#I'm so fucking disappointed and scared that I won't ever get to live my life how I want to. I have someone that I love but I probably

[flamingpudding]

I love your writing so much but I'm here with a crack idea just imagine deage Dan is Klarion.

Dan was able to find out who he is outside of Danny then he was able to change his name Klarion Jackson Fenton/Nightingale he is still a little villain boy also now a mom boy.

Ghost King Danny is his mom young justice was so confused when Klarion you're the best gifts get your mom after not talking to him for a while to also begging them to pretend to be his friend . Justice League dark is panicking in the background about the electric being that just shows up.

Danny in full ghost king attire standing there with a plate of cookies ready to meet his son's new friends.

Thanks so much! I am glad you enjoy my writing!

Also thanks because I absolutely love this Idea/Prompt! Sooooo please enjoy this piece inspired by it! Also I haven't consumed a lot of DC material lately so i am basing this all on my memories. In other words.... I went with Tim's little team here.

Hope that's okay and that this won't disappoint.

-------------------

Dan, who was going by Klarion for some years now, had a massive problem. It was the huge kind of problem build on small bubbles of lies that then turned into this one giant bubble that was about to pop just because of one little question asked by his mom when his sister decided to throw him under the bus to deflect from herself and the fact that she was dating a demon. Don't get him wrong he still loves her, but man did he want to strangle Danielle right now.

"So Klarion, Ellie is right. When will I get to meet your friends you told me so much about?"

It was such an innocent question from his mom. And while his moms titles don't scare him, cause at some point in time they could have been his too, the happy dopey smile like nothing was wrong in the dimensions with little expectations directed at him was the scariest thing his mom could ever direct at him when he had asked THAT question.

So now Klarion was in need of a quick solution. When his mom had asked he had mumbled out a quick: "Next week maybe. We won't be busy with hero stuff then." He had started to form a plan. First of all, he needed to remember what all he had told his mom about his new and redeemed life on Earth 43 he had build for himself with the name Klarion Jackson Fenton-Nightingale.

Which fuck. There was a lot he had told his mom just so he wouldn't worry.

Cause now he also remembers that whenever he had gone out to cause some chaos he had made it seem to his mom like he was going out to bond with his new friend or help them with their hero duty. Well, in a way maybe his chaos causing could be seen as bonding. The ghostly kind, that is. And as for helping with the hero duty... he did give them work, something to do with their hero status. Anyway Klarion tried to remember all possible names he had dropped. Shit why did he also mention to his mom that he was working with heroes to make her proud? He should have name dropped some villains instead but nearly all of them were adults. He knew his mom would have frowned if he had only adult friends and no one around his age.

He was pacing his room in their castle. He need a plan, a good one at that. He knows he name dropped Robin, now Red Robin, Superboy and Impulse on a whim once. Superboy more so cause his mom had been interested in the Alien Heros of the Earth of the dimension he was partially living on now. He had mentioned Robin for the joke of knowing that there is a Dinner in an other Dimension with the same name. And because his Grandfather didn't like the Flash-clan which meant his mom didn't like them too much because of their messing with timelines either, he had mentioned being friends with Impulse on pure spite because of a punishment one day and to see their reactions. So he had to get these three on board anyway, and because for the heck of it he would get Wonder Girl involved too. It was never bad to have a girl in a friends group.

Klarion stopped his pacing. Turning towards his demonic ghost cat companion, kind of what Cujo was to his mom now. "Teekl, I think I have a plan. I will convince these Idiots, that shouldn't be a huge problem. Most of them are normale little flesh sacks." Teekl and him stared for some time at each other and after a moment Klarion huffed turning away with crossed arms. "It's a good plan don't be so sceptical, they are heroes right? They will not refuse my request!"

Well maybe Klarion should have planned this a bit better.

The next day Red Robin blinked at the witch boy up from the ground in the living room of what looked like to be an normal apartment. He had just been in Gotham, working on a case and now he was here? Looking to the left he also noticed that Superboy (the older), Impulse and Wonder Girl were also with him. They all looked stunned he observed and partially disoriented. Additionally they hadn't heard from Klarion since the last time they had foiled his plans on raging chaos upon the earth, that had been weeks ago.

"Kla-"

"I have summoned you heroes here. For the moment it is fruitless to try to leave because of the magic barrier." Okay rude to be cut of but that explained why he suddenly wasn't where he remembered to be last anymore. It was now Superboy who opened his mouth first but before he could even make a sound Klarion decided to speak over them again. "I have presents."

Four young heroes collectively blinked, confused, stunned and weirded out. As the which boy before them waved over to wards a table filled with boxes and packages. "I come in peace today, to proof that I brought these are presents, filled with various goods from different dimensions that should be to the liking of you all. Technologie, accessories, snacks, weapons, as well as clothing styles."

Red Robin shared a glance with his friends, a silent communication but before he once again could say anything Impulse was already by the table going through the stuff. They could here his 'oh's and 'ah's, which inevitably made them curious and they wandered over too. Klarion was not acting hostile at all yet but Red Robin did not trust that so he kept the which boy in clear view the entire time.

"Rob! You gotta see this! That actual futuristic Tech!"

"Look at these snacks."

"These accessories don't look to bad..."

His eye twitched when he noticed Klarion was sporting a smug look. Red Robin had to ask now, because this was not normal for the other. "Okay usually you would have started some big shot chaos plan by now. I don't buy this peace offering act and your way to formal talking. So what is going on?"

The other three, thankfully in Red Robins opinion, finally looked away from the tempting gifts and also turned their attention fully on Klarion. Who's smug smile falter as he let out a sigh and stared at them with what they could only describe as a frustrated look.

"My mom is planning to visit me."

"And?" Impulse asked between munching on three different bags of chips that where on the table.

"And he believes I am friends with you idiots."

They stared slack jawed. Impulse was pinching himself like he couldn't believe what they had just heard. Did one of their Villains, just informed them that their mom believes they were friends? Red Robin was starting to think he might be in a sleep deprived Hallucination.

"Why would she?" Wonder Girl questioned next to which Klarion glared at her with fire in his eyes.

"First of, my mom uses the pronouns he/Him. Be rude to my mom and I will find a way to make your life a permanent hell on earth." Wonder Girl blinked lifting her hands as in a sign of peace. "Second, my mom is under the believe that i work with heroes not against them. I do not have the heart to disappoint him after everything that happened in the past. So I embellished the truth a little."

"A little?" Superboy retorted sarcastically, to which they caught a light blush dusting the which boy's cheeks.

"Look my sister threw me under the bus and my mom wants to meet my friends now! So I need you idiots to play nice with me for when he visits!"

"And we will do that because?" Red Robin crossed his arms, watching their villain sceptically still not really buying this entire act. This was to strange of an behaviour change. Something was up, and he was going to get behind it.

Klarion on the other hand was starting to panic internally. His plan was not as he had hoped. The presents he had specifically gotten from other dimensions with what he believed was their interests did not work to make them simply accept his request. This was the last time he would listen to old man Vlad on how to bribe humans, he wasted his entire week on getting all that stuff. His mom was going to show up soon enough he need to have them act as his friends by then so he could remove the magic barrier. Or else his mom would notices he faked everything.

They left him no choice. He would have to throw his pride away for the sole reason to not disappoint his mom.

All four Young Justice Heroes blinked as Klarion suddenly threw himself on the ground before them into a pleading position.

"Please! I beg you, just for the time my mom is here. Please act like my friends!"

"I didn't think Klarion was a mama's boy...." Impulse whispered to the rest of them in pure disbelief as they stared stunned at the kneeling witch boy.

Cut to the heroes that noticed their teens were missing.....

"Where is he?" Batman growled at the Constantine who was sighing tiredly.

"Look mate, the way you and the other Spandex wearing friends explained it, made it sound like they got summoned by a being of the Infinit Realms." The blond man sighed lighting another cigarette eying the four heroes, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash. Zatanna was behind him pouring over a book about the realms and trying to find a tracking spell to trace it back and to where they could have been summoned.

"Don't you have something like a tracker on your boy?" Batman only growled something under his breath to which the Brite couldn't help to arch and eyebrow. Constantine was going to say something sarcasting as Deadman suddenly appeared a panicked look on him. "The Ghost King has chosen to come to our dimension."

"Say bloody what now?" All attention that had been on the heroes and their problem of missing teenage heroes turned now to Deadman and the news he brought with him. "The ghost, shades and spirits talked, for the king has decided to visit our Dimension. They are in an uproar, no one knows of why our King is on his way."

"Bloody fucking hell!" Constantine cursed. "We are fucking screwed! Isn't that guy a fucking tyrannical eldrich war maniac?!"

