#I'm not gonna change my OC just for one person's happiness

[magigalocs]

So I got a DM earlier from somebody saying that Sasha's hair was "too blue and saturated" and "it would look better if it was dyed" (paraphrasing here) and not gonna lie, it actually made me sad.

Like, the whole point of Sasha's hair (and eyes) being blue is because her powers are ice related, and giving her blue hair is a visual manifestation of her powers. (That and it's a bit of a middle finger to so-called oc critics who are constantly like "YOUR OC CAN'T HAVE COLORED HAIR IN ANY WAY DURHUR")

Besides, she wasn't even born with blue hair to begin with. It started turning blue when she was 2 years old!

LE SOURCE: My OC Doc I have yet to release lol

So if the person who DMed me is reading this...respectfully, no. I'm not gonna change my OC just so you (and anybody else) can be happy.

Have the day you deserve.

[aeons-domain]

[xamag-draws]

BBR thoughts 2024

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)

[szynkaaa]

This is my first time asking but I'm going to ask anyway (and English is not my native language) I'm curious to know how your OC and the destined one met (I mean how was their first interaction)

hi hi! thank you so much for your ask, this is the first time I have received one about my OC <3

probably something like this (read right-to-left)

Gonna use this chance to talk a bit more about my AU lol

Wrote in a separate post here that Oz has met Sun Wukong before when she was a child and he was buried under the mountain.

So when she got whisked back into fantasy ancient China, she landed where Yuan Shoucheng aka Gourd Grandpa (the old man carrying a big gourd on his back) was already waiting there for her. He foresaw her arriva. The vague gist of my AU is that the the reason why this Destined One succeeds in retrieving all artifacts and becomes SWK is because he is also sort of the manifestation of that childish promise 5-years-old Oz made that she will save SWK one day (from under the mountain but clearly that didn't happen lol). But also since her ancestor is from this world, her descendants were fated to return back here one day.

Gourd grandpa updates her on her ancestors and their roles in the Celestial Court and the shitstorm that happened that ultimately let to the clan being massacred and one person escaping to "our" world, where magic doesn't exist and all those people are just characters from myths and stories. But also her ancestor isn't the only person that traversed through the two worlds - over the centuries more have come and gone. This is also why people in her world have those myths and deities. In my AU Wu Cheng'en also escaped from fantasy ancient China into her world and then wrote Journey to the West. He took artistic liberty to change some things for his novel, hence some things in BMW are different than in JTTW (like the ZBJ and violet spider love story or how SWK had a romance with White Bone Demon).

Anywayyy, Oz task on the adventure is to document their journey together, and she is responsible for using the magical gourd to suck in the will of the defeated bosses in.

And 2-3 days later the Destined One shows up. I don't think Oz was very happy about leaving gourd grandpa and join the Destined One on his travel, but if he is her best chance to find a way back home to see Taylor Swift live, then she will do it.

The Destined One is indifferent to mildly annoyed about this, but doesn't protest too much, as long as she doesn't slow him down yadda yadda. I do think that DO did feel some sort of special connection to her, because he is sort of a manifestation of that promise. it doesn't really take long for him to get used to her and also to care for her. One of Sun Wukong's massive core trait is that he cares so much for his loved ones and does not hesitate to do the impossible for them, and I like to imagine that even though SWK senses have been split into 6 different parts, the caring part stayed with each Destined One reincarnation.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

I don't know if you ever received this ask or had this idea before but here goes nothing Since Ghost already met Jade's family, what if she meets his? ....angst material. Sorry not sorry.

Oh my God... Anon... You sparked something in me, and I cannot go to sleep now without posting this. Thank you so much for the idea.

(I think I'm gonna make a full on comic out of this, and I will make an art at some point for this fic, but let's use this lovely GIF of Ghost first)

She's The One

Jade meets Ghost's family.

Pairing : Simon “Ghost” Riley x Charlotte “Jade” Le Jardin (OC) Word Count : ~ 1.8k words Warning : Medium to heavy angst and mentions of death, but ends with a full on fluff because you know me mate I want Ghost to be happy ok.

Title and story inspired by the song 'She's The One' by Robbie Williams

"...How's your family, Simon?" 

Jade asked Ghost. They had been having a small outing, which included watching the cinema together and going around the streetside shops to find new wardrobes for Ghost to wear. He initially thought that it was unnecessary, but as Jade insisted, he went anyway – as long as he could spend his off-duty time with her.  

He'd met her parents, and though he was apprehensive about it at first, they turned out to be pleasant and strong people. It was such an unfamiliar feeling for him, to have a family to come home to, a supportive family and kind and can take care of their own. He's foreign to that concept.

Ghost just stayed silent to her question, his expression which was usually unreadable turned sorrowful, his eyes gazing down at the pavements they walked. She thought she should change the subject before Ghost muttered,

"You want to see them now?" 

Jade opened her eyes wide in surprise, not expecting him to say anything about meeting his family this fast, and the way he said 'now'...

The woman knew Ghost wouldn't ask her that question if he was adamant as he was a straightforward person. And so, she answered, "Of course, if you don't mind it." He then proceeded to enter his car that was parked not far from where they just watched a movie in a cinema, not forgetting to open the passenger door for Jade beforehand. 

They drove for a full 30 minutes of silence, save for the sound soft songs on the radio. As Ghost drove, Jade looked out the window and understood that they were going to a familiar place that she had passed by a few times in her life. He drove to the nearest available parking area, parking his car flawlessly before stopping the car engine, leaving the both of them in complete silence. 

Jade felt the atmosphere around him grow heavy, his hands still on the steering wheel as if he was still pondering whether or not he wanted to get out of the car. He let out a soft sigh, took his keys and got out of the car. Jade got out of her own and looked at the surrounding area.

Cemetery.

The sun had disappeared behind the heavy grey clouds that constantly covered the England skies. Tiny drops of water had touched her cheek, in such a way it reflected Ghost's inner thoughts right now. 

The man looked at her, "Over here." He walked with Jade following right behind him. After about 10 minutes of walking and treading through the tall grasses, Ghost stopped in front of a group of gravestones, four of them, which were placed more tightly together than the other. The grasses were tidily short, a sign that the keepers attended to these graves properly.

Jade then looked down, reading the engravings on the stones, and her heart shattered to pieces.

"Susan Riley, November 17th, 1965 - December 24th, 2017"

"Thomas Riley, July 21st, 1990 - December 24th, 2017"

"Elizabeth Riley, May 8th, 1991 - December 24th, 2017"

"Joseph Riley, March 19th, 2013 - December 24th, 2017"

It was his mother's birthday. 

She looked up to find Ghost's eyes gazing down at the names as well, noticing that the ground he was standing on was right at the front of his mother's grave. No tears in sight, only sadness, and as an MI6 agent of two decades, she could deduce an expression of regret. Jade didn't need to wonder why, as the dates of their deaths were all the same - the reason he hid his identity, lived as no one, avoided any relationship with anyone, and the reason why he was adamant about meeting her parents – His past came to haunt, and it's target was not him. 

Jade couldn't say anything. What could she say? That she's sorry this happened? She knew Ghost hated that phrase the most, of someone pitying him, that they wished things could be different. But what use is it to wish? It happened. His entire family died because something happened during one of his missions, and his family paid the price for it.

As if on cue, she heard a small sniff from him the same second the raindrops started to grow more frequent, falling harder, creating white noises and wet spots on their clothes. Being the Londoner she was, knowing that sunny days were never really sunny, Jade fished out her floral purple umbrella, holding it above Ghost's head beside her, making sure to cover his broad shoulders fully as her left shoulder grew wet. 

She saw his face, and it was enough reason to stay silent and let him grieve. She didn't know if this was the first time he'd visited their graves after years or if he always come here at some time every year, but no matter which one the answer was, if she could see one thing, it was that his tears never seemed to run out, even after years.

Jade let him cry, the sound of his sobs completely drowned by the white noises of the heavy rain. 

She knew that he wasn't a big fan of any physical touch, nonetheless, she lifted her other hand softly and rubbed at his back, going up and down in an attempt to soothe his sorrow. And after a minute of him not flinching away from her touch, Jade mustered up her will to slowly encircle her arm around his own on his side, their sides touching as she rubbed his bicep, and going even further as she leaned her head to touch his shoulder. 

Ghost's shoulder still shook for a few minutes as he cried his heart out, Jade kept doing what she did as he let his sorrow out. 

Soon after, another surprise hit her when she heard and saw that the rain started to slow down, albeit still going down on both of them. Her other arm started to grow sore after moments of holding the umbrella high to accommodate his height, yet what alleviated the pain was the fact that she felt a small weight on her head, realizing that Ghost had eased his cries, now only soft sniffs, and that he leaned his head on top of hers as well.

He still stayed silent, not a word spoken ever since they arrived, but she knew that this was a good sign that he knew that she would be there for him, even when he was vulnerable.

"Happy birthday, Mrs. Riley." 

Jade muttered softly, the man beside her still looking down on his mother's grave even though he was slightly dazed at her words. 

"This is our first meeting, but I can tell that you were a kind person, and an even more amazing mother and grandmother."

He then glanced at Jade as she continued, "Your son is a very skilled and intelligent man, traits which I assume he got from you. He's confident, a great leader-- oh! And he's handsome as well, so that's a plus." 

That prompted a scoff out of his mouth. Nevertheless, she went on. "He's not much of a social person. He's a little bit intense and stiff - We can work on that. He shot my hand once! I have the scar to prove it. His choices of words are sometimes foul, though, again, we could always work on that." Jade joked lightheartedly, seeing him softly smile above her.

"But if there's one thing about him that I love, is that he's a strong man with a warm heart, and I don't have to assume to know that he got it from you." Jade continued. "Your son is the strongest man I know, and I will stop at nothing to protect him and make him happy."

Ghost looked down at her, astounded at her words. "Thank you for bringing him into this world. Happy birthday, Mrs. Riley." 

As she finished her message, Jade looked up with a soft smile, "I'll be sure to bring some flowers the next time we visit, and every year after that." 

She thought he was going to say something, until the arm that was intertwined with hers moved, though nervously, gliding across her back and found its home on Jade's shoulder, before lightly pressing and pulling her towards him. Jade blushed, not only at the warmth of his body but also at the fact that he initiated the touch. 

"Thank you, Lottie." He muttered in his deep voice, "So much." 

"Anytime, Love." 

After about 15 minutes of standing in front of the graves, the rain had stopped, and the sun showed up to light the rest of the day as the sky turned orange. Jade had stored the wet umbrella back in its container and hung it on her wrist before she walked back to the car per his request. Jade figured he wanted some alone time with his family, and so she obliged.

"How's she, Mum? She's a beautiful bird, isn't she?" 

Ghost finally spoke, his hands tucked inside his pockets. He then glanced at his brother's grave, smirking. "What about you, Tommy? You think she's the one?" He asked no one, not expecting any answer anyway, yet he just wanted to let it out.

"I thought I'm gonna bite the dust on some fucking rathole somewhere, and that was what I wished at some point, but..." Ghost sighed, shifting his weight on his hip, "I kind of want to die an old man, after living my life to the fullest with her-- Fuck, I can't believe I'm saying this." Ghost chuckled at his own words, not expecting it to be this heartfelt. "I'm arse over tit for her. Yeah, you're gonna laugh at me for this Tommy, but at least I didn't laugh when you said the same thing about Beth." 

"And Mum, knowing you, I think you'd like her. She's a bit like you, in a way." Ghost confessed, still eyeing her name on her gravestone, "She cares too much. In a good way, and I find it endearing." He suddenly recalled the memories he had with Jade, from the first moment they met to this moment, replaying them over and over and being surprised about how much she reminded him of his mother. 

"I want to protect her with all my life. I love her, Mum."

And with that, a burden on his shoulders felt like no more. He'd never said those words to anyone, and he might be insane to be in love with someone considering how he'd lived his life, but he'd made a promise to protect her, and if he'd be a fool, then a fool he would become.

"Anyway, she's waiting back there, and I'm hungry. So I'm going to leave you now." Ghost then stood up straight, his hands still in his pockets. He glanced at every single one of the gravestones, before looking at his mother's.

"Happy birthday, Mum." 

-----

(All of the Riley's birthdays are entirely made-up. Their date of death was also made up, but I remembered there were something with Christmas, so I'll just place December 24th to make my heart hurt more) ಥ_ಥ

Anyway, thank you for reading, and hope you love this! (❁´◡`❁)

[ispelexists]

SHADOW MILK COOKIE AND 'THEATRUM MUNDI'

"The world's a stage, and the actors are playing their roles in it"

The idea of Theatrum Mundi dumbed down. It's a simple concept, that concludes that the life itself is a show, being directed by some supernatural force like for example god etc.

(If I'm wrong correct me, I'm not that much into literature and this kind of stuff)

This idea caused me to write down a few prompts for you pookies <3

🎭

The thing is, is that you have so many options with this, like... AHHH

English isn't my first language, I apologize for any confusion I might've caused by these

Here's some ideas/prompts for you guys:

💙 1. 💙

🎭) AU where Shadow Milk's corruption begun not because of the overwhelming power he had, but because he, as the 'Virtue of Knowledge' knew everyone's script after looking at them, and being distraught by that fact, or the fact that almost every Common Folks life ended with a tragedy, a murder (by the hands of the beasts, but he doesn't know that) which terrifies him.

He, being the only one who knew about it, would try to figure out what this tragedy was, or to change the fate, not knowing the cause of it, was himself and those he considered him the closest.

🎭) In the end he got so focused on that task, he didn't see his own slow fall, and when he noticed it in his comrades, it was to late. The only thing he could do was to accept his end, and join the other Beasts in wrecking chaos, and ending the whole ACT.

🎭 (In this AU, he can only see the key moments in everyone's life, like for example marriage, death, and other important things, he can't see everyday life of anyone)

🎭 (Also the only one's he doesn't know his script, that's why he doesn't know he would fall to corruption, you can say that he also can't see other Beasts since they're equal in power, but I think it works either way)

💙 2. 💙

🎭) A concept where Shadow Milk Cookie, freshly after his corruption, goes around either in a physical form or hidden withing the shadows, observing random cookies life, and having a great time laughing at the absurdity of the fact he can basically knows what's gonna happen next.

🎭) For example seeing a cookie buy something at the store, and him being able to predict they would trip in a moment, which they do. After observing, he would start to act out, to see if his actions can change the events that would happen next (Example: Making person A fall on someone else's garden, and the other cookie getting angry at them, which would change not only Cookies A script, but also Cookie's B) (basically 'Butterfly Effect')

🎭) This prompt would allow to explore how he might've acted freshly after becoming fully corrupted. Reason being I think, he wouldn't jump straight into seeking chaos, but testing the waters to see how far he can go before anyone (witches) try to stop him

🎭) (As an Ex 'Virtue of Knowledge' in this AU he knows every detail of everyone's scrip/life)

💙 3. 💙

🎭) This one is a prompt for an 'x Reader', 'x Canon' or 'x OC'. Basically Shadow Milk Cookie after he got released from the tree (of right after he got corrupted) and meets Insert/Name and Gingerbrave gang.

