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headlinxr · 30 days ago

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❪ 致你 ❫ ⨾ to you ﹐ 𝓳.𝔀

──𝐒YNOPSIS ┆ 𝔀. you've been meaning to visit your brother 𝐦in-gyu's new house for a while now. but when you finally arrive, somene else greets you─won-woo, his enigmatic roommate. nothing is quite as your imagined, and little by little, that stranger begins to stir questions within you... and feelings you never expected.

──𝐏AIRING ┆︵ 𝓦 ... 𝒻.ᐟℛ𝓮𝒶𝒹𝓮𝓻 (ft. 𝐦in-gyu, 𝐬eventeen).

──𝐖ARNING(s)┆𝐫eader is 𝐦in-gyu's sister, won-woo is 𝐦in-gyu's roommate, 𝐦in-gyu model, writer won-woo, artist 𝐫eader.

𓆤 ⎯⎯͟͟ HEADLINރR .☽༊˚ .°

It was Saturday, and today you were finally going to visit your brother in his new home. Min-gyu was always busy, with a schedule so tight that there was barely room to breathe, much less receive visitors. Opportunities to see him were few and far between, so any excuse to stop by and say hello was a small accomplishment. As an up and coming model, his career had him completely absorbed; it wasn't easy to find a niche in the life of someone making his way up through the big leagues.

Ever since he told you about his new apartment in one of Seoul's most exclusive areas, you had been curious to meet him. You'd been wanting to go for some time, imagining what the place he now called home would be like. And although he sometimes pretended to resent your insistence, you knew that, deep down, he liked having you around.

To your surprise —and, admittedly, also to your relief— Min-gyu had finally managed to squeeze you into his infamous rising star schedule. Between photo shoots, catwalks, social events and endless workouts, that he devoted an entire evening to you seemed almost miraculous. As soon as he wrote to you to confirm the time, a surge of excitement coursed through your body. You feigned indifference, of course, like someone who has a thousand plans and can barely make room. But the truth is that you had been waiting for this moment for days —maybe weeks— waiting for this moment.

When you arrived at his apartment, you couldn't help but smile like a fool. That wide, sincere smile that escapes without asking permission, the same one that always appears when you are about to see someone important to you.

As soon as you opened the door, you saw him standing on the threshold of the dining room, with his apron on (yes, apron), and you didn't think twice.

—Min-gyu!— you shouted excitedly before throwing yourself into his arms.

Min-gyu laughed, catching you with that characteristic carefree gesture, the one that reminded you that, even if his life was surrounded by flashes and red carpets, with you he would always be the same brother as before.

—Can you not shout? My neighbors already think I'm hiding a zoo here— he joked, although there was an unmistakable warmth in his voice.

The place was spectacular. Spacious, with a modern and minimalist design, and large windows that offered a view of Seoul so impressive that it looked like something out of a luxury architecture catalog. Everything was impeccable: The table was perfectly set, a soft and cozy playlist playing in the background, and a warm and spicy aroma coming from the kitchen.

—You did this?— you asked, raising an eyebrow with theatrical skepticism as you plopped down in one of the chairs. —Weren't you the one who mistook the microwave for the toaster?

—Times change— he said with a triumphant air, as he placed the plate in front of you. —Besides, I wasn't going to let you come all this way just to eat ramen. You had to try my best dish.

—And that would be...?

—Min-gyu style chicken. Patented. Unrepeatable. Probably slightly burnt.

You both burst out laughing. Dinner passed between jokes, anecdotes and that kind of complicity that only siblings who miss each other but love each other madly can understand. There was something comforting about being with him, as if the world was put on pause just to give them that moment.

But just when everything seemed perfect, the door to the apartment opened with a dry, resounding click.

A tall man stepped across the threshold. Dark, slightly tousled hair, thick-rimmed glasses, baggy T-shirt, backpack over his shoulder. His expression was that of someone who didn't expect to find a family dinner in the middle of the living room. He glanced sideways at you, then at Min-gyu, then back at you with a look somewhere between curious and tired. Finally, he nodded briefly, as if that were enough to say hello, and without saying a word, he walked quietly into the hallway and disappeared into a room, closing the door behind him as naturally as others open the refrigerator.

The silence that followed was... Peculiar. You looked at everything with your eyes wide open, as if you had witnessed a scene out of a domestic thriller.

—Are you going to explain to me what just happened?— you asked at last, pointing your fork down the hallway.

Min-gyu let out a low, amused laugh, as if everything was completely normal.

—Oh, right... I forgot to mention it. That was Won-woo— he said, as if it was the most irrelevant thing in the world. —My roommate. I've known him for a long time. He's quiet. A little strange, yes... But nice.

—Since when do you have a roommate? And why does he look like a mysterious character from a dorama who keeps secrets in his closet?

Min-gyu burst out laughing for real this time, leaning his head back with a laugh that filled the room.

—I swear he's a good person. He just doesn't talk much. And he always comes in like this. And he always leaves like that. You'll get used to it.

You blinked, still processing the fact that, of all the things Min-gyu could have told you, “I share an apartment with a quiet, handsome guy who looks like he's straight out of a Korean thriller” wasn't on the list.

The evening continued with the warmth that only the company of someone close can offer, but your mind was still anchored on that brief instant: The moment Won-woo crossed the room like a ghost not expecting to be seen. It wasn't as if you were expecting a formal introduction, nor a deep conversation with emotional fireworks, but his hushed entrance, his fleeting gaze and that enigmatic presence that trailed like a second shadow... It left you more than intrigued. They left you wondering.

—And how long has he been living here? you asked, hiding your growing curiosity behind a sip of water, as if the question did not carry a camouflaged interest.

—A few months already— Min-gyu answered as he poured himself another portion of rice, as if it were the most everyday thing in the world, —It was something improvised, he's my manager's brother and he was having trouble paying for his apartment at the same time I was looking for one. The rent here is crazy. But we get along well... Although sometimes he seems more like a cat than a person.

You let out a short laugh. Yeah, that sounded pretty accurate. Won-woo had that same feline energy: Elusive, silent, with a gaze that seemed to pierce through you without needing to touch you. As if he understood more than he said, and said less than he thought. An observer of the world, but in no hurry to be part of it.

—And is he always this... Expressive? you asked with a half smile.

—That was his effusive greeting— joked your brother —Believe me, he treated you well.

The evening closed with laughter, ice cream out of the freezer —which Min-gyu served with the air of a five-star chef—, and promises of a repeat visit. When you left, the hallway was silent, Won-woo's door was still closed, and curiosity followed you to the elevator.

You didn't see him again.

At least, not that night.

A few days passed before you came back. This time, at Min-gyu's spontaneous invitation: Movie night, just like in the old days. Movies, blankets and junk food. Your favorite plan.

When you arrived, Min-gyu didn't reply to your messages. But you already knew the code to the intercom —a privilege that did not go unnoticed— so you went in alone, as if it were your second home.

—I'm home!— you crooned as you entered —I hope you haven't prepared another cycle of psychological horror movies, because I'm not going to spend the night watching traumatized people.

The apartment seemed deserted. Silent. One of those silences that are not exactly uncomfortable, but expectant. You left your bag on the couch and headed for the kitchen in search of something to snack on. It was then that a low, soft, clear voice interrupted the air like a leaf falling on still water:

—Min-gyu is not here. He said he was arriving at fifteen.

You turned sharply.

Won-woo was there, leaning against the doorframe of his room, a cup of coffee in his hand, barefoot, his hair slightly disheveled as if he had just awakened from an eternal nap. His expression was serene, neutral, as if there was nothing unusual about finding you invading the kitchen.

—Ah... Hello— you said, a little awkwardly, trying to regain your composure.

—Hello— he replied with a slight nod of his head. His tone was calm, unhurried, as if every word was carefully measured.

The silence that followed was not awkward, but dense. Filled with something that had no name yet. As if both were waiting for the other to speak first, even if neither had the urgency to do so.

—I'm Min-gyu's sister, by the way— you finally added, breaking the stillness with a polite smile —I'm not sure if we officially met.

—Won-woo— he replied with a small gesture, though you knew perfectly well who it was. His voice, so low and deep, had a curious effect: It didn't fill the room, but it did catch your full attention to. —I know.

Pause.

—I saw you the other day— he added, as if it were a thought he'd suddenly given permission to come out, —You had rice in your hair.

You blinked, puzzled.

—What?

—When you were laughing— he clarified, with that same imperturbable calm —A grain fell on your head. You didn't say anything. You left it there as if you didn't notice.

You let out a laugh, genuine, surprised by the absurd memory of the moment. Had he really noticed that? And why did he remember it?

And then it happened: You saw him smile.

It wasn't a big smile. It didn't even go as far as a full one. Just a subtle curve at one corner of his lips, so brief that you doubted if you really saw it. But it was there. Fleeting. Almost shy.

—Are you always this observant?— you asked, half jokingly.

—Only when there's rice flying— he answered nonchalantly.

Another silence, but this time it was different. Warm, almost comfortable. Like when two people are tuned to the same frequency and don't know it yet. He took a sip of his coffee, turned to go back to his room, and just before disappearing, he said with a disconcerting naturalness:

—You look different today. More... Funny.

And then he simply walked away.

It took you several seconds to process what had just happened. Had it been a compliment? An unfiltered observation? Or just the odd —and slightly poetic— way he had of looking at the world?

Whatever it was, you felt it: That little knot in your stomach that forms when something unexpected touches you in just the right place. It was nothing concrete yet. Nothing definite. But there it was. A silent promise that something had begun.

You went back to the apartment, again, this time without a very concrete plan. Min-gyu had sent you a quick message, with all the elegance that characterized him:

[Min-gyu - 12:23]

I'm free this afternoon if you want to stop by.

Bring something to eat.

I literally don't even have bread.

A subtle invitation wrapped in emotional blackmail. So there you were, carrying a bag of snacks and a cold drink, without much expectation... Although, deep down, you knew exactly why your step had brought you to that door again.

Min-gyu was in the shower when you arrived. You knew because his muffled voice echoed from down the hall with the assurance of someone shouting into the wind:

—Put whatever you want on TV! I'll be out in five!

You plopped down on the couch with the familiarity of someone who had already turned that place into a kind of extension of herself. Reaching for the remote control, you noticed something different: On the table, a shiny black joystick connected to a turned-off console. Next to it, a stack of video games —some with Korean titles, others in Japanese, one you recognized from having gone viral a couple of years ago for its tragic story.

Curious, you picked up the controller and twirled it between your fingers, as if that small object could give you clues about its owner.

—I didn't know they played video games— you commented on the air, without waiting for an answer.

—I play— answered a voice behind you. Calm. Solid.

You turned around immediately.

Won-woo was there, leaning against the wall frame, dressed in a dark sweatshirt with his hair a bit disheveled, as if he had just stepped out of a parallel universe. In one hand he held his ever-present mug-you suspected it came standard with him.

—Oh, yeah?— you asked, smiling curiously, —I thought you were more of a "I meditate with my eyes open for three hours" kind of guy.

—I do that too— he replied matter—of—factly, and walked over to the game shelf without haste. —But on weekends I'd rather save fake worlds than fix the real ones.

His voice had that gentle tone that didn't need to get louder to stay with you. And his commentary... Well, it had that dark, sarcastic and strangely deep undertone that you were beginning to find addictive.

—And what's your favorite?— you asked, sitting up better on the couch, elbows resting on your knees.

—It depends on the day— You went through the titles with your fingers. —RPGs, mostly. Long stories. Where your decisions matter.

—Decisions that matter? Interesting, coming from someone who seemed to take five minutes to decide whether to answer a greeting or not.

He raised an eyebrow, almost imperceptibly, and muttered:

—That's exactly why. Words cost less if you don't use them all the time. Decisions, too.

He disarmed you. Not with an irrefutable argument, but with that way of his of saying things like someone who drops stones into a calm lake and watches the ripples.

—Would you teach me how to play?— you asked after a moment, pointing to the console. —I never understood anything about these worlds. But I always found them fascinating.

Won-woo blinked once, as if your request had taken a while to reach his brain. Then he nodded slowly.

—It depends. Do you have patience?

—I have brothers— you said with a smile. —I'm trained to deal with everything.

For the first time, you saw him laugh a little more freely. It wasn't a laugh, but a broader gesture. Almost human. Almost complicit.

—Then let's start with this one— he said, offering you a box. —It's long, slow... And if you do something wrong, you basically bring on the apocalypse.

—Perfect. Just what I need to relax.

You sat in front of the TV, you with the controller in hand and he calmly guiding you. You were surprised by the patience with which he explained each mechanic. He wasn't condescending, not distant, just.... Meticulous. He chose his words like someone tuning an instrument.

At some point, his fingers brushed yours as he corrected how you held the joystick. It was a brief touch, almost accidental. But you felt it. You felt it in every millimeter of skin he touched, in the silence that followed, in the way he just.... Went on, as if nothing had happened. Or maybe as if something did happen, but you didn't know how to name it.

When Min-gyu appeared, already dressed and drying his hair with a towel, he found them immersed in the game.

—What are you guys so focused on? Did you found a secret clan or what?

—I'm teaching her not to destroy a civilization in less than ten minutes— muttered Won-woo, without taking his eyes off the screen.

—It was a tactical error— you defended yourself with a chuckle —Besides, no one warned me that the “X” button decided the fate of a kingdom.

Min-gyu rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen.

But something had changed.

An invisible door had opened between you and Won-woo. It wasn't trust, not yet. But it was a silent connection, the kind that isn't shouted, forced, or announced. It was felt. And for now, that was enough.

The game had been paused for a while. The console slept like a contented pet, the background music was barely a soft murmur floating through the warm air of the apartment, and the dim lights bathed the room in that golden glow that only comes unintentionally, as if the night itself had made itself comfortable.

Dinner had arrived without great ceremony: Two open boxes on the low table, each with a personality of its own. One was overflowing with cheese to the brim, the other looked like some kind of culinary experiment that, against all odds, worked. Delivery chaos has never been so comforting.

The three of them sat down without order or protocol. Min-gyu plopped down on the floor like a K-pop star in the middle of a world tour break, you took the couch wrapped in a blanket you clearly already considered yours, and Won-woo, with his classic economy of movement, settled into one of the chairs with his legs crossed and his face half hidden behind a steaming mug.

As always, Min-gyu dominated the conversation with his inexhaustible energy. He told stories with that mix of sarcasm and drama that only someone with his social life could afford.

—Then the guy grabs the camera, puts it in front of his face and says, “How do you turn this toaster on?”— he recounted, between chuckles. —I don't know whether to cry about the state of the industry or nominate him for an unintentional comedy award.

—You're sure that wasn't part of the script?— you said, biting back a laugh.

—I wish. The worst thing is that that take did come out well. Ironies of the trade.

Then, as if suddenly remembering, Min-gyu raised a slice of pizza like a white flag and blurted out:

—Ah, and I'm going to China. Two weeks.

—What? So soon?— you asked, glancing sideways at Won-woo, who at that moment was stirring the edges of the cheese as if it were a chemistry experiment.

—Monday. Photo shoots, events, fake smiles. You know. What one does to survive in style. But I need you to keep coming over here— he said, pointing at you with the half-eaten portion. —This isn't just a casual invitation. It's a veiled plea.

—Why? Have I been assigned responsibilities without my consent?

—Let’s say, yes. I want you to hold down the fort, mostly because Won-woo…— he paused dramatically— Isn't exactly the pillar of domesticity.

Won-woo, without looking up from his pizza, mumbled in his unflappable tone:

—Said the man who washed clothes with dish soap.

—It was an international emergency!— Min-gyu defended himself. —Besides, the clothes were left with a citrus scent.

—And the texture of cardboard…

You covered your mouth so as not to spit with laughter, while the exchange continued with the fluidity of a sitcom you already knew well. But between bites and jokes, you kept watching Won-woo.

There was something fascinating about his silent presence. His glasses fogged up at times from the steam of the pizza, black hair fell untidily over his forehead, and his relaxed posture seemed as natural as it was learned. As if he had been in that corner for years, not asking permission to be there, but not needing anyone to invite him either.

And you watched him. Not blatantly, of course. Only at times. Like someone who leafs through a book without deciding yet if he wants to read it from beginning to end.

Min-gyu, in one of his multiple abilities to notice what is not said, interrupted you with a suspicious throat clearing.

—What? you asked, disguising the curve of your smile.

—Nothing. I just think this trip could be very, very productive.

—Productive in what way?

—In the sense that you'll be in charge of the emotional balance of this department while I'm away. And yes, that includes you keeping Won-woo from trying to live on ramen, tea and cynicism alone.

—You exaggerate.

—Your record speaks for you.

The conversation dissolved into more giggles and nibbles, until at one point, perhaps looking for a change of pace, you threw out a question that had been rolling around in your head for some time.

—Hey, Won-woo... What exactly do you do for a living?

He looked up with a leisurely gesture, almost as if that simple question brought him out of another world.

—I sell video games. Collectibles, rare editions. Some things from Japan and others restored. And I... I write, too.

—As a hobby?

—More like a refuge— he replied, without embellishment.

The way he said it was not melancholy, nor dramatic. It was direct. Almost overly honest.

—What kind of writing do you do?

—Situations, small details. Unexpressed emotions. That's where it's all at, I think.

That kind of answer was the exact kind of sentence someone else might have ruined for pretentiousness. But in his mouth it sounded different. It had weight, but not burden. And you didn't know if it was because of what he said, or how he said it, but there was something that stuck with you inside.

—And that pays the rent for this nice place?

—That, online sales, and avoiding going out too much. I don't have many vices.

—Just tea and games?

He nodded. And for the first time, he smiled with his lips, not just his eyes. It was slight, but evident.

The night faded naturally. When you got up to leave, Min-gyu was already half sprawled on the couch, using a napkin as a makeshift mask and the empty pizza box as an abdominal shield.

Won-woo escorted you to the door without a word. The sound of your footsteps on the wood floated over a comfortable silence.

—Thank you for... The pizza— he murmured.

—Thank you for letting me ruin only half a virtual village.

He laughed very softly, and for a second, just one, the two of them stood still. Not too close, not too far. Just... There.

—See you soon, then— you said.

—If I don't forget to pay for the internet, yes— he replied.

The door closed softly behind you, and as you walked down the stairs this time —without using the elevator, as if you wanted to prolong the moment— you realized that something had changed. Nothing definite. Nothing explicit.

But as in writing, what matters is not what is explicit, but what is suggested.

You had left Min-gyu at the airport barely an hour ago, and it already seemed to you that something was missing. Not so much because of the silence, but because of the way the air seemed to have lost its natural rhythm. Your brother had that effect: He made noise even without speaking. There was always music in the background, ridiculous anecdotes, impromptu plans or complaints about such trivial things as the weather or cold coffee.

Now, as you walked with a bag of groceries dangling from one arm and your cell phone vibrating in the other —messages you purposely ignored—you felt a strange anxiety. Attributable, of course, to the thought of having to visit the apartment without Min-gyu.... And with Won-woo there. Alone.

—I just have to check that he's still alive— you muttered to yourself, in a tone more humorous than realistic, though the image of him completely abstracted from the world amidst wires, screens and cups of tea didn't seem so far off.

That was it. Just checking that he hadn't merged with the couch or that he wasn't growing mushrooms in the fridge. Quick. Painless. No unnecessary emotions. No butterflies.

But of course, butterflies never ask for permission.

The click of the door was barely audible, drowned out by the soft hum of the television on. You entered without making too much noise, expecting perhaps to find the room empty, leave the food on the table and disappear. But no.

There he was. Sitting in the center of the couch, with the relaxed posture of someone who had lost track of time. He was wearing a black sweater with white letters almost erased, and his hair, messy as always, fell in unruly locks over his glasses. He was absorbed. He didn't move, except for his thumbs, which danced with surgical precision over the control.

There was something about that image that stopped you. Not just because he looked... Incredibly good —though it did, without pretension or effort—but because it seemed to be on its own planet. A silent, pixelated, and curiously attractive planet. There was something intimate about the scene, as if you'd caught him in a private moment, and yet he didn't seem uncomfortable.

Until he spoke.

—Did you bring food?

He didn't even take his eyes off the screen. But his voice, soft, with that low, neutral tone that sounded like something out of a lo-fi song, jolted you as if you'd been caught prying into his thoughts. Or yours.

—Yes— you said, holding up the bag as if it were a peace trophy. Your tone sounded more shrill than you expected, so you lowered your voice a little as you approached. —I thought you had no supplies beyond tea and apocalypse.

A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He didn't look at you yet, but you could tell he had listened.

—It's a balanced diet.

—Of course— you replied, pulling out the food containers. —Balanced between nutritional collapse and dehydration.

This time he let out something very much like a laugh. Brief, as if he wasn't used to it, but real.

As you placed the containers on the table, you moved a little closer, without thinking too much. There was something in the atmosphere that made you want to stay. Maybe it was the soft music of the game, the artificial warmth of the apartment? Or just curiosity.

—What are you playing?

Pause. Now he turned down the volume of the TV and turned his head towards you. His eyes were dark and expressive, even behind the glasses. They didn't look at you with distrust, but with that kind of attention that comes when someone really thinks before they speak.

—Sinsong— he finally said. —It's Korean. A strategic RPG with moral decisions. Everything you do changes the course of the game.

—And have you destroyed any villages yet?

—Not yet. But there was a scene... Intense.

His answers were short, yes, but not evasive. There was something honest in the way he spoke, as if he didn't seek to impress, but he still couldn't help but be interesting. That kind of mystery that doesn't try too hard to be.

—Can I try it?— you asked, crossing your arms over the back of the couch.

He looked at you as if trying to figure out if you were serious. Then, very slowly, he nodded.

—If you don't mind losing in the first five minutes?

—I have pride, not fear.

He made room for you on the couch and handed you the controller without touching you, but so close that you could catch the soft scent of tea and freshly washed clothes. He stayed by your side, explaining game mechanics with a patience that contrasted with his seemingly introverted nature. He spoke in a low voice, weighing each word carefully. But there was something in his tone, in the way he glanced at you sideways every time you fumbled with the controller, that hinted at another layer.

Won-woo was reserved, yes. But not closed off. He seemed to live inwardly, observing everything, storing away details no one else noticed. Like when he scratched the back of his neck while thinking about how to explain a game system to you. Or when he pushed his glasses up with one finger without even realizing it.

And you... You noticed everything.

After nearly an hour, you managed to save one village and accidentally destroy another. He didn’t laugh, but his smile was clear enough to tell you he was enjoying it.

When you got up to leave, the atmosphere had softened, as if something had settled between you. Not necessarily immediate trust, but a quiet truce. A mutual recognition.

—Thanks for the food— he said, this time looking at you directly.

—Thank you for not judging my military skills— you replied, opening the door.

—I haven’t finished the analysis yet— he murmured.

You said it jokingly. But his voice… Carried something else. A spark. And for the first time since you arrived, you felt like maybe… It wasn’t just curiosity that kept pulling you back.

It was him. And now, more than ever, you wanted to find out what else was hiding behind those foggy glasses and carefully measured silences.

You were about to turn the doorknob when something —maybe your conscience, or maybe just that impulsive part of you that never shuts up— stopped you. The hallway was quiet, with that mid-week stillness buildings tend to have when everyone else has things to do except you.

You didn’t want to seem eager, or nosy, or anything like that… But something inside you refused to leave without trying. So you took a deep breath, like you had to convince yourself first, and spoke without turning around.

—Hey… Before I go— you began casually, like you didn’t really care about the answer. —You should give me your number. Just in case, you know... Fires, ninja attacks, the fridge becomes sentient and declares war. Emergencies, normal stuff.

The silence that followed was longer than you expected. Not awkward, but… Dense. Like inside the apartment, someone was reorganizing their entire internal operating system to process what you had just said.

You turned, and there he was, exactly as you’d left him: On the couch, the video game controller in his lap, body half-sunken into the cushions like he’d been there for hours. But now he was looking at you. And that already meant something had changed.

—My number?— he repeated, like the phrase was new to him, strange, or too intimate to process so quickly.

—Yes— you said, keeping a calm smile, even though you were chewing yourself up inside. —Not to stalk you or anything. Just... It’d be useful. In case I find out you left something on. Or if the ceiling collapses on you and I need to call emergency services. Nothing weird.

Won-woo shifted slowly, like his body couldn’t decide whether to stay where it was or bolt out the window. He took off his glasses and started cleaning them with the sleeve of his sweater. Not because they needed it, but clearly because it was his way of thinking without saying much.

—I don’t usually… Give out my number— he murmured, not looking directly at you. His voice was calm, but there was a hidden tension at the edges, that soft discomfort of someone not used to being reached.

—I don’t usually ask for the number of guys who barely talk— you replied, raising an eyebrow. —We’re both out of our comfort zones, aren’t we?

That pulled a half-smile from him. Brief, shy, but genuine. Like he was thanking you for not pushing, for understanding him even when he didn’t say things outright.

—All right…— he said finally, and looked down at his phone. —You give me yours too. For... Balance.

His tone almost sounded like a joke, but without the confidence of someone who tosses jokes around easily. It was more like an attempt to bring lightness to something that clearly felt very personal to him.

—I was just about to suggest it. We wouldn’t want to throw off the universal balance, after all.

You handed him your unlocked phone, and he took it with the care of someone holding a sleeping animal. He typed slowly, with long, meticulous fingers, making sure not to mess it up. Then he gave it back, barely looking at you, like he didn’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than this moment already was.

—Done— he said. —But... if you call me, I probably won’t answer.

—And if I text you?

—I’ll... Read it a few times. Maybe think of a reply in my head and not send it. Or write it and delete it. But... Yeah. I’ll reply. Sooner or later.

You couldn’t help but smile. There was something so transparent about him, so unfiltered, it was endearing. No effort to seem more interesting, more fun, more anything. He was just him. A quiet guy, distractingly attractive, with measured replies and long silences that somehow didn’t make you want to run away.

—Perfect. I’ll keep that in mind. Though I hope if the fridge explodes, your reply won’t just be an ellipsis.

Won-woo blinked a couple of times. Then, in his driest, most serious tone:

—I don’t use emojis.

And that was it —the final straw—. You laughed. It was quick, spontaneous. You covered your mouth with your hand, not out of embarrassment, but because it surprised you how easy it was to be there. With him.

You walked to the door, this time slower. You felt like you’d crossed some invisible line between the practical and the personal. You weren’t just “Min-gyu’s sister who’s watching the apartment”. At least not in the way he was starting to look at you.

—See you soon, Won-woo— you said as you opened the door.

He nodded. It seemed like he was going to leave it at that. But just as you took your first step out, his voice, almost a whisper, reached you from behind.

—Thanks for... stopping by.

It was simple. Unadorned. But coming from him, it sounded almost intimate. Like his own particular way of saying “I liked having you here” without having to face the embarrassment of saying it out loud.

You turned around one last time.

—It was… Nice— you said sincerely. Then, after a pause, —And I’m not going to pretend I didn’t enjoy beating you at the end.

Won-woo smiled to the side, like someone keeping a rematch hidden up their sleeve.

—That victory was... Generous on my part.

—Uh-huh. Sure it was— You winked at him. —Till next time, strategic-defeat champion.

The door closed softly behind you, but the echo of the conversation —his voice, his awkward interest— followed you all the way to the elevator. As it descended, with no one else around, you couldn’t help but look at your reflection in the steel doors and smile.

You didn’t know exactly what was starting to happen between you and Won-woo, but it was... Different. And somewhere deep inside, that subtle flutter told you you didn’t want it to end any time soon.

The elevator dropped you off on the ground floor, but your mind was still floating somewhere much higher. Between Won-woo’s final comment, that rare but real smile, and the way he said “thanks for stopping by”, something had lodged itself inside you. Something small. Uncomfortable in the best way. Like a pebble in your shoe, but in your chest.

You walked home more slowly than necessary, the empty bag swinging from your wrist and the ridiculous feeling that you’d left something behind. Not a scarf. Not your dignity. Something more subtle. Maybe part of your focus. Your energy. You.

When you got back to your apartment, you kicked off your shoes, dropped your keys on the table with a metallic clink that broke the silence, and flopped onto the couch with that kind of drama that only comes when part of you is waiting... For something. Anything.

You closed your eyes. Opened them again. Stared at the ceiling. Then turned your head toward your purse, knowing full well your phone was in there, waiting like a silent accomplice. And that’s when the inner battle began.

“There’s no point in texting him. You already said everything that needed to be said. It was just one shared afternoon. A video game. A pizza.”

But the other voice —bolder, more you when no one’s looking— piped up without shame.

“What if you just want to text him? Because not everything has to be necessary. Because maybe you just feel like it. And that’s enough.”

You sighed softly, grabbed your phone like someone surrendering to the inevitable, and opened the chat. The empty screen was intimidating. A blank, silent space that seemed to say “nothing’s happened here”. But you knew better. Something had.

You typed something. Deleted it. Tried an emoji, hated it, deleted that too. Until you gave in to what you actually felt: Simple. Light. Expectation-free.

[You – 10:17 PM]

Made it back fine. No alien invasions on the way. So far.

The moment you hit "send", you dropped the phone like it burned, like you hadn’t just spent the last five minutes debating whether to text him at all. You got up to make some tea, even though the water never even boiled. You came back to the couch. Looked at the screen. Still blank. Of course.

“He probably read the message, panicked, and is now thinking it over in some dark corner while his imaginary cat judges him.”

Eleven minutes later, just as you were about to give up and open a dumb video to distract yourself, your phone buzzed.

[Won-woo – 10:28 PM]

Good. Glad the fridge didn’t win this time.

You smiled. Not a loud one. Just that soft, silly smile that slips out when no one’s watching. The kind that says more than you’d ever admit out loud. Because he’d replied. Not just that—he got the joke. He matched your tone.

