#I'm so open to critiques i really just want to improve :)

[generalllimaginesss]

"I bet you have a finsta and spend your time trolling us." With Nico pls :)

I guess its Nico Friday! This is short and sweet, but I really liked writing it! I hope you like it!!

••

"I'm just saying, for you both to have been first round drafts that collision should be mortifying," You trailed off as Luke and Jack Hughes sat across from you and your boyfriend in the restaurant.

Nico knew as soon as he saw the replay of the collision that the boys would not be able to escape your criticism. It was one of the things that he loved about you; you were just as passionate as him when it came to hockey, you just spent your time watching instead of playing.

"Really?" Jack rubbed his eyes, exhaustion beginning to set in. The last thing he wanted was to hear another person mention the most embarrassing moment in his career so far.

"Yes, really. What were you thinking? Do you know how bad one of you could have gotten hurt?" You continued to hound them.

Jack looked at Nico pleadingly, begging him to shut you up, but it was no use.

"What else did you see?" Nico asked, curious as to who was next in your line of critiques.

"Well, overall I just feel like you all need to work on skating techniques. You're all talented, but you suck at the basics sometimes and it looks like you need a refresher course. Also, there never should have been an overtime, let's be real," You took a sip of your wine as you grabbed your phone to open the notes app and see what else you had jotted down that you thought could be improved.

"I'll make sure to tell coach," Nico joked with you.

You sent Nico a glare, but continued reading off your list of all the mistakes made in the game, catching the boys' attention when they noticed you weren't just conversing, but apparently had a whole list of things that went wrong.

"Are you...do you take notes during the game?" Nico began to laugh, watching as you scrolled through the endless comments you made.

"Babe, we're in this together," You looked at him with all of the seriousness evident in your tone.

Jack made the sound and motion of a whip, shooting a devious grin toward his captain. Nico rolled his eyes and groaned.

"I bet you have a finsta and spend your time trolling us," Nico chortled, wanting to be joking, but he's almost positive he's seen some notifications pop up for an instagram account that was definitely not your main.

"Somebody has to humble you all..." You trailed off, smiling as the boys realized you didn't deny it.

"I will spend the rest of the night trying to find it," Luke announced, pulling his phone out and putting his detective skills to the test.

"Good luck with that, Bud," You replied as you immediately went to your finsta and began to block all of the Devils players from your account, beginning with Luke.

Your finsta will be your dirty little secret...

*

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[puckpocketed]

5/08/2023 - Berkly Catton captains Team Canada to gold at the Hlinka Gretzky Cup, leading the tournament with 8 goals and 2 assists in 10 games || 19/01/2024 Meet the Future - Berkly Catton named Team White's captain for the CHL/NHL Top Prospects Game || 5/07/2024 - Berkly Catton signs his ELC with the Seattle Kraken

Introduction, quotes/transcripts/bits and pieces under the cut!

I can't even begin to describe how jazzed I am that Berkly Catton got drafted to a team I already love. I wrote in my Sharks off-season roundup that I was hoping against hope Catton would drop to 14th overall (back before we had moved up to 11th) and the Sharks would snap him up, as unlikely as it was that they'd try to gather more firepower when we sorely needed defensive prospects. I'm so glad I got my wish one way or another <3

Krakenblr you will LOVE this dude. He's such a star. Such a character. Berkly Catton is so, SO fun to watch. You have no idea!!! I followed him in the months leading up to the draft because there was buzz that he might be available lower down because of the Height Issue (he is, tragically, 5'11 <- which makes him undraftable unfortch) + concerns with how his game will translate to the NHL level. He is an electrifying playmaker. He's so creative, throws in so many fakes, WILL break ankles, very good hands... ough <3 everything I personally love to see in a forward all rolled into one neat little package !!!

There's the suggestion that he's been "over-scouted," which really just means they've all been watching him so long they're probably overthinking things and looking for stuff to critique. I'm inclined to believe this take over the other one because I'm an optimist and he was one of my little guys going into the draft! I won't include more of that here, but there's plenty of material out there if you'd like to look for it.

Below are some of my favourite bits and pieces from media he's appeared in <3

“I don’t like to give it away (pause) but I look at guys before games,” Catton revealed. “What’s weird is going from midget to junior hockey is a big jump. Last year I was learning. This year I wanted to add stuff. My pregame stuff and to look at guys doing draws and seeing what works. That’s pre-scouting on my end. If a guy has a certain move, and you can trump it early, it gets in his head a little bit. That helped quite a bit.”

“I think I sometimes have a problem with passing the puck too much. I love seeing my teammates score and setting up for an open net. It’s one of my favourite things in hockey, if not my favourite,” Catton admitted. “That’s something I can work on. When I get a chance put it home kind of thing. I got better this year at it’s still something I’d like to improve. Honestly, I’m a pass first mentality guy I would say.”

- Berkly Catton’s video scouting has improved his overall game

You know, when I first read and saved this article I was like; this prospect who reviews VIDEO is gonna haunt me. That's my weakness btw, I'm freak4freak. If you tell me a hockey player is also deeply infatuated with the game to the point of reviewing tape in their free time that's IT for me. it's JOEVER. i have a type and i know it <3 also wowie a pass-first guy who gets really really happy when his teammates score??? crying. crying. Berkly Catton . tucking uou gently away <3 forever <3

From A Day in the Life: Berkly Catton & Conner Roulette

Fave movie is The Notebook (<- unrelated there's a . really funny comment on this video from a philly fan lamenting that Catton likes the Notebook - I assume because that's some uhhh how do the kids call it,, femme soyboy shit? lmao anyway stay LOSING toxic masculinity !!!)

The boys call him 'Berk' <3

He talks about Jack Hughes being a big influence on him (in other media, he gives Hughes as a player comp!) and going to hang out and work with the Hughes family in Michigan. I sense a thread of admiration here like it's such a sweet little crush LOL <3 I hope he notices you Berkly !!

he gives the player of the match hat to a coach/trainer (one of the two) it's lovely... ouhhh... good little fella so polite and so conscious of staff being the foundation of his success... mwah!!

From Berkly Catton Talks Hockey Sense, His Start In Hockey & More | Game Tape With Tony

His father and grandfather built him a rink in his backyard, very sweet.

1OA in the WHL draft!

Anime main character levels of training-arc... my guy shot thousands of pucks over the summer in his backyard and then came back suddenly able to score goals. <- this is where the DIY goalie made of wood and blocker pads comes in. lol. lmao. are u even real.

sorry. sorry. OLEN ZELLWEGER MENTION. <- one of my personal favourite little guys (undersized puck moving defensemen my BELOVED) "Kind of a funny story [...] I pretty much had a breakaway, when he just turned backwards and played it as a 1-on-1 somehow, and I was like 'wow, this guy's the real deal', so." I really liked how Catton easily recalled a specific person/moment when asked who challenged him the most in the WHL; I think it speaks to a thoughtfulness about the game - it would've been easy to just give a vague Oh Everyone Is Good answer here and I like that he didn't!

