#I'm so fckin confused

[maramarambles]

Now that I've got my first 1.5k likes on Twitter I've been thoughtful

Like, it's an average artist's path to draw for years peacefully, blow up when you expect it the least and then you kinda can't repeat this success anymore

Did I want that exact piece to be my peak? Probably not.

And I'm already feeling the need to have a backup plan or something, dunno. Like, okay, my drawing is kiiinda popular, but it doesn't give anything basically. I drew a popular ship. okay. this ship will eventually lose popularity in any case. And the fandom in general will become less and less interesting for people.

I need something more stable than just fanart, my first thought was. Doesn't mean I'm stopping doing fanart, too many ideas to draw which I don't wanna miss.

Geez I feel so old, like it was supposed to be a hobby marama, not a thing that leads you to overthinking how you're gonna pay your taxes or whatever.

[weirdsht]

Stereotypical . Pretermit - LoTCF & Venion Stan! Reader

a/n: please read the tags in detail and proceed carefully. If you are going through something please contact your local emergency hotline or talk to someone about it. I do not condone any of the toxic/harmful behaviours shown in this fic, but rather I'd like for this to serve as a message of how suicide affects everyone involved. Also holy fckin hairball this is 18 pages with 5400+ words

tags: PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND BE WARNED! semi-detailed aftermath of suicide attempt, gore?, amnesia, inspired by freud's concept of repression still hate the guy tho, hints of depression, insomnia, hints of eating disorders if you squint, hurt/comfort, angst only lasts for a bit tho dw, isekai, yandere everyone if you squint really hard, everyone is trying to deny that they like reader (platonically), Taylor is the best brother

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

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@areaderspov said:

Hello hello!

I just read your fanfic of Venion!Reader aND I LOVE IT SO MUCH😭 I ACTUALLY TEARED UP ANYWAYS—

Did you ever thought of making and alternative version? —or angst sorta? Like, imagine if reader just gives up on life BUT WITH A PLOT TWIST.

THey could either go back to their world or suddenly be brought to Cale's world again BUT they just like, had a feeling of what happened, but nothing cleared, they mostly confused on what's going on but are trying to be… Chill, in a way. Like everything was only a nightmare and they had no recollection of it.

Maybe they could even sorta recognize Taylor? Like the feeling of their hyung but not really knowing why the connection.

Imagine that Raon is the first to recognize them, and they are in a way very happy since they looked so content, so different.

They don't have the "shackles" anymore so, I'm not sure how everyone else might play it.

Hope you like this idea though!<3

“Hey, wake up. Class ended already.”

You feel someone shake you awake as you groggily open your eyes. Looking around the lecture hall, you see that there really is no one else in the room aside from you and your friend.

“Where should we eat? I think I'm craving something sweet…”

Slinging your bag over your shoulders, you ask your friend for food recommendations. Your friend hummed as you guys walked out of the lecture hall onto the busy hallways of your university.

“There are no classes after this, so we can check out that new cafe outside the campus. Are you craving something specifically?”

You hummed as the two of you exited the building successfully. The two of you walk towards the gate to get away from the busy campus and be on your merry way towards the cafe.

“I weirdly want to eat apple pies…”

“Apple pies? You've never even had one before. Why are you craving something you've never eaten?”

Your friend stopped walking for a second to look at you weirdly before leading you to where the cafe is.

“I mean, you can crave something you've never had. But hmm, it is a bit weird because I feel like I've eaten it plenty before.”

After a few minutes of more banter and walking, you finally reached the newly opened cafe. The interior was minimalist, taking into account aesthetic pictures for social media. Their colour scheme was beige and black, and there were some plants and paintings on the wall.

The cafe seating looks like an open area. No booths can be found, but the seats are still comfortable-looking couches. 

Your friend asks you what else you want aside from pie as you eye which seat would be the best for the two of you. You tell your friend your order before making a beeline for the couch seat in the corner of the cafe beside the windows.

As you sit on the couch, you can feel your body physically relaxing. Weeks of sleepless nights and early mornings are absorbed by the comfortable plush of the seat. Thankfully, those days are about to end as today marks the start of your summer break.

Few more minutes passed by before your friend finally arrived with both of your orders. After finally settling, the two of you continued your light talk while eating your well-deserved sweet treats.

* * *

Summer break was absolutely the best. No deadlines to think about, no group mates to accommodate, no professors to chase for requirements. It's just you, your bed, and your phone.

Six weeks into the vacation and you're still bedrotting. You even go as far as to refuse whatever plans your friends present to you. Well, you didn't mean to spend the entire vacation just lounging around the house; actually, you initially just planned to spend a week and a half catching up on sleep before going out with friends. However, for some reason, your body felt incredibly heavy, and your mind was exhausted. Leading to you spending a month and a half at home to sleep.

Life of a slacker is nice. You actually enjoyed doing nothing. It’s just that there seems to be one problem… you feel more tired after sleeping.

It wasn’t always like this. In fact, you’re usually a good sleeper. Everything just started after that one time you fell asleep during class before the start of summer break. After that time, it was like no amount of sleep could quench the tiredness you felt.

Was it because of that weirdly realistic dream you had that day?

But you could barely even remember it, so it couldn’t be.

‘Well, it was just a dream, so it feels silly to give it this much meaning.’

You thought to yourself as you finally got up to prepare your first meal of the day. It’s already 5 pm, and you are just now starting your day. Well, you live alone anyway, so no one’s going to scold you. Plus, you’re still eating, so you’re still living a healthy life.

With that justification in mind, you finished eating the small portion of food you prepared for yourself before going back to bed.

Days passed until there was only one week left until the start of the new semester. Not once did you go out, even your enrollment was done online, and you figured you could just update your ID on the first day of classes.

Even after all that rest, you still felt tired. Your mental state was also a mess for no reason. Sometimes you would even start crying out of the blue.

Like right now, for example.

You were merely scrolling on your phone when suddenly tears started dripping from your eyes. Unsure of the cause yet still continuing to cry, your heart clenches at the random picture of a dragon plushie presented on your phone.

You would tear up just like this at random times of the day.

‘I have to get myself together. Classes are starting soon, and this year is very critical.’

With that conviction, you fell asleep with a heavy mind and an even heavier heart.

* * *

“CALL A HEALER HURRY”

“EVERYONE ON STANDBY, CANCEL ALL APPOINTMENTS AND DON’T LET VISITORS INSIDE”

Frantic shouts and hurried footsteps filled Raon’s ears as soon as he teleported in the Stan territory. The young dragon just wanted to checked on Venion Stan but such a chaotic scene welcomed him instead.

The curious — and worried — toddler followed the voice while remaining invisible. He could recognise the man shouting to be Taylor Stan. Just what happened to make such a usually composed man sound so frantic?

Raon’s question was answered as he peeked inside Venion’s room, the source of the chaos. From outside, he could see how healers and Cage are desperately trying to heal the young noble. Raon could also see Venion’s bloody wrist.

Copious amounts of blood dripped from the blonde’s wrist onto the bedsheets. There was too much that his bed was stained red; something the maids and butlers are trying to clean, but to no avail.

Taylor Stan can be seen besides the unconscious man. Desperately trying to put pressure on Venion’s wounds to stop bleeding. His own shaking hands gripping onto his brother’s wrist while he tries to stop the tears from escaping his blurry eyes.

Unable to take the sight in anymore, Raon teleports back to where Cale is. His paws shaking as he cries on the redhead’s chest while explaining what he saw.

It wasn’t until the next day he heard a word from the Stan Marquisate.

“I… I’m not sure how to explain what happened, Young Master Cale.” 

Taylor Stan said on the other side of the communication device. Cale’s gaze hardened at the sight of the Marquiss; he looks so gaunt, as if he hasn’t slept in a week. Clearly, something has happened to Venion Stan.

“Take your time.”

Cale said while holding onto Raon’s invisible yet shaking paw from his lap.

“Yesterday morning… when I visited my dongsaeng’s room to start our day, there was a strong stench of blood. So I opened the door and…”

Taylor Stan sighed deeply, his voice shaking but he pushed through it as he has to break the news.

“Blood was everywhere, Venion’s wrist was bleeding, he wounded himself too deeply. At first, I didn’t know how he even managed—no, I didn’t have the time to think about anything else, I frantically called Cage and the other healers to try and save him.”

Even Cale had to take a sharp breath. No wonder Raon looked so traumatised. The scene yesterday was too unsightly for anyone to witness, let alone for a child to see it first-hand.

“We managed to stabilise his condition, we also found out that he did it by breaking the drinking glass on his bedside… but that’s not where it ends.”

Cale and Raon stiffen at the news, only knowing about the news of Venion’s critical condition.

“Did he try again…?”

“No, young master, he hasn’t even woken up yet. We made him wore a magic bracelet that would keep track of his consciousness.”

Then what was the problem? Isn’t everything fine now unless Venion Stan’s health somehow becomes critical again?

Seeing the confused look on Cale’s face, Taylor further explained the situation.

“We are confused too, because later in the afternoon, my dongsaeng disappeared. But the bracelet showed no signs of being removed, nor did it alert us that he woke up.”

Distress became more evident in Taylor’s face as he explained. The news also further shocked the human and dragon combo. Just how and why did Venion disappear?

“Human, we have to look for him! He's unconscious and alone!”

“Wait.”

Cale spoke, making the two look at him.

“First, is there any possibility that he found a way to bypass the bracelet?”

Taylor thought about it for a second before speaking.

“It’s pretty strong as Cage made it and is monitoring it personally, so…”

“Ah…”

“Yes…”

Silence befalls all of them. This seems to be a very tricky case, no one knows where to even start.

“My men are discreetly looking for him, but there’s no progress yet.”

“...I’ll also keep an eye out.”

“Thank you so much, Young Master Cale.”

As soon as the call disconnected, Cale couldn’t help but slouch and sigh deeply.

“Haaaa”

Just what could’ve happened to Venion Stan?

Is this related to the plot he was talking about? Is the universe, or maybe even the gods, making Vention pay for deviating from the novel?

Cale doesn’t pity him.

Cale can’t pity him. His a grown man who doesn’t need Cale’s concerns.

No matter how child-like he seems to Cale—even if the redhead won’t admit it—Cale won't pity Venion Stan.

‘But if I don’t do anything and something happens to Venion, Raon might destroy a country…’

Just the mere thought of the toddler going on a rampage was enough to send a chill down Cale’s spine. He really needs to find Venion before that happens.

As if sensing Cale Henituse’s distress, Ron knocks on his door, stating that he bought lemon tea.