Deadman nodded solemnly and Constantine uttered another hearty and colourful 'fuck'. While the heroes present exchanged worried glances, not only were their kids missing but now a, by the sounds of it, highly dangerous being decided to appear in their dimension? Batman couldn't help but think that there had to be a connection to the missing teens and this.

Meanwhile in the Infinite Realms the Ghost King Castle...

Danny smoothed out his fur trimmed cape and adjusted his crown so it was floating nicely and evenly on his head. Today was the day he would get to meet his sons friends. He needed to make a good first impression. That was why he had chosen to take on his Ghost King form for this. With the wave of his hand he made an ice mirror appear before him, checking how he was looking once again. Once satisfied he nodded to himself looking over towards Fright Knight who was holding the plate of cookies he had baked himself. It was the fifth batch, and the only one that didn't turn out burned. He had needed Jazz help for this one to turn out well. It was only proper if he brought some cookies for the kids. Also he would have loved to bring his families fudge but... the last time he had tried making them had turned into a disaster.

"Thanks Frighty. Do you think Klarion's friends will like these? Wait don't answer! If they don't like them I will just get something else to thank them for taking care of my boy." Danny rambled on as he glanced at the plate of cookies in his hands. Why was he so nervous? He was just going to get to meet his little boy's friends. Sure his boy had dropped some stories about them and his adventures with them here and there. But hearing stories and meeting the kids were two different things.

Shaking his head Danny put on his best smile as he summoned a portal to Klarions apartment in the 43th Dimension of Earth. It was time to visit his boy in the place he had made his second home and thank the people that looked after his kid.

[portagas-chan]

Platonic Yandere Doflamingo and teen daughter reader

Overprotective Dad

Platonic Yandere Doflamingo x Daughter Reader

I tried my best. I hope you like it!

Doflamingo adored you and spoiled you rotten because you were his only child. His only daughter. To him, you were the most important person in his life and no one could prove him wrong. He will kill anyone who hurt you physically and mentally.

There was a time when you were a child and a maid accidentally spilled hot tea on you. You cried because the tea felt so hot on your skin and he quickly called a doctor and soothe you. After that incident, you noticed one thing. You never saw that maid again.

You were too young to understand back then but now you do. You turned 18 a few months ago. You were happy because you thought Doflamingo would finally let you leave the castle and explore the outside world. You thought you could finally travel the seas. That was your dream.

However, during your 18th birthday, you asked him if you could become a pirate like him and travel the seas but before you could even finish your sentence, he cut you off.

"No," just that simple one word was able to crush your dreams in an instant.

"Why?" You argued.

"The outside world is very dangerous, [Y/n]. How many times do I have to tell you that? There is no way you can become a pirate. This castle is the only safe place for you."

You furrowed your eyebrows, "But dad, I wanted to become a pirate like you. I just-"

He raised his voice, "[Y/n]! I don't want you to become a pirate like me. You know, I hate repeating myself. I don't want to hear about this topic again! Do you understand me?"

"Yes," You muttered.

"Now go to your room!"

That was the first time your dad had ever raised his voice at you. You left crying and feeling dejected.

But you were determined to leave. You loved your dad but sometimes he is just too much. You heard that he had to attend the Warlord meeting and will be back in a few days. You took this opportuinity to sneak out and it seems like luck was on your side because it was successful.

"Where is [Y/n]? Where did she go?!" Diamante panicked.

"I think she left. I checked every room in this castle and she is nowhere to be found," Baby 5 sighed.

"Fuck!" Diamante cursed.

"Doffy is going to be so mad," Trebol said.

"We have to tell him."

And they did. They told him about the terrible news through the den den mushi. He was flying in the sky heading towards Marineford but the news made him paused and he was thankful that he was still near dressrosa.

Doflamingo did not take it well. His frown deepened, his veins popped out on his forehead and he looked like he will kill anyone who gets in his way. Abandoning his meeting, he wasted no time and flew at the fastest speed back to Dressrosa.

An hour later, he arrived at his castle to see you tied up in your room. He glanced at Diamante, "Where did you find her?"

"Green bit. Thank god she didn't go too far. If we were a little late, she would have been gone for good."

He narrowed his eyes at Diamante's words, "Untie her."

Diamante nodded, obeying his orders.

"Fufufu~ You are very persistent, my daughter," He walked towards you with a grin. You could tell that even though he was grinning, he was very angry inside.

You were scared of what was going to happen next. You were born isolated from the world and now you sneaked out but got caught. There was no way he was going to continue let you live like you used to.

"I'm sorry, dad but I won't do it again! I promise!" You apologized hoping he would let it slide this time.

"Sure but can I trust you? I don't think I can. Last time, you asked me about this and I told you to never bring it up again. You said you won't but now look at what you did. You crossed the line, [Y/n]," He was no longer smiling. He looked upset, mad and most of all, disappointed in you.

You stayed silent because he was right. You lied to him but how could you not? You were getting tired of being restricted from leaving the castle.

When he saw that you have given up on going against him, his signature grin returned to his face.

"Starting from now on, you will be locked up in your room. And for extra precautions, I will have to put these bracelets on you" He took them out of his pocket.

"What?" You were confused. Bracelets for extra precautions?

Doflamingo took your hand and put on the bracelets on both of your wrists, "They will explode if you leave this castle."

You froze in place. Your eyes widened as you looked at your dad in fear and despair.

Doflamingo grinned and hugged you.

"Don't worry, [Y/n]. In this world, I will be the only one who loves you and care for you. I am the only one that will always be by your side. And that is why you can never leave your dad. Fufufu~"

[666writingcafe]

Conspiracy

Simeon

This is wrong. How is any of this deemed acceptable?

Ever since my and Luke's return to the Celestial Realm following the announcement of an indefinite postponement of the opening ceremony for Diavolo's school, these thoughts have been constant in my head.

You see, Father feels like the brothers haven't been punished sufficiently enough for defying Him. It's not enough for them to merely be cast down to the Devildom. In His eyes, they don't deserve the opportunity to live a happy life down there. He'd much prefer to personally torture them for the next millennia or so before casting their souls down in Cocytus for all of eternity.

So, He gave Michael permission to do whatever it takes to get the brothers back up here. Michael decided that the easiest way to convince them to leave the Devildom would be by telling them that we're willing to pardon them for their digressions. And since Michael's presence down there would make the brothers highly suspicious, he's planning on taking on the form of Raphael during his trip. After all, most of the brothers are scared of Raphael, so they'd do anything to avoid his wrath.

And guess whose responsibility is it to make sure that Michael's impression of Raphael is pretty much perfect?

Fucking Raphael. How dare he put this on my plate?

I've been disgusted with myself this entire time. Father is literally having us break one of His commandments for what? Petty revenge? What happened to "love thy neighbor"? Did Lucifer wound His pride so severely that He's forgotten how to act?

And the worst thing about all this is that I am powerless to stop it. As it is, if anyone found out I was questioning His will, I might as well be joining the brothers in Cocytus. I'm already on thin ice as it is due to me keeping vital information about the brothers from Him before and during the war.

And somebody has to take care of Luke. I don't trust the others to keep him from harm's way. They'd exploit his innocence for their own selfish needs, and I won't allow that to happen.

So I've kept my objections to myself. Through Michael's training, through my return to the Devildom to deliver the message to Diavolo about "Raphael's" arrival, and through this stupid meeting in the prince's home office. In His eyes, I'm behaving like the perfect angel, blindly doing what I'm told.

And then I made the mistake of making eye contact with Zephyr. It's only momentary, and yet time seems to slow down to a crawl.

I can't have them disappointed in me. We didn't talk a whole lot during my initial visit, but I know that they have a strong moral compass. They'd reject me if they found out that I kept this from them.

Before I can question my emotions too much, the meeting ends, and the six of us--Michael, Lucifer, Diavolo, Barbatos, Zephyr, and myself--walk out of the office and make our way down the hallway. Zephyr and I trail behind the others.

I have to move quickly. Before I change my mind and before anyone notices.

There's a nearby door that's slightly ajar. Perfect.

I quickly grab Zephyr and drag them inside the room, making sure to reposition the door back to where it was as to not cause suspicion. The second they make noise, I cover their mouth with my hand. Their eyes widen as I begin listening for returning footsteps.

Thankfully, no one comes to investigate.

"Will you remain quiet if I remove my hand?" I whisper urgently. Zephyr nods their head. Sure enough, they don't begin screaming for help when I let go.

"Good sheep," I murmur, mentally smacking myself when I fully register what left my mouth. Zephyr remains silent. This room is rather small. Did I shove the two of us in a closet?

Oh, this isn't good. I can already feel myself begin heating up, and I'm pretty sure it's not just due to the cramped space we're in.

