#I'm still looking for a keyboard I could build. I've been thinking about it for over a year now lol

[g4rchomp]

Varmilo x Miku keyboard :^)

[taesanluv3r]

studio sessions.

han taesan x reader

taesan n reader r both idols! refers to taesan by his real name (dongmin) in most of this, super cuteness TT lowercase intended, ignore any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors! enjoyy <3

wc: 3,561

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"and i guess...i guess i'm just...in love with you?"

"tsk...no, that's not it" yn ln groans as she leans her head onto her knee. "if you could look through my eyes, if you could listen to the beat of my heart...if we switched places for just a moment you'd see all the truth about you that i've kept within me..." the idol girl read out loud, her cursor skimming through the page of lyrics she had just typed out onto the otherwise empty google document that stood before her on the computer screen. "and you'd figure me out...you'd see what this is all about..." the words seem to naturally come out of her head, like she was born to create catchy rhymes out of thin air. "you'd see what a fool i am, all the stupid things i'd do...all the proof that...uh..." she pauses for a moment, repeating that last line once again in search for the final words of her new song. "all the proof that...ah! all the stupid things i'd do, all the proof that i'm so in love with you!" yn emphasizes the final line, excitedly clicking the keys on her mechanical keyboard. she nods once, reading through the whole page once more before hitting the save button atop the screen. "perfect"

the young k-pop idol girl smiles to herself, the lyrics she had just written rolling satisfyingly out of her tongue as she read them again and again for the hundredth time. see, yn wrote almost all of her own songs- hell! she wrote about 70% of her group's discography all together. she loved it. she loved the idea of putting her own thoughts and troubles into words, the idea of turning her mind into a collection of rhymes. even on her off days like this one, she'd lock herself up in a random studio at the KOZ floor of the HYBE building, spending hours in front of the screen just writing. however, there was one problem. as much as the girl loved to write lyrics, she had but a clue how to actually turn them into listenable tunes. so, most times out of ten, when the girl was running out of possible strumming patterns on her ukulele, she would need to seek some sort of help from her company seniors. more specifically, from the guy she wrote half her songs about. the guy she had known since they were trainees, the guy she had a crush on for as long as she knew. she had to seek help from the musical genius behind many of her unreleased tracks, from the one and only, han dongmin, famously known as taesan of boynextdoor.

yn picks up her phone, scrolling through a few notifications she hadn't read yet, replying to her members in their group-chat, and sending a selfie to her mom who was wondering what she'd been doing these days. then the girl scrolls some more, searching for one particular contact in the sea of kakaotalk chats that flooded her screen. an unconscious smile makes its way onto her lips as she finds what she had been looking for. 'dongminie' the contact name, paired with half his face in his profile were enough to send the girl's heart to do cartwheels in her chest. she clicks on it, waiting for half a second as their previous texts loaded onto the screen.

r u busy?

she watches as a little green dot appears almost instantly on the bottom corner of his profile, an indicator that he was online to read her texts.

dongminie not rnn just finished schedules why? miss me? hahahah

his last text causes the girl to roll her eyes. the smile still present on her face as her fingers move to type out a response.

pftt u wish i just wrote another song 🤗

yn blinks once, then twice, waiting for him to finish typing.

dongminie another one??!!??! u psycho...what are you? a rhyme machine or something?? let me guess...u need help composing it? 🥱

she giggles, he knows her too well.

pleaaaseeee? not like u have anything to do either and i think this one is gonna be rlly rlly good...trust me!!!!

yn's hand moves to her mouse, placing her phone on one side of the desk. she shuts down her computer, already knowing his answer despite not really looking at his response.

dongminie fine... but only bcs i hv nothing else to do n making music is just something i love too much to turn down 😼 just come here, i'm in the studio as usual

and with that the girl gets up, stretching her body out in the process as she gathers her things into her shoulder bag and walking out the door. it doesn't take long for her to reach his studio, smiling softly as she makes contact with the familiar grey wall that surrounded the whole of their company building. yn lifts a hand up to tap against the door, knocking politely before a voice from inside asked her to come in.

"hey" han taesan says, turning around in his office chair. his hair laid flat against his forehead, and he wore a simple white shirt paired with some vintage jeans, the long black coat stashed against the corner of the room where his bag was completing his usually chic outfit. it seems he had been working on something too, the music program still opened on the brightly lit monitor that sat on the large desk. the idol boy smiled at the girl, reaching over to the side to pull another chair for her to sit in beside him and inviting her over. "hey, what you up to?" yn asked, taking the seat and dropping her things on the floor beside her. "nothing much...just some song drafts for the comeback" he replied, cursor hovering over the save button. "and you? seriously? another song?" the boy exaggerated his words dramatically, laughing when she rolls her eyes and playfully hits his shoulder.

"whatever! i just felt like writing today, alright? besides...this one's gonna be a hit" yn says, nodding proudly as she did so. dongmin laughs again, "you say that every time...and most times you don't even end up releasing them!" his words sound tired, as if he were getting sick of helping her make all these songs and none of them actually going out to the world. however, that was far from the truth, the boy would never ever be sick of it. he'd tell her time and time again how he only did these things because of his sole love for musical production, and she'd just nod, going along with anything that would turn her words into tunes. she didn't know the full story, she'd never know that only half of what dongmin said was real, and that despite his fascination in the art, the only reason he did any of this was because he, too, was in love with the girl sitting in his studio beside him right now and he'd take up every opportunity to be with her amidst both their busy schedules.

"so what kind of song is it then?" the boy asks, opening up a new project on the computer before bending down to plug his mini keyboard into the socket. the girl giggles before she speaks, "you're not gonna believe this..." she prolongs, watching the way his features washed down into a monotone and bored expression. "really? do you write anything other than love songs?" she laughs again, "i'm afraid they're the only thing i can write, dongmin" he sighs, "i mean seriously...what loser has you writing all these lovey dovey songs?" his words cause a scoff to escape her mouth. "says you? mister i keep thinking about you, mister just you and me...please, if anything, you're more lovey-dovey than me!" yn's outburst makes his stomach turn, grinning sheepishly as he begins scrolling through the variety of digital instruments he had downloaded on the program. "shall we?" dongmin asks finally, everything prepared for their music-making session. yn nods excitedly, her smile matching his own.

"we shall"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"that's so good oh my god...han dongmin, you musical genius" yn claps her hands together as the melody the two had just come up with came to an end. dongmin laughs, his hand slapping over his mouth as he did so; a habit of his that she found so cute. he moves the mouse so that the rows and rows of drum, bass, and other instrumentals on the screen became smaller and compressed into a single line of recordings. the song is smooth-sounding, the 808s and soft drums matching perfectly with the r&b rhythm they had decided on for the track. "now...vocals. it's time to put that pretty voice of yours to good use, yn" the boy says, grinning at her as he began to bend down to grab a mic and it's stand from the cupboard beneath the desk. she blushes slightly at his sudden compliment, giggling as she playfully rolls her eyes. "here" he says, handing her his pair of black headphones, asking her to put them on while he set up the mic for recording. yn nods, the headphones sliding down the sides of her face from how big they were compared to her head. he laughed, reaching over to adjust it to her size.

"is that fine?" he asked, eyes never leaving hers. "mhm" she hummed, face flushing, suddenly feeling shy from all the eye-contact. he must've noticed, a proud smirk making it's way onto his pink lips. "okay, tell me when you're ready" dongmin says, his finger grazing against the mouse as he prepared the program for recording. yn nods, pulling out the song lyrics that remained neatly typed out on the google doc she had opened on her phone. she took a deep breath in, adjusting the mic that sat on the table before her. then she takes one quick look at him, a look of determination on both their faces.

"okay, let's start"

the boy presses the space bar on his keyboard, a quiet metronome entering the girl's ears as the instrumental they had just composed started playing. she follows the count, nodding along to the sound and waiting for the fourth beat where she'd start singing. signaling for her to begin, the guy beside her nods his head and points his finger towards the screen at the same time, trying his best not to squeal like a little girl when her honey-like voice fills the otherwise silent atmosphere of the studio.

"i'd spend every free moment of my time sitting in a room with you, i would quit a job just in case you wanted me to. a thousand more rhymes i could write, hours and hours going into new songs. i begin to see you for all your rights, ignoring all your wrongs"

dongmin listened carefully to the lyrics, the way he always did, beginning to wonder again who she had in mind while writing such things. he watched the way her eyebrows knitted together as she hit a higher note, the way she bit her lips and narrowed her eyes as she played back the recording, listening to it again and again as she re-did each verse a dozen more times. yn felt his gaze on her, the same gaze she felt every time they had these studio sessions together. she'd turn to him annoyed, telling him she can't sing properly if he kept staring at her that way. then he'd laugh, teasing her about how red her cheeks got when she sang and the way her own lyrics had her smiling like an idiot.

"and you'd figure me out, you'd see what this is all about. you'd see what a fool i am, all the stupid things i'd do. all the proof that i only love when it's for you"

the finished demo comes to an end, yn and dongmin sharing a satisfied round of applause as he leans forward to hit pause on the keyboard. "another great song, as expected from us!" the idol girl cheers, patting herself on the shoulder in praise. "yeah, another great song that no one other than us will ever hear" the boy says, passing her a bottle of water. she rolls her eyes as she takes a sip, sighing before turning over to him. "wanna know why i never release these things?" his eyes widen and ears perk up, nodding slowly so as to ask her to continue. yn sighs once more, looking away from him this time as she plays with the hem of her t-shirt.

"it's cause of the lyrics. if i release these things, the fans will come up with all sorts of rumours about them. like who it's about, or why i'd write songs like that...and i don't know..." she trails off, leaning against the back-rest of the chair. "i guess i just don't want people to make it a big thing...you know?" he nods again, understanding where she was coming from. "yeah, i get it. i mean, every time my own unreleased stuff gets out, the fans come up with all sorts of ideas...so i get you" they share a mutual understanding, the girl smiles sweetly at the idea of how quickly they got each other; another thing about him she could write a billion songs about.

"i'd like to say i'm no better than those fans though..." dongmin begins, inflicting a curious look from yn. "what do you mean?" she asks, head tilted off slightly to the side as she looked at him. "i mean like...every time we have these sessions, i wonder who your songs are about too...if i think too much about it, i start to see why fans so quickly are able to come up with scenarios and rumours...it just comes out naturally, i guess" the girl laughs, stroking a hand through her hair. he mimics this, his own hand tucking the loose ends of his own hair behind his ear. "yeah, same goes for when i listen to your songs, i'd like to know what pretty girl has you so...romantic like that" yn smiles when he rolls his eyes, a comfortable silence mixing into the cool atmosphere inside of the sound-proof room.

