#I'm really proud of my art but there are some really good entries

[stab-at-me]

The winner for this art contest I entered is announced tomorrow and I want to vomit

[sawnickrings]

2024 art recap

My favorite piece from each month! I can't say I've grown much over the past year, but perhaps a little. Open the post to see my reflection on each piece. 💙

Tw for first two months mentions of $H

January

This was the only thing I could find from January, since my old phone got busted and all the dates on my photos got messed up. But luckily I really like it anyway so I guess it's my favorite of the month by default! During this time I was still battling with s3lf harm and so this character was supposed to represent that. Yes it's edgy, no I wouldn't have picked this one if I had any other image from January. This one was also very experimental, I've used this brush a grand total of 1 time other than this one. I felt it fit the aesthetic.

February

Again, this period was sort of like the dark ages in the fact that most of my images got screwed with after switching phones, so I don't have many drawings that I know were from February. However, this one again is a favorite of mine in general so it's not so bad. This is the only other time I used that brush. I also created this character as a sort of way to cope with my s3lf harm urges, except she's far older than the last one. This image doesn't feature it, but they have lots of scars and often open/bandaged self-inflicted wounds due to how their power works, which is blood manipulation. Again, edgy as all get-out.

March

I'm not super happy with some aspects of this but I worked really hard on it. This is a character of mine that I didn't design but still cherish lots. Her name is Coralina or just Coral for short. You'll see her again soon.

April

Once again I could not find much for April, but luckily I remembered that I did a bunch of chalk stuff at a school event that month and this one is both relevant to my blog and one of my favorites. I did a good ring too but that's in a different image.

May

This was something I designed as a contest entry that I don't believe I won so as far as I know it's my character now. I think the spots on the tail clash with the gradient but oh well.

June

There were a lot of good options for this month since I got back into commissions and art trades, but there's something about this one that I especially like. It's not fancy or anything but it showcases my style well.

July

Artfight season! Surprisingly this wasn't an attack but rather a character I made specifically for Artfight. They're based off of Miracle Musical's album Hawaii: Part II. I'm really proud of the design but I haven't really done anything with him since besides a couple drawings.

August

Here she is again! I used this image a lot to show an example of my work when offering art trades. I think I made it with that in mind? It's hard to remember. But anyway, here she is again! Plus one of my sonas, Pop Rocks!! I love her to bits. I originally made her as an adoptable that I traded to someone else, but I regretted it later and luckily my friend got her back for me! I have so many drawings of that little goofball but this is my favorite.

September

There are absolutely parts of this that suck balls but there are parts that I really like too. And I remember enjoying drawing it. This was for an art trade.

October

During this time I made matching bust drawings of all the 10 main characters from my comic. (calling it a comic is a bit of a stretch, I only have 2 chapters drawn and it's been well over a year (maybe two?) since I've touched those pages) Although I've made next to no progress on actual pages, I draw the characters often and love them with all my heart. I especially like how this one turned out.

November

At the time of drawing this I hadn't practiced drawing ferals in ages, so I was very worried about the result, but it turned out better than I could have imagined! This was another art trade, and I love the character design so much!!

December

And now we're here! I've been doing more scenes recently with my fanart, but I just love how Sonic turned out in this one so I had to include it. It almost doesn't look like my art, though the hands give it away. At first I wasn't impressed with how Shadow was looking but it's grown on me. ❤️🖤

[cazzyf1]

Wolfgang von Trips teenage opinion on WW2

When I read over his diaries a few months ago one entry that stuck out to me was one where he went to see a war film in the cinema and then wrote down his feelings on what had happened in the war, his feelings about Germany, and his feelings about the army. I found it interesting because I had never read a German's perspective on it before and it was a unique read. So when rereading his diary I decided when I came to this entry I'd write it up and publish it for anyone else curious about what his teenage opinions were.

Reminder that this was written when Wolfgang von Trips was in prime teenage angst and still struggled to understand and cope with the effects of growing up in the war and almost dying a few times. As he got older he was determined to try and restore Germany's good reputation, especially with cars and was good friends with very patriotic Brits.

(Translated from German to English via a translator)

October 14, 1947, Tuesday

I haven't been OK for days. I had a very bad cold, it's better now, but I still have a lot of pressure above my left eye. I'm worried about inflammation in my sinus. I want to do some serious inhalation. Maybe it will clear up after all.

I was just at the cinema. English film, typically English. They showed the victory celebration. It makes you feel awfully different when you see how our defeat is celebrated. How we fought and yet we were ruined. The film and everything else took me back to a time a few years ago when we were (at least from my point of view) a people who stuck together, were honest and fought, when as a boy I was enthusiastic about everything and proud when our planes came, saw nothing bad in anything. During the war I didn't see anything bad about the war itself either. (Today I have a different opinion.) But I was still capable of enthusiasm and when one day, after a long time spent at the school camp, I saw German tanks and planes in the newsreel for the first time, I cried with excitement or pride. It was an indefinable feeling. And now it's all over. Forever. Never, never again will we carry weapons, soldiers.

Everything is bad, mean and vile, what was previously an ideal and a model. Never again will I be able to freely and truly choose. I know today, and I fully understand, that one can what used to be my highest ideal was actually not quite right. But I still mourn all of it because it will never come back and there is no replacement for it. And when I compare my thoughts from back then with those of today, ideals, goals, plans, I can't describe it like that.

I still remember exactly how, during the Jabo era, I once thought to myself: I can still picture the moment - what do you do when no more bombs are falling, no more Jabos are coming, and no more anti-aircraft guns are firing?

I thought that I must be missing something that was almost vital to my life, so it had all become my world. Today I realise that this is really something that can be rejected with normal common sense, not wrongly influenced by time, and knows it too. But the fact that I have directed all my childish and youthful - certainly not small - enthusiasm towards something that is now over forever makes me very sad. How well could something else have taken its place? something of lasting value, art, music, or for that matter, something technical. Then I wouldn't feel like I'm in such a topsy-turvy world today. I see it in other boys. For them, it doesn't mean as much as it does for me. They just didn't rely on it like I did and it was just a side issue, annoying side effect for them. Unfortunately, I'm a bit stuck now, I keep looking from one thing to the other, I just can't settle down anywhere. The contradictions in which I live and those around me are too great. I don't really know where I belong, I'm also missing the right friend, I'm missing Rudolf von Marsewsky.

It's all rubbish, damn it! The time is over, all the ideals destroyed, but if I'm honest with myself, my pure reason tells me that everything was just right, war, violence and power and so on.

I see it very differently today, but deep down I say it was beautiful and powerful and definitely better than this filth today. It's a shame that I can't really express my thoughts so that I can record them for later. Because I'm sure I'll change somehow and it'll be interesting to see what it would be like now if I still had something like that from the war or before. But I have it a little different in my head than I can express it here.

