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sweet-lost-husbands · 2 years ago

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Seek Forgiveness

Prompt from @marchtothefuckingsea: you all like the trope of character being so delirious from their injuries that they don't realize someone on their team trying to help them, so they fight back, but I offer you: Character, delirious, weakly fighting someone trying to help them, but they finally recognize who it is and they fight even harder.

Hurt/Comfort

I absolutely loved writing this! Hopefully you enjoy reading this, please feel free to give any advice as well.

Word count: 3k on the dot 🫠🫠

Summary: Reader gets hurt on a hunt and she is forced to rely on someone who has hurt her in the past, to save her life.

Warnings: Serious injury, blood, broken bones, extreme gore, restraints, potions, accidental torture?? but only to save her. Reader is scared of Castiel.

No usage of y/n.

Italics are the character's thoughts

It was a simple mistake- and yet an unforgivable one. That was the irony to it.

I limp forward, slowly catching my breath as I walk. I hold my cold hand against my abdomen, Warm blood leaking through the gaps in my fingers and the fabric of my clothes, coating my body like a blanket as gravity beckons it down. I know I needed to put more pressure, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

I take another sharp painful step, when something crashes into my side, and I'm thrown to the unforgiving floor. I hear the snaps before I feel the hot pain that explodes in my ribs. My lungs gasp for a single breath of air but it seems to fall short.

I have been in this situation once before; it gives me back memories I try deeply to forget.

Then something is on me, clawing at my flesh. I recognise that smell anywhere, the blood thirst- the unholiness. A vamp.

I fumble with the machete, begging my numb fingers to work. My heart pounds in my chest and ricochets of skull, so loud that I plead for moment of silence.

My fingers grip around the handle and gain just enough leverage to sever its head with one flick of the wrist.

I collapse backwards, coughing and spluttering as the world spins and blurs. An all too familiar metallic taste erodes my mouth. All my limbs ache with exhaustion. My eyelids feel heavy, and my mind begins to drift into unknown places.

I almost reach the blissful darkness when an agonising burst of pain brings me back. I scream, thrashing against the sudden pressure on my abdomen. My muscles tense and I arch upward, whimpering as the force increases.

Take it away take it away takeitaway

Water brims in my eyes; I twist my hands up and latch around the unknown arm, in a weak attempt to pry it off. My vision smudges and I can't see their face. They take the moment to increase the pressure even more, so that now I'm sure they are pushing their whole weight against it. I let out a strangled cry and can’t stop from writhing beneath them.

Stop it, pleaseee

“Shhhh, I know it hurts.”

I barely make out the words because they are clouded by a layer of fog. Briefly, a feeling of warmth floats over my forehead, then disappears again, followed by some faint muttering.

“Leave. Me. The. Hell. Alone.” I pant, continuing to push at his arms, anything to get away. When all fails, I start to turn in on myself, but he manages to keep me in place.

Please

“Hey, easy, easy, don’t move!”

I can’t.

One hand continues to put too much pressure on the wound while the other starts skimming over my skin, looking for injuries before coming to rest on my shoulder.

“Oh god, your cold. We have to get you out of here.”

Before I can protest, he pulls me into sitting and drapes my arm over his shoulder to support my weight. I let out a weak sob at the movement, doing what little I can to resist. A moment later, I am hoisted up.

It starts with a few steps, but my side screams at me, and I try to double over and lay back on the ground.

“Crap.” I hear him say, as he repositions my arm to keep me standing.

He reaches under my knees and across my back and pulls me into his chest. I weakly shove at it, squirming from the shift in my ribs.

No no no no

“I know, I know.” He says something more, but I don’t mange to make it out.

The next few minutes go by slowly. Each step moves me, and I can't do anything to stop it. At some point my eyes flutter shut. Yes, darkness. But a sharp pain blossoms as he purposely jolts me awake.

I gasp, once again trying to free myself but he only tightens his grip.

“Stay with me. Don’t you dare close your eyes.”

“No....”

“Yes.” His voice is firm like an order. “Yes, and if you don’t, then I'm going to have to force you back again. And you don’t want that do you?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Eventually I feel him ease his arms that secure me and delicately place me down on something soft. Hopefully a bed but I'm too tired to care. Where am I?

Hands glide over my face and cup it. I try to wave them away, but they don’t budge. A blurry figure is pulled into my eyesight and just for a second, I am able to focus enough to recognise the face. Cas.

Damn it, I should have realised earlier. Not him. Anyone but him. He’s going to hurt me again.

Suddenly I pull every tendril of remaining energy from my body to fight his grasp and propel myself away. The cool floor meets my face and I scramble weakly along it. Whimpering and curling up in a ball, tears adding to the already blood-soaked floor as my limbs finally give out. I’m aware that I'm shivering but its only when I look ahead and see a mirror, do I realise how pale I actually am.

A finger taps my shoulder, and I can sense his presence next to me.

Please don’t hurt me

“Go away!” My voice strains.

“You know I can’t do that.” He brushes a stray strand of hair from my face and forces our eyes to meet. It almost catches me off guard; I see something there that I have never seen before. Pleading.

Why?

“Don’t you dare.” I whisper but he ignores me and tries to slide his fingers to the hem of my shirt. I bat his hands away once more.

“Stop fighting me!” His head is tilted in pure concern.

Why does he care, why is he different?

I start to mumble a response, but a coughing fit quickly wracks my torso. Cas acts quickly, bringing my head up to rest on his lap until it subsides. From there, he lifts me onto the bed and lays me out flat, which I instinctively start to curl.

“I can’t heal you but let me help.”

“No, g’t aw’y fr’m me. Anyth’ng b’t your help.” I slur.

“Okay.” His voice is laced with remorse and heartbreak. “Then you leave me no choice.”

First, he grasps my arm and gently tugs it away from me, securing it with rope; the next is my other hand and then both my legs, until I am fully outstretched. I almost can’t stand it; the pain intensifies. I feebly yank on the restraints, trying to get free myself, but they are unyielding.

I only notice that Cas had left the room when he returns, holding a med kit. He sets it down on the bed-side table and starts taking things out and positioning them in a certain way. “I’m sorry but I’ve already caused you enough pain and if you die and I had a chance to save you......” He trails off. “I won't be able to forgive myself.”

He pauses, taking out a wad of gauze and a bottle of alcohol.

In the haze, I almost miss the stray tear making its way down his cheek. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You d’d.” I rasp, narrowing my vision on what he is doing, with an expression of horror on my face. Don’t put me through more pain, just let me go, why can't he let me go? Surely, he can see that I don’t want this. Surely.

I pull at the restraints again.

“I know.” He purposely hides his face so I can’t see the sadness in his eyes, “And yes, while it may have been true that I was under a spell and couldn’t help it; I am sorry. I will do anything to make up to you, but first let me help.”

Nothing manages to leave my throat as he turns back to me. Was that true? Was it not his fault? I feel the blood drain from my face. Last time he had tortured me and left me for dead, I was lucky that Dean made it to me in time. After that I became a hunter to stop things like what happened to me. But maybe Cas wasn’t a monster- not anymore.

“Stay still.” He says and gives me a sad smile; like he hates what he is about to do. I feel his gentle fingers at the hem of my crimson-soaked shirt, and he carefully lifts it up.

He grabs a few things. “This will hurt...... I am truly sorry.”

There is a slap of elastic gloves being put on and then he nears. I feel as he places one hand a couple of inches above the wound, which I realise is to keep me in place.

The moment the alcohol-soaked gauze skims over my tender skin, I screech, lashing out, fighting the rope bound around me. It burns like my whole abdomen is lit aflame.

Can’t get free can’t get free cantgetfree

My body trembles as Castiel begins to push it in further to clean it. I struggle against him, pushing back into the bed as much as I can, but it doesn’t help. Nothing stops him from taking his time to thoroughly sterilise it. I jerk at every movement of the gauze- back and forth, pushing in the skin, not failing to get right into the corner. Each inch forcing it way through my tender flesh. I cry from the pain, still tugging at the restraints and recoiling against Cas’s hands, completely helpless to free myself.

“Easy, easy, almost done.” He says as he wipes the wound one last time and pulls away.

Sweat trickles down my forehead and I visually relax, panting.

“I’m sorry but that had to be done.” He says over his shoulder as he fiddles with something else in the med kit. “Dean and Sam will be here by tomorrow evening, but you’ll bleed out long before they get here; I'm going to have to stitch it.”

“Nooooo pleaseeee.” I whine.

He lays a comforting hand on my shoulder and starts rubbing soothing circles. “Trust me, I don’t want to do this either. I would give anything not to have to hurt you again.” The way his words quiver like there is a lump in his throat, sells the line.

He waits a little longer and then lets my shoulder go and brings the needle and thread to the bed-side table.

“C-cold.” I stutter.

“I’ll get you a blanket once this is done.”

Castiel places the same hand on my chest again but this time, he applies a little more pressure. “Don’t move if you can help it, it could cause me to stitch all wonky. I know this isn’t ideal, but we can’t waste any more time. Please forgive me.”

I flinch the first time the needle pricks my pale skin, then still. I stifle my groan which soon turns into a quiet sob as he continues relentlessly. I am barely aware of him muttering hush apologies to me at every groan, cry and beg.

The pain expands though my side with each new stitch, constantly lingering. I try to focus on the ceiling, but it doesn’t distract much, since there is no way to not feel the movement of the needle. God I hate needles.

"Stop tensing the area I'm trying to stitch." Cas orders and clamps his hand down a little more.

“Yeah, well if you, AAGH.” He hits the spot which is the deepest and it causes me to jump.

“I told you to stop moving!”

I nod and clench my hands until the knuckles are white, to stop myself from wriggling.

“You know,” He starts his next stitch and pinches the skin together, ignoring my wince. “You are quite remarkable; a thousand others would’ve passed out long before this step.” He threads it through and ties it.

My skin is so tight around the wound, and it feels like a white-hot sting that won’t go away.

“Holy Shit!” I swear, as a sudden burning rushes through the wound. He puts the alcohol on the table and gives be an apologetic smile. "You could have warned for that."

He shrugs. "Sam says it’s better without a warning."

I whimper as he places a large bandage over the top and starts clearing everything away.

“It’s done for the time being.” He comforts, and lightly kisses me on the forehead. “You can sleep now.”

I feel my head finally lull to the side and I allow myself to drift off.

When I open my eyes, my head throbs and the world spins. I see Cas and for an instant my mind takes me right back to when he was a monster, and I bolt up.

He rushes to my side and to pushes me down with his angel strength.

“Hey, hey, it’s just me. Slow down.”

I relax in his arms once I realise.

“There.” He soothes, shifting so that I am lying flat, but his voice soon turns serious. “Stunts like that could tear your stitches.” He peels the bandage back and takes a look. “But thankfully it hasn’t.”

He pulls the blanket back over me and carefully holds a glass of water to my lips. “Slow.” He says and tilts it a little.

I hadn’t realised how thirsty I was and start to lap it up. He pulls away and I chase after it, but he continues to hold my clamp down on my shoulder with one hand.

“Slow.” He repeats and brings the cup back. I do what as he says until it's gone.

I wiggle my feet enough to find that he must have taken the restraints off while I was out.

He takes a seat next to the bed and squeezes my hand. It's so warm.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I've been stabbed.”

Cas smiles. “How do you really feel?”

I sigh. “Tired, everything hurts.”

“I’d assume that’s normal considering what you’ve been through.” He tilts his head towards my ribs. “When you're ready, I need to take a look, okay?”

I swallow thickly. “Okay.” I chastise myself at how the words break in my throat, I know he's only trying to help.

A shudder escapes my lips as Cas’s warm fingers skim over my ribs. I hold back a choked cry as he presses into them, testing the bones. By the time he finishes, I am as far away from him as the bed allows.

“A couple are broken; I'll go get you an icepack.”

When he re-enters and positions the icepack over my sides, his face has saddened like he isn’t telling me something.

“What is it?” I ask.

He doesn’t hold back. “There’s been a slight delay with Sam and Dean, they won’t be here for a few more days. We are in a small cabin out in the woods, it's not safe here. The vampire's that did this to you could be back with the rest of the nest.”

“Oh.” I manage to say.

He wipes a finger over my face to stop the tears. “We need to leave but we can’t do that with the condition you're in now. And I can’t heal you because they used a blade warded against angels.”

“So, what do we do?” I take his hand and intertwine our fingers.

“You know I don’t want to put you in more pain than I have to.” I can feel him shaking now; he's scared.

“Cas.” My tone is slightly louder than I wanted.

There's a pause. He readjusts his trench coat like its uncomfortable. “There may be a healing spell that could help but I'm told that the procedure will be...... unpleasant, to say the least.”

His whole face screams regret but I surprise him with my answer. “Do it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah..... I trust you.”

“Okay.” Cas says, more to himself than me. He places the neon purple potion on the table and undoes his belt. “Open,” he commands, “It should help with the pain.”

I reluctantly take in the leather and bite down.

“I have to restrain you now. If you mess with the potion even a little, it could prove faulty and there is no way in hell, I'm putting you through this twice.”

I give a slight nod and he starts tying my limbs with rope. I get more scared by the second, I can already hear the rhythmic beat of my heart. This time he also adds some rope over my thighs and chest so I can move even less than before.

Once he’s finished, he fetches the potion and hovers over me.

“If you have somewhere you find soothing, go there in your mind.”

Then he begins, first removing the bandage to expose the wound then pours it in.

A blazing burst of pain explodes through my body, everything feels like it's on fire. Then his hands are on me, rubbing it as deep into the wound as possible while I strain and fight to get away from the hands that are hurting me. He manages to shove it through the gaps in the stitches so it can travel deeper. I scream and cry around the belt, every muscle tensed so much that it cramps. I can feel as every rib welds itself together and every cell in the wound presses until it's all combined.

When all the pain finally simmers, relief washes over me. Cas whispers comforting words and praise as he undoes the restraints and pulls me into a hug. I am too weak to resist the movement, but I don’t want to, its sweet and warm. He saved me.

“You did so well,” He soothes. “I am so proud of you. Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I answer simply, “I am now, and I forgive you.”

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radley-writes · 1 year ago

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hiya! just wondering if u can talk a bit about your process of drafting -> beta reading etc? I'm almost ready to have people read my draft (revised from cp feedback) and idk where to start or what the best process might be! thanks in advance

First off: congrats on having a completed manuscript. It sounds like you're off to a good start, having received cp feedback!

