."

"Huh?"

"She. Left. Us." Andrew repeated, emphasizing each word.

"Well, watcha gonna do about it?"

"Something I should've done before."

That surprised her. It took only a moment for her to realise what he meant.

"Oh. Oh! My god, really? Are you actually gonna do it? You are gonna listen to me. This. This moment is so much bigger than me! I'd like to thank myself for holding up for so long. My parents... can continue to rot in Hell where they belong."

Andrew just rolled his eyes at his sister's dramatic speech, like she was gonna get some kind of reward.

"But anyways. This episode is titled 'Andy and Leyley and the-"

"You're not going."

"Huh?!"

"You'll stay here and distract the human. She still can't tell the difference between us."

Ashley sinks down to the floor.

"And Leyley is stuck with the crumiest job possible."

"Daww, don't worry, Leyley. We'll pick you up very soon." Andrew assured in a teasing tone.

"Ha ha ha! Fucking asshole."

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

One rejection letter after another. You were losing hope. You're gonna end up homeless at this point.

Slumping your head on the table.

Ding!

An email from your current job. It's probably gonna beo something like half of the company being let go. Whatever. You click on the email.

---

Respected workers of [COMPANY],

It has come to us with a heavy heart to announce that [REDACTED] from [DEPARTMENT NAME] has been forced to let go.

As you are all aware of the current setback in this company. We are glad to announce that this is just a small hiccup, and in soon time, the company as a whole will soon be able to function like before, and you'll be able to receive your full payments.

For any questions you have, please email us.

With full regards

[RANDOM NAME]

P. S. As for the new manager of [DEPARTMENT NAME], the position will be vacant until further notice.

---

This has to be a dream. You rub your eyes to confirm. Yep. It's real. So many questions were forming. Was any of this possible? What was this feeling right now?

Who cares! You won't have to worry about this anymore. You won't have to worry about finding a home for Andrew and Ashley or the possibility to send them to a pound. You won't have to worry about starving or being homeless.

And the best part? That sucker of your boss finally got fired.

Wait. Andrew and Ashley. You'll have to see until next month if you'll be able to take them back. Right. It's late. You'll tell Julie about the good news in the morning.

"Meow."

What the...

Black fur, green eyes. Either you're hallucinating from the lack of sleep and the lack of nutrition, or that really was Andrew sitting at the doorway.

You carefully get close to the cat and stretch your hand out to him. And then you feel his little head rubbing against your palm.

"What are you doing here?" You ask in a voice that was right above a whisper. "I can't take you back just yet. I need to call Julie."

Picking up your phone from the table, you dile Julie and wait for her to pick up, but there is no answer.

"Gess, I'll return you back there tomorrow."

As you say that, two arms trap you at the table where you were sitting. Turning around, you see the same man from your dreams. Black hair and green eyes. It suddenly dawned on you.

"You're not taking me anywhere."

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A/n: There were a lot of possible plots I was working on, and honestly, this one was the only one that was working out for me. Hope you enjoyed it.

[sturniololuv08]

TreeHouse Chapter 6

"He was just a childhood best friend; they never really last anyway."

Summary: Sienna takes a trip down memory lane.

"A piece of my heart left with you."

⚠️This Fic Series will NOT be for people with triggers. This Fic Series will have very descriptive moments of abuse.⚠️

Please Read At Your Own Risk.

Sienna POV:

It couldn't have been him. There was no way, after all these years, he would reappear. He looked at me like he was looking right through me. His eyes were void. My Chris would never have eyes like that. The joy and life inside of him were so energetic it was almost impossible. That boy seemed saddened and dead inside.

"How come you never told us about him?" Julia asked as we walked to our following classes.

"He was just a childhood best friend; they never really last anyway." I tried to shrug it off, but the truth was I couldn't stop thinking about him. His hoodie was up, so maybe I had just imagined him to be who I wanted. Julia went to her class, leaving me behind with my thoughts. My next period was English. I debated skipping it because I couldn't focus much anyway. I just wanted to go home. I felt sick to my stomach. My parents would never believe me if I told them Chris was back. Was he... Was he back? I walked into class, and there, in the third row, next to the window with his hood up, was the boy again. We locked eyes just like on the bus. He slowly pushed his hood off of his dark brown, moppy head. His icy blue eyes, still cold, looked directly at me.

