#I'm neurodivergent but not autistic but every so often one of my autistic friends finds some fan works that just...

[neon-moon-beam]

Excuse me, Ingo and Emmet are not "sad train men". They're actually very positive, wholesome, and supportive of everyone they meet. Not sure who needs to hear this or needs to interact with the source material or even just log off and touch some grass, but there it is.

If your first thought about Ingo and Emmet is "how sad can I make the sad train blorbos", you need to realize you either don't know how they actually are as characters, especially if you've only been following fandom interpretations, or else maybe you're just willfully ignoring the actual characterization, in which case you're treating them as though they're your personal OCs which can be alienating to other fans who want to see actual Submas. There's nothing wrong with making an OC if you don't want Ingo and Emmet to be themselves! If the characters are really starting to only be Ingo and Emmet in name and appearance only, you may want to really consider this route (yes, even if they're in an alternate universe).

If your first thought about Ingo and Emmet is "how unhinged can I make the sad train blorbos", you've got some ableist ideas about two autistic-coded characters, and you need to educate yourself and think about how your fan interpretations and headcanons might impact others. Fans of Submas tend to be neurodivergent, and they're especially popular with autistic people. Think about how painting Ingo and Emmet's autistic traits as "unhinged", "feral", "scary", or even singling them out as being not human (not talking about Pokemon Mystery Dungeon aus, or aus where everyone is a Pokemon, etc) because of their autistic traits is going to make autistic people feel. Seriously, think critically about it for two seconds. If you need a hint, the ableism is a huge reason many people have left the fandom, or refuse to engage with it.

[nekropsii]

asking you this since you’re the only person who understands mituna in the entire fandom in my perception of the hs fandom

is it okay to headcanon mituna as autistic? sorry if you get this type of ask a lot/have already answered this type of ask

Instead of answering this question, I will give some food for thought: Mituna has a TBI. He has Brain Damage. This is a core element of his character. Probably the biggest one. In fact, it's so important to him that it's an injury that has remained with him in death. His TBI is a huge, huge part of what makes him... Well, him. It's why he's interesting.

So... Why is a need felt to also declare him as Autistic? Assuming this is a projection thing, since it tends to be most of the time - if you relate to him for his already canonical Neurodivergency, which is Brain Damage, why does one need to give him Autism as well?

Oftentimes when people headcanon him as Autistic, they tend to minimize or even outright erase his TBI. Oftentimes, people say he's Autistic as the reason he's canon Neurodivergent representation... Even though he's shown no real signs of it, but instead is fully written as a character with a Frontal Lobe Injury, and is constantly stated to have Brain Damage.

TBIs and other Neurodivergencies are often seen as less palatable than Autism. On Tumblr especially, it's far more "acceptable" to be Autistic or ADHD or headcanon a character as such than it is to have Brain Damage or literally any other Neurodivergency or acknowledge that a character is written with those. Autism and ADHD are seen as cute and relatable - even though they're very complex and at times devastating disabilities that do have the potential to seriously fuck up your livelihood, much like Depression and Anxiety, and I'm saying this as someone who has and struggles with all 4 - and are often used to erase the presence of other Neurodivergencies. Hell, it's to the point where people use "Neurodivergency" as a synonym for ADHD and Autism.

Again, I'm not going to answer this question for you. I think there's a way someone could potentially make the narrative of Mituna having Autism prior to the TBI compelling - the TBI has essentially stripped him of his ability to mask, after all, so one could make it be a situation where some of these symptoms are ones he already had, but is only just now really getting shit for because he's no longer able to hide it, and part of that tragedy is knowing that had he never been good at masking, his "friends" would have never accepted him. You could get some interesting questions about that. Was the repression worth it? Would it have been better if he'd just been himself the whole time? I think it's extremely valuable to ask yourself why you see any character as any specific minority - necessary, even - and how that affects not only the character's writing in its original text, but also your relationship with said character. Consider optics. Consider the way in which this character is meant to function in the source material. What purpose do they serve, and what is the driving force behind this character? Is Occam's Razor applicable? Are there other explanations as to why they are the way they are? Perhaps ones that are more succinct, and cover more ground?

Yesterday, I watched a film that has provoked a response in Tumblr that I think is applicable. I Saw The TV Glow. It's a film about a Trans Girl who never finds the strength to accept herself or come out. It's an incredibly gut-wrenching watch. It made me cry several times, and there are parts that made me feel a deep pain in my chest. I sat through 95% of the film with a pit in my stomach. I had to lay on the floor in the dark for a while after I finished. There's a scene where the main character is asked whether she likes girls or boys. She says she thinks she likes TV shows, and elaborates by saying that every time she tries to think about that kind of thing, it feels like someone's cutting her open and shoveling out her insides until there's nothing left. Not that there was anything in there to start with, of course - she says she knows there isn't, but she's too scared to look for herself and see.

That scene was about how Gender Dysphoria can completely disrupt your sexuality and repulse you from the thought of that level of connection with others, because it is, in essence, a deep disturbance with the nature of who you are as a person. Many people who are Asexual, or Aromantic, or both, related to that scene because it, on the surface, depicts discomfort with romance and sexuality. What they failed to understand by chalking it up to its own sexuality, is the fact that that scene wasn't depicting a Sex-Repulsed Asexual, or a Romance-Repulsed Aromantic, it was depicting a Trans Girl who is at such deep odds with herself and her identity that she cannot grapple with the concept of loving or being loved.

What, functionally, is the purpose of slapping an extraneous label onto a character that is meant to depict a certain thing? What is the purpose of assigning the label of "Autistic" to a character meant to depict the tragedy of a loss of support after gaining a disability, or "Aromantic" or "Asexual" to a character meant to depict a deep internal struggle with unresolved Gender Dysphoria?

Ask yourself these questions, and carry on from there. See where your mind takes you.

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for Autistic Students

I managed to get really good grades both at school and university, but it involved a LOT of emotional anguish. I had this reputation of being really smart and nerdy, but the truth was I had to put in an almost inhumane amount of effort in order to sustain my grades. I lost perspective and sacrificed other aspects of my life - such as building friendships and having experiences - that I'm still catching up with, now.

If I had to do it all again, knowing I'm autistic, there are definitely some things I would change that would have made my life as a student so much more enjoyable. Read on to learn from my mistakes!

Spend time going over the things you aren't so sure on - I wasted a lot of time reading over and over stuff that I could recite off by heart, but to be honest I don't think it made one iota of difference to my grades. I tended to avoid the scary stuff I was struggling with, but with hindsight this would have been a much more productive use of my time. Identify the areas you know you are weaker in, and focus on plugging those gaps in your knowledge rather than aimlessly wading through course materials.

Look after yourself - it's all too easy when you're looking to get good grades to totally overwork yourself. But this can actually be counterproductive as when you are tired/stressed you are actually more likely to make mistakes and underperform. Try making a studying timetable for yourself, and make sure it has a cut off point so you know when to stop. Trust me - grades are not worth burning yourself out over.

