#I'm not a native speaker so sorry if the phrasing is weird

[aro-absol]

Aro Ring Guide for closeted folk

How to justify your specific ring choices without coming out

If you still live with your parents and can not buy an aro ring without them knowing, they might ask you why exactly it has to be a white ring on the left middle finger. Also works for friends and acquaintances that you cannot or do not want to come out to.

This is what I did when I bought my aro ring and my parents started asking questions.

Just because it worked for me doesn't mean there's a guarantee it'll work for you as well. You know your situation better than me. Be safe!

Why a ring?

This will probably be easier if you're a girl (or your parents think you are), as it is more socially acceptable for women to accessorize than it is for men. However, throughout history it was common for powerful men to wear rings as a symbolism for power and wealth. It also can be a great way for self-expression.

Why the left hand?

If you're right-handed: The left hand is your non-dominant hand. You could say it makes you uncomfortable to wear a ring on your dominant hand because it can be hindering in day to day tasks such as holding a pen.

If you're left-handed: You can say that you like wearing a ring on your dominant hand better because it is more visible. You use your dominant hand more often and therefore more people will notice your ring. Alternatively, if you're wearing a watch (which is typically worn on the non dominant side), you can say you want a more balanced out look so you wear the ring on the opposite hand. This is what many style guides literally recommend when it comes to wearing rings.

Why white?

If you have light skin: You can say that you prefer a ring color that doesn't clash so much with your skin. You want a ring but you like to keep it more subtle. Admittedly, this works better if you're not wearing any other rings. If they ask you why you didn't choose a colorful ring, you can say that you want to be able to wear it with any outfit and don't want to worry about the colors of your clothes clashing with the color of the ring.

If you have dark skin: You can say you want a ring that stands out to your skin. Because if you buy a ring and wear it, you want people to notice. And white is more obvious on your skin than black or a dark metal. If they ask you why you didn't choose a colorful ring, you can say that you want to be able to wear it with any outfit and don't want to worry about the colors of your clothes clashing with the color of the ring.

And if you're somewhere in between, you can always say that you want some contrast to your skin but not too much.

Why the middle finger?

According to some websites I found (x/x/x/x), a ring on the middle finger doesn't really have an assigned meaning. Rings on the middle finger are mostly a fashion statement, apparently. Although a ring on the middle finger might symbolize power, balance and stability. But all in all, nothing that'll make your parents suspicious. I do not know how reliable those sources actually are but they are the first things to come up when you search for the meaning of rings on the middle finger online.

However, googling "white ring left middle finger" leads to aro rings! If you think your parents might google that, be careful!

Other search engines might not give you aro ring results in the top results. (For example, Ecosia does not.)

I hope this helps some of y'all!

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

[txttletale]

Hey ive been following you for a while and I think you have some nice political takes. As an anarchist without adjectives I have seen many of my fellow anarchy enjoyers accuse leninists of being like weird about dictators (when not outright maoist or stalinist). But like as much as I enjoy telling people they're authoritarian for X reason, I don't really think you are? Really weird following you for the memes and staying for the discourse. And the memes.

Anyways if it's alright with you I'd just like a bit of confirmation so what are like your thoughts on Stalin? I think the USSR before him was quite great but between him being a bit of a reactionary and his lust for power it kinda worsened significantly the chances of socialism to flourish about anywhere.

Sorry if I like phrased this whole thing weird its 3 am and I can't sleep also not a native speaker

i have given my thoughts on stalin quite comprehensively here. i personally don't think that the terms "dictator" or "authoritarian" describe anything particularly coherent or useful, but i'm glad you enjoy my blog

[smptm]

If you're comfortable with answering, what exactly is the story in that pic of Stan and Kenny? Is Stan a vampire or did he survive a suicide attempt? Is Kenny trying to soothe him or throw him off? What's the intent behind their actions? I like how it's open to interpretation, but I'm curious what went through your head when you made it

first of all, i absolutely love your interpretations!! you made me look at my artwork from another angle.

firstly, it was intended as a kind of hurt/comfort picture about sick love. stan had a despairated and scared look. he had a panick attack, and kenny tried to calm him down by caressing his hair. however, kenny was supposed to be the reason for stan's breakdown. he was a dubious character in my mind. i planned to do a piercing, alarming atmosphere of something impending from kenny's side.

i'd been working on this drawing since may... soooo my moods and thoughts changed a lot. that's why the plot and atmosphere of the art changed with my emotions (always negative but different shades). that's why it's so ambiguous.

finally, kenny is the good boy. i even wanted to draw him angel wings... yes, it's still about stan's breakdown. kenny gives him a chance for help. stanley wants to be saved and wants to push kenny away at the same time. he stops kenny's hand and squeezes it. he doesn't know if he should pull or push it. stan is lost and tired and can't properly think...

well, all my arts are kinda personal, it's firstly about feelings.

sorry about my grammar or any weird phrases, i'm not native speaker.

and thanks for your question and for your support. i really appreciate it.

[just-a-carrot]

Hi! According to introduction on Tumblr, Genzou hates people touching his hair, and I'd like to ask if this point comes through anywhere in the main game, I don't really remember. But what I want to ask more is! If Iggy puts Genzou's head against his chest, and then touches his hair, feels his hair curling in his hands, and smells Genzou's hair. Would Genzou try to rub up against Iggy, though it feels a bit ooc, it's such a fascinating image to imagine! And what would Genzou's hair smell like?

