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runningfrom2am · 3 months ago

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michigan cherry // part six

summary: walking into a saloon in a nowhere town, billy meets a singer who he just can't get off his mind after she slips through his fingers; onto another town, another show- following nothing but the stars in her path. until he sees her again. another nowhere town and equally dusty saloon, but this time, the band of kids who made up her family is nowhere to be found. he's running away from something, and she is storming full speed toward something else, and tangling into each other's lives may just get both of them exactly where they want to be.

pairing: william h. bonney x fem!reader

wc: 2.4k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: singer!reader (she’s giving very much lucy gray), probably a little bit ooc billy but hey i tried- anyway he’s a sweetheart, use of guns and violence, murder and violence but i try to keep it non-descript, oh also she’s an orphan sorry (once again, lucy gray vibes), strangers to friends to lovers trope eee. also not thoroughly proofread oops

the songs in this chapter are: "scared of my guitar" by Olivia Rodrigo, "Michigan Cherry" by River Whyless, "Traveling Song" by Ryn Weaver, "Slim Pickins" by Sabrina Carpenter, and "Adore You - Acoustic" by Maisie Peters !!

a/n: ahhh hi it's my birthday! super excited to share this with you guys even though it isn't all that special or exciting but i'm just happy to be back :). last year for my birthday i posted in this life or the next and i wanted to finally get part 3 of that up today but that just wasn't going to happen BUT for everyone asking i am working on it. i swear. i'm not giving up on it!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // pinterest board // playlist

You thought that you might have heard somewhere that music is to the soul as opium is to a stubborn cough.

Or, maybe you dreamt that. Regardless, you knew for certain now that it was bullshit. But, with nowhere else to place your heartache, you found yourself sitting by a fire nearly every night with your guitar in your lap, humming soft words under your breath and plucking the strings as gently as you could.

It was for work, yes, but like opium, you had long since become addicted to the routine. Billy had too.

"You can play a little louder, y'know." He hums, tossing a broken twig into the campfire that separates you. "I was promised music in exchange for my services."

"And you get your music." You chuckle, hand pressed over the strings to stop their hum. "You haven't missed a show in almost two months, that ain't enough?"

"Sure, I'm just sayin' don't hold back your practice on my account. I'm happy to listen again." He answers with a soft smile, the yellow glow from the flames warming his features and bathing him in light.

You can't help the matching twitch of your lips to return his, feeling the slight burn in your cheeks that you can't confidently attribute to either the fire or your own blushing. "Well, it ain't much to listen to yet. Not finished."

"Ah, somethin' new?" Billy asks, leaning back on his palms and watching you expectantly as you give him a slight nod.

You're leaning over your guitar to scribble in that little notebook of yours, the pencil almost nothing more than a little nub in your hands and the pages of the book almost filled to the brim with words and notes. The temptation he faces every day to just grab it while you're sleeping or out away from the camp on a little walk has become an almost unbearable curiosity.

Because yes, he loves the songs you do sing, but what he wouldn't give to hear the ones you don't.

Billy would dive at any opportunity to see just a little more into your beautiful mind.

"Yeah, kinda." You hum in response, distracted again by the strings of your guitar effectively wrapping around your heart and your fingers and dragging your attention back to it.

"Okay, then, let me hear what you have so far."

You hate doing that, normally. You would hardly even play incomplete songs for your family when they were around- that awkward moment where you just have to trail off and go "Um, that's all I have..." and try to laugh but not too awkwardly was something painful.

But, this was Billy. Something about him compelled you to agree.

The problem was, the song you were currently meddling with the idea of may or may not be about him. You'd like to confirm with yourself that no, it is not about Billy, but damnit- he's the only person in your life. What else were you meant to write about?

You look down at the pages next to you, narrowed eyes reading over your own writing.

'Perfect, easy, so good to me. So why's there a pit in my gut, in the shape of you'-

Nope, nope, no. He's not hearing that.

You could deny all you wanted that the unfinished song was about him, try and claim to yourself that it was about Max- but deep down you knew the direction it was going.

You flick through the most recent pages, trying to spark your memory of something safer.

'Tart and sweet like a wild berry Tart and sweet your words to me Dark and red like a Michigan cherry Dark and red as the Iliad sea Here we lie in the deep night ready Here we lie, our skin is bare'-

That's definitely not going to work either. Your cheeks get somehow hotter and you clear your throat, flipping the page again.

Okay, this is much better.

"Like I said, it ain't done, so... not much to it yet, but..." You say, clearing your throat and avoiding his eyes as you quickly scan the new page again and position your fingers over the guitar strings.

Billy gives you a steeled nod, sitting up a little straighter ready to listen as if he would be a judge of the quality of your music. It was a joke, you both knew it. He knew he couldn't come up with a critiquing word toward your music if he was held at gunpoint and forced to try.

"Nobody knows where they are going Oh, how we try to wrap our minds Over the edge of all our knowings Be it a bang or the divine Tip of my iceberg blues are showing I've never been one for goodbyes So, 'til I meet you there, I'm singing A traveling song to ease the ride And so you know, everywhere I roam I'll see you on the road."

Your voice is steady, focussed on getting it out rather than dwelling on the meaning of the words and Billy could tell.

"So farewell to my friend, He who taught me to love like a beast And to feast like the queen that he fed turtle soup Little boy from Paris to the States, check the facts That was Magical Max He was black sheep and mischief and love for his craft..."

His heart leaps at the little laugh that falls from your lips at the memory of your friend, your fingers slowing their strum to a steady halt. He doesn't expect you to continue, but you do, your smile quickly fading again back into an attempt at indifferent focus.

"Then he told me that I was starlights that shine On that very last day, he said "Shoot for your dreams, little girl, to the stars" Well, I'm taking you with me Now this one is ours and I know what you'd say you'd say "On with the show!" So on we go."

How embarrassing it is to almost cry singing a song that isn't done, for your best friend who would never live to hear it. Whose memory deserved to be shared. It wouldn't get very far if you couldn't even share it with one person; if you couldn't even stomach finishing it.

"Um, so... I'm not sure about chording for that last bit, or honestly the lyrics. I think it feels better without the guitar, but..." You say quickly, focussing yourself on your book and pretending to scribble something in it just so you wouldn't have to look at the boy sitting across the fire from you.

"I think it's perfect." Billy tells you, a softness to his tone you only had the pleasure of hearing once in a blue moon.

What he meant to say was that it's beautiful, that it's a flawlessly fitting tribute that he felt lucky to hear, that when sung by an angel's voice like yours he didn't doubt for a second that your friend Max had heard it from beyond the veil and loved it too. Even unfinished.

None of that was what came out though, essentially awestruck the way he always was at your shows- but this time he was able to actually speak to you after hearing it instead of just clapping, whistling, or if he was lucky, catching your gaze with a smile and a corny thumbs up that told you he thought you were doing great. Not that you needed it.

"Thanks." Your sweet voice replies, watching him for a moment you determine to be too long before your focus is back on the notebook next to you. "Anyway, um, if you want to hear something else unfinished, this one I think is going to be kind of funny."

"Show me what you've got, then."

Billy simply couldn't resist anymore.

Sitting absentmindedly on a hay bale in a barn where a local owner was gracious enough to let the two of you stay, that damned notebook seems to be glowing right in his face from the sunlight streaming through some bullet holes in the wood paneling that made up the side of the stable.

It's taunting him, he's sure of it.

This stare-down has been going on for about ten minutes since you left it out on the ground next to your guitar to go use the homeowner's washbasin to clean up when his wife offered- you weren't going to turn down a bath that wasn't in a creek.

That would probably take you a while though, you'd likely savour it, so he could just take a look. You'd sing him pretty much anything asked, and what could possibly be more vulnerable than that song you wrote about Max that you shared with him a couple of weeks ago? Surely you wouldn't mind all that much. On the off chance you ever found out. Which, of course, you wouldn't- because he would put it right back where it was after just skimming it.

It's not Billy's fault your handwriting just looks so pretty and you're a poet without publication privileges- it would just be a waste if no one ever read your pretty musings written oftentimes to no one.

And still, he convinces himself again, that you would never know.

He gets up and studies the book to make sure he could put it back down at the right angle before picking it up, hands gentler than they have ever been- like he was touching his mother's precious crystal vase, a wedding gift that had been long lost to time in several moves across the sea and then the country.

He opens the notebook and immediately he can see how you've grown since this book was first picked up by your delicate hands. How your print has changed from beginning to almost end, the pages all wrinkled from spills and humidity and time.

How lucky, he thinks, to be chosen by you for this journey of your life. Why does he feel so much camaraderie for a book?

He skims the pages, delighted to see that it isn't just full of words but drawings too; the sweetest most delicate doodles of little things like your guitar or a flower here and there squeezed in amongst the words on the pages. The amount of talent one young woman could possess astounded him, it's shocking that it doesn't drip out of your every pore in the very black ink that you use to write.

He can't help smiling a little to himself as he reads the scrawled titles and lyrics to songs he recognizes and he can practically hear your beautiful voice singing every word he's already heard.

'A boy who's nice that breathes- I swear, he's nowhere to be seen.'

That was the funnier song you sang to him those odd weeks ago, and just remembering the small laugh that fell from your lips as you sang the words makes him chuckle too as he reads it.

You had told him you wrote it with Sarah, and he could tell- based on the two distinctive styles of handwriting squeezed onto the small page.

He begins to realize as he flips through the pages of the small tattered notebook resting in his lap, that you had been dating the pages. Finished songs had dates of beginning and completion going back a little over a year, and he figures this must not be the first one you've gone through.

Billy comes to the near back of the notebook, as much as he would love to spend all day reading every word you'd ever translated turning your life into poetry or ballads of melodic storytelling, he knew his time was limited.

One song in particular catches his attention, though.

'So high that I am floating, So good that I'm out of my head. So low baby I was hurting, you made it better again.

Oh, we got caught in a moment, and I'll lay with you all night. So good that now I'm hoping you'll hold me down for life.

I adore, I adore, I adore you.'

The corners of his lips twitch up in a smile as he reads the words, scribbled out and rewritten several times in some places.

It's unfinished, but dated to have been started a couple of weeks ago. He remembers you had asked him what the date was that day, and saw you write it down as he answered- your hair falling over your face and brushing your shoulders as it shielded the book from his view.

A couple weeks ago.

And the drawing- oh, how his heart flutters in his chest so quickly it feels like his ribs have transformed into a sparrow's cage.

To Billy, it looked like him. He knew he must be thinking crazy, after all, it had been a while since he had had a proper look in a mirror, but it sure felt like he was right now- down to the little feathers on his hat and the shape of his cupid's bow. You had given yourself away with the scope of your artistic faith.

"What are you doing?"

At the sound of your voice, slightly hesitant as you stand in the entrance to the barn, he slams the book shut and jumps just about a foot in the air; a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"N-nothing! I just, it just- um..." It was still clutched in his hands, already weary of parting with the precious object of your affections. "It, um... It fell, and I- I just picked it up, and-"

When he looks up at you, you look mildly horrified; cheeks burning the same way his are and eyes blown wide like you had been the one who was caught doing something wrong.

Neither of you move, both frozen on the spot, terrified of the next words that might fall from the lips of the other.

You weren't about to incriminate yourself by asking in a shaky voice if he had read or looked at any of it, knowing he did, and he wasn't going to ask if that song or any others he skimmed (and wish he took more care reading) were about him like he hoped they were.

After a moment of staring at each other like both of you were hostages with guns to your head respectively, you both decide to make the first move at the exact same time. He quickly holds the book out to you at the very moment you reach out to take it, and the awkward exchange makes you want to curl up under the hay bale you were meant to sleep on and rot there.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

#michigan cherry !#billy the kid x reader #billy the kid x you #billy the kid fanfiction #billy the kid imagines #billy bonney #billy the kid #william bonney x you #william h bonney x you #william h bonney x reader #william bonney x reader #william bonney #william h bonney #tom blyth fic #tom blyth #billy the kid 2022 #tom blyth x reader

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idorukiss · 18 days ago

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Heres a sorta drabble/headcanon of sorts of how I picture MC's relationship with Rafayel would devleop~ I'm not much of a writer but the brainrot is real and im working on making similar ones for the other boys too!

1,051 words || You can also read it on ao3

‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙ Xavier ・ Zayne ・ Sylus

There have been many different things in Rafayel's life that inspired him when it comes to his art, But nothing took control of his heart so intensely as much as you have. Like a whirlpool you shook him to his core from that first meeting, and all he wants to do is capture you on his canvas for eternity.

It really was quite the blessing with how willing you were to become his bodyguard- not only can he keep you within arms reach but you can also protect him from all the shady people after his life. Like killing 2 birds with one stone, except you were so much stronger and beautiful than any stone he’s ever set eyes on before

He absolutely felt like a flirt to you at the start with all of the compliments and casual physical touch between you guys, He just loved to say how amazing you are while enclosing you in a deep bear hug. It was strange at first you'd admit, but it never felt like he was trying to make any passes at you or act like he was expecting anything in return. Perhaps that's just how he acts with people he trusts?

When Rafayel isnt painting, you two spend a lot of time outside finding inspiration all around. He usually has a sketchbook with him scribbling away anytime he sees something interesting- the landscapes, pretty flowers, or even a parfait you guys got to share. You’ve seen some of these sketches as he works on them, it always amazes you how much detail he can capture with so few lines.

He never let you fully flip through the sketchbook however, claiming all sorts of reasons why, like that the drawings were scared of the sunlight or you had to go through many trials to be worthy. It was obvious how much he cherished it and you respected his wishes, though it would be nice to reminisce on some of the good times you guys had together again. Though its not like your phone wasn't filled to the brim with photos already

Late one night, you stop by his place to make sure he didn't need any motivation to finish a painting for a deadline set the next morning. You have confidence he could make it in time, he always did, but you want to help him as best as you can otherwise. When you arrive you spot a stunning completed painting and a Rafayel sleeping on the sofa below it- both stunning as they're illuminated by the moonlight.

Taking it upon yourself to clean up his supplies a little, just enough to not be a walking hazard of course, you spot his precious travel sketchbook on the floor. Surely he wouldn't mind if you took a little peak in it, you'd love to see how he finished the last landscape you guys saw before he locked himself up to work. As you flip through the pages you see so many familiar sights from your time together so far, but scattered around them filling maybe even more pages was many drawings of a person. Of you. All surrounded by hearts and little notes about things you've said.

When did he have a chance to draw all of these? Is this how you look to him?? Questions race your mind as your face flushes at the image of him intensely scribbling in the sketchbook as you dance around the beach being dumb. You decide to grab a pencil and add your attempt of a sketch of him in the back, signing it with a little heart of your own. It’s nowhere near his skill level but something that captures how you feel, and maybe he would get a chuckle out of it once he spots it.

You don’t realize when the casual acts of affection he started out with turn slightly more romantic- going from linking arms together to holding your hand, and you swear you feel him press little kisses on the top of your head every time he wraps his arms around you. But you don't hate it, in fact it makes your heart flutter every time you realize it

Rafayel often messages you at the most random times to meet him somewhere, usually it was because he found a stunning view and wanted to share the experience with you. Sometimes he would even show up at your apartment to whisk you away, and every time it filled you with joy. These dates and every moment you get to spend with him fill your heart with so much warmth.

One particularly warm night you were woken up by a call inviting you to the beach near his studio. It was worth crawling out of the bed at an ungodly hour, not only for the view but for him. While you were admiring the waves, he couldn't keep his eyes off you as a cautious pinky is hooked around yours. Two faces flush as you look at him, it lasts for only a moment before its interrupted by your watch.

Your face falls as you read the notification “It looks like I got a last minute mission in the morning…I guess this means I have to head back already.” As you take a heavy step to start walking away he reaches out to stop you with a pleading look on his face “Wait, don’t go yet” “Rafayel…. I’m sorry, I really am. This night- everything was wonderful, it really was” “Can’t you just stay the night?” He wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck “Please just stay the night, I don’t want you to leave.” Your heart flutters as you wrap your arms around him in return “Okay, I’ll stay for you my sweet painter”

He is the most clingy man you’ve ever met, constantly torn between wrapping himself around you while peppering every inch of skin with kisses and diving headfirst into hundreds of paintings with you as his muse. His studio would be covered in nothing but paintings of you if he didn't have to focus on his commissions.

He sculpted out a place in your heart that held him, and in turn you've devoted yourself to him- loving him with every fiber of your being

#love and deepspace #rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace #rafayel l&ds #rafayel lads #irodruwrite #just sylus next before i can move onto the next lil series of drabbles teehee #budding relationships

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arcadia-of-pluto · 1 month ago

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Twist of Fate; Twenty-One

Pairings; LADS OT4 x reader

Word count; 3,309

Themes; isekai, slow-burn (eventual smut), canon divergence

Rating; 18+ for swearing and mature themes

Notes; I would apologize for taking so long (both for this update and for Foreseer going on too long–), but I'm tired of doing that so just buckle up because Foreseer Zayne is still on-going! I haven't really felt like writing or doing anything lately, so I'm still only on chapter 23 so the chapters might be a bit slower to drop. I'm doing all I can, but I only feel like writing when I feel like it so– I'll get back to it soon!

As much as I love writing for LADS, I have so many original story ideas and if I ever start writing them, I'd love to post them here. I'm just not sure how well original content would go on Tumblr tbh? I'm sure yall will grow tired of isekai content, but I have so many original ideas for stuff like that. Like seriously– I could count at least five in my Google docs! But I also have a few non-isekai ideas, like a possible miraculous ladybug type idea (with superheros and the hidden identity trope), a game of thrones type of story with my own set of gods and goddesses (I came up with it in the 11th grade and I'm desperate for people to know about it, it makes me so mf happy)...I could go on and on about it tbh but I'll just say more about it after the chapter is done since I don't want to clog this section up too much! <3

Enjoy this chapter of ToF!

prev || next

☆ Masterlist ☆

Under your care, the jasmine bud grows bigger and bigger by the day. You’re happy, but also a bit nervous. According to your expertise, the jasmine will bloom in less than a week…That means you don’t have much time. You’ve also learned that, other than reading and checking on the jasmine, the Foreseer stays at a location hidden behind an ordinary door in the basement.

What does he do in there? Is the Creatio protocore’s location perhaps…

When the Foreseer disappears behind the door again, you pretend to lose your way and follow after him. What greets you is unbelievable, a sight to behold. Behind that door is a library, the ceiling nowhere to be found. Bookshelves stretch as far as the eye can see.

“Huh…Does the Foreseer obtain his books from here? How can he find anything in this place? I don’t even know where he is…” Your mumbles activate some sort of switch, ice materializes beneath your feet and carries you into the air. “Wha–” You’re in disbelief. “...I guess the mystery of how he acquires his books has been solved.”

You feel as if you are lost in a sea of books, for shelf after shelf is filled to the brim with them. The ice stops in front of a bookshelf. You’re a good distance off the ground. “Where is he…” You mutter to yourself, struggling against the ice that held you in place. You sigh and decide to make the most of your time, reaching out to carefully grab the book that’s right in front of you.

Its title is Philos: Floral Inquiry.

Philos? Was every single male lead from Philos?

You open the book and see the pages about jasmines have been read the most. “Jasmines again…Why is this flower important to him? Is it just because he wants the one atop the Tower to bloom?” Reading the notes, you try to piece together an answer.

When you turn to the title page, there is a single word on it: Zayne.

“Zayne…? Who is this Zayne?”

While this version of you would clearly be confused, you were not. You were more shocked that he had the same name in this life as well.