"Sienna." My vision was becoming blurry. "Are you okay? You look sick." I felt absolutely ill.

"No, I... I mean, yes. I am." I started to feel woozy.

"Please take a seat next to Christopher," the teacher said. I felt the name take every last breath out of my chest. My legs fell out from underneath me, and I felt a slight breeze as my body slipped through the air.

"Oh my god!" was the last muffled thing I heard before everything went black.

"Honey, are you okay?" I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. I was in a little makeshift bed with my parents beside me.

"We are right here, Sienna."

"Mom?" I started to sit up.

"The school called. Your teacher said you passed out at the start of class today."

"How are you feeling?" The school's nurse came in asking.

"I'm good." I took a deep breath and looked at everyone's faces. My mother's expression was the most worried.

"Why do you think you passed out? Have you eaten today?" The nurse asked. I knew it had to do with him, but I couldn't admit that, at least not to them.

"No."

"It could be some low blood sugar or low pressure, maybe." The nurse grabbed a cuff to latch around my arm. "Well, get you something from the cafeteria, and you should be good to go—unless you want to take the rest of the day off." Yes.

"Mom?" I knew if I asked her, with her worry, she'd say it was okay.

"She'll come home with us today." She stuck up for me. I couldn't be in school anymore. I had too many thoughts and questions about him. After all these years he pops up in school? Why? Most importantly, how?

"That's fine. I'll go email your teachers." The nurse smiled and walked to her desk. I couldn't understand why he looked just like Matt or Nick or why his eyes were void and emotionless. I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't believe he was really him. My Chris left. He left me behind and never bothered to explain. My confusion was slowly turning into anger. The more I thought about the past and how long I held onto him, the more the anger bubbled inside of me.

"All set?" My dad asked the nurse.

"Yup. Try and get some rest Sienna." She smiled softly at me. I walked out to the car with my parents.

"You have never passed out before. Have you not been eating for a while?" My mom asked.

"What?" I was confused.

"Are you not eating to become, like, skinnier?" Dad tried to ask in a way I'd get it.

"What? No! I just missed breakfast today." I lied again. The car ride home was short.

"We have to go back to work. You gonna be alright?" Dad kissed my forehead while I lay in bed.

"Yeah. I'm just going to take a nap." I covered up.

"Make sure to eat something when you wake up." Mom left the door open a tiny crack even though I'd be home alone. I listened to them go and stared off at my wooden white door. I tossed and turned, just thinking about him. I sat up and looked out my bedroom window- the tree house. Surely, if it were him, he would meet me there. I got out of bed and slipped on my short furry boots. I gripped my phone in my hand and walked out the sliding glass door. I couldn't believe it, not until I knew for sure. Having the name Christopher could have been a complete coincidence. I also don't recall my Chris ever having any brothers. They never played Transformers and Barbies with us. I looked up at the rotting platform, neglected for years after I gave up. I felt a lump in my throat slowly forming. I gulped it down and gave the rope ladder a little tug to ensure it wasn't rotting. It was firm. I stepped on one rung and waited for the snap, but it didn't happen. I looked up again and sighed.

"Fuck this," I muttered, getting angry. Chris just disappeared and then suddenly reappeared, and for what? I started ascending the ladder until I got to the hole to enter. "Fuck him," I whispered angrily. I climbed up in the tree house. My eyes were closed. I was almost afraid he would be here. What would I even say to him? What would he say to me? I slowly opened my eyes and was instantly met with more disappointment. "Typical." I sighed. The inside of the tree house was dark. The weather-warped wood was molding and rotting in a few spots worse than others. The once bright pink fuzzy shag carpet was now matted and sun-bleached. All the vibrant colors I remembered were now ghostly grey versions of themselves. Everything changed the day Chris left. My whole life lost its color, and I was fine pretending up until now until he came back just to remind me of what he took when he disappeared. The lump in my throat breached the surface, and I let out a little sob. My eyes followed the emotional train I was riding being back in the tree house, our tree house.

