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timjohn5 · 5 years

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Freezing Moon - cap 3 Finally Finland FLASHBACK DEAD ON The day after my dream with Øystein I got up early from bed, I had my breakfast and I put on a simple clothes to stay in the same house. I figured I'd fix my bookcase. I walk into the living room and downstairs in front of the bookcase and there I stare at it for minutes before finally sitting on the floor and picking up a book that Øystein had given me days before that happened. The clock above my head was ticking, ticking and it kind of irritated me more than I'd ignore. I take some money bills from my pocket, from my sweatpants, and put them into the book and then return it to its place on the shelf. I'm taken from my daydreams when I see an envelope being placed under the door. I hurry up and pick up the envelope I had known so well these past few months. I open the envelope that in its verse contained my name, my address and a postage stamp from Norway. When I open the letter and smooth the white sheet I see written: "In 1990 a captain is brutally abandoned on an island. He stayed there for awful 3 years. He would rip his deer's neck and drink his blood thirsty until there was nothing more vital in the animal. The captain after these years was saved by chance by fishermen who went to the island behind treasures. Some are lucky. When brought back to his hometown, he was arrested and without conditions of freedom. " That was all there was in the note. I automatically close the letter and place it with envelope inside my bedside table along with the more than 200 letters with these messages. FLASHBACK DEAD OFF Euronymous packed his suitcase while I was lying on his sofa studying for an important test. He throws himself at my side putting the suitcase on the floor and hugs me as he can because of my position. He was properly changed and ready to leave the house, but before he wanted to say goodbye to me. "I'll miss you by the time I'm out." - He says holding me tight. "It's just one night and you'll be back soon." I answer without looking at him. "What will you do until I get back?" "I do not know, maybe I'll be right here." Maybe I'll go for a walk in the woods, see the moon. I like the moon you know it. Or I can do a review of my stories. - I can quit if you want. I can say that I am terribly ill and could not travel. Øystein says giving a kiss to my back. - For Euronymous drama is just one night. Just go before I kick you out! - I'll call you tonight. - OK Alright. - I answer and he makes a warm affection in my ear before getting up and picking up his suitcase. "Have a lot of fun over there." - It's a meeting about things found at sea ... I'm anxious. ... The morning after your trip I go to the library early to find out what is so interesting about the excavations in Finland. I was distracted reading a book about the country that did not notice the arrival of a boy right in front of me who sat down putting his backpack on his side and staring at me. - Finland? - the kid asks smiling at me as I notice the book I was holding. "Yes Finland," I say, smiling, and he seems to know the country. - That's awesome. "Then he gets up and leaves without another word. I thought it strange, but I do not say anything. A day later in Øystein's apartment, he had returned and I was now in his shower while he packed his bags for the trip to Finland. I lathered as he paced back and forth taking things to pack. "I brought things for the trip to Finland. Repellent against the insects that have too much there ... cold clothes because it's very cold there like here. Some food because I do not know what's in the restaurants there. "Euronymous walks into the bathroom and sneezes at the stinking repellent on me and walks back into the living room. - And your meeting like it was love. I say taking the foam out of my eyes. "It was wonderful and everyone was thrilled with me there. He said happy. - Look, look at these things and see if you like something you have here. We can venture out there and do wonders in those two weeks. Do you have hiking boots on the mountain? Øystein looked like a grown child running around with things in his hands. I finish my bath and dry myself by wrapping the towel around my waist and moving to the living room. He was wearing a long black fur coat in his hands. Hiking boots on the mountain? I say and he smoothes his coat. "This is important for us to walk through. It is full of mountains and does not walk to dead tennis. Wear this, my love! I put on the jacket and it was really very warm and soft. He finishes helping me with his coat and looks at me satisfied. As I turn to look in the mirror Øystein grabs me from behind smiling at my ear causing me to shiver with pleasure. - That's for when you're wet. - He says by running his tongue over the earlobe. "He would thank me, I swear." Did you bring dollars and Norwegian money with you? "Yes, everything is stored in my bag." I say kissing his mouth. My tongue asking for passage he granted very willingly. "Did you work hard while I was gone?" - Euronymous asks as he returns to his duties and I use to dry my wet hair. - Yes a little, not much ... I met someone very enthusiastic about Finland, but he disappeared. - Ah !? It is and who would it be? Øystein asks, and then I sense a moment of risk. His, jealous knocked on the door and he could barely disguise. - Someone in the second year. I say, leaning on the kitchen table after I finish drying my hair with the towel. Lauri approached me in the library. That does not bother you, does it? - No way. - He speaks the most I see that bothered him. - It matters ... - Toothpaste, brushes, socks ... -Ah! Opportunity appeared then ... I think we should be honest and sincere with each other. "I'm closer to him than he's bent, still packing the suitcase." I try to kiss his neck and then I'm hit with a punch that hits my mouth. Tombo to the side the sooner I recover, placing the hand on the face with the impact. Øystein might be soft, but he was too strong for his size. I go to him and we fall to the ground rolling on all sides. Soon he can hold me by holding my neck. Euronymous rolls around reversing our positions and realizes the mistake he made. He comes off me, rolling to the side and lying on the cold floor of the house. We spent a few minutes recovering our breath ... "Should I have left you uncertain?" Øystein is breathing deeply, and even as he lies down, he looks at me from the corner of his eye. "I do not think I should have told you my feelings." Sorry he sits down beside me putting his hands on his face and I realize that I had provoked him and resulted in that punch. I try to fondle her on the back, but he pulls my hands away and then gets up from the floor. A day later and I do my last tests in the college, leaving that day of the aggression aside. I struggled to continue to love Øystein Aarseth, but the things between us were cooling down gradually ... What I most wanted to do was to go to Finland with Øystein. I could not, hurt him. ... Finally the big day arrived and after a few hours by plane, we arrived in Finland. We got off the plane and soon a car was waiting for us with a super redhead woman driving and talking some instructions to us. - 2000 km of pure ice on all sides ... Water in the rooms of the ship. The only entrance and exit is by air or sea. This road starts from this side and ends where I'm going to leave them to catch the ship. - The woman said without stopping looking at us in the rearview mirror of the car. "Look how magnificent, a road that leads nowhere, great, Øystein! Euronymous does not answer me I turn to the other side watching the mountains in front of us in the distance covered with ice and the moon wanting to appear in the middle of the mountains. When we get to the hotel the car is parked and we get off getting our bags and entering the luxurious five star hotel. - Good morning gentlemen. - Says the guy who carries the bags displaying that smile that to me was more false than it appeared. - Welcome to Sweet Dreems! - Hello, gentlemen, I hope you enjoy your stay in our hotel. Can I see your reservation? The receptionist says. "Ah yes, I have reservations in the name of Øystein Aarseth. - Euronymous says handing in his hotel card and his credit card. I watched as the attendant looked at the computer monitor. The hotel was beautiful and seemed to be the most luxurious in the area. The walls were white, hospital-colored, with turquoise details and a few other decorations like vases and paintings on the central wall of the hall. I leave my reveries after Øystein registers and his reservation is accepted. We went to the room and soon the baggage handler came behind us. We entered the most beautiful and expensive room I have ever had the pleasure to put my eyes on. As at the entrance the walls were white with turquoise accents and an E-N-O-R-M-E double bed in the center of the room, next to a minifrigobar. I make a point of opening and there I find two bottles of rosé wine Wongraven Senza compromesso. After opening a bottle of those I picked up a cup that was above my head in a type of cup holder. I fill two cups delivering one, to Øystein after he finishes taking off his black fur coat as well. I hold the cup to him who grabs it and gives it a generous sip. I get excited and take a long drink too, savoring that delicious wine. - Here's a nice view. - I say excited for Øystein. - Yes, you do. There was a change in plans. Øystein says, picking up his small personal hygiene bag and taking it to the bathroom. I sit on the bed and pull out my suitcase, too. - How do you change the plans? Why this now. "I'm just packing my things in the hotel wardrobes. - A speaker decided not to appear and this will make things a bit difficult. - He gave up what? - Of the whole trip, he just had not seen. Øystein says, returning to his room. - And the next cruise is tomorrow so I'll have to repay it. "How many days had she been gone?" I ask him already irritated. I think about five days. Øystein speaks softly. He did not want me to get angry, but it was too late. - Fuck who gave five fucking days? Why did not you tell me this before? I ask, picking up the bottle and drinking almost the whole of it in one swallow. "I'm sorry I only knew it now. I got a message and I can not say no. You are an important customer. They were desperate, I could not say do not forgive me. "I can not believe this, Øystein. You bring me here and I come from all the goodwill of the world and it was to spend these weeks together and now you do FUCK. "I'm already out of bed, getting out of bed." "You can not leave me here alone in this end of the world that I do not even know. I already know! I'm going with you on this cruise. - Can not. It has no place because it is already complete. You can have fun if you stay here. Go take a walk, look at the shops in this town and I'll be back soon. Euronymous approaches me and gives me a kiss on the mouth. I try to push him away sooner to the sweet taste of the wine that is on his lips. After the moment of anger passed, I stared at Øystein and without blinking, he ran his hand over my ass and said I was drooling. He told me to turn around, and I saw him lying on the bed, naked and with his cock as hard as an iron rod. I was excited and shaken. - Come here! - He said. - Not! I said yes. Ah! Yeah, are you going to make it sweet now? I know you do. Let's enjoy it while I'm here and after I come back yes we'll enjoy the city together my love. Come on, give a suck here! - He said smiling with ease and debauchery. Trembling, red with rage, and dying with excitement, I still tried to resist saying that it was wrong for him to lie to me. Øystein stood up, took my hand, without my denying it, and set it firmly on his huge limb. I tried to pull it off, however, and he held it tightly over his hard throbbing cock. Then he let go, and I kept holding on and massaging slowly. He told me to kneel down and put his cock in my mouth. I sucked with a huge hunger, swallowing everything, despite the size and thickness I always took care of the message and he enjoyed happy. He told me to lie face down on the two pillows that were luxuriously placed on the bed so that my butt would be in position for him to penetrate me. Then he opened the drawer of the bedside table, took out a lube, had me put it on his cock, passed my entrance, and walked in very slowly. We took a lot of time in that mete, it gets hot, even because I cried, moaned and screamed horny. Minutes after he started penetrating, I already had spasms through my body. For a full time sex of variations of positions and places without leaving the suite. It was a wonderful and unforgettable evening. Even in bed, in the whirlpool, in the carpet of the small room and in the shower. In the end, it was past 11 pm. I confess that the excitement I felt was unimaginable. I entered so hard in an orgasm that I enjoyed without touching my limb. Øystein gave me a pleasure that no other woman could give me. And while I enjoyed, moaned, and shouted calling for him with every thrust, he thrust harder and moaned with pleasure as well. After minutes he enjoys in my interior and enjoy dirtying the bed of red sheet. We ended up sleeping in a hug. The next morning I found myself standing in front of the wharf where the ship of the Øystein cruise ship would leave. I was leaning against a railing when he appeared smiling and leaning there beside me. "How do you feel today, my love?" He asks, smiling at me. "Well, I'm fine, even though I'm still mad at you, but I'm fine. I say kissing his nose. "Here, take this while I'm gone. It had served you more now than it did me. - Euronymous extends his black leather jacket. This jacket was the one he never took from his body. It looked like he had been born stuck in it. Finally he would give that jacket to me. I take it from his hands and he gives me one more passionate kiss before turning his back and heading towards the ship and hop on board.

