#I'm so tired; I just want to go to sleep and not wake up; it's gnawing and clawing and it's such an ugly feeling qwq

[spiderb00]

- I SEE THROUGH YOU, M.S

"when things get a little too much, megan will always be there to catch you. Just as you always catch her"

warnings - fluff, and a bit of angst. Panic attack, megan is a sweetie, reader has anxiety (reader is me :/)

now playing - Vulnerable, by Dhruv

"baby, i'm falling into pieces in front of you."

The room was dark, bathed only by the moonlight that crept in like an intruder through the blinds. The humidifier Megan had bought a few days ago worked very well, almost like a relief from the hot Los Angeles nights. Your girlfriend's arm was comfortably draped over your stomach, and Megan's breathing was calm as she lay on your chest. 

Everything seemed like the perfect setting for a great night's sleep. But that wasn't what was happening to you tonight. 

You weren't sure when it all started, but when you and Megan lay down, ready to talk about what happened during the day until you fell asleep, you couldn't close your eyes like your girlfriend did. 

Everything you hadn't thought about for days, months, probably years, all those thoughts were now terrifying you, keeping your eyes open, preventing you from enjoying Megan's body pressed against yours. 

The whirlwind of thoughts was just the beginning. Unable to sleep as you really wanted to, your anxiety began to spread throughout your body. Now, Megan's cozy body felt heavy on top of you, your clothes seemed to slowly suffocate you, slowly cutting off your breath, and your whole body felt tingly. 

Breathing heavily, you moved, carefully removing Megan's body from yours. Quickly grabbing a pillow, you placed it comfortably in Megan's arms, replacing your warm body as you took quick, hurried steps to the bathroom. 

You didn't even bother to lock the door, crouching down behind it, hugging your knees and trying to control your breathing. Suddenly, that position was no longer comfortable, the hoodie seemed to be stuck to your skin, and with just one pull you removed it from your body. 

Sitting completely on the floor, your ears couldn't even pick up the knocking on the door, and when Megan turned the doorknob, all she could see was her girlfriend sitting on the floor, tears in your eyes as you appeared to be having a panic attack. 

"Bub..." The girl quickly knelt in front of you. "Hey, hey, look at me!" 

Gently cupping your face, Megan caught a glimpse of your red cheeks and teary eyes. The moonlight did a great job of exposing all your fragility. 

"Breathe with me." 

You looked at your girlfriend's collarbone, trying to mimic the speed at which her chest rose and fell. Having Megan's hands on your face still seemed to overwhelm you, so you gently grabbed her hands with yours.  

"It's okay, I'm here." 

Gradually, your breathing synchronized with the Chinese girl's, beginning to stabilize. Megan's face looked slightly relieved, but the hint of concern was still etched on her face. 

"Did you get overwhelmed during your sleep, babe?" She asked calmly. 

"I couldn't sleep." Exhaling deeply, you replied, placing Megan's hands on your chest. "Everything felt so suffocating, like I was going to die." 

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Raising her hand, Megan reached for the sink beside you, turning on the tap just to wet her hand. 

"You were so tired when you got home, I didn't want to bother you." Her wet hand caressed your hair and forehead, making you sigh with relief. 

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Her lips found your forehead, kissing it gently, as if you would break if she pressed any harder. 

"No, I just don't want to sleep in the same position we were sleeping in..." You said in a whisper. "Does that make sense?" 

"Of course it does!" Megan's hand found yours, pulling you and leading you to the bedroom. "How about we sleep with our feet at the head of the bed? Do you think that would help?" 

Your girlfriend's understanding smile made you melt. You had always helped Megan with her anxiety, but you had never been one to share your vulnerable side. You knew the girl already had too many problems to deal with, but you couldn't help admitting that being cared for by her filled your heart with love.  

Grabbing the sides of Megan's face, you left a kiss on the pink-haired girl's lips, taking her by surprise. Sighing, Megan melted immediately, resting her hands on your bare waist. Her hands were warm, and for a moment, you thought you could stay there forever. 

"I love you," you said, moving slightly away from the girl. 

"I love you," Megan pulled you, lying down with you.  

Looking at the ceiling, the shorter girl quickly sat up on the mattress, taking off your shirt—which she wore to sleep—remembering how uncomfortable you would probably be with the fabric if you wanted to hug her.  

Lying down again, Megan grabbed your index finger, knowing that you liked contact, even when your brain wanted to reject it at all costs. She learned that grabbing your finger, without intertwining your hands, was one of the ways you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. 

But Megan's surprise came when you took the lead, intertwining your fingers with hers.  

"I think I'm starting to feel better." Looking at her, you smiled. "Thank you." 

"Please don't be afraid to be vulnerable with me, bub." 

The girl's words hit you deep in your chest. Knowing full well how you used to pretend to be tough in front of others.  

"Never." 

another short fic for you guys. i'm working on a longer, so i'll probably just send you these random thoughts that pop into my head :)

this fic is entirely based on me :/ sometimes i really have problems to sleep, and it actually happens to me. i wanted to write this not only for the idea, but in case someone can relate, idk. It's not a good thing, but it happens more than it should.

if you suffer from anxiety or anything else that disturbs your mental health, please look for a professional and take care of yourself, mental health is a serious subject, and it's not something to be put aside.

one of the things that also inspired me to write this was a video a few months ago of Megan, where she talked about mental health, and I thought “Man, this is confirmation that I have to write that fic!”

anyway, stay safe, drink water and take care of your mental health!

xoxo, spider.

[hanniebaeee]

Delicate - 2

Felix x fem!reader

Warnings: nothing much

Genre: angst, fluff

Summary: Hyunjin has a crush on you. His feelings have become especially strong after you climbed the walls of the frat house to meet your bratty boyfriend, Felix. Who is unfortunately, Hyunjin's best friend.

Part 1 - Delicate

a/n: Something from the drafts, because I'm too tired to write something new. Have a happy and peaceful weekend everyone 🫶

Something was terribly wrong.

You just knew it. Because the Hyunjin you knew - cocky and insufferable (but adorable, of course) one? He was completely gone. Like gone. Vanished.

And in his place was this version of Hyunjin who flinched so hard when Jennie, the very girl, with whom he has had way too many hook ups, merely touched his damn arm. Jennie had only wanted to give him a cookie. Now she looked absolutely miffed and embarrassed.

Hyunjin didn't say anything. Just kept brooding and eating all the snacks looking absolutely miserable.

Felix on the other hand was oblivious because all his attention was on you. It was his idea really - this trip - the beautiful cabin on the mountain. He wanted to make it up to you for going on a strike and not talking to you for three whole days before you took things into your hands.

But Felix and Hyunjin were a packaged deal, and you were ok with that. Jennie offered to come for moral support (and Hyunjin). And so yeah - the four of you in a nice cosy cabin, surrounded by pine trees and fog. Very romantic.

Felix was feeling you up under the blanket, keeping a straight face as he made small talk with the others. And you were trying to enjoy it, except your eyes betrayed you every time, peeking at Hyunjin who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

Hyunjin had a secret. A secret no one knew about. A secret he's been guarding for a while now.

He had a crush on you. Well, not a crush exactly - because he was almost 99.75% sure that he was in love with you. Especially after he saw the way you climbed up a rickety old building (risking your life, according to him) for your boyfriend. Yeah, no one has ever done something like that for him.

He tried so hard to keep those feelings buried deep inside him. He kept his distance, tried to be normal, but it was so hard when you were watching him like a hawk.

Especially so because his eyes kept flicking to you and Felix. It was torture, watching you glow in someone else’s arms, and he hated himself for it.

---

Later that night:

It was past midnight, and you couldn't sleep at all. Tossing and turning for hours now, you gave up. You got off the bed, careful not to wake Felix, and slipped out of the room quietly.

The living room was dim as you walked in, the fire reduced to glowing embers. Hyunjin was sprawled on the couch, one arm slung over his face, his long legs dangling over the armrest. Your heart twisted - you knew for sure that he was hurting.

You approached quietly, sinking onto the couch beside him.

“Jinnie?” Your voice was soft, tentative. “You awake?”

He stirred, lowering his arm, his dark eyes meeting yours. They were unguarded, and your breath caught.

“Yeah,” he muttered, sitting up slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed water,” you lied, tucking your legs under you. “But I saw you and… what’s going on, Hyunjin? You’ve been off all night.”

He laughed, a hollow sound, running a hand through his dark hair.