🎭)Here it could go 2 different ways (or more, but I just don't feel like writing them all):

a) He knew of I/N because of being able to see through Pure Vanilla's staff and falling for them in that way, but after seeing that I/N either has no love interest planned in the whole thing, or has some else, he's getting angry

(if you're doing pre-corruption Shadow Milk, then he can get just sad, and attempting to change the fate by simply spending more time with I/N, but after it hasn't worked, he just watches from the sidelines, as their beloved live in their fairytale, and get their happy ending with someone else (ANGSTSSS YESS))

anyways, coming back to Corrupted Shadow Milk Cookie. He would attempt changing the fate in more drastic way, and getting really pissed that it won't change no matter what. Feel free to interpret it as you will.

b) Also after getting free from that tree, while he knew of I/N from Pure Vanilla, after meeting them, he learns that in their story HE is their love interest, and being like 'Omg, my star, where have you been all my life 😩' or something idk, be creative lmao.

🎭

The art without the text 😘

[callsign-dexter]

Fireside Romance 18+

Request: I just love the very present Kelly spam on your blog too much that I'm gonna send in an idea as well ! My bday is on the weekend, but I feel bad for all the other request before me. So you don't need to do it right now ❤️

Maybe something where you're just new at Firehouse 51 and Shays new partner on 61, and also hers and Kelly's new roommate. He wasn't happy about that in the first place but after he gets to know you he can't think of a better person to live with and you 3 get really close friends. One time you're alone with Kelly, when your nasty ex finds out where you live and shows up. As Kelly opens the door your ex starts making a scene about another guy living with you, but Kelly gets into protective mode and takes care of the situation not letting him near you and making him leave again fast. Then he sees you being a bit overwhelmed by the situation so he hugs you immediately and you relax into his arms, feeling butterflies all inside you, that he stood up for you and that adding to your already present crush on him. Taking advantage of the situation you kiss him, which he returns and somehow you end up in his bed where Shay later finds you both cuddled up together naked and she fist bumps herself cause she knew that would happen and she'll mock you first thing in the morning about that? 🤭

Omg I'm so sorry it's so long !!!!

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, domestic abuse done by OC, drinking, fluff, smut, swearing

Masterlist

A/N: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms I hope you're prepared for some Kelly Severide smut.....

A/N 2: Happy 6 month belated birthday! So sorry it is so late!

Leslie Shay has been your long-time best friend, like so long that you both would consider each other sisters. She was the one to push you to go to school to become a paramedic, you had shown that you were capable and you loved helping people. She was a few years older than you so she had already been through the schooling and had been at 51 longer than you. After you finished your schooling and went through the fire academy you were placed with Firehouse 51 as a paramedic with Shay and to say you both were beyond excited was an understatement. You quickly made friends with everyone on the team including Kelly Severide when you went in to meet everyone.

When you were placed at Firehouse 51 as a paramedic you were in a seriously bad relationship but you had a place to stay but that was about to quickly change. You just started working there a week ago when your living situation was no more. Shay and you had talked about it and how abusive your boyfriend was. You wanted to break up with him and move out but had nowhere to go until she suggested you move in with Kelly and her. She promised that she would talk to Kelly about it and let you know, you thanked her profusely.

 You had just gotten off work but stayed behind while the others went off to Molly’s because there was some paperwork stuff that needed to be taken care of with HR so by the time you were out of there you were getting home late. As you were driving home you ran into some traffic which made you even more late and that made you nervous. You tried calling your boyfriend, Taylor Hadley, but it went straight to voicemail and you left them but knew he would never listen to them but you still gave some sort of notification. You finally pulled into your apartment complex and walked into the building and took the elevator to your floor. When it dinged and you got out and started to walk towards your apartment everything was silent and that scared you. You took your key out and unlocked the door and was immediately met with the smell of alcohol and there was Taylor leaning against the wall arms crossed with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. “Where the fuck were you?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“I was down at the firehouse filling out some paperwork. I told you I was doing that this morning.” You said 

“No, the fuck you didn’t.” He growled out and then threw the bottle at your head which had you ducking but the glass shattered and nicked you and the rest of the contents went everywhere and on to you.

“You’ve been drinking. I did tell you this morning.” You said not daring to move. 

“No, the reason you’re so late is because you’re cheating on me!” He said, stalking closer to you. 

“No no I wasn't, I swear. I was at the firehouse. You can call down there and ask them.” You said as he was face to face with you. He didn’t say anything but instead slapped you hard across the face, he was strong so it sent you crashing into the side table. Tears sprang to your eyes as you braced yourself on the table. 

“You fucking bitch! Always fucking lying to me!” He growled out and grabbed you by your hair. You grabbed his hands and then threw you into the floor. Tears fell down your face.

“I’m not lying. I swear. I would never cheat on you like you do to me.” You said and that was a mistake and you knew it was a mistake and you wished you could take it back. His foot came in contact with your ribs and you could feel a couple of them break. You tried to protect yourself but that just made it worse. He was grabbing you by the hair again and bringing you to your feet. You were out of breath and you couldn’t catch it. He made a fist and punched you and blood instantly started to pour out of your nose, which meant that he broke it. He grabbed your throat and your airway was instantly cut off and he just continued to squeeze until you were almost blacking out. He backed you up in a glass cabinet and it shattered on contact and you could feel glass digging into you. He laid a few more punches into you and then he was throwing you down on the ground one more time and the air rushed back to you but it didn’t last long because he was kicking you in the stomach. 

“Stupid bitch!” He yelled out and then he was storming out of the apartment leaving you there bleeding and crying. You pulled yourself up and steadied yourself on the wall until you got to your purse and then you were falling down on the ground with your purse. You pulled out your phone and dialed 911 as you were starting to fade in and out of unconsciousness.

“911 what is your emergency?” The dispatcher asked.

“My boyfriend just attacked me.” You slurred 

“Is he there now?” They asked again.

“No, he he stormed out. He’s been drinking. He slammed me into glass, punched me several times, kicked me in the ribs and stomach. I’m bleeding a lot. I need help.” You said and you told your name, address, and the name of your boyfriend and then you were passing out. 

*******************

“What do you think about adding a roommate?” Shay asked Kelly as they were sitting down on the couch.

“Why would we need a roommate?” He asked

“Well, rent is going up and having another person would help with that and help. Also, groceries are going up and having a third person splitting it would help too.” She said 

“We don’t need a roommate; we have everything under control.” He said he liked his space but having a third person might help out. She didn’t get a reply because her phone was ringing and she was quick to pull out and she frowned and Kelly took notice of this. “Everything ok?” He asked.

“Med is calling me.” She said and she was quick to answer it.

“Shay, it’s Maggie. A Y/N Y/L/N was just brought in and you were listed as her ICE number in her phone.” Maggie Lockwood said

“Is she alright?” Shay asked, already getting up and rushing to grab everything she needed.

“No. She came in unconscious and that is all I can tell you until you get here.” Maggie said

“I’ll be down there as quick as I can be.” She said 

“We’ll see when you get down here.” Maggie said and then they were hanging up. 

“Everything ok?” Kelly asked

“No, Y/N is at Med.” She said, slipping her coat on and grabbing her keys.

“Y/N, the new paramedic that just started working there a week ago?” Kelly asked

“Yes, I got to go.” Shay said and was rushing off leaving Kelly there at the apartment alone. 

Shay got to the hospital in record time and was parking and rushing in. She ran up to the receptionist desk and was about to start asking where you were but the voice of Will Halstead quickly called out her name “Shay.” He said and she looked up and he was waving her over.

“Will what the fuck happened?” She asked and he was guiding her to your room. He didn’t say anything as he stopped outside of your room and she looked through the window and saw you and her heart broke she turned to Will.

“She was brought in with multiple lacerations, a broken nose, several broken ribs, internal bleeding which we had to go in and fix which we just got down with, and she also had strangulation marks around her neck. It was bad. We almost lost her once on the table. I had to get Jay involved.” Will said and Shay was speechless. It was so bad that he had to get his brother, Jay Halstead, involved.

“Do they have anything?” She asked

“No, they are waiting for her to wake up to get more information.” He said and Shay nodded. “If anything happens or if she wakes up. Let a nurse know and I will be down here.” He said and she nodded and then he was patting her on the shoulder and leaving. She walked into your room and pulled up a chair and sat down. 

“What the hell happened?” She asked, sighing not expecting an answer. She took your appearance in.

*********

The next time you were coming to you were in a hospital with blinding lights shining down in your eyes. You squinted and tried to move but everything hurt and tears sprang to your eyes. “Hey don’t move. You had some pretty serious surgery.” A familiar voice said and you opened your eyes to find Shay there sitting next to your bed. 

“Shay?” You asked in a hoarse voice.

“Hey, it’s ok.” She said getting up and leaning over you, blocking the light and pressing the call button. The nurse came on and she told them that you were awake.

“What happened?” You asked and she smiled sadly at you.

“I was going to ask you the same things. What do you remember?” She asked

“I remember coming home late from the station working on some HR stuff. I was late. He was drinking and started yelling and I was defending myself and he didn’t like that and then he was getting violent.” You said straining to remember. Just then Will was coming in along with Jay and Hailey Upton and Dr. Daniel Charles, you didn’t know him.

“Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling?” Will asked

“Sore.” You said and he smiled.

“You had a pretty big surgery.” He said “Jay and Hailey have some questions for you. Dr. Charles is here in support as well.” He added.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Charles and I’m the physicists here.” He said 

“You don’t have to tell us anything. You also don’t have to have anybody in her while he questions you.” Jay said and you nodded.

“I’m ok with everyone in the room.” You said and everyone smiled.

“Remember you don’t have to answer these. You also have every right to stop the questioning if you get overwhelmed.” Hailey said and you nodded.

“Do you remember what happened?” Jay asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I do.” You said

“As best as you can tell us what happened.” Hailey said and you looked at Shay and she smiled and nodded at you giving you an encouraging nod.

“I was down at the fire station working on some paperwork for HR by the time I left it was late. As I was driving home, I got caught in traffic. I tried to call Taylor on my phone through Bluetooth when I was stopped at a red light. He didn’t answer so I left a message.” You said and took a deep breath and started getting tensed and the heart monitor started to rise and Dr. Charles took notice of this. 

“Do you want to take a break?” Dr. Charles asked and you shook your head.

“No. I’m ok. Do I have to tell you the exact word for word he said?” You asked

“No, you don’t have to but you can if you want. It would help.” Hailey said 

“He asked me “Where the fuck were you?” in a demanding tone. I told him that I was down at the firehouse filling out some paperwork. I told him that morning.” You said. He said no growled “No the fuck you didn’t.” He then threw the bottle at my head which had I ducked but the glass shattered and nicked me and the alcohol went everywhere and on me.” You said

“Which would explain the smell of alcohol.” Will said and you nodded and then continued.

“I told him that he had been drinking and that I did tell him this morning.” You said. “He accused me of cheating and that was the reason I was late. He stalked closer to me. I told him no that I wasn't and that I swear. I told him I was at the firehouse. I told him that he could call down there and ask them.” You said “He didn’t say anything but instead slapped me hard across the face, it sent me crashing into the side table. I remember tears sprang to my eyes as I braced myself on the table. He yelled “You fucking bitch! Always fucking lying to me!” and grabbed me by my hair. I grabbed his hands and then he threw me into the floor. Tears fell down my face. I told him “I’m not lying. I swear. I would never cheat on you like you do to me.” I knew that was a mistake and I wished you could take it back. His foot came in contact with my ribs and I could feel a couple of them break.” You said and Will nodded confirming this. I remember trying to protect myself but that just made it worse. He was grabbing me by the hair again and bringing me to my feet. I remember being out of breath and I couldn’t catch it. He made a fist and punched me. I remember the blood instantly started to pour out of my nose. He grabbed my throat and my airway was instantly cut off and he just continued to squeeze until I was almost blacking out. He backed me up in a glass cabinet and it shattered on contact and I could feel glass digging into you. He laid a few more punches into me and then he threw me down on the ground one more time and the air rushed back to me because he let go of my throat but it didn’t last long because he was kicking me in the stomach.” You said and again Will nodded.

“Which would cause internal bleeding and cause you have to have surgery. It ruptured your kidney and it had to be removed.” Will said and Jay nodded as he wrote that down. 

“Are you good to continue?” Dr. Charles asked and you nodded.

“I remember him yelling “Stupid bitch!” Then he stormed out of the apartment leaving me there bleeding and crying. I remember pulling myself up and steadying myself on the wall until I got to my purse and then I fell down on the ground with it. I remember pulling my phone and dialing 911. I told them everything while starting to fade in and out of unconsciousness.” You finished and Dr. Charles was smiling.

“That was very good. Most domestic abuse patients wouldn’t want to give up their significant other.” He said

“He’s been doing it for 4 years.” You whispered 

“Do you mind if we take pictures?” Jay asked

“I don’t mind. I only want Hailey and Shay.” You said and they nodded and everyone else walked out of the room. She took the pictures quickly and then they were welcomed back in.

“We will put this man away.” Hailey said and you nodded and then they were leaving and now it was just Will, Shay, and Dr. Charles with you. Will and Dr. Charles talked to you a little more and then they were leaving.

“Do you have a place to stay?” Shay asked and you were silent and shrugged.

“I don’t know.” You said

“I will talk to Kelly.” She said and you nodded. She stayed for a few more minutes and then she was leaving bidding you a goodbye.

*********

When Shay arrived home, she was determined to move you in. When she got into the apartment Kelly was just plating food. “Hey.” He said looking up and seeing her.

“Hey.” She said

“Is Y/N ok?” He asked

“No.” She said as he handed her a plate of food.

“What happened?” He asked 

“Her boyfriend beat her up pretty badly. Bad enough to land her in the hospital.” She said and Kelly was actually mad. “I know you said you didn’t want a roommate but she has nowhere else to go. We have the extra room and she can make the payments.” Shay said and Kelly sighed he didn’t want a roommate but he couldn’t let you go back to that situation

“You’re right I don’t want a roommate but I can’t leave someone homeless or going back to a bad situation. She can move in.” He said and she sighed and hugged him after she put her plate down and he was fixing his.

“Thank you so much.” She said, the next time she saw you she told you that Kelly agreed and you were so grateful. You gave them the key and they went to pick your stuff up. It wasn’t much and that actually saddened them both. 

2 days before you got out of the hospital Jay and Hailey were coming in and telling you that your boyfriend, now ex, had been arrested and that he had been charged with domestic abuse and DUI. They had strong evidence against him. 

When you got out and to your new apartment your stuff had been put in the extra bedroom. Shay helped you unpack and once everything was done you joined them in the living room. “Thank you for letting me move in.” You said mostly to Kelly.

“I’m so glad to have you here.” Shay said

“You’re welcome.” Kelly said not sounding too enthusiastic but you took it. 

*********

3 months into living with them, Kelly had been getting to know you more and you doing just the little things and some big things helped and that made him slowly getting into having you as a roommate. He was also falling in love with you and you were falling in love with him too.

*

1 month

 It started out with you replacing everything that was low on stock into a month of living with them. You noticed that most of Kelly’s stuff was low so you, being a good roommate, stocked up on his stuff more and just stuff in the apartment in general. You were also having weekly sessions with Dr. Charles and weren’t there to see Kelly’s face when he noticed that everything of his and Shay’s stuff and some stuff that was hard to find like his and Shay’s favorite coffee creamer. 

