#I'm not shy and I don't have social anxiety. I just have regular anxiety and I don't like people.

[scarletfasinera]

My sister can't order her own food and can't go anywhere in public by herself without me there with her acting as her own personal guard dog, and yet she makes fun of ME for being asocial.

[kurooo-is-here]

Hear me out. Drayton and Kieran with a mute s/o?

(Tbh I feel like Drayton would think they’re just shy for the first couple of interactions until someone tells him though lol)

Okay, I'm not super knowledgable about deaf or mute folks. But here's my best shot at this ask, if I am incorrect about anything please let me know!

My interpretation of this is that reader is deaf and communicates through sign language, and they cannot speak at all.

Drayton and Kieran with a mute/deaf Reader

(Ignore the snom gif I couldn't think of anything specific to use for this lmao)

Drayton:

Yeah, he's totally clueless at first. Doesn't get why you're doing odd hand motions instead of talking, but he figures everyone has their quirks. It really bothers you that he won't acknowledge it, so you ask Lacey to tell him for you.

When Drayton hears it from Lacey, he feels really bad and is immediately apologetic. He rushes over to you and attempts to apologize, then realizes he doesn't understand sign language at all, so he stumbles on his words a lot.

Lacey facepalms watching all of this go down, so she reluctantly teaches Drayton some basic sign language so he can get his apology across to you. He's delighted to finally be able to talk to you properly-- he has a crush on you, after all.

The rest of the Elite Four soon complains that Drayton studies sign language better than he studies for any of his classes, but he is absolutely determined to make things right with you. Lacey says she's never seen him work that hard!

When he finally confesses to you, he does it right. He makes sure he corrects himself if he messes up a sign, accidentally blurts out a few words while signing-- but you can tell he really means it. It warms your heart to see him trying so hard for you, despite his initial ignorance on the subject.

Drayton notices you get bullied a lot because you're some regular student hanging out with the big leagues (the BBA Elite Four). He IMMEDIATELY shuts down anyone who has the balls to talk shit in front of you knowing you can't hear them. That kind of vile behavior will never be tolerated on his watch.

He texts you a lot. He still talks to you through sign when he sees you in person, but since he's usually busy doing League Club work (or just pretending to be busy), he texts you when he has a moment of free time. At one point you changed his contact name on your phone to "The Drayster", which made his entire WEEK. He would NOT shut up about it.

Don't let this man figure out swears and silly insults in sign language, he's gonna use them all the time now. One time Crispin asked what Drayton was laughing about and he just signed "bullshit" in response which immediately had you on the floor in tears of laughter while Crispin looked SO confused.

Kieran:

Luckily he's more perceptive and understanding than Drayton, so he picks up on your disability right away. Turns out he already knew a bit of sign language from teaching himself too.

When you ask him how he knew sign language already, he just shyly responds that he wanted to be prepared for the event that he needed to communicate with Ogerpon through it for some reason.

He teaches himself a LOT more sign language after meeting you. He really wants to go the extra mile for his new friend and possible crush so he studies and does his research diligently.

Kieran already understands if you're socially awkward, because he's full of anxiety himself. He totally gets it if you need to rely on him to be your translator at any point.

He really loves you and has no problems with your disability, even if he has to try a little harder for you. And after a while, communicating with you becomes easier, which makes you really happy!

After the events of Indigo Disk, he becomes much more protective of you. He wants to become stronger so he can protect you from anyone who tries to bully you or hurt you. His Hydrapple is gonna have a word or two with whichever idiot tries to disrespect your name in his presence.

Whenever he greets you, he tries not to catch you off guard from behind or something, since you can't exactly hear him coming. He really tries to respect your boundaries too, so if you feel uncomfortable with anything he does, he understands.

Slightly unrelated, but Kieran definitely flips people off a lot. He tries to be less pissed when he's around you, but on his own? He's saying "fuck you" to a LOT of people.

One time he tried explaining to a guy about your disability, and the guy had the nerve to do the 👉👌 sign at you as some kind of sick joke... the BBA Elite Four found that guy beaten into a bloody pulp on the ground later. Kieran was taking NO prisoners that day.

[weird-is-life]

hiiiii! so i found ur blog on my feed, and LOVED IT!!! so can i request a oneshot?

basically, reader is more on the insecure side, and has social anxiety? I'm not sure if this represents social anxiety, or regular anxiety, or none at all?? but reader wants to drop off lunch or some breakfast and a coffee for Spencer but doesn't want him to be embarrassed by coming to his office. so he confronts us about it one day then we explain

much love from a new follower <33

Hii lovely, thank you for this request and for following🥰 hope this is okay. Warnings: use of pet names, fluff, anxious feelings, mentions of lunch/eating? (0.6k)

You are lost in your thoughts as you and Spencer eat lunch together in his kitchen. It's not unusual for either of you to be zoned out, but your frown clearly tells Spencer that something is bothering you. He doesn't need to use his profiling skills for that.

"Hey," he squeezes your hand to get your attention," what's going on up in that beatiful brain of yours, huh?"

"What?" you break out of the thoughts, but then you add, "nothing." Obviously it's a lie and you both know it.

"Nothing? Doesn't look like nothing to me, sweetheart," he says, rubbing gentle circles over your skin.

"It's just....-it's silly, really," you mumble quietly.

"Amuse me?" he inquires, eyebrows drawn up.

You hesitate for a second, suddenly feeling a bit shy. But it's Spencer, your Spencer, that is asking you to be honest with him, so you tell him what is on your mind, "I know, you are going to work tomorrow and-and you always say, that you either eat junk food or you don't eat at all. And I don't want you to do any of those things, so I was thinking, that maybe.... that maybe I could bring you some lunch? I want to but...-" you ramble quickly.

"But?" Spencer asks.

"I don't know if it would be okay. I don't want to embarrass you, Spence," you sheepishly admit. Your eyes looking everywhere, but him.

"Embarrass me? Are you serious?," he expresses, he says it as if he's just heard the most ridiculous thing," I'd love for you to bring me lunch tomorrow, love. Really, it would be great and I would definitely not be embarrassed. Are you kidding? I would proudly show everybody how nice my girlfriend is and make them be jealous of my delicious lunch."

Your cheeks go red from his last few words," really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Never, you can come to my work anytime, pretty girl, okay? Please do come, anytime."

"Okay, good" you respond, a content smile on your face as Spencer kisses your hand, before he resumes eating his food.

"Good," he smiles at you, too.

-

You are standing inside the elevator, contemplating about turning away. You've got Spencer's lunch in your hands and a nervous smile on your face.

You've met Spencer's team before, but you've never been inside the Bau before. And let me say, it is very nerve-wracking to be there.

You definitely know, that you are at the right place, because as you walk through the room, everybody looks up. Nothing goes unnoticed by those agents, it's literally their job to be aware of their surroundings.

And Spencer notices you straight away too, especially because you are beelining your way towards him.

"Hi," you breath out, a small blush on your cheeks.

"Hi, sweetheart," he stands up to hug you immediately. Which calms your anxiety by a lot, "how are you doing? Did you have any problems getting here?"

"I'm okay and no, the security knew where to send me after I introduced myself to them," you admit, you know, that it is because Spencer told them.

"I'm glad," he takes the food from your hands and immediately takes them into his, "I'm also very happy, that you came here. Thank you for bringing me lunch, love" his warm hands over yours sooth your nerves almost completely away.

"Your welcome, Spence," you smile at him sincerely.

"Now come on, I'll show you around, before you decide to run away from him," he jokes, he can see that you are still anxious to be there. So he hopes, showing you around will help. And maybe when you pass some hidden corners, he will get to kiss you. To kiss your worries away.

[ladyloveandjustice]

2023 Anime Overview: SHY and Migi & Dali

SHY

Premise: In a world where every country has a superhero, 14 year old Teru is Japan's. Her hero name is Shy, and that's exactly what she is-- she's a bit of shrinking violet at times and deals with social anxiety, which makes the public part of being a hero a struggle for her. But with a mysterious boy going around and turning people's hearts and pain against them to make them into dark, painful threats, she and the other heroes are going to have to step things up.

SHY is very much a magical girl show with am American-style-superhero coat of paint, and that's really what draws me to the series. Powers are based on your heart and emotions, the heroes friends and loved ones have their pain and despair manifest as terrible powers when induced by an outside force and then our heroes having to reach out to these people with love and compassion...it is so magical girl core. There's even a magical battle where mother and daughter must reach out to each other!

Also very distinctly magical girl-esque is how a lot of the series is focused on Teru and her cute girl bff having yuri undertones. Said friend calling out her name even activates Teru's "heart" and her powers truly awaken. IDK Teru that's pretty gay.

It does some things that are cool to see in a superhero show- like centering female characters and featuring a disabled superhero. This Anifem article also has an interesting take on one of the fights.

It's also not overly fanservicey so far either, though Teru mentions once that her leotard is skimpier than she's comfortable with (apparently magic assigns them their clothes) which sucks, (and it highlights her rear more than I'm comfortable at times considering her age). Let her have pants! But hey, after dealing with MHA's bullshit, I'll count my blessings that it's a regular leotard.

