#I'm procrastinating an application lmao

[cockworkangels]

i hate hate hate hate applying for jobs

[bucxys]

.

[idyllic-affections]

general friendship headcanons (liyue).

summary. what is it like being friends with some of liyue's citizens?

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. baizhu & reader, beidou & reader, qiqi & reader, xiao & reader, zhongli & reader. 0.7k words. no pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. second part of the series!!!! i'm doing inazuma later because i don't know inazuma characters as well as i know liyue + mondstadt characters... basically i'm procrastinating LMAO i do write for ningguang and childe but i skipped out on them because (1) im burnt out but also want to post something (2) bc im not completely confident in my ability to write them yet rip

baizhu is the kind of friend who's always on top of your health—mental, physical, or otherwise. he'll always remind you to take breaks if you've been working on something for a long time. he'll remind you to eat if you're the kind of person who forgets to. he'll remind you to take any meds if you have them, and if you run out? don't worry, he'll refill your prescription for you (only after very thoroughly assesing you to make sure the medications you take are right for your body's needs, of course). he's honestly quite doting! very attentive to your needs overall. i also like to think he's keen on listening to you talk about your interests or hobbies. he listens and remembers.

beidou is the fun friend who'll take you on all her fun adventures, and if you can't accompany her for any reason, she's happy to relay her tales to you! she's got storytelling skills comparable to only the most famous, admired bards and poets from all across teyvat, even if she herself isn't really aware of it. she's the kind of friend who can take you on all kinds of fun adventures—whether those adventures be out on the wild sea or on sturdy land, she's your lady if you're looking for a bit of a thrill. she'll definitely keep you very safe, too. she's strong enough to protect both herself and you, so don't worry about running into trouble (which is definitely a bit inevitable if you accompany her around). she'll take care of it!

qiqi is the kind of friend who's like your clingy little sister. see, once she actually manages to remember your face and name, she will virtually never forget it. she has a little page dedicated to you and everything about you in her journal. qiqi never wants to forget you, so she does her best to remember! she'll follow you around like a lost duckling, cling to your sleeve, or lay her head comfortably on your shoulder if you're both willing and able to carry her. she also reminds you to take care of yourself... she has, without a doubt, picked up this habit from baizhu, but it's nonetheless very touching. she'll make little handmade gifts for you, maybe she'll pick flowers and give them to you. everything she does for you is soft and endearing. qiqi is very much like an attached baby sister, indeed.

xiao is the kind of friend who's always there for you... at least, physically, anyway. he doesn't have the words to comfort you very well and he can be a bit standoffish and quiet, but he will be there if you need him. getting close to xiao is no easy task, so if you manage to, he'll definitely hold you very dear to his heart and would never forgive himself if he were to let something happen to you. he'll always be there to fend off any danger that threatens your safety; all you have to do is call out for him. he'll be there. he swears it. he's the one you can sit in calm, safe silence with. there's no pressure to fill the quiet with small talk. xiao is someone who could simply enjoy your presence without needing all the conversation to go with it (but i totally think he'd listen if you talked).

zhongli is the kind of friend who's so willing and delighted to share his knowledge with you. if you want him to talk, he can, and can do so for as long as you're willing to listen, even if that is for hours. he could even talk you to sleep if you so desired (who wouldn't fall asleep listening to the soothing tones of his voice, really?). he's the one you could take with you to museums or libraries or ancient ruins if you're into that kind of thing—if he happens to recognize something while you're out and exploring some ruins, he'll offer to tell you about them! he's so poor at hiding the fact that he was morax, so honestly... yeah, he might never tell you directly, but surely you could figure it out on your own? regardless of if he tells you, if he doesn't... i doubt it would change anything.

[nishloves]

my rant

tw: talks about weight increase, low self-esteem, moderate anxiety, procrastinating tendencies. this is also extremely long.

i just really need to talk/vent about it.

the worst part about being a "casual" gamer is, you never know when you might get addicted with it. i play genshin and CoD, while cod doesn't interest me as much anymore and i only ever played genshin for like twice a month but recently- genshin has been taking over lol, i played 3 hours of genshin alone yesterday and mind you- i've already finished all the archon (main) quests and i'm still playing it!!! (this is called procrastination)

and this is not just limited to computer games no, i once was obsessed with aerobics gymnastics and was practising it all around my house (before corona struck and i physically became unable to do many tricks cue *decreasing flexibility/strength/stamina and everything after i got sick. after aerobics, my hyper-fixation was basketball and i would play it for around 2-3 hours everyday, my body slowly started getting better and my love for sports and gym was ignited again but then i entered into the senior year of my school and i had to inevitably focus more on my studies because i still can't see myself being an athlete/sportsperson even though i really love sports.