Sometimes, like now, I remember the past. Then the whole time comes back to me and I start to compare and a train of thought arises like this one. (Usually it is a conversation, a film or something else that triggers it.) And when I think about freedom, about my real life as a boy, with shooting, riding, hunting, also Hitler Youth service and military training in the mountains, our conversations and thoughts at the time and the feeling I had when I thought about the Air Force and my future, and now I think about the fact that this kind of feeling of happiness can never arise in me again because there simply can't be any reason for it anymore, then I could cry.

I haven't been aware of all this for a long time. Simply because I haven't thought about it that much. Writing it all down is partly a mental aid. It helps me get deeper into something than if I just think about it.

I was just counting the pages and had to laugh at myself. I could spend hours pondering about some of the things that usually bother me. But I want to stop for today, maybe tomorrow or soon if I get into a strange mood again (it's just the film's fault).

[prettyflyshyguy]

Hi everyone I survived my big trip for the miniature convention/painting competition and it was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster (for me) cause the category I entered (Standard & Masters were the options, I entered my work in Standard) was really tough in the end and the judging did not hold back. This was terrifying. I got to chat and get crit from the judges which was awesome, and the turnout of models was incredible. I'm really proud of how I did in the end. Anyway quick trip highlights:

The National Dinosaur museum was incredible. I spammed my insta stories with pics and when we arrived at the event a bunch of friends were like "hey did you enjoy the museum :^)" like SHUT UP

The event had a bunch of wargames tournaments on and the map had some questionable names attached to the zones/rooms things were held in.

I won a silver and bronze in standard for two out of four of my entries, and I won a fucking airbrush in the lucky dip prizes (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so overall: it was a good weekend.

I'm back to feeling weird and nebulous again so I'm gonna try and fight that best I can by getting back on track -- I've got to prep for KAICON MELB in one and a half weeks, and I've got to make new stuff including those inFAMOUS charms I promised SO.

The to-do is looking like this currently:

-highest priority is make Cole MacGrath double sided charm design and throw up pre-orders

-Maybe make a last-minute sticker design for kaicon melb

-I've got to make sticker rally art for MelbNova in a few months

-I've got to also make new designs for MelbNova (in association with the sticker rally) - current top ideas are something spyro related and something sonic related

The grind to make myself a happier, more fruitful life in selling my art never stops.

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog 36 | 11.26.23 ๋࣭⭑

:rises from the dead: I'm.... BAAAAACK!!!!!!

Long time, no talk (kinda) everyone! I hope you've been happy, healthy, and well since we last saw each other and that the wind-down for the year is being kind to you all <3

We have a lot to catch up on, so let's do just that ^^ This is.... so long. I'm really sorry in advance tbh---I thought I hadn't done much because break, but there's quite a bit to show.

It's been a while since a formal update on the routes, so I'll start by telling you all where they officially stand. Before I do, it might be helpful to tell you all how I define percentage completion in my head. Basically, when I finish the draft of a route, I consider it 70% complete. This means I could ship it as is. I wouldn't be happy with the product, but it's playable and makes enough sense---just not the best quality.

When Wudgey finishes their edits, a route is 80%-85% complete, meaning I could ship it as is. I think it'd be pretty good actually and players would be happy. Beyond this point, I am just making fine tuning edits to incorporate more player interaction, polishing the flow of things, etc.

After that, there's basically only Elm and Vi's edits left. When Elm finishes, a route is 95% complete. Again, I think at this point, it's good. Like edits from this point onwards are purely for polishing purpose. After Vi, it's 98% complete. Then the last review comes back to Elm and I for it to be 100% complete. Right now, this is where the routes stand:

Kayn: 98% Complete

Fenir: 95% Complete

Druk: 80% Complete

Etza: 60% Complete (Still working on their draft!)

Do Not ask me about Kuna'a or Aisa LFMASOEIDJ

So most of the routes are actually looking pretty good! They're just getting bounced around to different editors at this point, but the changes made for most of them are basically small. Fenir and Kayn especially could be shipped as is in my eyes if I really wanted to.

Art recently has mostly been focused on commissions. Vui actually is almost done with ALL of the BGs for Alaris!! Isn't that crazy?? In about a year, he was able to create almost 25 BGs with daytime variations!!! He's a phenomenal artist, and I couldn't be happier to be working with him. It's also a bit bittersweet (and alarming??) to know that part of development is already close to ending! q.q

The most exciting art update I have is that we got the GUI assets finished and I've started coding them into the game!! AAAA!! These were the final updated assets I needed, and seeing the fully revamped demo come to life has been so.... Emotional HAHA! It's crazy to see how far Alaris has come from when I was first making it with my little fingies and throwing things together like paper mache. I'm incredibly in love with how all the assets look together, and I couldn't be more grateful for the artists who helped me update the assets!

Updated History Log. Please say you like the dividers between entries---I'm most proud of those

I'm still making my way through coding everything, but here's a couple screen previews so you all can see how things now look in the game!!

First off, is the Dialogue/Choice Screen. You can see that we have a brand new dialogue box (She's Stunning) and Choice Screen! I'm hoping to add some sfx for the choices when you hover over them, and sfx for the new UI in general so there's more user feedback when you click and hover on things. But for now, enjoy this preview of the new dialogue box, choice screen, and the new personality indicators!

Updated Dialogue/Choice Screen: You can't see it as well in GIF format, but the BG also has particles floating around, so there's a tiny bit of animation going on in some of the BGs as well!!

Next, we have the Free Time Screen. I actually posted this on Twitter recently but I don't think I posted it on Tumblr! ISN'T SHE STUNNING... ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BGS.... I'm especially happy with the text animations that show up at the bottom when you hover over the different choices! I was inspired by a couple other devs (specifically GUI god, @siyo-koy, and renpy animation master @just-a-carrot) to start incorporating animation style elements into my GUI. And I really like how it adds a little ~something~ to the feel of everything ^^

Updated Free Time Screen: begging someone to say they like the text animation so I feel validated for finangling with it

Finally, for our last preview, we have the Save Screen! While it looks new obviously with the new assets, I also did a lot of backend coding revamping for how it actually functions since my coding experience is a bit better now compared to when I was first fighting for my life figuring out save/load screens. The biggest change for you all is that there are now chapter markers so save slots will tell you what chapter that save file is from! And instead of screenshots, it's now a custom icon inside that shows the chapter card. I think it'll make the save screen look more cohesive now and hopefully more intuitive as well!!

Updated Save Screen: With a sprinkle of updated Chapter Card screen preview

That was long. Are any of us surprised, considering I had two months' worth of devlogs piled inside of me, begging to burst from the seams?

