#I'm no longer afraid of death if she's the one I get to see | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

written-in-flowers · 1 month ago

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Dying Twice: Thanos x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Thanos / Choi Subong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, smut

Word Count: 5k

Summary: "The heart no longer races when hearing the music play, tryna pull up. Seems like time has stopped. Oh, that would be my first death I been always afraid of" - BTS "Black Swan"

Or you should be scared to play the games, but what is the point in fear if you've already died once? What else is there?

Tags: k-rapper!reader, angst, mentions of drug use, drug use, mentions of partying, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, dom/sub undertones (if you look closely), slight choking.

****

You really landed yourself in a bind this time. As if getting scammed and having to scrape to get by, you sunk low enough to end up here…wherever here was. You still couldn't figure out what kind of place the masked men brought you to. In colors of sickening pink and eye sore yellow, the maze of stairs reminded you of a painting you'd seen. The stairs went up and down and side to side. They went upside-down and sideways. Like with that, you had trouble gauging the path to your destination. Perhaps that didn't matter. You followed the rest of the players through the maze guarded by masked men. They said you'd be playing games for a cash prize. It sounded too good to be true…

But you couldn't pass it up.

Standing in line to have your photo taken, someone tapped your shoulder. You turned to see a young woman with a short ponytail standing with an excited smile on her face. A pang of dread hit you when you recognized the signs.

“You're B.Kat,” she beamed, getting a better look at your face. “From The Rap Battleground. I've listened to all your songs, and went to your shows! Oh my god, this is so cool! I love your music!”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I saw you at The Rap Battleground,” she continued, “When they paired you up with that one rapper.”

“Sik-k,” you said.

“Yeah, and you burned him so bad,” she laughed. “Oh my god! ‘tell these boys to get back, don't they know I'm fucking S-class’” she repeated, mirroring your gestures. “Ah, this is so sick! I always wondered what happened to you after your last album.”

Everything went downhill, that's what. You'd trusted Nico to manage your money, and instead he embezzled it. You’d given him everything: your heart, your body and soul. The trust the both of you shared went beyond lovers. Hearts beating like one, you swore your souls meshed together the night you met. They’d imprinted and became one form instead of two separate ones. The day you found out what he’d done, your heart physically ached. The threads keeping you together pulled and snapped, the metaphorical red threads falling to the ground. That thread might have never existed to begin with. Nico went to prison but you'd lost everything. All the money you made with your music suddenly disappeared overnight. You tried rebuilding your career, but being a woman in a male dominated industry was rough. Not many producers took you seriously. You’d even been snubbed at Battle, where the judges chose a man over you despite what audiences believed. It didn’t matter how masculine you tried being, you’d never fit in with them.

“Hey, can I get a picture?” she asked excitedly. “Please?”

“Yeah, me too!” A man nearby overheard and jumped into line with you. “You and Thanos are my favorite rappers. You're both lyrical geniuses.”

“And me!” said another woman, coming over to you. “And can I get your autograph?”

“Um, look, I-”

“-Now, now, everyone. Let's not crowd B.Kat like this.”

You recognized him right away. Long brown hair slicked back from his face, his jacket read ‘124’. Funny, you thought, you were 126. The club manager from Club Pentagon, Namgyu. You remembered the smooth way he'd integrated himself in your inner circle that first night. He'd come bearing drugs and free alcohol that you eagerly accepted. Smooth talking and flirty, you hadn't minded his advances since he’d been before Nico.

“You can all take a photo with her and Thanos,” he said to the group.

He gestured over to a man with spiky purple hair. Thanos. A cold sweat went over you seeing him in person. The last time you’d seen him, you both were panting and bottomless in the Battle dressing room. A part of you shivered recalling how his hands felt on your body back then. In that dressing room, he’d pressed on every weak spot as if he’d already known. He’d worked you easily, driving you crazy and nearly begging for him to enter you. When he finally did, it was better than any high you’d ever had before. You sometimes thought he’d been better than Nico.

“Wassup, Senorita?” he said, and you almost laughed from his cringey opener. “I haven't seen you since Battleground.”

“I've been around,” you lied.

“Let's take a photo with our fans,” he said to the delight of the group. “A real artist doesn't deny their fans.”

Before you could reject the offer, Thanos and Namgyu pulled you to the camera station next. It reminded you of times that pulled at your broken heart. The fans who used to come to every single show regardless of location; the ones who posted about you on their social media and streamed your music. You didn’t care about the fame they brought, but the acceptance and energy. When you stood behind your microphone, you were home. You could breathe amongst them. Nowadays, you can hardly bear it. Your last album disappointed a lot of people; they said it sounded too manufactured and not like your old sound. You’d gotten a ghostwriter to help you, and that itself was a disaster. The group of followers circled around you for the photo before a masked man stopped you.

“It's only one photo!” said the first woman told the guard. “You took our phones so we can't take the photos ourselves!”

“Don't you know who they are?” asked the man. “This is B.Kat and Thanos. You know, the rappers?”

“It's not allowed,” the masked soldier said again, crossing his arms in an X symbol.

The group groaned in disappointment, but Thanos turned to them. “Tell you what. When we get out of here, B.Kat and I will take photos with all of you.”

“Or just with you,” you said.

“We might even do a friendly rap battle, eh?” he teased you with a nudge.

“Ooh yeah!” The group cheered, excited by the prospect.

“I don't think so-”

“-Please step aside,” said the masked man, “And take your individual photos.”

You were the first to obey. However, they weren't done with you. Thanos came up beside you.

“You know, it’s not cool to snub your fans like that,” he said in matter-of-factly tone. “People will start thinking you’re a snotty person.”

“I don’t have fans anymore,” you replied, not meeting his eyes.

“You have plenty,” he reasoned, gesturing to the people behind you. “Like, who were those people then? Paid fans?” When you did not answer, he said, “Where’ve you been, B? You haven’t been in the game for a while.”

“I retired.”

He scoffed, “You can’t retire. You’re too young to retire.”

“I did.”

“Why?”

“Just wasn’t feeling it anymore.”

You missed it. You missed being on stage performing for a crowd of people, just feeding off one another's energy. In the dark rooms and dim lights you could release everything laying inside you. You could be another person. But, then it stopped. The music that used to flow out of you felt stuck and dry. It no longer brought the same excitement as before. Every time you thought about stepping on stage, shame came and drove you away. You sat in your room for ages trying to write lyrics or music, but it didn’t happen. The worst thing that could happen did happen: you’d lost your passion.

“That's a shame,” he said. “I liked your music. I enjoy your flow better. You have a lot of control, so you're precise but still spitting like crazy. Like,” he chuckled, “‘This ain’t a movie, wake up. You’ve lost your sense of reality. Fall away far from here.’ It flows so well. I hoped to hear more after that album of yours.”

You didn’t want to talk about your album. Nico’s betrayal hurt enough without adding your stupid decision to it. “Thanks.”

You all walked into an open roof room. Nothing in it but sand and a large animatronic doll at the end of the room. A female voice explained the rules as Red Light, Green Light.

“We're playing Red Light, Green Light?” Thanos scoffed when it was announced. “This will be a cake walk.”

“I don’t think so,” you said, eyeing the doll at the end by the tree. An ominous feeling crept inside your bones, stiffening them as you walked.

“Why?”

“That’s too easy. There must be a catch.” You searched the room for the answer, but you saw nothing unusual. “They wouldn’t give a bunch of broke people a chance at money without there being some challenge to this.”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“Maybe.”

You felt him stand closer to you. “Don’t worry, B,” he said, winking, “I’ll protect you.”

You somehow doubted that. When the game finally started, your suspicions were proven right. A man-Player 456-told you that the doll was a motion detector and if you moved, they’d shoot you. Nobody believed him the first time, scoffing and laughing at him.

“He’s like my old man when he comes home drunk,” Thanos said with a smirk, “Just spitting nonsense.”

“He’s not drunk.”

“What do you mean? Look at him.”

When the doll called out a second and third time, the true catch was revealed. Bullets came flying from different directions, piercing through people that moved even a smidge. Hot blood sprayed on your face as the man in front of you got a bullet to the head. You could taste the droplets near your mouth, and the stench of blood stuck to your nostrils. Staring down, you realized you’d never seen a dead body before. Not even at a funeral. The man, pot-bellied and bald, laid lifeless at your feet. When it came time to move, you stepped around him and kept going until you reached the end. More people around you and Thanos dropped to the ground. You turned to see your own horror mirrored in his eyes.

The game ended, and you stared at the field of bodies left on the ground. You wondered what you’d gotten yourself into for real. This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t real. It’s a nightmare that you’d wake up from any second. Yet, as you walked on shaky legs back to the dorm, the blood you wiped from your face made everything real. Nobody spoke as you entered the dorm. You walked right to your bunk in the far corner, visions of the dead still clouding your mind. How could they do that? They’d shot those people so easily. What kind of person came up with “games” like this?

“This shit is crazy, man.” Thanos took the bed beside yours, shocked and confused. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I don’t know,” you replied, hugging your sides. “I…Those people…It’s…”

Neither of you spoke for a while. You saw the same horrified expressions on the other players. It was the small click that broke you from your thoughts. Thanos had retrieved a large cross from under his shirt and opened it to reveal several different colored pills. Nico used to have a vial of cocaine he kept on him at all times. He always shared it with you. He said he’d do it with nobody else. You wonder now how true that was.

“Want one?” Thanos offered the cross to you, chewing down on one of them. “It’s crazy good, man. Like nothing I’ve done before.”

“No, thanks.”

“Come on, I know you pop too. We did it together that night.”

“No.”

He closed the cross, and finished chewing. “Your last album was shit,” he said out of nowhere, still watching the rest of the group. “Who wrote the music? Nico?”

No point denying it. “This guy named Huey.”

“You used to write your own verses. I saw you doing it during Battleground. What happened?”

“It stopped coming to me.”

“You thought getting a ghostwriter would make it easier?”

“I needed to make money.

“And lose all your cred in the process?”

“I didn’t think the difference would be that noticeable.”

“Psh, well, it fucking was. Everybody was talking about it. They said you’d finally sold out.”

“I know what they were saying.”

“People already thought a girl rapper was a joke,” he said, “And right when you were showing people you were the real deal, you-”

“-Keep talking and I’ll shove that cross down your fucking throat,” you snapped. “I already know all that. You think I don’t know it? I’ve known since before Battleground when they picked that clown J.D. over me. I heard the shit those fuckers said behind my back: that they thought I was somebody’s girlfriend when they saw me and how I’d make a better groupie than a rapper. I don’t need a pill popper telling me how I fucked up my career. My boyfriend taking my money is already embarrassing enough.”

“Nico took your money?” This made him turn his head.

“Yeah.”

“Damn,” he huffed. “That’s ten times more fucked up. At least the guy who scammed me didn’t know me.”

“Who scammed you?”

“MG Coin,” he scowled, “He told us to invest in this coin and we’d be billionaires. Then the guys who made the coin took all of the money and ran.” He stared into the crowd, “And now he’s here.”

“He is?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna get my money back from him one way or another.”

“Me too!” Namgyu appeared hanging from a bunk above you both.

“Namsu-”

“-Namgyu-” he corrected Thanos.

“Yeah, Namgyu and I bonded over our shared misfortune,” Thanos said. “We’re gonna get our money back from him. All of it.”

“In order for him to pay you back, he’s got to be the sole winner,” you said, “And in order to be the sole winner, we’d have to be dead.”

“I ain’t dying,” he scoffed, “And neither are you.”

“I already did, so it doesn’t matter.”

Your chest tightened whenever you thought about it. The last time you’d held your notebook, you’d stared at the pages until you gave up. When you last heard one of your songs, you felt nothing. A part of you, you felt, had died. The excitement that used to come out of you no longer existed. It was your first death. Dying in these stupid games would only be a second one.

“Pill?” He offered his cross a second time, seeing your watering eyes.

You took a red one without hesitation this time. Crushing it between your teeth, you knew the chalky substance would sink into your bloodstream and you’d forget about it.

“Can I get one?” Namgyu asked eagerly, trying to get closer to him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Thanos said as if he weren’t already tucking the cross away.

The masked men returned to the room, and everyone gathered in the center. They told you the new accumulated amount, then for a vote. People could vote to either keep the games going or stop them and leave with a share of what’s left. Seeing the amount left, you knew what choice you needed to make.

“That would barely put a dent in my debt,” you said out loud to yourself.

“Same,” said Thanos. You saw the drug starting to take over him with his restless body. “So, it looks like we’re going back into the fray together, B!”

“Looks like it.”

As expected, even with the amount of bloodshed they’d witnessed, most people picked to continue the games. You heard some people say ‘just one more game can cover my debt’. That depended on how many people died in the next game. As the drug starts running in your veins, you let yourself get lost in the euphoria.

Hey, if you’re going to die a second time, you’d enjoy the time while you could.

****

“Fuck, you taste good.”

His tongue swirled and dipped carefully over the hard nub and hood. Your nails dug into his hair, purple hair tangling between your fingers.

“Better than anything I’ve had before.”

A slight rush of cold on your side pulled you from the hazy dream.

“That’s a good girl…Yeah, just like that…You look so pretty like this…Can we just stay here? You feel so fucking good, baby. I don’t want to stop.”

His hands and lips were fire on your skin. His length sunk deep in every thrust, stretching and filling you. Your hands slipped into the dark purple spikes of his hair, scratching his scalp as you tugged on it out of habit. He kept you pinned with his body as he slowly rocked his hips to yours.

“Subong…”

His body came first. He slowly uncurled you from your sideways position for more access to you. A pair of lips started pecking your neck, starting at your shoulder before reaching the curve at the base. Your mind stayed in between dreams and reality, unable to register what was really going on. Soft breaths buried themselves in your hair, while two hands went around your middle.

He withdrew just to rub against your clit. His girth pushed your swollen lips apart, sliding over the sensitive nub before slipping back into your entrance. You didn’t think Subong would be any good, but here he was driving you crazy.

“I was that good, huh?” his voice filled your ear, pulling you from your wet dreams. “So good you dream about it?” You responded with a weary whine. “You sounded so sweet whimpering my name just now. You should do it again.”

You whined at the hands toying with your nipples. His fingers whirled slowly around the softness to stimulate them, which wasn’t hard to do. That familiar tightness built between your thighs. It had been a long time since anyone coaxed this feeling out of you. You reached around through Thanos’s arms, grabbing the nape of his neck to touch as much as you could. He grinded into you, his hardness poking against your ass each time and causing him to groan. Whether it was the pills or you really had talked in your sleep, you didn’t care. You didn’t want him to stop.

“Open your legs,” he whispered, turning your head to draw you in for a kiss. His tongue slipped over yours in the deep kiss, passionate like the first time. He explored your mouth with his tongue before ending it with a few soft pecks. “Let me see how wet you’ve gotten.”

You let him slip off your sweatpants to reveal the plain cotton underwear. Rubbing your thighs together, you knew there must be a small wet patch already there. You got confirmation when three fingers rubbed over it, and he groaned.

“It must’ve been a nice dream if you’re this wet already,” he said, lightly dotting kisses on your neck. “I remember how wet you got for me in that dressing room. It was running down your thighs when I started fucking you. You remember that, don’t you, baby? You remember how sticky and sloppy your pussy was before I railed you?”

“Ye-yes…” You let go of his hair to feel down his body to his center. He quivered at your touch, breathing heavily as you reached the bulge pressing to you. “I remember how hard you were by the time I put you in my mouth.”

“Best blowjob I ever had,” said Thanos, pushing into your hand as he spread your wetness through your panties. “I got so jealous when I heard you started dating someone. I would’ve treated you a billion times better than him,” he traced his tongue along your ear, “And fucked you as much as you wanted.”

“Why do I believe that?” you giggled, giving his cock a squeeze.

Thanos chuckled as he turned your head to kiss you. His tongue instantly darting into your mouth, your arousal grew feeling him harden in your hand. Not particularly big, you knew he’d make you see stars by the time you finished. You slid over the hard tip before teasing the sensitive underside. You couldn’t stop thinking about him inside you. His thickness pulsing and twitching in his boxers brought memories of how perfectly he’d filled you that night. Nico wasn’t very big, but Thano’s was the perfect length.

He’d also gone longer.

Soon, Thanos pushed through your panties, and a rush of cold air made you tremble. Two fingers holding your swollen lips open, a third one flicked over your clitoris. You flinched at the single swipe, earning light chuckles before he did it a second time. The tip of his finger rolling around it, you put your hand in his boxers to feel his hot, hard cock on your fingers. A light trickle of precum became the lube you used to coat his tip. The squishy bulb leaked into your palm in every stroke, and his low moans filled your ear. You sensed his need beginning to build with yours, making you stroke him more.

“Pl-please,” you whimpered, eyes closing and back arching as he teased your entrance with two fingers. “Please…”

“You’ll get it soon, baby,” Thanos promised, free hand sliding up to your throat where he held in your place. “You’ll get it really soon. Be a good girl and be quiet for me. We wouldn’t want to wake anyone else up.”

Your leg going back over his, Thanos pinned it down with his arm. Volume really should be a concern, but the overwhelming pleasure overcame that sense. You squirmed in his hold while he teased you. Spreading your juices around, you heard the faint slick sounds in every move. It was when he slipped the fingers inside that your thighs closed, trapping his hand there.

“No, no, no,” he said, pulling your thigh back up, “You’re keeping these open for me.”

“Subong,” you whined quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He sunk them deep, wriggling the tips around as he curled them. “How can I touch you if they’re closed? You have to keep them open if you want me to make you feel good,” he continued, seeing you moan and writhe from his touches, “Just turn your brain off, and let me take care of you.”

His palm tapping your clit made your thighs and legs tremble. Your back arched against him as your hips moved into his hand. They reached right to your g-spot like they’d done the first time. You recalled everyone having gone home, but you’d stayed to keep rehearsing in your dressing room. He’d come innocently, wanting to talk about music and songwriting, but then it became less innocent. The thought it might’ve been a bet between the men came to you, yet it had been a while and you thought he was cute. It’d been by luck that nobody knew about what you two had done in the dressing room.

“You hear that?” He asked, as he fingered you quickly. He made sure you heard the squishing sounds of your sex gripping his fingers. “That’s all you, sweetie. That’s the sound of your sweet pussy drenched and wet.”

Your body shivered as he went deeper and faster, the sensation crippling you. The deep, tongue-clashing kiss you then shared was what sent you over. Your body suddenly became sensitive to his touch. Muscles tensing in their grasp, eyes squeezed shut as you restrain your orgasm with his mouth, you got lost in the euphoria coursing in your like a drug.

You didn’t have a moment to process anything before the cock in your hand replaced his fingers. Thanos continued the steady pace, holding onto your thigh to keep your legs spread. You could feel him spreading you out, mixing your wetness with his own inside your pussy. Like last time, he hit your core dead center and had you grinding into him for more inches. His faint whimper at your hips whirling to his stroked your ego a bit.

“You had sounded hot too, you know,” you moaned between kisses, keeping his hand on your pussy.

“Oh yeah?” Thanos lifting your leg up and changing his angle slightly.

“Yes,” you said, clenching your jaw as you suppressed more moans. “I love hearing guys moan.”

He took immediate advantage of this information. Lips to your ear, his groans tickled the edges. Hearing it out loud, even in the quiet room, lets you imagine all the pleasure he must be experiencing because of you. Your walls dragged across his cock in each thrust, and you purposefully clenched them to make yourself tighter for him. Thanos drew closer as he lifted your thigh upwards, holding you by your ass instead as he thrusted faster. It showed in the way he gripped your body close to him, wanting to touch more of you. You thanked God you didn’t have anyone sleeping above you.

You were jelly by the time he pulled you underneath him and forced your legs open. As you knew he would, he gently tapped and rubbed against your clit. Overstimulated but wanting more, you cupped your breasts and brushed your nipples for added pleasure. Thanos didn’t allow this. Pushing your hands aside, he pinned them to your sides as he pushed his cock inside you. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinding against him, loving every inch he gave you in his thrusting.

“Just as good as I remember,” he grunted in your ear, not holding back anymore. The bunk might’ve pushed into the wall if it weren’t bolted to the floor. Yet, the light smack of his hips to yours could be heard. “Best pussy I’ve ever had.”

The best dick you’d ever had, including Nico’s, though you didn’t say so out loud. Your mouth could not word the thoughts going through your head. Even back then, Thanos’s cock turned you into a senseless, incoherent mess. You could lay in that bed and take him forever. In the half glow of the dorm, you could see his shirtless body hovering over you. Dark hair hanging over his face, eyes full of lust, he’d look the same in the dressing room.

“I'd vote X if it meant I get to have-have this,” he said in your ear, hands keeping yours to the bed as he took long strokes. “Get to have this tight pussy to myself…all the time…whenever I want…”

“Subong,” you whined, your second orgasm approaching.

“I love when you say my name,” he groaned against your shoulder, “Say it again, baby.”

You said his name like a mantra, the word matching the pace of his hips. You noticed he went particularly hard the times you whined his name instead. He released your wrists and knelt up, lifting your hips from the bed. In this new, elevated position, you could only grind on him as he pumped himself inside you. His muscles constricted from the hold his orgasm and position had on him. As your walls squeezed him, his head fell back, eyes closed and mouth open in every quiet moan he forced back. You reached out for him, grabbing his forearms and keeping him close this way. Trembling in his hold, Thanos sensed your next orgasm and chased it down.

He stuck two fingers in your mouth right as you came around him. Moans muffled by the digits pushing down on your tongue, occasionally pushing to your throat. You forgot where you were at that moment. Pleasure and bliss washed over you in waves, crashing down in trembles and twitching. It controlled every sense in your body, keeping you going but also wearing you down. You held onto his wrist to keep his fingers in your mouth, regardless of the drool they created. Eyes locked on one another, he didn’t tear away even when his own climax approached. Something deeper happened in that moment that had nothing to do with him cumming inside you. Legs hooked around his waist, you kept him close as he emptied the last few drops into your cunt.

“Fuck,” he huffed, settled between your legs and head on your shoulder, “Fucking amazing.”

“Very.”

This is where you expected him to roll over, mutter a goodbye, and start heading back to his bunk. He didn’t. Thanos did lay beside you in the bed, but he didn’t leave. You didn’t mind. It felt nice having someone next to you again. Perhaps you’d let him come back tomorrow night just to have the closeness. Feeling his cum starting to leak from you, you knew you should do something about it, but why? You might not make it out of this place. What did it matter if anything came from this?

“I know what you mean, by the way,” he said in the quietness of the dorm.

“About what?”

“Dying twice.”

The stab wound in your heart reopened at his words. “I was standing on the bridge when that ddjaki guy came up to me,” he said. “I thought about ending it all. Who was I without my music? Okay, the money thing really affected me too, but not like how losing my passion did. It felt hard to make anything. Putting words to my feelings was hard, and it didn’t give me the same excitement it used to. It was like I’d already died, so big deal if I fell from the bridge?”

The confession surprised you. Thanos never struck you as the type to have that mindset. But, as you turned to look at him, you realized you weren’t talking to Thanos, the cocky rapper. You were seeing Choi Subong, a man who once had passions and dreams that became shattered in a single second. A lot like you. Snuggling to him, you put your head on his shoulder as he put an arm around you. You pictured him standing on the edge of the bridge, looking down at the water and contemplating everything that happened to him. He’d lost the lifestyle he worked so hard to achieve, and going back to the bottom was rough.

“But, we’re both good rappers,” he said, “Maybe if we win this, we’ll get our money and our passion back.”

“And if we lose?”

“We’ll be dead and nothing will matter. So, that’s why I’m playing like I’m going to die anyways. If you play like that, you’re not scared.”

“Being high for most of it helps too,” you sneered, hand finding the cross laying nearby.

“It does,” he chuckled. “Want one?”

“Sure,” you shrugged.

Why did it matter? You’d already died once. Dying a second time wouldn’t be so bad.

****

A/N: haha love that my first squid game fic is for Thanos. I have others on the way, but hope you enjoyed my first!

#squid games #squid games 2 #squid games thanos #thanos squid games #thanos x reader #player 230 #player 230 x reader #squid games fanfiction #squid games fanfic #thanos x you #choi subong #subong x reader

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myokk · 3 months ago

Note

Hi! I'm still feral for these two, would you mind giving us some art of them in their later years together!?

Hello angel!!!!

Sorry it’s taken so long to respond🫶🫶 but I wanted to draw some new art for this ask💓

We have: Sebastian and Eloise trying out their new fancy camera with a selfie, pictures of them with their daughter, and finally…idk I just always felt like this drawing is when they’re a bit older💓

I want to take this ask as an opportunity as well to talk a little about how I imagine their future (I have no chill & you can ignore this and just enjoy the art if you want😇).

I am a COMPLETE pantser - I never know how a chapter’s going to end when I start writing it (I always just have a few scenes I know I need to include to keep the plot moving forward). Although I have different *big* scenes I’m always writing towards, and themes/plot elements I’m always foreshadowing (shout out to @elliecutte for catching *almost* all of my hints and appreciating my general no chill😆), IM STILL NOT 100% SURE HOW I WILL END THINGS !!! 😳 I have a lot of endings I see as possible, and I think soon it will become more clear to me what will work the best💓

HAPPY ENDING:

Eloise and Sebastian become Unspeakables. I have a LOT of thoughts on this profession that could be its OWN post, and I feel like Unspeakables are generally specialized in one or two departments, but as their interests/research change they also change.

Eloise becomes an Unspeakable in the Mind and Death departments, with the occasional foray into Time. Her ancient magic is connected with all of these things (my version of AM is NOT like the game) & the Department of Mysteries is one of the only places that gives her any useful information about these things. Plus she thinks too much (it IS her hobby after all😆💓) and is very introverted so a hermit job like this is a perfect fit.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable as well, but I feel like it takes him a long time to specialize in anything, if he ever does. I just feel like becoming an Unspeakable is the adult equivalent of sneaking into the Restricted Section🥹🫶

They grow old together (I won’t explain TOO much) & have a lovely little family🥹 at least one daughter that they both dote on. Sebastian had an amazing childhood (idyllic until it wasn’t), and wants to give his daughter the same, and Eloise works hard to make sure their daughter feels the love that she never had growing up🥺

When Sirius is burned off the family tree, Eloise and Sebastian take him in🥹🫶 (they’re like 100 years old but WIZARDS LIVE LONGER…) The same happened to her all those years ago, and she wants him to know that his whole family hasn’t abandoned him.

