#I'm not glad it's been there this whole time

[moltenapian]

> assuming the dom is a man

> assuming the dom is doing it because they like to see the sub suffer instead of doing it purely as an exercise in making their sub feel good in the ways that best work for them

Like fr

Not to get too personal on main but I've been pretty seriously SAd fairly continuously over a period of about five years of my life. Without going into details, it's led to pretty serious drives to self-harm. More beneath the cutoff of you want to read, I guess. It's late so I'm going to be very personal.

Drives that have been rewarded by society at large, in fact. Exercising 25 hours a week on less than 1800 calories a day, while it absolutely ruined my body in the long, made me one of the best rowers in my state in the short term. Nobody pulled me aside and told me that it was unhealthy, that I'd hurt myself, that in four years I'd hardly be able to function and certainly not in any high level athletics. No, they just cared I was faster at racing boats than the others.

I sought self harm in a lot of ways, none of which were controlled. Staying up far too late and working much longer hours than I should have. Not eating anywhere near enough in order to maintain my thin figure. All of it, rewarded and encouraged.

Only after some very severe health scares and deep reexamination of my situation did I really truly identify these drives and how they affected me in such an unhealthy manner. I can't get rid of them. After five years of consistent sexual trauma (and otherwise but we don't need to worry about that) those things are rooted too deep to excise.

But now that I'm in a healthy relationship with a partner who is accepting and understanding of my hangups, trauma triggers, and the things which I need to be able to function in a relationship, I've been able to deal with these impulses in a healthy way.

Better to handle that stuff in a scene where absolutely everything is agreed upon by both parties beforehand, safewords are strictly enforced, and nothing gets pushed too too far. Just enough to stop the part of my brain that wants me to hurt to be satiated for a while. My instincts for self harm are almost entirely abated with occasional "rough" sex and bitter drinks (ngl in my experience a very good way to alleviate those feelings).

Anyways, these days I've been sleeping enough, eating enough, and the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life. A productive environment to be able to work out those feelings is really invaluable, and I'm glad to have it.

All this goes to say... it sounds like OP either hasn't practiced safe BDSM (which is a very real risk, don't get me wrong) or is simply judging something based on an emotional/moral reaction. Anyways the criticisms really don't hold up, and tbh in 98% of cases competitive sports teams rely on the same dynamics and are wayyyy more unhealthy. I could write a whole essay on this but now is not the time.

This post is stupid as hell and I'm certainly sorry I (and you all) had to see it

not me printing and framing this shit

[shiny-jr]

What a New Year’s treat to read the Ignihyde chapter!!! Love Imp! MC, they’re such a different flavor of scaredy cat compared to King! MC and genuinely seem torn up by their decisions to go along with changing the plot out of self-interest.

And the way Ortho just unnerves them by knowing they’re an imposter, blackmailing and enjoying their company because they actually do their job despite their fear. Idia also revealing he knew midway is so good too! He acts like he doesn’t care but the subtle changes to his actions.

AND WHEN ITS IMP!READER USED TO TRICK HERACLEA!!! They must be blue screening mentally as they calculate just what made the heroine so focused on them when Meg’s right there. Just those tiny glimpses of them escaping time after time as she defeats the threat, slowly focusing less on the cheering crowds unless it’s to scan it for those shy, terrified eyes, and slim horns. Idia’s right, Imp!Reader just accidentally captivates people with their shivering cat energy; his fast talking was probably due to all three and the fact he gets to have them completely at their weakest.

Idia is going to keep them right by his side during the whole conquest, keeping them safe from any harm from a stray arrow to just them tripping over themselves and getting a scraped knee. Casually reminding them he wouldn’t dare let harm befall his most valuable asset, propping them on his leg as he slouches on Zeus’s chest throne atop Olympus, letting them have a front row seat to the devastation unleashed onto the world with Ortho gleefully narrating everything.

This was worth the wait and I adored every scene and interaction~!

Okay, okay, finally getting around to the asks that have spoilers and talk about the Ignihyde part of Damnation. I've been waiting for a few days, there's a few other asks like this one, but I was saving them and waiting to make sure some time passed so hopefully most people read it already if they wanted to and got no spoilers. It's been nearly a week since I first uploaded it, so I think it's safe to address it now in conversations.

So far, I've seen some asks that mostly like the MC? Which is a relief. As I know sometimes anxious MCs can come off as annoying, and I'm glad that it wasn't the case for a majority of the comments and messages I've gotten about them. So I'm really glad that they've been well received!

I know Ignihyde isn't really a popular dorm compared to the others, so I was sort of concerned when uploading that it wouldn't get that much attention. But it did. Maybe not as much as say, Pomefiore, which was to be expected, but I'm glad my expectations were exceeded and the overall feedback seems to be positive!

[honeyjars-sims]

Part 2 Prologue #1: Growth Mindset

Author's Note: I made some changes to my plans so the next few posts will be the prologue to Part 2 of Safe Harbor. They will fill in some gaps from the last chapter and set things up for the next chapter!

I’m preparing for my therapy appointment but this time instead of making the drive to Evergreen Harbor, I’m logging into our meeting on my PC. 

“So how are things going in San Sequoia?” Khadija asks me once we’re both settled in.

“It’s going great,” I tell her. It’s a little weird seeing her on the screen instead of in person, but before long our conversation feels as comfortable as ever.

“I’m glad to hear it! Is everything going okay with your roommate? I know you were a little apprehensive moving in with someone you don’t know that well.”

“Yeah, Paul’s pretty cool. I figured he would be, being Lucy’s brother and all. And everyone in the community has been welcoming.”

“So no secret cult activity?”

“Nope,” I laugh. “If anyone’s performing any rituals, they’re doing a good job of keeping it under wraps.” My impression of my neighbors so far has been that they’re mostly wannabe bohemians–they like the idea of a homesteading lifestyle but don’t want to fully commit to a life without modern luxuries. Pretentious, maybe, but not harmful.

“It sounds like you like it there.”

“I do. It’s different, but it’s fun. I’ve been helping out with the animals; you know, cleaning the chicken coop and milking the goat, stuff like that. I even helped hatch a chick!”

Khadija laughs. “I have to say, I never expected you to be out in the field doing labor.”

“I didn’t expect it either, but it’s not that bad. I guess I’ve been doing a lot of new stuff lately. Paul convinced me to join a yoga class and I think it’s helped me relax. And would you believe I’ve been doing cross-stitch?”

“Cross-stitch? I wouldn’t have pictured that either, but it sounds nice.”

“Yeah, it takes a lot of patience because I messed up a lot at first, but it's kind of relaxing in a way.”

“Relaxation seems to be a big focus for you right now.”

“I guess so. I’ve been trying to find new ways to regulate my emotions like you suggested. Honestly, I’m feeling really good right now.”

“I can tell. I’m really proud of your progress, Johnny. I can see you’re really putting in the work.”

“Yep, even when it comes to the hard stuff, like having to talk to Lacey, I’ve been able to work through my feelings and do what I need to.”

“Oh yeah, how did that go by the way?”

“It was okay. I just told her what I said to you, that I think she’s a really great person and I value her friendship, but I just don’t have romantic feelings for her. And I apologized for leading her on.”

“How did she take it?”

“Pretty well, I guess. I could tell she was disappointed, maybe even hurt, but she was cool about it. Work was a little awkward for a bit but I think we’ve worked past the worst of it.”

I'm glad that Lacey and I are still friends, but I do feel bad still about how everything went down with her. She's everything that I thought I wanted, but for some reason, it just wasn't clicking for me. The whole thing makes me more empathetic to what Lexie went through when she broke up with me; it really doesn't feel much better to be on the other side of things.

“Well, I’m proud of you for doing the right thing, even if it was difficult. I think it says a lot that you’re trusting your own feelings and not getting hung up on what you think you should do. I’d like to see you do that more often. How does that sound to you?”

“Good, but a little scary,” I answer. 

“A little fear is understandable as long as it’s not keeping you from growing. I think you can work through it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I wasn't sure I'd ever get to this place, but for once in my life, I actually feel like I can handle whatever's coming my way. And I can't wait to take it on.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[lauren-no-why]

Oh fun! Man this post is long haha, took some scrolling to get here. I have only just rolled out of bed, hopefully my answers are coherent.

Last song: Want to be Free, British Sea Power. Looks like I didn't quite get to the end of the album before I put a stop to it so I could focus on something. Let the Dancers Inherit the Party is a fun one. (ALSO SHIT I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A NEW NARCISSIST COOKBOOK ALBUM OUT? HELL YEAH THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING THIS)

Favorite color: Blue, generally, but especially the darker blues toward indigo.

