#I'm still intensely dysphoric

[kyofsonder]

Me, feeling dysphoric, angrily scolding my T patch: Do your job!

Me, a second later, gently patting the patch: Sorry, that isn't fair. E has been doing its thing for years, ever since first puberty started, and you haven't even had a month to catch up yet. You're doing your best. Keep at it. I'll try to be more patient.

[uncanny-tranny]

One thing I really enjoy about transition is when the changes in hormones slow down...

It feels like I am a house settling, shifting ever-so-slightly, and becoming one with this new foundation.

I don't have a "typical" body, but so do the other guys in my family. I look like them now. I've been told I looked like my father when he was a teenager, and I feel as though I am in the mentality I need to be in.

So many people are excited when they get all these new changes all at once, and then they might become disappointed when their second puberty starts to slow down, but I find I am the opposite. I am so much more at peace than I was before, and that's saying something when I was at peace a month into my changes.

[james-is-here]

Okay so I didn't send you this request before because i thought you were cis and wouldn't understand period shit but I saw your post about having a uterus and hating it (fucking same) and um j was wondering if you'd be comfortable with writing ftm!reader distancing himself from channie because he's on his period and feels very dysphoria and although he's out to chan this is his first period around him that made him feel so fucking dysphoric and just distances himself and then channies finally gets a hold of him and they talk and reader breaks down and shit and uts like a best friends to loves stuff and just hurt/comfort

But jamie if youre not comfortable with this idea or it'd hive you heavy thoughts then please don't do it yeah? I don't want you to get sad or feel bad about anything🫂🫂❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Be safe and take care please🫂❤️‍🩹

This was actually kinda therapeutic to write 😊 I hope it's okay 😅

The studio was flooded with the harsh glow of fluorescent lighting, casting a stark brightness that illuminated every corner of the room. Its piercing beams cut through the air, creating sharp contrasts and casting deep shadows. The light poured down on the papers and laptop resting on the desk, their surfaces gleaming under the intense glow.

You, a fairly recently hired producer, sat engrossed in your work at your desk, your attention shifting back and forth between the laptop screen and your contemplations.

Every now and then, you absently touched your chest, a subconscious gesture you've habited stemming from the top surgery you had undergone a few months earlier, still beyond euphoric that you were able to get such a surgery.

Usually, you find comfort in your musical endeavors, but today was different. A sense of unease and discomfort that you hadn't experienced since before you got your surgery, a painful reminder of your past. The dysphoria weighed heavily on you, with each stabbing tightness in your abdomen you felt more and more insecure and hollow, clouding your focus and making it challenging to concentrate.

The door swung open and Chan, the vibrant leader of Stray Kids, entered with his characteristic enthusiasm, his face adorned with a beaming smile. "Hey there! Can I borrow your talents on this track? I feel like there's something missing and need another listener and the others are busy." He said with a smile, presenting a USB stick.

You managed a weak smile in return as you accepted the USB from Chan. "Sure." You said, inserting the drive into your laptop. Chan furrowed his brow as he picked up on the lack of enthusiasm in your voice. "You okay, mate?"

Taking a deep breath, you quickly replied with a short exhale, "Yeah, just feeling tired," as you turned your attention back to your laptop. "But don't worry, I'll give this a listen and give it back with my thoughts."

During the following days, you gradually withdrew from your friends and colleagues. You began to dismiss invites to eat with the others in Chan’s group, steer clear of conversations with others, and immerse yourself in your work. Managing the physical discomfort of your period, along with the emotional burden of dysphoria, made it increasingly challenging for you to interact with others, including your dear friend Chan.

With each passing day, Chan became increasingly worried. One day, he reached a breaking point, annoyed with being ignored, and took action. He found you in the studio usually reside in, completely immersed in the music with closed eyes and headphones on. Chan quietly entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Mn," he called softly, but with a firmness that demanded attention. Your eyes snapped open, and you quickly removed your headset, feeling a surge of surprise, "Chan? Hey, what brings you here?"

"We need to talk," Chan said, his voice leaving no room for argument. "You've been avoiding us, more me, for days. What's going on?"

You averted his gaze, wrapping your arms around yourself. "It's nothing. I'm just... dealing with some personal issues."

Chan moved closer, his furrowed brow revealing his growing concern. "Mn, we've faced so much together since we met. You know you can talk to me so why are you pushing me away?”

Your eyes filled with tears as you felt the weight of your emotions growing. "It's just... I'm on my period, Chan. It's the first time since we've been friends that it's happened, and I just feel so...weak and ashamed and…not myself. I didn't know how to handle it around you."

Chan's eyes widened in surprise as he absorbed the unexpected revelation. For a brief moment, a wave of hurt washed over his features, his brow furrowing in confusion and pain. "So you thought it'd be best to avoid me? Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked, his voice tinged with a mix of disbelief and hurt. "Do you not trust me enough?”

You flinched at the hurt in Chan's voice, your tears spilling over. "I didn't want to be a burden! I-I d-didn't want you to s-see me like this. S-see me so weak a-and tired a-and in pain. I already felt like a burden before but I didn't want to make it worse…”

As Chan listened, he noticed you withdrawing into yourself, folding your arms tightly around your body, and curling into yourself as if seeking to vanish. In that moment, Chan's anger dissipated and regret for snapping took over. Slowly, Chan approached you, pulling you up out of your chair, and embracing you tightly as he placed his chin on top of your head.

"Hey, it's okay," Chan whispered, his voice gentle. "I'm here for you, Mn, you're never a burden. I'm sorry for snapping, that wasn't right for me to get upset. We'll get through this together, okay? The rest of the week, I'll be by your side."

Mn nodded against Chan's chest, his body shaking with sobs. "Thank you, Chan," he whispered.