now, i was a science major in my high-school (my core were - phy, chem and bio) and i had always been a hardworker but i started getting burnt out, the more i strayed away from staying active and being fit, the more of couch potato i became. i somehow started studying nicely again, but got corona in sept.2022 and was on bedrest for two weeks, my schedule was a mess again. during that time, it were only my high-school extracurriculars (anchoring, debating, basketball, student council) which were keeping me happy along with a few friends (who in future became insecure of everything i was doing and shut me off by calling me "fake", that shit hurt.) and because i had missed 2 weeks of school and was already behind the syllabus by myself because of improper time management, so i developed anxiety- i only realised this after i had a mental breakdown in school for 2 minutes which i wasn't able to control instantly. (my anxiety is moderate and i don't need any medicines for it- i just need to keep my schedule productive and avoid procrastination.) i realised that i was quite behind and that i needed to do something so i did, i shut myself off and studied for 3 months without any outside exposure or anything- but that made me gain weight, from a 54kg 5'7 girl, i went on to a 68kg and because i got sick just immediately after, my weight increased to 70kgs. now, don't get me wrong- i love my body, i still like the way i look but, i don't feel healthy and i don't think you can understand how nerve-wrecking it is for a person who could run 5km without a worry pant after 500m. it was really... and i mean really heart-braking, more than my weight gain, it was my inability to do anything which made me more and more insecure about myself.

my anxiety, my newly acquired low self-esteem were adding fuel to my already procrastinating tendencies.

now. that is the main issues- i am a procrastinator, and for some reason i'm unable to fully get out of it and i get even more anxious when my days are going unproductive which they are!

i didn't score bad in my high-school finals, my scores of normal college entrance exams were good enough to fetch me into a top 3 college of our nation for b.sc but- i didn't want that. even though all my other exams went well, i seriously fucked up my medical entrance examination. i thought to take a drop year but im seriosuly scared because i don't think i did anything fruitful this year and i just feel like i wasted an year of my life and my main exams are in 4 months and im really really getting stressed out because the selection rate is only the top 1-2% among 2 million applicants, talk about competition lmao.

see, i am aware that i can do it, i don't know if it is arrogance or optimism but i know that if i really do give it all- my blood, sweat and tears and everything- i know that i'll do better, i will be able to score enough to get a medical college- but the thing is, i feel like i am scared to start and i don't want to be.

i want to- i need to work hard to better than my present-self, i need to work out to get my stamina, strength and flexibility back. and even if i fail- i atleast worked hard, i just don't want to regret anything which i am doing, i need to get out of this slump and i need to convince myself to get up and atleast try everyday. because i seriously seriously think that regret is probably the worst emotion you could feel and i don't want to spend my life regretting my decisions.

i just- had to get it off my chest lol. thankyou for reading this all.

i promise you, i'll be a great doctor one day and will clear this exam with every courage i am able to muster.

i guess... that is all? have a nice day and take care of yourself!

[indecisive-v]

i like lore lets talk vtuber lore lets talk about nijisanji en's new wave haha (this will be like 90% looking at the hold it down / let's get it started lyrics)

so iluna is some magical fantasy school right?? full name iluna institute of mystics

xsoleil is looking like something similar, xsoleil institue of infinity

maybe they're rival schools?

---☆

there's the debut songs now that hold it down is out (holy shitgsvhshf meloco's voice) with their contrasting themes

Let's Get It Started:

We only got love, we don't make any enemies

Laughin' having fun everyday makin' memories

So let's hop up on the stage, and let's show them what we came for, and harmonize to this melody, oh yeah

iluna seems chill and fun, like they're kinda just screwing around, making the most of their time here, and inviting the listeners to come enjoy themselves too

the instrumental of the song itself feels like a party or celebration of sorts!

HOLD IT DOWN:

My heart is bleeding from the pain that I put my own self through

There's no need for introductions or greetings, it's old news

I'll admit it, I'll admit it, it was kind of scary

I had to bury all my demons like the mortuary

xsoleil seems more tense, but like an anime character getting power blasted through three buildings and they wipe the blood off their cheek and go "hah... now it's getting good" kind of tense

it's also worth a note that all the xsoleil wave members seem to be part of their school's student council while iluna's members seem to be average students, because...