#Euronymous Dead DeadMous ♥

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biggy-habes · 3 years

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Yesterday ended up being the day that I had been dreading for a while. I had to say goodbye to my best friend. My little buddy. My copilot. My Road Dawg.

Fennie passed on from this life on July 3rd in the comfort of his own home with me and Kat holding him until the very end. This was something that I had promised him from the very beginning. A promise that I would never leave him. That I would be with him until the very end. And that I would always be by his side. I owed him that much.

Fennie's path crossed mine back in 2010 when I walked into the animal shelter at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I was looking for a small dog that would fit in my tiny 1BR apartment. I got to his cage and I saw a skinny little shit that looked like he wanted to get out of his cage and eat me and my first thought was "This pup has spunk!" He had a deep, bright orange coat and a fluffy tail that made him look like he was part fox and had these dark orange freckled spots on his white nose. His face could only be described as "scampish". The worker asked if I wanted to take him out and spend some time with him to see if he warmed up to me so I took him outside in the visitation pen. He didn't seem all that affectionate and was not particularly friendly with me. But there was something about him. I saw something within him. I asked about his history and all that was known was that he was 2 years old and had been surrendered by an elderly couple for being too aggressive. I looked at this tiny little guy and wondered "How much trouble could he be?" 15 minutes later I was walking out with this Spaniel mix (whose original name was actually Lucky. Clearly that name would not stick around for much longer.)

Fennie was originally supposed to be a dog that my girlfriend at the time and I would raise together. However when we split up it was agreed that she would get the cats and I would keep Fennie. It was this decision that would change my life forever. I would no longer be able to use the bathroom without someone worrying where I went. For 11 years this dog would never leave my side. And if I had to be gone for an extended period of time it was preceded with the promise that I would ALWAYS come back for him.

