#I'm really glad he gets to take a breath now that everything is said and done

[ohnoyuno]

Love you too much

A story based off the lyrics of Mark’s Too Much! I love this album soooooo much! It’s that one album that I’ll definitely hold close to my heart and cherish for a long, long time. Please give Mark’s album, The Firstfruit lots of love!!! 💚

Pairing: jeong jaehyun x female reader | ft. jungwoo, mark Genre: angst Warnings: insecurities, self-doubt Word Count: 2657

Summary: When the love became too much to ignore, too much to lose, the love they shared proved to be worth everything. Love was understood in a way that only they could see.

All your calls went unanswered, and your countless text messages were left on read.

 "Jae, I’m really really sorry."  

 "Come home, please?"  

 "I swear I didn’t mean it."  

 "I know you wouldn’t do that."  

 "I just spoke out of anger."  

 "I’ll be waiting for you at home."  

 "I love you."

I'm so glad you love me, you're the only one who holds me I can understand what love is now 'Cause you showed me what love looks like My whole life has been a blessing since '99, ooh

Jaehyun had stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him, and he hadn't returned since. It has been almost 24 hours, and you haven’t heard from him.

Growing restless, you called his manager, asking about Jaehyun’s schedule for the day. Only to receive an answer you knew wouldn't help, just a morning meeting, which he had attended but left immediately after. You tried reaching out to the boys too, but Jungwoo only said that Jaehyun mentioned he was heading to the gym, though he should’ve been long done by now.

Your instincts told you he had asked them not to reveal too much so you didn’t push them further.

If he wasn’t at the studio or the gym, there was only one other place he could be. The basketball court at Banpo Han River. A spot he always returned to, whether it was for a quick game with the boys or to simply disconnect with life for a bit.

You hurried there without thinking twice.

The sharp echo of the basketball pounding against the pavement met your ears before you even reached the court. The rhythmic thud, the squeak of sneakers pivoting, the occasional clang of the ball against the hoop, it all filled the heavy evening air.

And there he was. Along with Jungwoo and Mark, playing under the fading sunlight.

Mark noticed you first, freezing mid dribble as his eyes widened slightly, his face almost looked mortified seeing you walking towards them.

"Is there a ghost behind me, Mark?" you teased, forcing a small chuckle.

"Noona... sorry... hyung, he—" Mark stuttered, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I know. It’s okay," you said, smiling lightly to put him at ease.

By then, Jaehyun had seen you. He turned back to the hoop, aimed for another shot, but the ball bounced off the rim and missed. Frustration flickered across his face. Without a word, he threw the ball to the ground, the loud thud echoing through the court, and stormed off toward the bleachers where they had left their belongings.

"Mark, I’m thirsty. Let’s go get a drink," Jaehyun called out sharply, not even looking back.

"Hyung, we’ll go," Jungwoo quickly responded, catching on immediately.

Before Jaehyun could even open his mouth, Jungwoo had already grabbed Mark’s arm, tugging him away towards the convenience store.

You mouthed a small thank you to Jungwoo, who just gave you a supportive nod before jogging away, giving you and Jaehyun the space you needed.

Taking a deep breath, you made your way toward the bleachers, cautiously sitting down. Deliberately leaving a gap between you and Jaehyun, with their bags occupying the space between.

"Jae—" you started carefully.

"Just leave,” he said flatly, not even looking at you. “I don’t want to talk."

You knew how stubborn Jaehyun was, how deep he could retreat into himself when he was hurting, so you didn’t press him. 

"Okay. I’ll leave," you said gently. "But only after you eat this first." You pulled out a bento box you had prepared earlier and pushed it carefully into his hands.

"You haven’t eaten all day, have you?" You nudged the box closer to him.

As if on cue, his stomach betrayed him with a loud grumble.

"Eat" you insisted, your tone soft but firm. "Then I’ll go."

Jaehyun glared at the box like it had personally offended him. He remained quiet and looked away again. 

After a long, heavy pause and with a reluctant huff, he finally took the chopsticks and the bento box from your hands. Not a single word escaped his lips as he ate, devouring the meal as though he hadn't eaten in days. You stayed silent, just quietly watching him from the side.

So very him. Jaehyun, a tsundere. Stubborn to the core, acting like he didn’t care, yet still accepting every piece of love you offered.

He ate quickly, almost aggressively, as if pretending he wasn’t hungry would make it less obvious how much he needed it. When he was done, he placed the empty container on the seat beside him with a little more force than necessary, as if trying to make a point.

You expected him to get up and head back to the court. But he didn’t move. Didn’t say a word. 

You gathered the container, tucking it back into your bag. You had promised you would leave, so you got ready to stand up.

But just as you were about to stand up, his voice stopped you.

"I hate you," Jaehyun said quietly.

—

The Night Before

The argument started innocently enough, a small comment, an offhand remark that spiraled out of control in seconds. It wasn’t even about anything serious, Just a bad day, a few misunderstood words, and your own temper snapping under pressure.

Jaehyun had been trying, really. You could see it, he was doing his best to hold it together, trying not to let the exhaustion from work and the weight of the day drag him down further. All he wanted after returning home was to take a long shower, cuddle in bed with you and have a peaceful night to unwind.

But somewhere between frustration and weariness, you threw the lowest blow without even thinking. You just refused to back down. 

Jaehyun walked through the door, his footsteps heavy from a long day at work. He dropped his bag on the floor, ��Dinner ready?” was the first thing he called out. 

You didn’t turn around. “Y/N? You good?” he asked, noticing the silence in the air.

“Hi Jaehyun. Yes, my day was great, And yes, dinner is ready.” you replied, your words dripping with sarcasm.

His brow furrowed. “Where is this coming from?”

You can feel the frustration building inside you, like a dam that’s about to burst. 

Finally turning to face him, your voice tight with the weight of everything you’ve been holding in.

“Really? No hi? No how’s your day? You just come home and expect food on the table? What am I to you, Jaehyun? I just don’t understand why you’ve been so distant. Like, I’m here, trying to communicate with you, but you’re always so checked out.” you blabbered.

A flicker of confusion passing over his face.

“Checked out? I’m not, I’ve been working all day, Y/N. You know that.”

“Of course I know that,” you snapped, the frustration clear in your voice. “But it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. Like you dread coming home.”

Jaehyun let out a deep breath, his hands running through his hair as he stepped closer to you, trying to meet your gaze. “Y/N, that’s not true. I’m here, I’m trying. What do you want from me? What more do you need?”

“I need you to talk to me, Jaehyun!”

“I am talking to you,” he responded, his tone defensive.

You could feel the heat rise in your chest, frustration seeping into every word. “No, you’re not. You’re saying words just for the sake of it.”

Everything that had been building up inside you broke free. You set the ladle down harder than you intended, the clatter of it against the counter sharp in the tense air. 

“At least Jackson knew how to make me feel heard!” you blurted out, the words cutting through the room before you could stop them.

The moment the name left your mouth, the room dropped into an icy silence.

Jaehyun just stared at you, like he couldn’t believe what he'd heard.  

Your chest heaved with angry breaths, your heart hammering. But as the seconds ticked by, the weight of what you said sank in. 

You hadn't meant it. You hadn't meant it at all. But it’s now too late, you couldn’t unsay it.

You instantly knew you messed up, seeing the way Jaehyun froze, jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.  

He didn’t yell. Didn’t argue. He just stood there for a long second, breathing like he was trying to steady himself. And when he finally spoke he quietly said, "Okay," his voice was so low it barely made it across the room.

"Go back to him, then."

"Jae—" you gasped, stepping toward him, panic rising fast.

"No. You said what you meant." He cut you off, a humorless, broken laugh escaping him.  

You tried to reach for him, but he was already backing away, grabbing his jacket from the chair.

"You don’t have to worry about me not listening anymore.”

And before you could say another word, he was gone.

The door slammed shut, leaving you alone with your regrets echoing off the walls.

5 minutes. 5 minutes was all it took. Jaehyun had just stepped in the house and had barely settled down and now he’s left again. 

Both of you were caught in a communication breakdown. 

There was Jaehyun, exhausted and wasn’t as emotionally available as usual, then there was you, frustrated by the lack of communication, couldn’t find the words to express how you were feeling without sounding accusatory or defensive. You both spoke in frustration, not taking the time to really understand each other’s points of view.

—

Your eyes snapped up to him.

Looking at Jaehyun now, the tired slump of his shoulders, the way he had just devoured the meal earlier without even looking at you for one bit, guilt was gnawing at your insides.

You hadn't meant to compare. You never once wished Jaehyun was anyone else.

But in that one reckless moment, you'd made Jaehyun feel like he wasn't enough, like he was second best. And that was the deepest cut you could have given someone who loved you so much.

He wasn’t looking at you, his gaze was fixed far away, just staring out into the empty court ahead, his expression unreadable.

"I hate that you knew where to find me," he continued, his voice low and rough.

"I hate that you came here with food for me."

"I hate that you care so much for me."

"I hate that you love me too much."

'Cause your love is too much Too much, always I know you love me too much Too much, always I'd turn and leave myself today 'Cause finding you is worth everything Yes, your love is too much too much always Oh, your love is

He swallowed thickly, his next words cracking under the weight of the emotions he tried to hold back.

"I hate that no matter how hard I try to stay mad at you," he whispered, "I can’t." he finally turned to face you, eyes glassy.

The weight of his confession hung between you, thick and heavy. 

Neither of you moved, the only sounds filling the air were the distant thuds of a basketball being lazily bounced by Mark and Jungwoo somewhere farther off.

You set your bag down again and sat still, hands resting on your lap as you fiddled with your fingers. You were caught a little off guard for a moment, unsure of how to reply to him as you were scared of saying the wrong thing that might end up pushing him even further away.

Jaehyun let out a shaky breath, dragging a hand through his sweat damp hair, looking utterly exhausted. Not just physically, but from fighting with himself.

"I was so angry, Y/N," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.  

"I was so angry because it hurt. What you said… it hurt more than I thought it could."

"Jaehyun..." you started, your voice barely above a whisper, your throat tightening. "I know. And I'm so, so sorry." you said, the words raw and sincere.

He pressed his lips together, eyes dropping to the ground between his feet like the words he wanted to say were buried there.

"I wanted to stay mad," he confessed, his voice breaking again. "I told myself I should. That if maybe I stayed mad enough, it wouldn't hurt so much."

You slid a little closer, closing part of the space between you, but still giving him the room to choose. He didn't move away.

"It broke me, Jae. Watching you leave like that, knowing I caused it. I couldn't stop replaying it in my head. Wondering if I had lost you for good. I don't think I've ever hated myself more."

He let out a bitter chuckle under his breath, wiping at his face roughly with the sleeve of his shirt. When he finally looked at you, really looked, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

You reached out carefully, hesitating for just a second before placing your hand gently over his.  

He didn’t pull away.

"I really didn’t mean it," you pushed on, forcing the words out even though your throat burned.

Your gaze dropped to your hands, guilt weighing down on you heavier with each second.

"I don’t even think about him anymore. I haven’t in a long time. I swear." 

"You’re nothing like him," you whispered. "You’re everything he wasn’t. You listen. You care. You love me better than I ever thought I deserved. I know you’re doing your best for us. I just let my insecurities get in the way."

The words stumbled out of you in a messy rush, your heart speaking faster than your mind could catch up. "I get so scared sometimes when you love me too much, like I’m going to mess everything up because that's what I’m used to. People leaving. People giving up. But you… you’re different. You’re so good, too good for me and sometimes I just don’t know what to do with that."

"And I know you’re exhausted, you work so hard, and you give so much of yourself every day, I should be making it easier for you, not making you question if you’re enough."

Yeah, more than I can ever imagine

Jaehyun stared at you for a long, unreadable moment.

You could feel his eyes on you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet them yet.

"You can hate me all you want—" 

"Stop. Don’t say that." he cut you off sharply, the weight of his voice grounding you. 

Too much, too much, always (Yeah, yeah, than I can ever imagine) Yes, your love is too much, too much, always, ooh (Yeah, yeah, alright)

Then, with a broken sound from deep in his chest, he quickly closed the gap between you, pulling you into him. “I will never hate you.” he murmured against your hair.  

Your arms wrapped around him, tight and desperate, like you were afraid he might slip away if you didn’t hold on hard enough.  

"I’ve been so caught up in my own stuff that I forgot to take care of us, and I’m so sorry for making you feel unimportant. You mean everything to me."

I know your love is too much, I'm writing to you with love It's all for moments like this (Yeah, alright) I know your love is too much, I'm writing to you with love It's all for moments like this (Yeah, alright)

“You could break my heart a hundred times and I’d still choose you. Y/N, I love you so much”

I know your love is too much It's the only love worth fighting for I had to get this off my chest Right before I let this album end I know your love is too much I know your love is too much

Too much, too much, always

A little message to Mark Lee, 

Congratulations on your first solo album! I’m so grateful to have witnessed your journey as an artist, how you’ve allowed us to connect with you on such a personal level through your passion for music and by sharing this piece of yourself with us. May your music continue to touch more hearts and change even more lives. Thank you for sharing The Firstfruit with us. Thank you, Mark, for everything. 🫑🍁🐯💚

masterlist

[hawnks]

I think Gege's final letter about Jujutsu Kaisen solidified my belief that the time constraints of weekly releases make really talented creators into really uninspired ones. At the speed mangakas have to go, they simply don't have the time to be thoughtful or careful in constructing their stories. That's why so many beloved mangas begin to tank in later chapters -- everyone is simply burnt out.

[scribblemesylus]

What they need to hear from you

The one where you comfort him : Caleb, Rafayel, Zayne, Sylus, Xavier

Hello! This is my first official writing of the LaDS characters; I hope you enjoy it! comments and reposts and love are most appreciated! 💕 The reader is the MC in this one! Angsty (but happy endings) No other warnings.Thank you to my friend who helped me find some inspiration for this post <3

Caleb

Caleb always tried to be the Caleb you remembered, even if he could not remember it that well, he searched through the little memory he had left to piece himself together. Because it was for you. He saw your face that day, the day you told him you didn't need him. That look in your eye, he didn't know exactly what it was; disgust? Pity? Terror? He couldn't recognise it. So, instead of acting like it never happened, he tried to make himself better, just so you would never leave his side again... you liked him before, right? So, it shouldn't be too hard... right?

Turns out, it was harder than he had ever imagined, after all the time he had not seen you since you were released from his fleet, everything between the two of you became suffocatingly awkward. Neither of you knew what to do, what to say, he was beginning to believe that even with the silly coupon (he didn't find it silly... not really), there was no salvaging what the two of you had.

He had destroyed it all in desperation to have you.

So, even though whenever he was near you, he felt like as if is chest was caved in from shame; he stayed by your side. Letting himself silently suffocate because that is what he deserved for letting you down -- or so he believed. It wasn't until you came back injured from a mission, where he ran to you, but he didn't dare touch you, his hands just sort of... hovered over your injuries, his eyes darting around, his brain trying desperately to find a way he could help you without terrifying you again. You sighed and watched him before slowly reaching toward his hand, your fingers brushing against the top of his hand "Caleb..." You whisper, your now strained relationship was hurting a lot more than your physical injuries "Caleb, I am not scared of you... I need you to help me." You push and look at him "Please.." It was true, what happened in Skyhaven was behind you and even though it was killing you with how different the two of you were compared to before, you aren't able to clean all these wounds yourself.

Caleb's eyes softened immediately, and he nodded. "Of course, Pipsqueak, you must be hurting a lot; I'm sorry." He quickly got up and grabbed the first aid kit as he slowly sat you down gently and began to look at your injuries, taking a deep breath before he peeled your sleeves away. "Pips... where did you go to... to get these types of injuries?" He asked gently, but when he was met with nothing but silence, he let out a sigh. "Please, prioritise your safety..." He muttered before continuing to help you as you focused on other wounds. You turn to him and nod "I do, it's just-" He didn't need you to explain, "I know." Was all he said before finishing up and packing the first aid kit "Do you... uh.." He scratched the back of his neck. "Need help with anything else?" He asks gently, but when you shake your head, he just gives you a soft smile and lets you be.

He stood in the kitchen and sighed gently as he slipped the first aid kit back into the cupboard. It wasn't easy to see you like this, in pain and uncomfortable. He just wanted to fix everything; he was good at it whilst he was younger, so why wasn't he good at it now?

He knew you had to do this; you had to save the people the way that you and he weren't in that catastrophe, but he wondered if you were trying to prove something to yourself, too. Caleb wanted to push them, tell you that saving the world wasn't your responsibility, but he has just got you back; you're finally not scared of him anymore; he couldn't ruin that. All he could be is glad that you were here now, that you came to him after all.

He closed the cupboard and prepared a small cup of hot chocolate for the two of you, and sat in the sitting room, waiting for your return.

After getting changed into comfier clothing, you nestled into Caleb, your heart racing slightly in fear he would reject this form of affection after so long... after what you said to him. But, he welcomed it and wrapped his arm around you. "I want to go back to how we used to be.." You say softly, looking up at his big purple eyes. "A-At least, start working towards it... You're my home, Caleb... I don't want this... awkwardness anymore."

You swore you could almost see him levitate off the couch as he practically shone with happiness as if those were the only words he ever needed to hear. "Anything you want, Pipsqueak, I am yours to command."

Rafayel

Rafayel was not an insecure man. At least, that is what everyone else thought. Rafayel, on the other hand, was not so sure. It is not that he felt insecure; it's more he felt this emptiness inside of him, and he had no clue what to fill it with. After all these years, he had you in his grasp once more, so close, yet so far. Because he remembered everything, he even knew what was to come, but you? You're so clueless. He knew how he lost you, how he would lose you and how he could lose you. And he had to deal with this pain and anger all alone.

His past failures jabbed into him as if he were Prometheus, constantly being pecked by a bird. He lived between what was his life and the life he had before, dealing with the betrayal he caused, all for the one he loved, for you, but you didn't know. You will never know.

A part of him did not want you to ever find out what kind of monster he was, afraid he would scare you away, like the otherworldly beast he is, but the other part of him was so tired of carrying this alone.

He wasn't insecure in himself, but insecure for what he could do for you, insecure in his love for you. Would it be enough for you to stay? For the two of you to finally have an entire lifetime together? Would it be worth plunging his people into darkness?

It was a constant spiral he had since you came back into his life, like a rollercoaster, but forever stuck on the loop, the happiness that he finally has you and the pain of what he was - it was a never-ending cycle. That a part of him didn't want to escape; he deserved this pain after all, didn't he? For what is a God who does not live in shame for causing suffering to his people?

But, deep down, he was just afraid he would become unloveable in your eyes. That was his deepest, darkest fear, the one that drowned him in darkness once the night time hit.

You knew something was wrong. It seems silly but when your world was a bit duller, when the grey clouds seemed more prominent or when the lakes and seas swayed as if it was heavy, you knew Rafayel was not himself. So, with a spare bag of seashells in hand and some of the rare materials you knew he liked, you headed over to his place.

The plastic bag twisted against your fingers, almost cutting off circulation entirely as you made your way through the streets and to the beach, slipping your spare key out of your pocket and into the keyhole of the gate, twisting it a few times to unlock the gate.

You gently swished the bag beside you as you made the way to the door, and you imagined your boyfriend's smile when he saw you. However, your heart fell to your stomach as Rafayel's 'organised' mess was scattered and ruined across the floor. The studio was a mess and unkempt; it was almost like an abandoned building.

"Rafayel?" You called out and looked around the place before you saw him sitting on the balcony.

He turned to you, his eyes screaming emotions at you that you had never seen on him before "Cutie..." He whispered meekly.

You fell to your knees by his side once you approached his side and cupped his face "Darling? What has happened? Are you struggling to paint?" You ask as you caress his cheek, your heart fluttering as he leans in as if he hadn't been touched by you in weeks (he saw you yesterday)

"Will you still love me, no matter what I become?" He asked you suddenly, and you froze as you looked at him; the two of you had silently loved each other until now, finding other ways to highlight your love rather than saying it.

"Of course you wouldn't." He muttered bitterly and turned from you, missing how your brows scrunched together with a mix of confusion and anger

"What-?"

"How could an angel like you love a monster like-" "I love you." You blurt out and make him face you, "I wanted to say it in a more romantic way, in a way that you will always remember.... but I love you, Rafayel, no matter what you become.." You smile softly and place a kiss on his cheek and caress it into his skin as if to heal him.

Rafayel's hand slipped down from above yours to your wrist as he searched your eyes for any deceit.

"Promise?" He asks, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly as he anticipates your answer.

"I promise, my heart has always been yours and always will be.

Rafayel may have a piece of him missing, but he was sure it was to be filled by you.

Zayne

Zayne is a man who craves control, not over anyone else, just over himself. He had to, because if he was void of control, there would be cracks and the cracks he could not let you see. If you saw his cracks, how could you trust him as your doctor?

He had let you down once, all those years ago when he left you, abandoned you, even if it was not his choice. But he had a choice now and he would use it to make sure he never let you down again.

So, every single crack he kept to himself, stayed up later, worked later until he could fill them all up again before he could see you. However, as he scribbled down notes on his research, the memories of his nightmares played in his mind, taunting him, punishing him, and he came to accept he deserved it. He shouldn't have let all those people come to die, he was a doctor, and a doctor's role was to save a life, not to let it fade away, yet with every year, the list of his letdowns grew.

Everyone told him that it was expected: that to save a life, you were bound to lose a few; it was how life worked. But not for Zayne, not at all, because with every name that appeared on that list, he was afraid it was a name closer to yours.

He couldn't have that, not when he gave up the life he wanted for yours to prevail.

You, on the other hand, were becoming increasingly worried and slightly frustrated with your doctor because this was the third time you tried to coax him out of his office. You have tried everything; cake, macaroons, sweets... all came to a disappointing ending. You thought that trying something as harmless as sweets wouldn't highlight your increasing worry, and it was small enough so you could get a small look at him.

It had almost been two weeks now, and so you made your way to the hospital. You just wanted to know that he was okay and maybe scold him slightly for shutting you out... again.

Once the doors slid open, you gently greeted Yvonne and walked to Zayne's office after making sure he had no more patients to see. You looked down at the box, a small muffin for Zayne, before inhaling and knocking on the door.

Gosh, you hope he doesn't reject you because as your knuckles collide with the door, It dawns on you that he might be avoiding you because you might have done something wrong.

"Come in."

You gulp down and hold the small box a little tighter in your hand, causing it to crease slightly before opening the door. You shifted on your feet as he was too immersed in his work to even look up at you.

"Hi." You greet him gently and slip the muffin on the table, and his eyes instantly break away from the paper at the sound of your voice

"I thought that since you wouldn't come to me for the sweet treats, I would just come to you because I know you cannot go too long without them." You say lightly and place yourself on the chair opposite his desk.

"Thank you." He says softly and looks between you and his work a couple of times before bunching the papers together in a neat pile and slipping them away. "Did you just come from a mission?" You raise a brow. "Are you not going to explain why I haven't seen you in two weeks? I know being a doctor is exhausting, Zayne, but you normally tell me ahead of time-"

"I didn't want to worry you over something foolish. I have it under control."

"Under control? What is under control? Why aren't you talking to me? You know that I am here." The words fall out, conveying your desperation. You had felt empty without him, alone, and you didn't want to feel that again. "It does not concern you, Y/N." He retorts, "If I thought you needed to know, I would have told you." You bite back your words and nod "Alright.." You sit there silently. You would've typically left, but something told you that this time, you needed to stay, that he needed you.

After a few beats of silence, you try again. "You don't have to keep it all to yourself... I know it may not concern me, but that doesn't mean you have to lock it away."

He tensed up. He hated how you could still see through him, even after all this time. He pulled away from his computer, which he was only looking at to control his anxiety for nearly scaring you away. He released the tension in his shoulders and took the muffin. "I lost a patient... two weeks ago."

Sylus

'What a fool' is all he could think as he sat in his office, piles of vinyl scattered across his usually clean office. No tune or genre was calming him. After all this time, after sensing you like he did, after preparing this life for you, he had scared you away.

He couldn't bear to think that because of who he was, his reputation, and who you believed he was made him lose you, not after all this time, not after the promise the two of you shared, not after what you went through.

He was a fool for pushing you too quick, too hard; his excitement and desperation had blinded him; why was he so hellbent on making you remember if he could just build new memories with you? Foolish.

You not remembering a thing, he could get behind, it made sense, but your hatred, your disgust. That he could not get behind, no matter what you believed about him. All he wanted to do was to have you in his arms and to show you what he had made. It might not be the cave you had a lifetime ago, but it was spectacular in this lifetime. A lifetime he built for you, and you didn't even want it.

He supposed he could understand. You did think he killed your family, even though he would never. All he would do would be to keep you safe. It pained him to understand your point of view, to see him as a monster. He was in his last life, so it only made sense that he was in this one.

But he had made you fall in love with him once, and back then, he was truly a monster, so he could make you fall for him again. He just had to give you the choice to choose him.

So, over the next few weeks, he let you choose him, come back to him. Not pushing or pulling, he didn't need to; the door was always open, and you knew that.