In the days that came after, You faced pain and a few tears, but Chan's support helped you start to regain your confidence and feel more like yourself. Chan provided solace through small acts of kindness, offering comforting beverages, sharing lighthearted jokes, and being a constant presence. As the week drew to a close, you found that your despair had lessened, and you were filled with a deep sense of thankfulness and admiration for Chan, emotions that were difficult to express fully in words.

As the evening enveloped them in the studio, the sound of the final mix filled the air. You turned to Chan with a gentle smile, "I don't think I could’ve made it through this week without you. I felt so shitty before…guess I had nothing to worry about

Chan smiled back, his eyes twinkling. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Without thinking, you leaned forward in your chair and press your lips to his. The moment felt like it stretched on forever before your eyes widened in shock at your own actions. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

But Chan quieted your rambles with a tender kiss, pulling you closer again. When he eventually pulled back, Chan leaned his forehead against yours. “Don’t be, I’ve wanted to do that for a while now." He leaves another peck to your lips and pulls back with a smile, raising his right hand to cradle your face, his internal coo becoming a soft giggle when you lean into his touch. "I'm so glad to see you back to your cheerful self, Mn."

You smiled, feeling a sense of belonging and acceptance that you've never experienced before. "Thank you, Channie…for everything."

Chan moved the both of you to the couch for a "Very Necessary Cuddle Session" he said in a very serious tone. As you two laid on the couch together, the music you helped Chan fix playing softly in the background, you knew that no matter what challenges came your way, you had a friend and more who would stand by and help you through it all.

[our-transmasculine-experience]

I'm a transmasc teen with a very feminine face (it's an oval in shape but I have very full cheeks so it looks more round?) and voice that makes it extremely difficult for me to pass even with short hair + a binder + dressing/otherwise presenting masculinely (plus I'm chinese american so yknow, the racism probably isn't helping me be perceived as masculine.)

but it also gives me a grudge against the idea that it's easy or "easier" to pass as a transmasc? it could be the dead of winter, I could be wearing 5 layers under a puffy jacket with all of my hair under a beanie, all of my clothes & accessories could be conventionally "masculine", and I would still get misgendered. obviously the aforementioned idea that passing is easy for transmascs is wrong and harmful for reasons not related to my personal experience, but those are just my two cents.

another oddly specific thing that makes me dysphoric is plots in media where closeted transmasc or female characters go undercover as male by 1) tucking long hair into a hat 2) wearing a bunch of layers 3) speaking in a slightly lower voice. I don't think there's anything objectively wrong with these and I'm glad they help a lot of people realize they were trans, it just makes me intensely jealous because I *wish* that were me, yknow? instead I put a fuckton of effort into being "masculine" and still get misgendered daily.

i'm so sorry about that. just remember that one day, you can pass, and your worth as a transmasc is not determined by how well you pass. the first mistake is comparing your transition to anyone else's, when it's unique to you.

best of luck, dude. i feel this.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Uncle Bryan! Oh my god I'm so happy you came! Have you heard the good news?" Staci asked, coming out of the water, bubbly as can be.

"You look as stunning as ever, Staci! And no..... what news?"

"Awww, I'm glad mom didn't spoil the fun! I'm detransitioning!"

"Wow, congratulations! That's so wonderful to hear--I was gonna say your voice sounds a lot deeper than I remember. Damn you've been living as a girl most of your life. What made you decide to detransition, darling?"

She shrugged. "I dunno! My boyfriend really wants to see me go through male puberty. We were only dating a month at the time but he's soooo into the idea of me living as a boy I decided to try it out for him!"

"Damn, he's a lucky guy. I'm glad you're open to trying this for him. You're gonna make a super handsome boy."

"Awww, thanks! He did warn me when we started dating that he's more into guys than girls and I told him it wouldn't be a problem, if he really wanted I could always detrans!"

"I'm so happy for you, I think you're gonna love being a guy, sweetie."

"I think so, too! Look at this!" Staci took out her cock, fully erect at eight inches. "I've only been on testosterone and steroids for three months and my cock has grown five inches! Look at how thick it is!"

"That's incredible! I remember you prancing around in those tiny tennis skirts last summer, that little cock of yours looked so stunted and limp. It's great to see you getting to enjoy a nice, full-fledge erection finally, and I bet your orgasms are so much more intense since you started detransitioning!"

"They. Are. Incredible!!! I jerk off like ten times a day, no lie, and I still have tons of energy for my bf to, well, have his way with me!"

"He's sounding luckier by the minute. Don't spoil him too much! You already look so much more masculine, your beard's even starting to come in."

Staci blushed. "I know! I'm getting a bit dysphoric but my bf wants me to let my body hair grow, and to rock stubble, but he's cool with me still dressing fem, of course! Oh, that reminds me.... I have a request!"

"What's that, darling?"

"Well..... I wanted your blessing because they were a gift. And I'm so happy you bought them for me when I turned 18! Those first two years of college wouldn't have been the same without them...."

"I think I see where this is going...."

Staci bit her lip, softly pumping her growing cock. "Please, Uncle Bryan, may I have the implants you bought me removed so I can get top surgery?"

"Of course, they're yours to do with as you please and if you want to get rid of them, by all means! I'd love to see you get your breasts removed if that's what you and your boyfriend want!"

"Yeah he's kiiiiinda grossed out by big boobs. He told me when we started chatting on Tinder and I assured him I could always get my implants taken out, I just needed my uncle's blessing, since they're a gift. He'll be so relieved I won't have boobs anymore! I'm kinda bummed they'll be gone but I just love pleasing him....."

"And that's what makes you a good girlfriend--well, boyfriend. I'll have to get used to you being a boy!"

Staci jerked her cock harder. "Me, too...... would you by any chance like to give me my T shot? It's that time of the day..... you can inject my testosterone and steroid shot right into my cock if you want..... just don't be surprised if the injections make me cum, they have that effect..... I think it might be fun to show you how my bf injects me...."