I blinked fast a few times, feeling the tears slip a little quicker. Once my vision wasn't bubbly, I looked around again. I saw her. She was sitting in the corner where I had left her that night. I crawled over and picked her up. I pinched her pink frilly dress. I looked at my attire and noted that the plaid pajama pants and white shirt I changed into for the nap I was supposed to be taking right now didn't match. My tears started falling again. I tasted the salty, warm water on my lips. I threw her hard to the other side of the tree house. "Why did you leave?" I cried a little louder. I heard a strange buzzing noise and immediately closed my mouth and halted my sobs. I glanced around to see a Transformer struggling to light up. I crawled over and picked it up. I noticed my Barbie, who disturbed Bumble Bee's slumber. I picked her back up, feeling instant guilt for throwing her. Nine-year-old me would have never mistreated her like that. I clutched them both to my chest and continued to cry. "Please, be him." I quietly sobbed to our childhood toys. "Please be my best friend."

A/N She did it. She went back.

TreeHouse Taglist:

@trevorsgodmother @mintsturniolo @wysmols @chriss-slutt @middlepartmatt @blushsturns @shadowtheism @fratbrochrisgf @forgottxen @loveparqdise @courta13 @sturniolo-fann @verstarkey @chrissweetheart @bluetalia

This fic is TAGLIST SPECIFIC, meaning in order to be tagged in this, you HAVE to be on the list. I'm doing this because of TRIGGERS.

REBLOG INSTRUCTIONS: I don't mind just please stress the trigger warnings so no backlash comes back to me!

[betticajuguitodemora]

I watched the two eps, and what I can say, in general, I liked it!

The photography, filmography, writing (in some moments) and the acting are good.

In the first minutes, you can see that they had a care to maintain the YBSLF spirit.

ALSO JEA'S ACTING LOOKS GOOD AS HELL. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SINGS TO BETTY OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

The elevator scene was only kissing but you can see the steaminess on it, but it was too short to me so I got a bit disappointed. All the Armetty scenes are sooo good (thanks for the JEAMO chemistry) but the best scene by far is the "somos novios" scene. It still stucks in my head.

But there was things I didn't liked, like the Marcela and Paty's arc, because it seems they're stuck in time, especially Marcela. I know Nati Ramírez is trying to do justice to her character, but her plot (especially taking Ignacio as her lover and try to put him in the presidency) isn't working to me.

ALSO DANIELITO! OMG, HIS FATE WASN'T WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL. I knew he was dead, but not in jail for fraud with ECOMODA's money!!! And plus, BETTY BEING THE ONE WHO SENDS HIM TO JAIL!!! LOL

Julia's death didn't make sense to me and was unnecessary. Fina Franco is still alive and she would love to be back. For me, it made more sense if Hermes is the one who died and Betty/Julia griefs on him.

I need to talk about Camila. Many people are hating on her now, but I'm sure she will have a redemption journey. Also, I liked how Juanita portrays brilliantilly Camila having a hybrid of Armando/Betty (70%A / 30%B). No wonder she's closer to her daddy lol but I will breakdown on her character later.

Ignacio is like Danielito 2.0. And I loved him, especially the scene where he roasts Camila hahaha. But I HATED that they put him as Marcela's gigolo/mistress. I was like WTF. They should've put him as Marcela's nephew or son!!

Sandra, Bertha and Freddy are good! I had a good laugh with them, and their characters kinda evolved and the actors acting are in point. BUT I'M ALSO MISSING AURA MARÍA. WHERE'S MY GIRLIE

Paty bring the new chief of personal doesn't make sense to me... she didn't even finished college, and saying Gutiérrez just choose her from nowhere doesn't make sense.

The scene of Betty's transformation was expected to be emotional and all, but it didn't worked for me. I'm sorry, but Julia's letter (placed on Betty's old diary, who strangely survived for +25 years) felt too dull, empty and short to me. It's just saying "Betty go back to be ugly" and Betty is like "ok ma 🤓". That's why I'm not buying it.

ALSO, THE FACT THAT ECOMODA'S STORY ISN'T SHOWN ON THE RECOMPILATION. IT BROKES MY HEART! BUT ECOMODA WILL ALWAYS BE CANON TO ME, IDC (maybe post about it later with a storyline of YSBLF - ECOMODA - YSBLF:LHC)

So, so, my final score to these two initial eps are 7/10. It looks good for now, the fans of Betty will like it, and I'm expecting to know how the story will unfold.

[oddfable]

Sketches of my lovely lovely MC for the magnificent @loveandleases's "Love and Leases".

