#I'm only recently realizing I might actually like musicals a lot

[mandareeboo]

I very much recommend watching Epic the Musical on Youtube.

I know a little about it! Mostly through animatics. I've heard all of "The Horse and the Infant" from ROTTMNT but all I really recall of it is the infant section I heard more recently in a LMK one. I've also seen "Get in the Water", male and female version, but I heard the female version first for an animatic of Hama that's now on Youtube (First link is tumblr, second is youtube).

Everything I've heard so far is a bang-up job! I just keep forgetting to actually check it out.

[thebeautifulfantastic]

<3

[girlfromthecrypt]

I haven't posted to this account very much (or at all, really), so I figured I'd update you guys on the state of Such Happy Campers and Press Play. I don’t want to talk about the incident that led to me putting SHC on ice because it still rather upsets me, but honestly, I think it was a good decision. I was grieving the “loss” of SHC for a while, but I can't help but believe I made the right call. Continuing on under the circumstances would have drained me and likely taken me right down the road to writer's block.

Furthermore, and in hindsight, I find writing Press Play a lot more fulfilling right now. All my life, I've only ever written horror, so Press Play has been a wonderful breath of fresh air. It feels cathartic writing about struggles I myself have experienced, and it’s so easy to write about music. I love music so much, and I didn't realize how fun it could be to combine this with my passion for writing. You might have been able to tell from the sheer difference in word count between Press Play and SHC, but it's been so much easier working on this somehow. Also, I do believe SHC wasn't all it could have been. I only want to put out my best work, and I don't think SHC was quite on par with Press Play.

But what about SHC, you may wonder. Or you may not, but I'll address it anyhow. I have recently had an idea for what I might turn the original SHC into. It's only a vague outline right now and I won't turn it into anything more until I'm done with Press Play (I have learned that I can't really write several IFs at once, I'm not C.C. Hill), but I figured I'd let you know that the SHC characters aren't gone forever. My idea would involve the entire SHC cast, though some names/appearances/personalities may undergo changes. Also, I might exclude Anita because she was, admittedly, my least favorite to write and might not fit in with the new setting. Other than that, the IF would explore an interesting alternative to the SHC narrative— for example, the character equivalent to Basil Laurier would actually be a practicing lawyer in this one. Another prominent change would be the inclusion of Sawyer Wright-Garcia as a full RO. They’re the only one I actually have a clear mental image for as to where their story would go, and it is… nuts.

Without spoiling too much, the plot and setting would be very different. It'd be horror, except it'd start out very unassuming, light-hearted and sitcom-y, only to then spiral. I feel like I'd enjoy causing that kind of whiplash. Anyhow, that's that. I hope that if you liked and perhaps miss SHC, this post helped at least a little bit.

[reasonsforhope]

One of the things that I really appreciate about this blog is that now, every now and then, when I hear about some new awful thing in the world, it will be in the context of "and this is what people are doing to fight it". That's so much less paralyzing.

(If you have any sources to recommend for experiencing more of that, me and my mental health would be further indebted.)

Ahhh, I forgot about this message, sorry! Been a hectic couple of months.

I absolutely have more sources!

One of the biggest is the media collaboration The Solutions Journalism Network, which focuses on just that: closing the massive gap between people reporting on problems and people reporting solutions.

I have a giant bookmark list of sources for this blog, for good news stories and hope, so here's a bunch of links! Roughly in order of how good I think they are (in terms of size of stories, previously uncovered stories, good editorial standards, accuracy, detail, number of stories, etc. etc.)

We're gonna start with the ones that do good news ONLY, because sometimes you fucking need that, and then below I'll link some excellent sources that have a higher than average number of quality pieces on good news, even though they also publish other stuff too.

Good and hopeful news sources:

Future Crunch - If you only read one of these sites, read this one!!! It's a MASSIVE biweekly roundup of international good news stories with really high quality reporting--a lot of UN and WHO and major NGO reports as their sources. I cry from hope at LEAST 30% of the times I read this, and tbh it used to be like 100%, about a year ago when I started realizing that hope for the planet and for humanity was something that was REASONABLE TO HAVE.

Reasons to Be Cheerful - Fewer stories, but FANTASTIC quality of reporting, especially on fantastic local stories, many of them in international communities, that you've definitely never heard of before

Positive.News - Good coverage and especially roundups, mostly Europe-focused.

Good News Network - This one is awesome for the high number and approachability of its stories, but unfortunately also includes more "That's not news that's just a heartwarming anecdote" and "That's not good news it's actually dystopian" pieces than I'd like.

Jane Goodall's Good For All News - Really awesome focus on international issues, a lot of news from Africa, a lot of news about youth organizers and youth-led projects, and a lot of focus on how helping the environment and helping communities are inextricably connected. Yall Jane Goodall is doing SO MUCH amazing work out there even at her age, and most people also have no idea.

Good Black News - Mostly posts on music and entertainment, and doesn't post all that often, but they're great.

Good Good Good

The Good News Hub

Only Good News Daily

( ) for Tomorrow - Directory of grassroots solutions to all types of issues and "proof that no solution is too small to have an impact"

A Plus - Dedicated to uplifting stories in video form. I'm sure they're awesome, I just don't rly use them bc videos can set off my sensory issues

The Happy Broadcast - Illustrated good news tidbits! I haven't been using them much but it looks like they've (recently?) added more text and sources to each image, so I might change that. Illustrations are pretty cute tbh

Sources that publish a lot of good news, but also other not good stuff:

Euronews.Green - Environmental section of European news org

Yes! Magazine - Excellent solutions-focused journalism, excellent focus on BIPOC content and underrepresented communities

TheMayor.EU - EU-focused, discusses a lot of good projects and cool local developments/programs

Grist - Solutions journalism, fantastic corage especially on environmental issues

Mongabay - Billed as "News & Inspiration from Nature's Frontline," they are amazing and have some of the best goddamn reporting I've ever seen. They mean "frontline" very literally: there's a TON of pieces about and by and interviewing communities on the front lines of environmental conflict, especially developing nations and Indigenous communities world wide. That said there's also a lot of bad news on nature's frontline still, while they report a lot of amazing and powerful good news, make sure you're in a resilient mood when you visit this site, because some of the stories are also pretty upsetting.

Indian Country Today and Native News Online - two of the leading news orgs for Indigenous communities in the United States. Kind of like Mongabay in that they have a lot of good news stories from Indigenous communities that often no one else is reporting on, but also plenty of coverage of things that are definitely not good, so better to read when you're in a resilient mood.

If you have any good news sites/sources you'd like to add, please drop them in the replies or comments! I'm always looking for new good news sources (though I def don't always have time to use all of them, rip!). Plus, let's support these sites by giving them some traffic!

We could all use more ways to get some more good news.

[dittydipity]

what is kagepro? - a quick guide

you may be seeing the word "kagepro" around a whole bunch, especially during august, but what the hell is it?

you may have heard or seen something from kagepro without realizing it! you know that vocaloid song, kagerou daze, about the kids who get hit by a truck and are stuck in a timeloop of saving each other? that's actually one of the songs from kagepro.

kagepro, short for the kagerou project, is a series created by vocaloid composer jin (also known as shizen no teki-p). it's a mixed media series that has music, manga, an anime, movie, a radio talk show, books, etc but i’ll try to keep it simple!

basic premise: people who die on 8/15 are taken to another world called the kagerou daze and if they return to the real world, they will have gained a “snake ability” that will turn their eyes red when used. a group of teens that have these abilities form a little gang but are thrown into an endless timeloop.

THE MEDIA

if you want to get into it, there’s a bunch of different ways you can do it, but do keep in mind: each form of media is NOT just a different adaptation of the story.

kagepro is a timeloop story, and each form of media is actually a different timeline (or “route”). the music videos, the anime, the manga, the books - each one is only a piece of the whole story. that’s why many people may have seen the anime, mekakucity actors, and gotten super confused because the anime is actually one of the last routes haha.

but the order of media that has been generally agreed upon to be the most coherent is music videos -> manga -> light novels -> anime

a lot of kagepro media, esp the light novels and manga, are hard to find since they’re almost entirely out of print, but there’s translations or e-book versions of them available, or if you skip them there’s summaries that people have made. you can also ask me if you want :]

music videos

i’ve actually made a couple playlists for the songs! one is in release order and the other is in story chronological order (mostly).

release order: - i tried to get all the original ia/miku versions of the songs with the original pv if there was one - a couple might be a little out of order since some songs came out together in the same album

this is the order that fans got the music, so if you want to try to figure things out and put things together the way we did you can go with this order!

chronological order: - tried to grab some english covers where i could, but if you don’t like eng covers there are plenty of noneng covers or you can use the videos from the other playlist. there's plenty of really great covers out there! - exceptions to the “chronological”: children record acts as the cover/opening song for the series and summertime record is the ending song for the series - some songs aren’t in here bc they’re not part of the music route (they’re mostly from the newer albums and are kinda like ‘epilogue’ songs after the ending of the anime/good ending or are songs made for the anime)

THE STORY

if you don't want to go through all the media yourself, here’s a video explaining the whole story by breadbox/david toth! he also has other really great kagepro videos

[a bit of an extra] a very common misconception about the story/mechanics: people do not have to die in pairs or with somebody else on 8/15 to enter the daze. i didn’t realize this myself until super recently

all in all, the kagerou project is a story about finding strength and support from the people around you, moving on to look towards the future, and overcoming trauma.

there’s definitely other people who have also made guides or summaries or videos that are much better and cover much more than i did, but i hope this was a decent introduction!

feel free to reach out and/or ask me anything! i'm sure there are also plenty of people who would be willing to help newcomers understand kagepro as well :]

happy kagerou day!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for writing a story? ✨ (emoji so I can find this easily)

So around a year and a half ago, as part of a drama exam me and a group of four others had to devise a piece to act out for the exam.

Me and two others who were the actors (the other two did the set and music) ended up really liking the story and characters we were creating for the project and all wanted to expand on the story we'd created for the exam.

The three of us me (currently 16 NB) and the other two who I'll call Alex (currently 17 M) and Rowan (currently 16 NB) made a discord server for the three of us to talk about the characters we'd made together and share ideas for how we'd develop them if we turned the performance we were writing into a story/book series.

This was a lot of fun and at first I really enjoyed discussing ideas about the characters we'd created but after a while I started to find myself disliking some of the others' ideas more and more and wanting to write the series on my own.

I never acted on that though because the three of us were all passionate about our ideas and the characters so the idea of writing my own version felt wrong when the others wanted to write the story too as a group.