“Ron, scatter your people. Tell them to look for Venion Stan discreetly.”

The attendant looked like he had a lot of questions, but dared not voice them after seeing the distressed look on his young master's face.

“I'll inform them, young master.”

Cale has his people stationed all over this world and the next, surely they'll be able to find Venion on time.

…Right?

* * *

Surprisingly, that usual heaviness in your body was gone when you woke up this time. You could even say that you felt oddly refreshed. It's a feeling you haven't experienced during the summer break. 

You actually felt so light and refreshed that you didn't notice how you weren't in your apartment at first. But soon enough, you noticed that the bed you are in seems softer than usual. The mattress doesn't feel like something a broke uni student can afford.

“Wha- where..?”

The realisation of not being in the comfort of your home broke your dream-like trance. You looked around for clues to determine where you might be.

‘Did I get kidnapped? I’m not worth the ransom money though… Plus, if I was kidnapped, then the kidnapper is certainly richer than me.’

So why would you get kidnapped? But at the same time, there's no other explanation you could think of to justify the sudden change in setting.

‘I haven't drunk alcohol in 2 months, so I was certainly NOT drunk last night.’

After looking around for a while, you found a fancy vanity table against the wall. You got up from the cosy bed to try and inspect it. The colour was gold and certainly looked expensive.

For a moment, the possibility of being kidnapped by a rich mafia boss who's obsessed with you crossed your mind. Because all the items in the room look too high-class.

‘No, I'm too antisocial to even try and catch something like…’

“What the actual fuck???”

You couldn't help but trail off your thoughts and curse out loud as you look at your reflection in the mirror. At first, you just wanted to inspect the drawers of the vanity, hoping to find some clue as to where you were. But instead, you saw how you totally don't look like yourself.

Smooshing and pinching your facial features, you could see the mirror in front of you do the same, confirming that you are indeed looking at yourself.

“Isn't this Venion Stan from the novel I read a few months ago?”

You asked yourself as you observed the mirror reflecting you, pinching and pulling your own cheeks. Your brand-new pale white face with blonde hair staring back at you 

As you further observe your new body in the mirror you couldn't help but notice some differences from the Venion Stan you knew. First was that he was skinnier than how he was drawn in the manhwa. He already had a lanky build from what you read, but he's even skinnier than that. 

The second thing you noticed was how long his hair was. In the manhwa, you recall Venion having above-the-shoulder blonde hair. However, the reflection staring back at you has hair that reaches past the armpits.

‘His pretty… too bad his trash.’

Having had enough of pulling your reddened cheeks, you decided to explore your new vicinity, surprisingly adapting well to the fact that you transmigrated.

The house was small but certainly luxurious. It was just enough for one noble to reside in. You got the idea that it must be some kind of vacation house, the more you see the interior.

While walking towards the front door, you suddenly had a realisation. Venion might look different because it's been a while since the part of him being captured by Taylor Stan.

Then is this house not a vacation house, but something used to house-arrest Venion instead?

“Even if this is prison for that guy, this is practically a mansion for someone like me. I have no reason to complain.”

You don't have to get involved in the plot, and you get to have this fancy house to yourself? It can't get any better than this. Sure, it might be small for noble standards, but for an ordinary, modern person like you? This place was better than anything on the housing market.

Finally, you reached the front door. As you push the doors open, lush, green grass greeted you. Nature said hello with a gush of wind that refreshed you from all the thinking you’ve been doing.

As you step out, it looks like this house was built in the middle of the forest. The perfect place for people who like peace and quiet.

It’s perfect.

This is actually really perfect.

You’re sure Cale and his group can handle bringing world peace to this world. It also looks like Venion’s part in the story is done. There’s absolutely nothing left for you to do other than sit back and enjoy this simple life given to you.

‘If they come to visit, I’ll just pretend to be insane, that should be easy enough.’

Is what you thought to yourself.

“Did you know how worried I was?! Why didn’t you even try to go home?!”

…Wasn’t Venion Stan on house arrest? So why is Taylor Stan on your front door frantically looking for you like you’re a naughty child that ran away from home? You thought they just didn’t care about you anymore, that’s why they didn’t visit for months. But it turns out that you were actually missing? 

Just what is going on?

To know what happened, we must first travel back to the time when you first woke up in that house.

Cage was actually in the Super Rock Villa at the time of the incident. She had a momentary break and decided to visit and see how Cale was doing as well as give updates about the search in person. The excommunicated priestess had seen how worried the young master was about you and thought it would be better to update him in person.

Well, it was actually Raon who was worried, but Cage digressed.

The moment the two are speaking to each other, the bracelet Cage was wearing suddenly emitted a faint, yellow light, surprising both of them.

“Is that..?”

Cale asked, to which Cage softly nodded.

“Yes, I have to go back and inform everyone of what happened.”

“Please do that, I’ll also inform Ron and the others.”

With that, their conversation was cut short as both went their separate ways to alert their respective people.

“Human! I think I know where he is. I need to go to him and check if he's there!”

Raon dashed over to Cale as soon as the redhead entered the room. The toddler is restless, already preparing a magic circle to go to you at any given moment now. 

“Slow down and explain.”

Cale got hold of his child, who was flying in circles, as he was starting to get dizzy from watching. Raon complied and stayed put before starting to explain.

“The kind grandma who wears her hair in a bun! I remember Venion talking to her about building a rest house before. He might be there, and that grandma is the only one who knows the location!”

That grandma in question is actually spending a sound retirement with her family. Venion’s older brother, Taylor Stan, gave her money and house last year as Venion’s birthday gift since the younger man wouldn’t accept any other gift Taylor had.

Wasting no time, Cale informed Ron of what happened before they set off to that grandma’s house in order to know if Venion really had a secret rest house.

“Oh dear,  is that so..? He has a house in a forest near Ten Finger Mountains that I still sometimes go to to maintain. I haven’t gone there this month to clean. Usually, I would not give the address even to Master Taylor, but I’ll give it to you since Venion says he trusts you and this is an emergency.”

Cale Henituse’s face soured for a moment. First of all, when did Venion say that? And second, he thought this grandma was retired? Why is she still working for Venion when she should be spending it with her grandchildren?

“Don’t look at this old woman like that.”

The grandmother laughed as she handed him a piece of paper containing the coordinates of the house.

“The young master told me countless times not to go there anymore. But like you, I’ve also grown fond of that child, he’s also like one of my grandchildren. Plus, the nature there is good for this old body of mine.”

Cale’s face soured even more at her words. He is NOT fond of Venion Stan in any way, shape, or form.

‘I have no reason to be emotionally attached to such a guy. I’m just doing this to prevent Raon from throwing a tantrum.’

Cale and his group thanked the old lady before going back to the underground villa to plan their next move.

* * * 

“He’s there… human, his actually there!”

Raon shouted in Cale’s mind as they saw your silhouette from a distance. It was just the two with Ron visiting the rest house, where you are currently residing. The three of them teleported a few feet away from the house in order to prepare for whatever might be waiting for them.

Well, they just didn’t expect to see you have such a serene look on your face.

Your face looks peaceful, free of worries even. A look Raon has never seen on your face. It’s also something Cale had never read back when he was reading TBoaH.

“Something’s wrong, human! But I think it’s a good kind of wrong?”

Raon questioned, to which Cale nodded along. Something is definitely amiss. The Venion Stan Cale knows wouldn’t be able to get over the trauma you’ve been through like some amnesiac…

…

Wait…

Could it be..?

“Ron.”

“Yes, young master?”

“Approach Venion and pretend that you’re a lost old man wandering the woods.”

“Of course, young master.”

Raon and Cale watched from a listening distance as Ron approached you, whose tending to the flowers in the mini garden in front of the house. Your hair was tied in a half-bun, exposing your forehead. There’s also dirt on the cuffs of your sleeves as proof that you were taking care of the flowers before the assassin interrupted.

“Excuse me, young sir, could you perhaps tell me where we are? I was travelling with my young master, and we got lost with no means to go back to our inn.”

Cale could see a look of recognition pass your eyes as Ron smiled benignly at you.

‘Was I wrong..?’

The redhead had a moment of doubt, perhaps you actually found a way to get over your trauma? But if you did, then why would you run away? Assuming that you ran away at least. 

“Uh… uhm… actually I…”

You stuttered, internally panicking for a variety of reasons.

Why is Cale’s servant, who's actually an assassin in disguise?

Is Cale also here?

Are they actually lost?

Are they here to get more revenge?

How are you going to tell them that you actually don’t know anything, let alone where you are?

“Are you perhaps hesitant to talk to me because I’m a stranger? I’m sorry for that. My name is Ron Molan, and I serve the Henituse household. To be specific, I am currently serving Young Master Cale Henituse.”

Ron made an excuse for you to which you graciously accepted.

“Ah yes, that’s part of it… But it’s also because I don’t know where we are… You see, I don’t really remember anything? I just woke up here one day with no recollection whatsoever. I’m sorry that I can’t be of help in getting out of here, but my house has some spare bedrooms that I can lend to your party as you try and figure out how to get out of here.”

You decided to tell Ron the truth as you figured they are not here to get more revenge, at least.

‘This is their scamming approach, so I should be fine. I don’t have any powers or knowledge that would help Cale save the world anyway.’

With that conviction, you truthfully explained the situation to the assassin as you don’t have much of a choice anyway.

“Is that so, then we’ll take you up on your kind offer. I shall go fetch my young master”

Just as Ron was about to turn around, Raon spoke in his head.

“Lemonade Gramps! The weak human said it’s okay to tell Venion that the great and mighty me is here!”

“Oh, and please do keep this a secret, but we have a great and mighty dragon with us.”

Ron smiled benignly once more before turning around to where Cale and Raon were. Leaving you confused by the bombshell information you just received.

‘...Did I assess the situation wrong? They don’t disclose that information just to anyone, right?’

* * *

“I’ll entrust my brother to you then, young master. Please take care, and I’ll try to go there as soon as I can.”

Taylor’s words went in Raon’s one ear and out the other. It has been a few hours since they entered your house, and Raon has been in a dazed ever since. The toddler just can’t believe his seeing you act so lively… smile so freely.  

Raon had only seen such things in his dreams.

It’s a shame that you can’t remember anything, but on the other hand, he was also glad you had no recollection of what happened. Raon doesn’t think he would get the chance to see you so content if you still have your memories intact.

The black dragon was so out of it the whole day. Sure, he still performed his tasks well, but everyone could tell how he was constantly in a daze. Looking at everything as if it were his first time seeing the world once more. 