Hooked top of my class

Hidden gems among treasures

Accumulated these plaques

We wrote a million letters

...they seem to be hard workers (or they do until you see that one doppio tweet about forgetting homework or ver procrastinating lmao), and it feels like they're priding themselves on it in this song

---☆

another thing; both songs seem to value teamwork...

(insert every line about being friends and having each other it's like half the song)

Together the more we get done

Quicker the outcome the sum

but for iluna, it's more of a three-legged race flavor of teamwork...

Don't ever feel lost, we have each other so we're good

while for xsoleil, it's follow the leader

Don't you worry about a thing

Come follow our lead now

xsoleil seems to also have a little more emphasis on being able to do things yourself

I'm solo

Ain't no secrets now

Been on my own

there's also the "nice to meet you" vs "no need for introductions"...

[It's nice to meet you], my dear friend

There's no need for introductions or greetings, it's old news

and the song titles themselves! Getting it started vs holding it down

---☆

putting it all together, it makes me feel like iluna's this fantastical mystical school of destiny hidden away where the students who end up there are magically pulled there in some way to be able to apply if they so choose bc the school just likes their vibes, while xsoleil is this high-stakes school that takes like, a wild shit fuck ton of effort and letters and scholarships and failed applications to get into, and both institutes are prestigious in their own right

---☆

remember the sillies about kyo being an isekai protagonist?

-> kyo kaneko is the anime protagonist at the cute wholesome school iluna and xsoleil is the cool edgy intimidating rival school of badasses that he has to confront with his friends

except...

i think he already won

[altschmerzes]

How’re you doing balancing law school & writing? <3

honestly pretty good!! i have an insane quality where the busier i am the easier it actually is for me to balance my tasks and stay on top of all of them. something about the adhd sweet spot of 'i do not have TIME to procrastinate bc there literally just isn't space in my schedule for it' i think. i like juggling tasks, i like jumping between things, and there's this thing that's built into my schedule that's been helpful for BOTH of those things this term where twice a week i have class from 2:30-4:30 and then from 6:30-8:30/9:30 and that two hour break isn't long enough to go home so i'm just stuck in the law library with nothing to do that ISN'T either coursework or writing!

and like. weirdly enough, i am the most on top of my schoolwork so far this term than i've been.... ever in my law school history. it's still early so that has time to change for sure and it's a bit too little too late for my articling applications lmao but it's a good sign. feels good. i ordered a planner too that i love very much and has been a huge help. it's very fun, it has a lot of swears in it XD

[imanes]

hi imane! i hope ur doing well <3 i just wanted to ask: what do you do during times of uncertainty? im a uni student abt to go on placement and I've been applying for part-time jobs that's centred around my field but to no avail sadly :/ i wanted to save up at least so i wouldn't stress during placement and everything's so overwhelming.. there are other external factors that's making me feel this way too like a friendship break-up i had few months ago and its affected me quite badly but im starting to pick myself up again. anyways sorry for the rant and i hope ur day is lovely x

hey! just sat down after hours of procrastination to work on my dissertation and i wish i were done already akjdkfgj but it could be worse!! ok it's gonna be long and probs unhelpful but i know that you wanted to vent more than you thought i was holding some solution so I'll just ramble and hope something resonates with you lmao <3

for me uncertainty makes me feel like my life is in shambles, it's hard to cope with things going south and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but during my yearly flop era in march/april i had a talk with a friend who's much older, wiser, and more experimented, and basically it helped me put things into perspective and learn how to let go. there are only so many things that you can control so i split my different issues into different categories for a more systemic approach to my problems lol: things that i can actually somewhat control (my emotions, my reactions, my efforts, what i can do moving forward to alleviate some of my stress), things that are out of my control (how people misconstrue me, external stressors like shitty coworkers, refusals from jobs i was applying for) and things (and people) that i don't need in my life. learning to let go of things for me internationally infamous control freak was not easy but it was liberating, idk if you're religious so if you aren't the next part isn't going to be helpful lol but i don't think i should be chasing things because i am exactly where i am meant to be, and if i start clutching at the things that aren't meant to be in my life, it's just my ego getting in the way, and i prayed that Allah just lets me find the place that i would fit better in and that He'd take me away from it if i wasn't going to be doing or feeling good there. i guess the non-religious version would just be to trust the process and understand that things in life wax and wane, whether it be job opportunities or relationships. obviously there's like a plethora of other factors like what do i do if i can't pay the bills and stuff? that was how i was thinking just a couple of months ago when my dissertation was not writing itself and nobody was hiring me! but a few weeks have passed and looking back on it i was starting to chase things again and it made me feel like i was stuck in a rut when in fact it's normal for things to take some time to settle down and for opportunities to arrive.

