#literally die. fuck you you musty bitch

[wastemanjohn]

fic masterlist

wincest and daddycest. follow the smell of dead doves under the cut :)

sam/dean:

when i'm down on your knees you're how i pray Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 13,703; Warnings: Incest

Summary: It’s not as if Sam doesn’t know what makes Dean tick, after all. He can’t have forgotten all the fantasies Dean has shared with him over the years, even the really nasty, violent ones that flushed Sam's cheeks a glaring scarlet, evoked awed responses like "Jesus, Dean, you’re really into stuff like that?" Dean didn't mind - quite liked watching Sam squirm, actually - and he'd long since accepted that he’d likely never get Sam on board with acting out the more grisly tales buried deep in his spank bank. But then again, Sam is different since he...

Dean still can’t use the words “Sam” and “died” together in the same sentence.

some unholy war

Rating: Explicit; 12,328 words; Warnings: Incest, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Somewhere between a bar fight and the end of the world, Sam and Dean learn to take care of each other again.

exit light

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 3,730; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Tonight doesn’t smooth over all the ways their lives are in ruins, hand back all that he and Dean have lost, atone for all the things it’s driven them to. It certainly doesn’t change the fact that one year from now, Dean is going to die. 

heart of a dog

Rating: Explicit, Word Count: 2k, Warnings: Incest, Sam is 17

Summary: They were supposed to be going to the fucking laundromat. But that was almost four hours ago, and Sam can smell the musty sweat wafting through from where their clothes are still festering in the trunk. He should really have learned by now not to trust Dean, when he insists on his little bar detours on the way - just a quick one, Sammy, don’t be such a little bitch. The thing is, the chances of it being a quick one are always about as slim as Sam’s patience right now; and a quick one always evolves into half the damn bar when a pretty young thing catches Dean’s eye.

Her name is Daisy. Dean’s probably forgotten that by now. He’s definitely forgotten about Sam. 

♡♡♡♡

john/dean and sam/dean:

what it is

Rating: Explicit; 48,258 words; Warnings: Non Con Elements, Incest, Canon Typical Violence

Summary: Everything that has ever gone wrong for Sam and Dean starts and ends with John.

i don't mean to suggest that i loved you the best

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1,930; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Dean’s need is a dark pit, a bleak, bottomless thing, and that’s the pull. That’s the lure, for John. People who need the way Dean does, people who want to crawl inside the ones they love and live there forever, they’re easy to control. They’ll do anything for you. John finds that fucking irresistible.

Sam hates his father. But he understands him perfectly.

with new bones in your closet

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4,890; Warnings: Incest, BDSM

Summary: It’s almost funny. It’s almost too predictable that Dean would do this for John, be this for John, take his submission to all too literal levels.

destructive love is all i am

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 604; Warnings: Incest

Summary: Things like this don't just go away.

love is

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2323; Warnings: Incest, Non Con

Summary: Love is all you are.

shimmer and rot

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3012, Warnings: Non Con, implied CSA

Summary: That witching hour loneliness can eat you alive.

snuff

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4552; Warnings: Incest, Homicidal thoughts, Sam is 17

Summary: There's nothing good on TV, and Sam's contemplating killing his father again.

the world was so easily won

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3153; Warnings: Dub Con Elements, Incest, Violence

Summary: The bites are about five days old now. They’re not healing well, skin-split punctures and raised pinks and purples. Any forming scabs have chafed raw all over again under Dean’s clothes. And Sam’s running his fingers over the worst ones, almost gentle, like a doctor examining an open wound. There’s nothing at all gentle about Sam’s rage-tight mouth though. Nor his mutter of, “I’ll fucking kill him.”

♡♡♡♡

johndean

toss me a breath when you hold me down

Rating: Explicit; 1624 words; Warnings: Incest, consensual non consent

Summary: It's never been quite like this.

and if you crave it then you know that you are injured

Explicit; 3593 words; Warnings: Non Con Elements and a very nasty John

Summary: He doesn’t even flinch when John’s hand comes down on his thigh. Doesn’t pull away when John flutters his lips over the nape of his boy’s neck and whispers, “Why don’t you let me take care of you?”

when i hear your lips make a sound

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2682; Warnings: Incest

Summary: It's a damn risky thing to do, with Bobby asleep upstairs. But Dean never disobeys his father, and he’s horny as all hell. It’s not a prime combination for sensible decision making.

i heard love is blind

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 12,764; Warnings: Incest; addition of John/OMC

Summary: There are a few shadowy figures on the sidewalk, the night’s offerings left on the shelf. They're all boys, their frames slight and their legality dubious. They look up at the sight of John’s headlights, but he keeps his head forward and carries on driving. He’s seen exactly what he’s looking for just up the street.

The boy is alone. He's a cookie cutter street whore, all mesh and tight pants. John can see the ghostly entrails of his breath, the skinny arms wrapped around his chest like chains. When John winds down his window, the kid steps forward in a tired, non-urgent sort of way. His lack of pretence is appealing.

John checks him over to make doubly sure that he's the right choice. He’s tall. His hipbones jut a little, distorting his tight pants, the waistband flapping over his barely there stomach. His hair is a few shades light of brown; it's short, but chunky and uneven, like he's cut it himself without a mirror. When John peers closer, he can see that the kid's lips are full and pink. That definitely helps. He's not to John's exact specifications, especially with his completely absent bulk, but he'll do. Beggars, choosers, all that noise.

and you learn how to settle for what you get

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3,163; Warnings: Dub Con, Incest

Summary: Yet John chooses this, over and over again. John loves Dean more than he loves anything.

sharp teeth, dry heat

Rating: Explicit; Words: 2504; Warnings: Incest, grief (addition of dean/ofc)

Summary: Your world was terrifying, and John knew how hard he was to love.

someone forever warm

Rating: Explicit; Words: 4290; Warnings: Incest

Summary: He takes a moment to enjoy the thought that John has slayed the monster, now he’s come to claim his prize.

trade

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 771; Warnings: Non Con Elements

Summary: You'll hide from mirrors until the marks fade away.

nowhere boy

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2528; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: The true meaning of Christmas is family, and all that crap. Everyone always forgets about Jesus. Probably a good thing, Dean thinks, as he adjusts the red ribbon around his neck with its dumb little bow and checks himself out one last time in the smudged bathroom mirror. Jesus definitely wouldn’t approve of what he’s about to do.

quiet room

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1878; Archive Warnings: Non Con, Incest, BDSM

Summary: This is what love looks like.

the dark is light enough

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3219; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: It's hard, with the lights on. Lights on, with his boy so close John can hear his pulse; see the freckles dusting the tops of his thighs, the strip of fine hair from his belly button down to his groin; pert pink nipples on a chest that blushes from the middle out when he's excited, all these intimate details John shouldn't know; but he sits with it, he breathes it in and he lives with it. The closeness; the vulnerability; like an exposed nerve.

Yeah, it's hard, hard to face this. Who they are, what they've become. But John isn't doing it to punish himself. He's doing this for Dean.

yesterday's hymn

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1323; Warnings: Non Con; past CSA: addition of original male character

Summary: A bad man doesn't pawn his soul so his son can live.

so many moving parts

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 7302; Archive Warnings: Incest

Summary: And sure, no one’s actually said the word anniversary, but they've never had a day like this before.

when the stiff wind blows

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8625; Warnings: Incest, BDSM

Summary: Dean is in tune with John's patterns and emotions, even some four states outside of their blast radius; and when John withdraws, Dean chases. Dean knows his absence, his distance, when John is not fucking handling it. And somewhere along the way - he learned how to help.

then leave me the bones

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 6816; Warnings: Heavy Angst, Incest, Dub Con

Summary: John’s moods are like a slow growing tumor. Easy to miss at first. Causing all kinds of problems when it's too late.

stutter

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 1655; Warnings: Incest

Summary: You know there is so much harm Dad could do in these moments, if he were so inclined. He as good as says it himself sometimes, with his quiet promises of I'd never hurt you, Dean, like a pre-emptive hail Mary for his sin.

♡♡♡♡

johndeanna:

now bleed for me

Rating: Explicit; Words: 3689; Warnings: Incest, Gunplay

Summary: John comes back unsteady, whisky on his tongue, scents of tobacco and cheap perfume clinging to the jacket Deanna loves to wear, because it’s so heavy and big on her, it smothers her like a hug. My dad, Deanna thinks, broken in all the same spots she is, yet so remote. My dad.

i've loved all i've needed, love

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 4602; Warnings: Incest

Summary: She never seemed to realize that her daddy's a piece of shit. John hates the way she found out.

this dream is for you (so pay the price)

Rating: Explicit; Words: 2,333; Warnings: Incest

Summary: So John comes to her, during that weird time that's not really morning or night, comes to her after they've finished half a bottle of Jack and a pack of Lucky Strike between them, comes to her with everything on his face that sits heavy and acidic in Deanna's heart.

all you wanna do

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 10,178; Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Summary: For the prompt: Deanna’s boyfriend gives her a red lingerie set for Christmas that she opens in front of John (optional: Sam). After OMC is sent home with a chastisement, John makes her show them off to him. Or, Deanna has started dating and John is a fucking creep about it.

a simple motion

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2353; Warnings: Incest

Summary: But watching her - watching her is different. Watching isn't touching, and there's no law against that.

i'll be your mirror

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2551; Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Summary: The girl in his bed isn’t quite his wife, but in the glowy relative darkness she has room to morph. 

one day like this

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 6182; Warnings: Incest, grief

Summary: Sam goes through his father's old photos.

♡♡♡♡

sam/john

coming up roses everywhere

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 14618; Warnings: Incest, Sam is 17

Summary: Where John wasn't planning to snoop around Sam's laptop, but his boy seems to be hiding something.

♡♡♡♡

john/dean and sam/john

don't say you need me when you leave and you leave again (samjohn only quietly implied)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8,224; Warnings: Non Con Elements; implied sexual abuse

Summary: Maybe Dad felt the kind of loneliness that ate away at your soul until you lost sight of the fact that you were even alive, maybe Dad needed to grab the nearest willing body and pull it close, close.

♡♡♡♡

dean/mary

this be the verse

Rating: Explicit; Word Count 6822; Warnings: Big Non Con warning for this one. Additional pairings: johndean

Summary: There are a lot of things that Dean doesn’t tell Mary about her husband. It’s best that John stays 27 in her head forever, like Hendrix or something, young and beautiful and fucked up in a pretty unremarkable way.

♡♡♡♡

dean/fem!Sam

when the earth moves again

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 1947; Warnings: Incest, somnophilia

Summary: It was something. Something that felt good; something that some part of him was willing to give her, even if it wasn't conscious, even if it wasn't much. And hell, Sam didn't have much in life that made her feel good.

♡♡♡♡

sam/fem!dean

hunky dory

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 4917; Warnings: Incest, pregnancy resulting from incest

Summary: Deanna went out this afternoon. For hours. Didn't say where she was going; but it's got to be the first time she's left Bobby's place in weeks. She left her phone behind on the nightstand, in this way that Sam couldn't help but suspect was intentional, because there had to be something about that; had to be something in the way Deanna caught Sam's eye through the window as she was coming back, all slow down the path with Dad's jacket over her shoulders and this tight expression on her face. Something in the way Deanna had sharply changed direction at the sight of Sam, veering off until she faded into the salvage yard and Sam couldn't see her anymore. And it's not that Sam meant to be hovering near the front of the house at the exact moment of her return like a worried parent, but shit happens.

Let her be, son, Bobby had said, without looking up from his scotch and that leatherbound demonology book he'd been annotating all day. Harder you push, the more she's gonna clam up.

It bothers Sam when Bobby talks like that, like he knows Deanna better than Sam does or something. As for letting her be - well, if Bobby knows Sam at all, he's got a strange way of showing it

♡♡♡♡

john/original male character

safe in the dark (how can you see?)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2492; Archive Warnings: Non Con Elements

Summary: Because maybe there was something about Dad's energy that fizzled with those weary neon lights; and Dad still didn't say much, and Sam still can't read the man's mind, but you don't live for eighteen years close enough to rub up against each others last nerve without learning how to spot when something might be wrong. And theres always something wrong with Dad - he's sour faced and miserable, the cause of that changes day by day - but he'd been so insistent. You don't leave this car, Sammy, okay? This guy's a loose cannon. I don't want him to see you.

Sam had snorted, and Dad had looked at him with resigned contempt; but it had faded quickly, and there'd been that something Sam couldn't put his finger on as Dad had got out of the car. Something about the way he didn't look to check Sam was obeying, something stilted in his footsteps. Something that made Sam log the path he took across the parking lot, register the room number he knocked on. The door had opened, and Dad had gone inside, but it had closed so quickly that Sam hadn't been able to see the guy. The loose cannon.

[thefourthwifeoftengenuzui]

Hiiii bonten Rindou hc???? Pleaseee. Love him frr

To be honest, I intended for this to be almost exclusively for haikyuu… BUT FOR YOU MY FRIEND! *pounds chest* I SHALL GIVE YOU THE RINNY OF YOUR DREAMS. Also you didn’t specify what kind you want so ima give you my finest shit, which happens to be my head cannon prowess. (Totally not because I hate writing dialogue, no,no, that’s so stupid 😳) Also important side note: I aint spend days finishing the Tok rev manga not to use it tf outta here. Tokrev and Jjk content is welcomed proudly.

idk if I’ll make a part 2, but on the off chance I do, look foreword to girldad Rinny content.

status: unedited

warnings: cursing, slightly sexual situations (but no smut), mafia bs, blood? Fluffy bullshit, Rindou being a dick hole, the ick, my bad Spanish

💜Bonten Rindou Hataini. Headcannons~💜

The first thing off the bat, I definitely think he is on the demisexual spectrum. I know everyone else be saying that he would be all about just sleeping around like that, but to be honest, I think that that’s more of a Ran thing. I feel like the only reason he would go to strip clubs and shit like that for work, and would actually be really grossed out when people would coddle him. If he was to have a significant other, it would have to be someone he has known for a long time, or from his old delinquent days. My best idea would be a calm friend who would give him the notes from his skipped classes. And in return he’d take them out for food or some shit. Somewhere along the way y’all would just be like, “we’re totally together right?” “Duh, why else would I put up with you.” Yeah he a lil bitch.

Any way, as for him as an adult, all I gotta say is “Mmmm Papí ¿quieres una besito?~”. Like Jesus Christ man has no right being this freaking fine. Sexy Jellyfish ass boy

Yakuza Daddy🥵. This man will spoil the everlasting shit outta you, and go to Walmart for his own shit. But had does it in the most obnoxious way possible. He gets you a necklace? “Hey babe, gotchu this, your old one was musty af, take better care of your shit.” Awww you want a new dress? “Sure babe, but just know that thing barely covers shit, and will be gone by the end of the night.” You want something just random? “Wtf am I a walking ATM? No, pick it tf up, I’m buying it, you can’t stop me. Quit arguing before I buy you 3 more.”

But when it comes to himself? Yeah he only indulges in suits and Jordan’s. Other than that, he has an avengers shirt he had since he was 12 and a pinball machine. That’s the extent of his possessions. Well that and the watch you got him for his birthday, but shhhhh he can’t let you know he cares ewwwww.

Man is literally the biggest (for lack of better word) Tsundere. Like Top three in anime. Like you got 1.Kageyama 2.Sasuke 3. Him. Like manz would rather die than say he cares. His love language is quality time and gift giving, so he’s more show you he loves you, but won’t say it first. The kinda mf that when you say I love you to them say, “Yeah I know, I love me too if only there was someone out there who loved you.” Like manz is so obvious I wanna kiss him to shut him the fuck up. (I think I have a type.) like bro the me love you tf?

In terms of icks there is one thing I no for fact. This mf wears socks to bed. And not the cute fluffy kind. The musty ass crusty socks he wore all day, then stepped in water, and now you gotta deal with it while yall cuddling. I hate this mf.

On a more serious note, because of his Bonten Bs, he doesn’t have a lot of time for us. So we make time. His time. We just barge in during his meetings, lay across his lap, watch TikTok’s, while everyone (him) are just looking like “is this bitch serious!?” >:|

Anyways, because he’s so busy all the time, the majority of what he wants to do when he gets home is just to sprawl out on the couch and just stay there. You can cuddle with him too or whatever he doesn’t mind🙄. But fair warning, he’s the kinda dude who is only ever in the mood for either ww2 documentary’s or like deep sea documentary’s. Like mf has the same movie taste as my dad, I can’t with him. It’s a good day when you can convince him to try something actually entertaining. And you know what he picks? The Fucking exorcist. He’s an asshole. The kinda dude to pretend he’s unfazed, but his left leg physically won’t stop shaking.

speaking of movies, I know I say this every time, but scream Halloween costumes. Yes. Give me Rinny as ghostface please, I’ll freaking sell my soul. Especially if it’s not the robe but one of the like dry fit and leather harness- *incomprehensible pterodactyl noises* 🥵

anyway back to cuddling, his go to position is literally the Hakari and Kirara thing. Like this mf will always have a hand on your ass. He doesn’t like PDA but this? Yeah you can’t stop him. He is an ass guy, it’s just where his hand naturally gravitates.

