#I'm sorry about all the symbolic bullshit I put in these

[mrssimply]

Midnight Demons.

[honeyxbunny99]

Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt.5

You rolled over onto your other side and woke in a start when your arm ran into something big. You gasped, having never woken to a man in your bed. Then memory struck that the muscled hairy frame beside you belonged to your husband, who had just fucked you into perhaps the best sleep you'd ever had. You smiled to yourself as you watched his body gently heave up and down, hearing him snore. You sat up in bed, covering your chest with a sheet and leaning over to trace small infinity symbols on his bicep.

Your husband grumbled and his hand snapped to your wrist.

"It's me." You assured, kissing his shoulder and placing your other hand on top of his.

"I know it's you... That tickled." He smirked, rolling over and pushing you back down to the bed. You squealed as he hovered on top of you again. "What is this bullshit?" He looked at the sheet and pulled it down to expose your breasts, resulting in another gasp from you. "There they are."

He sighed heavily and laid his head down on your chest, crushing you. You giggled, "Get up."

"Go back to sleep."

You tried to struggle beneath him but he was dead weight. He began snoring exaggeratedly and you squirmed.

"Ooh, careful, I like that." He warned and you stopped immediately, hitting him gently on the shoulder but smiling brightly when he looked at you. ~He's smiling! Really smiling! At me! He likes me!~ You blushed under his gaze before grabbing his face with both hands and joining your lips together in a quick, chaste kiss.

A knock sounded at the door and the handle jiggled up and down.

"(Y/n)? Are you okay in there?"

It was Anna on the other side of the door. You felt like you were doing something wrong and began scrambling, whispering, "What are we gonna do?!"

Sandor laughed at your worried expression. "What if your husband finds out?"

You narrowed your eyes pointedly at him and faked a laugh. He finally raised up from you and you saw he was still naked. "Hide!" You whispered.

"I-I'm fine, Anna, just one second."

"HIDE?!?" Sandor mocked you, matching your whisper. "Are you ashamed of me now?"

"Sandor, your cock is out." He looked down and then turned to you, hands on his hips. "All the more reason to stay put."

"Go, please!" You begged, getting up and quickly putting on a robe before shoving him into the closet. You ran back to the door and cleared your throat, grabbing the key and unlocking it to reveal a very confused Anna. "Hello, my love." You greeted her.

"(Y/n) what happened last night?" She entered the room and sat down on the bed, making herself at home.

"Well, straight into it then, huh?"

"You woke me in the middle of the night to bring bathwater for the hound... Yes, straight into it."

You sat down with her and sighed, praying your husband would keep quiet in the closet and not scare the spirit out of your friend. "Last night, I..." You tried not to stammer and choose your words carefully, knowing he was most likely listening. "I don't know, I just wanted to be kind to him... Anna... He killed for me."

Anna widened her eyes. "Killed who?"

"I don't know, some member of the Kings guard... He was spreading rumors about me and Sandor just turned on him... I think he's warming up to me." You smiled softly, looking down at your hands which you'd joined with hers.

"I think he likes killing." She said coldly, surprising you. "I'm sorry, milady, but I heard what the queen regent said yesterday, and I think she's right... After the way he's been treating you, with a man like that in your life, you'll never have love." She trailed off, regretting the disappointed expression she'd caused on your face. "Except me, (Y/n), of course. I love you!" She wrapped her arms quickly around your shoulders and you pat her gently on the back, though you were offended at her words and truthfully did not want to be holding her at all. "You're too kind and beautiful for that old dog."

"Sandor." You reminded her.

"Sandor... Does he call you by your name?" She quipped, not knowing of all the intimacy you'd shared behind closed doors. She looked back at the sheets and you both saw the blood. She shook her head, her eyes growing angry. "Forgive me, milady, but I won't call him that. You're an angel and he's a dog. Look at what he's done to you, again." She stroked her fingers down your cheek and stood up. "I'll launder these right away, you just rest, (Y/n)."

You watched the closet silently as she stripped the bedding, feeling so horribly embarrassed and sad for your husband. You hadn't expected her to be cruel to him, though you supposed now you should have seen it coming. Anna left the room, closing the door and you stood slowly when Sandor did not emerge.

"Sandor..." You called. "I'm so sorry for what she said about you..." You approached the closet.

"Cersei said that?" You heard him shuffle around.

"Yes... When she pulled me aside in the garden yesterday... She was trying to scare me, but it didn't work."

"No," he emerged, pants and shirt on. "S'pose not seein' as how you drew me a bath instead of ran for the hills."

"Please don't be angry with Anna... I understand if you are, but she only knows what it looks like... The bruises, the blood, the loneliness."

He nodded but would not smile at you any longer.

"Thank you..." You started. He scoffed. "For the bruises?" He looked almost ashamed.

"Yes." You surprised him. "I know that everything you've done has been to protect me... You've made yourself out to be a villain and me a helpless damsel, but that's not what this is. I want to tell Anna about you, about us."

"Bad idea." He walked past you to find his boots.

"She deserves to know the truth, she'll love the real you, as I do, I just know it."

"Fuck what Anna or anyone else thinks about me!" He startled you, turning around to look you in the eyes. "As long as I have you. You're the only one I want to know me, got it?" He walked to you and held your face between his hands, forcing you to look up at him. "If other people know about us, it will only end badly."

You were confused by his desires to keep his kindness a secret, but you nodded anyways. He leaned down and planted a kiss on your forehead.

"Will you be punished for staying in so late?" You wondered aloud as he pulled on his boots. You had never seen him in the morning, after all.

"Today Joffrey is meeting with his small counsel. Not much risk there so I was given the morning off. Still, I best be gone now."

You nodded and helped him quickly put his armor back on. You opened the door for him and watched him leave without another look back at you. "Will you come to me again tonight?" You felt silly asking, like you had a childish crush. You watched the back of his head nod and you smiled and bit your lip.

You walked through the castle halls with Anna and cringed whenever she spoke poorly about 'the hound'. "I swear, the mountain should have just finished the job back when they were boys and everyone'd be better for it--"

You couldn't take it anymore, and you grabbed her by her arms and shoved her up against a wall. "Enough." You hissed. Her eyes were wild with shock and you almost felt bad. "Sandor is my husband. I will not have you wishing death, calling him ugly, cruel, anything of the sort. You know nothing about him!"

"Milady, I am--"

"Everything you think about him is false. He has been kind to me, has sacrificed for me in ways you can't imagine." You released our grip on her finally, embarrassed you had let your emotions get the best of you. "I am sorry, but when you lash out against his name, you lash out against mine now."

Anna did not say anything for a very long time, only stared at you. Finally, she asked, "Are you in love with Sandor Clegane?"

You thought on her question for a moment, breathing deeply. "No..." You settled. A soft, barely noticeable smile tugged at her mouth.

"And I'm not a handmaid." She replied. You smiled softly back at her, knowing she saw the lie in your tone as soon as you spoke it. "You're going to have to explain to me how that happened." She chuckled and offered her arm out to take yours again. You hesitated but eventually joined her side again. The pair of you walked back to your room smiling.

You decided to leave out the first night, only discussing the last two nights you'd spent together. You tried to explain the events as plainly as they happened, highlighting Sandor's best moments, but occasisonally you would get distracted and blush talking about how he looked or how his touch felt against you. Even Anna would blush and giggle with you.

"And well, this morning when I woke up, he was still there..." You began and she gasped.

"He wasn't-- When I came in and-- Oh no!" She hid her face in embarrassment. You comforted her.

"He was, I made him hide in the closet. I don't know why I just didn't want him to scare you, I guess. I didn't know if he wanted you to know we were together..."

"Milday Clegane, I offer a thousand apologies for my stupid tongue!" She shook her head. "I'll apologize to Sandor as soon as I see him."

"No, don't!" You raised your eyebrows. "He can't know that you know!"

"Why not?" She furrowed her brows.

You sighed, "I don't know, all I do know is that he told me if anyone found out the truth about us it could be bad..."

She nodded slowly. "He fears for your safety... You're meant to be tortured, not cumming and falling in love."

Your eyes widened and you both laughed, leaning into each other.

"No, he's right... It's best no one knows. Someone could report it to Joffrey and you'd be put in a much worse position than you are now."

Your stomach flipped at the thought. You wondered for a moment about Anna, if you should have trusted her with all this information. Your heart sank at the realization that you had just handed her all that she needed to betray you. "You... You won't tell anyone, will you?"

She narrowed her eyes at you. "(Y/n) they would cut out my tongue before it would speak a word against you... Or your husband." She nodded, and with the conviction in her voice, you had to trust her. "I still say that he's a lucky man... But with the way you've described him last night, I can see the appeal." She laughed and you gawked.

Anna braided your hair and told you about her own sexual encounter last night after the tournament. Later she left the room to fetch your dinner and you laid back on your bed.

"An open door, hiding behind it the prettiest girl in Kings Landing." An unfamiliar voice called from the hall. You sat up suspiciously and peeked your head to try to see. The hall looked empty from where you were standing, and so you walked closer to your door and peeked your head around the corner.

You gasped, "Gods!" before smiling to match the stranger's.

"I'm sorry to frighten you, dear, that was not my intent."

"And what was your intent, calling out to me so ominously?" You joked.

"I wanted to see you. I meant to introduce myself at your wedding, though you looked a bit fearful, so I stayed back... Petyr Baelish." He offered a small bow.

"(Y/n) (L/n)-- Clegane." You stuttered, correcting yourself. In truth, you hadn't introduced yourself post marriage before. You supposed you'd better start practicing. He smiled wider at your mistake.

"Yes, yes I know..." He didn't seem to be budging so finally you stepped out fully into the hall, ever conscious of your open door and the setting sun. "I wish to offer you my condolences; I heard tales of your abuse in the throne room, and now to be married to man called 'Hound'... It's not a fate fitting of such a beauty."

You tried to smile at his compliment, but his prescence felt almost threatening--snake like. "Thank you, Lord Baelish... I am safe and my family is safe, and that is all that matters to me now."

"Safe?" He quirked a brow. "Do you feel safe with him? With The Hound?"

Your mouth went dry, and you felt as if you were being interrogated for some crime. "He is as they describe him, but it's nothing I can't handle."

"Oh yes, you're very strong; of that I'm certain... I lost a girl to him once." He shook his head. "You see I'm in the purveyance of pleasure, the finest house in the land for it..." He looked around the hall proudly before focusing his eyes back on you, scanning you up and down. "One night, he came to my hall... Asked for a girl, a young girl. I don't deal in children and so I gave him the youngest I had at the time; a girl about your age. She'd come to me from the street, begging for shelter in exchange for her services; said she couldn't survive another day alone out there. I took her in... When I gave her to the hound that night, she looked frightened, and I suppose she should have been."

You studied him and tried not to let on that his story was indeed beginning to frighten you.

"The next morning, she packed her things and told me she had to leave. She couldn't bare the risk of seeing his face again, letting him touch her. She said 'I'd rather die in the street, than be raped by that monster again.'" Petyr swiped his tongue across his lips and leaned in closer to you, you unconsciously mirroring him. "I thought she was weak, at the time. But looking back on it all these years, without another incident from him, I've wondered what he'd done to frighten her so. When I heard of your betrothal, I pitied you. I wondered how long it would take before you chose death as well... Yet here you are, smiling and safe… Now, you've rendered me curious."