That didn't stop his heart from doing flips in his chest each time he saw you walk through the base's doors.

Tonight, you were also expected to come through the doors; he had the twins make sure the base was clean and tidy, that your room was prepared, and that security was at its highest. It was something he always did when you were coming over.

However, you never showed; you were on a mission, so maybe you went home and forgot; that would be reasonable... except come rain or shine, injury or no injury, if you said you were coming, you were always there.

He knew there was something more to your tardiness; without another thought, he sent Mephisto to look for you, and when he came back, the air was knocked out from Sylus' lungs.

You were found passed out, just outside of the base; it didn't take him a second to cross the base and have you in his arms "Oh, kitten.." He brushed the hair from your face, his heart breaking as you weakly opened your eyes.

"Sylus, I am sorry, I tried to call, but..."

"Shh, it's okay. You're safe now." He tried to use his usual tone with you, but his voice was softer, almost as if he was trying his hardest not to let it break.

He worked quickly to get you patched up, swallowing down his worries and quite possibly his tears as he did so, not even letting the twins near you. He sat with you, putting on your favourite vinyl softly in the background as he waited for you to wake up, not leaving your side, his hand placed on yours, afraid that if he let you go, he would lose you like he almost did tonight and the guilt was eating him alive.

"Stop looking at me like that." You mutter and glance toward him. "You're looking at me like your cat just died." You smirk slightly, and he lets out a chuckle "Kitten, why didn't you ask me to pick you up?"

"I assumed you had business to attend to-" "You should've called me. What happened if you never made it here, if we never found you, if you never came back to me, do you think I could live with myself."

You slowly sit up and look toward him "Sylus, I will always come back to you, always. I will always find myself here. You need to trust me on that."

"I do. It's just tonight seeing you like that made me feel-" "Scared?"

He huffed through his nose and pinched the bridge of it "Something like that..." He brushed the hair out of your face "Call me next time." You nod and smile "I will."

A few days later you were back fighting wanderers, but this time Sylus was by your side, his evol swirling around his arm and his hand "You sure about this, Sweetie?"

You nod "I'm Sure, I am safe by your side."

Sylus smiled; you were safe with him; you chose him, and fighting beside you was the greatest honour to have, so he made sure you left the mission without a scratch.

Xavier

It wasn't unusual for you to not see or hear from Xavier for days; you were sure he would pop up at one of the most convenient moments to be by your side. Or, pop up just before you were assigned another partner by Captian Jenna.

This is what happened; before you, the captain, could even mutter another person's name, Xavier appeared, literally faster than the speed of light beside you. Jenna sighed and cleared her throat. "Y/N, your partner will be Xavier for today's mission.

You didn't even look at him before you went to collect what you needed from the information room, and Xavier didn't seem to mind this. He just followed you obediently and read through the information quickly.

You were brought out of your focus when you suddenly heard his voice.

"Aren't you even going to ask where I was for the past few days?" He questioned and tilted his head, unsure why you're not interrogating him like you usually do.

You shrug and turn back to the tablet sitting in your hands. "Why should I? I trust you. If you want to let me know, you will when you need to."

To you, it was just a simple establishment of trust that you assumed you both knew of, but to Xavier, it was everything, and quite clearly, as little lights started to float around him, there was a slight smile on his face.

Trust was a big deal to him; after meeting you for the second time, he almost felt guilty about how angry you were at him for leaving you behind like he did. Not only that, but he failed his planet and the people on it, as well as the people he dragged here, to try and save you... He had failed them all and probably even you to the point where he believed he wasn't even worthy of trust.

You two didn't make a comment about it from that point. It was almost like, 'What is said in the information room stays in the information room.'

You watched him stand there and fiddle with the protocore between his fingers before, like always, crushing it into oblivion.

"Why do you always do that?" You ask, but he does not answer; he just walks you home. "Xavier, are you feeling okay? You've been silent the whole walk home.."

"I'm alright." He shot you a small smile like he always did and went inside. It was yet another protocore that was a waste, another step further from home, another disappointment to the people relying on him... but, at least, you trusted him.

So, he walked down the stairs and to your apartment and knocked on the door. He didn't even have to say a word, you just let him walk in and sit down, plating up some food for him.

You sit opposite and begin to eat, speaking about trivial things with him before he speaks up, "I don't expect you to understand me fully, but I need to find something, and I can't find it, and it's driving me mad."

"I can help-" you pipe in, but he just shakes his head, causing you to deflate, but you understood him in a way; you had things to do, personal missions to complete that you wouldn't want anyone to touch either. You clear your throat. "Well, if you ever need someone to help cheer you up or clear your mind, you can come here. If I can't help you with your mission, I want to at least help you after them." He smiles and looks at you, placing a star-shaped dumpling into your bowl and nods. "That'll be nice..."

Taglist: @61chai-tea @lueurjun @thebangtancloud @nawysstuff @phantom-astra

[stellarsturniolos]

━━ ⟢ ‘ALL MINE’ ╰  C.S.

・ ˖  ✦ ⋄ .  part 2 of practice makes perfect.

warnings: smut, cursing, female receiving, i think that's everything.

A/N: reblogs and likes are appreciated! i do NOT give consent for my work to be copied or uploaded to any other platform. thank you.

it's been two weeks.

two weeks since you last saw chris. since you last answered any of his texts or saw his face.

you haven't been avoiding him per se.

you've just been busy.

at least that's what you told him the one and only time you replied to his many, many, many text messages.

but, truthfully, it was a lie.

you just can't bring yourself to face him. because the last time you saw him, you had his dick in your throat and now all you can think about is doing it again.

and that's just... wrong.

he's your best friend. nothing more.

you miss him. you miss your best friend. you miss the way things were before you knew what he tasted like. before you knew how good his cock felt on your tongue.

you feel so ashamed.

every time you think of him, you can hear his voice. "next time.. i wanna taste you.."

you can't stop yourself from wanting him. your eyes nearly roll back in your head when you imagine how fucking good his tongue would feel on your body. how soft his lips must be.

you groan and toss your head back against the couch cushions.

you reach for your phone and open your text messages with chris. you type, then delete.

type, delete.

type, delete.

you toss your phone across the room and groan again. you're so glad your roommate isn't home to see how desperate and fucking pathetic you've become.

you stand up and trudge into the kitchen. you intend to steal? borrow? one of your roommate's bottles of wine. maybe if you get drunk, you'll forget about chris and how fucking hot he is. how sexy he sounds when he comes undone.

maybe you'll forget. at least for a little while.

but your plan is foiled by a knock at the door.

you wander over to the door and stand up on your toes to gaze through the peephole. your knees instantly begin to shake and the room suddenly feels very cold, even though it's hot as hell in your apartment at all times.

you open the door and force a small smile. "hey.. what are you doing here?"

"i came to see you." chris states. he shoves the door open a bit more and steps inside. "you've been avoiding me. and i wanna know why."

you take several steps back. being so close to him is making you feel things you shouldn't feel. not for your best friend. "i've just been busy.. i told you that.."

"yeah, you did say that. but i don't believe you." he doesn't sound angry. just confused and disappointed. "look, if i said or did something wrong, i'm really sorry. i just want my best friend back."

you don't say anything. you don't know what to say.

"i miss you. matt and nick miss you. you haven't talked to any of us in weeks, and i hate it. if i need to get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness i will, even though i don't even know what i did wrong. i just want you to –,"

you cut him off. "it's not your fault. it's just.. do you remember what happened the last time we hung out?"

he runs his fingers through his hair, one of his nervous habits. "of course i do. how could i forget?"

"okay, well... i can't stop thinking about it." you admit, averting your gaze. you feel the warmth flooding into your cheeks. "and i know it's weird. we're best friends. i shouldn't.. want that.. with you. but i do. and i hate myself for it."

he doesn't speak for a long time. the minutes tick by and feel like months, maybe even years. "if you think you're the only one who can't stop thinking about that, then you're dumber than you look."

you feel the heat in your cheeks intensify, a bright crimson now creeping up your neck. you kinda wish the ground would swallow you whole. "what do you mean?"

"i mean.." he steps closer to you. you can almost feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. "i want you. i've always wanted you.. since we were little kids.."

he reaches out and touches your arm, and you're sure he can feel the goosebumps on your skin. "chris.." you mumble. "are you sure?"

with an affirmative nod, he moves even closer to you, pressing his forehead against yours. "let me prove it to you." he breathes out. you can tell he's just as desperate for this as you are.

you swallow heavily and nod. you feel nervous but you've also never been so fucking turned on in your life.

"can i.. can i taste you? please?" he asks as he tilts his head down and presses his lips to your jaw.

"yes.. please, chris.." your shame is long forgotten as he continues to press kisses to your jawline and down to your neck – sweet pecks quickly turn desperate and hungry.

he grabs your hand and all but drags you into your bedroom. he carefully shoves you down onto the bed and drops to his knees in front of you.

you lift up on your elbows and watch as he runs his hands up and down your thighs.

"keep this riiiiight," he spreads your legs a bit more. "– here. nice and open f'me."

your mouth goes ajar as you feel his lips against the soft skin of your inner thighs. the kisses are gentle at first, but then he starts sucking hungry marks into your flesh before soothing them with his tongue.

you feel him reach for the buttons on your shorts. "if you want me to stop, tell me, 'kay?" he waits for your nod before tugging your shorts and panties down your legs, tossing them aside randomly. "fuuuuck, look at this pretty pussy."

you blush and cover your face with your hands. "shut up."

"no, 'm serious." his hands spread your legs even wider. "you're drippin', baby. so wet f'me. so fucking sexy." he breathes, his eyes burning holes into your cunt as he stares.

you whine as you feel his fingers brush against your folds, gathering some of the wetness there. he lifts his fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean. "shiiiit, pretty girl. you taste so fuckin' good. knew you would."

you watch as he licks his lips hungrily. you can see the desperation in his eyes, and you know you must look the same way.

"gonna let me taste you for real, sweetheart?" he smirks as you let out another whimper.

"yes, please – just.. fuck, chris.. i want you so bad.." you beg, feeling the last bit of shame bleed out of you as you tangle your fingers in his hair and try to guide him down to where you need him the most.

"i got you, baby," he looks back down, completely enticed by your sopping pussy. his fingers trail up your inner thighs as he slowly leans closer. and then finally, you feel his warm tongue soothing the ache between your thighs.

he licks from your entrance to your clit before sucking hard.

"how's that feel, huh?" the firm press of his tongue against your clit causes your legs to tremble on either side of him. "tastes so fuckin' sweet, baby. mmm."

he slurps and sucks up your slick. he moans against you, plunging his tongue into your entrance while his fingers play with your clit.

filthy, lewd, loud noises come from both of you. your gut tightens as you eagerly try to rock your hips against his face. chris groans into you, moving to suck at your clit as his fingers dip inside your pulsating walls.

you cry out his name as everything goes white, embarrassingly fast. chris' tongue moves back to your hole, slurping up any juices he can get, desperate to linger on you and taste every bit of you that he can.

as you come down from your high, you gently push on his forehead, trying to get away from the overstimulation.

he presses one final kiss to your convulsing pussy and looks up at you with a satisfied grin.

"this pussy is all mine now. y'know that, right?"

[hyunjincanraptoo]

hii could i ask for #11 please? 🫶🏼 ur prompts are amazingg

Hi, anon, ofc!! Thank you 🫶 I really wanted to make something different from the prompts I see out there, I'm glad you liked 💜

(this one is another I'm feeling tempted to write part 2 👀)

This is from my prompt list. Pick a number and send it to my asks.

Warnings: smut, blowjob

Word count: 1.1k

Alexa, play Casual by Chappell Roan

Car sex (I know isn't exactly sex but it's what I felt writing)

The night had been full of laughter, clinking glasses, and the kind of tipsy conversations that came with too many drinks. You had a great time, but now, in the passenger seat of Hyunjin’s car, things felt different. Your energy was starting to settle, leaving you with a sense of desire that was beginning to overtake your mind.

Hyunjin, however, wasn’t in the same mood. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his jaw clenched as he focused on the road ahead. He hadn’t said much since you both left the bar. His eyes, though, flickered to you from time to time, and you could tell he wasn’t exactly happy with the way the night had gone.

“I told you not to drink so much, didn’t I?”, he muttered, his voice tight, his usual cool demeanor replaced with irritation, “You always do this, Yn. You don’t think when you’re drunk”. You could tell he was trying to keep his cool, but the annoyance was evident. The way his lips pressed into a thin line, the way he kept his eyes on the road, not letting you distract him.

You leaned closer, your breath warm against his neck, “I’m fine”, you muttered softly, “I was just having fun. Don’t be so serious…”. It was then that your hand slipped, slowly at first, fingers brushing over his thigh. The motion was subtle, but it didn't take long before you were gently rubbing him through his pants. You could feel his muscles tense under your touch, the heat of his body responding to you, and it only made your pulse quicken.

“Yn, what are you doing?”, his voice was lower now, as he glanced over at you for a fraction of second. His grip on the wheel tightened again, knuckles pale. He was trying to stay focused, but you could tell how badly you were distracting him.

"I just want to make you feel good, Hyunie", you murmured, your fingers moving a little bolder, putting even more pressure. His cock twitched under your touch, and you smiled at the effect you were having on him. The alcohol in your system made everything feel so much more intense— the need to touch, to feel, to drive him crazy.

You slid your hand higher, brushing against his growing arousal, and that’s when he snapped. “Stop. Right now.” His voice was hard, commanding, but you could hear the breathlessness beneath it. His heart was racing, “You’re gonna get us both killed”. But your drunk neurons didn't care. The need for him, the way his body reacted to your touch, it drove you wild, got you intoxicated even. You needed him, and you needed him now.

Before he could scold you again, you moved faster, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, your lips brushing against the soft skin of his neck. “You’re too stressed”, you said, your breath hot, “Just let go, Hyunjin. Let me help you relax”.

He swore under his breath, hands shaking now as he brought the car to the side of the road, pulling over sharply, “This is dangerous”, he said, his voice low, shaky, as his gaze locked onto yours. He was so clearly fighting with himself, wanting you, but knowing how reckless it was to be doing this in the car while driving.

You couldn't care less. Your hand slid down to the waistband of his jeans, opening with practiced ease, your fingers brushing his hard member. Hyunjin’s eyes closed, a quiet moan escaping his lips. He bit his lip, looking like he was holding himself together by a thread.

“Yn…”, his voice was a mix of frustration and desperation, but you didn’t notice. You were already sliding your hand inside, finally feeling the warmth of him— his thick length already leaking. The sensation sent a jolt of pleasure through your own body. You could feel him twitching against your palm, his breath coming in shallow bursts.

“You’re so hard”, you whispered, your voice heavy with desire as you stroked him gently, teasingly. The car was now completely still, the only sounds were the quiet hum of the engine and the soft rustling of your movements. You leaned over, never breaking eye contact with him. His gaze was a mix of disbelief and hunger as you slowly took him into your mouth.

The first swirl of your tongue made him gasp, his hands clutching the steering wheel as he tried to hold on to the little control he had left. You moved slowly at first, savoring the taste of him, the way he trembled under your touch, the way his hands tugged at your hair. He was trying to keep it together, but the more you took him in, the more he lost himself in the pleasure you were giving him.

“Fuck, Yn”, he groaned, his head thrown back as you took him deeper, your hands working the parts of him your mouth couldn’t reach. You could feel the tension building in his body, the way his chest was rising and falling with every breath, how he gripped the seat in an attempt to anchor himself. His voice, low and broken, cut though the silence, “If you don’t stop… I’m not gonna last much longer”.

Well, that was the point. You moved faster, your mouth sucking him with purpose, with all the desire you felt. You wanted him so badly, wanted to take him as deep into your throat as you could. He was close, you could feel it, and you wanted to bring him to the edge, make him come undone in your mouth.

With a low, guttural groan, he finally reached his peak, his cock twitching as he released into your mouth. You swallowed, taking it all, your body still trembling. Hyunjin’s breath came in ragged gasps as he leaned back against the seat, trying to pull himself together. You smiled softly, wiping your mouth as you sat back up, the silence between you both heavy. “You’re insane”, he said, his voice still shaky. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at you with a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction, “You can’t just do that when I’m driving, babe. You know that, right?”

You smirked, leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips, “I couldn’t help it. You make me want you all the time”. His hand cupped your face gently, his thumb brushing over your lips, “We’ll talk about it later”, he muttered, but there was a small smile tugging at his lips. “You’re lucky I can't resist to you as well”. You just laughed, feeling the tension between you two ease, knowing that no matter how reckless the moment was, you both couldn’t deny how good it felt.

If you enjoyed it please consider liking and reblogging. Feedbacks, loves notes and requests are very much appreciated 😊

[roanniom]

hi issa! i hope all is well and im so glad you’re back! you are literally one of the best writers ever (and literally my favorite person who writes for eddie) ! i hope you’re day is going good 💛

i would love to request cute; needy eddie phone call (you can make it spicy if you want), maybe the reader went on a girls trip and the reader calls him once at the hotel and he is just miserable 😩

Hi there anon! I'm doing okay, but writing is making everything better. Super happy to do this request.

On the Line

Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, NSFW, phone sex, dirty talk, masturbation

"Eddie. I've been gone for half a day. I was literally with you this morning." You try to make your voice sound reproachful, but your smile cannot be hidden. You're in your hotel room getting ready to go down for dinner with your friends.

"I knowwww, don't remind me. It has been AGONY!"

You hear a muted thump which you imagine to be Eddie throwing himself on his couch near the landline.

"Well what are you doing to distract yourself from this agony?" you ask with amusement.

"I tried touching myself, but I'll be honest, it's more effective now that I can hear your voice, babe."

"EDDIE MUNSON!"

"Whaaaat? What else is there to do?"

"I don't know. Go outside? Maybe touch some grass, you fucking horn dog," you laugh, laying back on the hotel bed.

"I can't exactly go jerk off on the grass, Mrs. Jenkins said she'd call the cops if she ever caught me doing that again - ,"

"Eddie. I will smack you."

"Ugh, don't make promises you can't keep. What do you think I've been imagining?"

You slap an exasperated hand over your face and Eddie moans.

"What was that? Smacking your own ass to give me some auditory stimulation, princess? Do it again!"

"No, that was me covering my eyes from the shame of having such a perverted boyfriend."

"Don't pretend you aren't just as perverted, sweetheart. Even Mrs. Jenkins knows, with how loud you usually are - ,"

"Edward. Munson."

"Mmmm yeah. Say my name, baby."

You can't help but dissolve into laughter at the absurdity of it all.

"Are you actually touching yourself right now?"

"Think about that question for a second. Really let that simmer for me."

Suddenly you hear the most obscene, wet squelching coming from the phone. It's so sudden and so rapid that you pull the phone away from your ear for a second. Clearly Eddie had put the receiver down where he was...taking care of himself.

"Eddie..." you say, but this time it is less reproachful and more breathless.

"Princess." His voice is less humorous now. A little deeper. A little scratchy.

"I have to go in a few minutes..." you trail off wistfully. You've begun to tune into Eddie's more labored breathing.

"Sure about that?"

His voice is gruff. You want to laugh but suddenly find that you can't.

"You know I can still smell your perfume in this fucking trailer, right? Like a god damn temptress. Why would you do that to me, honey?"

The phone is clearly by his lips as you can hear him loud and clear. But similarly loud and clear is the sound of his hand on his cock. Now moving furiously.

But you're not the only one hearing new things.

"I can hear you breathing heavier, baby." Eddie says it conspiratorially. There is the distinct sound of a smile on his lips.

"Yeah well you're turning me on. I'm only fricken human, you know."

"No. I don't know that. Pretty sure you're a goddess." Eddie finishes his statement with a groan. "So what are you wearing...my goddess."

You clutch the phone to your ear and look down at your outfit.

"Well, we're all going out tonight so I'm wearing that sparkly top that you said was too sexy for The Hideout."

"Are you fucking with me right now, sweetheart?" Eddie chokes out. You imagine that he's gripping himself, trying not to cum at the mere image of you in the revealing garment. "You mean to tell me...we've been talking all this time and your tits have just been...out?"

"I'm not naked, Eddie. It's just low cut," you argue, but your body begins to heat up all the same.

"Low cut, huh?" he asks gruffly. "Why don't you reach into that low cut top and touch yourself for me then."

"Oh...kay." You don't even fight him. Your hand cups your breast under the fabric.

"Make sure to pinch and twist your nipples a little. For me."

As if pleasuring yourself will inherently bring him physical pleasure. Which you guess it does, because when you inhale sharply at the feeling, Eddie lets out a moan. You hesitate for a second.

"Is Wayne - ,"

"At work. Don't bring up that old man when I'm so close to cumming." Eddie barks with frustration. You release a breathy chuckle.

"You're already close?"

"Babe. I've been touching myself for hours. I've been on the edge this whole conversation."

"Yeah?" you ask, egging him on.

"Yeah, baby. I'm about to blow hearing your sweet voice."

"Well....you should know that I'm wet." You're being honest. The idea of having to go downstairs in a few minutes is becoming less appealing by the second.

"Oh fuck."

"Yeah. I really want to touch myself, baby."

"Do it." Eddie practically orders.

"I can't," you say, though one of your hands does begin to slide south, between your breasts, down the plane of your stomach, to cup yourself beneath your skirt. You keep the phone cradled between your ear and your shoulder so you can keep one hand on your breast, fingers tweaking your nipple.

"I need you, baby." It comes out more submissive than his previously demanding tone. You lower your voice to match.

"I know, Eddie. Can you cum for me?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah? You'll cum for me?" You hear his breathing pick up. From the sound of his stroking, he's right there. You rub your palm over your clothed pussy, feeling your clit ache with need.

"Fuck. Yeah I'll...fuck."

"That's it baby, cum for me."

The gasping and sputtering on the other side of the phone overwhelms you and you find yourself grinding against your hand in vain. You won't be able to take care of yourself. Not yet at least. But you know that when you get back to your hotel room later tonight, one of those pillows are really in for it.

"Fuuuck, princess."

"That good, huh?" you ask, cheekily.

"Don't act all proud of yourself," Eddie admonishes playfully. "There's nobody here to clean me up."

Your heart (and pussy) pound at the reference to the way you usually lick up the evidence of his pleasure.

"I'll be back before you know it, handsome."

Eddie sighs.

"You have to go now, don't you." It isn't a question. You laugh.

"I had to go fifteen minutes ago. But I guess you had to cum first."

~*~

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Thanks for reading! Please let me know what your favorite part was!

[missnxthingg]

Hiii, i saw that you wanted some requests with Lando:

Lando and Reader met through a mutual friend. They met only about 3-4 months ago and have been talking almost every day since then. Both have fallen for each other but are too scared to admit it, feeling like it would be too soon/ quick. One day or night, after another win for Lando where the reader was invited to the Grand Prix and staying at the same hotel, they spend some time alone, just talking. At some point, the conversation becomes quiet, and Lando suddenly says, "I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the shit out of me."

WE CAN'T BE (JUST) FRIENDS ✮ LN4

pairing: Lando Norris x Female!Reader (strangers to lovers) summary: After meeting each other through mutual friends, Lando Norris and Y/N L/N became strangely close in such little time words: 4.5K - warnings: lots of fluff, just a tiny bit of swearing and not proof read author's notes: I thought this one was already up for a loooong time. So that being said, I'm sorry for taking too long to get to your request. I just loved it so much, that I wanted to make sure everything was perfectly written for you. This one is to celebrate the WCC!

main masterlist | main blog | taglist

The loud music and the lights of the club were making Lando’s head spin, but he enjoyed that feeling. Every summer break, he finds some time to escape from his routine and run away with his friends to enjoy his days and nights in Ibiza. Tonight it wasn’t different; he had been having the time of his life with his friends so far and, at that moment, he was being dragged around the club by Pietra, his best friend’s girlfriend, as she looked around for one of her friends.

“I swear to you, she’s the sweetest girl in the world”, she told him earlier that day, while they were lounging by the pool and enjoying the sun in Spain. “She’s this girl I met in uni, and it’s pathetic how much you’re alike. I’ve actually been dying to introduce her to our friend group”.

“P, I know what you’re doing”, Lando chuckled. “And I’m not looking forward into being in a relationship at the moment, despite yours and Max’s attempts”.

On the past few months, his best friend and his girlfriend have made it their personal commitment to find Lando a new girl. Even though he was living a dreamy life, with success, wealth and every girl he ever wanted, they both knew it got very lonely for his friend. They wanted him to find someone who would care and love him as he deserves, and couldn’t help but try helping him in this journey. But after getting his heart broken in his last relationship, he wasn’t really interested in dating at the moment.

“Fuck, no! I don’t want you to date her. Despite her being, literally, your clone, I really want Y/N to just be part of our friend group. Because she’s a really nice person that I think we would love to be around, and she doesn’t have many friends since she moved to London recently”, Pietra explained. “And I would actually be very happy if you don’t fuck things up by trying to sleep with her”.