Kelly and Shay had just got off work and it was a rough shift. You had taken a personal day off of your three-day shift and it was approved especially after what happened. You were at the hospital having an appointment with Dr. Charles. Kelly stormed in with Shay walking in behind him. The apartment smelled nice and it felt warm like a home. This shocked them both and they looked at each other then they saw the note: “Hey, guys I’m going to be gone for a few hours. Don’t wait up for me. I have some stuff I need to get off my chest.” 

“I’m going to take a shower.” Kelly murmured and Shay nodded as he walked into his bathroom, he noticed that fresh towels were hung up and when he looked into the shower, he noticed that his favorite shampoo and body wash were restocked. “How? It is so hard to find this.” He asked himself as he picked up the bottle. Kelly was slowly starting to come around to having a roommate but he wasn’t yet fully convinced. When Kelly had gotten out of the shower and changed, he heard laughter in the living room. He went out to see what was going on, he saw that you and Shay were on the couch laughing. You were laughing and turned your head to find him standing there and you smiled at him.

“Hey, Kelly.” You said smiling at him. 

“Hey, you have a good session with Dr. Charles?” He asked and you smiled at him and nodded as he walked in and sat on the chair beside the couch.

“I did. I was having a hard time with something about Taylor and it was stopping me from doing things” You said and he nodded and then you got to talking again but one question was on his mind when the current conversation came to an end he decided to ask the question.

“I have a question for you.” Kelly said and you turned to him and smiled and nodded as a go ahead. “I noticed that our stuff was stocked and some of the stuff is hard to find. How did you find it?” He asked and you smiled at him.

“I found them at this really small shop. They only carry the hard-to-find things. I’ve actually been looking for months around places and when I find them, I buy everything and then I found this place and boom there it was.” You explained and he nodded. 

“While we are asking questions. What did you do to make it smell so good in here? We couldn’t get that musty smell out of here.” Shay asked

“I used to clean a lot and while I was off, I deep cleaned. I also got some plugins and plugged them in the high traffic places. I wasn’t going to get a candle warmer because too many fires happen with those.” You said and they both nodded. Kelly couldn’t help falling further in love with you and how good of a roommate you were being. 

*

2 months

The three of you were at work and for once it wasn’t busy. Everyone was doing their own thing and even though the three of you were together at home you three were alone together at work. Rent was coming up and you wanting to be a good roommate actually went ahead and paid it all. “I haven’t noticed that the rent bill hasn’t come.” Kelly said.

“You know I’ve noticed that too.” Shay said and you were being quiet and they noticed this. “Have you noticed it too?” Shay asked.

“I paid it.” You said taking a sip of your hot chocolate.

“What?” They both asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I paid it. I wanted to show you how much I appreciated you guys letting me live with you so I went ahead and paid it all.” You said looking at your roommates.

“Y/N you didn’t have to do that.” Kelly said “We are roommates, we pay for the bills and food equally.” He said and Shay nodded.

“I know but I wanted to do it.” You said now feeling guilty for it. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” You said feeling guilty. You felt so guilty that you decided to just leave feeling like they were angry at you and the look on your face broke Kelly he wasn’t trying to be mean he was just surprised. He and Shay looked at each other.

“Did I just make her upset?” He asked 

“I think we both did.” She said

“I’ll go find her.” Kelly said and she nodded.

“Ok.” She said she was going to offer to go with him but she knew that he liked you and maybe this would help you both get closer to each other. So, Kelly went on the search for you, he checked everywhere and couldn’t find you until he decided to check outside and there, he found you sitting on the firetrucks bumper that had been moved out to be cleaned. 

“Y/N.” Kelly said when he saw you and you looked up at him and you looked terrified and he hated that. “We didn’t mean to make it sound like we were mad at you. We were just surprised.” He said and you nodded. “Why did you do it? I’m curious.” He asked.

“I wanted to show my appreciation for you both letting me move in with you. I can afford it.” You said

“I’m not saying you can't. We appreciate it but we’re roommates and we split everything.” He said and you nodded.

“I know. It’s just how I was raised.” You said

“How so?” He asked and then you were moving so he could sit and he did.

“Believe it or not I come from a wealthy family. We get along great and the way we show appreciation. When someone finds out I have money whether it be male or female they either want to be my friend and use me for money or date me for my money and then they show their true colors.” You said and he nodded and listened and as he was talking to you, he was falling in love with you and as a roommate. You two talked until the bell was ringing.

*

3 months

By the third month of you living with them Kelly was 100% ok with having you as a roommate. He was also 100% ready to take it to the next level with you and he was planning to ask you out soon but that and among other things happened so much quicker. Since you moved in you cut all ties with Taylor and you thought he would be gone for good and that he was in jail but apparently had gotten out and you were shocked when you heard the news but he didn’t know where you lived, at least you didn’t think he did. You also had a restraining order against him.

It was just you and Kelly at the apartment since Shay had a date and was going to be gone for the rest of the evening until the morning. You and Kelly had been lounging on the couch when there was a knock on the door “Stay put. I got it.” He said getting up and walking to the door as you paused the show that you two were currently watching. You heard the door open “Can I help you?” Kelly asked.

“Oh, so she’s already moved in with another guy? It’s only been three months.” The familiar voice of none other than your ex-boyfriend, Taylor Hadley, sounded and you froze. You were quick to get up and go to the door but stopped far enough away but Taylor could see you.

“You need to leave.” Kelly said 

“No, I came back for what is rightfully mine.” He growled out and that made Kelly’s blood boil.

“She is not yours anymore. You need to leave.” He said blocking the entrance way. Kelly was a lot bigger than Taylor and he could easily take him down with one push. Taylor seemed to move on from Kelly and focused his attention on you.

“You’re such a fucking bitch. Sleeping with every guy you come across, especially that cop that arrested me. I’m going to teach you a lesson for cheating on me.” He said and tried to come in but was met with a wall of Kelly and he was quickly pushing him out. Throughout the whole deal you were as silent as you could be quickly becoming overwhelmed with his presence.

“It’s time for you to fucking leave. You’re not welcome here.” He said and pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door quickly and locked it. He pulled out his phone and made a quick text to Jay. Kelly turned to look at you and you were wide eyed and staring straight ahead and shaking slightly. He was quick to walk over to you and take you into his arms hugging you. “Hey, it’s ok. I got you.” He said into your ear and you hugged him back. After being in his arms for a few minutes you pulled away slightly and that caused him to look at you. You both stared into each other’s eyes and suddenly you were leaning in and kissing him. At first, he was frozen shocked but very quickly got over that and kissed you with so much passion that the only time you broke apart was when you needed air. Both out of breath you stared at each other and his eyes were hungry and he was quickly kissing you again and picking you up which made you squeal into his mouth and then he started moving towards his bedroom. You both kissed each hungrily, teeth clashing with each other tongues battling for dominance. As he entered his room and shut the door to where it was only a crack.

Kelly walked to his bed and when he was there, he slowly laid you down on the bed and was overing your body with his broad one. The heat was quickly rising but you didn’t want to stop. Clothes were quickly shed until you were both nude in front of each other. He went back to kissing you and you could feel his erection on your thigh. Kelly ran his hands up and down your body and his kisses trailed to your neck where you leaned it to the side moaning. “I love you.” You moaned out and he stopped and looked at you and that made you look at him.

“Seriously?” He asked and you nodded.

“Seriously.” You said and smiled and kissed you hard.

“I love you too.” He said when he broke the kiss. He brought his cock to the entrance and once it was seated there, he slowly eased himself into you and you moaned welcoming the stretch. It was painful at first but it soon turned into pleasure. He was bigger in length and girth than any of your exs, especially Taylor. 

“Fuck you’re so big. Stretching me so well. I always imagined being in bed with you and how big you were but you exceeded my expectations.” You said and he smirked into your neck.

“I’m glad I could exceed those expectations.” He said and he started to move which made you moan.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled out in pleasure.

“You’re taking me so well. Squeezing me so tight.” He moaned and in turn you squeezed him and he groaned. “Keep doing that and I won’t last long.” He growled out and that sent shivers, good shivers, up your spine. “You’re my good girl.” He moaned out and that made you wet. As he thrusted into you and made you see stars, in a good way, each time he moved inside you made you fall in love with him more and that familiar knot started to grow. Nails dug into his arms which were holding his broad body up from crushing you. 

“You’re making me feel so good, Kels. Don’t stop.” You moaned and he smirked.

“I don’t plan on it. Not now. Not ever.” He said and thrusted into you.

“Please go faster.” You moaned 

“Your wish is my command.” He said and picked up his pace and that just brought more pleasure to you.

“Oh fuck! I’m close, Baby. So, close!” You yelled out and he didn’t care that you were being loud he wanted to let everyone hear he was the one making you feel this good. 

“Who is making you feel this good?” He asked 

“You.” You moaned 

“Say my name.” He growled out.

“Kelly! Kelly is making me feel good!” You screamed out and he smirked.

“Damn right. Are you going to be my good girl and come for me?” He asked

“Yes!” You moaned out loudly as he brought one hand to your clit, leaving him resting his body weight on hand which was not a problem for him, and started to rub it vigorously which sent waves of pleasure throughout you. 

“Come for me, Sweetheart.” He said and as he spoke and that added pressure on your clit did you in and that knot exploded and you were coming hard and squeezed him tightly.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled out as you came and he was close behind you painting your walls white with his cum. Both of you were sweaty and out of breath as he slowly and gently pulled out of you as he pulled back the covers. He pulled them up and you shimmed under them and he laid them over your naked bodies. You cuddled into him, face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around you. “I meant when I said I loved you. I have fallen in love with you over these 3 months.” You said he searched his face as he smiled.

“I’ve fallen in love with you romantically and as a roommate over these 3 months too. To be honest I didn’t want a roommate but having you as one has been perfect. I want you to be my girlfriend and take you out on a date.” He said and you smiled.

“I would love that. Although we skipped some steps.” You said chuckling and he chuckled too.

“We did but it was worth it.” He said and you smiled and nodded.

“Definitely was.” You said and yawned.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.” He said and you nodded and you closed your eyes and fell to sleep. As soon as he felt you breathe even out and that is when he allowed himself to fall asleep.

The next morning Shay was rolling into the apartment early and was confused when she didn’t hear the two of you up and her eyebrows furrowed. So, she went on a mission to find out where the two of you were. Both vehicles were here and you both clearly weren’t in the kitchen, dining room, living room, and she couldn’t imagine why you both would be in her room but she checked anyway. She then checked your room and the both of you weren’t there. A smile grew on her face as she was starting to pieces as there was one last room to check. The door was cracked and she silently opened it and there the two of you were naked cuddled together sound to sleep and she was overcome with joy. She backed out moving the door back to where it was beforehand and made her hand into a fist and fist bumped the air. All along she wanted you to move and the two of you fall in love and after 3 months it happened. She made her way to the kitchen and started to make coffee. 

You were slowly waking up and at first confused as to where you were and who was holding you but you quickly remembered and smiled at the memories that came flooding back from last night. You looked at the peaceful look on Kelly’s face and slowly leaned up and kissed his lips and he squinted in his sleep but he was slowly waking up. He cracked his eyes open to find you smiling at him. “Good morning.” You whispered.

“Good morning.” He replied in a gruff voice, smiling.

“Last night was wonderful. I never knew sex could feel so good.” You said and he kissed you.

“I will make you feel good every night for as long as you let me.” He said and you smiled.

“Please.” You said 

“Gladly. Want some pancakes?” He asked and you nodded as your stomach growled.

“Yes.” You said and he kissed you one more time before he was getting up and pulling on his boxers and sweatpants and you admired his god-like body and then you were rolling out of bed and pulling on your underwear and grabbing Kelly’s discarded t-shirt that came down to your thighs and covered everything. Kelly watched you the entire time.

“You look good in my shirt. You should wear my clothes all the time.” He said and you smiled.

“As long as you will let me.” You said and he smiled and then you two kissed each other and headed out of the living room and into the kitchen. As you were nearing the kitchen bacon was heard sizzling and as you walked in there was Shay fixing breakfast.

“Good morning love birds. Have a good night last night?” She said smirking and you blushed and Kelly smirked.

“We sure did.” He said and you smacked his chest but you couldn’t help but agree.

“Soooo how did it happen?” She asked

“Taylor found out where I lived and tried to start something and broke his restraining order and it just went from there.” You said as she handed you a plate of food and Kelly a plate of food. You both went to sit down next to each other and then she was bringing drinks over.

“I have to say I’m really glad that she became our roommate.” Kelly said and she smiled.

“She really is the best.” Shay said

“Stop you guys.” You said and Kelly chuckled.

“She’s telling the truth.” He said as he took a bite of his food and so did you. As the three of you ate and talked about everything you could feel Kelly’s hand on your bare thigh and you looked up at him and he was fully focused in a conversation with Shay and you listened loving hearing them talk but you were just enjoying his hand on your thigh and being close to him. As Shay looked down at her phone looking at and still talking Kelly looked over to you and into your eyes, his eyes were filled with love and so were yours. 

“I love you.” He mouthed and you smiled at him.

“I love you too.” You mouthed back and he smiled and you honestly meant it. You couldn’t wait to spend more time with him as your boyfriend. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

[rockets-sillyobsession]

Lee!Robbie HCs

Well, hello there! Long time no see!

Yeah i'm not too active on tumblr much these days, but i'm hoping to make that change, every great once and a while! I've also got a fanfic in the works (also lee!robbie btw) but until then, I offer you some thoughts on this boy whom i love so dearly <333

NSFW/FETISH BLOGS PLEASE DNI!!!

Being an emo is so lee core. What are you refusing to smile/laugh for, hmm?? I know what you are

Wendy is his main ler, ofc, but close behind is mabel!!! in my mind, him and mabel end up being close friends/have a big brother and little sister dynamic and they are SO best friends core!!! and you can't be besties with Mabel Pines without being wrecked <3333

ESPECIALLY with an angsty attitude like his. She will NOT stand for this constant frowning!!

He swears a LOT when being tickled, especially right beforehand when he's in Panic mode, and mabel doesn't take too kindly to that

Their whole friend group has also teamed up on him a time or two

They all like to poke or jab him randomly bc of the funny little noises he makes

Even if they're not participating themselves, his friends like to tease him as it's happening (Mainly Nate and Lee) and encourage the ler to go to worst spots/do particular things they know get to him, etc

But it's all in good fun, they all know he's having fun :333

There's something very sweet to me about him going all in on being emo/angsty but holding onto this ONE silly, childish thing that makes him happy....

He's shown to be a bit of an artist, so I bet he totally hasn't drawn his epic, totally not a self insert OC being wrecked by the also totally not an insert for the girl he has a crush on

You can tell he's in a lee mood by how obnoxious his ego is "Yeah, whatever..." Not in a mood "Uh, yeah, I could totally take you!" In a mood

His main spot is under his arms, mainly bc I love imagining him trying to do literally ANYTHING and always having to put himself "at risk" in front of wendy/his friends

He's SUCHHHH a brat!! and for what? everyone knows what you're doing, you're not hiding ANYTHING by acting tough <3333

"Tch, and just what are YOU gonna do?" "What, am I supposed to be scared or something?"