Nothing real serious, just some doodles of my MC Julia and Cam (or, well... my interpretation of him). This boy has me in a chokehold, and I can't believe Julia picked prissy Chris over him T-T

I'm also really looking forward to Gage and Ardent's romances, but I'll need to build the willpower to NOT romance Cam before I can get to them. Same with Markus and Isaac, and mmmaaaaayyybbbeee Kara. I only hesitate going for her because I'd feel bad if MC dates every Clarke sibling BUT Cam. Doubly so because he is, in my humble opinion, the best Clarke.

Anyways, my heads just buzzing with little tidbits about my girl, so here's a bunch of useless knowledge about her down below.

Quick heads up! This is basically just a long rant about her and her relationship with Cam. Read at your own peril, it's unnecessarily long and dumb.

Name: Julia Fontaine

Dog: Koi the shih tzu

Career Path: Modeling for Cam

Summary: If Jade is the "It Girl", cool and collected and desired, Julia is the "Good Girl". The quiet, well-behaved girl. The sweet plain-Jane. The nice but forgettable sister, quickly overshadowed in the blinding brilliance of Jade Fontaine.

Basically, she was the boring one.

Years of being overlooked in favor of Jade left Julia vying for attention by being perfect. Perfectly behaved, perfectly smart, perfectly understanding and in her shell and away from the spotlight. And for the longest time, this left her very insecure and even more reserved than she already was. For as much as she loved Jade and held little resentment, there was still a part of Julia that compared herself to Jade negatively. After all, it was natural for everyone to favor Jade. And there had to be a reason everyone liked her better.

The only exception to this was Cam.

Whereas other friends would be lured away by her mesmerizing older sister, Cam stuck to Julia's side like a stubborn stain on white sheets. And in doing so, Julia not only thrived in his presence but grew into herself.

Julia came alive whenever Cam was around. With him she smiled brighter, laughed louder, felt more genuine in each and every of her interactions. She was playful, and teasing, and had a much warmer atmosphere. Unafraid of showing how she truly felt. Embracing all of her emotions, the positive and negative.

He helped her be confident, not only in herself as a person, but in her love for art. An outlet that she happily turned into a hobby, and a skill that she tirelessly worked on and developed over the years. Though she still hesitates doing anything worthwhile with it, Julia is easily skilled enough to try going professional as an artist.

Cam brings out the best and the worst of Julia. And for a while, she thought he was "the one". But when his heart went to someone else, her own was stolen by Chris Clarke.

And what a mistake that was, falling for Chris Clarke.

_____________________________

History

Developed a crush on Cam at a very young age. Realized her growing feelings sometime in middle school. Did her best to ignore them until junior year of high school. Starting junior year, she slowly overcame her fear of destroying the friendship and subtly tried confessing. The problem? Her "confessions" were either too vague, easily misunderstood as admission of feelings for someone else, or she would straight up chicken out last minute. ~*~

In college she said "Fuck it" and was going to confess to Cam as straightforward as possible. She had a whole plan and everything. Found an interesting gallery exhibition she knew he'd love and made reservations at a very popular, slightly high-end restaurant. She worked super hard and saved up for months at her part-time job to afford a whole new (pricey) outfit and makeup set, to fund the entire date herself, and so she could buy him this camera he'd recently mentioned. It was a professional camera, recently released, and very expensive. BUT totally worth it. ~*~

Legit went all out when planning to romance him. ~*~

Was going to ask Cam to "hang out" (aka initiate the date) when she heard he was dating someone. Putting her confession on hold, Julia was in complete denial of this new development. Then she saw him with his new girlfriend. She was heartbroken. Regardless, she pushed her own feelings aside and became the #1 supporter of Cam and his girlfriend. Literally went out of her way to get out of the way for the new girl. ~*~

She repurposed the camera she bought as a Christmas gift for Cam. Claimed it was an investment in his future career, but also a bribe so he'd photograph her future wedding for free. ~*~

Before college, Julia didn't think much of Chris. He was kind of just there. Like, a background prop you didn't really notice. Sure, they'd exchange pleasantries and maybe even chitchat for a bit, but that was it. She had no interest in him. When Cam started dating his now-ex, Chris swooped in and wormed his way center stage of Julia's life. The two formed a very close and tight knit friendship. ~*~

