#I'm not in terrible pain or anything right now though it's just kind of annoying. may have to sleep

[liquidstar]

Waiting for the beautiful ibuprofen boat to whisk me away from headache Island

[buccini555]

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫 — 𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

✦𓈒 𓆇 While Ran was busy, you took his phone to look at something random and ended up finding romantic messages from other people...

✦𓈒 𓆇 x m a l e r e a d e r !

✦𓈒 𓆇 𝑭𝒕. Ran Haitani

It was already late when Ran finally arrived home, even so, despite your exhaustion, you remained anxiously waiting for him, when you finally heard the door open, you went to welcome him as usual and then you went up to the room together.

"Wait until I take a shower, hmm? Could you tell Rindou that I'm already home?" The taller man entered the bathroom and handed you his phone, then you went to do what he asked you to do.

Sending the message to Rindou, you noticed some notifications, but you just ignored it all when some heart emojis caught your attention.

"We should see each other more often, my love!" That was all it said, even though you trusted Ran and thought invading his privacy was a terrible idea, you opened those messages and it really was the worst thing you did.

Trying to hold back your tears with each of Ran's words, you just waited for him to get out of the shower, which didn't take long.

"Finally! My day was extremely tiring- what are you still doing with my cell phone?" He immediately changed his mood when he realized he was discovered, still silent, you just looked at him with the biggest disappointment in your eyes.

"Was it nice to spend the day with him too?" You questioned in a single teasing tone, noticing Ran's mask falling.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He pretended to be surprised and questioned in a subtle tone of voice.

"You've always been a good actor, haven't you?" Still ironizing the situation, you questioned him again.

"...I'm not going to sit here and listen to some stupid kid's complaints." Ran said as he dressed in a hurry, he definitely didn't even care about the seriousness of his actions.

"Complaints? How did you have the nerve to betray me? I would never do that to you!" Tired of holding back your tears, you just spoke, making clear all the pain you were feeling.

"I needed to have fun! I just wanted to have fun, okay?" For a moment, Ran stopped what he was doing, looking at you with a look of superiority and saying that he just wanted to have fun.

"Having fun throwing our relationship in the trash? How much consideration you have for us!" Looking directly at him, you replied, with a trembling voice and still trying to deal with the crying that insisted on continuing.

"Shut the fuck up, you're so fucking annoying." Ran shouted before snatching his phone from his hand, making you feel scared of his reactions.

Amid solutions and tears, you could only realize that Ran wanted to blame such betrayal on you. "...You behave as if this is all my fault."

"If you were enough for me, I wouldn't look for fun out there."

"Alright then, go away and have a great time!" You laughed, still watching Ran mock all of your pain.

Seeing who Ran really was, in that moment you just accepted that he had become the worst kind of person he could be.

"Thank you for letting me go, now I don't have to hide anything from you anymore, right?" Finishing getting ready, he continued to ignore you, Ran didn't seem to care about the fact that he was discovered.

"No, of course not, you remain free since our relationship meant nothing to you." Once again, you responded to Ran's taunts.

"Don't talk that shit, man." That's all he said, Ran definitely thought you wouldn't break up with him or something, but, you just ended it that night.

The last thing Haitani heard from you was just goodbye.

"Go away Ran..."

When he realized that you were really firm in your decision, Ran left, leaving you with only the pain of having been betrayed by the one you loved most.

[la0hu]

unofficial iud recovery log everyone avert your eyes:

june 13th (tuesday) i got it in, experienced pretty bad cramps and light watery spotting discharge, nothing too bad tho. note: this would have also been day 1 of my period

day after i just had slightly bloody watery discharge but also insane bad cramps and lightheadedness; i did almost pass out for a couple hours and felt emotionally numb / extremely weird mood that i was worried would be permanent

thursday i took off sick and had bad cramps; i believe my bleeding started to pick up so i had to start using tampons again, changing every 4 hours

friday terrible cramps, lightheaded again, bleeding really picked up + clotting so changing tampons every 2-3 hours. super lightheaded right before my hair appointment but it subsided by dinner time

yesterday and today, cramps are being managed by alternating advil and tylenol, changing tampons every 2 hours during heaviest flow and every 4 hours at night. blood flow is pretty heavy but still lighter and with less clotting than my period. in general i feel a bit weak, but my mood is normal

update: monday, cramps and bleeding lessened somewhat but still need to take meds and use tampons :( ; negligible bleeding last night

tuesday: no bleeding last night, bleeding is lighter today, no tampons but sitting around all day anyway. clotting is still kind of heavy. cramps are weaker but still needed to take advil.

wednesday: no bleeding last night. bleeding definitely lessened so that i don't need tampons anymore, but there's still clotting. cramps have also lessened but they're definitely not fun to sit through; had trouble telling if i had bad indigestion or cramps in the evening, which was not fun

thursday: i bled last night >:( but in general my flow feels a little bit lighter (still with clotting). low level cramps still, so slight i don't notice them until i realize i don't want to move or stand up straight out of discomfort. flow picked up in the evening though, and i did end up using tampons again :(

friday: bled last night and needed to get up in the middle of the night. when will i get a full night of sleep again... flow feels the same as yesterday, which is to say still annoying and heavy by most people's standards, but manageable by mine. cramps have calmed down a little? it's getting easier to skip the advil, but i still need it.

saturday: bled only a tiny bit at night. woke up with terrible cramps, but that's probably bc i was so hungover. flow is markedly lighter; i used some regular tampons, but i left them in and forgot about them and used a cotton pad with no issues, and when i took them out, i noticed my flow had slowed down a lot.

sunday: full night of sleep. woke up with no cramps, but they kicked in by midday and i needed advil. blood flow was very light, heaviest in the afternoon and tapering off as the evening came on.

monday: full night of sleep, no bleeding at all! cramps didn't kick in until midday. bleeding is light and with much less clotting than before. TMI but in the shower i could feel my cervix had moved back up, which is where is normally lives when i'm not on my period (before this point, it had been lower and nearer to the entrance of my vagina as it is when i'm on my period). worst symptom right now is the cramping

tuesday: no cramping at all, and during the day bleeding is not exactly light but manageable with no tampons.

wednesday: bleeding picked up at night; at 3am i woke up and put in an extra large tampon, and at 9:30 this morning i removed it and it was completely bled through. no cramps though. in the evening i felt my iud strings poking my labia somewhat painfully; i didn't feel any plastic, but my strings felt markedly longer than before. my bleeding picked up a lot after this point. i had to re-tuck my strings a second time before bed.

thursday: had to get up in the night again. cramps are different, less painful than normal period cramps but not like anything i've felt before. bleeding is very heavy again, comparable to the first week post insertion. before my appointment, i felt more pain and lightheadedness, probably because i ate a small breakfast and then didn't eat until 3:30.

[motheatenscarf]

Okay, we're 6 episodes in now and I wanted to wait and make sure the first 3 eps weren't a fluke, but they weren't.

I am really enjoying S2 of TLoVM so far!

It's still good!

S1 had a rough start, but like, pilots are hard. I get it. Selling people on this world and these characters is a lot, setting the right tone is hard. I don't even think they botched it, I think it was just awkward for those first few episodes, but by the end of the Briarwood arc they really proved they can make a worthwhile story out of this with fucking gorgeous animation and solid character work.

S2 continues to impress me in terms of animation, I complained that the one dragon of S1 along with a few undead warg looking things were janky as fuck and looked terrible. Not the case anymore! The Chroma Conclave are CG and they are GORGEOUS, both in design and the way they move, I'm so glad they gave them the attention they need! The Sphynxes looked a little wonky, but in a way that implied maybe they were made of stone, and they're not here for that long anyway, so it's nothing that doesn't work well enough to get you through until they don't matter anymore.

My one nitpicky ultra critical complaint remains what it's always been; character talk too fucking much when they could just shut up and trust their audience to put two and two together.

I know that's like... a petty thing to complain about, but god it annoys me. It shouldn't! It's not like this is trying to be high art or anything! It's a fun dumb adventure story with focuses on action, horror, and comedy, and 2/3 of those it nails every time! It just bugs me that they make crude jokes, they curse, they have gore out the fucking whazoo, they are clearly branding themselves as a Grownup Show For Adults, so the way some of the unnecessary dialogue holds people's hands through scenes like they are small children who don't have any kind of understanding of visual language just... annoys me.

Spoilers below the cut for the most egregious example of this specific gripe;

Okay, so Scanlan being the one to "wound" the Sphynx was something I saw coming a mile away. That's not a bad thing, I've said before if a narrative has done its job, you know what's coming because you've been paying attention to the themes and foreshadowing. I don't remember this being in C1, but I barely remember this part of C1, so that's not saying much, everything between the Briarwood arc and Westruun kinda blurs together for me. But! I knew that it was gonna be Scanlan and that he'd do his bard cutting words shit and wound the Sphynx by reminding him of Osysa. And he did! And it was a sweet moment, I liked that we see the effect it has on the Sphynx as he looks sad and cries. I am a human adult who understands simple emotional cues, I can see he is wounded. The fucking Sphynx does not then with his words need to tell me "You have done what no other has before, you have wounded me; you have wounded my heart." I know that! Scanlan knows that! We saw him crying!

The dialogue that follows is, y'know, clumsy, but I get why they have Scanlan say with his words that he is lonely even though everything in the narrative is beating us over the head about it. But god the whole "Oh, you have wounded me!" thing was just. It irritated me. Just have the Sphynx cry and THEN say, "You must know great love in your life to understand such pain as this." That's it! That's all we need!

It just bugs me!

And it shouldn't!

And I know it!

I'm fully aware how petty I'm being but my god, if you are making a grown up show for adults, trust your audience to be able to discern that a SAPIENT BEING THAT IS CRYING. IS EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED. For FUCK'S SAKE.

Anyway, A- so far, the animation really is amazing and the characters and world are a lot of fun. It's fun! It's fun and worthwhile and good and doesn't try to be anything more than what it needs to be, which is good, I'm just insane and impossible to please.

[cderiva]

[ TOUCH ]  for sender to trace one of receiver’s scars (kusakabe & maria) 

[ TOUCH ]  for sender to trace one of receiver’s scars 

@tsuiokuno

it’s too hot, the kind of heat that clings to the skin and makes it feel like every breath is thick and heavy. the sun is still blazing even though it’s late afternoon, turning the metal of the train tracks into something blinding and sharp. maria shifts from one foot to the other on the platform, her sneakers scuffing against the concrete, and she wishes she could will a breeze into existence, just something to break through the suffocating warmth. kusakabe is standing next to her, or maybe just behind her, it’s hard to tell when her brain feels so scrambled from the heat. she’s aware of him in that way she always is, even when her mind spinning like a whirlwind.

"ugh," she mutters, dragging a hand through her hair and lifting it off the nape of her neck, trying to catch the smallest hint of nonexistent breeze. she has never coped very well with the heat. no, scratch that - she’s terrible at it. miserable and dramatic and uncharacteristically vocal about her discomfort. she’s rambling now, half to herself, half to him. something about how they need shaved ice or something equally life-saving, how this kind of weather should be illegal, how people weren’t made to survive in this kind of sauna, and how the only thing that might save them from melting into puddles on the train platform is something cold to drink or maybe a massive, ice-covered bowl of kakigōri. “i'm going to combust.” she says, squinting against the sunlight. her voice comes out rushed, words a little too dramatic. “we have to get something cold to eat or drink, or you’re gonna watch me spontaneously ignite. i swear, this heat is—”

and then she feels it. his hand on her shoulder. his touch is gentle, unassuming, but it sends a jolt through her all the same, like a static shock. the words die in her mouth, her rant cut off mid-sentence, and suddenly the heat in her cheeks feels different, less from the oppressive sun and more from the awareness of him standing so close. “huh?” at first, she thinks maybe it’s a bug. her mind jumps to a dozen tiny, irrational possibilities, some cicada or a spider the size of her palm. “is it a bug?” but something in the way his fingers linger, the way they move, tells her it isn't. his touch isn’t quick, the way it would be if he were brushing off some bug for her. his fingertips are tracing something on her skin.

oh.

it’s the scar.

the one on the back starting at her right shoulder and running downward. the one she keeps hidden because it makes her feel too exposed, too raw. she’d forgotten, or maybe she’d just been too exhausted and annoyed by the heat to care earlier, too desperate for relief to think about all the reasons she usually keeps that part of herself covered. she’d slipped off her light jacket without a second thought, the warmth too unbearable to handle any extra layers, and now her whole body feels like it’s gone still and rigid with embarrassment.

the scar is anything but delicate, an angry, jagged line that cuts harshly across the otherwise smooth skin of her back she tries not to think about it often. about that summer day at the beach, how her curiosity had won over and she'd wandered away from her friends and stupidly walked toward something that looked off, how not long after there was the excruciating pain of claws raking across her back, a shock that made her knees give out followed by the sound of her own screams tearing through the warm, salty air. she remembers the confused panic in her friends’ faces up ahead, and the way she’d had to pretend afterward that it was just an accident, just her clumsiness leading her to trip on the rocks and landing on her back.

now, his fingers are touching that same scar, following its uneven path, and she feels this strange mix of emotions twisting inside her. it’s not like she’s never had someone notice it before, but this feels different. his touch is careful, almost curious, the complete opposite of what left that scar. she can’t help but wonder what he thinks of it. does he think it’s hideous? does he feel some pity or disgust? the thought tightens her throat, and she doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry, or if she's starting to feel sick.

she wants to say something, to make a joke about how scars are just battle trophies or something equally dumb, but the words get stuck in her throat.

“it’s, uh, not a big deal” she finally manages, but her voice comes out strangled, and she clears her throat, forcing herself to sound more like her, more casual. she twists around, just enough to catch his eye, and tries for a crooked smile, even though it feels wobbly around the edges. “just a stupid mistake from a long time ago. it's so old i forget it's there.”

[adepressedartist]

I haven't felt this terrible in years.

I just want some fucking rest. Nothing to do. Nothing to clean. No expectations to fulfill. No people around. No overstimulation from outside. No one to stress me out or make me feel bad. Just cozy being in my space, adjusted to my needs. I make people go out of their way when I tell them my needs. I make people angry when i tell them my needs. I get humiliated. They tell me it's stupid. They laugh at me. They get frustrated.

I was seriously contemplating just jumping in front of that train. I was contemplating all different kinds of suicide available to me in that moment, and a part of me died even though i didn't do it. A part of me I'll never get back. But it doesn't matter, really. Because i do not matter, at fucking all. I'm useless, I'm fucking annoying others, I'm not good enough for anyone or anything, i ruin everything and I'm an annoying nuisance. I deserve tremendous pain and suffering, so either I will set myself free, or I'll live with the fucking horrors but also make everyone around me feel worse because that's apparently all I'm good for. I'm torn since apparently I'm not giving anyone anything positive and instead just stress frustration and anger, i might just do it. Have a ****** roam the streets, just that this time, I'm an adult and capable of more. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm nothing but constantly stressed. Purely. Stressed. There's NOTHING left to comfort me because either it's broken, stolen, constantly angry at me, taken away from me or not touchable. I can't use my apartment because i spend all my energy helping someone who isn't even grateful but instead angry at me. I don't know how long i can go on like this. I either kill myself, flick the switch or ... Kill myself. Lol. I don't see how i can keep going on like I am right now. I can't withdraw myself into any kind of safe space. I'm hopeless at this point. And i know that my apartment won't be a 100% properly cleaned because i know the people that want to do it, and know how it looked when they said they did a "deep clean". Not blaming them, but i got fucking stuck in a box full of bugs over and over until i properly cleaned everything. I got beaten by my stepfather till i literally cleaned the floor, shower drain and toilet seat with my tongue after cleaning, so i had to make sure beforehand that it will be actually clean. I got fucking pissed at because there was one dust corn left on my closet. All my furniture and belongings were thrown away or used for the stove without skipping a beat because i didn't properly clean up. I didn't get to use the bathrooms if i didn't clean them properly. I was left to starve because i didn't properly wash the dishes. In order to prevent the cockroaches from coming back it needs to be THAT well cleaned up. And seeing the living spaces of the ppl that want to do it i don't think i will be able to move back into that apartment, because i know what their "deep clean/entirely cleaned up" looks like, which is not nearly enough. Besides the fact I'm heavily uncomfortable letting ANYONE into my space and going through my shit, I don't think i can trust anyone to go through my shit again without stealing anything. But I can't physically (nor mentally) do it myself. I'll just kill myself because working the last couple of days in order to be able to pay for the cat stuff i bought made me feel even more terrible. I just want to rest in my apartment without the fear for bugs. Or kill myself. I'm done. Oh. So. Done. I can't fucking breathe.

