#I'm not even sure why they had it it was not their style at all

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, first I just wanna say, big fan of your writing. Second, I just watched Kengan Ashura, and I was wondering about a batfam x male brother reader who is not a vigilante, but is terrifyingly good at fighting. Of course the batfam doesn't know that, but they find out accidentally on patrol one night. Any of the family members accidentally sees Reader going into an abandoned building and wonders why he is out this late. They follow him and find a crowd of people in suits and one of Bruce's managers standing there, and it turns out that Reader is an underground fighter for Wayne Enterprises with an undefeated record and makes billions of dollars because of fighting. They watch him fight out of curiosity and are shocked at his skill and at the fact that he is better than any of them, and that he uses a style none of them know (please make it Niko style with Kure style combined - Reader developed it for himself in secret). After the short fight, where they see Reader being bored because his opponents are weak, the batfam listens to the conversation between Reader and Bruce's manager (Reader's employer for Wayne Enterprises - and underground fighting), they find out that Reader's nickname is Baba Yaga (or The Boogeyman, or Ogre - whichever you prefer) and that he is the reason why Wayne Enterprises has been able to get so much real estate and why the profit has been so high the last 2 years. They run home and wait for the Reader to get back. They confront him together with Alfred and Reader just pretends not to know anything until they attack him to prove he is lying and he just mops the floor with them without getting a single scratch. Cue shocked faces and Damian begging Reader to teach him his style.

You can finish how you want. Sorry if it's long, and thank you for writing.

Okay, I've never heard of Kengan Ashura, since I'm not really a manga person, but since there is no plot related to the actual series I need to abide by, I'm comfortable doing it, I just need to do some research, so no worries. I'll do it.

And yes, I'm alive everyone.

Also, could not find a better GIF, my apologies.

Summary: (Y/N) fights underground. Bruce and the fam find out.

Warnings: mentions of fights, nothing explicit though. Again, no explicit fights. It's said he fights, but no explicit description.

In a house full of vigilantes who are brilliant at investigating and discovering things, hiding secrets of your own is not an easy task. They were all observant, even when not in their suits and when they were not on patrol. It is not easy to shut off the part of the brain that keeps you alive, after all.

But, if you live with those people long enough, you learn enough how to keep your secrets underneath the radar and you learn how to move past those people. (Y/N) has learnt that the hard way, but he learnt it regardless. He had to if he wanted to keep it all a secret. And now, what would that secret might be?

(Y/N) was good at fighting. But not just good.

He was terrifyingly good.

Better than his brothers and better than his father combined.

Why was that a secret? It should be a good thing to be good at fighting, since he is the son of Batman, after all. The problem lied in the fact that he had a style that was never heard of. And he fought underground for Wayne Enterprises. That made him billions and it was on a secret account, one that Bruce didn't know about, otherwise he would blow a gasket.

And besides, the money was just an added bonus. (Y/N) liked fighting, so money wasn't needed. But Jesus, was it a nice touch to keep fighting. He had a scheduled fight anyway. And it was tonight, so he had to make sure to wait that everyone else went on patrol. And that's what he has heard at the moment.

Shuffling around the rooms, chatter about the criminals and soon enough, all of those footsteps and chatter moving to Bruce's study. And then nothing. (Y/N) has waited for an hour longer before he snuck out of the manor, ready to go fight tonight. It's been a while and he needs to get this restless energy out of his system. He got to his car and started driving.

This time he was hoping that the opponents would be somewhat able to withstand him and give him a challenge. But those opponents are rare unfortunately and it made (Y/N) a bit bored. But hopefully, tonight would be fine.

It was a few hours into patrol now and oddly enough, it was all fine. Usual Gotham villains were quiet and just wanted a peaceful night in, it seems. The only crimes they stopped were some muggings, break in and maybe some crimes they had heard over the Gotham Police radio. It was easier to follow rather than to wait for something to wait.

At the moment, they were taking a small break on a random roof top, just resting their feet and talking about stupid things and the most random things they could think of. They were bored beyond belief, but they knew that they couldn't end patrol early because of two words, what if?

What if one of the Gotham villains tries something and they are already back at the Batcave? What if they can't reach the place in time?

There were far too many what ifs for their comfort.

Damian was glancing around, always on alert, when he paused and had to do a double take. He stood up, now sure that (Y/N) entered an abandoned building.

" Why did (Y/N) just enter that old building? " Damian questions and everyone looked at him confused. What is that supposed to mean?

" What do you mean? " Dick inquired, wondering what the hell he was talking about. " (Y/N) can't be here. He's at home. "

" No, he just entered the building. " Damian pointed at the said building, which made Bruce stand up to get a closer look.

" So... We are going to go inside? To check it out? " Tim wondered, clearly not sure on what to do in this situation.

" Well, that depends on how sure Damian is that he saw (Y/N) enter, " Bruce said, glancing at Damian.

" I am absolutely sure father. I would recognize my older brother. " Damian crossed his arms and scoffed. " Now I'm insulted, " He muttered, making Dick chuckle.

" Alright. I say we get in there. " Bruce jumped off the ledge and glided down, landing silently onto the ground in front of the old house. He looked around as he waited for his sons to come down. Once they did, they silently made their way inside. They could hear lot of noise and they moved onto the big beams.

It gave them a nice view of the floor and it wasn't really a shock as to what it was.

A fighting ring.

The only odd thing?

There were men in suits. And Bruce did a double take when he noticed one of his managers. What the hell passed through his mind, wondering why his manager would be here?! What the hell was he doing here?!

But once he saw (Y/N) enter the round circle made by men, shirtless, hands wrapped.

Why the hell is his son even here!? Why is he fighting?!

Bruce was perhaps speechless for the first time in his life.

" What the fuck? " He muttered to himself, wondering what the hell was going on.

He watched as an opponent stepped into the circle, ready to face (Y/N).

Bruce wondered how much would (Y/N) survive, since he wasn't the one who was trained by him. Bruce or anyone else didn't train him, they simply trained him to have at the very least some sort of self defense.

Bruce nearly fell of the beam once he saw (Y/N) fighting. It was... Bruce has never seen anything like this before. He doubted that Ra's even had knowledge of this fighting style. This was... Incredible. Bruce had to be honest, this was just... How and when did he learn this? Who the hell taught him?!

Damian had the exact same train of fought.

Bruce kept observing, making sure to remember as much as possible. But there was something that was noticeable to him. Two different style, clearly something that he tailored to himself. Bruce noticed the tense up muscles, both in defense and offense. Then the sheer agility... Quick movement...

And redirection of the opponent's moves... What the hell was this? And with minimal effort too... Bruce tilted his head as he watched. This was incredible.

And since when is he so flexible? What the fuck was going on in his manor, Bruce thought as he kept watching his boy fight.

Then there was clear clawing at the opponents eyes, going for the neck...

Bruce couldn't believe it.

He had to figure out where he learned this. He needed to know.

But he couldn't do it here. He signaled to the boys to get moving back home. Bruce would deal with it later, but paused when he heard (Y/N) speaking to one of the managers, well, (Y/N)'s manager.

" You couldn't have brought in more skilled opponents? " (Y/N) leaned on the wall, arms crossed and Bruce was sure that he could see that frown on (Y/N)'s face, even though he couldn't see the face of his son.

" It's not my problem that you are leaps and bounds above them. " The executive said, adjusting his tie.

" You need to get me better opponents. "

" Is that the way you speak to your manager? " The man chuckled and Bruce could only sense the eye roll from (Y/N).

" Well, when your Boogeyman is getting a lot of money rolling into Wayne Enterprises, I would like to think that I can speak to you the way I damn please. "

Bruce's eyes widened as he listened in, adjusting his position on the beam.

Big profits that created a spike were 2 years ago and they kept growing... Underground fighting was the reason why there were even more money rolling in? What the fuck?

" Well, I do pay you well from what we earn, don't I? "

" Well, you have to if you want to keep the Boogeyman.. Besides, why did you give me that name? "

" I didn't name you that, everyone else did. And besides, it's a scary nickname that fits you. " The manager said as he stood up straighter.

" Anyway, I'm going home now. I have to make sure that dad doesn't see this, " (Y/N) murmured, making the manager nod.

" If Bruce finds out about this, we are all doomed kid. Have a good night. "

" You too. "

Bruce and everyone else were waiting for (Y/N) back at the manor, making sure to get there before him. They informed Alfred and have decided to confront him once he gets home. They dressed out of their suits and were waiting in the living room, all pretending to do something to seem natural in their behavior. Not like they are trying to confront him.

And oddly enough, the night is young anyway, so they didn't need pretend to be asleep.

(Y/N) came in, saying hi to everyone before going to the kitchen to get a snack. He already showered at the old house, curtesy of his manager.

" Evening (Y/N), how was your night? " Bruce looked up from a magazine, something he just picked up randomly.

" Eh, peaceful. "

Bruce and everyone else glanced at each other. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

" Ah. So we didn't see you in that abandoned house? " Damian started and (Y/N) tensed up for a bit before relaxing.

" No, must have been someone else, " (Y/N) said nonchalantly, keeping his composure.

Everyone slowly migrated to the kitchen, ready to slowly confront (Y/N).

" Are you sure? " Bruce asked and (Y/N) nodded.

" Of course I'm sure. "

And so they all attacked him at the same time.

And (Y/N) reacted, of course.

By wiping the floor with them. Completely and utterly.

Bruce was shocked and Damian was starstruck. Tim, Dick and Tim slowly moved away.

" What the fuck? " Jason muttered.

" Language, " Alfred stated, trying not to show his shock.

" (Y/N), you need to teach me! " Damian now followed (Y/N) around, clearly trying to get into his good graces to teach him. (Y/N) just wanted some peace in this insane household.

" Who taught you all of this? "

(Y/N) simply ducked into his room, avoiding everyone. Not tonight. Nope. Nope. Not gonna happen.

[zooophagous]

PLEASE say more about your cultural understanding of tattoos if/when you feel up to it; your perspective on it is really interesting!

I can only really speak from my own perspective on it as a fairly recent initiate into tattooing, but the way tattoos have been viewed in the past (even the very recent past) had changed very quickly with new technology.

Finer lines become possible, and greater variety of colors, so the necessity of sticking to thick lines and heavy black with few color options is no longer the case. Improved technology means more styles become possible to tattoo in, and as such instead of the restrictions of the media informing the tattoo, tattoos are now available in a wide variety of art styles and the art world and overall cultural zeitgeist now heavily influence tattoos instead of tattoos by necessity having their own set style guides and language.

This means more mass appeal, you can do almost whatever you want art wise now and many tattooers are fine artists in their own right. So now we have more and more women and young professionals into it and not just bikers, gang members or sailors as the stereotypes used to hold.

So now tattoos are trendy for everyone, as the nation slowly but surely sheds its puritanical leanings. But now that tattooing is no longer an underground art form and is largely regulated and legalized, a new underground form of it lives on.

Thanks to online buy-anything sorts of sites like Amazon, Temu and Wish, it's easier than ever for the garage, apartment or party to host impromptu tattoos. And because it is often very difficult to get someone to agree to teach you how to tattoo, almost all of these people are self taught and receive instructions via youtube.

So why then, if you can get anything you want as a tattoo, would people still go for these dubiously sanitary pieces by untrained artists?

Part of it is related to why tattoos may have existed in the first place- they denote your culture, your people, who you belong to. For a lot of the apartment tattoo getters, they're allowing their friends or family members to practice on them as a sign of love and trust.

Part of it is cost. Cheap things always have a market, even if they're not good.

But part of it I think is nihilism. That is, a sense that you have no future, nothing to live for and therefore nothing to lose. Many young people cannot envision themselves in old age and many of them tell you they'll likely die young. So why not, then, get the bad tattoo? The tattoo is temporary because life is temporary. We lead such short desperate lives that refusing a tattoo because of some imagined professional setting you might be in seems as asinine as thinking one day you might be a billionaire. It's just as unattainable.

Throw in a little postmodernism, a little dadaism and you have the perfect storm for the rise of ignorant style tattoos. They're not good, but that's largely the point. They don't have to be. In fact the ugliness is largely the point of this art form. Much like how Duchamp's Fountain was never meant to be a beautiful piece of sculpture but rather a biting satire, ignorant style tattoos become the response to the former underground artform of tattooing going mainstream and suddenly costing thousands and thousands of dollars, and people showing off wealth with perfectly technically done sleeves.

It's for obvious reasons a very divisive style of tattooing, and now even legitimate shops are turning out things that look "bad on purpose" but are technically well applied when examined closely. Personally I think most of them are ugly as shit but what the Hell do I know I'm just some bitch.

[malicexo]

Unprofessional Thoughts

idol!San x Staff!Reader

smut, mirror sex, overstim, begging, secret fucking, corruption, 18++, MDNI!!

You should have known from the moment you got assigned to be San's stylist for the day, that this would be dangerous.

It started subtly, him lingering too close when you adjusted his mic, the way his eyes would flicker over you during styling sessions, the teasing smirk that never seemed to leave his lips. You told yourself it was all in your head. That he was just like this with everyone.

But you knew better.

“Need something, sweetheart?” San’s voice was a low purr as you fumbled with the in-ear monitors, cursing your shaky hands.

“No,” you said too quickly, clearing your throat as you focused on the task at hand. “Just making sure everything’s secure.”

He chuckled, tilting his head so your fingers brushed against the side of his neck. “You’re always so nervous around me,” he mused. “It’s cute.”

You froze, heat crawling up your spine. “I—I’m not nervous.”

San hummed in amusement, eyes dark as he watched you struggle. “Really? Then why are your hands shaking?”

You yanked back, flustered beyond belief. “I have other things to do,” you mumbled, turning away.

But of course, he wasn’t done with you yet.

Later, backstage, you were checking over his outfit one last time before he went on stage when he suddenly reached for your wrist, his grip firm but not forceful. “You should really stop running from me.”

Your breath hitched as he pulled you just a little closer, his gaze flickering to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “You make this too fun.”

“San,” you whispered, trying to sound firm, but it came out far too weak. Unconvincing.

He grinned, utterly shameless. “You like it when I do this, don’t you?” His fingers ghosted along your wrist before dropping back to his side. “I think you like being flustered.”

You swallowed hard, unable to form a coherent response. The worst part? He was right.

The announcement for showtime cut through the moment, and with one last smirk, San leaned in just enough that his lips barely brushed your ear. “Don’t miss me too much while I’m on stage, sweetheart.”

And then he was gone, leaving you standing there, hot-faced and completely screwed.