I cannot explain the urge to play daddies home by usher every time I see him. Like he and my baby daddy Gojo have partial custody over that song. Like bro. Yes.

Tbh I don’t see him having a big wedding. Or any wedding. I think his thing would be just handing you his debit card and saying “pick some shit out. No, don’t worry bout the price I’m rich for a reason.” And after that yall just elope to some tropical place across the planet for like a month.

speaking of travel it’s a pretty common thing for you. Just that it’s always last minute. Like bro don’t even give you time to brag to the your friends. Man just pulls up 10 minutes before y’all need to go to the airport and says, “get ready, we’re going to France. How long? Idk a month? Boo hoo bitch. Stay home then. Mhm that’s wtf k thought”. Manz is such an ass but you gotta love a walking wallet.

My last thought I’m gonna share is how he physically won’t use nicnames. Like babe is the physically most he can bring himself to do. Maybe baby. He gives himself the ick every time he thinks of doing anything else

all in all, he’s the one who is always there for you, and expects the same. He’s a great guy, under all the stress and yakuza bs. Treat him well, or I’ll treat him better😤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sorry this took me so long to write, I’m working on another request too, and more importantly, my final exams for collage, love that. But even do, if you liked this, please like and request something, and I will definitely be posting. Love y’all so much, I’ll see yall later.

[base0h]

One piece characters wearing heels

a/n - my brother decided to wear heels today for the first time, ended up in urgent care with a horrible broken ankle 💀💀💀

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader

- he is slaying it

- but his bigass stinky musty crusty dirty fucking feet don’t fit into any shoes

- his toes will break through heels 💀 and it’s a shit show because his toes REEK

- will do a model walk like the drama queen he is

- “Y/n see?! I can wear heels!”

- you are traumatized by his toes sticking out of the shoes, like no one should have to see that shit

- bro has some weird shit on there from the fact that they’re stuck in those boots all the time

- he sleeps with shoes on 💀

- “Ew Kidd- that’s gross…”

- “Fuck you y/n. I’m amazing in heels.”

- dying

- will fall every single step

- throws out his back 💀💀

- “Y/n why are they POINTY.”

- “MY TOES- OH MY TOES!”

- “MY ANKLE GODDAMIT!”

- benn is laughing his ass off in the corner as he struts with the heels perfectly, man is perfect in every way

- shanks is a DISASTER

- hair is disheveled as fuck, sweating like a pig, and he’s as shaky as a vibrator 💀

- “y/n these shoes are going to kill me- I’m only 40 please don’t let me die..”

- “ugh. Why did you even put them on in the first place?!”

- “BECAUSE YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL IN THEM SO I THOUGHT ID LOOK COOL TOO! And also yasopp dared me to…”

- you slapped the bitch and gave him positive affirmations that he was a cool old man💜

- ok but why is he lowkey good at wearing heels 🤨

- hmmm????

- man is training while in heels it’s amazing

- doing weightlifting with heels? Fuck yeah

- he will wear anything you give him 💀

- he literally could not care less, and it shows

- man’s a girl boss all the way through, Sanji WISHES he could slay like him 🤪

- “y/n these are uncomfortable, can I go barefoot?”

- “take a shower first then.”

- “Fine I’ll wear them jeez!”

- “SHOWERING IS NOT THAT BAD!”

- “YES IT IS!”

- “… is it because you get lost on the way-“

- “SHUT UP SHHHH NO DONT SAY ANYTHING!”

- the cheeky ass grin that spread across your face at that moment..

- oooooo… blackmail 😏

- he was forced to wear heels in his battle against mihawk and I swear mihawk was lowkey like: where did he get those? I would like a pair, perhaps perona would know, she seems to be very knowledgeable about fashion. 🤓

- you rn: 🤪✌️

a/n - I am so high right now 😂

[ohanny]

okay, i am starting bed friend and since watching alone makes me stressed you are once again exposed to my initial reactions:

i love how the first minute of this show is uea being all "i am just your average guy... except i am so hot everyone desires me and it makes my life so hard. sigh."

HELLO YIM IN YOUR BOWL CUT NERD MULLET YES YES YOU ARE MY BABY MY SUNSHINE MY ETERNAL LOVE PLS TAKE ME AWAY IN YOUR SPACESHIP

so mark is like fine fine in that grown ass man way. pls someone tell me he is a lead in a show because i need

also like... am i the only one who thinks james is the soft, godly lovechild of yim and nat?

how can you dislike king and his jawline of doom. wait. oh my god. are having enemies to lovers thrown in this too?!?!? are they gonna hit all my fave tropes?!?

oh boy. OH BOY. something happened that night for sure sure

no but as a low voices appreciator this theme song is tickling my ears in a good way

ooh not the shiny shoes. damn, you really don't like the man.

oh this does not sound good but the stubble but OH FUUUUUCK

i have known uea for literally 5 minutes and 16 seconds and i am ready to murder anyone who hurts him

oh no. trauma.

yeah no, murdering anyone who hurts him is not enough. i need to go full vegas in a torture poncho on their ass.

the fuckboy has got the feels already 11/10 look at that face

in the non-creepiest way possible: i need to put these child actors into my pocket and feed them cupcakes

okay so the mom belongs in the bin

oh bitch DON'T YOU DARE call him

give my boy all the fuzzy blankets to cover up his sadness

noooo when do these boys learn pulling someone's metaphorical pigtails as a method of flirting will never work

ksdjfkalsfjasdlfj james since when have you been this PRETTY

king: babe, what can i do to make you like me uea: die

pock rhymes with cock which is exactly what you have to be to mess with my baby. a musty, unwashed, diseased cock.

jade is such a sweet bean and also a mood at the end of the day

i love how their gc is called "domundi"

what in the workplace parking garage showdown is this. also mark, daddy, step on me. respectfully.

okay, free karaoke emergencies are my kind of emergencies.

why does no one want to ride with the boss? I VOLUNTEER AS A TRIBUTE

lol, poor jade being thrown under the bus

is it gay to be unable to go through a single interaction with your workplace nemesis without standing face to face, intensely staring at one another? asking for a friend

ohhh cock is calling. hang up. that's a good boy.

this karaoke makes me miss my early twenties. also noooo, my baby jade letting loose while uea is like "pls god someone save me. end my suffering. existence is pain."

jade: i am about to vomit everyone else: THE FUCK YOU ARE WEAKLING boss: also you still have to work lmfao

butt. hehet.

oh nooo he has a cute lil man purse on top of the confidence to wear white pants? damn.

oooh he is drunk. i can see where this is going and i have conflicting feelings about it :')

i do not have conflicting feelings about these collarbones though. they are very much fire.

piggyback rides T T

okay but do i have to move to thailand to afford these condos on a single income?

one day these bl boys will be this gentle and soft yet also capable of resisting the urge to ravish their drunk crushes

(un)holy spiderman o.o

*distressed noises*

oh if you left snow white in bed all alone i am going to kill you

okay yes that is some tongue

i do love a strategically placed mustard yellow pillow

ooooh, it was king who had to wake up alone. oh my sweet babies. why do i feel so bad for both of them?

seriously, that bathroom is custom made. how much do these average salary men make?

JADE IN THE ICONIC YELLOW CARDIGAN

jade: omg what is wrong bestie uea: *war flashbacks to cock* sleep deprivaton

the fact jade is always drinking boba is just so in character. not that we know much all about his character but the point still stands. he is a boba boy.

oh that "mom" needs the bin asap. and you can't add a "we need to talk" text to that, king, you and your jawline need to time things better.

oh no. shit is about to go down in the copy room.

i love the alleged king of one night stands not comprehending one night stand etiquette. boy is down bad.

king: seriously uea: i am avoiding avoiding the subject, that's how deep my avoidance goes

they are just so laskdfjasdklfjsadlkfjaslkjfoierjudfj

why do i feel uea almost running people down with his car is a character trait

ugh, my poor baby is in pain and i don't know how to help (T⌓T)

THIS CAT

[thewoolyworm]

Literally having to fight my registrar's office tooth and nail to convince them that I have all my fucking credits so I can fucking graduate.

Yes. Trust an outdated computer program over the course list (which isn't even a year old btw) literally written by the dean himself. Very cool

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By My Side (Part 2)

Summary: Jensen and the reader grow more tense with each other at the cabin but a revelation leads to a change in more than just location...

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 4,300ish

Warnings: language, mention of underage drinking/accidental death, angst

A/N: Enjoy!

_________

Twenty Hours Later

“Welcome home,” said Jensen, climbing out of his SUV the same time as you. You raised an eyebrow as you looked at the cabin in front of you. “You gonna carry your shit or what? Bodyguard, not your butler.”

“When you said cabin, I thought-”

“I told you. We’re off the grid. Most off the grid people don’t have quartz countertops and crown molding in their homes,” he said. “This is as good as I could get last second.”

“As long as it’s clean,” you said. He laughed and you stared back at him. “What?”

“Okay princess. There ain’t no cleaning service out here. You want something cleaned in there, you do it yourself,” he said. He slung a duffel bag over his shoulder and tossed one at you, nearly knocking you to the ground. “I’ll even let you pick which room you want.”

“Might take the kidnapping at this point,” you said, sighing as you followed him across the dirt yard. “We drove back in here for like an hour.”

“Hour and a half actually. Nobody’s finding us,” he said. He grabbed a key from under the rock by the door and undid the lock, swinging the door open wide. “Home sweet home.”

You followed him inside and cocked your head.

“Okay, this place is a lot nicer than I was expecting.”

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said, tossing a bag back towards a hall. You set your bag down on the kitchen table, narrowing your eyes at a picture on the wall. There was a little boy with a fishing pole and a pair of familiar green eyes staring back. 

“Is this your cabin?” you asked, nodding to the photo.

“It’s in the family. Dad let me have it when I got out of the service,” he said. “I needed some alone time to decompress a bit. It’s safe. Trust me.”

“You were a cute kid. Too bad you’re sort of an asshole now,” you said.

“You were an asshole first,” he said with a shrug.

“I’m not a fan of some stranger coming into my life and telling me how to live it,” you said.

“I’m not telling you how to live your life, Y/N. That’s not my job. Keeping you safe is,” he said. “There’s two bedrooms. We have to share a bathroom.”

“Alright,” you said, Jensen pushing open a few solid wood doors. One was furnished a bit plainly and had a queen size bed, the other a set of bunkbeds and a full bed shoved against the wall. 

“Take it,” he said, nodding towards the larger room.

“You’re bigger than me,” you said.

“Yeah, well that’s true but you’re also paying me. Take the bigger bed. The couch is a pullout anyways. Go on,” he said. You sighed and set your bag down on the bench, Jensen tossing his bag in the other room. “I need to go into town and finish getting supplies. Before I do that, we need to go over a few ground rules.”

“Of course we do,” you said, plopping back on the bed and watching a cloud of dust appear in the air.

“There’s a first aid kit in the cabinet over the fridge. There’s an emergency satellite phone there also that is to only be used in a real emergency. Washer and dryer we use once a week. There’s a solar panel on the back of the cabin that’ll help save us gas. We’re going to try and limit needing to use the generator more than we need to. There’s not much in the way of hot water. There’s a lake nearby and a few trails you can walk around but they’re probably overgrown at this point. Unless you’re in danger, never leave the premises. If you need something that’s not here or on the list, tell me now. I want to limit trips to town to once a month if possible.”

“Cleaning supplies,” you said as you sat up. “This place is dusty.”

“Alright. I’ll be back in about four hours,” he said, turning to leave. “There’s a shotgun in the gun safe. Key is in the nightstand drawer. Try to keep out of trouble.”

He didn’t look back as he left, the door opening and shutting, the sound of an engine turning on and slowly back away.

“Well. Might as well try to make this place more livable in the meantime.”

Four Hours Later

“Hey. I’m back,” said Jensen. You lifted your head up from the couch, Jensen flipping on the light switch. “You don’t have to sit in the dark.”

“You said to save the generator.”

“During the day. It’s after eight,” he said. He made a few trips in and out before he finally locked the door after himself. His nose twitched and he glanced over at you. “It doesn’t smell as musty in here.”

“A wet towel works when you don’t have a swiffer,” you said.

“I grabbed fast food,” he said, setting a bag down on the table. “Eat up. Last take out for a while.”

“I was thinking while you were gone,” you said, Jensen putting things away while you took out a burger and a box of fries.

“I bet that was difficult,” he mumbled.

“You know I’m not gonna stay here if you’re gonna be an ass.”

“I frankly don’t give two fucks. I’m here for money. You want to go do this job back home, that’s fine with me,” he said.

“Well fuck you,” you said. You got up and went outside, not getting too far from the cabin before it was pitch black. You stopped by the end of the truck, staring at the darkness you knew was the dirt trail that would eventually get you to the main road.

“Don’t be an idiot,” said Jensen as he stepped outside.

“Why do you care? I already paid you,” you said. “You know what? Why don’t you just go and leave me here by myself. That way you don’t have to hang out with the dumbass actress.”

“I never said you were a dumbass.”

“You literally said that thinking was difficult for me not two minutes ago. Maybe I don’t know every little thing about whatever the fuck badass shit you learned in murder school but I am not the helpless bimbo you think I am.”

“Do not trivialize taking a life. You have no idea what it does to you.”

“I know a thing or two. Don’t assume you know a thing about me.”

“I had a full background worked up on you. You never-”

“The summer I was a camp counselor? You remember reading about that in your little background check? Another counselor drowned at camp that year. I know a thing or two.”

“Drowning is not the same as-”

“You have no clue what I’m capable of.”

“What? You saying you did it?” he asked, crossing his arms at you. 

“It was an accident. It could have happened to any single one of us,” you said. “Don’t use that whiny little bitch excuse for being a hardass. People die and sometimes it’s your fault. It doesn’t give you a free for all to be an ass.”

“An accident isn’t the same thing,” he said. He walked over and narrowed his eyes. “Inside. Now.”

“No. I should have followed my first instinct and fired you,” you said. You spun back around, barely getting a step in as strong arms wrapped around you and lifted you off the ground. “Hey! Put me down!”

“You’re a freaking idiot,” he said as he carried your squirming self back inside. He set you down at the table, shoving your shoulder when you tried to get up. “Eat and go to bed.”

“I’m not-”

“Do you have any idea why I’m a hardass? Why that might be? If I give a shit about you, I can’t do my job because then I’m going to worry. I’m going to worry about how you’re feeling and I don’t have time for that. You had a scare, fine. I calmed you down. Out here, you have to suck it up and deal on your own. I will keep you safe but we’re not friends. We’re a boss and employee and that’s it. Eat your damn dinner and go to sleep.”

He grabbed the bag with the remainder of the food and went into the other bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

“Dick,” you said quietly. Ten minutes later you were changed into your pajamas and crawled under the blankets, staring out the dark window. “I just wanna go home.”

You didn’t speak when you made your way into the kitchen the next morning. Jensen was sat at the table with some rugged looking laptop and a cup of coffee. It probably worked off a satellite if you had to guess. You poured a cup from the pot for yourself before heading outside with it. You walked over to the dock on the small pond nearby, staring out at the calm water as you sipped on the warm liquid.

“You didn’t kill anyone you know,” you heard behind you. You didn’t turn but did hear one of the boards creak. “Being unable to save a guy who shouldn’t have been out there in the first place doesn’t make you a murderer.”

“I was on lifeguard duty that day,” you said.

“Yeah. That day. You weren’t at work when it happened. No body made that guy go underage drinking and swimming in the middle of the night. In a thunderstorm.”

“We were all drinking. No one was paying attention to the storm. It was the first and last time I’ve ever been drunk.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s,” he said.

“I know. You think I should get over it,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself in the cool air.

“I was going to say, it wasn’t your fault but I get feeling responsible for things that aren’t your responsibility.”

“I guess,” you said. “You find out who this person is yet?”

“No. I’m going to be spending most of my time working at that. Don’t go too far from the cabin, alright?” he said. He began to walk away and you turned your head, looking him up and down.

“I thought you didn’t want me going outside,” you said.

“Not alone at night, no. You can’t see your surroundings. During the day, stay within eye sight of the cabin and I think it’s acceptable for you to be on your own a bit.”

“Jensen,” you said. He turned and looked at you, waiting for you. “If I pay you more will you at least try to be a little nicer like you were just now?”

“Listen to what I say and I’ll be the nicest guy in the world,” he said, heading back to the cabin. “You want breakfast, make your own.”

“Good chat, Jensen,” you said, shaking your head at him. 