[cominguppoppies]

I went to the beach with my friend, THE friend, yesterday and it was really nice. The beach is definitely my favourite place in the world. I would choose the ocean and the beach, I would choose it again and again. It's where we came from, and it's where I eventually want to return. In the meantime though, I will be so very content as a visitor. We were having a good time at the beach until I suddenly started feeling terrible. I hate being mentally ill and having to deal with it, at times it's such a burden. It just feels so heavy at times. Something small happened and was said, I know he didn't mean anything by it. But all the feelings I'd been bottling up about myself, the breakup, and even the friend I was with just surfaced at the same time. It's become more and more clear how so many issues in my life stem from the fact that I am not happy with myself. I'm not content with who I am, and it's hard to deal with the fact that this will always be me. There are moments where I genuinely feel like a terrible, evil woman. It scares me because I feel as if I'm the kind of person people don't enjoy and love, but that they simply tolerate and endure. And I don't want to be that kind of burden, not on the people I love. Because I don't endure them, I adore them. They are all so beautiful. I'd do anything for those beautiful people. I know I confused the fuck out of my friend. I know I do a lot. He's told me, he says he likes that about me. I just hope I don't annoy him. Too much. I was afraid he was mad at me, I was afraid that something deep inside of me is unloveable.

I had a beautiful day, though. The beach is so wonderful, it's so healing. And I guess part of healing is feeling everything in full. It's all just a process. It felt so nice to be at my favourite place with one of my favourite people, at his favourite place too. This world is so full of love and I see it in my friends and in the world every single day. We jumped the waves and we sat in comfortable silence. He's one of the only people that I can simply speak without thinking, just letting it all spew out, and he understands and appreciates it. I like that. It's all so comfortable between us. Same with the car ride, I enjoyed that a lot. On the way over, we talked and danced and just lived. It's so nice. On the way back, it was more quiet. We were both tired and it had been a good, but long, day. It had been a good day for me, at least. I hope it had been for him too. It was more of a comfortable silence, occasionally interrupted by a flowing thought. That's nice sometimes, too. It's always so comfortable though. I love the beach.

After coming home, I actually ended up with another friend. She's scary because I see myself in her, in a way. For better or for worse, usually for the worse. I see myself in the bad parts of her. I love her anyway. We talked about me and my other friend. She pushed a lot, more than I was ready for, but I think I needed it. I needed some prying to fully face and air out those thoughts. I appreciate her. She's got a complex and scary mind. She's like me. I sometimes wonder if it scares her. She asked if I like my friend, and I told her what I've been saying since the day he and I talked. I did for a bit, but I was trying to cover up the shock and pain of a breakup and sadly, I used my best friend. We're just friends and I'm so very okay with that. It's the best way to be. It's the best kind of love for us to have. I came to terms with that weeks ago. But I told her that deep down, there will always be a part of me that wonders what it'd be like if we were more. How would it work out? Would it? That 'what if' will always have a place deep in my mind. I wonder if it'll ever be answered. I have no desire to find out, especially not right now. We've discussed that neither of us are seeking a relationship, with each other, but also in general. Neither are ready and I think we've bonded over that realisation. We reached a self realisation together. That's the beauty of it. And maybe that 'what if' will go forever unanswered. And that's okay. It's okay that it's there, it's okay if it goes unanswered. I'm happy that I am aware of it either way. It's not necessarily a desire, it's simply a question.

16.7.2024.

[the-firebird69]

Is a huge huge number of people watching what's going on and they're kind of dismayed they don't think that it's right and it's getting worse but these are things that happen right now and in punta Gorda and Port Charlotte they are not abnormal but we are going to go ahead and fix his straight talk we're working on it but it's really Walmart and we have a program for that and he said to start getting a product in and to force them in that's one way to do it and we want that to happen and we want people to volunteer for that service because it's an exemplary way to do it. Huge numbers of people are changing gears to get ships finally small ones and to take over tablets they say... I'm trying to come up with lines to say to our son and says I think John Cena has some like tap out and stuff like that. And there's a lot of stuff going on but I do have some news to announce above and beyond with her did she did a great job that's what he was saying quick precise to numbers and for some reason these guys want to know I think that they're not alone that's what they want to know and they aren't and they're going to verify the numbers and stuff like that

-there were about 50,000 people who were laid off of their jobs from Raytheon today Raytheon in Florida that's a big company here but that's a huge number for the employees here. Then we have a total of like 350,000 employees in Florida and 50,000 of them fired was a lot it's a big shock and they're all more luck but they're dangerous they know how to make things and then how to create like make things work and then how to make it work if it's kind of close the dangerous and they're talking about it they didn't heard about our son and what happened with the go-kart and he does stupid things after even though a friend of his got pretty much almost killed completely there's not a daughter but it's one of bja she was revived in his healing and it's damaged badly feels a lot of pain.

-the second company that's laying them off it's a very large company and yeah we're still in the process of negotiating with these for positions and things this company is like Morrison Knutson but it is a tech company it's Emerson and they do make products for the public like Raytheon makes radar and such for boats and radios and things like that electronics for boats cars trucks airplanes for people to tons of products but Emerson is fairly large and in Florida they have 300,000 employees they let about 100,000 go today and that's a lot they said you're not doing anything your welds are all bad your time here is terrible you're trying to steal secrets and stuff and we catch you all the time and we need you out and don't come back or you'll be shot so they are intercepting lots of communications and say they'll come back and it's going to be terrible tonight it's going to be a lot of them gone but they're incompetent from the beginning it just didn't help that the phones are pushing them at work and they caught tons of them afterwards and she saw it happen and they're standing right there saying stupid things you know those guys are a couple of knot heads they're airheads it's a real world you know and I think nothing of it once again it's like a huge loss for them it's a lot of people it's more people than they are ready to lose and it's more jobs than they wanted to lose it is probably one of the largest layoffs they've ever experienced in Florida. And they're astonished and upset. And it's ongoing it's a lot of other things happening around here there are groups of idiots who are continuously trying stuff and it's the same people doing it and they need to be arrested a lot more often mostly it's once every three days and they don't get it and we're going to continue and it's going to get rough for them.

-another form of annoying behavior is to torment dogs and cats using inappropriate behavior and it continuously do it and to annoy people mostly they're annoying each other now and they get beat up a lot cuz they need stuff including the clones they're massively annoying it's very strange I never thought it would be so damned annoying but really that's one thing they try and slow us down with instead they speed up the process and this company is huge. And they expect more layoffs tomorrow or tonight if three shifts and they take one shift down to retool they make a lot of products in Florida for Florida and they can't stand the quality it's horrendous horrendous quality and these people can't concentrate anymore they're not liked and they're hated they keep bubbling their poop out telling people what they were doing and they get killed a lot all over the world

-those are too high tech companies and they both do radar and the max want them out because they're trying to make the stuff not work and they're going to go to town on trying to attack ships and airplanes and airports and military posts they can try and use jamming and that's what they're going to do tonight and most of them probably arrested including the ones that still work there and we're expecting half or more to get fired tonight plus we all of them and the armies that are associated here in Florida and elsewhere will be coming tonight and they're trying to recruit people still working say no we need tech try it just huge news our son says this is like the heart of a battle or War especially if they're talking about chips and they are so they're trying to infiltrate they should I mean it's really something they should do

-there's about 15,000 that were fired from third tech company it's more about hardware and our son did some work with them and it's Lockheed Martin he designed several Jets several space planes and several systems are going The Jetsons faceplants South and some electronics too they're very cutting edge ideas and new flight technology how to make it faster he says the f-111 is funny but at high speeds it's not it's hard to detect and we have several that go about 50,000 miles an hour and you can't even see them when would think otherwise it's true but they don't form a pattern in the air that's easily recognizable and it scatters it is amazing especially when it's a little warmer out or you're in the altitude that's hot. It's not a huge number of people but these people are smarter more luck and one of them keeps storming by him and the other is standing there on the phone in disbelief it's being talked about but he knows you're not doing the right thing and they're lazy slow and they're always going to get butchered before they start to do anything and they're not at 7% are at about 6%. It's still a huge numbers are attacking and almost every day goes down to half percent it's way too many a few more days and I'll be out completely and if you took the ones in Australia New Zealand out and some other Islands maybe about 3.5% and really those people down there in trouble.

-there's another company and yeah globally it affects them and there's a lot of fighting and will be taking these over shortly and the max will work there but this is All tech and there's our son knows it is not brain surgery and it could be a severe problem for them. But they're trying to retain people in there and still struggle. And we have. One more company it is a

-Lansing and it does set off for John Gallagher that in the stock market issue they can't still seem to find it and they're looking still and Wall Street has begun the movie is going tonight and tomorrow and the following night and John Gallagher gets stoked and Mom has not been hit yet I should figure it all out ahead it doesn't sound like these people they do loudly openly she's trying not to but they're horrible. Lansing provides all sorts of lenses it's kind of an odd company to be down here and my son says no if there's a lot of nights at a clear and it is weird for it to be clear that's the point and you can see forever and they use diamonds and they will use some of the stuff that they took and they'll see the ships and the clubs with you can see them if you look for profile and stuff like that sometimes even in space and they know how to do it in a certain lenses at work and then the company they're going to be out and about and there's going to be sensing and looking and their people are going to do it aggressively and they should they should know what's going on it's extremely annoying and being massive assholes to her son I need something else to do in the next day they live this way all the time and they see our son is not used to it at all it's just kind of wants to go kick it in the face yeah.

And we're going to publish so we don't lose it got more to announce about this area and other areas yes

Thor Freya

We approve this message

Olympus

And breakfast this is going to be interesting if I have these haters will figure out something and get something else to do and then sit there and be s*** heads and losers

Hera

Zues

-

[dior-luxury]

~  you have bad period cramps ♡ pure fluff / fem. reader

[c]  ࣪⋆་ ˖ .  ︶⏝︶⏝  ୨ ♡  ୧ ⏝︶⏝︶   . ˖ ་⋆ ࣪

-[i] ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯     း   “ Enjoy :) ”  ͮ     𑄹

pairing] NRC students + rollo , neige , & chenya cw]  female anatomy. separate.

Deuce

Doesn't know what to do-

He feel bad for just standing there when your in pain.

"U-um- Do you want me to get medicine from the store?"

Feels bad every time you curl up in pain.

"Y/N, I brought the medicine from the store.. I'm sorry that I can't do much :(".

Cater

Since he has two sisters he pretty much knows the concept of periods.

But he hasn't ever since it this worse.

"Baby- Are you sure your okay?.. Do we need to see the doctor?-"

(The Other NRC students below . )

Riddle

P a n i c.

He doesn't know what to do once in his life.

The one thing he knows is that heating pads work mostly!

Stresses out because he think's your going to cry-

Will cuddle with you though <3.

"Y/N, I am so sorry that your going through all this pain..."

Would read more about it after this though

Trey

Best boi <3.

Once gone through this before with one of his sisters.

Brings you back, Chocolate and Herbal Tea :)

Hugs you the entire time <3 .

Will also play with your hair the entire time <3.

"Y/N, Would you like your Tea now?"

":o"

Ace

hm- ✨N o✨

He's really no help at all..

Will lightly tease you because you keep hugging him.

But will make you food... so...

Would try and distract you from your pain, like video games, art, and such.

"Oh- I think doordash is here-"

"YOU SAID YOU WERE MAKING IT-"

Ruggie

He would be decent.

Since he's good at taking care of people, you would feel a little better.

Brings you donuts <3.

Also would try carrying you around.

"Alright Y/N you got this one more step-"

*you fall*

"OH JESU-"

Leona

Okay so-

Depending how things go.. He may or may not be annoyed at you for being loud-

Of course he understands you can't control these things.

On the happier side- He would sleep in your stomach :o

He also purrs witch helps your cramps if you didn't know :D.

"Leona it hurts :("

"I know it does- try sleeping in the fettle position or however you call it-"

"I thought it was called fertile?-"

Jack

Underrated bb <3❤️

On the top of the list <3

Would brings you a lot of boxes of chocolate <33

Runs you a bath ❤️

Just comes to your every need in general.

"Is there anything you would else like Y/N?"

"Nope! I'm good :)"

Jade

Is like Jack but more romantic.

Brings you roses, and candy this time.

Would bring his laptop (if he has one-) and would watch movies on them with you.

And would just hang out with you in general :).

Floyd

He's really no help...

This dude has mood swings and its not going to help.

Would try and get you to be more active during this time because having exercise helps.

Takes you out to food atleast!

"Floyd did we really have to go to a sea food place-"

"Ima invite Azul because he'll love it here :o"

"WHAT-"

Azul

Sad for you :(...

Hugs you forever <3.

Also makes you tea, and food.

Also seems like the type to also watch movies with you.

Kalim

Sad bb :(

Will cry with you

Buys like a whole stack of chocolate boxes-

And also bring you to the movie theater :0

"Kalim- I- why did you buy this much chocolate."

"I mean- its not that much..."

Jamil

Also doesn't really know what to do-

He kind of just lets the medicine do its thing while he's right next to you.

(sorry this one is short :( . . . )

Rook

Dude is about to cry.

He hates seeing you in this terrible pain.

Would most likely treat you like your a goddess/god.

Another one who just never stops hugging you.

Keeps you entertained by reading to you and stuff!

"Mon amour~ I hope you are feeling better~!"

"lol. Thank you Rook"

Vil

Despite his often cold/mean appearance, he is emotional, he just doesn't show it.

Depending if he is busy or not he would care for you the whole day<3

With stuff like take do art, read, name random things- yk Lol.

Epel

He's in the middle.

Like he knows what to do in stuff

But he's really awkward when doing it-

For example like give you tea (he's just scared he's going to spill it-) or him giving any "lady" products, (he wasn't exposed to that stuff.)

Gifts you a teddy bear called Winter though :D

"Y/N, I know your not feeling so good, so I brought you a teddy bear! Her name is Winter."

"Awe. Thank you ! "

Idia

...

He's bad at this-

He doesn't understand what he is supposed to do unless you tell him.

He just overall sucks at this.

"Idia is this candy?-"

"Are you not supposed to have that???"

Sebek

Kind of useless to-

Okay but- Besides his strict (LOUD-) tone, he's pretty decent.

You would take care of you needs and all that.

Then later comes in with 50 stuffed animals-

"I know this is a very difficult time for you right now so I brought some stuffed animals-"

"How the hell-"

Malleus

Clueless.

Also thinks your going to die!!

Is about ready to call in perfectional help-

But he never needed it because he was watching over you! (idk if that sounds creepy-)

He's just really worried :(

Lilia

Your so lucky <3

I mean he is a parent so-

Of course your going to be fine <3 !

Bakes for you (it comes out burnt)

But is also a lil protective

Silver

Lays on you the whole time

Plays lo-fi to help you <3

Would also make food for you, example

Hugging you the entire time you two sleep together

Also shows you cute animal pictures.

[chuuyrr]

okay okay idea!

so, gojo reader, right?

gojo reader who has a clash with the volcano headed curse like from the anime! gojo reader who shows off her skills to her lover (for this ask i’d say dazai and chuuya ofc!) once more with her infinite void technique, aka, domain expansion.

for this cross over i’d assume that domain expansion is something only she, and those in contact with the “gods” can use. feel free to tweak this idea however you see fit though!!

limitless

bungou stray dogs x gojo! reader

masterlist of infinity

╰➤ CW(s): major spoilers for jujutsu kaisen (gojo satoru's infinite void is used by gojo! reader, but not as a domain expansion, and gojo's fight against jogo is referenced), mentions of blood and violence, and jealous! dazai

╰➤ PAIRING(s): dazai x reader, chuuya x reader (separately)

hello, anon!! thank you so much for the idea. not gonna lie, i've been waiting for someone to request gojo! reader use infinite void so i could write about it. im also terribly sorry for the long wait, i struggled polishing it!! enjoy reading ♡

before you read: instead of a curse (since curses and cursed techniques aren't present in my bungou stray dogs x reader), i'm making the volcano head curse "jogo" as someone who's just like lovecraft in a sense. basically not a curse nor human.

nakahara chuuya !

chuuya arrived unexpectedly with his motorcycle after you had just finished work. chuuya coming to pick you up was unusual given the distance between yokohama and tokyo, as well as both of your jobs. in any case, you were delighted to be picked up by your boyfriend, especially after a long day of irritating the higher-ups.

nothing beats riding a motorcycle with chuuya beneath a moonlit sky, alone together as you two passed through a forest.

"you good?"

chuuya caught a glimpse of you as he drove you and him, noticing how your body was slumped against his back, arms wrapped around his waist, and face pressed against the back of his shoulder.

"yeah, it's just that the higher-ups were a pain in the ass earlier," you grumbled, "they all kept blabbering about self-righteousness shit during the meeting, it's really annoying."

"so you deal with that kind of stuff everyday huh?" chuuya asked with sympathy, "my poor baby."