Julia was hesitant to start dating Chris. Even though she'd mostly gotten over him, Julia still had lingering feelings for Cam. She ended up giving Chris a shot so long as he promised he'd have no expectations. Much to her shock, Julia was quickly swept off her feet, all feelings for Cam fading away. Needless to say, Julia was genuinely head-over-heels in love with Chris. ~*~

Despite falling for Chris, Cam remained Julia's "person". Her touch stone, someone she absolutely couldn't live without. Wanting her boyfriend and best friend to get along, she put max effort into mending their relationship. The results were... less than ideal. BUT, she tried. Additionally, she put a lot of effort into getting to know Kara better and rest of the Clarkes. ~*~

After "the incident" and moving in with Cam, Julia is horrified her feelings for the red head have returned with a vengeance.

Trivia

Julia paints and draws both digitally and traditionally. That said, she lowkey prefers traditional medium. She loves oil paint the most and is particularly fond of using splash techniques when she can afford the paint and canvas. She'll strategically splashes paint onto the canvas and forms shapes until she gets the image she wants. When it come to people or animals, she's more precise with her strokes. You could say her style is more on the expressionist side. ~*~

A lot of her older drawing notebooks are filled with doodles of Cam. ~*~

Was a tall kid. Would use her height advantage to affectionately tease Cam. Lowkey wonders if their current height difference is some kinda universal karma, especially when he gently teases her the way she used to teased him. ~*~

They have the same energy as a pair of bonded cats so in sync they're basically joined at the hip. ~*~

Julia and Chris were actually a great pair, and Julia would have remained loyal to him till the end of her days had he stayed faithful. She would do a lot of little things to show how much she appreciated him. Things like bring him a snack if he was still working at home. Pack him a nice lunch if she got up early enough and was in the mood, topped with a little stick-it note of a cute drawing and words of affirmation. Also freely gave shoulder massages and back hugs, and overall was incredibly physically affectionate. ~*~

You could say she was physically affectionate to the point of being clingy. Luckily, for the most part, she was empathetic enough to pick up if she was being too much and back off. If she didn't pick up on it, all you'd need to do was tell her and she'd step back. ~*~

Love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. ~*~

With anyone else, Julia would want to wait until marriage to be "intimate". With Cam, she's pretty much ready to go any time he is. The reason isn't that deep: Julia is terrified of being tied down to a bad relationship because of amazing sex (has seen it happen plenty of times, does not want the same fate). But with Cam, things are different. She has a level of trust in him that goes beyond reasonable. There is no line in the sand when it comes to him, because she knows, in her heart of hearts, that he'd never do anything to hurt her. And she'd never do anything to hurt him. ~*~

Has thalassophobia. Mostly centered around the ocean and sea, but is also unsettled by huge lakes. Could probably overcome it if Cam is with her. Even then, she's goanna be clinging to him like she's dying and he's a lifeline. ~*~

When dating Cam, she half-jokingly suggests they skip dating and get married at the courthouse. Then they can start saving up for their dream wedding. Claims they've known each other so long that it'd work out fine. Says this as a joke because she wants to test the waters and see if the idea puts him off or not. She would absolutely elope and start saving for the wedding of their dreams if he implied he's down for it. She may or may not already have a few ideas for engagement and wedding rings. ~*~

I like to imagine that, after getting notoriety as Cam's model, Julia gains the confidence to sell some of her paintings. I also like to imagine that she and Cam are extremely successful in the world of art and photography.

[whore4billie]

GO AWAY - M.S

Summary- Y/N and Matt have been fwb for around 3 months now. Except the friends part isnt really there. Its more of just fuck buddies honestly. He was fucking multiple girls and there was no feelings involved with anyone..... but y/n had stupidly caught feelings for Matt. She knows she should hate him she knows she should get rid of him, block him on everything and move away from Boston so he cant find her, but she can't. She keeps going back.

Warning(s)- swearing, breaking down, mentions of sex, nothing else I dont think.