so basically whether you stress about it or not, literally nothing is going to change except the way you frame it in your head. for me i just continued applying and gave interviews my all while also being detached enough to simply trust myself to find the space that i was meant to occupy eventually, and after many many many rejections i finally found something a week ago, but it took a couple of months of steady job application to get there. looking from the other side of the mirror it's easy to say things like "don't get discouraged!" but it is true that if you keep throwing shit at a wall something's going to eventually stick, hence the power of consistency and of never giving up.

i'm glad you're slowly building yourself back up after your friendship break-up, i know how much it can drag you down but again some people are meant to be with you for a season only and at the end of the day with the effect of time making things more bearable and by working on your self-esteem and knowing that you can do things that you set your mind to, whether it is finding a part-time job or picking yourself back up, in a few weeks you're gonna look back on where you were mentally at when you sent me this message and where you'll be then and you'll thing "well i guess things DO pass huh who would've thought!!" lol life is a cycle of stability and unsteadiness, doesn't matter how much you prepare something's always going to go sideways but another truth is that things fall back into place again and you have to have faith in that, in yourself, and maybe in something else like i am w/ my relation to religion if u need extra help. speaking of help if you have a support system, confide in them and let them carry some of that weight for you!! you'd do the same for them so don't feel like you're a burden for needing help when you are facing instability. wishing you the best of luck and i really hope you find a good part-time job before your placement babe

[tkdunning]

(44)

Looked into artificial harmonics on the guitar. Main takeaway was the concept of using the right hand as the harmonic hand. This might make it easier since I'll be able to use stronger harmonic positions to make them ring out more - right now I'm using a fifth(?), which is inherently more difficult to sound.

The expansion or continuation of this is pinch harmonics. I'll have to try this out before being convinced of it's consistency in direct application to G.O.A.T.; I think this may be a different technique - should try and see how Tim Henson actually does it via video or something.

The best source of this was a soundcheck the band did of the song. It's kind of annoying every single video pans away to the bassist during this section because of the bass solo lmao. It looks like one or both of the guitarists are using pinch harmonics - right hand is solidly over the pickups, left hand seems to only be making contact with one finger at a time.

Started with scales into improv. Beginning to link modes together into one structure and improvising to solidify the connection.

Turns out the artificial harmonic section in G.O.A.T. is best done as a pinch harmonic - not sure why it wasn't notated like this. A little bit tricky to get consistent but honestly more reliable than before. Plus, I don't have to switch to the bridge pickup anymore. The best place for the pinch harmonic tone here (esp. to match the song) seems to be to pick around where the 25th fret would be - just barely on the fretboard.

Rest of the song seems pretty solid and consistent at 60bpm. Can push to 65bpm soon - probably later today.

65bpm is now doable for the whole song. I should float at this tempo for a day or so to get things cleaner and then push speed again afterwards.

The pinch harmonic method is much easier and cleaner than whatever the hell I was doing before with pure artificial harmonics. I think the biggest cue here is to pinch harmonic with the pick at approximately 13.5 frets above the root note (9 at 22nd fret, 11 at 24th, and 12 at the "25th"). The other tricky thing is getting the pick into position so that the thumb can easily make the harmonic. I tend to hold the pick a bit further back in general usage so making that adjustment on the fly will take a bit of getting used to. Alternatively I could use some Jazz III picks lol.

Good progress today. ---

Even though I have been consistent in practicing in the morning lately, I think that I could do an even better job. Since I try to time my routine so that I'm leaving the house around 11:30 or so, I need to be a lot stricter with how I utilize my early morning time. Most days I just get an hour of practice in, but honestly I should be aiming for 2 hours of practice in the morning while my brain is fresh and attentive.

Nowadays 1 hour doesn't feel like nearly enough for what I'm trying to do, even if that is the norm/ideal amount by other people's standards. This early morning focus is especially important because after a certain time in the day my hand-eye coordination and my brain just can't keep up with intense playing/practice; It just feels incredibly inefficient and wasteful of effort. Later in the day, after I've eaten giant meals and am physically/mentally tired is when I can procrastinate and stall. I should maybe try and plan it so that the end of my days are more fun and relaxing in order to have something to work towards/look forwards to.

