#I'm not an MRA

[problemnyatic]

The reason, by the way, you keep seeing thinkpieces on how Hating All Men is Bad is because this actually is a feminist issue. Writing off all men as inherently tainted by Evil Man Juice due to their Loud, Intrusive Masculinity not only lets them off the hook for their actions, but asserts bioessentialist and gender essentialist narratives which are directly counterposed with progressing the conversation on human rights and feminism in a useful direction.

It's not saying Not All Men, it's not saying "men are the REAL victims, actually," and it's not a dismissal of the very real dynamics of systemic sexism and patriarchy.

If anything is ever going to change, we need to assert the idea that men aren't inherently different than anyone else, and that means they hold responsibility for when they perpetuate systems of oppression. It means we acknowledge those systems of oppression and the way patriarchy cultivates toxic masculinity in men, rather than just pretending that testosterone just somehow makes you turn into The Oppressor, What A Shame.

Asserting that men are inherently dangerous, inherently trash, inherently untrustworthy, inherently different than women just asserts that likewise, women are inherently different than men. Ten fucking years ago this website was buzzing about how obviously bullshit that is.

Men and women get raised different, but that's nurture, not nature, and a given man is literally just some guy who like, probably has some biases to watch out for.

We cannot fight the patriarchy and we cannot disassemble systemic sexism if we're convincing ourselves that these things are just intrinsic to the male sex, with nothing to be done but induce an adequate volume of shame and ostricization in every man you meet in hopes that we punish the evil ghosts out of their blood.

Also, people are more receptive to change and criticism when you're not treating them like a fucking bomb for existing. It's not useful to treat men as a tainted category of person, and it actively contributes to the emotional isolation men are subject to by the patriarchy that only deepens the issues society tries to instill into them.

You don't need to be Personally Responsible for pulling every man you meet out of the partiarchal miasma of brainworms or anything, but upholding the narrative and belief that men are Just Worse, Because They're Men keeps the conversation misdirected.

The patriarchy is actively invested in teaching men to be emotionally isolated, and to fill that hole with entitlement over women's lives and bodies, and that it is the natural and Correct state of a Man. The least you could fucking do is stop fucking agreeing with it that Yeah, Men Are Just Like That, even if you're oh-so-progressively appending it with "Sucks, Huh?"

[hanzajesthanza]

andrzej sapkowski in the witcher presents his reader with many curious and refreshing takes on the fantasy genre, such as "what if dragons were good" and "what if elves were incels"

[agendercryptidlev]

Omg wait.. you're right. Those hysterical bitches don't suffer enough for their voices to matter. Male socialized baeddels, uhh I mean trans women should just quit complaining about misogyny forever. Fuck those man hating feminists, am I right or am I right man!

You are no better than the average MRA I could find on reddit lol. Maybe try cracking a book or talking to more than one trans woman a week idk

I wonder what I could have said to cause this ask!

hm

hmmm

hmmmmmm

Yeah this really is the piss on the poor website

[marxistdoll]

got blocked by a popular transandrobro zionist on here 🥳

[fite-club]

the sheer fucking audacity of transandrophobia truthers to say shit like "everyone just thinks we should shut up and quit whining, sound familiar? people are saying that we're trying to dominate the conversation and that we need to be nicer, reminds you of something doesn't it?" like ok are you seen as men or not? do you understand how women's complaints are sidelined or not? how can you make it any more obvious that you see yourselves as closer to "womanhood" than trans women. you're literally implying that your words aren't being heard because you're being treated like women.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Why are joking about being a misogynist. Why are you joking about hating women. Why are you joking about being a "men's rights activist". Why are you using the phrase "girl [x]". Why are you perpetuating misogyny in a morbidly palatable manner on purpose. I'm. Am I in another world rn. What the fuck is going on.

[pinkhysteria]

not people on twitter crying about america being "mean" to a prejury flop that's been ten times worse to and about her IN the house, lmfaooo.

[fleet-off]

Had "a finding" on an MRA of my brain yesterday and my primary has put in a referral to a neurologist but won't tell me anything about what "a finding" means, so I just get to sit in that existential dread today. :)

[cookinguptales]

man, I don't know if it's like. residual emotional effects from yesterday, the physical toll it took on my body, hormones or just like. a general sense of malaise. but I just kind of want to lie in bed and cry today.

I just finished a work project, which is generally call for celebration, but I just. every time I try to work on a creative project instead, I feel like everything I make is awful. every time I try to just veg and watch something, I feel like I'm wasting my time. my brain is very... scratchy today, for lack of a better word.

idk, maybe I'm just mentally exhausted. I had to put on kind of a brave and friendly face for most of yesterday, but it was a pretty awful experience. the actual migraine(?) was terrifying, especially because the experience wasn't anything like other migraines I've had, the tests were stressful and painful and I'm having quite a few physical effects today because of them. and no matter how often it happens to me, there's something so specifically demoralizing about paying several hundred dollars to go to the hospital and stay there all day just for them to say "good news! we can't find anything wrong!" like that makes you feel any better at all when something clearly is.

idk how I feel so simultaneously over and underwhelmed today.

[voluptuarian]

Finished the last episode.

