#I'm just letting the intrusive thoughts win at this point

[haiihellooo]

"Stares at you with my autistic eyes" "AUTSIM CREATURE!!" I'm UsInG mY rOsE tOy 🤪" "All men are the same" "WhY aRe DiCkS sO uGlY??" "Sex is so gross!!" (Don't have it. Simple) "Bros before hoes <<< Chicks before dicks" (The second one just tries to hard. It's not funny. It's just not funny) "Transfem/Transmasc vibes!!" "I WANT THEIR GENDER SO BAD!" "She was a boy, he was a girl" Neopronouns (Cancel me if you want, I'm not calling you bunbunself, or whatever the fuck) Forced gay/straight ships "Literally any Cupcakke remix" "Let me pretend I care ✨" "YAOI ❤️" "Turns every character under the sun gay/trans" "All bodies are beautiful" (Some just aren't, dude) "Fat acceptance!" (Fat chance) Whitewashing/Blackwashing "Who want me? ����" "Save this pin for glass skin" "Girl, I-" "Whisper girls" (Aka dumb bitches on Pinterest who think they just came up with the funniest joke known to man) Whispers with either a random ass pic of an anime charcter or some Korean woman pouting. Overly offensive memes (Where's the joke?) "Taylor's version" (I like some of her songs, but please, please, shut the fuck up) "Acne is hot" Most of the MLP fandom (Most of it is just making Pinkie Pie/Fluttershy a serial killer, giving all of them mental disorders, or making them all gay/trans. Stop. Let me enjoy my fucking show) South Park fandom Most of Reddit Most modern music (Call me a "quirky teen" if you want, but I fucking hate modern music. "I don't wanna kill myself, I just wanna fix my health 🖤" Okay? How am I supposed to enjoy listening to that?) "Normalize periods" (I am saying this with 101% sincerity, as a female: Idgaf. "Normalize eating" Stfu, it's a normal thing. Stop fighting for it like you need rights to have a fucking period. Normalize shutting the fuck up) "If fucked ur mom lololol!" This generation is fucked. I hate it. Everyone annoys me.

[hdawg1995]

Remember guys, your friends are cool with you raging against CEOs and corporations as long as it isn't when you speak out against generative AI! Then you're the problem and can't take a joke!

[chuluoyi]

✎ rivals... in love?

- gojo satoru x reader

gojo is in shambles—so suguru might have a crush on you too?

genre: high school!gojo being a menace but pls spare him he just can't take losing, you see... crack, totally jealous!gojo, justice for geto, enemies to lovers, fluff

note: people have been asking for this so this is up next! i'm writing this while listening to bigbang's bang bang bang and fantastic baby so if gojo is a bit unhinged... you know why

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

No way. There is just no way.

Satoru felt his eyes itch and twitch uncomfortably. Despite the opaque black tint of his sunglasses, he could still distinctly see you happily giggling.

“Geto-san, that’s so funny!”

With Suguru. His ride or die. Your massive crush.

Your crisp laughter rang in his ears, scorching his ego and igniting it in flames—that was precisely the reaction he had hoped to receive from you too!

"Aren't they just cute?" Yaga was suddenly beside him with a wistful smile, looking at you and his other student a few feet away. "What do the television say again... a perfect match? In this case, a perfect match made in jujutsu school, then."

And responding to your bubbly self, creating the very picture of perfect match made in jujutsu school indeed, Suguru was every bit as enthusiastic. “Nah, wait until you see this—”

"Perfect match my ass," Satoru grumbled outwardly, rolling his eyes, but he immediately dashed away before his teacher could bonk him in the head for cussing.

It was harmless conversation, or jokes, or whatever. Because Suguru couldn't possibly reciprocate your feelings. His type is women of gravure magazines—Satoru had deemed it as such.

…Right?

At this point, he wasn't in enough denial to say that he didn't like you, because he had made it so clear that he was, in fact, obsessed. He wasn’t shying away from the things he did, which included annoying you constantly, asking you out after school, helping you in missions, and sending you few pick up lines here and there.