SHY is often a little silly-- the fact that apparently every country getting a superhero ended ALL WAR somehow is so ridic it wraps around to being endearing. It's also engages in some national stereotypes --for instance the Russian superhero who is Shy's mentor whole schtick being that she's always drunk (but you see it's okay because her alcoholism is based in her childhood love for her parent and she's fine and). There's a weird moment where an adult acts like she's going to kiss a teenager as a prank, and the pacing is a little uneven.

But when it hits, it really hits, and you really root for Teru. Seeing a superheroic take on struggling with social anxiety is fun, and Teru's passion and strength shines through. I'm excited to see more of her adventures, and fortunately a second season is confirmed!

Migi & Dali

Premise: Orphaned twins Migi and Dali perform an amazing con to get adopted by a couple (who mention preferring to adopt only one child)-- they decide to pretend to be only one person, a boy named Hitori, with one of them always just out of sight as school or at home. They go to absurd levels to keep this up because they have an important goal-- their mother was murdered in this town, and they're going to do all they can to find her killer. But what mysteries does this suburban town hold?

It's hard to put Migi & Dali into words, but I'll do my best. It starts out as an utterly absurd show that plays it's "spookiness" so ridiculously that it becomes comedy (Mother's Basement compared it to the potato chip scene from Death Note, and I think that's apt, though it's very much intentional with this show). Seeing the ridiculous lengths the twins go to in order to keep up their con is amazing. Situations like them assuming their foster mother must be scalping children because they don't understand what a wig is or one twin throwing on a wig on so the other twin (who should know what he looks like because he can LOOK IN THE MIRROR) doesn't recognize him are hilarious.

But then the show also becomes a tightly plotted and genuinely tense murder mystery that is incredibly moving at times? WHAT? All while keeping up it's signature brand of goofiness and absurdity! Side characters I did not expect to care about go through great development, Migi and Dali have some great character arcs, there's some genuine commentary on abuse, the damage you can do to children by forcing perfection on them, the struggle of being a foster kid, grief and recovery and more.

There are some things to warn for--parental abuse, rape through deception (def framed as bad, but yep. that happens), general harm to children, a very uncomfortable strip search of a child that involved ass-grabbing, and the weird bits where teen characters are kidnapped and forced to dress up and act like a baby (which turns out to be very thematically important and follows an interesting arc of being played partly for comedy at first then becoming deadly serious later) and of course the murder and stuff you'd expect from a murder mystery. (There's also some stuff involving infertility I think is fraught, but I can't really get into it without spoiling).

I know that's a huge list, but the show is definitely very rewarding--entertaining and full of more incredible twists and turns that one show has any right to be. Including the greatest housekeeper of all time, i would follow her into hell.

I can't get into more without spoiling, but yes, if you can handle this weird, wild ride, you should absolutely go on it. Sano Nami was a true talent.

[spacelesbiandisaster]

Part II of my head cannons for the masters of the younglings of the Gathering

(and others)

You can check Part I here!

Byph and Luminara Unduli

Listen, I know Luminara technically already have a Padawan, but let's just all agree that by the time Biph became ready to be a Padawan Barriss either already was knighted or she already bombed the Jedi temple and got expelled.

I love Barriss, so I just going to assume she never became a terrorist, got knighted and is very excited about her new baby brother, okay? Okay.

Also I think Byph would be the last among his classmates to pass the younglings tests to become a Padawan (I love him, but he just seems like the slow one of the group) so Luminara would have some extra time to finish taking care of her first Padawan.

Note: This set of headcanons are for a really specific fic I'm working on, so we may disagree on somethings but in my works Luminara is a great mom to Barriss and, eventually, to Byph as well. Barriss never hold her master accountable for what she did and seem to think highly of Luminara as far Tales of the Empire goes, so I will always assume the best regarding Luminara.

• Byph needs to learn how to deal with his fears

Luminara Unduli is the Jedi who decided to go into a sand storm just to get a chance to capture Poggle the Lesser and she also seem to have taught Barriss how to prepare herself any kind of situation she might encounter on field, and I think Byph needs those lessons.

Is okay to have fear of the dark or of scary creatures (likes he does in the Gathering), but Luminara could teach him to overcome those fears either by being prepared or by himself that whatever they do will affect hundreds of people all over the galaxy and it's the job as Jedi to protect those lives even when they are afraid.

Also Luminara looks pretty wild on her speeder on her way to capture Poggle, maybe she can be able to inspire some rebellion within Byph. It would be funny if he gets a tattoo on his teens (but not a Mirialan one, of course).

• Byph and Barriss are actually very similar (at least on my head)

I see Barriss as a very shy kid, specially when she was a youngling, and Byph also looks like he had social anxiety and can only be himself around people he already knows and trusts, which can be a huge problem for a Jedi. They need to interact with senators, kings, queens and the high society on general on a regular basis, being timid can get on the way of their job. Luminara on the other hand seem very sociable, cracking jokes with Obi-Wan and Anakin, stating her opinion even in front of people with higher rank than her, being firm when she needs to. And on top of that, she already got experience with a shy padawan and would know how to act when Byph got a little too anxious.

I don't have kids myself, but I think it's easy to take care of them when it's not the first time you do it. That's why I got so many traumas and my sister is fine.

• A politician to be

You know how we see Luminara in the Chanceller's office on the movies? I got a headcanon that she spent a lot of time on the Senate before the war, dealing with conflicts, stopping minor wars to happen, helping planets to join the republic. Things like theses, and I also think Byph would be great at this! He not the time of guy who would jump into conflicts, but I think he really cares about people and would find joy in helping planets avoid war. He probably would take the role of a adviser.

Of course that, by the time he his knighted, he is no longer afraid to fight, but that doesn't mean he enjoys swinging his lightsaber around like some of his classmates (aka Petro) do. Luminara would make a great teacher regarding politics.

Byph is probably my favorite youngling of his clan and it only makes sense to give him my favorite Master Jedi.

Petro and Aayla Secura

At first I thought about pairing Petro either with Quinlan or Anakin, but that would be way too chaotic and he would probably end up blowing way to many things up in his Jedi career.

My third choice would be Ahsoka, but I got other plans for her, so Aayla seen like a good fit for the boy.

• Aayla would balance some of Petro energy.

Aayla seen to had picked up some of Quinlan habits: She can be very confrontational and it's always up for a fight, much like Petro seems to be, but she also knows when control herself when she needs to (I can only wonder were she learned that. It wasn't with Vos!) being able to put her feelings aside while listening what the people actually expect her to do.

Petro needs to learn some of that self control!

• Petro would love to learn lightsaber combat with someone as skilled as Aayla.

Did seem Aayla fight? She is a goodness! I bet Petro already had a eye on her even before the Gathering, since he looks so interesting on learning how to wield his weapon. Also I think of him as being the best duellists of his youngling clan, so it only makes since to give him a master who could polish his skills even more.

• Aayla would teach him the value of forming strongs bonds with people.

I'm still assuming that the test the younglings had to pass on Ilum reveals a fault on their character that will take years to overcome, and in Petro's case it's that him kinda think himself to be better than others. It's not like he doesn't cares about his friends, but he can be a little selfish sometimes and Aayla is the opposite of that.

On the episode Anakin gets hurts and she have to take care of Ahsoka she teaches her that! Ahsoka wanted to stay with Anakin for selfish reasons and Aayla took time to explain to her why they could do this. She was very patient too, and force knows she will have to be while teaching someone like Petro who can get really cocky (gods help me to not be using this word wrong) sometimes. She would make him understand that sometimes a Jedi needs to put their needs on second place to be able to do their jobs.

Bonus

This two are the only Younglings of the episode "the gathering" that I didn't cover on part one, but there's four more force sensitive children that I like to imagining getting a master and living happily without order 66:

Reva and Anakin

Please remember that this is in a AU were Order 66 never happened and this baby girl never got traumatized by Anakin.

I think Anakin would feel in love with teaching after taking care of Ahsoka for so long and after a few years would give a second try on being a master, now way more experience and mature. Also he is such a girl dad (sorry Luke) that I had to give him another daughter/little sister.

• A lesson about emotions

Okay, I know Reva feel into the dark side because of Anakin, but at the very least she already had a inclination to immerse herself into negative emotions. And considering that Anakin was able to resist the dark side and stay a Jedi even after being manipulated for years by Palpatine, who would be better than him to teach her how to control her anger?

I mean, maybe Mace Windu, but he already got a awesome Padawan and lineage, so let's Anakin have this one.

They probably would fight a lot, but so did him and Ahsoka. That's probably just part of the experience. I think Reva could really grown to respect the man Anakin is, just like her older sister (Ahsoka), and would have a lot to learn with him about feelings and how to permit herself to have them without letting them control her actions.

• Anakin would feel respect by the order.