HELP WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT????

........*goes to check*

"who loves his favorite pal so much dear god do not touch a hair on his god damn head or he will fucking murder you"

Oh gosh djfjdjdj 😭💦 I'm so sorry!! This doesn't mean he doesn't like his hair touched -- it's an English phrase, which in this context means "if anyone hurts Iggy, he will kill them" FJFJDJR 💦 I'm so sorry it was confusing 🥺 that would indeed be a weird phrase if you're not a native English speaker 😵‍💫

I think Genzou would very much like getting his head rubbed/scratched actually and he would totally cuddle up like that with Iggy if given the chance dhdjdhd 🤣 He'd probably smell like cigarette smoke and corn chips LOL

[balkanradfem]

Lol I am so sorry if I worded that in a weird way. I don't know if you are making fun of me or not, honestly, so I'm not going to assume you are.

I know a few people who are married. Some of them are religious and that's why they did it. Some of them did it for convenience because one spouse had like health insurance that could extend to their partner and child if they got married. Some of them did it because it was "the next step", so basically, social pressure and lack of questioning. What I meant to ask I guess was, do you think women give up authority over their own bodies in any kind of straight relationship or only once they get legally married (for the reasons I mentioned before)? I'm asking in good faith, but I'm not a native english speaker so I'm sorry if I'm failing to express myself properly

oh okay, thank you for phrasing it better.

I should clarify that the post about giving up some of the reproductive rights is inspired by this post, that I wrote a few hours earlier.

Historically, women were expected to completely give up the control over their reproductive rights to their husband, and in a lot of places it's still like this. In rural areas it's completely expected of a woman. In certain religions, it's also completely expected and even mandatory for the entire female population, and the point of marriage. And I also find that in the modern marriage, women are mostly looking for a m*n who will respect them, love them and their children, share the burden of raising kids and generally make a safe and loving environment in their home. A lot of m*n have figured this out, and have found it easy to act the part for long enough so a woman would get married and pregnant, and by the time she realized she's been tricked into hell, she will be dependent, blamed for it, pressured to keep being married, and face big financial and personal consequences if she wants out. How many women find out they've been married to an abuser only a few years into marriage? It's enough to conclude that we don't have a clear, well-informed and easily reversible choice in the matter.

If a woman refuses to give up the right over her reproductive abilities in marriage, she is socially considered less valuable, will be shamed, pressured, and is at risk of her husband being defended and even sympathized with if he leaves her. That is also a lot of consequences that no woman should bear for defending her own body and her rights.

A lot of women just do what is pressured and expected out of them, and give up their rights from the fear of social banishment. A lot don't even consider or know another option, we're raised to believe we exist to bear children for m*n. There can be an oddball exception here and there, but in the majority, the m*n are still actively in control of women's reproductive rights by the institution of marriage.

[artichow]

Hey! It’s CureDeity (sorry tumblr makes me ask from my main). I am here, in your inbox today, to rattle my little empty coin can and ask you to list some of your favorite beyblade fanfics! I’m going around asking a lot of people this, so feel free to ignore it if you want, but I thought this might be a good way for people to shout out some of the fanfic they really enjoy! Btw, if you can, I thought it would be helpful to list which site this fic was on so others could find it easier if they wanted to. Also, if you’ve written any fic (or have fic ideas, as we all know, imagining the same scene over and over again is the bread and butter of a writer), please also take this chance to have a massive, amazing ego and tell us which of your fics you're most proud of/is your favorite/etc.

oooohh yes yes yes!!!

i'll preface this by saying that i haven't/don't read as much fanfics as i want to and there are just so many amazing stories being made in this fandom honeslty!! also as a non native english speaker i'm always blown away by certain phrases or paragraphs that just scrtch my brain just right it's really inspiring to see what people can do with words in different ways and styles.

So first i thought about @little-christmas-song's secret santa gift to me so this is christmas (the war is over) because TFRGEHYSJ IT IS!!! so good!!! i loved reading it, the ideas and just the feeling of the setting being so well built around me while i read it!! the characterization was so good and that's really amazing because ryuga is a hassle to write right imo,, anyway really amazing style and i can't wait for other pieces from Song (i can confidently say the next one will be a banger :>)

then from @artisadie, her fic the previous wielder (is just a guy) was so emotional and like so nuanced too? like grhjesk i loved it the vibes were really good and the structure made it really pleasant to read

so many others i have to read (i'm sorry guysss) but one fic from @lady-lazagna that i felt was really on point character wise was Pumpkin head it is such a good Yu characterization me think and also Tsubasa's character is really interesting when laz writes him!! makes me appreciate him so much more

I really really loved @andro-dino's toby fic this body of mine, it's been a while and i forgot a lot of it unfortunately but i remember being just !!!!!! aaaaa so touched by that fic like,, it's so well written and just hits close to home in subtle ways and just makes you love Tioby even more if that's possible

But but but i also really loved constants because,, hyoma. And axel writes hyoma so well and i just love him so much

okay now for your fic deity!!! i have,, a lot but i tried to make it a little smaller selection, here it is: first i think aquario's refrain (and also aquario's reawakening) really marked me it's such a good read and expendation on hikaru's character and just,, so so good,, the way you write hikaru's mental health issues and fights is just amazing!!