Later that night, you were back in the dressing room, gathering scattered accessories and clothes while the staff packed up. Most of the crew had left, and you assumed San had, too until you felt a presence behind you.

“Were alone...” his voice came low and teasing, sending a shiver down your spine.

You turned, only to find him standing much too close, still in his stage outfit, the sweat on his skin making his black shirt cling to his toned chest. His hair was slightly messy from the performance, his lips curved in a knowing smirk.

“I'm leaving.” you stammered, stepping back, but he followed, his fingers catching your wrist again—so casually, like he owned your reactions.

“But I wanted to see you,” he murmured, eyes dark with something unreadable. “Wanted to know if you were still thinking about me.”

You swallowed, heart pounding as his fingers traced slow, deliberate circles on your wrist. “I—I wasn’t.”

San chuckled, clearly entertained by your pathetic attempt at denial. “Lie.”

His free hand lifted, ghosting along the hem of your shirt, his fingers barely brushing your skin beneath the fabric. The air between you felt thick, charged.

“I think about you, you know?” he mused, tilting his head as his gaze roamed your face. “I think about how pretty you look when you get all flustered for me.”

Your breath hitched as he stepped even closer, caging you between his body and the vanity behind you. His lips hovered just above yours, the heat of his breath teasing against your skin.

“I wonder,” he murmured, “if you’d still be this shy if I really touched you.”

Your knees nearly buckled, but before you could even process what was happening, he leaned in—

And then, just like that, he pulled away.

With a wicked smirk, he let go of your wrist, stepping back as if nothing had happened, leaving you breathless and dizzy.

“See you at work tomorrow, sweetheart,” he winked before disappearing through the door, leaving you aching for something you never should have wanted.

“See you at work, sweetheart.”

That one little word had been echoing in your head all fucking night.

Sweetheart.

He said it so casually — like he hadn’t just leaned in close enough to kiss you in the empty dressing room, breath hot against your lips, eyes flicking down to your mouth like he was thinking about breaking every single unspoken rule between you.

You’d been holding your breath — waiting for him to close that tiny little space.

He never did.

Just smirked.

Winked.

Left you standing there flushed and shaking while he disappeared through the door, leaving you aching for something you should have never wanted in the first place.

You told yourself you’d forget about it by morning. That it was just San playing one of his little games — always pushing, always testing how far he could go before you snapped.

But then you walked into the dressing room the next day — clipboard hugged tight to your chest — and San was already sitting in the makeup chair, legs spread wide, black tank top clinging to his chest.

His dark eyes flicked up the second you stepped through the door.

“Morning.”

Your stomach dropped.

Fuck.

You froze — gripping your clipboard like it might stop your hands from shaking.

“A—Morning,” you muttered, bowing, eyes locked on the floor.

You could feel him smirking without even looking.

He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

He was testing you again — waiting to see if you’d pretend last night never happened or if you’d finally crack and let him ruin you the way you both knew he wanted to.

You made a beeline for the rack of stage outfits — pretending like you didn’t feel his eyes dragging down your body.

Professional.

Stay professional.

You were halfway through double-checking the fitting schedule when his voice drifted through the room.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again after last night.”

Your breath caught.

He was still sitting in the chair — arms draped lazy over the armrests, legs spread wide like he was inviting you to climb right into his lap.

His voice was so low, so casual — like the two of you were the only ones in the room.

You glanced around quickly — heat creeping up your neck.

There were three makeup artists in the corner. Staff moving in and out. Cameras tucked into the corners of the ceiling.

He knew you couldn’t react.

That’s exactly why he was doing this.

“I—” You cleared your throat, clutching the clipboard tighter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

San’s smile flickered — slow and lazy.

“That’s cute.”

His eyes dragged down your body — stopping at the little gap where your blouse was tucked into your high-waisted skirt.

“You always this shy when someone’s about to kiss you?”

Your whole body flushed hot.

Fuck.

He was pushing you right to the edge and he knew you couldn’t say a damn thing.

You swallowed hard, forcing your eyes back on your clipboard.

“I’m here to work, San.”

He leaned back in the chair — all sharp smirks and cocky little tilts of his head.

“But you want me to finish what I started, don’t you?”

Your breath hitched.

His smile flickered wider — so fucking smug.

“That’s why you’re shaking right now, sweetheart.”

You gripped your clipboard tighter — nails digging into the paper.

This was a game to him.

A long, slow game he’d been playing for months — pushing you inch by inch, waiting for the moment you’d finally break.

You hated him for it.

You hated how bad you wanted him to win.

“Need me to help you calm down?” he murmured — voice so low you almost thought you’d imagined it.

Your thighs clenched together automatically.

San’s eyes flicked down.

Ohhhhhh, he fucking saw that.

You needed to get out of this room before you did something stupid — something you couldn’t take back.

You spun on your heel — ready to run — but San’s voice stopped you cold.

“That’s okay, sweetheart.”

“I like watching you squirm.”

You sucked in a sharp breath — heart slamming against your ribs.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whispered, hating how weak your voice sounded.

San’s fingers brushed down your arm — just the lightest touch — barely enough to be inappropriate.

Enough to wreck you completely.

“Yes, you do.”

You were going to lose your mind.

You were going to let him break you.

He winked again.

Like he already knew you’d spend the next four hours with your thighs pressed tight together — aching and wet under your little skirt — trying to pretend your sweet, polite professional little self wasn’t already completely ruined for him.

You’d been avoiding him all day.

Keeping your head down.

Sticking to the schedule.

But San had been watching you.

Waiting.

It was after rehearsal when he finally made his move.

You were sorting through accessories in the wardrobe closet — pretending you didn’t feel his eyes on you from across the hall— when he shouted your name from across the hallway.

“Y/N… can you help me with something?”

You froze — heart slamming hard against your ribs.

His voice was all polite and sweet — the way it always was in front of everyone.

But when you walked over to him— his dark eyes were already on you.

Waiting.

“What—What do you need?”

San’s smile flickered — slow and lazy.

“My necklace.”

His fingers curled around the silver chain on his neck — thumb dragging along the clasp.

“I can’t get it off.”

You should have made someone else help him.

You should have stayed right where you were — safe behind the racks of clothes.

But your body was already moving — clipboard tucked under your arm, legs carrying you across the room before your brain could catch up.

It wasn’t until you slipped through the doorway that you realized he was standing in one of the back storage rooms — dark, secluded, far away from anyone else.

The door clicked shut behind you.

Locked.

Your stomach dropped.

“San—”

He turned slowly — leaning back against the table like he hadn’t just trapped you on purpose.

“You always come running when I ask, don’t you?”

Your heart was slamming so hard you swore he could hear it.

“This isn’t funny—”

“Never said it was.”

His fingers brushed up the back of his neck — tilting his head just slightly, offering you the chain.

“Come on, sweetheart.”

His dark eyes flicked down to your hands.

“Help me.” he pouted.

You swallowed hard — throat bone-dry.

You were supposed to be professional.

Supposed to keep your hands off him — supposed to forget about last night and every other time he’d whispered filthy little things to you under his breath when no one else was listening.

But you moved anyway — hands shaking as you reached for the clasp at the back of his neck.

He was so warm.

So close.

His head dipped lower — breath fanning soft against your cheek.

“You’re nervous.”

You sucked in a sharp breath — fingers fumbling with the clasp.

“N-No—”

San’s smirk flickered — soft, almost teasing.

“Lie.”

His hands slid down slow — brushing against your waist.

You froze.

“Relax, sweetheart…”

His voice was so soft — barely more than a murmur against your ear.

“It’s just me.”

That’s what made him so dangerous.

He never had to force you.

He just pushed — so soft, so sweet — until you were the one crossing the line without even realizing.

“I… I need to get back to work—”

San’s fingers slipped lower — toying with the hem of your little work skirt.

“But you don’t want to leave, do you?”

Your whole body flushed hot — heat pooling low in your belly.

“San—”

His fingers curled around your chin — tilting your head up until you were staring straight into those dark, lazy eyes.

“Say you want me to stop.”

Your breath caught.

You couldn’t.

You both knew you couldn’t.

That’s exactly why he was doing this.

“That’s what I thought.”

His mouth brushed against your jaw — slow, teasing little kisses down your neck.

“You want to be a good girl for me, don’t you?”

Your knees buckled.

He caught you — one strong hand gripping the back of your thigh, bringing you closer against his waist.

“You’ve been waiting for me to fuck you since the first day you saw me.”

You whimpered — hips grinding up into him completely on instinct.

San’s smile flickered.

“There she is.”

His free hand slid between your thighs — fingers dragging up slow, lazy along your soaked little panties.

“Soaking wet just from me locking the door.”

You let out a broken little sob — nails digging into his shirt.

“You know how long I’ve been waiting to get you alone, sweetheart?”

He pressed two fingers right against your soaked little slit — not pushing inside, just teasing — watching the way you squirmed against him.

“You think I don’t notice how you squeeze your thighs together every time I call you that?”

“You’ve been begging me to fuck you for months without even knowing.”

You were shaking — thighs clenching around his hand.

“I—I’m not—”

San’s fingers slipped inside — two thick fingers stretching you open, making you silently cry out into his shoulder.

“Lie.”

He fucked you with his fingers slow and deep — thumb circling your clit, coaxing out every filthy little sound he knew you were trying to swallow down.

“You gonna let me ruin you in this room, sweetheart?”

“You gonna let me fuck you so hard you can’t even look me in the eye at work tomorrow?”

You sobbed — hips grinding down into his hand like you couldn’t stop yourself anymore.

You went silent.

San’s smile flickered wider — so fucking smug.

“That’s what I thought.”

You were still trembling against him — two fingers buried deep inside you, panties shoved to the side while San whispered filthy little lies into your ear.

“You were made for this, sweetheart.”

His thumb circled your clit slow and lazy — just enough to keep you on the edge without letting you fall over.

“You just needed someone to show you how to beg properly.”

Your whole body shook — tears hot behind your eyes, thighs squeezing tight around his wrist.

“I—I can’t—”

San’s smile flickered — so sweet.

“Yes, you can.”

He squeezed your throat tighter — making your head tip back, breath hitching in little broken gasps.

“You’ve been waiting for me to break you, sweetheart.”

His fingers fucked into you deeper — slow and steady, stretching you out inch by inch.

“You’re not gonna act shy now.”

You whimpered — nails digging into his biceps, hips grinding down into his hand without even meaning to.

“You want me to stop?”

You shook your head — bottom lip wobbling.

San’s smile flickered wider — so fucking smug.

“That’s what I thought.”

He pressed his thumb harder against your clit — slow little circles that made your whole body arch into him.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?”

Your thighs clenched around his hand — head falling back against the wall.

“N-No… I can’t—”

San’s teeth dragged down the side of your neck — biting just hard enough to make you cry out.

“You can.”

“You will.”

His fingers slammed into you harder — wet little sounds filling the room as you fell apart around him, crying into his shoulder while he fucked you through it.

“That’s my good girl…”

You were still shaking — thighs sticky, breath broken — when he finally pulled his fingers out of you.

San held them up between you — two fingers soaked in your slick — watching the way your glassy little eyes flicked down to them.

“You made such a mess for me.”

You were still too wrecked to answer — chest heaving, cheeks flushed hot.

San grabbed your chin — forcing your mouth open with two wet fingers.

“Clean it up.”

Your whole body locked up.

But you opened your mouth anyway — letting him push his fingers down on your tongue.

San leaned in close — thumb smearing your own slick across your swollen bottom lip.

“You gonna let me ruin you in here, sweetheart?”

You whimpered around his fingers — glassy little eyes flicking up to him like you didn’t even know how to say no anymore.

San’s cock twitched hard against your thigh.

"You think I don't see the way you squeeze your thighs together every time I get too close?"

You whimpered - thighs clenching.

San's dark eyes flicked down.

Ohhhhhh, he saw that.

His voice was so soft — so sweet — like he wasn't about to ruin your whole life in this room.

"You just needed someone to break you in."

Your head was spinning — heart slamming against your ribs.

"San-"

He loosened his grip on your throat

His hands yanked your skirt up around your waist - fingers sliding under the waistband of your soaked little panties

Your whole body arched into him — breath catching in little broken gasps.

He ripped your panties clean off - tucking them into his pocket like the psycho he was — before turning you around and shoving you up against the wall.

His hand slid down your spine — pressing you flat against the cold wall.

"You know why I picked this room, sweetheart?"

You shook your head - breath ragged, thighs trembling.

San's hand wrapped tight around the back of your neck - forcing your glassy little eyes up to the mirror mounted on the wall.

"So I could watch what how pretty you are when I fuck you."

You let out a broken little sob - thighs squeezing shut.

San kicked your legs apart — pressing the tip of his cock right up against your soaking little cunt.

"You gonna let me ruin you, sweetheart?"

You nodded frantically - cheeks burning, eyes already glassy.

San smirked - slow and dangerous.

"That's my girl."

He slammed inside you in one deep thrust — making you scream into his hand as he stretched you open.

"So fucking tight..."

He fucked you slow at first — long, deep strokes that had your eyes rolling back into your head.

"You feel how perfect you fit around me, sweetheart?"

His hand slid back up around your throat - squeezing tight as he forced you to look at yourself in the mirror. "Look how pretty you are when you're finally letting me have you."

Your whole body was shaking - face smushed up against the mirror, palms flat against the wall while San's cock dragged deep into you from behind.

"Look at yourself, sweetheart."

His voice was so soft — breath hot against your ear.

"Look how  messy you get for me."

You couldn't stop whimpering - little gasping sobs echoing off the walls as his cock stretched you open, wet little sounds filling the room every time he slammed into you harder.

"You gonna cry for me, baby?"

San's hand wrapped tight around your throat

- squeezing just hard enough to make your head spin.

"You gonna let me have you?"

You blinked up at your reflection - glassy little eyes wide and dumb - tears streaking down your flushed cheeks.

You hated how pretty you looked like this.

How much you loved the way he was wrecking you- Fucking you so deep you could feel him in your fucking stomach -

Dragging out every filthy little sound you didn't even know your body could make.

"You should hate this, shouldn't you?"

San's fingers slipped down between your legs

- circling your swollen little clit in slow, lazy strokes.

"You should tell me to stop..."

You whimpered — hips bucking back into him without even thinking.

"But you like it."

San's breath was hot aginst your ear — soft, syrupy sweet.

You sobbed - legs shaking under him.

"You like knowing you're gonna spend the whole day walking around work with my cum dripping down your thighs."