Eloise LOVED her nieces - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - when they were younger, but as Voldemort becomes more powerful & people realize WHAT he’s doing, she has to separate herself from them. Her heart breaks seeing Bellatrix go mad, and seeing Narcissa engaged to a Malfoy out of obligation😔 (iykyk)

I haven’t thought any more about happy ending but I think it’s fun to think about how their future story might weave in with the actual canon events, ESPECIALLY since Eloise is a Black🥹💓

SAD ENDING:

After Sebastian gets his hands on Slytherin’s relic, it really starts to consume him and makes him even MORE obsessive than his natural tendencies - I imagine it similarly “talking” to him like Slytherin’s locket/horcrux did in Deathly Hallows (😳)

Eloise is deathly afraid of the changes she’s seeing in Sebastian and steals it from him (he would never willingly give it to her ESPECIALLY if it starts to feel like a precious item to him)

BUT the relic triggers the latent Black Family Madness in her - the madness that afflicts almost every woman in her family since…🤭 - and she herself starts to lose touch with reality. Her body and soul are already destroying themselves between the curse and the ancient magic inside of her, and the relic is what triggers it in her.

Sebastian becomes an Unspeakable, focusing on the Mind, in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his Eloise🥺

He never gives up his research, and sometimes when he comes home she is lucid and they talk about his research - otherwise, he just loves and takes care of her.

(He’s never successful in finding a way to reverse what he feels he caused in the first place - his ambition and single-mindedness is, to him, the reason why all of this happened)

Honestly who knows if I end their story either of these ways😌 I just love thinking of AUs and different endings and I have a few others I’ve considered as well!!! And whatever endings I don’t write will be immortalized on this blog and in my art as well🙏

#thank you for the ask!!!!#I have no chill when I answer these things which is why it takes me so long to answer them🥲#ngl I think the sad ending is quite romantic #but maybe I’m too chicken to follow through/what I have planned could change a lot & it won’t make sense anymore #and like I’m not COMPLETELY evil I like seeing them happy too🥺🥺#and I also really love the Black family & all of the canon characters…OFC I had to insert Eloise in that family somehow #and her mother was the PERFECT age !!!!!!!!!!! (according to the family tree)#I ALSO have a lot of thoughts on the Gaunts and actually how Ominis’s blindness prevents him from going insane like the rest of them #seem to have done by the time Tom Riddle’s around #(something something blind people can’t hallucinate so they can’t get psychosis)#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanart #hphl #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy oc #eloise babbit #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanart #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts legacy fanfic #also Sebastian’s childhood is just based on mine #I grew up in a TINY village and spent all day running outside and having adventures like crazy or readinf like crazy no in-between😆💓#ask

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rowretro · 7 months ago

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𝕾𝖔 𝕾𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖞

✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, unhealthy love, mentions of blood, thriller, gore, death

♡synopsis: Y/n's not afraid of the dark... maybe she might be scared of what's in the dark. The ghosts? monsters? death hunting her down ready to grab her by its fist? of course not. She's scared of her ex.... he's so scary....

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Y/n yawned as she walked down the creepy, dark hallways of the abandoned high school. Tables scattered here and there, blood splatters dried ones and even fresh ones, painting the ground and wall. Evidence of human life being tortured and tormented for days before being ripped into pieces and left on the ground, rotting into the floorboards. Y/n was rather more disgusted, shocked the police hasn't once come across this place... Oh wait- that's a dead officer from the 90's seems he died a few weeks ago. Why was she here exactly?

It's stupid of course. Her dear friend who had been acting weird lately, dragged her to this place, challenging her claiming she'll die of fear before the ghost even gets to her. Y/n was no idiot, denying any invitation to the murder house. Yet Angela Yin, her best friend, dragged her in, the doors shutting behind them, and jammed shut. Then Angela went missing. That's how y/n found herself wandering the empty classroom where the ugly thing was just a second ago. She groaned, grabbing a key she found as she walked toward a door that had a matching lock.

She's ran into the killer once, it left a fog of smoke, causing her trip over small thing. It's nails disgusting and long like claws, head snapped off, hanging backwards. Eyes gauged out and mouth wide open. It was disgusting. its arms reached forward, but it can only see behind itself. That helped y/n, it was so blind it didn't bother looking in the cabinet where she hid in pure silence.

Just as she was about to put the key in the lock, a thick black liquid, slid from under the door, taking over the big, thick wooden rectangle, that blocked whatever was in that room from her. She groaned, arms crossed, as her foot tapped against the tattered floor impatiently, she stared at the many creepy hands holding eyeballs and organs waving them around through the now blackened, inky door. "What do you want from my ghost?... In my 18 years the worst thing I'd ever done to hurt anyone was being sarcastic and throwing parties when I'm home alone, now did that hurt you?" she asked as the eyeballs glared right at her.

"na how bout we talk about what YOU did? kill everyone who tried to send you to a better place, figure out a crime, or at least run home to their family? I don't know why Angela dragged me here, but once I drag that bitch home she's getting it. And you listen to me. I know deep inside you know you did something wrong, hence you killed so many innocent people and are trying to haunt me. I'm not scared of you because you were once a human like me... So why don't you get out of my way, and I leave you alone if you leave me and possibly Angela alone too kay?"

Y/n said confidently as if negotiating with a person who's afraid of her. yet the thick inky liquid disappeared, and the door opened. "That's what I thought." she said, dragging her sharp rusty metal weapon along with her. Yet the doors closed, there stood Angela, eyes pure black, veins visible in her arms and face, no longer blue or purple but black. Her teeth grew sharp as she approached y/n, her bony hands wrapped tightly around y/n's neck, choking her. "Fuck- Angela- What the fuck?! stupid ghost bitch I thought I told you we had a deal." Y/n choked out.

However the girl let go of y/n impulsively, as she fainted, the ghost screaming as it was forced out of her. There she saw a sight that scared her most "Nishimura No......." she mumbled as Riki dusted himself off. "Yes.... Im back baby." he said with a smirk. She threw a table at him and rushed outside, now lost in the dark woods, there, vulnerable, and in the depths of danger, possible vampires and Werewolves that had escaped the military's hold, roaming around in need of blood. That's why she broke up with him.

"Wow babe, one way to say thank you for saving your life, and hi to your darling boyfriend" Riki's deep voice echoed as he walked out from behind the trees. She backed away from him. Her ex. Riki. She broke up with him after she saw her suck the blood of her cousin. "I told you already we're broken up." she said mustering up enough courage to at least try to sound like she was confident in her words. "No you made that decision. Not me, so sorry you're stuck with me." he said as y/n glared at him. He groaned running a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"Darling.... I only drink blood of a human when I need to, and I only suck the blood of those who do wrong in the world and you know what your cousin did to you..." he said as he gently grabbed her arm, scanning over the healing scars on her arms. She gently pulled away, feeling herself falling into his love trap yet again, like a moth to a flame. "You're not scared of my love.... you're clearly scared for me... y/n I love you and you're mine you can never change that. I don't understand why me being half demon half vampire scares you.... I'd never hurt you... you know it. They can't ever kill me, I'm practically immortal.... So please. take my hand and let me take you to OUR home." he said as he grabbed her arm... yet she pulled away roughly.

"Nishimura Riki. I may love you... but I don't trust you... I don't want you anymore.... Im over you..." she said, almost as if convincing herself, "Then you leave me no choice." He said, yanking her into his embrace, teeth stabbing into her collarbone.... He imprinted her, kissing her lovingly right after. There's no turning back now "I'll go home then-" Angela suddenly said walking toward her boyfriends car, as y/n was still dazed.

She was his now. She realized how too such perfect care of her, before their break up, and even now, as she stared at the permanent mark on her collarbone in the reflection of the mirror. She didn't find him so scary anymore. The comforting environment of his groans of annoyance every time he lost a game his comfortable room, his cologne intertwining in the air, the large white sweater that slipped off her shoulder, so comfortable as she hugged it closer to her skin, his sweater...He's not so scary after all...

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nightplvmes · 2 months ago

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*.⊹˚ SYLUS | dream come true (christmas special)

── ◜sylus x fem!reader — mini one shot 1.5k words ◜sylus decides to prepare a surprise for her as a christmas present author's note | christmas specials from the rest of the LI on my profile

Christmas wasn't her favorite holiday, but there was something different this year: Sylus was by her side. She knew he wasn't a big fan of the holiday either, she'd noticed, but the idea of doing something together excited her.

"Where are we going?" She asked, letting out a breath. A cloud of smoke came out of his lips, making her laugh. Even as an adult, that still made her laugh. Sylus had been leading her to 'a surprise' over ten minutes ago, but she just didn't see any surprises and she was freezing to death.

"We're almost there." Sylus turned to look at her and a small smile formed on his lips, barely perceptible.

She sighed in frustration and continued walking in silence for a few more minutes. Her gaze was fixed on her shoes and the way they sank into the snow with each step. Sylus had shown up at her house two hours ago, forcing her to get dressed saying he had a surprise for her. She wondered how he knew she had no plans specifically for that day, had Mephisto told him something? Had he spied on her schedule?

"We arrived." Sylus' voice brought her out of her bubble. She looked up excitedly, but her expression changed completely when she saw what was in front of her.

"What is this?" she asked confused, she hadn't even noticed when she had stopped walking, but Sylus had stopped in front of her.

"It's for us." She felt him take her hand and force her to walk with him, she followed him trying not to fall but she was still too shocked to walk normally.

A large ice rink was in front of her. She recognized it perfectly, it was the typical ice rink that the mall put up every year during Christmas. But it was empty.

"Sylus, I told you I can't skate," she muttered, trying to sound annoyed, but she still didn't sound shocked, she had told him that two weeks ago. She had mentioned to him that she had always wanted to do Christmas things like in the movies, like skating, something she didn't even know how to do. She had never tried to learn because she was embarrassed by the looks of the people around her.

"I know. I rented the whole ice rink for us, so you can learn." She blinked in confusion but forced herself to keep quiet. He'd rented the whole damn ice rink… for her.

She remained silent as Sylus helped her into the small space where there were benches to put on her skates. She also remained silent when she put on the skates Sylus had brought for her, she had really thought of absolutely everything.

"Sylus… I'm going to fall." She sighed in frustration as she looked at the ice rink in front of her. It was huge and completely empty, which was comforting.

"You'll be okay, I'll hold you. Come here." She stood up and walked very carefully to the edge of the ice rink. She stood there for a few seconds, there was some snow because there was no roof, but nothing that would bother her.

She blinked as she felt Sylus' arms wrap around her hips. Her body tensed and suddenly she no longer felt nervous about the ice rink… It was Sylus' body pressed against hers and his arms holding her close that made her nervous.

She entered the ice rink slowly. She kept her feet steady because she didn't dare let Sylus go, at least not at that moment. First she needed to find balance.

"Why did you do that?" she asked, letting Sylus lead her. He was actually the one doing all the work, pushing them both across the ice rink. She kept her feet completely firm, she was still too nervous and afraid that the second she separated from Sylus she would end up with her face against the ice.

"You said your dream was to ice skate during Christmas," he replied quietly, his lips too close to her ear. She remembered it, they had watched one of her favorite Christmas movies together. She was surprised that Sylus remembered. "You also said you were embarrassed to be seen."

"And that's why you paid for an entire ice rink?" She tried to look over her shoulder and when she turned her face she noticed how close Sylus was to her. She quickly looked back, feeling her cheeks warm. If she hadn't noticed, she could have accidentally brushed their lips.

Sylus smiled when he noticed the way her face had turned quickly. "Does it bother you?"

"I'm surprised." She shrugged. She knew that anyone else wouldn't have done the same thing, but Sylus wasn't just anyone.

It was new for her, she appreciated every detail that Sylus had with her, but no one had done the same before. She didn't know how to accept anything that came from him without feeling ashamed.

"I'm going to let you go now." She blinked repeatedly as Sylus' voice brought her out of her thoughts. She looked over her shoulder in fear but Sylus was no longer beside her and was not pressing his body against hers.

He pushed her gently, letting her skates slide across the ice. She gasped in a mix of surprise and terror of end up with her face against ground. It took her a couple of seconds to regain the balance and he prepared to catch her if she fell, but it wasn't necessary.

She looked at Sylus with excitement and slowly slid down the ice until she reached him again. He gently grabbed her wrists to hold her and smiled due to the excitement and happiness on her face. When the girl looked up again she met Sylus' piercing eyes, her smile fading slightly due to the nerves caused by the way he looked at her.

"Thank you… for this."

"You did it yourself." He shook his head not wanting to take credit for something so simple.

"I'm not talking about that." She rolled her eyes. She knew Sylus knew she was referring to the whole ice rink surprise.

She looked up at the sky, feeling a snowflake falling on her face, a sign that it was going to start snowing. He had fulfilled her Christmas dream.

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dumbbitchenergy17 · 2 months ago

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Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Family Line

Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.

Word Count: 4K

Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, tw: NOTES OF SELF HARM, ANXIETY ATTACKS/RESPONSE, trauma from abusive mother, description of child neglect/abuse

a/n: I hope everyone enjoys the holiday season and here is a Christmas angsty post

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Scattered 'cross my family line.

I'm so good at telling lies That came from my mother's side. Told a million to survive

Scattered 'cross my family line.

God, I have my father's eyes But my sister's when I cry.

I can run, but I can't hide From my family line

Anything could happen. One wrong move can turn this into a bloodbath. You can see each individual, pausing at a woman who wears a balaclava covering the lower half of her face but you recognize those eyes. Lila squirms seemingly recognizing the group as the woman lowers her mask, both you and Lila saying the same thing.

“Mom..?” “Momma!”

The air is like daggers filling your lungs, stabbing you as you inhale, scraping and cutting you as you exhale. You’re not sure if she knows you anymore. Are you some fleeting memory of her poor child that left her? Abandoned her all those years ago. Do you even recognize her? Of course you do, she is the same in your memories, in your dreams and nightmares. She probably smells the same if you were to be in her embrace. The smokiness and burnt smell that others would cringe away but you seek comfort from it, the smell of burning wood always reminds you of her. The sharpness of almost rubbing alcohol changed to something more fruity whether it was wine or yeasty beer. But that smoky smell never left her. Even now breathing in fresh air you expect to get that hint of smoky. You are surely death gripping the reins as Lila vibrates in your saddle her hands reaching out to be taken…by her mother. You see the shocked looks from Tommy and Ellie as their gaze darts from you to the woman staring at you with equal shock. She finally speaks and it sends chills of fear but also safety through you.

“Y/n…is that really you honey…you’re alive?” She says and you think this a dream? As you see tears fill her eyes. The others that a with your mother lower their weapons and even Tommy and Ellie lower theirs too. You are speechless afraid if you say something you’ll wake up or she’ll disappear hearing you confirm you are the child she lost all those years ago.

“I’m sorry. I know this is all overwhelming. But it’s getting close to dark and infected tend to roam here. Look you should all come back with us to Jackson so we can figure,” Tommy says glancing over at you who is still silent dead staring at your mother someone he can’t help but feel like he knows, “Figure this all out.”

Your mother quickly wipes the tears from her face, “Yes I’m sorry. Thank you that is so kind of you.”

With that decided you all head towards Jackson. Tommy leading up front, Ellie in the middle with the other group including your mother, and you in the back with Lila. You’re sure Red could sense your complete shut off and taking over. You take in everything about her, her hair is longer and greying with age, and she looks the same but just older and weathered with time. She dressed normally for the weather nothing standing out, a sawed-off shotgun in her free hand the other holding her reins. You had so many questions since you knew that Kansas had fallen to infected where had she been this whole time? Lila yawns snuggling into your chest. When did she have time for another child, she could be old maybe five or six. She could have had her when you were gone makes sense, you wouldn’t know if your mother was pregnant when you were in the QZ. Or would you have? The way she just acted was nothing you experienced in the fourteen years with her. Was your leaving cause her change? Did she miss you? Looking down at Lila you feel your chest tighten, did having her change her? Was this child the reason she wanted now to be a good mother? You wince already remember her words at that comment. She was the best mother she could be with the resources she had. It’s your fault you made it harder on her to raise you. You wouldn’t have a better childhood if you listened more. Did Lila listen? Was she better at things you struggled to do before? Did she have your mother’s affection? Did she have your mother’s love? Was Lila being born a way to heal her broken heart from you abandoning her?

Your restless thoughts keep you occupied for the duration of the trip and when you come partially aware you are at the gates of Jackson right as the sunset dips below the horizon and the lights of the community start turning on. Watching the large gates open to a small crowd of people waiting for your return but also hearing of the newcomers. Your gaze sweeps seeing members of the council, Dina and Jesse there most likely for Ellie, and Joel and Maria are waiting in the forefront of the crowd. All your horses draw to a stop the stablehands come and start guiding the Jackson and outsider horses to the stables for food and rest. In your arms is a sleeping Lila, your pack and rifle still on your back an empty expression on your face. There might be a look on your face but you can’t think of one as you stare off as the man with the gruff voice helps your mother off her horse and you see a slight weight shift to her, something is either wrong with her leg or foot. You are motionless as everything else moves around you, Dina and Jesse greeting Ellie who seems to be keeping an eye on you. The council alongside Maria with their son as they speak to Tommy about the newcomers, his gaze also flickering back to you as you still just stand there. Other members of Jackson check out the new people the local doctor coming to check some of their injuries, especially a man who’s currently in a makeshift sling. You don’t notice Joel’s concerned gaze on you as people move around you but remain frozen with a little girl in your arms. One person comes over a nurse or someone comes and takes Lila from your arms and you slip your rifle and revolver off to someone so they can be locked up with the other weapons. You mumble lightly that she might have some minor injuries to check, but it comes out like, ‘Cuts…no bites…she’s hers.” Your gaze is still locked.

It’s a shock to the Millers and even those that know of you. Since you’ve been here, it’s harsh, bitter, curses or glares thrown. A hot temper, but then it mellowed out still a spitfire but wasn’t picking fights. This version was frighteningly silent, like the entire world around you faded away only focused on one thing, but even you didn’t dare to speak up or try and react. Joel just sees someone coming at you and he makes a step to go protect you but a woman throws her arms around your shoulders pulling you into a tight hug and crying into your shoulder.

“Oh thank god you’re alive. I thought all these years I lost you and I never forgave myself.” She sobs into your flannel her tears and snot getting on it, your body rigid hands held at your side as she holds you with such tender affection. This was the first time she hugged you, you would remember other times trying to get one only for her to push you away. It was always you trying desperate to initiate one but here she was holding onto you like you were going to crumble apart if she let go. She pulls away with teary eyes she clutches your cheeks looking over you taking in every detail of you and keeping it in your memory. You shudder at the eye contact, you don’t think she’s ever stared at you for this long and it only gets your heart racing more.

“You are so beautiful and all grown up. I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you then, but I was given a second chance now,” She sniffs and you don’t know what to say your hands clenching and unclenching trying to keep yourself grounded. A burning sensation at the back of your eyes.

Everyone could sense how uncomfortable you looked, not knowing how to act in this very emotional situation, “Tommy who is that?” Maria asks not fully able to hear every word being said but it was clear whoever this was knew you.

“The little girl, Lila that’s her mother,” Tommy hesitates in dropping this bomb, “She is also Y/n’s mother.” Joel’s eyes widen once he gets a better view of the woman immediately getting thrown back almost 20 years ago remember her. It was still early in the Outbreak with people being evacuated to other QZs. They were all together in the Dallas QZ until they got separated when it reached capacity. Tommy and he went to Boston and she went to another QZ. He wouldn’t have forgotten her.

“Tommy what did you do,” Maria asks immediately on edge. If that was your mother she knew exactly what she was capable of. Does she warn them to stop this? Had things truly changed with time? No, she abused you as a child she can’t change…but with her crying in front of you Maria felt hesitation to speak. Both Tommy and Joel give her a confused look before returning to look at what’s happening before them.

Your throat feels tight as you barely get the word, “M-mom…I..I” out and she’s all teary while you feel on the edge of having a breakdown.

“Shhh don’t worry about anything. All that matters is that we are together as a family. You, me, your sister,” Her mentioning Lila pushes you further to the edge, your hands squeeze so tightly you’re sure blood is drawn, “Oh honey you’ll love it,” She gushes. Honey that name you only dreamed she’d call you another step towards the edge.

“We’ve been waiting for this moment and…you have Derek…your father.”

You are shoved off the ledge as tears spill from your eyes but you know they aren’t tears of joy. It’s far from it as you see the gruff man with the bandana now lowered come over standing beside your mother. He rests a hand on your shoulder and you can feel it burning through your clothes and scarring your flesh.

“Hey kiddo…it’s been some time,” It’s like every warning bell is ringing in your head. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. You’re not supposed to get a face to the name ‘dad’, he was nameless. A bastard father to a bastard daughter. You were going to die and never know what he looks like conjured up some image of a man that is always changing. You shove your mother off you and she gasps as your father goes to steady her all eyes immediately on you. Your hands are clenched so hard in fists that your face tenses up with these wide frightened eyes. An almost pained noise comes from your throat like you want to scream or cry but are forcing it back.

“Honey..” “Kiddo.” Both your parents try reaching back to you but you take a clumsy step back and then book it pushing through the crowd. Your vision is a blur and you nearly run into Joel who tries to steady you but you shove him away and book it down the street darting down an alley. Your mother tries going after you but is held back by your father.

“Ellie,” Joel calls out getting the girl and her friends' attention, “Try and find her please.” The younger girl nods and the three young kids run off in search of you. Joel turns back to the couple bickering as Tommy and Maria approach.

“I told you it would all be too much,” The man says and the woman runs her hand through her hair, “It doesn’t matter now. We can’t take it back.” She turns to look over at the adults her gaze pausing on one familiar man.

“Joel Miller?” She seemed shocked to see him especially alive after all these years there almost seemed to be a twinge of fear in her eyes.

“It’s good to see you after all these years,” Joel says and Tommy looks between his brother and your mother and it clicks how he recognizes her. The QZ was back in Dallas in their early days. She and Joel were pretty close that was…like 18 ye— Immediately his gaze darts from both Joel to your mother, then to your ‘father’. His first memory of you was thinking how familiar you looked then when he came back with Joel it was like staring at a mirror from face down to attitude. Especially now looking at your ‘father’ you didn’t look a lick like him, maybe Lila did but you certainly did not. He squeezes his wife’s hand and flashes her a small ‘when need to talk’ look which she understands and squeezes back. Your mother laughs awkwardly.

“Yeah, what are the odds…anyway thank you for all you’ve done for our daughter it’s good having her safe with us.” She says and the irony from it given the fact you just ran off.

“It’s glad to see you alive and well,” Maria says fixing her grip on her son, “Y/n has said much about you…but not much about her father.” Her gaze moves from your mother whose gaze almost narrows to daggers to your father who looks a bit nervous.

“Unfortunately Y/n and her father haven’t had the best relationship but we’re hoping to reestablish that, especially in this world where anything can happen,” Your mother says smoothly and Maria tensely nods.

“Well…let’s get you situated with some food, check in on your other daughter, and then we’ll get you and your people settled for the night,” Tommy suggests, and your mother and her group all nod. Tommy begins leading them off to the Tipsy Bison. Maria goes over to Joel who watches the whole scene.

“Joel go find Y/n,” She says and Joel nods but he notices the conflicted look in her eyes.

“You know something,” He questions and she flashes him a look but sighs.

“Just give me time Joel, please. Go worry about her for now.” She pleads and Joel looks at her trying to unpick her but sighs and goes off and looks for you.

Joel hits your normal spots, the stables, specifically Red’s pen but not there, checks Maria and Tommy’s house to see if you’re there, and even goes to his home to see if you decided to run off there but no, he was going to head to the library when he runs into Dina who tells them they found her. The pair head out into the woods to reach a clearing, there’s an unlit stone firepit and some benches made my logs, he’s been here a few times with Ellie and Tommy, but this was mainly a spot for the younger kids.

“Go!” You screech like a wild banshee as a rock hits a stray tree. There he finds, Ellie and Jesse on the outskirts where the forest ends and the clearing starts. You are in the middle of it pacing and he feels a spike of concern seeing flecks of red in the snow.

“Y/n let’s just talk—” Ellie starts jumping back as another object is thrown in their direction a pained held-back scream.

“Fuck off!” You grit out. Your bloody hands grip your hair, your gloves tossed amongst the snow as you pace your heart racing and they can see you choking to get air in your system.

“Kids go,” Joel says and Jesse and Dina nod starting to trail away he sees Ellie look at him hesitant before she too leaves. Joel takes a step into the clearing the crunch of snow makes you whip to face him and he raises his hands like taming a wild beast. Your chest heaves as you eye him with sharp panicked eyes. Tears stream down your flushed cheeks as you continue making that pained noise.

“I’m not gonna do anything kid,” Joel says calmly as one of your hands that grips your hair moves to your flannel clutching your collar as if it’s choking you. Joel rushes as you drop to your knees with an unhuman cry like this tidal wave of emotions finally takes over. He pries your blood hand from your hair to stop harming yourself allowing you to death grip his sleeve as you scream this gutwrenching sound. Joel squeezes you close to his chest as your screams muffle in his coat soon it turns into a heartbreaking whimper. He has to look up to the sky to blink back the burn in his eyes holding you close to him his hand stroking your hair to soothe you.

“It’s okay…I got you,” He says as you tremble in his hold weak sobs and hiccups as you break down. It took a while for your cries to settle down just sniffles fill the clearing, the cold snow seeping into both of your pants a grounding force. Joel pulls back to get a good look at you and you see the pity frown as he takes in your bloodshot eyes, snotty and just out of it from your breakdown. His thumb swipes at your cheek to help rid the stray tears and you don’t even react to it. You don’t flinch at his eye contact unlike your mother, his contact doesn’t send pain throughout your body, your heart doesn’t race, nor does your chest tighten as he holds you. It’s quiet between you too as he helps you to your feet, shrugging his coat off and putting it over your shoulder to stop your shivering. Your stare is endless completely checked out as he rushes to collect your gloves shoving them in his pocket turning and seeing you still standing there. The coat seems to engulf you and he sees little droplets of blood fall from your slack fingers staining the pure snow crimson. Wrapping his arm around your back he begins guiding you out of the clearing to civilization. The other proof something happened would be the stains of blood that litter it. Like a sacrifice was needed to completely let yourself go.

Joel brings you to Rancher Street but instead of the home you’ve been staying at the past month he guides you up the porch steps to the place where it all started. The lights are dim as he guides you to sit on the couch before the still-crackling fire. Footsteps from upstairs and he sees a concerned Ellie coming down the stairs taking in the sight of you unmoving on the couch.

“Ellie get some blankets and a clean rag with water,” Joel says and Ellie rushes off the complete the order. Joel leaves his coat still on you but kneels to untie your boots and you do little to help just a deadweight. Your eyes were almost lifeless the flames of the fireplace flickering in them. Ellie returns with the items before heading off to the kitchen, Joel takes the cloth getting it damp before pushing back some of your hair seeing the scratches you caused, and being gentle to clean them away. You don’t barely react when he accidentally puts pressure on a cut as he cleans the blood and tears from your face. Once your face is clean he goes to work on your bloody hands when their a knock on the door.

“Joel, go I got this,” Ellie says returning with a steaming cup of what looks like hot chocolate, to try and lift your spirits. Joel lets the young girl take over heading to answer the door. There he finds his brother alongside his wife and child.