One thing that Fennie will always be remembered for was his never-ending energy. He was constantly going 100 miles a minute. He could not slow down and he would never tire. It was like they took the vigor of a large golden lab and stuffed it into a tiny 20 pound body. No hike was ever long enough. There were never enough objects for him to hump. When he was around 4 I can remember thinking "I cannot wait for him to get a little older so that he will slow down a little bit". Well I would end up waiting for that day to come for a very, very long time.

Despite his size and stature, Fennie always felt like he was so much bigger than he actually was. No matter where he was he would walk around with a poise that he owns all that can be seen and anyone or anything intruding in his territory would have to answer to him. At the dog park he would go up and snatch toys from dogs that could CLEARLY beat his ass without even giving it a second thought. He had some big ol' brass balls, man! He never viewed himself as being in the Not-Even-2-Feet-In-Length, 20 pound body that he was in. He was always vigilant and on guard. No box, package, suitcase, or bag was able to get past him without going through a rigorous sniff search first. He took his job as protector of his territory and his Daddy very seriously!

Fennie would end up living a life that few other dogs would get the opportunity to. As being with a person who is constantly drifting, he got to see more of this great country than most of the people that I know. He has been on the boardwalk in Myrtle Beach. He has been to the mountains of Flagstaff. He has been to ABQ, New Mexico. He has been to Detroit Rock City. He has touched the top of the highest peak east of the Mississippi. He has visited the aftermath of the destruction caused by the tornado in Joplin, Missouri. He has been to Kalamazoo. He has been to Vegas. In his lifetime he has marked Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Missouri, and Illinois as his. He has been through 3 tropical storms, 3 ice storms, 2 tornados, a blizzard, and an earthquake. He has scrapped with a bull terrier and lived to tell the tale. His life was full of adventures, road trips, and hikes.

I’m not going to lie and say that he loved everyone that he met. But I will say that he has touched the heart of everyone that he ever encountered. He was honestly the right dog for the right person at the right time. We shared so many of the same character traits. He was moody. He got irritated very easily. He just had a way of pulling you in. He was lovable, yet complicated. He was selfish and jealous. He didn’t really like to engage in play with any other dogs. He wasn’t one to share. There was never any “Lets Play Fetch”. He had a fiery temper. He was overly cautious. He had a tendency to be untrusting. I have many friends and family that bore the mark of meeting him on their fingertips for a few days afterwards. But he could also be affectionate, and funny, and had the tendency to be a bit of a klutz. He was a great cuddler! And for such a small dog, he had a personality that would burst at the seams.

In his 11 years with me he has shown and taught me so much. He taught me the value of loyalty. If I could use 3 words to describe Fennie then they would be “Loyal…As…FUCK!” Relationships would come and go but he stuck by my side no matter what. He had my back and was willing to protect me at the drop of a hat. And he refused to let anyone or anything come between him and I. He taught me patience. My LORD he taught me some patience!! He taught me that however old you are, you can still be young at heart. And he taught me to love unconditionally. I was not always the best owner. I would get upset at him for things that he had nothing to do with. He would get scared when I would lose my temper. And yet he would still come over to me to comfort me and let me know that he was there for me when I was done. And I cannot tell you the amount of times I accidentally stepped on his paw while walking or whacked him in the head while opening a cabinet, and he would just sit there looking at me like “Eh whatever. So what’s up with that walk you were talking about?”

Although I had other pets growing up, Fennie was the first dog that was MINE. And he is not a someone that I could ever forget. He traveled with me as I bounced from place to place and would only give me a look as if to say "Hey man, I trust you. Just don't leave me." He devoted his entire life to me, and it was only fitting that I spend his whole life by his side. And he gave me a pretty awesome life. I had noticed that he his health had been declining about a year ago. He started slowing down. Getting up was getting to be more of a struggle. His stomach started having issues. He ended up requiring a surgery. I asked myself if the cost of the surgery was worth getting 6 more months with my little buddy. I ended up getting a year. I got my money's worth.

Fenway "Fennie" Haber, affectionately referred to as Foo Bear, Bubba, Fennie Foo (or Fennie Foo Bear if you aren't into the whole brevity thing) will always be remembered for his temperament, his charm, and his overall cuteness. Just like his dear Papa. I was so fortunate to spend the last decade with him by my side. I wasn't exactly sure if I had made the right decision when I first chose him. But I couldn't imagine my life without him. He left this world cuddled up on his favorite blanket alongside his favorite shirt and he was surrounded by love until the light faded from him. As he started to drift off I spoke my last words to him...

For 11 years you've been my Ryde or Die

The time has come for us to say goodbye

The day I have been dreading is finally here

The end of a legacy and a legend is near

Thank you for the life you have given me

Thank you for your undying loyalty

Thank you for comforting me when I needed a friend

Thank you for trusting me until the very end.

I'm going to miss you taking up the whole bed

And your cuddles that were top notch

And when I'm napping you kicking me in the head

And stomping me in the crotch

Don't worry about what will happen to me

After you are gone.

You did such a great job taking care of your Dad

and I will continue to go on

But I will always keep you tucked deep inside my heart

until my life is through

You aren't a dog that is easy to forget

And no matter what I will continue to love you

So if you see me crying as I hold you

and looking scared and sad

It's only because I'll miss you so much

and the life together we had

Get some rest, little buddy

And for now I'll say goodbye

But I'm sure I'll see you again in some crazy dream

Or when I get a little too high

Via con dios my little friend.

Na Zdrowie, Fennie!

Do Widzenie.

You were the right dog, for the right person, at the right time.

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hunterinabrowncoat · 7 years

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Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, but I saw you reblogged a post about the general election and I was wondering why you thought May funding more grammar schools was a bad thing? I've heard a lot from both sides of the argument, but i don't have much experience with the state sector (I've spent my life at private schools) and I just wanted to ask your opinion. Thanks!

Hi anon! You’re no bother at all, don’t be afraid to ask questions.

I mean really it’s quite a complex topic, cos you gotta look at every aspect of British secondary education and class divides, but here goes...

So I didn’t go to public school for most of my life either. I was educated until I was 16 and finished my GCSEs at a small, independent faith school. The fees weren’t expensive, they were based on income, and I didn’t get a fantastic education, nor was anything about that school to be described as “posh” or “rich”. But it was a private school nonetheless.