“I’m fine. Just… tired. Long day.” He was deflecting.

You frowned, scooting closer as you said, “Don’t do that. You don't sulk like this. Talk to me.” Your voice was gentle but firm, your concern for him overriding everything else.

He looked away, jaw tight, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his sweater.

“It’s nothing. Really. Just… Jennie’s a lot, you know? I don't really like her like that…you know -”

You weren’t buying it. Because Jennie wasn't any different from before. He's always been ok with her. There was something deeper here, and you could feel it crackling in the air between you.

“Hyunjin,” you said, your voice softer now, “I’m worried about you. You know you can talk to me right?”

His eyes flicked to yours, and for a moment, he looked like he might crack open, spill everything. But then he shook his head, forcing a smirk. “You’re too sweet, you know that? I’m good, promise.”

You sighed, reaching out to place your hand over his.

“I’m serious. You’re my friend, and I hate seeing you like this.” Your touch was meant to be comforting, but the second your fingers brushed his, something shifted. Hyunjin took in a deep breath, freezing for a moment before his fingers closed around yours, gripping tight, like he was afraid you’d slip away.

“Hyunjin…” you started, but the words died as he lifted your hand, resting his forehead against it. And then you felt his lips pressing softly against your knuckles. His mouth was warm, his breath shaky, and he held your hand there, eyes squeezed shut like he was savoring it - or bracing himself.

Your pulse raced, shock flooding your system. This wasn’t friendly. This was… something else.

“Jinnie, what -” Your voice trembled, as you stared at him, your mind reeling. Oh please, no. Not Hyunjin. Not Felix’s best friend.

The weight of it hit you like an avalanche - his lingering looks, his tension around Jennie, the way he’d watched you with Felix. But it couldn’t be. But the way he was holding your hand said otherwise.

He opened his eyes, and they were glassy, filled with a mix of longing and guilt.

“I’m so sorry!” he gasped, dropping your hand like it had burned him. “I didn’t mean to… I just…”

You swallowed hard, unable to process this.

“Y/N, I'm so sorry, please don't… I swear I'll stay away-” he rambled on with fear in his eyes.

“No,” You said, finding your voice with great effort. “Jinnie, I don't know -”

You really didn't know what to say. He let out a sad bitter laugh. “I…I’m the problem.”

“Are you ok?” You forced yourself to ask, and he shook his head, slowly. “No.”

The single word hung between you, heavy with everything he wasn’t saying. You didn’t know what you were supposed to say, only that this was obviously a mess, and that you loved Felix with everything you had.

Hyunjin leaned back, putting distance between you both, but his eyes stayed locked on yours. “You should go back to him.”

You nodded, standing on shaky legs, but your heart squeezed painfully. You wanted to hug him, to fix him, but you knew touching him again would only make it worse. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? Just… get some rest.”

He didn’t respond, just watched as you turned and walked back to the bedroom. You slid under the covers, curling into Felix’s warmth, but your mind was back with Hyunjin, replaying the moment his lips touched your knuckles - trying to wrap your head around the truth he hadn’t spoken but you’d felt all the same.

The next morning you woke up to the warmth of the sunlight streaming in through the windows. But you’d barely slept - everytime you closed your eyes, you saw him. Not because you loved him like that. Nope. But he was one of your best friends, you adored him. And it hurt to see him so vulnerable and not knowing how to help.

Felix, blissfully unaware, pressed lazy kisses on the back of your neck, mumbling a ‘good morning’ and a promise of pancakes, his warmth anchoring you even as your heart churned.

Now, the four of you were gathered in the kitchen, Felix making you those pancakes. Jennie was velcroed to Hyunjin’s side as he tried to pour coffee, babbling about how cute he looked in flannel pajamas. Hyunjin’s face was a masterclass in barely concealed misery, his jaw tight, his eyes screaming 'send help’.

You glanced at your friend, feeling sorry for her. Jennie was sweet, but her oblivious obsession with Hyunjin was painful to watch - especially knowing that he was drowning in it. And Hyunjin looked like he’d rather be mauled by a bear than endure another second of her cooing.

Hyunjin’s hand froze mid-pour at something Jennie said (that sounded suspiciously like ‘couple spa’). The coffee splashed onto the counter and Hyunjin quickly put the put down and reached for some paper towels, dabbing the coffee with them. His eyes met you, a fleeting plea, and something in you snapped.

Before you could stop yourself, you swooped in, inserting yourself between them like a human shield.

“Jen, did you see the view outside? It’s, like, insane with all the snow!” you blurted, your voice a touch too loud. You grabbed her arm, gently but firmly tugging her toward the window. “Come look!”

Jennie laughed, completely missing the rescue mission you’d just executed.

“Oh my God, you’re right, it’s so pretty!” she squealed, bouncing over to the glass.

Hyunjin exhaled, his shoulders sagging with relief. He gave you a gentle nod, which you returned, but that moment was cut short as your eyes fell on Felix.

He was watching with a curious look on his face. His head tilted, one brow raised, his freckled face sporting a look that said, What was that about?

He was leaning against the counter, a spatula in one hand, his gaze was pinning you in place, and guilt prickled your skin. You moved fast, practically diving across the kitchen to him.

“Babe, those pancakes smell unreal,” you said, slid your arms around his neck. He grinned, an arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“Trying to distract me, love?” he teased, his voice low, that Aussie drawl making your toes curl. His thumb brushed under the hem of your sweater, and he leaned in, lips grazing your ear. “What’s with the hero act, hm?”

Your heart skipped, but you played it off, laughing as you looped your arms tighter around him.

“Just saving Jennie from embarrassing herself,” you whispered, hoping it sounded convincing. “She’s… a lot this morning.”

Felix chuckled, but his eyes flicked to Hyunjin, who was now rinsing his coffee mug with the focus of a man trying to build a spaceship.

“Mm-hm,” Felix hummed, not entirely sold but too smitten to press it. He kissed your jaw, then your lips, slow and sweet.

You melted into him, relief flooding you as his warmth grounded you.

“I love you,” you murmured, meaning it, even as Hyunjin’s presence burned at the edge of your vision.

---

As the day went on, Jennie was literally unstoppable. You all were on a hike through the snowy trails, and Jennie was at it again, linking arms with Hyunjin and gushing about how “romantic” the forest was. Hyunjin looked like he was plotting to sacrifice himself to the wolves at this point, his steps slowing like he was physically resisting her touch.

You sighed, stepping closer to Jennie, pointing at a random tree.

“Jen, look at that! Is that a pine or a fir? You’re good at this stuff, right?” It was nonsense, but it worked - Jennie lit up, dancing over to take a look and explaining to you why it was likely a pine.

Felix noticed again, his sharp eyes flicking from you to Hyunjin as you all trudged back to the cabin. He wasn’t jealous - Felix was too secure when it came to you and Hyunjin. His love for you both was as solid as the mountains around you. But he was confused, and that was worse.

---

The final straw was watching Jennie trying so hard to get Hyunjin to go with her to the spa, and Hyunjin literally faking a stomach ache. Jennie pouted and stomped her feet, but then decided to treat herself to the resort’s lavender massage.

But the second the door clicked shut, the air in the cabin shifted. Felix’s easygoing vibe vanished, replaced by a laser-focused intensity that made your stomach knot.

He herded you and Hyunjin into the kitchen, the rustic space - wooden counters and the snowy view through the window did nothing to calm the storm that was brewing. Felix leaned against the counter, arms crossed, his freckled face set in a rare serious mode. His flannel was rolled up to his elbows, and even in crisis, you couldn’t help noticing how stupidly hot he looked.

Focus, damn it.

“Right,” Felix started, his accent sharp. “What the fuck is going on?” His eyes flicked between you and Hyunjin, who was gripping a dish towel like it was his lifeline. “You two have been weird all day. Dancing around Jennie, the sneaky looks - so, spill.”

Your heart plummeted. Hyunjin’s eyes widened, and for a split second, you both froze, like deer caught in headlights. Then, chaos erupted.

“It’s not what you think!” you blurted, just as Hyunjin stammered, “I didn’t mean for it to happen!”

Your words collided, a jumbled mess, and you both kept going, talking over each other.

“I was just trying to help him because Jennie’s been insane -” you said, waving your hands.

“I swear I didn't mean to -” Hyunjin cut in, his voice pitching higher.