The way Reva speaks about Anakin Skywalker on the Kenobi series makes me think that all younglings adore the Hero with no fear, specially her! I think she would be a fan girl part of the time and Anakin would love the attention.

Also I'm considering that after killing Palpatine Anakin would come clean about his wedding and his newborn babies, and for the order not only allow him to stay in their ranks as a Jedi master but also let him take on another Padawan would make any fear of being a forever outcast disappear from his mind.

I also like to think that this time he not only choose to teach a Padawan, but also had time to make the decision of picking Reva specifically instead of having Yoda drop a kid on his hands without warning. All this facts would make Anakin more certain of his path as a Jedi.

I not going to come up with more excuses to make those two a thing because I just think they are neat and that's reason enough to me want them together as master and apprentice.

Jax and Barriss Offe

I have a elaborate story about how Barriss would become Jax's master but this only happens on the middle of the fanfic that I'm currently working on and I don't spoil so much of the plot, so I going to be very careful with what I say here.

I love the idea of Mirialans training other Mirialans so they can pass on their culture even inside the Jedi temple. It makes their species unique I who doesn't love unique aliens? But that's not the only reason I would paring them together:

• Jax is a edgy boy, just like his master!

(I mean, just look at their looks! I can hear MCR playing on the background of these pictures)

Only a few characters exhale so much angst as Barriss Offee, and I think Jax kinda matches this a little bit. I mean, it's probably because he's trap on a Imperial facility, but I like to think he would maintain some of his edgeness even inside the Jedi temple.

He is a bit of a rebel too, constantly questioning authority just like Barriss seem to be by the end of the clones wars. The difference is that Barriss bottle up her feelings until they explode (literally) and Jax would be a lot vocal of his concerns. Barriss would love this and would schedule some "debate" to hear him speak his mind and give him some of her own too. She also would know how to canalize his concerns into health activities.

Note: because of my shitty english I not sure if any of this made sense, but what Im trying to say it that Jax is a bit emo and Barriss understand him very well because she as well is a bit emo. They would go like "Oh the galaxy is so corrupt and the council fuck up all the time!" But Barriss would know what to do because she would be older and wiser. Does that makes sense?

• Jax is a fighter and Barriss could use some of his spirit.

You know when Jax tried to scape a Imperial facility but punching a stormtrooper? Yeah, now imagine this boy with a lightsaber!

I think Barriss good a tendency to got depressed fast whenever she seems something bad happing, just look at the time she got stuck on that tank on Geonossis with Ahsoka and she was like "Oh, I guess I'm going to die now..." This never stopped her from acting when she needed to, but the sentiment was definitely there.

Jax would drag his mom master to the craziest situations were Barriss would learn to never give up on a fight and Jax would, eventually,learn how to think before acting. They would be a good duo!

• A lesson on hope!

Much like Yoda, Barriss also needs a reason to keep believing on the future of the Jedi order, and having a Padawan so full of life would give her strength to keep fighting for her believes in a healthy way.

Barriss would move mountains so she could be sure Jax would never had to fight in a war and watch his friends die like she had to, at that means she would take on a leadership within the order. Make them distance themselves from the republic and focus on serving the people of the galaxy, just to create a better future for Jax and all the other younglings in the order.

(I just want to point out how great of a Gramma Luminara would be for Jax as well, but unfortunately I can't elaborate on it)

Sami and Ahsoka

Listen I will not give a trouble Padawan to Ahsoka!

She had enough with her master being Anakin Skywalker and she deserves a sweet kid like Sami who the worst she can to is skipping training to play with the kids in the creche. You will have to fight with me about it if you don't agree!

• Ahsoka needs to learn how to live in peaceful times and Sami would help with that!

Unlike Jax, Sami doesn't have a single aggressive bone in her. You know how she, a ten years old, look at a orphan baby and goes like "Okay, I'm your mom now!", that's how she is! She is a kind soul who loves to take care off people and doesn't like to fight.

Meanwhile Ahsoka is a war veteran whos whole Jedi career was in the middle of a battlefield. She not even sure what to do with her self once the war is over. Sami would help her to see that a Jedi doesn't always had to explode things and destroy droids to help people.

The funny thing is that in the second battle of Geonossis Ahsoka is unsure how Anakin is going to deal with peace and in my head cannon she's the one struggling the most. Giving her such a peaceful Padawan would kinda balance this out (sorry Sabine, I love you, but you not what Ahsoka needed)

• Sami could pick up some of Ahsoka's spirit.

In the bad batch she seems to be the scariest after hearing Omega's plain (which makes sense considering she's ten and a solo parent... I'm jocking) but by having a master like Ahsoka by her side she would grow more confident over the years and learn when put up on a fight. They balance each other!

Unfortunately I can't say much more without spoiling my story, so I going to leave at that, but I truly believe their dynamic would be interesting!

On top of that Ahsoka and Barriss would could help each other a lot when it comes to teaching their Padawans. Sami would enjoy a lot learning about forcing healing with Barriss (considering her caring nature) and Jax would count the days so he could have a sparring session with Ahsoka.

They would be co-parenting under the Jedi council noses and no one could said a thing because they are such good masters.

Edit: I forgot to say that, but I truly think Sami would be the one to end the reputation of Ahsoka's lineage to be those "unconventional Jedi". The Disaster lineage would live on Reva because (as far this AU goes) she is the closest one to fall to the dark side.

Eva and Shaak Ti

I feel really bad for them, but I can't add more pictures in this post and I don't what to make a part three just to include them. But it's okay because everyone knows who Master Ti is and I'm almost sure you guys know Eva too (the one with the Tooka doll that Omega made in the Bad Batch)

I going to be quick about them:

• Both Shaak Ti and Eva are deeply carrying people.

Eva is the sweetest! She tries to stay positive even if the situation is the literally worst possible and go out of her way to comfort her friends so they don't feel so bad.

Considering how Shaak Ti treats her clone troopers I think they would get along just fine.

• Shaak Ti is the maternal figure Eva needs!

You know how Eva is trying to get affection from every adult that crosses paths with her? Shaak Ti is already the mom is millions of clones, she can take one more daughter.

I think they would get along just fine and probably go into missions to establish clones rights in the republic, but I don't have anything more to say other than that.

Honorable Mentions

Bayrn

Bayrn is the baby on Project Necromancer, and he really doesn't have a personality that I could work with to set him with a master. But if I had to go with vibes only I would put him with Plo Koon. Please don't ask me to elaborate on it.

Edit: Now that I think about it, maybe Sami is old enough to become Bayrn's master someday, specially considering she manege to get knighted has early as Anakin and (in this scenario) Ahsoka.

Omega

Star wars never made it clear if Omega is force sensitive, so I'm choosing to believe she's not and on this scenario she would live with their brothers happily ever after.

Luke and Leia

For the fics I'm working on right now Luke and Leia wouldn't be force sensitive.

I have a headcanon that the force isn't something that can pass on genetic, and that's why Jedi avoid having biological children (what would they do with a bunch of non force sensitive children if they decide to have them?). The reason why Luke and Leia were born force sensitive in the main timeline it's because Anakin failed in bringing balance to the force and the galaxy needed a new hope.

If they were born force sensitive and Padmé somehow agreed to let them to join the order I would give Luke to Deppa Billaba and Leia to Mace Windu, because they would need experienced master and the order would be reluctant on giving the children to someone close to Anakin like Obi-Wan or Ahsoka. Also I like the of Deppa and Mace shaping them to be a little bit more stoic Jedi. But I truly think Luke and Leia could be more happy by following a different path.

That's it!

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC / Ominis Gaunt Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Hufflepuff partay! Spin the Bottle so there's kisses involved. Snuck something in for the Poppy/Imelda shippers too. Ominis and Norah being idiots part 2. Amit drinks his romantic troubles away.

Masterlist

Chapter 20

It's 2AM and the city is sound asleep But the scene keeps playing to the groove of my heartbeat

"Does everyone want to know what the rules are in Spin the Bottle?" Charlotte declared as many of them gathered in a circle. "Or do we need to refresh it for many of you?" A sly grin was plastered on her face, especially as she saw Norah, Ominis, Sebastian, and Amit taking their places after being coerced by Henry and Natty. Poppy and Andrew were already sitting across from each other in the circle, exchanging knowing looks. No doubt Poppy had told him the rules of the game, which they never got to play when it was first introduced.

"Alright then, remind us," Eric Northcott raised a brow as he sat down.

"This is an enchanted bottle," Charlotte brought out what looked like an ordinary soda pop bottle from the table behind her. "It'll spin, and whoever is on both ends of the bottle, well," Her grin grew wider. "Will kiss."

In real life, I would stutter With you in technicolor At 2AM in my head, we're bound to meet

Amit's cheeks turned a shade of pink, but he wasn't the only one. Norah suddenly felt anxious at the thought. She spotted Caleb and Adele come in, hurrying to join the rest of them that were already seated.