His eyes lit up as he concluded, but you were horrified. You closed your mouth and tried to fix your expression. "I..."

"He was stalking outside my pleasure house the night after your wedding night, drunk and angry... It was bad for business." He dropped casually and you bit your tongue.

"Tell me, my dear... Has this marriage been consummated?" Your eyes widened and you reared your head back in offence.

"Ask the maester. Ask my handmaiden." You said with venom in your tone, but he only smirked.

"I am asking you."

You nodded. "As I said, its nothing I can't handle. He is my punishment for speaking ill to King Joffrey, and I accept it. It is a fate befitting a bitch like me, as he said."

"I worry only for your honor, my lady." He leaned forward with another small bow and this time reached his hand out to take yours. You reluctantly obliged and allowed him to bring your hand to his mouth. "And for the women in my employ." He kissed your knuckles and acknowledged the soft bruising on your wrist. He cupped his hands around yours. "A flower means nothing to a man so violent... Do hold strong, Lady Clegane. If you ever need me, you can send Anna to me. She knows the way." He gave his sly smile again and you narrowed your brows at his knowledge of Anna.

"I'll keep it in mind..." You spoke lowly now. You couldn't put into words why you were so uncomfortable. He made no outright threats to you, no insults, and you'd heard no rumors about any dastardly deeds. Almost effortlessly, though, it felt as if he saw right through you.

You heard Anna's steps come closer until she looked up and saw Lord Baelish. Her steps slowed and her eyes cast down. "A pleasure." He nodded to you, and you nodded back, watching as he disappeared silently down another hall.

"What did he say to you?!" She questioned immediately, concern in her eyes.

"I-- Nothing."

"He never says nothing. He tries to confuse people, manipulate them, but he's always talking." She hurried past you and set the food tray onto the table.

"He told me a story about Sandor..." You were still coming to terms with it yourself. Could he have really hurt that girl so much?

Anna walked up to you and grabbed your hands to ground you. "Listen to me. He says nothing for the benefit of others. Only himself. It's best not to listen to a word he says. Just put it out of your mind."

"But, Anna.." your eyes began to well with tears of panic, reflecting on the conversation. "He questioned our marriage... What if he knows, what if he saw somehow that I love him?!"

"Then he'll think you're a stupid girl! Sandor will not budge, he doesn't speak positively of anyone. I'm sure he's still going around with his usual grimace." She assured and you steadied your breathing. "But maybe it's not enough... Maybe you need to play your part better. If he won't hut you anymore then you need to stay inside for a while. I will bring you all your meals and should anyone ask, you are unwell." You nodded.

"This is so ridiculous.” You sniffled. “Sandor’s nowhere near the monster everyone thinks he is.”

“Well you’d better start acting like he is.” She ordered. “You’re Joffrey’s prisoner whether he said it outright or not, and The Hound is your keeper. Love him in private, hate him in public.” You nodded, though you could not deny the sadness brewing in your heart at the thought.

Just then, the door swung open to reveal Sandor. “Out.”

Anna looked at you for an extra second to ensure you understood before she nodded at your husband and exited. Immediately he began to remove his armor and you wrang your hands together once to calm your nerves. You were so worried you had done something wrong and that your relationship would crumble any moment. You turned on your heel and walked over to him to help with his armor. As soon as you came to touch him he stopped his actions and looked over your face. When you had released the last piece from its lacing, he took your face in one of his hands and forced your eyes up to him.

“You’re upset. What happened now?”

You tried to gently pull your face back but he held onto it so easily. “Nothing’s happened. I’m not upset.” You tried to smile, though his fingers squeezed your cheeks.

“You’re as bad a liar as I am a dancer.” He released your face and sneered. “Was it that bitch? I’ll call her back here, she shouldn’t be upsetting you.”

“Sandor…” you said, hardly above a whisper, tears of shame threatening to spill past your lashes. “I think I fucked up.”

His face hardened and you held yourself for comfort. “I told Anna—“ “You told Anna what?!” He demanded.

“About last night! I told her… I was just trying to get her to stop saying horrible things about you and then she saw it in my eyes—“

“Saw what in your eyes?!” He looked so angry you shuttered before answering.

“My love for you… She said that it was obvious, that she should have seen it this morning.” Your voice lowered in shame and the tears ultimately slipped out. When you finally looked back at him, his face was angry but his eyes were wide in shock.

“I took her back to the room and told her about last night, about how you swore you would come to me at night to watch over me, how I’ve never felt more at peace than I did last night knowing that you were beside me…”

You waited for a berating but when his face made no change you huffed softly and walked to the bed to sit down. You pouted, feeling once again that you’d ruined everything.

“Do you trust her?” His voice was surprisingly soft.

You thought for a moment, still too ashamed to meet his gaze. “I only trust you… There is no doubt in my heart or mind about who you are to me… But Anna said that she would have her own tongue severed before she spoke against us… she’s never been anything but a friend to me. I trust her, but..”

“But?” He asked and you shut your eyes tightly.

“Do you know a man named Petyr Baelish?” Your eyes focused on his shoes now, still by the door. “Little finger?” He recognized. “I know him, he’s a snake. He’s that little shit’s Master of Coin.”

You were stunned he hadn’t been angry with you yet— you wanted to bash your own head into a wall. “He came to our room… he… He asked me if our marriage had been consummated.. He,” you looked up at him now, nearly accusing him. “said that after our wedding night you were hanging around his whore house.”

He grumbled and kicked a piece of his armor in anger. “That little cunt!” You stood in reaction to his outburst. “I’m not angry with you!”

“You have no right to be!” He retorted as he walked quickly over to the wine. As he drank you steadied your nerves.

“Well, actually—“ you began and he shot you a glare, slamming down the wine causing some to splash upon his hands. You decided to change your tone. “I’m just confused! You’re so worried about someone else finding out that you’re sweet to me, discovering you hadn’t really fucked me, and yet you seek out other women the first opportunity you get?! Of course he thinks our marriage is a sham—“

“I didn’t think—“ “Clearly.” “Shut the fuck up!” He shouted at you, though you weren’t afraid. He marched towards you and lowered his voice into a growl. “I didn’t think I could control myself!” He bared his teeth at you like an animal and you stepped back a bit, smelling the rich wine on his breath. You were confused, so you said nothing. “Do you have any idea how hard I tried to get the image of you naked and trembling out of my head?! I never meant to fuck you, woman, I’m no rapist but—!” He cut himself off and breathed heavily as he looked down into your wide eyes. “I didn’t want to spend another night with you and risk hurting you.. I thought to take it out on someone I could pay..” Looking into his eyes you began to feel bad for your judgment. “I didn’t, though, (Y/n)… I haven’t touched another woman since I met you.”

“You could have had me that night.” You told him, remembering how you waited for him on the bed until tears lulled you into sleep.

He shook his head, eyes focused now on your mouth. “I didn’t think you could ever want me.” He scoffed. “Hell, I still don’t think it.”

You looked at his lips now, wanting him more than ever, before you threw your arms around his neck and collided your mouths in a passionate kiss. “I want you, Sandor! I’m so sorry.” He kissed you back with the heat from the night before. “I don’t want to lose you, I’m such a stupid girl!” You spoke between kisses as his hands pulled you into him.

“It’s alright, princess. Everything,” his breath hitched when you kissed just below his jaw. “will be alright.” He pulled you back by your hair and you let out a small moan that caused his eyes to glaze over with lust.

“Please make me feel safe again.” You begged, sliding your hands down his chest. “Please I want you inside me!”

Your words seemed to flip a switch in him and he growled, picking you up by your ass and you struggled to wrap your legs around his waist quick enough. One hand squeezed your ass and the other pulled your hair just right as he slipped his tongue past your teeth. He slammed your back against the wall and you moaned again in surprise, tongue darting out to stroke his. He pulled away, leaving you breathless and begging with your eyes for more contact.

“I’m not holding back this time, girl. You want me, you’ll get me.” He said it like a threat but it only made the heat in your stomach expand and your thighs clench together in excitement.

“Get on with it then.” You challenged with a smirk. He smiled before dropping to his knees and dipping his head under your skirts. Instantly you moaned at the contact of his tongue on your folds. You threw your head back against the wall, but after only a few strokes from his talented mouth, he was up by your face again. You opened your eyes in surprise, only to hear him say confidently, “Yeah, you’re ready for me.”

You glanced down and watched him take his hard cock in hand and stroke it. “As you are for me.” He smiled and bit his lip for a moment in contemplation. “Not here.” He said and you barely had a chance to furrow your brows before he threw you over his shoulder and carried you into the bathroom. He set you down in front of the damaged mirror and turned you around to face it.

“What are you—“ he ripped your dress down your shoulders exposing your breasts and took one in his hand, looking at you through the reflective glass.

“I want you watch.” He said, voice thick with lust.

He raised of your skirts over your backside and you leaned against the sink. You felt your own wetness slide down your thigh and you closed your eyes in embarrassment. The effect this man had on your body was beyond your imagination. Without warning his hand slapped down on your ass and the head of his cock made circles around your entrance. You moaned, leaning back into him and watched him grit his teeth. And then he was inside you and you felt whole again. Tears sprang to your eyes again as he stretched you in this new position.

“Oh don’t give me that. You can take it, I know you can take it.” He teased, going so deep that you felt his balls press against your sex. Your hand reached back his grab his arm and you blinked your tears away, watching his face morph in pleasure. “That’s it, good girl.” He pulled out slowly, only to slam back in. You yelped in surprise, your nails clawing into his wrist. “So good, for me.” He struggled out pulling you back by your breasts and sinking his teeth into your neck. You moaned and reached up with your other hand to pull at his hair.

He began to thrust in and out of you quickly and you couldn’t hold back the moans. You watched his large dominating figure toy with your nipples and suckle at your neck and you felt just as powerful as he looked, watching him be overcome with lust for you. You leaned down, bent over the sink and he stayed upright, his hands on either side of your hips. You moved your hips back against him meeting his thrusts and watched him moan and groan in surprise, watching your two bodies come together. His nails dug into your ass and your head dipped in pleasure and exhaustion. He changed his angle slightly and hit the secret spot inside you that only he seemed to know about and you cried out, clenching around him.

He brought his hand up to your face and wiped the sweat from your cheek before sticking two fingers in your mouth. You licked and suckled and he panted behind you. “Good girl, don’t cum yet. You can cum when I say..” he instructed. Your face scrunched up in need of release but you did your best to obey.

“Please!” You begged finally, legs going completely weak. He slammed into you so roughly that his balls were hitting your cunt every time perfectly and it made you whimper with each thrust. “Go.” He finally breathed out, taking his fingers out of your mouth and grabbing back into your hips as if it were his life line. He was the only thing holding you up now and you shuttered and clenched around him.