You squeezed your eyes shut — face burning.

"N-No-"

San laughed softly - cock dragging so slow, so deep inside you it made your whole body tremble.

"Lie."

He slammed into you harder - one hand wrapped tight around your throat, the other circling your clit until you were crying into the mirror.

"You gonna cum for me?"

You whimpered — head falling back against his shoulder, body twitching underneath him.

"You wanna cum on my cock in this little room where anyone could walk in?"

He was so fucking mean - dragging you right to the edge, making you work for it.

"You want me to fill this tight little pussy up?"

Your whole body locked up - walls squeezing tight around him at those filthy little words.

San groaned against your ear - hips snapping harder, slamming you up against the wall.

"That's what you want, huh?"

"You want me to fuck you full and send you back to work?"

You sobbed - nails scratching down the mirror - thighs trembling as the first orgasm hit you so hard your whole brain shut off.

"There she is..."

San grinned against your ear - dragging you through it, fucking you even harder...

"That's my good girl."

You were still crying — half-conscious — when he finally pinned you flat against the wall, hips snapping rough into you, cock buried so deep you couldn't even breathe.

"Can I fill you up, sweetheart?"

You nodded frantically - brain completely broken - too fucked out to even speak.

"Please—"

San's teeth sank into your neck — hips slamming into you one last time as he came so deep inside you  

you could feel it leaking out before he even pulled out.

"Ohhh" he moaned.

He held you there — cock still twitching inside you — hands gripping your hips so hard they were definitely going to bruise.

"You look so pretty like this, sweetheart."

You whimpered - completely wrecked - body boneless in his hands.

But San wasn't done.

He reached down - grabbing your soaked little panties off the floor.

"Open."

Your lips parted on instinct — brain too dumb and cockdrunk to even think about saying no.

He stuffed your panties into your mouth - making you taste yourself while he slid them back up your shaky thighs.

"Don't take them off."

His fingers pressed against the ruined fabric - pushing his cum deep inside you.

"You're gonna wear them all day."

"Every time you feel me dripping out of you, you're gonna remember you're mine."

You were still shaking when he finally fixed your skirt — smoothing it down over your trembling thighs like nothing ever happened.

"Go back to work, sweetheart."

[arrowsperpetualcringe]

"I knew it

In my heart

That the hardest choice

Would be the best"

""No matter what we do, life is just like that"

I mumbled as somebody's tears flow down the dried cheeks"

"The bond between us had come apart

And is dying away in everyday

Goodbye, my sweetheart, it's over"

Milgram Vocaloid Collection 7/7

Previous

Hellooo ^^

I'm sure you noticed the "7/7"

This post marks my official departure from the Milgram fandom!

If you know you know. If you're curious I vented about it like a few hours ago.

It's over n done with now. I deleted the original post and all subsequent ones.

For anyone curious as to what the rest of the songs would be for the remaining prisoners, you can take a peek below the cut

Keep in mind, all song choices were like. Set in stone when I first set off on this little project like a year or so ago. So if any song is inaccurate, that's why.

Anyway

Prisoner 008 Amane Momose

Aishite Aishite Aishite

The inspiration for the art was going to be this frame from the music video

The lyrics that made me associate her with this song are

"Don’t get angry. Don’t abandon me. Don’t go anywhere. (Hey.)

It strangles me tightly, til I could throw up, whenever no one's, no one's around.

Nice grades, huh? Hey, hey, aren’t I a good kid?

Aren’t I a cute kid? Hey, hey,

I’m good, right? It hurts, hey..."

Prisoner 009 Mikoto Kayano

Meltdown

The inspiration for his illustration would've been this part from the music video

The lyrics that made me associate this song with Mikoto are

"In my dream I strangled you

In the languid afternoon light

I watched your throat, thin and twitching

Through eyes brimming with tears"

"If I could

Jump into the core

I feel as if all would be forgiven"

Prisoner 010 Kotoko Yuzuriha

Mind brand.

There's... Only really one visual related to that song.

I was just planning to wing it with the style of the cover art of the song

Anyway

The lyrics that made me associate that song with her are

"You think your idiotic head that clearly isn't screwed on right

Holds any innocence within?!

Shut the hell up, dumbass."

"Alas,

the heroine of tragedy

is crying, for,

after dolling herself up and dealing with pain,

the happiness she had plucked off has been stolen."

...and yeah that's it.

I accidentally posted this early before I was finished typing Kotoko's song

But whatever, noone is even gonna read this

At this point I'm just doing this for my own piece of mind.😅

Anyway

Yeah

I had some fun here

I don't feel too bad about leaving though, no one in this space is gonna really miss me.

I wish I could still engage with the community, but if it's in my head or not, it's just not possible for me to do that in an enjoyable way anymore.

Thanks for the memories

See ya

[sugar-grigri]

Do you think we’ll at least see Asa’s perspective or thoughts on what Yoru has done to Denji? Especially with Yoru’s last statement in chapter 192? It just feels to jarring to see Yoru without any interference or anger from Asa. I’m sure that Asa likes Denji, but I don’t think she would want to pursue Denji like that. I think that logically Asa would want to scare Denji away. Isn’t Yoru’s deal finished? Yoru said she wanted to beat Chainsawman, she technically DID, so by logic Asa should get her body back, no?

I!!!!!! Don’t!!!!!! KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! 😢😢

I've got one side optimistic and the other very pessimistic on this point.

By the way, my recent theory on Asa may be disillusionment, as I refuse to accept what Fujimoto has done with his character.

So here are two answers:

If I'm being pessimistic, even though I'm hoping for more of Asa's POV, I don't think we'll get it.

Fujimoto had a very weird writing style, after the chapter where Yoru masturbates Denji (it's very crude said like that but hey), Asa's only reaction is to be afraid that Denji thinks she's an easy girl

And I admit I was like: HUH ????

What kind of reaction is this?

Either 1) Fujimoto is very based, and shows that Asa whether by her possession by Yoru - her age is unaware of her aggression. That she is once again more focused on her image than on protecting herself.

2) Either Fujimoto considers that he hasn't written an assault scene. I hope this isn't the case, otherwise a lot of CSM's narratives would fall apart, but I think we can get this impression precisely from Asa's lack of reaction/anger/disgust at everything Yoru has done.

Honestly, it all depends on the next chapters, so I can't say for sure.

If I'm being optimistic, maybe we'll get that reaction, but it doesn't really resemble Fujimoto's writing style, which likes scenes to stand on their own.

On the other hand, Asa's future development and actions can deepen his feelings and help us understand her point of view.

The absence of Asa is so glaring that I'm surprised it's a flaw in CSM and not something the reader focuses on.

As for your last two questions, I have to admit that we're in total limbo.

For me, Asa probably doesn't want to haggle over her first time for obvious reasons, but if we're very pessimistic, we could say that she shares Yoru's feelings on this point.

But if I'm being optimistic, I have a more precise reading Yoru wants to sleep with Denji IF he accomplishes her new objective, and since Asa doesn't share this objective, mathematically, she doesn't want to sleep with Denji like that.

As for Yoru's aim of defeating CSM, technically she didn't, and I have to admit that the previous arc is completely muddled on this subject: to the point where I didn't even understand why Yoru was fighting him any more.

In any case, she couldn't completely annihilate him because the devil of aging intervened.

But it's messy again, for example how do we explain that Yoru now has the goal of going after his big sister? The devil of death?

The only explanation is: the law of the strongest

Yoru has gained the upper hand over CSM, and his feelings for him, as well as his superiority in terms of power, allow him to consider turning him into a weapon.

He's a potential weapon, not an enemy

Yoru is the war devil, she needs opposition and fighting, so her next enemy is the death devil.

And when you think about it, I think that's exactly how Fami thought, which is why she insisted that Yoru had to beat the black CSM

1) for Yoru to change her objective on her own (no need to manipulate her)

2) Fami had prepared the ground with the fire demon to give her the means to have this power.

In short, nothing but grey areas! Let's hope Fujimoto doesn't go down a disappointing road!

[lyiswriting]

Plus size!reader x Stalker!OC

Past mention

Things about Landon!

I kinda want Landon to be like a Punk/Jock. Idk I'm figuring it out

How I'm thinking they met

Met the reader in the subway. It was a rush hour and the train was packed and she was standing in front of him. He didn't pay attention at first just scrolling on his phone. Until he looked up and they accidentally made eye contact. He fell so quickly, he couldn't stop looking at her as she squirmed. His gaze making her uncomfortable, she thought he was handsome but why would he be looking at her. Reader doesn't question her beauty but it's still weird.

Offered her his seat but she refused as it was already hard to get around and her hips weren't about to fit in that space. He insists but she keeps refusing. Eventually they both drop the conversation but Landon doesn't stop looking at her. Taking in every inch of her, even sneaking a picture the best he can.

Things he starts to do

He starts purposely missing his usual train to take the same one as reader. Once this starts to affect his schedule he changes it so it can fit. Doesn't even need to talk to reader as long as he gets to look at her.

Observes everything about her. Her style, purse, pins, keychains, anything! To try and get more information on her, soon enough he catches a glimpse of a tag on her purse. That's how he gets her name and quickly takes it to social media.

Starts to purposely push people out, makes sure there's a seat next to him. Once this fails the first couple times and reader doesn't sit next to him he re-thinks. From observing he notices she tries to take as little space as she can. And from media he finds out people complain about plus size people sitting next to them. So he starts to stand, stands next to her, glances at her phone, down her shirt, and into her bag if he can!

Subway can get pretty rough so when they hit a rough patch he always uses it as an excuse to get closer. Putting his hand on the bar next to her, "stumbling" into her, grabbing her so she "doesn't fall" all with that innocent charm of his.

Diary keeping. Writes down everything! Even if it's the smallest glance it will have almost a whole page. What reader wore, if she had a snack, how she looked, and not only the stuff you can see. But the stuff he's imagining, the bra color, the beauty marks, the positions.

He starts incorporating her into the things he does. I'm not sure what I want Landon to work as but reader does make her way into it. If it's art she is his muse, he draws her and paints her body all the time. Over and over making sure every detail is just right not leaving a single mark. If it's music, his lyrics describe her. The plush of her hips, his need to grab and bite. If it's business or something of the sorts he creates things that allows plus size people to be more included. Like more sizing, open spaces, and things he knows she will like.

Reader isn't Landon's type.

By reader not being Landon's "type" I mean he has never been with a bigger woman. He's stereotyped to be seen with that classic skinny, blonde, and blued eyes. It will play into the gaslighting and manipulation I have planned for him to do.

Landon is used to getting what he wants.

Even if he has to fight for it he will have it. Anything and anyone. He's patient and will achieve. Yes, this does mean he would kill for reader.

Reader makes Landon feel like he's never felt hormones before.

He's confused himself because he's never been shy with women, always had options. So the way that he can't get her out of his head is insane to him. Spends hours and hours just thinking about reader, drawing, writing, rewatching videos he's taken, printing pictures, picking out gifts to send her, and watching porn but looking for her. Anyone that looks like her but it's never enough because it's not reader!

I'm so happy and grateful for the support on the first post! So here's some stuff I have planned for Landon. Definitely more to come and more scenes!

[eachuisge-cc]

fuck it, coyote time

[shimmerluna]

WAIT Elle has box braids in s3??? I could cry

I don't think she had bad hair in s1 or s2, but I'm excited that they're actually giving the Black girls Black hairstyles instead of having them wear it out.

Before, it felt like the (all-white, for context) hair department was just ignorant about Black hair, so they put wigs on the Black actresses and only did styles that also work on nonblack hair for their own sake/convenience. This theory was especially supported by the fact that Tara, whose 4c hair couldn't really be styled the same as nonblack hair, wore a twistout that would take literal hours to do every day, but she had box braids in s2! and Elle has box braids now!! I'm so excited!!!

I also feel like this fits her bold, fashion-loving personality so much better than leaving her hair out. Our hair is basically its own accessory, and the long box braids are very feminine. Again, I'm not saying not having a protective style isn't feminine or fashionable (I myself am a fashion girlie with an Afro), but having one is another outlet for her creativity, and I'm glad they're recognizing that now.

[silvermeww]

12. An unpopular character you like? (and why more people should like them)

asdfghjk THANKS FOR THE ASK I'M GIVING YOU SO MUCH <33 RN

Ooh, hmm, this'll be fun. there are so many examples in pokeani and honestly some are a little eh, but then I remembered how almost every comment I see about 'worse' characters seem to include Max and I just don't get it?? How can anyone hate him??

(fun fact, when I was first watching him - in dub mind you - I also really didn't like him much. but I was coming off from the end of the OG, which was pretty sad considering who we lost, and tbh especially in 4kids early seasons dub EVERYONE was pretty unlikeable. I think I hated almost everyone back in the early gens at some point lol; I can be real vindicative but I think watching the whole thing taught me to take my time before judging stuff :v)

But yeah!! I really don't get the hate. Oh, so he said that Ash sucked for getting 8th place in the Silver Conference - can we all remember that a) legit kid and b) he's seeing this guy lose to an evolved starter from his own region of the SAME type as Ash's. It's like watching a Venasaur lose to Meganium if you're from Kanto; you'll be feeling pretty patriotic and stuff too ngl, especially if you don't have any battle experience yet.

But he acts so smart - Yes, and?? I don't see anyone talk about how Gary was coming up in the first season spouting random facts only to lose in the prelims and get a lower place than Ash. Again, I wish that people remember that Max is the kid of a Gym Leader, who reads and watches Leagues to make up for not being able to watc the Gym Battles taking place under the same roof, who dreams of becoming as strong if not stronger than his father. He's going to have high expectations. He's going to think that knowledge is everything. He's going to show off as much as he can, to make up for the fact that he's the only one in the group who isn't a Trainer. And I love how he learns that you have to actually interact with Pokemon to learn what it's all about, that you can't replace experience, that you can still experience things now even if you are too young to start. There isn't a limit to going out and interacting with the world. He doesn't have to wait. He's allowed to make mistakes and own up and not know stuff and grow, now and in the future. In a way, he's learning the same things as May, and I think that's wonderful.

And while I wish that he could've gotten a Pokemon while on the journey (one that he could keep à la XY with Bonnie), I'm fine with what he had in Advanced. He got to see Gym Battles. He got to travel two (2) regions. He got to see different aspects of being a Trainer, as a Coordinator and as a Breeder/Doctor. He got the recognition of his father in the end and was able to get into the Gym business. He got to play and learn with so many Pokemon and just act his age for once, instead of having to grow up to make up the percieved difference (wrongly percieved, might I add). Dang it, he brefriended two Mythical Pokemon (Jirachi and that other Deoxys). I dunno, he's doing pretty well for himself. Sure he's snappish and remarks on a bunch of stuff, but AG is full of that (ugh Ash was on another level, especially in Hoenn) (we don't talk about flat Brock) and S1 Kanto was way worse.