"I'll bet a few chocolate frogs Norah's going to get a lot of boys wanting to be on the other end of the bottle," Imelda was enjoying the spectacle that would unfold as soon as Charlotte would say it would. When Norah looked over, having overheard her, she gave a thumbs up.

"That seems like regular spin the bottle, doesn't it?" Caleb was confused.

"Revri, you need to pay attention," Charlotte blew a raspberry at him, making him shake his head. "It'll spin yes, but it won't just point to people sitting across from each other. It can also point to the others out of your line of sight. Ready?"

They all agreed, and Charlotte spun the bottle, getting out in time before the bottle started pointing at anyone.

I don't want anyone to wake me up I fall asleep, it's never been so fun I know it's wrong but it's true I like the things that we do in my Bad dreams, bad dreams Bad dreams, bad dreams

"Merlin, this is interesting," Natty looked on as the bottle finally pointed to a Gryffindor and Slytherin. Both of whom crawled to the middle to exchange a shy kiss followed by cheers and claps from everyone else. The pair sat back down in their places with ruddy cheeks.

Norah noticed Ominis fidgeting in his place next to her. "You okay?" His cheeks were a little pink.

"Yes, Norah, I'm fine," He said, almost in a whisper. "I didn't think this would be an outcome of the game."

"Muggles play this at parties a lot," Norah chuckled. "Especially muggles our age. It's a way to get close to whoever you fancy. At least for many of them."

I'm still on stage, and you're watching me count the stars Then I eat you up like milk and Lucky Charms In real life I'd be patient Fantasy adjacent So I indulge the sum to see the parts Fuck you, I love you, I need you

The bottle stopped to point again to Leander and Nerida, who gaped at each other and exchanged amused expressions. Leander reluctantly made the crawl toward Nerida, who took the initiative and kissed him. They also pulled away with red cheeks. "This never happened," Nerida pointed out.

"Agreed," Leander nodded, laughter erupting from everyone else. "Merlin, so this is what that game is about."

Sebastian looked over at Norah and Ominis, who were focused on the bottle that was spinning. The dilemma remained, even as he had overheard her conversation with Natty in the Room of Requirement. Norah was under the impression that Ominis liked Anne, but more importantly, that Norah liked Ominis. And he himself knew, that Ominis liked Norah too.

The cheers suddenly grew louder when the bottle suddenly pointed to Poppy, and, to the surprise of Andrew and many others, to Imelda. Norah gaped at the choice, grinning at her fellow Slytherin, who didn't seem to be phased by it. Oohs and aahhs erupted when the two girls had given each other friendly pecks and Poppy making sure to double the affection she showed Andrew, who was still shocked.

"That changes everything," Everett Clopton grinned, seeing everyone get increasingly excited when the bottle spun again.

I don't want anyone to wake me up I fall asleep, it's never been so fun I know it's wrong but it's true I like the things that we do in my Bad dreams, bad dreams Bad dreams, bad dreams

Everyone took a break from focusing on the game to the rest of what the Hufflepuff house had to offer in the party they hosted. The music grew louder, making everyone dance in their places while in conversation or while eating whatever snacks they could try. Garreth was preoccupied in giving everyone cups of his brew, looking pleased when people liked it and wanted more.

"Ah, Thakkar," Garreth eyed the Ravenclaw as he approached the table. "Care for some? You look like you could use a swig."

Amit suddenly noticed Samantha, who was talking to some of their fellow housemates in one corner. At the same time, he also noticed Nellie, who was already trying to climb up the mantel to the increased cheers of some Hufflepuffs, who had already consumed several cups of the strong beverage.

"Yes please," He said, reaching for a cup for Garreth to pour some of the alcoholic drink into. He downed it all in one go, to the surprise of the Gryffindor boy. Amit wrinkled his nose. "That is strong. I want another."

"Alright then, but too much can play tricks on your head," Garreth warned, pouring him another. "Probably get you drunk."

"That's what I'm counting on," Amit mumbled as he closed his eyes at the taste.

Relive the sin in REM And do it all again

Norah was helping herself to a few pasties at the very end of the table where the food has been on display. Several others returned to sit in the circle again to continue playing the game. Perhaps to wonder who they ever get to kiss if the bottle pointed at them at some point. She caught Garreth looking at her, and she waved as he gestured for her to have some. She shook her head, not wanting to get tipsy just yet.

"This party's different this time," Sebastian noted, his mouth still full of food.

"Yeah, who would've thought Imelda would get what she wanted," Norah chuckled upon remembering, making Sebastian stare at her. "Oh come on, you must have known."

"I did, but I didn't think it was Poppy," Sebastian grinned, looking over at the girl herself, who already excused herself to leave, passing by a few of the members of their house team. "Well, that might have knocked her down a peg."

Norah laughed. "Maybe, and also she's got a complete team for this year. I wonder when the first match is going to be."

"Possibly before the Yule Ball. I heard the teachers are already taking bets as to which house is winning the Quidditch cup this year," Ominis appeared, having overheard their conversation. He came after some prodding from Henry about Norah.

"Take this chance, Ominis," Henry reminded him as soon as he was sure Natty was out of earshot. "Otherwise, she might get kissed by someone the magic bottle's pointed to."

Norah chuckled. "Who are they betting on? Everett Clopton's got himself the newest broom, by the way."

The blonde took a careful bite out of the pasty he was holding. "That might be true, but it's on Gryffindor as usual, and Slytherin, of course. I heard Professor Weasley say it's going to be a battle of pride between Adele and Imelda."

Sebastian and Norah looked impressed. "Adele did tell me that her time was what Imelda had to beat before I beat Imelda's," She said.

The two boys hummed in confirmation. "Wouldn't expect anything less. If you were related to Alexandra Kang, you'd have big shoes to fill," Sebastian commented, glancing at the girl, who was talking with her fellow teammates. Norah and Ominis nodded.

"She must have a lot of pressure on her shoulders, but she certainly didn't seem like it when I talked to her before," Norah recalled, remembering the time she got caught coming out of the secret passage that led to the werewolf tapestries. She finished the last pasty she was holding and took a drink of butterbeer.

While the music had continued playing, Norah saw everyone simmer down in chatter when she realized the bottle was pointing to her. The enchanted bottle spun again in front of her, only for it to stop in front of Eric Northcott, followed by whispers and expressions of surprise amongst the students. Ominis felt his heart skip a beat, and a kind of sadness came over him when he realized the result. Sebastian had also felt even more crestfallen, especially as the Gryffindor boy - whom he remembers Norah bested in Crossed Wands - looked like he had won something.

Charlotte, on the other hand, looked slightly annoyed but defeated nonetheless. Nerida, who was actually dating Eric, looked intrigued and even exchanged knowing looks with Grace, who eyed Ominis. Natty and Henry looked shocked as well, the two of them breaking into clapping and cheering.

Norah laughed as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Better luck next time Garreth," She teased, with the freckled redhead grinning and giving a thumbs up. If Ominis wasn't going to be her first kiss, at least Eric would be, she thought as she approached him, calm as ever, to let Eric plant a soft peck on her lips. The two of them fist bumped as they pulled back, with Norah returning to her two friends, and Eric with his friends and Nerida.

"That seemed fun," She said, feeling even more calm. "Now that the bottle's already pointed to me, I'm just going to watch if you two get pointed at. Anne might've enjoyed this."

"She would have, but I don't want to see that," Sebastian cringed in disgust at the thought, while Ominis laughed.

"We might scare whoever it is away," Ominis added. "But parties seemed to be so much more bearable when she was with us. We'd be in the corner and Sebastian would be trying to flirt his way through the drinks table."

Sebastian glared at his friend. "I don't flirt with just anyone. Besides, it proved effective when I finally got them to move away from all the butterbeer and the food."

Norah took another drink of butterbeer, mentally kicking herself for having been the first one to bring up Anne. "I'll just get myself a pint of Garreth's fizz-beer."

I don't want anyone to wake me up I fall asleep, it's never been so fun I know it's wrong but it's true I like the things that we do in my Bad dreams, bad dreams Bad dreams, bad dreams

Norah managed to find a little corner in the midst of the merriment and sat down, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by their conversation. She looked on at the rest of the game that was happening, amused at the next set of people that the enchanted bottle was pointing to.

She was even more surprised when the bottle pointed to Adele, followed by it pointing to Sebastian. Both of whom looked completely shocked, but the initial surprise disappeared when the two of them confidently kissed each other. The Gryffindor girl, in particular, even cupping his face for good measure, and it was met with louder cheers. Sebastian seemed to enjoy making the spectacle as they pulled away, hitting high fives before going their separate ways.

"There you are."

She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Ominis, his wand pointing at her. Norah cleared her throat and shifted a little when the blonde sat down next to her. "Enjoying the party so far?"

A smirk formed on his lips. "Especially as Sebastian kissed Adele? Definitely. She took him by surprise, reminds me of your first duel with him."

She nodded. "I didn't see that coming, but I'm not completely surprised. It's that Gryffindor courage."

"This is one of the rare times I wish I could see without my wand," Ominis said, stifling a laugh. "He must've been so red afterwards."