"Listen carefully, because I'm only going to be able to say this once," I quietly tell them. Another nod. "It's a trap. They're not getting pardoned. You have to do everything in your power to convince them to stay here." Zephyr tilts their head and looks contemplatively at me. Are they questioning my intentions?

A moment later, they softly smile at me.

"Don't doubt yourself," they whisper softly. "You're doing the right thing." They gently push the door open again, allowing me to leave the room first.

I needed to hear that.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @interconnectedmatrix

[cukrkandl]

rosekiller microfic

— ace evan (my most beloved) | 821 words | cws: internalized acephobia, allonormativity, forcing yourself to have sex (nothing actually happens), very mild suggestive content

Evan stares at the tiny vial in his hands, the ever-present anxiety in his stomach growing again.

Six months of waiting for it to brew, of making excuses, of letting Barty down. And now Evan can finally be normal.

It takes him hours to find the courage to actually drink it. His brain, as always, works against him, because he doesn't want to have sex. He never had. Never will, he knows that now. That's why he had it brewing in an abandoned classroom for all those months, spending more time just staring at it than being with his actual boyfriend.

He drinks the potion thinking about Barty, how happy he'll be that Evan's finally ready. No matter how patient he's been, Evan knows he's frustrated. And horny.

The liquid makes him feel strange, and for a second, he thinks maybe he brewed it wrong, but then the feeling in his stomach just—disappears. His mind clears, and yeah, let's go find Barty. Let's do this thing.

Feeling like he has no control over his body, Evan walks to their dorm, and finds Barty sprawled in his bed. Immediately, his face brightens up, but he's not given a chance to speak before Evan kisses him.

If Barty's surprised, he recovers in record time, pulling Evan closer until he's straddling him. Evan likes this part; he knows it makes Barty want to have sex even more, but Evan enjoys this feeling. Like he's going to get consumed by it all, and he would let Barty eat him up, no questions asked. It's a different sort of closeness, and Evan craves it more than anything.

As if he could hear his thoughts, Barty breaks the kiss and bites the sensitive skin on his neck. Nothing hot about it at all, though Evan can't really be the judge of that, just something primal.

Eventually, though, it always gets uncomfortable. It stops feeling good. Barty's hands start wandering, his fingers start getting itchy, and Evan's brain makes it feel bad. It's all wrong.

Not anymore.

As Barty plants both of his hands on Evan's ass, he pulls away. Barty wants to have sex, it's easy to tell. Evan doesn't know why he's been waiting for him. He deserves better.

For just a brief second, Evan mourns his own wishes for nothing but a lot of this, for getting lost in the kisses, and then maybe cuddling, and closes his eyes, letting the Felix Felicis do the work for him.

If he has to drink it for the rest of his life to have sex—well. Maybe he'll get used to it.

But instead of giving him an answer to one of the biggest mysteries of the universe and forcing him to finally do it, the potion makes him say, "I don't want to have sex with you." And if that wasn't bad enough: "Like, ever."

Barty freezes. He looks up at Evan, carefully removing his hands from his ass, slow like he's scared Evan will implode. Honestly, he might. He was supposed to take this to his grave.

He wants to take it back, but the potion won't let him. No words come out, nothing happens, and fuck, what is Evan supposed to do now?

He can't even cry.

"Okay," Barty says.

What?

"What?"

"I said okay," Barty repeats. "I don't care."

"But you—you want to," Evan says, whining. Why isn't the potion working?

Except it is, he can feel it inside of him, but how is this luck? Disappointing your boyfriend? Denying him something he has every right to want?

But Barty just shrugs. "Can I still jerk off?"

"Wha—yeah?"

"Can I still touch you? Like what we were just doing."

"Yeah?"

"Can we still cuddle?"

"Yeah," Evan whispers, his secret wish coming back with so much force it nearly knocks him over. "You really don't mind?"

"I don't think so? I mean, I thought I couldn't live without sex, but look at me, we've been together for what, eight months now? And I'm fine. I didn't die. My hand might fall off one day, and then we'll have a problem, but I'm fine."

He looks like he's telling the truth, too, just lying there, his fingers drawing tiny circles on the back of Evan's hand. Calming him down.

Oh. Oh.

"I love you," Evan blurts out, and it's all him, no liquid luck.

Barty smirks. "You'd better."

And then he just resumes the kissing, putting his hands back on Evan's ass, except that's all there is. Evan's still trained to make himself feel bad about it, but it doesn't—it feels fine. It's just touching, nothing more looming over it, and that makes it okay.

He loses himself in the kiss, feeling so incredibly lucky.

Barty bites down on his lip, hard, and Evan lets himself be consumed. The potion inside of him stays silent. He doesn't need any more luck.

[sdyd]

* ALWAYS WATCHING OVER YOU. sentence starters from kaigan games' horror series, simulacra. change pronouns / tense as necessary.

now we are luminous, a bright star. all shall see us !

I've been trying to reach out ...

thank god I found this phone.

you are not worthy of respect.

poor unfortunate soul.

you're just like the rest, a sheep.

tragic. we can change that.

you think you can stop me ?

I have no use for someone who accepts the world they are given.

no one truly deserves anything.

I ate and entire pizza by myself in five minutes.

tell me I'm pretty.

material attachment is so pedestrian.

behind your glass screens, behind your black mirrors, is a reflection of reality.

we seek those with extraordinary influence.

you are lost.

it is easy to be led astray when you are so broken.

you deserve to be followed.

you looked through his phone ?!

he has the nerve to accuse me of invading his privacy.

you're the one who went out of line.

I am not even mad, just disappointed.

how are you feeling ?

can you stop being so emotional right now ?

you've got the wrong person.

I'm not who you think I am.

you're better than this, [ name ].

what are you rambling about ?

maybe he'll slip up and tell you something we don't know.

there's something on my mind ...

it's not my fault that she left you.

if you're obsessed with me, I get it.

there's something off about him.

it's too late for me.

she can still be saved.

do not trust its' words.

nothing is what it seems.

I saw him, then I blacked out.

it only reveals itself too its' chosen

he told you, didn't he ?

I am her as she is me.

if it is me you wish to see, so be it.

impressive. a worthy pretender.

you have seen through my mask.

do you crave the truth so badly ?

the material society is fading, a digital one taking its' place.

she did nothing wrong and nothing right.

is that how you've been feeling ?

expecting him to follow you is pointless.

your actions will carry weight. live with them.

fuck this silent treatment. fuck it so much.

hello, worm.

don't forget your headphones.

no more losing, only growing.

when you look into my eyes, you can see it looking back.

join the fun !

worms, how are we feeling today ?

my followers are my puny worms.

there is no end or beginning.

we will never be separated.

pretender.

soon, this will become your reality.

hola chikas !

grovel as we consider your divinity.

that old fool mistakeningly thinks he has solved this.

your concept of right and wrong eludes me.

your own suffering will lead you back to us

how does it feel when everyone leans on you for guidance ?

don't compare yourself to me. ever. you're not on my level and you never will be.

don't you kids link everything to the cloud these days ?

are you having a stroke ?

who's going to believe us if we said some face - tearing monster killed them ?

I'm not a cartoon rabbit.

life hurts a lot more than death.

yes, a person was ruined.

this is not your memory.

I was lost and you sensed my need. I followed your path and you kept me from falling.

you need a form. a new body, a new face. a true face ... I will do this for you.

what is the current status of the investigation ?

[ name ] appears to be on this alone.

focus, please.

tell me, what do you see ?

step, seek, and proceed.

your path is coming to an end.

tell me, what do you doubt ?

find the truth.

my perversion fails to deceive you. you have seen through my mask.

what's the worst that could happen ?

we will never be separated.

you showed me that the human heart can hide so much more.

you have given me a great gift.

why won't you just let him be happy ?

this cannot be !

you and I are not that different.

I'm really scared. I've been trying to reach out.

I asked for your name.

then who will save me ?

it's getting harder to think.

I need to get out of here !

help me defeat this thing, [ name ] !

I'm right here. you won't go through this alone.

you should go.

it's up to you now.

promise that you'll remember me ?

I'm glad your here.

the only way forward is to disappear.

who am I to deny their wish ?

no one deserves that.

I should have paid more attention.

I valued my own ambition over their cries for help.

I forgot who I was.

is it really that easy ?

everything is slipping away.

you really think I can do this ?

embrace your sins.

you wear the face of a ghost.

you're unable to exist without something to latch onto.

GET ! OUT ! OF ! MY ! HEAD !

I don't know what to say ...

you pulled me back. thank you.

that's what partners are for.

I'm not letting you go that easily !

thanks for believing in me.

we've got so much to talk about.

I'm not afraid anymore. I feel clarity.

don't deny its' voice, let it through.

