#I'm just posting on a side blog in case i never get around to doing anything with this and then no one can hold me accountable

[princesspumpkinmuffin]

Hello knitters, cross-stitchers, embroiderers, and any other textile artists who see this!

Does anyone know of anywhere online that offers the ability for folks to meet up virtually with each other? I'm looking for an online version of like a sewing guild. It would be nice to meet people and share WIPs and tips and tricks, but also build relationships. I'm not talking about forums or FB groups (there are plenty of FB groups and god i hate FB) - I'm looking for something more real time like discord or some kind of video chat.

If you know of something that already exists, definitely let me know. If you don't know of anything...does this sound like something you would be interested in if I can find the motivation to start something?

[catboybiologist]

So.

Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.

Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.

Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.

They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.

And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.

All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?

Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.

And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.

Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.

And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.

Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.

They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.

They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.

And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.

It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.

Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.

Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.

But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.

Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.

Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.

And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.

[marsprincess889]

Yoni animal observations

I did something similar with nakshatras. This is them in a very simple way. This is based on traditional associations as well as my own observations of real life and art. 💕 The word "yoni", as well as meaning the female reproductive organ, also means "origin". Yoni animal represents the instinct of the nakshatra and ultimately, reveals its true core nature.

Also, disclaimer: it's very sad that I have to say this, and apologies if you're not one of those people, but if you're going to correct anything in this post by writing one or more long paragraphs of why you think I'm wrong, you might as well just start your own blog or make your own post about the subject. I've been observing yoni animals for years and I'm kind of sorry if any of this offends you, but I'm not trying to attack anyone personally, or even a specific placement (nakshatras in this case), cause that's just dumb. Of course, everyone is free to express their opinions but please do it politely and have some respect for the person who took their time to gain and share knowledge. It's very easy to correct others, it's very hard to be faultless yourself. So, factual corrections are always welcome(say someone got someone's chart placement wrong, or they have written a factually incorrect association, like if they were to write that Jyeshta is fierce as opposed to sharp/cruel in nature.), but, once again, everyone's view is different and so either respect mine or don't write anything at all.

With that being said, you can now enjoy this post💕

Horse yonis

Ashwini and Shatabhisha

Keywords: activity, simplicity, masculinity(solar/yang), independence, healing.

Straightforward people. They might tend to have black and white thinking, can be very blunt with their delivery and definitely prone to "deafness": not hearing others' views. Simple and utilitarian, goal-oriented. Their presence might not be really noticed until the moment they suddenly speak up about or act on something. Love to point stuff out. Either quiet or very precise while speaking. Not aggressive but can be combative. Most likely will oppose someone before making peace. Independence>sharing. Don't like anything "unnecessary", love to get to the point.

Elephant yonis

Bharani and Revati

Keywords: slow, authority, time, timelessness, strength, transitions, protection, completion, gentleness, complexity, depth.

Not revealing their innermost selves, only revealing it to a select group of people, if to anyone. They attach meaning to things based on their experiences. Protective and gentle with each other, closed off to most of the others. Very private. Not really concerned with trends. Observant but not quick to act. Can have many sides to them that some others might fail to understand. Have an air of wisdom, but not that of arrogance. Still, they are the most likely to knowingly take the high road but still protect their peace, making them very exclusive, although it's never for show. Defensive but quietly so. Accomodating to some degree on the outside, there's always more to them than what's obvious. See the bigger picture in every situation. They have a certain quiet strength and power. Nurture is important to them. Do not appreciate unnecessary aggression and try to dominate over anything they consider harsh/crude.

Sheep yonis

Krittika and Pushya

Keywords: precision, structure, minimalism, choosiness, contained.

Do not like excess in anything. They have a sense of balance, usually in almost everything. Prioritize sctructure and basics/essentials. Like clarity and clear-cut lines in their lives and around them. Can be snappy, but in a passive-aggressive way. Not harsh in a heavy/overwhelming way but still harsh about details. Have a soft demeanor with strangers and acquaintances, sometimes even people close to them in everyday life but can judge them quietly. Neutral to friendly on the outside, but if they have uncomfortable emotions they try hard to release them quietly/without much fuss. Might bottle up resentment in result. Very utilitarian and practical.

Snake yonis

Rohini and Mrigashira

Keywords: enjoyment, ease, materialism, basic awareness, growth, progress, sensory indulgence, instincts.

Very placid and calm. They focus mainly on material things but can live without luxuries, and can also share them, although privacy is very important to them. Very aware of their surroundings and their own presence. Attuned to their senses. Can get easily attached to people and things. Can exhibit selfish tendencies(or that's how it looks to others) when they feel like their desires are ignored, but Rohini and Mrigashira each do it differently.

Dog yonis

Ardra and Mula

Keywords: upheaval, critical point, rebelling, release, change, anchoring.

Tense but not frail. Might look tortured sometimes. Do not like to and probably even cannot focus on details, at least not how it's traditionally done(different to each situation). Like to display their individuality in one way or another. Dark humor or sassy comebacks. Either quiet or very loud, but either way, opinionated. If they're neutral then they're opinionated about being neutral. Can be kind of nihilistic but at peace with it. Contrarian and unapologetic. If they don't care about something you can't make them care. If they do care, they care intensely.

Cat yonis

Punarvasu and Ashlesha

Keywords: accumulation, buildup, purity, safety, protection, preservation, cycles.

Concerned with what influences them, not so much what they put out. Self-focused but also highly aware of others' needs. Can adapt to surroundings and can change their behavior based on what they need or really want. Not unkind but laser-focused on the boundaries. Always keep their cards close to their chest, not out of malice but simply to preserve their safety. Look more unnaproachable than they really are, and know more than they share with most.

Rat yonis

Magha and Purva Phalguni

Keywords: dispersion, creativity, planting seeds, the self.

Can be egocentric. Prideful and nonchalant. Love to show off. Might be aware of surroundings to some degree but even if they are, they rarely care. Getting what they want is the priority, along with self-expression. Not very moralistic, don't care much about labels. Sometimes they can be too detached. Will almost never catch them crying in front of others, although they can be dramatic if they want and can, without a problem, attract their dwsired attention. Their happiness is more warm and generous than loud and euphoric. Might have a poker face, they rarely show strong emotions. The strongest emotion I've seen them express is that of defensiveness, and that's not even an emotion. When they get defensive it's almost always because something has touched their pride or triggered their ego. Focused on what they can do.

Cow yonis

Uttara Phalguni and Uttara Bhadrapada

Keywords: stability, the long-term results, natural, softness, power/influence, unity, calm.

Stubborn. That's the only defense they have, because otherwise they're very soft. Naturally honest. They have an effortlessness about them that feels easy to be around, and they are pleasant to be around but not accepting of everyone. They avoid people they don't like from early on and stick to the ones they consider better. Not hesitant to defend themselves or people close to them, but not quick to waste that energy on just anyone, and when they do become defensive they still maintain "the high ground". Backing their allies and fighting proudly is natural for them. Again, very stubborn, so they rarely, if ever, give up on something important. Although they're tough, they're not sharp or cruel. They are mostly in a state calmness and assuredness rather than anxious defensiveness. Very fixed and comfortable in their ways.

Buffalo yonis

Hasta and Swati

Keywords: materialism, gain, comfort, strength, feminine(yin), ease.

More attached to material things than other yonis. Individuality is defined through connections and surroundings. Love comfort and ease. Interdependence>independence. Can be curiously neutral and accomodating. Self-focused but not selfish. Often phlegmatic and slow. Genuinely caring but can be cunning. Not the most direct people. They will let others know their views but won't push them aggressively on others. Almost everything about them is filtered through that neutrality.

Tiger yonis

Chitra and Vishakha

Keywords: building, gradual, defensive, expression, buildup.

The most defensive. Can look sweet on the outside but are not all soft. Can range from extremely forgiving to extremely vengeful. Aggression comes out while speaking. Rarely, if ever, present in a state of calm melancholy. They moreso go from happy/fun to agitated. Focused on development/building, and always look for more than what's natural for them. Witty but emotionally so. If they're highly agitated, it's very hard for them to exercise restraint in the moment. Not that direct in general but unfiltered during critical moments. It's easy for them to put on a mask, whether out of neccessity or just for fun. Can be very judgemental. If they're not aware, it can make them act in a "mean" way when they feel not their best.

Rabbit/Deer yonis

Anuradha and Jyeshta

Keywords: society, organization, status quo, responsibility, transpersonal, maturing.

Very non-aggressive on the inside, despite how they might look. Naturally have endurance and a sense of responsibility. Can be judgemental but also understanding. Love to give advice. Competitive but respectful. Can become arrogant. Love everything "classic" but want to establish their own, new structures. Choosy and sometimes exclusive. More warm than they appear, and capable of more emotions than how it seems. Often traditionally intelligent. Have a very civilized behavior.

Vanar yonis

Purva Ashadha and Shravana

Keywords: flow, alliances, connections, support, creation and preservation.

Good at reading between the lines, anything too structured is harsh for them. Otherworldly aura/mannerisms. Most likely to posses what others might consider as "quirks". Value their own individuality and uniqueness. Seeks to be different from what they consider boring, normal or basic. Not very reactive. When they get defensive, they get quiet. Can romatisize sadness and melancholy. Capable of seeing both sides but are often willingly biased.

Mongoose yoni

Uttara Ashadha

Keywords: independence, solitude, practicality, victory.

Truly neutral and unbothered. Value honesty and integrity. Not attached to material things at all. Easy to be around but their regal nature might put some people ill at ease. Naturally take on leadership positions. Might feel lonely but won't trade solitude for tiring/uninteresting company. Value practicality and simplicity, and are practical themselves. Surprsingly warm and feeling in certain moments, but can also be uncaring towards others.

Lion yonis

Dhanishta and Purva Bhadrapada

Keywords: notoriety, flashiness, power, aggression, pride.

Very unfiltered and loudly so. Unashamed and bold, proud. That pride and confidence fuels their calmness, but they can lack patience. In everyday interactions they can look very unreactive but if something "triggers" them, they will not hesitate to be a little(or not so little) aggressive. Love to spread their influence. Might strongly dislike anything that looks subtle and quiet to them, as it arises distrust in them. Rarely, if ever, use/appreciate sarcasm. They prefer directness. Can slip into being a bully, or can become a proud voice for others.

[velvetvexations]

Chiming in on the whole "do tmascs/the transandrophobia community actually harass tfems on the scale that is claimed" thing, I've been wondering that for a while too, especially since back when [Popular Trans Blogger] was dealing with The Most Normal CEO Ever I saw literally EVERY SINGLE major voice in transandrophobia circles immediately drop everything, put aside all the harassment and hate they had faced, make it clear that trans people being harmed by cishet society comes before discussing deeper theory, and basically non-stop post about how she didn't deserve that and openly critique tumblr's transphobia and how it hurts tfems despite the fact that that user and her followers had been consistently vile to transmascs. Like they all jumped up to add their voices against the banning, it was so fucking clear they were able to prioritize protecting trans people no matter what, and no one ever really talks about it because they also don't gloat about putting the swords down for the greater good. It's just something they know needs to be done and they won't paint themselves as heroes or martyr for it.