"I'd be honored to, I could use some bonding time with my new favorite nephew, after all."

[itsjaywalkers]

As the person asking for the reg nsfw headcanons (I pinky promise it’s me) I was thinking interviewer reg, but honestly anything works :)

i actually got two of these nonnie so . now i'm conflicted.. who's the original one huh..

but it's fine bc i'm nice like that and i love talking about my silly lil miserable guy (regulus) so !! sure u can have some interviewer reg nsfw hcs !! i love calling them hcs as if i'm not the author lmao

like i've already mentioned, he isn't super sexually active!! he does have some casual sex sometimes, to relieve stress and simply bc he enjoys it, but he's a very busy man (and fairly well-known too) so he's gotta be careful + has other priorities

regardless, he's a bit of a menace in bed

he knows what he wants and what he likes, and he's usually very confident in bed (apart of when he gets like . dysphoric yk) (which fortunately doesn't happen that often anymore)

he usually prefers anal not only bc he genuinely likes it but also . bc he isn't always comfy with using his front hole with ppl he doesn't trust/isn't close with, and it's easier to go for anal sex rather than going for his front hole just to realise that he isn't really feeling it and having to bring it up to his one night stand

this is different with james obviously!! not bc he has feelings, we all know that at the beginning is mere attraction, but bc he knows him

when they begin hooking up they're kinda close and despite how reg insists he can't stand him, there's some trust between them and james doesn't feel like a stranger!!

that being said, they also have anal sex ofc

like james, reg is also very switchy, but unlike him, he's very aware that he likes both, having control + relinquinshing it AND both topping and bottoming

he's kinda topped almost as much as he's bottomed tbh. but then again, he doesn't sleep around THAT often

he's veryyyy into spanking, both giving and receiving (impact play in general tbh)

tends to get quite loud

kinda into exhibitionism + vouyeurism but he didn't really know until james, bc again, he tends to be very discreet about his sex life, and never has it in outrageous places

the most public setting for him has been a cheeky blowjob in a club's toilets (again, until james)

isn't usually fond of pet names outside of sex but digs them when he's very horny (there's a shift in how he feels when james uses them once they start hooking up + when they begin dating)

loves to get choked during sex (also enjoys doing the choking, but prefers receiving)

more into hickeys and bruises than he'd like to admit but since his job doesn't allow to have these kinds of marks on display, he tends to not indulge in it, and always tells his partners to not leave anything on his skin

has toyed with bondage before, but nothing too intense or complicated

very into overstimulation

dacryphilia!! which he discovers thanks to james, when he begins topping him and makes him sob into the matress for the first time

has never seen the appeal of sex tapes or nudes and he's still not that much of a fan once he gets with james BUT they're both quite filthy and the thrill kinda does something to him + he likes watching himself and james have sex

as insatiable as james, gets horny easily but is a lot better at hiding it

praise kink!! and humiliation kink!! leans more towards the former tho

enjoys degrading james immensely

and we're gonna leave it there for now <3

[ackwaitno2]

The dysphoria gets easier, right?

CW: Detrans kink, somno, SA, sexism

You've been catcalled, ogled, threatened for years. It's made you so disillusioned with your gender, your sexuality, your body, sometimes when you're going about your day, you still get flashes in your mind of the time you dissociated when someone sat next to you on a crowded bus and he started pressing his hand over your skirt, slipping through the band and rubbing over your underwear since you weren't resisting, looking at you with in his periphery: deadpan from the shock overload. One things leads to another, trauma leads to dysphoria, and you start calling yourself a boy. Sometimes you get pent up from not touching yourself for so long, sometimes you beat yourself up over wishing you didn't feel this way, sometimes your frustration leads to thinking about the idea of putting something in your "front hole", which gets you so dysphoric you feel sick to your stomach.

Since we started dating; "non-sexual partners" you called us, we've been sleeping in the same bed. every now and then, cuddling when the fear of touch isn't too intense. What you don't realize is I've been waking up during the middle of the night and spending several hours a night grinding my girlcock against your pussy, making you squirm and whine in your sleep; nightmares. Yet your body cant help getting turned on from its base desire to sleeve someone.

Over time you start getting so confused and jumpy at work, guilty and tired when you're at home, and aroused and sweaty whenever you get ready for bed, you can't make sense of it. You feel sick all the time now, an anxious mess. You've been asking to cuddle more lately hoping squeezing me like a giant warm pillow will relieve the stress and doubt, to hold onto someone who'll protect you and knows what you've been through. You hold me so tight as you cuddle, trying to make it go away, but it takes so fucking much energy to prevent yourself from just sliding your panties just a little to the side, and sliding my cock all the way into you in one stroke. it really REALLY doesn't help when I keep saying its just natural for me to get hard when I'm in bed with someone with a pussy, you get wet whenever we're in bed too, right? Doesn't mean we actually want to have sex :) You cringe any time I use female words but you're too conflict-averse to tell me, and you feel even worse and wanting to hurt yourself when I keep saying I'm not interested in sex, yet here you are, the girlBOY, boy, thats been traumatized over years, that hasn't known peace for months, huffing from trying not to fantasize about my hand over your baby bump.

I don't mind waiting until you willingly give up. I'm comfortable in my lesbianism, and I know you'll be comfortable with yours too ^^

[apricotbuncakes]

Sander Sides fans: Did anyone else do this?

So when I was super-duper deep in the Sander Sides fandom (I'm still there just not as intensely!) I made my own sides, as many of us did. I decided to keep my creativity from splitting because I grew a love for macabre types of media very young, and never felt bad for enjoying it, even writing my own stories with morbid and gross themes. but that left me unbalanced because now I only had five sides instead of six, so what else should I have be a side? Well, I'm trans... so why not dysphoria!