“Did you find her?” Tommy asks and Joel leads them inside from the cold but not completely in. They can see Ellie speaking softly to you as she cleans your hands but your gaze remains on the flames an exhausted look on your face. “Christ,” Tommy sighs pinching the bridge of his nose and Maria looks over a high wave of emotions seeing you completely shut down.

“Her…her mother…wanted to see know if she would be staying with them,” Tommy asks and Joel immediately feels a rush of anger, “I know it’s a stupid question.”

“Hell no Tommy,” Joel spats, “You think any normal person would react the way she did if they saw their mother and father again? I won’t let that happen.” He points at your lifeless body as Ellie tries offering you the drink but it’s like she’s invisible staring right through her.

“I know that Joel, you think I didn’t see that as well, but that’s her kid. Y/n is their family,” Tommy sighs and Joel scoffs.

“And is she not ours?! Who took care of her all these months? Who let her in their home when she thought she had no one? Who did she cry to and confided to? Us Tommy!” Joel points at himself then at his brother and wife, “Sure I know her mom and we all had our history together, but if my child tears themselves to the point of bleeding at the sight of them I’m not going to stand by.”

“I agree with Joel,” Maria's voice is smooth but a held-back anger in her tone. She holds her son with the protection of a mother and if she could she would be right over by you holding and comforting you. Both Miller brothers are surprised at Maria’s stance and Joel scrutinizes her trying to pick her apart to learn what she knows.

“You know they aren’t going to like this,” Tommy says but the looks on both Maria and Joel’s faces make him sigh. Both of them are willing to die on this hill. “I’ll go let them know that she’s already asleep.” With that, Tommy presses a kiss to his wife’s temple before leaving the home. Joel looks back seeing that you are indeed asleep with Ellie resting her head on the armrests looking over you. Maria rests a hand on Joel’s shoulder as he looks down at his sister-in-law.

“Just take care of her Joel,” Maria says and Joel nods as Maria leaves. Joel comes over to Ellie who looks over you with such genuine concern and care.

“Come on kiddo,” He says offering a hand and pulling the teen to her feet keeping her close to his chest, both drained from the high emotions.

“Will she be alright Joel?” She asks and Joel is silent looking down at you resting on the couch a frown on your face. Even in sleep, you were being tormented.

“She will…come on up to bed,” Joel says and Ellie tiredly listens heading up the stairs as Joel begins putting out the fire. He turns to where you lay lit by the sliver of light from the window and the hallway lights. His hand pushes your hair back making sure you’re comfortable, he doesn’t stop himself from smoothing out the crease between your brows and you seem to settle more a bit of tension released. A flash of Sarah covers your feature and he flinches at the resemblance of his daughter. Why looking at you brought memories of the daughter he lost confused him. There were moments when Ellie acted that reminded him of Sarah but the two of them were nothing alike, while Ellie was loud and brash, Sarah was gentle and soft-spoken This brief moment you look so young and innocent, a child that never got to be a child. You looked like his child.

“No one’s going to hurt you babygirl,” He says as he rises to his feet looking down at his daughter until he blinks and there you lay. He whispers into the air his oath to you.

“I promise.”

Where the Wild Things Are Tags

@afictionaladventure16 @amy172 @amyispxnk @ashisabitgay @batgurl42 @bobbypickl3 @christinamadsen @clovergray @cozyphine @daemontargaryenwhore @darthrue @daughterofthequeen @ellistyle @enamoredofbella @enfppixie @enfppuff @fictional-character-whore @frootloops1213 @gods-menace @ilovehotdadsandshit @ioonatv @jmillersgirl @kitdjarin1 @lainekyuu @legoemma @lemonlaides @lorenaloveslewis @love-giselle @lovelyygirl8 @lunawants @maelartasch @marvelandhamilton @melonmochi @minaridior @n7cje @oscarissac2099 @pandorascosmic @phoenixgurl030 @poetoflawed @queenofthekill @randomhoex @rannifer @rhaenyramistress @scoliobean @screechingsandwichtriumph @severussimp @shotgun-shelby @stargurl99 @stickthegremlin @strangesthirdeye @supernerdycookietrashblrr @theclassicvinyldragon @theredvelvetbitch @todoroki-simp @tracysnook @viviio3o @wife-to-pedro-pascal @your-shifting-gurl

If your name is crossed out tumblr won’t let me tag you for some reason. Sorry :(

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eclec-tech · 2 years ago

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Let's get into this "Tech is dead" thing...

Until someone from the show confirms that Tech is dead, I don't believe it. We've seen this before. Echo died in an explosion. Nope. Ahsoka fell when she dueled Vader. That didn't stick. Maul, Palpatine, Leia, Mace Windu...okay, that last one is still in the air. But my point is that we never saw a body. Face it. If they wanted Tech dead, they would have given him a shoulder wound. I lost track of how many times that proved fatal this season.

For starters, it would be a very bad move! Tech was probably the most loved character on the show even before they further developed his character this season. To remove him from the show would deprive a lot of people of someone who gives them a feeling of true representation in Star Wars.

Then there's Phee. That last "conversation" she tried to have with him was awkward and very specific. They animated him in such a way that he was obviously avoiding eye contact. He was uncomfortable. He didn't want to say goodbye. I don't think he knew how. It looked to me like they were setting us up for a reunion scene.

Now let's talk about Hemlock. Him being in possession of Tech's goggles is another reason I think he's alive. When he held out the goggles and said, "I'm afraid this is all I could salvage," it suggested to me that Hemlock has him. It doubly struck me since he had just used the term "fascinating" in the same spirit of scientific curiosity Tech had used earlier in the season with the Zillo Beast. The only way I can see Tech being alive but not captured in this scenario would be if there is a raging river or deep crevasse beneath the train and all they found nearby was the goggles. (Which means that, if he is alive, we will finally get that goggleless Tech we've been wanting to see so badly all this time.)

Let's not forget the most important thing of all. Tech is an incredibly capable soldier. He is resourceful, exceptionally well-trained, and was fully kitted-out when he fell. It's not hard for me to imagine him using a grappling hook and cable or other means to keep from falling to his death. He said it himself. He has the "ability to think clearly in stressful situations". And if Hemlock has him, he's going to need it.

All this gives me great hope for season three. If Hemlock does have Tech, he would have him transferred to Mt. Tantiss on Weyland. Now, Crosshair and Tech are together with other no-longer-Imperial clones. Omega is there with Nala Se, who wants Omega as far from there as possible. Nala Se is no longer in a cell, but working in a lab—under guard, but with access to equipment. Factor in Omega's clone sister and this has all the earmarks of an epic escape episode.

Fingers crossed.

#tech tbb #omega tbb #phee tbb #phee genoa #crosshair tbb #nala se #dr hemlock #emerie karr #the bad batch #the summit #plan 99 #bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #my two credits #bad batch season 3

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scribblesofagoonerr · 1 year ago

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Don't give up yet, I'm not letting you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, D- Don't give up yet, I'm not letting you.

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Back again with another part, I've had a really shitty day if I'm honest and so, umm, writing this now has sort of helped, I guess?

Once again nothing has been proof-read so yeah, it won't make any sense maybe and this ones' a bit longer than the rest but once I get carried away I just can't stop so this is definitely going to have a few more parts to this one. I just don't know how many that will be, so I guess we'll see what happens.

Thank you each and every single one of you for the response to this small fic series so far, I'm so glad that people are liking it so much.

The confession you have made leaves the room feeling a tense atmosphere, the girls will not let you give up so easily so they make a decision on your behalf to help you on the right path to get better.

tw: heavy angst, mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"What... What does that even mean?" Katie furrows her eyebrows as she looks at you for a more logical answer.

"I'm tired, I'm so tired and I can't keep on fighting this battle anymore" You speak quietly, afraid to meet their eyes.

Each one of them really did mean so much to you, they all look heart broken with the what you had confessed.

Steph, the Aussie girl that made you feel so loved

Kim, your captain who always talked sense into you

Jen, the brave Scots' woman who you can rely on

Caitlin, the second Aussie that you love despite how annoying she is

Katie, the Irish girl who acts all tough but is a total softie

Beth, the blonde who gives great advice when you need it

Viv, the dutch who you cheers you up when she sneaks you ice cream

Lia, the swiss girl that gives you the best hugs sometimes

& Leah, the one who stuck around and made you feel at home

Your family, you would really miss them all.

However, you knew it was time.

It was the only way, you couldn't do it any longer.

The battle was too hard, it needed to end.

"Y/N, you're awake!" Vic burst into the room and broke the sudden silence before she spins and looks back towards the door. "Less! Kyra! Lotte! Laura! Y/N/N is awake!" she shouts loud enough to get the attention of the three remaining girls not in the room.

As right on queue, the rest of the girls all run in and smile widely when they see you awake and sat up in the hospital bed.

"Y/N/N, you're awake!" Laura says as she grins at you before she walks over and hugs you.

"Hi Y/N/N!" Alessia smiles brightly, glad to see you're awake.

"Y/N/N!" Kyra shouted aloud, right down the blondes' ear beside her.

"Ow, Kyra. That was right down my ear" Alessia grumbles as she glares at the Aussie girl before she shakes her head and walks over to your beside to exchange a hug with you.

"Glad that you're awake, Y/N. You gave us all a scare" Lotte came over and gave you a gentle hug before she ruffles your hair.

None of them 4 girls had caught the glum expressions on the older girls' faces.

"So how long do you think it'll be before your back on the pitch and we can prank everyone?" Kyra questions taking it upon herself to plop herself down on the end of the bed.

"Hopefully not too long" You take the chance to put a front on in front of the girls in the room. "I'll be back before you know it and thrashing you out there!" you give her a grin to hide the deep pain inside.

"How're you feelin' kid?" Lotte glances at you concerned.

"Oh you know, fabulous. Just had the best 24 hour nap" You can't help but joke with the girls even with them all looking so distraught. "Ah come on girls, cheer up. I'm not dead yet, you know?" You tell them.

"I'm sorry no I can't do this. I can't sit here and pretend that everything is okay and fine, when it's not... It's far from okay" Leah spoke up as she goes to move off the bed from where she sat beside you.

"What's going on?" Vic asks confused, having not been in the room previously.

"Y/N/N is tired of life, she wants to give up on it" Leah tells them as her bottom lip wobbles at she tells the rest of the girls what you had said.

"W... What do you mean?" Laura asks, confused and not understanding what the blonde means.

"Y/N wants to die" Leah drops the bombshell before she presses a kiss that lasts longer than usual and then starts to walk away.

"What?" Alessia gasps as her eyes widen in shock as she looks at you.

"Wait, Le... No!" You shot up as you try and latch onto her arm. "Le, don't leave me... I need you-- Please, come back!" you shout aloud as you thrash your arms around.

"I'll go and find her" Lia is quick to follow her, leaving the rest of the girls all still staring at you.

"Y/N, you need to be careful of your bandages or there'll rip" Steph says gently as she looks concerned about your well-being now while she moves to stand by your beside.

"I don't care, I don't... I don't care! Leah! Don't go, come back!" You continue to put up a fight to get out of the hospital bed. "Please, please, c... come back!" you scream at the top of your voice.

What have you done? You made her so upset.

You've made them all so upset, your a horrible person.

Why did you have to blurt it out like that? Your so stupid.

Stupid, selfish... You're nothing but a huge let down.

The voices inside your head was taunting you, you just needed them to stop.

Watching the one person that's always stuck by your side, walk away, it hurts you more that you realise.

More than any pain you currently feel, why did you go and say that?

"Calm down Y/N/N. You'll make yourself sick if your not careful" Beth tells you as she moves to stand on the other side of the bed as she pulls you into her arms for a hug as you just break down into sobs.

"I... I don't care, I don't... Leah! Come back!" Your now sobbing as you still try and do your best to get out of bed to go after the blonde, although it wasn't any good when you had so many different wires and monitors attached to you. "Le, please... please, don't leave me!"

Why did it hurt so much for her to walk away like that? You really were so selflish.

"Deep breaths, Y/N. Just keep on taking deep breaths" Steph adds in, trying to make it to the point where you didn't get yourself too upset that you were physically hurting yourself again.

"I'll be back" Kim eyes you wearily as she exhales a sigh before she also leaves the room to go and find the two girls.

"Leah?" Lia found Leah sat slouched down against one of the walls outside of your hospital room.

Leah peers up to look at the Swiss women, "I can't be in there right now" she mumbles quietly. " I... I just can't do it, I can't sit there and listen to crack jokes about death and be so optemistic when she... when she said something like that, I just can't" she explains to the older girl.

"I know" Lia replies in agreement and moves sit beside her.

"She said that she wants to die, Wally" Leah states as she stares straight out in front of her.

"I... I know" Lia repeats as she exhales a sigh and wraps her free arm around the blonde.

"She said she wants out of life... I... I-- Why?" Leah asks in disbelief as the tears threaten to spill.

"I don't know, Le" Lia mumbles and bits her bottom slightly.

"S...She said she wants to die, Wally" Leah voice quiviers as she repeats what they heard. "She's a teenage girl, s... she has so much more to achieve, so much more-- H... How can she be so depressed about life that she would rather be dead instead?" she questions distraught.

"She's suffering Le" Lia swallows the lump that forms in her throat as she hugs the blonde in her arms. "She's been suffering for a long time and we just didn't know, but we can help now" she tries to speak positive about it all.

"I... I thought she was doing better, she... she was doing better. I don't get it, what happened that made her do this?" Leah wonders numbly as she roughly wipes the tears away and shakes her head. "We can't let her die, we can't let her give up just so easily. She needs to fight... She has to fight!" she adds in.

"We will help her, we won't let her suffer in silence anymore" Kim speaks up as she joins the two of them as she exhales a shaky breath. "Y/N is one of our own, we'll be there for her and she'll get better" she tells them honestly.

"But how can we do that when she doesn't even want the help?" Leah questions as she shakes her head in disagreement. "You heard her in there, Kim! You heard what she said, she doesn't want to live anymore, she did what she did on purpose. H... How can we help her?" she questions as her voice breaks even more.

"We need to make a plan, we can come up with a way to help her... Even if she doesn't want the help" Kim declares with determination in her voice.

"But how do we do that? We can't keep an eye on her 24/7, when we have training and stuff, can we?" Lia glances at the Scots' woman in confusion.

"We keep her in hospital where she'll be safe" Kim tells the two of them.

"And how do we do that? I imagine as soon as she gets the chance then she'll bolt out of here" Leah scoffs and shakes her head, knowing you all too well and you were stubborn when it come to some things.

"We don't let her have the chance to do that then, still is still a minor remember? Technically that means, that you, Leah, since you're her guardian so too speak, you can make that decision for her and notify the doctors of your concern for her own welfare" Kim explains to the blonde, which was somewhat true now since you had moved in with her.

"Keeping her here against her own will? She'd hate me then for sure" Leah mutters as she rubs her hands down her face, feeling the stress of everything even more when the decision was resting on her shoulders.

"She might do at first, but soon enough she'll realise that you're only doing this to help her because you love her just like we all do" Kim gives the blonde a sympathetic smile.

"Kim is right Leah, this will be the best thing for Y/N" Lia speaks up after she had been quiet for a bit.

Leah glances between the two girls that she is sat with. "Is it, really?" she asks, still unsure about it all.

"You know it is Le" Lia states, knowingly.

Okay, maybe Kim has a point there then.

This would be the best decision to make right now.

"Alright, but how do we get here to stay here?" Leah asks, not knowing how to even go about this.

"First things first, we-- you speak to the doctors, you tell them that she cut herself and has admitted that she intended to do it. That's validation for the doctors to detain her for up to 72 hours at least" Kim explains the logical side of it all.

"That is something that I don't think she will like very much" Lia frowns, shaking her head as she listens to the older women.

Leah frowns and shakes her head. "A psych hold? I don't think she'll like that very much" The Swiss women tells her captain

"No, she won't but she won't have much choice if the doctors believe she's at risk of hurting herself again" Kim confesses to them as she exhales a deep sigh. "The doctors will run further assessment to determine whether they need to keep her in for longer and in the mean time, it gives us chance to talk to Jonas and the medical staff, fill them in what's happened and create a proper plan going forward" she adds in.

"And what if you determine that she needs to stay for longer than 72 hours?" Lia questions the Scots' woman.

"Then we cross that bridge when we come to it" Kim replies to the blonde as she moves to crouch down beside her.

"I know that it'll hurt to walk away and leave her here in the hospital Le, but you know as well that this is the right way, it's the only way for her to get better" Lia says honestly.

"Remember that Y/N is our family and we will always be there for her even if she will be mad at us about this" Kim adds in.

"Oh yeah, she is definitely going to be super mad about this" Leah chuckles in realisation about it.

Sure enough you would probably be mad with her, but Leah wasn't going to let you try and kill yourself again, not on her watch.

You were her family even if you were a complete pain is the ass sometimes, but you were her pain in the ass to deal with.

#arsenal x reader #woso x reader #arsenal women x reader #leah williamson #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #leah williamson x teen!reader #heavy angst #arsenal x teen!reader #woso one shot #leah williamson x reader #arsenal wfc x reader

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crazyoffher · 2 years ago

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FEELS LIKE FOREVER.

billie eilish x fem!reader

summary: despite accompanying billie on her world tour, you didn't see her much, and it's up to you to express your concern about her overworking.

warnings: mentions of overworking, fluff, unedited.

word count: 1100+

a/n: anon, your request wasn't very specific so if this isn't what you had in mind, i'm very sorry. thank you for sending in a request, though, and i hope you enjoy 🫶 (also by "gf" i interpreted girlfriend so please lmk if you meant something else)

The tour was hard on Billie. She loved it to death, but sometimes she wished that she had longer periods to rest. She was glad to have you around this time, traveling around the world with her and watching every single show she performed, and at the end of the night, you’d be right by her side as the two of you fell into content slumbers.

She didn’t wish for just more time for relaxation and to continue working on her next album, but to also spend time with you. She felt bad that, though you were with her, you weren’t at the same time, sometimes not seeing her for hours at a time despite being in the same buildings. Billie wanted nothing more than to have a lazy day with you, caught up in the tour bus with no calls regarding the album, performances, or anything else.

“Billie, stop that.” Maggie argued, scolding the girl who was using her microphone to act as if she had a dick, flinging it around, which made you laugh. You were watching Billie and Finneas run through the fundamentals during a sound rehearsal while sitting off to the side in a chair that the crew had set up for you and Billie’s parents in GA, Maggie and Patrick to your right.

Billie tore the microphone away from it’s position with a frown, ready to reply to her mother, when her manager, Danny, called her and Finneas over to go through the setlist. That left Maggie and Patrick to talk about anything while you scrolled through Twitter, liking the posts that talked about you and Billie positively and skipping the ones that were in a negative light.

“(Y/N)?” You turned your head at the sound of your name, meeting Maggie’s gaze as she smiled warmly at you. “How's it been for you this past tour?”

You thought about it for a second, letting out a small cough before replying, “Boring at times, fun at times. I find myself alone in the tour bus a lot, just thinking, you know?”

You loved the older woman to death. The O’Connell family itself had been there for you when your own family couldn’t, and no amount of money or love could ever repay them in your mind. “That’s fair; I expected you and Billie to be together a lot more, but she’s been spending a lot of her free time on the album. I tell her to take a break, but she just nods before putting her headphones back on and continues.”

You nodded, not failing to catch the gloom in her eyes. “I’m slightly afraid of her schedule; she’s constantly working,” you replied, “but I can see why. She doesn’t say it, but she’s afraid to get backlash on another song the way “NDA” was reviewed.”

Before Maggie could reply, you felt two arms wrap around your shoulders and a head rest on top of yours. “Talking about me?”

“Maybe.” You tilted your head up, giving her a quick kiss, which she reciprocated with a bright, genuine smile when you pulled away. Maggie and Patrick stood up, deciding to leave you two be, but not without a reassuring hand on your knee and Maggie telling Billie where they were headed.

Billie rounded around you, sitting where her mom was not too long ago and noticing a different glint in your eyes. “You okay?”

“Just tired.” You sent her a smile. It wasn’t entirely false; you had stayed up later than usual to fill out emergency documents your workplace had sent you, despite the fact that you technically were on vacation. “Yeah, me too. The rehearsal ended, and there are still a couple hours until the show. You wanna go lay down?”

You looked at her with a confused face. “I thought you were going to continue mixing the song you’re working on?”

Billie sighed, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into her. You laid your head on her shoulder, and she rested her head on yours. “I’ve thought about how much time I’ve been dedicating to the album when I should be taking time for you too. It feels like forever when I’m in the studio, mixing or writing, and you’re alone on the bus.”

“It’s fine, Billie; I know how important this album is to you,” you reassured her, placing your hand on her thigh. “I miss you a lot, and I won’t lie about that, but I wish you’d just take some time off working on the album. Not for me, but for you.”

Billie smiled down at you, taking her fingers under your chin to tilt your head up at her and embrace her in a soft kiss. “I’m more than happy you care about me, love. Come on,” she carefully stood up, and you eased out of your position on her shoulder before taking her outstretched hand, “let’s go to the green room and lay down.”

“One could say you’re happier than ever.”

“Oh, hush it.”

On the way there, the two of you were ultimately stopped by Danny, who seemed to be in a rush. “Billie! I know you’ve been working on the album a lot but I was wondering if you could re-record the-“

“Not today.” Billie interrupted with a short reply, and you smacked her upper chest at the tone she held. “Um,” you started off, eyeing the green room that wasn’t far away, “if you really need her, then it’s fine; I could-“

“Tomorrow, Danny.” The older man just nodded, giving the two of you a small smile before holding his phone to his ear, seemingly having been on a call the entire time, and rushing away.

“You’re busy tomorrow, though.” You quirked, having memorized Billie’s schedule for the month out of boredom one day. “You have to get up early for an interview, then a meeting, then rehearsals, then-“

“(Y/N),” she cut you off from your blabbering, holding you closer to her as you walked to the nearing green room, “Danny will realize sooner or later that I can’t make time to re-record... whatever he was getting at. I could use my small time slot to spend with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely, baby.” Billie pushed open the door to the green room, and you practically rushed to the couch and laid down, holding your arms out for her to lay into, which she did with precaution.

She preferred holding you, but she didn’t mind being held herself, and it didn’t take long for Finneas to walk in the room on a panic search for Billie and find the two of you knocked out, limbs entangled with one another.

☟ ☟ ☟

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @annalestern @jennas-10

#billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish x fem!reader #finneas o’connell #finneas #happier than ever #celebrity x reader #singer x reader #wwafawdwg #dont smile at me #claudia sulewski #fem!reader #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x y/n #wattpad #fanfiction #fanfic #lesbian

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soccer-love · 14 days ago

Text

Snowed in

Sarah Zadrazil x reader

The invitation had been casual, almost to casual.

"Come with me to Austria for the break." Sarah had said, leaning against the locker with that easy smile, she always had. "My parents are away and asked me if I could come by to see if everything is okay. And I need someone to keep my company."

Y/N had agreed before really thinking it through. And now, standing in Sarahs childhood home - surround by the warmth of her memories, a smell of pine and fresh bread filling the air - was both, heaven and hell.

Not because of the Snowstorm brewing outside.

But because of her feelings for Sarah.

Day one

The snow had been falling since the early morning, turning the small village into a winter wonderland.

They had gone to get some groceries for the next days, knowing that it could get hard to get out of the house.

Y/N stood by the window, watching the delicate flakes swirl in the dim light.

"Pretty huh?"

Y/N jumped slightly at the sound of Sarahs voice, turning to find her standing close.

She had taken a shower and the smell of her body wash was filling the air.

"You okay?" Sarah softly asked.

"Yeah, just...taking it all in."

Sarah hummed in understanding, stepping even closer, there hands brushing.

"It's nice to have you here, the house feels...warmer."

Y/N couldnt help but glance at her lips, just for a second, but Sarah noticed. She always noticed.

How could she not?

There had been moments like this for months. Moments where they would hug for longer than they should, where she would catch Y/N staring at her from across the moment and where she would find herself looking at Y/N lips.

Maybe she would have made a move, maybe she would have admitted her feelings for Y/N, but there was just one problem.

Y/N had came from Hoffenheim at the start of the season, she was one of the best players on the team, at only 19 years old, making it a twelve year age different.

For a moment, it felt like something would happen - like the inches between them would disappear - but then Sarah stepped back, clearing her throat.

"Are you hungry?"

Y/N let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"I'm starving."

Day two

The snow had been falling all through the night, making it impossible to go anywhere by car.

As Y/N got up in the morning, Sarah was sitting in the living room, rummaging through an old box of photos, the table already set for breakfast.

"Good morning." Y/N said as she sat down on the couch, two cups of coffee in her hands.

Sarah hummed in response and took the cub from Y/N.

Every now and then she would pull out a photo, showing it to Y/N, who tired to memories every one of them. Trying to remember everything of little Sarah.

In the afternoon, when it had stopped snowing for a while they went outside, taking a walk.

The snow was deeper than expected, crunching under their boots as Y/N followed Sarah, leading her down a small path.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Y/N asked, she grew up in northern Germany and wasn't used to this much snow.

Sarah glanced over her shoulder, flashing that trademark mischievous grin. "What, afraid of a little snow?"

Y/N scoffed "I'm afraid of freezing to death actually."

Sarah laughed, the sound echoing through the silent landscape. "Come on, we’re almost at the lake. It’s worth it, I promise."

Y/N sighed but followed, watching the way Sarah moved effortlessly through the snow, her long legs barely struggling while Y/N felt like she was wading through quicksand. "Easy for you to say," she muttered, stumbling slightly.

Sarah glanced back at her just in time to see Y/N’s boot catch on an unseen patch of ice beneath the snow. "Y/N, watch ou—"

But it was too late.

Y/N’s feet slid out from under her, she let out a startled yelp, arms flailing as she went down. Sarah lunged forward instinctively, reaching out to catch her, but instead, she was pulled down along with Y/N.

With a muffled thud, they landed in a tangled heap in the snow, Y/N flat on their back and Sarah sprawled on top of her.

For a moment, there was nothing but silence, their breaths coming out in soft, visible puffs against the cold air.

Y/N blinked up at Sarah, she was so, so close. Her face hovered just inches above Y/N's, her lips slightly parted, warm breath ghosting over Y/N’s chilled skin. Snowflakes clung to Sarah’s lashes, and her blue eyes flickered between Y/N’s lips and her gaze, something unreadable lingering in them.

Y/N swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. "Uh... hi."

Sarah’s lips twitched into a small, amused smile. "Hi," she murmured, but didn’t move.

Neither of them did. The weight of Sarah on top of Y/N, the way their bodies pressed together through the layers of coats and scarves, sent a shiver down Y/N’s spine that had nothing to do with the cold.