He also seemed to cling more to you, cuddling you up every chance he gets, instead of sticking close to Cale as he normally would. The toddler’s actions confused you, made you wonder what happened in the past that made Raon act so close with the person who was his supposed torturer.

Of course, you weren’t aware, but this is just Raon giving you all the affection he had been holding out on before. The you before Raon could see looked so fragile that he was even scared of touching you the wrong way. Fearing that one wrong touch would make you disappear forever.

And after seeing your pale skin and bloody arm as healers worked hard to revive you a few months ago?

Yeah, Raon is definitely not letting go of you anytime soon.

Honestly, it’s not just Raon acting like this. You can’t tell as they hide it better, but Cale and Ron also seem to be on guard. Not the type of guard that is on edge, but rather protective.

It’s especially apparent when you try cooking dinner. The moment you tried to pull out a knife, Ron was by your side, insisting that it’s a servant's job to do such things. That was the worst case, though, for most of the time, the two opted to observe you, making sure that you would not revert to your old mental state.

Finally, after a few more exchanged words, the call between Cale and Taylor ended, and Raon could lift the soundproof barrier he had placed to prevent you from hearing their conversation. They plan on slowly breaking the news to you tomorrow to give you time to prepare for Taylor’s arrival. They also plan to make Cage go first, acting as if she will be the one to inform Taylor of your existence after “miraculously finding a way to contact Cale”.

Raon trusts his weak human’s plan. Cale had never conjured up a plan that didn’t work. Sure, the toddler hates it when their plans end up making their human cough up blood or pass out, but never once had their plans failed badly before.

With that peace of mind, Raon was about to fall asleep when he suddenly heard a small whimper.

It seems to be coming from your room.

“Human, Venion is crying…”

At once, Cale and Raon went to your room. However, your bedroom door was already open once they arrived.

Ron, fast as ever, was already tending to you.

“It seems to be a nightmare, young master.”

The servant said as he wiped the tears from your eyes. Ron held no affection for you in particular. There’s no reason for him to have one. Although you did remind him of his son when they first ran away to the Henituse territory.

But that’s a different matter.

“Or perhaps memories.”

Cale spoke as he and Raon walked closer to your bed. As they did, they could hear your soft whimpers of “Don’t” and “I’m tired”. Raon couldn’t help but tear up a little as he looked at your state.

“Human, does this mean his going to remember? Maybe showing up was a mistake… what if we made him remember those bad memories?”

Raon cried as he lay down beside you, using his paws to wipe the continuous tears flowing down your cheeks. 

“I’m not sure. Let’s observe how he does tomorrow.”

Cale answered honestly, a bit at a loss on how he should proceed.

But it’s not like they can do much if you really do remember.

Thankfully, you continued to act happy and lively the next morning.

“Did you sleep well?”

Cale casually asked you as Ron served breakfast.

“I did, I’ve always slept well since being here! Maybe it’s the nature surrounding us, but I’ve never felt this relaxed before. Hmm, though I think I had a dream? I never seem to remember my dreams these days, though.”

‘He subconsciously remembers… we need to be careful not to make him fully remember just yet.’

Cale thought to himself as he chose his next words carefully.

“So we managed to contact someone last night.”

“Really?”

You beamed at him, genuinely happy that you’ll soon find out where you are.

“Mhm, it’s a priestess named Cage. She’s coming here tomorrow to get us.”

Cale and Raon gauged your reaction; you seem to be doing well, so the redhead continued speaking.

“You actually know her. She’s a friend of your brother.”

“Oh you mean Taylor Stan? The one you told me about?”

The redhead hummed affirmatively as he continued to eat his breakfast. From the kitchen, he could see Ron staying alert as well, ready for anything that could possibly happen in case you remembered something.

“There’s a chance she already told your brother about you, so there’s a chance he’ll follow here after her.”

If you’re being honest, the thought of meeting Taylor Stan scares you. He was lenient to Venion in the novel, but he may still harbour some ill will becuase of all the things the original Venion Stan did.

But for some reason, you don’t think that will happen.

On the contrary, the mere thought of him brings you a sense of comfort. Like a long-lost hyung you haven’t seen for a long time.

Weird… but maybe the original Venion Stan had some lingering brotherly feelings for Taylor?

‘What kind of loving brother incapacitates their hyung though?’

* * *

And that now brings us back to the current situation.

“Did you know how worried I was?! Why didn’t you even try to go home?!”

Taylor Stan couldn’t help but hug you tightly the moment you opened the door. You think a lone tear or two landed on your shoulder, but you’re unsure.

“I didn’t want to risk getting lost…”

You tried to reason helplessly as everyone else inside the house went out to the front porch to greet the marquis. All of you talked for a few minutes before going back to your respective homes. Of course, Taylor promised you that you could go back to this house anytime you want.

Life with Taylor is comfortable, cushy even. You’re supposed to be a convicted criminal, but he spoils you so much.

“Yeah, you’re actually serving your sentence right now. Your punishment is house arrest, and since you ran away from home, your sentence has been extended.”

Taylor smiled at you, and you could only look confused at his logic.

Well, it’s not like you can contest the marquis’ words. Plus, everything works out well for you.

* * *

“...Can I call you hyung?”

You suddenly spoke as the two of you were eating dinner. It’s been a month since you returned home, and you’ve been meaning to ask for a week now.

You’re not sure if you have the right to do so, but he really just gives off a comfortable feeling. Unsure why, but his been your safe person ever since you came to this world despite him not being your favourite character when you were reading the novel.

Meanwhile, Taylor is having a hard time keeping a straight face. He feels so giddy, so excited that you asked to call him hyung, as he had to tell you before. If he as being completely honest, he was glad you lost your memories. Sure, you may have a hard time sometimes, but it's miles better than your state months before.

It’s a fact that everyone around you could agree on that you had no clue about.

“Of course you could, you’re my dongsaeng after all.”

A wide smile etched your face at the approval.

“Okay, hyung!”

But then it fell as you remembered something.

“Honestly, I feel bad I can’t remember anything. I seem to have a good relationship with everyone, and I can’t remember a thing…”

“You don’t have to be. You remember what we told you about you suddenly disappearing because of some unknown force when you were sick, right? All of us are just glad you made it back safely.”

Taylor stopped eating for a moment in order to talk to you seriously. He does not want to see you spiralling into any kind of underserve guilt once more.

Your previous wrecked mental state really took a toll on everyone. 

But that’s now water under the bridge.

Right now, the only thing that matters is the fact that you are happy and smiling.

Taylor Stan couldn’t ask for anything more.

[inventedfangirling]

My friends i watched love for love's sake and I swear i don't have a fckin clue where even to start.

I know a lot has been said about the show already and i know a LOT more would be said about in the future, but i just can't help adding my own two cents to one of the most thought-provoking, moving and brilliantly executed pieces of art i have ever seen.

I'm not gonna go on about just how much I loved Tae Myungha's character and how he is one of the most interesting people I've seen on screen in a long time. I'm not gonna talk about how unbelievably squishable Yeowoon is and how his duality totally ruined me that I need him to get into my pocket and NEVER leave. And oh I need him to put Myungha in his pocket while at it. I'm also not gonna talk about precious 'of course i'm gay, i've always liked girls, you don't know how to be loved' Sangwon is to me, cos if i start I can promise you I will most certainly never stop.

So for the sake of the rest of this post, I'm moving on. (NOT REALLY THO)

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE all the interpretations that people are coming up with, LOVE LOVE LOVE the show for filling in the gaps but LOVE it more for still leaving room for pretty thought-flowers to bloom around.

You know those artworks or puzzles that have something obvious hidden in a maze of confusion and haze until somebody points out the pattern, you zoom out and realize wow it was this clear all along?? That's a LOT of what watching the show felt like to me. The pattern being how inexplicably inter-connected Myungha and Yeowoon are. Not because they are each other's blorbos, but because why they are eo's blorbos. Why they don't care for each other from a sense of sympathy, but from empathy, despite not knowing the depth of their connections explicitly.

Eventhough we do see glimpses of it from the start, it only gets more clear later how Myungha and Yeowoon really are mirror versions of eo. How the first time Myungha sees Yeowoon he's stopping him from killing himself, and then we later find out that Myungha ends up killing himself. How both of it was triggered by a series of disappointments in life, starting with a troubling family and ending with a grandmother who passes away. Of how both of them seem to really have no one else to call their own in the world. Of leading very lonely depressing lives, that seem to never have a glimpse of hope. How both of them seem closed off, but inside they really are so fragile it hurts to perceive the depth of their feelings. It all comes and hits you once you've taken the whole show in and have gotten a few 1000 seconds to think about it.

We start off with myungha's character wanting to make his blorbo's character happy, and he's in it cos he cares about him, he doesn't have to think about himself. A 'pathetic' character experiencing a lot of pain, what's not to love, Myungha thinks, not realizing that it's his own mirror self that he is feeling so much for. Myungha sees Yeowoon's problems as someone from outside and is therefore able to objectively look at it, and approach it proactively, taking so many steps to help him, my favourite (and arguably most important) of which is the effort he puts in to help form yeowoon a friend circle. Something that he couldn't do for himself cos he never even considered a possibility of that. Why would anybody want to be around him? He ruins everything right?

And then to go on despite believing that, to falling in love, to deciding to choose to save both his grandma and yeowoon, finally FINALLY taking control into his hands even if for a bit to say what he wants, to spending the last few days together, to breaking up cos he just thinks the worst of himself, cos he doesn't know better. And then to the eternal darkness, where moments before leaving, just like in his real life, he realizes he wants in, he wants to live, he wants to love, but more importantly this time, he wants to try being loved. Even if it's difficult, he wants to try.

I love how eventhough the show is heavily Myungha focused, we get meaningful dynamics with multiple characters. Round eyed gasp inducing moments dont just belong to the two mains but also to sangwon whose line to myungha post the stalker incident just ruined me and really set the tone for whatever the show was later revealed to be all about.

I love how complicated the narrative got while still telling a more or less coherent story, how in hindsight, a lot of it makes even more sense now. How as Myungha gets closer to yeowoon his self-hating tendencies manifest in the form of debuffs and errors, because of his own brain's inability to perceive himself as somebody deserving love. His childhood trauma and the numerous rejections life has given him, because of the kind of person he turned out to be because of those rejections, all appear to stand in his way of happiness, as if he can't help being a bundle of sadness and a harbinger of problems. Even as he says he doesn't believe in destiny or fate. Or as we initially are made to believe in the game as, yeowoon's happiness, when in reality this was never about yeowoon at all. Yeowoon never existed in the first place and in "real" life, he never does.