Last book: That I finished? Always Running by Luis Rodriguez. Honestly this is one of the books that should be on those lists of things kids need to read in high school except it keeps getting banned. Extremely influential, so glad I read it. Autobiography of a teen in the Lomas gang in east LA in the late 1960s-early 1970s, who becomes deeply involved in making his community better in the midst of the new Chicano rights movement.

And now I'm back on my usual beloved bullshit with Absolution by Jeff Vandemeer (so glad my held copy finally came in haha I had it on hold since October...)

Last film: Uh... hm. I don't watch a lot of movies. Might have been Late Night with the Devil? Which I recommend but with the caveat that you should pirate it because they used genAI in the movie a couple of times and that was fucking stupid of them and everyone noticed. It's a shame too because if they hadn't I'd be in the "throw money at these people" camp, it's a great little horror film otherwise.

Last show: My beloved PBS SpaceTime. I have a few videos to catch up on. Super excited about the next one about the news that came out recently about the shape of an electron.

Sweet/spicy/savory: They all go together. Gochujang rules. Why would I pick one of my precious best and favorite children?

Relationship status: lmao (always single and loving it)

Last thing I googled: Well now it's the new Narcissist Cookbook album. Because I just woke up and am braindead and googled instead of just going straight to bandcamp.

Current obsession: The World Enders. The Phantom Riders. The Redmayne boys. Just Lord Huron things.

Currently coexisting side by side with how fast my heart was pounding during The Big Final Loop in Outer Wilds, especially That Part With The Teeth but also the whole thing really. That last loop is going to be with me for a while.

tagging: uhhh feel free to ignore but I must pass it along! @long-lost-soul @spectromagic @leucrotta @yarrowace

Ten People I’d Like to Get to Know Better

tagged by: @orphiclovers

last song: It’s all been Christmas retail crap or if you count the radio on the drive home playing Avril Lavigne

fav color: this pale seafoam green for things or white for clothes

last book: Eclipse by Wilder (poetry)

last movie: Deadpool & Wolverine

last show: N/A

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet and savory 

relationship status: 4 people proposed to me this year. 1 meant it fr 🥹 (engaged irl) otherwise I have a harem on AO3 going.

last thing i googled: how big is a wintermelon?

current obsession: cooking and Infinity Nikki

looking forward to: I’m planning a road trip with the girls later this week!!

Tagging: @auuwmk, @ssunfish, @ajhaijma, @stoneclaw, @quiteboared, @kiwiandmint, @dgeneralacc, @rex44201, @readingdreaming4951, @thottykunikida

[sorryimananti-romantic]

sorryimananti-romantic's tumblr wrapped, 2024

tagged by @makeitmingi and @sungbeam <3

2024 review

this year i explored a lot of the darker characters/dynamics which was an absolute pleasure, but i think such heavy plots also drained the energy out of me (or maybe it was the absolute monster of a wip i was writing consistently all year). while i did slip in some fluffy lighthearted fics here and there, i decided to take a break in november from writing in general. after an actual no-writing few weeks, i went back to my wip series and decided to just follow my heart (as if i hadn't already been doing that before) but more importantly, not force myself to write.

as of 2024, i have written more than a million words in a span of 3 years. i think i deserve to be slow with writing now! (plus, life, folks. real life.) thank you to all my lovely mutuals and readers for the incredible support you've shown me here!

total statistics of 2024

no. of fics: 8 total wc: 190,299 (+ a solid 113,000 if we count the leaders) no. of wips: 1 (+ a few ideas that have only been brainstormed but not written)

genres explored in 2024

fantasy, supernatural, historical, royal, thriller, action, crime, psychology-ish, futuristic, tragedy, adventure, romance, mafia (basically... everything?)

first fic of 2024: siren

- posted: jan 2nd - pairing: siren!yeosang x sirenhunter!reader - comments: this was my first time writing anything related to the sea (if memory serves me right) so while this was quite the challenge, it was fun bc i wanted to make sth unique out of the typical siren x siren hunter plot. i'm glad the response was good!

longest fic: light

- posted: sept 10th - pairing: mafia/angel!seonghwa x chemist!reader - comments: i think this is my second fav fic from this year. the idea of 'what happens when an angel becomes evil' plagued my mind so bad that i just had to get this out of my system. plus, i love writing fantasy in general so this was fun.

last fic: the leaders | chapter I

- posted: dec 31st - pairing: ot8!ateez x reader, mafia au - comments: just posted, pls check it out! it's going to be a long series since it's been in planning and a wip for over a year now. the leaders is going to be my whole personality for the foreseeable future (plus, according to my schedule, it's going to end in the 3rd quarter of 2025 so... buckle up!)

top 3 most popular fics of 2024

guerrilla

- posted: jan 31st - pairing: serialkiller/vigilante/doctor!yunho x writer!reader - comments: when i wrote this, i had no idea it would blow up. it's lighthearted but i think the response triggered me to explore more morally grey characters and darker dynamics.

ateez as villains

posted: nov 5th comments: this marked the last fic of this year, and also the villain/dark characters arc I've had going the whole year. i think it was a nice wrap because i'm taking a break from writing other stuff and just focusing on finishing my ongoing series.

new world

posted: june 5th pairing: prince!hongjoong x physician!reader comments: i think this was peak morally black characters and peak toxic manipulative dynamics between the characters, yet there was a sad beauty to it. i enjoyed writing this very much.

yumi's personal picks

star 1117

- posted: july 10th - pairing: wooyoung x alienoid!reader - comments: and this is my fav fic from 2024! it has everything i love: wooyoung, space, time travel, wholesome side characters jongho and yeosang, alienoid reader who learns to connect with the human in herself, and such delicious plot twists and foreshadowing. i'm ngl, i'm the biggest fan of this fic, and it's prob also one my fav oneshots I've written. while this didn't blow up (why do my fav fics never do), i had sooo much fun writing this.

cyberpunk

- posted: march 27th - pairing: droid!jongho x programmer!reader - comments: this was THE toughest fic to plan (not the time travel ones, not even mafia, but THIS). i haven't read many droid stories so lack of reader knowledge, and then wanting to still make a plot out of it other than 'omg my boyfriend turned into a droid' was hard. i rewrote this so many times but i'm very satisfied with how it turned out.

wave (sneaking this here bc it's the only unmentioned fic LOL)

- posted: april 25th - pairing: teacher!mingi x teacher!reader (headcanons) - comments: this one was a fun filler fic (bc i'm guilty that I've not written much mingi, and bc i literally could not write at that time). i love a fluffy mingi, i love fluffy fics in general so this was the product of my simpness, if you will.

2025 goals

finish the leaders and finish posting it, not force myself to write, write better, read more fics on here, and explore more genres (atp will have to invent some), finish the current ideas before planning and obsessing over new ones vs writing whatever i want (a constant struggle), and finally, just survive :')

np tags: @lorensonebraincell @kitten4sannie @sp4ceboo @sweetinsaniiity @bvidzsoo @pirateprincessblog + anyone who wants to (if yall write for different fandoms, you can add a 'top artists/muses' section too.)

[ravenstargames]

Hi!! I'm unsure if you guys will see this, but after reading your 2024 wrap-up I wanted to send some well-wishes for the future!! ^^

I've always been more of a lurker, but I just wanted to say you guys inspired me to pick up on my drawing and writing again. I'm especially a sucker for worldbuilding, and your whole idea with limbo has honestly gotten my creative juices going! I can definitely see you have created the world and characters with a lot of love and attention, something that I aspire to do as well.

For what it's worth, I'm so so glad you guys were able to power through your rough start and that you are here today, not only as the devs of what might become my favourite vn, but also as a fantastic team of talented and brave people to enrich the storytelling scene! I believe it takes a lot of courage to put oneself out there for the world to see(especially as first time devs!!), but I honestly think that despite some little accidents you guys have done very well, and can't wait to see more of what your galaxy brains will come up with.

I'm happy and proud to see your dream slowly but steadily become a reality, and as I did with kickstarter, I'll be thrilled to continue supporting you when the game comes out 💕

That's it for my little appreciation message, sending you guys a lot of hugs and cookies!!

Anon.........

I just wanted to say that we read ALL your asks. Every single one of you who spends time sending us encouraging words, sharing your experiences with us—we read all of you. We have 457 (and counting) asks in the ask box so we may take a while to reply, but please know that your words matter a lot to us.

This was such a beautiful read. I'm so happy to know you've found the will to draw and write again, and I hope you can enjoy it and be proud of what you do. Knowing we've inspired you to pick it up again is the best compliment we could ever receive, and as I always say, we promise to keep working hard even if we make mistakes!