Not proofread as usual LMFAO

its around 10pm and all i could think about is Matt. I cant get him out of my stupid head. This isnt what friends with benefits entails. And i know he doesnt feel the same. Its been about 2 hours since i texted him and he saw it almost an hour ago. I text him again.

to: Matty❤🖕

Busy wit your side hoes? Tell Khloe or Missy or Julia or Tiff or whoever your balls deep inside I said hi dickhead 🙄🖕

From: Matty❤🖕

You need to chill out, you act like we are actually together or something but the main thing is were not together. We never will be. We're friends with benefits were fuck buddies whatever you wanna call it but we. Are. Not. Together. Got it? So why the fuck do you care if i sleep with someone else so much?

Fucking ouch. I felt a sting in my chest there was no need to be so harsh. I hold back my tears as i type my reply.

To: Matty ❤🖕

I dont care but i just dont want your other hoes STDS thank you very much

No Matt im lying I do care because im in love with you. I care about you sleeping with other people because I want you for myself. And it hurts so fucking bad seeing you flirting with other girls and hearing about the other girls youve slept with. But i cant tell you that.

I check to see if he's replied. Read- 2 minutes. Why am i suprised. I need to get him out my life. He's messing with me he knows exactly what hes doing. I go to his contact and press block. Done. So why am i still thinking about him. Maybe if i put music on it'll distract me. I press shuffle on my playlist and go away by Tate Mcrae came on. Oh for fucks sake.

"Everytime you look at me it's never enough for you it cant be fair to me cuz boy you know im so damn in love with you"

The universe is against me.

"Oh I've been stuck seeing your face in everyone shouldn't have played in your game of fun now i dont think im okay you never go away"

"Oh enjoy the show you seem to love when im alone you like to care until you don't now i dont think im okay you never go away"

Really? I cant escape Matt. Everything reminds me of him. Ok maybe I just need sleep.

-Matts pov-

Matts going out tonight with a girl from bumble. He found her on there and shes the only one hes actually liked on there. He texts Y/N

To: y/n

Youre a freak. You act like we are actually together we're just fwb remember. Get that into your thick ass skull im not interested

[Text isnt available to send click here to try again]

To: y/n

You blocked me? The fuck?

She blocked me? The fuck? What the fuck is her issue. Fuck this I'm cancelling that date and im going to Y/ns.

It's about 3am when i get to Y/n's house and I text her to open the door.

[Text isnt available to send click here to try again]

Oh for fuck sake im still blocked. I start knocking on her front door and notice her bedroom window is open. "I know youre home open this damn door" i shout up to her. She's being so childish why is she even mad?

-Y/n's pov-

I wake up to banging at my front door and check the time: 3:26am. Who would be here at 3am for fuck sake. I look out my bedroom window and see Matt banging on my front door. "Matt fuck off its 3am I dont wanna speak to you" i shout from my bedroom window. "Why are you being like this? Open the damn door and talk to me like an adult I didnt do anything wrong here you're getting unnecessarily mad about this" Matt yells back. The nerve of this bitch. "I'm not unnecessarily mad Matt I have every right to be mad. Your fucking with my head and you know damn well what your doing Matthew so don't act like you dont" I shout in a whisper, my voice breaking. "Why because you're stupid ass caught feelings? Why the hell is it my fault you cant keep your emotions in check? Thats not my problem." Matt yells. Well ouch. What the fuck is wrong with him? Who does he think he is? "Matt im not doing this with you" i shut my bedroom window and slide to the ground in sobs. What. the. fuck.

_________________________________________

So this is pt1 lmk what you think gimme brutally honest opinions on this idc if theyre rude be brutaly honest

@recklesssturniolo @caroline12b @chrisfavoritepepsi @mattscokewhore @sturnioloshacker @freshloveforthefit @carolsturns1 @carolinalikesthings @mangoposts @sturniozo @luvmxtt @mattestrella @lacysturniolo

[unsoundedcomic]

"I also learned that Raul Julia’s eyeball randomly fell out one night while he was drinking in a bar". Yeah, that didn't happen. The eye is attached to muscles and the optic nerve with blood vessels and stuff. If it "fell out", all those connections would be severed and popping it back in wouldn't save your eye.

I tend to think you're right and I didn't believe it myself but I read the story from Houston and from Julia. I'm sure it was still connected to the nerve but apparently he had thyroid disease (did you ever notice how puffed out his eyes were? Classic sign) and it caused, well, whatever it caused. It probably more like got stuck outside the lids and socket and he played it up 'cause it sounded funnier :)

[explosionshark]

2, 3, 9!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

I actually did reread a lot this year (for me)

The Priory of the Orange by Samantha Shannon - I reread this as a buddy read with my homie @nataliving who hadn't read it before. It was fun going back after reading A Day of Fallen Night last year. I think overall Priory on a second run meant the pacing issues stuck out to me more, but I was delighted to find that my favorite parts of the book still held up really well.