Now since then, Rowan has stopped talking to both me and Alex. I haven't heard from Rowan since May and honestly I don't really want to hear from them again because since we stopped talking I realized our friendship really wasn't very healthy for either of us. During this time they deleted discord but their account was still in the server.

Alex had disappeared offline since January but recently returned five months ago. We caught up and at first we talked about our ideas, the characters and how we wanted to turn it into a book series again, during this we kicked Rowan's account from the discord because neither of us spoke with them anymore. After a while we stopped talking much about the characters and our ideas and just started talking about random things. But last week Alex left the discord unannounced and I haven't heard from him at all since.

Now, I know Alex might return sometime like he left and returned before and I know this is pretty soon but while he's gone and since I'm no longer in contact with Rowan, I've found myself wanting to try writing the story myself with complete freedom to write the story I want to write and not have to use the others' ideas that I don't like.

It wouldn't feel so wrong anymore since they're not still there discussing their ideas or talking about how we should all write it together as a group but I do feel a little unsure if this would be an assholeish thing to do. I mean, I'd be writing about the characters we all created together, using the base story idea we all created for the project and I don't know if Alex will return or not yet.

So, would I be the asshole if I wrote the story by myself?

Additional info.

Idk if any of this is relevant but it might help with the judgement/I feel like people would ask for info about this stuff if I didn't add it.

The ideas I disliked were mainly to do with the development of a certain character, a ship that really would not make any sense and Alex wanting to add in a talking magical dinosaur to the plot of what was meant to be a story set in the modern day real world.

We never actually tried to write the story as a group before, we just talked about it.

None of us see each other IRL anymore.

I have got ADHD and autism.

There wouldn't be anything nsfw in the story.

None of the characters were based on any of us.

There are a lot of reasons why mine and Rowan's friendship wasn't healthy for either of us but to give a few reasons we didn't really care about each other's interests (like fandoms), would consistently cancel on hangouts with each other or would get into arguments over stupid stuff and not talk for weeks only to go back to being clingy with each other when we started talking again. Looking back, it was definitely an unhealthy friendship for both of us.

What are these acronyms?

[betweenlands]

[clears throat]

If you’ve recently watched one or more of Legundo’s 100 Days videos, you might have some questions – questions like what’s with all the eyes, who the heck is Decem, what’s an Alteran, how do I get involved in the ARG, why is there chess happening, can I get off Legundo’s wild ride yet, et cetera. This post seeks to answer most of those questions in as straightforward a manner as possible (can’t help with the last one, though – you’re stuck here now!), while also sticking as close as possible to only canon information in order for people to form their own theories. Basically, consider it a brief lore primer for everything 100 Days Multiverse!

But first, a few disclaimers:

This is gonna be a long post. It's going under a readmore. If readmores don't work for you I'm sorry.

This is copied from a WIP document of ours that attempts to record pretty much everything going on in the series, which necessarily means it will at some point become outdated. (Time check: this post was made on 10/14/2023. There are still at least 2 puzzles that haven't been solved yet.) If anything significant comes up I'll try to add it to the summary and therefore that document, but there isn't anything yet.

There will be a lot of “might”, “possibly”, “may or may not have”, “somewhat implied to”, and other various caveats throughout this post. We don’t have a lot of information explicitly stated to be canon at the moment, and while a lot of things seem like sure bets, there’s no telling how unreliable these narrators might be. We don’t like claiming things are canon unless we’re 100% sure that’s the truth, so there’s a lot of weasel words in this summary. You’ll have to forgive us for this one – we prefer to be precise over definitive whenever possible. (And we apologize for not having cited sources here -- if something's incorrect, please call us on it!)

Finally: there is a more official lore document! It contains more details on pretty much everything here, focuses more on puzzle-solving, and also contains a great theorycrafting section -- you can read that here (and thank you to Lucid for creating it!)

Okay. Enough preamble. Let's get into the thick of it.

Legundo has been traveling the multiverse for a while, hopping from modded world to modded world from where he left his S2 Hardcore world behind. He seems to have at least some amount of partial amnesia, as he starts to remember things about his past over time, but to begin with he doesn’t remember (or at least doesn’t seem to remember) where he came from.

Legundo is also not alone – he’s being followed. Strange monoliths appear in certain worlds, made of blackstone/gilded blackstone when “dormant” and obsidian/crying obsidian when “active”. He speaks to these at first as though they can help him, but gradually becomes more and more suspicious of them, and eventually comes to realize they are harbingers of a group of entities/entity called Decem.

Decem has a history with Legundo that unravels throughout the course of the series. They have several associated motifs in addition to the monoliths/crying obsidian – most notably among them are eyes (especially Dimensional Doors) and usage of chess terminology/general references to chess. They also have a custom musical leitmotif -- current link to it here. (You'll usually be able to hear this one or something similar playing around when he stumbles across a monolith, I'm pretty sure.)

Despite “Decem” meaning “ten”, there are actually nine entities in the group, called Aspects. Each Aspect is associated with a different color and has a different title:

the Warrior, red

the Seer, orange

the Historian, yellow

the Merchant, green

the Senator, cyan

the Philosopher, purple

the Noble, pink

the Scientist, grey

the Wizard, black

Members of Decem are prone to infighting and general disagreements on how to solve their problems, especially the problem of Legundo; apparently, at some point Legundo was a member of the group himself, called the Architect and by process of elimination associated with the color blue. Decem seem to want Legundo back, but also don’t seem to fully agree on what method of doing this will be best. Legundo is also not particularly happy about this, referring to his cycle of modded worldhopping as a sort of prison, but he doesn’t seem to remember much (if any) of his past as the Architect.

When the world download for Hardcore S2 was released, viewers were made aware of a new faction, called the Alterans, who appear to be in direct conflict with Decem. While Decem claim that the Alterans are trying to “hide the truth” from us, the Alterans imply that they view their conflict with Decem as a desperate bid for survival (though they do also refer to it as a game of chess). At some point, they did something “ridiculous” as of yet unclear; they also apparently hosted the amnesiac Legundo at some point. Apparently, they were largely against telling him anything about where he came from, although they did “leave him his name” despite it being supposedly risky. It’s unclear if they are the cause of Legundo’s amnesia and/or his leaving Decem, but they certainly don’t want him to remember anything more than he already has. (As of Undercover, it seems extremely likely they are at the very least the cause of the Architect’s fall.)

Decem has a tendency to speak directly to viewers of 100 Days Multiverse videos, especially when Legundo dies or when other glitches occur. When this happens, they tend to leave links to hidden videos/audio clips and/or puzzles that lead to these things. As of right now, they appear to be offering the viewers who have solved their puzzles some sort of job, and may also be showing up on the viewer SMP during its fifth season (the chronology of this is very unclear – see Undercover). It’s unclear what this position within Decem entails, although given their chess motif it’s probably not an unreasonable assumption to say that they are recruiting new pawns.

[lixxen]

Danny Phantom Headcanons/World Building (Masterpost)

So I rewatched Danny Phantom within the last week (of the time of creating this) and forgot how much I love it. I'm falling back down the rabbit hole and have started to collect my own HC/world building. This is just a collection of me putting ideas together that my brain was rattling off while watching and a few wiki deep dives. This will probably change as I get more into things and read more fanon. But like. This isn't canon stuff at all and is meant more as a base of operations for any fics I'm gonna write for AO3/drabbles for Tumblr.

Content warnings: mentioned of childhood trauma, minor graphic descriptions, talk about death

---

I was into DP as a kid but was never into the fanbase and online spaces. So some of this is from me as a kid/teenager interpreting the show on my own. And sorry if it contradicts canon or is similar to what other people have said before. Genuinely most of this is from me as a kid or just me rewatching the show. I've noticed some of the things I already was thinking about in fics or in a few posts I've seen floating around.

---

Danny specific

Danny did die in The Accident, but was practically zapped back to life at the same time due to the Ghost Zone choosing him. It rewrote his DNA, so he was still a functioning human but with Ghost DNA. Unlike Vlad, whose DNA was just rewritten since he was hit with a pure blast of eco-energy. So think of it as like dying in the hospital but automatically being resuscitated but the resuscitation alters your DNA.

Danny doesn't need to sleep or eat a lot of human food often if he doesn't exhaust his human form. Human functions only apply to his human half, so if he stays in his Ghost half then he will not get tired or hungry in that form. But when he transforms back, he will feel it and need to eat or sleep off what he's done as a human.

He needs to consume/absorb ectoplasm just as much as he needs to eat food. It is more of a balance in his system between Ghost and human. So he will eat ectoplasm (normally while in ghost form but he will do it in his human form since it doesn't matter which form, unlike human food).

Danny's Haunt is Amity Park (see Ghost Haunts)

He is the Ghost Zone's core, as he was chosen by the Ghost Zone (see Ghost Cores).

His own core is an ice core.

Jazz and Danny are very close from a young age since their parents are more or less absent. She raises Danny practically, and once he gets into high school and The Accident happens he drifts because of the secret. This is why Jazz throws herself into psychology.

Danny gained Jazz's music taste over the years from exposure, so he likes different genres and doesn't really have a favorite. Jazz recently has an emo phase before The Accident, so he currently enjoys rock, alt rock, and general alt music ATM. He likes pop because that's the genre his peers are into (like Ember). He's never really had a big opinion about music, so he just listens to what is around him

Out of some of the alt rock bands, he listens to what's popular. Jazz showed him Fall Out Boy and Set It Off first to ease him into it, and he likes them.

Danny's ghostly tied item is a small rocket ship toy his parents bought him (see Ghostly tied items. Also called Ghost objects)

Danny is a trans man, but in Reality Trip he may have changed this. I might expand on this, but as a trans person I automatically saw the opportunity and after that we see him without a shirt so I made jokes about how he changed himself to be cis.

I also see him as bisexual, female preference. But he doesn't really think it's important to label his sexuality and has only really had three crushes and he's 14 when he realizes it because he gets a crush on a random guy for two seconds then moves on. He's 14 he doesn't need to have it figured out, y'know? I didn't when I was his age so it doesn't actually matter to him. He just knows he's fruity

Danny has nightmares. Bad nightmares. Nightmares of being dissected by his parents, Amity Park mobbing him for a witch hunt, his friends dying, of Dan (TUE evil Danny will be referred to as Dan) coming back. Stuff like that.

Danny is touch starved from an absent parent childhood. Don't get him wrong, they were there and showed him love and they're so proud of him. But they weren't... there. Y'know? They would give him hugs here and there but he doesn't have positive physical contact memories. So whenever his friends hug him he loves it. When they hold hands he loves it.