There's a section where he talks about how he got so good at stick lifting, such an interesting perspective I never considered - he played in situations and against people where he couldn't just throw his body around to win, so he had to learn to get the puck in other ways. KEVIN KORCHINSKI MENTION <- another one of my little guys <3

mentions his dad being a big influence on his 'patience'. parents are so funny to me. ur watching your sons juniors matches? and Ohhhhh Chris Catton was a hockey player too . it all makes sense. Berkly Catton product of jockdad like so many before him <3

I do love that throughout this interview, Catton defers to his linemates a lot. Always hyping them up and talking about how he owes his success to them. it could be construed as false humility, given Catton was the highest scoring draft-eligible in the league - but he really does go out of his way to emphasise how highly he regards them and how much of their on-ice success is owed to good chemistry built up over the entire season. It strikes me as genuine!! He's a good boy <3

Revealed he can solve a rubix cube at the end... wow... he just liek me fr...

PLEASE watch this on-ice interview where he's chatting after a game and then gets ABSOLUTELY WASTED by 5 water bottles and all the boys. he is clearly so so so beloved in that locker room waaaahhh <3

Anyway this isn't an exhaustive list but it IS a lot of the reasons why I really liked him pre-draft. welcome to the deep Berkly <3

[shiny-jr]

Hellooo I found your work and have been binging it all and I saw that you didn't mind the feedback, so here goes

The retainer!mc felt too much like the YA book trope of 'edgy' Mc, like trying to show a cool and collected vibe but ends up like bella from twilight in a not so flattering way, the others felt like they did something or had the bases for the cast obsession on them to grow, this mc for me missed the mark, and I did felt like stopping mid read because I found them uninteresting, but all the others delivered for me so, I wanted to know how it ended

Also in a post you said about the retainer being important to vil, then shouldn't he show a threat or something to the new one? At least suspicion I guess, it felt to smooth for the MC unlike others

Anon, I saw this message not long after you sent it, but as mentioned in the last post, I got so busy I couldn't respond. But trust me when I say this: your words haunted me.

Don't worry, I'm not offended at all. I welcome the criticism, but goddamn this one... Look, usually when I get criticism, I nod, go "aight", and move on. I don't get offended when people critique my works. But yours legit made me clutch my heart? My pearls? Idk. I was baffled. That one kinda hurted, not gonna lie.

Let me tell you, I've been writing since about 2016. I like to think I have definitely improved. I've gotten countless messages and comments in the years since. Some good, some bad, most good, a few worse. However, I have never really cared in the sense where it stuck with me. But bro, when I tell you this felt like a slap in the face. A bucket of cold icy water being dumped on my head. Don't worry though. It was a probably well deserved metaphorical slap.

The point is, your words were at the back of my head for like a week. I actually discussed it with a mutual, and I think I figured it out. I wrote Pomefiore differently. Pomefiore is the sole result that just feels like its for the simps, probably because I was thinking of them the most when writing it. It was unintentional, I think, but that's the reason I came up with my mind.

Anyways, like I said, not at all offended. Just kinda an eye-opening comment, I suppose. I'm not really bothered if it's not your favorite, because a lot of other people seem to like it. And if there's one thing I learned after years of writing, is that you cannot win them all. No matter what you write, it won't appeal to everyone. That's literally impossible.

Okay, I digress, this has dragged on for too long, but I feel like I had to get that out there and share my response. Again, anon, thank you for your words! I appreciate it, even if it doesn't seem like it.

[minhosimthings]

Call him up. He comes to my bedroom. Ended up we'd fuck on the hotel floor.

Summary: you, Jay, fucking after an award show

Warnings: smut, fem!reader, MINORS DNI, Oral (recieving), some comfort from husband material Jay

A/N: ALRIGHT! First smut work! I definitely need to improve a lot but here you go my babygirls. Also first Jay drabble! YAY! im taking a break from my work and writing whenever I'm at work and just staring at fishies.

Song rec: A&W by Lana del Rey. Yes the title is a lyric from that song. My favourite lyric!

"You wanted to see me baby?" Jay Park. Can anyone in this world get more luckier that you to get Jay fucking Park.

Award shows were boring, but when you had Jay beside you, it made it worth it, for you to stare at that slightly open white shirt with that watch that you gifted him, wrapped around his pretty little wrist. Yet again, L/N Y/N had won another award for best producer of the year. Some more of these and your house will end up becoming a store for selling 'Best producer' awards. Jay's group Enhypen had won 'Best boy band of the year' award this time and you were so proud of him. If not for the slight hiccup.

Being a producer, your ears were probably the most sensitive shit on earth, which enabled you to hear far more further than most people can (I actually have this ability and it's really cool!). Which in turn allows you to eavesdrop easily. But sometimes the eavesdropping isn't always the most comforting thing on this world, and as you heard your fellow producers smoke in the bathroom stalls and say 'She just got that award because she's Jay's girlfriend.' and 'He's so delicious though. Why did he pick that ugly bitch of a whore?'. You weren't really the type of person to cry or feel insecure, I mean after all you were in the kpop industry. Someone was always prettier or more talented than you. But hey, you were raised by some pretty good people, who taught you not to let jealousy take over you. But sometimes even saints abandon their principles in time of desperation. And for you? Your co workers shit talking about you was the time of desperation. You knew being in a relationship in this industry and letting it be public was a risk. But for Jay? Oh honey you'd risk the entire universe to be with him.

"Honey what's wrong? Hey are you crying?" Jay had walked into your hotel room, after you sent a staff member to get him. The afterparty was in the same hotel and you knew Jay would be with the rest of the boys, enjoying, drinking and critiquing every person's outfit. But you just couldn't go and stand there and give fake smiles to your coworkers, and pretend that everything was okay. You needed your boyfriend right now. And Jay would do anything for you, even abandon a party to come up to your magnificent suite. "Baby what's wrong?" Jay sat down on the bed next to you and cupped your cheeks. "You weren't at the party. I brought some food for you." Hearing that only made you sob harder onto your custom made red Prada dress, a gift from the worried man sitting in front of you, wondering silently what he could do to make you feel better as he stroked your hair and put your head against his chest.

"Shh baby shh. What happened?" "I- I heard them s-saying- Jay they think I- don't have- Jay." You sniffled in Jay's chest as he quickly understood what had happened. He had seen your coworkers giggling and approaching him again and again at the party and connecting the dots, it made perfect sense. Tracing the jewels on your dress with one hand and slightly taking off his tie with his other, Jay moved you to the pillow slowly, whilst admiring your figure in that dress. He hadn't had much of a chance to talk to you or see you up close since both of you were seated at different places, far from each other, neither did he have the chance to see you before the show, so when his eyes fell upon the tightly fit fabric on your hips, oh god his entire world came crashing down.

"Jay wha- what are you doi-" "Baby where do you keep the condoms?" You shuddered back as Jay slowly cane above you. "I- I'm on the pill." Jay slowly unzipped your dress, sneaking his hand behind you as you moved your hand to his collar. "Good" he growled against your ear. "You'll see what you're capable of tonight."

