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#I'm still crying about this weeks later it's fine I'm fine it's all fine
awesomefroggy · 2 months
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Are you with me through it all?
Then why can't I feel you?
Stay with me, don't let me go
— Ashes of Eden, Breaking Benjamin
Amala has been separated from the party for 11 days and I'm handling it fine (this is a lie). She got to see almost everyone in a dream, got to tackle hug Rieker and Solis, and she's handling it fine (this is also a lie). The DM for the dream sequence let her pick out some magic items, so she had a Cloak of Protection that was red for Rieker, and a Ring of Protection with blue and orange stones for Solis. She got to hug everyone, got to give them all their flowers, and then just held on to the two of them until they all woke up.
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hairmetal666 · 4 months
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It's 3am. It's pouring down rain. Steve's soaked to the skin, been wandering the city for most of the night, hasn't slept in almost 24 hours, thinks maybe he's on the brink of delirium, and then a truck hits a pool of ponded water, sending a muddy wave cascading over him.
He just wants to go home but Dustin lost his dog and he can't leave a puppy out in this weather.
Steve steps off the curb, and what looks like a shallow puddle turns out to be a water-filled hole. He crashes towards the pavement, nothing he can do to stop it. As fast he's falling, he's miraculously not, arms wrapped around his waist. It takes a second for his brain to catch up, to understand that he's being held upright in an old-fashioned, romantic dip.
"Careful, sweetheart," a deep and smoke raspy voice says from above him.
it sends chills down his spine, the good kind, and warmth slips through him. His rescuer is a solid 10 knockout. Long, curly hair; eyeliner; decked out in leather and studs and chains. He smells like booze and cigarettes and weed, and it's intoxicating. Steve has to fight the instinct to nuzzle the guy's leather jacket. He's beautiful, holds Steve with the swagger only a guy with rings on every finger could pull off.
And Steve is a mud soaked mess in sweatpants and a threadbare Hawkins High tee. But the guy holding him isn't letting go. He stares down at Steve, brown eyes wide.
"Steve!" A voice calls over the patter of the rain.
"Dustin?" He says at the same time that the man holding him says, "Henderson?"
"Eddie?" Dustin asks.
"Wait, dnd Eddie?" Steve gets his feet under him, but Eddie's arms don't drop.
"You're the famous babysitter Steve I've been hearing all about?"
They gape at each other until Dustin reaches them.
"What are you still doing out here?" Dustin shouts. "We found Dart hours ago."
"Dustin!" He thinks he might cry. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You weren't answering your walkie!"
"Fuck." Steve drops his face to his hand. The walkie. Which is on the table by the front door where he and Robin leave their keys.
Steve swallows his frustration, the misery of waterlogged shoes, having to be up to open the store in a few hours, meeting the hottest guy he's ever seen when he looks like a drowned rat.
"I promised I'd find Dart, didn't I? Now what the hell are you doing out so late?"
"Mom and I were looking for you!"
"Let's get you back to the car, man, okay?" Steve says to Dustin. He wants to end this weird, terrible, embarrassing night before it gets even more humiliating.
"I can give you a ride home," Eddie says. He's got this weird, intense look on his face, staring at Steve.
"I'm only a few blocks away. I'll be fine. C'mon, Henderson."
"Oh, I can walk him. You head home."
He nods, starts towards his apartment, but turns back just in time to see Eddie and Dustin share a look he can't parse.
---
A few days later, Dustin's following him around at work, chattering about dnd as Steve shelves books, and without taking a breath during a soliloquy about owl bears, says, "Eddie's running a one-shot for us next week. You should come! It's a great way to get into the game."
"I'm not playing dnd," Steve answers. He slides a book onto the shelf. "I've told you this."
"Yeah, but you liked Eddie, right? He'd help you out!"
Steve squints at the kid. "I didn't really meet Eddie to know. Anyway, I'm sure he doesn't want a newbie crashing."
Steve is pretty sure Eddie doesn't like him, based on their short introduction, so he's not interested in forcing himself into the guy's dnd club. The night they met was humiliating enough, Steve in all his dorky glory.
"No, he totally wouldn't care. C'mon, Steve!"
"No can do." He ruffles Dustin's hair as he walks away.
He thinks that'll be the end of it, but every few days, for weeks Dustin and all the rest of the kids stop at the store to beg him to join their dnd club.
---
Steve is working the register and he hears the shuffling clank of a customer, looks up and finds Eddie. He's staring at Steve with that same look from the night they met, intense and piercing, cutting straight through the heart of him. He feels himself start to blush.
The first thing out of Eddie's mouth is, "Wait, this is your store?"
"Yeah?" Steve asks. "Is that--is that weird?"
"No! Not at all. It's a good store. Cute." His nose wrinkles when he says it and Steve's blush grows hotter. He knew Eddie thought he was a dork.
"Cute. Yeah. Right. Can I help you with something?"
Eddie rocks back on his heels, hands going to the pockets of his leather jacket, sending his chains jingling. "Oh, so, actually I wanted to see if you were busy?"
"Yeah, man. I'm busy." He laughs, doesn't intend to be mean about it, but he and Robin only opened the store six months ago and both take night classes at the local community college. Plus, everything he does with the kids.
Eddie's face flushes bright. "Oh, sure, of course. Yeah, I--I'll see you around."
The door thunks to a close behind him, and a voice immediately pops up to ask, "What the hell was that?"
He turns to find Max Mayfield hands on hips, glaring up at him, Robin close behind.
"Shouldn't you be in school?"
Max rolls her eyes and strides up to the counter. "Why were you an asshole to Eddie?"
"He started it!"
"I highly doubt that."
"Okay, Ms. Know-it-all, why don't you tell me what happened?"
"I know for a fact that Eddie came in today to ask you out. So, tell me, Steve Harrington, why he rushed out of here looking like a kicked puppy?"
"What?" He yelps. "Eddie doesn't even like me!"
She glares. "Doesn't like you? He's been pathetic about you since you met."
He gapes at Robin. "Don't look at me," she shrugs. "But that guy was definitely here to ask you out."
"Fix it." Max commands as she stomps out the door. "He bar tends at that metal place on 68th."
---
It's just after 9pm and he's at the metal bar on 68th, decidedly out of place in the yellow t-shirt and jeans he wore to his business accounting class.
It's fairly busy for a weeknight, but Eddie's not hard to find. He's obviously in his element, bobbing his head to a song Steve's never heard as he mixes a drink.
With a hard swallow and a healthy dose of humility, he walks up to the bar.
"Be right--" Eddie starts, balking when he notices Steve.
"Can we talk?" he shouts over the music.
Eddie's eyes widen a little, but he nods, slips out from behind the bar to guide him to an employee exit.
"What's up, Steve?" Eddie asks. His hands are in his pockets, shoulders bowed in.
"I wanted to apologize."
"What for?"
"Earlier, I--when you said the store was cute I thought you were making fun of me."
"But--why?"
"I thought you didn't like me." Steve cringes at the admission.
"What?" He laughs.
"I don't know. We met in the middle of the night and I was covered in mud looking for a dog that wasn't lost anymore."
"Steve. Holy shit." Eddie shakes his head. "You looked gorgeous that night. The way your clothes were sticking--you know what? Never mind. Did you think I wanted you to come to dnd because I hated you?"
"You wanted me to come?"
"Dustin didn't..."
"No! And he's been asking me to play dnd weekly for the past five years."
"Jesus Christ," Eddie slumps agains the brick wall at his back. "No wonder you turned me down today."
"To be fair," Steve slumps next to him. "If I had realized you were asking me out, I wouldn't have turned you down."
"No?" Eddie asks. His brown eyes gleam.
"Definitely not. I've had a crush on you since that night. Sort of devastating since I thought you didn't like me." Steve runs his hand through his hair, watches Eddie track the movement.
"The store is cute, Steve. I--uh--I've been a few times. Back before I knew you were the owner! I just kept seeing a hot employee with great hair and a perfect ass, and the vaguely mean lesbian barista gives me free drinks."
"That's Robin," Steve says. He's smiling so hard.
"I know that now," Eddie smiles back. "Sorry for being an idiot."
"Me too." Steve nods. "Do you--could I still come to dnd? Or take you out sometime?"
"Why not both?" Dimples pop on Eddie's cheeks, and Steve's heart flips.
"I like both." They're still against the wall, but drifting into each other's space.
"So Dustin said."
It surprises a laugh out of Steve. "I'm gonna kill him."
"Too bad. He's a nice kid."
"Eh, we've got six more to choose from."
"I have a few more hours here, but there's a diner down the street that does some of the most mediocre pancakes I've ever tasted. Meet me there? Around 2?"
"A thousand lost puppies wouldn't make me miss it."
The next time Steve is out at 3am he's pressed against a building, Eddie kissing him so thoroughly he knows he's never recovering from this one.
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inkskinned · 8 months
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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."
i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.
the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.
mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.
later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.
sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.
but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.
i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.
every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.
wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?
the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:
he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.
every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.
mahler's fifth still makes me sick.
give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.
give me back what you took from me.
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peachesofteal · 2 months
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader - request: angst 1/3 - mama pov
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"It's going to be fine."
Simon's forehead touches yours, and you take the opportunity to breathe him in, fingers knotted in his sweatshirt. "I know."
"I know you're nervous, but you don't have to be." You sway together in the silence, his lips moving your temple. "It won't be too long, and when I get back, we'll start packing to move."
"I can pack when you're not here." You mumble, still clinging onto him. You've grown too dependent, too reliant. You should have been livid about the house, about how he was arranging things in secret, behind your back, but you couldn't find it in yourself to hold a grudge. How could you? After everything he's been through, his life compared to yours, how could take a sense of safety, security away from him?
Love is sacrifice, you think. You're not sure, but you're still learning.
And in this moment, these last minutes before he leaves, love feels like a death march.
"I don't want you pushing yourself. You're balancing work and the baby now, don't stress about packing. We'll take care of it together, when I'm home." A tear slips over your cheek, and he swipes it away.
"Will you have your phone?" You ask, hopefully.
"I will. Probably won't be able to turn it on as much as I did last time, but I'll see what I can do, okay?" The house smells like lavender, chamomile, candles and tea an effort to soothe your nerves, help Orion sleep.
It worked for the baby, but not so much for you.
"Hey, look at me." He tips your chin, delivers a slow, sweet kiss to your lips before pulling away. "It will go by really quick." You gulp.
"O-okay." There's something sad in the way he looks at you, a regretful sliver of doubt, filling you with guilt until it runs over. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not good at this, I just can't stop thinking about all the bad things, all the things that could go wrong." The lump in the back of your throat gives way to a sob, its weight choking through your lips.
"Shhh." Simon cradles the back of your head tucks you into his chest, arms wrapped so tight across your shoulders he blocks out the light. "You don't have to be good at this, mama. I'd be a little concerned if you were. I don't want you to get yourself worked up and worry, I want you to focus on taking care of yourself and Orion, okay? I'll be home before you know it, I swear."
"Promise?" The plea is high pitched, weak. A trembling ray of hope against the anxiety and fear churning in your heart. He kisses your forehead.
"I promise."
Your phone rings for the first time three weeks later.
You roll off the bed in an attempt to reach it, still fumbling with the lockscreen when you land on your ass. "Hello?"
"Hey, mama."
"Simon oh my god." Tears spring freely at the sound of his voice. "I'm so happy you called."
"'m sorry, wish I could've called sooner, but-"
"No, no that's okay. I... I understand. Are you... okay?"
"I'm okay, we've been busy, but we're safe." He's nearly whispering, vow low but still soothing, and you close your eyes.
"We miss you."
"I miss you too. Both of you. Little man looks like he's grown two sizes since I left." He sounds sad, and your stomach pitches.
"I know, but you'll be home soon right? You won't be missing too much." There's a long, regretful sigh on the other end, and the two of you lapse into silence until he clears his throat.
"You doin' okay?"
"Yeah, we're okay. I'm okay. Cami has been over a few times, and we've been going to the park and stuff. Gettin' out of the flat."
"Good, that's good." He takes a deep breath. "Listen, sweetheart. We're goin' be a bit longer than expected."
"How long?"
"'m not sure." You try to breathe, sucking in a deep breath, but the air feels sparse now.
“Okay, well. Okay.”
“I’m sorry mama.” Your lower lip quivers.
“It’s okay. I uh… I understand.” You try to endorse your voice with confident, but it only wavers.
“Don’t cry.” He says softly. “Please don’t cry, I’m sorry.”