Give yourself plenty of time to complete assignments/study for tests and exams - it's very common to hear other people on your course bragging about how the started a essay 2 hours before the deadline and still got an A, but don't listen to them. More than likely they're lying or at least exaggerating, but they are also NOT you. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For most autistic people - even those with executive function issues who are prone to procrastination - having to do things last minute can lead to overwhelm and burnout. A neurotypical person may be able to handle this approach, but for neurodivergent people this strategy could lead to a fallout period where you would need to recover. Starting ahead of time will allow you to pace yourself and ensure you have the chance to ask for help or clarification if necessary.

Try and make a few friends in every class - socialising often doesn't come easy to autistic people, but I promise going to class is much more bearable if you have a least one friendly face to look forward to seeing. Statistically speaking there is a really good chance there is someone else who is neurodivergent, and you likely can relate to each other's experiences more than a neurotypical person's. It also gives you people to arrange to hang out with outside of class, which is how friendships are built and sustained. Just a simple 'good morning' or complimenting someone on their clothes is enough to begin building a rapport.

Pay attention to your sensory needs - it's much easier to concentrate and take in information if you are comfortable. If the sun is in your eyes or if your desk is wobbly, ask if you can switch seats. If having a stim toy in your hand helps you concentrate, do what you need to do to get permisson to use one. Advocating for yourself can be scary, but it makes such a difference to your experience.

Did you find my tips helpful? Let me know!

[nahualnextdoor]

Character Analysis for Shitpost's Sake (long post; tw suicide discussion):

A funny haha, a whimsy silly image. Something I did in like 10 minutes...

Well behind the scenes I spent an entire night dissecting every episode and book paragraph in my head just to see what box fits what character (I take my silly guys very seriously and my shitposts should represent their characterizations accurately otherwise I'll kill myself).

So, here we go.

Active suicide risk: (literally anyone except Cleo and Six)

-Resus: Pretty obvious and intuitive in my opinion. Our favorite trans allegory emo boy that literally sleeps in a coffin. Hates pretty much every aspect of his life, thinks he's a disappointment to his family simply for existing (and sadly kinda is), and is pretty much fine with death as a whole (most of his friends already went trough it, after all).

-Luke: This one was also pretty obvious in my opinion. While not as clear cut or active as Resus, there was this one time where he decided to banish himself to the Underlands, no hesitation, as soon as he found out (or rather was made to believe) he attacked his parent. He's very often ostracizing himself over his lycanthropy hurting those around him, and for the major part of the book series he believed himself to be a burden for his parents. (Also he has like. Zero sense of self-preservation, at least in the tv show).

-Luella: Oh boy. Where do I begin with you girl. Just her living situation alone is sad enough, add in her attachment issues, her lack of control over her emotions, her crush on a guy that treats her... horribly, and her lack of any meaningful friendship in her life up until she became bffs with Cleo in s2. Honestly I'm just glad that by the end of s2 she's mostly content with her life the way it is, but still... at least on the episodes before she got her shit together, I'd say she's kinda worrying.

-Dixon: Yeah this guy's life is just hell lol. I'm not really getting any suicidal vibes out of him, but it is more than plausible.

10/10:

-Cleo: She's just... I love her 🙏🙏 Badass, one of the most interesting characters of the tv show in my opinion, autistic as fuck (they all are, but she's the one I relate to the most), curses the entire town in order to fix her problems and is pretty much happy despite being in an eternal sisyphean cycle.

Needs to retake the am I gay quiz:

-Resus: self explanatory I think. He really needs to get his shit together because I just cannot tolerate when he's all over Luella "oh luella I need your help with this spell and also brain drain dumped me in a wet cardboard box and killed my grandma 🥺🥺" and then going "well thanks for nothing, fuck u and ur stupid useless magic, also even tho we're nothing I will get all possessive over u at the slightest possibility of u liking Luke hey can we kiss to save the world btw" She deserves so much better than him omg. Boy you're queer!!! Leave her alone and just stay with the werewolf!!!

Cannibalised first in plane crash scenario:

-Resus: I just thought this was funny lol

Adderal prescription ASAP:

-Luke: Also pretty self explanatory. Lycantrophy is the magical equivalent of autism and adhd in this universe, I don't make the rules. Both in the books and in the show he's shown having a hard time focusing on class, finding it easier to just focus on his videogames. He spends hours playing on his console, to the point of ignoring his baisc needs, and is pretty hyperactive in my opinion, at least in the show. Really I wish they'd bring back the idea of Eeafa (or maybe even Luella) figuring out a potion or spell to help him manage his wild side, wich, to me at least, is not only his wolf self, but all of his neurodivergent tendencies in general (basically it would be magical meds that makes you have more control over the wolf form on top helping you study).

Missing person:

-Pretty much all the other kids from the books but I choose Kian because he's kinda the one that has the most relevance and the only one with an available image on the internet that is not a 3 pixels wide scan on the Internet Archive (still love them tho). He could potentially be on active suicide risk once he gets old enough to understand what happened to his parents tho, but thinking about that for more than 5 seconds makes me cry so I prefer not to.

And that is basically it! Thank you for listening to my ramblings and analysis of these silly little guys that keep rotating on my head like rotisserie chicken ballerinas. Next will probably be my still pending character analysis for why I assigned the slimes I did on my slime rancher post.

[acinongalli]

Haiii, welcome to my blog! This is where the cutest enby fox loser in the world goes hog wild and does whatever they wants :3

check back every once and a while, this post gets updated :3

Some quick info about me:

•I'm 18 years old

•I'm bisexual/pansexual, and enby/fluid

•I'm polyamorous

•I'm part of a system (DID)

•I consider myself a very accepting, loving person to anyone who spends time with me.

•I am autistic, and do struggle with depression, self-doubt, and anxiety.

My blog has no set purpose, so expect anything to appear on here, from cute cartoon discussion, to hornyposts, to social issues, to roleplay, and everything in-between. Im truly an angel fallen to extreme lust. I'll try to tag as best as I can, but noone is perfect. I do not support racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-poly talk, or religious extremists. Try it on me and you'll feel pure enby fox fury.

Asks are always welcome, though sending hate will result in being ignored and I may turn off anon asks for a while. Both sfw and nsfw asks are encouraged, and I'll answer most anything. Please talk to me, I beg you.

If you want to talk with other parts of my system, we are happy to meet you. Two of us have their own blogs, @ashe-is-a-fox and @rae-the-succubus. They dont post as often as I do, but they are active nonetheless. The rest of the system will  talk through any of the 3 accounts, we just are the main ones.

2 of us are currently dating the amazing @angelwithmajordaddyissues , check their blog out sometime! I personally am also dating @thnx-cul8ter @lavender-flowergarden and @space-rocc ! They are so amazing and you should go see their blogs!

I also share a blog with some of my bestest friends, over at @the-mountain-cabin! We have lots of fun there. If you want any of my other socials, dont be afraid to ask. My DMs are always open to people :3.