then i looked through ao3 real quick just now and i thought back to mayblade, the last day actually!! chapter 18: moon this. this gingka, the way he is written and also just how you managed to write so many characters and keep the rythm going and just write an amazing conclusion in general aaaa i still love it immensely

and last but not least Gingka's also adopted?! because man... MAN!!! this fic kncked me down kicked me and brought me back to life and gave me just one of the best aus and ryo characterization ever i just love it it's so good i think it might be my favorite deity fanfic! everything, the different times it takes place in, the phoenix bit especially and just,, the feels so many feels

alright and also i want to take this opportunity to thank the people i've talked to and shared my silly headcanons, ocs and au ideas with, it really is a huge source of joy for me to connect with people through art, through this weird 13yo show we're invested in for one reason or the other. And even though i struggle with writing/can never finish any wip or plan any story for some reason i just love thinking about aus and my shoyo being part of this world too, thinking way too deeply about hyoma or ryuga's characters :') so thank you everyone who has let met talk about all of that with them i love you <3 and thank you for sharing your little aus, ideas, your ocs and everything in between with me too, it's really an immense pleasure to read and exchange about them every time!!

[you-can-reclaim-your-crown]

i understand you completely! it's the same for me except i'm a native english speaker lmao. but the fact that you're willing to write a story in english despite it being your 3rd language is already an impressive feat, you should be proud! here's a protip in case you need it, consider searching these terms if you find yourself unable to properly convey your thoughts into your writing: (insert word or phrase here) synonym, (insert word or phrase here) definition, (insert word or phrase here) antonym. don't worry about it though really, i do think that art is challenging and difficult to create - be it drawing, writing or videos - it does require a lot of practice and studying to be able to reach a certain level of skill but it doesn't matter as long as you keep trying and giving your best! at the end of the day, more than anything else i think effort is of the utmost importance and it'll definitely reflect in one's works. i'm wishing you the best and i look forward to what you have in store <3 will you be posting it on ao3? the mods will add it to the sukugoweek collection if you tag your work with sukugoweek2023. i found out that they'll be accepting submissions until january 3rd so there's still plenty of time left! if you wish to post more than 1 fic, please feel free to do so too. they also just added a special prompt for gojo's birthday, you might want to use it if the opportunity arises haha. aw it's no problem, i'm happy to know that i was able to help you in some way <3 yes i feel you, these bitches had me in a chokehold since 2021 when i first got into jjk! it's going to be my 3rd year of brainrot soon in a couple of months, time flies so fast...

You really do say the sweetest things🫶🏻 i get a little message like this and i feel so happy it's almost embarrassing.

Languages are so weird.

How are "English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though."

And

"Gore gore gore gore"(croatian) even real?? Whoever decided this: buddy, you blew it. Super hard. Complete buffoonery.

Special prompt you say..🤔 it does give me some ideas...

i might have underestimated how long this is going to be. My plan was a one shot and a little bonus chapter/epilogue-ish thing. But we will see. Maybe i have to split the main chapter.

I think i started to ship them around October 27th, so I'm a sukugo baby. It's the first gojo ship I'm really invested in. I'm fond of nanago but it's just that.

(Shout-out to 0bstinate for this one sukugo on 'it is not enough to love you' post. That really got my gears turning... you're a hero)

And then it his my lika a truck. They have everything I'm into: enemies-to-lovers, honoured/fallen one, red+blue, canabilism as love language (bc i like them a little fucked up), monsterfuckery, i hate everyone but you, unhinged x unhinged, corruption/redemption etc. let's be honest their fight was basically foreplay. Archenemies? Kinda gay if you ask me.

Aaaand I'm rambling again😅sorry

But to answer your question: yes I'm going to post in on ao3. Because fuck anxiety, we are so back bitches. And I'm a people pleaser and you encouraged me, so you are my people to please. Sorry buddy but you are not getting out of it now.

Anyway my reply is probably a bit all ower the place. I didn't sleep well, I'm tired and i accidentally deleted my reply before so i had to typ it again.

I really really appreciate that you took your time and wrote me❤️ thank you from the bottom of my heart

[caixxa]

A1,A 2, B6, B9, BASICALLY ALL OF THE C QUESTIONS! PLS I WANT TO KNOW! (if you feel like responding lmao) thank you, love you and hope you are having a really nice day! <3

Sorry that it took so long to answer! I had a hellish day and we live on almost opposite time zones, so.

A1: When did you start reading fanfiction?

Summer 2016, after Euro 2016. As an adult, well past 30, I rediscovered the fun of being A Fan.

A2: How did you find your first fic?

I googled, learned new search phrases to google until I found the stuff I really liked. I think the first searches were like "Gareth Bale fan fiction" and the really effective one that I think finally led me to Ao3 (I have no idea what the first sites were) was more in the way of "Cristiano ronaldo gareth bale m/m slash" lol. I read only as a guest user for months, I didn't make my own account until I wanted to write and post my own work.

B6. What is your favourite story trope? Why?

Friends to lovers with sexual exploration on the way. Seductive younger man developing in a twisted power balance/imbalance relationship with an older man. Stuff with sexual tension and a vibe of something forbidden.