"Jay~" you whine as he grinds against your figure, the fabric of your dress slowly getting destroyed and ripped off of your body. You were quick to unbutton his white silk shirt, your gift, and unbutton his pants, throwing away the belt onto the bedside table. Jay moaned lowly as he inhaled the scent of your jasmine perfume, his favourite one. "Shit baby were you always this wet for him?" He teased you as you could do nothing but only whine in response. "Jay ah fuck!" He had slipped his fingers into your cunt, rings still on. The metal of the rings rubbed your pussy so hard, pleasure seeping in and out of you. "Is this ok baby? Or does my love need my cock inside?" "Jay ngh ahh fuck!" He slips himself in at an absolutely brutal pace, that your brain goes dumb and your pussy goes wild. This was heaven like you've never seen it. Jay was angry, so angry, and as his hands felt all of your naked skin, and all of your sadness turning into pure pleasure, satisfaction filled him to the brim. "No Jay don't pull out please." You whine to Jay as he slowly goes back. "Patience baby. Patience. I'll make you feel even better yeah? Give me my belt would you?" You were quick to reach out to the bedside table, where the brown leather belt lay, waiting for its turn. Jay slowly got your hands up and tied them to the bedframe with the belt tightly, as all you were capable of doing was whine and moan for him. "Jay please" He chuckled slowly at your desperate words and made his way down to your ripped pink panties. Pressing light kisses to your pussy, Jay took in your ever sweet whimpers and as his tongue darted out ever so often to flick you cute little clit, it drove you crazy, as you begged and begged for his cock again and again. "Aww does my Y/N want her daddy's dick inside of her now?" You whimpered again as he came up to you, face right above yours, hot breath, tinted with the smell of alcohol hitting your face. "Yes d-daddy please I need it please." You whispered to him. "Anything for my princess." He kissed you with his tongue moving around in your mouth, hands touching your clit, making you moan out his name, in the dirtiest way possible.

"Ah deeper Jay go deeper please." "You like that baby? Want me to cum inside of you hm?" The belt tied around your hands was untied now, as you moved your hands to Jay's pretty neck and thrust him into you. Jay sucked on your nipple softly, love and roses filling the huge room. The bed was definitely strong, because at the rate both of you were thrusting into each other, it should have broke. But then again, the hotel you were in wasn't called the best in the country for no reason.

"Wanna get in the shower baby?" Jay finally pulled out and flopped next to you on the bed, both of your hair and makeup, a mess. "Sure baby. Round two there?" You asked him, massaging your legs. Jay, to your dissatisfaction, shook his head. "No baby. Lets get washed up. We got an event tomorrow don't we? Don't want you limping at the event do we?" You pouted slightly as you remembered the Prada event you had tomorrow and as an ambassador, you had to deliver a speech. Yep another round of sex with Jay right now and tomorrow, nothing would be on your brain other than getting your pussy filled with his cum again. "Alright oh great Park Joengsoeng. I got your lavender shampoo. Wanna use that?" You said while getting up from the bed, completely naked. "Of course baby." Jay replied.

Winning an award tonight was good but getting your actual award with Jay was even better, you thought, as you entered the hot shower, Jay caressing your hips and kissing your neck. Yep you can't wait to get married to this man.

[ganondoodle]

Not gonna lie, the "It looks like a Divine Circle but is actually just hundreds of years of superstition & propaganda"-Concept is the coolest fucking thing I didn't know I needed until ten minutes ago. It's a super cool inversion of the classic trope, opens up a million possibilities for stories and arcs and on top of that, in game, you would obviously not know about it form the beginning but slowly have to collect clues and hints that things are not quite as everyone tells you.

So yeah, very cool concept!

Not directly related, but it's probably no surprise that my favorite Ganondorf line is the "I coveted that Wind"-line from the finale of Wind Waker. He doesn't even go into detail, cause he doesn't have to, this line alone instantly humanizes him. Like, its the end of the game, we are about to fight him, there is no way this will not end in a fight, and yet, at that point, that line, just goes so fucking hard. Because you instantly know what he's talking about, that he simply wanted a future for his people, which, you know, is a very human thing to do. It wont stop us from fighting him here and now, way too much has happened for that, but it reminds us, the audience, that he has motives and reasons and thoughts and is an actual character.

So yeah, in case it's not obvious yet, I too despise the extremely flat "I'm evil because evil, waaaaaaaaagh!" Ganondorf from TOTK. Why even include him if you cant be arsed to actually write him?

Anyways, last thing, I'll have to somewhat disagree on the Gameplay vs Story thing, at least partially because I work in the field and have had experiences with this problem myself. Not saying its impossible to have both, but its a lot more difficult than one would expect.

Towards your point, yes a good story can pull people through a game, but so can strong gameplay. Take the Doom games, I dont really care about their story, but the gameplay is great. On the other hand, the gameplay of the average Telltale game would be incredibly boring without the story behind it. There are hybrids, but even they tend to lean one way or the other: The Assassins Creed or Uncharted Series have solid and fun gameplay, but would probably get repetitive or boring if we didn't have strong characters and stories that keep us interested. And all of that is before you consider that there are different player types that gravitate to one or the other and it gets even more complicated. (There's more to this but I my thoughts on the topic could easily be a full bachelors Thesis, so I'll stop here.)

I should add that I dont think that the gameplay over story (or vice versa) argument can or should be used to defend games or design choices. Yes, Nintendo does prefer to focus on Gameplay over Story. Does that mean we shouldn't expect a good story, or are not allowed to criticize a bad one in their games? Hell no! (And if my previous ask sounded like I was doing that, I apologize, that was NOT what I meant to say! I'll happily critique all of TOTKs flaws, both in gameplay & story, otherwise how can we learn from it?)

This argument can be used to understand and analyze or interpret design decisions but it shouldn't ever be used to defend them. Just like the "just for kids" argument, by using such arguments, the person in question basically admits that they are aware of the weaknesses and faults in their story/game/whatever but didn't fix or improve them. So yeah, I do agree with you on that front 100%, hiding behind such arguments is a problem.