And he thought he was certain he could whisk you off your feet. After all, who else could measure up to him and win?

Heh, no one.

(or basically that's just him ignoring the intrusive little voice in his mind that whispered, “Suguru!”)

“So what's with the nice act, huh?” Satoru blew his bangs in a huff as he questioned his best friend with a twinge of dissatisfaction. “Do you like her or something?”

Suguru quirked his eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb. I have noticed how you two have been joined at the hip lately,” and with deliberate intention to spite his best friend, he made the sourest face as he mockingly recited, “Wait till you see this~”

Instantly realizing what he meant, Suguru burst into a loud snicker. “Come on, Satoru, really? Surely you aren't that petty. We were just chatting—”

“Not that. I know. What I'm asking now is that do you like her or not?”

It wasn't a rare sight to see Satoru with a pout and a frown, and usually he'd humor him. But this time, even Suguru could see that there was something different in the way he asked this. And should he say something that irked him then—

“Heh, so what if I am?”

That's the wrong answer.

Satoru halted abruptly, whipping his head around in sheer shock. "What the heck?"

“She’s a nice junior, kind, easy on the eyes,” Suguru shrugged, flashing him a dauntless smile. “Only a fool would let the chance pass up. Satoru, if you keep dawdling, one of these days, I just might—”

“Wha—hey!? That’s totally foul—!”

“Nah, they do say all is fair in love and war now, isn’t it?”

By a mind-boggling twist of events, apparently his best friend was also a guy after his dream girl. Satoru was irked, challenged, and he would never admit it, but a tiny part of him recoiled because Suguru clearly had an early start and a boost—you favored him first.

This was unexpected, and now he was conjuring up various scenarios of what he should do. He must act fast or else...

Little did he know that Suguru was thoroughly relishing his restlessness.

Everyone around you said that your relationship with Gojo Satoru... is intriguing to say the least. And especially ever since that one botched mission you two went, you also felt there was a shift in your dynamics.

And if by intriguing they mean him constantly blocking your way and invading your space, then yes, it definitely is.

"Okay, okay, but wait, just hear me out!"

You halted your steps and faced him with an annoyed frown. You really had no time for this. You were about to be sent on a mission. "Gojo, really, can't you just—"

"Okay, I know he's dashing, or whatever," he huffed, the last word he said with a hint of disdain. "But hear me out, and I'm sure you'll reconsider."

"Who are you talki—"

"Who else!? Suguru, of course!"

You couldn't possibly arch your eyebrow even higher, and before you could say anything, he somehow took it as his cue to keep going.

“First, he eats curses. Cursed spirits! He eats them like rice balls! Can you imagine just how foul the taste is?”

"Gojo, I don't have the time—"

"Then! Going from that, just imagine kissing him," he stressed, eyeing you intensely as your own eyes felt like popping out by the sheer suggestion. "What if you taste the cursed spirits rice ball?"

"You're unbeliev—"

"Wait! Can you even kiss him? What if his cursed spirits suddenly pop out of him? Are you willing to kiss his little friends—"

"He's your best friend!" you finally interjected, obviously and utterly in shock by his unhinged rambling. "How could you say all of that?"

"No, you're getting me wrong." Satoru's clicked his tongue. "I'm just listing facts why it's better for you not to end up with him."

You barked a dry laugh. "And? Better with you, you mean? That's awfully biased."

"Why yes of course! Self-promo is never bad," he blatantly retorted. "Let me just tell you aallll you need to know about me!"

He audibly cracked his knuckles and puffed out his chest. "You know already, I'm strong. I can protect you well. My cursed technique doesn't involve eating curses, so you don't have to worry about tasting the said curses on my lips."

How could he blurt all of this with that perpetually playful expression? A chuckle escaped you unwittingly and that only spurred him to go on.

"And I'm handsome!" he boldly claimed, pointing at his face with pride. "And obviously I don't need to say this, but I'm filthy rich—"

At that, you burst into hearty laughter, unable to hold it in any longer.