I just embraced the truth.

I'm here. I'm not leaving you.

you've seen the damage I can do.

no one deserves that.

you're safe, you're with me.

now, where were we ?

I can't lose you too !

I'm on my way ! just stay on the line !

you can do this.

[arkiwii]

hello Liberi's Birdcage Tm as a fiaexu enjoyer, i would like to know, what're your thoughts on the chicken herself fiammetta? i adore her and her themes personally

u can call me kiwi or whatever (i didn't know people would call me by my blog's name LMAO)

my my, Fiammetta. she's a lot to talk about. i have, SEVERAL thoughts about her. well, I firstly got interested in her character as well as Mostima's thanks to a friend, so I'm not as much as involved as this person is, and most of what I've learned comes from our conversations. But you know, having people share about a character they like makes you Realize Things

also I hope I won't disappoint you by saying that I'm not into Fiaexu, so I won't be able to give opinions or analysis on it. like i said to someone, Fiaexu is the good ending. and man I want her to get the bad ending.

my memories of Guide Ahead are quite blury and Laterano isn't the lore I'm the most involved into, mostly because it's Complicated. I'm more of a person involved in a character's development and their mentality, and good for me, Fiammetta is full of angst and anger

what I particularly love in her? it's her "obsession" for Mostima (and Lemuen, but it's way more marked towards Mostima). i dont mean obsession as in "she likes her", i mean obsession as in This Girl Has A Problem. Her Operator Record in particular was putting an accent on it and it was delightful. Fiammetta decided to be Mostima's overseer, not because Mostima needs an overseer, but because Fiammetta was worried for Mostima. and who could blame her! Lemuen got shot down, Mostima has fallen, lost her Empathy, and is now banned from Laterano. it's only natural that Fiammetta was worried, and scared to lose someone she deeply cares about.

Turns out. Mostima is doing very fine on her own. Fiammetta thought that Mostima wouldn't be doing fine, and that's the opposite rather. so Fia puts herself through lies, convincing herself that she's here to keep an eye on Mostima, to help her, or whatever... then there's this line Patrizion says in her Operator Record. "Fia, it's not Mostima who needs you. You are the one who needs her."

that was a fucking ROCK thrown at my face i can tell you

Fiammetta always has been this one person to look cold, to look like she doesn't care about anyone, then you discover she has attachment issues. the incident with Andoiain in particular was the cataclysm. she almost lost two of her most precious friends. you BET she wants to put this man in hell. she doesn't care about anything else, this whatever ideal of Laterano he has, the Key and the Lock, whatever; she wants this man to DIE because he tried to take HER friends LIVES.

and because of this, because of her choices, she's throwing her life around. she's destroying herself. ironically, considering her thematic as a phoenix and her talent. but it's literally what is happening. she's just combusting slowly.

she could have a good life! become an Apostolic Knight! be with her adoptive dad! fight for Laterano! but no, instead, she actively decided to follow Mostima-I-Don't-Care around while telling herself a million excuses as of why she does it, "I don't want her to reveal secrets", "I need her to find Andoiain", "she needs my help"

AND of course Mostima being Mostima, her whole "I don't give a fuck about people" behavior is only worsening it, she tries to get away from Fiammetta but also can't escape her, it drags Fia to get ever more clingy... I'm pretty sure Mostima cares about Fia, deep inside, but she handles it just SO SO badly instead of just Having A Conversation

anyway, so Fiammetta? 10/10. i love this bird. i want her to get an alter where she gets better. or worse. Fiammetta the Renatus or whatever. im drooling about it

[diaryofme98]

Journal Entry #2

The power was out yesterday and I used the time to read through some of the texts I sent Fabian last year to the fake number. Honestly, now that I know he for sure read all of these, because of Finch (thanks Fabian) it gives me a different perspective on them. We really did bond in a fucked up way in June.

I told him about all my psychosis, every single problem I ever had with my family, my insecurities, etc. I showed him a gross picture of my room, I sent him a picture of my boob, and I sent him a thousand gifs of couples kissing when I was going through the worst of my psychosis and needed something happy to focus on.

The most fucked up part about June is I used texting Fabian as a coping mechanism. I used it to help me with the worst of my schizophrenia. So for him to just... Take everything I said and use it to scare me. Man. It's uncool. It is totally uncool. I thought we had something going with each other. Yeah he never responded through the fake number, but we had a bond going. We were repairing the damage between us.

So for him to fucking go all American Psycho on my ass, get an honest to God bald cap, and scare the shit out of me when he knew how poorly I was doing... It's just fucking disappointing. Like I expected better of him.

I trusted him with the most vulnerable parts of me and once again he fucking disappointed me and betrayed me. He keeps doing this. I don't know how he can drive to my freaking house and scare me then text me telling me he wants nothing to do with me. It's a far distance between Texas and California! It isn't an easy trip to make! He put so much effort into scaring me! He's such a jerk.

I know in his defense I said some pretty not okay things on my texts last year. I mean. I WAS in psychosis. I wouldn't have said those things in my right mind. I certainly wouldn't have sent a photo of my boob either. So it's like. Cut me a break. I just talked about family incest and being molested as a kid. And thank God none of that really happened but ... I fucking thought it did? I genuinely thought my dad raped me? I was paranoid and psychotic. He didn't need to make it worse by scaring me. Fabian could have used the most vulnerable time of my life to be there for me. He could have helped me! Instead he made it worse.

I don't know what to think of Fabian anymore. I know he knows too much about me. The mess that occurred last year... I told him everything. And maybe it is a good thing we aren't in each other's lives anymore. I don't know. I don't even know if I have feelings for him anymore. I don't know if I see him as a best friend anymore. I'd like to. But I probably just need to choose myself for once. I need to protect myself.

I know he's probably reading my blog. He'll probably keep reading this to see if I figure out anymore about him stalking me on a motorcycle. Or he'll just read it in general to stalk me.

If you are reading this Fabian:

I wish we could put aside the bullshit and talk. I won't tell anyone you stalked me last year if you are honest about it. I think you'll find I'm a pretty accepting person. I just want to talk to you. Yeah you did something weird and fucked up, but clearly my texts from last year pissed you off. It's not an excuse but like... I get you are a human. I get you have emotions. I get you have reasons for doing what you do. I'd rather not just be a girl you stalk quietly. I'd rather be in your life in some capacity. I'd be your friend again, if you ever wanted that. I don't know why you are willing to stalk me but you aren't willing to talk to me. Am I that freaking scary? You scared me! I'm not that intimidating. I'm 5'3, I have schizophrenia, and I'm kind of probably just the same nerd you remember dating. I'm not that different honestly. My medicine manages my mental illness. I'm really just- I'm really just okay.

I go to Baylor next year for college. Maybe you'll be more willing to talk to me when I'm away from my family. I don't know why I get that vibe. I guess cause you stalked me. So maybe when I'm alone you'll talk to me. I don't know. I'll move on with my life, I'll do other things, but I'll probably always be curious about talking to you. Not only cause you were my first love, but I think you are mentally fucked up in the same way as me, we are both weirdos as you once told me. And I never did meet another person like you.

[riosongco]

Thoughts Before Going Into Labor

My pregnancy journey is coming to an end and my emotions are overflowing. I am frankly overwhelmed as D-day is nearing. I am feeling everything all at once and I feel the need to get it off my chest because I need to be calm and relaxed once the day comes.

9 months of carrying a child in your womb isn't a joke and while a lot of mothers just want it to end, I am not sure if I am on the same boat. I'm just not ready!

I don't know what scares me most — the pain of childbirth, the cost of raising a child in this economy, or the fact that the time has finally come...I am now responsible for another human being for the rest of my life. (P.S. I have obviously thought and considered all those things when I found out I was pregnant but nothing really prepares you for when the time comes!)

As an only child, I was naturally selfish. I only cared about myself. I never had to think about or take care of anyone else and when you grow up in a dysfunctional environment, you question what family really means and then a mix of doubts, fears, hopes, and longing fill your mind. On the bright side, it makes you aware of what to avoid, what to be, and what you want for your chosen family, should you wish to start one.

I never really dreamed of becoming a mother but I do know I wanted a family eventually and I promised myself that when the time comes, I'll be the parent I never had.

I guess that's where all the pressure roots from.

Will I be a good mother? Am I actually cut out to be one? Will our daughter be proud to have me in her life? Will I be able to give her the life she truly deserves?

I've never been this hard on myself — overthinking each night, already thinking a million steps ahead, waking up in the middle of my sleep cycle, writing every thought that goes in my head at 5 in the morning, and constantly crying, praying, and wishing for everything to fall into place.

