#I'm not alone anymore
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“In the end it’s only ever been one step, and then the next.”
― Ann Leckie, Ancillary Mercy
#ancillary mercy#imperial radch#ann leckie#q#save#for however many tomorrows#words I've lived by that were validated in post#it really does feel impossible sometimes#on living#fave#me @ past me we made it girl we really did it#I'm not alone anymore#ppl act like I'm cool and honestly they're probably right#I trust em and I trust me#clawing back everything I couldnt hold when I was younger#'preciate my friends love y'all#I'll see y'all tomorrow yeah?#you'll catch me out here#careening through life with the grace of a tsundere intergalactic battlecruiser
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she would've told them unlike her canon! version who decided not to be an ally smh
#one piece#trans!sanji#sanji#kiku#yamato#ワンピース#I'm practicing my japanese shhhhhh#(日本語のペラペラ人:俺は文法とか書く方とか間違ったら教えてください😅ありがとうございます)#translation:#Yamato: I'll be able to get as strong as Oden?#Sanji: Probably... 🤔#[meanwhile Kiku is remembering the time in the hot spring]#(Sanji: Nami-chan!!!)#(Nami: Shut up!! The women's bath is supposed to be a peaceful place!)#Kiku: I am also ⚧️ ... o.o#(y'all english speakers had me all to yourselves for a decade it's about time I start to also sometimes make stuff in my next language lol#notably for media *from* that language#same as it made sense to make fan content in english for [american superhero franchise we don't talk abt anymore] back in the day#(happy seasonal reminder that Ren Is Not A Native English Speaker and This Is My 5th Language hi 😅))#while looking up reference for this I learnt that the straps to tie back the kimono sleeves are called tasuki#also I decided yamato get big muscles cause he got them kaido genes in im (I also gave him his dad's young-man-facial hair)#the more I do transition projections for one piece characters while tryna adhere to the style the more I learn that sometimes stylisation#uses bones less as literal determinants for where things go and just kinda exaggerates shapes based on vibes alone instead#meaning trans characters' bones wouldn't literally stay looking the same in that stylisation in the way they do irl#they'd get exaggerated differently based on what the surrounding stuff is doing#I still think oda's transition demonstration when we first met iva was unreasonable even with that in mind tho
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rare sightings of dean's pretty armpits over 15 seasons of spn aka what you follow this blog for!
#spnedit#deanedit#i'm me so i have MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT TOO ACTUALLY#like 1 of these scenes it's a shapeshifter that has stolen dean's skin and reveals it to us without his consent#and that's the first time ever we see his body even before his love scene with cassie which is vulnerable in a different way#and then after years of not even taking his clothes off to sleep post-hell demon!dean is casually naked around CROWLEY?#and it's just incredibly jarring to watch#it immediately drives home how much he just doesn't give a shit anymore#supernatural#house afraid to be alone#*
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Frolicking among the flowers I think.
I feel like I already drew this before so hoping I didn't!
#Maybe I've seen a different fanart with this pose? I think I do remember a connverse fanart with Connie lying in a way that her face is#upside down to us. I can't remember the artstyle if that's the case however.#Anyway#My laptop gave me a big scare. Long story short. I'm not shutting or restarting my laptop ever and I'm going to take as much#commissions as I can because my savings is still not enough for a new one. 😬😬😬#Yo it got so messed up it doesn't support gif png jpeg and jpg anymore. 😵#connverse#steven quartz universe#connie maheswaran#su#my shiz#steven universe#skedoobles#Connverse to comfort from the spooks 😭. But like. I can't be drawing any more personal stuff on my laptop after this.#We can't live with love alone guys. I need the moolah 😤
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bug doodles so i can say i drew something
#oc#original character#alien oc#artists on tumblr#art#aliens#sketch#nyx#having a rough month creatively. and mentally. like a really really rough month. but i'm tired of saying that too#i made like three things this year i was excited about and that's it. where did the fun go. im supposed to enjoy it right#if i dont enjoy it then what is the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of anything !!!! i dont enjoy Anything anymore even !!!!!!!!!#why is it already august. almost september. i dont even remember most of 2023 let alone 2024.#i got no drive to draw let alone to push through a drawing when it gets challenging or doesn't turn out right. i barely drew this month#just kinda hated everything. nothing is fulfilling#IF IM NOT HAVING FUN !!! THEN WHAT IS THE POINT !!! WHAT AM I DOING IT FOR#more and more i consider taking a hiatus from art. but what the fuck else do i do with my time then. what if i never come back to it#i got a list of stuff i could draw but either i try and i dont like it or i sit there and wonder why even bother because i wont enjoy it#guys im tired. im so exhaustingly overwhelmingly depressingly fucking tired and i feel no joy in my art#or videogames. or anything.#i need to go to bed
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If victorious why sad?