Remember that creating is the greatest expression of the human soul! 💜

[hexedwinchester]

Supernatural missed the mark with Demon!Dean

Demons have been on the show from season 1 so we just know how crucial they were to the show as a whole and the varied story arcs. So when Dean's eyes flashed back at the end of season 9, I was on the edge of my seat. Season 10 just wouldn't arrive any sooner. Imagine my disappointment when they turned him into an egoistical, narcissistic frat boy who couldn't keep it in his pants.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't about Jensen, in fact he did well as Demon!Dean. Remember he had his fair share of playing a villian in My Bloody Valentine and the Red Hood (voice acting) in Batman: Under the Red Hood. So given, the right motivation and cues, i felt Jensen would have made Demon!Dean work. Unfortunately, the show runners and writers probably didn't recognise and tap into this and sadly that arc only last 3 episodes.

Now, the disappointment continued as those three episodes barely gave us anything (besides of course sweet, sweet Sam Whump). Who cares what dynamics he had with Crowley or about Cold getting a revenge? Seriously, Cole was so irrelevant. Why was he there? Cole, who?! Nobody, that's who! No, I would have traded that for more scream time (lol i meant screen time but the typo was so good, I decided to leave it) between Demon!Dean and Sam.

In a way, I'm glad that it didn't last longer because the pissy, frat boy Demon!Dean was weak and lame. Having said that, credit should be given where it's due and I loved those amazing moments of Demon!Dean manipulating Sam or threatening to bash his skull in with a hammer (hey, I'd wanna nail Sam too just in the same context that Jensen meant in the blooper lol) or how indifferent he was about Baby. That was cold and we needed more of that.

One of the reasons that I often see the show runners give as to why Demon!Dean didn't last longer was they couldn't have Sam and Dean on different pages. Ummm.. yeah you could! And that would have been delicious. I would have loved it if the show explored the cruelty of Demon!Dean, make him a complete asshole to Sam, to others. Then have him form an unruly alliance with Sam but always keep the viewers guessing whether this version of Dean could ever be trusted (not, of course!). Pretty sure Jensen would have manifested that on screen really well. And how on earth didn't he explore his powers as a demon?! Like c'mon, you are making a lethal hunter into a demon, a demon with the Mark of Cain and the First Blade and you want me to believe he took long vacations with Crowley sipping margaritas, singing off note Karaoke like bitches in a bachelorette party? GTFO!

Demon!Dean's physical appearance was nice, the hair was great, the red shirt (oooohh la la) was a nice touch but it was still very much Dean. Something different would have been nicer. Now coming to his character, I wanted Demon!Dean to be sketchy, untrustable, cheeky, menacing and someone who was scarier than Cain. I wanted him to be a complete psychopath who clawed off the antipossession tattoo from his chest with his bare hands (fanfic spoilers: yeah, it's gonna be in Brother Mine). But instead we got a yapper. Like c'mon, less talking more torturing! Speaking of, OG Dean was Alastair's protege in Hell for God's sake. How did they not lean into that??? Hmmm??

The mark should have been a character of its own, whispering, twisting Dean into something darker. Death Eater's mark anyone? Yeah! Something on those lines. The mark should have thirsted for Sam's blood. Dean should have thirsted for Sam's blood. And of course the popular headcanon: Demon!Dean should have fed Sam demon blood and then let him rot in the bunker being flung across like God intended. But none of that and that's where they missed the whole crux of Demon!Dean arc.

In a nutshell, I feel we didn't see the extent of Dean's corruption as a Demon

[wrenaspun]

Just wanted to tell you that I love your writing so much — I reread “one way or another” like once a month at least. And any fic where you write from Laurent’s perspective is automatically incredible showstopping never been done before etc. in my eyes. Nobody gets the depths of his horniness for Damen quite like you :)

Anyway for the prompt, how about Laurent and Damen trying to figure out the best way to tell Auguste (alive) about their relationship

Aw anon, thank you, that's very kind!! I'm so glad you enjoy the fic(s) enough to return to them <3 For the prompt, this ficlet ended up taking place in the same 'verse as burst the sky in my head, but it should also stand alone just fine! -

“You could hire a skywriter,” Damen suggested lazily. He had one arm behind his head and was staring drowsily up at the clear Ios sky, his sun-browned skin glistening in the sunlight, looking like some artist’s wet dream of a classical painting.

Laurent scooped up a handful of sand and threw it at him.

None of it landed above his shoulder, but Damen’s face scrunched up anyway, and he brought his free hand up to brush fussily at a few nonexistent grains on his nose. Then he reached out and took Laurent’s hand and brought it to his lips. “You could have one of those parties,” he said, while Laurent tried not to melt under the combined force of the sun and Damen’s sheer charm. “With the glitter, and the announcements — what do they call them?”

“Gender reveal parties?”

“That,” said Damen. He mimed a balloon popping. “Congratulations, it’s a boyfriend.”

“That is not what Auguste would say if I burst a blue glitter balloon in his face,” said Laurent, but he spent a few minutes thinking about doing it anyway, just for the look they would get.

The problem was, there was no good way to tell one’s older brother that one was seeing his nemesis-turned-friend. More — that one was in love with said friend, wanted everything that came with that, to get married, to spend their lives together. Laurent curled his toes into the sand.

Not for the first time, he wished Auguste was a little less straightforward. But that was unfair, because he loved his brother’s unflappable straightforwardness, his easy candidness. It wasn’t really his fault that it made things difficult for Laurent, who had come out to his mother at the age of fourteen by saying well… in a delicately sceptical tone when she talked about his bringing girlfriends home. The next week she’d said the same thing but about boyfriends and he hadn’t corrected her and they’d understood each other quite perfectly ever since.

Auguste, good-natured and oblivious, would not pick up on such a hint. He was quite useless at picking up any hints at all, as a childhood full of poorly-coordinated cover stories for Laurent’s attempts at mischief would attest.

But if Laurent couldn’t hint, the only alternative then was to say it aloud: Auguste, I’m in love with Damen. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Laurent wanted it so much that it became impossible to say. His desire was so ravenously enormous that it looped back around to being mortifying. He felt as though he had a very large, very poorly behaved dog behind him all the time, trying to get at Damen. He’d never felt like this before about anyone.

“You could hire a musician,” said Damen. And opened one deep brown eye to peek up at him, his merriment poorly disguised. “To sing it at him.”

“Will you please take this seriously,” Laurent grumbled, but even his voice was conspiring against him, refusing to sound sharp. He sounded disgustingly smitten.

Damen sat up, brushed off his torso, and then in a single graceful movement of rippling muscle he manoeuvred himself onto Laurent, pushed him down into the warm sand, pinned him bodily in place. “Believe me,” he said; Laurent’s whole body was flushed and thrilled, “I’m taking this very seriously.” He drew his nose over Laurent’s jaw, and even that minute touch sent sparks down Laurent’s spine. He turned his head and pressed a vicious kiss to Damen’s neck, applying his teeth, revelling in the laughing groan this wrung from Damen’s chest.

“Laurent,” he said breathlessly. Laurent hummed, and Damen said his name again, his smile audible. “I have another idea.”

Laurent broke reluctantly away. “Tell me.”

“Auguste texted me ten minutes ago asking where we were.”

“He what?” Alarmed.

“Well, he’s on break too,” said Damen, in an eminently reasonable tone.

“Is he coming down to join us?”

“He said something along those lines,” said Damen. “I didn’t want to interrupt your lecture on Professor Euandros’ shortcomings.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Laurent muttered. Teaching Professor Euandros’s third-year course on classical poetry had been a nightmare that he would need the whole summer break to recover from. The man hadn’t met an organisational system he didn’t hate with a violent passion. “So Auguste — but what was your idea?”

“Oh,” said Damen. He rolled off Laurent and sat up — a poor start. Laurent said so and watched as Damen’s teeth showed in a dazzling grin. “Here, sweetheart,” Damen said, tugging Laurent closer to him. “Let him find us like this, and you won’t have to say a word. I’ll do all the talking.”

“Like this?” They were both sitting up now, leaning against each other, skin to skin. Intimate, but very innocent. Damen made an affirmative noise. Laurent hummed thoughtfully, then let himself slide down until his head was in Damen’s lap.

“Or like this,” Damen agreed, stroking his warm fingers through Laurent’s hair.

Laurent hummed again. Then, teasing, he turned his face and nuzzled in a certain direction. Damen jolted. Laurent bit down on a smile.

“Not like that,” said Damen. The beach was empty aside from them — it was small and relatively unpopular, and the vast majority of people had gone back to work last week — but there was still the little thrill of exposure. “Fucking hell, Laurent.”

“You said ten minutes ago,” said Laurent. Desire was swelling in his chest, as wild and as wide as the sea.

Damen said, “Yes,” very carefully. A man who knew exactly the kind of trap that was being sprung on him.

Laurent said, “It takes thirty to get down here from the university.”

[buckets-and-trees]

I love you?

Naw.

That couldn't be it... 😏

But, oh, Siri, the way my heart felt to floaty and happy just writing that morning moment in bed for them! It's all I want - for me and for them.