There were lots of things that were terrible about this school, but on the whole I’m incredibly grateful for my education. I was educated in a very relaxed environment, in classes no larger than 15 at most (usually around 5-10 students), by teachers who knew me personally and honestly, actually cared about my well being.

I know for a fact I would not be able to say the same thing had gone to a comp school. Not least because, no matter how lucky I got with regards to having caring teachers, or stellar teaching, the law simply wouldn’t allow for most of the things I loved about my education. State school class sizes regularly push 30, sometimes even 35. Because of large numbers, state school classes are split up into sets, with the brightest, highest achieving kids in set 1, and the lowest achieving in set 3 (some schools have set 4 I think? depending on how many kids they have, but I’m not 100% sure. It doesn’t really matter either way...). It can get pretty demoralizing for kids who don’t respond well to the ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach the system provides.

A brief history of grammar schools goes something like this:

They’ve existed since the 1600s, but they really became what they are today during the 1940s when education beyond the age of 14 became free. There were two types of schools for secondary education (age 11-16/High School) which consisted of grammar schools and secondary modern schools.

Grammar schools focused on academic subjects, with the intention that pupils would go on to University, whereas secondary modern schools focused on getting children prepared for the workforce in trade. Here, the 11+ was introduced. The 11+ is an exam sat by pupils when they’re 11 years old, which determines if they’re intelligent enough to be educated at a grammar school.

In the 60s, the Labour Party was adamant that this system just furthered class divisions, so began phasing out grammar schools, and introducing Comprehensive Schools, which educate everyone at secondary school age. Aaand voila! That’s pretty much the education system we have for secondary school now. Everybody has a local comp. ...but they’re usually pretty undesirable places.

So... grammar schools, class, and the 11+

As well as being privately educated, I also happen to have grown up one street away from one of only a handful remaining grammar schools in the UK, where my brother went to sixth-form (16-18yrs education, which at the time wasn’t compulsory), so I was blissfully unaware until a few years ago that they’re almost extinct in the UK.

And I mean I joked about it a lot as a teen, but the class difference has always been painstakingly obvious. Between the hours of 8-9am and 3-4pm our street would always fill up with really nice, expensive cars, because parents would park in our street to go pick up their kids from school. You could always tell which cars belonged to residents, and which belonged to parents, because nobody who lives on our street could afford a BMW. More to the point, nobody who could afford a BMW would live on our street!

And you only have to look next-door to see how class plays a part in making it into a grammar school. Right next to the grammar school is a prep school. A primary school literally designed to prepare children for entry into the grammar school. Who do you think gets accepted into that primary school? I can tell you it ain’t working class kids!

So the children who end up going to grammar schools are by no means more intelligent than those who go to comp. They’re just privileged enough to have had a very good (often private) education that helps them to pass the 11+. What usually happens is that parents pay private tutors to come prepare their kid for the exam from an early age, so that they’re far more likely to pass than a kid who’s come from comp education without tutoring, despite not necessarily being any more intelligent.

So in conclusion...?

Essentially, grammar schools are a remnant of an old education system that in theory separated the higher and lower achieving students, but in practice all it really does is allow children from more privileged background access to even more privilege through a better education.

I mean essentially what it boils down to with education, is that same thing that everything comes down to under capitalism:

Whatever the state provides - hell, whatever anyone provides - if you pay lots of money, you can get a better version.

Bought an event ticket? If you pay lots more money, you can skip all of the queues, get front row seats, and spend quality time with the celebs. Need a medical procedure? If you pay lots more money, you can skip all the waiting lists and go to private hospital to get it done immediately, by people who have the time to actually deliver quality patient care. Want an education? If you pay lots more money, you can get one-on-one quality tutoring or teaching from the most highly educated people around, and guarantee that you’ll get into University.

Rich people always get better things, and everybody else is always left with the “standard” which in the case of state-funded things are underfunded, understaffed, underqualified or sub-par. Rich people get better; not because they’re more deserving, or more intelligent, or more qualified. They’ve just been able to pay for more access to better resources that enable them to climb higher.

Political party stances

So currently there is a ban on grammar schools, meaning that no more grammar schools can be opened or set up. What Theresa May wants to do is repeal that ban, and fund 70,000 new places in 140 new schools with £320million, and she’s stipulated that those schools will be free to be selective. ie. they’ll be publicly funding the opening of new grammar schools.

Personally, I don’t care for grammar schools, for all of the reasons listed above. However, I’m not going to be campaigning for their imminent closure anytime soon. They’re a symptom of a system of elitism under capitalism that I don’t support, and honestly I’ve got bigger concerns about education, and about capitalism and elitism on my mind, to be honest.

However, I am adamantly opposed to May’s proposal, which would use public money to fund the set up of yet more grammar schools.

We know the system doesn’t work. All of the evidence points to the fact that they don’t do much for working class kids. They continue to serve an elitist system whereby people with more money get better education.

More money > better education > top university > better paying jobs > more money.

The government should be funding comprehensive schools better, so that the education which everyone has access to is a better quality education. That’s not going to happen unless teachers are paid better, the education and training of teachers is funded better, the class sizes are smaller, and the system shifts to make room for children who don’t fit this ridiculous ‘one size fits all’ approach we currently have.

Furthermore, I can’t say that I trust the education system to the Tory party’s hands at all (although admittedly there isn’t really anything I can think of to be honest that I would trust them with!). Their track record with education is honestly appalling - just look at the absolute joke that was Michael Gove as Education Secretary, and then Nicky Morgan. Neither of them have ever had any experience in education aside from being a child in school, and neither of them have ever listened to what teachers have had to say about the effects of legislation. They’re slashing funding for the arts, placing priority on STEM subjects over everything else, increasing the stress on teachers through horrendous amounts of paperwork required, increasing the class sizes, and increasing the number of tests that children take, even at primary age and foundation phase.

Schools in impoverished areas always receive less funding, thus are unable to provide a better quality education due simply to a lack of resources. And thanks to our ridiculous league table system, all of the emphasis in schools is put on churning out as many GCSEs grade C and above as is humanly possible, rather than actually providing a holistic and quality education. So schools are often forced into demoralizing cycles where they don’t produce enough A*-C GCSE results, receive less funding, have less means to provide a good education, get less A*-C redults etc. etc.

Funding more grammar schools isn’t going to change that. It’s only going to widen the gap between working class kids and middle and upper class kids, who have parents with enough money to afford better opportunities for them.

TLDR;

Grammar schools in theory help kids from low-income backgrounds get better educations, but in practice they really don’t. Public funding should focus on making state education better, through more funding and better legislation, rather than pumping money into an elitist system that only serves to continue the trend of rich kids being high achievers, and poor kids being low achievers, because they’re not given the same opportunities. The Tories also have terrible policy on education generally, but this is a new low.