And so, I designed a side based off of my dysphoria, the only girl side I have (the others are either guys or nonbinary with more masculine gender expressions). I wanted to make her evil, to make her intentionally rude, but I couldn't help but make her nice and kind like how I was when I was younger, which is why she's just oblivious to how she makes others feel rather than malicious because that's how I was. I was oblivious to how my comments may have hurt others.

So when she would talk to my other sides and try to give compliments, it had the unintended effect of making them self-conscious or dysphoric, and none of them told her this (because that's how I was in real life for a time: I didn't feel like I could tell people that they were causing me distress). She would tell my other sides that they look pretty, beautiful, ask them if they wanted to put on makeup or try cutsie outfits with her. She was alienated even in myself, because no one wanted to be around her, and she didn't understand why.

She didn't represent inherently bad things. She was the epitome of confidence, femininity, fun in self-expression. But it was the 'wrong kind' of self-expression (at least that's what I believed at the time). She didn't represent masculinity in the slightest, and it put the other sides off from her, because they had sworn it off the moment I came out as trans, because that's what would make people believe me when I said I was a boy. But they still needed her to be a scapegoat for all their bad body image issues, a model for what they should avoid doing. She was an example of 'bad' and 'wrong', even though she had been nothing but kind.

I made her a clown (the red curly hair, white foundation, all of it). She was frilly and pink, and very stereotypically feminine, something that I was struggling to admit that I actually liked when I first came out, cuz ya know, I wanted people to take me seriously as a trans guy (now I don't give a shit and wear what I want lol). She was a fun character though (and ended up inspiring the look for another OC). She was bubbly and cute, think Pinky Pie vibes. And because I wanted to pass it off and make it someone else's problem, I gave her my deadname.

I had heard of this trick where trans people name something else their deadname as a way to disconnect it from themselves and make them happier to hear it, because it remind them of something cool or cute, something they love. But I did it out of spite. And then... then I didn't.

Over time I stopped associating my deadname with myself, stopped responding to it most of the time. It was hers now, and not mine. And I was happy, because I designed someone who was happy to take that name away from me, happy to say that her name was Robin, and it was suddenly no longer my problem. And once everything she represented started to seem less and less bad (because she was a part of me, how could something she enjoy be bad?) I started to get more comfortable looking to her for outfit ideas. I asked myself "Would Robin approve of this? Would she like this outfit?" and then I no longer felt bad for wearing dresses and skirts and feminine things. I became happy and comfortable with it.

And then I rewrote the dynamics of my sides. They love her now, get confidence when she says they look pretty. They ask her for makeup advice and look to her for inspiration (even my creativity). She is no longer bad or wrong for being feminine, and it's what's made her so interesting.

The other sides don't always want to be feminine, and they've finally explained to her why. And she respects that, and only offers her opinions on their presentation when asked. And suddenly, my sides are at peace with each other.

So uh, yeah. Make yourself characters to represent parts of yourself. It's lots of fun and can also be super helpful for problem solving.

Here's my sides name in case you're curious: Logic: Arthur (Like King Arthur, because book nerd who likes fantasy lol) Morality: Milo (After the Milo and Otis movie) Creativity: Jackson (Named after a friend who inspires me) Anxiety: Clyde (No clue why, I just like this) Deceit: Avery (A very pretty name!) Dysphoria: Robin (Literally my deadname lol)

[msnihilist]

Seeing a BenRook pregnancy fic in the Outlining section was very funny to me for some reason. Did anything today make you think about that in particular, or was it just a spark?

Also, for Fear Factor: I know you've been wanting to rewrite that for a while. I know you're still outlining, but are there sections you really like from your original version? Or stuff you definitely want to change/remove?

Referencing my list of writing WIPs.

Honestly, I'm kind of always thinking about that pregnancy fic. Pregnancy fics are one of those tropes that can be really hit or miss for me? I don't usually enjoy next gen fics, so for me this is more about... The circumstances that might have brought this baby into existence, and what the characters are going to do about it.

I think it was sparked when I read a really good unplanned/teen pregnancy fic for another fandom, and the ending just... Got me thinking. That, and I love thinking about what kind of fucked up anatomy a Revonnahgander/human hybrid might end up with.

For one, I think that the child's legs would be fucked. Thanks to Revonnahganders having less dense/longer legs in general, the whole skeleton is kind of... Janky. The baby would not really be able to walk, probably ever. Not without intensive surgery and physical therapy, anyway.

The baby would probably have a more protruding jaw and sharper teeth. Flatter nose and more sunken in eyes. Thick hair growth on their body and a stubby growth from their tailbone.

It would look uncanny as fuck, is what I'm saying.

(And, obviously, Ben and Rook would love their baby just the same 💕)

That being said, I want to grapple with some of the tougher questions around a situation like this that Ben might have to make decisions on. Like, is it cruel to bring a deformed baby into existence? Is it more cruel to abort it, having never given it a chance to grow and decide for itself if life is worth living? Would it be selfish to keep his baby when the universe needs him to be its hero 24/7? Rook is so traditional, would Ben be trapping him in their relationship if he goes through with the birth?

And beyond that, how does Ben feel about himself? He's pretty sure that he doesn't want kids — not this young, anyway — and he feels incredibly dysphoric about the whole thing, which is only going to get worse. How can he be a man while pregnant? His sense of masculinity is tied to his physical state, so, without that...

Much to think about. This hypothetical pregnancy fic that I may or may not write is not going to be a happy, fluffy story.

As for Fear Factor, I want to rewrite chapter one (the only bit I've written anything for, anyway) because I don't think that the opening fight scene flows well at all.