Lando knew that Pietra was lying; deep down, it was just another one of her schemes to try playing cupid in his life. But he couldn’t help but feel intrigued by her story. If she thought this girl was so special to the point where she didn’t want him to hit on her, then there must be something really good in her. That’s why he was now looking for Y/N around the busy and hot club in Ibiza after an entire afternoon wondering what she would be like.

“Oh, there she is!”, Pietra pointed out to a girl looking a little bit lost at the club, right close to the entrance. She smiled once she spotted her friend, relieved to finally see a familiar face after an entire day alone. “You finally made it! I’m so glad you’re here”

“I know, right? It’s good to finally escape our rainy London and get a tan”, the girl giggled and suddenly her eyes caught Lando’s at mid-sentence. He was speechless at the sight of her, forgetting how to speak, breath or move, for that matter.

Y/N was clearly one of the most attractive girls he had ever seen in his life. That night, she was wearing a strapless light green, almost white, dress that perfectly highlighted her curves. Her hair was tied in a bun, and it helped to show off her tan bikini lines. She just exhales a sweet aura, and he was instantly fascinated by her. If she was half of the things Pietra said about her, then Lando was sure she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

“Lando, this is Y/N, my friend from uni that I was talking about earlier”, Pietra introduced. “And Y/N, this is Lando, Max’s best friend”.

“It’s very nice to finally meet you, Lando. P talks very highly of you”, Y/N extended her hand and Pietra had to pinch his arm in order to get him out of his trance, taking her hand into his.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N”, he responded, opening the biggest smile. Contrary to his usual behaviour around girls, he decided to stick with his sympathetic smile, instead of his flirty one, just because something said that he should try being different with this girl. His sixth sense was right, and there was something very special about her. “And same here. She always goes on and on about how nice you are. I’m glad to finally put a face to the name”.

“Come on! We have a table near the DJ booth and everyone else is waiting for us”, Pietra entwined her arms with both of her friends, settling between them before she dragged them around the club.

Lando doesn’t remember the last time he felt butterflies in his stomach. It had been so long that he had forgotten what it was like. It hit him so hard that he had to take a few seconds before coming back to reality and used a shot of tequila to help him get his mind back together; or at least let loose for a second and forget about that feeling. While it was very good, it was still very scary to feel that way.

“Didn’t even wait for me to do shots”, Lando heard Y/N’s voice speak from behind him as he put the tiny cup back on the bar counter. She found a spot right next to him and waited for the bartender, who was now serving another group of friends right next to them.

“I didn’t know you wanted shots”, he admitted. “But I can join you, if you want”.

“I’m just joking”, she giggled. “I’m not doing shots, I’m sorry. I just wanted a drink, thought that maybe teasing would break the ice”.

“Oh, good, because I think I might puke if I down another shot of tequila”, he laughed along and gestured to the bartender to get her order. “This lady here wants a…”

“Mojito, please”, she asked and he quickly started doing her order. Lando, being the gentleman he is, kept her company while she waited for her drink. “Something refreshing, right? It’s so damn hot tonight”.

“Yeah, I’ve been here so many times and this might be my hottest summer in Ibiza”.

“Really? It's my first time in Spain, to be honest. I was very excited when Pietra invited me to join”.

“Oh, you're going to love it. If you're a party person like me, then you might've found your perfect holiday destination”.

And Y/N definitely was a party person like him. In fact, Lando was surprised to find how much alike they were. She loved golfing, since she grew on courts around the world following her dad, a professional golfer. She loved music, and especially creating music, and knew how to play various instruments and was very good at mixing songs, and gave a try at DJing a lot of times. She was also from England's countryside, and had recently just moved to London to study Public Relations. And she most definitely had the best sense of humour, with sassy comments that could make him laugh for days.

Lando was absolutely fascinated by her. And he found it very funny how easy it was to start and maintain conversation with her. It was like they had known each other for years; like they knew each other from other lives. He simply couldn’t ignore how much he felt alive again, like she had reignited the fire on his chest once again.

Maybe that's what love at first sight feels like.

“You should come stay with us at the villa”, Lando asked, as he dropped her off at her hotel. They had taken a walk all the way back, since the club wasn't so far away from where they were staying. “There's a spare room, you know? And I don’t want you to be left out of all the fun”.

“I really don't want to bother you”, she opened a shy smile and looked away to the ocean, where the sun had started to rise.

“Please, if the people that bother me were 10% of you, my life would've been so easy”, he admitted, making her laugh. as he did all night. “You're really cool, Y/N”.

“Thanks, I think you're really cool too”, she opened a shy smile at him before pointing back to her hotel entrance. “I think I might need to get going. But I'll think about your proposal”.

“If you want to, the doors to the villa are always opened”.

After that one night in Ibiza, there was not a single day that Lando and Y/N didn’t talk to each other. It was almost funny how this friendship bloomed out of nowhere, and that's all that it was: a friendship. Before anything, Lando was really happy with what they had created, where he could live carefree. He didn’t have to be the Lando Norris, F1 driver for McLaren, that everyone had a love and hate relationship. He was just a boy that loved having time with his friends, giggling until his belly hurt and playing video games until sunrise.

For Y/N, it was good too. Ever since she moved to London, she found it difficult to create real deep connections with people. Pietra was a close case, and she absolutely loved having her as a friend; but Lando was different. He understood her in some ways no one ever did, like an instant connection written in the stars. It was like they knew each other from other lives.

"Don't become a stranger", Lando told her as they were saying their goodbyes at the end of their trip. "I know I'm not around London often, but you can always text and call me, if you want”.

He got shy with his words, afraid she would take them the wrong way. Lando looked down to the ground and played with the car keys in his hands. He only looked up when she laughed and pulled him into a hug. It caught him by surprise, but he melted into her embrace a few seconds later. That's the type of person she is – one that likes to show people how much she likes them.

"You'll be tired of seeing my face, Norris. I can assure you that".

And she kept that promise, because the months that followed that summer break completely changed their lives. It started with small things like her joining their gaming sessions when he was in Monaco, and him always taking time to see her whenever he was in England for an MTC day. They would either grab some coffee or hang out with friends. Not to forget that, when he was away racing, he made sure to maintain contact through texting and calling. 

But things started to change once they got more intimate. It all started with golfing sessions with friends, and ended up with him being invited to play with her father on the countryside. Then he invited her for an early birthday celebration with his family at his parents’ house. Not to mention the countless times they spent alone at her house in London and his flat in Monaco; literally crossing the ocean just to see each other.

“Really, the benefit of having a rich F1 driver as a friend is this”, Y/N pointed to the view of his flat, where the ocean waves crashed on the rocks and the breeze brought the comforting smell of the salty water to her nose. It was sunny in Monte Carlo, and she had been wearing a pink crochet mini shorts, a bikini and one of his white tshirts, to keep her warm while they were inside.

“You can’t get this while it’s raining all the time in London, right?”, he chuckled, still sitting on his couch. She turned her head back at him and shrugged. “You stole my shirt”.

“You left it hanging around the house”, she teased. “Can we please go to the beach now?”

“What? Don’t you like spending time with me?”

“Not inside the house, when the sun is so shiny outside”.

Lando sat back in silence and admired her for a second. The sun made her skin and her hair glow, and she looked almost angelic under the light. She hadn’t done anything special or was making an effort to look good. She was simply… beautiful. And he felt his heart soften more and more while he looked at her.

“I like spending time with you anywhere”, he commented, making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. Lando got up from his seat and approached her, leaning against the railing to also look at the view. “I’m glad you came. I think I might’ve exploded if I had to leave for three weeks and not see you before I go”.

“Well, I would never deny the opportunity to come to Monaco”, she said, and after a few seconds, she completed. “Or to see you”.

Lando opened a big smile at her. At most times, she makes him feel like a teenage boy, with butterflies in his stomach and a vivid blush on his cheeks. But he didn’t mind it by now. Actually, he started to like how he feels whenever she’s around. Y/N became a reason for him to keep smiling every day.

“Come on, let’s go to the beach”, he broke the ice, getting up from his seat to finally leave the four walls of his flat.

Y/N considered that her best day in Monaco. Lando drove her to a beautiful private beach, where she got to have a few drinks, lounge by the ocean and renovate her tan. He stood right by her side, as they talked about nothing and everything. Just like the night they met, it was so easy to make conversation with her. They never die out of subjects to talk about; and if they did, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

After lunch, he surprised her with a jet ski ride through the crystal waters of Monte Carlo. He had done it many times, but it was so cool to hear her giggles in his ears, while she held onto him to keep her steady. They felt so happy to feel the warmth of each other’s skins touching as she hugged him from behind.

The day ended with them sitting at a deck restaurant, with a great view of the sundown in the ocean. They shared drinks and had a laugh while playing a card game as a duo. Y/N won twice, and was shuffling the cards to win her third round in a roll. And while she did it, Lando took it as an invitation to observe her; the few strays that weren’t tied in her bun falling over her face, the relaxed smile on her lips and the way her skin glowed with her trapless dress. She was breathtaking. And once he was gone for another triple header, he would miss her so much.

After three days of purely Y/N, he started to worry how much her absence would have an effect on him. In such short time, he got used to her humming while doing her morning eggs to go with her avocado toast, and how she was always up to joining him at his quick gym session before going out for the day. He loved the company for mundane things such as buying groceries, watching TV and driving. Then he got sad just by thinking this would be over in a day, when their weekend would’ve passed by, and he would have to fly to Austin.

“I’m gonna miss you so much when I’m gone”, he blurted out, making her look up from her cards, straight into his eyes. They softened at his words, and she stopped shuffling cards once she understood what he was saying.

“It’s not forever, you know that”, she tried comforting him. But deep down, her heart also ached just by thinking about going for three weeks without seeing him, just after having an overdose of Lando.

“Yeah, but I’ve grown so used to your company that it will be hard to go without you”.

Y/N didn’t want to agree with his words, but she understood every single one of them. Ever since they sat at that table, she was only thinking how much it would hurt once he was away, and she would have to go back to her routine.

“Let’s not think about it right now. We still have one more day to enjoy together”, she distributed the cards for one more round, and Lando thought that was her way out of the subject. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way about him leaving. Maybe he was stepping too far into this friendship. 

After all, who gets this attached to a person after only four months since you met?

“And… I win again!”, she declared, putting her last cards down at the table and making Lando groan in frustration.

“If this was a racing track, I surely wouldn’t be losing”, he complained, making her roll her eyes.

“Well, I’ve never seen it in real life”, she shrugged, shuffling the cards in her hands. “What guarantees that the TV isn’t manipulating us all into thinking you’re winning races?”

“Then come and watch one with your own eyes”, he suggested, and the table turned silent. 

Y/N and Lando had broken many barriers in this friendship, but she never went as far as stepping foot into his job. Of course, he invites a lot of his friends to join him on the paddock, even flying them across the world to have a crowd of his own in the garage. But so far, he had never asked her. And Y/N was burning her brain out, thinking that, if she accepted this invite, he would think she was stepping too much into his privacy.

“I don’t want to bother you”.

“That’s exactly what you said the night we met. And if you hadn’t bothered me back then, we wouldn’t be friends today”, he pointed out with a smile on his face. “Pietra and Max are coming to Abu Dhabi. Maybe my mom and dad as well, but you already know them. So, you’ll have company once I’m out on track if you want to join us”.

Lando was apprehensive with her response. His mind was telling him that she wasn’t interested in coming, but he had trapped her into this proposal. But he learned to trust Y/N over time, and the smile she gave him assured that she wasn’t lying about her response.

“I would love to join you, Lando”, she said. “And I will miss you too, muppet”.

Saying goodbye the next day was hard. He held onto her a little bit longer before letting her go at the airport, and made sure to slip one of his bracelets into her wrist, just so she could have a little piece of him while he was gone. Y/N, wanting to repeat the gesture, took off her teddy bear necklace and tied it around his neck.

“I know it’s a little bit feminine, but it’s something for you to carry with you”.

“My good luck charm”, he smiled as he held the bear between his fingers. “I love it”.

“Have a safe trip”, she kissed his cheek and hugged him again. “And remember to call me every night”.

“Always”, he winked, before waving her off to pass security on the airport. “I’ll see you soon”.

“In the blink of an eye”.

Both of them really wished it was as quick as the blink of an eye. Lando remembers having only her face on his mind on his way home, and again once he was flying to Texas. He held her teddy bear between his hands every time his chest got a little tighter and carried on with the routine of calling her every night. But it definitely wasn’t the same. Y/N was going through the same thing, except that she didn’t have racing to distract her from how much she missed him. And when it got rougher, she would turn into sports news programs just to see his face, and onto the race transmissions, to see him in action.

“Congratulations on P2”, she said when he called her later on that Sunday night, after he finished on the podium in Mexico. He was getting ready to go out for dinner, but never before hearing her voice. “You did very well today”.

“Not enough to win the championship”.

“But you did good. Don’t martyr yourself”.

“I'm not. It just…”, he sighed, not knowing how to finish the sentence. “Anyway, Carlos is dragging me to have dinner with his family, and then maybe go out partying. But I just wanted to talk to you before you pass out”.

“Look at you, keeping your promise of calling every day”, she pointed out. “I appreciate it”.

“Me too. Talking to you is always the best part of the day”, he admitted, and the air shifted between them. Y/N didn't reply, but she felt all of those words warm her chest. Even without a response, he knew she felt the same. “Just one more race and I'm home”.

“So enjoy every moment, and we'll see each other soon”.

“I miss you”, he added, making Y/N smile through the phone. It was the three words he always repeated at the end of every call.

That was everything Lando could think about lately. Why did he get so attached to a person he only knew for a couple of months? It scared him how much he likes her, because it has been a while since he last felt such strong feelings for someone. He didn’t even have the heart to tell her how he feels and potentially ruin everything. Loosing her would be an absolute nightmare scenario.

“I miss you too”, she replied. “Can’t wait to see your ugly face”.

“And I can’t wait to see your pretty one”, he flirted, which made her blush from the other side of the line. Luckily, he couldn’t see the effect he had on her. “I’ll be on my first flight home, I promise”.

“Go enjoy your night with Carlos, muppet”, she chuckled. “Good night, Lan”.

“Good night, Y/N. Sleep tight”.

Their reunion in London after the Brazilian Grand Prix was quick, but very warm. Lando turned 25 and got to spend an entire week next to the people he cherished the most, including Y/N, who prepared an entire day of pampering and golfing for the birthday boy. But he left to quick for the last triple header of the year.

While it was painful to leave again, they were both excited about the last race of the season, even without any real chances of him winning the driver's championship any more. It would be the first time she would step somewhere so important for him, and he was willing to do anything to at least finish on the podium to see her smile.

After another two weeks without each other, Lando opened the biggest smile to see her walking down the hotel lobby on Thursday before the race. He had gone through a long media day and wanted nothing more to just have dinner and relax. And he surely did relax once she pulled him into a comforting hug that made him let go of all the tension he had been carrying.

“Thank God you’re finally here”, he sighed, taking in her scent and enjoying the warmth of her body on his. It didn’t matter if it was burning hot outside, and that he was sweaty from the weather, he still wanted her as close as possible for as long as he could.

“Wouldn’t miss it for anything”, she assured. “You have a constructors' championship to celebrate, after all”.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself”, he pulled her to walk towards the lift with him, keeping her secured by his side with a hand on her waist. “I haven’t won anything yet”.

“I’m sure you’re gonna make something magical for me”.

“God, I hope so”, he chuckled. “Your first race! Better make it special”.

“You will. I trust you”.

And what he did on track was amazing. After a couple of terrible race finishes, Lando showed pure dominance at the last race of the season. Securing pole position and carrying it on until the very end, when he won the GP, and even getting the fastest lap for one last time at this round. The perfect race to bring the championship home to McLaren; and Y/N was there to witness it all.

“You stink of champagne”, she pointed out when they were back at his hotel room. Everyone had gone to get ready to party and he definitely needed a shower after getting soaked by his team’s celebration. After all, it’s not every day when you become a constructor champion in Formula 1.

“And I’m definitely a little bit drunk from the podium”, he giggled as he threw his tired body on bed. Lando didn’t care if he was dirty; he just needed a little bit of rest before going back to the outside world. Right at that moment, he was happy to be in the quiet and safeness of his room, in Y/N’s presence.

“But it’s all worthy, isn’t it?”, she asked, getting herself a tiny spot in bed right next to him. She couldn’t help but notice the content smile on his lips, the ‘mission accomplished’ aura. It was like this win had lifted an enormous weight from his shoulders.

“Yeah, it is”, he agreed. “All worth it to make you impressed”.

“I’m always impressed by you”, she shyly replied, keeping her voice low as she got herself distracted with the sequins of her bag, using her fingers to roll them around. 

“I’m glad this is the one you saw live”, he started playing with the sequins as well, but his green eyes quickly found hers as they played together. She could feel the flames on her chest and the heat on her cheeks as he looked into her eyes. It was like he could see past her soul. “Thank you for being here”.

“Thank you for asking me to come”, she shot back. They couldn’t tear their eyes away from each other, and the more they stared, the more confused about their feelings they got. It was already a big incognita in their heads, and surely this rush of emotions weren’t helping them at all. “Won’t you go get ready to celebrate?”

“I just need a minute of quietness”, he explained, now closing his eyes and breaking the contact with Y/N’s for once. She silently sighed in relief and went back to playing with her purse. “The calm after the storm”.

“And before”, she chuckled, making him agree with a grin. “It gets too loud sometimes, right? The media, the fans, the adrenaline…”

“Louder than I'd like to admit”, he chuckled, his eyes flickering towards her once again. “God knows how much they tried painting me as the villain this year. It pisses me off, but… the people that know me will always have my back. And it's good to share moments like this. It's what keeps me grounded. And in the end, it’s all about the people who are there for you when it’s quiet. Like you, right now”.

“You know I'll always have your back. If you ever need someone to hold your hand, I'll be right here”, Y/N stopped playing with her purse and rested her hand on top of his. 

A small moment of silence lingered in the air, but it wasn't awkward at all; it was comfortable. After a while, they learned how to appreciate each other's presence solely and enjoy the quiet. It was in moments like this they truly know what they got by their side.

“You know you're not at all what I thought you would be”, Y/N admitted. “When Pietra said you're an F1 driver, I thought you'd be more… full of yourself. A little bit arrogant. And from the first moment we met, you were humble and you were kind. Not to mention that the past few months have been nothing more than a Lando 101, learning how much of a good person you are. I'm glad I can be vulnerable with you”.

“I'm glad I didn’t meet your first expectations”, they chuckled together. “Honestly, not a lot of people see what you're saying. To everyone, I'm the bad driver that says a lot of shit to the media. But you've seen past all of that”.

A brief silence falls between them both. The atmosphere shifts slightly, the comfortable chatter fading away once again. Y/N zones out for a while, but when she comes back to her senses, Lando is looking at her. His lips are slightly parted, as if he was trying to come up with words to say. But his face is glowing a little bit more than before. The realization had just dawned on him, and after months of being insecure about his own feelings, he simply decided to be honest with her.

Lando swallowed the lump on his throat and his tone got more serious. He looked down to his hands, taking the courage to speak, before looking her in the eyes again.

“I think I’m in love with you. And that scares the shit out of me”.

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, it was like the world outside had gone quiet. Lando paid close attention to her reaction, and all Y/N got to do was gasp and slightly widen her eyes. She didn’t know how to react to this; and most definitely didn't know how to reply to such a confession.

“I know it's mental. I don’t like feeling like I'm rushing in and fucking things up. But it's just… it's just that I've never felt like this before. Like, the past year, I thought I could just have fun, enjoy my youth, focus on my career and so on. But then you came along, and... it’s different with you. You make everything feel… right. And it scares me. I’m not good with this stuff. Not with real feelings”.

Lando was nervous with her response, but the way she squeezed his hands while staying in silence assured him that he didn't fuck everything up.

“Lan, I don't know what to say”, she smiled nervously, flickering her fingers between his and trying to control her breath.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just needed to say it. I don’t think I could keep on pretending like it's nothing. Like being in love with you isn't consuming me”, he admitted. “Every time I leave you, my heart breaks a little bit more. And every time I don’t get to call you mine, it pains me. And I'm scared of how much I love you. Scared I'm not good enough for you. Scared this is rushed in”.

“You don’t have to be scared. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But I’m here. I’m listening”, she assured him, hands still firmly holding onto his.

“You're not freaking out?”, he frowned, making her laugh at his reaction before shaking her head no.

“Lando, sometimes I think you think too much into things. You worry too much about what people think of you, and that includes me”, she analyzed. “You think I'm freaking out because I still haven't come up with the right words to say I'm in love with you too”.

He opened that boyish and genuine smile once again, and tried biting it away when he got shy. It was nice to know she felt the same. And it was even nicer to know he found someone to be truly vulnerable with.

“I've never been good at letting someone in, and I most definitely have some problems with self doubt. But you, Y/N, somehow made it easier. You understand me. And I'm happy to have found someone that sees right through me. I hope I can be at least 10% of that for you someday”.

Y/N didn’t even notice that she was leaning into him, or that she was now playing with the collar of his shirt. Lando was so close, to the point that she could smell the champagne on his breath, and it was intoxicating. It felt amazing to be seen by him.

“Lan, you understand me more than you think. And you have more impact on me than you can imagine”, she chuckled shyly. “We don't need to have it all figured out right away. I just want to be here. With you”.

Her eyes flickered up to his once again, then rolled back to his lips, only to come up again. His gaze softened as he observed her from up close, and automatically, his hand moved up to brush over her cheek. Than, almost in a whisper, he said:

“You’re incredible, you know that? I’ve been waiting for the right moment to say this, but… I don’t want to wait anymore”.

And without another word, Lando leaned forward, his lips gently brushing against hers. He started as a soft kiss, testing the waters and making sure she's comfortable with it. But when Y/N didn’t pull away, he brought her closer and deepened the kiss. His movements became more certain, more desperate. The world around them disappeared, and the only thing that truly mattered was each other. A moment they have been waiting for so long, finally happening.

When he pulled away, Y/N chased his lips, making him smirk now knowing the control he has over her body. Then, as a reward, he pressed a few more pecks before completely stopping to admire her face. His thumbs rubbed circles on her cheek and he looked between her eyes with a huge smile on face.

“I should've done this sooner”, he admitted. “Would've been amazing to have kissed you all those months ago back in Ibiza”.

“To be totally honest, I was kind of disappointed you didn't kiss me that night”, she revealed, making him arch his brows. “I thought you were the cutest boy from the very beginning”.

“Everything happens for a reason, Y/N. If I had kissed you on that trip, maybe we wouldn't be here today”.

“I guess you're right”, she sighed and he gently kissed her again.

“I love you”, he mumbled against her lips.

“I love you too”, she says back, pulling him for another kiss. “But you still stink of champagne. I think you need a shower so we can properly celebrate your win tonight”.

“Alright, bossy”, he joked before pressing a kiss on top of her head.

And just before he closed the bathroom door, he leaned back and smiled again. Lando didn’t say anything, but just admired her one more time before going into the shower. Sometimes his life feels surreal; and tonight, having the girl of his dreams all to himself, it felt more like something designed straight out of his dream.

⤿ add yourself to the taglist!

[totalswag]

hiii i have a req!! 💕 rafe and her are dating, she goes away for a weekend trip with her family but when she and her family are coming back they have to hit the breaks to avoid crashing and she gets whiplash since she was sleeping. She doesn't tell him until she is at the hospital getting checked, he gets there right when the doctor is telling her she needs to use a neck brace for 3 weeks and then he is like super over protective over her even if she says she is fine

this is very self indulgent since it happened to me a week ago 😭

protective rafe ⎯ RAFE CAMERON!

authors note bae i hope you're feeling better now 🥹. i'm sorry you went through that. i'm doing something different with my name titles but will make my final decision wether or not i want keep or change (indecisive atm). NEW THEME TOO YAY! feedback is always appreciated <3

taglist ✎ ̼ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set to go.

masterlist

summary you were sleeping in the car and got whiplash from a potential car accident that led you to wear a neck brace for three weeks. your boyfriend, rafe cameron, is shaken up and does everything he can to do things for you even when you tell him, "i'm fine."

warning(s) possible car accident, whiplash, mentions of possible death, emotional, overprotective, validation.

Your family and you went on small vacation for a couple days to get away from Kildare. It was a much needed break for sure. Everyone had a fun time being with each other until coming home.

Fast asleep with your headphone on when the almost accident occurred. You don't remember anything expect getting whiplash that sent you to the hospital to get checked.

Your parent's explained to the nurses what happened⎯your dad quickly slamming on his breaks and swerving to the side to avoid an accident when this car cut in front. Everyone glad to be alive.

Not being able to comprehend what's going on in the hospital room. All you can see is your parent's speaking with the nurses. Letting out a slow groan from the slight pain from your neck.

With a troubled and relieved look on her face, your mother knelt down in front of you and exclaimed, "Oh sweetie, so glad to see you awake, how do you feel?"

"I'm okay mom, just really sore around my neck that's all," you say with a gentle laugh, gesturing with your pointer finger towards your neck.

You felt lucky to be alive.

"It's okay, the nurse said you'll have soreness for awhile. Someone is gonna come explaining everything." your dad says with a look on his face that show's he's glad to see you awake.