Bucky was 🧐 and kept his distance at first, but once he got to know you, boom. All in on team Rogers and Rogers. He will grin and smirk AND be a little 🥹 that you’ve given him honorary hoe status!

Steve is my modern King Arthur. I'm going to give him the idealized version every policy I can. My view and understanding of politics isn't perfect, and I know so many people are far smarter than me and able to articulate their points... but it HAS meant a lot to me to be able to write this almost to heal myself after our last election, if that makes sense? Write some hope back into what I felt like I mourned losing in November. And that you think I'm utilizing Steve's character well in this AU? Just solidifies that I'm glad I followed my gut with this idea. Even as much as I love and adore Bucky, this would NOT be the same story if Bucky or any other Avenger were the candidate because they're not Steve.

I mentioned in some earlier chapters my love for The West Wing and that I just rewatched it, too, and I took a lot of cues from the style there of trying to/being able to shape and share story about politics that had heart, was compelling, could be serious or humorous as needed, etc. And then I watched The Newsroom where the same showrunner/creator Aaron Sorkin packed even more of these idealistic speeches and statements through the news coverage, so it has put me in a prime place to write this right now.

And Steve and your mom... 😏

I hope to do with that storyline what I've tried to do a bit of with this whole story - give a plot that's compelling and hasn't been done the same way a hundred times before. I know it won't be groundbreaking and NEVER been done before, but I hope the aim I'm taking will be fresh and connect with readers.

Red, White & True: Tuscon [11/?]

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x curvy Millennial Female!Reader, Bucky Barnes Word Count: 4.7k Summary: Even though you're dealing with the AI photo attack, the full day you spend in Tucson shows in many ways how the campaign is more than just this one issue giving you reminders of so many other things that matter.

Content/Warnings: political policy discussion, marriage of political convenience, slow burn

Notes: This takes place in a post-Endgame scenario where Steve stays and generally most of TFATWS happened.

Author Notes: The third offering for my Birthday Jubilee. Captain America divider by @firefly-graphics.

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[OCTOBER 12 - TUCSON, ARIZONA]

The harsh ring of the phone on the bedside table rouses you into consciousness and you rolled over to reach for the receiver - trickier than you are expecting since Steve’s arm is draped over you.

“Hello?”

“Wake up call for you and Captain Rogers, ma’am,” comes the voice from the other end of the line. “Your prep team will be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you,” you respond before hanging up.

You roll back over and shimmy close to Steve again. He hums pleasantly, squeezing his arm around you as you nuzzle into his chest. You settle for a few more moments into the warm cocoon of sheets, blankets, and Steve, savoring the peaceful moment before the day begins. His chest rises and falls steadily beneath your cheek, and you can hear the gentle thrum of his heartbeat. For a few precious seconds, you allow yourself to forget about the challenges that await outside this room.

"Good morning," Steve murmurs, his voice husky with sleep. His hand traces lazy patterns on your back.

"Morning," you reply softly, tilting your head to look up at him. His blue eyes are still heavy-lidded, but there's a tender warmth in them that makes your heart skip a beat.

For a moment, you simply gaze at each other, neither wanting to break the tranquil spell. But reality intrudes as you remember the wake-up call.

"The prep team will be here soon," you say reluctantly.

He groans softly, his arms tightening around you for a brief moment before loosening. "Right," he says, his voice gravelly. "Another day on the campaign trail."

You both reluctantly disentangle yourselves and sit up. Steve runs a hand through his tousled hair, looking adorably rumpled in his white undershirt. Despite the looming pressures of the day, you can't help but smile at the sight.

"Thank you," you say softly.

"For staying last night. For being here." You reach out and squeeze his hand. "It... it meant a lot."

He brings your joined hands to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. "Always," he says simply, his blue eyes holding yours. “You’re my wife.”

You both stay there, lost in each other's eyes. There's something unspoken hanging in the air between you, a tension, a pull that's both heady and unnerving.

But before either of you can say anything more, there's a sharp knock at the door.

"Steve?" Bucky's voice calls from the other side.

The spell breaks. Steve clears his throat, and slips out of bed.

"Coming, Buck," Steve calls out, his voice still rough with sleep. He gives you an apologetic look as he quickly gathers his discarded clothes from the night before.

You slide out of bed as well, wrapping yourself in the hotel's plush robe. "I'll get the door," you offer, padding across the room.

When you open the door, Bucky greets you with a grin.

"Morning," Bucky says. His eyes flick from you to Steve, who's just emerged from the bedroom area still pulling on his wrinkled dress shirt. There's a hint of amusement in his voice as he continues, "Didn't mean to interrupt."

Steve clears his throat. "You're not interrupting anything, Buck. What's up?"

“No?” Bucky sighs. “Shame.” But then Bucky's expression turns serious. "I've got some developments on the photo situation."

You feel your stomach drop at the reminder of yesterday’s disastrous development. "Come in," you say, stepping aside to let Bucky enter.

The lighthearted mood from moments ago has evaporated. You and Steve exchange a quick glance before focusing back on Bucky.

"What have you found?" Steve asks, his voice now all business.

Bucky steps into the room, closing the door behind him. "I've traced the origin of those doctored photos," he says, his voice low. "They were created by a small digital marketing firm called Apex Solutions. On the surface, they're just another PR company, but they've got some interesting clients."

You feel a chill run down your spine. "What kind of clients?"

Bucky's steel-blue eyes meet yours. "The kind that like to stay in the shadows. They've done a lot of smear work for people who pay a lot of money for total discretion, but the people who do this kind of work aren’t good enough to be totally infallible or else they’d be doing something else with their skills.

“And?” Steve prompts.

“And their client list includes some pretty influential political donors."

You cross your arms, fighting the ick that’s squirming in your gut. “I hate this,” you murmur.

Steve steps closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I know," he says softly. "But we need to know what we're up against."

You nod, taking a deep breath to steel yourself. "You're right. Go on, Bucky."

Bucky continues, his expression grim. "We’re running all the names, but the one that’s most interesting to me is none other than Thaddeus Ross."

You feel Steve tense beside you at the mention of the former Secretary of State and advocate and defender of the original Sokovia Accords, which had finally been repealed. “That is a big name to be involved in something like this,” Steve says.

"Ross?" you ask, your brow furrowing. "I thought he was out of politics after the whole Sokovia Accords debacle."

Bucky nods grimly. "Officially, yes. But it seems he's still pulling strings behind the scenes. From what I've gathered, he's been quietly funding several political action committees and think tanks that align with his particular worldview."

Steve's jaw clenches, his hand tightening slightly on your shoulder. "And now he's resorting to smear tactics. I can't say I'm surprised, but I am disappointed."

You look between Steve and Bucky, sensing there's more to this than you know. "What am I missing here? I know Ross was behind the Sokovia Accords, but why would he be targeting us - or Steve - now?"

Steve plants his hands on his hips, letting out a heavy sigh. "Ross has never forgiven me for opposing the Accords. He saw it as betrayal, and he's been gunning for me ever since."

Bucky nods grimly. "Ross has always been more concerned with control than justice. He knows Rogers presidency would be his worst nightmare - someone with the power and influence he’s had on both sides of the aisle means he’s been able to pull many strings for a long time. He knows he not only won’t have a seat at the table with Steve at the helm, he won’t be in the room or even in the building.”

"So what do we do with this information?" you ask, looking between Steve and Bucky.

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, his expression thoughtful. "That's the tricky part. Jake and i have been taking apart different scenarios. Each of them has their own web of possibilities to navigate.”

Steve nods, his expression serious. "We have to be careful how we use this information. We can't just accuse a former Secretary of State of orchestrating a smear campaign without solid proof."

"Exactly," Bucky agrees. "And even if we had ironclad evidence, going public with it could backfire. It might look like we're trying to deflect from the original accusations."

You sink down onto the edge of the bed, feeling the weight of the situation. "So we're going to sit on this information and do nothing?"

Steve sits beside you, taking your hand in his. "Not nothing. We use it to stay one step ahead. Knowing Ross is involved gives us insight into what kind of tactics he might use next."

Bucky nods. "We can also use our contacts to quietly apply pressure. Let Ross know we're onto him without making it public. But one of the narratives that has really strengthened Steve’s campaign is his refusal to go low or sling any mud while the two other parties are continually hurling hate as they always have."

You saw the wisdom, you really did, and you knew it was harder for you to be objective since you were the target the arrow had been shot at, and so you took a deep, steadying breath and chewed on your lip.

You nod slowly, processing the information. "I understand. It's just... frustrating to know who's behind this and not be able to do anything about it directly."

Steve squeezes your hand reassuringly. "I know. But we'll find a way to handle this. We always do."

Just as you're about to respond, there's another knock at the door. Bucky, being closest, moves to answer it.