"i think you'd have a field day if you ever found out about her..." the boy's voice trails off, his hands busy as he began to export the song they had just finished making a moment ago, watching as a grey box appears and starts glowing green as it slowly saved onto the device. "and why's that?" the girl asks, now leaning against her palm, her elbow propped up on the desk. "well...um...i'm not telling you- you'll laugh at me" his cheeks turned a pale shade of red, the same colour but darker sneaking onto the tips of his ears. in the moment the boy refused to look at her, finding the way her eyes stayed locked on him somewhat...pressuring.

"would you tell me about her if i told you about mine?"

the boy's eyes go big and he turns around to finally look at her again. he nods enthusiastically, excited that he was going to get an answer to all his queries at last. yn giggled at his expression, letting out a deep breath before speaking again. "well...he's a guy i've known for a while now. we used to see each other more often, but now both our schedules are just so busy we only seem to see each other on off days, or in passing at work" dongmin's eyebrows furrow as he racks his brain, trying to piece together all the information he was getting. "i've always liked him. i like how easy it is to be around him. i like how quickly we understand each other, how comfortable it is even when we don't talk...i like that he always helps me when i ask him to, how he makes me laugh and jokes around with me...and most of all..." she drags her words out, looking deep into his curious eyes as she muttered out the last of her sentence. "how easy it is to write songs about him...and he doesn't even know it- even if he's heard them all before"

the last few words were risky. anybody with a brain and some common sense would understand right away the boy she was going on and on about. there was no doubt in her mind that he'd figure it out too if she had given him enough time to digest all the things she just said. however, before he could do so, the girl interrupts every train of thought that went through his mind. "okay, that was my thing...your turn! you said you'd tell me about her if i told you about him, so..." she waves her hands around, signaling for him to start talking.

dongmin cleared his throat, straightening up his back before telling his own story. "this girl, i think almost all my songs are about her...well, at least all the songs i've written since i met her. i tell her about all my problems, and i try to help her with all of her own...uh..." he pauses for a moment and looks up at the ceiling, as if he were searching for what to say next. yn kept her gaze focused on him, patiently waiting for the boy to speak again. "she's really pretty- and smart too, and she can sing. she has the nicest voice, and she's passionate- maybe, the thing i love the most about her. how she loves doing what she likes to do, how her eyes are sharp as a hawk when she reviews her work, how her eyes disappear when she smiles when she's satisfied...how her hair falls over her face as she shows me a song she wrote on her ukulele...i could go on about her, hoping one day she'd realise"

the pair went quiet again, giving both the rookie idols time to reflect on what they just heard. it took them little to no time to figure things out, but they couldn't help the doubt that clouded over their minds. like the boy had said a couple of minutes ago, it was easy to come up with random ideas when the full story hasn't revealed itself yet.

"dongmin..." the girl began, grabbing his attention away from the loose thread of his shirt he was playing with. "huh?" the boy asked, watching the way her breathing got heavier like she had just gotten nervous about something. "if i tell you his name would you tell me hers?" he sat frozen in his seat for a second, a dilemma circling round and around in his brain. hesitantly, he nods. it's now or never. "i have a better idea, actually" he says, earning an interested hum from her. "we say their names at the same time, just so no one changes their answer- you know?" she nods, agreeing with his idea. "okay then, on the count of three..."

"one...two..." they share anxious looks. it was almost as though they knew what was about to happen, yet they needed it to come out of each others' mouth as confirmation. "three" she said, taking a deep breath before a single word escaped from both of their mouths.

"you"

within the split second after the word graced the very surface of their ear drums, the pair simultaneously released the breaths they didn't even realise they were holding. it was as though a weight had been lifted off of their shoulders, a wave of relief washing through the air surrounding them. the two idols didn't say another word, their glossy eyes staring deep into each other's as identical smiles made their way onto their lips.

"so that loser who made you write such lovey-dovey songs was me the whole time? you're telling me i helped you produce a dozen songs about myself?!" dongmin exclaimed, still in slight disbelief. yn giggled, nodding along. "mhm...and the pretty girl you write about is me! funny how that works out..." they shared another set of laughs, comfortably sitting beside each other in his studio the way they usually did. "so...now what? what changes between us?" the boy wonders, suddenly worried about what difference this new information could bring to their tight-knit relationship. the girl purses her lips, shaking her head softly as she began to speak again. "i don't know...i mean we obviously like each other...that doesn't change anything since we've always liked each other..." he agrees, the smile he had on before never leaving his bright face. "i guess we just keep going the way we always have...just that this time..." he trails off, stretching his arm out to grab her hands in his.

"this time we won't have to hide all our feelings in silly songs"

yn giggles when dongmin presses his lips against her hand, "when did you get so romantic?" he just smiles at her, noticing the way her eyes gleamed like they've never before, and the way her cheeks were naturally stained pink. he wonders for a moment if it were all because of him, he wondered how on earth he got lucky enough to know someone as perfect as her.

"i think the romantic-ness happened when i met you, yn"

the end.

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hehe <3 hope u guys enjoyed this 🙂‍↕️ this is one of the scenarios i alway think of before bed TT i love u han dongmin :( also the ending is up to interpretation!! u can say they start dating after this or maybe they stay the way they are knowing they love each other, or maybe they arent ready for a relationship yet! its all up to how u want it to be ♡ tysm for reading, reblogs n feedback r greatly appreciated! love, kona.

[jeonwonoow]

Chapter 2. Stalker(?)

warnings: none

taglist: @miraes-world

—

The sound of you clicking on the keys of your keyboard is starting to irritate you. You've been so irritable and short tempered lately, after that day actually. Instead of getting distracted by work from the thoughts of Wonwoo, Wonwoo running through your head is distracting you from work instead.

"Good?" Your kind boss, Myungho, peeks through your office. "You haven't gone out of your office since this morning."

You got up and bowed in slow motion, having zero energy. "Mr. Seo, I'm okay. I'm just busy with the new magazine."

"Come on," Myungho comes in and pushes your laptop close before sitting on your table. You give him an 'excuse me?' look and he just tilted his head. "I'm your boss, I tell you what to do, right? So if I tell you to eat-"

"Myungho," you groan and roll your eyes, only earning a chuckle from him. You end up inside his car anyway, sitting on the passenger's seat while he drives. Myungho was one of the people who tried to help you when you were at your worst after your break up with Wonwoo. You're glad that even though you made it clear to Myungho that it's still so difficult to love again, he stayed, he still does what he does back when he said he was gonna pursue you which you already made him stop doing so because you don't wanna bring up the kind man's hopes when you know yourself that you're still too damaged for it.

He drove to your favorite restaurant, ordered your favorite food, showing just how well he knows you by heart. If you were better now you'd probably choose him but you can't force yourself even if you like to think you're okay. "Thank you, Myungho."

"I really like it when you call me by my name, you know?"

"Hey," you chuckle. "This is why we get into dating allegations." You remember that one day he requested you call him just Myungho already instead of Mr. Seo even if you're inside his building and it became a hot topic among the other employees.

"So?" Myungho laughs softly and takes a sip of his soup. "We're good friends. Let them think whatever the fuck they want."

—

Wonwoo spun a pen on his fingers, his chin rested on his other hand as he thinks about you with that guy earlier eating at your favorite restaurant. He didn't follow you there. It was purely a coincidence. He's not the type. But his curiosity was making him consider it.

"She'd hate me even more, wouldn't she?" His friend, Mingyu, gave him a confused look. "Do you know Hao & Co.?"

"Oh my god, I'm a fan. Sohee loves their jewelries so much too. I'm actually wearing a Hao & Co. leather shoes right now," Mingyu wiggles his feet, excitedly telling Wonwoo about the fashion line. "I've met the CEO once, actually. No, twice. He's really nice."

"How could you say so. You only met him twice," Wonwoo scoffed. Mingyu clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Seo-what?"

"Myungho. Seo Myungho." The younger man fumbled through his phone to find a picture he took with Myungho whom he met just lately at a fashion event. He was even surprised that Myungho remembered him from their first meeting and was actually the first one to approach.

Wonwoo's eyebrows scrunch a bit upon seeing the photo of his friend and Myungho. This was the guy you were out with. And now his closest friend is also fond of this guy. What's with Seo Myungho anyway?

"Also, I might have opened a possible deal with him, actually."

"Without my knowledge? Who are you?"

"CTO," Mingyu fights, stating his position. "It makes sense for a CTO to see opportunities too, sir." The younger man emphasizes the 'sir' and rolls his eyes. "What's your issue with Hao & Co.?"

—

You can't remember where or when, but you were sure you heard about ONETech before. Your eyes lingered on the bold letters as you review documents before passing them to your COO.

"We're going for partnership with OneTECH for the website dev.?!" You ask loudly as soon as you barge into Myungho's office. He even flinched in surprise when your voice boomed through his four corners. "Jeon Wonwoo?"

"Won-who?" Myungho asked back, confused until he realized you were talking about the CEO of ONETech. "Well, I became friends with their CTO and we've been planning to develop a better site since we're getting better. I've also heard good news about ONETech, you know?"

"With my ex. Myungho," you say as if you didn't hear any of what he just said.

"Oh, this Wonwoo was that Wonwoo," he nods then his eyes widen before repeating in shock, "THIS WONWOO WAS THAT WONWOO?!"

—

The day of the first meeting. The world seemed to move in fast forward the moment you walked out of your office to go to the conference room. Myungho was already inside and a few officers were settling down. You bowed a little and then straightened your dress. You then walked to your spot but before you could sit down, people from ONETech came in.

"Good morning, Mr. Jeon," Myungho greets and walks to them, giving Wonwoo a handshake before turning to his new friend, Mingyu.

"Seo Myungho," Wonwoo calls his name with a forced smile on his face. "Nice to meet you." The smile drops when his eyes find you. Not even five seconds, he would look away. You swallow the lump that had formed in your throat.

Wonwoo didn't even know you worked under that guy you were on a date with. He wasn't expecting it. The whole meeting, he tried to focus so much but he could feel you burning holes on his skin with your eyes. He'd already finished the glass of water served for him in his nervousness too.

"I guess we're done for today?" Myungho stands from his seat and fixes his necktie. Everyone follows him and takes a bow. One by one, they bid goodbye. Myungho walks to you and places a hand on your waist which Wonwoo couldn't help but look at. "I'll catch up with Mingyu," he whispers and you give him a small nod while picking up your folder of papers. Myungho doesn't stop there though. He pulls you gently to face him and puts his other hand on your cheek, gives you a smile and inches closer to let the tips of your noses touch. He then leaves with a teasing Mingyu, both of them acting like high schoolers as they walk while bumping against each other's arms...yes, in their corporate attires.