When you’d finished with your coffee you popped inside to put on some clothes better suited for outside. He gave you a quick glance before you slipped on some sneakers and had a hand on the door.

“Ah ah,” he said. The chair scratched against the floor and next thing you knew, he was right there, reaching into his back pocket. He held up a small little thing and pushed a button, flipping a blade out. “Switch blade. From now on, this doesn’t leave your side ever. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night and you’re taking a piss. It goes with you.”

“Keep it with me. Understood,” you said. He put it in your palm and nodded.

“Open it.” You flipped it open and stared at him. “Where would you use it?”

“Maybe I’ll stab the guy in the dick. How’s that sound?” you asked. He smiled a little and looked away.

“Not a bad choice. Vulnerable points if you have time to think. Aim low. Up here, rib cage will try to do its job. It may hurt but not incapacitate. Down low, you got better odds. All else fails, just try to stab something.”

“I got it,” you said, slipping it into your pocket. He took hold of your arm as you started to leave and you groaned. “What now?”

“The keys to the truck are under the rock by the corner of the house. The flat one. If you have to get out of here for some reason and I can’t take you, you take yourself and don’t think twice,” he said.

“I understand,” you said. 

“Well...enjoy your day,” he said. He dropped your arm and went back to his computer. You headed outside and started to explore before he could come up with even more rules for you to follow.

Four Hours Later

You were stood on the edge of the shore, trying to teach yourself to skip rocks on the water when you heard a rustling behind you. Your head shot back over your shoulder, Jensen wearing a strange smirk on his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“You’re not very good at that,” he said, picking up a flatter rock. “You need to flick your wrist more.”

“You know how to do everything, don’t you.”

“I spent more than a few summers here. Not a whole lot to do,” he said. “Got it all the way out to the catskills over there once.”

“You’re not worried about my lack of rock skipping skills,” you said. He shook his head and shot a rock out, getting a few skips off before he stood by your side. “I can take it. What’d you find out?”

“How often do you read in detail the contracts your manager gives you?” he asked.

“For my shows, word for word. Appearances, I skim sometimes. Why?”

“You sign anything with Boom stunt services lately?” he asked.

“I signed some insurance thing I think, so I could do a few stunts on the show,” you said. Jensen nodded and crossed his arms. “What?”

“Your manager lied to you. He thought you were getting stuck in a rut with your show, your wildly successful show, so he hired a stunt man, one you signed off on and agreed to fake kidnap you. Even the drugging part of it. To help your image. Make you appear strong but vulnerable. You actually got a lot of offers recently for good movies after what’s happened.”

“My manager…” you trailed off, balling your hands up. You stormed back towards the cabin, Jensen on your heels. “I’m gonna fucking kill him! What the fuck is wrong with him!”

“Technically, you did sign a document saying you understood the arrangement,” said Jensen. “But obviously not. Based on what I’ve found and saw happening before, there’s no credible threat against you. My suggestion would be a lawyer at this point.”

“Can you take me home now please, Jensen,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“I’ll load up the truck. We’ll be back tonight.”

Later That Night

“Y/N,” said Jensen as you wandered straight over to your liquor cabinet when you got home. “He’s quitting and paying a substantial amount for you to not press charges as well as covering all of your moving costs and my pay. You don’t have anyone after you. I know it doesn’t feel like it but consider it a win.”

“I moved out of a house I loved that I can’t go back to, I’m far away from my friends, the one person in this industry I’m supposed to trust hurt me and this has been nothing but a complete waste of your time. I’m sorry, Jensen,” you said as you poured yourself a double.

“You didn’t waste my time,” he said as you sat on the counter, knocking back the liquor. He walked into the kitchen and took the bottle by your side, pouring himself a glass. He sipped his slowly, your head ducking down. “I would like to stay on as your bodyguard if you’ll allow it.”

“For what?” you asked. 

“Protection for you, same as before. This time though, I’ll make sure to keep you safe from the people you trust,” he said. You raised your head, Jensen licking his lips. “Managers, agents, anyone. The only person I will trust is you. You let me be the asshole bodyguard, scrutinize the people you work with. This never has to happen again.”

“Why would you do that? You don’t like me,” you said. He finished off his glass and set it aside, stepping right in front of you and staring you in the eye.

“I don’t recall saying that.”

“We aren’t friends. We’re a boss and employee. Your words,” you said.

“I still don’t hear the words I don’t like you in there,” he said.

“I can’t trust you to take care of me, protect me, if I think you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

“I told you. It’s very difficult to do my job if I care about you,” he said. “But the situation has changed. The threat is smaller. Safer. I can be friendlier...if you don’t question when I ask you to do something. My job is to protect you. You have to trust that all I am ever trying to do is keep you out of harm’s way. If we can agree to that, we can find a good rhythm, one where you don’t even notice I’m there and one where I know you’re okay. The threat before might not have been real but it exposed a problem. As long as you are living alone, you need someone here, just in case.”

“We will negotiate a new contract, one I can end anytime I so choose, and will detail when and when not you are on the clock.”

“Negotiating with you will be fun,” he said with a smirk. “We have a deal?”

“Do you really think I need a full time bodyguard?”

“We can negotiate that,” he said.

“I’m serious.”

“I think powerful, pretty, single women should use the advantages available to them to protect themselves.”

“We’ll talk about it,” you said. He smiled and headed for his bedroom, your gaze following him as he walked out of view. “Jensen.”

“Yeah?” he said, popping back into view.

“We’ll figure out your new contract in the morning,” you said.

“Yes mam,” he said. “If you need anything else, you know where to find me.”

“Goodnight,” you said. He left and you lightly swung your feet, staring down at the hardwood floor. You hopped down and put the bottle back in the cabinet, taking a deep breath. 

Nothing was wrong. Nothing at all. 

But something still felt strange. You couldn’t put your finger on it. Maybe Jensen sensed it and that’s why he wanted to stay. But he wasn’t shy about coming out and telling you how it was. 

You sighed and went to the freezer, taking out a pint of mint ice cream and heading upstairs to bed, hoping a night of sleep at home would put it out of your mind.

“No way,” you said as you sat back in your chair in your home office the following morning. Jensen was smirking from the other side of the desk and was leaned back in his own, your lawyer sat at the small sofa with his laptop and typing up what the two of you were going back and forth on. “When I am filming and appearances we agree on.”

“We already agreed on those. Now we’re negotiating the parts we don’t agree on.”

“I do not need a bodyguard on the weekends. I already compromised on the you being on at night thing,” you said.

“Well, I’m going to be living in that bedroom so-”

“Actually, you’re not,” you said. He raised an eyebrow and you sat up straighter. “I decided last night that seeing as how I don’t particularly like this house and Jared and Gen just moved, I’ll be moving closer to my friends. I saw a home last night with a small guest house in the back that would be perfect for you.”

“I might as well be living in a different home at that point. It-”

“It is connected to the main home. I thought you might appreciate your own space and to be frank-”

“You don’t look like a frank,” he said. You smiled a bit, Jensen’s grin growing.

“If we’re going to have a long term relationship, which considering the possible trajectory of my career this might very well be, I’m going to have to insist on you having a separate space for yourself. You will of course have full access to the main house at all times but if I have friends over or a date, I would like my privacy. I’m sure you would like your own,” you said.

“If we’re going to have a long term relationship, any of your friends or a potential boyfriend are going to have to learn to live with me being around. No exceptions. I will give you privacy but I will be staying in the main house. As for you moving closer to friends, I welcome it. They’re my friends too after all.”

“Let me pose a hypothetical question to you. Say I meet a guy, we date, he moves in with me. Are you going to continue to live in the main house?” you asked.

“That will depend on the circumstances of your life at that point but if he’s living with you, I would move into a guest house or suite,” he said. “I may possibly move to my own place entirely. As I said, it’s going to be highly dependent on your life at that time.”

“I can agree to that. But your bedroom in the main house will have some space from mine,” you said.

“Understood. I will keep my own personal excursions out of the home,” he said.

“Good,” you said. “Now back to the weekend thing.”

“I’ll compromise with you. I am off duty on the weekend but I reserve the right to protect you if I feel you’re in danger,” he said. “I will keep to a small area of the house on my off days for your privacy.”

“I appreciate that but I won’t enforce it if you choose to watch some TV in the family room. You being off duty on the weekends does mean that if I go out, you are following though,” you said.

“Compromise. If you go out and I want to go, I can but I don’t have to,” he said. “I can use my discretion.”

“What if I want to go out with my friends?”

“Go out with your friends. I may or may not come. I’ll stay away, let you enjoy your fun without me interrupting unless I see a threat. Deal?”

“Alright,” you said. “But I reserve the right to fire you on the spot for anything and I mean anything. Two weeks pay if I do.”

“Okay,” he said. You were surprised at how quickly he accepted that but he seemed indifferent. “It sounds like we have most everything settled.”

“Rob, can you send us both a copy of the contract for review then and-”

“Oh, I have something else,” said Jensen. “A little...requirement of mine.”

“We already discussed pay and benefits.”

“Those are fine. I’ve found in the past we don’t get along when you don’t listen to me. As part of our working relationship, you will take a self-defense course chosen by myself and you will learn the different things that if you do, will make your life safer and minimize the need for me. They are for both our benefits. One’s a short book and the other a two hour class. Is that acceptable?”

“Yes. Rob, write up our contract for us please,” you said. He said he’d have it by the end of the day and you slumped back in your seat, Jensen staring at you. “What?”

“Want to go pick out a house?” he asked.

“What?”

“You want to move. It’s Sunday. Open houses.”

“Rob’s already put in an offer on the place I mentioned,” you said.

“Oh. You don’t even want to see it?” he asked.

“The pictures seemed nice. I’ll renovate what I don’t like. I’m not moving again after this,” you said.

“Oh. Cool. I will pack up most of my things in the meantime,” he said as he stood up.

“It’s Sunday. You’re not at work right now. Do whatever you want, Jensen,” you said.

“New contract isn’t effective yet,” he said. “Besides, knowing you we’ll be in the new place in a week. Might as well be prepared.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 3 here!

[bakusdumptruck]

Bakusquad Crack Post Pt.2

Hello you beautiful bitches 😌 hope you had a good day today! I was stuck on what I was going to write and decided to make a side story on what happened with the LoV in the first part! So now i’ll give you high bakusquad ft. The LoV🤩

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Pairing: Aged up Bakusquad x gn!Y/n x LoV 

Warnings: Use of marijuana, swearing, injuries, slight manga spoilers

Summary: Bakusquad gets kidnapped by the Lov, but it turns out better than expected.  

✨QUICK RECAP ✨

You and the Bakusquad were v e r y faded chilling on a hill watching the stars 

A nomu pops out of no where and you all start attacking, but completely miss

The nomu starts chasing you and ends up knocking everyone out 

OKAY NOW LETS GET IT 😈

So... you got kidnapped by the infamous League of Villains

B💥: *waking up* “Fucking shit what hap- oh shit hey crusty 😏 never thought i’d be here again.”

ST(Shiggy)🧴: “Never thought you’d be this easy to catch you little bitch”

B💥: “WHO YOU CALLIN A LITTLE BITCH YOU FLAKEY FU-”

Y/n🥵: *evil/scary ass voice* “Bakugou if you don’t shut the fuck up right now i’ll let his flakey ass disintegrate you. You’re beING TOO FUCKING LOUD 😃🔪”

B💥: “uh... where’d you get that knife from :D”

K💪🏼: “Hey guys, sorry to ruin your moment but shouldn’t we be concerned that we got kidnapped.”

M💅🏽: “I agree... We literally got kidnapped by the people who want to kill us.”

S🕷: “Oh shit, that’s who they are? No wonder they looked so familiar.”

All: 👁👄👁

ST🧴: “Ya’ll are dumber than I expected... anyway we want you guys to join us. You all have powerful quirks, especially you Baku-”

B💥: “YAWWNNNN. No thank you. I already said no.”

ST🧴: “Did you just s a y the word yawn 🙃 *scratching neck* You’re pissing me off. I’ll just kill you then.”

S🕷: “Hold on mr.saltine, before you kill bakubro can we smoke our last joint? This weed was expensive and I AM NOT letting it go to waste. Plus I have even more and it needs to be gone before I die.” 

M💅🏽: “Sero please tell me you didn’t bring your stoner pack.”

S🕷: *pulls out his so called “Seros Super Stoner Pack”*

Shiggy’s starting to regret his life choices.

All of a sudden Dabi pops out of no where

DB🔥: “Is that weed? I smell weed. Where is it.”

 Sero had the most amazing idea, but not for them to escape no, he has had the most amazing idea to make sure he finishes his weed.

S🕷: “...Wanna smoke with us 👀 I already rolled a joint and I can roll at least 4 more. Don’t wanna let it all go to waste 😃”

DB🔥: “Let them out of the cuffs. I need to smoke.”

At this point Shigaraki is over everything and decides to smoke to distract himself from the stupidity.

So, ya know, Sero does his thing and hands yall the other papers to roll up

*30 minutes and 5 joints later...*

DB🔥: “NO BUT LIKE ENDEAVOR IS A FUCKING B I T C H. HE CAN KISS MY BURNT ASS.”

 This smoke session somehow turned into a therapy session. 

DB🔥: “I KNOW HE’S MY DAD BUT HOLY SHIT. FUCKER PUSHED ME INTO FAKING MY OWN FUCKING DEATH AND NOW HERE I AM. IM BURNT, MUSTY, AND STUCK WITH THIS CRUSTY ASS BITCH.”

Y/n🥵: *patting his back* “There there, let it out... uhuh just like that”

DB🔥: “I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING CRY. MY TEAR DUCTS ARE BURNT AND I FEEL DUMB AS FUCK CRYING WITH NO TEARS. I LOOK FUCKING CONSTIPATED.”

ST🧴: “Bitch please, you look constipated all the time.”

DB🔥: “Square the fuck up. 😃 Right now.”

D⚡️: “So... we just gon ignore the fact that he’s Endeavors “dead” son?”

Eventually Dabi lets everything off of his chest and goes off pouting in your arms

To lighten up the mood Sero connects his phone to his speaker and picks whatever song came up first 

It was WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.

Denki was the first one to get up and starts to rap the first verse. He knew it word for word.

Sero joined in after but also started dancing

Mans was MOVING them hips. Them shits were swaying like it was nobody’s business 💅🏽

WAIT SO HEAR ME OUT,  I feel like Bakugou would be a completely different person when he’s high

Yeah he’s still angry and shit but he’d be sooooo fucking funny

 This bitch would get up all of a sudden and be like 

B💥: “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG FUCKER. THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING MOVE”

Then he starts aggressively twerking anyway he can 😭

He’s twerking on the wall, on the floor, ON PEOPLE  

You all eventually form a circle around him and start hyping him up

LMAOO ITS LIKE THAT DANCE CIRCLE AT SCHOOL DANCES AND EVERYONE HAS THEIR PHONE OUT

Y/n🥵: “BEST FRIEND SHOW EM YOUR MOVES”

K:💪🏼: “GO, OUUU YUH GET IT I GUESS 💅🏽... OKAY IM NEXT BEST FRIEND. GET THE CAMERA 🤩”

KIRI FUCKING PUSHES HIM OUT 

K💪🏼: “dougie 🤪 hype me up 😤🥵”

He does it REALLY bad, but that’s not gonna stop the hype 

ST🧴: “AHAHAHA WHY HE MOVIN LIKE THAT. MANS STIFF AS FUCK”

M💅🏽: “Like you can do any better than that 😗”

ST🧴: “Baby please, watch this”

Shiggy starts voguing... and he’s really fucking good. 

All: “💀”

DB🔥: “HOLY SHIT THIS IS FUCKING GOLD . YO GUYS GET THE FUCK OUT YOUR ROOMS. Hehe he’s gonna regret doing this. ”

The rest of the LoV members come out and are shocked 

They don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be disgusted 

TG����: “Dabi... is he okay, wait a minute... wHEN DID THEY GET HERE”

SP🐊: “...I’m going back to my room.”

TW👺: “OUU YUH SHIGGY. GET IT BITCH- this is so fucking disgusting.”

Mr.Compress and Kurogiri don’t even bother to see whats happening

Once the most iconic part of the song pops up YOU AND MINA GO OFF.

M💅🏽: “OUT OF THE WAY BITCHES. ITS THE BADDIES TURN.”

Holy fuck can y/n and Mina marry me already. p l e a s e.

Yall hitting every beat, every move, THE ATTITUDE. Yes. A+. 1000/10

Everyone was screaming their asses off and jumping around

After WAP, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low played

DB🔥: “OHHH SHIT ITS MY TIME WHORES”

Dabi pulls out a guitar and amp out of thin air and plays his fucking heart out.