"Oh he was," Norah laughed, making him laugh as well. She took another sip of her drink then glanced at him. "You must miss Anne a lot, huh?"

"Hmm?" Ominis hummed, tilting his head toward her. "Oh, I do, from time to time. The adventures you had with Sebastian in fifth year definitely made me think of her a lot."

She nodded. "...Are you thinking of asking her to the Yule Ball?" There it was. Norah wanted to confirm it, no matter how much it might hurt.

The blonde seemed taken by surprise at the question. "Me? Take Anne to the Yule Ball? Sebastian would kill me, pun intended."

Norah stared at him, then poked his side. "Too dark, Ominis," She said.

The action made him laugh, and it prompted her to keep doing it, tickling him. The sounds of his giggles like music to her ears. It was rare to see Ominis laughing like this. "Alright, alright, that's enough, Norah," He caught her hand, slightly warm from the butterbeer she was holding.

His heart was pounding as his hand enveloped hers. Henry's prodding seemed to help. All Ominis needed to do next was to hold her hand properly, lace their fingers together. He could only hope she couldn't feel his heartbeat through his hand if it was possible. This was all he wanted to do, keep holding her hand and maybe let her rest against him.

"Really, Ominis," She said quietly, cheeks ruddy from how gentle he was in holding her hand. "Are you taking Anne to the Yule Ball?"

"No," He replied, clearing his throat. "I never thought of asking her in the first place even if I've written to her. As much as I care for Anne, I don't think of her in that way."

There it was. The answer she wanted, which took Norah by surprise. She looked down at their feet while taking a long drink of butterbeer. "So...there was something else I wanted to talk to you about, but I never got around to asking."

Ominis tilted his head toward her again, and he swore their faces were a little too close this time. "What?"

As the music grew louder when the group decided to end the game, it made Norah lean in to speak near his ear. "Those letters, when you summoned me, what were those about?"

Ominis could feel his cheeks heat up even more. It reminded him of his previous dream. But before he could answer-

"Hey, Amit's gotten sloshed, we should probably take him back to his common room or something," Sebastian suddenly came in, making Ominis let go of Norah's hand.

"The most we can do is bring him to the door, we can't exactly go inside the Ravenclaw common room," Norah said.

"I'll do it, he's had far too many of Garreth's fizz-beers to drink," Henry suddenly came over to them, followed by Natty, who looked just as concerned, but was holding the hangover tonic she took from the freckled redhead. "We'll bring him back to the common room to get some rest."

As Henry and Natty went back to fetch Amit, the Ravenclaw boy had already passed out near the Hufflepuff house chest. Nellie was sitting by him, fanning his face.

[ardienothesieno]

QUICK

RAMBLE ABOUT AN OC!!!!

🎉 FIRST ASK!!!! HUZZAH 🎉

Uhhhhhh okay yall get a Glittering Oceans ramble cause they're the main oc I do stuff with here

GO was originally meant to be a really shy and socially awkward character, but over time they've lost the shyness and gained a lot of spunkiness (still socially awkward tho, I don't think I have a single oc who is actually good at talking to people (like me haha)) She also has ✨trauma✨ and also ✨abandonment issues✨ and also ✨severe anxiety✨ and also ✨self deprecation in favor of helping others issues✨ But i'll avoid going too deep into all of that unless you guys want me to (for now)

Oceans is really into archiving and data collection because of one experience they had a few cycles after her activation. They were working on a speculative theory regarding the intricacies of the karmic system when she was made blatantly aware of the gaps in the global information network. GO had been trying to find any information on whether or not other organisms were familiar with the concept of karma, but there simply was no data out there. This caused them to go down a bit of a hyperfixation rabbit trail, trying to find as many gaps in the archives as possible. Their ancients were all pretty checked out, so they all kinda just let her do her own thing.

Unfortunately, Glittering Oceans is located... in the middle of an ocean... so they can't do a lot of their own research. Because of this her personal project mostly involves sending out an absolute shit ton on overseers to collect data on anything and everything so they can continue to update the global network for everyone. If any ancient or iterator happens to google some obscure fact, there is an approximately 25% chance that information exists because of Oceans.

This is why they have so many different types of overseers!! I currently have designs for six overseer types of hers (I'm thinking bout giving them a seventh tho) They have regular ol' overseers, overseers made for precise data collection, overseers that are capable of transporting pearls and manipulating objects, overseers that boost the broadcasting signals of other overseers, overseers that help keep her structure maintained, and overseer overseers-- ones that she can project her consciousness into like their puppet and thus monitor all of that juicy data collection

i have so much more to talk about her and their local group members but this is already pretty chunky so I'll maybe save that

SEND MORE ASKS IF YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY BLORBOS

[creepy-spooghetti]

hey if you don't mind could I get a Creepypasta matchup?

I'm Transmasc

I'm bisexual

I often wear a hoodie and jeans.

I am in INFP and Cancer (Zodiac)

I really like drawing but I'm bad at it.

I'm 5'3.

I'm really shy, but if I am comfortable with you I can be loud and chaotic.

I'm really kind and love helping people!

I love jokes and tell them a lot

I laugh easily I like animals and being around them (including bugs!)

I also like reading from time to time.

I get cold easily.

I like watching Spongebob and Regular Show.

I have anxiety and social anxiety.

I have PTSD

I like to play games I prefer Animal Crossing, Pokemon or Rhythm games.

I really like Punk Pop, Pop or Rock music.

My favorite musical artists are, Mitski, Jack Stauber, Twenty-one Pilots, Hollywood Undead, Cavetown and Green Day

I listen to Lofi music to calm down

Also, can I be called Frost Anon?

You sure can, Frost Anon :D

I match you with...

Jeff!

Jeff, at first, wasn't very interested in you. You were cute and all, but that kinda attitude never really drew him in.

That was until he came back from a mission one day with an injured arm, and since Jack wasn't there to assist him, he had to try to doctor and wrap it himself. You noticed his obvious struggling and stepped over to offer your help, and a little startled, he allowed you to take the reigns.

He couldn't figure out why you would go out of your way to do this for him, when you probably had plenty of other - more important - things to tend to. When you were finished, he blinked down at you, muttered a hesitant, "uhh...thanks", and you gave a meek grin in response.

He kind of started seeing you differently after that event, and he couldn't quite decipher why.

All he knew was that suddenly, he noticed your presence whenever you walked into the room, he'd listen to what you were saying at all times, and he even began to snort at the little jokes you told, even if some of them were cheesy. He did this quietly, of course, but you didn't fail to note it.

And one day, he saw you giving his good boy Smile the affection he deserves, and his heart melted. That was when he realized that he definitely might have had a teensy eensy crush on you.

This 'crush' only evolved as time progressed, and he decided maybe it would be worth his time to get to know you, so that's exactly what he did.

A bit abrasively, sure, but what more can you expect from Jeff?

The moment you first giggled at a snarky, off-handed comment he made about one of the other residents was the moment he felt a new kind of accomplishment.

He adored how you sounded when you laughed - especially because of him - so he made a viable effort to get that reaction out of you whenever he had a chance. It made his pride swell every time he succeeded.

He didn't bother using small talk to get closer to you, nor did he use typical flirting tactics - he simply acted like himself (perhaps dialed back a bit so you wouldn't be overwhelmed), as Jeff is capable of being no other way. Thankfully, this worked in his favor.

Liu convinced him that you were receptive to his, uh...advances? And told him to just go for it, as the worst thing that could happen was rejection.

He begrudgingly took his advice and sorta just blurted out a confession while the two of you were in the middle of watching TV.

"Yeah, uh, by the way, I like you a lot I think."

It was a bit startling but you were flattered nonetheless.

As a boyfriend, Jeff is surprisingly mature. He isn't needy or possessive, and he rarely gets jealous to a concerning extent, unless you just intentionally throw yourself at another attractive individual.

It's often overshadowed by his tendency to be brash and easily annoyed, but when his walls are down, he can be rather sweet, and you and his brother are really the only ones that have access to this hidden side of him.

When a chill sweeps your body, he will not hesitate to wrap you in a blanket burrito and then proceed to take a picture of you, where he'll then make it his screen saver. And he'll swaddle you tightly too - like, you have to fight to escape the blanket's grasp, and he'll either sit there and watch in amusement or leave you alone to your own devices.

Honestly, he was a very big Spongebob fan when he was a kid, so he will eagerly flop down onto the couch next to you when it turns on, singing along to the intro in the dumbest pirate voice he can muster.

Despite his normally light-spirited personality, he can get serious when the moment calls for it. When you get anxious, have a panic attack, get flashbacks, or have a nightmare, he is there to help in whatever way he possibly can.

He's not an expert by any means at comforting people, but he will do his absolute best to talk you down, keep his tone soft, reassure you that everything's okay, and offer physical contact when it's needed. He doesn't like seeing you genuinely upset, over anything, so puts an extra amount of effort into making sure you're alright.