#anon #ask #reply #education #grammar schools #uk politics #Anonymous

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shadowofhapiness · 7 years

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Shards Of Ice (17/20)

Summary: When princess Anna finds herself gifted a personal slave for her twentieth birthday, her life changes, as she becomes fascinated with the broken girl she’s been given as a servant. Discovering her present’s supernatural abilities and how she was forced to conceal them, Anna just might be able to help Elsa heal, offering her the one thing she’d always been denied, love. [Elsanna]

AN: A bit of a premature resolution to the angst at the end there, but I'm hoping to fit that in to the next chapter. In the meantime, here's a lot of panic and Anna realizing what type of a life she really wants (hint, it doesn't really involve a crown ;)).

Rated: T

Word Count: ~ 5.900 words (~ 79.300 total)

Fanfiction.net - Archive Of Our Own

Race Against The Clock

The atmosphere in the room was absolutely stifling, and that was putting it lightly.

Anna knew she ought not to have expected anything else –this even was really important, it was for her, it was for the noble families (who had come a very long way for some) to welcome her into her new place in society and was a chance for her to get to know them a little better at the same time- but the big fuss, while it had initially beheld some sort of a thrill for her and had gradually become something she’d been looking forward to, she now realized, rather ironically, that she couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over and done with so she could run away, back to her own safe private bedroom where she knew she would be shielded from all of those expectant gazes.

Never one to be really shy around people whether they be familiar or mere strangers, it was rather uncomfortable how small this was making her feel just picturing herself, in the chair while surrounded by so many people, and as Anna watched the servants pass by with a copious plate filled to the brink in their hands (sometimes carefully balancing it and almost having it fall, much to the amusement of the younger princes seated at the front rows) and the sheer number of different guests that had turned up, the knowledge that each and every one of them no doubt had expectations of her –ones they hoped she would fulfill since it would be her duty once she stepped into her father’s place- and the sudden weight of it all crashing down onto her shoulders almost left her wanting for breath for an instant.

Keep it together, Anna, easy does it.

And through it all, that was definitely the worst part of it: keeping it together, showing them all what they wanted to see while at the same time, she felt like falling to pieces on the inside. Oh, Anna wanted to do right by them, live up to her father’s name and legacy, make her parents proud, but as she now felt more isolated than ever, she begun to realize the sheer size of the task at hand (one she would have to undertake alone), and more importantly, just how overwhelming it was. Even the deep calming breath she tried to take in order to convince herself that everything would be okay and that everything would be fine and that everything would work out wasn’t enough this time around.

It was in moments like this that she felt a pang of loss at the fact that she couldn’t simply be Anna, the real woman with a personal life and with her own feelings and emotions, the actual person who stood behind the title of ‘princess and heir to Arendelle’, and that she instead had to suppress all of that inner struggle for everyone else’s sake. The only one person she’d ever managed to let down that carefully crafted façade with had been Elsa –but those distant bittersweet memories, while she cherished them still, were just that, distant memories- and when scanning the crowd in the hopes of maybe spotting her among the guests and the few selected servants that had been tasked with serving them all food and drink throughout the evening turned out to be naught but a disappointment, Anna felt more alone than ever.

They didn’t understand. She didn’t blame them, but as she watched all of the Southern and Western nobles cheering (at the top of their lungs for certain, who must have already been slightly too indulgent with the wine), talking heartily, laughing at some clever twist of tongue or an inside joke she could definitely not hope to make out from where she sat and all around basking in what was, for them at least, a festive atmosphere, without so much as even sparing a glance in her direction –turning a blind eye to her panic, to the building anxiety in her chest and the overall loneliness Anna was drowning in, the whole lot hidden behind a carefully crafted mask- the princess was envious and, not for the first time that evening did she wish she could just partake in their levity, because seeing them all like this (simply having a good time), while Anna was definitely relieved they seemed pleased with the evening so far, she just selfishly wished for a moment that she could have that too. This was supposed to be a special day for her, was it really too much to ask for?

“You don’t seem to be doing so well.” Has said quietly from beside her, leaning his head in so as to not have to risk someone potentially overhearing them, and it took Anna a moment to actually process the fact that he was talking to her, the buzzing noise of the room certainly not accommodating any kind of small talk. “You need anything?”

I need a breath of fresh air. I need Elsa. But again, to her dismay, the blonde hadn’t magically popped up when her eyes quickly swept over the room for the second time in not even five minutes (was she really that desperate for her to be there? Anna guessed she probably was, at this point).

“You really do like her, don’t you?”

Anna’s panic came to a momentary halt, because damn it, Hans certainly wasn’t supposed to pick up on the fact that she still wasn’t over the ruined potential of what she and Elsa could have –might have, under different and more favorable circumstances-been, but it seemed the Southerner was much more perceptive a chap than she’d initially given him credit for. “Now really isn’t the time for-“

“Now might be the only time.” He whispered tersely, all levity to the conversation suddenly evaporating into thin air. Anna fully turned to him then, not too sure as to what exactly could have prompted him to chose to do so. “Look, you and I, we aren’t all that different from one another, a prince and a princess, we spent most of our childhood with people telling us how to act and what to say, we have big expectations placed on our shoulders and a noble name to live up to which comes before anything else. It’s not the most peachy of lives, but it’s ours. The thing is, you still have a choice, you can still walk away from it if you want to, you can just about do anything until you decide to make that speech in front of all of those people and making the whole thing an official matter. It’s not too late to turn back if it’s what you really want.”

Anna looked down, gave herself a moment to let all of that sink in.

It was nice to have someone like Hans, someone stuck in the same position as her, someone who truly understood how horrible this dilemma she was facing was. Looking back on it, Anna really hadn’t thought things through when she’d called things off with Elsa, she had thought it would be easy (just focus on your duties, forget the heart, throw yourself into the role a hundred percent and everything would turn out all right. Well, look how well that turned out), but when she woke up at ungodly hours in the morning by herself, other half of the bed empty where someone used to fill it, when the ache in her heart at how utterly alone she felt became too unbearable to deal with at times, when the brightest highlights of her days had become those tiny fractions of moments when she’d catch a fleeting glimpse of Elsa’s arm, the end of her braided blonde hair or even the tail of her signature purple dress (just knowing she’d been there) or –when she was lucky enough- the short actual conversations they’d had the opportunity to have, those were the most cherished of memories Anna had of the last few weeks. It only now dawned on her that those had been the moments where she’d felt at home, where she’d felt like Anna, like she was whole since this whole ceremonial business had begun, and despite the efforts she had been dong to control herself, those memories hadn’t faded away in the slightest. As a matter of fact, Anna felt that she was missing Elsa now more than ever.