Anyways. Only two miscellaneous updates. One is that all soundtracks have been completed for Alaris! Peter finished the last of them recently, and they're all beautiful!!! For ppl who love piano soundtracks... :holds hand in piano lover solidarity:

Other update is that I finally fixed that godforsaken sprite bug that was associated with the energy vision feature from the demo!!! FINALLY!!! AFTER.... SO LONG. Extremely huge thanks to @robobarbie for taking time out of their day to do that; everyone please say thank you!!!!! OGs know how long that bug was bothering me!!!! Robo also gave me a pretty new rain code, so I'm showing you how both look in the new demo so you can appreciate them with me!!

Last miscellaneous update is more on a.... logistical development level?? Basically, now that I have new GUI assets to code, that means I can get a beta build of the routes currently written out. I was feeling really overwhelmed by that idea because most of this year has been focused on writing and making assets, not really coding. Knowing that I can Code and get Playable Builds out to people was stressful because I have to divvy up my time a bit more.

After an extremely insightful talk with beloved and admired Esh of @steamberrystudio I decided I'm probably going to be shifting how development goes from here on out. Instead of focusing head low on getting as many words written for the remaining routes everyday, I'm going to be making smaller but consistent progress and spend the rest of my time coding so that I can have more of a continuous cycle of production going on (e.g., writing a bit, making playable builds, gathering playtester feedback, etc. instead of doing each stage in blocked, sequential order).

I'm mainly telling you all this because it means writing updates will probably seem slower from this point on, but I think production overall will be more efficient because of it! This is also exciting news for playtesters and/or early access backers/patrons because it means you'll have playable content in the near future for content outside of just the demo :')

have u all heard of wudgeous of herotome. of course u have. they r all i talk about at this point

No market research because I've actually been addicted to BG3 LFMAOLSDJF. Actually, I'm taking some inspiration from it for the personality mechanic but eh.

On a more important note, @herotome demo is coming out December 2nd!!!! PLAY IT WITH ME. Wudgey is my editor, so you might think I'm biased but I'M NOT!!! I WAS A FAN OF HEROTOME BEFORE WUDGEY EVEN WORKED W ME!!! They have an exception eye for detail and player experience, and they are actually one of the devs that inspired me to even get into game development.

I just know the demo is going to blow everyone's socks off. OG Herotome prologue build fans know exactly what I'm talking about. Please mark December 2nd on your calendar---you will not regret it.

This was so unbelievably long, but I hope it's appreciated since there was no real devlog update for a hot minute. As always, Thank you all for your patience and continued support. With the year ending soon, I'm getting wrapped up in my feels in usual Crescence fashion. I am a Cancer so no one is surprised.

Next month will probably be more of an end-of-year devlog rather than the usual format. I know the devlogs of late have been all over the place, but once we get into the new year, it will be back to business as usual! Hope you all have a wonderful end to your year; I'll talk to you soon! <3

[chronotopes]

2024 creative/personal writing wrapped

and yes i'm proud enough of my escaprils that i'm going to list a lot of them individually. sorry.

(2023) (2022) (2021) (2020) (2019)

FICTION

Aivide the Prequel. You know her you love her I FINISHED HER THIS YEAR!!!!! It's my only completed public facing version all-OC story even if it's not 100% original fiction, and I'm still so proud and fond of it and excited to continue the story one day in whatever form that takes. This year I finished chapters 5 and 6 for a total of 73,000 words.

Vital Light. You know her, you don't know that much about her, Aivide the Prequel's more embarrassing and earnest younger/older sister. For those new: a revision of a novel from 2016 which is in itself a revision of a collaborative story from (shudders) 2012. Yes I'm insane for attempting it but also yes I feel like I've learned a lot and working on it tends to tangibly improve my life. The mess of excessively wordy first draft writing I did this year totals at just over 90,000 words.

NONFICTION

A lot of my essays this year were escapril prompts, which is a challenge meant for poetry that I cheerfully reinterpreted to be about creative nonfiction instead. Wild success!! Really excited to do it next year!! Ok let's list some essays, with the ones I think are strongest/most editable bolded. They are not going to have word counts because I Don't Feel Like It.

"Change of State," an essay about moving to Maryland.

"The Internet," a kind of underdeveloped use of paleontology as metaphor for growing up.

"Eye contact," an essay about my dynamics with my mother and my girlfriend as well as the concept of 'attention.'

"Trip," revisiting a formative camping adventure with my childhood best friends, who perhaps predictably emerged as a reocurring theme in this project.

"Spiral," an essay about my nichely significant great-grandfather and his war stories of dubious veracity.

"A childhood memory (catholic school gymnasiums)," which is the first essay of mine that mentions Jenny's siblings by name! About going to Easter Mass with her family and, relatedly, visiting your loved ones' childhood spaces.

"Portrait," about augustine and i being in gay love with each other in seventh grade art class.

"What's the truth?", about my own renegotiations of my senior year of college social fallouts.

"Bad Habit," about reading strangers' wedding websites.

"Fog," about New Year's Eve 2022 with Jenny.

"Posture," which is me in senior year of high school and the act of posturing, as I had already covered the Reprimands From My Mother in "eye contact" and had nothing to say about the concept of standing up straight.

"Oh, the light!", which I would never title an essay independently but is functionally just a longer expression of that one jesse pinkman image captioned 'how it feels to be in a transitional state'.

"Purr," about one of my friends' cats as metonym for grief.

"A recurring dream," honestly one of the weakest ones, but it's once again about my fall 2022-spring 2023 experience and the weirdness of it all.

"Beach," about visiting Esther in Florida for the first time and about my larger-scale relationship with the ocean.

"So embarrassing..., or (BEING NOTES TO MYSELF AS 2014 TURNED TO 2015)", or exactly what it sounds like.

"Truth," a sequel to "What's the truth?" that is also about Esther and Julia's wedding.

"Suspended in Air," about going to Harper's Ferry and loving my wife so much it's unreal.

"A reminder:", a total nothingburger of an essay. Essay that could have been a diary entry.

"Moth," a vivid little image of summer in Southeast Virginia as written by someone who's about to move out of there for good.

"The problem of death." Escapril prompts are really on the nose sometimes, huh? I like the central metaphor in this essay that is, in fact, about death, which involves Star Trek Two The Wrath of Khan of all things.

"Desire," about seeing myself in the end of Twelfth Night.

"Simulation," about roleplayed love confessions with Augustine.

"Unexpected Transmission," about the night I found out my boss died.

"Dark Secret," about my relationship to romantic love, especially the unrequited kind.

"Modernity," about fall 2020, taking Women and Modernism while developing my own writing fascinations with the contemporary literary micro-movements of beautiful women and theys on the internet

"The absolute limit," double essay about Reconciliation Dreams Involving The Ex-Bestie.

