#I'm not saying superbat

[garpen]

Garpen, how many times can you leave the people on a SuperBat cliffhanger before they start rioting, challenge- go!

[distort-opia]

This... is the most quintessentially Bruce as well as Superbat fucking interaction ever and it's just SO FUNNY.

"There will be secrets actually, we're just gonna be better at pretending we don't have any. But do not fear, Clark. It shall all be under control because you see... I have a plan."

[sepia-stained-sunset]

So, my favourite Batman ships are essentially;

Brutalia: "I could kill you" "I would let you"

Superbat: "I could kill you" "I know"

Ghostbat: "I could kill you" "You wish"

[blackbatofel]

Some folk: sending me hate comments saying how wrong it is to ship Superbat and how it isn't canon

Dan Mora a few days later: here, have a superbat kiss!!!

[laxi0v0]

Why is it that I spend time and effort drawing something I'm proud of and it gets 200 interactions but then I draw a shitty doodle of batman and superman speaking in the general direction of eachother and it gets over 500 interactions?

[zingaplanet]

My geeky superpower is that I once wrote a paper for my uni analysing why American superhero movies subconsciously projected a public opinion propaganda during the war on terror and actually got an A+ for talking about Batman and Iron Man's unhinged slightly gay obsession with Superman and Captain America

[bombusbombus]

Kiss him because he's an alien, because he's strange and other. Kiss him when his breath is cold and his eyes aren't human at all, kiss him because in admitting that he is a person, you have to admit that you're a person too. And if you're a person, you can fall in love.

Fall in love with him for his broad hands and can-do attitude. Fall in love with him for the way he smiles and the way he trusts. Fall in love with him over and over every time he says your name, softly now, but you know he's saying it with lips forged in faraway stars; you know his eyes can see galaxies you couldn't dream of, but they light up brightest when he's looking at you.

Neither of you are human. Both of you are human. The lines blur and fall away, leaving fingertips and sunlight and trust so strong it hurts.

[thebatcreature]

They want to fuck each other so bad it makes them look stupid

Superman Year One #3

[blorb-el]

reread world’s finest 289 “the one where alien telepathic worms feed on bruce and clark’s emotions and then have sex and die in front of them and then they weep and embrace over the ashes of the dead telepathic worms and the last line of dialogue is literally ‘here it is warm...outside it is bitterly cold. perhaps no one else, on any world, would understand.’” and i really can’t believe no one has yet written the sex scene afterwards. or if they have i can’t find it :(

[fantastic-nonsense]

just saw a piece of wildly ahistorical fandom discourse cross my dash and idk if I want to take the effort to actually respond to it or not

[somereaderinblue]

Your Tumblr clan name sounds like a feelsy Hallmark movie about a young woman returning to her hometown and learning what it means to love through a dashing, though dangerous, bad boy that probably wears a leather jacket and drives a harley

............when you put it like that-

[secretidentie]

A rumor about Superman and batman dating starts making the rounds in the hero community and everyone goes crazy. Primarily, a group of heroes who don't approve of the relationship . Their reason? They don't approve of the relationship's "large power imbalance"

Some heroes don't think the imbalance is a big deal while others say it's the reason they can't support the relationship but regardless everyone thinks the imbalance is there and no one elaborates on what this power imbalance is because it seems so obvious to them. It's however not as obvious to Bruce and Clark.

Bruce: I do understand why people are concerned

Clark: Yeah but I would have thought people were over the fact I was an alien by now. I would never abuse that power

Bruce: .......Wait you think you're the one they're concerned about?

Clark: Well....yeah. Why else would everyone be making such a big deal

Bruce: well not only am I funding the league I also own The Daily Planet. Maybe they're scared I'm leveraging power over you

Clark: Bruce I literally have superpowers. No offense but they obviously mean me

Bruce : I have more contingencies for you then you could count and a larger hoard of kryptonite then Luther. They obviously mean me

Clark: I can move mountains and planets. I've fought the worst in the Galaxy. I'VE REVERSED TIME BEFORE, BRUCE . I'm pretty sure I could kill you easily (if I were to abuse my power which, you know, I wouldn't)

Bruce: No you couldn't. I'm batman

Clark: that's not a valid argument and you know it

Bruce: yes it is. I'm batman *Smoke bombs away*

This whole back and forth leads to the most annoying and petty dick-measuring contest you could imagine until a week later someone explains that everyone was concerned that two of the most powerful members of the league dating would make them overall much more powerful than anyone else in the league.

This whole thing is solved by batman giving a presentation on relationships in the workplace and how it will not affect how they work and a follow-up presentation on how he could totally beat superman in a fight if he had enough prep time.

Superman walks out soon after the second presentation starts and that sparks conversations of how a superbat break up would affect the league

[fanatic564]

Superbat soulmate idea

Soulmate au where your soulmate's biggest secret is written somewhere on your body. But instead of Clark and Bruce's saying "I am Batman" and "I am Superman" they say "I am Bruce Wayne" and "I am Clark Kent"

Cue them meeting in civilian persona (Bruce is a detective and Clark is a journalist, of course they find out who the names belong to) and they end up dating. Neither of them find the marks too weird. With Bruce "billionaire and common kidnapping victim" Wayne, and Clark "reporter and probably has a lot of enemies because of this" Kent, they assume the other just doesn't like blurting out who they are if they don't have to.