Of course, every writer will have a different method of prepping for a Beta round. I hope this is useful, and gives you some ideas for how to proceed.

Once I have a solid manuscript that's ready for readers, my next step is to ask myself a couple of questions...

What's your deadline?

I like to establish this before I start. I usually do quite long Beta rounds, around four/five months a pop - though some people prefer to work under pressure and might prefer an 8 week Beta round!

You need to pick a realistic date and stick to it. I wouldn't go any shorter than 4 weeks for a 70K novel - and personally, I think that is too tight.

What platform will you use to share your draft?

I use Googledocs just for convenience. But given The Current Nonsense (AI training) you might be more comfortable picking a different method.

I then split my doc into manageable chunks - typically 10K ish each, one part on each doc.

What do you want from your Betas while they read?

I usually make several forms, one for each part, that ask very basic questions - I've found that people respond best to this, plus a few prompts. So, 'what do you like about the story so far? (characters, style, worldbuilding, plot, pacing, etc.)' and 'what could be improved on? (any parts you felt didn't quite 'work'? Go into as much or as little detail as you like!)'

But you can ask specific questions about certain plot points you're unsure about, or whatever else you like!

I then link each 'part' of my novel to the next part and the corresponding form.

How do you want to communicate with your Betas?

I use Discord, because it's easy to set up a simple little server for Betas to join! This server is typically comprised of a few rooms for people to chat about their own projects/my manuscript, plus a couple of fun rooms full of pet pictures and memes - it's mostly just a way to socialise and get to know your Betas a bit better.

Which you should do! The friends I've made from Beta rounds have been with me for years! You'll meet amazing people, and I'd encourage you to show their projects the same enthusiasm that they have for yours!

Then we're onto selecting the Betas themselves.

What do you want to know about your Betas?

I give the Betas one chapter to read, linked to an application form. I want to know their preferred name/pronouns, a vague idea of their age (so: <18 or >18 - for YA projects I like having a mix of adults and kids as my Betas, and for Adult projects I prefer not to have kids). I also want to know their Discord handle and a confirmation that they can read and comment on the whole manuscript before the deadline.

Then I put in a free box for them to write their feedback on the first chapter.

I also list all the content warnings for my manuscript that I can think of, and ask them to confirm that they are okay with reading this novel.

Which Betas do you want?

You've had a dozen replies - so, it's time to select Betas!

How do you pick? How many should you choose? I've discovered through trial and error that I, personally, cannot handle a large Beta round. It's too much stress! Some people have 20+ Betas on every book, but I perish at the thought - so my rounds tend to be pretty exclusive, between 5-10 Betas. I usually aim to have 5, but inevitably add an extra or ...several, just because people are lovely!

I usually choose one or two 'cheerleaders' who give loads of compliments, because I'm a baby who needs ego boosts. Then I choose the rest based on who gives the most insightful critique!

You interpretation of 'insightful critique' will vary. I like critique that is clear and honest, even if that means saying 'I don't know what is wrong here, but something about this section made me lose interest'. I like people who try to suggest what might be wrong, and ways to fix it - but I wouldn't pick anyone who was obviously basing all their assumptions off of Tumblr Writing Advice For What Makes A Good Novel.

Or what they want their own novel to be.

Of course, writers can be incredibly awesome Betas - I've got a squad who I trust with my manuscripts, my life, and my entire ass. But writing and editorial reading are different skills. Some folks are good writers, but aren't good commentators. Their crit will basically be them trying to turn your story into theirs. You get a feel for this sort of critique after a while, and it'll set off red flags!

I also tend not to pick people who don't vibe with anything about the 'style' or 'voice' of the first chapter - those are big factors that affect the whole novel and aren't going to change. They'd be the sort of people who would put my book down after the first page, so they're not really my audience!

Once you've made your selection, you just have to whoosh out Discord invites, give your Betas access to the first part of the manuscript (with links to the next part and the relevant questionnaire embedded) and away you go.

I hope this helps! May your Beta-round journey go smoothly! Again, all advice is built entirely from my own preferences and experiences - if anyone else likes to do things in a completely different and radical way, please let me know! I'd love some new ideas of how to run a Beta round! :D

#writing advice #publishing #writeblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #beta rounds #beta reading

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drea-exclusives · 11 months ago

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Week 1 — New Beginnings 🌟

The start of a new semester. The lead-up to this week was a bit anxiety-inducing honestly, since last semester didn't go that great and left me a tad bit nervous for what was to come. But now that I've reached the end of the first week, it's safe to say that it went quite a lot better than I had anticipated!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Monday started off with a little get-together for brunch to celebrate Hieu's (Hilton) birthday! We were able to meet up with our beloved foundation friends, including 1 of them whom we hadn't seen often since August as she had taken a break after foundation before continuing with her degree this semester. Although Hieu and I only had class at 3 pm, we decided to have brunch to accommodate the rest of our friends who had both morning and afternoon classes, leaving us a bit over 2 hours to catch up over some good food.

Our brunch place of choice was a cafe located super close-by to uni called "Signature Cafe". We ordered a variety of breakfast foods to share and devoured them while chit-chatting on what we've been up to as of late, as well as the new semester. My heart feels full every time I get the opportunity to see them as it's difficult meeting up when you have different schedules; that is something uni life has definitely taught me, that you will go out of your way to make plans in order to meet the people dearest to you. And when that effort is mutual, that is surely a friendship worth investing in.

Later in the day, we had our first class of the semester in the auditorium. I was already semi-dreading the class before it had started, not because of the course or lecturer particularly, but because it was in Auditorium B, aka the auditorium with wooden seats that would leave us aching all over after a 3 hour lecture. In the end, we managed to make it through the class, with breaks between the lecture and snacks from the vendors of course. Not bad for a Monday, if I do say so myself.

Tuesday, on the other hand, was more chaotic. For context, I usually take the MRT to uni for less hassle, but I decided that I was going to drive on Tuesdays as I only had a 2 hour lecture and it wasn't worth the time commuting by train rather than if I were to drive, simply put. However, in an attempt to make it to class on time, I tried to find a parking spot as quickly as possible and ended up misjudging the length of my car in comparison to the parking lot. After barely squeezing my way in, I realised (way too late) that I was neither able to squeeze all the way in OR out as there were only a few centimeters of space between the cars in front and behind of me.

While I sat there in defeat and embarrassment for what felt like forever as the car that was behind me witnessing the entire scenario was finally able to safely drive past me, another car pulled up behind me. To my surprise, the driver winded down his window to tell me that there was an empty parking lot on the other side. In that moment I felt so grateful, not so much because he was kind enough to inform me about a vacant parking spot (although I appreciated it), but because he didn't harass me or embarrass me further for my parking skills.

The rest of the day was not doomed, however, as I attended Ms Ashley's first Creative Writing class after parking in a better spot. It was the first time in a while that I felt this interested towards a course in uni, in addition to feeling re-ignition towards my passion for writing. Although nerve-wracking doing creative writing again and I'm doubting my writing abilities a bit, I hope that I'll feel more comfortable soon to write with no pressure, just as how I feel writing this journal entry right now.

On Wednesday, I decided to go to the mall with my friend after class as I only had a morning class. My intention of going to the mall this time was purely to do some shopping as I really needed new clothes since a big portion of my wardrobe was worn-out. I had a simple but satisfying brunch in the food court with my friend, Mirha while we spent time catching up. While passing by a store, there was a promotion for 2 perfumes at the price of RM80. Although I wasn't intending to purchase perfume on that day itself, my RM40 was spent just like that as we each chose a perfume we liked. I had also bought a long-overdue jacket from Uniqlo, which albeit pricey but was of good quality. I left the mall that day tired and with my bank account crying a little, but fulfilled.

Thursday was a small surprise as I had completely forgotten it was Thaipusam holiday until my mum reminded me the night before. I spent the day unwinding and relaxing, as well as re-discovering an old hobby. While spring cleaning, my mum found my old rainbow loom kit which was in surprisingly good condition after 10 years. As I decided I would make use of them by doing some simple designs, it led to me hyperfixating on this old hobby once again, reminding me how much I used to love it and seeing glimpses of my pre-teen self. It is moments like these where I wonder where all the time went. 10 years had passed and in the blink of an eye, I am the age my younger self had always dreamed of being. Yet I am thankful for moments like these which allow me to heal my inner child; I think it is something a lot of people take for granted.

As for the rest of the week, it was pretty uneventful. My Friday was spent having an online class and visiting my grandma with my mum. There was a new caregiver today to help out my grandma as she hasn't been in great condition lately. But seeing that she didn't reject the caregiver's help and shoo her out of the room as she usually does, but instead praised her and spoke of how helpful she was, it was a sigh of relief for my mum and I. It's been a long month as it was the start of the year when my grandma's health deteriorated a lot, but I hope and pray that only good things are ahead of us.

Majority of my weekend, or rather Sunday night was spent writing the short story I was tasked to write. I had honestly dreaded it and left it to the last minute as I was completely clueless of where to even start. As the night went on, I felt defeated while struggling to put something together and decided to just go with the idea I had. After all, this was just the start and a short activity; there would be more chances for me to improve my writing as the course progressed. With that in mind, I ended the short story writing session as positively as I could, glad that I was at least done with the activity. (Side note: I wish I was using my brain when I picked books on culture and movie psychology.)

Week in Summary

This week I felt was a good combination of highs and lows, some of which I didn't include as they felt too personal. Starting or beginning something has always been difficult for me, it's so hard to leave the comfort zone which you've grown accustomed to and step into dangerous, unknown territory. However, I'm learning to embrace change as I had the realisation that this is what it's going to be for the rest of my life — constant change and unpredictability. And to move forward, I'm going to have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Having said that, I'm glad to have the support system I currently have of friends and family members; the people who I know will be there despite the changes in life or disagreements we may have. It's been a hopeful start to the semester, and I hope it remains that way.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Song of the Week! This is a fun, little segment that I thought would be interesting to include in my journal entries! But it might not be something I'll continue to do because 1, I hyperfixate on songs and listen to them on repeat for weeks until I get tired of them and 2, if I'm being completely honest my music taste is essentially just basic teenage girl music. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just that this segment would be a lot more interesting from the POV of someone who listened to more music genres. But hey, it's authentically me and that's the whole point of the journal, so we'll see! This week's song is an OST from a K-drama I re-watched recently called "Lovestruck in the City". The first time I listened to it I had it on repeat for weeks after I had finished the drama and was down with post-drama withdrawal syndrome. And now, as expected the song has once again crept its way back into my Spotify playlists becoming my go-to song because it's simply that good. I have no doubts that it'll be at the top of my list for song choices for awhile.

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daisynik7 · 1 year ago

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hello daisy my love!!! <3

i just read your recent post and i’m sorry to hear about your turbulent work space and the pressure that’s taken a toll on your health. i’m happy that you’re able to take a stand for yourself and prioritize you by taking what seems like a very necessary break, i swear it’s like you've been posting daily with in-depth writing for your y2k milestone event and nanami thirsts (which you will never hear me complaining🫡) but this should never overwhelm you or add to life pressures that you may already have.

by the time you return, my hope is to receive an update that the biggest stressor at work, whoever or whatever it is, has resolved itself, your mental & physical health is ticking upwards, and that mercury is or isn’t in retrograde… no idea what that means oops🫠

take as long as you need to feel like you again. if the weather is starting to get colder wherever you are, keep yourself warm and bundled even if cold weather is something you thrive off of, runny noses and sore throats are not fun:/

i see you find soup enjoyable, so eat lots of it!!!! soup is a year-round food, but i think is especially a fall/ winter food, with bread that nanami baked fresh.

when you have time off from work, treat yourself to something nice, even if it is something simple. the vote is unanimous and it is something you definitely deserve. if you disagree you’re wrong, i will not be accepting any counter-arguments to that statement 🥰

whenever you read this, i hope the rest of your week is less draining, that your weekend is well spent, sleeping in or doing whatever brings you joy, and that your break is refreshing and restoring to whatever parts of yourself that have been chipped away at for too long. and also wishing you a very cozy, spooky, but not too spooky October 🧡

sending you lots of love, hugs and a very tender kiss to your forehead that kind of lingers and radiates warmth all over your body from dadd- *coughs* i mean nanami 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 lol i'm sounding especially delulu today, forgive me i think it's the weather.

don't feel pressured to reply to this prolonged chaos, just enjoy your break

( ＾◡＾)っ ♡

thea, I can't even put into words properly how much I cherish this and cherish YOU. this is seriously the sweetest message I could ever receive, I'm blaming you now for the tears in my eyes. 😭

I'm taking your advice very seriously, I hope you're proud of me! I'm going to continue my little break and hopefully get back to feeling like myself again soon! I'm already feeling better, so I'm getting there. :)

I wish I could better express how much your kindness means to me. Reading this gave me the warmest, coziest feeling, thank you for taking time out of your day to write this. Sending you all my love, hugs, and kisses! I hope that you are also treating yourself to things you enjoy and doing what you can to nurture yourself. You are a pure, kind soul and I hope you have a wonderful rest of October!

#my lovely thea #lovely moots #to keep #I'm treasuring this forever ♥️

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lucienarcheron · 2 years ago

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hi gigi! i hope that this question isn’t overwhelming but i love love love smtb and i think that you’re a great writer i would like to improve my writing/take writing more seriously and i’ve attempted to write fics in the past but i just don’t know where to take a simple idea so i never finish anything…. do you have any advice in planning a fic or writing in general? (e.g. how do i ensure that the dialogue is something the character im writing about would actually say?)

hello darling! first off, thanks so much for loving SMTB and my writing! It means so much and I'm so flattered you're asking me! Here are some of my thoughts :)

I think my biggest piece of advice for getting better at writing is to literally just keep writing. You only get better through practice. Editing my old stuff and looking at it now has been so interesting because I see how I would do it differently now vs then. I wouldn't know that if I hadn't let myself just write. Write whatever it is, even if you think it sucks. Just do it. You can always go back and edit it but you won't have anything to edit if you don't actually write it. Even if it's been done before. Even if you think someone does it better than you. Write it because no one could write it like you can.