Anyway, sorry for leaving another wall of text in your inbox, hope you're having a nice day!

thank you! that 'cycle' concept is also what destiny (zelda comic) is based on, since it takes place before skyward sword you get to see the set up for it, and, in this story, the gods have been trying to achieve it countless times, throughout the story of it its supposed to slowly be revealed- like demise already knowing some parts since hes yet another 'failed' version of that plan (im reusing that concept for the totk rewrite as well bc i am very original wahoo)

oh you work in that field! thats cool!! yeah my opinion on this sort of thing is very much a thing i formed bc i play games, though i still dream of gamedev, i guess i understood your mention of it a little too much into the dismissive argument way (though not as an attack) and its been repeated so so many times i cant help but get a little >_> at it; the point i was trying to make was more like ... they need to find a balance with it, like you can make it all about gameplay, but then dont pretend you have the most epicest story that ever storied, maybe even do it less or more subtle, like the fromsoft game i feel like are very well balanced in that regard, bc their lore and story is very neat and intertwined, but you have to look and think to get it, and the gameplay is strong on its own so much so that it kinda ends up being both soemthing for people that dont care about lore and those that do, more than about the gameplay

zelda feels like it doesnt quite know what to do (even moreso modern zelda), bc they prioritize the gameplay but then still put in a story that they want understood .. so its like, babiefied? like there is a "simple" story and its few points are repeated into your face over and over and over so the people that dont care to read into soemthing GET IT but also annoy them, bc they dont care anyway, and the people who care about lore/story above gameplay are bored bc the narrative isnt engaging enough and they dont care as much about the gameplay

especially so with totk i think, its so weird, botw wasnt like that imo, it wasnt overly complicated either but at least it left you wondering, and let you think, the more you thought about the more interesting it was (at least to me) totk feels like the opposite, it doesnt want you to think, bc the more you think about it the more it falls apart and makes less sense

like theres types of games that focus HARD on one or the other (like slay the princess for example, its like an interactive audio book, there isnt much gameplay but it goes hard on narrative), so obviously the balance of gameplay and story isnt applicable to every game, but for zelda in particular they say they are one but then still want the other part just as much? like the lore in skyward sword isnt great, the characters are strong though, the gameplay isnt that engaging (to me, since that needs to be said) i got through it mostly just bc i wanted to see what comes next and liked the characters, in botw the freedom and world and gameplay were like nothign i ever experienced, exploring was addictive and the story took a bit of a backseat, but it was fitting for the game and lend itself so well to theorize, in totk they .. idk what the focus was, the .. glue? the toys to glue together? nothing fits together there and each part works against another instead of together, somehow, its so weird to me

the thing is, if you do gameplay over story, you need to roll with it? if thats what it is then let the story take a backseat, make it subtle and in the background or vague, dont stuff the game full of unskippable cutscenes where a character you dont care about explains you a thing you already figured out through the gameplay; like the zelda dragon point, let the design of the dragon and its music, what its carrying speak for itself, the way the deku tree is weirded out by the sword moving, maybe a quick subtle voice line once you get the sword fading away like the last parts of her soul being whispered away- but dont mention it in one of the first cutscenes, fail to bury it in 'thats illegal though and irreversible so nono dont you do it' (why mention it then huh) allude to it multiple times, and then just straight up show it (i get people like the scene but man, it would have been way cooler to figure it out yourself)

same goes for the fake zelda thing, the weird way she said the bloodmoon text already alluded to it, have her show up here and there but vanish before you (no "omg thats zelda omg what is she dooooing") , or go even harder and make her an NPC standing around the world interacting with you all nromally but animals react weirldy to her- make the midfight against her (maybe even that she isnt talking so you are unsure if its actually her but controlled by sth else, or talk all normally while literally going for your throat) and then have her dissolve into goop and woa the bloodmoon thing is without her now the zelda you have been talking to has been fake the whole time, its creepy!! leave out the stupid cutscenes of showing it multiple times!! stop monologing at me!!

ppl that dont care about it can go and do a fight and i can think about it! everyone wins yahoo!

(actually ... if you leave out all the cutscenes in totk i feel like it improves the game by alot ...)

(what my point in the previous thing was in the end that you can repeat the same old trope only so many times without changing anything before it gets boring as hell, like what you said here, and the series seems to really be setting itself on fire bc it just wants to do the trope of old so badly and at some point its gonna drag down even the best of gameplays like gameplay over story means (to me) gameplay is prioritized so whatever narrative there is is in the background, subtle and not overtly in your face with big cutscenes etc- but what i feel like its often supposed to mean is "its fine if theres a shitty story that makes no sense pasted on top bc they prioritize gameplay so stop complaining" like to me what it should mean is more gameplay, less story, a measure of quantity not of quality, but what i feel like it often means is better gameplay, bad story, a measure of quality, not quantity )

maybe my problem lies elsewhere and im just projecting it on gameplay > story, that could very much be the case, i could have a fundamental missunderstanding about this here, im still just a guy with opinions in the end and got no knowledge about anything other than i play games sometimes and these are the things i like and dislike and would do differently *puts my head in my hands*

idk if im making sense, im usually not very good at explaining how i feel or think :/ (or i THINK im bad at it, autism be damned)

(sorry this got so long again ......................)

[painted-bees]

Migraine addled feelings and thoughts about art and me.

My relationship with art is a little strange haha

When people ask me about...what I want to improve on, or what kind of critique or advice I am open to receiving, or anything of that sort, I don't really have an acceptable answer for them.

The simple matter of the fact is that I'm not...actively aspiring towards improving my technical skill. Being good at drawing/painting and taking the serious steps nessicary towards that end isn't really...fun for me, personally. Not as a goal, nor as an intentional part of my process.

I literally just draw for fun. My goal is to have as much fun as possible with each piece I make. If I am not having fun with a drawing, I stop drawing it. Simple as that.

I worry that this kinda chafes some people when the topic of constructive criticism, etc, is brought up. When someone asks me if I am open to critique, my "no thanks" isn't out of arrogance, but rather because critique takes time and energy, and there are artists out there who'll be thankful--rather than indifferent--towards receiving it. Very likely, the critique is a valid and very helpful observation, no denying that. But it is a bit wasted on me, I am afraid.

I approach my drawings as a hobby--like video games. That's my relationship to the craft. Some people might think I am very good at it. Others undoubtedly think I kinda suck at it, or that I could be much better if I took it as seriously as they do (or would). But that's not my goal. I just like drawing and making characters and story things, and sharing them with people who like it. I don't wanna be the best at it, I am not even very interested in striving towards my own "full potential".

I learned years ago that when art stops being fun, I stop making art. And I have learned that technical improvement comes naturally when I just draw a lot. It comes very slowly--on the scale of years--but it does come. I get bored of a technique and try on a different one, or get annoyed at a particular limitation and put the effort in to overcome or problem solve around it. But the pace is driven by personal enjoyment, not a desire for improvement nor even a fear of stagnation. So long as I am having fun, I don't care if my work stagnates. Like playing the exact same level of a game over and over again that is challenging enough to be rewarding, but doesn't exactly contribute to bettering your skill. I don't look at a piece I finished and consider the ways in which I could have done it better. Of course it could have been done better but I made it the way I did, I enjoyed it, and it's done, now. My concern is that hopefully next piece won't fight me and will be just as fun and rewarding to make.

There are people, excellent artists from both professional and hobbyist circles, who find a lot of joy and satisfaction in honing their skill and seeing the steady improvement in the work they produce. I am just not one of those people, haha.

And hopefully that's okay!

Most importantly, the nature of my leisurely enjoyment isn't a belittlement of anyone's hard work and dedication to the craft. We all make art for different reasons, towards different ends, and find joy in different ways♡

[stellavesperis]

Through the Smoke

This is my original work and I do not give permission for this to be reposted outside of tumblr, or used in any other sort of way without my expressed permission. Please be respectful of it.