You’re not sure what you expected, but you assumed he’d be called the Foreseer until the end of your dream…

“He is the person you seek.”

In your surprise, you fumble with the book in your hands and turn around. On a platform of ice, the Foreseer stands behind you. His steadfast gaze sends a chill down your spine.

“I had no intention of intruding, Foreseer. The ice clearly kidnapped me–”

“Are you claiming the frost coerced you?” He raises an eyebrow and you take a step back, forgetting that you’re standing on a sheet of ice. Your foot touches nothing.

“W-Woah! Help!” You windmill your arms in the air to stop yourself from falling, but it doesn’t help much. In a moment, you go from descending to being caught in the air.

“Expressing your regret does not require theatrics.”

“...Are you mocking me? I find that hard to believe.” You look up at him with a frown and his eyes, their depths seemingly immeasurable, are close to your face.

The Foreseer carries you to the ground with your heart pounding in your chest.

Was it hot in this room?

Yeah…That’s the reasoning behind your reddened cheeks.

You come to your senses and quickly lower your head. “You…can let me go now. It was good that you were present. It must be dangerous to acquire your books like this.”

“Likewise, ‘tis dangerous to push one’s duty onto others.” He still hadn’t put you down yet.

“Others..?” An ice cluster appears in front of you and slowly spins. “The ice at my feet…Is this its original form? Are you its creator?”

“‘Twas not the work of magic, but a phantasm.” The Foreseer taps the ice cluster. “Carrying her to the higher shelves without a reason was your doing. Am I wrong?”

He’s…talking to the ice?

It unfurls and blooms like jasmine, ice particles ripping around you both.

“Does it understand our language?” You ask, once he finally sets you down.

“We are like-minded in our distaste for lies.”

Well…that doesn’t answer your question.

Though part of you is still in disbelief, the Foreseer’s spells and this library’s very existence are starting to convince you that what you’ve experienced is real.

“My apologies…I snuck in because I wanted to know what you did here. The ice heard me talking to myself, so it flew me up there.” You look down and the phantasmal jasmine runs circles around you before leaping into your hand.

“...Your forgiveness is boundless, for better or worse.”

“So…it accepts my apology?” Ice gathers under you again, and it lifts you into the air. You stumble, about to fall again.

Yet another piece of ice appears beneath your foot, steadying you. Curious, you take another step. Regardless of the direction you take, ice forms beneath you. You walk around, excitement in every step.

It’s…so fascinating.

It’s like having a platform at your command.

“Incredible! It knows what I’m about to do.” You clap your hands together with a gleeful smile.

“The individual subconscious is also a form of energy. It can sense even the smallest of changes.” The Foreseer is still as curt as ever.

“Oh!” You look down at him as you smile. “May I name it Jas? It was reminiscent of jasmine when it unfurled.”

“You and the phantasm should decide. I am but a witness.” You stop before the Foreseer. With your icy platform, you can look him straight in the eye.

“Then may I…call you Zayne?”

With a piercing gaze, he stares at you and you stumble over your words. “A…name defines a person. ‘Tis important, I would think.”

You are unable to read his expression.

“Do what you must.”

You mutter his name under your breath a few times in front of the mirror in your dimly lit room. All your mind can focus on is him in the library, watching you scurry about.

“I encroached on his territory by sneaking into the library…Why didn’t he lash out? Does he perhaps trust me now?” The icy marks on your chest are reflected in the mirror, tendrils spreading and twisting, approaching your collarbone.

Your time is nearing its end. At this time, an idea presents itself.

Since Jas took you to the Foreseer in the library, could you also use it to obtain the Creatio protocore?

“Jas…Are you here?” You call out to it. The sound of swirling ice reverberates in the air. The cluster of ice manifests and makes an arc in the air to greet you.

“You’re here!” You smile at it before clearing your throat, “Jas, I…I have a request. Could you take me to the Foreseer’s scepter?”

The phantasm stops moving. By Astra’s eyes…Does Jas know of your true purpose?

“I wish to–”

Before you can fully explain yourself, Jas expands and lunges at you.

…Are you destined to perish in the cold?

Before you could utter a scream, you realize the crystals phased through your body. There is only darkness. The faint sound of running water catches your attention.

Where…are you?

A distance away, you can make out an indigo spark. That’s…surely the Creatio protocore.

So Jas really did listen to you! As the light is within your reach, you take note of your surroundings.

Oh…

Steam escapes from behind a dark-coloured curtain. Moonlight shines through the window, landing on Zayne’s shoulders and revealing the drops of water running along his back.

Oh my…Wait, why were you brought to his bedchamber? Shit, you’ve got to get out of there before he notices.

You hold your breath and take one step back…Your foot bumps into something and makes a barely audible noise, but Zayne turns around and your gazes meet.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry for disturbing you! But I swear on my name that Jas brought me here..”

Maybe the turmoil in your mind is playing tricks on you, but Zayne is unperturbed. With the slight curl of his finger, the steam around us turns into a white cloth that hangs around his waist.

And with another wave of his hand, an unseen force pulls you in his direction. You stand before him, doing your best to look him in the eyes.

“What brings you here?” His hair, his face, his chest– all wet from the water– You are unable to avert your gaze, and you feel a rising heat on your face.

But what is more astounding is the number of scars etched on Zayne’s body.

“I thought the jasmine was about to bloom…I was unaware you were bathing!” Having coughed up a pitiful excuse, you close your eyes in embarrassment. You sense the invisible force is gone and when you open your eyes, Zayne is putting on his robes.

“No one could have predicted Jas to be unwavering in its loyalty to you. However, I expected as much. It knows only of us, thus it considers you a friend.”

Aww...That’s really sweet!

Wait—

“Are you going to punish Jas? It only indulged in my whimsy…”

“Should I punish you instead?” Zayne’s unwavering gaze meets your eyes.

“If the jasmine meets something terrible as I sit in an icy prison for three days and three nights…”

“Worry not, punishment awaits.”

Huh?

You shake your head, eyebrows furrowing as you look up at him. “What do you mean? Are you going to kill me after the jasmine blooms?”

“...Is a horrible death the only consequence you can think of? I have no interest in taking the life of another.”

“Is it for this reason you will let me leave?” Your head tilts to the side and Zayne turns his head to look away from you. “You should decide that for yourself.” With a wave of his hand, you are pushed out of his bedchamber by an unseen force.

After another few days of deliberating on what to do next, you take a few notes. Zayne will catch you if you are anywhere near the Creatio protocore…and the more you learn about Zayne, the greater the mystery enshrouding him.

Those scars etched into his flesh. It seems like…he was stabbed in the past. Yet no one else lives in this Tower.

How could he have been wounded? He is also blessed by Astra. Who could be powerful enough to injure him?

But…more importantly, why would Astra allow His follower to become injured?

Your curiosity extends beyond your current relationship. In other words…You will never be given an answer.

The very next day, you visit the library at midnight. Jas takes you to the same shelf that has Philos: Floral Inquiry.

“Is Zayne always reading this book?”

Everything…seems to be connected to the jasmine flower.

You open the book and study the text, paying special attention to the pages with notes left by Zayne.

“ ‘Once again, jasmine appears…’ How is it related to all of this?” You read his note out loud, and responding to your voice, the pages begin to glow. “What…is happening!?”

You squeeze your eyes shut as a bright light shines in front of you.

When your vision returns, you find yourself in a sea of white flowers. The sun’s golden rays shine across the field of jasmines. Except the flowers that aren’t in bloom. They are all flower buds.

Nearby, a familiar figure, its watcher you presume, observes this field. “Huh– Zayne? Why are you here? Where are we?”

You slowly walk in his direction, running your hands through your hair.

What was this?? A dream within a dream or something?

Zayne turns to look at you, confusion in his expression. “Have we met before?”

“Um..”

“Who are you?”

As you approach him, you realize his body is but a mirage. Sunlight passes through his robes. His appearance is that of Zayne’s, but he lacks the Foreseer’s frigid character.

“Through what means did you enter this place?”

Well, whatever he was, this version of Zayne seems to be the most similar to your Zayne, so you didn’t want to give him too difficult of a time.

“I was just reading a…Huh. Am I in the book?” You bring your hand up to your chin to think, but Zayne speaks once more, “You stand in an illusion crafted by words and words alone.”

“Then what are you?”

A corner of his mouth curls up and he turns his gaze away from you. “A lonely wraith.” The sight of Zayne’s face smiling was the last thing you thought you’d see in this life.

Then again, you’ve met Jas. You have come to accept these bizarre events.

“Were you the one who planted these jasmines?” You crouch down near him to run your finger across the buds.

“They are more than just mere flowers.” His voice felt as free as the wind. While he was lonely here, he was able to express his emotions.

He didn’t feel cold at all.

“Are they phantasms?” As you ask him, you inspect the growth of the flowers. They seem to be in the same state as the jasmine on top of the roof of the Tower.

An image appears in your mind as your fingers touch the buds. Zayne lowering his head to kiss the jasmine.

The man in front of you seems just as surprised as you are.

“My memories..Or perhaps it would be better to say they are the jasmines in my memories.”

You wonder if the jasmines are actual flowers or if they’re meant to represent something…or someone. You touch another one.

This time you see Zayne in an unfamiliar garb, but still lowering his head to kiss the flower.

Wait, you recognize that outfit!

That’s…his hospital coat.

“Why does the Zayne in these memories appear to be from another era?” You look over at this Zayne and, even if this is a dream from the past, you can still feel anxiety bubbling in your chest.

“Each one is my life of another time.”

“Is your destiny and the jasmine intertwined?” As this version of you asks questions, you are left with no one to ask anything to.

Questions going unanswered and you ponder if maybe you– well, the protagonist of the games– are supposed to represent the jasmine flower.

“All I can recall is my end with that moment.”

“So…you know what I saw just now?”

At this point, you’re not sure if Zayne is upset or relieved to finally have someone to talk to.

“Again and again and again like a cycle…I do not remember what happens after. Therefore, these buds can never blossom. ‘Tis why I bring each one here.”

You stare out at the seemingly endless ocean of flower buds. If each one represents a memory without an end, then how many are there?

If you recall Zayne’s note: ‘Once again, jasmine appears…’

“Isn’t the Foreseer able to see the fate of everyone in the world?” You decide to sit down in the grass next to the man, running your fingers through the dewy blades.

“He cannot see his own.” The wraith, seemingly moments away from dissipating into the sunlight, looks into the distance. “Such is Astra’s will.”

Astra this, Astra that. You’re starting to think this guy isn’t as great and everyone says he is…

With a sigh, you leave the library and slowly climb the staircase to check on your jasmine. Your thoughts still linger on the book’s illusion and especially the wraith within.

You reach the top of the Tower and there, Zayne stands in the moon’s immaculate glow. It seems he’s thinking deeply while gazing at the jasmine. You understand its significance to him now.

He’s pinning his desire to remember onto the flower bud.

“You are not forbidden from entering the library, but you cannot venture there as you please.”

It seems he knew you were inside of that illusion…

”Zayne, have you ever considered leaving the Tower?” Your voice was soft, hands nervously grabbing onto one another as you tried to keep the pitied expression off of your face. Zayne looks at you, his emotions inexplicable.

“What text did you find to make you ask such a thing?”

“Maybe…These jasmines represent the outside–” Zayne silently lifts his hand up into the air, and you are abruptly pulled toward him. His hand grasps your throat, his wintery gaze meeting yours.

“Your insolence reveals itself. Allow me to remind you of your place.”

What the hell is his problem!? Why did you even have to worry about him in the first place..?

Just steal the protocore and leave, simple and easy…Right? Well, it would’ve been easy if you hadn’t– No, don’t even finish that thought.

You are not in love with the guy who is literally choking you right now.

Fear spreads through your very being, your fingers clawing at his hand around your throat. All of the sudden, the Creatio protocore on his scepter releases an eerie, indigo light.

Frowning, Zayne relaxes his grip and pushes you away. “Stand back.” Your brows furrow as you cough, holding a hand up to your slightly sore throat.

Now what?

“Zayne?”

“Stay away from me.”

Before you can do anything, a myriad of brambles sprout and slither with serpentine precision toward Zayne.

“What are these things!?” You were clearly in a panic, worried for yourself but also…worried for Zayne.

Seemingly alive, the brambles ensnare Zayne’s entire body and dig into his limbs and torso. It’s exactly like your first meeting, when he was bound to the throne.

“There…Are they preventing you from leaving?” You bring your hand up to your mouth in shock.

This…was how Astra treated His followers?

Zayne’s gaze is as cold as winter’s sting. “The Foreseer cannot set foot outside of the Tower of Thorns.”

One of the brambles rushes for you and you try your best to move out of the way. It manages to scrape your arm, a clean cut, almost as if it were trying to send a warning toward you.

Zayne lifts his finger and a wall of ice appears to shield you from the remaining brambles. “A few swipes is all it needs to take your life.” You remember how the Creatio protocore glowed when you talked about being outside the Tower.

“...Is it because I suggested you leave this place? Your wounds…Are they from the brambles?”

Is this your fault for mentioning anything?

“He is warning us.”

“...Astra?”

You were really starting to dislike this so-called ‘God’.

Though, you do recall that only Astra could “perpetually freeze” His Foreseer. The Creatio protocore…is that His method to keep an eye on the Foreseer?

Not only does Astra punish any attempt to leave the Tower, but even the mere thought of it is also intolerable.

“You’ve attempted to leave this Tower before…Haven’t you? That’s the reasoning behind all of your scars.”

What kind of God punishes His own followers?

“I have no recollections of such.”

“I’m sorry. I was unaware…I assumed you didn’t want to leave.” Your hand clenches into a fist.

Maybe…If you broke the Creatio– No, you still need it to ensure your survival.

“You’ve begged enough for forgiveness. Destiny’s guiding hand may have brought you here, but it is time to abandon your curiosity.”

The brambles seem to have calmed down and disappeared into smoke. If not for your wounded arm, you would’ve assumed you were dreaming.

“There will be a solar eclipse tomorrow. I must wait at the Tower’s pinnacle for the prophecy. Unless I tell you, you are prohibited from entering.”

“Astra gifted one of His eyes to the Foreseer. By walking the winding path of time did the Foreseer understand His passings. This is the power of a god.”

- Philos: Tome of the Foreseer

Hey guys! Hope you didn't forget about what I said earlier <3

I'm gonna soft-drop a few ideas I have here, just because I don't want to make a separate post if no one is actually interested!

So here's some old Google docs ideas I had; one was a marvel version of my hero academia– with like Iron Man as All Might and Spiderman as Izuku and our main character would've been someone else entirely. Gertrude Yorkes who is an actual character in the comics, who has a pet velociraptor (or a deinonychus). I have everything fleshed out (and by that I mean all of the teachers and I even included the Titans because...lets face it. They're some of the best DC characters.

I also had a sword art online fic and some black clover ocs but...let's not talk about them 😭

My miraculous type idea was instead of kwamis, there's spirits in the items. And it'll be slightly asian inspired with the two heroes being Yin and Yang to each other, like how Cat Noir and Ladybug are the opposites. Like the jewelry is called shinzō (which means heart), so if the jewelry is destroyed the divine beast inside of it will die. And the top evil person being a hot lady, possibly the female mc's older sister or something.

I had another my hero idea, but since it's hard to insert ocs into the main plot, I made my own school with teachers, students, etc. So instead of trying to fit an oc in, I decided to make it so much more difficult for myself by making over 20+ new characters and quirks for a new school in the universe of mha. 🕴 I still have it, but I honestly doubt I have plans to write it 😭 or any of the above ones besides maybe the miraculous spin-off one.

I had a BL (boy's love, gay, yaoi) isekai idea where either the mc is afab non-binary and isekai's into the body of a male character or I might just make them a boy instead? However, I might scrap this idea because I had a better one a few months later that was the mc being a trans man, but not being accepted so he uh...possibly unalives himself and then wakes up in an alternative universe where he's a man (and it's a/b/o for some reason) and the plus side to this is, the version of him in this universe was a trans woman. So, they switch realities and it's a whole "they were put in the wrong universe on accident" type of thing. Either way, both ideas were a/b/o and I definitely had more written for the first one (I even named it "Out of Tune"), but it's a toss up for if I'd write it or not.

I have an isekai one where the mc went into a game she was playing, a mature game so– yeah. I have an S-rank hunter story since there's not many dungeon stories with a female mc. I have a random regression story that I don't have much written on...one called "All the villainess wants to do is die", which I might change tbh, but the mc possibly isekai's ofc. And of course she's a wrongly accused villainess who is actually a saintess. There's magical powers usually based on family lines, there's divine beasts, just wild stuff like that!

Then I have a non-isekai story similar to the manwha "Philomel" where the mc reads a book about her life at a young age and learns she might be a fake princess and eventually gets executed for being a fake.

And then finally, my magnum opus, the game of thrones-like story. I had no name for it, the Google doc is simply named "Vothad, Odura" which is the name of the world it takes place in. Vothad is the capital in the North and I have the other names as well, but this note is getting pretty lengthy tbh 😭 so I'll make Odura have it's own post if anyone is interested in the gods and the universe itself. I made all of this for a project in the 12th grade to create our own country, only for my teacher to say...it had to be based in the real world on the day of the presentation so...imagine my surprise. I even had to come up with a stupid national anthem 😭

There is a lot more I could say about this one, but just let me know if yall wanna hear about it and I can make a separate post for it! Like I have some mythos I was working on, a lesbian goddess couple who spawned a kid from their brain like Zeus having Athena– and just about the geography of Odura!

Anyway, I am so sorry for the rant, I doubt anyone came here for original work. Yall are just here for the hot LADS men and, honestly, I can't blame you 🩷

Taglist; @orphicmeliora , @yoongi-tunes , @mitzkooni , @hiqhkey, @tanspostsblog , @shypotatoes013-blog

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supernaturalscribe67 · 1 year ago

Text

Euphoric

Words: 3,587

POV: 3rd Person and brief 1st Person

Pairing: Gabriel x Trans!FTM!Winchester!Reader

Warning(s): Fluff, Language, Dysphoria, a single mention of Deadname (D/N), self-hate, mention of past self-harm, attempted self-harm, hurt/comfort

Summary: Dysphoria can hit at any moment, and when it hits, it hits hard. The reader is going through a tough time with the way he looks, doubting himself and the people around him. When he feels at his lowest, ready to seep back into his old ways, his boyfriend, Gabriel, is there to help him out.

Request:

Hi I've been binge-reading your stories recently and I was wondering if you could do this request. :)

So a Gabriel/FTM!Reader where the reader is dealing with really bad dysphoria (possibly mentioning past SH?) and a comforting Gabe? Possibly with an established relationship?

(Would be so fucking rad if he Sam and Dean's younger brother!!)

Tysm even if you don't do this, I love your work so much and it's helped so much recently

@genekies

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long to get out, hun! A lot has been going on at work that has taken my focus away from writing. However, I finally found the inspiration to write this with the help of my Supernatural novels that I found hidden away in a box! I really hope you enjoy this story and that it brings you some type of comfort! Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Much love~

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Good morning, sugarplum!

Sorry, I couldn’t be there when you woke up this morning. Duty calls. I’ll be back later tonight! I hope you have a good day! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! <3

Your Casanova,

Gabriel

Why do some people wake up with an already negative attitude? A multitude of factors could be the cause; relationship issues, low self-esteem, stress, unhealthy thoughts, and lack of sleep are just a handful of possibilities. Some have their reasonings read out to them by a licensed professional they pay an arm and a leg to visit every couple of weeks, while others lack the funds and/or the proper motivation to cope, so they bottle it up inside, casting it away to the darkest depths of their mind for weeks, maybe months. They ignore the feelings they get, the troubles that stalk them, until the bottle inside of them fills to the brim. It shakes and stirs, begging for release. It spills out, slowly at first, but then the pressure becomes too much to handle, and it combusts.

