#I'm so scared it's going to die
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Honestly God bless the people asking the PKC admins for updates on their Discord, the PKC ingrained its 'no badgering judges' ruleset into me (good thing) to the point of me not wanting to bother the staff, even when the website has been down for what's almost 2 years now
#GOD I wish they'd just accept our help#the rewrite was supposed to take a few weeks#meanwhile it's almost two years and most of the staff will need replacing if it DOES ever go back online#since they freaking LEFT.#I don't really know how the PKC will run without Tarzi or Nova but you know...#it's the last Petz community I'm a part of that didn't die#I'm so scared it's going to die#the thing is older than me for fuck's sake it'd be the stupidest way for it to go#Polish Petz forums died years ago and everyone moved to the PKC#so if it goes down we basically don't have a place to go#I know I could join like... the RKC or Whiskerwick but they're so fundementally different...#I have accounts on both but they have a completely different vibe and all#so the only other Petz site I frequent is PUGS but that's mostly for the games and the marketplace#I love showing and all... I miss the PKC...#I just wish for a bit more transparency#PHP is my main programming language I could literally help#but they don't want help and I don't want to feel like I'm forcing it upon them#if they'd at least accept help with the really mundane stuff it'd be enough#I hate sitting here feeling like the PKC is gonna end up like PTI#or SHiR#or Petzik#or BCC#or literally any of the Polish forums I used to frequent#sorry this means way too much for me#Petz forums were the first online communities I was really active in#the PKC is the last one standing for me so...
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Doodle of @/nicktoonsunite's aged up danny design bc I like the fire ponytail it's v fun
#not tagging them#bc they are v cool big artist#and I am but a scared lad#but go look at their art pls bc it makes me die /pos#danny phantom#danny fenton#danny phantom fanart#danny fenton fanart#nicktoons#pax art#I'm so bad at captioning I'm sorry
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If Martyn meant nothing to him, he couldn’t see it in the golden glow of Scott’s joy. “I love you,” Scott said. Martyn squeezed his hand. “Love you too.” He resisted the urge to say, my liege, and instead, bit his tongue hard enough that he tasted blood.
— the final lines of @apollothetransboy's it’s better to leave than to be replaced may or may not have changed my brain chemistry irrevocably
#taevi.png#queue#life series#limited life#liml#mean gills#martyn itlw#scott smajor#inthelittlewood#martyn inthelittlewood#save me ibtl......ibtl.......itbl save me.........#this SHOULD be going up during my break on the queue so my art blog hopefully doesn't die for a week#oh gosh i'm so scared to post this jrfdhjdf i've had this idea for the longest time
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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Fluent Freshman - Part 21
PREVIOUS
“What made you think taking on a mafia hitman was a good idea?” Andrew asks as he and FF were positioning themselves the best the could for an ambush on Romero.
Since, they APPARENTLY had time to talk.
Romero had gotten the text Andrew had sent him and INSTEAD of coming out right away to progress the whole SCHEME to kidnap and murder Andrew’s Junkie like any sensible goon Romero went to the BAR. Romero went to the Bar to get him and Jackson a round of CELEBRATORY drinks. Romero is still there at the bar waiting to be served by an INCREDIBLY nervous Roland if the number of exclamation marks and puking emojis is to be believed.
What the FUCK is there to celebrate?
These two idiots want to kidnap NEIL and so far the only thing Romero knows (thinks) that they’ve caught are two people that Neil would come for but even in Andrew’s text he’d been clear that he needed help getting ‘The boyfriend and the new friend’ to talk let alone getting them to call ‘The Wesninski Brat’ out. Andrew had hated typing the name in reference to Neil but it was the only thing the two ever referred to him as in their chats.
Is it some insane mental game that Romero thought he and Jackson were going to play on Andrew and Smith? Toasting to their torture so they’d give up Neil? Who knows.
He realizes that FF hasn’t answered him, his eyes focused on the door when Andrew’s thoughts had drifted. A reliable guy, steady in a pinch, and focused like most the others weren’t.
(Andrew does not know that FF is thinking about how one would go about becoming a Mafia Hitman. What is that career path like? Do they show up at job fairs? Do you get a job as a short order cook at a business that acts as a front and see to much but you’re also the only one that knows the secret spaghetti recipe the boss likes so you have to sign yourself to the family? Are you out doing your own freelance crime and someone higher up sees your work one day and literally head hunts you? Is it like in Saw where you survive an ordeal and then-)
“Smith?” Andrew draws FF’s attention away from the door.