You read it again. As if there were a second, hidden layer beneath his words. Then you replied without overthinking:

[You – 10:29 PM]

It was a tough battle. I escaped with minor injuries (burned a finger on the microwave). But I survived.

A few seconds passed. You saw him “online”. Then “typing.” Then nothing. Then “online” again.

“Weird”, you thought, amused.

[Won-woo – 10:33 PM]

The microwave has always been the most treacherous one.

You laughed quietly, with that warm feeling that seeps into your skin without asking. You typed again.

[You – 10:34 PM]

I know. It has a suspicious look.

Thanks for today, by the way.

That “thanks” came out heavier than you meant. Because it had been more than just another afternoon. And you knew it.

A few minutes passed, then his reply came:

[Won-woo – 10:36 PM]

I didn’t do much.

But… It was nice.

The word "nice" felt small, almost shy. But coming from him, it sounded like a confession. Like low—volume vulnerability. Like “I liked having you here”, without actually saying it.

You rested the phone on your chest, as if its warmth might linger a little longer. The silence in your apartment didn’t feel so heavy anymore. It had a different texture now, like someone else had left their shadow behind.

You weren’t in love. Not yet. But something had shifted. Or started.

And for the first time in a long while, you wished the night would last a bit longer. Not necessarily to keep talking. Just to stay in that feeling. That invisible thread you’d somehow started to share with someone who spoke little but said so much between the lines.

The next time you went to the apartment, you weren’t just carrying food or some improvised excuse. You brought cookies. Homemade. Or, well, as close as you could get to something edible and baked, given your limited baking skills. The first attempt had been a tragic disaster, but the second... The second had shape, color, and even a promising smell.

You walked in without knocking, as usual, but this time he wasn’t in front of the TV, nor holding the joystick or lost in some video game. Won-woo was by the window, slightly hunched over an open notebook, as if the outside world didn’t exist beyond the words he was writing.

You stopped cold, not wanting to interrupt right away. The scene felt intimate, fragile. His glasses were slipping down the bridge of his nose, and his messy hair shifted with every faint breeze sneaking through the window crack. He was so focused he seemed to float in a slower, entirely his own frequency.

You knocked gently on the doorframe with your knuckles.

He looked up, startled, like he’d just landed from somewhere far away.

—Were you writing?— you asked with a sideways smile, lifting the makeshift box of cookies like some kind of offering.

Won-woo closed the notebook quickly, almost guiltily, like you’d caught him doing something too personal. His reaction surprised you, though not entirely. There was always a part of him somewhere between wanting to share and the instinct to hide.

—Something like that— he said, not quite meeting your eyes. —Nothing important.

—And how do you decide that?— You stepped closer, setting the box on the table. —Do you always write by the window, or is that part of your mysterious writer aesthetic?

That earned a small, almost imperceptible smile—but enough.

—The light is good— he replied. —And almost no one interrupts me.

—Until today— you added, shameless. —But I come in peace. And with cookies. I think that gives me the right to stay.

He reached out to grab one awkwardly, like he wasn’t entirely sure how to eat something made by someone else. He examined it like he was analyzing its molecular structure, then took a bite.

The verdict: A neutral expression, followed by another bite and a slow nod.

—They’re good.

And for some reason, that simple "good", spoken in his quiet, honest voice, warmed your chest in a ridiculously disproportionate way.

—What were you writing?— you asked, nodding toward the now-closed notebook.

He hesitated. You saw him swallow, look down at his hands.

—Ideas. Scenes. Things I imagine when I’m not… Avoiding people— he said, with a hint of self-deprecating humor. —Sometimes I write stories. Other times, just scattered lines. Thoughts.

—And you keep them all in there? Like a journal?

—Not exactly. It’s more like… A conversation I don’t know how to have out loud.

That made you pause. The sentence carried unexpected weight. You looked at the notebook, now a loaded object.

—Have you ever thought about showing what you write?— you asked—not pushing, just curious.

Won-woo shrugged, lowering his gaze to his hands.

—I’ve thought about it. But I’m not sure what I write is any good. And sometimes, when I read it again, I feel like... I’m exposing too much. Like someone could read it and see all of me.

—That doesn’t sound so bad.

—For someone like me, it is.

You stayed quiet for a moment. Then decided to offer something back.

—I draw. Or at least I try to. I have a notebook full of mural ideas, abstract stuff, weird colors. Some phrases that keep following me around. I’ve always wanted to do something with it, but…— you shrugged —Sometimes we sabotage ourselves too, don’t we?

—Yes— he said, his voice barely a whisper. —You become your own obstacle.

There was a pause. One of those that doesn’t feel awkward—one that lets the words breathe.

—Do you have your drawings here?— he asked, with a softness you didn’t expect.

You shook your head, smiling.

—No. But if you ever invite me for tea, I might bring them.

He didn’t say anything—just nodded. But that gesture, that small tilt of his head, carried the gentleness of a true yes. As if he’d just opened a door that was entirely his… Just for you.

That night, you didn’t rush to leave. You left slowly, feeling that something had shifted. Not in a grand or obvious way. But just enough.

And when you got home—after slipping off your shoes and dropping your keys in their usual spot—you saw it. A short message glowing on your phone screen.

[Won-woo – 10:04 PM]

Thanks for the cookies.

And for staying.

The words came easier today.

You lay back on the couch with a soft smile, almost without realizing. The phone resting on your chest like a musical note still vibrating.

You didn’t know if he would ever show you what he wrote, or if you’d actually let him see your drawings. But something was definitely growing between the two of you. Not a movie—kind—of—story. Something slower. Something real.

Like a story written by hand.

Like a line sketched without erasing the one before it.

You returned to the apartment one afternoon when the sky seemed to have forgotten how to be blue. It wasn’t raining, but the air smelled like it might—like a promise of water, a soft melancholy that clung to your skin like a light blanket. It wasn’t a special day. Not his birthday, not a marked date. But you were carrying your notebook. That made it different.

You had told yourself you wouldn’t show it. That you’d bring it along "just in case", like someone taking an umbrella when the forecast says “maybe”. And yet, as soon as you stepped inside, you knew it wasn’t just a remote possibility. It was a decision you’d been chewing on for days.

Won-woo greeted you with his usual gesture: A slight nod, no words. But this time, his eyes lingered on yours a second longer, as if he noticed something different. Maybe he did. You felt it too.

He was in his favorite spot, by the window, a cup of tea in his hands and a half-open notebook in front of him. The pen rested on top, forgotten.

—Did I interrupt your creative session?— you asked, slinging your backpack over the back of a chair.

—Not enough to be mad about it— he replied without moving, with that dry tone laced with subtle humor that you were starting to understand better than anyone.

You sat on the couch, dropping your bag to the side. Outwardly calm. Inside, a whirlwind. You hesitated for a few minutes. Chatted about random things: The weather, the playlist he had on, how useless electric ovens were for baking decent cookies. He listened, quiet but focused, with that expression of his that made it seem like he wasn’t giving opinions—but was storing every detail in some private corner of his mind.

Finally, before you could change your mind again, you opened the backpack and pulled out your notebook.

You placed it on the table with a mix of shyness and determination, without looking at him directly. As if just putting it there was an act of bravery on its own.

Won-woo tilted his head, curious.

—Is that…?— He didn’t finish the question, but you filled in the silence.

—My sketchbook. Where I draw. Sometimes I write too. It’s not organized or anything.

He looked at it like you’d just offered him a map to an unknown place. And then, with the kind of respect someone might have for a borrowed relic, he asked:

—Can I see it?

You nodded. You weren’t sure if your hands were shaking on the outside, but inside… Every heartbeat felt like an unspoken truth.

Won-woo took it with both hands. His fingers were long, steady, almost ceremonial as he turned the first page. And then, simply, he began to read. Or look. Or feel—because he didn’t comment, didn’t interrupt, didn’t ask for explanations. He just moved through the pages with a reverence that made it feel like every sketch, every word, deserved its time.

Half-human figures, dreamed murals, fragments of poetry, splashes of color where some emotion had spilled uncontrollably. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t flatter you. But his complete attention was enough to make you feel that—for the first time—someone was seeing what you’d made without trying to fix it, just trying to understand it.

He stopped near the end, at a page you’d scribbled on at 3 a.m., the ink smudged:

“I’m scared to be seen. But I’m more scared of never showing myself at all.”

His eyes lingered on the words. And instead of saying something clever, he simply said:

—I feel that too.

It caught you off guard. He didn’t speak like that—not easily.

—You feel… What?

—I’m scared too. Of sharing what I write. Of someone reading it and really seeing me. But also… Of never letting that happen at all.

You didn’t say anything for a moment. You just sat there, sharing that—raw vulnerability. A mirror confession.

He was the one who stood up first. Walked over to the shelf, rummaged through worn—out notebooks, and pulled out one that looked like it held history. He handed it to you—not ceremoniously, but with a certain care. He opened it to a specific page, like he had chosen it in advance.

—It’s not a full story— he said. —Just a scene. But… I don’t know. Maybe you’ll like it.

You read in silence. It was a fragment of something bigger. A conversation between two characters on a train. He wrote with restraint, no unnecessary flourishes, but every line carried weight. It was honest. Deep without trying to be. As if he wrote from somewhere very far inside—but still with his feet on the ground.

—This character…?— you began.

—Isn’t me— he said right away. But then he added, lowering his gaze. —Not completely.

—You could write a whole story from this— you told him. —It’s beautiful.

He looked at you then—and for the first time, didn’t look away so quickly. There was something different there. A certain trust. Or maybe a need to trust.

—What if you drew the scenes?— he said. —Like little snapshots. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just something… Ours.

That last word hung between you. Not as a promise. But as a spark.

—We could try— you said. And you sounded more confident than you felt. But also… Freer.

You didn’t hug. You didn’t hold hands. But as you were leaving, he didn’t hand back the notebook.

—Can I keep it for a few days?— he asked.

—Sure— you replied. —But don’t correct anything.

—Never.

And when you closed the door behind you, you knew that something between you had opened. Not suddenly. Not loudly. But with the exact rhythm of a story just beginning—one no one else needs to understand for it to be real.

The message came mid-morning, while you were still in pajamas, your hair tied up any which way, the breakfast mug forgotten on the edge of the sink. Just another notification—no sound, no urgency—but the name on the screen was enough to make your pulse quicken, just a little.

Won-woo sent you an image.

You opened it without thinking. It was a photo. Nothing more. Nothing less.

An urban landscape, captured in a moment suspended between fog and noise. Sidewalks still wet from an earlier drizzle, reflections of unlit streetlamps on the asphalt, an old building in the background with glowing windows—as if someone were reading behind each one. No people. Just a near-cinematic stillness, like the world was breathing in a whisper.

You smiled, instinctively, automatically.

[You – 10:03]

It’s a beautiful photo.

Feels like a scene from your story.

You were about to set the phone aside when his reply arrived, as precise as a second thought:

[Won-woo – 10:09]

I’m glad you like it.

Are you free this afternoon?

I thought… We could go to a café. Talk a bit about last night.

You read the message several times. No exclamation points, no emojis—but knowing him, it felt like a leap. A simple invitation, but one that said a lot coming from him. And you knew it. It wasn’t just coffee. It was a bridge.

As you picked up the empty cup and forced yourself to pull together some kind of composure, your mind drifted to him. How he wrote. How he noticed beauty in the things others ignored. That quiet way he had of telling the truth without raising his voice. He had a kind of sensitivity that didn’t need to announce itself, and maybe that’s why it ran deeper.

“Elegant without meaning to be”, you thought. As if his talent weighed on him, as if he was shy about having something so personal others could touch.

You got ready without rushing, but with more care than you were willing to admit. You slipped a notebook into your bag—the good one, the one you used when inspiration truly hit—along with a few pencils, just in case.

The café he’d suggested was only a few blocks from the apartment he shared with Min-gyu. It wasn’t a well-known place. The sign was barely visible, the tables were pale wood, and the hanging lamps cast warm yellow light. The air smelled like freshly ground coffee and old books.

“Perfect”, you thought. It seemed like the kind of place someone like him would choose.

You arrived a few minutes early—because you wanted to. Because you wanted to be there before the moment began.

You waited outside, hands in your pockets, eyes scanning the street. And when you saw him coming, the world seemed to pause for a beat. He walked with that unhurried pace of his, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, a gray scarf tied clumsily around his neck. His hair was carefully combed, though a rebellious strand still fell across his forehead. He wasn’t dressed to impress, but there was something about the way he carried himself that felt… Different. Present. Like he’d taken care, too.

He saw you and raised a hand in a brief wave. No words. But that small smile… Tt undid you.

—Hey— you said, glancing down a little, still smiling.

—Hey— he echoed, his voice calm, almost a murmur.

You went into the café and chose a table by a fogged-up window. He ordered an americano, no sugar. You got a cinnamon latte. The waitress jotted it down with a distracted smile and walked off. You were alone. The hum of the café made the perfect backdrop for what was to come.

—Did you bring your notebook?— he asked, motioning subtly toward your bag.

—I did— you said, pulling it out as if presenting something with reverence. —Also some pencils. In case inspiration decides to slip away.

—Or in case I start saying a very profound thing— he joked—his usual way: Barely noticeable, but charming.

You laughed, and that sound seemed to loosen something between you. The coffee arrived, bringing a comfortable pause. He held his cup with both hands, like it gave him courage. Took a sip, then looked at you—direct, but not invasive.

—I’ve been thinking… About what you said. About sharing what we make. About not always hiding it.

You nodded, but said nothing. You wanted to listen more than speak.

—I don’t know if I’m ready for a lot of people to read it— he went on. —But I’d like to keep sharing it with you. Not because I feel like I have to. But because… I want to.

Your heart made a strange noise. A flutter. A crack letting in the light.

—Thank you— you said. —I feel the same. I don’t know why, but ever since I started reading your words, I’m less afraid to draw the things that really matter to me.

He looked down for a second, a small crooked smile on his lips. Then he looked up, and for a moment, he wasn’t the shy Won-woo—you saw him more clearly. More fully.

—Can we create something together?— he asked. —A project, small, big, doesn’t matter. I want to see what happens when your drawings and my words meet in the same place.

—What if it doesn’t work?

—Then we’ll have shared something. That alone makes it worth it.

You picked up a pencil without thinking. Started sketching soft lines on the paper, no explanation. He didn’t interrupt. Just watched you, fingers still wrapped around his mug.

—What are you doing?— he asked eventually, curiosity blooming in his voice.

—Drawing you. But this time, without the mystery. Just a guy in a café, with the most honest eyes I’ve ever seen.

He blushed, clearly. And you pretended to focus on the paper so you wouldn’t laugh too loudly.

You spent the afternoon talking about stories. About characters you both wanted to write. About scenes you imagined. He told you he once wanted to be a screenwriter but gave it up because it felt too pretentious. You told him you once dreamed of painting murals all over Seoul, though you still weren’t sure if you had the courage.

The conversation bloomed like a flower you didn’t know you had planted.

And when it was time to go, he offered to walk you to the corner. Outside, the afternoon had already turned to night. The city lights felt like a soft echo.

—I want to keep seeing you— he said, like handing over something he’d been holding too long.

—Me too— you said, meeting his gaze with a sincerity that even surprised you.

The words came so fast, it startled you. Like all the air you’d been holding in your chest had finally been released in that sentence. And deep down, you knew it wasn’t just a response. It was the first time something inside you also wanted to be spoken.

Won-woo blinked, as if you’d thrown a stone into water and he was watching the ripples reach his side. He was silent for a moment, processing. Then, without panic, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, like searching for the right word in the maze of his thoughts.

—I’m glad— he finally said, in a soft, almost hesitant voice. —Because that way we can keep the story going.

The words fell like a single drop into a pond, sending out waves inside you. His reply came so quickly, so mechanically, that for a second you wondered if he really understood what you’d just said. Or if maybe, he’d gotten lost in his own world of untold stories and unsaid things.

And there it was —an unnecessary clarification, a near-clinical detachment that slightly ruined the warmth of the moment. As if everything that had just happened was now reduced to a continuation, an extension of something already in motion.

Your smile froze. It wasn’t sadness. Not contempt. Just... Confusion.

You weren’t expecting a grand declaration. You weren’t expecting anything specific. But part of you had lifted with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same. That his gaze held more colors. That his words carried more weight.

And now, hearing those simple words, you understood what made Won-woo who he was. Someone who maybe needed to frame everything —every gesture, every word. Someone who didn’t quite know how to let life happen without a script. Without something to hold onto.

—Right… The story— you said, lowering your gaze, feeling the weight of those words settling over you like dust. But you said it calmly, as if the world kept turning despite the tiny crack that had just opened between you two.

He nodded without thinking. Then looked away, as if the small curtain of silence that had just fallen between you didn’t affect him. As if he hadn’t noticed the faint shadow that passed over your face.

The disappointment —soft, almost invisible— cut deeper than you expected. But you understood. He doesn’t know how to do this. He doesn’t know how to play in the shadows of the unsaid, in the small spaces where language fails. And still, in his own clumsy but honest way, he was trying.

You walked in silence, unhurried. The city carried on around you —cars gliding by, distant conversations humming, the sky heavy with a promise of rain. Each step seemed to move you further from what had just happened in the café. But something inside you —a small spark— remained alive. You weren’t ready to let it die.

—Don’t worry— you said, breaking the thick silence that had formed between you. —I love the story.

And it was true. You did. Even if the way he had said it left a bitter taste, there was still something in those story fragments that felt like yours. Like you were part of something bigger than just a simple encounter.

He glanced at you, a flicker of discomfort crossing his face. He didn’t say anything, but something in his body eased. Maybe, just maybe, he understood that not everything about you could be handled like a neat, linear narrative.

When you reached the corner, you both stopped. Just stood there, watching the street, the traffic, the ebb and flow of strangers as if looking for something in the city’s movement.

—Will I see you again soon?— you asked, no hesitation, letting the question linger like an unspoken wish.

Won-woo’s answer came with the same precision as before. His words, so measured and controlled, felt heavier than the silence that preceded them.

—Yes. I’ll write to you tomorrow. I promise I won’t leave it paused for too long.

Something in that response —so small and tangible— began to melt away the disappointment, though not entirely. It’s not what I hoped for, you thought. But maybe it��s all he can offer.

You watched him cross the street, unhurried, as if everything were perfectly normal. His scarf caught the wind, and for a moment, it felt like time stretched —that the image of him walking away etched itself in your eyes, like a scene from a movie whose ending you’d never get to see.

And as you watched him disappear, something hit you with sharp clarity:

“Not all feelings have to be big. Not all moments need to be monumental to matter. Sometimes, all you need is the quiet unfolding of a story —soft, subtle, whispered”.

“He’s trying”, you told yourself, feeling a quiet peace spread through your chest as the evening deepened and the city moved on.

That night, back home, the notebook you’d left on the table seemed to be watching you from across the room. And when you opened it, hands still slightly trembling, a thought came to you:

“Maybe I just need to let this story flow on its own—no rush, no expectations.”

And for the first time, that thought didn’t scare you.

The notification came just after noon, sunlight slanting across the table as you stirred a spoon in an already cold cup.

[Min-gyu – 12:04]

I’m back, little sis.

Are you coming over tonight? I’ve got stories to tell.

Brought stuff.

Oh—and Won-woo’s picking me up from the airport.

You read it once. Then again. And on the second read, your heart did that silly little leap you’d come to know so well.

Won-woo.

That name again, ringing like a held note, slipping into the spaces of your day. As if he’d become part of your routine without you realizing it.

He went to pick him up. You didn’t know why that mattered so much. But it did.

That afternoon, you packed a small bag —not because you needed to, but to have something to hold onto. You tucked in some lemon cookies, Min-gyu’s childhood favorite, and your notebook— the one you carried everywhere like a quiet secret. You picked an outfit—simple, but chosen with care. Nothing loud, but suggestive.

When you got to the building, the first thing you noticed was the apartment door—slightly ajar. A small gesture, but intimate. As if they were waiting for you.

You pushed gently. Stepped in.

And you saw him.

Won-woo was in the kitchen. Standing like a figure from another frame. No sweater or loose jeans today. He wore a blue linen shirt, the collar open, sleeves rolled to the elbows. Dark pants, crisply pressed. His hair styled with quiet intent. But that rebellious strand —always him— still fell over his forehead, undoing the seriousness.

He looked… Like a different version of himself. One you didn’t see every day.

And in that instant, a sharp mix of emotion and doubt swept through your chest. You didn’t know if it made you happy to see him like that. Or if it hurt.

Because you didn’t know if that version was for you.

Or for something that was about to happen—and that you still didn’t understand.

You raised your hand and smiled, trying to make sure the gesture didn’t give anything away.

—Hello— you said.

—Hello— he replied, with a half-smile that didn’t quite form.

Min-gyu looked up from his open backpack. —Little sister!— And then yes, you ran towards him as if time had rewound. You hugged tightly, with those laughs that didn’t need an explanation. The hug smelled like the airport, like new fabrics, like distance overcome. You closed your eyes for a second and let yourself be in that familiar place: the arms of the one who reminds you who you are.

—Look what I brought you— he said, rummaging. —I couldn’t resist—. He pulled out an embroidered blouse with golden threads, a pair of jade earrings that seemed to have been sculpted with ancient patience, and a bamboo-covered notebook that cracked when opened.

—Min-gyu… This is incredible— you whispered, touching the items as if they were fragile. As if everything, at that moment, was fragile. —Thanks to you— he said, lowering his voice too. —For respecting my space. For being here. You’re always here. You know you’re my safe place.

“My safe place”, you thought. How easy that sounds… When there’s no risk of parting. You settled in like always. You by the window, Min-gyu in his favorite chair. And Won-woo in the middle. But it wasn’t the same. There was something different in the air. In how he held his glass, in the way he didn’t quite settle back. Like he had one foot in another place. Min-gyu began to talk. And talk. About flavors, streets with red lanterns, clothes hanging from balconies, a man who mistook him for a famous actor and asked for a selfie on a train. You laughed, because laughter was a refuge, a pause. —And thanks for not killing the balcony plant— he joked, winking at you. —I’m impressed.

—It almost died. I talked to it. I gave it black tea. I think it believed me—. He laughed. You did too. And by instinct, by reflex, you turned toward Won-woo, looking for that shared glance. That invisible line that connected you when no one else could see it. But he wasn’t looking at you. His eyes were fixed on his phone. And his expression was hard, tense. Like someone waiting for something important, or just having received it. Min-gyu noticed the silence.

—And you?— he asked teasingly. —What’s got you so caught up? Won-woo lifted his gaze like someone emerging from a dream.

He blinked. —A message. For work— he said, without inflection.

—Really? Where?— A second of pause. Almost imperceptible. Like he hesitated to say it.

—Busan.

And that’s when the world, for you, stopped spinning.

The blow was so brief, so clean, that you didn’t make a sound. Your body didn’t move. But inside, something cracked. Like a dry branch under the foot of someone who didn’t want to break anything.

Busan.

You repeated it silently. As if you could lessen its power by thinking it without sound. You gripped the edge of the chair, searching for air. And asked, with a voice you didn’t recognize as yours:

—And… Are you going to accept it?

Won-woo shrugged slightly.

—I don’t know. I just read it—. You didn’t look at him, but you felt it. You felt the distance. The pressed shirt. The faint smell of cologne. The way his attention had been elsewhere all night. Like something was already saying goodbye without you being able to stop it. Min-gyu changed the subject with a joke, with another story. But the thread that had connected your thoughts had already come undone. Everything was background noise. A stranger’s laughter. White light in a room too large. The story that seemed to be beginning now revealed itself as a parenthesis. Beautiful. But finite.

The offer was good. You knew that with a quiet certainty, almost painful. All it took was reading a line of what Won-woo wrote to understand it. He had that strange talent of looking at the world with a piercing tenderness, capable of turning a simple beam of light falling on a carpet or a pair of umbrellas forgotten at the entrance of a bookstore into a scene that tore at you, but in that sweet, almost addictive way. Like when an old song pulls you toward a memory you didn’t know you missed. That you thought you had forgotten. Of course they had wanted him.

Of course someone, somewhere in Busan, had read those words with the same tremor you felt the first time. That voice had something. Something valuable, unique. A quiet beauty that deserved to explode in more eyes, in more souls. To reach further. To be heard louder. And you… You just wanted to stay a little longer in that echo. In that half-open notebook that, for an instant, had let you see something not meant for anyone.

You thought about the offer. Drawing what he wrote. An apparently simple gesture. But to you, it was something else. It was a key. A crack. A secret invitation to an intimate place, where his thoughts breathed defenseless, where you could discover him without him knowing. And now… Where was that place? The emotion that had ignited you that afternoon —like a match that catches in the wind, fleeting but intense— no longer burned. It had been extinguished before you could bring your hands to the heat. Too soon. Too real. It wasn’t his fault. Not entirely.

But that didn’t stop the pain. You didn’t know what your place was in his life. Maybe you didn’t have one. Maybe you were just “Min-gyu’s sister who shows up with tupperwares and cookies”. Or maybe you did. Because there was something in his eyes. In the silence between words. In the way he listened to you without interrupting.

And yet, now you felt him closing up again. Like a flower folding before a storm. Like a door that opens just enough to make you dream of the light, and then shuts with that final click that sounds louder than it should.

Did you have the right to be sad?

You asked yourself that while pretending to laugh at one of Min-gyu’s absurd stories. This time he was talking about a taxi driver who collected traditional knives and offered him one wrapped in silk, in the middle of traffic. You laughed out of reflex, but you were far away. Very far. On another plane. Trapped in that thick, nameless emotion: Between emptiness, resignation, and a silent anger you barely knew how to recognize. You sought relief in the external world.

You looked at a cup, a scraggly plant, the shape the shadow drew on the floor. As if focusing on something else could save you from thinking about him. But then you did. You looked at him. Won-woo no longer had his phone. He had set it aside, as if it no longer mattered.

Now, he was watching you. Directly.

With those eyes that said more than words could hold. They weren’t cold. Nor empty. There was something calm but sharp in them. An unspoken goodbye. A doubt that begged to be read. There was no hardness in him. Rather, there was a fragility trying to appear solid. As if he were telling you with his gaze: "Don’t judge me for not knowing how to hold this." He stretched out his hand, took a cookie. Held it for a few seconds. Looked at it as if inside it he could find something missing. And then he bit into it slowly, as if buying time to avoid speaking.

Min-gyu, busy with one of his gifts, noticed the heavy air that had formed like an invisible cloud in the middle of the room. —So?— he asked with a sideways smile. —Are you going to tell us about that magical proposal, or are you going to keep staring at your phone like it’s a tragic novel?— Won-woo raised his eyes. His mouth was already empty, but his throat full of doubts. He took a second longer.

—There’s not much to tell— he finally said, in a low voice. —It’s just a possibility. Nothing certain.

Min-gyu snorted, amused. —Always so mysterious. You’re a poem locked with a padlock.

You remained silent. You felt that if you said a word, your voice would break in your throat. And maybe with it, something else. Min-gyu turned to you, with that playful spark he used when trying to lighten the mood.

—And you? How was it these days with this hermit of poetic silences?— Thousands of images crowded your chest. The walk under the wisteria, the coffee you shared without saying a word, the moment he took your notebook and flipped through it silently. "I want to keep seeing you", he had said. "To continue the story". And you had wanted to believe it was true. But now… Now you didn’t know.

—Fine— you said, and the word felt like a half-empty glass offered with a forced smile.

Min-gyu looked at you carefully. He read you like always. Quickly. Effortlessly. He raised an eyebrow, mischievously.

—Will you help me with something in the kitchen?— You didn’t need an excuse. You got up. Your body tense, as if it was about to break. You followed him. Only when you crossed the door and Won-woo’s face was out of your sight, did you release a little air. You didn’t know how long you had been holding it in.

Min-gyu opened a cabinet, took something out —it didn’t matter what— and placed it on the counter without even looking at it. Then he turned to you.

—Do you want to talk?— he asked, straightforwardly, with that unadorned tone he only used when something truly mattered to him. And you… Looked down. You didn’t know where to start. But you knew you needed to say it. The air in the kitchen smelled of wilting jasmine, like a memory refusing to disappear. The steam from the abandoned tea had dissipated, but its scent still floated between the shadows.

Half-eaten cookies rested on a cracked porcelain plate, silent witnesses to a conversation that had yet to begin. The hanging lamp bathed the scene with a warm, dim light, gilding the edges of the silence. Min-gyu leaned against the counter, arms crossed, his face serene. He didn’t ask. He didn’t hurry. He was just there, like a reliable presence who knew how to read the gaps between words. Your fingers gripped the edge of the table, white from tension, as if that wood could hold you beyond the inner tremor.

—It’s strange— you murmured, not lifting your gaze. —He asked me to draw his stories. That’s all, on the surface. But the way he said it… It sounded like something else. Like behind that proposal, there was a crack, an invitation to look inside something he himself didn’t dare name—. Min-gyu nodded, with a minimal gesture. He didn’t need to say anything: His listening was a refuge.

—I thought it was just a courtesy— you continued. —A passing comment from someone who admires your work. But his voice... It had weight. Like he was offering me a corner of his universe. Not a leading role, no. Just a corner from which to watch. And still… I can’t stop thinking about it—. You placed a hand on your chest, trying to calm the vibration that had settled there. A constant echo.

—Since then, I’ve been thinking about it. Not just about him, but about how he makes me feel. It’s like an unease that doesn’t dissolve. Like my whole body knows something is moving beneath the surface and can’t ignore it.

Min-gyu tilted his head, with that loving patience only seen between siblings who have shared scars. His voice was low, as if not wanting to disturb the delicacy of the moment. —And what do you feel?