“I’m fine. It’s okay. Just… be safe okay? Come home in one piece.” He sighs.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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ddiidi · 24 days
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bf!Bangchan x gn!reader (ot8 mentioned)
Masterlist
When he calls you clingy, so you distance yourself
Previous Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Next Pt. 4
!Warnings: angst, angst and more angst, fake!texts, swearing (lmk if i missed anything)
Side-Note: Sorry but I really needed to do this, my heart desires this angst rn but dw y'all get ur happy ending (reader will throw chan off a building and gets married to jay why papi😍)✨
You were walking at a river, listening to a story one of your friends is telling, when you receive a message.
You groan and take out you phone to answer back as quickly as possible, but when you saw what the message was about, you were the one that nearly collapsed.
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You didn't mean to be that mean, you really didn't but it just pissed you off so much. He hurt you and now he's expecting you to just come over and act like nothing ever happened?? You did care about him, a lot, but rightnow, you don't even know if you care about him since he's your boyfriend, or because he's a human being. Either way, you don't plan on forgiving him, not yet, not since it's been a week and there hasn't been even one message or apology.
"Y/n? Y/nnnnnnn everything okay????? You've been staring at your phone for minutes." Rin, one of your friends, asks you, as you were standing still, staring at your conversation with Felix.
"I'm...fine..just something..... unnecessary" you shove your phone back in your bag "Let's not mind it. How about we'll go shopping?" They all agreed on going shopping, but you honestly weren't in the mood for a fun day anymore, not when your mind keeps wandering to chan. Even if he was an asshole...you still love him.
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Later that evening, you drove over to the hospital chan was at, to "just drop off a bag" of fresh clothing for him tomorrow.
Earlier that day you asked Felix not to drop anything off and that you'll do it later, also asking him about Chan's state. Apparently he fainted due to stress, lack of sleep and also a sudden panic where his heartbeat wasn't quick enough to exchange the oxygen in his body fast enough, so it was in fact not your fault.
Well, not all at least.
You were just going to take a quick look at him, to make sure he's not dead. You love him after all... You can't just stop caring for him, you just wanted to see that he's okay...it's been a week and to be honest, you did miss him, somehow.
So here you sit, next to his bed, watching him sleep peacefully. The nurses let you in, when you said you'd quickly drop off his bag.
You just stared at his face for a while, before standing up and giving him a quick peck on his lips before walking towards the door, turning around when he mumbles out your name.
Oh this voice. His voice. How you missed hearing your name with that voice, from him. But instead of saying anything, you quickly and quietly get out of the room. You didn't wanna talk to him and you also don't want to give him the joy of knowing, that you still miss him after what he said.
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The next morning you were awoken by messages blowing up your phone and were close to a heart attack when you didn't recognize your surroundings, when you realize that you moved in your new apartment early, so you wouldn't wake up to a half dead chan banging at your door.
Instead, that half dead oldie decided to blow up your phone.
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You turn you phone off, lay it on the nightstand, cover yourself with your blanket and.... Cry.
What did you do? Why did you say that? And why did he keep giving you the fault? Questions over questions linger in your head as you cried. You didn't want all this to end, but what if he notices he's actually better of without you? What if you just....destroyed a 3 year long relationship just because of your stupid personality?...
No. He deserved if. He definitely did for being an asshole. But do you really have to suffer, because of his mistakes?
You eventually cried yourself to sleep, in hope that it was just a bad dream...
Sometimes it's heart to accept the truth, because the truth sometimes hurts.
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
@finnbbl @emilyywhyy @wolfs-howling @justastraymoa @loveyouamory @muraae @callmekda
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 months
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Surgery IX
Mapi León x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader
Summary: Ingrid does your hair
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The first time Ingrid meets you, the only thing she can look at is your hair.
You're absolutely tiny, dressed comfortably in a pair of overalls and fancy Adidas shoes. You actually look pretty cool for such a little kid but it's the hair that has Ingrid wincing.
It's wild.
It poofs out a lion's mane and Ingrid can just spy the singular hairband desperately trying to keep it all at bay.
You have a lot of curls and a lot of frizz. It's a wonder that Mapi's even managed to scrape it all back into a ponytail.
Ingrid's hair isn't like yours. In fact, Ingrid hasn't really met anyone with hair like yours before.
Your nickname is well suited to you as you bound over to Mapi to talk, hair bouncing with every little step.
You truly have a mane of your own.
Ingrid finds herself staring at it many times over the next few weeks. She just can't help it.
There's just something about your hair that Ingrid can't just get out of her head.
She works out what exactly it is the first time she sleeps the night at Mapi's place.
It's a day off when she wakes up again so the plan is the three of you are all going out shopping together.
It's a normal day even if she's slept over at her girlfriend's so Ingrid dresses quickly and steps out into the living room.
She can hear the crying before she even walks out.
Mapi's sitting on the sofa with you on the floor in front of her.
You're in tears, howling and sobbing as Mapi runs a brush through your hair.
She looks to be nearly in tears too.
"I know," She says," I know. I'm sorry, Cub. I'm so sorry but you know you need your hair brushed."
"Ma-Mami! Mami, no!" You sob as Mapi attempts to force the brush through your curls.
Ingrid's eyes widen in shock.
She hadn't ever considered Mapi brushed your hair dry.
It doesn't look to be working well either, not with how distressed both you and Mapi appear to be.
Your hair has always been dry for as long as Ingrid's known you but now she wonders if it's like that naturally or something else.
It's a bit bad to be snooping but Ingrid can't help herself as she slips into the bathroom to have a look.
You're still sobbing by the time she comes back and Mapi's broken down in tears too.
Ingrid sits, gently stopping Mapi's brushing with a soft hand.
You wiggle away quickly, shuffling all the way to the other side of the room by your toys.
"Mapi?"
"It's fine." Mapi furiously swipes the tears from her eyes. "We're fine. Just having a bit of trouble with her hair."
"Is it usually like this?"
"We get through it."
Mapi's putting on a brave face but Ingrid can tell it's all fake. She's in tears. You're in tears.
You're both treating this like it's normal.
"New plan," She says," Leave her hair as it is. We're going to get her some things."
"For her hair? Ingrid, I have-"
"Mapi, I can tell you're trying hard but none of that stuff in your bathroom is suited to her hair."
"My Mama said-"
"Does your mum have straight hair?"
"Yes."
"Trust me, Mapi. Curly hair needs more looking after. Come on. Get her dressed and I'll show you."
Mapi wasn't quite convinced at first but upon seeing just how large the range of curly haired products was, she firmly shut up unless it was to translate Ingrid's words to the store attendant.
Together, they manage to fill the basket with things Mapi's never even seen before and suddenly she's sitting in her own living room again watching Ingrid wrangle you back into position on the floor.
Hair brushing is your least favourite time of the day combined with saying goodbye to Bagheera and being put down for bed.
Eventually though, with the promise of baking later on in the day, you sit nicely for Ingrid with some documentary about cats playing on the tv.
"Okay."
Ingrid pulls out a bottle of spray.
"Don't brush her hair if it's dry." Ingrid sprays liberally until your hair is suitably wet and is no longer big and bushy. "So we've got a wide-toothed comb which I think we should use for more everyday kind of brushing but we're going to use this-" She holds up the new detangling brush "-To get all the knots out."
Mapi watches attentively as Ingrid separates a chunk of your hair and starts at the bottom rather than the top.
It's a bit weird to you as Ingrid glides the brush through your hair. She doesn't tug or pull like usually happens so it's a bit strange for you.
Hair brushing has always been a very bad experience for you and Mami. There's usually a lot of tears and screaming and crying but it's still a lot better than when Abuela did your hair once.
She complained a lot when it happened and said mean things like your hair was 'untameable' and 'horrible to brush'. You think she meant it in a joking way because she and Abuelo were laughing and teasing each other but you can still remember the way she said that she might tell your Mami to 'cut it all off and start again'.
You know she was joking around and she wasn't actually going to tell Mami that but she still said it and you still remembered it.
She said that if you were any older than she would sit you in front of her and just straighten it all.
You love your mane though, even though it hurts to brush and it's bushy and big.
Mami loves your mane too, she's told you so lots of times. She says it's very beautiful and makes you look fierce like a real life lion.
You think Ingrid must love your hair too because she's being so gentle and so nice with it. Her hands are soft and the brush doesn't pull or snag much.
You like the feeling of her brushing your hair and your eyes droop a little.
It's almost as nice as getting back scratches.
Mapi sits in awe behind you as Ingrid massages some moisturising product into your now tamed hair.
"We could probably just put her hair up in braids to help protect it when she's going about her day," Ingrid says," It'll keep it nice and neat and no knots until we get home."
"You're good at this," Mapi says. She's still slightly in shock at how well Ingrid's doing with this all.
"I..." Ingrid's face turns red. "I did a lot of research. Her hair is so nice. I want her to love it."
Mapi laughs a little, looking down at where you're fast asleep, leaning back against Ingrid's legs.
"If you keep sending her to sleep every time you brush it then I'm sure she will."
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vanteguccir · 3 months
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── ୨୧ ! 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗧𝗢𝗥
         𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Y/N and Matt are in a complicated relationship, where Matt is still stuck in the past with his ex. In an angsty pathway, Y/N suffers when she realizes that Matt will never love her as she wants.
WARNING: Crying, panic attack, comparison, ANGST.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
Part 2
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
Y/N adjusted her stunning dress in front of the mirror. The bright red silk fabric hugged her curves in a way she knew would make heads turn that night. Her hair fell in perfect waves over her shoulders, meticulously styled by her curling iron, and her makeup highlighted her features impeccably.
There was a palpable excitement in the air, an expectation of Matt's reaction; she always expected to receive showers of praise from her boy, just as she did for him. The party they were about to go to - a fancy one that celebrated the launch of the new Space Camp line - would be the perfect opportunity to show everyone, and especially him, how hard she worked to be perfect.
The low sound of the bedroom door's handle turning sounded through the silence, Matt's figure appearing through the wooden frame, and all Y/N could feel as she watched him through the mirror's reflection was her racing heart. He looked stunning in his black suit, the crooked tie relaxing the seriousness of his attire.
She waited for the compliment, for the spark in his eyes that would confirm that all the effort had been worth it.
"You look beautiful, Y/N." Blue eyes traveled over her body for some seconds, but before she could absorb the joy of that moment, he finished. "Did you know that Amanda has a dress similar to yours?"
Y/N felt her stomach tighten painfully as her heart felt like it was being broken by a hammer three times its size. Amanda. Always Amanda. Matt's ex-girlfriend was a constant shadow between them, a specter that Y/N could never completely dispel.
She forced a smile, swallowing the anguish rising in her throat.
"Oh, really?" Was all she could say, trying to keep her voice steady, her hands shaking slightly at the side of her hips.
Later that day, the party continued with Y/N ​​by Matt's side, but her mind was far away. Every time someone praised her, she remembered Matt's comment. Even surrounded by people and with Matt by her side, she felt incredibly alone.
Her thoughts revolved around a single question: Why couldn't he see her for who she was instead of always comparing her to Amanda?
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A few weeks later, a new day brought a new blow. Matt was in his shared room with Y/N, sitting in his gaming chair with his upper body resting on the wooden surface, his hands on his Macbook, busy answering emails sent to the triplets' mail.
Y/N entered quietly, carrying two glasses full of fresh watermelon juice, knowing that Matt would definitely be thirsty and hungry after hours of sitting there. But as she got closer, she saw his computer screen. The messaging app was open, and the open window wasn't just any texts — it was old conversations between Matt and Amanda.
He read them with a melancholic smile, his eyes shining with a longing that Y/N knew all too well.
"Matt..." Her voice came out in an involuntary whisper, the broken tone sounding louder than it was expected.
The boy startled, closing the laptop quickly.
"Babe, hey, you scared me!" The boy turned around suddenly, clearing his throat and laughing awkwardly, trying to look casual. "I was just... clearing out some old stuff."
Y/N just nodded, the pain growing inside her chest.
"It's fine. Here, I made this for you." She raised her hand that held the fullest glass, smiling brokenly and keeping her eyes open, taking note on how Matt didn't notice the tears shining in her orbs or pretended not to.
She knew he was lying. She knew he was stuck in the past, that Amanda still dominated his thoughts and his heart. But once again, she chose to ignore it, to stifle her own suffering out of love for him.
Because losing Matt was a fear that outweighed any pain she might feel.
Right?
Right! Until things reached an unbearable point.
Y/N had an appointment at the beauty salon, something she did to feel a little more in control, a little more beautiful in a reality where she always felt insufficient. Matt said he couldn't accompany her, claiming he had videos to film with his brothers. She understood, or at least she tried.
