#I'm so hyperfixated that I wasn't able to draw for a month

[mintyspacecadet]

I'm fixated on the iwtv show and I'm reading the vampire lestat and it's killing me, i love this little idiot freak with my whole heart

[literallyjusttoa]

Finally got around to doing this, here are some rough sketches of my idea of how Lester looks each book! Some books are more different than others, like I don't think much changed between books 1 and 2, but I had fun doing this! Look under the cut for some notes about things I added for each design.

Book 1: Not much changes from how he's described in the books. All of the clothes he borrowed from Percy are a bit too big for him, but the flannel he borrowed from Will fits pretty well, only being slightly too long (I think Will has like, an inch over Lester)

Book 2: Basically the same as book 1 Lester. He keeps the flannel Will gave him, but it gets pretty beat up over the course of this book so he has to switch it out before book 3 :(. Hair is just a lil bit longer, and he gets clothes that fit a bit better. Headcanon time bc if Rick won't give me substantial Thalia and Apollo interaction I'll make it myself: Thalia gives Lester archer's gloves at the end of TDP, which he wears for the rest of the series. He didn't even think to wear gloves bc as a god he wouldn't need them, but Thalia noticed his beat up to shit hands at the Waystation and went "bestie... bestie no...." and gave him a pair.

Book 3: Will's flannel has been swapped for a big coat and Lester get his iconic pink camo pants. His hair is long enough to start getting weighed down a bit, and also way messier bc he's been in the labyrinth for like a month. The beat up sneakers he was wearing in books 1 & 2 get replaced with much more reasonable boots. Eyebrow scar shows up, a reminder from one of the many concussions this poor man has suffered. Also another HC time! Georgie gives Lester a little handkerchief that he wears for the rest of the series (I was gonna use Paolo's handkerchief, but Lester canonically gives that back so boo)

Book 4: The Lester looks like shit book /j. His hair is now long enough that he should really be doing something with it but he is not. He has a zip up hoodie now to cover up all his fun purple veins. Just more beat up in general honestly. Also I hc that Apollo actually lost some weight here (both bc he wasn't really eating well before getting to New Rome bc of stress/grief, and bc he got really sick and continued to not eat well while that was happening) But it obviously doesn't do anything to help his self-esteem or mood in this book. Kind've a visual way of being like "the superificial flaws Apollo clung to in the first book weren't the real issue, he was just hyperfixating on them to distract himself from what he was really upset about, so when the superficial issues get solved he doesn't even notice bc he's grown enough as a character to cut the bullshit and focus on what's really bothering him." or idk something like that. I like to contrast this with a hc I've mentioned before about the time between books 4 and 5, which is that the physical flaws Apollo whined about in book 1 (i.e. the acne and his weight) get "worse" throughout the road trip from California to New York, but Apollo truly just does not care that much about that shit anymore and that's why it doesn't come up in the narration.

Book 5: Final Lester! It's been over a month since the last book so I'm taking liberties and saying Lester's hair is long enough to pull up now bc I want him to be able to do that goddammit. Final outfit is borrowed from Percy again, so that's why it's so big. He also has a pendant that Lavinia gave to him bc they're besties. Also I forgot to mention it, but his shoulders are slightly broader here (and have been getting broader throughout the series) bc he's been working those muscles so much with the constant archery.

Also I didn't draw his quiver bc honestly I forgor, but I like to imagine he's been getting little pins and bobs from a lot of his friends that he's been sticking on his quiver strap. A few examples that come to mind are:

Kayla: A classic hot topic pin with a sun with sunglasses on it.

Leo: A pin made of scrap metal with the alchemical symbol for fire carved in.

Agave: Pinned a clover to Apollo's quiver for good luck. It didn't stay on there long, but it was the thought that counted.

Hazel: A piece of citrine decorated with metal cords.

Lavinia: Another classic hot topic pin, this one is heart shaped and has a picture of Hatsune Miku on it.

Jason: One of the monopoly houses he'd been using to mark the positions for the temples. A lot of the little houses had fallen off the diorama during the car crash at the beginning of TTT. The night after, Apollo asked Reyna if he could make sure the diorama was fixed. Reyna agreed, and he put it back together based on what he remembered. He spent an hour or so gluing on houses and hotels for Mars, Somnus, Fons, Salus, and on and on, until he got to the last one. A red hotel meant to show where the temple of Apollo would go. Apollo poked a little hole in it, and fastened it to his quiver with a bobby pin. It's nestled close to where the strap meets the quiver itself, so it's less likely to fly off.

Meg: Pinned a rose petal to his quiver right before he went to fight Python. It lasted for even less time than Agave's clover did, but again, it was the thought that counted.

[kaonarvna]

「 does this count as a still life? 」

I haven't drawn any transformers since I was a kid, watching reruns of G1 at odd hours, and the occasional VHS tape of (???). I haven't even thought about transformers for well over a decade, but as of about a month ago it's gone full hyperfixation and it's all I think or talk about.

I'm so accustomed to drawing human people I didn't even know where to start, but I've had The Urge™™ to start making stupid shit of my boys. So I just, figured I'd start with sketching my silly toys and got a little carried away tonight. Just sitting there with the laptop, staring at my stupid purple bastard.

All I have at the moment is stupid purple bastards. I have three of them. I adore him. Really following my usual pattern of eating up tragic creatures capable of absolute atrocities.

And I bring my stupid little toys everywhere with me in the house. They come with me. I don't know if it's the high of recently having obtained them, and wanting them around, or because I wasn't able to have any transformers toys as a kid (secondhand and antique store toy child; probably ate some lead paint). But. I adore them. I can't get enough of my stupid purple menaces. I usually just sit them all on the edges of things, or resting on these tiny plush doughnuts I have.

I've decided that they like resting on the plant pots. Half because it's easy, and half because they just look at ease. They look restful. I like that for them.

[amphiptere-art]

I just want to apologize to the general following. Whether you are a mutual or follower. ADHD sporadic hyperfocus is a lovely goddamn thing.

So yes, I technically stopped watching Tsams for my own health. And although I said I wasn't leaving the fandom. Without the daily uploads to keep my brain on it. It unfortunately fades.

For your little knowledge. I have something called hyperfixation. Where I will focus on a little thing a lot. This combined with my lovely ADHD. Means that that hyperfocus shifts near constantly. Without something to keep me grounded to a specific topic. There is a very high likelihood that I will move on to the next one.

Which is unfortunately happening.

The silky star cluster is still on my brain. But a lot of my other AUs aren't. A combined fact of just people not having anything to ask about them, and me not being able to come up with scenarios. Which is unfortunately causing my brain to try and latch on with anything that it can define as current and fun. This is unfortunately hurting my focus on the sulky star cluster.