You took a deep breath. The air thickened, full of the unspoken. Then you spoke, as if undressing with words. —It’s like walking on a tightrope. Sometimes, I feel like with just one look from him, I could understand everything. That his silence has more language than any phrase. And other times… He becomes distant, almost unreal. I convinced myself it was a delirium. A mirage I wove on my own.

Min-gyu moved away from the counter with a light sigh, crossing the space until he was closer to you. —It’s not a mirage if you feel it. Even if he doesn’t know how to hold it, even if he doesn’t even know he’s giving it. What you received, what made you tremble... It was real.

Your eyes found his, and for a moment, you found in his gaze the recognition you needed: Someone else validated the existence of that intangible thing that overwhelmed you.

—Sometimes, I imagine him in scenes. Neither romantic nor logical. Just… Moments. Like my mind searching for spaces where we can both be without this vertigo. Today, for example, I saw him eat a cookie, and I thought of drawing him like that. With his head tilted, eyes lost, as if he were chewing a memory. Or sorrow—. You laughed briefly, with a hint of shyness.

—And at that moment, I imagined he said something. I don’t know what. Something he didn’t say and maybe will never say. But it made me want to capture him there. With ink. As if by drawing him, I could keep a part of what I don’t understand—. Min-gyu watched you with an old tenderness, the kind that knows your defeats and doesn’t judge them. His words were soft:

—You are not naive. What you feel has roots. And what he carries... It's not light. Sometimes people walk around with stones in their chest without even knowing they are there. And then they trip, without even understanding why.

You nodded, swallowing the lump that rose in your throat.

—There are times when I wish I could hug him— you whispered. —But not with the desire of someone who loves. But with the urgency of someone who wants to stop the other from falling apart. As if just holding him could prevent his ruin.

—And other times…— Min-gyu added, anticipating your emotions, —...You wish you could shout at him. Ask him why he looks at you as if you were a fire. And then walks away as if afraid of getting burned.

You smiled sadly. A tear trembled, rebellious, but didn't fall. As if even your tears knew it wasn’t the moment to give up.

Min-gyu returned to his original position, took a sip of the now-cold tea, and scrunched his nose thoughtfully.

—Look, sister— he said, with his most intimate tone. —I don't know what knot he has in his throat, but I do know this: When someone touches your soul, even if just a little, it's natural to want to build them a shelter. But you can't live in that house alone, if he doesn't want to enter.

The silence returned, thick and sincere.

—So, what do I do with all this?— you asked, your voice low, as if carrying a secret too heavy to bear.

Min-gyu came closer. He wrapped his arms around you and held you, like someone who’s learned that sometimes the only remedy is human warmth. His chin rested on your head.

—You keep it— he said. —Like you keep an unsent letter. Not to forget it, but to understand it someday. And if the moment never comes, if you never get to deliver it... You’ll still know it was real. That it existed. That it made you tremble. And that, in itself, is love.

When you returned to the living room, the first thing you noticed wasn't his absence, but the perfect gap he left. As if the air was still shaped to his form. Won-woo was no longer there, but the cookies from the plate had disappeared, leaving only a few crumbs scattered like a harmless trace of what could have been a silent goodbye.

You sighed involuntarily, like someone exhaling a bit of their soul. You looked for Min-gyu, needing some form of refuge. He responded with a simple gesture full of tenderness: A hand on your shoulder, like an anchor; the other smoothing the couch, inviting you to rest as if he could shelter you from the weight you carried in your chest.

The night fell without drama, wrapping everything in that thick mantle that sometimes seems to have a will of its own. From the next room, you heard Min-gyu’s door close gently, like a curtain falling without applause. And then you were left alone, accompanied only by your thoughts, which were many, loud, and disordered.

You wrapped yourself in blankets, seeking shelter more than warmth. Part of you felt ridiculous. All this, you thought, why? For a man who hadn’t even given you certainties? For a connection that perhaps only lived in your imagination?

You turned on your phone. The cold light of the screen illuminated your face as if you were the protagonist of a scene with no name. You scrolled through the old messages with Won-woo. At first, there had been magic: Loose words that felt like keys, jokes with double meanings, questions that weren't asked out of courtesy but out of desire. Now, only gaps remained. Dead time. Interruptions that had become routine.

You sighed deeply and long. With a frustration that had no scream but had a knot. You threw the phone to the side, where it landed with a dull thud, without scandal. And you took your head in your hands, as if you could squeeze your thoughts to make them stop hurting.

—You shouldn’t do that— said a voice behind you, low and raspy, like the echo of an ancient dawn. —You'll have to buy another one later.

You froze. Your heart suspended. You turned slowly, as if fearing you had imagined it.

But no. There he was. Won-woo. Different. In a loose t-shirt and cotton pants, as if he had also stripped away all his masks. His hair disheveled, feet bare, and in his eyes, a calm that wasn’t indifference but intimacy.

—I couldn’t sleep— he said, his voice coming from a soft place inside him. —Do you want some tea?

You nodded. The words didn’t come, but your silence took the shape of acceptance. He walked to the kitchen without hurry, as if every movement were part of a secret ritual. The sound of the boiling water filled the room with a serene murmur. There was a sacred pause in the air. As if the whole universe had stopped just to listen to what you hadn’t yet said.

When he returned, he offered you a cup. He sat on the opposite end of the sofa, keeping a polite distance, but one filled with meaning. As if he knew getting too close would make everything explode.

—Thank you— you said, barely, with your voice wrapped in tea steam and fragility.

Won-woo nodded, but didn’t say anything right away. He took a sip, looked at the cup, and then spoke with the serenity of someone who had been chewing on his words all night.

—I was thinking... About the work. About the proposal.

You lifted your head, alert. It surprised you that he mentioned it again. After so much distance, that simple comment was almost a caress.

—And?— you asked, softly, not wanting to scare the conversation away.

He turned the cup in his hands, as if searching for answers in the porcelain.

—I don't know if I can— he said, straightforwardly. —I don't know if I want the world to see what I write. I’m scared they won’t care. That they’ll look at it and feel nothing. That it’ll be invisible. Or worse, that you’ll put your art into something that’s not worth it.

Your fingers tightened around the cup, as if you wanted to hold him too from afar.

—Don’t say that— you whispered, with a hardness you didn’t expect to have. —Your words matter. I read them. And they hurt, and they moved me. And they kept me awake, thinking. Not everyone can do that. You can.

Won-woo then looked at you, directly, with those eyes that couldn’t lie even if they tried.

—It’s not just the work— he said, and in his voice, there were cracks that let light through. —It’s what changed since I mentioned it. What happens to me when I imagine you drawing what I wrote. When I see you close. When I realize there’s something moving inside me, and I don’t know how to stop it. Or how to name it.

The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was fertile. A ground waiting for the first seed.

Your lips parted, but the words wouldn’t come. Because something inside you understood that this couldn’t be resolved by talking. That there were feelings that could only be held with a still body, with trembling breath, with the heart juggling.

Won-woo looked down at his cup, as if afraid he’d said too much.

—I’m scared of what crosses between us— he confessed. —What I don’t know if you feel too. What escapes me every time I look at you for more than five seconds.

You stayed silent, but brought the cup to your lips, as if the tea could give you courage. Your heart was beating in every direction. You didn’t know what to say, and maybe it didn’t matter. Because in that polite distance, on that shared sofa, with those two warm cups, the essential had already been said.

There were no names yet. No promises. Just a possibility beating between the two of you, like a flower about to bloom.

The silence settled between you like a third presence, invisible but intense, filled with something that had no name but pulsed strongly. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was dense, like the calm before an electric storm. Outside, the city seemed to have held its breath, and the distant lights of the buildings flickered like fireflies trapped in a glass jar.

The corner lamp spilled a soft, amber, and melancholic light, gently caressing the edges of the scene with tenderness. Your fingers played with the rim of the already empty cup, as if in that simple gesture, you could find some sort of comfort. Won-woo did the same. His eyes were lowered, but his brow spoke loudly. In his silence, there were questions he dared not ask, fears tangled with desires, words that seemed to have barricaded themselves behind his lips.

It was then, without warning, that your voice broke the calm surface of the moment.

—What if i do?— you asked, almost in a whisper. —What if we feel the same?

He lifted his gaze. One second. That was enough. Because sometimes a second is enough to crumble walls, to let a truth slip through the cracks of what’s unsaid.

Won-woo didn’t respond immediately. He took a breath, that dense air that seemed harder to take than before. He placed the cup on the low table with a slowness almost ritualistic, as if letting go of it was accepting that he could no longer hold that distance. He straightened up but didn’t come closer. Not yet. His eyes rested on you, with a gravity that hurt and healed at the same time.

—What if we ruin it?— he murmured, with that voice that seemed made for reading love letters that were never sent.

—What if we don’t?— you answered, not breaking eye contact, not trembling.

And then everything changed. Not like an earthquake, but like the thawing of an ancient river. You saw him give in slowly, as if he finally accepted that what was between you was stronger than the fear. Deeper than the doubts.

There was no music. No memorable phrases. Just his steps drawing near. First, his eyes, searching for you. Then, his hands, which hesitated in the air before touching yours. And then, the breath, warm and contained, suspended between you like an unsaid prayer.

The kiss came like the last leaf falling from a tree in autumn: Inevitable, silent, perfect.

It wasn’t a hungry kiss. It was deep. It was a descent into the sacred. As if by brushing your lips, he was opening his chest and showing, without reservation, everything he had hidden. He leaned towards you with the reverence of someone touching something sacred, and you received it with your eyes closed, as if this gesture were an old promise, finally fulfilled.

Your fingers clung to his shirt, not out of weakness, but out of the need for an anchor. His hand rested on your cheek, tracing a slow caress with his thumb, as if every inch of your skin could say something his mouth had yet to find words for. It was a kiss filled with tenderness, yes, but also with vertigo. A leap without a net. A language only the two of you spoke in secret.

And although it lasted only a few seconds, time curved. Because there are kisses that break the clock. That undo the rules. That melt the past and the future into a single, absolute now.

When you parted, it wasn’t by will. It was out of the need for oxygen. Your foreheads stayed pressed together, eyes closed, as if neither of you dared to look at what you had just unleashed.

Won-woo’s hands touched you with affection, an affection never expressed but always present in the silence of the air. A half-smile rested on his lips, almost sad, almost endearing. He moved closer again, this time with an intensity you never would have imagined from him.

His hand, which had rested like an anchor on your cheek, slid down the curve of your neck, barely grazing the skin with the tips of his fingers, as if exploring new and forbidden territory. It wasn’t the urgency of desire, but its most delicate version: The desire that breathes, trembles, waits to be allowed.

Your lips parted not to speak, but because the air seemed thicker, as if suddenly it was harder to hold it in your lungs.

—I don’t usually do this— he whispered, in a voice almost inaudible, as if speaking to himself. —Not like this.

—And how do you do it, then?— you asked, barely brushing the words, as if you weren’t sure whether you wanted the answer or the silence that could avoid it.

He didn’t answer. He only lowered his gaze to your mouth and then met your eyes again. There was a question unasked in his gaze, a surrender that wasn’t total but was inevitable. Then his other hand searched for the curve of your waist and wrapped around it with a slowness almost liturgical.

And you... You gave in. But not like a fall: You gave in like a flower blooming in the night, silently, without announcement.

Your fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt, not with desperate passion, but with the care of someone who fears that if they hold on too tight, the other will disappear. His mouth returned to yours. This time it wasn’t a shy brush: It was a slow, deep exploration, lips barely parted, breaths mingling. It was a kiss that didn’t ask, but offered.

Was it love? Was it desire? Was it the echo of a long-shared loneliness?

The doubt floated, suspended in the air, like an ancient perfume. And yet, you didn’t want it to dissipate.

He guided you without hurry, with fierce delicacy, to the carpeted floor. The blanket fell aside, wrinkled, like a silent witness. You lay between twisted cushions and soft shadows. No words were spoken. There weren’t enough words. Only sustained glances and caresses that asked without speaking.

His hand slid down your back, moving with a mix of respect and desire, as if seeking entry to something more than your body. Your legs tangled with his, seeking shared warmth, that warmth that starts as a brush and ends as an entire tongue speaking without a language.

He lay down next to you, pressed against you like a shadow finally merging with its origin. His warm breath grazed your neck, and you shivered. You closed your eyes, but not to sleep. You closed them to feel better, to let the touch speak for you.

—Is this... Real?— you asked, with a voice like water, like crystal trembling on the verge of breaking.

Won-woo didn’t respond immediately. He just held you tighter, as if holding you this way could seal something he didn’t yet know how to name.

—I don’t know— he whispered, his mouth barely grazing your clavicle. —But I don’t want it to stop.

And that was enough.

Because sometimes it’s not about understanding. Sometimes it’s just about being there, about allowing someone to come closer with that dangerous sweetness of someone who isn’t sure if they’ll stay, but touches you as if they will. Outside, the world could keep sleeping, ignorant of what burned inside those four walls.

But here, in this corner of night and desire, two souls were tentatively recognizing each other. And even though neither spoke the word “love”, in the way they touched —with fear, with surrender, with reverence— something sacred had already begun.

Because maybe love, at first, is nothing more than this: A shared silence, a tremble in the skin, the certainty that someone, at last, dared not to run away.

190 notes · View notes

siddyyyyyyyy · 9 months ago

Text

You're Only Sixteen

wc: ~4.6k

summary: child soldier joins task force 141 part THREE; part two, part one; part four

warnings: brief flashback, blood, violence, nightmares

a/n: I'm genuinenly happy how well this is going so far, I'm going to update the parts a bit more slowly for now, but I'm pretty sure I won't take too long on this. Probably. Enjoy!

This time, Ghost is leading the training for today. That just means they're no fun games like last time with Price, not that you were looking forward to it. Starting at the shooting range is like a warm-up for you, landing all shots while doing everything casually. Your reload is fast and precise, your aim is almost always perfect, and your technique couldn't be more clean.

Sparring was similar to the last time, but now you're paired up with Soap. You're both getting in your stance, knees slightly bent, one leg forward, and abdominal muscles tense. Both ready to fight, but this time without any weapons. Ghost specifically told him to strike first, wanting to see how long you can last or even win against Soap. It shouldn't be a big deal for you, even though he is quite a big guy, full of muscle, and slightly taller than you. You've mostly had opponents your size or bigger in field, and you never really had a problem winning or lasting long. Well, besides one person back in camp.

Soap strikes you first with a sharp jab to your side, but you dodge it quickly, hitting him back. You focus on your technique instead of winning, wanting to be strong against him. He seems to be focussing more on his technique as well, noticing how fast he works and his reflexes are. Your fighting styles are similar; the only difference is how you two use it in practice. While he's using more strength and power, you're trying to be quicker than your opponent and trick them.

You kick against his knee, and land some hits against his weak points, it's hard for him to stay balanced or focused. He huffs and stumbles back, only to rush to you quickly and try to tackle you down. With his amount of strength, it's difficult to actually stop him or dodge, having to think quickly. With a small grunt, however, you're down, with him trying to keep you like that. Your heartbeat speeds up and your eyes widen, your breath hitching in your throat. The position you're in is too familiar; trying to get out of it as quickly as you can. Soap is oblivious, just training with you and having tackled you down, keeping you pinned on the mat. Your brain is quick to handle, pulling out the same moves you did in camp. Soap doesn't even realise he's getting into a headlock by you at first. His back on the mat with your arm holding him tight around his neck, feeling how you're only squeezing him more and more with your bicep. He grips your arm and tries to relax, not wanting to get hurt. Luckily, that's all it takes for you to snap back to reality and let go. You sigh out heavily and stand back up, calming down.

»Ye alright?« He asks you even though he should be the one getting checked up on. You give him a weary nod, clearing your throat.

»Yeah, sorry about that.«

You mumble back and focus on not thinking back to the time in camp. It's almost confusing you now, how similar and suffocating it felt. But you know better than to think back to a time like that and distract yourself in training. Soap tilts his head with a confused gaze.

»What do ye mean? The headlock? Nah, that was sick.«

He encourages you with a thumbs up. You nod, unsure of what to say back. The training continues with trembling hands and more focussing on your breathing than technique, feeling on edge the entire time, thanks to the small trigger. Of course, no one has noticed these signs from you, or at least no one has said anything about it. On the other hand, you're glad no one has noticed your trembling hands and more or less distracted mind during the time.

Once it's over, you're headed to the showers and straight back to your bunk. That was more off-putting now that you're alone in your small room, thinking quietly to yourself about what had happened. You shouldn't feel this way, having thought you were over it a long time ago. Maybe it was something else that triggered you, or maybe you really aren't over it yet. Getting in a pin on the ground was one thing your past rival used on you as much as he could. You don't know the real reason behind his technique, but all you do know is how weird and creepy it felt like.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips once more, slumping down on your bed with no energy. Today's training was longer but not as exhausting as the one at camp. But you still feel very tired for no reason. You close your eyes and try to shut your brain off; instead, a lot of thoughts appear about your rival and that god awful training. You don't know why he's all of a sudden back in your mind. You don't know why you're thinking so much about it, and you don't know why you can't stop thinking about him. He was such an annoying and unpleasant person that you tried so hard to forget about, yet he can't seem to give you peace. Even when you're finally away from him.

After spending most of your day inside your bunk, trying to get your mind off old memories, it's time to actually try and do something about it. With slow steps, you make your way back to the training hall. It's dark out already, forcing you to walk cautiously around and not wake anyone. Eventually, you made it in and looked around for a punching bag… and something to wrap your knuckles with. You don't want to injure yourself after all.

It's dimly lit in the training hall, making it seem more cosy and relaxing. Especially with no one inside beside you. There are five punching bags to use in a row, but unfortunately no bandages or gloves for your hands. It is what it is, and you walk up to one of these punching bags to release some tension and stress. After getting into the stance, you land a few softer punches to get used to the feeling again. Maybe it's because you're alone in here, but it already seems too loud for you. Checking behind you, the double door is closed, so there's no way someone could hear you from their bunk.

You start again, using proper technique, and gradually become faster and put more strength into your punches. The punching bag suffers through your hard punches, taking it like a champ, all the while your mind zones out. Zoned out, all you can think about is your past rival back at camp. You don't remember his name; didn't even bother asking for it back then. But you do remember how creepy and annoying he used to be to you, for no reason. And that's enough for your punches to grow heavier and even quicker, the punching sounds are growing louder through the hall. Maybe your knuckles are hurting at this point, but you don't care. That bastard had no reason to treat you like that, leaving you confused, hurt, and probably traumatized.

It's only then when a gruff voice calls out through the hall, speaking to no one other than you.

»Didn't you have enough training for today?«

You stop in your tracks and turn around, seeing that familiar shadow again. Ghost.

Glancing down at your knuckles, you notice how red they look just from how hard you've been punching that bag for… how long already? You didn't keep track, but it seems like more than ten minutes, judging from your aching knuckles. Ghost has crossed his arms, glaring at you with tired eyes.

»Go back to bed, 's way too late for this.« He adds with a more weary tone and leaves no room for arguments, cocking his head slightly to the side. You sigh out rather disappointed, knowing you shouldn't talk back, but you also can't stop just now.

»But I just started...« You mumble and trail off at the end, already smelling how annoyed he is with you. He shakes his head, being as serious as before.

»I won't tell you again. Don't overwork yourself and go to sleep. Let your body rest. We've got trainin' tomorrow, too.« Ghost is not joking with you, probably being more stern than he needs to be. But he knows better than to let you work too much or stress over something for no reason. In his eyes, you're just a poor child who happens to have this fate and is forced to get along with it on your own. Too much alike himself. Eventually, your shoulders drop in defeat, and you nod in understanding.

»Fine. Sorry about that.« He doesn't respond back and just leaves, most likely going back to sleep, too. After considering his words and contemplating if you should just stay longer in here, you walk back to your own bunk like promised and fall against your bed. It's comfortable and quiet, dark as well.

But you notice a small med kit on your night stand, bandages and a cream for sore muscles beside it. You blink, thinking it's just your sleep catching up on you, but there is indeed stuff for you on that small table. Eventually, you apply the cream on your red knuckles and wrap them up, laying back on your bed. Maybe it really is just a normal base and rather peaceful. Maybe you could get used to this some time.

Having no energy to think any more about that, you fall asleep quite quickly this time. Even if you fell asleep quickly, it wasn’t a good sleep. A nightmare plagued you, most likely because of the trigger from earlier. A grey room with no windows, similar to your old training room in camp, several people around you, and loud noises everywhere. It’s incoherent nonsense, but you still understand everything clearly. The room is cold and rather dark for some reason; it all seems too much, but there’s nothing at the same time. Your body feels numb, and you’re wearing your bandages around your knuckles, some dried blood decorating the usual whiteness of the material. You notice it too late, but Mike has you on the ground already. The ground is even colder against your back, and you can’t do anything but lay and watch. He’s on top, which he often tried to do on you, and has your wrists and legs pinned tightly beside you.

Everything is so loud but also so quiet, it makes your ears ring. There’s a horrible stench of blood and sweat around the air, which makes it hard to stay still and fight back. Your moves are too slow, having no other choice but to stay like this. Your rival, Mike, slashes quickly through your throat, staying on top in a mocking way. It’s hard to breathe, you’re chocking on your own blood and squirming under him helplessly. The whole dream feels like a flashback, but worse. Too quick, too real.

You don’t remember much of what happened next, because the next thing you know is how you’re trying to control your breath and get rid of the sickening feeling from the nightmare. It’s not unusual you get dreams like this, but never to such an extent of being unable to breathe normally.

The digital clock on your nightstand tells you it’s time to get ready for the day. You couldn’t be more thankful for Ghost to lay the training into early afternoon instead of early morning. Because you know they’d notice if you showed up like this to the hall. Still on edge and tired, feeling as bad as you look right now. You keep trying to tell yourself that it’s normal to feel like this, hoping it’ll pass soon. Deciding to distract your mind, you go out to the park with your small sketchbook in hand. Maybe you will feel better in the fresh air while sketching something down that comes to mind.

But, of course, you never have a few minutes to yourself as a familiar figure comes by and stops in front of you.

»Drawing?« Gaz seems curious and tries to secretly subtly into your sketchbook.

»Sketching.«

»Ah. What exactly?« He carefully asks, knowing not to disturb a teenage girl when they seem peaceful at the moment. Gaz has past experience from his own family and friends, knowing how moody some are.

You hesitate to show him what exactly you’re drawing, and you just shrug in response.

»Just… anything.« That was a boring response to anyone, and he still wasn’t done disturbing your peace. He politely asks if he can sit by you for a while, sitting down on the same bench after you accept his kind offer. Gaz isn’t one to pry or mind someone else’s business, but today he’s really curious. Probably, because it’s been three days since you’ve been here and no one got to know you properly. Maybe they should work on their social skills instead.

»You sketch often?« Finally, he’s asking you about your hobbies. And finally, a normal question after years.

»From time to time.« That’s not true, you’ve been drawing since you remember and ever since. Drawing to kill time? Three pages full with doodles. Sketching something pretty? Two pages full with only that beautiful thing you saw earlier. Filling some pages to get rid of the anxiety? Done.

Gaz doesn’t quite believe your answer as well, noticing there’s only three pages left in there. Instead of prying more into it, he changes the topic slightly.

»So, what’re you drawing then? People?«

Without another word, you hand him your sketchbook, deciding it’s easier and probably faster this way. He takes it wordlessly and flips through the pages carefully. His eyes study the way you drew random people and objects, not having expected how good you’re at this. He glances at you before flipping another page, recognising the person almost immediately.

»Soap? You drew Soap?« You look down to his hands as he’s still holding it, seeing he found the first sketch of his teammate.

»I guess,« There’s no way out of this now, seeing he’s actually quite amused about it, »There’s more, actually.«

His smile widens, not having expected to see realistic drawings of his teammate. And there’s more? Today couldn’t get any better.

»More? You like drawing him or somethin’?« Gaz stops talking once he goes some pages forward, seeing some doodles of himself and Price. Even if it’s just some sketches or doodles, they look surprisingly well-made and semi-realistic. He looks towards you again, holding up that book of yours slightly.

»Can you draw Soap with a moustache?« Out of all questions he could’ve asked, he chose this one. Always picking the important ones. You need a full second to process what he’s asking before you find yourself speechless.

»What do I get for it in return?« Now, he’s the one without words. He considers for a moment as he tilts his head to the side.

»Depends on how well you draw.«

It’s then, when he can’t take himself seriously and chuckles.

»All jokes, I’ll get you a new sketchbook. Seems like this won’t do in a while.«

That’s a deal well struck with him. You can’t deny such an offer and start scribbling down a rough sketch of Soap, added with a moustache. Gaz watches the lines on the blank paper slowly resemble his teammate, grinning at the extra facial hair above his lip. It’s a sight to behold, being glad he could make someone draw a silly pic of this even more goofier SAS soldier.

Once you’re done, you show the page fully to him, and he can’t help but laugh at the drawing. Not because it’s ugly, but because it looks so much like him, and a moustache looks rather silly on his face.

»We gotta show it to him later.« You don’t see why not and nod, already seeing how absurd the situation will be later on.

After the more eventful interaction, it’s time for the usual training. This time, there wasn’t any difference in sparring, only feeling more tired than usual because of the nightmare last night. All you four did, was practice in the shooting range and go about sparring with Soap, leading with him improving your technique and showing some tricks. Of course, like no other time, you all went to the mess hall to eat dinner. You would have forgotten about the silly sketch of Soap if Gaz hadn’t reminded you beforehand to bring it over for dinner.

Sitting in front of the two teammates, Soap is laughing so hard that he’s clutching to his stomach. The drawing was really worth it, being amused at the sight in front of you. At least now, you could eat in peace without one particular person trying to get to know you better.

A familiar shadow appears in the corner of your eye, and you instinctively glance over. Ghost is approaching the table… with a Capri Sun? You look over once again, needing to take a double take to reassure yourself of what you’re seeing. And right, there he was, the scary-looking goth with a Capri Sun in hand.

It’s then that Soap also notices Ghost. Eventually, he stays standing next to the table and places the smaller but sweet drink on the table.

»Oi, what’s that?« The still amused scot questions him, as confused as you and Gaz. Ghost clarifies, finally not being an intimidating tree.

»Shitbox got me this instead of wa’er. Some of you can have it.«

Oh, so he can’t deal with a vending machine. If he weren’t your lieutenant, you would have made fun of him. Gaz nods and looks over to you after noticing you shift in your seat slightly. To him, it’s clear who wants it most. He wasn’t the only one noticing it, and Ghost shifts the drink towards you, mentioning it to you. Or maybe he just doesn’t think the two blokes deserve such a sweet drink and let’s you have it instead.

»You can have it.«

He grumbles before leaving for wherever he needs to go. It’s a bit weird to just receive something like this for no reason, especially from someone like Ghost. Glancing around, the two others seem normal about it, or they’re just good at hiding their real surprise. Eventually, you take the Capri Sun and draw in the orange straw into the packet. Oh, it’s cherry-flavoured. Your favourite.

Even when you thought your small happiness wasn’t so obvious, it turns wrong once Gaz speaks up.

»Taste good?«

You nod back in response and relax your expression as well as you can, not wanting to come off as too giddy for a sweet drink as such. They both grin quietly and continue eating with Price joining in after some time to eat beside you three.

----

It’s been a week there, and it feels less awkward now. You train and practice every day, sometimes sneaking in late at night to punch some bags. Capri Sun is something you get more regularly at lunch because Ghost can’t seem to figure out how to use the vending machine. In reality, he just likes to give you a small treat and see your eyes light up for a split second. It’s his small way to befriend you; it doesn’t matter if it seems silly or stupid, you appreciate it, and there’s no harm to it. You could compare it with an attempt to befriend a cat with treats, and it works well. Consider Ghost as a harmless guy who gives you your favourite drink- just because.

Gaz talks to you the most from the others, occasionally checking up on your new drawings and sketches, promising to get you a new one as soon as he can. He likes your drawings after all. He’s easy to talk to as well, having light conversations with you and a few jokes. Gaz is the most friendly and easygoing of them all for one. At least that’s how he is with you, but you’re sure he can be different too. Soap is as friendly as him, but for some reason you feel like you need to be careful around him.

The problem isn’t him, it’s no one’s fault, really. You know he’s just as nice and supportive, but it seems like the pin he did on you is still in your head. They can always out win you in a fight if you don’t pay attention, and the thought of it makes your skin crawl. Ignoring it most of the time, you trust them all equally. It’s better here than back in camp. If you can still call it that anymore.

Being here, made you realise how toxic it was back then. They don’t judge and punish you for making simple mistakes; they won’t even look at your scars twice or ask about them, and most importantly, no one forces you into something uncomfortable.

You feel safer.

Pushing the constant nightmares and headaches away, it really is more safe and peaceful here.

Today, after training, you cross paths with Ghost. You immediately notice that he’s carrying an almost comically large bag in his arms. Taking a closer look, you see it’s dry dog food. Dog food? Why would he need that? You never took him as someone with pets, and you never saw dogs around on base. Thank God you didn’t.

You nod briefly at him and can’t help it but approach him out of curiosity.

»Do you have a dog?«

He grunts, side eyeing you for a moment.

»Just gonna feed Riley. A K9.«

So, they do have military dogs. How come you never saw them? Back in the old camp, the dogs could roam freely on base. But they also weren’t really nice dogs, always barking and ready to attack anyone. Even you were once chased by a large German Shepherd, almost getting bitten if you weren’t fast enough.

You simply nod back, not sure what to answer to that. Of course, he could sense your shift into uneasiness and nudges your shoulder lightly while walking down the base with you.