Also find me on Mastodon, Bluesky, and Discord .galli2.

With that, I think I've said everything I wanted to, so see you around!

.......

also have a nsfw blog @galli-is-fucking-horny... too scared to put it in main post though.. feel free to fuck me there..

Who's ready for a lot of pictures in a slideshow?!

^a post with info on my neurodivergency^

you may visualize me like this, my darlings.. ehe..

here's my pronouns page, if you really want to know me.

ask game in progress.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi there, and thanks for giving me a lifetime of validation and confidence in my neurotype to keep pushing through it all.

I'm a writer. I always have been. I love writing, and it's the only thing I consider myself to be legitimately good at. Linguistics is one of my special interests. I love the flow of a grammatically correct English sentence.

Anyway, I have major executive function issues. Specifically with starting tasks. So I already find it hard to sit down and write. But I find it even harder to continue the progress I make in anything. After enough minimal effort, my brain decides it hates this activity and everything related to it, and inside a single hour I'll go from obsessing over a creative task to being indifferent or repulsed by it. But the *feeling* of knowing I had just been so passionate about it a second ago remains. I end up putting myself into a depressive episode every time I try to be creative in any regard.

I've played D&D with my friend group for years, and I've wanted to run my own campaign for a while. But not only does my inability to start completely destroy my progress in worldbuilding and planning, but I can't organize my thoughts at all. I've tried mindmapping and charting and notebooks and binders. When I'm trying to organize my campaign in any way, I revert into this dramatically incapable person. My brain just instantly fogs and clouds, and I don't know how to visually plot my system and lore that helps me in any actual way. But I *love* worldbuilding with a passion. Even when I don't want to engage in it, I am still absolutely fascinated at creating a world from my own brain. Especially one my friends can play in. Yet in this moment, I can't mentally be bothered to do any of it, and I'm subsequently depressed.

I never saw myself ADHD since I aligned with autism so intensely. I still don't find myself relating to ADHD very often. It's also hard enough for me to accept I'm autistic because I feel like an imposter every other hour. My question for you is, how do I overcome this? How do I overcome myself? How can I enjoy an activity I literally love, and continue to enjoy it? These are loaded questions, and of course you'd have to know me personally to answer this the right way. But I just want to know if there's anything I can do about myself. How do I ignite a flame in myself that doesn't burn out in 10 minutes? Moreover, are there any tools available online that help autistic or ADHD or just neurodivergent people focus, plot, plan, and organize in a very visual way? My latest attempt was to find an AI assistant that I can verbally speak with or text, who would do the plotting for me, and ask the questions for me, and I'd just insert my thoughts and ideas. I can't find what I'm looking for. It all feels so hopeless. I can't even amount to a personal desire. I feel this has to do more with depression than anything else, but I'm new to the neurodivergent community at large, as I've mostly dealt with my struggles on my own accord, and learned through books. Maybe there's a billion tools and strategies I've never heard of before. My mind was blown 80 trillion times since downloading Tumblr regarding my mental health, so it's worth asking a profound community member like yourself.

Sorry for the essay, I'm incapable of shortening my thoughts. If I don't type it all out the way I see it in my head, it'll be an itch I can't scratch for the rest of the day. If you do have any advice or recommendations, I would be so grateful. But I'm grateful for your engagement with the community already. You're just awesome.

Thanks for the empowerment and understanding you give me every time I open this app. You're changing people's lives, and that's real.

Cheers ❤️

Hi there,

This was somewhat hard to digest, but I’ll do my best to help.

I couldn’t find much. But I did find one article that lists some ways that might help with executive dysfunction and writing. This excerpt is going to be long, so I apologize in advance:

Executive dysfunction is a term used to describe weaknesses in the cognitive process that organizes thoughts and activities, prioritizes tasks, manages time efficiently, and makes decisions. It’s common in certain disorders, such as Depression, ADHD, and autism. Executive function skills are used to establish structures and strategies and to determine the actions required to move a project forward. So for those of us who struggle with executive dysfunction, dedicating ourselves to a project could get quite overwhelming. Here are some little tips and tricks I’ve compiled throughout my experience.

How to start:

Task initiation is one of the biggest struggles when dealing with executive dysfunction. This is especially hard with writing, since you need time to muster the energy needed to jump into your story. Here are some tips:

1. Start a 1-3 minute timer and force yourself to write something, anything, before it ends. The words that come out don’t matter. You can just write, “I don’t know.” The point is to force yourself into the writing zone.

2. Leave bread crumbs for yourself at the end of each writing session to make picking up where you left off easier. For example, stop in the middle of a sentence or thought, so the next time you write you won’t have to tackle something completely new.  You just have to finish that incomplete thought and continue from there. You could also leave some notes about what happens next, cutting down thinking time in your next session.

3. Try free writing. This is a great way to get those creative juices flowing with minimal effort. Free writing alleviates the pressure of writing something good. Spend a few minutes writing about anything, like your day or a frustrated ramble about your story. It’s like a warm up before your writing session.

How to keep going:

So you’ve started your writing session. How do you keep writing? Most importantly, how do you keep working on your project?  When struggling with executive dysfunction, the regular “set a schedule” approach doesn’t tend to work.

1. Scale down your goal if your big, overarching goal for your project is overwhelming. Try changing your goal to something more manageable and short term. For example, try writing 500 words a day. This might make it less likely for you to lose steam half way through.

2. Try writing sprints if daily goals aren’t working. Instead of hitting a certain word count, you’re setting a timer and writing for its entire duration

3. Don’t feel bad for needing external motivation. Will promising yourself a pizza after you hit your goal motivate you to write? By all means, do so. Maybe you just need a friend to ask you if you’ve written at the end of the day. Find out what motivates you.

4. Find a writing buddy. This can be someone who can sit down and write at the same time to hold you accountable. Or it can be a critique partner that expects you to turn in something by a certain deadline.

5. Try something new. This is one of the best ways to combat how constraining and overwhelming your writing might feel. It’s okay to lose interest in your project for awhile and try something new. Unless you’re racing to meet a deadline, you have no obligation to keep working on a project that isn’t working for you. Setting a project aside doesn’t mean giving up on it. You might only need some time away from it before you are able to finish it.

Trying something new could also mean changing where or how you write. Usually write at home? Try a coffee shop. Do you usually type? Try hand writing. It might or might not work for you. But change could be quite refreshing for your mind.

6. Write whenever you can. Sometimes the urge to write comes while you’re waiting for lunch to heat up, or right before you go to bed. Motivation can be hard to find with executive dysfunction, and designated writing times don’t always work. Have something on hand you can easily pull out to write with to take advantage of these moments. Jotting down a hundred words as you’re waiting for dinner to cool might not seem like much, but it’s still words contributed to your word count.

Some of these tips might work for you. Some might not. Writing successfully is mostly about finding what works and running with it. These are things I found helpful when I embarked on my first novel and I hope it would at least give you some ideas.