His confidence is almost INSTANTLY dashed by ANY sort of advance from a ler. You so much as move as he's shrinking back and suddenly he's "sorry" for what he said

He isn't. Hope this helps <3333

He also likes to use his angsty nature to his advantage and dramatically lament about random things and do dramatic poses while doing so, hoping/knowing somebody's gonna take advantage of the fact that his arms are up and over his head

Mabel calls it "cheering him up" when she wrecks him for it, Wendy calls it "shutting him up" ;KAJSDFLKJASKD

Him and Wendy have been childhood friends for a good while, so he's been wrecked PLENTY over the years, meaning he has a surprising amount of endurance

He's quick to crumble with teasing, but he can put up with quite a bit of tickling

I don't think this man has tickled another person in his LIFE A;SDKFJALSKDJK

He can sure try!!! Oh, how he's tried!! but it NEVER turns out good for him laskdjfkd so sorry buddy

Except i'm not sorry bc he's a lee and he's having the time of his life <333

Afterwards, he's actually pretty. chill and sweet :333 He's got a bit more pep in his step and just generally a lot happier for a while

That's all for now, thank you for reading!!

[quickstappen]

SUMMARY: marceline's valentines over the years (a short study of self love and a look into the past)

PAIRING: pierre gasly x ex! fem! redbull media team! oc , [redacted] x fem! redbull media team! oc (no faceclaim)

WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, cursing

A/N: this is a short valentines day special, marci is healing and we get a look into pierre's and marci's past relationship - this one's not really plot filled, just some valentines snaps over the years ;)

[carved my name] masterlist madi's library

marcilazzaro1 and clairobernie_x posted to their story!

liked by danielricciardo, lance_stroll, clairobernie_x and others

marcilazzaro1 this year, for valentines day, i am celebrating the strongest, bravest and funniest person i know, the curious soul that has been with me my whole life - myself. these past months made me realise that i wasn't always so kind to her, always putting her wants and needs on hold for people who weren't worth it, telling her to settle for something less rather that fight for what she deserves... now, i'm learning to love her and be happy for her in a completely different way and i've never felt more like myself. today of all days, whether you're single or in a relationship, please remember to show yourself some love too. you can spoil yourself a little - you absolutely deserve it.

all of my love goes to you x

see all comments...

carrie_on whos cutting onions here what the shit

redleclerc she is actually so mother, you don't understand

clairobernie_x i very much agree with the home decor, mia bella 🤍

↳ marcilazzaro1 aw, are we about to kiss rn?

↳ clairobernie_x 😚

cuddlyxricc are you trying to trick me into loving myself with a very aesthetic valentines photo dump?

↳ marcilazzaro1 is it working?

↳ cuddlyxricc ......maybe

↳ marcilazzaro1 good.

quickstappen did you do anything special today to spoil yourself?

↳ marcilazzaro1 yes! i cooked my absolute favourite meal from my childhood, took a very long and relaxing bath all while sipping on apple cider (i'm not a huge fan of champagne) and binged the mamma mia movies again!

↳ marcilazzaro1 did you do anything to spoil yourself?

↳ quickstappen it was gonna be another sad valentines, but you've changed my mind. i deserved a break. i went shopping to my favourite store and i'm planning to treat myself to dinner night out!

↳ marcilazzaro1 you don't know how amazing it is to hear that 🤍

barbiegirl i just love how confident she's getting 🥹 i've waited YEARS for this

shithappens okay but the revenge dress???? absolute serve

↳ madi_races it looks like it was made for her, honestly

ilpredestinatox HELL YEAH. GIRL, YOU DON'T NEED NO MAN (especially not that cheating bastard)

sarah_scott 🥂💛

view more...

FEBRUARY 2020

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and others

marcilazzaro1 to the one who always listens to what i have to say and never complains about my weird shit - i thought i knew what it was like to love and be loved, but everyday you prove me wrong, you're like a breath of fresh air after a long dive.

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

see all comments...

pierregasly there's no one i'd rather listen to in the middle of the night, you make me feel whole, i didn't even know i had so much love to give

view more...

FEBRUARY 2021

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and others

marcilazzaro1 another year, another letter. i've never felt such an overwhelming kind of love, no matter how many words i write, it's never enough. there's so much i want to say and so little words. i think i'll just have to write it out for the rest of my life and even that might not be enough time.

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

see all comments...

pierregasly i've never liked reading, but i know all your letters by heart. i can't wait to spend forever with you

view more...

FEBRUARY 2022

liked by pierregasly, alex_albon and others

marcilazzaro1 to pierre, my love - no words can explain what i feel for you (and yet i try every year), i love everything about you, even your dirty socks laying around the apartment, but most of all, i love your quiet. i was never good with silence, my life is chaotic and full of noise, i was scared of slowing down, but with you i am safe and i don't have to fear the quiet moments anymore

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

see all comments...

pierregasly i can only be quiet with you, no one else

view more...

FEBRUARY 2023

liked by pierregasly, sarah_scott and others

marcilazzaro1 to the future us - i hope you're kind and loved. to pierre - another year with you and i still don't have enough. i think my love for you might be endless, like the depth of your eyes in the mornings. i am enamored, bewitched, but never lost, i've found myself in your arms.

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

see all comments...

pierregasly here's to the future! i love you always

view more...

madi's radio: here we have a bit of nostalgia for marci and pierre :)))) i don't know where this came from honestly, but i wanted to show that there was a time when they were happy and in love (on both sides)

taglist: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi @woozarts @janeholt3 @celestialend @formulaal @d3kstar @yoremins @rd14 @mess-is-my-aesthetic @callsignwidow @blaaahblubb @evans-dejong @lwstuff (xxx - couldn't tag you)

click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[painted-bees]

I went looking for a list of OC questions that had a majority of things I hadn't answered yet wrt the hi-note trio, and found this lil' one abt "love and relationships" lmao I'm not gonna make anyone submit a number in my ask box for it, it's only 15 questions. I'll just answer them all for Margie and Raf under the cut.

1) How does your character view the idea of romantic love? Raf's got a complicated relationship with it. He's a very romantic person, and wants desperately to believe in the whole "true love "thing-- to believe that someone could love him just because it was predestined for them to do so, or because of some hard coding in their DNA or whatever--and that it'd work the same way for him, too. Just effortless, unquestionable, natural and unbreakable love. But that doesn't exist, it's a fantasy. People don't get into relationships unless there's something tangible in it for them--and then it's a tug-o-war of compromises and capitulations, and it's impossible to imagine anyone ever being truly happy and comfortable under the weight of an obligation as undefinable as 'love'. And so, he figures he'll be lucky if he can find someone he can tolerate, who can tolerate him--who might, once in a while, give him the euphoric feeling of being valued as a person rather than as an asset. And hopefully, those moments can outweigh the inevitable fights and disagreements, and all the emotional damages that arrive in those situations. As for Margie, there's no clear distinction between romantic love and platonic love for her, much of the time. She loves her friends all very intensely, and she loves her romantic partners in very much the same way! Her expressions of love do not change much between friends and lovers--and maybe for this reason, people who take the plunge into being a committed romantic partner with her find her to be somewhat underwhelming. There is very little difference between Margie as a friend and Margie as a romantic partner. There is very little difference between her definitions of these two things. Arguably, she's a very loving--but not a very romantic--person. She doesn't believe in soulmates or true love or any of these things, either. It feels too limiting. It puts so much unnecessary pressure on a single person and needlessly mystifies something that really shouldn't be all that strange or complicated.

2) What was your character's first heartbreak, and how did it influence their approach to relationships? Raf's first heartbreak, romantically...hm. He had a few friends who grew up with him, most of whom were also part of the junior classical music circuit; some of whom he kept in contact with even as his career pivoted away from the classical niche and into pop performance. I think perhaps there was one lass who he might have returned to Monaco for rather than fucking off to Juilliard--if she had returned his affections. He had confessed to her over the phone, just after being announced as a semi-finalist for a large, televised popular music competition. She asked him to call her again after the competition was over, when he was gonna come home. He didn't make it as a finalist, and she never answered his calls then after. So he followed his initial plans and absconded to Juilliard with a different friend who he awkwardly...briefly fell in with romantically instead. Who knows why she never answered his calls, but Raf has no doubt attributes the fact that he didn't make it as a finalist to the reason why she stopped talking to him. That was kinda the first and last time he made the first 'move' for a romantic relationship, and has since taken a much more disinterested, aloof approach...as with most things, really. Margie's first heartbreak was in grade five! She had a huge crush on a boy one grade above her, and mentioned it within earshot of one of her classmates from the 'popular' clique. Those girls got really excited for her and offered to help set her up on a date with him, got him to come over and ask her out during recess, and when she provided a very overenthusiastic, "yes!", Margie found that she had only been set up as the butt of a very hilarious joke between the lot of them. In that same interaction, the lad coined a new name for her, "FleaGirl", and it stuck all the way until she graduated highschool. It's still one of those embarrassing moments that crop up in her brain during the Midnight Carousel of Shame that keeps her awake during restless nights. As a teen, she started flirting with people as a joke, cuz that's her affection could really be–and she delighted in weirding people out with the overfamiliarity she performed. It felt nice though, when the other person would volley back and try to out-skeeze her. She still doesn't know how to flirt in earnest, and will always make a joke out of her affections. It's always kinda up to the other person to respond sincerely if they're actually interested in her.

3) Does your character believe in soulmates, and why or why not? HAH woops, I accidentally answered this in the first question lmao

4) What traits does your character find most attractive in others? Raf values honesty and genuine expression. He really...really loves joyful, unironic cringe. Like, there's something really attractive to him about a person who can let their guard down in order to fully enjoy something. He's really attracted to people who seem impervious to expectation and can cut through what he perceives as the superficial, performative gestures of day to day interactions. Sometimes that takes the form of a counter cultural "I don't care what they think of me" rebellious personality. Sometimes it takes the form of, well...[[gestures at Margie]]. Also, he'd never admit this, but Raf is attracted to messes that he can clean up. Margie is attracted to nice hair, cute smiles, and warm kindness. Unprovoked kindness towards her is the fastest way to make her fall in love with you. The other is casual, affectionate physical touch. She is not immune to a well groomed sense of style and easy confidence, either. If someone is well dressed with nice hair, a straight, open posture, and a warm smile--that's an attractive looking person to her.

5) What does your character fear most in a relationship? For Raf, it's expending his usefulness and being discarded. In every relationship, he's waiting for that one chance to prove that he can't give, or be, or provide what his partner was hoping to get out of him. Or maybe they finally get what they were after and don't need to keep suffering the act of 'loving' him anymore. Or maybe something better will come along and make him redundant. He's always waiting for that other shoe to drop. His biggest fear is just learning that his partner was only pretending to love him, so as to pacify him while they extract from him whatever it is they wanted. For Margie, she's terrified of overstaying her welcome. She feels like as soon as she gets into a relationship a timer starts ticking down where, every day, she starts becoming a little less cute, a little less fun, a little more annoying, a little more difficult to live with. She's identified herself as a kind of 'manic pixie dream girl' that people initially enjoy because she's weird and quirky and playful. But the more time they spend with her, the less fun those things are. She never stops being weird and quirky and playful. There's no point where she is able to get serious and organise herself, and behave like a normal adult. No one wants to live with that for very long.

6) How does your character handle jealousy or insecurity in relationships? Margie has no jealousy. She's straight up chill to let her partners have other relationships or flings or whatever so long as they don’t lie to her about it. And she’s extremely trusting about this. Her insecurity about her own lack of desirability probably played a huge part in developing this polyamorous stance, but she genuinely does feel very comfortable and secure in it. Raf [[gritted teeth]] deals with it. Not very well, in previous relationships. Poorly, in fact. The very uncommitted, open ‘friends with benefits’ relationship he had with Margie for a while before he eventually admitted to himself that he really needs her to stay in his life–has done a lot of weird psychological lifting for him. There’s a really strong precedent for Margie to be honest with him about the nature of all her relationships. On top of this, she doesn’t have locks on her phone, she makes him hold her phone most of the time. She doesn’t care if he reads her messages or checks her emails [he Does Not Do This, if only for the exercise in restraint]. If he’s having the Weird Paranoia about Margie, the thought that “well, she’d let me go through her messages right now if I asked” is enough to leverage himself with. Sometimes he does ask, and she’s just like “sure, w/e”--and he pacifies himself on that without feeding the impulse further. And so, the paranoia usually picks a far more fruitful subject to latch onto.

7) What past relationship still impacts your character's current life?

  Raf is still comparing and contrasting his current relationship with Margie to his previous relationship with Lacey…and has been learning a lot about himself through the differences. Lace was arguably his only other “real”/serious relationship before Margie, and it was such an absolute trainwreck. But it’s also just what he assumed relationships were Like. Nowadays, he kinda dreads ever meeting with Lacey again because most of what he has learned is that he absolutely could have, should have treated her better, and she deserves an apology.

 Margie still thinks about her ex girlfriends in Montreal. She just really misses them a lot…She’d love to rekindle those friendships, and thinks there might still be a chance to do so, some day.

8) How does your character show love and affection?

  While Raf hates to have things expected of him, treating and gift-giving is genuinely his biggest show of affection. It stops the moment he feels like he’s being taken for granted, or as soon as he gets even the faintest whiff of entitlement. He doesn’t take kindly to being “hinted” at any more than he appreciates being straightforwardly asked for gifts or favours. It’s the fastest way to get him to withdraw. But If he gifts things and he feels like the gesture is genuinely unexpected and appreciated–it’s almost kind of a bond-strengthening exercise in of itself. He enjoys being helpful and feeling needed and appreciated, he just pathologically hates being taken advantage of or used. So–like…a lot of love and trust goes into the act of Raf giving something. It puts him in a vulnerable position, because the way the gesture is received will forever colour his perception of the relationship and can really…make or break it for him–beyond reasoning or any logical recourse.

 Margie shows her love and affection with physical closeness and careful patience. If there is someone she exceptionally loves and loves being around, she takes a lot of extra measures to make sure she doesn’t overwhelm them with her presence and she tries to really reign in how she acts around them so as to not be unpalatable. But she’ll drop her head on their shoulder or throw her legs across their lap. She’ll hold onto their arm while walking, and lean against them in casual settings. She just wants to exist in the same space, and reciprocated touch is a comforting reassurance that they do, as well.

9) What significant change has your character experienced in their understanding of love?

 The biggest thing Raf has so far learned is that love isn’t a tug-o-war of compromises and capitulations after all. If you love someone, you genuinely want them to feel safe and happy and secure, and so you’ll give things up and change your behaviour willingly for their sake with very little sense of loss about it. They’ll do the same for you, and neither will keep score about who gave up what, or who was willing to do the most work for the relationship. In the end, it’s not about him vs her or who gets to live ‘better off’ in the arrangement–but it’s a matter of collaborating to build a comfortable, happy environment together. One’s happiness is the other’s happiness. Not a competition, not a game of carefully measured concessions. A better whole.