Oki doki! Now that I'm actually getting around to posting this, I'm a little bit nervous about it lol, but here is my short orchestral piece "Through the Smoke" based on the aftermath of Dagor Bragollach. This isn't exactly part of the Noldolantë project that I'm working on, but this is a taste of my style and contains the main musical themes I do intend to work into it. It was ultimately inspired by a fanfic I read by @sweetteaanddragons called "Through the Smoke I See You" about Maglor's defense of the Gap, which proceeded to stew in my brain until another scene developed from it (see below cut for more). Be forewarned, this is an MP3 sound file derived from a notation software, so expect the instrument quality to match that. Additionally, that initial theme/meter transition is a bit rough because I can't get the playback to do what I want it to do :(. This wouldn't happen ideally in an actual performance with intuitive players. (I want to say feedback is appreciated because I want to improve, but I also don't know if I can take super harsh critiques right now, so keep it gentle if you must). A lengthy discussion of the music and the scene below.

The Scene in Question:

In the original fic, Maglor is trying to prove some things by defending the Gap at all costs, resulting in him having to be dragged away from the battle unconscious to Himring (I won't say much more about the fic because you should go read it. It's short and worth your time). It's narrated from Maglor's perspective. The scene which then presented itself to me was from Maedhros' perspective. After successfully defending Himring, he was waiting on the battlements and staring off into the smoky, glowing haze that blanketed all of Beleriand as far as the eye could see. For all he knew, his was the only stronghold that had fended off Morgoth's attacks. There was the faintest of rains that allowed a brief respite from the burning ash-laden air. Off in the distance, the sentinels spot several horses running from the direction of Maglor's lands- it's unclear at first who their riders are, but once they recognize them, Maedhros lifts his heart that someone else is still alive and rushes to the gates to meet his brother, who he then realizes is wounded.

More on the Music itself:

I deliberated for a while which of my WIPs to post because all of them have interconnected musical motifs, which you have to have heard in the previous piece to understand its meaning, but I settled for this one because I was the happiest with where it was. It also contains several different character themes/ leitmotifs that I get to talk about.

The first theme to make an appearance is the B section of Maedhros' theme, pitched higher on the violin. This is his secondary theme, which was originally played on the horn (White Fire is the next piece I'd like to post, so you can understand this more fully). I definitely intend to use this going forward. I begin to overlap this with what I've decided to call the Main Theme/Overture of the Noldolantë, which creates a lot of dissonance before opening up more fully around the one minute mark (the meter transition really is rough to capture on the notation software I was using, neither the ritardando nor the breath I scripted show up in the recording) Around 1:23, it opens up into a theme that vaults up before coming back down that I've used for Maglor basically ever since I first read the Silmarillion. I've played it so many times I’ve lost the capacity to determine if it is actually a good fit for him- it just is his theme and my music would be vacant without it. This leitmotif is adjoined to the main theme for the Noldolantë. Underneath Maglor's theme is the harp line I used for Maedhros' return from his capture (i.e. a subtle reminder that he couldn't save his brother from Thangorodrim, his guilt being the driving force of his actions in the fic, as well as the pulse of his theme here).

At this point in time, I kinda just started having fun with the music to see what else could be fit together, so be less concerned with what the themes mean narratively. The first four notes (me re me do) that begin after the caesura at 1:40ish have also been associated with the Sons of Fëanor ever since I read the Silmarillion, and I haven't been able to resist using them in my cadences whenever possible. The harp line at this part actually belongs to the viola line from "Finwë and Indis". Finally, the violin (te le sol sol) is the abbreviated leitmotif for the Silmarils. This is a super short motif on purpose because I can work it into a variety of settings and disguise it underneath a lot of other lines without detracting too much from anything else that's going on, just enough to be a subtle reminder of their presence (or lack thereof).

Whew! That was a lot. Thank you again to anyone who took the time to read/listen. I really appreciate the support I've received from you all in the past few weeks- it's given me the courage to be a bit more bold about my music. I hope that it lives up to your expectations :)

(And thanks again to @sweetteaanddragons for letting me post this!)

[writingquestionsanswered]

I am in a pickle with writing. I do fanfiction and put out a few duds, aware they weren't exactly my best work so not severely disappointed when they failed to perform. Then I spent months on a longer more involved work that I thought was better. It also failed to perform. This time my confidence was shattered. I took time off writing to recover but now I just don't know how to get back at it. My ideas feel either stale or too big and typing is like pulling teeth.

Confidence Shattered by Under Performing Stories

I'm not sure whether these three duds stories and one more involved story are your entire body of work, or whether you mean that you're a seasoned fan-fiction writer with lots of stories and positive feedback, but you also have a few duds and this more involved work that also under performed.

It matters, because if you're a more seasoned fan-fiction writer with a large body of work behind you, and you're saying those three duds didn't bother you but this more involved work does, I'd say not to be discouraged because more involved works are a whole different beast, and your first one isn't going to be your best one. But keep at it, because your next involved work will be even better.

If, on the other hand, the few duds and the more involved work are your whole body of work, you haven't done enough yet to lose hope. Writing is a craft, after all, and you can't write a few stories (no matter how involved) and hope to be doing work that's good enough to do really well. (And, the caveat here is that yes... some people can write one story and it's their best work, but most of us don't have that natural talent.) So, here again I'd say don't be discouraged, because honing any craft takes time and practice. You may even want to find a critique partner or utilize beta readers so you can get some feedback and know where you need to improve.

As for the confidence and motivation, those will come back. Your confidence will rebuild as you realize you were holding yourself to unreasonably high expectations, and as you're able to credit yourself with the time and effort you've put in and the growth you've already done. The motivation will build as your confidence heals, too.

Some things that might help: write for yourself for a little while. Do some story prompts and write some fan-fiction or short stories. See if you can find some beta readers or a critique partner who is familiar with the source material and see if they'd be willing to read your stories and offer feedback about what works and what doesn't. You might also try reading the feedback/reviews of others' stories to see if you can see parallels with your writing, and maybe get an idea of where you could improve things.

Also, have a look at my Motivation master list, as it has some posts that deal with self-doubt, building confidence, and rekindling motivation. ♥

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[uninformedartist]

My Final Post Regarding Velvette As a Character

And I must say it ends on a good note :) sort of.

Original twitter thread: https://twitter.com/OhTheSunnySide/status/1643798183674249216?t=ta0YMJ4NpmkticJXIuqqZQ&s=19

Oh the sunny side gave a wonder critique on hairstyles of ethnic characters on two upcoming indi animations, Far fetched and Pen pals forever. The critique came from a black person and was a sound and valid critique. The response from Ashley and Marie exemplifies how a creator especially one who is making or trying to make an independent animated series should respond to critique especially from ethnic voices.

Just look at these responses from both creators, so beautiful to see like this warmed my heart to see how Ashley and Marie took the critique. Marie said they will better even going as far as hiring the right people and Ashley stating that she'll revisit Piper's design in the final series. But sigh enough about this absolutely positive critique and creator response this is what should have happened with Velvette. Over so many years ethnic voices have critiqued Velvette's design in it lacking all ethnic features yet Viv wants to push she's a black woman. She was even hostile to an artist who redesigned Velvette from the leaked character sheets and said the person whitewashed Velvette in the redesign but she's bloody grey ashy toned in her original design like I cannot what. Anyhow her design still could've improved in the final series and...