Not even thirty seconds later, Rafe enters the room with such anxiety on his face—his chest is pounding and his eyes are frenzied, as though he hurried inside.

"What took place? Is everything all right? Before giving your parents a hug, he asks, scanning the room for answers.

"She'll be fine as long as she takes it easy and wears the brace," the doctor reassured him.

The doctor gives you all the information needed, and a couple papers that has additional information incase your neck is feeling odd. The nurse was very empathetic and respectful.

Three weeks with a neck brace on. There's gonna be certain things you'll need assistance for. Other than that, you feel confident to do majority things on your own.

The second you got back home, he hovered like a shadow. He was fluffing your pillows, adjusting your brace, refusing to let you lift so much as a finger.

He tracked your every step, waking up before you to see if you needed anything. He even took your phone from you more than once because he thought scrolling too much was "bad for your neck."

"Rafe, I'm fine," you said one night, placing your hand on his chest as he worried about your brace for the third time in an hour.

He breathed sharply, and his blue eyes softened as he cupped your cheek. "Okay, but what if you weren't? "What if it had been worse?" His voice was low, almost broken, and it made your heart constrict.

You exhaled and relaxed into his touch. But it wasn't. "I'm fine."

Rafe loves you so much. If anything happened to you, he would never be the same after. You understand why he's being like this towards you⎯it's so cute and heart full.

As the days went by after coming home, Rafe was by your side no matter what you were doing. For example, you went to grab a class in the kitchen⎯that you could reach⎯he ran over stopping you, "baby you could hurt yourself."

Another time, Rafe told you he would be making dinner and you can sit on the couch watching one of your favorite shows because he didn't want you hurting your neck or worse case scenario. You did sneak in a couple times to do small things⎯cutting the veggies and fruits⎯after you insisted you were fine.

The sun was beginning to set, Rafe and you were sitting on your back porch at your house on the swing. You had yourself leaning against him with his right arm around you.

"Rafe, I want to thank you for taking care of him for the past few days," you can sense he's smiling, "however, I can handle things on my own as well. I'm a grown woman who can take care of myself."

Taking Rafe's hand in yours, bringing it to your lips, pressing a kiss on his knuckles to give him reassurance.

"First, I'll always be here for you and take care of you when you need me. I've always admired your confidence and knowing your worth," he trails on as he softly speaks, "what I'm trying to say is I've been acting this way is because I could've lost you and it kills me."

His voice chokes up and trembles.

"Rafe, I love you so much and I'm never going anywhere. I love and always loved how you have so much you know my worth to take care of myself. You mean the absolute world to me."

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[beginningofwonderland]

Stay Focused - San

Pairing: university student y/n x office worker San

Genre: smut with plot (MINORS DNI!)

Word Count: 12.5k (I don't know what happened)

Summary: Your mother insists on getting you a tutor for your studies. You want to resist until you meet Choi San, your tutor. His sweet talk and good looks make you focus on anything but your studies and you do everything to finally catch his attention in the same way.

Warnings: San is a few years older (5 to be exact), some nipple play, fingering, some orgasm denial, lots of dirty talk, blowjob (face-fucking leaning), protected sex, mirror sex

The reader in this is so horny omg. Just straight up trash for San (relatable). Also very long build-up.

"Good is not enough in this family," your mother repeats to you for what feels like the 100th time. „Your grades have to be exceptional if you want to work in my business."

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you change your phone to the other hand to stir your pasta around. You just told her about your recent test results which of course are not satisfactory to her.

The problem is that you are actually doing pretty good. You never missed or failed a class, you passed all your courses with at least a good score and you had even fulfilled additional classes to broaden the spectrum of your studies. But just like she said: Good is not enough for her. She won't shut up about your grades until you reach 100% in all of your classes - which is basically impossible, especially in your field of study.

"Do you even still want to work in the family business?" your mother asks you provokingly. And the problem is, you do. You really do. Your mother is the CEO of a big pharmacy company and ever since you were a kid you followed her interest in chemistry. You even chose your pharmacy major without her influence. But now that you are taking the same path as her, she is all in your business about being the perfect little mini-her.

"I do, mom. I'm working hard on it, I promise. The next exam is in four weeks and I already started studying."

She makes a huffing sound before answering you: "You said that the last three times as well and still didn't get a full score. You should really get a tutor."

"Mom! I'm the best in my class. Why should I get a tutor? I'm doing great!" You are glad you're only talking to her on the phone so that she doesn't see the way your hands clasps over your face. She can't be serious with you. Getting a tutor with your grades is just embarrassing.

"But not great enough. You know what? The son of a close business partner recently started working at the company. He graduated a few years ago with an honour's degree and seems to be a very promising young man. I'll ask him to tutor you."

Your cheeks start to heat up just at the thought of how embarrassing the whole thing will be for you. Getting a tutor that worked for your mother is literally the worst case scenario. You feel like a high school student that doesn't pay attention in school and now gets scolded for it.

"I do not need a tutor, mom." You state once again but her mind is already made up.

"I'll give him your number and he will contact you. And don't you dare be rude to him, his father is very important for our business!"

You can't believe her words. Since when have you ever been rude to anyone she introduced you to? Your mother ends the call before you can protest any more.

Angrily, you fish a single spaghetti out of your pot to taste it. It's perfectly cooked when you munch on it in annoyance.

--------------------------------

This is Choi San.

Your mother told me you needed tutoring on your pharmacy classes and gave me your schedule.

I can teach you Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 6PM. Would that work for you?

You fall back onto bed with a frustrated groan as you read the messages. She really asked him. Now you have no choice but agree to him tutoring you because your mother would kill you otherwise.

Typing a reply you take a deep breath. This will be such a waste of time for the both of you.

Hello! Tuesdays and Thursdays are good. Thank you so much.

You hate how pathetic you sound. What are you even thanking him for? You don't want him to tutor you and he was definitely forced by your mother so why even play pretend?

No problem. We can use meeting room 117 at the company since I reserved it for us. I'll see you on Tuesday.

You dread Tuesday every single day from now on. When it finally arrives you feel ridiculous as you enter the large building of your mother's company. You have been here countless times but you never thought you would get tutor lessons here.

Even worse is that your mother made you go greet her beforehand. She specifically texted you to visit her office before the appointment with Mr. Choi. You walk past her assistant with a polite greeting and finally enter her office.

The luxurious room sat at the top floor of the building with a nice view over the city. Sometimes you forget how successful her company actually is. It can be quiet intimidating.

"There you are," she greets you with a mere look up from a bunch of files on her desk. "I hope you prepared well for your tutoring session. Please don't embarrass yourself in front of Mr. Choi. His father is an important business partner of mine and he himself seems to be a very promising employee. I don't want my own daughter to make him think worse of the company."

Of course she only worries about the company. The idea that this is incredibly humiliating for her own daughter does not even cross her mind.

"Hello, mom. Of course I prepared well, I always do. I won't disappoint you."

She nods at you, satisfied with your answer before looking at her watch. "Then you should head to the meeting room. He is always ridiculously early for meetings so he's probably waiting for you already."

Great, you think to yourself. You hoped you would be able to grab a coffee beforehand.

"I'll go right away. Bye, mom."

You walk to the elevator with heavy steps and check your own watch. It's still fifteen minutes until 6PM so there's plenty of time to grab a coffee before, no matter what your mother might say.

Entering the elevator you select the floor of the meeting room with the plan to walk to the coffee pantry first. Half-way down, the elevator stops on a different floor. When the doors open you almost choke on your polite "Hello" as your eyes take in the person in front of you.

Walking into the elevator is easily the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life. Dressed in a tight pair of dark pants and a perfectly fitted dress-shirt the handsome stranger repeats your greeting with a small bow and a mind-numbingly attractive smile. His eyes carry a little glimmer even behind the round pair of glasses he wears and as he pushes back his black hair you feel like swooning.

You have to keep yourself from staring when he takes his place in the elevator and both of you wait for it to move. Just now you realize he hasn't pushed a button, which means he is heading to the same floor as you. Out of the corner of your eyes you can't help but watch him.

He is a few inches taller than you but appears even bigger due to his broad frame. You wonder where that man even finds clothes that fit his stature with his broad shoulders and tiny waist. He checks his most definitely expensive wrist watch before looking at the display counting down the floors.

When the elevator doors open with a ding, you almost jolt. You were so caught up in thinking about how good he looks that you didn't even notice arriving on your floor. The handsome man gestures for you to step out first with another deadly smile in your direction.

"Thank you," you barely breath out as you step out of the elevator in front of him. It feels like the air outside is ten degrees colder. Without looking back you head to the pantry of the floor. You need a coffee even more than before now that you can only think of that guy from the elevator. There is no way you can concentrate on tutoring now without some caffeine.

The benefit of being the CEO's daughter is having a card with unlimited access to the coffee machines so you happily press the button for a black coffee. At the familiar buzzing sound you can finally relax and take a deep breath. No man has ever made you so flustered before just by existing. Maybe you should visit the office more often if that was the kind of employees your mother hired.

Taking your coffee into one hand and your study bag into the other you turn around to head to the meeting room. Caught up deeply in your thoughts you almost run head first into the person behind you.

"Woah, careful there. You don't want to spill that coffee do you?" his voice is smooth like honey, with a joking tone to it. You blink up at him a few times before you find your words.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted."

The man from the elevator smiles at you and you feel your body warming up from the inside out.

"Don't worry, nothing happened." He looks you up and down quickly before holding eye contact once again.

"Excuse the question, but do you happen to be director Kim's daughter?"

You stare at him in confusion. "Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?"

He moves past you, grabbing a cup from the pantry himself and turning on the coffee machine before he answers:

"You share her eyes. But more importantly, your bag has a pin of the pharmacy faculty of the university and because I'm supposed to meet her daughter for tutoring on this floor in - " he checks his watch again: "exactly 12 minutes, I figured it might be you."

You are impressed. His looks are already enough to have your eyes turn into hearts but there is probably nothing that makes a man more attractive to you than his wit. But what hits you even more than that is the fact that THIS was your tutor.

I take everything back mom, I love tutoring. Sign me up for another year.

"Well, you figured correctly," you reply weakly, at a loss for words. "Nice to meet you Mr. Choi."

You put your cup on the pantry table to reach your hand out to him. He takes it with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Kim. I was going to get the two of us some coffee but as I can see you already helped yourself."

Oh, so he's a gentleman as well.

"Next time you should let me take care of that," you said showing him your free access card. "I happen to own the key to infinite coffee."

"Does the caffeine addiction come for free with that as well?" You chuckle at his joke.

"I think it's the requirement to get it in the first place."

"Well then I will happily let you get us coffee next time."

Next time, you think. The reality that you will be seeing this man on a regular basis hits you.

For a second the two of you just smile at each other. Then Mr. Choi notices that his coffee is done and he grabs the cup.

"Let's head to the meeting room then. I wouldn't want to waste your time."

You sir, can waste my time any day of the week, you think to yourself but obviously keep silent as you follow him to the room.

He holds the door open for you and you settle down onto one of the meeting chairs. You always hated these things. They are designed to make you sit upright and therefore terribly uncomfortable. You desperately want to fold one of your legs under yourself like you always do at home but you have a good image to keep. After taking a seat across from you he puts his bag onto the table and looks at you expectantly.

"So what topics exactly are you struggling with? It's been a while for me but I'm sure I can help."

"To be honest with you, I don't really need help on anything."

San raises his eyebrows behind the round glasses on his nose. "What do you mean?"

You sigh, not knowing how to explain this dilemma best. "My mother made me get a tutor because she believes I need better grades. In fact I'm the best of my year with perfect attendance and an average of 95%. She says that everything under 100% is not enough which is why she must have thought of you as a tutor."

San just stares at you with a peculiar look on his face. He looks almost impressed from your words.

"I knew director Kim could be quite strict but I had never imagined that extent. I'm sorry she made you do this, a 95% average is very impressive in the pharmacy field."

"Says someone with a perfect 100% graduation," you snap back, a little more spiteful than you want to. But San doesn't seem to take it the wrong way. Instead he chuckles in response. The sound sends shivers down your spine, his voice dipping way lower than you had expected it could.

"Trust me, that wasn't all brains. I only know my way around people." You don't doubt that last statement for even a second.

"Maybe instead of teaching I can give you some tips around the university. That would probably help you more."

Now you are interested.

"What kind of tips for example?" You lean forward resting an elbow on the table as you pick your cup of coffee up for a sip. It's still burning hot but you pretend you didn't just burn your tongue as you set it back down.

"Does Mr. Han still do the medicine lectures? He's been using the same exam template for years. Pharmacy students are just to selfish to share the results with the younger students. I'll look for my old exams later to give them to you."

Your mouth opens in awe. Everyone from the year above had told you Mr Han's exams were the hardest and it turns out they were just lying to intimidate you. The competition was real.

"These fuckers," you mumble beneath your breath but judging by his chuckle, San heard you just fine.

"Sorry," you excuse your language immediately with a small nod. He is still an employee under your mother and she told you explicitly to act well around him. Hiding your uneasiness you go for another scolding sip of coffee.

"Don't worry, darling. I won't go complaining to your mother about your language. You don't need to be her perfect little girl for me."

You almost choke on your coffee and have to force the liquid down your throat with an effort. You really wish they didn't but his words made your insides squirm. The amount of money you'd pay him to call you 'darling' again is surely an embarrassing amount. But good little girl also didn't sound too bad from his mouth.

"Thanks," you mumble, not knowing what else to say and stare onto the table to hide your flushing face. If you look at him with those slutty, round glasses right now, you're sure you'll combust.

You don't notice, but Mr. Choi eyes you up and down carefully before he resumes speaking. He smiles at your flustered state that obviously doesn't escape his sharp senses. Seeing your pretty face flush from only these few words, satisfies him deeply.

"Then how about that toxicology class? If Mr. Lim still teaches it, I know a few ways to get on his good side. He always picks favourites and it shows in the grades."

Mr. Choi continues listing off ways to better your grades around your professors. You can't help but be impressed. Not only is he obviously very intelligent but also great with people. Maybe what kept you from exceeding in your studies was your rather reserved nature in class.

"How about this," Mr. Choi finally proposes after teaching you some of his ways. "I'll get you my old notes and exams and with that you will surely ace all your tests. Then we can meet up for these tutoring sessions and while you study in peace I can get some work done. This way your mother is happy and we both profit from the situation."

You nod without hesitation. "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."

He groans at your words, a sound that makes you react in a way you don't even want to put into words.

"Please don't call me Mr. Choi when we're alone that makes me feel terribly old. My name is San."

"Aren't you older than me though?" you ask back carefully. It doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.

"If 5 years are old to you?" he inquires with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You don't know if he's flirting with you or if you are just becoming a witness to this man's effortless social skills.

Truthfully, you are 22 and 5 years more don't seem that much to you. Still his way with words and the confident aura around him make him seem more mature.

"I didn't say old. Just older."

He rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, leisurely resting one of his elbows on the backrest behind him. "Just call me San, darling."

There it is again. That word single-handedly turns you into a blushing mess within seconds and you find yourself agreeing without another thought.

"Okay, San."

A satisfied smile spreads on his face and you marvel at the dimples that form on his cheeks. "Much better. Than how about you do some studying and I'll get some work done now?"

"Sounds good," you reply and start taking out your classwork. He could've told you to start stripping right now and you would've agreed without question. Damn you are down bad for him already...

It is a weird situation at first. You are used to studying around strangers in the library, but sitting alone in a room with San makes it hard to focus on your upcoming test. His eyes keep flicking from his work laptop across to you and you don't know if he's interest in the topic you're studying or you.

You yourself on the other hand are surely interested in him and you can't help but steal a few glances at him working diligently at his laptop every now and then. Even typing on his keyboard looks ridiculously hot on him with the way his slender fingers run over the keys.

After about two hours of you trying to keep your eyes on your notes San finally closes his laptop and stares at you until you reciprocate his look.

"I guess two hours is enough to make your mother think you studied, right?" he asks with one corner of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Sure," you respond weakly.

"I'll look for my old tests and will bring them on Thursday," he goes on as he stands up to pack up his laptop and bag. You also start gathering your study books.

"Thank you again," you answer lamely. But the promise of already seeing him again on Thursday excites you.

When you proceed to grab your now empty coffee cup his hands react quickly as he snatches it from you.

"Don't worry about that, I'll put those away," he's leaning over the table now, smiling at you through slightly closed eyes and you can't help but be entranced by his looks. "You should make sure to get home before it's dark outside. Want you to get home safely."

"Don't worry about me, I'll manage."

"Oh but I won't if something happens to you and your mother finds out you were last seen with me," he replies cockily as you two finally go to the door.

You have to chuckle at his remark. "Good to know I'm not the only one terrified of her."

"Everyone is terrified of her," he mumbles under his breath but you are already reaching the coffee pantry - aka your cue to go home.

"Can we use the same room on Thursday?" you ask as you stop in front of him. You make sure to brush your hair behind your ear in a nonchalant manner, knowing it shows your good angles.

"Yeah, I already booked it," San replies easily, eyes fixing yours from above. "But let's meet at the coffee machine here. I want to at least take advantage of that free coffee if I give you all my study secrets."

He winks at you at the last part of the sentence and it makes your insides twirl like on a rollercoaster. You give him a small smile through fluttering lashes. "So that's what you meant with a win-win situation: Endless coffee. Well it looks like I don't have a choice but to be your personal coffee machine."

You want to punch yourself right after that sentence leaves your mouth. How much more stupid could you possibly sound? Personal coffee machine. Saying you wanted to be his personal slut would have been less embarrassing.

But San doesn't seem to mind your awkward response. "Sounds good to me," he replies smoothly. "Then have a good ride home and I'll see you on Thursday."

"Until Thursday," you reply before you can say something stupid again and stroll off to the elevator with a small wave.

As soon as the doors close behind you, your head thumps against the steel wall. There is no way you will get any studying done with that man in the same room as you.

---------------------

Your next few meetings with San go on smoothly. You are always on time but he is still earlier than you, waiting for you at the coffee machine. You get both of you a coffee - sometimes two if you feel like it - and you two get to work in a comfortable silence sitting opposite to each other in the meeting room.

After San brought you his old exams you can now prepare exactly what you need to know for your next tests. But no matter how hard you try to focus on your studies, your eyes keep wandering from your books up to the handsome man working on his laptop.

You soon notice his seemingly endless closet full of tailored dressing shirts and perfectly matching pants. He always looks immaculate, not a single wrinkle on his shirt and his hair always neatly combed back. Even his skin is flawless to the point that you start questioning if Choi San might be a figment of your imagination.

Just like his outer appearance, his manners are immaculate. Like you already noticed on your first meeting, he is a sweet talker. Always knowing the right thing to say and never letting your conversation end in awkwardness.

Whenever he feels like taking a break you notice him starting to talk to you. At first he asks how your studies are going. Then he wanders off to the professors you two shared and how he managed to ace all his classes.

Your whole attention is glued to his lips. For one thing because the information he can provide you with is crucial to your academic development but much more importantly because his lips are the prettiest thing you have ever seen. They look so plump and smooth while he's talking that your mind can't help but wander to the other things he might be able to do with them besides talking.

If at your first meeting you were down bad for Choi San, one month later you felt like you were drowning and he was the last bit of oxygen left on earth. You wanted him with a passion that you didn't even know you were capable of.

But you couldn't have him. There was too much at stake. He still worked for your mother and if you made a move on him that he wouldn't reciprocate you would risk the eternal hate of the only woman that still held control over your life. And so far San hadn't shown any sign of feeling the same way about you that you did for him.

„You're stuck on that?" San suddenly asks you over the page of biochemistry that you've been staring at for a solid five minutes. You haven't spared a single thought on the topic in front of you. Your mind is only occupied by the thought of San leaning over you on the meeting chair, your chin in between his slender fingers as he smirks down at you. You hate him for having this effect on you when you so desperately need to focus on your studies.

You really need to get your thoughts together.

„Oh no I was just getting carried away," you answer, looking at him pointedly with a sly smile.

You tried little attacks like this on him before. A casual pull down of your shirt, stretching your arms to make it ride up over your stomach or even looking directly at his lips as he spoke. But no matter how daring you get you can never catch San slipping.

His eyes stay on yours only whenever he looks at you, his tone is always polite and never goes farther than a casual joke. You simply can't draw a single reaction from him and it drives you insane.

„Do you need a small break? We could get another coffee," he offers helpfully.

I don't want a damn coffee I want you to fuck me on this meeting table.

"I'd love to, but I'm already way too warm today. I fear the AC can't fight against the heat anymore."

It has gotten exponentially hotter over the past days and you can feel it even inside the modern building.

"You're right, it's quite hot in here," San says with a disappointed face. "What a shame we don't have iced coffee. We should get some on Tuesday!"

His eyes light up in excitement and this little sliver of pure happiness doesn't escape you. It's surprising how cute he can be with that shamelessly hot body of his.

"Do you know a place near?" You ask to drag on the conversation. You yourself know at least 3 cafés in the area that sell iced coffee but you want San to tell you a place. Maybe his favourite. So that you can go and think of him.

"Yes, I can show you!" he answers proudly.

"I'd love to." You send him a gentle smile with long eye contact before both of you look back at your work.

But your concentration withers away like the dying plant in the corner of the room when Choi San begins undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves.

You know you shouldn't but your eyes immediately watch as his slender fingers start neatly folding up his sleeves. The muscles in his underarms dance beneath his skin as inch after inch of skin gets revealed.

You feel like a medieval man salivating over exposed ankles as you stare at San's arms. The veins are protruding in the heat and his honey skin is glistening under the bland neon lights.

Your heartbeat quickens and it's mostly because it feels like you finally found San slipping. Him rolling up his sleeves is like a crack in his perfect mask and you are certain that he wouldn't do it anywhere else in the company. He only does this because he is with you.

"Shoot," he suddenly exclaims and draws your attention up to his face. You catch the small pout that appears on his lips before he looks back at you.

"What is it?" you ask him.

"I forgot to book the meeting room for Tuesday and now everything is blocked. There is a work event next week. I should've booked it earlier."

"Oh," you simply reply. This is even more confusing. You don't believe that San would ever forget such an important event. Is he trying to get rid of you?

"Don't worry about it, darling." His smirk and the nickname has you fighting for air. "I'll find us something else."

You can only nod at him with a smile. Maybe he isn't trying to get rid of you.

The rest of your study/work time flies by as your mind thinks of all the possible meeting places you and San could have for Tuesday. You feel like a highschool girl dreaming about dates with your crush but you don't care. The man that is supposed to be tutoring you just makes your heart speed up in a way that you haven't experienced ever before.

When your meeting time comes to an end and San starts packing up his stuff he simply says: "How about we meet at my place next time? I don't like working in cafés it's always so crowded and noisy. And I have coffee too."

You snap up at him in surprise at the proposal. "Sure," you reply as nonchalantly as you can at the prospect of going to Choi San's apartment. Alone. With him.

"I can pick you up here with my car after work. So you don't have any extra way."

"That sounds good," you reply with a small smile, trying not to sound too excited.

"Then until next week," he says with one of his handsome smiles and you say your goodbyes before you can turn even redder in his presence.

When you walk onto the elevator this time and the door closes behind you, your heart is pounding into your throat. As the realization sets in that you will be alone with Choi San in his apartment a satisfied smile set over your face. Oh you will use that chance for sure.

----------------------

You spend the entire day preparing for your tutor appointment with San. Something deep inside you tells you that this behaviour is ridiculous but you push this inner voice back down as you play your favourite music and get ready.

You wear your hair in light waves and put on makeup to bring out your eyes but not look overly done up. Your outfit was a tricky matter but you settled on a classic pleated skirt and a tight long-sleeve. Everything about your appearance today lands on the thin line between innocent and suggestive and you are satisfied when you twirl around in front of the mirror.

All you want is one small reaction out of the man that you have thirsted for over the past weeks. If Choi San even so much as lets his eyes scan you up and down, your mission would be successful. Lost in your task of getting ready you almost forget to actually pack your study books before heading to your mothers company.

You two agreed on San picking you up at the company's garage. So you are taking down the elevator to the parking floor and checking yourself one last time in your phone camera before stepping into the parking lot.

Having no idea how his car looks like you pull up your chat with San, wanting to ask him where to go. But before you can type your message a calm voice calls you over from across the parking lot.

"Y/n!"

You turn around to a sight that makes your heart flutter. San is leaning onto his car, a chic black Mercedes. His white dress shirt has one button unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up again. His feet are crossed over each other leisurely as he waits for you to come over.

Walking up to him you have to try real hard to look casual and not like your nerves are taking over you with the impending situation of being in the same car as San for an undefined amount of time. Your heart is beating already and he hasn't even called you any nicknames yet.

"Hello, San. You're not wearing glasses today?" you notice in surprise and hope it doesn't come off as too attentive.

"Sometimes I wear contacts," he replies smoothly. "It's a styling decision."

While you love the glasses on San seeing him without has a different charm to it. Almost like he is showing you a different side of him.

"Ready to go?" you ask him to keep the conversation going and you're almost proud of your nonchalant tone.