If perhaps I had more of my ask blogs getting stuff, or even just a general bigger audience on the silky star cluster. Perhaps I could focus on it better. But as of right now. Well. It's not there.

What is on the forefront of my mind is Dim. Hollow Knight, And perhaps iron lung and alien worlds. Only one of these is connected to the FNAF fandom. And none of them are connected to tsams.

I am desperately attempting to focus back on Tsams. But with no roleplay asks to answer, and no role plays of my own to ask. There is nothing but the sulky star cluster keeping me attached. Which is unfortunately not a lot.

It's 4 grumpy eclipses and a single bear grumping around. There isn't really a story or narrative. It's a collection of snippets. There's a reason I don't talk about it outside of roleplay or ask scenarios. Because it's literally just a collection of scenarios.

I don't want to lose this fandom. I still love the fandom. But I cannot deny that I am fighting my instincts to just try and hold on. My sporadic hyperfocus just isn't working with me. There's no new or fun scenarios to think of. There's no responses to complete, and the sulky star cluster is only being really entertained by one person. Plus the burnout is high with the sulky star cluster. Talking for five characters that ramble?? I can only get through like maybe one or five asks before I just want to sit down and stop thinking about it. Plus the fact that I'm trying to force myself to draw and slow down.

I'm trying my guys. I am trying so hard to focus on what all of you are entertained by. That Tsams community. But I'm struggling all right.

In a desperate attempt I'm going to try and latch on to Dim and DCA centered AUs and characters. It's not exactly Tsams, But it's probably the closest I'm going to get. Characters like Blue Moon and runaway Eclipse Of course interact with these characters on The daily. That's the whole point of the RBB adventures of the cube. It's a place where you can ask those characters while still interacting on a level with Tsams. But no one's put asks into those in months. And I feel like asking for asks is intrusive.

[theweirdhybrid]

SOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF SEASON 4!?~

-Abandoned King anon

So answering this is like [ checks watch ] two months late but I finally found a place I could watch it! I'll admit I wasn't spending a whole lotta time looking bc my brain switched to hyperfixating on TMNT instead of LMK, BUT, that doesn't mean my love for the series disappeared!

I'm actually hoping to start working on Into The Wukongverse again after I finish the season :0 I haven't seen the specials yet unfortunately, the website I'm using doesn't have them bc they're not out in english yet I don't think :(

But also, if I start work on Into The Wukongverse again, I'll be working on it alongside my ROTMNT fic "Just This Once, Everybody Lives" because I refuse to abandon that fic. I have vivid stories in my mind for both, and sure, I haven't touched ITTW in... a while, BUT I haven't stopped thinking about it this whole time! I still have the masterpost pinned for a reason! I'll have to go back and redo some of it, but I'm still working on it, I promise!

(this gets long so I'm slapping a read more on this bad boy)

So my initial thoughts when I saw how different the sworn brothers were from the original cast of brothers (i wasn't terribly surprised honestly considering how different LMK already is to the source material) was actually delight! I'd already known about the new demons, since they made book appearances (it's been... a while since I've thought deeply about LMK, I'll be honest, so some lore has slipped from my brain unfortunately) and I can't quite remember if they were part of the og brotherhood or not, but I DO know they were adversaries that Wukong fought later on! So it was really cool to see them animated like that! Makes me wonder what became of the og brotherhood members, tho.

It was honestly a little funny how Azure told MK and Mei not to draw attention to themselves and the first thing they do is try to kidnap Tripitaka after saving him from being eaten XD Honestly, these doofuses... The episodes are very fast paced, but it's understandable considering they're only eleven minutes long

And also...

Married. Married, holy SHIT they are so married I'm not even joking LOOK AT THIS OH MY GOD also the "I'm your Tangy :(" line- HUSBANDS. MARRIED. OH MY GOD. Literally this was so fucking cute oh my goooOOOOOOOOOOOOD-

Also, the entire thing of "No, Wukong's not my dad. Pigsy's my dad." and MK denying Wukong being his dad w the "If he was my dad don't you think he would've said something by now?" and then Mei shooting back with "Yeah, because he's sooooo forthcoming with information." was AMAZING. It had me looking at my lore for the Wukongverse and going "Yeah that tracks" XD

AND THEN TANG BEING TELEPORTED TO THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN AND BEING OFFERED WATER FROM THE RIVER AND IMMEDIATELY SCREAMING IN TERRORR AND TELEPORTING AWAY WAS FUCKING AMAZING I'M FUCKING CRYINGGGGGG

AND THE- THE BRIEF TELEPORTATION TO NEZHA AND AO BING'S FIGHT?????? HI HELLO I'M GOING FUCKING INSANE

AND THE LADY BONE DEMON CAMEOS...

AND AO LIE!!!!!!!! HEHEHA

I love knowing my JTTW history this is so fucking cool :D

Also, regarding who MK really is, I just wanna say... I FUCKING CALLED IT. I CALLED IT!!! I KNEW, THE MOMENT I SAW MK REVERT TO A STONE EGG IN THE FIRST EPISODE THAT THERE WAS NO WAY HE WASN'T A STONE MONKEY TOO >:D

In fact, depending on how canon fully reveals what's going on MK and his past, I might even be able to say I predicted it w the ITTW lore :p I never did reveal how MK came to be, but I never forgot that piece of lore, so we'll have to see how it holds up to canon, but it looks like my version of the lore is pretty similar to canon but! We'll just have to see :)

[toucandrawz]

Hello!!! :D

I'm Toucan! I'm a minor, so nsfw/18+ accounts please don't interact with mine! Even if it's just liking or reblogging my stuff, it makes me uncomfortable.

I’m a he/they trans guy and prefer you use both interchangeably!

If you've seen my account before it's most definitely for my drawings of CoD MW characters as merpeople! It's so exciting to see people liking my art on here because of it, so I really hope if you like the CoD art I do I hope you like the other art i do! :D

I use #Toucan’s gay shit to tag my posts, so you'll probably be able to find all my posts under that tag! I'm also tagging my CoD merpeople designs under #mercod but it's not working like the other one? If anyone knows why that'd be helpful lol.

I have ADHD and so I get hyperfixated a lot! My most recent ones have been:

— Anthony Hopkin‘s Hannibal Lecter

— MTG

— Junji Ito‘s work

— A Night To Remember (my webtoon, Read it here or here)

— Call of Duty: Modern Warefare

— Rammstein

— My Persona

— Spooky Month

— My Hero Academia

FAQ!

1.) Q - Can I use your designs?

A - ofc! :D I love the thought of people using my designs! Please if you do use any designs i make for anything tag me!! I'd love to see it! :)

2.) Q - Can I draw your OCs?

A - Yes! But I'd prefer if the specific situation or something was run by me first, since I'm very attached to a lot of my OCs and can be quite picky about their portrayal. Please don't hesitate to DM me or ask about anything if you have any questions on their designs or personalities!