It was Saturday, they didn't film on Saturday.
Sitting in the salon chair, while her nails were being done and her hair was treated, Y/N took out her phone to pass the time, holding the device awkwardly for fear of smudging her sparkling nail polish.
Scrolling through Instagram while her ears caught some conversations around the salon, her heart almost flew out of its place and up her mouth when she saw a photo that one of the celebrity gossip pages had just posted.
Matt was in a coffee shop with Amanda.
His smile was radiant, a kind of joy Y/N hadn't seen on his face in a long time. He looked so… complete, so genuinely happy.
Y/N felt the world come crashing down around her. Tears burned her eyes, but she held them back, looking around at all the other radiant women before turning her attention back to the news, clutching her cell between her left fingers, a low "sorry" scaping her lips when her right hand trembled against the manicurist ones.
She didn't give a shit that they were talking in a cafe, she didn't mind if they wanted to be friends again - even though she had destroyed Matt, and Y/N was the one to put him together again -, it was something else that bothered her.
Matt had lied to her. He said he was going to film. What the fuck was he doing out with Amanda?
But the truth was right there, raw and painful: Matt would never be fully hers. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she sacrificed, he would always be stuck in the past in the love he had for Amanda. He would always go back to her.
Y/N took a deep breath, forcing a smile as the manicurist applied red nail polish to her nails on her left hand. The color perfectly matched the feelings she felt at that moment; dark.
Every move by the salon professionals seemed like a desperate attempt to beautify her for someone who would never see her true beauty. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop her mind from going back to that image of Matt smiling with Amanda. It was a smile she could never get out of him.
"You look amazing, Y/N!" Cintia, the girl's hairdresser for years now, praised excitedly, straightening the last strands of hair just finished and turning the chair so that Y/N could see herself in the mirror. "Matt will love it."
Y/N looked at her reflection, but all she saw was an improved version of herself that, despite all her effort, would never be enough for Matt. She would always be just a shadow, a pale substitute.
"Thank you..." The girl tried to say, but her voice came out hoarse, almost a whisper, fighting to keep the tears at bay.
The room around her seemed like a golden prison, full of mirrors that only reflected her internal pain. Every compliment, every word of encouragement, sounded hollow, meaningless, because the person whose opinion mattered most was, at that very moment, laughing and smiling with another woman; the woman he truly loved.
When Y/N finally left the salon, she felt exhausted, as if she had run an emotional marathon. She walked slowly to her home, opting not to call an Uber.
Her hands fished her phone out of her half-open purse, and, with trembling fingers decorated in red, she sent a text to Diana, her best friend.
"Diana, are you home? Can I sleep there tonight?"
As she waited for the answer, her mind wandered through a whirlwind of thoughts. The pain was constant but mixed with a new resolve.
She needed to get out of there. She needed space to breathe, to think.
"Of course, babes!"
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Getting home was an automatic process. The house she shared with the triplets seemed colder and more hostile than ever.
Y/N walked past the living room where Chris and Nick were sprawled awkwardly on the gray couch playing video games, their excited laughter, and screams a cruel contrast to the pain she felt.
"Y/N!" Nick smiled brightly when he saw his best friend out of the corner of his eye. "Want to play a round with us?"
"No thanks, Nick. I'm tired." She murmured, smiling wide and fake - even though he wasn't looking at her directly -, trying to appear normal.
She walked slowly down the path between the living room and kitchen, each step a reminder of what she was about to do.
Her hands worked automatically on the door, entering her shared room with Matt, closing it behind her, the sound of the lock clicking echoing like a period in her mind. She looked around, taking in the details that made the space a home - the photos on the wall, the personal items, the memories. But now, it all felt empty.
She grabbed a suitcase stored at the back of their shared closet and began filling it with her necessities. The simple act of opening the suitcase caused a wave of despair to hit her.
Every piece of clothing and every object that her hands roughly touched and threw blindly into the suitcase was a small stab in her heart. The tears finally started to stream down her face, and she didn't try to stop them. Reality was imposing itself in a cruel way.
Her movements became slower and slower, while her thoughts became more chaotic.
"I'll never be enough for him."
"I'll never be her."
"He'll never love me the way I love him."
"I'm destroying myself for someone who cares little about me."
"What did I do wrong?"
These thoughts repeated like a cruel mantra in her mind. She felt her breathing quicken. Her lungs seemed unable to take in enough air. The room, which had always been a refuge, now felt like an oppressive cell. Panic began to set in. Her chest felt tight, her hands shook, and the air seemed to escape.
The tears flowed like hot, relentless waterfalls. The suitcase was open in front of her, half full, but it seemed like an insurmountable abyss. Y/N tried to take a deep breath, but each attempt only resulted in more despair.
The sobs came strong and uncontrollable. The girl stopped in front of the bed, standing, after throwing the last piece taken by her hands, bending her upper body over the suitcase, gripping the edge of the thick fabric with such strength that it made her fingers take on a whitish color, fully throwing her weight on her arms as if they were a lifeboat in the middle of a storm.
"Why am I not good enough?"
"What is wrong with me?"
"Why can’t he love me?"
She felt completely alone, drowning in her own pain. The panic attack took over, stealing any trace of control she still had.
The walls of the room seemed to close in on Y/N, the contours of the furniture becoming indistinct and threatening as her breathing became increasingly rapid and shallow. Her heart hammered in her chest with an almost painful force, each beat ringing in her ears like deafening thunder. The air felt thick, sticky, and impossible to inhale properly.
"Am I really that hard to be loved?"
"I wish I was her."
"He was never mine, right?"
Her hands shook uncontrollably, her fingers tingling over her suitcase as a feeling of numbness spread through her arms. Sweat dripped down her forehead, leaving her feeling sticky and uncomfortable, while the cold began to spread throughout her body, generating incessant chills.
Her vision blurred, the edges of the room distorting into restless shadows that danced and pulsed, transforming the room into a place strangely familiar and frighteningly alien at the same time. Each sound seemed amplified and distant, the ones of laughter and the clicks of long and simple kisses played in memories in her head like a record player at its highest volume, creating a surreal echo that only intensified the feeling of isolation and despair.
Exhausted, Y/N let herself sink to the floor, her sobs echoing in the empty room, an expression of the pain and loneliness that she felt suffocating herself relentlessly. Her legs folded in front of her body, the front of her thighs sticking firmly against her stomach as her arms served as a shield for her head, her hands involuntarily going up to her own hair, gripping the strands tightly, trying to ground herself.
Meanwhile, Nick ran towards her and Matt's room with quick, excited steps. He had just finished the last round of his video game with Chris and was looking forward to seeing the outcome of Y/N's salon day, hoping it would make her happier after noticing the inconsistency in her voice when she got home.
His closed fist lightly knocked on the door before opening it, the smile on his face instantly disappearing as his eyes met the scene before him.
Y/N was on the floor, curled up in a fetal position, her hands now grabbing her arms in a desperate hug. Her face was wet with tears, her eyes wide and fixed on a distant, indistinct point. Her breathing was ragged, labored, as if she were trying to pull air through a narrow, clogged straw. The sound of her panting was interspersed with heavy sobs, creating a symphony of anguish that made Nick's heart tighten in his chest.
"Y/N!" Nick called, his voice thick with panic. But to Y/N, his words were like distant whispers, drowned out by the deafening noise of her own frantically beating heart.
Her mind was in a whirlwind of chaotic, disorganized thoughts, each competing for attention and increasing the feeling of panic. She felt trapped in an endless cycle of terror, unable to escape the downward spiral that consumed her.
The feeling of suffocation was overwhelming, as if an invisible weight was pressing down on her chest, making every desperate attempt to breathe difficult. The seconds seemed to stretch into a torturous eternity, each second carrying a new wave of fear and despair.
Nick ran up to her, the panic on his face intensifying by the second. He knelt beside Y/N, trying to find a way to reach her, to bring her back from that abyss of despair. His hands shook as he gently pulled her close, enveloping her in a tight, protective hug.
"I’m here, Y/N, I’m here." He repeated, his voice choked with emotion, praying to whatever was watching them to make her listen to him. But she didn't seem to be able to do it, lost in her own spiral of panic.
Nick closed his eyes for a moment, fighting to stay calm. He knew he needed to be strong for her, and he needed to find a way to calm her.
"Y/N, look at me, please." He pleaded, voice softer, trying to break the invisible barrier that kept her trapped in her own fear. The brunette held her face with his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Breathe with me, okay? Breathe slowly."
He began to breathe deeply, exaggerating his movements so she could follow. He breathed in slowly and deeply through his nose, holding it for a moment before slowly exhaling through his mouth. He felt Y/N tremble in his arms, but he kept pace, trying to convey calmness through each breath.
"That's it, keep going, you can do it." Nick encouraged, feeling a small change in her breathing. Her panting began to synchronize with his, although it was still irregular. He continued to whisper words of comfort, repeating that he was there, that she wasn't alone.
Slowly, very slowly, he felt the stiffness in her body begin to ease. Y/N's breathing became a little steadier, although she was still shaking. Nick kept the hug tight, feeling her heart beat against his own chest. He knew she was still scared, still trapped in her mind, but she was starting to come back.
"You're safe, Y/N. I'm here." Nick said once again, his voice firm and reassuring. He didn't let go of her face, maintaining eye contact, grounding her to reality. "Let's get through this together, okay?"
Finally, after several minutes that felt like hours, Y/N began to breathe in a more controlled manner. Her sobs subsided, and her eyes, once wide with terror, began to focus on Nick's. Her blurred vision cleared a little, the walls of the room seeming less threatening.
Nick sighed in relief, still holding her tightly, feeling the tension gradually ease in her muscles.
His own heart was still beating fast, but now, for a different reason. He looked around, trying to understand the situation better, when his blue orbs stopped on the open suitcase above the bed. The sight of the packed suitcase made his heart sink. Confusion and fear settled in his chest. What was happening? Why was she packing her things? The thought of Y/N leaving caused him his own panic, an intense worry that he tried to suppress, deciding that the questions could wait.
With a conscious effort, he looked away from the suitcase and focused on the immediate task of taking care of Y/N. He stood up slowly, maintaining eye contact to ensure she didn't feel abandoned for even a moment. The boy grabbed the pink bottle of water from the bedside table on her side of the bed and quickly returned, sitting next to her on the cold floor again. The hard ground beneath him was a sharp contrast to the softness of concern he felt for Y/N.
"Here, drink some water." He asked softly, handing Y/N the bottle.
The fragile girl took the bottle with hands that were still shaking but managed to open the cap and take a few small sips, each one firmer than the last. Nick watched her every move, his mind still spinning around the suitcase. The silence in the room was heavy, filled with unspoken words and unasked questions. He waited patiently, without pressing, standing by her side like a pillar of support.
After long seconds of silence, Y/N took a deep breath, her gaze shifting from the bottle to the suitcase on the bed. She knew she needed to explain. Nick deserved to know what was going on, especially after helping her get through that panic attack. She straightened up a little, trying to find the strength to speak.
"Nick..." She began, her voice still trembling. "I... I'm packing because I need to get out of here for a while. I can't stay here any longer, the way things are between me and..." Her voice trailed off into the air before she could mention the name of the boy she loved most in the world.
Nick felt a lump form in his throat, but he remained calm, waiting for her to continue. Y/N took another sip of water before continuing, her words coming out in a halting, painful stream.
"I saw Matt with Amanda today, you know? They were together, and he looked so happy… happier than I've ever seen him with me." Her voice cracked again, but she took a deep breath and continued. "It made me realize that no matter how much I love him, he will never love me the same way. And I can't keep destroying myself like this. So, I'm going to spend the night at Diana's house. I need some time to think, to calm down. Get away from here. Get away from him. And maybe make him miss me... Or finally notice that I'm not what he wants." The last part came out in a broken whisper, her gaze lowering to her crossed legs.
Nick felt a wave of relief upon hearing that she wasn't leaving his life forever, but the worry and sadness over her situation still weighed heavily on him. He wanted to say something, anything to ease her pain, but the words seemed inadequate. Instead, he just nodded, offering silent support.
"And please, Nick, don't tell Matt anything yet." Y/N asked, her eyes pleading. "I need a little time to understand what I'm going to do. He really hurt me, but I can't act on impulse."
Nick held her hand firmly, offering her an expression of understanding and support.
"Of course, Y/N. I won't tell him. I promise." He murmured sincerely. "You can have all the time you need. And I'm here for you, no matter what. I love my little brother, but I won't defend him when he's in the wrong end. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are, Y/N. Someone who loves you completely, without shadows of the past."