"Ready when you are," he replies with a light smile and walks around the car to open the door for you.

Of course he opens the door for me.

Before you can get in he also takes your bag from you to store it in the back. You want to refuse but one of his smiles finally makes you give in and you hand him the bag. Finally, you thank him and sit down in the passenger seat. The car looks even nicer on the inside: leather seats and perfectly clean. Something inside you starts questioning where this man hides his flaws since noone can possibly be this perfect at all times.

"It's only a 20 minute drive," San explains as he gets into the driver's seat and turns on the engine. You can't help but watch his hands as he manages the gearshift. But as he turns around to look for obstacles his eyes get stuck on you. For a second you think you got him. That his eyes linger on you for a little too long because you finally pulled a reaction out of him.

"You haven't even put your seatbelt on, darling."

And with that your mind is blank. Simple emptiness.

Before you can react, his hand reaches past you, grabbing the seatbelt and plugging it in. His hand doesn't so much as grace your shoulder for a millisecond but you feel like your lungs are constricting.

"Thanks," you breath out before he finally pulls out of the parking spot. He does that wildly attractive thing where he put his hand on the back of the passenger's seat while driving backwards and you feel like losing it already. How will you survive being in the same apartment with this man. San however seems his usual chatty self.

"I'm sorry again for not booking the meeting room in time. I already reserved it for the weeks to come," he starts talking to you.

"Don't worry. I totally don't mind," you answer and regret it immediately. Did that sound too eager? Something about Sam's presence makes you overthink every single word you say.

"I have a fancy coffee machine at home so I can at least return the favour of you getting me coffee all the time."

You smile at that. It feels like this little inside thing between you two how you always use your company privileges to pay for both of your coffee. San thanks you every single time, bringing up how much you save his day.

"I never thought you were that much of a coffee guy at home too," you say trying to get him to tell you more about himself.

"You're acting like I didn't go through pharmacy as well!" He replies with a slightly sulky tone. "No way to survive that major without getting addicted to coffee."

You chuckle at his response. "That's true unfortunately. So you just carried the addiction into your job?"

"You could state it like that but by buying a fancy machine you can just say that coffee is your hobby instead."

Whenever you two talk about mundane topics like this you can't help but be glued to his lips. To get a glimpse of the Choi San that isn't working over-hours all the time and kept up his perfect image at all costs. You want to find out the details about him. Like how he enjoys his coffee or what colour he might like best.

You continue the drive in casual chatter like this before finally reaching your destination. As San pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building your heart rate quickens again. Something about seeing his apartment makes you incredibly nervous.

He tells you to wait inside the car after he lets the motor die down so that he can open the door for you again. Even this small gesture has you wrapped around his finger and you smile as you try to step out of the car as gracefully as you can.

San leads you into an elevator and as soon as the doors close you feel reminded of your first meeting. Of how he took your breath away just by standing next to you in such a small space. And now there isn't much difference. He still makes you just as nervous. But at least you can talk to him now.

"How is studying for your exams going so far?" He asks casually.

"It's okay," you reply lamely. "I'm trying my best."

"You know if you actually do need my help you can obviously ask me," he offers alluding to your deal of him basically just getting his own work done instead of tutoring you.

"You've already helped me so much. All I need to do now is actually study," you say turning down his argument.

You idiot, you think to yourself. You could've at least pretended to need his help.

You wait in silence as the remaining floors rush past you. You're surprised with every passing number, wondering what floor San might be living on. But the elevator doesn't stop until the highest floor.

San let's you exit first which makes no sense to you since you don't know where to go. So you wait for him to show you the way to his apartment.

As soon as he unlocks the door and leads you two inside you curiously scan his place. On a first glance it looks almost exactly like you expected: it's very clean and tidy, the furniture is modern and rather minimalistic and the whole place carries a simple colour theme of black and chrome with only hints of colour. The entrance leads straight into an open living room that connects to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home at the dinner table," San offers while gesturing at the big, black table that looks like straight out of a design magazine.

You both place your shoes neatly at the entrance of his apartment before you take your bag to the table. As you choose a seat from which you can look outside the gigantic window front, San heads over to the kitchen, getting something from a cupboard.

"Can I get you a glass of water before I make some coffee?" He asks you with a kind smile.

"That would be nice," you answer even though water was not what you were craving right now.

He filled one for you and brought it over before returning to the kitchen. "You want your coffee hot or iced?"

"Iced? This is better service than at the company. You should forget to book the meeting room more often." It's a weak attempt at flirting with him but he laughs non the less.

"So iced it is?" He confirms with you again and turns on his electric coffee grinder after you nod approvingly.

It shouldn't captivate you that much, looking at him while he was performing such a basic task as making coffee. But you could watch him for hours, the way his broad back stretches out his dress shirt. The way he moves around so smoothly. The way the muscles in his arms flex as he handles his espresso machine.

You turn towards your study materials just in time before he faces you again, two iced coffees in his hands. He places one gently in front of you before he sits down opposite of you.

"Thank you," you smile at him extra sweetly.

"Anything you want, darling."

You swear to yourself that if he calls you darling one more time you will throw all rational thoughts out of the window and straddle him right here in his stupid designer living room chair. But for now you settle for a coy smile as you feel your cheeks heat up.

To add to your demise, as San drags his chair closer to the table both of your knees touch for a brief second before he casually changes his seating position. The table is narrower than the one in the meeting room and knowing that your legs are mere inches from another makes you even more delusional. What if he did that on purpose?

After that, all concentration for your studies is far gone. It doesn't help at all that the iced coffee he made you was the best you had in ages and with every sip you keep wondering what Choi San isn't good at.

I just know he fucks good there's no other way, you think to yourself but get interrupted in your thoughts.

"Are you stuck on something?" San asks you and you almost don't even dare to raise your eyes to look at him. A kind of shame overcomes you as you realize what you have been thinking about while he worries about your studies.

You sigh to buy yourself time to find an answer that doesn't include: Yes, I'm stuck because I can't think of anything but your body on top of mine.

"Yeah, I just can't seem to concentrate well lately. Maybe I'm stressed out because of my finals."

It isn't fully a lie. Your finals are approaching steadily and with you thirsting over your tutor instead of studying you are indeed starting to worry.

"I would love to tell you that grades don't matter too much but I know your mother won't agree and I will probably face her anger too if you fail," he laughs at the end of his sentence to lighten the mood but quickly notices he only stressed you more by saying that.

"I'm sorry," he quickly retracts. It feels like the first time you caught him messing up his smooth way of talking which in return makes you smile.

"No, you're right. I just never thought about the fact that she will hate both of us if I mess up. What a way to relax."

"I shouldn't have said that," San again apologizes. "I'm sure you will do amazing though. After all you studied so much."

He finishes his sentence with a wink and you must stare at him for a second like an idiot. Did you just imagine that? Or is he alluding to something? Does Choi San know that you thirsted for him this entire fucking time?

But his further actions don't allow you to think much more.

"You look quite tense actually," he continues. "You know it's not good for your back to sit stiff like this for a prolonged amount of time. Your neck must be hurting?"

You have no idea what he is talking about. And your confusion only grows as San gets up from his chair heading in your direction. Every step he comes closer to you has your heart pumping erratically. Even though you dreamed about him being closer to you and finally paying you more attention you are now paralysed at the situation unfolding. Simply being close to him renders your entire body useless.

San steps behind you and, to your absolute shock and amazement, his hands gently grasp your shoulders.

"To compensate the stress from university I took a physiology course that taught us how to massage tense muscles."

As if to proof his words his thumbs gently start rubbing circles into your neck. The warmth of his fingers seeps through your thin shirt and fills your entire body. It feels like he set you on fire with this simple touch.

All of this cannot be real. This must be a figment of your imagination or you actually fell asleep on your study notes while dreaming about San. But his voice sounds very much real when he resumes:

"You have to relax, otherwise I'll hurt you." His voice drops lower than usual and as he gently drapes your hair over one shoulder to get it out of his way you can feel his breath fanning over your neck. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

But amid the fire burning in your veins and your clouded mind you actually manage to ease into his fingers and allow him to loosen up your muscles.

"That's a good girl," he rasps behind you and you know you tipped over the edge now. There is no going back from this. You feel like a doll in his hands. His words are electrifying, leaving you unable to utter a single word, to make a single sound. Your mind is running on a state of emergency. Nothing seems to get to you but the fact that San is touching you.

And oh is he good at it. His hands are pressing into all the right places relieving all the pent up tension you built ever since getting ready for this meeting today. If his fingers are already this good at massaging out your stress you can't help but think about what else they can do.

"How do you feel?" He asks. His voice is still low and his tone taunting, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

"Better," you answer. Your voice is merely a whisper. You sound weak, even in your own ears, and wonder if he even heard you.

"Yeah? Then how is this?" With his question his thumbs dip beneath the collar of your shirt and massage your upper back a little lower.

You can't help but close your eyes. The low tone of his voice, his fingers on your skin and the playfulness of his words. All of this is so overwhelming you can only lean back and revel in his touch.

"It feels so good," you manage to breath out when you realize he asked you a question.

He bends down a little, his mouth now right next to your ear. "Should I make you feel even better?"

He is quite literally the devil on your shoulder. Everything in your body screams for you to say yes immediately. The unspoken promise has your entire body on fire and you almost give in to your desire. But a tiny speck of reasonable thinking pulls you back into the dangerous territories you are moving in right now.

"What do you mean?" you ask carefully. You know that this is everything you wanted for the past few weeks but still you can't help being confused about his sudden change.

His left hand wanders from your back to your chin, tilting it to the side so you can look at him. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. His pupils are dilated and he is looking at you like he is preying on you. The intensity is something you have never seen in him before.

"You are far too smart to be asking that question, darling," he replies smugly.

"But you were never interested in me?" You ask back and want to hit yourself on the spot. Why are you even asking questions when the man you've desired for weeks finally seems to be making a move on you? But after all he is acting very out of character.

San chuckles, never taking his eyes off of you. "You're so cute. All these weeks that you've been wanting me and now you ask what I'm doing?"

Your mouth opens in shock. So he did in fact know all this time that you were interested in him.

"Don't act all surprised now, darling. You really thought I didn't see the way you looked at me ever since we first met? How your eyes keep focusing on my arms in my tight shirts. How you steal glances at me when you think I'm not looking? I wanted to see how long I could leave you thirsting like this before you would break."

His confession has you gasping as you realize you weren't even faintly as indiscreet as you thought you were. Instead San was playing with you the entire time. Watching your every move.

"Desperation looks so cute on you," he adds with another devilish smile. His fingers continue drawing circles into your back as his burning eyes keep you fixed in your spot. You feel bewitched by his entire presence, like he has cast a spell on you.

"I made all this effort to get you into my apartment so we both don't have to risk our lives by having me ruin you on the meeting table and still you didn't even have a clue. I'm almost disappointed if you weren't so cute when you are surprised like this." A satisfied grin plays around his plump lips, as if he revelling in the taste of this sweet opportunity in his hands. "Now be a good girl for me and finally do what you've been wanting to do for weeks. Tell me you want me."

You haven't taken a single breath since he started talking and as a result your head feels dizzy. It takes a short moment before you can finally form the words that your head is screaming at you.

"Please," you whisper pathetically.

"Please what, darling?" San revels in the way you can barely speak.

"Please ruin me."

You can basically see the fire behind his eyes ignite as you speak those three words. His hand wanders to your cheek, grabbing it firmly. He takes his sweet time to let his thumb run over your bottom lip, eyes trailing after his own movement.

"With pleasure."

Finally, his lips press onto yours in a desperate kiss. They feel just as soft as they always looked to you, but he kisses you with a roughness that is almost contradictory. The combination is intoxicating. As you reciprocate the kiss, heat runs through your limbs in shockwaves.

Suddenly impatient, San interrupts the kiss to pull you up and out of the chair by your arms. Grabbing your waist he manhandles you onto the dinner table instead, lifting you onto the ledge as if it was nothing.

Your hands bury in his hair as both your lips meet again in a rushed embrace. In return, San wedges one of his legs between yours and spreads your knees so he can stand between them. The way he handles you makes heat pool in your core. San has a determination to his every move that makes you want to do whatever he could want from you.

One of his hands still tightly grasping your waist, the other winds in your hair as he deepens the kiss. When his tongue enters your mouth you arch your back wanting to diminish every centimetre between you two. Your head is dizzy, completely overwhelmed by his every touch.

San's firm hands are restless on your heated body. His fingers quickly find a way to shift under your shirt and his thumb draws circles into the bare skin of your stomach. Choi San feels like a drug. His touch just as intoxicating as you always dreamed it to be.

He removes his mouth from your lips only to latch onto the fragile skin behind your ears, kissing his way around your neck. You let your head fall back to give him better access and when he starts sucking on your skin you relieve a small whimper.

You can feel San smirking into your skin as he sucks even more. It's like he has found your weakness and is now shamelessly using it to make you melt beneath his fingers. And it's working so well. Your hands lose grip on his hair as you lose your ability to focus on anything but San's lips on your neck.

"Don't tap out on me already, darling. I'm only getting started," he rasps into your ear in between kisses. You draw in a shaky breath at his words. Your legs feel like jelly even as your sitting down and you just know you won't be able to walk after San is finished with you.

He finally withdraws his lips and for a second just revels in your already dishevelled form: hair messy, red flush to your cheeks and lips glossy from kissing him.

"I'd love to have you on my dinner table but let's take this somewhere more comfortable for now," he says in a soft voice.

Hooking his hands under your thighs he picks you up from the table, carrying you towards his bedroom. Woken up from your trance by the change of motion you suddenly gain back some of your bite. While San is busied with carrying you, your fingers rush to the collar of his dress shirt. Oh how often you have dreamed of popping open those buttons one by one. And finally you have the pleasure to do so. A soft chuckle makes his chest move in front of you as San looks down on your actions.

"You couldn't wait, could you?"

"Why would I?" you reply cheekily as your hand smooths over his now exposed skin. He feels so soft and hot under your fingertips that you don't think you'll ever be able to detach.

San throws open his bedroom door with his shoulder and before you have a chance to take in the room you are thrown onto the plush bed. He follows behind immediately, hovering over you with both hands propped up next to your head. He lets his eyes run over your figure lazily, up and down.

"Don't even know where to start with you," he mumbles half to himself and half to you as he watches your chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. He decides to put on a show, sitting back on his heels and slowly continuing your work in unbuttoning his shirt.

Apart from his skin being exposed the simple act of opening some buttons shouldn't drive you as crazy as it does right now. It's simply the sexiest thing you have ever seen in your life. The way his hooded eyes stay on yours the entire time while one button after another falls open under his practiced movements.

You are moving on autopilot when you also sit up to take off your own shirt. You simply can't delay this any further. As your shirt lands somewhere beside the bed, San lets out a small groan, surprising you. He stopped in the middle of folding down his sleeves.

"How did you know that purple was my favourite colour?" He asks in a raspy voice. His eyes are raking over your deep purple bra with a desire in them that lets shivers run over your skin.

You can't imagine a better way to find out his favourite colour. You only chose it because it accentuates your skin tone but now it feels like fate to you. Finally, you are getting to the edges of Choi San. Getting to know him on a level that you were craving like the air you needed to breath.

"Good intuition," you reply. Your confidence surges under his heavy glances. Maybe a little too much. "Need help with that?" you ask him teasingly with a nod towards his shirt, which hangs open around his toned torso.

As soon as you speak those words you are getting pinned back to the bed, San's hand suddenly wrapped around your neck. He isn't putting any pressure on it yet but you can feel his strength pulsating around your neck. His broad shoulders are taking up most of your vision and with the way he glares at you you just know that you are soaked.

"Don't get too bold with me, darling," he says in a warning tone. "I'm the one in charge."

You look up at him through big, round eyes, lashes fluttering because you have a feeling that it will push just the right buttons in him.

"Go ahead then," you reply firmly. "Do whatever you want to me."

San sits up again and roughly tugs on his sleeves, finally discarding his shirt fully. Then his lips are on yours again in a heartbeat.

You greedily let your hands wander over his now fully exposed upper body. The muscles playing under his skin feel so good as he buries his hands in your hair. His biceps is so big that your fingers can barely wrap around it halfway. You can't get enough of touching his body which so far you only admired in fitted dressing shirts.

San kisses his way down from your lips again but this time he doesn't stop at your neck. Continuing down your chest he kisses the tender skin between your breasts. When he takes both hands to squish your breasts together, burying his face in between, you lose your last bit of composure.

"Please, San. Please just fuck me."

He lifts his head to smile at you devilishly. The fire behind his eyes seems so bright that you're scared it will never burn down again.

"Already begging for me? You're still half dressed and I'm only starting. Have a little patience."

As he finishes his words, his hand snakes behind your back to open your bra in a swift motion. He peels the straps off of you with a new found patience that makes you feel like you are suffocating.

When the piece of clothing lands on the floor, San's eyes are glued to your chest. Slowly, he lowers himself down again, gently taking on of your nipples into his mouth. As soon as his tongue starts lapping at you a string of moans escape you. He just feels so good.

Without ever losing focus on kissing and nipping on your chest, one of his hands wanders to your skirt. He finds the zipper so easily it feels like he has studied undressing you. He pushes it down your legs quickly, leaving you only in your underwear.

As his hand starts stroking your inner thighs, your eyes roll to the back of your head. He feels like a dream.

"Please San. Please touch me," the words leave your mouth in whispers. Silent pleas for him to finally give you what you want.

"Is my darling so stressed from studying that she needs her mind taken off of things?" His fingers trail over your clothed heat as he asks you in a sickly sweet voice. His eyes are focussed on your face, taking in how you crumble beneath his touch.

"Yes. Yes, please," you whimper desperately. Every touch feels like electricity on your skin.

"Want me to stuff you full so you can forget everything you've studied for for weeks?" He pushes your panties to the side, his fingers toying at your entrance.

"Please San..." you repeat yourself weakly. Finally he gives into your pleading and sinks two of his fingers into you. You are so wet that they glide in with ease. You suck in a harsh breath as he begins pumping them in and out of you.

"God you feel so good. Can't wait to fuck you, my darling. Bury my cock so deep into you you forget your own name."

His words make you shake beneath him. You had a lot of suspicions about San in the bedroom due to your extensive daydreaming about him. But never did you expect him to be so vocal and downright dirty with his words. It catches you off-guard and only heightens your pleasure.

San scoots up on the bed a little so his face is hovering over yours again, while he slips a third finger into your heat. "How do I feel?" he asks with a raspy tone to his voice.

"You feel so fucking good, San," you moan in answer. His fingers stretch you out so deliciously and he reaches this spot deep inside you that makes you arch your back with every thrust.

"Yeah, you wanna come on my fingers?" he rasps into your ear now, lips again attaching to your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin.

"Please, San." You feel like a broken record that's repeating the same thing over and over. You grow closer and closer to an orgasm with every motion of his fingers inside you. But San has other plans for you. And when he feels you desperately clenching around his fingers, he pulls them out of you.

"I'm sorry darling," he says immediately, even though his face doesn't display any regret. "But you look so pretty when you're desperate. And I want you to come on my cock when I make you fall apart for the first time."

You feel like crying. You want nothing more but to come and yet him taking it from you only makes you want him more. You would do anything for Choi San.

He stands up from the bed and opens his belt. But before he can take of his pants, he orders you over with a motion of his finger. You sit on your knees at the edge of the bed in seconds, looking up at him expectantly.

He doesn't say a word and only gestures for his painfully strained pants. You don't need any more hints to start opening his pants and pulling them down his legs desperately. You hook your fingers into his boxers too but look up at him once more before continuing. When he nods at you you finally pull them down as well.

You can't help but stare at San's length. He's big, just like you had always imagined and he was rock-hard. When San takes himself into his hand and gives himself a few strokes you open your mouth on your own, sticking out your tongue in anticipation of tasting him.

San starts gently. His other hand weaves into your hair and he pulls you onto his length slowly. You are able to take a good amount of him before his tip hits the back of your throat and you release a surprised moan. San closes his eyes momentarily as he relishes in the feeling of your hot mouth around him.

"Shit, you feel so good," he rasps out before he starts thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your hands seek hold on his muscular thighs and you look up at San through big and pleading eyes. Even though he isn't pleasuring you, this almost feels as good as having him bury his fingers inside you. All you ever dreamed about was him using you just like this and the feeling of it happening is so intoxicating you feel like you might pass out any second.

"Look at you enjoying my cock so damn much, that your eyes are losing focus," San chuckles. He looks down at you in disbelief as you mindlessly swirl your tongue around his cock. "You love being ruined by me, don't you?"

You can only manage a desperate nod and approving grunt as you continue sucking him of. No man has ever made you this desperate. As you look at him from beneath you feel like you have accomplished everything you ever wanted: his hair was dishevelled, his breaths uneven and a red tint painted his cheeks. All in all, Choi San lost his perfectly maintained appearance as you sucked on his cock and to you he looked 100 times prettier this way.

When his thrusts go sloppy, he pulls out of your mouth in a haste before he can come. "You're driving me crazy, darling," he grunts as he catches his breath for a second. In a more gentle tone he resumes: "Lay back on the bed for me, ok?"

You do as he says, laying down on your back in the middle of the bed, your body buzzing with the anticipation of what is to come. San goes to his dresser, opening a drawer to get a condom. 

When he climbs over you he looks at you intensely. But at the same time his eyes hold a softness that makes you feel secure.

"Are you sure about going on, y/n?" he asks warmly. No petnames this time. He wants a clear answer.

"Never been so sure in my life," you reply with a smile and his lips mirror yours as he beams down at you.

Quickly he sits up to open the condom and roll it onto his member. Opening your legs with his knee he situates himself between you and positions his cock at your entrance. One hand on your hip and the other holding his cock, he slowly sinks himself into you while carefully observing your face.

Your eyes flutter when he is fully inside of you and you moan at the feeling. San releases a grunt as well and waits a few seconds deep inside of you.

"Fuck, you're so tight for me, my darling. Don't worry I won't stop this time until you come." And with that he starts thrusting into you. He begins with slow and deep thrusts but as soon as you get used to his size he speeds up rapidly. 

His abs are flexing underneath is skin as he grabs onto your hip and pistons himself into you. With every thrust you can feel him hit this spongy part deep inside of you that makes heat build in your core with a throbbing intensity. Meanwhile you revel in the sight above you: San looks like a god. His muscular body moving above you is almost enough to push you over the edge but what's even more entrancing is his face. His expressions seem almost possessed. Like a demon took over him as soon as he started fucking you, he fixes his eyes onto yours.

"Am I fucking you good? Making you forget all your precious studies?" There they are again. His filthy words driving you down a one-way-road to insanity. "I hope you forget everything so you have to see me even more, darling. Then I can keep on fucking this tight little cunt over and over again."

"Fuck, San!" you moan out, being shocked by his words. His control over you is baffling and you can't help but grow closer and closer to your orgasm with every word.

"I know you like me like that, darling. Do me a favour and come on my cock so I can finally see you lose yourself will you?"

You can't form an answer. Endless moans tumble out of your mouth in increasing volume and San knows he has you exactly where he wants. 

"Come for me."

Your orgasm hits you with an explosive intensity. Faintly, you notice yourself moan at a concerning volume as your high washes over your body. But San doesn't seem to mind. Your legs are shaking and he helps you ride out the feeling with slower strokes. He waits for your breath to slow down again before he leans down to you and places a gentle kiss onto your lips.

"I want you on your knees in front of me," he says sweetly as soon as your lips separate and your head is spinning. Still you manage to get up with the help of his arm beneath your waist and you let yourself be positioned in front of San, your back to him.

Since you didn't have the opportunity to examine his bedroom earlier you only now notice the big mirror on his wardrobe next to his bed. Looking ahead, you can now see yourself on your knees, sitting in front of San.

You look even more dishevelled than you feel: Your hair is all over the place and some of your eyeliner smudged and a handful of dark purple marks littering your neck. Also, a red tint covers your skin, making you look flushed. San behind you smirks as you examine your own figure.

"You look so pretty all messed up like this for me, don't you think?"

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans your body back onto his broad chest. You look tiny in front of his build.

"I'll make you look even prettier," he promises as he sinks himself back into you.

He picks up his intense pace from before and you already feel dizzy again. With his arm holding you tight he is basically lifting you up and down his cock. At this angle he is hitting you deeper than before and you are sure you won't last very long until your next high.

But nothing could've prepared you for the feeling of San winding his other arm around you too, his fingers gently starting to stroke your clit. Your head falls back onto San's shoulder as you give in to the mind-numbing pleasure that starts buzzing through your body.

"Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to watch you fall apart."

His voice sounds sulky, almost cute. It doesn't match his relentless thrusts and his fingers pleasuring you. It takes all your strength to lift your head again and look at San through the mirror. His eyes are hooded now, a shin layer of sweat making his flawless skin shine in the evening light.

"You make me feel so good," you manage to say as San keeps on pounding into you. You want him to know how he makes you feel. How good he is being to you.

"Am I?" He smiles in satisfaction as he watches your brows draw together with a particularly deep thrust. "You too, darling. You feel so good around me I don't think I can last much longer. But you'll come one more time for me, right?"

