#I'm pretty sure there is only one person I sent this exact version to

[chuliann]

if you receive this, you make somebody happy! if you want you can send this message to some of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. if you get one back, even better! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (But no pressure! ^^)

Asks was not open so... I hope it's okay. ^^

☺️🫶💖

💗💞💐

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice

VA! MC x OM! Characters

"Hey Levi, any new game recommendations for me? I just finished the last lot of books Satan suggested." You asked, plopping down your head on his shoulder to look at his screen.

"M-MC! You have to warn me before you do such things!" He muttered, his ears turning red as he scrolled some webpages pages for you. "But okay yeah these are the new games that are out recently... see anything you like?"

"Oh my God! It's out it's out!" You pointed excitedly at the screen. "Pretty Little Things is out! Finally!! I was dying to tell you all about it!"

Levi visibly stiffened up. "You-you were waiting for this particular game to come out? Are you sure it's not another game with a similar sounding name?"

"Nah uh this is the exact same one. Look up the list of voice actors in this game!"

"WHAT?! MC WHY IS YOUR NAME IN HERE?????"

"Yes! This was the new part-time job I couldn't tell you about since it was still in production! Im so glad you can just play it now!"

"...it's uh ready for download on all platforms already...so which character did voice?"

"Oh spoiler alert, my character is the only one that doesn't have a name, you have assign me one, the same way you name yourself. They even designed the characters to resemble all the VA's and add in some of their personalities, isn't that sweet?"

"Hahaha y-yeah definitely sweet! I'll be sure to check it out soon!"

"Great! Lemme know what you think of the game okay?!" You squeezed him in a small hug before you left.

Later in the Demon Brothers only group chat:

Levi: Code Red! Code Red! ASHSKSHSKSKSJJSKKS

Mammon: WHAT WHAT THAT MEANS AN MC RELATED EMERGENCY RIGHT??

Asmo: OMG are they OKAY?? Should I go check up on them in their room!?!

Satan: I'm already on my way.

Mammon: NOT BEFORE ME YOU'RE NOT!

Belphie: Is MC hurt in anyway?

Beel: Did they pass out from hunger?! I can bring them emergency snacks right away

Lucifer: Can you lot not lose your minds everytime MC is mentioned? Pathetic. Levi, calm down and tell us what's wrong.

Beel: But Lucifer I just saw you hurrying up the stairs to MC's room too...

Satan: Typical Lucifer. By the way, MC is perfectly fine, happy even. Levi what are you on about?

Mammon: Yeah MC can't stop smiling! It's a good thing that happened, you idiot! Why would you scare us like that?

Asmo: Omg apparently MC voice acted in a new game! Levi I need you to download it for me ASAP please!

Beel: Me too, please.

Belphie: Me three.

Lucifer: I've already done it, you all can do it yourselves if you could do your own work for once.

Satan: Oh shut up, MC just did it for you right now as they did it for me.

Levi: It's a Dating Simulator. With multiple H-rated DLC endings. And MC is one of the dateables.

...

Levi: Hello?!! Did you guys not see my message?!

Levi: Seriously no reaction?! You guys aren't freaked out by this?!?

Beel: I just heard several doors opening and closing at once.

Asmo: Oh come Levi, I think you already know what our reaction is Levi ♥️ How can we possibly hold in our excitement after such a news!?

Levi: Are you all downloading the game together?!!! Y'all are hogging the bandwidth too much, my download speed has gone way down!!

Simeon: Hey

Simeon: I heard some demons in a cafe, raving about a game where MC plays one of the main characters?

Solomon: Indeed MC just sent us all a link right now.

Simeon: Oh is that so? I'll get Luke to help me download it after he's done with his.

Levi: Luke is playing it too?! I don't think it's appropriate given it's certain hidden endings!!

Barbatos: MC already made sure of it. He only has access to the sibling and friendship routes. It's a special version they added for all ages.

Diavolo: It already has downloads in the ten thousands. I'm really glad to see how MC is beloved by Devildom.

Levi: Are NONE of you affected by the fact that there are erotic routes with MC's VOICE?!!

Solomon: Oh I personally cannot wait hear my adorable apprentice's performance.

Barbatos: Ahem. I'd rather not comment on it.

Simeon: Same.

Diavolo: Same.

Levi: Sigh. We really are just a helpless lot at the mercy of MC.

To be continued...

[blueteller]

Hello, Blueteller-nim! I just want to ask what's happening rn in tcf part 2? Who are the new gods that have been introduced (and how many of those newly introduced gods became Cale's enemies)? How many hunters Cale already defeated (and how many more should he defeat)? Is there any news about the Fake Hilsman? Did Cale adopted a new kid? (Pls say yes I want him to adopt more lol)

Hi! I believe this exact question was sent to me before? Sorry it took me so long to reply! Every time I started writing, new lore got dropped and I ended up re-writing this reply from scratch. There's a lot to cover, so brace yourself for tons of SPOILERS

I made a post about TCF gods once already, but turns out, parts of it are outdated! Some new information got revealed that directly contradicts my old assumptions about several of them. But we'll get to it.

First of all, the Hunter families. The plot of Part 2 so far consists of Cale going to different dimensions to deal with them.

So there were originally seven, but by current time there were only five left to deal with. Let's quickly run by each of them one by one.

Black Bloods; residents of the planet Xiaolen – specifically Xiaolen 1 – named Huayans (Fayence in the first raw translations, just in case you've seen that version before), led by Redok. They were human Black Mages who specialized in "White Magic", meaning their variant of Black Magic was more powerful and it looked white. Pretty neat. They flooded Xiaolen with dead mana in order to sacrifice the world and gather its energy called "Karma". Still little detail on how Karma works exactly, but we know it can be gathered by either killing or saving tons of people – guess which method the Hunters use. Cale got a dramatic fire power boost because of some universal balance rules, and defeated them pretty easily. (Xiaolen citizens made Cale a statue in his honor, much to his despair lol)

Blue Bloods; residents of Central Plains, a pretty young world from what we know. They were known as the Blood Cult, lead by a female leader called Blood Demon. They created hundreds of thousands of zombies called Jiangshi and planned to cause a 3-way civil war in order to do the same thing Black Bloods were trying to do. Cale got a water power upgrade because of a dead Dragon and defeated a tsunami with a tsunami and got a splitting headache because of some third eye mumbo jumbo – long story. They were a little harder to defeat than Black Bloods, but they managed in the end. Choi Han got to personally slay the Blood Demon. (Central Plains citizens turned Cale into a folk story/legend and apparently there's already a cult for him hahaha)

Purple Bloods; resident of Aipotu – who consists entirely of Dragons and Dragon-bloods, led by Dragon Lord Neo (yes I'm pretty sure the name is a Matrix reference – love the irony of it so much). Purple Blood's specialty was getting to "inheriting" Dragon powers via some very questionable blood transfusions and heart transplants. Nasty stuff. Neo's Attribute was time, or something quite similar to it, and he used his time powers to mess up Aipotu and the World Tree, intending to transfer himself and all his followers/slaves into a Virtual Reality the Hunters planned to make their own new world. Cale had to use Instant to defeat Neo, turning his own broken plate into dust and eating it to survive (VERY questionable method, Cale!!). Dragon Half-Blood also had to sacrifice himself so Cale set him up as an NPC in the Virtual World and he gets to be reborn from an egg as a legit Half-Dragon named Eden Miru. These has been the most recent events in the story (also Aipotu residents built Cale a church under Clopeh and named it Five Colored Light religion HAHAHAHA). Speaking of Virtual Reality…

Transparent Bloods; residents of Earth 3 – the world where Anh Roh Man lives, the guy who made Alberu's Taerang; leader unknown so far. Apparently ARM's parents are the one who made the Virtual Reality, and the Hunters bought/stole it (and named it "Raising My Very Own Precious Omnipotent God!"??? Which is just hilarious…) So the game wasn't originally designed by them. That matters a lot, because it seems like not only VR is sentient like every other world so far, it has even created an AI specifically against the Hunters and their influence. It seems that VR is, in fact, a real world, capable of containing real people and their souls. So Cale will definitely be heading there next to save it from Transparent Bloods. But before we get to them…

Five-Colored Bloods; no apparent residence, but I have a suspicion… We found out very recently their leader is called the "Wanderer King". Which just screams to me of the whole "Mercenary King" invented by the White Star – the exact same brand of arrogance, really. Their specialty seems to be collecting and transferring power; that's how Dragon Lord Neo was able to get so much power to influence an entire world and the World Tree. They will be a pain to deal with, because they seem to be allied both with certain gods and demons. Which is why, btw, in the most recent chapters Cale went to the freaking Demon Realm. But more on that in a bit~!

White Bloods; all we know about them is from Choi Jung Gun in Sealed God's Temple Test of Sloth. To directly quote him, "The White Blood family betrayed the Hunters and escaped!" (chapter 730) – which I actually mixed up in the past, my bad; I thought it was the Red Blood family that betrayed them and escaped. Speaking of which:

Red Bloods; also known as Thames, last known member being Jour Thames (or is it Drew Thames in the EAP translation? Whatever, I prefer Jour…) and the "Fake Hilsman" who stole Cale's retirement fund. Judging from Jour mentioning her brother when Cale got the Annual Rings of Life Ancient Power, I think it's safe to assume it's that guy. CJG said to Cale that " The Red Blood family perished a long time ago", but he also said that "The Red Blood did not perish", so I think they also betrayed the Hunters and faked their death.

If you're still with me after ALL of that exposition, let me now actually address the actual question: the gods involved in the plot of in Part 2.

There are 5 gods we must talk about, and why I need the Hunter families context first will become clear in a moment.

God of Balance; apparently female, wears heels, and approaches people from behind for intimidation. I'd call her the "gentle in disposition yet extremely scary" grandma type. Basically forcefully summoned Cale to meet her after defeating the Blue Bloods on Central Plains (Cale did not see her face) and told/threatened Cale that he should become a god. One of the "Five Ancient Gods", which seem to be one of the if not THE oldest Gods around who did not retire yet for some reason. Seems like a real piece of work, though doesn't seem evil? More like a strict law enforced or corrupt politician. She did beat up the God of Death over giving Cale the dimension-transporting mirror Divine Item that one time. She also wrote a rulebook on universal balance, apparently. That's why most of Cales powers were sealed and weakened during the Central Plains arc.

God of Hope; I don't believe their gender was ever specified. I think some people assume she's female too, but I found no evidence for it so far? I might be wrong. Anyway – thanks to them visiting Cale to "scare away" the God of Balance, we got tons of info. The God of Hope said: "Including Balance, Chaos, and I, there are a total of five Ancient Gods. We have continued to protect these seats without ever handing it over to another existence. My my, we are all quite greedy. We all desire power as well." So the five Ancient Gods seem to be Balance, Chaos, Hope, and I think the last two are Fate and Blue Wolf? [EDIT: The last two were revealed to be Justice and Injustice in the most recent chapter. My mistake!] Anyway – the God of Hope is sometimes stronger than Balance and that pisses her off. They seem to be one of the most reasonable gods we've met so far, not only admitting that they did not wish to become a god at all but were forced to, but also sincerely cheering on Cale's dream, explaining that Balance wanted Cale to replace Hope and be her lackey. No thanks, Balance, that's never gonna happen. …I mean Cale might still end up a god, with how things are going, but. Definitely not working for Balance.

Blue Wolf; I'm also unsure if the gender ever got specified, though I got the impression that they're probably male so far? In any case, they showed up during the battle on Aipotu. One of the evil Hunter Dragons tried to summon them with a corrupt Divine Item and Lock ended up swallowing a blue flame (yes it was exactly as weird as it sounds). They seem to be the reason why Beast People are able to control their Berserk Transformations at all? Which is quite interesting. Little to no depth on this god's character so far, though, except for apparently liking Lock and making him a successor of some kind.