»You should get to know some. They’re not scary, don’t worry.« That makes it better only for a moment before you fully process his words. There isn’t really a way you can deny his offer and nod slightly, following him wordlessly. He isn’t as talkative either, but you don’t think that’s a bad thing. You’re lost in thought once he speaks up, shifting the big bag of dog food into his left arm.

»Ever met a big dog? Anything?«

You’re standing outside his office as he asks, opening his door with a key while he waits for your answer.

»Kind of. Got chased by one.« He can’t help but pause for a moment at your blunt answer, eventually getting his door open and stepping in. You follow him in and close the door behind you, noticing a bigger German Shepherd sitting up on the ground. It’s tongue sticks out and seems to be happy about seeing you both, judging from it’s wagging tail.

The dog stays silent though, patiently waiting for their owner to give them some sort of permission. You stay standing near the door, watching the two silently, hoping it won’t do anything. Ghost puts the large bag down against the wall and steps closer to the dog, kneeling down as it happily walks to him and enjoys the few hat pats he gives. You watch them both interact, visibly relaxing slowly as long as the dog is near Ghost and gets fed, getting a few more pats from its tall owner. He turns to you and introduces you to the dog, his hand staying on the dog’s back.

»That’s Riley. A sweet girl- will be joining our next mission, as far as I know.«

That’s totally great. Yeah, sure, you could work with a big dog while having a fear of them. You nod either way, shifting on your feet as you watch the dog from the closed door. Riley munches on her food, seemingly content.

»She seems… nice.«

He can see how unsure you are about the dog, and he guessed he would need to get you used to dogs somehow. Ghost sits down beside Riley, nodding towards her.

»You can pet her. She’s friendly, won’t bite.« He is trying to loosen the tension with a small joke, only seeing how you glance at him before looking back at Riley. Eventually, you approach her with silent steps, being cautious of the still-eating dog. You kneel down beside Ghost, firstly just watching her with anticipation in silence. Riley is quick to realise you are close now too and lifts her head off the bowl of food, trying to get to know you eagerly. She takes a step towards you, and you stay still, not wanting to accidentally make her angry. Ghost beside you can’t help it but feel amused watching you be so stiff while also watching Riley to make sure she won’t make you even more scared.

Riley sniffs around the air shortly before leaning towards your hands on your knees, taking a sniff at them. Before you know it, she’s licking at them. You cringe at the feeling, leaning a bit away from her.

Beside you, Ghost grins under his mask, glad that you don’t seem to be scared and more amused at how you react to Riley’s sudden affection. Suddenly, the K9 is trying to lick at your face, but you turn away with a small groan. Ghost pets her on the back, commanding her to sit down for now.

It takes a moment for Riley to fully calm down, her tail still wiggling back and forth. Ghost hands you some treats and wants to show you what tricks this joyful dog can do. Riley follows his commands flawlessly, rolling over, laying down, playing dead, able to stand on her back paws for a few seconds.

You extend your hand to give her a few treats- the small cookies in shape of bones in the palm of your hand. She eats it out of there happily, probably having a blast right now.

Riley is a good dog, even when she wants to give you affection through licking your hand, which mostly feels weird, but overall she doesn’t overwhelm you like the past dogs in your life.

Ghost also seems to be satisfied with the end result, however, he couldn’t let go of your words earlier. Normally, he would mind his business, but this is a sixteen-year-old we’re talking about.

»So, you were chased by one?«

You glance at him shortly, unsure of how to explain it to him now. You try it out, explaining it to him as shortly as you can.

»We also had some K9’s on camp and I was chased by one because I wasn’t careful enough.« You don’t realise how shocking that sounds before he gives you a look of disbelief. He asks again, gently petting Riley behind her ear.

»Your own camp had dogs, and one chased you? Why’s that?« You only shrug in response, not sure yourself. The dogs were mostly trained to be aggressive and were held rather roughly.

»I believe they got extra trained to be as aggressive as possible.«

He only hums out in acknowledgement, letting go of Riley and standing back up. Every time he hears more about your camp it is when he loses five years of his life. You follow right after him, standing up and getting a last glance at the sweet dog.

»Go, get your shower.« He mumbles, reminding you of taking your shower since you joined him after training, finally able to rinse off your sweat. You nod and leave without another word, taking a quick rest before eating dinner in the mess hall.

a/n: Hope you had fun reading this, it was a bit longer than the last part. The next one is probably going to be just as long. I hope you enjoed it!

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ironrose-stylistlegion · 4 months ago

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Ranking How Difficult It Would Be to Fight the Various Creatures in Miraland

7. Easiest: Giftys

Even though Giftys are the arbiters of all styling battles, they show no sign of having any defensive abilities. It's also (somewhat) canon that Giftys are edible. This leads me to believe that at least some of them were hunted for food at some point.

6. Faewish Sprites

This might be a controversial pick, considering Faewish Sprites have an entire organized force dedicated to fighting and are shown in-game actually beating people up.

However, I think that's literally just a skill issue. If I was fighting a Faewish Sprite, I would wait for it to fly at me with its stupid little wooden sword, and then I would hit it with a baseball bat and send it flying.

The only reason Faewish Sprites aren't ranked last is because 1. Giftys are pathetic in a fight and 2. I think they could probably shoot each other out of their canons at their opponents and do some real damage.

5. Pieceys

Most weapons wouldn't work on a Piecey because they're just pieces of cloth, but we do know from the Caged Greed boss fight that they can be taken down with enough blunt force trauma. That might be difficult because they can fly, but it's doable.

Alternatively, you could use a flamethrower.

4. Croakers

They seem harmless and relatively easy to fight, but I don't think we should underestimate them. I feel like they could do a jumping kick at me and knock me over very easily. They could also hit me with their long frog tongues, and from there the fight would be over because I would be so uncomfortable that I would just have to leave.

The flamethrower would work on these guys as well.

3. Momo Clan

To be honest, I think taking Momo down in a fight would be quite easy. It's actually Momo's grandpa that gives me pause. His abilities are unknown. I would proceed with caution.

2. Cadenceborn

Kilo is the only Cadenceborn we've met so far, and he seems relatively harmless. It's important to consider that we've never seen him truly threatened, though. Additionally, the other Cadenceborn could be lean mean killing machines, and we just don't know it yet.

The sheer size of the Cadenceborn also concerns me. I'm not sure what weapon would take a Cadenceborn down. What could penetrate their scaly exteriors? Much to think about.

1. Hattys

These things scare me.

#love nikki #infinity nikki #if im missing any creatures it means theyre even lesser than giftys because i dont even remember them

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general-kenobis · 4 months ago

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kissing the cold away | E.M.

Summary: Eddie always visits you at the coffee place during his breaks, ordering the same drink every day.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!reader

Word count: 1.6k

No warnings

❆☕︎

Eddie walked in the coffee place, trying to warm his hands that were almost hard as rock from the cold. It was snowing outside, and he was on his break.

The Hideout was in the same street as your work. He would always come to get coffee whenever he was free in the afternoon. It was always almost by 4 pm. The bell above the door rang and you looked at it, facing him. He was wearing a black beanie, leather jacket on top of a sweater and ripped jeans. God. He can never let go of his style, even when it's freezing cold.

He sits on the stool close to the espresso machine. He loved the smell of it. He loved the smell of it mixed with your perfume, actually. And it's probably something he could never admit out loud. You turn around and shoot him a warm smile. One that makes your eyes crinkle. He smiles back at you and crosses his arm on top of the counter.

"What can I get you today, nerd?"

He grabs the menu from the counter and lifts it up to his face. You roll your eyes. He pretends he's reading the list of coffee options. You know he just likes to drink cold brew with almond milk. You don't know how or why. Even if it's not that, he just chooses a Frappuccino instead. You think it's because it's warm inside, because how else would he drink that outside? Might as well just pick up the snow from the floor and make a snow cone.

"Uhhhh" He stalls, purposely. "I'm going to want a cold brew with almond milk. And please add extra ice"

You gasp. You're not sure if he's joking or not. He starts chuckling, throwing his head back.

"Wouldn't you like me to pick some ice from outside? Maybe there's some with pee on them" You retorted, playfully mocking him.

"Now that's–" He points his finger at you in objection "Really low of you, honey"

You melt with the nickname. Your ears start to burn immediately every time he calls you that. You're not sure it's because you're shy, or because it sounds too sweet coming from him.

You shrug and start his order as you catch up with the news of the day. He says he's going to play a small gig next weekend. You tell him you're going to have a week off next month.

He drinks his coffee and makes a scene whenever he takes a sip. He closes his eyes, knitting his brows, and his lips leaves a sigh in delight.

"You're such a dork"

He muses towards you, placing the mug on the counter, and tilts his head.

"A dork yes, but you love him"

You eye him up and down and grimace mockingly. "Yeah, you wish"

You turn your back to him, only to serve a new customer. He watches as you smile at them, giving them suggestions about the drinks. He swallows his coffee slowly, gulping when you glance at him for a split second before using the machine.

He suddenly became incapable of speaking. You're just in your usual barista uniform, your hair tied in two small braids on the front. Your eyeliner is very discreet. Eyelashes with mascara fluttering as well. Your makeup is so light, and yet it lasts an entire day.

His coffee is sitting on the counter for almost five minutes, because that's how long it took for you to finally be free to talk to him again. You look at it first, and then to his face.

"Your coffee ain't getting colder, you know" You speak up, nudging your head towards the mug.

He creases his brows in confusion, looking down at it. Eddie didn't think he was being too slow to drink his coffee today and you seemed to have noticed it though.

"What do you mean? I'm a slow drinker" He tries to be bold about it, but you scoff at him.

"You almost always inhale your drinks. Unless it's a Negroni, which is like the worst drink ever"

Eddie opens his mouth in offense. "Don't you dare speak of the best recipe invented!"

You're staring at him, defiantly. You're leaning against the counter, holding the edge of it with both hands. He downs the entire cold brew, placing the mug back on the counter. He licks his lips and glances up at you, wiggling his brows.

"Now you're just going to get a brain freeze, dork" You giggle at him.

Eddie is the king of acting. So when you least expect from him, he shows his skills. "Ow, fuck. Ow, ow"

He's squirming in his seat, one hand spread over his forehead like he's having a headache. You immediately take a step further and hold his head with both hands, looking concerned. He removes his hand from his face and smirks at you.

"You're the most insufferable person I know, Munson" He watches as you slap his hands away, laughing at your reaction. "You finished your beverage. Now get out of here"

He is still giggling at you. Your face might show how annoyed you are, but deep down you match his energy. His sense of humor is one of the things you like the most about him. You love the way there's never a bad time for him, even if he's short on money.

"Hey, you can't kick your clients out! It's snowing outside, it's a crime to let people freeze"

When you look at him, he knows you're about to be serious. "I'm gonna commit a crime myself if you don't stop annoying me"

Your forehead is wrinkly because of your eyebrows that are knitted. He tries not to laugh at you, but he finds it difficult when he's having fun pushing you.

"Sorry, honey. Just trying to lighten up your day a little more" He raises his hands up in surrender, his bangs moving as he shakes his head.

He stays there until he has to get back to work. He tells you the most stupid jokes, he tries to flirt with your friend Betty and when you try to whack him with your dish cloth, he shields himself with the menu. Eddie makes your day better, no matter how it's going. He knows when you're in a bad mood, too, which makes him dial down his clownish demeanor.

He always offers to pick you up from work and drive you home. Even if you live only a few blocks after him. He doesn't care if he has to go back. You try to bring your own food every day so you eat better, but sometimes he makes up the idea of having different food whenever he thinks of it. And today you were going to eat pizza.

You're sitting on your couch as Thundercats is on TV. You talk through eating and watching the TV, laughing every now and then when you start gossiping.

Eddie finds the most random things to talk about and, strangely enough, you like to hear about them. He geeks out about Lord of the Rings and D&D, which you don't understand but you nod anyway.

You're talking about your plans to go to college, rambling over your insights, and how you're planning on getting a place to share with Robin. You're distracted by your own subject, when Eddie impulsively reaches out his hand to rub off the pizza sauce from the corner of your mouth. He slightly ran his rough thumb over your skin, removing the stain off of it.

He gave you a kind smile as soon as he dropped his hand back to his plate. You sheepishly smiled, like you just lost confidence by standing next to him.

Sometimes he doesn't want to leave your place, he wishes you would ask him to stay, but he doesn't want to overstep his limits. As he dries the dishes, Eddie stays in his daydream, thinking of how he could ever ask you out. Because he would love to. He just wouldn't know if you'd love to.

As you stand on your doorstep, you say goodbye to each other while he makes another joke or two. It's always like that, he wants to make sure you're still having a good day when you lie in bed.

It didn't cross your mind before, but now it feels like you could actually have him around sometimes. Do some sleepover, or something. You take a step towards him, lifting your feet up to stand on his height. You press your lips against his cheek, inhaling his fragrance that slightly lingers on his skin. One of your hands reaches for his shoulder for support.

Eddie stays frozen for a moment, until he holds your waist against his arm. Suddenly he doesn't feel cold anymore. He turned his head only a few inches, pecking your lips gently. They're plushy and soft. You don't know why you haven't done that before, and you're great he did for you.

He stands still, holding your face with his hand, rubbing his thumb over your chin. Both your noses are cold.

You're both a little shy. He can't express the feelings that are bubbling inside of him. But he doesn't want to cross a line yet. And he thinks you would agree with him.

"Till tomorrow, honey" He says as he takes a step back, walking to his car. "Don't forget to lock the door!"

You chuckle at his words. He's always been too protective over you.

Once he's inside his car, he buckles the seat belt and grins at himself. He's feeling like he's on cloud nine and it was only a kiss. Eddie stays in the car for a couple of minutes, digesting what happened. He tries to remember your taste, pinching his lower lip.

You're still standing by your door, your back leaning against it. Your heart is hammering against your chest, and you can't describe how good it was.

He can't wait to see you again tomorrow, and he wonders if he's still going to kiss you again. You can't wait to see him, wondering if he still wants to kiss you again.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #joseph quinn fanfic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

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seospicybin · 2 years ago

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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART I

Felix x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,4k words)

Author's note: It's kind of experimental turning this into a fanfic but hope you enjoy it. Part II will be out next week x

Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.

YOU: I think physical appearance is not that important. It's all about confidence. [flips hair] I think all women should carry their self with confidence, stand tall, and always strive to be better.

But when you look at me, I'm pretty much a smoke show [laughs] I'd date myself if I could [laughs]

My ideal type is someone with a distinct charm. I'd love to see a tattoo or two on a man and someone who knows how to keep it exciting, cause I get bored easily [blows kisses to the camera]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

That's why you accept your cousin's offer in exchange for money that would save you from getting kicked out of your apartment and from dropping out of college.

She was in a desperate time too when she reached out to you as one of the contestants decided to drop out of the reality show she worked in as the casting director.

Guess desperate times reached out to each other.

But you, as a nobody with less than a hundred followers on Instagram and you believe half of them are bots, have no experience of being in front of the camera, doubting that you'll do well in it.

Other than that, you think reality shows are just a waste of time, they have no educational value but dumb people down.

But what option do you have? You're broke, jobless, and a week away from being homeless when the offer came.

"What's the reality show about again?" You ask your cousin, Sara.

She rolls her eyes at you, it's probably the umpteenth time you asked her about it again. "It's on the description."

It's on the pile of papers she gave you but you're too lazy to read that many pages written in small fonts with single spaces.

You have to bring it close to your face to read it.

A group of determined singles visit paradise to meet, mingle, and remain celibate for their chance to win $200,000.

"So..." you stop reading after seeing the amount of money you can win from it, "it's basically a dating show."

"Yes," she answers, "but... you will not be allowed to kiss or touch or have sex."

"Oh, thank God!" You let out a long sigh of relief.

Yes, you need the money but knowing that you don't have to do such things for a reality show makes you feel relieved. At least when one of your peers knows, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed about it. You can say you did it for the experience, but spare the part that you did it for quick money.

Another question pops into your head, "But then... how are we going to date each other if we're not allowed to kiss or touch and whatnot?"

Sara smiles at you, "See? That's the catch!"

She gets all excited in a second, "you have to resist each other from going at it," she further explains as her eyes turn a little loopy.

"Oh, so they'll be sex in it?"

She chuckles, "Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who knows?"

That's a vague answer and you still don't get how she would make money from making a reality show but doubtfully giving people what they want.

It's not like you're in it to actually find someone to date. You agree to join because she promised you more money once the shooting is done.

You're going to stay at a gorgeous villa on an island with a few people and try not to be in each other's pants, which is not what you intend to do in the first place.

What's so hard about it anyway?

Wow!

You might have missed the part that you have to be dressed in provocative swimwear and show as much skin as possible in the papers Sara gave you.

However, there's this one motto that always works to make you through the day.

Fake it till you make it and you have no other option but to fake it.

Your hair is styled into loose waves to make it look like you've been spending time at the beach and thankfully, you're allowed to do your own make-up. You put on a simple one, put a little blush on your cheek, and a layer of shiny gloss over your lips.

You changed into a two-piece bikini and look at yourself in the mirror.

Damn, you don't even have to fake it anymore. You look hot and you think that's why they still passed you as a contestant despite knowing that Sara is a relative of yours.

The first segment of the reality show is contestants entering the villa one by one, but in your case, you have to do it with another gorgeous girl.

"I'm Maeve," she introduced herself in a cute Irish accent.

You might or might have not just checked her out from head to toe before shaking her hand back to introduce yourself back.

You're taller than her but that's what makes her cute. She has that pretty dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, exuding a very positive vibe. You like her already.

The staff gives you the cue to start walking into the gravel path that leads to the villa while the cameras take you from every angle possible to capture your best features.

By best features, you mean your breasts and boobs, anything that possibly makes people think that's how a perfect body should be.

You are against female objectification but again, what other choice do you have? Giving up your principles just so you can live another day in this capitalist world.

Cheers welcoming both of you as the other contestants that have made their entrance before you, watching you step into the scene.

You can feel their eyes on you, either in envy or lust or things in between. You introduce yourself around with hugs and kisses, which is not how you usually introduce yourself.

Once they handed you a welcome drink which is a glass of warm champagne from being under the sun too long, it's when you see each one of them better.

Your confidence deflates in an instant because they're all way hotter and sexier than you. They look good in their bikinis and their hair is perfectly tousled like they rolled out of bed looking that gorgeous.

You're not just talking about the female contestants, the male too are incredibly stunning, their abs are on display since they're only wearing swimming trunks, their skins glowing under the sun.

You find yourself fanning your neck just from stealing glances at it.

"Hot, huh?" The other girl asks you, one with a perfect bone structure and full lips.

You lightly chuckle, "Everyone in here is hot," you carefully with what you said, aware that a mic is attached to your body.

"I know right?" She says with a flirty smile.

After a moment, you learn her name is Laura and she's the epitome of a hot girl. She has the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect nails, and even the way her hair parted is perfectly in the middle. Other than that, Laura, like other pretty girls, has it easy in her life, she's a social media influencer with 300k-something followers and said she's here for 'shit and giggles', her words, not yours.

A lot more male contestants enter the villa and everyone refills their champagne flutes as the temperature raises. You can't tell if it's because you're so close to the beach or there's just a lot of heat in here, or it could be that you're panicking inside and try not to show it.

Your cousin Sara is wrong about one thing.

There's not just one catch, they're all a catch and you can't do anything about them.

YOU: I feel like I'm in an ice cream shop and they have all of my favorite flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, salted caramels, cookies, and cream... [bites thumb] I just can't wait to have a scoop of each flavor [chuckles]

After the introduction and draining six bottles of champagne in the process, everyone is allowed to explore the place, get familiar with each other, and mingle.

Well, of course, you have to do your part, be flirty with them but you don't intend to go into that yet. Not when your confidence level is at its lowest that you can't even fake it anymore.

You sit by the lounge chair by the beach, enjoying the view of the beach while trying to ignore all the cameras filming you.

One of the cameramen suddenly got closer to get an angle when you notice that one of the male contestants is coming to the beach and you see no one else there but you.

Suddenly, you feel alarmed, immediately check your appearance, and got you wondering why that is your first reaction. This never happens in real life.

"Hi," he says, sitting on the other lounge chair next to you.

You raise yourself from the longue chair, supporting the back of your head with a cushion.

"Hi," you finally say back, trying to sound calm yet sultry like how Laura speaks.

You notice that he speaks in an accent that you can't quite decipher its origin, "may I know what accent is that?"

"It's French, but I do speak German as well," he says.

"And English," you point out.

He chuckles, "That too!"

"I learn that everyone has an exotic accent while I'm here with the most basic accent," you say and it surprises you how well you're doing at being an obnoxious reality show star.

He smiles, showing his perfectly good teeth, "Nah, I think you're cute."

And surprises yourself again at how receptive you are, smiling at his compliment. You laugh to yourself as you try to remember his name, everyone introduced themselves too quickly earlier and gave you no time to memorize them.

"I'm sorry. What's your name again?"

"Alex," he says, taking another step towards you as if he wasn't standing close enough.

Alex is super tall, super attractive, muscles in all the right places and you have never cared about such things in a man before. Alex has nice brown skin and soft curly hair, he's charming in a way that subtly grows in you.

"Well, Alex, how come you're so tall?" You playfully ask him, holding your champagne flute close to your face.

"I play basketball," he answers.

You click your tongue in awe and at the same time, feel afraid that Alex has raised your standards of men to a whole new level.

YOU: Alex is hot. Isn't that obvious? That French accent ooh... [whistles] and he plays basketball. He's like a tall glass of water and I'm super thirsty.

He's hot, he's tall, he speaks three languages, and he also plays sports. What else can he do? You wonder...

"What about you?" He asks.

You think for a moment, "Well, I only speak English," you answer with giggles.

He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at you with an intense stare.

"I can speak cat language too if that counts," you add.

He raises an eyebrow at you, "So you're a cat person, huh?"

"Yes, I am."

"I see..." he says, looking at you with an even more intense stare, "you like to be spoiled, huh?"

You turn to lay on your side to show him the curve of your body and bite your lower lip as you bravely stare back at him, "who doesn't like to be spoiled?"

Alex licks his lip as you catch him glancing at your lips, he thought of kissing you for sure but has no idea what stops him.

"What animal person are you?" You ask as the conversation starts to dry up.

He props a hand under his chin, "Why don't you guess?"

You tap your lips with your index finger to subtly tease him, "A puma?" You wildly guess.

He laughs, "Why?"

"I got the impression that you're wild, can't be tamed," you say whatever it is crossed your head at that moment.

You don't think Alex would care anyway with what you're saying because all he can think about is whether he should kiss you or not.

"Am I right? Or am I not wrong?" You dare him by closing the gap a few inches short.

Yet he remains in his seat and you're getting bored of waiting already. You retreat from keeping this going and sit up on the longue chair.

"I think I have to start getting ready for the party," you excuse yourself.

You're not proud that you're back to being such a bitch who plays with men but gosh, something about this reality show that brings out the bad girl in you.

YOU: Perhaps it's too early for him to get his move on someone. I think he wants to keep his options open and that's what I'm doing as well, I want to get to know a few of them and see if I... uh can have some fun.

The males are already waiting at the beach for the party.

The females are taking longer time to get ready because there is so much to do, hair, make-up and even putting fake acrylic nails.

You have lived as a woman for twenty-three years but only realized now how exhausting it is to be one. Not that you don't like it but people oftentimes don't give women enough credit for it.

"Come here, you sexy!" One of the males says.

Wow. What a way to impress a woman!

Everyone is sitting on the benches set around a bonfire and drinking cocktails with umbrellas in them, sipping and talking, checking each other out in secret or not so secret

A player recognizes another player so there's no use for all contestants to play naive, pretending that they're just here to sit around bonfire and make friends.

Everyone knows that they're here to get wild and becomes famous by doing it on a reality show. Except you thought, you don't want to go that far.

"Icebreaker time!" Says the girl with brunette hair and rosy cheeks. You believe her name is Heidi.

"Each one of us will take turns to stand in the middle with a blindfold on and anyone can do anything to that person. In the end, they have to guess who did it," she explains but more like babbling around the words while seductively chuckling in between words.

You don't get what she's saying but try to learn the game by watching as she takes the first turn to set an example. Heidi is a total babe, it's impossible if no one wants to have a piece of her.

A male comes up to her and has a deep kiss that put everyone to shame. One look and you can tell that it's one hell of a kiss. You sip the drink you've been holding in your hand.

Your heart is drumming the closer it gets to your turn, afraid that someone does things with you but it would be more embarrassing if no one does things with you.

So far, everyone at least has a kiss or a smooch, Laura even lets a guy touch her ample bosoms. You haven't made a move yet and it's kind of a requirement that you show your wild side because that's the idea of the show.

It's Jamie or that's what you remember his name is. He's taking his turn and putting a blindfold on, he looks gorgeous wearing a white shirt and short pants.

Jamie has glowing tan skin and six-pack abs, his hair must have skipped months of a haircut but rocking it all right. He keeps brushing his hair to the back, knowing that it looks better when it's messy.

You take a glance at everyone and none of them seem to make a move on him, impulsively, you get up from the stool and come up to him.

It's when you stand in front of him you have no idea what to do with him or more like, you have tons of ideas of what you want to do but can't choose one.

Everyone else is watching from their seats in anticipation, you shut down your brain from thinking and just go with it. You stand on your tiptoe and kiss him on the neck, covering your lips once you're done to not give him any clue that it's you who kissed him.

You run back to your seat and see what his reaction is once he takes his blindfold off. Next, Jamie has to guess who is it and to avoid looking suspicious, you calmly sip your drink and watch him guess who did it.

After taking too much time observing, he gives up, "I don't know. But whoever it is, I kind of want more," he says.

You try to remain calm and take another sip, looking anywhere but not in his direction.

It's finally your turn, your heart is beating faster and you wonder if the audio guy can hear it too with the mic resting around your neck.

Taking a quiet deep breath, you tie the blindfold over your eyes and around your head. You can only hope for the best now and block every insecurity that tries to reside in your head.

"Ooh..." everyone coos in unison and that only means someone is coming or about to do things to you.

Nervous, you clench and unclench your fists to calm yourself. Then a pair of hands gently cup your face and tilts your head upward.

Not ready for it, this mysterious person kisses your open mouth and proceeds to kiss you more, using his tongue in the most pleasurable way to taste you.

Damn! He's a good kisser and you reflexively respond to his kisses with your hands holding theirs. For a split second, you forget that you're in the middle of shooting a reality show and everyone is going to watch it.

You gasp the second they let go and have you fixing your lipstick because there's no way that phenomenal kiss not smudging it.

"Whoa. Can barely think after that kiss," you shamelessly tell everyone as you act drunk as you walk back to your seat.

Sipping your drink, you secretly assess everyone and try to guess which one of them kissed you. They're all hot anyway, it's not a loss to kiss one of them and you didn't know why you were fussing about it earlier.

Since Laura is taking the last turn and everyone seems to be whipped by her, you can see that all the male contestants anticipated this. You bet they're lining up to get a kiss from her.

It takes only a few seconds for anyone to make a move, the first one to have it is Daniel with half of his body covered in tattoos. He has a lean body and that bad boy attitude, he confidently strides to kiss Laura on the lips, so hard that she gasps in surprise.

You find yourself clapping at two people doing lewd things in front of a group of people. When you think Daniel is the only one succeeding in having a piece of Laura, another one takes his turn.

You almost scoff seeing Alex holds her by the neck and kisses her so deeply. Instant turn off, all those charms he has seems to be wiped off your head in a second.

YOU: Well, now we all know why Alex didn't kiss me [laughs] He likes someone else and that's good, I'll stop chasing him from here [sucks air through teeth] and on to the next one! [Raises hand triumphantly]

Moving on to the next segment, you prepare yourself for your act.

Sara is nice enough to let you know what the show is really about. When you ask everyone else, they believe that they're on a dating show and are here for partying and having fun and such.

Well, until... the cone-shaped talking pops out of its hiding and stops the party and the fun altogether.

"Hi, I'm Lana, and welcome to Too Hot Too Handle!"

Everyone stops talking and turns serious while deep inside you will find pleasure from their pain.

"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships."

"That's true, though!" One of the males says and the other chuckles along.

"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."

Daniel seems to be taking the news badly, "I'm not here for that!" He comments.

"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."

Everyone is groaning in frustration, covering their eyes as if not having sex will make them die.

"No kissing. No heavy petting. And no sex of any kind."

More groans are spilling out of everyone's mouth.

"This also applies to self-gratification."

Wait! You didn't know that you'll not be allowed to touch yourself. Your body and you can't do anything about it.

YOU: The second I saw Lana, I know it's bad. But I didn't know it's that bad. Can't even touch myself? What?

"However, to aid your development, I've increased the prize fund to $200.000."

That one gets everyone hyped and jumping in excitement, including you. Thinking of that much money, you can shrug all your financial problems away.

"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."

But this one gets you down immediately, there's a possibility that no money will be left with all these horny people locked in a villa together.

"Everyone, welcome to the retreat!"

"Ugh!"

YOU: Everyone is pissed off, including me. But you know, something about being told not to do something only makes me want to do it [bites lip]

No, you're not pissed off about it. Sex is something you can easily avoid doing, you just need to keep it in your pants and that's what you're going to do.

You want the prize so much and want to put your focus solely on that.

"How do you feel, babe?" Maeve asks while putting her wavy hair into a messy bun.

You're cleaning up your make-up with her with Heidi in the room, "I'm super bummed!" You lie.

"I'm here to have fun so... I'll continue to do that," Heidi eggs on the conversation.

Maeve nods in agreement, "Right!"

Going to the bedroom, you see the next struggle and that is choosing your bed. A few of them have chosen partners to share the bed with. You don't want to choose yet so you nudge Maeve's elbow, "Want to share a bed?"

She smiles at you, "I thought you'd never ask," she answers.