“ - and last night he was so upset, when I saw him sleeping on the sofa, but it wasn’t like that -”

“- I fucked up, okay, but I wasn’t trying to make a move -”

“- he’s your best friend, I’d never do that to you -”

“- it’s my fault, not hers, she was just being nice!”

Felix’s mouth fell open, his eyes darting between you like he was watching a ping-pong match. He held up a hand, but you were too deep in the panic spiral to stop.

“I didn’t know how to tell you -” you said, at the same time Hyunjin groaned, “I tried to keep it together, but -”

“ENOUGH!” Felix finally shouted, his voice cutting through the noise. You and Hyunjin froze mid-sentence, you with your hands in the air, Hyunjin clutching the dish towel to his chest.

Felix’s eyes zeroed in on Hyunjin, narrowing. “Hyune. What. Did. You. Do?”

Hyunjin swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I… might’ve… caught feelings,” he mumbled, so quiet it was barely audible. But it was enough.

Felix’s jaw dropped. “HYUNJIN! YOU WHAT?!” He stepped forward, pointing an accusing finger. “Y/N?! SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU ASSHOLE!”

“I DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE!” Hyunjin yelled back, throwing the dish towel onto the counter like it was a grenade. “You think I wanted to fall for her? She’s your girl, I know that! I’ve been trying to deal with it, but Jennie’s driving me up the wall, and she -” He gestured wildly at you, “- keeps being so damn perfect, and I fucked up, okay? I didn't mean to kiss her hand last night, ok, and I shouldn’t have, but -”

“Hyunjin, stop -” You flailed as he went on with his panic induced verbal diarrhea.

“You KISSED her hand?!” Felix’s voice hit a pitch you didn’t know he could reach, his hands flying to his hair. He turned to you, eyes wide. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t know how!” you said, your voice cracking. “It was just my knuckles, and I was shocked, and I love you, Felix, you know that! I was just worried about him because he was a mess, and Jennie’s been so clingy, and I didn’t want to make it worse!”

Felix blinked, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“So, let me get this straight,” he said, rubbing his temples. “My best mate’s in love with my girlfriend, you’re playing superhero to keep Jennie off him, and nobody thought to just say something?”

Hyunjin groaned, slumping against the counter.

“It’s not like I was gonna do anything about it. I know she’s yours. I’m not that guy.”

“Then why the hand-kissing, huh?” Felix shot back, but there was a glint in his eye now, like he was teetering between pissed and finding this absurdly funny. “What’s next, writing her poetry? Serenading her outside the bedroom window?”

“It was a moment of weakness!” Hyunjin said, throwing his hands up. “I was emotional, she was there, and her hands are really soft, okay?”

You choked, torn between mortification and laughter. “Hyunjin, stop talking!”

Felix turned to you, his expression a mix of exasperation and amusement. “And you! Why didn’t you tell me my best friend was having a crisis over you?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you!” you said, stepping closer to him, your voice softening. “And I didn’t think it was a big deal at first. I just wanted to help him. I love you, Felix. You’re my everything.”

Felix’s face softened, but he still looked like he was processing the world’s dumbest plot twist. He sighed, pulling you into his arms, his chin resting on your head. “I know you do, love. But this -” He gestured vaguely at Hyunjin, who was now staring at the floor like it might swallow him whole, “- is a mess.”

“No shit,” Hyunjin muttered, rubbing his face. “I’m sorry, Lix. I didn’t want this to blow up. I was gonna deal with it quietly, but being here, and everything… it fucked with my head.”

Felix snorted, his anger deflating into something closer to disbelief. “You’re lucky you’re my best mate, or I’d be throwing you into the snow right now.” He tightened his hold on you, his lips brushing your temple. “And you, stop being so damn heroic. You’re too cute for your own good.”

You laughed, the tension breaking like a dam. “I’m sorry, babe. I just… I saw him suffering.”

“Yeah, well, he’s gonna suffer more if he pulls that hand-kissing shit again,” Felix said, shooting Hyunjin a mock glare. Hyunjin raised his hands in surrender.

Hyunjin cleared his throat, his voice low. “I’ll back off. I promise. I just… need some time to sort myself out.”

Felix nodded, his expression softening. “Take all the time you need, mate. Just…talk to me, yeah?”

Hyunjin managed a weak smile. “Deal.”

“So… what do we do about this Jennie situation?” Felix asked, and Hyunjin sighed, because he knew what was the right thing to do.

The resort had such a beautiful restaurant. But dinner had been a stressful event. And right after dessert, you and Felix had slipped away, giving Hyunjin and Jennie some space.

Well, the restaurant’s cozy ambiance was about to be obliterated. Hyunjin had steeled himself, the words coming out haltingly but firm: “Jennie, you're one of my closest friends and you are an amazing person. I know you like me. I am honored, really…but… I don’t feel the same way, and I can’t keep pretending. I’m so sorry.”

Jennie froze, her eyes wide, the candlelight flickering across her beautiful stunned face. For one blissful second, Hyunjin thought she might take it gracefully. Then her expression crumpled, and she stormed out, her heels clicking furiously against the wooden floor. Hyunjin cursed under his breath, chasing after her, knowing this was about to go from bad to catastrophic.

Outside, you and Felix were still tangled in a kiss, your back pressed against a pine tree. His lips were moving down your neck, his hands starting to wander -

“YOU!” Jennie’s shriek sliced through the night like a siren. You and Felix broke apart, startled, as she barreled toward you, her eyes blazing with betrayal. Before you could process, her hands grabbed the front of your dress, yanking you forward with surprising strength.

“Jennie, what the -” you yelped, stumbling as Felix instinctively stepped in front of you, his hands on Jennie’s wrists, trying to gently pry her off.

“You stole him!” Jennie screamed, her voice echoing off the snowy pines. “Hyunjin loved me, we were good, and you stole him, you sneaky little -”

“Whoa, whoa, hold up!” you shouted, your own temper flaring as you tried to wrench your dress free. “I didn’t steal anyone! What are you talking about?”

Hyunjin skidded to a stop behind Jennie, his face a mix of panic and guilt. “Jennie, stop! This isn’t her fault!” he yelled, grabbing her shoulders to pull her back, but she was a whirlwind, her hands still clawing at your dress.

“You think I didn’t see you?” Jennie snapped, her voice shrill as she glared at you. “All the those times you just came in between us, batting your eyes at him, acting all sweet while I was trying to make this work! He was mine!”

“I didn’t bat my eyes!” you shot back, your voice rising over hers. “I was trying to help him because you were suffocating him! He doesn’t -”

“Don’t you dare say it!” she screeched, tugging harder, and a seam in your dress made an ominous ripping sound. Felix’s eyes widened, and he doubled down, his voice firm but calm.

“Jennie, let go of her now,” Felix said, his deep voice cutting through the chaos as he finally pulled her hands off you. “This is not how we sort this out.”

Hyunjin was still behind Jennie, his hands on her shoulders, trying to steer her away.

“Jennie, listen to me,” he pleaded. “I told you, it’s not her. It’s me. I don’t feel the same way, and I should’ve been honest sooner. I’m sorry, but this has nothing to do with her!”

Jennie wasn’t hearing it. She was a tornado of hurt and fury, her voice overlapping with yours as you both shouted over each other.

“You’re lying!” she yelled. “She’s been throwing herself at you, and you fell for it!”

“I love Felix!” you shouted, pointing at your boyfriend, who was now holding Jennie at arm’s length like she was a feral cat. “I don’t want Hyunjin! I was just being a friend!”

Felix, caught in the middle, looked like he was regretting every life choice that led to this moment.

“Can everyone just chill for a second?” he yelled, his voice carrying over the shouting. “Jennie, you’re out of line. Hyunjin, back me up here!”

“I’m trying!” Hyunjin snapped, finally pulling Jennie back a few steps, though she was still flailing, her eyes locked on you like you were the villain in her story. “Jennie, I swear, it’s not her fault. I don’t love you. I never did. I tried to go with it, but I can’t force it.”

That stopped her cold. Her struggling slowed, her face crumbling as the words sank in. The air went still. You stood there, your dress slightly torn, your chest heaving, Felix’s hands protectively around your waist. Hyunjin’s hands dropped from Jennie’s shoulders, looking guilty.

Jennie’s eyes filled with tears, and she took a shaky step back. “You… you really don’t like me?” she whispered, her voice breaking.

Hyunjin shook his head, his voice soft but firm. “I’m sorry, Jennie. I don’t. You deserve someone who does.”