Y/N’s gaze dropped to Sarah’s lips -God, so close. She could just lean up a little, close the distance, and-

Sarah’s eyes darkened, and for a second, it seemed like she might do it first. Her hand, which had instinctively grabbed onto Y/N's jacket during the fall, tightened slightly.

"Are you okay?" she then asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I think I hurt my shoulder a little, but otherwise yes." she said, her eyes locked with Sarahs. "What about you?"

"Well you are a pretty good thing to land on top of, really good. But now let's get you out of the snow." Sarah said, carefully getting up again and then holding her hand out for Y/N to grab.

And as she pulled her up, they were so close again. Sarah let out a sight, her hard was beating so fast, she was scared it would jump out of her chest if Y/N came any closer.

"Let's go." she grabbed Y/N by her hand again, to prevent her from falling again.

The walked back to the house, where Sarah sat Y/N down by the fireplace with some hot chocolate, before going to get something from her drawer.

"Take off your shirt." she demanded as she came back, sitting down behind Y/N.

"Excuse me?" Y/N asked, an amused smile on her face.

"I want to take a look at your shoulder and put some creme on it" Sarah replied, nestling on the hem of Y/N's dark blue shirt.

"I—uh—it’s fine, I can do it myself." Y/N hesitated, her heart suddenly pounding for reasons that had nothing to do with the injury.

"I don’t remember asking," she said, softer now but still commanding. "Come on, I’ve seen you in the locker room a million times."

Y/N swallowed hard, heat creeping up her neck. "Yeah, but this isn’t exactly the locker room, is it?"

Sarah gave her a look. "Y/N."

With a resigned sigh, Y/N slowly pulled off her shirt, feeling the cool air hit her skin. She sat on the couch, tense, as Sarah knelt beside her, squeezing a generous amount of the cream onto her fingers.

Sarah’s hands were warm when they pressed against Y/N’s bare shoulder, the contrast against the cold cream sending a shiver down Y/N’s spine. Sarah's fingers moved with gentle precision, smoothing the cream over the tender skin with slow, deliberate strokes.

Y/N tried—really tried—not to think about how close Sarah was, how her breath ghosted over Y/N’s neck, how every touch made something stir deep in their chest.

"You know," Sarah said quietly, breaking the silence, "my mom used to do this for me after my games when I was a kid. Every bruise, every scrape... she'd sit me down and fix me up, no matter how much I protested."

Y/N smiled faintly, trying to focus on anything other than the way Sarah’s fingertips traced delicate circles over her shoulder. "You? Protesting? I can't imagine that."

Sarah chuckled softly, her touch lingering a second too long. "I guess I’ve always been stubborn."

Y/N turned slightly, their faces close now—too close. The firelight flickered, casting warm shadows over Sarah’s features, and Y/N’s gaze drifted to her lips before she could stop herself.

"I like it," Y/N said quietly.

Sarah blinked, her fingers stilling against Y/N's skin. "What?"

Y/N swallowed hard, realizing what she had just admitted. "Your touch. I... I like it."

Sarah didn’t pull away. Instead, her eyes darkened, her fingers grazing Y/N’s collarbone lightly, teasingly. "Yeah?" she murmured, her voice husky.

Y/N nodded, feeling her breath hitch. "Yeah."

For a moment, it felt inevitable. Sarah leaned in, their noses brushing, her lips hovering just above Y/N’s. Y/N felt the tension coil in their stomach, their eyes fluttering shut, waiting—

But then Sarah exhaled sharply and pulled back, grabbing the box of creme and getting up.

"I will make us some food." she informed Y/N, leaving her behind.

Y/N let out a frustrated laugh, watching as Sarah walked away, the ghost of her touch still burning on her skin.

Day three

The snow hadn't stopped and Sarah insisted on teaching Y/N how do bake her moms famous Appel strudel, to pass some time, but of curse without sharing her familys secret recipe.

Flour dusted the countertops—and Y/N’s face—while Sarah sat on the counter next to her, correcting her terrible dough-rolling skills.

"You're terrible at this." Sarah teased, before jumping of the counter and grabbing a hand full of flower.

"Here let me show you." She stepped behind Y/N, placing her hands on top of hers.

Y/N froze as Sarah’s breath tickled the back of her neck, her body pressing close. "You have to knead it like this," Sarah murmured, guiding Y/N's hands with slow, deliberate movements.

Sarah felt her heart beat faster, as Y/N turned around, their faces suddenly only inches apart.

Sarah noticed Y/N, looking at her lips again and for a second she thought something would happen but Y/N pulled back, grabbing a handful of flower and tossing it playfully at Sarahs face.

"How old are you? 5?" Sarah asked, trying to wipe to flower off but before she cold do so Y/N grabbed her hand.

She reached out, using a finger to draw a heart in the flower on Sarahs cheek.

"Some people say I'll be turning 20 this year." Y/N answered, turning around again to put the strudel into the oven.

"So basically a child."

"You take that back." Y/N grabbed another hand full of flower, ready to throw it at Sarah.

"Don't you dare throw that at me!"

"So what if I do?" Y/N smiled mischievously, raising her hand.

"I will throw back."

Y/N pretended to think about it for a second, using her chance to throw the flower at Sarah and running out of the kitchen.

"HEY!" Sarah screamed, storming after her, she chased her to the living room and then finally managed to grab her.

Y/N suddenly stopped, forcing Sarah to run into her, and nocking both of them over, only this time, Y/N landed on top.

"We have to stop doing this." Y/N whispered, hovering above the older women.

"Doing what?"

"Landing on top of each other. Could be weird if it happened during practice."

Sarah smiled, her eyes flickering over Y/N face, her skin looked so soft, it was hard for her not to just touch it.

Maybe she would have done it, but the sound of the phone ringing broke the moment.

"I need to get that one." Sarah mumbled, quickly getting out form under Y/N and hurried to get the phone.

Day four

The power had gone out during the night, leaving the house bathed in an eerie stillness.

Y/N sat on the floor, leaning against the couch with a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Sarah was next to her, sitting cross-legged, poking idly at the fire with a metal poker. The flames crackled and spat, filling the quiet space between them.

"You ever think about how weird life is?" Sarah mused suddenly, her voice low and thoughtful.

Y/N glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Weird how?"

Sarah stared into the fire, the glow catching the sharp angles of her face. "Like... how we end up where we are. How we meet the people we meet. If it’s all just random... or if there’s some kind of plan to it."

Y/N thought for a moment, shifting to get more comfortable. "I don’t know. I think about that sometimes too. Whether things happen for a reason, or if we're just... floating through life, hoping for the best."

Sarah chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Floating, huh?"

"Yeah," Y/N said, smiling faintly. "Like...you know when I was younger, I thought I knew what I wanted to do in live. Becoming a teacher, working with kids you know. But then I got better at soccer and I was playing for Hoffenheim and basically the next day I got a call from Alex, asking if I wanted to play for Bayern Munich. It showed me that sometimes you don't get want you want, but what you need."

Sarah nodded slowly, her gaze distant. "You're right."

Y/N glanced at her, sensing something deeper beneath her words. "Did you have a plan?"

Sarah exhaled, running a hand through her hair. "Not really. I mean, I knew I wanted to play. But there were times I wondered if I was good enough, if I was making the right choices." She paused, her fingers absently tracing patterns on her knee. "And sometimes I think... what if I hadn’t made it? Who would I be without football?"

Y/N felt a pang in her chest at the vulnerability in Sarah’s voice. "I think you'd still be... you. Football or not."

Sarah gave her a small, grateful smile, but her eyes still held a shadow. "It’s hard to imagine, though, isn’t it? Taking it all away. Who are we, really, without the one thing we've built our whole lives around?"

Y/N swallowed, feeling the weight of that question. "I guess... we’re just people, trying to figure it out like everyone else."

Sarah let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "That’s kind of terrifying."

"Yeah," Y/N agreed, bumping Sarah’s knee lightly with hers. "But maybe it’s also kind of... freeing?"

Sarah looked at her, a flicker of something thoughtful in her expression. "Freeing how?"

Y/N shrugged. "Like... maybe we’re more than just what we do. Maybe we get to decide who we are, over and over again. Maybe some of us are still searching for what they want in live, for who they want to be."

Sarah stared at her for a long moment, something unreadable in her gaze. "You ever feel like you're still searching?"

Y/N sighed, her fingers playing with the edge of the blanket. "Every day." she looked down, avoiding Sarahs gaze.

"It's not that I'm unhappy about my life, about playing football, but sometimes I'm asking myself if this is already everything."

"I think you need to appreciate that little moments more, remember how happy you were when Giuli invited you to hang out with them for the first time? I could see it in your eyes, that it made you feel seen."

"So you were watching me?" Y/N asked, a smile forming on her lips.

"That was not what I was trying to say."

"I know. But I get what you mean and you are right with that." Y/N admitted, looking up at Sarah.

For a while, they just sat there, the fire crackling, the wind howling outside, and the space between them charged with something unspoken.

Y/N turned her head slightly, watching Sarah in the soft firelight—the way the light danced across her features, the quiet vulnerability in her eyes. It was so rare to see her like this, stripped of her usual confidence, just... real.

"I like this," Y/N said softly.

Sarah blinked, turning to look at her. "What?"

Y/N hesitated, her heart hammering in her chest. "Talking like this. With you."

Sarah’s lips curled into the softest of smiles. "Yeah. Me too."

"...I always do." Sarah admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N's breath caught in her throat. There was something about the way Sarah said it—soft, sincere, like a confession she hadn't meant to make. The fire crackled beside them, but the warmth Y/N felt had nothing to do with the flames.

Sarah seemed to realize what she had said and cleared her throat, quickly looking away. "I mean, you're new to the team. I like to make sure you're okay."

"Right," Y/N said, trying to ignore the way her pulse had jumped. "That makes sense."

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of unspoken words hanging between them. Y/N wanted to say something—wanted to ask why Sarah always seemed to pull away just when it felt like something was about to happen. But instead, she just nodded and looked back at the fire.

Sarah did the same, but Y/N could still feel her watching.

----

By nightfall, the storm had gotten worse and due to the lack of power there was no source of heat except the fire.

"This is ridiculous." Sarah muttered, she had stoped in the doorway on her way to go to bed, a blanked tightly wrapped around her shoulders. "We’re gonna freeze, to death in our rooms."

Y/N, curled up under a mountain of blankets on the couch, shivered. "Tell me about it."

"Alright, give me a moment." Sarah said, walking away.

Just a few minutes later she came back, carrying the big blanked from her bed and a few pillows.

"Move!" she demanded, dropping the pile off next to Y/N.

"What are you doing?"

"It'll be warmer if we share a bed and here we also have the fire." she explained, laying the pillows down on one end of the couch and spreading the blanked. "Unless you’d rather turn into an icicle out here."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. Sharing a bed with Sarah? After everything that had happened these past few days?

But she was freezing. And Sarah was right—it was just practical. Nothing more.

"Fine," Y/N mumbled, trying to sound unaffected.

But when they were finally lying next to each other, under layers of blankets, it was impossible to ignore the way their bodies naturally gravitated closer. The house was quiet except for the howling wind outside and the cracking of the fire.

"Better?" Sarah murmured, her voice close in the dark.

Y/N swallowed hard. "Yeah. Better."

Sarah shifted, and Y/N felt the slightest brush of her fingers against her arm. Maybe it was accidental. Maybe it wasn’t.

Neither of them moved away.

The minutes passed, but for Y/N it was impossible to fall asleep, not when her heart was beating that fast with Sarah being so close.

Sarah exhaled softly, and Y/N could hear the slight smile in her voice. "You're not sleeping either?"

Y/N let out a quiet chuckle. "No chance. Too much on my mind."

Sarah hummed, staring up at the wooden ceiling. "Like what?"

Y/N hesitated. Like you. Like the way you look at me. Like the way I feel when you’re this close.

"Just… everything," she said instead, her voice softer now. "The storm, the season, the team… life, I guess."

Sarah turned her head slightly, watching her. "You put a lot of pressure on yourself."

Y/N huffed a quiet laugh. "Like you don’t?"

Sarah didn’t argue. They both knew the truth.

A few moments of silence passed before Sarah let out a quiet sigh. "You ever think about what you really want? Not in football I mean, but in live."

Y/N turned her head to face Sarah now, their faces just inches apart. The low light softened Sarah’s features, but her green-brown eyes were piercing in the dim glow.

"You're asking about my dreams?" Y/N asked in a teasing tone.

"I guess yeah."

"Sometimes," Y/N admitted. "But I try not to get caught up in things I can’t have."

Sarah’s lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say something—but then she hesitated. Instead, she reached up, tucking a strand of Y/N’s hair behind her ear. The gesture was so gentle, so deliberate, that it made Y/N’s breath hitch.

The silence between them stretched, thick and heavy, until Sarah spoke again—barely above a whisper.

"And what if… what if you could have it?"

Y/N’s heart pounded.

"I think I...I wish for someone to share all of this with, the good moments, the bad...just my life."

The warmth of Sarah’s fingers lingered against her skin.

She didn’t move away.

She couldn’t.

A sharp clatter from outisde broke the moment.

They both tensed, their heads snapping toward the doorway. It sounded like something had fallen—maybe the wind knocking something loose outside.

Sarah let out a breath, dragging a hand through her hair. Nature just had the worst timing ever.

"Get some sleep, Y/N," She murmured after a moment.

Y/N turned her head, watching her. "Yeah," she whispered.

But she knew she wouldn’t sleep.

Not with Sarah this close.

Not with the promise of something hanging between them, just out of reach.

Day five

Warmth. That was the first thing Y/N registered as she drifted toward consciousness. Not just from the thick blankets cocooning her, but from something -or rather, someone- pressed against her side.

The second thing she noticed was light, soft, golden light spilling across the cabin, warming her face. The storm was gone.

Slowly, she blinked her eyes open, and the sight nearly stole her breath away. The snow outside glowed beneath the morning sun, untouched and glistening. It poured through the small window, casting everything in a hazy, golden glow—including Sarah, who was still fast asleep beside her.

Y/N swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of their position. Sometime during the night, they had shifted closer, their bodies now tangled under the blankets. Sarah’s arm was draped over Y/N’s waist, her face nestled against her shoulder, breaths slow and even.

Y/N didn’t dare to move. Not yet.

Sarah’s hair was messy from sleep, a few strands falling across her forehead, catching the sunlight in a way that made her look almost ethereal. Her face was peaceful, her lips slightly parted, her body completely relaxed against Y/N’s.

Y/N exhaled slowly, willing her racing heart to settle. She should move. She should. But there was something about this moment—about the warmth, the golden light, the quiet—that made her want to stay just a little longer.

Then, Sarah stirred.

A small sigh left her lips as she shifted, her hold on Y/N tightening slightly before she stilled again. Y/N held her breath, her heart pounding.

And then—

“Mmh… comfy…” Sarah’s voice was low, thick with sleep.

Y/N swallowed. “Yeah?”

Sarah hummed, nuzzling closer. “Mhm… warm.”

Y/N could feel the heat in her own face now, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away.

The golden light danced across the room, the world outside perfectly still, as if waiting for them to wake up.

Sarah shifted again, finally cracking one eye open. She blinked lazily at Y/N before a slow, sleepy smile tugged at her lips.

“Morning,” she murmured.

Y/N’s breath hitched. “Morning.”

For a moment, they just lay there, golden light spilling over them, neither moving, neither speaking.

Then Sarah gave a contented sigh, stretching slightly before letting her head fall back onto the pillow, still close enough that Y/N could see the flecks of gold in her brown eyes.

“The storm’s gone,” Sarah mumbled, voice still husky with sleep.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah.”

Sarah glanced toward the window, taking in the sunlit snow, before turning back to Y/N. There was something unreadable in her gaze, something soft.

"If the weather stays like that I think the streets will be free of snow by tomorrow and then we can leave." Sarah explained, but there was no urgency in her voice. No rush to move. It was more like she didn't want to move at all.

"And what if I don't want to leave?"

Sarah's eyes flickered downward, just for a second.

Then she pulled back, just slightly—not hurriedly, not awkwardly, just… a shift. Like she knew they had lingered in this moment long enough. Like she had been aware of the closeness just as much as Y/N

Y/N let out a quiet breath she hadn’t realized she was holding

"I can leave you here, but beware that my parents are coming back on Sunday." Sarah answered before sitting up, rubbing a hand through her messy hair, squinting at the bright light filtering in through the window.

“Damn,” she murmured, staring out at the untouched snow. “It’s kinda beautiful.”

Y/N sat up slowly beside her, her shoulder brushing against Sarah’s. “Yeah.” But she wasn’t looking at the snow.

Sarah turned, catching Y/N’s gaze, and for just a second, something passed between them again—something quiet, something unspoken.

Then Sarah smirked, nudging Y/N playfully with her elbow. “Come on, kid. Time to see if our car is buried under a snowdrift.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at the nickname, but she couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips as she threw back the blankets.

----

The cold hit them the moment they stepped outside, but it was nothing compared to last night’s storm. The sky was clear now, and the world looked almost untouched under a thick blanket of fresh snow. The sun hung low, casting everything in a golden glow, making the frozen landscape almost beautiful.

Sarah stopped in her tracks and groaned dramatically. "My poor car.”

Y/N laughed, following her gaze. The vehicle was barely visible, buried under a ridiculous amount of snow. Only the side mirrors and the faintest outline of the roof stuck out.

“You sure you parked a car here? Cause I’m only seeing a snow sculpture,” Y/N teased.

Sarah shot her a look. “Very funny. Come on, let’s get to work before I freeze to death.”

She grabbed a shovel leaning against the wall and tossed another to Y/N, who barely caught it. Then they got to work, Sarah attacking the thicker piles with determined movements while Y/N brushed the snow off the windows and roof.

For a while, they worked in comfortable silence, the only sounds being their breathing and the scrape of shovels. But it didn’t take long before Y/N noticed the playful glint in Sarah’s eyes.

She should have seen it coming.

Sarah suddenly flung a shovel full of snow right at her, hitting her square in the side.

“Hey!” Y/N yelped, stumbling back.

Sarah grinned, eyes full of mischief. “Oh, sorry, was that your leg? My bad.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes, tightening her grip on her shovel. “You sure about that, Zadrazil?”

Before Sarah could react, Y/N scooped up a handful of snow with her gloved hands and launched it right at her chest.

Sarah let out a dramatic gasp. “Oh, that’s how it is?”

Y/N barely had time to smirk before Sarah lunged, grabbing a handful of snow and shoving it down the back of her jacket.

The shriek that left Y/N’s mouth was almost unholy. “Sarah! That’s cold!”

Sarah doubled over laughing, but Y/N wasn’t about to let that slide. She scooped up more snow and tackled Sarah, pushing her backward into a deep snowdrift. Sarah let out a surprised oof as she landed on her back, sinking halfway into the fluffy white powder.

Y/N stood over her, triumphant. “Karma.”

Sarah looked up at her, face flushed from the cold, a lazy grin on her lips. Then, before Y/N could react, Sarah grabbed her wrist and yanked—hard.

With a yelp, Y/N lost her balance and tumbled down beside her, landing with a soft puff in the snow. She turned her head and found Sarah already looking at her, still grinning. Their faces were close, breath visible in the cold air.

For a second, neither of them moved.

Then Sarah chuckled, breaking the moment. “Alright, now we should probably dig my car out before it freezes into the ground permanently.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and sat up, brushing the snow from her clothes. “Yeah, yeah. But just so you know—you totally started that.”

Sarah smirked. “And I totally won.”

Y/N shook her head, laughing as she stood up and reached out a hand to help Sarah up. Together, they finished the job, working side by side until the car was finally free from the snow.

By the time they stomped back into the house, shaking off the cold, something felt different. Lighter.

And just as Sarah pulled off her jacket, the room filled with a low hum.

They both froze.

Then, one by one, the lights flickered back on. The heater rumbled to life.

“No way,” Y/N breathed.

Sarah let out a triumphant laugh, throwing her arms up. “Yes! The universe loves us!”

Y/N smirked. “I think it just got tired of watching us suffer.”

Sarah grinned and nudged her toward the kitchen. “C’mon, now we celebrate. Hot coffee?”

Y/N smiled, warmth creeping into her chest. “Hot coffee sounds perfect.”

And as Sarah moved around the kitchen, Y/N couldn’t help but think -getting snowed in with her? Maybe not such a bad thing after all.

Day six

The cabin felt strangely empty now that their bags were packed. The fire had burned down to embers, and the golden morning sun streamed through the windows, making the wooden walls glow with warmth. Outside, the snow-covered trees stood still, the storm now a distant memory.

Y/N stood by the couch, fingers grazing the blanket they had shared. The past few days had felt like a dream - being snowed in with Sarah, the quiet moments by the fire, waking up tangled together. But now reality was creeping back in. They would leave soon, go back to Munich, back to their normal lives.

Sarah was standing near the door, her hands in the pockets of her jacket, watching her. There was something unspoken in her gaze, something Y/N could feel pressing against her chest like a weight.

“We should go,” Sarah said softly, but she didn’t move.

Y/N swallowed, taking a step forward. “Sarah…”

Sarah’s gaze dropped to Y/N’s lips. Just for a second.

That was all it took.

Y/N closed the distance between them, reached up, and kissed her.

For a heartbeat, Sarah froze.

Then she kissed back.

It was soft at first, hesitant, but then something shifted. Sarah’s hands found Y/N’s waist, pulling her closer. Y/N’s fingers tangled in the collar of Sarah’s jacket, holding on as if letting go would break something fragile.

It was desperate, breathless, too short.

Because suddenly, Sarah was pulling away.

She took a step back, shaking her head as if she needed to clear it. “Shit.” Her voice was hoarse. “We—” She exhaled sharply. “We shouldn’t have done that.”

Y/N blinked, still catching her breath. “Why not?”

Sarah raked a hand through her hair. “Because I’m—” She let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m so much older than you, Y/N.”

Y/N frowned. “So?”

Sarah let out a humorless chuckle. “So, it’s not that simple. You’re nineteen. I’m thirty-one. That’s a huge difference.”

Y/N shook her head, stepping closer. “I don’t care about that.”

“You should,” Sarah said, stepping back, rubbing a hand over her face. “I’m much older than you. I should know better.”

Y/N took a deep breath. “Sarah… who cares how old we are? We play on the same team, we live in the same world, we want the same things. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I know you feel it too.”

Sarah shook her head, but not in disagreement—more like she was trying to fight something she had already lost to.

“I do,” Sarah admitted quietly.

“Then stop pushing me away.”

Sarah looked at her, really looked at her. And whatever she saw must have been enough because, slowly, her walls started to crack.

She exhaled, then gave a small, almost reluctant smile. “You’re impossible.”

Y/N grinned. “You like that about me.”

Sarah let out a breath of laughter, shaking her head. Then, with a soft sigh, she reached out, cupping Y/N’s face and pulling her in for another kiss—this time slower, more certain.

When they pulled away, Sarah rested her forehead against Y/N’s again, smiling against her lips.

“Let’s go home,” she murmured.

And this time, when they walked out the door, they weren’t leaving anything behind. They were taking it with them.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #fc bayern frauen #sarah zadrazil x reader #sarah zadrazil #fcbfrauen #fcbfrauen x reader

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willalove75 · 1 month ago

Text

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 25 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Alcina and the girls take care of business. After that, they dive head first into planning your birthday party!

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI.

Tags: Just some fluff, maybe the tiniest hint of angst if you squint

Notes: Part 25! Heyyyyyy long time no see! I am SO, SO sorry it took me almost a goddamn year to update this fic!!!😭 I really didn't expect to not update this for so long. I was really only hoping to be away for a few months. For those who missed my latest life update in the notes of the last chapter, or if you forgot (lets be real that's totally what happened lmaoo) I had a baby!!! He was born in May and is truly the best thing in the entire world. Labor was ROUGH, I was in labor for 36 hours but he was perfect and healthy and a big chonk! (Almost 9lbs!) Postpartum has definitely been difficult, especially the first few months (PPD decided to BODY me four months in😅) but things are starting to finally calm down a bit and I've had the time, motivation AND energy to write lately!! WOO!!! I was NOT expecting this birthday party scene to be so damn long when I first pictured it. But it'll probably end up being about three chapters. Is it too long? Maybe. Probably. But I don't have the energy to nit-pick it to death and I'm afraid if I did, I'd think it's shit, lose all motivation, and take even longer to update this thing lmaooo Was this proofread? Kinda, but not really. Is it my favorite chapter I've ever written? Also no. But it does lay a bit of foundation for some other things later on! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it! Pls leave me a comment with your thoughts!

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The following evening, Alcina and the girls made their way down to the village. Alcina insisted that you didn’t wait up for them so you begrudgingly got yourself ready and fell asleep in Alcina’s massive bed, alone. What you assume was a few hours later, you awoke when the mattress dipped on Alcina’s side of the bed. Turning towards her, she smiled at you and pulled you into her chest.

“It’s done?” You asked, your voice still thick with sleep.

“Yes. Go back to sleep, draga.” She replied.

As you opened your mouth to ask more questions, Alcina shushed you and ran her long fingers through your hair. “Sleep.”

Knowing you weren’t going to win, coupled with your half-asleep state, you cuddled further into her and quickly fell back asleep.

Neither Alcina or the girls gave you details of what happened but they did tell you that the one child in the house was left unharmed and dropped at the doorstep of a neighbors house. For the rest of the occupants, only a few were brought back to the castle and taken straight into the dungeon. The rest never made it out. It was the one and only time that night was discussed, which frankly was fine with you. Guilt still ate at you, but you understood why things had to happen the way they did. Even if a small part of you still believed they should have been left alone.

After that night, the girls put all of their energy towards your birthday party. Once Alcina realized how out of hand things were getting she ended up taking over the majority of the planning - just as Cassandra had predicted.

It was decided that the party would be a black tie affair and the ballroom would be decorated with white and gold accents. Alcina asked you to come up with a list of guests you would want invited, even though the majority of the village would be invited anyway. It didn’t take you long to give her your list since you didn’t have many friends in the village. Your list consisted of your aunt, uncle, and cousins, a few acquaintances, and your best friend, Alexi.

“And who is this Alexi?” Alcina asked as she looked over your list.

“Oh, he’s my best friend.”

“Your best friend?” She asks, crinkling her nose at the fact that your best friend was a guy. “And why have you never spoken of him before?”

“I don’t know,” you replied with a shrug. “I guess it just never came up.”

“And I presume there’s no swaying you into not inviting this man-thing?”

“No! Alcina he has to be there, he’s my best friend!” She grumbles something about how many men will be in attendance, clearly unhappy with it given her usual “no men in the castle” rule that was lifted for the party.

“So how long have you been friends with this man-thing for, then?”

“Since we were little kids, I met him before my parents died. We basically grew up together. We even made a pact that if we were both single by the time we were 30 we would just marry each other.” You say with a laugh.