"In front of me, really?" Wonwoo scoffs and walks out of the conference room but before the door closes, your anger issues get the best of you and you throw an empty water bottle at him. Wonwoo slowly turns back to you and leans on the door frame.

"In front of me, really?" You mock him. "Yes, in front of you, you cheating fuck—"

"Hey," he points a finger at you. "Language."

"I don't care," you point back at him. "You planned this, didn't you? You're following me. You should have continued ghosting, you coward."

"Mingyu did this. I didn't even know you worked here. And I see, you have something going on between you and your boss. You were better than this."

"What do you—" your breathing got heavier as your anger pooled up. "I worked hard for my position. I'm not here because of what you think. How could you talk about me like that?" Did he really think you were some opportunistic girl who'd get dirty with your ways to strive through life? "How could you, the worst man I've ever met?"

Wonwoo clenches his jaw, "I don't know how many times someone has to tell you I never cheated on you. You never heard me out. You never believed Soonyoung and Hayoon either."

And you thought he was just gonna turn away again this time. But he went closer to you and grabbed your wrist, pulling you out of the conference room, out of the building, without any word.

"You never proved me wrong." You were starting to tear up. But you knew the type of person Wonwoo was. He wasn't gonna push himself onto something that he felt wasn't for him. He was just gonna wait until the right time came. But to you, after Soonyoung and Hayoon set you up, he felt like there will never be a right time. That no matter what he did, he wasn't going to change anything between you two.

"You never let me try."

"Eh?" Myungho tilts his head. Mingyu squints his eyes too, watching you and Wonwoo storm out of the building.

"Isn't she your girlfriend?" Mingyu asks and Myungho chuckles while waving his hands in front of him in a 'no' motion.

[feyspeaker]

Hii me again. I'm not sure if I sent the ask I'm talking about on anon, so maybe that's why you didn't see it? It partially got answered with a recent ask you got anyway so no worries. I was just wondering if you use 3d in your process and if so, how? I've seen other illustrators use it to varying degrees and it seems like a really helpful tool to push your work.

Oh that's so weird! No I periodically go through my asks in chunks and I didn't see anything like that. I've had a few people in the past few months send me asks that looked like the second half of something else with no context, so maybe it's Tumblr fuckery. Sorry!!

I recommend learning Blender so you can help sculpt shapes and render lighting onto them in order to get the weirder/more complex shadows right. You can also apply colors onto the things you sculpt in order to see how the colors act in different lighting. It's pretty much an invaluable tool to me as it keeps me from having to problem-solve too much. I did a lot of digging around in my house to build references to photograph but it was just impractical to achieve the things I want to a lot of the time. I still do that, and you would not believe how many goofy photos I have of my husband in the poses you've seen me paint Astarion in lmao...

I do think that it needs to be used in moderation if you are a more beginner artist- I think that using 3D is DANGEROUSLY close to becoming a massive crutch for a newer artist and improper usage or over reliance on it can lead to stiffness or artificial looking colors. You need to be able to train your eye to create compelling compositions by bashing things together, and train your hand to replicate/add/subtract as needed from your references with an organic feel.

I will say this as a total committer of this crime myself in the past, it's VERY easy to tell when an artist relies too much on, for example, Clip Studio Paint posed models as bases for pieces without a good enough grasp on their fundamentals. And I also used to prickle when I saw more advanced artists warn of this, so I do think maybe it just has to run its course sometimes, because I know that using 3D for reference seems like an easy-button.

I've taken a lot of in-person classes for live figure drawing and painting, as well as just totally done drills, basically, on sketching and painting from life before relying too much on static imagery/3D/etc.

I often fret over every piece I do looking too stiff even still.

You have to do a LOT of the boring hard stuff the old fashioned way. And I regularly go back to it over and over when needed.

For example, I recently did a stupid amount of rose petal/flower studies deconstructing and painting ugly little paintings/doodles over and over because I know that I've been horribly weak at painting flowers for years (actively avoiding them). And I've been doing a lot of floral stuff lately due to that.

Whenever I start a new piece in new territory, I know it's going to mean several 3AM nighters where I have two other tabs open on Photoshop where I test out different textures or do a couple of studies. I'm working on a piece of my OC right now that has a lot of gore/medical instruments and I've been working on testing out different methods for shiny metal painting and some anatomical studies. I'll come to a snag in a painting and go "here we go" and work through it one piece at a time.

My Halsin piece, "Secret Spot" in the hot spring, was a massive undertaking with a lot of these moments. The Karlach x Dammon piece took 3 times longer than it should have due to me just having to go back and fix things knowing I could do better after doing some studies.

Ultimately I personally find art tutorials to be quite useless overall once you get to a certain point, unless they are teaching the use of a tool/software because you HAVE to figure out what works for you. And even then I use Blender like a monkey with a keyboard, I suspect, because I've just bruteforced through it, so I could probably use a tuneup from a good teacher on that haha. I hope this helps some, and sorry if I overstepped if I sound preachy.

[omnivorousshipper]

hey can you do a story with deckard shaw and ramsey based on their extended scene from fast 8

Hi friend!

At this point, I've forgotten that scene is part of the extended version. I'm like, they fully intended to have that scene lol

~~

Ramsey jumped a little as she felt a presence at her elbow. Looking up, she blinked at Deckard Shaw.

"Mind if I use your computer?"

Shaking her head, Ramsey handed it over.

Quietly, she watched as he used her computer and she was shocked he actually seemed to know what he was doing.

Not only was he able to go head to head with Hobbs, rescue her, but now he was apparently a hacker?

What else could Deckard Shaw do?

"What?" He mumbled, eyes still glued to the screen. Her staring hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Uh, thanks for saving me."

"You're welcome."

His fingers were racing over the keyboard at this point and Ramsey was thoroughly impressed. Having him on their side was useful.

Which made her think.

When Brian and the rest of the crew had saved her, they hadn't really explained why Deckard had been chasing them. The fact he had teamed up with Jakande had convinced her that he needed to be taken down.

But now, she was left wondering.

"Why did Mr. Nobody mention your brother? Is he ok?"

Deckard's jaw clenched for a second before he paused his typing to glance at her.

"What did your little crew tell you about me and my brother?"

"Not much," she shrugged. "Just that you were after them and killed one of their friends."

"So they didn't mention that they were the ones to put my little brother in a coma?" His eyes were narrowed and she could see a building storm in them.

"They didn't," she winced at the confession. They had shared all of their adventures but the details of any casualties had been left out. "But Mr. Nobody said he was in a black site."

"He woke up," Deckard nodded. "I'm surprised he hasn't broken out yet. They must be doing something shitty to him to keep him."

"Tell me about him."

Deckard frowned, fully stopping to turn and look at her.

"Why?" He asked, suspicion thick in his voice.

"Why not?" She fired back. "You must miss him, so tell me about him."

Deckard continued to stare at her, but she didn't back down. She didn't hold the same grudge and trauma that the crew held towards him, so maybe she could help to create the bridge between him and the crew. After all, if they're going to work together, they needed to at least get along.

"He's a little arsehole," Deckard finally spoke. "But he's a genius. I swear, I spent more time saving his arse than not growing up."

Ramsey giggled. Deckard sounded exactly like an exhausted older sibling.

"There must have been times he wasn't difficult."

"When he had a project,"Deckard admitted. "He's amazing at coming up with heists. Actually, he was the one who would name our heists after his favorite singers. Owen's a really good singer, so he was always going on and on about the latest song."

"Does he now?"

"Not as much. Once he became a criminal after escaping the army, he was obsessed with outdoing himself after each one. Didn't help that our mum kept encouraging him. Even gave him ideas on his next heists. If only he hadn't gotten tangled up with Cipher."

Ramsey felt her heart twist the ways Deckard said that last part.

"If he hadn't gotten in her clutches, he wouldn't have gotten himself in this mess,"Deckard sighed. "I wish I saw the signs and stopped him. Just drag him away from his crew and keep him tied up somewhere away from her."

"He would have fought you the whole way." Ramsey had never met Owen, but she was certain in this.

"Maybe," Deckard smirked. "But I wouldn't have cared. Not as long as he was safe."

Seeing Deckard's smirking face, Ramsey had to take a step back.

He looked just like--

"Found him."

"What?" Ramsey asked dumbly.

"I found Toretto," Deckard told her. "Here. Thanks."

Taking back her computer and watching Deckard make his announcement to everyone else, Ramsey shook her head.

Just because Deckard and Hattie shared a last name, and looked exactly the same when they smirked, didn't mean anything.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

I have a question for Seb fandom: was he able to recover his reputation after he ended his “relationship” with the Spanish problematic actress? I mean, he still does good projects and he still seems to be interested in working (unlike Chris), plus he still has Marvel///

he did but honestly I think both situations are similar but they're not totally the same, ale did cultural appropriation but that was it, alba and her friends have done much much worse :s and as everyone has said: Seb didn't marry her, in fact, Seb always did the bare minimum for her. I know you previously received an ask saying Seb and his current gf have "zero chemistry" (I disagree) however, Seb has done a lot of effort for hid current relationship, for example, he traveled to Italy and Canada when she was working there, he went to London for her brother's birthday, he went to the bachelorette trip to Spain with her brother and sister in law and of course he went to their wedding and spent her birthday in Portugal with her family... he never did that for ale, sure he went to Spain twice but that was it, he didn't go to the birthdays of ale's family and didn't go with her when she was working and so... like he really didn't care for her and we all could see it.