[dex-starr]

So talking about this issue with my therapist and some friends

has not helped for shit lmao. Long story short my relationship fell apart for these reasons: things I did made my ex feel unwanted and unattractive -- even though I was trying to do what she needed me to do in terms of words of affirmation as much as possible. But it was mostly for her appearance and I can only say so much I'm timid sometimes (understatement). The other thing here is I did a very stupid thing too in terms of just what I liked on twitter mindlessly (turns out ADHD scrolling is a fucking huge thing for me) but it was a soft spot for her because she was always sending me posts from subreddits about bad boyfriends and their social media browsing habits especially secretive ones that would try and cheat or like questionable things. Ultimately for that I decided the best thing for us was to apologize and to reassure her the most that I could that she was the one for me -- and completely delete twitter for the health of our relationship since I could just browse reddit since she moved onto there from here and that's how we met. The thing was I did this stupidly and it wasn't clicking in my head because she saw me just reblog whatever and my twitter wasn't hidden from her -- but it was definitely a different time in the shift of the cosplay culture and what not too. Still, that is completely my fault and I take responsibility for it but I know I changed and improved a lot and thought about it because really I care about this girl and I would do anything to make sure she's comfortable. I know why my social media habits are the way they are and it's something I'm working on for everything I pick up doing in terms of distracting my brain just to get dopamine going. It's difficult though and I wasn't diagnosed or even on meds -- I just had a suspicion at this point that hey you're depressed and maybe have adhd. Getting checked is probably a good idea but -- nah I'm scared of the stigma and scared of finding out I'm even worse off. (I am worse off).

The other factor is I was too socially inept in saying what I felt about her as often as it came across my mind. I did that at the start but some things that happened made me not want to run the risk of saying something that goes awry again -- this is something we should've talked more about because it wasn't that I didn't think she was the best thing ever. But I felt like I would be say something stupid and she would hate it for completely fucking illogical reasons. I mean we both flew across the country to see each other at this point. We were planning to move-in together cross country somehow. But my brain would always think the worst because before her I have always received that kind of treatment even if it stemmed from kindness -- it always was faked or changed once people got what they needed. Secondly, the main big thing is I just didn't want to do anything wrong for fear of losing her that I ended up doing things wrong. I should've talked more about how timid I was and that it wasn't because of her -- she was helping me not to be timid when it came to intimacy that was other than physical. Physically I just didn't know my own strength and my body was sick, but that's a different story. Now these are the two major reasons that I see but I know we had a lot of other issues that did come up like my procrastination on moving and doing my graduate school application to move (putting all my eggs in one basket). I couldn't answer why because I wanted to do these things, but I always felt like I couldn't throw the dice. I couldn't explain why because it wasn't how I felt for her, because I wanted to make extra hours in the day to spend with this girl even in silence. Turns out haha mental illness, thanks ADHD and depression. ADHD is way worse than I could've ever expected and I fucking studied Psychology. Literally have a fucking Bachelors in it.

I'm not saying our communication was bad because there were situations where our communication was fucking impeccable. We went through some tough times in four years. Times that we did not expect, I mean shit I almost got seriously injured like 3 times because of freak car accidents and I almost died because of COVID and my genetic illnesses and being immunocompromised without knowing but also asthmatic (I knew this one). The biggest thing she was here for was when my mom was sick with a kidney infection and in the ER for a few weeks since there was no room for her in the ICU yet. There was a risk she would've died if they did not catch what was wrong in time. That rocked me pretty bad, I don't wanna lose my mom. I lost my dad when I was 18 and we weren't as close as me and my mom are. My mom has always had my back even when I've been wrong, sure she scolded me after and taught me right, but she's always protected me. There were two things I wanted to do before moving, one was help her with a court case that kept her from driving and being able to do simple tasks and the other was I just wanted to make sure she was okay health wise before I moved. I had already planted the seeds of "hey I'm moving in with L**** once I got things figured out we've been talking about it a lot and making plans for it". Of course my mom was gonna be overprotective a bit because of this because I mean, I'm moving cross country. Hardly anyone in my family has done that, I'd be one of the first. But secondly, she always relies on me to be there when my family isn't because she's the black sheep out of her brother and even me to her parents. They just find it easier to think the worst of her for some reason. So I wanted to make sure she's okay because she's supported me in all my ups and my many, many downs. It's just the type of person I was raised to be and I thought my ex understood that if I just left without doing this that I would start hating myself and being resentful of things. But also that if she did ask for help and if it was in our budget and did not make things harder for our household that I would help her financially. She's helped me financially for a lot that I'm grateful for.