Everyone else is on the bed and you look around, catching someone staring at you from across your bed. It's Jamie.

"It's you," he points at you.

You raise an eyebrow at him and mouthed, "What?"

He turns his head to the side and shows his neck, "the kiss."

Instead of answering, you slump down the bed and giggle behind the duvet. You bet he can tell from the color of the lipstick mark.

However, from all the males you see, you can't guess yet which one of them kissed you. Alex can't be it, he's sharing the bed with Laura and looking comfortable there.

That leaves Jamie, Daniel, Cole, and Felix. It could be Jamie but...

"Goodnight, babe!" Maeve says as the lights are turned off for the night.

"Night, beautiful!" You greet back and you silently thank her for stopping you to think about boys when you should be thinking about the money.

Eyes on the prize.

The first day and you wake up feeling so disoriented. It's the timezone, the weather, and the blinding sun that greets you the moment you get out of the bedroom.

They provide swimwear in the closet for everyone to wear besides your own clothes. You pick a pair and put on your make-up after with Laura and Alex, not sure if either of them is trying to make you jealous.

It's the first day of the rules applied and you already need to remind yourself of the prize fund.

"Who do you like?" You curiously ask Maeve as you're in the pool together with Jamie.

"I like Felix," She answers without a beat.

It's an obvious answer. If this show has two main characters they would be Laura and Felix. The males go for Laura and the females for Felix. You haven't had time to speak to Felix in person then again, everyone in here is attractive.

"I think he's just so hot and cute," Maeve adds.

Jamie splashes her with water, "you're blushing!"

Maeve giggles and splashes water back at him, "what about you? What is your type?"

You didn't expect she'll turn the table at you and that you're like a rabbit about to get hit by a car.

"Come on, you can say it. Brunette with a British accent, nice smile, nice hair," Jamie playfully says with a grin at you.

Maeve chuckles then comments, "I think you two look cute together!"

YOU: I think Jamie is cute, he's a goofball. We share a vibe and he always smells so good [laughs] I can't say anything yet but yeah, let's see.

There are five males and five females, everyone can pair up and be a couple but things don't work out that way. There are so many things to consider like chemistry and connection, etcetera. However, you believe everyone is just waiting for someone to break the rules to go further.

That seems to be plausible with Lana throwing a party tonight.

"We're matching!" Jamie says.

You chuckle seeing that the only matching thing you have with him is the color of the pants you're wearing.

"You look beautiful," he compliments.

You tease him by jutting your ass at him and looking over your shoulder while batting your eyes at him, "Thank you!"

Doesn't want to be tempted, he turns your body around and puts his arm around you to lounging outside. You bet that he will use the opportunity to tell you about his intention.

You haven't been in relationships for so long that you forget how nerve-wracking it is.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!" You clink your glass with him before taking a sip.

The sky is so pretty and clear tonight that you can see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky. The breeze is warm and salty, it's not good for your hair, you spent almost an hour straightening your hair and it's ruined in ten minutes.

"So do you have anyone you like?" Jamie asks.

You put your glass away and shake your head, "Nah, not yet."

He stares deeply into your eyes, "well, I like you," he suddenly admits.

"Like it isn't obvious," you jokingly say.

He laughs and licks his lips which makes you glance at his lips, it's round and full, glistening wet. You look away before it gets too creepy.

"You're gorgeous and easygoing and so fun to be around," he starts by complimenting you.

You don't know how he can have that conclusion when you only know each other for one day, you go along with him and nod, "Yeah, I agree."

He shifts on the seat and leans in close, putting his arm on the back of your head, "You're the first that caught my eyes when I came."

It's hard to know if Jamie said that in all honesty or to merely impress you. You saw how Alex jumped from one girl to another in a span of a few hours so you can't just trust his words.

Remember that they're all here for a reason, they're horny and emotionally unavailable. Sadly, that's what your types are for the last few months.

"I was hoping you'd compliment me more," you joke.

He throws his head back as he cracks a laugh, "I think it's your time to compliment me back."

You fold your legs on the sofa and put a cushion on your lap to play with the lint to keep your brain stimulated, to prevent you from zoning out midway.

You look at him as he looks back at you with hopeful eyes, "I think you're absolutely fit, you have a nice smile and are tall enough—"

"Tall enough?" He asks, a little offended.

You chuckle at his reaction, "In the best way. I hate when a guy is too tall," you explain.

"Okay, continue..." he allows.

"And you always smell so good," you lean in to take a whiff of his perfume.

"Good, yeah?"

"Tell me the perfume you're wearing," you playfully ask.

He shakes his head, "Not when there's the chance to make you take a whiff of it from me."

Jamie places his hand on your knee and the gust of wind makes his hair tousled and makes him look double attractive. His light brown eyes pierce right through you with the gaze he locked you in.

"What is there not to like about you?" You conclude.

He props a hand to support his head as he looks down at you, "what do you think about us?"

To be honest, it's too early to say something about this relationship. Not only that you barely know him, you don't have the intention to have a relationship at all.

"There's something there but I don't know, not sure about it yet," you honestly answer.

The hand on your knee moves up to your thigh now. Damn! Jamie is smooth.

"Maybe once I get to know you better, I'd know," you hurriedly add before he gets the wrong idea.

The next thing you know, you get yourself in a pickle as you find him leaning closer to you and his hand that was on your thigh, now resting on your waist.

"Maybe if we kissed, we'd know each other better," his eyes are centered on your lips.

"You want to kiss?" You lower your voice, afraid that there are other people around you.

Jamie leans in closer until his nose meets yours, "So bad," he answers.

Is it why he smells so good? That his perfume isn't just perfume, but it's also pheromones? You hold his chin, unable to choose whether to turn him away or bring him close, finding it hard to resist him.

YOU: Jamie looking so good tonight. He's literally too hot to handle [dramatically rolls eyes]

Jamie leans in closer and an inch away from your lips when you put your hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing you.

"Stop!" You mewl at him.

Jamie looks a little taken aback, thinking that he can seal the deal tonight.

"I want to kiss you," you tell him with your thumb brushes over his lips.

"But..." You cup his jaw and slowly speak to him so your explanation is not lost in the middle, "I don't want us to be the first to rule break."

If you were out there in the wild, you'd be all over each other by now. However, you think about the money, and spending money this early in the show isn't worth it, well, for you. Other than that, being the first to break the rules will only get you so much shit from everyone.

YOU: If we were outside, I would have ripped his clothes already by now [laughs] [facepalm] Lana, you should be proud of me.

Jamie sucks air through his teeth and laughs this off, maybe he feels a little rejected, you bruise his ego. Men are fragile like that.

"It's hard for me too," you sincerely tell him and throw your arms around him, consoling him with a hug.

"I'll just give you another kiss on the neck, okay?" you proceed to do it, placing a soft kiss on his neck right below his ear.

You hear him lowly groan with eyes closed, "That's not... uh, make it better."

He puts a hand around you, keeping you close next to him, "what about sharing a bed?"

You laugh at how relentless he is. Not only it means putting you at a bigger risk to break the rules but also, he's being haste about this.

"I'd like that," you answer, earning a grin from him.

"But not tonight," you hurriedly add.

His hand slides down your head to play with the end of your hair, twirling it around his fingers.

"Why not?"

The player recognizes the player and Jamie is giving you the eyes right now. You look away and snug to his side, "I hump in my sleep and I think you'd like that too much."

He cracks a laugh with his hand drawing you closer to him, "More reason to share a bed!"

YOU: It's too early to share a bed with anyone. I still want to get to know the other and... [shrugs] keep my options open.

The party is far from over but you feel tired from socializing, and worse is, you can't escape them since you're sharing a house with them for the rest of the month.

You decide to excuse yourself, going to the make-up room and powdering your nose, then staying there to sip your drinks in silence.

There are nine other people to get footage from so you don't have to worry about making it interesting for people to watch.

"Hey, I've been looking for you!"

You turn on your seat to see Maeve entering the room, "what's up, babe?"

She drags the chair next to you, then sits on it. She checks her hair in the mirror and brushes the end with her fingers.

"I'm thinking of talking to Felix," she finally answers.

You sip your drink before talking, "And why are you here?"

Maeve laughs at your playful response, she leans back on her seat and sighs, "I don't know I'm so nervous to talk to him," she says.

That should be your question but you know that Maeve doesn't seek an answer from you, she needs some encouragements.

"You're gorgeous and fun, I think he'll like you," you tell her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.

She warmly smiles at you and checks herself again in the mirror.

"But if you intend to break the rules, I suggest you apply matte lipstick," you poke fun at her.

"I should do that," she searches for her make-up bag from the cluttering mess on the long vanity table.

After sending Maeve out of the door with another encouragement in a form of a cheeky slap to her butt, you bring your drink with you to the bedroom, feeling so ready to end the day already.

The first thing you see are two bodies going at it on the bed in the corner. You don't know why but you stay there standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching them kissing on the bed.

After a minute of observation, you're positive it's Heidi and Daniel.

You hear someone coming from behind you, you hurriedly turn around to find Jamie there.

"Get me more drinks?" You immediately ask him, trying to sound natural.

"Sure, yeah, been looking for you," he says, more than eager to take you back to the party.

It's the only right thing to do. He doesn't care about the rules and if he knew that someone has broken the rules, he will be more relentless than he already is.

Thankfully, Lana doesn't announce any rulebreaking behaviors for today, the party ends on a good note and everyone has their happy ending, at least for today.

But for you, you're just happy to finally get on the bed.

As Maeve climbs onto the bed after you, you can't wait but ask her about how the talk went.

"So, how's the talk?"

From the lack of her usual radiance on her face, you can tell that it didn't go well. You regret asking about it.

Maeve scoots closer to you on the bed and leans in, keeping her head turns away from Felix's bed.

"I talked to him and he was nice, said he finds me cute and funny," she keeps her voice low.

"Well, that's great!" You comment, a little louder than you intend to.

Maeve puts on a thin smile, "yeah so I asked him if he has eyes for someone," she says.

"Yeah and?"

"He said he likes someone," she answers.

You playfully bump her shoulder, "and it's you."

"Else," she finishes her words, "he likes someone else."

She rests her head on your shoulder and you put your arm around her, comforting her with gentle squeezes on her shoulder.

"Does this mean you're going to stop trying or...?"

"Not sure," she shortly replies.

"He said you're beautiful and funny, you should focus on that and work your way from there," you comfort her.

Men are not only stupid, they're all short-sighted, and that's why they like everything big. Maybe at first glance, Felix didn't see Maeve clearly and that's why you encourage her to try once again so he can take another good look at her because who knows?

The morning alarm is ringing.

They set a time to let everyone know when to start their day even though a few of us have woken up earlier. The lights are on and greeting each other, barefaced with eyes still sleepy.

Jamie jumps onto your bed and gets between you and Maeve on the bed.

"Good morning, girls!" His voice is muffled by the pillow underneath.

Maeve gently pats his back, "Cuddles only!" She reminds him.

He lifts his head and looks at you, "Not going to lie but I was about to kiss her until you said that," he tells Maeve.

Jamie looks so fine with a bare face and his bedhead looks extra fluffy when it's tousled.

YOU: Good morning! It's a good day, clear sky, nice weather with no chance of sex. [Snorts]

When everyone is called to the cabana, you know that it's judgment time.

You feel calm knowing that you successfully refrained from breaking rules but you know that everyone is not going to be pleased that a few people spent a few thousand dollars last night. Including you.

So far, you only knew about Heidi and Daniel but there's a big chance that other people break the rules too. It's a big place, you can't keep track of everyone.

This secret you've been keeping is getting too hard to bear yourself. The only person you can share it with is Maeve and you're positive that she didn't break any rules, not that you know of.

"I walked in on Heidi and Daniel kissing," you whisper to Maeve.

"My Gosh!" She lowly gasps.

The sound of Lana's cone-shaped head chiming and your heart leaps. You're not ready to lose money, not when you have your credit card bills spilling out of your mailbox as you speak.

"I regret to inform that there are several rule breaks."

Several? So that means there's more than one rule break? You're doomed, everyone is doomed.

"Everyone better be telling the truth right now!" Cole says as the resident's sex cop.

Everyone is looking at each other and a few are looking very suspicious right now. You bet that Laura and Daniel broke the rules from the way they avoid everyone's eyes.

Heidi raises her hand like she's in a classroom, "So..."

And everyone groans, knowing that they are about to hear a piece of bad news.

"Daniel and I, we kissed in the bedroom," she admits.

It's good that Heidi decides to come clean but it's a bit upsetting that Daniel just sits there like he didn't take part in it.

"But that was it. Just one kiss!" She assures everyone.

Welp, that's $3000 down the drain. However, Lana continues to press everyone to confess.

"Let's just get it over with, guys!" Cole adds with gritted teeth.

Can't hold it in yourself for long, you call them out by the names, "Laura? Alex? Have anything to say?" You ask with a piercing gaze.

"We uh... we kissed," Alex may have a buff body and the tallest of the bunch but he's bad at being honest like all men are.

"But it's because we're sure we have a connection. That's why we kissed," Laura is, of course, backing her man and ready to claw people with her super-long acrylic nails.

"I don't care what all of you are saying. We—"

"You kissed for how many times?" Cole cuts her off with the most important question of all.

There's a moment of silence and that means it's bad.

"Twice. On the bed and the beach," Laura answers with no apologetic expression whatsoever.

"That's so selfish!" Maeve exclaims next to you and lets out a big sigh after.

The worst is Lana is still here and asking if anyone wants to own up to their shit. You don't even want to count the most you've lost, it's a lot.

"You've got to be kidding!" Jamie groans from the end of the sofa.

Not only that the truth costs everyone money but serves the juiciest drama needed for TV broadcasts.

"Daniel kissed me," Aly finally confesses.

Everyone's eyes dart at Daniel, he kissed two girls yesterday and put them in a fight after this. Heidi looks furious sitting next to him.

"I'm pretty sure he kissed me first then he kissed Heidi," she adds, her eyes throwing daggers at Daniel.

"This is a mess!" You quietly comment and plant your face in your hands.

"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $12.000," Lana announces.

You groan into your hand thinking that much money can cover a couple of months of your rent and here these fools spending them to satisfy their wild desire.

YOU: From now on, I'll be thinking of a Chanel handbag every time I get the urge to kiss someone because that's how much it costs.

"There are a total of four rule breaks in the last 24 hours and the fine on any further rule break will be doubled as of this moment," Lana announces another shocking news.

YOU: Great! A kiss equals two Chanel handbags now. [Hand against forehead]

It was one hell of a way to start the day.

Everyone's mood turns sour after that and Cole, being the sex cop he is, doesn't stop preaching to everyone to not break any rules.

What you fear the most with rules has been broken more than once now, it's allowed everyone else to take their turn and that includes Jamie.

It's only about time that he'll start demanding a kiss from you. Don't get fooled, men are just as insecure as women but they mask it well with their huge egos.

You try to avoid him and hang out with Maeve instead, chilling by the pool.

"I heard Irish people are a great drinking buddy," you want to distract yourself from the reality show you're in.

"I wouldn't call myself a 'buddy' but yeah, we're good drinkers," Maeve answers with her playful laughs.

You dip your fingers in the pool water and mindlessly splash it around.

"Come to Ireland and I'll show you a good time," she says.

You snort thinking that with the debt you have, you can't afford to travel out of the country right now but you can't pass on the invitation.

"Okay, I'll just go there with my winning prize," you jokingly say.

"Oh, yeah, totally," she responds with giggles but her eyes are nowhere in your direction.

Following her line of vision, she is watching Felix working out with Alex and Cole at the beach. You take it that she hesitates to make a move on him after knowing that he likes someone else.

"You're going to talk to him again right?"

Considering that the outside world is off-limits, leaving all of you with no choice but to interact with each other. This also means that Maeve will have to get a move on him or try not to be awkward with Felix walking around the house for the next three weeks.

"Who do you think it is?"

"The one he likes?" You guess.

She nods, glints of curiosity filled her eyes, "yeah."

"Certainly not you," you joke and break into laughter.

"Ouch!" She splashes water at you.

YOU: Maeve thinks a lot when she has nothing to worry about. She should just do it.

The house is huge even for ten people living in it but you can't keep avoiding Jamie.

After dressing up to hang out in the firepit, you sit next to Jamie at ease with the presence of other people there. But that doesn't stop him from touching you, putting his hand around you to play with your hair and whatnot.

"We should have kissed yesterday," he suddenly says.

You lowly chuckle, "When it was cheaper?"

The wind keeps blowing your way, sending your hair flying around and making it messy. Jamie attentively puts the stray hair away and tucks them behind your ears.

"Do you still want to break the rules?" You ask out of curiosity.

"If you want to," he answers.

He fixes the collar of his shirt and looks at you, "what about you?"

You crinkle your nose at him, conflicted. On one side, you want to kiss him and see if there's a spark between you and him but on the other side, it costs two Chanel handbags.

You rest your head on his shoulder, "I just don't think we should be selfish by spending money recklessly," you honestly answer.

"Yeah..." he agrees but the sigh he lets out at the end tells you otherwise.

YOU: Jamie sounds a little disappointed that I don't want to break the rules. I mean, don't hate the player, hate the game!

The make-up room is crowded with the girls cleansing their faces and doing their bedtime routine. You decide to take the last turn, lounging on Jamie's bed to make up for not sleeping with him tonight.

"Are you guys going to sleep together tonight?" Aly asks from the bed across the room.

Jamie turns his head with an eyebrow raised at you, asking you the same question.

"Yes, we are," you finally answer.

Jamie can't hide his triumphant smile and it looks adorable on him, you can't help but smile along.

YOU: I don't want to feel pressured to do it but I owe it to Jamie to at least try and see if this relationship is going somewhere.

It's understandable for them to be nosy, it's what the viewers need, a little drama, a little action but what they need are the juicy details.

Before anyone else gets nosy, you start getting ready for bed. Wipes clean your make-up and go to the bathroom to wash up, someone else is showering inside the stall.

It's a normal occurrence. Honestly, everyone else is just so calm about seeing each other's body at this point.

However, the glass wall is blurry so you don't have to worry about seeing someone's naked body inside. You head to the sink and mind your own business.

As you're brushing your teeth, the shower door opens and a hand reaches out for a towel hanging by the handle. In the mirror, you see Felix steps out of the shower and your eyes eventually meet through the reflection and you reflexively smile with a toothbrush tugged between your teeth.

"Hey," he greets.

It surprises you that the deep voice belongs to him, "Hi," you greet back.

He walks toward you and you scoot to the side knowing that he needs to use the sink.

"You don't mind, right?" He asks, taking his toothbrush out of his toiletry bag.

You shake your head, "not at all."

It's hard to not see his body when he stands close next to you. Everyone in here has a nice body but on the first impression, you see him as this thin and dainty guy.

Now, you've seen him up close, he has one of the best bodies in the house, his muscles are perfectly toned and it shows that he diligently worked on his body.

"How's your day?" He casually asks with the towel hanging low around his hips.

"Alright, I guess," you answer.

"You?" You ask back while washing your toothbrush under the running water.

He looks at you and smiles, "just got better, actually," he answers.

Felix is definitely flirting and you immediately fill your mouth with water before stupid things come out of it. You decide to quickly wrap it up before someone else enters the space even though you're doing nothing.

YOU: Felix and I are just talking. There's— [inhales] he's low-key flirting with me and I freaked out, there I said it.

Maeve is already on the bed when you enter the bedroom and so is Jamie with a space prepared on the bed for you.

It would be rude to say nothing to Maeve that you'll not be sleeping with her, so you come to her first.

"I'm sleeping with Jamie," you tell her.

She slyly grins at you, "Should I give you the sex talk?"

"No, thank you, mom!" You grab your pillow and walk to Jamie's bed still laughing.

Jamie's smile grows wider the closer you get to his bed, he opens his arms to welcome you.

"Come here, sweet thing!" He playfully says.

You hit him with your pillow before coming into his hug. As you settle on his bed, Felix walks past your bed and flashes you a smile, a little different from the one he gave you earlier.

You forget that he sleeps on the bed next to Jamie's and you don't know how it suddenly feels awkward to you.

"Be good, you two!" Cole warns with a piercing glare.

"Not going to break any rules. You can have my words," you assure him despite Jamie nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder as you speak.

YOU: At least, that's what I hope. Being in bed with Jamie and try not to break rules will certainly not going to be easy. Ugh!

Once the lights are out, Jamie spoons you from behind with his arms wrapped around you. Not going to lie but it feels nice to be with someone.

"You smell so good," he whispers into your ear.

You don't respond, afraid that it will only encourage him to do more.

"You're so soft," he says again with his hand splayed on your bare stomach.

"Night, Jamie," you put an end to the talk.

That doesn't stop his hand from cuddling you and nuzzling his nose in your neck.

"No goodnight kiss?" He asks.

You take his hand and kiss it as a substitute, earning a low laugh from him.

Jamie kisses you on the neck in return, "Night!"

YOU: It's getting a little hot in here [fanning your neck]

The first thing Cole does when he wakes up is ask everyone an important question.

"Did anyone break any rules last night?"

You shake your head because as much as it's been hard to refrain from touching Jamie, you didn't do anything but cuddle under the cover.

"I can promise you we've been good in here!" Jamie confidently states and puts his arm around you.

Aly as Maeve's new bedmate, points at Laura and Alex's bed, "I definitely heard noises coming from their bed," she snatches on them.

Alex may have a good poker face but you can't say the same with Laura, she's looking guilty but the kind that tells she's not sorry for doing it.

"You may as well spill the truth now," Daniel eggs in.

Laura nonchalantly shrugs as if she's not been acting selfishly when it's only about time that Lana announces how much money we've lost because of them.

YOU: I'm proud that Jamie and I managed to not break any rules last night. I hope that proves that we do have a real connection.

It's too late for you to walk out as Felix sees you coming into the bathroom.

You walk to the sink to grab your toiletry bag you forgot to take with you, "I can't believe our meet cute is in the bathroom," you say.

He laughs hearing your words while struggling to put sunblock on his back.

"Need help?"

He considers it for a moment then nods, "Yes!"

You take the tube of sunblock from him, pressing a big dollop of the cream on your hand and slowly lathering it on his honey skin. His skin is smooth and warm with muscles that make his back the perfect spot to lean on.

"So, you and Jamie, huh?" he suddenly asks, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.

The question snaps you out of your daze. You're thankful that he can't see your face as you're busy making sure the sunblock is covering his back evenly.

"Yes," you shortly reply.

He hums while subtly nodding his head, "And what do you think?"

You play dumb but it's also because your hands wander to his lats and they're distracting, "of what?"

Felix leans forward with hands resting against the sink, "is it serious?"

You silently gulp air because his question only means that he has an interest in your relationship which also means that he has...

"We're still figuring each other out," you settle with a diplomatic answer for him.

You glide your hands back up to lather the sunblock down his shoulder blades.

"I see," he responds with a smile.

And not just a smile, a smile that tells he got the answer he wants.

You slide your hands down his arms and playfully squeeze his biceps, "there! Done!"

He takes the sunblock back from you and checks himself in the mirror, "thank you."

Felix raises his hands for a high-five with you, "Let's have a great day!"

You smile at him and return the high-five, "Let's do it!"

YOU: Maeve likes Felix and I'm obviously team hoes before bros. Always!

"Blue looks good on you!"

It's another day of Jamie's endeavors to kiss you, starting the conversation by complimenting your bikini. He joined you sunbathing by the pool in the afternoon, sharing a sun lounger.

"Thank you!" You reply with a smile with your eyes squinting under the bright sun.

His hand is squeezing your arm, "you got some muscles here," he says.

"I played volleyball in high school," you share.

Propping a hand under his head, he looks down at you, "I want to see you play volleyball."

You chuckle, "That was years ago. I forgot how to play."

"Must be looking sexy serving ball in tight shorts," he lowers his head into your neck.

You burst out laughing and slip your hand in his soft locks, "that sounds so wrong."

Not only that you're out in the open, it's rather dangerous with how close he is and his lips looking inviting as he plants it on your shoulder.

It's only right that you distract him by giving him a little taste but not too much, enough to make him crave more.

"Do it for me?" You ask with a bottle of sun spray in your head.

"I'd love to," he eagerly says.

Jamie sprays on parts of the body he wants to touch, all over your back as you lay on your stomach and down to your asscheek, excessively kneading on them.

You laugh at how he can't stop himself that you eventually have to turn over so he can continue, spraying your shoulders.

You take off the straps around your neck so he can spray your chest and sneaks his hand on the valley between your breasts.

"Yeah, get in there!" You playfully encourage him.

Jamie grins like a child who got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. He then continues to spray on your abdomen and evenly rub them down your thighs next while glancing into your eyes once in a while.

To say that you don't enjoy teasing him would be a lie.

YOU: Jamie becomes more relentless by the day but am I wrong to not want to rule break? Isn't that the purpose of this retreat?

As the day turns to night, it's only about time until everyone got called to the cabana.

You feel sick listening to the sound of Lana's cone-shaped body chiming, especially with Laura and Alex acting so suspiciously.

Lana is a computer but she sounds not pleased as she greets everyone. Cut to the announcement, she informs that Laura and Alex did break the rules last night.

You glance at Cole who got speechless that he's just looking at Alex in disbelief.

"These rule breaks cost the group $18.000."

YOU: For three kisses? Really? Lana, please, be reasonable with the prices.

"That's not the only rule break they committed," Lana spills more truth.

This is what you fear the most, getting riled by the whole group for breaking the rules. Everyone looks at both Laura and Alex waiting for them to confess.

"I touched his willy under the cover," Laura confesses.

Everyone groans in unison.

You don't know how Laura is okay being so selfish and can keep a straight face, but that's probably why her make-up is super thick.

"This rule break costs the group a further $4.000."

"Why would you do that?" Maeve asks and she rarely gets this mad.

"It's not a big deal!" Laura nonchalantly responds.

"Yeah but not for $4.000!" Heidi snaps at her, as furious as everyone.

"Now the prize fund stands at $166.000."

YOU: I can use that money as a deposit for a house and here we are, spending it on kisses and a hand down a guy's trouser.

The night gets darker not only on the outside but inside the house as well.

Lana sends Laura and Alex to the suite to test if they're building a true connection but everyone is skeptical that they'll pass the test.

You sit on the bed with Jamie resting his head on your lap, brushing his hair to relax you now that you've lost a chunk of money.

"Alex is like the horniest people and Laura is the biggest teaser, it's a recipe for a disaster," Aly comments, lying on her stomach on the bed opposite yours.

"They will rule break once or twice at least," Jamie adds his opinion.

The night ends early but you see that Maeve and Felix haven't returned yet to their respective beds. You hope that things are going well with them.

You nuzzle your head into Jamie's chest and murmur, "We haven't broken any rules," you tell him.

"Yet," Jamie continues your words clasping your hand with his.

You look at him and smile as he looks back at you, "We've been good and I'm proud."

He foolishly smiles and opens his arms to invite you for a hug. You jump right into his embrace and those muscles on his body feel pillowy under you.

Jamie pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies even though the lights aren't out yet. You squeal as he starts to glide his hands down your sides.

YOU: I appreciate Jamie for being so patient because I know, it was hard for me to not throw myself at him.

"We don't need another rule break tonight!"

Cole pulls the duvet down to reveal that the two of you are just tickling each other under the cover.

At the same time, Felix makes his way to his bed, seeing you straddling Jamie on the bed which sends you to get off of him immediately.

It's unclear why you do that but your eyes go straight to Maeve's bed, it's empty even when the lights are already out.

You nestle your head in Jamie's neck as he lightly touches up and down your arm and kisses your hand once in a while.

You plant a soft kiss on his neck and whisper, "Night."

He kisses you back on the head, "Goodnight!"

YOU: I start to believe that maybe Jamie and I do have a genuine connection [smiles]

Everyone is looking restless from the moment they woke up and looks in shambles once they gathered in the cabana, ready for that time of the day.

After a while, Laura and Alex are returning from the suite. You recognize the glow on Laura's face right away but you could be wrong.

God! You hope you're wrong and they didn't do anything selfish last night.

You're spacing out as Lana comes with her anxiety-inducing ping sounds and all you can think about is how much money Laura and Alex spent last night.

"They're looking suspicious," Aly whispers at you.

Indeed, they are, and looking very guilty as well. Everyone waits in anticipation as Lana takes her time to announce whether they pass the test or blow all the money in one night.

"I must tell the group that Laura and Alex did..."

You hold your breath for the worst outcome.

"Not..."

It's getting harder to breathe now.

"Break any rules!"

Everyone shoots up from their seats and congratulates the couple in turns. You got so far in life that you get to celebrate people for not having sex.

YOU: So they can keep it in their pants! I'm proud!

Lana has another announcement after everyone settled in from the celebration.

"To motivate everyone to grow genuine feelings of connection as opposed to lust, I've prepared gifts for all of you."

You take the box in front of you and open it to reveal a watch inside.

"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light like this."

Everyone's watch chimes and turns green at the same time.

"While the lights are green, the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."

Cole claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "There's no more excuse for anyone to break any more rules!"

YOU: This [shows the watch] motivates me to build a connection with Jamie. Hope we get to be the first to get the green light.

After a very stressful morning that thankfully ends with a happy ending, you can have the room to breathe since the boys are out of the house to do a workshop at the beach.

The girls are hanging out in the bedroom and with the drama going on earlier, you forgot to ask Maeve why she went to bed late last night.

To get a little privacy, even though you can't get any with cameras placed in every crook and nook of the villa, you take her to the make-up room. You sit next to her while fixing your make-up in the mirror.

"Is everything okay?" You ask.

Maeve sits with both feet up on the chair and looks down at her nails, "not okay, honestly," she answers.