When he opens the door, Sophia stands there, tablet in one arm and a caffeinated drink for you in her other hand. Her eyes widen in surprise at the sight of Bucky.

"Oh! Good morning, Bucky," she says, recovering quickly. Her gaze flicks past him to where you and Steve are sitting on the bed, still in your nightclothes. "I... didn't realize we were having a strategy meeting this early."

Bucky steps aside to let in your assistant.

“Me either,” you respond, standing up to meet her and accept the drink. “Good morning, Soph,” you add warmly, genuinely happy to see her. She’s been a rock since her first day with you.

Steve nods, standing up. "I should head to my room to get ready." He kisses you on the cheek, and it warms away some of the unsettled feeling in your gut.

Bucky walks out ahead of him, but as he reaches the door, Steve pauses, turning back to you. "Hey," he says softly, "We've got this, okay? Together."

You nod, feeling a surge of warmth at his words. "Together. See you on the bus.”

Later that afternoon as you step off the campaign bus into the sweltering Tucson heat for your third event of the day, you're immediately struck by the vibrant energy pulsing through the crowd gathered at Reid Park. The expansive green space is a stark contrast to the arid landscape surrounding the city, and today it's transformed into a sea of red, white, and blue. Campaign signs bob up and down like waves, and chants of "Rogers for America" rise and fall in rhythmic cycles.

The Arizona sun beats down mercilessly, but the enthusiasm of the supporters seems to create its own cooling breeze. You can see Steve up ahead, his broad shoulders and golden hair catching the sunlight as he makes his way through the throng, shaking hands and exchanging words with voters. Even from a distance, you can see the way people's faces light up when they meet him, the hope and admiration shining in their eyes.

Following in his wake, you make your way through the crowd, flanked by Sophia and a couple of Secret Service agents. The energy is electric, a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere of the past twenty-four hours. Despite the challenges, it’s undeniably invigorating being here, seeing the passion and hope in people's eyes.

As you move through the crowd, you're struck by the diversity of faces. Young college students stand shoulder to shoulder with retired couples. A group of nurses in scrubs chat animatedly with a cluster of construction workers still in their hard hats. This, you realize, is the coalition Steve has been building - a true cross-section of America.

After yesterday's media storm, you're not sure what kind of reception to expect at any appearance anymore. But as you make your way through the crowd, you're met overwhelmingly with warm smiles and encouraging words.

"We're with you!" a middle-aged woman calls out, reaching for your hand. You grasp it, feeling a surge of gratitude.

"Thank you for standing up for women," a young college student says earnestly as you pass.

The positivity is heartening, but you can't help but notice the handful of protesters at the edges of the crowd. Their signs bear harsh slogans, some referencing yesterday's false accusations. You steel yourself, remembering Steve's words from this morning. Together, you can handle this.

As you approach the stage, you catch sight of Jake off to the side, deep in conversation with a local campaign volunteer. He gives you a nod and a smile as you pass, and you can see the relief in his eyes. After yesterday's chaos, this event seems to be going smoothly so far.

You climb the steps to the stage, joining Steve on the side. The roar of the crowd swells as you take your place beside him since you’re not technically backstage, and he reaches for your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The simple gesture, performed countless times over the course of the campaign, feels different today. More meaningful. More real.

Steve leans in close, his lips nearly brushing your ear as he speaks over the noise of the crowd. "Ready?"

You nod, smiling up at him. "Let’s do this."

He gives your hand another squeeze as the city’s mayor introduces the two of you to come forward and join him.

The applause is thunderous. Steve waves to the crowd, his smile genuine and warm. You stand beside him, your hand still clasped in his, feeling a mix of pride and nervous energy.

"Thank you all for coming out today, Tucson," Steve begins, his voice strong and clear. "We're here to listen to you, to hear your concerns and your hopes for our great nation. You've got questions, and I'm here to answer them. Let's get started!"

As Steve begins taking questions from the crowd, you marvel again at his ability to connect with people. He listens intently to each person, responding with thoughtful, nuanced answers that go beyond simple soundbites. It’s plain to see why he's been gaining ground in the polls - he has a way of making everyone feel heard and valued. Whether it's about healthcare reform, climate change, or foreign policy, his responses are clear and concise, peppered with personal anecdotes that make complex issues relatable.

"Captain Rogers," a middle-aged man in a plaid shirt calls out, "what's your stance on immigration reform?"

Steve nods, his expression serious. "That's an important question, sir. Our immigration system is broken, and it's hurting families, businesses, and our economy. We need comprehensive reform that secures our borders while providing a fair, humane path to citizenship for those who are already here contributing to our society. You know I’m a New York boy. The Statue of Liberty stands in New York Harbor as a beacon of freedom and a figure welcoming - even inviting - the people of the world to come to America. ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’ We turn our backs on that, and we turn our backs on what saved so many of our ancestors and made us who we are. We need to streamline our legal immigration processes, invest in smart border security technology, and create a system that's fair, efficient, and upholds our values as a nation of immigrants."

The crowd erupts in applause, and you feel a swell of pride. As he elaborates on his plan, you notice a commotion near the back of the crowd. A small group of protesters has pushed their way closer to the stage, waving their signs more aggressively. You tense slightly, but Steve remains calm, his voice steady as he continues to address the crowd.

"Now, I know not everyone agrees with my stance," Steve says, his gaze moving to the protesters. "And that's okay. That's what democracy is all about - the free exchange of ideas. But I believe that we're stronger when we work together, when we treat each other with respect and dignity, regardless of where we come from."

His words seem to diffuse some of the tension, and you watch as a few people in the crowd turn to engage the protesters in conversation rather than confrontation. It's a small moment, but it encapsulates everything Steve's campaign has been about - bringing people together, fostering dialogue, and finding common ground. They continue to hold their signs, but their chanting dies down as Steve goes on.

"Ma'am," Steve says, pointing to a woman near the front. "You had a question?"

The woman, her gray hair pulled back in a neat bun, steps forward. "Captain Rogers, I'm a retired teacher. I'm worried about the state of our education system. What are your plans to improve it?"

Steve nods thoughtfully, his expression earnest. "That's a critical issue, ma'am. Thank you for your service as an educator. Our teachers shape our future generations."

He pauses, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "Education is the cornerstone of our democracy and our economy. We need to invest in our schools, our teachers, and our students. That means increasing federal funding for education, raising teacher salaries, and modernizing our school infrastructure."

Steve begins to pace the stage, his passion for the topic evident. "But it's not just about money. We need to rethink how we approach education in the 21st century. That means emphasizing critical thinking skills, creativity, and adaptability alongside traditional subjects. We need to prepare our kids for the jobs of tomorrow, many of which don't even exist yet."

As Steve continues to outline his vision for education reform, you notice the sun beginning to dip lower in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over the park. The crowd remains rapt, hanging on Steve's every word as he seamlessly transitions from education to discussing renewable energy initiatives and job creation.

Steve's energy never wavers as he addresses each new topic with the same thoughtful consideration, whether it's about renewable energy initiatives or plans to support small businesses. The questions keep coming, and Steve keeps answering, his passion and sincerity evident in every word.

As the town hall draws to a close, Steve delivers a final message that leaves the crowd buzzing with renewed hope and determination.

"Thank you all for being here today," he says, his voice carrying across the park. "Your questions, your concerns, your hopes - they're what drive me every day. We're facing big challenges as a nation, but I believe in the strength and resilience of the American people. And I believe the American people are more important than any political party and the partisan politics we’ve been beholden to for far too long. Together, we can build a future that's brighter, fairer, and more prosperous for all."

The crowd erupts into cheers and applause as Steve concludes his speech. You step forward to join him at the center of the stage, your hand finding his as you wave to the enthusiastic supporters. The energy is electric, a palpable sense of hope and possibility hanging in the air.

You make your way off the stage, and you're immediately surrounded by your team, with Jake at the front, a satisfied grin on his face. "That went well," he says, clapping Steve on the shoulder. "The crowd loved you both."

It’s the first time Steve’s spoken outright for an end to party politics, and it ignited a completely new kind of energy.

Sophia hurries up, tablet in hand. "Great job out there," she says breathlessly. "Social media is blowing up with positive reactions. #RogersForAmerica is the top trending hashtag across three platforms!”

The event had been livestreamed over multiple platforms. The plans had been in the works for weeks, hoping to capitalize on a potential surge in interest after the interview with Oprah aired, but the scandal breaking the day before brought even more eyes wanting to look and see what Steve was doing more seriously now.

As you bask in the afterglow of the successful event, you begin to make your way through the dispersing crowd towards the campaign bus. The setting sun paints the sky in vibrant hues of orange and pink, casting long shadows across the park. The air is thick with the scent of food trucks that have set up shop on the outskirts of the event - the aroma of sizzling tacos and sweet kettle corn mingling with the earthy smell of the desert after a warm day.