Now, in the work field: Seb has always been a hard worker. always. he, compared to Chris, wasn't born in a privileged family so he worked normal jobs and so and he struggled a lot financially until 2011, so he knows hard work which Chris doesn't so I think that's the main difference... Chris doesn't need to work ever again if he doesn't want to, he's got 104 more millions than Sebastian, so.. a BIG difference. and then of course, the talent is different... correct me if I'm strong, but I've never heard Chris saying that he took acting classes or something 🤔 ...Seb did, he actually has a degree in it and he's always studying his craft, that's why he's a really good actor, he's got that love and passion for what he does.. with Chris it feels like he just does the work because of the money, let's just look at his latest projects... big streamimg platform movies with no critic acclaim at all... fun fact: Seb was told that he might not receive money from I Tonya because they didn't have the money, he didn't care and he did it anyway and look at what it was 👌🏽 and because of that movie he met Craig Gillespie, who then called him directly to play his Emmy nominated role in pam&tommy last year and then the same director called him back for dumb money, another acclaimed movie this year... that's what Chris doesn't have.. he cares so much about money that he hasn't been able to build those kind of connections. and he needs to work on his acting, 100%.

then: Seb is actually very private compared to Chris... sure, Seb used to interact with his fandom but for example, we only met his mom *this year* and his mom is the only blood related family of him that we've seen (probably the only blood related family he has in the USA anyway), but with Chris, we've seen all of his family, even half siblings at different red carpets throughout the years and all of Chris' friends seem to be.. not very private, meanwhile Sebastian's closest friends (minus Toby's slip in 2021 :s iykyk) are very protective of him actually... like, there are many differences in terms of privacy 😐

finally: when it comes to relationships, to Chris' and seb's, current relationships, Chris chose to marry someone 16 years younger than him and someone he met when she was 23.. which is so questionable from any angle you see it, however, Seb is daring someone who's 39 (he's 41) si of course no one has anything bad to say about them (Seb and Annabelle) which is different to Chris and alba. and I do agree in one thing: Seb has never said he's an activist or whatever, meanwhile Chris was a keyboard activist fighting trump only and then forgot about it and now has very questionable people staying in all of his houses...the same people he used to critic.

if you ask me if I think that Chris can recover from this: yes.. maybe but time needs to pass and he needs to do better movies because right now he's just a joke on social media thanks to the projects he chooses not because of his private life. I know you believe most people shits on Chris for his personal life but that's not the main problem... it's his movies and if he doesn't have the passion and the desire to get out of his comfort zone, he won't go anywhere. there's something that Seb is always saying and it's "actors shouldn't be comfortable in their choices" and to me, Chris is beyond comfortable doing mediocre movies with a big pay. that needs to change yesterday.

Thank you for all this info. I don't follow Seb except to see him in a few movies here and there. I think you raise a lot of good comparisons.

[telomeke]

Current Tag Game

Tagged by @colourme-feral in this post – thanks dearie! 💖

Current time: 9:59am (when I started this! it's now much later but I'm not gonna re-write...).

Current activity: Had a work deadline last night so tidying up the aftermath (deleting unwanted files, etc.).

Currently thinking about: How the project submission for work went. Annoyed that I skipped gym this morning just in case there were last minute changes to the project submission and we'd have to re-submit today; but now that's not needed I'm missing legs day. Also thinking about munching on something extra because breakfast was too light (hardboiled eggs, grapes and blueberries – all originally meant as a post-swim snack, re-purposed to become breakfast since gym was canceled). Maybe fry up an omelet and sausages, or grill some salmon? 😋 Or shall I just munch on some creamy Whittaker's milk chocolate since lunch will be soon and anything heavier might spoil it? 🤔  

Current favorite song: I don't know if they qualify as favorites, but songs will enter my brainspace and then swirl around in there for a while, refusing to leave. So I'm constantly listening to them (on YouTube, not Spotify; don't have a smartphone) and/or singing along in an effort to exorcise the earworm. At the moment the playlist in my head is:

I Don't Think That I Like Her Anymore (Charlie Puth)  Charlie constantly amazes me with his superhuman ability to churn out catchy melodic turns and unusual aural takes on percussion sounds for his backing rhythms (e.g., the light switch in Light Switch). This song continues with his quirky stylings, and I'm loving the pounding bass coming in to frame the heavyweight sock-it-ta-ya message of the song's chorus after the light plaintive vocals of the introductory and intervening verses. The second (melodic) line of the chorus ("Cause they're all the same") is so simple and yet so perfectly fitting after the bold hook of the first line – I find myself asking each time I hear it how could anything else ever fit better? And then it builds and builds to a big finish, at the end of each chorus and also at the end of the song – that key change from B Major to C# Major is quite a genius step, retro yet so fresh. (But still... C sharp? 👀 OK if your electronic thingamajig can auto-transpose but hell on a trad keyboard.) I know this song is from a year ago but I'm not simply wallowing in nostalgia (oh all right, so yes I am a bit) – there is nonetheless a BL connection that first got me hooked on this. The cast of my current fave I Feel You Linger in the Air did their own take on the TikTok Kpop dance challenge of this song (linked here, with other TikToks here) and they're just so cute dancing along. Nonkul attempts a little elbow jab in homage to the original choreo, while Bright gives up after a couple of bars and just goes on doing alternating wrist twirls like those you sometimes see in Southeast Asian dance… 🤣 Alee and Tian seem like they're having fun, as does Attila, but who knew Khun Robert could actually look this good, all goofy and charming when he smiles doing a silly little jig?

‌

All I Want for Christmas is You (Mariah Carey)  Ever since Ms. Mariah broke her icy containment after Halloween (see this video here 😂) I've been singing along, getting in the mood for carols, fruitcake and Christmas decorations because it reminds me of time spent with (departed) family. Happy because those are happy times worth recalling, but also bittersweet because those loved ones are no longer around.

‌

One of Your Girls (Troye Sivan)  While I tend to feel a pinch of resentment whenever Aussies of European origin seem to get opportunities in the West more easily than non-white people do, I have to remind myself it's the system and not the talent that is at fault. So credit where credit is due and I'm a fan of what Troye has done with this and his earlier releases (like his video with PP Krit 😃😍). One of Your Girls is just so beautiful and languid as it teases with its message, and consistently Troye is breathtakingly beautiful and languid in the video, teasing us with an offering of the forbidden. I'm feeling things I never thought I would. 😮 The choreography is pretty daring too. (Especially that crotch flare – where did they tuck the dangly bits? I'm wincing as I watch.) Also shout-out to all the different representation with the models. 😍

‌

Then I'm Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley)  This is Rick Astley spoofing Rick Astley (more explanation linked here) and just so funny. Especially since the original song is already iconic on Tumblr.

‌

Fast Car (Luke Combs)  Another nostalgia trip, this is an absolutely stellar rendition of the already phenomenal original by Tracy Chapman. Almost like Marc Cohn's Walking in Memphis with its sense of urgency and of bottled emotions about to explode, maybe just a shade less of Marc's full-throated growl in Luke's voice, but earthshaking nonetheless. In these 21st century times (and in my corner of the world where BL and queer rep cross my dash all the time) I love that Luke (a married man with a wife and two kids, looking for all we know like the straightest of the hets) didn't change Tracy's line "So I work in the market as a checkout girl", paying homage to the original and smashing at the gender-obsessives everywhere in a quietly powerful way.

‌

Currently reading: My language study textbooks; not much time for anything else though I do miss having a good work of fiction to keep me company whenever the slate of Thai drama dips in quality.

Currently watching: I Feel You Linger in the Air – a really impressive work, solidly-grounded in its universe with overhanging familial, social and political intrigue that threatens to overshadow (but never really does) the chemistry between Khun Yai and Jom.

I've fallen in hard love with this and just hope that Tee Bundit will display the wisdom associated with his name (for those as linguistically-obsessed as I am, Bundit is the homologue for pundit in English, pandit in Hindi and pendita in Malay) and wrap up the finale with more finesse than he has done on his other shows. (Something tells me though that the sense of foreboding you get while watching IFYLITA is partly due to the dread that Tee is going to rush and stumble through the last bits, leaving viewers less than satisfied with the ending like he did with Lovely Writer, Hidden Agenda and Step by Step.) However this goes, I'm a new fan of Nonkul and Bright's acting, and can't wait to see more of them.

As to what else I'm watching – I'm still trying to finish Only Friends, if only to be able to say that I've finally watched a Jojo show all the way to the end. It's not for me, though it has some moments that shine (like Neo's performance, and all the shirtless scenes) but I struggle to find anything that satisfies on a more cerebral level. I'm not opposed to sensuality and messy drama being foregrounded over more intellectual underpinnings (all hail KinnPorsche) but for me it doesn't go earthy and raw enough to make up for whatever else it doesn't do.

Current favorite character: Pat and Pran from Bad Buddy will always be on this list, but because I'm currently enjoying IFYLITA I'm sure I've been visited by Por Jom, Khun Yai, Khun Ueangphueng, Ba Prik, Ming and Khun James in my dreams lately (and also a certain racing piglet 🤣).

Current WIP: All in my head, but I have a final wrap-up post on Bad Buddy locations percolating, as well as one on the graphics in the show (that give us hints of Pat and Pran's interior worlds).

Tagging names I've seen more than once cross my dash and/or notes:

@neuroticbookworm @airenyah @alexis-mika @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @wen-kexing-apologist @twig-tea @pandasmagorica @respectthepetty @dribs-and-drabbles @waitmyturtles @dimplesandfierceeyes @writerwithoutsound @bengiyo @grapejuicegay @lamonnaie @lurkingshan @callipigio @italianpersonwithashippersheart @recentadultburnout @kattahj @theheightofdishonor @fiddlepickdouglas @dc-alves @brazilian-whalien52 @slayerkitty @silvercrystal1 @dudeyuri @ranchthoughts @suni-san @chawarin-panich @lurkingteapot @solitaryandwandering

and anyone else who'd like to play. 😍 Apologies if you've already been tagged; point me to your post if so! And apologies if I've forgotten to mention anyone; if I follow or if you follow me please know you are loved and do play along if you wish! 💖

Also a special tag carved out for the lovely @visualtaehyun as a part-apology; you've tagged me before on a couple of other games and I wrote out about half of my replies – but then work deadlines became urgent and got in the way. Ruefully I had to abandon those posts (especially since they're now weeks out of date). So this is my way of saying thanks for tagging me on those tag games, sorry for not replying, and I hope you'll play along with this one because I love getting to know like-minded people on Tumblr! 💖

[nancypullen]

Monday

Ugh, Monday. I knew it was going to be an exceptionally busy day at work and I was right. Normally I enjoy being right, today...not so much. I got up and got myself ready, choosing comfortable and cool clothing. I fortified myself with caffeine, and headed in to do battle. We're in full blown summer programming at the library and my first task of the day was to teach 25 kids how to build a bee hotel. Most of them did a fabulous job (*cough*the girls*cough*) and left with a home for mason bees that was beautifully decorated and even named. My favorite was The Buzz On Inn.

There were a handful (*cough*theboys*cough) who had no intention of following any sort of directions and built everything from rockets to cowbells. I think their moms made them attend. Still, they were well-behaved and they all left happy. They learned a lot about mason bees whether they wanted to or not. I'm not sure why the library scheduled this program at the end of June when those particular bees are not looking for homes, but we've flooded the bee hotel market with properties and all are welcome. I was able to clean up pretty quickly after the program, and once I'd tucked some things back in their boxes up in the haunted attic, I realized I actually had some...*gasp* unscheduled time. That never happens. I grabbed my book list for July's displays and started pulling from the shelves. Once I had a full cart I slapped up the pitiful decor that I'd made and called it done. In honor of the 4th...