“I-I can’t.” Anna stuttered half-heartedly, voice definitely lacking in conviction as the words she’d told herself over and over once again made it past her lips. “I wish I could, but I can’t, I don’t have a choice in this.”

This conversation was certainly starting to shape into something she didn’t want.

“I owe it to all of them, those people, they need me, I’ll have to lead them one day, it’s important that I follow in my father’s footsteps and take up his mantel when he will no longer be able to carry it, it’s my duty as princess and heir to the throne of Arendelle, and if the crown comes at the expense of something or someone I was personally attached to –am personally attached to-, well there isn’t much that can be done for it, I simply have to accept it.”

She shot him a strained smile, hoping that he would understand that there truly was no other alternative to this situation that she could think of. People like her, they didn’t have the luxury of going against notions such as duty and tradition, no matter what, surely Hans could understand that.

Glancing back at him, the Prince seemed to have gone quite sullen, eyes strained on his half filled plate as if hoping the appetizing looking food would put him in a better mood, as he kept quiet. Turning back to her own one, Anna wished for the same, for she was quickly finding that there wasn’t much to be happy about in all of this bar maybe living up to her family’s name. Elsa, although she had kept a hopeful eye out for her, still hadn’t shown up, and Oleg… Gods only knew where he’d gotten lost, the empty chair next to her mother still stuck out like a sore thumb and while she doubted her cousin would show up this late, Anna hoped that she’d be able to catch him later to have a word with him about it, and he better have a damn good excuse up his sleeve for missing out on all of this or she wasn’t going to let him live it down, ever.

Anna smiled grimly as she imitated her father, lifting her glass and ducking her head as she acknowledged the room’s enthusiastic toast to her good health, success and bright future (and she quickly found out that she really didn’t like being at the center of attention of such a large crowd)and brought the drink to her lips, the sweet smell the only highlight of this, thus far, rather gloomy evening.

Her dress had begun to itch, the costly fabric grating against her skin beneath and for the third time already, Anna held back the sudden urge to finger it slightly to dislodge the discomfort. The last person to have touched the fabric there had been Elsa, and, as she looked down at her sleeve, Anna could still picture the other girl’s creamy pale skin, her long and delicate fingers carefully adjusting her cuffs so they sat perfectly on her wrist, embracing it’s form, wanting not only for the ceremony to be perfect but for Anna to feel perfect too. In her silent gratitude, Anna drowned out the rest of the noise in the background, as she all too willingly let her gaze be captured by the edge of her sleeve and tried to put herself back in her very own room –away from all the noise, away from the crowd- back to a safe place, where it was just her and Elsa.

It had been intimate, such simple and ordinary gestures they had repeated over and over every day of their life, but there had been something special in the way Elsa had let her finger trail on her shoulder gently as she adjusted the fabric (maybe she was even reluctant to break contact, or maybe that was simply Anna making things up in her own mind, reading too much into it) and it had been like Elsa was treating her like delicate glass, like she was performing a sacred ritual between the two of them –something nobody else was ever to by privy to-, pouring all of her heart into her meticulous task. Anna leaned back in her chair, reminiscing over the swell in her chest at just how much it was moments like these that made her feel so content in merely being alive. Moments where neither of them had needed to utter a sound yet love and utter devotion to one another had been written across both of their features.

And that, was what she missed the most right now, that sense of wholeness, of being with someone who understood her fully and who she, in turn, sort of understood back, the whole reciprocity of the thing that went far beyond gentle to passionate kisses and exchanged “I love yous”. The people here –and more importantly, one person among them, was probably to be her future husband –or at least, both her parents strongly hoped that to be the case- but they wouldn’t understand that connection, she and said stranger wouldn’t ever be able to build that bond she and Elsa had because, well, they weren’t Elsa. Anna wouldn’t marry any of those handsome and undoubtedly charming young men out of love, and the lack of a connection between them (which would be something mutual, she to him and him to her) would forever dig an ever growing whole they wouldn’t be able to mend. Never mind the hole she could feel growing in her heart at the prospects of such a life, a life of constant dissatisfaction because the one person she knew would be able to fill it would forever be out of her grasp.

Anna didn’t want this –the mask, the coldness, the distance, the sheer lack of true love that went along with taking up the crown- and as her hand clenched over her knew as she took in all of the utter fakeness of it all, she felt like running, wanted to run far away as she could of something that was completely not her, and which was not the future she wanted to be trapped in until she eventually died at a miserable old age, without ever having had the chance to truly live beforehand. The entrance door was right ahead of her, behind the sea of guests, taunting her with an escape, daring her to just stand up and run, take Elsa and run away and never come back, and Ana’s throat clogged up as she realized just how trapped she was. How trapped she was now going to be.

Life just wasn’t fair, was it?

She brought her hand up to her face, discreetly wiped away the moisture she could feel gathering t the corner of her eye –hoped everyone else would just read it as here simply being overwhelmed with the ceremony, at being utterly happy at the prospects of the world she was now entering and not be able to read past the impassive mask to see the last crumbling shards of a broken heart at the utter defeat of someone having to lose a part of themselves in order to endorse a disguise for the rest of their life. A mask that would rule the their every day, their every decision, their reactions out in public and have to quell their own personal being beneath when wrestling with difficult decisions calling for a little more compassion and humanity. Anna felt like a literal part of her soul was slowly being crushed right in front of her as it cried out for help, for her to fight back and keep it, no not give it up out of an obligation she was forced to fulfill, yet as she sat there, she found herself unable to do anything else besides watch as it happened, pretty certain that it was too late to fix things now.

When she woke up tomorrow, she would be completely alone.

Maybe it was for the best that Elsa had not been tasked with joining the ranks of castle servants whose task it was to bring them the food, Anna wasn’t entirely certain that she would be able to take it, having the one person who had come to mean the world to her (the one person she’d turned away with absolutely no explanation whatsoever) so close to her yet have to helplessly watch as that invisible barrier between them would firstly go up and then slowly tear them apart.

Swallowing hard, Anna reached out for her glass and took a large gulp (not exactly respecting the manners she’d brought up with, but with emotions threatening to take control of her entire body, it was the first course of action she could think of to counter it) and even at that, the cool drink did very little to help. At this point, she wondered if anything really could.

