#I'm on so many painkillers
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@wellwaterhysteria for izzy, beloved. Let's go to bed together
#web weaving#webweaving#sleep was the original theme#then i kinda got lost on the way. I'm on so many sleeping pills. Anyways!#poetry#legit I'm on SO many sleeping pills and n painkillers... I'll do a better one later with actual functioning braincells
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Okay but. I made this post about what Fox finds attractive about Bail and Breha, and like after things do get a little better, his brother's ask again. Well, they don't really ask. They all get drunk and one of them makes a comment about abs being hot or something, and Fox (being tipsy) goes "you don't know what's good. you ever hugged a big man? Of course you haven't, if you had you would know what's good"
(He also later makes some comment about how "she knows what she is doing", but at that point Bly is too drunk to ask the question he had the last time around)
#Fox's type is: smart capable and stable people who are very nice and who have the appearance of a mlf and a dlf#but seriously guys have you seen rebecca jackson mendoza and jimmy smits?#Fox at some point during the war while high on painkillers: idk about being a dad but if they asked me I would give them so many kids#Thorn sitting on his bedside: I'm not sure that's how it works but okay#october's coming so I'm gearing up with the kinky stuff lmao#bail/breha/fox#commander fox#bail organa#breha organa#fun fact tumblr didn't show this post in the tags before I cencored the words in the first tag#wow I can't post this but I still see s mut every time I go to character tags?#tcw#the clone wars
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if I seem cranky and difficult to reach this week it's just because I think the stress finally caught up to me and my body has been... not so good. I've been sleeping and staring into space a lot. lmao
#I think I'm going to have to make some cannabis tea to get through the day#which is a bummer bc I really wanted to write#but I've not been taking as many painkillers as I should have 'because I want to write'#and it turns out I also do not write when I'm curled up in pain so#there are other symptoms I'm struggling with too but they are less palatable so lmao#vent post
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had to leave work early bc of severe cystitis pain >:(
#this is my first time having one and i never knew that it hurts soooo bad 馃槶#i'm glad i got to leave work early bc i hate working saturdays in general but i also feel guilty bc someone else had to come in & finish..#.. my shift until 8 pm 馃檭#i really thought i could pull through but after 5 hours i just couldn't take the pain anymore even with painkillers#but now i'll get work time deficit again which is such bullshit#i really want to apply for another job bc there are so many things that bother me and are just plain unfair#and the long saturdays kill me i literally have no free time i'm always exhausted#but if i leave before my contract ends i'll have to pay back the scholarship i received..#a few days ago a colleague that worked there for almost 14 years also quit bc she couldn't take it anymore#she did so much and to now have her leave.. it's just getting worse and worse#鈽侊笍
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Some Trinity Gate headcanons, mostly based around Daniel, Benji and Sybelle, because I have a headache and this is how I'm distracting myself
When Daniel first visits TG for the first time, one of the first things Benji does is bring up that Daniel is technically his nephew in The Blood, which leads to Daniel nicknaming him Uncle Benji.
Daniel and Sybelle find some solidarity together in the frustration that comes with not being totally sane as a vampire, and the well-meaning but sometimes suffocating attempts of their family to keep them safe and well.
Seeing how much Daniel enjoys playing with models and construction sets, Benji decides to introduce Daniel to minecraft. It still takes Daniel a while to get a hold of modern computer games (boomer moment), and Benji isn't always the most patient teacher, but Daniel eventually gets the hang of it and the two of them + Sybelle create a server so they can play together.
When playing minecraft, Daniel and Sybelle mostly focus on building while Benji does the combat and resource gathering. Daniel is also the only one who can do redstone, which he learnt in an obsessive week of watching youtube tutorials.
Daniel delights in telling Sybelle and Benji funny and embarassing stories of Armand from the Devil's Minion days, at least he does until Armand returns the favour in kind, except he knows where the pictures are kept.
Sometime after Daniel first returns to TG, he, Benji and Sybelle hatch a plan to hunt together one night (lets say they've picked up on a larger gathering of evil-doers ripe for the taking). Armand tags along to ensure their safety and keep an eye on them, and he's all but tearing up watching his children carry out a successful hunt together and it just makes him so proud of how far they've come and what ruthless little predators they've all turned out to be.