Not my best work, but an appropriate place to display books about Revolutionary War spies, pirates, and women -a little something more than the stuff we learned in history class. George agreed with me.

I designed those silly posters and then printed them at Walgreens. There's almost always a 50% coupon on their website so you can do it for just a couple bucks. Comes in handy if you ever need a poster or a protest sign- I've used it for both.

The second display is awful, so I need to jazz it up a bit. They've taken my bookcase to use for summer reading prize and t-shirt storage, so I'm stuck with this dumb rolling cart.

I think I should add snowflakes or icicles... or just leave it alone because I'm the only one who cares. Actually I'm caring less and less because I PUT IN MY NOTICE. Ohmygosh, I just said it out loud. I have mixed feelings, but it all comes back to the fact that I originally just wanted a volunteer gig, or at most a part-time job. I was not looking for a career or the many, many, many hours of programming, planning, and after-hours work just to keep the place afloat. I really, really didn't want to be a quitter. When people around me were resigning left and right I became more determined to stick it out. But honestly, at this stage of my life my time and my health are precious and this job was sapping both. They've been very kind and have asked what they might be able to change that would make me stay - my kneejerk reaction was, everything. I don't want to leave on a sour note, so I'm just thanking them for the opportunity. I may even propose to them that now that they know my work ethic and I've already been through the background checks and all that - perhaps they'd like me to volunteer now. I could pop in and do the never-ending shelving and even continue the monthly displays. I'd love to do that. Do I expect them to be smart and take advantage of capable and free help? No. I suppose it's time to just put it all in my rearview mirror and appreciate what I've learned. Besides, I just *might* have something even better on the horizon - something that would be on my own time, from my own house, and involve tapping away on this keyboard while my brain spills out ideas. I suppose I've cursed the whole thing by even mentioning it, so I'll stop there and just hope for the best. So that's it. My big news on a Monday is that I won't have to worry about Mondays much longer. This Friday we'll collect the grandgirl for a couple of days, then Matt will fly in on July 1st and we'll all gather to celebrate the 4th. Matt leaves on the 7th (our 40th wedding anniversary!) and Mickey leaves on the 8th for Atlanta to see his mother. She's having a little medical procedure and he's going to be stepping and fetching for her. As of the 8th I'll be home alone, enjoying the silence, and I'll start painting my desk and hutch. Just me, a can of paint, and a true crime podcast...sounds heavenly. I'm finding my groove again. I hope that you're all surviving this awful heat. There's just no reason for it. What good is it? I think the National Weather Service should issue a no brassiere advisory. It's torture. Anywho, things are changing for the better around here, maybe the weather will too. Ever the optimist. Take care of yourselves. Sending out love, take what you need and pass it on. Stay safe, stay well, keep cool. XOXO, Nancy

[thesummerstorms]

This is sooo late, but I didn't have a proper keyboard while I was housesitting and I've just managed to sit down now and do anything that required any length typing.

Thank you to @nepobabyeurydice for the tag!

If I'm being honest, I've not perfectly been able to keep track of who I saw answer this already on my dash, but if you are a writer and we are mutuals, consider yourself optionally tagged.

When did you start writing?

I remember typing up original stuff on our hand me down Windows 95 computer in elementary school, though I could not tell you what any of it was about.

My first fic was a very, very, very cringy Naruto fic when I was 11 and emo everything was at the height of its popularity. I never finished it, and it is now nonexistent, which is very much for the best.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I read a somewhat decent amount of science fiction that isn't as "loose" in it's worldbuilding as even space opera, but you will never catch me doing world building outside of fantasy. I can make things internally consistent, but do not ask me to make them realistic to science.

Also, just in general, while I don't read action per say, or at least read for action, a lot of my favorite genres and series do have fight scenes, and I cannot write those at all.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I can trace a few things in my own writing- both good and bad!- to a handful of authors that particularly influenced me as a young teenager, but I don't think it's anything anyone else would pick up on.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have a proper desk in my bedroom with a desktop PC and two monitors and everything, and if I'm doing any serious and researched meta, or leaving comments on particular fics, I use that.

But I don't really write fic so much these days, and what I do post tends to be... fragments? Concepts? Worldbuilding that morphs into slightly-longer than drabbles? here on tumblr. And 95% of that gets posted from my phone because inspiration struck and it was in my hand.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don't go seeking things out, honestly. Like I said, I don't write plotted or long fic or really much fic at all. So what I do write comes out because it's sitting there poking at my brain for too long and then I can't ignore it anymore.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

... looking at my SW stuff and my PJO stuff, one thing I guess I like the idea of a lot is the boundary between human/larger than human, mortal/immortal, mutable/immutable etc.

I loved some eldritch Force stuff and I love the idea of the PJO gods as being forces as much as or more than they are people.

Like, there's an Anne Carson translation of a Sophocles quote I saw for the first time years ago on tumblr- "Nothing vast enters the lives of mortals without ruin"- and I can't help but fixate still on that idea. What if the vast is inherently part of you but in a way that is alien to your humanity? What happens when the "vast" is both sympathetic and destructive to your personhood?

Also, a slightly less pretentious and definitely less wordy answer, I just think angst is fun to write. Not pure tragedy or grimdark, but angst.

What is your reason for writing?

My brain Will Not Shut Up and it has to go <i>somewhere.</i>

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want people to talk about ideas with me!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Not as a fiction writer per say, but I fucking killed every literary analysis paper I ever wrote in college. Like, this may sound arrogant, but I got nominated for awards by my professors. I thrived off of getting their feedback and that looping into a discussion. So I feel like meta comes easily as a result.

Now if only you could get paid and have health insurance writing literary analysis... alas, I cannot afford a doctorate and academia doesn't pay well or have decent enough healthcare access for my many needs.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I wish I could write long fic and coherent plots, but I am proud of the ideas I come up with sometimes.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I feel like most of my writing is in conversation with what I read, whether it be the original text, other folks' fic, or meta. But even if it's in conversation, I'm never going to even have the idea much less the words unless it's something I'm interested enough in that my brain snags on it.

[nattyontherun]

Okay. Okay fine! I'll explain (some!) of the YOI IWTV AU :] (no one asked. The one person who asked has been crying and served me divorce papers already. That's alright, I'll win them back. @sugarbunbie haha takemebackplsibegimnothingwithoutyo-- EHM EHM ANYWAYS!!)

So I've been having brainworms. Brainworms in proportions hitherto undreamth of. And those brainworms begin and end with Viktor as Lestat!

Haha. I'm not joking.

If you follow me on AO3, or at least read a few of my latest (very short) fics, you'll be well aware that the reason I've slowed down writing is because my laptop is busted and I've been using my phone to update stuff. Very sad, I know. What I did NOT account for, however, is the utter lack of decorum watching s2 of IWTV would give me, let alone the grand ol' idea of making a YOI AU out of it.

I'm still kinda stuck at the stage where haha, Viktor!Stat.

Anyways seeing as updates are slow and, very likely, I won't dive beyond IWTV s1-2 in terms of plot points (and since it's not a 1:1, at all, I say that with a lot of caveats. Character journey, perchance? Emotionally, rather than physically and actually. Smth smth self actualization for our LouClaudia characters, ehm. As I was saying!!) so I figured I'd make a small Tumblr post the way I did for my NRT threesome AU series ( - which I HAVE NOT DROPPED BTW!!! It's just really long and plotty, and I need an actual writing-specific device to work on it since I need to do more research!!!), just explain a few things that may be lost to the crevices of the AU series.

1. I described the first part of the series, seek me with dead eyes (embody me) as kind of a stand-in for the San Francisco fiasco in 1973, because it's not a proper "interview". I'm debating on keeping it that way for the sake of a more compact story, particularly because I don't plan to delve more into the "DM" of this AU,,,, but I will confirm that the interview with Georgi is the basis for many of the fics that follow, even if Georgi doesn't feature predominantly/at all.

2. Yes, there will be Yuuri and Viktor-centric fics to come. Yuuri's will probably be the last one of the series, and the Viktor fic will be a gift. I'm honestly excited to write it, he's the whole reason I bothered to drag my fingers over my phone keyboard and WORK at this au!!

3. Reiterating that Yuri and Yuuri share the burden of being both Louis and Claudia, for the reason that neither of them could EVER be a 1:1 of either of those characters and to put them in such boxes would be a disservice to all four characters involved lmao.

It's particularly for this reason, plus the fact that I'm not framing Yuri as a "son" for Viktuuri, that the focus of the series has morphed. I still think and want to ensure that the AU remains very much about grief, loss and loneliness - but the heart of it will not be about the horrible death of a child.

Will the fic series be less devastating to account for these changes? Maybe? I'm very inclined towards horror myself, if you've looked into my catalogue more, so I'm not shy about introducing some of the more grotesque, vile shit that happens in IWTV, but I figure if it doesn't serve a purpose in the narrative I'm building, I won't bother with writing it out because, again, I'm using my phone and I have wrist problems djsjsjjdjd.

4. Speaking of: there are plenty more characters in the AU, from YOI, that serve as an amalgam of IWTV characters too! Unlike YuuYu however, they have no counterpart to 'shoulder the burden' so to speak. You'll probably know them when you see them, as they crop up over time. It's especially relevant for Viktor's half of the enfolding story!!

5. I'm honestly just making this Tumblr post because I'm a. Bored and b. Driving myself up the wall with each new revelation I'm making out of this AU. None of which I've put on here, I think, thankfully. Very spoiler-y, that. Hahahahahaha. I wrote much of the very first fic in a mad haze and now I'm rethreading it to write out the plot more, beyond that burst of sudden all encompassing inspiration - and I am absolutely insane. I really am. Feel free to DM me here or on Discord or utilize asks if you're intrigued or wanna toss questions - I will absolutely answer because it's all I'm yapping about for the next forever and ever.

K thanks bye!!!

[exrankluck]

Dear Vocalist Unlimited Veronica Translation — PIECES [track two]

disclaimer: this is 90% AI-generated transcription and translation, some things might be inaccurate or awkward.

ディア ヴォーカリスト Unlimited エントリーNo.5 Veronica / モモチ (CV: 豊永利行)

- Drums: YAMATO (CV. Shunichi Toki)

- Guitar: OHGI (CV. Makoto Furukawa)

- Bass: AMA (CV. Kengo Kawanishi)

- Keyboard: SHIZURU (CV. Yoshitaka Yamaya)

Yamato: Ah, I see. That could be a good idea. Nowadays, online shopping is more popular, so it might be better to do that too.