Alcina however, did not find your pact with Alexi nearly as amusing as you did if the clenching of her jaw was any indication. You immediately picked up on her reaction and raised your eyebrows at her.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” She says with a tight smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I just find it quite interesting you bargained to marry a man.”

Her suddenly cold attitude caught you off guard and was confusing until a thought dawned on you.

“Oh my god, Alcina, are you jealous?” You say with a smile growing on your face.

Her eyes flash with something akin to anger and they narrow at you as she scoffs. “Hah! Jealous? Of a stupid man-thing? Please, don’t offend me.”

Alcina turns her attention back towards the list. You can see how tight her jaw still is and the vein in her neck pulse like it does when she gets worked up.

“You’re so jealous!”

“I am not. I just don’t enjoy the thought of you marrying a man.” The tension in her body was palpable. Alcina would never admit that she was jealous. Possessive? Sure. But jealousy? That was a hideous trait, but Alcina couldn’t help but feel horribly jealous deep down.

Sensing her change in demeanor, you stood up and walked around her desk and crawled into her lap. Alcina sat back in her chair and looked down at you, a slight furrow in her brows still visible.

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, or be jealous of. I promise. Alexi is just a friend, never anything more.” Alcina’s hands slide to your hips with a firm grip. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours.”

A low purr erupts from deep in her chest as you play to her possessiveness. Her pupils dilate and she leans down into your space, just barely brushing her lips against yours.

“Mine.” She growls.

“Yours. Forever.”

Alcina’s grip on you tightens as she surges forward, crashing her lips into yours with a growl. Her tongue pries your lips open and she claims your mouth, making you whimper in response. One of her hands leaves your hips and tightly grips the hair on the back of your head and her other hand digs into your hip, no doubt leaving bruises behind. As you pull back to take a breath, Alcina nips at your bottom lip, sucking on it before letting it snap back into place.

Your half-lidded eyes meet hers, a smoldering gold, and she guides your lips back to hers. Just as your lips touch once more, the shrill ring of the telephone snaps you out of the lust-filled moment. Alcina growls against your lips, clearly unhappy with the sudden interruption, and releases the grip in your hair to pick up the receiver.

“Yes?” She all but growls. Her eyes roll as she lets out a huff through her nose. You can tell that this is probably an important business call she’s going to have to take, instead of telling them to call back later so the two of you can continue what you’ve started - which is likely what she would prefer to do right now. “Ah, Mr. Botezatu, I’ve been expecting your call. No, this isn’t a bad time at all.” She says practically through her teeth.

Alcina looks down at you and pulls away the hand she’s been mindlessly caressing your hip with to cover the end of the receiver.

“I’m sorry.” She mouths before leaning into your ear. “I must take this, draga mea. But we shall continue this later. Understood?” She nips at your neck, catching you by surprise as you try to silence the small squeal you let out. Alcina’s chest rumbles with a deep chuckle as she pulls away and turns her attention back to the phone call.

Giving her a nod, you climb off of her lap and just before you’re out of reach, Alcina lands a firm smack to your behind. You turn to give her a playful glare and all you receive back is a wink and a smirk before you turn and leave her office.

The rest of the day was spent with the girls going over more plans for the party. They did their best to keep as much of it a secret as they could, but they caved and let you in on some of the ideas they had. There was also plenty of complaining about how Alcina ended up taking over the majority of the planning. They batted their eyelashes at you, hoping to sway you in convincing Alcina to let them back in on the bigger plans; but even you knew that once Alcina had a vision, nothing you could do would get her to relent.

Dinner came and went and Alcina was still cooped up in her office. You decided to bring her a bottle of wine and her favorite glass so she would at least have something to eat.

“Enter.” She said after you knocked on the door.

When you walked into the room, Alcina looked up and her demeanor brightened significantly.

“One moment.” She mouthed, holding up a finger, turning her attention back to the phone. “Yes, thank you. Yes, the next batch is set to ship next week and the following will ship early spring. Excellent. Have a wonderful evening.”

She returns the phone to its cradle and lets out a sigh before shifting her gaze back to you.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, draga?” She says, resting her chin in her hand.

“You missed dinner, so I figured I’d bring you something to drink while you were working.”

Alcina looks over at the clock and exhales as she reads the time. Her eyes flick back to you, with an apologetic look.

“I am sorry, draga. I’ve been so wrapped up with work I didn’t even realize the time.”

“It’s alright. The girls and I understand.” You say as you place the wine and glass on her desk.

“Thank you, my sweet.” She says as she leans down and pecks your lips. The phone rings and Alcina rolls her eyes. “One moment, draga.” She says before picking up the phone. “House Dimi- Ugh. Karl. Yes?” She says with an even more exaggerated eye roll. “Well, it’s about time you gave me your RSVP. They were due over a week ago! Although I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s not like a mutt like you can read.”

You hear Karl yell something over the phone and Alcina pinches the bridge of her nose and exhales.

“Of course you were the last one to respond!” She says. “Yes, even Moreau responded, on time.” Alcina looks at you and shakes her head at whatever Karl says. “Yes, Mother Miranda was the very first person to respond - of course she is attending!” She yells.

Your eyes widen and you freeze in place. Why it had never occurred to you that Mother Miranda would also be invited and possibly attend was beyond you, but the thought of being in the same room again as her scares you and your fingers absent-mindedly trace the light scar on your chest from her claws.

Alcina notices your thousand yard stare and rushes Karl off of the phone.

“Draga?” She says, cupping your cheek. “Are you alright?”

Snapping out of your daze, you meet her eyes. “Yeah, I just didn’t think about the fact that Mother Miranda will be there.”

Alcina takes the hand you’re tracing the scar with and places a kiss across your knuckles.

“Fret not, draga mea. She won’t harm you again. I promise.”

“Are you sure?” You ask.

“Yes, draga, I’m sure.”

Alcina cups your cheek and pulls you in for a soft yet passionate kiss. You feel the tension melt away at the touch of her lips and your shoulders relax.

“Are you almost finished?”

“Nearly. I just have one more call I have to make.”

Alcina glares at the phone, ready to be done for the day and you bite back a giggle.

“Is it an important call?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s important but it does have to be done today. Although I am anticipating it to be boring, it will likely be a short call, thank the Black God.”

“Well, I can keep you company if you’d like.”

“I’d always like your company, draga.” She says with a smile as she goes to pour herself a glass of wine.

Alcina drinks half the glass before refilling it and picking up the phone once more to dial the number. She motions for you to come closer and scoops you up into one of her arms and you settle onto her lap. Curling into her, you rest your head on her chest and she keeps a protective arm around you as the person on the other end of the line answers.

Her fingers dance mindlessly across the tops of your thighs while she speaks to whoever it is on the other end of the line. She only removes her hand once in a while to write in her ledger laid out on the desk in front of her or to take a sip of her wine.

The conversation only lasts about half an hour before Alcina finally hangs up. As soon as she returns the phone to its cradle, Alcina stands with you in her arms and whisks you out of the office, towards her chambers. After ducking through the door to her chambers, she kicks it closed behind her and lays you down on her bed. Without saying a word she captures your lips in a passionate kiss and strips you bare.

“Now,” she says as she looks up and down your naked form. “Where were we earlier?”

A faint blush covers your chest, neck, and face and Alcina picks up right where the two of you left off earlier in the day, making sure there are no interruptions this time as she takes you over and over again.

The party grows closer and closer, with deliveries arriving nearly every day, even Donna stops by and takes your measurements for a custom dress. The two of you talk about what you want the dress to look like and settle on a design and what fabric to use. You also got to finally meet The Duke when he visited the castle and Donna placed an order with him for the fabric. Whatever you expected the Duke to look like, you were not expecting him to look like that. The aura he gave off was mildly unsettling, but he also seemed incredibly cheerful. Truthfully, you weren’t sure what you thought of the large man, but you decided not to think too much into it for your sanity. He seemed like he was the kind of person that was nearly impossible to figure out.

Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra grow more and more excited each day, especially since it’s starting to grow colder at night and their time outside is limited to the afternoons. They continue to pester you about what you want for your birthday, even though you insist that they don’t have to get you any presents. They, like their mother, are as stubborn as they come.

As much stress this party is causing the staff, you notice that as the party gets closer, they also grow more excited. Aside from the dedicated servers, most of the staff will be allowed to enjoy the party at their leisure, something you insisted Alcina allowed, and you can feel the anticipation in the air. Zina seems eager for the event as well, even though she will be manning the serving team. You can almost hear the excitement in her voice when she talks about it.

Finally, the morning of the party arrives and the castle is buzzing with excitement. Maids are scurrying around with last minute preparations and the girls can hardly contain themselves. So much so that the three of them are actually ready early - hours early at that. Alcina’s already building anxiety nearly skyrockets when they show up to her study nearly three hours before the start time dressed and ready. The girls have never been able to keep themselves presentable for more than an hour at most, but they promise up and down that they won’t ruin their dresses or hair and makeup before the party.

She sends them out with a wave of her hand as she goes back to finish the little bit of paperwork she has left for the day.

Meanwhile, you try to help with final preparations but every time you try, Zina or one of the maids shoo you away. Apparently it’s frowned upon to help to set up for your own party so you decide to distract yourself with a new book in the library.

Luckily, the new book sucks you in and before you know it, Daniela flies into the library.

“Dani, you look so pretty!” You say after you look up from your book and take in the girl before you.

“Thank you! Aunt Donna made my dress and Cass and Bela helped me with my hair and makeup!”

Daniela is in a form fitting floor length emerald green dress with long sleeves and a plunging neckline. Her red hair, as usual, is shaved on one side but the other side has near-perfect beachy waves. Her makeup isn’t subtle, but not heavy either and her eyeshadow beautifully accents her golden eyes.

“Come on!” She says as she grabs your hand. “We have to get you ready!”

“I thought Zina was gonna help me get ready?” You assumed since she helped you get ready for your date with Alcina a few weeks ago that she would also be the one helping you get ready tonight.

“Nope! She’s super busy making sure everything is perfect, so mother asked us to help you.”

“Oh,” it’s not that you don’t trust the girls to help you, but you know how chaotic they can get, especially if they start fighting and you don’t want to end up looking insane because all three of them wanted to do something different. “Alright.”

“Don’t worry, we already promised mother we wouldn’t fight and you get the final say on everything!” She says, as if she read your mind.

“If you say so.” You say with a playful chuckle.

Daniela takes you to Bela’s room where Bela and Cassandra are already waiting to help you get ready. Both girls look absolutely stunning. Bela is in a strapless a-line burgundy dress with her hair half up-half down. The parts of her hair that are half up are braided beautifully across the back of her head and the rest hangs down in pretty waves. Her makeup is minimal and she looks like a natural beauty. Cassandra is in a floor length metallic gold dress with a slit up the side, a straight neckline and thin straps. Unlike Bela, her makeup is heavier with dark eyes, winged eyeliner, and a bold lip. But she still looks just as gorgeous as her sisters. Her thick black hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

You take a moment to engrain the way all three girls look into your memory. Not only is it so special to you that they would get all dressed up for your party, but this is the first and probably last time that you’ll see all three of them dressed so nicely without a hair out of place or blood splatter anywhere. They all look truly gorgeous and it warms your heart to see them like this.

“Ready?” Daniela asks, practically vibrating with excitement.

Sensing the excitement in the girls brings a smile to your face, you’re really looking forward to spending this time with them.

“You bet! Let’s do this!”

The three of you discuss what you want to do with your hair and makeup and once a plan is set in place, the girls get to work.

Cassandra paints your nails as Daniela does your makeup and Bela does your hair. You’ve never been pampered like this before and as unusual as the feeling is, you’re truly enjoying yourself. As you look at the mirror while the girls work on you, your eyes travel down to the light scar on your chest and the much more noticeable one on your neck.

“Hey Dani, are you able to cover these up at all?” You ask quietly as your free hand runs over the scars.

The chatter amongst the girls stops and they try not to look at you with pity in their eyes. Daniela takes a look at them with sad eyes and meets your gaze.

“I can definitely cover the ones on your chest.” She says, dabbing concealer onto your skin. “But this one,” she says, gesturing to your neck scar. “I can put some makeup on it to make it less noticeable but I don’t think I’ll be able to completely cover it.”

Meeting her gaze, you see the sadness in her eyes. Looking back into the mirror, you see Bela focusing herself on your hair and Cassandra is staring at your nails as if they personally offended her. It’s always so interesting to see how differently the girls react to that day. Daniela wears her heart on her sleeve, Bela will almost always focus on something else so she doesn’t have to think about it, and Cassandra is still angry about what happened. Even though she’s forgiven Alcina, she still harbors some resentment about the whole thing.

“That’s fine, whatever you can do. Thanks Dani.” You say with a smile.

Daniela smiles and continues working on your makeup. After a few minutes, the chatter picks back up and the four of you go back to laughing and poking fun at each other.

Finally, your hair, makeup, and nails are done. The four of you decided on leaving your hair down in curls, pinning one side back and allowing the rest to fall down your back and a little over your other shoulder. It also helps to hide what the makeup couldn’t of the scar on your neck. For makeup, you settled on a natural, but not minimal, look with a red lip to match the red Cassandra painted your nails with.

“Now for the dress!” Daniela says as she flies to Bela’s wardrobe and pulls out the garment bag.

Daniela unzips it and reveals the dress you and Donna spent hours discussing. It’s the first time any of you have seen it and you are stunned at her work. The black sequins sparkle beautifully in the light and you can’t wait to try it on.

You can hear the girls flies buzzing in excitement as you change into the dress and when you step out from behind the dressing screen, the three of them let out an audible gasp. Turning to look in the mirror, the biggest smile pulls across your face.

“You look beautiful.” Bela says as she stands next to you and fixes a stray hair.

Looking over, you can see Daniela covering her mouth with tears in her eyes and you pull her in for a hug.

“Oh, bug! Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your makeup.” You say with a laugh.

Daniela pulls herself together and wraps her arms around you, giving you too tight of a squeeze before letting go.

“It’s a shame really,” Cassandra begins to say and Bela immediately stares daggers at her. “It’s such a pretty dress and there’s no way mom isn’t literally tearing it off of you later tonight.” She says almost too casually.

“Cassandra!” You say as your face turns bright red.

“Tell me I’m wrong?” She deadpans.

“Cass! Gross!” Daniela whines.

“Alright, enough!” Bela says. “You look absolutely stunning and mother is going to be beside herself when she sees you.”

“Thank you so much, girls. I really, really appreciate you guys helping me get ready tonight.”

“Of course!” Bela says.

“I can’t wait for your entrance! You’re gonna knock everyone dead!” Daniela exclaims and you feel your face drop.

“My… entrance? What do you mean?”

“Your entrance! You know, when you enter the party in front of everyone?” Daniela says.

“I - I don’t get it. Are we not just greeting people as they come in?” You ask nervously.

“What?! No!” Daniela says.

“All of the guests are currently arriving. We’re supposed to let Zina know when you’re ready so they can prepare for your entrance.” Bela explains.

“So everyone is going to be looking at me?”

“Duh, it's your party.” Cassandra says.

“Oh god, I don’t want to do that! Why didn’t Alcina tell me about this?”

“Probably because she didn’t want you to freak yourself out too much beforehand.” Daniela says with a shrug.

You start pacing as your nerves skyrocket.

“Oh god, I - I can’t do that! I’m gonna fall down the stairs or something and completely embarrass myself! I don’t want to be the center of attention like that in front of the entire village!”

“You’ll be fine! Just breathe.” Bela says as she tries, and fails, to comfort you.

“Hey!” Cassandra yells, snapping you out of your near meltdown and grabs your shoulders. “You’re going to go out there and woo the shit out of everyone, our mother included. You look hot as shit and you won’t make an ass of yourself. Don’t worry, you got this.”

“Do I?”

“You do.”

Taking a deep breath, just barely settling your nerves, you give Cassandra a nod and Daniela flies out of the room to tell Zina you’re ready.

A few moments later, Zina knocks on the door and walks in. Your jaw drops when you first see her. You’ve never seen her in anything other than her uniform before, no less all dressed up. She’s wearing a long sleeve black dress with her salt and pepper hair tied up into a perfect bun at the back of her neck. She’s wearing minimal makeup, but more than she wears on an average day. She looks so pretty and you can’t help but smile.

“Zina, you look beautiful!” You say.

“Oh, this old thing? Thank you. You look absolutely beautiful yourself, dear.” She says with a warm smile.

“Thank you.”

“Alright girls, your mother is waiting for you. Off you go!” She says as she waves the girls away. They give you each one last “you got this” before flying out of the room.

“Ready?” Zina asks.

“I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting to have to do a whole entrance.” You say nervously.

“Don’t worry, the Countess will be right there. Just focus on her and all will be fine.” She says.

“Alright, if you say so.”

“Let's get going, we don’t want to miss your cue.”

In the main hall most of the guests are gathered and the last of them make their way in. Some have already gone into the ballroom where the party will be hosted, the rest wait in the hall to watch your entrance. Zina stops you before you turn the corner and has you wait as she goes to tell Alcina you’re ready to go.

Alcina nods and bends through the doorway and heads to the stairs. The guests all applaud as she makes her way down, stopping at the landing to address the crowd.

“Thank you all so very much for accepting the invitation to Castle Dimitrescu for this wonderful event.” She says and the audience applauds. “This is the first time in decades that House Dimitrescu has opened its doors for such an event, and I am proud and honored to be your host this evening.” As she begins to descend down the stairs, Bela, Cassandra and Daniela appear at the top and make their way down, meeting their mother at the foot of the stairs.

She cups each of their faces as they pass her and tells them how absolutely beautiful they all are.

Zina leads you around the corner to the door Alcina stepped through and makes you wait before sending you through.

“And now, our guest of honor, Y/N.” Alcina says.

Zina gives you a little nudge and you freeze in place. Nearly the entire village is waiting at the bottom of those stairs to see you. Mother Miranda will be in that crowd and that thought alone is nearly enough to have you turn and run away.

Noticing the panic surging in your eyes, Zina takes hold of your hand and you snap out of your spiral. Your eyes meet her kind, blue eyes and she smiles at you.

“Go on, dear. You will be fine. Just look at the Lady, you’ll be great.”

With the ounce of confidence she gave you, you take a step through the door before it vanishes. As you step towards the stairs, gasps fill the room as the crowd sees you for the first time and applause fills the air. Your eyes nervously scan the faces, desperately looking for a familiar one. Unfortunately, the first person you see is Mother Miranda and her eyes are locked onto you with a cold gaze. Your heartbeat begins to pick up and you grip the bannister harder trying to steady yourself at the top of the stairs. It seems almost impossible to take your eyes off of hers until you feel another set on you. Looking down, you see Alcina at the bottom of the stairs and you immediately relax.

The look of shock on her face melts into pure happiness as her smile grows wide and you start making your way down the stairs towards her. Even if you tried, even if you wanted to, there was no way you would ever be able to take your eyes off of her. The eggplant gown she’s wearing compliments her complexion beautifully. It’s almost impossible to pull your eyes away from the deep v cut of her dress but your eyes travel down lower and you’re enamored by how perfectly the fabric clings to every one of her curves.

By some miracle, you make it to the landing without tripping or making a fool of yourself and Alcina reaches her hand out for you to take hold of. It takes all of your self control to not throw yourself into her arms and kiss her in front of everyone, but you find the strength to keep your composure. After walking down a few more steps, you take her hand in yours and once you're close enough she leans in.

“You look absolutely stunning, draga mea.” Alcina whispers to you.

“So do you, Alci.” You whisper back.

The applause fades and Alcina turns her attention back to the crowd, your hand still in hers.

“It is truly an honor to reopen my home to celebrate one of the very finest women this village has to offer. Ever since Y/N walked through these castle doors she has brought nothing but light to our once dark home. To show my appreciation for her, I have a gift that very few have had the honor of receiving in House Dimitrescu.” On command, a maid steps forward with a black box in her hand and gives it to Alcina. Alcina lets go of your hand to take the box and faces you once more. “My gift to you, draga mea, will not only offer you protection everywhere you go, but it is also a token of my love and my appreciation for you and I truly hope you will love it.”

Looking into Alcina’s eyes, you see a hint of nervousness and your stomach churns, unsure of why she’s nervous. Alcina opens the box and a sparkle immediately catches your eye. Sitting on pristine black velvet is an absolutely stunning silver and diamond choker necklace. In the center sits the Dimitrescu crest, a beautiful rose with two swords crossed through it. Your jaw drops at the sight of it and you can’t help but cover your mouth with your hands.

“Alcina,” you say. “This is absolutely beautiful.”

Your eyes begin to mist and you look up to meet hers, only to notice hers have begun to water as well.

“Do you really like it?” She whispers.

“I love it. I love it so much. Thank you.” You say.

Without even thinking the both of you lean in and your lips meet in a loving kiss. You can hear a few gasps from the crowd but the both of you ignore it as you pull apart.

“May I?” She asks, gesturing to the necklace.

“Of course.”

Alcina removes the necklace from the box and you turn around and move your hair to allow her to put the necklace on you. The jewelry is ice cold against your skin but quickly warms as she fastens it effortlessly despite the size of her fingers. You trace the crest with your fingers as you turn back around and Alcina looks at you with so much love it takes everything in you not to grab her face and kiss her again.

“Perfect. Absolutely beautiful.” She says.

The two of you stare into each other's eyes for another moment before she addresses the crowd once more.

“Let the celebration commence!”

Right on cue, the music starts up and the serving staff begins to weave in and out of the crowd with trays full of champagne. Alcina guides you down the rest of the stairs and the girls gush over the necklace. The sound of tiny footsteps takes your attention away and you turn around just in time for Elena to jump into your arms, squealing your name.

“Hi my sweet girl!” You say with excitement. “Look at you!” You say as you pull back to look at her. “You look so beautiful!”

“Mommy picked out my dress!” She says as she kicks her feet.

“She picked out such a beautiful one! You must be one of the prettiest girls at the party.”

“Not prettier than you!”

“Somehow I doubt that.” You say as you nuzzle your nose against hers.

Anna and Crina walk up to you, each of them holding onto one of the boys hands, with huge smiles on their faces. You hug and kiss each of them with one arm as Elena continues to cling to you before you greet your aunt and uncle.

Both of them seem wildly uncomfortable and your aunt tries and fails to hide the look of displeasure on her face when she looks at you and Alcina. Your uncle doesn’t even try to hide his scowl.

“Elena, come here please.” Your aunt says, taking the girl from your arms. She stares at the choker necklace Alcina gifted you and glares at you.

The look she gives you takes you aback and you unconsciously step backwards into Alcina. Alcina’s large hand settles on your shoulder and grounds you.

“I do hope the trip from the village this evening was pleasant.” Alcina says, feigning politeness.

“It was.” Your aunt says.

Your uncle steps up to you and leans in to get a better look at your necklace. He lets out a scoff and looks you in the eyes.

“I never thought you would be one to whore yourself out.” He says quietly enough so the kids can’t hear him. “And to this monster? You are a disgrace. It’s a good thing your parents are dead. Because this would surely kill them.”

Your heart sinks into your chest and the grip Alcina has on your shoulder tightens. A low growl erupts from deep in her chest and your uncle looks up to glare at her. He’s only able to hold her stare for a couple of seconds before the death glare she’s sending his way is too much for him to bear and he walks away. The girls’ flies buzz angrily as they seethe, all three of them staring up at their mother waiting for her to give them permission to tear him limb from limb. Alcina raises her hand to silence them. They open their mouths to protest but one look from Alcina stops them.

The sound of someone clearing their throats takes your attention away and you look over to see Mother Miranda standing next to the group. She’s sporting a smile yet the icy blue of her eyes is as frightening as ever. Her eyes drift over towards your aunt and Elena and your aunt bows your head.

“Mother Miranda. It is an honor.” She says as her voice shakes.

Mother Miranda nods at your aunt and doesn’t take her eyes away from her or Elena. The look she gives them makes your stomach twist and Alcina can feel the nerves rippling off of you.

“I hope you enjoy the party.” She says to your aunt with a smile that doesn’t even begin to reach her eyes.

Your aunt nods, taking that as her exit and quickly gathers the kids, beelining it out of the main hall after your uncle.

Mother Miranda’s cold eyes meet yours and she gives you a sickly sweet smile.

“Happy birthday, my child.”

“Thank you, Mother Miranda.” You say as you bow your head.

“Mother Miranda, thank you for gracing us with your presence this evening.” Alcina says, mustering up as much sincerity as possible.

“And miss such a noteworthy event?” Miranda responds. “I see you were gifted the Dimitrescu crest.” She says as she looks at your necklace. “Very rarely is something so valuable gifted to others. You indeed must be quite special to my daughter.”

You swallow and take in a shaky breath.

“I am honored to have been gifted something so meaningful. It is something I will cherish for the rest of my life.” You say as you try to keep your voice steady.

“As you should.” Miranda says. “Enjoy your party. Alcina.” She says, nodding at Alcina who returns the gesture before disappearing into the crowd.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and Alcina turns you around to face her.

“Are you alright?” She asks as she cups your face.

“Yeah. It’s just - that was a lot.”

“I know. I’m so sorry that this is how your night started, draga mea. Is there anything I can do?”

“No, I don’t think so. I just need a moment.”

“Take all the time you need, iubirea mea.”

Alcina caresses your cheek before pulling her hand away. Zina walks up to Alcina and whispers something and Alcina nods at her.

“There’s something that needs my attention, will you be alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I promise.”

“Don’t let them spoil your evening my love. You deserve the world, go have fun.”

Alcina and Zina walk away and you take a minute to calm your nerves before weaving through the crowd of people. A few villagers nod at you, some wish you a happy birthday, others try to hide the look of disgust on their faces. It’s truly a mixed bag of faces and reactions.

After a few minutes of wandering around you hear a voice behind you.

“Oh my God! Who’s that hot piece of ass in the black dress?!”

Quickly turning around, you see Alexi with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.

“Alexi!” You squeal as you run towards him and jump into his arms.

He hugs you tight and spins you around before setting you back down on the ground.

“Holy shit look at you!” He says as he eyes you up and down. “You look amazing!” His eyes move back to your face and they soften. “I can’t believe you’re real, that you’re here! Alive!”

Tears prick at his eyes as he pulls you in for another bone-crushing hug. You hug him back just as tightly.

“When I heard what happened I thought the worst was gonna happen. I thought you were - I never thought I’d see you again.” He says into your shoulder. Tears start to well in your eyes, just before they fall he says “Fuck! You even smell good!” and you begin to laugh.

“I missed you so much.” You say as you part.

“Why didn’t you write?! I saw Anna and she told me she saw you a few months ago and said that you were happy and safe but I didn’t believe it!”

“I know, I’m so sorry. Things have been so crazy here. I should have let you know I was okay. I’m so sorry, Alexi.”

“Well, you’re a bitch for not writing, but I’m so relieved that you’re okay so I guess you’re forgiven.”