They sat there for a few more minutes, sharing that moment of stillness and understanding. The cold of the ground seemed less intense with each other's comforting presence.
Eventually, Y/N stood up, with Nick helping her place her suitcase on the floor. She took one last look at the room she had shared with Matt, pain visible in her eyes but also a growing determination. She knew she needed to step away to heal, to find her own strength again.
"Let's go." Nick's voice woke her from her reverie, his hands picking up her suitcase and walking it to the door. "I'll uber you to Diana's house."
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Matt returned home with a beaming smile on his face, his heart still racing with the joy of the friendly encounter he had had. He had spent the afternoon with Amanda, talking and laughing like old times, and the feeling of familiarity and happiness was undeniable.
The boy climbed the stairs of the house with quick steps, eager to see Y/N and share his good mood with her. He wanted to hold her close on their bed, bury his nose in the curve of her neck, and smell her soft and natural perfume as he told her about his day.
But when he opened the bedroom door, a strange feeling of tension in the air made him stop. The environment felt different, as if something had changed, but he couldn't identify what it was. He entered the space, leaving the door open behind him, turning his body and letting his eyes roam the four walls, trying to find what was wrong. Nothing seemed out of place at first glance: the bed was made, his clothes were in the same place, the books were on the shelf, and the computer was on the computer desk. But there was an absence he still couldn't understand.
It was when he opened the closet that reality began to form in his mind. Y/N's side was almost empty. Where her dresses, skirts, and t-shirts once hung, now there were just a few lonely hangers. The empty space where her suitcase sat now felt like a black hole, sucking in all the light and joy he had felt moments before.
Matt felt his heart stop for a second, a feeling of panic starting to take over his chest.
"Y/N? Hey, baby? Are you cleaning out the closet by any chance?" Matt's broken voice sounded through the room in an echo, seeming to escape out the door and travel the entire floor of the house, his blue eyes still fixed on the empty hangers as his mind created the expectation of hearing the sweet, melodious voice back.
But nothing came.
Nick appeared silently in the doorway, watching his younger brother with a serious expression. Matt was so absorbed in his desperate search for answers that he didn't notice Nick's presence until he heard his voice.
"She left."
Matt turned abruptly, his wide, confused eyes meeting Nick's. The older triplet's expression was one of deep sadness, mixed with calm determination. Matt felt a wave of despair rise up inside him, like an overwhelming tide ready to swallow him.
"What do you mean 'she left'?" Matt asked, his voice trembling accompanied by an expression of terror. "Where- Where did she go?"
Nick sighed, taking a step forward, eyes shining with suppressed anger.
"That doesn't matter now. What matters is that you need to decide what you really want, Matt. She saw you with Amanda today, you know?"
Matt felt the ground disappear beneath his feet. He looked around the room again, this time with a clear understanding of what was missing. Y/N, the constant, loving presence in his life, was gone.
"I don't understand..." Matt muttered almost to himself. "I thought we were fine."
"Only you saw this. Seeing you with Amanda was the last straw for her. She loves you, she really does, but she can't keep living like this, Matt, not when she knows that you still have feelings for your ex." Nick scoffed, a disgusted tone echoing with his words, shaking his head and rolling his eyes in suppressed anger. "And you can't continue like this, dividing your attention between Y/N and Amanda. This is destroying Y/N, and you don't even realize it."
"But I... I was just trying to be friends with Amanda again. I don't have feelings for her anymore." Matt spluttered, confusion and guilt beginning to mix in his chest.
"Then why do you keep seeing her?" Nick countered, with no softness in his words. "Y/N loves you, Matt. She loves you so much that she is destroying herself because you don't treat her like you should. She needs you, and you're here, acting like nothing's wrong. And if you continue like this, you will permanently lose the only girl who has truly stuck by your side through thick and thin."
Matt felt a lump tighten in his throat. He tried to speak, but words failed him. The image of Y/N, the woman he loved, suffering in silence because of her insensitivity, was unbearable.
He felt foolish and insensitive. How had he not realized how much Y/N ​​was suffering? All he wanted was to be able to hug her now, tell her that he loved her, and that she was the only person that mattered. But at that moment, he realized how late those words could be.
"I didn't cheat on her, Nick. I really was with Amanda, but I didn't… I didn't do anything wrong." Matt's voice sounded choked, tears beginning to well up in his eyes as anxiety rose through his body like rafters.
"You think you didn't, Matt. But sometimes, it's not about what you do but about how you make the other person feel. And honestly? Giving priority to your ex, the girl who broke you and made you suffer for days on end, over Y/N, who you say you love oh so much, is low blow. Right now, Y/N needs space to breathe to understand her own feelings. And you need to truly analyze what you did and recant with her when she is ready."
Matt walked with shaky steps towards the double bed, sinking onto the edge of the mattress, burying his face in his hands. The weight of guilt and regret was crushing. All he could think about was how he wanted to turn back in time, do things differently, show Y/N that she was the center of his world. Never have lunch with Amanda.
"I need to talk to her." Matt tightened his fingers around the brown strands of her hair, sniffling. "I need to tell her that I'm sorry, that I love her. I really do, Nick."
"I know. But give her a little time, Matt. Forcing a conversation now might make things worse. Let her process everything, and then you can try talking to her." Nick advised, watching him closely before he turned, walking towards the door. "And next time, treat her like the wonderful woman she is, not like a replacement."
Matt nodded slowly, begrudgingly, knowing his brother was right, the despair turning into a silent, constant pain. The room around him, which had once been a haven of love and shared memories, now seemed like an empty, desolate space. The mattress beneath his body, where both of their bodies lay together just the day before, now felt like an icy surface, sending horrible shivers through his body.
His mind betrayed him by making him remember the moments when he had treated Y/N with indifference and neglect, moments that he now saw with painful clarity. Each memory was like a stab to the heart, revealing the depth of his callousness. Y/N's smiles that he had taken for granted, the nights she waited up for him while he lost himself in thoughts of the past, the comparisons...
He could now see the small changes in her expression, the way her eyes sparkled less, how her smile became rarer with each passing day. She was withdrawing, and he was blindly contributing to that withdrawal.
Sitting there, now alone in the room, Matt felt the weight of his own guilt and regret. He realized that he had never made Y/N feel like the most important woman in her life. Instead, he had relegated her to the background, allowing the shadows of his former relationship to contaminate the present. Y/N's love and dedication towards him contrasted painfully with his own indifference.
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littlechivalry · 26 days
Text
Eddie wakes up alone.
It shouldn't feel like a surprise. Apart from a few nights after he first moved in with Wayne when nightmares chased him out of his own bed and the few foggy memories of his childhood and mom that weren't colored by the looming presence of Al Munson he has always slept alone. Likes it that way in fact, he gets to stretch out and move, leave a light on if he wants it, pace next to the bed if he needs to.
Still, he thought...
This thing with Steve had been a surprise. Absolutely no part of it was predictable, starting with a broken bottle and Reefer Rick's shitty boathouse, racing through the closest to hell Eddie ever wants to see not once but twice, and then the hospital room.
Eddie hadn't even had the chance to make full eye contact with the guy when suddenly they were invalid neighbors, ass-baring hospital gowns and all.
Two weeks at Hawkins General, another month in Loch Nora while Wayne got their new place sorted and Eddie spent almost every waking minute feeling his mangled bites healing with Steve beside him, a full companion in misery.
Eddie had never spent that much time with another person, not one on one. The kids came and left without warning and Buckley had taken up part time residence on the living room couch but there were a lot of hours where it was just Eddie. And just Steve.
They talked about everything.
The full tale of the Upside Down was their first topic of conversation, with the rest of the party popping in to add details and commentary. Then it was music, and school, and family. They talked about their pasts, the shared moments they had discovered talking through everything else and the moments that neither had ever shared before.
They talked about the future. Eddie's first and truest love was stories. It's why he read. It's why he played D&D. It's why he loved the music that he loved.
Steve talked about family, both the one he had been born into and the one that had built up around him.
It had built so slowly over the weeks and Eddie had never felt something like this before so he didn't realize he was falling in love until he was well and truly right in the middle of it. And wonder of wonders it felt like Steve was there with him.
So why did Eddie wake up alone?
After all the time they spent hanging out together Steve had finally insisted they have an official date or as close to one as it was safe to get. They drove out of town, visited a diner neither of them had ever seen before where they knew nothing and no one and no one knew them. They had burgers, and split a plate of fries. Two vanilla milkshakes that they traded halfway through their meals, not quite sharing but as close as they could get to the single shared milkshake of Eddie's first date dreams. So close it took Eddie's breath away, that he could have something like this.
Steve drove Eddie home, dropped him off at the door with a chaste kiss. Like a gentleman. Like a knight.
And then an hour later he climbed through Eddie's window with a bag of chips and a movie.
They had fallen asleep together in a pile of crumbs and though Eddie couldn't see Steve's face in the dark, he assumed the other boy was smiling too.
Eddie rubbed his eyes. They were dry. He wasn't crying. He wasn't going to cry.
His head felt heavy with the tears he had decided, as an adult, not to cry. He used the bathroom without turning on the light and then headed out to the living room, half hoping Wayne would be there, half hoping he might be alone to mourn something that had barely begun before it ended.
"Hey there, kid," Wayne murmured behind the newspaper. "Have a good night?"
Eddie sighed. "It was. The morning, not so much."
"Yeah, I saw your boy off this morning."
"That's more than I can say," Eddie scoffed.
Wayne put the paper down and Eddie felt pinned in place by his uncle's eyes.
"Look, it's fine," Eddie said. "We had a good night but he had to leave. And I get it. This is a lot. I'm a lot." Eddie gestured at himself and if he flailed his arms a little more than usual it was fine. He was just... on edge.
Wayne looked at Eddie again and his concerned expression faded into something almost like... glee?
Eddie pointed at his uncle. "What are you laughing at, old man?" He had to admit he felt a little betrayed. Wayne had been almost as excited about this date as Eddie was.
"Look at your arm, son," Wayne says softly before picking the newspaper up again.
Eddie stepped back. "What?" He looked down at his arms.
Scars and the tattered remnants of his tattoos, nothing he hadn't seen before. He twisted his arms, trying to see whatever it is Wayne had seen and high on his bicep he saw it.
Thick black marker lines, smudged into his skin in the shape of Steve's terrible penmanship.
'At work babe. Love you.'
"How the fuck did he do this," Eddie muttered.
"You sleep like the dead," Wayne muttered. "He could have written an essay if your arms weren't so damned skinny."
Eddie gasped, then laughed. "Wayne! How could you?"
Wayne just laughed, the paper jostling with his breath.
Eddie stumbled his way to another kitchen chair, his eyes still focussed on the note.
"Don't think he wanted to leave," Wayne said. "Practically had to shove him out the door."
"Yeah," Eddie said, softly. He could get it tattooed. Those words. 'Love you.'
"I expect he'll be back tonight?"
Eddie nodded, then stood up sharply. "Not if I go to him first!"
Eddie charged for the door. Too many times had Steve chased after him, now it was Eddie's turn.
"You might want to put a shirt on," Wayne called.
Eddie froze in space, his outstretched fingers only inches away from the doorknob.
After he put a shirt on. And probably shoes. And grabbed his keys.
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inthedoghousern · 8 months
Text
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i miss you, i'm sorry
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: you and lando break up and a few months later he wants to talk. inspired by "i miss you, i'm sorry" by gracie abrams.
contains: angst
1.9k words
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from: lando (1 new message) december 4, 11:07pm
hey, i'm back in uk for a bit.
You stare at the text for who knows how long. A lump forming in your throat. You had spent hours crying over him. You had spent hours moving back to the UK from the Monaco flat you shared. A text from your ex was the last thing you needed right now.
to: lando december 4, 11:31pm
okay.
A few minutes go by and you get no response. But then your phone lights up with an incoming call, it’s Lando. You stare at it for a few seconds, letting it ring. But you do pick up.
“What do you want.”
Your ex was quiet for a few seconds before he simply replied “I’m just calling to ask how you’re doing.” After this, he was silent for yet another short moment.
“I miss you.”
“Lando…” you trail off. “This isn’t fair.” He was the one who broke things off in the first place. You've been destroyed for weeks, and now just starting to get yourself together.
“I know, I know this is my fault… but just hear me out…” Lando began, but there was a hitch in his voice. He remained silent after this and you could hear his quickening breaths.
“Please… I want us to work this out.”
You're silent for a few moments. “What, you want to just pretend nothing happened? Lando, I don’t think you understand what you’ve been putting me through.”
Lando was silent once more. There was no way he could expect you to instantly forgive him. Your trust in him was shattered and your heart was stomped on.