Bakugou finds drums and plays like theres no tomorrow

Sero finds a bass and joins in 

Y/n🥵: “What the fuck 😃 why is this so good 😃”

The rest of you starts head banging and singing along

K💪🏼: “TAKE A BREATH DONT IT SOUND SO EASY, NEVER HAD A DOUBT NOW IM GOING CRAZY WATCHING FROM THE FLOOR”

M💅🏽: “waYMENT- I THOUGHT HE COULDN’T SING. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM 😳”

Denki adds harmony to the next part

K💪🏼D⚡️: “TAKE A BREATH AND LET THE REST COME EASY, NEVER SETTLE DOWN CAUSE THE CASH FLOW LEAVES ME. ALWAYS, WANTING MORE”

Y/n🥵: “DENKI YOU TOO??? I’m going to pass away. This is too muCH. I’M GOING TO SIMP PLEASE.”

Oop, the best part’s coming up... who’s singing next?👀

DB🔥: “IT WAS NEVER A PHASE MOM. ITS A LIFE STYLE- CAUSE I GOT YOUR PICTURE IM COMING WITH YOU DEAR MARIA COUNT ME IN THERES A STORY AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BOTTLE AND IM THE PEN.”

That shit was chefs fucking kiss. Dabi has the perfect voice for this song.

At this point you, Mina, and Shiggy were on the floor with tears streaming down your faces.

When yall thought it couldn’t get any better, Bakugou and Sero start harmonizing for the last part 💅🏽

B💥S🕷: MAKE IT COUNt WHEN IM THE ONE WHOS SELLING YOU OUT CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE STEALING HEARTS CALLING YOUR NAME FROM THE CROWD”

Dead. You flat lined. Your limit has been passed and now you’re a hard core simp. 

Mina was so glad she started recording because there definitely won’t be another opportunity.  

Y/n🥵: “Guys... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. HOW CAN YOU PULL INSTRUMENTS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND PLAY PERFECTLY. KIRI WHERE THE HELL DID THE VOICE COME FROM.”

The boys were sweating and out of breath. They just did a whole performance in the hide out with zero practice.

They stared at each other at the end for a little bit and excitedly hyped themselves up. 

Dabi spoke about starting a band forgetting about his occupation and why the bakusquad was there in the first place

Honestly this moment was precious. The villains and aspiring hero’s were getting along because of the weed in their system. This just proves how weed can solve all your problems 💅🏽

*knock knock* “Doordash delivery”

ST🧴: “Oh, when did you guys order food?”

S🕷: “We didn’t order food...”

ST🧴: “... FUCKING SHIT NOT AGA-”

The pro hero’s busted in 🤩

DB🔥: “KUROGIRIIII. GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.”

And just like the the LoV escaped

M💅🏽: “Ya kno what, I honestly forgot where we were.”

B💥: “Same.”

K💪🏼: “We were having too much fun...”

D⚡️: “Ughhh why’d they come so early 😫 we were boutta start a band 🥺”

S🕷: “Wait... why were we here again??”

Y/n🥵: “Sero...baby, maybe you should lay off the weed for a bit 💀”

Aizawa walked in and shot his scarf out to all of you. He made sure to make them uncomfortably tight and pulled you guys right to him.

A🐱: 👺👹*gremlin noises*👺👹

Lol you guys are fucked. 

HELLOOOOO I hope you guys enjoyed this story of what went on when the squad got kidnapped!! Honestly my account is gonna have ALOT of bakusquad scenarios since I literally love all of them so much. Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about hanging out with them 😭 Credits to jazzmonster for the gif 😌 once I saw it I knew I had to use it. Anywayy thank you all so much for the support :’-) I didn’t think people would actually like the stuff I write since its all over the place 😫 Hope you have a good rest of your day/night 🖤

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

Trade ya

based on this ask

TW//Slight violence and a mention of blood

-

Macaque slipped back into the theatre after his little chat with the Monkey Kid.

Boy howdy, that kid had some explaining to do, to his companions. If only he could stick around and watch that mess unfold. But he had to retrieve his lamp.

Honestly, that was easier than he thought it would be.

Wich was concerning.

As Macaque walked over to the stage he paused for a moment, where was (y/n) is all this?

The Monkey King was off doing his own thing for a while, and he'd assumed his kid would be hanging around Mk and his friends, yet the amber-furred monkey wasn't with them when they had entered the theatre.

Did Mk literally forget one of his friends? damn, he was starting to become like the Hero...

despite everything that's happened between them since the whole 'I stole the Monkey Kings powers from Mk and broke his trust leaving him emotionally distressed' thing, he actually wanted to get to know his kid(and maybe convince them to join him)the week of stalking wasn't enough for him to say the least.

Disregarding the thought (though not entirely) he make is way back to the remains of the lap.

And with a little magic it was good an new!

Fuck ya!

As he admirered his handy work for s little longer and sound of clapping caught is attention. Wiping his head around he saw the wired guy in a pin strip suit form the play, if Macaque remembered correctly this was the guy that game my the *Skeleton Key.

"My my, that was such a magnificent performance!"

"Ha, ya well it's over, t-this was the last show actually"

Oh he did not like this for a single second. His fur was standing on there ends screaming for him to just leave.

Just as Macaque was about to use the shadows to escape, in a flash of icy blue light the guy was now behind him, and the next thing he know he was being picked up by the neck and for some reason couldn't, fucking move.

What the actual hell is happening???

"Lady Bone Demon would like a word with you~"

In the blink of an eye, the scenery changed form the damaged auditorium he'd rented out to and underground cave with mechanical parts and machines everywhere.

Just one wif of the musty roten air and he knew he was in the Spider Queens lair. But it looked different then it had been that last time he was there.

Then again it's been centuries since he was last there.

He was shortly let go by the insane suite wareing guy and rubbed his neck where it had been grabbed. And just like that the guy disappeared, leaving the Lady Bone Demon in his stead.

"Why greetings Macaque, its beet long since we last spoke"

" not long enough if you ask me"

The white haired lady let out a hum of acknowledgement as she circled the monkey.

...

"Soo any particular reason why you got one of your brain dead servents to get me?" Macaque questioned, pulling back a bit not wanting to be in her immediate range.

Up purely tactical.

"Ah, well it's come to my attention that you poses something of grate use to me" her icy gaze fixed on the lamp.

"Ya not happening" Macaque said flatly, he went though a lot to get his hands on this thing and he wasn't going to part with it so easily. Besides what ever the Lady Bone Demon was planning, would spell doom for the world as they know it.

Macaque my be a bad guy in some sense, maby even be considered an antihero-that was just more of an ass on a good day- but he wasn't one for wold domination.

In the past he just wanted to wreck heaven with his dear beloved friend befor his change of heart, not enslave mankind. They just wanted to prove there worth nothing more. But this bitch, na she was jack shit crazy. It took the combined forces of Demons and celestials alike to seal her away, himself being one of said demons.

"Ohh what a shame, looks like I'll be keeping this little one then"

In a puff of smoke (y/n) collapses on the foor to her, there fur slightly matted with blood and a visible gash on the left eye.

Similar to where his was-

It wasn't deep and wouldn't cause damage, but it still needed treatment.

Holy hell is this where (y/n) was all this time?

Macaques mind was going a mile a minute but he kept his poker face.

"And I sould care about some random kid because?"

"Oh~ Don't play dumb with me, Six Eared Macaque. You know exactly who this little one is" she started using her powers for lift the amber-furred monkey off the ground there one good (color) eye glosed over and hazy.

"After all this is your child"

"Hate to brake it to ya, but I don't have a kid"

"My sources say other wise"

Several screens descended for the walls and around them, all flicked to like to reveal footage of Macaque during his little stalking mission when he first planed to steal the Monkey Kings powers and found out about his long lost kid, and then some other footage of his watching them from the shadows.

Oh, oh no.

"I had my suspension on the Luner New Years, but your reaction solidify's my assumption"

Wha- shit his poker face slipped! Shiiiit

"So I'll ask again, the lamp or your child- they won't die persay, but I think the underground market would pay a hefty sum for one of such unique lineage"

His heart was beating faster than he thought possible, wait why would it be doing that! He shouldn't care! Should he?

Glancing between the lamp and (y/n)'s beaten form Macaque made a decision he might soon come to regret.

-

(Y/n) was having a good evening, well that was until the Spider Queens minions jumped them while on there way to the theater to meet up with the others(minus Sandy, what he had cats to take care of!)

When the first woke up it was in a dingy cell. And the next thing they knew the Spider Queen tried to get information about the Monkey Kings whereabouts.

"Ya right like the peach loving old man tells me anything! So if you could kindly let me on my marry way that would be fantastic"

You realy needed to know when to such your mouth or just give total bullshit information because Queeni had gotten pissed, and tried to beat the information out of you.

The Lady Bone Demon had to pry the spider off you. Saying you still had a use befor you blacking out.

-

When they woke for a second time everything was hazy, and there was muffled talking almost like they where under water.

Water was nice, you should learn to swim! It seems like fun! Maby you could get Mk or Mai to teach you.

After all the Monkey King was a shitty swimmer- wait no he was crap as under water fights, but wouldn't that require swimming as well-

Uh oh, was you being moved? Nooo das no gooood stop!

Ughhh why won't the muffin voices stop! And why can't I feel my eye!

E-y-e

Y E S spelles yes

E Y E S spells eyes how did that one guy get that confused, and you is moving again ST 0 p

Wait this was more comfy than before, is that red? Oh my moons it is! It's so soft!

And soft it was and you drifted to a more comfortable rest this time.

-

The third and final time (y/n) woke, they weren't in a cell, or had a hazy mindset. Areas not that hazy, but this time it was more so due to medicine than pain.

In fact they lay on a plush mattress, with equally soft pillows and nice heavy blankets tossed other them.

As (y/n) sat up they winced in pain slightly.

Looking down they take notice of the bandages, and a slitting head- and there are bandages on your eye as well fucking perfect.

"Good to see your up" a voice greated. Wiping their head to the side, there stood Macaques with a slight concerned look on his face.

Wha- owowowowowowowow

Probably shouldn't be moving so fast as (y/n) winced in pain again.

As (y/n) tried to steady themselves again and think of a retort, and side of the bed diped and a hand was placed oh your forehead, whilst the other heaped your arm.

"What are you-" "checking to see if you're fever spiked " "I has a heaver?" "Fever, and yes it set is last night after a particularly nasty infection" "oh"

"Wait, why are you-"

"The Bone bitch had you, i-i couldn't just let her harm you any more than she already had"

"That's dumb, you're dumb"

Sigh

"Okay back to sleep with you"

"Where am I?" "One of my safe houses, now sleep"

Sleep but what if...

"I-its okay, it'll be okay I'll be here when you wake again"

(y/n) blinked at him.

"I promise" he said softly as he guided you back down to the pillow, he retucked you in and was about to leave when (y/n) caught his hand.

Well fuck

Uhhh, you know what he's had a long fucking day himself he needs some sleep too.

So discarding his scarf to the side, as well as some armor plating and his shoes, Macaque got into the bed himself and just used himself. As he made himself comfortable, back tuned away for his pup a single thought echoed in his head.

'Im a fucking dad now, geat'

--

*Skelton Keys are said to open any door, plus the cannon key had a skull on it so why not?

UwU Anon you have no idea what this means, you have water my crops cleared my skin and my mind is sane!

I was originally planing to have this thing where the spider queen captured the reader/oc and used the robo parasight to make them a follower, but this, this is so much better sksksksksksk

I did most of this on mobile and my auto correct is bitchy 🙃

[antiloreolympus]

Bunch of (Older) Asks [P.2]

1. This episode of LO was cartoonish - no pun intended. Minthe gave an Evil Character speech fr. Your target demographic cannot be over 18 if you are That Much on the nose.

2. I think one of the reasons that LO fans deny it’s flaws is because RS does not plan the episodes, just writes them as she goes. And i don’t remember clearly but i think there were some asks saying that RS steals from HxP fanfics and theories (which makes sense since she likes to control and see everything) and seeing how there are so many theory accounts of LO she probably views them all and steals the theory ideas, therefore giving LO fans a sense of righteousness. What is simply RS art laziness or her just simply not caring about the artwork anymore is taken by fans as a theory for what might happen, leaving RS with plenty of ideas and her fans happy that they saw “hidden clues”. An example would be that of the episode where Persephone is chasing Minthe and then turns her into a plant, the shape of the cape looks like the eyes that Persephone feels around her (although i believe that it’s just simply a coincidence) and the fact that her hair does not grow like crazy. We know that Persephones hair grows when she’s mad, sad etc etc and is even shown on the episode when she turns big and when she grown vines and starts hibernating because she’s on TV as a criminal (which she is). Now because RS forgot to draw Persephones hair longer when she was attacking Minthe, fans are speculating that Persephone now has her powers on control and is not shadowed over by “the feeling” anymore. While the next episode shows that Persephone can’t actually turn Minthe back into a nymph and saying that she can’t really control her powers. RS will probably find a way to incorporate that theory in the comic but who knows when

3. One thing that I hate in lore olympus is the treatment of minthe. I understand why people don't like her, but she's seen by all the characters as one dimensionally evil when she's not really commited a cardinal sin in my eyes? Like she's very obviously lower class, struggling with money, and she figures that seducing a musty rich slave owner is her best way to an easy life. damn bitch i'd do the same, she's also seen to be easily led by thetis, and damn if my boyfriend who i was already feeling insecure around (who's family called me the equivalent of trailer trash and he didnt stick up for me) told me he was dumping me for a NINETEEN year old??? I'd freak out too! She's not perfect, and she's said some awful things, but she's honestly pretty rational. She's also treated pretty awfully by the other gods on account of her being a nymph, and being shafted by persephone who is a literal heiress? She knows she needs hades so she doesn't die, and that persephone doesn't. I don't know, i understand why people don't like her and she's said some unforgivable things, but her actions? They make sense, and she's annoyingly portrayed as irredemable and evil.

4. i get it, minthe is obviously an antagonist, but i get no satisfaction in her death. she was a victim of hades' actions + him using his power over her to where him turning his attention to the next pretty thing he saw meant shed be homeless / in poverty. why would i root for a rich girl's split personality (so it CAN'T be her actually doing it! god forbid!) murdering a powerless nymph for actually standing up to a king and have it be "no you MUST respect the 1% or else ill kill you!" its gross!

5. LORE OLYMPUS WANTS WHAT HADESTOWN HAS

6. The confrontation between Minthe was drawn like a joke/meme when it was a pretty serious moment puts me off so much and the quality of the art was so stiff and underwhelming too. If this were made with the old art it wouldve looked alot better and expressive i think

7. LO would have flopped a long time ago if it didn't use greek mythology names as a crutch; the art style would have only carried a season minimum before people would start realizing how badly written it is...

8. ngl i follow a fucking homestuck RP blog with better greek mythology takes than LO

9. The biggest issue that makes me despise Lore Olympus is that pretty much every character falls into one of two groups: 1 Persephone cheer squad who can do no wrong and 2. Evil Meanies who don't like Persephone the cute uwu bean how dare you not love her, like girl....

10. Every comic or fanfic i’ve seen of HxP depicts Hades as this insecure, shy guy who doesn’t really know how to talk to women and like? Wtf.. how is one of the most powerful gods, the ruler of the underworld insecure?? I get that people love the whole -uwu shy powerful guy talks to main love interest and is a softie - but for what Hades is it doesn’t make any sense. And since so many people want to make gods relatable to mortals (which is dumb and so unachievable) a much better portrayal of Hades would be one of the quiet and fair guy. A confident god who knows what he’s doing and is aware of the power he has. An insecure god means that he’ll exploit everyone in his kingdom and our -soft boi- can’t do that. Hades is aware of his powers and the role he has, and has simply not found a goddess to his liking to be queen of the underworld. LO making Hades into this abused guy who has low self esteem is done in bad taste. I understand that people want to read and see things that seem familiar or that include them and whatnot, however gods are gods. They are not mortals. They don’t go by the same rules as us and do not process things the same as us.

[takerfoxx]

Now I'm wondering how the Walpurgis Nights girls would react to watching the Rebellion Story. ESPECIALLY Charlotte.

You...really need to stop putting ideas in my head that I can’t stop thinking about.

Fine. Okay. Here’s a rough draft of that very scenario, but mostly unedited and only up through the opening. I’ll hit up the rest when I have the time.

Note that this takes place some time after the story’s wrapped up, so the Hitomi arc is canon.

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

Ch: Okay, this is basically us if we didn’t turn into witches and die, am I getting that right?

Ca: That does seem to be the case.

Op: So worst possible scenario.

G: Oh, I think it’ll be okay. I’m actually really excited about this!

Ok: I hope we get to see our outfits. I’ve always wondered about those.

…

Ok: Who’s narrating?

Ch: Sounds like a really grumpy Homulilly.

H: I don’t sound like that. Do I sound like that?