She stared at him, then at you, then back at him, her lip trembling. For a moment, you thought she might scream again, but instead, she turned and stumbled toward the cabin. Hyunjin hesitated, then started after her, but Felix held up a hand.

“Let her go, mate,” Felix said quietly. “She needs space.”

Hyunjin nodded, his shoulders sagging. You sighed, your heart a tangled mess, and leaned into Felix, who held you tightly against his chest, his lips brushing your forehead.

“You okay, love?” he murmured, his voice warm despite the chaos. “Your dress took a beating.”

You laughed, shaky but genuine, glancing at the ripped seam. “Yeah, well... She thought I stole him? Me?”

“She’s hurt. People say dumb shit when they’re hurt.” Felix glanced at Hyunjin, who was staring at the snow like it held the answers to the universe. “You good, Hyune?”

Hyunjin exhaled, his breath visible in the cold air. “No. But I will be.”

Felix squeezed your hand, his lips quirking into a smile. “C’mon, love. Let’s get you inside before you freeze.” He shot Hyunjin a look, half-teasing, half-warning. “And you - stay out of trouble for five minutes, yeah?”

Hyunjin managed a weak smile. “No promises.”

The cabin was quiet, the aftermath of Jennie’s restaurant meltdown hanging like smoke in the air. Felix had guided you back inside, his hand warm as he told you that you did nothing wrong. But your mind was on Jennie - her tears, her wild accusations. You couldn’t let it fester.

Slipping away from Felix, who was now sprawled on the couch with a beer, you headed to Jennie’s room. You knocked softly and pushed the door open.

Jennie was on the bed, legs crossed, texting furiously. No tears, no sobs, just her manicured nails flying over her phone screen. She glanced up, her eyes dry but tired, and sighed. “Is that dress ruined beyond repair?”

You blinked, caught off guard by her casual tone. You glanced down at the torn seam, the fabric gaping where she’d grabbed you.

“Kinda,” you said, shrugging. “Might need a miracle.”

She patted the bed beside her, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Sit.”

You hesitated, then sank onto the mattress, the plush bedding sinking under you. The room was a mirror of yours - furry blankets, a window framing the snowy mountains - but the vibe was all Jennie: scattered makeup and a half-empty wine glass.

“I texted Jay,” she said, not looking up from her phone. “He’s coming to pick me up.”

You stared at her, your brain short-circuiting. Jay? Her on and off fling from back home?

“Wait, what? You’re leaving?” you asked, genuinely surprised.

Jennie set her phone down, finally meeting your eyes. She looked… fine. Annoyingly fine.

“Don’t do that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “That blank stare thing. What should I do, mope about someone who doesn’t want me?”

You opened your mouth, then closed it, floored by her resilience.

“No, no, you shouldn’t,” you said, shaking your head. “But… I mean, you were so upset. I thought -”

“Yeah, I was,” she admitted, leaning back against the headboard. “I liked Hyunjin. A lot. But I’m not an idiot. I knew he didn’t feel the same. I saw the way he looked at you.” She paused, her voice softening. “He never looked at me like that. Not once.”

Your heart sank as you said, “Jennie, I didn’t -”

“I know,” she cut you off, waving a hand. “You didn’t do anything. You’re all wrapped up in Felix - you guys are too perfect. But Hyunjin… I thought maybe if I tried hard enough, I could save him from the heartbreak. You know, keep him distracted. But he’s too far gone for you.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. That was Jennie - always three steps ahead, already plotting her next move while you were still reeling.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “I didn’t mean to make things messy. I was just trying to help him, not… lead him on.”

Jennie snorted, a spark of her usual fire returning.

“Oh, please. You didn’t lead him on. You’re just you, and apparently that’s enough to make guys fall apart.” She smirked, but there was no malice in it. “Hyunjin isn't my first rodeo, and he won’t be my last. Jay’s got a Jeep and a cute smile, so I’m good.”

You laughed, despite yourself, the tension easing. “You’re… something else, Jen.”

“Damn right,” she said, winking. She picked up her phone again, her fingers hovering over the screen. “I’m leaving tonight. No point dragging this out. But you -” she pointed at you, “- better figure out what’s going on with your little love triangle. Felix is chill, but Hyunjin’s not.”

You groaned, flopping back onto the bed. “Don’t remind me. Please.”

“Ahhh to be loved by all the perfect men,” Jennie said, her tone teasing but kind. She reached over, squeezing your hand briefly. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t let Felix catch you playing hero for Hyunjin again.”

You chuckled, the weight of the day lifting slightly. Jennie was already moving on, her heart bruised but not broken, her sights set on the next adventure. That was Jennie - somehow always landing on her feet.

---

Jennie was packing her bags in her room, her usual whirlwind energy slightly subdued but not gone, while you, Felix, and Hyunjin lingered in the living room, the silence heavy.

The rumble of a Jeep outside broke the tension. Jennie emerged from her room, her suitcase in tow, her face a carefully constructed mask of nonchalance. She’d swapped her dress for a cozy sweater and jeans, but she looked as flawless as ever. Classic Jennie.

She stopped in front of you, her eyes softening. She let go of her suitcase to pull you into a tight hug. “I’m really sorry about ripping your dress. I was… a lot.”

You hugged her back, surprised by the lump in your throat. “It’s okay, Jen. It’s just a dress. You sure you’re alright?”

She pulled back, flashing a wry smile. “I’ll live.”

Her tone was light, but her eyes betrayed a flicker of hurt. She turned to Felix, who stood to meet her, his freckled grin warm. She hugged him, her arms lingering a beat too long.

“Take care of them, okay? They’re trouble monkeys.”

Felix chuckled, squeezing her back. “Don’t I know it. Safe travels, Jen.”

Then came Hyunjin. Jennie stepped toward him, and he just looked defeated. She studied him for a moment, then pulled him into a hug, her voice dropping to a soft, affectionate tone. “You’re so sweet, Hyunjin. But such an idiot.”

Hyunjin let out a shaky laugh, his arms wrapping around her briefly. “I’m sorry, Jennie. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She pulled back, poking his chest. “Yeah, well, next time, don’t try to force something that’s not there. You deserve better than that. So do I.” Her words were kind but pointed, and you saw the crack in her armor - the hurt she was hiding behind her bravado. Jennie was tougher than she let on, but she wasn’t bulletproof.

With one last wave, she grabbed her suitcase and headed out to Jay’s Jeep, her silhouette disappearing into the snowy night.

Three of you stood in silence for a moment, before you eyed Felix and he nodded before putting an arm around Hyunjin.

“How about a movie, just the two of us?” he asked, steering Hyunjin towards the kitchen to grab beers.

“What? No no, please you planned this trip to spend time with her -”

“I'm sure she'll survive one night without sex.” Felix said with a grin, and you swat him on the head like he was a fly.

“Jinnie, I swear I need some peace and quiet tonight. So please, you're doing me a favor.” you said, grabbing your own snacks and drink and heading towards the bedroom.

“Are you sure?” He wasn't convinced.

“Yeahhh, goodnight boys!”

Felix dragged him off to the sofa.

“Come onnnn, what are we watching?”

Divider: @saradika-graphics

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @hwangjoanna @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic @emilyywhyy @inlovewithstraykids @my-neurodivergent-world @nightmarenyxx @channie4lifeee143127 @lezleeferguson-120 @silly250 @pansexual-and-eating-pancakes @sammhisphere @soona-huh @princesskrystix @thecutiepieme

[itstheghostofmypast]

Matrimony

Husband Non-Idol Choi Jongho x (F)Reader

Summary: It wasn't uncommon for couples to fight, no matter how compatible they were. Since the day you met, you were human after all, but perhaps the two of you were also flawed. One of you was hormonal, while the other was being too considerate.

Genre: Hurt+Comfort

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None

Word Count:1.6K

Est.Read Time: 8 min

Networks: @k-labels

Song Rec: Love Me Not

A/N: I was supposed to post something else, but this had to come out of the system first- I'm on my period okay.

Did couples argue? Yes. Was it normal for you and your husband to argue? Of course it was; even after years of being together, married, and becoming parents to the angels sleeping in their room at this very moment, it was very normal for the two of you to argue. What was not normal, the argument to linger for more than a day? No. In this case, a week.