#It's missing the wife hour again#“why did she say no ? I thought I asked nicely this time”#“Idc about her I'm gonna forge a ring for me and me alone and she'll be sorry”#“won't even think of her anymore. Btw how is she I haven't checked on her for at least 5 minutes.”#haladriel#saurondriel#galadriel#sauron#sauron x galadriel#galadriel x halbrand#trop
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The Spirealm 致命游戏 (2024) | Ep. 12
#the spirealm#致命游戏#kaleidoscope of death#ruan nanzhu#lin qiushi#tan zaozao#xia zhiguang#huang junjie#lu menglin#cdrama#cdramasource#kodedit#userhanyi#*gifs:mine#there's no rhyme or reason to my rewatch anymore i'm just watching episodes based purely on vibes alone#listen nanzhu you're the one who wanted to drown him out#anyway zaozao is best girl#this makes me laugh every time i watch it#in terms of best zaozao moments#this is right up there with the sanatorium episode where she's like *sigh* but isn't //everyone// a little unwell?#and nanzhu and lingling simultaneously turn around to stare at her like O_O
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Me putting a new outfit I earned for Zayne
Also Zayne:
My honest reaction:
#My love you're not alone anymore#I'm here for you sob sob#Lads fans are all here#love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#zayne#zayne x reader
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"Willoughby could not hear of her marriage without a pang; ... For Marianne, however, in spite of his incivility in surviving her loss, he always retained that decided regard which interested him in every thing that befell her, and made her his secret standard of perfection in woman; and many a rising beauty would be slighted by him in after-days as bearing no comparison with Mrs. Brandon."
I'm normally too focused on 'well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions' to really think about how this sort of thing would affect Marianne, but I mean, it's quite creepy, right??
Imagine you're living your life, happy with your husband, healed and flourishing, and every now and then you find out your HORRID ex is insulting other young women (and they must be young, if they're a 'rising beauty') by invoking your name. Like leave her alone, Willoughby!! You hurt her enough. She was 17 (to your 25) when she was in love with you, she's grown up, seen you for who you really are, and moved on. There's something incredibly selfish about even after treating Marianne so horribly, he refuses to stop associating her name with his own. I wonder how many people would know of Marianne PURELY because Willoughby casually mentions (many times) a young lady has no resemblance to her.
No one wants their worst ex to keep haunting the edges of their life.
#at least the 'standard of perfection' bit seems to be kept secret#but i mean if the other women are slighted by him AS having no comparison to Mrs Brandon as opposed to slighted FOR it#then yeah he's saying it out loud since the ladies don't think the slight is him randomly dismissing their looks but the comparison#Marianne just living her life and a new acquaintance goes#'oh wait are you the Mrs Brandon who knows Willoughby? The one he considers far superior to Miss RisingBeauty?'#Even when the man can't do any active damage anymore because Marianne has moved on and he's out of her life he still lacks the decency to#actually leave her alone and respect her distance#i mean i'm not surprised but i still hate it#and it's such a real thing of manipulative exes regardless of the time period#sense and sensibility#jane austen#john willoughby#marianne dashwood#discourse
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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i feel like people will start pelting me with rocks as soon as i say it but i did not like what the writers did with rhaenyra and mysaria this episode. i have nothing against sapphic representation in stories. i just think it would have way more meaning if the relationship wasn't a half-assed idea thrown in at the last minute for the sake of getting brownie points.
the decision to have them kiss makes no sense to me because a) rhaenyra did not like this woman (you know, the ex-mistress of her husband??) and only barely tolerated her because of daemon, and b) rhaenyra idolised daemon all her life and loved him way too much to cheat on him. the entire scene just feels like another attempt by the writers to appease the fans instead of wanting to stay true to the story martin wrote. there are other canonically queer characters you could bring more attention to instead of doing the bare minimum for the sake of representation.
i feel like whatever narrative choices the writers are making are either for shock value or to appease the fans. house of the dragon is just a poorly written fanfiction of fire and blood at this point. because they're not adapting the characters and the story martin wrote but creating their own headcanons. and it's frustrating to see such a good story be disrespected like that again.
pls do not hate me for this because i know a lot of you are happy and feel represented because of that scene. I'm just frustrated with the show and the writing and wanted to express it. i swear i don't hate queer people 😭.