"yup," you nodded, "and i know what you're thinking. why the hell am i staying at heiwa then? when i can like, i don't know, get a different job maybe—" just as you were about to finish your sentence, you noticed something approaching you and your boyfriend at blinding speed even with your six eyes covered.

you suddenly tightened your grip on chuuuya's waist. chuuya would have jumped if he wasn't driving the motorcycle right now, but before he could question you, you and him teleported away from the motorcycle.

chuuya looked at you and you two were now meters from the grounds right now with wide eyes. not because he is afraid of heights or anything since his ability is literally gravity manipulation, but it was because you had him by the waist.

"[name], what was that for?!" chuuya exclaimed, a little perplexed by how your arm was still wrapped around his waist before his eyes fell to see his motorcycle above go straight into the railings on the side of the road, "my bike!"

the motorcycle, which had no riders, had exploded from a fiery shot of magma from a distance, leaving chuuya's mouth agape.

you pointed casually at the motorcycle that had just been blown to smithereens, "that's why."

"y-you saw that coming?" chuuya sweat dropped, looking at you with wide eyes.

you nodded and drew half of your blindfold upward to look at the volcano-headed creature that had formed itself beneath you and chuuya with a single crystalline blue eye, "six eyes, remember babe?" you asked calmly.

"what is that thing?" chuuya narrowed his eyes.

it had a humanoid shape and a short elderly-like man physique due to its hunchback posture. the top of its head resembled a mountain, specifically a volcano like mount fuji. the creature had gray skin, but the top of his head was brown where the volcanic opening was. he also had a single cycloptic eye, two brown corks on the sides of his head that appeared to be plugging his ears, and a mouthful of disgusting black teeth.

he wore an all-black ensemble that included a loose shirt with quarter-length sleeves, matching pants and shoes, a green spotted cape, and a white scarf.

"i honestly have no idea." you shrugged as you lowered yourself and chuuya down about a meter away from the volcano-headed creature who was grinning darkly at you, finally letting go of your boyfriend's waist before taking a protective step in front of him.

"who are you, huh?!" chuuya scowled at the volcano-headed creature, the red glow of his ability activating surrounded his body, "do you even know who we are, shithead?"

"i'm after gojo [name], human." he answered gruffly, earning a surprised look from chuuya.

"human?" chuuya was surprised, but he had his doubts in the first place. indeed, he was anything but human.

"aww, so you're pursuing after me?~ how cute! i'm gonna have to decline though since you're not my type." you exclaimed enthusiastically, clasping both of your hands together with a smile, "this is nakahara chuuya-kun! my devilishly handsome boyfriend."

the volcano-headed creature scowled angrily at you before a swarm of insects flew out of the opening of his volcano on top of his head. "ember insects!"

with that, a swarm of insects with large stingers lunged at you at breakneck speed, catching chuuya off guard as a loud noise emitted upon impact before detonating into a flaming explosion, the ground beneath cracking from the force.

as smoke erupted, the volcano-headed humanoid creature laughed maniacally, "and they said you were the strongest ability user alive?" he exclaimed, his shoulders shaking with laughter, "hah! you can't fool me!"

"oh, but i'm not fooling you at all." you stated.

the volcano-headed creature's cycloptic eye widened as the smoke from the explosion cleared, revealing you calmly standing there with your hands shoved inside the pockets of your black miniskirt, still in one piece together with your boyfriend.

"you've got some nerve to doubt my girlfriend." chuuya smirked. god did he love seeing your infinity in action. chuuya wasn't going to lie, but he had a heart attack when the insects swarmed you two only to discover they had impacted your infinity.

the volcano-headed creature took a step back, his mouth agape in surprise, before scoffing. he then attacked in all directions with the same blinding speed as you and chuuya maneuvered through his attacks.

chuuya couldn't help but notice that the volcano-headed creature seemed to be more interested in you than in him. he not only knew who you were, but he was determined to kill you for whatever reason. it was useless, just as the volcano-headed creature fired highly concentrated flames left and right, and even from above. you used your limitless' infinity to render his attacks useless.

"this cannot be! i hit you! i should have hit the two of you!" exclaimed the volcano-headed creature, irritated that you and chuuya were unharmed despite his barrage of attacks.

"you didn't touch me; you touched the infinity that exists between you and me," you explained, sighing deeply as you waved off the smoke produced by the collision of his flames and your infinity. "and for your information, infinity exists everywhere," you said to the perplexed creature.

you began to reverse a compressed ball of infinity that glowed dangerously red by lifting your index finger in the air. "limitless: reversal red."

the divergence of your limitless' infinity produced an extremely powerful repulsive force, repelling the volcano-headed creature so powerfully that he was sent flying towards the forest beyond the road, destroying hundreds of trees and causing the ground to crack and form a massive crater. the volcano-headed creature was eventually sent flying to a lake deep within the forest, and you followed him, bringing chuuya with you.

you and chuuya were now standing on top of the body of water, which baffled him slightly. you watched your boyfriend lift and lower his foot. he wasn't sinking, he thought, but he also didn't feel light because he wasn't using his gravity manipulation ability at all.

chuuya exclaimed, blinking profusely as he stared at you, "we're literally standing on water."

"it's cool, right?" you asked, tipping the side of your head as you smiled at chuuya.

"this reminds me of my ability as well, but i can only make it appear as if i'm walking on water," chuuya said, nodding.

"my infinity is the same. in fact, the two of us are stepping on infinity. it just looks like we're standing on water, and that's actually the case while we were in mid-air earlier," you explained before your smile faded into a smirk, "you wouldn't mind if i showed you something even cooler, right?"

"what?" chuuya raised a brow at you. you can do something greater than your infinity, amplified blue, reversal red, and hollowed purple?

"oi, mount fuji-san!" you turned to face the volcano-headed creature, which had now recovered from your attack, "you good? you took quite the blow!"

"you dare insult me, gojo [name]?" a nerve snapped from the volcano-headed creature, his cycloptic eye deepening into an angry glare, especially when you burst out laughing.

your mocking words rolled off your tongue, "you'll be fine. after all, you're weak."

"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME YOU STUPID BRAT!" the volcano-headed creature was enraged. the brown corks covering his ears flew away as flames erupted from them, as did the volcano on top of his head, "I'M GOING TO ENJOY SWALLOWING UP THAT SMUG FACE OF YOURS!"

a large number of highly concentrated flames had flooded the entire area, practically burning the trees and heating the water beneath your and chuuya's feet.

chuuya scoffed at you, "you just had to make him angry, [name]."

chuuya's response made you laugh as lava and rocks engulfed the entire area, completely drying up the water. everything was now practically on fire. chuuya felt as if he was in hell with you and that literal hot-headed creature because the temperature in the atmosphere was so high. he even had to take a step closer to you to avoid a burst of magma.

"THERE WON'T EVEN BE ASHES LEFT OF YOU, GOJO [NAME]!"

even when your enemy promised you death, you remained unbothered. that isn't the first threat you've received, after all. when you first met, your boyfriend literally threatened you because you ambushed and stole from port mafia. you held your ground as chuuya stood beside you until you reached for and took hold of your blindfold.

you smirked and drew it down to your neck, aligning your hand across your chest, curving your middle finger over your index finger.

"limitless: infinite void."

you had brought your target along with chuuya inside a domain, particularly the limitless itself, as the words rolled off your tongue. chuuya stared in awe as his and your surroundings had transformed into a vast void.

it was both beautiful and terrifying, especially when they turned their attention to the volcano-headed creature who happened to be your target. he was frozen in place, and it appeared as if he had seen and heard things, which he had.

"what is this, [name]? where are we?" chuuya asked, swallowing hard as he eyed his surroundings.

"this is the inner world of limitless. it's something i have access to due to my connection with sugawara michizane," you explained, sauntering towards the volcano-headed creature, the heels of your boots clicking in the process as you left chuuya's side, "and right now, every actions he takes are forced upon him infinitely."

"infinitely?" chuuya asked in confirmation.

"ironic, isn't it?" you asked monotonously, tipping your head to the side as you stared at the frozen volcano-headed creature with a dark glaze over your glowing blue eyes, "when granted everything, you can't do anything."

chuuya was then taken aback by a sinister smile on your face and he couldn't seem to adore your crystalline blue six eyes especially after what happened next.

you twisted the head you were clutching tightly only to yank it upwards with such effortless yet brute force with your bare hand, ruthlessly decapitating the volcano-headed creature with its neck completely twisted as the entire body fell.

chuuya was so shocked that it took him a moment to realize he was no longer in the limitless but had returned to reality. he watched your sinister smile fade as you slowly pulled your blindfold back on your eyes, but not until you gazed at the decapitated head on the ground into which you had dug the heel of your thigh-high boot.

your boyfriend was not going to lie to you. that was fucking terrifying. sure, you were hot when you were all scary and angry, but there was something about you that made chuuya doubt it was you for a second, and all he could say was "holy shit."

"[name]?" chuuya sauntered towards you, carefully approaching you, "you there?"

"whoops, sorry," you laughed as you looked up at chuuya before snapping back to reality and kicking the decapitated head that was still alive. "got lost in the moment for a second there."

"that was in the moment?!" chuuya cried out in disbelief, "but you.. that was.." he fumbled over his words, struggling to construct a sentence.

"i get carried away sometimes." you scratched the back of your neck while sticking out your tongue at him.

"i mean, i guess i get carried away too sometimes, but you were... how do i put this.." chuuya admitted, breathing out as he stared at you with wide eyes that were both scared and filled with admiration.

"you think i'm hot?" at chuuya's remark, your lips curved into a devious smile as you winked and placed a hand on your hip, watching a blush spread across his cheekbones.

"w-what kind of question is that?!" chuuya screamed, turning away from you and folding his arms across his chest, only to grumble a quiet response.

"of course i do.. idiot."

despite being a little spooked out earlier, chuuya definitely fell harder and was most definitely turned on.

dazai osamu ! (with kunikida third-wheeling)

your boyfriend was leaning against your shoulder while you sat comfortably in the backseat with him, and perhaps kunikida was scowling at dazai because why the hell was he showing pda in the middle of work. in any case, you and dazai ignored kunikida's reprimand and continued to stay put.

since the said assignment had something to do with another whole humans and supernatural entities experiment type of shit, dazai and kunikida were assigned to conduct an investigation with you being sent to help and gather information for heiwa.

while kunikida continued to converse with dazai, who was responding with funny yet joking banters to irritate him, you noticed something approaching you, dazai, and kunikida at blinding speed.

even if dazai slumped over you and made full physical contact with you, your six eyes were an ability he couldn't nullify with his touch. you gently pushed dazai away from you and leaned towards the driver's seat, your voice dead serious, unable to dismiss the now looming danger you saw from outside the vehicle.

"stop the car."

with that, kunikida, almost in a panic, stepped on the brakes, nearly recoiling from the impact if it weren't for the seatbelt on him; meanwhile, dazai's face planted onto the seat in front of him due to his lack of a seatbelt.

dazai groaned and stroked his face before looking at you and kunikida, "ugh.. what was that about?"

"why did you ask me to stop the car?" kunikida furrowed his brows and adjusted his glasses, which had almost fallen off.

"get out of the car, now." you demanded, immediately busting the door open.

kunikida and dazai were quick to follow. you immediately took hold of their arms and tackled them away from the vehicle as soon as the three of you stepped outside. a fiery explosion erupted from afar, completely incinerating the car. kunikida held a terrified look, while dazai's eyes widened with interest and surprise.

after the three of you got back on your feet, dazai blinked at you as you calmly shoved your hands into the pockets of your black mini skirt.

"i'm holder of the six eyes, remember, darling?" your lips curved into a half-smirk, "the six eyes allows me to see things even kilometers away, it not only gives me great processing power, but also vast perception."

"six eyes? that's right.. your six eyes aren't an ability. it works even if dazai is touching you," kunikida explained as he dusted his clothes.

"very good, kunikida-kun!" you exclaimed, clasping both of your hands together and pressing them against your cheek, "now, you and dazai be a dear and stay back right now, yeah?"

kunikida and dazai were bewildered, but did as they were told. a humanoid being had appeared from above to attack you, but before it could, you had immediately slid back, dodging the hit but causing a crater in the ground. before they yelled your name, a mound of the wall behind you rose and fired another shot of magma and flames at you, similar to the one from earlier.

the humanoid being chuckled darkly, "well that was easier than i expected."

"what is that thing?" kunikida's eyes widened.

"looks like our investigation decided to come after us, or in this case, after my belladonna," dazai sighed, shaking his head, "that thing isn't an ability user, and it doesn't look human either."

it was humanoid in shape, with a short elderly-like man physique due to its hunchback posture. the top of its head was shaped like a mountain, specifically a volcano like mount fuji. the thing had gray skin, but the top of his head faded into a brown color where the volcanic opening was. he also had a single cycloptic eye, two brown corks on the sides of his head that appeared to be plugging his ears, and disgusting black teeth.

lastly, he wore an all-black outfit consisting of a loose shirt with quarter-length sleeves, matching pants and shoes, a green spotted cape over that, and a white scarf.

you stood on top of the burnt up ground, your hands shoved in the pockets of your black miniskirt, "who are you calling easy?" you quipped, tilting your head at the thing that had just attacked you.

"did i wound your pride?" the volcano-headed creature asked you mockingly.

a grin made its way to your lips as you took out both of your hands and popped them, "nope, i'm starting to find this fun actually."

"ember insects!"

at that instant, the volcano-headed humanoid creature released insects that swarmed you in an instant, resulting in another fiery explosion followed by a loud noise.

kunikida and dazai stood back and watched as he attacked you aimlessly with fire-based attacks from all directions, fracturing the ground solely with his immense power. it's no surprise you told them to back off.

dazai wasn't concerned while kunikida was sweating bullets, wondering if you were still alive when the thing lit your head in flames, fearfully watching your body stagger in a spin.

okay, maybe dazai was concerned because your entire head was flames and didn't appear to be blocked by your infinity. but you couldn't possibly be dead. right? right?!

"hehehe, that was the gojo [name]? the limitless ability user everyone feared?" kunikida and dazai turned towards the volcano-headed humanoid creature that was now sauntering towards them and grinning maniacally.

"again with this!" you said as the smoke from the curse's attacks dissipated, just as dazai and kunikida prepared to bite back a response.

with you sighing deeply, the three of them turned around to face you, waving off leftover smoke. the volcano-headed humanoid creature didn't appear to be happy as kunikida sighed in relief and dazai proudly grinned at you. as he came to a halt on his tracks, his cycloptic eye shrank with visible rage.

"is this a joke?" the creature scowled, disbelievingly staring at you, "you should have been dead! i touched you! i killed you myself!"

"no, you didn't touch me." you exclaimed, shrugging your shoulders before bringing your thumb and index finger incredibly close with a small gap in between, "you touched the infinity between us."

"what the hell are you talking about?!" he huffed, heavily breathing out his growing rage.

your face was bright and happy as you leaned forward and outstretched your hand towards him, "i'll show you then! come on, come on!"

kunikida looked at you, puzzled, but dazai couldn't help but dramatically gasp as you insisted on touching hands with this.. with this vile creature that didn't even look human!

"oi, what are you doing belladonna?!" dazai began, only getting his head smacked by kunikida, "ow!"

"don't interrupt gojo and whatever that thing is!" kunikida reprimanded him, scoffing.

"but just look at [name]-chan, kunikida-kun!" dazai huffed, stomping his feet while pointing at you, "she's clearly flirting with him! i may have done so in the past, but i don't anymore!"

"and that's what you get for flirting with women in the past!" kunikida grabbed him by the collar, violently shaking him to get dazai to take a grip.

while kunikida and dazai were arguing, the volcano-headed humanoid creature had finally agreed. he extended his hand towards yours, intending to touch it, but it abruptly came to a halt, much to his surprise. there was that unseen force between your hand and his that shrunk his cycloptic eye.

"see?" you giggled at his reaction before speaking in a deep yet enticing voice that made kunikida stop shaking dazai's head in your direction, "we could even shake hands like this you know?~"

kunikida watched his colleague turn ghostly pale, a betrayed and surprised expression on his face, "[NAME]-CHAN?!"

you ignored dazai's reactions and continued to press your hands against the volcano-headed creature, particularly your fingers.

you had deactivated your infinity just as he was distracted by the shocking revelation of your limitless ability, and with that, you intertwined your hands with him, but tightly. you then jabbed your freehand at him, causing the volcano-headed creature to cough up purple blood.

you attacked him with your free hand while holding his other, smirking, "there's still more!" you then let go of him while he was in mid-air. you thrusted your leg and kicked him, making sure the heel of your thigh-high boots dug into him before launching him into a crater you'd created from your frenzied attacks on him.

kunikida and dazai were taken aback. they'd seen you fight before, especially given how much you enjoyed hand-to-hand combat, but dazai was mostly turned on. when you were fighting chuuya in the past, you weren't all that aggressive on him. it was such a sight that he forgot he was supposed to be jealous in the first place, but that wasn't all you could do.