3.) Q - Do you do commissions?

A - yes! My commissions are always open unless I say otherwise! Please feel free to DM me on Tumblr or Discord (at toucan_drawz) if you have any questions about commissions or want to commission me! —> see My carrd, and dm me on discord (toucan_drawz) or reach out to my commission email (toucandrawzcommissions@gmail.com)

4.) Q - Can I use your art for my profile?

A - yes! Just please credit me by providing my account for that platform or crediting my YouTube or Tumblr. Please do not share my art as your own!! My art is very important to me and if you use it or share it for any purpose, I would like direct credit. Preferably a link, but just a username works too lol.

5.) Q - can I reference/heavy reference/trace your art?

A - using my art for referencing or tracing in a learning environment is alright. Heavily referencing is a bit of a grey area for me, if it's heavily referencing my OCs that makes me uncomfortable, please do not heavily reference or reference my OCs at all. On the other hand, if you heavily reference my art I'm a bit more okay with that. Just please credit me in all these situations. Please, do not trace and claim and of my art as your own.

6.) Q - What is your political stance?

A - left. So far left. My blog/account is a safe space for everyone and everything, except racism, homophobia, transphobia, kanahism, nazi ideology, and anything along those lines. I don't care if you think that ANYONE doesn't deserve to live based on a stupid ass principle of religion, race, gender identity, or sexual orientation. If you think that, get the fuck off my page and block me. Thank you.

Please, do your daily clicks. And if you can, donate.

7.) Q - Can I repost your art?

A - Please don't repost my art unless credit is given/you link to one of my accounts! Please don't repost my art without my watermark (the TD signature) or with it cropped in pretty much any way. I'd prefer it wasn't resposted at all, but if you do please add credit! My art is something I hold very dear to my heart and something I value a lot.

8.) Q - What program/tablet/brush do you use?

A - I use multiple programs! Mainly procreate for a lot of the things I post, with that I use an Apple Pencil (1st gen) and a 9th gen iPad. For the brush, I usually use the teyoid lineart brush that I got off Pinterest, and the hard round brush for shading and coloring. I also use CSP (Clip Studio Paint), especially when I draw on PC, with a pc I use a Gaomon PD1161 . And for the brushes, I mostly use this peachy’s somewhat dry ink brush for lineart, and then the default g-pen for coloring/shading.

9.) Q - do you have other social medias/where can I find you?

A - I do! I have a plethora of other socials, you can find me almost anywhere under Toucan Drawz, Toucan_Drawz, or anything along those lines! I don’t have specific links, since, well, I think I have too many socials to count. But I’m most active on tumblr out of all the socials medias that aren’t basically a messaging app (looking at you, discord).

10.) Q - Can i recreate your art?

A - No, please don’t. My art is very dear to me, and I don’t want it recreated. Imo recreation is different to tracing (in a learning environment) or heavily referencing, because it’s basically just remaking something, but changing it a little or not changing it at all. Even if it’s with a different medium, it makes me uncomfortable. Using the same pose/scene idea is absolutely okay! And if my art makes you feel inspired enough to want to, I’m glad! :D But please, do not recreate my art.

[ccborrega]

I’m in love with your art and cannot wait to watch Frankelda!! I’m in the states and have been hyperfixating on Frankelda/frankeval for months and your content has helped me cope with not being able to watch it (at least until October!)

Have you considered making smutty/spicy frankeval art? 👀

wow, either this arrive during the week I wasn't home and I got caught up and forgot to reply or Tumblr didn't notify me aojsoaijsa I'm glad, I do hope more people start making content for it soon, it deserves more attention.

I have made it because honestly drawing smut is such a good exercise and it's good fun, but I'm not sure if I'm going to post it.

For one, it was mostly done for myself. Itachi voice* To test my abilities. So a lot of it is not something I really made to show around. Additionally, not only is Tumblr still allergic to tiddies and apparently shadowbaning people for posting it, but I'm also aware that Frankelda is rated for everyone and I really wouldn't want someone's first approach to the series or character to be seeing Frankelda riding the shit outta her owl boyfriend, even if I censor it in good conscience. Usually tagging and flagging does that, but social media has begun a trend to punish you for it. So until I figure out how to post in a way that lets me be more careful about who sees it without getting punished for it, it's stuck in my folders and the one discord server that allows it. Sorry about that.

[sassypotatoe1]

I'm adding this story to my myriad of sage advice for budding artists and artisans. I have like a decade and a half of formal fine art training, a little less than a decade of fiber arts training but informal, and between 3 and 5 years of various other arts and trades that I pick up as it catches my interest.

I'm not a good sculptor, though I think that's down to my using cheap air dry clay meant for children because I can't afford the artist grade, and I can definitely whittle well enough, I know how to remove material to get to my desired shape, so by all accounts I should be able to do masonry and sculpting, and I won't know if I'm actually any good until I can afford better materials.

Every time I sculpt something with my cheap children's airdry clay I get people asking me for a sculpture, and I have to tell them it's a craft that, for me, takes way too long to accurately price with the quality of materials I have. I'm not giving someone a sculpture made of paper pulp air dry clay meant for children and pricing it according to my skill and the hours worked, because they will not get value for money. I have no guarantee that the sculpture will last.

When I make clothes for myself I'm pretty lazy about it, I construct it well enough that it won't fall apart, and if I alter the pattern I don't pay attention and end up with wonky seams and strange panels. I can block patterns, I know how they work, and I love draping to bits, I just don't bother with those steps because I'm lazy as fuck.

Part of it is down to the fact that when I sew I either have to sew completely uninterrupted for at least 6 hours, or not at all, because I can't get distracted halfway through or I lose my mental calculations and geometry. So the few times I've made apparel for someone else, I did it when I had uninterrupted sewing time, and it turned out pretty much perfect. Three of the 7 times I did it in the last decade people ended up paying me more just because they loved the final product. I saw all the flaws and hours of mistakes that went into it and that I wasn't able to fix. My last client 3 years ago told me they've never seen a skirt that neatly constructed. I glowed about it for a good while.

Sketching has always been easy enough for me, I have been drawing since I could hold a crayon and understand shapes. My sketching output, 20 years into the practice, still wildly varies. I can do chuck close level hyperrealism, and I can fuck up a stylistic Mr potato head doodle. It's all down to my energy, focus, level of inspiration and hyperfixation, and desire to get an idea down accurately VS quickly.

It's for this reason that I learned very quickly on that a sketchbook is not meant to all be perfect masterpieces. Sketches are doodles to get ideas down and practice techniques, not art works. My sketch book is an amalgamation of the most disproportionate mermaids and beautifully shaded hyperpigmented hands, they're never consistent, and I feel no obligation for it to be high quality.