Satoru's eyes sparkled, lit as if someone had just made his day. "All in all, you know what I mean. Everything with me, all of it is going to be fantastic!"

Even you couldn't deny that all of this exchange had been so amusing. Hilariously so. "You're down bad, huh?" you tried to taunt, although it seemed like a burst of snicker. Yet, you were caught off-guard when he said:

"For you?" his little smirk made your insides suddenly all jumbled up. "Yes."

Huh? What is this? Your bravado faltered a bit as your heart did a somersault inside.

It wasn't supposed to thump this hard. You weren't supposed to feel this overwhelming urge to squeal too. And your face wasn't supposed to grow this hot...

Seeing that, Satoru celebrated his little win, a wicked smile on his glistening lips—that somehow looked rather attractive to you now. "How? Thinking twice now, are we?"

But he couldn't believe that after all this, you would still cunningly retort with, "Ha! You wish, Gojo Satoru."

His stunned face was so comical that you chuckled once again. You wanted to rebuff him more, but before you could, Haibara's voice called you from a distance. "Heeey! Let's go! Or we're gonna be late!"

"I suppose that's my cue," you lightly shrugged, and before you left him in a dust, you could've sworn you saw a flicker of brewing tantrum behind those glasses, which brought a smirk on your face. "See ya, try harder, and I might look at your way."

Satoru was at his wit's end as he saw you sauntering away. What more that he could do so that you could be his? To keep your eyes on him and him only?

And yet, little did he know, in that beginning of summer in 2006, even before you realized it yourself, you had already did.

Epilogue

In another corner of the school, eagerly spying on you were...

"Wait! Can you even kiss him? What if his cursed spirits suddenly pop out of him? Are you willing to kiss his little friends—"

"Did he just..." Suguru gaped, utterly in disbelief at what his own best friend said of him. "Did he just say that?"

Shoko let out a satisfied guffaw. "Oh, he definitely did."

"I can't believe he's tarnishing my name over a girl."

"Well, you know very well he could do way worse than that just to get what he wants," she threw him a thin smile, while exhaling a puff of smoke. "And hey, you lose. You gotta pay me."

Suguru turned to her in surprise. "Huh? Oh—oh, darn it. Shoko, can't you be less stingy?"

"Well, whose bright idea was it to pull that stunt on him and bet on whether Gojo would approach her in less than a day?"

-> continue to extended cut !

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

(Honkai Star Rail) Astral Express Crew finding a Lightsaber

Alternative Title: Welt and Dan Heng have to stop March, Caelus, and Stelle from accidentally cutting their own arm off

I've been rewatching a lot of Star Wars and I wanted to write the consequences of Trailblazers/March finding a laser sword and letting their intrusive thoughts take over because that sounds REALLY entertaining.

Inside the main Parlor Car, the crew of the Astral Express had gathered around to examine a relic found on a nearby planet. It was lost inside an abandoned military base, and conspicuously laying on the middle of an empty floor, to which the Trailblazers had grabbed it without hesitation, seeing something shiny.

(March 7th) "So...What the heck is it?"

March 7th peered over Stelle's shoulder as the Trailblazer shifted what appeared to be a metallic rod in her hands, fumbling with the machine while dragging it closer to her face.

(Stelle) "Beats me. Might be some kind of key."

She wordlessly tilted her wrist towards Caelus, who grabbed it and mimicked the same action, though looking at a hole inside the rod, raising an eyebrow.

(Caelus) "Keys normally don't have slots in them."

The only response he got was from Dan Heng, who simply sighed and pointed the hole away from everyone and towards the ceiling of the Car.

(Dan Heng) "Which is precisely why you shouldn't point it at your face. It could be a weapon."

Himeko and Welt sat on the nearby couch, watching as the younger members of the crew passed the rod along to each other as if sharing a toy.

Welt put a finger to his chin, his eyes squinting at the rod and adjusting his glasses with the same finger.

(Welt) "From what I can see, it is a device of some kind. As to what it does, I'm not entirely sure."