"Surgery," vaguely hermit-crab style set of annotated recent google searches. About budgeting and planning for the future jinxing and to a certain extent literal surgery. By far one of the strongest concepts here.

"How to exist," another Essay That Could Have Been A Diary Entry maybe but has some good prose. These last two are kind of a culmination of Personal Processes i was going through in this set of thirty essays, in which i took an artistic spin to things that had been too fucked up to write about artistically in years past.

"Tomorrow," about the month of May and my history of planning for it / of grand turnarounds occurring at the end of spring.

There were some non-escapril ones too (okay actually most of them were inspired by past escapril prompts but pretty loosely)

"Visions of the Future," about imagining my future self.

"Myopia in seventh-grade notebooks," which takes a classic trick in adapting a poem from the past into an essay.

"Eavesdropping," the product of my biannual process of rereading all of my past messages with my dead friend and wanting to kick my own ass about it all.

"Attention," about the complicated metaphysics of returning to your hometown.

POETRY

"Tampa," which engages with and somewhat ties up the Ancient Katia Tradition of writing poetry on planes titled after the destination.

An uninterestingly titled anniversary poem for jenny :)

"Pine Pollen," about how (elizabeth stokes voice) i can close the door on us but the room still exists and i know you're in it

FINAL THOUGHTS

I usually do goofy superlatives for these, but instead here are some coherent thoughts about what I think I accomplished as a writer this year and what I think I'd like to work on in the coming year. First, some strengths of this year:

I still have a lot of work to continue, but writing from prompts was wildly helpful in my efforts to formulate interesting and stylistically mature shortform creative nonfiction. Writing event-first is horrible for me and writing Spontaneous Connection-first is great when it can happen but can't be forced. Being forced to contemplate how 'so embarrassing' or whatever could most interestingly be applied to cnf kind of helped me break that barrier, which I am very grateful for. I covered a lot of new ground and revisited some old ground in an interesting way, and though the above essay list is a collection of first drafts and experiments, I'm very happy with what I gained from it.

It was wildly satisfying to finish revising Aivide and bring it to a satisfying conclusion. I still have to go back and do some smaller-scale line editing on it, and it would be a much better overall product if it was plotted and rewritten in 2023-2024 from start to finish, but Aivide the prequel also wouldn't exist without me-from-2021, so it would be very dumb to not give them significant credit. In 2024 I wrote some of the parts of this novel that are the most special to me and reflect the things I love about writing fiction most closely. It's not without its flaws, but I'm still wildly proud of it and think you (yes, you!) should read it if you like loosely-homestuck-connected science fiction or toxic homoerotic girl best friends.

It was also very rewarding to return to Vital Light, which was kind of my Shrek last year in the Prince of Egypt/Shrek analogy that I love applying to my own writing, and find that I was capable of writing Characters And Plots That Interest And Compel Me with stories other than Aivide. Vital Light is still categorized as 'the silly one' in my head, but there are at least invididual parts of it that register to me as meaningful and interesting and I think pursuing the whole project is Teaching Me New Things About Being A Writer, which is the key part.

I think for a lot of college I would make resolutions along the lines of 'this is the year I finally get published!' and would scrutinize all my non-fanfiction out-of-class writing as A Journey To Getting Published while doing nothing on the get published front because litmag submissions are the job applications of writing and we all know how much I hate doing either of those things until actively forced to. Both 'somewhat goofy prompts' and 'deep structural revision of The Novel That Owned My Soul In High School' are good exposure therapy for writing to learn, to tell myself a story, to try something and see if it works, rather than to publish.

In this coming year some of the main things I would really like to do are – 

To gather up the strength for confident and well-considered worldbuilding and get comfortable with reading lots of nonfiction to get a comfortable knowledge base in areas relevant to my subject

To write or conceptualize at least one story (it can be shortform, though shortform is its own uphill battle for me lol) starring a character or universe that did not exist before 2025,

To progress my shortform nonfiction into workable longform nonfiction,

To take at least one local writing class, not so much because I think Classes are really missing from my life but because meeting people who write and are local to you is an interesting and productive part of writing and living in a place, even if they are not interested in the same things you are and do not necessarily share an artistic ethos with you

I am not going to resolve to Submit To More Litmags because I know the kind of doomspiral that instills in me and it is also not terribly important to me right now. But I think I do want to critically examine Types Of Making Your Writing Public and explore the ones I'm comfortable with, as well as observing the mechanisms behind that comfort. Pivotally I also want to read more widely and consistently, including shortform stuff (collective BOO from the crowd!) (i'm the crowd.). First and foremost, I want to continue reading and writing from a place of pleasure and curiosity and exploration – with the obvious disclaimer that 'pleasure' does not mean Reading The Easiest Or Most Feel Good Thing, there is pleasure to be found in new and challenging things and good prose and meeting challenges – because I think that is the best way to do interesting things and never kill yourself.

[xxfangirl365xx]

Kobra Kid's answer to : "What is a day you'll never forget?"

Written in my wattpad a few months ago, i posted Jet's here so I'm doing Kobra's too (: enjoyyyy

Mines nothing in comparison to Jet's. I'm gonna go with a nice one. I'm not huge on being sentimental but the day Poison won a bunch of awards for his art in a zone wide exhibit was a great day.

It was mid July 2017. Girl had just come to live with us maybe a month earlier. We had gotten word about a big exhibit that was gonna happen in zone five. Poison had always been a bit of an artist and that's what he always wanted to do with his life before BL/I. He tried to keep his skill sharp in the zones but with limited supplies it was really hard. Honestly it made me really sad to see his dreams crushed. We had been trying to convince him to enter for several days before he gave in. He painted and drew all sorts of things. Scenery, people, emotions...it was really cool. We drove out to zone five and he submitted almost a dozen pieces. We walked around to look at the other entries while they were being judged.

" I wish I hadn't done this." He whined

" Why?" Jet asked

" Because...Look at this stuff... Mine's nothing like theirs." he said sadly gesturing to all the colorful papers and canvas spread out around him.

" Oh stop it." Jet said playfully smacking him

" Your stuff is way better, Pois." Ghoul said trying to cheer him up

" If I were a judge I wouldn't even bother looking at the rest of this stuff. Yours is clearly the best." He finished

" Mmm."Poison said, still not buying it.

" It's really good." Girl said running up next to the red head.

" You're an amazing art dude." She said smiling

He smiled at her, " Thank you Missile." He said bending over to give her a hug.

We all kinda separated and walked around separately but I stayed with my brother.

We walked quietly for a while just looking at the many painted and pastel cacti and sunsets... I'm not an expert but it seemed a little generic to me. I could tell he was getting sadder by the second feeling so much more inferior to the more established artists. Poison has always lacked self confidence in everything. His appearance,personality, skills. And he shouldn't feel bad because he's a unique human being and that's something to be proud of.