Sometimes I question if I ever made the right decision, to bring our innocent child into this fucked up world. Yes, I hear you. I chose to have a child but I'm allowed to feel scared because I know how cruel the world can be and I don't want her to grow up in a toxic environment.

I know I could only do so much as a mother and it's extremely impossible to live a life without obstacles but I just want to protect our little girl from every heartbreak this world has to offer, the way I wished to be protected.

At this point, I am just scared and anxious for what's to come and well, also exhausted of staying strong.

It's a hard pill to swallow but each day just reminds me that most of the time, all we really have is ourselves. The people who are supposed to be there for us turn out to be such disappointments.

However, I remain grateful for everyone who showed up and helped me along the way. I must have done something right in this lifetime to find family among friends and colleagues.

To old friends I've reconnected with and to new ones I've gained along the way, thank you for sharing this journey with me and for checking in on me. I am truly thankful for all the love and support you have shown. Those kept me going.

The uncertainty is killing me inside. I hate that I don't have all the answers I want and need at this time. I don't know how things are gonna be moving forward. I know I won't be a perfect mom but as long as our child is proud to call me her mom and not wish me death then I'm all good.

Here's to a new chapter. To new beginnings, to life, and to love! x

[belladonnagecko]

A letter to my father:

You want the truth? Fine. But I'm not going to listen to you interrupt me just to tell me how I feel. As if you have any clue. I am so tired of you reminding me about everything I hate about myself. I'm sick of being the polished garbage you only talk about when it looks nice. I am Done listening about how I am fucking up my future. Do me a favor and shut up for once. You only ever hear what you expect. You only listen when it benefits you. You always talk over me and I can't stand it.

You wanna know why mom speaks for me? Cause you don't talk over her. You at least hear her, even if only slightly. I am not your trophy, I am not something to make you look good in front of your friends, I am not whatever perfect little young lady you want me to be. I don't know who you're looking for in me, but they don't exist. I don't think they ever did. That being said. I don't know who you are. My dad left for work one day and you came home. Whoever you are, all but killed my dad. I rarely see him anymore. Give him back. Please. You look at me with disappointment constantly. Like a waste of potential.

You don't know me, I don't know you. We are both to blame. But you are the reason I changed. You are the reason I can't talk to you.

You want the truth? The bitter, awful, brutal truth?

You send me to therapy. You made me become medicated. Mom can believe what she wants, but all that stress, all that anger, it stemmed from the self hate you gave me.

There are truths better left unsaid. Things you don't get to know, because they're my truths. I lie to protect myself from you. Because I'm scared of how you'll react. Because I can't face the disappointment and fear in your voice. Regardless, it is unfair to us both.

I don't think I want to go to university. I don't care what you guys think is the best path for me. It's my life, not yours. Stop trying to tell me how I should live it. I want to be young and stupid and the child I refused to be.

Everyone else gets to fuck up. Everyone else is allowed to stumble and break. I can't have a bad day without being called an asshole. I can't have a bad day without you threatening to take something from me. You expect me to be fine and dandy constantly. Well guess fucking what?

I am an asshole. I am pissed. I am a royal bitch. I am not okay. I am sick and broken and hurt. By my hand or otherwise. But I am trying. And I'm so tired of needing to.

I hate that I love you. I hate that I care about you. I hate that I keep trying to understand your side of things even when you don't give a shit about mine. I hate that my friends can see that. I hate that you cannot.

I despise the way you talk to mom like she’s a child. For a while it was the main reason I was mad at you.

I blame myself for so much shit. I blame you for that. Mom tries SO HARD to support you and back you up and all you do is talk down to her. You ungrateful bastard.

Speaking of which.

Thank you for going to hell for us. Thank you for helping us do what we love. Thank you for trying. There are not enough times I can say it. I love you. Even if it kills me.

So I'm sorry, if I hurt you the way you hurt me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't explain more. I'm sorry that I won't. I'm sorry that you're just as fucked up and broken as me.

But damn you anyway.

[joyjoyjoy]

hi again

tumblr is lowkey dying, and it has been for a long time, so I don't feel any remorse for making it my online diary. I was thinking of starting a substack, but I want to write actual half-academic essays for it instead of whatever the fuck I write on my diary (analog) or on here. I realized there is a lot of pent-up emotional writing I have kept inside; I might need to get it out of the way before I go onto the big leagues.

Jack is still heavy on my mind. Heavy. I don't know how to shake him off. It's been more than a year since I last saw him and a solid seven months since I last spoke to him. He still dawns on my psyche every now and then. Maybe it's because I'm in Europe and last time I was in this continent I was grieving our relationship heavily. Since he haunted me again with the emails, and proceeded to ghost me (WHO GHOSTS SOMEONE THROUGH EMAIL YOU HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF UNAWARE SON OF EVIL ?!!), I never really got closure. Writing about the subject will have to keep me afloat from that. I don't know. I'm trying my best. I deleted his number so I cannot ever text him or drunk call him again, but I do still have his substack and his email. If he didn't change it that's it. I got a feeling to go look for his writing and so I saw that he had 3 new entries and they're all pretty mediocre and not in the way that you would usually use mediocre but in the way that Jack would be. He would have a high level of intellectualism but then use it in the laziest way imaginable, translating into a half-assed train of thought neuron to keyboard ineligible 275 words. Disappointing. Whatever. Nat is right, he is not all that! He has a podcast and vapes for fucks sakes! Think!

Anyhow, I was reading his best friend's substack (Cole) and he was saying how-- let me just copy and paste the excerpt. He goes:

"I’d really love to become a famous New York alt-lit author. Move to the big city, go on Red Scare, meet Nick Mullen; but my crippling nicotine addiction is standing in my way. A few days ago I quit vaping, and now I find myself thinking about it every second of every day. I don’t know how I’m supposed to become a famous New York alt-lit author if all I can think about is nicotine instead of writing short fiction about what a very interesting life I live."

This is how I feel about men and it infuriates me how blatant and bland their obstacles can be! I wish my only obstacle would be a stupid little vape! JUST BUY A GODDAMN PATCH AND MAN UP! idk get arrested or go to the army or something! I, on the other hand, have the generational trauma of latina women and the weight of chauvinist society on my shoulders. Plus my daddy not being present is not helping my case whatsoever. The thing is, unlike Cole, I've already quit this whole men-shablam and guess what? they still come back. With more fury and rage than before. You thought the last one treated you bad? just you wait darling! and I'm just supposed to take it because the alternative is to not have sex with any of them and then be haunted by the ghost of previous men who have treated me like shit aka what is going on right now! They won't leave my goddamn brain and I do admit it at least gets me to write, but if all I write and all I have to say is my laments for the male species... then do I have to say anything at all?

I consider myself to be someone quite eloquent, quite intellectual, well-read, and self-actualized. In moments like these though, it is hard to believe such things. I don't know how I'm supposed to become the person I have to be if I'm being held up by men who would hang up on me and don't think I'm even worthy of a reply. He doesn't think I am even worthy of a reply and this is how I repay myself. Instead of being kind and letting go, I transfix and still read his pedestrian personal essays a year later.

Be someone you are proud of. Be someone you respect. You have other men who love you in your life, don't pay mental energy to the ones who don't.

[foul-milk]

tw su*cidal ideation

I feel so so lost in where I am in life right now. I feel like I can't do anything right and won't ever have it in me to amount to anything. And the environment I'm in is making it so much worse. I never wanted to go to uni, but I still applied and went because my parents were pressuring me massively. I literally cried through the entire summer because that's how much I didn't want to go and I knew 100% that I would hate it. And now the semester has started and I was absolutely right. I hate the course, I hate the topic of the lectures, the professors and even my classmates. They're exactly the type of people that I never ever want to become like. My depression is back in full swing after 2 years and it terrifies me that I'm back in a mindset where I want to **** myself every day. I worked so hard to get out of this pit of darkness the first time and I'm so scared that I'm back in the same mental state as the worst period of my life. I'm back to not being able to enjoy anything and feeling like I'll never be happy here. There is just no way. This was never the life that I wanted to live and it's tearing at me that I have to put so much effort and work into something that I despise. I wanted to learn a well paying trade so I could earn some capital to start my business. I even chose the course and had everything planned out. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and that was the only thing that I was motivated for because I knew that I could achieve the life that I wanted. But this was not even an option in my parents eyes. They basically said that it's either uni or I'm out of the house, and of course I didn't want to get kicked out so I went, but I have realised that I cannot do this. I'm not the type of person to just put my head down and accept a situation when I can change it. But it's just such an impossible situation because I don't want to disappoint my parents but also I can't keep doing what I'm doing right now. I feel like I'm going to **** myself if I don't leave immediately. I don't even know how to explain it but I just feel so desperate like if I don't leave I'm going to suffocate. I see no future in my major and the type of doors it could open for me I would rather not take thank you. I know for sure that I'm dropping out in the next month because if not I'm literally going to either go insane or **** myself. I hate myself so much because why can't I be normal for once and just go to uni. Like why do I have to be so fucked up. And I can't even talk about this with anyone because no one understands what I'm feeling or really even cares about how I'm doing. No one can relate and they're either indifferent or just straight up tell me that I'm an idiot. My parents are acting like I'm going to be some sub-human species if I don't get a degree but It's hard to listen to the advice of people who are living the type of life that I'm trying to avoid. They're putting so much pressure on me to do everything like they did when they're still unhappy. And not even wealthy either, so I really don't see why they're so desperate to get me to be like them. I realise that I sound like a whiny brat saying all this but I'm desperate at this point. I keep trying to start conductive conversations with my parents and they just scoff at me. It makes me feel worthless that I tell them that I want to **** myself and they just ignore it. They know this is not the first time I've felt like this but they don't even care because they're living in their own idea of what uni is like and not reality. They keep saying that college was the best time of their lives and that's when they were happiest and it's my fault that I don't like it because I'm doing everything wrong, all the while ignoring everything I'm telling them about my experience and how it's completely different to how it was 30 years ago. It's so bad and I have no motivation to endure it because I don't even want to work in this field and I never even wanted to go here in the first place. Honestly, what am I supposed to do now? I'm so lost.