I would describe my approach to writing as a "loose" planner lol. I usually have a beginning, a big event, and the ending then figure out everything that I want to happen in between as I go along. I've found that this helps me have something to follow while also allowing room for the characters/story to give me ideas. You can always start with these kinds of questions: what is the point of this piece? Why am I putting this character in this situation? What is the outcome I want? What is the tone that I'm trying to convey?

If it's easier, start with short prompts and drabbles to get you in the groove of your writing style before you move on to bigger one-shots or multi-chapters. If you feel like follow-through is something you struggle with, focus on shorter pieces so you can build up to stories you can follow through on.

As for dialogue and feeling like the way you write the character is true to how they would sound in canon, I always recommend rereading the scenes they're in. You can ask yourself, what do I know about this character? Based on what they've been through and how their dynamic is with others in the book, would they say this? Remember that fanfiction is also meant to be fun so you can strive away from canon. I personally always try to write characters the way I think they would actually be in canon and prefer to read fanfics that do the same but again, with how creative fanfiction allows people to be, you can find literally a n y t h i n g. It's pretty cool to see how people can interpret characters differently (unless it's something weird then I don't like it lmao). But don't stress yourself out too much about that. The important thing is a) write b) have fun and c) don't be so hard on yourself. Putting pressure on yourself makes it less fun lol.

I hope this helps somewhat! 😅♥️

#writing asks #asks;

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thebibliosphere · 3 years ago

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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After.

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting.

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom.

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man.

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms...

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful.

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual.

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

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hyunsuks-beanie · 3 years ago

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Never Let You Go

Heeseung x reader; nothing but pure angst

Warnings: Mentions of depression; cheating; suicidal thoughts

Word Count ~4.7k words

Mellow speaks: So even though my Tumblr is acting up, I'm gonna try and post this one, because I'm simply too excited for it! A massive thank you to the lovely anon who requested it, it was a great writing challenge. I've kinda based Y/N off myself, so I hope you like the character hehe. Happy reading!

"Hey baby! How was your-?" "Just leave me alone Y/N, I'm tired."

Sighing, you plop down on the couch, watching your boyfriend's figure retreat towards your shared bedroom. Heeseung had been working his ass off at the office recently, preparing for the comeback. Being the member of a global group brought along with it a hell lot of pressure, and he was doing his best to live up to the expectations that his fans had. Late nights at the practice room and being locked up for hours in the recording room had become a regular occurence, and you tried to be nothing but supportive and understanding of his efforts. You always tried to watch out for him, reminding him to take his meals and rest, and asking him about his day.

But lately, you have started feeling as if your concerns were falling on deaf ears. Not once has Heeseung acknowledged how much you look after him. Not once has he said a simple "thank you," or expressed his gratitude. At first, you tried to shrug it off as him simply being too preoccupied, but now, the uneaten food was and messages left on read were starting to make you feel as if he didn't really care about how much you worried about him. Lately, you have often found yourself questioning if putting so much effort is worth it anymore, when the other person doesn't even notice. Truth be told, you haven't been in the best place yourself, the pressures of work getting to you. It doesn't help that you have always been the type of person to worry about the smallest of things, and treat others' concerns as your own. All of this, combined with your growing worries and hurt over Heeseung's recent behavior, have begun to creep up on you, those imaginary voices making you overthink and taking a toll on your mind. Little by little, your smile has been faltering, and what's hurting you is that no one, not even your own boyfriend, has taken notice.

You have always been the type of person to try and hide your true feelings, for fear of coming across as annoying. And that is just what you are doing even now. Putting on a facade to not worry the love of your life. However, Heeseung had always been great at seeing through your facade, always knowing when you were hurting. But now, it seems like the man who shares the house with you doesn't even spare you so much as a glance, else why wouldn't he have noticed that you were falling apart, bit by bit?

Your train of thought is cut short as Heeseung comes out of the room, having changed into his sweats. Giving him a smile, you try to say something, but he doesn't even look up from his phone as he sits down at the dining table. "Tiring day?," you ask timidly, only to get a mere nod as a reply as he puts his phone down, taking the food out of the casserole. "My mentor praised me today-," you begin, only to be cut off by him yet again. "Big deal Y/N. Look, I'm not in the mood right now, so can we please talk later?" The small smile on your lips gives way to an expression that clearly betrays how hurt you are, yet Heeseung doesn't even bat an eyelid, continuing to eat in silence. You don't dare to speak throughout the rest of dinner, and only when he gets up from his chair and enters the kitchen, do you mutter under your breath, "It was kind of a big deal though," thinking back on how you had been working late into the night, sleep-depriving yourself, for the past few days, all to deliver a presentation to an important client.

As Heeseung walks back to the bedroom, you can't help but finally let the tears that have been welling up in your eyes, out. You cry silently, wanting nothing more then for someone to see that you are breaking down, and to help fix you up. Your boyfriend had always been there for you whenever you yourself doubting your abilities. But for the first time in a while, you found your self completely alone, with even the person who had always promised to be by your side, seeming so far away that he was almost unreachable. By now, your tears are flowing freely, leaving stains down your cheeks. But Heeseung doesn't come out the bedroom upon hearing your sobs. He doesn't come through to you, sleeping soundly as you find yourself falling.

The next morning, Heeseung wakes up to find your side of the bed cold and empty, and walking out the room, he finds you asleep on the couch, having cried yourself to sleep. He feels a pang of guilt wash over him, assuming that it was his cold attitude the previous night that made you shed tears, not knowing what you are going through. He reaches his hand out to wake you up, but he stops as his phone vibrates, indicating a message from Jay, telling him to come over to the practice room as soon as he can. Pursing his lips, he walks back into the bedroom, getting ready as quietly as possible to not wake you up. Leaving the house, he sends a message to your phone, informing you that he'd be home earlier than usual tonight, and will make it up to you for hurting you last night. As he exits your apartment, the door closes behind him, waking you up.

Running the sleep from your eyes, you check your phone, smiling upon seeing the message from Heeseung. Those few words give you some hope. Hope that you finally have your Hee back, that he won't push you away again. That morning, you start your day with the biggest smile you have worn in days. But your happiness doesn't last long, as you get into an unnecessary fight with your coworker-slash-best friend, over something trivial. Hurtful words are said in the heat of the moment, and while you know you are equally guilty, your friend's words still sting, your fragile emotions getting the best of you. Coming back home, you finally let yourself go, falling to the floor in tears, as those voices come rushing back to torture you. There is nothing you want more than to curl up in Heeseung's arms and have him tell you it would be fine, and for once, you decide to not suppress your feelings, and instead tell him about it. Wiping your face with yoru sleeve, you dial his number, waiting for him to pick up, but he never does.

Him not answering your calls has become a regular occurrence these days, but you had thought he wouldn't ignore you today at least, when it had been him who had said he'd make it up to you for hurting you yesterday. The voices in your head taunt you, telling you that he doesn't love you anymore, that he finds you annoying. You manage to shake them away somehow, reminding yourself that he had promised you he'll always love you. Deciding against calling him again, you reason that he's probably busy practicing, and hasn't had the time to take your call. You get up from the floor, too tired to do anything, with your head throbbing from all the crying. You trudge up to your room, changing out of your work clothes and looking for something more comfortable to wear. You spot Heeseung's hoodie, and it makes you smile softly. It's your favorite hoodie of his, and he too, loves it whenever you wear it. So you throw it over your body, crawling under the sheets and drifting off to sleep, hoping that by the time you wake up, Heeseung would be here, and your headache would be gone.

But little did you know about the storm that was coming.

You wake up with a start, looking around when you hear the front door slam shut with a bang. "Hee?," you call out, to no reply. You wait a couple minutes, but when your boyfriend doesn't show up, you walk out the room, only to find that Heeseung is in the kitchen, taking a bottle of water out the fridge. "Heeseung?," you call out again, softly this time, but he only grunts in response. Biting your lip, you say, "You're quite late. You must be-" "Yes I know Y/N, I can see the time too," he says, much louder than you had expected, making you flinch. "I-I just meant-," you start again, in vain. "Stop trying to guilt-trip me, will you? I know I had said that I would be home earlier, but my world and plans don't revolve around you, okay?," he is practically yelling at you now, not paying any heed to the tears that are running down your cheeks again. "I have been busy at the office, doing something productive. Unlike you, sleeping around all day. Did you even go to work today?," he sneers at you, every word coming out his mouth feeling like a punch to your gut. "I d-did go," you stutter out, trying to explain what had gone down at your office earlier that day. But he wasn't having any of it, scoffing at your words. "Whatever. And why are enough wearing my hoodie anyway?," he points out, not in the least bit happy about something that used to always make him smile. "S-sorry. I'll change out of it," you meekly say, not finding it in yourself to put up a fight. He doesn't reply, just like you had expected

Walking back to your room, you change out of his hoodie, and put on one of your T-shirts, along with some PJs. You come back out of the room, silently placing the hoodie on the couch, before walking out to the balcony. You stay out there for quite a while, eyes too dry to shed any more tears. The voices, the nasty thoughts, clawing at your mind, making you imagine Heeseung say words he never said. "You are such a loser, Y/N." "No wonder your friend doesn't like you anymore Y/N. You're no good." You try to scream, but no sound comes out your mouth, as you feel yourself drowning, losing your sanity slowly. Suddenly, your head clears, a single thought swirling. "What would it feel like to fly?," you think to yourself, looking down the railing. "No one would care if you died anyway. You're just a pain for everyone," those voices say, and you almost let yourself go.

But something pulls you back. Something makes you see light again, when everything seems dark. That something is a small voice, different from the nasty ones. A voice at the back of your head, telling you that you still matter, that if no one cares about you, you need to care about yourself. And that's when you decide that you would be the one who would fix you back up, piece by piece.

That was the last time you let the voices feed on you, being determined to return to how you used to be. The very next day, you visit a therapist, who helped you realize how special you are, again. You talked to him about everything, your failing confidence, your negative thoughts, your relationship with Heeseung that seemed to be falling apart. He listened to you with patient ears, helping you wade through all your worries and your concerns. It was him who encouraged you to not give up on Heeseung, telling you that he was going through a hard time himself, and that he needed you there for him. You decided to follow his advice, putting up with all of Heeseung's shit even when things got rough and his words rang in your ears, in the form of the voices you had come to hate. And you would be lying if you said it didn't make a difference. Now, at times he was back to the being the smiley, goofy man that you loved, making your heart swell. But at other times, you felt he wasn't your Heeseung anymore, that the stress at work had changed him. But you still hoped that he would come around, hoped that he would see your efforts.

Somewhere along the line, you found yourself again. You started believing in yourself once more, and started smiling more. You were slowly coming back to how you used to be, and you had only your therapist to thank for it. It took time, it took effort, but you were succeeding, one day at a time. They say that your smiles are more easy to notice than you tears, and the same happened with you. He didn't notice it all at once, but over time, Heeseung began to see the shift in your demeanor. He saw how you had started becoming happier than you had been in months, and at first, he was confused. He knew he hadn't been the best boyfriend for the past few months, and while he was thankful for you for putting up with him, he hadn't been great at expressing his gratitude. He felt guilty, but things were just spiraling downward too fast for him, until you picked them back up, saving your relationship instead of leaving him. You were smiling again, and he was happy for you, but that didn't mean it didn't sting that he probably wasn't the reason for your happiness. You hadn't told him about therapy, not wanting to talk about your depression. But one night, coming home, he found the living room empty, with your faint voice coming in from the balcony. "Thank you so much for today," you said, a smile gracing your features. Looking at you, he couldn't help a pang of jealous spread through him.

Who were you talking to? Had you found someone else? Were you gonna leave him? These thoughts threatened to cloud his mind, but he pushed them away, not wanting to jump to conclusions. He was still standing near the balcony door when you hung up the call, you had been talking to your therapist for the past twenty minutes, telling him about your progress for the day. Smiling at your boyfriend, you walk up to him, hugging him softly, not knowing he had heard you talking on the phone. He doesn't say anything, simply hugging you back, before walking up to the room to get changed. When he comes back down, you are already seated at the dining table, waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he decides to take it easy, and not overthink things. So he talks to you about his day, and you listen to him, all ears. He does notice however, that you are no longer putting in an effort to tell him about your day. It had been a conscious effort on your part to avoid delving into details about your mental state, but he didn't know that, and needless to say, he was annoyed, even though it had been him who had refused to hear anything you had to say in the first place.

So for the next couple days, he tries to get you to talk about what is happening in your life, only to have you play down his tactics, too scared of how he'll react. The doubts start creeping back into his mind, seeming more convincing every time he stops to ponder on them.

One day, he wakes up earlier than usual, despite it being an off from work for you, and a rest day from him, only to find the light of your phone come to life as you continue to sleep peacefully beside him. "Who is messaging you this early in the morning?," he thinks to himself, and, unable to control the urge, he grabs your phone, unlocking it easily since he already knew your password. "Why don't you come over later?," the notification reads, indicating a message from someone named Mark. Putting down the phone, he can't help the deep frown that his face sets itself into, a white hot rage swirling inside his mind. As if on cue, you stir in your sleep, waking up to find your boyfriend glaring at you, your phone in his hand. "Heeseung, what?" "You're cheating on me, aren't you?," he growls, looking at you. "What? Why would you-?," you start, unable to understand what he's saying. "Who's Mark? And why is calling over to meet him? You're cheating on me!," he yells, anger in his eyes. "Hee, please. Listen to me," you whisper, scared of the way he's acting. "There is nothing to listen, Y/N! You're a pathetic, desperate, whore. That's exactly what you are, and I heard you talking to him the other day, thanking him." You finally snap, unable to take the gross allegations he makes against you.

"You just crossed the line, Lee Heeseung. We're done," is all you say, getting off the bed and throwing a coat over you PJs, before storming out the room. He follows you, saying, "That we for sure are, you cheating bitch. Go on, go to your precious Mark." Putting on your shoes, you whip around, eyes welling up. "That's Dr. Mark for you, jerk." And with that, you run out of the house, the door slamming shut behind you. Once he is alone, Heeseung thinks back to what you just said. "Dr. Mark? So he's a doctor, huh? Maybe an idol was too boring to date," he mutters under his breath, still seething. The anger soon gives way to sadness, and with the sadness, come tears. Rushing back into the bedroom, he throws himself onto the bed, crying into the pillow as he thinks about you. "Was it my fault? Did you get tired of me because I was a shitty boyfriend? But you didn't have to cheat on me, you could have dumped me if you didn't love me anymore," he says to himself, anger rising once again. He picks up your phone, tossing it to the side in annoyance.