“Shit!” He said and you felt something spill into you before he pulled out and released his seed all over your backside. As soon as he pulled out your legs caved and you crumpled onto the floor, still spasming from your orgasm. You rubbed your sex as he had the night before and felt another wave on pleasure wash over you. You wanted more of him but knew that he was spent. Still, as you looked up at his from the floor, looking like a God to you, you couldn’t help but act on your thoughts. He had done it to you after all.

You raised up onto your knees with little struggle and stroked his thighs with your hands, leaving wet kisses leading up to his dripping cock. “What the fuck are you—“ he gasped when you licked a stripe up the underside of his member. He grabbed your hair instinctually and you looked up at him to make sure he was alright with your actions. You flattened your tongue and licked again, tasting your combined fluids for the first time.

You moaned as you continued to clean all the juices off of him, trying to suck him just as you had done to his fingers. He let out something near a whimper and now both his hands were in your hair, encouraging your motions. You watched his chest heave quickly in excitement as you wrapped your mouth around his tip and swirled your tongue. You wanted all of him and tried your best to take him completely in your mouth. You could feel him twitch inside you and felt with your hands how his thighs began to quiver. You relaxed your throat and moved your hands to cover the rest of his member and stroke in tandem with your mouth. His hand pressed hesitantly against your head. “I want you to come again.” You said, popping him out of your mouth for only a second. “I can’t—“

You pressed on, not convinced by the way his cock was growing ever harder in your mouth. You spit and stroked with your hand and moved your mouth to pleasure his balls, his fingers pulling your hair tighter as he moaned “(Y/n).��� He stuttered out and when you looked up you realized he was watching it all play out in the mirror. You switched your hands and your mouth and picked up speed. His breathing grew more intense above you and you heard him mutter curse words when you swirled your tongue around his tip again. He looked down at you in shock and tried to control his hips natural urge to thrust. You stroked him fast with your hands and quickly licked the underside of his head until he groaned and tried to pull away, white pouring out of him again. You whined and leaned forward to claim your prize, controlling him with your hands. You licked and swallowed all that you could, overcome with need for him as the man above you came completely undone, swears spilling out of him like a broken dam. Finally you were done and his legs were as weak as yours now. He joined you on the floor, trying to catch his breath as he looked at you with wonder.

“Good boy.” You said, also breathless. He looked at you for another moment in shock, as you struggled to loosen the ties of your dress, sweating in the tight silk. “Where did you learn that?” You smiled softly, shy again reflecting on your actions from only moments ago. “I didn’t learn it from anywhere.” You said easily. “I just wanted to taste you like you tasted me…”

Finally Sandor rolled his eyes at your struggle and picked you up and spun you around on the floor, undoing the laces at your back with ease. You felt his breath on your neck and you tried to slow your own breathing as he pulled your dress down. “I have never…” He started, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. “Thank you..” he settled. Your face raised in surprise and you turned your head to smile at him. You brought your hand up to the unmarred side of his face and held it gently, pressing your forehead against his. “Anna was right… about the look in my eyes. I didn’t want to admit it before.” You turned to him so he would know you were serious. “I love you, Sandor Clegane. I want all of you, all of the time.”

His eyes practically sparkled at your confession, his expression soft. “You don’t have to say it back…” you smiled, reserved in your confession. “I just want you to know it.”

You pulled his face gently into a kiss that you felt encapsulated all your feelings for him and pulled away with a hum. When you opened your eyes and he opened his, you could almost swear you saw tears brewing. You leaned your head against his sweaty chest and listened to his heart beat for a minute. He looked down at you for a while, contemplating what to say. “Come on, princess.” He raised up and left your dress on the floor, pulling you up and carrying you bridal style. You yawned, dropping your head back against his chest. He laid you down gently in bed and crawled to the other side of you. You turned on your side and felt him undo your braid and comb through your hair with his fingers as you closed your eyes contentedly. He may not have said it that night, but you felt more loved by him than ever before.

Unknown to both of you, however, there was an enemy just outside your door. They smiled and retreated into the shadows, wondering exactly how grateful Joffrey would be for the knowledge of this thrilling turn of events.

[starfallforest]

Stop putting 'Too Sweet' by Hozier in your Sylus playlists

I am sorry—this was clickbait. I don’t actually care what you do with your life. But I need you to hear me out for just a second, okay? I am extremely not neurotypical about two things: Love and Deepspace, and Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. And I have seen more than one person in the tags talk about "Too Sweet" by Hozier being a perfect song for Sylus and MC. My only discourse about this is that Too Sweet is a song about a man who makes continuous self-sabotaging life decisions being incompatible with a partner who has her life put together. In my humble opinion, both Sylus and MC are hot messes of people in completely different ways. Anyway, it’s a good song so I don’t blame you for putting it in every playlist ever. In fact, you should. But if you're into this song, I want to show you a couple more pls pls pls 🙏​

I might just be autistic, but both Hozier's music and Love and Deepspace have something extremely important in common… and that’s BEAUTIFUL MEN YEARNING!!!1 And that’s not even to mention the haunting, raw sexuality we can project onto the stories that each of these things feeds to us. That's why I needed to make this post on the 1% chance that someone might hop on this brainrot train with me. So let me present, for just a moment of your time (if you're willing): other Hozier songs that fit Sylus so well I want to combust about it.

De Selby (Parts 1 & 2):

“At last, when all of the world is asleep You take in the blackness of air The likes of a darkness so deep That God—at the start—couldn't bear.” [azlyrics] [gaelic translation]

Imagine just casually writing THE love song that so beautifully says, “Before you were in my life, I kinda understood how God felt before he created the universe.” Excuse me? Andrew just dropped this stanza on us without so much as a cw: fuck you. And if that sickening portrait of gnawing loneliness isn’t enough, we have all the Genesis God references. Since all the LIs in the game are at some point likened to gods or rivaling gods with their power, then add the reverberating instrumentals and chillingly slow vocals in this 2-minute killer, tell me how this song does not fit Sylus. Not only that, but we also have imagery of his lover descending upon him like the night (which is invoked during Part 1 in the Gaelic verse), and I know that’s on the nose for Sylus but come on. I need you guys writing smut to have an orgasm during De Selby (at least Part 2) because it might change ur brain chemistry I'm just saying.

“When you fall on me like night—I wanna kill the lights.” [azlyrics]

This song still rules irt its playing with darkness symbolism, but it also refers to the darkness in the singer’s lover—which in Sylus’ case is MC and we all were there when she shot the guy in the heart like his freaky eye was telling her: “And your heart, love, has such darkness—I feel it in the corners of the room…” my goddddddd stop right there I can’t handle the METAPHORrrr. You think Sylus gives a flying fuck about MC’s frivolous morality bullshit? No he wants her to embrace her own darkness, sit under the blankies with him and cuddle after doing crimes and a beat poetry session. This is some fucking Hannibal Lecter beyond-dark-romance shit. I’m not even trying to write a dissertation here (and yet…)

Talk (from Wasteland, Baby!):

“I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of, That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marveling at God… Imagine being loved by me.” [azlyrics]

Not only does this song utilize insane Greek mythology metaphor and Biblical comparison but the overall meaning of it is, “I want you so bad, I need to speak poetically to hide how down bad I am for you.” That sounds kinda like Old World Sylus and all his pretty nicknames to me.

NFWMB:

“If I was born as a black thorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, Fuel the pyre of your enemies… Ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames?” [azlyrics]

This whole song just some hard, deep and steady yearning for 4 and a half minutes. Are you kidding? The acronym in the title stands for Nothing Fucks With My Baby, which is sung in the chorus like some quietly violent war chant—soft, dark, and powerful. Anyway don’t tell me Mr. Sylus “Give me a list and then go to bed. I’ll take care of it” Loveanddeepspace wouldn’t scorch the earth for the love of his life—or do one better and stand by her side while she scorches the earth herself; here’s the protective/supportive mans anthem you ordered babes.

It Will Come Back:

“I know who I am when I'm alone—I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need.” [azlyrics]

This song has repeated imagery that warns of the dangers of taking care of a feral animal, and then compares the feral animal to the singer as a lover. Like fuck off, that’s sexy and haunted. And we know that not only does Sylus love animals more than people, but he’s pretty animalistic himself if we are to believe that maybe he’s secretly a demon or something.

Arsonist’s Lullaby:

“Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.” [azlyrics]

Remember in Lost Oasis when MC goes on some tangent wondering what Sylus' past was like? Well it was this song. It's about troubled youth and learning to grow in your darkness. Also how cool is that imagery of demons? Hey Sylus, what do you have to say about demons? I'll wait. In the meantime I'm tattooing this shit on my clavicle

BONUS ROUND Through Me:

“Everytime I’d burn through the world, I’d see that the world—it burns through me.”

We got a man and we got some fire allusions so there ya go.

Blood Upon the Snow:

“To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence.”

Blood upon the snow—it's red and white! Red!! And white!!! Also kind of a Sylus x Zayne anthem lbr

Ok I hope you found another song that inspires you to make Sylus art or fanfic with!! And before you ask, yes I've already assigned Hozier songs to every other love interest in the game. Ok thanks for reading!!! 🏃‍♀️​💨​

[dollypopup]

also also- to cut so many intimacy scenes in a season where body positivity was the focus is a slap in the fucking face

The showrunners claiming that love scenes matter less after the couple has gotten together- bullshit. I call fucking bullshit. Because that scene of her riding him at the end of the season could have made up for a LOT of disappointment in the ending. That bed is symbolic. Them being TOGETHER in the bed is symbolic and meaningful and says so much and is such a perfect way to represent they are a unit again. He was on that sofa for so long in part because of a rift between them with Lady Whistledown in the storyline, but also because that was a safe place for him. That was the first place he and Pen had sex as a couple and they were happy and they were in love, and it was difficult for him to leave that.

A scene at the end where she is on top, riding him, and they are on the bed together, signifies his trust in her and them moving together into the future. It is important. And it should have gotten more than just 20 seconds on the screen. Her on top was meaningful, because in the carriage, she is a passive participant to pleasure. On the sofa, she asks him to tell her what to do, and when he says he'll do it all, she demands to be a part of it. And in riding him, she is an active party in the intimacy. He can relinquish the control, trusts her enough to do so, and she trusts him enough to be in the vulnerable position of being on top. A position women who have had concerns about their body in a fatphobic society know all too well. Why cut it so short? Why not truly lean into that?

You cannot pat yourself on the back as a body positivity season to make bank off of your plus size viewers and then cut so many intimacy scenes, Shondaland and Netflix. That's fucked. You cannot profit off of us and then do a half assed job in telling our stories.

Where are the fat writers in the room? The fat editors? To say 'actually, this love scene is important. we should cut something else'. Why is it that we don't get Colin going down on her? It was filmed, why was it cut? Why are there less intimacy scenes between Pen and Colin than there were for Benedict?

How are you going to claim over and over that this is representation, and then do our representation dirty? I would understand in part if it wasn't even filmed, for various reasons. Actors feeling uncomfortable, the scenes being unnecessary to the narrative itself- but they were filmed, and they were VITAL.