I was blown away by how Myungha is in fact no longer in the mortal world but that fact doesn't hurt as much as that he would have to leave a world where he could finally feel happiness, feel loved, feel cared for, even if he consciously tried avoiding them. They still came to him, they still cared for him, they still fiercely wanted to protect him, (Cos he is just a tiny meow meow, who has been hurt a lot in his life, who wouldn't wanna caress and nurse him back to health HUH) just as much as he wanted to protect them.

And coming to the question of what's the game, where is it happening and who orchestrated it? It's definitely set in the afterlife or the limbo between life and the life after. It could be the author friend doing it, or the author friend has given myungha's brain the power to control the game OR of course the possibility that this has all been happening in myungha's head the whole time.

Whatever it is, the whole point has been to take Myungha from a person not wanting to live his life, feeling so devoid of love and happiness, to a journey of love and friendship, of the importance of fostering connections, of making efforts, of helping others, but equally of letting others help you, of putting your hand out and asking for that help. And in my head I love it most when I think of it as entirely Myungha orchestrated. Of it being a desperate cry of pain to himself, from himself, to save himself. Yeowoon and the game and the missions and all of it was for him to see himself in ways he never allowed himself to be seen as, to take care of himself in ways he never has, to love himself like he has never known to. To finally run towards himself, even if pathetic and sad, the Cha Yeowoon of the game, the person waiting at the end of the finishing line was the Tae Myungha in him all along.

You know that tumblr quote 'do it for her' but its about your future self, right? Myungha rooting for Yeowoon is sort of like that? When he's protecing him, he's protecting himself? When he's cheering for him, he's actually cheering and rooting for himself? When he's loving him, he makes space and place to love himself?

I just love the idea of a (self) love story.

Eitherway Yeowoon x Myungha supremacy.

Extreme(ly accurate?) Interpretations apart, Love for Love's Sake is truly one of the, if not THE finest (self) love story I might have ever seen.

As a person who avoids fics/books with mcd or shows with tragic endings, it felt absolutely revolutionary to me that my biggest joy and relief came from the fact that the main character is dead (the thought of myungha having to leave the game was too much to handle) and he gets to live in this game where he has a cute boyfriend, a supportive, caring friend group and his grandma back. it wasn't the game that was temporary or non-existent, it was actually his life outside. And that's not bad? Cos this is a story and Myungha isn't real, but as real as he is, he got his happy ending.

The show taught us to love, to see love, to be loved and to share that love. It told us that maybe the afterlife is a videogame simulation where we all get to live in friendship and love forever, with our blorbo and our friends. There are a lot worse lives to live. And I'm glad he found it in himself, enough love, courage and hope to write himself a better one :')

[royalarchivist]

Fit: I'm gonna go– I think I'm gonna check on Ramon to see how he's doing back at the house.

Phil: Ok, sounds good, king.

Fit: Yeah. But hey– good luck out there, and stay safe, alright? 'Cuz like I said, only 48 hours until doomsday!

Phil: Why– you can't keep saying it! Fck! [Long groan] 😫

Fit: No, we got this, Phil. We're gonna protect our Eggs, no matter what.

—

Throwback to Phil and Fit's Operation: Spyglass plan to l̶a̶g̶ t̶h̶e̶ s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶r̶ er, stop time if that's what it took to save the Eggs.

[ Full transcript ↓ ]

—

Fit: I'm gonna go– I think I'm gonna check on Ramon to see how he's doing back at the house.

Phil: Ok, sounds good, king.

Fit: Yeah. But hey– good luck out there, and stay safe, alright? 'Cuz like I said, only 48 hours until doomsday!

Phil: Why– you can't keep saying it! Fck! [Long groan] 😫

Fit: No, we got this, Phil. We're gonna protect our Eggs, no matter what.

Phil: Right, worst- worst-case scenario: let's just fckin' lag the server with the spyglasses [Laughs] Alright?

Fit: That's right, yep!

Phil: Operation: Spyglass.

Fit: As soon as the Eggs are in any– exactly. If they're in mortal danger, we will just spam the sht out of it. That's right.

Phil: [Laughs] It's the most fcking like, metagame broken sht ever, like...

Fit: I know, it's like, we're literally like stopping time, it's gonna be a Jojo reference, I guarantee.

Phil: "Fail-RIP" we'll have to RP through it and just act like we have stands, like, that freeze time. Like Jojo, like you said.

Fit: Oh yeah– [Unintelligible Stand-summoning call (?)]

Phil: Let me bring out– let me bring out my time- my stopwatch. [Laughs] Oh my god, what if– what– oh my god wait, hold on, hold on. What if, right, what if you craft a watch, alright, you craft a clock and then you hold it in your hand, and then I spam the spyglass to make it look like you froze time with your clock? [Laughs]

Fit: There's so much meme potential, it's absurd. [Laughs]

Phil: Just be like: "You stop right there, dragon scum! It's our Eggs! I'm gonna freeze time!" and then you just like, pull out the clock, and then I secretly get like the spyglass and just spam it a bunch. And then whilst they're all confused, you run and just annihilate the dragon or steal the Eggs back.

Fit: Oh yeah. And then– then the admins are gonna see that you're the one spamming packets, and they're gonna be like, "What's going on here?" and we're both gonna get– we're both gonna get the chair, I guarantee it.

Phil: Well they should have fixed it! They should have fixed it, alright?

Fit: [Laughs]

Phil: It's their problem, not ours. Kidding– [Laughs]

[apple-onigiri]

I need to know why nobody is talking about the fact the King chose the title of King.

I read that dialogue discussing why the King is called that and went "Oh, so the forgotten island is a monarchy" and assumed everyone thought the same but apparently not (at least from what I've seen, I joined the fandom quite recently so if I'm wrong and this was a more common theory in the past please tell me)

I've seen some people say the island has knights because of the King's armor and read that post about how the people of the forgotten island are wizards and wizards only became fictional after the island was forgotten which only confuses me more about why nobody says the forgotten island has a King, I thought we all agreed that knights, wizards and secret princes/princesses all go together.

It's cool that most fanfics describe the island as this place that's super advanced and developed and are much more knowledgeable about everything than everyone else but the high fantasy alternative has so much potential.

People who wave around intricately carved sticks for no other reason that it makes them feel more confident when performing Wish craft, armies that are just King's lookalikes that fight by punching people and growling so loud you actually receive damage, Queen Elizabeth canon! Queen Elsa canon!!!!!

I'd talk more about the forgotten island hierarchy but I literally have no idea how any of that works, fantasy books that keep mixing counts and dukes do not help.

ohhhh interesting!! yeah, no, i myself haven't seen that anywhere :o it's a v intriguing avenue for interpreting the island

i think i myself didn't think of that because of what the focus on stars implies for me. cougghhs. sickly so

so there is a pendulum-like trend in culture's history that you can observe where the general temperaments shifted either towards reason and science or religion and the soul, the shift being ruled by historical events and people growing tired of the status quo. it's. yk what i'm just gonna. translate, uh. here

this is a lit class now. i guess. this stupid thing is just etched into my brain because i've seen it so many times, so it's easier shown than explained. somehow, there is no english version of this that i could find. but we move

knights and princesses and kings, despite persevering past medieval times, are most reminiscent of that era to me, and yeah science didn't really have it nice back then what with all the concealment or even destruction of ancient sources. vast steps in the field of astronomy had been taken within eras more concerned with furthering the entirety of human knowledge, like the ancient times or the renaissance. since the islanders are both so culturally focused on the universe and have such a vast knowledge of the stars, it seems reasonable to jot them down as a society focused on reason a lot more. they don't even pray to the universe, really! they just call upon it with requests!

so yeah, hence me not really connecting the dots on the king's name meaning anything else other than him deciding he knows best and making a unilateral decision to Freeze The Whole Country for uh. looks at smudged ink on the back of my hand. Greater Good. or whatever

or, funnily, in my fic (which will someday come out, i so prommie) it's because he took it from the cepheus constellation's meaning. i have a system in that fic where middle names are patron constellations. i do indirectly drag the king for it in the form of siffrin scoffing at the idea lmao

but aah it is a cool concept, what you're talking about!! there is a lot of potential in a monarchic society, and for high fantasy on the island for sure! :o especially with all the wish craft involved, which is just wanting something to pretty please happen really hard if you think about it. i especially like the concept of fckin carved sticks being used to channel it fjdhj hmmm tho to be fair, i don't think odile really needs specifically her book to craft but she holds it when she does anyway, so it might be a part of a universe-wide need for a focus... gahh this is interesting!! thank you for the ask!

[florawrites-blog]

Rant

Okay roses let me rant to you guys about the dream i had its a lucid dream where me and my bestfriend nudie shared a school with jay and jake and she had a crush on jake which is her actual bias but she was to shy to talk to him so she made me act as if i had a crush on him and made me confess and give him letters but it was written by her and jake was so goddamn mean like so mean he'd reject me each time and they were both like very popular in school anyway he would reject me and like make me look like fool and all and i didnt wanna tell nudie cause i felt bad about it so i'd still confess to him but then there was a party and he humiliated me infront of the whole school and nudie was there and so she got so mad at jake and as i wanted to escape from the humiliation then my heel broke and then GUYS GUESS WHO HELPED ME ITS FCKIN JAY GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HES BEEN LOWKEY BIAS WRECKING MY BIAS SO HARD AND NOW HE OH GOD anyway then i woke up AS HE LOWKEY WAS ABOUT TO HELP ME I WOKE UP RUDE ASF

anyway here is a scenario of this dream because why the hell not:

The Confession and Redemption

You and your best friend, Nudie, were navigating the turbulent waters of high school together. Nudie harbored a secret crush on Jake Sim, one of the most popular guys in school. Shy and unable to confess her feelings, she asked you to deliver her love letters to him. Reluctantly, you agreed, not wanting to let your friend down.

Every time you approached Jake with a letter, he cruelly rejected you in front of his friends, including Jay. Despite the humiliation, you kept trying, determined to help Nudie. The situation escalated at a class leader's party. You decided to confess again, unaware that Nudie was present. This time, Jake humiliated you in front of half the school. Nudie, seeing her best friend being ridiculed, angrily confronted Jake.

Devastated, you left the party, trying to find a taxi to take you home. As you stumbled, your heel broke, leaving you sitting on the rough ground, tears streaming down your face. Suddenly, you felt a coat being draped over your shoulders. Looking up, you saw Jay, Jake's friend, standing above you, scanning the area for onlookers.