A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny - reread this advent calendar style for the second year in a row. This time got @holdsteady to join me. Super fun, highly recommend this for anyone who wants to read something Halloweeny and fun next October.

Stranger Things Happen and Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link - this was a big Kelly Link year for me. I re-read these two short story collections as well as reading her other two collections for the first time. I'm basically caught up except for The Book of Love. Anyway - there were a few stories in Stranger Things Happen that I really liked, but overall Magic for Beginners hit way better for me

The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman - reread this in anticipation of the prequel, The Daughters War, being released. Probably the first book I've ever genuinely been able to call a comfort read. Loved it even more on a re-read.

Whipping Girl by Julia Serano - re-read this when the new edition came out. As vital as ever, able to present things in a very approachable way, it's a foundational and highly recommended intro to transfeminism for a reason, I think everyone should read it at least once.

The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik - also reread this with @nataliving. It's my favorite Scholomance book, I wanted to be keeping pace with them while they got to all my favorite parts. Super fun to buddy-read this, I truly love this book.

3. What were your top five books of the year?

okay not counting re-reads

Penance by Eliza Clark - this is a fake true crime book. a book about toxic relationships between girls, a book about true crime fandom, a book about the true crime industry, a book about bias and journalistic ethics and perhaps most importantly a book about TUMBLR a decade ago. Also the most brutal and realistic portrayal of bullying between girls i've ever read. Could NOT put this down.

A Tide of Black Steel by Anthony Ryan - another book in the world of the Covenant of Steel series, which I read and loved last year. Just really good fantasy, I've become such a fan of Anthony Ryan. Love how he writes women and gay people and magic and sword fights! Been patiently working my way through his books, waiting for when I'd get a queer woman out of him and the answer is NOW! Thera, my hyper-competent bisexual viking babe. Love of my life.

The Daughters' War by Christopher Buehlman - as mentioned above I really loved The Blacktongue Thief. My main critique when I first read it was that I wish it had more Galva and then BAM Buehlman announces a prequel from Galva's POV. It's basically a war memoir, Buehlman really gets to show off his horror chops here, which is always a plus for me. Loved it, read it once on audio and then again in print, both versions are great but the narrator was really strong, added a lot.

The Jasmine Throne and The Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri - okay counting these as one entry bc they're part of the same series and I read them pretty close together. EXTREMELY COOL FANTASY SETTING. Indian-inspired, cool mythology, cool magic, lots of intrigue and court politics and some of the best women-vs-misogyny i've ever read in a fantasy book. ALSO a lovers-to-enemies lesbian relationship that made me fully feral. Some of the best pacing I've ever read in 500 - 600 page books, absolutely propulsive, literally no part of these books dragged for me which is WILD.

White Cat, Black Dog by Kelly Link - as mentioned above, it's a big Kelly Link year for me! White Cat, Black Dog might be the strongest collection I read from her this year. There was only one story I didn't really care for. Link is so incredibly talented - her style is so whimsical, but there's always this brilliant, vulnerable emotional honesty to her work. Look, I won't lie, sometimes she's a little hard to follow and I can't say I understand everything I read from her but the way I don't get it STILL feels satisfying somehow. It's a good tension! If you're interested in trying a story from this collection, you can read one of my favorites, The Girl Who Didn't Know Fear for free via Tin House

9. Did you get into any new genres?

Not really! Okay, wait, no, that's a lie. I read some history this year, which I don't usually do. The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson, The Wager by David Grann, The Medici by Paul Strathern. Cool, interesting stuff! Good texture for my reading list!

[the-forest-library]

Mid-Year Book Freak Out

This is one of my favorite posts of the year - thanks for the tag @bookcub!

Number of books you’ve read so far: 233

Best book you’ve read so far in 2024: I feel like there hasn't been "the one" yet this year, but there are two non-fiction books that stand above the rest: Bite by Bite by Aimee Nezhukumatathil and Says Who? by Anne Curzan. They cover my favorite topics: foods and words.