On the other hand, I've never in my entire life seen a big TRF or anyone who travels in those circles ever stick their neck out when tmascs are experiencing harassment and transphobia, not once. Not even when it leads to the same unjust bans that tfems face(which do happen, at similar rates to tfem bloggers like the idea that the trans bans are a tfem only thing is simply not true). Like I've blogs that are constantly posting about how "if you never post anything about supporting trans women then you're probably a secret transmisognist" turn around and respond to people pointing out that they never post anything even vaguely supportive of tmascs(not even talking about discourse just the usual "trans men are valid and deserve support" positivity stuff that goes around) who are on their "side" by saying "um I'm a trans woman and this is my personal blog so I don't have to say nice things about trans men ever and it says absolutely nothing about me that I never have anything kind or nice to say about even the transmascs that are on my side/valid in my opinion and actually it's bigoted for you to demand I say nice things about other trans people fuck you kthxbye" and I just. What??

I know that there have been some cases of tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers harassing a trans woman, but like. It's pretty rare and usually only a couple of people. And that's still bad ofc but the scale is different for sure. In terms of big, influential tumblr users I swear every single time a popular tfem gets deactivated all the transandrophobia bloggers jump to their defense, meanwhile TRFs just gleefully go around attacking every trans guy who so much as breathes in their direction and calls you a transmisognist if you point out that it's fucked of them to have a double standard about trans rights. Or acts like "I said something bigoted and other members of my community got mad" is harassment. Like [Popular Tfem Musician] was def getting Harassed but I watched the whole thing unfold and while there were a few shitty tmascs chiming in, overall the harassment was led by an entirely different group who was mad about something unrelated, they just happened at the same time so everyone figured ALL the harassment was coming from tmascs when it very much was not.

(Also tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers are also constantly adding "if you're a follower and I see you bothering the person I'm talking about I'll report and block you myself" they like care a lot about all trans people and will show tf up for even ones they disagree with or who have directly harmed them when push comes to shove. [Popular MLP Tfem Artist] is still getting accused of harassing other trans women despite her constantly instructing her audience to leave everyone alone. And I have def seen way more transandrophobia bloggers call out any tmascs or other trans people on "their" side get ignored and deplatformed if they prove to be bad actors. I don't see TRFs doing that like. Ever. Like they go "take our the trash in your community" to tmascs but pretend they can't read when someone asks them to denounce people who openly harasses tmascs. Or just makes excuses for them because surely we can't actually harm a trans man, it doesn't count.)

But yeah I fully assume the reason TRFs say no one ever harasses tmascs but that they harass tfems all the time is because they simply do not think harassing trans people is wrong so long as it's directed at the correct target. I mean why would the "trans men don't have real problems" crowd ever actually say anything nice about them or help them when they're being harassed or tell their followers to leave them alone? It's just really sad to watch, big tmasc bloggers are not harassing people the way the TRFs want everyone to think, and they certainly don't harass other trans people the way TRFs do, but they get burdened with the harassment accusations and no one thinks to even check if that's actually what's happening.

10/10, I have nothing to add.

[mypoisonedvine]

Why aren’t u writing anymore

oh where do I begin

lost inspiration

moved across the globe, got a full-time job (something I only had for about 2-3 years out of around 6 I spent writing)

started to naturally gravitate towards longer and more complex stories which take way more time and energy to complete than one shots

started to feel like I'd written so much it was hard to come up with anything new/everything I wrote (especially the smut parts) began to feel formulaic

engagement on tumblr kept decreasing, while demand and hate went up

more than half the engagement writers get is just being asked for more (we need a part 2! write for this character next! when will you write my request?)

massive influx of minors and blank blogs

curt and mildly entitled anons... case in point

but to be clear, I never consider myself truly done with fic, I'm just on a really... really long hiatus...

there was a time that I was posting twice a week PLUS sleepovers, I'll always be so grateful for the love and support I got then. sometimes my perfectionist side tries to convince me that if I can't be that level of productive, there's no point in trying. I know that's not true but it's a hard line of thinking to get out of.

[nanabansama]

Tsukasa Is Tsukasa

Recently I discovered a poll asking if people thought the Supernatural Tsukasa and the Red House Tsukasa were different, and the results surprised me! A majority of voters thought they were not the same. Not only that, but I've seen many people in the fandom start believing they are separate people, if they hadn't already believed it before.

I think this stance can very easily be explained by the scene in Chapter 111 where Amane comes to the conclusion that the Tsukasa who went missing isn't the same as the one who came back:

While people might be divided on the details, the conclusion is basically the same: whatever that is inside of him, it's not Amane's brother.

And I can see why they think this! In fact, it used to be a popular theory back during the release of chapters 78-82 when we didn't know the specifics of what happened. Heck, we still don't know many of the specifics...and many people continued believing the Tsukasas were different anyway!

There's decent evidence to support this, too. When Tsukasa returned, he had sharp teeth and supernatural powers. He knew that Kunishige's wish was that the head priest would die. He's demonstrably different from the innocent little Tsukasa that sacrificed his life for Amane.

If that wasn't enough, even his own mom came to the conclusion that Tsukasa wasn't her son! This is basically the same conclusion Amane comes to in Chapter 111. That's 2/3 of Tsukasa's family members thinking some evil entity is larping around in his skin--not a good look!

In any case, while I could try and convince you guys there are two Tsukasas and the Tsukasas are different, that's not what I'm here to do. If you read my blog you already know I'm 100% on the side that Tsukasa is Tsukasa and always has been, and nothing AidaIro has shown me so far has been convincing enough to change my mind. In this post, I am here to argue that the Red House Tsukasa is the same as the Supernatural Tsukasa and that he merely works in tandem with the ancient god living inside him.

1. Chapter 82

This is the chapter when a lot of people dropped the theory that there are two Tsukasas, including me. (Yes, I used to believe there were two Tsukasas--people change!)

Kou and Nene had determined that the Red House Tsukasa was the real Tsukasa and that the one Amane killed was a fake. They come to this conclusion because this Tsukasa was trapped in the Red House for 50 years and acts a lot nicer and sweeter than the one we know.

The issue is, Kou tells this Tsukasa that Amane is going to kill Tsukasa and die at the age of 13...and unbeknownst to Kou, the seemingly innocent little Red House Tsukasa is EXCITED at the idea! Tsukasa, thankful to Kou and Nene, helps them escape the house but stays behind. This scene is when a lot of cool stuff happens.

First, we learn that Tsukasa wasn't actually trapped in the Red House and he always knew how to get back home, but that he never left because he was worried about what would happen to Amane. However, once Kou told him that Amane wasn't happy after Tsukasa left and that Amane kills not just Tsukasa but also himself, Tsukasa realizes he doesn't know that much about Amane and wants to learn more. The most shocking part of this scene to me was that Tsukasa's excitement at dying was very similar to the lighthearted way the Supernatural Tsukasa brings up his death with Amane.

Second, we see Tsukasa not only has the entity he sacrificed himself to to save Amane stored in his chest, but that he holds a conversation with it.

The entity being shown in his chest is actually a popular argument for the "Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa" theory, but I feel this scene proves otherwise. Tsukasa is not the unwilling host of this entity, as one might expect, but instead almost treats it as a friend. They have a sort of symbiotic relationship going on, and Tsukasa makes the decision to go back wholly of his own, despite them both knowing how to get back the entire time. He even says "let's go back TOGETHER," which supports the idea that they work together and that it isn't simply piloting a Tsukasa meat puppet.

We can argue Tsukasa is the victim to the entity's machinations, that the entity needed Tsukasa to do it willingly or that the entity took full control of Tsukasa after he succumbed to the flames or what not and tricked him, but so far AidaIro has only shown cooperation between these two characters. It's not unreasonable to suggest that Tsukasa gaining supernatural powers after he comes back isn't a sign that he's a different being entirely but that he's just working with one.

2. Mother Doesn't Always Know Best

This one will be a quick section, but considering Mother Yugi is basically the origin of "Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa" I wanted to cover why I think she's wrong.

In Chapter 79 Kunishige recounts how Mother Yugi took Tsukasa to their shrine because she thought her son was possessed by a demon after being spirited away. Kunishige thinks she's crazy at first, and so do the priests, who find nothing wrong with Tsukasa. Put a pin in that btw.

However, Kunishige later learns she was onto something because Tsukasa is not only an incredibly unsettling child but he correctly predicts the death of the head priest of the shrine and tells Kunishige his wish, for the head priest to disappear, would be granted tomorrow. This proves Tsukasa has otherworldly power, since he knows Kunishige's wish without Kunishige telling him, and also might have the ability to grant wishes, something the entity in his chest is shown to be capable of.

Now, I personally think the fact that the priests found nothing wrong with Tsukasa is HUGELY in favor of my theory. I understand how you can argue that the entity somehow avoided detection because it's powerful, or because there was nothing left of the original Tsukasa or something, but I still think the fact the priests detected nothing wrong is extremely weird. What if that's because Tsukasa is still in control?

I think the fact Mother Yugi was convinced Tsukasa isn't her son and wasn't persuaded otherwise is important, too. In fact, I think it might directly correlate with the conclusion Amane makes in Chapter 111. I think Amane is more or less coming to the same conclusion his mother made, something he hadn't wanted to believe at first but eventually, finally, succumbed to. I have to imagine his mother's insistence that Tsukasa wasn't Tsukasa left a big impression on Amane, and it's something that's bothered him for years.

I can't exactly blame them both, either. By the time Tsukasa came back, he'd lost a lot of his innocence. Keep in mind that they think Tsukasa was gone for six months. Any normal 4-year-old kid might have been traumatized by leaving his family for six months, but Tsukasa just acts creepy and possessed. And despite him meeting Nene and Kou 50 years in the future, it's possible it really was only six months for Tsukasa! Time worked differently there. Still, it's not hard to see how the extreme circumstances he was in might have changed him. Not only was he stuck in a haunted death house, he later learns the wish he granted for Amane wasn't Amane's true wish and that Amane kills Tsukasa. This is all pretty life-changing information, and when you tack on the fact that he's buddy-buddy with an ancient man-eating god, it's really not that surprising Tsukasa has changed so dramatically, especially when he's still at the tender age of 4.

3. Behavior

For something that's supposedly replaced Tsukasa entirely, it certainly gets very personal with Amane, doesn't it?