It started over something small, something petty; he had left something on the floor, and you had asked him to pick it up. He was tired after work, and you were exhausted after a half-day at work, then dealing with your children; neither of you was in a pleasant mood. So, naturally, he had grumbled something under his breath, but you had heard it, causing you to turn to him and ask him to repeat, which the grizzly bear chose not to do for a good five minutes until he heard you scoff, “That's what I thought. “

Maybe he was petty, maybe you were petty- maybe both of you were tired, sleep deprived and just never knew when to shut up, especially when he had said it with his chest puffed out, eyes all wide and a scowl enough to have one of your children cry if they were to see their father like this, 

“I said, you're their mother, not mine, act like a wife and not a dictator.”

That was all it took for everything to turn into a mess, from raised voices to slamming doors to sleeping in a different bed, where you had opted to sleep on the small bed of your daughter, because your boys were already snuggled together on their car-shaped bed. That night you had hugged your daughter tighter than ever, silently crying yourself to sleep, somewhat assured at the thought that much like usual, you'd wake up in your own bed in the morning, because your lovely husband would carry you to bed in the middle of the night like he would often do after an argument- though that never happened, you had woken up with an aching back and a bitter mood, before going about your routine.

That happened a week ago. For the past week, your husband had been avoiding you- of course, he'd drag this on! Petty bastard, can't BELIEVE YOU MARRIED HIM JUST BECAUSE HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU. He’d get up earlier than you and leave, come late in the night, when you were snuggling with Ji-ae, who, much like her brothers, was clueless about what was happening. You had no idea what he was eating either,  usually if he was late, you'd leave a plate out for him, but not for the past week, not….because you didn't want to…but because you expected for him to come home on time, you hoped for him to come home on time for dinner, you…wanted him to come home on time and have dinner with you all.

The two of you had never fought like this; a day or two was normal, but completely ignoring each other wasn't part of the mix. You needed him in your life, he was the father of your children, he was your lover, he was your friend who'd you would vent out to during heavy nights, much like this one, where'd you be balling your eyes out because of work, general stress and of course, that once a month time where your hormones were a mess, especially when you realized that you were out of pads, and it was 1 am. Maybe that would explain why you were clutching onto a cushion and crying on the sofa, the TV's sounds doing nothing to mute the sobs that wracked through your aching body.

Amidst your breakdown, your husband had arrived, opening the door with his foot as he hands were occupied, carrying whatever he could think of buying, including a bouquet- well the bouquet was an over reach, but he had impulsively picked it up from the cash counter when he was going over the things you needed, other than the sanitary napkins he knew you had run out of. Any day your shark week would start and knowing you-

He froze at the horrifying sound of your heart breaking sobs, before sprinting into action. Jongho ran into the living room, dropping the bags and bouquet on the coffee table as he gripped your shoulders, trying to pull you up from the way you were hunching over and crying into the cushion.

“What!? What happened?”

Your eyes met his panicked gaze and the sight of his worried face, the warmth of his touch and the concern in his soothing voice had the floodgates open, causing him to go in full blown panic mode, hugging you as you hiccupped with each sob, clinging onto his stupid coat as you cried your heart out to him.

Jongho genuinely didn't know what to do. He couldn't figure out what had happened - did he cause this? He had been trying to give you space all week; he'd even come to see you at night, tucking you in with Ji-ae and making sure you were comfortable.  He'd made sure to do the dishes when he'd have breakfast and when he’d have dinner at night, but he did miss you…he missed eating with his family, he missed talking with you- but he knew you needed space after the nonsense he had spat back like a moron. What he could not understand right now was how to solve this.  He knew you were starting your period soon, if there's one thing he knew about the ‘knowing your woman's every move agenda’, the only way to do this was to keep track of her cycle- and that's how you wife them up, son.

Perhaps this was just a rush of emotions, he concluded once you began to calm down, hugging him, pressing your face against his neck as your husband stood on his knees between your legs, letting you cling onto him, risking getting his pants wrinkled if that meant keeping you happy and restoring the balance in this house.

With one last sniffle you pulled back, with a pink nose and puffy eyes, rubbing them furiously as he pulled your hands away, “Can we please talk about this? I nearly had a heart attack- why were you crying like that?” He began mumbling as he got up and sat down beside you, before cupping your face to gently turn you to face him, “I'm sorry about what I said, I was being stupid- did I hurt you that bad?”

You felt another set of tears at the brim of your lashes at the sight of his stupidly handsome face, his warm eyes,  causing you to close your eyes and shake your head and mumble, “N-no, I just…you…ignored me-” you paused at the unfamiliar scent of roses, turning your head when he let go to look at the bouquet on the coffee table and a few grocery bags beside it, “What is this?”

He actually wanted to talk about how he wasn't ignoring you but when you side tracked he had to respond to that instead, “I…knew it'll be that time of the month soon, we didn't stock up the start of the month so…yeah…oh and the roses just…wanted to get you some.” He watched you go through the contents of the bag, from sanitary napkins to chocolates to a new heating pad. How did he know that yours was broken? You didn't tell him that one of the boys stepped on the controller- you turned to look at him as he gave you a small smile, “Jun isn't good at keeping secrets, he told me the same night I came from work.”

You nodded before mumbling, “Let's eat.” as you got up, going to reheat his meal as he followed you like a lost puppy, hugging you from the back as he rested his forehead against your shoulder and you felt his grip tighten, a shaky breath leaving him as he sniffed, grateful that it was over, work was shitty enough, he didn't need his pillar of strength and love crumbling away- he'd just go mad then.

He clung onto you when you took his plate out of the microwave, only to pat his head gently, “Dinner, Jjong.” 

Jongho sat down and started eating once you had settled beside him with your own giant chocolate bar in hand, placing it on the table to get up and get a cup of tea as your sweet, baby, cutie, adorable, husband was eating quietly, as you began talking too, normalcy setting between the two of you once more, listening to you as you opened the cupboard, “I think I'll have to hide these chocolates, you spoil me so much, but the three demons we've birthed can sniff these out from a mile away!” You exasperated, closing the cupboard and pouring the boiling water in the mug, “Both Jin and Jun have no self control and Ji-ae can coerce them into doing anything, I don't even know where they get it from,” you sighed as you grabbed the mug and walked back to the dining table and sat down with a sigh, reaching for your chocolate bar, “I swear neither of us are like tha-” Your hand slapped against the empty plastic wrapping as you slowly looked up from the table to the man who was staring at you with the same “I am guilty but I don't really regret my decision” look that your kids give you, “Choi Jongho…”

“I um…don't worry they're more of them.”

“I…hate…you.”

“I love you too!” He declared before tackling you in a hug, ignoring the way you were trying to fight him off you, ready to smack him for eating your treat- THE NERVE OF THIS BARBARIC MAN YOU TRULY LOVED AND ADMIRED.

[heartstillmissing]

I think it's normal and a lot of trans girls experience that kind of desire, but I think it's normal in a way that says: "I've been stretched too thin for too long and I need to rest." but also, some people are just... like that. In the same way that there are people who want the opposite, like me. I've always wanted to just... take care of someone. Wake up before they do, kiss them on the forehead and giggle softly to myself as I watch them fuss in their sleep. Then go to the kitchen and start making a nice breakfast, because I love making breakfast. I want to hold someone while they sit on my lap and we watch shows or movies or read or just... look out the window at nature. I want to be so desired that just watching me do things is enough to re-energize them. I want to share my time, my voice, my love, my smile, my dreams, my hobbies, my little idiosyncrasies and have all of them celebrated as part of me. Not as reasons why I'm selfish, annoying, too much, or not enough... I want to be valued for who I am not how well I can fit in the box that they demand I fit into. And no, I don't say any of this flirtatiously. I'm not just trying to be the person you said you wanted. I've had to do that for far too long already. I'm so goddamn tired... Tired of doing everything I can to be someone who still isn't good enough. Tired of being the one who gives everything for nothing in return. Not tired of giving. That's at the core of my being. I'm tired of being taken from. Sorry, this turned into way more than I meant it to be. tl;dr: Yeah, it's normal. For a lot of transfems, too. But it's more than that, and you're allowed to want it. There are others who want to give that kind of life.

Is this normal for a trans girl?

Don't know why but as of late I've felt this need to be petted, praised, and collared like the shameless little disaster I am.

I want to be owned by a funny, charming trans girl who’ll tug me into her lap, scratch behind my ears, and call me her good girl until I’m a puddle of bliss.

And gods, I desperately need her to stream every single game I’m obsessed with but too exhausted to play myself—narrating every silly side quest, pausing to rant about lore, and cackling at her own jokes so I can just curl up and live vicariously through her chaos.

Honestly?