“I didn’t think it was a good idea at any point.” FF says and Andrew is surprised by the admission and is more surprised by the twist of FF’s lips into a frown, “I just did what I thought I needed to do.” He adds.
(Andrew does not know that the twist of FF’s lips has more to do with the fact that he is realizing that Romero likely STILL has not washed his hands. Romero hasn’t washed his hands and he is going to hand Jackson a DRINK with those hands. Ugh. Honestly a contract killer AND someone who doesn’t wash his hands? Who RAISED him? What does his grandma think of this? FF hopes she’s disappointed in him.)
“You thought you needed to lure a hitman into an alley?” Andrew asks because the plan is stupid even if so far it has worked out for FF. The fact that Romero hadn’t just come out when he sent Jackson the signal is only due to FF’s good luck and their stupidity.
“I didn’t have a lot of time to think up anything more than the first plan I thought of. I saw him looking at Nicky on the dance floor.” FF says with another twist of his lips as he self-consciously rubbed at his cheek. It’s never fun to have someone who has time to pick apart a plan that you barely had time to form. Andrew can understand the irritation and is glad that FF isn’t lashing out at him for it.
(Andrew does not know that FF is not irritated he is just remembering that he had held up his broken toilet bowl phone to his face to pretend call Captain Neil. He’s contemplating asking if Andrew maybe possibly has a wet wipe? Actually the murder van probably has bleach to clean up evidence, maybe he can just dip his face in there for like a minute.)
“Don’t use a plan where you martyr yourself. I already have to deal with Neil’s bullshit tendencies.” Andrew says instead of thanking him. “You should have just called me.” He says.
FF just holds up his phone, “Dropped into a club toilet. Completely unusable.” He says and yeah that makes sense. FF would have probably just texted Andrew but coming out and seeing a hitman going after Nicky probably made it impossible for the freshman to go get help without drawing all the attention to himself first if he wanted to make sure Nicky stayed safe.
Still.
“You dropped it into a toilet? You haven’t even had anything tonight.” He says because that clumsiness is not something he expects from FF.
“You try taking a pee next to someone on the FBI’s most wanted list and see how dry your palms remain when he’s talking about grabbing one of Captain Neil’s friends to lure him out.” He says with a brow raised.
That’s fair.
He figures that Romero hadn’t even noticed FF standing there. FF was incredibly good at just making himself unnoticeable (to Andrew’s occasional great annoyance and to Kevin’s great desire to study him for Exy related purposes).
“You recognized him?” He asks.
FF’s gaze slides to him, “I looked up a lot about the Foxes after I signed.” FF answers before his gaze slides back to the door. Roland had just texted Andrew that he’s getting Romero’s drinks ready (Two bud lites. Those are the celebratory drinks he waited for?? Embarrassing.) “I really looked up to Captain Neil. So, I read a lot more about him than anyone else.” FF admits but the fact that FF looked up to Neil was not in any way shape or form a secret.
FF was the only one who was ALWAYS paying attention to whatever Neil was saying and never argued with it. Even Andrew tended to just get lost in the sound of Neil’s voice when he’s going over Exy plays and not actually listen to the plan. FF’s eyes were always right on Neil and his actions on the court showed that he had been paying attention and knew what he was doing. Kevin also listened but he tended to fight Neil on the finer details of plays, strategy or anything else. FF was the one who would just nod and do his part in whatever possible play Neil had broken down for them.
FF was also categorically incapable of referring to Neil as anything other than Captain Neil.
Neil had bristled early on at it. He had thought it was a mocking title, something FF was saying to rile him up because that’s what Freshman Foxes did. That’s what Freshman Foxes always do. FF slid into the team without a whisper of rebellion and it hadn’t taken long to realize that FF was using the title with sincerity even if his monotone did not perfectly convey that.
It’d been that sincerity and that ease that had FF be the only option he’d considered when Bee said he should consider expanding his friend pool.
So if FF looked a little deeper into Neil’s past and sees Neil’s part in it as something to respect, something to admire?
Well, he personally thought he always had great taste in people. (He ignores the voice in his head that sounds like Nicky complaining about Kevin still not knowing German despite it being the family language.)