"infinity exists everywhere," you began, calmly stepping towards the volcano-headed humanoid creature that was attempting to rise after being brutally pummeled by your bare hands and kick alone, "and my limitless ability makes that concept a reality."

with a smirk on your face, dazai watched breathlessly as you took hold of your blindfold and pulled it down to your neck. you peered down at the volcano-headed creature, your beautiful crystalline blue eyes revealed, and mockingly laughed, "not only are you too dumb to not understand that, but you're weak."

"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME YOU BRAT!!"

just as the volcano-headed creature got back up and was now burning in a red haze of fury literally speaking, you flitted your eyes up towards kunikida, and then towards dazai, who you winked at, catching him off guard and turning his cheekbones pink.

as you teleported in front of dazai and kunikida, you brought your hand close to your chest with your middle finger curved over your index finger, making sure to keep a good distance away from your lover so that he could not nullify your ability.

you had activated the arsenal of your limitless ability before the volcano-headed creature could lash out all his rage at you, your boyfriend, and kunikida, and just as he was about a good meter away from you.

"limitless: infinite void."

you had brought your target along with kunikida and dazai you remained a good distance with you inside a domain, particularly inside the limitless itself, as the words rolled off your tongue. kunikida and dazai gazed in awe as their surroundings had transformed into a vast void. it was both beautiful and terrifying, especially when they turned their attention to the volcano-headed creature who happened to be your target. they were taken aback. it appeared as if the volcano-headed creature had seen and heard things.

"where are we?" dazai inquired, taking a deep breath and continuing to scan his surroundings with kunikida.

this was something truly terrifyingly beautiful. he'd never seen anything like your ability before. it was dark but peaceful.

"we're inside the limitless," you explained, sauntering towards the volcano-headed creature, your boots clicking in the process, "perception communication. the actions he is taking are infinitely forced upon him."

"what does that exactly mean, gojo?" kunikida pushed his glasses further to his nose.

"it means [name]-chan's target will be able to see and feel everything while not being able to see or feel anything at the same time," dazai deduced perfectly with wide eyes and a smile across his face, "and they can't do anything but die slowly."

"just what kind of ability do you possess, gojo?" kunikida's face darkened as you placed your hand on top of the volcano-headed creature, grasping the mountain-like shape on his head.

"something only i, or perhaps anyone in contact with gods like sugawara michizane, can use," you explained, prompting kunikida and dazai to look at you almost worriedly as your voice abruptly became emotionless. "and right now, you are standing before the presence of his descendant."

you tightened your grip on the vile creature's head, causing a horrible shiver ran down dazai and kunikida's spine before their stomach dropped.

as the following event occurred, the ominous aura you were emitting worsened. you had violently twisted the head only to yank it upwards with such effortless yet brute force using your bare hand, ruthlessly decapitating the volcano-headed creature with its neck completely twisted as the entire body fell, smiling sinisterly throughout it all.

as it's now decapitated head rolled across the ground, you grabbed your blindfold once more, pulling it tighter and covering your eyes, breaking down the domain. you then stepped on the head, stomping your heel against it, and stared at it with a single uncovered frightening eccentric blue eye, your blindfold only covering half of it with the way you were holding it.

the more dazai thought about seeing you in this light, the more he realized you are exactly like him. you're like a coin with two sides, and what they saw earlier was your cold-blooded side.

you may have had control over this ability, the but it caused you to have a different vibe for a brief moment. it reminded dazai of chuuya when he was using corruption and wasn't himself. while chuuya was attacking in a frenzy of instinct with no intention of stopping, you simply stopped being human. you become incredibly aggressive in a frighteningly alluring way, displaying no emotion. to be more specific, frighteningly beautiful and dangerously strong.

when you fully covered your eyes with your blindfold, all of that seemed to fade away in an instant. you then thrust your leg forward, skillfully kicking the decapitated head in the air like a soccer ball.

"would you guys like to play soccer while we interrogate him?" you joked, giggling as you looked down at the decapitated head yelling at you to stop kicking him around like a ball.

"sometimes i forget how scary gojo can be..." kunikida sighed and shook his head before turning to face his colleague, "oi, dazai. are you even listening to me?!"

"you truly deserve the name belladonna. a beautiful lady, but a deadly poison at the same time!" dazai exclaimed dramatically, exaggerating by placing a hand to his chest only to run and kneel before you with his other free hand reaching for you, completely ignoring kunikida, "ahh~ i've just fallen for you even more my dear!"

"stop flirting in front of me, you stupid brats!" yelled the decapitated volcano head, "you two disgust me and stop kicking me!"

"you're just jealous that i'm her boyfriend and all you got was being able to hold hands with her!" dazai retorted, causing you and kunikida to sweat as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you tightly.

"oh, so you were jealous?~" you had a smug look on your face as you stopped tugging on dazai's hair and instead took hold of it to pull him close to your face.

"maybe just a little." dazai grumbled and pressed his cheek against yours.

"are you two done flirting with each other?!" kunikida exclaimed, glaring at you and dazai before stomping, "you two do realize our car burned down and we still have to question that.. that thing you're stepping on!"

"let's just give up on our assignment then!" dazai suggested cheerfully, radiating rainbows and sunshine.

"i agree with osamu, kunikida-kun!" you nodded, giving kunikida a peace sign while wrapping your arm around dazai's shoulder.

with that, you and dazai both got smacked on the head, and you ended up grumbling about it because dazai nullified your infinity due to his physical contact with you.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

[halcyoniawrites]

nxx + handwriting

(note: I'm fairly new to tumblr, came here after twt sold out to nft nonsense, so forgive me if the formatting here is terrible.)

my friends and I were recently talking about our handwriting and how we used to shape our letters as children, and since my brain is currently obsessed with tears of themis, I got to thinking about the nxx team's handwriting. quick note that these are all just my opinions and overthinking, certainly in the headcanon territory. and if there's anything canon about handwritings currently, my brain has forgotten it whoops anyhow,

--

rosa: neat print

- slightly curved, rounded letters; the letters every young lady was attempting to perfect back in middle school. neat, easy to read, absolute teacher's darling.

- the simplicity and organized nature of it all obscures the painful amount of time she spent trying to get it just right (though she herself rarely considers this when she marvels at the far more distinctive-looking letters of the other nxx members), as well as the insane effort that was trying to retain it when college lecturers would speak lightning-fast.

- uses shorthand at times to make up for it, but her handwriting. will. be. neat.

luke: chicken scratch

- everything's online anyway, he can type just fine, but luke never bothered to really sculpt his handwriting.

- his E's are just four sharp lines, W's and M's exactly how children are taught in kindergarten because, hey, if it's legible then who cares? (his teachers disagree. sometimes they would give up on trying to decipher his test answers and just assumed he was right because he's luke pearce.)

- rosa used to want to strangle him for his mysterious notes (detective tie, maybe?) when they would study together. they used her notes instead.

vyn: calligraphy-cursive

- forced to take handwriting lessons as a child due to his family's social standing, so his signature is absolutely beautiful. embellished cursive, can use fountain pens and studied calligraphy, the whole shebang.

- vyn admires the aesthetic of it all, but it's yet another reminder of his childhood, a sore spot. so he doesn't think much of it until rosa spends like a full ten minutes admiring his flowy, calligraphy-cursive handwriting.

- and then he is the smuggest smug who ever smugged.

- he hides it, of course, but he quietly leverages any potential opportunity to show his handwriting off to her. roses + instagrammable handwritten notes. bc he's a shameless opportunist (affectionate)

marius: ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

- but only on vyn's exams, and solely because marius knows it annoys the hell out of him.

- otherwise, his handwriting is "normal." tilts a little to the right, letters mostly connected for efficiency. generally prefers typing because it's faster,

- though he has molded his signature to perfection. everything that he is is constantly on display, and he knows better than to take that lightly.

- sometimes he might play around with different writing styles, sharp or curved, angled differently, extra embellishments etc., just in case "z" might need them in the future

artem: mix of cursive and print (and the real reason I wanted to write this post)

- artem has beautiful, flowy handwriting, when he has the time to make it so. he's careful to make it all legible, and uses a print style when he wants to make things especially clear.

- artem enjoys manually writing! one of his skill materials is a lovely fountain pen!!

- but.

- despite always having been curious about different kinds of calligraphy, he never really got into it because he's just... not a creative person, and calligraphy is for creative people

- besides, it's not really functional, now is it? it sounds really interesting, don't get him wrong!! but it doesn't really make sense for artem to spend a lot of time on something that probably wouldn't amount to much, something that isn't for him. he's terrible at art, and calligraphy is an aspect of creative expression.

- or so he tells rosa when she asks about it, promptly shattering her heart into two

[delaber]

Coming Home

Note: The fic no one asked for but I still wrote because I had to. Pretty sure this will be my last Rafa fic. It’s been a ride. Thank you!

Words: 7.7K

It was one of those blisteringly hot days where all you wanted to do was to laze about in front of a fan with your feet up and eat popsicles in the hopes of cooling just a tiny bit down. The sun was scorching and there was little to no wind at all, making it close to unbearable to be out of the shade for more than two minutes at a time - but unfortunately, you found yourself stuck in the middle of a very sunny lawn at Nat's garden-themed birthday party. Several times during the day, you had caught yourself looking jealously towards the enticing pool area at the end of the lawn but unfortunately had to settle for self-administered time-outs in the shade under various palm trees that were lining the garden.

At one of said time-outs, the birthday girl Nat approached you with a huge smile and two drinks in hand, "oh, there you are!" She exclaimed happily as she reached the same tree as you and handed you one of the piña coladas she was holding, "I've been looking all over!"

"Sorry," you smiled at your best friend and accepted the cocktail she was offering you, "I needed to cool down for a bit," you said while fanning your hand in front of your face

"Ooh, great idea - make room for me," Nat too stepped under the shade of the palm tree and immediately started fanning her top, "Jesus Christ, it's hot today!"

"Well, you were the one to insist on not having gazebos for your party," you shot your best friend a small smile, "it ruins the aesthetic," you mimicked her words from a few days ago with a laugh.

"Oh, shut up!" Nat let out a chortle, "I clearly made a terrible decision."

"Yeah, you should always listen to me and Diggs," you chuckled while having a sip of your tropical drink, enjoying how it slowly seemed to lower your core temperature as soon as the cold liquid hit your oesophagus.

"Hey, speaking of; have you seen him?" Nat squinted her eyes while shooting her phone a glance, "he's not answering any of my texts."

"I talked to him over by the snacks a little over an hour ago," you pointed over your shoulder, "he said he had to take off for a bit."

"He had to take off?" Nat furrowed her eyebrows, looking directly at you with disbelief written all over her face. From her expression alone, you could tell what was going through her head; as Nat's long-term boyfriend, Diggs knew exactly how important her birthday was to her. "That's seems a bit out of character..." she mumbled sadly.

"Aww, don't worry - he'll be back in a bit."

"What was so important for him to do on today of all days?" Nat sounded crestfallen.

"Come on Nat, what kind of an errand could he possibly have to run on his girlfriend's birthday?" You rolled your eyes.

"...But he already got me a present," she fiddled with the shiny new bracelet around her wrist.

"Maybe he's getting you a surprise," you shrugged mysteriously.

"Really?" The sad look on Nat's face was quickly replaced by wide eyes accompanied by a broad smile, "A surprise?"

"Don't tell him I said anything!" you laughed.

"Well, did he tell you what it was?"

"Nope... He probably knew we'd end up having this conversation," you chuckled.

"Slick bastard," Nat muttered under her breath before her voice returned to normal, "well, I hope he gets back soon. Of course I'm excited about the surprise but I don't want him missing out on the party."

As if on cue, a loud clanking noise coming from the shrub-embedded gate at the other end of the lawn had both you and Nat whip your heads around; Diggs had stepped inside the closed-off garden with a huge smile plastered on his face, stopping as soon as his feet hit the soft grass. He scanned the area for the birthday girl, and when his gaze finally landed on Nat, you watched how his face immediately turned soft as their eyes met across the lawn.

"Ah, there he is," Nat sighed happily as she took in her handsome boyfriend.

"...yeah, but he's empty handed," you added with a sigh after a quick scan for a birthday present in his open palms.

"Oh, you're right. Must be something he can stow away in a pocket..."

"Or something that's too heavy for him to carry alone," you added.

"Either way I'm just glad he's back," Nat said dreamily and send Diggs a small wave to which he replied with a sappy smile and a wink.

"Ah, I'm third-wheeling so hard right now," you gagged and with a grin turned your back towards Diggs in the hopes of making it less awkward for yourself.

"Yeah, sorry babe," Nat was biting her lower lip, trying to contain herself as she gazed at her handsome boyfriend over your shoulder.

"You look terribly confused all of a sudden," you laughed as you took in Nat's furrowed eyebrows.

"Yeah, he's just... standing there - why is he not moving?"

"What? He's standing completely still?" you arched an eyebrow, looking at Nat who still wasn't sparing you a glance.

"No, he's... looking for something on the other side of the hedges. And he's talking to someone - I think?"

"On the phone?"

"No... - oh wait, looks like he brought someone along."

"He brought someone?" you repeated curiously, "who?"

"I don't know. I don't recognise him..." Nat looked confused as she squinted her eyes, trying to focus on what was happening at the other end of the lawn. Then suddenly, her face changed, "- hey, is that...? No - wait... - Oh my god! It is!" She finally whipped her head around, looking directly at you with huge eyes, "he's here."

"...Who is?" you looked at her confused.

Nat didn't have time to answer your question before a male voice that you didn't immediately recognise rang from behind you, "Ey yo, Nat!"

"I'm sorry..." Nat whispered, "- but I have to..." she shot you a pained look before she moved past you with a squeal as she briskly walked away from the shade under the palm tree.

Confused, you spun around and scanned the lawn for Diggs and his mystery companion. Diggs had put on one of his more colourful outfits, and your eyes were immediately drawn to him and the smug smile he was wearing as he took in Nat who was now running at full-speed towards a sharp-dressed man to his right.

"Rafa!" Nat exclaimed loudly as she fell into the well-dressed man's arms, "you're here! I can't believe it!" she squealed.

The mere sound of his name made the hairs on the back of your neck stand while the blood quickly drained from your face. You instantly felt your throat go dry and your head dizzying as Nat's words rang in your ears. Rafa was here? Rafa as in Rafael? No, it couldn't be...

You adjusted your gaze slightly but sure enough; there he was. In the middle of the lawn in a tight embrace with your best friend. None other than Rafael Casal.

That. Fucking. Prick.

"You're kidding me..." you mumbled under your breath.

What the fuck was he doing here?!

You immediately felt your heart rate increasing and your palms getting sweaty as you took him in. He had grown a beard and cut his hair short, making the area above his forehead strangely lonely without its familiar swoop of hair that he had been so fond of back when you had known him. Your eyes travelled across his face that was plastered with the toothy grin you had once loved, and down to the strong arms that you had once known every vein of. There weren't any tattoos on his arms that you didn't recognise but he had definitely built more muscle mass since the last time you'd seen him.

You had to admit that even though you were more than regularly annoyed with him, he looked good - he just didn't look like Rafa. Not your Rafa at least. He looked more man than jokester, a ghost of the boy you'd once called yours.

When the tight embrace in front of you finally ended, Rafa straightened up and looked over Nat's shoulder, his green eyes immediately piercing through you. He did a quick scan of you from the tip of your sneakers to the top of your head, and if it hadn't been for the fact that you knew that you looked good in your new dress, you might have grown flustered under his intense stare - but you didn't. He could stare all he wanted and meanwhile use the opportunity to think about what he had let go of - what he was missing out on!

He looked you up and down a few times and when his eyes reached yours, he sent you a tentative look and a careful smile that you didn't reciprocate. After all, pretending that Rafael Casal meant absolutely nothing to you was something you had perfected over the years.

When he finally realised that your face would remain stone cold and without the smallest trace of friendliness, he quickly looked back at Nat and sent her a broad smile as she began mumbling something to him about how he was the last person she'd expected to see today.

Meanwhile, you used the opportunity to march over to Diggs and pull him aside; "what the hell do you think you're doing?!" You hissed at him, your voice so low that only he could hear.

"Oh, I'm just watching my best friend and my girl reconcile after years apart," he smirked, his eyes still locked on the two friends talking excitedly in the middle of the lawn.

"Don't get smart with me, Diggs!" You said through gritted teeth, "why the fuck didn't you tell me that he was coming? You know how I feel about him! He's a snake!"

"Jesus Christ," Diggs rolled his eyes, "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. If you'd known that I was picking him up at the airport, you would've ended up faking an excuse to leave before I'd returned."

"And with good reason! You know what he did! I don't want to talk to him!"

"You need to resolve this shit between the two of you," he shrugged, "You need to learn to be in the same room as him. It's been way too long already, and it cannot go on like this forever."

"Oh, watch me!" You huffed childishly, looking over at Rafa's dumb smile as he said something incoherent to Nat.

"Bruh..." Daveed cocked his head and sent you an unimpressed look, "He didn't come to mess with you. He came for Nat... He misses her."