Pen and Colin are FROSTY after that Lady Whistledown reveal. To use words from a very hilarious video: he doesn't wanna dip his quill in her inkwell anymore after finding out about the lies. Because for Colin, love and intimacy and trust are all entwined. He can't have angry sex with her because he craves intimacy, not just sensation. To have one without the other isn't fulfilling for him. So they split apart and apart and apart, until they come together again. (pardon the innuendo) Them having sex at the end of the season is supposed to be the sigh of relief the viewers AND the couple get after that angst. It's the payoff. They had distance, and now they are together again. They were apart and now they are one. They are joined.

Where was the payoff?

Nicola talked about the importance of intimacy scenes, that they are not throwaways, that they mean something to the plot, and for them to be scrapped feels like an injustice. An injustice to the people who saw themselves represented in this story, (note: I'm a fat woman, and I'll say, I do NOT feel personally represented, because I'm a size 18/20 and a size 8 lead isn't my representation, but many many people do not feel as I do, and so if you DID see yourself on screen, I'm sorry: you deserved that intimacy montage), an injustice to the narrative, and an injustice to your actors, who put themselves in a very vulnerable position to deliver the most poignant love story they could, who really went for it, and who ended up on the cutting room floor.

Nic and Luke love this pairing, you can TELL they're shippers, you can tell they have so much empathy and adoration for Pen and Colin. They poured their heart into those scenes. To see them cut is a disservice and a disrespect.

We fucking deserved better.

[lovemyromance]

The "we don't know what Elain wants because we don't have her POV" is just an excuse to not have to think about the obvious fact that Elain wants Az and Az wants Elain

Because they got Az's POV and did they listen to what he wants?? He wanted to beg on his knees for a taste of Elain, he admitted to being unable to sleep for a year because he wants her so bad, staring at her tylenol for that whole year like a lovesick teenager, exercising until his body gave out to not lie awake thinking about her, touching himself to the thought of her, QUESTIONING HIS RELIGION over her in front of HL Rhys. And they still didn't simply listen to Az's POV and accept that he wants Elain. Instead they twisted the most blatant and tension-filled confirmation of love interests in the history of sjm into some nonsense that fit THEIR pov, regardless of the authors intent.

They should ask themselves, what is it they want from a POV that would make them accept a character is romantically into another character? And if their answer is there is nothing from Az's POV that could have them accept that he wants elain (which is true, given their reaction to his very straight forward pov), then we know that they are just lying and making up excuses when they say a POV is what they need. We all also know that if that same POV of Az was about Gwyn, they would turn it into their bible. Same if it was Lucien about Elain. They simply don't want Az and Elain together. its so obvious its embarrassing.

They don't need anyone's POV. They have already made up their mind. And what they have made up in their mind doesn't fit with any of the povs we've already read. I'm so tired of their bullshit. And i'm tired of BB and sjm not making an announcement and putting this fandom out of its misery.

Sorry for this rant. Thank you for being a voice of reason.

Yeah we all need to rant about sometimes anon, issok. I've never dealt with this level of stupidity and unwillingness to accept fact - and I literally work in finance, where everyone is crazy basically 😅😅

I think I'm just going to resort to a "We shall see" attitude. Because I'm so tired of reading these people's "analysis" and "interpretations" on non-complex, straightforward text.

Idk why they're focused on discrediting every single Elriel moment. Why they need to write an entire paragraph to explain why Azriel giving Elain truthteller was actually bc he loved Mor. Why Azriel saving Elain from Hybern was because he needed to prove Nesta wrong. Why SJM is actually secretly planning a rejected mating bond trope for LoA & Helion.

They're so obsessed with trying to prove Elriel wrong because they don't have anything for EL/GA. Collectively they have one stale mating bond, a ribbon that's supposed to symbolize an enemy, a vague mention of sunshine, and a spark.

There's only so much you can obsesses over those vague points. Their ships haven't even touched or been alone together more than once. They quite literally don't have anything else in canon to keep them occupied - so then they invent headcanons.

Borderline disturbing ones sometimes, like when they said Elain & Gwyn cherish the cloaks of their "mates" from literally the most traumatic day of their lives.

Then they think their headcanons are actually canon, and they read the books trying to fit their square headcanons into a round canon hole.

It doesn't work, but who cares if it doesn't fit to them? They can distract from that fact by then writing full blown essays on why Elriel DOESN't Work.

Inventing all sorts of "interpretations" to prove their point.

They seem to have forgotten this is fairy smut. It's not complex. It does not require interpretation to understand. They purposefully assign a different meaning to the text because they don't like what it spells out, and decided to call that their own interpretation.

And god forbid you say their interpretation of canon doesn't necessary mean it IS canon. Then they'll send anonymous asks to your inbox telling you you're a slut and a whore and wish for a sinkhole to open up and swallow you, your family, your car, your dog, and your 5th grade teacher.

Then they go on tumblr and post some obvious troll anon they received and blame Elriels saying "how come no Elriel is coming to our aid! see look at this hate we get - these Elriels are behind it and they won't speak up!!"

Never mind the fact that they have all of us blocked when we even bring up the c-word: Canon.

Like sorry, I don't really feel sympathy anymore. It sucks - but y'all made this fandom toxic and we all have to deal with it. They don't even have the common sense to know it's an obvious troll account - they take any opportunity to point fingers at Elriels and say we're acting morally superior and also we're the devil incarnate.

Like I'm sorry but how dumb can you fucking be to not see what is happening here? Instead of ignoring the trolls like Elriels do, they decide to spread more hate in the fandom, accusing Elriels, and then turn around and cry that Elriels aren't rushing to their defense in these "trying times"???

Maybe I don't want to be at your defense. Maybe I'm not acting like I'm morally superior, maybe I just am morally superior. Maybe I don't give a shit about this anymore and maybe I just want to sit here and post about Elriel and wait for the next book.

At this point idc. I've never gone out looking for a fight and they can shit talk me all they want but their toddler interpretations do not interest me and I don't care. Im at the point in time where I'm the disgruntled kindergartner teacher just letting the kids say anything while I pound back a shot of whiskey like Elain (in my Stanley mug) 😂😂

[unionizedwizard]

so i like the meta post a lot but could you give me a lil rundown on what the difference is between metanarrative and metapoetics? the latter is a new word to me and i can infer the gist but i wanna know what specifically you're getting at

oooooooooo hehehehe woooohoooo <- normal about literary theory

so, Poetics is the matter of theorizing about poetry (its rules, aims, effects...) (which implies all the allagan tomestones we've been grinding this whole time are copies of allagan aristotle & cie which i find both very funny and very. foreshadowing-inclined. but anyway). It's literally the english word for "ars poetica"; it is a set of methods and rules meant to direct the writing of poetry. Sort of like a practical textbook with a philosophical setting. Metapoetics would be the question of writing and thinking and theorizing about poetics, and the impulse generally started around the early 20th century (with the russian formalism movement in particular). This is the impulse that eventually led to the creation of structuralism and post-structuralism (Barthes & cie) - as a whole it's a matter of examining the methods and bias and beliefs we hold wrt literature (what Barthes called "the text"), eventually leading to the concept of reception theory for instance.

Nowadays i'm pretty sure that the concept of "metapoetics" encompasses a lot more than poetry, strictly speaking, though each field has its own specific meta- (metadramatics for theater and so on); as long as it's about language itself ("the text"), i think "metapoetics" is a valid concept to invoke (invoking concepts. heh. just like in- okay okay i'll shut up now). Which is a very long-winded way to say that there are subtle differences between metapoetics and metanarrativity because a narrative is not necessarily a text in itself (movies have narratives, tv shows and video games too, and they don't have "a text" in the way that a novel does for example). So, metanarrativity would be the act of a narrative commenting on itself, using dramatic irony, and/or having characters who somehow realize they're in a story. It's a very broad approach.

Metapoetics, on the other hand, would deal more specifically with textual clues. it would be the act of reflecting on the text itself, having the text question its meaning, symbolism, repeat and be modified. In this case, the difference is tenuous at best because the narrative is construed (and understood) as an epic poem, pretty much since the beginning, and particularly in the case of Heavensward; i'd say it's somewhere between a play (Amon's understanding) and an epic or saga (pretty much everyone else's understanding). Which makes the aristotle references in endwalker more meaningful, since aristotle wrote the Poetics about poetry AND theater (the ancients called everything poetry, dramatics were just a subsection of poetry as a whole)

I think the case of ffxiv is ambiguous at best when it comes to assigning a frontier between the motifs and callbacks and dramatic irony that could fall under the "metanarrativity" or "metapoetics" categories specifically because the text itself as well as the overarching narrative are very rich and precise, and feed into each other. Because one of the key aspects of the entire narrative is to put the right words and spin the right narrative (cathartic and awe-inspiring like epic poetry should be) out of real actions. Finding out the truth about the dragonsong war, writing new contracts with the local tribes.... It's always a matter of putting the right words onto everything. if that makes sense? So there's always this aspect of being mindful of speech and remembering it too, that blurs the frontiers of metanarrativity and metapoetics. in my opinion at least

GOD i've been typing for a hundred years and this all reads like mostly bullshit i'm so sorry. I hope it makes sense. like every other literary theory concept tho it's a very flexible and fluid one so mostly it gets used as an analytical lens to examine specific aspects of a text very closely which makes it a bit difficult to "grasp" (in the sense of "grasping at something to keep your balance")

[stat1cdust]

Your pov...

I was in a casino with my brother, Husk as he gambled with some other random demon. He was about to win when all of the sudden he started fading away.

No literally- he was legit disappearing.

"What the fuck-" I said before he was completely gone.

I panicked for a few minutes and ran out into the streets of hell looking for where ever the fuck he might be. I suddenly got a text. It was from my brother

'Hey I'm at the Happy hotel,some asshole I used to work for volunteered me to be a bartender. The adress is (insert random adress) hurry and be careful.'

I sigh and start heading to the adress.

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I arrive at the hotel. I looked up to see the sign 'Happy hotel' at the top.

"Huh not really fitting for hell but oh we-"

Just as I was about to finish that thought I heard something loud behind me. I look up to see a huge flying thing- i don't know what to call it- looks like a ship.

Before I could inspect it closer I felt myself being picked by a giant metal arm. It brought me to the main window where I was met with a snake demon dressed in victorian attire.

"And who are you?!" He asked in an annoying high pitched voice. Sounds like a proper and prim 12 year old boy going through puberty-

Just as I was about to answer I heard a familiar voice behind me

"LET GO OF MY SISTER YOU ASSHOLE"

he threw a beer bottle towards the ship. I look behind me to see my brother Husk and what I assume to be his new co-workers. Before I could register what just happened I hear the snake say

"As~ you wish~" before dropping me.

Soooo you know the phrase cats always land on their feet? Yeah that's bullshit. I panicked and braced for impact but instead of feeling my bones break from hitting the concrete floor I heard a slight 'oof' as I landed in someones arms.(some cheesy y/n moments for yall)

I look up to see a deer demon with a huge smile looking down at me surprised.

"Are you alright dear?" I blushed noticing he was still holding me bridal style.

"Um... yeah- I guess- thanks for catching me by the way!" I smiled up at him

"It was no problem at all!"