God of Chaos; we found out a couple of things about them so far in the Aipotu arc. One, their followers are complete freaks; like, Shou Tucker from Fullmetal Alchemist level of messed up.  Their followers experiment on people AND themselves, like re-sewing limbs and creating chimeras (which explains lots of Hunter experiments honestly). Two, their representatives are able to use some weird similar-to-Dominating-Aura power which involves creepy Eldritch Horror Eyes? And Cale's gonna try and replicate that with the Donating Aura himself?? Well okay then…? Three, that god's power seems to be characterized by grey color (Dragon Lord Neo intended to use grey stuff to kill Aipotu with. Also worth mentioning; Choi Jung Gun apparently got poisoned by it, so now he's unconscious, slowly turning gray and dying. We'll see if Cale finds a way to save him.) Which – plot twist!! Actually came up in Part 1!! Looks like Sky Eating Water herself was subdued by that very god's power?! Together with God of War, no less, which brings us to the final god on the list…

God of War; turns out they're a double agent, if not a triple agent!! It's quite difficult to figure out what their deal is. Before, I kinda assumed they had to have some good intentions, because they helped created shelters and Cotton was their Holy Maiden and stuff. But nope. God of War is either working FOR or WITH the Hunters, although I'm inclined to think the latter. There seems to be something going behind the scenes, some personal agenda we don't know of yet? We know from Part 1 that God of War gave the people of the north a river, which the Sekka family hoarded selfishly for themselves, turning it into a lake. The God of War emptied the lake in retribution and sent a Divine Item that was a watering can full of fury. However – despite apparently all that good stuff and "breaking the slave chains" from Sky Eater Water, they also forced her to work for them as a Judge, which she hated so much she ran off. We now found out in Part 2 that God of War must have wanted to control Sky Eating Water, because she was so powerful she probably could have defeated the Ancient White Star by herself!! So, God of War teamed up with God of Chaos and chained her down in the lake in the Eastern Continent where Cale eventually got the Ancient Power from. A tragic end for her, but shows how merciless God of War was for his very own chosen one, in the end. God of War was also involved in giving Neo the knowledge on how to control Aipotu's power and the World Tree. There seems to be a lot more going on with the God of War we EVER knew, and the fact that the grey color has been set up back when Cale got Sky Eating water is straight up thrilling for me. I can't wait to find out more!!

So we finally covered all the Hunters and all the gods so far – goodness I'm sorry there's so much, but in my defense, that's about 300 chapters of context for it.

I roughly covered what happened so far through the two lists, but I'll add a few more things:

Cale defeated 3 out of 5 Hunter families so far: Black, Blue and Purple (like beating someone up and leaving colored bruises lol), with Transparent and Five Colors left. Also the ever-mysterious Hunter Leader called "The King's Successor", no idea if that's the Wanderer King or not, but I kind of doubt it. We'll see… (I also totally hope Cale kicks the a** of the God of Chaos, because they're a creep and deserve to burn in hell)

There seems to be another faction aside from Hunters & their supporters, or anti-Hunter gods like God of Death and non-affiliated people – there's a group called "Arbitrators" (raw translation, EAP did not get so far yet), which include Demons?? We don't know what their exact deal is yet, they seem to be about specific Divine/Demonic politics maybe? And Cotton is one of them because she turned her back on God of War?? And now Cale is in the Demon Realm, meeting a middle-aged demon princess named Aurora (whose father got dethroned and another guy took his place so Cale's probably gonna dethrone yet another monarch soon), and it turns out that the Arbitrators are totally BROKE, which kinda explains why Fake Hilsman stole Cale's money if he's one of them… Now Cale is scared because they want him to sponsor them HAHAHA – Alberu is gonna love the irony

No Cale did not officially adopt more kids sadly, but there's been some adorable kid characters showing up, and there's DEFINITELY a ton of new loyal Caleism followers – much to Cale's despair, as they're starting to worship him across dimensions… And with the Virtual Reality apparently being able to connect worlds, it's only the matter of time before Cale's slacker life is utterly screwed by multi-dimensional religion starring him as their Lord and Savior LOL

…So anyway, I hope it's what you've been asking for? Thank for reading this freakishly long post about my rambling on Part 2!

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

Comparing Killers

I sent an ask to my buddy @insane4fandoms a few days ago, and in their reply, they mentioned potentially doing a character analysis for both MadPat and my very own fanmade cannibal EgoPat Caliban in the future.

(This stemmed from one of their latest drawings. Again, thanks so much for remembering my scrunglies, friendo ❤️)

SO, being the way I am, I took some random inspiration and now I'm going through with that exact analysis myself! Just following my instincts as a writer and all that stuff.

___

MadPat:

Now, just to get this out of the way because I have a sneaking suspicion that someone’s gonna read this and automatically assume I’m being stuck-up: I really like Mad as a character. Matt has done an amazing job portraying him. . .though, Matt just has a knack for unhinged characters in general, lol.

And thanks to Matt's acting skills, Mad is an enjoyable villain. He’s cluster of chaotic problems shaped like a man in his thirties, and we all love him for it. (Honestly, I kinda see Mad’s behavior as similar to that of The Actor from all of Mark’s projects. Comedically evil with a tendency to throw tantrums when things don’t go his way.)

The FNAF Musicals have made many slight tweaks to the lore of the games to not completely plagiarize the story. So, of course, Mad is a slightly-tweaked version of William Afton: it’s made very clear that his crimes include murdering kids. On top of that, he has no problem playing long-cons with pizzeria employees before eventually killing them, too.

We’ve seen plenty of times that Mad is pretty much never afraid to get violent. Oh sure, he tries to put a mask on when he needs to, but it’s easy to see all his urges beneath that mask. (And again, much like Actor!Mark, Mad ain’t too shy about being callous and hostile to almost everyone around him.) He’s very quick to anger. To make things worse, he’s also quick to desperation.

While Mad is too smart for everyone else’s good, he’s still pretty damn impulsive/irresponsible. His crimes were all concentrated on the pizzeria; it didn’t take very long at all for the disappearances to pile up and gain unwanted attention. Now, a bunch of missing-person-cases are one thing, but leaving evidence is quite another.

Hell, in the beginning scene of Web of Lies, the wacko-in-a-bearsuit himself literally said, “Every INCH of this place is INCRIMINATING! Ten minutes of poking around this place and they’ll discover what I did. . !”

If Mad were to hear of Caliban's work, he'd probably be impressed at first and automatically assume that Caliban is just like him, just with more people-eating. However, if Mad were to actually meet Caliban and get a better read on his personality, Mad would likely end up insulting him one way or another. He'd see Caliban's professionalism as tedious.

___

Caliban Crawford:

Though I've made it pretty obvious that he's my special boi, Caliban is an objectively bad person. He may be insane, but he’s not delusional enough to deny that. Whenever his and/or Murdock's targets happen to be alive when they’re dragged to his den, he can be very, VERY sadistic throughout the butchering process. (Especially if the target has done something to personally affect him, Azalea, or any of his other peers.)

Sure, he doesn’t complain about working with dead bodies, but having a live meal is quite a special occasion. In such cases, he enjoys watching the unfortunate soul in question squirm and listening to them scream/beg. Taunting, dragging things out, making morbid puns all over the place, the works.

Despite all this, I’ve specifically crafted Caliban to be an extremely morally-gray character. (To be honest, the only fanmade ego of mine who’s full-on evil is LeviathanPat.) He’s still able to be logical/rational when he needs to. He takes pride in his self-control; yes, he has cravings for human flesh, but he knows he can’t afford to just attack any person he sees whenever he gets hungry. He knows he has to be EXTREMELY CAREFUL in order to keep his business away from the authorities. So, he only eats those he and his peers (Murdock, Azalea, etc.) are hired/paid to bump off.

On top of that, Caliban still has some humanity left. While he’s obviously nowhere close to a perfect angel, he’s still able to form genuine relationships and treat those in his circle with kindness/respect. Get on his good side, and you'll have quite a strong ally.

Though his morals are limited, one of the biggest differences between him and Mad is the fact that Caliban would never, NEVER stoop so low as to harm a child. In fact, he tends to avoid children altogether due to his own childhood trauma. (Totally not me projecting because I grew up in a dysfunctional family with verbal/emotional/psychological abuse.)

Getting back to the juicy stuff: Caliban is smart and efficient with his work. He prides himself on not leaving any evidence behind. (Yes, he still makes occasional mistakes, but even then, the aforementioned evidence still comes in very tiny amounts.) That's why he and Murdock became friends and started working together in the first place: since Caliban divides up which parts can be cooked/eaten and which parts can be sold on the Black Market, it really is easy for targets to just seemingly vanish into thin air.

Though my stories involving Caliban probably show him acting calm (despite his pun-addiction, lol), please, PLEASE don't be fooled. He's got just as much unhinged energy as Mad. He just happens to hide it a bit more often. But he definitely has his chaotic moments; half of the time it's out of unhinged joy, and the other half of the time it's because an enemy pissed him off enough to get their skin privileges revoked. (Basically, it's not that much of a stretch to see Caliban as a combination of The Hermit and Mack.)

Now, if you've seen @insane4fandoms artwork of him, then it's pretty clear that some inspiration was taken from Hannibal Lecter. And while I definitely appreciate references like that. . .well, that inspiration is mainly just for Caliban's appearance. I've said before that Caliban is nowhere near as arrogant as Hannibal. Even so, if Caliban were to see/hear about all of Mad's shenanigans, he'd write Mad off as being sloppy and unimpressive. If he were to actually meet Mad, his opinion would just get worse; he'd see Mad as a fair bit annoying and bratty.

___

@sammys-magical-au @b-is-in-the-closet @im-a-weird0 @themarpsimp @lexusinsannus @crazy-obsessed-enby @rozeliyawashereyall @gaymingintrovert @lampsforsocks @forestcouncil @x-hotrose-x @v1rus-seal

[ghostbrawl]

sent the 🐯 - nono the thing is i do know you!! youre not a stranger im just... sometimes i get spooked off, from interacting so much. because sometimes i think people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset :( and thats got nothin to do with you, you didnt do anything wrong. its me with my stupid thoughts and shit. i think youre really cool and i love your art and style and you seem so confident and dont give a shit about a lot of things. im intimidated by that

tried to answer this one privately and realized i couldn't because its an anon ask haha .. welp! i still want you to hear my input on this one so it's just going to be no reblog.

i'm going to put my response under the cut though for the sake of people's dashboards and because it's somewhat mushy. continue if you dare, followers - i'll be talking in depth about, like, emotions an shit.

so i sat on this ask for a while and really rolled it around my enclosure a little bit. full disclosure i need to just say for a long time i also felt this way - by that i mean feeling as though [people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset] - for various reasons.

one reason was that i had experienced real world examples of this sort of coddling many times - people online and in real life would often entertain me to my face and talk about me behind my back, mostly until i got too annoying to bear and was openly lashed out at or shunned. most of these incidents occurred when i was 16 or younger, to be fair, but they did make a mark on me.

another reason was just anxiety - if i didn't know exactly what the people around me thought, it would be safe to say those thoughts were bad. it would've verified what i thought about myself- and assuming those people already hated me allowed me to empathize with the versions of my loved ones that i created in my head. i often mourned the fact that they had to deal with me before i even knew whether they were annoyed or not.

these were the two main reasons why i often felt like people hated me, but i'm sure there were more.

i don't have an EXACT read on who you are anon, though i feel like i have an idea (you don't have to tell me, but if you'd like, reach out and send me a dm) - but personally, if we know each other, and i've not yelled at you or blocked you or told you not to talk to me, there's an incredibly decent chance (99%) that i neither hate you nor think you're annoying.

if you're my next door neighbor from two years ago, i take that back. but if you aren't, keep reading!

other than in my deepest darkest worst moments, i've pretty much trained myself out of the kneejerk assumption that my friends and loved ones hate me. i'll try not to sound preachy when i talk about why, but trust me when i say i have a point here in talking about it.

anyway - here's how i stopped doing that.

#1 - i started to model my own understandings of people's attitudes toward others based on my own attitudes.

ok i know that sounds weird or isn't very easy to understand so let me just give an example.

a technique i used a lot was just thinking through how, when, and why i liked or loved my friends. i loved my friends because they have similar interests to me, because of the history we had together, because it was easy to communicate with them, because i loved their minds and ideas, because they enriched my life (even when i didn't talk to them as much), because i was excited to hear from them + learn about their life, because i cared about them and didn't want to see them sick or hurt, because they were fun to hang out with, etc. etc etc.

then, i'd think about how i felt when one of my friends messed up, was irritating, annoying, or made me angry in some way. depending on how egregious the ill was, i reacted anywhere from pretty much none at all (for most irritations or annoyances) - to 'angry in the moment, it fades later' (for high stress situations in which i had no excuses for that friend) - to 'we seriously need to work this out' (for ongoing situations in which i was building up the strength to address).

most of the time, the irritations i encountered fell into the first category. many times i couldn't even be annoyed - i loved those friends so much that it didn't even matter, either in the very second the irritation happened or in the grand scheme of things.

in the few moments that i encountered more grave irritations such as those in the last category, what usually would happen is either that me and the other person sorted out our grievances and both agreed to change our behavior, or we parted ways.... and many of the friends i parted ways with i found wanting their company again and reconnected with them.

in evaluating myself in the context of my friends, though i can never know how, when, or why my friends love me, i know for relative certainty that when i am irritating or annoying to them, it is incidental and fades just as quickly for them as it fades for me. my friends will never be as concerned with my small flaws and ills as i am - it simply doesn't affect them nearly as much as it affects me.