That’s the only way I’ll ever finish half these games—and the only way I’ll ever feel this soft, this loved, this perfectly sapphic.

[patri56001]

I'm in a wholesome mood and a little angst so swiftie Jason Todd!

Jason hasn't visited the manor in a while, he has visited Alfie, he's not a monster, and talked to his siblings on the phone, but he got into a petty argument with Bruce again, he doesn't remember about what, but he is still right. So he is sulking in one of his safe houses, listening to Taylor Swift's new rerecording, Speak Now TV, when "Never grow up" starts to play and he wants to skip it, but the lyrics are hitting him a little too close. And he is remembering his life, what he didn't get to have when he listens "Remember that she's getting older too" and he just thinks of Bruce and how much gray hair he has now (Bruce is 45, Jason is 20) and his wrinkles and how he is certain that he heard his knees pop when he got up to go after him..... "Memorize what it sounded like, when your dad gets home" of course he knows how his dad footsteps by heart.... "I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone" and Jason just stops breathing for a second.... And starts to overthink, "When was the last time he called Dickie? Or Alfred? Is Bruce okay? Is he injured, or dead, would they tell him?? Have they been happy when they called? They sounded a little tired maybe they were just dealing with a complicated case or something, they are fine, no one is dead..." He is pacing back and forth, and he remembers how much he hates living alone sometimes. And how much he wants to see Bruce, cause he tends to look more tired when one of them argues with him and leaves the manor for long periods of time. And he's worried bc he hasn't seen him on patrol either.... And did Alfred mention an incident??? Is Bruce okay?? Is he alive? Is his dad alive?? He feels like he can't breathe... he bolted out the safe house, drove like a madman to the manor it's like 4 am everyone is sleeping, and he runs up the stairs to Bruce's room but he is not there, and he can't breathe, "where the fuck are you?!" He mutters and checks the dining room, the kitchen, the living rooms, and he notices a little light coming from the library... HIS library, he pushed the door open slowly, breathing for the first time in what feels like forever bc there's his dad staring at the fire holding HIS favorite book

"...Dad?.." Jason says weakly

Bruce is startled by his sudden appearance, but one look over Jason and he rushes towards him.

"Jayson? Are you okay? Are you injured? What hurts, son? " And he is checking him for injuries and Jayson just starts crying out of relief bc his dad is alive.

"Da-ad, you are okay? " Between sobs

"What? Of course I'm okay? Why wouldn't I be?" Bruce frowns

"Alfred said there was an incident?"

"Oh, that was Dick, he fell into a garbage can and got mildly concussed" Bruce said tiredly.

"Oh..." Jason sniffled, he hugs Bruce tightly. "I..I thought that you got injured " he muffles onto Bruce's shoulder

"Oh chum, I'm not injured I promise"

"I heard your knees popped, old man!" Tightening his grip "are you sure?!"

"It's a natural occurrence, Jaylad, it comes with age" he chuckles " I'm surprised it's the only thing popping, given my life style"

It's supposed to bring comfort but Jason just looks at Bruce and starts bawling his eyes out again. And Bruce is panicking bc he doesn't know why what he said cause such a reaction, from Jason no less, "chum it's okay! I'm healthy as always-" they move to the couch, Jason refusing to let go of him, "Jason, son, I'm not going to disappear or drop dead tomorrow I promise! I'm still plenty young! I'm only 45!" He reassures Jason, and it works somewhat. He tries to put him to bed but Jason just pouts all teary eyes, and Bruce tucks him in his bed, and goes to lay down, Jason doesn't even let him get comfortable when he latches on to Bruce, B just sighs and kisses his forehead and goes to sleep.

Later that day, when they wake up, Jason is still clingy and follows him everywhere like a baby chick, Alfred is getting flashbacks from when Jason was 13, and everyone else is confused.

"Oooh, just never grow up"

[sweepingboy]

Mu Qing is meditating next to him and despite the peaceful nature of the activity gives an impression of a pissed off cat.

The swamps are a neutral territory between their borders: always humid and swarming with mosquitos and restless dead - the place is a headache and even a greedy control freak like Mu Qing prefers "co-owning" to dealing with it alone. Or he just want Feng Xin to suffer too. He would never agree smelling the turf monsters on his own.

So here they are in an old inn sharing a room since apparently the place is extremely popular not only among ghouls. Or maybe the owner is a ghost himself and has an evil plan to choke them with the dust and mold in that casket. To his surprise ever so squirmish Mu Qing sighs heavily and walks inside. Feng Xin thinks that he must be really drained and feels a bit bad knowing that the man probably won't be able to rest properly after the mission.

Nights drag forever when you don't sleep, especially the summer ones. Drained in sweat after the long day of scorching sun at first you're relived when the it hides behind the horizon but it hardly gets better. The thinnest blanket feels like Kiln sticking to your body as you turn and twist trying to settle down.

"You can't do anything about it" he says when Mu Qing gives up pretending it's not bothering him and offers sleeping herbs.

"I have eight centuries of medical experience, you think I don't know how to treat insomnia?"

"I can fall asleep just fine", Feng Xin starts feeling agitated. Gods, the asshole is certainly experienced in being annoying and pulling his last nerve.

"So what's wrong?" Mu Qing sounds like he's winding up too.

"None of your business! Why the hell do you care?"

A bit of silence.

"Then suffer." the man seems to lose the remaining energy. "Just try not to make noise again" He closes his eyes and returns to meditation. Feng Xin feels a pang of frustration and somehow disappointment. Shame maybe. Mu Qing meant well it's not his fault he can't help.

He watches the man and feels his own exhaustion wash over him. He wishes he could just go to sleep but he wouldn't be able to rest when....

"I have dreams of you dying."

"Of course you do" Mu Qing responds quickly. Feng Xin can swear he managed to roll his eyes while keeping them shut.

"No I mean back then." Feng Xin turns away and focuses his gaze on the dirty curtains. He hesitates trying to come up with words to describe the endless nightmares that have been plaguing him lately.

Mu Qing falling into lava, Mu Qing bleeding to death, Mu Qing tortured to death by the Jun Wu him passing away in the medical tent he spent few weeks at. A tragedy after tragedy each night until he wakes up feeling even more tired than before.

When he turns back Mu Qing observes his face quietly.

"I don't like them." he whispers not knowing what else to say " they bother me a lot".

Words hang in silence. Somehow the confession seems bigger than it is. He's putting something into Mu Qing's hands and doesn't even know what it is.

"You did it though. You saved me. No matter how much i hate it you saved my life."

This takes Feng Xin by surprise and makes him chuckle. What an proudful ass!

"I'm not afraid to die for a good reason." Mu Qing continues calmly " And I don't need anyone to rescue me - but as long as you're around no matter what I think about it you will pull some shit and get me out. In spite of my opinion just to piss me off"

Feng Xin hums. Mu Qing being an ungrateful ass he is is surprisingly relaxing "What if I fail to do it one day?"

"Oh, you never fail to make me mad. This you can be trusted"

A wave of warmth washes over him. Mu Qing has that way of saying things indirectly Feng Xin got familiar with in the past few months. Passages of indifference are a way to hide a soft vulnerable something. But as he sits in front of him dressed only in the inner robes clinging to his body (not a look many people saw a great general Xuan Zhen in!) talking in that soft calm tone not meeting his eyes the veil of confusing statements seems a bit lighter and the outline of something is almost recognisable behind it. So Feng Xin takes his chance and makes an assumption.

"I'm glad you trust me - because I would do it again. I hope you will be mad at me forever if it means you're alive."He can swear Mu Qing's ears flush pink.

"Go sleep." He turns away pointedly. "And if you get one of those dreams again - I will wake you up" he adds quietly shooting Feng Xin a glance before finally facing away.

Feng Xin is still smiling as he makes himself comfortable on his pillow and allows himself to finally rest.

***

That night he dreams of Mount Tonglu - and it happens again: the fire, the leap but Mu Qing's in his arms as he should be. Scared then confused then angry at him and alive. And as he screams at him for getting him out, or for being too slow, or for gods know what else Feng Xin leans on and gives him a kiss on the lips to make sure he stays mad a bit longer.

[heartmix]

i got you - CS55

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.1k+

Summary: She's learning how to let go and Carlos is with her every step of the way

Warning: depressed reader, talks of depression, hurt/comfort, crying, all the sad stuff

A/N: veryyy self insert

F1 Masterlist / Masterlist

Carlos could see the tired, defeated, and depressed look in your eyes. The way your smile doesn't meet your eyes anymore when you come home from work. The way you don't spill work gossip, as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. The way your passion projects was passing comments if he asked about it, instead of being told at the dinner table. There was no fire in you anymore; the spark you once had all turned to ash. 