B9. Who is your OTP?

I'm such a multi-shipper! I always say it's Aho/TT because they are soulmates and the Finnish connection and two cherubs who share a brain on the ice and fly together and are stupid codependent bros. But I've come to think that the true OTP is Sepe/mentors and authority figures. I came to that conclusion when I heard on the Canes Corner podcast that in his first interviews, he always mentioned Ron Francis, and I couldn't but nod along. Of course he did. A franchise legend who drafted him, of course. He still mentioned him on the Siim Liivik podcast like last summer, you know. He loves Rod, he loves Pekka, he loves Justin Williams, he was so into Burns being traded to the Canes. He's a fireball on the ice but off the ice, his daddy kink can be seen from SPACE.

THe C section:

What trope are you tired of reading? Why? Self-harm or suicide as a romantic plot point. It should be self-explanatory, I detest all variations of the trope where romantic counterpart saves the protagonist from shit they should figure out with themselves first, especially if there is a "love as a miracle cure" element to it. I feel similarly about th "you deserve better, let me save you from your abusive relationship by making you mine". No. If this happens from a base of friendship and they develop love later, that works, but falling in love as a cure because The One Sees Your Beauty When Others Don't is yucky. Elaborate proposals in front of an audience gathered specifically to celebrate the occasion as peak romance is so weird too, maybe I just don't get American wedding culture. (These tropes are more present in m/f imagines than m/m rpf, tho)

What word or expression always makes you cringe when you read it? "Too" when it's supposed to be "to" is the only one of those that I often see in fic writing, but in general, "Their" when you mean "They're" or "it's" for "its" when native speakers do it... IT'S YOUR OWN LANGUAGE! HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THE EASY ONES RIGHT?

Is there anything that makes you nope out of a story? What is it? Double spacing between each paragraph. I know that it's mostly because the Ao3 rich text editor doesn't copy/paste google docs right. I will have to be REALLY drawn into the story and want to read it really bad to struggle through that.

What thing that fandom loves do you actually kind of hate? Why? Hockey fights. They're so unnecessary, they're just an example of the American fixation on violence and vigilante justice. It's okay to me that hockey is a rough game, cross checking and body checking is absolutely fine by me, but dropping the gloves.. it's such a stupid, primitive thing to do. Hockey does fine without it. I know this is unpopular bc y'all love violence. I see all the wrestling posts y'know, and all the "hot" tags in hockey fight posts. *points at all directions, staring judgementally*

What character that fandom loves are you just kinda “meh” about? Why? Hockey players: Anthony Beauvillier. This is just about his looks, I don't see what most people see, he looks so plain to me.

Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why did you hate it? Are we still talking hockey/sports because all i read is sports rpf? Well, I used to like F1 but Ihave very little interest in it now. I just don't think that a motorsport that is done on vehicles for no other use than driving on these extensive tracks made of concrete and asphalt just for it is just gross. In rally, there is at least something organic (lol) and relatable. Also, the last Cristiano Ronaldo fic I read was after his transfer to Juventus, after that I think he's made a fool of himself.

Who is your NOTP? Sepe/Seth Jarvis, Sepe/Jordan Martinook. I think it's bc I have zero attraction to the other guy haha, plus Jarvy only gives me goofy little brother vibes, not ship vibes. Also, Cressi was the big ship when I entered football rpf and I could see the two superstars, rivals, el clasico etc etc intellectually but I just sensed no chemistry between cr7 and messi whatsoever so it's always been kinda NOTP for me.

What is one plot twist you wish people would stop using?  Do all the plot twists your heart desires, man, writing is supposed to be fun! But what I said in C1 counts here too.

What show did you really try to watch, but you just couldn’t? This happens with all the shows. I watch a few episodes but can't find the time to finish them. I also skipped a lot (most) of NHL games last season because I need to sleep.

What book could you just never get into, no matter how hard you tried? I don't try hard with my reading, if I don't like the book I quit. The hardest I've tried was probably War and Peace which I read so slowly that I eventually forgot what had happened before and kinda drifted off it after maybe 20%.

Thank you for the ask and have a super duper fine summer!!

(the ask game post is this)

[redtalksaboutstuffandthings]

I was apologizing to a customer today, for something completely trivial, which made me realize something. You know the YouTuber non-apology? That classic "I'm sorry you feel that way" deal? I think the reason why it's such a contentious way to apologize is that it's in a weird position of being simultaneously an apology and not an apology. In order to explain, I need to ramble a bit, so...

Right, so... the problem with the phrase "I'm sorry you feel that way" is that it's incomplete. It just doesn't contain the necessary context needed to understand exactly what is being said. Grammatically, it's a complete sentence, but it's ambiguous. As a result, there are (I think) two ways that a sentence like that could potentially be completed:

#1: "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way"

This version is unambiguously an apology. Adding those three words in the middle points to a very specific behavior, that you feel is the reason you're apologizing. With YouTubers and other influencers, specifically, I'd personally go for "that I made anyone" feel that way. That'd allow the apology to have a sort of global appeal, for anyone who hears it, and it also has the side-benefit of being able to be linked into a declaration of principles. (You'd basically be saying "I don't ever want anyone to feel <blank>, that's not what I'm about.")