[ultravariety]

when i was in elementary/middle school i had this group of friends, but truthfully only one 'friend' and just a bunch of acquaintances. anyways, this group would sometimes do these "tests" where they would make fun of me, and pick on me, and when i stood up for myself, they would grade me and say i failed for talking back instead of just listening, since they were in the right. or we had 'friend performance reviews' that would basically be them gathering in a circle and telling everyone what we didn't like about each other and boy did they have a list for me. it was fair, i was pretty pathetic (still am). i stopped trying to hang out with them, i was really only friends with one girl in the group, and everyone seemed so annoyed with my presence. i think i was too ugly for them.

in middle school, i had this one friend, who was also in a big friend group, and she would swap me out for other people if numbers were skewed. like one time they kicked me out of the group for some white boy she was into. and told me to go find some other group to do the assignment with. same friend group carried through to high school where again, for prom, that "friend" wouldn't even let me not attend prom. weirdly was like "well if you don't go, then i won't go and we can just spend the day together" and i was like "uh no, fine i'll go to prom." and she didn't even sit near me or talk to me during prom. why the fuck was i there

in uni, i didn't have a friend group or anything, but in my final year i was in a trio with a narcissist and i don't think i'll ever truly get over how everyone treated me when i stopped being friends with her. she talked non stop shit about me, and i didn't want to talk about her at all. so she'd make fun of me to everyone we knew and then pretend she was this really nice person and i was being a bitch. and no one really talked to me, outside of my 3 friends from work. the other girl in our trio stuck with her until they graduated. they don't talk anymore and we reconnected since then. but i sometimes get resentful about it. i don't want to hold it against anyone, so i try to let it go. so really i'm operating on "bury the hatchet, remembers where" kind of vibe.

i think a lot about how my friendships with people have gone over the years. i'm so terrified of making some genuine connections, especially in large groups. i hate it so much, i think my body now goes into survival mode if i'm with a group of people.

i want to be better at friendships and genuine connections but when i think of so many of my past friendships, they were built on either telling me what to do or trying to change me/change parts they didn't like about me (treating me like shit). even now, im scared of trying to make friends. what if i fall into the same patterns? i always end up in these scenarios so it's my fault i end up here. how do i get out of it?

yet there are so many times where i've disappointed people or been such a let down, that i don't really blame people for not wanting me around. and i want to be better!! especially some friends who tried to incorporate me into their lives more. i really fucked it up with them.

there are 2 old friends who dropped all contact from me. and they never responded to me asking them to hang out or anything. or they just ignore me all together. and again, i don't blame them. i was a cunt. not a good friend, i was such a downer and i would project like there was no tomorrow. and i don't blame them for not liking me or wanting to speak with me. people ask me about them, and i don't know how to say "she cut me out of her life and wants nothing to do with me :)"

i've been trying to explain to people that i am a loser, and i'm saying this not for sympathy or anything, i genuinely am aware of what a loser i am and i want to be better. i want to be able to hold my own and foster a group that doesn't make me feel like shit. i want to find a group that makes me feel confident and happy and not scared to show myself around them.

i now just have individual friendships. real one on one type of shit. i go out to lunch/dinner with them, we catch up and then bounce. or we'll go for an activity and do stuff together. but group activities, group chats, group anything, feels like a fucking nightmare.

and honestly, friendships all together have been very unfulfilling. i feel bad for saying it, and it's no one's problem other than mine. i'm unsatisfied. but it's my fault so i need to fix it myself.

i say all this, knowing what an unlikeable bitch i am. i want to be better, but i'm barely even good lol. i'm unresponsive, im keep taking more than i give and i have unrealistic expectations out of people. i'm self centered and focused on all the wrong things. i don't know how to live in the moment or be normal. i don't really know anything

it's so much of an overhaul to be where i want to be. it's a complete redesign of me, and it's hard to cope with. i hate all aspects of me. and i think no matter how hard i try to reinvent, when all parts are garbage, it's hard to even want to reinvent at all.

it's kinda why i wish i just died or something. if i was never really any good, then i'm only doing this work to just cope with a world that i'm not even compatible with. i don't want to reinvent myself and be a new person, but the old me sucks. well still me, i haven't really changed. how different could i really be? i'm still a loser

i remember telling someone this is how i feel and the response i got was "wow i cannot relate to you at all, i just don't get it. sounds rough!" and we carried on. i feel like it's all in my head then, right? i'm the one who has an issue, i shouldn't really concern other people.

the idea of dying is always so much more enticing than persevering to live. the thought of ending it all, feels so much more relaxing than trying. feels like it'll be more rewarding too.

my body has been shaking and jolting more. i get these little tremors and my hands convulse. and if i do something weird with my head it sends those shocks through my body. i wonder if it'll finally happen

that's fucked up, but i look forward to my funeral. when i'm super depressed, i start planning it. and i think if it is going to be my body collapsing instead of me committing, i should write letters to everyone. but what would i say?

"hey, sorry. i hated being alive so much, i feel like this is the least i could do for everyone else's sake"

welp time to go to work i guess

[devils-rising]

I'm so scared it'll happen again. I can handle throwing up nonstop for days because at least I have things that can comfort me, but this? Please. I can't do this. I hate this body.

[iamasimperyk]

Killer(Part 3) -Vinnie Hacker

Note: I guess that is the last part, but don't worry, I have a lot of ideas for other imagines:)

Warning: Violence, angst, fluff, sadistic actions, kidnapping

Summary: Vinnie kidnapped Y/n and his sadistic side came out, till something else happens.

Part1 Part2

When I woke up I was in my basement, tied up, and blindfolded.

Vinnie. He had known I was going to run away, and now he was going to kill me like he had been planning all along.

Once again, I was scared, it was cold, and I couldn't see anything. The only reason I knew I was in the basement was because of the smell. I never came down here. I don't know why, but it smelled rotten and mouldy down here. A cold shiver ran down my spine, and as if that wasn't enough, I suddenly heard footsteps. It could only be Vinnie, and suddenly all the love I felt for him was gone.

I felt a hand on my cheek and immediately tried to free myself from the ropes. "You're awake. Don't worry, princess, I won't hurt you. Not yet, at least." He whispered in my ear, which sent another shiver down my spine.

"P-please." I said with a dry mouth.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. But I'm really disappointed in you. You were going to leave me." He sighed, but the anger in his voice was visible.

"I didn't want to leave you, but I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to go for a walk." I lied, hoping he would believe me.

I heard him laugh briefly, "You wanted to go for a walk in your pyjamas? You wanted to go for a walk without taking your keys with you? You wanted to go for a walk without a jacket even though it's cold outside?"

I felt how he got angrier and angrier until he finally pulled the blindfold off and looked at me. He looked at me with a grin, but not that seductive grin, but the grin of a maniac. A psychopath, he was a psychopath.

"V-Vinnie, please. I was afraid you'd get me pregnant even if I didn't want to." I started to cry.

He shook his head and took a step back, "You're so pathetic. No wonder you lived here alone and took me in right away. You're nothing, a nobody, and I will make sure no one ever takes you as his girlfriend again."

What was that supposed to mean?

"I know...you're going to kill me, right?" I asked, and he laughed out loud.