His grin grew wider as we kinda just stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"AHEM" we turn to see Husk annoyed at this scene

"If ya would put my fucking sister down and deal with the giant fucking ship in the sky that would be appreciated"

"Why of course my dear husker! Thank you for reminding me!"

He didn't put me down though as to piss off my brother but he did take care of the snake dude. I watched as his smile grew wide and his eyes became distorted. Symbols were floating around him as he was surrounded in static. I looked back at the ship and saw it being engulfed in black tentacles. I bet you can already figure out where my mind went when I saw that-

Finally the ship exploded and the deer demons magic calmed down. I looked up at him with a 'where tf did that come from' face as he just looked down at me with a grin.

I felt myself being snatched from his grasp and put down.

"Hands off my sister bambi reject"

Husk glares at him

"My apologies dear, didn't know Husker here was so protective! I don't believe we've met before. Im Alastor and you are?"

"Oh I'm y/n! Sorry for my brother he's just a grumpy cat" I let out a little laugh as I look to see my brother on the edge of murder.

"No need to apologize for others actions dear! Anyways, who wants some jambalaya!" He casually throws his arm around my shoulder walking me into the hotel as the others followed behind us.

Just before we head inside I see the 'happy hotel' sign turn into 'hazbin hotel'

Huh- more fitting to be honest.

Alastor opened to door letting me in first as well as holding the door open for the others.

I look around the lobby observing my surroundings.

"Would anyone like to help me in the kitchen?" Alastor asked and received excuses from the others. I'm not sure why but they all seemed to want to avoid him and I felt bad so I volunteered.

"Like hell I'm gonna let you be alone with this freak" Husk scolded pulling me away from Alastor.

"Then just come with us dumbass- either way I'm going."

Husk groaned as Alastor just smiled walking me and my brother to the kitchen.

We started working as soon as we got there. I got the ingredients for Alastor, cut them how he asked me to, while Alastor did the rest. My brother however just sat there angrily glaring at Alastor the whole time.

I saw Alastor become more and more uncomfortable as he felt Husk's stare in the back of his head. He leaned towards me whispering

"Is he always like this dear?"

I giggled a bit and joked

"Not really- you must have done something bad I guess"

He simply chuckled

"You haven't been in hell for long have you?"

"Not really, why?"

"To put it simply I'm not the purest soul"

"Well I kinda guessed so with the power I saw you use earlier- I can see why my brother is so against you but to be honest- its hell. What can you expect? And I trust you not to hurt me. I feel like you would've already done it if you really wanted to."

He gave me a small genuine smile as we both went back to work. With Husk still glaring of course.

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You finished making dinner and ate with the rest of the hotel. You were introduced to everyone, husk telling you who to be wary of and asking Charlie to give you a room there so he could make sure you were ok. You went to bed but woke up unable to sleep

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Your pov...

Once again unable to sleep. How fun... I check the time to see it was 1:30AM. I sigh and walk out of my room to walk around the hotel hoping that it would wear me out at some point.

Eventually I came to the library. I saw a light from the cracks of the door and I heard soft music from a radio. Being curious I slowly opened up the door peeking in

"Anyone in here?"

I waited for a response

"Y/n is that you dear?"

I hear a familiar static filled voice call out. I walk in and closed the door behind me

"Yeah it's me, why are you up this late?"

"Well I could ask you the same thing"

Alastor let out a small tired chuckle. I noticed he was holding a book.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to explore the place now what about you?"

"Its nothing for you to worry about, why don't you join me? Seeing as your brother isn't here to glare at me the whole time."

He patted the spot next to him on the couch he was sitting at. I sat next to him. Even though he was trying to hide his eyes I could still see how tired they looked.

I moved my hand up to his face and gently tilted his head so I could see his eyes. I felt him flinch a bit, still holding that smile of course.

"Al you need to sleep you look like you're about to collapse" my voice was laced with worry.

He only looked down at his book again and shook his head. I sigh and get up making him think I was going back to my room. To his surprise I went to a shelf,found and interesting book,and sat back down.

"What are you doing?" He gave me a confused look

"Well you asked me to join you. And I'm sure it gets lonely staying up all night so imma stay up with you!" I smiled at him and he just let out a small chuckle as we both went back to reading.

"You are quite the opposite of your brother dear. Your soul is almost too pure for hell!" Alastor exclaimed

"Yeah- I get that a lot but everyone is here for a reason. Deserved or not a sin is a sin. I'm not an asshole unless I need to be ya know? I try to be as positive as I can be because you won't find it often down here."

"Do you mind sharing what your sin was darling?"

"Maybe one day however I'm not really comfortable telling anybody yet"

"That's alright! Just curious! Do you wanna stay up and read for little bit more before heading back to bed?"

"Sure! Im actually into this book!"

After a while of both of us reading in comfortable silence I felt my eyes closing as my body gave into exhaustion.

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7:30AM..(6 hours later)...

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I woke up... in my bed- how did I get here? Did Alastor carry me or something? I hope he finally got some sleep he looked like he hasn't slept in days.

As I was about to get up I see husk in the doorway looking like an angry dad who caught their child trying to sneak out.

"Oh hey what are you doing here bro?"

"Dont you BrO me- where the hell were you last night?! I went to get something I forgot in here and to my fucking surprise you weren't in your room!"

Well shit- I gotta think of something- uhhhhhhhhhh

"Eheh sorry- I couldn't sleep and I wanted to explore the hotel so I can get to know it better"

"Next time just take sleeping pills or something- I thought something happened when I couldn't find your dumbass"

"I was perfectly safe no need to worry"

"We are literally in hell of course theres a reason to worry"

"Yeah yeah whatever you say now get outta my room"

Husk rolled his eyes and left closing the door behind him. I got up and got ready for the day. I would be helping with some things around the hotel. Maybe I can ask Alastor how I got back into my room last night and if he got any sleep himself.

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The whole day went by normally except for one thing. Every time you tried to talk to Alastor your brother, Husk would immediately find a way to get him away from you. No matter where you were or how hard you tried to sneak Husk would always prevent you from talking to him. Until....

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After a long day of work and being dragged away from Alastor I sat down across from my brother at the bar he was managing. I was practically sulking. I was tired and I wanted to talk to Al without being scolded.

I suddenly felt something appear in my pockets and as soon as husk turned away I looked around and made eye contact with Alastor who was giving me a knowing look.

Not wanting to get caught with the note I excused myself to the restroom.

I leaned against the bathroom wall as I reached into my pocket pulling out a small peice of paper that read.

'My dearest, y/n

Our last meeting was very pleasant without your brother there to drag you around! I wish to do it again so please wait until your brother has gone off to bed and meet me in the library so we may speak without any interruptions.

Sincerely, Alastor'

I smiled and put the note back in my pocket as I walked back to the bar. I turned to see Alastor once again. Our eyes met as I nodded to signal I accepted his invitation.

"What the fuck was that about" husk asked noticing the nod

"Oh it was nothing to worry about"

He just nodded and went back to cleaning out glasses.

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Hours later(12AM)

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I waited and waited til eventually I heard husk yawn and bid me good night before going off to bed asking me when I plan on going too

"Soon probably go get some rest!"

He nodded and went. I waited a few seconds before rushing to the library hoping Alastor wasn't waiting too long.

I stopped infront of the door seeing the light through the cracks just as they were the first time. I pushed open the door carefully as to not startle him.

I looked in and there he was,on the couch, and facing away from me.

I mean- come on- who wasn't gonna take the opportunity.

I smirked and started sneaking up on him planning to scare him a lil or atleast surprise him. Just as I got close.

SNAP!

His neck twisted in an unnatural way to face me, eyes now distorted, and his grin widened.

"AH WHAT THE FU-"

I was cut off by him slapping a hand against my mouth.

"Quiet dear you might wake your brother"

I nodded still slightly startled

"Now calm down dear what did you expect! You startled a demon after all!" He chuckled leading me to the couch to sit next to him.

And for hours we just talked and talked about everything and anything. Trying to keep quiet while doing so but miserably failing as our laughter was too much to hold. Thank god my brother goes into a deep sleep when he's drunk. Turns out he did carry me to my room but he teleported to make it easier. I thanked him of course and told him he didn't have to.

"Why of course I did my dear! What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't!"

Offering that never-ending smile of his. The night of conversation and laughter continued. Just as we were about to call it a night Alastor stopped me.

"I know this may be a strange request- but can we do this every night? I fear with your brother around I will never get to talk to you and you're quite pleasant company to be around. These nights get lonely when sleep isn't an option"

I smiled at him. Of course I was going to say yes. Hes actually quite fun to be around!

"Of course Al! Same time and place?"

He nodded as we bid each other good night and went back to our rooms. Maybe these sleepless nights won't be so hard to go through anymore.

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Soon weeks passed by. Each day you and Alastor ignoring each other for the sake of your brother while each night you and Alastor only grew closer and closer. Sharing stories,jokes,and laughs. Eventually after 3 months of this routine you started to feel something for the radio demon. A feeling you dreaded but enjoyed at the same time. Love... you had fallen in love with one of the most powerful demons in hell. The one guy who has only been known to show one emotion. You were absolutely convinced he didn't feel the same. While you were worrying about your feelings you neglected to notice Husk becoming suspicious of your absence at night.

Husk will sometimes check on you at night due to paranoia. For the past 3 months he hasn't seen you in your room til 3AM or 4AM. So he decided to do something about it...

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.

Husk's pov...

"Im goin to bed... you gonna go soon?" I looked at my sister who was scrolling through her phone at the other side of the bar

"Probably in a little bit I'm not that tired right now " I nodded and went to "bed". In reality I just hid some where awaiting the opportunity to follow her to wherever the hell she's been going at night.

I waited a couple minutes it was now 12AM. I watched as she got up and instead of going up the stairs leading to the rooms she went to another set of stairs leading up to storage rooms and the library. 'What the fuck-' I thought,confused on why the hell she would be going up there.

I snuck behind her easily following her without getting caught. Still hidden, I watched her stop at the library door,open it,step in, then close the door.

'Oh thank satan shes just a fucking nerd'

My thought was immediately followed by an annoying voice muffled through the door.

"There you are dear! I've been waiting for you- is your brother in bed?"

I heard her giggle

"Probably passed out from drinking as always"

My eyes widened as I stood there in shock. Have they been secretly meeting behind my fucking back this whole damn time?!

I peeked through the crack and watched them as they talked about random shit. I was just gonna watch over her just in case and talk to her tomorrow about it.

I zoned out when I saw Alastor get up suddenly, his favorite song on the radio, as he pulled y/n up to dance with him.

Your pov...

I laughed as Alastor pulled me up to dance with him. One of his hands on my waist and the other holding my hand as he spinned me around.

I felt the very obvious blush on my face. I felt my heart racing at his touch. Our dancing slowed down as we looked into each others eyes. I felt his hand leave mine as it traveled to my cheek, cupping my face, and me gladly leaning into his touch.

I felt my heart go even faster as I saw Alastor start to lean in. I stood there for a second in shock as his lips met mine. Eventually I leaned into the kiss, my arms thrown around his neck while his were wrapped around my waist.