(Himeko) "Perhaps we could activate it from a distance and-"

Himeko was interrupted when Caelus shook it hard, his thumb pressing into one of the indentions on its side and accidentally activated the contraption.

A massive blue beam of light shot out from the hole in the hilt, causing everyone to jump back in surprise.

(Himeko) "...Or not."

(March 7th) "WOAAAAH! So bright!"

The machine hummed as the blue light stood rigid, whirring as Caelus swung it around, away from everyone.

(Stelle) "Looks like a glow stick. I kind of want to touch it-"

(Welt) "-Please do not do that."

(Dan Heng) "I think...it looks like a sword."

(Caelus) "Hang on, let me just-"

Letting his intrusive thoughts win, Caelus let the blue beam of light come into contact with the nearby table, only to split it half with a searing screech as the Astral Express crew gasped in horror.

(Caelus) "...Alright, I can confirm that it is a sword."

(Welt) "Caelus..."

Welt's scolding tone immediately caused Caelus to cease up, on instinct moving to bow and apologize-

(March 7th) "WOAH WOAH! WATCH WHERE YOU POINT THAT THING!"

(Himeko) "Don't cut your head off by bowing, Caelus..."

(Caelus) "R-Right...! So can I turn this off or?-"

He moved to shake it before everyone quickly took a step back as he did so, the blade whirring violently as he attempted to shut it off with brute force.

(Stelle) "Hold that still for a second!-"

Caelus stopped jostling the blade, allowing Stelle to grab the hilt before finding the indention again, shutting the blade off as it shrunk itself back into the hilt.

(Stelle) "...That's cool, a retractable light sword? I kind of want to keep it-"

(March 7th) "PSH! Are you serious! You can't hog that to yourself! Imagine how easy it would be to cut through bread with that!"

(Dan Heng) "We find a sword made entirely of light that can cut through metal like paper, and you want to make breakfast with it?"

(March 7th) "...Well, when you put it that way it sounds dumb!"

(Caelus) "Imagine how easy it'd be to finish commissions with that thing. I want to give it a whirl-"

(Welt) ahem "Stelle, please hand the weapon to me."

Everyone froze up at Welt's command, with Stelle immediately nodding.

(Stelle) "G-Got it, Mr. Yang."

Welt politely took the beam of death away from his rowdy comrades, and examined the hilt a little more closely before handing it over to Himeko, who did the same with a small smile.

(Himeko) "Hm...Seems like an elegant weapon...!"

(Welt) "From an older age, it seems like."

(Himeko) "Perhaps we should go back to that planet to see if we can find more of these retractable swords."

Himeko's smile grew upon seeing March, Caelus, and Stelle's eyes brighten from that sentence. Even more so from Dan Heng's terrified expression.

(March 7th) "Wait, we can get our own down there?! NEXT ONE WE FIND I TOTALLY CALL DIBS ON!"

(Stelle) "Second!"

(Caelus) "Sec-...Aww...!"

(Dan Heng) "I don't think this is a really good idea-"

(Himeko) "Oh, come on! Who am I to deny anyone the treasures they find from an expedition? On that note-"

Himeko handed Dan Heng the hilt, as his three comrades' eyes watched him closely like a hawk.

(March 7th) "Wha-He gets it first?! No fair!"

(Welt) "To be fair, he is less likely to cut his own limb off...Or a table in half for that matter."

Caelus sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

(Caelus) "Before we go back, do you mind helping me fix that..?"

Stelle sighed as she rolled her eyes.

(Stelle) "Fine. I'm doing this for Pom-Pom, not you by the way."

(March 7th) "Do you think they come in pink! I hope they do!"

(Himeko) "Make sure to bring one back for Welt and I, if you get a chance!"

(Dan Heng) "I'll...be responsible with mine."

(Welt) "We know you will, Dan Heng."

Himeko and Welt waved goodbye to the crew before they departed for the planet once again, after fixing the table with an unholy amount of glue and tape they found on the Astral Express.

As the two sat in silence, Welt turned to Himeko.