^ this idea is doubly true for acquaintances and people you don't know as well as to say "friends" -- at the acquaintance level people can choose whether to get closer or to drift, factoring in time, interest, hyperfixation, location, their jobs, etc.

but this first technique only worked when i had the self-esteem to internalize the fact that other people's inner worlds were both just as complex as mine (holding complex feelings about oneself and each other) and just as simple as mine (annoyed or not? and for how long? etc)!

so another thing that really helped me was

#2 - faking confidence until i could build it properly.

i know everyone says this shit and it seems so ineffectual when it feels much more grounded and real to be cynical, to be anxious and upset with oneself.

and in many senses, it IS ineffectual - immediately. faking confidence is something that only works over years of doing it, and in faking your confidence you must also identify very real parts of yourself to be Actual Confident(tm) about and work toward feeling that way for real.

faking confidence is the sandbox where i, personally, found actual things to be proud of myself for within. when i faked confidence in my voice, way of thinking, my art, and my personality, i eventually found actual things to like in each of those aspects of myself based on how people reacted to that "front" of confidence i put up about those aspects of myself.

for a while i faced an awkward phase where my faked confidence was so intense that it manifested as arrogance and aggression toward others -- avoid this if you can . facepalm emoji.

but in presenting myself as somebody who was equal (or even greater) than other people in social situations i was in, other people pointed out things to be praised about me.

at first i'd be skeptical, but i'd keep it in the back of my mind. but over time, i'd see over and over the success of those parts of myself in social situations, artistic circles, athletic contexts, etc, and start to think "maybe i am good at [x]" or "maybe [personality trait] about me is helpful and cool", and on and on and on.

confidence and self-like is a process that builds on itself and gets easier over time. the second i began to question whether traits i had were really harmful or bad, the more i started to see reinforcing evidence of the contrary; of them being productive, healthy, interesting, worth having rather than destroying.

and the further you progress in this avenue, the easier it is to #not give a shit about things - or to respond less to attacks on the psyche or personality.

and when i reinforced + gained a respect for the parts of myself i once hated, it became easier to believe that others could admire me as much i admired them - that others could brush off my shortcomings as easily as i brushed off theirs.

recently, i hate to admit, i've had to start this process of loving myself all over again as i've started to experience a major personality shift brought on by gaining different + new responsibilities in my life. i respond differently to new circumstances so many times that i'm becoming somebody different - somebody i'm not yet prepared to love. somebody that i'm much more inclined to loathe, because i've seen the effects of my new personality traits on myself and others; not in observing my own actions, but in observing the actions of people in my life with the same personality traits such as my family.

so for now my confidence in a lot of situations is much shakier than it used to be - but the foundations i created back when are still there. when i don't believe in myself or punch down on myself i can keep it relatively contained internally and not project it onto others - or if i can't avoid projecting it, i at least understand on some level that i'm being unreasonable... and i can still keep that outward confident look pretty seamlessly while working out new insecurities from within.

trust me - i give a lot of shits, and so does every other confident person you know. we just keep it to ourselves - not to say that keeping it to oneself is inherently better, but it just helps to keep oneself from spiraling into deeper and deeper self hatred. keeping that hate on the down-low keeps it from gaining significant power.

in terms of being intimidated by other confident people....

i have nothing really to say about that. i think it's something that both affirms and worries the confident person in question - to be intimidating is to be slick and cool and impenetrable. but to be intimidating is also to be impenetrable (/neg) - impossible to see the inner life of through that glare of coolness or confidence. i guess its a double edged sword, i dunno.

but i think it gets easier to see even the intimidatingly cool as dorky, regular people when you recognize that pretty much everyone has or had crappy self image at one point. people are less intimidating when you allow the idea that they too, are people who fuck up, who go through things, who break down, who hate themselves, and who are just trying their best to seem like somebody lovable and worthwhile. and do that in order to CHASE interactions with others - and that wanting those interactions doesn't reflect badly on you or them.

but idk. i get it if u don't wanna read all that.

TLDR: ur thoughts aren't stupid and we've all been there. and i'm just some tumblr user on the internet it's really not so serious or scary. i post incessantly about robot sex and wizards instead of getting groceries. and everyone is just as stupid and dorky as the worst person you know and that's totally fine.

[wasppilled]

Been thinking about joining inaturalist (had a real interesting convo today w some guys who monitor fish in our creek, it’s home to a really rare species of fish that only lives here!), can you tell me a bit about it, since you use it? How does it work for uploading stuff, and do you know anything about privacy of info on it?

Did a quick poke around and there’s literally one bush by the gate into one of my paddocks on it and that’s it in my entire area! Feel like I could stand to learn and share a lot by posting some things, and also get more in touch with what’s living here besides me and my animals, yknow. =)

hi!!! not sure when u sent this ask but I must have missed the notification, just saw it today!!

I'd definitely encourage you to use inaturalist! Uploading stuff is pretty straightforward, there's a website and an app. The quality of the app depends on the kind of phone you have (for some reason the apple version is way more limited and sucks, the android/everything else version is better), but either way the website is kind of the best for uploading if you have a lot to upload. If you just take photos on your phone occasionally, uploading from the android app is pretty good.

You upload things with however far of an identification you can confidently give it, ideally- so often that can just be something like, "insect" or "plant"- even that bit of detail makes it easier for people who go through identifying stuff in more specific areas to see it. And over time people will help identify things based on your photos, which is a really cool thing! It's also great for making connections with people who are interested in this stuff, hobbyists and experts alike, in my experience :-)

As for privacy, there's a few options you have there. You can upload with the locations open, which means it'll show the exact location data associated with the photo, but if you're concerned about privacy, there's a few options. You can obscure the locations of your observations, which basically sets it to show the general area rather than specific location. The obscure function has a specific radius it gives and I don't remember what it is, but if that radius isn't big enough for your comfort you could also go into the location selecting part when you're uploading and set a wider "accuracy" radius, and move the point within that circle if you wanted for good measure as long as your actual observation location is somewhere in that circle- definitely for an open location you can change that. Not sure about changing the obscure radius but if you wanted to know more on that I can look into it! Since you have the option to manually enter locations though, you could tell it something as broad as you'd like, such as your general region or even country.

You can also make the location private entirely, although this sets the observation to casual grade. There's a few downsides to this:

- casual grade observations don't come up in the searches or ID menus for people looking to identify things unless they manually toggle the option in the search

- without even a vague indication of geographical location, identifying organisms is way more difficult, because the biodiversity of different regions varies so much

- casual grade observations don't contribute to data for global biodiversity databases (whereas any research grade observations do- they are used on GBIF, specifically, which is used by a lot of scientists).

so ultimately a completely private observation is not very likely to get identified or anything. personally I'd recommend going for manually inputting a broader location to whatever extent you're comfortable with. when uploading on the desktop site you can mass edit uploads so you may also not need to manually do that one by one.

I personally love inaturalist, and I'd be happy to dm you about it more too! 10/10 would recommend I'm steadily approaching a good 19k observations on there rn

[respectable-username]

🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN

A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers

TL;DR:

Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:

To connect to their company's internal network

To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)

To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country

Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:

Privacy

And today, I'll tell you why.

Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?

I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.

You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.

Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.

It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:

(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)

But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?

For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!

Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.

The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.

The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.

For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.

A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.

If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.

Something something viruses

How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.

(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)

Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.

And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!

But my ISP is spying on me!

Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:

The source of a request (your IP)

What website that request is going to (the website's IP)

These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.

Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.

It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.

By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).

As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.

If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.

HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.

Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?

In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.

For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.

But my VPN comes with a password manager!

Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.

Password managers also come for free.

I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.

So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.

No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons

In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.

Further reading viewing

If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.

I like too much detail

Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.

So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.

But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?

Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.

For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!

Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.

So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.

So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.

Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!

But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.

This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.

I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard

But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.

If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.

This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.

So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.

Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.

And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.

Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.

Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.

Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.

Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.

But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.

I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!

I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.

Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.

[roronoa-roro]

How To get Your Crush To Like You Back

Chapter 2

Pairing: Cherry blossom x timid female reader

Tw: bikes, gangs, fluff, cringe, and more to come

⬅️ ➡️

Kojiro sat on Kaoru's bed, watching his best friend freak out about an hour before the date. He had already sent a message to you, 'Dress warm and comfy, sweetie~'. According to Joe, this was a for-sure method to get her to open up to him. Kaoru didn't see how, but he played along. Things were going great with Kojiro's help. But he would never admit to that.

On the other side, you had started the freak-out session four days prior. The day he took your phone number, to be exact. You had been in a daze all day long, only managing to knock off the zombie mode with your mom.

"What's up, y/n. It's not always that I get to see you freaking out." your mom's head popped from the doorway, probably from all the shuffling noises you made. "I have a date," you mumbled under your breath.

But your mom caught onto it. And her reaction only made your freak-out session worse. Her eyes widened. "You have a date?!!! That's such a wonderful thing? Now, why would you hide that from me, hm?"

"I am too surprised and shocked. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It might be a one-time thing. Or maybe it's just us hanging out like friends." you started to babble.

Probably feeling bad for you, your mom came up to you. Grabbing the sides of your face in her palms, she made you look into her eyes. "Deep breaths, honey." she breathed along for emphasis.

Once you were calm enough, you thanked her, "Thanks, mom. I'm just freaking out because I don't know what to wear. Or where to start explaining, really."

"How about you start from the start? What happened?"

You told your mom how all this started. And the dating genius that she is, she figured it might have been a trick by those boys to get your number. Although she was mad they tried to con her babygirl, she didn't want to get in the way of these kids. What if you really ended up liking this guy? And what if he really was the one for you?

Your mom had a pretty good idea of the type of person you were.

You were dense. And she did not blame the boys for going out of their way to gain your attention.

So she simply advised, "How about you ask him? What should you dress like? He's choosing the restaurant, right?" you nodded. That seemed to make sense.

Unlocking your phone, you saw his message in your unread message notifications.

Dress warm and comfy, sweetie~

You smiled, there was something warm and comfy about the message itself. You didn't know if it was the sweetie in the end, or the timing of the message.

On Cherry's end, things were not going smoothly for him. The nervousness was eating up the boy. To distract him, Joe started another discussion.

"By the way, Kaoru. You didn't tell me your version of step two."

***

Step 2: Listen!

Talking about yourself is so fun, but your crush probably doesn't care about the time when your BFF fell in front of everyone at the mall (even though it was hilarious). While you should, of course, share info about yourself, make sure you're also listening to your crush (not on your phone while they tell you about their siblings). Ask questions, remain engaged, and take note of what they say. Your crush will really appreciate it when you send them a text wishing them luck on the test they casually mentioned a few days before.

Kaoru found it highly sus how they knew about Joe's glorious fall in the mall, but he waved it away. His lips pursed.

'I can listen only if she talks... How am I supposed to get her to talk about her interests? I know all she does is read books... Uhh... Talk books to her? Yeah, that's right. I'll ask her to recommend textbooks for all subjects. That's sure to open her up to me.'

Satisfied with his game plan, the simpleton slept peacefully.

***

Just as planned, Kaoru cornered the poor girl in the school library. He didn't mean to frighten her. He just wanted to find a place free from nuisances (for example green-haired males). And the perfect opportunity appeared when he saw her walking in the direction of the library.

"Don't you have the syllabus copy? All the reference books are listed in there." You watched the tall boy. You wanted to tell him that he was invading your personal space. But noticing how sincere he seemed to raise his scores, you decided to help a classmate in need.

You didn't let him torture his brain for an excuse. You started rambling, "But all the reference books in the syllabus copy are too complicated and boring. Was that your problem?"

Kaoru nodded, thanking his stars that you started to speak, and listened raptly. He was even recording your voice secretly, as creepy that is.

".....so if you prefer a lighter explanation to stuff, I'd suggest you try this publication." You handed him a thick book off a shelf. Kaoru was so mesmerized by the way your lips moved that he didn't realize you both were actually walking around the library. He took the book before thanking you and you both walked out of the library.

There was a bounce to his gait and you felt extremely happy to be able to help a fellow student in his academics.

***

That night, Kaoru lay in his bed, covered by blankets, your voice echoing in the silent room. He was dutifully taking notes on what you said. And now he had a list of books you preferred to study from and their reasons.

Kaoru looked at the list- long and hard. He couldn't tell how this list would help in getting you closer. It wasn't like he was going to read all these.

But these are her favorites... Maybe... I can try reading them once in a while... For l/n chan. Yeah I'm borrowing these books from the library tomorrow.

*****end step 2 (Cherry ver.)*****

Joe wanted to applaud Cherry's honesty and simplicity when it came to girls. As enigmatic his friend was, Hoe knew how much of a layman Cherry was in the field called 'Girls'. So he took it upon himself to educate this poor brother-like best friend out of the goodness of his heart.