But here's a snippet for you, Sammy, despite my eternal embarrassment at showing something less than perfect >_<

[desi-lgbt-fest]

Hi, so I've recently realised that I'm neither straight nor cis. And this has been making me overthink myself a lot because I keep thinking that if I feel like I'm neither straight nor cis am I really queer, or am I just some straight girl lying to myself to feel special? And these thoughts keep making me dysphoric. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this?

Straight up? This is the origin story of every gay person ever lmao. I remember having these Very Intense™️ feelings about girls as a teenager and then being like wow lmao that was a crazy glitch in my system. I'm gonna think about this random generic guy I made up really hard to cancel out whatever that was.

But honestly, Anon, most likely it's your brain and body fighting against what you've been socialized to learn and grow up with your whole life. You're still valid and you're not doing this for attention (no one in their right mind would ever deal with all of this for attention, and if they think they do, they end up being gay anyway). Maybe you don't have a name or label for all these feelings and thoughts right now, and that is PERFECTLY fine and normal. You are good and this is great progress. Sometimes it's good to overthink it a bit because at least you're paying attention to yourself and all these big emotions.

If it's too hard to sit with sometimes, then I recommend writing/drawing/or talking it out. Use your notes app or record yourself speaking so you can read/hear your thoughts and have them out there so you don't stew over them by yourself. Follow that up with affirmations and self-reflection. We are our harshest critics and it's helping no one if all we do is be mean to ourselves. If you feel like it, then share your insights in a safe space!!

By the way, this is helpful for anybody wanting to start self-reflection and journaling. It's actually proven through research that any kind of introspective work yields the same results as meditation and therapy!!

[fatuifucker]

omg while we’re on the topic of trans!harbingers imagine trans!pantalone [literally having the same brainrot as zhongli having boobs].

i desperately need to stuff my face into pantalones boobs (or pussy idrc)

spreading the trans harbingers agenda I see (also for anyone who is reading this from the tags, I'm trans)

[cw: dom trans! pantalone x sub gn reader, nipple + vaginal + tongue + navel piercings, leash usage, toys, office sex, subtle dottolone/pantorre implications]

I feel like Pantalone would get top surgery tbh. I mean, he has a doctor he's close partners with, no? Either way, there's one thing I'm sure of; he would get nipple piercings, specifically nipple dangles. Not just golden ones, no, silver is more of his colour. Silver with jewels attached to them. He would get piercings all over him, I think he wouldn't miss a chance to show off his money through jewellery. This includes several vaginal piercings and a tongue piercing that creates great simulation when he's giving oral. That is, if he feels like giving. He is a rather selfish man, after all.

If Pantalone didn't get top surgery and on days where he isn't feeling dysphoric, he would purposefully hug you tightly so you can feel his nipple dangles through his clothing. This would only be in places where the two of you would be alone, of course. Maybe as you're leaving for work and he's still naked in bed, he'll grab your head and squeeze you against his tits as he wishes you farewell, all while you're trying not to explode. Or before you leave his office, he'll press his body against yours, maybe even intertwining his legs with yours so you can feel all of his piercings against you as he gives you a quick peck on the lips.

He would also have several custom-made toys, including some intricately designed straps with different purposes. We have no confirmation of Pantalone's delusion if he has one, but for some reason, I'm thinking geo? Even if he doesn't have a geo delusion, maybe Dottore allows him to keep some delusions to sell or use for his own gain as a sign of their partnership (idk how likely that is but hey, this is my headcanon). And he would totally use this geo delusion to resonate with his strap — made mostly of cor lapis — to heighten the vibrations when he fucks you. He'll do the same when he uses one of those sharing dildos so both of you can feel the intense geo resonance.

I think Pantalone's work is mostly paperwork-heavy so he would have you under his office chair with a bejewelled leash and collar, tugging on it occasionally to shove your face deep into his pussy. Also he would absolutely ride your face until you suffocate like come on, don't you want to have a closer look at his piercings?

[double--cross-d]

Vent post but I need to air out my frustration and have people hear me. I feel over dramatic but I need this off my chest

So a few years ago (want to say 2022) I found out a fandom I was in had a lot of they/them it/its and even some characters with no/unspecified pronouns and I was really excited about it so I listed them all out and shared it on a fandom server I was in like "hey, look at all these Nonbinary characters in a show I like!" And the first comment I got. From someone I LOOKED UP TO. From someone I thought would LOVE something like this.

"Not a lot of she/hers in this huh"

...bitch what?

That was NOT the point. Why was THAT your take away? The show was marketed towards boys so I thought everyone would be a he/him but no there's Nonbinary characters and THAT'S WHAT YOU POINT OUT?

And that stuck with me, and not in a good way.

There are stories of mine I'm afraid to post because of that. Because despite the fact half of these people aren't cis, there's going to be someone there pointing out the lack of she/hers. And this lead me to struggle writing a lot of my characters.

I only recently decided to transition one of my characters because despite the intense transmasc coding of his story (being a model who ran away and changed his entire identity because he hated that people only saw him as he was) he used to be one of the only she/hers in the story, and I didn't want people being mad about that

I transitioned an agender characters pronouns from it/any to it/she because, despite the fact its ENTIRE DEAL is that it doesn't want to be seen as anything to the point its IDENTITY ITSELF reflects this, there's only one other she/her and I called it a she once and a he/they never (because it doesn't matter that there's no reason it'd want clear pronouns that give an image of something)

I briefly but genuinely considered making a character "just extremely butch" despite his whole deal being that he's an ex magical girl that left because it made him dysphoric because THERE'S NO SHE/HERS ON THE VILLAIN TEAM!