And (Y/N) felt like he was about to explode.

Nothing looked right. His jawline wasn’t sharp enough, his curves were more pronounced than ever, his binder didn’t make him flat enough, he was too short, the hair on his face was barely considered peach fuzz at that point, and his eyes - yes, his eyes - screamed femininity. Screamed female. Screamed everything about you is wrong. Screamed;

You are not a man, and you never will be.

It wasn’t often that his gender dysphoria acted out as bad as it had that day. Sure, there were times when he woke up and the negative thoughts just never seemed to go away. The thoughts that made certain parts of him look wrong, misplaced. Rarely had his mind told him that everything about him was wrong. Rarely did his mind tell him he wasn’t the man he wanted to be. But, when those thoughts arose, they hit him hard, as if he got struck by a semi-truck going eighty on the interstate. It hollowed him out and made him a shell of his former self. A shell that was slowly wilting away.

His brothers were the first to notice his shift in demeanor. While he normally came into the kitchen every morning with a goofy grin on his face, a smile was nowhere to be seen. His head was cast down and he barely spoke a word to either Sam or Dean. Another thing they noticed was the lack of exposed skin he had. Usually, (Y/N) would walk out of his room clad in a t-shirt and shorts in the morning. That day, he wore a hoodie, sweatpants, and socks. The temperature in the bunker hadn’t changed, so it wouldn’t make sense that he was cold. If he had been, he would have complained about it for the rest of the day, yet he didn’t say a word. Instead, he silently got some coffee and sat down with his brothers at the table. He didn’t engage in conversation.

Later on, the three of them sat in the library, heads buried in books and computer screens. They would typically sit around, and talk about potential hunts or random information that they had found. (Y/N) acted the same way he did when he was in the kitchen, though. He was physically present, but nowhere near as mentally present. His head was down, the cord from his earbuds wrapped around his phone, which was sitting next to the book he had been reading. It didn’t even seem as if he was actively reading the text. It had been ten minutes since he turned the page.

Sam leaned closer to Dean, who sat next to him. “Does he seem off to you?” He asked in a low, quiet voice.

Dean looked up from his computer and glanced over at his youngest brother. He hesitated, studying him for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah, something’s wrong with him. Has he said anything?”

Sam shook his head. “No.”

“Do you think it has something to do with Gabriel?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

Dean pursed his lips for a moment before he turned back to (Y/N). He leaned over and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. (Y/N) lifted his head to look at his brother and, for the first time that whole morning, their eyes connected. Dean noticed something almost immediately. His eyes were empty, void of any emotion. (Y/N) took an earbud out.

“Yeah?” He asked, voice low and monotone.

“Hey, man, you doing okay?”

(Y/N) looked away for a moment. “Yeah?” He shook his head and shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem a bit off today.”

“I’m fine.”

“Did something happen with Gabriel?” Sam asked.

“No? I said I’m fine.”

“Ok, well, obviously you’re not,” Dean said. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” (Y/N) spoke in an exasperated tone.

“(Y/N),” Sam leaned forward, palms flat on the wooden surface. “If something’s wrong, you know you can tell us, right?”

“Nothing’s wrong! Will you two stop fucking bugging me!?” He exclaimed.

(Y/N) slammed his book shut and shoved it away from him. Quickly, he stood, stuffed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, and stormed out of the library. Sam and Dean’s eyes were attached to him until he was out of sight. Dean and Sam shot a glance at one another, both of them opening their mouths as if to say something, but decided against it before they went back to their work.

(Y/N) was numb, aside from the small annoyance that had bubbled up inside of him from his brothers’ persistence. One common trait that was distributed through all the Winchester siblings was the lack of willingness to talk about their emotions. It was an ideology that was beaten into them when they were younger and first got into hunting. Bury your emotions deep within, don’t let them show, and don’t let your enemy know your weakness. Hell, don’t let your allies know your weaknesses, either. They’ll turn their back on you if they see you at your lowest. Stay strong, hide your feelings, and don’t let anyone in, even if it’s family.

When he made it back to his room, he walked over to the small dresser that was pressed along the far wall. Beside the dresser sat his tennis shoes. He grabbed them and put them on. He walked back over to the dresser, opened up the top drawer, and rummaged around in his undergarments for a moment before he fished out a pack of Marlboro Reds. The box was slightly creased, the plastic rustling in his grasp. It had been a while since he had a cigarette. He hadn’t felt the need for them, but he could feel the stress and anxiety grumble inside of him. He needed something to clear his mind. (Y/N) placed the carton into his hoodie pocket and left his room.

As he made his way past the library archway, he was stopped by his brother’s voice.

“Where’re you going?” Dean piped up.

(Y/N) stopped in his tracks and turned towards them. “Out.”

“Out where?” Sam asked.

“Look, I’m just going to take a walk around the bunker, that’s all. Going to clear my head.”

Dean and Sam shared a look. “You sure?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) shrugged. “Just need a breather is all.”

“Alright, well…don’t go wandering too far.”

“I won’t.” (Y/N) shared a small smile.

Sam and Dean returned the smile as (Y/N) turned his back on his brothers and headed up the staircase toward the front door.

The afternoon sun slithered past the canopy of oak tree branches. Orange, red, and yellow leaves shined bright, painting the dirt floor like a kaleidoscope. About half a mile from the bunker, a dead tree had fallen during a heavy thunderstorm several years prior. The trunk has since been embedded in the ground, forming a natural bench in the middle of the forest. This was where (Y/N) had gone to clear his head.

He sat at the edge of the log, back slouched, elbows resting against his knees, and hands hung limply between his legs. The smoke from his lit cig wafted upward towards the treetops. The end of the cigarette slowly withered away, a small amount of ash falling upon the autumn leaves. His eyes were cast down and glazed over, the thoughts in his mind running at a hundred miles an hour.

You’re delusional. A man? No one would ever consider you a man. You look nothing like a man. Nothing like what you want to, and you never will. You’ll always look like the girl you were born as. You’ll always be (D/N), and there is nothing you can do about it. Sam, Dean, Gabriel? They’re all lying to you. They’re feeding into your delusion because they feel bad for you. They don’t love you or support you. They’ll never see you as a man. Never have and never will.

(Y/N) lowered his head as he brought the cigarette up to his lips. He inhaled deeply, feeling the burn of the smoke filling his lungs, before he brought the cig away from his mouth. He tapped the end of the cig, the ash falling onto the ground. As he shifted, the sleeves of his hoodie lifted, the remnants of depressive episodes from his past peeking out through the cotton fabric. His eyes shifted to the discolored scars. He could remember how he felt when he first made the scars. The relaxation he felt afterward, the relief. It was a distraction from the pain he felt within. It was a distraction that he desperately craved.

For a moment, he looked at the end of the cigarette. It was slowly dwindling to half its original length. He shifted it in his fingers and brought it to his wrist, stopping right before the end of the butt touched his skin. He hesitated and contemplated. (Y/N) closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and moved the cig closer to his arm.

“Hey Sugarplum,” the voice came out of nowhere.

(Y/N) let out a startled shout, the cigarette fell to the ground as he turned toward the sound of the voice. Sitting beside him on the log was Gabriel, his signature smirk etched onto his lips. (Y/N) sighed and leaned down, grabbed the butt, brought it to his lips, and took a final drag. He then lifted his foot and put the cig out on the bottom of his shoe before he flicked the remnants onto the ground. He placed his hand on the log and exhaled, the smoke leaving his lungs and creating a halo around his head.

“A little birdie or two told me you went on a walk. The little birdie also told me you weren’t feeling the best.” Gabriel said as he reached an arm around (Y/N)’s shoulders.

(Y/N) could feel himself instantly relax at Gabriel’s touch, the tension leaving his shoulders. So much was going through his head. So many emotions beating at his heart, begging to be released, begging to be expressed. Yet something was stopping them.

“I’m fine,” (Y/N) said, his voice soft.

The smirk was gone from Gabriel’s face, his expression turned more serious. He inched closer to (Y/N) so that their sides were pressing against one another. He pulled him close.

“You know that’s not true,” Gabriel whispered. He pressed his nose against (Y/N)’s cheek. He ran his fingers through his hair softly and soothingly. “I can hear everything going on in your pretty little head, sugar, and I know that it’s not quiet.”

Gabriel’s closeness was comforting, something that he had been craving all day. The longer Gabriel sat next to him, the more relaxed he felt, yet the demons were still scratching at the inner crevices of his mind. With the mixed feelings he experienced, it was all so overwhelming. (Y/N) recognized the familiar prickle of tears appearing in the corner of his eyes.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Gabriel breathed as he wrapped his arms around (Y/N)’s body, pulling him as close as he could, his head resting on Gabriel’s chest.

(Y/N) sniffled as he allowed the tears to fall, something that didn’t happen very often. Something he would, normally, not let himself do. Be vulnerable. Vulnerability is what gets you killed in the hunting career, and there was no time for that. Still, the warm feeling of Gabriel’s arms wrapped around him made him feel at home, made him feel safe, and told him that it was okay to let himself go.

Gabriel rubbed (Y/N)’s back. “Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” He asked quietly.

(Y/N) hesitated for a moment as he clasped his hands together. He rubbed the back of his knuckles, a soothing gesture he learned from a young age. “I don’t…” he trailed and let out a sigh, shoulders slouched. “I don’t look like a man.”

“What?” Gabriel furrowed his brows.

“I don’t look like a man, okay!?” (Y/N) exclaimed and moved away from Gabriel, standing abruptly. “I mean, look at me! I’m so short and feminine! Look at my hips! Look at my face! Everything about me is wrong. Everything about me isn’t what it’s supposed to be and it’s killing me.” (Y/N)’s voice got louder, frustration evident in his tone.

The tears were freefalling, and (Y/N) did not attempt to wipe them away. Gabriel simply stared up at him, listening, a saddened expression making its way across his face.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and see nothing but a body that you hate? A body that you don’t want to be in? That you feel like you don’t belong in? It feels like my life is a lie, that I’ve just been kidding myself when I said that I could finally be the man that I always wanted to be. Everything that you or Sam or Dean have said about me, validating my emotions, supporting me through everything, was just some pathetic pity party in an attempt to make me feel better about myself, even though, deep down, I know I’m not going to look anything like I want to. I’m not going to be the man that I’ve always dreamt I’d be because I’m stuck. I’m stuck in this worthless body that I was forced to have and I can’t do anything about it. I want…”

The tears were coming faster now, his words becoming shaky, almost unintelligible.

“I want to be happy…but I look at myself and I just can’t.”

Gabriel stood and walked over to him. “(Y/N), look at me,” he reached down and cupped (Y/N)’s wet cheeks, lifting his head so that he could gaze into his reddening eyes. He used his thumbs to wipe the tears away. “Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?” He had a smile on his face.

(Y/N) sniffled. “What?”

“I see a handsome, strong, brave man who risks his life daily for the people that he loves. I see a man with a heart of gold, who would do anything to make other people happy. I see the most handsome man on the face of this planet, the most wonderful man that my father had ever created. More importantly, I see your soul.”

“My soul?”

“Yes, your soul. I see how bright, beautiful, magnificent, and glorious it is. How perfect it is. The man you truly are.”

(Y/N) looked down at the ground. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s middle. Gabriel wrapped his arms around him, running his fingers through his hair.

“I know it’s hard some days. You look at yourself and don’t like what you see. You feel like there’s nothing you can do to change it. That people aren’t going to see you for who you are. I hate to break it to you, sugarplum, but that’s all I see.” He chuckled deeply. “All I can see is the man you are. The man you were meant to be. And some days are going to be harder than others, you're going to beat yourself up more than you should, and that’s okay. Because, in the end, you’ll get through this. You’ll gain your confidence back. You’ll see yourself and finally say ‘This is me’, and I am going to be with you every step of the way.”

Gabriel leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of (Y/N)’s forehead.

“Because I love you. Every part of you. The parts that you like and the parts that you don’t like. I love it even more when you’re happy with yourself. When you love yourself. And even if I pop in one day and you’re dressed as an Oompa Loompa with a five-foot-tall bright green and yellow mohawk and a beard the size of Gandolf’s, then I would still love you.”

(Y/N) snorted and let out a short laugh. “You’re ridiculous.” (Y/N) shook his head. “An Oompa Loompa?”

“Hey, it’s not my place to judge if or when you decide to dress up as an Oompa Loompa.”

(Y/N) rolled his eyes, a smile curled into the corner of his lips. Gabriel brushed his wet cheek with his thumb.

“Feeling better?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, a little.”

“Good, I’m glad. And I’m proud of you.”

(Y/N) furrowed his brows and glanced up at Gabriel. “For what?”

“For telling me how you feel. If I know anything about you Winchesters, I know that that wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t. But…it felt good.”

Gabriel nodded. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against (Y/N)’s lips. When he pulled back, he stared lovingly into his eyes.

“You’re my person, (Y/N). The person that I love and care for, and if you ever feel like this again, just give me a shout and I’ll be there faster than you can get my name out of your mouth. I never want you to be alone when you feel like this. You don’t deserve to be alone through this. Promise me that you’ll call me next time you feel like this?” Gabriel’s hands trailed down from his face to his arms and stopped to grab his wrists gently. He rubbed them softly through the sleeves.

(Y/N) opened his mouth and hesitated. “I can’t promise, but I’ll try.”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Gabriel smirked and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Now, do you want to go back to the bunker? We can cuddle on your bed, and watch some of those terrible reality TV shows. I think I have a bit of an addiction to 90-Day-Fiance.”

(Y/N) smiled. “Do you mind if we sit out here for a little bit? It’s a beautiful day out and…I’m not quite ready to go back inside yet.”

“Of course, anything for my sugarplum,” he leaned forward, his nose brushing gently against (Y/N)’s.

“Thank you,” (Y/N) whispered. “I love you. I don’t deserve you.”

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. You deserve the world and every beautiful thing in it.”

“I don’t want the world. All I want is you.”

“Then have me you shall. Forever and always.”

“Forever and always?” (Y/N) lifted a hand, his pinkie finger sticking out.

Gabriel smirked and chuckled. He lifted a hand, hooked his pinkie onto (Y/N)’s, and looked deeply into his eyes.

“Forever and always.”

My Dearest (Y/N),

I’m writing this, not as one of my regular notes, but as a reminder to you. I want you to pack this away somewhere safe where you can take it out and read it whenever you feel down about yourself in any way.

You are strong. You are brave. You are handsome. You are perfect. You are loved. You are you.

I know it’s hard to see yourself in a positive light at the moment, and everything may seem like it’s closing in as if nothing is going right and it will never get fixed, but, just know, you’ll make it through this. Just like you’ve done on multiple hunts, you will prevail. You will conquer the enemy, even if that enemy is yourself.

Remember, you don’t have to fight this battle alone. I’m here for you, and so is Sam and Dean. We all love you so much and we want you to be happy! We love seeing your smile when you walk into a room. You brighten our day just by being you, and nothing will ever change that.

If you need anything, anything at all, just think of me, and I will be there for you. We can watch your favorite movie and I’ll even bring you some of those little dessert cakes you like from the cafe I took you to on our first date. Even if you don’t want to talk to me about it, I want you to know that you don’t have to suffer in silence. Not while I’m around. I’ll always be by your side, no matter what you go through.

I love you,

Forever and always,

Your Casanova,

Gabriel

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noroi1000 · 2 years ago

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Ayo, can ask for part 2 of yandere Geto is so good!!!!

Little Monkey, my sweetheart 2

Paring: Yandere Geto x reader

words: 1,4k

You got scared as soon as you saw the tall, dark-haired man approaching you with a tray filled to the brim with food.

You were hungry, but you didn't know if you could look at food.

Your brain was filled with thinking about why all this happened. Not thinking you're hungry. The truth is that you felt hunger hitting your body.

However, you were more concerned all the time if you were safe that way and if you were going to be okay.

You've accepted the fact that you'll never get out of here in your life. This temple you live in now is big. And this is your home... Many doors are locked, corridors are long and wide. And sometimes way forward lead nowhere.

Tired of running in the same direction all the time. Escape from his room, running through the corridors, looking for the sliding doors that will open. There weren't any, and you didn't want to try to pry the wood. You could only accept that you had to run. Or accept that there is no escape.

He, who always smiled as you ran past him to find a way out, wasn't laughing now. He always thought it was funny how desperate and struggling you were to get out of here. It was even cute to him. But now, a week after you've been here, it's not that fun for him. Repeating the same thing over and over often gets boring. And you can't help but feel like it won't do anything.

Because you got caught by him later anyway, or once or twice you came back to him yourself. You ran so far that you started to panic because you couldn't find any way you remembered running. Your brain was obsessed with panic that coursed through you. You didn't want to be left alone in this huge temple. Especially since there were strange creatures hanging around there. Even if the man who "loves you" wields these creatures. You're still terrified to see this. You run away from it.

He didn't even chase after you once to catch you. He just stood by the door to his room, watching. And after a while you came around the corner, looking at him with terrified eyes.

However, you were relieved to see him. Inner peace brought you that you were not alone here. And also that you know this man.

You lay in bed, blinking weakly as he sat on the edge of the mattress next to you.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, placing the tray on a small table nearby.

"No..." you mumbled softly, hugging your pillow.

"Why?"

His fingers brushed your forehead gently, picking up stray strands of hair.

"Chain... And I'm afraid to be here alone..." you moaned.

You didn't notice him touching you. You might even hug him. Just to make sure someone is there for you... You don't want to be here alone, and you were glad that he was always around.

Even if he left, he would come back later.

"I know that little chain is uncomfortable..." he murmured sadly, looking at the leather band that is attached to your ankle above the foot, and there is also a thin but strong chain that connects your leg to the leg of the large bed. "And if I take it off you today, will you sleep in bed with me?"

You thought about your answer for a moment.

And you finally nodded your head in agreement.

You were able to touch him. In the time you've been here, you've learned something about him, especially because he's been telling you things to make you know him better. And he knew everything about you.

"You will never be alone here. I am here almost always. And there are girls in other rooms. Besides, they've been wanting to meet you for days."

"Girls...?" You asked, watching as his fingers deftly unhook the chain from your leg.

His hands began to massage the irritated skin.

"I told you about them. Two girls I look after. They will surely love you. Just like me." He looked at you lovingly. "I have some of your favorite food. Choose whatever you want from it. I'll come over later and fix you a bath. And when the day is over, I hope I can hold you to sleep in my arms. I'll be back soon, little Monkey~. I love you, baby~."

You saw him leave the room with a small smile.

You know he didn't lock the door.

But you didn't even want to think about plans to get away from here.

Maybe life as his pet to cuddle, integrate and love will be a good life?

After all, he is able to provide housing in the great temple, and he also brings you the best things you can ask for. Even if you didn't ask him for anything. He just came with all the things you could possibly need.

He dressed you up like a dress-up toy in whatever he liked. Or rather, what will look beautiful on you.

Even though you weren't his prisoner like you might think, and it didn't feel like prison, you felt different.

Not as a prisoner, not as a free person.

Would you like to fall in love with someone who already loves you...

Maybe then it would be easier for you to spend your days with him.

And you will also feel happy.

For now, you can sleep peacefully with him next to you and not run away from him.

A smile can appear on your face.

Besides, falling in love with him won't be that hard.