I said before that Red House Tsukasa in Chapter 82 acts similar to Supernatural Tsukasa. How they find delight in death. But I don't think this is the only point of similarity between them, either. In Chapter 81, Red House Tsukasa is under the impression that Amane hates him.

In Chapter 111, after Amane tells Tsukasa he hates him, Tsukasa tells him he already knew that.

Mind you, this line comes seconds before Amane comes to the conclusion that Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa.

Think about it. Tsukasa tells Amane that he knows Amane hates him, echoing a sentiment that the Red House Tsukasa shares. And Amane, after hearing this, comes to the conclusion that this Tsukasa is an impostor.

Isn't that... really sad?! I mean, I'm not going to say that Amane's whole reasoning for Tsukasa being a fake is that he thinks Amane hates him, but...before this scene, Amane was saying he couldn't destroy his yorishiro because he cared about Tsukasa too much. And for Tsukasa to say something he's thought ever since Amane pushed him as a little kid, and for THAT to make Amane say he thinks Tsukasa is fake... it really shows they've never understood each other at all.

Tsukasa's never been shown to get extremely upset about being hated by Amane, either, so you can't say Amane is right just because Tsukasa is laughing in Chapter 111. Tsukasa initially seems shocked when he was pushed, and overall seems a little sad about it in Chapter 81, but he still remarks that Amane hates him with a smile. He's selfless about it. And later, when he learns Amane kills him, this feeling gets more complex. Despite Kou's attempts to convince him otherwise, I think Kou's reveal only made Tsukasa more convinced that Amane hates him, and this is shown in Chapter 111 when he laughs about it. It's just a funny joke to him at this point.

I...genuinely cannot reconcile this behavior with Tsukasa being a fake. I just can't! Why would the entity be this personal with Amane? Why would it share opinions that the supposedly "real" Tsukasa had? If AidaIro really is trying to write a story about a little boy being replaced by a supernatural entity, then they could at least do a better job of making them act different. TBHK makes it clear that supernaturals can experience human emotions just as strongly as actual humans, so it wouldn't surprise me if the god has its own personality and feelings, but for them to just...be the exact same as the human it replaced? I'm not buying it.

There is no difference between the Red House Tsukasa and the Supernatural Tsukasa that can't be explained away by the fact that people change as they grow older. Everything about Tsukasa's character arc as I've presented it is completely logical.

Conclusion

With so little info on the ancient man-eating god, it's kind of impossible to reach a proper conclusion at this point. All we really know about its personality is that it hungers for flesh and will grant any wish in exchange for it. With this in mind, it's incredibly easy to see why people think the god and Supernatural Tsukasa are one and the same, especially when the cast tends to treat them as such. I could just as easily write a post in favor of them being different as I could of them being the same.

And I think this is what AidaIro ultimately wants! I think AidaIro wants us to second guess ourselves. If I know anything about Aidairo, it's that they like to keep up on our toes and shock us with surprising twists. Who really knows what they have hiding up their sleeves?

Still, I feel the theory that the god replaced Tsukasa raises more questions than answers, and I hope I managed to explain my side of things.

[fangirlfrom-hell]

"My daddy has to fight some bad guys". || Jay Halstead x reader and daughter

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

You woke up earlier than everybody in your house to get everything ready for everyone. Jay would usually follow you a few minutes later and you two would make breakfast and get your daughter ready for school together, along with other morning stuff. This wasn't the day, your husband had fallen asleep and you were doing everything by yourself, trying not to make a lot of noise. You knew he was working a tough case and had come back quite late from work the night before, so you didn't want to wake him up. Even when he didn't want to admit it, he was tired as hell and needed to rest.

You were in the kitchen starting to cook breakfast when you felt his arms hugging you from the back.

-"Did I wake you up?" You asked. -"I was trying not to".

-"I didn't feel you by my side and I couldn't fall asleep again". He answered into your ear and then kissed your neck as he continued talking. -"I'm sorry I haven't been around. We closed this case last night, what's left is a bunch of paperwork. My hope is to be back home early tonight and...". You turned around to hug him back and interrupted him with a short kiss. He rushed to finish his sentence with a heavy breathing : "...I can make it up for you", then proceeded to tenderly kiss your lips as he held you as tight as he could with one of his arms, while fervently holding your head with his other hand, finger all tangled in your hair, pulling it a bit.

Due to the case Jay was working on, you two had barely seen each other during the last week and a half, so things were heating up fast. Suddenly, for both of your displeasure, an alarm interrupted the moment.

-"Time to wake her up". You said having trouble separating from him.

-"I'll go". Jay took your phone to turn off the alarm. -"I'm driving her to school too".

-"Hey, Jay!" You took his hand before letting him leave the room. -"You do remember her Father's Day Festival, right?".

-"Next friday, 10:30, sure".

-"I was thinking...maybe you should talk to her and explain that...of course you will be there, but if you are not able to make it is due to your work".

-"But I will be there".

-"I know, I know, it's just...we never know when a case might pop up. Remember the Spring Festival?".

-"Oh. The bank robbery right before it...".

-"Yes, that's what I mean. That time was easy because I was there, but this time I won't...".

-"I will talk to her". He said after a few seconds of silence. -"But I'll be there, no matter what".

That day, Tessa and her class made a craft for their fathers. All the little kids were drawing in a small paper square that would become a keychain for Father's Day. Some of them were drawing hearts, others were doing stick figures. Tessa drew her dad carrying her over his shoulders and a bunch of hearts around. Her artwork was a little abstract, but understandable for a 5 year old.

-"All right". Ms. Luna said in a sweet voice. Tessa really loved her teacher. -"I am going to take your drawings and we will give them back to our dads as a key chain during the festival!".

-"My daddy said he will come, but he's working and if he doesn't show up it is because he has to fight some bad guys. Bad guys don't respect days or time". Tessa rushed to repeat what Jay tried to explain to her earlier in the morning when he was taking her to school.

-"It's ok". Her teacher laughed a bit. -"Sometimes parents can't make it and it's ok. That doesn't mean they don't want to or that they don't love us".

The class rehearsed the song they would sing at intervals throughout the rest of the day. Tessa never missed the opportunity to repeat the information going around her head: "My dad said he's coming, but if he's not here it means he's working" or "My daddy is fighting the bad guys and bad guys they don't respect days or time" or "He will be here, but if he's not here, that means he's on the streets. He makes Chicago safe". Her friends were amazed whenever she repeated those statements. She did understand what her father told her, but she didn't really comprehend.

The day was here. You dropped Tessa at school, she was all excited. Before she entered the building you reminded her: "If it happens that daddy is not here or he's late, remember he's fighting the bad guys".

Jay was already in the bullpen, everything was strangely calmed. He had talked with Voight about going out to Tessa's school and he gladly agreed.

-"Today is the day isn't it?" Hailey asked Jay as she entered the coffee room.

-"Yeah". He smirked. -"If nothing else intervenes".

-"Let's stay positive". She said remembering what had happened last Spring Festival.

It was 8:30, the day had just started when Trudy came upstairs with an urgent case.

-"That's just my luck". Jay said, rushing downstairs with his partner.

-"Let's try to make it quick". Hailey answered by putting on her coat.

At school, the kids were getting ready to go outside to start the festival. Parents were gathering outside of the building, waiting to get inside.

Students from all schools were lining up around the court. Their parents were supposed to meet them and be in front of their kid's group to hear them sing.

-"Is your dad here?" One of Tessa's friends asked.

-"I can't see him". She answered standing on tiptoe. -"But it's ok, it's because he had to fight the bad guys".

All the kids waved their fathers with excitement, some of them ran to hug them before starting the show. Jay didn't make it, but Tessa wasn't feeling bad about it...yet.

When the song finished, all the kids jumped into their fathers arms and gave them the craft they made in class as a gift for them. Tessa stood in her place, not being able to hold her tears. She was crying in silence, so between the noise and excitement around the little girl, nobody noticed her until a few minutes later. As soon as her teacher saw her, she ran towards her and hugged her tight.

-"It's ok, honey. It's ok. Your dad wanted to be here with you". She said in a very sweet and calmed voice. -"Remember he is fighting the bad guys, you said that before ''.

Some parents were moved watching the scene, but there was nothing they could do. Ms. Johnson, the school's principal, noticed the situation from afar and she joined as soon as she could. By only moving her lips, trying not to be heard, she asked Tessa's teacher if the little girl's father wasn't there. She shaked her head in disapproval when the teacher answered with a sorry face.

-"We can call your dad, Tess. That way you can hear his voice".

-"But, Ms. Johnson, he's fighting the bad guys". Ms. Luna intervened.

-"Oh!" She understood. -"Ok, but we can call him later, we'll tell him to come so you can give him your present. Would you like that?".

The little girl was an emotional mess, but agreed with her head, even though she wasn't really listening to what the adults were saying.

The emergency call for the intelligence team ended up in a shooting and that delayed detective Halstead. As soon as he finished with interviews and all the bureaucracy after this kind of situation, he ran off.

-"Go, go, go". Hailey rushed. -"I cover you".

Jay drove his truck as fast as he could, siren on. It wasn't a police emergency, but it was an emergency after all, he could deal with the consequences later. He parked in the first spot he found, even if it wasn't merely in front of the school and ran as fast as he could in a police mode to get to his baby girl. It was until he entered the building that he noticed he was still wearing the vest, gun and badge on his hip, but didn't care.

-"There he is!" Ms. Johnson pointed to Tessa's father.

-"Come on! Come on!" Ms. Luna took the little girl's hand and started running towards her dad.

-"I'm so sorry". Jay took Tessa in his arms and carried her holding her as tight as he could. She was too emotionally drained to react.

Kids around were already saying goodbye to their parents, going back to their classrooms.

-"We'll give you some time alone". Ms. Johnson informed Jay and he muttered a "thank you".

-"You can go back to the classroom when you feel ready". Ms. Luna told her student.

-"I hate the bad guys". Tessa managed to say when they were finally alone.

-"Me too". Her father said. -"I'm really, really sorry I didn't hear you sing, but I'm here right now". He wiped the tears from her cheeks.

-"I did it real good, you missed it". She said playing with the key chain in her hands.

-"I bet you did". Jay chuckled. -"What do you have there?".

-"It's a present for you. I made it for you". She extended her short arm to give it to her dad.

-"For me? Is it for my keys? I love it!"

-"It's you and me and lots of hearts. I drew it myself".

-"I can see that. It's beautiful. Thank you, sweetie". Jay's phone started ringing and he sighed when he read the text messages.

-"I have to go back to work".

-"But I don't want you to go". She started crying again.

Ms. Johnson came into the scene to help Tessa go back to her class" -"Daddy has to go back to work, sweetie. Ms. Luna and your friends are waiting for you, let's go". And she took her tenderly in her arms as her crying grew louder.