Now this combined with the sentiment that my ex was feeling makes me feel like both choices weren't a wrong choice. I wanted to be there for her, I fucked up by not communicating another date I would be there since I unfortunately had to miss her birthday because my dog got sick. Me being a social idiot (thanks ADHD) was thinking that she didn't want me to visit anymore because she was so mad at me. She did want to see me, but she gave me the ultimatum of moving there in two weeks instead of a long visit or that was it. I didn't like this, it hurt me because I would be patient but I understood why she was doing this. Distance is the hardest fucking thing a lot of the time, it makes you miserable -- but for her I would always wait I would tell myself. So I thought the same would apply to me. It was around this time I finally got checked for my physical symptoms because hey fucking healthcare and insurance sucks having to wait four months for a physical even though you've described your symptoms and they're pretty fucking bad or go to a packed urgent care facility because this is at the height of the pandemic and well see what happens. Anyway, rant over -- I got checked and I had a thousand and one things wrong with me but basically I was always at risk of inducing a coma because my genetics and habits caught up to me and I was in constant flight or fight because my circulation and eating habits were also pretty lackluster. I wasn't drinking enough water, getting the right vitamins too. It's a miracle I survived. But it does explain the couple of times I hung out with my ex all day in person and we didn't really eat much until later in the day and I would just collapse. That happened once here in California and once after my flight to Michigan, the latter time I thought it was just me being tired from a 5 hour flight super early. Like I know my health sounded like an excuse to her because she just wanted me to choose her or feel like I'm choosing her above everything, and really she (fuck... I was saying this in the present tense....) was above everything for me. She made me happy. The happiest I have ever fucking been, I loved her flaws and I loved all the great things she had. People say there's no such thing as perfect but I thought she was the closest damn thing. Anyway, I fucked up because I couldn't prove this with my actions at the time for various things I have been dealing with in therapy but if I'm asked the question.

If I'm asked the question on whether or not I made the right choice?

I really can't say. I helped my mom, she's getting healthier but still has major health problems. My dog isn't sick anymore he's just epileptic. More importantly I'm not doing as bad physically -- mentally that's debatable but I have my moments that are good. But I'm unfulfilled now -- that's where I start to think I made the wrong choice. I think about if I moved and chose to be with her. Maybe I'd be healthier but I know that within that time frame my mom has had one major surgery for her vision because she could've gone blind and a second one coming up in about a month. She has an extremely bad back and cannot move around that much anymore, the gel in between two spinal columns is completely gone and she might have something worse that I'm taking her to her appointments for. Both of which might require surgery but that's a maybe option since she is a diabetic. I think I would hate myself so much more than I do for not being there for these things. But god I hate myself for letting my ex down too. I don't know what choice I could've done because both of these people matter to me a lot. Obviously for different reasons, but fuck man I can't answer this after a year going on two eventually of being apart.

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Yo should I make a gifset from L'Idiot 1946?

[thewoolyworm]

Literally having to fight my registrar's office tooth and nail to convince them that I have all my fucking credits so I can fucking graduate.

Yes. Trust an outdated computer program over the course list (which isn't even a year old btw) literally written by the dean himself. Very cool

[kuro-von-shitsuji]

This isn't really a theory so much as it is speculation but-

Sebastian and Undertaker have gone head to head twice so far and Sebastian has lost both times. If Yana Toboso follows the rule of three (which she kind of already does in individual arcs) next time Sebastian and Undertaker fight Sebastian will win.

I don't know whether Undertaker will die or not. The only conceivable way I can see him surviving is if, for whatever reason, he teams up with o!Ciel or if he kills Sebastian (although tbh when if Sebastian dies I imagine it will be a lot more dramatic than by Undertaker's hand). Either way, if Undertaker shows up in this arc I imagine the plot will progress significantly.