His eyes land on a photo on the nightstand, the both of you looking lovesick as you gaze into each other's eyes. Unable to control the anger bubbling inside him, he takes hold of the photo, smashing it to the floor, before collapsing back down among the sheets, tears overpowering him yet again. What seems like hours later, he hears his ringtone, and thinking it's his phone ringing, he looks up from between the pillows, only to realize that it's actually your phone that's ringing. The both of you had put the same song, both of your favorite, as your ringtone, but now, Heeseung fears he'll never like that song again. He ends up ignoring the call, going back to crying. Soon enough, your phone rings again, making him lift his head up to check the caller ID. "Mark," it reads, and it takes everything in him not to smash the phone to the floor too. He doesn't pick up this time either, causing your phone to ring a third time. "Quite the persistent one, isn't he?," Heeseung mutters, deciding to finally take the call. "Y/N isn't here," he says into the phone, making the person on the other end, presumably Mark, say, "That's odd. Y/N always keeps her appointments with me," a frown obvious in his voice. "Appointment?," Heeseung thinks to himself, scrunching his eyebrows together. He opens his mouth to speak, but presumably Mark beats him to it, saying something that makes a chill creep up his spine "Oh I'm so sorry. You must be Heeseung, right? I'm Dr. Mark Kim, Y/N's therapist. I didn't know Y/N had finally decided to tell you about our sessions."

"S-sessions?," Heeseung asks, already dreading the answer. "Yes, I've been helping Y/N deal with depression, and I must say, you're really lucky to have such a strong person in your life, who chose to give your relationship another chance despite the hardships, and despite going through so much alone," Mark says, a smile evident in his voice. Heeseung tires to speak, but can't seem to find his voice. He can't wrap his head around what a blunder he has committed. He had promised you that he would always be there for you whenever the going got tough, but he ended up failing you when you needed him the most. He doesn't notice as the phone slips out of his hand, his mind too preoccupied with the guilt taking over him. You had needed him, but he shut you off. And yet, you had decided to give him another chance, only to have him fail you yet again.

In a moment of clarity, Heeseung makes up his mind. He needs to find you, and he needs to make it up to you for real. He was more worried about the second task than about the first, because he knew you, and he knew just where he would find you. Getting off the bed, he doesn't waste a single second getting ready, rushing out the door less than five minutes later. He knows you must not have gone far, without your purse or your phone, and so, getting in the car, the destination is clear in his mind. A secluded spot near Han River, where the two of you have gone on one too many dates, away from the prying eyes of the world. As soon as he reaches Han River, he practically jumps out of his car, jogging to your spot, hidden behind the trees. And sure enough, there you are, still bawling your eyes out. A fresh wave of guilt washes over him, as he takes in your state. He doesn't know how to approach, and so he just stands there, contemplating what to do. Finally, he calls out, his voice barely above a whisper. "Y/N?," he says, his heart breaking as he sees your form flinch at the sound of his voice. You turn towards him, your eyes bloodshot from the ever-flowing tears.

"Baby-," Heeseung says, his voice cracking. "Leave me alone, Heeseung," you say through tears, and for the first time, he realizes just how hurt you must have felt, every time he had directed those same words at you. Shaking his head, he reaches out, crouching in front of you as you sit on the ground. "Please, baby. Just give me a chance. Please just let me make it up to you." "Make it up to me?," you raise your voice, "You were supposed to make it up to me ages ago, Heeseung. I can't do this anymore. I've been there for you every time you've needed me the past few months, but you've done nothing but hurt me, making me feel worthless and annoying. Do you have any idea how much your words have hurt me? You had promised me that you would always understand, without me having to say anything." By this time, you're crying hysterically, and Heeseung is no better, tears streaming down his face as he tries to reach his hand put to hug you, only to have you push him away. "But you didn't. You didn't understand that I was slowly falling apart. You didn't understand that I needed your help. Remember that day when I told you I had a fight with my best friend? Remember how rude you were to me that day? That night, I almost jumped off the balcony," you cry out, and his heart breaks into a million pieces. He can't help pulling you in for a hug, his strong arms holding you in place even as you try to fight it, crying into his chest. "But I didn't, and instead, I decided to go to therapy to help myself. Dr. Mark has been helping me recover from my depression, he is the sole reason I haven't given up you on. He was the one who told me that love and patience were the key, and that you would come around." You finally manage to pull away from him, looking right into his eyes.

"But I guess he was wrong. You've been taking me for granted, and you accused me of something so pathetic. How could you, Heeseung? How could you think that I could love someone else, when even after you hurt me so bad, my heart still loves you?," you finally run out of words, you tear-filled eyes looking up at him sadly. Heeseung takes the chance to cup your face, the pads of his thumbs wiping the tears that are running down your face. To his relief, you don't shove his hands away, instead choosing to look down at your lap. "Now can I speak?," he asks timidly, and when you don't reply, he launches into a rant of his own. "I'm so sorry, love. I have been the shittiest boyfriend to you, and you have still been taking all my stupidity. You could have left me ages ago, but you chose to stick around, even though I treated you like trash. You have been nothing but supportive and loving to me, even when I hurt you so bad. Now that I know how I almost pushed you to kill yourself, I don't know how I'm gonna live with myself. I don't deserve you, and you have every right to walk away. But just know that I still love you the same, and even though it's selfish of me, I can't help but ask you to give me another chance. I hurt the person I love the most, and I swear, if you give me a chance, I'll do everything I can to make things right. I'll be there for you at every step, just like you have been there for me. I know you're in a messy place right now, but I swear, I'll be there to help you every step of the way," he says, his voice heavy with emotion.

"I don't know Heeseung. I don't know if I can trust you again," you say after a long pause, heart almost breaking as you see his crestfallen expression. "I-I understand," he says, choking back tears. "I'll always love you, Y/N. Sorry for hurting you, and goodbye." He gets up, bending down to place a soft kiss on your forehead, before leaving you alone as he walks back to his car, crying hysterically at having lost what he loved most."

Left alone, you find the voice of reason at the back of your head speaking to you once again. "You know he still loves you, and you know you still love him too. All people make mistakes, but that doesn't mean you stop believing." You knew you couldn't possibly have ended things with Heeseung, he was your endgame. You loved him way too much, but you just needed to be sure. You knew you needed him in your life, just as much as he needed you in yours.

Having reached home, this time it is Heeseung who collapses to the floor in a crying mess, his heart heavy with the mistake he had made. He spent what felt like hours, bawling his eyes out and cursing at himself for letting you go. Suddenly, the door bell rings, making him lift his head up. He contemplates whether or not to open the door, not really in the mood to see anyone. But when the bell rings again, he decides to open it after all. So he gets up, swinging the door open without checking through the peephole. His jaw nearly falls to to the floor as he sees you there, smiling softly at him, your eyes swollen and your hair disheveled, still the most beautiful person in his eyes. No sooner have you said, "Hi Heeseung," than he pulls you into his arms, smashing his lips to yours.

Right at that moment, he silently promises himself, "I'll never let you go."

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tamcitrus · 4 years ago

Text

vacation night

pairing: Benimaru Shinmon x f!reader

genre: nsfw (i really tried giving it a background, i really did)

warnings: spit play, spanking, slight dom/sub, breath play?, little degradation

words: 2.7 k

summary: working as a fire force officer you inevitably met and worked with the Seventh Company’s Captain and you grew a soft spot for him, so you went to visit him on your “vacations”

tam’s notes: it’s finally here, my first Fire Force fic. I knew as soon as I saw this man that I had to write for him. I hope my fellow Benimaru lovers enjoy reading this as much as I did while writing it.

tags: @writeiolite , @shinsotired , @loneveenas , @vventure

"Ugh, you here again?" Benimaru walked past you and his friend, with the twins behind him. "I'm not interested in what you have to say, so please leave."

He was already in the next room when he finished talking.

"I'm sorry, he's… stubborn," Konro explained.

"Oh, don't worry, Konro-san. I can assure you I'm even more stubborn," you laughed. "Do you know a nice place where I can stay the night? I won't bother him now, I don't want to ruin your dinner."

"We have extra rooms, you can stay here if you like."

"Thanks. I'll take a look around the city and I'll be back," you smiled at the gentle man that made you company until now.

You walked around the city, bought some candies and went to sit by the river under the moonlight. A few minutes later you heard steps behind you and a big arm brushed yours when a person sat by your side.

"Why are you still here? Didn't I make myself clear?" Benimaru couldn't understand what it was about you that made him nervous.

"I'm not here for official business," you explained.

You were sitting on a bench facing the river and the man by your side had his back facing the river. You couldn't quite see the other's face but it wasn't necessary.

"I might apply for a new company," you whispered.

"We don't take people outside Asakusa," he anticipated.

"You don't."

"I'm not in charge."

"I'll ask Konro-san then."

"Tsk," he clicked his tongue and sighed. "Why―?"

"I like Asakusa. I'd like to be away from the Holy Sol Temple for a while…"

"Take some vacations," he said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

You burst out in laughter. You couldn't believe a man this powerful could be so dense sometimes.

"I'm not making myself clear, I see. I'm here for you.”

He sighed. He had his suspicions and he was right.

“I don’t have time for this,” he answered.

You stayed silent. You had your suspicions too. Benimaru Shinmon didn’t look like a man interested in a relationship or any kind of romance. He had his job and his kingdom. And he was satisfied with it.

“Try not to wake up anyone when you come back to the headquarters,” he said as he walked away.

You smiled at him and observed his shadow disappear in the night. It was ok, you weren't hurt. It was just a simple crush on him, not like he was the love of your life or something. He could be but whatever.

You waited a few long minutes to stand up and walk back to the Seventh Company headquarter. Konro left a note with the room he had prepared for you and a little map to not get lost or get into someone else’s room, all of them marked with an X. You walked there and stared at the ceiling for another long period of time. You weren’t getting any sleep that night, you just knew, so you decided to leave. But you couldn’t leave without any notice so you wrote a note for Benimaru and walked to his door ―which Konro kindly pointed in the map with a different mark― to leave it there.

Once there, the curiosity bit you. You couldn’t hear anything, not even the slightest sign of his breathing, so you slowly opened the door to get inside and deliver your note.

It all happened so fast. You barely saw a flash of fire and then a hand in your throat had you pinned against the wall, without making a sound.

“Easy there, destruction king,” you said. He had your throat in one hand and your hand with the note in the other. “It's just me.”

“I could’ve killed you. What the fuck―?”

“Just wanted to leave a note before going my way,” you interrupted, as calm as you could with him all over you. “I didn’t think you would be so territorial.”

“Do you know how many people have tried something against me? Sneaking here and shit?”

“Pretty sure after a few tries they learned their lesson,” you joked.

“Are you leaving?” he asked without letting go even a little bit.

“I had a nice stay here today but I have to go,” you shrugged.

“What are you even wearing? In the middle of the night are you gonna walk out like this? Without a uniform?”

“A dress. Civilian clothes, Beni, I'm on vacation, remember? You should try it sometime,” you said, the pressure on your neck a bit lighter. “You’d look good without―”

Without your uniform, that's what you wanted to say. His mouth was over yours before you could mock him one more time. You made him come closer to you with your leg around his waist. He let go your arm and neck to grab your legs, you held to his shoulders to jump and cling to him. His torso had you against the wall as his hands explored your thighs.

You didn’t waste a second thinking about how he rejected you a few hours ago. You couldn't focus on anything else but his hands and his tongue, that wet muscle that was now tracing the veins from your neck to your shoulder. You moaned as his big hands grabbed your ass as hard as he could. He walked to his bed and let you fall there, as if you weighed nothing. You gasped when you felt your body hit his mattress. He was taking off his clothes without getting his eyes off of you for a second. It was almost like a lion stalking his prey before jumping to its neck to end the job.

“You’re big under all those oversized clothes,” you commented.

“You talk a lot,” he said.

“Want me to use my mouth for something else besides talking?” you smiled, you put up the most innocent smile that you could in that situation.

He sighed and rolled your dress up to your waist to position himself between your legs. You rolled your eyes at him even when he couldn’t see you. He bit your inner thigh and you closed your legs on pure instinct. You tried to, at least, but Benimaru’s hands held your legs at a safe distance from his head as he kept going up your skin and finally got to the point. He kissed your clothed clit and his mouth went up to your pelvis and belly until he met your dress again. He clicked his tongue and stood up to take your dress in his hands and ripped it apart, like it was a buttoned shirt.

You opened your mouth to complain but all you left out was a moan when you felt Benimaru’s mouth over your nipple. You tangled your hands in his hair and you were surprised by how soft it was. You threw your arm down between your bodies and took his erection on your hand to jack him off. He was… huge. Just like everything else on him, he was big and intimidating. His broad shoulders and chest, his big hands that could easily cover your whole face in one touch, he was just so powerful and big.

“What’s wrong?” he said and stopped to look at you. His different eyes looked at you through long locks of hair and even in the dark you could see a little blush on his face.

“Nothing,” you cleared your throat and moved your hand again before spacing out in your thoughts again.

Why get lost in a thought if you had the original one all over your body and kissing you in that same moment? You pulled his hair to hear him make some noise one more time, just in case you were dreaming. He growled when you moved your hips up and grinded your wet underwear against his bare dick.

“Just fuck me already, Beni,” you whispered on his ear as you tried to get rid of your underwear.

He helped you to get it off and then step back to admire your naked form on his bed. He also set your panty on fire, as if that little piece of fabric just did the most unforgivable thing to him. You giggled as you bent your knees and spread your legs open for him. He stood right in front of you again and took two of his fingers to his mouth and then to your pussy. You wiggled your hips at his touch so he rested one knee between your legs and put his other hand around your neck to try to keep you still.

You held to his bicep with both hands ―yes you needed both to get a hold around his arm― and moaned. You moved your hips desperately, silently begging for more. Without letting go of your throat he took his dick and teased your entrance, going up and down with his tip full of precum.