We didn't get too into the kiss before we heard the door burst open. We both jumped and pulled away from each other as we looked to the door to see my brother, pissed as can be.

Out of all the people to walk in on us it was my brother. At the worst time too- I mentally groan prepared for an argument.

I felt Husk grab my arm and drag me out the library. Well he tried to atleast before Alastor grabbed me away from him and gave a death glare.

"Relax freak I'm just gonna talk to her. I'll deal with you later" Husk gave the same glare back as I walked over to Husk so we could talk alone.

We walked into another room as I stood there awkwardly waiting for my brother to say something.

"Ok first of all what the hell is goin on between you two and when did it start"

I looked down and answered him

"We started meeting up every night 3 months ago and until today we were nothing more than friends! I didn't know he had feelings towards me til a couple minutes ago! I would've told you if the relationship escalated any further."

"Why did you keep your friendship secret then?"

At that moment my fact immediately went -_-

"Are u serious? Everytime I tried to talk to him you would drag me away"

"Well I had a reason for that! That asshole is the most untrustworthy demon to ever exist! He could've erased you and I wasn't gonna give him the chance."

He sighed before continuing

"Look kid... you're old enough to form your own relationship with whoever the fuck you want. Alastor is a whole other story and while I wanna tear his twizzler looking ass to shreads I can tell you love him. Thats rare to find down here so as long as he doesn't harm you in any way I will tolerate his existence and let you two be together."

I was so happy I was starting to tear up a little bit

"Really????"

"Yeah even when I tried to keep you apart your stubborn ass still found a way around me so no use in trying it anymore"

I immediately tackled my brother into a hug feeling him hug back

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

I was so excited. I immediately ran back to the library where Alastor was pacing back and forth looking nervous.

I literally jumped on to him and hugged him.

He seemed startled before I said

"Oksohusksaidthathewilltolerateyouaslongasyoudonthurtmeinanywayisntthatgreat?!"

"Calm down dear! I couldn't even understand what you said!" He said chuckling as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Before I could repeat Husk came in and dragged Alastor away into another room.

I just stood confused and waited.

Some time later Alastor came rushing in and immediately pulled me into a hug. Ironically I have never seen him so happy before. How big his smile can get always amazes me.

"Let me guess he gave you the talk about how we can be together but if you hurt me he will kill you again?"

He nodded still smiling. He looked like a puppy right now.

"So dear I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now"

He pulled away from the hug and held both of my hands.

"You make me feel something I've never felt before. I'm not quite experienced with love but I would like to learn with you by my side."

I look over to see my brother in the doorway. He gives a small smile and a nod before walking away.

I quickly accept his confession. And after that we spent the night cuddling eventually falling asleep on the couch still holding onto each other.

Bonus

Everyone in the hotel was awake by now. Except for Husk who was already passed out at the bar. Everyone was curious because usually you two are up before them so naturally they went looking for you.

They checked both your rooms and nothing. You two were missing.

Everyone frantically searched for you two until eventually they found you. In the library still holding on tight to the all powerful radio demon who was also asleep and holding you close.

Charlie was fan girling with Nifty over how cute this is

Vaggie was confused as fuck saying

"They dont even talk to each other how the hell-"

Angel found it cute but he was a bit jealous you got his attention before him. He wasn't used to the lack of attention from men

"Woww I throw my best pick up lines and he chooses a gal he doesn't even talk to! What the fuck!"

He throws his arms up with a wtf face

Charlie quickly shushed him and pulls everyone out of the room leaving you and your new lover to sleep in peace.

(I wrote this fic 3 years ago 😭)

[krisp-xyz]

I've really been wanting to build another 40% keyboard and I saw this lil guy and he looks so stupid I love him

I CAN'T GET THIS ANYMORE I'M SO UPSET

also because I always get people asking how the fuck 40% works because there are so few keys, I thought it was weird and gimmicky till I used it and holy shit is it surprisingly efficient. it's definitely a preference thing but like I wanna explain what's so cool about it

ok so like imagine how inefficient it would be if you had dedicated keys for uppercase and lowercase letters, your keyboard would be like twice as big and would be so clunky to use. that's what the shift key is for! it streamlines the typing experience by moving those otherwise hard to reach keys to easy to reach spots. the real question is how far can we take this?

you'd be surprised by how much time is spent just moving you're fingers from one key to another when typing. it takes way longer to do that than like, press the key down, even if you type fast. this makes sense I'm the previous example because it's easy to imagine how a bigger keyboard with more dedicated keys could slow you down in an extreme case, but smaller keyboards tend to really accelerate typing on the opposite end of that, especially when using lots of numbers, symbols, whatever.

when I first got a 40%, I put numbers on a second layer on the top row so I could hold down a key with my thumb to type numbers, but eventually moved it down to the home row which meant I didn't really have to move my fingers at all to type numbers and it was so much faster. throw symbols on the rows above and below on the same layer and I found even symbol-heavy typing like programming to be much faster on smaller keyboards than larger ones

gaming is definitely a weakness where you kinda just want dedicated keys for different things, especially a number row, but generally I greatly prefer 40% now. I've tried going smaller but 30% ended up being a bit too small for me because having more dedicated layer keys made using layers really intuitive compared to some of the bullshit I had to do for a 30%, but I know people who like 30% and the point where keyboards get too small is very much a preference thing but like tiny keyboards are genuinely so efficient it's great

ANYWAY sorry for the keyboard ramble I'll probably post more art at some point I swear jfhjfahdhbkkj

[useless-and-confused]

Ok so it took me a while but I finished the elden ring dlc, I beat the final boss like yesterday, I had to wait to get the dlc but nevermind that, I wanna share my thoughts based also on what I've seen other people post. I really liked I thought it was amazing on how it expanded on the existing lore and introduced things we didn't know about (the hornsent and their society etc.), I do have a few criticisms like I do believe the last boss was bullshit, second phase especially, first phase was fine but nothing special, but second phase omg I hated that shit couldn't see anything and was waaay too overtuned, which is a shame cause all the other major dlc bosses were amazing, rellana and messmer especially. Also about some things I've seen people talk about, I've seen way too many people talk about how it's "lore-breaking" which is ridicolous, like instead of going "oh with the limited information I was presented with I came to the wrong conclusion" going "they made shit up and didn't care" which I'm sorry but that's like so dumb. I've also seen people say that it should've been godwyn and not radhan but like you guys know that the whole thing with godwyn is that he's like real world dead right? there's nothing to bring back, while radhan's soul is in the cycle of the erdtree, also (I saw this on a post that I unfortunately don't remember the op's name, if someone does please link or share it) there's the whole thing with the hornsent worshipping a horned lion and the person being brought back on top of their divine tower is radhan that uses a lion a symbol and has horns because of mohg's body; so acting like radhan is there just for fanservice just proves how little attention you pay to actually important aspects of the world design. With that said I do agree that the base game shouldn't have just deleted all connections between radhan and miquella, fromsoft does exhaggerate with their how cryptict (is that how you spell it??) they are sometimes. Lastly I want to touch on the marika situation, now I like marika, but I like her as an evil character and I see so many people act as if what she did was justified, to put it simply genocide is never justifiable, was hornsent society awful and bigoted? yes; are marika's feelings towards them understandable seeing what they did to shaman village? yes; does this justify destroying their culture, their cities, killing and torturing civilians, hunting down anyone born with horns posthumously and deleting them from history? no absolutely not. I really like marika as an evil, coldhearted, manipulative woman, don't pretend like she's a good person when she's much more enjoyable as she is. So yeah I don't understand why so many people have problems with the dlc honestly, I'd like to hear some more objective opinions on the matter so feel free to interact (also I just woke up so I feel like this is full of spelling mistakes so sorry about that)

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

So, some shit happened a Friday where pretty much, in short terms, like, two of my friend pretty much told me every problem they had with me and my friend group.

It kinds got me pissed off, and what got me mad is when they called me a liar.

So, three years ago is a complete blur. It was a very Traumatic time in my life because I was in inconsistent consistent contact with my abuser and just my mental health was just ass. My mind pretty much blocked out that entire school year except for theater, and even that's a blur.

So apparently, I remembered something wrong, and when shit came up abt it, I talked about how I remembered it. And when I said that year was a blur, one of my friends asked why I would forget something so important. Cuz my brain blocked it out, but anyways.

What really pissed me off is the fact that I'm not seeing one of them til the end of summer, and that day was her last day. It's the fact that they did it on her last day. It's the fact that she chose to end on that note with me.

And when it came to my friends, they mentioned how my crush, who's a close friend of mine, was walking all over me and lacked respect for me. It made me mad because they don't see our complete dynamic fr.

And afterwards, they act like nothing happened.

Nah, fuck that shit.

I'm a bad person with bad thoughts and some may consider insane ideals and morals, so I have to put on some kind of mask just so people don't see me for how I truly am, and so I don't fucking get carried away and lose myself and fall back down into a spiral. But, that single interact is causing causing cracks. I'm terrified on the fact I'm gonna lose everything just because of some bullshit. I hate it when my groups mixed, so I keep y'all separate. Sorry if you feel left out, but that's just how I am. This why I hate having a lot of friends, someone is always upset! Not everyone can be happy, I'm sorry. But I don't know what you want me to do. It's a pre-etablished groul you're entering on and I don't know what you want me to do. I have separate friends for a reason, and you just don't fit and I'm sorry for that. Would I be upset if I were you? Yes, I've been in your spot before. But, that's why I always leave and either be on my own and go to my own group. Not everyone can be included, including me, and I'm sorry for that, but I don't know what you want me to do.

You tell me every problem you have with one of my friends, I'm sorry that happened and I'm sorry you feel that way, but I don't know what you want me to do or say to him. He ain't gonna listen to me

I know I defend my friends for some crazy shit, but you don't know what they symbolize for me. Am I wrong for that? Most likely, yeah.

I'm actually tweaking out, I'm sorry. But cracks are starting form and I feel like I'm going crazy. And don't just ask me if I'm OK since I'm being quiet after y'all just said everything wrong with me. You chose to end on that note with me.

I'm a immortal, jealous, apathetic, two faced lunatic who lacks a single sense of self or self worth. You know this.

[legobatman08]

listen the fuck up, i think (HOPE) all of yall are antifa on here, but for WHATEVER REASON, the only time y'all care about fascism is when it happens in countries you know a lot about. I'm tired of the only political shit discussed being America or some fucking western European country.

there's a very prominent neo-nazi party in georgia (WHICH MY CLASSMATE IS A PART OF????), with extreme conservative and puritan views. see the armbands and the flag in the back? that's the georgian neo-nazi symbol. don't ask me why the faces are blurred, my source for this is the nazi classmate himself, and he blurred it.

brief summary of how this sorry excuse of an organization formed: they broke into a nightclub because "DANCING IS SINFUL", destroyed the club obviously, beat up everyone who was there (girls, guys, university students, bartenders, EVERYONE). where was the police, you may ask? one of them was drunk and JOINED these shitheads, the rest showed up hours later for "unrelated reasons" and pretended none of it happened. you'll see that cops doing jack shit will become a reoccurring theme in this post. this all branches from the extreme upholding of "orthodox christian values" - they're doing all this in "God's name", AND THE CHURCH SUPPORTS IT. obviously, fascism in Georgia existed even before these fucking cunts, but they're growing stronger and recruiting more people these days.