[spockandawe]

hot take, unsupported by any research, education, or standing to make substantive assertions about a field:

second person pov doesn't involve any more inherent suspension of disbelief than first person. people only think that because it's less familiar to them.

for even more baseless speculation that i have no interest in trying to support, second person is only in that less-familiar position because it didn't get grandfathered into the Literary World by means of memoirs, faux-epistolary novels, and so on. i would wager that plenty of people use 'you' to self-describe their own actions in conversation the way they'll use 'they' as a third-person singular pronoun without realizing it. the tenses and scenarios may differ, but if you're describing a hypothetical to a friend, say

'and then I thought about going to a store to buy one, but then maybe it's like, you're looking for it on the shelves, and it's not there, and you're wondering if maybe it's out of stock, but maybe the store layout is weird, and maybe you go find an employee to ask, but what if they just look at you like you're the stupidest idiot they've ever seen, so i psyched myself out of the whole thing--'

even if you're a person with anxiety, speaking to a person who's never had an anxiety disorder, they won't get confused because wait wait wait, *I* would never react like that!

personal speech patterns vary, regional speech patterns vary, tastes vary, etc etc etc, it's impossible for me, an engineer procrastinating on work emails, to make universally applicable assertions about a complicated messy hell language i've never studied. but second person has a good mouthfeel in my hands, and it's understandable but silly to me when i see people musing at length over this particular literary mechanic (like i'm doing now, lmao), and i think a lot of people could get over this hangup, which looks so arbitrary to me from the inside, if they just sat down and read enough second person writing to get used to it

[mowisha]

Project # 1: Portfolio Site and Blogsite Theme

Stage 1: Illustrations (09-30-21)

here's a quick timelapse. my photoshop actually failed multiple times when I was doing this vector but eh, everything worked out in the end. I know that I should've Adobe Illustrator and saved it as SVG, but I don't have the application and I'm not familiar with AI that much huhu. PNG will do for now.

Stage 2: Prototype and Layout Design (09-30-21)

Creating the UI Design on Figma. I've been loving the color green lately so I decided to use it as the primary color for my site! Made the prototype for mobile and tablet viewing as well, including dark mode (which i won't be doing btw)

Stage 3: CODING -- HTML (10-04-21)

Got distracted for the next 4 days (smh!) But I started coding the site today. Looking pretty good

Stage 4.0: CSS and Responsiveness -- Header Section (10-05-21)

I implemented using SASS for this site for the first time ever and it made coding the CSS sososososo much easier!

I spent a lot of time making sure that everything looks nice in every size of the screen! Making the page responsive was what took me a lot of time to finish this section because this will be the first time that I was gonna make a responsive website. Turned out okay, I'm kinda proud of it! 💕

Also, ended up using Haikei for the back wavy SVG background. I liked this one better :) Also learned that there was something called aspect-ratio, took me a lot of time to understand this because I didn't search about it lmao. Trial and error for the sizing!

Stage 4.1: Portfolio Section (10-06-21)

I forgot to record the trouble I had with aligning the contents in the 'portfolio' section but I spent a lot of time trying to align them every time I resize the screen. Turns out, I just had to add one line of code haha. You learn something new every day

Ended up not following the prototype for this section. The original plan was for a box to appear every time I hover the image but realized that how will that work on mobile? So I ended up following this tutorial instead!

Stage 4.2: About and Toolbox Section (10-06-21) (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Spent HOURS trying to get this right, I even made a box model to follow but none of it worked lmao. I ended up putting everything on the trash and went to sleep hahaha

(10-07-21) ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ) -- Ended up using this code from StackOverflow hahaha.

Stage 4.4: Contact and Footer Section (10-12-21)

A/N: Okay I know, I slacked off for the past 5 days before continuing this project but I got a new dog, got vaccinated, enjoyed my last few days in this town, and I've planned what I was gonna do with my life this month since I'm moving back to Baguio in a week. Life has been uhhhh asdasdas. Oh and I've been watching mechanical keyboard vids for more hours than I really should instead of working my shit together. Anyway...

I also had a hard time aligning this huhu I'm really sorry for being a noob and being a slow coder but yep! Done! Although the contact form doesn't actually work lmao. Apparently, I need to have a backend but I'm too lazy for that huhu.

Stage 4.5: Darkmode (10-13-21)

Tried to do this but I had a hard time aligning the dark/day mode logo on the right and for it to appear whenever the size gets smaller. I know I gave up too soon but I just want this project to be over, it has taken me too long. I'll save this part for next time, I'm sorry.

So yeah, things to improve:

+ dark mode + contact form

Bonus Stage:

I actually made this the other day while I was procrastinating at coding hahaha. So I think I'll be working on this tomorrow so I can finally make this blog public to everyone.