Anyways everyone go out and appreciate this goober. He did not bond with this Ralts for nothing and I swear I did not cry in this ep just for everyone to hate him. His character growth was awesome and if we ever get a Chronicles 2.0 I need to see his journey (the kids that go with Ash legit get such powerful Pokemon I fear for the competition lol).

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of everyone like where's the story songs where's the songs about specificass situations where's songs about anything that's not generic romance or generic i want to hook up tonight, what a great time i had the other night just ending up on a thread going Sure Show Me That One okay now Sure Show Me This One nyc cabaret videos lol. that usually whatever show things were from will have its own overarching theme but individual songs will probably have this standalone quality to them & be bangers while also probably getting surprising, funny, odd, have Specificity. obviously being youtube posts of live performances of nyc cabaret like singers who are also Actors left & right, songs that are written for live performance with a story, musicals, musical theatrey concerts, cabarets, standalones. going like well i don't have specific context for what might be a larger work this was developed to be a part of but damn if i don't need that to follow gists & enjoy shit anyway. damn if some songs take situations that could be framed in a more "relatable" mundane or [remove disambiguating details] way but makes a point to clearly put it in some really specific Situation & lord knows please with sense of specific character(tm)

[badbtssmut]

Magic Stick

Jungkook is kinda sad because he has never been with a girl who could take him balls deep because of his size, reader doesn't believe him and she wants to see, but he tells her that he can't atm bc he's not hard. She is wearing this kinda halter top style with no bra so she looses the top and shows her tits to him and let's him touch them. After he's hard he shows her his dick and she says she's willing to try to take it all and she rides him into the sunset

Admin note: idea by anon

Contains: Big dick JK, handjob, some boobplay, missionary, riding, reader expresses that she is uncertain if it will fit, it takes some time getting it fully in ;), reader whimpers a bit, JK’s ex cheated on him, jk cums a lot

—

“What’s wrong with you?” You glanced over to your best friend, he has been in a horrible mood for a week and no one knew why. Not even your mutual friends knew what was up with Jungkook.

”It’s nothing.” He mumbled in response.

“Come on, I can tell something is bothering you.” You pushed.

"Fine. My girlfriend broke up with me.” He finally cracked.

"Wait, what?” You stood from the dining table, and inched closer to Jungkook who was sitting on the sofa. “Why’d she do that?" You question, shocked by the sudden news. "You two seemed so happy. What happened?"

"She… she was cheating on me.” He confessed.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What a bitch." You really couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Don’t blame her, I guess.” Jungkook said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't be silly. You’re too forgiving." You sighed.

"It's not that. The sex, my size— it just never worked out in bed. It was never a good fit." Jungkook confessed, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"So, you're saying, she dumped you ‘cause of your dick size? The fuck? That's just shallow. Why would she do that?" You sat next to him.

"Yeah, it didn’t fit, literally. I’d hurt her, it wasn’t going to work out from the start. We tried a few times, but the whole experience was just awful. I guess she couldn't stand it anymore." He said, defeated.

“That doesn't make any sense, surely you aren’t that big? Are you sure she’s not just making excuses?” You couldn’t believe his ex would end things with him over his size.

"No, I am that big." Jungkook replied.

"Really?" You were skeptical.

"I've always had a big dick." He added.

"Show me."

"What?"

"Show me." You repeated. “I just want to know if you’re bullshitting or not.”

"No." He declined, looking at you as if you said the most ridiculous thing ever, clearly embarrassed by your request.

"Oh, come oooon, we are best friends. It’s not like I’ve never seen a dick before in my life." You rolled your eyes. "I'm not going to judge you, I promise. Just let me see."

"Fine." Jungkook sighed. "But… I’m not hard now.” He muttered.

“Will my boobs make you hard?“

“Hell yeah. You got great tits." He said, a bit too enthusiastic, as if he had been dreaming of the day you’d offer your tits in return to see his cock. You stood right in front of him, loosening the straps of your halter top. His mouth was slightly open, as he looked at you, completely mesmerized. You removed the straps from your shoulders and let the shirt fall to your tummy, revealing your breasts.

"Like what you see?" You teased.

"Yeah. Very much." He was nearly drooling at the sight.

"Want to touch them?"

"Fuck, yeah." He nodded, eager. You stepped closer and his hands were instantly on you. Squeezing your breasts, rubbing his thumbs on your nipples, taking it all in. When he was done caressing your tits with his hands, he started to suck and lick on them, at which you moaned softly, and the sound of it made him rock hard. He was definitely huge, you could see the tent forming on his pants.

"Are you sure you want to see it? It's… quite big." He was almost apologetic, as if his huge dick was some sort of inconvenience for others.

“I do, show me already.” You chuckled, not sure what he was being shy for.

"Okay." He nodded, unbuckling his belt, and lowering his jeans, together with his boxers.

Holy shit.

How was a dick that big even possible? You didn't even think that dicks like that actually existed. And it wasn't just long, but also thick. No wonder his ex broke up with him. You were pretty sure that dick wouldn't fit anywhere.

"Wow." You couldn't believe your eyes.

"Told you. It's big. You wouldn’t believe me." He shrugged.

"Can I touch it?" You asked, still unable to avert your eyes.

"If you want." He agreed, a little surprised but not put off by the idea.

You grabbed his dick and slowly moved your hand up and down his length, marveling at how big and heavy it was, how thick. His cock was truly impressive, and it seemed to get even bigger as you stroked him. You wondered what it would be like to take him.

“Wow. This is amazing. How can you fit this inside a girl?" You were truly impressed, and couldn't help but keep stroking his cock.

"I can't." He admitted, his breathing starting to quicken. “No girl can take it, they always start out confident but when it’s actually in… they can't take it. Not even halfway through. I have never met a girl that can take me all the way, even the ones that brag about having experience are not able to." He sounded dejected.

"I bet I can." You challenged him.

"No. You can't. There's no way." He scoffed. All of the girls said the exact same thing, and it never worked out, ever.

“Want to bet? If I can’t take it, I’ll give you 200 bucks.” You said, not convinced by his pessimism.

"200 dollars? That's a lot of money." He said, surprised by your proposal, but he shrugged. “But alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

—

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

“If you ask me one more time… I will leave." You said, annoyed.

"Sorry. Just don’t want to hurt you." He apologized with a defeated sigh. It made you feel bad for getting annoyed, but Jungkook really had nothing to worry about.

You got this.

Jungkook held onto his cock as he pushed the head of it against your slick pussy lips. Your body tensed a bit, but he took his time, working on you slowly. You breathed deeply and relaxed, spreading your legs further as his shaft dragged against your sensitive skin. His cock was so hard and thick that it rubbed against every single inch of your folds.

Jungkook continued to move his hips back and forth, his errection dragging against your clit with each thrust. The sensation was amazing, and your body was trembling in pleasure, and he wasn’t even in yet.

The tip poked against your lower belly as he continued to rub the shaft against your pussy, his hips moving slow and steady.

“Want it.” You whined.

“Yeah?” He whispered.

"Yeah."

He lined himself up with your entrance, pressing the head against it. You tilted your head back, fuck, that was only the head, how could you feel this full already?

Jungkook began to slide his cock into your wet, aching pussy. His cock was stretching you out so wide, it felt incredible. He stopped when the head was all the way in, giving you a moment to adjust. Jungkook slowly pushed his cock deeper inside you, inch by inch. You could feel his cock filling up every inch of you, the stretch and pressure so intense, it was almost too much.

"Shit, you’re stretching me so good…” You moaned, as his cock kept going deeper.

"How are you taking it so well? I can't believe you can take it this far, pussy takes big cock so good, baby." He pushed in more, eager to fill you with every inch.

You couldn't speak, the sensations were overwhelming. It felt like your pussy was being stretched to its limits, and there was a pressure deep inside you that made your mind go blank.

Jungkook's cock was buried all the way inside you now. You were filled up completely, and it was the most amazing feeling you'd ever experienced.

"Don’t move,” It felt as if he would rip you in two if he pulled out even a little bit. "Not yet. Give me a minute." You whimpered, as you adjusted to his length and girth.

Jungkook nodded, kissing your neck, his hands cupping your breasts.

“This is how pussy feels, huh? Fuck, this is amazing. So tight, warm, perfect." He whispered against your ear, as he kept his dick deep inside. “It’s like my cock is being choked and squeezed, so good.”

“Told you… I could take it.” You said in a shaky breath, sitting up only to peek at where your bodies were joined, impressed to see how your body managed to take that monster cock in.

“You can move now." You gave him permission.

Jungkook started to move his hips back and forth.

The pressure from his dick was too intense, it felt like you were being split open, and you thought you were going to pass out from how good it felt. You held in your breath, unable to moan as you tilted your head back and closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his cock stretching you wide.

Whereas you were silent, Jungkook was grunting, groaning, panting, moaning, he couldn’t contain his pleasure. Jungkook was overwhelmed by the feeling of being buried deep inside you. His thrusts were slow and deep, his cock pushing against your inner walls, massaging them.

You opened your eyes and glanced at his face, he looked like he was in ecstasy, his mouth was open and he was moaning with every thrust.

His cock felt incredible, so big, so deep.

You had never felt anything like it before.

"I can't believe I'm fucking a pussy that can take my whole cock. Shit, it feels amazing. Pussy is so tight and wet. So fucking good. Never felt anything like it. Fuck!” Jungkook licked his bottom lip, picking up the pace.

Jungkook was pounding you now, his cock thrusting in and out of your dripping pussy, hitting all the right spots. Fuck, you were seeing stars, your whole body was on fire.

You couldn't stop yourself from screaming in pleasure. You spread your legs as far as you possible could, allowing him to thrust even deeper into you. Jungkook continued his relentless rhythm, his thrusts were hard and fast, the sounds of his cock slamming into your pussy filled the room.

The feeling of his dick filling you up was indescribable, it was pure bliss.

“Want to ride you, want to sit on that cock." You needed to feel in control, and you wanted him to watch you as you sat on his massive dick.

Jungkook pulled out and laid down on the bed, his dick standing straight up, and you couldn’t wait to take it all again.

You straddled his hips, hovering above his erection and you slowly lowered yourself down onto his cock, gasping as it slid into you, the pressure and friction sending waves of pleasure through your body.

Jungkook's hands were on your ass, helping you move up and down on his cock. He was thrusting his hips upward, matching your rhythm, driving his dick even deeper into you.

"God, you look so hot riding my cock. Never would’ve thought to see this.” He bit his lip, his eyes roaming over your body.

"So big…” All you could think of was how his cock felt inside of you, how shallow it might sound… you couldn’t even think of the person attached to it.

Jungkook was now holding onto your hips, pulling you down harder onto his dick. His thrusts were strong, and fast, and it felt so fucking good.

"Fuck, I can't last any longer. Gonna cum soon." His thrusts became erratic and he was moaning loudly, his whole body shaking. You rested your hands on his chest, grinding against him, trying to match his rhythm.

"Y/N… like that, love it just like that." He moaned, his breathing unsteady, his fingers now gripping into your thighs.

“Yes, yes…” You whispered, riding his cock, feeling your own orgasm build up inside of you.

“Ah!” Jungkook beat you to it, his body stiffened as his cum spurted inside of you, filling you up. He was gasping for air, his face was flushed, and his grip on your hips loosened, he ran his fingers through his hair as he squirted his cum deep inside of you. It was as if he had a never ending supply of cum, shooting spurt after spurt, his cock throbbing as it emptied its load inside you.

“Keep going, y/n, you didn’t come yet, I’ll stay hard, take what you need, keep going." He encouraged, his breathing still shaky, his dick was still hard, and it was pulsating inside you.

"Yeah." You whispered, continuing to bounce on his dick, the feeling of his cum inside of you and the sight of him beneath you, sweaty, breathing hard, his hair sticking to his forehead, was so incredibly sexy. The sound of your drenched in cum pussy sucking him back in was loud, his cock coated in your juices and the cum that was spilling out of you was bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

You leaned back, resting your hands on his thighs as you moved up and down, faster, deeper, until you were finally climaxing, your orgasm taking over your body. Your body shook and your eyes fluttered open and shut as the warmth spread through your whole body, you had never felt anything like it before. You could feel the hot cum leaking out of you, and it just kept coming.

Your hips slowed as you rode out your orgasm, and when it was over, you collapsed onto the bed, panting.

“Jungkook?”

“Yeah?”

“You owe me 200 bucks.”

[joelsgoldrush]

“you can use my skin to bury secrets in” | 6.8k

old man!logan x f!reader

SUMMARY: Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his brain. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?” OR Logan had always known your generosity would get him in trouble. WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ cursing. drinking. pining. mentions of alcohol. dirty talk. age gap (reader's in her late 20s). logan’s POV. angst/self-deprecation (he just needs a little loving). religious imagery. feelings. petnames. chauffeur!logan. oral sex (m receiving, tiny bit of f receiving). sort of dom!logan. doggy style. unprotected p in v. creampie. A/N: i could say i'm sorry for this, but i'm not. love love love this old man (#needthat). heavily inspired by the song "i know" by fiona apple. @lubdubology my partner in crime who keeps putting up with me, tysm!!! hope you all enjoy it <3

The line between being a good and bad person is thin. So thin, in fact, that Logan finds himself stepping back and forth across it constantly.

Rescuing a kitten from a tree? Good.

Punching a guy at a bar because he didn’t feel like being acknowledged? Bad.

Saving countless lives from mass destruction? Good—heroic, even.

But killing others to do it? Bad—condemnable, scum of the earth.

Where does that leave him? Which side has laid claim to his soul? He’s long accepted he’ll never see the pearly gates.

When the day comes that his body can no longer take it, and he only grows wearier, he’s pretty sure there’s a special place in hell with his name on it, etched in some grave awaiting to be filled.

Maybe Satan’s already counting down the days until he shows up at his door, who knows?

Yet, the more time passes by, the less afraid he is of what lies beneath the surface. He’s learned to coexist with the darkness, with the kind of pain and loneliness that would crush most men.

He doesn’t know how, but he survives it—the agony, the memories, the solitude that hits him from time to time.