#2: "I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way"

This version is not an apology. Perhaps it might sound that way to a non-native English speaker? It's got "I'm sorry" in it? However, this particular sentence is doing a lot of work, saying a lot of things in a very polite and efficient way. The phrase "I'm sorry," in this case, is used basically in the same context as one might say "I'm sorry," upon hearing that somebody has lost a loved one. Rephrased, "I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way," could be more clearly said as "It makes me sad to hear that you feel this way," and that is a critical difference. That sentence is usually trotted out for differences of opinion. It recognizes that somebody disagrees with something, and that their opinions are valid, but that the speaker will not be making any changes and thus, any disagreement they have probably can't be reconciled.

Now, the fun part of this is, trying to figure out which version your theoretical social media influencer is using. Are they giving a genuine (but suboptimally worded) apology, or are they doing some weird word magic to dance around the issue, like they're afraid of owing a favor to the Fae? Overwhelmingly, which side of the argument you fall on seems to be based on whether or not you liked the person, before the apology. If you did, you're more likely to read the non-apology as option 1. If you didn't, you go for option 2. Since most people on social media aren't fans of a given apologizing influencer, this means that a majority of people will opt for option 2, while the so-called "die hard audience" will hang around the comment section accepting the apology at face value.

Which one is more likely to be the truth? I have no idea. I wouldn't think there was any benefit in faking an apology, in doing all the steps to look like you're making an apology video only to play some lexical sleight of hand at the last second. We're not Fae. People can just lie and say they're sorry. At the same time, however, the fact that that one phrase keeps popping up seems to suggest that, either fake-apologies are accepted practice, or we've just all internalized a version of a workable apology that is fundamentally broken.

In either case, it seems like the answer is pretty blatantly obvious. Just add more words. Give people the context. If you're actually trying to apologize, there's good odds that the people you're apologizing to don't trust you, and are going to read ill intent in every word you do and don't say. Give that draft a second look-over, and make sure you're actually saying sorry like a proper adult.

Oh, and also make sure you start the apology by sighing. That works wonders.

[wenellyb]

I'm not your last anon but I just read your reply and the double standard between white mcu actors and actors of color is so blatant it's ridiculous. After Tenoch Huerta was cast,white fandom went on a Twitter hunt to specifically look for problematic stuff and ppl who can't even speak a word of Spanish put some tweets through google translate without asking any native speakers to understand tone and nuance to accuse him of terrible s*it. This was just a few hours after the rumors about his casting was posted on sm. He posts a lot of political memes on IG and sometimes he also mocks yt feminism (Love him for that) so don't be surprised if you see yt women accuse him of being a misogynist. After Alejandro González Iñárritu (Mexican director) criticized superhero movies, RDJ's condescending and racist response was "It's really impressive for a man whose first language is Spanish to be able to use the phrase 'cultural genocide'" but when Scorsese criticized MCU,he took him very seriously and responded respectfully. The fandom didn't even react,it was all ~crickets~ and weird MCU fandom kept acting like he was their god and the sun shines out of that man's ass. (When it comes to that man,MCU fanbase turns into a cult) Their precious lil innocent bean S.Stan hung out with the racist abuser he played in his show (A show that was made without the permission of the woman whose trauma they were exploiting for the award season) and they still act like that FORTY year old man is a clueless baby who can do no wrong. Salty yt feminists have no qualms about accusing men of color (Especially black and brown men) of being a scary threat to their white costars and to demonize them. When the new Star Wars movies were first released, yt Reylos on the internet were making up disgusting stuff about John Boyega and acting like he was a big scary threat to pure innocent Daisy Ridley's safety even though she kept praising him, talking about how close they were and always stayed physically close and comfortable around him. They kept talking about how much they needed to save her from him. FOR NO REASON.Even when they praise black or brown men for their attractiveness,sometimes it feels really uncomfortable to read bc they sound like they're talking about an animal instead of a human being. (Some comments I've seen about Winston Duke were really alarming) I expect the same kind of uncomfortable comments about Tenoch after BP2 is released bc as a Latino man,he's destined to get obnoxiously sexualized by ppl with ~ LaTiN lOvEr~ fantasies 😑

Hi Anon, sorry for replying late. Fandoms are all the same and it's scary. Unless we're in a really small fandom, we always have to deal with this kind of nonsense.

[aita-catventures]

Hi it's me. I am so sorry if people were upset by "born wrong" because I'm not a native English speaker and I didn't know that'd sound actually mean or something in English. It's kinda weird and mean how you all jumped to that conclusion just because I was really upset though. That's not nice and I'm not inviting a pity party over because it's really a hugely bad accusation to make. I'm not ableist, what the hell? The other post claiming this ask needed a tw for ableism is also by a pretty dumb person, sorry not sorry! I shouldn't be expected to be perfect at the English language, but I didn't mean to upset/offend anyone so I'm sorry for that.

Honestly, I sent this ask a week ago, and despite all this, even though I've been miserable for the past week, I still love my cousin. Because, uh, he's my fucking cousin and I adore him and he's just a kid? Sure I freaked out but my emotions were valid, my ACTIONS weren't and that's why I sent this aita to begin with. I honestly voted yta for MYSELF for this just of how miserable it made me to reread my own ask. Age doesn't excuse assholery, EVER, but I'm still only 15 and some of the wild conclusions you guys jumped to was insane and ridiculous and HURTFUL. But whatever.