SO, WHAT PROMPTED ME TO MAKE THIS POST? these days, they've gotten more physically aggressive. here are some examples:

they asked a random guy in the streets about his opinion on fascism, when he said he doesn't like it (FUCKING OBVIOUSLY), they beat him up (the police did JACK SHIT and pretended that the part security cameras glitched out WHEN THE NAZIS LITERALLY FILMED A VIDEO OF THEM DOING IT)

they killed a dog and kept beating it after death, and they beat up cats in the street (they filmed these as a video too)

they beat up the leader of a governmental organization Girchi, which is the most progressive party we have right now (with anti-governmental, anti-russian, and antifa anarchistic ideologies)

the Girchi leader was supposed to hold a lecture about politics for kids and uni students at a summer camp thing, and the nazis ATTACKED THE CAMPSITE AND THREW STONES AT PEOPLE.

update on the first one: an armed man in civilian clothes entered his HOSPITAL ROOM, some women tried to stop him, TURNS OUT HE WAS A COP, AND NOW THE POLICE IS PRESSING CHARGES FOR "ATTACKING A POLICE OFFICER"??????

1 - They didn't know he was a cop, 2 - they didn't even attack him just tried to stop him from going to the kid's bed because he was a threat, 3 - HOW THE FUCK ELSE WOULD YOU REACT IF A STRANGER WITH A GUN ENTERED YOUR KID'S HOSPITAL ROOM AND TRIED TO GO NEAR HIM?????

anyways, this shit is scary. the nazi party is recruiting minors, like my classmate, so that if they ever get arrested, the minors will have to be released because OBVIOUSLY nobody's gonna HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD ROT IN PRISON. even if they were all adults, as i mentioned, the police don't care, because they're doing this in the name of Christianity. they're posting xenophobic, homophobic, conservative and very christian nazi bullshit so that they can make people believe that they want what's best for people, BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THE MAJORITY OF GEORGIA SHARES THOSE IDEOLOGIES. their name is literally "Geo National Unity" TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY'RE DOING THIS TO "HELP" US. EVEN IF THEIR IDEAS WERE MORALLY CORRECT, WHY THE FUCK AREN'T THEY BEHIND BARS FOR WHAT THEY'RE DOING??

i know I'm not the most coherent source of information, i know this just looks like a stupid rant, but this information isn't accessible in English, which means NOBODY OTHER THAN US GEORGIANS KNOWS WHATS GOING ON. the later this shit stops, the more fascists there'll be in Georgia, because no one wants to put a stop to this. cops are fucking pigs, as always.

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS. I'M TIRED OF SEEING SWASTIKA GRAFFITI ON WALLS AND SCHOOL DESKS. I'M SICK OF FEELING THREATENED JUST BECAUSE I'M OPENLY ANTI-NAZI AND SOMEWHAT OPENLY QUEER. I'M SICK OF RELIGION BEING AN EXCUSE FOR THESE FUCKING DEGENERATES. NOBODYS DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I'm sorry for getting fucking emotional on a post that's supposed to be informational, but SOMEONE had to fucking say it. progressive people in non-western countries are in fucking hell, because nobody acknowledges any problems in places that doesn't concern them. anyways please fucking reblog this, for awareness and for help and what-fucking-ever. thank you for reading.

[doctorweebmd]

i wanted to ask u basically everything from the fanfic ask game but hopefully these aren’t too many:

🤡, 🦅, 🧠(tenko!), 🎉, ✅

RANI AHHH I LOVE YOU THANK YOU YOU'RE SO GOOD TO MEEEf

Of course i wrote too much i'm sorry lmaoooooo

🤡 - oh definitely! i think all my best jokes are in 'my brother's keeper.' My fave it probably this groupchat from chapter 4:

SharkWeek🦈: afjakljdfalkdjsflasl;dfajsldf;jaldfjasl;df SharkWeek🦈: you have to be fucking kidding me, man Spidey🕸️: this is the plot of every porn ever Spidey🕸️: on Thanksgiving, turkey isn’t the only thing that’s gonna get stuffed Spidey🕸️: on Christmas, the present won’t be the only package he’s opening Spidey🕸️: birthday? Surprise its more dick  Pikachu⚡: YOUR EX IS YOUR STEPBROTHER Pikachu⚡: bitch you nasty Bakuhoe💥: who the fuck changed my name in this groupchat Bakuhoe💥: this shit ISNT FUNNY Bakuhoe💥: and he’s not my ex – he’s just a fuck buddy from high school SharkWeek🦈: dude, you know that you’ve drunkenly fucking recited poetry about the guy? SharkWeek🦈: this is us you’re talking to SharkWeek🦈: Mr. World’s Most Perfect Ass and Softest Lips and Makes My Heart Explode SharkWeek🦈: don’t make me send you the video again bro Spidey 🕸️: does Perfect Ass know you still dig him? Bakuhoe💥: are you fucking insane?! Bakuhoe💥: the fuck went and got a girlfriend Bakuhoe💥: he’s my STEP BROTHER Pikachu⚡: bakuboy Pikachu⚡: don’t be a bakubitch Pikachu⚡: rail your brother like a MAN

AND this scene from chapter 18:

“Uh… thank you for having me here.” Izuku says politely, shaking off the previous comment. “Yeah, dude! We’ve been psyched! We even put you on the calendar!” The exuberant blonde points to the refrigerator, and, against his better judgement, Izuku follows the man’s finger. Izuku turns to the refrigerator, where a sexy fireman calendar is held up by a Pikachu magnet. Mr. March has an 8 pack and is lounging with low slung pants and suspenders on a red truck. Well, there’s that, but there’s a cutout of Kacchan’s face, grimacing, taped over the actual fireman’s face. Today the date is circled, followed, in big words “Brother gang bang today!” “G…gang bang? Do… I’m….” Izuku’s face automatically flushes bright red, and be can’t stop the stammer from leaking out, to Kaminari’s amusement. He turns to Katsuki, eyes wide.

'rail your brother like a MAN' still plays on my head on repeat. Oh Denki Kaminari you will always be my favorite clown.

🦅 - i kind of both outline AND fly by the seat of my pants. my outlines are REALLY bare bones but i do write down a general 'storyline' prior to starting a new longfic. now how to make it all WORK..... thats all just bullshitting lmao. like my outline could be 'here they defeat the villain in a cool way.' Nice. How the FUCK am i gonna do that smh. people who come up with whole actual outlines prior to writing are my heroes.

🧠(tenko!) - lol the now-cannon headcannon that he got his Quirk from All-for-One? 👀 well... i think he might have actually become a hero, if what happened to him didn't happen to him (i mean...other than the fact that he was likely quirkless.) while i love loser-boy greasy gamer head-canons, Tenko is charismatic, an excellent leader, and highly motivated. he just needed the opportunity. if a hero had found him that day... if somebody helped him... just think of the way tenko was. he was a sweet, caring kid, who played with boys that no one else wanted to play with, that was emotional and sensitive, that was called all might because he was so nice and heroic. all might is a symbol of his lost opportunity to be a hero. all might is the representation of the life he never had. but what if all might had found him? reached out to him? rage in itself is not an 'evil' quality. tenko can be angry AND righteous. even now we see that, in the end, he wanted to be a hero, even if it was for the 'villains.' he's so good. he's SO GOOD. HOW DARE HYOU MAKE ME ANSWER THIS RIGHT NOW AHHJhdjfaldjfljsadklfasldkfj (i'm crying. tenko. tenko please.)

🎉 - oooof. this is a hard one. i'd actually really like to hear your thoughts about what you'd consider success for a fic, because your stuff is a LOT more popular than mine. my opinion on this has changed in the last few years. obviously your goal-posts change depending on how 'popular' something of yours previously was. especially after switching from comedy to angst writing, as well as switching to an extremely large fandom (bkdk) to a medium fandom (sskk.) just like a lot of other people i had fallen into the ratio of kudos:views, the comments per chapter and 'subscription' tunnels. as well as comparing myself to other fics in the fandom. its very embarrassing and self-involved but i think we're all victims to this. right now, what i consider success (for long fics) is that: people want to keep reading it. that the same people show up in the comments. it makes me feel like the story is worth following. but the ultimate marker of success (to me) is someone saying they were inspired by the writing. in whatever way. to write their own stuff. to draw. to play music. to think about their own life/situation. to try something new. (someone commented the other day that battle of the bands inspired them to get nipple piercings?! not really what i was going for but YEAHHHHHHHHH.) ANYTHING. because that's what its all about, right? connecting with one another and inspiring one another through art, whatever that art may be. even if its anime-boy porn. whatever.

✅ - something that appears in my fics over and over again, even if i don't mean it to? hmmm... i reuse a lot of metaphors. stomach/heart jumping/twisting like its in the olympics is the one that comes to mind. i use a lot of richard siken poetry unfortunately lmao both in its raw form and the vibes from it. i often re-read parts of 'Crush' when i want to write a really emotional scene. the other things people told me i do a lot is write REALLY descriptive, graphic sex (not like... rough or anything. i'm just very descriptive. i think its probably because of my medical background/anatomy knowledge but. yeah.) and that i love doing cliffhangers. lol. lmao even.

EEEE rani thank you for sending this 🥺 you're honestly the best. i'm sorry for ranting i hope you dont regret it i love you forever

[vinylvenom]

Kobra jogged over to the counter, putting his ray gun on charge. He always felt unsettled after any kind of conflict, especially a clap. As he moved, his rosary beads fell out of his pocket. Poison picked them up.

“Mikey.” they said.

“What?” Kobra’s reply was harsh, as if his city name had came out of the mouth of someone other than his sibling. It stung.

Poison handed him back the rosary, each wooden bead intricately carved with a rose. “You dropped it. I know you'd be upset if you lost it, but I can't work out why you kept a symbol of a god you never had faith in."

“It belonged to our grandma. Why wouldn’t I?"

When thier grandmother had passed, Poison's misery had been palpable. They'd shut themself in thier room for days on end, not opening the curtains, only leaving at night to drink and stumble home in the morning, woozy. Kobra had thought of all people, Poison would understand.

She was just as special to you as she was to me, Gerard.” Kobra noticed that Poison didn’t react to thier city name at all.

Just because you never had faith, doesn't mean I was the same, Kobra thought.

“Don’t lie to me like that. I’ve seen you praying.” Poison replied.

“Bullshit.” Kobra snapped back.

Poison frowned at him. They never yelled at Kobra, and that was maybe what pissed him off the most. Despite the whole killjoy thing, they were still ever-peaceful Gerard, preferring to talk things out rather than fight about them.

Partly, Kobra hated himself, for how angry, how defensive he was towards everything. Years of bullying in the city, the oppressive regime of it all and then years of scraping together something resembling survival had done this to him. No matter how much his sibling or his friends had tried to help, he still felt bitter about it. He didn't trust anything, but faith was what kept him going. He just wanted to believe in something.