"Get up," he said, his voice cold but tinged with concern.

"Go away, Jay, please," you replied, trying to dismiss him. He walked away, and you thought he had left. But then you saw him leaning against a wall nearby.

"I'll wait until you get tired of sitting on the ground," he stated.

Embarrassed, you got up, and Jay noticed your injured leg. "I fell, I didn't sit here to cry," you explained.

"Take them off" he instructed, " take what off" you said confused "the heels" you looked down remembering they broke "yeah thanks but im not walking bare footed" he hesitated at first but then, he lowered himself to sitting on one knee taking your feet to his knee as he unbuckle your broken heels.

"You didn't have to do that," you muttered, avoiding eye contact feeling both hot and speechless.

"Of course I didn't, but you weren't being helpful either. Now, please be more helpful and get on my back," he said, signaling for you to climb on.

Reluctantly, you did as he asked, and he carried you to his car. "Where are we going?" you asked.

"I'm taking you home," he replied curtly.

"Did Jake tell you to do this?" you inquired.

"No."

"Then why?"

"Because," he said, cutting off further questions. The drive home was silent until it was not " so are you gonna tell me the reason why you helped me" you broken the unbearable silence "do i really need a reason to help you" "well of course I mean I dont know you tell me dont you think its weird weve been in the same class for years you saw me clinging on jake for all that time and you event witnessed me getting humiliated but didnt even mutter a word to me but then now you magically saw me and help me what does that even mean" he sighs as he lays a hand on his nose bridge " fine y/n i know why you did all of that its for your friend isnt it i overheard both of you talk in class and honestly i felt bad for you" you look at him in disbelief "wow okay i see so now i am you charity case or oh please dont tell me after overhearing me and nudie talk you told jake and made a bet to humiliate me right" "aye right like i would do that" "we-" you get cut off by jay mid scentence "just let me drive you home and after that lets both forget this ever happened" "fine lets do that" as you reached to your house. He handed you a pair of slippers from his car.

As you entered your apartment gate, Jay leaned his head on the steering wheel. "You sure do drive me crazy, Y/N. So crazy. Did it have to be you?" he whispered to himself, feeling a mix of frustration and unspoken affection.

hehe hope you enjoyed

[houseofbrat]

Trump admin showing their ass right now

Before it was that they could fire us no problem but now he wants to offer us severance if we quit? Geeeee I wonder why

Not only that, but how is he going to guarentee 8 months severance in about a week when he has no control over the budget?

It's because they don't plan on paying you and they are trying to shake you out.

Well fuck that

BECAUSE I AM NOT FUCKING LEAVING!

This smells like Elon Musk

The "fork in the road" subject line is a close match for a similar message he sent out to Twitter employees after taking over there.

Where’s the buyout part????? It just looks like you’re agreeing to resign by 9/30 to not have to RTO. Where’s the benefit of resigning???

This is where I’m so confused. All these article say resigning by Feb 6 with a payout through Sept 30… this email says NOTHING of a payout or severance. ONLY that you do not need to follow RTO order through Sep 30, and you’re committed to resigning.

Hmm. That’s less than the 2 years Elon promised on the campaign trail. 

The art of the deal says we hold out for a better offer. Lol that gave me a chuckle. I laughed at 7 months, but 2 years I might actually think about it.

What they're saying: "The government-wide email being sent today is to make sure that all federal workers are on board with the new administration's plan to have federal employees in office and adhering to higher standards. We're five years past COVID and just 6 percent of federal employees work full-time in office. That is unacceptable," a senior administration official tells Axios.

This is what happens when leaders lie without consequence, new rules based on fabricated "facts".

Only 6%?? Like come on. That's 120,000. We've got that many people onsite at one of our buildings on campus. And we're a branch under a branch. Let's be fckin for real.

All the DC offices are empty except for one guy in the Hoover building who comes in to use the treadmill Source: my brothers cousins landlords former accountant

Complete lie. Over 50% work in the office as everyone knows that if you work in a SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility) then you have to work on site. That includes the Pentagon, many outlying security facilities in the DMV and across the country. I'm at a Navy conference this week in San Diego and everyone is talking about the staggering incompetence and unpredictability of what these clowns are doing.

They can't just make up a buy out plan. You have to fund it....you have to follow existing law. Is it FULL retirement with full benefits or partial? This is a distraction AND concession that they realize they can't fire everyone the way they'd like so they are hoping to bribe some to take it. If you are a fed...I'd be very certain you have a really good federal employment attorney look at any agreement long before you ever sign it. DM if you need one in DC that specializes in such things.

That senior official would be Sen. Joni Ernst, according to the CNBC article that has the same quote and attributes it to her. She is such a POS.

An OMB report notes that as of May 2024, 54% of Feds worked in person full time. Only 10% were fully remote.

Edit: source of statistic.

My favorite:

The White House expects 5% to 10% of federal employees to accept the offer, which would potentially mean hundreds of thousands of people.

The administration projects the buyouts could ultimately save taxpayers up to $100 billion a year.

Roughly 5% of the federal workforce retired last year, so... they are projecting business as usual. Much wow.

They are actually going to cost the taxpayer MORE money because those that would have retired within the next 4-5 months will gladly take the additional months to September as the verbiage says retention of pay and benefits "regardless of your daily workload".

The incentivization of telework and non-RTO to resigning employees shows how ridiculous their argument for RTO is.

They are going to frontload the stats for resignations (retirements) to boast and gloat about the job they've done people will praise them for a job well done. Very similar to Elon's playing with vehicle delivery and manufacturing at Tesla centered around earnings dates. The story will disappear until September when they gloat and boast about it again.

If they think they are taking my pension, vet pref, work life balance and COMMITMENT to service for 18k after taxes, they are insane. I will be posted up in my office fueled by nothing but duty and spite until I am 90 years old. Telework doesn't move me enough to let them steal what I have worked hard to earn. F*ck them. Great news for those who need it though, seriously.

"All things are possible through spite, it strengthens me."

I have an unreasonable amount of stubbornness and the military taught me how to stew in it. Embrace the suck

I love that energy. I worry they won't even get buyouts though. I think Trump is hoping people quit and then when they don't get their money, there's nothing legally they can do. They can only pay 25k max, and whoever resigns won't have any legal paperwork saying they're owed a buyout. Just the empty promises of a con man.

Edit: Someone posted the letter in another thread. It's not even a buyout. Just an offer to be exempt from RTO on the condition that you resign on or before Sept 30.

Another edit: other people have read it much more closely and clearly than me. Read all the comments below. 

Edit again bc some of you can't be bothered to read: there was no email when I initially commented this. Now there's an email. Go read that.

Original comment:This is very likely a bait and switch. Feb 6th is way too soon for OPM and your agency to formulate a plan of which jobs/series qualify and then gather the money to offer it.

Remember, we're still under a CR until March 14th.. We don't even have the money to go to April!!

Also, I know they're breaking laws left and right, but the statutory max payout is $25k. They legally can't pay you more than that even if they had it. I doubt they're gonna break the law in your favor.

Bottom line this is a complete BS scam designed to fool people into resigning by next week only for them to rug pull you after you're gone.

Edit to add: ok guys I get it, there's a email and a memo out there. Just remember, I wrote this comment when the details were a few paragraphs in an AP article. Like seriously, who would've thought he'd just put people on admin leave for the rest of the year?!? Normal buyouts have rules, he's ignoring them. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. They're literally creating no-show jobs

But caution is still warranted... we don't have a full year's budget, if there's cuts in the rest of your agency's budget then they're fucked. All those no-show jobs are gonna be like an anchor until Oct 1

Not a Fed, but helping some out. They've overplayed their hand, they have to offer buyouts because they cannot fire folks as easily as they thought.

Exactly the reason that we stay

Don't forget there is not NEAR enough physical space to RTO the entire force. They will need to spend a FORTUNE to acquire the additional space needed after 15 years of downsizing, in accordance with the Telework Act of 2010. Doing a blanket RTO was so stupid, wasteful, unnecessary, and a massive burden on taxpayers.

Just like the deportation flights using military transports for optics at a much higher cost than civilian transports. Government efficiency was never the goal. Edit: clarity

Per an employment law friend: for folks close to retirement…..Don’t throw away your pension for a cash buy out.

Per a former employment lawyer (me), this is used car salesman tactics. You’d probably get just as much in unemployment if Trump shitcans you in a few months. Stay the course Edit: I just read the actual email sent to us. It's not a buyout. It's "continue to work from home and we accept your resignation on 9/30 or earlier"

“The government wide email being sent”. Makes me wonder if this was the reason for the email test from OPM.

It’s like the Nubian prince scam. They’ll pay you IF you provide your bank account and SS#. 

It definitely is. NBC references it in their article https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-administration-offer-federal-workers-buyouts-resign-rcna189661 And it references another article about the server https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-administration-tests-power-email-every-federal-employee-rcna189126 There are so many illegal things there, but it looks like the press is trying to smooth it over as normal things our government does.

He would still need to get an appropriation through before feb 6. Technically offering the buy out before money is appropriated violates the anti deficiency act.

Dont think he particularly cares about any such laws He’s not actually going to pay anyone. So I guess he can say whatever he wants.

You guys, if you can, please try to hold on. There's a reason they're trying to get rid of federal workers. Mass attrition of Federal workers would heavily impact the services they provide to the American public, which would create a customer service void that would need to be quickly filled. They are going to try to fill that void by contracting out government work. They can grant and deny contracts based on party loyalty. Contractors can be easily induced to do unethical things with far fewer repercussions than Federal workers. The privatization of the Government will advance their financial interests and increase their power.

If Federal workers just quit, it makes it easier for them to do that. That is why it's so important for us to keep working if we can, because doing so keeps government in the hands of the people, and accountable to the people. They are making working conditions hostile specifically so people quit. This creates a void that they can fill to suit themselves. I'm going to hold the line. I wouldn't be able to face my children if I let go of what little resistance I have within my power.

Musk offered Twitter people severance and then never paid them. This is all part of his playbook. If there is no authority for this (and I don’t know there is?) they will just stiff you. Be very wary.

Exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn’t trust him to pay out.

This sounds like that they know the RTO Executive Order is on shaky ground, and is most likely violating the Telework Act of 2010 law. And they're trying to get ahead of any lawsuits.

My question is, what is so significant about the February 6th date?

I'm not sure it's about RTO, but that they're realizing behind the scenes that it's gonna be harder for them to downsize via "Schedule F-and-fire" than they thought, and after that they're running out of ways to get feds out of employment without them voluntarily quitting for these reasons.