  Margie has learned that she has a lot more to offer in a relationship than she thought; that emotional labour is an enormous contribution to a partner who is able to appropriately value it. Just because it comes easy to her doesn’t mean it’s worthless. Her love and affection is not a joke; it has meaning, it has worth. It’s worth a whole lot. 

10) What sacrifices has your character made for love, and were they worth it?

  Raf has to sacrifice his entire sense of safety and wellbeing every time he commits to a relationship. And, just this once, it’s been worth it.

  For each person that Margie has pursued as a romantic partner, she has sacrificed a friendship and definitely mourns each one. Raf is the first time she’s not had to sacrifice anything.

11) How does your character's cultural or familial background influence their views on marriage and relationships?

  Oh man lmao Raf’s Monegasque billionaire family dynasty…his parents genuinely really really love each other, but he has had very limited exposure to that. I don’t think he has ever seen them hug or hold hands, they stand very attractively next to each other and exude an imposing aura that commands respect. So…his idea of what marriage and relationships should look like is severely lacking. “Absolutely No PDA” has definitely stuck with him though.

  Margie’s from a lower income northern Ontario blue collar family with a dad who probably still makes “ol’ ball and chain” jokes about his wife, and a mom who does all the cleaning and cooking and doesn’t really get to enjoy her hobbies outside of the house. Actually, in a small way, this has probably contributed to Margie’s lack of enthusiasm towards getting married. She doesn’t wanna be anyone’s ball and chain, she doesn’t want to cook and clean, she doesn’t want kids. She’s written herself off as being absolutely unfit for marriage. She thinks she’d be an abysmal wife lmao

12) Does your character have a relationship that everyone else misunderstands?

No lmao everyone around them understood Raf and Margie’s relationship better than they did themselves for a long while lmao.

13) How does your character handle rejection or unrequited love?

  Raf has only really had to deal with this once, and he got pretty spiteful mad about it at the time. He also holds a mean grudge just…generally…so I do not think he’d be excited to ever meet her again.

 After the initial emotional gut-punch, Margie suffers a lot of shame and embarrassment and gets really depressed and quiet for a few days until something new and shiny comes along to divert her attention away. Anytime she randomly remembers a rejection though, she gets to re-experience it all again for a brief moment lmao stings.

14) What lesson about love is your character still trying to learn?

  Raf is still trying to really honestly believe that it can be this easy. He’s still waiting to hear what the catch is.

  Margie still has to fully internalise that the people who love her don’t find her annoying and will never tire of her–and that she doesn’t have to apologise for existing as a person with wants and needs

15) How has your character's professional life affected their romantic relationships?

  For Raf, it has severely limited his options–he refuses to date fans, past and present. If they recognize him as a public figure, but aren’t from a similar economic background as him, it’s basically a write-off in his mind. Eligible peers are hard to find…

 For Margie, it’s uh…homelessness definitely complicates things. All of her relationships prior to Raf were plagued with financial stress…and that can probably be cited as a major reason as to why most of her relationships fell apart.

[needlesandnilbogs]

writer asks! 13, 36, 81

ask game in question

13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

uhh... I have too much of a Complicated relationship with mirrorverse to totally call it pleasant, but it's nice that I've managed to stick with it and I'm still happy to write it most of the time, that should count?

really, a better answer might be the recent fic I published about mb going to the equivalent of the state fair, which popped mostly formed into my head, complete with both format and several lines already written, so it didn't feel like I was ever stuck on it! I liked that a lot lol

36. do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Sort of. I steal bits of outfits and personality from people I know for canon characters, but really the one-off OCs are more of real people. Two examples come to mind obviously: high school au mensah, who is very much my school's stage manager during my jr year, a senior who was like the epitome of coolness to me that year and remained enough of an inspiration to be a big part of HSAU Mensah, and Arden fairoak, a character I made up for a one-off mirrorverse thing who is now. not a one-off character. and also is very much based off my high school best friend.

the rest of the mirrorverse one-off OCs, excluding Arden's family who are all except for Bharadwaj named for local libraries, are named and loosely personality based off of historical figures or fictional characters, including: Caroline Bingley and Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen books, Nikita Gill, Vikram Seth, Fabiola Cabeza de Baca Gilbert...

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

Okay, there's two answers to this. both apply to my past self in 7th-9th grade

Generically: Stop being embarrassed of your stuff, idiot. (Expanding slightly more on that, you're not going to be seen as stupid for writing fanfic and (tagging @kellumnights and @clustxr because they'll know who and what I mean and laugh) if kellum could literally do That Story and JdS could do Hot Day in Hotwrong about it, you could totally put your stuff in the writers guild magazine and not just rolls and role-players original flavor.)

extremely specifically, re a thing I started then which became my favorite original universe:

Dear Past!Prime!Bardic,

actually write down exploring frontiers, please. I want that stuff now and I want more than I put on paper.

relatedly, you did not need to write the whole boring story to introduce everyone before you wrote the fun chapter. but thank you (genuinely) for the seven paragraphs of auri lore that I needed in eleventh grade when I restarted it

you did not need to feel so embarrassed about Plory and Ara having A Thing. it was what you needed to write at the time.

stop naming characters after your irl cousins bc eventually they find it and mock you

don't name the main character after yourself. they might be a self insert but you'll make it ten times harder to share it when you're my age because then you have to check every snip and make sure you renamed [name] to Ampara every freaking place.

seriously. names. Ampara, not [name]. Danessa is good, keep that. Savfira is gonna become stupidly hard to get spellcheck to understand but it's fine. Zynnia's great. dump Ariya and find a better R name that still lets you use Rya as a nickname. Ladira, not Lady. also by the way you add a seventh house later.

love,

present!prime!Bardic (PS we change our name.)

[adriswrld]

Retirement » Jay White ⁰¹

plot: jay white finds out abt reader's potential retirement at wrestlekingdom 17

trope: friends to lovers / he fell first, but she fell harder

pairings: wrestler reader x jay white / reader x (platonic) bullet club

a/n: he's hubby your honor 🤝 reader used to be in bullet club when kenny was leader btw! atp, y'all should just expect to see my oc azalea playing the best friend 😭

THIS WILL HAVE TWO PARTS!! THIS IS PART ONE!

"How's your neck feeling?" Sean, Y/N's personal camera man had asked after turning on the camera and filming. As she and her best friend who is also a WWE wrestler shared a YouTube channel, they were filming an episode of Y/N experience for WrestleKingdom 17. "Well, my neck is literally killin' me so I hope that doesn't effect my match later cause if it does the blame could go on Kairi and I don't want that obviously. People tend to blame the opponent if the champion has a bad match." Y/N shrugged, picking up her phone to check the time.

"I'm gonna get freshened up and then we will be leaving soon to pick up Azalea from the airport. I showered last night so don't even try to say anything." Y/N said, pointing at the camera before Sean switched it off. "I'll be waiting in the lobby, Y/N." Sean said, heading to the door and Y/N gave a nod with a tired smile. Y/N rubbed her neck with a tired groan, still hating that retirement was in the rear view for her. But if she wanted to preserve her neck, she had no choice.

Two hours later, Y/N was standing in the airport with Sean, Mercedes and Trinity as they waited for Pamela (Bayley) and Azalea to arrive. "Are you okay? You keep rubbing your neck?" Mercedes asked in a concerned tone.

"Oh yeah I'm fine, just a bit sore." Y/N lied, glancing at Sean who already knew the truth but understood why she was keeping it a secret. Before anything else could be said, they noticed Pamela and Azalea jog over to them after grabbing their luggage. Azalea grinned and pulled Y/N into a hug, Sean getting it all on video. "I am running completely on energy drinks right now so I'm little jittery," she said.

"Oh it's alright, Iz." Y/N reassured and Azalea pulled away to greet Mercedes and Trinity. Pam smiled and pulled Y/N into a hug, "It's so good to see you again. How are you doing?" Pam asked, pulling away gently, almost as if she was trying to be careful with Y/N and that made Y/N think Izzy might have told her about her neck issues.

"I'm doing alright, thank you for asking. Just a bit exhausted but I'll be okay." Y/N said, giving Pam a reassuring smile. "I'm so sorry I won't be able to join you all, I've got lots of things I've got to do today, I really wish I could join all though. Maybe tomorrow I can join you," Y/N spoke as they had all been discussing where to eat.

"It's okay, Y/N, we understand. We'll be alright," Azalea reassured and the three women plus Sean nodded in agreement with her. "All right. Just be careful, and have fun," Y/N said, hugging Izzy goodbye before gesturing for Sean to come on with her.

"It's probably just me but am I the only one noticing how much her moods changed? Like, she's not as happy and cheerful like she's always been, plus she keeps rubbing her neck like somethings wrong," Mercedes spoke as they walked towards the exit together. Azalea sighed and stopped everyone, causing them to all turn to look at her. "Don't tell anyone this but, ever since she broke her neck, she hasn't exactly fully recovered yet," Izzy explained.

"But the doctors said she was cleared?" Trinity added in confusion.

"She was, but a few weeks ago she started getting really bad neck pain so we went to the doctors and they said something was wrong. They said she was cleared but when she started wrestling it appeared that she didn't fully heal. It's actually extremely dangerous for her to still be wrestling. It's kinda like what happened with Paige's neck. It's why she was so urgent on dropping the title to you." Pam, Mercedes and Trinity were all to shocked and concerned to even speak.

"Does that mean she's retiring?" Pam questioned.

"Look, I'm not saying that she's retiring, but it's definitely in the near future for her. She obviously doesn't want to, but it's what's best for her health." Azalea corrected with a small shrug. She was the last person who wanted Y/N to retire but Y/N's health was more important than that. At least she got to say she had the greatest match of her career with her best friend.

"That does explain why she hasn't been in the happiest of moods," Mercedes mumbled sadly.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

"I called my very good friend Okada to help me out for my match yesterday but I just got off the phone with him and unfortunately he couldn't make it. But, as we are already here, I figured why not just train with Sean," Y/N said and Sean smiled. "It's gonna be a pain but I could use the training," Sean agreed and Y/N chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"It's supposed to be closed as of now but I was given a key a long time ago in case I ever needed it. So, let's go inside." Y/N smiled as she unlocked the doors and entered the building. As they walked in it appeared the lights were already on so someone must've already been there. "Oh it looks like someone's already here," Y/N said quietly.

They could hear voices and Y/N couldn't help but find those very familiar. She could pick out El Phantasmo and Jay White's voice anywhere. "I knew I heard my boys," Y/N grinned as the two men both turned to look at her, immediately growing smiles once they saw her. "No way, is it the one and only Bullet Club Princess?" ELP aka Riley grinned and slid out of the ring, walking towards Y/N with open arms.

"Aye, former BC Princess. Not anymore." Y/N playfully corrected as she ran into his open arms. "Oh come on, you'll always be the BC Princess." Riley playfully nudged her once they pulled away and he shook Sean's hand with a polite grin.

Jay sat on the ring, a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched Y/N walk towards him. "Still a cocky lil shit, aren't you? Not gonna come and greet me like a gentleman?" Y/N joked, getting Jay to crack a small laugh as he jumped down and let Y/N bring him into a small hug. "Nice to see you again, princess." Jay mumbled into her hair causing her to mentally freak out but she held her usual chill composure.

"Mmm, nice to see you too, Jamie." Y/N pulled away and Jay threw her arm around her, pulling her into his side like it was a normal interaction. "You know you can still call me Jay, right?" Jay raised his brows, still obviously confused on why she used his real name. "Nah, I like Jamie," Y/N winked, flashing a smile, he shook his head in amusement and didn't argue with that.

"So, what are you guys doing here anyways?" Riley questioned, choosing not to tease Jay for his crush on Y/N.

"I originally was suppose to train with Okada this morning to prepare for my match but he got busy so he had cancel. Figured I'd just train with Sean," Y/N informed, crossing her arms over her chest. Sean nodded, confirming her statement as he held the camera. "You can join us then, Riley was helping me train for my match with Okada anyways." Jay offered, Riley also agreeing with him.

"Sounds good." Y/N accepted.

Sean and Riley trained in one ring as Jay and Y/N were training together in the other ring. Riley was helping Sean improve in his wrestling so that was a huge help for him. "I haven't figured out how I wanted the match to finish, you know? All I know is that I really want to pay a tribute to Kenny and Azalea in the match, but I already figured that out," Y/N said to Jay as they discussed how she wanted her match to go with Kairi Sane.

Jay licked the front of his teeth, wondering if Y/N was still involved with Kenny. "Oh, uh are you and Kenny still, ya know?" Y/N's eyes widened slightly, knowing where he was going with that and immediately shook her head. "Definitely not, we ended things in like early 2019. We're still extremely good friends though, he's always been one of my biggest supporters." Y/N pursed her lips, silently wondering why Jay asked about Kenny. "Why?" She questioned.

"Just wondering," Jay shrugged it off but Y/N was still a bit suspicious.

"Well, we should continue now, I want to be at the dome early," Y/N said, getting back on track. "Yeah of course." Y/N stood up from sitting on the middle rope, "Can I borrow the blade runner?"

"I'm not sure, you technically never joined my bullet club," Jay pursed his lips sarcastically and Y/N hit his shoulder playfully with a laugh. "You turned on Kenny, how could I possibly join your club without it seeming like I'm betraying him?" Y/N pointed out as she circled him.

"Easy. You could've just chose me. I would've treat you better anyways." Jay said, adding a little truth to his words. Y/N glanced down in thought, thinking into what he said.

"All right, let's get back to it."

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

"Oh my god, your hair looks so beautiful, what the fuck," Y/N spoke as she entered the room Mercedes was in. "You like it?" Mercedes smiled, pulling Y/N into a side hug but being careful with her neck. "I love it. It looks amazing on you. It's like you burning the blue hair, putting that in your past and opening a new chapter as Mercedes, yeah?" Y/N asked. "Dude you got it perfectly. Yes, that's exactly what it means."

"I'm gonna get goin' but you call me if you need anything sweets." Y/N said, patting Mercedes's shoulder. "I will, thank you."

Y/N walked out of the room with her suitcase, going towards her personal locker room to drop her suitcase and bags off. "All right, now we are going to go search for the lovely Azalea who I'm sure is around here somewhere. She said she was by the ring since we last texted." Alice spoke, her hands tucked into her pockets of her joggers as Sean followed her with the camera.

"It's so amazing being here again. All the memories I've had here is just so surreal to me. It's gonna really hurt when I perform here for the last time. I'm just glad it's gonna be against Kairi. She's one of my greatest friends." Y/N and Sean both walked down to the ring, immediately did she spot Azalea talking with surprisingly, Jay White. She knew they never even met each other so that was kinda a shock to her seeing them in a deep conversation.

As Y/N walked up to them, Jay turned to look at her, "Why didn't you tell me you're retiring?"

Y/N blinked, being caught off guard with the sudden question. Y/N looked at Azalea with accusing eyes, "I'm sorry babe, but he was asking me why you always looked like you were in pain when you trained. He's really convincing, I'm sorry." Azalea frowned, suddenly feeling bad for telling Jay what was going on when Y/N trusted her with that information.