You stop looking at the mirror and turn your chair to face her, "why? What happened?"

Maeve hugs her folded legs and looks at you, a sad smile on her face.

"I just don't know what I'm doing here..."

You place your hand on her knee, "hey, don't say that!"

"I'm not making connections with anyone and I tried, but it's not working. I-I don't know why I'm here," she says with a heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.

It seems like things aren't going well between her and Felix, and Maeve is someone with low self-esteem, which makes her somewhat dejected that things didn't go well.

"You don't have to be a couple to make progress, you know," you comfort her and it's true, Cole is proof that he's fine not being in a pair and dedicates himself as an avid protector of the prize money instead.

"I'm not pretty. No one wants to be with me," she breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.

You get up from the chair to hug her, "First of all, everyone here is pretty and it's not a beauty pageant, okay?" You comfort her while slightly bending down with your arms around her.

"It's not about look. It's about chemistry, attraction, and stuff," you awkwardly explain.

You have no talent in comforting someone but you try your best. After a moment, Maeve lifts her head and looks at you.

"No one is attracted to me," she says with her fingers carefully dabbing the corner of her eyes to avoid ruining her make-up.

You scoff and turn the chair to face her before sitting on it, "you are so beautiful, Maeve," you assure her with both hands holding hers.

Maeve puts down her feet and your clasped hands dropped onto her lap, "I know," she half-heartedly agrees.

"For you, I'll fly to Ireland and come see you, we'll get drunk and have so much fun," you cheer her up with nice thoughts while shaking her hands.

Maeve cracks a laugh and you can see that she starts to get hopeful again. She's a genuinely kind person which is not someone you expect to meet here, you think of her as a friend despite it happening because you both are in a reality show.

A crazy idea crosses your head, "you know what? We can be a couple and win the money," you tell her.

YOU: I'm bad at comforting people and the only thing I know how to comfort someone is through actions [slyly smiles]

She laughs at your wild suggestion that it takes her a while to reply to you, "I'd love that, yeah," she jokingly answers.

An even crazier idea crosses your head, "come here then," you tell her, pulling her close until your heads meet in the middle.

Maeve senses your intention but not doing anything to stop you, instead, she leans in first to kiss you.

You kiss her back as she softly brushes her lips on yours over and over again. She tastes so sweet and warm, she knows how to use her tongue and not overdo it, and overall, one hell of a good kisser.

You pull away first as the reality that someone might walk in on you dawns on you.

"Did we just break the rules?" Maeve asks while wiping her smeared lipstick.

"You'd better have a good poker face!" You warn her.

YOU: Goodness! Maeve is a good kisser and that kiss... I think that was the best $6.000 I ever spent. No regret at all.

The boys are back just in time for another party Lana is throwing tonight.

The theme is Saints and Sinners and there's a box of costumes for everyone to wear. You choose to be an angel with wings even though you've been behaving badly after breaking the rules earlier.

He sits you on his lap even though the sofa is spacy enough for another two persons but you feel safe since Alex and Laura are there, cuddling in the smaller sofa across from yours.

"So, what did you do in the workshop?" You ask Jamie.

He takes a deep breath and his chest heaving along with yours, "we learned how to be more open with our feelings."

You nod along and leer over at him, "And how did it go?"

Jamie rests his chin on your shoulder with a hand resting on your stomach, "Well, I'm never good at it but I think I did alright."

He doesn't sound so convincing but you appreciate the effort.

"You look beautiful, babe!" He compliments you along with a gentle squeeze on your thigh.

You're immune to sweet nothings like this but a compliment is a compliment. You smile and mutter, "Thank you!"

You slip your hand into the opening of his shirt, "I like your shirt," you compliment back with a seductive smile.

He sees your hand slide in further into his shirt, "should have let another button open."

Jamie keeps checking his watch hoping that the light turns green soon.

You doubt that a few compliments can do it and silently laugh at his fruitless effort.

YOU: I'll always be physically attracted to Jamie but I don't know. I can't tell if I doubt myself or him, or us, entirely [clicks tongue]

The time for doom is here.

You exchange nervous glances with Maeve knowing what we've done would damage the numbers on the prize fund. You doubt that it's what Laura felt when she broke the rules because what you're feeling is a sense of guilt but that's solely because you behaved selfishly, not for the kiss.

"Hours after receiving the gifts of my watches, a couple of you decide to break the rules by kissing," Lana announces.

Everyone's eyes land on Alex and Laura since they're the regular rulebreakers. Just know that they'll be surprised once they found out who did it.

"You know the routine. Just spill it!" Cole sounded so done at this point.

You hate to break his trust but you don't feel bad for breaking the rules, not when you have a good intention. Your heart is pounding for how much shit you'll get either from admitting it or don't, you choose the former.

"It was me," you blurt out with a hand raised.

Jamie snaps his head at you, eyes wide filled with confusion because he knows for damn sure you didn't kiss him or vice versa.

"I'm not going to name names who I did it with and why," you quickly add and it's the only right thing to do, you don't want to force Maeve to speak out unless she wanted to.

"I'm sorry," you apologize.

Jamie looks even more confused but his eyes are scanning the guys one by one even though it isn't any of them you kissed.

"I'm sorry, Cole," you apologize to him personally since he's the one who gets sensitive the most about the money.

Maeve raises her hand and decides to admit it as well, "she did it with me."

They let out a collective gasp, laughter, and sneaky eyes going on after. Jamie squeezes your shoulder but not saying anything to you.

"Another $6.000 has gone from the prize fund, leaving the group with $160.000," Lana furtherly informs.

Funny that you didn't about the money at all when you kiss Maeve. Probably because you know that you intend to rebuild Maeve's confidence, so she's not giving up on herself and continues her journey here.

However, when it comes to Jamie, you're still not sure if you want to spend $6.000 on a kiss with him.

The rule break doesn't seem to leave that much impression on everyone.

Maybe because they give you a pass because it's your first time breaking the rule and the night ends in peace or that's what you thought.

You're chatting with Aly in the firepit to avoid the crowded make-up room when suddenly Felix comes behind you. You didn't notice until Aly sends you a signal with her eyes.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks.

Aly gets the hint and decides to leave, "I'll excuse myself then."

You've spent a couple of times alone with him even though they only last for a few minutes, but this time is different, no one is around except for the filming crew lurking in the bushes or somewhere you're not aware of.

The sofa could fit a couple of dozen people but Felix decides to sit next to you.

"Hi," he sweetly greets.

"Hi, how are you?" You ask with a smile.

His legs are spreading wide and he has gaping holes in his jeans, exposing bits of his thighs that you found are surprisingly muscular.

"I'm good," he answers, doing the classic move of putting his arm on the headrest of the sofa, "how about you?"

Your body somehow responds by putting your leg over the other and leaning towards him, "Never been better."

Felix gets quiet but his eyes are deeply looking into your eyes as if he found something fascinating in them. A while later, he clears his throat as he slightly slouched on the sofa, legs spreading wider, sending the holes in his jeans to stretch and expose more of his skin.

"During the workshop, we were taught to open up about our feelings and I–" He pauses to scratch his small nose and continues with an uneasy glance at you, "I know what I want and I want to do it. I know I'll regret it if I don't."

"Okay," you respond while nodding along and at times, getting distracted by the holes in his jeans.

"I know you're with Jamie and I don't mean to break things between the two of you but I feel like... I need you to know that I like you."

Felix talks without a beat and with the intense stare he's giving you, you gulp air feeling nervous but in an exciting kind of way.

"I like you," he says again.

Your heart starts to race because you can feel how much he meant all of his words.

YOU: Oh my God! The hottest man in this retreat likes me?!

"You don't have to do anything about it," he casually says as if he didn't just put you in a predicament since you're with Jamie.

Felix retracts his hand and accidentally or not, brushes his hand on your shoulder. He gives you the faintest of physical contact but enough to send a shiver down your spine.

Still speechless by his sudden confession, but you know you should have said something to him to avoid him getting the wrong idea.

"Thank you for letting me know," you begin.

"You're very welcome!" He excitedly responds with a wide grin.

"But let me know if you want to do anything about it," he adds with a playful grin.

Something about him makes you warm inside, you can feel your cheeks heating, flustered with his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second.

The night is late and the fireplace is laying low, swaying with the gentle breeze coming from the sea, Felix's lips suddenly look so inviting, enticing you like a forbidden apple.

This is dangerous.

"Let's head inside," he says, thankfully being the one putting a brake on the imminent danger.

YOU: This is honestly what I seek with Jamie, that excitement, that sparks and it's a problem that I got it from someone else without any sort of physical contact whatsoever.

"So, Maeve, is she a good kisser?" Jamie asks as he sits with you on the bed.

Maeve sips water from her tumbler before answering, "The best!"

She takes another sip before talking again, "You're in for a treat, Jamie."

He glances at you with an impressed smile, "Too bad that I can't confirm that," he says.

That's his way to dig at you for what you did. You understand that he feels betrayed by what you did, you refuse to kiss him but easily kissed someone behind his back.

You put your hand across his chest and look at him, "Are you mad?"

"Nah," he coyly answers.

You bring your mouth close to his ear, "are you jealous?"

Jamie chuckles as your breath tickles his ear, "A bit, yeah."

You kiss his cheek and deliver your apology with a heartfelt whisper, "I'm sorry, baby."

YOU: I, of course, feel bad for not giving Jamie the heads up about the kiss I did with Maeve. He looks rather upset but I know I deserve it.

It's probably luck that follows you throughout the times you spent in the retreat.

Everyone forgot about your rulebreaking as Daniel decides to get a new bed partner. He used to sleep with Heidi but tonight, he decides to sleep with Aly.

You nudge Jamie who's sleeping with his head nuzzles in your neck to witness the drama happening in the room.

His mouth opens in surprise while you look at Heidi who's slumped down on the bed.

"You okay?" You mouth at her.

"No," she mouths back.

You turn to look at Jamie, "Oh my God!" You lowly gasp.

"I feel bad for Heidi," Jamie whispers.

"Me too," you say back behind the duvet at Jamie.

YOU: Let's say we never know what's going to happen next [shrugs]

The mood the next morning has been set to gloomy with the drama that happened last night.

The good news is there's no sign of anyone breaking any rules and the bad news is that Jamie seems to not moving on from your kiss with Maeve yet.

Jamie is usually chipper whenever he's with you, except for today, he seems distant even though you're working out together by the beach.

"Tighten your glutes," he instructed.

You play dumb since that's the most successful way to win a guy's heart, "tighten my what?"

Jamie chuckles and enthusiastically shows you the parts of your body you need to work on, the back of your thighs and legs. His hands don't skip the chance to rub over the curve of your ass.

"Can you feel it?" He asks as he guides you to do a proper squat by standing right behind you.

You intentionally nudge his crotch with your ass, "oh yeah, I can feel it," you answer with giggles.

By working out, you hope that it would help to release tension between you and Jamie, it worked but in the process, you're getting that tingling down there with his hands constantly touching you.

You collapse onto the yoga mat from doing a plank and groan, "Ugh... I'm so horny."

Jamie laughs as he helps you get up from the mat.

YOU: I realized now that maybe Jamie needs validation, he needs more than just words from me. Maybe I have to do something about it [raises an eyebrow]

Before you can set a plan, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.

Not sure if anyone breaks any rules but you feel sick in the stomach whenever you sit down and face her cone-shaped body.

Cole is getting ready to put his laser eyes on anyone who breaks the rules.

"No one break any rules last night," Lana announces.

Everyone seems to be letting out a sigh of relief and you feel guilty just from thinking about doing a rule break later for Jamie.

"With the couples seeming to form deeper bonds, it's time to establish how committed to each other you really are," Lana states.

Couples? You are positive you and Jamie are included in it.

"By sending some of you on dates..." Lana continues.

YOU: The question is... Who's going on a date? I would love to go on a date with Jamie.

Now everyone starts to hold their breath again with Lana dragging each piece of information just to torture all of you.

"With new arrivals," Lana finally finishes.

This is not a good time for Lana to intervene, not when you plan on taking things further with Jamie. Also, new arrivals mean that they're not adapted to the rules yet, they'll be uncontrollable, horny babies like... well, everyone here a week ago.

"The first arrival is... Mia," Lana announces.

The guys snickered in joy, excited even just from hearing the girl's name.

"I have given her a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples."

Your mouth hangs open in surprise, you're wrong to underestimate Lana's power and that she owns this game, she's the mastermind.

"She has selected..."

YOU: I hate to think about it but I have an inkling that this Mia girl is going to choose Jamie [leans back on the sofa]

"... Jamie."

The timing is impeccable.

Things are going well between you and Jamie, then Lana, being the girl boss she is, decides to ruin all of that.

You look at Jamie and he looks slightly pleased that he got chosen.

You're spacing out the rest of the time Lana announces another arrival, a boy who chose Laura to be his date.

It's unclear whether you're jealous about him going on another date or you regret holding yourself back from him all these times.

Jamie rubs his hand up and down your arm, briefly kisses your cheek, then says, "You have nothing to worry about."

How come you trust his words when you've witnessed all these bed hoppings and jumping ships happened overnight?

YOU: What Jamie said only makes me even more worried. Lana said it's a test so this Mia girl must be sexy, and speaks three languages or something. You know, like a girl version of Alex.

Maeve is helping you style your hair for tonight.

"How do you feel about Jamie going on a date with someone?" She asks.

You shrug and sigh, sending the powder you're holding flying around your face.

"I just hope she's ugly," you jokingly answer.

"Hate to break the news but I think she's hot and a potential rulebreaker," Maeve decides to pour salt on your wound instead of soothing it.

"It's not that I don't care but I decide not to care," you explain.

You finish your make-up with a setting spray and check yourself again in the mirror, "but you know, deep down, I'm scared, shitless," you admit.

It's getting more nerve-wracking waiting for Jamie to come back from his date. Maeve keeps you occupied with happy thoughts, telling you fun things you can do in Ireland with her.

The other girls low-key comfort you by complimenting your looks. It's a nice gesture except that no one died and you're not in mourning, you just want this to get over with.

Laura is the first one to come back, guiding the new arrival by linking her arm with his.

She introduces Killian around, an Irish man who's just the perfect match for Maeve.

Killian is a great distraction, his accent is attractive and so is his smile. You keep nudging Maeve's elbow to send her hints.

Maeve replies by elbowing your side and you thought she was being playful, then turn your head around to see Jamie has came back from his date.

"Oh shit. She's hot!" Aly exclaims.

You bite your tongue and put your lips together, not wanting to lose your calm easily. There are only two possibilities, Jamie stays with you, or not.

As Jamie pulls you to the make-up room, you know it's time for him to decide.

"How was the date?" You ask with a smile.

"It was nice. We had champagne and fruits and cheeses," he gives you an answer that you don't expect.

You silently gulp air and keep on putting on a smile for him, "Sounds lovely!"

The moment passed in silence is deafening and you need to burst it. You clear your throat and hold the hand on his lap.

"So... are you here to tell me I was right for not worrying you?" You joke.

Jamie awkwardly laughs at your question and that you're right for worrying him. A part of you is in denial that you're not chosen but another part of you decides to shut him out right here, right now.

"I want to tell you that Mia and I... I think we have something going on between us and I want to get to know her more," he slowly explains.

This heart is fickle, you decided not to care but you feel a sting in your chest when he told you that.

"You're saying you chose her?" You ask for confirmation.

Jamie takes your other hand, afraid that you run away before he can explain.

"No, I'm staying with you and openly telling you that at the same time, I want to get to know Mia," he refuses your words when it's exactly what he wants.

Other girls would give him the chance but not with you, if Jamie chose her then he should stay with her. There's no use for you and him to stay together if he wants to get to know someone that isn't you.

"Jamie you can't do that. You either stay with me or be with her, you have to choose!" You insist on him settling on a decision.

YOU: Apparently, Jamie wants to have his cake and eat it too [shakes head]

You get it that Jamie is conflicted because he still likes you but the other girl offers him something that you don't give to him.

"I like you. I still want to be with you," Jamie persists.

His words are not aligned with his action. You shake your head and put his hands away, "it sounds like you're asking me to wait for you while you're getting it on with someone else."

That seems to put the nail in the coffin that he got speechless. The disappointment got to you that you and if you stayed longer, you're afraid you would say something you didn't mean to him.

"You've made your choice, Jamie," you tell him.

YOU: To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. I'm livid, I'm... I was planning to take things further but yeah... [brushes hair to the back] Mia happens.

Can't believe that you'll be the one serving drama tonight.

You stall in the make-up room, not wanting to get to the bedroom yet. You're drying your hair after a shower and sitting there for a minute, just taking everything in and trying to let it go.

Taking a deep breath, you keep a straight face as you push the door into the bedroom and have no choice but to share a bed with Heidi since Maeve is sharing the bed with Killian.

"You alright, babe?" She quietly asks.

You hold your forehead and slump down on the bed, "it's shitty."

She gently squeezes your elbow, "yeah."

You lay down on the bed and avoid the eyes looking back and forth between you and Jamie. You may decide not to care but seeing him sleeping with another girl right in front of your eyes, hurts.

You cover your eyes with your hand and mumble, "I just want to get this day over with."

YOU: Jamie has decided so he has to live with that decision. Good luck, I guess.

If it weren't for her, Jamie would have stayed with you and you wouldn't be waking up to Heidi lowly snoring next to you.

Mia might have seduced him but it wouldn't happen if Jamie remained faithful so you decide to blame him, not her.

This is probably what Maeve felt that day when she cried, defeated, and dejected.

But Jamie has to try harder if he wants to see you cry.

"How are you feeling, sexy?" Maeve asks as she waddles in the swimming pool.

You sit on the edge with your feet dipped in the sun-warm water, "I don't know, really," you shrug.

She holds onto your leg, clinging to it to stay afloat, "You're better than her, trust me, she's not that attractive if you looked at her long enough."

You know that she's not saying that out of spite, she said all that to make you feel better.

"Saying unkind things about her doesn't make me better, Maeve," you tell her with a glare.

"I'm sorry but it's true," she says with a subtle shrug.

YOU: Jamie and I [sighs] We hugged, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together. I don't want to care but the truth is... I care.

The day drags on and you're more than happy to get to your bed except that you're not ready to see Jamie and Mia cuddling on the bed you used to sleep on.

You're hanging out with Maeve in the make-up room while she's braiding your hair to pass the time.

"We can sleep together. I'll just tell Killian—"

"And risks Heidi stealing him from you?" You cut her off with a joke.

Maeve laughs as she tied the end of your hair with an elastic band and fixes the loose hair on the back of your head.

"Enough about me. How about you and Killian?"

Maeve plops down on the chair next to you and takes a hairbrush from the table, slowly combing the end of her hair.

"We chatted a lot but not sure if we have that connection," she answers.

"But don't worry, we're getting along just fine," she assures you in response to your concerned expression.

"Is it perhaps because you haven't moved on from Felix?"

Asking her that is like walking on eggshells and you're doing it carefully. Mostly because Felix confessed that he likes you that making it seems that way to you.

"Oh come on! I've moved past that," she answers while twirling her hair around her fingers.

You consider telling her about Felix's confession that night but it comes to no use, the retreat has come halfway to finish and you're not sure if Felix still likes you.

It's close to lights out and you step into the bedroom with Maeve.

Heidi is already taking half of the bed with her long legs that you have to scoot close to the edge to lie down.

"Goodnight, everyone!" Aly says to everyone in the room and getting sleepy mumbles in return.

YOU: When I think about it, I'm seeing Lana more than my therapist [uneasy smiles]

This is not how you want to start the day.

You don't want to hear what Jamie and Mia did or how they spent $20.000 last night. He probably has pent-up tension and finally got to release it with her.

"You got the watches, man!" Cole is coming at him.

You sit back and watch it from the end of the sofa on how Jamie is trying to explain himself.

"I know you won't believe me but Mia and I, we have a connection," he explains.

"Why not act right and get rewarded?" Cole is jabbing him with words.

"You won't understand," Jamie says with a defeated sigh.

YOU: Maybe that's why I doubted Jamie. I can see it now, the bright side [smirks]

Nothing says a fresh start than doing yoga with Heidi.

Apparently, she is a licensed instructor and you feel a whole lot better after stretching your body to the limit.

You share the shower with Maeve to cut the time and get ready to dress up.

As you're applying your lipstick, Lana chimes in and makes you jolt in your seat.

Maeve's mouth drops open and she stops curling her hair altogether.

"Hello, ladies!"

"Hi, Lana," you nervously answer and push your chair away from the table.

Then she calls your name and you almost choke on air.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm offering the chance to go on a date with Felix " Lana informs out of the blue.

"Me?" You ask in disbelief.

"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks.

You turn to look at Maeve to remind yourself to be a good friend and a good friend avoid hurting her friend's feelings.

"Shouldn't we make them wait for at least 48 hours for an answer, Lana?" You playfully respond.

Maeve kicks your feet under the table, "what are you doing? Say yes!"

"Then how about you?" You blabber, not expecting that she gives you the blessing to go on a date with her former crush.

"What about me?" She asks in pure confusion.

"Don't you like him?"

Maeve excessively sighs, "I told you I've moved on!"

She kicks your feet again, "Hurry! Say yes!"

You turn to look at Lana in her mixed purple-hued lights and hesitate to say yes. Not only it means you have to start it all over again, but also letting yourself open for another heartbreak.

"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks once again.

YOU: I'm not sure if I'm ready to try and restart [sighs]

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taglist: @svintsandghosts @abiaswreck @septicrebel @cursed-mars-bars @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @tangylemonade @bluenights1899 @thisisnotstraight88 @elizalabs3 @avyskai @is2cb97 @simeonswhore @marvelous-llama @linovely @jisungsleftcheek @hanjisbeloved @luvsskzs @knowleeknow @army-stay-noel @djeniryuu @bigsobs4skz @toplinehyunjin @channies-luv @foxinnie8 @biribarabiribbaem @dalamjisung @moasworld @sherryblossom @fawnpeaks @lukeys-giggle @obeythemasters @primoppang @devilsmatches @skz-streamer @freckleboilix @idkluvutellme

#stray kids smut #skz smut #felix smut #felix x reader #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids fanfics #skz fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fics #kpop fanfics #seospicy smut

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1000sunnygo · 7 months ago

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The Rocky Port incident...

...turned out to be another instance of Law meticulously crafting a plan only to shoot himself in the foot, then forming an emergency alliance and somehow turning the tide in his favor. That's incredibly consistent 😭

But now everything makes more sense. It seems Law's intended bargaining chip for becoming a Shichibukai was to hand over a Poneglyph/rubbings to the World Government, and he was accepted not because he submitted 100 hearts of random pirates, but primarily because he played a key role in taking down Ochoku and saving some VIP royalties (also for securing the Poneglyph, I suppose).

According to the translation we have in hand rn, the name of the vessel Law hijacked was "Rocky Port". We know there's a port in Hachinosu with the same name. Maybe it was named after the ship after this incident? (edit: it seems it'd always been a ship and not a port, so, nevermind lol)

But what "important" Poneglyph was there, anyway?

I don't think it's the missing Road Poneglyph. Probably a Rio Poneglyph protected by the resident pirates. I wonder if Law was originally looking for the Road Poneglyph possessed by the man marked by flame, but then changed his target. Curious that he didn't know two of the Road Poneglyphs are possessed by pirates, let alone Kaidou and Linlin..

The chaos that broke out was not part of Law's plan, he was lucky that Blackbeard arrived to join the fun, and they could come to an agreement. Koby, on the other hand, was probably the only marine who agreed to work with the pirates, and thus was able to save the most number of innocent 'Rocky Port' passengers.

I'm pretty sure it was Law who proposed the alliance. Scoring cookie points aside, his conscience surely kicked in. It wasn't his style to drag a ship of innocent civilians to a devil's nest, so he offered to form a pact with the marines to reduce casualty. Without his presence that buffered both sides, a three way alliance wouldn't have been possible.

I had a hunch that Blackbeard and Law might have worked together for some time. But why did Blackbeard need to work with Law? Was Ochoku that strong?

It seems Law didn't know Blackbeard could use two fruits at once (during their flight at Winner island), so Blackbeard likely didn't go all out. Possibly it was of Blackbeard's best interest to secure his victory without greatly damaging the island that he was soon going to rule, so he decided to follow Law's plan. He likely invited Law to his crew too, similar to Kuzan.

In retrospect, it makes sense as to why the alliance with the Straw hats puzzled Law so much, it wasn't because he didn't expect the chaos but because it was entirely different from his previous experience.

I didn't expect the main story the dive deep into Rocky Port incident, it was only a matter of time until we got a short summary. There's enough meat to it to extend it into a short comic, and there's plenty of time in future.

For now, I'm looking forward to the Japanese fanworks flood on Monday 🍿

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the-gateway-to-madness · 1 year ago

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Platonic dynamics I want to see more in the (tiny) Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons fandom:

Jack being like an older brother to Hiccup and sort of seeing an older version of Jamie in him and not scoffing at how nerdy he is ("holy crap you MADE this? Man show me how it works!!")

Rapunzel post-her-movie being all gung-ho and cheery, and Merida trying to get her to stop being so naïve, only for Rapunzel to calmly list all the ways she was betrayed and abused throughout her adventures (and you'd only have to go through the canon events of the movie and show to make this work, btw, girl's been through STUFF) and tells Merida she is upbeat and kind because she chooses to believe that most people are good, because so many people stuck with her through so much and so many people came back to her after betraying her. And Merida is like "well dang ok, wanna learn to shoot a bow"

Jack being calm, responsible, and protective of the others without becoming too angsty in the process- playing harmless little pranks to bring everyone's spirits up, that sort of thing

Merida being annoyed by Jack at first, but it's because she misses her brothers, not because she categorically dislikes the pranks. She tells Jack this and he asks her to join him doing pranks. She has much more fun after this.

Rapunzel is good at many things, but not so much inventing, as we see in TTS; her trying to assist Hiccup and him being good-natured about it but entirely accidentally outclassing her

Jack very deliberately keeping his past and loneliness to himself, and the others figuring out something's off because they never catch him sleeping, he's pensive when he's not interacting with them, he's got such wide and extensive experience, and he starts admitting bits and pieces like "I'm older than I look" etc etc

Jack never openly getting angry with the kids because they're kids and he's a Guardian, so instead when one of them is upset or trying to pick a fight with him, his staff will glow brighter or it'll get cloudier or windier or snowier- his magic responds, but Jack refuses to, making his calm all the more scary.

Jack being the first to realize Rapunzel has been through Stuff and sitting down with her when the other two are asleep "what happened to you?" entirely gently and patiently because HE'S A GOOD BIG BROTHER DANGIT I WANT THIS SIDE OF HIM TO SHOW MORE-

Hiccup worrying/getting upset/doing that I Have To Stand Alone thing and Rapunzel approaching him like "you're not the only one who grew up alone, you know. It's okay to rely on us, we won't let you down"

Hiccup doing the I Have To Stand Alone thing in general cause I don't see that a lot in crossovers or at least the arts

The others finding Jack in weird places because super-balance go brr

Jack being reluctant to touch any of the kids for any reason because he doesn't want to see the way they treat him change once they realize how cold and inhuman he really is

Merida recognizing Jack immediately as the only other obviously competent fighter by the way he moves (she was raised around all manner of warriors and guards, after all) and immediately setting about allying herself with him because Heaven knows they all need as much protection as they can get

Merida helping Hiccup to have a moment like he has in the HTTYD books where he realizes he's actually a really amazing swordfighter when he actually uses his dominant hand

Hiccup and Rapunzel asking Merida and Jack what siblings are like

Jack just treating them all like his little siblings

Jack and Merida gathering ingredients together and, depending on the region, Jack teaching Merida the safe local vegetation and herbs because he's been everywhere. Also, Jack teaching the others how to cook with local ingredients

Jack knowing a lot about herbal medicine and helping and teaching the others

After much internal deliberation, Jack choosing Hiccup to hold his staff while he takes care of two-handed tasks

Jack knowing how to style hair because of Mary, and he and Merida helping Rapunzel tame her hair

#rise of the guardians #rotg #jack frost #rotg jack frost #tangled #tangled rapunzel #tangled the series #brave #pixar brave #brave merida #how to train your dragon #hiccup horrendous haddock iii

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tayraedoll · 7 months ago

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Chivalry Is Alive and Well in Hell

Welcome to part 3 of Old Man!

Part 1 Part 2

TW: Swearing, fluff, mature themes

Word Count: 1,675

You feel your mind start to reach consciousness before your physical body. You feel like you are floating, time and space mean nothing in this zone. Slowly, the outside world begins to register to you, and it is less than fucking pleasant.

Your entire body hurt like hell- your skin feels like it is on fire, your joints feel like they were stretched in a medieval torture device, your throat was raw and dry, and it felt like you have not had any food for weeks. With an undignified groan you stretch out, wincing as your nerves shoot lighting bolts through your sore muscles. What the fuck happened to you? Were you hit by a train?

Suddenly, your memories wash over you and your eyes shoot open. Oh yea, Conductor Alastor was at the controls, and you rode that crazy train for 72.FUCKING.HOURS.

You look around, you were alone in bed; Alastor's side was cold letting you know he has been up for awhile. The bed itself was a disaster. The sheets were ripped and torn, the pieces chaotically strewn around the mattress. Both yourself and the bed were covered in sweat, blood, slick, and cum- the mixture dry and clinging to your skin uncomfortably. You bring an arm up to your face and take a whiff, recoiling immediately at the atrocious way you smelled and wrinkling your nose. Disgusting, a shower was definitely first on the agenda. But before that, where was the man responsible for this mess?

As if answering your unspoken question, Alastor suddenly appeared next to the bed. "Ah Darling, there you are! I was wondering how long you would sleep for", he gives you a wide grin. "How are you feeling Ma Biche?"