"- but," you tried to interject but Diggs immediately cut you off: "- And before you say anything -" he continued, "- look at how happy she is!" he gestured to Nat who had now gone back to hugging Rafa tightly, "I know that her loyalty to you dictates that she has to hate him or whatever, but she has clearly missed him too. So if you can't do it for yourself, please just behave yourself for Nat."

A guilty pang hit your chest when you looked at Nat's happy smile, and you realised that she had cut off all contact with Rafa for your sake. "For the record; I never told her she couldn't talk to him," you mumbled.

"I know," Diggs nodded, "that's just how good of a friend she is."

"Alright... I'll behave for Nat," you sighed with a slight scowl before you quickly continued, "- but I'm not going to talk to him! No way!"

Diggs shot his hands in the air in a surrendering manner, "hey: normal, regular behaviour is all I'm asking for! You can ignore him for all I care - just be civil."

You didn't answer Diggs but instead continued to scowl as you watched Rafa and Nat having a giggle about something. The sound of Rafa's obnoxiously loud laugh swimming in your ear canals made your stomach go annoyingly warm, and for a millisecond you actually wished that he was laughing at something dumb alongside you instead of Nat - or at least you wished for it until you reminded yourself of what he had done, and the familiar anger towards him soon returned.

"Aw, come on," Diggs let out a laugh when he saw your angry face. He gave your shoulder a playful shove before he put his arm around you, "let's get you a drink - you look like you need it."

"Yes, I need it!" you groaned as he led you away from Nat and Rafa, "- and a big one too 'cause my dumb friends had my nemesis fly in from New York behind my back."

Diggs laughed a little at your miserable tone of voice, "cheer up," he chuckled, pulling you a little closer, "...and to be fair, I did the inviting. Nat had nothing to do with this."

"God, you're the worst," you mumbled as you reached the self-service bar, "I cannot believe you'd spring this on me after what he did!"

"Come on. It's been three years," Daveed shrugged and smiled down at you before he pulled out two clean glasses.

"That's easy for you to say when you weren't implicated in it," you mumbled sourly without looking directly at him.

"I may not have been directly involved, but you know I still got caught up in the middle," Diggs sent you a short look before he poured both of you a drink, "- and I still am."

"How?" You said incredulously, "I literally never talk about him."

"Exactly," Diggs shot you a sideways glance as he screwed off the cap of a tonic water, "you never talk about him. It's forced."

"It's forced? Since when is not talking about your asshole of an ex-boyfriend forced?"

"I know you miss him," Diggs said softly and sent you a careful look.

You forced yourself to scoff as you accepted the gin tonic from him, "I have no idea what you're talking about! I literally could not care less about Rafael at all," you looked across the lawn and immediately caught Rafa's gaze that was aimed directly at you. His eyes were huge, his gaze soft and longing. You thought to yourself that he looked as if he was the one who'd been wronged all those years ago. As if you were the one who had disappeared off to New York before royally fucking everything up. Which you absolutely weren't!

-

Rafa had been annoying as hell all night! Whenever you were no more than a few milliseconds away from letting down your hair and forget about the fact that your nemesis was attending the same party as you, you could hear his annoying foghorn of a laugh in the group of people next to you. And although you were trying your absolute best to avoid him completely, he still seemed to be all over, somehow always within a ten-foot radius from you, his cutting-torch-like voice constantly poking at your eardrums.

You were successful in avoiding him up until around midnight when you unfortunately were careless enough to lay down your guard for a few seconds too long, not realising that he had approached you at the self-service bar while you had been looking around for a lime for your drink. "Hey," you heard a low growl behind you as you were cutting the citrus into wedges.

You didn't have to look up from the table to know who the voice belonged to. "Rafael," you said neutrally while screwing off the cap of the tequila bottle you were holding, pouring up a couple of ounces of liquid without sparing him a glance.

"Hmm... Ra-fa-el," he repeated slowly, dragging out the name and smacking his lips as if savouring how it rolled off his tongue, "you know what? I don't think I've ever heard you call me Ra-fa-el before."

With your gaze still firmly placed on the tequila-filled glass in front of you, you arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything as you continued working on the cocktail, desperate to not give in to his antics.

You could feel his gaze burning on your skin, his eyes following your every move as you poured Cointreau into the cocktail glass and quietly waited for him to leave you alone again. He didn't budge, however, and when he realised that you intended to keep your silence, he quietly asked, "...How are you doing?"

"Great," you said and pressed your lips firmly together.

"Good..." Out the corner of your eye, you could see his head bopping up and down as he took you in, "I - uhm - I always liked you in green, you know," he grinned cockily. You knew he was just acting this way to get your attention but annoyingly enough; it was working for him. His comment made you dart your eyes towards him, shooting him an unimpressed sigh that he reciprocated with a careful smile, anxious to see if his compliment had tugged at your heartstrings. But even though his words had made your head dizzy and your diaphragm contract considerably, you still managed to keep a straight face as you took him in. His gaze was soft and satisfied, and a strange feeling hit your guts when you looked into his green eyes for the first time in over three years. Seeing the familiarity of his overly confident gaze made you realise that he hadn't exactly turned into the destructive villain that you had made him out to be after he had moved to New York three years ago. Behind the masculine beard and the buzzcut, the jokester with the soft chin and the long quiff was still in there. Your Rafa was still in there, and for a tenth of a second it made your heart ache as you wished for a time that he had long ago ruined.

He had clearly realised that you were checking him out because slowly, yet surely, his smirk grew considerably while he maintained eye-contact. It made you furious! He. Did. Not. Have. The. Upper. Hand. Taking in your angry expression, he shifted the weight on his feet while giving out a low chuckle, "I guess what I mean to tell you is that you look good. Like really good! - even when you're fuming."

"You look old," you stated flatly to make him stop feeling so overly confident.

To your dismay, however, he wasn't the least bit hurt by your comment but instead spluttered happily and let out a loud laugh, making the crow's feet around his green irises dance around as his eyes squinted tightly together in amusement. He looked irritatingly handsome, and it made you even more annoyed with him; he wasn't supposed to be amused by your low blow, he was supposed to be devastated!

You chewed your bottom lip as he annoyingly confident ran a hand through his beard and took you in with his forever playful smile. The fairy lights surrounding the self-service bar caught something shiny around his wrist as he caressed his chin, and you recognised the piece of metal immediately. It made you scoff, "you really still have that?" You nodded towards the golden band around his arm that you had given him for his 25th birthday some years ago. Even though it had been quite expensive, you'd figured that he had thrown it out long ago.

"You're kidding me?" He said incredulously, furrowing his brows and fiddling with the shiny links around his arm, "of course I still have this! It means a lot to me, I wear it every day!" He sent you a tentative smile, once again checking to see if he was so lucky that his words had defrosted you.

He wasn't.

"What?" He asked with an amused twinkle in his eyes when he took in your unimpressed face, "I swear; It's one of my most treasured possessions."

"Rafael... Just..." You let out a small sigh and folded your arms across your chest, "- just drop the pleasantries and tell me why you're really here," you demanded, "I highly doubt you're here to small talk."

"Aw come on - I'm just here for Nat's party. I didn't come to stir shit up. I promise!" He looked at you with honest eyes, still with a trace of a smile on his lips.

"Then why are you attacking me at the drinks table?" You were surprised to hear how steady you managed to keep your voice when it felt as if your entire body was shaking.

"I just wanted to say hi," he shot you a careful look, taking in every movement of your facial muscles, "You've been avoiding me all day."

"Wonder why," you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, looking away from him.

"I know it seems like an unnecessary question but are you still angry with me?" He asked, his smile still in place but suddenly a bit stiff.

"I was angry at first. Now I don't really care about you anymore," you smiled overly-sweetly.

"Yeah okay," Rafa's stiff smile faltered a bit and it looked as if you'd finally managed to knock him slightly off his course. This probably wasn't how he had imagined the conversation to go. It was a nice feeling to see him slightly panicked. "Ehm..." he smacked his lips, "would you like me to leave?"

"Yes," you breathed, but even you could hear the thickness of the lie in your throat. Even though you were keen on keeping your distance to him, you were still terribly curious as to why he had passed you up three years after your horrible break-up. After all, it had ended in lies and angry tears.

His smirk turned amused, and he could barely hold back a triumphant chuckle when he spoke, "I can tell you're not being serious," he tilted his head to the side.

"My God, you are insufferable!" you said through gritted teeth, "just tell me why you're here!"

"Well..." he licked his lips before he slowly stated, "Sofía's pregnant."

He had barely finished pronouncing the word pregnant before you felt the blood immediately drain from your face. "You're... having a baby?" You breathed and blinked a few times, bracing yourself for his answer. After everything that had happened, you couldn't believe that the mental image of Rafa with someone else was still able to make your stomach ache horribly, and you were immediately reminded of the fact that you hadn't left him because you had fallen out of love with him.

"Am I having a...-? Oh God no!" He laughed when he understood, "Sofía as in my sister! My sister is pregnant! I'm about to be an uncle. Tio Rafa."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you when his words finally settled, and the blood quickly returned to your cheeks making them unbearably hot. "Well, congratulations then, I guess," you mumbled, trying to conceal your flustered face.

"Thanks!" He smiled proudly and put on a goofy expression.

"I still fail to see what your sister's pregnancy has to do with me."

"Well, you see..." he licked his lips, "Sofía and her boyfriend are constantly talking about baby-stuff, and who in their lives are important to them, and insurances, and dying wills, and things like that - and I guess it kinda made me think about stuff in my life too," he gave out an awkward shrug, shooting you a careful look, "you know... Unresolved matters and so on..."

"...and then you thought about me?" You scoffed.

"Yeah," he nodded carefully, "I miss you."

"Rafael..." you closed your eyes and sighed in disbelief.

"Oof," he winced and it made you open your eyes and look at him. "- could you stop calling me that?" He looked pained, "It's - it's weird!"

"Well it is your name, isn't it?"

"I know, I know... Hearing it from you is just - it's just weird..." he mumbled while rubbing his neck, "only strangers call me by my first name."

"We're practically strangers."

"We are?" He looked taken aback.

You shot him a sideways glance, "yes, we are Rafael," you sighed and watched how his nostrils did an involuntary twitch at the sound of his given name.

He merely grunted while shooting you a weird look.

"What?" You asked incredulously, "you don't agree?"

"No. No, not at all," he shook his head, "I know you."

"Not anymore you don't," you turned back to your drink, stirring it a little just to give your shaking hands something to do.

"I know every freckle of your body..." he said quietly, his voice so full of emotion that it made your heart ache. "I know why you have a scar on your left knee," he continued, "I know all your guilty pleasures. What makes you tick. Your likes. Your dislikes. Of course I realise that we didn't end optimally but you can't pretend that we don't know each other," he ran a hand through his beard.

As soon as the words had escaped his mouth, you shot him an angry look, "we didn't end optimally?!" You hissed at him, "well, it was your fucking choice to end it that way, wasn't it?"

"Ah, so you are still mad at me," He stated flatly, taking in your expression.

You managed to turn off some of the fire you felt in your eyes before you spoke, "No I'm not, Rafael. As I said, I don't care about you at all," you said coldly, "Is that all? Can I go back to my best friend's birthday party now, or are you in the mood to ruin yet another one of my nights?" You shot him a deadpan look.

"I can't force you to talk to me," he said quietly, his eyes huge with disappointment.

"What do you even want to talk about?" Your voice was laced with frustration, "it's been three years! I've moved on - I don't need this, Rafa!" You wanted to smack yourself when you realised that you had let his pet name slip.

"I just want to apologise. Properly..." he said quietly while awkwardly rubbing his elbow, decent enough to let the use of his nickname slide.

"Apologising is not going to change what happened."

"I know... but you still deserve a proper apology from the guy who hurt you."

You gave out a scoff but didn't say anything.

"Look," Rafa continued, "can you please just give me ten minutes alone with you? Some place quiet. Ten minutes and I swear, I'll never talk to you again if you don't want me to. I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I think we both need it."

You weighed the pros and cons. Maybe it would actually be good for you to get some closure so you could finally forget about him? You decided that you might as well try. It'd be nice to stop thinking about him for good. "Fine! You have ten minutes and not a second more!" you said sternly, "but let me be very clear about one thing: I am not doing this for you!"

"I know," he nodded slowly, and followed you to a deserted bench a little away from the rest of the party.

He sat down next to you with a content sound, "Cig?" he asked while holding out a crumbled package.

"I quit," you pushed the package away, your fingers briefly brushing over his. It made him smile slightly but he quickly concealed it by clearing his throat.

"Good for you," Rafa nodded while lighting a cigarette for himself, taking a long drag while looking at you. "So..." he said quietly, "I hear that you finally landed that job you used to work so hard for."

"If you just wanted to smoke cigarettes and small talk, we didn't have to go all the way back here," you crossed your arms.

"Tough crowd," he laughed, "come on. Just humour me for a bit... I miss talking to you."

You scoffed, "you have nine minutes and fourty-five seconds left, Casal."

"Nine minutes and fourty-five seconds," he nodded in agreement, "so... that job of yours - congratulations! Your hard work finally paid off, huh?" He tried again.

"Have you been stalking my linked-in?" You said sourly.

"Nah, Diggs gives me little updates," Rafa chuckled awkwardly, "-or he did for a while at least. Up until about a year ago when he got real angry with me," Rafa clenched his teeth tightly together, looking uncomfortable.

"Diggs got angry?" You said in disbelief. Out of the two, Rafa was definitely the hot-headed one.

"Oh shit, yeah!" He nodded with a laugh, "I know it's hard to believe because it's such a rare occurrence but that just made it so much scarier! For a second, I thought he would punch me in the face!"

"Well, that should teach you to keep your abnormally large nose out of my business," you scoffed slightly.

"That's what he said too," Rafa chuckled, "-and that if I wanted to know how you were doing, I should give you a call myself," he sent you a small smile, "- but I knew you would have my balls in a wrench if I suddenly called you up out of the blue."

"Correct."

He smiled, "yet here we are. Talking quietly without screaming at each other. My balls free as ever."

"You're lucky I left my wrench at home today, Casal."

He let out an amused snort and took another drag of the cigarette, "yeah, I can't believe my luck this evening," he smiled without looking at you, "hey, while we're on the subject of updates; I - uhm - I also want to let you know that I heard about your dad. I was very sad to learn about his passing."

You felt a sharp pain in your chest, and you held your arms a little closer to your chest, "Diggs told you about that too, huh?" You mumbled, unable to look Rafa in the eye. Even though little over two years had passed since your dad had died, thinking about him still hurt.

You felt Rafa nod beside you, "Yeah. He called me right after it happened... I know your dad meant a great deal to you. Meant a great deal to me too to be honest..." he sighed.

"I know..." you thought of the special bond the two men had always shared. Even long before you and Rafa had fallen in love, your dad had hoped that you would end up together.

"I was seconds away from flying home to see him off at the funeral, you know - but given how you and I ended things, I didn't think you should deal with me on top of losing your dad..." he shot you a sideways glance.

You decided not to tell Rafa about how you had woken up on the morning of the funeral, wishing that he had been there. Wishing that everything had magically gone back to normal overnight. Instead, you merely mumbled, "you should've come. My dad would've loved that... He always liked you."

"Yeah, I liked him too," Rafa nodded, "I still think about him every time I hear a terrible joke or see someone in a Laker's shirt."

"Oh god, all those fucking shirts," you groaned and thought of the hundreds of basketball shirts that your dad had had stacked neatly away in his closet. You couldn't believe that you had completely forgotten about them.

Rafa chuckled, "what did you end up doing with them? I imagine that you donated them in your dad's spirit."

"Naturally," you nodded and felt yourself uncross your arms for the first time since you'd sat down. "My mom kept one, and the orphanage got most but we auctioned off the rarest ones and gave the money to charity. That was what he wanted, you know."

"Ah, what an icon," Rafa sighed, "well, you should be proud of him and the work he did for the community. He was a great man. A proper role model for the bay."

You nodded in agreement while scanning Rafa. It was nice to talk about your dad with someone who knew him but who hadn't seen him fragile and sick. Someone who didn't think of him as his diagnosis, and you realised that for the first time since his passing, things actually seemed fairly back to normal. Sitting side by side with Rafa actually felt welcome and normal. Maybe you'd grant him a couple of minutes more of your time.

Rafa's eyes skirted away from you, and he nervously cleared his throat before he continued, "Uhm... not that it matters but did you - did you ever tell him about what happened between us?"

"My dad? No..." you shook your head with a sad sigh, "he loved you like his own son, and I didn't want to break his heart. So I just told him that we couldn't make the whole long distance-thing work."

"Oh, right... Thanks," Rafa nodded.

"I didn't do it for you."

"Still... I'm glad he didn't get to know that side of me. I'm not so sure he would've liked me if he'd known the truth about how I broke his daughter's heart."

"I'm not so sure either..."