“Ah, Princess Anna, I must sincerely apologize for not coming over sooner, I’m afraid I must confess that I got quite caught up with small talking your esteemed neighbor Count Stephen over there, you’ll be pleased to know that he is enjoying himself immensely. Especially the refreshments, he asked me to pass his most hearty compliments to you and your kitchen.”

Anna offered the duke of Westleton a stiff smile and her hand to shake, knowing that she could not allow her weariness and will to just be out of here tarnish her behavior towards the duke or any of their other guests for that matter. For his part though, he seemed lively enough, little black eyes sparkling from behind his too-big pair of glasses, and she guessed that if at least someone was getting something positive out of all of this then it might just have been worth it in the end.

“Thank you, sir. And how are the chilly winds treating you here, nothing too uncomfortable I would hope?”

“Oh, I’ll quickly be right as rain after I return home, fear not, but I simply couldn’t pass up on such a special occasion. This is a singular occasion, you officially taking up your position as the crown princess and heir to the kingdom of Arendelle, I thought it nothing but polite to assist the great fortune of a neighboring kingdom in person.”

Anna’s features remained crisp, her whole body going rigid as the old man leaned in his eagerness and excitement certainly lending him to be slightly over-friendly towards her, which was certainly not a feeling she was inclined to share, as she all but wished this was over already so that she could scamper off back to her room, if not to get away from the celebration itself than at least to escape the slightly over-enthusiastic duke.

Maybe if she was lucky enough, she could even request after Elsa, share a moment with her, just the two of them.

“Your good wishes are certainly appreciated.” She offered curtly, crossing her fingers beneath the table vainly hoping that it might get him to just go away. But of course, as if the evening being nothing but morose and one interminable anxiety fest for her wasn’t enough, her prayers went unheeded, and Westleton seemed to plant himself right there, determined to get a conversation out of her.

“Why, you’ll have to come over and visit us one of these days, see and learn about all of our customs in the South and take some time so we might be able to establish a potentially better maritime route with your kingdom –I know we could get a lot of benefit out of a good deal both you and I- and Prince Hans would surely be thrilled to verse you in our ways. And maybe you might even deem it possible to bring along your dear cousin –what was his name Olgar? Olaf?”

“Oleg.” Anna corrected, clearly not amused by his antiques.

“Why Oleg, of course, forgive me for momentarily forgetting it. But as we brought the dear prince up, it does beg the question, where is the lovely gentleman, I have yet to catch a glimpse of him. Ought he not to be here?”

The question made Anna painfully aware of the vacant chair to her right, her cousin‘s absence something she had initially tried not to let dampen the atmosphere. However, not that even their esteemed guests had noticed it, it really became something to be embarrassed about. Whatever Oleg would come up with later to justify his absence was definitely not going to be good enough to save his sorry skin this time around.

“He must have been held up with someone I take it.” Anna ventured, not really knowing what else she could offer the old man as a means to excuse her cousin’s decision to not show up. It stung as she realized it, that Oleg was going to miss out on this, that there was still this small possibility that he had chosen not to assist the ceremony, which he knew had been something important for Anna. A part of her, the one that was always willing to see the best in people, to give everyone a bright smile and look at things with the most positive outlook possible really didn’t want to believe that –that both Oleg and Elsa had consciously decided not to be here for her tonight- but why else were they (still) not here? The first appetizers had been served, the drink was already beginning to flow, the servants had already pulled out of the room and were headed back to the kitchens for the most part, had he (and the blonde) been caught up in the flow they surely would have made their way to them at this point.

“Oh well, I guess he’ll miss out on the toast then… Which is why I’m here actually. Your Majesties,” Westleton said, briefly glancing to the both her parents, “I have a very special gift for you, your highness.” And Anna watched intently as he signaled over one of his fellow servants from the Southern kingdom (recognizable with their foreign-looking attire) with a gesture of his hand. Very carefully, his thin arms picked up the heavy-looking engraved crystal bottle the stranger brought over on a lavish tray, the sparkly red liquid sloshing around.

“Please allow me and Prince Hans to offer you the very best of our Southern vineyards, especially chosen for you by the Prince himself in your honor.”

“I-I,” To be truthful, Anna had certainly never expected something like this, and for a moment, she felt a little embarrassed at receiving such an obviously expensive gift. You really didn’t have to was on the tip of her tongue, ready to express how out of place she felt, but aware that it would no doubt reflect poorly on her to turn down such an offering –especially one so luxurious- and so she took it with both hands, balancing the surprisingly heavy bottle in her left arm for a moment before bringing up her glass with her right and pouring the content into it.

“To a lovely evening and to your good health.” She offered as a toast when raising the glass to the room, the light of the crystal hanging from the ceiling making the liquid inside shine, and the whole room burst into an echoing sentiment, offering a hearty toast in a uniform cheer. It certainly smelt divine (Anna guessed Westleton must be an expert in all of these things) and once the crowd settled down, her lips trembled as she lifted the recipient, cool rim now against her mouth and about to tilt up when-

“No don’t!! ”

The brunette didn’t even have a moment to realize that she’d let go of the glass until the sound of a loud clatter rang in her ears, and, looking down, stunned, to where the carefully crafted pieces now lay, frozen solid.

Elsa’s beating heart thundering in her ears was the only thing she could vaguely make out as she stood there, stock still, arm still outstretched for a moment, the whole crowd on onlookers staring right back at her, with expressions varying from general surprise to shock to hints of fear. There was a second of confusion, where nobody breathed a sound too busy were they trying t figure out and understand what had just happened under their noses and Elsa swallowed then, hard, painfully aware of what she had just done and just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Punishment of some kind was definitly coming her way, because while Anna maybe understood her and saw her as more than a mere ice wielder, servant or monster –as an actual human being whose wants and desires were worthy of being taken into consideration when it was possible- these people probably didn’t, and it was as her actions were sinking into them that it dawned on her that saving Anna’s life might just be coming with a very steep price, one Elsa had certainly not entertained before using her magic to freeze the pristine glass.

The illusion of peace broke then, cries of outrage and fear overwhelming the room as everybody began to panic, making for the walls and windows on either side, as far away from Elsa as they could possibly get out of fear of being the next ones to meet a similar fate to Anna’s glass while Westleton’s screechy high-pitched voice cried out in outrage over theirs, “Get it! Bring the monster over here!”