He was never really into video games, but you got him hooked on Animal Crossing, and now he can legit spend hours playing it at a single time.

Like you try to drag him away and he's just like, "yeah yeah, in a minute" and will be there for another three hours if you let him.

It isn't his fault the game's so freaking addictive!

If you ever happen to fall asleep with him, beware. This man is a snorer.

He claims he isn't, of course, but that doesn't magically make it true.

I also hope you like being scared outta your wits from time to time because Jeff will certainly deliver on that.

[desiderii-fic]

For the writer asks (there were so many good ones! I had to limit myself!!): 💫 🌈 💕 🕯️

I don't...interact much because I am very shy, but :points at eyes, points at you:. You are a delight and I need you to know that I appreciate you immensely. Whenever I see your name pop up around this tumblr, it always encourages me. :)

The questions tho!

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Honestly, I'm delighted by every kind of comment so I have...less of 'favorites' and more of 'kinds that stick out in my memory'? And those kinds are 1) 'reread' comments that state or imply that they're leaving this on their second+ time back (!!!), 2) the 'I am commenting on every chapter because I am very enthusiastic' comments that I am always so shy about replying to, and the 3) rambles. I REALLY adore rambles, because sometimes they're not very coherent, which I find just...really delightful and charming. They're just full of stuff that someone liked and give me a little glimpse into the person who left it.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Oh, yes! The entire fic of Our Corners Start To Curving 'Til We Shine. It's set in the John Wick universe, but after the second movie and before the third, so it's a little older and I'm sure no longer canon compliant. It's all OCs since it was for a worldbuilding challenge and it's one of my shortest fics, too, so you wouldn't think it would be anything special, but it was a deliberate exercise in writing something short, sharp, and concise that was also a complete and finished story. At the time, those traits made the writing style an active departure from my regular style (...in 2018, wow. It feels like much longer ago.). I was stepping out of my comfort zone on purpose, and I'm deeply pleased about how it came out. Finishing it and polishing it up affected my writing style in a lot of ways, tbh, and made me a better writer in general. My fics before it are in some ways denser and more sprawling and my fics after it are planned tighter and with an eye toward using a limited page more effectively.

💞what’s the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

I think this is the double heart one that you mean! The most important bit, for me, is the interactions between characters. So a little bit of character, a little bit of plot, a little bit of dialogue, but most specifically all of it revolving around how characters respond and react to one another, because that's where I find the most crunch to explore when I write. There's a...it's sort of a vibrating tension between the lines/characters when I get it right, and that's something that I specifically chase whenever I'm setting words down on the page. When the note is hit just right, I can feel it like a shiver somewhere in the vicinity of my emotions, and I'm always hoping that it comes through even just a little to a reader.

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you’re not a social person/experience social anxiety?

(ETA: oh shit there are two candles? If you were thinking the other one, ping me and I'll answer that instead? Ahha.) Oh! This is such an interesting question (if a bit leading, lol, I hadn't noticed that before trying to answer it). I'm bad at interaction and engagement because I'm definitely in the 'shy' and 'tired' categories, but it's... I think interaction is a big part of what makes fic and fanart and other fandom stuff into play. I share things I'm enthusiastic about. I take them apart and put them together and tell stories about them and then save the results for later. I CAN do it on my own, and I honestly write more because I can't get ideas out of my head than I do because I need interaction about them, but it's a deliberate choice for me to make the Stuff I'm Getting Out Of My Head into something for the community. Because I want to participate in the sandbox everyone else is playing in, because that's where the people are, and I like people. Plus, half the fun is yes-anding, or finding someone with a wildly different interpretation that you think you could make something out of, or getting a new angle off of something you would never have thought of otherwise because of your particular lived experience vs their particular lived experience. Without interacting, you get YOU out of it, but you don't get anyone else, and I find a great deal of joy in the fact that other people are producing NEW stuff about a thing I love. So. The thing with me is that I'm super reserved, and the 'shy and tired' means I'm more likely to go 'ah, I simply cannot just now' and make a mental note to respond at some later date (andthenIdidn't_johnmulaney.gif). So I don't...honestly interact much as a creator. I interact way, way more as an audience member. Which, from the PoV of a creator, I think is pretty dang valuable, yanno? But I do what I can in a more...hrm. So, I reblog things I like, I comment when I have the bandwidth, and I don't stress about how I as an individual am somehow be responsible for aggregate trends in not commenting or something. All this is play: I join the game when I can and don't sweat when I can't. (I also have a vague tangent about how the ability to be seen and found by literally the whole world instead of a small niche subcommunity has made everything just...so much different, but I think that's for another time. :))

Thank you so much for the ask, @opalynne!

[roughlytwentytwofrogs]

It's a late night/early morning autism thought but i feel the need to scream at the void tonight for reasons.

A little context, I'm afab and I'm not diagnosed. I've been having doubts since i was ~14 years old, I'm 24 now. A detail i feel is important before i start: when i was a kid, my mother was the director of a centre social (i can't find the translation, it was basically a daycare for children with disabilities), and she worked with low functioning autistic kids for a good few years. I have a little brother who is 7 years younger than me.

We're around the table for dinner, and we're exchanging anecdotes. My mother's is: I'm 8 years old, my teacher recommends my mother to screen me for autism, but since i do not behave like the kids she had at work, she doesn't take the question seriously. Of course, I'm not autistic, I speak well and I'm actually really good in class! They consider putting me a grade above. They don't, because they think I'm too dependant on my sister, who is a year older: i only hangout with her and her friends, and it would be better if i managed to get my own friends in my own class, for a change.

I will spend the rest of my school years reading books and doodling in class, bored, and still struggling to make friends. And that teacher will simply stay silly for bringing up autism about a child who doesn't have a meltdown when she's touched.

Fast forwards, my little brother is 14 years old and since my parents' divorce is acting out: meltdowns, lashing out, refusing to go to school, intense anxiety attacks. My mother accepts to screen him for autism, he gets a diagnosis: he's on the spectrum.

A few months later, I'm talking with my mother. She tells me that she regrets not having noticed his autism earlier; she tells me that she never thought he could be, because he's always behaved just like me! So she assumed we were both just regular kids doing kid things.

Now, of course there's a lot more to the story, a lot of variables and influences I can't get into without turning this into an autobiography. But that is a sentence that crushed me so much, even if it was just a offhand comment.

You were just a picky eater, you were just academically gifted, you were just shy, you were just a loner, you were just really passionate about history. You didn't like to be in public; you didn't like loud noises and eye contact; you ripped the tags out of your shirts; you would put on earbuds and stare at the ground for hours - literally - while muttering stories to yourself. That kid is just in her own little world, in her bubble!

And all of that was just quirky. It was just annoying or funny or looking for attention. Anecdotes! Your friends laugh, then tell their own funny kid stories.

Meanwhile I'm 24 and still wondering if i should get diagnosed. Convinced that I might be making it up for attention, or something. Struggling for an entire decade with feelings of othering and incomprehension of the world around me, but also a fear of being wrong about it. I still rip the tags off, I still only eat canned peas - not frozen - and cringe at bubbles in drinks and don't touch seafood, I still wear those damn earbuds everywhere and stare at the ground, I still don't do eye contact.

And I'm being told that the reason why my brother's autism was screened so late is because I was never diagnosed.

[hollow-prey]

thinking about that post making the rounds talking about the interaction dilemma in the self ship community, and I have some Thoughts but didn't want to lump it onto the main post bc some of them are a bit petty and, well, this turned into a lengthy train of thought.

I do agree that there is definitely some uneven distribution of interaction around the self ship community. Bigger/more popular blogs tend to get more attention, asks, validation, and yes, sometimes even uncommissioned fanart and small fics of their self ships. I won't lie, I do get jealous sometimes seeing popular blogs getting heaps of attention. And it can feel frustrating (and sometimes a bit condescending) when bigger blogs make posts saying "the popularity of your self ships shouldn't matter! You should be doing this for yourself! You don't need any outside validation for your self ships to be important :)", yet most of them don't have to worry about that since they're the ones frequently getting outside validation and asks and whatnot.

That sounds petty as hell, I know. And yeah, it is petty and silly to feel that way about something like this. But it's so easy to feel jealous and bitter and even discouraged when posting one's self ship content and getting little to no response, while the same handful of popular blogs in your orbit seem to be raking in the notes and interaction all the time.

To be fair, it is true that self shipping should primarily be about and for your own enjoyment. Each self ship is something created and maintained solely for yourself, you make the rules, you can tweak and rewrite and eliminate canon as you please, you can do whatever makes your heart happy. But also, as the original post said, we are social creatures and we like sharing stuff we make with others. We like knowing that other people see and enjoy our work. We like the interaction and the validation. And it can start to sting when we constantly put ourselves and our self ship stuff out there in the hopes of someone noticing and saying something, yet getting nothing at all.

I know no one owes me anything. I'm very shy and I keep to myself and I rarely post in the main tags. People are busy, myself included, and when it comes to supporting self ships, most people are going to prioritize their friends and mutuals over some rando small account they have no connection to. I get that, and I'm not faulting anyone for it.