(Welt) "I think we should have gone down there with them-"

(Himeko) "Relax, I'm sure they'll be okay. This is hardly the first time they've found something like this either."

Welt couldn't refute her words, instead sighing and adjusting his glasses.

(Himeko) "Personally, I hope they find a red one for me. You?"

(Welt) "...I suppose yellow would be an interesting blade..."

...

(Dan Heng) "...You all can stare as much as you want, I am not letting any of you hold the blade."

(March 7th) "Come oon! Can we swing it around for just a second?-"

(Dan Heng) "March, this isn't a toy."

(Stelle) "No, but it is super cool! Besides, Caelus got to use it!"

(Caelus) "It was pretty sick-"

(Dan Heng) Please do not let them find any of these things to call their own.

[endataraxia]

hello hi wifi bet you won't do a scenerio where you're baking together with the pastas ‼️ I want messy ass kitchen shenanigans ‼️ who'd make a mess yet have delicious food? super clean but disgusting food?

if you don't wanna do this it's ok 🐧

hey penpen!! dw about it, since this scenario is a wholesome one i’ll try to write the wholesome fanon version of them so here goes

cw: wholesome. if you're looking for dark content, I'M SORRY word count: 482

toby would MESS THE FUCK UP like no joke the counter is full of flour there are chocolate chips everywhere. toby goes “CHOCOLATE CHIPS CHOCOLATE CHIPS—WOO!” it’s to the point you can’t tell if the whooping is real or if it’s a vocal tic.

the food you made comes out…decent. because all he did was just dump a full bag of chips into the cookie dough. no way in hell are you letting him touch the food. oh, but cleanup is going to be a pain.

ben can’t bake so he just watches you.

actually you don’t know if he can’t touch the stuff because he’s an apparition or if it’s because he just…doesn’t want to.

baking with ben is miserable. you cannot convince me otherwise. but he eats the food like a little bitch anyway.

bonus: he calls the whole mansion over to eat the cookies while you’re asleep so you have none left for breakfast/snacks tomorrow.

jeff… uh. i can see him absolutely torching the place. baking with him is barely baking, it’s more of trying to get him not to blowtorch the dough to bake it.

“y/n what if i blowtorch the whole thing” no. no, jeff. that’s not how it works.

but if you’re dating jeff, chances are you’re the type to let your intrusive thoughts win anyway.

there is no food when you’re done.

ej is actually decent!! he’s calm and collected and he knows what he’s doing. it’s more likely that you don’t know what you’re doing and he guides you.

oh, he stands behind you and gently holds your hands and guides you in kneading the dough, and you feel his breath on your neck and he says “yes, that’s it, darling. you’re doing so well.”

you’re too busy blushing by the end of it to actually savor the cookies. and all you can think of when eating the leftovers the next day is how he held you…

you’re saving baking with ej for a special occasion. your heart can’t handle this.

not sure if you want slenderman but i really cannot imagine him baking as the operator. but i did say it’ll be wholesome so here goes

slender’s tentacles basically do everything for you. “don’t worry,” he says, “I’ll do all the work. sit back and relax, my dear.” he reassures you that it’s not a burden and insists, but when you whine that it’s not fun when you don’t do it together, he lets up.

he still doesn’t let you do a lot of work though. but occasionally he’ll scoop up a bit of dough from the bowl and feed you, so you can’t complain.

if you decide to cheekily suck on his finger, he’ll chuckle.

“my dear, we can save that for later. it is unsanitary.” you pout as he washes his hands again.

the cookies come out delicious though. you can’t complain.

and he feeds you by hand. and you get to suck on his fingers playfully. you can’t complain.

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

Hey, it's me, the intrusive thought of using an incorrect quotes generator, winning, again

Let's throw Cassandra and the LORD OF PUDDLES (Mel) into the mix

Random npc: What do you want?

Mel: The souls of the innocent

Cassandra: A bagel!

Mel: No!

Cassandra: Two bagels

---

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Astyanax : Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Mel.

Odysseus : For the record, I already found them.