"Kaoru, always remember a key fact about women. Never believe what they show and never trust what they speak. Go with your intuition, although yours is worse than a child's. When she says she's fine, listen to her tone, look into her eyes. If your gut tells you it's different, then it's different. I won't be able to help you breeze through your date, but I can help you prepare for it." Joe's eyes were dead serious. Cherry knew Joe would never kid about matters like these. This was, after all, his domain.

"Try to make her be as comfortable as possible. Knowing l/n-san, if she is going to fall for you, she'll fall pretty hard. And you need to cushion her fall at every moment. Be her go-to person when she hits obstacles or is just purely frustrated. Become her most cherished person." Cherry wished he could say that none of Joe's words made sense. But he could perfectly understand what Joe meant.

'Each and every fucking word of it.'

"And Cherry," Joe turned to look at him from the doorstep. "What you see isn't everything. You saw her reading books, you concluded she likes books. How lame is that?" Cherry would retort but he knew Joe was right. So he simply opted for a nasty scowl.

"Did you know she is in the calligraphy club?" Joe landed the last blow and left, laughing raucously.

Cherry stood rooted to his spot. Cherry had been a member of the calligraphy club for the past three years. But recently he went less and less, the topics boring him to death. If he had known this small fact, he sure would have broached that topic too. And maybe even attended the club meetings.

***

"So, have you joined any clubs?" Cherry tried to be subtle.

The date had been surprisingly airy and sweet. Cherry had planned to watch a romantic movie with you. But at the movie theater you saw the ad for an action movie you anticipated so much for. You literally begged him to watch it with you.

Kaoru was dumbstruck when you attacked him with your ultimate puppy-dog eyes. Stiffly nodding, he left to get the tickets while you got the refreshments and popcorn.

In the line for the ticket, he had been smiling like a fool. 'So she's into this action movie trilogy too? Man, I could kiss that Hoe if he wasn't so nasty' Cherry was greatly thankful to Joe for sharing his insights on the female population with him.

After the movie, you both had a heated debate on the main character's life choices, while walking to the restaurant, local transport all but forgotten.

The mood was ambient and you both were comfortable in the classic red-and-white themed coffeeshop. Kaoru had reserved this seat on the third floor, by the window with the help of his buddies who co-owned this shop. It offered the best view of the sunset.

You sat there, mesmerized by the sun sinking behind the hills far, far away. Kaoru sat there, mesmerized by the sight of you sitting before him, bathed in the golden glow of the tender sunset. His words seemed to wake you up. "Oh, yeah. About that. I'm a part of the Calligraphy community. I saw your name on the community hosts once or twice. But never saw you in any meetings. Why don't you ever attend any club meets?" you spoke before thinking.

Realizing how forward you sounded, your eyes widened and you were about to apologize. Kaoru burst out laughing. "I'll attend the next meet~" Kaoru smirked, "if you promise to sit beside me." He winked at you, smug at the red streaking across your face. "Wh-what?" you stuttered.

"When is it?" "Day after tomorrow. We are to bring our original designs. We will be holding a discussion-debate on all the designs brought forth."

"I'll be honest. I stopped attending because these discussions had started to get boring. And most of the artworks were too plain." Kaoru knew he was showing you his nastier side. But it wouldn't matter if he hid it for now. He knew his snarkier side would make an appearance sooner or later. And he didn't want to wait until it was too late to let you go if you so wished.

But you grinned playfully, "Alright. How about you come to the meet day after tomorrow? Let's see if you find the artworks 'nasty' anymore."

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure! Why not!" you grinned. Kaoru's boyish grin was new to you. And it touched your untouched heart strings, quickly becoming a weakness, without your knowledge.

"What's the bet?" you asked, digging your own pit for the second time.

"Let's see... Hm. How about... Say, if I win, you get three wishes from me. If I win, you exchange seats with my desk-mate for the rest of the year. Sound good?"

You thought for a while, "Hmm, doesn't sound half bad." There was no disadvantage to you anyways. You would have left him here, once and for all, if he had demanded three wishes when he won. "Sure! Let's do this!" you quipped.

The desserts came in and your frighteningly sweet tooth was exposed. Needless to say, you definitely weren't the one who footed the bill. Although you wished you could have gone Dutch, Kaoru wouldn't engage in that argument.

Cherry walked you to your home as snow flitted down from the dark sky. It was almost Christmas and most streets were already lit up with fairy lights and what-nots. To Kaoru, it felt almost magical, sharing such a serene and beautiful moment with someone he had come to appreciate in such a short time. To you, the snow seemed to add to the silent ambience. For the first time ever, in your short eighteen years, finding comfort and peace in the silent presence of another person, unlike the normal awkwardness.

Wordlessly, you both enjoyed this moment in your own ways. Time seemed to fly past and you were at your doorstep already. It was time to say goodbye. And although you would see him in school the next day, you still wished to prolong the beautiful moment.

"Bye, sweetie. I had a wonderful time with you." He pet your head, gently smiling at your wrapped up form. "Bye," you quietly spoke, reluctant to turn away. He chuckled, "Go on. I'll leave once you are inside." You rolled your eyes and turned away, not wanting to get into that cliché setup.

"Good night, Kaoru. See you tomorrow!" you slightly yelled from your doorstep before opening the door and dashing inside, closing the door and sliding down, leaning on it.

You squealed into your hands. The excitement still tingling you. Your face was red. You genuinely enjoyed this date. Enjoyed his company. Your mom smiled and gently closed her bedroom door. Guess she was worried for no reason.

Kaoru rolled around in his bed happily with double the intensity. He deemed the date a huge success. Sitting up and ruffling his hair, Kaoru messaged Joe. 'The next drinks on me. Get Adam with you' Grabbing Carla, the boy dashed out his window, landing swiftly on his ai-powered skateboard.

They had a super awesome mini party at the small hotel, food, drinks, and music. It's often said that one should not commit to stuff when they are happy. Kaoru learned the extent of this truth that night. He regretted treating Joe and Adam that night. Almost burnt a hole in his miserly pockets.

***End of Step 2 (Cupid Joe ver.)***

tagging: @porcupines-n-sharkteeth @cupidines @cookieempress2

[hacked-by-jake]

Hbj, first of all I hope you have a great day. The theories about Jake using the character, it's making me crack my head, I've always been suspicious of the fact that he has such a quick love interest in MC, I don't see the point in him trusting and liking lovingly so fast in someone he doesn't know, whenever things get tough, he loves to say sweet things to calm down.

I love Jake, but of all the questions he can ask a stranger he decides to ask if MC has a boyfriend? It's like he wants to make sure he can use this method and after episode 8 when we decided to tell how we felt about what happened with Richy, I found him so cold in his responses, trying to treat the situation as unimportant and that bad things happen and when he saw that he was not convinced, he started to say beautiful things, I found it strange that he thought about giving up his sister for a complete stranger, because that's what we are, we don't know Jake and neither does he know us.

Despite all the theories, I know that when I talk to Jake again I'm going to trust him completely, after all they are theories, but the signs are there.

(If Jake is manipulating MC I will cry for days)

Hey, dear Anon! <3

Thank you very much! I also hope that you have a nice day/evening/night. <3

Well, first of all, even though the topic hurts a little, just like with you, but I love talking about it.

And I apologize in advance that the answer has become so long. I didn't expect that myself. xD

I fully understand your thoughts about this, and I’m also afraid that Jake is just taking advantage of us. I try to be as neutral as possible, so as not to be completely biased.

Okay, so I can say for myself, and for many others, that we’re actually the same on that point with Jake. We also trust him incredibly fast although he is anything but trustworthy at the beginning.

You know, I think the relationship between MC and Jake is a little bit based on soul mates. That it’s not a coincidence that we get to know him and that we get along so quickly.

We write more with Jake than with the other characters with whom we can enter into a closer relationship. For example, Richy, even when you flirt with Richy, it goes very fast to the point where you can get closer to him.

I think in some ways this "everything goes fast" is also simply because of the way the game works. I mean, we can’t take so much time to get to know everybody.

We immediately talk to all the characters, and directly a lot. If it would take longer in the game, it would be strange firstly because of Hannah, because she would be kidnapped much longer, and secondly, there would be a lot of tension missing. At least I think so.

You know, I think he’s asking MC if we have a boyfriend, actually, is more of a sign that he’s really interested. I don’t consider Jake to be someone who gets closer to someone when the person is already in a relationship. I think he really wanted to know. Because if he did all this just to make us trust him, he might not care if MC is in a relationship or not.

As we can notice, Jake has a hard time getting social contacts, having a hard time with things like smalltalk, etc. he tells us (we can ask him that, but I think only in the premium version) that he is and always was alone. (I can’t remember his exact wording.) And later he tells us that Hannah and Lilly are the only family he has left.

I think MC has just been the first person to really care about him for a long time, asking him more private questions. Directly during our second conversation with him, we can talk to him about the desert island, and ask him, for example, which programs he uses to hack.

I think, as he says himself, we immediately had a good relationship with each other. And if he’s been alone for a long time, and then someone like MC comes and pays attention to his personality, and not just superficially, he enjoys it.

We have not been deterred by him and his performances, and have treated him as a normal person. Not, for example, like the government that sees him as a criminal, but we know he’s a hacker, but we don’t let that put us off.

In episode 8, when Lilly criticizes us for really trusting him, we can say that we had no choice. We had to trust him, to help Hannah.

And so it was for him with MC. He was just trying to save his sister who was kidnapped in front of him. And all of a sudden, our number comes from Hannah. He had as few options as we had. He’s just trying to find his sister, so he has to trust the person whose number seems to have something to do with it.

Moreover, we are all in a dark time. A kidnapper and murderer who kidnapped one person, murdered one person, and maybe even a second one, Richy.

Everything is always under stress and we are working hard to find and save Hannah. Stress, grief and worry. When two people like MC and Jake meet and have to work so closely together, then a little distraction is really good. Or being drawn closer to someone when you’re desperate.

And then he writes a pretty agitated message, I don’t know if you ever chose this option, I can recommend it to you.

I think we can see how Jake really is when we talk to him about that Hannah might have done something to herself.

Jake says, "But if you think she might have done something to herself, that’s out of the question."

We can then say it’s okay, and we’ll continue to talk to him. However, we can continue to talk about it and tell him, for example, that we should not exclude anything. He’s still stubborn, and we can tell him, "Why are you so stubborn?"

(well, unfortunately I can’t find the screenshot of this place and I can’t remember his exact wording)

However, he sounds so desperate and worried and it also sounds a bit like a reproach, so that he even apologizes afterwards and says that he did not want us to feel bad about him.

(Maybe there is someone here who has selected it and has a screenshot of it)

Yes, unfortunately Jake, in episode 8 when we talk about Richy, sounds and is very cold and emotionless. I think it’s just hard for him to understand how it felt. And "unfortunately" he is more focused on finding Hannah that is one of the only things that interest him.

I think Jake is also kind of blaming himself for not being able to help Hannah faster.

As we also know from episode 8, Hannah had sent him an email. However, this address was no longer active, and he only saw it when it was actually too late. He called her right away, but if he’d seen the message sooner, that might never have happened. Of course, it’s not his fault, but that’s how we humans are. And I think it’s the same with him.

If he feels guilty, I can understand that he wants to help so badly. He probably blames himself for breaking off contact with her at the time. That he didn’t dare tell his sister he is her brother.

Maybe then everything would have been different, and Hannah wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.

I think he was thinking of giving up on Hannah and running away with MC because it was stressful for him, too. He also suffers from the situation, but does not admit it to himself.

As he says himself, he tries to look at everything as objectively as possible, so he ignores what happened to Jessy and Richy. Because I think he’s also hiding his own feelings.

And in between, we can see him from the emotional side. Only rarely, but sometimes it happens.

And right now he realizes that for some time it would be easier to disappear with MC and turn your back on everything. Since the situation also burdens him, it is quite normal to think about choosing the easier way, which would also make him feel better.

But, as he also says, this would bring nothing. The responsibility would catch up with us and we would live forever with the guilt of just letting Hannah down.

And last but not least: the topic of manipulation.

And yes, that’s exactly what Jake is doing with us, manipulating us by using our feelings for him, and calming us down by telling us nice things.

Best we see this in episode 7. After his pursuers tried to hack us. Although he used this method before, manipulated us, but in episode 7 it is the most extreme to see.

However, I have to say that we are doing the same thing with him. We’re doing the same thing.

And best we see that, in episode 8.

When we tell him that the others want to see what we have for clues, etc., and the others want him to come into the group.