I also have moderate adhd, if it matters any, and I'm not dehumanising anyone! I typed something in a moment of anger and grief ("born wrong" isn't a nice thing to say, it sounded better in my mother tongue) and it's weird how everyone fixated over just that when I tried to respect my cousin for his disorder throughout the ask, even if I see that I've sorta failed at that.

Additional info because I noticed some repetitive questions:

I was left alone with him to begin with because my mom took a quick shopping trip, shops and apartments are very tightly packed together in our city. I've babysat for him before and this was never an issue because I've learnt how to handle him. Times are really tough where we are, I won't disclose any more, but my family has appreciated me helping them with this thus far. My family's not ableist either! I didn't "learn this language" from people around me or the internet, you guys need to stop EXPECTING that everyone's fluent in English. It's uncomfortable.

"kids can't be trusted around animals to begin with" "why did you leave him alone with that cat "why didn't you take your cat to the bathroom with you" okay like I stated, Velvet was a very very lazy baby boy. He slept like ALL the time and didn't even move besides eating or going to his litter box. Also, my cousin had pretty much ignored or just randomly hugged Velvet up to that point. Stop saying weird or horrifying things like "kill him" in the notes! What is wrong with you?!?!?!? He DIDN'T KNOW. He COULDN'T have known, okay? We need to accept that some kids or people are simply like this. There are so many disorders that can have extreme and/or hurtful outcomes. It doesn't mean we should be ableist or discriminatory, it means we need to be aware that this is a problem, regardless.

We're 100% positive he threw him and the cat didn't fall because, other than the fact that Velvet was a scaredy-cat (pun not intended), we checked the cameras in our living room. We have cameras by the windows because thieves are a huge problem here, even at several stories high.

Thank you to the nicer people in the notes because it made me relieved to know that there are better options for this situation. I will talk politely to my mom (who shortened my grounding from 5 days to 3 out of sympathy) and my aunt and her husband about this. And no thank you to people telling me to "better myself" on the ableism front because they sound like people who will take a tiny phrase that someone says in a moment of very heated pain and choose to define that as their whole personality without taking into consideration anything else. Smh. Also since this site was very helpful, thank you mods.

AITA for banning a child from my house?

It's not my child, btw- it's my cousin, an 8 y/o autistic boy. I am 15 and it's technically not my house.

For context, my cousin has EXTREMELY severe autism, to the point where he quite literally cannot form any connections with people and does not sit down at all. He is always running around, yelling in garbled speech, and doesn't understand words, sentences, or commands. He only responds to his name when his mother calls it. He isn't intelligent mentally, either. I do love him a lot in spite of how he has never paid attention to me or treats both me and everyone else around him as though they don't exist.

I have (had?) a cat. I have raised this cat for 3 years and I got this little furball when he was only 2 weeks old. I gave him milk and cared for him so, so much. He was a Persian-British mix and was, frankly, pretty dumb and sleepy all the time. Like a little doll.

My cousin also, apparently, decided that my cat, Velvet, was doll-like, because he grabbed Velvet and refused to let the cat go. I was in the bathroom at the time and only heard the cat's mewing. Nobody else was home. My cousin thought it would be nice to throw Velvet out of the window. Our 4th-story window. Velvet was a spoilt little thing and had never really lived outside of a house, and consequently, died. My cousin? Didn't care. Just went away from the open window and went back to running around the house.

I came out only a few seconds later and was very confused as to just WHERE was the previously mewing cat, and obviously I couldn't just ask my cousin, since he can't talk and wouldn't be able to think of it either. My mom found the fucking CORPSE when she came back home. I was horrified and, while I don't think this was the proper thing to do to a little boy who has absolutely ZERO awareness of his surroundings, I proceeded to absolutely scream my head off at my cousin while grabbing his arm, which resulted in an absolute meltdown from him and my aunt (who had also just arrived) having to physically pry me off him as I was crying. I don't think I can be really blamed for being upset over my cousin KILLING my BELOVED PET just because he was born wrong. I also sort of yelled at my aunt to never come here or bring her son here ever again. My mother has severely chastised me for that and had ME grounded. What the fuck. Mental illnesses aren't all sunshine and rainbows, y'all. Ugh. I feel like I AM the asshole, but honestly. Consider the circumstances. I hate it here and I miss my fucking cat.

[cherrywoodmaeg]

Shortcut, Pt. 1

Note: I never set out to write this stuff down, but, y'know, sometimes daydreams stick around, and the people in them become actual characters. That's what's happened to me with Jon and Niphka. This is the obligatory disclaimer that I'm not a native speaker, so please excuse any weird phrasing. I'm really not a fiction writer, but these characters have become important to me so I feel like I owe them.

A traitor's prologue

“Jonathan P. Williams, I hereby convict you for mutiny against your captain and your king. Your punishment will be enacted shortly.”

Everything had started so smoothly. Jon’s first few days as a rigger on the HMS Triumph had been a dream come true. Not in every way, of course. His work required physical strain and, furthermore, an indifference to heights. While the tall, lanky man had received snarky comments along the line of “How’s the weather up there?”, he generally wasn’t one to seek out the thrill of the edge. And no one would have ever suspected that he would voluntarily set foot on a ship. Or crave the rough life of a sailor.