“No, I don’t want to pretend like everything is fine, it’s not and I know that… please, I just need some time with you so we can talk, that’s all I ask.”
You bite the inside of your lip. This is a bad idea. Hearing his voice is already breaking your heart over and over again. Seeing him might just break you entirely. “I don’t know…”
Lando was still quiet, seemingly thinking about your response. After several seconds, he spoke again.
“Can I come over?”
Again, you're silent for a few moments.
“Fine.”
“I’ll be there soon…” Lando tells you and hangs up.
-
You hear the doorbell ring. You walk over and open the door.
Lando was standing before you dressed in a black hoodie. His curls were messy and you could tell from the way he had his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, that he was nervous.
You open the door wider and move to the side. Not saying anything out loud, but telling him to come in.
Lando stepped into the house and the silence between you two was deafening. He removed his hands from his pockets and glanced around, he had never been inside your new place before. Eventually, his eyes settle on you.
You two don't say anything for several seconds, but the tension in the air is suffocating. This is the first time you have seen each other since the day he broke up with you.
-
Past: August 8th, Monaco.
“Lando, what are you talking about?” Tears are welling up in your eyes and you're trying your best to keep your voice steady.
“This just isn’t working,” he responds. He won’t even look at you.
“Lando,” you plead. “This is out of nowhere, you have to see that.” You take another step towards him, he’s still not making eye contact with you and he doesn’t respond.
“Please just tell me what’s wrong. What can I do?” You're grasping at anything. “Lando look at me.” You gently grab the sides of his face and try to meet his eyes.
Lando finally met your gaze but he wouldn’t hold it for long.
“Neither of us is happy.” Lando’s voice had a hard edge to it, it was clear that he was struggling to keep his voice from breaking.
You let go of him and pull back. His response sends you over the edge, your tears are uncontrollable now.
“What are you talking about?” you sob. “Lando, what is this really about? Don't do this.”
Just the other day you were smiling, tangled up with one another. He was whispering sweet nothings in your ear, you did the same back. Everything was perfect. Everything has been perfect for days, weeks, months, years. He said himself everything is perfect. He said himself that he loved you.
“It has to be like this okay?” Lando replied, his voice cracked with emotion. He was clearly trying to keep himself from crying.
“Then explain! Tell me why. Lando, please we can work this out.” Your voice is shaking and tears are still pouring out of your eyes.
The look on his face is blank, he doesn't know what to say. He couldn’t keep looking at you, it was clear he was trying to keep his composure.
The two of you stand opposite of one another, not moving until Lando finally speaks.
“I’m sorry.”
He says nothing else. You both stand in silence, tears streaming silently from your eyes. They start to fall from his too. “I’m sorry? That’s it?” you finally say in a low voice, with a small hint of anger.
“3 years you’re destroying just like that, and the only thing you can give me is an I’m sorry?”
Lando looks down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with you.
You shake your head and rub your eyes. This can’t be real. “Oh my god,” you choke out with a laugh. A scoff? You're in disbelief. You're pissed. You're devastated.
Lando remained silent. He can't bring himself to respond to you as he knows nothing he can say would make this situation any better. He was a mess of emotions himself, he could feel his head spinning.
You just stand and look at him. Eventually, you turn away and start grabbing your stuff. Essential items at least. You don’t want to start thinking about getting the rest of your stuff out of this flat. Your life that’s accumulated in this space over the past 3 years.
Lando remained silent, he was lost in his thoughts, thinking about what he had just done.
-
Present: Glastonbury, December.
Lando stands in front of you, feeling overwhelmed with guilt and remorse for what he had done.
He broke your trust, he crushed your heart, and now, he's shown up at your doorstep, wanting to talk to you.
You walk into the kitchen and lean against the counter. He follows you, standing in the doorway, watching you.
He knows he shouldn't have come here. He knows he doesn't deserve a second chance with you after how he treated you.
Lando looks at you, his heart aching, wishing he could simply hold you close right now.
“So?” you finally ask.
Lando was silent for a few seconds, looking into your eyes with deep sorrow.
“I…” Lando stumbles over his words momentarily, trying to find the right thing to say.
You don't wait for him to find it.
“Am I ever going to get an explanation? Why you did it.” You can feel tears forming and you're trying your best to hold them back. He’s been here for all of 5 minutes.
The two of you stand in silence, with neither of you wanting to speak. Finally, Lando takes a deep breath.
“I was a mess,” Lando began slowly. He looks at you, his gaze fixed on yours. You could see the sadness in his eyes, he was clearly struggling with his emotions again.
“Racing was pulling me in all different directions. I was losing grip on that balance we had." Lando’s voice was shaky. He couldn’t help but feel like he had made a horrible mistake by ending things and letting you walk out of his life.
“I was overwhelmed, I don't know. Everything just fell apart and I had to choose. You were never anything but supportive. It’s my fault.”
You bite the inside of your lip again. You're really trying to stop yourself from crying. “That’s not good enough.” You cross your arms across your chest. “We-“ your voice breaks. "...We could've talked about it. If that's how you were feeling, we should've talked about it."
“I know that’s not enough…” Lando begins, “There’s so much I want to say… please, just hear me out. I know you must hate me right now but… I still love you.”
You break. The tears start flowing from your eyes because of his last statement. You quickly bring one of your hands to your face, trying to brush the tears away.
Seeing the tears stream down your cheeks immediately makes Lando take a step towards you. He doesn’t hesitate. He takes your hand in his, removing it from your face and wiping the tears off for you.
Finally, his eyes meet yours again, and without saying more, Lando pulls you into a close embrace.
You start sobbing into his shoulder. You've missed him so much. It's like you've had an unhealable wound ever since the day he completely ripped himself out of your life.
Lando holds you tightly, pressing his cheek against your head, and wrapping his arms around you. He could feel your body shaking with your sobs, he had never felt so much guilt before.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
You don’t know how long it's been when you pull away. Your eyes meet once again as Lando grabs your face, his thumb running across your jawline.
“I ruined us. I know that. But please, it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made,” he says low.
You don’t know what to say. He’s holding you the way you tried to hold him that day. But now you're the one with no words.
You should get more of an explanation. You deserve more of an explanation. But his hands are cradling your face, and you look into his eyes and you want to get lost in them. You want to cry even more.
“I’ve missed you so much,” you finally get out.
Lando could see the emotion in your eyes, your voice was cracking, your entire body seemed on edge. He wanted nothing more than to simply hold you close.
Before any words leave his mouth, Lando presses his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate and deep, he didn’t care that this wasn’t exactly the right moment, he wanted to finally feel you again.
The kiss tastes salty from your tears. But you kiss him back. Maybe you shouldn’t.
You continue to kiss, neither of you wanting to stop, letting your emotions take over as you feel a familiar level of comfort with one another. You both feel a sense of relief at this moment like a weight has been lifted off of you.
You could feel Lando’s heart beating against yours as he continued, one hand on your face, the other on your back, pulling you closer.
When you break the kiss, Lando pulls away slightly, just enough so that the two of you could lock eyes. You both seem to be in an emotional daze as Lando’s hand runs from your face to the back of your neck.
“Can I stay?” he whispers to you, his voice sounding shaky, but you could hear the pleading in it.
You nod as your eyes travel all over his face. You don't want to look away, you're scared if you do he'll disappear again.
Lando kisses your forehead and pulls your body closer, the two of you still in an embrace.
You feel the weight of his body against yours and you sink into him, feeling all of the comfort you missed. Lando was feeling the same thing, not wanting to let you go, not wanting to let this moment end.
You know there's so much more to talk about. So much more he needs to explain. But right now it can wait. Right now, you just want to be with Lando. Right now, he just wants to be with you.
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foreingersgod · 5 months
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what if like you did a CC x reader fic with Good luck, babe! And like reader is like Caitlins gay awakening and stuff…
Good Luck, Babe! . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: Good luck, babe! by Chappell roan
A/N: i’m aware that in a good chunk of my cc fics that it starts with reader and cait “just hooking up” or something like that, so i swear this will be the last time i do that 😭😭
It's fine, it's cool
You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth
the sun peaked through your linen curtains, making your eyes flutter open. you glanced over at your phone, 8:30, and over to the left side of your bed where she laid. she was sleeping peacefully, sheets pulled up to her collarbone, hair spewed in different directions against one of your pillows. she looked so beautiful like this. having her naked, in your bed, was truly a blessed sight to see so you cherished it whenever you could.
as she snored softly, still deep in a dream, you turned over on your side to look at her properly. you let your fingers run across the prominence of her collarbone, toying with the hem of your sheets that hid the rest of her gorgeous body. you watched as her lips parted with each breathe, how her nose twitched, and how her faint freckles danced across her cheeks. she was a sight for sore eyes.
not much later, her eyes fluttered just like yours had moments ago, yawning as she stretched for the first time this morning. she looked over, noticing you had been staring for who knows how long.
“take a picture, it’ll last longer” she laughed, leaning over and kissing your forehead before shuffling out of bed and starting to get dressed.
“no picture could beat the real thing” you grinned back. she looked over, smiling back at you, grabbing her keys.
“hey i gotta go, connor’s got this weird brunch thing that he needs me for, but um” she made her way to the door “i’ll text you”
“wait!” you stopped her before she could leave. she let you of the handle to your bedroom and turned to face you, giving you full attention. suddenly you felt vulnerable, still naked and barely covered by your sheets, laid right in front of her “would you want to grab dinner sometime this week? i know we meet up on fridays, but…i don’t know i thought it’d be nice to see you sooner”
“um…yea…you know i’ll have to text you or something” she shuffled around, avoiding eye contact. “it’s just that me and connor…he’s still my boyfriend…”
you fought the urge to roll your eyes “yea, yea i know”
“well i can’t just go out with you all the time like we’re girlfriends. me and connor are still together”
“even if you’re in my bed every weekend?” you scoffed “whatever, caitlin, i get it”
she just stared at you, not wanting to pick a fight. instead she opted for a sigh and left your apartment, leaving you alone and wanting.
you wished she didn’t have to pretend. you wished the two of you ended up differently.
And guess I'm the fool
With her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof
you shouldn’t have let yourself get this attached to someone you knew you’d never be able to have. you intentionally put yourself in situations with caitlin, hoping that, in some magical fantasy in your head, she’d fall for you. but you knew her. you knew about connor and you knew that being ‘gay’ was no where near something she was willing to accept, wether you were in the picture or not.
you found yourself constantly thinking back on all the times you’d realized that you were in love other her.
when she fell asleep on your shoulder during a movie night with your mutual friends.
when you and caitlin decided to road trip to tennessee to visit a close friend who was graduating. you let her have the aux and watched as she hung out the window. sunset illuminating her face, wind rushing through her long hair, singing the lyrics completely wrong but she didn’t care. she was the sun itself, in your eyes.
when she came to your crying for the first time, sobbing about something connor had done. how she so angry at him and needed a friend to spend the night with.
when she came over a second time, completely distraught again. something about how she didn’t feel right, that her head was messing with her. she was having thoughts. thoughts about you, about women, and that she was having a crisis about her sexuality.
when she came over a third and fourth and however many amount of times, when she opened up about those thoughts with you. asking you if you would help her. asked if you would take her to bed, to relive some of her thoughts. make her feel good, worship her like connor could never do.
but your crush never went past that. taking her to bed and waking up with her already gone most mornings, shooting you a ‘thank you’ text and saying she’d see you next friday.
I don't wanna call it off
But you don't wanna call it love
You only wanna be the one that I call baby
“caitlin, can i talk to you for a second” you asked, moving her hands away from the waistband of your shorts.
“yea, baby” she said, calling you that like she didn’t know it destroyed you on the inside to hear it “what’s up?”
you bit your lip, nervous to pester her with this again, but you don’t think you can handle it much longer. this secret sleeping around situation was taking a toll on you and you don’t want to be waiting around for someone that will never come.
“i love the time i get with you so so much” you began “but i don’t think i can keep doing this”
“i’m sorry, what?”
“i just don’t feel like being something you keep on the side. or like being a secret for that matter. i’ve had feelings for you for a very long time and it’s very clear that you don’t feel the same, so i think we need to call this off if that’s the case.”
“oh my- are you serious?” she furrowed her eyebrows, voice raising “i don’t get the privilege to just come out and tell everyone i like girls, YN. and regardless, like i’ve told you countless times, me and connor are still together”
“but why, caitlin?” you matched her tone “do you even love the guy? cause last time i checked, you don’t even spend time with him anymore. why? cause you’re always here with me playing fucking house! i don’t care if you don’t want to come publicly out, but…but i don’t think it’s fair that you treat me as some play thing for when you want to play pretend!”
she tugged at her hair in annoyance “jesus fucking christ, YN. whatever this is between me and you…it’s not love, alright? i thought you wanted this?! you’ve been more than willing to fuck me every time. so i’m not really understanding why you’re so upset!”
you felt sick, like you were genuinely going to puke. she was a mess and you’re not going to be her experiment for when she’s having trouble with her sexuality.
