#I'm not sure the last three-set translates exactly - losing your own diary/history/memories can be very self-alienating
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Without me, who am I (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Vent#More of this#What can we do but pick up the pieces#With a habit that long-running and ingrained it'd be hard to just Stop even if the backlog was destroyed#Not really a choice to Do or Not Do - it's just What One Does whether there's a scaffold to build from or not#The worst part(s) for me really is the memory of people - bringing my ADHD!Max headcanon to the very forefront here haha#To be fair even if he doesn't have That Particular reason to have a shaky hold on his working and/or longterm memory - his drug problem#The idea of not having access to my memories of the people I love/my history/ideas/events or stories that have moved and shaped me#It's probably the scariest thing I can think of#Coupled with the lack of guarantee of tomorrow - that anything that Has existed until now will Continue to exist#And now I don't even have a way to look back to when it did. Total oblivion#Obviously not All of it but I don't even know what I don't know anymore it's just fully gone#So - some more comfort doodles of the boy <3 Shared grief half a grief and all that#He's always lovely and I love him ♥ Important-to-me lad#I'm not sure the last three-set translates exactly - losing your own diary/history/memories can be very self-alienating#No pun intended haha#Max's dream journal was always to do with ZEX and DAX and the Captain once he showed up - a life different from his own#I suppose if you wanted to go really meta with it - since Max is /a/ ZEX and his concept as a character is to be a version of him#Who is he without ZEX? Who are we without our trajectories?#I drew him with his eye there so it's assumed he'd be Max but a Defeated ZEX posing that question to Dex would be interesting too#Changes the ''me'' in question from Max to ZEX - either way their source is the same!#Being actively discouraged from and punished for his creative outlet - different circumstances but a similar sadness I suppose#The Loss and Aimlessness for sure
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