Y/N sighed, running a hand down her face exhaustion. "I'm not retiring, okay? We don't even know that for sure. Doctors just said that my wrestling days are limited if it keeps getting worse," Y/N explained. "Then why are you wrestling tonight if you know it can end your career? Are you insane, Y/N? Just drop the title before you permanently damage your neck." Jay argued, not understanding why she wasn't listening to everyone's warnings.

"I can't!" Y/N snapped, then taking a few breaths to calm herself down before she got even more upset and said something she might regret. "This is my legacy, Jay. This is my story and if I'm gonna go out, it's gonna be on my terms. Whether it ends tonight or next month, it's on my terms. You can hate me for it all you want, but it's my decision. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go see my friends cause it might be a while before we see each other again." Y/N plastered on a fake smile and walked past them to go find Okada.

Jay ran a hand down his hair, frustrated but also hurt that Y/N wasn't at least making an effort to preserve her career. "You're in love with her, aren't you?" Izzy tilted her head curiously, making Jay immediately turn to look at her. "Where did you get that idea from?" Jay scoffed in denial.

"Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that you seem to care about her more than you're letting on. And, I've watched her old YouTube videos of her backstage with the Bullet Club and I couldn't help but notice everytime she was with Kenny, you always held that jealous glint in your eyes. She even told me how you tried to convince her to join your bullet club. It was so insanely obvious. You're kinda lucky she's a little oblivious." Azalea smiled sarcastically as Jay rolled his eyes.

"Fine, maybe you're right. But, don't tell her, I plan on telling her myself, tonight." Jay stuck out his hand so they could shake on it, it took her a moment to think before ultimately shaking his hand in agreement.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

Y/N paced back and forth nervously, her title strapped around her waist as she watched the TV where Kairi Sane was making her entrance. "You can do this, just go out there, don't fall, don't be stiff, show everyone why you're the best. Do what you do best, win, wrestle and entertain." Y/N spoke to herself, trying her hardest to motivate herself but she was failing miserably, growing more anxious by the second.

"Hey, Y/N. Are you okay?" Jay walked up to them and Sean took it as a sign to let the two talk alone.

"Do I honestly look okay?" Y/N deadpanned then frowned, not liking when she came off as rude. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm just freaking out, or panicking or something, I don't know," Y/N rambled, breathing heavily, she leaned on the wall behind her.

"Shit, okay I was gonna do this later," Jay mumbled to himself before placing his hands on her shoulders and her hands went up to his arms. "What are you?-" Jay cut her off, pressing his lips gently against hers, in the process, distracting her from all her previous thoughts. Y/N practically melted into the kiss, immediately placing her hands on his, she kissed back. Hearing her music begin to play, they both pulled away and before she could get a word out, one of the workers dragged her away and up the stairs.

"What happened to waiting till after the show?" Jay jumped slighly hearing Azalea's voice, turning around he noticed her leaning against the wall with crossed arms. "I was trying to calm her down," Jay defended.

"Dude, you realized that literally could destroy her entire focus on the match? You better hope nothing bad happens, if it does, I'm kicking your ass," Azalea stated before walking off to go watch the match with Trinity and Pamela in the stands where they couldn't be caught on any cameras as it went against hers and Pam's contracts with the WWE.

"Shit," Jay muttered, running a hand down his hair.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to get a breath in as she just superplexed Kairi off the top rope and immediately performed a Blade Runner after. The match was almost over and it was one hell of a match. Kairi was killing it and some even thought she might actually just pull a win over the champion. But, Y/N wasn't gonna let that happen. She had to admit, the kiss was a little distracting. It was just so sudden and unexpected. She didn't even think Jay was single after seeing those rumors about him with a new girlfriend.

Y/N crawled over to Kairi, attempting a cover but Kairi kicked out at two. "Fuck! Just give up!" Y/N leaned against the ropes, running a hand over her hair in frustration.

Kairi stood up tiredly and immediately ran and knee'd Y/N before she could block it. She dragged Y/N to the turnbuckles and began to climb up the rope. The crowd automatically assumed it was over for Y/N the minute Kairi hit the insane elbow. But, as Kairi performed it, Y/N got her knees up at the last second. Kairi groaned and Y/N stood up and jumped onto the top rope, performing her finisher, the Royalty Deathdrop. It was basically a backflip off the top rope into a DDT.

She hit it perfectly. "ONE..TWO..THREE!" Y/N grinned and tiredly crawled to the bottom rope, attempting to pull herself up as they announced her name as the winner. The official handed her the title and raised her hand before she immediately collapsed back onto the mat, barely able to hold herself up. Her body was battered and bruised so it was surprising that she wasn't even unconscious.

Kairi stood up and immediately went towards Y/N, extending her hand in respect towards her competitor. The crowd watched in anticipation, waiting to see if Y/N would accept her hand. Y/N hesitantly took Kairi's hand and the crowd applaused. Kairi pulled the taller woman up and raised her hand, showing a sign of respect for the retaining champion.

All until Y/N's hand dropped, the music hit. The music of Mercedes Moné.

The crowd cheered, obviously most knowing who she was. Y/N sat down on the middle turnbuckle, watching as Mercedes ascended down the entrance ramp. Kairi stood near Y/N as they watched Mercedes enter the ring. A whole new look on her, she was almost unrecognizable if you seen her as Sasha Banks in WWE. This was an entirely different woman and she wasn't here to play games. She was here to make history, money and win championships.

Kairi looked at Y/N silently asking if she wanted her to stay. Y/N shook her head, waving her off and Kairi stepped out of the ring, letting Y/N handle her business. Y/N stepped up, not liking the disrespect of Mercedes. She didn't have to say anything, she just raised her IWGP Women's Championship right in the face of Mercedes, not backing down to her.

Mercedes stuck her hand out, Y/N looking at it in suspicion. She took it hesitantly and Mercedes smiled as they shook hands. A show of respect. Y/N went to pull her hand away but Mercedes held it tightly so she couldn't let go. She pulled Y/N in, making her drop the title and performed what looked to be a gory bomb only it was straight into a DDT. Y/N groaned as she hit the mat, selling it perfectly so it made Mercedes look like a huge threat.

Mercedes walked over to the title and slowly picked it up, then dropped it onto Y/N's barely conscious body. "Give me a mic," Mercedes stuck her hand out, leaning between the ropes, they quickly handed her a microphone and she slowly made her way back to Y/N.

"Y/N, awee, congratulations on making history tonight, once again. I also know a thing or two about making history," Mercedes grinned, the crowd cheering for her. "I am here, in New Japan and Stardom to make some more. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the standard. The conversation. The blueprint, and the CEO of this women's division."

Mercedes kneeled down next to Y/N's body, the champion not even attempting to get up or open her eyes. "So Y/N-San, enjoy your IWGP Women's Championship while you can. Because at Battle in the Valley at San José. Imma leave you bankrupt bitch. And you can bank on Moné." Mercedes took the championship and lifted it up, throwing the mic to the side as her music played.

Y/N rolled out of the ring once Mercedes made her way out. She grabbed her championship and let one of the officials help her walk to the back. She held an ice pack against her neck, as Azalea rushed up towards her and Sean obviously shortly behind with the camera. "I need to lay down," Y/N spoke, letting Azalea help her walk towards her locker room rather than run to do the press conference. They could hold it back a few minutes for Y/N like they always did.

"I love you, but you need to chill out with these extreme matches. If this next one is your last, don't hurt yourself worse trying to prove yourself. You had thousands of people watching you tonight, I'm pretty damn sure they know you're the best." Azalea said, handing the title to Sean for him to hold it until they got to the room.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll take it down a notch next time. Sean, you can turn off the camera, I don't wanna film right now." Y/N leaned her head on Azalea's shoulder in exhaustion, not seeing that Jay was standing outside her locker room door. But, Azalea and Sean noticed him.

"I'm gonna go get the ice, lots of ice," Sean excused himself, leaving Azalea to deal with that by herself.

"I need to unlock the door so I need you to hold yourself up for a few seconds, okay?" Azalea slowly moved Y/N's arm from her shoulder and instead of Y/N supporting herself, Jay immediately went to hold her up. Y/N looked at him and sighed, watching tiredly as Azalea hurriedly unlocked the door to the locker room.

"You're probably gonna need a cat scan," Azalea mumbled, opening the door and Jay helped Y/N inside. Azalea switched on the lights as Jay helped Y/N lay down on the couch. "After the amount of neck bumps she took, I'm surprised she didn't break it," Jay added. Azalea pursed her lips, agreeing with him and Y/N tiredly hit his shoulder. "Don't be an ass. I had to make it look like it was killing me," Y/N muttered.

"I'm pretty sure it was killing you considering you can barely stand on your own," Azalea deadpanned.

Y/N rolled her eyes and moved the ice pack from her neck to her forehead. "The match looked good though, yeah?" Despite her current situation, she still loved wrestling and absolutely loved being out there in front of an audience. Nothing could ever take away her love and passion for the sport. Retirement or not. She would always appreciate it.

"You never had one bad match and it hasn't changed yet," Jay spoke before Azalea could respond to her friend. As Y/N went to say something, the door opened and in walked Sean with the ice packs and Mercedes. "Got the ice, and a visitor," Sean tossed the ice to Izzy who caught it with ease before he grabbed the camera and turned it back on.

"Hey, I didn't see you backstage so I got worried. And I noticed you could barely walk so I wanted to come check on you." Mercedes kneeled down next to the couch as Jay moved out of the way for her. Y/N sat up slowly, still trying to control her breathing. "You didn't have to, but I appreciate it. How are you feeling?" Y/N smiled, taking Mercedes's hands in her own.

"I feel like I'm on top of the world. This is all I've ever wanted and honestly, I'm still processing it all. In a way, I finally feel free, ya know?" Mercedes smiled as she spoke, still running on adrenaline from her debut. It completely took her mind off the fact that she was possibly gonna be the one to retire Y/N at Battle in the Valley.

"I understand completely. I'm literally so proud of you, I could cry. You deserve to live your dream, you deserve all of this. Don't let anyone tell you different. You belong here." Y/N stated, being filled with nothing but joy for Mercedes. She couldn't have been more proud of her.

Mercedes smiled, feeling a tear fall that Y/N wiped away. "Thank you so much. For everything." Mercedes said, blinking away her tears.

"You don't have to thank me. Just show me who Mercedes Moné is, and that's all I need." Mercedes chuckled and nodded, being gentle as she hugged Y/N. "I can't wait to beat you," Mercedes teased, pulling away with a smirk.

"All right, don't get all cocky now." Y/N scoffed lightly in a joking manner.

Mercedes snickered and stood back up, now turning her attention to Jay as Y/N leaned forward for Azalea to press the ice against her bag. "I don't think we've met yet. I'm Mercedes, it's nice to meet you," Mercedes smiled humbly as she stuck out her hand.

"Jay, it's nice to meet you as well. I've heard great things," Jay shook her hand gently with a warm smile.

"Well, I should get going. Imma let you rest and we'll meet up tomorrow?" Mercedes said towards Y/N. "Sure thing," Y/N nodded. Mercedes and Azalea shared a hug before she exited the locker room.

"You two have five minutes, then you need to do the conference and we can go back to the hotel or finish watching the show. I'm sure you don't wanna miss Kenny and Will's match." Azalea said before grabbing Sean and exiting the room to let the two discuss the elephant in the room.

Y/N cleared her throat, and patted her hand on the couch, telling Jay to sit down. His sigh was barely heard as he took a seat next to the woman he'd been in love with since their first interaction. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I definitely shouldn't have done that without your consent, that was extremely out of line," he began, causing Y/N to turn her body towards him, groaning at the pain in the process. She had never been so sore in her life. That was another reminder that she had to hang up the boots sooner than later.

"I'm not mad that you kissed me, Jamie." Y/N cut him off, using her left hand to move his face to look at her. "You're not?" Jay feigned confusion, being so sure that she was upset with him. After all, she hadn't spoken to him until Azalea left, which kinda forced them to have to talk.

"No. I'm mad that you didn't do it sooner," Y/N said, catching Jay off guard completely. Jay blinked, not sure if he heard that right or if his mind was playing games on him. "I can't tell if you're serious or not. Can you repeat that again?" He asked, being serious but not at the same time.

Y/N chuckled but stopped when she felt the pain in her stomach. "Look, I've always liked you, from the minute we met. But I wasn't in love with you," Jay's face fell hearing that but she placed her hand on his, silently telling him to keep listening. "I was so obsessed with thinking Kenny was the one for me because I genuinely never experienced love before him. I told myself so many times that he was the person I've always wanted when in reality, he wasn't at all."

"Then when we broke up and a month later I came back to Japan, you and I met up and I finally realized what was in front of my face the entire time. You always cared about me, and checked in after every match and that's something nobody else even bothered to do. You treated me exactly like I thought Kenny would. And I'm so sorry for realizing that way too late. I've always loved you, and when I found out you had a girlfriend, it was too late to tell you that I was in love with you."

Y/N wiped a tear that fell from her cheek, never being a fan of crying even if it was a happy tear. Jay furrowed his brows in confusion, processing what she just said, "I'm sorry, did you say girlfriend?" He questioned.

"Yeah, why? There was reports on Twitter that you had some secret girlfriend or whatever," Y/N shrugged. Jay couldn't help but chuckle, making Y/N raise her brows, not knowing if she should be mad or not. "Y/N, those were fake. That girl I was with was not my girlfriend. Riley and Will tricked me into going out with her. They said it was a guys night and when I show up, they're not even there and she just got caught in the middle of their jokes so I felt bad and just had dinner with her anyways. I don't even remember her name." Jay said, sighing when he realized he could've had Y/N much sooner.

"Oh." Was all she could say.

Jay noted her embarrassment and gave a squeeze to her hand, "I really wish I could go back in time and tell you how much I loved you way sooner. I could've had you this whole time."

"Well, there's no need to wait anymore," Y/N spoke softly, hoping he got the hint. Jay leaned closer towards her, careful with her body as of how sore she definitely was. "Can I kiss you, Y/N?" Y/N smiled and nodded, "Of course you can, Jay," letting him press his lips softly against hers. The kiss wasn't rushed like the first one. It was perfect. It was...everything.

Jay pulled away with a cheesy smile, "You called me Jay," he pointed out. Y/N rolled her eyes and playfully pushed him back, "Shut up, Jamie," she scoffed. Jay grinned and pulled her onto his lap, mumbling small sorrys when she winced. "I love you, Y/N," he spoke softly.

"I love you too, Jamie," Y/N pressed a small peck to his lips.

[woozivrse]

Hiding the Truth, Pretending I'm Fine

Jeon Wonwoo x gn! reader

Genre: Hanahaki AU, college AU, fluff, usual angst that comes with the AU, happy ending!

Words: 4k and some change!

Warnings: vomiting, doctors, surgery mention(doesn't happen! don't worry<3), implied depression? reader feels down and i kinda wrote it in a way that it could be read as depression..., death mentions(one a joke at the start, and the other being apart of the whole AU thing..., cursing, my ocs Mai and Kimi(ok my friends oc...) use different pronouns, Mai(She/He) and Kimi(She/They), blood

Notes: sooo... if you've read this before you are either 1) a friend i had read this for school or 2) you are my old english teacher, in which, hi. why are you here. please leave. please. aka i am repurposing this for tumblr, because i am pretty proud of it, meaning please be gentle on me. i am just a tiny tiny child. but tell me what you think! tell me if i missed any warnings, and stuff like that! also, stole the title from bittersweet. you'll see why! enjoy<3

You had been in love with Jeon Wonwoo for who knows how long, but you hadn't known it. Until you started coughing. You wish it had been easier.