But, what about the expiration date issue? Ultimately, that's the root of the problem in our city. What is dad saying about this?

He used to say things that seemed to be against that kind of thing. Like, "Try to use additives as little as possible”.

Oh, Momochi-kun!

Over here, over here! Sorry, but let's talk about this another time. I'm going to a drinking party now.

Mm, bye-bye.

mmc: Sorry for making you come to pick me up~

Yamato: No problem, no problem, it's on the way anyway.

mmc: By the way, did Yamato-kun get a new car again?

Yamato: Ah, did you notice? Actually, it was just delivered last week.

Yamato: I scratched the old car in the parking lot of my apartment building.

mmc: Eh, you bought a new one because of that? Or rather, you hit it pretty hard, didn't you?

Yamato: No, there wasn't even a dent, just a little paint came off.

Yamato: So, I wasn't planning on getting a new one…

Yamato: I really liked it, but you know how those salespeople at the dealership are so good at talking?

Yamato: They said, "You can upgrade to a new car with just this much from the trade-in value, even after subtracting the repair cost." I fell for it, scary.

mmc: I see. I don't have a car, so I don't really understand that kind of thing... ha ha…

[02:01] Ohgi

Ohgi: Yes, I've been able to work on idol group songs one after another lately. Thank you for listening. But they are a male group after all, and Spark is a group that shows off acrobatic dance moves.

The director was aware of that.

Thank you very much for today.

Really? I'm honored. Then, I look forward to hearing about the album.

It depends on the timing, but if there aren’t any issues, I think I can still take a few more songs. The conversation will change a bit if it's after the New Year, though.

Yes, that's right.

But, well, I'm not the one who writes Veronica's songs, so I think it'll be a while before I get too busy with that.

The thing that's keeping me busy right now is another job that I took on my own.

It's often said subtly, but for me, the reason Veronica can continue in this form is precisely because of it, you know?

There's a different kind of appeal too.

*shiny sfx flashback*

[03:25]

mmc: Oh, really? Then, was the song for that commercial also by Ohgi-kun?

Ohgi: Yes, I made it before Veronica's offer came in.

Ohgi: It feels like it's been a while since then, though.

mmc: I see... Hey, Ohgi-kun, as a guitarist of course, but even as a music producer, you're selling so well. So why Veronica?

Ohgi: Well...

Ohgi: It's because of the songs I heard.

mmc: Huh? The songs?

Ohgi: Yeah, I just thought they were amazing when I heard the songs that Momochi-kun made.

Ohgi; So I said if I could be involved even just by playing the guitar, I would.

Ohgi: And besides, lately, producing work has become my main thing.

Ohgi: I'm not dissatisfied with that, but sometimes it's good to experience things from the player's perspective.

Ohgi: There are things you can learn from it.

mmc: Hmm, I see.

mmc: Oh, by the way, it's a bit late to ask, but...

mmc: Ohgi-kun is your real name, right? It's a rare name.

Ohgi: Well, yeah.

Ohgi: But if you say that, Momochi-kun's name is rare too, isn't it?

mmc: Haha, that’s true. I was a little confused at first myself.

Ohgi: Oh… but that's your real name too, right?

mmc: Yeah.

mmc: But originally it was a pretty common name, and I suddenly had to start living with my father in the middle of elementary school.**

Ohgi: I see. Sorry. I guess I asked something unnecessary.

mmc: No, it's fine…

mmc: Just keep it a secret from everyone else, okay? I still don't know everyone very well.

Ohgi: Of course. Me too.

Ohgi: I'll pretend I didn't hear anything.

[05:34]

Shizuru: Oh, here they come. Welcome.

Yamato: Hey, Shizu. I parked the car in the usual spot, so can you keep it until tomorrow?

Yamato: If it's in the way, feel free to move it.

Yamato: OK, here's the key.

Shizuru: Got it. I'll tell the staff later.

mmc: What about Ohgi-kun and Akkun? Are they working today too?

Shizuru: Mhm. They're coming from the job site, so they'll be a little late.

Shizuru: They said it was okay to start without them, though.

Yamato: By the way, the inside of the store looks so different now!

Yamato: Did you buy this grand piano?

Shizuru: No, I just had the one from my house brought here.

Shizuru: To be honest, I haven't used it much.

Shizuru: But it seemed like a waste to just leave it as a decoration.

Shizuru: Hey, Momochi-kun, don't you notice something?

mmc: Huh? Notice what?

Shizuru: Well, I guess not.

Shizuru: Maybe it's hard to tell since the scale is different. I tried to make it look like a stage, with a little more height.

Shizuru: Remember the bar you took me to, Momochi-kun? The one near the old apartment you used to live in.

mmc: Eh?

Yamato: Oh, yeah, I remember now! Now that you mention it, it does look a little similar!

mmc: Wait, did we go to that bar together?

Yamato: We did! I remember that you took me out once a while ago, don't remember when it was though.

*shiny sfx flashback*

[07:13]

Yamato: Oh, I see. Fine. Mhm, see you later!

Yamato: No good, Ohgi can't make it today either.

Shizuru: Aw, really? So it's just the two of us in the end? Akkun is overseas now.

Yamato: We had plans for a private get-together after such a long time.

Yamato: In that case, let's try inviting Momochi-kun, even if it's a long shot~

Shizuru: Or rather, I'll just lure him in suddenly*. His apartment is quite close by, right?

Yamato: Definitely, definitely! Shall we go and see if he's up for it?

[08:05]

Shizuru: Huh, they're playing live music. That's amazing.

mmc: Yeah, it's a nice atmosphere here, isn't it?

Yamato: Do you come here often, Momochi-kun?

mmc: Not really that often... Oh, I'll have the usual.

Shizuru: Alright, then I'll have the same.

Yamato: Me too!

Yamato: By the way, sorry for just showing up at your apartment like that~! I didn't think you'd have a friend over. Is it okay that you came out to the bar, Momochi-kun?

mmc: Eh? Yeah, don’t worry. It's her friend who is visiting… ha ha…

Shizuru: Are you close with your girlfriend's friends? I envy that.

mmc: W-well, not really "close"...

mmc: Anyways, Yamato-kun, are you okay with being taken to a bar like this? I thought you said you were driving earlier...

Yamato: Yeah, I'll take a taxi back, so it's okay.

Yamato: I have another car at home, so I'll just leave it in the parking lot and pick it up when I have time.

mmc: Oh, I see. That's good, then.

[09:22]

Shizuru: Oh, do you think someone else will sing next?

mmc: Ah, yeah, that's right. That person is the resident singer here. Sometimes they play just the piano, like earlier.

Shizuru: Oh, I see. So singing is more of the main thing? I’m looking forward to it.

Yamato: By the way, what about you, Momochi-kun? What do you think of their singing? Is it good?

mmc: Eh? …Oh, yeah. They're pretty good, you know?

Shizuru: If you ask Momochi-kun, it's kind of unfair to the singer, don't you think? I mean, he can sing so well, so it's only natural to have high standards, right?

Shizuru: By the way, I've been wondering about this for a while now…

Shizuru: Momochi-kun, why did you start doing music? Was there a particular reason?

mmc: Huh?

mmc: Let me see... I didn't consciously start doing it myself, but I just naturally started doing it through my relationships with people around me... And there was a piano at home since I was little.

Shizuru: Hmm... Oh, could it be that your parents were also in the music industry?

mmc: No, it's not that big of a deal? Oh, look, it's starting.

[10:52]

mmc: Oh, yeah. I think something like that might have happened.

mmc: I see, you liked that bar. I stopped going there much after that, and I've moved since then.

Shizuru: The atmosphere was good, but above all, isn’t it the best being able to drink while listening to live music by a professional singer?

Shizuru: I want to hire an exclusive singer at my place too. It could be every weekend or every other week.

Shizuru: Does anyone know a good person? We have a piano, so they could incorporate that too.

Yamato: Shizuru can just play it himself.

Yamato: Oh, and how about Momochi-kun singing? Cheers would definitely be happy!

mmc: Eh?

Shizuru: Hmmm, I wasn't really planning on playing it myself.

Shizuru: But if Momochi-kun is going to sing, that's a different story.

Shizuru: We could make it a reservation-only event for that day.

mmc: But if we’re going to do it, we should do it properly as a Veronica live, right? I mean, isn't that what everyone wants?

mmc: This place is great but the number of tables is limited, and there will be many people who won't be able to come to listen if we do it this way… ne?

Yamato: Certainly~ If Momochi is going to sing, this place will be full in seconds.

Shizuru: Hey, don't say things like "this place." We can accommodate twice as many people as when we first opened.

Ohgi: Oh, sorry, I'm late.

Shizuru: Welcome! In fact, you're earlier than I expected.

Yamato: I wonder if Akkun is still on his way?

Yamato: Let's wait until everyone is here to make a toast. For now, let's get started, shall we?

mmc: Y-yeah. We'll just be even more delayed if we wait.

Shizuru: Okay, then let's have some hors d'oeuvres brought in for now.

Shizuru: What's everyone having to drink first?

Ohgi: I'm fine with anything.

Yamato: Actually, what do you have today? I want to choose~!

Shizuru: Um, today we have... Hey, let me show you what's in the cellar.

*"いきなりと釣っちゃう" (ikinari to tsuruccha) in this context means "to suddenly invite (someone)". The idiom "釣る" (tsuru) literally means "to fish".

**I believe Momochi means that he used to have a common last name, until he had to move in with his father in elementary school - and took on his father’s rare last name…? ;; the momochi lore ahh

[kitkatt0430]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for the tag @goldheartedchaoticdisaster :D

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Writing fanfic was something I just started doing because I wanted to have more Voyager stories about Seven of Nine when I was still pretty young. Actually posting up fanfics I'd written? Junior High, I think - so preteens/early teens - when a friend introduced me to the wonderful world of Fanfiction.net; I started reading fic and worked up the courage to actually post my own after a bit.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

51? I think? It's at least that many, anyway.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I joined FFnet in 2002 so let's just go with 22 years. I did write some stuff before that, but none of it was posted and all of it is lost.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I read more, but I certainly do write a lot. :D

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I've gotten a lot better at world building. But also establishing initial characterizations and making character growth make sense.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not necessarily weird, but I've looked up information on various degrees and how long they take to complete as well as different types of power of attorney - yes, there is more than one! - and the different ways they apply.

7. What’s your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I like the comments that have reactions to different parts of the fic/chapter and maybe favorite quotes as they read along. Those are the types of comments I like to leave most too.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Lol, does writing a Fringe/Flash crossover fic count? ;)

I've got some pretty rare pairs that I've written for - Reverb/HR and Savitar/Reverb and Savitar/Eobard are probably the most rare thus far but I find I enjoy the challenge of rare pairs that are of the ships that pass in the night variety so I may wind up with more very rare pairs as time goes on.