-"It's all right". Jay reassured her with a kiss. -"I love you. I'll see you at home, ok?". And she disappeared through the door.

He peeked through the classroom window to check on her before departing. He witnessed how Ms. Luna was successfully calming her down and felt a little bit more relaxed to go.

-"Thank you for coming". Ms. Johnson told him with a smile. -"For real".

With a heavy heart, he got into his truck and before turning it on, he hung the keychain in his keys. He inspected the tiny drawing and smiled before going back to the bullpen.

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a ♡, comment or share. 😌♡

[cripplecharacters]

This isn't my character, but I was playing a game where a character is physically disabled and using a wheelchair. She got into a car crash and suffered from nerve damage, resulting in both of her legs being paralysed. Her doctor told her she could walk again if she underwent a rehabilitation program, but she refused.

Prior to her car crash, she had lost her best friend, and had attempted to bury her grief in her work, becoming more demanding and difficult, which resulted in her co-workers disliking her attitude. The car crash that left her disabled was caused by her running over a red light in the middle of her stress and frustration.

After the accident, she reflected on herself and worked on becoming a better and more reasonable person to work with. Hence, the reason of her decision to refuse rehabilitation is to have her loss of her legs to serve as an anchor to remind herself not to lose herself in her own world and to neglect the feelings of the people around her.

It has been written that her disability doesn't affect her career (she's a film director), and she's still a successful person when we're introduced to her.

Still, I wanted to ask if having a character refuse rehabilitation for their disability a bad writing choice? And if a character wanting to stay disabled to remind themselves of an important life experience harmful to the disabled community in any way?

Hello!

I'm not familiar with the game you're referring to but from the sound of it, it seems to be falling into the Disability as Punishment trope.

The issue isn't necessarily with the character declining rehabilitation. Disabled people decline treatment options all the time for a variety of reasons. Maybe they aren't comfortable with the risks or side effects of the treatment, maybe the treatment process isn't feasible for their lifestyle, maybe they've tried other options and just don't want to keep going with it.

The problem with this case is the context around why the character declines the treatment/rehabilitation. We've talked a lot about the Disability as Punishment trope in the past (you can find some of these posts by scrolling through the #disability as punishment tag).

I'm hesitant to speak more about this specific case for a few reasons. The first is that, as mentioned, I'm unfamiliar with the source media and I don't know anything about the context besides what you've mentioned. Without knowing the full story, I can't tell you if it's a "bad" writing choice or not. The other reason is that we're a blog for writing advice -- not media reviews -- and I'd like to keep this as on topic as possible.

That said, there are a few things to consider if you want to make similar writing choices in your own work.

The first is what kind of message you may be sending, either intentionally or unintentionally. Is disability being portrayed as a "fair punishment" for the character's actions or is their decision something that is shown as being fueled by their grief? Does their decision end up changing at all or do they feel any regret about their decision?

I think this kind of thing (a character declining rehabilitation because they want to remind themself to be better) has potential to work in stories dealing with growth, acceptance, and grief but I'd be skeptical if it's just something in the background that's never addressed.

It's also worth exploring why the character would make this rather drastic decision. It feels odd to me that somebody would make this decision simply to "remind themself" not to do something and punish themself for doing it in the first place.

It feels very trivializing to those of us that didn't get a choice in the matter.

But yeah, without knowing more about the context and the character, I can't say much about the media itself. I'd suggest taking a look through the Disability as Punishment tag, though. It has some helpful information and answers to similar asks.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[scottxlogan]

The down side to being a fanfic author/fan artist

Look, I know we've all heard it before but since fandom is slowly fading away to things like AI and people simply not leaving likes/comments it's getting to the point that it's turning away people behind fan works simply because there is no engagement anymore. Each one of us has our own process, so I can't speak for everyone, but with me when I create a fanfic for example, I get an idea, get excited about an idea, write out the idea/chapter and then go through an editing process that used to be a one time thing where I detail something and change things around, but often I find myself editing a few times to make the work the best it can be. This is a very time consuming process that often has me shying away from being super social when it comes to chatting because I'm trying to put together something that I'm not only excited about, but I'm also excited to share with others.

After all that work is done, I post it, then make sure to let everyone know it's there, taking the time to share it on Tumblr, discord, etc. and then I find myself filled with a sense of accomplishment and excitement hoping that people love the work as much as I do. I know it's silly but that moment of posting if filled with excitement/nervousness because you never know how something will land, but you're hoping it does well.

Then 24 hours pass and you see there are views, but minimal to no likes/kudos or comments and then you think "well maybe I posted it at the wrong time and it just didn't hit the right audience." Or maybe I should put out a regular schedule or that maybe I shouldn't post WIPs until they are complete since I know a lot of people WON'T READ a story until it's complete, which hey I get it. Books are like that. You get the whole experience and you don't want to be left hanging. I mean sure it makes sense but for me as a fanfic author (who isn't a paid professional author) sometimes in the past I'd do WIPs and it was the feedback that I received from readers that shaped and formed the story itself beyond my idea because it gave me even more food for thought to create. Now that kind of feedback simply isn't there. There's no reaction and it's quite frankly disheartening.

Case in point I had people BEG ME to write a sequel to a one shot I wrote recently and I told myself if I got 4 comments (just 4 which really isn't much) on the story I would do it. Fortunately, as luck would have it I got more than four comments and a bunch of people excited by the possibility of a story. So then I wrote it, posted the first couple chapters of a sequel and by chapter 2 there is one amazing reader (who is honestly the best and a reason why I continue to write in that particular fandom) who left an awesome comment/feedback but beyond that NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and like this is a story that I've already written 4 and 1/2 chapters on because people were so excited for it, yet when I post there's nothing. I get people are busy and life is busy but when it's getting over a lot of hits and people are seeing it, it makes me question what's going on here? Like are people just turned off by the idea of an unfinished WIP or just turned off by something longer than 1000 words? It's hard to sort it all out and a bit frustrating that no one is trying to make an effort to let writers (not just me) know how much they like the work.

TBH I just don't get it and for those who are lucky enough to get engagement I'm happy for you, but I don't for the life of me understand why no one wants to get involved with fandom anymore. If I make a post on Tumblr about a story even though I have THOUSANDS of followers on this blog alone it gets like 4-10 notes most of the time (if I'm lucky) and it's usually my closest friends just trying to show support for my efforts. This also applies to if I make an art piece, which by the way takes just as much time to create if not more, and it's starting to really depress me in general. I see so many fan arts out there and I would NEVER claim to be one of the best as there are so many beautiful artists, but I know my art isn't complete trash either. Sure, I'm a WIP myself as an artist, but when I reblog other people's art it gets them a LOT of notes and reblogs because, well, as I mentioned before I have THOUSANDS of followers who do look at art and do see what I post, so I'm not quite clear on why anything I post never lands with the audience when it's the same subject. I mean honestly it can't be that bad people. My art is just as valid as anyone else's (as is my fanfic for that matter) and the fact that I'm not getting any engagement is so disheartening. It doesn't matter what fandom I'm doing art or fanfic for I'm getting little to no engagement and I simply don't get it.

Again I'm not trying to whine, but I just sit back and see people praising other authors/artists and how great their works are and both of mine slip under the radar after hours of effort. I even got to the point that I told my sister today that I've set a number for myself in terms of feedback I receive this month and if I don't find myself getting that quota (which tbh is so ridiculously low that given all my fanfics I have written it shouldn't be an issue) that I'm going to quit writing and doing fandom art because it's clear no one really cares whether it's out there or not. if they did, I feel as if they'd let me know it and no one is, so at this point I feel like I'm very close to being done beyond the obligations I still have because while sure I do it for myself, I also did it for the community and if the community isn't interested in what I have to contribute and makes me feel like my contributions are invalid and unimportant, then what's the point? I mean really it's just sad in general and I'm well aware no one is going to probably read all of this either but it's just where I'm at.

[ask-tay-relic]

(* steal the microphone from the stuck-in-ponyville*)

Dude, dude.

Are you colorblind? I had no idea! Amazing. I would never say that looking at your work. For someone who is colorblind, you have an amazing sense of color!

Although, I have no idea how colorblindness works from a colorblind person's perspective.

So there will be a bunch of questions below that you don't have to answer if you don't want to) Especially if you've already answered them somewhere, and I missed them.

(*points the microphone in your direction*)

What type of colorblindness do you have? To what degree? How does it manifest itself (how do you feel it)? What colors do you not distinguish, confuse, or, on the contrary, distinguish better? What is your favorite color?! (Let me fool around a bit))

How do you choose colors? Do you use any special techniques or does someone help you?

Is this disease congenital or acquired?

Overall, can you tell me a little more about what it's like to be you. And how the process of creating your work goes.

Let me remind you that you don't have to answer any of these questions. I'm just a chatty fool)

The main thing I want to say is that I have the deepest respect for you for choosing a difficult path in life. And succeeding in it.

I don't mind questions at all! Colorblindness is, in general, a very 'Person-by-person' type of affliction as there's so many different ways that the human eye can read light/color. So this is in no way a Universal Stance on it and is 100% my own personal experience \o/ (Just in case such a thing needed to be said!)

To preface as well, I was born about 4 Months pre-mature, so my eyes are one side-effect of that! My father also had eye-problems, but due to (thankfully) losing contact with that family side 20+ years ago, I don't have that information.

Currently I am in the process of digging into this more, as I have been diagnosed with Keratoconus (which affects the cornea of the eye and will cause a type of blindness eventually, it's not fix-able just slowing it down) > I am also 'weird' cause it's only drastically affecting my Left Eye, when normally it's supposed to affect both equally! In late August I will be having a procedure for this (one of many I'm sure)

To short hand things! Due to birth (and Keratoconus) it's given me the starting stages of Anomalous Trichromacy/poor Saturation colorblindness. (This is the easiest way I can summarize this!) Some days it's better, some days it's worse, but that's due to how tired I am. But I rarely see them 'Naturally' as other people do (I did when I was pre-teen, but slowly it got worse until I was talking with my partner at about age 25 and said 'this [Yellow] is the same as [Orange]' and it made us look into how 'OH I'm colorblind'.)

It's difficult for me to get '100%' what I see, cause it's just a bit odd I suppose, but I have difficulty with hues in the Red/Green area (as in they kinda all seem to have an overlay to them sometimes.)

This also isn't touching about the saturation of a colour may make it be 'the same' as another, when they really aren't.