"I - I hated myself after, you know," He looked over at you with a pained expression after a couple of seconds of silence, "I have never regretted anything more in my entire life."

"What? Not going to the funeral?"

"No. You know... What I did..." he said sheepishly.

"Oh..."

"The minute I woke up I - I wanted to undo everything," he looked at you pleadingly, "I felt so fucking terrible. Still do. I can't even think about it without wanting to stab myself. It is without a doubt the worst thing I have ever done, and I am so sorry for the pain it caused you," he said softly, "please understand that I didn't do it because I didn't love you. It wasn't because you weren't enough or something like that. You were perfect to me. I take full responsibility for the fuck-up, and I am so, so horribly fucking sorry!"

"Rafa, it's..." you gulped, the words somehow stuck in your throat. You were having a hard time acting as if his words meant nothing to you.

He carefully put his hand on top of yours before he continued, "do you think we would've been able to work around the long distance if I hadn't...?"

"Please don't..." you whispered and sent him a soft yet warning look, "I don't want to talk about what might've been."

"No, no of course not..." he nodded quietly, "I just - I can't believe it's been three years... Fuck baby I've missed you so bad," he carefully moved his thumb over the back of your hand and searched your face with furrowed eyebrows, "You have no idea of the relief I felt when I finally saw you today," he said quietly.

"Don't do this..." you closed your eyes and whispered.

Rafa continued as if he hadn't heard you, "I know we didn't work out the way neither of us pictured it but that doesn't mean you weren't the best thing that's ever happened to me..." he sounded desperate, and you couldn't look at him. The words he was saying was making you want to fall into his arms, "...I never should've let you go."

"Rafa," you sighed and summoned all your strength and looked into his glossy eyes, "you didn't let me go," your voice barely a whisper, "I broke up with you."

"I know, I know," his voice was oozing with pain, "but I hope you realise that I would've done everything to win you back. I would've come back to California if you'd only asked me to. Fuck the record deal."

"There was a reason why I didn't ask you to come back," you shot him a glance in warning, "you know that."

"Still, I should have done... something."

"You did exactly what I asked of you."

"Yeah... I stayed the fuck away from you," he mumbled. You could tell that he was replaying your last tearful conversation in his mind before he heaved a big gulp of air and glanced over at you with a valiant look in his eyes, "but I've come back to remind you who I really am."

"You don't have to remind me of anything... I remember who you were. What we had."

"Then let me be that guy for you again," he looked at you pleadingly.

"What's the point when you're still 3,000 miles away?" You sighed, "It's not as if we'll happen upon each other at the supermarket and go out for spontaneous coffees."

"Could be," he said with a small shrug, "I - uh - I'm moving back," he nervously ran his fingers through his short hair, "I want to be close to Sofía and the baby - and you."

"You're coming home?" You gulped. You couldn't believe him. Was this a good thing?

"Yes," he breathed, "And I want to try things out with you again. Please give me another chance..." his fingers moved from your hand to your knee. You briefly considered his words while you felt his thumb caress you through the green fabric of your dress. Right now, you were fighting hard to not give in to his embrace and the familiar set of lips in front of you, but you weren't sure how you'd feel about it come morning, so you remained poised.

He sensed your hesitation, however, and carefully put his forehead to yours "come on, baby," he said quietly and softly kissed your cheek, his lips warm against your skin.

"I don't know," you gulped as you involuntarily closed your eyes and breathed him in.

"It's okay," he said with whispered words, the stubble on his chin rough against your cheekbone, "you don't have to give me an answer right away," he gently kissed your jawline while his hand travelled from your kneecap to your fingertips, clearly desperate to remind you of what you could have back if you only agreed to let him in again.

"Rafa, I don't know," you said quietly although it was becoming harder and harder to remain steadfast and ignore his burning lips on your skin.

"Just consider it," he kissed the corner of your mouth, "I'll crawl. I'll beg," he whispered and pursed his lips against yours, "I'll do anything," he moved his body closer to yours, "just consider it," he whispered and placed a particularly gentle kiss to your already buzzing lips, "please baby."

You couldn't help yourself any longer and you involuntarily twitched your lips against his before you felt yourself being completely engulfed by him. The passionate kiss you shared was soft and bittersweet, reminding both of you of what had been.

His hands were caressing your neck and hairline and he hummed into your mouth as he savoured the feeling of finally having you kiss him back. "Fuck I've missed this," he gulped when he broke away and put his forehead to yours, his hand still on your cheek, "does this mean you'll at least consider it?"

"I'm still angry with you," you whispered without really answering his question.

"I know, love..." he caressed your cheek, "I was stupid," he searched your face, "it was a stupid mistake."

"Don't reduce it to a stupid mistake, Rafa," you whispered.

"Poor choice of words," he mumbled, "what I mean to say is that I hope you can forgive it," he placed a soft kiss to your jawline, "- forgive me."

"Even if I did forgive you, how do you expect me to ever trust you again?" You said quietly, and you knew that you couldn't dance around the elephant in the room any longer. "Rafa you had another girl's lips wrapped around your dick not even twenty-four hours after crying in my arms at the airport," you said with a heavy heart and watched him cringe his face at the harsh truth, "twenty-four after you'd sworn you'd do anything to make our relationship work despite the distance."

Rafa was still wincing when he spoke, "not that it's any excuse at all but I was exhausted and drunk and heartbroken," he croaked, "I had just left the love of my life behind in California... and this other girl was suddenly there and she got me high as balls and she-" he sighed without finishing his own sentence, "trust me when I say that it was the worst night of my life," he closed his eyes in a sad attempt at holding the tears at bay.

"Well at least you got a nice blowjob out of it." You smiled humourlessly, "I just wound up with all the lies you threw in my face."

"I never lied to you..." he mumbled, "I came clean as soon as you confronted me."

"How big of you!" you scoffed.

"Baby... I didn't tell you because I was so embarrassed," he gulped, the tears now evident under his green irises, "I wanted to throw myself off a cliff! I knew that if I told you, it would be the definite end of us," he looked at you with huge, bloodshot eyes, "I couldn't do that."

"I need you to understand that the worst part of it wasn't that you cheated on me. The worst part was that you pretended that nothing had happened at all," you couldn't tell whether the tears you felt in the corners of your eyes were from being angry or sad, "Imagine how dumb I felt when Diggs finally broke down and told me what you'd done," you said and Rafa suddenly couldn't hold back the tears any longer either.

"I wanted to tell you. Trust me, I wanted to," he sobbed.

"You had three weeks to say something to me for fuck's sake!"

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered.

"We facetimed every night for three weeks and you didn't say anything! You made a complete fool of me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" his eyes fixed at his own feet.

"Rafa, look at me!" you said in a harsh tone of voice.

Immediately, his red eyes found yours. He looked as ashamed of himself as he possibly could, "I was a coward," he whimpered, "-and I knew didn't deserve you."

"Then what makes you think you deserve me now?" You said coldly.

"I have spent the last three years trying to forget about you and what happened but no matter what I do, you still linger in the back of my mind. Even after all this time you're the only one I can ever see myself with. I always return to you. On sleepless nights, you're dancing on the back of my eyelids. I see you in other girls when I pass them by on the street. You're in all my poetry. All my songs. I think about you constantly. Maybe I don't deserve you but I at least had to try."

"Rafa you broke my heart," you looked him dead in the eye and he visibly gulped, "you betrayed my trust and you did it in the most despicable way I could ever imagine. It's been three years and I still cannot believe that you of all people would do that to me. You were my ride or die."

"I can still be that," he said desperately, clinging on to the last bit of hope he had in him, "I'm still that guy! The guy who cheated on you that wasn't me! I wasn't myself! I'm aware of the agony it caused, and trust me: I've learned from my mistakes," he looked at you resolutely before he whispered, "I'm still your ride or die."

His words made your stomach hurt and you felt the heat rise throughout your body as your throat clenched tightly together. You felt suffocated and stood up from the bench so fast that black spots distorted your vision. "I can't do this!" you said desperately, "it's too much!"

"Okay," he gulped, looking up at you with desperation written across his face.

"I have to go back to the party. Nat expects me to be there for her."

"Alright," he gulped. He was having a hard time concealing his obvious disappointment.

"Don't look at me like that!" you whimpered, "what did you expect? That you could shed a few tears and everything would be alright again?"

"No, of course not..."

"Then don't look so fucking disappointed! You're making me feel like the bad guy and I haven't even done anything!"

"I know," he gulped.

"Yet you still think a drunk conversation erases everything? That I will take you back just because you're feeling sorry? You obviously don't realise the damage you caused."

"Then tell me!" He too stood up from his seat, "I want to make things alright again," he pleaded.

"I don't need you to make things alright again! I was doing just fine before you showed up!"

"Okay, I'm sorry," he sheepishly picked at his own elbow, "I just thought that maybe you felt the same way about me."

"I don't want you back!" You said roughly.

As soon as the harsh words had escaped your lips, you could see the heartbreak on his face; his cheeks paled, his lips quivered, a single tear left his right eye as he looked away. He ran his hand over the corners of his mouth, unable to look directly at you, "right," he said as a fresh set of tears formed in his eyes, "I'm sorry... I - uh - I had to try,” he sobbed although he was fighting to hold his voice steady, “I - uhm - I don't know what to say…”

"Don't say anything..."

"...so this is it?" His eyes found yours, "...for good?"

You nodded slowly but didn't say anything.

You watched how he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly without any words escaping him. He looked flustered, panicked almost when you turned around and stepped away from him. You could hear him panic-shift around behind you but he still didn't talk. He had probably expected you to take him back with open arms - anything but this!

Good. He deserved to fry a little.

And maybe you'd call him tomorrow. Just maybe.

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Float Like A Butterfly... Ch.6 ...Sting Like A Bee

Summary: An unexpected ally appears before Marinette. The only problem is, he's stumbled onto something he shouldn't have. And she needs it back.

---------------------------------

Marinette was having a terrible day.

First she shows up late with the principal accessory of the Gabriel line's Fashion Week showing. Fashion Week! Marinette was looking forward to it all month! 

Next Audrey Bourgeois, Style Queen herself, treats the hat Marinette worked so hard on like gum on the bottom of her shoe. Sure Adrien had been super encouraging but he hadn't seen the look of utter contempt on Audrey Bourgeois face. No one could look that disgusted all the time!

Speaking of Adrien, he didn't make getting over him any easier by being so kind.

And if that wasn't enough Marinette's brain insisted on using Chat Noir's Miraculous to fight the akumatized villain. Again! She didn't want to think about Chat Noir right now because... Because... Marinette blinked rapidly. Deep breath... Because thinking about Chat Noir was painful.

But that wasn't even the worst part.

"Don't worry, Tikki. We'll get the box right after the show," Marinette stage whispered so as to not alert her parents. Who walked not even a meter away.

Tikki let out a concerned whine. Oh, this was a bad idea. She could feel it. Marinette was right that they couldn't get away from her parents beforehand. But that only made Tikki even more anxious to get searching. And Marinette really didn't need something else to worry about on top of... everything else.

She hoped no one found it.

----------------

Chloe's day was ridiculous. Utterly, ridiculous!

She sat next to her mother as Adrien walked down the runway. Lingering dread squashed and thrown into the very back of her mental walk-in closet where she kept unimportant things. Like shoes she never wore anymore, problematic outfits and lingering guilt that totally wasn't her's. Adrien wasn't slowly disintegrating anymore so why dwell on the past?

Adrien's performance was flawless and Chloe was absolutely certain she appreciated his efforts more than anyone else... Even if Alya Cesaire was livestreaming.

The show went off without a hitch. Adrien seemed fine but then he was almost as good at pretending as she was. Chloe eyed him as Gabriel's lackey, um, assistant pulled him along. Not physically, of course. It was more of a metaphorical pulling.

Ugh, Gabriel Agreste started talking with Chloe's mother through his assistant's tablet. Like, yeah, apologizing to the Queen of Style was a no brainer. But he could have at least come in person! Not like Gabriel was doing anything important besides being the world's richest hermit.

... And Dupain-Cheng was there too. Of course she was. At least her mother would put Dupain-Cheng in her place. Chloe felt herself smirk at the thought.

Adrien raised an eyebrow. As though reading her mind.

Chloe pretended not to notice. No petty satisfactions here! No, sir! But it wasn't like the Queen of Style was going to say anything about Dupain-Cheng's hat except-

"It's the most exceptional thing I've ever seen!" Audrey Bourgeois announced.

Exact- Wait, what!?

"You're a visionary, Marinette! Glitter's had its day..."

Chloe's ears rang, drowning out her mother's voice. Exceptional? Her? Over a- a- a hat!? A vice squeezed Chloe's chest with cruel precision. When her own present was rejected without even unwrapping it!? Chloe's fists shook as she bit her tongue.

"Isn't that nice for your friend, Chloe dearest?" Andre Bourgeois asked.

"It's ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!" Chloe whirled on her mother. "I've never been to New York with you and you're taking Marinette Dupain-Cheng!?" She spat.

"I'm afraid I have a last minute meeting to attend, my dear Audrey," Gabriel announced from the tablet. "Nathalie, bring Adrien home immediately."

Adrien's attention snapped from Chloe to Gabriel. "But, Father, I-"

"Do not embarrass me in front of the Bourgeois," Gabriel snapped, ending the call.

Jaw clenching shut, Adrien stared at nothing with stormy eyes as Nathalie led him away.

"I'm taking her because she's exceptional, Claudette. Uh- Chloe," Audrey stated matter-of-factly, the Agrestes already forgotten.

"I'm exceptional too!" Chloe shot back.

Audrey inspected her white gloves, bored of this exchange. "The only exceptional thing about you, my dear-" Audrey deigned to glance at her daughter. "-is your mother."

Chloe's blood boiled as she shook off Andre's hands on her shoulders, standing straighter. "I'll show you how exceptional I can be!" she promised.

Just as an akuma entered Chloe's present.

---------------

Alya was having an amazing day!

Her livestreams hadn't gotten this many new views since she almost got sacrificed by Pharaoh. The Ladyblog's activity was up. And Ladybug chose her as the Black Cat!

Sure it was weird that Ladybug didn't want to talk about it. But still! Black Cat! Alya tried to contain her grin as she thought about being Ladybug's partner for a day...

Her pace on the sidewalk slowed, enthusiasm dampening a little... Setting her face in determination Alya skipped into gear. All the more reason to piece together what happened! And she'd start with-

A burst of yellow light shot forth from the Grand Palais. Jolting Alya out of her thoughts as the newest akuma victim gave their villain speech from the roof.

"I am Queen Glitter! And from now on the only exceptional person in Paris will be me!"

Alya ran... straight for the villain who was obviously Chloe as she summoned a cloud of glitter and shapped it into a collection of accessories. The constructs restricting the movement of whoever they landed on. Scarves wrapping people's legs together or tying them to lampposts. Hats covering people's eyes as they tried to yank them off. There was even someone with his hands stuck in high heels. Queen Glitter made a giant floating scarf to stand on and took off in a random direction; leaving a trail of gaudy accessories in her wake.

Great. It was going to take forever to catch up to her now! Taking cover in an alleyway so Queen Glitter's sparkly formal wear wouldn't notice her, Alya scanned the street. Mentally kicking herself for not having recorded the villain speech for the Ladyblog.

"Looks like you're raring to go," Ladybug observed as she landed next to Alya. A familiar box in her hand.

"Ladybug! Didn't think I'd be helping out again so soon!" Alya held out her palm and Ladybug placed the Black Cat Miraculous in her hands again.

"Y'know the drill, right?" Ladybug's eyes wandered to the people in various states of running-for-their-lives.

"Give it back when we're done and don't take it personally," Alya paraphrased as Plagg emerged in a ball of light when she placed the ring on her finger.

"Ladyblog girl again?” Plagg gave her a once over. Ears flat against his head but swishing tail betraying his apprehension. "Well, at least Alya's not blue boy."

“He wasn’t that-“ Ladybug shook her head. “Y’know what, never mind.”

Glancing between them Alya filed that tidbit away for later. "C'mon, Plagg. We did great together!"

"You were okay," Plagg acknowledged. "Could've used more cat puns."

Alya chuckled. Of course he'd like those. With a -slightly forced- encouraging smile from Ladybug, Alya called out: “Plagg, transforme-moi!”

Green lightning traveled from Chat Noir’s ring across both arms and down her torso. A green sash wrapping around her waist and trailing into a tail. Running her clawed gloves through her hair as cat ears materialized. Said hair puffing up into an afro. Armor padding her shoulders and torso. Alya flexed her fingers to get used to the feeling. Chat Ombre's suit still felt strange on her skin compared to Rena Rouge.

Ladybug leapt onto the rooftops and Chat Ombre followed her lead. Racing towards the villain while avoiding her glitter. "So what's the plan?"

"Queen Glitter is basically a reskin of Style Queen," Ladybug thought aloud.