You were one of the lucky few to find a job you loved and looked forward to seeing the same people every day. It helped that you grew up with the people you worked with. Your older sibling started there as his first job. Everyone there either knew you as a little girl coming to pick up or drop off your brother with your mom, or a colleague they've grown to love. 

Carlos hated seeing something you loved turn into something you couldn't stand to be around. The light left your eyes, and it felt more like an obligation than anything. He knew how much it was affecting you because he's had nightmares about one day waking up not being in love with racing anymore. That terrified him, so he could only think of how bad you're hurting. 

There have been hours and days when you would devote all your time there. If you weren't at home, you were at work. Staying after hours with the rest of your co-workers, you called family. They were, in a way, your family, the people you grew up with and knew a lot of things about you. 

He wanted to tell you to quit, that he had enough to take care of you. That he would love that you had more free time to come and watch races. But he knew it wasn't that easy. If someone told him to quit racing just because he wasn't happy with it anymore, he would yell at them - it wasn't easy to walk away from spent you've spent your whole life working for. 

The last straw was when he came home early from meetings. He managed to convince the team that the meetings could happen later, closer to race day. Honestly, he wanted to go home and wait for you. Between the number of meetings he's been in and that it was the busy time of the year for you, he hardly saw you at all besides going to sleep in bed. 

As he was about to walk into the bedroom to shower, he heard sniffles. Slowly opening the door, he saw you sitting on the bed with more tears than he's ever seen out of you streaming down your face. Dropping everything he had in his hands, he rushed to your side, pulling you into his arms, which made you cry even harder. 

He let you cry out all your tears until you didn't have any more. There was no way to even get words out in the current state you were in. When he felt your breath even out the best it could and your body stop shaking from all the sobs, he looked down and brushed the hair that was stuck to your skin thanks to the wet tears. 

"What happened?" His voice was soft, a whisper like he didn't want to trigger you again. 

"I can't do it anymore. I can't feel like this every day when I know I deserve better." You looked away before any more tears could stream down; the way he was looking at you made you feel comfortable enough to let tears fall again. 

He chose his next words with intention, and he hoped his tone came out the way he wanted to. "I'm going to say something, and I understand if you get mad, I would too if someone told me this, but you need to leave. It's draining you and pretty soon it's going to consume you, if it hasn't already." 

"I don't know how to." Your voice was broken beyond anything he's heard before. If the room wasn't silent, he wouldn't have heard it. 

"I will be with you every step of the way. I'm not going to leave you to do anything by yourself." He reassured, knowing you needed it. 

"They've been with me for most of my life, they were family before they were coworkers. How do I just walk away from that?"

"I don't know. I can't tell you how, but what I do know is that you will find the passion again. It may take some time, but you will. In the meantime, I've got you. Don't worry about the bills or feeling like you're useless just sitting at home. You can't be the best version of yourself if all aspects of your life don't make you happy." The small circles he was rubbing into your shoulder calmed you down more than you thought they would, and his words eased your mind. Enough to make you want to hash this out all right now. 

"What if I lose them? Not as co-workers, but the bond I've created since I could walk." 

"I can't tell you if you'll lose them, but I can tell you they should understand. If they don't, that isn't your fault. None of this is your fault, cariño."

After what felt like hours, you sighed and nodded, "Okay. This last project is going to be my last. After this week, I'm done." 

"You ready for it?" He wasn't doubting his advice; he just wanted you to do this when you were ready, that way it would make the process easier. 

"No, but if I don't do it now, I'll just make excuses and wait it out. Also, I think my voice of reason is making it better." You gave a small smile that he hadn't seen in weeks. Warmth filled him, and he knew he had made the right choice to tell you to leave. 

"In that case, I think your voice of reason is saying you should join him in Italy next week. You know, just to take your mind off of everything." He teased, which you couldn't help but laugh at his antics. Going from being an understanding and comforting teddy bear to sliming his way to get you to go with him to the next race, or a vacation, as he would call it. 

"Of course you'd say that."

"Doesn't hurt to try." His shoulder shrugged while the corners of his mouth formed a smirk. He was confident for someone who didn't get a confirmation. But he knew you'd join him anyway, even if he had to drag you on the plane. 

"But thank you. I didn't know I just needed someone to tell me it was okay and that I'm going to be okay." 

"You don't need to thank me, that's what I'm here for." He pulled you into his chest with a smile on his face. For the first time in months, you can say you finally felt happier. 

[jacsismattswife]

late night at the studio : matt sturniolo

pairing ; soft!matt x singer!reader

warning ; just pure fluff!!, pet names (baby, sweetheart), lowercase intended, spellings may be different cause i'm from the uk

author's note ; i've had this idea for ages but i js couldn't be bothered to write it but here! just a short fluffy fic :p

word count ; 418

you'd had a long, exhausting night at the studio. you have been working on your new album, and you got so caught up in it to the point that you hadn't even realised it was currently 4 am.

you groggily walked through the front door, taking your shoes off and dumping your bag on the floor, not even bothering to put it on the hook.

you headed to the living room to see matt sprawled out on the sofa, watching gravity falls. typical.

he noticed you as soon as you peeked your head into the room, concern taking over his own tired face as he took in the dark circled under your eyes and just your overall exhausted expression.

he silently waved you over, signalling you to come sit down.

you immediately obliged, wanting to just be with matt.

as soon as you sat down, you were already snuggling into him. your head was on his shoulder and you were sat impossibly close to him.

he just wrapped an arm around you, rubbing soothing circles on your back. "you need go stop spending so much time at the studio, baby. you're exhausted," he whispered, gently kissing your forehead. "i know you want this album out but you need to prioritize youself. i hate seeing you like this," he pulled you into his lap and cradled your head against his chest.

"but you're also awake," you mumbled against him.

he looked at you then, taking his eyes away from the tv. "i know i'm awake, but i wasn't working. i was just waiting for you. you're a lot more tired than me, sweetheart, you've been using your brain to make music since, like, 6 pm?"

all you could mutter was a small "i know," feeling like you could fall asleep any second.

he kept his soothing motions of gently rubbing circles on your back, trying to coax you into sleep. "rest, sweetheart. i'm here," he whispered.

the last thing you felt before you fell asleep was the soft kiss to your forehead, classic matt making sure you feel fully comforted and safe all the way up until you fully lose consciousness.

gravity falls continued to quietly play in the background as he, too, fell asleep. the only thing that kept him awake was waiting for you to come home.

you both slept soundly on the sofa, you in his lap. you'd both end up waking up with sore backs from the position tomorrow but you didn't mind.

taglist...

all ; @conspiracy-ash @emely9274 @lezleeferguson-120 @courta13 @mattsdeer @iluvchr1s @sturn-l0ver

if you would like to be added to my taglist, click here!

dividers by : @bernardsbendystraws

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"YOU MUST WAKE UP, NOW"

Can't believe I've never posted a fic with Morpheus on here, so there you go,!

(He's one of my favorite cinema characters and I just adore this show SOOO MUCH lol)

I hope you like it! 😊🖤

You'd always wanted to meet the love of your life.

Of course, you were one of those girls who only left the house when absolutely necessary, and you hoped that one day someone would bump into you on the street, grab the things you were carrying, and when you looked up, you'd fall madly in love with that person.

That's why you didn't expect what was about to happen. Like every day, you went to sleep after your job at the library.

You loved your job; being surrounded by books and giving other people the opportunity to be surrounded by them felt like your life's work.

You were so tired that when your head touched the pillow, you fell into a deep, restful sleep, something that had never happened to you in your twenty-two years of life.

It wasn't that you had trouble sleeping, but it wasn't that you fell asleep instantly, as had happened in that moment.

You were surprised when you suddenly woke up.

Or at least that's what you felt like, but when you turned around and looked around, you realized that this place wasn't your room.

You looked at the enormous forest in front of you, dimly lit by several small torches on either side of the path you were standing on.

As if you were Dorothy, you decided to follow the path, thinking that if she had done it and reached the Wizard of Oz's palace, you must be getting somewhere too.

Of course, you didn't expect the path to end at the foot of a huge staircase, where at the top was a kind of throne, on which someone was sitting.

You couldn't see his face.