Danny and Tucker are close. In the way that when they were younger they'd take naps next to each other. They're platonic and people thought they were dating in middle school before Sam joined them. Sam wasn't always goth and was more opened up in middle school. But 8th grade hit and she saw Jazz go into her emo phase and she found goth and that scene understood how she felt inside (insert Sam's trauma from being in a picture perfect family and the pressure coupled up with her parents controlling her every move. And she just doesn't like pink and light colored stuff y'know). Sam also enjoys the contact, but only from her friends and mom. She loves her mom. I got off topic, but she would never actually use the photo against them. Besides, she partook in the sleep pile and still does. They just never talk about it.

He's called Daniel (aka full named) by Vlad and Lancer because it's them genuinely respecting his identity. Lancer did it to reinforce the name. The town is actually very pro-trans and accepted Danny with ease. But some people still messed up, y'know. So Lancer does his best (he cares deeply about his students)

Talking about Lancer; he noticed Danny's changes in behavior. After Danny spent a few days in the hospital for The Accident, Danny changed. He is constantly worried for Danny.

Dash and the popular kids also noticed and let up for a bit and did feel bad for him. On days he's visibly not feeling good, they don't bully him. They're not heartless. Just bullies.

The class knows he was in an ecto based accident, so they think that's why he's a bit weird and the ghosts are attracted to him. Even if others don't believe it, they just go along with it for the sake of Danny

Danny is also the Ghost King. After defeating Pariah Dark, the recrowning process starts and months later he ends up being King. Clockwork hints that this was planned from before he was born since he knows how time will go. Clockwork had made sure he got to this point.

Danny begrudgingly became king and is actually quite happy with it. The ghosts treat him slightly better and they've come to a mutual understanding with Danny.

Danny really likes space and he has a collection of space books and rocket ship models. He's been to Cape Canaveral multiple times with his family and he used to spend nights on his roof with Jazz looking at constellations. That's why when they went to camp that Sam made them watch the stars. She knew that he wanted to be an astronaut and admired the stars

Danny's ghostly obsession is protection (see Ghostly obsessions). Since he is half ghost, he isn't always having to obey his ghostly obsession. But he doesn't have a say in it. Some days he is strongly attached to it, when something triggers it or it's just one of those days. Then sometimes he has almost no connection to it. It's why sometimes he would rather not deal with everything and wants to give up his powers (or doesn't care) then turns around and is over protective. But in the end, it's protection because his subconscious recognizes he should have been protected from the accident and that no one looked after him to stop it.

Danny also never gets sick. If something's up, it's ghost related.

Being Ghost King means that he is one of the most powerful ghosts. He just is too young and inexperienced to understand and be able to use his power. We already know Dan was the most powerful, so its possible.

Have I mentioned that he is begrudgingly King, so whenever he is interrupted in his daily life for King duties, he is openly annoyed.

The ghosts fetching him will overshadow his classmates to talk to him, or Sam and Tucker, since he made it clear his human life cannot cross paths. They respect their king so after the first time of him enforcing it they just stuck to overshadowing.

Danny is 100% repelled by blood blossoms as a ghost and is only allergic as human. He will sneeze if he smells them, get rashes and hives if he touches them. If he ingests small amounts he will just get sick and poisoned, throat will swell slightly and tongue goes numb. He may have bad stomach problems. But if he eats a lot it can possibly send him into anaphylactic shock. (I have more on blood blossoms later)

Danny does have gnarly scarring on his chest and back from the Accident. It disappears into his skin as a ghost, since ghosts seem to not show injuries or death related scars on them. But as a human they're raised; some parts pink and some white. They spiderweb across his chest and back, blossoming out of his right (our left) side. He has some on the back of his neck and there's a few underneath his hair (which is thick enough to cover). There's a few scarring on his arms and hands, but they're small enough to not be noticed.

His eyes used to be fully blue, like an icey lighter blue with dark blue edges, but around the edges are little spikes of green that you can't see unless you're close and looking into them. Dash noticed it one day when he pushed Danny against a wall and commented on it. Danny called him a weirdo for looking into his eyes enough to notice.

He will get phantom pains randomly in his chest. They're from his organs being damaged from the Accident and his core sits near where his heart is when he's a ghost, so if his core is hurt then his heart aches. Vice versa.

Danny's death was horrible and every once in a while he gets flashes of it. His ghost and human half will try to fully take over and he will have the feeling shoot through him and he kinda jolts. His eyes will change slightly, just a moment of flickering.

Danny always has a pull or need to go into the Ghost Zone. It's like his DNA is calling to go home and absorb the natural energy. It is also because he is the core of the Ghost Zone (will be explained later)

I feel like Danny would have trust issues and PTSD. He'd hate sudden loud noises and sudden blinding light. It will shake him to the core because of the accident. He doesn't like thunder and lightning (the type that lights up the room and is really close and blinding. Not the distant little line in the sky ones)

I feel like he would also not have a good sense of self identity. He would feel alienated from humans AND ghosts because of how Ghosts don't treat him like normal, and how humans just aren't the same anymore and the ones who know treat him differently. Even if the ones who don't know, he just can't fully relate anymore. He also can't be close to the only two (technically) who can relate since Dani isn't around and he doesn't trust Vlad. Makes him uneasy and feel like shit constantly. (Also the fact that he doesn't feel like a guy fully and can't relate to girls anymore but has the lingering connection. Y'know, trans stuff).

Human world

A lot of this is set Post-S2 and Pre-Phanton Planet and most of S3, so Vlad is mayor but no one besides Sam, Tucker, and Jazz know for (canon) humans. Thought I'd give a timeline.

The town LOVES Phantom. After a year or two of him openly saving people, they treat him differently. The Fentons still don't like him but barely tolerate him. They'll try to capture him still and want to dissect him.

The town as a whole think the Fentons are crackjobs that shouldn't have the funding they do, but if they're managing ghost levels with Phantom then they're okay to stay. They also acknowledge that as destructive as the two parents are, they do actually help and know what they're doing

There's different types of ghost hunters in the world; theology based and science based. It depends what region you're from and your roots.

There are people like the Fentons, Men in White, and the various others we see who are science based and somewhat understand very basic ghost biology and rules because they studied it and went to school for it (or have scientist families).

Then there's theology based hunters (who would best be compared to the Winchesters in SPN) who come from lines of old school hunters. The theology hunters are just as valid because their system works (salt and iron work, holy water depends on the type). But the scientific world laughs at them because they're seen as archaic and outdated.

Blood blossoms were bred centuries ago by the original theology hunters. The legend states that a hunter received seeds from their god and was told to burry it in salt and iron inside of a graveyard. The flowers grew into blood red flowers and kept ghosts away. They were bred with a few other flowers to have them in different regions. There are no cases of allergies or being harmful to humans, even for ones that were centuries ago crossbred with flowers that are known to not be good for consumption. They seem to always be edible to humans and are grown in churches and graveyards specifically. They taste like rose and sweet, according to people who have access to them.

The town didn't believe in ghosts at first, but did halfway through S1.

Wes exists in this. I know enough about Wes to say that he just happens to be a ginger look alike to Danny and they were friends in middle school. His parents told him to stop being friends with Danny, especially post-accident. He is one of the first to realize Danny is Phantom and isn't fixed in Reality Trip since Danny thinks it's HILARIOUS. And nobody believes Wes.

Word travels quickly in this small town, like normal. So there's a giant gossip mill; being anywhere near the popular kids will give you a chance to hear just about anything and you can get about anything in there if you talk loud about. Tucker and Sam use this to their advantage sometimes. So do other students. It's great

The town loves Vlad, but think he's weird as hell. They can tell he beefs with Danny but doesn't know why.

Talking bout Vlad, his ghostly obsession is being loved. That's why he is so obsessed with Maddie Fenton. When he found out Danny was half ghost like him, he was added to the need for love. He wants Danny to love him like a father just as much as Maddie to love him as a husband. But as Maddie rejects him, he starts to shift his focus more on Danny becoming his son. He acknowledges that Danny will never want to be his kid, so that's why he creates the clones. He's a really lonely dude and his obsession is what basically corrupted him and turned him evil, from being unchecked and never balanced. If he was regulated like Danny, he would be just like Danny and less effected by it.

For the clones, Dani was actually the perfect clone because she was the only female clone. Vlad just didn't like that and so he wanted to have a perfect male one to be respectful to Danny. But he realized it later on and that's why he wanted Dani to come back and stabilize her after he lost the Perfect Clone.

The other clones weren't perfect, which led to them being barely sentient. They were ghost alive. But... they were practically hive minded.

Anyways, Dani is just out in the world stabilized now. She came back and got Dani to use his cool King powers to fix her. She still met Valerie and D-Stabalized events kinda happened but not at that time and exact. So Valerie knows about Dani and likes her. Y'know? You do.

Valerie figures out Vlad isn't a great dude, but she's gonna use his resources and just go along with his shit and kinda comes to an agreement with Vlad. Vlad does slightly care about her through proxy because of Danny.

Vlad doesn't personally care about people in Danny's life, but goddamn is he gonna by proxy care because he wants Danny to be happy. Vlad also does care about Jazz. Just not as much sadly.

Jazz is liked by the popular kids by the way. She's a bit weird, she's a Fenton. But they think she's very pretty and Jazz helps them pass classes. So who cares if she's related to the loser kid? She's older and cool in their eyes.

Jazz knows this. She's very smart. But she takes any friendship she can get.

I think I genuinely need to talk about Jack and Maddie for a second. They're not bad parents... they're just... they're not good parents. They genuinely love their kids. Jazz and Danny are the highlights of their life and they'd do anything to protect them. They just get carried away and are just too focused on their work so they became very absent and just not good parents. They never meant to be like this and they just never realized how badly it has gone. They don't realize the implications of growing up around aggressive environments are. They're not aggressive to the children, but seeing parents be aggressive in that degree to the point of making weapons will do something to kids. Even if the kids are just annoyed at this point. Jazz recognizes this and that's why she spent so much time trying to support Danny in the way she never got.

Also, the world does view Amity Park as one of the most haunted places. But they think it's more gimmick like. And since they don't have any hotels or Airbnb, no one really visits. The town made sure to not let hotels build in their town for this reason. The only thing you'll get is an Inn fifteen miles outside town limits. People do visit for ghosts. But it's not like people do for Salem or Point Pleasant.

His class over time realizes Danny is actually important to the ghosts because of small occurrences. But they don't know who he is. Eventually, they will find out one by one and be relatively chill about it in front of Danny. Only in front of Danny. Behind his back they're like oh my god he's phantom, king of ghosts. Guys what the fuc-

Ghost Zone/Ghosts

To start it off, there are different levels of ghosts. There's a hierarchy based off of power and respect. The more powerful you are, the higher you are and respected. There can be higher ghosts who aren't powerful due to respect.