The link to the full article will be below:

If that doesn’t help, I did find this Reddit thread that might have some helpful tips.

Reddit Post

I’m sorry that I couldn’t find anyone else or anything visual. Many sources focused on younger children. So it hard to find resources for older teens and adults.

Maybe some of my followers can give some tips/advice?

If you’d like, we can talk personally so I can try to help. I have an associates degree in English if that means anything. Lol.

Anyway, thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

[asexual-society]

CW: mental health, maybe?

So I'm a little confused if these labels contradict each other... Is it possible to be demisexual but also experience hypersexuality/hyperromantic attraction and a strong sex drive once you feel that emotional connection has been made? I don't make friends that easily, and don't really enjoy the idea of casual hookups/short term relationships/one night stands, but I also tend to fall for people I consider true friends quite quickly. Additionally, I have difficulty determining if my attractions are platonic or romantic and more often than not, whenever I start getting close enough to a new trusted friend I begin to develop a sudden intense, romantic infatuation for them that may or may not involve fantasizing about them in a sensually intimate and sometimes sexual way. Would this be classified as Demisexual Hyperromantic? Some kind of Demi-flux or Grey-flux orientation? Is this just a form of neurodivergence (diagnosed autism/ADHD, seeking possible BPD diagnosis) overlapping with demisexuality? Any insight at all would be appreciated.

Hey anon! Yeah, I think it's totally normal for a demisexual person (or any acepec person!) to have a strong sex drive, regardless of whether or not they're in a relationship or even experiencing sexual or romantic attraction. Being hypersexual has nothing to do with orientation, and while some asexual people can find any amount of libido/sex drive they feel to be distressing, this isn't a universal experience (meanwhile, hypersexuality is typically distressing by definition, and may be linked to your neurodivergence (or may not)). I'd actually never heard of 'hypperromantic' as a descriptor before looking it up just now, you learn something new every day. As far as I can gather it's not a recognised medical term like hypersexuality is, although I won't go into my thoughts on it either as a counterpoint to hypersexuality or its common usage here.

As an autistic person you might form close relationships differently to an allistic person, and how you feel within those relationships might also be different, so two things can be true, just like you might find it hard to differentiate between different forms of attraction because of your neurodivergence, or it might be unrelated. Many autistic people feel like their asexuality or aromanticism is closely tied to their autism and many do not (as someone who may be autistic, I personally feel like my asexuality and aromanticism are closely tied to how other autistic people perceive me as autistic, but I've been IDing as aro and ace way longer than I've even considered being autistic so I don't see them as connected at all. A psychologist may disagree, but it's not up to them what or how you feel).

It's fine to have thoughts of an intimate/romantic/sensual/sexual nature like that about people you're close to, regardless of how you actively and consciously feel about them because brains love to test things out like that. To put it simply, if you find you really want to act on those thoughts then that's a good sign it's attraction you're feeling, but if you don't or you think you would but not so much that you're drawn to do it, then it might not be. I sometimes think about kissing my friends, and there are some of my friends I would kiss, for example, but I wouldn't go out of my way to try it, I'm mostly just touch starved.

For demisexual people there's no rule to say how often you feel the strong bond you need for the possibility for sexual attraction to happen, it might be very rare that you feel a strong bond and even rarer to experience attraction following it, or it might happen a lot. If you feel like your demisexuality fluctuates over time and sometimes you feel more ace or allo and at other times you feel more demi, then you could be demiflux if that's a label that feels helpful to you, but if not, you don't have to use it.

Hope this helps anon!

~ mod key

[hickeygender]

something interesting i've noticed in my toy destruction poll is that people have often reblogged saying they're autistic and experienced object personification and so treated their toys with great respect. my younger brother is autistic, and he dabbled in destruction, but i think he ended up developing more attachment and respect for his toys. that said, to my knowledge he never personified them. i'm not autistic myself but i am neurodivergent, and i find it intriguing that i, while typically kind towards my toys (ESPECIALLY the expensive ones which i did personify to a degree), had moments of absolute maliciousness towards my little plastic guys. not sure if that's due to undiagnosed early onset bipolar disorder, childhood angst, a kid getting bored and experimenting, or some combination of the three. i think the differing childhood play experiences across the neurodivergent community even within the same family, like within mine, are kinda cool.

something else fascinating to me is that so many people have reblogged saying they either only dabbled in toy destruction or refrained from it altogether, but leaned in HARD to the psychological torture of their toys. i ALSO did this a lot, like plotting out infidelity, relationship drama, tragic deaths, and a lot of bullying, cruelty, and conflict all around. i didn't include it in the poll because i thought it was pretty universal. that wasn't just due to my personal play methods - every child i'd ever played with had a great sense of tragedy and a flair for the macabre. after i grew out of playing with toys, i still noticed my friend's younger siblings acting out grisly car crashes and violent duels and housefires and the like. i'd be INCREDIBLY interested if anyone out there was more soft hearted and less prone to extreme dramatics in their play scenarios. i occasionally had my toys like. go to the store or adopt a pet or something equally sweet, but my usual plotlines were a lot more theatrical.

[jazzstarrlight]

My Playable Characters Shipping List

So many characters in genshin impact, so taking screenshots of a wiki character list, I edited them together to make a shipping chart! You're welcome to use it how ever you want

_______________________________________

My Top 10 In Order:

1. Itto x Gorou -

The first Genshin Ship in my collection and still number one. Itto is always the first to fall in my ship and THE definition of golden retriever energy. When Gorou begins to notice his attention on him more often, he gets flustered and slowly falls for him back. Precious wholesome warriors, making a great team and greater lovers.

2. Cyno x Tighnari -

2nd place mostly cause of canon team-up and fanart. Also been debating on which one I'd be good at cosplaying if only I had the money (leaning toward Cyno.) Cyno is the first to fall and even while Tighnari cringes at his jokes, we all know he gives that clear "you're lucky I love you" face. I dream of a relationship like theirs.

3. Kaveh x Alhaitam -

Saw it once or twice on my Twitter feed until it turned into nothing but Kavetham and Cynari, and I eventually began to obsess. Alhaitham surprisingly falls first but can't express it properly, like a neurodivergent with alexithymia. Kaveh slowly shifts his thoughts of Alhaitham from "can't believe I put up with that guy"  to "can't believe I'm in love with that guy". I think the autistic introvert -&- depressed extrovert angle may make for some interestingly dramatic angst. Good angst is fun to write. Plus, I'm on the spectrum and I can confirm that reading emotions (even our own) is either hard or near impossible.

4. Ayaka x Lumine -

The traveler I went with in my game is Lumine and I fell for Ayaka hard when we hung out at a festival before Lumine is made an enemy of the shogunate. Clearly, in the game, Ayaka falls in love first; but I also made an OC named Yuna Ren who fell for Ayaka as a child. I know it's cringe but... It's Ayaka-chan! I can admit I'm a bit of a simp for her.