His voice sounds so deep and sultry in your ears. "Of course, Sannie," you mumble absent-mindedly. You don't even notice the nickname until he chuckles behind you.

"How can you be so cute and so sexy at the same time? You'll be the death of me, my good little girl."

He places a kiss onto your cheek and that is what finally drives you over the edge.

"Fuck, San. I'm coming," you moan out before your high crashes over you. If he wasn't holding you, you would fall to the ground. You try to hold eye contact with San through the reflection but your eyes keep on shutting as waves of pleasure roll over you. You have never felt such an intensity before.

But San's thrust don't slow down this time. He keeps on rutting into you relentlessly, driving you to insanity. You feel like you're swimming in a pool of pleasure.

"I'm close, darling. Just a little longer," San's voice is pitched higher than before, sounding just as desperate as you feel. You want nothing more but for him to come.

"Please, Sannie. I want you to come so bad."

Your desperate pleas are San's final straw. Clutching your body tight to his own, he finishes with his cock buried deep inside you. You can feel him pulsating in your heat and your moans mix into his grunts as you milk him for every last drop of his cum.

As you both slowly recover San pulls out of you and gently lays you back onto the bed. You can't do anything but catch your breath while he gets up to rid himself of the condom and return to you with a glass of water.

"Drink something," he urges you on and you take the glass from him. He watches you with a tinge of worry in his eyes. After taking a few sips you offer the glass back to him.

"You should drink some too, I'm sure you worked your body more than I did."

He smiles at your words and takes some water too before returning the glass to his bedside table. When he looks back at you there is a heaviness to his gaze that worries you.

"What is it?" you ask.

San takes a deep breath before answering you. "No matter what I said to you before, I actually didn't expect us to tumble into this as quickly as we did right now. And I want you to know that I didn't do this to use you or take any advantage of you."

His hand nervously grabs for the back of his neck. "Actually, I've been interested in you ever since we first met but I fear the tension between us was quicker than both of us."

You try to process his words even in your hazy state of mind. A spark of excitement surges through your body as you realize what he is saying.

"I feel the same, San," you reply truthfully. "I like you. And not just because you're insanely handsome."

You are glad when he laughs shyly at your words.

"So maybe I can take you out on a date that doesn't involve work or pharmacy studies sometime?"

"I hope sometime means this week, because I waited long enough for you already."

After everything that happened this evening, this moment when he smiles at you might be what makes your heart beat the fastest. You can't believe your luck as you look Choi San into the eyes and he leans in for a kiss.

-----------------

"This was a stupid idea," you say to San but maybe more to yourself. "I should tell her alone."

"How will she ever respect me again if I let you do this alone?" San replies worriedly. "She told me to tutor you and now here we are. I will look terrible either way."

You have never seen him this nervous. But after all, your mother has the ability to make everybody scared for their life. You two pass her assistant's desk with a polite greeting as you head straight for your mother's office. She knows you are coming but she doesn't know you're bringing company.

You knock carefully on the door until her voice calls you in. Your mother stays seated as you two enter the room. She doesn't look surprised or confused about San's appearance but rather intrigued.

"Why are you visiting me today, y/n?" she asks simply.

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you prepare for answering.

"I have something to announce to you," you start off as confident as you can. 

Your mother's eyes flick between you and San. "Go on."

"San- ... Mr. Choi and I, we are..." your voice is shaking. Why is this so hard for you?

But San grabs for your hand, linking his fingers with yours as he confidently finishes your sentence: "We are in a relationship, director Kim."

His boldness strikes you as admiring. Maybe he was right about accompanying you.

A silence that draws out unbearably long fills the room. You feel like your lungs are being compressed with every passing second.

Then your mother smiles. It's not exactly a smile of happiness. It speaks more of victory.

"Finally," she announced. "It took you two longer than I expected."

Now it's your turn to be silent. Both you and San are stunned in your places.

Finally you find your voice to ask: "What do you mean, mom?"

She smiles at you in satisfaction.

"You see: Mr. Choi is a good man. He's a gentleman, treats his colleagues with the utmost respect, excels at his job and is handsome too. How could I find a better match for my beloved daughter? But I know you wouldn't be interested if I were to formerly introduce you two so I thought I'd help you in a different way."

Your mouth falls open in shock. Out of all things, your mother purposefully setting you up with San has never even crossed your mind. Your boyfriend seems even more shocked at the revelation than you, his face reddened and a stunned expression on his face.

"So you set us two up?" You finally ask your mother.

"Of course I did! And it worked out brilliantly, don't you think? I'm glad you both came to tell me. Mr. Choi?"

San perks up at her words. "Yes?"

"I assume you will take good care of my daughter?"

"Of course I will," he replies sternly, voice full of sincerity. "I will do everything care for y/n." His words make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Your mother nods approvingly. "Then you two may leave. I still have work to do."

You both nod hastily and thank your mother before turning back for the door.

"Oh, before I forget. Y/n?" your mother asks one last time.

"Yes?"

"I received your test results that you sent me. They look very promising."

I hope you enjoyed <3 Pls reblog and leave feedback if you can :)

Tags: @voicesinmyhead-rc

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

a shopping mall. l Joel Miller

Summary: after the loss you tried to rebuild your life together

Warnings: fluff; Joel and Reader are anxious but keep trying; Ellie is embarrassed; childbirth; emotional concerns; remembering loss; some hope

A/N: you know what? I like this story. writing these chapters gives me a lot of comfort and pleasure. I know I've been mean to them lately, but I'm trying to fix that. I'm happy when I have the opportunity to read your opinions, it gives me strength and support. thank you for being here and reading.

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

It was like walking on thin ice together. Slowly, carefully taking steps to avoid cracks and get to the other side as quickly and safely as possible. The icy water could kill you, and if one of you fell in, it was certain that the other would do everything to save him, and then he would go down.

That's how it was with you and Joel for the next few days. Or at least that's how you both saw it and felt it.

Everything happened slowly - small gestures, conversation, allowing yourself to feel. You, in moments when darkness consumes your mind, prefer to withdraw, isolate yourself from others. Now you were overcoming your fears.

And Joel saw how you fought it every time you approached him and told him that this day was not one of your best. You also allowed him to do what he did best, take care of you, without irritation or saying "I'll manage on my own." Because you were no longer alone.

Joel tried too. He had never been familiar with emotions, and now they were overwhelming him from every side. And there was you, he wanted to be able to support you and help you, so he came out of his safe cocoon every time you sat next to him and talked. He also held back not to wrap you in the protective blanket of his concern. And that was really hard.

This time was really fruitful for you. Soon he heard your laughter, quiet and really sincere. He felt your embrace, even when in his sleep you were the one who was snuggling up to his back, kissing him lightly.

You both knew that what you were building this time was really strong, and you both wanted it.

"Damn, that's embarrassing."

Dina looked in the direction Ellie was pointing and giggled. "I think it's really cute."

Ellie frowned and looked at her friend. "Do you think Joel is cute?"

Dina rolled her eyes and shoved a few fries in her mouth. It wasn't until she swallowed that she decided to speak. "They're cute together." She explained, watching you and Joel dance across the room. "Think about it. We all have our own backgrounds, and they're just enjoying each other's company. Maybe they're a little embarrassing..." At that moment, Joel spun you around a few times, when he wanted to he could be a really good dancer. "But that's cute."

Ellie snorted and shook her head. She had a feeling Dina might have been right, and she was actually glad to see you at the Tipsy Bison dance. Things were going really well between you both, and Ellie breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment, a really short one, she was afraid that what happened would be the end of you, and she didn't want that. Joel could be grumpy, and you could be a bit bossy sometimes, but she knew that you both cared and truly loved her.

She often thought back to one night, when your eyes were so sad and glassy, you looked at her and said quietly "I really love you, Ellie... You're perfect just the way you are.", and Ellie really felt it.

"Naaah!" she sighed, taking a couple of fries from Dina and stuffing them into her mouth "I still think they're embarrassing."

Dina burst out laughing.

You plopped down on a chair at the bar, wishing you could just grab a cold drink. Joel had disappeared with Tommy for a moment, and you were trying to catch your breath. It was a warm and pleasant evening, and you were really glad that Joel had suggested you come here.

"We're bumping into each other again!" a nice male voice rang out to your left, and someone sat down in the empty chair.

"Oh! Hi, Elliot." You greeted the man, smiling, "I didn't know you'd be here."

"It's a nice evening, why would I be home alone." he replied, "Can I get you a drink? Don't make me beg."

You glanced toward the entrance, but Joel was still talking to Tommy, so you figured you could use Elliot's company. You'd met a few days earlier when he'd shown up in Jackson, and you'd bumped into each other at the store.

"Shane said you two went on patrol together."

"Mhm." you nodded, taking a sip of your cold drink "And you? Would you like to take part in this too?"

"And could I be your partner?" he asked, winking at you and chuckling "Just kidding!" he added, seeing that he had caught you off guard "But I'd gladly take some advice from you, to be honest. You've been in Jackson much longer than I have and people know you, respect you..."

"Thank you." you felt warmth creep up your neck "You'd have to talk to Tommy about it, I'm not the one making decisions."

"Sure! I'll talk to him. Or maybe you'd like to..."

You felt someone wrap their arms around your waist tightly, and then familiar lips brushed your temple. "Sorry it took so long."

"Don't worry. I ordered you a beer." you replied, smiling at Joel "And this is Elliot."

The man greeted Joel, who responded pleasantly, but you clearly felt his hand find yours and your fingers intertwined tightly. You all talked for a while longer, about patrols, about life in Jackson, until Elliot finally said goodbye and disappeared among the people.

"What?" you asked, feeling Joel's gaze on you.

He shrugged. "I don't know. You tell me."

You finished your drink and rested your chin on your hand. Brown eyes stared at you, slightly shining from the beer Joel had drunk. "I won't believe you if you say you're jealous." you said finally.

He shook his head, smiling broadly. "I'm not, darling. I know perfectly well that you're only mine, but..." he sighed deeply "I feel a little sorry for guys who think they have a chance."

You patted him on the shoulder, bursting into laughter. "Really? Where are you so sure of that, Miller?"

He leaned in as if to whisper something in your ear. His voice was low and made your body shiver pleasantly. "I just know it, darling." Warm lips brushed your ear, and then he pecked you on the lips. "Come on! Let's go home. Ellie told me we're embarrassing her. Our mission accomplished.”

As soon as she opened her eyes she could feel that something was wrong. But it wasn't until she got out of bed and took the first few steps that she felt it. Something strange unexpectedly ran down her legs and onto the floor.

"Shane!" Ann moaned loudly, looking at the wet spot beneath her. "Shane! Fuck, come here!"

The bathroom door opened and the man stepped out nonchalantly, still brushing his teeth. "Whaaa?" he asked.

"I think I'm in labor." Ann grabbed her stomach as if that would stop everything and looked at her husband with a mixture of fear and excitement.

"Yeah, right... Fuck!"

He wondered the whole way from the stables to the house how he should tell you about that. Should he even tell you? Sooner or later you'd find out anyway. The door creaked quietly as he entered the house. The sun was streaming into the kitchen where you were preparing breakfast.

Joel looked at you for a moment. He liked moments like this and wanted to record them in his memory for as long as possible. You read on the couch, you sleep in your bed, you laugh with Ellie, you cuddle up to him... Many moments with you were already recorded in his head, good and bad, happy and sad. He wanted to remember everything.

"You're staring again." You glanced at him over your shoulder, smiling.

Joel entered the kitchen and cleared his throat. "Shane took Ann to the clinic today. She went into labor this morning."

You turned around abruptly and looked at him with wide eyes. "And?" you whispered.

"She gave birth two hours ago. Tommy told me." Joel replied. "Shane won't be going on patrol for a while and..."

"Boy or girl?" you interrupted him quickly.

Joel frowned, surprised by the question. "A boy."

"I knew it!" you were excited, you pressed your hands to your lips, and your eyes sparkled like stars. Joel smiled at the sight, and then he hugged you when you suddenly threw your arms around his neck "Oh, I had a feeling it would happen soon! I'm so happy."

Joel stroked your back and smiled to himself. Only when you pulled away did he notice that you suddenly frowned.

"Is everything okay, honey?" he asked with concern. He noticed how you bit your lip, clearly worried about something.

Finally, you folded your arms over your chest. "I didn't have time to prepare anything for the baby..." you sighed "I wanted to give them something, but so much has been going on lately and.."

"No problem. I can go with you to that old mall. They should have a kids store there, maybe you can find something."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to have to change your plans especially for me."

He walked over to you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you closer to him. “And who would I change my plans for if not for you, huh? Besides, you lost your partner on patrol for a while. Let me join you.”

You chuckled. "Oh, I don't know what my boyfriend will think about this. He can be a little jealous."

"So we won't tell him anything." Before you knew it, he kissed your neck. "It'll be our secret and..."

"Ugh! Disgusting! Do you really have to do this here? Before breakfast?" Ellie groaned as she entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.

Joel rolled his eyes and looked at the girl. "We were alone before you came."

"And you're not anymore, so please keep your hands to yourself."

The mall had been abandoned for many years. Many things had been taken and used, both by the residents of Jackson and by other people trying to survive. Your footsteps echoed quietly as you and Joel headed towards the baby store. You passed under the half-lowered blinds and entered.

"Don't spend all your money, honey." Joel mumbled, looking around the interior, which still had a lot of assortment. He walked between the dusty shelves, still keeping an eye on you as you looked through the drawers.

You soon found some necessary things - a few pacifiers, a baby blanket, a few clothes. You put all of that in your bag. It was only then that you noticed something that caught your eye. The smallest onesies you had ever seen in your life. You hesitantly touched the material decorated with colorful dots.

"You okay?"

Joel stood right behind you, looking at you with a mixture of worry and confusion, he didn't know what to expect.

"Did you know that babies could be so small?" you asked, taking the onesies in your hands and looking at them closer.

He was silent for a moment, but finally spoke. "When Sarah was born, she practically fit in the palm of my hand. I'm sure Ellie was the same."

"I'm sorry... I didn't think that you... I'm sorry, Joel."

"You don't have to. I almost forgot about it." he replied, kissing your head. "Did you find everything?"

You looked around the inside and stuffed the onesies into your already full bag. "Yeah, I guess so. I think Ann prepared well enough anyway. I wouldn't want to come to her empty-handed though."

"She'll definitely be happy when you come anyway. Let's go back, honey."

He was a little scared about all of this, but he hoped you were in a different place now. You had only met up with Ann a few weeks after what had happened, and she had been really stressed out then. You were her friend, and she was afraid of hurting you or bringing up painful memories. Joel was sure she and Shane had talked about the both of you, but he didn't hold it against them. They were both your friends, and they cared about you.

It was surprising though that your loss had reached so many people around you.

Joel felt your hand in his and glanced at you as you fell into step with him.

"Thank you for bringing me here." You said, the corners of your lips turning up. "I've missed doing this with you."

"Me too, baby. Me too."

He leaned down and pecked your soft lips. You were on the right track.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @somedayheaven @underneath-the-sky-again @callmebyyournick-name

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

“You get me so…so soaked!!”˚✿˖ᥫ᭡.

synopsis: Zayne needs more you more than food during his lunch break ;)

tags: semi-public, softdom!Zayne, desperation, penetration, on the table…, nipple play, dirty talk, vulgar, explicit, desperate asa Zayne my favorite flavor

wrd cnt: 1.5k

a/n: finally wrote a longer ish fic and lord i need this man in ways that sets back feminism…special thanks to @astarionapologist bc i made them go take screenshots for these zayne pics…

Your heels clink against the spotless hospital floor, your eyebrows slightly contort due to the harsh fluorescent lights casting a sterile glow over everything. The smell of antiseptic and alcohol hangs heavy in the air, but your heart quickens as you finally spot Zayne sitting at one of the tables in the break room, his head in his hands as his slender fingers rub at the sides of his temple. He looks up as you enter, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you.

"Y/n, I'm so glad you're here," he says, his voice thick with emotion. He stands up and pulls you into a tight embrace, his strong arms enveloping you. You can feel the tension in his body, the stress and anxiety of his upcoming surgery weighing heavy on him.

He pulls back and looks at you, his eyes pleading. "I've missed you”, he says, holding the side of your face and making you blush at his sudden confession.

You reach up and run your fingers through his hair, fixing small pieces out of place.

"I've missed you too, Zayne," you murmuras you stand in his arms, holding a box in your hand he’s yet to ask about.

“A gift for me?” He chuckles, taking it after your little nudges.

He opens your scarf wrapped lunch box to reveal a beautiful assortment of sweets.

His eyes widen, embarrassed you know his guilty pleasure so well.

He winces, “you know…giving your doctor diabetes in a box is quite humorous.” He closes the lid, placing your gift on the counter behind him. “Nonethless…I’ll probably get through the entire thing by the end of the day…” He fesses up, smiling at you.

“Wait! At least try one first-!” You insist.

He sighs, knowing he can’t even try to say no to you.

You grab a chocolate covered strawberry since it wouod be the the first to melt, and let Zayne take a bite.

You watch with big eyes as he chews, nodding softly in response.

“Soooo?” You ask.

“It’s very nice, did you make these just for me?”

You nod, wiping away a small smear of chocolate in the corner of his mouth.

His eyes trail your hand before noticing residual chocolate.

As is it was the antidote to a poison, he grabs your wrists and puts the tip of your finger in his mouth, licking off the confectionery.

“Sorry…I really like it.”

You chuckle, “there’s more in the box-“

“I meant something else.” He says sternly.

It took a few seconds for what he said to register, but it was quickly reinforced when you felt his sweet lips touch yours, tasting hints of strawberry as his tongue tangles with yours, his soft groans filling the cavern of your mouth while the grip on your hand trials up to interlock your fingers together.

Before the kiss is broken, he’s got you pushed into a table, pausing just for a second to remove his fogged up glasses.

He groans, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "I need you, y/n. Please…” His breath is heavy, “I just need to feel something else, something good….you”.

You can feel the heat building between you as he backs you up against the table, body pressed flush against yours. His hands are all over you, gripping your hips, running up your thighs, tangling in your hair.

"Zayne, we can't do this in here-," you protest half-heartedly, even as you arch your back, pressing yourself against him. “Someone could walk in at any moment now-”.

"I don't care," he growls, his voice low and rough. "I need you” he groans, “so much.”

He lifts you up onto the table, pushing your skirt up around your waist. His fingers find your underwear, tugging them aside as he sinks to his knees in front of you. You gasp as his tongue finds your clit, his hands gripping your thighs as he devours you.

"Zayne, oh god," you moan, your hands fisting in his hair as he licks and sucks at you.

He looks up at you, his eyes dark with desire. "You’re soaked…I think you might like the riskiness of this all?"

Before you could argue back, your words start to slur in retort as he dives back into you, placing your thighs on his shoulders as he continues his work on your most sensitive spot.

You can't deny the thrill that courses through you as you both skirt the line of danger.

Zayne's hands roam your body, exploring every inch of you as his tongue works its magic. You can feel yourself quickly spiraling towards release, your hips bucking against his face as you chase the feeling.

Suddenly, you hear footsteps outside the door, coming closer and closer. Panic sets in as you realize how exposed you are, but Zayne doesn't seem to care.

In fact, the danger only seems to turn him on more, his fingers plunging deeper inside of you as his tongue continues to flick back and forth, sucking on your pearl to make you moan even louder.

You bite your lip to keep from crying out as the footsteps pass by the door, the sound fading away into the distance. Zayne finally looks up at you, a wicked smile on his face.

"I told you, you liked the risk," he says, standing back up and soothing your head and helping you come down from your high.

“Perhaps, we should finish before someone really does walk in?”

You were run out of half asses excuse, and frankly you might have needed him more now.

In a snap decision, you pull the collar of his white coat and kiss him, tasting the remnants of yourself that coated his lips.

While his hands are focused on holding the sides of your neck, yours trial down his body; feeling every particular muscle down his chest and torso, your hand soothing over his abs under his shirt and unbuttoned coat before pulling the latch of his belt.

He lets out a deep groan against your mouth as you palm over his cock, painfully hard and most eager for your attention.

“Please…touch me more.” He begs, his forehead resting on yours, his eyes shut as he focuses on how good your hands feel.

You release him from his clothes, taking his erection into your hand, slowly pumping it just enough to illicit painful excitement from the doctor.

“Y/n- Please…I can’t take this.”

You look into his eyes, his warm and sultry glare that begs you to allow him release.

He gets closer to you, taking his own tip and smearing it up and down your slit, a sharp breathe leaving your nostrils.

“Is this okay?” He whispers, watching every inch of your face accept him before he plunges it inside you in one movement.

“A-Ah- Zayne…!” You moan, forgetting for a moment the height of your volume in such a vulnerable situation.

“I’m sorry- I just can’t…” his forehead falls on your shoulder, arm wrapped around your waist as the other curiously roams your body, tweaking your nipple through the thin fabric of your shirt. “Can’t get enough of you”.

You grip his shoulders tight, the white coat wrinkling under your firm fingers as the table behinds to rock.

He pounds you, painfully slow; savoring the engulfing feeling of your walls around every inch of him, his stress seeming to melt away while fucking you.

“God- I love you.” He whispers, more raspy and guttural the more and more he repeats it. Like a mantra, repeating the phrase over and over as he thrusts his cock deep inside you while you remain glued to him.

The intensity of the moment is almost overwhelming, but in the best way possible. The way Zayne looks at you, with pure desire and love, makes your heart race. You feel him inside you, every thrust, every whisper of love, every twitch of his cock.

Zayne continued to move inside you, you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. The pleasure is building, tightening in your core, and you know that you're not going to be able to hold back much longer, reaching a plateau.

You tighten your legs around Zayne's waist, pulling him deeper inside you. “Y/n-“ He groans in response, his movements becoming more urgent as he chases his own release.

You can feel him getting closer, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he reaches the breaking point. And then, with one final thrust, he stills, burying himself deep inside you as he comes.

The feeling of him inside you, pulsing and throbbing, is enough to send you over the edge. You cry out, your orgasm rippling through you as you cling to Zayne, unable to let go. He holds you close, whispering words of love and devotion as you ride out the waves of pleasure.

As if it were a perfectly timed sign, you hear Zayne’s pager go off as soon as you two had composed yourself, giving him an encouraging kiss on the cheek as he’s on his way.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[siddyyyyyyyy]

You're Only Sixteen

wc: ~4.6k

summary: child soldier joins task force 141 part THREE; part two, part one; part four

warnings: brief flashback, blood, violence, nightmares

a/n: I'm genuinenly happy how well this is going so far, I'm going to update the parts a bit more slowly for now, but I'm pretty sure I won't take too long on this. Probably. Enjoy!

This time, Ghost is leading the training for today. That just means they're no fun games like last time with Price, not that you were looking forward to it. Starting at the shooting range is like a warm-up for you, landing all shots while doing everything casually. Your reload is fast and precise, your aim is almost always perfect, and your technique couldn't be more clean.

Sparring was similar to the last time, but now you're paired up with Soap. You're both getting in your stance, knees slightly bent, one leg forward, and abdominal muscles tense. Both ready to fight, but this time without any weapons. Ghost specifically told him to strike first, wanting to see how long you can last or even win against Soap. It shouldn't be a big deal for you, even though he is quite a big guy, full of muscle, and slightly taller than you. You've mostly had opponents your size or bigger in field, and you never really had a problem winning or lasting long. Well, besides one person back in camp.

Soap strikes you first with a sharp jab to your side, but you dodge it quickly, hitting him back. You focus on your technique instead of winning, wanting to be strong against him. He seems to be focussing more on his technique as well, noticing how fast he works and his reflexes are. Your fighting styles are similar; the only difference is how you two use it in practice. While he's using more strength and power, you're trying to be quicker than your opponent and trick them.

You kick against his knee, and land some hits against his weak points, it's hard for him to stay balanced or focused. He huffs and stumbles back, only to rush to you quickly and try to tackle you down. With his amount of strength, it's difficult to actually stop him or dodge, having to think quickly. With a small grunt, however, you're down, with him trying to keep you like that. Your heartbeat speeds up and your eyes widen, your breath hitching in your throat. The position you're in is too familiar; trying to get out of it as quickly as you can. Soap is oblivious, just training with you and having tackled you down, keeping you pinned on the mat. Your brain is quick to handle, pulling out the same moves you did in camp. Soap doesn't even realise he's getting into a headlock by you at first. His back on the mat with your arm holding him tight around his neck, feeling how you're only squeezing him more and more with your bicep. He grips your arm and tries to relax, not wanting to get hurt. Luckily, that's all it takes for you to snap back to reality and let go. You sigh out heavily and stand back up, calming down.

»Ye alright?« He asks you even though he should be the one getting checked up on. You give him a weary nod, clearing your throat.

»Yeah, sorry about that.«

You mumble back and focus on not thinking back to the time in camp. It's almost confusing you now, how similar and suffocating it felt. But you know better than to think back to a time like that and distract yourself in training. Soap tilts his head with a confused gaze.