Poison sighed.

" You know even if you don't win I'm still proud of you Pois." I said

" You should save the pride for something worth it." He said sadly looking at a charcoal sketch of yet another cactus.

" Nope. I'm still proud of you. And I always will be no matter what you do." I said again.

"..."

" Alright Poison. Enough self pity. Look at this stuff. It's all the same thing. Sunsets and cactus. Boring bland colors and no emotion behind it right?" I asked

" I mean...sorta."

" And you put thought and emotion into your stuff. Colors and variation. "

" Thats-"

" Let me put it this way." I interrupted turning to face him.

" These guys may have some talent and knowledge for sure. They have no creativity to back it up. It's just knowledge.It's kinda like how most people can write...but only a few people can ACTUALLY write, and have a story to tell or a message to get across." I finished. He thought for a second.

" So please...don't be down on yourself for having something a lot of people can only dream of. Both knowledge AND creativity." I said, pulling him into a tight hug.

He hugged me back and I could feel him release all the tension in his body.

" Thanks Kobra." He said

" Anytime. "

*STATIC*

"WILL PARTY POISON PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE JUDGES TABLE AT THIS TIME" a loudspeaker screeched out

" I saw a flash of fear in my brother's eyes.

" relax. You got this alright?" I said

" Yeah... " He said walking away. He looked back at me and I gave him a thumbs up.

I found Jet, Ghoul and Girl.

" Why did they want Poison?" Ghoul asked

" Dunno..." I responded.

*STATIC*

"WINNERS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED AT THE JUDGES TABLE! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED THIS YEAR AND WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN NEXT YEAR!"

They went to the front as they were instructed and saw Poison grinning ear to ear with all his colorful creations displayed hung with diy ribbon's. He ran up to us and immediately hugged me.

" Thank you for always believing in my Kobra." He whispered

" Anytime." I said

He was wearing a scratched and chipped gold metal with the engraving of " Track and Field champions" crossed out with a sharpie to read " Reigning Zone art champion."

Everyone hugged and congratulated him. He picked up Missile Kid and spun her around while she laughed.

" I told you you'd win!" she exclaimed.

I Know it's nothing I really did but I'm still proud of my big brother for everything he has done and has yet to do. He's been competing and winning competitions all over the Zones ever since and I'm so happy to see him being what he always wanted to be.

Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble,

Kobra Kid out

[rustedbread]

Welcome to my page, let's start out with the rules around here!

DNI if you fall under any of these categories proshipper, support proshippers, support transphobia and general LGBTphobia, support Zionism, and if all else fails I reserve the right to block you if I do not gauge you as someone who should be in my life. I'm 15 so please, for all that could ever be worth it, don't act weird to me It's absolutely fine to interact with me when you're bored, hell, I encourage it! I enjoy talking to people alot, so fairly, if I enjoy your company, I'll appreciate it [likely factor, you'll have to message first, I don't message all too much]

Some of my interests include, Cyberpunk 2077, Baldur's Gate 3, really just the entirety of most fantasy settings, VR, DDLC, Undertale, Deltarune, Ultrakill, Helldivers 2, Gravity Falls, and fairly that's most of all I can recall I'm very multitalented, Art being roughly something I'm the most confident with, my writing is pretty good! I do recommend to read some of it, I'm proud of it, personally, music is another thing, but I haven't worked on that in a hell of a while, so I'm not confident with that! oh and if I ever seem overconfident, trust that it is way overblown my ego might be a bit too large than needed, but I don't genuinely see myself as above anyone most of the time I REALLY don't know how to just, yknow, and properly define myself, this is fairly a good baseline, but in no way could ever encapsulate me fully as a person. [really just as a fun fact, whenever you see me write in brackets, it's usually an action or some type of tone] [[and the more entries I put in brackets, the more bracket's I'll add on]] [[[no I don't know where I got this from]]] [[[[it's mine, don't steal it!!!!!!]]]] [[[[[or do, I can't command you, now can I?]]]]]

[snowbellewells]

1-6, 22, 42&43, and finally 50 for the Fanfic Authors Game. Thank you, ma’am!!

Oh Krystal @kmomof4 this took me a minute, but I'm so glad you sent asks - I haven't done any ask games for a while, and I always find them fun. Thanks for your interest (and I'll be sending some back your way! ;p)

1- What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

My first fic was probably a PaceyxJoey revamp/divergence of the Dawson's Creek Season 1 finale. I had only recently even discovered that fanfiction existed, and everyone else I knew was convinced that I was crazy for thinking Pacey and Joey had the romantic chemistry rather than Dawson and Joey. Anyway, the fic was largely a way for me to vent my frustration and play out my vision of things. I'm not even sure there is still an existing copy of it today there, whether I would want to read it or not!

2 - What's your most recent fic and how far do you think you've come?

My most recent fic is my second entry for the @cssns24 event "For All Life and For All Time" (a Dracula AU). I'd really like to think that I've come a fair way in dramatic and atmospheric writing, as well as just writing a cute little love story for smiles. Though there is nothing wrong with fluff, I've been labeled as sweet for quite some time, so trying to add a bit more edge or danger and darkness to my works is a continual growing process, and one that I hope shows in this newest one as I go along.

3 - In your opinion, what's your best fic?

Goodness, I feel like that is a really hard question, K! I don't tend to feel like I really have a "best of" the way some of my favorite writers do. (For some reason it feels presumptuous when speaking of my own work) I do have ones I am more attached to or was more emotionally invested in writing, but I don't know if that makes them the "best" or not. I guess I might say "Tasting Forever" if pressed. It had such an incredible response when I first posted it - so far beyond what I had expected, and I am pretty proud of it when I look back at it.

4 - In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what's your most popular fic?

Without looking to make sure, I would say probably "Tasting Forever" (see above) is one of the most popular, if not the most. It was at one time, at any rate. Before that one was written/posted, it was probably the two part "Under the Weather" which I wrote around the season three timeframe in the show, and was basically an excuse to have Emma take care of a sick Killian and hurry up and admit her feelings as well. The only other contender would be my first true CS/OuaT MC "I'd Know You Anywhere" which had Emma as a witness to a murder and Killian and Ruby as FBI agent partners assigned to protect her and Henry.

5 - Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I realize that this fic is incredibly niche and not many will ever read it, because it is not strictly CS (though they are supporting characters) and it's not even about a popular side pairing, but my BellexLiam short MC "Looking for a Heart (that's not Walking Away)" is one that I still read and smile about. I had a lot of fun imagining how I should characterize both Belle and Liam more fully and with the storyline itself. I am still really pleased with how it turned out and it's close to my heart, and the ending makes me grin happily whenever I reread it. I love it even more since @hollyethecurious created cover art for it as well.