So they date. And it's fine. But it feels like something is missing. Feels like the relationship is being forced despite their obvious bond.

Meanwhile Batman "I would rather die than let anyone know I'm a human who has emotions" and Superman "I need to protect those I love by not letting people know who my civilian identity is" are slowly learning to trust and depend on each other and are growing closer in a more natural way than their counterparts. Until something happens where they have to reveal their secret identities to each other.

[space-dreams-world]

Bruce staring at the child that looks like him: and where did you get this one and why do you have him?

Danel nonchalantly: Oh...uhh, their actually yours and considering where he was, it's a good thing I did...

Small Damian: Baba...who is he?

Short DPXDC Prompts #225

There’s a deity in Krypton that looks frighteningly like Danny as Ghost King. Superman freezes when he sees the Phantom for the first time because it’s like he was directly taken out of the murals he’s seen of the Kryptonian god.

[ryemiffie]

More quotes from my day as more superbat incorrect quotes:

Bruce: To say I would move heaven and earth for you would not be a just testament to the love my heart harbours for you, for I would tear the realms apart and meticulously recreate the universe in your image if it meant to please you.

Clark: Babe, I literally just wanted to know if it would be chill if I took the last fry, all that was not necessary.

Bruce: Oh. No, I wanted the last fry.

Clark:

Bruce:

Clark: Duel you for it?

Bruce: Sure, I'm gonna win though.

Clark: No you're not.

Bruce: Yes I am.

[sully-s]

Batman Quest To Get A Birkin Bag

Ok so I have a very indulgent, SuperBats head fanfic that keeps me company on days that I forget to charge my earphones while walking my dog and to bore my wonderfully accommodating friends over dinner.

Long story short it’s a character study about Clark after his death. Doomsday kills him becuase we do not subscribe to Synder movies in this household.

Mostly its about Bruce grieving and reflecting on his ten+ year marriage with the man of steel with a large helping of the Justice League members bonding and finally getting to know Bruce and in turn Clark. (Kal never really got to say specifics about his life because Bruce wanted to keep his identity secret therefore a lot of Clark's life was private.)

For most of the fic Clark’s dead. But I'm one for angst with a happy ending so he comes back. How he comes back I have all kinds of versions but I just want to share this really silly one that I’m slightly obsessed with.

It’s about two years after Clark died. Currently, Bruce and Hal are off-world for a two-month mission. Shortly after they leave the League are battling some sorcerer who's in possession of a Jinn. During the battle two of the three wishes are used and at the end it's Flash who gets to use the last one.

He wishes for Clark to be revived back to life.

Jinn says he can't do that

Flash thinks of course just like in Aladdin you can't bring the dead back, make someone fall in love or wish for more wishes.

The Jinn is like how dare you think that's not within my power of course I can bring back the dead, I can't bring back Superman because Clark's not dead. he's just in his grave too weak to break out of his grave due to the lack of sunlight.

Flash hears this and immediately rushes over to dig up Kal.

The next month and a half are all about Clark adjusting to the changes over the last three years (Like having a new kid at the manor: Tim) Meeting new members (Green Arrow, Martian Man Hunter), and really bonding with his teammates ect.

While waiting for Bruce's return Clark asks Barry what he'd like.

Barry is confused

Clark clarifies that Barry was able to bring back one of Bruce's loved ones “to life.“ That’s never happened and for a man like Bruce who loves deeply for his family he going to be very grateful and he will not take “I’m just glad I could help” for an answer. So Barry needs to think of something or Batman will.

Barry doesn't know what to ask for but knows that Bruce is rich. He figures this would be a great time to get that designer bag that Iris always wanted but they could never justify ever buying. (Listen I don’t know if Iris is a designer girly but in this fic she really just likes this one bag.)

So Bruce and Hal get back and after the big celebration party, the JL held for Clark and Bruce's reunion. Bruce approaches Barry thanks him and asks if there’s anything he can do.

Thinking Barry is going to ask for a house, pull some strings with his Brucie persona so he can better his life at his job or status. Maybe ask for Bruce to fund or set up a wellness program for people in Central City.

But Barry is just like: Uh well Iris has always liked this bag.

And Bruce is thinking Really Barry You brought the love of my life back to life I’d move mountains (without Clark’s help) for you and you want some designer bag for your wife?

Bruce: Do you have a picture?

And as soon as Barry shows him the bag Bruce knows moving mountains would be so much easier.

The bag Barry wants to get is a Birkin Bag.

Now if you know anything about Birkin bags 1. they’re stupid expensive. 2. If you can afford one that doesn't mean you get to buy one. Hermes the company that makes them has this irate practice that you have to work up a good relationship with the store and the sales associates in said store to even get the privilege to buy a Birkin (usually by buying a ton of other Hermes products you don’t want.) Sometimes you buy half the store but if you’re not a high-profile client or they don't like your image they just brush you off and postpone your chance to ”buy” a Birkin. And if you do all of the above prerequisites You don't even get to pick the bag they "give" you one. Want a pink colorway? Sorry here's lime green you're welcome.