5. Bennett x Razor -

When I found out they were friends, it was cool, but I saw something more building. Razor falls first, though doesn't understand it. Bennett enjoys having a more permanent team member and grows closer every day. They're super cute little twinks.

6. Ningguang x Beidou -

Two boss girls both dom energy however with good communication it works. Also whenever I feel like I ship too many dudes, I look at hot-I mean-pretty girls with chemistry. (Honestly, I'm surprised with how many mlm ships I have.) Ningquang falls first and... I may have an idea for an erotica oneshot. Stay tuned.

7. Xiao x Aether -

Mainly cause of fanart and if Lumine has Ayaka, the twin bro deserves a lil something special too. Xiao falls first. I mean- c'mon. That guy shows up within a second of calling his name like a genie.

8. Albedo x Sucrose -

Such a sweet and gentle intelligent pair. Sucrose falls for Albedo, and I can see Sucrose being his personal art model. If it was possible, I'd most likely cosplay as albedo (since him and HatGuy are the closest things I find to canon enby's in the game and not much a fan of the wanderer except his skill.)

9. Kazuha x Heizou -

Heizou's voicelines about Kazuha are really intresting. He obviously falls first and makes complex plans to hang out with him. They look very cute together.

10. Zingqui x Chongyun -

Sometimes when 2 characters just stand side-to-side in canon and if you see enough fanart, that's enough to ship two characters. Xingqiu falls first for the exorcist. I also think the combos of blue between the two is pretty nice.

[evelhak]

I've thought about this often, and I think it's because most people who have been excluded by the mainstream society still initially want to find people who are similar to them. Which is absolutely fine, most people do need someone who understands because they are similar themselves. And neurodivergent people are still a very diverse group. Even if we are only talking about ADHD and autism (because these people tend to find each other), those things present in people in widely different ways, and there are going to be ways that are more common than others, so pretty naturally people with more common traits are going to form the biggest subgroup. Because these people have been deprived of the mainstream acceptance, and are so relieved and excited they finally have people who share their experiences, they may simply have no brain space to consider the people who technically have the same disorders but present differently. And they may not have that brain space for a long time, especially when attention regulation and impulse control problems are such a big thing.

For example in my case, I'm autistic and I tend to find friends who are autistic or ADHDers or both, but I rarely find someone who presents similarily enough to me that we would really connect around that topic, at least not in those things most people like to bond over.

Having difficulty focusing on one thing for a long time, for example, seems to be the more common difficulty with people I meet, most people seem to have short, very intense interests, and then they have another one in a few weeks or months, while my interests typically last for decades if not my entire life, (if I need to drop something it's not because my interest faded, it's because I simply needed to prioritize other things). It seems to be more common to have a short attention span, and need to switch between a lot of different things in a day, meanwhile I can get overwhelmed if I can't just do one or maybe two things for the whole day. So under-regulation vs. over-regulation of attention is certainly such a dominating trait that it's bound to be incompatible in a lot of ways. And the first one seems to be a lot more common, at least where I've been hanging out.

Same thing with emotional regulation: most people I meet seem to have problems with under-regulation, I have problems with over-regulation. However, this could simply be an illusion created by the fact that the first group talks about it more.

Also impulse control seems to be the more common symptom, meanwhile I have problems with social initiation, so obviously in groups this is going to show as me never getting a word in when other people literally can't stop talking and it's no more their fault than it is mine that my brain needs a tremendous amount of energy to put that one sentence out there in the right moment. And then the moment is gone and most people didn't even hear. : D (It's not as bad in every group or every day, thankfully.) However, it's not like I'm the only one. The bigger the group, the more likely there is at least one other person at least a little like this. We're not necessarily even that rare, just less likely to be in social spaces in the first place because it is so much work.

These are just a couple of the major things that came to mind, there's a lot more, and I'm sure some of these people that I perceive to have a lot more in common because they are louder and more out-going about it, still have differences they just don't have the impulse to voice in that space, and when they go home they still wonder if anyone else experiences some things they haven't talked about.

I just kind of wanted to point out that taking the time to analyse the situation and know your specific traits and how they interact with the traits of others can help understand why you may be unintentionally ignored in some cases. Of course neurodivergent people can be bullies as well as anyone, just that that's not necessarily the case and they may not even realise they are excluding someone from conversations and such.

There's nothing magically, fundamentally different about anyone, nothing that cannot me analysed. And no, you don't "win at autism", like I think some people said, there's nothing intrinsically "special" about having different traits than most people in the room.

I know this is not what OP said, I believe they are genuinely trying to understand but some responses gave me the feeling like people are seeing being "different" as some sort of indication that they are doing things right. It's actually pretty damaging to believe you are in some inexplicable, impossible to define way different from everyone else. I understand how that can give someone comfort when they have been excluded but at some point people need to get past that and start being interested in who other people are, again. That will take away a huge part of your loneliness.

However, I know feeling different wasn't what OP was talking about, they were talking about being excluded, which is completely different. That's why I wanted to give some ideas of how that might not be intentional, and there could be a lot of little and big reasons you can analyse when you pay attention to what's happening in the moment that you are excluded.

Also, because some of us have been excluded our whole lives, we are still predisposed to feel that we are excluded, very quickly, based on things we interpret through our past, and we may withdraw even without noticing it and add to our isolation because it's what we're used to, and a lot of people are going to interpret that energy as "that person would rather be alone".

So, I'm saying... Try to stay present, notice what's happening in the room and in yourself, and try to put those things together and understand how those things interact.

Literally no one is "magically, always" different. You can find the reasons, and you can learn to work with them.

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why

[moonflowerreed]

imagining closeness + the struggle to connect

growing up, I was very shielded from the outside world. my mom did this for very good reasons, she did what any other mother would do if they found out about the abuse my father put me through. every time I wanted to spend time with a friend they and their parents would have to undergo her background check. I'm very lucky, because of how much she cared about me.

I would always have one or two friends. Typical experience of a neurodivergent kid generally. Eventually, in middle school, I started to see that even those few friends would always be closer to each other than I was to them. I would peek into their worlds and learn about how many secrets they shared, how often they texted, so on.

I still experience this. I consistently live wondering if I am only imagining closeness.

Recently I realized I was doing just that. An acquaintance told me about how someone who I had truly opened my heart to spoke about me. I had been excited about this friend because I felt like we were close, like we could share intense and emotional experiences with one another. Turns out, it seems she never really cared much for me at all. At least, not in a sincere way, since I would never have talked poorly of her the way she had of me.

I spent today crying at random intervals. I kept thinking about how I always initiate spending time with other people, how I always initiate our texts and barely even know how to text at all, how I seem to always be the one loving so, so hard. And still, I don't feel close to anyone outside of me. I'm so afraid for when the time my mother passes away will come. She is my only anchor in this world, she is the only person I can run to and trust I can fall back into her arms without falling flat on my back.

I feel as though I am constantly misinterpreting people. I am seeing love where I should be seeing that I am disliked.

I constantly become the subject of gossip among friends. I am always the one people discuss and criticize. Even when I am the one who has been wronged in a situation, no one ever seems to come to my defense.