Yeah nope. My point in all of this is listen to ethnic voices especially if you're an independent project because that is truly where you can make representation shine. Viv prides herself on starting Hazbin as an independent animated project and time and time again got wonderful criticism to better her especially ethnic characters like Vaggie, Val, Alastor, Niffty, Velvette and the list can go on. But she didn't she took all criticism from these voices as an attack on her and basically said "stuff your critique and wanting to see better more accurate representation my designs are perfect and need no changes". And I know Viv is half Salvadorian but that doesn't negate from the fact her ethnic characters are badly designed, Marie is Chinese but took that criticism with care and would better because she is not part of that ethnic group of one of her characters and is making a show that highlights representation so they will better the character's design, just beautiful to see. Viv as we all know doesn't take criticism well I get it but to shut out ethnic voices on designs you could've changed on so many occasions (basically over 10 years really since she had these characters for so long) is deeply insulting and heartbreaking. And that old excuse on "its just her artstyle" is bull its not even valid for a number of logical reasons if your artstyle cannot be pushed to incorporate ethnic features, I don't need to go into how bad that is.

In closing, listen to ethnic voices especially if you're making independent animated projects, animation on its own is unique medium to show representation without restrictions, its an open playing field you literally design the character you can do justice to representation. And if you're designing a character out of your ethnic group reach out, heck sometimes we make mistakes designing characters from our own ethnic group, ahm Vaggie. And lastly being independent you can get a lot more viewer feedback and engagement and that can be the most helpful. Marie and Ashley I hope live up to their word as I'm exited on both their series, wish Viv did the same but oh well we'll just be repeating ourselves, same old story thats set in stone hmm.

Edit: sorry if I used the wrong phrases or words, my English is on holiday now haha

[the-knight-of-destiny]

Okay, so long long ramble under the cut about the nature of Ratgrinder Discourse™, I'll preface by saying that I don't want any of this to get hostile with anyone, because I think that's frankly silly to do over a webshow. That said I am also open to critical discussion so if anything I say doesn't make sense, or doesn't track I'm open to critique on it! Obviously spoilers up to Episode 19 of Fantasy High Junior Year underneath. Also it is a VERY long post, several pages, so don't click read more if that'll be overwhelming/too much at once. I just had to get my thoughts into words.

So, this will be long but I'll try to break it up. For clarity I want to establish my main point and give a quick TL;DR here, so here's the short version, long version even further below. My main points are as follows: 1: It is okay to not be happy with how a narrative is going in a show/story you enjoy. Critique is not hate, if anything it's a form of praise in a way. People wouldn't be having such long and frequent discourse about D20 and it's current season if they didn't feel strongly. 2: Similarly, we as an audience have a very different perspective of the entire story unfolding compared to the Intrepid Heroes/Cast. I think a lot of people jump to assumptions about the cast's thought process when that really isn't something we can gauge beyond what they say in episode and on Adventuring Party. 3: For me at least, even if I am left unsatisfied by an ending it doesn't ruin the fun I had in a work. Now if you just wanted my bullet point thoughts without elaboration, there they are! The rest of this is going to be an insanely long ramble (seriously, exit now if you aren't up for that, it's pages long) that I don't expect anyone to read, but I like to get my thoughts outta my brain. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, in regards to the Ratgrinders dying in the fashion they have, there's been a lot of discussion on literally every place there is to discuss Dimension 20, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, I'm sure other places as well. Really it all comes back to one thing, Dungeons and Dragons is a game, but Dimension 20 is a show. We as viewers have some level of narrative expectation, now for everyone that's different. Some folks have specific hopes for plot and character arcs. Others just want a general vibe, but the cast are players. Sure they are performers, but they are players in a game in equal measure. I've alluded to this before but a lot of the sincere vitriol to antagonists thus far (and especially the Ratgrinders) comes from the fact that the players have been fully immersed in a world and as characters where the Ratgrinders have been a constant thorn in their side for tens of hours of play time. Obviously one can still not like how they've engaged with them (I'm still not sure how exactly I feel about it,) but a lot of it is coming from that distinct perspective. When Fig took Ruben out, she specifically was frustrated because she 'wasted her season' on him. There's a meta level of Fig being angry with Ruben as a character who shares a world with him, versus Emily being frustrated as a player that a lot of her in-game actions did not hash out. That's actually totally natural, by the way. The interesting way that DnD serves both as a narrative of the characters in the setting, but also of the players rolling dice is part of what makes actual play like Dimension 20 so interesting. It's why I think SOME of the disappointment with Brennan and the Intrepid Heroes comes from a strange place, we literally cannot experience the story the same way the cast have. We get a week between chunks of story, they film the episodes in batches. We can think for as long as we want about our critical thoughts, they have to improv on the fly. We get to watch the Ratgrinders as antagonists in a story, the IH are actively hindered in their gameplay by the Ratgrinders as enemies.

That said I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about some aspects of Protagonist Centric Morality™ in this. Oisin having a mildly flirty conversation with Adaine once when he had ulterior motives is a deeply awful manipulation, but Fig catfishing Ruben the better part of an entire year is her trying to reach out and understand him (?). Kipperlilly threatening to desecrate Eugenia's grave is deeply fucked up, but Riz openly advocating mutilating Oisin's body for tactical reasons, and Fabian loudly declaring he intends to do the same to Ivy for literally just his own self-satisfaction are 'fun unhinged moments'.

Before I go on, obviously the Ratgrinders are the bad guys. They're taking part in an evil plan, they've done villainous things throughout the season, especially very recently, etc. This isn't some argument that the Bad Kids are secretly the real monsters or something, obviously not. I just think it's odd that people read into the Bad Kids' actions in the best possible light at all times and the inverse for the Ratgrinders. This protagonist centric morality also comes down to the true reason behind any and all of Fantasy High's villain redemption. Ragh gets redeemed because the player characters think he's possibly useful and/or endearing. Aelwyn gets redeemed because she personally helps Adaine. The only one that Brennan really pushed forward on his own was Zayn, who they barely engaged with. People compare the Ratgrinders to Penelope and Dayne a lot, and understandably so. However I think this is sort of the complication and in my opinion, the silver bullet to understanding what's actually happening with the Ratgrinder's narrative place, Dayne more specifically. He does very little evil on screen. I mean, he injures Fabian and is most likely the one who killed Zayn, but comparatively to Aelwyn, he does almost nothing. He gets killed without so much as a thought, and in a fun (?) parallel to current Ratgrinder discourse, does actually have his body desecrated after death by Fabian. Because he hurt Fabian personally. Aelwyn gets forgiven of doing a lot of terrible shit (and this isn't Aelwyn hate, she's like my favorite NPC.) because it didn't directly affect any of the Bad Kids besides Adaine, and even the bad stuff that did affect Adaine can be sort of off-loaded onto their parents. So it's why I say this discourse is tough, people inevitably say "Well, the Ratgrinders are villains, of course they'll get killed." And this isn't inherently a wrong statement, they look at the bad things the group is doing and understand they must be stopped, why are people upset clearly bad guys get beat and/or killed in DnD games? Because they aren't actually getting killed in such brutal ways because they're bad guys, it's because they personally annoyed or hurt the Bad Kids. This is also why Ratgrinder fans often feel both frustrated and vindicated at once (I speculate, but I feel it's a safe assumption,) because on a meta level Kipperlilly is literally right. Her friends and likely herself are getting ripped to shreds because they crossed the special protagonists, because they started to really frustrate the Intrepid Heroes. The Bad Kids have forgiven atrocities before, but the Intrepid Heroes are really quick to dismiss and kill people they find annoying.