I'm not sure if this comes across but to me personally, these above are the 'Bright Colors' I would pick. I however, factually understand that's not the case, cause I can check the numbers/hue value in Clip Studio and adjust them. That's usually how I'll fix my colours later!

for the Pony Blog, I always correct in post, and I rarely draw without swatching (having them already set on my bar) the colors even if I've drawn something a hundred times. When doing commissions I'll always ask for a client to give me the colors specifically (Either through Google Image the hexcode, or a reference sheet > so I can use the color picking tool and swatch it)

(old Example of eyeball picked being different than his actual colors) It's always helpful that I can see the cursor move on the color wheel to know 'Oops! That's off!' > This memorization of 'Red = top leftish' and 'Blue = bottom' is how I function, and very very very often I'll send my work to friends/partners to ask for help!

I use lots of desaturated colors for this reason when drawing on my own, but it's mostly just cause it 'Looks Bright' to me, when it isn't!

(And some of my non-pony work sketch) with the colors I draw with passively (Left) and the ones that are adjusted. You can assume anything I post has been 'corrected' for like an hour straight of just color editing.

Overall, when browsing the internet, I am very quick to notice when I cannot 'See' something. This usually is when people put handwritten text onto their comics without breaking it from the background, or colored texts in general I have difficulty with sometimes. It's somewhat hard to explain! I hope that post-surgery I'll have more colour sight back, but likely it's just going to keep getting worse and I'm okay with that.

Though! I will say that recently I've been trying to not 'fear' being wrong about my colours (As it was a point early in my drawing time on the internet, that people would come to my askbox and tell me rudely I was doing things wrong, which ended with me deleting the works) But in my break of studies I've started to just let things be however I see them even if they're 'incorrect'. (I'll include some of those under the cut at the bottom cause they're non-pony / graphic horror-esq content)

Thank you for asking! I hope this makes sense and comes across well!

Also! My favourite color is Yellow! Like a Dandelion!

[Edit;; TUMBLR WON'T LET IT BE BELOW A CUT I DO APOLOGIZE]

--- (they're from personal work/Novel work)

[phyllisamaryllis]

Quick question regarding one of your reposts.

What makes you think that Annabeth would stop Percy from having his depressive thoughts?

Like yeah, I agree we can't blame her for Percy's mental state/thought process into the poison drowning scenario but she's not really completely washed out of fault?

Percy, who only ever wanted to be a normal guy, who was just desperately trying to protect himself and his girlfriend, was treated as a monster when he did. His gf instead of being happy that he's not dying anymore/dead is more focused on how terrified she was OF him, rather than, idk being happy that they are both okay?

Like, wouldn't that affect someone very badly? Realistically speaking? You try your darnest to keep yourself and someone you love safe only for that someone to essentially condemn you for doing that. When you were literally delirious in pain and dying. And just trying to survive and protect her too.

And in a world where it's either they get killed or others do, what was the logic/wisdom behind asking Percy to never do something like that again?

Idk, tbf, I genuinely do think that Annabeth is too self-absorbed to even notice that Percy might have some issues in this regard in the first place. And even if she does, and he speaks to her about it, she won't know what to do with it because in this entire series, it's always Percy comforting Annabeth— never the other way around.

Or worse yet, would see it as an attack/Percy telling her she did something wrong when Percy was only opening up/telling her how he felt.

Idk, pls let me know if you think otherwise though. I do see that you're pretty into the Percabeth/Annabeth crit side of tumblr sp ig it's a bit intriguing to see you defend Annabeth in that post. (Again, which I agree with but also, huh, this would be an interesting convo)

I think I know which repost that is though I deleted it sometime ago. This is going to be a long answer, so I'm putting it under a read more not to clog your feed up.

MY TUMBLR HISTORY

I'm going to digress here and tell you more about my tumblr history, which is necessary for this post to make sense.

The thing is, I joined Tumblr less than a year ago and I soon got into the anti Percabeth/anti Annabeth Chase discourse without looking at both sides.

Back then, I was pretty naive and barely questioned what I saw at all. I just ate up those sometimes unconvincing (and frankly ridiculous at some points) arguments. I just ate them up and made posts that supported them without really thinking my stance through.

It was only recently that I actually started to question if all the anti Percabeth and anti Annabeth Chase content that I'd been consuming and I found out that hey, not all of it is true!

I thought and called Annabeth abusive which is not the case-I think she's toxic and their relationship is unhealthy at some points, but there's a difference between toxic and abusive.

By then, a lot of damage had already been done and I felt pretty embarrassed at some of my posts which I deleted, though they had been reblogged, so I couldn't fully wipe them off. If you see a post that you don't like from me, please come and check my blog for it because chances are that I've deleted it.

The thing to be said is that I've learnt a valuable lesson on tumblr-that I should look at both sides before rashly posting and that I should really remain neutral and not blindly jump into one side without questioning their points and critically thinking about it.

WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT PERCABETH?

Ok, moving on from that-I'm hesitant to call Percabeth abusive.

I do think that the judo flip and bringing up Rachel to keep him on his toes are abuse, but abusive is a pretty strong word which is why I still don't call it abusive, though I understand why you would.

I still, however, think that it's toxic at many points. Yes, there's a difference between toxic and abusive.

REGARDING YOUR ASK

What makes you think Annabeth would stop Percy from having his depressive thoughts?

Well, canon makes a pretty good argument for this.

See, the thing is-Percy loves Annabeth. He loves her wholly, truly, completely. His love is enormous, gigantic-like the raging sea, like a blazing fire, like a calm, sunny afternoon.........eh, I'm getting poetic here, but he really, really loves her. He loves her like he's nothing loved anything before (not even Sally. I'm sorry, but the books just don't expand on Percy-Sally as much as they devote time to Percy-Annabeth).

When she comes into a room, he lights up instantly and wants to meet her. He loves her and she's not his entire world, but she's the hugest portion of it. She was with him all throughout, she's seen him at his most vulnerable (I think) she's just.........irreplaceable at this point.

Percy loves her and she loves him. They love each other and are happy with each other (because yes, you can still love someone and be toxic with them. And you can have happy moments with someone and still have a toxic relationship with them. These two are entirely possible.)

The thing about toxic relationships is that it's extremely complicated. It's not just black and white-it's varying shades of gray.

You think that toxic relationships are constantly miserable, which can be true for some of them, but a lot of toxic relationships have their happy and angry moments.

That's why people stay in them. If it was constantly bad, they'd say, 'Nope I'm out of here' but since there are plenty of good moments, they think- 'No, we can make this work, this won't happen again, it's not that bad, I can give them a second chance' multiple times.

Your toxic partner can make you anxious, but they can also make you pretty happy. They can make you feel black and white at different times. Annabeth makes Percy feel scared multiple times, but she also makes him feel warm and fuzzy and happy and content, which is entirely fitting for a toxic relationship.

So yes, Annabeth can make Percy stop having depressive thoughts, at least for intervals until he lapses back again (based on what we've seen from the books so far).

Like yeah, I agree we can't blame her for Percy's mental state/thought process into the poison drowning scenario but she's not really completely washed out of fault?

Percy, who only ever wanted to be a normal guy, who was just desperately trying to protect himself and his girlfriend, was treated as a monster when he did.

His gf instead of being happy that he's not dying anymore/dead is more focused on how terrified she was OF him, rather than, idk being happy that they are both okay?

Ok, anon, here is where I am going to become pro Annabeth Chase which is probably going to give you whiplash, so I'm just going to warn you.

Annabeth's reaction was entirely realistic and understandable and there was nothing wrong with it. Yes, that's what I'm saying and I will stick to it (go ahead and debate if you want to, though. I'm open to that).

They were in Tartarus. Literal hell. Their surroundings were horrible, it was grim and there was a huge chance that they would not survive. How could she be happy in those circumstances? Let's keep in mind that a goddess just got horribly tortured in front of her. Really badly tortured.

And her boyfriend is doing it-and he's terrifying her with his look and he's reminding her of Luke, whom she loved so badly, who rebelled against the gods, who was so angry and then he died and Annabeth is just so terrified right now.

Blaming her for not being happy that her boyfriend survived and for crying because of everything that happened is extremely dense and imbecilic.

Of course, the fact that she's angry at Percy for making her feel scared when he was just trying to save both of them and was at his wits' end is questionable on her part. He was just trying to save both of them and did not mean to scare her just like she didn't mean to make him feel suicidal (which, again, is not her fault.)

I would've made her feel grateful but also feel angry and have an internal struggle because of that. Percy saved her, he saved both of them and they got out of Tartarus, so why is she angry at him?

But Luke. He looked like Luke. And he was so angry and he was choking a goddess, he was turning against her, even if the goddess was trying to kill them-he went against the divine gods, just like Luke. And look what happened to Luke. Luke shouldn't have done that. Percy shouldn't have done that. But they both did it for the greater good. And look what happened to Luke. And what will happen to Percy?

You get my drift. Of course, I understand Annabeth's reaction in Tartarus, but the fact that she was angry at him afterwards (out of Tartarus) is questionable and could have been written better.

Like, wouldn't that affect someone very badly? Realistically speaking?

Yes, it would affect them! And it does affect him because he feels horrible and tries to commit suicide. And he never actually thinks about this and it's never brought up again and no one ever talks about it because Rick is a coward.

You try your darndest to keep yourself and someone you love safe only for that someone to essentially condemn you for doing that. When you were literally delirious in pain and dying. And just trying to survive and protect her too.

Annabeth did tie Percy's hand behind his back by asking him to not use his powers again, but she didn't condemn him-rather, he condemned himself.

I want to emphasize that Percy's suicide attempts and horrible feelings were not Annabeth's fault nor would she have wanted him to feel that way. The fact that Percy didn't use his powers again is not fully Annabeth's fault.

We can't blame either of them here. Doing that would take away from the greyness and nuance of the situation. Yes, Annabeth asked Percy not to use his powers, but in the context of the situation, we can't blame her and her reaction. Yes, Percy was foolish to follow her orders and do what he did, but using something that horrible when someone you love asks you not to, when you feel horrible that you made them feel horrible, even though it wasn't Percy's fault and he had to do what he had to do.

Their feelings overpowered them and emotion took control over logic and we can't blame either of them since they're two traumatised teenagers who just got out of a horrible situation and their feelings are all over the place and.......nothing comes of it.

Nothing comes of it because Rick is a terrible writer at this point. He never expanded on this or even gave it any thought at all. They never have a scene in which they talk about or discuss it or reflect on it and nothing is learned from it. Percy's attempts suicide and everything's fine. Annabeth doesn't think about the usefulness and gravity his powers and everything's fine. In COTG and WOTTG, Percy and Annabeth........they don't talk about it at all. Everything is fine.......even when it shouldn't be.

And in a world where it's either they get killed or others do, what was the logic/wisdom behind asking Percy to never do something like that again?

This part........yeah, there's no logic in that.