Painting is a different beast. I paint tiny detail by tiny detail, in Neverending layers. I don't see the finished product until months after completing it. It's a collection of specific shading and highlighting techniques and brush strokes and all the mistakes where I couldn't get the line just right or the color vibrant enough. When I paint I can't just stand back and look at my painting to see how it's going, I have to take a picture of it, send it to someone and have them respond before looking at the picture again before I can see the whole.

I frequently go back to old projects that I deemed complete at the time and redo parts of it better than before, because my art is constantly improving the more I do it, but a lot of the time I go back to an old project, fully seeing it in my mind's eye as terrible, because I can't believe I was able to do what I did when I did it, and I find that I'm much more skilled at the craft than I remember. I get flooded with the question "I did that? How?" and I have to immediately try it again to prove to myself that I'm actually skilled and it wasn't just a fluke or a possession by an ancient master of that art.

My high school art teacher always insisted that a work of art is never complete, and it contradicted everything I've been taught about not adding more to a piece after it feels complete because you'll ruin it, so I didn't believe it, and then I revisited my high school final exam piece 3 years after making it to touch it up, fix some proportion and shading issues, because I wanted to enter it into a competition. I never did because you had to have created the entire thing within that year and I'm too honest to pretend that I did.

I feverishly repainted the gold handle on the tea cup at 4am after getting back from a performance, and I woke up the next day at 2pm wondering how the fuck I managed to do that quality of work. I'm capable of it, it's not a question of skill, I just have this mental disconnect between what my skill level actually is and what I think it is, and it's much higher than what I've convinced myself of.

Your art may be better now than it was before, but you might be surprised at how good it was in the past if you revisit old pieces, and if you redo certain aspects of those pieces you'll find that you're probably better now than you thought you were. And sometimes you're lazy and don't follow the right processes, relying on a sense of experience that can be distorted, and you'll churn out something much worse than your actual skill level could make, and that's okay too. Whatever isn't perfect is inspiration for the perfect piece. Keep going, give yourself grace, try again and again and again and you will see improvement.

When I was 19 or 20, I sewed myself a wool dress for medieval re-enactments. I hated it almost as soon as I put it on. The bodice was cut wrong; the lacing was uneven; the colour was garish; the front closure was historically inaccurate; the embellishments were sewn on with terrible thread. Wearing it, I was constantly aware of its myriad flaws.

Then in my twenties I hit my adult metabolism and didn’t fit into any of my old clothes anymore. I gave my old dresses to my foster mother, who sells costumes for a living, and the green dress sold. It entered the local medieval re-enactment secondhand economy.

Every time I go to an event, someone different is wearing my green dress. It draws my eyes because it’s a lovely colour and the fabric—real wool and enough of it—moves beautifully with the wearer’s body. I never recognize it at first, because every wearer has worn it a different way; it can be mixed and matched, dressed up and down, moved around a good century of history. From ten feet away its lacing looks elegant, its embellishments beautiful gracenotes. I think: Oh my god, that dress looks beautiful. Wait a minute, that’s MY DRESS.

That dress teaches me, every time I see it, to stop looking at myself through such critical eyes. That dress doesn’t just look good, it looks better than most other dresses in its category, because I put in the time and the effort (including using pliers to force a needle through six layers of wool) to make sure it was done right.

It’s my reminder that sometimes the things I do are actually good, and if I indulge my natural tendency to criticize myself in everything, I’ll end up missing when I’m actually awesome.

[sunzhinx]

Happy New Year!

I'm a little late, but happy new year to everyone nonetheless. :)

This is just another post catching anyone who still checks on me up to speed on how I've been doing and everything, A whole lot of yapping in this one be warned;

Last year wasn't great, (It was shit, I hated it) I found out that I have Hypothyroidism (Specifically Hashimoto’s disease) which was..an experience, Two of my relatives died to Cancer and I realized a few things;

For a start, Posting in this sort of professional-ish way I was trying to before DOESN'T make me happy, I like being able to post what I'm thinking whenever it pops into my brain but I'm terrified of how people will perceive me. I'm worried that if I post a bunch of random thoughts and whatever makes me happy the 183 followers I have here (Thank you all so much, Genuinely, I see you and I appreciate you) will leave or find the constant posts to be annoying. MAYBE this'll change, I want to try posting more of what I want to rather than what I think people want to see and if that doesn't go well I'll probably just return to lurking around and sulking

I am NOT mentally stable enough for any sort of consistent posting schedule let alone a streaming schedule. Somedays I just don't have it in me to post or try to stream anything, I WANT to stream don't get me wrong but my brain and body are actively fighting me on it, If I stream, I stream! If I post, I post! Thats just how it'll be.

Aside from that...

There might be a change in the sort of stuff I repost and draw, Cult Of The Lamb WAS my hyperfixation, Ya'lls were so welcoming and supportive it did all sorts of wonders for my confidence; HOWEVER, I tend to bounce around things I like, like a bouncy ball. Currently Pressure is living rent free in my head but next month it could be something TOTALLY different, I don't want to restrict myself to one game or show that I like, I want to just go with the flow.

I DID finally get enrolled in that art course I was trying to get into, I'll be starting in February and it'll be ending in July so I'll be pretty busy with that this year, Maybe I'll post art I make for that course? Kill two birds with one stone (Only if I like what I make though, I'm surprisingly fussy about what I post when it comes to my art)

I'm pretty sure thats all the yapping I have to do, Thank you all for the good times last year (Even if the bad did ultimately overshadow all of that) and I hope 2025 can be MUCH better not just for me, But for everyone. :)

[dauntlessdiva]

hi hi hi bites you <3

i love sending asks sooo much, it really is like letters! but if you'd prefer to dm, i'm cool with it!! if you have discord and wanted to share that with me too, that would be nice too :]

that makes sense! if i do anything else while listening to words being thrown at me, my ass will NOT be listening lmao. it's like my brain goes to space or something hjshjsh

OOOOO okay great picks!!! i think my fav from the tiny bit i saw is riz, he's very cringefail to me

honestly by the description given about bridgerton, i dunno if i would like it? but no offense though as i am very picky about shows and movies

your family stuff is so cute i'm sobbing i love this whole thing :((

i know vintagebeef from hermitcraft!!! and i also love etho ^_^ i started watching his season 7 series and i stopped since my hyperfix went away. i should continue again soon!! it's so lovely to hear of someone enjoying a creator for so long

i didn't know you could do that??? that's so cool??? also what are marbled cookies? i don't believe i've heard of them?

that's very sweet, i love how crochet projects can be so personal. it's so cute!!!