Poison walked out of the room, quietly, sensing that thier younger brother was upset. They thought about staying, but decided for now giving him space would be the best solution.

Kobra tried to distract himself, but his thoughts were incessant. He felt so alone. Almost as lonely as he had when he'd stay behind when his sibling had gone out with thier older, cooler friends. He hated feeling this way, so cut-off from everything that brought him joy. He barely noticed it happening, but he started to cry soundlessly.

Poison walked back through the room, looking for the charger for thier ray gun. They had The Girl in tow, who was babbling to them about something excitedly but stopped when she entered the room, looking dead straight at Kobra. She tipped her head to the side, a strange, learned little mannerism, and tapped Poison on the shoulder, gesturing towards Kobra.

Poison briskly walked towards Kobra and The Girl, quick as ever, sprinted to Kobra and hugged him - her small arms wrapping around as much as him as she could. Poison sat next to Kobra, and leaned over to hug him, too.

“Mikey…” they began quietly.

Kobra sobbed. "G, I- Does this make me weak? Am I not good enough because I can't keep my emotions in check?

The Girl offered Kobra a small and soft, yellow, vaugely bear-shaped stuffed animal from her dungaree pocket. Kobra took it, ruffled her hair in appreciation and hugged it close.

Poison replied almost instantaneously. “No. Feeling is what seperates us from Better Living, where emotion is a symptom of the human condition that they ultimately want to break. You’re clearly hurting and I’m sorry that you feel this way. I'm here for you and I'll always care because you’re my brother, and I love you.”

Kobra sat in silence for a moment and then replied. “…I love you too.”

[avonsdrabbles]

Hi! I seem to have rambled on to your blog

Weird question! How did you get into (if you ever did) examining and taking apart literature?

For us it's Merlin BBC cuz nothing new has come out for it in over a decade. It's 5 seasons long but at some point you just run out of content but yk, still wanting to talk about it we started drawing on narrative themes picking apart and inspecting the dialogue to figure out each character's intention. I'm glad to say it held up really well

& we're asking people whom have interacted with the degree that forces literature upon you how they started cuz it's interesting

On ask? On my main? It's more likely than you'd think--

Anyways, hi, love the snakes, love the planet, love the ask! It's unsurprisingly a little complicated for me, so bear with me.

I knew I liked English in middle school, but that wasn't dissecting text, that was writing. But that's where a love for language formed, and I started writing more and more. Back then, tho, I HATED dissecting literature, because it felt so pointless. "What did the author mean by this?" I don't know, I can't ask them, Margie! Ugh.

But then, I had the worst English teacher in my entire life in high school. She was, simply put, batshit. She rambled on and on about how fairies were going to take her soul and stole kids things, how cameras were the work of the devil and could also take your soul, how English would heal people's souls...

Really obsessed with souls ngl. Bit weird.

Anyways -- she was god awful. And she changed the curriculum multiple times so we could read what she wanted. The year I was supposed to read Romeo and Juliet, we read Midsummer Nights Dream instead. And by god, everything this woman said pissed me the fuck off. SHE FOCUSED ON THE IMABS? IMABIC PENTAMETERS???? I'm sorry, woman, can we discuss the puns here?! Can we discuss the authorial context of Shakespeare making this play within a play something commoners could enjoy while mocking nobility and the scandals at play, while (sorry, foaming at the mouth in rage and lust over literature).

Needless to say, I dove straight in. I'm one of the lucky ones who could understand Shakespeare without trying. It didn't take any energy on my part to parse the iambs, and I found a lot of beauty in the poetic nature of it all.

The next year, I was ready to fight, but I promptly had the best English teacher of my entire life, the one who taught me more about teaching than anyone else, and who I cite as the reason I became an English teacher. And she really fucking opened my eyes to the intricacies of subjectiveness in English. See, I'm a very stubborn person, and I'm very my-way-or-the-highway. I used to be very mathmatically inclined because there's only one right answer. Sure, you can get that answer a lot of different ways, but only one thing is right. English frustrated me because it seemed like I could say any fucking bullshit and have someone nod and say "Profound."

This is the teacher that taught me that's a feature, not a bug.

Through a little something called Waiting For Godot.

It is, by far, the worst play I've read. It's also my favorite. What sort of 10th grader gets to read an analysis of God that features pet play BDSM? THIS one. (This was also outside of the standard curriculum, but it was the end of the year, so all bets were off I guess).

This was the play where we dove in, read it, and without any discussion of the play, had to write an essay about the theme the author was presenting. All of us felt so lost. The symbolism didn't make any sense. There seemed to be no theme, beyond maybe "Waiting for someone who will never come is painful."

And then, the day before we had to write the essay... We had a substitute, following her lesson plans, and he was one of my favorite SEIAs (special ed instructional assistants). He was the exact same level of batshit as I am.

He SLAMMED his hand on the whiteboard, stared at us as we looked back in shock, and screamed, "ABORTION." He then went into a 40 minute diatribe about how the author of the text was very clearly explaining pro-life VS pro-choice mentality, leaning pro-life, but conversely making a pro-choice argument through the use of the discussion of Christian free will. He used sources. He used text evidence. By the end of the talk, all of us were nodding, clapping, acknowledging that he HAD to be correct!

And he stopped, stared at us, and laughed. "That was all bullshit."

He'd pulled it all out of his ass. And it made perfect sense to us all.

That's when I figured out that literature is what YOU make of it. Literature is all about interpretation; sure, there's tropes to follow that help guide our interpretations, but at the end of the day, words mean whatever you think they mean.

THAT'S what got me into lit analysis.

(And, oddly, homestuck)

[k0k0-library]

Something about the spirit animals ain't sitting right with me

Ok, so. Something's been awfully wrong about the brother's spirit animals and I can't seem to be able to put it into words actually. Sorry if it doesn't make sense and it's rude. I am literally writing this deciding if should sleep or think about retribution....

Lucifer's peacock gives me the ich. I mean, ok, sure, fine. He's the avatar of pride and stuff... but a peacock? Should I remind you that if you pluck this lil fuckers tail it dies? (I didn't actually know that when small but oh well. poor little birds). And plus, it's not even the symbol of any solemn type of bullshit. No, it's the type of pride you take on when you try to impress "ya grill".

Mammon and crows... maybe I can accept it since his personality revolves around loyalty but also stealing shiny stuff... but idk. It feels really weird that he gets to be compared with a crow. Yes, he can be surprisingly smart, as shown in his Devilgram cards. But maybe a cat could fit better. The elements of pure chaos and mischief are missing from the crow.

Leviathans... a snake. Ok, letting aside that actually in the bibble the snake is not portraited by envy, but by misleading intents and better truth; a snake....? you mean his first pet? It's like Mickey the Mouse having Ploto the dog as a pet... while he has a dog as his best friend too. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into things, maybe.

Satan's unicorn. that's it; that's all.

Asmodeus... scorpions... no. Fun fact, some species of scorpions can be pregnant from 12 months up to 20 something- anyway. What's so bombastic about scorpions? Their venom. And I get the slight intel about Asmo's love spells being like poison sometimes, but maybe an animal more related to his personality... or maybe his birthday (literally the same date as Anne Boleyn's death penalty). How about a Fleischmann's Glass Frog. Yes, a frog. But HAvE yOU seEn THosE lil' PeePErs?!!! Plus, he always said he wants to find cuteness in anything. so frog.

Beelzebub and flies.... ok, his demonic representation is literally the king fly, but we ain't seeing Riden Shogun as one, do we now?! (I bet they'll be besties. Always protecting their twin, desert~, and oh course, mourning the death of their sibling...). But maybe Fly is a bit too impersonal for Beel and his activeness... his personality. golden retriever golden retriever golden retriever.

Belphegor and cow. Cows aren't lazy. Cows also have best friends. And cows don't kill people with trap hugs! Let's give this guy the snake instead of Levi. Like, a constrictor snake. Sqeezin' the life outta you.

[starsarefire824]

oh my god the new chapter was SO. GOOD!!!! SO GOOD!!! the tension was so insane! it was like the breaking point of everything!!

while reading i picked up on a few lines and details that had me absolutely losing it. like the (…) “it’s not fair for you to just confuse me like this.” (…) “I confuse you?” He scoffs. “That’s rich, Will. You’re the most confusing person I’ve ever met.” IMMEDIATELY i was reminded of that scene with mike and max back in lover’s lake when they were arguing and mike was trying to apologize. plus the, “Max spots El with Will, rubbing his back and their heads bent close together as they wander off in the opposite direction. Max wants to go with her, but she can’t move.

She looks to Mike and follows him.”

oh my gosh op!! the symbolism of mike and max always choosing each other even in the faces of their supposed lovers is driving me crazy. like there’s a string that constantly pulls them to each other, like you can literally feel it tugging at max standing there, you can feel it tugging at mike with will. it’s so good. you do such an excellent job at making these characters so complex and dimensional that it’s hard to hate them or stay mad because you can feel what they’re feeling and you empathize with all of them. seriously if i was mike i would feel so torn apart.

theres also something so cathartic about watching mike and will fight openly about their relationship in front of all their friends. like usually in fics i get so used to seeing them have to hide hide hide and keep everything a secret from the others, leaving them confused and having to piece things together. but the unabashed screaming and raw display of emotions is so surprising.

anyways i’m sorry for the long ask!! i just really loved this chapter. hope you’re taking care of yourself :)

hey, thank you so much for this!!! 🥺🥺

i'm so glad you liked the new chapter!!! It was A LOT! haha. It's awesome you felt the tension, and I have to agree with you! It is kind of refreshing, even to write! to have Will and Mike have a very open and kind of volatile fight. Their emotions were so raw here, and it was different and fun to write. Usually there is a lot of secret, and for good reason I guess, and sure there is something fun about that too! but because of the dynamics of the party in this fic, it's kinda neat when everything is out in the open between them, so really, all of the individual members can be themselves in front of each other.

And you're right!!! I think there are a lot of parallels between max/mike and will/mike in this and Will is a person, like Max, that isn't afraid to call Mike on his bullshit. Lucas does it too, especially if it's hurting El or Will, but as far as regarding themselves, and the way Mike treats them because he's scared of facing himself, Mike and Max are similar in that way.

I'm actually planning a Max/Will chapter for one of the final chapters because I think seeing those two interact without Mike around would be super intriguing!!

YES! I love that there is this unsaid loyalty or like, the way their tied to each other, that is pulling Max and Mike in towards each other, even when maybe they don't want it, or especially, in times of distress. They seek each other out. In this fic, there is something deep and pulling that they are slowly coming around to putting a name to. And even in that, their connection is so different from what Max has with El and Lucas. And what Mike has with Mike. It's different, but not any less important. And it's complicated and i love writing all that kind of shit.

I'm glad you find the characters interesting and still like them even when they're making bad decisions! I love delving into the "why" people are the way they are, and so it's been fun to imagine up this "what if" scenario and explore some new dynamics in the party that I haven't before!

Anyway, thanks for the ask! <33333 means a lot to me that you're enjoying it!