There's the regular ones that we see, the Ancient ones that are canon, then there's the ghoul looking ones that are just generic and their obsession/items are fairly simple so they aren't too out there and can be controlled by others, then blob ones that are barely sentient. The blobs are usually animal souls that don't end up like Wulf or the other animal ones we've had episodes around.

Ghosts are created by extreme emotion and are fueled by human emotion and ectoplasm. Either they died with a ton of emotion or someone had too much emotion surrounding their death (that's why blobs tend to be pets that died. Or ghoul like ones had enough people shocked and upset over their death).

Their bodies run off of ectoplasm and ecto energy, which holds them together and fuels them. It allows them to conjure themselves and exist because the Ghost Zone gives it to them.

They are drawn to people who have been exposed to major ecto energy (which would be why they're drawn to Amity Park. So much exposure everywhere. So much) or heavy emotions. Which is why a lot of them feed off of them too

Ghost Cores are the metaphorical hearts and souls of ghosts. It hold their emotion and energy together. It fuels them and keeps them pulled together. If you get rid of the core/destroy it, the Ghost is completely gone. It cannot move on. It cannot reform. It's deader than dead. If you harm the core simply, they can barely keep form. They kinda become goopy and become extremely tangible. It causes their being to not keep.

There are different types of cores, as such in canon. You can have mixed cores or normal cores. Depends on your powers and your color is based off of your alignment and core.

Ghostly obsessions is what raw emotion effected the ghost. They could have had this obsession all their life, like Box Ghost loving boxes, or having to surround their death, like Danny's being protection. They are compelled by their obsession. They must follow it and are obsessed. They can be normal sometimes, but it's only when their obsession is not being challenged. That is your very being because it fuels your core with that very emotion and can give you powers.

Your ghostly tied item/ghost item is what you are tied to in the real world and you are tethered to. If it is destroyed, you are forced to move on. It isn't like the core, as that is the heart/soul. This is more like a leash that allows them to be connected to the human world and not just the Ghost Zone. Some ghosts don't know what it is or where it is. But Johnny 13 has his bike, Pandora's is her box. Danny's is a rocket replica because his parents gave it to him and he protects it. But some of them simply don't know where it is and don't care. Some have things that were buried with them or clothing they loved. They're still around because someone just hasn't destroyed or found it yet.

A blob's ghost item could be a collar or favorite toy if it was a pet. Things that are kept as memories.

A ghost haunt applies to a ghost that mainly resides in the human world, like Danny. They own that area and it is theirs. They usually do not have a lair in the Ghost Zone because they're the same thing, but on the human plane. But ghosts tend to get aggressive towards other ghosts who enter their haunt, so that's why Danny is a bit aggressive. Especially as he gets older and more in tune with being half ghost.

A ghost lair is simply just the ghost's claimed area in the Ghost Zone. Most have them and blobs and more ghoul looking ones will freely roam since they aren't powerful or "important"/high enough. They will tho, if they have a master to serve, stay with them. Laira are usually guarded and keep territorial ties to their owner, but not as strong as a haunt.

Ghosts with haunts will routinely go back into the Ghost Zone. This is for health, survival instincts, or for other reasons. Portals tend to appear more often in haunts because of this.

Ghosts need ectoplasm to survive. Simple. That's why they go in and out of the Ghost Zone a lot of they're in the human realm

The ecto weapons use ectoplasm and reverse engineers it to harm them. Reverse polarity and all. And the reason why salt/iron/holy water works on them is because it purifies and can control the energy. Plus, since they're based off of emotion, if enough people will it to work it will.

Blood blossoms effect them so well because of this. The salt and iron in the breeding mixed with the pure belief. And at some point someone started to soak the seeds in the reversed ectoplasm. But humans don't know that. They're just hardcore believers.

The Ghost zone is partially sentient. That's how it opens up portals and controls ectoplasmic levels. It is a realm made of ecto energy and ectoplasm in the end, so it makes sense. It was crated because human souls needed a limbo between reincarnation (hell/heaven doesn't actually exist in my version. Just a limbo and a few other realms that will be mentioned later). The Ghost Zone needs a core to keep it all together, and it tends to choose a ghost to be it's core. But it chooses very carefully and can move the core to a new ghost if it senses danger. Self preservation.

The Zone chose Danny because it knew it could trust Danny. Which is why Danny is destined to be inherently the most powerful. And the Ghost Zone can loosely be understood by the ancient ones, like Clockwork and Observers. And now Danny.

Every Ghost can speak Ghost Speak. It is an old language that Latin is based off of loosely. Humans cannot understand it. Some have loosely learned it and have trained to understand it. But it's very difficult since they don't have the right vocal chords. Or... have them. Ghosts don't actually have them.

Ghosts can switch freely between whatever human language they speak and then ghost. While speaking to other ghosts, especially in the Ghost zone, they speak in ghost speak. That's how they all understand each other and not have to learn a new human language. It's quite literally in their brain hardwired. It's the ectoplasm and ghost zone doing it. Plus the Ghost zone likes to slightly give mind them so it needs them to know it.

Death day is when they died. It's normally not that pleasant of a day because they can feel how they died throughout the day. Some relive it as a death echo if they're on the human plane, then some just have flashbacks. Some just relive the pain. Normally they like to be alone. But some will be with others. They are literally reliving their deaths because their energy is all jazzed and upset. It's a horrible reminder.

Death days are treated like sad birthdays. So it'll be a truce for that specific ghost and normally the others will give them things to make them feel better. Like... small gifts or words of encouragement. Or if they know their obsession, something to do with it.

Death echoes are not fun. There are a few ghosts who are always trapped in them and have to be released, those are normally weaker ghosts who don't have enough energy to move to the zone so they're trapped. But the stronger ones will leave an echo of energy at their death; which means that if they're on the human plane when death day comes they will reunite with the echo and be stuck in it until the time of death. They will not be themselves, but the fragment of the bit leading up to their death. A literal ghost of themselves being forced in a loop of their death. Think about yelling down a large tunnel and it echoes forever, except when you go back a year later you're forced to keep doing it until the original one is due at the same time.

The final echo will actually physically effect them as they're let go of the echo (for that year). The effects will disappear. (So for example, Danny for the whole day if he's in Amity Park will be stuck as a translucent almost non sentient, not knowing what's going on around him, replay of the Accident. Whoever is there will watch it happen again and again, but only him and not the others, until it comes time for his death and he comes out looking burn and electrocuted. Then it'll disappear and he'll be normal. No memory of the day besides the pain of the last one)

The Ghost zone can't really stop the echo unless they're inside the ghost zone. It contains them and protects them, so that's why they will leave their haunts or just go back for the day.

There is actual royalty, which is the Ghost King and and his court. The king can marry and have a queen. There can be ghost queen as rulers if a girl wings the crown. It just so happens the last two/three have been guys. Whoever rule's full title is king/queen ruler then their partner is king/queen consort. There can be two kings or two queens this way, and it's even gender wise. Yippee. Princes/princesses are children and do not actually hold any right to the thrown unless their ruler turns it over or they overthrow. It's a formality and political status out of respect. It barely happens.

The Ghost King is earned by right of conquest. So Danny challenging Pariah Dark and winning meant that he stripped Pariah of his crown and title. Everyone involved could lay claim if Danny does not take the crown and challenge Danny. And if someone does challenge Danny, then the ghosts will be able to access whether or not they actually do have the right or should be allowed.

Vlad actually challenged the right, but most of the ghosts knew Vlad was a bad option and vetoed him before Danny even knew what was going on. Vlad knew exactly what was happening and that's why he wanted to awaken him. He just... didn't plan out the events that unfolded.

But how normally the crowning works is that the crown would return to the Ghost Zone, and the Zone would present it to one of the Ancients. Whoever defeated the previous king will automatically receive title of Prince (which Danny didn't know but the others knew). The Ancient will then send out lesser ghosts or allies of the newly titled Prince to announce their new right. They will be brought to a coronation ceremony where they will accept or decline.

If they accept, they will be bound to the title and they will gain new powers literally and metaphorically. They will gain the King's Keep as a new lair. And they will be diplomatically/politically responsible for the new era

The King's court is mostly appointed with the exception of the higher ranking ghosts. They have a right to be on there.

The Ghost King is what people precieve as Satan/Lucifer/the Devil actually. But in the sake of continuity, they're just summoning the Ghost King by that name. Y'know. Only the religious folk call him by religious titles. Same dude.

This ties into the fact that the Ghost King and other ghosts can be summoned. Anything having to do with king/Satan/devil summonings the Ghost Zone will literally route to the Ghost King. Most "powerful ghost/demon" ones will more than likely be a powerful ghost, but the ghost zone will put the king in there also. If someone isn't specific in the summoning, they'll get someone with a related obsession to their goal or just a lower level generic ghost (probably a ghoul like one).

Which means Danny will be summoned from time to time. He can easily get back since it's a portal that can't be seen besides the summoned. Silly stuff tbh. People don't do it too much, but it's often enough to make him have a system for it.

Half Ghosts only have two natural cases and one unnatural. Dani isn't considered a true half ghost by the ghosts since she is a clone. They don't see her as anything other than a clone of Danny who is now her own person. They treat Danny and Vlad the same.

The term Halfa is the term for being half ghost, and most ghosts don't necessarily mean it in a mean way since it's just their slang term for half ghost. But some do use it in a mean way (the ones who don't like humans and hate the idea that two powerful ghosts are half human. Some ghosts are just dicks and use the term blob in the same way)

Since Danny doesn't talk about half ghosts to other ghosts a lot, he doesn't use the term. Sam and Tucker were confused when he first said it and looked a bit concerned. He explained what it means and they just nodded slowly. His friends personally don't like it, but just don't use it unless talking to ghosts.

A lot of the more powerful ghosts don't like it when the humans call them anything besides ghost or ectos, especially when they're called ghoulies. When they're called ghoulies they see it as being deemed the same as lower powered and they get offended.

Don't ask a ghost how they died. You don't need to ask exactly what their obsession is; if you can figure it out you can be like "oh this is it." But asking directly is a bit weird and rude. And don't ask them directly what their ghostly tied item is. Usually it's personal. C'mon guys. You wouldn't ask someone their deepest personal trauma. Why would you do that to them??

Also, it should be obvious that not all ghosts are evil. But a lot of them are just mean spirited or the emotions that made them aren't nice so they just... yeah. They can be good and nice people obviously. They just don't tend to be all the time

Also, Christmas truce came from three kings ago. Pariah Dark's full reign when he wasn't locked up caused a pause, but when he was locked up it continued.

Other

There's other realms, like the dream realm and the area outside of time that Clockwork lives in.