Following the captain’s damning words, Gregson and Doyle each gripped one of his arms and pulled him down to the prison quarter. Jon tried to go easy on his injured leg, but the two men dragged with along without regard. They pushed him into the dark room, making no attempt to hide their glee.

“Sorry, no last meal for mutineers,” Doyle snarled.

“You might have time for another beauty nap, though. Get your chances up for the angels to take you with’em!”

Gregson slammed the door shut. The laughter still echoed in Jon’s ears after there was nothing more to hear.

Sighing, he pulled himself onto the narrow plank bed. He fumbled a candle stump and matches from his ragged, wet coat, his fingers trembling. It took a few attempts, but the small cone of yellow light cut through the dark and illuminated his haggard face.

How had things turned so sour so soon? Despite the rough conditions, he had enjoyed every second on board. The smell of the open sea was unmatched and satisfied a longing he had chased after for his whole life. Not even Doyle and Gregson could take this from him. The two had picked him out from the very beginning; two brutish men inflating their egos by tormenting the inexperienced loner. He could have arranged with the comments about his neatly combed, mid-length hair and neat appearance. He wasn’t that great with people anyway.

But then he accidentally stumbled upon the true mission of the HMS Triumph. Not to patrol the Southwest Sea, but to travel upwards to the north on the continent and invade Millersby, A small, peaceful port city. And his hometown.

This would have upset anybody, but Jon didn’t have the time to draft a plan. Gregson and Doyle had caught him and made it very clear that he would not get out of this. No words were needed. The kicks and hits said enough. Jon’s final hopes of blowing up this conspiracy had vanished into air when he realized that the ship’s captain was the head of the invasion. And here he was.

“Six days,”. He examined his lower leg. The stench of sweat, saltwater and blood made his eyes tear up.

“Six goddamn days!” he yelled. “That’s how long I’ve made it as a sailor. Amazing. Wonderful. Perfect.”

His chest was tight, the pain of his sobs a distraction from what he could see in the flickering light. His ankle looked bad, really bad. Well, he wouldn’t have long to suffer from it.

Jon grit his teeth and forcefully swallowed his sobs. A way out. I need a way out.

Or maybe he should pray? A hysteric wheeze escaped his mouth. This was it, might as well try.

Please, just- If anyone is listening, please get me out.

But which God would listen to him? He had nothing to offer. His eyes locked onto the flame, the warmth emanating to his face. He took a shaky breath.

“Jonathan P. Williams,” he quietly recited. “Son of James and Catherine Williams, brother of two. Learned carpenter, recently rigger on His Majesty’s Ship Triumph. I promise to the Gods that I have been a good man, that I have done no harm to others, man or animal. I seek in my dying hour the grace of those who lay their eyes on me to judge my life’s deeds.”

Jon had never really believed in higher powers, but his parents would be appalled if they knew he had skipped on these final words. And at least the verses had slowed his breaths and steadied him.

Gregson and Doyle would lead a calm, collected man to his death.

Part 1 > Part 2

[absurdthirst]

Hey Keri i just have 2 dumb questions i mean i just start to read here like two months ago and i'm totally in love with fics here, like i feel this is my safe place, but you think it would be weird left the reblog with a comment on spanish (i'm latina) like it's seems everyone here only english speakers and sometimes i want to leave in spanish cause my english is not very good (i'm using translation now lol) but i feel the writer will feel uncomfortable maybe they will not understand, besides is not the spanish neutral is like my actually leaguage with words that maybe will be not understanding.

And there is something else, when i read i may not take seriously what i'm reading like, even if is angst (or worst if is with smut) i can't help myself making jokes about it and sometimes i just focus on that, and maybe if i just comment only jokes and not something about the actual fanfic or if i like it, that will not be gentle with the writer or she/he they will feel like i don't appreciate what they wrote.

This is too long sorry 😭 i'm just feel new here and i don't want people get mad

First off, no question is dumb. So please don't worry about that.

HELL YES! Reblog in Spanish! Catch me breaking out my own translator when I don't understand a word or phrase. I know I would love it and there are quite a few in the fandom that are fluent/native speakers who would probably get a great thrill out of seeing reblogs as well.

As far as cracking jokes, I don't think that anyone would take offense. I love knowing what people think when they read my works. Even if it's a dirty or weird joke.

We love anything. Keyboard smashing, emojis, just we love getting feedback.

I promise you this, if you want to reblog anything of mine in Spanish, I will use my own bad Spanish to try to respond. ❤️

[haxyr3]

Привет!

I've got to read ~40 poems from 1800-1950 for my russian class... After just 8 weeks of class. Our teacher has admitted they'd be a bit difficult 😅 but I'm struggling loads. Do you have any ideas as to how I can work through this poetry with so little knowledge? Example poems are Поэт, Арион, Exegi Monumentum from Pushkin and then other poets like Федор Тютчев, Осип Мандельштам, Александр Блок...

I've got to be prepared to discuss them in depth in January and to discuss linguistic features and meaning, but I'm struggling even with the language.