I would have had Annabeth think about Percy's poison powers and realise that they weren't morally bad-they were morally neutral. They could be used do to bad things, but they could also be used to do good things. The person who uses them is morally good or bad, not the powers themselves.

I would also have her grapple with how she disliked them but how she realised that they were useful as well, because I think that her internal conflict about this would be very interesting to read.

Idk, tbf, I genuinely do think that Annabeth is too self-absorbed to even notice that Percy might have some issues in this regard in the first place.

I'm divided on this sentence. I think that she does love him, but half in a normal way, half in a weird, twisted way. Given the current state of their characterisation, when they're just ignoring everything, I don't think that they'd be able to talk it out-they'd just fight really bad and then go back to a false, toxic 'normal' state.

And even if she does, and he speaks to her about it, she won't know what to do with it because in this entire series, it's always Percy comforting Annabeth— never the other way around.

Or worse yet, would see it as an attack/Percy telling her she did something wrong when Percy was only opening up/telling her how he felt.

I think you're right about these last two ones. They really need communication therapy ASAP.

[gamerbot-22]

Hello, I hope you're doing well. Could you create a headcanon about how Vash would be with a reader girlfriend who is a Tsundere?

Explanation of Tsundere: A "Tsundere" is a character archetype often found in anime and manga. It describes someone who is initially cold, hostile, or indifferent towards someone they care about, but gradually shows a warmer, friendlier side over time.

Hi! I'm doing well, thanks! Still kinda recovering from a cold but I Got This. I hope you're doing well, too!

And you got it, estrela! (I hope I got that word right, I saw on your blog that you're Brazilian!) What a cute request!

Vash the Stampede x Tsundere Girlfriend Reader

TW/CWs: Vash and reader are in a romantic relationship, the reader is referred to as a girl/girlfriend and uses she/her pronouns, reader is described as being a bit mean at first but the dynamic gets worked out over time, Vash is a bit of a kicked puppy as always (/affectionate), written with TriStamp Vash in mind but feel free to slot any version you would prefer, barely proofread but I appreciate spellchecks.

A/N: So I've never actually gone out of my way to write tsunderes before! Usually it just kinda happens by accident lol. I hope this is what you were after!

Likes and Reblogs appreciated, Requests are Open, and it's all under the cut!

The dividers in this post were made by @/saradika ☆

So to be totally real, I don't think Vash would be phased all that much by a tsundere, considering his outlook. Like it might get a bit tiring on his mind if you're being especially prickly, but it's nothing he hasn't either seen before. Hell, it's milder than most cases!

All that to say, the Big Hurdle that comes from being interested in a lovely tsundere such as yourself is that he is. Deathly afraid of accidentally coming on too strong and making you uncomfortable. Like it's hard for him to tell where exactly your abrasiveness is coming from. Is it a coping mechanism? Is it something he did? Is this just how you are? If it's something he did, he wishes you would just tell him so he could apologize and make it up to you, but unless your behavior really wears down to a sore spot, he doesn't push you to talk about it.

Little does he know that all the times you call him a dumbass or get on his case for something or other, it's just your way of saying and showing you care without tipping anyone off (although if we're being real, I think Meryl would clock it pretty fast if she's around--) And it's hard sometimes because he has such a sweet face! And you kinda feel bad whenever his smile stops reaching his eyes as much and he excuses himself all quiet and shy. But also his pacifist attitude puts him in danger a lot of the time, and he seems to take undeserved punishment so easily, as if he really thinks he had it coming, and you want him to stand up for himself more!

I'm imagining that the relationship starts like. Right after one of those moments that sends him a few feet away from you out of respect. Like he starts to shift away in the sand, murmuring an apology and a "I'll get out of your hair" only for your feelings to just flow over until you're hauling him into a kiss and while he does kiss you back, when you both pull away he is. so confused. ("I thought you hated me!" "What?" "You called me all these names until now! I thought I did something wrong." "You didn't do anything wrong???" "Then why were you all mean to me?" "Well-- I mean-- Don't worry about that! I'm sorry!")

Once the relationship gets started though, Vash is super relieved and also pumped. He's got a girlfriend!! Yay!! And she's really cool and now he knows that the banter is a love language!! He gets a bit better at banter now that he knows that, leading to some really silly conversations and interactions over the coming relationship.

He also knows now that your attitude isn't meant to keep him away but is more part of a chase, kinda like how dogs will swat at each other or nip and then run off, hoping their target comes after them for some light-hearted wrastlin'. Thing is though, I don't think that's always how he rolls, so sometimes he'll just throw that out the window and go right for the throat (metaphorically) by being nice. Like he'll talk about how pretty you are and calls you things like "sweet girl," "angel," and the ever-beloved "mayfly," just to feel your face get all warm and hear your tongue get tied up. It's one of the cutest things in the world to him, and it usually ends with him pulling you into a hug and laughing an apology into your neck, which he knows only makes it worse.

This man loves you SO MUCH! Even if your way of showing it is different from how he does it. That's one of the things that makes you special, and he adores you for it.

[flightlessangelwings]

Late Nights

Neighbor!Steven Grant x gn!reader

Word count- 1.8k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), accidental voyeurism, masturbation, fingering, unprotected sex, praise, feelings, protective!Steven,fluff, no use of y/n

Notes- This check two things: part of my neighbor Steven Grant series and a box (praise kink) for @moonknight-events Bingo. And tho it's part of a series, I wrote all the parts so that they can stand on their own. This as been in my wips for so long and I'm so happy to finally have written it!! I've missed our dear Steven too! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so please follow that and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on new fics!

~

It was late, and Steven should have fallen asleep hours ago. Yet, he laid wide awake, his mind racing as he fiddled with his rubik's cube. Steven just couldn’t seem to get you out of his mind. He thought about you all day long- while he was at work, he wondered if you would like the exhibits he worked around. On the days he was lucky to pass you in the hallway on his way to his door, the image of your bright smile stayed with him well into the night. Even when he was in bed, Steven couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have you there with him, nuzzled in his arms.

He felt too nervous to make the first move, though. 

But, a sound from the other side of the wall made Steven gasp- it  was you. He heard you whimper and he immediately shot upright as his mind raced. Should he go over to you? Were you just having a nightmare? Or did something happen and you needed him?

As Steven pondered the options, he heard you cry out again, louder this time. His breath caught in his throat as you whined again, but this time it was different. Steven was sure he heard his name.

“I’m coming, love,” he whispered to himself as he jumped out of bed and grabbed the spare key you gave him in case of emergencies. 

Steven scrambled to his door and his hands trembled as he opened it. Bolting the short distance to your door, he gritted his teeth as he unlocked your door and burst inside in a rush. Shutting the door behind him, Steven ran across the space to your bed, scared that he would find you hurt or in trouble. 

But, what he found instead froze him in his tracks.

You were sprawled out on your bed, one hand cupping your chest, pinching your own nipple and the other between your legs. Your eyes were shut as your hand worked to pleasure yourself and you were lost in bliss until the sound of your name in Steven’s voice made your eyes snap open.

“Steven…” you gasped as you locked eyes with him.

The world felt like it was on fire, and as much as Steven knew he should leave, having caught you in a private and intimate moment, he couldn’t make himself move. It was as if you enthralled him, freezing him to the spot where he stood.

And you were flustered, covering yourself with the sheet as you realized you were so loud that you caught Steven’s attention. But, the way he looked at you made your heart pound. More than being embarrassed that he caught you pleasuring yourself, you felt your skin burn at the thought that he heard you cry out his name while he did so.

It felt like an eternity where neither of you moved, both too unsure of what to do or say to ease the tension in the room. It was Steven who finally moved first, though.

“I-I’m so sorry,” he stuttered as he covered his eyes and turned away, “I should go.”

“Wait,” you replied out of reflex.

Steven turned back to face you, his jaw tight and his eyes burning into your figure on the bed.

“Stay,” you whispered in a soft tone as you sat up and dropped the sheet, “Please stay,” your voice shook as your nerves overtook you, but you figured it was now or never.

He swallowed hard as his hands trembled, “Are- are you sure?” He sounded just as nervous.

“I’m sure,” you replied in a hushed tone as you kicked the sheet away, exposing yourself completely to him.

Steven felt his skin warm as he suddenly felt overdressed. He felt like he was in a dream, but if he was, he didn’t want to wake up. Moving before he realized it, he crossed the rest of the space and leaned forward, placing his hands on the foot of your bed. “Are you sure about this, love?” he asked again in a low tone as his eyes drank you in.

“Yes,” you breathed without hesitation.

Both of you were nervous, it was a bold move and uncharted territory for each of you. But, the need overtook the nerves. Slowly, Steven reached out for you, cupping your face tenderly in his hand. You let out the breath you held as you leaned into his touch. As his thumb brushed across your cheek, Steven also exhaled, “You’re so lovely.”

Your mouth parted as you gasped softly. Mirroring his action, you reached for him, grabbing his shirt and yanking him closer until your lips crashed together. Muffled groans echoed between you as you instantly deepened the kiss, and Steven’s hands roamed all over your bare figure. As you kissed him deeply, you tugged at his shirt, motioning for him to take it off.

“Let me see you too, Steven,” you whispered.

Steven let out a short laugh before he broke away to do as you asked. This time, it was your turn to gawk as your eyes roamed across his chest. You had always found him attractive from the moment you first met, but to see him shirtless before you made your heart flip in your chest.

“Wow…” you breathed.

He giggled nervously, “Wow to you too, darling,” he quipped.

That made you laugh as you pulled him close again, “Touch me, Steven,” you murmured as you guided him to crawl onto the bed so that he hovered over you.

Resting on your back, you looked up at Steven as his arms framed your face. The two of you froze again as you locked eyes, but this time it didn’t last. Steven was the first to move as he leaned forward and kissed you, taking the lead this time. His kiss was slow and soft, but you moaned into him as you felt his emotions in the kiss.

His hands roamed all over your body, running up and down your sides before cupping your chest. You broke the kiss to let out a louder moan as his hands ran across your nipples while he kneaded your chest.

“Steven…” you whimpered as you arched your back.

Encouraged by your moans, Steven’s hand ran down your body until one dipped between your legs. You gasped when you felt a finger at your entrance, making him pause.

“Keep going… please…” you begged.

“Can’t say no to you, love,” Steven smirked before he slowly pushed a finger into you and started to gently thrust in and out.

Your mouth dropped open as you cried out, “Steven… Feels so good…”

His eyes darkened at your words, and he couldn’t help but pick up his pace before he added a second finger, “You’re exquisite, darling.”

All you could do was moan as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, coating them in your slickness as he did so. His fingers filled you more than your own could, yet you still craved more. “Steven…” you pleaded, “Please… Need you…” you choked on your words, flustered at just how desperate you were. 