This is it, exactly. This email is a last ditch effort to scare people after folks didn't quit in waves last week, lol

Friend they don't though. Most people are believing the narrative that we're all "overpaid rats" that aren't doing our jobs. I wish people knew what we do, and how little we're paid compared to our private sector counterparts. Most of us genuinely do it because we give a shit about the mission. No one is talking about what this is doing to us - we're not being counted as people. There is not public outcry about how this is going to negatively impact people, because people still refuse to believe that anyting bad is going to happen.

Please let people know this is what's happening. So many think yeah, get rid of those lazy government workers and shrink government. They don't realize what he's really doing, trying to get rid of laws or regulations so he can do what he wants. He wants to get rid of federal workers because we stand in his way. If feds are really doing nothing how does all government business get done everyday, by magic elves? He wants to be able to hire his family and friends and contractors so his rich friends can make even more money and he can fire them easily if they don't agree with him or agree to do something illegal. This isn't just about federal workers. All of America should be seriously concerned right now but they just don't get it.

[astralartefact]

Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Entry 008 - Pentiment <<Prev: Starfield:Shattered Space

Synopsis

The whimsy of a big-city artist makes a small south Bavarian township discover that maybe religion, politics and gender roles are kind of a big deal.

How much did I know before playing?

Not much, I've seen this game somewhere before and thought huh neat but then proceeded to completely forget it existed... until now

Did I like it more than I expected?

I literally played this on a whim so I did not have expectations; that being said it's pretty good.

And since we're talking about expectations while talking about an Obsidian game - I'm also one of the three people that has not played New Vegas. Please don't look at the previous entry in this diary. No, I don't want to talk about it.

Since I liked it, here's what I hated about it

Okay, this feels like an out-of-character thing for me to critique as an anti-history nerd who detests being made to remember arbitrary facts - which means I could very well be wrong on this - and ultimately I don't really care that much either and I think I even can make sense of it in a gigabrain kind of way, but. As someone who lives relatively close to where this game is set this just occupied a little space in my brain while playing this:

The architecture design of this game doesn't seem right at all.

I don't have some bullet-proof argument to make, after all there aren't all that many villages around that preserved all details of their structures from way back in the 1500s, but it just didn't feel right that I didn't recognize the architecture of this game at all when I live pretty close to where this game is set - and that's especially confusing in a game that clearly is very invested in historical accuracy (the game literally cites their bibliography at the end of the credits). I don't know, it's just something about the texturelessness of the white infills, the timber framing feels too narrow and too clean, the color and texture of stone surfaces doesn't look right even if it maybe is actually accurate, same with the very geometric, big shapes structure of the cloister.

I do think the latter actually makes some sense looking at it from the perspective that *spoilers* the game builds heavily to the reveal that the history of the town is far more roman than the church likes to admit? The architecture style of the cloister seems very roman and the architecture of the town houses (but notably not their arrangement) reminds me more of mock-ups I've seen of roman castrum towns around the Limes (which would be close enough to where the game is set) than of old pictures of historic german buildings i've seen - so I guess that could all be intended as a little hint towards keen-eyed players.

But even looking at it that way what's in the game just reminds me more of what houses look like in generic Medieval Fantasy Animes than anything else and that made it feel a little bit less like "this is literally right here somewhere in Bavaria." Like, I can look at a house in Manor Lords and say "Yup, I've seen an old barn like that around here somewhere" and I didn't really do that for any of the architecture in this game.

It's also a bit of a headscratcher for me given how historically accurate the game presents itself. Like, they go out of their way to have an "period accurate walking cycle" but they couldn't look up a couple of old buildings? And now we have several articles commending the game for its dedicated historical accuracy... but I guess that's a journalism problem

Another thing I didn't really like is that the contents of the Third Act Mural didn't have any narrative impact at all, I played the entire third act going like "okay, i have to be at least a little bit pro-church or else the inquisitors are going to fckin kill us with those guns they've threatened me with" and yet turns out? didn't matter at all lol, what does matter is that i talked to a pagan a little bit too long, that made him do that to other people too which in turn got him killed. turns out i'm an enabler ._.

Also for those murals in particular, while I liked that you basically choose them post-mortem I didn't like that they only really explain the implications of your choice after you made it, especially since the character that asks you what you chose immediately berates you with every textbook nuance you probably didn't think about. If you want me to learn that stuff you should probably tell me before, now I just feel stupid even if I thought of some of those nuances.

also "Mags" doesn't really make sense as a nickname for the german pronounciation of Magdalene (ma as in mama) and I'm kind of mad the german localization kept it unchanged

What did this game make me think about?

Gender Roles. Classic. Oldie but Goldie as they say.

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

The font typing of the dialogue is so cool. Like, the typos are randomized to some degree which means it's built in to the code of the text animation?? That's so cool. (ngl though, i think the typos happen way too often)

And using the font to tell something about the social standing of the speaker and then, every once in a while when talking to a character for the second time they show the change of their font when the player character realizes their first impression doesn't actually align with the person they're talking to only to then use it with the dramatic purple font at the end gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh so cool so so so so so cool

Outstanding Audio

The music swelling in dramatic moments was really well done.

Favorite Character

Okay, guys, this is embarassing to admit but... I really liked the doctor guy, something about him is kind of hot... That has never really been my type of character, I think mean characters are most of all annoying, but... I think I get it now.

I know I can fix him. because i did

Favorite Arc/Story Line

Looking at how interconnected the 3 arcs are it's kind of hard to pick one, but I think the first arc was my favorite, the other two felt a little bit more restrictive in a way I didn't love.

I did like Mags a lot more than Andreas though...

Favorite Set Piece

I really liked the eating scenes and the story book scenes, especially the one with Sebhat.

Favorite Scene

I already mentioned some (I will think about the purple font change for a while...) but also the reveal in Act 3, you always know something's up when your character leaves, but the camera view doesn't fade away...

German Localization Notes

This is my moment. This is somehow exactly what I made this section for and I didn't even know.

I'm pretty confident in saying that if you can speak German playing this game in German will make the experience of playing this game several times better. Not in an "the English version sucks" way, in a "it just makes sense" way.

There were several points in the game where I had to remind myself that this game wasn't made by a German indie dev or something because it just all fits together really well. The English writers did their research (well, except for the architecture) and the Localization managed to make it feel like this is exactly how it was meant to be played. I feel bad that I don't really have anything specific to point to - but in my defense maybe that's just a sign of how natural the dialogue felt to me. There was nothing "noteworthy" sticking out for me to analyze. It all just felt right.

And combining that with the setting? Crazy. I'm glad I played this game just for the German of it all.

It makes me wonder if it's easier or harder to localize a game that "should" be set in the language your translating it into. I can imagine a bit of both, I think while it's easier to know how it "should" sound, how the characters "should" speak - that same thing also goes for the audience. Whatever the case may be - the German Localization knocked it out of the park with this one...

except for mags why did you keep that!?!?!?

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

If you're ever feeling down on the industry, this is one of those games that makes you a little bit more confident in the future of gaming "as an art form". You don't need unlimited funds to make an interesting and insightful game, you just need means of production (not in a communist way... but also not not in a communist way), good planning and something to say.

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

Listen, I don't care all that much about the fact they got the architecture wrong, even now I would at most bring that up as a little fun fact in a conversation about it. The only reason I'm kind of cheesed off about it is that when I went to look it up everyone went wild about the stupid walking cycle as the pinnacle of accuracy when they got something so relatively fundamental wrong, especially when the framing of the story is particularly focused on the history of the Romans in southern Bavaria. When the big thing the game wants to tell you is about how the past, present and future connect. When it wants to impart how actively learning from the past will ultimately help you to presently commit better things to the future.

Like yeah, in that context it would have been nice if you could have looked up a German building from the 1500s or the structure of a Roman castrum town - which you should probably have stumbled over during your research. Also, that sort of town structure would have been perfect for a hidden in plain sight reveal. Who cares that there was absolutely not a single way one of those towns would have survived into the 1500s - that's something to break with historical accuracy for! also p sure the town layout doesn't make sense anyways

So it's kind of weird that you're sub-textually lecturing me about how important learning, knowing and growing from our history is while in context talking about roman architecture where ...you didn't really do the things you're talking about, at least not holistically. Like... do you know what you're talking about? I think so, but... bad mistake to make if you want to prove that.

But hey, at least there are some Hyperspecific Lore Details that we can parade around, that's all we need to commend the entire game for its outstanding accuracy, because what's Understanding but learning arbitrary history facts.

Also, just for whoever needs to read it: No, none of this broke my suspension of disbelief because I'm a big boy who knows stories aren't real.

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

Marriage is really one of those things, huh. Just a constant that most of our civilization has only now considered might not be all that necessary - or let's call it sacred - but it's still everywhere. The three things family members that don't actually really know what you're about will talk about is the food, your work and then your love life. The food is lacking something... anyways how much money do you make and when can I expect children? Those are the constants. We all eat, We all work, We all procreate. Right?

Right.

I guess next time your weird uncle asks you to "hide your girlfriend" when he's announcing himself before entering the room - a lot of assumptions he never really thought about in a sentence he feels really adamant about saying - let's all take a moment to remember that that's an enduring piece of living history from all the way back in the 1500s and prior.

[stupid-dumb-bitch]

My reaction to each one because I can:

1: I'll try booster 💖. *fuck the police starts blasting and I'm bleeding from my ears* Yeah🖕☺️🖕!

2: cute

3: boys will be bugs right! 🎶

4: ah snuggles- who is who?

5: still don't know but it don't matter🎶

6: "gape at the mound apon thine backside" *Imbrandonfarris and Cameron demasky playing in the back of my head "that's a wide back for a gal"*

7: how tf is bro so long- like if I lay with my hips on the armrest I'd maybe come to the middle of the first cushion (the one closer)

8: aw

9: yes Batman, but riddle me this.... you're gay

10: how about you stfu whoever you are *Jim carry from sonic movie starts playing abruptly in my head.* "listen- major nobody cares"

11: yes. 👍. This is how this interaction is supposed to go. Why are you confused, Ted? Kiss him back.

12: heh-

13: bro's got a rock on his head- I was hit in the head with several rocks as a child.

14: lve u 2 *said with bottom lip stuck to top teeth to withhold the aggression in my love for if it were to escape that small lil guy would simply explode*

15: awww *puts in shirt pocket*

16: is that fckin' bluey- ay bug shorts!

17: "being hunted for sport" *fades out of existence from laughing too hard; literally dying laughing* 💀💀

18: Oh- Booster what are you doing, honey?