He could tease you like this the whole night just to watch you squirm and whine under his hands. But the reality was he wanted to fuck you just as much as you did. So he finally gave you -and himself- what you wanted. You arched your back at the feeling of him stretching you. Even with all the teasing and preparation you still needed a minute to adjust to his huge erection. He could be a bit rough with you but he still waited for you to signal him to keep going and when you squeezed his arm he took it as his signal.

He started thrusting slow, taking his time to see his dick disappearing between your folds. Once he had enough of that hypnotic view, he pushed himself balls deep into you, like his life depended on it. The pleasure clouded your mind, you had no space for something that wasn’t him right now, nor mentally or physically.

“Oh god fuck,” you whispered when he threw one of your legs over his shoulder and started thrusting in a new position.

You couldn’t hear anything besides his heavy breathing, your moans and the constant skin-against-skin sounds. He pulled out and bent down to kiss you again.

“Turn around,” he ordered and you obeyed without a thought.

He slapped your ass and you screamed as you shut your eyes. You couldn’t hear him or see what he was doing so the expectation only added to your arousal. Then you felt his palm again on your skin and your pussy clenched around nothing.

“Again, p-please,” you said.

He chuckled and obliged. Your ass had three red marks with his hand shape and he felt proud of it. He used his fingers on you again as he kissed your spine up until he finally reached your head and whispered in your ear.

“Do you like it when I’m rough with you?” he asked. His deep voice made you feel like you were dreaming.

You nodded with desperate energy. You just wanted his dick inside you again, stretching you so good it almost hurted. And as he could read your mind, he kneeled behind you and used his hands to elevate your hips and thrust again into you. Seeing your ass hit against his pelvis was a glorious sight, he could feel himself on the edge of an orgasm just with it. But he couldn't do that to you. He took a fistful of your hair and pulled back so you couldn't muffle your moans with his cover anymore.

Beni fuck, holy sun and derivatives were the only things you could say between your moans and screams of pleasure. He slapped your ass again with all his strength when his thrusts became sloppy. Sweat dripped from his face to your back and tears of pleasure threatened to fall from your eyes if he kept that monstrous rhythm while ramming into you.

"This is what you wanted, right? Why don't you cum so I can see how bad you wanted this?" he said and slapped you again.

You moaned his name and your arms gave up to your weight and the strength of Benimaru's thrusts. He used a hand to touch your clit and rub it. That was your limit. Your climax hit you and you couldn't even keep your hips up, you collapsed on the bed as the man behind you observed as you struggled to catch your breath. He pumped his dick a few times before he started grinding against your ass and sucking bruises on your neck and shoulder, holding his weight with his hands on both sides of your head.

You felt cornered, trapped under his body and his dick still grinding between your ass cheeks, but you wanted more. So you asked for it.

"Such a good subordinate," he said as he made you roll on your back again.

He took your legs and threw them over his shoulders as he aligned his cock with your pussy to thrust again. He spit over his dick and your clit before starting to move, massaging over your sensitive organ to make you clench on him as he moved forward.

"Fuck," he hissed. He was balls deep inside you again but he didn't move this time.

You whined at the feeling of his cock stretching you again. It almost hurted, to feel him fill you like that and not move an inch.

He was biting his lower lip. You tried to move and he held your hips to make you stop.

"What's the rush?" he whispered and you were on the verge of tears again.

He knew what was the rush. He felt it too, your walls clenching on his dick, your legs trembling on his shoulders with the denial of pleasure.

He sighed. He couldn't keep his façade much longer, his balls ached for release. So he moved again, back and forward, hitting your cervix each time. You screamed and cried, it was too much. First nothing and then too much at once. You had your second and faster orgasm of your life. Benimaru lost it too, finally giving his body release, filling you up with his cum. He stood still again, feeling your pussy frantically clamping on his dick as your climax went down and your legs shaked still over his broad shoulders.

When you could breathe normally again he pulled out of you, cum dripping from your cunt and his dick to the bed.

You observed as he walked outside naked and came back with towels. You sat on the bed as you could, your legs were still shaking. Benimaru helped you to get up and cleaned you before taking off the covers and sheet of his bed.

"You shouldn't walk around naked, what if someone sees you?" you said. What if someone heard us, you thought.

"My room is the only one occupied on this wing, no one's around," he answered. "You can still stay here tonight."

"Here in the seventh or…?"

He didn't answer but he threw you one of his giant shirts before putting on some underwear and walking out again to get clean sheets. You walked out to the bathroom next to his room to wash your face and body. You would have marks in a few hours on a lot of places. You took your bag that was forgotten in the hallway and rushed inside his room again, you were still ashamed that someone saw you.

Benimaru was already sprawled on his bed, semi-naked and with one arm stretched to his side. You took that as an invitation to use it as a pillow as you laid by his side and tiredness finally took over your body.

When you woke up, Beni was gone. You assumed he was already working. You got dressed and you were ready to leave (again). When you walked outside, hoping no one was around, you were met by a soft oh that scared you.

"Konro-san, good morning!" you nervously smiled.

"Good morning. Did you enjoy your stay?"

You couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but you decided it was the latter. He didn't look the type to laugh at a nervous woman.

"I did, thank you. Your map was really helpful," you tried to joke now. "I have to go now, sadly. My vacations will be over soon."

"Come to see us whenever you like, I'm sure Waka will be pleased," he smiled.

"Thanks, again. See you next time," you said and walked away after slightly bowing to him.

#fire force #en en no shōbōtai #fire force smut #benimaru shinmon #fire force benimaru #benimaru x reader #shinmon benimaru #fire force x reader #fire force scenarios #benimaru shinmon x reader #enen no shouboutai #fire force konro #konro sagamiya

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kamosweasley · 4 years ago

Text

Not that damn song again (George Weasley x Reader)

Description : It's Christmas time so a cute fluffy fic about it sounds right. And I'm a simp for George (and Christmas songs), I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Words count : 2.5K

Author note's : lyrics from All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey are in italics.

Tag list : @memekingofwwiii

It's terribly cliché but you can't lie, you love Christmas. There is no better time of year, with snow, hot chocolate, big sweaters, cinnamon cookies and decorations everywhere, how not to love it ? You don't understand people who prefer summer with its sweltering heat and sunburn and all those damn mosquitoes. But unfortunately for you, your boyfriend is a man of the second category whereas you are a woman of the first category. Which makes some things a bit complicated, like you grumbling when he wants to pull you out in the July sun or like him not being able to stand the Christmas carols that you play over and over again from the first of November.

“Not that damn song again …” he mumbles, hiding his face in his hands. “Darling I love you, but if you play this song one more time ...”

“Come on Georgie, it’s Christmas time ! Listening to Christmas songs is essential to my mental health right now. It's either that or stuff myself with cinnamon cookies with the delicious icing and not fit into my favorite sweaters anymore. You really don't like it ?”, coming to give him a back hug with puppy eyes. He never resists you with those eyes, he loves to see them disappear to give way to a big smile.

“I'm sorry my love, but at the end of the fiftieth listening of your playlist I started to hate Santa Claus and the sound of the bells.”

You're both sitting on his bed, he's finishing his potion homework but he's not getting very far with you in the same room listening to the same songs for over a month. He hates it because he loves you with all his heart, but he's starting to wish he could go deaf so he can't stand those melodies which haunt him even in his sleep. He would love it as much as you do, but the more the days go by, the more he understands this will never be the case. And he doesn't want to put limits on how you enjoy this time, he knows how much it means to you.

You put your hands under his sweater to warm your hands, the contact of your cold skin on his abdo makes him startle as you let out a giggle.

“Sorry, my hands are cold and I know that your mother's sweaters keep me warm so I took advantage of it …”

“I know darling, it's absolutely not to satisfy your wandering hands.” he says as he turns his head to kiss you, “I'm going to ask my mother to knit you some mittens, since it's very warm.”

“Good idea, I'm freezing to death right now.” George begins to turn around with a grin on his face, ready to warm you up in his own way but you haven’t noticed his purpose, “I'm going to go make hot chocolate in the kitchen, do you want some too ? I can bring you a cup, I make the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted. No offense to your mom who must make really good ones too, but mine is better.”

You often take him by surprise, changing the subject or not noticing how the situation is turning out and he always found it charming. You make him think of Luna a little bit, on another level but just as clueless as her sometimes. Your boyfriend smiles at you, returning to his potion homework. “Anything to please you darling.”

“You'll see, it's fabulous! I have a secret ingredient, if you're nice I might tell you what it is.” you put on one of his sweaters that you take from his suitcase before you wink at him and leave the room. He should take advantage of the silence of your absence to finish his damn homework in a hurry but he can't concentrate. Potion is boring and he really loves it when you wear one of his sweaters, it's way too big for you and that's what makes you so adorable. And you will come to spend a few days at the Burrow, meet his parents as his girlfriend and receive your own sweater knitted by Molly. He hopes that you will continue to steal from him even if you have your own.

“Here it is ! Taste it and tell me.” you say while putting the cup in his hand. You already know what he’ll say of course, everybody loves your hot chocolate, there is no reason for your boyfriend not to do the same. He thanks you before taking a sip of the hot drink, ready for a chocolate too sweet with some spice in it. And it is, but he has to admit that it is particularly good. He nods his head before he smiles at you. “You're right, it's the best I've ever tasted.” He puts his cup on the bedside table and returns to his parchment.

“So why don't you keep drinking it ? It doesn't look like the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted.” You're sure George didn't lie to you, but you still hoped he would act on his words. When he tells you it's the best hot chocolate he's ever had in his hands, you wish he wouldn't let go of the cup until he's finished it. Maybe you have a misplaced ego but this chocolate is your personal pride and you want your boyfriend to treat it well.

He runs a hand through his hair, not even taking his eyes off his homework. “I've never been a big fan of hot chocolate or Christmas cookies and certainly not of all those bell-filled songs. I’m sorry darling but I never liked any of this.” You melt before his eyes, he is sincerely sorry he doesn't like what makes you so happy and you think it's too cute.

"I'm just not a Christmas person. It's good because we saw family and have presents but still don't get what you found in this period.” You come and join him on the bed, sitting in a suit in front of him. “It’s simple. Let it snow, Jingle Bell Rock, All I Want For Christmas, it’s all about a magical time.” In his eyes you can tell that he doesn't understand at all what you're talking about, which is amazing when you consider how much time he spent listening to all those songs. “We are wizards. Our whole life is magical, I'm not sure I understand you on that point.” You grab a roll of parchment and hold it as if it were a microphone, looking at him with a glim in your eyes.

The best thing you can do to help him understand is to show him. You’re not a good singer, at least George never complains about it, perhaps because he tries very hard to keep his mind upright since he doesn’t like your playlist. It's unlikely you'll be able to change his mind, but a little a capella karaoke should put a smile on his face.

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the present, underneath the Christmas tree.” While keeping your fake microphone close to your mouth, you point at your boyfriend with the same expression as Mariah Carey in the clip. “I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know ! Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you !”

As it is impossible to sing Mariah Carey without playing the diva, you give it your all and when you see George's smile, you do it well. It must be your acting more than the words of love that make him smile like that, it's like he's trying to restrain himself from laughing.

“'Cause I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight.” On all fours you come and sit between his legs, facing him. He puts his cold hands on your hips passing them under the elastic of your jogging, a smirk on his lips. You shiver from the sudden cold on your skin but don't stop singing, your face getting closer and closer to his. “What more can I do ? Baby, all I want for Christmas is you ! You, baby.”

He's right in front of you. Your noses are touching, your eyes are immersed in each other and you melt like snow in the sun at the intensity of this moment. Damn you love him.

The hunger in his eyes devours you before his lips reach yours. A passionate, fiery, kiss that will get you high. Your head empties itself of all words and thoughts, your hands naturally place themselves in his hair and behind your closed eyes you imagine his smile, his eyes shining with mischief, his hand holding yours and all those little things that make you fall for him. Over and over again.

Gasping for air, the kiss is stopped. You're almost dizzy, head spinning with butterflies messing around in the belly. Liking George Weasley drives you crazy, there's no telling, you've never felt that way about anyone else. Before him you'd never been that high, you'd never had a simple kiss that made you tremble, you'd never dreamed of spending the rest of your life with someone. George Weasley is the kind of man you should treasure, marry and have as a father to your children. For the simple reason that he will be wonderful in all these roles, with him everyday life will never be boring, he will always have the words to make you laugh or smile. He will give love like no one else to his children, an exemplary father who will take care of his children as if they were the greatest wonders in this world.

You have no doubt about it, your boyfriend will offer a wonderful life to the woman he chooses. That's why you're not going to let him go. Your lover.

You suddenly open your eyes as you feel yourself tilted to the side with George, he's still holding you against him and you land softly on the comforter and pillows. You're lying against each other and George slips one of his legs between yours so that they get tangled up. “Now we’re good darling.” He kisses your forehead and plays with a strand of your hair, it's so peaceful. “I haven't finished the song.” You feel his mouth smiling against your forehead. “Who cares ? Certainly not me, I heard what I needed to hear. I think I understand now.”

“Do you ?”

“Yes, but I still hate Christmas songs.”

You lean on your forearm to look down on him, looking pouty. “C’mon ! You’re overreacting, this song is brand new. It's only been out for a month, you can't already hate it.” He grabs you by the shoulders and applies pressure to force you to lie down, not softened by your pouty air. “You listen to it all the time and if not, you sing it. Believe me, one month is enough to get sick of it.”

After being a diva a few minutes before, you're having fun being a diva again because after all, you can't talk about Mariah like that. And you can't help but defend the honor of your favorite Christmas songs. With a burning gaze, fists on your hips and a somewhat condescending tone, you fight back. “It’s Mariah Carey so it will be a massive hit, I’m sure of it. And at least, I’m sure you will think of me every time you’ll hear this song for the rest of your life.” Smiling at you, he adopts the same facial expression and flutters his eyes saying to you in a sweet voice: “The only way I'm going to hear this song again is from you. It's a Muggle song, no one is going to know it among wizards.”

Rolling on yourself to be flat on your stomach, half on George given the proximity that the bed offers you, you give him a charming wink as you rest your chin on your hands.

“That’s what I’m saying. At the end of each year you will hear this song many, many, many times and you will think of that moment when I sang it to you in your dorm at Hogwarts. You will see the scene again as you hear me singing it from the other side of our house. Because we're going to spend our whole lives together.” Since you're already half on top of him, he has no problem placing you on top of him, kissing both your cheeks and your forehead as you go by, making you giggle. “You’re a genius. You really thought of everything.”