The Observers also live in the area outside of time, but do follow the main continuity of time. They do not care about the other continuities or timelines. The timelines exist but aren't the main one, so they don't really matter. Just branches that fizzle out after a bit. The Observers' job, along with Clockwork, is to protect the main one. Think kinda like TVA except like... you obey a realm and not some man playing god. And they don't just cut off the timelines. They just redirect the main one and let the others naturally fizzle out

There are Ghosts of __, like how we have the ghost of time and dreams. They're powerful and are important for the Infinite Realms to exist. Clockwork knows where to find them if needed, as he is one. Nocturn is kinda just an asshole and Clockwork keeps him in check. He knew Nocturn wouldn't win so he let the guy have his fun and then kinda reprimanded him on the side

Dan also exists outside of time now. Clockwork lets him outside the thermos sometimes and has put a blocker on his powers so he can't use them. Dan says it's inhumane and Clockwork hits him with a "maybe don't kill a ton of people and ruin the timeline. Ever thought of that?" (Obviously not exact words). It works. Dan is just glad to be out of that thermos.

Dan also really wants to meet Dani. Clockwork shows her story to him, and even though Dan doesn't have his human side he is interested in her and want to know more.

I just really want Dan to eventually get some humanity back and Clockwork is a manipulative ass, so he would use Dani as a tactic.

[rozieramati]

11/21/24

i think i am uncomfortable with being seen unless it is within the context of being seen. like typically i'm okay on a stage or on social media (because it comes with context of being seen.) where i lose comfortability is being seen in a context where one is typically invisible: a grocery store, in the crowd of a concert, a cafe. that's where i sort of want to recoil into a shell and only talk to people who have experienced the same. i sort of had this realization recently that people know who i am, even when i don't know who they are. it didn't fully click in my head until yesterday. i still feel like a completely unknown and unimportant artist so i tend to just forget the fact that i've had a public social media presence for a long time. i don't know why but unless something is screaming in my face everyday and blatantly obvious i won't see it. even still in that scenario, i might not see it. i'm blind to myself in a lot of ways, always have been. it has always taken people on the outside to bring these truths to me on a silver platter for me to really see. at least, particularly in relation to how people percieve me. that's the main way i lose sight of what's actually happening. i've been the most social i've been in years in the past couple weeks and it's struck me with an uncomfortable truth. the truth that i am a musician and people listen to my music, strangers even, and i have somehow impacted them despite never knowing them. it's incredibly beautiful and overwhelmingly everything i've ever wanted. but it's also completely foreign to how i've perceived myself and how i thought people percieved me. i get so lost in my mind about wanting to be friends with and pleasing people that i forget there is this entire image of my life that could be intimidating or could impact how people approach me. i also don't want to think that way though but i... kind of have to. for so many reasons. it's a strange way to exist. i don't know how to approach this. i'm writing into the abyss trying to find an answer. one day, i hope it comes.

[ccrisntok]

TW// Blood, Implied Death, Suicidal thoughts/actions, Violence, Homophobia, Mentions of SA (Basically all the stuff that happens it Heathers: The Musical.)

this is really long and you kind of have to know the plot of Heathers to understand it. Major spoilers for DRDT and Heathers btw

Ayoo, I'm here with some doodles and basic story outlines based off of @another-danganronpa-fan's DRDT + Heathers au! I took some like, creative liberties I guess. Didn't really change things at all, but added a lot of things! Sorry if I messed with your au a bit too much haha. (Also this is probably not the only doodles I'll make about this au it has snatched my brain.)

I'll explain some stuff along the way.

Xander as Veronica! (He still has his eye, its just sensitive to light and a different color). I feel like you could switch Xander and Teruko and the au would still work, but as the creator of the au explained, Xander just *barely* makes more sense as Veronica. He's more optimistic than Teruko is, and more willing to trust others. Also, David is a Heather in this au, so it makes sense that Xander would idolize them. Also also, we see canonically that Xander hates murder, but will do it if he really thinks it's necessary. I don't think he would kill people in this au on purpose though, and still feel as bad, if not worse about it than Veronica does.

Teruko as JD: Pretty obvious. Troubled family past, prone to violence if necessary, extremely distrustful of others? i don't really know if her luck would be a factor in this au, but if it was, it would probably explain why her life is so messed up. She'd kill some bitches.

Arturo as Heather Chandler. I feel like he's the only person in the cast who would be a big enough dick to be Heather C, and his obsession with beauty could be a factor of why he treats everyone like minions instead of people. He would probably die the same way, and for the same reasons as Heather C. Poisoned after making Xander and Teruko mad. His red ribbon... tie, thing would be the "red scrunchy" of this au.

David as Heather Duke: Yeah. Like, I feel like he fits her to a tee. After Art dies, he takes place as the leading Heather, and becomes a total asshole (probably similar to his breakdown in cannon). Also, since Arei is Heather Mac, it would make sense for him to try and force her into suicide, since that's what he insists he does in cannon. He may give Xander some hair-clips as a show of friendship.

Arei as Heather Mac: This one seems weird at first, but this Arei is in the middle of her redemption arch (for reasons that will be explained later). She's more snarky than cannon Mac, but also is going through a lot of mental turmoil. I'd say her sisters are still around. and her home life is pretty terrible, so she relishes in the power being a Heather gave her. Until she meets Eden, and realizes how little being powerful in high school matters.

Eden as: Martha! I made quite a few changes to her character, because her being in love with the Ram of this au wouldn't have worked. So I made her in love with Arei. Obviously, in cannon Heathers, Veronica helps forge a love confession to make a fool out of Martha, and I feel like Xander would be pressured to do the same thing. In doing this, he could also end up outing her publicly, admittedly probably not thinking about that as a factor (can you tell this part of the au is where I'm most passionate hflkas).

I feel like Xander wouldn't have bad intentions with outing Eden, but he still does it accidently, probably being like "THERES MORE GIRLS IN THE SEA BESTIE, FIND A BETTER ONE" in a crowed room while wasted.

I also feel like these feelings would be ACTUALLY mutual, unlike Martha's feelings for Ram. I added this in because I just don't think Arei and Arturo would be very close, or "Ram and Kurt", but seeing Eden's recent public humiliation added to her "friends" deaths might push her over the edge. It also would give her a reason to soften up, and fit the Heather Mac role.

Also, hearing about Arei's suicide attempt could also influence to Eden's suicide attempt later, since she doesn't really care about the other people's deaths in this au.

now to my least favorites...

...Ace as Ram, and Levi as Kurt. Hu as Mrs. Fleming makes total sense and I support that wholeheartedly, but Levi and Ace.... are kinda the only ppl who could fit the roles so 💀

I made quite a few changes to these two, the huge, major one being they don't try and SA Xander. There was no way in hell I was making them rapists, in any way shape or form. They're still pieces of shit, just not in that way (fuck Ram and Kurt in actual Heathers frfr I HATE those men oh my god JD was so based.)

Now, Ace and Levi are most definitely still jocks, and bullies. Ace would probably more of a harasser, while Levi is the one beating people up. As mentioned in my little doodle, Ace is only popular bc he "plays sports", rides horses I guess, and is rich, and Levi hangs out with him for only those reasons. Also probably a little gay idk

Instead of trying to SA Xander and lie about him sleeping with them, in this au Ace and Levi lie about Xander beating up Ace for no reason.

Levi is actually the one who beat up Ace, and idk, either Ace lies about it out of spite to Xander, or just doesn't remember and assumes its Xander. I'd say the remaining Heathers, Ace, Levi and Xander get super drunk in the woods or something (idk why Xander would be invited or show up but why not) and Ace said some dumb shit and got beaten up.

This gives both Teruko (for beating their asses before) AND Xander a violent rep, and Xander hates that, so he's pretty pissed. I'd say Xander would challenge them to a real fight, Teruko would bring the fake (very, very real) gun, and hilarity ensues (Ace and Levi get shot.)

Since Xander thought this was a harmless prank, he's pretty traumatized ofc

Then ofc, Teruko and Xander forge a suicide note. It would probably be like "oh yeah we were gay or whatever but levi beat me up so i killed him then myself."

ofc Xander is haunted by the ghosties he murdered <3

uhhh I haven't drawn the saddest parts of the au yet so get ready for a part 2 😈😈😈 which will also prob include better refs.

this was so long omg I'm sorry. this is gonna take tons of tags djssfklafhdls

[jcs-study]

Thinking About JCS Too Much, Vol. 1: "Jaded Mandarin" - Lost in Translation?

Intro

In my second attempt at an introduction for this blog, I pondered aloud, "Ever wonder if you’re too big a fan of your favorite piece of entertainment?" Suffice it to say, that is far from the only time that thought has crossed my mind.

You see, unlike many faded celebrities attempting to jump-start their careers afresh by "finding religion," I followed the opposite path. I don’t remember hearing about God, Jesus, or anything like that before a certain age. I was about 4 when I first started becoming aware of religion. Something related to Christendom spawned a cover story in Time magazine, and they had this beautiful traditional artwork of Jesus on the front that caught my eye. I became obsessed with religion in general, and the Christ story in particular. (Even today a lot of my extracurricular reading is devoted to religious fiction and non-fictional religious studies, and the shelves of my film collection are strewn with biblical epics, both Old Testament and New. I’m by no means invested in the Abrahamic faiths -- in fact, I'm now an avowed atheist -- but I won’t deny that I’m very knowledgeable about them.)

This obsession led me to Jesus Christ Superstar, and so my life as a show biz professional, and my switch from a special interest (yay, spectrum!) in religion and the surrounding scholarship to one in a single telling of a story that happens to deal with religious subject matter, began.

Naturally, this has led to a few embarrassing incidents of over-thinking where I nerd out just a little too much, primarily from a literary perspective. (Case in point: my answer to a recent question posed to this blog about the lack of a detail from the biblical story in the show. Did I need to go "all in" on whether or not Jesus was actually prophesying that Peter would deny him three times by the time a rooster crowed? Probably not. Did I anyway? Oh, c'mon, you've read it by now, don't make me relive it.)

So, in a similar vein, I'm going to periodically write about those moments where I nerd out too much, in hopes that my immense nerdiness will maybe give someone a deeper understanding of the show, even just a small part of it. You've seen one, thanks to an inquiry from an anonymous fellow fan; after the jump, here's another.

Translation vs. Adaptation

Among the many unique features of JCS, it was one of the first musicals of its kind to be widely adapted into the local vernacular when presented internationally, rather than merely importing an English-language cast as the custom used to be.