#the writers have strayed so far from canon that it doesn't even feel like an adaptation anymore#I'm tired of shitty adaptations ruining my favorite books#write your own new story for your movies/shows and leave my books alone 😭#anti hotd#hotd spoilers#hotd s2#hotd season 2#hotd#rhaenyra targeryan#team black#daemon targaryen#hotd meta#house of the dragon
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Lu Flora, pointing aggressively at Lu Sun:
"Why is she the one called Sun?!?!?!"
Sun: ... :D
Flora *angry*: "I have ONE plant that I really like, but I specialize in technology research people! I like biology too but I literally have made revolutionary discoveries in sheikah tech! Yet I'm known as FLORA?!?!???"
Flora: "I'M THE ONE WHO HAS A 'SMILE LIKE THE SUN' FOR HYLIA'S SAKE"
The chain: ...
Flora: *storms off*
Twilight: "should we...?"
Wild: "no. never follow her."
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#Lu#lu sun#Lu flora#lu wild#lu memes#she's a little jelly but it's fine#Wilds like I'm not being ordered by an angry king to trail her anymore so I'm just gonna leave her alone yesss sweet freedom#but really#ONE plant#she cools down after legend suggests they call her techno instead#floras fine thanks
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I'm sure you get this a lot but because my cousin and I love that one Danny Trejo action comedy, I always have to snap my brain into the right position when I read Machete's name. Maybe I should draw them both chilling
.
#I do get it a lot#people have been comparing him to that Danny Trejo character for 13 years#on monthly or these days weekly basis#sorry if I'm about to sound surprisingy pissy and bitchy and petty in the tags of your ask in particular#please don't think I'm not upset with you specifically#but I've been told this same thing three times this week alone and it's only wednesday#and it kind of stopped amusing me a long while ago I'm sorry#I know people mean well and find it funny#but having your longtime deeply personal oc continuously compared to some other unrelated fictional character#just because they happen to share a name#wears you down eventually#I never respond to them because I don't want to come across as needlessly nasty and overly sensitive#over something as utterly trivial as this#but if I never give even a slightest hint that I'm not particularly delighted by it anymore#I'm afraid it's going to just go on indefinitely#answered#rancidslime#I've thought about changing his name numerous times over the years just so I wouldn't have to hear about Danny Trejo anymore#but he's been called Machete for 16 years so it's not easy to let go of that name
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Blind as a bat
#i need to think about more hcs for these two#I think Marshall sometimes joins Fionna on her adventures if he's interested enough (which is rare)#or if he wants to tick Gumball off by showing up without warning like 'heeeey bestie what are we doing today *smiles*'#because Gumball is usually the one who sends Fionna to do stuff outside the kingdom#i think adventuring/traveling in general is (as we say here in Brazil) always either 8 or 80 for Marshall#because he's lived so long and probably seen more than half of Ooo atp so he just doesn't care much about going out there anymore#he still likes hanging out with friends and going to concerts but travel to the other side of the island?#to see an event he's probably seen happen many times before over the centuries? with the conditions he has as a vampire?#and leave his cat alone??? nah he'd rather sleep all day#Fionna likes traveling. I think she'd be more interested on the fun and active parts of the trip like sports and festivals ig?#and also the stories. give her all the monster legends and mythologies and romances she loves them#I think Marshall would know places in Ooo that are known to be hella dangerous so when Fionna says she's going there he just goes#“oh? i'm going with you then I wanna see how long you survive there 👁️”#She usually does well without his help but he had to save her ass once or twice already#fionna and cake#adventure time fionna and cake#fionna and cake fanart#fionna campbell#marshall lee#adventure time fionna#fionna the human#adventure time marshall lee#adventure time#adventure time fanart
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joining you in the pla ruined my life club. also the idea that people confessing to volo about how much they liked him and they wish he wouldn’t have turned all evil on him would actually make him feel worse bc they just liked a facade? man. trying to hurt me huh. it’s like he’s allergic to genuine connection and is obsessed with making people hate him for no reason
YEAHHH ITS LIKE. what i like abt pokemas's volo is that we're getting a better look at exactly how he thinks and feels and what it is is that he literally. cannot identify when people are being positive to him anymore. he is Always on the defensive as a survival tactic so Everything must be treated as some kind of slight against him or a manipulation. because clearly something happened in the past to make him that distrustful! he literally cannot afford to trust again or whatever made him be this way could happen to him again!
what volo needs is a friend. but he wouldnt know one even if they fell from the sky, collected the plates and then beat his ass at spear pillar.