And still, he doesn't lose himself entirely. He’s tempted, of course, to linger in the past—it’s always easier to drown there.

If he could go back, he knows he wouldn’t be alone in choosing that path. Some days, it feels like the only option.

But there’s no you in his past.

Logan inhales sharply when your tongue teases his slit, lapping at the precum pooling there. You hum at the taste, your hand resting on his bare thigh, fingers pressing into his skin. Your other hand lazily strokes the length of him, working the inches your mouth can’t take.

It’s clear you’re enjoying this. He can tell from the way your lashes flutter each time he thrusts a little deeper into your slick warmth. A win-win situation.

Letting a girl like you do this to him? That’s bad. Very bad. Red flags all around.

He meets you when he least expects it.

It’s a night like any other. He’s been driving for God knows how long. His joints ache from being in the same position for hours, and a part of his left knee he didn’t even know could hurt begins to throb.

It takes everything in him not to call it quits for the night, not to turn around and head home like a coward.

When exactly his life fell into this monotonous cycle, he’s not entirely sure, but it happened somewhere along the way. Now, it’s all the same: taking care of Charles during the day, catching an hour or two of sleep, then gripping the steering wheel with white-knuckled intensity, driving through endless stretches of road, resisting any attempts at small talk from the passengers he chauffeurs around.

They all try—every single one of them. They think if they can crack his harsh and bitter exterior, he’ll open up, reveal something, anything to make their eyes go wide.

But why? Why do they insist on breaking through his shell? What do they hope to discover?

No one really cares what’s going on in his mind. They just want to feel good about themselves—like they’ve been kind, amiable, empaths intending to fill some empty and obscure corner of their own lives.

Logan refuses to be the person who grants them that satisfaction.

You slip into the backseat of his limo, closing the door with a soft click. The night clings to you, the scent of the bar still lingering on your clothes. The music is loud enough for him to hear from outside, and he sees the people lined up at the door, willing to cause a fight if it means securing a good time.

There's a slight frown tugging at your features, your lips pulled downward, though your voice is still polite when you blurt out your address.

Five minutes into the drive and you haven’t said a word. Internally, he’s savoring the silence, so happy he could jump on one foot.

This kind of peace is rare. He’d grown unaccustomed to it. The tension in his shoulders eases as the city lights blur past.

But, all good things come to an end, because—

“How’s your night going?” you ask, fiddling with the seatbelt to have something between your fingers. Logan glances at you through the mirror, his eyes catching yours just for a moment, long enough to see the faint, apologetic smile you offer him. He allows himself a heartbeat more to take you in before focusing back on the road.

You click your tongue, a soft sound of disapproval ringing in his ears. “Well, thank you.”

He lets out a quiet huff, grinding his teeth together. “I’d prefer if we stayed like we were before,” he mutters, his voice rough and gravelly. His attention flickers between the passing cars and the occasional glimpses of you that startle him every time he searches for the mirror. Cars. You. Cars. You. You. You. “Y’know, not talking.”

“But that’s no fun at all,” you retort, sliding more to your left, nearly positioning yourself in the middle of the backseat. It gives him a better view of you—whether intentional or not, he can’t say.

The lipstick on your lips is still flawless. A sparkly necklace glints just above the neckline of your dress, and matching earrings dangle from your ears. Wrapped in a leather jacket, you look effortlessly alluring.

This entire sequence is enough to confirm that by no means is he going to heaven. Straight to hell, he thinks, allowing his gaze to trace over each detail of your frame. Straight to hell.

You don’t give up. “Your aura is off.”

That prompts a crooked smirk from him, a shake of his head as he mumbles under his breath: “M’sorry, my what’s off?”

“Your aura,” you clarify, motioning toward him with a light jingle from the many bracelets adorning your wrist. “It’s the energy that surrounds you.”

Logan snorts, amused for a brief second. “Well, you weren’t exactly a beacon of life when you got in either.”

You chuckle softly, leaning back against the seat and looking out the window. “I’m much better now.” A pause before you continue, your tone shifting, losing strength. “My date stood me up. Last-minute cancellation.”

It’s not anger, nor is it disappointment, that laces your words. You seem more resigned than anything else. He’d have expected you to sound at least a bit more conflicted.

“I should’ve seen it coming. He’d been asking to move it forward for a while.”

Does he look like the type of driver who doubles as a therapist? He wishes he could understand why you're telling him all this.

“That sucks,” he still responds, because even though he hasn’t gone out with a woman in what feels like centuries, he understands that sensation all too well. “First time meeting him?”

Listen up, everyone—he’s genuinely engaging in conversation with another soul. This doesn’t happen often.

He hears you hum, eyes still trained on the outside world. You sigh, crossing your arms over your torso. “Would you mind rolling your window up? I’m kind of freezing here.”

“I’d mind that very much,” he says, his voice carrying its usual gruff edge. He fights the urge to grin, but then you unbuckle your seatbelt, leaning in closer to him. Your body is wedged between his seat and the passenger’s, and he perceives your stare boring into his side profile. “Put your seatbelt back on.” 

“You’re fucking with me.” Your finger taps his shoulder once, twice. “First, I get all dolled up for an idiot who bails on me, and now you have the nerve to make fun of me? Give me a break.”

Your eyes stay on him, a smile plastered on your face, anticipating any possible answer.

Crack, crack, crack—you intend to break through his shell, watching him from the front row, waiting for the moment it gives way.

Before you can say more, he cuts you off. “Seatbelt.”

It’s a command, an instruction, and you comply without hesitation.

Warmth pools and stirs low in his gut as he notes how quickly you obey him. 

Would you still look at him like that if you knew the blood he’s scrubbed off his hands? The flesh that his claws have shredded? The names of the lives he’s taken?

Would your warm gaze turn cold, filled with dread instead of curiosity?

Maybe this is hell. Are you the Devil in disguise, tempting him to cross a line he won’t be able to come back from?

A few minutes later, he pulls up to your building. A really nice one, he notes. You announce you live on the sixth floor. He doesn’t need to know that, does he? Why would you tell him that? Why give that piece of information to a complete stranger?

You linger in the backseat, as though you’re expecting him to turn and look at you. And he does, though not for the reason you might expect. “You got everything?”

Eager and full of life, you nod, clutching your purse to your chest. You avert your gaze to read his ID tag, the one that contains his personal details. “James?”

“Glad you can read,” he utters, pulling out a small bottle of liquor from under the seat. He drains it all in one go, savoring the fleeting burn as it slides down his throat, which is enough to keep him going. “C’mon, kid. I already charged you.”

“You drink while you drive?”

“Keeps me entertained,” he says dryly. It’s the only thing he knows how to do. Raising the empty bottle in your direction, he arches a brow. “Goodnight, darlin’. Leave me a good review on your way out.”

You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.” 

For a couple of days, you don’t bother him again. Bother—notice the implication of the verb in question.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think of you after that drive. Each time his phone buzzes, a small, restless part of him hopes it’s you, asking for his services, wanting him to be the one you seek out.

And it happens. The best things seem to occur when the moon hangs high and bright.

You: Hi.

He stares at the message, recognition washing over him. He knows it’s you; he can see the other texts you exchanged that night he took you home.

You: Are you working tonight?

You’ve got to be kidding him.

Logan: Why are you texting me?

He types the words with frustration, his thumb hovering over the screen longer than usual. 

You: Why are you answering me?

Oh, you’re smart. 

Logan: Take my advice. Talk to a guy your own age.

You: Damn. Already jumping to conclusions. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to have a drink with me.

Logan: I’m busy.

You: Well, what time do you get off?

Logan: I work all night.

You: Can’t even make a quick stop? I swear it won’t take you more than twenty minutes.

An impulse to throw his phone out the window surges within him, but he manages to restrain himself.

Then, as if on cue, the device vibrates again—of course, it’s you.

You: The drinks are on me. Let me know if you change your mind.

Do you think he’s going to let you pay for him? Absolutely not. 

What surprises him more than the message is how easily he remembers your address. It appears to be ingrained in his mind.

He cancels his next trip, scheduled for ten minutes from now, his new destination being your building.

Once he pulls up, he does what feels most natural: he honks. Multiple times. Maybe he’s lucky and you’ll tell him to fuck off.

But you don’t. You’re laughing as you make your way over to the limo, sliding into the backseat in the same way you did a week ago. Your plan had succeeded—you had him exactly where you wanted.

Far from hiding it, you make it evident, obvious. Your heartbeat thrums in the air, and Logan can hear it loud and clear, like the bass in one of those funky songs he likes.

There’s no room for mistakes. He won’t deny it. Even if the feeling is mutual, he can’t shake the idea that he’s doing something wrong.

In his eyes, you’re the forbidden fruit—irresistible, the ultimate temptation known to humankind, camouflaged in the fur of a pretty woman.

You, his paradise on earth, could only lead to one thing: a longing for a chance with you, which he should never be granted in the first place.

He’s diving headfirst into disgrace, and the more he realizes it, the worse it feels. If he were to be scolded like a child, maybe he’d feel relieved, but he’s no kid. He’s a grown-ass man who should be able to resist.

Yet, self-restraint is like sand slipping through his fingers—never lasting long enough.

“You came.” Astonishment. Uncertainty. Amusement. Blinking your eyes at him, you sit very upright, and you don't even bother fastening your seatbelt. “Honestly? I thought you were going to block me.”

I can’t, he thinks. I wouldn’t be able to. I’m not that strong.

“What happened this time? Another failed date?” he inquires, still not starting the car. A look of perplexity appears on your features, puzzled about why he’s not moving. “Ain’t you forgetting something?” He tugs on his own seatbelt for emphasis, the fabric snapping back into place against his coat.

Once again, you follow his lead. “I don’t need to get stood up to want to see you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder for balance—or so he tells himself. It takes him all his willpower not to collapse right then and there. “Besides, I’m not bad company. I’ve been told I can be pretty funny.” 

“I see…” he trails off, catching your gaze through the rearview mirror, not shocked in the slightest to find you waiting for him to look back. “Where to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you should. You invited me.”

How easy it is to make your chest rumble with laughter, the genuine sound bubbling up, pure and unrestrained. He feels like some amateur comedian who has just realized his real passion is to cause this type of response in others.

Except, it’s not just anyone’s laughter he insists on provoking—it’s yours, and yours alone.

An unsettling sensation envelops him the second you retrieve your hand, not before squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner. “There’s a bar I go to with my friends sometimes,” you suggest after a beat, shoving your phone in the pocket of your jacket. “We could try that one.”

The moment he steps inside, regret washes over him. Why is everyone here under forty? He feels ancient, like fucking Fred Flintstone.

A fossil out of place, meant to dwell in the shadows, not in a scene like this.

When he freezes in the middle of the bar, your fingers intertwine with his, tugging him along, and he follows after you like a lost puppy. The only thing he’s missing is the leash.

You’re met with his quirked eyebrows as you peer into his eyes over your shoulder, a toothy grin threatening to shake the floor beneath his feet. “You know, people usually sit down before they start getting shit-faced.”

“I’m not getting drunk tonight.” Logan exhales a deep breath, trying to hide his discomfort, his eyes scanning the room. “And neither are you,” he practically yells in your ear trying to make himself heard above the pounding music and incessant chatter. He wonders if you even hear him at all.

The two of you eventually settle at the counter, drinking in silence. Logan half-expects one of your comments to pierce through the quiet, but you delight in proving him wrong.

Instead, your head sways gently to the rhythm of the song playing in the background, and you take a trial sip of your beer.

He’s acutely aware of the stares from the rest of the patrons. He can pretend to be oblivious, but the weight of several pairs of eyes burning holes into the back of his neck doesn’t go unnoticed.

Being watched has never been his favorite pastime, and somehow, it feels even more uncomfortable with you by his side.

He knows what those looks imply, can nearly taste the hidden implications behind each fleeting glance.

What’s a girl like you doing with a man like him? A question that makes no sense.

Does he have money? A well-endowed reputation? Did he recently inherit any properties?

Are you truly that desperate for human contact?

Is your bed so cold that you decide to go for the first guy who can string ten words together?

Logan doubts whether this whole experiment is part of the community service you must be doing. Maybe he should look up your name online to see if any criminal records come to the surface.

Now that he takes a moment to ponder it, you certainly fit the mold of the criminal type. The kind who gets what she wants when she wants it, leaving a trail of intrigue on her wake.

His fingers circle the glass so tightly he fears it might shatter into a million shards. You notice his tension, nudging his arm with yours, aiming to meet his eyes.

When you do (because, as he said, criminals have their own ways), you smile, and he internalizes that gesture as something familiar, something he feels he’s grown used to. Something rankled in his memory.

It’s as if he’s known you for a lifetime.

“Thank you for coming,” you say softly, and he may be going down the path of hallucinations,  but your attention remains a little too long on his lips. Then, just as quickly, it flickers back to the rest of his face, and you lean back to drink from your beer once more.

Straight to hell, he thinks, tasting the remnants of whiskey on his tongue, for ever daring to believe himself worthy of even a moment of your precious time.

You’re probably the first person to have his full, undivided attention. And that’s… well, that’s saying something.

Most days, you’re pretty talkative, a steady stream of conversation, your words pouring out in an endless flow.

You tell him about your family, your career, that pet of yours that died when you were six years old. You mention a friend you no longer speak to, and the events that led to the downfall of your friendship.

There’s also that dish from your all-time favorite restaurant, the one you buy at least once a week because it never fails to comfort you.

Nonstop, you talk and talk, and Logan doesn’t mind one bit. Soon, he finds himself becoming an active listener—asking follow-up questions, chuckling at your jokes, even when they’re not funny at all.

He sincerely cares about what you have to say.

This whole situation with you is beyond his comprehension. Before he realizes it, you start wanting to spend more time with him.

Sometimes, you ride along in the passenger seat while he drives aimlessly through the city.

Sometimes, you invite him over, cook a meal, and he always takes the leftovers with him, as if a part of you goes with him when he leaves.

Sometimes, you come over to his place, and the roles reverse—you’re the one with the mic, asking the questions, fully aware that you’re treading on holy ground. 

Logan’s got a sign on his forehead that reads ‘Stop: do not enter.’ It’s rough around the edges, hardened by the years, all capital letters in stark blank ink. But in the end, you just take the sign and set it aside.

He never goes into too much detail. Not because he doesn’t trust you—it’s just that there’s too much to unpack, and you don’t need to know all of it. You’ll be better off not carrying the garbage he does.

Yet, you’ve got him by the throat, encouraging him to cough up disjoined pieces of his life, bits of his day, his thoughts, his feelings. It sounds stupid to him, but you make him feel alive. 