You and Steve make slow progress, stopping frequently to shake hands, pose for selfies, and exchange a few words with supporters who linger. The energy is still palpable, with people buzzing about Steve's speech and his vision for the future, and there weren’t any more campaign obligations scheduled for the night killing two birds with one stone so you could mingle with people and let the internet go to work processing what they’d just seen. You overhear snippets of excited conversations, words like "hope" and "change" floating on the evening breeze.

A young girl with braids tied with red, white, and blue ribbons shyly approaches you, clutching a well-worn copy of a children's book about the Avengers.

"Mrs. Rogers," she says softly, "would you sign my book?"

You kneel down to her level, touched by her request. "Of course, sweetheart," you say with a warm smile. "You know I’m not in the book though, right?”

“But you should be!”

Your heart wants to burst into a hundred happy pieces. “Well, maybe one day you could be, too! Do you want Steve to sign your book?”

“No, just you,” she says shyly.

You look up at her parents behind her, the mom filming on her phone. You give a small wave and then reach for the book. “What's your name?"

"Sophia," she replies, her eyes wide with excitement.

You can't help but chuckle at the coincidence. "That's a beautiful name. I have a friend named Sophia too."

The little girl's eyes light up. "Really?"

You nod, opening the book to the title page. "Really. And she's one of the smartest, kindest people I know. Just like you seem to be."

As you sign the book, you ask, "So, Sophia, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

The girl puffs up her chest proudly. "I want to be President, just like Captain America!"

Now your heart wants to burst into a thousand pieces.

You feel a lump form in your throat, touched by the girl's innocent ambition. "That's wonderful, Sophia," you say, handing the book back to her. "And you know what? I believe you can do it. Never let anyone tell you that you can't achieve your dreams."

The girl's mother steps forward, her eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you so much," she says softly. "You have no idea how much this means to her... to us."

You stand up, smiling at the family. "It's my pleasure. This is my favorite thing that has happened today, I mean that."

Steve, who had been chatting with a group of veterans nearby, makes his way over to you.

"Everything okay?" he asks softly, noticing the look on your face.

“More than okay. That interaction wiped away so much of the tough stuff I’ve been sitting with for sure.”

The day starts to catch up with you, but it was in no way as bad as the day before. Although the discourse online and in the media was still heated over all the fallout associated with the Oprah interview and the AI photos, that had bled only slightly into the interactions in person today - a true saving grace.

As you approach the bus, you notice someone familiar standing near the entrance talking to Bucky. It takes a moment for your brain to make out who it is, but when you register her signature hair style, stance, and mannerisms your heart skips a beat.

"Mom?" You say in disbelief as you rush forward.

"Hello," she says with a smile, opening her arms for a hug, and that single word wraps your heart in a warmth you didn’t know you desperately needed.

You embrace her tightly, feeling tears prick at the corner of your eyes. It's been so long since you've seen her, not since your wedding day, which feels like a lifetime ago in campaign time.

"What are you doing here?" You ask as you pull away from the hug, wiping away stray tears.

"Steve called," she says simply. "He thought you could use some moral support."

You shake your head in awe. From all you knew, Steve hadn’t had any real contact with your parents. This had you at a loss for words, grateful for his thoughtfulness and making the effort to start building a bridge with your mom.

"Well, I'm glad you're here," you finally manage to say. "Let's go inside."

She mounts the steps to the bus ahead of you, and you turn to look at Steve, tapping your hand to your heart and mouthing thank you to him. He bows his head, a soft smile on his face.

As you follow your mother onto the bus, she looks around in amazement at all the decorations and posters featuring both yours and Steve's faces.

"This is quite the setup," she comments with a chuckle.

You nod in agreement. "It's a different speed, for sure."

Your mother turns back to face you and can’t seem to stop smiling. "I'm so proud of all that you've accomplished, even if politics isn't exactly my area of expertise."

"Thanks, Mom." You knew that admission was a white flag of its own. You hadn’t had a lot of time to check in with your parents throughout the campaign, but your marrying Steve and joining the campaign had been a point of friction between you and your mother.

Still, you were so glad to have her here now, and she seemed to want to start on a new page, without the tension.

“How long will you be with us?” you ask.

“Until Friday,” you calculated that would give her two full days on the trail with you, “unless you want me to stay longer than that. But I know you’ll be busy, I don’t want you to fuss over me.”

"Friday sounds perfect," you say, feeling a mix of relief and excitement. "I'm so glad you're here. We'll make the most of the time."

Your mother nods, her eyes crinkling with warmth. "I'm looking forward to seeing this big adventure. Now, tell me everything."

As you settle into one of the plush seats on the bus, you begin simply by recounting the events of the day. Your mother listens intently, asking questions and offering words of encouragement. It feels surreal to have her here, in the midst of this whirlwind campaign, but her presence is grounding.

Sophia briefly interrupts to bring you both some dinner from one of the food trucks, and as you eat, you finally get into the events of the past few days - the Oprah interview, the doctored photos, the media frenzy. Your mother listens attentively, her brow furrowing over the difficulties you’ve had to face. Talking to her about it feels different than talking to anyone on the campaign - even Steve - because she knew you before all this - since birth, obviously - and it helps to give you more perspective, stripping yourself back from the enormity of what it has become while living it every waking moment of the day.

The staff begin to trickle back onto the bus, and you put your mother-daughter discussion on hold as you introduce her to different members of the team. Your mother is one of the most friendly women you know, you’ve grown up watching her seem so at ease generating small talk and interacting with strangers, making them feel welcome and like they aren’t strangers, and you’re glad to see her make quick connections with this group of humans who are in your orbit every day.

So it’s all the more jarring when that is not the case with Steve when he boards the bus and comes to sit by you.

For his part, he tries to greet your mother warmly. "I'm glad you could make it," he says, his voice sincere, and yet there’s something timid about it. "Thank you for coming."

Your mother smiles at him. "Of course I came, Steven,” she says. So formal. And there is just a hint of something being held back in her eyes.

Your eyes dart between them as you feel the palpable awkwardness in the air.

The next few days are perhaps not going to go the way you thought…

next part: coming 1/10

Hi, Mom! 🤭

But don't go hating on your mom yet! Remember how things went when we found out about your former husband Jeff, and trust me until next week! 🙏🏻

Also, I had said there were only going to be 12 chapters, and then last week adjusted that to 13, but... now I'm taking off the estimate. I thought this was going to be kind of a drive by highlights chapter to cover a lot of ground between October 12 and the first Tuesday of November, but that was silly. We all know me and how I've authored this fic. Any hopes of that were just SILLY SILLY SILLY. This chapter was inching up toward 8k, and that was just feeling like a lot to me. So you have a minimum of three chapters coming after this, but there's a slight chance it could even be four.

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I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[loving-family-poll]

2nd Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2

Propaganda under the cut

Violet/Jinx:

These sisters are fucking crazy. Little one has literal heart eyes over her cool butch big sister at one point. Butch big sister toxic dates a doppleganger of crazy little sister. Crazy little sister makes it her life's mission to kill said doppleganger. They have a fight there theyre sitting one one another grinding. crazy!!!

If you take one look on the season 2 poster you will get it (though I have not seen it yet so going mostly by season 1). Little sister psychosexually obsessed with older sister. Big sister chronically incapable of not protecting younger sister. Both dependend on the other for their own sense of identity. Jinx takes one look at the sister's love interest and not only goes crazy with jealousy but also tries to make Vi choose between them. They both say the other are the reason they haven't killed themselves in the time things were really bad and they were apart.

Sisters to enemies to lovers, babey

Jinx’s eyes are canonically the shade violet red

Vi’s eyes are canonically the shade powder blue

Vi’s girlfriend has blue eyes (like powder/jinx AND her mother) and blue hair (like powder/jinx AND her mother)

powder/jinx WANTED vi to be the one to kill her. That whole scene where Vi has Jinx pinned and she’s CHOKING HER (gay) and she’s giving these sad wet puppy eyes and tells her that “I’m glad it’s you, it has to be you.”

I don’t know how to send links but that scene from cait’s pov where jinx is blowing in Vi’s ear. LIKE COME ON

Jinx died (fake or not, Vi thinks she’s dead) and a big factor for her dying was that she wanted Vi to be happy and stripped Vi of having to make the choice between her (Jinx) and her gf who looks like her. Like ok queen

"It had to be you."

Klaus/Elijah:

Immortal vampire brothers who have spent a thousand years hurting and loving one another. An elder brother who carries the guilt of not protecting his little brother from the horrors of their childhood and a bastard-child younger brother who considers himself both outcast and judge, jury, and executioner to his siblings’ wrongdoings. Their immortal vow to stand as one, always and forever, has led to a millennium of talking past one another, taking away each other’s loved ones, and, of course plotting the downfall of their enemies together. When faced with death, neither can bear to go alone, and vow instead to die in each other’s arms. Which they do.