From where you were, he was nothing more than a nameless, identityless shadow.

"Hello?" "You asked timidly, not quite knowing what to say. "I… I'm sorry… I don't know how I got here." He let out a nervous laugh. "I don't know where HERE is supposed to be," you pointed out, looking at the expanse of the forest around you.

Then his deep, masculine voice filled the room.

The impact of his voice made the intensity of his presence evident, even though you couldn't see his face.

"You are in my kingdom, mortal" he murmured, not with contempt, but almost as if he were grateful for your presence. "That's where HERE is" he whispered. "And you are in my domain because I allow i."

"Thank you, sir" you whispered, astonished by what you were experiencing. "So, am I asleep?"

"That's right" he affirmed, reaching out his hand toward the light to gesture to you. "Come closer so I can see you better."

That's what you did.

You stood under a spotlight that seemed to have appeared there on purpose, so that he could see you.

For a few moments, he just watched you.

You couldn't see him, but you knew he was looking at you with the same attention a surgeon studies his patient before operating on them to rid them of their illness.

"You're probably wondering what you're doing here," he murmured, and you nodded slowly, without saying a word. "I've been… watching you," he acknowledged. "You lead a rather monotonous life, and I'd like to help you change that, if you'd like."

"Why me?" you blurted out. "I mean, I don't want to sound rude or anything, but aren't there other people whose lives are worse than mine? Why did you choose me?"

"I sense something special about you," he whispered, resting his elbows on the throne before rising from it, "something I've never seen in any other mortal."

"You speak of mortals as if you weren't one of them," you added.

"That's because I'm not," he whispered, as you noticed him descending the steps soundlessly, as if he were nothing more than a shadow.

"So what are you?" you whispered, staring at the figure about to step into the light.

Your breath caught in your throat when you finally saw him.

He had a peculiar face, one of those that no matter how many people you met throughout your life, that face, that face, would remain etched in your mind forever.

A face with sharp features and cunning, dark, cat-like eyes stared back at you.

His coal-black hair seemed to gleam in the light above your heads, which you still didn't know where it came from, and you didn't think you'd ever find out.

"My name is Morpheus, weaver of dreams and member of the endless he introduced himself formally.

"I'm y/n," you murmured, causing a hint of a smile to form on his lips at the simplicity of your answer

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, y/n" he whispered, looking at you carefully before raising his head, as if he'd heard something you couldn't. "There isn't much time left until the sun rises, so I won't keep you too long," he said. "I just wanted to… talk to you for a few moments, and the only time I can do that is here, in your dreams"

"I see," you murmured. "So what is it you want from me?"

"To enjoy the incomparable pleasure of your company," he whispered as if it were obvious. "Is that not enough?"

-Of course, it's just that this is… strange- you replied, somewhat flustered. “I’ve been dreaming about this for as long as I can remember, and nothing like this has ever happened to me.” Suddenly, your eyes widened and you looked at him intently. “Unless I’ve done something wrong, in which case, I’ll take whatever punishment is imposed on me without complaining once.”

“You’re not capable of causing any harm, Y/N,” he whispered, staring deeply into your eyes. “You haven’t done anything vile. Therefore, no one is going to punish you for anything. You can rest easy.”

“That’s a relief, thank you.”

You stared at each other for a few moments before he raised his right hand in front of his face.

“You need to wake up now” he whispered, making a gesture of snapping his fingers, but before he could, you stopped him.

“Wait,” you murmured quickly. “Will I ever see you again?”

“I’ve let you into my kingdom, Y/N,” he reminded you. “The entrance is open to you whenever you want,” he whispered. “I’ll tell Lucienne that if she sees you lurking around here, you’re not a stranger, but a person under my protection.” He whispered, taking a handful of sand out of the pocket of his long black robe. “You must wake up, now.” He blew, and the sand in his hand flew towards your face before you had time to say anything else.

The next thing you knew, you’d woken up in your bed to the sound of your alarm clock like every day, feeling like you’d never slept so well in your entire life.

[makixroll]

rawr first ask ever on tumblr kinda nervy

anways i immediately thought of harua getting pouty for beebadoobee's "don't forget to kiss me" like oh my days (aaah)

its kinda giving those tiktok/yt pranks where someone leaves w/o saying ily or w/o giving a kiss fjkewdkfjevroiejiorf

also ur music taste is highkey fire like okayyyyy + i love ur works

(i have thoughts about the other lyrics with other members but I wont share them yet unless they go untouched <3)

GLUE SONG — harua ۫ ꣑ৎ

pairing . . . harua x fem!reader

content . . . "don't forget to kiss me."

message . . . hi anon tysm !! lol i have a playlist full of love songs and likeee i really wanna add more but i was contemplating cause im not sure if my event will flop or not ANYWAYS!! im so so so excited for ur other asks!

Harua just came back from their tour, and to say the least, he was tired as hell. As soon as they landed in Japan, he didn't bother going back to their dorm. Instead, he went straight to your apartment. Now, he's taking a well deserved nap in your bedroom, while you were in the living room, waiting for your boyfriend to wake up so you could go to the grocery store.

You were on your phone, scrolling on tiktok to pass time when you suddenly stumbled upon a couple prank video. With sudden interest, you watched the whole thing, already imagining Harua's reaction if you ever do this to him. But of course, you're a nice girlfriend. You wouldn't do such thing that could potentially upset your cute boyfriend.

Okay... maybe you're not that nice when you found yourself wishing for Harua to wake up sooner, just so you could do the prank to him.

And as if the gods above had heard your prayers, you heard faint footsteps coming from inside the bedroom, and then, the doorknob twisted open, revealing Harua who's eyes are still half-closed with a messy hair he tried to get rid off by combing it with his fingers.

"Hi, baby. Had a good sleep?" You beamed at him. Harua glanced at you with a lazy smile as he nodded his head, walking towards the couch where you're sat. You turned off your phone, patting the space beside you. Harua sat with a slump as he leaned on your shoulder.

"I'm going to the store to buy us food. You want anything?" You asked, hands combing his hair as he snuggled closer to you, loving the warmth of your body right now.

"You already know what I want." Harua mumbled softly, now, his chin rested on your shoulder as he looked at you.

You gave him a smile, patting his head. "Okay, thought you wanted other stuffs. I'll go now."

Harua nodded his head, closing his eyes for a couple of seconds before he dettached himself from you. You stood up, gathering the things you needed before walking towards the door, not before glancing at Harua's sleepy form on the couch.

"I'll be quick, baby." You announced, waving your hand at him before you twisted the door knob.

Harua's eyebrows were now furrowed, sensing something wrong. Not to the surrounding, not to himself, but to you. He sensed something wrong, and he felt like something's missing ever since you left the couch. Then, something clicked.

No I love you's, no kisses before leaving.

His eyes shot up, "Baby!" He called out, Harua's voice coming out as a whine. You bit your lower lip, trying to supress a chuckle as you glanced back at him, a questioned hum leaving your lips. You observed his face, pouty lips and glaring eyes. Yup, Harua's sulky now.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Harua asked, trying to sound mad. But to you, he's the cutest boyfriend ever. You feigned confusion, tilting your head to the side as you stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"Am I? My wallet is with me right now, though." You answered in a mumble, cupping your pockets to look believable.

Harua groaned as he rolled his eyes on you, you couldn't help but let out the contained giggles from your mouth as he stood up from the couch and marched towards you. Once he was standing in front of you, he grabbed your chin softly and tilted it, he leaned down,

"Don't forget to kiss me." Harua whispered before he planted his lips on yours. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss, your hands coming up to wrapped themselves around his neck, kissing him back.

Now satisfied, Harua broke the kiss, panting softly as he stared at your eyes. His pouty expression no longer there, replaced with a cheeky smile.

"So that's what I forgot, huh." You said teasingly, before giving him another peck on his lips.

[awkward-teabag]

Not that I needed it but more proof my circadian rhythm doesn't fit in nicely with 9-5 capitalism: After months of having to get up around 8AM, I still default to staying up "late" and have to set multiple alarms to maybe get up.

That should be long enough to adjust but nope, I can't do it just like I couldn't do it when I was in school.

[flaming-toads]

.

[vvitchy-succubus]

.

[gorkaya-trava]

I really wanna fall asleep and never wake up again

[c-infinity-83]

*shakes curly awake* PLEAZE WAKE UP AND FRONT JIMMY IS DRIVING ME INSANER

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

I'm so eepy RAAAAHHH