“Shit love,” he breathed, astonished that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

Carefully, Steven pulled his fingers out of you before he pushed his pants down to free his cock. His heart fluttered in his chest as your hungry eyes landed on his hardened length. Slowly, you peeled your eyes away and up his body, soaking in every inch of his skin before you met his gaze. Heat rose in the room as the two of you locked eyes, and the unspoken question lingered in the air. 

Swallowing hard, you nodded, answering without the words needed.

Steven whispered your name as he positioned himself at your entrance, crawling over you as the tip pushed in. Both of you gasped as he started to fill you, and you both clung to the other as your heat engulfed him inch by inch until he was completely sheathed inside you.

“Fuck, Steven,” you murmured, “You feel so good,” you couldn’t help but moan as you wrapped your arms around him, “Fuck me… Please…”

He breathed a soft, “Fuck,” in your ear as his hips moved on their own.

Moans and groans filled the room as Steven’s hips rocked against yours. What started as clumsy and unsure quickly morphed into hot and desperate as Steven thrust his hips faster.

“Yes… Steven… So good… Feels so good,” you babbled in his ear as you dug your nails into the skin of his back, desperate to feel him as close as possible.

His eyes rolled back into his head as he felt his climax already start to build. Between how good you felt and the babbling praise that flowed from your lips, he knew he wasn’t going to last. “Fuck… Darling…”

You let out a loud gasp as he thrust as deep as he could into you, hitting that sweet spot with precision, “Fuck!” you screamed, “Right there!” you opened your eyes as he paused in that moment, “You’re beautiful, Steven,” you whispered.

“Not as beautiful as you, love,” he smirked back before his hips took over again, thrusting into you with abandon.

The cries you let out echoed in the room, and both of you were sure the other neighbors could hear you but neither of you cared. All that mattered to each of you was the other, and the climaxes you both desperately chased. Incoherent babbling dripped from your lips in between your moans until you screamed even louder as your peak hit.

“That’s it, love,” Steven wasn’t sure where that came from, but as he talked you through your climax, he found it turned him on even more, “Lovely,” he preened as he felt you clench around him as you came hard, “Fuck…” he stuttered as his own orgasm hit right after yours. Steven groaned your name as he spilled himself inside of you, and he clung to you just as much as you did to him as he rode out both your climaxes together. 

Completely spent and out of breath, Steven collapsed down on top of you, clumsily pulling out of you as he did so. He only relaxed for a moment, though; after hearing you gasp, he shot right back up onto his elbows to check on you, “Are you alright, love?” he asked with worry as he cradled your face.

Keeping your eyes closed, you smiled and leaned into his touch, “Never better,” you replied in a hushed tone before you kissed his palm, “That was better than how my night started,” you added with a chuckle.

Steven’s face lit up as he leaned forward and gently kissed your forehead, “I agree,” he whispered with a laugh of his own.

“Stay with me, tonight?” you asked in a meek tone.

“Anything for you, love,” Steven replied as he made himself comfortable and the two of you tangled your limbs in each other, curled up and safe in the other’s arms.

[foldingfittedsheets]

I have never had a post-coital headache, but I saw the ask and it made me think...

Orgasming using a vibe hurts my clitoris. It doesn't even touch my clit because it uses airwaves or something to vibrate the air around the clit, not sure. And I don't enjoy vibrators that touch the clit because it just doesn't feel like anything pleasurable? I can't explain it but it doesn't feel good or bad just kinda numbs me.

I'll be getting bottom surgery to nullify my crotch someday, so I guess it doesn't matter much, since I can limp along till then. I'll be tucking the clitoris and the nerve bundle under some skin and tissue and hopefully the padding will help offset the pain (and I could finally use those cute giant wand vibrators with the big buzzy ball), but I'm just asking in case you have ever heard of this and are willing to respond on your blog.

For the record, I don't enjoy using my hands on my clit, doesn't feel good and dysphoric and bothers my asexuality (I don't like touching genitals at all and the wetness feels icky). I grew up using the pressure and squeeze method. Basically ball up a blanket, press it to my pubis, and then do a very prolonged, overpowered kegel and there you go (kinda tiring tho). I didn't even know I had a clit growing up, always assumed it was the urethra because it hurt to touch (turns out it's supposed to be wet, thanks homeschooling for the lack of sex ed).

So I use the vibrator but I hate the vibrator. The moments before the orgasm is just so painful. And I have to immediately turn it off because the continued vibration causes even more pain and makes my muscles clench up in response which makes it very difficult to pull the toy away from my body. When using it with my partner I have to "tap out" and she'll pull it away for me.

I low-key believe the multiple orgasms for clit+pussy based anatomy is a myth because how could it possibly feel good to touch there once the orgasm has happened? Sometimes I can't close my legs completely for minutes. That shit is so sensitive and like swollen? Throbbing? Why?!?

I theoretically like orgasms. I like the quiet feeling after them. But getting there sucks, masturbating is unpleasant (apparently normal people enjoy the whole process, I'm just there for the afterglow), esp when it's a maintenance orgasm and I'm not horny or physically aroused (sometimes I just think that I need to orgasm without really wanting to if that makes sense, weird ace shit).

This ask is longer than I hoped it would be, but there's lots of important context and I honestly don't know why my body is like this, Google is useless (esp nowadays).

Okay there’s a ton to touch on here, but first: vibes are not one size fits all. Everyone’s body’s are different and motors come in different powers and pulses. The “cute” massage wand types are actually some of my least favorite because they just go cataclysmic in power which is way too much for 90% of clits. They just have good marketing.

If possible, you can look for a gentler vibe. Jimmy Jane Form 2 has a pulse setting that’s reallyyyyy light, and puts vibrations on either side of the clit instead of directly on it. But there’s a lot of shapes and sizes that could be gentler than what you’re using now.

If you’re unsure check out a store and try the vibe on the tip of your nose. This is pretty close to how sensitive your clit is and can give you a frame of reference for how much power you actually want. Generally lower rumbles are more expensive but also more pleasant so that’s a cost/benefit you can run.

The other aspect of this is that clitoral tissue is actually massive. There’s a lot of stuff going on under the hood, so to speak.

Clitoral nerves get everywhere! That’s the whole thing with G-spots- you’re still hypothetically applying pressure to nerve endings associated with the clit. I’ve heard anecdotally that they can end up in the anus too but I couldn’t find a source to verify that.

The takeaway from how sprawling all those nerves are is that there’s probably places you might like sensation better that directly on the clit. Most clit havers in my experience found that pretty overwhelming, myself included.

If your main business with your junk has been businesslike and unpleasant to touch it makes sense not messing with it much. If your partner is a person you trust to explore with you can just have them feel around and caress and see if other areas feel stimulating without being as overwhelming.

As for getting so throbby and uncomfortable afterward, and multiple orgasms: In my experience and anecdotally this depends how you get there. When you come fast and hard your body reacts differently than when you edge into an orgasm. You can try changing up your routine to see if this makes a difference for you.

Some people can never do multiple orgasms, it’s rare for me but does happen on occasion, so it’s worth noting that smut has a lot to answer for in terms of how normal they make that. If you can’t get off more than once it is what it is. It’s not a myth but it’s not everyone’s reality.

I hope this was helpful, good luck and as you say, eventually after surgery this will get easier for you!

[c-u-c-koo-4-40k]

Not story more ramble but I will still tag.

@egrets-not-regrets @bleedingichorhearts @kit-williams @sleepyfan-blog @barn-anon

Spoilers for Warhammer Fulgrim Lore.

I think the husbandry fandom has missed a profound opportunity for some juicy conflict!

So we have some general agreed upon notions for how certain legions react to Husbandry Terra. Now obviously not all of a single space marine type behave the same way but there be trends.

Salamanders, Ultramarines, Blood Angels, Thousand Sons, Space Wolves, Imperial Fists: these groups generally accept bonds and human companionship as they had decent human contact in their original timeline.

Then you've got the grumps who love the attention but getting them to admit it is like Pulling Teeth: Night Lords, Iron Hands and Iron Warriors.

But we have been missing out! On a delightfully painful side of our favorite premadonnas. The Emperor's Children.

Now they and their sire Fulgrim are often stereotyped as such. Elegant, pompous, snooty and post heresy they go completely mask off a drive full into unbound freak territory.

But their story is much more tragic than a spoiled brat leading other spoiled brats into serving the God of overdoing things.

Fulgrim isn't spoken of as much in terms of being screwed over, but looking closer he really was.

Shot to an awful industrial planet where he watched his adopted family struggle to feed him let alone themselves. It would give anybody a complex.

Needing to be useful, needing to contribute, needing to not be a burden.

And once the The Big E showed up it didn't get much better.

His sons? Suffer a geneflaw that gives them astarte cancer. He not only loses many of them, but has to make due with what he has left. Meaning no matter how well trained, he just can't conquer planets at the rate dear old dad wants him to.

His brothers? Got there own issues and probably don't take Fulgrim's struggles seriously. He's just at that spot of "Wow that sucks," and "But the others have it worse.' He probably doesn't feel like he can talk deeply to anyone.

So Fulgrim does what many unloved children do, in fact he does the same thing as Perturabo, Pushes Himself to The Breaking Point.

In Fulgrim's case, any failures he blames completely on himself. Where Perty lashes out, Fulgrim turns inward.

Until he just can't take it anymore. He decides he's going to finally be selfish. Commit fully to the pleasures and pain so he never has to remember the agony he feels, that he will Never, be good enough

Heck killing Ferrus probably cemented that feeling in him. I'm not worth anything, so why bother trying to be good. Why not just be the absolute Worst.

Heavy stuff. But this leads me to my main musing.

In 40k the sins of the father very much affect the sons.

So my proposition is...you think other space marines are clingy? They hold not a Candle to an Emperor's Child. Especially one post heresy.

If you show an EC that they can be open, vulnerable, Imperfect, around you, and you don't immediately turn tail and run from the baggage, You Will Never Escape.

They don't just crave intimacy, they crave stability, affection, LOVE.

And if you give them any indication you'll supply it, they will Never let themselves be cut off.

[buckys-little-belle]

Chapter Two - Backpack, Backpack

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW. 

Warnings - Mentions of Bucky’s ‘Old Life’, talks about slight “Violence” (Bucky’s past), talks of a first aid kit, feeling “scared” about being a little, fluff! Obviously! 

Word Count - 2164

Note - I've finished all of Bub and Buck's story now, and I have to say it's been crazy going back and blending chapters/blurbs together to create a more cohesive story. It's been fun, and crazy, and honestly I missed this little place that I loved so much. Cafe BigNSmall is the beginning of so much, not just this account. It was the first little writing thing I put out that really got traction and that led me to where I am now. Going to school in January for creative writing, beginning the process of writing my own book. This little fic that has brough comfort to so many, myself included, is so much bigger than just a fanfiction or just a writing process and I'm so thankful for everyone who has stuck by my side, who has liked, reblogged, and sent asks about it. I love every one of you, I love who you've helped me become, and I've loved every minute of re-writing this series and I hope you love re-reading, or even reading it for the first time. I just have so so so much love in my heart for this and for you <3

. ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . 