We know for a fact that Jake isn’t thrilled. But we get him to decide against it by saying, "I can’t do this without you."

And that’s actually also a point that shows me that Jake really likes us, he gives in and accepts the situation after we tell him that.

And that’s exactly what happens when we ask him to write the letter to Ted with Lilly, where we can tell him that we’d like him to be there. And from that moment, Jake says yes.

If he really didn’t want it, or he didn’t care that we told him we couldn’t do it without us, he wouldn’t give in.

He would just keep saying that he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t want to talk to us about it.

We wouldn’t even have time to contradict him, or just tell the others everything, since he could have erased any evidence from our phone.

He lets us manipulate him as much as he manipulate us.

And he writes when he joins the group chat that he wants to change his mind to tell the others everything, because of us.

And even the others realize that Jake likes us.

Lilly, for example, says (when we talk to her in episode 6) that he interrupted the vote, that his reaction wasn’t normal just because he cared about the subject. He’s very biased, not just because we’re important to him to save Hannah. It’s because we were treated unfairly by Lilly and the others.

Jessy says to Phil that there’s someone who likes us, but she doesn’t know if we’re reciprocating his feelings.

I don’t think I need to say anything about Dan, do I?

Jake and MC are not as inconspicuous together as the two think themselves.

I think I’ve addressed the most important things now, so I want to say an end conclusion: I really believe that Jake likes us and not just manipulates us. I really think he wants to get closer to us.

I’m not a psychologist or anything, of course, but I think Jake has some psychological problems that he might even know himself. Many things are difficult for him and I can often identify with him on this point.

His actions and manner are not always the right ways, sometimes he does not know how to behave and what is okay and what is not. We can see it with Jessy and Richy.

With us, he tries to show empathy and support us, which is why he wants us to rest a little afterwards.

Jake doesn’t seem to have had an easy life, and of course that leaves its mark. I don’t think he’s that cold sometimes because he means it badly.

I know we haven’t known him for long, but this whole situation is so special that it’s not surprising that MC and Jake get along so well and get closer.

Of course I can’t say exactly, maybe it’s really all just played by him, that we will only see at the end, but I don’t think that everything is fake.

--

And of course, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and theories with us. As you can see, I had a lot to say and really enjoyed answering that, and I hope I could help you a little bit.

So, I hope that I have not forgotten anything important now and that I have taken up everything I wanted to and can say. 😅

As I said, I don’t know everything myself, and this is just my opinion. I hope I’ve managed not to be so biased.

Take care of yourself and stay healthy, lovely Anon!💚🎭🌹

[bluebudgie]

i wanted to ask something thoughtful about your characters but no thoughts only

please tell me that petthri has friends

[echowilds]

Hello!! Thank you so much for your ask!! I apologize (once again) for the incoming wall of text. TL;DR version: His current position at the Inquest is making it a little difficult to find friends, but some past Rata Primus adventures and especially more recent Cantha adventures are setting him and my deadeye Lahpp (fellow Inquest colleague) up for a decent friendship! It appears a little onesided, but I'm sure it's actually mutual.

Longanswer.txt (Takes a deep breath):

As far as his past goes, sure he did have friends! He used to be a professor at the college of Dynamics, and he must have had some friends there. Perhaps he had the reputation of being a little excentric, but really.. we're talking Asura here. And overall he's a really upbeat and positive person, so it's easy for him to get in touch with people. He was actually pretty popular among his students too.

But more relevant, current time... so I mentioned here and there he got kidnapped by the Inquest for his research at some point (haven't thought of an exact date yet, but definitely pre-LS4) and they ended up keeping him "hostage" to have him keep working for them. Precise field of study and all, not too easy to get personnel for that etc. Might as well keep what you got your fingers on. Obviously being an Inquest hostage doesn't really make the best setup for great friendships, buuuut....

....at some point he sort of made his peace with the situation. Sure he'd still rather leave, but.. it is what it is. Might as well try to get along with people, right? Unfortunately, most of his "colleagues" don't really want to put up with him past work interactions.

Fastforward to LS4, when he was sent to Rata Primus alongside two of my other Asura (Phlish, my ocean themed mechanist; and Lahpp my deadeye... well, actually chemist in profession) and.. let's say the 3 (alongside one of my Charr out of all people) got a bit in a pickle. Awakened invasion and all. Got stuck in the complex, escape routes cut off... not too nice of an experience. Lots of arguing between 4 very opposing personalities. The whole adventure is another story entirely, but the point I'm getting to is that Petthri and Lahpp actually managed their way through this comparatively well, and had some little bonding moments on the way.

I made that little edit about this a while ago. The two criminals are tiny in the back trying to get things done:

Fastforward to EoD times and the two aforementioned criminals are on a little work trip to Cantha. Inquest snooping around current events. I wouldn't really call whatever they have at this point an "official" friendship yet, but they're definitely at least friendly with each other. They've had some more bonding moments over Void related drama (short for: it's a whole different story again) and Petthri's little chemist colleague is definitely growing on him a lot. Lahpp's a bit more distant but I'm sure deep down inside he appreciates that Petthri very obviously cares about him.

So yea, as the omnipotent narrator of these tiny men's story I would personally call them friends. Likely Petthri's only friend at this point in time, but who knows what the future might bring!

[ginger-and-mint]

Hey, I'm wondering if you have any advice on writing kink stuff? Basically, it feels like I'm writing the same story repeatedly. Coming up with stuffing scenarios that both make sense, and aren't just retreads, is really hard. It probably doesn't help that a) I don't have much writing experience, b) my interests are really narrow, and c) I have no imagination, lol. How do you keep stuff fun and interesting? (Jsyk, I sent this to Tiny as well, I love both your blogs 😊)

Hey, anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoy my and Tiny’s content and I’m flattered to be asked for advice! ♡ I have a lot of thoughts about this, so I’ll do my best to boil them down into something useful.
 ^^

Since you mentioned being pretty new to writing, I broke up my advice into a few different “stages,” starting with things that are easy to implement and moving to things that might feel more manageable as you get more comfortable with writing. Under a cut because Real Heckin Long.


Stage One — Don’t Sweat It

This might sound corny and unhelpful, but I genuinely think that especially when you’re first starting out, it’s best not to put pressure on yourself to write the world’s most original stories. Write to please your inner fiend and nobody else! If repeated versions of the same story continue to light your fire, there’s no shame in embracing that.

Doing this will honestly help you with originality in the long-term anyway, because you’re giving yourself the freedom to learn more about what specifics you really enjoy in kink writing. Later on, you can use that knowledge to put new twists on those specifics and invent new scenarios.

Stage Two — Stuffing Scenario Cheat Sheet

I completely agree that believable stuffing scenarios are really difficult to invent. What’s realistic is a matter of opinion of course, but for me, this is a quick breakdown of logical reasons for a character to overeat. If you’re getting tired of using the same justification in your fics, try picking something new from this list:

Accidental stuffing:

Character is distracted by something during the meal

Character eats so fast they don’t realize when they’re full

Character has been hungry for awhile and overdoes it when they finally get to eat

Reluctant intentional stuffing (motivated by external circumstances):

Character feels social pressure to keep eating **

The food will go to waste otherwise **

Eating contests / challenges **

The character is trying to bulk up

Enthusiastic intentional stuffing (because the character wants to):

Character just enjoys the feeling of being full

Character and/or their partner(s) have a stuffing kink

Character has temporary access to good food and is indulging while they can

Fantasy Shenanigans:

Side effects of being a magical creature (e.g. a werewolf eating too much for their human form to handle, a vampire needing to feed all at once, etc.)

Magic that causes a character to overeat (e.g. enchanted food, curses, potions, etc.)

Magic that requires a full stomach and/or extra energy to work (e.g. my di-mage spell mechanics, the antidote in this fic of Tiny’s, etc.)

[free space because fantasy lets you set the boundaries of what’s realistic, so your imagination is really the limit!]

** If you’re aiming for realism, I would be careful of these scenarios. In my opinion, they can be done believably, but often are not. Some things I would look out for:

Most foods can easily be stored for later, so if you want to use the “avoiding waste” trope, make sure that you’re either in a setting without access to refrigeration or that the food is something that genuinely wouldn’t keep until the next day (or at least would be way less tasty after a night in the fridge.)

Social pressure works best in scenarios with people that the to-be-stuffed character 1) doesn’t know very well and 2) wants to impress or keep face around (e.g. formal events, business dinners, first dates that involve food, meeting their partner’s family, etc.)

Loving friends, family, and partners don’t pressure or guilt people into overeating! Characters stuffing themselves because their loved ones are really insistent that they have to taste-test everything or act so disappointed because they went to all this work on some extravagant feast always ring at best false and at worst abusive to me. What kind of loving relationship is it if you don’t feel safe to say “no thanks, I’m full?” That’s not to say social pressure with loved ones can’t be done well, but it usually indicates some kind of character flaw (i.e. an inability to say no and/or a steamroller-y personality) that in my opinion, has to be acknowledged by the fic’s end if you want the tone to stay light and fluffy.

Again, this may just be my opinion, but eating contests only come across as realistic with certain character personalities and in certain contexts. Like yeah, I can believe that a himbo with YouTuber Energy would take on a hot wing eating challenge in front of all his bros, but not so much that an otherwise self-respecting character would drop everything to eat themselves sick because a friend randomly challenged them.

Stage Three — Change Up Other Elements When Using Similar Tropes


Especially if you have narrow interests, it’s probably inevitable you’ll write same basic story structure over and over. I know I sure do! However, I would say that changing other elements of the narrative can give your writing an entirely different feel, turning it into a whole new story that will not feel like a simple retread to a reader.

One thing you can change up is setting. A lot of times kink writers will just plonk characters in the comfort of their own homes, which is valid — but setting hugely influences the atmosphere of a story, so the same Kink Plot will read really differently if it happens, say, at a campground or on a boat. Providing a rich setting can even become a feature of the kink itself. For example, setting your story at a lavish buffet could introduce an element of indulgence that hits you and/or readers differently than a story that involves casual takeout in the living room, even if the rest of the story is similar. Try bold settings! They’re fun!

Another element to vary is context. For example, the basic trope of “stress eating” would play out really differently if a character is about to go on an important mission vs. if they’re recovering from an emotionally difficult day; a story about about a character intentionally stuffing themselves will have a completely different flavor if they’ve been going hungry for awhile vs. they’ve been overeating all week; and so on.


Finally, consider changing up the focus. An easy way to do this is to switch up whether you’re writing from the POV of the stuffed character or a caretaker. You can also focus on different details of the stuffing — for example, lingering on how delicious the food looks and tastes vs. how the character feels as their stomach fills vs. physical details like whether they’re getting bloated or grumbly.

Stage Four — Connect to Character or Plot

The most surefire way to make kink stories distinct is to give the story an additional purpose besides just being kinky. This doesn’t have to be some big, extravagant plot (although it certainly can be) — it can be a simple as writing a kink story the way you usually would, and just finding something within it that you can use to reveal an aspect of your character.

Start with an ordinary kink scenario and try to dive a little deeper. For example:

Say you want to write a story about stress eating. Okay — what is the character stressed about?

Maybe you come up with something relatively simple and generic, like school. Okay, what about this character makes them so likely to be stressed out by school? Are they a perfectionist? Are they facing a lot of pressure from their family? Do they have a goal that requires excellent grades? Have they struggled with this subject in the past?

Let’s say you decide to go with perfectionism. Now, what scenes can you use to show this struggle? And optionally, can you give the character some kind of resolution by the story’s end?

And there you go! Your fic now not only has kink, but also shows how your character reacts in a certain situation.

Character especially is a treasure trove of uniqueness, in my opinion, because well-developed characters react differently to the same scenario. Stories feel more original because even if a reader has read this exact same plot before, they will not have seen how this particular person handles it. So one of the best ways to make fics distinct is to spend time developing your characters!

If the goal is to simply write solid distinct kinky stories, trying to create detailed plot is more work with lower return than investing in your characters, if you ask me. You have to enjoy the process of creating plots itself for it to be worth it. If that’s something you’re interested in, I have a whole load more thoughts about that -- but since this is already incredibly long, I’ll save that for a separate ramble if anyone is specifically interested.

---

I hope something in this huge infodump is helpful to you! Some of it may sound intimidating if you’re just starting out with kink writing, but it’s absolutely all something that can be worked up to. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions if stuff I’ve written doesn’t make sense. Good luck with your writing, anon, and thanks for giving me an excuse to just go off. ^^’ ♡

[o-king-of-suns]

Hi ^^ I've recently found ur blog and read ur meta. Ur analysis is great! I'm kinda new here but I've seen so many ppl talk about Levi's guidebook page, referring to it as "the confirmation of what Levi was solely fighting for in the final battle i.e revenge by fulfilling the promise" I'm sorry if this has been pointed out before but as a Levi fan who believes otherwise, I'd love to read ur interpretation. Also u also believe the GB is implying this? I think ppl are having the wrong impression.