19: Oh- Booster, what are you doing, honey?🌚

20: uh-

21: 💀💀💀- *choked on saliva*

22: yOu cAn hOlD hIm iN tHe pAlM oF yOuR hAnD

23: oop-

24: mood. No seriously though I simply need more of them they mean so much to me, more than money more than the world- dare I say more than food- *goes on a tangit for the next 12 minutes*

25: uh- Ted- honey- there are better ways to learn about this rather than shit that is made solely for entertainment- like why are you still on the computer? Did you not hear Booster come in- wow that must have been a BIZARRE thing to stumble in apon...

26: 👍

27:👍

28: aww Booster is doing work- or zoning-out looking at the board/pretending to do work

29: boobie- tit- boob- no but officer: tittie

30: aww

do you love the colour of the boostle ms paint doodle dump

[hoodieimp]

The biggest struggle with writing Deltarune fanfic is trying to figure out what the heck (hell) the Addisons’ names should be 

[legyt]

Reading Transformers: Dark Cybertron Vol.2 (#7-12) Part 5

Aintnoway Bumblebee talked Megatron out of killing someone 🙉

WHAT.

EXCUSE ME WHAT????

...

BUMBLEBEE JUST-

HES DEAD??????

UM.???

BRAINSTORM??? I AM CONCERNED AND CONFUSED??

no fcking mames

HOLY SHIT

WAIT

IS IT BCUZ BRAINSTORM GOT ZAPPED BY THAT THINGY, WHICH MADE HIM KINDA DEAD BUT NOT- AS IF THE DEAD UNIVERSE TOUCHED HIM???

IS IT BCUZ OF THAT THAT IT KINDA CONNECTED BRAINSTORM TO THE DEAD UNIVERSE WHERE RODIMUS AND OP COULD TUG AT SAID CONNECTION TO PULL THEM OUT OF THE DEAD UNIVERSE???? Lik, lik a tether from one plane of existence to another, a single thread to lead them back home.

Bro....

Whirl wtf. This little wild fcker played a part of giving Megatron a nudge and then a war happened.

Now he killed an enemy leader of a species that's been in a war far longer than Cybertron, and now it's bitten him in the ass.

Whirl, my guy, mayb u should learn some self-control 😭

Though the thing with Megatron wasn't rly his choice... but still. 🤦

I love Brainstorm- there's a lot of characters that I love in this series

He's so... I'd say dramatic but that doesn't quite fit right, but he's certainly got a taste for dramatic flares

(And yes, holy fck I liked him even more after the whole time travel thing happened, and yes I would love to talk abt that)

LMFAO shut the door, these two r so fckin hilarious

((I'm still reeling and processing what happened to fcking Bumblebee, lik wdym he's fcking dead????))

Reading Transformers: Dark Cybertron Vol.2 (#7-12)

Well. I guess I have another comic to add to my to-read.

It'd also be pretty nice to know the context of how the hell Kup got dumped into this place.

Rodimus fr started growing on me as I read the MTMTE series. Like yes he's reckless and impulsive, but lik, the guy does hav his moments.

Why is he holding the poor mech lik that 😭

OMAHGAD. WOMEN.

I hab never known who Prowl was, until well... now. I only ever started actually knowing the characters when I started getting interested in Transformers, and I only know bits and pieces abt Prowl, so it's rly interesting to see him in action.

My guy looking real happy to take charge of planning an attack, but ig that's kinda his thing isn't it?

Can't wait to read Sins of the Wreckers and Robots in Disguise, since I want to see more of this guy and on how tf him and the Constructicons happened.

[hunterbunter3000]

if theres anything i love more its chaotic sweetheart oml its so fckin funny

i just thought of like during TF 141 missions, meetings or just out of nowhere sweetheart will sometimes say "omg this reminds me of when i got ban from the aquarium in [where ever tf] cause i jumped into the shark tank to pet the sharks" or she hears that they're going to a place like italy or europe for a mission and shes like "im actually ban from like 3 of their museums" or whatever

and the team think shes fucking with them but they find out its true because she has videos and pictures of her doing these things and they're all like : 😦😟😀 huh??

like imagine they're at a zoo or aquarium and shes like "bet me $20 to jump in?" and they're all actively trying to hold her back so she doesn't get banned again 😭 they have her on those backpack leashes when they go out 💀

HAHAHHAHA I CANT

THIS IS SO HER 100000%%%%

She said something unhinged before, but they didn't believe her

(TF 141 watching the american news. Someone was arrested for trying to steal a fish from the same aquarium Sweetheart stole from)

Sweetheart: HA! Oh my god, my brother and I did that once there.

Gaz: Go to the aquarium?

Sweetheart, reminiscing: Yeah, and we went fishing there to catch some sea creatures. We caught this japanese spider crab and started running cause the police and workers started chasing us. But we got away! AND GOD THAT CRAB WAS SO GOOD-- I don't know why people don't eat those more!

🧍‍♀️

AHAHA ...girl please

So they all kinda chuckled at that, but Soap kinda prods at it more because he thought she was making up a story 💀

Soap, smirking: So... you stole a state protected Japanese Spider Crab from an aquarium. Got away with it. And ate it with your kin.

Sweetheart, smiling like a dummy: Yuh huh.

Soap, questioning her thought process: And only your brother?

Sweetheart, nodding: Yup! My mom said that since we had a brother-sister hangout day, he should get food and he did! OH OH WANNA SEE PICTURES?? I HAVE A FULL ALBUM

Soap: Whuh- WOAH YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH?!

Alex: WAIT WHAT

Sweetheart: of course I was! You thought I was lying?

Soap and Gaz: YES

Sweetheart: YOU GUYS HAVE MET MY FAMILY THIS SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISING

She was showing them pictures of when she was younger, like 13 years old, with her third older brother. And she was legit fishing in the aquarium with him 💀 she even has a video of her ACTUALLY CATCHING THE CRAB

And then some pictures of her brother boiling it in the back of his pickup truck and eating ALL OF IT (JAPANESE SPIDER CRABS ARE HUGE MIND YOU)

They were like 😨😨🤯 GIRL WHAT THE FUCK KINDA LIFE YOU LIVIN

So they believe the stories she says UNLESS she has pictures (and with every story she does 💀💀)

And omg her being banned in some places-- IN SOME STATES AND OUT OF COUNTRY BECAUSE OF THE UNLUCKY LUCK

Sweetheart, raising her hand: Wait where are we going?

Graves, rolling his eyes: To America.

Sweetheart: Uh huh yeah I got that but which state?

Graves: Ohio?

Sweetheart: Ahhhh okay. I can't go.

Graves, leaning on the table: And why is that, Sergeant Sweetheart?

Sweetheart: Well, Philip Graveyard, I'm banned.

Alex: What, in the facility?

Sweetheart, scratching her cheek: No the whole state.

Soap: WHAT

Ghost: HUH

Sweetheart, shrugging like she's talking about the weather: Yeah. Ohio, Florida, Wyoming, couple of other states, and some out of country.

Sweetheart, whispering: ...Alot out of country, honestly.

They're like what 🧍‍♀️

Soap, in disbelief: wh-why?

Sweetheart: Turns out, going on a plane with matches and a baton can cause a heck of a panic. And...

Sweetheart: ...It's illegal.

Ghost: OF FOCKIN COURSE ITS ILLEGAL

Sweetheart: WELL I KNOW THAT NOW. I WAS SEVENTEEN WHEN THAT HAPPENED

Soap: YOU WERE SEVENTEEN--

She showed pictures obviously.

Price, tired and confused: Why do you take pictures of everything you do.

Sweetheart: For the memories!

Graves, wiping his face: Oh my god...

Sweetheart: And evidence so I don't go to prison.

Soap, under his breath: Good lord

Price has to study on Sweetheart's past, so one: she won't get arrested anytime she goes out and two: so he can learn about this "unlucky luck" that's been happening for centuries in her family

(He still doesn't understand it)

And when they go on vacation together as a team it's a nightmare 💀

Sweetheart: Can't go on that.

Soap, smirking: Why? Awww, Sweetheart are ya scared?

Sweetheart: Nah, I'll get arrested. Restraining orders go craaaaazy stupid in London.

Soap and Gaz:

Gaz: How-- How do you get a restraining order on a ferris wheel...?

And then when they went to a zoo in Scotland (because she's not banned or has any restraining orders there) and this is so iconic

Sweetheart, looking in the cage and smiling: Bet me a twenty to jump in?

Gaz, snaps his neck and has a heart attack: Sweetheart, no--

Horangi, putting his hand on her shoulder: Please don't.

Sweetheart, scoffing playfully: I'm not! Oh my gosh. You actually have to bet me the twenty to actually do the--

König, Pulls out $100 because he wants to see this actually happen:

Sweetheart, looking at his hand:

Everyone looking at König's hand:

Sweetheart, looking up at König with a straight face:

Everyone looking at Sweetheart:

Ten seconds later:

Soap, struggling with Sweetheart: SWEETHEART NO STOP

Horangi, pulling Sweetheart's foot: DONT ACTUALLY JUMP IN THERE

Ghost, trying to push Sweetheart off the cage: GOD DAMMIT KÖNIG WHY DID YOU ACTUALLY GIVE HER MONEY TO DO IT

König: I THOUGHT SHE WAS BLUFFING

Price, pulling on Sweetheart's leg: YOU KNOW SWEETHEART DOESN'T BLUFF WHEN IT COMES TO THIS KIND OF THING

Sweetheart: GIVE ME THAT HUNNID BABAY

That was the last STRAW for price. So he ordered a human leash backpack for Sweetheart 💀

Sweetheart, holding the contraption: What is this?

Price, frowning with his arms crossed: It's a leash.

Sweetheart: Okay?

Price: For you.

Sweetheart:

Sweetheart, dumbfounded: W h a t

Price: When we go out for vacation, you're wearing this.

Sweetheart, brain loading the information she just heard:

Sweetheart: Are you... SERIOUS???

Sweetheart: I'm not some child, Price!

Price: Yet you act like one everytime we go out as a team!

Sweetheart: I'm just having fun!

Price: I DONT SEE HOW HANGING UPSIDE DOWN ON A FUCKIN' LEDGE ON THE EIFFEL FUCKIN' TOWER IS FUN

Sweetheart: THAT WAS ONE TIME

Price: AND ONE TIME TOO MANY

Price: You're wearing it.

And she wears it. Luckily it was in pink and she decorated it with stickers and charms.