I wonder if I am even remotely capable of being loved. I wonder if I will ever find true friendship. If I will ever be the favorite, closest friend. Or I wonder if I will continue to live a shell of a life, filled with nothing but endless scrolling and internal dialogues between myself and people I love who do not love me.

I just don't know how to read who loves me. I don't know how to read who is and isn't my friend, even with other autistic people. I feel so alone. I don't know how to connect. I'm afraid I never will connect to anyone else.

I think that the fact I am autistic is beautiful. It makes me think and act in ways that I am proud of. I remember when I read an essay by Simone Weil on solitude, I immediately recognized that she was autistic, and also was stricken with heartbreak when I realized that her philosophies on friendship and the ability to connect were indefinitely influenced by that. Seeing myself in Simone Weil via reading descriptions of her as being stubborn, outspoken, and so authentic that she eventually earned people around her's respect was something beautiful to me. It made me feel understood. But it's also another kind of pain to see someone you admired and relate to struggle with the same things you do.

I don't know how to end this. I just wanted to express this feeling somewhere.

[nori-kakyoin]

Can I ask for your reasoning for headcanoning Kakyoin and Josuke as autistic? I’m really curious :3

ty for asking!!

(i'm gonna explain how these traits are autism traits just in case some people reading are not familiar with autism so sorry if this a little long or it looks like i'm over explaining.)

for kakyoin, i believe his whole backstory is basically every undiagnosed autistics childhood (i know its about stands but still). a lot of autistic kids grow up knowing they are different than other kids and its hard for us to make friends because we can't relate to other kids our age. we prefer to be by ourselves.

i also think that his very polite attitude comes from masking. again, a lot of autistic people learn the "rules" of society when they are growing up so they can try to fit in. as seen in the picture above, his teacher says "he seems rather reserved; too reserved in fact" which happens to so many autistics (and neurodivergents in general). personally, my parents have been told this several times when i was growing up. another part of his extreme politeness is that when he gets comfortable around people he starts to let down the politeness and "unmask". an example of this is when he refused to attack the canteen when polnareff asked him during the n'doul fight. most autistics unmask around people they are comfortable around.

he is very loyal to the crusaders and would do anything including (SPOILERS) dying for them. (SPOILERS OVER) they were the first people he considered his friends. when i have a friend (which is not often lol) i am very loyal to them and would do anything for them as well due to not having a lot. other autistics i've talked to are the same.

he knows a lot of trivial things, mainly world cultures, showed when he told jotaro the tea etiquette in hong kong etc. a lot of autistic people gather facts of things they find interesting (sometimes called a special interest). its possible he has a spinterest in world cultures or just likes learning random facts.

i also think he had a spinterest of video games, we can see his talent and skill in the second d'arby fight. a lot of people can have a strong liking of video games, but kakyoin had literally memorized the entire map.

he also has a thing with cherries, idk how to explain it but thats just autistic af to me

thats basically all i can think of rn for kakyoins autistic traits. i'll make an edit if i think of more.

for josuke thats more of just a fun hc, one of my fave hcs is that all the jojos are autistic so of course he is included. i feel like he is more of an adhder.

i think his hair obsession could be considered an autistic thing. a lot of autistic people are very particular about things, when they like something they LIKE it.

that's basically it!! sorry it took so long, i wanted to be thorough. if you/anyone else is curious about my other hcs just send an ask :)

[aiyexayen]

adding on since "getting tested" is great but for many people (especially neurodivergents) it can often be extremely difficult, expensive, a long process, or just straight up inaccessible temporarily or permanently, depending on Reasons, so:

1) see a therapist if possible. regardless of testing or meds or where you go next, just talking to someone who can potentially help you establish structures or just process through the possibility that you have adhd/[insert neurodivergence here] and don't know what to do next can be so valuable.

2) looking for tips and communities on your social media platform of choice is valid, regardless of whether you have a diagnosis or ever will have a diagnosis! finding people who have similar problems you're dealing with to commiserate is a good way to feel less alone and less like your problems are insurmountable. plus, they often have tips or coping tactics so it can't hurt, right? (diagnosis gatekeeping is a problem in some spaces but afaik it's a dwindling one)

2a) the above also true regardless of whether you even can narrow down what you think is giving you trouble! lots of adhd tips and tricks can help anxiety. lots of autistic coping strategies and stim toys can help adhd and anxiety. ocd is comorbid with so many things. there's a lot of overlap, and really the point isn't just to determine perfectly precisely what the source of your struggles is right out of the gate.

the primary goal is always going to be to find things that help YOU, and ways to help you take care of your brain so your brain can take better care of you, and the life you want to live, and the person you want to be. often, identifying the source of your problems is a central part of this goal. but targeting the symptoms or even just trying things at random can be a really valid first step while you're working on getting a foot in the door with doctors/therapists/etc. i say this from experience.

3) if you're struggling with feeling stagnant or stuck, or it all feels really overwhelming, just try something at random. anything. anything you've heard of. anything you've wished you could do or move around your house but can't because it's not 'for you' or not 'normal.' buy a stim toy or three. get a planner, or a megapack of sticky notes to put all over your house. set alarms on your phone for literally everything. put a rolling stool in your kitchen. keep a little basket of cleaning supplies in every single room. take extra showers. take fewer showers. try doing tasks at different times of day than usual. give yourself a ridiculous wealth of little rewards for every task to boost that dopamine, babey. ask a friend for help. just get yourself to make one attempt, and even if it isnt quite right you can learn something about yourself and then leverage that momentum to try more.

i've fully lost my own plot because i started thinking about leverage the tv show so i'm just going to post this now rip 😔

"i had straight As in high school i don't understand why college is so hard" get tested for adhd. if you were tested as a kid and they didn't diagnose you it was cause your grades were good then but you've since lost the routine and structure in hs that kept you on top of everything so go get retested. go get tested for adhd. go

[the-lincyclopedia]

4, 5, 6, 35 (IK it's not mine; that's okay XD), 43, 48, 50? :))

4. Do you write original stories as well?

Yes! I'm hoping to start draft three of the novel I'm working on soon, and I'm waiting to hear back from an anthology where I submitted a short story. Usually fandom gets my energy for short pieces of writing and original stuff gets my long-form energy; the fact that I'm trying to be a novelist is one of the reasons I don't write multi-chapters anymore.

5. What fanfic of yours should everyone have read?

This question makes it sound like I expect people to already be familiar with my work, which feels kind of arrogant to me. Assuming it's asking what fic I'd like everyone to read . . . see, I still want to let people pick and choose (and avoid stuff they're not going to enjoy or that they might find triggering)!

That said, I think I'm going to rec "To Every Single Kid I Used to Be" here. It has a much higher ratio of comments to hits than most of my other stuff, meaning that fewer people have read it than have read a lot of my other fics, but a lot of the people who read it wanted to let me know how much they liked it. It's a Jack Zimmermann character study, and I highly recommend bringing tissues given that most of the commenters say they cried (but also felt happy/hopeful at the end).