Hi! :) Thank you so much! I am glad you liked my meta! English is not my first language, so I try my best to express what I want to say.

Almost everyone agrees that the final guidebook is just an ABSOLUTE hot garbage! xD At this point that no one is taking seriously anymore! xD It straight up contradicts what happens in the manga, has VERY reductive and nonsensical descriptions of the characters and is FULL of errors.

The main reason to why many people have issues with Levi’s part (apart from it having nothing new or because it mainly focused on the promise) is one word that was used in the text that has been translated by some biased people into “obsessed”.

I asked 3 Japanese people (including my teacher) about the word that was used in the text and the meanings that I was given were: (be) dedicated to; have an uncompromising commitment to ; to really focus on; to be determined to; etc. From what I understood, this term is always a headache as it truly depends on what the writer wants to convey and what it “feels” right in the context. "Obsessed” is like, the most reductive reading of that word, and it's the exact word that Er_ris chose to use xD

Japanese is often qualified as vague, and it CAN leave room for interpretation. For example, the word (きれい) Isayama used to say Levi was the opposite of Rorschach could mean "pretty" or "clean" based on the context, but here's the thing: Rorschach is notoriously ugly, so it makes sense that Isayama meant that Levi is "pretty" (and it IS officially translated to "pretty" ), but I have seen MANY Japanese people say that Isayama meant "clean" not “pretty”! This word meaning in the text literally and solely depended on Isayama's intention even causing translators to get confused and translate it to “pretty”! If we look at the context of Levi’s character description in the last gb, the last line mentions that after his final mission, Levi “meets his friends with a calm heart”. Why would Levi be able to meet his friends with a “calm heart” if his entire arc was about him being “obsessed” with a personal goal and revenge?! Is this why he salutes them and they salute him back in the final chapter?! I am 100% sure that the word “obsessed” was not the one that the person who wrote the description wanted to use.

Now let’s stop talking about language translation and focus on Levi in the manga xD Is the gb version Levi the same Levi whom Isayama described as "as an existence more superior to myself" during Levi’s statue reveal just last March?!

You know, when I asked my native Japanese teacher to help me translate Isayama's statement about Levi, she sent me a 4 minute voice note breaking down the terms Isayma used and explaining how much respect the person speaking (Isayama) has for the person he's talking about (Levi). I was embarrassed to tell her that the person he’s speaking about is actually a fictional character lol

Isyama used 頭 の上がらない which literally means “can’t raise someone’s head” but it actually means “can’t raise someone’s head in front someone else for how much respect they have for this person”

Now let’s look at Levi’s actions in the manga to see if we can reach to the same conclusion.

Levi is one of, if not the most, perceptive characters in SNK. In one the official short stories, he was described as a person who is able to “know the true nature of Man”. For Levi, Zeke is a man who cheered with satisfaction as he threw rocks through fifteen year olds. He’s the person who nonchalantly explained to Levi the process of gassing an entire village of unsuspecting civilians and flinging them into an eternal nightmare in order to weaponize their bodies. Zeke’s manipulations are the origin of almost all of Paradis’ problems, whether it’s encouraging Marley to ramp up aggressions or pulling shady shit with Kiyomi, Yelena and the Jaegerists that destabilizes their already vulnerable island. And what’s worse - because we’re reading a story where torn-up characters are often excused by circumstances of coercion or perceived necessity - he doesn’t care. He feels no remorse. He wants to do this. Levi doesn’t know Zeke’s ultimate reasoning of course, but he recognized through the smoke of the campfire a man who doesn’t give a fuck about the wishes and agency of others. Who will force his own will on a race of humans and call it mercy. AND YET, Levi stays with him for  A WHOLE MONTH in the forest bringing him books, drinks and a pillow to sit on. He keeps asking him about what happened in Connie’s village trying over and over to understand him. And then the guy transforms Levi’s own teammates in front of him, forces him to kill them and taunts him with their suffering. Levi perceives a person who’s arrogant enough to consider his cruelty compassion as he decides whether the lives of their children are worth living.YET, Levi decided to keep him alive because he believed that it is what’s the best for Paradis; a decision that eventually caused Levi’s severe injuries and the activation of the Rumbling!

During the final battle, Levi offered to act as a bait for Mikasa so she can try to bring back Armin and risks his life TWICE to save Jean and Connie risking his chances to ever fulfill his promise to Erwin.

Please tell me now that these are actions of an “obsessed” man who is only focused on killing Zeke and revenge.

The first time Levi mentions the vow after the time skip, he says: “Erwin, I think I will be finally able to fulfill the vow I made to you that day. Your deathS had meaning. At last I will be able to prove it”  Levi clearly associates giving meaning to his comrades’ deaths WITH fulfilling his vow to Erwin. This is the line that proves that the vow has always meant something more.

Levi made a promise that came to represent the fulfillment of the goal all his former Survey Corps comrades laid down their lives for. Slaying the Beast Titan took on symbolic stature, a tangible way of giving their sacrifices meaning - especially in a world where the circumstances had drastically shifted and enemies, allies, and other were suddenly seen from a completely different perspective.

In Ch. 136, Levi remembers his friends and reflects upon their sacrifices and what they meant. They did not sacrifice their lives to “trample the lives and hearts of others”.

We never got a SINGLE panel in which he says that he fulfilled his promise! In the last apparition of his fallen comrades, Erwin isn’t even in the center. He salutes his fallen comrades for devoting their hearts for humanity and they salute him back for honoring their sacrifices.

If there is one thing that Levi was “obsessed” about, it is him trying to give meaning to the deaths and sacrifices of the people who truly devoted their hearts to humanity and whom he truly loved

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Ahsbejsnfjr Mia!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

I'm so Happy for you :)))) 💛💛💛😁😁😁😀😀😀🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Anyways can I get Sirius and Lily brotp please......💛💛💛

You can't tell me she wasn't bestie with Sirius before James. They are so amazing!!!!!!

@secretsongdeer thank you!!!  to celebrate a very exciting/big reader milestone of We Can Be Heroes on fanfic.net (I still can’t get over it, I much prefer ao3 but anyway!), I asked for prompts and so... Okay so this got out of control and ended up being more that just Blackevans brotp but I hope you like it...

   Prongs, what did you do?

 “I hate men!” Lily said, flinging her bag onto the floor of the Gryffindor common room and throwing herself onto the sofa.

Sirius Black, who was already seated on said sofa and had been pretending to read when she came in, looked up briefly, raising his left eyebrow.

“What?” said Lily.

“I am a man, Evans,” he said.

“And?” Lily said, sending him a petulant scowl.

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” Sirius said, trying not to smile as he went back to pretending to read said book.

“Very like that,” she said, sliding down the sofa and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Any particular chap bothering you today?” he asked lightly.

“I told you, all of them!” Lily said, rolling her eyes at him.

“All of them in particular?” Sirius asked.

“Well... I can’t tell you about one of them,” she said, kicking her foot against the low footstool.

That had to be Snape. Sirius made a mental note to hex the bastard as soon as the opportunity arose.

“And?”

“I can’t tell you about the other two either,” Lily said, throwing her head back against the cushion and sighing again.

Snape’s friends. The six mini Death-Eaters Snape hung around with could all do with additional hexing, the bigoted bastards. He clenched his jaw.

“And?” he said.

“And your stupid, infuriating friend!” Lily said, looking up at him again and glaring.

Her emerald eyes were utterly beautiful, but most people found them scary as fuck when she was angry.

Sirius Black was not most people. He knew Lily Evans like the back of his hand. This was only a recent and rather startling discovery.

“Ah, Prongs?” he said, failing to keep a straight face. “What’s he done this time?”

“He’s...”

“Yes?”

“He’s... well, if you must know, it’s more a case of what he hasn’t done!” Lily scowled.

“You’ve lost me there,” Sirius said, putting down his book and turning towards her. “Evans?”

“Black.”

“I’m notoriously impatient.”

“That’s not a virtue, and you need to work on it,” Lily huffed.

“Duly noted,” Sirius grinned. “You’re pretty impatient too, by the way, old thing.”

“So?”

“So, à propos de rien, what did Prongs do?”

“French doesn’t suit you, Black.”

“I think it does, actually,” Sirius said, flicking his hair and settling back into the couch more comfortably.

Lily glanced up at him briefly.

“Oh fine. I’ll allow that.”

“I’m always right,” Sirius said, with a smug grin.

Lily gave him an exaggerated eye roll.

“Name once!” she snorted.

“I said you fancied Prongs and I was right,” Sirius said, casually biting into the apple he had been holding in his right hand.

Lily’s cheeks infused prettily.

“You’ve literally never said that!” she yelped.

“I did just now, Evans,” Sirius said smoothly. “And I was right.”

Lily opened her mouth to protest and then closed it.

“Kneazle got your tongue, old thing?” Sirius said, grey eyes sparkling.

“Fuck off!” Lily said, jabbing his shin with her foot.

Sirius folded his arms and stared back.

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this!” Lily said, covering her face with her hands and groaning dramatically. “If you tell him, I swear to-“

“My lips are sealed,” Sirius replied, taking another bite of his apple. “Do tell!”

“I’m going to die of-“ Lily said, still hiding behind her hands.

“High stakes. Sounds like Prongs,” said Sirius, taking another bite.

“Listen, you’d have lost it too if you have just worked up the courage to ask Remus out and another person beat you to it at the last minute!” Lily said, flinging herself back against the armrest with force. “Two seconds ahead of me! Two bloody seconds!”

“What?” said Sirius, looking mortified, and pointedly ignoring the reference to one of his best friends.

“James, Prongs, whatever you call the useless, dorky git.”

“He didn’t say yes though, surely?” said Sirius, who still seemed a bit flummoxed.

“Didn’t he?” Lily said, her voice rising. “Desdemona asked him to go to Hogsmeade on a date. He said, and I’m quoting here, thanks very much that’s so kind of you I’d love to go only in his stupid polite voice.”

Sirius winced.

“And?”

“And?” said Lily, cheeks bright red at this stage. “And then she said oh James, that’s, like, so amazing? I’m going to, like, die of happiness? I can’t wait to, like, tell all my friends, they’re actually, I’m not going to lie, going to scream?” Lily said, putting on a highly convincing version of a snooty pureblood accent. “And then she kissed his cheek and ran off! He stood there, like a deer caught in the headlights! And she’s not horrible or anything, she’s actually quite nice despite her snobby voice, and very attractive to boot, and I’m just being mean and-“

“Fucking hell!” Sirius said, staring at Lily. “What the fuck was he thinking?”

“I know, right?” Lily glared. “Tosser!”

“Blithering idiot!” said Sirius, growling.

“Stupid git!” Lily added.

“Wanker!” said Sirius.

“Gobshite,” Lily said.

“Merlin’s sake, man!” said Sirius.

“Well at least we’re on the same page,” said Lily, shooting Sirius a small smile.

“Blindingly incompetent...” said Sirius.

“Incompetent what?”

“Incompetent flirt? He’s meant to be asking you out?”

“He is?” Said Lily, staring at him in confusion.

“Hand on, when did this happen?”

“A few minutes ago.”

“Merlin, fuck!” Said Sirius, pacing up and down in front of the fireplace. “He’ll come flying in through that door in the next few seconds, Evans, mark my words, so you need to leg it upstairs and let me handle him, alright?”

“Is that wise?” Lily asked, biting her lip.

Sirius stopped pacing and stared at her momentarily.

“Well. I’d say wise would be pushing it,” he said. “but still preferable to your future husband pulling a Prongs.”

Lily raised her right eyebrow.

“Fucking it all up monumentally,” said Sirius, resuming his pacing. “I shall fix this, old girl, leave it to me.”

“What have I done,” groaned Lily as she hurried upstairs.

 3333333333333

 The door of the Gryffindor common room flew open and James Potter stormed inside.

“Spot of bother with the fairer sex, Prongs?” Sirius said, lounging against the mantelpiece looking suave and sophisticated.

“Why, Padfoot?” James said, slamming the door so hard that the Fat Lady shrieked in fright. “Why is this happening to me, eh? What the ever-living fuck am I meant to do now, eh?”

“Prongs, care to enlighten me as to why the fuck you said you’d go on a date to Hogsmeade with Desdemona Demelza de Mimsy-Porpington?” said Sirius, his voice hard as steel.

James glared back at him and then threw his arms into the air helplessly.

“I have no idea, Padfoot! Literally no idea what possessed me, okay? I’m disgusted at my absolute barminess! It’s like I can’t be rude to a girl and then I can’t tell her she’s wrong either? I’m a disaster, Padfoot! A walking disaster area!”