I also feel that way about "A Year in the Court of Misthaven" (especially the first chapter with the Yule Ball) It just makes me grin imagining it. :)

6 - Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Weirdly, since it's one of my more popular fics with other people, I have some embarrassment over "I'd Know You Anywhere". There are parts of it that I like and feel as though they turned out quite well, but there are also parts that seem rushed to me in hindsight, or plot holes, anomalies, and deadends that don't make sense. Maybe I'm being overly self-critical, but I feel like I could do a better job of it now than I did then.

22- Has there ever been anyone who's made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Oh yes, for sure! I won't try to list too many specific names, because I feel like I'd be bound to leave someone out, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel like their kind words and love weren't appreciated. Every single reblog, like, or comment is such a boost and huge compliment to me!! I will say though, that whenever someone 2who I regularly read and whose writing I admire takes the time to read something of mine, I am incredibly gratified and flattered.

And I doubt anyone who has received them would deny that your (yes, you, K!) real-time flails as you read are some of the best mood lifters and ego boosters in the world!!

42- How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

I'm going to guess this means on AO3? Are "Hits" the same thing as "Views"? Since that seems the most likely, that's what I'm going with here - Hits on AO3, in which case the one with the most is "A Cottage by the Sea" with 1,767 hits.

43 - Your least popular?

That would be my Ruby-centric OuaT one shot "Always Running" with just 46 hits (or views?)

50 - Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it's entirely positive?

Other than the amount of stress I put on myself when I can't update as quickly as I like or fear people may not like my newest post or addition, yes, I would say fanfic has been almost an entirely positive experience.

It's had a huge impact on me: it's kept me writing even as I've become an adult and had to get a "real job" to pay the bills. It's kept alive a show I adored, even though it's been off the air for someone six or seven years. Most of all, it has brought me some of the best friends in fellow fic writers that I have ever had! That last one in itself is one of the most incredible blessings I could imagine!!

[wytfut]

A good man....

I've held off on this posting/entry for quite a while. Mostly because I don't want my tumblr account to become an obituary. Not knowing what else to do, onward I go.

Sadly yes, this is another passing of life.... and I cannot help myself from writing this entry.

Josh my youngest may very well not agree with me doing this.... and I apologize, but this person deserves at least this.

Kyle Fessler... as a grown ass man, was the best. Stand up. Honest. Respectful. Always ready for anything related to hunting/fishing, etc. Often going by himself.

He died earlier this summer, when it was really a hi heat index, on a lake at a fishing tournament. Very suddenly.... no one was prepared for this. The real punch in the gut type .....

Kyle was on my soccer team from the beginning. And didn't mind playing keeper. He was shorter at that time (as an adult, taller than most) than the rest of the team. Kyle would always give you 100% on the field. He may not have understood what was being asked of him at the time (he was a 1rst grader), but he gave it 100 no matter.

Once out of hi school, he went into culinary arts. Kyle could REALLY cook. It always seemed like he'd take nothing, and made a feast out of it. Every time... Went to a pig roast a few years back, out in the sticks.... I thought someone else had prepared the food. Nope it was Kyle, and it was great.

Went to work for the franchise Granite City, they paid him big money to teach all new chefs with in the organization, across the country. They really liked him.

From there he opened up some kitchens for new eateries around Lincoln. He'd develop the menu's, create new dishes, etc. Always enjoyed going to his establishments to eat his food.... good stuff.

For what ever reason, he got out of the food industry (not out of cooking, he still would cook) and came to work at Gana Trucking (my retirement job), as a low boy dispatcher. He did this job very well. The upper management was very happy with him.

From there he went to Vermeer of Lincoln.... owner hired him to sell used equipment. Again did very well.

Typical Kyle.... he'd give you everything when it was time to work, and it was always good.

Kyle lived with Josh for a year or 2, and then after rehab, Josh went and lived with Kyle for over 2 years.

Kyle and Josh, fished... they fished year round, A LOT. This sentence is way too short..... Kyle loved the outdoors, and fishing was a major part of it...... all the time.

I retired from Gana in 2018.... on my last day Kyle showed up on my job site with some whiskie, and a cigar..... a retirement gift. YES, he was that kind of guy. I'm not special, I know Kyle well enough to know, that he'd treat anyone the same. I was beaming though....

Tall, lanky, black beard, and the always present twinkle in his eyes. Kyle enjoyed his life. Always a promised smile...

I'm hoping someday his children will get to know this side of him. As short as his life was, it had a lot of full pages....

.....

This group of men (pretty much my soccer team) still to this day hang out weekly. They've knicked named them selves the "pony boys". Interesting name, being they are all now 40 years old. But it came from different times, long ago.

The Pony Boys are all affected by the loss of Kyle AND Andy in this past year, have built a foundation. This foundation will develop scholarships to students to continue education they see fit. They've knocked it out of the park. They are developing a web site, have a logo... all in the name of Kyle and Andy. "Pony Boys Foundation"

As a grumpy ol soccer coach, these guys including Kyle and Andy, all have made me proud. To know them then, and now. All are trying there best to be the best adults they can .....

RIP Kyle..... I never figured I'd out live you. never...

[helluvaoutlaw]

The Journey: Entry # 1

January 6, 2025, 11:00 p.m.

Started my journey in the Wastelands of Pride today, not too far from Pentagram City. If you’ve never been here, imagine a sea of jagged rock spikes stretchin’ as far as the eye can see, with barely a scrap of shade or safety in sight. The air’s thick with ash, and the ground feels like it’s gonna split open and swallow you whole.

It ain’t just the terrain you gotta watch out for, either. The Wastelands are home to all manner of nasty creatures, and I got myself a firsthand reminder of that today.

Bombproof and I were pickin’ our way through a canyon when we ran into a pack of harpies.

Ugly things, half-women, half-birds, and all teeth and talons. They swooped down, screechin’ like banshees, thinkin’ we’d make an easy meal.

They were dead wrong.

Took a couple of them out with my revolver before they got too close, and Bombproof handled the rest with a few well-placed kicks and bites.

They didn't like his flames either.

For a hellhorse, he sure knows how to fight dirty. By the time we were done, the rest of the flock decided we weren’t worth the trouble and took off.

Smart move.

After that, we kept ridin’ for a while, only to stumble on somethin’ even worse: an ogre. Now, I’ve dealt with ogres before, but this one was big, even by their standards.

It charged at us, swingin’ a double axe like it was tryin’ to swat a fly.

I managed to dodge, but the ground shook so hard Bombproof almost lost his footing. Took some fancy shootin’ with my angelic guns and a whole lotta patience, but I finally brought it down. Put three shots in its eyes and one in its throat for good measure.