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2024: I really enjoyed the second Emily Wilde, but Chloe Liese really stuck the landing of the Bergman Brothers series. Only and Forever did not disappoint, and I'm sad that the series is over. This has been my comfort series over the last few years, and it has lots of disability and neurodiversity rep.

New release you haven’t read yet but want to: Funny Story by Emily Henry. I'm waiting for the audiobook from the library because Julia Whalen does an amazing job with Henry's books.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year: I have several, and they are all coming out in the next two months, and they're all of my preorders for the year:

The Black Bird Oracle by Deborah Harkness (7/16)

Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell (7/30)

Last Seen Online by Lauren James (8/1)

The Pairing by Casey McQuiston (8/6) - Going to an in-person event for this!

My Salty Mary by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows (8/20)

Biggest surprise favorite new author (debut or new to you): Cara Bastone - Ready or Not really surprised me in the best ways, taking tropes I don't normally love and wowing me with how they played out.

Newest fictional crush: Maybe this worm from Mr. Postmouse's Rounds. I think he's adorable.

Book that made you cry: I was laughing so hard I was crying during the baby raccoon scene from Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez. It was hilarious in the audiobook.

Most beautiful book you’ve bought (or received) so far this year: I think it has to be The Black Bird Oracle. It's so pretty, and I can't wait for it to get here.

Book that made you happy: I really fell in love with Marianne Dubuc's illustrations in Mr. Postmouse’s Rounds and Mr. Postmouse Takes a Trip. I mean, just look at that cute worm above. The books are full of the most charming creatures and their adorable homes.

What books do you need to read by the end of the year? In addition to the most-anticipated releases above, I still need to get to the remaining books on my 24 in 2024 list:

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

A Willa Cather Book

The Grandest Game by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Tagging: I'm doing this a few weeks after it was going around, so I don't remember who has already done it. Consider yourself tagged if you'd like to do it and tag me so I can see your responses!

[jasntodds]

Penance:

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Summary:❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don't care. It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? teaser | Chapter 1 coming May 31 tag list | series masterlist | full masterlist | listen to the full playlist on spotify

Playlist:

Penance - Holding Absence

"I am enough to feel happiness and love. It's hard to say out loud, "I deserve to be happy now". Well, I deserve to be happy now."

2. All That I Can Give - The Plot In You

"Stay for me. Wait for me. Bleed and break for me. I'll give the world somehow. (I won't let you down)."

3. On Purpose - Nurko, Rylan James

"So, I'm gonna love you on purpose and give you every piece of me and diving deeper than the surface cause all I ever wanna be is someone you can lean on when you feel alone. There is no distance that I wouldn't go. You can count on me to put the work in. I'll make mistakes, I won't be perfect but I'm gonna love you on purpose."

4. Broken Ones - Illenium, Anna Clendening

"Cause everyone falls so hard and everything falls apart. But we know we still got heart. Here's to the broken ones."

5. Please, Just Breathe - Written By Wolves

"Please, just breathe. I think I saw a look in your eye the last time that we spoke and you said goodbye. It's been stuck on repeat in my mind."

6. Only Us - DYLN

"There is only us, no one else. I keep your head above the water. You make my fears get smaller. There is only us, nothing else."

7. Another You - Of Mice & Men

"Say anything, say anything. Say anything that can make this all okay. Take it away, take it away. Take away all of this emptiness I feel cause I will never find another, I may never find myself. I will never find another you."

8. Celebration Song - Holding Absence

"I know that years from now when my final flame runs out, I'll be a grain of sand running through a stranger's hand but right now I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive, I lived to see today. I lost so much along the way and that's fine cause I'm alive. I've been so hurt for so long."

9. Somebody's Someone - Ryan Carter

"All I ever wanted to know was what it feels like to be somebody's everything like you were to me. Give me half of you. You took all of me. You took everything."

10. In A Perfect World - Dean Lewis, Julia Michaels

"Baby, I said it, you're so scared of regretting something before you can even regret it and we could be great, and it would be great if you'd let it but you leave when it gets too good. You (I) leave when it gets too good. In a perfect world, I am here with you and I kiss you slow in a dim lit room. When you ask me if I love you, I say, "I do". I'm not running from my problems, and I'm not running from you."