The two of you laugh and hug once more. A server comes by and offers you champagne and you each take a glass.

“Oh my god!” Alexi says as he goes to take a sip, pulling the glass away from his lips. “Okay was I hallucinating or did you and Lady D actually kiss?” You nearly spit out your drink as he continues. “I was so far back but I saw you lean in and then heard a gasp and unless you happened to fall and eat shit, you definitely kissed that giant.” Your cheeks turn bright red and Alexi’s jaw drops. “Oh my god you did! Was that the first time you’ve kissed her?! Shit, I knew you liked older women but damn.”

“I - we -”

“Oh my god that wasn’t the first time you kissed her was it?!” You continue to flounder and Alexi gets louder and more excited. “Bitch I can’t believe you didn’t write to me and tell me you kissed her! You’re unforgiven.” He says as he takes a sip of his champagne. “Fuck, this is delicious. Okay, so how many times have you kissed her? Have you done more than just kiss? Did you two hook up?”

You get more flustered and cover your burning face with your hands and Alexi’s jaw hits the floor.

“Oh my god.” He says more quietly. “Have you two like,” he makes a scissoring motion with his fingers.

“Alexi!” You yell and smack his arm. Mortified, you look around to see if anyone else has their eyes on the two of you.

“OH MY GOD!” Alexi yells, gaining the attention of guests in your immediate vicinity and you slap your hand over his mouth and shush him.

“Shut up!” You say as you pull him to a secluded corner of the main hall. “Come here.”

When you finally get away from most of the crowd you pull your hand away from his mouth and it hangs open.

“Oh my god you two totally fucked!” The gears in his brain turn and you see a lightbulb go off. “She took your virginity?!” He says a little too loudly and your skin burns with embarrassment as a couple villagers walking by look over at the two of you. You flash them a polite smile before you glare at your best friend.

“Will you be quiet?!”

“Sorry! Sorry. But holy shit, girl, that gigantic woman took your v-card?!” Unable to verbally answer, you cover your face with your hands and shake your head. “Oh my god, how did she not split you in half?!”

“Alexi! She’s doesn’t have a -”

“She doesn’t need to with fingers that big! God, her strap must be huge. You poor, poor girl.”

“Oh my god. We haven’t - I don’t know if she even - we haven’t gotten that far, yet.”

“What the hell have you been waiting for?!”

“Things got complicated! I’m fine, but it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows since I got here, okay?”

“And you’re gonna sit here and act like I’m not going to have you explain that further?” He says as he finishes his champagne with an eyebrow raised at you.

“I can’t get into all of that right now, okay? But I promise I will later.”

“Bitch, you better.”

“I will, I promise.” You say as you grab his hands and give them a squeeze.

“Ahem.”

You hear someone clear their throat behind you and jump, releasing Alexi’s hand and turning around. Behind you, Alcina is standing there with a hand on her hip and her eyes narrowed at Alexi.

“Alcina! You scared me.”

“Are you enjoying your party, draga?” She asks you, yet her eyes continue to glare at Alexi.

“Yes! It’s so beautiful. Alexi and I were just catching up. Alcina, this is my best friend, Alexi. Alexi, this is Alcina.” You say, trying to diffuse the tension.

Alexi stands there, pinned by her glare and you nudge him to break him out of the spell.

“Oh, uh, it’s an honor to meet you, my Lady.” He says with a shaky voice as he gives a small bow.

Alcina purses her lips and looks down at you. Before she goes to speak, one of the stablehands steps in and addresses Alcina. He’s a bit taller than you, about the same height as Alexi with ash blonde hair and broad shoulders. You can tell by the way Alexi is looking at him that he completely forgot about you and Alcina.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt my Lady.” He says with a bow. “But may I borrow a servant or two? One of the horses stepped on one of the vineyard workers' feet and potentially broke his foot. We are having a difficult time dealing with all the horses with one less worker.”

Alcina sighs and you look over at Alexi and nudge him, nodding your head towards the stablehand.

“Oh! Uh, I - I can help!” He says almost too eagerly. Alcina looks at him and he clears his throat and gathers himself. “I mean, I tend to my fathers horses all the time. I can lend a hand, if you need.” You nudge him again. “My Lady.”

Alcina looks at you and you give her a nod and smile at Alexi.

“Well, if you have experience with horses, I don’t see why not.”

“Oh shit, really?” Alexi says and Alcina glares at him. “I - I mean, thank you my Lady.”

You smile at Alexi who introduces himself to the stablehand and they walk towards the doors together. With a laugh, you shake your head at your friend.

“That is your best friend?”

“Alcina!” You say with a laugh. “Be nice, he was nervous.”

“Mhm. Yet he still seemed quite friendly with you.” She says as her eyes stay on the two men as they exit the main hall.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You two seemed awfully touchy, when I approached.” Alcina crosses her arms across her chest and purses her lips.

“What are you - I was just holding his hands?”

“He knows you are mine. Yet he put his hands on you anyway.”

“Alcina, what’s going on?”

“I understand he is your best friend, but I do not trust those man-things. Especially around you. There is only one thing they want and they will do anything to get it.”

You stand there with your eyebrows furrowed. On one hand, you know what she means, but on the other - you realize she’s missing a key piece to the puzzle and you bark out a laugh and cover your mouth.

“Draga, this is no laughing matter.”

“Oh my god, Alcina, do you think he was hitting on me?”

“In all my years of life, men have only ever wanted one thing -”

“Alcina!” You say, abruptly ending her rant. Her eyes narrow at you as you continue to laugh. “He wasn’t hitting on me! Alcina, Alexi is gay. He’s not into women!”

Alcina opens her mouth to speak and closes it. She does this a few more times as a light blush dusts across her cheeks and you continue to laugh.

“I - I was not made aware of his preferences.”

As hard as you try to stifle your laughter, it still comes out from between your fingers as your hand is clasped over your mouth. Alcina is embarrassed as it is, you don’t want to make it any worse, but you can’t help but find this situation hysterical.

“It is not funny, draga.” Alcina says as she tries to hold back her smile. Despite her embarrassment, she too finds the situation amusing.

“Oh come on, it’s a little funny.” You say as you start to gather yourself.

Alcina shakes her head at you.

“Come, you haven’t even made it into the main event yet, draga.”

#willalove75 #lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu #re8 alcina #re8 lady dimitrescu #re8 fanfiction #re8 village #re8 #resident evil #wlw #wlw fanfic

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runningfrom2am · 3 months ago

Text

moon river // part one

summary: people in lincoln county are dropping dead alongside their livestock, the wells are running dry and children are prompted from their beds to wander unconsciously in the night. billy has been hired as a last resort by the lawmen as a bounty hunter, charged with the task of hunting and killing the witch responsible in exchange for a reward and the clearing of his name. how could he turn that down?

pairing: william h. bonney x fem!reader

wc: 7.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: witch!reader x bounty hunter!billy, warning for like,,, witchcraft and stuff i suppose?? mentions of death, minor amounts of gore and animal mutilation. devil worship and other supernatural/biblical tea. also angst. probably.

a/n: impulsive new series dw ab it. i'm thinking this'll be only a few parts but based on how long part one is, i don't think that means much lol. buckle in.

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // pinterest board // playlist

The reward had been posted for weeks, and any man who dared to set foot in the woods on the hunt for the witch who had been cursing local crops and killing livestock didn't return at all. Billy was confident, though. He could draw and shoot quicker than anyone, and he had not only been offered the reward, but also the clearing of his name and a clean slate- and damn if that wasn't an impossible offer to turn down. Even if the sheriff was pretty damn desperate in order to seek Billy out unarmed to beg him to go after this witch.

Rifle in hand, he walked for hours hunting for a girl he'd only heard rumours of. Of her pretty hair that fell in enchanting waves and her bright, sparkling eyes that were deceptive in a way that could suck a man in and kill him with nothing more than a quick flick of her wrist. But he'd met plenty of girls like that before. He also heard she was horrid, scary and old and plucked straight from everyone's mother's horror stories passed onto them as children to keep them in their beds at night. In truth, he had no clue what he was walking into.

The forest was quiet today, eerily so, without even the chirping of birds or the wind in the trees to keep him company on the foot journey. Nothing. He wasn't welcome here and something deep inside of him knew it. Walking into a clearing, he gets only the mildest relief as the wind brushes the long grass against his boots and the woods isn't suffocating him any longer. Until the breath is vacuumed straight out of his lungs when he sees the first sign of life in miles.

This girl must be his age, of all the things he heard he didn't truly expect that. It was hard to tell as she was crouched over one of many graves in the open clearing, the sun making her hair glow like it had hand picked that surface to reflect off of. She can't be the witch everyones afraid of. He can even hear her now, the subtle humming of a tune coming from her lips as she laid out flowers from a basket below the shoddy cross. This was just a girl taking care of a forgotten grave, that was all. Despite his better judgement, he wants to believe that.

"Hello?" He calls, tilting his head slightly as he takes a hesitant step closer across the clearing.

You already knew he was there, of course. You could feel the shift in the air when he entered the space a minute or so prior. You turn your head, standing up straight again and brushing off the front of your dress.

"Hello, there." You reply, offering him a small smile as you pick up the basket from your feet. Admittedly, he was the youngest (and handsomest) of the men you assume had come to kill you, but you're surprised the woods had even let him get this close. The forest can see something in him you could not, clearly. Who are you to deny its very will?

The power in your skin thrums like a second heartbeat in your fingertips and against your ribcage, and you bring a hand up to grasp at the crystal hanging around your neck.

He notices the way your hand tightens around the necklace in your fingers almost anxiously, and it makes his own hand subconsciously itch to raise his rifle as he takes another step closer towards you. He swallows, trying his damndest to not show even a flicker of fear behind his eyes. There is none. She's just a girl, he has to convince himself, but you can see it. Feel it in the air around him even as he stands perfectly steady and strong in front of you.

"Who are you?"

A pretty girl, alone in a forest that no-one else dares tread into. It's a curious sight, and it only serves to make him more on edge. No one in their right mind would be in this forest of their own will.

You tilt your head slightly, watching him as he steps closer but making no attempt to move away yourself.

You answer with your name, soft and sweet as honey as you twist the chain around your neck slightly, eyes locked now on the gun in his hands.

"You're..." You pause for a moment to think, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. "Billy. That's your name, right?"

His hand tightens on his rifle. The feeling of being somewhere he was never supposed to have entered made beads of sweat roll down the back of his neck as he felt the air thicken all around them. "How do you know that?"

You hesitate on how to answer. You can't very well tell him that you felt it, that you just knew. That you just knew he was here to kill you. You are far from the most social of girls, but you had to save face.

"You look like a Billy." You smile softly. "And it's a common enough name, is it not? A safe guess."

His eyes narrow slightly as his grip on the rifle relaxes. You were hiding something, that much was blatantly clear just from looking at your face, but still, he couldn't imagine someone like you to be the reason the townsfolk kept their doors locked and children well away come sundown.

"I suppose." He finally says, a hand coming up from his rifle to pull his low brimmed hat off his head- a small show of reluctant respect. Though, he still keeps his distance.

Your smile relaxes a little bit just as the subtle sounds of birds chirping and the wind through the leaves surrounds you again in background noise. "It suits you." You tell him, grabbing the basket handle with both hands now.

A hint of surprise flickers across his face at the odd compliment, but it fades just as quickly as it appeared. He lets out a hum of acknowledgement, watching you carefully. If he was being honest, he didn't want to believe that the woman in front of him was a witch. You are far more delicate than that.

"What are you doing out here anyway?"

"Oh, well, I was passing through and saw all these graves. I couldn't help but feel they were lacking some flowers." You explain, lying easily and glancing down at the ones you had already spent time laying lavenders over, five or six of them still looking fresh, without as much grass regrowing over the dirt just yet. "Lavender helps with sleep, you know. It ensures a peaceful rest."

He takes a moment to look at the surrounding graves, his stomach twisting at the sight of how many there were. Ten, at least. He'd seen graveyards before, many times, but something about the lack of proper head stones and the makeshift crosses that were just wooden sticks shoved in the dirt made this feel so much darker.

He frowns as he turns his eyes back to you. "Aren't you afraid of what people say about this place? That it's cursed or something."

"Cursed?" You ask, brow furrowing slightly as you look back at him with a slightly confused smile. "It isn't cursed. It's just a forest."

You knew as much as he seemed to that what you were saying wasn't true, but "cursed" was definitely not the right word to describe it. Though, if the townspeople were saying it was cursed, well, it made more sense as to why people came in here intent on killing you more and more recently.

He can't help but notice the way your smile tightens ever so slightly at the comment, like it was forced to remain on your lips in an attempt to keep up appearances when in reality you wanted to do anything but. You were nervous.

"It don't take a genius to figure out that no one goes in these woods alone for no good reason. A lot of people get lost in here. A lot of people don't come back." He can't help but look back at the headstones of people who most likely went missing, forever lost to the forest. To you. "And I ain't ever seen you in Lincoln."

The two of you stand in the clearing for another moment, neither of you speaking. Neither of you moving as the world around the two of you seems to hold its breath. He feels himself wanting to reach out and touch you, like he was in a trance of sorts. He wants to know what you're hiding, he wants to know who you are. A large part of him already knows, subconsciously wishing it wasn't true.

He tears his eyes away, shaking his head. He wasn't here to make friends, he was here for the reward- not to start sympathizing.

"Oh," You reply quietly, unsure what to say as you force yourself to keep your eyes on him instead of looking over at the fresh graves. "I... I am sorry to hear that."

He studies you for a moment, trying to decipher your carefully worded reply. He can't tell if you actually feel sorry for those who came here and never made it out alive, or if you're just trying to cover up the fact that you may be connected to it.

"It's a shame, really. A lot of good men have gone missing out here, never to be seen again."

He looks like he's about to ask another question before he notices the way your knuckles start to turn white from gripping the basket so hard.

"Your hands are shaking." The observation is formed more like a question, an accusing tone you pick up on easily.

You look down at your hands, eyes widening a bit before you tuck them behind your back with the basket. "Oh, uh... sorry. I can't control it sometimes." You admit sheepishly.

He watches the way you try and hide your hands out of view, and it only serves to make him more suspicious of you. Why would the thought of him seeing your hands shaking make you so anxious?

He doesn't call you out on it, though. "What do you mean can't control it sometimes? Are you nervous?"

"I-I just... I haven't eaten yet today. And it runs in my family, you know. Shaky hands." You explain, trying not to sound as nervous as you are.

"You're lying." He accuses, watching your reaction carefully.

As he speaks the previous chirping of the birds and the wind in the trees and in the grass halts in an instant, like the forest itself was tensing with you. You knew what that meant. Your gaze flickers from his face down to the gun in his hands and back quickly as you take a small step back. "I- I'm not, honestly." You reply with a slightly nervous laugh, trying to lighten the atmosphere again and delay the inevitable. Either he wasn't going to hurt you, or he was the one meant to hurt you. It was a mystery of the universe you were less than eager to discover the outcome of.

His eyes flick over to the surrounding trees as the forest goes quiet, as if it was listening- waiting. He grips the rifle a little tighter when you take a step back, his shoulders tensing slightly.

"You're a very bad liar." He responds, his eyes back on you again. The change in your behaviour doesn't go unnoticed by him, as he slowly starts to lift his rifle to an almost aiming position.

"Don't-" You urge him quickly, your eyes going wide again with more urgency as you hold a hand up to try and stop him. In the same moment he starts to lift his gun, the clouds seem to cover the sun and the beautiful beams of light entering the clearly through the trees is all but gone to gray.

His eyes flick up to the sky as the forest is cast into darkness. He isn't an idiot, he doesn't believe that clouds could move across the sky that quickly- only one other thing could make a place this dark this fast.

"...You did that." He points out with an accusatory tone, his eyes back on you as he adjusts the rifle, aiming the barrel straight at you.

You drop the basket, raising your hands as the still air picks up a somewhat electric buzz to it, the sky darkening further. You didn't know what the forest had done to the other men, but you suspected you were about to find out.

"I-I didn't, I haven't done anything. I swear." You promise him, voice shaking a bit.

He holds the gun steadily as he watches you closely, the way your eyes dart around the clearing as if searching for a way out, the way the air is now thick with something that he can't put his finger on. It's something that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up, it's something that feels dangerous. He's always been attuned to it.

"Don't bullshit me." He says, cocking the rifle with a click. His eyes watch you like a hawk, the barrel of the gun now pointed directly between your bright, enchanting irises.

"I know why you're here." You stammer out quickly, slowly moving your hands out to your sides toward the trees on either side of you as the leaves start to rustle more urgently in the wind. "I mean... I don't know why but I know you're here to kill me, right?"

He tenses slightly as you begin to move your hands toward the trees, his finger hovering dangerously close to the trigger of his rifle. "You have the townsfolk scared shitless. They put a damn price on your head, and word spreads fast." He tilts his head, continuing to watch you intently as the air becomes more and more electric.

"What?" You ask, to him looking genuinely confused as you watch his finger graze over the trigger. "I-I've never even been into town. I've never done anything to them."

The wind picks up then, blowing wickedly through your hair and ruffling the skirts of your dress.

His body tenses at the feeling of the wind blowing so fiercely, the trees beginning to sway with the force of it. The air is thick, almost electric in a way that can't possibly be natural, and he's beginning to realize just what he's gotten himself into.

"You expect me to believe you?" He responds, the barrel of the gun still aimed at your head. He doesn't know why he hasn't fired already, he knows he's staring down the sights of his hunting rifle directly at the witch he was meant to kill. Who has killed six of Lincoln's bravest men and is currently standing over their graves.

When he moves the gun you wince, and the sound of the trees shifting becomes almost more intentional now as you hold your hands up higher at either side of your body. "I-I'll explain... Just... just put down the gun. Please."

"Why should I do that?" He asks, keeping his aim on you despite the trees that now seem so alive all around you- like they were whispering.

"You just have to trust me!" You call out, now that the wind was getting louder and louder, the sky darker as the trees closed in on the two of you, more specifically, the branches reaching for him.

He clocks it quickly; the branches slowly creeping down, the leaves reaching out towards him. It was like they were going to reach out and grab him at any moment, and the idea is making the hair on his arms stand straight up. It wasn't real, he knew better than that.

"How... how are you doing this?" He asks, his eyes flicking back to you, his rifle still raised.

"I'm not!" You shout, hands pushed out on either side of you as you squint against the wind, expression tense as the air pushes in on you from every direction. "I'm trying to stop it, just drop the gun!"

His eyes dart between you and the trees, noticing the way the branches are slowly inching towards him, and how you seem to almost be trying to push them back, your entire body tensing with some unknown effort.

"And if I drop the gun and you try something, huh?" He yells back, his finger still resting against the cool metal of the lightened trigger.

"You'll end up dead either way!" You shout, squeezing your eyes shut now as a couple small roots start to slowly coil around his ankles. "I don't want to bury you! Just drop it!"

He glances down at the roots slowly making their way up his lower legs, and his eyebrows furrow as he tries to comprehend how in the hell something like this is even possible. Finally, he grunts, clicking the safety back on his rifle and dropping it to the dirt. As soon as the weapon is out of his hands, the atmosphere in the clearing changes.

Even with your eyes shut, you can feel the pressure get taken off of you as soon as he drops the gun.

You drop your hands back down to your sides, winded from the exertion of keeping him alive. It seemed to have moved quick, the forest in its efforts to eliminate the threat, but you have to imagine it was much slower than it was when it set its sights on the other men who set foot in here to kill you.

"Are you okay?" You ask, gasping to catch your breath as the roots remain wrapped loosely around his ankles, incase it needed to grab him again quickly. Though, the skies had mostly cleared and the wind had stopped now.

He stands frozen in place for a moment, his breath heavy in his lungs as adrenaline courses through his veins and his heart hammers violently in his chest. "I.... I'm fine I think..." He responds, looking down at the roots still clinging to his ankles. He's at a loss as to how the hell something like that can even happen, even more so how you could make that happen.

He tries to get his legs free from the roots, but they cling to him stubbornly, even when he pulls with his full weight. He huffs in frustration, dropping himself to sit down on the ground. "Are you gonna get those things to let go of me? I dropped the damn gun."

They tighten a bit as he talks to you like that and you watch as more vines slither across the ground and wrap around his rifle, dragging it away while also doing the same with the revolver on his hip.

"I... I can't." You admit quietly, wringing your hands nervously in front of you. "I told you, I'm not doin' it."

His eyes widen as the roots from the ground pull his revolver off of him, and the vines drag his rifle towards some far off tree line. He realizes promptly he's being toyed with- like a mouse to an un-hungry cat.

"The hell do you mean you can't?" He asks frustratedly, his eyes locked on you as you fidget in place. His heart is still pumping faster than it has in years. "Do it!"

"I-I, well-"

You start, ready to try and explain but you don't get very far before he's quickly hoisted up off the ground by his feet, being hung upside down as bullets and coins rain from of his pockets. He curses loudly over your yelp of surprise as the forest tosses him up into the air, leaving him to hang by his ankles nearly twenty feet above the ground. He can feel the blood quickly rushing to his head, leaving him dizzy as the items in his pockets come tumbling out. As he tries to reach for something, he loses his balance and starts to swing back and forth like a pendulum.

You wince in sympathy as you hesitantly reach out toward him before pulling your hand back quickly. "Sorry, sorry..." You say through clenched teeth, a guilty expression on your face.

"Could you... please... get me down?" He asks in a strained voice, trying his hardest to keep what was left in his stomach where it was.

You frown, taking a small, hesitant step closer. "I... I told you, I'm not doin' it." You repeat, glancing down at the small objects that fell from his pockets.

"Do you... always carry that many bullets?"

This is the first time in a forever that he's felt so defenseless, hanging from his feet in some clearly, definitely cursed forest. Still, he tries to ignore the humiliation he feels at being in this position, trying to keep his cool while also trying to keep in his breakfast.

"I like to be prepared." He responds tightly, his eyes staring at the ground as he continues to swing back and forth slowly above you.

"For what..?" You ask, knowing that now probably isn't the time, but you truly are curious. And it's not like he could hurt you at the moment.

He pauses for a second, thinking it over before shrugging awkwardly in his hung up position. "You never know when danger might come knocking." He explains, his eyes continuing to be locked on the grass below him. This was a damn embarrassing position to be in with an audience, especially a pretty one.

"Yeah I... I guess so..." You agree, unsure what to do as the vines circle him further, searching inside his clothes for more weapons, no doubt.

He lets the forest strip him of his weapons in silence, his pride already bruised for the day anyway. He only lets out a small grunt as a particularly sharp branch pokes him in the stomach, searching for anything else that might be hidden.

"If I ask you something, these things aren't gonna try and strangle me or anything, right?" He calls down, gritting his teeth as his blood continues to rush to his head.

You can't help but giggle a little as you look up at him, his arms dangling below his head and his shirt starting to fall a little bit as well.

"I don't think so." You say, tilting your head slightly and squinting against the sun as it comes back with your quiet laughter, surrounding you in more warmth and lighter air.

He watches you as you laugh, watching the way your eyes crinkle and the way your smile spreads across your face. He's starting to realize that he's pretty unfortunately attracted to you, especially with the way the sunlight hits you the way it always seems to. Taunting him, tempting him- you were a gift from the trees he doesn't think he would do very well to try and pluck away from the stem.

He takes a breath, swallowing hard and lifting his hands to try and swat away the vine digging into the waistband of his trousers to get at the dagger he had there. "Why aren't you scared of me?"

You giggle again, lowering your hand as some of the tree branches grow up and out in the perfect spot to shield only your eyes from the sun.

"No offense, but you're not exactly very fear-inducing at the moment." You reply, watching in slight amusement as he dangles from the roots, spinning slowly without an ounce of control over it.

He watches you shield your eyes with the branches, finding himself a little surprised at how the forest seems to bend to your will. Despite that, a small smile appears on his face, his arms crossing in front of his chest. "What're you talking about? I'm terrifying."

You let out another laugh as he tried to cross his arms over his chest, and then the birds are singing again. The roots start to lower him just a little bit at his lighthearted joke and the way it made me smile, and he finally stopped resisting.

"Yeah, I'm quakin' in my boots."

He rolls his eyes as he lets the plants lower him down, still trying not to look completely humiliated. "Very funny, smartass. Mind telling them to lower me the rest of the way?"

The roots quickly jerk him back up again at the comment and your smile drops as you wince again. His lips form into a tight line when the roots yank him back up again, his head spinning as all his blood shoots straight back to his brain. "I can't tell them what to do, unfortunately." You remind him, head still tilted back at a mildly uncomfortable angle to look up at him.

"They seemed to listen to you just a minute ago to give you some shade." He mutters, feeling like an idiot just hanging there.

"I didn't ask for them to do that." You reply, another small smile tugging at your lips that seems to bring the sun back just a bit.

He watches as your lips pull into a smile again, noticing the way the sun seems to come back just a little every time it does. He's starting to get it, even if he was far from a comprehensive or even realistic understanding.

"Oh, so this stuff is just what- a coincidence now?" He asks, gesturing to a nearby tree that had pushed its branches out to act as your own personal umbrella.

You look up at the branches over your head before back at him. "Okay, well, I never said that." You chuckle, standing on your toes and reaching up to one of the leaves, letting a ladybug crawl onto your fingers.

He watches you stand on your toes and reach up, nymph-like in the most graceful of ways- a sight if he's ever seen one. He can't help but notice how the sun seems to break through the trees a little more now, lighting your face and hair up in a way that's almost angelic. He can feel his mouth starting to go dry as he watched you play with the ladybug. "So... you talk to bugs too?"

"What? No." You giggle, letting the bug crawl up your arm and into your hair. They did really seem to like your hair, something you had always picked up on. You didn't like it much, but they never stayed for long. Just explored for a few moments before continuing on their merry way. "It's... it's more complicated than that. More like a feeling. Not with bugs," You explain quickly. "Just like... the space, if that makes sense."

He lets his eyes linger on the small red bug that was currently making a home in your hair, trying to distract himself from the way a few strands of it seemed to fall against the exposed skin of your collarbone.

"I'll be honest... not really." He responds, a small smile on his face, "I'm not much acquainted with stuff like that."

When you look up at him again, smile widening a bit when you see he's smiling too, the roots start to lower him another foot or so again. "That's alright. I don't really get it either." You shrug softly.

He lets out a small huff of laughter as he's lowered down again, finally feeling like he's starting to get used to hanging upside down. "Well, I guess we're two peas in a pod then, huh?" The sun breaks through the trees even further, casting a golden glow on both of you and the plants surrounding you.

You grin up at him and his flushed red face as you step out of the little umbrella and pick up his hat from the ground, dusting it off before starting to gather all his things and setting them inside like it was a bucket.

"So... what did you say was happening in the town? Livestock are dyin'? People gettin' sick?"