The person on the villain team I did she/her feels severely dampened down because as a he/him one would find these behaviors pathetic and disturbing but if its a she/her its automatically cute and acceptable, but she's still the only she/her on the team (and tbh I like her being she/her, but moments intended to show how small and pathetic she is/feels just don't work)

Even in my self indulgent gay fantasy, I can't escape because I realized recently that the fact I made a character He/She, despite the fact he was forcibly detransitioned for others enjoyment and joined a place he could punish those assholes, is because the only other characters that use she/her pronouns have it under the any tag

It's stupid, I feel like I'm over reacting but I'm genuinely afraid that people won't enjoy my things if there's not an equal amount of pronouns. All those stories I mentioned before have a primarily transgender cast, but because most aren't using she/her - god forbid the reason - it automatically just feels lesser and I need to see where I can shove in extra pronouns, all because someone I looked up to, who's nonbinary themself, brought up a point that wasn’t relevant to what I was trying to say, that made me feel bad for enjoying myself.

In the end I just feel... empty. What's the point of writing for myself when I can't even accept what I want to write because of someone else's opinion? There's characters I want to write but don't work because of that stupid comment ruining my whole creative process. It's just stupid. I feel overdramatic.

[crystalline-fox-girl]

For the ask game

17, 42, 53, 60

Feel free to provide as much or a little detail as your comfortable with! No pressure!

I answered 17 on a previous ask, go check that one out!

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

I like being called a slut or a whore anywhere 🥺

Funny story, I hooked up with a friend/mutual at a convention in January (wasn't the first time, won't be the last), and EVERYONE in my friend group there found out. When my bestie did his first stream after the event, he straight up called me a whore on stream and I went nonverbal I was so turned on 😵

53. Most embarrassing sex/masturbation story?

Back when I was still in college/staying with my family on breaks, I had a partner visit me over spring break. Where I grew up, spring was hot as fuck, humid as fuck, and also the start of mosquito season.

We were horny and desperate to fuck, but neither of us were good at staying quiet. We decided to sneak out one night with nothing but a sleeping bag, a condom, and some lube, and went to go fuck in the woods near my house (but far enough away that we wouldn't need to worry about being loud).

Y'all, we got COVERED in mosquito bites. They had them on their legs, their thighs, their ass. I had them on my ass and even had one on my balls 😭 it was the least sexy sex I've ever had and not worth it at ALL.

60. Favourite sex toy (if any)?

I'm gonna interpret this as "sex toy I most want to buy" cuz that's a more interesting answer.

So, there's this awesome sex toy company called Cute Little Fuckers that makes gender-inclusive sex toys that just look like little guys!!

Starsi is an external use vibe that provides a wide coverage of vibration with varying levels of intensity and would be great if I'm feeling dysphoric and don't want to think about my dick.

[imaginationxlost]

OC in Fifteen Quotes Tag

Tagged by @writinglyra here

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well!

In the spirit of my Camp NaNo story, the sad poet is up for this! In chronological order! I wonder if you can tell when it crosses over into the sequel I am Currently Working On

“It’s safe,” I said, like a proper big brother should, patting her head, “I promise.”

“Before I came to you? Probably twenty minutes,” I reply, opening my eyes and directing my gaze towards the ceiling, “It’s not just that, though. Today is also a dysphoric day, and I'm just… feeling everything a little too intensely.”

“There are consquences, Lia,” I say, frustration creeping into my voice, “history shows that much. I don’t want to be a repeat of—” My voice catches before I say his name, and I shake my head.

“Lia and I aren’t even from Earth,” I say, the words just spilling out at this point, “we’re refugees- our parents were killed and we barely got out with our lives- and it’s just-” I break into sobs again, once again falling into Mike’s arms.

“I know,” I reply, my voice barely more than a whisper. “But… that doesn’t change the fact that Lia absolutely needs to be kept safe. That fact that she’s my sister completely aside, keeping her alive to get back home and retake her throne is the right thing to do. Adriel needs stopped.”

“Dad is alive?” I finally manage to stammer, my voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and longing.

“Mike can share my room,” I squeak, and I immediately feel my face get hot. “I just- I mean to say-”

“I’m not,” I say, perhaps a little too quickly, because the doubt is obvious on his face. “I’m not frightened of you,” I insist again. “There’s just- There’s a lot going on, a-and I don’t like leaving Mike, and my shoulder still hurts-” I stop myself, putting a hand over my mouth to stem the flow of anxious words, before the full truth spills out.

“I know you’re right,” I finally admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “But it’s just… It’s been so ingrained in me that these abilities are wrong. I’ve always felt like I had to fit into this mold of what a Jack should be.”

“Fitting, honestly,” I mutter. “Almost poetic, to come back home the very way we left.”

“It happens pretty often,” I murmur whilst leaning into his side and putting my head on his shoulder. “Your sleep schedule doesn’t need to be as bad as mine.”

“Dad, I’m serious. I’m fine. I know- I know why you’re worried,” I grab the notepad and hug it to my chest. “It’s a problem, but I’m dealing with it. Promise.”

“I’m so-” I catch myself, and flinch, ducking my head. “Lia, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“You’ve NEVER gotten it! Never once! Of course you don’t. You’re perfect! No one has ever doubted if you can- can be good enough! No one looks at you and assumes you’re inherently going to be untrustworthy- dishonorable- no one assumes you’re a bad person because of something entirely out of your control! OF COURSE you don’t get it!”

“I’m not dying,” I finally manage, my voice hoarse. “I write to process those feelings. Give it back.”