Bucky sat at his same table for the umpteenth time, but this time he sat with a smile knowing someone was on their way to sit with him. For the first time in a while Bucky wasn’t sitting and watching everyone while feeling jealous, instead he watched as a Caregiver hugged their Little and felt hopeful that he might get to have that one day. 

“MR!” Y/n yelled from the entrance like she couldn’t believe he was there, sitting at their table ready for whatever she wished to do. “Hi!” She smiled at him when she got to the table, her usual overalls and t-shirt combo covered by a heavy sweater. He was happy she had covered up more than yesterday, the sky grey instead of blue, and the colder. 

“Hi.” He smiled back, Bucky was sure he looked goofy with how big his smile was but he didn’t care. “Chilly?” He asks as he watches them shiver slightly when the finally sit down. 

“Yeah.” Y/n tilts her head to the side as she seems to contemplate something. “I think ‘m gonna get a hot chocolate.” She rummages around her bag before finding her wallet and pulling out a five dollar bill. Bucky was quicker though, already on his feet and in the line. “What are you gonna get?” Y/n asks as she joins him in the line. 

“Well, I think I’m going to get a hot chocolate too.” He looks down at her, a silly grin on her face as she nods her head. “Their cake pops look good too.” Bucky points to the glass case full of baked goods and premade sandwiches. 

“I know!” Y/n practically jumps. “I had one once.” They frown. “But I never have enough moneys for one, maybe next week I’ll get one.” They nod their head, agreeing with their idea. 

Bucky already planned on buying Y/n a cake pop, but wanted to make sure she actually did like them. Finding out she’s only had one because she can’t afford them has him vowing to always buy her one whenever she’s here. 

The money Bucky got from the government after his treatment went public often sits in his bank account unused, he has what he needs, and most of what he wants, and he hates spending the money on useless things. Yet as he watches Y/n’s eyes flicker to the case full of sweet treats with a frown on their face he’s happy to know he finally has something, someone worth spending money on. 

“Hi, what can I get you today?” The barista smiles at Bucky, giving an extra sweet grin and a wave to Y/n. 

“Can I get two medium hot chocolates, please?” Bucky places his hand on Y/n’s shoulder to get her attention before asking. “What kind of cake pop do you want Bub?” 

“I can’t.” They shrug their shoulders, clearly not aware that Bucky’s already ordering for her. 

“I’m buying you one. Which one do you want, Bub?” He adds some clarification, leaning down slightly to be at Y/n’s height, pointing to the cake pops in the case. “I love vanilla, I think I’ll get a vanilla one.” He says, hoping that him getting one will make Y/n feel less nervous. 

She begins playing with her hands, twisting her fingers together, something Bucky’s noticed she does when anxious. “Um, I like chocolate.” She whispers, looking back at Bucky with weary eyes. “But I don’ wan’ you to buy it, I -” Bucky doesn’t let her finish her sentence, instead he stands and orders both cake pops before paying. 

With both hands on Bub’s shoulders he moves them over to the wait station. “When you’re with me I’ll be the one buying things, okay?” His tone is sweet but also somehow firm, hoping his words make sense and are final, but also hoping he doesn’t seem too overbearing. 

“Like a, like when.” Bub stumbled over her words before turning around to face Bucky, his hands dropping from her shoulders only for her to grab his left, glove covered, hand to fidget with it like she does hers. “Like a caregiver?” She asks, finally meeting Bucky’s glance. 

“Exactly like that.” Bucky nods. “I’ll act like your caregiver when we’re together, okay?” He regrets using the word ‘act’ the moment he says it, Y/n somberly nodding at his words. He wants to be her caregiver all the time, he doesn’t want to just act as one while around her, but he met her yesterday. Neither of them know each other well enough for that kind of trust, yet Bucky seems to feel like they both are on the same wavelength. Like they’ve waited long enough for someone to be their other, why wait a little longer. 

“I’d like tha’.” Y/n nods, turning back around in Bucky’s arms to wait for their cake pop and hot chocolate. 

. ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . ✪ . ★ .  ✪ . ★ . 

For a whole week Bucky and Bub met up everyday, getting hot chocolate and cake pops. Y/n kept giving Bucky colouring pages to take home with her signature at the bottom, his fridge now covered in them after a frantic late night trip to buy magnets. Walking into his house and seeing the fridge coloured in pictures made him love the fact that he bought a huge fridge able to store at least another week's worth of pictures without having to remove anymore of the ones he’s already been given. 

“Hi, Mr!” Y/n smiled as she sat down on her booth seat, her backpack placed on the table as she got comfortable. “I made you something.” 

“You did?” Bucky unpackaged her cake pop and placed it on a napkin, sliding it over to her along with her hot chocolate. “Careful it’s hot.” Bucky warned as Bub went straight for her drink the moment it was in her line of sight. 

“Otay.” She blew a breath onto the cup, though Bucky wasn’t sure how helpful her hot puff of air would be in cooling it down, instead pulling it back to himself and blowing cold air on it for her. “Here.” She placed a piece of paper onto the table. 

This picture wasn’t one from a colouring book, but one on regular plain paper, drawn by Y/n and coloured by her to. Two figures stood hand in hand with a box of crayons in the middle. One person was obviously Bucky, the other Y/n. Even if he couldn’t tell Bub had written their names “Mr” and “Bub” below each of their persons. “I love it.” Bucky smiled, sliding the, now less hot, hot chocolate back to Y/n, her taking a sip immediately and humming in content. “I’ll have to put in on my fridge.” He said aloud, though he meant to keep the words to himself, not sure if it was wrong to admit he had grown attached to Y/n enough to want her pictures on his fridge. 

“Really?” Her usually playful voice grew serious, her eyes filled with tears. “My drawing?” 

“Yeah, Bub.” He smiled, glad she seemed happy over the idea. “I have a few of your drawings on my fridge already.” He admitted. Before he could place it in his bag Y/n was up and out of her seat sliding into Bucky’s booth before wrapping her arms around him in a hug. “Oh.” Bucky lets out a surprised sigh. 

“I like you, you nice.” Y/n said as she pulled away, though didn’t leave the booth. 

“You’re nice too, Bub.” Bucky said in disbelief. He knew the two of them were making good steps towards fully being comfortable around one another, Y/n seemed to slip further and further into regression, showing she felt safe around Bucky, and she had even asked him if he was the Winter Soldier and hadn't run when he said yes. But he hadn’t expected her to feel comfortable enough to hug him, yet he wasn’t going to argue or complain. 

Y/n eyed his bag for a minute or so before asking a question. “Wha’s in your bag?” She asked, this being the first time she had truly seen it. 

“I’ll show you what’s in my bag, if you show me what’s in yours?” He offered, having been wondering what she brought with her to the cafe everyday. “Deal?” He asked, and she perked up, agreeing before sliding out and back onto her seat, something Bucky frowned at. 

“Otay!” Bub squealed, opening her green backpack before digging around a little bit. The first thing she pulled out was a small zipper pouch, the fabric printed with frogs and plants. “This has m’ keys, an’ my phone.” She pulled both out, her phone being secured in a bag inside her bag making sense as to why it took her so long to find it when her alarm went off. “An’ it has my tic tacs in it! D’ you wan’ one?” She asked with a smile, holding out tropical tic tacs to Bucky. 

“I’m okay, but thank you Bub.” He smiled, proud of her manners and willingness to share her things. He knew he couldn't take credit for her good behaviour, or her manners. She was a sweet girl even if he didn’t remind her here and there of her manners, yet he was still extremely proud of her. 

“M’kay.” Bub nodded her head, popping a few tic tacs in her mouth before moving on. “Dis, um, dis is my frog.” Bub’s once very confident attitude dulled slightly as she brought the frog stuffie out, like she was waiting for someone to say something rude. 

“He’s very cute.” Bucky reassured her, his hand brushing against the stuffed animal's foot, his fur in perfect condition. “What’s his name?” 

Y/n still seemed on alert, but opened up a little more. “I call him Green Bean.” She pats his head. 

“That’s a perfect name.” Bucky chuckles, loving how creative his Bub is. “Where did you get his outfit?” He asks, referring to the knitted overalls and t-shirt, identical to Y/n’s everyday outfit. 

“I made dem!” Bucky was happy to see her peppy spark come back as she spoke about her stuffy. Giving him the rundown on how she made them, and made clothing for all her other stuffies at home. Then she gave him the rundown on a bunny stuffie she really wanted that was identical to the one she has at home. Though “He’s no’ the same Mr! He’s a different colour!” something Bucky quickly made a mental note of. 

Bub only had her wallet and a sweater stuffed at the bottom of her bag, and a small bag of long forgotten goldfish that Bucky immediately threw out left to show. “Your turn.” Y/n reminded Bucky, gesturing to his backpack. 

“Well.” He started, opening his bag, pulling out his wallet, keys and phone. “These are the things I have on me at all times.” He said, watching Y/n pick up his keys and fiddle with them, clearly loving his accumulated keychain and key combo from the last 100 years. “Then I have a First Aid Kit.” He pulls out a bulky box, a few things banging around inside. 

“In case someone ge’s hurt?” Y/n asks, concern dripping from her expressions. 

“Exactly.” Bucky answers, though he doesn’t admit that he mainly carries it out of fear that he’ll hurt someone and need to patch them up, but he hopes that Y/n’s just thinking about scrapes and small cuts and not the carnage he’s left behind. 

“Do you have princess bandaids?” She asks with all seriousness. 

“I have princess ones, paw patrol, and starwars.” He playful one ups her, the two of them laughing before he continues. “Then I have extra crayons, colouring pages, and a couple water bottles.” He pulls out the extra things, Y/n’s hands immediately going to the colouring pages. 

“Can I do this one, please?” She asks, bouncing in her seat, her frog underneath her arm. 

“Of course, Bub.” He smiles, the frog page she chose the one he printed off last night in the hopes to give it to her. 

After the small show and tell the two of them sat together eating their cake pops and drinking their hot chocolate. Everytime he looked up Bucky realised just how lucky he was, to have found a Little who was as chill as Bub was, and as sweet as she was too. He realised that while he wished he could have met her sooner, he was happy he waited. 

“Why don’t we go to the park tomorrow?” He asked, thinking it could be good for them to get out somewhere other than just the cafe. 

“Yes!” Y/n practically jumped out of her seat at the idea, the two of them chatting about how excited they were for their adventure tomorrow.