“just fucking leave, clark” you shook your head “i’m not doing this with you anymore. come back when you’re ready to figure yourself out.”
You can kiss a hundred boys in bars
Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling
after that night, caitlin was a disaster. she was choosing to ignore what you said; about being in love, about connor, about everything. just because you fucked on the side didn’t mean she was gay…right?
she hadn’t been herself at all. she was screwing up at practices, forgetting about events and team dinners she needed to attend. she was starting to fall behind in classes, every part of her life was crumbling.
even when she laid in bed, inched over to the very edge of the mattress, connor snoring obnoxiously loud from the other end, she couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she saw you. things were never right with connor, she had always known that subconsciously, but it was becoming very clear how loveless this relationship truly was. but she brushed it off, tricking her mind into thinking that this was how things were meant to be.
she had been with men all her life, taught that this was what girls were supposed to do. so to imagine a life in which she ended up with you was just some silly dream that was meant to stay only as an unattainable desire.
for the nights that she couldn’t sleep, she would spend in the gym practicing, trying to shake off the truth that gnawed at the back of her head endlessly. this was good, she thought, basketball always made her feel better. it was her safe place. here she could leave her worries at the door and find comfort in the game, not even thinking about you.
but no matter how many shots she took, how many baskets she made, no matter how many drills she ran to make herself forget, she found herself coming back to the thought of you.
You can say it's just the way you are
Make a new excuse, another stupid reason
after about a month without you, caitlin had started to realize how much she was fucking up.
“caitlin, are you good?” kate had approached her after practice one day “you’ve been way off. and no offense, but your shots have been awful. what’s going on?”
“nothing” she plastered a fake grin on her face “nothing really, just been having a rough patch with connor, but we’re chill. just gotta lock in” she tried to joke.
kate laughed along, but she knew caitlin too well. there was definitely something up with her. but again, knowing caitlin, she needed to let her deal with it on her own.
caitlin had numerous people approach her about this. about her behavior and how she seemed to be struggling recently. but she brushed it off every single time, probably giving a dozen different excuses as to why she was acting in such a manner. she hoped that she would eventually believe them herself.
Good luck, babe!
You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling
you truly hoped that she was doing ok. you hadn’t heard from her in quite some time, not bothering to reach out to her in fear that you’d poke the bear and make it worse. all you wanted was for her to realize what she truly felt. wether it be in love with you or that she had never loved connor at all the begin with, it didn’t matter, you just wanted her to finally see how beautiful life was when someone found their true self.
you had been in her position before: unforgiving parents, no one to trust, you’d even had the remorseless religion to add on to all of the reasons why you felt like you couldn’t be yourself. and you knew what i took to get to where you are now.
caitlin believed that most things could be fixed by either ignoring it, or fixing it right away and never looking back. but this wouldn’t be the case now, you already knew, she would have to come to terms with it eventually.
And when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night
With your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife
caitlin shot up out of bed, gasping for air, clawing at the sheets that seemed to be glued to her skin. another nightmare, she’d been having those recently. she looked over, squinting her eyes in the dark, making sure connor was still asleep. letting a sigh of relief go when she realized he was out cold.
her hands found their way to her hair, hands scratching at her scalp, elbows balanced on her knees. she was losing her god damn mind. she couldn’t stand him, she no longer held love for connor (not there was any in the beginning). with each passing day that she had spent with him, she found that her heart beat more and more for you each time.
And when you think about me, all of those years ago
You're standing face to face with "I told you so"
the idea of loving you was tormenting her every single day for the last few months. you were the reason she woke up every morning, the reason she worked so hard to win each game, and the reason she woke up the next morning and dumped connor. she was finally able to see clearly now, finally able to understand that she was madly fucking in love with you.
she realized that no matter how many times she fought the feeling or no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, that you were the one thing she breathed and lived for.
You know I hate to say it, I told you so
she didn’t even know what she was doing or what she was going to say, but she found herself making her way out of her apartment and into her car. she had to see you and tell you how wrong she was this whole time. that she was so in love with you that her body shook with it.
her heart pounded as she turned onto your street, immediately singling out your building and noticing your apartment lights were still on. her whole body must’ve been shaking with the way that she could barely put the car in park and unbuckle her seat belt. but she managed to make it up every flight of stairs and to your door where the shiny gold ‘103’ sat, practically antagonizing her.
her mind was on autopilot, not even realizing she had already knocked three times until she heard your footsteps approach the door. and suddenly there you were in all your glory, as beautiful as ever.
you were dressed in your comfy clothes, fuzzy cow slippers on your feet, hair messed up, and your necklace backwards. but she thought you were the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen.
“caitlin?” you rubbed your eyes in astonishment “what-um-what are you doing here?”
“hi” she breathed “i know it’s late, im sorry, really. but i just need to see you”
“caitlin i don’t want to do this again. it’s been months and you show up at more door suddenly at what? 12:40 in the morning? i thought i told you i was done with the whole charade.” you stated firmly, about to shut the door on her, but she wedged her foot between the space of the door before you could close it.
“no, no. it’s not…it’s not like that. i meant that i need to come clean to you”
still skeptical, you let her in, watching as she politely hung up her jacket. you ushered her to the couch, grabbing her a glass of water and preparing yourself for whatever she was about to confess.
“when you ended things with me,” she broke the silence “i thought i’d eventually get over it because i didn’t think what we had was all that serious. i was scared to admit that i didn’t love connor…and most importantly that…that i like girls.”
you looked at her solemnly, you knew how hard this was for her.
“and i guess is till don’t know exactly what i am, but…but what i do know is that i took you for granted and i treated you unfairly. you didn’t deserve any of it and for that i apologize”
“hey it’s…it’s ok now. yea i was upset with how things were going, but i’m proud of you now that you’ve recognized what you’ve done and you’re working on yourself.” you tried to reassure her.
“i really am trying” she stated “because i want to. for you.”
you watched as her eyes twinkled under the glow of your lamp, tears rimming her lash line. you noticed the way her nose twitched like how it did that one morning she woke up in your bed. and how she looked just as flawless as she did when you had met her.
“YN, im in love with you.” she blurted “i know i have no right to come here and say that. especially after i completely disregarded your feelings for me. i don’t expect you to take me back and try and love me again, but i just need to you to know that i have spent every day regretting what i’ve done”
there was another heavy silence again, filling the room instantly, encapsulating that words that rolled off of her tongue. you were honestly at a lost for words. of course you were still in love her, you never stopped, but now things were real. you were watching your deepest dreams unravel to you right in front of your eyes.
“You know…I hate to say it but” you said, watching as caitlin braced herself for what she assumed was rejection “…I told you so” you couldn’t hold back your grin, immediately falling into playful laughter as you scooted closer to her on the couch.
“i’m in love with you too” you finally admitted out loud for the first time in months.
her shoulders finally relaxed, exhaling after holding her breathe waiting for your response. she laughed with you, just glad to here you say those words.
“don’t scare me like that” she said, face inching slowing towards you “i don’t think i would’ve been able to handle the rejection”
“don’t worry, i don’t think i ever could’ve stopped loving you if i tried” you whispered, finally closing the gap between you. you’d kissed her many times before, but this would be the first kiss that actually mattered. “but i really did tell you so” 
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
A/N: yayyy!! happy ending!! <3
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russellsppttemplates · 6 months
Note
Reader being self conscious with her body after having her and Charles last baby (i forgot his name im so so so sorry!) and Charles, Herve and Amelie just like complimenting her and not understanding how good it makes her feel
Note: don't worry, there are so many kids in this blog, even I have to go and check paddock daycare once in a while!
Cw: reader's insecurity about her postpartum body
You sometimes wondered if Charles noticed all the ways your body changed to accommodate motherhood, especially now having had your third baby. But then you were easily showered with compliments from everyone around you, and you swore Charles, Hervé and Amélie were having a competition on who could give you the most compliments.
"Mama! You look so pretty!", Amélie said, hugging your legs as you prepared your water bottle so you could feed baby Thomas once you sat down, "thank you, ma belle, the hairstyle papa did on you is very pretty, too", you replied.
"Papa! Have you seen mama today? She has a new dress!", Hervé pointed out as you joined the boys in the living room, "This is an old one actually, I've had it since you were a baby, Hervé", you reasoned, suddenly feeling shy with all eyes on you and also feeling a little more beautiful.
The warm temperatures called for a day outside in the pool, the kid excited to have Thomas spend a little bit of time in the water even if Charles just wet his feet since he was only a couple of weeks old, "you're not getting in, mama?", Hervé asked, "your swimsuit makes you look like a princess".
Just on cue, Thomas started crying, recognising it was his hungry cry, "I'm afraid Thomas needs me, I'll swim later", you said as Charles helped you grab Thomas so you could go and feed him.
Your little boy ended up falling asleep on your chest, milk drunk against your skin that was exposed from the neckline of the swimsuit, all while Amélie got out of the pool, wrapping herself in the towel and having Hervé follow suit once Charles mentioned snack time.
"You're so comfy to sleep on, mama", Amélie whispered as she climbed on you after you assured her it would be fine, grasping some of the fabric of your cover up and leaving your hips exposed, the stretch marks fully on show as you thought about all of it. Your body was all of your three kids' first home, providing them comfort, warmth and safety, and now that they were out, you were still those exact same things for them. And they loved you no matter what.
"Do you have room for me?", Hervé asked as he stepped closer to the sun lounger, "Come here, amour", you said as you patted your side, having Hervé cuddle up to you and resting his hand on your tummy mindlessly, sighing happily.
A few moments later, Charles stepped outside, taking the scene in front of him in and laughing loudly, "I don't suppose there's space for me on there, hm?", he smiled.
"I think we can make some room", you said, adjusting your position so Charles could lay closer to your thighs, "maybe there?", you giggled, seeing him happily scoot closer to your and intertwining your legs.
"Don't laugh, amour, I want to touch you too!", Charles said as he achieved what he wanted while his hand squeezed your thigh, "it's not my fault you are such an amazing mama and that we all want a little bit of you!", he chuckled, kissing your temple.
"You really think so?", you wondered, "this is all you, amour, how kind, amazing and great you are - why do you think I'm nearly fighting Hervé for this?", he said as the little boy kept inching closer to you, "she's my mama, you should've gotten her first", your oldest son said before Amélie let out "I agree", making him shake his head as he smiled, "thing is I did get here first, actually, like years before all of them", he chuckled.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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tragedy-of-commons · 4 days
Note
"You're burning up" + Aventurine?
"You're burning up."
Aventurine doesn't know what else to say, so he goes with those three words. Safe bet - the doting parents in all the movies and sitcoms say it just like that; with care and worry, palm splayed out across the ill's forehead.
And holy hell are you ill.
Collapsed on his lavish sofa, you groan in response, swatting his hand away. "I'm gonna be just fine..."
He's inclined to disagree. You're sweating buckets despite how he'd mashed the thermostat down to its limit - he even had to shrug on a jacket. Perhaps Aventurine would have poked fun at you for your intolerance, but he has enough decorum to hold his tongue. He really doesn't like seeing you so put out, as much as you're welcome to crash here.
"Your poker face could use some work. Save your words, we can hang out another time," he dismisses easily, bracing himself for your incoming opposition. He reluctantly breaks away from your side to amble over to the coffee table, beginning to clean up the remnants of game night.
"No way," in the corner of his eye, he notices you shifting restlessly, "finals are coming up. Won't have time after this..."
Aventurine sighs, sweeping his very nice clay chips into one hand while using the other to click open their case. This time of year, things become almost unbearably hectic. He has exams coming up in a few weeks himself, and though he never needs to study, he always adheres to your modus operandi of 'cram now, cry later'.
"Well, you're not going back to those dorms in that state."
"You sound like a dickhead," you murmur. "You think I wanna live there? Shitty thin walls... shitty dining hall food..."
He chuckles, snapping the case shut and dusting his hands of nonexistent dust. "You're cruder than usual when you're feverish."
Aventurine almost startles when you gasp. "I have a fever?!"
...and you're loopy, too.
He gets you to sit still with the promise of retrieving a fever reducer and some water. Aventurine roots through his bathroom cabinets, combing through his own extensive collection of self-care and skin products to reach where he keeps his medication.