Besides its mother tongue, JCS can (theoretically) be heard in:

Czech

French

German (anecdotally, it has been reported that the German translation is not the best, which is why many productions in German-speaking countries opt for the English instead; however, that might be about to change, as the production at the Luisenburg Festspiele Wunsiedel this summer is supposed to mark the debut of a new authorized one -- we'll see how it goes!)

Hungarian (there's two Hungarian ones, actually)

Japanese

Polish

Portuguese

Romanian (in a translation recently debuted in, of all places, Chicago)

Russian (there are several, both official and unofficial; we will deal with all of them today)

Spanish (both the European variety and two Mexican ones)

Swedish (at least two that I'm aware of, the original and whatever Ola Salo uses for productions involving him)

(And those are just the ones I know about.)

While I appreciate JCS most in its original language, being a native English speaker myself, I realize translation and adaptation are important, for all the reasons that they usually are: not everybody speaks a foreign language with dexterity, or is capable of processing it at the pace a play or musical is performed; almost without exception, people respond better to the language they grew up speaking, especially in a piece of entertainment; and, most importantly, translation allows ideas and information to spread across cultures, sometimes changing history in the process. (After all, no matter what your religious belief, part of the reason the Bible -- the show's source material, as if you needed a reminder -- has had such an impact on history is the sheer number of translations, which, at last count, is 531 languages.)

However, translation into any language (pro or amateur) is a delicate art, especially where a play or musical is concerned. As Don Bartlett, who has translated Danish, German, Norwegian, Spanish, and Swedish books into English, put it in a piece where several translators were interviewed for The Guardian, “There’s always a tension between being true to the original and being readable.” On the one hand, translating the meanings of words and phrases in a literal way maintains fidelity to the text; on the other, translating sense-for-sense, taking into account the meanings of phrases or whole sentences, can improve readability. And that’s just books… imagine doing this for theater or film!

Personally, I subscribe to the assessment of Edith Grossman (also interviewed in the aforementioned Guardian piece), who once said: “…the most fundamental description of what translators do is that we write — or perhaps rewrite — in language B a work of literature originally composed in language A, hoping that readers of the second language — I mean, of course, readers of the translation — will perceive the text, emotionally and artistically, in a manner that parallels and corresponds to the aesthetic experience of its first readers. This is the translator’s grand ambition. Good translations approach that purpose. Bad translations never leave the starting line.”

(Or, to tie this back into our topic somewhat more closely, I'm mashing together two quotes from two different interviews with the late Herbert Kretzmer, the adaptor of such popular foreign musicals as Les Misérables, Marguerite, and Kristina: "Words have resonance within a culture, they have submarine strengths and meaning. If I wanted a literal translation, I would go to the dictionary. Translation — the very word I rebut and resent, because it minimizes the genuine creativity that I bring to the task. [...] I offer this advice to any lyricist invited to adapt or translate foreign songs into English: Do not follow the original text slavishly. Re-invent the lyric in your own words, remembering that there may be better ways of serving a master than trotting behind him on a leash.")

Nowhere is this job harder than JCS, especially in Russian. As languages, Russian and English are just too different from each other, each very rich in emotional shadings that the other language lacks (or at least conveys differently), to a point that nearly every new production of JCS over there has led to a fresh translation. Tim Rice's unusual wordplay, masterful (at times) in English, is very difficult to convey in a foreign tongue, especially when it can be safely argued that the expression in question is hardly common to its native audience.

The Piece We're Evaluating

As if the title didn't give it away, I speak, of course, of a certain insult Judas hurls at Jesus during their climactic argument at the Last Supper, calling him:

A jaded mandarin A jaded mandarin As a jaded jaded faded jaded jaded mandarin

That's a doozy in English, to say the least. I may have written on this blog previously that I’ve heard enough jokes about the Last Supper being at an all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant or Jesus’ penchant for citrus fruits to be tired of them all.

In case you missed Tim's actual meaning: mandarin is not just a variety of orange, a form of the Chinese language, or a term for an official in any of the nine top grades of the former imperial Chinese civil service (or clothing characteristic of what they’d allegedly wear or porcelain objets d’art depicting them). The root word for mandarin in Hindi means “counselor,” and – unfortunately, given this definition’s origin in unkind Asian racial stereotypes – the term came to refer (in colonialist British parlance) to a powerful official or senior bureaucrat, especially one perceived as reactionary and secretive. When he calls Jesus a “jaded mandarin,” Judas is saying that Jesus is corrupt, washed up, and useless as a leader.

Could Tim Rice have found a better way to say that? Probably. But this is the method he chose, and for better or worse, it has gone down in history ever since, including a recent parodic reference in the second season of the Apple TV+ series Schmigadoon! to a “sour macaroon.”

Now, it took all that explanation to convey its meaning in English. How well do you think it crossed over to Russian? Well, no less than 16 translators decided to try; some were official, others fan translations that were used in little-known productions. (The number should not be surprising. This is very much the viewpoint of an outsider looking in who lived long after that time, but when an album is banned by the government, bootleg copies change hands for huge sums "underground," and the music on that album is in a style also banned by the government… well, let's just say something "forbidden" is going to attract a lot of people. After that initial burst of enthusiasm, then it's like any other piece of literature which is translated a number of times by multiple people -- someone who thinks they can do a better job of conveying the foreign meaning in their native tongue, perhaps in a more modern dialect or a more relevant way.)

Inspired by a conversation I had on ye olde JCS Zone Forum (RIP) with Russian fan Pasha Levcovetz, we're going to take a look at all of them, evaluating them for literal vs. poetic accuracy and also offering opinions on which might have even -- dare I say it -- improved on the original. For the sake of most of my readership, I'll render the Russian in (literal but accurate) English so you can understand what the adapted lyrics intend to say. (Special thanks to Pasha for his help!)

Translating "Mandarin"

As one might expect with a phrase that is not exactly common linguistic currency, and the number of jokes made about Tim's choice of words, the first problem Russian translators might encounter is "mandarin" -- more specifically, whether or not it is a literal reference to mandarin fruit.

Much to both my dismay and my amusement, two of the official translators and three of the fans decided that the lyric indeed referred to the fruit.

In the Teatr Mossoveta production in Moscow, which has been presented numerous times from 1990 to the present (and which made much larger departures that I've previously written about in response to a question from @nemoverne), Yaroslav Kesler rendered it like so:

Like a pitiful tangerine Like a pitiful tangerine Like a pitiful, pitiful, pitiful, pitiful, yellow tangerine!

For the more faithful version recorded on CD in 1992, Vyacheslav Ptitsyn traveled in a similar direction:

Squeezed lemon! You are a squeezed lemon! You are a pathetic, petty, pathetic, petty squeezed lemon!

Lastly, for something that is not a variation on either of the above, fan translator Yevgeniy Susorov gives us:

You are a withered fruit You are rotten, tasteless fruit You are a withered fig tree that will die in the flames!

I can see their intention, and, in my opinion, both Ptitsyn and Susorov improved on the original line, although this was probably coincidental in the former's case.

As far as Kesler is concerned, it's more of a vague fruit comparison that sort of makes sense. A yellow tangerine is overripe, and as tasty as overly ripened fruit can be, it's prone to developing patches of mold, and goes bad when left uneaten for too long. The meaning here when Judas applies it to Jesus as an insult should be clear, as he's been saying something like this about him -- metaphorically speaking -- for the entire show. (In the fan category, Vadim Zhmud makes the same choice and is even more explicit about his intentions, rendering the fruit as a "lethargic," "well-fed" tangerine. Mikhail Kokovikhin's take also chooses "tangerine," but gets caught up in trying to use it in exactly the way Tim uses "mandarin," repeating the word for emphasis and relying on the fact that Russian has three different synonyms for the word "rotten" to pad out the stanza. There's nothing wrong with trying to match Tim's choices as closely as possible, but just calling someone a rotten fruit in all the ways one can is a little weak.)

Ptitsyn's is more intriguing, partially because of a (likely) unintentional double meaning. If you recall, he refers to a pathetic lemon that has had all the juice squeezed out of it. In American English, in addition to referring to the fruit of the same name, "lemon" is also used to refer to a product, usually an automobile, that has flaws -- like manufacturing defects, in the car's case -- too great or severe to serve its intended purpose. (To cite a more abstract usage, the late Jim Steinman aptly used the "lemon" analogy in the Meat Loaf song "Life Is a Lemon And I Want My Money Back.") In Russian, the phrase "squeezed lemon" similarly refers to someone very tired, a person who has lost their strength or abilities. Poetically speaking, Judas calling Jesus a "lemon" at this moment has an extra layer of meaning that works really well in either language.

Lastly, my favorite (if only as an atheist theologian) is Susorov, who doesn't just spin the line into a much better fruit metaphor -- he even gets biblical with it, referencing both Jesus' teaching about "trees bearing bad fruit" and also one bad tree in particular that figured into Jesus' final week in the original Passion narrative.

Quoting loosely from the King James Version of Matthew's Gospel (an incident also recounted in Mark, chapter 11): "And seeing a fig tree by the wayside [Jesus] went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, 'May no fruit ever come from you again!' And the fig tree withered."

In Susorov's text, Judas is not only condemning Jesus as the tree bearing bad fruit against which he preached, but also comparing him to a specific, very recent failure that might still sting.

(Susorov's choice is made even more ironic by the fact that Lloyd Webber and Rice intended to musicalize this moment in JCS themselves, but ultimately decided to cut it from the original album when concerns of length were raised, as previously discussed here. If that scene was still in the show, this would be quite the burn!)

Getting at the Meaning

Moving away from the poetic toward conveying the lyric's literal intention without getting bogged down in language, both official and fan translators seem to settle for general insults, so it becomes a different question: whether they are just that (i.e., general insults) or they convey the same meaning as intended by "jaded mandarin."

The latter is achieved adequately by Viktor Polyak (Yaroslavskiy Gosudarstvennyy Teatr Yunogo Zritelya, 1989-1994):

You are a crashed idol You are a crashed idol You are a crashed, broken, dirty idol!

It works. The show is called Jesus Christ Superstar; a fallen celebrity metaphor is far from out of place. Maksim Samoylov, in the fan department, goes for a similar take, having Judas call Jesus a "little, fallen star."

Svetlana Peyn, whose translation has appeared at Stas Namin in Moscow from 2011 to the present, is on a similar wavelength:

You are a pompous hero You are a pompous hero With poisonous loud glory you are a self-important pompous hero

Ouch!

Mikhail Parygin, a fan translator, is in the same boat, going for "a [...] pathetic, petty, pompous king." Likewise Andrey Voskresenskiy, with "a [...] surrendered, fallen, finished prophet," and Vera Degtyaryova, who settles for "a miserable [...] former leader." Also rather close is Aleksandr Butuzov, who has Judas call Jesus "a loser" and "a mediocre, brainless, stupid leader." Though Russian fans I've spoken to don't especially care for his choice of words in their own language, it's on the mark as far as literal meaning goes.