You never judge him, never flinch when he brings up stories from his past. As he sits at your table one afternoon, you look at his hands, his claws fully extended, and you don’t shy away. You rub the pad of your thumb across the rough skin of his knuckles, right where the adamantium tears through his flesh.

You don’t care that he’s a mutant, that he’s killed people. You don’t try to deny who he is or what he’s done. Oddly enough, you just wish to be by his side, staring off into the void with him. 

“But why?” he asks, partly flattered, partly frustrated. This could be compared to learning a new sport from scratch—he can’t figure you out, can’t understand why you haven’t run the other way yet.

He likes your company, though he’s always bracing himself for the inevitable day you find a better hobby and leave.

Your reasoning defies logic, and he’s afraid that at any moment, you’ll grasp the gravity of your choices.

Almost as if you could feel the turmoil brewing in his mind, you simply say: “You’re nice to be around.”

Nice. Nice. Nice. He’d cackle if he were alone. That word reverberates through him. When was the last time someone called him nice?

Bad-tempered, sure.

A pain in the ass? Definitely.

But nice? Not a term people employed to describe him.

It’s a quality reserved for you, with your endless charisma and kind heart, but not for a man of his kind.

He’s nothing more than a chauffeur, a driver, someone who does and says what’s necessary to survive. Does that make him nice? 

When he tells you he’s probably going to hell, you don’t try to make him feel better. Anyone else in your position might try to soothe him, to offer some hollow reassurance.

Your intention isn’t to change him, for him to pretend to be something he’s not. “Then I’ll meet you there,” you mutter, your shiny eyes searing into his. Under the table, your hand finds his, tender fingers grazing over his knuckles, and for once, he doesn’t pull away.

Could it be that an afterlife catching fire doesn’t sound so bad after all?

As much as he likes to admit how easily you can shift his mood, today is not one of those days.

He’s had a nightmare—nothing new, but this one had been… different. The empty bottle on the nightstand hadn’t been of any help; it never does when they visit him in his sleep.

The ghosts of those who used to be his friends, his family, tiptoe around his dreams in the form of shadows.

Blood. Screams. Shouts of his name. He can’t save them all. Walking through the wreckage, he dodges the bodies of those he couldn’t protect, the knot in his throat tightening with every step, not allowing him to breathe.

Wherever he turns, there’s death, destruction. Sadness. Did he save them all?

It’s always the same routine. He wakes up, screaming, chest aching from the effort. His lungs burn, and he has to remind himself that the limbs attached to him are his own and not the remnants of an immobile corpse.

Sweat clings to his skin, pooling at his temples and nape. He wipes it away with the back of his hand, rubbing at the soreness in his neck.

His phone rings somewhere in the distance, pulling him from his dizzy state. He scrambles to his feet, accepting the call just before it hits voicemail.

It's you. Despite it being late, he swears he feels the gentle kiss of the sun over his brow. Your sweet voice chases away the lingering shadows of his dreams, replacing the bitter taste in his mouth with something real—a reason to get up, to start moving.

He holds onto every second of the brief call, replaying those thirty seconds in his head as he steps into the shower. When the cold water shocks his system, it pulls him fully back to consciousness. He has to get ready.

Even though you insist on getting a taxi, he refuses. He doesn’t mind the drive. His gas tank does, his wallet maybe, but Logan? He just doesn’t.

At the end of the day, he’s protective by nature, and who knows what kind of men are roaming the streets at night?

God forbid they’re anything like him—eager to prompt a smile from you, trying too hard to impress you. He arrives at the conclusion that he’d rather lose fuel and money if it means orbiting around you for longer.

You make him feel better, and tonight, he needs it more than ever. He needs you.

(Now he’s driving. He honks five times when he pulls up to your building. You get on the limo, giggling as you say: “My neighbors must hate you.” He grins. You kiss him on the cheek. Subtle. Not the first time. Still, it doesn’t get old. He feels the faint residue of lip gloss on his skin. He doesn’t wipe it off.)

Not in the mood to cook, you declare as you step into his place. The mouth-watering aroma of the Chinese food you bought fills the air, but when he reaches for the bags, you insist that he sit and relax.

Sure, he can take a seat. But to expect him to relax with you around, playing this intricate game? That’s simply impossible. You’re asking for too much. He’s a player at heart, drawn to the thrill of the chase, and he will play along.

What seems inconceivable is the expectation that he can act as if nothing is happening between these four walls.

His attempts to focus on you are futile, as his mind betrays him tonight. All he hears spilling from your lips is pure and plain gibberish. Your very presence is no longer enough to anchor him.

Already immune to your charm, Logan eats his noodles, occasionally nodding when your voice rises at the end of a sentence, indicating a question.

But he nearly chokes on his drink the moment he registers your serious expression, having never witnessed you like this before.

“Are you even here?” you ask, shoving your food aside with a swift motion of your wrist.

What should he answer? What is it that you want to hear? Of course! I’m here, listening to you. It’s a delightful night. Should I start by telling you about my most recent nightmare? Quite the entertainment!

There’s a shake of his head as he lowers his gaze, escaping your concerned expression. “M’sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty.” You tug your chair forward, claiming a piece of his personal space. You know he doesn’t mind. “Want to talk about it? Did something happen?”

“My brain is just… off today.”

“Many thoughts at the same time.” Not a question. Have you completely figured him out?

“Yeah.”

He remains still, dragging his plastic fork across the now-cold steamed veggies, which have lost their appeal.

How amusing—your knees bump against his, drawing his attention. “Can I help you?” It’s new, the breathy tone you’re using, a whisper of agitation weaving through your calm demeanor. 

“Can you erase my memory?” he shoots back, attempting to smirk through the wave of memories that flash behind his eyelids. When he looks into your eyes, the siren in his head blares.

Your pupils are dilated, blown wide, chest rising and falling rapidly. Sweaty palms that you wipe on your jeans. Tongue darting out to lick your lips. Your heartbeat accelerates, drumming wildly like the fluttering of a hummingbird’s wings.

He hasn’t been with a woman in ages, but he knows how they react when they see something they like—or, in this case, someone.

“Logan.” His name rolls off your tongue once more, tinged with an unmistakable need. The thought of checking his temperature dances through his mind, but the heaviness in his limbs roots him in place. He feels feverish. “I want to help you.”

Oh, no. No, no, no, no—

“What—what are you on, sweetheart?” Get up. Find your keys. Drive her home. “You don’t even know what you’re sayin’.”

Saliva floods his mouth as you rise to your feet, looking down at him from above. Gracefully angelic, and yet— “I know what I’m asking for,” you continue, your voice descending to a low murmur that scratches pleasantly against some dark and remote corner of his head. Then you lower yourself onto his lap, your thighs bracketing his waist. You repeat your question: “Can I help you?”

He’s no longer in control of his actions. His right hand crawls up your knee, palming the fabric of your pants. It’s numbing: a lapful of you, your rich smell, your quickened pulse.

Tempting. So fucking tempted to take you right now, just like this, without the need for words. Your bodies can communicate in a language of their own, one that transcends spoken phrases. 

I want you, he lets you know through the way he gropes your breasts over your shirt, squeezing them together. He’s always been good with his hands. But what the hell am I supposed to do with a sweet thing like you?

His patience teeters on the edge of a precipice. “Tell me what you want.”

“I asked you first.”

“You’re gonna pretend you don’t know the answer?” He thrusts into the air, grinding against your clothed core, and you close your eyes. He’s rock hard beneath you, the bulge in his jeans shockingly obscene, bordering on grotesque. “We both know what I want, but I’m no telepath, baby. Need you to speak up.”

Twisting the locks of hair at his nape, you press your lips to his neck. “I want to make you forget, to focus on this moment. I want you to live in the present, Logan.” A bite on his earlobe sends shivers down his spine, and he grips your hips with a primal growl. “I can do whatever you want. Just tell me. Tell me, and I’ll do it, please.”

Please? He’s spiraling. Please? That’s it—he’s doing it. He’ll grant you your plea, which aligns perfectly with his own desires.

Once his back meets the mattress in his room, you get to work. With delicate precision, you pull down his pants, sliding his boxers off until only his thick thighs and the crown of short curls adorning his cock remain in sight. Your fingers tremble slightly before you wrap them loosely around his length, and it springs to life in your grasp.

Your gaze pierces into his, mirroring the intensity of his own. But something holds you back, prompting you to reach for his hand.

At that moment, it all clicks into place. Logan urges your head down onto him, and he’s welcomed by the slick warmth you provide.

Indeed, he’s very much alive.

“That’s it. That’s—fuck. There you go.” 

His fingers dig into the mattress, clutching the cotton sheets, stopping himself from thrusting into your mouth. It’s not that he doesn’t want to—God, he does—but tonight, he’s on his best behavior.

He wipes the trail of drool from your chin, smearing it gently across your cheek, his thumb lingering as he watches your nostrils flare with a strained, muffled gasp.

Bringing his thumb to his mouth, he tastes the wetness on it the same way you’re sucking him: greedily, without any trace of mercy.

This proves I’m going to hell, he thinks, enraptured by the sight of his cock disappearing between your parted lips. Straight to hell.

You draw him back to the present, nuzzling your face against his thigh, your humid breath teasing his thick shaft, pulling him from a deep reverie. Your glossy eyes roam, exploring until they find his, and you gift him an authentic smile. Wrecked and blissed out, it’s as if the lights are on, but no one’s truly home.

He would’ve never guessed how much you reveled in sucking cock, radiating enthusiasm with each of your movements.

“Am I doing it okay?” you wonder aloud, hovering over the tip, swirling your tongue around the velvety head. He’s no fool, and neither are you; deep down, you know you’re doing more than just okay. Actually, you’re giving him the best blowjob of his long, long life.

Each panting, airy praise he huffs fuels your eagerness, making you even more receptive to his desires as the words slip past his lips.

“Fuckin’ amazing, honey. Got me so hard, y’see?” His tone is heavily charged with carnality, gripping himself and smacking the tip against your mouth, the wet sound echoing like music to his ears.

He pulses against your tongue, and you seize the opportunity to trace the thin veins scattered along his length. Gulping, with his gaze fixed on you, Logan notices how you’re still wearing your clothes, wiggling your hips against the mattress, rubbing your thighs together to get something in return. “Are you wet?”

Humming against him, you suck in shaky breath. 

“Words.”

“I’m—I’m wet,” you rasp, voice hoarse. You try to guide him into your mouth and fail miserably, because his grip only tightens, stroking himself instead. “Logan,” you keen, stretching your neck in a silent plea, “don’t be mean.”

“Not mean. Just enjoyin’ myself,” he replies, pulling the foreskin back to expose the head, arching his eyebrows. His fingers curl around your chin, drawing your face nearer to his girth, fascinated by how your eyes flutter shut the more you surrender to the pleasure. “C’mon. Be polite.”

Blame him for it—he believes he’ll never get tired of this game.

“Please.” You whisper, returning to your begging while tenderly rolling his balls, staring at him through your lashes. And then you say it again: “Please.”

Your gaze burns a hole through his crumpled heart. He lets you have it, eager to give whatever you may ask him for. You dive back into it, engulfing his length and bobbing your head up and down with fervor. Hushed whines escape your lips, savoring another bead of his precum.

Logan almost loses it as you hollow your cheeks, instinctively cradling the back of your head. “Easy, baby. M’not going anywhere. Take your time.”

Whenever he feels himself approaching that long-awaited release, he forces his mind to conjure thoughts that will stall his impending orgasm.

The water stains from flooding on the walls.

The supermarket list.

The rising price of gas.

The—

“Fuck. Slow down,” he groans, utterly captivated by the way you point your tongue to draw imaginary patterns along his cock, seemingly memorizing every detail. “Don’t go too hard on me, remember?”

You mumble something under your breath, and at first, he can’t quite make it out. “What is it?”

“I said I want you to fuck me.”

Under no circumstances is he surviving this night.

“Really, doll?” Logan seeks the reassurance he desperately needs, fearing that this is all a dream from which he’ll awaken the moment he properly touches you. “You sure you want this old man to fuck you?”

You’re a rambling mess, murmuring Yes, Logan, please, until he maneuvers you to lie on his chest, his glistening cock sliding against your clothes, leaving a trail of dark spots. A whimper dies on your tongue as you brush your lips together, your hot breath enveloping him. “Give me a kiss at least.”

Tilting your head up, he connects his mouth to yours, growling as he detects the dull, sour tang of what must be him. He sucks your bottom lip, hardly aware of what his hands are doing until he shifts your positions, pinning you down.

Logan tugs at your clothes, peeling them away with urgency, his fingers dancing over your nipples until you’re grinding against his thigh, quivering beneath him. With a nip at your damp skin, his eyes flutter open as he studies your expression, casting you a glance that seeks your permission.

A ripple of desire courses through him when you dutifully turn over beneath him, pressing your face further into the pillow. He runs his knuckles along the curve of your ass, his throat going dry as you follow after his touch, arching your body in response.

Unable to resist the temptation any longer, he licks a long, slow stripe up your wet folds, keeping his tongue flat against your clit for a brief moment. Your arms give out and you stumble forward, stuttering as you mewl his name, fully consumed by the feeling.

So he does it again, and again, and again, flicking the sensitive bud, even though you’re already beyond soaked. It’s a pleasure he indulges in simply because he can.

Straight to hell, he thinks, coating his length with your arousal, teasing your entrance while pushing in only the tip. That motion alone is enough to make him draw a trembling breath before he continues, gradually feeding you his cock, inch by inch.

Straight to hell, the voice in his head utters as he buries himself to the hilt deep within your body, his heavy balls resting against your ass.

Like an intruder in your territory, he’s free to do as he pleases, and you let him have his way with you.

If only this moment could stretch into infinity—he longs for time to relent and never draw to a close. 

What will happen after? Will you spend the night? Does he—

“L-Logan,” you mumble, having adjusted to his size. You rock back into him, impaling yourself even more on his cock. “Please, move.”

The pace he establishes is brutal. Your warm, inner walls exquisitely massage him, and the earth as he knows it stops spinning. Fire pools low in his abdomen, his hands holding you by the flesh of your hips to keep you anchored, each thrust driving you closer to the headboard with an intoxicating urgency. 

“You wanted it from the very start, didn’t you?” He doesn’t know if a response will ever come, but these kinds of thoughts are impossible to contain. He’s just a simple man, powerless against the allure of a tight cunt. “Just got in my car and knew it would end like this?”