He's really nice, and apart from his behavior being weird at times, he's someone you might consider a cool person.

Plus, he's handsome. So caring.

He gives you all the best things, and waits until you are satisfied first. Only then does he focus on it.

You looked all over you, nightgown made of fine material. No signs of you being unwell. You are clean, without any wounds or bruises, you keep getting food. You are literally pampered.

There are no more restrictions on movement on your arms or legs. You are in a comfortable room, with a window where you can see the outside world, you can leave this room.

Your kidnapper is such a very nice man.

Even though you're a bit like a pet to him. Because like he said: He hates people without cursed energy. And also, you are a human without it.

But he told you that he loves you. But for the sake of his psyche, he kept saying that you were his beloved pet.

How can someone who hates all people love only one person? You're still below him in society.

If he loved you like you were a sorcerer, it would be different. He can't have in his "family" someone who is from a society of people he hates.

But he loves you, and for the sake of his psyche, he might have told himself that you were his beloved sweet pet to pamper.

You thought for a long time, and before you could reach for the tray of food, he was back.

You looked at his cute smile as he approached you.

"So how are you? Did you enjoy the food?" he asked, then looked down at the untouched tray. His smile faded a little. "You haven't eaten anything. Why?"

Sitting on the bed, your head dropped slightly as you stared at your hands.

"Sorry..." You groaned, thinking you had pissed him off. You didn't want to explain to him that you were about to start eating because he wouldn't believe you anyway.

He sighed and suddenly you felt the bed next to you drop down as he sat there, not even trying to sit down gently.

He grabbed the metal tray on the table and moved the table closer, handing you the fork.

A spoon with a creamy dessert suddenly appeared at your mouth.

As you looked at him questioningly, he suddenly picked you up, placing you on his lap and started feeding you.

The moment you had enough food because he was feeding you so much, you buried your face in his neck, wanting to avoid further feeding.

Once he felt it, he pulled you closer and started hugging you. Holding you against his body while you felt strangely relaxed in his arms.

It's like you've never been here and he's close to you.

Because this man has never done anything wrong to you, you can accept his love that he pours out on you.

And maybe someday you'll be able to give him the same?

#jjk geto #geto suguru #suguru geto #geto x reader #jjk x reader #geto x y/n #geto x you #geto suguru x reader #yandere geto

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error-dream-was-found · 6 days ago

Text

More proof that I'm alive and writing

You know what is better than one snippet to prove that your author is not dead? Two snippets! (Yes, I have the attention span of a hyperactive squirrel and jump between two works but this ain't about that)

Snippet 'monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster' edition:

“- should kill him.”

Dream's train of thought crashed when he caught a piece of someone else's conversation, and it didn't take a genius to figure out who they were referring to. Suddenly, being punished by Bad became a lesser concern in the face of a new, worse punishment. He had tried so hard, endured months of torture, pain, and dehumanization just to survive. Now people wanted to take even that from him once again. He didn't come this far to die here. He’d rather they untie Quackity and continue his training than die. But despite the panic seizing his chest, he couldn’t get his mind to focus on all the voices. He could only catch bits and pieces of everything being said.

“-got out?”

“Should’ve killed-”

“Less trouble-”

“- put him back.”

“- can’t be free.”

“- monster-”

“- too dangerous-”

With each word, each clipped bit of conversation he heard, fear gripped his heart stronger. Every once in a while, he could hear one of his friends’ voices speak up in his defense, attempting to placate the crowd but it was nearly drowned out by everyone else. He thought his friends would protect him. Now, he wasn’t so sure. There were too many people, even on the odd chance that his friends would try and fight for him they would be outmatched. In the best-case scenario, people might believe he had manipulated them. He could probably convince them of it. But if not … his friends could die and it would all be his fault! He couldn’t let that happen!

Maybe his friends would be smart and not fight for him? There were too many people and they all hated him, they all wanted him dead. Only a fool would try to fight them all-

“Dream?”

A voice sounded out near him, filled to the brim with worry, but Dream didn’t hear that. All he could hear in his head was contempt and disgust, voices talking about killing him before he could cause more trouble and hurt everyone again. His friends were trying to explain, but he knew it would not work. No one ever listened when he tried to explain. Why would they now? They only cared about a single thing—putting him six feet under. Maybe after that, they would ask questions, but it would be too late. It was always too late by the time they asked.

He flinched, shying back from the voice, only to freeze when he realized he had nowhere to go. The wall was firm against his back and there was no escaping his punishment. But he didn’t want to die! Tears pushed into his eyes as the desperation crept in. He didn’t want to die, he was just 22 and he still hadn’t made it up to his friends and he- he never got to experience what a family is and-

A black, clawed hand, far too big to belong to a human, entered his field of vision. The claws were shining sinisterly in the light, promising pain. He could already feel them tearing through his flesh and ripping him to sheds. Just like sir’s knives did before.

Dream’s already rapid breathing sped up even more when the mental image formed, and he curled in on himself instinctively, shielding Patches with his whole body. The cat squirmed in his hold, trying to get out, but he didn’t let her, he couldn’t. The demon was too close, his claws just moments from tearing into Dream and-

“- better off death-”

“No!”

#c!dream #dsmp #c!george #c!badboyhalo #c!bad #c!sapnap #c!quackity #c!sam #c!karl #dream smp #dsmp fanfic #dsmp fanfiction #monsters don't deserve hugs #can i tell you a story?#snippet

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binniesoob · 1 year ago

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The Name Chapter: Freefall Concepts Analysis

let's analyze the concept pictures and trailers for the new upcoming TXT album! there are a lot of details hidden everywhere 👀

looks like my predictions were mostly right btw 🤭 if you haven't yet, i suggest you read them here before reading this post because they are strictly connected!

— REALITY VERSION

We didn't get an obvious autumn setting, but we did get colder rainy weather:

TXT just fell down to earth, to the harsh reality of things, they don't have nowhere to run away to anymore.

The vibes are very reminiscent of the Mess concept for Minisode 2, after all, TXT's feelings are the same: in Mess they just lost their first romantic love, their other/new Neverland.

Mess was also connected to the You version of Freeze, through props as well (the teddy bear, the flowers, the helmet, etc.), and Reality is now connected to You as well, because of the rain and umbrellas it looks like a darker sad version of it.

Just a quick recap...

1) YOU in Freeze = TXT found their first romantic love (aka Moa, very y/n fanfic of them ik ik) and invite them on a date.

2) MESS in Tuesday's Child = Moa doesn't show up to the date because it's actually tootiming all five of them 🤡 (see Lo$er=Lo♡er mv and Good Boy Gone Bad Japanese version mv). TXT are now about to go back to their childhood Neverland to mend their broken hearts and refuse the pain that comes with growing up.

3) REALITY in Freefall = TXT are heartbroken again, this time because they had to leave Neverland too and there's no way of escaping growing pains... 😔

(i swear i'm gonna complete the storyline summary with Minisode 2 by the end of the year 🧍‍♀️)

This version is also FILLED! TO! THE! BRIM! with hints through words and phrases written everywhere, on walls, signs, clothes...

If you zoom in the pictures you should be able to read them, i'm gonna list all those i found and collected and what i think they stand for:

• "step to earth" = TXT are back to earth/reality

• "tel: 03042019" and "fax 08222019" = the numbers contain the dates of TXT debut and moa day: TXT should talk their feelings out with eachother and connect with Moa again (are we going to see TXT coming in contact again with Moa in the music video? 👀 are we gonna get love songs again in this album?)

• “find my feet” = TXT need to let go of escapistic fantasies and come back down to earth. the meaning of this phrase also is "to start becoming comfortable in a new situation"

• “parachute” = it probably references something that represents a "saviour" for TXT during their harsh return to reality, it could be Moa and the Star 🤔

• “loadstar” = the STAR they need to light up again rembering their promise song and singing it together, also pretty sure the it's the title track name or part of it 😧 looks like they weren't fooling us in the end with the signs on the beach pic from Temptation-Farewell 🤡👍

• “dive” also written as "•Di♡E!•" in the black&white running-in-the-rain group pic = could be a track name, perhaps referencing Lo$er=Lo♡er 😮!!

• “rags rags rags” = could be the remains of TXT's inner selves after not having Neverland/Magic Island anymore 🤔

• "lost of found " = TXT lost themselves at Neverland and when they forgot their true names as children, but are now going to find themselves again once they remember them.

• " Running Instead of crying" = TXT shouldn't cry mourning Neverland (but focus on what's ahead of them instead and run towards it ?)

• "kicking tomorrow kicking" = they need to hold on, accept that tomorrow is coming, keep going and keep fighting

• "stand tall, walk tall, stand still" = they should be proud and confident of who they are but ? stay the same ? 🤔

• "one dream" = TXT's motto, they need to remember what they are really fighting for and what's truly their goal

• "in dreams begin responsibility" = if TXT dream to turn the world into a brighter place again, where people believe in their dreams, through awakening the Star, they have to take responsibility for it.

This should be all but if you notice i missed something feel free to point it out <3

Now let's focus on the store behind TXT in the group pictures! Credits to @/txtbook on twitter because i included what they wrote as well.

The shop is called LOADSTAR and it's in the building 304... remember the train also called 304 that previously showed TXT memories and predictions? The shop offers repairings for VCRs 👀

@/txtbook:

(at the shop) they repair the DVD that contains memories and we have the theme of memories & "remembering the name" in txt concept + since the building number is 304 it's great connection to their "start line" aka magic island but now in reality!

Loadstar is a guiding star used in navigation and MOA are always referenced as Stars + morse code was used for txt debut album TDC: STAR & questioning films words (true names?) — (me: yes, their true names👍)

The LoadSTAR shop that also sells music instruments & radio can fix their "melancholy DVD" & give back memories about their start line, dream & magic, music, song of a star 😭

And guess what Beomgyu holds in the CLARITY version? 👀 a video camera

but first let's analyze...

— MELANCHOLY VERSION

On a recent Weverse Live Soobin, Taehyun and Hueningkai opened up about their trainee days, in what conditions they rehearsed in the old basement of the old BigHit building (in 2014-16 -ish if i'm correct) here's a extract:

🐰 when we were in the basement practice room, there was a time when the ventilator wasn’t working…the ventilator was broken, the air conditioner was broken, there as water leaking onto the floor, there was mushroom growing on the floor 🐧 the mushrooms were really… 🐰 and since we’d have dance lessons in that situation for like 8-9 hours, the mirror was barely visible 🐧 because of the humidity 🐰 the mirror would get all fogged up because of the humidity making things barely visible 🐰 so we’d practice and… 🐿️ we used to wipe it down with newspaper 🐰 oh right! we’d all wipe it away with newspaper 🐰 and then we’d open the window for ventilation but leaving the window open in the middle of winter…opening the window when you’re already sweating makes you feel super cold 🐰 so we’d be shivering while trying to get some ventilation in the room 🐰 at that time, i kinda really hated the company, i hated our teachers… 🐰 but when else would we be able to experience something like that? 😅

source

This concept seems reminiscing of that. They were a group of boys working hard for their dream of debuting and making music, holding on despite the hard reality and injustices they had to face everyday.

This concept also features a wolf dog !

we already saw one in Frost mv

Yeonjun's real name is "promise" and the hint for it is "the one who shall not eat dogs"

5:53 is the hour between ‘dog and wolf’ from the French expression "l'heure entre chien et loup", it's the time when you can't distinguish a friend from a foe: it might reference how TXT will have to fight eachother and themselves in the rest of The Name Chapter

— CLARITY VERSION

This concept reminds of TXT abandoning Neverland in the The Name Chapter Concept Trailer. TXT used to travel to Neverland at Blue Hour (the sunset), but they don't go this time: when night comes they are still on earth.

honestly, the first thing that came to my mind when i saw these pictures was the last line from from Dante's Inferno: "E quindi uscimmo a riveder le stelle", translated "and thence we came forth to see the stars again". After all, Neverland has been hell for TXT, a nightmare dressed as a daydream, and now that they have a clear mind, freed from the temptations, they can see the reality of things again and the real stars, amongst which there's their Star!

If these pictures seem familiar there's a reason...

they are actually a replica of The Dream Chapter: Eternity, Starboard Version.

TXT are in the same exact order: in Can You See Me mv (title track of TDC: Eternity) we saw Beomgyu and Taehyun fighting, and on The Name Chapter Concept Trailer we saw that Beomgyu and Taehyun are the last ones to fight eachother. In addition everyone but Beomgyu is facing to the right: Beomgyu is the last one left after they fight eachother in the concept trailer.

Taehyun stands opposite to Beomgyu and is not holding hands with him = they fight, but let's remember as well what we said about him experiencing the fall back to reality differently from the other members in the Temptation analysis and Freefall predictions. That is further confirmed by the fact that in the solo pictures for this version everyone is out in the open, while Taehyun is the only one inside a window. The same as Taehyun's boat being the only one flipped around in the Farewell concept.

They also are on a rooftop 👀 like in 0x1lovesong Japanese Version mv, and on the mini posters for this version looks like they are either falling or on the ground after the fall 👇

... but it also could be something else, judging by the colors that remind of the Nightmare concept in Temptation... we'll see 👀

edit: forgot to add that Kai has odd eyes like a certain someone...

Kai is not the cat but has been the most tempted beside Yeonjun by the devil/peter pan/cat because he doesn't want to leave childhood most of all members. We saw him hesitant to leave Neverland at the end of Sugar Rush Ride, and we know his evil doppelgänger (see Frost mv) is going to fight Kai himself and the members (see TNC concept trailer) inside a labyrinth he built (see TNC concept trailer and Run Away mv when Kai draws blue and yellow - like the cat eyes - intertwined circles around the school), he probably was tempted to take over by the devil/cat, that's why the odd eyes.

Also didn't notice that the glass dome that we had in TDC: Eternity, Starboard Version pictures has been shattered by TXT literally - there are glass pieces and metal bars on the ground at their feet in the Clarity pictures - and metaphorically!

TXT broke the barrier that locked them in eternal dream. (@/0X1ZEROBASEONE on twitter/X)

Remember how TXT were surrounded by glass pieces at the end of 0x1lovesong Japanese Version mv too? 👀 It's all coming together.

This is all i have for now! If i need to add more details i'm gonna either edit the post or use a reblog. Thank you for reading <3 see you in the next TXT LORE O'CLOCK 👋 :)

#txt #tomorrow x together #tomorrow by together #the name chapter: freefall #— txt lore #txt lore #txt storyline #the star seekers

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oogaboogaspookyman · 11 months ago

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L Is Real 2401

[THALASSOPHOBIA]

[1]

I hear something in the fountain's waters

Should i reach out and search for what's underneath the surface?

I hear something in the fountain's waters

I'm scared to know what's down in the depths of this strange fountain...

[2]

LET ME OUT OF HERE, I CAN'T STRUGGLE TO BREATHE FOR LONG

I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SUN IN A WHILE

I hear something in the fountain's waters, it's screaming for help

(I CAN'T BREATHE)

I'm too scared to see the body in the darkness

(WHERE'S MARIO?)

[3]

ALL THE WATER, GOING DOWN MY THROAT

I FEEL MY LUNGS FILLING UP TO THE BRIM

*what the actual HELL is down there*

(I'M DROWNING!!)

[4]

WHERE'S MARIO AT? I COULD REALLY USE HIS HELP, WHERE HAS HE GONE?

IT'S GETTING IN MY LUNGS, I DON'T WANNA DIE

*what the FUCK*

[5]

I hear something in the fountain's waters

Should i reach out and search for what's underneath..?

I'm too scared of what i may find in the depths

I don't want to see another body down there

I can't handle the bloodshed

I'd rather find a skeleton than wet rotting flesh

(MARIO!!)

[6]

I DON'T WANT TO DIE DOWN HERE ALL ALONE

GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME

*JESUS*

*the track be bangin' but THIS IS FUCKED*

(WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MARIO?!)

(HE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME HERE FOR DEAD, IT'S JUST NOT LIKE HIM AT ALL)

[7]

The hell is down there?! I can hear a man screaming from the bottom of this fountain?!

I'M STRUGGLING TO BREATHE

(Who's...)

EVERY SECOND I'M CLINGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE

(... That?)

[8]

I can see it now, the body of a hero chained to the bottom of the dark blue

(CAN YOU SEE ME? PLEASE?)

I would help but i'm too afraid for my safety to try and i don't see anyone else around to help

(IS MARIO REALLY NOWHERE TO BE SEEN?! I DON'T WANT TO DIE DOWN HERE ALONE)

[9]

I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE

(I want to try, but i'm scared)

I DON'T WANT TO DIE

(I want to try to help)

REAL

[10] (ALL TIME FAVORITE NOW)

I'm sorry, buddy, i'm scared...

(I DON'T WANT TO DIE...)

[11]

I'm sorry i couldn't help you more, at least i'm here to keep you company till the afterlife

(I GUESS IT'S TIME, MY WILL TO FIGHT IS DRAINING FASTER THAN I CAN PREVENT)

Let's just hope you can find your peace in a better place

(I DON'T WANT THIS TO REALLY BE MY END)

[12]

In the end, i'm too much of a coward to enter the deepest pits of the belly of the beast

(IN THE END, ALL I NEEDED WAS TO PASS AWAY NOT ALL BY MYSELF IN THE DARK)

I'm sorry, let's hope you find a better place

(IT'S THE END, I CAN'T FIGHT IT)

I'm sorry i couldn't do more than i have

(I CAN'T FIGHT LONG--)

(I CAN'T- SOMEONE HELP..!)

[13]

I'm sorry, nobody else is around to help

I'm sorry, i wanted to try but i'm scared...

Rest in peace

Luigi Mario

1983 - 1997

I'm-a Luigi, number one!

#spooker's banger lyrics #fnf #mario madness #L Is Real #SoundCloud

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wibblewubble · 2 years ago

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Argbur x GN Reader

Sorry for not posting anything, didn't have motivation to do anything but look at Tumblr pfft 😋

Warnings: PTSD flashbacks, slight panic attack, emotional hurt and comfort, kissing, mentions of some events in Wilbur's ARG.

Wilbur shudders as another bitingly cold shard of wind seeps through the cracks of the cabin walls and crashes into him ruthlessly. He's curled on the grey couch in a little ball, pulling his fluffy hooded jumper tight around himself, the thick hood covering his eyes. "Please please please be back home soon love," He whispers to the empty room in a quiet, almost numb voice.

"I'm so cold-"

It feels like freezing mist clings all over his body, like frost filling his lungs with every breath he takes, like he's turning to ice from the inside. Wilbur's fingers and limbs feel dangerously numb, even though he knows it's just in his head, trauma from an event years ago that he can't get rid of and out of.

Suddenly water crashes down from out of nowhere, tumbling his body over and over, keeping him from reaching the surface of the black water. He desperately claws his way up, trying not to inhale the water of the Thames. With a gasp, he breaches the surface, half drowned, and pulls himself up the riverbank, retching and coughing harshly, head swirling with deadening cold and the terrible feeling of his own mind shattering-

"Wilbur?! Baby can you hear me? Will!"

A worried voice brings him back from his memories, and he realises that he's rocking back and forth on his knees, hands clutching at his head. Wilbur's eyes are shut tight and brimming with tears, breaths jaggedly catching in his chest. Deliciously warm hands envelop him, and when the male pushes up his hood and opens his eyes, tears running down his cheeks, he's met with the sight of his beautiful Y/N; his starlight, his heart's desire.

They look down at him with a worried smile, cuddling Wilbur tight, letting him wordlessly grab their hands and press them to his face, his lips. A whining sound echoes through the room, the freezing man realising it's coming from him. He looks up at them guiltily, a horrible feeling filling him because he's upset his beauty, had them find him in the middle of one of his episodes and immediately have to go calm him down.