“You sure you don’t want one of my knives or the knife Jackson had?” It was pretty big and Andrew didn’t think it would work well with his general style but maybe FF could use it somehow. He was uneasy that FF was going into this fight unarmed. FF still hadn’t talked about how he’d taken out Jackson when the man had a knife like that.
“Do I look like Crocodile Dundee to you?” FF asks with a raised eyebrow and Andrew has to pause a moment for the movie to load into his brain before he offers an amused quirk of his own lips.
FF is a funny guy.
His phone dings. “He’s on his way.”
***
Aside from thinking about how nice the conversation he was having with his friend Andrew (his friend! His friend Andrew! God how is he going to admit to Gran that Andrew was never planning on stabbing him? She threatened to come over and square off with the ‘mean young man’ bullying him. He’s gotta go grab the makings for a secondary pie to even start to make up for this. Maybe Andrew would prefer a cobbler? He should ask his friend his preferences.) he was thinking about how he really wished they hadn’t had a cut away from Gracie Hart showing all the various forms of self defense she knows in the movie.
He had no idea if he could do a repeat performance of S.I.N.G. with Romero.
It’d be nice to have a few more things in his repertoire because all he has is striking Romero with the heel of his hand in the nose, getting grabbed from behind to throw him over his shoulder (which what if Romero is shorter than him? How will THAT work. Gracie Hart guide my steps!), and of course S.I.N.G.
If he survives this he might write a letter to the writer.
The door opens and honestly FF and Andrew agreed that surprise and speed were going to be their best weapons. The two of them go in for a full body tackle but Romero must just be a higher class goon than Jackson was since he manages to body them away. The door shuts which is mostly what they wanted anyways. Romero can’t go back in and grab someone to use as a shield.
He sees Andrew pull out his knives and now FF realizes that any level of threatening Andrew had done before must have mostly been in jest or just as intimidation. When Andrew wants to stab someone it’s obvious that he’s aiming to stab them.
Romero manages to parry Andrew’s first stab with a move that FF had seen on the ‘how to handle someone coming at you with a knife’ videos. FF sees Romero go in to bash one of the Bud Lite bottles over Andrew’s head so he launches his water bottle at Romero’s hand. The bottle falls and shatters harmlessly on the ground.
He kicks Romero’s other hand since the water bottle bought him time to get close. “You fucking brat!” Romero hisses.
He sees Romero reaching for something at the same time Andrew is going in for the second round of stabbing. Romero dodges out of the way but FF can see what might actually for real be an entire gun concealed in his jacket.
He can see Romero going for it. Sees the same smile on his face he’d seen inside as his hand wraps around the handle.
FF doesn’t think.
FF doesn’t think because if he does he’ll freeze.
So FF acts.
“Gun!” He yells and runs full force tackling Romero as hard as he can but unfortunately he tackles Romero into Andrew.
The three of them grapple on the ground. It’s hard to keep track of what limb is who’s and he’s pretty sure he’s accidentally hit Andrew a few times instead of Romero but he’s also pretty sure that Andrew punched him in the stomach so he thinks they’re equal. Finally FF gets a hand on the gun that Romero had been trying to get the safety off of and he knocks it out of Romero’s hand. “You kids will-“
Romero doesn’t get to say anything else because Andrew manages to land a punch right to his jaw that has Romero go limp under the two of them. They look at one another and Andrew manages to pull the handcuffs they’d purloined out of the Van while they were waiting off of the belt loop they were hooked onto and gets them around Romero’s wrists.
They stare down at the second unconscious man on the FBI’s most wanted list in the alley.
Then they roll off of him and onto their backs. Both of them wheezing from a combination of exertion, adrenaline, and (at least in FF’s case) a fair amount of pain (Christ Andrew packs a PUNCH his stomach is already sensitive. It’s a miracle that punch hadn’t made him puke.)
“That was…so stupid.” Andrew pants.
“Yeah probably.” FF admits.
They lay there for about a minute and FF thinks that maybe someone will need to carry him because his stomach is KILLING HIM with all this.
“Alright let’s-“
Andrew is sitting up and looking at him when he stops talking.
FF doesn’t really know what the issue is but starts to sit up, “Don’t you DARE.” Andrew hisses and FF finds himself being pushed back down to the ground to lay flat. “Don’t move Smith.” He demands and is pulling his phone out of his pocket as he keeps a hand on FF’s shoulder.