We set up camp after that. Found a spot tucked between some of those rock spikes where we could rest without worryin’ too much about more uninvited guests. Got a fire goin’ and patched up a scratch Bombproof got from one of those harpies. Tough as he is, I ain’t takin’ any chances with him.

The Wastelands are every bit as dangerous as I remember, but I gotta admit...there’s a thrill to it. The kind that makes you feel alive. Guess that’s why I’m doin’ this in the first place.

–––––

((Harpy art by: ))

((Ogre art by: ))

[cage-cat-yt]

Big art dump (also happy autism awareness month!)

Ok so first thing was just some art I did for autism awareness month because this sort of thing means a lot to me. These are all just headcanons (except Kayz and Cain but that's cause they're my ocs and canonically) so if yoy wanna hear more about them don't be afraid to send an ask!

Next page I'm actually super proud of, and Khalil is just so fun to color omg omg! Also the Geist and Khalil one was fun to draw. The ship art too once I got the sketch done.

Third thing was just some sketches I wanted to do, I accidentally made Jack's skin tone a little dark (I use Rose beige but used brick brown by accident- oops) but I think it still turned out good. Also the Orange addison is slaying that pose

Next 3 things was an art project for school. We had to make (or remake) album covers or music posters, so I decided to create a theoretical Tesla album! It turned out pretty good, could've done better on the shading tho.

Then there's some sketches for an au where Drunk Guy gets Hanahaki disease! I'm still messing with it but can talk about it if you wanna hear ^^

Then I drew Spamton because I love him and I needed comfort that day really badly.

Then final thing I redrew a scene from entry 61 because I was feeling bad lol.

Also I'm doing better now for people worried.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Remember to hydrate and I hope you have a good day :)

Characters

Jack Walten (The Walten Files) <3

Sophie Walten (The Walten Files)

Zero_One (The Living Tombstone)

Hit the snooze girl (the living tombstone)

Jay Merrick (Marble Hornets)

Engineer (Team Fortress 2)

Claire (Jack Stauber's Opal)

Yellow Guy (Don't hug me I'm scared)

Katz Macpherson (Josef and Sauer)

Cain Sephtis (Josef and Sauer)

Tim Wright (Marble Hornets) <3

Khalil (The living tombstone oc)

Geist (The Living Tombstone)

Drunk guy (The living tombstone) <3

Wiw guy (The Living Tombstone)

Orange Addison (deltarune)

Unnamed tlt ocs (same species as DG, which in my hc is mostly human but having some tombsona in them, not enough to make much of a difference tho)

Tesla (The living tombstone)

The entirety of the tlt cast on the back part

Spamton (Deltarune) <3

[literaila]

Addressing your tags first and foremost because thank goodness. I was beginning to wonder if I was showing up a little too much in your notifs. I'd be embarrassed if I had any shame but I'm a proud lover of your works, what can I say? Catch me reading an update in my bed and hour before work at like 6am. Liked. Reblogged to my sideblog. Framed. Next.

7 years, my goodness. I'll perhaps have to reconsider, gojo is not worth it 😪 I wish I had an appetite for angst like I used to but alas, I can no longer tolerate the feeling of someone reaching inside me to coil my stomach around their calloused hands and rip it out of me. It's just now how I like to spend any random Tuesday, you know? I prefer the cushioning of fluff. But I guess that's personal preferences for you. You do angst well. Just try not to go for my stomach next time~

Old men and philosophy. Put us in a room and we'll be pulling revelations from the sky.

If its already on its way, I shall prepare the shrine. Visits on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Paid entry.

Your puppy sounds like the grudge she holds against gojo is personal. Can't fault her for that tbh, he's definitely done something wrong and she knows it.

This is why people around him are violent. Bless yuuji, still blinded with his admiration (who can blame him)

no i’m almost tempted to plead you for more. tell me about your headaches, tell me if you find a typo in something i’ve typed, tell me if you happen upon a choso hoodie like i do every couple of days, tell me if your flowers die and you have to throw them out. i will take the blandest of crumbs, the smallest of facts. whatever you want, really.

catch me straining at six in the morning to read your asks (not right now, but usually). i genuinely do wake up every hour during the night and check my inbox for messages. and respond half asleep, obviously. it’s an issue, but i have no plans for resolution.

don’t reconsider. i have considered it enough for the both of us, and i will gladly take any pain gojo wants to push on me (with a heavily winded rant, of course. some light scolding).

ah, yes. i personally prefer fake angst in which the characters could not have an issue if they would fess up. real angst? death? pain? no thanks, i’ll take the burden of fluff. believe me, i used to write a lot more angst (someone said to me ‘verity, sometimes people just don’t want to read angst’ and um. yeah true, so i evolved into more fluff ((and overall better writing)) i’ll send your stomach an apology letter, fret not.

put me and any old man in a room and i will find a way to start a fight. it’s simply in my nature.

i just said that money sucks and now i have to pay for entrance fee to my own heart??? fine, i guess, i suppose. i’ve gifted it to you and no takebacksies and all that

i think you mean the grudge she holds against me. literally last time i wrote with her around she immediately came to sit in my lap and typed some outrageous things with her entire body weight. franklin doesn’t understand common courtesy or art (side eyeing me as we speak)

(gojo is always doing something wrong though. we all know it)

real real real. i was thinking about reader and satoru in a room, much too close to each other, and i thought ‘huh, that’s kind of a weird thing to do. even for two grossly pining characters. how realistic is that, chat?’ but then i remembered who i was writing about. (gojo cannot be stopped)

[star-going-supernova]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼

(No pressure if you don't want to though!)

What a wonderful ask to wake up to! A tall order, tho, so I had to think about this for a bit, and it was harder than I thought it'd be. I've got a lot of favorites! Here are my top five favorite works of my own, not in any particular order:

The Art of Being Alive — Bendy and the Ink Machine

What would you expect if your former best friend wanted to see you again after seven years of silence?  Not this, Henry thought viciously as he swung his axe back and forth, like a murderous metronome. Never this. Or; an AU where Joey invites Henry back after less than a decade, because he discovers that only Henry’s drawings work in the Ink Machine. It's all downhill from there.

Of course this story is on my list. TAoBA was my first big project, fic or otherwise, and it will always hold a special place in my heart. I learned so much by writing this story, and while I'd do some things differently now, after years more practice and experience, TAoBA still makes me so incredibly proud. I met a lot of friends and amazing people through this fic, genuinely had so much fun with it, and I credit it and BatIM as a whole for where I am today as a fic writer.