Y/N catches this look in his eyes and shakes their head firmly before he can apologise. They move so they sit in his lap, Wilbur immediately wrapping his arms around his love and pressing them close. He whines again, shuddering as their body heat surges through him in waves, melting the ice in his lungs, making it easier to breathe. His hands hurt, and when he pulls them inbetween the pair to examine them he sees them covered in dark line marks; indents of Wilbur's strands of hair when he clutched at it and pulled. Y/N sees them too and makes a worried noise, before grabbing them gently and pressing kisses to the marks, thumbs carefully brushing over them.

Will blushes red and lowers his head, away from his love's concerned gaze.

He never really understood why Y/N treated him this well; helping him through his panic episodes, keeping the cabin warm and toasty, even spending most of their time with him in this place miles away from civilization. He loved them with all of his heart, and wanted nothing more than to keep them in his embrace forever until he withered away.

Wilbur's head is tilted up by gentle hands on his chin, getting him to look into their beautiful eyes. Y/N smiles comfortingly, not choosing to talk until their traumatized love decides to. They pull him into a gentle kiss, Wilbur moaning softly into their mouth as the heat Y/N emits floods him and brings dark blush to his cheeks. He's trembling with pent up energy so he kisses back hard, hands roaming underneath Y/N's stripey longsleeve and over their back, tongue taking over their mouth and absolutely devouring it. After a while, Y/N pulls back, watching Wilbur open his eyes dazedly. They smile when he looks at them with large brown eyes. "Y/N, thank you so much." He mumbles in a low and tired tone. "You're helping enormously my darling, my love."

The other presses closer, tucking their head into the cold one's shoulder. "I always will, Will." They whisper. "There's no way I'd let you suffer this alone. My amazing boy~" Y/N kisses the crook of his neck, before leaving a trail of soft kisses all over his neck and jaw, smiling into them when Wilbur's hands reach up and thread his fingers into their hair, half pressing them closer to his skin, letting out a satisfied sigh. You didn't mind how touchstarved and high maintenance he was.

He had a horrible thing happen to him; something so traumatizing that he'd developed bad paranoia, PTSD, and a secretive soul. As Y/N got to know him and gently lead him to come out of his shell, the only thing he would say about what happened was that it had involved the Thames on a freezing December night and a person named Kai. They never pushed. They knew when to stop asking. "You're warming me up now. I don't feel so cold like before." Wilbur says into their ear, finally a smile making its way into his face. Y/N hums in response, and snuggles into his chest as he starts to recite a passage from one of his favourite poems:

"But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we— Of many far wiser than we— And neither the angels in Heaven above Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee"

"It's a beautifuly tragic poem, isn't it my darling?" Y/N nods. "But you cannot look over the sheer amount of love interwoven in those words, for I love you just as much -perhaps more- than what he felt for Annabelle Lee. You are my very lifeblood Y/N, my everything. My Annabel Lee. I will love you forever." They blush hard. His kind words always caught them off guard. "W-Wilbur." Y/N says bashfully, looking up at him. "I love you too. I'll never stop." He lets out another content sound, before his arms curl around them tighter and holds them securely as his head drops to press his cheek on Y/N's. It's about ten or so minutes of quiet cuddling before Y/N feels Wilbur's breathing slow down and his hold relax slightly. They look up to see him fast asleep, circle-framed glasses slipping down his nose, fluffy brown hair like fairyfloss falling over his eyes. The other smiles and carefully takes them off of his face, before tossing them carefully on the next sofa so they don't get crushed, once again curling against him like a cat, perfectly content to sit with Wilbur.

Y/N found themself falling asleep as well, so they sleepily give him one last kiss before tucking their head into his shoulder and drifting off into warmth.

Hope you enjoyed it! 😊 Feel free to comment, and reblog, and also if you have any requests for me to do fics on any of Wilbur's characters or SBI things don't hesitate unless it's NSFW between SBI.

-Wibble 💜

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x reader #argbur #bursonas #editor wilbur arg

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rosenongrata · 8 months ago

Text

an offer taken – i

summary: After running into Galene – a Dreamscape Motivator – in the Golden Hour of Penacony, Dr. Ratio and Aventurine find themselves trying to get information out of her – only for the tables to turn.

a/n: i am bored. more HSR OC blurbs. woo yeah?

cw/s: mostly just the boys going at each others throats (normal). sort of OC x Canon but also not really. OC-insert. POTENTIALLY OOC.

wc: 1.2k

"You truly think a naive Dreamscape Motivator will have any…tangible information? You sound desperate." Dr. Ratio sighs, his gruff voice filled to the brim with mild disappointment.

"Bet!" Aventurine protests, "I found one not too long ago, actually. I have a good feeling about her." He says with a pointed finger and prideful grin, but never does his smile reach his eyes.

"Okay…" Dr. Ratio holds back a groan, "And what is her name? Where is she?" He crosses his arms, his features stricken with what could be boredom.

"Follow me, my good sir!" Aventurine nods before striding away, his "friend" not too far behind him. "Her name is Galene. She's got a really sweet smile!" He notes aloud.

"…I am far too uninterested in what her smile is like, Aventurine." The doctor's eyes roll.

"C'mon, Dr. Ratio, lighten up a little! You have to appreciate the little things life has to offer sometimes." The blonde advises sagely.

"…Right." The azure-haired man sighs.

"Hey again, Ms. Galene! Or, uh—" Aventurine stumbles over his words as he takes smooth steps up to her seat outside of a restaurant, "Are you…?" He blinks, curiously glancing down at her where she sits.

"Hehe, I am not married…or even with anyone." Galene smiles, her light pink eyes twinkling under the Golden Hour's city lights. She places the small cup of her drink back down on its coaster.

"Ohhh," He nods and grins, "Are you looking for anyone—"

Dr. Ratio clears his throat loudly from behind Aventurine – he's had enough shenanigans for one day. The professor would much rather get this meeting over with as quickly as possible. All he desires is a long, hot bath to cleanse himself from the filth and sins of the world—

"Oops." Aventurine laughs sheepishly, "This is Doctor Veritas Ratio – he, uh, is…a friend of mine!" He lies through his teeth.

"Good evening, Dr. Ratio," Galene rises to her feet, offering her hand to the esteemed doctor, "I'm sure Mr. Aventurine has already told you, but… I am Galene, a Dreamscape Motivator. It's my pleasure to meet you." She nods.

Despite his initial hesitation and how he stared a little too long at her hand, he gives her a firm handshake – only to have it returned rather roughly. He blinks - swearing to himself that she was about to rip his arm off during it. She could use some practice, that much he knows.

(I cannot tell how earnest and sincere she is right now… Albeit, I have barely met her, but… Something about her strikes me as odd.) He gives her a nod, keeping his thoughts to himself for now.

"Would you like me to order you two some drinks? I don't mind." Galene takes her seat at the table once more, one hand resting near her cup and the other on her lap.

"Sure! That sounds great! Although, I could pay instead, Ms. Galene. I'd hate to take your money away from you…" Aventurine offers.

"If she wants to pay, then let her pay." Dr. Ratio hisses.

Galene snickers, "Please, it's my treat." Her eyes crinkle with her smile.

And so the men take their seats, placing their drink orders in for her to pay for. Aventurine feels a tad bit of guilt in his gut but neglects the wrenching in favor of giving her his utmost attention. Dr. Ratio – on the other side of the table - merely listens to them chat, regardless of how bored he is with the whole scene.

Galene pushes her black-haired ponytail behind her shoulder before taking a sip of her dark-colored drink. When she sets it back down – handling the cup like porcelain – she turns her attention back to the two men.

"How are you both faring this evening?" She inquires, her voice soft and light - nowhere near intrusive to one's thoughts. If anything, hearing her speak is like a loving lullaby before bed.

"We're doing fine, thanks for asking!" Aventurine nods.

"I was going to say I am quite bored, actually." Dr. Ratio huffs, his arms crossing again under his chest.

"Aw, don't say that…" His comrade smiles wearily, "Sorry about him… He has no friends."

"Pardon?" Veritas groans.

Galene is hardly bothered by their bickering – if anything, she finds them amusing, eliciting soft giggles out of her. The men shoot her confused stares.

"I like you two already." She smiles a little brighter, "I know you probably find each other insufferable, but…" She glances away while she brushes stray hairs out of her face.

"But…we are amusing. Our plights are amusing—" Dr. Ratio deadpans.

"Y'know, I'm taking that in stride." Aventurine snickers, "A Dreamscape Motivator must be stressed a lot of the time with…the work they have to take on."

"I suppose so," She nods in agreement, "I'm not too stressed or overworked, though, I'm pretty happy so far. It's…nice to see others cheer up and smile."

"Fair enough." The blond shrugs, "You're very compassionate, Ms. Galene—"

"Must I sit here and watch you fail to flirt with her at every turn, Aventurine?" Veritas intercepts.

"I'm not—" He sighs and goes to retort, but is interrupted again.

"I beg to differ." The doctor scoffs.

And they break out into a hushed argument, leaving Galene to observe them up close.

(Silly boys…) She glances at the professor, (He's calmer but uncomfortably aloof and forthright. I'd even say he's a little too rude for his own good. He seems so confident, but he’s covering up insecurity.) She looks to Aventurine, (And… Aventurine is a sweetheart, but he hides things from everyone…even himself. I can see it in his vibrant yet lightless eyes. He's missing pieces of himself right now… Truly a pity.) She glances at the busy streets, (What would HooH think?)

“Well, boys, it’s been a fun time - thank you so much for the plentiful entertainment, hehe.” Galene snickers, poking fun at their poor chemistry.

She then swiftly rises to her full height – legs and back straight as she straightens her clothes and plucks her purse from the table.

“Are you leaving? We were such poor guests. Any way I can make it up to you?” Aventurine immediately offers, his smile softening when he locks eyes with her.

“I must leave, unfortunately. I have an appointment in reality soon,” She sighs wistfully, “But…” She hums thoughtfully.

“But?” The men say in unison and proceed to throw dagger-like glares at each other.

“But!” She perks up, grabbing a small business card from the breast pocket of her feather-lined coat, “…Feel free to contact me any time. You’re both cute in your own ways, so… Think about talking to me at my office some time soon. Though, one at a time, please.” She slides the card to Aventurine, the tips of their fingers kissing on accident,

“I’d love to pick your brains.”

She then promptly leaves after those rather ominous words – not giving the men a chance to say anything once they broke out of their speechlessness.

“Haha…” Aventurine laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Hoo boy… She, uh…” He sputters, unsure how to convey his thoughts.

“I do believe she has already figured us all out from this meeting alone. Why else would she offer us…therapy?” Dr. Ratio sighs heavily.

“Y’know what? I agree with you for once. She’s got us figured out.” The blonde sighs with him in unison, “I gotta say, though… We both sorely underestimated her.”

#mine #oc #original character #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x oc #hsr dr ratio #hsr aventurine #hsr oc #honkai star rail oc #fic: an offer taken #does this even count as a fic ?? whatever. fuck it we ball

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year ago

Note

Hello, its me again telling the story of my beef with Cheritz for how they completely shoved Saeyoung's trauma under the rug.

It still feel angry and resentful that even in his own timeline his trauma and his mental condition was not addressed at. all.

Many of his decisions were not healthy for neither himself nor Saeran but it was bcs he didn't know any better. He knew he had to make a difficult decision and he did it.

As his mc we weren't allowed to do anything for him even when we could see how he clearly didn't care for himself.

Seeing Saeyoung doing everything alone all throughout Saeran's recovery was really hard for me. Perhaps because I relate to him so much, I could feel what he must've been going through. Always on an edge trying to make the correct decision so that nothing falls apart. Seeing Saeran in such a way must've been so unbearably hard for him but he had to stay strong for the both of them ignoring all the feelings of guilt, shame, anger, self loathing and so much more filling him to the brim. Making sure that Saeran is safe no matter what. Also completely ignoring his own health in the process.

Saeyoung should've had an arc dedicated to him at least starting to unlearn his trauma. I know it would've taken time but I didn't mind, they already addressed everyone else's trauma. They could've definitely gone another mile for him and involved mc too.

This is just something I always struggle with as a Saeyoung MC. Whenever I play any route or after ending or backstory or literally anything in the game. Nowhere is Saeyoung's trauma addressed and validated. It's implied but never addressed. Rather treated as a noble sacrifice on his part. Pain that he would happily take on for Saeran's wellbeing because he is just so selfless. But that is so wrong, there is so much guilt and trauma behind it and it feeds into his extreme paranoia making him unable to see that he is not only holding himself back from healing but Saeran as well.

I felt so useless throughout the whole sequence. I just wanted to be there for him in any way, be it bringing them something to eat or just sharing a simple phonecall with Saeyoung asking him how things are going, to let him talk about his feelings. But we were just made just spectators unable to do anything but see them.

I'm sorry for dumping this onto you, I saw your post about Saeyoung's parentification and had so many thoughts I wanted to share. I knew Saeyoung had deep rooted trauma that made him completely disregard himself and his needs but didn't have a word for it. You explained it perfectly. And I appreciate you for that. These aspects of him are hardly ever talked about so I was really happy you did.

So even if you might disagree with me on this, but I believe Saeyoung deserved to have an arc to unpack his trauma. Alas it's not possible anymore.

Thank you again Kait 🫶

I'm not a Saeyoung MC by any means, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him and want better for him. I love him like a brother and I have a hard time seeing him suffer over and over again when he has the ability to reach out and ask for help in his route and subsequent after ending.

I get why he does what he does, and I've had the time to understand him as a person to know why he made a lot of... well, reckless choices in the name of doing the right thing. He knows that sometimes, there is only one option, and it's taking the road that's just a little less worse in comparison to the other road you could take. That's just the way it works sometimes, and there isn't another way around it. But, in most situations where Saeyoung is suffering—

He could've gotten all the help in the world if he asked for it. He has trust issues and he's fraught with paranoia, but the RFA will not give up on him no matter what. If he asks for help, he'll get it. That's been proven countless times. But, it's his trauma that makes him deny the help every time. He doesn't want to help himself. He wants to help his baby brother. That's his reason for living.

But, he doesn't need to be selfless to the point where he suffers, and I wish—I wish so often—that Saeyoung could've been allowed to have a lot more agency over his trauma, as well as the ability to talk about it and confront it. He deserves love and to be helped the way he helps his family. He shouldn't deny it. He shouldn't run away from it. That's a huge narrative arc of his route and we all know it.

The Secret Ending could've done well to have added that to his MC. Something, anything, just a snapshot of MC trying to help him and him taking that help. Even if that help was as small as bringing him dinner to share with Saeran. It makes sense why he would be wary of MC being around Saeran or Saeran being around MC just on the off chance that it would be traumatic, I get his reasoning there and I'm sure many Saeyoung MCs don't blame him for that.

But, MC needed the ability to do something. That is probably one of my only pieces of blunt criticism when it comes to that. Saeyoung is someone who just promised to be honest, open, and clear with you about his feelings and identity. I'm not saying he shouldn't regress or struggle, because God knows he would fall into old habits, but where in the hell is the scene where Saeyoung has a goddamn meltdown in MC's arms because he is so tired of being strong?!

Something! Anything!

For the love of God, allow Saeyoung the opportunity to heal from his trauma in a healthy way, and grant him the chance to be vulnerable with the person he loves more than anything because that's what the Saeyoung MCs want! Saeyoung, you've been fighting long enough. I think it's time to rest. You don't need to be the only one who carries a burden on his back. Let's carry this fear, together.

#it's what i want too #mystic messenger #mysme #mm #mod kait #mysticmessenger #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #luciel choi #choi luciel #707 #seven #character analysis #I love my brother-in-law. I really do. I want him to be happy.#Saeran wouldn't want him to live this way.#ask #lusree

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little-lego-ninjas · 1 year ago

Text

lightning in a bottle (burning full throttle)

Guess what I just posted on AO3 guys???? Are you excited, because I am! I'm actually really proud of this monster (it's 12.6k words h e l p), and I hope you guys like reading it as much as I liked writing it!

Fair warning, this is filled to the brim with queerness (as a queer myself, I could not resist the fruit ninja), so read with caution ig lmao.

Gun tw, and some minor injuries (somebody gets shot, but it's minor), slurs (not actually written bc i am too soft for it but wanted to include it bc i have had bad race-related encounters lately, and i protect my friends from toxic people as much as possible), ptsd, anxiety, anxiey/panic attack, gender issues, y'know the works.

There's probably a few more i can't think of rn, but all the tags are on AO3 if you feel the need to check! Nothing super insane happens (no weird age stuff or sex), so enjoy!!

AO3 link in case you wanna read it over there or leave a big comment or something i dunno. For you <3.

Fic below the cut bc it's too damn long.

"Okay, have we all got our roles down?" Lloyd asked at the head of the dining room table, papers and maps and blueprints scattered around him. His hair was a mess, blond waves tangled together and falling into his face. No doubt from staying up all night, finalizing and piecing everything together.

Cole nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. "I've got mine."

"I do as well," Zane added, his fingers threaded together atop the table.

Kai sighed before anyone else could say they had everything ready. "Why do I have to go in disguise? Shouldn't we let Zane do it?"

Pixal answered before Lloyd could open his mouth, her green eyes hard. "Kai, we have already discussed why you and Jay are going in disguise. Zane's cloaking software is down, mine is nowhere near the level his is, and Cole is going in disguise too."

She arched a brow at him. "I don't see the issue."

Kai gestured around the table, chest tight. "I'm going to be in a party while Nya, Lloyd, and you," he shot a blatant look at Pixal, "try to stop an assassin."

"Sorry for worrying like a good brother would," he grumbled as an afterthought.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, making him glance over to see who it was. Nya looked mildly annoyed, but mostly sympathetic, which was a good sign. "Kai, you know you aren't just going to a party."

"I know, I just-"

"Get worried." Jay finished, his chin resting in his hands. "We know. But this is serious stuff, me and you are going to protect Cyrus Borg."

When his name was uttered, Pixal looked down at her hands. Zane reached across the table, taking one of her hands. "We will not let anything happen to him, Pixal."

Pixal looked up, nodding. She didn't say anything though. Kai could understand her concerns, considering it was her father that they were attempting to save from an untimely death. Kai couldn’t imagine having to be in her position, and it only gave him more empathy towards her for being so strong about the entire subject. It couldn’t have been an easy thing to listen to, or talk about.

Cole nudged Zane’s shoulder, his expression a mixture of his usual soft one and a slightly more serious one reminiscent of his younger days of leading the team. “Besides, we have more help too. Skylor and some of the other elemental masters, right Lloyd?”

Lloyd nodded, digging through the scattered papers until he could find the one he had written all their names on. “Most of them helped with the resistance, so we’re in good hands. That assassin won’t know what hit them, Pix.”

Pixal pursed her lips, then stood. “Fantastic. I’ll go ensure my weaponry is ready and functional.”

Nya’s gaze followed the girl who had taken up her old mantle, the blue in her eyes holding a depth Kai had begun to notice whenever his little sister looked at Pixal. Nya sighed, pushing her chair away from the table. “I feel so bad for her.”

Zane nodded, his fingers threaded together again, something the nindroid had begun to do after his time in the NeverRealm. “I do as well, but we mustn’t let our worries consume the mission. We cannot fail.”

Cole rubbed Zane’s shoulder. “We won’t, Z. We won’t.”