Another official translation is not quite in the same realm, but close enough to make sense. Specifically, Grigoriy Kruzhkov and Marina Boroditskaya, holding the pen for the St. Petersburg Rock Opera State Theater in an adaptation which has been produced since 1990, provided:

Like a rebel! Like a simple rebel! Like a deceiver and a thief! Like a self-proclaimed king!

Metaphorically speaking, if you squint at it, it looks similar; full-bore insults that at least fit the plot.

Things get a little more interesting when translators move farther afield. For example, on the official front, Valeriy Lagosha's version for the "Free Space" Theater in Oryol, which ran from 2003-07, is:

No, I do not want this, prophet I do not want this, prophet After all, in this life I was able to do much more

It's an interesting idea to follow Judas' suggestion in "Heaven On Their Minds" that everyone would be better off if Jesus had not become famous and reinforce that point.

On the fan front, Kirill Sukhomlinov chooses to turn Jesus' biblical language about the religious authorities back on him:

You are a pathetic hypocrite You are a pathetic hypocrite You are a pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, nasty hypocrite!

And Maksim Zakharov doesn't really hit on the exact idea, but manages to create something that at least fits the character and situation:

You are a dark person You are a terrible person I am glad that you will end your life in prison!

Conclusion

Will there ever be a perfect translation? The jury's still out, especially -- it would seem -- in Russian. (There are more examples just from Russian translations to talk about that I will contemplate in future posts.) But it's always fascinating to view a piece from someone else's perspective, isn't it?

[honeyandbiscuitandtea-cafe]

when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers or moots (positivity is cool) 💖

oOoOO this a good question I'll answer with songs that are perpetually stuck in my head ones that I could back to because their just that good to me

First up I got is

This song is so catchy for some reason I always find myself going back to it also helps me realize I'm not the only one sometimes with unrealistic expectations in men 😭

Second one I got is

This song is so good honestly like the vocals and lyrics just hit manage to scratch a part of my brain I didn't know I had I also love the alternate version they posted for the anniversary

I put these two in the same category cause their technically the same song just sung by different people/characters but both versions are absolute fire 🔥

The Third one I got is

I just recently found this one but ever since I did I've been having it on loop for who knows how long I'm just a sucker honestly for songs with symbolism and themes in them especially if they talk about more dark and taboo topics like this one

The Fourth One I got is

When I said I was a sucker for songs with stories and symbolism and themes behind them I wasn't kidding especially when they discuss more morbid and unnerving topics to be honest anything produced by biz is bound to be something I enjoy their whole "love it" track has been my absolute favorite of all time I love the way their are actual stories behind their songs like a whole narrative and characters you can dissect especially with the songs their releasing the lyrics exploring more dark and twisted relationships unhealthy on both sides (so far we have yet to see what they publish next and it may be something different that sticks out from the theme cause so far all the songs released in the "love it" track talk about a relationship where both parties involved are unhealthy and toxic and unhinged in some way shape or form) exploring a completely complicated web of love and toxicity all while being absolute bangers back to back overall I absolutely suggest biz as an artist if you enjoy songs talking about fucked up relationships and dynamics like their is so much nuance and analysis you can do on each song and the characters presented in each song that it keeps me coming back to them (this has honestly just divulged into me shamelessly trying to get other people to listen to this artist but let me tell you something they are super underrated in my opinion and more people need to talk about them)

And for the Fifth and Last One I got is

I love this song so much I was introduced to Frank Sinatra by my Father and have ever since become a huge fan of him it just gives such wonderful vibes Frank Sinatra is in my all time favorite artists

So that is all the songs I have listed I hope my ramblings will have convinced to check them out and their respective artists if you haven't already I left out a lot of other artists and songs I love mostly because these are the ones I am most obsessed with as of the moment but if you want you can always ask me more questions about any other songs or artists I might like I don't really have a set or specific music taste honestly I just listen to anything I like

[taminoarticles]

I would like to know if Tamino is straight or gay? (slightly mocking) “You don't know that? I think that's an odd question. As if that would matter. Well, I also realize that there is a lot of confusion around it, even though it becomes very clear in my lyrics that I like women. (laughs) You know, if I were gay, I think it might be a great inspiration to people. So I'm not offended by that question. Even if everyone in my audience thinks I'm gay, my response would be, so what? Although I find it strange how much importance someone attaches to the idea of ​​whether I am gay or straight. I'm straight, but sexuality shouldn't be a defining factor of someone's personality. That's madness. I really can't reach that. It doesn't really matter to me who someone falls for. What that question shows is that there is still a stigma around someone who loves fashion like I do. Or around someone who opens up their feelings without any problems, like me: I think that is often linked to sexual preference. Whether that question is relevant? Bwah… There's actually a very feminine energy floating around in my music, so the question doesn't surprise me too much. But at the same time it is also obvious in my lyrics that I admire women, that I even put them on a pedestal. I just don't think I should explain something like that. Recently I covered a great song by Mac DeMarco, 'My Kind of Woman'. When I posted that song, someone wrote: "Does that mean he is not gay?" The only question I ask myself is how I can contribute to that topic myself. Because I think it's a very important subject and important that it is talked about enough, so that ultimately everyone can love who they love without being looked at wrongly or excluded, or worse.

— Tamino in response to fan-submitted questions for De Morgen, 2019 (x)

[jasondeansgothwife]

Your blog makes me think a lot about music, and how I'm actually very disconnected from the music of the era my anachronistic displacement is focused on. I've never really been into MCR aside from my partner really liking them and showing me a few songs, for instance. I DO like some music associated with the teen scene of the 2000s, but fairly late - Falling in Reverse is my go-to teen music, but they formed in 2008 and released their last album I liked in 2015. Britney Spears and Eminem are more of the era, but not necessarily for "rawr means I love you in dinosaur" types like I associate with. And Mindless Self Indulgence is of the era and of those types, but strangely, don't seem to be well-loved by other 2000s bloggers I've seen, even before the sexual battery lawsuit. Instead, my main source of connection to the era, as I talked a bit about in a post recently, is through massive weeabooery. Even musically, I LOVE Smile.dk and other Europop bands that took on anime aesthetics. From fujoshi to OEL manga, 2000s internet Western otaku is my jam. So this is all a very long way of saying: Do you like anime?

Hi, Velvet!! Thanks so much for this ask, this is a really fun one!

Short answer: Yes, I love anime and 2000s otaku shit!

Long answer: I love Falling in Reverse, first of all! Weirdly enough, this seems to be a somewhat unpopular opinion. If you want some 2000s scene music recs, I absolutely have about a million recs. Also, let me just say that, as a total "rawr means I love you in dinosaur" type, I adore Eminem, haha. I love Mindless Self Indulgence to bits as well, while obviously not supporting them as people.

And yes, I adore the 2000s anime fujoshi yaoi paddle Vocaloid nightcore Lucky Star Smile.dk type of aesthetic. You might be familiar with it already, but this YouTube playlist I found years ago has sort of been a go-to for me when it comes to a scene anime old internet vibe.

Also also, this is only tangentially related, and I realize I'm always trying to get people to watch Final Destination 3, but it's SOOOO 2006 and there's an extremely hot emo couple and these bimbo girly best friends and not to be toooo annoying, Velvet, but I think you would love it.

[thegreatcanadianjackalope]

Hi!! Little prompt for Izzy/fang/frenchie— could we maybe get some Izzy comfort? It could be safeword comfort, things going too quickly and Izzy flipping out, anxious that he safeworded, or it can be comfort for anything! Just lots of Fang and Frenchie working together v well and in sync to take care of their scrungly little man <3

Summary: Frenchie and Fang notice Izzy isn't sleeping well. They want to do something about that.

Fluffy Hut/comfort with some mild discussion of trauma (canon typical)

Note: I love this! I'm going to save the safeword comfort for another story because this is the story that jumped out at me when I read your beautiful prompt.

This is unedited right now. I might come back and clean it up later but for the moment my focus is on getting the writing flowing.

Music inspo for this fic is Rosy Golan's It's Been a Long Day

Fang found Frenchie organizing goods in the hold. He knew it was still weird for Bonnets crew to see Frenchie and Jim doing so much work, but Fang was honestly pleased to see that neither of them were backsliding into laziness. If anything, their hard work was rubbing off on the others.

“Hey, man. How’re things going?” Fang asked.

Frenchie startled but settled into a smile when he realized it was only fang. “Good, yeah. Things are good. Just, you know, keepin’ busy.”

“And everything’s good with the mind box?” Fang asked, gesturing vaguely at his head.

“Yeah, good. It’s good. Everything is you know…” Frenchie trailed off as he looked into the distance.

“Good?”

“Yes. Yeah. Exactly.” Frenchie said, brightening back up.

Fang decided to leave that alone for now. “Listen, have you seen Izzy recently?”

“Saw him this morning, why?”

“Did you notice that he looked a little… unwell?” Fang asked.

Frenchie scoffed. “What do you mean? He looks loads better than he did before. He’s got his new leg on, he’s clean, and he doesn’t even have any visible bruises.”

“That is true,” Fang hedged. “It’s only, I don’t think he’s sleeping much. To me, it looks like he hasn’t slept in a few days.  

Frenchie looked considering. “Hmm, now that you mention it. I did see him practicing his sword fighting really early this morning, and Wee John said he was working real late last night.”

“I guess I’m just worried about him. The rest of us don’t sleep good at all, and we agreed he’s the most fucked up of all of us, so it must be worse for him.” Fang said, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice.

“Yeah, but its not so bad now that the crew is back because if one of us wakes up from a nightmare another crew person is always right there.” A moment of realization seemed to dawn on Frenchie. “Except Izzy doesn’t sleep in the crew pile. He sleeps alone. In the room where Blackbeard took his first toe. Oh shit, babes. Can’t say I blame him.”

Fang felt a blush creep up his neck at the nickname. He absolutely did not let himself giggle. Frenchie calls everyone that. He wasn’t flirting with fang. Besides, Fang was supposed to be solving the Izzy problem. “I wish we could just convince him to join us in the pile, but I don’t think he’d ever go for that.”

“I mean, he has loosened up a lot lately, but that might be a step to far. What if we brought the pile to him?” Frenchie asked.

“I don’t think that’s better. If anything, he’d be mad there was no one watching the deck.”

“No, I meant you and me. We could go to his room tonight and force him to sleep and tell him we’ll watch out for him,” Frenchie suggested.