Now Barry has no knowledge of any of this and just thinks a Birkin is just some overpriced bag. The problem is Iris only likes this one colorway ( Size 35cm, Red Alligator Exterior, Gold hardware, Yellow Slik interior ect.)

This is going to be near impossible.

But In Bruce's mind, Flash did the impossible in bringing back Clark (Bruce thinks Clark was wished back to life because that's the story everyone is sticking to. Because the emotional trauma of letting Bruce know that Clark was alive the whole time rotting away in a grave for 2 years is not on anyone’s todo list.) So he will get this bag Even if it kills him. He's the goddamn Batman.

And all this lead up is to what I'm actually obsessed with

I just love the idea that Bruce is running around Brucie-ing it up to try to get in Hermes' good graces but his image of being a drunk playboy is activity stopping him from buying any bag.

He calls up the Daily Planet and starts setting up all these puff PR-boosting articles to up his image. Which starts rumors becuase Burce Wayne doesn’t do interviews so why now?

Gotham elite catches wind that Burcie Wayne wants a Birkin richest man in America can't get one. So they all start getting Birkins. They ware them to his galas, just to troll Burcie. The elite jump on the waitlist inflating the list to stupid long. Hermes starts to wear the exclusivity of Brucie Wayne as a sign of good taste and prestige. Bruce searches the second-hand market and can't find the colorway Iris's wants.

Bruce goes undercover as a worker for a local Hermes store to become his own sales associate just so he can get around the prejudices of Bruce Wayne image and start racking up a sales history. (He just selling and buying to himself lol.)

So Bruce is playing a luxury salesman using his background of old money and Alfred’s butlering to woo potential buyers. Working his first retail job ever. Having to suck up to management so he can plead his case about Bruce Wayne. Using his access to get informed on what bags are currently available, who’s on the waitlist, where they rank, and criteria on how and what moves you up the list ect.

After months and becoming the number one salesman, he makes his case to allow Brucie Wayne to buy a bag.

It’s declined.

So he switches tactics.

He just makes a new cover as a recently won lottery winner looking to burn cash and wants to burn it with Hermes. And starts a new sale history. Using all of his knowledge and intel about what gets you on the waiting list.

He gets stonewalled a few times by former co-workers that he gets around by blackmailing them with gossip and infractions he witnessed or was told In confidence when he was a fellow sales associate.

Finally, his lottery winner persona is put on a waitlist. The only problem is he’s at the very bottom.

So what does he do?

He suties up As Batman and starts intimidating all those who are higher on the list than his lottery winner cover rocketing him up the list.

He hits a roadblock when he tries to scrace a woman on the list who doesn’t believe he’s actually Batman becuase “Why would Batman even want with a Birkin?”

Which leads to an escalation that gets him an earful from Superman who’s called to the scene by said woman whos terrified after Batman strings her upside down over the edge of her high-rise penthouse.

Clark offers to buy the bag becuase who wouldn’t want that kinda of PR endorsement?

Which Bruce vittamently refuses becuase it would cheapen the gift.

Finally, after a week of terrorizing wait-listers, his lottery winner persona is “given“ the opportunity to buy a bag.

But disaster strikes when that lucky break he thought he got because he was next on the list was actually bad luck becuase the person was bumped off becuase they bought the bag that Bruce had painfully calculated to purchase which was the only bag that would be made in the next 3 years that has the colorway that Iris wanted.

So Bruce tracks down and comforts the buyer in the dead of night as Batman. The buyer freaks out and says they didn't even want this colorway and really wanted a Caranery yellow ostrich skin colorway and if he could get her that one she'd trade for it.

This leads Bruce to play matchmaker for a series of buyers that have Birken Bags they don't love and would trade for their dream bag. And after months of fetch questing and matching sad Birken owners around the world with their dream bags Bruce he pulls it off. He finally gets a Canary, yellow ostrich skin colorway Birkin bag trades it for Iris’s dream bag. Only to find out it was ruined in a car crash that was caused by an alien invasion 2 months before that the JL had a particularly nasty time with and it was Bruce’s Batmobile that was thrown into her parked car.

The bag is a mess the zipper borken, missing hardware, leather scratched. But Bruce so done with everything accepts the trade and takes it back to the cave. Where he proceeds to 3D scan the bag then composite a CAD model and starts to collect all the raw components of the bag himself.

Getting only the best materials (much better than what Hermes was using) Talking to Killer Corc on how to find the best alligator pelts. Flying to India to personally pick out the red dye for the color. Mining the gold for the hardware from an asteroid that was threatening the Watchtower.

After he has everything Bruce proceeds to by hand construct an exact replica of Iris's dream bag. Essentially making the most over-budgeted fake to exist. Where he finally gives it to Barry (who has no inkling of the time and effort Bruce has put into this side project that has taken the better part of a whole year) who jokes in saying “Oh wow takes 12 months to run to the store huh?”