Tagging: idk I had no takers in the wtw discord (probably because I asked at 1AM but oh well) so do it if you want and say I tagged you

[vulpecular-draconic]

howdy! this is my side blog where i ramble about my experiences being alterhuman. i don't feel comfortable linking my main blog yet, but i may sometime in the future. on this blog, you can call me vuldra. i'm genderfluid and i'll update my pronouns in my bio when they change.

i am a psychological alterhuman – i am alterhuman due to being neurodivergent. i tend to have pretty strong phantom limbs, and about average species dysphoria (although i don't believe those are necessary to be nonhuman).

i always feel like all of my kintypes to some degree, but how much fluctuates in intensity. being a pearl fox takes the stage most often, although bat-eared fox was the first one i awakened to. i call myself a fox more often than my other kintypes.

i often get mashup shifts, where i have phantom limbs and sometimes impulses/mentalities from several different creatures at the same time. the phantom limbs/etc are usually frakensteined together from my already known kintypes, but they can also include cameo shifts.

the summer of 2023 (june or july) is when i awakened. i've figured out a lot since then, but i'm always learning about myself, so i'll update/rephrase this post every once in a while.

theriotypes

— red fox [vulpes vulpes]. specifically, the pearl fox color morph. this is connected to my fae/changeling kintype.

— bat-eared fox [otocyon megalotis]. this is not connected to any other kintype in particular.

— maned wolf [chrysocyon brachyurus]. this is connected to my cryptid kintype. i’m technically still uncertain if this is a theriotype vs a hearttype, but for now, theriotype fits best.

usually when i get fox shifts (for both species), i feel like an anthropomorphic fox. not quite like the way most modern furries are drawn – more along the lines of how an anthro fox in an old storybook would be drawn. i like having anthro shifts better, because it's less dysphoric than when i'm an all-fours fox. anthro maned wolf shifts don’t happen as often.

otherkin types

— fae/changeling. this kintype is similar to cryptid, in that i don’t really have a set appearance — no “true form” — but it is linked to my pearl fox kintype. i often naturally imagine my fae self with pearl fox features, or as an anthro pearl fox. being a pearl fox also can lead me to feel more fae-ish. fae and changeling itself are slightly different experiences. average changeling days, i just feel like myself. i consider it my “base” species, even though i didn’t discover it first. on fae days i’m usually more mentally shifted than is typical, and i’m constantly thinking about and wishing i could do fae things (tricking a human with magic, etc).

— cryptid. i don’t have any specific appearance as a cryptid. mashup shifts often co-occur with cryptid shifts. but i do have a couple of forms that are common: a shadowy being (something that was actually an accidental otherlink), maned wolf and maned-wolf-like forms, and various mashups of the two. i’m also more likely to get phantom antlers when i’m a cryptid, and vice versa, i feel more cryptid when i get phantom antlers. sometimes i feel like not having much of a physical form at all. hiding is my main cryptid instinct — i do not wish to be perceived, and if i do, in a way that would scare people.

– pocket dragon. i'm only about six or seven inches long from head to tail. my scales are blue with mottled silver, layered over atop each other, and most are that classic rounded triangular shape. my mouth is sharp and has no teeth. sometimes my tail has a feather-like fan of scales on the end, sometimes it doesn’t. when i get pocket dragon shifts, i feel the urge to scurry up trees, hide in tiny nooks, stop speaking, and eat berries and beetles.

— dragon [not pocket-sized]. this species is bigger and more sapient than my pocket dragon species. i’m still trying to figure it out. it looks similar to my pocket dragon species, but not quite the same.

hearttypes, hearthomes, confusion, and more!

— avian-person. i don’t know if this is a kintype, hearttype, reoccurring cameo shift, or something else. whatever it is, it’s part of my identity. …sort of. (i do often forget it exists when i’m listing out my ‘types, even though these phantom limbs tend to be stronger than my others.) i get bird-like phantom wings and a long feathered tail with a fan at the end, similar to the fan on my pocket dragon tail. my feathers (wings and tail) are grey with a smattering of darker grey speckles, and some feathers have shimmery blue on the edges. occasionally i also get digitigrade legs; sometimes more mammal-like, sometimes more bird-like. i often also feel bird-like scales on my forearms and talons on my fingers. other than that, i have no mental shifts and my body is human-like. — cecil palmer [from the welcome to night vale podcast]. hearttype. he gives me extreme gender envy, but it’s deeper than that in a way that’s difficult to explain. i want to be him very badly (or at even just take on a similar role). but i am not him, unfortunately.

— tangled / tangled the series [world]. hearthome. it gives me a sense of longing and nostalgia like nothing else.

tagging guide

disclaimers:

some of these words have different or more broad meanings than the way i will be using them for sorting — just know that i’m aware of that.

if i want the post to reach a wider audience than it would reach with sorting tags alone, i might add more than just what’s needed for sorting.

if a creature says they don't like to be called a certain label, i’ll try to avoid tagging my reblogs of their posts with that label (a rule that is most applicable on posts talking about personal experiences). but sometimes i’ll miss something. if i make that mistake, don’t hesitate to tell me!

# i say some stuff — posts where the op is myself, or where i reblog something and add my own thoughts.

# tags in which i ramble — for posts that are not my own, but where i add enough in the tags that i consider it worth knowing about.

# not my post — posts made by others that i reblog without adding anything to the discussion.

# therian — posts regarding earthly animal kintypes and therianthropy specifically.

# otherkin — posts regarding mythical/magical nonhumanity and otherkinity specifically.

# nonhuman — blanket tag for posts about therianthropy and otherkinity, as well as posts about nonhumanity. (aka, if you wanted to scroll thru my therian and otherkin posts at the same time with some extra posts about nonhumanity, you’d choose the nonhuman tag.)

# alterhuman — posts regarding forms of alterhumanity other than nonhumanity/therianthropy/otherkinity (ie, kithtypes, archetropes, fictionflickers, etc) and posts regarding the nature of the word itself.

# otherhearted — self explanatory. i will mainly use this term instead of the other variants (animalhearted, otherkith, etc).

# critter experiences — posts containing the personal experiences of any who fit under the alterhuman umbrella, both my own and others’. (alterhuman as in the real meaning, not the meaning as i’m using it for sorting up above.)

# critter origins — umbrella tag for posts regarding theories and beliefs on why folks are nonhuman, whether psychological, spiritual, other, or both. related tags would be #psychological critter and #spiritual critter. if the belief is a combo of the two, all three tags will be used, and if it’s neither, just the main one.