YOOO??? i like a few noah kahan songs but i definitely love chappell and hozier too!!! i had a huge hozier hyperfix some months ago, i adore his music forever oughhhh......

and replying to more tags: i love to yap too dude, it's so fun lol, great hobby :3 also thank you, you're such a sweetheart too <333

AND AND sorry for the late reply, i have been caught up in a huge distraction world today of horribly consuming youtube videos rippp

Omg omg hi!!! 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

I don't get a lot of asks tbh so this is super fun!

I do have discord, it's chronicallymars

My adhd ass would not have survived school at any level if I wasn't allowed to doodle while the teacher talked. Because if I couldn't either do something with my hands or stare at a wall the whole time, I would zone the fuck out.

(I once nearly got in trouble in like grade 1 because I was staring at my classmates' art on the walls while my teacher was talking, so she did that thing teachers do when they don't think you're paying attention, where they call on you and ask what they were just saying, and shocked the shit out of her when I correctly restated her lesson for her)

Oooh Riz is so cringefail! That's hoestly one of his best qualities.

Bridgerton is like. A regency era au fanfiction but it's a tv show. There's also a book series. The books came first. You might enjoy the books more than the tv show?

The show follows the book series' style of having each individual book/season be about the romance between one of the Bridgerton's and their love interest.

Also, their first initials are alphabetical in oder of birth, so the eldest is Anthony, and the youngest is Hyacinth.

I love my family. We enjoy each other's company.

You are the first person I have talked to about minecraft who actually knows who Vintagebeef is omg!

I have periods of time that I will just forget that Beef exists for a bit tbh and then one of his videos pops up on my yt page and I get super into him all over again.

I don't watch bdubs as much as I used to but that's another one I used to love watching play mindcrack!

It's marble cake but as cookies! I make them using this cake mix cookie recipe:

And I do one box of golden and one box of either chocolate fudge or devils food cake. Once the dough has chilled for at least 15 minutes, I pull both bowls out and start mixing them together by hand. But I try not to mix them too much, because you still want to be able to see the different colours.

This is the blanket I made for my best friend's little boy!

I love croecheting, because it really does feel the most like I've made something from nothing. Like when I draw, the page is already there, I'm just putting ink on it, right? But with crochet, I am taking a giant ball of yarn and making it into something else.

Chapell Roan is bringing 80s synth pop back and I love that so much for her.

And Hozier is fucking ethereal dude. His voice sounds like that of a siren come to lure unsuspecting sailors into the depths.

I'M SEEING FALL OUT BOY AT A LOCAL MUSIC FESTIVAL NEXT MONTH AND I AM SO HYPED FOR IT!

The festival is full of punk/pop punk faves. It's headlined by Billy Talent and Fall Out Boy, but it's also gonna have bands like We The Kings, Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, grandson, and LØLØ!

I'm going with my other bestie and her brother, so it's gonna be a good time regardless of who's playing, but holy fuck it's Fall Out Boy!

(I have no clue if you like that kinda music or not, but if you do then you totally get why I'm so excited lol)

I also love to yap, so we are two peas in a pod here omfg.

And oof I get that. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten distracted from a text convo because I've fallen down the youtube rabbit hole again lmao

[disteluria]

My art Summary this year! A lot of Fnaf, a bit of splatoon and some other games! :D

I had a lot of private stress, no motivation to draw and a lot of I'm not happy with my stuff. Even though I finished a lot of art in the first few months, as soon as the private shit went down I wasn't really able to draw, I even fell out of my hyperfixation because of it. But I'm slowly getting back into it and my mental stability almost reached 100% again! I made my first charm this year and met a lot of great people, so it wasn't all bad, but it was a lot to take in and I'm so happy when it's all behind me! So I can say, here's for a better 2024!

[disenchantingwrites]

Seasonal Opposites | T.J

You and Tyler love different seasons, but the one thing you have in common is that you have each other.

Tyler Joseph x GN!Reader

A/N: i've been pretty absent because of how much I've been working, but i'm reentering my annual Twenty One Pilots hyperfixation. (also, late happy birthday to Tyler)

---- ---- ---- ----

You loved summer. You loved it, the heat to thaw your usually icy body, the many opportunities to have a swim in your pool, the countless midnight icecreams because of said heat. You hated winter and how you always got sick, how you were never warm enough, and the stress that came from the Christmas rush.

Tyler, on the other hand, was very much the opposite. He liked winter, he liked the Christmas time, the snow, his ability to wear many layers without question. It suited him just fine. Summer was too hot, too sweaty, it wasn't good when he performed, and his body was always running on high temp.

With the two of you, however, there was a middle ground. Spring and Autumn. They were neutral months, where the only thing you had to worry about was whether it would an inside or outside day.

“Summer can't be all that bad, Ty,” you hummed one evening, tracing random shapes into your lover’s palm. He shifted every so slightly on the bed to reside on his back, his free arm coming around your waist. You peered up at him from your place on his chest. “There has to be a few things you like.”

Tyler let his eyes wander away from your inquisitive face to the ceiling. The autumn wind blew through your open windows, maintaining the perfect temperature for both your comfort as your bodies remained entangled. Tyler conjured up several prospective answers to your question as he lay silent and unmoving.

“I guess summer’s good for eating ice cream,” he mumbled, and you could feel his urge to shrug through his bland tone. You rolled your eyes. “And I can chill in the pool.”

“Oh, come on, give me something more, Ty,” you urged.

A low hum slipped from his throat. “I guess... I guess it’s good because it means I get to home you close when we’re asleep because you can cool me down.” You let out a soft laugh, but let Tyler continue, noting it for a later comment. “And I like summer because I get to see you so excited about it. And when I get to wake up to a noise, only to find you inhaling half the tub of ice cream as a midnight snack on hot nights.”

It was Tyler’s turn to laugh as his mind brought forth the several memories of that exact scenario. You flicked his shoulder, eyes narrowed at the man, and he apologised with a kiss pressed to your forehead.

“So... you like summer because of me?” You finally spoke, eyes curiously watching Tyler as your cheeks darkened with a faint blush.

“Yeah,” he replied. His eyes flicked down to yours, and he gently squeezed your waist. “And what are some things that you like about winter?” Each emphasised word was accompanied by his finger tapping your side.

“I suppose the obvious answer is when I get to cuddle you so you warm me up,” you replied, returning your attention to his hand to continue to draw on the calloused skin. “And all the soft blankets that I can bundle up in.”

“And Christmas?” Tyler queried.

“Only with you,” you responded honestly. “And only when there's just a small group of people. Like last Christmas with just Debbie and Josh coming over for dinner. There’s so many people on tour, that it's nice to just be able to have something small.”

“Fair,” Tyler replied, his eyes trained on your hand and his. "I guess it's the same. I like to have time with my family to celebrate, but I like when it's just the people that are the closest to me."