»What do ye mean? The headlock? Nah, that was sick.«

He encourages you with a thumbs up. You nod, unsure of what to say back. The training continues with trembling hands and more focussing on your breathing than technique, feeling on edge the entire time, thanks to the small trigger. Of course, no one has noticed these signs from you, or at least no one has said anything about it. On the other hand, you're glad no one has noticed your trembling hands and more or less distracted mind during the time.

Once it's over, you're headed to the showers and straight back to your bunk. That was more off-putting now that you're alone in your small room, thinking quietly to yourself about what had happened. You shouldn't feel this way, having thought you were over it a long time ago. Maybe it was something else that triggered you, or maybe you really aren't over it yet. Getting in a pin on the ground was one thing your past rival used on you as much as he could. You don't know the real reason behind his technique, but all you do know is how weird and creepy it felt like.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips once more, slumping down on your bed with no energy. Today's training was longer but not as exhausting as the one at camp. But you still feel very tired for no reason. You close your eyes and try to shut your brain off; instead, a lot of thoughts appear about your rival and that god awful training. You don't know why he's all of a sudden back in your mind. You don't know why you're thinking so much about it, and you don't know why you can't stop thinking about him. He was such an annoying and unpleasant person that you tried so hard to forget about, yet he can't seem to give you peace. Even when you're finally away from him.

After spending most of your day inside your bunk, trying to get your mind off old memories, it's time to actually try and do something about it. With slow steps, you make your way back to the training hall. It's dark out already, forcing you to walk cautiously around and not wake anyone. Eventually, you made it in and looked around for a punching bag… and something to wrap your knuckles with. You don't want to injure yourself after all.

It's dimly lit in the training hall, making it seem more cosy and relaxing. Especially with no one inside beside you. There are five punching bags to use in a row, but unfortunately no bandages or gloves for your hands. It is what it is, and you walk up to one of these punching bags to release some tension and stress. After getting into the stance, you land a few softer punches to get used to the feeling again. Maybe it's because you're alone in here, but it already seems too loud for you. Checking behind you, the double door is closed, so there's no way someone could hear you from their bunk.

You start again, using proper technique, and gradually become faster and put more strength into your punches. The punching bag suffers through your hard punches, taking it like a champ, all the while your mind zones out. Zoned out, all you can think about is your past rival back at camp. You don't remember his name; didn't even bother asking for it back then. But you do remember how creepy and annoying he used to be to you, for no reason. And that's enough for your punches to grow heavier and even quicker, the punching sounds are growing louder through the hall. Maybe your knuckles are hurting at this point, but you don't care. That bastard had no reason to treat you like that, leaving you confused, hurt, and probably traumatized.

It's only then when a gruff voice calls out through the hall, speaking to no one other than you.

»Didn't you have enough training for today?«

You stop in your tracks and turn around, seeing that familiar shadow again. Ghost.

Glancing down at your knuckles, you notice how red they look just from how hard you've been punching that bag for… how long already? You didn't keep track, but it seems like more than ten minutes, judging from your aching knuckles. Ghost has crossed his arms, glaring at you with tired eyes.

»Go back to bed, 's way too late for this.« He adds with a more weary tone and leaves no room for arguments, cocking his head slightly to the side. You sigh out rather disappointed, knowing you shouldn't talk back, but you also can't stop just now.

»But I just started...« You mumble and trail off at the end, already smelling how annoyed he is with you. He shakes his head, being as serious as before.

»I won't tell you again. Don't overwork yourself and go to sleep. Let your body rest. We've got trainin' tomorrow, too.« Ghost is not joking with you, probably being more stern than he needs to be. But he knows better than to let you work too much or stress over something for no reason. In his eyes, you're just a poor child who happens to have this fate and is forced to get along with it on your own. Too much alike himself. Eventually, your shoulders drop in defeat, and you nod in understanding.

»Fine. Sorry about that.« He doesn't respond back and just leaves, most likely going back to sleep, too. After considering his words and contemplating if you should just stay longer in here, you walk back to your own bunk like promised and fall against your bed. It's comfortable and quiet, dark as well.

But you notice a small med kit on your night stand, bandages and a cream for sore muscles beside it. You blink, thinking it's just your sleep catching up on you, but there is indeed stuff for you on that small table. Eventually, you apply the cream on your red knuckles and wrap them up, laying back on your bed. Maybe it really is just a normal base and rather peaceful. Maybe you could get used to this some time.

Having no energy to think any more about that, you fall asleep quite quickly this time. Even if you fell asleep quickly, it wasn’t a good sleep. A nightmare plagued you, most likely because of the trigger from earlier. A grey room with no windows, similar to your old training room in camp, several people around you, and loud noises everywhere. It’s incoherent nonsense, but you still understand everything clearly. The room is cold and rather dark for some reason; it all seems too much, but there’s nothing at the same time. Your body feels numb, and you’re wearing your bandages around your knuckles, some dried blood decorating the usual whiteness of the material. You notice it too late, but Mike has you on the ground already. The ground is even colder against your back, and you can’t do anything but lay and watch. He’s on top, which he often tried to do on you, and has your wrists and legs pinned tightly beside you.

Everything is so loud but also so quiet, it makes your ears ring. There’s a horrible stench of blood and sweat around the air, which makes it hard to stay still and fight back. Your moves are too slow, having no other choice but to stay like this. Your rival, Mike, slashes quickly through your throat, staying on top in a mocking way. It’s hard to breathe, you’re chocking on your own blood and squirming under him helplessly. The whole dream feels like a flashback, but worse. Too quick, too real.

You don’t remember much of what happened next, because the next thing you know is how you’re trying to control your breath and get rid of the sickening feeling from the nightmare. It’s not unusual you get dreams like this, but never to such an extent of being unable to breathe normally.

The digital clock on your nightstand tells you it’s time to get ready for the day. You couldn’t be more thankful for Ghost to lay the training into early afternoon instead of early morning. Because you know they’d notice if you showed up like this to the hall. Still on edge and tired, feeling as bad as you look right now. You keep trying to tell yourself that it’s normal to feel like this, hoping it’ll pass soon. Deciding to distract your mind, you go out to the park with your small sketchbook in hand. Maybe you will feel better in the fresh air while sketching something down that comes to mind.

But, of course, you never have a few minutes to yourself as a familiar figure comes by and stops in front of you.

»Drawing?« Gaz seems curious and tries to secretly subtly into your sketchbook.

»Sketching.«

»Ah. What exactly?« He carefully asks, knowing not to disturb a teenage girl when they seem peaceful at the moment. Gaz has past experience from his own family and friends, knowing how moody some are.

You hesitate to show him what exactly you’re drawing, and you just shrug in response.

»Just… anything.« That was a boring response to anyone, and he still wasn’t done disturbing your peace. He politely asks if he can sit by you for a while, sitting down on the same bench after you accept his kind offer. Gaz isn’t one to pry or mind someone else’s business, but today he’s really curious. Probably, because it’s been three days since you’ve been here and no one got to know you properly. Maybe they should work on their social skills instead.

»You sketch often?« Finally, he’s asking you about your hobbies. And finally, a normal question after years.

»From time to time.« That’s not true, you’ve been drawing since you remember and ever since. Drawing to kill time? Three pages full with doodles. Sketching something pretty? Two pages full with only that beautiful thing you saw earlier. Filling some pages to get rid of the anxiety? Done.

Gaz doesn’t quite believe your answer as well, noticing there’s only three pages left in there. Instead of prying more into it, he changes the topic slightly.

»So, what’re you drawing then? People?«

Without another word, you hand him your sketchbook, deciding it’s easier and probably faster this way. He takes it wordlessly and flips through the pages carefully. His eyes study the way you drew random people and objects, not having expected how good you’re at this. He glances at you before flipping another page, recognising the person almost immediately.

»Soap? You drew Soap?« You look down to his hands as he’s still holding it, seeing he found the first sketch of his teammate.

»I guess,« There’s no way out of this now, seeing he’s actually quite amused about it, »There’s more, actually.«

His smile widens, not having expected to see realistic drawings of his teammate. And there’s more? Today couldn’t get any better.

»More? You like drawing him or somethin’?« Gaz stops talking once he goes some pages forward, seeing some doodles of himself and Price. Even if it’s just some sketches or doodles, they look surprisingly well-made and semi-realistic. He looks towards you again, holding up that book of yours slightly.

»Can you draw Soap with a moustache?« Out of all questions he could’ve asked, he chose this one. Always picking the important ones. You need a full second to process what he’s asking before you find yourself speechless.

»What do I get for it in return?« Now, he’s the one without words. He considers for a moment as he tilts his head to the side.

»Depends on how well you draw.«

It’s then, when he can’t take himself seriously and chuckles.

»All jokes, I’ll get you a new sketchbook. Seems like this won’t do in a while.«

That’s a deal well struck with him. You can’t deny such an offer and start scribbling down a rough sketch of Soap, added with a moustache. Gaz watches the lines on the blank paper slowly resemble his teammate, grinning at the extra facial hair above his lip. It’s a sight to behold, being glad he could make someone draw a silly pic of this even more goofier SAS soldier.

Once you’re done, you show the page fully to him, and he can’t help but laugh at the drawing. Not because it’s ugly, but because it looks so much like him, and a moustache looks rather silly on his face.

»We gotta show it to him later.« You don’t see why not and nod, already seeing how absurd the situation will be later on.

After the more eventful interaction, it’s time for the usual training. This time, there wasn’t any difference in sparring, only feeling more tired than usual because of the nightmare last night. All you four did, was practice in the shooting range and go about sparring with Soap, leading with him improving your technique and showing some tricks. Of course, like no other time, you all went to the mess hall to eat dinner. You would have forgotten about the silly sketch of Soap if Gaz hadn’t reminded you beforehand to bring it over for dinner.

Sitting in front of the two teammates, Soap is laughing so hard that he’s clutching to his stomach. The drawing was really worth it, being amused at the sight in front of you. At least now, you could eat in peace without one particular person trying to get to know you better.

A familiar shadow appears in the corner of your eye, and you instinctively glance over. Ghost is approaching the table… with a Capri Sun? You look over once again, needing to take a double take to reassure yourself of what you’re seeing. And right, there he was, the scary-looking goth with a Capri Sun in hand.

It’s then that Soap also notices Ghost. Eventually, he stays standing next to the table and places the smaller but sweet drink on the table.

»Oi, what’s that?« The still amused scot questions him, as confused as you and Gaz. Ghost clarifies, finally not being an intimidating tree.

»Shitbox got me this instead of wa’er. Some of you can have it.«

Oh, so he can’t deal with a vending machine. If he weren’t your lieutenant, you would have made fun of him. Gaz nods and looks over to you after noticing you shift in your seat slightly. To him, it’s clear who wants it most. He wasn’t the only one noticing it, and Ghost shifts the drink towards you, mentioning it to you. Or maybe he just doesn’t think the two blokes deserve such a sweet drink and let’s you have it instead.

»You can have it.«

He grumbles before leaving for wherever he needs to go. It’s a bit weird to just receive something like this for no reason, especially from someone like Ghost. Glancing around, the two others seem normal about it, or they’re just good at hiding their real surprise. Eventually, you take the Capri Sun and draw in the orange straw into the packet. Oh, it’s cherry-flavoured. Your favourite.

Even when you thought your small happiness wasn’t so obvious, it turns wrong once Gaz speaks up.

»Taste good?«

You nod back in response and relax your expression as well as you can, not wanting to come off as too giddy for a sweet drink as such. They both grin quietly and continue eating with Price joining in after some time to eat beside you three.

----

It’s been a week there, and it feels less awkward now. You train and practice every day, sometimes sneaking in late at night to punch some bags. Capri Sun is something you get more regularly at lunch because Ghost can’t seem to figure out how to use the vending machine. In reality, he just likes to give you a small treat and see your eyes light up for a split second. It’s his small way to befriend you; it doesn’t matter if it seems silly or stupid, you appreciate it, and there’s no harm to it. You could compare it with an attempt to befriend a cat with treats, and it works well. Consider Ghost as a harmless guy who gives you your favourite drink- just because.

Gaz talks to you the most from the others, occasionally checking up on your new drawings and sketches, promising to get you a new one as soon as he can. He likes your drawings after all. He’s easy to talk to as well, having light conversations with you and a few jokes. Gaz is the most friendly and easygoing of them all for one. At least that’s how he is with you, but you’re sure he can be different too. Soap is as friendly as him, but for some reason you feel like you need to be careful around him.

The problem isn’t him, it’s no one’s fault, really. You know he’s just as nice and supportive, but it seems like the pin he did on you is still in your head. They can always out win you in a fight if you don’t pay attention, and the thought of it makes your skin crawl. Ignoring it most of the time, you trust them all equally. It’s better here than back in camp. If you can still call it that anymore.

Being here, made you realise how toxic it was back then. They don’t judge and punish you for making simple mistakes; they won’t even look at your scars twice or ask about them, and most importantly, no one forces you into something uncomfortable.

You feel safer.

Pushing the constant nightmares and headaches away, it really is more safe and peaceful here.

Today, after training, you cross paths with Ghost. You immediately notice that he’s carrying an almost comically large bag in his arms. Taking a closer look, you see it’s dry dog food. Dog food? Why would he need that? You never took him as someone with pets, and you never saw dogs around on base. Thank God you didn’t.

You nod briefly at him and can’t help it but approach him out of curiosity.

»Do you have a dog?«

He grunts, side eyeing you for a moment.

»Just gonna feed Riley. A K9.«

So, they do have military dogs. How come you never saw them? Back in the old camp, the dogs could roam freely on base. But they also weren’t really nice dogs, always barking and ready to attack anyone. Even you were once chased by a large German Shepherd, almost getting bitten if you weren’t fast enough.

You simply nod back, not sure what to answer to that. Of course, he could sense your shift into uneasiness and nudges your shoulder lightly while walking down the base with you.

»You should get to know some. They’re not scary, don’t worry.« That makes it better only for a moment before you fully process his words. There isn’t really a way you can deny his offer and nod slightly, following him wordlessly. He isn’t as talkative either, but you don’t think that’s a bad thing. You’re lost in thought once he speaks up, shifting the big bag of dog food into his left arm.

»Ever met a big dog? Anything?«

You’re standing outside his office as he asks, opening his door with a key while he waits for your answer.

»Kind of. Got chased by one.« He can’t help but pause for a moment at your blunt answer, eventually getting his door open and stepping in. You follow him in and close the door behind you, noticing a bigger German Shepherd sitting up on the ground. It’s tongue sticks out and seems to be happy about seeing you both, judging from it’s wagging tail.

The dog stays silent though, patiently waiting for their owner to give them some sort of permission. You stay standing near the door, watching the two silently, hoping it won’t do anything. Ghost puts the large bag down against the wall and steps closer to the dog, kneeling down as it happily walks to him and enjoys the few hat pats he gives. You watch them both interact, visibly relaxing slowly as long as the dog is near Ghost and gets fed, getting a few more pats from its tall owner. He turns to you and introduces you to the dog, his hand staying on the dog’s back.

»That’s Riley. A sweet girl- will be joining our next mission, as far as I know.«

That’s totally great. Yeah, sure, you could work with a big dog while having a fear of them. You nod either way, shifting on your feet as you watch the dog from the closed door. Riley munches on her food, seemingly content.

»She seems… nice.«

He can see how unsure you are about the dog, and he guessed he would need to get you used to dogs somehow. Ghost sits down beside Riley, nodding towards her.

»You can pet her. She’s friendly, won’t bite.« He is trying to loosen the tension with a small joke, only seeing how you glance at him before looking back at Riley. Eventually, you approach her with silent steps, being cautious of the still-eating dog. You kneel down beside Ghost, firstly just watching her with anticipation in silence. Riley is quick to realise you are close now too and lifts her head off the bowl of food, trying to get to know you eagerly. She takes a step towards you, and you stay still, not wanting to accidentally make her angry. Ghost beside you can’t help it but feel amused watching you be so stiff while also watching Riley to make sure she won’t make you even more scared.

Riley sniffs around the air shortly before leaning towards your hands on your knees, taking a sniff at them. Before you know it, she’s licking at them. You cringe at the feeling, leaning a bit away from her.

Beside you, Ghost grins under his mask, glad that you don’t seem to be scared and more amused at how you react to Riley’s sudden affection. Suddenly, the K9 is trying to lick at your face, but you turn away with a small groan. Ghost pets her on the back, commanding her to sit down for now.

It takes a moment for Riley to fully calm down, her tail still wiggling back and forth. Ghost hands you some treats and wants to show you what tricks this joyful dog can do. Riley follows his commands flawlessly, rolling over, laying down, playing dead, able to stand on her back paws for a few seconds.

You extend your hand to give her a few treats- the small cookies in shape of bones in the palm of your hand. She eats it out of there happily, probably having a blast right now.

Riley is a good dog, even when she wants to give you affection through licking your hand, which mostly feels weird, but overall she doesn’t overwhelm you like the past dogs in your life.

Ghost also seems to be satisfied with the end result, however, he couldn’t let go of your words earlier. Normally, he would mind his business, but this is a sixteen-year-old we’re talking about.

»So, you were chased by one?«

You glance at him shortly, unsure of how to explain it to him now. You try it out, explaining it to him as shortly as you can.

»We also had some K9’s on camp and I was chased by one because I wasn’t careful enough.« You don’t realise how shocking that sounds before he gives you a look of disbelief. He asks again, gently petting Riley behind her ear.

»Your own camp had dogs, and one chased you? Why’s that?« You only shrug in response, not sure yourself. The dogs were mostly trained to be aggressive and were held rather roughly.

»I believe they got extra trained to be as aggressive as possible.«

He only hums out in acknowledgement, letting go of Riley and standing back up. Every time he hears more about your camp it is when he loses five years of his life. You follow right after him, standing up and getting a last glance at the sweet dog.

»Go, get your shower.« He mumbles, reminding you of taking your shower since you joined him after training, finally able to rinse off your sweat. You nod and leave without another word, taking a quick rest before eating dinner in the mess hall.

a/n: Hope you had fun reading this, it was a bit longer than the last part. The next one is probably going to be just as long. I hope you enjoed it!

[buccini555]

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 - 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧

≡ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚... They called you (their wife) several times but you didn't answer because your cell phone just ran out of battery, but this ended up worrying them

⌕ x r e a d e r !

★ 𝑭𝒕. Manjiro Sano, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Rindou Haitani and Kakucho Hitto

𝐌𝐚𝐧���𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨

Manjiro called you frequently when he wasn't idle to make sure you were okay even though he was so far away from you, at that moment, he had been trying to call you for some time, when he realized that your cell phone was out of range, he began to become extremely worried.

"Honey? Answer, now, dammit!" He would say dialing your number countless times, with each missed call he became more distressed, pacing from one side to the other, all he could think was that something bad had happened to you, Manjiro began to tremble, as if his heart was being crushed, even so, he continued to call you insistently, leaving several messages and sending several messages.

"Babe? Where the fuck were you? Shit, I was worried about you." As soon as you managed to charge your phone's battery, you returned Manjiro's calls, who answered immediately.

"Sorry, my phone died." You said, noticing the distress in Manjiro's trembling voice and the anxiety in his intonation.

"Start paying more attention to your damn phone battery... I'm glad you're okay." He felt calmer knowing that his concern was unnecessary, so he soon ended up hanging up the phone call.

𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨

Haruchiyo cares extremely about his wife's well-being, so whenever he's not around to keep her safe, Sanzu takes advantage of any free time to make a few calls to see if everything was okay or if you were really in need of something.

As usual, he called you, noticing the delay in a response, the taller started to get a little impatient and uncomfortable, realizing that this was an unusual situation, concern took over him.

"Shit, shit! Something happened... I'm sure it happened." Sanzu said in a loud thought as he sent you thousands of messages, still calling you instantly and realizing that your cell phone was out of range, his desperation only increased every minute as if he was about to have an anxiety or panick attack.

"Honey? Honey where were you? I was worried, did something happen?" As soon as you could answer, Haruchiyo didn't even allow you to explain yourself, already filling you with questions.

"I'm sorry, Haru, my cell phone ran out of battery." You spoke, relieving his anxiety at that moment.

"Holy shit, I thought you were kidnapped." Haruchiyo laughed nervously and reassured himself that you were okay.

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

No matter how busy and busy Rindou was, he always found a way to call you to see if you were okay even with his absence because he was far away, Rindou remained even more worried in case something happened to his wife.

"Hey love?" Rindou said, but before you could even respond, your cell phone's battery died, as soon as the call dropped without the older even hearing your voice, a huge worry took over your chest.

"Fuck!?" He sent you countless messages and tried to call you back countless times, however, he realized that your cell phone was out of range, probably turned off, this fact made him feel even more distressed by your sudden absence.

"Rin? Sorry, my phone died." When your cell phone called again, you could finally talk to Rindou, seeing so many missed calls, you couldn't even imagine how worried he was.

"It's okay, princess. The important thing is that you're okay." He breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he heard his voice, Rindou spent a few minutes questioning if you were really okay as he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨

When he had to be away from you for some reason, Kakucho was completely concerned about being away in case something happened to you or that you needed him by your side, even if he was busy to the bone, Kakucho always found a way to get away from you a time to at least give you a call to make sure his wife was safe and well.

"Love?" He questioned himself as to why his cell phone was turned off and out of range, as unusual as it was for you not to answer his calls, at first, Kakucho tried to simply remain calm, but with each missed call his concern only increased, making him call you countless times and send countless messages, Kakucho began to think about what bad could have happened to you, making his heart beat increasingly faster due to anxiety.

"I'm sorry! My phone was out of battery, Kaku." When I finally managed to talk to him, he noticed how desperate he was, Kakucho honestly worried a lot, but all of this was a reflection of his love for you.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry for calling you so many times, I'm worried, I love you." Kakucho replied, still frantic but with his heart relieved to know that nothing bad had happened to you as he had compulsively imagined.

[mehwmidklpe]

A DEMI-WHAT NOW??

Percy Jackson x Mortal!Gf

A DEMI-WHAT NOW?? PART 2

(I don't like this one tbh, but I needed to post smth for Percy so...)

You might just be the only teenager to be glad when the summer vacation is over.

Whenever summer vacation arrived, Percy Jackson left.

Why?

Wouldn't be much of a question, almost everyone goes to a different location for the summer.

Only his mother never went with him, his steph-dad didn't either.

But it's okay cause his mom told you he goes to summer camp every year.

That does not explain the weird behavior or the dissapearing he often does.

Like a few years ago he was gone for the entire winter break, leaving you on delivered, voicemail and worried.

Anyway, that doesn't matter considering it's not summer right now which means Percy is in Manhattan with you.

You were laying on his bed together. His parents were out of town, so you were all alone.

It was nice, being with Percy, talking about anything and nothing at all. Both of you had two smiles on your lips as you lied next to each other.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Percy was absolutely whipped for you. He always showed it in some way.

Words, glances, touches, kisses

You hummed contently. "Normally I'd slap you." You started. "I know." Percy smiled. "But I'm just happy to be with you right now." You continued, scooting closer to him.

"Me too." He agreed with made you smile. "I love you." "I love you too." The way he said it made you feel like melting.

As if anything else anyone else had ever told you in your entire life was a complete lie.

As if Percy Jackson's love for you was the only truth.

You nudged his nose with yours, the smiles on your lips never leaving as you leaned in. Your gaze on his beautiful eyes that reminded you of the ocean.

Then just as you were about to kiss, Percy sat up.

A frown formed itself on your forehead at his sudden action. "Percy? You okay?" You question. The boy took a breath. "Uhm.. Wise Girl.. Maybe–maybe you should go home. I'll call you."

Wait what?

"What? But why? I thought–" "Don't take this personal. Please. I love you, I do, you know that. You just... you should really go." It was like he was in a rush, trying to get you out as soon as possible.

What was that about?

"Percy what's going on–" A loud smash interrupted you and before you could process it some weird, un-humanly figure stood into your boyfriend's room.

"Perseus Jackson."

Why the heck did that thing just call him Perseus?

Your boyfriend is not the demigod who cut off Medusa's head.

"Percy." You repeated, backing away from the weird looking creature. "I told you to leave." He said, although he didn't sound mad. More like worried.

He stood infront of you, his arm keeping you behind him, his other hand reaching into his pocket to pull out a pen.

You gulped. "What is a pen gonna d–Oh my God." Your lips parted as you saw the pen turn into a bronze sword. 

Before you knew it, your boyfriend was fighting the monster. The way he was fighting gave away that he had done it tons of times before cause dam he was good.

You'd be drooling over him right now if your life wasn't in danger.

The room was a mess by now, everything was ruined, and all you could do was watch how Percy fought that ugly thing. 

Only you couldn't stand it anymore. So you grabbed the sharpest thing you could find in te room, and before the ugly ass could hurt Percy, you attacked.

Before you knew it all that was left was dust. The monster was gone.

You were panting as you and Percy ust stood there, frozen in place.

"What. the heck. was that?" 

"What do you mean 'Camp Halfblood'?"

Percy had sat down with you, trying to explain where the monster came from, where he went every summer, that kinda stuff.