FF doesn’t really understand what’s got Andrew so upset all the sudden. “Andrew, what’s-“ he tries to sit up again. Is there a third person and Andrew wants him to keep down? There’s not really cover here they should move towards the dumpster maybe?
“Smith, I told you to not move.” Andrew hisses before whoever he’s calling seems to pick up. “I need police and an ambulance. We’re at Eden’s Twilight in the back alley.” He looks to FF, “What’s your blood type?” He asks.
FF has NO idea.
“I don’t know.” He answers and Andrew makes a disgusted sound. “Andrew, what’s-“
Then he sees it.
He doesn’t quite get how he missed it before now.
“Huh.” He hears himself say.
That’s Andrew’s knife handle sticking out of his stomach.
It appears that Andrew Minyard may have stabbed him in the stomach.
“Well, that’s about what I expected.” He says and lets his head rest against the pavement.
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
Per your requests:
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The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
#Fluent Freshman AU#He was RIGHT all along.#The Cassandra of Anxiety#He just kind of had no idea that it would be an accident#Vote now on FF's blood type#I will just say this now that this is not going to be a story where FF dies and Andrew's upset#This is me thinking that this is kind of a funny way for this night to end considering everything#If FF had a phone he would absolutely text his gran on the ambulance ride over#FF: SO I WAS BOTH COMPLETELY WRONG AND RIGHT#FF: Andrew wants to be my friend but due to bizarre circumstances he sure did accidentally stab me tonight#FF: BTW do YOU know my bloodtype? Because the nice EMT lady keeps asking me if I'm sure I don't know.#But FF doesn't have a phone so maybe he drifts a lil closer to the afterlife for a comedic reunion with great gran#GG: You're going to be okay. There's no way you'll die in a fight against a man who doesn't wash his hands#FF: I'm scared to check the state of his skin behind his ears.#GG: Exactly#AFTG#AFTG Fic#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#My Fic#Let's see if you all can find all the various lil jokes that I've made knowing that THIS#THIS is how this night was always gonna end for FF#I've gotten a kick out of putting them in#FF - Pt.21
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Fellas is it gay to plant a whole like REALLY HUGE road of flowers exclusively for your enemy. Flowers that, canonically, will wither and die if you don't tend to them for a SINGLE DAY. mAY I ADD that earlier in the story Blot states something like "the falls are ROMANTIC in a way, especially with a full moon in the sky >AND MY WORST ENEMY APPROACHING<"
Like I'm sorry I held it for too long and I need to say it. I am a firm believer that Mickey and Blot have the same as whatever it is that Basil and Ratigan got going on
#to me they're just two bi guys (bi ace for Mickey) who are like. You scare me. You're the only one who can face me at my level.-#-I admire your tenacity so much. I will chase you to hell and back in any challenge you lay out for me. Anyway I hate you. Jerk#I don't ship them in the sense of wanting them to be a couple but there IS tension there and I will DIE on that hill#I also don't think they're exes like Basil and Ratigan probably are but the vibe is the same#Bro will go to such extremes to mess with Mickey in particular it's insane#I really hope I'm not starting any sort of shipping drama in the topolino fandom (certainly a sentence to say)#should i even tag this#eh whatever#mickey mouse#the phantom blot#topolino comics
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no because the manga made me tear up. the anime made me full on BREAKDOWN.
they were able to take this already tragic backstory, and made it even MORE horrifically heartbreaking. And in such gorgeous animation too!!!!
Im actually not going to be okay what am I supposed to do after this holy shit.