The ultimate example I feel of this, is Mary Ann. Ruben gets blasted into hell because his actions personally annoyed the players, Ivy gets stabbed to death while being repeatedly insulted and threatened with mutilation because her actions personally annoyed the players.

But Mary Ann is the one they all think they can redeem or save, because her personality is more cute and endearing to the players. That kind of says it all better than I ever could.

[dollscircus]

I know that this is likely a question you get a lot but... How do I start learning art? I'm not meaning 'just practice' but rather *what* should I practice? What aspects of art should I start with? What are the fundamentals that I have to get down above everything, and what are some of the ways you've found to be most effective to learn them? What aspect of the drawing process should I essentially abandon before I'm better at drawing (in essence, what are the pitfalls and most time consuming aspects that don't actually help that much - it just makes you think you improve?)

Sorry for the long ask, I'm just feral for your art and want to learn how to draw like you so I can inflict more Ranger x Clair upon the world.

I started my art journey with a lot of brute force learning since I was like 7.

So if I really had to say? Learn how the human body works. How it can bend and move. The joints in a human body. Anatomy. That’s kinda stuff! And starting with drawing people naked in a good place to learn how to draw the body. Clothes get in the way.

Don’t be afraid to use references pictures, even trace over them to understand the body. (If you are tracing, only trace over actual people not others art) I personally use Pinterest to find poses to reference.

And don’t abandon anything while you’re learning, art is bc a liner journey of learning. You’ll be better at some things then others.

Also! Push yourself out of your comfort zone with art. Don’t practice just the stuff you know you can do. Draw the stuff you struggle with because you won’t improve if you don’t.

And thank you so much for the compliment!! That’s very sweet of you. (Sorry if my thoughts are very scattered. I tried to keep it organised.)

If you ever draw something and would like a friendly critique, my DM’s are open. And if any other artist want to comment, please do! Id like to hear what you guys think

[starrysharks]

(positive) thoughts on black madoka

-the contrast with homuras pale skin means they'd look really good as a pair, imagery like them holding hands and the such would look so nice

-as an artist that often has thoughts on making characters black solely through a color scheme angle, if anything I'd say make her darker so you can get more contrast with her bright light pink hair

-YOUR COLORS ARE SOOOO GOOD just so cute and bright and fun and candy like and harmonious

-lastly as a white person I'm wondering if you'd have any advice or if you have any pet peeves with darkerskined character designs, I choose my ocs skin tone solely based on the color scheme (and whenever i draw canon characters with darker skin i tend to do so based on their pallette and to get more variety in the cast) and sometimes I get worried I could accidentally be making 'poor representation' sense I'm not considering they're race at all. (like I don't even decide if they're black or like, Indian or some other race/ethnicity with darker complexions) and so many 'guide on drawing black characters' focus on more like, realistic stuff (like don't de-saturate the skin tone[what if the color scheme calls for it???]) and honestly most of them make me scared to draw black characters at all because i'm scared I'll do it wrong, i want to play around with stylizing fun hair styles but I don't because I'm worried I'm not 'allowed' to as a white person

-anyway have a good day your art is top tier, like i've spent time studying how you use shapes and colors to improve my own art level top tier (i also have aheavy focus on shapes in my art :3)

firstly, thank you for the compliments on my madoka design!! i did also draw her with contrast and pallete in mind. when it comes to my own designs, usually it's a mix of what aids the color pallete and representation, i guess - i want to make fun, diverse casts, so i make sure to put a lot of variety in character races and ethnicities. sometimes it's also because i think a black character would be awesome in a pre-existing trope that's usually only delegated to white characters - such as the cute and confident girl-next-door mallow, or the badass gunslinger lunette! that's also another reason why i wanted to draw mado black, as there is an obvious shortage of adorable "moe" black girls in general media, let alone anime.

when it comes to learning how to draw non-white people for white artists, i would say one thing - talk to the demographic you are drawing! many black artists are open to questions, and there's even a trend going on twitter where black artists are drawing curly and coily hairstyles in their own styles. feel free to experiment with stylisation, but i would really recommend both directly taking from real life references and talking to black people for advice and critique! and when it comes to different lighting, there's a world of guides and references to black skin in all styles from realistic to cartoony. also about desaturation to fit a piece's pallete - it's fine (for me), so long as it fits the rest of the piece's saturation levels. think of it as the 'rule of thumb' for lightening dark skin in pastel art - when everything including the skin is lightened, we can tell what the original tone of the skin is. of course i am just one black guy and am not the spokesperson, so please talk to other black artists (and other non-white artists) for advice if you feel you need to!

[ultrainfinitepit]

Saw your post about the coloring contest. I've also seen you getting a lot of unsolicited critiques about your coloring choices for the pride collection. I imagine that can't be helping with how you're feeling about your coloring choices. So I just wanted to say that I've really liked what you've done so far with the coloring.

When it comes to applying colors to pride flags, there's only so much obvious variation you can do, and there will always be a percentage of people who won't like the chosen coloring. Still, if you are not feeling confident, I'm sure people would have a lot fun with the coloring contest. Plus, you wouldn't necessarily have to choose a winner for every design.

Ultimately, I'm a fan of what you've been doing and I think many others likely agree. But if this is starting to feel overwhelming, coloring contests might ease that <333

Thanks for the kind message Anon, it really helps. The critique is starting to get to me, it's almost making me regret embarking on this redesign journey. I originally started the redesigns because my original designs got enough critique where I started to dislike them. It's more than I get for my other art by a long shot. I think it's because Pride flags are so personal to people, they want the designs for them to be just right. I just hope I can stay in love with the redesigns long enough to actually make them!

As an artist I want to be open to critique that will improve my art. But in the end I'm also only human, I put my heart into my work and I hate to see it fall short in the eyes of others.

Anyway, I appreciate your input, and it gives me confidence to know that you like my colors. Once I finish all the sketches I'm going to put away the Pride Angels for a long time so I can approach them in the future with fresh eyes. At that time maybe I'll feel better about sticking with my color choices, or decide to let others give them a try. We shall see!