The easiest and most obvious solution to this dilemma is, naturally, for blogs (regardless of size) to interact with people more (also regardless of blog size), especially if they're not a mutual or a friend or even a familiar account that you follow. Find other small blogs! Reach out! Send a message! Find self shippers who enjoy the same content as you!

Easy enough in practice, but I can also understand why some people are hesitant to reach out to strangers. Speaking for myself, I'm very shy. I have anxiety. Talking to new people, both online and in real life, often makes me nervous. I'm afraid people will hate me immediately for something I like. I'm afraid people are going to judge me for my taste in f/os. Some people might seem intimidating to talk to, even though they're just another regular person! So I realize it would be bold of me to request interaction from others when I'm so shy and barely interact with strangers as it is.

I want to try and be better at reaching out to different self ship blogs and sending messages or prompts. Mostly because it's just a nice thing to do, and in theory, it should set the wheel of "interaction karma" in motion, where (in theory) something you do (like sending an ask) comes back to you in a similar way (receiving an ask), repeat the cycle and keep the interaction flowing across the community. You know, "you must give if you want to receive" and all. It keeps things from being one-sided, where a chain of people keep taking prompts and posts from the last person who reblogged it but never giving anything back. Like when people post those ask games and say to practice "reblog karma" i.e. send a message from the prompt list to whoever you reblogged it from, or whoever reblogs it from you, so they get something in return. This is, of course, a wonderful idea when it works. But that can still feel one-sided at times when people (especially small blogs) follow the "reblog karma" rules and send asks/prompts/messages upon reblogging an ask game or prompt post, only to still get nothing in return.

And again, I know, people are busy and they have lives outside of tumblr, ultimately no one owes anyone anything, and most blogs are going to prioritize friends and mutuals when it comes to interaction and ask games and the like. Interaction is important, and I think increased activity from all corners of the self ship community would be awesome. But it's also important that we don't burn ourselves out or spread ourselves too thin trying to interact and send stuff to every self ship blog we come across. Sending asks and the like to other blogs shouldn't feel like a chore or some endless daunting task.

TL;DR though I'm a very small blog and often keep to myself because I'm very shy, I want to try and be better about interacting with other self ship blogs, especially ones I'm not already familiar with. Hopefully others will do the same (without burning themselves out). And hopefully this post made some sense despite being all over the place.

[skylerfurmaniac-deactivated]

HELLO MY CHEOTIC MANIC FRIEND, I WANTED TO ASK

Wana spill a bit out your ocs/persona :3?

.......gyaghgjbdhgsfjhghjkfhgjsf uuuuuuuh

welp now I feel obliged to just give you every single one of my oc and shit and a bit behind them sooo

this is gonna be a long post lol uh

everything underneath the keep reading!!

SKYLER:

They are my persona! they are everything I want to be and how I want to look like! They're personality is the same as mine and, everything else lol

-5'6

-they/them

-is a god don't ask

-MAJOR TRAUMA lol duh

-they can't die, yet they kinda want to

-has insanity attacks

-also if they loss control of themself, they kinda turn into a monster and rage havoc and murder if no one stops them

-only a few can stop them, having to be a close friend or lover (spamton)

-when they fall into the dark world, they start getting possessed by the "other being" (us)

-they fight with it, being able to have control, but sometimes its to much, and the player takes control for a bit

-they are a god so that's why they can gain control easier

oh yeah they do have a dark world outfit! I just made it yesterday lol

anyways I'm getting an actual ref for the dark world and regular self stuff lol

they have daggers >:3

SPAMTON EX/DIALTONE/DIAL:

its my spamton ex, needeth anymore explanation?

well I guess a bit

uh

-showhost, the show is called "THE BIG SHOT SHOW!" and its a game show, but it also can range into other things

-also has a phoneline on where you can call him!! (spamton's asks lol)

-10'8 he's tall

-since he's like half robot, he puts his like, entire code into a hard drive, so if anything happens, you can just repair his body a bit, put in the hard drive, and he's back!

-he has wings, but they are kinda small, and he's a bit embarrassed about them, so he usually keeps them hidden away unless he really likes you and trusts you <3

-yes, he does have a bit of ADHD and autism, but not too much where it really affects stuff, he just stims and some other stuff

-VERY STUBBORN

-if you get to him, he's actually a very great lover, and will give you a lot of affection, but he just is not the best with it in public, kinda shy about it tbh

-he/it pronouns

HARVET:

this is Harvet! she goes by she/they pronouns and are a bit of a goth lol

-20 years old

-likes rock

-secretly gay lol

-has a crush on Nieve :3

-trans!

-5'11

i don't have enough info on them yet sadly :/

NIEVE:

my other blorbo and the one that Harvet has a crush on lol. Tjhey are so innocent to this world yet at the same time can will kill you =)

-19 years old

-she/her pronouns

-is into drawing and likes animals

-the rainbow and sparkles kind of person in the group :D

-5'8

-is questioning if she is gay or not

same thing as Harvet lol

SILVIA:

my fursona :3

-7'8

-they/them

-dragon :3

SANTUILUS/SAMMY:

oc from spamton!! so yeah

uh

-17 or 18 years old still kinda deciding

-autistic & adhd

-cant remember anything past like 9-10 years old

-doesn't remember how he got those scars

-8'6 feet tall

-pronouns he/it/they

-They're a little shy baby, and has a lot of social anxiety, but if it finds just this one person, lover or just friend, you will the most important thing to him

-he doesn't have a lot of people to interact with sadly

-touch starved

-has trama lol, but it doesn't remember even half of it until, like later XD

-he still tries they're best with everyone, even if it gets a bit scared with it ,:)

-has some panic attacks, but he isn't to mentally damage, don't worry

annnd that's it!!!

:D

I hope you enjoyed my rambles about my characters lol

[the-abyss-gazes-into-you]

Guess what! I'm back!

(zero people cheered)

Anyways. I completely forgot I made the earlier post and thank gods I don't have to write it all down again. I don't know how I slid back here, I guess I just got overwhelmed by everything I wanted to do. I started playing Minecraft again during the summer, I still have so many sewing projects queued that I don't go thrifting because there's no space in my wardrobe for any more pieces and it would be just lying around, I haven't written anything and I got several books for school at the library on Tuesday and barely opened the first one. For the past few days I've been having terrible headaches, sensory overload to the point I was either putting earplugs in my ears or cursing myself for forgetting them at home and have already forgotten to take my meds twice. I'm just glad I have Ernie, pretty much my emotional support bunny now since she learned to trust me.

Yesterday I was at another shift at the café and my coworker asked if I was okay, that I seemed scattered. So I told her about being overwhelmed by sound and that also I wanted to get tested for ASD (because I was hoping it would explain to her my confusion at some social interactions and genuinely not knowing why and how to ask customers if they want anything else because her colleague never asked me to do that...) and, as kind of expected, which is why I hadn't told her before that, she said that she thinks autism looks different. I was prepared for that, telling her that she only sees me twice a week for less than three hours and hasn't seen me on the really bad days, plus she used to meet me only before school started (when I wasn't so scattered).

Which kind of made me think of something I'd like to talk about today.

I've known about my autism for half a year now and during the summer I sometimes wondered if it was true, because the social anxiety got better, sensory issues got better, I kind of learned to balance routine with chaos for the ADHD part of my brain... And now it's getting worse again. You know why? Because living in the modern society is fucking exhausting even for neurotypicals.

I spent two months without having to worry about studying, grades, getting ready to come to school on time, could put my headphones on almost all the time (and I did), and I spent almost a month total with really chill people, touching a lot of grass and not having to worry about my appearance or criticism for my behaviour. Of course I got a lot better, I wasn't stressed out all day every day, but those issues still were there.

So I'd like to put some signs I wrote down in a notebook a few months ago, for myself and maybe others to see, that remind me I'm not making it up and actually am struggling with some stuff. And I'd like to note that anyone can have symptoms of anything, they don't inherently mean a disorder or illness on their own, it points to something when one is showing a combination of them. Plus, I thought of a specific thing distinguishing us from neurotypical people the other day - my sister just began high school and has started having lunch in the same cafeteria as me and mum at another school, and even though she's a very social person, the first day she asked if I could pick up her lunch and when I asked why, she just gave this little laugh, wriggled a bit and said "I'm shyyyyyy." Eventually, mum went with her and showed her the place, but I couldn't stop thinking about the difference - there were times when I didn't want to go somewhere, but I wasn't shy, I was anxious about it, I didn't know what to do, what to say, how would people respond but most of all, I was afraid of them seeing me as weird. You know, your regular old rejection sensitivity disorder. I don't think most neurotypical people get stressed about a shift at work just because they don't know if it will be a calm or a hectic one and can't get mentally ready for it. It's completely socially acceptable to be shyyyyyy, but it's weird and not normal to be panicking about taking your clothing to the dry-cleaning because people behind counter.

Anyways, I'm ending my essay and going on to the bullet points.