❀DAY 1, SUNDAY 8:30AM, YOUR APARTMENT

“Ooh my baby,” You cooed. “How's my little baby~ Hm? How are you Hoshi? What about you Byeol~~ Thank you for the gift~~”

Kimiko, your high school friend slash roommate, burst into your room. “Stop being a crazy cat person! Get up and out, Wonwoo is waiting for you,”

“Already? I just woke up–”

“Oh, no he's not here, here. He's just waiting for you like, in general y'know?”

“Die,”

“Not how you talk to your bestest friend in the world,” She pouted.

“That would be Wonwoo,”

“Bestest roommate in the world?”

“Mai.”

“Fuck youuuu,”

❀9:25AM, ROCKET CAFE

Sitting down, Wonwoo placed an iced latte in front of you. Every Sunday, the two of you met at either the library or the cafe to plan your week out together. This week was the cafe. He stared at you, watching you work.

“Stop watching me, creep,” you grinned, tapping your foot against Wonwoo. “C’mon, I know I’m pretty ‘n all but you really should stop staring at me,”

“So full of yourself,” He teased. “You’ve got something, here I’ll get it.”

You rolled your eyes at Wonwoo pretending to fix your hair. Always trying to “fix” something, your hair, your clothes. You knew you weren't a messy person. What you didn't know was why Wonwoo did it. Sighing, you just let him fiddle with your hair. As he did that, you stole his phone, unlocking it to check his calendar for the week.

“Boo,” you pouted. “We barely match up this month, outside of class. Look! We don’t match this week and next week we match once, on Friday night,”

Seemingly done with your hair, he checked your planner. “Oh, you’re right. Isn’t that during the get together Cheol is holding?”

“Oh I think it is,” you sulked. “No free time for just us! Oh I am in pain, jail for a thousand years!”

He chuckled. “It’s fine, we can sneak some time in,”

“Not at a Cheol party. I’m gonna be tipsy and you’re probably going to be on babysitting duty,”

“Babysitting you,”

Grumbling, you stood from the chair and fell onto Wonwoo's shoulders like a lump of nothing, smacking him a little. Vernon, your mutual friend who worked at the cafe, took a picture and sent it to their group chat without the two of you, followed by a text saying “yo right in front of my salad?”. The group chat exploded with messages with variants of “they’re seriously not dating?” and one text from Joshua, one of the other workers at the cafe, saying “get back to work!!”.

❀DAY 4, WEDNESDAY 12:30PM, ON THE WAY TO CLASS

This, you decided early on in your college days, was your favorite part of college. Walking with Wonwoo to whatever class you two shared, was great(unless the two of you didn't share a class, in which he would walk you to whatever class you had after the two of you had lunch).

You looked at him, seeing him staring at you, again. “Hey, what's with you looking at me so often, huh?” You raised a brow. “What, do you like me or something?”

He smiled, “Sure, something like that,”

Your face warmed, you could just feel the heat go to your ears.

You whipped your head away from him before saying. “Oh– oh just shut it! Don't even joke about that, Wonwoo!”

And then you started coughing, which granted, the weather had been getting colder, but you started coughing hard. Leaning down, you started coughing into your elbow before pulling away and seeing… petals? Bloody, purple flower petals. You quickly grabbed them before shoving them into your pocket.

Wonwoo put his hand on the small of your back, rubbing it. “Woah, hey, are you alright? Do you need water, anything? I’ll take you home if you need,”

You nodded, your throat still feeling a little raw. “Um… yeah, water would be nice, please,”

He handed you his water bottle, yours being at home. “Here, just drink from it. I’m fine without it for now,”

You sent him an appreciative look before downing the water. “Okay, I think I’ll be good for class now,”

He looked at you, obviously worried. “If you're sure… but I’m taking you home if you start coughing like that again,”

❀1:47, CLASS

You started coughing again.

There was no reason for it, you had just caught Wonwoo once again looking at you weirdly, causing your heart to flutter just a bit before you had berated yourself, thinking, Stop it, stop it! He doesn't like me…he just doesn't. And then the coughing happened again.

It had been so bad that the professor had stopped class and asked if you had needed to go. Wonwoo answered that question by grabbing your stuff and taking you out of the class. Oh well, you thought, Guess going to that class was for nothing.

Once you had finished coughing, you again found bloody petals. What the fuck…

“Hey, are you sure you're okay?” Wonwoo looked really worried now, placing a hand on your forehead, then cheeks. “You certainly don't seem okay, but you’re not warm or anything,”

You shook your head. “I think it might be the weather. You know I get a little iffy around this time of year,”

He hesitantly accepted your reason, knowing it was true, just usually happened later in the year. He shrugged his jacket off, placing it on your shoulders. “Well, keep this on until we reach your place, I don't want you actually getting sick,”

❀2:07PM, YOUR APARTMENT

Sitting on your bed, your eyebrows scrunched up before you sighed. Just, what was happening to you? Coughing up flowers– that's something out of a storybook, not real life.

Your heart fluttered when you thought about Wonwoo, but why. Why was your heart doing this, why, why, why. Wonwoo was so sweet to you, that's why, you reasoned. Right? You…didn't like him, did you? You couldn't.

You started coughing, again. Running to the bathroom, you knelt over the toilet.

❀2:34PM

Kimi sang. “Your favorite dancer is home~”

Kimi stepped into the kitchen, dropping her bag into the floor, before calling your name. “Hellooo?”

Silence filled the apartment, which left Kimi worried. Walking through the hallway, Kimi knocked on your bedroom door, opening it when no noise happened. Nothing.

“What the…” Kimi muttered. “Ugh, where’d I put my phone… dance practice you thot!”

Dragging herself back to the kitchen, she shuffled through their duffel bag. Calling your phone, rings came from the bathroom. Making her way to the bathroom, Kimi barged in. There you were, in all your shitty, sweaty glory was you, throwing up into the toilet.

“Fuck!” Kimi dropped to her knees, rubbing your back. “You should’ve told us you were sick. One of us would’ve stayed home for you,”

You whined. “Kimi… it’s fine both of you were busy, I couldn’t let you guys stay home. Besides, this happened during class.”

“The one you have with Wonwoo?”

Nodding, you straightened. “Mm… he brought me home,”

“What happened?”

“I… um… started coughing up flower petals…” You muttered.

“You what?”

Sighing, you reached your hand into your pockets and brought out the bloody flower petals.

“What the– Why are they bloody!?”

“I started coughing these up,” You started to explain. “Look, they’re in the toilet bowl too. I… I asked Sayu, before I went into the bathroom, she said they were bittersweet or something like that…”

“You should go to the ER! Or at least the doctor– you don’t know what this is,”

“I will, I will. I was going to call her after this whole…fit,”

❀DAY 6, FRIDAY 1:15PM, SEOUL DOCTOR

“So, what’s the reason for this appointment?” Doctor Kim asked, checking the files in hand.

“Um…so the other day, Wednesday, I uh… started coughing flower petals,” You explained, pulling the petals out. “They were um, bloody.”

Clicking her tongue, Doctor Kim examined a petal. “Oh dear…I see,”

“Why’d it happened? How’d it even get in my body?”

Doctor Kim sighed, pulling up an article on the computer in the room. “I’m afraid there’s not much research on this. I’ve never personally seen it but I know doctors who have diagnosed it. We’re calling it hanahaki, from the Japanese words 花 and 吐く, flower and to vomit. We’ve noticed that it’s from unrequited love,” she glanced at you and then the flower petals, “Do you…do you love someone? Do you believe they don’t love you back?”

You played with your hair, suddenly the floor looking interesting. “Um…I…I guess,”

“You guess?”

“I do. I…kinda just realized it and then spiraled for a little. On Wednesday, when I first coughed them up.”

“I see. I’m going to give you options and I will definitely push you towards a specific one. But I want you to know that it is entirely up to you, what you want to do,” sighing, she leaned onto her knees. “You could confess, and if your feelings get reciprocated the flowers will leave your body through a few days. If they don’t, then your lungs will grow with flowers faster and you’ll suffocate. If you do, come to the ER immediately.

“The last option is surgery, we remove the flowers and any roots in your lungs. But it’s a complicated surgery, and if successful you lose all memories of said person and you’ll never feel anything for them ever again. It’s a last resort for a reason, and if you even think they return your feelings, confess. I mean it, you need to confess.”

❀DAY 8, SUNDAY 11:37AM, YOUR ROOM

Laying on your bed, you pulled your blankets over your shoulders, tucking yourself in. Getting up seemed to take up so much more energy these days, it was so much effort, effort you couldn't seem to put in.

Your phone rang, and you left it. It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. You sighed as it stopped again. It pinged a few times, two followed by one more before your phone silenced. You couldn't bring yourself to check, even though you knew it was Wonwoo, you set his notifications to have a special ringer. You were just… tired.

Nonu ❙

Hey, are you okay?

??? Hello??? You always answer, are you sick??

??? I’m coming over.

❀12:42PM

Wonwoo knocked on your door, before opening it. Seeing you still tucked into your bed confused him.

“I know I've asked this a couple times, but are you okay?” He sat on your bed, patting your leg. “Hello? Have you not woken up just yet?”

You hummed lightly. “No…I’m tired,”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to be alone? You seem…well tired,”

You hummed again. He couldn't tell what you were feeling, facing away from him and barely saying anything.

“I’ll go, but I hope you feel better. I’ll get Mai and Kimi to take care of you,”

❀DAY 10, TUESDAY 11:23AM

Knocking on the door, Mai entered the room after a beat.

“You haven’t woken up yet?” She questioned, sitting on the bed. “You ok? I haven’t seen you wake up later than 9 since we were high schoolers,”

“Maiiii,” You whined. “I’m so TIRED, I can't even explain why!”

“The petals?”

“Of course, it's the– How do you know about them?”

He shrugged. “Kimi told me a little, sorry.”

“It's fine. I mean, you would've found out anyways,”

“Yeah, I would've. What happened, like why are they a thing? Kimi only mumbled something about petals and blood and purple– good color by the way,”

“I mean, the doctor said it's this stupid thing called hanahaki–”

“Like, hana as in 花, as in flower?”

“Uh, I think– STOP you're distracting me!” You jumped out from the covers.

“Yeah, but that got you out of bed. That was the goal~”

“You are the worst,”

Pulling you by the hands, Mai led you to the dining room.

“Our zombie lives!” cheered Kimi.

Flipping Kimi off, you pried yourself from Mai’s arms. “What was that for? I was gonna get out of bed eventually, it's only–”

“Only 11:23!” Kimi cut her off. “You are two hours late youngster!”

“To what?”

“To civilization! You have never–”

“Once woken up after 9, yes I am aware,”

“So you are aware we were worried, right?” Kimi huffed. “Now, eat! You are a growing child, no child of mine will starve!”

“I'm 20. We are the same age,”

“And,” Mai cut in. “I'm 21. I say you eat and get yourself freshened up. We are having a roommates day out,”

“What happened to my childhood friend,” you sulked.

“She has gone nowhere, I have always been your mother,” Mai chided. “Now eat, you actually look like a zombie,”

❀12:15PM, HALF MOON CAFE

“So, young child of mine,” Kimi started, placing the group’s order down. “Why have you been coughing up a storm, and why are there bloody flowers everywhere? You only mumbled something about them, and I want to know why!”

The three of them were in a small cafe they frequented often, mainly due to your part-time job there.

“Still can’t believe you guys got me here on my day off,” you sighed, playing with your drink. “It’s nothing. I already went to a doctor, she said it was ‘Hanahaki’ or something,”

“Hana as–”

“Yes hana as in 花, as in flower. Why did you both ask the same question?”

“I needed clarification,” Kimi shrugged. “But like, what’s the haki part? Like what even is hanahaki?”

“The haki is 吐く, like to vomit,”

“It’s a disease where flowers grow in your- in your lungs?!” Mai read from his phone, head whipping to you. “And you could die?”

“Not so loud– lord why did we go here,”

“I’m sorry– you’re upset I’m being loud? You could die, do not tell me to be quiet?”

You sighed, “Look, this is why I didn’t want to tell anyone! They get all dramatic, it’s not a big deal. It’s due to unrequited love, so all I have to do is unfall in love.”

“Uh, speaking as the person who’s in a committed relationship,” Kimi injected. “Impossibly hard. Like, I’m talking insanely hard. I mean–”

“We get it,” Mai said, cupping her face. “Look, it even took me a while to get over my first ex, and he stalked me! I’m with Kimi, there are easier ways to do this.”

“Except there’s not! It's either I unfall in love, confess, or get surgery! And, mind you, that surgery will remove all my memories of said person and remove all my feelings. It’s not like I can do that. I can’t lose someone I’m in love with– and I can’t lose my feelings! How am I supposed to live without being happy, or sad, or–”

“Then confess! They’ll reciprocate them, I’m sure.” Mai held your hands. “Please, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you, you’re too important to us.”

“I am not confessing–”

“Confessing?” A voice cut in, Wonwoo. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Wonwoo! No, no! I haven’t been avoiding you, I’ve–”

“Been busy.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, if this was over some guy, you could've told me. I would've gotten it and backed off,”

You stood up. “It is not! Look, we went over schedules– we were both booked! You cannot say I have been ignoring you,”

“Does that mean you can’t answer my texts? Or calls?” He argued, walking away from you and out of the cafe.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t do the same to me. How come you’re acting like I’m doing it on purpose!” You followed.

“I haven’t ghosted you, never for days on end!”

“Oh sure,” You stopped and rolled your eyes. “I’m not arguing about this, not in public,”

“Oh so you’re running away, like always?” Wonwoo turnt around. “Like you always do when something happens, like the coward you are?”

Your eyes watered as you stumbled back like you were struck. “Fine! Yes, I’m running away, just like you said! Just like I always have, according to you, but don’t you dare try to come talk to me.”

❀DAY 13, FRIDAY 7:37PM, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL’S APARTMENT

You and Kimi walked into Seungcheol’s party, being eagerly greeted by Kim Mingyu.

He cheered both of your names. “Let me get you drinks, come in! I’m not allowed to help you with your coats, Cheol is worried about me breaking something again.”

Laughing, Kimi pat him on the arm. “It’s fine! I’m here to be sober, drunk watch and all that,”

“Mai forced her to be my babysitter,” You sulked. “Like I’m gonna get drunk off my ass or something…”

Mingyu and Kimi gave each other a knowing look. Like you hadn't been upset since the fight. Kimi pushed you further into the house, hearing the chatter of the others. Mai and Kimi figured it was best to get you to talk to someone, and what better way than to get her drunk with friends?

❀11:34PM

Bad idea. Mai and Kimi both forgot one important thing about a drunk you. You were an emotional drunk. Meaning, right now? You were sobbing your ass off, drunk, over Wonwoo.

Kimi could barely understand you because you were muffled by–

“Fuck,” Kimi muttered, launching herself towards you. “Spit them out, I fucking mean it you drunk fuck. Spit. Them. Out.”