A pleased hum escaped your mouth. "I also like winter because you're happy," you added. Tyler's lips curled into a grin as his dark eyes flicked your way. “And the first day of winter I get to celebrate you, and that you’re getting old. So, I guess that’s a good start to the worst season.”

“Even though you threw an insult in there, I’ll accept it.” You couldn't help but smile tenderly at Tyler.

And you wondered how the both of you, seemingly polar opposites, could enjoy each other, love each other so deeply. But whatever higher power had curated your match, you were nothing but grateful to them. Tyler was the one thing you loved more than warm summer nights, bathing in the coolness of the pool, or lounging under the air conditioner with a book in your hand.

“You know,” Tyler began, “tomorrow’s my birthday. Are you trying to suck up to me so that I’ll still love you for whatever potentially terrible present you’re going to give?”

Your mouth fell open. “How dare you assume that my gift will be terrible! I give great gifts!”

Tyler could only laugh. He didn’t respond, but pressed a kiss to your head, and pulled you closer to him by your waist. You let out a defeated huff, and decided to place a pin in it for next time.

[hannah-heartstrings]

8 12 and 19 for the end of year asks? :D

Thanks friend! :D

8. Game of the year?

Definitely The Elder Scrolls Oblivion, I started playing it back in January and I was hyperfixated off and on all year long. For a while I wasn't able to keep a hyperfixation much longer than a month or two so I was happily surprised.

It also inspired a lot of fanfics. Speaking of...

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

@druidx reading my writing really motivated me to keep at it, which is really important to me. And made me feel welcome in the tesblr community. Thanks, Dru, love ya!

19. What're you excited about for next year?

I'm excited to have warmer weather again.

Excited for all the art I'm going to make, and for my art to improve. I'm intent on making progress on Game Over (original story), and to get back into drawing.

But mostly I'm excited to see what this year brings, I'm going to meet new people, learn new things, come up with new ideas, and have unexpected hyperfixations, and I have no idea what they're going to be.

Usually I don't care about the new year but this time I'm feeling pretty positive! (You might be rubbing off on me, Donk. XD)

[iamanartichoke]

So.

This post has been a long time coming for me, and it's likely not going to endear me to anyone, but if I don't get this out then it's just going to fester until I eventually leave tumblr and I don't actually want to leave. So, yknow, there we are.

That being said, I'm writing this for personal catharsis, not to affect anyone else in any way. I'm not trying to, like, make a stand or call out people or judge anyone, even though it will seem that way. This is just my perspective and my feelings, and since it's my blog, I feel like I should be able to write it.

Basically I've been doing a lot of soul-searching since the holidays, about my life in general but also about tumblr and fandom. It's gotten to a point where I give tumblr a cursory login a few times a day so I can check notifs/the dash and maybe post a thing or two to feel like I'm still active, and then I go off and do something else. It used to be that I was on tumblr constantly, and I was having fun, and logging in and posting and interacting, and while I'm not advocating for spending all of one's free time glued to the computer screen, I have to acknowledge that even when the majority of my free time was spent glued to this site (and AO3), I felt fulfilled. The way a hobby is supposed to make you feel, yknow? Something fun to look forward to, to get invested in, to feel a sense of accomplishment with. I was investing a lot of time here, but I felt like I was getting back just as much, to the benefit of my own mental well-being.

And I've met a lot of wonderful people here. Before I joined the Loki fandom, it had been a very long time since I'd been part of any significant online "friend group," so to speak. I'm most comfortable in lurker mode. I don't like to draw a lot of attention to myself. I was also never in a fandom before, not really. I had my hyperfixations and my beloved content, but it varied, and I just engaged with that material in my own way. Which was fine, bc it wasn't something that was a major part of my life. Not until I discovered Loki did I actively want to participate in fandom. I was thinking about this character constantly, I was seeking out fanfiction for the first time in years, and I was even inspired to start writing my own fanfic, which I hadn't done in literally over a decade (rip my Baby-sitters Club fanfics on FF.net). I felt for and related to this character so much that it wasn't enough to just quietly lurk on the sidelines; I had feels to share and things to say and I had found a community with so many other people who knew how it felt.

None of this is unique to me, I'm sure. Every person who engages in the Loki fandom, or has, or will, felt some kind of connection to this character that brought them here, bc casual consumption wasn't enough. We're all here bc of Loki.

So it really saddens me to see how fractured the fandom has become, and to reflect on my own role in it. I've been holding my tongue on a lot of things for months, out of fear of disappointing people I care about, or out of fear of becoming a target, or out of fear of losing my community bc, tbh, I don't have much else for social interaction, especially since covid ruined all our lives. But the less I said, the more I just ended up removing myself from the community, and the truth is that while I don't want to disappoint anyone, there are a lot of people here who've disappointed me. And it's not fair for me to not acknowledge that; I can't beat myself up for saying things or having opinions that disappoint others while also internalizing all of the disappointment and exhaustion heaped on me by others, so that I feel like I'm the only one doing something wrong.

And I'm not saying that to call out anyone; like I said, this is cathartic for me to write. And far be it for me to say anyone is doing anything wrong in fandom, bc we all have our own perspectives and experiences and they affect how we engage in fandom spaces, and that's fine. You do you, boo, and all that. (Asode from death threats and harrassment; y'all need to cut that shit out.) But it would be disingenuous to not acknowledge the ripple effect that some people's actions and words have on others, including me.

I was going through my old blog posts from the last, I don't know, year or so and of course everything was a mess in fandom then, too, but not nearly as bad as it is now. Ragnarok wank was still the most prevalent wank, along with the building anticipation/anxiety over the series. And I was thinking about how my stance on Ragnarok aligned me with a certain group of people, and how my stance on the series conflicts with that, and how it might seem to the casual observer that I've "switched sides." There's a whole lotta discourse from antis about not understanding how people who hated Ragnarok could turn around and love the series, and feeling hurt/let down by those opinions, and I just can't help but wonder what they're thinking about me or if they feel let down by me. But the thing is, I've never hated Ragnarok, and I don't love the series. I think there's a lot wrong with Ragnarok and I have criticized it a lot, that's all. I think there's a lot wrong with the series, too, but there's a lot that I like, or appreciate. So no, I haven't "switched sides," - I'm exactly where I've always been, trying to engage with the material from the middle. I've never seen anything here as just black and white, love it or hate it, and it baffles me that so many do.

Now, I will say that some of that wank re: "switching sides" is legit, in that there are a couple of specific people who took their love for the show to the level of deciding it made them qualified to say that people who didn't and were vocal about it were too blinded by their own trauma/mental health in general to see the show clearly. And that sentiment, intended or not, has ended up being echoed by a lot of pro-series people, maybe not even knowing where it came from in the first place. Things like that contribute to the toxicity in this fandom and make the gap wider, and I get feeling hurt by that especially when it comes from someone once considered a close friend. So I'm not, like, saying these feelings are invalid.