Kind of the same layout, but still different? Ya feel me, fam? I will also be changing the logo and links to handwritten PNGs to make it feel more personal yknow

Update (06-30-22)

Update: Took a break for how many months, because I moved to a new city, adjusted, focused on work and making extra incomes, and doing my hobbies huhu but I'm back!

I did design a new website to add to my portfolio earlier this year on Figma but ended up halting it, too because I volunteered for 2 months to campaign for VP Leni for presidency. She ended up not winning and it did hurt a lot but at least I met a lot of new people and I'm proud to say that I stood my ground and fought for what I believe is right. It definitely was a time of my life. ANYWAY!!! Back to the website.

I actually started a few days ago, but I updated my Sass because apparently, the one that I was using hasnt been updated for 3 years now. Anyway, Sass stopped working and I had to use @use and @forward but I wasted a olot of time trying to fix it so I decided to stop using Sass and just transfer everything to regular CSS. My website worked again. Took me time to adjust with the syntax of CSS again, and I think I'll just stay and use pure CSS this time to avoid confusion and easy implementation between html, css, and javascript.

Goods news, again. I fixed the typewriting effect and dark/light mode!

Other than the contact form that's not really working, I'm basically done, I just need to add more to my portfolio site and I'll put this site on live and I'm gonna use tumblr to host it. :) Next project is to code this blogsite so I can link it on my portfolio and social media!

Stage 5: Coding the Blogsite (July 4-5, 2022)

OH MY GOD AAAAA. I know I've been putting this project on the side for almost a year now. I've wasted so many months because I just didn't have the motivation because I thought I couldn't do them but I get to finish them in a span of like 1-2 days. Why do I doubt myself so much, I have so much potential. Anyway, this blogsite is now live and I'm so happy about it. I'll make a separate post for it.

Next step is convert the codes for my portfolio site so it can be rendered by tumblr again, connect my other project designs to the portfolio corner and probably apply for a company and (HOPEFULLY???) finally get hired!!

I'm still contemplating whether to move to Mania for office word or just stick to WFH because I really don't wanna waste so much time on traffic in the city. I'm blabbering now. Goodbye hahaha

[ftm-radio]

okay, going in for New Social Security Card round 2!

for anybody new here, I applied for a corrected card (legal name change my beloved <3) like back in May??? and they approved it and supposedly sent out my card but I never received it & they never actually told me when I should've received it, so I waited too long & have to apply for a new replacement card 🥰🥰🥰🔪🔪🔪 (I'm actually still lowkey furious about it if you couldn't tell)

printed a new application today after several weeks' procrastination bc I was that pissed off <3 and next week imma make an appt to bring in my application and explain the issue in person, because half my required documents don't have my legal name because I never received my ss card to change it! (I want to scream 🥰🥰)

and then when I finally get this sorted out and hopefully actually receive a new ss card, I have to deal with getting a new ID 🥲 but that's a whole other issue I don't wanna think about right now lmao

[stardstgf]

I'm also bored and procrastinating so TELL ME:

- How's the new chapter of Forest Fire coming along? (is this too cruel of a question?)

- Are you excited to start uni?

- Rant about something you've been wanting to rant about but had no occasion to/nobody asked you

ily <3

hi omg<33 gonna just. answer these in order lmao okay!!

- it’s.this is a horrible question lmao okay the thing is anyone who’s spent any sort of time talking to me about writing knows i am. horrendous at finishing multi chapters. i mean. so bad, i am so bad at it. anyway!! forest fire is kind of happening slowly.. i’m almost 10k words into chapter 2 and it’s like. not even a third?? of what i want to write.... so yeah<3

- okay i’m honestly so nervous for a. number of reasons lmao but i’m super excited for the actual course so?? kind of somewhere in the middle😌💞

- so. this is not fandom related but over the last six months i’ve been working a lot + trying to organise myself for university and like. i’m so over the fact that they teach you nothing in school? i had to look up so many things i had zero idea about eg government loans, so it’s lucky it’s pretty clearly set out on the websites?? also universities don’t give you official deadlines for all those extra little accommodation + finance applications so. i have to sort it out and make sure i’m on deadlines so i can actually. pay for things also. the fact that loans here are so tightly tied to what ur parents earn bc they make the assumption that all parents are ready and willing to just hand over money to support idk it’s so??? anyway it’s just. a nightmare sometimes to organise like GIRL idk what i’m doing😌😌😌! okay done<3