It takes several minutes of crouching down on the tile for him to realize he doesn't have any. He clicks his tongue - well, it seems his own lifestyle has backfired on him once again. Aventurine doesn't get sick often, doesn't spend a lot of time at home, and has enough stubborn resilience to power through any ailment that might plague him.
But for you? The only reason he spends any time at all in this stupidly expensive penthouse?
Yeah, he'll make a quick trip to the drugstore.
When he walks back into the living room with his shoes on and wallet in his pocket, his heart warms. You've somehow slipped into an upside down position, hair spilling over the edge of the cushions. You somehow make it look comfortable, eyes closed and brow free of any creases.
"Does that help your sinuses?" he asks, really only to test if you're awake.
"You smell good..."
Aventurine ignores how those words make him feel, eyeing the door (and where your shoes are lined up neatly against the wall).
"I have to restock on Tylenol," he swallows. "Will you be okay by yourself?"
"Yes," you respond coherently this time.
Before he departs, he cajoles you into another position in case you throw up like that and end up choking - not without some strangely endearing complaints that you'd normally never voice, positive thing you are.
He doesn't get to the inside mat before you pipe up again, making him stop in his tracks.
"C'mere," you cough. "Please, humor a dying star's last wish..."
He really should be going so he can get your temperature down quicker, but leaving you on the sofa while you're about to cough up a lung strikes him as cruel. Aventurine gives into your dramatics - which happen to perfectly align with his own at times - and makes his way over to you.
"What is it? Did I forget something?" he sits down on the armrest, perching there with perfect balance. When you don't respond immediately, an odd little expression on your face, he rests his chin on his fist, pensive.
You hum.
He doesn't expect much; a request for another pillow, a plea for him to turn on a movie for you while he's out. Instead, he's caught off-guard as you throw an arm around his waist and pull, effectively whisking him off the high ground and right into your grasp.
Aventurine initially tenses but settles as you nuzzle closer. You're the only person in the world that can get away with loving him so easily.
"M'sorry I got sick on game night..." you whisper, uncaring that you're spreading your sickness (and your homely oxytocin).
He finds himself not caring much either.
"Do you believe me to be that hung up on you catching a cold?"
Aventurine's heart rabbits cruelly - he's sure you can hear it, with the way you're snuggled against him and whatnot, but maybe he'll get lucky like he always has, and you'll remain oblivious and perfect and unbothered, despite what you do to him.
You sniffle, words thick with exhaustion. "I dunno. Just stay."
He can't. Not just because he has to go pick up that Tylenol, but because he feels like he might die if you keep saying things like that.
"Five minutes," he acquiesces.
Aventurine waits for your celebration of victory, but no such thing comes. You're fast asleep, clinging to him like he's worth something.
He stays for a lot longer than five minutes, only wriggling out of your arms when he's sure you won't wake up to find him gone. When he returns later with his spoils (which also just so happen to include your favorite drink), you're cradling a pillow in his place.
Before Aventurine is your boyfriend or lover, he is a liar.
He is most definitely, unequivocally, one hundred percent hung up on you.
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🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren
a/n: modern au because i couldn't possibly resist. just wanted to mention here that u guys absolutely killed it with these quotes. you have my gratitude! also why is he like that. soggy wet cat
event post here
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sonderessence · 1 year
Note
What abt a
e42 miles x spiteful blk fem spider reader
so what if miles (1610) cheated on reader with gwen (😒..) and to get revenge on him for cheating on reader with.. gwendolyn.., we get with his earth 42 self!
(if you could make this a series i would literally cry of joy.)
Angst for 1610 Miles (IM SORRY I LOVE YOU POOKIE😭☹️☹️🩷)
Fluff and Romance for 42 Miles (🤭🩷)
DONT HIT MY LINE! ...
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1610!MILES & 42!MILES X READER!
WARNINGS: vulgar laguage (cursing), ✦ CONTAINS: 1610!miles being a bitch!!
a/n: imma be honest, i am such a gwen slander after the movie (still love her tho) 😒 but i so love this idea !!
layout inspo/creds: @hiimayee the best miles fic writer!! :3
NOW PLAYING: I HATE U - SZA
part one. ✦ part two ✦ part three
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your boyfriend 1610!miles had been acting strange since he saw gwen after all these years, but you just shrugged it off as him being happy his friend was back in his dimension.
you never thought that your suspensions were true when you found your now ex with his "friend" behind your back.
you looked around the predominantly empty library in search of your boyfriend miles, who was nowhere to be seen. it was highly unlikely for him to be late to anything.
maybe something was last-minute? you would go ask his mother, rio, since you go to her for everything in the more frequent months since miles had been acting — odd — but you doubt she would know since her and her husband were out of town.
grabbing the pile of books you and miles you used to study for the test you knew you were going to fail, you scurried your way you the hushed library.
the sky was temperate, the perfect temperature for the park you thought, smelling the fresh, cool air — but focus! miles has to be somewhere around campus. you stuffed your books it your bag and made your way to his dorm, maybe he was still asleep?
you made your way to his dorm and softly knocked on his door, careful not to wake him. there was no answer. "miles?" you called to the door. again, no answer.
you pulled out your phone from your bag and went to his contacts. maybe he was sick or just skipped school? you had fussed at him the week prior to get more sleep, since he always came knocking at your window to late at night.
wait, should you call him? he's probably busy. and with that thought, you put your phone back in your bag and made your way to the morales house. it wasn't far from the school you two attended, so getting there wasn't a problem.
you knocked on the front door, once, twice. where is he? "miles!! you home??" you heard footsteps from the other side and the door opened to see miles who looked like he was in a rush. his hair everywhere and shirt backwards.
"hey! you okay?" you asked, your voice laced with concern for the boy.
"yeah." he said, his voice coming out hoarse. he cleared his throught. "m'fine, wassup?"
"you were s'posed to meet up with me at the library." you meant to sound playful, but your words came out more of a scoff. "look," he started. "i just forgot."
"forgot?? miles, you could have texted me! i was fuckin' worried about you!" you were furious, crossing your arms with a frown. "you done?" he asked with an eyebrow raised — you could see the twinge on annoyance in his eyes and you could hear it in his tone. "am i done?" you scoffed "are you done running off and not checking up on people??"
he didnt know how to answer that. "look, i'm hella busy right now, we can do the study thing or whateva later." he pinched the bridge of his nose. "fine." you muttered as you walked out the door.
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a/n: how we feelin' about the first chapter?? i might have gone all out but part two is otw!
TAGS: @kazustqrzz, @kxllanxtdoor ( the tags are being annoying 😒)
©bachirasegoist, 2023 — do not steal or copy works
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little-cereal-draws · 2 months
Text
These three because I love this ship so much
*Penelope and Diomedes flirting with each other yet again* Odysseus: And you two are sure you're not dating? Penelope: 100%. Diomedes: Of course not! Why would you think that? Odysseus: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Diomedes. I fucking wonder.
-
Diomedes: Two years ago, I married my best friend. Diomedes: Penelope is still mad about it, but me and Odysseus were drunk and thought it was funny. -
Odysseus: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Penelope: Yes? Odysseus: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Penelope: Fuck. Odysseus: It's gonna be a fun week! Penelope: I'm going to Diomedes's house. Odysseus: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker. -
Penelope: Having two partners is both amazing and complicated. But all our problems are solved with communication. Diomedes: It’s my turn to cuddle Odysseus. Penelope: FIVE MORE MINUTES DAMMIT! -
Diomedes: H-how do you ask someone out? Odysseus: Well, first- Penelope: Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Diomedes: ...And you said yes? -
*Odysseus is telling a story* Penelope: Wow, Odysseus, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance! Diomedes: Romance? Penelope: I'm in love with him. -
Penelope, holding a rock: Diomedes just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Odysseus: If you don't marry him, I will. -
Diomedes: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Odysseus, blushing: Okay. Penelope: It's fucking summer. -
Odysseus: If I say I love you, will you say it back? Diomedes: Yes. Odysseus: I love you. Diomedes: It back. *Later* Penelope: Why is Odysseus crying face-down on the floor? -
Penelope: Ooh, somebody has a crush Odysseus: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Diomedes. I just think he's cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about him. *Later that night* Odysseus, very much awake: Uh oh. -
Penelope: Did Diomedes just tell me he loved me for the first time? Odysseus: Yeah, he did. Penelope: And did I just do finger guns back? Odysseus: Yeah, you did. -
Penelope: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Diomedes. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Diomedes! Odysseus: Nope. Penelope: In that case, as the archbishop of Odysseus's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Diomedes right on the lips!!! -
Odysseus: Thank you all for coming. Penelope, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Odysseus: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Odysseus Task Force". Diomedes: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way. -
Odysseus: *looking through his closet* Has anyone seen my top? Diomedes: Penelope’s in the kitchen. -
Diomedes: *sucking on a popsicle* Penelope: Pfft, you practicing for when Odysseus gets here? Diomedes: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle* Penelope: *Concern* -
Diomedes: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Odysseus: Like its slips on and off really easily. Diomedes: Odysseus: No, I didn't mean it like that- Penelope: We know what you meant. -
Penelope: Can you please just apologize to Diomedes? Odysseus: Fine, but I have to warn you that this may make me a nicer, better person and that is not who you feel in love with. -
Diomedes: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Odysseus: I’m “a couple of things”. Penelope: I’m “got distracted”. *Penelope and Odysseus high five* -
Penelope: That shirt looks great, Odysseus. Odysseus: Thanks. Penelope: But I bet it would look even better on Diomedes's floor. Diomedes: Are you hitting on Odysseus... for me? -
Diomedes: Hey, Odysseus? Can I get some dating advice? Odysseus: Just because I'm with Penelope doesn't mean I know how I did it.
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rowretro · 8 months
Text
𝒟𝒶𝒹𝒹𝓎 𝐼𝓈𝓈𝓊𝑒𝓈
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✧warnings: mentions of abuse, blood, daddy issues ofc but nothing sexual. Mentions of jealousy-ish
♡synopsis: Riki is your sweet boyfriend, the 2 of you have been dating for 3 years now, you've all had your days, but it seems to him you have the shittiest day everyday. Despite having moved in with him, the way you always go back to your parents home, running about doing errands for a man who always hurts you. The first man in every girl's life that should be a challenge to top off by a boyfriend or husband, was Riki's sworn enemy now.
✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧
"Sweetheart where are you off to?" Riki asked, knowing the answer full well. "I got a certificate for my final piece in art Riki... I'm just gonna show my dad-" she said with a smile as Riki sighed he hated it. How you still believe abuse is just a part of life. How you blame it all on the alcohol instead of the man himself.
All that hate doesn't just come from a bottle, he just lets out the shit he buried deep in his heart. Why won't you get that. He knew you won't listen so he just kissed your forehead "Call me if you need help ok? I'll be as lowkey as I could" Riki assured sternly as y/n nodded. She was nervous. Like a certificate is going to change anything. Art is just another useless thing about her useless existence. She wanted to go home for a different reason.
She wanted to clear out her room in that house. She wanted everything of hers to be out of that building. She wanted to be free from their grip. The abuse, the slut shaming, the hurtful words that made her cry waterfalls though she promised herself she'll never cry. Not even her mother can stand up for her, even if she wanted to.
"You think you're going to last with such a rich handsome man?!... He'll realize sooner or later, he's wasting his life on something so useless. You're a clear anomaly in our family, of course he'll leave you one day. Not even we want you... you slutty thing." Her father scoffed, as he watched her ignorantly pack her things.
"Are you even fucking listening you whore?! this is why I love you sister more." The man mumbled as you froze. SHE was the one who actually helped the family at their worst. SHE was the one who patiently put up with their crap. What did her sister do? go to a better school than you and get higher grades despite being a disrespectful spoiled rat that's what.
What's the big deal anyway? she's leaving "Fine you keep trusting that angel of yours while I go lead a successful life and get rich." she said leaving the room, the man pulling her back by her hair. Was she going to give him the reaction? no. She just silently pulled away. She looked and acted unbothered, and fuck the man was pissed off.
"you're home late- babe you ok? clearly not-" Riki helped her in, blinking as he saw a suitcase behind her "what's this about?..." he asked, feeling a little scared. was she going to leave him? "The last of my belongings... I have no reason to go ho- to my parents house." she simply said as she dragged the suitcase upstairs.
Only three weeks had passed since then, Riki wanted to believe y/n felt free and happy, but he caught her crying on multiple occasions like today. But unlike other days, where he let you get a breather, he wanted to be there for her. So he was. Her crying in his arms, wanting nothing more than him.