But at the same time, it feels like anyone who previously had negative things to say about Ragnarok and now has positive things to say about the series is lumped into the same category as the people mentioned above, and that's harmful, too. A few months ago one of my posts, for example, got linked in a discord server that I happened to be lurking in at the time bc a lot of mutuals were in it, and I don't care that they disagreed with what I had to say but I do care that they said "Oh I thought I could trust her," like my posting an opposing opinion that says nothing about any other faction of fans and is focused on the series material makes me an untrustworthy mutual. It felt hurtful to me and, despite being such a minor slight in the grand scheme of things, has definitely contributed to my holding back on posting things - not only bc being talked about behind my back is a weird trigger for me (I had a tough adolescence) but bc I feel like I don't know who's nice to me on tumblr while thinking less of me as a person and ostracizing me on discord (or DMs).

What I'm getting at is, I have aligned myself with and befriended a good portion of the "negative" side of the fandom, and I often posted about how criticism shouldn't be treated as such a taboo, that people can post what they want to, that discussions and civil - nay, friendly - debate are good and should be encouraged. And I still feel that way; I don't think criticism should be frowned upon, and I do enjoy discussions even if there's differing opinions. That hasn't changed - but, over the course of the show airing and the six or seven months that have followed, the negativity faction has changed. It has snowballed into such toxicity that it has severely ruined Loki, and the fandom, for me personally.

(If you're a series-anti and we're still mutuals, btw, I am probably not talking about you. I have unfollowed the people, mutuals included, whose posts I no longer want to see, and there are a lot of antis on this site that I do not know, have never or rarely spoken to, and have no connection to, but who are so visibly anti that one can't help but be cognizant of them and their opinions. We also have mutuals in common so their posts are often on my dash. This is about them.)

(That said, if you're not comfortable being mutuals with me or if my posts make you feel let down or some other kind of way, please just unfollow me.)

And I think what was kinda the last straw for me is that some antis are no longer tagging negativity. I mean, I've been noticing a decline in the consistency of tagging for quite awhile now, but in the last few days, they are now not tagging on purpose in retaliation of getting harrassment and death threats. Certainly those things are far from okay, and I get the sentiment, but at the same time, I never harrassed anyone or sent any death threats. I'm just trying to mind my own business and salvage something from this fandom that's rewarding for me, and now I can't even curate my own dash properly.

Which brings me back around to my statement that the negativity has ruined Loki for me. Because the thing is, for me, while I feel there is a lot to be criticized about the series, I genuinely do not agree with many of the antis' takes and I'm tired of seeing them bc they don't change, they just grow and snowball into more extremes to the point where it seems like if you say anything positive about the series, there's at least one anti in the notes saying that thing is abusive or harmful. It can be incredibly frustrating on a meta level bc I disagree but don't dare engage about it, and it's frustrating on a fandom level bc the negativity is relentless. Posts about Avengers-era/TDW OG Loki cross my dash and there've been comments added like "oh, remember when Loki had good writers/Marvel cared" etc. I've also seen an increase in frequency of antis hopping on a pro-series post and ranting, for lack of a better word, about why the show sucks; it has happened on my posts, too. A couple of weeks ago I saw someone complaining about Loki and the series on a post about the Dr. Strange trailer, which had nothing to do with Loki. Just yesterday I saw a post in which OP wrote some meta on the subtle ways that Sylvie showed she cared about Loki, only for an anti to reblog with some "give her her own show then, I'm here for Loki," take which, of course, encouraged others to reblog with "yeah we hate Sylvie and she's a bitch to Loki" commentary, and like - the fuck are you even trying to accomplish, at this point? What do you gain? Certainly not catharsis, bc clearly none of you feel any better, and you're not saying anything new, either. Nor are you looking for genuine discussion bc you're obviously never going to change your mind, no matter what anyone says. So why? It's like there's this inability to tolerate people's enjoyment of the series without feeling the need to remind them that it's abusive and shitty.

Here's the thing about negativity - it's fucking negative. It feels bad and it makes people feel bad. I've seen post after post after post of antis talking about how angry they are, or how painful it is, or how disappointed and furious and heartbroken they are. Those are absolutely valid feelings, and I share some of them, but they aren't pleasant ones. Nobody enjoys feeling that way. It feels bad to feel bad, and that's why tagging was utilized in the first place. So people could avoid seeing posts that would make them feel bad.

Like I've said, repeatedly, I have criticisms of the show. Like. I don't even like it that fucking much! I don't agree with the faction of fans who think it's the best, most brilliant thing ever. But I do think it has heart, and I do care about the characters (yes, I care about Sylvie and I care about Mobius and I care about their bonds with Loki), and I don't feel like feeling bad. I feel bad most of the time in my life; mental illness is a bitch. When I come to tumblr to engage in fandom, I'm doing so as an escape. I want to enjoy myself. If I want to feel bad, I want it to be bc of fictional angst and struggle, not bc every time I turn around it seems like someone else is trying to remind me that Loki's character was ruined by the show or that supporting any aspect of it, especially a ship, makes one transphobic or supportive of abuse. People's consumption of fiction shouldn't be tied to or reflective of their morals anyway, but also, all it's accomplishing is spreading the negativity so more people feel bad.

So, yeah. The level and relentlessness of the negativity is what has ruined my enjoyment of Loki and of fandom. Not wanting to write or post meta bc I feel like if I criticize anything, antis will take it as a green light to start piling on the hate is a big part of it, but it's also not knowing who's disappointed in me or feels betrayed by me or is even just spilling tea about me bc of something I post or share. It's not being able to read fic, bc maybe I saw a post that day that hit on one of my own complaints about the series, and it wasn't tagged, and that person wrote a whole rant about it, and now I can't stop thinking about it to the point that it's actively distracting me from whatever I'm trying to read. I don't care that that person had that take, but I do care that I saw it and it affected me bc they decided not to tag it.

That's just an example of how the negativity can get under your skin and start affecting your perceptions. And, I mean, maybe the thing wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't also agree with it to an extent, but I should have the ability to decide, okay, x thing sucks but it is what it is, I'm going to focus on z bc that's what I'm getting enjoyment from and I want to feel good right now. I don't want to see some negative thing about x. I don't want to acknowledge my criticisms right now. Or if I do, I don't want it to go down the slippery slope of "mhm x was kinda shitty and I wish it hadn't been done" into "x is -phobic and toxic and harmful, and the creators did it on purpose to fuck over Loki, and also that Sylvie cunt should die in season 2" like - asdhjdasjk forget I said anything, damn.