Do you have any tips for managing poetry in russian or wrapping my head around it? Sorry that this is a bit of a messy and undirected ask but I'm really struggling :/

Привет!

Wow, I don’t even know where to start.

First of all, this is not a surprise that you are struggling with the Russian classic poetry. Many native Russian speakers struggle with classic Russian poems dated back 1800 a lot! Obsolete vocabulary, outdated grammar, and the events they referred to are way out of the sight of the modern readers. To put in mildly, I would never use those poems to teach my students, unless they are advanced students with strong background in Russian history, literature and linguistics.

For example, in the poem Арион that you mentioned the following words are not familiar to the modern readers, because they are either obsolete or uncommon:

челн - a boat;

кормщик - helmsman (he who is responsible for steering a ship)

лоно  - bosom;

риза - clothe.

Some words are spelled in an obsolete way:

- вихорь instead of вихрь, whirlwind

There are a few short adjectives used:

полн - instead of полный, full

мощны - instead of мощные, strong, powerful.

Even if you knew these words, you wouldn’t recognize them in their short form.

Add the outdated syntax, adverbial participles and other rare piculiarities - and you get a puzzle rather than a poem.

Though the poem depicts a ship being wrecked in a storm, it is a metaphor for the Decembrist revolt. Many friends of Pushkin were exiled, and some were even executed, but somehow Pushkin survived relatively unharmed,  - and hence, the image of the poet who survived a fatal accident. If you don’t know the Russian history and the complicated connections between Pushkin and Decembrists, you wouldn’t understand what this poem is about even if you could decipher the outdated vocabulary and weird syntax.

And this is just one poem...

Let me be blunt: If I were you, I would look for another teacher. Unless you are not doing your major in Russian literature.

Many Russian филологи are kinda obsessed with the Russian poetry and wholeheartedly believe that it is the best Russian culture ever produced. Which could be true, but it doesn’t mean that non-native speakers should use it as a learning materials after just 8 weeks of studies.

If switching a teacher is not an option, then here is what I can suggest from the practical point of view:  

- Try to find a translation for each poem you have in your list; this is how you could understand what it is about.

- When possible, try to find notes, explanations, analysis - many poems require deep knowledge of the cultural background, and the notes, explanations could be very helpful. (Native Russian speakers use notes, too, if they want to learn more about a poem).

That would help you to get prepared for the discussion.

- Write down all “dark“, unclear phrases and expressions - and bombard your teacher with your questions. This is how you demonstrate your sincere interest and let the teacher know that the poems are not quite adequate for the learning purpose.  

- Maybe, start with more modern poems and move backward in time. (Maybe not, because Мандельштам and Блок often refer to Пушкин and other classic poets, and somehow you are supposed to catch those references). Well, at least, the language would be easier.

Honestly, if I were to teach Exegi Monumentum to Russian kids, I would start with the dictionary! WTF is Александрийский столп? Who is пиит?  What does “И назовет меня всяк сущий в ней язык,” mean? (hint: язык = tribe, ethnicity, an obsolete meaning of this word) etc.

I am very sorry that you have to go through all of this. Definitely, this is how the language should never be taught. Imagine an ESL teacher offering The Canterbury Tales to students on the week 8 of the course! I can only hope that you won’t lose your enthusiasm for learning Russian.

Please don’t hesitate to message me, and the best of luck!

[galaxywhump]

Hey Marti, I'm a huge fan of your writing and I was wondering if I could ask for some writing advice? I love writing in English, but I'm very self-conscious about it. I feel like I suck at grammar, use weird constructions and subconsciously translate from my language. You're not a native speaker either but your stuff is flawless and reads smoothly and I'm dying to know your secrets and tips on how to improve and make my writing more natural. Sorry for being a bother, have a great day! :)

Hi! You’re not being a bother by any means! Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ I’m not the best at giving advice, but here’s some methods I use when I’m unsure about something in English:

1. freecollocation.com - it’s a handy collocation dictionary which I regularly use to check which adjectives or verbs collocate with a specific noun, e.g. which adjectives you can use to describe someone's voice.

2. Language corpora, such as the Corpus of Contemporary American English. It works like a search engine: you search for a specific word or phrase, and the results show whether the phrase appears frequently or not, and if it does, which contexts it usually appears in - literary, academic, colloquial, etc. It’s really helpful for determining whether a given phrase is natural or not, and whether it’s not too “schoolish” for creative writing.

3. Searching for specific phrases via google - if you use quotation marks with a phrase you want to look up (e.g. ”as if he has” - I wasn’t sure if “has” was a correct tense to use in this structure), the results will only include that exact phrase, word for word. Great for determining if the phrase even exists, if it’s common, and if it’s used by trustworthy sources. I can’t remember what phrase that was, but one time the only source that showed up was a website auto-translated into English from Chinese - so that was a pretty clear sign that I... shouldn’t use it.

4. Regular contact with the language! Talking to native speakers, watching movies, TV series, playing video games, reading books, watching YouTube - every form helps a lot with getting a better feel of the language.

5. Asking someone to beta-read for you, and/or asking when you’re having doubts - I was just pestering some fellow writers in a discord server, actually. When you’re not sure about how common and natural a phrase you want to use is, no one will be more reliable than someone who lives in an (in this case) English-speaking country.

If anyone has other tips, feel free to add!