Cassandra : And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Odysseus : They stabbed me!

Astyanax : I'm surprised they waited this long, baba. We've all had the urge, remember Perimedes?

Cassandra, muttering to herself: who's Perimedes?

---

Cassandra: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Mel, LORD OF PUDDLES: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

Odysseus : Astyanax bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but he's WRONG.

Mel: ...and to make sure this idiot doesn't die, of course.

Casandra, nodding: of course.

---

Mel: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?

Odysseus : Anchovies and pineapple.

Astyanax : I like beets!

Cassandra: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?

Mel: I’m disowning all of you.

---

Astyanax: What the hell was that?

Odysseus: *picks up a flashlight* Only one way to find out!

Cassandra : Wait a minute! You don’t go TOWARDS the spooky scary banging!

Mel: Yes we do, Cassandra . We always do.

Astyanax: At this point I would be surprised if we don't

---

Cassandra : Good. Thanks, dad.

Astyanax : You just called Odysseus “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Cassandra : What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Odysseus : Do you see me as a father figure, Cassandra ?

Cassandra : No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Mel: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Astyanax: yeah Cassandra, hold your horses!

Odysseus: Again with the horse???

---

Mel: Where’s my chair?

Cassandra: Astyanax broke it over Odysseus ’s back while they were wrestling.

Odysseus : Correction, Astyanax was wrestling. I was eating soup.

Mel: that's rough, buddy

---

Telemachus: You know, my father gives my mother flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Mel: Okay.

*Later*

Mel: *gives Penelope flowers*

Penelope: ???

Mel: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

Astyanax, eating popcorn: this is the funniest shit I've seen in a while

---

Cassandra : Do you love Telemachus?

Mel: Yeah, I do.

Cassandra : Astyanax! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Astyanax, mouth full of olives, enjoying the view: We all love Telemachus . You should've asked if they were IN love with him.

Mel: I thought that was implied.

Telemachus: ...

Cassandra : ...

Mel, looking straight at Astyanax: Congrats Cassandra , you just won 100 bucks.

---

Odysseus: Why is Mel crying on the floor?

Astyanax : They're drunk.

Odysseus: And?

Astyanax: They saw a picture of Telemachus's spouse.

Odysseus: But they're Telemachus's spouse.

Astyanax : I know. Hey father, Eurylochus was right.

Odysseus: How so?

Astyanax: You DO attract weird people.

Odysseus: ...

---

Astyanax: Why are your tongues purple?

Mel: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Telemachus: I had a red one.

Cassandra: oh.

Odysseus:

Cassandra: OH.

Astyanax :

Astyanax : You drank eachothers slushies?

Odysseus: Poseidon, Polyphemus, Circe, the Underworld, Scylla, Charybdis, the suitors...and I'm NOT ready to have this conversation.

---

Telemachus : That's ridiculous, Mel doesn't have a crush on me.

Astyanax : Yes they do.

Cassandra: Yes they do.

Odysseus: Yes they do.

Mel: Yes I do.

---

Astyanax: Fight me!

Telemachus: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Odysseus : Why is Telemachus crying?

Cassandra: Astyanax kicked him really hard on the ankle.

Mel: ...

---

Odysseus I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Cassandra: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Astyanax: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Mel : I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Telemachus : I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

---

Penelope: Are we really going to let Odysseus keep Mel?

Telemachus: We kept Astyanax.

---

Mel: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Odysseus, Telemachus, Astyanax , and Cassandra: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

---

Astyanax: What does “take out” mean?

Mel: Food.

Telemcahus: Dating.

Cassandra: Murder.

Odysseus : It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

---

Tekemachus: How would you like your pancakes?

Mel: Plain.

Cassandra: With sprinkles!

Astyanax : Chocolate chips.

Odysseus : Potatoes.

*Telemachus, Cassandra, and Astyanax look at Odysseus *

Odysseus : What? They're good.

Cassandra, deadpanning: *gasps* monster

Astyanax: oh no here it comes...