Like I said, I don't expect this post to endear me to anyone, and I'm sure I'll lose some followers and possibly mutuals. If I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry; if I seem like I'm attacking anyone, I swear I'm not. I'm trying to get this weight off of my chest so that when I come to tumblr I can breathe again. I don't have a solution for all this toxicity, but identifying it and speaking it is, for me, better than nothing.

Please do not reblog this post.

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

I remember I discovered your art around a year ago, and you already improved SOOO MUCH!!! It’s very impressive! I love your art a lot!

If that’s not a problem, do you maybe have any advices on how to improve art? What were you doing? :0

I hope this is okay :)

Oh gosh thank you so much, I'm so glad people have noticed the improvement ;w;. Honestly, I look back at my old art and sometimes get a bit embarrassed because I know I can do better now but then again I'm only at this point because past me had the confidence to do that art and continue to learn so the least I can do it respect it for the building block that it is ^-^. Plus it's always fun to do re-draws of your old stuff anyway! Like a lil' nostalgia trip~

As far as advice goes...oh gosh I don't really know what to say 😖 My art was stagnate for some time since I went through a rough art block and had such little motivation to do digital arting for a while. It wasn't until I made this art blog and made a goal of wanting to be able to do one of those end of the year art summaries that I started to actually explore the things I could do with digital art and well just art in general. So, I suppose for me, the more regular digital arting really went a long way to improving things, but I do think the thing that improved my art the most was my interest in utilizing the different tools available to me digitally. Learning more and playing with overlays, gradient maps, custom brushes--taking digital art a bit more seriously.

But ngl what really got my butt into gear (and what really brought on a lot of these learning experiences) was my desire to get into zines. Danganronpa zines were just a whole other playing field and boy was I really out of my league at the start! I needed to beef up my portfolio and fast and well...yeah that's basically what I did lol. I drew larger pieces like that earring Nagito, Jason Junko, Christmas komaegi, and holy Rei to help my chances into getting into zines. I started adding more backgrounds to things because they look for that stuff but also to help me get into the habit of do something with the empty space (yknow when I have the energy). And then the zine pieces themselves just further pushed me into improving my stuff even more now that it was going to be among other amazing pieces--I really didn't' want mine to be so...sad looking compared to everyone's else's ;-;.

I guess in the end it was a mixture of wanting to make at least one thing a month (for the art summary), my need for self improvement to make it into zines and feel confident of my work while in the zines, and just my hyperfixation with Daganronpa that gave me an interest to continue drawing so much stuff anyway. After all, a lot of those ideas were things I wanted to do! Making them into larger pictures and giving them a nice background were just added perks so that I can sneakily include them in my zine portfolio application. I don't think I would have bothered to go that far if I wasn't actually enjoying it too ^-^!

Ah I feel like this didn't really answer your question but I suppose the tldr is: find something that gives ya motivation to draw, explore all sorts of techniques, art tools, art styles, background and perspectives--anything that catches your eye and you want to try out--do it! Use references! Get inspired by art you see and try to replicate the effects and techniques they used! Watch youtube speed draws and art program/effect tutorials! And just...have fun with it yknow? The last thing you want is to burn yourself out, so just have fun trying something new and seeing how it works. Don't be afraid of doing a whole 180 from your usual art. You never know what can work for ya if you don't try it out right :3

[slowpokegamer]

So it's Ninjago's 10th Anniversary :D I was originally going to draw the ninja for today but I thought on it a bit,, and I wanted to do something a little more personal to celebrate

I was only 10 years old when Ninjago first aired and was an undiagnosed autistic child who wasn't really allowed to enjoy anything outside of the stuff my family provided. Ninjago was the first special interest I was allowed to explore outside of all the girly and feminine stuff my mom forced on me and was the reason I continued drawing and writing. I'm going to be 20 this July, and I thought it would be fun if I just talked about how Ninjago affected me and the kind of impact it had on me growing up :'') So I'm gonna talk a bit about that under the cut

Ninjago was one of my first special interests I discovered on my own and I honestly think I have it to thank for me wanting to start drawing and writing. I used to draw in early elementary school and dropped it for awhile for some reason I don't remember, but when I started watching Ninjago and got more into the story, I picked drawing back up and started writing and creating stories again. The stories I made up didn't make a lot of sense, but they helped me cope through a lot of the stuff going on with my family and school, and it really cemented art and writing becoming one of my main coping mechanisms

Along with making me want to continue to create, Ninjago was the first thing that caused me to start to question myself about my gender. I really had no concept of gender identity back then, all I knew was that I didn't feel right and being allowed to watch Ninjago, something viewed as a "boys show," was euphoric. I started to engage in more typically masculine things, wanting boys clothes and shorter hair and I actually started to feel more like myself :') Also I had the WORST gender envy for aged up Lloyd Garmadon and I never realized it until like a month ago, so these stupid little lego ninjas are the reason I'm trans. Say "thank you Ninjago" 💕💕

Back then I had pretty much no friends and everything I did and created was for myself and only myself, and while that was perfectly okay, I did feel incredibly lonely like 80% of the time :')) Deciding to rewatch Ninjago during quarantine was one of the best things I could have done, because not only did I reopen the holy grail of hyperfixations and see where the series continued after I stopped watching in 6th grade, but I also got my friends into it and was able to talk about enjoy the show with them!

That's kind of what this drawing represents, me being 10 and alone and becoming completely entranced by a show for the very first time, and now me being almost 20 and introducing one of my favorite things to my friends and them being interested and supportive of it :'> Also just unsuspecting baby me watching something and being completely unaware of how much of an impact it would have on like my ENTIRE life

I know it seems kind of silly to feel this much about a dumb little lego show for kids, but Ninjago really does mean a lot to me and I'm not sure where or who I would be right now if I had never seen it back in 2011. I think no matter how old I get, Ninjago will always be something I hold close to my heart. It's gotten me through a lot of hard times and knowing me, it will continue to get me through hard times

Also to commemorate 10 years of Ninjago,, I think it would be nice to share some of my old ninjago art (´-﹏-`；) I used to have a lot more, but a lot of it was destroyed when I moved houses back in middle school. I have never shared these outside of my groupchat so please don't laugh too hard at me, but heres a look at the kind of things Ninjago sparked in baby me's creative mind

An out of context comic page from a Warrior Cats crossover I had created (my OC Greentail was originally Lloyd wayyy back when and I will never let myself live that down) I think I was 10 or 11 when I drew this

Ohmygod,, I actually don't remember much of the context of this? I think it was an OC story I was creating that also just happened to feature the ninja because I did that A LOT- So this is Kai and one of my very old and forgotten OCs arguing over something, I was probably like 11 or 12 when this was drawn

And two OCs I never did anything with, which is kind of shame :''') I was 13 when this was drawn

So yeah,, Ninjago means a lot to me and it has since it first aired :'D I'm looking forward to seeing where the show will continue in the future