#I'm running out of songs

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Five Stages of Mamma Mia

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Catherine Johnson (AKA Catherine Todd) is Jason's bio mom and Jason doesn't know who his father is. He engages in adventures while getting to know the men that could possibly be his biological father. I'm literally about to traumatize Jason within an inch of his life (literally) in the process.

Also, the five stages won't be in order probably because it doesn't have to be. :)

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jason Blood, Catherine Todd Mention, Bruce Wayne, Willis Todd Mention

Relationship(s): Past Catherine Todd/Jason Blood, Past Catherine Todd/Bruce Wayne, Past Catherine Todd/Willis Todd

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Mamma Mia-inspired AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Father-Son Relationship(s), Jason Todd Experiences the Five Stages of Grief

Chapter One: Money, Money, Money (Denial)

Jason didn't go into Catherine's room for days after her passing. It frightened him to think he could go into the room and she wouldn't be there. It was a reality that Jason had to face. So, one night after coming home from the supermarket, he crept into the room. He was never barred from entering her room. It just felt like an intrusion to go in without her being there. The smell of vinegar and burnt plastic filled the room, but Jason was used to it.

He turned the lights on and stared at the suitcase at the foot of the bed. She'd had that bag for as long as he could remember, and he opened the battered leather suitcase. He wiped a few stray tears from his cheeks and swallowed hard. The first thing at the top was a photo of Jason at the zoo. It was one of many photos in the suitcase. Some Jason recognized, and others he didn't. Most of the ones he couldn't identify were from before he was born. Catherine usually dated her pictures, so Jason organized most of them. It kept his mind preoccupied. That way, he didn't have to miss her.

Underneath the first layer of photos was a diary. It was locked, and the leather faded from brick to a washed-out pink. Jason picked it up and held it to his chest. He'd only seen it once. It was Catherine's diary. Jason knew most people in his position would be excited to read their mother's diary, but he couldn't move himself to betray her trust like that. He still thought she'd come back somehow. Maybe it was childish to think she'd come back, but he figured people came back to life in Gotham all the time. For that moment, though, it felt good just to see something of his mother's.

He set the diary aside and continued digging through the suitcase until he found a photograph of a man with sunglasses grinning at a parade. Jason's mother wasn't in the picture, but he knew she had it for a reason. He looked at the back of the photograph for the date and noticed it was a year before he was born. He set it on top of the diary and lit a cigarette. He didn't think much of the picture until he found other photographs of the same man and a photo booth strip of Catherine with him. He wondered if they were in love.

In another set of pictures, though, Catherine was with Bruce Wayne. It was around the same time as the photographs with the other man. There weren't as many pictures of her with him, but she looked so happy.

It made Jason wonder what went wrong. Maybe he was to blame. Jason dumped the ashes on a piece of paper before noticing the ashes burned a hole in the page. "Darn it! Nononono," Jason whispered as he tried to put the page out. Once he managed to stomp it out, he looked at the paper and realized it was his birth certificate. "No," Jason whimpered.

He frowned and took another puff from his cigarette. He promised to kick himself for being so irresponsible later, but for the moment, he decided to finish smoking his cigarette. People usually gave Jason the worst looks when he smoked cigarettes, but they didn't understand the bitter taste of tobacco, and the smoke was well-earned after the stress he endured constantly. He never begged for much of anything and never complained. The cigarettes helped. Hunger, stress, anger? It all melted away with a simple cigarette. Jason decided he'd have to smoke two more to calm himself. Usually, he didn't smoke that much back to back, but things had gotten painfully stressful.

He finished the last three cigarettes in the pack before cleaning up and leaving the room. He tried to cook for himself, but his nerves were shot, and the cupboards were bare. So, Jason decided he'd go to the deli. He had twenty dollars left of their emergency money, and the "classic Italian" was only twelve bucks. Jason climbed out the window and onto the fire escape, involuntarily shivering as the cold air hit him. Jason absentmindedly stepped in blood from a crime scene that'd been left behind overnight. It sent a shiver up his spine, and he pointed his index and pinky fingers downward before wiping the bottom of his shoe against the wall. He didn't know where he learned it, but he knew it was supposed to keep his luck from worsening.

A man ran into him on the sidewalk and nearly knocked him over. "Watch it!" Jason yelled out. The man paid him no mind, and not too long after that, a police officer shoved him out of the way, knocking him to the ground. Jason got up and dusted himself off. "Pig!"

He stepped off the sidewalk and jaywalked to the deli. The man at the deli greeted Jason as soon as he came in. "The regular?" the man asked. Jason grinned and nodded. The deli was one of the safest places in Gotham. It was where his mother sent him most of the time when she had company. It happened a lot, so he and the deli clerk knew each other well. Jason approached the counter and tried to hand the man his twenty. "Figurati. Don't worry about it. How're you feeling?"