Odysseus: I am the Monster rawr rawr rawr

---

Mel: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Telemachus: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Astyanax : Mel. Answer the question, Mel.

Mel: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Mel: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Telemachus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Astyanax : Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Telemachus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Astyanax : It takes less than a minute.

Telemachus: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Astyanax : How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Telemachus: Like seven minutes??

Odysseus : Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Astyanax : Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Odysseus ? Your stove is enchanted!

Mel: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Cassandra: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

---

Odysseus : You know what?

Odysseus : When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit.

*Telemachus, Mel and Cassandra continue screaming about mold water*

Odysseus : Not the other way around.

Astyanax : I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

---

Odysseus : You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Telemachus: Several traffic violations.

Cassandra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Mel: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Astyanax : Also, that’s not our car.

---

Odysseus: You three, explain right now!

Cassandra: It was Astyanax .

Telemachus: It was Astyanax .

Mel: It was Astyanax .

Astyanax :

Astyanax : …fuck.

---

Astyanax : How do you connect with a fictional character?

Odysseus : What?

Cassandra: What?

Mel: What?

Telemachus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

---

Cassandra: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Mel : ....

Astyanax : .....

Telemachus: ......

Odysseus: ..Who?

Cassandra: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Odysseus*

---

Cassandra: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Telemachus : Maybe a bit tipsy?

Astyanax: Drunk.

Mel: Wasted.

Odysseus: Dead.

---

Cassandra: So when are we gonna tell thim?

Mel: Just give him a minute.

Astyanax: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

---

Astyanax : Mel doesn’t look very happy.

Cassandra: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Astyanax: Hey! That's not nice!

Cassandra: *shrugs* neither are them

---

Odysseus: What are you two arguing about this time?

Telemachus: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Astyanax : Cry me a table, Telemachus.

---

Cassandra: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Astyanax : Can't relate.

Mel: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

---

Telemachus : You wanna fight?! You got one!

Astyanax : Okay! *raises fists*

*Mel runs in, scoops Astyanax up in their arms, and runs away carrying them*

Telemachus :

Telemachus : What?

---

Telemachus : Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

Odysseus: Damn, if people did that to each other, Astyanax would've killed me years ago.

Astyanax, nonchalant: there's still time

---

Telemachus : *lifting weights*

Mel: Wow… he's so intense!

Astyanax : I wonder what drives him.

Telemachus, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

---

Telemachus: You're pathetic!

Astyanax : You're pathetic-er!

Mel : You're both losers.

---

Telemachus : Would you take a bullet for me?

Mel: ...yes?

*Astyanax angrily burst into the room*

Telemachus : *running away* Great, thanks!

---

Cassandra & Telemachus : *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Cassandra: We need an adult!

Telemachus : Cassandra, you are an adult!

Cassandra: We need an adultier adult! Get Mel!

Telemachus: MEL????

Cassandra: They have water powers!!

Telemachus: Right!

---

Mel: What did you two do?

Telemachus :

Cassandra:

Mel: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to Odysseus and Penelope again or not.

Astyanax, having the time of his life: Again???

[karlachismylife]

If it's the ask I think it is about him whimpering when he finishes you can totally do topping him from the bottom I won't mind either way (I'm the one who sent that and I would love bottom Soap too)

Hehehe yeah, it was. Topping from the bottom... bottomming from the top... siding from diagonal... yeah well I think this is not "topping from the bottom" (cuz that's like. cowgirl and such, right? you're being penetrated but you have control. i think. i don't know...) But it is bottom Soap because I let my intrusive thoughts win, and all as a result of me skimming through your request too fast, lmao.

CW: short smut, gn!top!reader, unprotected sex and breeding, mild dom/sub dynamic (subby Soap). A hint of sweat kink? NSFW, minors and ageless blogs DNI or I'll block you. This can be read as amab!reader or reader using one of those squirting straps, cuz breeding Soap should be a given right no matter what you're packing. Still referred as "cock" and "cum", though.