You roll your eyes at him, silent as you exit the vehicle, closing the door behind you. While fumbling for your keys, four words escape your mouth. Casual yet devastating, they ruin him: “I’ll see you around.” 

His next thrust punches a whine out of your lungs. Even as you clench around him, stuffed and filled to the brim, you beg for him to fuck you harder. He would’ve laughed at you were he able to catch his breath.

With a more deliberate rhythm, he rolls his hips, jackhammering your most sensitive spot, pulling you closer as he wraps an arm around you. When his fingers find your clit, drawing slippery circles, a cry escapes you, and your body merges with the mattress under you.

Your release takes him by surprise, urging him to continue as you reach back, encouraging him to chase his own climax. He knows all too well the struggle of bringing you to this point without succumbing to his pleasure too soon. Your nails graze along his thigh, leaving delicate marks in their wake, and somehow, the passion and bliss he’s been nurturing ignites into a fiery crescendo.

Shortly after, he goes completely rigid inside you, pressing his forehead against your back as he bites down on your shoulder to muffle his groans. His hand squeezes your breast tightly, riding out his high, blood buzzing in his ears, continuing to spill into you. You spam around him, milking him until the last drop of his seed, his release painting your insides with his warmth.

Logan tucks you under his chin as his vision returns to clarity. You nose his jaw, your fingers softly tracing the contours of his beard. He pulls you closer into his chest, gliding his hands up and down your back.

Half a minute of dreadful silence, then: “Can I stay?”

Oh, yes—pillow talk. He’s not great at this either. Despite that, his eyes soften, snapping to your face.

Logan pauses for a moment. “Sure,” he retorts, dragging his fingers along your shoulder blades. He’s a one-word kind of guy. Just perfect.

Tell her you like her. Tell her you don’t want this to be a casual fling. Tell her it’s more than just sex for you.

Or maybe don’t. Get ahold of yourself, will you?

“Logan?” you ask, resting your palm against his heart.

“What is it?”

“I know.”

You do?

Try as he might, he can’t deny it. He might care about you more than he ever realized.

dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! <3

[darkmatilda]

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: basically just two bookworms arguing about books and having a s3x right after

𝐚/𝐧: please read the note! so it's only a very short part of my upcoming fanfiction that has...25k words...i'm aware no one is going to read it all soo i'm publishing one of my favorite parts.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 3.1k

Maybe it was that one drink you had, but your legs seemed to take you in a certain direction.

You weren’t sure if Spencer was even home. But if you had nothing else to do, why not check? A short walk. You were a little desperate, after all, you didn’t have anywhere else to go. That’s how you justified it. You were going to him because you had no other option.

He opened the door, dressed in a wrinkled shirt, trousers, and a tie loosely hanging around his neck. His hair was in disarray, and you felt an urge to run your fingers through it and style it the way you wanted, but it would’ve been awkward.

"Hey. Am I interrupting?"

Surprised, Spencer shook his head.

"No... Actually, I was asleep."

"In those clothes?"

"I fell asleep while reading..." he explained, trailing off when he noticed your appearance. To put it modestly, you looked incredibly hot. For a long moment, his gaze lingered on your dress, visible beneath the open jacket and ending high on your thigh. "Very... nice dress. Is it... is it your mom's too?"

You chuckled.

"Can you imagine my mom, a school psychologist, in a dress covering half her ass?"

Embarrassed, Spencer raised his hands in apology and also chuckled softly.

"Sorry, I'm still half-asleep. Anyway... is there something wrong that you're here?"

"My mentally unstable ex-boyfriend of my roommate is lurking under our apartment.” You confessed bluntly “I'm a little scared to go back, and... I didn't know where else I could go."

It seemed like he was suddenly waking up quickly. He swung the door wide open, letting you in.

"Of course, come in. Is he dangerous?"

"He shows up every now and then and then disappears. It's like a lottery. Jude doesn't want to ever see him again, so we just pretend we're not here when it happens."

The inside looked just as you remembered. The lights were off everywhere except the bedroom, where he was probably reading. You allowed yourself to take off your uncomfortable shoes and set them by the door.

"Why don't you report it to the police?" His forehead furrowed with concern.

"Jude doesn't want to. And I don't want to do anything against her will. But I swear, if this happens again, I'll convince her. Or I'll do it myself."

"You should," he said, and suddenly a silence fell between you.

You weren't sure how to act. You'd barged in on him in the middle of the night, pulling him from his sleep. Not to mention, you hadn't seen each other since that conversation at the bar.

"Let me take your jacket," he said after a moment, as if remembering how to behave when hosting a guest.

You slowly took it off, revealing the full dress. Spencer momentarily let his gaze linger on it, but then he caught himself and turned away to hang your jacket. The glance didn't embarrass you in the slightest; if anything, you expected to catch him looking.

"Sorry if I woke you," you said, realizing you should probably apologize. It was only then that you began to feel a little awkward about the situation.

"You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. And I'm glad I can help," he said, and once again, silence settled between you. Spencer placed his hand on his forehead as he realized you were still standing in the hallway. "Sorry, it's been a long time since anyone's visited, and I don't even know how to act... Do you want something to drink, or need anything?"

"I’m fine," you assured him, walking behind him into the living room. "I don't want you to act like I'm some important guest, Spencer. Or like you need to serve me."

"But you are an important guest," he replied.

A warm, gentle smile appeared on your lips.

"What were you reading?" you asked, leaning your lower back against the kitchen island, the two rooms connected as one. You glanced around the cozy interior, in soft, almost warm hues, where the darkness of the night blended with the orange light of the lamp. "Let me guess, some spine-chilling thriller?"

"I have spine-chilling thrillers every day at work," he snorted. "I was reading... Emma. Jane Austen."

Your eyebrows shot up.

"You fell asleep reading classic literature on a Friday night? Spencer Reid, what kind of man are you?"

"In a good way or a bad way?"

He stood across from you, his arms loosely crossed over his chest. Your eyes lingered on the first few undone buttons of his shirt.

"Of course, in a good way. Why would I judge someone for reading?"

"I don’t know," he shrugged. "Some people think it’s boring. And weird, especially on a Friday night. And what about you? What were you doing before your roommate’s ex showed up?" he asked, a playful glint in his eyes as he nodded meaningfully toward your outfit. "Were you reading too?"

You lifted your chin high.

"Exactly. I was reading my favorite Shakespearean drama in my favorite dress. And those incredibly comfortable shoes I left by your door."

"That goes without saying."

"I definitely wasn’t at any club."

"I wouldn’t even suspect you of that."

"I was doing what any God-fearing virgin would do," you said, bursting into laughter at the absurdity. "Alright, alright. I’m getting carried away. Now I actually feel like reading something. But nothing too classic—I don’t have the brainpower for it. Do you happen to have any romance novels?"

I'm afraid not."

"Really? You have more books in your home than the library in my hometown, and not a single romance? I’m not talking about dark erotica or anything—just something subtle. Friends to lovers, polite sex..."

Spencer choked on a laugh.

"Sorry, but are you drunk?"

You were just horny. 

"Not a drop of alcohol has touched my lips. I'm just hyperactive. That’s what the night does to me."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"So? Aren't you hiding any sinful books in there?"

He rolled his eyes, clearly amused rather than annoyed by your persistence.

"You're welcome to look," he offered, gesturing toward one of the shelves. "But I’m not promising you’ll find anything like that."

"But if I do, you owe me a drink."

“And if it turns out I’m right, then what?”

You bit your lip, pondering. 

“I’ll figure something out.”

“You know, I won’t enter a bet unless I know what I get in return.”

“And what do you want?”

“A dinner together,” he replied without hesitation. “Or breakfast, if you prefer.”

“Deal,” you answered just as quickly. You weren’t worried about regretting it—your blood was buzzing too much for that.

He extended his hand for you to shake on it, sealing the deal. Instead of letting go, you held onto his fingers firmly and tugged him toward the bookshelf. He stood so close as you examined the books one by one, taking some out to inspect their covers to see if they suggested any hint of romance. When they didn’t, he let out a short laugh, his breath brushing against your neck and sending a shiver down your spine. You didn’t let it show.

“Spencer…” you started after a while, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. “It counts if the book has a romantic subplot, right?”

“No, it doesn’t count! We agreed on a romance. A full-fledged, contemporary one.”

“We didn’t say contemporary.”

“I assumed it was implied since I mentioned owning Jane Austen books. Pride and Prejudice is a romance, among other things…”

“Ha! So you do have one. I won!” You raised your hands high in victory.

“…But it’s also a social and domestic novel. Doesn’t count.”

You poked him in the chest with your finger.

“You don’t know how to lose.”

He glanced at the spot where you touched him, clearly trying not to smile.

“Maybe I just care a lot about that dinner,” he admitted boldly.

You didn’t know what to say. You tried to look at him confidently, but it was hard to think and maintain eye contact with him at the same time.

“Or breakfast,” you murmured.

“Or breakfast,” he agreed. Realizing how close he was standing, he instinctively stepped back half a pace. “So, are you ready to admit my victory?”

You shot him a defiant look.

“Not a chance. I haven’t even checked all the books yet. I’m only about three-quarters through. Who knows what kind of BDSM might be lurking in the last quarter?”

“Seriously?” he asked with a sigh. “Okay, just look at me. Do I seem like the kind of guy who reads stuff like that?”

“Honestly, you look like the kind of guy who reads encyclopedias. But the one thing I know about people is that appearances can be deceiving. Still waters run deep.”

He shook his head in disbelief.

“You’re as stubborn as they come.”

“Maybe I just really want that drink,” you teased.

“I can make you one,” he offered unexpectedly.

“Seriously?” The suggestion caught you off guard.

Spencer shrugged casually.

“I don’t drink much, but some friends gave me a few bottles for my birthday.”

You hesitated, considering.

“I’m not really in the mood,” you admitted. You felt good, even without alcohol. “But I do have another request… Do you happen to have something I could change into? I won’t lie, this isn’t the most comfortable dress… though it’s absolutely stunning.”

He smiled softly.

"You’re right. And yes, I’ll find something for you to change into. Just… it’ll be something of mine."

Following him into the bedroom, you let out a small chuckle.

"You know, I didn’t expect you to have a closet full of women’s clothes. Plus, in my size. Although, who knows what girls leave behind at your place. It’s a tactic, you know? You leave a sock at a guy’s place to have an excuse to come back. Unless you didn’t like it, then you have to accept losing the sock."

He didn’t say anything, opening the wardrobe to find something appropriate for you. You’d been in his bedroom before and didn’t feel the need to look around; nothing had changed inside.

"Do you do this often?" he asked, inspecting a t-shirt. "Use the sock strategy?"

"No," you replied, shrugging. "I’m too straightforward for that. If I like it, I just go back and say 'Let’s do it again' Or I don’t leave at all. I’m a bit of a parasite too."

He chuckled at the comparison and finally handed you some clothes. You didn’t really look at them; you just needed something looser, something you hadn’t danced in for hours at the club.

"You know where the bathroom is, right?"

You confirmed and were about to head in that direction when you stopped.

"Wait," you said, turning back toward him. But then, you turned again, facing him with your back. "The zipper on the dress," you explained, pulling your hair to the front. "I could manage it myself, but I don’t want to risk breaking it. Could you…?"

"Y-yeah," he agreed after a moment, stepping closer.

He stood just behind you, reaching for the top of your back. Before he pulled the zipper down, there was a moment where he simply paused, unmoving. Your knees suddenly trembled, almost impatiently. Then, he tugged at the zipper, unfastening the dress, and the coolness and freedom teased your skin.

You could have said thank you and headed to the bathroom, but you didn’t. Something kept your body rooted in place, right there next to him, feeling the pads of his fingers on the lower part of your dress.

Even his breath, louder and irregular.

When you began to, slightly disappointed, assume that he wouldn’t do anything more, his lips found a spot on your neck, kissing it slowly. You inhaled deeply, your head instinctively tilting back, giving him more access, as if you had been waiting for just that.  He stopped for a longer time in this specific place, pressing on it harder, as you barely hold a groan. 

Your breath was given a free rollercoaster ride.

You reached your hand back, wrapping it around his head and pulling him closer to you. You felt him sigh directly into your skin, leaving another two hungry kisses on an exposed skin on your shoulder. God, why were you still wearing that dress?

You abruptly stopped, turning around and almost hitting the top of your head against his jaw. You didn't care about it, and the thought of apologizing never crossed your mind, just simply pushed him, planting a strong kiss right on his lips.

The clothes he gave you slipped from your hand and fell to the floor, but neither of you were concerned about it, as you were both too absorbed to care. You pushed him again, this time onto the bed, on which he sat, surprised by your suddenness. You saw red marks creeping onto the parts of the neck exposed by the undone shirt. 

"Spencer, Spencer, Spencer," you said, shaking your head in a mock reprimand. He tilted his head to the side, unsure of where you were going with this, his fingers impatiently brushing your waist on both sides. "You lied to me."

Your hands grabbed his face, positioning just under his jaw and lifting it upward so you could find his lips right against yours. 

“I lied to you?”

"“That's right. You said you don't read romances. But tell me, how does someone who doesn't do that know such practices?”

“Practices?” he repeated again, surprised."

His gaze was focused solely on your lips to which he tried to get closer, but you hadn't allowed him to yet. 

"This whole unbuttoning of the dress. And then, the neck”

With your index finger, you traced along the skin on his neck

“Did you like it?” he asked, his voice sounding a bit hoarse. He removed one hand from your waist and took your hand, the one you had been playing with.

“Did I like it?” you scoffed with a genuine laugh.“I’m like half naked now. Answer that for yourself”

Undressing was the element you hated the most. You became impatient and couldn't understand why your clothes couldn't just disappear from you, instead of threatening to burn your already overheated skin. Spencer didn't help, so slow in his movements. You had a feeling he was doing it on purpose. He probably enjoyed watching you struggle to untangle yourself from the dress. He waited a minute before helping you, effortlessly pulling it over your head.

Maybe slow wasn't the most accurate description.The way he touched his body wasn’t slow. It was like rationing a treat, breaking it into small pieces and savoring them one by one. Meanwhile, it gazed straight into your mouth, shouting, eat me!

It required incredible self-control and composure, but it resulted in something more than just pleasure. When he found himself right between your legs, his lips touching gently every single inch of your thigh and refusing to go further despite your pleas, you compared him to the previous guys you slept with. With them, on the other hand, you had to tell them to slow down, to do everything more carefully, and not to focus solely on their own needs.