6. What is a fandom you will never write for?

Uh . . . it's hard to know where my obsessions will take me next, and I've definitely eaten my words before when it comes to thinking I wouldn't get into something. I guess I'm pretty confident I won't get into Hannibal? A friend from another fandom got really into Hannibal and never tagged their posts, and eventually I had to unfollow because some of that stuff really turned my stomach.

35. What is your favorite review?

Honestly, your comment was very very sweet! "I'm not even in this fandom" comments are very special and I definitely don't get them often!

That said, probably the most gobsmacked I've ever been by a fic comment was when I got this one (on "To Every Single Kid I Used to Be," actually):

I reread (and finished) the comic after I put it down 5 years ago and I didn't really mean to end up on ao3 but I had to see what kind of things people were writing about Jack being autistic (I refused to believe people just wearnt writing autistic jack of course) and shit. Not only is this an incredibly creative way to tell a story. It's a very fitting way to tell Jacks story specifically. This was absolutly wonderful. I had to take a break in the middle bc of how emotional I was, I still ended up crying. Thank you so much for this. I genuinely don't know if I'll read another OMGCP fic I've read two after this reread (yours being one of them) and they've just been so perfect I don't know that I need to read anything else. This was absolute brilliance. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Like, I genuinely don't know how to be worthy of this.

(Runner up to this comment on "Face the Future with You":

I havent even actually started reading this fic yet but i thought you might enjoy the fact that i'm BIG dumb and thought the name of this series was "Neurodivergent Zombies" and i was looking at the tags like 'it doesn't mention that this is a zombie apocalypse au'

Very excited to read this Zombie-Free fic tho

Just. The pure hilarity.)

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

When I got this one earlier I said insecurity, but now I'm thinking about tropes, and honestly? If you do it well, you can definitely throw the kitchen sink at me: fake dating, only one bed, amnesia, whatever your heart desires. I adore fic tropes (though I read them MUCH more than I write them).

48. What is your favorite sentence that you’ve used in a fanfic?

Oh wow! I have over 400k on AO3, so that's a big question. The first thing that comes to mind is "Caroline’s laugh tinkles like glass breaking, musical and jagged and dangerous," which is from "The Difference an Evening Can Make," one of my Lizzie Bennet Diairies fics. I want to think there are better sentences in some of my other stuff, but honestly I feel like I'm better at the story level than at the sentence level.

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

I'm not really working on anything at the moment. The only thing in my Google Drive that I think has a particularly high chance of getting finished is the sequel to my summer camp AU, and I haven't touched it in a while, so who knows. Anyway, here's a snippet:

They reach the lake and walk out onto the dock. As they lay down next to each other, Jacques says, “Can I ask why you wanted to get out, or is that too personal?” 

Bitty tries to shrug. It doesn’t work very well given that gravity is pressing his shoulders into the wooden slats of the dock. “It’s okay. I’m gay, and I’m not out to my parents. Honestly, I don’t think the camp I’ve worked at would ever have hired me if they’d known. I could handle it when I was in high school--I’d never come out to anyone--but now I’ve moved out and come out to my college friends, and I just didn’t want to go back into the closet for a whole summer.” 

“Yeah. I get that,” Jacques says. “The closet is even less fun to return to than it is to live in the first time.” 

“Oh!” says Bitty. “Are you--I mean, sorry; I shouldn’t ask--” 

Jacques chuckles. “I’m bi. I’m, uh. Honestly I’m more public about it here, with the other staff, than I am at school. My parents have known since I was 17, but . . . well, let’s just say that it’s not exactly rare for American guys who voluntarily learn French to be some variety of queer. Actually, sometimes when I’m here I have to explain that I’m not gay. Which is very much not what it’s like at school.” 

“Where do you go to school?”

“UW-Madison,” Jacques says. “It’s . . . I mean, it would probably be fine if I weren’t on the hockey team. I mean--shit. That sounded terrible. I like that I’m on the hockey team. I like playing hockey. I just. My teammates, sometimes, I guess . . .”

“I get it,” Bitty says. “I play hockey, too.” 

“Really?” Jacques sounds surprised. “But you’re . . .”

“Tiny, I know,” Bitty cuts in, chuckling. “And fast as hell, thank you very much. With very soft hands.” 

Get in on the ask game!

[all-that-tmnt-jazz]

Hi, I was wondering if I possibly get a match up. (If you are unable to or just not taking matchups at the moment that is completely fine. I love reading you posts btw❤)

I'm an 18 years old Irish girl that is openly bisexual and autistic. I'm roughly between 5ft4 and 5ft5 (not quite sure). I have short brown hair that has a blonde streak in the front and my eyes are hazel. I'm a complete animal lover, having 3 dogs and a tortoise that I named after a Transformers character. I love to draw and create ocs for whatever fandom I've become obsessed with at the time, and I have ambitions to become an animator once I reach college. I have what I can only describe as a dumb and slightly childish sense of humor and what I mean by that is I spent a solid five minutes crying with laughter at the word nipplewort (its a type of plant). I have a tendency to switch between not shutting up or just not talking (really depends on my mood or the topic of conversation). I can't to math to save my life but I am decent at english.

My family can be only described a chaotic as all my siblings and I are neurodivergent in one way or another (there's 4 of us) and my dad is on the autism spectrum as well. I do unfortunately suffer from anxiety though it has been getting slightly better (its been a slow process but I'm getting there).

Please excuse any grammar mistakes, I'm typing this on my phone.

Of course you can have a match up, friend! My inbox is always open, and match-ups are never denied around here. Don’t you worry about it :)

Warnings: None.

Incarnation: Bayverse

Extra Info: I could see you being friends with Leo

I match you with…

Donnie!

He loves accents from the British Isles, especially Irish accents

As for forehead kisses, expect a lot of them- he’s so much taller than you, it’s often easier to just kiss your forehead and/or the top of your head

He loves your eyes- especially since they’re hazel like his (even if they’re not the same shade)

He’s a fan of Transformers, too, and since he is a turtle, your Transformer-named tortoise will become his adoptive child

He loves your hair- he always compliments the blonde streak

He likes looking at your drawings if you let him- he always notes and compliments every small detail, because he appreciates and understands the time and effort put into creations

He understands the dumb/childish humor- his sense of humor is just as immature

(He would also cry laughing at nipplewort)

When you’re quiet, he asks how you want him to continue with the situation

If you want him to talk, he can easily start talking about his newest gadget

But if you want him silent? You got it- he finds silence just as easy as a conversation

He totally gets being one of four neuro-divergent children, especially since he is not neuro-typical

(I see him as having OCD or ADD- possibly both. I haven’t added it to the list yet, but check out some headcanons here if you want)

He likes asking you about your OC’s. He gets to look through a window into who you portray yourself as

Also, it’ gets you talking a mile a minute, which he loves

He will always support your struggles with anxiety, especially since he knows what it can do to one’s mind

[whelvenwings]

So I just saw that post on laziness that you reblogged and I was wondering what your thoughts are on laziness vs procrastination? Because I'm going through a particularly bad round of procrastination, but I don't feel like it's borne out of laziness (which to me, is more of "I don't feel like doing this immediately but I will do it soon"). Whereas procrastination is constantly postponing something but never being able to convince my brain to actually do the task (also any tips on tackling this?)