They have lived every life possible and yet they can’t escape each other. They have canonically been in love with the same woman at least twice. Elijah falls in love with the woman who Klaus HAD A BABY WITH. Normal brother behavior!!! Klaus begged Elijah to run away with him when they were kids and Elijah is still haunted 1000 years later by the fact that he refused. Elijah once came up with a whole-ass plot to murder Klaus but at the last second couldn’t bring himself to do it and betrayed everybody he allied with to save Klaus instead. They just can’t quit each other!!! And when Klaus is suffering some magical bullshit and has to die, Elijah’s like “yeah I’ll die with you, my life is meaningless without you.” Brothers of all time!

Part of Klaus hates Elijah because he will never be him and his siblings will never love him and respect him the same way (I'm saying siblings, but I really mean Rebekah) but he would also die for him in a heartbeat. He would never admit it but he's living for the attention that Elijah gives him, no matter what kind. He would probably be happy in a polycule with him and his sister if he wasn't chronically paranoid that they actually hate him and want to get rid of him. By which point he punishes them by putting them in a magic coma for a few centuries and bringing their bodies with him everywhere he goes.

https://www.tumblr.com/icebluecyanide/170419680277/dont-speak-to-me-of-elijah-he-loves-you-yes-he

“I need you, brother. The monster in me can only be checked by the monster in you.”

[haileycantcometothephonern]

Scars

Spencer x fem!reader

Prequel fic to this part (but can be read alone)

CW: pregnancy, kidnapping, torture, angst, also a little bit fluff. (not proofread)

___________________________________

18 months ago

You felt the kicks before you felt the warm sun rays waking you up from your deep sleep. Your baby has been quite excited, you can tell. She is keen to meet her mom and dad, it seems. You open your eyes slowly and crack a smile at your very pregnant belly.

Sydney. That's what you both decided her name would be. Such a pretty name really. You immediately got up to make yourself some breakfast as your daughter isn't so calm when she starts to get hungry.

You then remember the absence of your husband. You really hoped he would be here before next week, as that's when your due date was and your daughter might come out any moment now. You didn't want Spencer to miss such a pivotal moment of your child's birth. You knew how much he looked forward to it.

As you make yourself some breakfast filled with all kinds of nutrients, your mind goes through all of your pregnancy journey. Spencer and you have always wanted to start a family and you were blessed with your angel a few months ago. You were both equally excited about the new edition to your family and made sure to do thorough research about how to ensure that she's safe and healthy.

Spencer was also very present these past few months, putting his foot down when he is needed here by you or your daughter. You really appreciated his support throughout your pregnancy but since a few weeks he has been quite busy. You understood that he can't keep putting off work to stay with you, but you also wanted him to do that for you. Maybe it was selfish, but you were also on the verge of giving birth to an entire human and you wanted your husband there to support you.

You thought back to the call with Spencer last night as you had your breakfast and wondered when you'll get another update from him. You eventually realized that you're focusing on him too much and he must just be really busy saving lives, so you ended up watching some movie on the TV.

Ring. Ring.

You were jolted awake from your morning nap by your phone's ringtone. You immediately hoped that it was Spencer calling to tell you that he's home bound.

"Hello"

"Hey, baby! How are both of my girls doing?" Spencer sounded tired.

"We're doing good, would do better if you're here with us though." You pouted.

"I know, love. I'm already on the jet, and wanted to check on both of you before we started. Will be there by evening." He sighed into the phone and you can feel him physically relax his shoulders. The case must have been a tough one, well tougher than usual anyway.

"Oh that's great news. I'll start on dinner soon. Love you baby, say love you to papa syd." You tried to make Spencer feel a bit less stressed and you honestly felt really glad that he'll be home soon.

"I love you both, stay safe until i get home." Spencer parroted back, and you can hear the caution in his voice.

You suddenly remembered that you forgot to inform about your doctor's call last night.

"Uh Spence, Dr. Min just called me yesterday. She wanted to see us tomorrow, I told her that I'll let her know if we can after I spoke to you today."

"What did she want to talk about? Is everything alright? Are you okay? Is Sydney okay?" He immediately questioned with worry.

"Yes, yes, we are completely alright. And Dr.Min did not tell me what it was about as she had some emergency and ended the call urgently. But I'm sure it's nothing serious." You said with a doubtful tone, you didn't want him to overthink it during the whole ride.

"It's okay, baby. I'll call Dr.Min, and ask her what it's about. Just take care." Spencer tried to reassure you and ended the call as the pilot was ready for take off.

You ended up taking another nap while snacking on some fruit platter as you were still full from your breakfast when you were once again woken up by a knock this time.

You checked who it was through the peephole first, Spencer instilled this cautiousness in you. It was just some delivery guy, maybe it was the new blanket you ordered three days ago for Sydney.

You excitedly open the door and were about to take your order when the delivery guy is pushed aside and you are being dragged out of your house by two really burly men. You wanted to scream, but they had their guns pointed straight at your belly. You gulped and cooperated with them.

"What do you guys want?" You tried not to sound so scared.

"Your husband knows what we want. Don't worry you'll get out of this unscathed if he listens to our demands." One of them replied and pushed you into a black jeep.

After that your memory goes pretty hazy, as you assume that they drugged you. You regain consciousness after a while, you don't know how long it's been but it was darker outside. You can see that through the only basement window in the room that you were held in. Yep, that's definitely a basement that you were in. You weren't scared as you had complete trust in your husband and his colleagues. You trusted them to save you and your baby.

You then heard some voices from outside the door. You remembered one of the voices was the man who brought you here. Just as you were about to concentrate on what they were talking about, the door to the room opened. In walked the two men who kidnapped you.

"Dr. Reid, as promised. Your wife is here, unscathed. Just get us that plane, our money, and Jason. We'll be out of your hair." He screamed into the phone, you assume Spencer is on the other side of.

"No I'm not going to do anything until you let me talk to her." Spencer tried to sound as neutral as he can, but even you can sense the fear in his voice.

"Alright, suit yourself." The kidnapper placed the phone near your ear. "Speak."

"Hello, Spence?"

You could hear the relief in his voice when he asks you to stay strong like you always do and that he'll be there to get you soon.

"Everything will be alright, baby. I'll be there."

And you believed him. Because why wouldn't you. You believed him with your whole being. You believed him. You made that choice. You let him deceive you. You let him deceive not just you, but also your daughter.

Spencer wasn't there. He wasn't there to save you. He wasn't there to save Sydney. He wasn't there when they cut you. When they left bleeding to your death. When they left Sydney to die with her mom. You still don't have complete memory of what happened after the call.

BAU unlike every other time, failed to deliver on their promise and failed to save you or Sydney. The kidnappers tried to get what they wanted by harming you, thinking that'll motivate the BAU to submit to their demands. But this time, the kidnappers were wrong.

Spencer found you that night, almost at the verge of dying. His heart stopped at the sight of you. Multiple cuts on your arms and your collarbone. One large gash on both of your wrists, blood flowing out uncontrollably. If only they were a bit faster, if only Hotch would have agreed to their demands. He knew that he couldn't blame anyone else but himself for what happened that night. He stayed by your side at the hospital until you regained your consciousness.

"Spence, What happened? Where am I? Where's Sydney?" Your frantic voice woke him up from his seat beside your bed. He looked like he'd been through some kind of apocalypse, maybe he was. His hair unwashed and disheveled. His beard, unshaven. His eyes, sunken, surrounded by pigmentation. He looked like he was crying non-stop.

Your thoughts immediately went back to that night.

"Sydney. Where's Sydney, Spencer?" You asked cautiously.

He looked like he was on the verge of tears and held your hands. His lips opened and closed, and tears started streaming down his cheeks.

"No, no, no. It can't be. No, not her. Spence." You were beyond frantic now. The tears came first.

You didn't want to believe that she was no more. Your love, your angel, your baby. Your Sydney.

You sobbed and sobbed and hiccups echoing off the hospital walls. Throughout it all Spencer held you, letting you express your grief. He had his time, although he thought no time could heal this wound. He wanted so badly to redo everything.

The BAU had all visited you and him, offering their condolences. Hotch showed up too, expressing his regret and guilt. Spencer assured him that he doesn't hold anything against him. You didn't reply to anyone. Not him, not his mom, not your parents, nor your friends. You didn't have anything else to say. You didn't know what one says when they feel like their soul has been snatched away. Their voice had been hijacked. Only thing you can know and feel for sure was the ache in your heart and the emptiness in your womb.

Days passed away before you knew it and it was finally time to go home. Spencer packed everything up from your hospital room and called out to you.