You mess his hair before wedging your head in his neck, breathing in his scent. You smile against his throat and you know him well enough to know that it makes him smile back. “How could I want to live without you ? You know how to make yourself indispensable Georgie, it's almost annoying.” You love it when he runs his hand through your hair, it's the most relaxing thing ever. His other hand traces back and forth in your back, making you a little sleepy. This man knows how to deal with you. “Because you thought you were the only one who thought of everything? I would never let you go.”

If you could stop time and stay like this forever, you would do it without hesitation. You're comfortable in a bed, just the two of you, your hearts are beating at the same rhythm and you're in love. Then it smells like hot chocolate and you've managed to make him smile to a Christmas song. You never want to forget this moment. “Fine by me Georgie.”

You can't resist the temptation to hum Last Christmas, but George's caresses make you fall asleep little by little. You stop before the end of the song and in a few minutes you fall asleep on him. He kisses the top of your head, finding you absolutely adorable. You always manage to fall asleep quickly when you are being tickled, which makes him very tender and amuses him a lot. He often teases you about it, it always annoys you and he finds it even cuter.

Feeling your body rise slightly to the rhythm of your breathing, he starts humming the end of Last Christmas. He takes advantage of you being asleep, so you won't be able to talk to him about it someday. Continuing to run his hand through your hair and humming Christmas music, he smiles as he looks up at the ceiling. You are with him, alone and calm, in perfect harmony and he always liked to feel the beat of your heart when you cuddle. It's that kind of perfect moment. And he wishes it would never end.

#george weasley #george weasley fic #george weasley imagine #george weasley x reader #george weasley fluff #harry potter #christmas #christmas imagine

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fiveisnumber1 · 4 years ago

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Hi! I love your writing and uhm I recently encountered a fic that looks a lot like yours? Maybe I'm just imagining things tho!! because I read the first chp of timeless so long ago. It's called "like a ghost", I'm sure you can find it on Tumblr, I think you should check it out yourself,, just wanted to let you know. Have a great day!

Yeah, I just went and read it and it is scarily similar which is quite concerning because I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting my story. I’m going to be honest, I’m shaking, my heart is racing, and I’m about to cry. This is my story beat for beat. Anyone who has read it knows this. I’ve worked really hard on timeless, I started writing this back in august, this is my happy labor of love and for this to happen...I’m just really distraught. For any of my followers here are just some plot points that are way too on the nose in my opinion (and these are direct quotes from “their” story):

“As time goes and the baby grows up, they start to notice something was odd. And then they discovered the baby's powers. Sometimes it unintentionally became invisible and they had a hard time finding it, sometimes it went through a wall, and sometimes an object went through it like there wasn't anything. They started to help their kid control it's powers, but it wasn't a simple task since they were just ordinary people.“

“A dark-haired boy was sitting in his room thoughtlessly looking from his window”

“Reginald held out his hand and you accepted it not saying anything."Tell me," he started, "what are your abilities?"You hastened but then you gave him an answer."I can become invisible, or go through walls and I can let things go through me."

“Five was walking down the hallway muttering to himself. "Idiot Klaus, why he has to poke his nose everywhere, now I-" he didn't finish because he bumped into something and fell on the floor. As you fell you lost focus and became visible again. At first, Five was confused about how it was possible to bump into something invisible, but then he noticed you lying on the floor.”

“You were regularly visiting the academy, learning how to control your powers and improve them. The only time when somebody knew about your presence was that bump accident with Five, but since then everything went well.”

"What are you doing here?" you asked. "I wanted to see you before you leave. Can we meet at Griddy's Doughnuts at 7 pm? If you know where it is," he asked shyly.”

"One plain, glazed for me," said Five. The waitress wrote the order to her notepad and left.”

“Since then you were seeing Five at Griddy's every day. The waitresses liked you and they often gave you some doughnuts for free. You talked about everything that came to your mind and you enjoyed each other's company. Five was enjoying the time you spent together. It was great having a friend that wasn't his sibling. It was so different and he liked it. But he wanted to spend more time with you and he came up with an idea.”

“It was almost seven o'clock and you were pulling the curtains when suddenly a voice came from the other end of the room."Good evening.""Jesus Christ!" you exclaimed scared. You turned around and saw Five leaning against your closet with a smirk on his face."Nah, just me," he replied nonchalantly."How did you get there?" you asked confused."I've got my ways."And then a new era of hangouts started. You were visiting each other's rooms and you spent even more time together than before”

"Yes I... I can make myself invisible, and go through walls or doors and things like that. I can also let objects go through me." you looked at Five, scared of how he would react.”

"When were you born?" "What?" you blurted. "When were you born?" he repeated his question. "Uh... October 1st, 1989 exactly at noon, why?" You were genuinely confused about why he wanted to know your birthday when he just discovered you had some superpowers. "Yeah that makes sense," he nodded muttered more to himself. "What are you talking about, Five?""I was born on the same day, the same year, and the same hour as you! And all my siblings too, and we have superpowers like you but different," he finally explained.

"Really? And I was scared that you'll freak out if I'll tell you about my abilities," you smiled. "What you can do?" you were curious. "Look," he said simply and then disappeared in a flash of blue light. You were looking at the place he disappeared in awe. Then he alerted you to his presence.”

“This was great, now you could be fully open to him and didn't have to hide your talents.”

It was too long for a direct quote but the reader plays a prank on Five’s siblings kind of in the same vein as how the reader in my story popped her head through Five’s chest to scare them

"Since all of my children most likely know about you, you will start training with them. At least it will be a new challenge for them. Training with an invisible opponent can advance their reflexes."

“Why didn't you tell us about her Five?" asked Allison. Five hastened. He didn't exactly know, he hadn't thought about it much. "I don't know," he said finally with a shrug. "Maybe because he loves her," exclaimed Klaus mockingly. "Shut your mouth," snapped Five. He suddenly felt hot and he didn't know what was that supposed to mean. Klaus laughed at his reaction.”

“After that, you were spending more time at the academy. You finally had the opportunity to meet Five's 'stupid siblings' as he liked to refer to them. You found out why Five liked Vanya and Ben the most. They were much calmer than Diego, Luther, and Allison, but you still liked them all. You met Grace, their robotic mom, and Pogo a chimpanzee who can speak to your amazement. You enjoyed being here because you could be yourself. You didn't have to hide your powers. You laughed with Klaus, spent time in the library with Five, listened to Vanya play the violin. You had deep talks with Ben, learned some tricks with knives with Diego, danced with Allison, or helped Luther with his workout. But your friendship with Five was the strongest. But time flies when you're having fun.”

“You were near the gates when Five rushed from the house, looking positively furious. You wanted to know what pissed him off so you ran after him because he was really fast in his fury. When you caught up with him you took him by the shoulder, so he can acknowledge your presence.”

"Not ready my ass..." muttered Five angrily. "Five!" you shouted at him, trying to get his attention. But he hasn't heard you. And there was another flash like before. Now it was snowing? You groaned and tried to get Five's attention once again.”

"Not now (y/n)!" He yanked his hand from your grip and disappeared in the same flash as the previous ones. "Ugh, screw you then,"

"Are you lost?" asked the woman with a worried look on her face. "No," you let out a nervous chuckle, "I live in here. With my aunt and uncle, are they in there?" You stood on your tiptoes so you can peek into the house. The woman looked even more concerned now. "Do you mean Mr. and Mrs. Harper? They moved out twelve years ago."

“You froze in shock. "What?" you blurted out in confusion. How much time passed? "What year is it?" "It's 2016..." she said.”

“You just simply couldn't be in 2016, it was 2002 minutes ago!”

“You were standing in the entrance hall for a few minutes, waiting for you to wake up from this horrible dream, but nothing happened. Any second now... "(y/n)?" you heard a shocked voice. You looked to the left and saw Grace, standing there with a duster, shocked expression on her face. "You're back," she said and put down the duster. She came to you and cupped your face in her hands. You gave up on the idea of you dreaming. This felt so real, it couldn't be just a fantasy. "Is somebody else here?" you asked. "Diego, Ben, Vanya, anybody?" "Oh," Grace sighed. "No, they all left some years ago. And Ben..." she looked sadly at you and you understood what she meant. You started shaking and you felt like there was some sort of pressure on your chest.”

“Nothing much changed, but then you looked at the fireplace and you saw a painting there. You looked up and froze once again. It was a painting of Five. You were looking up at it and then a wave of rage hit you.“

“His hand was turned palm up and he could see a tattoo on his forearm. It was the one they all got tattooed one day. The symbol of the umbrella academy. They really were his family. He felt a lump rising in his throat. He decided to go get his cart, but something caught his eye. He quickly rushed to it and he couldn't believe what he saw. It was you. You were much younger than the others. You looked like a teenager, just a few years older than he was. Your eyes were half-open, without a spark of life.”

“It was devastating seeing all of you dead. But the sight of your dead body was the worst for him. He carefully put your head down and stood up, not looking away from you. He had to find a way out. He had to prevent this from happening.”

“Since you don't have anywhere else to go, you can live there, but you will remain training and you will have a strict schedule, do you understand?"You snorted and said, "I won't be part of your silly academy.""I'm fully aware of that," he didn't look away from his papers, "Grace prepared a room for you."

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella acedmy #ua #umbrella academy #five hargreeves #tua five #five #tua five hargreeves #five hargreeves x you #five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #five x y/n #five x you

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

DON'T CROSS THE LIMIT

Second part: No without you.

Hank ‘Tranq’ Loza x Obispo ‘Bishop’ Losa daughter!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Author comments: Something I needed to write. This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @sonsofeorl.

WARNINGS: NSFW, soft smut and maybe a little angst.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba @destynelseclipsa @sheeshgivemeabreak @abbiesthings @knowles-morgan ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“Do you need someone to fix you up, Pacificador?”

Tranq turns around finding you resting against the metallic wall, close to the ring, holding a beer on your left hand with a leg curled. You're wearing one of those charming smiles that drive him insane. He was so focused fighting against Ibarra, that he didn't notice you between the crowd. Looking at him from bottom to top, stopping for a second on his bare and sweated chest barely breathing, you lick your lower lip standing up from the wall.

The last time you saw him was four months ago, before you had to go to work in a hospital in New York. But now, you're back. And with you, the sexual tension that has been installed among both since you met him six years ago, when your father brought you from Mexico. Bishop is aware of what you feel for each other, but he has never commented anything about it; he is not going to interfere in the decisions you make.

The man smirks at you, trying to clean his face of blood and sweat with a black towel.

“Do I look like I need someone's help?” He teases you, taking some steps closer.

Shortening the distance and leaning on your toes, you reach his ear without touching him.

“I know you can… take care of yourself, but I also know that my thighs could feel so good on top of you”. You whisper with a sensual thread of voice, some seconds before breaking the moment. “But you're a grown man. You can do it alone”.

Having a sip from your drink, you palm his chest twice about giving him your back. Grabbing your waist with a tattooed arm, he bows forward, placing his lips on your ear.

“Why do it alone… when la princesa de los Mayas offered herself? Club business, right?”

“Anything for my club, Pacificador”. You chuckle twisting your neck enough to look at him.

Greeting other Mayans on your way to the clubhouse, you start a race with the man through the hallway, coming into his room. Laughing and feeling happy for the first time in months, when he closes the door and catches you between his arms. Tranq sinks his nose on your neck, having a deep, deep breath of the fruity scent wrapping your skin. You let him take his time to assimilate that you are really there, and that it's not a dream.

“How many time do I have until lose you again for… who knows how many months?”

“Live the moment”.

“I'm doing it, princesa”.

Turning around under his grip, you lift up both hands to caress his chest, with your eyes on your own fingers drawing imaginary patterns.

“Take a shower, while I find the things to…” You point his face for a second, alluding to the wounds.

He nods in silence, pressing his lips on your cheek too close of your corners. You have never crossed the limit, but you can't help fantasizing about how good his tongue must feel against yours, or his hands roaming through your body. Leaving you alone at the center of the dorm, you have to take a minute to calm yourself down, before looking for the medical kit.

You wait for him checking some emails on your phone, finding your new contract ready to be signed tomorrow by morning. But you leave it away over the desk, when Tranq gets out of the bathroom wearing clean clothes. And you could swear that no one fits this good in black. No one. His face looks somewhat better, but his left eyebrow keeps bleeding. Having a seat on the edge of the mattress, next to the medical stuff, you open the kit to take some cotton to wet in peroxide.

“Don' move, okay?”

“And you?”

“What?”

“That if you can move”.

“Of co—”.

Not ending the sentence, he pushes you onto his lap with both hands on your hips. You can't help but leave an innocent laughter escaping from your throat. Your left hand tours his skin cleaning the fresh blood mixed with the short hair over his eye, focusing on the size of the wound to know how many stitches you will need. But one is more than enough. Hank can defend himself pretty well, he's been doing it since ever. You know his story. You know all the shit he has been through over the year, until Padrino called him to join the Mayans. He's also one of the most interesting men you have ever known.

“You were right”. He mutters.

“Yeah, I'm always right”. You reply too low, focused on the simple task. “But exactly, about what I'm right at this moment…?”

“About how good your thighs feel”.

You were so assorted in taking care of him, that you didn't notice his huge and long fingers touching your skin. His thumbs going up from your knees, barely lifting the beginning of your skirt. Then, they go down again, to repeat the ephemeral caresses that speed up your pulse.

“Stop… This looks like the… start of a horrible porn movie”. You complain with a soft laugh, leaving away the cotton inside the medical kit.

“I'm sure it would be the best porn movie of all”.

You lean back some inches, twisting your neck with an incredulous gesture in your face.

“What? My mother didn't raise a liar”. He adds with a firm tone of voice.

“Ay, ya, Hank… Párale, ¿sí?” (C'mon, Hank… Stop, okay?). You laugh again grabbing the small stitch, taking off the security paper to focus again on the gap.

But you can't. His hands keep touring your thighs and it's killing you, torturing you to death. Sticking it over the eyebrow, making some pressure, you crouch your gaze to his attentive dark eyes.

“What?”

“What if I can't stop?”

“Look, there is a line between us”. You remark with a hand among your chests. “And we can't cross it”.