“Does it feel right?” He asked, briefly lifting his gaze, his hands gripping your thighs.

Your back arched, probably enough of an answer, but you confirmed it with a soft moan.

"I'd rather you said it out loud. Does it feel right?"

"That's edging on sadism, do you realize that?" you whimpered, trying to release the tension by pulling at his hair.

He stopped again.

"Please, do it again."

It wasn't something he had to beg for.

The rest went similarly. You liked how his confidence and courage grew, but you also went wild when, at certain moments, the same gentle and sometimes awkward Spencer returned. It was a perfectly balanced mix.

"Can you talk to me more?" he asked over time, once he was already inside you. "I want to know how you feel about all of this." After those words, your forehead twitched slightly as you felt the onset of pain. "Does it hurt?"

"No," you whispered, accompanied by a faintly tired exhale.”A little. But it's normal I just didn't have sex for a while”

"No, it shouldn't hurt you. Do you want to stop?"

"Just... give me a moment."

He slowed down, almost stopping. You took a breath,pressing your forehead to his. You stayed like that for a moment, neither of you in a hurry. After all, where to? Outside, the night still reigned, long and patient, winter’s grip holding steady. You liked having his face so close to yours, joining them together and not speaking. For the first time, you could truly say that you enjoyed the silence.

You had always considered silence overwhelming, incapable of calming the chaos that arose in your mind. You preferred moments of wildness, loud sounds, and fast pace, but it was in that silence, which fell then, that you found a peace filled with intimacy.

You wrapped your arms tighter around his neck.

"It's okay, I'm ready."

After everything, you simply lay facing each other, tangled in one another. Actually, you didn’t like that expression "after everything." After everything—after what exactly? Sex wasn’t just about the physical act; it also included the long moment before and the even more significant one after. It was precisely that moment after which revealed the true you both. How much you cared for each other and how much you meant to each other beyond the bed. That was often missing in one-night stands; the perspective of quickly disappearing from each other's lives and being forgotten somehow intensified selfishness in people.

Lying there, you played with the hair on his forehead.

"You know, they say this is the moment when people are the most honest with each other."

"Do you want to squeeze a few secrets out of me?" he asked.

"Just one," you said mysteriously, turning onto your back. Before that, you noticed his eyebrows furrow.

He propped himself up on his elbow to look at you again.

"Which one?"

You pretended to hesitate before answering. You tried with all your might to keep the smile from appearing on your face, betraying you.

"I'm afraid that even now, you won't be honest with me."

"I'm starting to get worried."

"I'll tell you, but you have to promise to tell the truth. Give me your pinky."

"What?"

"A pinky promise, you fool."

“O-okay” 

Clearly surprised, he did what you asked.

"Now tell me the truth. You got any romance books at your place you're too embarrassed to admit to?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I'll find them," you teased. "I’ll get up right now and find them."

You pretended to get up, but he pulled you closer, preventing you from moving.

"You're not going anywhere."

i know some of you were curious about this fanfiction, so I'm tagging it.

@nightfullofparadox @bloodredrubyrose @lillaberry @miriamnox @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

[arminsumi]

★ Satoru's undercut

★ Synopsis : He fears the hairdresser like it's the dentist. One day, he accidentally gets an undercut style. He would have thrown a tantrum if it weren't for your positive response — because all he really cares about is that you enjoy his haircut.

★ Content : soft fluff, romantic tension, some mutual pining??

★ Library ★ reblog for a cake slice! 🍰

"This will ruin my life..."

"It will not ruin your life."

"I'm gonna die!"

"You're not gonna die."

"Yes, I'm gonna die! They're gonna cut my head off."

"They're not gonna cut your head off."

Satoru had a haircut appointment which you were accompanying him to as per his desperate demand request. Suguru was there also, helping Shoko with something technical on her phone. He laughed when Satoru was whining to you.

The four of you were on the train; Suguru and Shoko stood tightly packed with their backs facing other people as if they were the group shield. And Satoru sat next to you, clinging to your arm as if he were a kid on his way to the dentist.

"Don't laugh. You know I feel the same about hairdressers as people feel about dentists!" he pouted.

"Satoru, you're so weird." you said.

“I'm not!”

You shook your head at him. Satoru grumbled.

"No one understands me!" he said dramatically.

Suguru commented, "I do understand why you dislike hairdressers, Satoru; most of them don't cut your hair how you want."

Shoko nodded and chimed in, "— yup, and you usually leave with a fake smile and say "oh wowww... I love it!" but you actually hate it." then she went back to frowning at her phone with Suguru.

“My hair is important, I can't afford to have a bad haircut." Satoru said.

"Haha, you make it sound like if you have a bad haircut it could cost you millions." you laughed.

Satoru sat up straighter and spoke seriously, "It may as well cost me millions!"

You didn't understand why Satoru was being so dramatic.

****

The hairdresser looked at you, Shoko and Suguru and then wondered why so many people were accompanying this grown man to his haircut, as if he were about to get a root canal for the first time.

Suguru whispered into her ear, and she blushed at his alluring charm like anyone would.

"He's scared of bad haircuts... so please do your best, he has a girl to impress. See that one sitting there?” Suguru pointed to you, “Yeah, that's the one."

He accidentally flustered her, and he smirked about it when he returned to you and Shoko.

"Suguru, your head looks as big as a bubble about ready to pop." you joked, noticing his smug demeanor as he took a waiting seat with you.

"I think I just flustered the hairdresser on accident." he said.

Shoko chuckled, "Is it ever an accident? I think you do it on purpose — oh, Y/n, I think Satoru is trying to get your attention. Give him some comfort."

Satoru recoiled when the cold blade of the scissors touched his neck, and looked distressed when the hairdresser touched his hair.

You knew he was highly sensitive to touch, especially his hair — he hated people touching his hair (reason X for hating hairdressers). The only person who was allowed to touch his hair was you. Suguru and Shoko needed a "valid reason" for touching Satoru's hair.

But you could comb your fingers through his hair any time, any place for no reason and Satoru would go limp with a smile on his face, completely melting for the act of affection.

Sometimes when it was just you and him alone together in his apartment, especially during his sleepless nights, Satoru would lay his tired head on your lap and ask you to play with his hair. Each stroke of your hand mellowed him out. He especially loved the feeling of your fingers running through his hair when it was fluffy and long.

So really, he feared not the hairdresser or even the bad haircut, but the fact that it might be too short or not fluffy enough for you to enjoy. It had to be just right. He had to maintain his fluffy hair for you.

He wanted to make sure that when you saw him at every party and get-together, you'd think "Wow, Satoru's hair looks so good.". He wanted you to compliment his hair and make him feel good and blushy.

And most of all, he just wanted to please your eyes. He wanted you to be starstruck when you looked at him.

So, a good haircut was critical.

****

Satoru's panic calmed after you took the empty seat next to him. He watched in admiration as you struck up a friendly conversation with the hairdresser. She turned out to be kind. She was an apprentice (picture nervous Satoru stiffening his shoulders when he learned this) and her mother owned the establishment next door.

Satoru was mostly quiet and focused on his reflection in the mirror. He squinted in suspicion when the lady brought out a hair buzzer.

But then you distracted Satoru by asking about what the four of you were doing after this. He stuttered a bit, half-looking at the hair buzzer and jumping a little when it turned on.

You talked so much that Satoru was completely distracted, and the lady could work. Though, it was hard, because Satoru didn't really specify what he wanted... so she winged it.

She thought hey, this guy would look good with an undercut. So, she cut an undercut for Satoru, and looked at you and smirked. His girlfriend will appreciate it, she thought as she looked at you and Satoru talking with hearts in your eyes.

You weren't his girlfriend. But you may as well have been. The two of you were anyways soulmates since kindergarten. Sure, you went away for five years to work abroad, but the link between you and Satoru wasn't broken by the distance.

****

Satoru gasped and nearly fainted when he saw how short his hair had been buzzed at the bottom. His neck felt exposed and suddenly it felt more drafty.

"What the—"

"— oh, you look hot, Satoru." You said.

He immediately shut up and went red in the face.

"Thanks, yeah it looks... yeah." Satoru hesitantly complimented the hairdresser's work.

She beamed proudly and wrapped up the haircutting session. Satoru took off the black dressing gown and stood up and shimmied the white hair off his pants.

"The cat is shedding." you joked, making Satoru grin with sealed lips.

You picked a white strand of his hair off the back of his shirt when he stood in line to pay at the checkout. He didn't notice. Such a cute boy.

Satoru was just grumbling to himself about how he'd need a scarf or turtleneck to compensate for his "practically naked" hairstyle now.

You stared at his undercut and felt your heartbeat get a bit frantic.

Then you kept staring as you left the barber shop.

Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulders out of habit, as if he were your boyfriend, so the hairdresser felt sure that you two were dating and said something as you two left that really made you and Satoru blush;

"Your girlfriend loves it." she winked.

"I'm not his—"

"She's not my—"

"She sure does! Thanks for everything, see ya." Shoko cut off you and Satoru from responding and shoved the two of you out the door.

****

That comment lingered in the back of yours and Satoru's minds for the rest of the day.

On the train home, you grazed your fingers over Satoru's undercut and it elicited the funniest reaction out of him; he shivered like a cat that had just been scratched in a sweet spot.

"Haha, does that feel good?" you asked.

"It does. But my neck feels naked." Satoru shrugged.

Oh my god, do that again, he thought. It felt so good.

"Aw, then Y/n should wrap her arms around your neck." Suguru said in a flirtatious murmur.

Shoko laughed and propped a cigarette between her lips.

The four of you got off the train, you parted ways. Suguru and Shoko lived in different places and had to wait for their respective trains to take them home. So, you said your goodbyes and went with Satoru.

When you and Satoru moved out of your university housing, you both decided to live on the same street. You can say it was for X reasons, like oh it's a good neighborhood or oh the prices are great or oh the apartment walls aren't thin... but let's be honest; you and Satoru just didn't want to live too far from each other. You were inseparable, even cry-babies whenever the two of you were separated.

Satoru was always clinging or touching you in some way – hanging off your shoulders, resting his chin on the top of your head, draping an arm around you, holding your hand, snuggling into your neck. The closeness brought him more comfort than his own bed. He even claimed once that he could fall asleep on you more readily than on his bed.

Sometimes he was just shy of kissing you when you two met up, or when he knocked on your apartment door some mornings. His lips would graze over yours by accident in some circumstances, and though the two of you would laugh it off, there was an unmistakable spark in the air between you and him.

****

“Do you like it?” Satoru asked.

“I love it. You look really good.” You replied.

Satoru smiled to himself, hiding his face in your lap.

The TV was playing the most recent episode of that trashy romance soap opera – the episode where the two love interests kissed in the rain. Satoru stared hard at their lips connecting, and thought of why he hasn’t attempted to kiss you again. He didn’t want to ruin anything, so he kept his confession to himself even if it was obvious that he liked you.

You noticed he went a bit silent as you ran your fingers through his hair. He made a soft, long groan when your fingertips tickled up the back of his neck and over his prickly undercut.

“You sound like a cat.” You laughed.

His eyes were closed, brows relaxed into a sleepy arch. Whenever he got drowsy in your lap, his lips would part and show his two front teeth.

****

After getting an undercut hairstyle, Satoru was living in heaven with how much attention you gave his hair. Every day you’d find an excuse to play with his hair.

It made his heart beat harder and his mind go blank whenever you touched his neck and hair. He’d get shivers and close his eyes each time you did it, and would even stop talking mid-sentence.

In time it grew out. He refused to go back to the hairdresser, and instead insisted that you cut his hair for him. At first, he attempted to do it himself, but then he wimped out as soon as he held the scissors to his hair.

So, after he practically begged you on his knees and voiced his fear for the hairdresser, you agreed.

Cutting Satoru’s hair was a whole event. You invited Suguru and Shoko over to your apartment, and the four of you were laughing in the cramped bathroom together.

You had no idea what you were doing, and the online tutorials didn’t help much.

Satoru was dramatic when he thought you were cutting it too short or jagged, and he was so very picky that it drove you nuts to the point of putting the scissors down and leaving. But then he hugged your legs and apologized cutely, so you came back. Suguru and Shoko had to get it on camera because it was pure comedy.

“Alright, fairy princess. How did I do?” you asked Satoru.

He checked himself out in the mirror. His jawline and shorter hair drove you a bit wild, it was hard to contain yourself.

“It’s okay.” He replied cheekily.

“Just “okay”?! I put my soul into this!”

He grinned. “I’m just teasing.” He said, “I like it. Now let’s test it out.”

You looked confused. “Test it out?”

“Play with my hair.” He explained, “And tell me you like how it feels or else I’ll cry.” He added dramatically.

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

[luvnami]

you text ushijima to pick you up from a halloween party at 12.17am, the tray of soju shots you had earlier hitting you all at once. he shows up at 12.31am with a coverup hoodie, slides for your aching feet, and a bottle of cold water.

"thank you for taking care of her," he says to the friend who hands you over.

your limbs are jelly as his strong arm wraps around your face. never mind the foundation that rubs off on his dark shirt, he'll wash it off later.

"wakatoshi!" you slur. "you're here!"

you giggle and nuzzle into his shoulder. the foundation spot grows into an oddly shaped patch, reminiscent of your cheek and nose. he nods as if that is the most obvious fact in the whole world.

"yes. i'm here. let's go home."

your friends gawk through the window as ushijima helps you back into his car.

"did you have fun?" he reaches past you to buckle the seatbelt into place.

you hum. "i did, i did. i missed you! we took lots of photos, i'll show them to you when we get home. oh, and remember that girl i told you about? she said she loved my costume! that was so sweet!"

you ramble on and on about every little thing that happened at the party. ushijima listens carefully, even when you get into the details of how someone was making out sloppy-style with their ex-partner, while a 50 cent song played in the background.

ushijima doesn't know who 50 cent is. he stayed up past his bedtime, watching a documentary about birds while waiting for your text to come pick you up. but that's alright; because why would that ever matter when he loves you so much?

"wakatoshi, can i get a burger on the way home?"

he slides into the driver seat and adjusts your head, slotting a neck pillow around your shoulders so that you don't bump into the car window.

"you're going to feel gross when you wake up if you eat a burger now."

"mm... but i really want one! please?"

you gaze up at him, pupils dilated. he pauses to make sure none of your hair is stuck between your neck and the pillow.

"okay. we can get a burger. close your eyes and rest, i'll wake you when we're home."

"hehe, thank you! i love you, toshi."

he smiles.

"i love you too."