Fang considered this. Actually, it made sense. Izzy wouldn’t really trust the rest of Bonnet’s crew, Archie and Jim had a particular energy about them. One that wasn’t conducive to a full night’s rest.

Fang agreed and they made plans to meet at Izzy’s room later.

….

Izzy sat heavily on his bed. He knew he needed to take off his hoof and check his leg, but he couldn’t make himself move. He was exhausted. Mentally, physically, emot—nope. Just mentally and physically. He was having trouble sleeping. That was all. He couldn’t sleep because they were heading into a new season and the sun cycles were changing. It was all to be expected. He’d adjust. He would.

Izzy was startled from his thoughts when he heard a knock at his door. Before he could respond, the door opened, and Fang and Frenchie spilled into the room.

“Oh, yes, please do come in. Thank you for knocking. It was very considerate of you,” Izzy said sarcastically. Though he knew that his words lacked their usual edge.

“Hi boss,” Fang said, brightly, “We were hoping to spend the night in here with you.” Frenchie was nodding in agreement.

Exhausted, Izzy asked, “Why? There are plenty of places on the ship if you’re too cold to sleep on deck.”

Frenchie said, “Yeah, but the thing is that Fang here has been having nightmares, and he said he hasn’t been feeling safe enough to sleep lately.”

Frenchie jabbed Fang with his elbow and Fang said, “Oh yeah! Everything that happened just keeps coming back to me. And I thought ‘hey what place is safer on this ship, than with Izzy Hands?’”

The crack of a cannon, a flash of lighting, the glint of light on a saw, and the smell of gunpowder flashed through Izzy’s mind in quick succession. His stomach rolled and he clenched his jaw.

“I’m a cripple now boys. You’re better off with just about anyone else on this ship. Hell, you’d be better off on your own. I’m a liability now.” Izzy didn’t like how truthful the words were, but he was just too tired to cover it up.

Fang frowned, “Boss, you literally saved our lives. You understand that, right? We would be dead without you. Lying at the bottom of sea.”

Izzy scoffed but didn’t argue he didn’t have the energy. He also really didn’t have the energy to watch over them tonight. It was on his tongue to say no when the image of a scene he walked into popped into his head. Fang crying into his cake and Frenchie staring blankly, emptily into the distance. And then, bizarrely, the feeling of Fang’s arms around him and Frenchie’s palm, warm in his.

“Okay, you can stay here. I’ll make sure you’re safe,” Izzy said. He couldn’t tell them that this room had long since been safe, but he thought he could probably make it safe for Fang just for tonight.

“Great!” Fang exclaimed and then immediately went over to Izzy’s dresser. “Frenchie help me with this.” The two began dragging the dresser across the floor.

“What the fuck?” Izzy asked incredulously.

Frenchie explained, “We’re blocking the door with the dresser, so no one can get in. This way, you don’t have to stay up all night.”

“I thought the whole point was that you needed me so you could feel safe,” Izzy said, suddenly feeling useless despite not wanting that responsibility only minutes before.

“This is just the first defence, boss. This way if Blac—Someone tries to come in, we’ll hear them and you’ll be ready to protect us,” Fang said.

“And if there’s a fire?”

Frenchie laughs, “A fire? We’re on the ocean. We’re literally surrounded by water.”

Izzy sighs deeply. “There are so many things wrong with that I don’t know where to start.” The thing was though. In Izzy’s 35 years at sea, he’d only really had to deal with one major fire. Fire wasn’t what kept him up at night. In fact, just seeing the door blocked by that heavy hunk of wood was settling something in him he didn’t care to examine. “Fine. If it makes you feel safer.”

Izzy began the arduous process of removing his peg leg. Before he could even get the straps undone, Fang was by his side.

“Let me help you with that, Izzy.”

Izzy growled, “I’m a cripple not an invalid.”

“He knows that,” Frenchie said. “Helping you will make him feel better, innit? Don’t you want Fang to feel better?”

Izzy huffed but didn’t move to stop Fang as he eased the false leg off and placed it to the side. Fang loosened the tie on Izzy’s pant leg and pulled the leg up his thigh. Izzy wished he had some semblance of embarrassment about this, but the four of them had seen Izzy in every stage of loosing his leg so it wasn’t like he could say it would be a shock for Fang.

Frenchie brought over Izzy’s water basin and said, “Here you go, babes.”

Abruptly, Izzy took in the scene before him. Fang, kneeling on the ground, about to wash Izzy’s stump, while Frenchie watched. Heat creeped up his neck and he felt a bit woozy. This was too intimate. He was too vulnerable. He needed to put a stop to this. He was about to do just that when Fang began gently dragging the cloth across the raw skin.

Izzy’s eyes fluttered shut. When he did this for himself, he was impatient and rough. It had always hurt. Now, with Fang being careful, it didn’t feel good exactly, but it was nothing like the pain he was used to.

“It’s looking better. Does the new leg fit better? You don’t have as many cuts and wounds.” Frenchie asked.

Izzy tamped down on the flare of emotion that burst in him at the mention of that fucking leg. He didn’t think he could speak without his voice cracking, so he just nodded in reply.

Fang smiled up at him and said, “That’s great, Izzy. Glad to hear.”

“You know,” Frenchie said frowning, “Your thigh muscles are looking really tense. Maybe I should just…” As he trailed off, he reached over to grasp at Izzy’s thigh.

Izzy made it through approximately thirty seconds of Frenchie massaging his thigh before he felt a lance of heat in his groin. He jerked back and choked out, “That’s enough. Thank you. I think it’s time to sleep now.”

Frenchie gave him an odd look but didn’t argue. Izzy was honestly shocked that he had felt anything even approaching arousal. He wasn’t sure it was going to possible for him after the Kraken.

Frenchie took the spot next to the wall and Izzy waited for Fang to get in. When he didn’t, Izzy looked at him quizzically.

“If it’s okay with you, boss, I’d rather take the outside. I find it more comfortable, and I get hot easily,” Fang said.

Izzy wanted to argue. Wasn’t the whole point of being here to make fang feel safer? Shouldn’t Izzy be closest to the door so he could spring into action if necessary? Izzy wanted to argue. He really did. But he was so tired. He just didn’t have it in him. His body, without full permission from him, crawled in next to Frenchie.

The bed wasn’t that comfortable for one person, never mind three, but somehow, they made it work. Izzy didn’t protest when Fang’s arms slid around him. There wasn’t really another way to make it work. Frenchie’s head rested against his shoulder and Izzy found he couldn’t really complain about that either.

Izzy was warm, his body was pressed against on both sides, there was no way someone could barge through that door, and he could finally feel himself drifting off to sleep.

Just before he slipped off, he heard Fang’s gentle voice. “You know, Frenchie, that mind box won’t hold forever.”

Izzy felt Frenchie shift against him, could feel the protest coming. In a raspy, sleep filled voice, Izzy said, “He’s right. Just look at me. I thought I had everything locked up tight. Eventually, something has to give.”

Frenchie laid a hand against Izzy’s chest in acknowledgement.

In that same quiet voice, Fang said, “I’m here for you if you need to talk, Frenchie.” Then Fang gave Izzy a squeeze that felt a lot like ‘you too, Izzy’.

No more words were said that night. Instead, Izzy fell into a blissfully uninterrupted sleep.

[goodluckclove]

Edgar Gallows Blog Takeover - Intro Post!

Uh - hi! Hello!

I don't really know what I'm doing here or why I'm doing it, but Scott told me there's no way he's trying this unless he sees me do it first. And if Scott's not doing it Tenzin won't be comfortable enough to try either - really, Katy's the only one here comfortable chatting to strangers. It's a delicate web otherwise.

But yeah, my name is Edgar. I'm 30 and I live in New Orleans. Scott and I looked up what people put in intro posts like these and a lot of them had genders and pronouns, so let's just say I have both of those and not go any deeper than that.

I've worked in a few tourist-y traps in NOLA, mostly back of house doing prep and assembly work. Right now I'm a bartender and I'm great at it. I'm the best in the world. I've won awards. You can lie on the internet without consequence, right?

I should say that I am ex-Academy. I won't say which one for the sake of anonymity (And - let's face it - my own safety as well). I wasn't expelled or discharged or whatever. Technically I wasn't even released. I don't practice anymore, or really keep up with the news and politics of Academic witchcraft, so don't expect me to get into it unprompted.

Interests

I don't think there's a genre of music that I don't love, but I'm a big fan of funk, disco, new wave and Japanese city pop. Talking Heads is my favorite band of all time.

I'm a self-taught chef. I think I'm pretty good at it. I also bake, which I am less good at. Those skills do not transfer like you might think they do.

Scott's looking over my shoulder and he's telling me to mention that I like birds. I do. I feel weird saying that because I don't really know that many bird facts for anything other than my few favorites (Goldfinches and Buntings). I just like looking at them.

I say that I play video games but the only video game I'm remotely good at is Old School Runescape, which I don't think is that cool to say.

Things to Ask me About?

I would love to talk about cooking or food. This could be to give advice, recipe suggestions, food pairings, knife skills - ask me something as simple as how to scramble an egg and I'd be happy to share my technique.

In regards to the Academy, I will say that I'm Legacy and so I never actually enlisted. If you're thinking of going down that path at your own branch, I worked at the University of mine as a librarian for maybe five years, so I got a good perspective as to what the process looks like. I'm open to offering insight and tentative guidance if you aren't weird.

Scott says I should mention that I'm also a birthright. He's really the one that has more authority to talk about that since he actually grew up in a witch town, but apparently he has a lot of opinions on how I should do this for someone who barely understands how the internet works.

He's watching me type now. Fuck it, you can ask me about Scott too if you want. I assumed I was straight until about a week ago. Now I seem to have bagged myself an ethereal magical boyfriend. He saw me use the voice command on my Pixel and now he makes me say goodnight to my goddamned cell phone before we go to sleep. I love him.

DNI List

I heard admission rates for Academies hit a major spike recently, and I'm just putting it out there that I really would rather not debate anyone super invested in the "mission statement" of their local University. The newer members never seem to realize that the culture of the Academy differs like crazy depending where you are, and because of that there really isn't the kind of centralization they claim exists to Junior Members.

Also - and this might be a divisive take - but I was born into this world. I spent decades of my life in the Academy. I truly do not care about the opinion of someone who trained for two years after joining straight out of high school. I won't block you, but I will send your username and any comments you make to my friend who is far more Anti-Academy than I am (Hi, Katy).

Anyway that's all! I look forward to posting things today and maybe talking to some new people! I hope everyone is nice and not weird and I do not regret this happening!

who is this? why is this happening? check out the pinned post on my blog to learn more!