#I'm not even anxious right now

[pizzaboat]

Me after staying up all night: this is good for my mental health

I mean, I can't remember what I was gonna say but it was a funny addition to what I'd already written.

[coffeebanana]

having thoughts about the marinette and nathalie hug because like.

my god.

marinette's just had her world turned inside out

she's just a kid and how's she supposed to carry all this alone and what is she supposed to do and what does she tell adrien?

and then, suddenly, there's someone there to share the burden. an adult. someone who has a reputation for getting things done

so maybe, just this once, everything doesn't have to balance on marinette's shoulders alone

but it's nathalie--who, sure, adrien obviously cares about. but not someone marinette's at all close to. certainly not someone she probably thinks of as warm or parental or even very trustworthy. maybe marinette's even started to put the pieces together--if gabriel was monarch, then mayura must have been...??

those doubts seem insignificant when she actually sees nathalie

the last time marinette saw her, she was dying. and now marinette knows what gabriel wished for--at least some of it. she knows he did one good thing in the end. that he finally, to some degree, put adrien first

then another horrible truth dawns on marinette: nathalie doesn't know--of course she was aware gabriel was dying, but she still doesn't know he's dead

marinette's probably already thought up a hundred different ways she might break the news to adrien--even if she discarded them all just as quickly. she hasn't thought at all about breaking the news to nathalie

what's she supposed to say? however complicated things were in the end, gabriel was obviously someone nathalie cared about

marinette struggles to find the words, but nathalie just knows. she already suspected, because how would she be here if gabriel was as well? and now the truth's written all over marinette's face

it's not just marinette who needs that hug--though nathalie would probably never admit it, which is why it's marinette who's running to her

how many weeks has adrien been gushing to nathalie about marinette? about how she's so creative and strong and compassionate and full of love

and in that moment, nathalie understands

[sleep-nurse]

after 3 centuries i finally managed to properly redesign my dumbass sona, i was gonna initially just change their hair for a more androgynous look but then i. changed their lore a bit too

basically they volunteer for various jobs like delivering mail and milk, nursing and gardening (even though that's also their hobby)

no one knows their gender or their real name but they go by various plant/nature related names (like willow or sunflower)

[go-learn-esperanto]

So.... waiting for my psychiatrist.... Let's see if I get an ADHD diagnosis. Although, considering the list of symptoms and the fact I fit like... A very good amount of them, with like the exception of drug use and driving accidents (because I'm disabled and can't drive, therefore I'm unable to have accidents) I think I have an idea of the probability of having it.

The problem is that Portuguese adult psychiatrists and psychologists aren't really trained to diagnosed neodivergency (either ADHS, Autism, and probably others) so like... If you're depressed is because you have depression. And only that. There's no real thought that maybe... There's something more going on. You have to find it yourself if you wanna talk to them about it.

That's so damn annoying you know? I know it's probably not their fault, at least not completely. Their school doesn't prepare them for it. And more - because I'm physically disabled they are more inclined to believe it actually has something to do with the disability (yes, that disability makes things more difficult but it isn't the disability that brings me sadness or anxiety). Oh, and I'm a woman. That also doesn't help.

I think someone should study diagnosis of mental illness in physically disabled people. We all know that women are most likely underdiagnosed but I wonder if that happens with physically disabled people too.

[graysongraysoff]

i am begging people to be less weird about whether or not i'm online/how quickly i'm replying to messages

i like want to make new friends online but this is just the reddest possible flag to me

[hunsa-jars]

Dread be dreading

[findmeinthefallair]

It's so weird to think that the US is currently 5-8 hours behind me instead of the 12-15 hours that I'm used to

[pocketramblr]

I tried but couldn't add any words to my "for legal purposes Tensei had to marry Masaki" fic however different idea: au where Masaki and Tensei said they'd marry each other if both reached 30 single, and Masaki is now just like "ah ha he's going to be dating someone in two years tho right. In eighteen months right. In one year right-"

[sweetcobaltblue]

"It's finally calm. Peaceful. Relaxed here if only it was like this last year..No one i hate no one that annoys me--And specially no seaweed hair colored so called king." Kaiba don't say this out loud you fool-you seeing this? he'll sass when those few are away..damnit

"As it should be."

[braceletofteeth]

watchlist numbers going up like a chronometer these days

[emblazons]

boy updates (need to start a tag for this lmao)

held hands with and kissed the cheek + got a forehead kiss from of the midwestern boy yesterday after a concert and him like. holding me the whole time + insisting we see each other tomorrow? Also the clear overtures he's repeatedly made of wanting something serious y'all I feel like I've literally stepped into a parallel universe

like. I need you to understand I have not dated in like. nearly four years and now here I am having met a cute man on accident on my birthday in real fucking life not on an app who is saying things like "is this teasing something I'm going to have to put up with for the rest of my life" and being open to plans a month in advance I physically cannot breathe what is HAPPENING

[amethystina]

I may have stalked you all the way till 2022 today during my break js to get more who holds the devil content and reading your thoughts on the show and response to some of these asks made me somehow love your brain more? you have a way of thinking that is genuinely fascinating to read and i love it. I'm also very sorry to hear that your recovery isn't going well. I wish you strength and health. Hopefully everything works out in the end for you 💗💗

Hi there! 💜

Not going to lie, I'm still a little baffled by how interested people are in my thoughts on the drama and characters. But not in a bad way! I definitely don't mind sharing! It just amazes me that it's actually interesting to other people. I mean, to me, my way of thinking isn't anything out of the ordinary since, well, it's the way I think and always have, you know? xD

Still, I'm so glad to hear that I can offer you some fascinating insights! I honestly wish I could do more. Not just in terms of answering asks or comments, but writing, too. And maybe doing teasers and stuff for coming chapters or projects I'm considering writing? I've thought about it several times and sometimes even come so far as to make the draft here on Tumblr, but then I always chicken out before posting. Partly because I'm worried I'll spoil something or maybe hype things up too much. Or disappoint people if I tease about something and then it takes literal months (or years) before I'm able to post the actual work.

There's just so much anxiety involved in writing fics, isn't there? x'D

Anyhow. Thank you so, so much for your support and I'm glad you like my brain. Admittedly, I'm not on the best terms with it right now due to it probably being one of the reasons why I'm so exhausted, but I guess that's just something I'll have to work on. Somehow. I have no idea how but we'll see.

Thank you so much for the concern and well-wishes. Please take care! :D

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I will say that because these one after another, recurring anxieties are RECURRING and usually spiral from each other I can often disregard them a little more easily bc I'm like... I've been over this before?

[vaguely-annoyed]

well well well, if it isn't the feelings i said weren't that deep

[vraska-theunseen]

google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help

[drop--pop--candy]

wow i keep my eyes closed a lot. it's nice to open them a little wider