Ch: A little…

Op: Oooh, ominous!

Ok: “Disappear…” Do they mean turn into witches?

Ca, reading the description: No, apparently this take place in an alternate world where magical girls just…disappear instead of turning into witches.

Everyone: What?

Op: Who let that happen?

Ca: Um, Gretchen, apparently.

G: I did what? How?

Ch: I’m sure it’ll explain things. Eventually.

…

Ok: That sure is a lot of bubbles.

Op: Sounding a little cynical there, Lilly-Billy. Something you want to tell the rest of the class?

H: It’s not me!

Ok: Familiar smile…Oh, I know who she’s talking about!

Op: No matter the world, Homulilly stays loyal!

G: Why can’t she see me though? Am I dead?

H: Seriously, we don’t know if that’s even me.

…

Ch: Nice city.

Ok: I feel like I’m watching a tourism ad.

G: Is that where we lived?

…

Op: Uh, okay. This is new.

Ch: As far as we know.

G: I thought there weren’t any witches in this version.

…

Ch: City’s leaking.

Ok: That’s what happens if you don’t housetrain your skyscrapers.

Op: Looks like cum.

=Homulilly has to cover her mouth and turn away to keep from laughing=

Ca: Ophelia!

Op: Well, it does.

Ok: And now it turned into a ballerina. Okay.

Op: Cumberlina.

Ca: Stop saying cum!

…

Ch: These animators were on drugs.

Ok: Music’s nice, though.

H: “Welcome to cinema”?

…

Ok: Okay, what the hell is this fever dream? What’s with the demon teddy bear?

H: Maybe it’s a witch?

G: There aren’t supposed to be witches though!

Ch: What are we supposed to fight then?

Op: Maybe each other?

G: Oh, I really hope not.

Op: Gang war! Gang war!

Ok: Who is this thing even performing for?

…

Ca: Are those…teddy bear bombs?

Ok: Looks like.

Ca: And are those…are those marshmallows or pillows?

Op: Okay, following a clumsy dance recital with indiscriminate acts of terrorism. You know what? I get it. I’ve been there.

…

Ok: Holy crap, that’s Gretchen!

H: What? Where?

Ok: There! To the left with the cumberlinas!

Ca: Stop! Saying! Cumberlina!

H: Pause it! Pause it!

G: Is that what I looked like? I’m so…

Op: Pink!

Ch: Honestly, it’s kind of adorable.

G: Why am I with the cumberlinas though?

Ca: =indistinct noises of irritation and defeat=

…

Ch: What, is it judging them now?

Op, to the TV: Oh, like you could do better! Asshole…

Ch: You okay?

Op: I’m fine. It just reminded me of someone I know.

Ca: Oh, that’s Gretchen all right!

Ok: So many frills!

H: You’re so cute!

G: It’s not that…WHOA!

Op: Holy shit, Gretch is packing!

Ok: Death from above!

Ch: Maybe you should have cleared out first.

G: Whoops.

…

Ok: Oh my God, it’s me!

Op: Hell yeah!

Ca: Holy shit, it is you!

G: Look at that outfit! It’s so cool!

Ca: There’s even a cape!

Ok: Forget the cape, I’ve got legs!

G: “Madoka.” Still sounds weird to me.

Op: Heh. “Bingo.”

…

Op: AAAAHHHH! THAT’S ME!

Ok: Okay, I was sort of worried, but c’mon. Our outfits look totally badass.

H: Look at that hair.

Op: I know, right?!

Ok: And we’re working together!

Op: Damn right! Tag team that musty bitch!

=high five=

Ca: Where are we, though? We’re in this, right?

Ch: Movie’s just started. I guess we show up later.

…

Ch: Uh…okay.

G: That was a lot of windows.

H: Was this sort of thing…normal?

Ok: Did anyone else see the bleeding goat?

…

=stunned silence=

Ch: Well, this is happening now.

Op: What the hell is going on?

G: Well, we obviously invited the monster teddy bear over for dinner!

Ok: As one does.

H: Is this a musical?

Ok: Oh, that would be so awesome.

…

Op: See? There you are, Candy!

Ca: Wow.

Ok: Oh, my God. That outfit is so hot.

Ch: Where am I, though? Am I even…What hell is that thing?

G: Um, Charlotte? I think that’s you.

Ch: What?!

Op: And the obligatory tit shot…

Ca: Yeah, they really did zoom right in on them, didn’t they?

H: Dead center.

Ch: I’m not really that creepy doll thing, am I?

H: Maybe you’re the teddy bear.

…

Ok: Building’s on fire.

Op: Not my fault.

Ok: It’s at least one-fourth your fault.

G: Is no one going to bring up the skyscrapers that the teddy bear blew up?

Ok: Guess not.

G: But what if there were people in there?

Ok: Yeah, we’re kind of lousy at the whole “save the city” thing, aren’t we?

H: Why haven’t I shown up yet?

Ok: Maybe you’re the teddy bear!

…

Ok: And she’s awake!

G: Oh, we’re following me! Am I the main character?

Ca: It did kind of lead with you.

Ok: Homulilly was narrating, though.

Op: Maybe she’s the wise old mentor that gets killed off in a flashback.

H: =belabored sigh=

Ch: WHY AM I A CREEPY DOLL THING?!

…

Op: Wait, is that a fucking Incubator?

Ok: Well, this just got dark.

G: Why am I petting…Oh! Is that my mom?

Ok: Close!

G: It’s my dad! That’s my dad!

Ok: Oh, wow.

Op: Gretch, you gonna be okay?

G: Tatsuya…

=Homulilly hugs her=

Ok: That is a lot of chairs.

…

Ch: Looks like it runs in the family.

G: What does.

Ch: Being a sweetheart.

G, blushing: Oh, uh, thank you.

Ok: Hey, Candy. Did you ever meet Gretch’s family?

Ca: No, I didn’t. Actually, the only parents I was introduced to were Ophelia’s, and, well…

Op: Say no more.

Ca: Thank you.

…

Ch: And the classic schoolgirl, off to class with toast in her mouth and an alien abomination on her shoulder.

Ok: As one does.

Op: Why is it always toast? They’re not hard to eat. Just eat it with the rest of breakfast!

H: Does anyone else feel a strange, almost irresistible desire to strangle that little white rodent every time it shows up on screen?

Everyone: Yup!

Op: If someone doesn’t shoot that thing at least once before the end of the film, then I’m going to be very disappointed.

…

Ch: I guess this is the opening.

G: I thought the song where we were all feeding the creepy teddy bear until it blew up was the opening.

Ch: I don’t think that was an anything. That was just…there.

Ca: I really like the animation though.

Ok: Song’s pretty.

G: Oh, look! I am the main character!

Op: Oh, look! Look! There we are!

Ok: Yes! Spin that teacup!

H: Oh!

Ok: Hey, there you are!

Op: Looking all depressed and dramatic in that spotlight, but there you are.

H: Am I like…the rival or something?

Ch: Honestly, the rival is always the best character.

…

Ca: I like this part.

Op: Look at us all go! This is pretty adorable.

Ok: Candy, was it actually like that when we were, well, alive?

Ca: Actually, it’s not too far off.

Op: Neat.

H: Oh, that stupid clock. I’m always stuck in a clock!

…

Ok: Heh. Hip bump.

Op: See? Even Gretchen wants the old you to cheer up.

=Gretchen playfully bumps Homulilly with her hip, who smiles=

Ok: I don’t think you’re the rival. More of Gretchen’s mopey girlfriend. You know, to balance out her ray of sunshine vibes!

Ch: So…basically like it is now.

H: I’m not that mopey.

Ok: Well, this is teenage you.

H: True...

…

H: Again with the clocks, and-WHOA!

Ok: What’s up with the wings?

H: Could I fly? Was that something I could do?

Ca: No, the wings are new.

…

Op: Okay, this part rules.

Ok: Dance break! Come on, Homulilly! Join in!

G: What’s with all the close-ups of our hips?

Op: Well, they’re cute!

Ok: Hey, did we really break out into dance whenever Homulilly needed cheering up?

Ca: No, the dancing is new too. And I wouldn’t say that she was really all that mopey, just very…serious-minded and focused. Very mysterious too.

H: I wonder why.

G: Because it’s sexy.

Op: Can’t really argue with that.

…

Ch: Well, there’s some foreshadowing if I’ve ever seen it.

G: Why did I turn into sand?

Ok: It’s probably symbolic for something.

H: And why was it focusing so much on me? Am I the main character? I haven’t even shown up yet!

Ch: At least you got to be in the opening and mostly looked like yourself. Me? I get to be a creepy doll thing!

Op: At least you’re merchandisable.

Ch: Oh, like a bunch of cute girls in showy outfits can’t be merchandised. There’s probably like hundreds of little figurines and…uh…

G: What are you…oh.

Ch: Probably best not to think about it.

Op: Speak for yourself. I find a swimsuit version of us, I’m getting the whole set.

Ch: I will literally break your arms.

Ok: What if they have one of you? But, the doll version?

Ch: Oh, God! I just pictured it, and oh God! No!

Ok: Personally I’m hoping for body pillows.

Op: Oh, those they definitely have. You have to go to some shady places to get the nudy kind though.

Ok: Charlotte’s are probably sold official.

Ch: Stop! I am begging you to stop!

[cherrybombusa]

GROUP ONE  - THE LIBRARY. SUCCESS.

PLAYERS:

THE ARTIST - Sloane Salt. THE ROMANTIC - Mac Walsh.  THE  FILMMAKER - Zev King.  THE MANNEQUIN - Lilli Montgomery.  THE BITCH - Zahra Jackson. THE WRITER - Noah Russell. 

PERKS EARNED: 

WALK IN MY SHOES: After Jamie Dyer spilled his secret to save his friends, he’s been rewarded with the ability to put other people in his shoes! If something happens to Jamie he doesn’t like, he has the ability to switch places with any character as if it happened to them instead. 

MEMORABLE MOMENTS: 

-MAC GOT TAKEN BY THE KILLERS.  -LILLI GOT GRABBED TWICE AND TAKEN.  -SLOANE ATTACKED A MAN ON LSD AND SAVED ZEV. -JAMIE SPILLED HIS SECRET TO CLARISSA - AND THE REST OF CHERRY. 

THE NARRATOR: It might not have been a quiet night, maybe not even uneventful, but the Gang found themselves grateful, at least, that the Candy Girl hadn’t shown her face. It was nearing midnight now, and with only Paulie Virginia checking on the kids before they fell asleep on the sand, and Lucas Bright left straggling on the beach with the Gang, they were sure to turn-in soon. 

They were gathered around the bonfire, talking and laughing - almost even letting their guards down - but the screech of three white vans pulling up to the shore interrupted every little conversation taking place around the bonfire. They didn’t want to think anything of it at first… College kids in this town were wild, and they were all piling back into town this week, after all. But when a group of masked, hooded figures with baseball bats, and kitchen knives galore began making their way out of the vehicles, and onto the beach - what were they supposed to do but worry?

OFFICER PAULIE: “Hey! Stop right there!”

THE NARRATOR: It was almost instinctual for the rookie to go right into barking cop voice, even with no back up  - stupid, of course - but another ‘Candy Girl’ stunt was the last thing he was going to let happen on his watch. The man reaches for the taser in his belt, just like he was trained to do, but just as he gets it free, the blur of a body rushing forward - Lucas Bright - distracts him for a split enough second to fumble. 

Paulie almost yells for Lucas to stop, but before he can get the words off of his tongue, the Bright kid nearly runs headfirst into one of the masked figures' fists. It’s shocking how hard he falls - makes Paulie wonder if he’s okay - but before he can wonder too much, he realizes too late that one of the hooded figures has gotten the jump on him. He’s half expecting the figure to reach for his taser - the oh shit moment of the century - but when Paulie feels a baseball bat connect with his ribcage… He almost wishes he had been tased. Might have hurt less.

CANDY GIRL: “Hello, my little freaks and geeks! Did you miss me and my little friends? Because I think tonight is about to get a little more fun.”

THE NARRATOR:  ...Uh oh. Maybe I spoke too soon about the Candy Girl not showing her face. 

It doesn’t take long to get the gang tied up - not with the threat of knives, and Paulie’s discarded taser at the hooded groups disposal - and the ringleader of this little group, the one bouncing around telling everyone what to do, seems absolutely giddy with her capture. What else are you supposed to expect from faceless psychos, though, right?

CANDY GIRL: “Here’s the game tonight, losers! We’re gonna split you up and see if you can pass our little trials. Those who do? They get to go home tonight! Those who don’t…. Well, you might end up closer to Lux than you thought you were before.”

THE NARRATOR: Candy turns toward one of the other masked figures - one that seems like her Helper - flicking her chin toward the Gang. It’s a cue, and that much becomes clear when one-by-one, each of them has a hood slipped over their face, obstructing their view nearly completely.

CANDY GIRL: “But first, we’re going on a little trip!”

THE NARRATOR: It’s hard for the Gang to know just how they’ve been split up, but as they’re pushed forward toward the parking lot - the sound of Paulie’s and Lucas’s far-off groaning in their ears - they know one thing. They’re completely fucked, and there’s nothing they can do about it with their hands tied behind their backs… Especially not when they’re about to be shoved into the back of those fucking vans.

Nobody’s really sure how long they’ve been driving - they’re all too terrified to try and keep count - but by the time the van finally slows to a stop, they’re all dragged right back out onto solid ground, and into… some old building. Just where, is the question.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN TAKEN BY THE CANDY GIRL TO CCU FOR A NIGHT OF FUN. DON’T DIE!

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it’s the heavy doors that give away their final destination, or maybe it’s the musty smell of old textbooks, but those who had ever stepped foot into the CCU library know right where they are at that moment. It’s a comforting place for some - one that induces only stress, or indifference to others - but it’s hard to imagine that it won’t be a place that brings anxiety after tonight; just as tainted as the boardwalk, or even walking along Lux’s and Harvey’s block might be. Now is no time to think about how they might feel in the future, though -- if they even make it that far. No, they’re going to have to make it through tonight first.

The gang is led into the room like lambs to slaughter - Jamie carried not-so-nicely over one of the maniacs shoulders - but once they’re situated, the hoods that cover the gang’s faces come off; they even cut the ropes off from around their wrists, but the knives, and baseball bats manage to keep everyone in their place. The library is dimly lit, with only it’s balcony lights shining down on the grandiose room; the bank of computers on the second floor is like a beacon, beckoning them forward. It almost seems normal for a moment, like they were just there studying after-hours, but the two figures heading the circle - Candy and her supposed assistant - shock them back into reality with a clap of their hands.

CANDY GIRL: “Like I said, we’re gonna play a little game tonight, boys and girls! But, you’re all oh-so-familiar with games, aren’t you? Especially after our special little stunt at the boardwalk.”

THE NARRATOR: Her voice could almost be considered familiar, but nobody in the room really knows where to place the memory of it. Did she actually sound like that recording on the beach? Was she someone they knew? The gang just looks at each other from any angle that they can; making eye contact at whatever cost, as if it might help them all jog their memory to know they’re on the same page. They don’t get another chance to listen, though, as the other figure - Candy's helper - begins speaking.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER:  “She’s written some riddles!”

THE NARRATOR:  They pull a sheet of paper from their pocket.

CANDY GIRL: “And you’re going to solve them! Don’t worry about the doors -”

THE NARRATOR:  The movement is clearly rehearsed as a number of their captors - five, if you’re counting - head toward the door. Three of them leave, but the other two begin looping chains through the antique handles, locking them into the room with no real escape but up… And we know just how well this group does with climbing.

NOAH RUSSELL: Of course. They couldn't have one fucking night could they? Although what more could he have expected from the masked figure who thought a funeral was the time and place to play spin the bottle. The library of all places had a chilling feel to it in comparison to the beach. Almost theatrical like every horror book he'd ever read, and he sure as hell had read a lot of them. "I'm getting real sick of these damn riddles." He started as he thought about taking a step towards the door before thinking better of it. These people had knives, bats, and while on their own that didn't have to overly intimidating, this was the same person who only too recently before had blown up an entire carousel. "Anyone opposed to taking out the windows?"

SLOANE SALT: On some level Sloane knew that this was... a bad situation. There were scary people with what looked like weapons. Extremely tall people, some as tall as the ceiling, maybe and swaying.  The hooded girl's voice sounded kind of familiar, but considering the state she was in, she could hardly pin point who it was. She hadn't said much of a word on the way to the library mostly because she didn't really want anyone to know that she was feeling weird and now she was sitting on her ass, staring at her newly freed hands. "When did I paint these...?" She muttered to herself, turning her head entirely too slowly to look over at Noah as he spoke. As she took in his words, her expression quickly shifted to offence, her eyes widening and her mouth opening in fear. Those poor windows, they hadn't done anything to anyone. "No, don't hurt them!"