[abearinthewoods]

A nerdy pervert gf is the last thing someone in the MRA movement needs. You need Jesus.

If you think that just from that one post you should avoid seeing my kink list. (don't bother its not anywhere one can easily find from this blog account)

[wild-at-mind]

Not to talk about MRA-lite spaces again but I'm going to need everyone to understand that in these spaces, the subtext of 'men don't get to talk about their problems' is ALWAYS 'and it is women's fault!'

[radelenagreco]

i'm #newtoradblr i've spent so much time these past two weeks scrolling through radfem blogs i knew i had to make an actual radfem side of tumblr blog for my own sanity. the way i "peaked" is kinda funny 3-4 months ago i liked a radfem post without realizing and all of a sudden i had other radfem posts recommended to me by the algorithm and i was so annoyed because i was very anti-terf etc but for a couple days i read through a bunch of radfem blogs and it was actually such a relief to encounter FEMINISM not some watered down version of it but i felt guilty due to 5+ years of conditioning (and also because i had a nonbinary friend sitting right next to me in class as i was doing this) and i also didn't like the prominent use of the word moid? but anyway, 3 months later, i'm not sure why but the mra nature of the trans movement has grown so much more apparent to me i have like three mutuals who are trans men on my other blog and i would find myself rereading the few feminist posts i would reblog/write because these people are literally reblogging shit like "don't think like a terf. men aren't your oppressors, they're your friends/neighbors/brothers/fathers. if you think that any man could harm you you have been fooled by terf rhetoric" like actual morons/meninists. anyway two weeks ago i saw a post made by someone i knew was a radfem on my twitter tl and i don't know why i knew i was ready i went through her blog and through many others and now here i am.

[daxdraggon]

You know, I love joking that 'men are better when you imagine them as women' but i know if you say 'women are better when you imagine them as men' you'd get people crawling up your ass about how sexist and women hating that remark is....

as they completely ignore how sexist and men hating the previous remark is.

sexism is bad for all genders not just one... please remove that sexist pos from your brain that thinks hating men is funny

[hotchocolateandpillowforts]

It's been a few days so I guess I'm in the mental headspace where I can talk about IRL stuff for a second. (I ended up breaking up the paragraphs a lot because I can fucking rant y'all.)

I had a pretty rough doctor's appointment on Wednesday morning. I told my neurologist about a few new symptoms I've developed since I've seen her last. (Pulsatile tinnitus that's especially bad at night when I'm laying in bed, numbness in my hand when I wake up in the morning and at some random points throughout the day, and, it's not new but it's worse, the tinnitus I experience pretty much 24/7 is getting worse.)

She asked a few questions and said I probably have carpal tunnel because of my job plus doing schoolwork after my 40 hours a week job. We're going with a brace at night for now to see if it helps. If it doesn't I get to do an invasive test that includes getting a shock in order to stimulate the nerve AND a needle pressed into the nerve. Fuck that shit.

She also said that she wants to do a Magnetic Resonance Angiogram in order to "rule out any possible aneurysm" which is just amazing to hear as someone who has a brain disorder and has an uncle who had a stroke less than a year ago. But apparently hearing your pulse in your ears is bad and is usually caused by aneurysms or cardio vascular issues of some kind. The soonest we were able to schedule the MRA is this Friday in the morning.

But that wasn't the end of my horrible day. A couple of hours later I got a text from my brother telling me to call him. I did so and he told me one of our other uncles had died. It was sudden and out of nowhere so it was a real shock. The ME thinks it was probably a heart attack but we won't get the official cause of death for another week or something like that.

So that day was just a garbage fire day. And my week continued to get worse (somehow) with my cousins and grandma getting into fights about doing a service. I guess the cousins don't want to do one but my grandmother wants one. (And this is the second child she's burying in her lifetime so maybe give that woman whatever the fuck she wants.) And no one could give me any dates to tell my employer so I can take bereavement. Then my husband and my brother got into a fight because my stress and anxiety and grief have been so fucking hard to handle and all I wanted was a fucking date so I could have a plan. I think I just wanted to be doing something other than going to work and being sad and being anxious about my health stuff. And if I had a date then I could tell my boss and make plans and feel like I'm making progress.

I've said it before and I'll say it again (and probably again and again) this is a shitty fucking year and it can go straight to hell. I fucking hate this year. I'm going to get ready for bed now, work 4 days in a row (while also keeping up with school work and my workout routine and my reading habits because how else am I going to get through this week), get up early on Friday for an MRA, drive up to Oklahoma and spend four days with my wretched family.

[bthump]

so just a heads up, when it comes to asks i generally try to answer them all, but i do make a few exceptions:

anon hate, obviously

sometimes short jokey shitpost style statements if I feel like I have nothing to say in response

and sometimes the type of ask that's just someone sharing an opinion or take without asking for input or inviting a response. for these whether I answer them depends on whether I agree, or whether I'm in the mood to discuss how and why I disagree, or whether I want to platform those opinions at all even to disagree with them.

I don't mind getting any of these (well aside from anon hate lol) and I def answer the vast majority so I hope this doesn't dissuade anyone from sending asks, but yeah I don't quite have a 100% answer rate.