"Oh, Y/n. My naïve little princess. Of course not, but I'm going to make you suffer like I suffered when I saw you trying to leave me," he grinned sadistically, "That reminds me, my initials are still engraved on your ass cheek. That's the first reason why you won't find someone else, because which man wants another's men initials on his girls' ass?"

If that was even possible, I was even more scared now. "What are you going to do with me?" I asked fearfully, looking at him with glassy eyes.

"I could get you pregnant, of course, and you would be bound to me for life, but you don't deserve to have my child, but I will make sure you can't have one from any other man as well." He grinned before the door opened, and a man in a white coat came in.

"Mr. Hacker, we can start now." He said, to which Vinnie just grinned and put the blindfold on me again. He leaned down to my ear, "I will see you later, don't scream too much, princess."

I heard the door close as Vinnie left the room, and I was alone with the stranger. Before I knew it, I felt a hell of a pain in my vagina. One cut. Two cuts. Three cuts.

After a few more painful minutes, the pain stopped. I was numb, I heard the door open, and before I knew it, the blindfold was off, and Vinnie was standing in front of me.

"Don't be sad, be happy that you no longer need to fuck anyone. It would be hard without a clit." He grinned, and my eyes fell on my bandaged vagina. I began to scream and cry as loud as I could until everything went black.

"Fuck. Y/n wake up," Vinnie shouted, and I sat up, tears streaming down my face.

He immediately hugged me and stroked my hair with his hand, "It's okay. I'm here."

"You- you took my- my-" I burst into tears, and he held me tighter.

"What did I take, princess? You fell asleep after breakfast." He says softly.

It was all just a dream. A nightmare. I never wanted to escape, and Vinnie never locked me up. It took me a little while to finally breathe normally again, "I dreamt that I wanted to escape because I wasn't ready to become a mother. You caught me, held me captive in the basement and then some man...he took my clit-" I didn't get any further as I burst into tears again.

Vinnie kissed my forehead and smiled lightly at me, "It's okay if you don't want kids yet, but no matter what happens, I would never hurt you."

Vinnie normally wouldn't have shown anyone that he had a side like that, except me. All I wanted was him, and I never wanted to lose him.

I think I was finally ready to live with Vinnie forever.

[afan1]

The Wilds: Season 1 Rewatch

Hey, everyone! With Season 2 of The Wilds premiering on May 6, 2022, I thought I'd go back and rewatch season 1 again after the long hiatus.

I'm going to be posting my thoughts on the episodes as I watch them, so hopefully y'all will join me in getting excited about the upcoming season! I can't wait, so let's dive right in!

SPOILER WARNINGS — While it is an episode recap, there may be spoilers for the entirety of season 1 of The Wilds. Continue reading at your own risk if you haven't seen all of it yet.

The Wilds | 1x01: Day One

Favorite Quote

Yeah, well, I'm not a lesbian. Sorry to disappoint. I just like storage. — Dot Campbell

Personal Highlights of the Episode

Dot smoking as the plane was going down... total fucking mood. I could only hope to be as badass as Dot if I was ever in a plane crash scenario.

The Jeff / Leah relationship makes me cringe, but I chuckle every time I see the "happy belated birthday" high five in the hotel room. It is so awkward, and then Leah even adds a little hand tap... I can't.

Things I Didn't Catch the First Time

Dot has her lighter and pack of cigarettes just chilling in the cupholder on the plane.

When Shelby walks past Fatin on the plane after suggesting icebreaker games, Fatin is smoothing out her eyebrow with her middle finger. Probably random and unintentional, but if not — it's hilarious.

It's dark outside when Leah is driving Jeff to his hotel. Like, did she have to wait around for him after school? Was the drive that long? Honestly, idk how the school wouldn't get into some shit asking a student to drive a grown-ass man to his hotel. You're telling me there wasn't ONE adult staff member available?

The green dial button is still on the phone screen during Martha and Fatin's calls... oops!

Observations / Theories / Questions

The Timeline Doesn't Make Sense — It's shown that Leah gets (presumably) her last text from Jeff on Wednesday, July 10.

We can assume that they were in a non-sexual relationship at least a few weeks before September 5 (Leah's birthday) based off her reply to his drunk text. Then, following her birthday, a sexual relationship until at least June 2.

Jeff and Leah's relationship could have lasted anywhere from the beginning of August to the end of June/beginning of July the following year.

Does the East Bay Academy of Art go to school year round? When does the Island Retreat begin, because I thought it was a whole summer thing aka 3 months? Someone EXPLAIN this to me pleaaaaase. I'm honestly scared that the writers won't explain any of this and it will be the biggest plot hole for the show.

If you want to get even more confused... We know Martha's evidence box that Young goes through in the bunker has a January 10 date on them. Leah is still worked up over Jeff in her interviews. A whole 5-6 months following their last text in July and after a whole mf'ing traumatic experience living on a deserted island. Girl. I love you, but please, move on (my shipper heart will be content with Fatin).

Theory — Why not have Rachel, the super athletic and skilled diver (aka: swimmer) be the subject placed in the water with Jeannette? They are the only two in the ocean following the plane crash (extremely dangerous btw since Leah was sedated). I think that Leah (Gretchen's favorite) was Jeannette's primary "target," so that she could shift Leah's train of thought about the island, observe her more closely for Gretchen, etc. So how do you get a girl that you don't know to bond with you more quickly? Only place them in a similar situation that none of the other girls are in.

Theory — Gretchen had scouted Leah for her experiment prior to the Jeff relationship (or shortly after). Remember: Leah had thought her life was boring and unremarkable. Gretchen probably could have easily convinced Leah herself or her parents to branch out and goes on a summer retreat. But, enter Jeff: exciting, remarkable, loving... everything Leah wanted. Now Gretchen realizes that Leah's new infatuation would prevent her from agreeing to leave for a whole summer, Gretchen mailed Leah's birth certificate to Jeff to induce the breakup and ensure that her favorite subject would be on the island.

None of the girls question why they aren't seriously injured after a plane crashing into the ocean. The only injuries (excluding Jeannette) are Martha's ankle, blood on Toni's ear, and Shelby's flipper being cracked. To make matters worse — Gretchen's people would have had to manipulate these injuries (super creepy and unethical). Like did these assholes really hurt Martha's ankle so bad that it blew up like a balloon? And completely invading Shelby's privacy by getting into her MOUTH and breaking the flipper. omg.

Probably completely random and irrelevant, BUT the Dawn of Eve logo has nine letters... potentially corresponding with the nine girls sent to the island. Furthermore, there's two periods in the logo between the words... potentially corresponding with the two confederates that Gretchen assigns to the experiment.