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: “--Um, excuse me? You’re totally throwing us off our rhythm!”

THE NARRATOR: Candy’s little Helper interrupts the conversations with an annoyed tone, as if they’re the ones inconveniencing her night. It’s strange, how nonchalant it is, but Candy just just shushes her. You can't even see her face, but you can almost just tell she's rolling her eyes beneath the mask.

CANDY GIRL: “Will literally just say your line?

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: "Fine! You need three keys, and three keys, exactly!"

CANDY GIRL: "Or you'll spend the night -"

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it’s the fear of the moment that kept all of their eyes focused on the two masked figures interacting with them - tunnel vision, of sorts - but it only makes the loud squish of blade entering flesh even louder than it should have been. The group of them flinching before Candy even has a chance to start shrieking through the pain of the blade in their side.

It was almost unbelievable that it had happened at first - did it even make sense that the Candy Girl’s henchmen were even turning on her?  - but the blood splashing against the tile had to have been proof enough that it wasn’t just some fucked up group hallucination… One that didn’t seem so expected by either Candy Girl, or the other henchmen.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

THE NARRATOR: Fair question. And the attacker should have heard it - as loud as the second-not-so-in-charge-figure shrieked - but the knife-wielder didn’t even flinch as he dragged Candy toward the bookshelves; blood pouring from the wound in her side.

The other mask - Candy’s little helper - almost considers running for it, throws the note from her hands in anticipation of getting the fuck out of there…  but she hardly gets a chance when her own attacker - the other one of the maniacs who had chained the door - comes from behind her and squeezes their hulking arms around her fame. They have their own knife; one that plunges directly into her abdomen, but the Gang doesn’t have much time to watch as the attacker laughs and drags her toward his own row of bookshelves.

What. The. Fuck.

There’s only a moment of hesitation - it had all happened so quickly - but the gang wastes no more time before fleeing to opposite sides of the library, Mac helping Jamie as best as he can in the struggle. The sound of the woman’s dying screams echo across the space, shaking all of them to their core… but they all know one thing: they need to get their hands on that riddle.

If they’re locked in, then it might be their only way of getting out.

MAKE A CHOICE:  MAC, JAMIE, LILLI, AND NOAH ARE ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE LIBRARY, HIDING BEHIND THE LIBRARIAN’S DESK. ZEV, SLOANE, AND ZAHRA ARE ON THE RIGHT SIDE, MAKING THEIR WAY UP THE STAIRS TO THE SECOND LEVEL.

MAC: Tonight is the first time in his life that Mac thinks he shouldn't have went along with one of Libby's ideas. How stupid of them was it to all gather in one spot in the middle of the night? They might as well have asked Sloane to paint perfect targets on their collective backs. He'd already been freaking out enough as it was, but the sound of that blade? The blood? If he made it out of here alive they were sure to be added to his ever growing list of nightmare material. A sudden rush of adrenaline as everyone begins to flee has him nearly carrying Jamie across the room, ducking under the desk, eyes searching to see if the rest of his friends had made it over unscathed. "What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"

NOAH: Even though he knew about the kind of antics the Candy Girl could have possibly gotten up to, there was a difference between knowing and seeing them first hand. Of course it wasn't the first time he'd seen blood drawn, but the blood from cut lips and faces after a brutal run in from home failed in comparison to what he'd just seen. Candy Girl was supposed to be their captor wasn't she? The one who'd been tormenting them since night one? The one who kept Lux fresh and at the forefront of their minds, unable to move on. Watching her fall to her knees, the screeches of pain that rang out behind them as they'd ducked for cover. It didn't make sense. Any trace of alcohol that had once been intruding his symptom felt faint in comparison as he hid beside the desk. "I don't know but we can't stay here. We're gonna be sitting ducks. We need to find those fuckin' keys, but looking in a library is going to be like trying to find a needle in a haystack." He added in a harsh whisper as he attempted to catch his breath.

THE NARRATOR: Split up and helpless. Fuck. Looks like they need that riddle if they're going to make it out of here alive.

MAKE A CHOICE:  SOMEBODY DOWNSTAIRS MUST RETRIEVE THE RIDDLE: WHO WILL IT BE?

MAC: Mac's eyes dart around the room, searching for the slip of paper he'd seen one of their captors pull out at the mention of riddles. He wasn't even sure if it would help them at this point, considering he was almost positive getting stabbed wasn't part of the plan, but it was their best option. Right? When his eyes finally land on the piece of paper his adrenaline once again kicks in, causing him to lunge across the room in an attempt to retrieve it.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS!

THE NARRATOR: Every step sounds like a symphony in their own ears, each and every movement too-loud, even masked by the sound of Candy and her Helper's screams, but somehow Mac manages to make his way back around the librarian's desk and toward where the riddle was thrown. He gets his hands on the blood soaked paper; the breath leaving his lungs as the sound of screaming begins to die - no pun intended - out. It’s not completely obvious what he should do next, but he makes eye contact with his friends behind the librarian's desk; with the few on the second level. 

They’re never going to make it out of this without each other, so they better think fast. 

They hear the sound of the killers beginning to stir from somewhere within the maze of bookshelves, and just like that a plan forms in their freaky little hive mind. Someone needs to distract the killers while everyone else gets upstairs. But who will it be?

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEBODY MUST DISTRACT THE KILLERS WHILE THEIR FRIENDS GET UPSTAIRS. SHOULD THEY THROW SOMETHING ACROSS THE ROOM ,  SNEAK ACROSS THE ROOM AND KNOCK SOMETHING OVER, OR SHOULD SOMEONE UPSTAIRS THROW SOMETHING OFF OF THE BALCONY?

ZAHRA:  Zahra peered down at the half left on the floor below. Things had gone wrong so quickly and in so many ways and compartmentalising was the only way any of them were getting out of this in one piece, so she did her best to ignore the fading screams. Instead she turned her focus to her surroundings. There had to be something she could throw down to distract the psychos - there! Her eye caught on a computer plugged in near the edge of the balcony. Wordlessly, she hurried over to it and yanked out the plug. Then, with as much of a heave as she could muster, she threw it over the edge.

MAKE A CHOICE: FAILURE!

THE NARRATOR: It was a long shot, but as Zahra tosses the computer off the railing, only one of the killers turns their head to investigate. The other? Well, their gaze lands directly on Mac. 

It’s hardly a split second before they cross the room toward them, and as hard as Mac tries to fight, but it’s no use - the threat of the knife, and the feeling of it’s handle knocking against the side of his face is enough to give the killer the upper hand… At least they have time to throw the riddle in the general direction of their friend before they’re dragged away toward the maze of bookshelves. 

It’s enough to the rest of the gang all in place, but they know they have to get upstairs -  they have to get the hell out of there, and save Mac.. if there’s even time. They all book it as fast as they can, everyone helping Jamie along the way, and somehow they manage to make it up the stairs before they’re spotted - one of them even manages to grab the riddle, even if they were silently hoping it wasn’t Mac's last gift to them all. 

At least it might actually save them. 

Their hearts are pounding loud enough in their chests that they might swear they could all count each other’s heartbeats. Now is no time to check up on each other, though - not as they lay the first riddle out in front of them

.

If you want the first key, you’ll have to find Me,

I’m the keeper of the scrolls, you see.

Melvil named the system, and I check it twice,

Are you feeling naughty? Then here’s some advice: 

I’ll name a book, or maybe name three -

You’ll choose the one that speaks to the dream 

Of losing it all, or leaving behind 

That sweet, sane, little part of your mind. 

Maybe they fight it, or maybe they end it, 

Maybe the pick is the one your friend mentioned. 

Will your gang make it out? Maybe -  who knows.

But I wouldn’t count on it, unless you all know who glows.

HOODED MANIAC: THE KILLER IS HERE.

THE NARRATOR: The killer hardly sneaks up on the, but the Gang is surprised anyway - each of them gasping as Lilli is snatched up by his grasp. She screams - she's caught - but the rest of them have a choice to make.

MAKE A CHOICE: LILLI HAS BEEN GRABBED. DO YOU TRY TO SAVE THEM OR LET THEM GO?

ZAHRA: Yeah, things with Lilli had always been a little contentious but there was no way Zahra was letting her be dragged away. They'd already lost Mac and that was fucking enough. She lunged forward and grabbed Lilli as she was snatched up.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS!

THE NARRATOR: It’s a great effort, and though they don’t manage much real damage, Zahra's still successful in getting her ""friend"" the hell away from that monster. The whole group is terrified, but they’re quick on their feet as they move somewhere else that could be deemed even semi safe within the madness to solve the next riddle.... Watch out though. I think the killer saw where you were going.

MAKE A CHOICE: LILLI RUNS FOR THE KEY.

THE NARRATOR: Lilli runs as fast as she can - the gang all sneaking close behind - and with the correct location, it’s not hard to find the key taped to a shelf in the history section, along with the next part of the riddle. It should be easy to get back to their friends, but before they can even turn around, she feels hands grasping around her limbs and yanking them back through the bookshelves yet again- dragging her away toward the maze of a room to… She didn’t even want to think about it. She just knew they had to fight - but she can’t do it alone.

MAKE A CHOICE:  DOES SOMEBODY WANT TO SAVE THEIR FRIEND, OR LET THEM DROP THE KEY?

THE NARRATOR: The gang can hear Lilli trying to fight her attacker - her screaming echoing through the space  - and though the guilt eats them alive, they know there’s nothing they can do about it. They just have to hope that the fact that the screaming gets further and further away and doesn’t just abruptly end - just like it did when those two masked maniacs got stabbed earlier - is a good sign. 

The remaining members make quick work of grabbing the key and the riddle, and try to find another safe spot in the library.

If you want to get out, don’t Twist and Shout, 

It’s not the Candy Man locking you out. 

If you feel Clueless, then here’s your clue - 

You can find Me behind door number two. 

How to know you’re close? Just think of the times, 

The 90’s are ending, but gossip still thrives! 

Once you’re through, don’t look any further - 

Your key can be found in the one with no murder.

ZEV: Zev scopes out the Librarian's desk and makes a move for it, trying to keep down and quiet as he dashes, heart pounding in his chest.

THE NARRATOR: Zev sprints with everyone else not far behind him. The key is there, taped beneath Glenda Logan's desk along with the last part of their riddle, but at the very last moment - before the Gang can warn him - one of the killers comes and hits him over the back of the head with his knife. He's got a hold on Zev, and as hard as he's fighting, he's not going to be able to make it out alone.

MAKE A CHOICE: DOES SOMEBODY WANT TO SAVE THEIR FRIEND, OR LET THEM DROP THE KEY? 

SLOANE SALT: All of the running around and masked killers has mostly been Sloane moving in accordance with everyone else, eyes bugged out of her face as she tries not to trip over her platform boots. When Zev gets snatched, it's as if enlightenment comes over her and she suddenly becomes aware that one of her favourite people, someone basically a little brother to her is in danger. "Let go of him!" She screeches as she reaches for him, using all of her body weight to try and pull him away.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCESS!

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it's the LSD, or just sheer willpower, but everyone swears they actually see the Killer flinch as Sloane screams like a banshee toward him. They groan in pain as their shoulder is pulled nearly out of place, and in fear they run as far as they can in the other direction.

 The whole group is terrified, if not confident, but they’re quick on their feet as they move somewhere else that could be deemed even semi safe within the madness to solve the next riddle.

Here’s your third key - you’re almost there! 

Unless you can’t take a bit of a scare. 

Your clues can be found with Clarissa Teller - 

But she’ll only tell you if you can impress her. 

Somebody’s secret must be told.

 It’s only then that I’ll give her the gold. 

So, hurry along! But only choose one.

Oh, wow, oh boy!

Now this will be fun.

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEBODY MUST TELL CLARISSA THEIR SECRET ON THE COMPUTER UPSTAIRS. WHEN THEY DO, THE LOCATION OF THE THIRD KEY TO BE RELEASED.

NOAH: The panic that had gripped his chest as the evening grew, only intensified as they read their final clue. Mac had been taken, Lilli had been taken, he'd watched helplessly as Zahra saved Zev, and perhaps the bit that was the most impossible to forget, he'd seen the Candy Girl murdered before his very eyes. And while he didn't see the life fleeing from her eyes he could picture it a little too well. "Zev you okay?" He asked, in an attempted moment of calm and partially to distract from the racing of his own heart. Waiting the moment for some sort of nod before turning to the rest of the group. "What the hell is she talking about? What doesn't Clarissa know already?" He asked, his voice soft with profound fear as he glanced around the room. The first two clues while challenging in their own right, they seemed to fall into place, but he dreaded what could possibly be meant by the third.

SLOANE SALT: Sloane was definitely riding on more than one high at the moment, one of the unidentified form, from that pill she'd taken and one from saving Zev. She was breathing heavily, leaning on the table in the study room as she looked around at everyone who was still with them. They needed to get through this, that was the only thing that mattered, even if even the furniture was kind of freaking her out. Throwing her arms around Zev, she turned her head when she heard Noah's voice. Her mouth twisted as she fought off the urge to say something, a sly smile forming on her lips. "Come on, she doesn't know lots of secrets." Her eyes widened as she emphasised the 'lots'. In the state she was in, she was tempted to just start blurting out everything she knew, but then her head turned to Jamie and she suddenly felt guilty. "What do we do?"

JAMIE: Jamie had been watching the crew from the jump, lingering behind the rest not only due to his leg but his own dwindling motivation to be part of some messed up game when two of his favourite cohorts had gone missing with no promise of survival. This was what Cherry was now, a mecca of lost, frantic young adults enslaved to the whims of someone other than themselves.  As terrible as they were, Jamie didn't believe any of them deserved to be forced to admit to something they weren't ready for. That was why he'd agreed to hide the note, wasn't it?

When Sloane's desperate eyes met his, he'd already made up his mind.

"I'll do it," he said, with little fanfare. "Can someone help me up the stairs?"

By the time he was seated at the computer, his heroic resolve had diminished. Words that normally came easy for him sat bated behind still fingers as he thought of exactly what to write when he'd never allowed the thoughts to come to real fruition.

𝐝𝐲𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞:  Dear Clarissa, the day has finally come where I have to acknowledge your existence but rest assured that it's not by my own volition. I have a secret to tell you that I'm sure won't come as too big of a surprise. 

Last semester, I snuck in and did the SATs for Cherry High graduates who had the means to pay. My family is in debt, thanks to my father and his frivolous new wife, and I thought I'd be able to pay it off. I couldn't, but that's not the point. The point is that I enjoyed every minute of it. The studying, the acceptance, the shining accolades.

I mean, I wouldn't have to talk to you if I just went to college, would I?

THE NARRATOR: It probably feels like a punch in the gut to be selling their own secret to the local paper, but as they press send on the keyboard - as Clarissa starts typing - the power goes out, and the room goes dark. It’s terrifying at first, enough to make the Gang clutch at each other, like it might be their last moment… But when the sound of chains dropping from the door handles echoes through the room - followed by the scurry of sprinting out of the library - they almost think to breathe a sigh of relief. Could that really be it? Could it be over? 

They don’t move for nearly an hour - or maybe it just feels like an hour - but when they finally decide the coast is clear, the group of them  - or what’s left of them - sprint down the stairs, and the hell out of CCU as quickly as they can. Maybe it’s a betrayal to not even look for their friends… or maybe their bodies. But how are they supposed to stomach the thought of it? How are they expected to stick around with those… killers still on the loose? 

Are their friends still alive? Is the Candy Girl alive? Who knows. They just know they need to get the police down here to help their friends as soon as they can... even if it means leaving people behind for now.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED YOUR PLOT EVENT. YOUR FRIEND'S FATES ARE UNKNOWN.

[alovesthis]

All Things Must Pass - Dean Winchester CHAPTER THREE

Dean Winchester x Female!Reader Fic

Fic Summary: Reader, her sister Stevie and the Winchesters reunite after not seeing each other in a few years. Ever since Dean told her to leave him and his issues behind, reuniting wasn’t what you expected it would be like. Hunting, past feelings, memories and a life threatening situation that was placed upon Dean Winchester creates tension between you two and everything else.

Warnings: None? Angst. Minor violence?

Word Count: 2.3k

CHAPTER THREE

It’s nearing midnight and the four of you were splitting up. Sam and Stevie are walk around one corner with flashlights by their side, as you and Dean are stalking down the narrow alley. The concrete is wet and filled with puddles from the downpour from earlier. Everything is dark  except certain illuminated spots from a street lamp or two. Just an hour ago, you all figured out that it was just one vampire and it so happens to be a woman who had killed just two people. 

You start walking ahead of Dean and notice a large shadow behind a big dirty dumpster. 

“Dean, over here.” 