Hello anon!! Yes hello good hi. first of all, ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve been having a hard time with procrastination lately. it’s rough and I hope it eases up for you.

hmmmm yes, so, laziness and procrastination. WELL. hmm. OKAY. these thoughts might be a bit all over the place, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I ramble on a bit. or a lot. probably a lot! I have a lot of thoughts about it all.

so I think I’d start off by saying that I kind of don’t believe in laziness. 

it’s like... for me, laziness is... chronically choosing not to do something that you know you should do, even though that thing is entirely doable for you. that is to say, you have the time for a task, the skills for it, and the ability to motivate yourself to do it - but you regularly choose not to do it.

the key element here is choice. for me, laziness implies not just that a task isn’t done - it implies you could’ve done it, and then you chose not to. but to be able to choose not to do something, that thing has to be completely possible in the first place, right? we wouldn’t say we choose not to fly, we say that we can’t do it, it’s not possible for us. every day that I walk around instead of flying, I’m not being lazy, I’m just not doing something that’s outside my capability. very often (I’d argue always) when we regularly don’t do something, it’s because we cannot do it. it’s not a choice not to do it, because there’s something going on that makes the task impossible in our status quo. I think our ideas about what we can and can’t do, and how serious a barrier it is to not be able to motivate ourselves, are often really skewed by comparison with others. if I lived in a world populated only by birds, maybe I’d think I was procrastinating on flying.

the thing that briefly breaks me out of a procrastination loop is usually panic at the promise of Bad Consequences, i.e. my brain is finally convinced of the importance of the task, but this is a quick one-off fix that doesn’t help the chronic issue, so next time I have to do the same task I’ll follow the same pattern of putting it off until Total Panic Time. and at a certain point, even the Bad Consequences just aren’t enough motivation, and I simply can’t do the task. often I am in distress at not being able to do the task. just as often, the distress is a contributing factor in the task not getting done for longer.

the issue that makes the task not doable for me tends to vary a lot depending on the situation. and I think a lot of people have it the same way, where different issues crop up with different tasks.

- so like sometimes it’s a Success Elsewhere issue. you just can’t believe you can actually decently do the thing you have to do, so you go work at something else that you think you can succeed at. “lazy” to me implies a lack of effort, right? and yet with this one, the things that you do instead of homework or chores or whatever, they often take plenty of effort. like you’re kicking ass at video games, pouring hours into it, because the game makes you feel like you really could be the best!! it’s worth the effort because you get rewards! you’re working, just not at the thing you Should be doing, because you can’t believe working on that thing will lead to any reward/success.

- sometimes it’s a Why Does It Matter issue. sometimes you just aren’t convinced enough that the reward of doing a task is worth the work it’ll take, because you can clearly see that the world is in crisis and it’s exceptionally hard to believe that, say, homework matters when everything feels like it’s on fire.

- sometimes it’s a Fuck You Anyway issue. a lot of people feel alienated by the society we live in, the same society that says hey, you have to do homework, you have to succeed at university, you have to get these grades, you have to be polite, you can’t get angry, you have to respond to emails, you have to do this specific kind of job to make good money or else you won’t have enough. when an authority you don’t trust/a system that is clearly broken tries to shove you into doing something, sometimes you don’t want to bloody do it, you know? sometimes you don’t want to do the small tasks that build up into following a path you don’t believe in.

- sometimes it’s a The World Has Swept Me This Far, What, Are You Saying I Have to Do Things for Myself Now issue. between parents and teachers and societal expectations, a person can go surprisingly far in this world just kind of keeping to the course that other people decide for them. but the map always has edges, right? eventually people stop having a plan for you and you’re quite suddenly expected to know exactly what to do with yourself, and just become a success with the opportunities you’ve been given, but you have no clue whatsoever how to do that. doing nothing in this instance isn’t laziness, it’s not that you want to sit and stagnate - it’s just that you’re doing exactly what you’ve always done: what you’re being guided to do. the only difference is that now you’re not being guided to do anything, so you don’t do anything. you have no idea how to flex the muscles of personal choice; you don’t even know if you have them.

- sometimes it’s a Distraction issue. again, for a huge amount of people, the world is pretty garbage right now. and sometimes you’re clinging on via the happy hormone hit you get when you do something fun, so doing something hard/boring feels like it would push you too far. or sometimes the hard/boring task doesn’t absorb enough of your attention, leaving way too much space for your brain to talk to itself and spiral out of control with bad thoughts and feelings, which it won’t do if you’re watching videos or scrolling on your phone or hanging out with friends etc. given how tailored our brain hormones naturally are to finding the shortest path to happiness, and how relatively easy it is in our culture to find short-term happiness via the internet, I don’t find it surprising that a lot of people just literally cannot engage with doing difficult, boring tasks when there’s a small burst of happiness just one tap away. 

- sometimes it’s an Energy issue. bad mental health is a motivation killer. battling depression or anxiety or another mental health issue just leeches away your reserves for other things. you don’t have the spoons for doing a task, but people with more spoons will look at you not doing it and call you lazy - because for them, the task is doable, and they don’t get that for you it is not.

UGH MAN there’s so much more to it than just these separate scenarios, they all interweave and there are loads more of them, and I want to talk about how being neurodivergent affects these things and how being queer affects it too imo, but I feel like I could go on and on forever so I’ll leave it at that. my point is, I think both procrastination and so-called laziness start when for some reason, a task isn’t doable for you. so the key is figuring out why the task isn’t doable, and changing something, and then hopefully being able to chug away at it!

some things that have helped me are:

- getting little bits of help - when my mum and I hang out, she’ll sometimes just sit and chat to me while I clean around her because it’s doable for me while she’s there. collaboration can ease a lot of procrastination woes for me.

- instead of telling myself “I have to do this”, I tell myself “I deserve to have this done”. so like, instead of “I have to clean the bathroom”, it’s “I deserve to live in a clean house”. instead of “I have to do this essay for homework”, it should have been “I deserve to be able to show the skills I have, and get help from my teachers in the places where I have holes in my understanding”. it’s just like, less focus on the dumb task and more focus on the goal that I’ll achieve by doing the task, with a healthy dose of self-validation on the side.

- if the problem’s really chronic and affecting your life in a pretty major way, maybe it’s time to look into whether there’s an underlying issue with the way your brain focuses? I’m autistic, and I have friends with ADHD, and the way our brains focus/don’t focus on things can be hard to manage at times - but understanding what’s going on inside the old brainspace and reading about how other people handle the same things can be a really good way to start breaking the cycle of procrastination.