#asks#clai speaks#''why do i feel so alone. must because no one likes me and not because i dont give them a chance to get close.''#its part of why pla is such a unique and brilliant pokemon experience because volo Never gets any sort of closure#his ending is unsatisfying. you beat him he gets mad at you and then fucks off to god knows where while not changing in the slightest#other villains in the series either get definitively beaten and wont cause trouble anymore or even turn a new leaf#but volo is just. so far gone. he hates everything and everyone and i dont know what it's going to take to actually stop him#he is this uniquely hopeless case in a series all about hope it is So fascinating. i'm going to shake volo like a maraca
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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 6)
I think the main thing we were supposed to see as Star's character flaw wasn't that he was acting proud/arrogant/reckless/badass (I mentioned that it's fine for him to act that way because he deserved it after everything good he did and obviously I still mean it 110%), but how that proud, charming guy was never the real him. He literally lost himself trying to feel worthy and please everyone in town. For years he's been acting the role (for a noble cause) but the price was him losing touch with the nerd he is.
Yet STILL, if only everyone had been a bit more gentle with him, I bet he'd have toned it down during the WE section, and even before that. But they all decided to let him know the truth at the worst possible time, right when he was supposed to make Clover his deputy. Right after they attacked the kid because they were jealous. It was supposed to be the PEAK of Starlo's day and they randomly threw the "we never liked any of this" bomb at him instead of trying to talk it out BEFORE things escalated. I'd be pissed too.
Oh yeah...
... his brother doesn't take him seriously apparently and doesn't realize that staying positive and strong 24/7 is tougher than it looks, especially with Starlo's insecurities (and yeah being a farmer is hard work, but so is being in Star's position; on the contrary, it's even TOUGHER) ...
Orion should try being an entertainer for a day and see what it's like, let alone doing it for years
...Solomon says how Star thought him and Crestina didn't support his life choices...
... and how he rarely talks to his family...
...and it suddenly came to me: in all these years, they didn't ever bother telling him that they did support him? They didn't bother trying to reach out to him more? Understand his passion (Ceroba doesn't get it either; once again, I don't blame Starlo for caring about Clover so much, that kid understood)? Have an honest talk?
No wonder Star stopped interacting with them for the most part. Maybe him feeling worthless came from his family? Who knows (or he was bullied as a kid for being a nerd). In any case, he clearly had to deal with these feelings by himself.
This man's been through some stuff.
P.S. I know he has flaws like everyone, but you've gotta ask yourself the important question: WHY? where did all this come from? But clearly nobody in his life ever asked themselves this. So it all kept building up till he almost killed his deputy for... status. He was SO desperate to feel valued and get his friends back (who made him feel less alone.. but ultimately just left when he needed someone the most, at least ONE person) that he was ready to go all the way to achieve what he'd been lacking his entire life: *feeling like he MATTERED.*
I wonder If he'll ever go 100% back to being his true self. Slim chances :'( this is him now. Half farmer half sheriff
#undertale yellow#uty#starlo uty#uty starlo#why is this character so tragic#without being tragic#i mean the “Ceroba” type of tragic#I'm no psychologist but I sure know feelings like this stem from childhood/adolescence#I'm talking bout the fact starlo literally decided that his life purpose would be pretending to be a sheriff. I repeat. PRETENDING#aka someone important#bc he never felt important#he tried lying to everybody and especially himself#that he was 'great' and 'cool'#bc nobody ever made him feel that way#plus ceroba ditched him for someone more 'serious' she had just met#I have to write about the sentence above soon#like I'm not saying Solomon & crestina are terrible people#But parents..?#Wellll...#I kinda sometimes imagine Star being made fun of by his peers and so he'd always retreat to his room and cry alone#That is#Until he found those western cassettes (I imagine it happened when he was a teen)#So instead of crying#He'd just distract himself for hours and hours#And pretend he was someone with more value who everyone respected#That's how the persona came to be#And so he began to lose touch with his real self more and more#As well as his feelings and problems#Until he just snapped#I can't anymore
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