All in all, Daniel is the slightly crazy, slightly but unapolgetically cringe nephew-uncle figure I think Benji and Sybelle need
Also I can't be consise to save my life <3
#vc headcanons#daniel molloy#sybelle#benji#trinity gate#daniel#Idk I don't think much of Sybelle or Benji as characters on their own#but I just love the idea of Daniel as this slightly crazy and at times cringy but unconditionally supportive uncle figure#and I think trying to find a place to fit in with the existing family at TG was probably a bit of a Thing for Daniel#especially after so many decades just out of commission#and so I like the idea that he fosters this friendship with Benji and Sybelle in terms of reconnecting with the mortal and vampire worlds#anyway I'm away to take more painkillers now#Also why were so many of these about minecraft? Good question I've been watching minecraft speedruns so here we are
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they should invent a me that isn't constantly in like 7 different types of pain 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶
#ibuprofen save me... save me ibuprofen............#i've taken so many painkillers in the last week or two that i think i'm developing like resistance to them uuuggghhh#i tried alternating between different types but some of them aren't relevant to the particular issue i have#so i see no point in ruining my liver over them. so i can't alternate as much as needed probably
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They simply must invent a medication to prescribe me that fucking does it's goddamn job
#WHO AMONG YOU HAS THE BRAVERY TO PRESCRIBE ME VICODIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i miss vicodin so much.#drs r crazy#awwww you have debilitating chronic pain that requires surgery and u have tried multiple chiros and pts and acupuncturists and the muscle#relaxers did nothing and ur taking as many otc painkillers as u can? that rly sucks :( nothing more to do...#KILL YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#what i'm rly mad abt rn is my stupid fucking anti-depressant and insomnia med. i think my psychiatrist is a stupid bitch and maybe i should#get a new one. useless woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!#personal log#logged#vibes
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stormikins in reply to this post
IMAGINE an underwater segment for hanar and potentially drell as well given they鈥檙e so intertwined that would be cool
YES!!!!!!!!!!!! This is exactly what I would want. I also think about Aya a lot when I picture it, though it wouldn't be the same at all.
#next mass effect#sorry i'm replying just now#i have an issue with a teeth#they gave me antibiotics today#but last night i took too many painkillers and i was so tired#i fell asleep when i came home
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I'm usually pretty good at dealing with my migraines, I've learned to give myself a break and to treat myself with kindness when I'm in pain, like it's no biggie bc i can't help it, it's an illness
they've been getting more spicy and more frequent again, but it's been okay, it just happens sometimes when you suffer from migraine, you know? again, it's an illness
today when I yet again woke up with my head in pounding, tearing pain and static behind my eyelids, I just burst into tears. bc sometimes that also just happens, bc it's an illness
#it's unfair and it hurts really bad#the painkillers took the edge off but I'm still in too much pain to actually do anything#i'm on so many deadlines and life doesn't stop even if my body demands it to#i don't have time for this but i don't get to choose#migraine#headache#rambles
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#i've been doing job training for the past month now and so far it's going pretty well#but i feel like it's affecting my lifestyle negatively in a big way#for one it's enabling my E////D (which i've been sorta on top of but now i'm taking any excuse to skip meals and walk long distances for#no reason other than to get workouts in whenever i can)#and it's definitely noticeable in my day to day life#(mostly dizziness and exhaustion weakness and headaches/stomach aches that end up making me sleep through the rest of my day)#and i have NO idea how to keep myself from doing it#today i was worried about how many calor///ies i'm intaking with painkillers#which i wouldn't have to take in the first place if i could just give myself a break and eat normally again#and it just sucks? that i'm getting a grip finally in terms of a job but at the same time my health is going down the drain again#i really REALLY thought i'm on top of myself but i guess i am nowhere near it#and it's so frustrating#rant tw#i wish i could blacklist tag this properly but it always attracts pro weirdos so if u need this tagged give me a tag to use#and i will glady do that for u
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Hhnghb
#FULLY MEDICATED AGAIN.#idk.... what to do...... i. want to do so many things. nothing is striking me at the moment though#i have The Pile (all of the ever-growing askr fam collection in my queue storage)#I HAD. SO MANY THOUGHTS. ABOUT VERONICA'S MAP. I WAS GONNA MAKE SOME POSTS ABOUT IT. AT LEAST HIGHLIGHTING SOME YHINGS#i was gona. post more of moe. and drop Some lore but mostly housekeeping#i won a little anya keychain plush at the arcade just to study her and use her as a ref. she is so cute.#i HAD a directing for the al/shari plush bodies but idk. if. i want to commit. i have no idea at thsi point#yesterday was SO fucked up i fucking meant it when i say you only start to feel the absence of meds day 2.#it's crazy..... like painkillers but for your brain..... like it's striking how i do have a lot of these thoughts/feelings#like all of the time but the meds just make them more manageable. put me at a baseline to sit w them better.#AH I WANTED TO BLEACH MY HAIR AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! I FINALLY ALSO PICKED UP MORE HAIRBLEACH#yesterday was so fuckinh stupid though like all day i was just spacing out and teary.#like ah ..... the horrors............ blinks so sadly and sheds such delicate tears. dude come on#inmy heart of hearts i HAVE to believe in askr meds exist and all you have to do is ask the right person/pull the right strings.#i have NEVER been a 'fix my disability' bitch. we are managing that shit. through treament and accomodations.#it's also just more useful that way to me. to conceptualize and also to make peace w it.#like it has a feedback loop effect to it. through writing i'm inevitably sorting through thoughts/feelings#that WILL be relevant to my day to day life.#i think.... i am starting to feel a little better....... i just lack direction.