He watches you dust off his hat and collect his belongings as you speak, trying to ignore the flutter in his chest that he felt when he saw you handling his stuff like it was the most casual thing in the world.

"Yeah..." He responds, his voice sounding a little distracted, "No one's been able to figure out why for months now. They tried blaming it on all sorts of things, but nothing's worked so far... that's why I'm here."

"They think it's me." You comment, nodding slightly, picking up the last of his things before standing up again, looking up at him.

He watches you brush down your dress, his eyes lingering longer than they should on the gentle curve of your waist and how your seemingly soft hand smoothed over the surface. With the sun lighting you up like you were an angel sent from heaven itself? Maybe you were just as dangerous as they said. "Well... are you?"

Your brow furrows slightly and you shake your head, a small frown pulling at your lips. "No... I... Like I said I've never even been to the town. Okay, well, maybe once or twice, but I just like to go to the farmer's market every once in a while. I'd never want to hurt anyone."

He watches you look down sadly, noticing how your expression shifts to the sad one he saw when you were tending the graves not too long ago. He feels a pang of guilt in his chest, realizing his comment had been a little thoughtless.

"Hey, I didn't mean..." He starts, pausing for a moment as the vines slowly let him down even lower, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed."

"It's not your fault." You reply, watching him get lowered a little bit further. "If everyone believes it, I wouldn't expect you not to."

He's finally almost on the ground now, hanging just about eye level with you. At this point, looking at you from the upside down view makes his head spin a little.

"Yeah, well... I guess I still shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." He responds, watching as a soft breeze blows in through the clearing, messing your hair up for a moment and filling the air with the scent of wildflowers.

Your smile grows a bit at that. "Well, thank you. I appreciate that."

Then the roots are suddenly turning him upright again before he has the chance to even consider what to say, lowering him quickly to the grass and thrusting him forward into you. "Whoa..!" He stumbles forward, suddenly upright again, only to be flung forward at full speed straight into you. He grabs your arms by instinct, trying to keep from knocking you both backwards but failing as both of you land on a soft area of moss. The two of you fall back onto the ground, him landing on top of you with a soft thud. He can feel his heart racing in his chest as he looks down at you below him.

You're shocked at first, getting your bearings quickly though as you look up at him and into his blue eyes. It feels like you're looking straight through him at the beautiful and now clear sky above you, and you can't help but giggle when you've realized what happened. Clearly, the forest didn't see him as a threat to you anymore; stripped bare of his weapons and armed only with an apology for making assumptions.

His heart skips a beat the moment you start to laugh, the sound like music to his ears. He'd never heard a prettier sound than that. His heart hammers against his chest as he looks down at your face, the sunlight streaming through the tree tops to perfectly light up your face, giving you a golden glow. He can feel his mouth going dry again, just like it did earlier. He had never found someone so beautiful before, and for a moment, he's scared he's fallen victim to your rumoured enchantments.

He realizes after a moment how long he's been staring, and how close the two of you are. His face was so close he could see the individual lashes framing your eyes, the freckles spread across your skin, the light flush across your cheeks. His eyes fall to your lips, realizing how soft they looked... and how he badly he would like to taste them... Oh, he must be enchanted somehow.

"Are you quite alright?" You giggle, shifting a little bit, unwilling to outright ask him to get off. "I didn't expect them to throw you like that."

The giggling helps snap him out of it, and he suddenly realizes just how embarrassing the situation looks, and how strange it is that the forest would even do that to begin with. He scrambles to get off of you, sitting beside you on the ground.

"Yeah.. yeah... I'm fine...." He responds sheepishly, a flush on his own face as a few stray pieces of moss stick onto his clothes.

His face was still burning, and he couldn't get the sight of you laughing out of his head. The way your eyes had sparkled, how your hair had been splayed out around you against the grass... he shakes his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. He didn't have time to be getting all distracted like this. He glances over to you, noticing how your hair was still messy from the fall, a few blades of grass sticking out of it as a few flowers from the surrounding area are caught in the strands too.

You close your eyes, letting out a soft sigh as he moves off of you, smiling a little to yourself as you feel the sun on your skin. Just for that, it seems to burn a little brighter.

After a few moments you push yourself up so you're sitting as well, your gaze finding him again. "You must really believe me."

He tilts his head slightly, watching you push yourself into a sitting position beside him, your back against the tree and the sun still shining through the branches onto your face. He can feel his heart skip a beat as he stares.

"How do you figure that?" He blinks, trying to snap out of it and trying not to think too hard about how he was starting to feel towards you so quickly.

You nod over to the roots and vines retreating slowly back into the tree line. "They wouldn't have let you down otherwise."

He glances back over to the trees, watching the roots and the vines disappear back into the underbrush. He'd almost forgotten they were there, so distracted by you. A frown tugged at his lips, he should never be this distracted.

"I guess you're right..." He responds.

"You were the first to even get that close." You admit quietly, a thoughtful expression on your face as you glance over at the makeshift crosses and mounds of dirt a few feet away.

He lets out a soft breath of disbelief, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and the little burial site, a wave of guilt washing over him as he realizes just how rude he'd been when he first got there. You had been taking care of something really important to you and he had just thrown accusations at you without even knowing you. And for some reason the forest had even allowed him to get that close... there must be a good reason.

Even in these past few minutes of speaking to you, he'd been able to tell that you weren't dangerous, and hell- you were honestly one of the nicest people he'd ever met, and by far the prettiest. Not that that mattered.

He finally looks away from the crosses and focuses back on your face, noticing the grass and the flowers, and he can't help but think that they look kind of cute on you.

"Who are those for? ...If you don't mind me asking."

"The men who came before you, I assume." You tell him, looking down and picking at the grass. "You mentioned that people were hunting me, and no one came back. And I was wondering why bodies kept turning up here..."

A lump lodges in his throat as you confirm what he already knew deep down inside. He swallows hard, trying not to let the realization that he could've been just as dead as them show on his face, but by the look on yours, he knows you can tell what he's thinking anyway.

"You... didn't kill them?" He asks, trying to sound strong, but not quite keeping the trepidation out of his voice.

Your eyes snap up to his and you quickly shake your head. "No! No, I-" You defend quickly, sitting up a bit straighter and pushing yourself back a bit. "I... Like I said, they just turned up here. I come out here often to check on the older ones and lay flowers, I started coming back and there would just be someone laying there dead. I didn't... I just buried them."

His face softens slightly as he sees the panicked expression on your face, how defensive you were at the accusation, how you quickly scooted away from him as if you would run if you had to. He knew you were telling the truth. He curses himself for letting his imagination create the image of you again, standing over a corpse with your hands covered in blood- that thought alone made him somewhat nauseous.

He lets out a slow, shaky breath, his eyes glued to the little crosses. He could've been there too, no better than carrion for the animals. Of course they were the men who came before him, and he's sure the forest was much less forgiving than just hanging them by their boots and taking their guns.

"Why do you come back here every day?" He finds himself asking.

"I... uh... I don't live far." You explain, glancing back over your shoulder. "And... um... my parents are here. And my brother." You add quietly, fiddling with the crystal around your neck as you look briefly over at some much older graves at the edge of the clearing.

His eyes follow your gaze over to where a group of older, smaller crosses laid on the other side of the clearing, and the realization finally set in that you were here every day to tend the graves of your family.

"You're an orphan...." He says it like a statement instead of a question, not realizing he'd said it out loud until a moment later.

You nod softly in response, leaning back on one of your palms.

"You are too." You reply, tone gentle in the observation.

He freezes, his eyes going wide as you call him out so delicately. The way you say it, it was almost like you had looked inside and had seen him for exactly what he was.

"How'd you know?"

"I can feel it." You tell him, knowing how vague it sounded- but you didn't have any better understanding of it than he did.

He blinks, looking down at the ground as he processes that. An uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach, knowing that somehow, you'd seen straight through every front he put up in seconds."What do you mean by that?"

You shrug slightly. "Exactly what I said. I can just... feel it. Like you can see or hear things, you know? I just... know. It's hard to explain."

He was silent for a few moments as he nodded slowly, still watching the way your fingers fidgeted with the necklace around your neck. He knew something was up with you, with how the forest seemed to welcome him when it made everyone else run. But he was starting to get the feeling he was only just scratching the surface.

He took a moment, looking up again at the simple crosses and mounds of dirt littered around the clearing, the thought that you'd had to bury your family by yourself and continue tending to their graves for who knows how long was making his heart ache in a way he didn't know was so familiar to him until he was faced with it.

"I'm sorry." He finally speaks after a few stiff moments, his voice sounding a bit softer and more tentative than before. "How old were you?"

"Fourteen." You answer quietly, looking over at him again and offering him a weak smile.

A lump forms in his throat as he takes in your answer. You'd taken care of them at only fourteen years old. The realization settled heavily in his stomach like a rock, how impossibly unfair the world was, to be dealing hands just like his out to others. To sweet girls with soft skin and perfect smiles. "Jesus ...." He mutters quietly, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes.

Picturing you as a reflection of himself, nothing more than a child, all alone in the dark forest trying her best to dig a hole for all her loved ones overturning into a vision of the last he had seen of his family. Year after hurtful year, standing over graves and tossing in handfuls of dirt to send them on their way. It made bile rise in his throat.

He looks over at you silently, and his heart aches again. He knows what it feels like to be all alone. You, in the cold, dark woods for so long with no one to look to and him, in the cold and bright lights of being hunted for his actions. You, sitting next to him on the soft forest floor, were his only chance at leaving that behind. Of looking to the future, burying you and the harm you supposedly caused behind him with his wanted posters left to blow inconsequentially in the wind. He wonders how long it had been since you had seen another face other than his in this little graveyard, and he realizes he couldn't stomach carrying your corpse back into town. If the trees would even let him take your body so far without leaving your cold skin covered in the claw marks of it's efforts to keep you here with it, nestled in the safety of its tree cover.

"No one should have to live like this... all alone." He says quietly, the words leaving his mouth before he even realizes it.

You pull at the grass in front of you mindlessly as you shrug. "I'm not alone. Not really." You say quietly.

You look over at him again, studying him for a few moments. "You're a lot more lonely than I am, I think."

He pauses at that, his heart panging in his chest again at the truthfulness of your statement. He knew you were right, he was lonely. No family, no friends. Hell- before today, he's pretty sure no one's ever looked at him the way you are now. With something like kindness. He lets out a rough sigh as he rubs the back of his neck.

"Guess we've got that in common, then."

"I guess so." You agree quietly, giving him a small, slightly sad smile.

You lean over and pick up his hat from the ground next to where you'd both fallen, checking inside that it still held all his pocket change and bullets before holding it out to him.

He stares at the hat in your hands for a moment before looking back up at you, studying the way you sat beside him with your head tilted to the side, the way your dress clung brunched up around your hips and the way your hair fell over your shoulders in messy waves in the afternoon sunlight.

He swallows hard as he reaches out and takes the hat from you, his fingers brushing yours for a second. "Thank you..."

"Of course." You hum, tucking your knees up to your chest and brushing some of the stray grass and moss off of your calves and arms. "Thanks for not killing me."

He lets out a short laugh, setting the hat back onto his head after shoving its contents back into his pockets. "I'm not going to kill you." He says firmly, his eyes following your fingers as you brush off your skirt.

A small smile twitches at your lips as you look over at him, and you feel that familiar pulsing of power in your fingertips and chest, running through your skin again.

You can feel that he means it, and you felt safe before, but even more so now.

The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for another moment, listening to the sounds of the forest around you, and he feels a sense of peace in this quiet space he'd stumbled into.

There were a hundred different ways he could be spending his afternoon. There were bounties to be collected, townsfolk to cheat at poker, and cards to be dealt and drank to. But instead, he was sitting in the middle of a makeshift graveyard with a lonely, beautiful, witch in the middle of the woods and he'd never been more at peace in his entire life.

"Are you... hungry?" You ask after a minute or so, glancing up at the sky to see whereabouts the sun was. It was likely mid to late afternoon by now, and you still hadn't eaten yet- that hadn't been a lie. You had to get back, but you didn't just want to let him go without making sure he would be able to make it back safely.

He was actually a little surprised that he hadn't thought about it. After all, he'd been walking around in the forest for hours. Now that you mention it, he can feel a hollow emptiness in his gut and a sharp pang of hunger go through his body.

"Yeah.. I could eat." He says, rubbing the back of his neck as he tilts his head up towards sky and squints against the sunlight streaming down.

You push myself up from the soft moss you were sitting on, ignoring the bits of it that clung to your dress and hair for the time being.

"Alright, well, c'mon then." You grin, glancing back at him over your shoulder as you go to collect the basket of drying lavender from the grave you were tending before he interrupted.

His eyes widen a little as he watches you stand up, his eyes lingering a little bit too long on the curve of your hips again. He shakes his head before getting up himself, gathering his things and brushing himself off before following the witch deeper into the forest that would inexplicably kill to keep her.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

#billy the kid x reader #billy the kid x you #billy the kid #tom blyth #william h bonney x reader #william h bonney x you #billy the kid 2022 #billy the kid fanfiction #billy the kid imagines #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth fic #william bonney x you #william bonney x reader #william bonney #william h bonney #billy bonney

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callsign-rogueone · 10 months ago

Text

alone with you - l.m.

Liam Mairi x reader part two of Liam and Spark's story. words: 3.0k 🏷: Fourth Wing spoilers (spark knows things that Violet doesn't lmao), sparring and a tiny bit of blood, reader gets injured but not to worry, someone takes care of you. no pronouns used for reader but Liam does call you a girl. Tuile being a bitch (wbk) and perhaps some answers about what happened in spark's first year at basgiath... I'm still not good at writing fight scenes, sorry lol

Another year, another round of challenges. Another opportunity to show the entire quadrant that you’re not here to fuck around, nor to make friends.

You loosen your muscles as Emeterrio discusses the rules of engagement, cracking your neck and stretching out your arms, taking mental inventory of all the weapons on your body -- even though it’s frowned upon to use them in these fights, you keep the array of knives at the ready.

“I see the general’s girl has survived the week,” Tuile muses. “I’m almost impressed.”

You cast a glance across the room, seeing her standing next to the cadet who was in front of her in line for Parapet, the one she’d traded boots with.

“It’s only a matter of time,” you mutter back.

Even though Xaden had convinced the two dozen of you to leave her alone, it’s likely that somebody else is going to see how fragile she is and walk right up and snap her in two, to thin the herd -- not that she has a real chance of making it to threshing anyway, not without some divine intervention.

But she’s a perfect little Navarrian citizen, so she must pray to their gods every night before bed. Maybe they’ll help her, because you sure as hell won’t; you have a reputation to maintain, and there’s no rational explanation you could give her for why you would want to help her at all, not without jeopardizing the entire revolution -- she might not take after her traitorous older brother, who as far as she and everyone else in this death trap of a college is aware, is dead.

She seems to notice you watching her, locking eyes with you for a split second and quickly averting her gaze. She’s afraid of you and all of your friends, unaware that your respect for Brennan is what’s keeping her alive right now.

Fear is a requirement for survival here. Maybe she’ll make it longer than you’d thought.

It’s not a surprise to you at all that your name is called first, nor that you’re matched with the largest cadet in the class. It became clear to you last year that the professors aren’t making these assignments randomly. It couldn’t be a coincidence that they keep pairing you with the best fighters -- but never with another marked one, even though you’re all at the top of the class.

No, they’re probably entertained by all of this, betting on you like racehorses or wild dogs, placing wagers on who would come out on top. If anyone’s putting money on you, you’ve made them a killing -- you’re undefeated.

But that would require someone else to bet against you, and while you may not respect all of the professors and leadership, or any of them, really, you don’t think they’re dumb enough to throw their money away like that.

“We meet again,” he says with a sick grin that makes the scar below his eye stretch and contort.

You don’t respond, taking one last survey of the seven blades on your body, but you’re not dumb enough to touch them, lest he see where they are and try to take them himself, like he did earlier this year.

He’d wrapped his fingers around the wooden hilt of the blade that Liam had given you before you left for Basgiath, intent on putting it through your heart, and you’d seen red.

“You should have taken his eye out.”

“I gave him that scar as a warning,” you reply evenly. “It’s up to him if he’s going to heed it or not.”

You’re at it as soon as Emeterrio says go, taking turns lunging at each other and blocking attacks.

You’re evenly matched, despite the size he has on you. He may be stronger, more intimidating, but you’re faster, and you know what you’re doing. You know where to hit and when, your strikes much more precise than his.

Still, Liam’s heart races.

It was one thing watching you mess around with Bodhi in the courtyard, but it’s another thing entirely seeing you fight as if your life depends on it -- and it does. There’s a very real possibility that one of you is going to be spending the evening in the infirmary, or the morgue, after this ends.

You fight like Xaden, like himself and Bodhi and Imogen and everyone else his brother had a hand in training, but with an edge he’s never seen from you before.

He hesitates to put a name to it, but there’s something in your eyes akin to a wild animal’s as the pair of you stalk circles around each other, planning your next attack.

“It’s not polite to play with your food,” Tuile chides.

Fine. You’ll finish this, if only so she’ll shut up and leave you alone.

The other cadet has the same idea.

You charge at the same time as he hurls a dagger in your direction, and you hit the ground at the last second to avoid being skewered. You start to press up to your feet, but he stomps a boot into your back, pain ripping down your spine. You swallow a scream, digging your nails into the sticky foam beneath you.

The mental wall separating you from Tuile crumbles, that familiar white-hot anger flowing through you. “Do something.”

You unsheath a dagger, reaching up and swiping it across his calf, and he hisses in pain, releasing you and taking a stumbling step back.

It’s easy enough for you to knock him off balance, landing three consecutive blows to his ribs and a swift kick to his stomach that sends him to the floor.

You’re tired of this already. It’s lost its novelty, and you really need to sit down -- there’s black spots clouding your vision, and the pain in your back has gotten impossibly worse.

“Do I have to kill you in front of the kids, or do you yield?”

“I yield,” he rasps, still clutching his leg.

You lean down, wiping each side of the blade on his shirt before you sheath it.

“Sloppy, but satisfactory,” Tuile comments — that’s high praise from her. Maybe she’ll give you the evening off from her snide remarks.

You slot yourself between Liam and Bodhi, leaning against the wall as casually as you can; every movement has pain spreading across your lower back and shooting down your spine.

You try to focus on rebuilding the wall she’d knocked down, brick by brick, taking deep breaths and forcing the anger out of your body.

Liam reaches for you, looking worried.

You speak under your breath, not moving your lips. “Not here. Not in front of everyone.”

He pulls back without protest, understanding why you don’t want him helping you where the rest of the quadrant can see you, don’t want them to see the look of concern on his face and his hand on your arm and identify him as your weakness.

You may very well be the most hated person in the quadrant, being marked, bonded to one of Navarre’s nastiest dragons, and unafraid to draw blood in challenges. There are several cadets in this room who wouldn’t hesitate to go after Liam if they thought it would hurt you -- and it would.

You don’t care what they do to you, what pain they inflict or what scars they leave on your body, but if anyone so much as touches Liam, they’ll lose the use of their hands.

You breathe through the pain and keep your eyes on the fights unfolding in front of you; making note of who favors what side of their body, who gets sloppy after more than a minute, who yields because they don’t have the stomach to take things further.

Most of the cadets think this is the one class you don’t have to study for, but they’d be wrong -- there’s a reason you always come out on top, and this is it.

The class ends without Liam’s name being called, which is a relief, even though you don’t doubt his skill on the mat — it’s off the mat that you’re worried about.

Almost everyone heads straight to dinner, but Liam hangs back, getting your attention with a barely-there touch to your elbow. You look over at him, and he nods in the other direction, toward the dorms.

Of course he’s going to insist on checking your injuries himself, as he always did in the years you trained with him and Xaden. He doesn’t seem to think anything has changed between you in the year you’ve been away.

Sooner or later, he’ll realize he’s wrong.

You wait for nearly everyone to be out of the gym before you leave, leading him up to the second floor in silence and unlocking your door with a wave of your hand, gesturing him inside -- thankfully there’s nobody in the hallway to see you.

You haven’t been alone with him in a full year. A year and two weeks, if you want to be precise. The day you’d said goodbye, and nothing else.

You busy yourself with digging through your desk drawer to find the nearly-empty tin of healing balm, handing it to him before you turn away, gritting your teeth as you pull the shirt up over your head.

If you weren’t pouring every ounce of energy you have left into keeping yourself upright, you might have it in you to be embarrassed about the amount of skin you’re exposing to him, the history of your first year at Basgiath on full display. But it’s Liam. Liam isn’t going to judge you, isn’t going to pry; he’ll just keep giving you that soft, concerned look -- which is somehow almost worse.

There’s a moment of quiet as he takes it in; the dark blue, nearly-black silhouette of Tuile that spans your shoulder blades and continues down your back, disappearing into the layers of thick linen wrapped over your chest, the full extent of your rebellion relic, winding down your arm to your wrist…

Then he sees it, the nasty bruise starting to form on your back, below the hem of your bindings. The other cadet had hit you square in the spine, a blow that could very well have been paralyzing had it been delivered at a slightly different angle with slightly more force. That’s probably what he’d intended.

Liam isn’t particularly religious -- none of you are, which was a major reason why your parents had wanted to secede from Navarre -- but he still sends up a silent thank you to the powers that be that you’re okay, standing in front of him mostly unharmed.

You grit your teeth, keeping your eyes shut and gripping the shirt tightly as Liam’s hand rubs over your back, working in the healing balm.

There’s something about the feeling of his skin on yours that is more uncomfortable than the aching bruise or any of the other injuries you’d sustained in that fight.

You can handle the brush of your hands, a touch through layers of clothing and armor, eye contact and whispered words and smiles — all things that are acceptable behavior between friends — but the tenderness of this whole thing is overwhelming; being alone with Liam in your room, his bookbag on the floor, standing behind you rubbing a hand over your back, the other on your waist to hold you steady because you’re fucking trembling.

Maybe you are a little embarrassed after all.

The skin feels warm and tingly, a sign that whatever healing herbs within the sticky paste are working, soothing the aching muscle. Your entire body feels warm. It’s unbearably hot in this room, but Liam doesn’t seem to mind, still dressed in his flight jacket and full uniform.

He moves his attention from your back to your side, murmuring a soft apology when you startle at the feeling of his hand smoothing over your ribs.

You take a breath, letting him work more of the balm into the spot where the other cadet’s fist had landed.

He finally pulls back, letting his hand linger on your waist until he’s convinced you won’t fall over. “Anything else hurting?” he asks gently.

“My head,” you admit to the wall. “But that never goes away.”

You pull the shirt back on as quickly as you can, done feeling exposed, and fight to maintain an unaffected expression as you turn back to face him.

He looks at you for a few seconds before it dawns on him -- the persistent headache, the flatness of your skin and your constantly racing heart, the way you’re bracing yourself with a hand on the desk, how tired you look and feel… “Spark, when was the last time you had water? Or anything to drink at all?”

Liam has always been too observant for his own good.

You take a moment to think about it, another definite indicator that something is wrong. “Yesterday,” you answer quietly. “At dinner.”

His eyes widen almost imperceptibly. It’s been a full twenty-four hours -- you’re supposed to be at dinner right now. It’s a miracle that you hadn’t passed out on the mat this afternoon.

He doesn’t scold you, doesn’t tell you how bad that is; he just squeezes your hand gently, taking the water bottle out of his bag and uncapping it. He can see you hesitating, knows something is wrong -- it takes a lot to rattle you, but you’re looking at the thing like it’s going to bite you.

“Three sips?” he asks softly.

That seems doable.

You take the bottle from him, holding it for a moment, feeling the weight of the metal and the energy flowing through the water inside it. It’s clean, calm, not murky and angry like the river water that Carr had made you practice with last year, but that doesn’t matter; in your hands, it’s the most dangerous substance on the planet.

And as fate would have it, it’s necessary for your survival.

You’re just grateful Tuile is off doing gods-know-what and not making her usual smug commentary -- she’d left after you’d won that challenge match, but she’ll be back soon enough.

You raise it to your lips and drink, wanting to get it over with. The water is cool and crisp, breathing life back into your mouth and soothing your throat as you swallow, your body singing in relief as you give it what it’s been deprived of for months now.

You take a moment to breathe, comforted by the air that continues to flow into your lungs and back out. Liam is standing in front of you. You’re okay. Two more. You can do this.

You bring it back up for another sip. You hadn’t realized how much you needed this, how much better it would make you feel. You take the next one in quick succession — that’s three. You’re done.

You hate to admit it, but you feel better already.

Liam is still watching you with that soft, worried expression, though it’s less severe now than it had been earlier. You can see the gears turning, knowing he’s wondering why this was such a big deal for you; but there’s no judgment there, just genuine concern for your well-being.

You decide to tell him the truth, or part of it.

“I almost drowned when I channeled for the first time,” you say quietly, gazing back down at the half-empty bottle. “It was fucking terrifying. I couldn’t shower alone for a week. I needed one of the girls to come into the bathroom with me and face the wall, just talking to me the whole time. Then we realized Bo can counter signets. He’s been helping me control it, but…”

So that’s what Xaden had meant when he said that Bodhi was helping you deal with things. He wonders if there’s anything else his brother hadn’t told him, anything you aren’t telling him, but he won’t demand an answer from you -- he knows how difficult it must have been for you to tell him what you did, and he won’t push you further.

He takes the bottle back and caps it, gathering you into his arms silently, the way he’d wanted to back in the gym. He’s careful not to put any pressure on the injury, keeping his hands well above the bruise -- one between your shoulder blades and one on your ribs, on the side that you hadn’t been hit.

You rest your head on his shoulder, speaking in a whisper. “Thank you, Li.”

His lips brush over your hairline, where the ache is the worst. “Of course, sweet girl.”

You don’t want to let go of him yet, but you’ve already been holding each other longer than is appropriate for friends -- and that’s all you are, for the time being.

He finally pulls away, and you could nearly cry at the loss of contact.

“I need a minute,” you manage. “You should head down.”

You’re reminded again of why you love him so much as he nods in understanding, shouldering his bag and giving you a soft smile before he heads out your door.

All good things must come to an end.

“Sweet? He must not know you at all.”

“He knows me better than you ever will,” you snap back.

At least she waited for him to leave, for you to be done with the water, or you would have some serious explaining to do.

You build up the wall again before she replies, and though it isn’t strong enough to block her out completely, she doesn’t push against it or knock it down -- she must not feel like getting into a pissing match with you right now.

Good. You don’t either.

You notice he left the bottle on your desk. You manage another three sips before you finally head down to dinner, where you slide into the open seat beside Liam, silently pushing the empty bottle toward him.

“I’m proud of you,” he whispers, not wanting to draw any attention from the group around you, who are all immersed in hearty conversation.

You haven’t heard those words from anyone in a long time. They mean more to you than he could ever imagine.