"(Y/N), It's time to go home baby." He whispered slowly placing his hand on your shoulder.

You looked away from the windows and towards him. Yes, nobody is at fault except Spencer. It was him who promised to keep you and your baby safe. But he was nowhere to be found on the day you actually needed him. He was the one who caused all of this. Your brain, filled with grief couldn't decipher what it was thinking or where your thoughts are taking you. You knew only one thing for sure, you wanted to hurt someone. You wanted him to hurt.

"Spencer you killed her. You killed my baby." Your voice was barely a whisper, you almost thought he didn't hear you. But the way his eyes dulled and filled with guilt showed you that he did hear it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby." He said, he sounded wracked with guilt. He started sobbing.

That was the first time in a few days you felt some kind of sick relief. A part of you ached at seeing him like that. But the sick satisfaction over took every other feeling.

"Spencer, I'm going to hurt you until I can find peace. I promise, and I don't break them like you do." Your voice was filled with vitriol. Spencer never even imagined that you could look at him with such hatred in your eyes, but he was proved wrong today.

He knew he was going to be blamed for everything. And he blamed himself too. He was okay with taking everything from you, because he knew behind all that hatred and vitriol, there was love. So he was willing to be your punching bag for however long you want him to be.

You realized that Spencer was going to accept it. And you knew you were just getting started. Maybe this will end up hurting you both, but you felt like that's what the two of you deserved in the end. For failing to save her. Your Sydney.

_______________________________________

a/n: Not that satisfied with how this turned out, wanted to write fluff but it turned out into angst 😭😭. anyways i'm thinking of writing a fluff series next and maybe an angst one too. deleted one on my old blog, want to restart it.

[destinyc1020]

Cue Tyrese's "Congratulations 😭😭" meme lmao no bt fr, never been this happy for a couple of strangers. Their so sweet together and Tom did excellent with the ring, its big af bt nt obnoxiously huge, he knows his girl 😌 my bad, his fiancee 🥰

3 times a charm for the Spiderman couple n shout out to the Tomdayas who have been around since 2016 lol a lot of yall need to b detectives lmao

Whew girl yassss!! 🥳 🎉

Yaaayyyy!! 🙌🏾

And I'm dying that Tom got Zendaya a whole HOUSE on her ring finger lol 😆 I'm not one who cares too much about how much a guy spends on a ring (not all men have the same financial situation, and it's the thought that counts imo), but the fact that her ring is the price of a small HOUSE is just unbelievable to me!!! Rofl 🤣

You did well Tom 😊👏🏾

Girl, I've been here since 2017.... and I'm finally able to see this happen. It's like I've been watching a movie about their love story since the beginning... only it's real life! Lol

So glad to see this Tomdaya era have a happy ending. 😊

[redbreastedbird]

I got the Puzzle Book for Christmas... and I'm in love with how much effort was put into the part where Nuala explains Irish! I'm so grateful that time was taken to make sure all the words were correctly pronounced and even more thankful that each pronunciation was taken from the Connacht Dialect, which makes sense because that's the dialect Nuala would have been taught.

As an Irish reader I applaud you for the work you have put into that part of the Puzzle Book and the series as a whole, thank you so, so much!

*screeches in happiness*

This is such a nice ask to get! I was so happy to be able to put the Irish section in the book - my partner is Irish, and I can speak a tiny bit of Irish, so we put it together between us. Also, of course, in the 1940s Ireland was still a very young country, and Irish had only stopped being suppressed by the British a few decades before, so it really mattered to Nuala’s da that his daughter had an Irish name and could speak and understand some Irish.

Thank you for reading the puzzle book, and I’m so glad you liked it! Go raibh míle maith agat ❤️

[oleandequill]

Because of those damn storyboards, I am completely destroyed and I need to rant.

I thank God that this was not the final scene they went with because if I had to see that animated I genuinely might have just passed away because I swear this version is so much more painful than the one we got in the movie.

I mean, first of all, I love that the High Guard actually had a bigger role here in which they actually fought Sentinel with D-16. Also the fact that they had a bigger impact on like influencing D-16? With Starscream literally telling him to go ahead and kill Sentinel? Also D-16 (during his talk with Pax) looking between the High Guard and Elita and Bee as though he was deciding which side to pick? Just ughhh

Also makes me happy because TFOne Starscream as a mentor figure (I mean, not exactly the good kind lmao) for D-16/Megatron is just an idea I really love

Second, the fact that D-16 had a dream? That they actually gave him like a dream/want outside Pax? Cause like the whole movie he was kinda like Pax's ride or die friend and I always found it weird that he was just so willing to go along with whatever Pax wanted. The fact that the storyboard addresses he had his own aspirations and that Pax realizes this (which def fuels the pain of him thinking he was partially to blame for D-16's crash out).

Also the fact that D-16 realizes he doesn't even know what he wants now?

Lastly, the change of him deliberately shooting Pax? Like oh my god. Cause in the movie it was an accident, but here he made the deliberate choice to do so. And the best part about it, in my opinion, is that he doesn't appear to be full of rage about it? Cause when he dropped Pax in the movie, he was really pissed. Here it looks like he was just resigned/tired about it. He just wanted Sentinel dead, and at this point didn't care anymore.

But yeah, like two things I got out of this (and I'm sorry it's all about D-16/Megatron, can you tell who's my favorite at this point lmao?) is the fact that:

(1) Megatron just acknowledging that he was so much happier when he was living in ignorance? I talked about it before with a friend how it's so painful seeing D-16's descent especially when he was blissfully happy as a miner beforehand. The idea of just living a happy life in ignorance and the fact that you can't ever return to that once your eyes have been opened to the truth. So like, do you purposely choose a life of ignorance just to be happy or do you willingly let yourself see how bad the world is because you know you can't remain blind forever?

(2) Honestly, I'm also glad they didn't go with this scene as somebody who was formally introduced to transformers through TFOne. Cause while I didn't know much about Transformers before this movie, I already knew Megatron and Optimus Prime. Like Megatron is the bad guy, OP is the good guy and all that.

The Megatron we got in the movie, I have no doubt in my mind that he would become the infamous bad guy that I know from Transformers. Cause that one had so much rage.

The Megatron from the storyboards, on the other hand, is giving exhaustion. This man is done. Like he even says he doesn't exactly want to lead, he doesn't even know what he wants. Obviously, this would probably change once Pax came back as OP, but like from this scene I honestly have a hard time thinking this Megatron would become the bad guy. This Megatron is giving "I'm going to go on a self-discovery journey after this" or "I'm going to just die after this" energy.

But yeah all this to say, now that I know that canonically D-16 had a dream about going off-world, all my fanfics will now include that.

AKA, I'm going to punt him into space.

[illumiera]

happy third anniversary, i fear no fate!

as silly as it sounds, i just wanted to take a moment to celebrate that it's been three whole years since i started posting the story of my two silly dragons on AO3!

can you believe that i originally intended this to be a maximum of ten chapters, something to write just to get myself into writing again? i didn't think more than a handful of people would ever read it, much less like it or my elentari herself, but that didn't matter. the spark of inspiration i had for this fic (it was a case of "okay, i like the idea of this ship a lot, but i'm not writing a fic for them. ever. oh, somehow i've written part of an outline? and now i'm really invested? damn it") got me putting hands to my keyboard at a time where i thought all of my creativity had dried up for good, and for that, i'm forever grateful.

i'm also forever grateful that, while working on this story, i decided to stop being a fandom lurker for once in my life. without it, i wouldn't have met my wonderful friends and mutuals who continue to inspire me, so thank you all! thank you, too, to anyone who's ever taken the time to read, kudos, comment, or bookmark this story, and to anyone who's ever enjoyed these characters who've become so beloved to me! i'm so glad to have you along for the ride, and i'm looking forward to sharing what happens next! 💖

[dailyrothko]

This blog is great!

I didn't know much about Rothko at first, but had a great opportunity to see a piece off display during work once. Started looking into him more afterwards and was thrilled to find your curation.

Thank you so much for the nice words about the blog.

I'm glad you're getting into it. We consume a lot of peripherally, though second hand sources like ads and movies and the internet, which is a fine way to discover, but I think if you're curious person and you take time to see these artists in person, every branch of the arts becomes more enthralling. There's nothing like seeing brush strokes on a canvas right in front of you to see it for what it is, good or bad.

The constant reproduction of work arounds us can dilute it but there's a human recognition that takes place with the real thing. It's like when you listen to an artist you whole life and you finally go hear them in concert, and suddenly your brain completes a circle. The sound you have been hearing for years is right in front you and suddenly realize it's not some magic trick-it's the creation of a human. It sounds hokey to say it that way perhaps, but it can be a powerful experience. No imposed or curated messages, just you and the art.

Thank you for sharing your experience