"It's a camp for halfblood's like me." Percy says to you. "Since when are you a halfblood? halfbloods are people with two different ethnicities. You're American." You frown at which he shook his head. "Not like that."

"Y/n.." He took your soft hands into his.

"I'm a demigod."

Your eyes widened. "A demi-what now??"

"You know what I mean, you've studied about Greek mythology." He says to you. "You're not–" "My dad's Poseidon."

Your hands slipped out of his as you stand up. "You're insane." You state. "Y/n." He tried but you stepped back. 

"No. You're here trying to tell me that you've been going to this weird camp, fighting monsters, stopping and fighting in wars, talking to animals and gods, flying on a flying boat and a machine dragon for the past 6 years and you think I'm gonna believe you??" You spat at him.

Percy felt his heart ache. "You don't.. you don't believe me?" 

"Of course I don't believe you. Do you know how crazy all that sounds? You expect me to believe that you're a god, named after some other half god, you have water powers, can breath underwater and talk to horses and sea animals?" Yes, it absolutely sounded insane.

The boy gulped. "I can–I can prove it to you." He turned to the glass of water that stood at his nightstand, and before you knew it, the water was flying around. This isn't real..

"I–No. No. I must be dreaming. This is, this is fake right?"

"Trust me, I wish it was, I do. But it's not Y/n. My father is Poseidon, I am a demigod, I've been trough wars, I have been in hell. Literally. I've seen so many bad things, and the only thing keeping me tied together is you. I lost so many friends. Bianca, Zoë, Lee, Castor, Micheal, Luke, Silena, Beckendorf, Ethan when he finally chose the right side, Jason, Festus, Leo.. Leo was the only one who came back, thank the gods for that, but I lost everyone else. I can't lose you too!"

You just stood there, listening to everything he's been trough, and it probably wasn't even half of it. Never have you ever seen him like this before. But it hurt It really did.

Without saying anything, you stepped forward and pulled him inot you. A warm hug, hand on the back of his head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I believe you, I do. You don't deserve all that Percy. You don't.."

Percy never realized just how much he needed this until he found himself holding you so, so tightly. "I don't wanna lose you too." He repeated.

"You won't, you won't. I'm not going anywhere." You soothe him. "It's just you and me, okay? No one's gonna take that away."

And in that moment, Percy believed you.

Cause right now you were all he needed.

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"ARE YOU SURE, DOLL?"

I WROTE A NEW FIC WITH BUCKY because I (need him sm it's not even funny anymore) love him (he's my boyfriend, only he doesn't know it yet lol)

I hope you like it! 😊🖤☝

WARNING: EXPLICIT SMUT UNDER THE CUT

You'd been in love with Bucky for quite some time.

Everyone in the tower knew it, except Steve, whom you hadn't wanted to tell due to his closeness to the man with the metal arm.

That day, the tower was empty because, according to Tony, they had an important mission to complete, and someone had to stay behind to make sure they didn't have any unexpected company, so he left you alone in charge.

Or so you thought. You entered the living room and headed to the bar there to grab a bottle of water when you felt a strong presence in the room.

Your powers weren't too extraordinary, as you basically just had heightened senses, but when you smelled a strong scent of leather and metal, you knew Tony had lied to you.

You turned to see Bucky sitting on the couch in a relaxed posture. His gaze firmly focused on yours before he nodded politely.

You internally cursed the billionaire, as this was clearly a setup to get you and the super soldier alone. He could have left you with Vision, but instead, there he was.

"Bucky," you murmured when you found your voice. "What are you doing here?"

"The Tin Man asked me to look after you." He raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing at all," you replied, taking a swig from the bottle in your hand.

"You're lying," he whispered, causing your eyes to widen.

"Excuse me?"

"It's a lie," he repeated. "That nothing's wrong with you," he clarified. "I know you, and I know when your mind is calm and when it isn't, and right now it isn't," he decreed, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. "Why don't you tell me what's going on in that little head of yours, Princess?"

His voice grew hoarse at the name, making you shudder from head to toe. Before you had time to think about what you were doing, you found yourself walking over to him and sitting where he'd told you to.

"That's it," he praised, flashing a lopsided smile. "Good girl," he whispered, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Go ahead," he encouraged. "I'm all ears."

"Maybe…" you began. "Leave it alone. It's stupid. I don't know why I'm even telling you this…"

"Hey," he said. "Nothing you do will ever seem stupid to me or anything," he whispered, making you give a grateful smile.

"I beat a boss in a video game I'd been trying to kill for two weeks." You shrugged. "See how stupid that was?"

"I don't think so," the sergeant replied, looking at you closely. "I know how hard it is for you to play those kinds of games." He smiled. "I'm very proud of you."

"That's… very thoughtful of you," you murmured shyly. "Thank you, Buck."

"My God, you're adorable. You know that?" He laughed, his gaze shifting from your eyes to your lips.

You felt your breath catch in your throat. Was this really happening? Was Bucky Barnes shamelessly flirting with you? You didn't think you'd live to experience it, but there you were, trying to maintain your composure.

"No one's ever said that to me before," you confessed. He frowned in surprise.

"Really?" "He inquired. You shook your head. "Then they need to get their eyesight checked, honey, because I don't know how someone like you hasn't heard that before," he whispered. "I'm glad to see you talking to me like this," he confessed, making your heart skip a beat in your chest.

"That's because you make me feel safe, Buck," you murmured. "I don't usually open up like this to anyone."

He gently placed his hand on your hip, making slow circles on your skin, making you part your lips at his touch.

"You feel safe with me because you are, doll," he whispered, licking his lips. "I'll protect you from everything and everyone." He placed a kiss on your neck, stealing your breath.

His kisses traveled from your collarbone and back to your neck, stealing several sighs from you in the process that made him smile.

"You're so perfect," he murmured against your skin.

"You're making me blush," you said, feeling your cheeks heat up.

He kissed your throat, making you shiver, a husky laugh escaping his lips.

"I should keep kissing you like this then, doll," he whispered. "I love it when you blush for me."

Your cheeks automatically turned redder than they already were, proving the soldier's point.

"Buck…" you gasped, feeling his long fingers slip under your shirt to cup your hips with his hands.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, pulling away from you for a moment. His blue eyes scrutinized your face, as if he could see the problem reflected in your gaze just by doing so.

"I… I have to tell you something," you said, swallowing nervously. He watched you intently, silently, without pushing you. You nodded, encouraging yourself before saying, "I'm in love with you," you confessed, he held your gaze gently.

"Is that what you really wanted to tell me before?" he asked slowly. You nodded.

"I'm in love with you too," he confessed, making your eyes widen. "It wasn't difficult for it to happen," he explained, looking at you intensely. "You're so…" he paused, thinking of the right word. "Unique," he said finally. "You're like a breath of fresh air," he continued. "You make the bad days good days and the good days even better. You're… the pillar on which my being rests. I…" He held your face in his hands lovingly. "I couldn't live without you," he whispered. "I'd rather die than live in a world without you."

"Oh, Buck," you murmured, feeling tears threatening to run down your cheeks. "Do you really feel that way about me?"

"I would never lie to you, doll." He smiled, placing a kiss on your forehead. "Can I ask you a question?" He said. You nodded. "Yes." "Can I kiss you?"

"You can," you answered quickly. "But first, I have to tell you something." You lowered your head for a moment before looking into his eyes. "I… I've never done this with anyone."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Have you never been kissed?" He asked. You shook your head, noticing how you blushed again.

"No. Is that a problem?" "You blurted out hastily. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Honestly, I should just shut up…"

"Hey, hey baby, look at me," he whispered before taking your chin in his hand, both gently and possessively. "Relax, it's okay, and of course it's not a problem," he explained. "It's just… you're beautiful," he murmured. "So I'm surprised no one's ever kissed you."

He traced the curve of your face with his index finger.

"But now that I know you haven't been kissed, I'm tempted to keep you all to myself."

"Go ahead then," you murmured, bursting into a burst of courage you wouldn't have had at other times. "I trust you."

He stares at you for a few seconds before a small, soft smile spreads across his face.

"Are you sure, doll?"

"I am."

He stares at you for a few seconds, his expression soft and almost intimate as he strokes your chin with his thumb before speaking again.

"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you," he insisted. "I want you to be comfortable."

"I trust you, and I know you would never hurt me or force me to do anything I didn't want to do."

His smile widens at your words, his fingers slipping further under your shirt and rubbing small circles beneath your breasts, stealing a gasp from you as you feel the cold metal against your warm skin.

"Of course I wouldn't hurt you," he leaned closer to your ear to whisper, "because I'd be too busy pleasing you."

"That's a great pickup line," you commented, trying to focus your attention on something other than his damn long, masculine, perfect fingers massaging your skin.

"It's the truth, baby," he whispered, placing a kiss on your chin before staring at you.

"I know," you said, making him smile.

"Don't worry, I'm sure I can think of better ones."

"Oh yeah?" you challenged him. He gave an amused smile.

"I can definitely think of other ways to impress you."

"Like what?"

He shifted slightly, getting a little closer to you, so that your lips were practically touching as you spoke. You inhaled sharply at having him so close, since something like this had only happened in your wildest dreams.

"I could provoke you…" he kissed your neck, "to take my time with you…" another kiss, this time on the corner of your lips, "to drive you crazy with my words."

"I believe you," you managed to say between gasps.

"Then let me give you a little taste of what I could do to you," he whispered in your ear.

Suddenly, he lifted you by the hips and sat you on his lap quickly, as if you were as light as a feather, causing you to straddle him.

You felt the muscles of your strong legs beneath you, readjusting so that he was aligned with you.

He gently gripped your thighs to keep you there, while he looked at you intently, his eyes never leaving your face.

"That was unexpected," you said, making him laugh.

"Unexpected, huh?" he inquired. "Honey, we're just getting started."

He shifted slightly against you, causing you to feel him through your clothes in your most sensitive area. You'd never experienced anything like it, but almost instinctively, your hips met his, moving against him.

"That… feels good."

"Doesn't it? Do you like sitting on my lap, baby?"

"You know I do," you whispered.

He placed his hands under your knees and leaned you closer to him, so that your lips were dangerously close.

"I know," he confessed. "I just wanted to hear you say it."

"I like sitting on your lap." The soldier's smile widened, pleased with your answer.

"Is that true?" he inquired. "Do you like the way my hands feel on you, doll? Do you like these big hands touching you?"

"Especially the metal one," you blurted.

Due to the tension of the moment, when you realized what you'd said, your eyes widened and you focused on him, assessing his facial expression.

He raises an eyebrow, a small, amused gasp escaping his lips, accompanied by a lopsided smile.

"You like the metal hand, huh?" he probed; you nodded.

"Yes."

"Why?" he asked out of curiosity. "Do you like the way it feels against your skin when I touch you?"

He moves his metallic hand up to cup your cheek; his slightly cold touch makes you shiver, and he feels it as if he were the one who had done it.

"Buck…" you gasped. "Kiss me, please."

"Oh look at you," he mocked. "You poor thing. Do you want me to kiss you, doll? Is that what you want?"

"Please…" you sighed. "I need you."

Then he took your chin in his metallic hand, his lips gently brushing against yours.

The kiss was soft and delicate, yet dominant and firm at the same time. You moved against him, driven by the sensations you were experiencing at that moment.

You brought your hands to his shirt to pull it over his head. He let you, kissing you all the time, his lips covering yours with need. Then he wanted to do the same to you, and you stopped him by placing a hand on his.

"Wait, I…" you tilted your head. "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed…"

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, baby," he whispered, placing his hand on yours. "It's just you and me." He leaned down to place a loving kiss on your lips.

"Yeah," you nodded. "It's just that being in front of another person like this… it terrifies me, you know?"

"I understand," he whispered, cupping your face, "but you have nothing to be ashamed of," he murmured. "You look beautiful."

From then on, everything went downhill without stopping.

You shed each other's clothes in a matter of seconds, leaving you a moaning, panting mess a few more later.

Bucky showed you how much he loved you, not only with words but also with actions.

Your shaky legs were proof of that.

[drop-dead-dropout]

@plague-agent I DID IT I DID THE THING!!! sorry it took so long I literally ended up rewriting the whole thing and adding a semi-hopeful ending and it turned into a 2.2k words oneshot 😭😭😭 thanks for the motivation lol!!

ANYWAYS OVERLY ANGSTY KIMHARRY ONESHOT UNDER THE CUT SFHJFJNSYXGJVHB

edit: HELP I KEEP ADDING THINGS. KDJDHSNB WHATEVER IT'S MORE LIKE 2.5K WORDS NOW

"Really? Of all the things you could've put in there?"

You look up from your chocolate ice cream, into which you've decided to unceremoniously dump an entire bag of potato chips. "But I don't remember what I used to like with my ice cream! This could've been my favorite, for all I know!"

Kim wrinkles his nose in obvious disgust. "I seriously doubt that, detective," he mumbles, before raising a spoonful of tiramisu to his lips. He hums pleasantly at the taste. "I'm glad we came back here. This tiramisu has certainly redeemed that awful blueberry pie from last time."

"Hey, it's not the baker's fault he didn't account for your ridiculous sweet tooth! Honestly, Kim, shame on you, blaming an honest working-class business owner..." You shake your head sternly, as if telling off a misbehaved child.

DRAMA — You're a terrible actor, but it serves you well here. Kim finds it endearing.

COMPOSURE [Success] - Though his ears flush at the mention of his "sweet tooth"— an aspect of himself he finds silly and immature. He coughs awkwardly and goes back to his tiramisu, a bit too embarrassed to continue the conversation.

As you often do when silence lulls between the two of you for any stretch of time, you find yourself saying, "Hey. Hey, Kim. Tell me a secret, Kim."

He chuckles under his breath, shaking his head. "Honestly, I'd think you knew enough about me by now."

"Never! As long as there are still things left to know, I'm going to keep asking."

EMPATHY — He gives you an odd look when you say that. I shouldn't be surprised by his curiosity anymore, he thinks, or his sincerity, for that matter. But sometimes...

He clears his throat. "Yes, well. Sometimes, it's good to not know everything."

You gasp playfully. "Fuck you, that's, like, the most mysterious thing you could've said! Now I want to know even more!"

"That's too bad," Kim says, sipping demurely at a cup of hot chocolate. "Since I won't be telling you."

With a frustrated groan, you take a bite of your ice cream. "Oh, hey! It's actually not bad!" As you tear into your dessert, Kim merely rolls his eyes with an unmistakable fondness.

SUGGESTION — Psst, Harry, over here. You're always asking Kim for secrets, but you don't really seem to get anywhere. Why not just ask us?

I can do that?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Success] — Oh yes, Harry-boy. Give me a turn, I could tell you all about speedfreak Kitsuragi over here. Did you know he pierced his—

VOLITION [Success] — No no, nothing like that. Please, not when he's right there. I don't trust our ability to keep our face neutral. No offense, Composure.

COMPOSURE — None taken. Trust me, I know better than anyone, it's a shitshow in here.

LOGIC — You could ask another one of us, though. I'm sure there's some sort of reasonable compromise here, it doesn't have to be inappropriate sexual fantasies or nothing.

You take another bite of ice cream, trying your best not to look like a deranged lunatic staring off into space. Kim doesn't look too concerned, though— he's used to this, and he appreciates the moments of quiet, too. So what sort of things could you guys tell me? Which one of you should I pick?

SHIVERS [Success] — I could tell you about his life. I witnessed his childhood firsthand: summers and birthdays, mostly spent poor and alone. If you wanted, I could tell you things even he doesn't know— about the parents he never met, two young communard revolutionaries in love. I could tell you how they were killed, and who killed them, too.

SAVOIR FAIRE — Okay, that sounds like a huge bummer. Do me a favor and don't pick that one.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Success] — I could tell you about how he organizes his thoughts, lists and compartments and pages upon pages of notes, both in his notebook and, when it's not available, in his head. I've spent a lot of time pondering what it's like in there, and I think I've got an accurate guess.

INTERFACING — I like this one. It's not quite as interesting as ms. war-and-bloodshed's idea, but it's still good. Besides, learning how Kim approaches problem-solving might actually make us a better detective.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — I could tell you how he feels about you. As a partner, of course, anything more than that is beyond my area of expertise.

EMPATHY [Success?] — …

Woah, what's up with that?

EMPATHY [Failure] — I could tell you more. But... No, I'm sorry, I don't think I will. I can't be the one to show you the inner workings of his heart, I just can't, not when I know exactly how badly he wants to remain unseen. It would hurt too much.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — That's too bad. But hey, my offer's still on the table—

VOLITION [Success] — Behave.

1. — Turn to Kim. "The voices are currently offering to explain all your secrets to me, by the way. So there." (Do not say this???)

2. — [Shivers — Legendary] Tell me about Kim's life.

-1 Way too depressing to think about on some random Sunday

3. — [Visual Calculus — Legendary] Tell me about the way Kim thinks.

-> 4. — [Esprit De Corps — Legendary] Tell me about how Kim feels about me. As a partner.

+1 Professional rapport

+1 More than professional (you guys are pretty good friends by now, right?)

5. — [Empathy — Impossible] No, I want more than that. Tell me more.

-3 It's not happening, Harry. I won't do it.

6. — [Electrochemistry — Heroic] No, no, tell me more about this "speedfreak Kitsuragi" stuff.

-1 Volition is disappointed in you

+1 You really do want to know, though

7. — Actually, maybe I shouldn't do this. (Leave)

HALF-LIGHT [Success] — WAIT! Don't pick that one, please. It's dangerous. It's going to hurt.

REACTION SPEED — What? That one seems like one of the less dangerous options, actually. What are you freaking out for?

ENDURANCE — Ugh, don't listen to that thing. It's just a mangy little dog that jumps at its own shadow.

INLAND EMPIRE [Success] — The shadow is dark and cold, and it wraps itself around the one you love, its fingers coated in yellowish-white grains of sand, but it will turn him blue. You cannot save him.

RHETORIC — ... What are you even talking about? There's no sand here. We're in Central Jamrock, not Iilmara.

1. — This is getting weird. (Pick a different one.)

-> 2. — No, I'll stick with my first choice.

[CHECK SUCCESS]

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Oh, no... Harry, I'm so sorry. This was supposed to be the safe option. Just a quick peek into his psyche to see what he thinks of working with you. If I'd known it would be something like this, I never would've...

What, does he hate me or something?

EMPATHY [Success] — Don't say that. Please don't say that... You have no idea how much pain I'm in. You have no idea how wrong you are.

ESPRIT DE CORPS — When Pryce first assigned him as your partner, after a few weeks of begging, you heard Lieutenant Kitsuragi mumble something under his breath. You weren't paying attention at the time, too excited to care, but you did hear him, in the back of your mind:

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Success] — "I won't live through the death of another partner," he'd whispered to himself.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Success] — He'd briefly glanced back at you as he'd said it, almost nervous, his small smile tensing at the corners like he'd suddenly had to fake it.

LOGIC [Success] — He wasn't saying he didn't want to be your partner. Clearly he did, because he is.

EMPATHY [Success] — It was worse than that, so much worse... A promise to himself.

INLAND EMPIRE [Success] — He would only do it if you were gone. Ghosts can't save anyone.

INLAND EMPIRE — You cannot save him.

[-1 MORALE]

HALF-LIGHT — I told you it was going to hurt.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi is a practical man, more concerned with privacy and efficiency than anything else. He would never drive his beloved Kineema into a ravine, for example— instead, three bottles sit in a lonely box in his bathroom cabinet: cimetidine, metoclopramide, and sodium nitrite.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Success] — The first two are just over-the counter drugs. Their only purpose is to counteract the side effects of the latter.

PAIN THRESHOLD — A small comfort he would allow himself in death.

ESPRIT DE CORPS — None of them have not been opened since their purchase three years ago, but if ever he felt the need, he would not hesitate to do it.

EMPATHY [Success] — No. He would hesitate. Even if just for a minute, the weight of it all would be difficult for him to shake. Kim Kitsuragi is a man with an incredibly strong survival instinct; it's just how he's wired. In that moment, he would feel as though time itself was slowing down as he struggled to move through the thick miasma of dread and fear, like swimming upriver through the Esperance. But it would not be enough to stop him.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Success] — His extremities would be blue in minutes. He would be dead within hours, at most.

[-1 MORALE]

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Success] — You wonder, did his hands shake when he purchased these supplies? Did his eyes shine with the thin film of unshed tears when he packed them away in that cabinet? Did he even let himself cry?

COMPOSURE — Or was he as calm as ever, save for the slightest difference in the set of his jaw?

VOLITION — Does it even matter? Either way, he is not nearly as sane as you believe him to be.

ESPRIT DE CORPS — Don't feel too bad for not noticing. He prefers it that way.

EMPATHY [Success] — And do you want to know the worst part? He's happy. He really is, Harry. He loves being your partner and he loves being here, with you. This is just what happiness looks like to him. How it's always looked, since...

INTERFACING [Success] — He refuses to let himself be happy without an exit strategy. One foot out the door. A finger on the eject button. Just in case.

[-1 MORALE]

HALF-LIGHT — Whatever fancy thing you want to call it won't change the fact that he's in DANGER. We need to help him!

EMPATHY — No. You were never meant to see this. Any of this.

SUGGESTION — And besides, what exactly are you going to say? Accusing a random person of wanting to kill themselves, specifically of wanting to kill themselves in response to you dying— it would make you look like a delusional egomaniac at best.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Lieutenant Kitsuragi is NOT a random person! He's our partner. What even are we if we can't protect our own partner?!

HAND-EYE COORDINATION [Failure] — He asks himself the same question, every single night.

[!] [MORALE CRITICAL] [!]

EMPATHY — Stop it! Please, you're hurting me! I can't take this anymore—

INLAND EMPIRE [Failure] — YOU CANNOT SAVE HIM, HARRIER. YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM YOU CAN'T—

"Detective?" Kim is shaking your shoulder, looking a little worried. "Apologies. I usually don't interrupt you when you're..." Communing with the voices in your head, he doesn't say. "... But you started crying. Here, I have some magnesium— you can take it with your potato chip ice cream abomination." He smiles a little, and you know he's just trying to cheer you up.

SUGGESTION — And because you are a pathetically easy creature, it works on you.

[+1 MORALE]

Grinning back at him even as tears continue to well up in your eyes, you down the magnesium with a spoonful of your ice cream. The chips are soggy by now, and it tastes much worse than before, but the magnesium does its job.

Kim huffs a quiet laugh at the disgruntled look on your face. "That bad, huh? Well, I won't say 'I told you so'."

-> 1. — [Volition — Impossible] Stay calm.

2. — [Pain Threshold — Legendary] Punch yourself in the mouth. You won't be able to say anything if you're missing teeth.

[CHECK FAILURE]

VOLITION [Failure] — I'm sorry. It was never going to happen.

"Kim, y-you wouldn't—" Your fragile smile crumples like wet paper as a sob wrenches itself from your chest.

Immediately, Kim's eyes widen, and his hand tightens on your shoulder. Protective. "Harry," he says, softly, too softly, almost like it's not something you were meant to hear at all. Then: "We should get out of here. I was planning to let you stay at mine anyways. Hopefully my couch won't start calling you names, like last time— I was sure to give it a stern talking-to, you know," he adds, forcing levity into his voice.

EMPATHY [Success] — He cares about you so much. It's going to break you.

INLAND EMPIRE [Failure] — We can't save him. I'm sorry, we just can't, there's nothing we can—

HALF-LIGHT — nopleasenonononono—

VOLITION [Success] — You're wrong. Both of you are wrong. We're not helpless, and he's not hopeless. There is still time to fix this.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — Go with him. You know what you need to do.

"Of course," you croak out, wiping your face with a napkin. "Thank you, Kim."

—

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Success] — The next morning, long after his partner has left, Lieutenant Kitsuragi stumbles out of the shower and puts on his glasses. He opens the bathroom cabinet to look for his razor, so he can shave the patchy stubble under his chin— only to blink in surprise when he sees that a familiar box, tucked away in the back, is open and empty.

EMPATHY [Success] — He feels so many things at once that it's almost as if he feels nothing at all.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Success] — But it's not nothing, is it? It can't be nothing. If it was nothing, it wouldn't hurt this much. If it was nothing, there wouldn't be any hope.

EMPATHY [Success] — He allows himself to cry. Quiet and subdued, but even still, it's the first time he's cried in far too long. And it's awful and cathartic and miserable and furious and so, so afraid, but if you were to turn the lights off, you might see the tiniest spark in his lungs, the faint glow of something terrifying he can't quite smother. The ghost of his younger self pounding its fists against his ribcage, screaming as if begging for its life—

INLAND EMPIRE [Success] — LOVED LOVED WE ARE LOVED WE ARE WANTED WE ARE CARED FOR WE CAN BE SAFE AND HAPPY AND LOVED—

SHIVERS [Success] — Staring blankly at an empty cardboard box in his bathroom, a 44-year-old man lets himself cry openly for the first time in approximately two thousand, one hundred and ninety-six days. After all, he reasons, no one is there. No one can see the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes and sliding down his face.

EMPATHY [Success] — No one except you.