Elsa barely had a moment to process the fact that by monster the old man was actually referring to her when she felt two strong arms take hold on her on either side, and knowing better than to try and fight them (which would probably only worsen whatever decision was made a concerning her fate), the pair both escorted her in a less-than-friendly way to the grand table, where Westleton and Anna’s family were still seated. It was embarrassing, a meek servant like her being paraded though so many noblemen and women, who must all be looking down on her as she past (but Elsa would never know, too fearful of meeting their gaze, knowing they simply wouldn’t understand), and when she and the duke’s guards finally came to a stop, Elsa couldn’t do much either when she was shoved down on her knees none to gently, she simply kept her eyes downcast and didn’t dare meet any of theirs, fearful of jeopardizing herself even further by doing a wrong move.

“What is this?! What is the meaning of this?”

Weslteton’s voice betrayed how he felt, shaking with outrage and indignation – maybe it would have almost been comical under other circumstances- as he all but stomped over to her, his little disproportionate body not making him look very intimidating, but Elsa knew better, past experience had taught her that the brutish-looking weren’t necessary the worst. She quickly flinched back as she felt the cool end of a blade against her neck, which forced her to straighten up, and it was all she could do in order to not swallow, to fearful of injuring herself if she did, and given the potential wound location, there wouldn’t be much that could be done if her neck got cut too deeply.

Her cold hands were shaking badly now.

“No! No, don’t hurt her!”

It was as she saw the silver glinted metal dangerously close to Elsa’s neck that Anna finally managed to get her body to snap out of the paralyzing stupor and stop Weslteton before he did something permanently damaging. Stiffly, she made her way over, as if the trance she’d been a moment ago was somehow still affecting her as she rounded the corner of the table, not caring in the slightest if her decidedly unroyal behavior were to elicit comments from the still stunned crowd. She came to a halt to Elsa’s side, determined to let the duke know that she valued the older girl as her equal, and extended a hand to where it hovered over the older girl’s shoulder, almost touching it, as if it were a silent reassurance that she completely stood with her. Elsa, on the other hand, wished the hand were touching her shoulder, as she thought just grounding her that much more in the here and now might just be what she needed to save her life.

“Don’t you even dare lay a finger on a single one of her hairs on her head.” It was the first time Elsa had ever heard Anna be well and truly angry and the unmistakable threatening quality of her tone –quiet, sharp, but definitely something that ought to be feared- and when the old man refused to lower his weapon, Anna continued with the same air of royal authority, “Put the blade down, now. I’m sure there’s an explanation for all of this.” For a moment, a flicker of hesitation followed her statement, Anna now knowing she had just put her whole situation in jeopardy over a mere servant, but she guessed she was too far in now, and if saving Elsa came at the cost of her title and the respect of those noblemen and women, well so be it. She was pretty certain now that Elsa was someone worth sacrificing it all for.

“You can’t expect me to lower my sword when that thing could attack me at any moment or-“

“That thing has a name, it’s Elsa, and she is my servant, thus under my protection. You will do as I say, now.”

“Do it now.” He father’s crisp and similarly authoritative voice echoing her command gave Anna a little reassurance, knowing that at least he had her back on this decision, that it wasn’t something wrong she’d let her impulse and feelings chose to do without thinking it through first. It certainly halted Westleton, whose hand froze mid-way from reaching for the knife on his plate. “I’m certain that there must be a good reason for this outburst.” And at that, he looked at Elsa with an unusual severity in his gaze, unlike how he’d ever come across to her before, but Elsa supposed the circumstances called for it: she had raised a hand on one of their guests for reasons he knew not yet, to the King all of this likely made little sense. His bushy eyebrows were drawn, frowning almost, and he looked so unlike the gentle man who had taken the very first step in freeing her form a miserable life of slavery by offering her a second chance at Arendelle castle. Elsa gulped in anticipation, definitely knowing that a person of her stature ready to strike a visiting official would not reflect well on any of them, and she could only hope that she’d manage to argue her case convincingly.

“Do you have an explanation for this, Elsa.”

She cast a glance towards him, to his apologetic looking wife in the background and finally to Anna, and the worried crease in her eyebrows and by the way she was biting her lower lip to quell her anxiety let Elsa know just how nervous the other young woman was concerning her fate. A fate Elsa had barely thought about when intervening: Anna’s life had been in danger, there had been little other choices she would have made.

However, the King asking her the question personally, asking her before asking Westleton for his version of events, did not go unnoticed by her, and Elsa took it for what it was: he was trying to offer her a chance to talk her way out of this, trying to let her argue her case in front of these people and maybe even giving her a chance to show them that while a servant she may be, there was a lot more to her than merely bringing the princess food or changing her bedclothes. Equally aware that he –and Anna- was also potentially putting his reputation and namesake at stake by choosing to favor a lower-class citizen over an eminent guest like the Duke, Elsa knew she could do nothing more than tell the truth, that-

“The Duke of Westleton had arranged for the beverage to be poisoned, I overheard him with one of his delegation in charge of the catering. I-I know it was not my place to act out when I had not informed any of you beforehand but I-“ And here Elsa faltered for a moment, unable to look anywhere else but at her feet as the stunned crowd went silent, all ears trained on her, “I just, I just couldn’t let him hurt Anna. I know what I did was dangerous, I know that I shouldn’t have used my magic when I could have hurt any person in here, but I-”

Now rambling on and at a loss as to how exactly she ought to finish her sentence, Elsa felt her cheeks heat up as she still kept her eyes locked with the decorated carpet below, the murmurs of indignation and suspicion already flying among the crowd. It was only when she felt something soft on her cheek that she dared look up, right into Anna’s eyes.

Elsa’s breath stopped for a minute, aware that this was the absolute closest that they had been in a very long time and unsure as to what that entirely meant. Was Anna about to whisper to her to run along to the kitchens, wait for her there where she would come in later and address her due punishment? Was she about to berate her in front of everyone? Was she maybe even going to strike her across the face as a reminder to never lash out in such a public way ever again? Or maybe-

She certainly didn’t expect the princess to crush her lips to hers and kiss her passionately in front of everybody, and the wonderful warm swell erupting in her chest at the fact that Anna was taking her back, Anna wasn’t angry, and that Anna was showing her that she still loved her in front of everybody to sink in.

She choked on a watery laugh when they parted, almost doubtful as to whether it had been real or not, but when Anna’s personal little whisper of Oh god oh god oh god, I’m so sorry, how could I have messed up so much, thank you thank you thank you, thank you for saving my life, I love you so damn much and the repeated little kisses to her temple that Elsa let herself give in, her hands momentarily trying to get re-accustomed to the other’s body before fitting perfectly on her shoulders, just incredibly overwhelmed at this feeling of wholeness and belonging that were suddenly being restored to her.

Maybe a happy ending was in sight after all, the noise of the clapping crowd behind them certainly seemed to be in favor of it. Hopefully Anna was too.

#Meghan writes #Shards of Ice

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