You take a moment to look him over, he was as pristine and put-together as ever. He was freshly showered, no bodily fluids covering him at all, his hair neatly styled, and his perfect, red suit pressed neatly over his form. Not a single trace of evidence of the last 3 days was anywhere to be found on him. Worse yet, his movements were as lithe and graceful as a panther's, no hint of any bodily soreness in his gait. It all left you feeling extremely self-conscious and rather inferior. You grab a scrap of a blanket and bring it up to your chest in an attempt to hide yourself and throw a glare at his perfect form. "Everything hurts, and I'm pretty sure I am dying." He wouldn't get the reference but you did not care, it fit your mood too well. "How long was I out for? You look...well.", you narrow your eyes at him.

He chuckles, his microphone playing an upbeat jazz tune, his whole demeanor was light-hearted. "You have been asleep for about 24 hours." Your jaw drops, "24 hours?! Why the fuck didn't you wake me up Al?!"

He reaches down and wraps his hand around your wrist, bringing it up to his lips to plant a tender kiss on the back of your hand. "You needed your rest Sha. Your first mating session took a lot out of you."

You look down, there was a tenderness in his eyes that tugged at your heart and you were not ready to not be annoyed with him. "And what about you?", you ask, subtly accusing him of leaving and making you wake up alone after all you two did together.

"I do not require the same amount of rest as you do. Additionally, I had to reassure our companions that we did not run off after our inexplicable absences the past few days. I do believe our resident fallen angel still thinks I have consumed you", he laughs at the last sentence. "Well, I suppose I have, just not in the way she is thinking", his eyes trail over your arms and throat, cataloging every scratch, hickey, and bite. Without warning, he swoops down and scoops you up into his arms.

"What are you doing?! Put me down!", you screech. Not only were you still a little annoyed with him, but you did not want him to smell you at the moment!

He just laughs, still in a good mood, and begins whistling as he enters his bathroom. He sets you down on the counter and gives you a curt "stay" command that you roll your eyes at- you are not a dog!- but you stay there anyways, fearing that your legs would buckle under you again if you tried to stand.

You watch as he collects things from various cupboards and drawers before turning to his huge bathtub. He turns the water on and dips various liquids into the tub as it filled. The warm steam felt amazing, the scents of lavender and eucalyptus reached your nose and you sighed. He finishes the bath off with a bright pink bath bomb, the fizzing sound it made so satisfying to your ears. Alastor then turns back to you, scooping you into his arms again before gently lowering you into the hot water. You wince and let out a hiss as the water makes every mark on your body sing momentarily. But you are soon able to relax and lean back, enjoying the sense of calm that envelops you. You close your eyes and let out a contented sigh.

You hear the rustle of fabric beside the tub and peep one eye open, seeing Alastor place his jacket neatly on the countertop you were just perched on. He rolls up the sleeves of his crimson dress shirt to his elbows and grabs a small pitcher before settling on the floor next to the tub. He places a hand on your shoulder and directs you to sit up slightly before placing a finger under your chin and tipping your head back. He dipped the pitcher into the water and poured it over your hair, using his free hand to run his fingers through it to make sure he wet every strand.

"What are you doing?", you asked as he lathered shampoo between his hands.

"Upholding my end of our deal My Doe," he explained as he scrubbed the shampoo over your head, carefully using his claws to scratch the base of your skull. Gentle jazz filled the room at a low volume, just barely loud enough to hear, furthering the relaxing ambiance.

When he began combing the conditioner through your hair you side-eyed him. "I do not remember bathing me being a part of our deal. I assure you I am perfectly capable of doing this myself Al."

"If I remember correctly, I said I would protect and love you with all I am. I am simply looking after your well-being, it is not an attack on your independence. I feel better when I can take care of you the way a man should take care of his lady. I believe we have had this conversation about men no longer being chivalrous before." He picked up a fresh sponge and began rubbing it in small circles down each arm, careful not to hurt your healing flesh. Then he gently turned you by your shoulders to face away from him as he ran the sponge down your back.

"I really think you are a rare breed. I doubt all the men from your time did this. They may have been chivalrous in public- but how many of them turned into completely different people behind closed doors alone with their wives? You are probably one of only a handful of men in history to act as servant to their partner." He turned you back around to face him, moving the sponge down you chest and abdomen, working his way down to your legs.

"Isn't that the foundation of love Darling? To provide for another's needs? To serve them?" When he was satisfied that you were clean he reached for a towel, beckoned you to step out of the tub as he pulled the drain, and wrapped you up burrito-style. It felt as if he had just taken the towel out of the dryer it was so warm. "I promise to treat you the way my mother would want me to treat you." Alastor said that last part so softly, you were sure you were not meant to hear it, the only reason you heard it was because of your ultra sensitive doe ears. He hardly ever spoke of his life, he would really only talk about his mother when he would cook you a dish she had taught him how to make. You hoped that this small admission would open the door to more intimate discussions about his past. For now, you would not press him.

You leaned up onto your tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Well, I am glad my old geezer has held onto his old-fashioned chivalry", you smirked up at him devilishly.

"Oh, we are reverting back to our ageist feud now are we Fawn?"

You gave him a shrug. "So, that was mating season huh? So what do we do the rest of the year until your refractory period ends?" you wink and laugh at your own joke.

Alastor's eyes flash menacingly, his smile turning more Cheshire before responding "Oh it's not over yet Little Doe."

Your own smile fell, "Er..what? But we did it, for the entire 72 hours!"

The demon buck stalked towards you, backing you up into the bathroom vanity, placing his hands on the counter on either side of you to cage you in against him. "You are but sated for now Darling. But does are polyestrous creatures. I suspect you will have at least one, if not two more heat cycles before the mating season is up."

Your eyes grew wide and you let out an incredulous laugh, whispering under your breath "Oh fuck me!"

Alastor let out a sinister laugh of his own, eyes turning to radio dials and antlers sprouting out from his head,"Trust me my doe, you will be. THOROUGHLY."

The end! Hope you enjoyed it!

@stattikdemon

@vxllys

@sirens-and-moonflowers

@lady-intellectual

@shealizxx

@cryssyd

#hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #alastor fluff

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shiani25 · 2 months ago

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I really love the stories and artwork here. I'm curious, could you write a story with Starscream getting a new pair job just to piss off Megatron, but not "Oh I don't like it" but more "WHY ARE YOU NEON PINK"? Everyone knows it's revenge to piss of Megatron and even Knockout was surprised he would go that far, especially knowing how hard neon colors are.

"The Neon Menace"

Starscream had had it.

This was unacceptable.

It had been three days.

Three!

And Megatron had not noticed his new paint job.

Starscream had been subtle about it at first.

A tiny shift in the hue of his plating. A bit of polish. A slight enhancement to make himself look sleek and refined—like the second-in-command of the mighty Decepticon army should.

And Megatron?

Hadn’t even looked at him.

It was his job to notice!

That was what mates were for. To complement him. To admire. To worship his beauty!

And yet!

Nothing.

Not even a glance.

So Starscream did what any reasonable bot would do.

He doubled down.

The next day, he went bolder.

Polished his wings to super shiny, if the light was in a right position he could blind someone with them. Added a subtle (but very expensive) shimmer to his finish. Enhanced the red tones to really pop against the silver.

And still.

Nothing.

"Fine!" Starscream seethed. "If he doesn’t notice this time—"

A wild, desperate thought entered his mind.

Something Megatron couldn’t possibly ignore.

The next time he strutted into the Nemesis’s war room, he was a blazing neon pink.

A color so unnatural, so obnoxiously bright, it made Knockout wince.

And that was saying something.

"Starscream," Megatron’s voice was strained. "What in pit… have you done?"

Starscream smirked, crossing his arms. "Oh? So you did notice? How fascinating—considering you were blind to my previous changes."

Megatron just stared.

Not in awe. Not in admiration.

Not in any sort of reaction that Starscream had wanted.

Just… blank, horrified silence.

And then—

"Fix it."

Starscream scoffed. "Oh? You don’t like it?"

Megatron pinched the bridge of his nose. "Starscream. You look like a fragging target."

"I look fabulous," Starscream corrected, flipping a wing dramatically. "This is style, Megatron. Something you clearly wouldn’t—"

"You are a neon beacon," Megatron snarled. "You might as well paint a bullseye on your wings and scream ‘shoot me!’ to the Autobots!"

Starscream froze.

The battlefield.

His perfectly streamlined colors had always been useful in the air, blending him in with Cybertron’s skies or Earth’s storms.

But this?

This was…

A death sentence.

Slag!

Starscream clenched his fists. "Well, I—" He straightened. "I don’t need your approval, Megatron! I can be both stylish and deadly!"

Megatron was already waving him off. "Go fix it before I have you shot down myself."

Starscream bolted to Knockout.

Knockout, who had already heard the entire fiasco through the ship’s comms, was barely containing his laughter.

"I have to say, Screamer," Knockout smirked, giving him a slow, dramatic once-over. "This is… a bold look for you."

"Enough!" Starscream hissed. "Fix it."

Knockout sighed theatrically. "Oh, now you want me to fix it? You seemed so proud of it earlier."

"Knockout!"

"Fine, fine," Knockout snickered, grabbing his equipment. "Let’s see what we’re working with—"

And then—

He froze.

"Uh… Starscream."

Starscream’s wings twitched. "What?"

Knockout tapped a finger against his plating. "What… exactly did you use to repaint yourself?"

Starscream frowned. "Some extra supplies from storage. Why?"

Knockout was quiet for a long moment.

Then he exhaled.

"You used permanent industrial-grade coating. It’s embedded into your plating."

Starscream froze.

"…What."*

"It’s… deep," Knockout hummed, inspecting further. "It’s embedded into your plating. If I try to paint over it, it’s just going to bleed through."

Starscream felt his vents stutter.

"No..."

Knockout patted his wing. "Yes."

"No, no, no—this cannot be happening!" Starscream screeched. "Knockout, you have to fix it! You must—"

Knockout laughed. "Oh, now it’s a problem? But it was so fabulous a moment ago."

"KNOCKOUT!"

#starscream #megatron #transformers #decepticons #transformers prime #knockout #tfp #megastar #request #maccadam #ai artwork

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in-halingstardust · 2 years ago

Text

Civility in the bedroom

A/N: With the new chapter out, there are a lot of theories between Dan Heng and Blade- !spoilermaybe Its the fuckin Untamed Mihoyo style. So let's put reader right in the middle... Dan Heng x f!reader x Blade Tags: !mdni, threesome, exhbitionism?, jealousy turned to quite literally 'turned on', dan heng and reader are a couple and are completly for this shhhh.

Blade wants to take everything away from Dan Heng.

His soft smile, shared only between close companions. The soft, innocent colors in his eyes. And something that was undeniably his, you.

Right in front of him.

You've leaned over Dan Heng. Caging him in underneath you as you can barely support yourself as Blade thrusts into you like a machine.

When you're on top of Dan Heng, arms barely supporting yourself as Dan Heng tightly grips your hips thrusting into you - no more than that, reaching every crevice inside of you with the force of a monster- your tits bob back and forward inches away from Dan Heng's face as you lose yourself.

It's almost too much until you feel the touch of heat on your breasts. And it was hot- god damnit- the way Dan Heng's mouth was slightly open, pink tongue darting out to lick hard nipples waving in front of his face.

Blade chuckles as he gropes your chest lifting you against his chest, thrusting in vigor into you. He feels so good- you can feel how deeply his dick is hitting inside of you. If you were to look down- was that a tiny bump moving up and down inside of you?

You throw your head back against Blade's chest, the organism coming quickly at the thought. You feel Blade enter your mouth, fingers pressing down on your tongue, drool leaking from the sides as he explores.

He whispers to you, "Now- why don't we give him a show?"

His other hand steadies you as he thrust in deeper than you could imagine. You can feel him everywhere and much closer than the other position. Blade is letting drool drip down your chin onto your chest intermingling with the wet tips Dan Heng left in his hunger.

Your mind flickers back to him and you look down and god- you can't take any more of this. He was looking at you like some ethereal being. The way his eyes followed your breasts up and down. The way he bit his lip wanting to kiss you or eat you out was a matter entirely up to him.

It was too much, the way Blade moved his hand downwards twisting and pulling perky, swollen nipples till you mewed out Dan Heng's mouth open with undeniable lust.

You were close so close, the way you fluttered around his Blade's massive cock inside of you he can tell also. He grunts his thrust quicken and oh right there that feels like where the stars are colliding inside of you.

All you hear is a faint whisper- a mock that had the same breathiness as you, "Make sure to scream."

Curving your back against pleasure, it was almost too easy to let out the loudest moan as you cum when Blade is ruining you quite literally in front of Dan Heng. Hot white shoots through you as your body convulses in waves of pleasure. You feel Blade slip out to rub his cock against your ass. Hot cum comes out in bursts along your back intermingling with sweat.

He lets go and your body rolls into Dan Heng's side where you curl your chin into his shoulders as he rubs a hand against your back. Your thigh is sprawled across his body and you can feel his hard erection pocking against soft flesh, ready for you.

…ready for you both?

Pressing your thigh against Dan Heng he lets out a small whimper and you know he wants this too as you kiss him on the cheek gently. Enough to say 'I'm here with you,' and another to convey 'I'll take care of you.'

You twist your head, enough to see through the hair that was sticking against your face to look at Blade, to see if he got what he wanted. To ruin Dan Heng by ruining you. Dark ebony contrasted the obvious red on his ear tips, his bare chest heaving up and down as he looked at you both with red eyes with emotion swirling through him. It was like spark starting to engulf a forest, quickly, too fast to understand what they were starting.

You didn't want to think anymore about them and you here.

You wanted another round and then later- you three can be civil about your feelings.

#honkai star rail smut #hsr x reader #hsr smut #dan heng smut #blade smut #dan heng x reader #blade x reader #reader insert #please can you just imagine who has the upper hand in this #spoiler its you

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askoverkill · 16 hours ago

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entirely unrelated to this but i was going to run my own AU thing in a similar style to yours, with asks giving input, but my AU actually has... combat. and i was wondering if you would have any suggestion as to how i would handle that to be the right balance of not-tedious (actually a little tedious it IS isat) but also not-nonexistent

// awesome! I love to hear people are making more projects. We need more works in the world. I hope you have fun 💖

// firstly, I want to talk about interaction. Using online feedback as a feature in the story has its ups and downs. The best advice I can give is tell the story YOU want to tell first most.

// If you need to send your own asks or post as a post instead, do so! It's super cool to get people to be creative and push the story in ways you'd never expect, it's rewarding and creative for both sides in the collaboration BUT ultimately, you are the director of the story.

// try to give every post a purpose. If you can fit more than one, the better. Does the post have a joke? Is it progressing the plot? Is there a fun character interaction? If it doesn't have anything, rethink your approach to it. Sometimes a post HAS to be set up for a later scene, but try to make it entertaining or introspective or something in addition.

(I'm struggling with this as we repeat plot beats. As a timeloop story, repetition is necessary to give what DOES change have importance. I'm still figuring out what's the best approach and how much to change each loop.)

Formatting: find a work flow that works best for you! I'm used to boring repetition and edits so Im fine making my blog so image heavy like this. Text works fine!!!! What matters the most is readability and your convince! Stories are already a LOT of work, don't give yourself anything more than necessary!

// PACE yourself. It's not a contest and you are doing this for free and for fun. If you're not feeling up to it, don't make anything. Breaks are a part of the process. I'm mega ADHD hyperfixating distraction coping and I AM NOT a good example of productivity. Don't judge yourself for your output. Focus on having fun and interacting with others.

// OK General askblog advice aside, now to focus on your actual question. It'd really depend on what you're comfortable with and the level of interaction you want for the story.

// it's important to remember this is a completely different format and medium than a video game. If you tried to make it into a video game you're going to fail. A fight in-game will have a hundred little inputs within minutes while an askblog takes IRL time between posts and asks.

// Polls have a minimum of 24 hours so they're a bit inconvenient for quick engagement like with askblogs let alone fights! If you really need fights, then simplify a single turn into an ask? A whole fight? Maybe spin a wheel or flip a coin? Maybe, since it's an ask format, have fans suggest outcomes and pick what's the most entertaining?

// alternatively, skip combat and just have it happen between posts. You've got a ton of options, and I'm sure there's way more I hadn't considered.

// work with what you've got and don't be afraid to simplify or ask for more advice. If anyone else has suggestions, feel free to shoot some here! Best wishes! 👌

#ooc

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in-another-april · 1 year ago

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summary/prompt + genre - just a few hcs about living together with spencer | fluff

warnings - mentions of food

wc - 385

notes - hehe i'm so normal about him *eye twitch* i have more but i didn't wanna overdo it soo lemme know if i should post the part 2

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

- He’s pretty tidy overall, but he does have his things. Namely, the books. You’ve run out of space for yet another bookshelf, but his collection just keeps growing, so now they’re Everywhere. Every time you sit on the couch there’s something jabbing into your back and you just sigh and shoot him a lighthearted glare as you pull out his 3rd copy of The Illustrated Man from behind the pillow.

- His side of the closet is also a mess, especially the sock drawer, but he knows exactly where everything is and is surprisingly particular about his clothes. You ask if you can borrow his green sweater and he’s like “Which green, army, moss, or olive?” while you’re just ???? at him.

- He is absolutely obsessed with anything combining his two favorite things (you and books) whether its him reading to you, you reading to him, reading the same novel and discussing it book-club style, or just being in your general vicinity while he reads by himself.

- Speaking of general vicinity, he’s a sucker for parallel play. As much as he loves talking and interacting with you, he really enjoys the comfortable silence of being around you while you do your separate things.

- Stares at you with the sappiest heart-eyes no matter what you’re doing. You could be just folding laundry and he’s looking at you like you’re the only person in the entire world. Even if you’ve been together for years, he’s still enamored with you like a teenager with a crush.

- He cannot cook to save his life. He knows the processes and methods of cooking in theory, and can easily recite the history of practically any dish, but once he’s actually trying to make something he’s lost. He still wants to make food for you, though, so he practices up on a couple of meals he knows you like so he can surprise you with them after a long day.

- On his days off, he gets really into making elaborate coffees. The coffee from whichever local police precincts he’s working a case with is normally watered down and bitter regardless of how much sugar he adds to it, so he starts to appreciate the coffee from home a lot more and makes a whole thing of it every morning. You get him one of those fancy Keurig’s that makes espresso shots and has a milk frother and he almost cries.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #x reader #reid x reader

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nebrasska-alasska · 1 month ago

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HEYA!!! First of all, I absolutely LOVE all of your work! Read all of your fics, and your writing is incredible. You are by far my favourite Sonic writer!!!! Please keep up the good work, and make sure to not stress yourself out in the process 🥹💞💞

How does it feel like to know that your movie Sonadow fic is, like, ABOUT to become the top 1 fic (kudos vise) in the entire Sonic fandom? Does it make you feel nervous? Excited? I am very curious. Congratulations, by the way!! <3

Thank you!!! I'm not going to lie, it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach LMAO especially since this is a story that I haven't been taking all that seriously. It's just been me goofing off and shooting the shit with an experimental writing style, so the fact that it became so popular is shocking, to say the least!

And it also means that I really need to sit down and give this thing a very deep edit lol.... Truly did not intend for this work to have so many eyes on it, so now I've gotta smack it around into something a bit more presentable LMFAO Usually I like to do a full reread of my long fics every few chapters that I publish, but I haven't been able to do that in a hot second due to time constraints. So the minute I finish it, it's time for a good old-fashioned comb-through!

But truly, thank you for the congratulations!!! Your words are so incredibly kind and bring me so much joy, I am so happy that you have enjoyed this story (and my other works) so much!!!

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airenyah · 5 months ago

Text

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 4

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

Hiii, I'm back at it again <3

I'm not gonna write a proper introduction this time around. You know the drill. Enjoy!

(And if you're new here, feel free to check out my posts on the other episodes linked above first.)

Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. Just like in ep3, I won't do that in ep4 either because Fadel and Style consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.

To recap: Last time we saw Style, he had just been left lying on the cold hard ground with a punch to the gut after having hooked up with Fadel in a random storage room. Just like at the end of ep2, at the end of ep3 they did not part on the best of terms either.

No. 1: Blissful Dreams

Even though the hook-up ended rather painfully for Style, and even though the hook-up itself may not have been quite what Style dreamed of, it's still left quite a mark on him. So much so, that he even dreams about it that night. So much so, that this dream even affects him in real life the next morning.

"Crap," Style swears. This wasn't the plan. Style may have a bit of a problem now. And over the course of this episode we'll find out just how much of a problem Style actually has now, because the dream hasn't only affected him physically, but the reality that inspired the dream has also affected him emotionally.

No. 2: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

The majority of the interactions Style has had with Fadel so far have ended with Fadel either forcing Style to leave (even to the point of physically dragging him away) or with Fadel abandoning Style. Even if from Style's perspective it may not seem like his actions have much of a positive effect on Fadel, I think deep down he does sense that he's managing to worm his way into Fadel's life after all. In any case, Style is not giving up no matter how many times Fadel will ditch him. However, since none of the strategies he's tried so far have seemed to really bear fruit, he now changes course again: disappear for a bit, so that he'll miss you. This strategy works exceptionally well, but Style won't know about it until about two thirds into the episode.

No. 3: Blue-Balled

Despite his resolution to stay away from Fadel to make him miss him, Style fails to hold out for long and is back rather sooner than later. As @secriden points out, Style "comes running to Fadel the second he hears about Fadel asking about him" (quoted from @secriden). Style even explicitly says that he hadn't planned on stopping by, but then "some auntie told me someone asked about me". Style has tried out a new strategy that he hasn't gone with before, learned that it actually did have some sort of affect on Fadel, and immediately rushes to confirm this for himself. Within the first 30 seconds (20 seconds, to be exact!) of Style entering the kitchen he asks Fadel twice if Fadel has missed him. It's literally the second and the fifth sentence out of his mouth when he shows up. This is important info to Style, he needs to know if Fadel has missed him and he needs to know immediately. Style has already started to develop positive feelings towards Fadel over the course of episode 3 and their little storage room fling has influenced that development even more. Style needs to know if Fadel feels the same way. In fact, he downright assumes that Fadel feels the same way: it's in the way he is so satisfied and smug when he walks through the door. Style is very happy about this.

Fadel, however, shoots him down. Style's smile fades, but I don't think it's necessarily because he's hurt or disappointed or wasn't expecting this reaction. No, Fadel has reacted like this to about 90% of the things Style has said to him the entire time they've known each other. Style backs up a bit, but the way he looks at Fadel seems curious, like he's searching for something, like there is a question on his mind. Why does he STILL keep insisting like this, why does he STILL go for rejection when evidence points to the opposite?

Reminder: Last time the two of them saw each other, Style was way out of line and Fadel ended up punching him. Style was also quite upset that Fadel would sleep with him and immediately ditch him. In their last meeting, they didn't part on the best of terms.

So Fadel claims he didn't miss Style (despite evidence saying otherwise) and that Style annoys him because he messes up Fadel's routine and Style thinks about it for a moment, contemplates what Fadel's problem could be with him this time that could make him act like that and then comes to a conclusion as to what it might be:

He lets Fadel know that he's not angry at him for what happened the night before. When Style says "I was asking for it", I'm not entirely convinced he's referring to his unserious behavior at the group meeting. I'm not sure he's actually realized that his behavior was disrespectful. After all, he was "rewarded" with sex for it. Plus, the next thing he says is: "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are". I think this refers to their confrontation and verbal exchange right around Fadel punching Style. I already touched on Style not being scared of Fadel in my ep 3 meta:

Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. [...] When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he [...] is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. [...] It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat.

(Bolded for emphasis)

Style was very fearless the night before, which is why I think when Style says "I was asking for it" he's referring specifically to how Fadel was threatening him and how Style put up a fight in response. He "was asking for it", because he didn't move out of Fadel's way despite Fadel making it very clear what the consequences of Style's stubbornness would be. Fadel got scary in their last meeting, and now Style tells him "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I’m hooked". While in episode 3 the "I'm not scared of you" was implicit in his actions, Style now tells him explicitly in words.

If you've read my episode 3 meta, you'll know that a running theme throughout the entire post ended up being the question of whether Style really meant all the things he said (esp the flirty things) or if it was all just empty words. Here in the kitchen? Style means every single word, every flirty sentence that he utters. In episode 3, when he bugs Fadel at the running track or when he tells Fadel that he likes and wants him right before they hook up at the end of the episode, there is such an air of loudness to his demeanor. In contrast, when Style tells Fadel "I'm hooked" and asks him what he has to do to win him over, there is much more tranquility to it. Even his voice is calmer, there is no trace of his usual dramatic flair. Style is much more grounded here compared to some of his flirting (attempts) in previous episodes.

Style is being serious when he says "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I’m hooked", he really means it. But Fadel only looks at him for a moment, squints his eyes briefly, and wordlessly directs his focus back on his herbs, signaling to Style Yeah sure whatever, I don't care, you're a burden and an inconvenience to me. This is yet another very predictable reaction and Style isn't surprised by it, but he's definitely a little annoyed now that he's still not getting through to Fadel, that Fadel still won't admit that he does want Style around and has started taking a liking to him. So Style leans closer to Fadel again and asks what it will take for Style to win him over. Again, Style is being serious about it, his usual over the top flair is missing. He isn't doing this for show, he's not playing anything up because someone else asked him to or because he'll gain something out of it. Style is asking because he genuinely wants to know for no one but himself. Style genuinely cares now.

But Fadel tells Style to fuck off. Not literally, of course (his actual words are "Get out of my face"), but "fuck off" is certainly the subtext of it. And that subtext reaches Style clear as day. Instead of following Fadel's order, he's gonna be a little shit about it now.

"Fuck", you say? Gladly. Malicious compliance with the subtext. Style walks around the table. "I know a guy like you just needs a little nudge."

Again, this time around I do think Style means all the flirty shit that he says. It's in the way his tone is much more calm and quiet and how everything he says is much more deliberate, much more calculated. It's a similar vibe to that time in the gym when he told Fadel to call him any time if he needed a spotter, which, if you've read my first meta post of this series, is a scene you'll know I've determined to be the first time Style genuinely flirts with Fadel for the purpose of flirting and not for any other motivations such as revenge. And now here in the kitchen he's also flirting for the purpose of flirting again. His words aren't just empty words.

Another way we can tell that Style genuinely wants to get into Fadel's pants right there and then is by the way he gets handsy. In episode 3 he doesn't really touch Fadel when he spouts all the sexual innuendos at him at the running track. The only time Style touches him in that scene is when he squeezes Fadel's man boob in order to emphasize the word "heart". Or in the storage room, even though he claims to want Fadel, Style doesn't touch Fadel either during that entire conversation before they get it going. In fact, the only time he touches Fadel before Fadel starts kissing him is to remove Fadel's hand from him. In contrast, the sauna scene in episode 2 showed us that when Style actually, genuinely wants to sleep with Fadel, he'll start touching Fadel in suggestive places, will even go as far as shamelessly stick his hands down Fadel's pants (or, uh, towel in that case). And even though he didn't exactly get handsy with Fadel at the work-out bench, despite my claims of this interaction being the very first time he genuinely flirts with Fadel, well... Style may have not been handsy, but he sure got kneely:

In the kitchen in episode 4 every flirty thing Style says is an attempt at getting into Fadel's pants again (Oh, how very much the storage room fling has left its mark on Style!). Style genuinely wants this, genuinely wants him. Every single one of Style's actions underlines that as well. And then Fadel actually maneuvers him onto the kitchen table. Style is elated.

At this point I want to once again take a little detour to @clemelntine's meta on each of the boys' sexual fantasies of one other and what that means for the storage room hook-up. If you remember, she writes:

No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.

Not only do we see this play out in the storage room in the way Style gladly gives Fadel full control over his body, but we see this pattern continue in the kitchen. Style is very proactive in showing just how much he wants to get into Fadel's pants but the moment Fadel seemingly folds and goes along with it, Style lets Fadel put him on the kitchen table with no resistance whatsoever and eagerly awaits whatever Fadel has in store for him this time, letting Fadel have full control over the situation and his body again.

Whenever Fadel has blocked or rejected or ignored Style in this scene so far, it has not come as a surprise to Style a single time. This is what Fadel does. Style is used to it. It might annoy or disgruntle him at times, but overall he is used to it. But when Fadel drops "You won’t ever get what you want" and leaves him hanging? This time around it hits Style completely out of left field. Style was so caught up in his euphoria, that he didn't see this coming at all (unlike me, the audience, who was just sitting there going "ohh shit oh damn this is gonna be another fake-out" the moment Fadel grabbed Style's waist and turned him towards the table dfjkdf). After all, Fadel did sleep with him the night before, and so Style probably completely forgot that Fadel could dump him at any moment. In fact, he was probably confident that Fadel sleeping with him the night before and now asking about him at the market when Style failed to show up were signs that Fadel had started to develop feelings for him as well. And if Fadel has feelings for him now, then he would likely also want this, so why would Fadel ditch him? But Fadel does. Style is angry and he's hurt and he's disappointed, but Fadel's rejection hits him so much out of nowhere that I think he actually takes a while to process what has just happened and how to feel about it and how to react. Usually in situations like this, Style will put up a fight with Fadel until one of them wins, but this time around he is so stupefied that he immediately moves towards the door when Fadel shoves him towards it without firmly standing his ground and fighting Fadel about it first. Style does yell at Fadel that he won't let Fadel ditch him and when Fadel comes at him again, just for a short moment Style is about to stand his ground, but then Style shoves him away and leaves the kitchen angrily, instead of fighting him.

While I do think Style is hurt by Fadel's actions, I think anger and shock are his leading emotions here as he storms off. I think the hurt only really properly starts coming out and taking over once Style's shock has worn off and he's processed the situation.