Special interests ("obsessions") throughout my childhood. There's a difference between a hobby and fucking brainrot from Pirates of the Caribbean to the point you're memorizing facts about pirates from an encyclopedia from the library to dump on anyone who would pretend to listen.

Physical contact is weird. I don't mind it in general but I do if people don't ask, I have no idea how hugs work and sitting next to people on public transport and any pieces of your clothing brushing with theirs is a nightmare.

I need precise and detailed instructions or I'm lost. People get annoyed of course.

Simultaneously, sometimes I'm eleven steps ahead of other people in conclusions or work. (my classmates in english don't say anything anymore when I finish a whole page in the book before they get the first exercise done because it's just patterns.)

Sensitivity to light and noise (my ADHD and ASD keep arguing about the light/dark mode on my laptop all the time so I switch it literally every five minutes), it might be the cause of all the headaches I get.

Problems with switching tasks because lmao hyperfocus.

Recognizing some patterns very easily which I think makes learning languages a lot easier for me and also helped me to learn to mask really well (my whole childhood I was just doing Ctrl + C - Ctrl + V of dialogue patterns from films and books).

Thick white edible substances tend to make me sick just looking at them and when something gets burned, I need to get out immediately or I'll start panicking.

Authorities are so complicated? I rarely communicate with people in a position of power like I'm expected to, I just don't give a shit and go with the truth, and even when I try to be very, very respectful, I sometimes cross some line and offend someone without realizing, get confused when they get mad and then feel like I'm an awful person and will end up abandoned by everyone because of it. Simultaneously, there were several times when I noticed a teacher that I respected, getting annoyed by classmates who just went on and on because apparently nobody was getting the vibes and I guess crowd effect, and was the only one trying to make them stop because it didn't work on me.

Sometimes I physically can't move on from some things because they don't make sense to me, I need to find a solution or I can't focus on anything else.

Sometimes I panic and start throwing a passive-aggressive tantrum when I get confused and frustrated that I don't understand something, nothing makes sense and I don't know what to do about it.

When I was a kid, I'd sometimes kind of throw tantrums over things like clothing not being exactly in the place where it was supposed to on my body or I started crying at a GoT-themed summer camp when they put me in a different house than the one I was emotionally attached to from the previous year (no, I still haven't seen the show or read the books, I have no idea why they made it a theme at a summer camp for kids.)

Stimming and repetitive behaviours like spitting in the sink until it feels right in my mouth, blinking with one eye and then the other, getting the other hand wet when one already is, rocking back and forth while I'm waiting at the cash register for a long time, picking on my skin...

A lot of the time I just have no idea how I feel. Though mostly when I get stressed and overloaded.

Stuff like when I put a clean cup in the sink, it gets "contaminated" and I need to wash it or I touch the hole between bricks on the sidewalk with my shoe and get "contaminated" and need to get it off or go back and take the step again to be able to continue.)

If you make a sarcastic joke and make it sound and look serious, don't expect me to get it, alright? I'll just start dissecting it.

Organizing literally anything sparks so much joy

Dependence on routines and plans way in advance and getting completely lost when they change.

Infodumping because I don't know how to pick out important information and everything is interesting.

Memorising whole scenes and films by heart (there was a time when I could quote the entirety of MLP Equestria Girls word by word.)

I literally went to my friend's drinking and weed birthday party with a toothbrush and toothpaste. The only reason I didn't bring pyjamas is that I forgot to take it.

I'm half-asleep now so just bye and I hope this is useful for someone. :)

[flock-keeper]

Honestly, I'm a shy person and because of that I feel that I don't get as much interactions but despite that I am grateful for the people who read the things I post about Fearghas and RP with me. I put a lot of effort, research and love into making him and the rest of his family so I'm glad when people like what I create.

I apologize for being so shy ooc. If I was more outgoing I would probably have more active followers, but I am trying my best. Sometimes I don't talk to people because I feel like I'm being annoying or a nuisance to others. But like I said before I am trying my best. I deal with social anxiety, so that's why I'm not really that social but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate you all because I do.

Fearghas is just a regular person, I made him to be more relatable to me personally since I myself am learning how to play guitar and I want to make music of my own in the future.

[sophywolfy]

I Might As Well Introduce Myself Finally :)

Henlo! I am Sophy/X-AL, whichever you think fits me best! I am the Androgynous, mythical being whom runs this little blog in my corner of Tumblr! I haven't been on Tumblr (at the time of writing this) for very long, but regardless I am happy to be here! Stuff About Me: ~ I go by Sophy or X-AL! Either name works for me! ~ I'm Androgynous! And I have no preference whatsoever on pronouns! Use whichever fits your image of what I am to you! ~ I am a 20 yr old user! ~ I am from the MST part of Canada, and usually I'm around all the time! ~ I use Discord, Instagram, AO3, and Toyhouse mainly, alongside Tumblr. (I go as "Sophywolfy" on all those) ~ I love to talk in paragraphs- Idk why I do considering I don't like talking irl much, but on social media, when comfortable or excited, I just type out a long ass thing and then apologize afterwards usually- xD ~ I main in the artist side of the creative stuff, but I do write occasionally! I'll off and on post my art here on Tumblr once I get a better watermark situated- xD ~ My Main Fandoms I'm In: Labyrinth, HTTYD, Transformers, CoD ~ My Secondary Fandoms: Minecraft, Jurassic Park/World, Warrior Cats, Avatar (James Cameron) ~ My Tertiary Fandoms: SCP, Halo, Rio, WoF, anything else I may post/talk about ~ I love all types of music! Some of my fav music artist are; David Bowie, Hollywood Undead, Alan Jackson, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and many other country, pop, alt, rock and the occasional metal band! ~ Some of my fav movies are; Labyrinth (please- talk to me about this movie, I have so much brain rot about it rn- xD), HTTYD 1, Transformers (TFP, Bayverse, G1), Rio, Jurassic Park III, Jurassic World II. Other Stuff: ~ I have no idea how 90% of stuff works, I'm just here to post, maybe make some new friends (please- you are absolutely welcome to message me, as long as it's not a generic "Hello" with nothing else, I'll happily answer :D) and hang out while finding memes, art and written stories I like! ~ I'm literally going to use this singular blog as my hodgepodge cauldron to share myself on another site and see how it goes! ~ I also literally suck as posting anything in a regular/constant way, I'll go from being dead for weeks on end, to suddenly posting every few days, consistency is not a thing with me- xD ~ I would also love to gain more online friends! I have like... 1 atm I think- and I wanna talk with more people, so please feel free to talk with me! I may be shy at first, but I will answer! ^^ End Notes: ~ I'll probably update this post as I go! ~ Please absolutely feel free to talk to me about anything and everything! I don't bite and usually I'm more scared than you are to talk- (social anxiety :') ) ~ Feel free to ask me questions or use the question box thingy to suggest stuff for me to draw, write or see/watch! I'm always looking for suggestions and ideas!! Tysm for reading my splat of talking! I hope those who read this have a great day and I'll be around to post more soon! Last Updated: Nov 13th, 23'

[klara-rosa]

Today I had a meeting with my immediate higher-up for like a yearly evaluation and I am obviously an axious mess and a TERRIBLE conversationalist and with men it's even worse so I was not looking forward to it even though I have known my higher-up since childhood and I was friends with his daughter but still it's just a trigger for me

But I think he knows what I'm like and so does everyone at my work, meaning I am the 💫 quiet 💫 girl, so he made it short and sweet and was very nice but he said in between "please feel free to interject at any moment this is a two way conversation" so now I feel like he was passive aggressively telling me that I don't talk a lot and it's driving me insane like I'm really anxious and feel bad now

At the same time he told me he feels like I'm naturally calm and quiet and sort of resting within myself so I hope he understands that I just don't want to say stuff....when I don't want to say stuff. If I feel comfortable and safe and want to communicate something, I will. But on the regular I just don't have shit to say

I dunno I'm just so insecure because I was told by my former boss in this same organisation that I come across as so shy and depressed and being quiet was made out as something bad and a negative in my character.

And while a lot of me being so calm comes from my anxiety (which I don't tell anyone about), a lot is also just about being an introvert and regaining energy in being quiet and thinking about stuff all the time. Sometimes I hate that I'm so awkward in social situations but I have been trying to not be so hard on myself always and to just - be - every now and then. So when I'm at work and I don't want to join a conversation, instead of making myself feel pressured and bad about that, I just let myself be quiet.

That's what I'm about anyway right now like I'm at a point in my life where I just want to change how I talk and think about myself and I don't want to judge myself for every single little thing I feel and do. I want to be kinder and warmer towards myself. My former therapist said this to me years ago and I think about it so often: you owe yourself some kindness.

So I'm just gonna be quiet, shy and okay with that and I wanna try to find confidence in that so that I come across as more established (which is what my boss also said).

But if one more person at my work ever says something like, OMG why are you so quiet, I'm gonna tell them to mind their own business and to leave me alone. ✌️