You listened. Saliva and blood covered petals fell into Kimi’s hand. You fell into Kimi’s arms, still sobbing.

“He hates me Kimi! He does. He hasn't talked to me in 3 days! The longest we’ve gone is probably around a couple hours! Never this long,”

Kimi sighed, petting your hair. It pained them all to see her like this.

“He doesn't hate you, yknow,” Mingyu said, also patting you on the back. “He’s just upset right now. He’s probably also crying right now,”

“I don't want him crying over me!” You sobbed even harder.

Seungkwan hit Mingyu away, clicking his tongue. “Ignore him, Mingyu’s dumb. We know this. Wonwoo’s upset, but he’s not crying. He's probably thinking about what happened and trying to figure out how to apologize to you,”

“But he doesn't have to apologize, I was the one being a bitch!”

“All of you leave her alone,” Jeonghan swatted everyone besides Kimi. “Sweetheart, honey, drink this,”

He handed you a cup of water, urging you to drink. You tried to drink it, but instead a full flower came out of her mouth.

“FUCK,” Kimi shouted. “Fuck fuck- where’s their phone? Hurry one of you, give it to me!”

Kimi dialed your doctor, explaining that you had actually coughed up a flower. “C’mon hun, c’mon. Get up, we have to visit someone,”

“What's happening?” Mingyu questioned. “Kimi– what was that? Why did a flower come out of their mouth? Kimi?”

“Don't, don't worry. Just call Mai for me, tell her we're at the hospital. She’ll know why,” Kimi explained. “Sorry to bring the mood down,”

“Don't be. Now go, go! It seems urgent,” Cheol pushed the two of you out of the apartment.

❀11:48PM, SEOUL HOSPITAL

Your doctor sighed, closing the door behind her and facing Kimi and Mai. “I’m to assume you two are their roommates, meaning they told one of you at least a little?”

“Uhm, yeah,” Kimi fidgeted. “She told me a little, just like, uh she was coughing flowers cuz of something called hanahaki? Uhm.. and that it was a disease caused by–”

“Unrequited love, yes. However, that’s not something we’re entirely sure about,”

“What do you mean, not entirely sure about? Did you tell her something incorrect about a disease that could kill her!?” Mai shouted.

“Yes and no,” Doctor Kim sighed. “Look, ladies, hanahaki is rare– we’re not sure about everything. But, there's a theory, that I have personally searched into, that it’s not unrequited love. More like, insecurity in the afflicted. The flowers, do you know what they are and what they mean?”

“Oh! Uhm, I think I remember our friend saying they were bittersweet? And that they meant truth? Truthfulness?”

“Then, there. They likely need to tell the truth, if the theory holds up. Either way though, one of you should get whoever they’re crushing, or in love with, here as soon as you can. I will make an exception for you three, and only you three, to be here after hours if they have not gained consciousness. The other should stay with them. I don't want any surprises,”

❀11:57PM

“Where are they!?” Wonwoo bursted into the hospital lobby.

Ignoring the onlooking staff, he went straight towards Mai.

“Mai, you cannot call me, say my best friend is in the hospital, and then not give me context,” he said, holding the dead tired girl by the shoulders.

“You hung up on me right after I said they were here! I’m not calling you back and getting you into an accident– we do not need that! Now, come. I'll bring you to them, your job is to get them to actually tell you the truth. I don't care what it takes, they have to.”

Leading the barely taller man, Mai opened the door to your hospital room. Pulling Kimi out, Mai quickly pat you on the head with a quiet, “Confess,”

“Wonu?” You croaked.

“Hey,” He sat on the edge of her bed. “What happened? Why are you here– why have you been avoiding me? I thought we told each other everything,”

He looks heartbroken, you thought, heart clenching at it. “It- it wasn't your fault, Wonu. I just- if I told you, I’d lose you. I can’t do that,”

“But you're here, in a hospital. Mai said you could die. Why do you think I can live without you?”

“I-”

“Please. You’re my best friend, I can’t lose you,”

Bursting into tears, you sobbed. “Exactly! I’m your best friend, that's all I’ll ever be! Wonwoo, have you ever thought I wanted to be more than friends with you?”

“Wh–”

“It’s you, it has always been you! I just had a shitty way of finding out, and now I’m dying! I don't want to die. I want to live out my life with you, and Mai, and Kimi, and and just– everyone! But if I get the surgery I lose my best friend– the love of my life! It's either I lose you by confessing, or I lose you by forgetting you, or I lose everyone by dying! I don't want this–”

“Hey, hey,” Wonwoo wiped the tears from your face. “Who said you’d ever lose me? Remember, I will always be here for you. Always. Besides, I’ve loved you ‘since forever��. You have nothing to fear,”

Your eyes overflowed with tears, and your mouth, flowers. Calling a doctor, Wonwoo was quickly kicked from the room. Worried, he quickly walked to the lobby.

“Wonwoo!” Kimi exclaimed, bouncing anxiously towards him. “Where- where are they? Why are you out here?”

“Well, I got kicked out. We confessed but then they started coughing again and–”

“You finally confessed? Like, for real none of that ‘I love you, as a friend’ bullshit?”

“Yes– why is that what you're focusing on? They started coughing flowers again, Kimi,”

“I know, I know, but I’ve been waiting for this since I met you two. That was our first year of high school!”

“Stop fighting you two,” Mai butt in. “What happened? Why are you out here?”

❀DAY 14, SATURDAY 12:21AM

After explaining everything, the three of them went to hunt Doctor Kim down. Meaning, they were waiting outside of your room.

Walking out of your room, Doctor Kim turnt around and jumped. “Oh, you three scared me. Sorry, sorry. I should’ve told you to go home. But, they're fine. They’re resting now, you can visit when the hospital opens up again and you can see them then,”

“We can’t leave her!” Kimi whisper shouted, still aware of the fact that you were likely sleeping.

“No, you can’t but you will. I understand you’re scared about them, but they’ll be fine. They’ll have to stay here for another few days, but it’s just so we can monitor them. You can visit, but only during visiting hours. Now shoo, you are college students here on a Saturday,”

❀1:19PM, YOUR HOSPITAL ROOM

Wonwoo walked into the room, with a bouquet of aster flowers. Chuckling Wonwoo put them on the bedside table.

“Sorry, I know it’s a little soon,” Wonwoo sat. “but I asked your friend, um, Sayu? She said you thought they were pretty, the flowers, that is. Aster, she called them.”

You laughed softly. “It’s ok Wonu, they’re lovely. I love them, thank you,”

He smiled. “I’m glad. I know we only just established everything but I want to ask, can I be your boyfriend?”

You laughed, and Wonwoo pouted at that. “Sorry, sorry I’m not laughing at you. Never at you. Yes, of course you can be my boyfriend. Why’d I ever say no, I don’t know.”

THE END<3

[loosesodamarble]

I see you mention Nacht x Finral as a couple a few times and I'm curious of your thoughts of them together?

Well well well! And here I thought my FinNacht thoughts were being shouted into the void, never to be heard or replied to.

Thank you for your curiosity, Anon! I’m more than happy to answer~! 💖

For me, Nacht x Finral has a few factors feeding into it:

My headcanon is that Finral unofficially filled in as vice captain until Nacht’s return. Which would be the start of their personal interactions.

I can see both going “this squad is insane” though Finral says it out of concern while Nacht says it with annoyance. Still, I see them bonding over being more grounded members of the squad.

Nacht and Finral have complementary stories. Elder brothers who are outshined by their younger brothers whom they love despite a rift forming between them. But where Finral was able to save Langris, Nacht is racked with guilt over Morgen’s death. They could probably speak and comfort each other on this topic. Nacht would need a lot more comforting for obvious reasons but I love the idea of Nacht praising Finral for having the courage to reach out to Langris and being successful in saving his brother.

I just really like these two characters and want them to be happy, specifically together.

I can see Nacht and Finral at first mainly interacting as Finral gives Nacht a tour of the base (which isn’t entirely necessary since Nacht had been spying on the squad but maybe they still do the tour as a formality) and teaches him how to complete paperwork.

They’d then grow closer and bond over feeling like the only sane men in a room full of clowns (affectionate). Nacht and Finral do care for the Bulls but, well, friends can still find each other exhausting at times. But if Nacht starts getting too mean in his commentary (which he could still lapse into after his change of heart), Finral would stop him. Finral is gonna defend those he loves, even from other loved ones. Nacht would relent and they’d resume their lighter banter.

As an official couple, Finral would be taking the lead most of the time. He’s more open-hearted and affectionate then Nacht by a mile. Finral is no longer flirting with every other woman he sees. No. All his attention and silly pick-up lines would be reserved for Nacht alone. Nacht would act aloof or even annoyed but he'd be turning bright red because the positive attention warms his frozen heart. Nacht is quietly loving most of the time. He'd always watch out for Finral from the shadows and would sneakily show affection through hidden hand touches and quick smiles that no one else sees. And Nacht gives his coldest glare to anyone who shows Finral disrespect (a.k.a. Ledior and Liliane Vaude). Bold x shy lovers, that vibe.

Of course Nacht could also flaunt the relationship if he wants to annoy his squadmates, because if the Bulls are going to annoy him, then it's fair game for him to annoy the Bulls. Finral doesn't mind much. He'd more be flustered by Nacht taking the lead all of a sudden.

I'm fully aware that I'm making up a lot of this dynamic since the closest we've seen Nacht and Finral interact is when Nacht addresses the Bulls as a group, never one-on-one. But I'm trying to piece together what I know of their personalities and imagining what would come of it. But I honestly do think they'd do well together. Personality-wise. Character arc-wise. Not really appearance-wise since there's not much of a connecting thread in their visuals, but they would make it work.

FinNacht, my wee little ship in the night... In my silly heart, I feel like Nacht and Finral have potential. While I might not talk about it as much as my Nacht x oc ship, FinNacht is still a special ship that I will love and protect.

[futurechancer]

So, you have so TPTM OCs, don'tcha? What did Epsilon Girl, Genesis Girl, Solar Girl, Pulse Girl, Media Girl, Booru Girl, Corrosion Girl and Atheneum Girl go through, in a brief summary? What do they represent? Sorry for bothering!

LOOKING AT YOU LIKE THIS

EXPLANATIONS BELOW THE CUT

epsilon girl

she's the first girl i invented and was originally meant to be more similar to genesis girl in theme :) but in terms of theme epsilon girl is a bit. complicated.

she's basically a projection of my fears of change, wasting time, and not making a mark on history rolled up into one mess of a girl. she doesn't particularly have much of a backstory aside from feeling like she grew up faster than everyone around her

genesis girl

the girl of the hour (aka the girl i have the most concrete story for)!! her name is more a remnant from when she and epsilon girl were gonna be the same girl than anything else. i kept it because it's. a star thing i think.

she's most often correlated to stars because. something about people taking her at face value and appreciating what shows on the surface yet fearing her incomprehensibility.

she actually has a backstory! basically she's a theatre kid with gifted kid syndrome and undiagnosed autism. she fails to relate to her peers because of these things. now that i think about it like half my girls are basically just that. SHI

solar girl

fun frog fact! genesis girl and solar girl are the same :) consider solar girl to be a b-side to genesis girl that explores another part of her character (take note because this happens again)

solar is basically the gifted kid syndrome aspect, the song itself (so far) basically describing feeling either like an utter failure or a god to be praised with no in-between based solely on successes or failures in daily life. also there's religious imagery in the lyrics it's a fun time i might post the lyrics one day

pulse girl

she's probably the most straightforward in theme :3 hypochondria and otherwise fearing sudden pain and death!! a part of it is wholeheartedly trusting pop science and like. the shit your grandparents tell you. thinking cracking your knuckles causes arthritis except it's constantly checking to see if you're having a stroke despite no predisposition that would imply one

she doesn't really. have much a backstory BUT ONE DAY I WILL GET TO THAT PART. i thinj

media girl

one of my favorites actually :3 she too is pretty complicated so uh. she's basically made to encompass certain fictionkin/fictive experiences (hence 'media'). conforming when the way you work is inherently a deviation from the norm, struggles with identity, desperation to be liked, yk.

i was uh! not in a good place when i wrote this song but it ended up surprisingly rather rid of my more personal issues. media's whole backstory is basically trying to find people of her.. proclivity i guess?? in hopes that they were the missing link, despite having been burned so many times. the lyrics never really imply a sort of. happy ending for her but i think she would eventually feel better about herself

booru girl

but it gets worse before it gets better! this song is the only reason media girl is so rid of my personal issues bc this one's full of them /lh

and whaddya know? booru is media's b-side! :3

booru girl is sort of a delve into a single specific relationship media/booru must have had (that. mirrors the one i was in at the time. at least in part)

her name is in reference to online imageboards and the insane content they can sometimes hold within (it's a minor plotpoint in her story that she. looks at those on occasion idk)

it vaguely goes into her obsession with how people perceive her. her willingness to act for anyone who's willing to offer her any love. her willingness to express her hurt. to be hurt more, even. there's more i'll talk about another time perhaps but there are Implications in her story

writing this song in particular was a bit regrettable if i'm being honest but i also think it's a story that should be shared.

corrosion girl

her entire existence was a split second decision on my behalf

she's gone through her entire life not allowed to feel emotions because she doesn't express them properly! :3 and because of this she trained herself to never. feel basically. because expression emotions has been inexorably linked with hurting others in her head now.

now she struggles to connect with others because of how cold she acts. as if she's a statue. catatonic.

her name is sort of a double entendre? partially being about the thing a battery does and partially being about weathering stone

atheneum girl

the latest girl!!

she's sort of a spin on the whole 'quiet in the library' thing, her name basically just being a fancy word for library

her backstory is basically that Something happened to her in the past and she fears if she speaks up someone related to it will find out and ruin her. she thus feels as if she can't even talk to her therapist about what's really weighing on her! yaaay :)

like booru there are also some implications to her story that!! yeah

but otherwise thematically she's just representative of the fear of speaking up

oh yeah also

gay

[rowenna-887]

Happy Haloween! (very, very late)

I not gonna lie, i'm not that invested on the new mcl. I don't know why, maybe because the history is not that interesting for me, kinda forced too (ep 8, i'm looking directly at you). I feel like they are making a speed run of the history, like it happened in the new eldarya and love life, when in the old mcl, it took ages to we even date our crush! Wich is a shame, because i really like my oc for this new "era", but i feel like if i want a deep history, i'm gonna have to make my own. (kinda sound a little to convinced, but i just talking about change some details to my canon universe, this kind of stuff)

I have not much to say about this event (i just got the chance to literally play just Jason's route. lucky me, i guess?). The whole scene matches Marilia very well. They are a sucker for scare stuff, but the funny part? She's a very easy person to scare, and very dangerous because of that, i must say. As they say, "everything can be a weapon if you have courage enough." or this case, scary enough. This is more likely to heapen that it looks.

The clothes are meh, just the witch outfit really got my eyes, but just that one. Ah, and the "Colorful Calavera" outfit, i'm sucker for the Dia dos Las Muertos. Is such a beautiful and significant holiday.

Anyway, i'm planning to do edits more since i got time now, and actually play the game! who knows? maybe i start to like more.