No. 4: OnlyFans

The immediate shock of the situation has now worn off, Style has had a little time to process and now he's ready to fight again. There is still so much anger in Style, but now we can also see just how hurt he actually is. This is even more evident when we go back to episodes 1 and 2 where we've seen this whole thing play out before: Fadel humiliates Style in private and Style retaliates by humiliating Fadel in public. Fadel drags Style out of the diner by his feet in the privacy of the closed restaurant. Style yells at him in front of everyone at a busy market place in return. Fadel leaves Style hanging in the privacy of the diner kitchen whose only staff is Fadel himself. Style yells at him in front of every customer at the restaurant in return.

When Fadel drags Style out of the restaurant in episode 1, Style is of course angry and humiliated. And sure, it did hurt his pride, but it's mostly just that. Fadel, at this point, is mostly just some weird, grumpy dude to him that he has now been hired to hit on. Back then Style wasn't expecting that fake-out either, but it doesn't leave him as stunned as it did this time in the kitchen. In episode 1, he even tries to fight Fadel. He can't do much while he's being pulled along the floor, but as soon as Style is back on his feet he immediately starts raging at the door, pulling at the handles and banging at it. In the kitchen, Style is too stunned to put up a fight and actively runs away instead of fighting Fadel.

When Style yells at Fadel in the market place, while it comes from a place of revenge it's still something he does for show. His words are loud and dramatic and they're for everyone around them to hear more than they are for Fadel himself. It's all a public performance to Style. And the audience is everyone at the market. It's about making everyone see how "bad" of a guy Fadel is and it doesn't really matter whether Fadel is listening to his words or not as long as his words reach his true audience and they believe him. Style is clearly having fun yelling at Fadel while also using the chance to blow off some steam from his previous annoyances with Fadel. When Fadel yields, Style immediately lets it go and chills again.

When Style yells at Fadel at the diner, he's once again causing a scene in public, but this time his words are for Fadel to hear, not for the strangers around them. The fact that there's strangers around them is just a welcome bonus and I think in that moment Style doesn't even really care if any of them are actually listening in or not, as long as his words reach Fadel. Style's voice is sharp as a knife, sharper than we've ever heard it before, and every sentence he utters is a stab at Fadel. When Fadel hands him the apron and tells him to leave, Style agrees, but he speaks out a warning first ("But just keep in mind: Nobody gets to nail and bail me."). His fighting spirit has come back, and when Fadel launches a counterattack ("I’ll be the first"), Style does not back down this time around like he did earlier in the kitchen. It's Fadel who walks away this time and Style reminds him that he'll continue to fight him ("A guy like Style won’t back down"). It's only when he walks out of the restaurant that he turns his argument with Fadel into an actual public performance. It's only when he invites everyone at the restaurant to take pictures of him that his words are for show and for his audience to hear.

We've just watched a situation that we've seen before play out but this time around it's very different. Because this time around Fadel actually means something to Style. And this time around Style has already slept with Fadel, which also meant something to him. I'm not entirely sure Style has quite figured out what exactly it all means to him and I also don't think he's head over heels in love with Fadel yet, but he sure is starting to have many emotions. While Style was also enraged back in episode 1 after Fadel dragged him out of the diner, his anger has leveled up now because this time around, underneath all of that anger, Style is also very hurt. They were starting to make progress and Style even got to celebrate small victories along the way (Fadel making him a burger, Fadel actually sleeping with him, Fadel asking about his whereabouts). Style was starting to get somewhere with Fadel, was slowly starting to develop some feelings of his own for Fadel, and Fadel just goes and kicks down Style's sandcastle. What's more, Style has made it very clear to Fadel how he feels about getting nailed and bailed, and then Fadel just goes and does it on purpose.

Style is so angry and hurt that this time around just one public yelling isn't enough. This time he goes for a round 2.

No. 5: A Ruined Man

Style is back at the support group. This time it's not to find out more about Fadel's backstory, this time he is here because he has a message for Fadel. And this time Style's distress isn't cringe, because this time the situation is serious to him. He is seriously angry, and he is seriously hurt, and it's important to him that Fadel is fully aware of it, aware of what he's done to Style.

"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."

Oh, Style. I hope you don't end up eating your own words later when Fadel finds out why exactly you were hitting on him and trying to get him to fall for you in the first place.

No. 6: Are These Systoms of Being Pregarnt?

This time Fadel is so done with Style that he drags him away in front of everyone else instead of waiting until no one is around. And Style is finally able to have somewhat of a civil conversation with Fadel again. While he is still angry at Fadel since they still haven't cleared up their quarrel, he is no longer outright yelling at him or attacking Fadel with his words like he was at the diner or in the group meeting just now. The tone of his voice is softer and also his dramatic flair is back when he goes on and on about how he might as well be pregnant. And we also learn what exactly it is that Style wants from Fadel: "You slept with me, so take responsibility for it."

I've already talked at length about why I think Style isn't one for casual, no strings attached one-night stands in my ep3 meta, and Style's words here highlight this once again. The storage room sex mattered to Style. And I don't think it mattered to him because it was a step closer to fulfilling the mission he's been sent on and a step closer to getting the car of his dreams.

If you read my ep3 meta, you'll know that I mention a couple of times that Style is developing "positive feelings" for Fadel. Phrasing it like this rather than phrasing it as "romantic feelings" or "starting to like" was a very deliberate decision. Because I don't think Style was quite there yet in episode 3. He still had many other ulterior motivations and intentions going on, be it Kant's "hit on Fadel so I can get to Bison" mission that Style gets a car out of or Style being nosy about Fadel's lore. If you remember, at the beginning of this meta when Style woke up with a boner I said Style may have a bit of a problem now. The problem is his own feelings – this whole episode hasn't been about Kant's mission or the car anymore (or about Style finding out Fadel's backstory). Instead, this whole episode we've been exploring Style's real feelings, his own desires. Style has started to care when it comes to Fadel, has started to genuinely want him. Style is starting to genuinely like Fadel now. He even lets it slip during the support group meeting:

"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."

And yes, one could argue that he's been saying he likes Fadel ever since Kant set him on Fadel and that Style, in fact, has said he likes Fadel many, many times before, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. But I think this time it is in fact different. I think this time he means it. Because if it was just a lie, if those were just empty words, then Fadel dumping him in the kitchen wouldn't have hurt so much. And at this point, I think Style's hurt isn't only about being dumped in the kitchen but also about being ditched in the storage room. Style may have said he won't hold what happened back then against Fadel, but maybe deep down he does. Because the storage room sex mattered to him and at this point of the episode maybe it matters to him even more so than at the beginning of the episode or at the end of episode 3. Not to mentioned, he really doesn't like getting nailed and bailed. You slept with me, so take responsibility for it.

No. 7: I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You. Not Even a Little Bit. Not Even at All.

"You're not killing me or anything like that, right?" Style says as they're walking out of their last scene and Fadel promptly takes him out to the woods into an abandoned greenhouse. They still haven't cleared anything up between the two of them and Style is still kinda angry, which is why I think that when he says "Are we doing it outdoors? Your taste sure surprises me" he says it mostly to piss Fadel off, not because he wants to flirt or actually do it with him in that moment (oh but just you wait another few minutes 🤭🤭🤭).

Fadel once again just wordlessly walks away from Style. Instead of following him, Style stays back at the car, kinda annoyed. We don't know how long exactly Style was waiting, but either way, I think he does lowkey start to get freaked out a little. He wants to go home and starts looking for Fadel.

"I know you’re gonna kill me and hide my body in the woods." Oh Style, sweetie, no. Careful with your words. Apollo's ball of prophecy and all that. Right after that, we get yet another reference to Style not being scared of Fadel. When he enters the greenhouse, searching for Fadel while monologuing, he shouts:

But I ain't scared of you!

Fun fact, in Thai he actually phrases it as "You think I'm scared of you?":

มึงคิดว่ากูกลัวมึงหรอ [mueng - kít wâa - guu - gluua - mueng - rŏr] you - think that - I - scared (of) - you - [question word]

It is night-time, Style walks along dark aisles in search of Fadel who ran away from him and is currently nowhere to be seen, when suddenly, out of nowhere Fadel appears, shoves him into some furniture (ish) and angrily yells into his face: "Who sent you?" Oh, wait, wrong episode.

User @secriden wrote an excellent post detailing the parallels between the ep3 storage room scene and the ep4 forest scene, but I actually think that the beginning of the scene is much closer to a different scene that we saw in episode 2: the locker room scene. It's interesting because this is the third time this episode calls back to the first two episodes. It starts with the parallel of Fadel's fake-out, then we had the parallel of Style publicly humiliating Fadel, and now we have a call-back to the locker room scene, which will soon turn into a parallel of the storage room hook-up. The parallels do be paralleling this episode.

In the locker room, it was Style who dropped a "love confession": "I like you. I liked you the moment I crashed into you that night. It was love at first sight. So damn romantic. Straight out of a movie." But now in the greenhouse it's Fadel's turn. Fadel ambushes Style, shoves him against the bars and starts raging. Fadel has yelled at Style a lot over the past few episodes. He yells at Style to reprimand him, to shoot down his advances, or to tell him to piss off. When Fadel yells at Style, it's all about his feelings of disdain he has for Style. So when Fadel says "I don’t like you messing up my life. My life has been planned out. You’re disrupting it," Style sighs a little and braces himself for yet another fight against Fadel:

But then Fadel goes off-script. "I don’t like myself when I look for you on the morning jog or at the market. I don’t like waiting to see if you’d show up at my restaurant or my go-to club. You— I don’t like you being in my life and changing it."

This is a new one. Style listens intently.

Fadel continues. "I don’t like feeling like this." Style has all his focus entirely on Fadel and his words now. He squeezes his eyes just the tiniest bit. And I think this is where Style starts to figure out the core of Fadel's problem.

"I don’t like it!", Fadel yells and Style looks at him with so much resolution and with so much understanding.

And then Fadel drops: "I don’t like that I miss you."

Fun fact about the word คิดถึง [kít-tĕung]: apart from "to miss", it can also have the meaning of "to think of, to think about". So another possible interpretation and underlying meaning of this line is "I don't like that I think about you."

Something vital that I want to bring up at this point now is something that @secriden has pointed out in her meta:

It's incredibly important that Style waited at this point. Style, who talks endlessly and without thought. Style, who demands that his story and his thoughts are aired first. Style, who has been telling Fadel this lie time and time again before Fadel’s feelings made it true... Stops. Waits. Stays silent. Because Fadel had to get there himself or not at all.

And get there, Fadel did. Fadel has just spilled that he thinks about Style, that he misses him. That Style's efforts have been worth it. That Fadel has started caring the way Style has started to care. Style looks at Fadel, takes it all in.

Style finally understands Fadel's problem, finally understands why Fadel has been acting the way he's been acting.

When Style kisses Fadel, there is so much purpose, so much intent to it. Style has something to say, something important, and every single thing on his mind, every single emotion, he puts it all into that kiss. And what he has to say is:

Yes. The caption in the gif is different from the official English subtitles. Because Style literally says:

มันโอเคนะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]

And this is a distinction that is important to me personally. Phrasing it as "It's okay to be in love" is by far more specific than "It's okay to love" and I think this particular word choice hits Fadel harder as well. Fadel likes control, he likes knowing exactly what's going on at any given moment. But then Style shows up as a whirlwind in his life, bringing disorder to everything. Fadel is starting to develop feelings that he can't control and it freaks him out.

When Style kissed Fadel in the locker room it was an attack in the battle he was fighting against him. When Style kisses Fadel in the greenhouse, it's for reassurance. Style puts everything he wants to say with "It's okay to be in love" into that line. It's okay to let go. It's okay to let things take their natural course. It's okay to be in love. You're allowed to have feelings. It's not a bad thing. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.

And with this we go into the parallels to the storage room scene. If you remember my ep3 meta, then you'll remember how I said that Style didn't really mean it at the time when he said he wanted Fadel right before they hook up. This time he didn't say a single word about it, but his actions show that he does want Fadel this time. Once again I'm gonna steal a thought from @clemelntine's meta:

[Style] isn't entirely giving in/passive in the situation, though. He still has a hands on Fadel holding him close/in place, and does seem to want to touch him. No matter how much he wants Fadel to service him, he isn't gonna let him do it all on his own. He too wants to explore Fadel as well.

We can really see that this time around. Unlike in the storage room, Style has his hands all over the place: on Fadel's throat, underneath Fadel's shirt, in Fadel's pants, pulling Fadel closer with his arm around Fadel's neck. What's more, there's significantly more eye contact. Fadel actually looks Style in the eye now. It's still not as much and as intense as in Style's fantasy, because they're still not quite there yet emotionally, but it's a start. They've both started to develop some actual feelings, and this time around they're also both aware of it. Of their own feelings as well as the other's feelings. Where last time they were acting purely on physical attraction, they're much more emotionally involved this time around. Emotionally they're much more on the same page this time around. And it's beautiful.

Also, I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet, but we are all aware that they show us pretty much the entire act from start to, uhhh well, finish, right? Right?? 🫣

No. 8: Be My Boyfriend

Not for the first time Style says he wants Fadel as a boyfriend. Unlike the other times though, Style actually means it this time around. His words are no longer for show, no longer a performance that will be rewarded with Kant's gratitude and his car. Style is being 100% serious about being Fadel's boyfriend. The car is more of an afterthought (and one that he will get to, because a deal is a deal, and he's been in love with the car much longer than he's had any positive feelings for Fadel for, but still. Right there in the woods, I think the car isn't really on his mind at the time).

Style means every flirty thing he says. He means it when he says "You’re mysterious and alluring. You’re quiet, but sexy as hell". If you remember, during the kitchen scene I mentioned that Style wasn't as loud in the flirty things he said, and we can really see that in the aforementioned line and also when he says "[Having a boyfriend is] great. You have someone to embrace, to love, and to…" These lines are much less loud and less performative than compared to everything that came out of his mouth in ep3 on the sports field.

By the way, I need you all to know that this exchange:

F: I’ll stick with jerking off. S: I’m sure.

Actually goes:

F: I can jerk off by myself. กูชักว่าวอยู่เองได้ [guu - chák wâao - yùu - eng - dâai] I - masturbate - be - (by) oneself/myself - be able to S: I know you can do it yourself. รู้ว่ามึงทำเองได้ [rúu wâa - mueng - tam - eng - dâai] know that - you - do - (by) oneself/yourself - be able to

And where did we get a similar exchange before? That's right. In that very scene at the sports field that I just mentioned:

F: If you want it that much, then go jerk off. ถ้าอยากมากเนี่ยก็ไปชักว่าวไป [tâa - yàak - mâak - nîia - gôr - bpai - chák wâao - bpai] if - want - much - [particle] - then - go - masturbate - go S: I know it can be done alone. รู้มันทำคนเดียวได้ [rúu - man - tam - kon diiao - dâai] know - it - do - alone - be able to

The words they say are similar, and yet these two exchanges are very different from one another. Just like in the kitchen, Style's flirting in the woods is much more grounded. It's not the same performance as it was in episode 3. And just as I said in my ep3 meta, it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, not when he's putting up a show:

The inauthenticity in [Style's] insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes [the running track and the market]. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).

What's interesting, though, that even though this is the very first time Fadel actually engages in Style's friendly banter and amiable conversation instead of ignoring him or yelling at him or telling him to piss off, at the beginning of the conversation Style doesn't have Fadel quite just yet. Actually, no. That's not accurate. Style is being genuine, has been genuine all episode already and so he does reach Fadel in the beginning of their conversation. Fadel is finally engaging, is finally getting involved. But then Style loses him again at a certain point. And it's specifically when he says:

But isn't it better to have someone like me with you?

Up until this very point, Fadel was mostly turned towards Style. He's smiled, he's laughed, he's rolled his eyes in amusement and he's actively taken part in Style's conversation. He's been more open with Style than he's ever been before. But now? He stares at Style for a moment, then turns away from him, closing himself off from Style again.

And it's interesting that this is happening at this specific point, because their entire conversation has mostly surrounded sex (adjacent) things and physical attraction. They literally start this conversation referencing their hook-up from right before, Style calls Fadel sexy, and then alludes that he wants to sleep with him again. And I think by the time Style says "I know you can [jerk off] by yourself. But isn’t it better to have someone like me with you?" Fadel is at a point where he's like Oh, so you only want to be my boyfriend just so you can do me again, huh? So this is all I am to you, huh?

Fadel isn't cool with that and so he starts to shut himself off from Style again. Style is rejected again. Style turns his head away from Fadel, sighs, raises his eyebrows, and I think he realizes (at least subconsciously) what Fadel is unhappy about, because the next thing he says the moment he's turned back to Fadel is:

What you said to me just now... I feel the same way.

And again, he's being sincere. His voice is calm and grounded, there's not a single trace of his dramatic antics. And that line and coupled with that sincerity has Fadel listening up again:

"Be my boyfriend," Style says and Fadel listens even more closely. "Give me a chance," Style says and Fadel looks away, laughs, and replies "You don’t even know me". Fadel's words are a challenge, but this time there is no malice, no anger, no annoyance in his voice. His voice is soft. Fadel poses a challenge, but it's not an invitation to fight. Or rather, it is an invitation to fight, but it's a very different fight from before. And Style is only happy to take up said challenge: "And what about it? I’ll learn more about you when you’re my boyfriend."

And for what he says next, I'd love to share a more literal translation with you again. In the English subs Style talks about being 100% in and it being Fadel's turn to let him in, which, yeah, it's the gist of it. However, in Thai he uses the word เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] again, which I've already talked about in my ep3 meta because Style has used that word before during that scene where Fadel hands him the burger. The day after posting that meta, I actually asked my Thai teacher about this word in class (and nearly died in the process) because I hadn't discussed this word with a native speaker for my meta and while I had discussed this word with my Thai language learning buddy after he brought it up when I was trying to explain the German phrase "sich einlassen auf" (@ German speakers: เปิดใจ is very similar to that!), I just couldn't remember it well and wanted to double check just in case. According to my teacher, it's a word that is used to talk about opening up to something or about giving things a chance, but the literal translation is "to open one's heart" (เปิด [bpèrt] = to open / ใจ [jai] = heart, mind) and I think the series makes use of that literal meaning for a nice metaphor/image here. I think Style's choice of words is very deliberate:

I've opened my heart to you 100% already. กูเปิดใจให้มึงร้อยเปอร์เซนต์แล้วนะ [guu - bpèrt-jai - hâi - mueng - rói - bper-sen - láew - ná] I - open up (one's heart) - for, to - you - 100 - percent - already - [particle]

Only you remain. เหลือแค่มึงอ่ะ [lĕuua - kâe - mueng - àh] remain, left - only - you - [particle]

How much will you open your heart to me? จะเปิดใจให้กูมากแค่ไหน [jà - bpèrt-jai - hâi - guu - mâak kâe năi] will - open up (one's heart) - to, for - I/me - how much

Fadel, who has enclosed his heart in thick, high walls, is being asked how many doors leading up to it he is willing to open. Style subtly reminds Fadel that a relationship consists of two people, but leaves the decision of just how close Fadel will let Style get to his heart entirely up to Fadel. Because that's Fadel's choice to make.

While Style is talking, Fadel is listening intently, really taking in Style's words and contemplating them:

He's quiet for a moment after Style is done telling him You have full access to my heart now. I'm willing to give you a chance. I've done my part. The choice is on you now. Will you grant me access to your heart, too? Will you give me a chance as well?

Fadel thinks about it for a bit more, then laughs a small laugh, throws his head back, and goes "Yeah. Fine." Style is confused. Fadel then explicitly agrees to be his boyfriend. Style's eyes widen. He can't believe his ears. He has to ask for confirmation, has to make sure he really heard it right:

We're boyfriends, right? เป็นแฟนกันใช่มั้ย [bpen - faen - gan - châi mái] be - boyfriend, girlfriend - each other, together - right?

Fadel confirms. Style is absolutely over the moon and showers Fadel in kisses.

Do I think they're already in love? Not exactly. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to look at Fadel as closely as I have been looking at Style (I need 48h days fr 😭😭) but when it comes to Style, I think even if he's not in love just yet, this is the start of something real. We saw in episode 3 that he was starting to develop positive feelings towards Fadel, was starting to genuinely have a good time hanging around Fadel, but he still had ulterior motives in the foreground of his mind. I think when he hooked up with Fadel in the storage room that kicked off something within him because, as I've made very clear in my ep3 meta, to Style sex isn't just sex. Because if it was, his journey this episode would have been going very differently. But throughout this entire episode Style has cared, he has cared so much to the point he's gotten really hurt. And his joy when Fadel agrees to be his boyfriend? That's real. And I don't think it's because he's about to receive the car of his dreams as a reward. If it was, I think Style would have been much more smug about Fadel agreeing to be his boyfriend, would have been much more self-satisfied underneath all that happiness. But Style's joy here is pure. And he doesn't brag about finally "winning" Fadel over, doesn't hold it over his head in a smug HAH, you gave in to me, I'm the one who won our battle of wills, look how cool I am sort of way. Style's joy is real, but what he's feeling is not quite love at this point. But so what if they're not in love just yet? Like Style said: They can get to know each other fall in love when they're boyfriends.

No. 8: Apollo's Ball Of Prophecy Is Real

Remember how a couple of paragraphs ago I said the car was just an afterthought, that Style would still get to? Well, he's getting to it now. He shows up at Kant's place and "When should I come and get your car?" is the first thing out of his mouth right after his hellos. Kant reminds Style of their deal and asks if Fadel has agreed to be Style's boyfriend. Style says "yes", shining brightly as the sun as he says this. And the way he shines while dropping this info to Kant makes me once again think that his happiness here is more focused on Fadel rather than the car. Style is a little smug now, but it's mostly before Kant mentions the words "Fadel" and "faen" together in one single sentence (yes, I had to go with the Thai word for boyfriend just for the alliteration lol). When Style says yes, Fadel is in fact his boyfriend now, the subtext I'm hearing is not something along the lines of Yeah, I finally got him, so where's my beloved car at, bro, we had a deal???? but what I'm hearing is more like Yes!! He is!! Can you believe!! Fadel is my BOYFRIEND!! Omg!! I did it!! Just like we'll see in the flashback to the "be my boyfriend" scene right after, there is something rather pure about Style's complete and utter joy at the thought of Fadel being his boyfriend.

Style relays the "be my boyfriend" conversation to Kant and it's only after that that Style really starts bragging: "Your best friend is a genius, isn’t he? I told you I can get anyone." And yeah, undeniably this is about the fact that he's getting a car out of it, but I also think that he would have bragged about it even if the deal with the car didn't exist. Kant and Style seem to have the sort of friendship where they always brag to each other about their love lives. We were shown this in episode 1 when Kant goes to see Style at the garage and Style immediately asks for the tea on his night with Bison, pretty much begging Kant to brag about it when Kant tries to change the topic to something else. Style would have bragged about Fadel to Kant no matter what. Besides, why wouldn't he go get the car, despite actual feelings being involved now? A deal is a deal, and if he can get the car of his dreams and the boyfriend of his dreams out of it, that's even better. Best of both worlds. Who wouldn't say no to that?

But Style's happiness gets smacked right out of him via Apollo's ball of prophecy as he learns that he should really be very careful what he jokes about. He almost spoke Fadel taking him out to the woods to kill him into existence. Fadel is a hitman. Style's panic gets the better of him. He has seen, felt on his own body even what Fadel is capable of. He doesn't like Fadel that much yet, so he's outta there before he gets to experience first hand the real depths of what Fadel can be capable of if Style gets too annoying. Car be damned. Style may be unhinged but he isn't suicidal.

Kant, however, manages to talk Style into helping him and staying with Fadel anyway. Now, you could say Style is unhinged for agreeing to help Kant instead of firmly refusing his request and getting out of this mess before it gets worse, but I think in that moment Style is genuinely afraid that Fadel WILL kill him if Style breaks up with him, breaks his heart right after Fadel has finally, finally given him closer access to it. And Style has had to work very hard for said access, so he knows very well how big that decision was for Fadel to entrust Style with just a little bit of his heart. And if Style then goes and breaks that little bit of Fadel's heart that he was given in the very next moment? That's a death sentence on Style's head right there.

And another reason why I think Style agrees to continue working for Kant's mission is that Style likes to help. I've already touched on this in my ep3 meta:

Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode [ep3] when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.

Helping people is something that comes easy to Style, something he doesn't really have to think about, and so when Kant practically begs him to help Style can't do anything but agree to help Kant because not helping would go entirely against the nature of his character. Also, who could resist First's puppy eyes? Valid, absolutely valid. I, too, would fold like thin paper if First looked at me like That.

No. 9: Over Your Limit

Style is at the gym, probably in an attempt to work off some of the overwhelming emotions that Kant's reveal has left him with. What's interesting is, as @secriden noted, that Style decided to go there during daytime. From episode 2, both we, the audience, as well as Style know that Fadel likes to go to the gym at night specifically to avoid crowds. It's probably safe to assume that Style went there during the day specifically in order to avoid Fadel.

So Style sits there, lost in his memories, recontextualizing everything that happened at the greenhouse, processing Kant's news, rethinking his decision. Unfortunately for him, he's already made his choice the moment he agreed to help Kant, and so in the end Style goes Fuck it, I'm doing this.

Unexpectedly, Fadel shows up. Style hadn't been mentally prepared for that and despite his fuck it attitude just mere seconds ago (17, to be exact), his instincts kick in and he panics. Everything within him is screaming at him get away from this man, your life is in danger and so Style immediately rejects Fadel's offer for help: "I can’t do it anyway. I was pushing my limits."

Style is pushing his limits. Hitting on a guy? Sure, that's fine. Making him his boyfriend, despite said guy having walls as thick as the Great Wall of China? A little challenge, but nothing Style can't handle. But dating someone who is a professional killer, someone who is capable of taking lives and might very well be capable of taking his own boyfriend's life if need may be? That really is pushing any limit Style could ever have even as much as dreamed of. He can't do it.

But despite every instinct within Style telling him to run away, Style doesn't, because that would be suspicious and Style can't risk Fadel getting suspicious because that would seal his deathly fate even quicker. So Style hesitantly leans back and lets Fadel help him. And here at this point, I just wanna give a little shout out to Style raising his eyebrows and sighing a little after they're done, like whew, I survived that, I'm still alive, because it makes me giggle:

When Fadel alludes to wanting to have sex, Style plays dumb. Style has used this strategy before when he wanted to find out the connection between Fadel and the host club, but where in ep3 Style was playing dumb in order to gain Fadel's trust, here at the gym Style is playing dumb in order to delay having to get close to Fadel again (much less sleeping with him) while he figures out a way to get out of it. When Fadel cuddles up to him, it's the last straw. Style's panic takes over for good and he makes an escape. But then Fadel calls out to him, asking him to wait. Shit. Style's fight for his life is not yet over. Style stops, trying not to be suspicious or to do anything else that would give Fadel a motive to kill him.

Fadel walks up to him and wipes the sweat of his face. Where before Fadel's touch has recently been making Style feel good, it now feels very threatening instead. Yet, at the same time it's also a kind and caring gesture, which is something that isn't lost on Style.

Style very much notices the care in Fadel's action, but his new perspective on Fadel makes it hard for him to embrace and appreciate the kindness of it. And the kindness and care also contradicts the image of the ruthless killer Style now has in his mind of Fadel. These two contrasting aspects simply do not go together. Unable to cope, Style runs off.

The Attempt of a Conclusion

Where Style had just a little bit of a problem at the beginning of the episode, by the end of it that problem has grown much larger than he could have ever anticipated. Over the course of episode 3 we saw that Style was slowly starting to develop some positive feelings for Fadel, was slowly starting to actively enjoy hanging out around him, was starting to get curious about Fadel of his own accord and not for motives connected to the deal. Yet, the deal was still very much always there. In episode 4, however? Style might not have entirely realized it yet, but that deal is no longer relevant to him. Not showing up to the morning jogging or at the market might still have been a planned strategy in the mission Kant gave him, but that mission goes right out the window the moment he hears that Fadel had asked about him. When Style goes running to Fadel the second he is told that Fadel had asked about him when actually Style could and probably should have played his game a little longer, really letting Fadel stew, from that moment onward it's all about Style's own feelings rather than the car. And everything he does this episode is led by those feelings. Over the course of this episode we see that Style has genuinely started to like Fadel. And he had to. He had to start liking Fadel before learning about Fadel's real job. Because the higher you are, the further you fall and Style accidentally having caught feelings makes the drop down worse, for both Style, the character as well as us, the audience. Style genuinely likes Fadel now, and if that wasn't enough of a problem already, the man he likes turns out to be a professional killer.

Crap, indeed.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

#the heart killers #fadelstyle #stylefadel #thk meta #adrm #thk #thk ep4 #thk style #my meta #thkmetamine #i really tried to get this out BEFORE ep5 dropped but then i ended up having many thoughts again dfkjd #actually the most time-consuming part was figuring out how to PHRASE these thoughts in a way that it makes sense #rather than just vomiting a jumble of words into the post #that's why it took me so long #ALSO I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAD ALL OF IT UP UNTIL AND INCLUDING THE ''BE MY BF'' SCENE WRITTEN OUT *BEFORE* I SAW EP5 #LET ME TELL YOU THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN EP5 PRETTY MUCH VALIDATED MY READING ON STYLE IN EP4💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻#the theme of ep3 is style starting to feel positively about fadel #the theme of ep4 is style genuinely starting to LIKE like fadel #the theme of ep5 is style falling in love #and i can't WAIT to start writing about that one hehehe #can i make it in the span of 4 days is the question rip #less actually since tuesday is christmas and i have a visitor

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