You hear his heavy footsteps approaching from behind you and suddenly his flashlight shines at the shadow ahead, revealing a puddle of blood. Reaching for your gun, you continue walking ahead of Dean, who’s whispering to you in protest. You ignore him peaking behind the dumpster and falling to your knees to help the struggling, on the verge of death, man that lies on the floor. 

“This case, the vamp is killed two vics so far?” You ask as you turn back to the man. “It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.” 

“Three now.” Dean furrows his brows at the man laying down. 

“No, he’s not gonna die.” Your hands stop at his neck, bloods pouring out. “It’s our job to save these people, just call a ambulance and then we’ll go.” 

“This son of a bitch kills two people… all of a sudden she keeps one alive?” 

“It could’ve been an accident. I mean, keeping him alive.” 

Your hands are covered in the mans blood as you keep pressure on the wound on his neck. He’s slowly passing out, and you’re beginning to panic. 

“Alright there’s too much blood, Dean. Call them, now.” 

Dean keeps the flashlight on you and the victim as he takes his phone out of his jacket pocket and begins to diall. 

“Don’t you worry. We’re getting help.” 

“Yeah, hi-” 

Dean’s voice comes to a stop. You hear a loud thud coming from behind you and looking his way, you call for him as you see him lying on ground beside the dumpster. There’s a dent in it from him being thrown into it with great force. His voice is hoarse as he groans in pain, his head lifting up to meet your concerned eyes. Without saying anything, the two of you are furrowing your brows in confusion trying figure out what the hell just happened. 

“Dean!” 

You and Dean both glancing up behind you to see Sam and Stevie calling his your name from the end of the alley. You’re sighing in relief and notice that none of you were hurt by the possible vampire that just threw Dean into the side of dumpster. Paying attention back to the victim, you notice that he’s now fully passed out. Your bloody covered fingers glide up to the side of his neck by his ear and pressy gently, waiting to feel a pulse. Once you feel the slight thumps pulsing against his skin, your eyes are shutting for just seconds in content that he might be okay and survive this. 

“We’re alright!” You call out to them. “Still gonna need that ambulance.” 

“Where the hell did that bitch go?” Dean asked. 

“Stevie, behind you!” 

Something pulls you back off the man on the ground, sending you flying and skidding across the concrete. Groaning in pain, you open your eyes to see a blonde woman hovering over you, her mouth opening wide revealing her fangs. Lifting up your right leg, you pull back and kick her hard off of you, causing her to land back on her knees. You feel a burning sensation on your knees and look down to see your light blue jeans have been shredded, covered with a little bit of your blood. 

Behind the vampire just a few feet away, Dean’s rolling up his jacket sleeves and taking the blade to his arm, slicing himself open, blood rushing down his arms. 

“You smell that?” He yells. “Come and get it!” 

“Dean, no!” 

“Yeah, that’s right. Come on...I smell good, don’t I?”

The blonde vampire smiles and snaps her head around, getting ready to pounce over to him. Standing up, you run over to the woman and wrap your arm around her neck trying to pull her back. She instantly elbows you in the stomach, causing you to lose your balance and let her gain some traction over your body. Once she grips you by the waist and makes you face Dean, he rases his arm to make sure she smells his blood. 

She stands there looking back and forth between the two of you, as she grips you tighter by the waist and moves your hair, licking the side of your neck. Your breathing becomes shallow, frightened that she might bite into you, turn you or even kill you. The blade! You remember it’s just behind your back in your jeans, but her grip on you makes it hard for you to reach behind without her noticing. 

“You want me, not her!” Dean shouts, dropping his blade. “Come on!” 

With just your luck, the blade in the back of your waist band drops to the floor before you could even reach for it and you’re cursing in anger. The vampire starts laughing while shoving you off, sending you gliding across the ground and into a puddle. Your eyes widen in horror watching the woman come close to Dean, her neck titled and right onto his neck. No.

 No, this isn’t time for him. He’s not supposed to die tonight, not like this. He can’t. 

Sam and Stevie’s voices echo through the alley and gets louder as they stand behind Dean in shock. Within seconds, you see him holding up his hand with the syringe, injecting her with the dead man’s blood. 

“Dean!” Sam yells, running to his brother. 

The vampire falls the ground and Dean starts breathing heavily, relieved that the vampire is knocked out on the ground. Sam and Stevie stand by him with questionable looks on their faces, pausing to make sure he’s alright. 

“What?” 

“Cutting it a little close, don’t ya think?” Sam asks as his eyes widen in confusion and a hint of panic.

“Ah,” his voice is still breathy, “that’s just chum in the water. Worked, didn’t it?” 

Stevie rolls her eyes and makes her way over to you and the guy on the floor. Squatting down she places a hand on your shoulder and checks for any bite marks. 

“You’re okay.”

You nod and tilt you head at the man. 

“I’ll call an ambulance now.” Stevie says and takes out her phone. 

Dean’s laughing and you stare him down as if he was acting like a mad man. He looks down at the vampire then at you. He catches your eyes and winces just a bit, feeling like he might’ve pissed you off or something. 

He’s picks up the blade from the ground and walks over to you, lending a hand. You’re cursing to yourself and to Dean, but he’s not noticing. You reach out to grab his empty hand and he helps you up. You’re gripping onto his jacket, pulling him into a tight hug. He freezes, but before he can even respond to the hug, you’re shoving him back slapping him in the chest with all your strength. 

“Do you want to die?” You ask. “Is that it? What the hell was that!” 

“Oh come on! I’m fine.”

“We’re supposed to be working together, watching each others backs. That was the complete opposite!” 

“She was going to bite you!” He yells back. “I did what I needed to do.” 

Dean steps forward but you inch back. You’re pissed, but now isn’t the time for another fight. 

“Look, let’s just fucking tie her up and get to the bottom of this shit. I’m wet, exhausted and just wanna kill some vamps!” 

The three of them are just standing there watching you as you curse, wiping your bloody hands on your jeans. Turning around from them, you’re bending down and hold your hand over the man’s chest man. Although he’s passed out, you whisper in assurance that he’ll get the help he needs. 

The brothers quickly grab the vampire and tie her arms together, as all of you start walking away further into the alley and to an abandoned motel not too far. As Dean and Sam are interrogating the vampire, Lucy, Stevie and you are outside on watch just in case anyone comes by and starts questioning the boys and what they’re doing inside the musty motel room. 

Just outside in the shivering upstate weather, it stays silent between you and Stevie. She’s casually smoking a cigarette which you constantly nag her about the day she was old enough to buy a pack. Rolling your eyes at the smell you’re moving off the wall, putting some distance between you and her. 

“Look,” Stevie begins, “I know you haven’t seen Dean since he kicked us to the curb, but what the hell was that back there? Getting mad at Dean. I know it was a dumb move by him to literally put his neck out in the open, but he’s a damn Winchester.” 

You’re not looking at her and she can tell you’re trying to avoid the topic. She flicks her cigarette to the ground, stomping her boot right on top of it and closes the distance you. 

She says your name, “I understand all the tension and not wanting to admit things. But is there something you’re not telling me?” 

Biting your lip in contemplation, you’re furrowing your brows as you stare at your sister. You’re not sure how to respond to any of that, not wanting to discuss the deal Dean made or the feelings you’ve been carrying for almost your entire life. But you can’t lie to Stevie. You never had to, or wanted to so now was no different. If everyone else but her was filled in on Dean’s problem, then why can’t Stevie? You’re all family, she should know. 

Shaking your head as you turn to her, your eyes start prickling with tears. 

“You know all about demons now, don’t you?”

“Yes, why?” Stevie perks up. 

“So then you know people, hunters make deals with them?” Stevie nods her head. “Turns out Dean made a deal not too long ago and his time is running out.” 

“So that’s why he let us stay with them?” 

You’re shrug in response. 

“Dick.” Stevie rolls her eyes. “What a dumbass.” You can tell she’s trying to mask her sadness with insults directed at Dean. He was always someone who looked out for her as if he had another younger sibling to watch out for. If you needed time alone, he would watch Stevie and Sam and make sure they weren’t getting themselves in trouble at school. 

“His time is running out, how long does he have?” 

“Sam said a year.” 

“When is that year up?” 

“I’m not sure, but I’m beginning to worry that it’s almost up. I can feel it even though I don’t want to.” 

Stevie wraps her arm around yours and leans her head on your shoulder. 

“We’re here...I stuck around because he told me he wanted to make things up to me, to us for pushing us away. I just feel like he’s only doing it because death’s about to knock on baby’s door.” 

Her head lifts off from your shoulder to stare at you. 

“Hey, don’t talk like that. You and me both know how he feels about you, Sam sees it too. Take it from Dean and don’t let this deal ruin anything. We’ll take it day by day and we’ll be there for them. Figure it out all together, like we used to.” 

You squeeze her arm and sigh in sadness. 

“Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you Stevie.”

The two of you hear noises coming from behind you and notice that the door is opening, catching your attention. Stevie and you detach and see Sam walking out of the door with a dejected expression playing on his face. 

“What went on in there?” You ask Sam as he walks out the door. 

“She got turned by vampire blood. Met a dude named Dixon back at some club.” 

“Let me guess, he spiked her drink?” Stevie asks and Sam nods. “Disgusting.”

“She didn’t know what she was doing.” 

“The job is rough Sam, you know that.” 

“I know.” He shrugs as Dean walks out. “I know.”

“What happened?” 

“She’s dead.” Dean responds as he walks pass everyone and to the impala. “We’re off to a club!” 

You turn back to Sam and Stevie in disbelief and scoff, “is he joking right now?”

Sam was filling you and your sister in about how Dean wasn’t joking about going to a club. It’s named Spider and it was where the woman said she was drugged by a man. And that’s who you were all on the look out for. Dixon, a possible leader of the nest he’s been creating, or trying to create and failing miserably. 

Tonight’s one of the longest nights you had in a while. The exhaustion is gnawing at your body just longing for sleep and a quick break. Everything on your mind is catching up to you, your anger about the deal and the pondering sadness about potentially losing him. Your mind is starting to take you to how Dean might be feeling about it himself too. Then it hits you. Dean has always been closed off, sometimes opening up to you in the past. But now? It’s different and your anxiety was beginning to soar even further than it was before.

-

TAGLIST (if you wanna be added just let me know and I’ll add you to future chapters!!!):

@akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @canonboobs

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 21-25

almost halfway done lads how we feelin'

episode 21: the red glow

ah yes barry

"i'm alphonse elric!!!!!" yes u r baby!!!

who just popped over the wall

scar im assuming

"i kill therefore i am".....barry spouting descartes rn

it was scar haha

um

hi greed

thought i saw you earlier

WHY DID THEY DRAW HIS ARMS THAT LONG

ope he found the chimera crew...

jerry jewell's evil laugh gets me every time lmao he's so great

ed has deep philosophical talks bro

also ed is chaotic but his personal morals are unshakeable

who are these prison guards gonna release

oh hey kimblee

oh hey squad

ed take out ur pokeball

um wth is that

OH MY GOD TUCKER WHAT

EW

I THOUGHT IT WAS A GIANT YODA OR A SWAMP MONSTER

he looks FUCKKEDDDD

bro of all the things i was not expecting him

oof ishval flashbacks

young scar why is your hair brown

why is it white now

WHY IS HE NAKED

whos her

lust 1.0 im assuming

ew omg tucker is literally so fuckin nasty lookin idk

idk why but he's worse than rod reiss titan for me

wait a damn minute

wait a damn fucking minute

goddamnit

what is GOIN ON

i need tucker to stop whispering he sounds like fucking voldemort on the back of quirrells head

jesus

episode 22: created human

hughes' pajamas look like armin's futon from aot junior high

the bad place???? was that greed's prison gluttony was lookin at?

im still shook af over tucker and tbh its been like 24 hours since i watched episode 21

STOP WHISPERING TUCKER

driving me up a wall

my poor son looks so tired :(

those moral principles at it again

bradley.......

ewww the way tucker walks STOP

hi envy!!!!!

so all of those prisoner guys gonna get flattened by some alchemy

hey kimblee!!!

so did greed escape with the homies???? cause i feel like he would have made his presence known already....

i feel like im missing a lot because im a ding dong

musty prison kimblee is kinda...hot....physically speaking..oops..personality wise obviously there's MUCH to work on

so envy knows hohenheim

ED BABY

he won't do it

oh no alphonse

oh god memory implants

al's identity crisis CONTINUES

they wanna become humans??? huh....doesnt really make sense for their characters...(maybe envy but more on that at 11)

is ed gonna kill these guys for al

some1!!!!!! hold!!!!! me!!!! im so stressed

is he pretending to do it and he's got another plan up his sleeve!!!!????

honestly he's so depressed i cant even tell

those unshakable moral principles at work again i see

the red water can turn ed into a god???? wtf ed doesnt want to be a god he wants to punch god

oh theres the greed squad! i found them!!! is kimblee joining up with them

maria girly!!!!!!!

THE HOMUNCULI IN THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS I--

who's the lady. i need 2 know.

episode 23: fullmetal heart

alphonse is destroyed again

poor kid

"edward sir" brosh pls!!!

oh excuse me--- ***Bloch

The Ross Slap™

winry <3

pinako takes no prisoners

ed didnt you JUST tell brosh and ross they might be right that you needed to trust adults with more shit and now youre blowing off hughes

ed's DRAWINGS im-

hi sig hi izumi!!!

al is so sad over there in that corner

poor baby son

sometimes i feel like hughes and mustang are ed and al's divorced dads

the little arakawa avatar cows in the back im CRYING!!!!!!!

“bean”

snappy al

ooffffffff

omg hughes plz

elicia is precious though we love her

"dad's friend the bookworm" omg sheska

awwww gracia made edward a cake!!!!!!!

god catch me cryin in the club

CONGRATULATIONS

"whatever" al im crying he's so sad

AL MADE BROSH OR WHOEVER CARRY HIS DESTROYED ARMOR TO THE ROOF IM ACTUALLY YELLING

"you goof"

yes winry you are correct boy is a goof

sir you are being so dramatic

give that baby a hug

"so called brother"

so we all know that was a knife through the heart for ed

al just jumped off a FUCKING ROOF and ED TRIED TO FOLLOW

so im crying

i liked this better when they HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT AL'S FEARS AND MADE THE FUCK UP

episode 24: bonding memories

guess we're gonna play w my emotions again

sometimes like....one bit characters talk...like villager b ya know? and im like who are you i know that voice

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again

and barry for some reason

aww poor al

youre real you are!!!!!!

i just feel like people would know people that wear sunglasses in the rain would be ishvalan

but what do i know

obviously they dont have the white hair thing in this version

poor ed is so sad

these boys need a hug 

let me just *pulls out adoption papers*

well if scar doesnt have queen mei to adopt in 03, he’s got this little toothless boy

dont lie al you do care

ew i dont like her

the drama of this boy

so the nasty military has come to ruin some lives again part 2

apparently they are *mercenaries??? excuse me

i have some questions regarding this kid’s mom

well you know i can see why this kid feels this way about his mom

it does look like she ran off...

al and scar dream team up

HEY ED!!! HEY WINRY!!!

bout time

yall gonna have this talk now????

barry STOPPPPPP

brotherhood barry is the true king there i said it

damn scar you baddie

barry like....you already knew him

anyway

WHAT THE HELL

NO RICKKK!!!!!!

someone save this boy!!!!

oh good his mom “saved” him

ah damn thats pretty tragic

she didnt know they were right in front of her

ow

well my questions were answered

so she attacks with grape fanta. thats one way to do it

ed looks like such an angry gremlin right now this is a heartwarming moment sir please

why are ed and scar being so civil right now this is so weird

bye scar

we’ll see him again

see you later scar

episode 25: words of farewell

maes who let you buy that awful pink suit 

gracia please it better not have been you

mustang ew please

dont open the door lookin like that

what the hell are you doing in here 

so hughes WASNT in ishval here?

i think that takes a lot away from his character but anyway

bradley hangs around like a creep at every possible instant

why would bradley care about ishvalan refugees like hughes cmon

“unspeakable crimes” BRADLEY YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK

juliet douglas is this lady’s name

only took me 1000 episodes to figure that out

ED AND AL??? NOT DEALING WITH DANGEROUS THINGS??????? dont make me laugh assholes theyre lying thru their teeth

izumi time lets go

wow we’re still going to rush valley? wasnt really expecting that tbh

elicia i LOVE you!!!!!

ew kimblee “hi”

how did he lightning himself like that

if i were ishvalan i would not go to the south....yet ANOTHER war torn region of amestris but ok

okay

an amestrian desert biker gang rolled up to wreak havoc

HUGHES AHAHAHA 

tbh i wouldnt want to tell roy anything either stupid bitch

anyway

um why do i feel like its hughes’ death episode

he would not be shown tucking elicia in to bed otherwise 

please im not ready to be hurt again

oh no

yeah he just learned something about our girl juliet

ive been waiting for this information 

he’s gonna die before we learn anything helpful

yupppppp

hey lust figured you’d show up sooner or later

i too wish i could look that sexy pulling a kunai out of my forehead

SLOTH????????

did girly just say SLOTH

i- nothing about her seems particularly slothy but ok

u know what!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENVY HEYYY

DUMBASS ROY JUST HAAAAAD TO LEAVE

haha famous last words

oof it hurts every time

not the FUNERAL scene no!

time for me to go 

peace out homies im dead inside

yes my brigadier general 

NOT THE RAIN

COME ONNNNNN

hughes is sneezing six feet under

was ed supposed to be looking at hughes’ ghost

um....right

[vagrantblvrd]

Can I get some Freewood love with the not!fic prompts?