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than knyou for drawinf the recent pyro stuff . i never see anything even suggestive with them and it is refreshing to break out of what seems to be the childification of them
No problem 馃 and thanks for taking the time to send an ask馃挒馃挒
#i really do appreciate it#i was looking up possible refs for pyro's suit and inadvertently gave myself a rubber suit thing#that aside I've also been thinking about how pyro's suit could also be a comfort thing rather than just protection from yknow. fire#you know how people joke about autism jackets. that sort of thing#i do like drawing pyro in the suit while being intimate etc with characters because it's that idea of still being desired while still#respecting your own boundaries if that makes sense#(I'm getting too into this and being too sentimental I know)#I know a lot of you who like pyro are autistic (myself included most likely) and see yourselves in pyro#and with being autistic often comes boundaries and comfort zones irt intimacy that people don't often respect or shame you for having so for#me at least it's nice to be able to draw situations wherein the possible autistic characters (as many hc pyro to be) are allowed to be#comfortable#apologies if none of this makes sense. i had a migraine earlier and the painkillers are finally kicking in#godspeed to you and i hope to draw pyro again when I'm feeling better馃#asks#not scribbling
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Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 馃槀 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.
#it was about that leak from weeks ago. dad got quite the details about it. he walked right into that one.#and that dear sir is why we do not try to bring news about the hyperfixation. i will know about it and you will hear about it.#dude even got the history of fallout 3 as a bonus. since that was the one he mentioned 馃槀#he also got a very veeeery long version about why i would necessarily get so excited about the leaks.#you know age of the document. the whole company sale thing. how much the time line clearly has already gone to shit. etc etc etc.#yeah... yeah i think he really came to regret that one 馃槄#listen i have only slept 5 hours. am high on caffeine and painkillers- almost had a migraine ok.#which means i have like 0 filter rn and am quite brain tired. i will not realise how long i am going on for once i get started rn.#the info dump has started and it will end when i brain says so. i sure af won't notice I am doing it cause I'm just excited to share#not until i manage to like finish my long ass story do i realise i went on for like a good 20-30 minutes... oops.#and that may just be a generous estimate cause i got really going on the infodump ok. it was a blast. ngl.#i am very passionate about fallout ok. this is what happens when you fall asleep to fallout lore most days of the week.#yes i lost the plot ages ago about this hyperfixation. it makes me very happy. so i don't even care. i will keep doing it.#til the hyperfixation dies and bring great sadness to the lands... til we find something else. god knows when that is though.#i am very ok if fallout hyperfixation just... doesn't go away actually. i like hyperfixation. brings many a solution when upsetty.#.... i really need to stfu up now. hi. 馃憢 why are you still reading this??? these ramblings of a madman. 馃槀#ryder speaking#i got this far before i realised i did not in fact write wouldn't get excited... well i aint fixing it now 馃檭
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Can someone please remind me why people haven't invented painkillers that work
#i can't tell if my body has just built up an immunity to them or they just suck#but if i take too many i'll get liver failure or something#what's up with that anyway?#anyway i'm in a lot of pain and the combination of painkillers and my heating pad isn't working#so i'm complaining about it#yay#wonder talks about dumb shit <33
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Themis' Fortune - page 129
Read from the beginning here!
#themis' fortune#cattails#cattails game#drawing this despite the dental appointment from heck#dentist put a temporary and in my idiot sedated state i immediately BIT IT RIGHT OFF#so yeah i'm on so many painkillers rn i just wanna sleeeep#i have some queued but if any panels come out late that's why
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i miss traditional college i would've had so much more fun and a 3.9 gpa if it weren't for the pain disorder >:(((
#i don't want anyone to feel bad abt their gpa it's just me personally getting good grades was always my thing#so getting my first bachelor's w a 3.8 was like by the skin of my teeth and i KNOW it could've been better#if i didn't have to keep missing classes bc i could not physically get out of my bed#but i also missed out on so many fun things and networking and making friends#i wish it would've been different. i had plans!!!#anyway in my online program i have a 3.99 gpa so i'm happier but i miss the College Experience yknow#i was at peak performance when i was abroad in costa rica taking one literature course and going out every night to drink whiskey#i literally only had one fibro flareup it was the best time#i did get pr sick after classes ended but that doesn't count + they gave me painkillers and a giant jug of juice to drink and that slapped
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