Zane didn’t look convinced, but he did shoot Cole a smile that the other boy returned. Kai watched them all silently, his chest still tight with the idea of letting them risk their lives while he stayed inside at a party. It felt wrong and like he was slacking off, even though he knew he had an important role to play. A hand ruffled at his hair, snagging his attention. He shot a glare at Jay, who had an impish little smirk on his lips.

“Don’t you ruin this for me, Kai. It’s the anniversary of Borg’s empire!” Jay sighed with delight, earning several eye-rolls that he ignored. “What a legend.”

Kai scoffed, standing up. “Remember that we’re there to protect Cyrus, not party.”

Jay waved his hand. “Duh. Just think it’s neat.”

Lloyd hummed, shifting through his papers again. “Since it’s a pretty exclusive party, I think you two should really dress the part. High-class and stuff.”

Kai grinned. “I have just the suit.”

///

Kai tugged at his tie in mild annoyance, shooting a glare at his reflection. He didn't like the idea of just sitting on the sidelines while everyone else ran around playing hero. It didn't sit right with him to not be in the heat of the matter, but rather going incognito to better blend in.

Granted, Zane was pretending to be the intern who double-checked invitations, and Cole was one of the guards at the entrance, but still. If the news from Skylor handed down to her through the pipeline of elemental masters was true, which it was, Cyrus Borg was set to be a prime target to be assassinated tonight during his company's anniversary party.

Kai wanted to be the guy beating up the assassin, not hiding in a crowd of rich tech-heads, but he had to begrudgingly agree with Lloyd's plan. It was the best course of action, the best set-up to ensure Cyrus Borg and everyone attending the party would be safe. He just hated the idea of his family risking their lives without him beside them.

Heaving a sigh, Kai glanced at his reflection again, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves. He had to admit, he looked nice. The suit was a bit darker than he would have chosen for himself, but it wasn't too terrible. It was fitted just enough to benefit his shape, but not overly so. His hair was what was bothering him the most, if he was being honest.

Instead of its usual spiked style, his hair looked much like it did when he was wet, falling into his eyes enough to bother him. Kai scrubbed his fingers through his hair again, grumbling under his breath as he did so. Maybe Nya was right when she said he needed a haircut.

"Kai."

Kai met his sister's eyes in the mirror. She was in her gi, only serving to remind Kai of the danger she was about to put herself in. "Yeah?"

Nya's lips twitched, as if she was fighting off a smile. "Have you been brooding this whole time?"

Kai opened his mouth, then clicked his tongue. " No ."

His sister stepped closer to him, turning him away from the mirror. "I know what you're stewing over, okay? But I think you need to see your boyfriend."

Kai knit his brows together. "Is Jay not helping me survey the party in disguise?"

"No," Nya said with a shake of her head. "He's still helping you, but I meant see like look at him because, uh."

Her cheeks pinkened. "He looks great."

Kai snorted, elbowing Nya. "You are such a bi disaster."

"Wha- says the pan disaster!" Nya sputtered as Kai left his bedroom, heading for Jay's.

He chuckled under his breath at the sound of Nya's grumbles, stopping before Jay's door. Knocking, Kai opened his mouth to ask if he could enter, but Jay interrupted him.

"Come in!"

Kai pushed the door open, a smile on his face and words on his tongue, only for his mouth to go dry at the sight of Jay in front of his bedroom mirror. Now, Kai had no doubts in his mind that Jay was attractive- and super fucking adorable -but he'd always seen Jay as pretty, or cute.

Drop-dead gorgeous was not a term he used lightly, and in this case, he meant it as if it was a precious sacred statement by the First Spinjitzu Master himself, which was to say, he was not anywhere close to joking about it. Jay cleaned up nice, and Kai had never really gotten to see it before.

Now though, Jay was fiddling with a silver hoop earring as Kai openly gaped at him, eyes drinking in every inch of his boyfriend. When Lloyd had suggested that Kai and Jay go together as a rich couple, Kai hadn't disputed the rich couple part, but he had figured it would be him and Jay in suits and showing up holding hands or something.

He had not expected to find Jay in a dress.

Not just any dress, no. Jay had found the most beautiful shade of midnight blue to ever exist, the color making his eyes that much more electric and enticing. The dress itself was fitted all the way down to the hemline, going to the top of Jay's toes. It had a sheath neckline, the material lying around Jay like a necklace, forming an upside down v that covered his chest entirely, but left part of his collarbones free.

Where sleeves would be, fingerless gloves of the same material encased his wrist up, stopping at the middle of Jay's biceps, freckled shoulders on full display. Jay smiled at his reflection, fingers playing with his silver hoop earrings before he noticed Kai had stepped inside of his bedroom. Jay's cheeks colored. "O-oh. I thought you were Nya."

Jay turned to face Kai, and Kai got a wonderful view of the thigh-high leg slit the dress had. If his mouth had been dry before, it was dust now. Just the sight was doing something to him, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Is it too much?" Jay asked, fingers playing with each other. "I figured fancy party meant fancy, and this is the fanciest thing I've really got so…"

Kai found his voice when Jay trailed off, looking so defeated that Kai wanted to punch whatever had made him feel that way. Since he was pretty sure he had done that, Kai decided that punching himself before going undercover was a really stupid idea. He didn't want to sport a black eye and draw attention to himself.

"No!" He exclaimed, grabbing Jay's hands, noticing blue nail polish on his nails, matching his dress. "No, you look… wow."

Jay's blush worsened, his smile a little embarrassed. "I thought you'd think my hair was stupid."

Kai knit his brows, studying the usually messy curls that were in some semblance of order. And they were longer than Kai recalled them being just three hours ago. Curious, he shifted his fingers through the chestnut hair, amazed that the curls stretched down to the base of Jay's neck before springing back up to rest lightly under his earlobes.

"It's beautiful."

Kai cleared his throat when he saw how soft Jay's gaze had turned. "Uh, I mean, not as good as mine, you know. Still good though."

Jay's smile shifted into a smirk. "Uh-huh."

Not wanting to give Jay more ammo than he already had, Kai gestured at Jay's dress. "So, any particular reason for that? Asides to be sexy, I mean."

Jay flushed terribly at that, swatting at Kai's shoulder. "I figured a guy and a girl would be less attention-grabbing than two guys for us going undercover."

Kai must have made a sour expression because Jay shook his head. "No, I made the choice, I'm fine."

Kai pursed his lips. "I know you, Jay. If you look the tiniest bit uncomfortable, we're finding you the manliest suit ever to bash any dysphoria, got it?"

Jay laughed at that, drawing Kai's attention to his face, the way his freckles bunched up whenever he laughed, along with the delicate black lines surrounding his boyfriend's eyes. Jay had actually gone and put makeup on, which Kai hadn't seen in a very long time. Heat pooled into Kai's body, his lips itching to meet Jay's. "I- I'm serious. No dysphoria will ruin your night on my watch."

Jay nodded, a small smile on his lips. "Thanks, but I'll let you know if it gets to be too much, okay?"

Kai sighed, but relented at the lightning ninja's pointed gaze. "Alright, fine. But seriously, if you get misgendered, I might hit someone out of reflex alone."

Jay snorted, moving around Kai to get to his bed. Kai watched him, unsure of what else to say. Another compliment? Jay tugged a pair of strappy black heels out of a box from under his bed. "Restrain yourself, babe."

Kai stiffened at the word, every nerve alight with want. In the end, he was a weak man, a man who just wanted Jay to feel comfortable in his skin, to kiss on Jay and touch him reverently, and breathe promises of love against freckled skin. Kai crossed the room to Jay easily, the lightning ninja still busy putting on his heels.

(Which were also unfairly attractive on Jay, but Kai would circle back to that later.)

Jay glanced up when Kai tapped his bare shoulder, his expression playful. "Hm?"

Kai scowled at Jay, nudging his boyfriend backwards until he could pin him against the mattress. "You know what you're doing."

Jay laughed softly, twining his arms around Kai's neck, fingers playing with his hair. "You look hot too, by the way."

Kai winked, "You know it."

Jay rolled his eyes and Kai locked their lips together, not entirely aware of the world around him anymore. Jay was more important than the world, clearly and obviously. He pulled back only to dive right back in, tongue running along the ever-soft lips of his lover, Jay making a delicate sound underneath him. Kai felt a heel nudge his hip, hands tightening in his hair.

The kiss deepened, Kai's tongue tracing the inside of Jay's mouth, small shocks crossing from Jay to Kai, barely there moments of electricity that made Kai shudder and kiss Jay harder, eager for a bigger reaction. Before he could cross that line, Jay pushed him up and away from his lips a little, blue eyes meeting amber.

"Kai," Jay whispered, lips so pink and plump and Kai really didn't want to stop. "The mission?"

Kai pursed his lips, then kissed Jay again, a soft peck instead of the passionate one he wanted to continue. "After, if we aren't exhausted, I'll pick up where we left off."

Jay nodded, cheeks flushed but his eyes bright with excitement at the promise. "Sounds like a plan."

Kai crawled off of Jay, halting halfway off at the sight of Jay's leg being mostly uncovered from the slit in the dress. Teasingly, Kai drug his fingertips against the soft skin as he finished crawling off of Jay, hearing his boyfriend gasp prettily. Kai adjusted his suit jacket, then ran his fingers through his hair again.

He shot Jay a puzzled glance that was mostly fake. "Are you coming?"

Jay looked breathless, cheeks even darker than before. "You- You fucker."

Kai, unable to help himself, shot Jay a wink as he made his way out of the room. "I do try."

Kai got smacked upside the head with Mr. Cuddlywomp, but hey, it was worth it in his eyes. He needed something good to keep his mind away from the dark thoughts of potential failure tonight.

///

Kai had to gape at the light show that was occurring at Borg’s tower, the building glowing in prismatic colors and holographic words that screamed the reason for the party. He had to admit it was pretty, but with Jay on his arm, it wasn’t comparable in the slightest. Shooting a glance at his boyfriend, he found Jay’s electric blue eyes alight with wonder, his lips shaping words that Kai could barely hear.

“What was that last bit?” He asked, grinning when Jay flushed.

“O-oh.” Jay twirled one of his curls around his finger, nervous. “Just… it’s pretty.”

Kai nodded, nodding towards the line of equally lavishly dressed individuals, pointing Jay in the right direction. His boyfriend was a little overwhelmed by the lights and the people, and Kai was one-hundred percent okay with being the grounding point for him. Quietly, Kai ducked his head to whisper against Jay’s ear as they got into the line. “If you feel bad, let me know.”

Jay nodded, his eyes darting from one head to another, analyzing and categorizing them the way he did. Kai hadn’t understood it at one point in his life, thinking Jay was just easily distracted (which was true), but now he knew it was how Jay dealt with getting overwhelmed. He counted how many other people he might have to interact with, how many blinding lights would flash, how they spoke or reacted so he could match them.

It was how he coped, and Kai could see why. He had done it a couple of times, only to find it very helpful. Granted, he sucked at mimicking other people, but he did try his best if his unhoned skills would be useful. Sometimes he looked back to the time he pretended to be his father and cringed. How Nya had perfectly emulated their mother’s voice was lost on him, but it was impressive all the same.

Turning his attention back to the line, Kai found two security guards only a few people ahead of them. One was a nindroid, the other was Cole. Cyrus Borg was only loosely aware of the threat looming over him when Lloyd had contacted him prior to the party about the lead they had, but he hadn’t disagreed with anything the ninja had suggested they do. As long as they didn’t destroy his tower or harm his guests, the scientist was okay with them playing dress-up.

Kai understood why Lloyd had ultimately decided against telling Borg the entire reason they were attending his anniversary party incognito. If Cyrus Borg knew about the threat, he would cancel the party and force the assassin to try another time, which would leave Borg paranoid and the ninja in the dark about when the assassin would try again. That didn't mean Kai liked withholding information though.

When Jay tapped at Kai’s arm, he felt a brief second of worry, only to find a small smile on Jay’s lips. The lightning ninja was holding back a giggle. “Kai, look behind us.”

Curious, Kai did as he was instructed, almost laughing himself. Directly behind them stood Dareth, dressed surprisingly nicely with an invitation in his hand, holding a conversation with a rather wealthy-looking elderly couple that looked entertained by him. Kai snickered under his breath, setting off Jay’s giggles. “How on earth did he get an invite?”

Jay shrugged. “I think he won the civilian raffle for invitations? He’s like Borg's biggest fan.”

Kai arched his brow. “But baby, I thought that was you?”

Jay’s blushing cheeks were a perfect reward, and he didn’t get a chance to retaliate before they reached security. Kai showed both Cole and the nindroid their invitations, then pocketed them again. The nindroid studied them, then shared a glance with Cole, who shrugged.

“Hate to be that guy,” Cole started, pushing off of the door jam he had been leaning against, “but I need to check for concealed weapons.”

Kai made a big show of sighing loudly, unlinking his arm from Jay’s. “Oh, if you must.”

Jay opened his purse, revealing a rather nice wallet and some miscellaneous items. “Nothing but my emergency make-up.”

Kai almost jerked his head around at the sound of Jay’s voice, so light and airy. Cole looked momentarily stunned too, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Er, yeah. You’re good.”

The nindroid nodded, gesturing to the open doors. “Please enjoy your evening.”

Kai shot him a grin, sliding his arm around Jay’s waist. “I’m sure we will.”

The entryway had been filled with streamers and balloons, all sorts of people wandering around and laughing together before they headed for the elevators. Before he and Jay could get that far though, their invitations would be checked for authenticity by the intern at the front desk, who happened to be Zane in disguise. It wasn’t as effective as his cloaking device, but he still looked every bit the part of the nerdy guy who ran the desk.

Zane had even modulated his voice to better fit the role, slightly nervous at being handed so much power and responsibility by someone so high above him. “May I see your invitations?”

Kai handed the papers over, feigning indifference while Jay looked around with wide blue eyes. Zane nodded after a moment, “You’re on the list, thank you for attending!”

Jay smiled sweetly and Kai nodded, both of them making for the elevators. The party was held at the top floor, normally Borg’s office but remodeled for a skyline view and filled with hors d'oeuvres and champagne for the occasion. Kai couldn't quite understand how the assassin could get a shot with all those windows, but he wouldn't underestimate the possibility.

He hoped everything was going well on the other end of the mission, and that Lloyd, Nya, and Pixal had managed to get into position with no issues. He wouldn’t be able to check his comm until later, after he could make for the bathroom without drawing suspicion.

When the elevator doors closed, Kai slumped slightly. “Who knew I would already be tired?”

Jay shrugged, a tube of mascara in hand, squinting at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror. “Pretending is hard.”

There was a depth inside those words that Kai wanted to understand, but he decided to broach the topic later. Instead, he watched as Jay messed with his eyelashes, even though they were fine. “Jay?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t be nervous.”

Jay laughed, capping the tube and dropping it back inside of his purse. “That’s difficult for me.”

Kai nodded, taking one of Jay’s hands, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I know.”

Jay rolled his eyes, watching as they climbed floors. “Ready to do some more pretending, hot stuff?”

Kai laughed, pulling Jay flush against him for a split-second, relishing in the closeness before he shifted their positions again, arm around Jay's waistline. “Always.”

Jay was flushed when the doors opened, shooting Kai a dirty look that made him grin. His grin faltered when he caught sight of Cyrus Borg, falling back into mission mode with ease. The inventor was holding a glass of champagne in one hand, laughing with a group of people Kai had seen around the building, no doubt some of his employees.

Kai and Jay stepped out of the elevator, and Kai skimmed the room, mentally labeling anything that could be useful. He faltered at the crowd though. There were so many people all dressed so nicely that it left Kai reeling, so many sparkling bits of jewelry and finery that was foreign to him.

If he felt broke, he had no idea how much worse Jay felt. Kai knew how the lightning ninja got sometimes, wishing he had enough money to give his parents everything they deserved to have. Kai felt the same way sometimes, but he knew it lurked in the back of Jay's head more than his own. After so much time, Jay still felt as if he had something to prove, to show he wasn't just some kid from a junkyard.

Why? Kai wasn't entirely sure. Kai tightened his hold around Jay's waist, getting his boyfriend to look up at him, inquisitive eyes meeting his own.

“Split up?" He suggested, watching Jay closely for any sign of distress.

Jay nodded, nudging Kai towards the table with hors d'oeuvres and flutes of champagne. “Go be a gentleman and get me a drink.”

Kai bowed playfully, taking Jay’s hand and pressing a kiss to his ring finger. “Of course, darling.”

Jay laughed softly, shoving Kai away. Kai watched him for a second, then made for the table, scanning the faces around him. Any one of them could be the person after Borg, even if they would have had hell getting past both Cole and Zane. He couldn’t let his guard down, not even for getting in-character. To passerby, he would simply look a little nervous, something many people around him would relate to.

The table held more than just drinks and hors d'oeuvres upon closer inspection. It also held all sorts of pastries that made Kai's mouth water. It took more restraint than he had hoped it would to prevent himself from sampling them all. Maybe it had been for the best that Cole wasn't at the party, considering his rather glaring weakness for desserts.

Kai snagged two flutes of champagne, then glanced out at the sea of posh strangers, his heart beginning to thud against his ribs. What happened to his charisma? He could handle this. It wasn't hard, putting on a fake front, he had done it multiple times over the years. Somehow though, the idea of faking for multi-millionaires felt… dangerous.

It hadn't stopped Jay from immediately becoming popular though, several ladies dressed in their own stunning finery had surrounded him, complimenting his dress and asking him questions that he answered easily. Kai pursed his lips, glancing back at the table before he snagged one of the pastries, shifting the glasses to one hand as he placed it on a napkin to take over to Jay.

Jay tended to do better if he felt secure and had someone he cared for close by. Kai knew the pastry would be an added bonus, considering Jay's love of desserts. The champagne was a pretense, something that might be sipped once or twice, but ultimately ignored. Kai scanned the crowd again, plotting out the exact path he would need to make it to Jay.

"Huh, didn't think you'd be here."

Kai flinched at the words, nearly spilling champagne on the floor. His gaze landed on an all-too familiar face, one that made him a little happy, a little angry, and mostly confused.

"Ronin?"

///

Cole tried to maintain his focus as he watched Jay and Kai vanish inside of the building, but it was hard. He had no clue what to expect, and honestly the evening had been borderline boring. It would have been completely boring if the adrenaline from the idea of an assassin trying to kill Borg wasn't at the forefront of his mind, but still. He was growing impatient just standing in place.

He almost choked when he saw who was next in line, Dareth grinning at him before his brows dipped together. Cole watched as the nindroid examined Dareth's invitation, assigning a name with a face, but the brown ninja's gaze remained locked on Cole the entire time. Cole couldn't help but think of the last time he had seen Dareth in disguise, how easily the older man had seen through it.

This time, it seemed, was no different. Dareth snapped his fingers and pointed at him. "Cole! I knew that was you!"

Cole pressed his lips together tightly. "Hey Dareth."

"When'd you get a side gig?"

Cole shrugged, gesturing for Dareth to come closer so he could check for weapons, which he heavily doubted he would find, but protocol was protocol. After ensuring the man was weaponless, he gestured through the open doors to the desk where Zane was stationed. "Have fun Dareth, you're cleared."

Dareth grinned at him, happily crossing the threshold. "Thanks dude!"

Cole shook his head with a small smile. Sometimes Dareth was just the thing that helped them ensure everything went according to plan. Maybe this was one of those times. After all, Dareth was the man who had done everything in his power to help them anyway he possibly could, no matter the risks he faced because of it.

"A hem."

Cole snapped his attention back to the world around him, rather than the one inside of his head. He found an elderly couple sharing aggravated looks between one another, and his nindroid companion looking exasperated.