Sweetheart, huffing and sitting on the ground with her arms crossed: This sucks cactus balls, man.

Ghost, walking with the leash: Come on, Sweetheart.

Sweetheart, whining: Weeeeeehhhhh...

Sweetheart, getting dragged: OW YOU'RE RUINING MY NEW JEANS AND MY FUCKING ASS-- OKAY OKAY I'LL GET UP

Ghost: Mhm.

[winter-tospring]

They all did Anakin dirty, I hate them 😭😭😭😭😭 I hate Yoda the most, what a fucking bitch, from the beginning he just ruined this poor kid's life, and then kept going over and over, like give him a fucking break, my god, so all these movies he says he should just obey them and not fear, nor hate, not feel anything "negative" but suddenly when it's convenient for him "please search your feelings" BITCH YOU TAUGHT HIM, FORCED JIM,IN ORDER FOR HIM TO BE SEEN AS A TRUE JEDI, THAT HE SHOULD REPRESS ALL HIS FEELINGS, AND NOW YOU EXPECT TO BE ABLE TO DIG IN EASILY AND WITHOUT CONFUSION????? that's not guidance, that's making him suspicious and WHY WOULDN'T HE BE, he SHOULD be suspicious, because YOU, YODA FUCKER, ARE AN ASSHOLE AND THE WORST, and he's right to not trust you and to feel resentment. All the feelings he expresses throughout his arc are valid and he does the best job at expressing himself and reflecting honestly, which is honestly impressive, and I personally resent that fckin council for dismissing it and treating him as a nothing who can't participate in Grown Up Conversations Because He's Not Experienced ™. The true child young adult experience. Being super skilled but put to the side by elders cause they can't stand that you're more talented than them. Like hello, he could've done the job Obi Wan was sent for and it would have given him a confidence boost to see the council trust him. He deserved that. He deserved to be recognized and not feared. The Jedi who claim that fear is the enemy are also the ones terrified of Anakin and his potential, hypocrites. And they do want to maintain their power. That's the thing, Palpatine isn't completely wrong about them, and that only further destroys Anakin's trust in the Jedi. The Jedi who take him away from his mom, telling him to never look back, then never recognize him, only fear him, instead of guiding, supporting, being a hand, and friends he can rely on in his life.

It's all so terribly horrible. All of it. All the things that happen to him. He's manipulated, and alone, and holding on to the one thing that's vulnerable with him, and of course he doesn't want to lose it. He has no one!!!! I didn't resent Obi-Wan as much in this movie, he did grow a bit, after being by Anakin's side for longer and him rubbing off on him. He's more relaxed with Anakin, but too naive about the Jedi. Anakin questions things and he is tragically naive, which is a dangerous combination for someone as powerful as him.

It's so terrible that he had to see the prophecies in his head. It's so terrible that Palpatine used him heartlessly. It's so terrible that Obi-Wan doesn't think a bit longer about what happened and why Anakin is like this, and then leaves him there, without saying a bad word about the Jedi.

You can so much see how much Anakin hates himself for turning to the dark side. The hood over his head feels like him hiding. The shame, and the necessity of this path, in his mind. It's so tragic, how used he was. It's heartwrenching to see him kneel to Palpatine, and accept his given name, and act for the abuser's side with tears in his eyes. It's too late, it's horrible. He needed lots of hugs 😭💔

Him being soft towards Luke later on makes all the sense. He does not want to be on this side. It was simply the inevitable side he had to be on, for the promise he was given. I can't fucking believe they even make him think HE killed Padmé. Maybe it contributed, what he did, but the RAGE in me about Palpatine telling him this. But anyway, the softness towards Luke, yes. Luke is so so similar to his dad, and freaking Yoda is freaking useless making Luke think his dad was horrible. Anakin was so much like Luke. Freaking Yoda keeping it to himself that he ruined his dad's life with his damn religion and restraining him instead of being a true friend. Luke would've loved his dad. And Anakin would be so proud of his son. And I'm so glad the last thing Anakin does is a proof of love that is not corrupted, but true to who he was before, and who he is, deep down, buried under the years of self loathing and manipulation. I'm so glad he met Luke, and that in the end, he was seen as himself, that it was recognized, at last, that he did have good in him. That his son, like Padmé, saw it, and believed in it, and fought for it. I'm so glad Anakin can even admit it to himself, after having Luke insist so much. How powerful that is. I'm also so glad he met Luke cause he just...should,you know? Anakin deserved that much.

[buggysimp]

Literally no one asked for it nor wanted this but I can't keep repeating it to my friends so now I must dump this onto Tumblr too

My headcanon for trans!Cartman and scenarios ig (super indepth and lengthy post 🤞 be warned)

So essentially, Liane still lives in Nebraska with her family, the broncos came to Nebraska to play against their team and that's when Liane became pregnant. She gave birth to and raised Cartman up until his toddler years in Nebraska, until he was able to talk and was like 'mehm I'm literally a boy 🤨' for months he was very adamant about it and would get confused when the family and strangers would call him a girl. After another month Liane moved to South Park, where no one knew them and she could raise Cartman as her son in a town where no one knew him as anything else. Since he was socially transitioned so young he doesn't even realize he's transgender cus he's 'always been a boy', in the cissy plot he'd recite all that stuff about trans people without ever connecting it to himself cause he was never a girl so he can't be trans obviously 🤨 ?? He's just a different type of boy his mehm told him so 🤞 I think Kyle would be the first one to find out and would be like WTF YOURE TRANS ?? and Cartman would just go I'm not trans I'm a dude until learning what it actually means then confronting his mom and she's just like 'sweetie I thought you knew I mean really you never questioned why you're the only boy without balls??' and his whole world is shattered cus he thought they grew in after puberty (him telling Heidi he thought balls were at the bottom of the vagina). After the initial shock he'd definitely use it to his advantage and would constantly accuse Kyle of being transphobic during argument and would threaten the school to get his way.

I think separately it'd rock Stan's world an he'd ask his dad like 'dad am I.....trans?' and Randy's js like stfu 😭

Also like the jersey episode Kyle would be complaining to Stan about Cartman accusing him of being transphobic and Stan would ask him 'yeah that's crazy, were you being transphobic though..?' and it would drive Kyle actually insane

Wendy would also be so pissed cause Cartman would say some sexist shit then defend it by saying he's also a chick so she can't get mad at him, alternatively Wendy would genuinely come out and go by both Wendy and Wendyl (genderfluid king) and Cartman would be pissed he's not the only transgender in school anymore

Like the cissy ep, butters would defend Cartman so fckin hard against 'transphobia' (the school saying Cartman can't have a second sloppy joe) and would be his ride or die

Uhmmm I think that's all I got rn if you read this 😽 thank youu I'm so actually mentally ill about this little guy please ask about this plesplesples

[theecunt]

Omfg y'all i just had a major epiphany !!!! 🤠🤠 + Success story 😸

( warning ⚠️ : veerrryyy long post )

So basically .... I usually just scroll loa blogs (as one does) and i always saw something like "consciousness is the only reality" or "imagination is the real reality"

And i was always like "girl wtf is you talkin about 🧐" and i never read them cuz i didn't understand it and i didn't want to overcomplicate the loa anymore 🙄✋

(Note : i still don't know if this is what they meant . This is just what I think)

Fast forward ..... I was at school. Bored. And i was just reminding my self of my rules bcuz I'm tryna work on my mindset

And just kept on thinking on how fast 3d conforms to the 4d

And i realised it !!!

They were right . The 3d doesn't matter. The 4d is the only reality 😲

Lemme elaborate 🤓

(⚠️ warning I'm kinda bad at explaining things so bear with me 😃)

First things first ,

what is law of assumption?

"an assumption though false if persisted will harden into fact"

So basically if you think it's true , it is

Now let's see what 4d and 3d is ,

4d = inner world (imagination )

3d = our outer world (aka the 'real reality')

So now that's clear let's move on 🚶

Now what if I told yall that 4d and 3d are the same thing 😶‍🌫️

Yup u heard me right .

It's true 🤷

How ???

I'll tell you how .

So basically the 3d mirrors the 4d right ?? It has to . That's the fckin law

That's it's only purpose (and this is why it's stupid to react or give power to 3d )

If it's true in 4d , it's true in 3d

Simple right ? Then why do ppl not get results

Bcuz they think it takes time for 3d to conform

We all know that the 4d is instant. All loa blogs say it

Again, if it's true in 4d it's true in 3d

So , if 4d is instant then 3d is instant

Bcuz 3d only reflects the 4d

This might be confusing 😝

So let's get mathematical 🧑‍🏫

4d = instant

3d = mirrors 4d

So , 3d = instant

Therefore,

(4d = instant)(3d = instant)

4d = 3d (both instant)

Also,

4d is imagination and 3d is the real reality

If 4d = 3d

Then, imagination= real reality

Thus ,

Imagination is the real one not the 3d ✍️

if I have apple 🍎 in 4d i have apple 🍎 in 3d . There is no other option . Loa can't fail .its impossible .

It's just like law of gravity : if something goes up , it comes down

Law of assumption: if it's true in imagination then its true in real life

You don't wait for gravity to work . It comes down just as instant as it went up

If it took 4 secs to go up . It takes 4 secs to come down . Not 5 . Not 10 . 4 !!!!

THERE IS NO FAILURE IN LOA . YOU CANT FAIL . ITS IMPOSSIBLE 🙌

Conclusion

It isn't "the 3d will reflect the 4d"

It's "the 3d reflects 4d"

No will , no going to . It does . That's it

If u say it takes time for 3d to conform it implies that 3d and 4d are 2 different things . It's not .

Persisting doesn't mean think from ur desire 24/7 . It means think of ur desire . Know it's done and move on. Do something else .

Now onto the success story 🥳

(I know a lot y'all looove to read success stories to believe in something. Which is fine ☺️ we all need motivation from time to time . But don't be dependent on them )

Ok so it's kinda "small" success story. But it proves everything i mentioned above so...

Anyway so I was going Back home from school (after this epiphany)and there is this road with a divider thingy so that 4 wheeler vehicles won't come . Anyways it's been removed for a while and i was just thinking

"oh that thing is gone . Hmmm. I guess cars are gonna come on this road "

And in less than 5 seconds a fckin car comes from the opposite side ‼️

And it's no coincidence bcuz my whole life i have NEVER seen a car on that road . Even my mom was like "oh that's weird cars don't come on this road "

So yeah that it .

Read until it sinks in . It could be a lil confusing a first

Or don't if u don't want to . U make the rules . 🙂

Bye babes 😘