Shelby Curse Count: 1

~~~

ANNNNND that's a wrap on episode 1. It's long, I know, but I hope everyone (anyone?) that read it enjoyed it or you know, don't think I'm a complete idiot. There's a lot more that I could have covered, but shit's long enough. Like Rachel and Nora's dynamic together (and individually) in episode one could have led to a 4-page essay. The Shoni interactions early on knowing how that ends up at the end of the season, FATIN in general with her remarks because they are top tier. You get my point.

Tell me what your favorite quotes, moments, theories and observations are for episode one! Maybe we think alike or maybe you have some theories that I hadn't thought of yet. Let's discuss!

I'm going to try to get the recap on episode two out asap, so stay tuned!

[stansethandpaul]

Jealousy Jealousy (rewrite)

Angst -> Fluff: Embry Call x GN!reader

Summary: Embry gives y/n a slap in the face about reality after they constantly sulk about Bella.

A/N: I'm much more content with this one and I actually might end up deleting the other one, sorry about that. I actually took a lot more time editing this and didn't write this when I was burnt out compared to the other one! I'm just overall way happier with the other one because I knew that the other one wasn't my true capability.

warnings: angst (that's all I could really think of tell me if you see anything else!)

Masterlist

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Constant notifications vibrated Jacob's phone as we sat on his couch together watching the movie on the screen. I shot him a look of annoyance, signaling him to check his phone which he did swiftly. His eyes shot open in surprise before he shot up from the couch and throwing on a shirt and shoes, hopping out the door as he attempted to put the last shoe on.

"Sorry y/n! Bella just told me she was free, you know what it's been like for her!" He hastily shouted out before sprinting down the gravel driveway.

"Bye!" I shouted back, trying to hide my disappointment.

I grimaced at the situation. On one hand, I knew how the sudden disappearance of the Cullens devastated her, especially Edward's sudden abandonment but this happened way too many times. But on the other, Jacob was like her puppy dog now, it was like I wasn't even his friend anymore, it was like our friendship meant nothing.

Knowing that Jacob wouldn't be back anytime soon, I got my stuff and locked the door behind me before driving over to Emily's place to surround myself in the livelier company.

"Sup y/n! Missed me didn't ya!" Jared boomed as I opened the door to which I replied with a "you wish". I chuckled at his dramatic pain as he pretended to hold his heart, eyes shut and face contorting.

"Know where Embry is?" Questioning the dramatic boy as I peered around the room to see if I could find any trace of the lanky boy, no luck.

"Finding your loverboy huh? With the deepest of regrets, I must inform you that he was put on patrol today." He said, mocking my curiosity over Embry's whereabouts. I stuck my tongue out at him to tease him before flipping him off and leaving to the porch to await Embry.

"Knock it off Paul, it's not what you think"

"yeah sure, and if it wasn't what I HEARD THROUGH THE MINDLINK then I don't know what else it could have been"

Their voices permeated through the thick fog as their silhouettes came into view, Paul's muscly tall physique was seen locking an arm around Embry's tall lanky but lean body.

"Aw buzz off Paul," Embry said as he struggled to get Paul's arm off of his neck. He laughed at his struggle before letting go as he noticed me, shooting Embry a smirk to which a slight blush came onto his face, only noticeable as they got closer. Odd.

"Sup Paul," I smirked at him before turning my attention over to Embry.

"And hello to you too wolf boy," teasing him to which he shot a glare at me before attempting to stifle his laughs.

Paul said a prompt bye before jogging into the house to fill up his appetite whilst Embry sat down next to me, his body warmth radiating. The cold air nipped at my skin, pushing me to get closer to the much warmer boy as I swung my legs into his lap and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Jacob left again?"

A sigh left my mouth at his obvious question.

Closing my eyes promptly, I answered with a short nod. A response that showed my true feelings after all these times of being blown off by Jacob.

We sat in silence, my eyes closed as I felt his shoulders move up and down in a rhythmic motion, lulling me to sleep almost. The deafening quiet seemed to almost suffocate us before I decided to talk.

"I don't know what to do anymore Embry, I'm always there for him when he needs me but, he runs to her at the drop of a hat or more like a single text message," I grumbled, reminiscing about the times Jacob's left me in the dust for Bella, excuses sprouting up.

"Why does everyone in this town seem to be so infatuated with her," expecting no response I kept going.

"Is it because she's Charlie's daughter? Hell if I was his child Jacob would be all over me too right? I'd be the hot topic of town too, people staring at me wherever I go, being suddenly accepted by the Cullen family and Jacob. I'd really have the best of both worlds wouldn't I?" Scowling at my own questions, I turned to Embry for answers.

"Am I not right?"

Silence.

"Helloooooooo, Earth to Embry?" I said, poking his cheeks with my finger. His brows seemed to be furrowed together, eyes lost in thought, his attention elsewhere.

There seemed to be no response from him to which I huffed and turned back to stare at the fog rolling in.

Closing my eyes to embrace the serenity once more, his lulling voice startled me.

“I don’t think it’s true.”

I turned my head towards him, curiosity piqued by his response.

“Let’s be real Embry, I’d have the best time of my life if I was Bella fucking Swan. Every guy would love me, all the attention would be on me and I wouldn’t be a second option again. Hell, I’d even be able to actually confess to my crush without fearing rejection.” Bitterness laced the last sentence as I satirically spoke my mind. Looking at Embry’s hands and wishing they were embracing mine, the sudden gesture of his fist clenching as his knuckles turned white shocked me, he was mad.

“God y/n, why the hell do you always need to compare yourself to Bella? She hasn’t even done anything to you. It’s always Bella this Bella that if I was her blah blah blah. Get over yourself, you’re not her and you won’t ever be. Learn how to appreciate yourself and live YOUR life and stop moping around. So what Jacob runs to Bella each time, you have Jared, Emily, Paul, and everyone else.”

A long silence suspended in the air.

“You have me and you come running, you never see the other people around you cause you’re too busy complaining. You can’t even see how much I love you cause you’re so stuck up about being Bella and being Jacob’s priority aren’t you?” Finishing his sentence, he proceeded to get up before walking away. Stopping before reaching the woods, his back faced to me, he spoke simply.

“Find me when you can learn to be y/n and not Bella.”

His form morphed before running into the woods on all fours, leaving me stunned. After a brief moment, tears flooded my eyes. I never got to tell him that I do like him, I never got to tell him that I just want his attention, I just wanted him.

Thoughts spiraled in my head, I was jealous of Bella for sure but I was jealous because of the attention she was given. I just wanted Embry to treat me like she was treated, I wanted to be special to him.

I ran home, I ran because I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't be able to look at him properly.

Weeks passed as we ceased to talk, and I ceased to exist in the small town of Forks. Or so I thought.

I groaned as heavy knocks assaulted my front door, I picked up the phone looking at the time. Who the hell shows up at someone's house at 4am?

Throwing on a sweater and sweats, I dragged myself to the front door, the cold hardwood floor seemingly repelling me from ever making any progress. I swung the door open, grumbling as my eyes were half open wondering who it was.

Jacob Black.

Mentally sighing, I invited him inside from the pouring rain, he seemed devastated.

He sat down after he changed as I made him some hot chocolate to comfort him.

"She chose him y/n, he came back and she chose him over me. She drove to Italy for that stupid bloodsucker." His cracking voice was more than enough for me to grasp his frustration and devastation.

"I dropped everything for her, I did everything for her y/n. And she still chose the guy that skipped town huh?" Laughing bitterly at the situation, I stared at his cup before handing it to him.

"Maybe if I was better than Edward I would've won this stupid fucking battle," his words escaping his clenched teeth. He was like me, we were jealous of someone, someone that seemed to win everything, someone that we were not. The words spoken to me by Embry were words I carried with me even as I was moping over the whole situation.

"Stop comparing yourself to him, Jacob. You're not Edward and you won't ever be him. You're so insistent on being better than Edward or being Edward that you can't even see what's in front of you. I was always here for you Jake, I was always here but you treated me like I was a second option. You left me in a heartbeat for her but you never had time to spend with me, not even five minutes, when you were with her," I too chuckled bitterly at the ironic situation, me and Jacob were similar in many ways.

"Learn to live your life, don't live it for her or because of her, learn how to live it like you want." Those words seemed to resonate deep within both of us. After finally speaking those words, I realized that I was ready to live my life as y/n, a citizen of the small city of Forks, and not vying to be Bella, the new girl to forks.

I stood up, putting on shoes hastily before grabbing the handle. I could sense Jacob's attempt to stop me and apologize for his treatment but I knew better.

"It's ok, I know you're gonna apologize. I'm not going to accept, I want the Jake that will care and treat everyone with the same importance that you had for Bella. Come to me when you're ready, but until then I hope you grow and learn how to live your life."

I paused again, one foot out of the door.

"I have someone important to apologize to, someone that didn't leave me in the blink of an eye."

I hurriedly shut the door behind me before running to the woods, my lungs burning and legs aching as I forced myself to my limit. I ran and ran, visions of the houses slowly turned to trees, the crunching leaves under my feet reminded me of the days we would all run through the woods.

My breathing became labored as I was reaching my breaking point but it was close, our place was close. Then, in my distant vision, I could see it. That one pine tree, seemingly normal to many, but to me, it held our memories. The initials only reassured my assumption as I knew that he would be here waiting. As I got closer to the tree, my legs gave out under me, sending me tumbling to the ground whilst tree branches scratched my arms and ripped a hole in my pants.

"EMBRY! EMBRY I'M HERE PLEASE!" I shouted into the dark forest, eyes tearing up once more as I pleaded.

"I LOVE YOU EMBRY CALL AND I'M SORRY I WAS TOO BLIND TO REALIZE IT!" I shouted once more before crumpling closer to the ground, my tears now fully flowing and hitting the dead leaves below.

Maybe I took too long, maybe he moved on, maybe I was too jealous of someone to even realize his love.

As sobs continued throughout my body, the hope of him ever coming was diminishing.

I was too late.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong but warm arms wrap around my waist and pulling me up.

"Shhh, it's ok I'm here now."

That voice, I looked up to see Embry's face which held a dorky grin. I threw my arms around him as sobs still left my body, the emotional rollercoaster was far too much for me to handle.

"I-i'm s-s-so sorry Embry, I was too focused on trying to be Bella that I-"

"I know, I know, I heard it all," shushing me as he rubbed circles on my back consoling me. After what felt like hours in his embrace, I finally calmed down and only tear stains remained.

I finally lifted my head to meet his eyes properly this time, he stared back with tender eyes.

"You finally learned how to live for you huh?" He asked, not expecting an answer to which I was oblivious.

Before I could respond, he pressed his lips to mine. I didn't try and fight it and melted into it instead.

I was blind to be jealous of Bella when I already had something that she fought to keep.

Smiling mentally, I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

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