There's been a few experimental-ish fics I've written, like Spiral which… I'm not really sure how to describe the style for that fic.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

I struggled a lot with the ending to You Must Live (For Me) because it was a bad guys win fic and so I knew from the start I'd be killing off Iris. But it was still difficult to do.

So overall I think fics that kill off main characters in some way? I don't write that often, but even just the aftermath of such a thing can be really difficult to write. Grief is just… hard to write because it hurts so much.

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluffy, silly fics. Things like Buzz Buzz often just flow easily because they're silly and fun.

But often also fics that address things I feel strongly about. Not always - sometimes I get in my own way with those fics - but sometimes that strong emotion will just carry me through writing something until suddenly I have an entire fic. Seeress was definitely one of those where replaying the ending of Final Fantasy 13-2 where the bad guy has basically pulled a 'heads I win, tails you lose' scenario (which the final game rectifies) had me speculating on how some of the foreshadowing in the game indicated there could have been a different ending to things.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

On my computer - though a tablet + keyboard combo will do in a pinch. Rarely on a notebook these days because I can't guarantee I'll find the motivation to transcribe it later, though notebooks are a good place for making story notes instead of fic writing.

I'll typically use LibreOffice because it's easy to use and free. I'll also use Notion, which has a free tier and is good for when I want to be able to work on a fic from my tablet or on a different computer from usual.

For my sins… sometimes I'll write a fic directly into Ao3's editor.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I'm trying to get better at making 'one day' become 'today' when it comes to this sort of thing. I feel like my Flash/Fringe crossover series falls into this because what I want to do for the series is ambitious and so while I don't want to bite off more than I can write (as it were), I don't want to keep putting it off because it makes me worry I won't do it justice. I won't do it anything at all if I don't at least try.

13. What made you choose your username?

My sister picked it out when she helped me make my first email account as a kid and I've been partial to it ever sense. Kitkatt0430 is in many ways as much my name now as my real name. I've used it for FFnet, my short lived attempt at Live Journal, Ao3, Tumblr (though I have Starstruckpurpledragon here too), and a few other places.

@sophiainspace @coldflasher @incorrectcoldflashblog @terrie01 @fezwearingjellybananas & anyone who wants to play :D

[achronicwitch]

My Coding Journey

as a chronically ill nana 👩‍🦳 🛌 💻 💊

I've been thinking about learning to code for a while now. It's a skill that I could use in many ways to benefit my family and others. The problem is my chronic illness symptoms get in the way of everything. Trying to code while face down on the keyboard probably wouldn't work. On the other hand, if I wait until I "feel better" I won't achieve anything.

So, I've decided to record my journey of learning to code while maintaining my baseline. Hopefully it'll keep me on track and help someone else in my situation.

Day 1: 🥄🥄

I only looked after the grandcritter for an hour, with the husband's help, so I had a tiny bit of energy to Do Things with. I hoarded it at first, doing what I call Productive Rest, listening to YouTube videos while crocheting a new snack mat for my desk.

One of the videos I watched lit a fire under my 🍑 -- How I Learned to Code in Six Months and Got a Job Offer by Smoljames. He laid it all out very clearly and concisely, with the steps he took, where he oopsed, and what he did right. He fast tracked his coding education, but the video got me thinking that maybe I can slow it down while still making progress. I listened to it a couple of times, then dragged myself upright and took action.

Step one, sign up for GitHub. And right away I ran into a problem. I didn't receive the verification email. I had it re-sent, and still nothing. I squinted at the form and yep, in my brain fog I misspelled my email address. Irkitating, but fixable. But fixing it took my spoons and chucked them down the garbage disposal unit.

Long rest, during which I hung out with my husband, finished the snack mat, took care of the grandcritter again, and gathered my spoons. Then I set a timer for twenty minutes to prevent sitting long enough to flare my arthritis, and moved on to...

Step two, I signed up for FreeCodeCamp.org. I meant to just poke around, but before I knew it the timer went off and I was 15% through the first lesson. The dopamine! I didn't want to stop! But part of the point is doing this while staying within my current baseline.

Day 2: 🥄🥄🥄

I didn't sit down to code until late, and spent the entire twenty minutes stuck on one problem because of a 🤬 typo in the example they gave me. (Maybe learning to code during Mercury Retrograde wasn't my brightest idea.)

Day 3: 🥄

And now there's no example, or instructions even. Thankfully I found the answer on the forum and got it on my second actual attempt.

Either the instructions are vague/nonexistent or my brainfog is bad. I couldn't figure out the next one, either. We're told to do the thing but now how to do the thing. But there was an article on the site.

That's how it is now? Bugger. Maybe it's building on the previous lessons in ways I haven't been able to see? Part of the problem is it's all typing, and I learn best with a pen in my hand. I need to figure out how to proceed.

On the plus side I'm getting a streak going, of spending twenty-ish minutes a night studying coding.

[satans-codpiece]

Listen man, your writings feel like early comings of Christmas, I gotta do something in return, however small. Still shy af hence anon ask but hey, better than nothing ;-D

Oooooh, NOICE, looking forward to that prequel, whenever (or if?) it comes out 👀 (also my dumbass forgot to mention last time, Ram being flustered about his own dick in EY was adorable I can't-) YEEEES OH MY GOD EXACTLY- More or less everything he's had to endure all boils down to his specific model, so no wonder he was afraid of accidents... now though? Not like he has much else to loose, 99.9% of R-7000s are already gone and his own reputation is beyond repair anyway so what does the opinion of other people matter? He CAN still hurt reader which sucks by itself but he's willing to put up with his fear and I just, I'm done dude who designed this fucking character-

LMAO I defaulted to hanahaki as I assumed the whole unrequited-but-actually-requited-love thing with maybe a dash of a near death experience is an easy gateway for all the piv you could possibly want... Never mind me then, sounds like you had other plans XD And speaking of.... what do the good people of Tumblr have to do to motivate you to finish those last 4 paragraphs and hand it over? 👀 Don't care it ain't smutty I have a Need. Want another questionable anon link to horny Ram art for the motivation or something? wink wink...

PFFFFFFT Yes please, the more employees openly thirsting after Ramattra the higher the chances of new lore??? Maybe???? PLEASE??? WHEN IS THE NEW SET OF PVE MISSIONS COMING OUT I NEED MORE- ... Okay why are these asks so long, AAAAAAaaaaa- I'm sorry for being distracting >.<

fdsf re: Ramattra's dick, I mean!!! Imagine how absurd it is, you kidnap your ex and in HOPES that they'll love you again you BUILD a sex toy for them??? He's so embarrassed about his own neediness honestly.

Yes exactly! When he was bearing the weight of being a peace-advocating member of the Shambali, accidentally hurting anyone would've been such a nightmare for him. It only matters now in that he doesn't want to hurt you, the repercussions on which Reader has pretty outright stated are none since they understand that accidents happen.

Hahaha, honestly I think the reason I didn't finish it was because someone had proposed the original EY prompt in my askbox and that kind of set off a chain of events that meant EVERYTHING got tabled until EY was finished.

BUT I MEAN OH NOOOOO how could I ever continue working on Ramattra fics without the appropriate horny art???? whatever will I do????? *languishes at my keyboard*

GOD I KNOWWWW I hate so, so much that they've backburnered their actual storyline stuff :( Like, I got into OW because of the cool universe and characters, not because it's a FPS or has active esports, you know? So I've been waiting on story stuff for years and then they just had to go and make the BBEG so fucking hot and then only put out THREE FUCKING MISSIONS FKJDGJDKLSG

Supposedly I know the original timeline said new missions would be out "in 2024" so. hey. brightside, yknow?

And you're not distracting at all!!! I'm a terrible writer who thrives only on external motivation so shit like this keeps me active LMAO

[sys128]

I sometimes find it hard to get into a new habit, even if it benefits me in the long run! I can't even count how many examples of this I can give, because they all and the same way: I do it for a few days but it almost never lasts! I personally believe that it will become an issue in adulthood. Usually, the human brain develops until the age of 25. And that age is fast approaching, even though I'm almost 18. It might only be a matter of time for these habits are ingrained in my brain permanently, and will therefore be much harder to solve. I have tried many ways to combat this procrastination issue, but finding a solution is quite difficult. I always seem to find some way to snap out of it and continue doing the things I have been doing instead of the things that I should be doing.

That isn't to say that it never works, however. I have managed to maintain a month-long streak by learning Japanese on Duolingo and continue to rely on other sources to get the job done, so obviously I am capable of building some sort of habit. Another example of this is how I've managed to become fluent in another keyboard layout. But there are so many other things that I wish to do going forward, especially when it comes to YouTube. I have been very on and off about video production, which has resulted in months and months between videos, which I don't think the audience would appreciate if this continues. I need to find some sort of way to continue work on them more often than how I'm approaching them at the moment. It would have to be in a way that is most comfortable for me whilst also getting quality work done. Over the past year or so, this has been the greatest challenge I have ever confronted, and continues to be to this day. I figure writing about it will jump start me finding a process to this madness.

Perhaps I can always come back to old ideas and give them another try. One of these old ideas is putting something at stake and acting on it depending on the outcome. Like for example, I wanted to prevent myself from doing something I wanted to if I didn't get something done first. I think I want to try this again, because it sounds like something that would be very effective. Looking back at my childhood, this was very effective in getting my chores done, because I couldn't access my video games until then. Even though this was years ago, that does not mean that this could still apply to present me. Another old idea that comes from my childhood is scheduling. When I was in around 4th grade, I was often supervised by another teacher because I had pervasive developmental disorder, and one of the things that they found that ended up helping me was having a second schedule on my desk that laid out the things that happened during that day. I also have a friend that schedules things 30 minutes ahead of time. (He even calls these things "keyterms.") Using that sort of way of scheduling, it is easier to keep track of what you want to do at that specific time. It seems to be very effective on him, and have been thinking about doing something similar for a while. The reason why I think this will work better than some other methods I've tried is because I tend to jump to the next thing kind of quickly. There are times where my mind is more in a "hyperactive" state rather than completely focused on one thing, whereas other times, the opposite is the case.

I hope to solve this mystery within the next year so it will not be an issue when I become an adult. This would end up helping me in a lot of areas, especially things with deadlines because I have seem to have a little bit of trouble with that. Maybe instead of deadlines, I can focus on getting a little bit at a time each session. But maybe I can't do this with everything, because school assignments rely very heavily on deadlines, so there will be exceptions. Other than that, I think there are ways to solve it, but I have been all over the place in terms of how I'm going about solving it, but I hope I find it one day.