"But without that annoying habit of turning into a cloud!" Chat Ombre supplied.

Ladybug launched her yo-yo at a pedestrian and yanked him away from Queen Glitter's constructs as they passed by. "But she can spread her power over a wider area."

"Don't worry, Ladybug. We'll be- Look out!" Alya tackled Ladybug out of the way as a trio of glittery top hats zoomed past.

"Your reign is over Ladybug and wannabe Chat Noir!" Queen Glitter announced as she floated over them. Her appearance was similar to Style Queen except her crown was even bigger and gaudier. A foux glitter scarf around her shoulders. "I don't even care if you don't give me your Miraculous! I'll simply immobilize you and take them by force!"

They evaded a flurry of coats by jumping down to the street. "Really?" Chat Ombre called out. "That all you can throw at us? A tacky outfit?"

"Wouldn't be the first time!" Ladybug agreed.

"No one ever appreciates my gifts!" Queen Glitter stomped her foot. "Fine then. Why don't we try something more expensive!" Raising her hands she lifted two cars wrapped with giant bows into the air.

Alya's eyes widened. "Oh, shi-" Chat Ombre evaded Chloe's attacks as the villain played wack-a-chat. Glitter accessories flying in and attempting to restrict their movements as well.

Ladybug wrapped one of the vehicles with her yo-yo and spun it back at Queen Glitter.

The bright red sports car hurled towards her and- She stopped it with the palm of her hand. "You'll have to do better than that if- Where'd you go!?" Queen Glitter scanned the empty street, rising higher for a better vantage point.

Chat Ombre locked eyes with her for a second before a chimney obscured her line of sight. "Somehow I don't think that bought us much time." Alya voiced as a wave of clothing rose over the city.

Ladybug spotted a strip of blue between the rooftops. Thinking quickly, Marinette grabbed Alya's hand and turned them towards the Seine. Diving into its waters with a torrent of glitter in their wake.

Queen Glitter's constructs crashed into the river and washed away with the current.

Chat Ombre made for the surface once it was clear but Ladybug pulled her back. Chat's staff in her hand and yo-yo on her face. Pointing towards the magic tool Ladybug offered it to Alya.

Nodding, Alya quickly pressed it to her lips and took a deep breath, sweet oxygen filling her lungs. Giving Ladybug a thumbs up once she didn't feel like her chest was on fire.

Grabbing her hand Ladybug led Alya further upstream until they found a boat.

Gasping the (relatively) fresh air Alya examined Chat's staff. "I didn't know it could do that."

"Yeah, the Miraculous are full of surprises. And we'll need one of our own to beat Queen Glitter. Lucky Charm!"

A spotted snorkel fell into Ladybug's hands.

"Don't we already have one of those?" Chat Ombre asked.

Ladybug's brow furrowed as she stared at it. "Yeah... Wait, Queen Glitter's powers don't work underwater!"

"So, all we need to do is get her there!" 

Ladybug glanced at a pair of recycling bins. "And I know just how to sneak up on her."

Chat Ombre grinned. She liked this plan.

---------------

Chat Ombre hated this plan!

It had all gone smoothly. The glitter constructs ignoring the recycling bins they used as disguises. Snake style. Chloe was dumbfounded when she saw them. Enough to let them take the elevator up to the Grand Paris' rooftop where Queen Glitter set up her makeshift throne. Giving them the opportunity to tackle her towards the Seine.

Unfortunately, Queen Glitter could make constructs of any size. Like, for example, a wide brimmed hat big enough to stretch from either bank of the Seine.

"You were going to make me��wear this?" Queen Glitter held up the Lucky Charm- "No thanks!" -and struck it across her knee.

Alya winced as the villain broke Ladybug's insta-win button in half. "Please, tell me you have a plan?" Chat Ombre glanced at the spotted hero currently wrapped up in an extra long scarf just like she was. The floating constructs squeezing just a little bit more as Ladybug struggled against them. Alya tried bending her wrist to Cataclysm her restraints but her right hand was held away from the rest of her body.

"No planning! Not that it'll do you any good. I've already won! Me! Queen Glitter! MWAHAHAHAH- Do you mind? I'm trying to savour the moment!" Chloe snapped as Papillon's emblem glowed over her face.

Alya's head turned from an increasingly frantic Ladybug to the annoyed villain.

"Of course I'm going to take their Miraculous! Why wouldn't I take their Miraculous?"

"An excellent question, your Highness!"

Three pairs of eyes snapped towards the source of the unexpected voice.

"... Who the heck are you supposed to be?" Queen Glitter demanded.

"Aristos! At your service!" He bowed with a flourish, giving Alya a good look at the bee shaped comb at the base of his ponytail. Blond hair highlighted with black stripes. Goggles obscuring his face, making his green eyes hard to read despite the grin on his lips. Suit mostly yellow with black, V-shaped stripes on his torso, forearms and lower legs. Three hexagons on his chest giving the impression of honeycombs.

"No no no no no no." Ladybug stared at Aristos, not realizing that she was speaking aloud.

...Well, that can't be good, Alya thought.

"Ha! Did you really think more insects would help, Ladybug?" The villain mocked. Her constructs closing in on the interloper.

Aristos' smile took on a darker edge. "I'm not with her, your Majesty. I'm here to pledge myself to the most exceptional Queen I've ever seen! Really, where does Papillon get off talking to such a glittery figure as your Highness like that?"

Alya blinked. Really? Even Chloe wouldn't fall for-

Raising her hand the villain halted her constructs' advance. "Hmm, well at least you know how to treat royalty." Queen Glitter offered her bejeweled fingers. "I guess you can be my underling."

Ah. Right. Never underestimate the power of Chloe's ego.

The Bee, Alya was ninety-nine percent sure he was the Bee, took Chloe's offered hand and leaned down. Lips hovering over the back of her hand. "Oh! That reminds me your Highness, I have a gift for you."

Queen Glitter's eyes shone. "A present? For me? It better be the latest- Ow! I'm getting to that!" She snapped at Papillon, looking away from the Bee to glare at the absent supervillain.

Aristos removed the striped top Alya recognized as his Miraculous tool from around his waist.

"You didn't beat them! I did!"

Casually, carefully, Aristos placed his top on Queen Glitter's hand. Point against her glittering skin.

"You couldn't do it yourself so you sent me!"

"Venom," the Bee breathed.

"What was-"

Queen Glitter froze as Aristos' top glowed; his power paralyzing her. The constructs bursting into clouds of glitter. Chat Ombre landed in a crouch as her restraints vanished.

"It worked." Aristos sounded as surprised as Alya felt. "It worked! Yes! Nailed it!" He pumped his fist as relief overflowed and- Was he crying?. "Independent hero debut successful!"

"What?" Ladybug was staring at the Bee apprehensively and that didn't help Alya's nerves.

Aristos' mood instantly became more subdued. Blinking rapidly to get the water out of his eyes. "Oh, right. You're still here."

Chat Ombre tried not to take that personally. He did just save them, after all.

Ladybug stepped forward. Voice even, diplomatic. Never mind that she seemed this close to freaking out. "Listen, Aristos was it? I don't know how you found that Miraculous but you have to give it back."

His face was disturbingly neutral. "...Don't I get a 'thank you' for saving the day?"

The tension in Ladybug's shoulders wouldn't budge. "Thank you, but I really need that Miraculous back." She held out her hand.

Aristos stared at Ladybug's hand like it was something alien. Cracks appearing in his facade. "Yeah, pass."  Walking backwards, away from Ladybug and Chat Ombre, he kept them in his field of vision.

"Wh- The- Y-you can't just decide that!" Ladybug sputtered, stepping forward.

"Just did! How do I even know this Miraculous is even yours?" Aristos asked, increasing the distance between them.

Alya got the distinct impression that he was bullshitting them.

"I'm the one who lost it!"

Alya's eyes widened. "You lost a Miraculous?"

"Not helping, Chat!"

Aristos' features twitched, eyes narrowing. "Sure you say it's yours but how do I know that?"

Chat Ombre bristled at the implication. "Ladybug is the Hero of Paris!"

Aristos gave her a once-over, his expression inscrutable, but said nothing.

Wow. Rude.

"That Miraculous belongs to the G- to me."

"That's interesting because I say it belongs to me." Aristos laid a hand on his chest. "Looks like it's your word against mine. Guess which one I'm choosing?"

Ladybug's yo-yo was suddenly spinning in her hand. "I swear, I'm not gonna lose another-"

An insistent beeping from Ladybug's earrings interrupted her.

"Welp! Love to stay and dance but it looks like you two need to buzz off before your precious identities are exposed to little old me."

Why did he sound bitter? Everything about him made Alya's head spin with questions. Not least of which being how the heck someone holding the Bee Miraculous showed up in the first place.

Taking his top, Aristos hopped onto the edge of the Grand Paris' roof. "Might want to deal with her before that happens."

Alya looked to where he was pointing to see Queen Glitter still paralyzed. When she glanced back at the Bee he was gone.

---------------

Adrien's day sucked.

Paris Fashion Week was always a chore but this year was even worse. Despite having friends around he felt lonelier than ever. Getting to talk to Marinette only helped so much. Adrien was still expected to plaster on a smile and represent 'the brand'.

And that was before he got turned into a freaking statue!

At least it's better than mind control.

Shut up!

He did not want to see Ladybug or her new partner up close and personal! Thank you, very much! But like always what Adrien wanted didn't matter.

Imagine his surprise when a Miraculous practically falls into his lap. A familiar glow blooming in his chest against all reason as Adrien opens the box.

"Hello, my King," the unknown, bee-like kwami greets formally.

There's a turning in his stomach that Adrien tries his best to calm it. "H-hi! I'm Adrien. What's your name?"

"I am Pollen," she bowed. "Kwami of Subjection. An honor to meet you. It has been a long time since I've had a king."

"Just Adrien is fine." Taking the Miraculous, a comb of all things, out of it's box Adrien stares at it. It's disguise all black and only vaguely shaped like a bee compared to the details he glimpsed before Pollen came out.

"Of course, my King."

Adrien sighed. Pollen was nothing like Plagg. Then again, Adrien wasn't sure the world could survive two of him. The lazy little jerk was enough to drive any Guardian mad all by himself... God, he missed Plagg.

"Um, anyway, how does your power work?"

Pollen clapped her small appendages together. "It's very straightforward, my King. You simply call out 'Venom' and your top will activate. Then strike your opponent with the point and they'll be paralyzed for however long you desire." She whooshed toward him for emphasis.

"Paralyze..." That was certainly more straightforward than using Cataclysm.

'Cause you sucked at that, didn't you?

Shut up. This was... What was he doing? When Adrien held the Bee in his hands he felt... Alive. Like a promise that things could be better this time around.

Adrien jumped as insistent knocking on his changing room door startled him out of his thoughts.

"M. Agreste? Mme. Sancoeur says we're back on in five."

"Be right out!" Brushing the Miraculous with his thumb to make sure it was really there Adrien placed it in his pocket. Hesitating for a moment he offered his jacket to Pollen.

Nodding, she zoomed into Plagg's old hiding place.

Taking a deep breath, Adrien opened the door. "Let's get this over with."

---------------

Adrien ran off as soon as Papillon's mark appeared on Chloe's face. Catching Marinette doing the same from the corner of his eye. Glass raining down as Queen Glitter broke through the Grand Palais' roof.

Pollen zipping out as he tied his hair into a makeshift ponytail. Holding it in place with the Bee Miraculous.

"Quickly, my King! Say 'Pollen, transforme-moi'!"

Adrien stared at her. He could hear screaming as people ran.

"My King!"

His oldest friend just got akumatized for the second time.

"My King!"

All he had to do was speak!

"Adrien!"

His knees shook as his back hit the wall behind him for support. "But... I wasn't chosen."

Pollen floated higher as her eyes widened in surprise. "Weren't you given my Miraculous?"

Adrien shook his head. "I f-found it... After giving up the Black Cat."

This time Pollen dipped as she nearly fell out of the air. "Chat Noir."

Adrien shook his head even more emphatically. Hands going up to cover his face. "N-no! Not him! Can't be him!" he choked.

Pollen laid her hand on his and Adrien tensed at the touch. "My King."

Something in her voice made Adrien look at her.

"You wish to help, do you not?"

"... Yes."

Pollen's eyes softened. "Then help."

Adrien stared at her. So sure that she'd want nothing to do with him once she knew what a failure he was... But that wasn't the case.

Rising shakily to his feet Adrien gave Pollen a grateful smile. "Pollen, transforme-moi'."

----------------

Aristos panted as he glanced up from the alleyway. Spotting no pursuers. "Pollen, detransforme-moi."

Landing on Adrien's outstretched palms, Pollen beamed tiredly at him. "Excellent work, my King."

Adrien smiled back. "Oh! What do you eat? Plagg loves Camembert but..."

"That would be fine. However, I prefer something sweeter."

"Yeah..." A weight settled on his chest. "Let's see what we can find..."

Pollen frowned. "Is something wrong, my King?"

Adrien avoided her gaze. What was he supposed to say? That disobeying Ladybug felt wrong? That he almost let his guilt and resentment make him say cruel things to his replacement? That his heart wouldn't stop pounding? "It's just... Do you want to go back?"

Pollen blinked.

"You're supposed to listen to the Guardian, right?" Adrien bit his lip as his heart tried jumping up his throat. "It's not fair of me to keep you if you want to go back."

Pollen sat up on his palms. "I have been in the Miracle Box for a long time, my King. I can think of worse things than spending what time I have outside it with you."

Adrien's eyes burned as he wiped away tears. "Thanks, Pollen."

Ladybugs swirled in the sky as they repaired the city.

"Of course, my King," Pollen smiled.

"Call me Adrien."

"Yes, my King."

Adrien sighed. A smile coming to his lips. Looks like Aristos was sticking around for a while.

-----------------------------

Retroactively giving Black Cat Alya an afro.

[demonictales]

BITTERSWEET - XUE YANG X READER

this wasn't requested but i got this idea shortly before i fell asleep so i figured I'll give it a try and see where I'll land with it. let me know what you think, aite? characters briefly featured: nie huaisang, nie mingjue, wei wuxian, lan wangji about 3k words

TW: MURDER, CHILD ABUSE, DEATH

It was a bright day in Yueyang as you walked quietly next to your father, only sweet eight years of age. You were the youngest of clan leader Chang Ci'an's children, your older brother Chang Ping, at home complaining why you were allowed to follow your father to Yueyang on this day while he had to learn swordman ship. It was your birthday, so you begged your father to let you come along and you did. Looking out of the window of the ox cart you were riding the eyes of the young child were looking left and right, dazzling items everywhere. But the toy stall was mostly what caught your attention.