"Sir, it's only protocol," the nindroid started, only to be cut off by the man, who flicked his hand at both the nindroid and Cole.

"Nonsense is what it is! An over-analytical farce that is as unnecessary as it is uncouth."

The woman by his side nodded, her expression pinched. "We never carry weapons." She said the word as if she could think of nothing fouler in the world, which made Cole bite back a sigh.

While he agreed weapons were a last result form of attack, that didn't mean they were inherently bad. It was a tool, depending on who used the knife made the knife either good or bad. That didn't make the knife inherently evil if it was used to harm someone, but some people just couldn't see it the way he did.

Different opinions were important, but not over something that was simple protocol. Now, if the protocol had the couple stripping down to their underthings? That Cole could see as bad. This was more of a minor annoyance, rather than something truly terrible.

"Sir, ma'am, this is simply to ensure not only Mr. Borg's safety," Cole looked pointedly at both of them, "but also yours."

The man looked downright insulted, tugging at the cuffs of his sleeves. "You have no right to speak to me."

Cole knit his brows, entirely lost for almost three seconds. It hit him when the man's wife moved to hide behind him slightly. A stab of guilt jabbed its way into his chest, even though he shouldn't have felt it at all. It wasn't his fault his skin was darker than theirs, or that he was taller than them, or stronger and more muscular.

It hurt though, to be looked at and only seen as a threat rather than a person too. Even the nindroid looked stunned, but the man continued. "Not only are you going to place your hands upon me and my wife, but you are asking for us to let you do that. My answer is no ."

"Would you change your mind if he was white?"

Cole snapped his gaze back, finding Dareth in the doorway, looking more furious than Cole had ever seen him. The commotion and hold up had snagged a lot of attention, the people in line whispering to each other and shooting glances at Cole. It made him nauseous to have so much attention on him, and not for the first time, he wished he was smaller.

The man looked stunned. "I- what are you implying?"

Dareth stepped forward, moving to stand between Cole and the wealthy man. "If I were the guard, would you listen?"

The man shrugged. "I do not rightly know, since you aren't. I do not feel safe with-"

"Do not say that ." Dareth hissed. "Don't you dare."

Before the man or his wife could speak again, the nindroid stepped forward, his hands raised placatingly. "If you will not allow us to check for hidden weapons, then we must decline your entrance to the building. Deeply sorry."

The man huffed, snatching his wife's arm. "I am as well, for having to deal with that -"

Cole's ears were ringing after the word was uttered, one he hadn't heard in a very long time. It reminded him of the first time he had learned what it meant when he was little, how his mother had clutched him close and whispered that it was just a word while his father raged at the parents of the little girl who had said it. While he didn't remember her name, he remembered her smug face when she had said it.

Almost like she had a right to call him that, to tear him down because he looked different than she did.

The world slammed back into focus when he felt a hand on his arm, the touch that normally would be grounding painful. There were so many voices, all saying different things, and his vision was a blur at best. Cole closed his eyes tightly, trying to breathe, but it felt like he was seven again, trembling when the teacher snapped at him for missing the "very easy steps", the words he muttered unkind and as horrible as what the little girl had said.

It was part of the reason he ran away.

The world around him was falling in and out of focus every time he opened his eyes, so just kept them shut, trying to control his breathing. Everything began to shift though, the loud voices falling away and the touch that had felt like fire now a more bearable presence, one he accepted readily now. He knew he was moving, the hand on his arm a guiding light, but he still didn't open his eyes.

He was almost afraid too, after what had happened the last time he had opened them. He had to get his head back in the game, back into the role he was playing for the mission, but if he opened his eyes and could only see the past, how could he help in the present?

///

Perched on the edge of the roof, Lloyd surveyed the city below and around him, the lights always brighter than needed. They never bothered him too badly though, so he didn't mind them. Better lighting made it easier to track down the villains than poor lighting did anyway. Unable to find anything out of the usual, Lloyd lowered his binoculars with a sigh.

Minus Cyrus Borg's anniversary party happening across from the skyscraper he was perched on, the city was in a normal state of function. Families were eating dinner, shifts were being switched, the neon lights alive with the night and the city they lit up. There was no sign of an assassin who wanted Pixal's father dead for reasons no one had managed to crack.

Lloyd shook his head, turning his gaze down to his sleeve, which he pushed up and out of the way. Tapping twice at the bracelet on his wrist, he watched the holographic main menu pull up, which he swiped through until he found contacts and communications. He double-checked that his settings were correct and ready to go, then he patched himself into the comm network he, Pixal, Neuro, and Nya had thrown together.

"Anyone hear me?"

Several voices answered, little blips showing their positions on his digital map. Lloyd felt a little of his tension ease at the sight, everyone was in position and ready to go. "Give me sights, what've we got on our hands guys?"

Nya's voice crackled to life, her words sure and holding the annoyance that came with her impatience. "Nothing but traffic, it's driving me up the wall."

Lloyd almost laughed, but refrained, recalling that he was supposed to be the leader right now, not Nya's little brother with a bad sense of humor.

"Nothing here, Lloyd," Skylor said, her words carrying an easy flow that he had grown accustomed to hearing.

"Nothin' here either, kiddo." Turner added quickly, not wanting to be the last to speak. The man was rather competitive when it came down to it.

"Karloff has nothing- ah!" Static flooded the line for a second, and Lloyd's feet were already in motion when Karlof said, "False alarm, sorry friends."

Lloyd skidded to a stop before he leapt off of the skyscraper he was perched atop, sighing. "Thanks Karloff. Anyone got anything?"

"Hate to break it to you," Tox said, "but I think your lead sucks."

Lloyd pursed his lips, unsure how to respond. He was almost thankful when Neuro's voice drowned out everyone else's. "I am afraid that the target may know we are onto them," Neuro's voice warned, his tone grave and serious. "I can't read too terribly far out, but everyone within twenty-clicks of my position isn't a threat."

Neuro was just outside of reading Lloyd and probably Pixal, who was driving her car down back alleys and checking for any trace of a threat. She was anxious and doing her best to hide it, and Lloyd could understand the feeling entirely. Hell, he felt anxious just thinking about his own father. With a shake of his head, he detached from that thought. The last thing he needed was to be distracted.

Lloyd sighed again, glaring at Borg's tower across from him, the large windows betraying the exact floor where the party was being held. He could almost make out the faces and people inside of the room without his binoculars, and his chest tightened with anxiety. If the assassin succeeded in killing just one person, they would fail. Lloyd refused to let that happen.

It didn't help that no one had checked in from the tower, not even Zane, who had promised to check in every half hour. It had been almost an hour since the last check in. Surely the last of the guests should have been inside of the party, freeing Zane to help them scout around the outside of the tower along with Cole. It was part of their plan, and Lloyd couldn't act on it if Zane wasn't responding.

They were running out of time, and Lloyd couldn't wait around for Zane and Cole, or Jay and Kai. They were busy with something else, no doubt important. Or their comms had been shut off, or glitching. Maybe they didn't work with Cyrus Borg's fancy Internet servers or something. The point was, Lloyd needed a new strategy, and he needed one pretty fast.

"Pix, get Neuro in your ride." He flicked through his holographic map, finding Pixal and Neuro relatively close to one another. "Help him survey the city for our hitman."

"Affirmative, moving now."

"Understood."

"Lloyd?" Nya asked, and Lloyd could almost see her expression. "What are you thinking, talk to us."

Lloyd opened his mouth, only to freeze. Something had moved behind him, and it wasn't the wind. He made no sudden moves, hoping to keep the other being on the roof thinking he had no clue of the other's presence. He slowly reached for the hilt of his sword, flinching into action when he heard something behind him go click ka-chunk.

"Lloyd?"

"What's goin' on, kid?"

"Lloyd, what was that noise!?"

Lloyd turned just in time to make out a dark-clothed figure with a rifle in hand, followed by a bang that made him instinctively reach for his ears and duck. That was not the right choice when one is holding a sword or being shot at apparently, because something made his world rock, pain shooting from somewhere and making everything blur for a second.

Lloyd forced a breath through his gritted teeth, blearily finding the person across from him reloading, a gruff voice shooting curses rather than bullets. At least he hadn't gotten Cryus Borg. Lloyd glimpsed at himself, finding blood on his upper arm. He could handle a flesh wound. Switching sword hands, Lloyd shouted, "Found him!"

///

Kai was still reeling at the sight of the thief, but he managed to find enough of his words to actually speak. "How did you even get invited?"

Ronin shrugged languidly, nabbing one of the pastries off of the table. "'Invited' is a strong word. Let's go with 'got let in'."

Kai opened his mouth, but Ronin continued on. "Helps if you know your forgeries and the guard at the front entrance, along with the intern at the front desk."

Kai knit his brows. "Why'd Zane let you in if your invite was fake?"

"Because I have some info that might keep Borg alive tonight."

Kai shifted the glasses in his hand slightly, boring his eyes into Ronin's form. "I feel like I should ask you to dump your pockets, but if you actually have something helpful, I'd love to hear it."

Ronin swallowed his bite of pastry, nodding. "There's more than one guy gunnin' to put a bullet in Borg's head. It's a group, as far as I know."

Kai stiffened, the situation far worse than it was moments prior. If there was more than one, that changed the entire mission. "Does Zane know?"

The second the words left his lips he knew Ronin already had told Zane, or else he wouldn't have been let up to the top floor. If Zane knew, that would mean the nindroid could alert Lloyd to the growing danger. "Nevermind, if you're up here he knows."

Ronin studied him for a second, making Kai's hackles raise slightly. The older man nodded towards the crowd. "Who's the dame headin' for you?"

Kai shot him a puzzled glance and Ronin sipped at his own glass of champagne. "Just askin', not trying to steal her from you."

When an arm slipped into his own, Kai knew exactly who Ronin had meant. His boyfriend's cheeks were flushed, and there was a smile on his face, but Kai could feel how tense Jay was against him. Jay offered Ronin a darling smile, then Jay's facade of a rich girlfriend disappeared when his blue eyes found Ronin's, his expression slipping into shock. " Ronin?"

Ronin's eyes widened, then he looked between Kai and Jay for a second. "I- Jay? That you?"

Jay nodded, curls bouncing. "Yeah."

"Damn."

Jay snorted, then beamed at the sight of the pastry Kai was still holding. He took it, along with one of the flutes of champagne Kai had in his other hand. "Thanks, also how the hell did you get in?"

Kai answered before Ronin could. "He had info, Zane let him in, there's more than one."

Jay froze, pastry halfway in his mouth. After a second of debate, Jay bit off the bite, his brows knitted together as he mulled the situation over. He swallowed, tilting his head. "How do you know that, Ronin?"

Ronin sighed. "I'm not in on it, before you even ask because I can tell where this is going. I don't do murder."

Kai was acutely aware of the eyes and ears around them, so he chuckled as if Ronin had made a joke, then dropped his voice to a murmur. "Talk later."

Ronin shot him a wink. "You got it."

Jay nodded, smiling politely at Ronin as Kai led them away from the table. Kai opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted before he could even make a sound.

"Oh! Albie, bring your partner over here!"

Jay's head swiveled around, making Kai follow suit, finding a group of well-dressed twenty-something-year olds. The group looked like a few couples who were all friends, beckoning Jay over. Kai let Jay take charge, ducking his head to whisper, "Albie?"

Jay smiled awkwardly. "Fake name," he murmured, but something in his tone indicated it was more than that.

Kai wasn't entirely sure what was said after that, or who was speaking to him. All he could hear was the little wobble in Jay's voice when he had said it. The way he was acting as if nothing was out of place, as if he wasn't a boy pretending to be a girl, falling back into his repertoire of jokes and fronts to hide any of his true feelings from the world.

Kai could feel his temper flaring, but he wasn't upset with Jay. Downing the last of his champagne, he ducked his head to whisper against Jay's ear. "I'll be back in a minute."

Jay smiled at him, and then shoved him off. "Oh, get lost already, you'll be back in like two minutes!"

Kai laughed, but his heart throbbed in pain at how Jay had fallen back into that airy voice, so delicate and so unlike himself that it hurt. Kai made his way to the bathroom in the corner, making sure it was empty before he locked the door. Shoving his sleeve out of the way, he tapped at his comm. "Lloyd? Nya? Anybody?"

"Hey, hot stuff," came Skylor's slightly labored voice. There were shouts in the background, making her voice difficult to hear through the din of battle. "How's the party going?"

"Guess you know about how there's more than one guy now, huh?"

A shriek, followed by Skylor's muffled laughing. "Oh, you bet ."

Kai chewed his lip, then glanced around the bathroom. "Do you need backup?"

"Zane and Cole should be here in a minute, I think you and Jay need to focus on Cyrus Borg. We have no idea how many-"

" Sky !"

A shink of metal, ending with Skylor calling out a thanks. Kai closed his eyes for a second. "Please be safe."

"I'll try."

Kai closed the line, mind whirring with options. It was then he realized that the comm hadn't exactly been quiet. Someone surely would have gone to check if anyone was being murdered. Kai unlocked the door, eyes going wide when he registered the shrieks and shouts of alarm. Kai dashed out of the bathroom, finding the window shattered and people with guns moving through the partygoers, a flash of green darting after them.

The sight alone was alarming, but finding no sight of Cyrus Borg anywhere might have been more so. Kai slammed his fingers against his comm, tapping furiously until he managed to hit the right numbers on the digital keypad. “Ninjago City Police Department, what’s your-”

“Borg’s tower, top floor, armed and dangerous individuals attacking, send help!” Kai didn’t wait around to hear the response, diving head-first into the fire of battle, heart thundering inside of his chest. He hoped Jay was okay.

///

Zane turned to Cole, who had been sitting in the office chair that had been Zane's to begin with, but was offered when Cole had started to fall apart. After admitting the last guest, Zane knew it was crucial to proceed with the next phase of the plan, but he couldn't just ignore what had happened with Cole.

It was difficult to have such a righteous sense of morals, torn between saving Cyrus Borg and saving Cole, both from vastly different things, but both important in their own ways. Zane shot a worried glance at Dareth, who had stayed beside Cole the entire time, helping the earth ninja remain calm while Zane all but speed ran the last invitation background checks.

He still ensured they were done correctly, but still. He had moved fast. Dareth smiled at Zane, nodding towards Cole as he stood up. "I think I'm going to head upstairs, hope you guys work everything out."

Cole mumbled something, no doubt a show of gratitude for what Dareth had done. Zane voiced his own gratitude, taking one of Dareth's hands. "Thank you, you did not have to do that."

"That's the thing, kid." Dareth patted Zane's hand, something in his expression sorrowful. "I really did have to."

Zane watched his friend head for the elevator, then turned his entire focus onto Cole, who hadn't looked at him yet. "Cole?"

Cole hummed, but otherwise was unchanged in his position. Zane pursed his lips, then knelt down before Cole, placing his hands on Cole’s knees, catching his attention. “Darling?”

Cole’s cheeks pinkened slightly, which Zane took as a win considering it was a reaction. “Z?”

Zane nodded, ducking his head a bit to meet Cole’s gaze. “Yes, Cole. It’s me.”

Cole pursed his lips, then shook his head slightly. “Sorry for shutting down, I-” Cole sighed, cutting himself off. “I don’t know what happened.”

Zane didn’t like that answer, so he stood up, feeling Cole’s eyes on him. “What happened was you were treated poorly, and reacted the way anyone would in that situation. It was wrong and rude, and I am happy it did not require a physical fight.”

If Dareth hadn't intervened, Zane would have, and he was pretty sure one of the outcomes involved a version of himself he had tried to bury. He couldn't help but wonder if Borg needed some very realistic ice sculptures in the future.

Cole sounded tired. “But, I just-”

“You got upset, and when you get upset you shut down.” Zane turned to look at his boyfriend again. “It is how you function. You cannot blame yourself for that.”

Cole opened his mouth, but Zane covered it with his hand. “Correction, I will not allow you to blame yourself.”

Cole’s lips moved into a smile against Zane’s hand, his eyes locked onto Zane’s. After a moment, Zane removed his hand from Cole’s lips, only to have Cole reach out and snag his hand. Cole pressed a kiss to his inner wrist, making Zane flush himself. “Thanks, Zane.”

Zane cleared his throat. “Yes, well, we should con-continue with the mission.”

Cole looked much happier, as if making Zane flustered was a mood booster. Perhaps it was. Whatever the case, Zane forced himself to refocus on the current issue at hand. He and Cole would talk more after Cyrus Borg and his guests were all declared safe. Zane was not about to let Cole just shut down the topic and never bring it up again.

It was a nasty habit his boyfriend harbored, and it broke Zane's heart watching Cole continuously shelve his agenda for the sake of others, but never take any time to deal with what he had shelved. Zane suspected it was from how he had been raised, which only served to make him feel sadder anytime he thought about it.

Zane rolled back his sleeve, unable to meet Cole's eyes as he spoke. "We should check in with Lloyd, then follow through-"

A crash shook the building, making Zane stagger into Cole, the pair of them falling against the office chair, which cried in protest at their combined weights being forced upon it. Zane shot a worried glance up at the ceiling. "What do you think that was?"

Cole copied Zane's motion, his eyes flicking upwards before they landed back on Zane. "Probably the guy who wants Borg dead."

Zane bolted to his feet, pausing for a second when he realized where he had been sitting was not the chair. Rather, it had been Cole's lap he had been resting upon. His face felt far too warm, as if his cooling units, along with his elemental power, had left him. He allowed himself a second of flustered shock, then shoved the emotions out of the way.

Zane leapt over the front desk, using spinjitzu mid-jump to change into his gi. When his feet hit the floor, he was fully geared up, Cole landing a second after him, dressed accordingly. Cole flipped open the comm channel, chaos sounding. "Uh- Nya? How's it going?"

A shout followed by a pained grunt was the response, making Cole and Zane share worried glances. While Cole tried to get a response on his end, Zane tapped directly into Pixal's comm. "Pixal? What is happening?"

"Zane! Get to the top floor now. "

Zane flinched at her tone, chest tightening with worry. He tugged Cole's arm, already moving. "Heading up, but-"

"Lloyd's got six or- or seven- they're all armed -"

Her voice slipped out of range, leaving Zane panicked. "Pixal!"

Cole's comm chose that moment to send a voice through, Nya's usually collected voice left in stressful tension. "Get Borg outta there!"

Cole broke into a sprint for the stairs, Zane right beside him. As they flew up the steps, Zane could only hope his brothers could handle the chaos before back-up arrived.

///

Jay ducked when artillery fired, tugging down the people closest to him. "Dammit," he muttered, peeking over the overturned table to try and get a read on positions, only to find a gun in his face, making him yelp. That was the wrong move, the owner of the gun lowering the muzzle, their face hidden by their ski mask. Jay watched the mask move though, and knew the thug was smiling.

Major ew.

Jay did his best to play the panicked rich person, but it was difficult when he could have the guy disarmed in seconds. Kai wouldn't hesitate the way he did, he would have already knocked the guy out and moved to the next lethal target. Kai didn't play a role when he was needed, he didn't sit and wait for the action to come to him.

But Jay wasn't like Kai, he wasn't out to the world. People saw the lightning ninja and said he was a man who could wield lightning, that he was funny and friendly. They didn't know he was trans, they didn't know he hid himself everyday or battled against his reflection continually. Jay wasn't brave enough to even think about coming out to the entire world, and if he disarmed the gunman before him, he would.

So he stayed still, heart beating against his ribs. The thug's eyes drifted to his lips, then the gun was in Jay's face again. "Get up."