[inkrabbit]

Journal Entries - 1961

The pages are worn, though the ink hasn't faded. These pages, however, show more wear and tear than the previous year.

01/01/1961

The boys were skeptical about the fireworks at midnight. Well, everyone but Ares. He had seen them go off every year before he died. He said he and his family would go to the city and watch the display until there were no more. It's nice hearing stories about their pasts. It makes me feel like I know them more.

Sister had spoken of “changes” being made around the ministry to bring in the new year. She said that, since I have spent almost a year getting to know my boys, it was time for them to start learning their instruments. Neptune had taken the bass pretty quickly. He keeps plucking at the strings and his tail keeps moving behind him. It reminds me of an excited puppy. I suppose he just likes the sound.

Silvanus was surprised to see the drum set and had even commented about how far along music had come in what felt like such a short amount of time. I had to agree with him, but he picked up the drumsticks and tested out each drum and cymbal. He seemed to pick it up quick. I'm proud of him.

Notus was hesitant with the keyboard at first. He confessed he could only play the piano. Poor thing looked so ashamed. It took a few minutes before he finally tried it. Just like Neptune, his tail started moving when he saw it was almost the same as a piano. He can play so beautifully. I have no doubt in my mind that he'll be able to eventually make some amazing music for us to play with.

True to his word, Ares could play the guitar. I watched him from afar for a bit. He got back into the rhythm of it pretty quick. He even called Astraeus over and told him to pick up a guitar himself. I had feared I would've had to risk getting my head bitten off asking Ares to teach Astraeus so he could be our rhythm guitarist, but he seems to already be doing that job himself. Maybe all of this won't be so bad after all.

02/15/1961

She doesn't want them in the guest rooms anymore. Sister said that those rooms are reserved for the outside public that are curious about the ministry and that they shouldn't be forced to stay in the same building as the ghouls. She also thinks they're unpredictable and that they'll kill some unsuspecting person. She wants to move them to the basement. I feel so bad, but I've managed to buy my boys some time. She agreed that the boys can stay there while I work on another solution. I already have an idea.

However, in return, I have to take care of all of the costs, planning, phone calls. Everything under the sun. But it will be worth it for them.

02/25/1961

I've thought up of a plan for the boys. I want them all to have their own living quarters with their own rooms. They seem to do well in the guest rooms together, so I suppose them being in their own “home” wouldn't be too bad. Astraeus had mentioned that most ghouls in Hell would have “dens,” especially when they haven't been summoned for a while. I know it's a big project, but I've managed to get enough money to make the idea happen. 

I've talked to the boys individually about what they would want. Astraeus wanted shelves and a desk for his scrolls. He still likes to write poetry. I thought some built-in bookshelves would be nice for him. I want all of my boys to have room, so I figured a good size bed will make them happy. I also thought of somehow incorporating a small shelf on the headboard of his bed. 

I have to be careful about this, but I want Neptune to have a pond in his room. He also made a little... hut??? gesture??? When I asked if he wanted a hiding spot like a cave, he just nodded his head and smiled, so I suppose that's what he also wants. He also seems very fond of the marine life in the lake. I wonder if I could do something with that? I think I'll also have to make his floor out of stone. Too much water could be trouble.

Notus said he just wanted something cozy, and also somewhere to read his books. I've seen some people have those lofts in their homes. I wonder if I could do that for him? Put it above his bed so he has a secure place to sleep. The loft can cut the room in half, and the top can be some built-in bookshelves. Maybe some soft blankets and a chair for him. I can always bring up a catalog for the boys to choose the styles they like. Notus also said that he preferred softer, brighter colors. I could probably make that work.

Silvanus said he wanted large windows – as big as I could get them. He says the sunlight will be good for his plants, but he doesn't care for much. His only special request aside from the windows is a canopy bed. He says that sometimes he'll wake up at night with the dread that something is watching him, and he wants to hide away easier. I don't know what's watching him, but I can certainly make the bed happen, especially if it makes him happy.

Ares, however, was the most surprising. He said he didn't care what he got, so long as he got his own room. I had made a joke about putting him in the basement, and he just shrugged and said “okay.” So now I guess the boys are getting a basement as well. When I asked about a design, he just told me “brick.” Brick walls, stone floors, nothing really flammable. Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to, but he seemed sad when he told me that. I don't want to put him in a cold prison. I'll have to look for things that won't burn easily, but will also make him feel comfortable. I hope I'm capable of doing all of this.

03/05/1961

Neptune is really attached to that bass. Anytime he's not in his room or helping a sibling, he's in the practice room just strumming away. His tail is always moving too, and he seems so happy playing it. I've listened outside a few times. He's getting good. I've gone in a few times and watched him, asked him if he was happy with it. He nodded, but he also looked back at the drums. He made a downward gesture, then cut through it with his finger. I thought he might've been trying to sign the upside-down cross, but he shook his head and drew it out on the floor. An upside-down triangle with a line through it. It took me a little bit to realize that he was talking about Silvanus. It took some time, but he eventually got it across that Silvanus had offered to teach him the drums, and Neptune would teach him bass. I don't know which one they'll decide to stick with, but whatever they decide, I'll support them.

05/10/1961

I don't get how someone could do this. Just when everything was going right.

Someone summoned a ghoul, but it wasn't right. It didn't listen to commands and it didn't take too kindly to anyone approaching it. It lashed out the second the Brother tried to get close. Ares was the first one to get between them, followed by Astraeus. Seeing them fight was like something you would see in a horror movie, but my boys fought together so well. However, Ares did get cut. A couple scratches to his cheek. Deep enough to bleed, but I don't think it didn't look too bad.

He won't talk to me, however. When I tried to clean him up, praise him for his good job, he stayed silent. I wonder if he blames me for the ghoul. I wonder if that made him hate me more than he already seems to. When I offered to put some bandages on it, he seemed defensive and told me he was fine before he stormed off. I don't know what I could've done to avoid all of this. 

06/15/1961

We've been making progress with the dens. Sister is adamant about the boys sleeping in the basement, but I've been able to charm her time and time again. So long as I can keep her happy, I can let them stay in the guest rooms. 

She got upset one night, demanded that they be kicked out and banned from there. I calmed her down, got her her favorite things, and waited until she fell asleep before I led the boys back in there. I don't know why, but Ares, Astraeus, and even Silvanus didn't seem to want to follow at first. I had to reassure them multiple times that it was okay before they finally moved. I don't know what the problem was.

06/30/1961

I asked Silvanus if there was a reason why he and the others were so apprehensive about going back to the guest rooms after previously being kicked out by Imperator. He said he couldn't speak for the others, but confided in me that his previous summons weren't kind to him. He said that his previous masters had pulled at his antlers, teeth, and tail, and that they had forced him to fight other ghouls for their amusement. Defenseless or not, he had to find a way to fend for himself. He seemed ashamed. I wish I could make it all better.

07/02/1961

I don't get it. I've asked Ares to get me things before, and while he'll sometimes roll his eyes or huff, he always does it. But this time I asked him to bring me something from the supply closet and he snapped at me. He growled and swatted at me like he was some feral animal and I was a threat to him. Maybe I should've just saved myself the trouble and got it myself without asking, but I had been swamped with work. But then I tried and asked him to get me something from the library, and he went off and did it. I want to ask him if there's something wrong with the supply closet, but I'm worried he'll become hostile at the very mention of it.

07/18/1961

Silvanus has scars on his back. I saw them, only just barely. I had entered the guest room while he was getting dressed, and his back was to the door. They didn't look like they had happened at the ministry, but they looked deep. I don't know if it was right to, but I had asked about them. 

He told me. He told me that they were from his last summon. He told me that he was going to lose the fight and he panicked. He broke away from the ghoul he was fighting and killed their master so they would be forced back, but before they were dragged down, the ghoul got a good swipe in at his upper back. 

He says that ghouls naturally heal, but sometimes they need extra time for worse injuries. He didn't want my pity. He just told me that that's how life is sometimes. I'm not sure I like that bleak outlook.

07/21/1961

The chat with Silvanus gave me the confidence to talk to Ares. While he sorted through paperwork in my office, I asked him about his outburst when I asked him to go to the supply closet. He tells me that it wasn't the task that upset him; it was the location. When I asked about it, he finally opened up to me. He died in a broom closet at the age of 28. He doesn't know how it happened, but he said his friends caught the house on fire and left him for dead in the broom closet. He couldn't get the door open. He burned. After that, he just hates small rooms with only one exit. 

He said it was ironic that after his death, he became a fire ghoul. He viewed it as some sick joke and just supposed it was his punishment for something heinous he couldn't remember doing in his human life. I think I'm starting to get why he is the way that he is. 

09/15/1961

I've seen Silvanus strumming the bass today. It's funny. I've noticed that he doesn't have claws like the others, but it helps him play a lot easier. I asked him if he would prefer the bass over drums, but he just shook his head. While he was interested in eventually learning most of the instruments, he said he felt most comfortable behind the drum set. At least it's something I know he likes.

09/20/1961

I could never find Notus before. He showed up to practice and for meals, sure, but other than that, I could never find him. He didn't roam the halls. He wasn't outside. He wasn't even in “his” room in the guest room.

I found him today in the library, tucked all the way in the back and just quietly reading. Had I not needed an old book from back there, I wouldn't have ever found him. But there he was, sitting on the floor with the book close to his face and just reading. I feel bad, but it was a little amusing watching him jump when I had cleared my throat to get his attention. I asked him about it, and he told me that he loved this part of the library because no one ever went back there. No one could bother him and he could just read. He seemed interested in the old books no one ever cared about. He said that he found the old, forgotten books interesting, especially because they were just the same as every other book. And from what he had shown me, he was right. Old text, scriptures, and sketches I never would've thought to exist.

I decided that keeping his little hiding spot a secret would've been best.

10/21/1961

The boys seem excited for Halloween to be coming up. They've asked if they could go to the town nearby. They want to see the outside world and how it's changed. Sister doesn't think it's a good idea, but I wouldn't mind going with them. It would be fun! I also doubt that my older boys would know about the more modern candy we have. They seemed to take to some of the treats around other holidays, but we didn't have too much Halloween candy last year. I'm curious to see their reactions to everything.

Ares has made the comment that we could also pick up a sacrifice for them while in town. I don't like that thinking, but Astraeus and Silvanus had agreed. I feel like they're going to be the ones that cause all of the trouble, and I'm not sure

The rest of the paper has been ripped off, making the rest of the entry and year unreadable.