"Diē diè, can I have some toys?" The angel like soft tone of your voice making your father laugh heartily. " How much more do you want today ? " He responded patting the place next to him. "Pretty please? It's my eight birthday. -- " You argued. "After I am done with my business here we'll walk the market." It was his final word and you were more than happy. Perhaps you'd even bring something for your brother. Not long after spoken words and a few hours after midday you finally enjoyed the market running from stall to stall until a sweet scent filled your nostrils. Your eyes became big when you spotted the freshly baked sweet pastries on a stall, running for it and it seemed you weren't the only one being lured by the sweetness flowing through the air of the Yueyang market. Next to you stood a boy, probably around your age, a bit taller than you and not as clean. His clothes were ripped apart and dirty, a beggar you concluded. It kind of made you sad but you couldn't do anything about it. One of the servants had caught up and you ushered him to buy you some pastries, delightfully taking a bite as you saw the boy next to you eyeing them. He could take them off of you if he'd ran fast enought but fate had different plans. You handed him some, two pastries, because you wanted too. He seemed hungry and you hated the feeling of being hungry to an extrend that made your eight year old body angry in a different way. You'd throw quite the tantrums. Perhaps that came from being to spoiled by your father. And speaking of the devil here he came, voice rough and loud. " Boy, do you want some pastries? " Ci'an asked, but you knew his tone, he wanted something in return. Your father did not even let the boy speak at all while pulling out an envelope. " If you can deliever this letter, young boy, I'll buy you the pastries. Find me afterwards." That was something nice you thought to yourself. Making him word but giving him food as payment. What your naive little mind did not know was that your father had other plans in mind and simply kept walking away from the pastries stand, leaving you to walk around on your own for a little while longer before asking you to hop onto the cart again to leave for home as it was soon dinner time. Xue Yang did gladly do as he was told for he could have some sweets and finally some food in his stomach. Yet the encounter didn't go as planned, instead he was angering the recipient of the letter and the boy had to deal with the consequences. Being dragged to the nearby liquor shop next to the stall where pastries were sold Ci'an and his daughter were long gone, leaving a young naive boy hungry outside, waiting in despair for trusting people. All the boy wanted was something to eat, so he roamed the streets until he found the man and his ox cart, a girl's head looking out of the window excitedly as she spotted the boy. "Diē diè! Diē diè!" You spoke loudly, rushing your father to stop the cart as the boy was running behind. " The boy has returned. You have to buy him pastries now." Though, as naive as you were you saw another side of your father that day, changing moods from being so generous to annoyed and angry. You had never seen him like that. And he did not stop the cart, not until the boy ran in front of it, halting it on his own terms. The scene played in front of your innocent eyes, making you cry. This was not how you knew your father to be, not in your eyes. The sound of the whip beating flesh making you fall back onto the ground of the cart, begging your dad to stop as it scarred you. Crying like a coward, just like the display of your father made your anxiety well up. For far you enjoyed your day, your birthday. Getting more toys, even finding something for A-Ping, your older brother and even sharing pastries with the boy outside just to see it all turn into a small nightmare during day. The sudden movement of the cart made you fall back again onto the ground until you heard a scream from underneath. It was not something you wanted to ever hear again. But the yells from people

around reminded you of what your father had just done. 'How cowardly to hurt a child. ' ' He really has no shame. ' 'Chang Ca'in you bastard.' 'Stop involving others in your quarrels. ' Peaking outside, you only saw a small group of homeless people gather around the boy who's name you never learned. Lying on the ground bleeding in pain and agony, holding his hand while crying. If you could only help him as you rode further away from the scene, back home. The past few days did not change a lot, you practically begged your older brother or any servant to take you to YueYang to find the boy and eventually one servant gave in. It took you a lot of convincing but you tried your best to find the boy. You had packed a small bag with bread and cheese and fruit. It wasn't a lot but it should be enough for a day or two. You even stole money from your father, hopefully it was enough to let a doctor help him. Ever since that day you saw your father in different eyes and learnt quickly he wasn't as great as you thought he was. You were only eight but you grew up faster than you wanted it to be true. You had spent all morning trying to find the boy until noon, you asked any beggar on the street, any stall owner, anyone you could probably think of and find until you found him dozing near the liquor shop next to the pastries. Their sweet scent filing the air around you once more. Carefully you approached the young boy, afraid you might scare him. He looked peaceful lying there and you did not want to wake him up. He sure had to be in pain. As quietly as you could you put down the small bag with food next to him, along the way you even bought a small bottle he could fill up with water. You wanted to apologize for your father's actions but you did not want to disturb him so you whispered something while being crouched down next to him. "I'm really sorry, little brother. Please eat well and get treatment or medicine. I wish it would not have happened.. Hopefully, you can accept my sincere apology." Little did you know he was listening as your eyes scanned his hand, you could not imagine the pain he had gone through, but there wasn't much more that you could do. You knew you were in trouble if your father found out you apologized to a beggar, especially to someone he caused harm to. Yet no one but Xue Yang knew that the two of you would meet soon again.

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER

You had soon learned to leave your home as fights with your father became bigger and more unbearable. You were ashamed to be a part of his cowardly behaviour and did not tolerate it. So eventually when you turned eighteen, you left the manor and roamed the cultivation world, working on yourself, getting to know yourself and making aquaintances. One of your aquaintances was Nie Huaisang. He was a refreshing young man you'd enjoy drinking with, leading you to meet Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng and even the most famous Lan Wangji along your journey. Nie Huaisang had become a good friend of yours, eventually you were a welcome guest at Qinghe. It was rare but welcomed, you saw him as family, a brother you enjoyed spending time with. Even now, you resided at Qinghe having Nie Mingjue talking sense into you for going back home on your mother's birthday and visiting her. Your father's reputation had spread wide and far over the years, making you embarrassed to even carry the last name of Chang but here you were, bowing to the clan leader and biding your farewell. Qinghe might never be your home nor would the Nie Clan ever be your family, but at least you had a place to stay and you were more than thankful of it. Many times had you spoken to Mingjue and expressed your thanks and all you could do was to repay his hospitality with loyalty. Hard to earn but easy to give and be accepted. Leaving at dawn it took you about two days to arrive at Yueyang. At the gates of a place you called home, though the atmosphere around it did make you shiver as you tigthly held onto your sword. Something seemed terribly off and it was a feeling you hadn't felt in years, nothing except one thing could compare to it. The hair on the back of your neck stood up, as you slowly approached the gates of what was once your home. Unbeknownst to you, someone was watching rather excitedly from the rooftop, ready to attack at any given moment. The quietness drove you mad as you kicked the door open, being greeted by hanging corpses yet the scenery of mass murder unfolded behind them. There was you clan, wiped out from existence. Elders, children, servants and anyone you once knew, lying in their own poodles of crimson colored blood. What happend? Who did this? Where was your brother? Where was your mother and your father? All security forgotten you run forward, looking for your parents. " Mother! --- Mother! " Unwillingly your vision became blurry as you stumbled through the corpses of what once belonged to your name. The stinging smell of death making it hard to breath. How many days were they laying there for already? A loud dull thud was heard as you fell to your knees, tears running silently down your pale cheeks as you cradled your mother's cold body to your chest, sobbing without content. Oh how he enjoyed the drama unfold in front of his eyes, better than any theater you could see at the market. Though even he did not let one person live, something about her seemed familiar. He could not pin point it, all he wanted was the revenge for what this man had done to his hand. It was worth the massacre and the now free show as he landed quietly a few feet behind her. She must've been the last remaining person of this god forsaken clan and his last victim to get full revenge. "I should never have let home in the first place. I'm so sorry, mother. I'm so sorry.." Your words were swallowed by your mothers dark hair. You would mourn her for a long time, she was a gentle lady. A few feet away you saw you father, nothing but anger welled up in you as you placed your mother down onto the cold ground, your robes stained by her blood. You had never felt this much rage or anger inside of you as you grabbed your sword, ready to hit whatever flew into your way. Standing above him, you could not hold one piece of respect for him. It was his fault again, for you to feel so painfully lost once more. " What kind of father are you? --- You cannot even protect your own wife. " Broken words had left your lips. " All because you were so cowardly, playing bigger than what

you could pay for. " Quietly those words left your lips, " Now we are no more. There is no more Chang clan, all because of your greed. " Out of nowhere someone started clapping, as if he waited for just the right moment. Faster than lightling you pulled out your sword, facing the young man in front of you, close to where you kneeled moments ago next to your mother's body. "What a tragedy! But brilliantly spoken. ----- It was indeed his fault. " Xue Yang crossed his arms behind his back as he came closer, step by step. " It seems I have not yet fully killed every single member of this clan. --- Who might you be? " He smiled mischieviously at you, but you answered either way. " Chang Y/N. -- Only daughter of clan leader Chang Ci'an. --- " "Today must be my lucky day then. I will for once and all end all of the clan members life. -- " Xue Yang dashed forward, a devilish smile as both of you fought amidst the chaos created by him. Usually something like that would excite you, you could flaunt your skills thought it was a different matter as you landed on the roof, holding him away from you. "What have we done to deserve being slaughtered?" You questioned him, not even bothering asking for his name in return. All you knew was that he had to die today, for the sake of your clan and that they may rest in peace. "Fine with me. " He grinned. as he held up his hand, turning it to look at it at every angle. Silently you watched as he turned around, voice raising. " Once upon a time there was a child, all he wanted was some food. ----- He met a men on the marked here in Yueyang, saying that if he'd delivered a letter, he'd buy him the pastries. As young and naive as the child was, he did so, the only thing on his mind was the food he would get. " The story seemed awfully familiar to you as you remembered the day, your eight birthday. "Though, he did as he was told, Chang Ci'an left without ever paying his debt to the boy. Instead the boy was beaten up, kicked out of the liqour shop and left hungry on the street. Dumb as he was, he confronted the man just ----" "--- just to get whipped and his hand crushed by an ox cart. " You finished his sentence as Xue Yang whipped around in curiousity, wondering how you knew. "You're the boy I met back then. The boy my father hurt. ------ " It was a moment of carelessness from your side, letting your guard down bit by bit. A change of attitute in your behaviour. " I came looking for you, to apologize. I left food and drink and even money to get yourself treatment. " Xue Yang's head was slightly tilted, oh he did remember, but that did not still his urge to have the clan burned down to ashes for what they did to him. She had shown him care indeed, but that was long forgotten he had no mercy, not the elders or children, not even you. "Why? --- Why di------" The sound of metal falling on the bricks of the roof filled the early evening. You had lost the grib on your sword when you looked down, the blade that pierced your back turned red with your blood dripping down, stopping you mid sentence. He had taken advantag of you being distracted, but could you blame him? No, you couldn't. Falling forward onto your knees, you started coughing up blood until you were kicked down, landing onto the stairs of the entrance, feeling the hit of the stone underneath you in your bones, shattering you into pieces from the pain you felt. Turning onto your back in pain, you saw him looking down at you. A huff left your lips, coughing again, quietly choking on the blood that filled your lungs. " What--- what is your--- name?" Words came out in pieces, all you could do was lay there, barely able to move as your own blood colored your robes in dark wet liquid that was warm. "Xue Yang!" "I'm sorry, little brother Xue Yang.." Your words were barely above a whisper as your head fell aside, your vision becoming darker by the second, all you remember was a young boy you once handed two pastries too because he seemed hungry. What you did not see was the smile that had left Xue Yang's features, the agony that

he enjoyed before hearing your words, the same words but with his name, the same words you'd spoken as you thought he was sleeping. In the end, you had the last word, not him. And your friend had to witness you and your clan being whipped out of existence, reporting to his brother that you had passed away at home being murdered.

For Xue Yang hearing those words being spoken lastly, it was everlasting terror.

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on���, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[brandstifter-sys]

Before You Know It

Word Count: 1475. (Ao3)

Relationship: Dukexiety

Rating: T

Warnings: disease mention, mild gore mention, implied violence, self-depreciation, sex mention

Remus is a lot wiser than he lets on, and he is the one side who could reach Virgil before he got accepted. And even now he's still good at helping the emo he loves feel better

-------

Janus sighed and closed the door behind him. It was no use, not this time, not after that display of disregard. He clutched the icepack, now warm with tears, and looked up at the side waiting for answers.

“He won’t listen to me, not this time, even with hypnosis,” he sighed, “Maybe you can reach him, Remus. Someone has to.”

Remus nodded solemnly and sank out. Virgil wasn’t leaving his room, and after the video that day, it was understandable why he would want to hide. Thomas turned him into a cartoon. Thomas made him fly to California. Thomas made him a supervillain. Thomas punched him. in. the. face. Rejection was one thing, but that, that broke him. Remus and Janus feared for the worst.

“Oh Virgilisonfire!" he sang as he rose up in the dimly lit room. His slimy black heart broke at the sight of Anxiety curled up and slumped over his knees, bundled in blankets with his hood up. He had a nasty bruise on his cheek that shone under a glaze of tears.

"All I want is to protect him," Virgil sniffed and hugged himself tighter, "But I'm not doing that anymore."

Remus approached the bed and sat down next to him.

"What do you mean? You're protecting him still. He's just an idiot. And that's saying something coming from your favorite horny dumbass!" Remus giggled and wrapped an arm around him.

"I'm holding him back, I'm hurting him, and I don't blame him for hating me. I'm a disease. A terrible illness that won't stop making things worse."

"You? Kickin-bod Crane? No no no no, that's not right, not at all," Remus pouted and pulled him closer with no resistance.

"Versa E-Verge, you aren't some sexy strain of yersinia pestis, I would be harassing you day and night if you were," he said, getting a snort from Virgil, "No, you are not the plague. You have your moments of overdoing it, but who doesn't? You do a lot for the big T that he doesn’t appreciate, and you know that, you just gotta stay determined to do you.”

“But doing me hurts him so much. Even if I do some good stuff, I do a lot more harm and he hates me for it. He’s right to hate me. I’m not the plague but I am a sickness, like the Spanish flu.”

“You wanna go with disease metaphors? Okay! You know you only have to deal with the Spanish flu once, and he deals with you a lot more than that. You, my gloomy goober, have bad times, and they’re as basic as a common cold!” Remus said with a bright grin, making Virgil scowl, “Yeah, you’re not some terrible illness, you’re just a common cold, gone before you know it, and then back at it again and it’s predictable. You’re not killing him, making him rot from the inside out or destroying his vital organs, you’re a mild inconvenience when shit hits the fan. Those bad times pass, and then you’re not what he thinks is a problem. Again, I’m telling you, Thomas is dumb, like he has three Kronk's in his personality.”

“Three?” Virgil questioned and wiped his eyes, “I know Princey and Patton are, but who’s the third?”

“Me!” Remus laughed and threw his arms out. Virgil let out a small laugh and shook his head.

“Kronk is kind, strong, respectful, and moronic.”

“Yeah, I know!”

“You’re not moronic.”

“Aw!” Remus squealed and pulled Virgil into a bear hug, earning a fond groan in response. Virgil took a minute to free his arms and hug back, but he managed to do it.

“Thanks, Dukey, you always know what to say to help.”

“I also know how what to say to make you incredibly uncomfortable, disturbed, disgusted, and horn—"

“Shut up a bit and lemme have this moment.”

“Okay, Scare Bear. We love you, even if they don’t. I love you.”

---------------

Two Years Later…

“You know what's funny. You used to really unsettle me,” Virgil said, finally addressing him without the others intervening. Remus pouted and rolled his neck, wondering why Janus hadn’t popped up for this load of bull.

“I thought that you were some...terrible illness.” That caught his attention, and a soft smile crept onto his face. He could see where Virgil was going with this, the subtlety masked his meaning perfectly.

“Now I can see that you're just...a common cold...a mild inconvenience...that's gone before you know it."

Remus couldn’t fight the laugh that bubbled from his chest, “Oh, you TickleMe Emo! I enjoyed this! Good seeing you again, Virgil! Ah, it was just like old times!” He didn’t need to see more than that reluctant half-smile before sinking out.

After a quick bit of annoying Roman, because no sibling can easily resist the urge to be a pain, Remus actually returned to his room. It really was fun to finally get to interact with Thomas face-to-face, even if he didn’t give the duke a positive reception. Not that Remus was looking for positivity in this case, he was busy being an alarm that something wasn’t right. That something was Janus, refusing to leave his room for anything. Remus absolutely refused to offer any advice to help his slithering partner in crime, since Janus was too stubborn and his advice was probably what led to Virgil ducking out.

Remus flopped on his four-poster bed and sighed. Maybe his advice from before did reach Virgil as he intended, maybe it wasn't enough back then. Seeing him so hostile recently should have made Remus see that he forgot those words until Logan brought up doctors. It wouldn't have surprised the duke if Virgil willingly forgot about their history together. It stung but Remus saw it coming. He didn't see what was just on the horizon.

"Octopup?" Virgil's shaking voice got Remus to sit up. His heart broke when he saw Virgil standing in front of him, hugging himself with his head hanging. He was shaking and terrified.

"Need a hug, Scare Bear?" Remus asked and held his arms open, as if nothing had changed. Virgil crashed into him, knocking him back and clinging to him for dear life. Remus held him close and stroked his hair.

"So do you want to tell me what's wrong or should I just keep doing this?"

"I–I—" Virgil stammered, fighting back tears, "I told Thomas I was one of you. He didn't take it well."

"I hate to break it to you, but you're still one of us. You always have a place here, even if you don't think you do. You really think that we would just stop caring about you even though you left?"

"I've been horrible to you. Why would you want me back?"

"No one is trying to bring you back, we understand that you had to go. But you are always welcome if you want to visit our little cesspool."

"Remus," Virge said, pulling away to look at him, "it's not a cesspool. I know you aren't just intrusive thoughts and you do other good things. I just got stuck on the horrible things that could happen."

"I guess I really did unsettle you."

"Whenever you said, 'I love you,'" Virge admitted shyly, "I kinda figured it was just low-stakes platonic and I kinda—"

"Wanted it to be higher stakes?" Remus continued, "Because I have some good news for you!"

"Knowing I missed out is not good news."

"Then it's a good thing it's not that!" Remus giggled and held him closer, "I want you to be happy, Harlot's Web, but it would be so much better to be able to be the reason you smile and laugh. I love you, Virge and I don't care if you don't love me back, I just want you to be comfortable and confident and the image in my head when I j—"

Virgil surged forward and kissed him, desperately but sweetly. It caught Remus by surprise, but he was a man who lived for surprises! But Virgil pulled away before he could kiss back.

"I—I'm–I shouldn't've—" Virgil yelped and covered his mouth, ready to cry again.

"But you did, and I'm not complaining!" Remus teased, "But if you aren't comfortable with it, I'm good like this. You don't have to worry about me and my feelings right now, you need some creature comfort, and I am a slimy creature built for comfort—and pleasure!"

"I love you too, you himbo trash man!" Virgil grumbled and hid his face in Remus' shoulder, "Thank you for being there for me, even now."

"Aw, Scare Bear!" Remus squealed and hugged him even tighter. Virgil didn't fight to break free. He nuzzled closer and melted into the embrace. He felt like he was home for the first time in forever.