Friend, omg, yes!

I was thinking about various ideas for these two and was blanking on something that didn’t fizzle out after the first bit?

But I woke up to snow this morning (we usually don’t see a lot of it where I live) and I was like !!!

Because, look, okay. Those snowed in fic tropes that often go hand in hand with a ~remote cabin?

But also I’ve been thinking a lot about bounty hunter-y AUs lately. (I blame all the cheesy movies/tv shows I grew up on).

SO.

FAHC-ish AU where Ryan starts out as this bounty hunter-ish guy. Works with Michael after there was a Situation that amounts to your typical buddy cop kind of deal?

(Loose cannon/idiot Ryan who ended up in the business after some shenanigans that’s part of his Tragic Backstory and somewhat less of a loose cannon Michael who was just tracking down this asshole who owed him money and got dragged into the whole thing and realized he wasn’t bad at it/kind of liked the work? And then like. They started a business together because that’s what happened in a lot of those terribad movies/tv shows I watched I guess?)

ANYWAY.

Bounty hunter Ryan who’s gaining a reputation for being a creepy bastard – that sense of humor of his and jokes that don’t land right with certain audiences. Also, doesn’t talk a lot on jobs because as Michael’s pointed out flubbing his words makes him look like a dumbass? (More of one, anyway.)

So he channels the Cool Guys from terribad 80s movies and such when he’s working, and there was that time the masks came into play because Bigger Baddies and it was a panic!moment and there was a mask kiosk right there, it’s not like he fucking planned it, Michael. (Being the nerd he is, though, he immediately gravitated towards the skull mask and now it’s part of his aesthetic. Because reasons.)

Michael’s back in Los Santos dealing with paperwork and recovering from their last job – took a nasty spill off a low roof and sprained his ankle/fractured something/whatever works as a legit Plot Reason for him not going with Ryan on this latest job.

Hacker who got into stuff he shouldn’t have – businessman or politician or other Upstanding Citizen who has all these Rumors floating around them that went to Ryan and Michael about their problem.

Offering them a shit-ton of money to bring this hacker in, no questions asked and all. Best not to, really, because the little weasel is just full of lies and would say anything to save their skin. Honestly, just trust the businessman/politician explicitly and ignore the hacker’s lies and it’ll all be fine.

(Yeah, not sketchy at all, but the guy’s got some muscle-bound goons with him and they’re definitely the kind who’d have no problems killing a couple of nobodies like Ryan and Michael and what pleasure it will be to do business with them, yes indeedy)

Anyway.

Of course this asshole hacker is Gavin and of course he went digging into stuff he shouldn’t have and oh, God, he should have taken Dan up on the offer to visit him earlier.

Now he’s being chased all over the place by this lunatic in the leather jacket and nothing he does seems to slow him down for long.

Traps and lies and doubling back and hiding and whatever else that ends up with them up in the mountains somehow? Gavin running to this little town – supposed to be able to find a small airport nearby and a plane he could ~borrow to put some space between himself and all these bastards in Los Santos only to find out it was all in vain.

The plane he was told about rusting away, bullet holes all along the fuselage and ripping through one wing and he doesn’t know what happened here, but it can’t have been pleasant.

And then Ryan showing up, all Scary Spooky with his stupid everything (no mask because it really was a one time thing, why won’t you drop it, Michael?) and the piece of junk car Gavin stole to get out there and this ridiculous ~chase up a winding mountain road.

Up high enough for there to be snow, a light dusting of it on the ground and too focused on not dying to notice the storm about to hit, and anyway, anyway.

The car dies halfway up the mountain and Gavin makes a go of it on foot for a bit. Remembers seeing a cabin or such on a map he looked at way earlier, or maybe a gas station attendant mentioned it at some point, whichever.

He gets a fair distance away, Ryan bitching as he gives chase and at the start of this whole merry chase Gavin was !!! but as things went on and Ryan stumbled/fumbled along behind him grumbling and complaining and such he’s more ??? because who the hell is this guy?

Not like the other people this businessman/politician sent after him – those were more likely to just kill him and bring his body in, real unpleasant bastards, but this guy?

Gavin doesn’t even know.

They’ve had those intense face-to-face confrontations that could have gone Badly a time or two, always interrupted by some unsuspecting passerby or stray jumping out of hiding to startle them enough for Gavin to slip away.

Just enough for Gavin to wonder if maybe this one won’t put a bullet in him so he can’t run – one of the others tried that and thank God Gavin stopped by an Ammu-nation before hand to grab some body armor under his clothes or he’d be very, very dead, wouldn’t he?

Make him curious, because for all the inconveniences and such Gavin tosses his way, all the angry yelling and bitching and complaining Gavin catches wind of? He hasn’t decided to hell with it and shot Gavin when he had the chance. (Or worse, because wow there are all these ways he could have killed Gavin by now.)

Anyhow, Gavin’s still running, yes, but he’s not flat-out terrified the way he was at the start. All the traps and whatever else he threw at Ryan intending to slow him down, but no real concern about any injuries that might be inflicted in the process.

Now Gavin finds himself dismissing things that might do serious damage to Ryan even if means Gavin could actually escape. (Stupid, stupid, stupid, because no way to know if he’s right about Ryan or if he’s just looking to collect on a bigger payday for bringing Gavin in alive, but yes.)

And then!

In their run through the woods or whatever is taking place, Gavin has to cross this rickety bridge over a river and is terrified the whole time it’ll give way under his weight, but by some miracle it doesn’t. He gets across just fine, and is almost out of sight when Ryan comes charging across, and of course that’s when the damn thing gives up the ghost.

Gavin pulled up short by Ryan’s startled yelp, turning around just in time to see him swept away by the current and almost, almost taking the opportunity to get the hell away.

But, no.

Because of course he damns himself for being an idiot, a fool, and runs along the river bank after Ryan. Keeps track of him as he pelts along until there’s a safe(ish) spot for him to fish Ryan out, pull him to solid ground.

Ryan who’s been doing his best not to drown, trying to remember all the things you’re supposed to do in that kind of situation and certain he’s going to die out here and Michael will bitch about how fucking stupid he was for the rest of his life, because of course he would.

And then there are hands grabbing at him and he’s being pulled out of the water and onto land and he gets a glimpse of a too-familiar face (annoying as hell and goddamn Ryan hates the little shit so much) before he passes out.

Wakes up who knows how much later in this dusty, rickety old cabin in the middle of nowhere freezing his ass off and also kind of without the clothes he was wearing earlier?

Musty blanket and jacket he doesn’t recognize thrown over him and someone (with an accent) muttering to themselves as they struggle to start a fire and what the hell happened?

He must say something or make too much noise while getting his bearings because the hacker whips around clutching a sad little book of matches in his hand and looking like a trapped animal as he watches Ryan nervously.

“Ah, hello,” the hacker says with this awkward little laugh. “You’re awake?”

And then, you know.

Ryan finding out the hacker dragged Ryan all the way up here just as the snowstorm hit and did what he could to warm him up. Was just starting to work at getting a fire started to warm things up faster when Ryan woke up and looks like they’re going to be stuck up here for a while, you know?Ryan half-frozen and clearly in no shape to hike down the mountain even if the storm wasn’t shaping up to be a bastard of a storm. (Supposed to last a couple of days, dump a significant amount of snow and no one in their right might would be out in it.)

And Gavin is still staring at him warily, keeps out of arm’s reach and skittish as hell and with the flickering light from the lantern Gavin managed to light Ryan can see how tired he looks?

Exhausted and run ragged (literally) and just as beat up after the last however long he’s been on the run. (Way before Ryan and Michael got pulled into things, that’s for damn sure.)

“Oh,” Gavin says, and fishes Ryan’s phone out of his pocket. “Michael wanted you to call him back when you woke up.”

Which.

What.

Gavin shrugs and explains that after he ~borrowed Ryan’s phone off him earlier that day, the day before in one of their face-to-face confrontations Michael called it expecting to get Ryan.

Turns out he’d been doing some Investigating, talked to a hacker buddy of a friend of his (Matt and Jeremy, respectively) and found out the asshole businessman/politician who hired them didn’t tell them everything.

That oh, hey, maybe it would be a good idea to keep Gavin alive and meet back in Los Santos somewhere to discuss what their next move was because they’re pretty much guaranteed to end up dead if they don’t. (The businessman/politician intending to double-cross them and either get them thrown in jail or outright killed rather than risk loose threads and such. What with that being the case with all the others they sent after Gavin and just. Yeah.)

And of course Gavin was like, ??? and talked to Michael about things and they’ve got this truce/understanding thing going on and Michael telling him Ryan’s a stubborn fuck and it might take a while for him to come around. (Also, don’t let the idiot die if at all possible.)

Gavin wary of a trap, but also this tiny grain of hope maybe things wouldn’t end with him dead, and then the bridge and the river and that moment of hesitation he feels guilty/ashamed of as he hands back Ryan’s phone.

Battery’s almost dead and there’s a sliver of a signal up this high/remote location, but the fact Gavin gave it back is…promising?

Not exactly trust but pretty damn close, and Ryan calls Michael and isn’t sure if the asshole hears him or what, but he tells him about their current situation and a place they could meet in a few days before it completely cuts off/dies and then, well.

Then it’s him and Gavin and this cabin in the middle of nowhere and ALL the huddling for warmth and sharing stories and FEELINGs.

Soft looks when Gavin falls asleep somewhere in there, exhausted as hell and the kind of trust/nothing left to do so in Ryan’s presence after everything they’ve been through.

Usual romcom stuff and when the weather clears and they make their way down the mountain to meet up with Gavin run into some baddies and have to fight their way free.

Another day or so to get to the meeting spot with Michael – small town nearby and this abandoned gas station or something like that on the outskirts.

So of course the asshole businessman/politician and his musclebound goons show up. There’s all these veiled/not-so-veiled threats thrown Ryan’s way when it’s obvious he Knows Too Much.

But maybe, the asshole says. There’s a way out of this for Ryan, because the asshole businessman/politician could use resourceful people like Ryan and Michael. Just let him have Gavin and keep his secrets and he and Michael could be looking at a lucrative job offer, if Ryan knows what he means.

Gavin getting all twitchy and fidgety because it’s a good deal, and really, they’re not friends, him and Ryan and Ryan would get to live. (He wouldn’t blame Ryan at all for accepting the offer, maybe tells him with this odd little smile it’s a good deal, you know? Ryan would be a fool to turn it down.)

Ryan watching Gavin who won’t meet his eyes and of course he’s going to tell the asshole businessman/politician to go to hell – even if he hadn’t caught feelings for Gavin he would have – but Gavin seems to think he won’t, and that’s just.

Ryan doesn’t know, really, because one of the goons gets impatient and goes for Gavin and Ryan just reacts – no conscious thought to it at all – and the goon’s on the ground howling about the knife in his leg and Ryan sweeping Gavin behind him before the shooting starts.

They get pinned down and have that Intense Eye Contact Moment where they’re sure they’re about to die and ~confess their love?

But that’s when Michael and Jeremy barrel on in, driving one of Jeremy’s ridiculous Rimmy Tim-ified vehicles and maybe hitting a goon or two along the way.

More shooting and yelling, but this time the odds are more in Ryan and Gavin’s favor and by the time the smoke clears the asshole businessman/politician’s escaped and the goons he left behind are super dead.

Also, the realization they’re all fucked now, because the asshole businessman/politician is definitely going to spin things to make them the villains of the story and him as the Upstanding Citizen most people know him as and, wow, okay, not cool?

But whatever because Ryan and Gavin are being totally obvious about their mutual feelings to the point Jeremy who doesn’t even know them can see it. (And he’s an idiot, as Michael can attest to. Like. Christ, it took forever for Jeremy to realize Michael was flirting with him and they were living together for months before the asshole caught on to the fact they were dating??? Like fucking Christ, what is Michael’s life???)

They end up having to ~go underground in Los Santos to avoid being murderized by various peoples, and people think they’re just another gang/crew in the city so why the hell not live it up, or something.

Hitting back at the businessman/politician by going after his ~unsavory allies and from the outside it looks like any other criminal squabbles, you know?

Rimmy Tim was a joke, but it becomes Jeremy’s Thing. Mogar happens when Michael picks up the leather jacket with the snarling wolf’s head at a thrift shop and someone asks him a dumb question and things go from there.

Gavin is just. He makes the most of being a little shit, and everyone despairs of the day he and Matt meet properly because oh, God, no.

Ryan embraces the stupid skull mask because Michael still won’t leave it alone (and also keeps people from recognizing him). Gavin’s the one with the idea for the face paint, some stupid joke that suddenly wasn’t one day.

(And oh God. Gavin being the one to do his face paint that first time, before they got their shit together and the intimacy of being that close to one another and touching Ryan’s face? Getting him to turn his head for a better angle to work with using a light press of his fingers and sudden  awareness of everything about something like that and FEELINGS and maybe, maybe, that’s the first time they kiss?

OR.

Some awkward throat clearing and eyes being averted with all the !!! of realizing the oh, no he’s hot thing is NOT going to go away anytime soon, what do???)

At some point Geoff and Jack and the people they stole away from Burnie and the Roosters happen and they join forces because wouldn’t you know it? Part of the reason Geoff and Jack and everyone they brought with them are even in Los Santos has to do with the asshole businessman/politician.

Bastard making a grab for Rooster-held territory and/or interests to the point they felt they needed more of a presence in the city, which is where the Fake AH Crew comes in.

And then just.

A lot of shenanigans and assholes getting along too fucking well for anyone’s peace of mind?

Also, also.

Ryan and Gavin finally getting their shit together and smooching the fuck out of each other. (Maybe there’s one close call too many, or Pretend Married for a job, or just. Absent-minded kiss and then the !!! and following panic before they’re like.

WAIT.

Realize they’re basically an old married couple at this point and are like >:((((((((((((( at all the time they wasted when they could have been smooching and so on instead and decide to make up for it.

(The others go from being amused to exasperated to annoyed as fuck in quick succession because goddamn they’re the worst, okay. Sappy motherfuckers who are also assholes and do what they can to make everyone’s life a misery, sometimes even intentionally.)

[xybern]

sasuke was literally like the worst little bitch friend but go off i guess

The only positive to either of these shows not ending in a gay romance, is that Naruto and Sherlock show a friendship can have a stronger bond than a romance or even a marriage.

[birdhaslostit]

Ok so I was on campus today (in Texas, which isn’t a super crucial detail, but it does give a little context) and this psychotic preacher dude was shouting some ridiculous shit in front of the library. (Crowd responses are included in parentheses)

Fauci and COVID being demons (???) and that I was also possessed by a demon

The town being “unclean and dirty/full of sinners”

“Kobe, John Lennon, Tupac, and Freddy Mercury are all in hell” (Hell yeah I want to go there, that sounds dope. Sign me up)

“Aren’t you all glad you weren’t aborted?” (NO! You picked the wrong generation– bitch we’re Gen Z, we ALL want to die)

“You’re all SINNERS” *pointing at us and waggling his fingers like Emperor Palpatine’s lightning hands*

“I am a VETERAN” (Of what, Vietnam?) “I was in the Coast Guard!” (Dude that’s objectively the lamest branch of the military, imagine bragging about being in the Coast Guard.) “I WAS IN OPERATION DESERT STORM”

“GOD SAYS-“ (WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT YOUR SHOES? THEY LOOK MUSTY BRO)

The Homosexuals Going To Hell and all that jazz with EXTREME emphasis

Naturally, with my lack of filter, I turn to the group of fellow Gays next to me who are also Witnessing This Shit and go “What does he think this town is, Queers R Us?”

Literally that’s the best joke I’ve ever made on the spot. I can’t top it, there’s nowhere to go from here but down. I’m done being funny bc I can’t do any better than that.

Also, some girl stole his sign that he was carrying around and ran a good 100 yards before he caught up to her and took the sign back. (I would die for her.) As the dude was walking back with it, a chorus of girls next to me started going “Awwwww, big boy got his boy boy sign taken fwom him? Is big boy going home in his big boy twuck because he has a small peepee? Awwww, so sad fow himmmm, big boy gonna go home to cwyyyy” and I was in fucking TEARS laughing