#i already rambled about this in my previous post but whatever#my goodness. there was so much care put into the animation.#Aira running towards acrosilky to hug her and it switching to the daughter? Amazing. Life changing.#i do not know what to do with my life after this#the fight sequences were amazing as usual but the real kicker was the backstory obvi#I love how the shots spun around like how a barellina would#I'm going to die now. goodbye#dandadan#spoilers#aira shiratori#acrosilky#miz says stuff#I'm scared for the other backstories now. mostly for my emotional wellbeing. evil eye is literally two arcs (serpo and haunted house) after#I WONT BE OKAY WHEN VAMOLA BACKSTORY GETS ANIMATED FUCK
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i haven't been this not okay in over a year and i do not miss it and i do not want it
#good to know i can still spiral this hard and catastrophize as well as i ever did DESPITE EVERY TECHNIQUE I KNOW.#and yoga. and breathing. and cold water and ice. and logic. and distractions. and thought reframing.#teeth aren't a moral judgement EXCEPT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE#I feel like I'm going to ACTUALLY DIE. ACTUALLY DIE#I was JUST the other day so grateful it's been so long since I was mostly dissociated instead of mostly present and now all I want is to be#checked the FUCK out and also not exist so I don't have to go tomorrow#pull yourself together @ me you have objectively already survived much worse#and you have it much better than it could be#and worst case scenarios are still dealable-with even though they don't feel like it#unhelpfully. all my brain wants to do is tell every person i know that i'm freaked out and terrified and full of shame and guilt and dread#and want COMFORT AND ATTENTION#and it's like bitch you wouldn't even accept it if you asked and they DID give it to you. you are so fucked up right now. chill. OUT.#@ all of you I am SO sorry i'm liveblogging my breakdown today. i'm scared to open my journal and spiral more so this is all I've got#I'll be done with this mode by the end of tomorrow I promise#shh katie
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what if they'll have us all sign an nda before each show. what then
#i'm so scared man i'm not READY#this reminded me that my inhaler expired last month and i should get a new one before the show#so i don't actually die due to whatever they're gonna go on that stage lmao#dan and phil#dnp#phan#daniel howell#amazingphil#tit tour#terrible influence tour#dnptit
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OKAY I SEE YOU RAVEN/GLADIOLUS
MY GUY CARRIED THIS ENTIRE EPISODE, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY KILLING IT!
#I'm so scared for him#People in the comments are pointing out potential death flags#YALL SOMEONE AINT MAKING IT OUT OF THE WEIRD ROME PLACE#PEOPLE ARE PLACING BETS ON IT OAK OR RAVEN IS GONNA DIE#I really don't want anyone to go though T-T#Gladiolus homesick#raven homesick#Homesick webtoon#fambles
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in terms of tv production decisions that turned out to be terrible, the west wing choosing to use the same upbeat score over the end credits of EVERY EPISODE no matter what story beat it ended on has got to be up there as one of the worst 😂
#just finished the episode that has bartlet talking to a scared 20-something shipman#who's stuck on a ship in the middle of a hurricane path and is most assuredly about to die#and over the first end credit bartlet's like 'i'm here. i'm not going anywhere.'#and it's SO SOMBER#and then BAM. the cheery bouncy song starts lol#the west wing
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']
#Serving Jesus realness#star trek screenshots#Janeway#iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands#I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals#Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE#Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar#AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core#also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth#I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true#the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead#and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh.#Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine#Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!!#great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3#anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that#doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits#Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!
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dad just sent me an ominous text to intimidate me ig
#im so tired im so tired im so tired im so tired#i really dont want to be going through this right now#can we get on with the end of the world or literally anything it would be real nice hehe#im so tired#so much scary horrible things are happening rn#and it's obviously my fucking PARENTS#i can't keep going i dont want to it's so hard#i don't even know anything anymore idk who's in the right idk who's lying about what#uhhhh whatever whatever i need to sleep#but idk if I'll be able to ugh#dads just trying to ruin mom financially even though he's got enough money already and she can't fucking work#and i get the fucking. first row seat#and now he hates me too ig idk#why would he fucking send me that text of he didn't want to let me know hes furious with me or to#scare me idk fuck this#and I'm watching another horrible divorce with a close family member a#AND another fucking insane thing has been happening that's a huge problem ahaaaa im losing#my fucking mind here#and there's literally nothing i can do here like i can sit and take it#or die ig
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Okay so after reading a bunch of theories on Deep Cover and rewatching the MV about 30 times, my only coherrant thought is that I want Kotoko Yuzuriha to be fucking okay
#{ ⚖️ after knowing all I wonder. can you really forgive them? 👁️}#She really do be thinking that there is no going back huh#that killing that serial killer cursed the rest of her life and that she can only be this huh#I was excited for her in Trial 3 but now I'm just afraid#I know that none of these guys are going to get a happy ending. At best they'll get a bittersweet one#But there is zero happy ending in sight for Kotoko because she literally refuses to let herself have one#And that makes me so??? damn sad???#Honestly the only hope I have now is that she doesn't die but I honestly can't even feel safe believing that#In fact from a narrative perspective I think she is the character that would make the most sense to die at the end of all of this#And that scares me !!! Jesus Christ !!#milgram project#milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#yuzuriha kotoko#milgram kotoko
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