"So what if your daddy doesn't like you?.... You have me y/n, my love is way bigger than any man's love and you know it." He said as he kissed her forehead. It's true, all this time she's been moping over daddy hating her. When actually she has Nishimura Riki pouring his love for her unconditionally. Why waste her tears on a piece of shit when she has Riki.
✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧
This is shit bro why tf did I think I cld write fluff?....
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yuyu1024 · 7 months
Text
Rebound
Pairings: s.coups/seungcheol × y/n
Genre/tags: friends/fwb
Warning: 🔞smut, a little fluff, cursing, semi public, dry humping, handjob, oral (m/f receiving), unprotected sex/drunk sex, mention of alcohol
(Always be safe and make sure to have consent... always...)
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 2.5k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
A/N: this might be all over the place since i wrote it while im trying to sleep🫠 Hope you all have a great week ahead....
Brb. 👩🏻‍💻
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You are heart broken right now. Your boyfriend or should we say ex just broke up with you recently. Through text and you haven't gotten the chance to get a grip of it yet. The breakup is still fresh and the way he just dumped you is still painful. He's heartless for doing such thing. No one should ever experience such thing!
"I hate men." You blurt out as you lay down on the mat that you and your friend put down the floor so you guys could lay down whilst star gazing. Of course with alcohol and snacks involve.
"All of a sudden?" Seungcheol heard you as he was just about to come out of his house. "I invited you here at my place... to relax... to entertain you.. for you to stop crying over your ex... then... now you hate men? Even me?" He sound offended
You laugh at his reaction. "Sorry... I can't help it." You say, "Men invades women's lives... flirt with us, make us fall in lovd... then when they feel like they need to go to the next target they'll just throw us like we are nothing..."
"You are not wrong with that... but hey not all men are like that." He sits down next to you, holding a beer on his hand. "Look at me..." he adds
You get up and sit straight next to him, "Yeah... you're a nice person..." you lean your head on his shoulder. "Too nice... even... that's why---"
"Hey. Don't mention the past." He hushes you. "We are talking about your heart break here... not mine that's been years ago."
You giggle at his reaction. "Fine..." you then grab his beer and drink from it. "But just one question.."
"Hmm?"
"Why haven't you dated again after....you know who...?"
"Well... I don't know... I guess... I just haven't found the girl for me yet..."
"Why? Are your standards that high?"
He takes back the beer from your hand. "I'm not like that... I go with my feelings... not like you who goes nuts when you see men with strong arms and built."
"Well," you steal his beer again and drink from it. "I find those traits sexy...how can I resist?"
"Yeah right." He takes his beer again. "Will you stop drinking mine? Just grab one from the cooler... I bought enough for the two of us..."
"But I like yours..." you take it again from him after he just took a sip. "We can always share... we are friends..." You drink the last chug. "Why? Does it bother you?"
"It doesn't. I just thought you'd be the type of person that would be concious about drinking at the same cup or whatever..."
You wipe your mouth with your hand as you put the empty can on the side. "What do you mean?"
"You know... I hear girls at Uni talk about indirect kisses so..."
"Ahh... I see..." you giggle. "How funny... they get so excited by those..."
"You don't?"
"Of course not! It's not like it is a kiss." You roll your eyes. "Making out for sure...is much more exciting..."
"Right." Seungcheol gets up to take another can of beer from the cooler. "Do you want one or you still want to share with me?" He asks as he opens the cooler.
"Grab two... but still we'll share." You say smiling
He shakes head and grab two different kinds. "You are really something..."
***
After a few more drinks and chitchat about your exes, you two finally decided to lay down and watch the stars above you.
With minimal light around you and Seungcheol turning off the lights in the house, just leaving the kitchen lights on where you two will enter back later, the sky is more brighter and clearer in your view.
"Thanks for inviting me here at your family's vacation house..."
"No problem... besides, mom suggested me to bring you here... she said you need this."
"Your mom is so sweet."
"She is... and its a plus because she likes you..."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she always wanted a daughter and I guess....you fit what she dreamed off having..."
"Aww... but...it is a bit sad..."
"Sad? Why?"
You turn over to your side, facing Seungcheol. "Coz I'm not the typical good daughter... and I don't want to disappoint her..."
"Typical good daughter?" He repeats, stunned by your word choice. "You are a good person..."
"Am I?" You laugh and lay down at your back again.
"Yeah... just a little freaky..."
"Freaky?!" You repeat, whipping your head to him. "What do you mean by that?"
"Don't act like you are not..." he smirks, "I've seen you do PDA with your ex."
"And...?" You toss to your side again but this time closer to Seungcheol. "Are you saying I'm freaky because I like to cuddle and touch my man?" You raise your brow at him.
"Don't get insulted. I didn't meant it as a bad way...." he then looks back at you, smiling. "I like freaky to you know... we all have our... kinks..."
"Really? Define... what's freaky for you? What are your kinks?"
"Okay... don't look at me like that..." he laughs, "I don't mean THAT kink... I don't do fifty shades of grey freaky you know..."
"Then... what are the things you like?"
"You really want to know?"
"Of course... coz my freaky may be different from your freaky..." you are grinning
"Hmmm..." he hums, thinking if he should tell you. "Isn't it a bit dangerous to be on a topic like this...?" He asks. Then his eyes starts scanning you from your face to your chest area which is very exposed and in his face right now.
You smirk as you eye him glancing at your cleavage. "Cheolie... are you getting seduced by my boobs right now?" You tease
"How can I not?" He looks away but the corner of his lips is curved into a smile. "You're wearing a verly low V neck shirt right now..."
You giggle at his remarks and then lean in to give your friend a kiss on the cheek which surprised him.
"Why did you kiss me?"
"Nothing... because you are so cute." You say before going back to your original position.
"Me? Cute?" He pouts, "Y/N I just talked about looking at your boobs and you find it cute?"
"I do!" You answer
"You're weird."
"Oh yeah... J am freaky..." you say, laughing.
"You are..." he adds
The two of you suddenly became quiet. The only thing you could hear now is the crackling of the woods in the bon fire and the sound of the breeze and the trees dancing.
"It's getting a bit chilly now..." Seungcheol breaks the silence. "Should we go inside now?"
"No... not yet..." you answer. "I need to do something..."
"Do what--"
Before he could even finish, you already got up and crawled on top of him
"Y/N, what are you doing?"
You move your pelvis, lower than where you are. You are trying to find the perfect spot on top of him.
"Ughh..." he breathes out as you placed your clothed core right on top of his erection. "Y/N...."
"Cheolie... Do you want to make out with me?"
"What??"
You slide your hands from his abdomen to his chest. "We're friends right...?"
"Y/N...." he grabs both your wrists. "I don't think this is a good idea..."
"Please...?" You move your hips, slightly rubbing your core to his bulge and causing him to hiss a curse under his breathe. "You can touch me if you want... I don't mind..."
"You are drunk..."
"No, I'm not..." you frown. "If I'm drunk....I won't be asking for your consent..."
"This is wrong... what you want is not right..."
"I know."
He gets up whilst you are still on hip. "And you still want to?"
You nod.
"Are you trying to use me? As rebound sex?" He chuckles
"I was not suggesting sex yet... but..." you put your arms around his neck and then move your body closer to his, "if you are okay with having sex... I'm game..." you say the few words words in a very seducing manner.
"Why me?"
"Why not?"
He laughs at how serious you are. "You are crazy, Y/N..."
"I know..." you once again rub your clothed core on his erection. Basically dry humping him. "Please...?" Your voice sounded more breathy.
"Damn it." He mumbles as the friction between you two makes him more hard.
"Here." You grab his hand and place it over your boob. "You like my boobs right...?" Then you guide his hand by rubbing his palm over and then squeezing your boob with his hand. "Feel it..." you whisper while letting his thumb feel your hardened nipple through your shirt.
"Fuck, Y/N... you are insane..." he throws his head back, holding on to not crack a smile. He is enjoying your needy side.
"C'mon Cheolie... you are making me wait for too long... do you want to or not?" While you on the other hand is being impatient.
"If I say yes," he says "What happens after we fuck?"
"We can decide after..."
"What if... I want to do it again..."
"Then let's do it again."
He's brows scrunches, "you are okay to with that?"
"Yes..."
"Even though... We are not dating?"
"Seungcheol..." you lean in a kiss him on the cheek again. "Like what we talked about... I am a little freaky... and besides you're my friend..."
"So....we're going to be.... fuck buddies?"
"If you want to..."
"No strings attached? Just... sex?"
"Yes... if I'm horny... I'll call you... and if you are horny and need me... then, call me and I'm willing to fuck you or suck you... anywhere... anytime..."
Shaking his head laughing, "Fucking hell Y/N... you are naughty..."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah, yeah... I know... so now what? Do you want to fuck with me or not? Give me an answer now coz if your not going to... I'll just go to bed..."
"You are very impatient, you know that?" He says smirking whilst his brows is furrowed. He looks amused. "I just want to make sure..." then he places his hand on your waist, sliding them under the hem of your shirt. "You are sure with this... since... we have alcohol in our system..."
"Right..." then as a needy and impatient as you are, you lean in already and started kissing Seungcheol on the lips.
The kiss surprisingly didn't start sloppy or awkward. It just went smoothly and very... arousing.
He is moaning already into the kiss. That's how good it makes him feel already.
"See.... you want it too..." you tease, smiling pulling away and looking at his turned on face.
"Who said I didn't want to?" He then carries you off him and carefully puts you back down the mat. "I wanted to wreck you since this morning when I first saw you wearing this revealing top..." his hand glides up from your tummy to your neck, right under your shirt. The motion lifted your shirt up exposing the lower part of your tits. "Fuck!" He hisses. "Your body is so fucking insane." He lowers his head and starts nibbling your skin from your belly buttom to your underboob.
"Ahh..." you inhale sharply when he sucked your skin and making sure he's leaving a mark. "Are you happy I didn't wear any bra today?" You ask
"The fuck I am." He goes to fully take off your top and start sucking and squeezing both alternately.
You moan at every suck, lick and flick he does. "Oh fuck... yes..." your hips dance every time his tongue touches your nipple.
"You're sensitive. You really like this huh?" He looks up at you while his tongue continues to pleasure you.
You nod your head, smiling while biting your lips.
"Fuck!" You throw your head back the second you felt him cup you down there. And since you're just wearing your black leggings, you could really feel his finger rubbing you there. "Ngggaaaahh..." you breathing heavy
"You sound so sexy...." he hums right st your ears as he watches you react to his strokes.
"You're teasing me too much..." you say
"Do I?" He chuckles
"Let me do the same!"
You are getting competitive now. You don't want to loose even though there is no game. You just know he's enjoying you moan just with just his little touches and licks. But you want him to whimper like you or more.
"Let me show you what I can do for you..." you push him away and then ride him on top again. "It's unfair that I'm the only one moaning in this session...." you move your hands quickly, pushing his jogging pants and his boxers down at the same time. "Dang..." your eyes widened as you see how long and thich he is. "You're hiding this from me?" You gently touch his wet tip.
"I'm not... technically hiding how big I am..." he answers before taking his shirt off. "You know I am big."
"Wow! You are one cocky mother fucker!" You laugh slapping his abs. "Let's see how cocky you'd still be after I make you come..."
"Bring it on." He says, rubbing his palm to your tits. "I've always wanted to know how your mouth feels on my dick..."
"Really? I'm flattered..." leaning in for a sweeet smooch on his lips. "Seems like... you've been having dirty thoughts about me for a while now..."
"I do..." he answers honestly, gazing straight into your eyes as your faces are just inches away. "I've been a bad friend..."
You kiss the corner of his lips. "It's fine.... I like bad boys..." you whisper sensually before you wrap your hands completely around his length.
You start slowly, pumping him while your eyes are glued to his. You want to see his face, his expression change while you squeeze him. You want to see him melt under your touch.
"Y/N... fuck!" He's breathing goes hectic as you now start to lick him. You are teasing him the way he teased you. "Ahh!" He growls when swirl your tongue on the tip.
Now, you begin to take him all in. Your whole mouth wrapped around his length. You are drooling at how big he is in your mouth but its worth it. His moaning and whimpers are all music to your ears.
"I think I'm going...t-to explode... fucking hell Y/N!"
You give him a final lick from buttom to top before giving him sensual kisses on his abdomen and then to his pecks.
"Do you want to explode inside of me?"
Those words pumped his adrenaline even more. You know it did coz his dick got flexes and got more harder than what it is. He even got up as quickly as he can and take you in for a kiss before he warns you and says, "Now, let me fuck you real good... raw and hard."
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