“I agree. Your idiocy has risen to stratospheric heights, Prongs,” Sirius said, folding his arms crossly. “! just had Evans in here, in literal tears, all your doing!”

“In tears?” Said James, looking appalled and tuggi8ng at his hair with both his hands.

“Howling,” confirmed Sirius.

“Merlin’s tits!” Said James, turning white. “Do you think I-“

“I think your mother shall hear about this,” said Sirius primly, pursing his mouth shut and shaking his head with a disappointed sigh.

“What!” James shouted, looking horrified. “You are not telling mum, Sirius Black, you traitorous turd! It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t mean to-“

“All you have to do is ask the damned girl out, Prongs, it’s not exactly rock ’n’ science.”

“Rock ’n’ what? Oi! Now listen here, you little shit! I won’t have you chastising me like a bloody two-year-old when you are literally doing the exact same thing when it comes to Moony!”

Sirius’ elbow promptly slipped off the mantelpiece.

“Ouch!” He yelped, digging his elbow into his side. “What the fuck is that meant to mean!”

“Oh don’t you try this palaver on me, Padfoot! I damn well know you’ve had the hots for Moony for at least the last six months, and you’ve done fuck all about it, so don’t get on your high horse and-“

“What?” Sirius croaked, his voice shrill with fear. “I haven’t ever-“

“Oh shut up, Pads! I’ve had to listen to all sorts of Godforsaken moans coming from your bed as you call out Moony’s name. Darling Moony! Remus yes! Moony don’t stop!”

“What?” Sirius is now white as a sheet. “B-but I put up silencing charms every single night?”

“Yeah, about that, you never learnt how to cast a very effective silencing charm, mate. Which was fine, I covered for you, until you started mouthing off this gross stuff about Moony. I sent a remedial charm so don’t worry, Remus didn’t hear you mooning over him. He just thinks you are obsessed with Benjy now.”

Sirius stared at him, momentarily speechless.

“Excuse me?” he croaked. “He what?”

“Yes, well, I may have charmed your voice to say Benjy every time you said the word Moony or Remus,” James said, not looking at all apologetic.

“What? Why? Why would you do that?” said Sirius, looking at James with abject horror.

“Because I was sick of you both! Useless gits!” said James. “You’re both besotted and doing fuck all about it!”

“Fuck all? I’ll have you know, you may not have noticed, but I’ve been flirting my arse off with Moony for MONTHS now Prongs, months! And where has that got me? Nowhere! I don’t think I could be any more bloody obvious!” Sirius said, looking affronted.

“Don’t be ridiculous! You and I may think it’s obnoxiously obvious you fancy him when you send him  origami notes telling him stuff like Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? Or even Guess what's on the menu? Me-n-u, but Moony,” said James.

“But Moony what?” said Sirius, looking frazzled. “What the fuck could he possible think that relates to?”

“I bet he thinks you’re joking around, old chap,” said James calmly. “I did at the start.”

“Merlin, what the hell could he possibly think when I said Here I am. What are your other two wishes?” said Sirius.

“It’s Moony we’re talking about, not an ounce of sense in him when it comes to you, Padfoot!”

“He doesn’t like me!” said Sirius, his voice rising. “The time I sent him that note saying Are you French? Because Eiffel for you, do you know what he did? He turned around and told me, and I quote here, You’re a fucking idiot!”

“Merlin’s tits, Sirius!” shouted James, grabbing a hold of Sirius’ shirt collar. “That’s Moony’s way of flirting with you, you imbecile!”

“What?” said Sirius, eyes as wide as saucers.

“You’re blind!” said James heatedly.

“But how the fuck does Moony thinking I fancy the pants off Benjy help me?” Sirius said, grabbing a hold of James’ Quidditch top in turn and shaking him.

The door of the Gryffindor common room burst open once more. Remus Lupin stood there, eyes narrowed, lip curled, fists clenched, looking as though he planned on taking on every single wannabe Death-Eater in Hogwarts at once and could easily beat them. Sirius drew in a short breath, suddenly aware he was standing very close to James.

“Pray continue, don’t let my presence interrupt the snogging session you two had planned there,” Remus said, in a voice so icy that the dripping disdain had solidified.

“This is how it helps,” said James pleasantly, beaming at Sirius proudly.

“Oh fuck,” whispered Sirius. “Prongs, what did you do?”

If you liked it I can finish it??? It’s basically Jily & Wolfstar both oblivious idiots with wingmates Padfoot & Prongs (major Jily & Wolfstar shippers respectively) to the, ahem, (supposed) rescue....

[gocrazygostupidtheories]

I watched Enchanted Grom Fright and I have some things to say.

Firstly, I LOVED THAT DANCE SEQUENCE. I AM ABSOLUTE TRASH FOR THE GENRE AND IT WAS SO WELL ANIMATED I ALMOST DIED.

And here is the most legendary contribution and outfit for Grom.

Next, I’m sure we’re all wondering about who wrote the letters (clearly not Luz.)

But, then I noticed how the writer clearly doesn’t know how to spell her name and had to cross it out and rewrite it. Meanwhile, Amity’s letter knew how to spell her name first try, so if Amity did write it then she wrote it beforehand and sent it to her mother. Which is a bit far fetched, since Amity has a) never been to the human world and b) doesn’t know where Luz lives. Also, the writer doesn’t fill in their full stops/ top of the i’s while Amity does, and the o’s are written similarly, but differently. Since Amity is also her age, and how the letter seems a bit weirdly formal for a fourteen year old (especially talking about mortgages out of all things that Luz could have talked about at the camp,) how they address them as mother/daughter instead of the mamá and mija or the more loving like cariño we’ve seen them address eachother as, I don’t think it’s her. Despite Amity being the first student to protect her, I don't think it completely lines up.

If we want of a bit less sensical theory but more depressing, I have one.

Then, I realized, at the start of the episode, Luz and King were waiting for Eda to come back from the human realm for a seemingly long time. Luz was practicing plant magic, and the place was filled to the brim with different plants and flowers. There were piles of crumpled up paper used for magic that didn’t work, so she must have been a while. Luz’s first line is “Come on, work this time!” Meaning she must have been frustrated over how long she’s spent on this, or how much time and effort she’s wasted.

If we are sticking with my previous theory, it has something to do with this creepy Luz that link to one Luz going in, and another Luz going out, like Hemera and Nyx with the bronze threshold to create sunrises and sunsets. I'm not sure if it's an alter ego, an imposter demon/creature/witch, or if it's someone related to her in some way. However, if my theory is correct, then Luz has a big storm coming.

At first, I was thinking of Amity wanting Luz to stay as a way to escape from a rather toxic parental relationship by how similar the handwriting is.

And as far as we know, the only one who has seen where she lives is Owlbert, who is Eda's palisman.

Over the past couple of episodes, Eda has definitely warmed up to Luz. And, who shows up first when Luz is tracked down by the Grom?

Eda is. When Luz says she can't fight the Grom, Eda immediately says "That's okay." And I thought about it for a little bit, but Luz joining the two has made the dynamics and mood alot brighter than before. This human, who could be compared to Eda's situation when she was her age, wants to learn magic and still trusts and accompanies her after the curse, the fact that they're on the run, being offered much more greater things than living with two criminals who sells human junk for a living.

And maybe she wants to pay that back by avoiding suspicion that Luz is in another dimension. Who knows.

It could be the Emperor's Coven fucking something up (most likely,) but they don't know where she lives or comes from. Then again, the message from the titles "A WITCH LOSES A TRUE WAY" could suggest that Eda might join the Emperor's Coven, willingly or unwillingly.

Next Theory:

When I saw this scene, I knew something was/had been up.

King tells Eda that she was a bit harsh on Luz by telling her she shouldn't be Grom queen and take Amity's place because she was "fragile." In return, Eda says "Facing Grom means facing your worst fear, King. And I don't think Luz knows what that means yet." She stays silent for a bit until she changes the subject to red eyeshadow.

Like said, Eda already has a burning hatred for Hexside and the Emperor's Coven, but I think this could be a little thing as to why. Lilith was one of the best in Hexside that she ended up joining the Emperor's Coven. We don't know the exact logistics of why a person is chosen to fight Grom for Gromnight, but I think it's safe to say that the more powerful and dedicated students do (like Amity.) Lilith would seem like a likely choice for that year's Grom Queen, so it makes me wonder what her worst fear was. Whatever it was, it could of been about Eda or their parents, affected Eda and possibly the Clawthorne family.

But, possibly, it could of been Eda. Eda could of been a witch with great potential that was chosen for Grom, got over excited and over confident, or possibly wanted to fight it instead of Lilith and traded places (Lilith could of been scared of her worst fear, or out of spite and sibling rivalry.) When she ended up fighting it, it shapeshifted into her worst fear which I think could revolve around her family, her curse or her identity compared to Lilith.

This line may have just been for kicks and giggles, but when Eda says "Oh, King. Teenagers are brutal. They'll boo anyone, and that kind of humiliation can stick with you for life." Most likely, Eda did this, but it would be really guiltily angsty of me to assume she has been booed by teenagers before. But why? Maybe because she couldn't face her worst fears, or the adored popular student of the time (Lilith) had some sort of covered emotions she didn't want to tell upfront but got revealed during Grom.

Eda's exact becoming of "The Owl Lady" is unknown, but I've always wondered how people knew she was cursed. She looked pretty embarrassed when the Grom shifted into her temporarily.

But when it instead turns into Luz's mother, Eda realizes, "Oh shit. I was wrong."

When Luz was training with Edric, Emira and Amity, who made a version of Eda making fun of Luz for being fragile, Eda didn't know the context behind this. She could, but I don't think she heard Luz openly proclaim that she's afraid of Eda's rejection and not being good enough to be a witch, not Eda herself. When Eda goes outside, she doesn't know the actual fear, but she knows that she was there when Luz was training how to cope with her worst fears.

So it just may be me and my turning for more angstier content, but since the curse seems to be getting worse, Eda would probably seperate herself from Luz and King for a while (possibly.)

[land-of-classpects-and-analysis]

i hope this isn't a bother or a distraction to you right now, but could i get a little taste of an heir of life? i'm pretty sure i've seen you do other heirs and i really wanna see what amazing analysis you might have in store for the future when you do heirs!!

Of course you can have a small preview of, arguably, possibly one of my favorite Classpects! I can also promise you are most definitely not bothering nor distracting me from things, either!

For the sake of time and my wrists, I’ll drop in here what I’ve already said about the overall Heir Class!:

Heirs are those who subconsciously, almost instinctively, drift towards any and all instances of their Aspect. Whether it is always finding themself taking charge and being the leader, having a life of misery, suffering and pain with no real comfort to speak of, or fading into the shadows and remaining ignorant to the truths of a flawed system. The Heir is one who both gravitates towards their Aspect, but it is one that rarely often helps them - at least in the beginning.

It is because of this subconscious gravitation that the Heir is at risk of becoming fully submissive to the whims of their Aspect, losing every other sense of who they are in the process. While some Heirs may not see any problems with this, it is a thought that may startle and even turn Heirs into those who try to fight back against the strings their Aspect has tied to them. They are the only ones who can control their fates, whether it is by fighting back against and taking full control of their Aspect or allowing for it to fully overtake and override who they are, leaving them to be an unfortunate husk of who they once were.

Heirs are those who usually passively Manipulate their Aspect, or Manipulate through it. Their powers come to them naturally, after all, but their main problem is having to learn how to use their powers to benefit the team rather than only themselves. Overall, their personalities are often ones filled with passion and loyalty, especially when it comes to their opinions, values, and beliefs. Changing an Heir’s mind on something they enjoy can be difficult, sometimes even to the point where it feels like you are talking more to a wall than an actual person.

Now, as for the Heir of Life themself, they are simply someone who often tries to give too much of themself at once - they seek to heal and mend and fix what has been broken, wash away the scorched scars that cover those they love and the planet they love on, but they can’t. They are only human, and they can’t fix all that is wrong in the world. The Heir of Life does not care, though, as they will continue to try over, and over, and over again to fix as much as they can, to help as many people as they can at once, always taking on more weight of people’s issues all while trying to juggle their own. Although some of the Heir’s own friends may try and tell them to take a break, take care of themself, make boundaries, practice what they preach, and more, the Heir of Life may smile back at them oh-so-sweetly while promising that they will try, that they will do better about taking care of themself. Everyone knows, though, for they have all had this conversation one too many times, that the Heir of Life will always find a way to once again stretch themself too thin, set themself ablaze to keep others warm, sacrifice their own health so as to give more kindness and prosperity to the people in their lives who would not even think twice of returning the favor. The Heir of Life does not mind, though, because knowing they have made others happy is all they need. Right? Right?