"I'm holding up," Jason answered as honestly as he could. "I can pay. I have—."

"No, today you eat for free. I haven't seen you... Is your mama better?" the man asked. Jason shook his head and sharply inhaled before a few tears escaped. He turned to leave out of embarrassment, but the man invited him into the back. The man sat Jason down and fixed his sandwich. "It's alright. Jason, there's no shame in tears. When did it happen?"

"A few days ago," Jason whimpered. He tried desperately to pull himself together as he watched the man work. The man washed his hands and started packing away soups and making sandwiches. "Mr. Bernardi, I can pay you for the sandwich. Really—."

"No," Mr. Bernardi interrupted in a stern tone of voice. It startled Jason, but he did his best to conceal his fear. Mr. Bernardi had a soft heart and a grandfatherly sweetness to him. "When's the last time you ate? Hm? And no lying."

"Two days ago," Jason answered. He bowed his head out of shame.

"Eat," Mr. Bernardi commanded. Jason obeyed. It felt good to have something on his stomach, especially since he ran out of cigarettes. "I don't like that."

Jason looked up and blinked absently, wondering how he'd offended the man. "I don't like when children are hungry. It makes my stomach hurt," Mr. Bernardi chastised Jason. He sighed when he looked at the tears welling up in Jason's eyes. "Here." Mr. Bernardi handed Jason a can of rootbeer.

Jason felt like he'd give way to tears at any moment, so he thanked Mr. Bernardi and got up to leave. Mr. Bernardi whispered something to one of his employees and she offered Jason a ride back to his apartment. Jason opened his mouth to turn them down, but he knew it was no use arguing with Mr. Bernardi.

Jason got in the backseat and the woman put a large order in the passenger's seat. She didn't say much. "Bernardi doesn't like a lot of people, but he likes you. He says you remind him of himself when he was growing up in Italy," she whispered.

Jason was too emotional to speak still, so he stared out the window. When they got to his apartment they both got out of the car and she said she needed to deliver an order in his building. They went in the front entrance and climbed up to his floor. He had an uneasiness in his chest that was confirmed when the woman handed him the large bag filled with food. "Bernardi wants you to take it... It's not charity, and he'll be offended if you send me back with it," she whispered. Jason thanked her and rushed into his apartment where he could cry without being looked at.

At least he wouldn't have to sleep on an empty stomach.

[cosmicdreamgrl]

seokjin x chokers for @epiphanytear [ cr: apple tape, 0613data, namuspromised ]

[spidertams]

So I flee the mosh pit and I find you in the back, dance with me now 🎶

[lee-luca]

Hetalia World Stars: Singapore

Happy 59th birthday :)

[vulpinesaint]

Venom + Kissing Death by MOTHICA

[shirozora-draws]

It's WHAT day today!? Not me already feeling weird about working on two sketches to post the same weekend as that sketch I posted for the first time in months only to find out that Today is the Two Year Anniversary of The Day Dinluke Took Over My Brain.

(It's not 12AM yet, this still counts as a 12/18 post)

Anyway.

Been dying to do some nice proper "the staircase fic is firmly on my mind" sketches. This version of Luke actually shows up later in the fic and the shape/cut/color of his robes are also influenced by Padme's wardrobe. Din's look has appeared on this blog before and is super duper influenced by what we saw of Aq Vetina's residents in the flashback scenes. The, uh, holocron plays a smaller part than it looks but I bought a holocron at Disneyland and wanted to have fun with my new reference.

Have I posted about the staircase fic on the art blog? It is live and currently posting as Gravity Well on AO3.

[maulfucker]

So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)

[userparamore]

RUNNING OUT OF TIME | PARAMORE nashville, tn | feb. 6th

(x)

[astrangerlately]

some userboxes made from bleachers lyrics that are kind of haunting

[ourpretender]

i still have drafts & memes & sideblog threads to do but i am both a glutton for punishment as well as a hoarder for new (and old) interactions so — like for a short (approx. 1-2 sentences) starter !!

[anders-hawke]

‘cause all i want is to be loved and all i care about is you

“tattoo” by Loreen

[somestreptomyces]

~I'm running with the wolves tonight~

[bittersweetresilience]

say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess

cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you

and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while

don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing

so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake

and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think

so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today

[fritzes]

Jannik Sinner // "Young Volcanoes" by Fall Out Boy

[brainrotcharacters]

"Mutiny" or as I'd like to call it "Say It Ain't So"