[old-school-butch]

Let me explain how i think so you can answer the question better: Personally i don't think being trans makes you perfectly that sex, like I've seen post surgical images, it's a rough approximation, also i don't think minors should get hormones or surgery. I think some people unfortunately transition when they had other issues like female shame to sort out. It seems like other people feel a gross discomfort towards their bodies and transitioning cured it or at least helped it. I just, with all the back and forth, I really want to support something that will help my friends who are suffering. ------ So if there's research into alternate cures, that's something I would be interested in learning more about. Because I just don't want my friends to suffer. I have a close friend who was born a woman and is mostly attracted to men, but sees transitioning as a way to fix the crippling incongruency he's felt since childhood, he sort of sees it like disease and cure. He helped me thru a lot of stuff like when i first came out. So i really just want to support what will help people.

That’s very admirable anon. There’s not enough kindness in the world so being good to people who’ve been good to you is a wonderful thing.

Having a body is a difficult thing, it seems, for many people. So approach this problem with this frame-setting: they aren’t alone with this problem. Age, ability, size, race, and any number of smaller physical attributes have bedeviled many people over space and time to varying degrees. This is not a special or unique issue, it's a human issue and thus you can learn from other people and their strategies. Much of my critique of the modern medical approach is its ineffectiveness in reducing suffering, and causing harm by trying to treat the wrong thing. Even the more difficult mental illnesses like dysmorphia and dysphoria have been difficult to medically resolve. The most effective strategies have been time, and the acceptance that comes with maturation over time.

Older research, led by scientists and not activists, who study actual outcomes instead of self-reported feelings over longer periods of time find little support for long term improvement in mental health with medical transition. I’ve knew a trans man who passed effectively, had supportive friends and family, jobs that were basically talking about being trans… who still committed suicide. It was my first eye opening realization that maybe this wasn’t the cure-all it was advertised to be. Further research has confirmed this for me - the benefits don't last because the promises are not fulfilled. You can't ever, in the end, be anyone you're not.

Friends with eating disorders who struggled to 'fix' their bodies to conform to their ideas only stabilized their health when they learned to accept their bodies as imperfect, or even unimportant, and focus on other aspects of their existence. With aging, I have found that I'm happier when I stop the search for new wrinkles and accept, with difficulty I'll admit, the loss of strength and poise that comes with age. Acceptance isn't easy - because underneath our fear of looking old is the fear of actually being old, the deeper fears - and truths - of being less desirable, less socially important and ultimately closer to dying. Fussing about grey hairs is just a distraction from these deeper unpleasant truths, but endless rounds of plastic surgery and skin peeling is a self-inflicted torment that pushes the pain down the road, but never resolves it.

Acceptance is not a passive process, it's a long and difficult journey, but still the best odds of success and far less torturous that standing still and feeling helpless in the torrent of unhappiness.

Acceptance is not about feeling suddenly happy about something that's unpleasant. It's still unpleasant, still frightening, but you take courage and face the fear rather than turn your back on it or try to bargain your way around it. It's a curious experience, but real joy can only come after you've tasted grief because grief teaches us that everything is fleeting. True calm follows the moment when you swallow fear and start digesting it, because fear guides us to where we can find purpose.

Acceptance is not a meek process, it's a radical and bold questioning of your thinking. Changing how you think can change the way you feel. This is the miracle of life, to keep changing.

So, how then do the thoughts about her body lead to 'incongruity' exactly? Why does she believe congruity is possible or even necessary? Is she imagining her 50 year old self when she contemplates her path into the future? What freedoms, what futures, what responsibilities change for her when she changes the evidence of her womanhood? How will people treat her differently? How will she treat herself differently? There are far more straight men than gay ones, how does 'being a man' serve her in her quest to find a male partner? And most important, what lies underneath? This is less about looking like a woman than a rejection of physical evidence that she is a woman. How is that going for her? Where could she take her life, if she lived as a woman on her own terms? She changes everything she touches. And everything she touches, changes.

[gold-rhine]

I saw your post about star rail from a few days ago and I found it interesting. I’ve been wanting to try sr for a while now because everyone keeps saying how much better than genshin it is, but the weird part is all they ever talk about are the quality of life things. The resin system, the daily quest system, or all the rewards they get every update, but no one actually talks about if the game is good. Y’know, the story, the combat, the exploration, the things that actually matter. You’re the first person I’ve seen mention that stuff and you don’t seem to think much of them. I haven’t exactly gone out of my way to look for critiques of the game, but I’d think that if the game was really all that more people would be jumping to praise the important stuff.

asdfgh i think i already said it in one post but my conspiracy theory is that genshin didn't do these small quality of life improvements just so they could do them in hsr as a marketing ploy. but like, genshin and hsr are not really comparable. hsr is nothing like genshin in actual gameplay, it shares gacha and character design, but genshin is an open world exploration-focused real time combat game with hundreds of hours of available free content and hsr is turn-based with zero exploration and some roguelite modes. they are not even the same genres.

why do you think hsr has more free rewards? bc you cannot get primos otherwise, you cannot explore or do hangouts, there are very few quests in comparison to genshin. even with hsr more generous rewards i got less wishes in hsr per banner than in genshin on my f2p where i do some exploration and side quests.

like i think hsr is good enough game for what it is, which is like, a mobile-oriented time waster with very pretty animations. like i got horny dan heng just bc his burst looks so cool and is in my fav color scheme. i'm wary to rec it to ppl just bc its gacha, bc like. spending money on the game where most of your combat will be game playing itself bc how easy it is would be insane to me. i already wrote about it tho

[caspersickfanfics]

Beta Reader Needed!

Fic Warnings: force feeding (in the torture way not the kink way), vomiting, literal torture, extreme exhaustion, blood, injuries, needles, fainting, probably scat/diarrhea in the context of illness*

General Summary: Tighnari and Cyno were kidnapped and tortured. They get rescued but Cyno gets sick back at home, and Tighnari quickly realizes that the two events are not unrelated.

Fic Length: Currently at around 1800 words, draft still in progress. I'm guessing it'll come out around 5000 or less when it's done but this is just an estimate.

Deadline: None at the moment! I typically like posting within 1 week of finishing a draft just because I'm a bit. Impatient. But I can easily add a week or two to that timeline (or even more) if needed. I will, however, set some kind of flexible deadline once the first draft is finished and we've talked just because I like to know what to expect/plan for.

What I'm looking for:

Someone who will be really honest but also kind about their feedback is a must! I'm asking for this because I want some level of critique to help improve my writing. At the same time, it needs to be kind and constructive.

Doesn't need to be another writer - in my (limited) experience, readers can have equally helpful insights.

Note that my goal is not to find someone to help me with typos/grammar. My priority is developing the story - I'm looking for someone who can help me identify places where I can expand, things that could be cut out, parts of the fic that are unclear, and especially someone who wants to help amplify the angst and hurt/comfort aspects.

Probably sharing the fic via Google Drive would be easiest but I'm open to suggestions on that front. Please DM me, reply to this post, or send me a non-anon ask if interested or if you have any questions!

*Certain fic warnings can be avoided - if it's a small part of the fic, I can just cut it out from the beta reading process and edit that bit on its own, so don't let that stop you from reaching out if you're otherwise interested