• • •

Side Effects of Friendship — Little Nightmares

Six deciding to save Mono in the Signal Tower was only the beginning.  (this is a good-end, no-loop AU of my own making, as part of my quest to give these kids a happy ending)

Is it cheating to put a whole series as just one entry? I say no, lol. This AU and series is one of my favorites for a number of reasons. It's a very cohesive story, which I'm super proud of, and the journey I put the kids through mentally, emotionally, and physically was just so dang fun to write. I was super excited as I worked up to and hinted at the surprise twist at the end, and I really enjoyed taking this nightmarish world and expanding it in my own way. The themes of healing really seemed to resonate with a lot of people, and that also makes me super proud of this set of stories.

• • • 

Flood and Firestorm — Bendy and the Ink Machine

But it must have paused near his corridor because there was no way to ignore it. And the words registered. “…the Ink Demon’s refusal to terminate. Keepers have administered quarter hourly sessions of physical tortures—” Henry’s eyes snapped up. The kindling caught. (Henry overhears a Keeper making an audio log about how they're torturing the Ink Demon and goes ballistic.)

I've got a lot of BatIM fics that I'm super proud of, but this one makes the list because I am just so pleased and proud of a lot of the language in this fic. This was one of the first ones I wrote upon my return to the BatIM fandom, and I love it a whole lot. Henry gets to go a little bit feral, too, and that was a genuine blast to write. I've returned to reread this one a whole bunch of times.

• • •

93% Stardust — Godzilla

Indignation on his behalf, lingering irritation at Monarch, determination to help—she held on to those feelings. They’d gotten her this far, and if she forget why she was about to throw herself headfirst into the head of a giant mech with Ghidorah of all monsters at the helm, then she might as well give up now.  She slid the helmet on, squeezing her eyes shut as she did, and it was like being struck by lightning.  It was like becoming lightning. (I can't be the only one who wanted Maddie to get in the pilot seat, c'mon)

This one makes the list solely because of how much I love the final product. The abstract section was so much fun to write, and I still love the idea of Maddie getting into Mechagodzilla's head. The self-indulgence for this one was off the charts, which makes this one of my favorites!

• • •

Poetic Justice — Five Nights at Freddy's

tumblr prompt: In one world, Glitchtrap is nothing but Afton and code, forcing Vanessa into the role of Vanny in order to create Afton a new body. In another, Glitchtrap is Spring Bonnie’s original personality (before Afton), and he and Vanessa are looking for the last remains of Afton in order to destroy it for good… and just watched Gregory casually find it after months of searching. (Or, Vanessa's going to have a headache by the end of tonight.)

This one might be a surprise to some people, but I absolutely love this one-shot. The concept, the characters, the potential... it all just ticks a few very specific boxes in my brain, lol. I've gone back to reread this one many times, and I usually end up imagining different first meetings between Gregory and Michael afterward.

• • •

Honorable Mentions:

Taking the Plunge — Godzilla

This one didn't make the cut only because I had other favorites. If the list was a Top 6 or 7 favorites, this one would have been on it too.

Heavy as a Hurricane — Godzilla

I still hope to finish this one eventually, but it's an honorable mention because every time I reread it, I go "dang, hope the author updates someday, this is really good" before remembering that... ah. Yes. The author is me.

Body and Soul — Bendy and the Ink Machine

It was my first story back in the BatIM fandom after years away. Love, love, love the concept still.

the line between freedom and surrender — Bendy and the Ink Machine

This one nearly made the list because it really hits the spot for me. I'm really proud of the dialogue in this one.

see what i've become (i will no longer feed the machine) (strings 'verse) — Five Nights at Freddy's

I'm very proud of the healing in this series, in the first and last stories especially.

[superfallingstars]

I love your Snape art! The way you draw him is *perfect*! I like how you can pull both a cozy soft vibe in a drawing and a creepy one in another and your Snapetober entries are very interesting (I'm thinking about the masks one and the one where Severus is surrounded by eyes)

first of all sorry it took me one million years to answer this. second of all THANK YOU!!! this is SO nice and makes me SO happy you have no idea <3

i meant to actually post a reflection about snapetober because it was such an interesting experience. it's been a long time since i've drawn so consistently (i used to draw every day as a kid but some time in high school i just sort of stopped and have been drawing weekly-to-monthly ever since) and i didn't realize how much i missed it! it was definitely hard to keep up with, but i'm really proud of what i was able to accomplish.

it was also a huge challenge for me to do more conceptual pieces (like the eyes and masks ones) and push through to finish them. i tend to get bogged down in character design and capturing someone's exact likeness (something i did with snape for a few months before even starting to post on here lol – it took a long time to get him to look the way i wanted!), and although i really enjoy doing that, i had been left feeling kind of disappointed with my art. most of my creations were just sketches and references, with no thought to composition or concept, to the point that i hadn't really "finished" a piece of art in probably years. so the pressure of the prompts and also having to post the results was actually really good for me.

i also really appreciate you saying that i can do both cozy and creepy types of drawings. i've always felt that my art style is kind of inconsistent, and especially when i first starting posting online (on deviantArt, eight years ago.... EIGHT YEARS AGO?!!!!), i thought that was a bad thing and that i should really just pick one style and stick with it. however i think i've finally accepted that i simply like a lot of different styles, and so i will incorporate them into my art as needed to achieve different effects. (hello that sketchbook page where i drew a hand squishing snape's cheeks with the caption "squish the snep" and then an inch away i drew him bleeding out.) and that's just kind of my thing, lol.

sorry i wrote a whole essay omg. but snapetober was so challenging and fun, and the people i've connected with and the interactions i've had on here because of it are something i'm really grateful for.

thank you again for your kind words :-)

[penelopecruzcoded]

i don't think it's the writing, it's my process and approach to everything. this is how i am in making art, this is how i am in making video, film, any creative space i approach. i set goals and requirements of myself, standards to reach, expectations, and then bash myself and the work with the hammer of perfectionism until all the fun is wrung out of that thing. i don't know why i do this. and sometimes, sometimes i reach my expectations and make a work i am proud of (in the moment, in years it always transmutes into something else), but oftentimes it falls just short of that. my output is never good enough for me, and i don't know if it's because i know i am capable of more, believe i didn't push myself enough or try hard enough, or if i'm just being unnecessarily harsh on myself. i don't know if every artist is like this, i know most artists in general go hard on themselves and push and challenge themselves, and i don't know where i fall in the scale of that or if i'm overdoing it. i don't know if i have an inner critic in regards to myself as a whole (though if my cptsd book is to be trusted, we all have one), but when it comes to my work it is alive and kicking.

maybe i need to talk, trust, and reason with that voice. sit down and have some conversations with it. i forgot that i stopped doing that questionnaire, i need to pick it up again and continue answering those questions. i was really getting somewhere with it. i need to just keep pushing this questioning process, because i'd love to arrive at a practice that doesn't suck all the joy ot of something for me. sometimes i wish i only had to do data entry day in and day out.