The Heir of Life is someone who may naturally gravitate towards Life, the Aspect of growth, happiness, life itself, positivity, healing, and more. Because of this, they are someone who will often be the first responder to when someone asks for a shoulder to lean on, or a soul to listen to them vent. They are the person - the friend - who will drop everything they are doing and try to help someone find their way through the darkness of negativity they are experiencing. While they may have extensive knowledge of how to fix things, how to make things better, oftentimes the Heir of Life will find that their good-hearted actions will go to the people and places filled with selfishness. People who, admittedly, do not want to be fixed, or healed, or mended, but rather just want someone to coddle and enable their self-destructive behaviors while also leeching off of their loving ways. Yet they have so much love to give, so much empathy, sympathy, and compassion in their heart, that to even say no to giving love and healing to even the most rotten soul is something the Heir of Life can’t even bear to think about, even if it means continuing to hurt themself in the process.

However, while the Heir of Life may be able to ignore their own pain and suffering as they continue to coddle and enable the toxic, leeching behavior of others, as well as healing their own friends of their worries and problems. Except, there is one worry the Heir of Life will never be able to truly heal away from their true friends - and that is the worry that the Heir of Life may fully lose themself in the ways of healing, mending, and sewing things back together. Their friends - their true friends - are the ones who must sit and watch as the Heir continues to scratch themself out too thin until, finally, something snaps and the Heir of Life is sent spiraling into a mental state of pure and utter despair and anger. An Heir of Life at their worst can be a truly vicious and venomous person to be around, as they spare no expense as to who will be met with a snap and a bite from the Heir themself. Someone so sweet and unassuming becoming a force of overall destructive, for the self or otherwise, behavior, and who will take down anyone they deem to be worthy of experiencing the same despair as them is often a trademark trait of the Heir of Life.

It is a vicious and ever-spinning cycle for the Heir of Life; being an unrelenting healer, offering their help to all who will take it, falling prey to those who only seek to use and abuse the Heir, leaving their true friends to become bystander witnesses to the Heir’s suffering and grievances, and finally, the Heir having enough and reclaiming their right for self-care and self-love, all the while hurting many other people, good and bad, along the way. While it may be a cycle, much like of life and death, it is a cycle that can be broken. For as much as the Heir of Life loves to help as many as they can, once they come to realize how much their self-destructive ways harms not only themself, but also the friends who love and care for the Heir, they will discover that this isn’t who they truly want to be - they don’t want to give away all of their help to those who don’t deserve it, especially when they have people who are far more deserving of such tender-love-and-care. As such, the Heir of Life would have to find a way to break away from the strings of their Aspect, while also continuing to be the healer they so deeply desire to be.

For the powers, they are rather interesting when one takes a moment to contemplate them. After all, what does it mean to manipulate Life or even manipulate through it? Well, let’s try - keyword being try - to go over both options very, very briefly, so as to avoid any big spoilers before the time comes for the Heir of Life to fully shine! To start off, let’s go with the far more simple option of manipulating Life - though, as easy as it may sound, the fact that Life can stand for so many different things can put quite an interesting twist on this power. For now, let’s look towards the more literal version of Life, primarily with people’s life force as well as that of plant-life. An Heir of Life could come along and manipulate the life force of anyone they wanted to, whether it is by expanding a mortal’s lifespan by hundreds, thousands, perhaps even millions of years, or doing the exact opposite - manipulating someone’s life to become far more disheveled and closer to death. Of course, they could also manipulate someone’s Life in the form of aging certain parts of that person, while leaving everything else relatively untouched. If the Heir of Life so wanted, they could turn their enemy’s skeleton and/or insides into dust, leaving them hollow on the inside and, of course, dead. Then there is the manipulation of Life in the form of plants - which could become more akin to that of, perhaps, a type of Cleric or Warlock who has a domain or pact that allows for them to bring about a horrific army of plants. While they can’t exactly create these plants from thin air, so long as there is any sign of plant-life in the immediate area, the Heir of Life could so easily take it and turn it into something as simple as an ocean or mass of thorned tendrils, or give far more sentient life to the plants, making them an entire plant-based animal to do the Heir’s bidding more than anything.

As for the ability to manipulate through Life, this power is one that could take a far darker turn, especially if the Heir of Life using it has simply had enough of feeling like some old, beat-up, and thrown away doll. They would still be a healer, oh most certainly, but there would always be a small price for their helpful services. Heirs may be somewhat awkward individuals, but they still are people who attract others to them, one way or another. Because of this, if the Heir of Life truly wanted to play a little dirty, then they could use their Life powers as a means to twist the arms of those that have wronged them. After all, wouldn’t it be just a shame if people were to find out the star of a show was secretly some criminal, or that the person with a tragic home-life is just simply spoiled and not getting their way? Wouldn’t it just be a shame if all of these deep, deep dark secrets were to get out? The Heir of Life thinks so, and since people just love to come to them and talk about all of their problems, then the Heir believes their enemies would also agree how truly devastating it would be for the harsh truths to come out. If the Heir of Life wants to get something, then they know exactly how to get it.

Hopefully this helps to give you a little taste as to what the Heir of Life has to offer for when Month of the Heir comes rolling around!

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Defending Christine Daae

I never thought I'd have to write a post with that title, let me tell you.

Because when I first heard of Phantom of the Opera, I was under the impression that everybody loved Christine just as much as I did. I mean, how could you help it? Well, I was wrong. It would seem that there are, in fact, people out there who don't share my exact opinion (shock of shocks) and who dislike Christine for various stupid reasons.

Now, I'm not here to point fingers at anyone or to belittle anyone's opinions in anyway, and blah-de-blah [fill in the rest of long boring disclaimer any way you wish]. But I AM here to defend one of my favourite female protagonists in a work of fiction! And defend her I WILL! IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!

Um, pardon me. Don't know how that last sentence got in there.

Now, on the internet, I've heard some flak about Christine, and though I'm not here to make anyone feel bad (see above) I do want to refute those points about her, point-by-point. (Hmm. Redundancy.) One of the biggest points against Christine is her choice to be with Raoul instead of the Phantom, who *ahem* TOTALLY needed her because he had a bad life and he taught her to sing! My opinion?

I don't think that means Christine owes him love. Appreciation and thanks, yes. But not love. The only thing he ever did that was worth any kind of love was letting Christine go. And she isn't some sort of consolation prize! It's NOT her job to fix the Phantom, only he could fix himself!

C'mon people! The two pretty much fit the qualities of an abusive relationship (emotional manipulation, throwing her around, restricting her from seeing other people etc.) And it’s kinda disturbing. “BUT!” You cry, “CHRISTINE REJECTED THE PHANTOM FOR A SHALLOW REASON! HE WAS UGLY!”

While I do understand what you’re coming from, I would like to inform you that it was actually his toxic behaviour towards her and murderous qualities that drove her away from him and made her choose Raoul. In “Final Lair”, she said one of the biggest burns in Gothic thriller history “It’s in your SOUL where the TRUE distortion lies...”  The Phantom's problem isn't with his disfigurement. No, the problem is with what he's allowed his disfigurement to make him. He's become so obsessed with the idea that no one loves him and no one will ever really care for him that he believes anyone who stands remotely in his way is just out to get him. So what does he do? He murders people whom he gets annoyed with. First Buquet, then Piangi, and finally (almost) Raoul. And that is DEFINITELY not okay! 

I think Christine saw him as more of a teacher, or a friend, or a... father figure, in a messed up way... which is more evident in the book on how she is both afraid and sympathetic for the Phantom. 

While not condoning his actions,  I do wish the Phantom could have found someone to love him. Good gracious, his final lines “IT’S OVER NOW THE MUSIC OF THE NIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” makes me tear up every time.  Gah. I'm in danger of sobbing, too, but I really want to get this post done, so I will conquer myself and think of something Funny instead. *thinks* I know! Gerard Butler’s version of the “All I Ask Of You (Reprise)”. That’ll cheer me up and make me laugh XD!

In all seriousness, I know that Erik is unstable and violent. But I also know that he really IS a gentle, misunderstood soul. You can be both, you know. The unstable and violent side of him, unfortunately, triumphed- and his dreams, his desires for love, his castle on a cloud came tumbling down because of it.

And so... onto the next point, another common argument used to bash Christine is that she’s considered to be flat, boring and goes through ZERO development! But in actual fact, there’s so much going on in her head and goes through quite an emotional travesty that it’s almost impossible to call her bland!

She is deeply wounded by the loss of her father, and has this incredible musical talent which stayed in a state of diamond in the rough before being discovered by her “Angel of Music”. He trains her, not realizing that she is becoming the center of an unhealthy obsession, genuinely believing in her naivety that he is some benevolent spirit sent by her father, therefore bringing her a sense of comfort. She is a pious girl, after all, and being religious myself, well, such a reaction from someone who believes like her is believable though naive. Can we blame Christine for that? NO. How is she supposed to guess?

And now, let's talk about "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again", aka. The Christine Empowerment™ song! I feel like the difference between a good portrayal of Christine and a great portrayal of Christine, is based on how good their rendition of this song is. It is a crucial part of the plot. One of the reason The Phantom and Raoul appeal to Christine is because of the connection they represent to her dead father. Of course, Raoul actually knew her father and the Phantom uses his memory to manipulate her. At this point in the show, Christine has become disillusioned with Raoul and is afraid of the Phantom. She realizes through the song that the only way she can’t move forward is through letting go of the past, and getting over the death of her father. This fuels her actions through the rest of the show as it makes her realize that if she wants her happy ending, she must take charge of her destiny and earn her own agency! And the Phantom, trying to use her in the moment where she was probably at her most vulnerable since she is questioning herself about her entire life, only catalyses her decision. She performs in Don Juan Triumphant, because she knows that everything is up to her, and that she cannot let the Phantom keep on destroying her life.

As for her unmasking the Phantom in "Point of No Return", Christine did this in a way to show him that she refused to be controlled by him any longer. It is certainly not the most intelligent thing to do, nor the nicest, but again, her behaviour is explainable. But as said above for Erik, it doesn’t excuse her. And it shows how she was beginning to be able to resist his pull/spell/enchantment/whatever you like to call it on her!

I adore and admire Christine Daae as a character so much, and it was her actions and story arc that really started my love for this story. Christine's ability to love unconditionally and selflessly is so profound. Even though the Phantom put her and everyone else through lots of horrors, she still doesn't hesitate to show kindness towards him but makes sure that her abuser NEVER hurts anyone EVER again. She loves Raoul so much that she's pretty much willing to sacrifice her freedom and happiness so Raoul could be free. No matter what circumstances she is given, she will still put the ones she loves before herself no matter what, even if it means giving up a chance to save herself. I know most of us won’t ever be put in such an extreme scenario but Christine is such an inspiration of how to love others and believe in them despite flaws and bad sides. She inspires me to see the good in people. It’s so easy to be cynical and hardened in this world, and I think that Phantom of the Opera reminds us to have kindness and light in our hearts, even in challenging circumstances.

I would also like to add another moment of character. Think what it must have taken to prepare for the female lead role in a 3-act opera. Christine wasn’t even an understudy. In a matter of minutes, she went from member of the ballet corps to the lead role, and she had to rehearse and remember new music, character, blocking, and vocals. Not only did she prepare in time, she performed so well that she became a hit. This reveals, not only the skill and beauty of her voice, but also her concentration, diligence, and acting capability. Everyone hails the Phantom as the ultimate musical genius—and he is—but they overlook the implied extent of Christine’s skill.

She went through the loss of both parents, manipulation, being stalked, and knowing that the person she loves most has his life on the line - because of her. And then she literally gets off of her knees and shows her abuser the first form of kindness he has ever known. Not even the Phantom was strong enough for that; he gave up on the world far too early. Christine is the embodiment of courage and kindness; she teaches us to love and forgive those who have been awful to us, and to protect those we love even if it means our own suffering. But she no longer succumbs to the Phantom and makes sure her abuser never hurts anyone EVER again. Seriously, this girl is AWESOME! And this was in the 18th century! It's really sad that such a great character is overlooked by many...

It seems that Leroux really understood women... That we can be emotional, we are vulnerable but not weak... And emotion really helps us when we keep them in control!

Christine, in a nutshell, is a kind, observant, compassionate, trusting young woman–a too trusting at first–but with a spine of steel and determination once she’s drawn the line. She loves people deeply, but she picks up quickly on the realities of the situation. She has the strongest character arc in the story and makes the choices to grow and to move on. Yet she remains gentle and compassionate, uses her love to bless and not manipulate. She’s a layered character who grows. And there’s so much more to her than meets the eye.