#liam and spark #liam mairi x reader #fourth wing x reader #fourth wing #liam mairi #mine

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aperrywilliams · 1 year ago

Text

More Than You Know (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

(Not my gif. Credit to the creator)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Summary: You’re Spencer's best friend. You have gone through many things together, but after Spencer is incarcerated, things turn different for both of you. Not to mention you have been in love with him for a long time too. How much will you endure until you can’t take it anymore?

Word Count: 5.9k

TW: ANGST. Strong language. Mention of abduction, drug use, getting shot, death of relatives and loved ones, jail, pregnancy, unsafe sex, and potential cheating. All the deal!

A/N: Not a happy ending, at least for Spencer and Reader. Do you think they could have a chance in the future? (I wrote it as a one-shot, but it makes me kind of sad). Let me know what you think.

Part 2: More Than You Say

Part 3: More Than You Expect (the end)

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I don’t have the habit of arriving early at work. I only do it when it is strictly required. I’m not a morning person. I have never been. So you can guess how my mood turns dark when people push me to let go of some minutes of my precious morning sleep, even when Spencer is the one who asks me to.

He called me this morning at 6 am, telling me he needed to talk to me in person. So we agreed to grab a coffee in our usual place before work.

"Thanks for coming," Spencer greets me when I arrive. A harsh expression adorns his features while I sit in the booth before him.

I can’t help the yawn escaping my lips.

“Did I have a choice?” I ask, gesturing to the barista for my regular order.

“I need to talk to you,” he prefaces, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He looks distressed. I narrow my eyes, thinking about what could be causing it.

“Yeah, that’s what you said by phone when you woke me up this morning. Why you didn’t tell me there what’s going on?”

“I couldn't tell you by phone,” he excuses himself as the barista approaches and hands me my coffee. I thank her, returning my gaze to my friend.

My mind starts racing with possibilities, and my heartbeat picks up its rate.

“Something happened to your mom?” I ask cautiously. Spencer shakes his head immediately.

“No. My mom is okay.”

Well, that discards a big issue so that I can breathe a little.

“Nightmares again?”

I can recall how bad nightmares could be for Spencer. Since Hankel and passing by Emily’s dead, Maeve, and then prison, Spencer is a lightning rod for nightmares.

“No. Not in a while.”

Good. Another bad thing out of the list.

“Headaches?”

A big issue that worsened after Doyle stabbed Emily and led Spencer to Maeve.

“No. I’m good with that.”

Okay, I’m running out of options here. Is it the job?

“The bureau wants you to take longer sabbaticals?”

“No! Not that either.”

I give up. I don’t think anything is important enough to make me be here before 7 am.

“Spencer, I’m lost. Just tell me what’s going on,” I urge, running out of patience and dying to know what this is about.

"It's about Alison," he clarifies, and I can’t help but groan.

Seriously? The problem is a girl?

"Alison?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, the girl I'm seeing lately?" He adds to help my recall. I know Alison, but I won't waste a chance to mess with Spencer, especially considering he made me up early for this.

"I'm sorry. I don't remember that one. I lost track after Lonna," I shrug. Spencer rolls his eyes, knowing what I’m doing.

"Not now, (Y/N). This is important,” he scolds.

I look at him incredulously. What could be so important about a girl he's seeing?

"Okay, okay. Don't be so dense. What happens with the gorgeous Alison?" I ask, sipping my coffee.

"She may be pregnant," he suddenly says with a grimace.

"What?!" I squeal, almost choking on the coffee in my mouth. Spencer looks around us to see if someone is listening to our conversation.

"Shush! You wanna me repeat what I just said?" he whisper-shouts.

"Come on, Spencer. You must be kidding me.”

I take a napkin to clean the mess I made with my coffee.

“I’m afraid I’m not.”

“How come you, from all the people, don't know what birth control and condoms are?"

Spencer's cheeks flush. He is embarrassed, but his need to confide in someone is greater.

This is eating him alive.

"May I forget to use one a while ago? I mean, we were in a rush, and-" I cut him off.

"No. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know the details of your sex life. I'm just concerned about how reckless you have become, honestly.”

The last part isn’t intended to sound that rough. Spencer is a grown man who can do whatever he pleases with his life, but I‘m worried about him. Since prison happened, he has been stumbling and making poor decisions, including fooling around with women.

Spencer's gaze drops to the floor, just like a child being scolded by his parents. I hate to see him like this. I hate to see him hurting and lost. So I recant my grown-up role this time.

"Spencer, look at me." I pause until his eyes meet mine. "I'm sorry if it was harsh; I'm just worried, okay? Now tell me, Alison told you?"

He shakes his head.

"Not directly. But she told me she's been feeling sick, and this morning I - I heard her throwing up. And I am almost sure she didn't have her period last month," Spencer recounts each fact as his breathing picks up.

Great. A panic attack is what I needed now.

"Hey, hey. Just breathe, okay?" I urge, calling his attention. He nods and slowly does what I say.

After a minute, he starts to feel better to speak.

"What should I do?" Spencer groans, with both hands grabbing his head.

In a twisted way, I found the scene comical.

Spencer is asking me what to do. To me.

I mean, what could I even tell him? He's my friend, but this is far ahead of what I could advise someone for.

Let alone someone who I have feelings for.

Yeah. That's the hard truth.

Cliche as it sounds, I have feelings for my best friend. A man who will never reciprocate those feelings. That's how fuck up the situation is.

But after years of keeping that secret, I learned how to mask everything for the sake of our friendship and our jobs.

"For starters, we don't know if she is pregnant. Maybe it is just your paranoia. We must be sure, so you must ask her," I instruct. Spencer looks at me in horror as if I just said he needed to jump from the 20th floor.

"What? No! I can't do that!"

"You can, and you will. You can't keep stressing out about something you don't even know!"

"And what if she is? I should marry her?" My eyes widened at that.

And the people call him a genius.

"Spencer, don't rush to the next town when you haven't stepped in this one first. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You both need to talk and decide if things turn that way, okay?"

He lets out a deep exhale.

"Okay. Okay. You're right."

Even if I want to slap him right now, I know I will never do it. Squeezing his shoulder affectionately, I let out my following words.

"You'll figure it out. Whatever it is, you'll know what to do, and I'll be by your side, okay? You're not alone."

Spencer looks at me with gratitude and a hint of relief. He knows I’m genuine in my statement. He knows I’ll be by his side no matter what.

It always has been that way.

We joined the team almost at the same time. While Jason Gideon recruited Spencer, Aaron Hotchner recruited me. Gideon insisted that Spencer’s brain and knowledge about everything would be an enormous asset to the team. Hotch did the same with me, pointing out how my interpersonal skills and impressive field experience would be valuable to the job. Different reasons, same outcome: being the newest made us closer. And not a long time after, we became best friends.

I was there when Spencer got abducted by Tobias Hankel. I was there when he struggled with his drug addiction. I consoled him when Gideon left and then when he died years later. I cared for him when he got shot in the knee and neck. We cried together when Emily ‘died.’ And after what happened to Maeve, I was there for all steps on the way. The last straw was Mexico and the three months in Millburn. I never missed a visit, and I was by his side when he had to talk to Cat Adams.

And the same way I have been for him, he has been for me. A few months after I joined the team, I got shot in the shoulder, and Spencer helped me a lot. He rode the ambulance with me when I got shot again in the abdomen three years later. He was with me when my dad passed away. Spencer comforted me when one of my long-term boyfriends dumped me. He took a serious role in rooting for me whenever I doubted myself in the job and life.

We know each other like the palm of our hands.

Everybody would have thought our friendship was forged to everlast. And I‘m still adamant about making it that way, even if after a few years of knowing each other, I realized I‘m in love with Spencer. How could I not?

Even at some point, those feelings could have been reciprocal. I noticed things between us changed after Hotch and Morgan left the team.

The stolen glances, the little touches, the overprotectiveness, the subtle flirting. I indulged myself with the idea that it was a natural turn to us be more than friends.

But then Mexico happened.

And things changed for Spencer and me.

The moment we understood what happened and that Spencer would be locked until we could find who did this to him, I didn't rest. I didn't sleep. I barely eat. But I put a brave face on him. I knew he was having the worst time there, so I was who encouraged him every chance I got.

But it didn't matter how hard we tried, how hard I tried. Spencer locked himself and didn't let anyone in. The day he was released, I hugged him first and felt some normalcy. He said how much he missed me, how much he missed us all.

Things went well for a while, but I could tell Spencer wasn't okay. He talked less; he looked distant and disaffected. Sure, Spencer was trying to cope with everything. And as before, I tended my hand to him to hold. And in a way, he took it, but not how it would help him heal.

Our relationship turned instrumental, at least for him.

He started failing in the job, lying to Emily about his whereabouts when he ran late. His mind was distracted more often. If he was reckless at the job before, now it was worse. He snapped more too. And for every time, I was there to cover him up. That's how everyone assumed he was still finding his balance, but I wasn't so sure.

Things worsened when Spencer discovered sex was an excellent way to release frustration. At first, I didn't think it could be a big deal. Getting laid wasn't a big deal. Not ideal for me, but I suppressed my jealousy for his sake. I would choose his well-being ten thousand times before my stupid love for him.

Still, things have not improved. Almost a year after Millburn, Spencer keeps stumbling, getting into trouble, and does not act as he should. I know I have my responsibility quote, but I'm too involved in this cycle to break it.

I want to say at least I have my friend, but that isn’t entirely true. Every time I have needed him in the past year, he hasn't been there. I could tell he hadn’t even noticed I had been losing weight or the doctor’s appointment I had to attend for feeling sick.

I’m alone by myself. It's sad, but I can’t force him. I’m not like that. I would never beg for affection from anyone who doesn’t want to give it, even if I needed it. People would say it is the wrong way, but I cannot be otherwise.

Some days after our coffee shop conversation, Spencer rushes to my desk to tell me the ‘good news.’ False alarm. Alison isn’t pregnant.

Spencer looks relaxed and relieved. Maybe it’s the wake-up call he needs to slow down. My hope is short-lived, though, because while he tells me everything, his phone ding. A smirk appears on his face when he sees the incoming text.

“What is it?” I ask, and Spencer bites his lower lip.

“I have a date,” he answers, typing on his phone.

“With Alison?” I narrow my eyes. He looks at me when he’s done sending the message.

“No! Of course not. I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I told her I needed time to think,” he explains like he’s talking about the weather.

“So you’re going to meet another girl without breaking up with Alison?”

“You can’t break up with someone you’re not officially involved with,” Spencer shrugs.

I want to kill him right now.

“God, Spencer. What are you doing?”

The question is primarily rhetorical, but Spencer answers nonetheless.

“Living, (Y/N). I’m living for the first time in my life.”

Can I argue with that logic? Sure. There is so much I can tell him. But I’m tired. Spencer doesn't see or hear reasons. Not even from me. It seems I have lost the privilege of being listened to by him.

Since that talk, I can’t stop thinking about what I am doing. Am I clasping onto something it doesn't exist anymore?

I don’t know the answer, and I don’t know if I want to get one. I’m just holding until I can’t do it anymore.

And that's how time flies. Things look relatively the same, and I'm just trying to float so I don't drown.

We just ended a gruesome case in Arizona. Our jet landed an hour ago, and everyone is in the mood for a drink. Rossi and Matt are the only ones with excuses to go home early.

Once there, Penelope grabs Luke’s hands and drags him to the dance floor. JJ offers to get us some drinks. Emily volunteers to help her.

Spencer is quiet, looking at me, but I barely notice. My mind is elsewhere.

“Are you okay?” He asks. The question takes me by surprise. In the past weeks, we haven’t talked that much.

“Yeah. Good. The case, you know?”

Spencer nods, but I see the worry lingering.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

I want to say I believe him, but I don’t. It’s been months since I felt that close to him. But even if I don’t believe him, I may voice my concern again.

“I don’t know,” I preface, and Spencer’s attention is full on me. It's weird, to say the least, but I will take the chance. “There is this thing bugging me. About our-” I can’t end my idea before the sound of someone squealing ‘Spencer!’ reach our ears.

The man in question snaps his head up. It's Alison. Before I can say anything, he stands, and after mumbling a ‘sorry,’ he goes to the girl calling his name.

There it goes. Nothing. Again.

I sigh before sipping my drink. What was I hoping, anyway?

JJ and Emily return to our table and ask for Spencer. Not even looking behind, I gesture to my back. They understand.

We set for drinking and complaining about whatever comes to mind. I know they know, but they are respectful enough not to push me.

The night is progressing, and I enroll in conversation with Luke and Penelope when they return from their dancing. After they leave, Emily cracks jokes to make me laugh, and JJ does her best to lose a little.

The sound of glass crushing gets our attention to the bar. There he was. Spencer is between two girls who are arguing about something. I recognize Alison, but not the other one.

“Ups. Someone is in trouble,” Emily mused. JJ shakes her head in a disapproving mood. I see Spencer’s eyes darting between the girls and trying to soothe the argument, failing miserably.

I ponder my options. I can leave him to deal with his mess for once or give him a hand. Emily reads my mind.

“Are you sure?” she asks. I shrug, standing from my spot.

“I wouldn’t like to see him complaining because one of those girls broke a bottle on his head.”

I stroll to where the action is happening, morphing my annoyed look into a confident one.

"Hey baby, I was looking for you!” I chirp, using the most loving voice as my arms wrap around Spencer’s torso.

The girls don’t look happy with my intrusion.

"We were talking with Spencer," Alison says as if I don't know that.

"Yeah, he was about to explain who he’ll choose between us," the other girl adds.

If I could have rolled my eyes, I would do it. Are they that naive? But they have a point: maybe Spencer would do what they want under pressure, even if he doesn't like it. That's why I‘m here. I know him.

"I'm so sorry, girls, but you got it wrong. This man is mine, and believe me when I tell you, you should be walking away right now. You don't want to mess with me, his wife, and the mother of his child waiting for us at home, right baby?" Now I talk to him.

Spencer's mouth goes agape, even more than Alison's and the other girl's.

"Your what?!" Alison yells. Her eyes are a few inches to pop out of their sockets.

"You have a child?!" The other looks as shocked as Alison.

Spencer only stutters incoherent words. They aren’t needed, though. After cursing him and letting out a bunch of expletives, both girls stomp out of the bar.

That’s when I notice I still have my arms around him. I pull away and clear my throat.

"You're welcome," I say before turning into my heels.

Spencer wraps my wrist to stop me. His eyes are curious, examining my features as if reading me. I return an annoyed look.

"What?"

"Why did you do it?" He asks as if he is really intrigued by my actions. It may feel more natural for me than for him.

"To save your ass? Come on, Reid. They would have eaten you alive," I scoff. Spencer chuckles, knowing that it is what could have happened.

"Yeah. But why you saved my ass? You could have feasted with the scandal."

I shrug. For a second, it crossed my mind just to be honest and give him a piece of my mind. But it‘s dangerous territory, so I opt for the safer way.

"That's what the friends are for. Even if you deserve being kicked in your ass sometimes," I try to sound light like it isn’t a big deal.

"Friends, uh?" Spencer points, mulling my words. I don't know why that specific word interests him, but I don’t read into it. "Well, thank you, then."

Now he is grinning as if a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

"You're going home?" I ask, thinking Spencer only wants to disappear from the bar after the recent events. He narrows his eyes and shakes his head like I’m talking nonsense.

"No. Not when I'm free to have a good time, at last."

"What?"

"Do you see those girls over there?" He points with his look to a group of women giggling and drinking on the opposite side of the bar.

My stomach drops to my feet as I look at him in disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"To you? I would never. You're my best friend. Thanks again," Spencer says warmly before kissing my cheek and strolling to the group he has spotted.

And here I am, standing in the middle of the bar, with words stuck in my throat and the feeling that the last 10 minutes hadn't even happened. The bartender stares at me with that empathetic look that reflects more pity than anything else. I look back at him and ask for a drink. Since I’m there, I won’t waste the chance of alcohol replacing the burning I already feel in my stomach.

"Don't tell me. You saved his ass just to let him have the chance to screw it up again," Emily summarizes when I return to the table with my drink. Both have seen all the action in the bar that transpired a while ago.

"That's what the friends are for, right?" I mockingly parrot my own words. JJ scoffs.

"I don't doubt your loyalty to Spence. But don't you think it's too much? I mean, you cover him in all your capacities, and he's not taking any responsibility for his actions," she proffers. Emily nods in agreement.

"He has been through a lot. He's lost and needs help," I argue, sipping my vodka.

"We know that. But it's time Spencer takes the reign of his life. Also, it's time you focus on your own," Emily says, pointing her index finger at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask defensively.

And there are again the pity looks.

"We know you have feelings for him. That's more than friendship, we can tell. But it's not going anywhere, and you know it. When was the last time you dated, uh?" JJ questions. Her words stab me right in my chest. I let out a deep sigh.

"Exactly." Emily seconds. "You need to think about what's healthy for you. That doesn't mean you don't care about Spencer, but he must figure it out himself."

As a cue, I turn to look at the bar direction. Spencer wraps his arm around a girl's waist, his lips ghosting her ear, whispering God knows what but making the girl giggle.

JJ and Emily are right. I’m not genuinely helping him. It is just the faint hope that I could make him see me. Really see me.

After another drink with the girls, I decide to go home.

And I decide it is time to let him go.

But honestly speaking, what does that mean? It's not that feelings can disappear overnight. It's not that one day you wake up and say, "That's enough." At the end of the day - feelings aside - Spencer is my friend, and he trusts me even in his darkest moments. But the girls are right when they say friendship goes both ways. It doesn't work if he can't respect my boundaries.

So I went over my limits. What am I willing to tolerate, and what am I not? In the first place, I won’t cover him up in lies in front of the team anymore. If he has to take a scolding from Emily for being irresponsible, so be it. Second, I won’t put up with being the go-to person for any of his mess with women. And finally, I’m not going to justify his behavior to anyone. If anyone has a problem with him, they should tell him directly. I would no longer be an interlocutor between Spencer Reid and the rest of the world.

It didn’t pass long before those limits were tested again.

Some days after what happened at the bar, I arrived at the BAU for a new case. We scheduled the meeting in the conference room at 9:00.

It’s 9:05, and Spencer still has yet to arrive. As expected, everyone is asking me what happened to Reid. I shrug. At the same time, Spencer texts me, saying he is running late and asking me to say he had a problem on the subway. I know it isn’t true, so I pretend I never got the message. That brought him explaining himself to Emily when he arrived all disheveled at 9:30.

Things like that keep happening. Spencer keeps showing up late for work and lies about the reasons. Sometimes he is nowhere to see in the bullpen, only to reappear with his hair untamed and his shirt partially untucked. Those times, opposite to the previous ones, I don’t tell him to fix himself.

Not to mention the number of calls and texts he has sent me in unholy hours to ask me what he should do about his new conquers. Calls and texts I start to ignore. That last behavior is what he resented the most, I could tell.

One morning he shows up at the conference room where I’m checking a stack of files scattered over the table. The rest of the team minding their own business downstairs.

"Are you mad at me?" He bluntly asks. I raise an eyebrow, looking at him from my manila folder.

"No. I'm not,” I reply, unbothered. But if I know Spencer enough, he will not be satisfied with my answer.

"Yes, you are. You have been avoiding me. Last night I called you, and you didn't answer."

He is the one mad at me. Or at least upset. Which one was it? It doesn’t matter; he feels ignored, and he hates it.

"I was sleeping,” I answer with the same flat tone. That spurs more of his anger.

"That's not true. You don't hit the pillow before 1 am!"

Well, Spencer does pay attention, at least for that kind of thing. Months ago, I would have felt flattered. Now? It feels void and just to his service.

"Maybe last night I did."

Spencer scoffs this time.

"I don't think so. I know you (Y/N),” he defies. Maybe he thought I would bite the bullet and apologize for ignoring him.

"Whatever. Why you called me, anyway? Did you want to tell me how your new girl screamed your name in bed?" I deadpan.

Spencer’s eyes widened.

"What?! No! I- I just,” he pauses. “I just wanted to talk to you!"

“Why?” I interject.

I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of the real reasons why Spencer needs me.

His face flushes, thinking of his following words.

“I - uh. We haven’t talked in a long time. Our last movie night was a month ago. And you haven’t called me either. I miss you,” he mumbles.

I huff a laugh. Does he really think I would believe that?

“You see me every day here, Reid,” I say with the same monotonous tone, returning my gaze to the file I’m reading.

Reid. That should have been the sign he searches for, even if his mind isn’t clear enough to put two and two together.

He scoots closer, softly bending down the file in my hands.

“(Y/N), hey. Please, talk to me. Don’t let me in the dark,” he pleads. I turn my gaze away from him. The sadness and the anger boil inside. It’s exhausting.

“I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I want to fix it. Tell me what it is,” Spencer insists, this time with a hand over mine.

I glance at him in silence. Could a look be enough to convey everything stuck in my chest? Years ago, it could have worked with Spencer. The friendship we had back then was stronger enough to make that happen. Just a look, and each one knew what the other was thinking. Now it is just noise that could or not mean something.

How he looks at me now, lost in the signs I‘m giving him and eager for me to say something, tells me what I already know. I wonder if I would let it out this time or bottle it up again.

“I’m just tired, you know?”

My mouth works on its own accord. My brain isn’t able to stop it. Spencer examines my face looking for something to anticipate what could be coming. His clueless is irritating.

“I’m tired of hoping you can realize how badly you hurt yourself—and waiting for you to do something about it,” I blurt, knowing this is not what he wants to hear.

“What do you mean?” He asks, leaning back in a defensive mode.

“You know exactly what I mean. You are failing yourself, Spencer. You still can’t stand your ground. And you keep ignoring it!”

I punctuate my statement by shoving the file over the table. Spencer gets startled by my action.

“If you are talking about what happened the other night in the bar. It doesn't -” He explains, but I cut him off.

“No! It's everything! Can’t you see it? It's the way you lie to your teammates, the way you do your job, like it doesn't matter to you. The way you turn everything into something meaningless. The relationships you have, your job, your friends. Everything!”

Spencer’s face steels. I know he doesn't like being called out. He hates that. But I wouldn’t spare him the trouble this time.

“You are being unfair (Y/N),” he says with gritted teeth, standing to put some distance from me.

“Am I? Oh, no. If something I’m sure of is the unfairness doesn't fall on me.”

I spit back, standing as well to show him I wouldn’t back off. After running his hands through his hair, he turns to me. He has a look of betrayal on him.

Betrayal? The audacity of this man.

"Yes! You are! You, better than anyone, know it hasn't been easy for me! Life - life in Millburn changed me, and it has been so difficult to settle it down. You know that! Those were the worst three months of my life!"

Millburn. It was like a prohibited word for us. He didn't like to say it or hear it from me.

"So that gives you the right to ruin the good things in your life, uh? Because you are a lost soul in this world?” I try to reason, but that only gives me a burlesque laugh from him.

"And what if it were so? It's not like I have much to lose, right?"

And there it is—the broken man. The guy who still believes no one loves him and he doesn't deserve to be loved. All the years of work to put those walls down returned to zero after he got imprisoned.

"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe your self-destructive behavior only affects you? I didn't think you were so selfish, Spencer."

Although I know the answer, I ask nonetheless. And even though I know that selfishness isn’t something Spencer deliberately wants, maybe voicing it could help me to bring him back.

“Selfish? Says the person I trusted with my life, and now it’s throwing everything back to me?”

Or not.

“Stop doing that! Stop assuming everyone is attacking you! If we need to blame someone, of course, we can blame Cat Adams. But now she’s dead, Spencer! And what about you? For God’s sake! You had endured so much in your life, and now you’re going to let that bitch keep destroying you from the grave?”

My voice gets hoarse from the yelling, and for the first time during this conversation, Spencer doesn't spit something back immediately.

The hurt expression on his face morphs into defeat. He doesn't want to fight back. He doesn’t want to get out of the hole.

We keep looking at each other silently, daring the other to say anything.

Spencer tries to mask his glassy eyes, breaking eye contact and looking at the ceiling. And seeing him like this spurs the desire to run and hug him, holding him. But I can’t. I swore not to back down.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). But this is who I am now,” he mumbles after a few minutes.

I exhale sharply. Why is it so difficult for him to understand?

“Keep telling yourself that, but deep down, you know it's not true,” I argue, but with no energy to keep yelling. But it's like fuel to Spencer’s anger.

“Why do you care anyway? Is it because you are my friend?” He mockingly air quotes the word ‘friend.’ “Well, it seems my friendship doesn't satisfy you anymore, does it?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes.

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not? You are not comfortable with the person I am. You don't want my company anymore. You don’t trust me. It's very clear to me.”

I need to get out of here before I say something I may regret or Spencer does it burying any chance of us being okay again.

“Where are you going? Doesn’t feel okay hearing the truth, (Y/N)?”

“You are angry, and we can’t keep talking like this,” I mumbled, trying to pass to the exit door.

“Are you chicken out now? That's how you understand loyalty?” Spencer calls me out this time. He’s testing me, and I can’t take it anymore.

“Don’t question my loyalty. If anything, loyalty is what you have been getting from me since always! Don’t you dare to doubt it!”

My voice is going to break at any minute, and I don’t know what to do to push away this suffocating feeling.

”Let me have suspicions about that,” he scoffs, and I want to cry.

How unfair. How painful.

“Oh no, no, no. Not that. You know what? I’m done. Fuck you, Spencer! Fuck you and your fucking cluelessness and self-loathing. I have been by your side in thick and thin. I have given you everything!”

I bet my screaming is being heard throughout the entire floor right now, but I don’t fucking care. I’m not going to stop right now. “God! Even I would have died for you! But you don’t deserve anything of it. You don’t deserve my loyalty and much less my love.”

I notice how Spencer’s eyes widen with my last sentence.

“Your what,” he barely mumbles.

The secret is out. But it's too late. I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath.

“Yes. You heard right. I said, ‘My love.’ Because I fucking love you. I have been in love with you for ages! But I chose our friendship above all, and what I got? A friend who can’t see beyond his shit. Hell, everyone’s right. I deserve better!”

I can’t stop the tears from springing, and I hate myself for not being stronger to endure this.

“(Y/N)… why you didn't tell me?”

He's being cautious and slowly tries to approach, reaching for my hand.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“(Y/N),” he tries again. “We can talk about this, please.”

I hate this. I don't want his pity. Honestly, I don't want anything at all. I thought saying the truth would help me to lift a weight from my shoulders. Now I just want to run anywhere in the world where nobody knows me. I’m sick, and being by his side, in any capacity, would no do better to me.

“No. We can’t. Too little too late, Spencer. I’m done. I really hope you can find whatever you're looking for. I hope you do. You deserve to be happy. And so do I. Take care, okay? And I’m sorry for lying to you. I told you I’ll always be by your side, but I can’t. Not like this.”

I look at him for the last time, patting his shoulder and giving him a sad smile. He doesn't say anything; he only stands there, following my steps with his gaze until I reach the door and shut it behind me.

——————

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