“Tell me I'm not crazy”. He says pulling away some bristles of your hair, behind your ear. “Tell me that you feel the same”.

“What would solve that?” You sigh, closing your eyes, resting your hands on his shoulders.

“Nothing. But I just want to know if you have ever imagined a life together. That it wasn't only me”.

“I do. I do so many times that I find myself talking to you, as if you were with me in New York. In the kitchen, in the living room, in the bed… But then I realize you're not there, and my heart breaks a little more”.

“Why don't you call me? Why don't you text me?”

“For what? For… make it real five minutes? Then I would hang up the call and still be alone".

“You know I could leave the club and move to the big city, for you”.

Yes, you know. You know that he would leave everything for you. He can easily find a normal job, with his skills and his personality. But you know that he loves the Mayans; his brothers, his family. The mexican brings you back to reality when his lips peck your collarbone. Gently and slow.

“I bet no one can make you feel like I do”. He soughs between dearly kisses, dragging his hands on your thighs, until his wrists disappear under your skin.

His thumbs stretch both sides of your legs, nailing his other fingers under your buttocks.

“I bet no one can touch you like I do”.

His rapturous voice intoxicates you completely, closing your eyes again and focusing on his caresses. Traveling his mouth to your neck, leaving some short kisses there.

“I bet you're so wet right now because of me”.

“Hank…” You gasp totally lost in the way his right hand has to go a little down.

You can't lie. It's the first time he goes so farther, and he already has you begging in silence for something else, however slight. His forefinger continues over your panties, down to your core to press it lightly. A soft moan dies in your throat with his teeth trailing your skin. He knows exactly how to play with your mind to drive you crazy.

“Just one second”. He implores you muttering it, not needing a single word from you to know what you want him to do.

With the help of a second finger, Tranq pulls aside the fabric, sliding the longer one inside you; so slow that you can feel perfectly how it makes its way between your tightness. You moan again kissing your chin, until reaching the height of your lips.

“This feels so much better…”

“Hank…”

He ignores you, pulling down his finger to thrust it again, drinking every gasp, every sob that comes from your mouth. You are conscious that this shouldn't be happening, but four months has been too much time. You used to conform yourself with a light touch from him, a kiss on your cheek, a quick hug. But now, you can't handle the necessity you have developed by having so much distance between you two. And you want more.

“Stop, please…” Fortunately, your brain manages to make a connection with your mouth.

“You sure?” He asks, somewhat disappointed.

“We can't”. You shake your head, growling pitifully when you feel the emptiness wrapping you again.

The mexican nods then, supporting both palms of his hands on the mattress, pulling his gaze away from you.

“I'm sorry”.

“It's okay, princesa”.

He's not angry at you, but at the separated lifes you have to live because of your father. Because you can't lose him, even if it means to lose yourselves. Getting up from his lap, you put your clothes on well, accommodating your hair behind your shoulders to pick up the medical stuff. Grabbing your phone from the desk, you leave the dorm with your legs shaking. More because of the rage, than because of the pleasure, for short it was.

Reaching the bar, you take a Jose Cuervo bottle from it, to hide inside the Templo. The only place where no one is going to come in tonight. The Mayans are too busy enjoying the party and the bitches hanging around. Almost closing the door, you fall down on the leather sofa, opening the tequila to have a long sip until the liquid burns your throat. He has made it real for a moment and you're feeling unhappy like never before.

The salty tears flow in your lips, without knowing when you started to cry. It's terrible shit carry something like that for six years, touching it with your fingertips, to see that you're losing it out of sheer cowardice. And, what could be worse? Lose your father, who has loved you unconditionally, or lose the man who you love unconditionally?

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #hank tranq loza #hank tranq loza x reader #tranq loza x reader #tranq losa x reader

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witchsheartbooks · 5 years ago

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Hiya! Could I request Claire and the boys with a autistic s/o 👉👈 sorry if this seems a little weird but I'm curious 👉👈

As someone who is on the Autistic spectrum, I felt the need to write this one personally. Please don’t feel embarrassed at all, I’m glad I was able to write a set of head canons for this considering my own position on the spectrum. I’ll be answering two prompts in one here. The old request was an S/O with Autism on a date with the boys and Claire. I do hope you enjoy.~

Wilardo:

The two of you are out and about. Wil decided to take you to a botanical garden and specifically over to a vast section of flowers that you were quite interested in.

You happen to see one of your favorite subspecies of flower and begin to flap your hands.

Wil always found your little quirks endearing so any time he noticed you stimming in a positive manner he couldn’t help but crack a subtle smile in your direction

His good mood is interrupted however when he notices a group of passerbys begin to point and laugh.

Tears start to brim in your eyes as your stimming is interrupted and you hide behind Wilardo, utterly embarrassed due to the people poking fun at you.

Wilardo is silently fuming but he was reluctant to leave you since you were going into a crisis mode.

Instead he pats your head briefly before calling out, “Hey. Mind your own business or go somewhere else. I know the owner of this garden and they’d gladly kick you out with a simple word from me.”

He flashes a smug triumphant grin in their direction.

The ableists whine like the little snow flakes they are and leave.

Wilardo then turned his attention to you, his tone softening.

“Come with me.”

He gently takes your hand and leads you to a secluded part of the garden that had been roped off.

He continues to lead you even further inside, weaving through a rose hedge maze.

Roses were another flower you enjoyed so you focused on them as the two of you walked.

When you both reached the center of the maze there were several cherry blossom trees cusping over a large koi pond.

The two of you sit in a small wood fixture that was suspended partially over the pond.

He had brought you here mostly due to how easily overstimulated you could get especially while in crisis mode.

You nod, letting your leg bounce so you could stim.

“Just because they said those things. Doesn’t mean I’ll even judge you for stimming, [Y/N].”

You nod eagerly and scoot closer to him while the two of you watch the swimming Koi.

“Next time I see ‘em though I’ll kick their teeth in.~” He quipped at you with a grin.

Sirius:

He had brought you both to one of those public tea rooms.

Usually the lavender was the type to enjoy such pleasantries with you at home.

But regardless of spoiling you himself with his own skills he was not one to avoid spending atleast some of his earnings on his partner.

So as a change of pace he brought you out today.

And as nervous as he often was with going out into public, he felt confidence when bringing you.

Sirius held great admiration towards you, namely your ability to be yourself even considering how unique you were.

Which is why when hearing an odd comment from the member of the wait staff who had been attending you both his softer expression with you hardened.

Turning to the waiter in question, he stood.

And this was deemed odd considering Sirius was not one to make a scene in public. Perhaps at home should something happen but never when the two of you were out.

With a smile of which that you could only assume put the waiter in his place, Sirius stated this. “I do believe I’ll have a word with your store owner. Now.”

The waiter froze, attempting to mumble protests but Sirius was having none of it. “ I don’t believe I asked for your input on the matter, Did I? No I believe you over extended that yourself a moment ago when saying what you did about my partner. Now. If you don’t bring your store owner to me I’ll gladly find them myself. Considering I’m a regular and we know eachother quite well.”

Defeated, the waiter scurried off and into the back prep room.

Neither of you saw him again for the rest of that evening but instead you were both attended to by the store owner themselves.

They had set down one of those slow rise sweet shaped stim toys for you after having taken your order.

The rest of the afternoon was lovely, and the store owner had been sure to speak in length to Sirius concerning proper preparations for you both next time.

And you may have heard correctly but the earlier waiter seemed to have been dismissed from service entirely.

You talked about how much fun you had to Sirius on the way home.

Info dumping about the little things and that you liked that place because it wasn’t loud!

You had also explained again that most time you couldn’t go out for public outings since it was so loud.

Sirius had known your reasonings but listened again none the less.

Upon returning home the two of you sat in the library and picked out a few books.

Sirius would put off his duties for the day just abit longer in favor of some more time with you.

Noel:

He often struggled with the idea of public dates, namely because of how many would give him attention and it would detract from his time with you.

So today Noel had decided to bring you to a star gazing observatory.

You both arrived late in the evening, not many people were here other than the occasional maintenance staff for the equipment and the building itself.

The building itself was beautiful.

After only entering in the bottom floor you were enamored with all the stars littering the walls and ceilings.

You stimmed with your hands as you moved from one location to another.

The blonde only smiled, remembering a place like this one himself.

When his mom was still around, she’d wisp them both away to an observatory that she’d privately reserve just for her, and her son.

Noel would fall asleep in her lap on these visits while she would point out the constellations and talk about star names that would make up each constellation.

He had retained a lot of this knowledge from both hearing it and brushing up on it himself later in life by reading those same books again.

Approaching your side, he directed your attention to some of the mimicked constellations on the ceiling.

Softly stating their names and which stars made up each one.

Your eyes lit up, listening to him talk. He knew so much and it amazed you!

He continued his explanations as the two of you ascended the narrow spiral stair case to the tower itself.

Helping you to the top, he then lingered by the telescope and gestured for you to come closer.

“ Y/N I want you to look through the lens. “

Your head tilts but you do so anyway.

Shoulders dropping as countless numbers of stars dance across your vision.

You pull back and stare at him, mouth agape.

Noel only smiles, laughing softly once before encouraging you again. “Go on. It’s ok. Look as much as you like!”

It wasn’t often that Noel could share his passion like this with another.

In fact it was difficult for him to downplay his own interest like this in favor of feeling he may scare you off.

But to be proven wrong, it had his chest swell, looking at you like this now.

Perhaps he could share more with you than he had first imagined.

Ashe:

As boyfriends go, Ashe was protective, to put it lightly.

It wasn’t that he was possessive, no.

He was just paranoid when it came to not being in charge of certain situations.

You equated this to his trauma and did your best to be understanding of his situation

And you both have been quite good with communication especially when you felt he was being too cautious.

So after a lengthy discussion, Ashe caves and takes you somewhere he had often wanted to.

The two of you arrive at this small charming little café off the side of town.

Pastries, sweets, sandwiches, teas and even hand crafted sweet drinks were a specialty here.

The expanse of the menu was nearly overwhelming.

Ashe having expected this, had spoken to the wait staff ahead of time in asking to be seated in one of the quieter corners and to be given more time to look things over.

Though Ashe would often get the same thing from this location,he didn’t want you to feel pressured or rushed.

You were aware of your boyfriends hobbies so you asked him about the menu, he gave his own recommendations as well as stating which items he could and would make for you at home should you ever ask.

You settle on a softer mousse cake, and lavender milk tea.

Ashe orders a strawberry mousse cake for himself, and hibiscus tea.

When yours arrives, you try a bite and melt in place, eyes lit up as you simply stare at it.

Ashe laughs softly, “My my, Y/N is it truly that amazing?”

He made a mental note to make some for you himself at a later date.

Ashe enjoyed making sweets and meals for you, and as nice as it was to take you out.

There was a sense of pride for him with being able to make such things for you completely by himself.

On the way home you chattered about the cake and about how cute the location was.

All Ashe could do was watch your smile.

There was, a bittersweet nostalgia present here.

But he chose to keep it to himself.

For perhaps one day he’d choose to stop burying it.

Claire:

As bubbly as Claire was, she was often focused on doing things you wanted to do.

You both played off of each other well considering you both had sensory stims.

So, Claire understood you best or atleast that’s what you felt.

She took your hand and you both walked together to the farmers market.

She wanted to get some ingredients to bake with you today but you had no idea that she was bringing you here for another reason as well.

You pause and perk up once you both reach one of the corners of the market.

A petting zoo. There were so many animals, bunnies, small puppies and kittens, chickens, llamas, goats, and even a few baby calves.

You bounce in place turning to her and giving her the largest pair of puppy eyes you could manage.

Claire laughs and rubs your shoulder, “I didn’t only bring you here to shop! Let’s go see the new friends we can meet, ok?”

You throw both your hands up briefly and do a little skip as you take her hand and bring her along with you.

You both enter the small little zoo and you fixate on the bunnies.

There were so many and most all of them were bundled on top of each other in one corner of the open top enclosure.

They seemed to be sleeping so instead of interrupting you only chose to try to count how many were there sleeping.

Hopping from each enclosure, you’d either gently pat some of the animals there or you’d count all the ones that were sleeping.

A high pitched meow resonated near you and you looked down to see this tiny black kitten curling up on your foot.

Flapping your hands, you rub at your eyes briefly so not to cry over how cute it is before scooping it up.

You turn to Claire and stick out your lip.

She pauses and says, “Oh! That ones, cute-“

Then the realization resonates, “Ooooh, you want to bring it back with us huh?”

You nod, having gone non verbal. You gently squish the kitten in both of your arms as it chooses to nap there.

“Hm….ok!” Claire steps aside to talk to the owner and after some brief haggling you both walk away with a new small friend.

Later the two of you arrive home and you’re glued to the little fuzzball for the rest of the evening in between helping Claire with dinner and dessert.

~Mod Sirius

#Witch's Heart #Claire Elford #Wilardo Adler #Sirius Gibson #Noel Levine #Ashe Bradley #Actually Autistic #I put that tag because yes this writer is autistic #Mod Sirius #Headcanon #Anonymous

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ilchohand · 5 years ago

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Ichidai San vs Seidou: Koshien Aftereffects

@ Anon-san, here's the essay haha!

I've officially watched the Ichidai San vs Seidou match for the fourth time last night. My adrenaline was so high, I couldn't sleep until 3am that I ended up wanting to unleash all these feelings for this show.

Daiya, Act II ep 13

And I kid you not. I'm writing 'bout everyone in Seidou.

Coach Kataoka & Ochiai

Let's start with Boss. I'd like to reiterate that he always had high hopes for Eijun.

Daiya, Act I ep 5

He placed Eijun in the first string even when the boy was still shit with his form, his control, and zero baseball knowledge. Even Osaka Kiryuu's coach implied that it's actually Eijun who is Kataoka's secret weapon.