Jay swallowed and did as he was told, nervous. His words were failing him, and for once, he couldn't think of anything to say. The gun was pressed under his chin, jerking his head upwards to meet the other person's eyes, which twinkled with mischief. Those eyes then drifted lower and lower, tracing Jay's shape as if he wanted to touch him. The thought made Jay light-headed.

He could almost hear the hearty laughter of pirates, the silky voice of a djinn, the constant hum of The Misfortune's Keep. Jay squeezed his eyes shut, but that just made it worse, phantom sounds shifting into memories that shouldn't exist, but they did and they scared him. Jay forced his eyes open, chest heaving as he tried to gulp down a breath, making himself count anything.

The gun went flying and Jay counted how long it flew. Four seconds. He turned his attention back to the owner of the gun, finding them unconscious on the floor, Kai standing over him. Kai turned to Jay, and Jay burst into tears, unable to stop the flow. Kai hadn't been on the ship, he hadn't been there, he was here. He was real and alive, not a timeline that never existed.

Kai's arms were around him, his voice gentle. "Oh baby, no I'm sorry I wasn't listening. I'm sorry."

Jay realized Kai was responding to his words, which had finally come back to him. He was apologizing, no doubt for being so scared and useless and-

"Jay no, you're so brave, stop."

Jay sniffled against Kai's shoulder, then shoved him back, panicked. "Wh- Cyrus Borg!?"

Kai pressed his lips together just as the stairwell door flew open, Cole and Zane dashing in. Jay suddenly realized that the threat had been neutralized while he had spiraled, Lloyd standing a bit behind Kai. When their eyes met, Lloyd waved. Jay waved back, sniffling. Zane made for Lloyd, immediately asking him questions, while Cole made for him and Kai.

Cole's arms wrapped tightly around him, and it took all of his willpower not to cry again. Cole pulled back, then yanked Kai in for a tight hug too. "You guys are okay, right?"

Kai nodded. "There's a few wounds, but nothing grievous. I got 9-1-1 punched and dialed before I went to bashing heads."

Lloyd then joined the conversation, asking what Jay had a moment ago. "Where's Cyrus Borg?"

Kai looked torn between smug and upset. "Ronin took him out while me and Jay were running survey."

Jay gaped, then snorted wetly. "Sounds like him."

Lloyd looked lost. "Ronin? Why was he here?"

Cole shook his head. "Who cares as long as he helped?"

Zane looked the tiniest bit sheepish, and Jay shot him a smile, knowing that feeling all too well. Zane had let Ronin up, and Jay wasn’t about to snitch on him. It had served to help in the end, and that was what really mattered. Instead, he straightened his dress out a bit, still feeling the phantoms of other hands against his skin, even though it wasn’t real. “Where’s everyone else?”

Nya chose that moment to fly in through the window, landing right beside Lloyd with a flip. She glanced around then took her hood down. “Uh, am I that late?”

Lloyd giggled. “A little bit, yeah, sorry.”

Nya groaned and Kai laughed. Jay found himself grinning too, relieved to be done with the chaos of the evening.

///

Lloyd had never been so done with people in his entire life, which was saying a lot because he despised big crowds all vying for his attention at the same time. This situation wasn't any different though, which only served to heighten his already overly tense mindset. He needed a minute to collapse and regroup, not be thrust into more crowds and answer more questions.

How Gayle had even shown up before the ninja had left was beyond him, but then again, Cyrus Borg's anniversary was a pretty big deal, so maybe she had already planned to cover it on the news. The other newscasters though? They had definitely only shown up because of the disaster that had struck during the party, getting witness reviews along with the police.

Lloyd had hoped to avoid the microphones and the probing questions altogether, but wearing green tended to stand out a bit too much to most people, considering the color was correlated with him now.

"Were you aware of the threat beforehand?"

"Why were these gunmen after Mr. Borg?"

"Were they all captured?"

Lloyd opened his mouth to answer one question, only to be thrown off by another. He was tempted to ask them to take turns, but he was pretty sure his voice would be drowned out by their own questions, their voices loud and demanding his attention. He couldn't give it to them, however, not when his team was tending to the finer details while he played newsfeed.

It didn't help that he couldn't answer half of the questions anyway, since he didn't know the answers. He didn't know why the men were after Borg, other than the hunch of them wanting to throw his company into chaos. He wasn't sure how many were involved to begin with, so he didn't know if they had all been captured. Sure, he was aware of the threat beforehand, but that really didn't mean much.

The questions started to blur together, the voices melding into one annoying hum that made him tempted to flee the scene entirely. But he couldn't do that, he was the green ninja, he was a beacon of hope and everything good in the world.

At least, that's what everyone said.

A gruff voice cut through the din, the police commissioner moving between Lloyd and the reporters. "Alright, you had your fun. Now please stand back ."

Gayle narrowed her eyes. "I am only trying to ensure the people are aware of any danger."

The commissioner didn't look too impressed. "We have taped off Borg's tower for security reasons. You are crossing the boundary. For your safety, stand back."

The reporters grumbled for a moment, but eventually backed up to the sidewalk. The commissioner adjusted his lapels, then turned to Lloyd. "I hope that helps."

Lloyd nodded. "It does, thanks. But I really don't have a lot of answers, and no one will until we interrogate the criminals."

"Exactly." The commissioner adjusted his hat. "News can't have news until the truth is out. I don't know why they try to rush things."

Lloyd shrugged, regretting the motion almost instantly because ow. He forgot he'd been shot at, and maybe even successfully struck with a bullet. He would have to get Zane to look at him later. Speaking of, Lloyd stood on his toes in an attempt to see over the crowd, trying to spot his team anywhere. He found Skylor's burst of red hair, which he decided would be a good start.

"Is everything under control, Commissioner?"

The old man nodded. "If you and your ninja are needed elsewhere, go ahead. We have the gunmen taken into custody, and Cyrus Borg is safe and well."

Lloyd smiled. "I'll have to thank Ronin for that."

The commissioner looked torn between respect and like he had eaten something very sour. "Yes, I should too."

Lloyd offered the commissioner a wave, then made his way through the crowd. He was slowed down by police escorting party guests out of the way, several of the guests breaking away and thanking Lloyd profusely for his efforts. Lloyd did his best to smile and keep going, but there were so many that he started to feel trapped. It felt like every single guest was out to thank him personally.

Lloyd darted his gaze around, realizing he was all but surrounded by thankful guests and disgruntled police officers. His heart was pounding so loudly he was sure they could all hear it, and he knew he must look far too pale because he felt dizzy, like he might pass out. That wouldn't be very green ninja-y. Someone would take a video and post it, and then he'd be a meme forever, a joke.

Just a kid trying to save the world, passing out from… anxiety? Stress? Claustrophobia? He had no clue, actually. Something.

"Hey, hey."

Lloyd blinked when something moved in front of him, a wall of muscle and a sleeveless gi before him.

"Let's not suffocate him, yeah?" Cole said to the crowd, shooing them back a bit.

He took Lloyd's arm (not the injured one) in his hand, leading him away from the crowd, toward the rest of the team, who were all by the police cars. Lloyd let himself breathe a sigh of relief at the sight, the elemental masters and his family all getting along well and congratulating everyone on a job well-done.

"Thanks Cole," he said softly. "I didn't mean to just stand there."

Cole stopped walking, and turned to face him. He offered Lloyd a smile. "We've had a pretty crazy night, stress'll really mess you up. I'm happy I could help."

Lloyd nodded, then kept going toward the police cars. "You all did great."

Toxikita rolled her eyes. "Of course we did, we aren't losers."

Kai snickered. "Yeah."

Zane rushed forward at the same time Nya did, both of them zeroing in on the red coloring his green gi. "What is that?" Zane asked.

"Who's blood is it?" Asked Nya, her eyes searching his face for an answer.

Kai gasped softly, then rushed forward too. Lloyd did his best to hold back a sigh, already tired of the eyes on him. "Guys, yes it's mine, I'm fine."

Cole knit his brows, concern etched onto his features. Jay wasn't any better, his big blue eyes shimmery with worry. The rest of the elemental masters didn't look much better. Pixal was by Nya's side, her green eyes laser focused on his arm, no doubt scanning him for damage or something. Unable to handle the upsetting looks any longer, Lloyd backed up a few steps.

"Let's just call it a night and go home!"

He tried for a happy tone, but it came out strained, anxious sounding. He winced at the sound, trying again. “Look, let’s just go home.”

Nya pursed her lips, looking like she was about to say something when Pixal stepped forward, pointing to the entryway of Borg’s tower. “My father is inside with Ronin, and I would like to ensure he is well before I return to the monastery.”

Lloyd nodded, waving her off. “Go for it. Message if anything goes weird.”

Pixal smiled, then glanced back at Nya for a second, then looked away. Nya sighed, then rubbed Lloyd’s uninjured arm. “I’ll stay with her.”

Kai opened his mouth, then shook his head. “Yeah, go on sis.”

Nya jogged for a second to catch up with Pixal, the pair of them sharing soft smiles before they vanished inside of Borg’s tower. Cole scrubbed a hand through his hair, then turned to the other elemental masters. “Thanks guys. Head home, okay?”

Skylor nodded, shooting Lloyd a smile. “Be safe guys.”

Karloff made certain to hug them all before he left, leaving Jay gasping as he always did. Everyone else simply left with waves or well wishes, heading home after the evening of fighting. Lloyd couldn’t blame them because he felt three seconds away from collapsing entirely. He couldn’t do that though, so he forced himself to stand upright. “Let’s go.”

“Lloyd,” Jay said. “Maybe you should sit for a second?”

Lloyd shook his head, typing into his comm to bring his car over. “I’ll be fine.”

Kai shook his head, snatching Lloyd’s arm. “I’ll come with you then.”

Lloyd sighed, but nodded, too tired to even argue with Kai. He just wanted to be home.

///

Zane sighed softly as he dug through the medical supplies in the monastery, feeling Cole’s anxious hovering more than seeing it. The Earth Elementalist wasn’t even inside of the med bay, yet Zane couldn’t shake his presence. Perhaps his sixth sense was just deeply attuned to his surroundings today. (Pixal would laugh at him and say it was because he liked Cole, quite a bit actually, and Zane would quickly find a way to reroute the conversation. She was far too good at teasing him, and he was starting to wonder if she secretly enjoyed making him flustered.)

“I have brought the tea,” Master Wu intoned, drawing Zane’s attention towards him. He watched as the old master handed his nephew the cup, his expression torn between conflicting emotions.

Zane understood the feelings well, he was very proud of Lloyd, but he had gotten shot and didn’t think he needed to tell anyone about it. He was never exactly not worried about Lloyd, not after everything the poor boy had been through, but he still hated to think too much about the reasons behind Lloyd hiding injuries. He wondered if there was a way he could phrase a conversation that wouldn’t cause the blond to build higher walls.

Lloyd smiled at his uncle, “Thanks.”

“Master, could you go see what we have in the kitchen for a meal?” Zane asked, if only because it had just crossed his mind. “Even if it is something quick and easy we need to eat before bed.”

“Of course,” Master Wu said, patting Lloyd’s knee before he left the med bay.

Zane did his best to appear calm and like he didn’t want to ask any questions that could rock the already rocky state of Lloyd’s mind, but unfortunately, he was glaringly obvious to literally everyone else. That sadly included Lloyd.

“Zane, just spit it out,” Lloyd grumbled, sipping at his tea slowly, cringing after every sip. “I know you’re upset with me.”

“Not with you,” Zane quickly soothed, setting his medical supplies down beside Lloyd, picking up the scissors so he could get to Lloyd’s arm. “Just that you got hurt. I am sorry you got wounded, not mad at you.”

Lloyd arched a brow, looking strikingly like his mother. “Really? I figured you’d be upset that I didn’t mention I was wounded.”

Zane huffed out a half-laugh, half-sigh. “Well, not exactly. I admit to a bit of anger about you trying to brush off your injury, but I expect it from you. You’ve never enjoyed the med bay.”

Lloyd stuck his tongue out teasingly, and Zane laughed as he cut off Lloyd’s sleeve. The younger ninja mourned his gi, watching Zane fold up the ruined sleeve with a sort of detached sadness. “I liked that sleeve, damn it.”

“Hey, no cussing in front of Zane,” Cole said, stepping into the med bay. “He’s sensitive.”

“I am far older than either of you, I have heard much cursing.” Zane set the scissors down, moving back to the medical supplies, gathering the cleaning liquids. “I just choose to use it sparingly, to further showcase my intelligence to others.”

“He just called Kai stupid in like five languages,” Cole stage-whispered to Lloyd, who broke into a fit of giggles.

Zane smiled softly at Cole, silently thanking him for boosting Lloyd’s mood with a well-timed wisecrack. Cole smiled back, returning to heckling Lloyd until the blonde could scarcely bleed. He was so distracted by Cole that he missed Zane cleaning and bandaging his wound, which was better for everyone involved. Lloyd wasn’t a bad patient, but he was…

Zane would say traumatized by his many, many, many runs into the med bay from normally near-fatal injuries. Or comas. The poor guy had been through a lot.

“All done,” Zane said, patting Lloyd’s knee to get his attention. “You can go.”

Lloyd looked mildly confused, then he grinned. “Cool. I’m gonna go call Nya and Pix, make sure everything’s still good.”

Cole waved as Lloyd left, turning to Zane the moment the door was closed. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Zane balked, in the midst of putting the med kit away. “Oh? About what?”

There were certainly many intriguing topics they could discuss, anything pertaining to the evening, or maybe something entirely different as a palate cleanser. To be honest, Zane had no clue what Cole was going to ask. He was unpredictable sometimes, despite his steadiness.

Cole rung his hands together, leaning awkwardly against the examination table. “Uh, I was wondering… Well, maybe hoping, I guess, if you’re cool with it, of course! If you would like to, uh, shit.”

Zane watched as Cole dug himself into a stuttering hole, voice going lower and quieter as he tried to talk to himself. It was cute, in a silly way. “Darling?”

Cole flushed, jaw clicking from the force he shut his mouth. Zane rolled his eyes, putting the kit away so he could take one of Cole’s hands. “I would enjoy snuggling, if that was your suggestion. Perhaps a movie to wind down?”

Cole beamed brightly, and Zane knew he had understood exactly what the Earth Elementalist was asking. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

The moment was destroyed when Lloyd threw the door open, panting. “Guys! Uncle Wu’s trying to fucking cook .”

( Somewhere nearby, Kai had an aneurysm at the feeling of his baby brother cussing. )

Zane felt faint at the mere thought, and Cole actually shuddered. “Oh hell no, Lloyd stop him!”

Their fearless leader made a pathetic whimpering sound, dashing back down the hall. Cole was right behind him, shouting orders. Zane hadn’t personally eaten any of Master Wu’s cooking, but he knew Cole had lived with him before anyone else had, and the experience was apparently… an adventure , to say the least.

Then Zane recalled Cole’s own culinary skills and fell over laughing, unable to stand any longer. The irony was not lost on him, and that made everything even funnier.

///

Jay stretched, flopping back against his bed with a sigh. It was far too late at night, somewhere between three and four in the morning, but he was over the world. He couldn’t sleep though, which was really annoying. He rolled onto his side, tucking his arms under his head, staring at the wall. He really should be sleeping, but he just couldn’t get his mind turned off.

He grumbled under his breath, sitting back up, resting his hands in his lap. With another sigh, he climbed out of bed, bare feet silent as he walked over to his dresser. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well just start his day, right? That sounded right to him anyway. Jay tugged out a shirt and pair of sweats, then paused for a second.

Should he wear his binder too? Jay chewed his lip, torn. He didn’t really feel terrible, but he knew he’d circle back to the more traumatic moments from last night, and then he’d really want his binder on. He grabbed it too, heading for the bathroom. Since it was so early, no one else would even be awake yet, unless they were struggling too, so he could have his morning rather peacefully.

He stopped when he spotted Kai leaving his bedroom, the fire ninja running a hand through his messy hair. Kai stopped when he saw Jay, knitting his brows. “Hey, babe?”

Jay jerked his gaze to the floor, clutching his bundle of clothes tight to his chest. “H-hey.”

Kai moved to him, gently ruffling his curls. “You okay?”

Jay shrugged. “Was gonna shower.”

“You feeling bad?”

Now how did he answer that? Sure, he didn’t feel fantastic, but he didn’t feel like trash. Maybe. Ish.

“I don’t know.” He eventually murmured, unable to meet Kai’s gaze.

Kai solved that issue by gently lifting his chin upwards, his soft amber eyes meeting Jay’s blue ones. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Jay blinked quickly, trying to stop the overwhelming feeling of tears. “I- I don’t know?”

“Okay, that’s fine.” Kai pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Go shower, I’ll make you something to eat.”

Jay nodded, staying still and rooted in place until Kai was out of the hallway. He sucked in a deep breath, forcing his feet to move forward across the floor. It was only a shower, he could do a shower. Kai was being nice too, offering to make him breakfast when he didn’t even have to, so why did he feel so anxious? It wasn’t like Kai would dump him for being trans, because they already had that conversation ages ago.

Maybe he felt so anxious because of how he had pretended to be a girl last night, dressed and looked the part. At the time, he didn’t feel bad about it, but looking back at it, how could he have been so stupid? He knew how he did with crowds and so many eyes on him, but he still made sure to put on a show for them all, so they’d pay even more attention to him. Had they all known he was faking it the entire time, but they didn’t want to say anything and offend him?

Jay sniffled, swiping at his eyes. They probably had known, and all the whispers behind their hands had been about him. There was no doubt about it. Someone had probably figured out who was too, and posted it online and then there’d be uncomfortable questions about him being trans and then he’d have to confirm or deny the claim and then the world would flame him or- or want him deemed unfit to protect Ninjago or maybe even want him dead-

“Jay, Jay, hey, look at me okay?”

Jay flinched at the sensation of fingers on his arms, jerking backwards and away from the touch. Something slammed into his back, making him drop his clothes on the floor, the world swaying wildly around him. “I- I’m- I didn’t-”

“Jay, it’s okay. You're okay. Can you tell me where you are?”

Jay squeezed his eyes shut. “M-monastery?”

“That’s right, that’s good Jay.”

Jay sucked in a breath, forcing himself to focus on anything. The pressure of someone holding his arms, the pain in his chest as he forced his lungs to breathe, the rough wood against his back and the dull ache in his spine from hitting the wall. There was so much, but not enough, and he could feel his body losing control, falling down into the spirals he tried his best to push away until he couldn’t anymore. He shouldn’t be like this, all shaky and scared, he should be better.

He had saved the world countless times, so why couldn’t his body and brain get with the program and fucking like each other?

“Jay?”

Jay swallowed as best as he could, slowly lifting his gaze from the floor (when had that happened?) to meet pretty amber eyes flooded with warmth. “Hi.”

Kai smiled softly, running his thumb over the swell of Jay’s cheek. “Hey there.” The Fire Elementalist was so gentle, his normally brash and bold actions gone, replaced with a softness that made Jay melt into his touch, sighing quietly. “You need anything?”

Jay nodded against his hand, pushing himself closer to Kai, relishing in his comfort. “You’re good.”

Kai laughed softly, brushing a hand through Jay’s curls. “Alright, we’ll stay put for a minute.”

Jay buried his face in the crook of Kai’s neck, content and for a few minutes, happy right where he was. He wasn’t needed anywhere, he didn’t have to do anything, no one was watching him. It was just him and Kai, and Kai was so warm. Jay loved it, cuddling tighter, enamored by his boyfriend.

He’d be okay.

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