#I'm not going anywhere

[spinfader]

Every transition timeline is amazing because everyone looks 100% healthier or happier after transitioning.

I've seen so many happy trans people today and I want to see more of us in the future.

Edit: First pic is the day right before I started HRT. Second was last week. Time flies.

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

My phone is glitching

it's under warranty so I have to take my beloved little looking glass, this physical extension of myself, wipe every trace it has ever known me from it's memory, put it in an unloving little plastic bag, and ship it off, cold, alone, without ever knowing if it will even be the same device that is returned to me

What I'm saying is I don't think my little emergency phone can support tumblr and this may actually mean thr queue might clear out

[tapakah0]

[bigassbowlingballhead]

i've been stressed lately and i think that's why i've been annoyed by everything in both the 911 and rwrb fandoms lately. Personal ahead.

a little more than a month ago i went to the doctor for some unexplained (substantial) weight loss and had a procedure last week and won't know any results until next. (if you can put two and two together you can probably figure out what i had done)

possibilities have been running through my mind for the last month (none of them good) and it's given me a really short fuse for bullshit. And it seems everywhere i look lately is more bullshit. more of the same, more shit takes, more people just being angry and it's been effecting me more than i realized.

I used to come here for silly funny horny jokes and lately everything just makes me feel down.

[justwanttobelovedbyyou]

[serickswrites]

I’m Not Going Anywhere

Warnings: hospital, referenced captivity, referenced torture, unconsciousness, self sacrifice

“Caretaker, I think you should go home and get some rest,” Teammate One said as they pulled a chair up next to the one Caretaker had been camped out in since Whumpee had been brought back from surgery. 

“Can’t.” Caretaker croaked, their red-rimmed eyes never shifting from Whumpee. 

Whumpee lay on the bed, completely unmoving except for the machines that here helping them breathe. The silence in the room, save for the rhythmic beeping of the hear monitor and whooshing of air from the ventilator, was unbearable. Teammate One could barely stand it. They could only imagine how it made Caretaker feel. “You need rest. Whumpee would want you to rest.”

“Don’t tell me what they want,” Caretaker growled. “You have no idea what they want.”

“And neither do you.”

Caretaker finally looked up, mouth open in a snarl, but Teammate One cut them off. “Whumpee gave themself over to Whumper so Whumper wouldn’t hurt you. Whumpee wanted you to live and thrive. They wouldn’t want you taking yourself to the brink just to be with them.”

Caretaker closed their mouth, tears shining on their face once more. 

“Go home. Shower. Eat. Sleep. I’ll be here with Whumpee until you come back. And if anything happens,” Teammate One said as Caretaker opened their mouth to protest, “I’ll call you. Now go.”

Caretaker slowly, reluctantly left. They continued to glance back over their shoulder at Whumpee. It was only after Caretaker left did Teammate One let their own feelings consume them. They took Whumpee’s cold hand in both of theirs. “I am so sorry it took us so long to get to you. Don’t worry, Whumpee, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

[meep-meep-richie]

𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙪𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩; 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜

[magnetictapedatastorage]

every single hotel has the same shitty bathtub. you would think some of them would have a different shitty bathtub.

[bluheaven-adw]

There is nothing he could do that would ever make me love him less. I will always cherish him, I will always love him, I will always be proud of him, and I will always be here for him... no matter what.

[hyenabeanz]

Today was so bad, the reflexive "I wanna be dead" thoughts happened. Hooray.

Everything hurts.

[aussietummytickler]

CW: abandonment, emotional manipulation

How *dare* you.

How *dare* you mislead my emotions.

How *dare* you lie both directly and by omission for so long.

How *dare* you be so callously dishonest.

How *dare* you lead my heart on for over half a year and make me feel like I was actually genuinely about and my feelings reciprocated, only to completely pull the rug from under my feet and essentially admit to all of that being a two-faced lie.

You have stirred self-doubt and unworthiness that I was pushing myself to fight against, only to reopen the wound.

You have played with my feelings, my heart, and stuck with those dishonest lies for so long, only to wait until I drove 3 hours for you to finally be honest.

You have awoken abandonment issues that had lain dormant and undisturbed, only for your atrocious, pathological dishonesty and callous manipulation to surge them back and bash against my mind's doors.

I would have respected you more if you had been honest from the start. I don't care if things had ended sooner, I would rather they would have and that you had been honest with me, rather than hold onto such bold-faced lies and deception for months and lead me to feel that I'd found companionship with you.

I would have rather you never reached out in the first place.

Despite all of this, you still deserve better than what you have had done to you, and what you have done to me.

But you hurt me, very, very deeply, and you don't get to decide that you didn't.

And if I am lucky, I will never speak to or hear from you again.

Let what has been spoken into the aether be so. Let this catharsis into the void allow me the chance to heal that much more fully, like that of transgressions written onto paper, and tossed into the flames to burn to ash.

And may I never know that kind of pain and heartache again.

I am 29 this Friday. And I just want my heart not to be broken again over the course of this next year.

Let me be, forever doing my best to be better, and to heal better from that which has caused me hurt.

Let my heart heal and find worthiness once again.

And let me never find myself within your presence again.

Goodbye.

[bionicle-ramblings]

So with the AI thing going down, I'm in the process of exporting stuff and what not

Until I know it's safe to post stuff again on here, I might refrain from posting anything for a while. Wanted to be upfront with all of you because I feel like that matters. I'll reblog stuff, but I might not really be actuve with anything I post until I know it's safe and data won't get stolen

@staff I'm not mad. Just thoroughly disappointed. I thought you were running a good website, even with this AI bullshit. Guess I was wrong

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Migrations Box: Winter 2024.

I really enjoyed this subscription last year, so I'm participating again! Of the lot, I'm actually most excited for VERDIGRIS (I know, right: wild, given that cover). I love getting surprise books I'd never pick out myself hand selected and shipped directly to me.

[handsinmotion]

I will wait for him with unshakeable faith.

[weirdestcornelius]

Don't worry you guys I ain't leaving

Sparkle on

[dark-ethereal-visions]