I remember him even letting Eijun pitch against Raichi during the batter's next at-bat against Eijun. That was cleary a sign that he was starting to trust Eijun. But clearly Eijun wasn't still good enough back then. Kataoka knew of Eijun's potential, it's just that he didn't expect him to grow soooo fast. Eijun was bound to get there someday, but not this soon. However, seeing Furuya's pitching in Koshien, he too was blinded by it since he was desperate for a real ace with an impact. Of course you'd wanna parade your pitcher like that. This is where Ochiai enters the picture. (If you've ever felt personally victimized by Ochiai, please raise your hand! ✋) Kidding. Ochiai was shit during his introduction. It took a long time to warm up to him, but he was an essential addition to the coaching staff. Kataoka, although tough is more of a feeling kind of coach. While Ochiai takes information at face value. Clearly in the Ichidai game, Ochiai was the one who was practical even suggesting that Eijun's pitching is more effective (even though he likes Furuya as a pitcher more). Kataoka was blind, and it was glaring. Why? You see the other teams were watching. And every single coach of the teams Seidou played against with is wary of Sawamura- even Inashiro's Coach Kunitomo. Eijun is the kid who rallied Seidou to one out away into reaching Summer Koshien- during his first freaking year.

This is why I really like it when Ochiai said Kataoka is human afterall. I guess Kataoka also has some growing up to do.

I'd like to add that these two coaches were blinded by the Koshien performance that they didn't even notice that Furuya's form was crumbling. Quoting these reddit posts, the coaching staff was purely after results. If it's not broken, don't try to fix it. We all gotta say thank you to baseball jesus, Chris-senpai, for we won't be having this problem with Eijun.

Furuya

Contrary to people saying Furuya became selfish, I feel like he actually knew what his role is and the expectations from him. He never once lost the goal to win Nationals. It's just that, he didn't know how to actually do it. He was chasing his best performance. He didn't want to be Japan's #1 pitcher for the title you know. He wanted to be the top pitcher to bring his team to the top.

Let's accept it. Despite being a monster rookie, he shouldered the ace number prematurely. Of course the weight of it would one day catch up to him. This is why the phrase 'There are no shortcuts.' keeps being reiterated in the story. I felt bad for Furuya so much. This phase of his baseball life is pretty parallel to Eijun's yips arc.

Eijun

How do I even start with our ball of sunshine? He really puts relief in 'relief pitching'. Such a refreshing player. Woah, like Sanada Shunpei. Yes we know that an ace carries the whole team, we know that an ace saves the team during a pinch, and an ace uplifts the overall mood. Already sounds like Eijun right? We know the role of an ace and how an ace should perform towards the team. What the Ichidai San match highlighted is how a team, in response, acts towards the ace. Trust. It really slapped me in the face the same way it frustrated Eijun. The extreme difference in trust given to an ace versus a relief pitcher.

This was the turning point for Eijun. Probably why I love rewatching it despite the angst. (For a more painful experience, try rewatching the episode before the Ichidai San match 🤭🔪🦝) Anyway, during that scene where Kataoka was dumbstruck with Eijun's top tier pitching I kept remembering that one quote from HQ by the U19 coach--

"We don't look for them, but that doesn't matter. They come to us with solid, undeniable strength and they make us choose them."

Literally screams SAWAMURA EIJUN!!!

Miyuki Kazuya

Where should I stab him? (Ya'll stop taking me seriously when I say stab okay?) I've been saying this all the time but our personality is the same. It's nasty. I love him and hate him at the same time okay?

Anyway, I hope we're all aware and agree that Miyuki also saw Eijun's potential from day 1. Sakuhin shit right there. Miyuki likes interesting people or happenings. This guy played catch with noob Eijun during his day-off! Offered, in fact. (Act 1, ep 5 during that intra squad game of 2nd/3rd yrs vs 1st yrs).

May I also add! Chris didn't like Eijun in the beginning. It was Miyuki who ended up covincing Chris to look at Eijun clearly and say "to a catcher, he's the most interesting kind of pitcher". However, this boy has his first string duties so it was understandable that he focused on Furuya for a while. But what's unacceptable is, during Ichidai's game, he was guilty of prioritizing Furuya over the game. This is 99% on Kataoka but 1% on Miyuki. Bitch you were losing and you couldn't even send distress signals to the coach. He trusted Furuya because of the Koshien performance and the ace number when a whole ass Sawamura Eijun exists. That's why he was quite guilty when Eijun dropped the 'trust' word on him during the switch.

And while I like that Eijun's performance during the Ichidai San match was eye opening to the catcher, I still haven't forgiven Miyuki for the day before the game when he 'ditched' or put Ei on the back burner. No, no. I'm not simply being a bitch about it because we know Miyuki's POV at that point. He needed to figure out what's wrong with Furuya and a match was looming. He didn't throw Eijun away, he just put him off a few hours. What I'm angry about is the way he put it to Eijun.

We all know Eijun is dying for some Miyuki acknowledgement. I'm pretty sure Miyuki is so unaware of this fact. Which brings me to the point. Miyuki is unaware of how his words come across to Eijun. How it impacts the little pitcher. That a simple jab to Eijun like "ace-sama wants to pitch" is a big sore spot. We see this later at night when Eijun keeps repeating, "Since I'm already put at the back burner!". Miyuki was being sarcastic about the ace-sama thing. But you see, Eijun is a big idiot. He takes everything at face value. Miyuki even brushes it off as they practice catch, "You're still angry about that?" he jokes.

And whooosh, everything's okay! Or is it?

You may say I'm being dramatic about it. But no. Here's why. During the Ichidai match, Eijun flashes back to two things. One, while on the bullpen frustrated that Furuya's messing up, he recalls the day before when Miyuki chose to catch for Furuya even though he promised to Eijun. (The other one, at his at-bat, he remembers when Kataoka didn't let him pitch the last inning.) So what seems to be a simple nasty joke to Miyuki is a sore spot to Eijun. I have observed this time and time again, but Eijun is quick to under value himself, and these jokes Miyuki pulls aren't helping. Recall that crippled Sawamura self deprecating joke he did, and him saying he was put in the back burner.

(Well anyway, Miyuki was praising Eijun in his mind the night before so I'm appeased. This is one of those TJ inconsistencies I hate, but okay, that's another post. ☹️)

Everything got better after the Ichidai game. Because as Eijun made Kataoka look at him properly. He also did the same to Miyuki. Eijun's performance just screamed, "I'm here. I'm ready!" It lit a fire to everyone in Seidou.

Fielders/Batters

I want to end my long ass post with a good one. I wanna highlight the team's performance during the Ichidai game.

While Furuya was pitching, I could go as far as say the fielder's were baby-ing him. They were so soft and encouraging because they knew Furuya when he is at his best and that it was off day during that time. The fielders were playing primarily to relieve Furuya's pressure.

In contrast, when Eijun was playing on the mound do you guys know how the batters felt? Kanemaru? Kuramochi? Utter frustration and hopelessness. And I was giddy as fuck when that happened. Because Eijun was performing his best, but they couldn't get any runs in response to his amazing pitching. It mothafuckin felt so good watching them feel powerless.

Don't you love this whole match? Obviously I do haha! If you guys ended up reading everything, then thank you! I really wrote this for myself because I was overwhelmed while rewatching it. 😅

#I PRINTED THE DRAFT OF THIS ON PAPER #THE THINGS I DO FOR DAIYA #I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOI EIJUN SO MUCH #MIYUKI LOOKED SO TURNED ON DURING EIJUN'S FIRST PITCH DURING THE ICHIDAI GAME. DON'T LIE.#daiya no ace #sawamura eijun #miyuki kazuya #furuya satoru #kataoka #coach ochiai

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valcarolrights · 6 years ago

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Insecurities (Carol Danvers/Reader)

Pairing : Established Carol Danvers x Reader Relationship

Summary : Reader is insecure about getting an education while being older than the average university students and takes on a workload with great force, causing Carol to intervene.

Words : 1.5k +

"The pizza came about ten minutes ago." Carol announces as she strolls into the room.

You barely spare her a glance before nodding. "That's great. Can you keep some for me?" You ask and she frowns.

"I can but I'd rather not." Her tone becomes concerned. "Baby, you haven't eaten all day. You also haven't left the room all day. I don't even want to know when last you slept."

"Look Carol, I'll do all of that tomorrow after the exam, okay?"

"You're thinking of going through the night?" Carol asks, her eyes widening and you shrug.

"I'll have to. I underestimated myself greatly. I have to know everything." You explain your mindset, briefly looking up from your notes to see Carol raising her brows at you. "I'll eat later and take a small nap if you let me revise now?" You try.

Your girlfriend sighs and leaves the room without saying a word. You felt bad, but you could make all you wanted to up to her after your last exam.

You read through your notes repeatedly for the next five minutes, closing your eyes every so now and then to recite them aloud. After finally getting an entire paragraph right without looking, you smiled widely and looked back down at your book to do the same with the next one. As you started reading inwardly, your book was shut in your face.

You blinked twice and looked up. "Really?"

"You need to eat Y/N." Carol says sternly, a plate in her hand.

"I will eat, just not now. I'll just finish this chapter and then I'll come and eat, I promise." You try, knowing full well you're lying.

"You're lying." Carol accuses you and you sigh before taking the plate from her hand.

"Thank you." You mutter.

"Mhm." She mumbles before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Are you going to watch me eat?" You ask the blonde and she nods.

"You can't be reckless and not look after yourself for one simple test. You're only human Y/N." Her voice takes on a softer tone. "You need to be in top condition to write but you're using all your time stuffing this information into your head."

"Because I need to pass." You supply and she nods.

"Yes but how are you going to write an exam starving and with no energy?" She counters.

"Touche." You give in. "I just want to pass and graduate so I can be done."

"I want you to do well as well so I can be cheering the loudest at your graduation as well, but you need to take care of yourself so you can get there." Carol lectures you seriously.

"You make good points." You give in before picking up a slice of pizza. "Just one break to eat and then I'm going back at it."

"One break to eat and a two hour nap and then you're going back at it." Carol corrects you, watching unchanged as your expression falls. "You need to take care of yourself baby."

"Fine." You huff.

"You're so stubborn." Carol laughs before gesturing to the plate. "Now eat up so you can close your eyes. You need to be up by eleven."

"You said two hours. That makes it ten." You argue and she sighs.

"You need time to fall asleep too, idiot."

After Carol watched you finish your dinner, claiming she'd already had hers with the team, you huffed and rolled yourself into the bed underneath the blankets, feeling extra guilty when your body practically melted into the mattress. It felt wrong to relax knowing you were writing your final exam the following day, but it felt so good too.

It felt even better when Carol slid in behind you, sliding her arm around your front. "So you wanted to sleep and wanted me to sleep with you?" You ask and Carol's breath falls on your ears as she replies.

"Maybe. But can you blame me? I haven't seen much of you since you started writing exams." She says softly as if not to disturb the peace in the dark room, the guilt bubbling back up in the pit of your stomach. "And also you have the biggest bags underneath your eyes. You need every drop of sleep you can get." She adds before pressing her lips to your ear, causing you to shiver. "Cold?" She asks innocently and you answer quietly.

"A little bit."

She hums thoughtfully and silence falls over the room again. You close your eyes and accept that it's the end of the conversation but gradually feel your body warming up as a result of Carol. You could almost swoon because of how sweet she was yet you on the other hand were avoiding her like the plague just to make it through your final academic year.

"Thank you." You finally say and she hums in recognition again before you shake your head. "No, thank you." You repeat, closing your eyes as you continue speaking, succumbing to her warmth. "For taking care of me even though I haven't treated you well in the past two weeks."

"I understand. You're like a super perfectionist, I get that. You don't just want to do well, you want to do really well." She says, pressing her fingers into your stomach. "It's okay. I just want you to look after yourself as well."

"I'm not only doing it for me, I'm doing it for Tony." You reply in honesty. "I mean he's doing so much for me right now. Giving me an opportunity that others don't have."

You and Sam had been friends for a good number of years and during the time he was wanted by the government, he stayed with you a few times. So many times you began to become well acquainted with his suit and adjusted it and fixed it sometimes when it came back a little dilapidated. When you weren't at work you decided to design some new things to make sure he was seen less but still did his job well. When he came, boy were you excited to lay the new upgrades on him.

After the war with Thanos, and everyone had made up, Tony demanded to know who helped Sam out and surprisingly offered you an apprenticeship, claiming you wasted your time in an office. When you expressed your want to pursue your passion, he offered to help you out. And you wanted nothing more than to make the best of it.

"That's really cool of him." Carol yawns, spurring a yawn of your own on. "But he's not putting any pressure on you. He knows you're smart, I know you're smart."

"I'm doing it for you too." You add after a beat of silence. You sigh because your fatigue always gets you in trouble, pouring gasoline over your honesty. "I know its a lot for you to be with someone my age who's still in university." you say quietly. "Most people my age are successful by now but I'm still studying." you reveal your insecurities.

"Thats what makes you special to me." Carol frowns. "When I first met you and you were trying to come up with a solution for my new suit, I was taken. You suggested a lot but also listened to Tony and Bruce. You never wanted to stop learning and you still don't. You're like... The smartest person ever. Sure there are some kids in your classes but remember that before you studied you were also successful, just not in the career you wanted to be in. Everything takes time but I'm proud of you either way."

You feel the warmth building in your chest before bringing Carol's hand up to your lips, expressing your emotions in three words. "I love you."

"I love you too, stupid." She retracts her hand from your lips and uses it to brush your hair aside to press a kiss on your cheek. "Now go to sleep so you can wake up and revise."

True to her word, Carol woke you up at eleven with a cup of coffee, some more pizza as a midnight snack and some kisses to get you going. This time, you allowed her to help you study and ask you questions - finding it much easier and more enjoyable seeing as with every correct answer you were awarded with a kiss.

Unfortunately, the kisses sometimes became heated.

You giggled as you pushed Carol off as she tried to push her tongue into your mouth. You felt her burning fingers on your lower back under your shirt. "Later."

"Fine." She grumbles, giving you one last peck before continuing to ask you questions.

By two am, you'd gone through all your work with the blonde and had fallen asleep with a slightly fuller stomach and her arms wrapped around your waist securely.

You were again woken by kisses and some coffee - this time with a whole breakfast included, making your heart melt because Carol had woken up extra early to make breakfast too to make sure you were well nourished.

It sometimes bothered you that outsiders would never be able to see what a giant puppy the great photon blasting Captain Marvel was outside of the compound.

After a few more good luck kisses, Carol dropped you off at your exam venue and true to your word, after your exam you continued your make out - and more - session.

And true to her word, she cheered the loudest at your graduation.

#Carol Danvers #Carol Danvers x Reader #Captain Marvel x Reader #MCU #Captain Marvel #Captain Marvel/Reader #Carol Danvers/Reader

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