# critter questions and/or questioning — for posts where the poster is questioning aspects of their alterhumanity or has questions about alterhumanity, and posts that would help those who are questioning.

# critter info — posts about animal behavior, welfare, environmental stuff, or legends/myths/lore.

# critter community — any posts concerning the alterhuman community, both on history and modern-day phenomena. will sometimes overlap with the following tag:

# term discussion / term coining / term definition — a three-in-one tag that is probably self explanatory.

# critter shifts — umbrella tag for shifts of all types. since i have phantom and mental shifts most often, most posts will probably be about those. 

# critter creativity — moodboards, memes, stimboards, ID packs, joke posts(?), poems, short stories, art, comics, masks, tails, etc.

# critter polls — umbrella tag for polls.

# critter ask game — umbrella tag for ask games (questions and answers).

# humanity — stuff about humans, humanity as a concept, or alterhumans’ relationships with humanity.

# [__] kintype # [__]kin — format for posts relevant to specific kintypes. first one will be for ‘types with two or more words, and second for types that are just one word. (because bat-eared foxkin looks clunky, but bat-eared fox kintype doesn’t. at least not to me.) some you will see frequently on my blog include: bat-eared fox kintype, pearl fox kintype, foxkin, pocket dragon kintype, dragonkin, cryptidkin, faekin. 

# [__] hearttype # [__]hearted — same premise as above, but for otherhearted stuff.

# miscellaneous — self explanatory.

all post dividers by: @plum98

this post was last updated: june 16, 2024

[ftm2bbw]

It's a Sleep Apnea mask. That's what I tell you. You've been snoring like a pig ever since I started fattening you up, bringing you gainer shakes with every meal with a tub of 50/50 melted ice cream and heavy cream for dessert. Your double chin was always bad but it's been getting even worse, the new weight pressing down on your airways and making you snore like a chainsaw moving through an inch-thick steel pipe. I'm just concerned about you and I feel responsible for your fattened state since, well, I am.

The masks sits a little awkwardly the first time I put it onto you but the massive dinner of fried chicken has you feeling sleepy and, within moments, your eyes are closed, breathing heavily through the mask. I give your belly a little shake, a little wobble, to make sure that you're fully asleep. Like a good cow. And then I reach behind the CPAP machine and flip a little switch. A pink mist, faint at first but growing stronger by the second, begins to flow down the tube, filling the mask. It's thin enough at first that I can watch the mist be pulled into your nostrils and your open mouth, as the mask makes sure it can't be pulled anywhere else, but it quickly thickens until all I can see is a pink haze over the lower portion of your face. Your body responds almost immediately. Underneath your shirt, I can see your nipples turn stiff as the hormonal gas floods your system. If I dared to dive my hands between the soft tree-trunks that are your thighs, I'd be able to feel an intense dampness underneath your fupa as the hormones get to work. Every so often, your brow furrows and you twitch, clearly having some sort of dysphoric dream, but massaging your breasts and teasing your nipples helps ease you back into a restful sleep.

Night after night continues the same way. The mask actually does work to solve your sleep apnea, helping you stay a little more focused and energetic during the day, so you're not suspicious at all as the has works its magic. In your mind, it's just coincidence that, right around the time you started using it, your breasts and ass surge in size, every new pound of fat being redirected right to them. You still dutifully take your T shots and, when your arms get too bloated to reach, I gladly help you with them. But it doesn't seem to be helping at all. You actually start to wonder if I swapped out your T as your body hair starts to thin out and, in some places disappear entirely. But your appetite never subsides, even growing stronger, your body desperate to be fed and fuel its feminine growth. The embarrassment of your body and its now very rapid growth makes it even harder to leave the house as you watch your hair grow longer and more luscious, down around your eyes. It's almost cute when you sheepishly ask me to cut it for you and I manage to convince you that it looks better long. "Tons of dudes have long hair!" And the desperate urge to be bred only gets stronger and stronger as the days go by, claiming to live as a man during the day and greedily sucking in feminizing gas overnight.

Your panic when I finally wake you up in the middle of the night and you see what's going on is adorable. You flail your arms, sending ripples through your bloated body, but all I have to do is reach out for your tits and all protest is immediately halted. Taking your nipple into my mouth and sucking, as hard as I can, makes the idea of putting up any kind of resistance seem absolutely ludicrous. I chuckle as I let your breast fall from my lips, resting fat and heavy on top of your rotund belly. "I actually got an e-mail from them last week. They have another gas cartridge that's meant to help induce lactation. How about it? You ready to become a cow? Not that you really have a choice."

I can only imagine as my dreams would shift with my body too. Starting out horribly dysphoric and embarrassing, but it wouldn't be long before they shifted to...pleasurable. Sexual. Confusing. Dreaming of having my tits squeezed, my nipples sucked, my ass groped. Getting bred. They'd only be made all the more real by your soft touches on my body each night, conditioning me to associate that pink haze with pleasure even as I slumber.

Of course, in some ways that would be even worse than having dysphoric dreams. I'd be so confused and distressed and dysphoric in my waking hours, the strange feminine dreams playing over and over in a loop in my head. Making my body throb despite my conscious thoughts. Aching between my legs as my nipples tingle and my tits pulse.

Naturally, I'd bury my feelings in even more food as I indulge in my gaining kink. It's always brought me such comfort after all, and trying to direct my hypersexual thoughts towards my reliable outlet brings me some peace. At least, in the short term. All those calories would only make things much, much worse over time as to be expected. I may even seek more solace in more sleep, putting my trouble mind to rest even as I unknowingly suck in more hormonal gas.

I'd be utterly primed to lactate by the time you pitched it to me, my body aching to nurture and produce. There'd be no hope for me to resist...