You feel like a cosmonaut looking at another planet's surface, unfamiliar, captivating beauty of smooth planes, raised crests and hills, naturally soft dips and trenches, and even traces of sharp impact smoothed out by years of tectonic movements and erosion. There's a particular flavour of ecstasy, threading through your body like spreading mycelium, little fibers burrowing into the depth of your tissues and internal organs, just from watching this terra incognita breathe and move underneath you. It's alive, it's reacting to you, yielding under your touch - seemingly unmoving mass shuddering and shifting as you put your palm on it and press down.

Soap arches his back, giving in, and gasps at the feeling of your cock pressing against his fluttering walls. He's full of you, stretched rim glistening with lube and pointlessly fluttering around the shaft - doesn't matter whether his body is trying to push you out or suck you in, you're moving in rhythmic, calculated thrusts, hips slapping against his ass and sending satisfying ripples through the soft flesh just as you please.

"Feels good, Johnny?" You chuckle, hearing his low groan - the only response he can offer, squeezing already nasty pillow in his arms and jerking his hips up to meet you half way. "Yeah, feels good for me too. So fucking good, baby. F-fuck, you're a mess, hah."

You're mesmerized by the way his shoulder blades move, rising under his thick, sweaty skin in an attempt to connect, and then part again, letting his muscles swallow them into the living mass of his form as he squirms and rocks back and forth, impaling himself on your cock with obcene wet sounds. There's a sticky, slimy mess soaking the sheets under his drooling cock, grinding against the fabric to add to the sweet torture.

"Wanna know how good? Yeah? Want me to cum inside? Gonna fill you up, sunshine, s-so good, oof..." There's sweat seeping into your eyes - fucking into a huge soldier boy isn't a breezy walk, you have to put a lot of effort into slamming into his offered ass again and again. It's worth it, though, heat radiating off Johnny's body and clinging to you as you find your footing, gripping onto his hip and pushing him face down by his nape with another hand. It takes a little longer, a little quicker pace and a lot more whimpering and panting moaning from Johnny, before you finally erupt deep inside him, making a point of sliding in to the limit and staying there as you rapidly fill him with your cum.

Soap's muscles all tense up as he grips onto the sheets and spills right after you, sensitive cockhead catching onto the crampled mess and twitching as his sperm adds to the thick wetness smeared on your bed. You're a little light-headed, chest heaving as you come to a stop in your thrusts, so you need a moment before you can register there are words in Johnny's fucked-out blabbering and whimpering.

"Shite, ah, thank ye, mh, thank ye, thankyethankyeth... bonnie... please, dinnae pull oot yet, please-" He almost hiccups when you pull yourself together and nudge your cock a little further into the wet, sticky hole before it slips out. With a chuckle, you collapse on top of Johnny's exhusted form, nuzzling between his shoulder blades and licking up salty droplets pooling up in the soft dip between. Dragging your tongue up, you bury your nose into the prickly buzzed hair at the base of Johnny's skull and bite him affectionately, ruffling his drenched mohawk before you hug him around his shoulders.

"So grateful for my cum in your ass, eh? Good boy. I love you." There's a loud, blissfull exhale on his part - you feel his body relax under your weight.

"Ah love ye too, bonnie. So much."

[theinfinitedivides]

it's telling how some people who were in denial that assad's snub/exclusion from marketing had anything to do with racism and Islamophobia (throwing all kinds of insults for months that we're being delusional, that w'ere doomposting) are also lamenting how the awards nominations are now "pitting jacob and sam against each other". their outrage feels performative as hell, when they act more concerned with "homophobic amc" splitting up their imaginary rpf ship rather than understanding that racism is the reason a white man was propped up at the expense of the main POC who had the most screentime this season. i'm actually annoyed that fans were even trying to write rpf fix it fic of jacob comforting poor sam at the awards ceremony??? (is That what they focused on from this controversy?), it's so obvious they treat this jacob like an accessory to his white coworker.

they don't get to pretend that amc wasn't being racist and islamophobic when they threw assad under the bus.... only to evoke jacob's name when they're mad that he should have been nominated alongside sam, as if this season wasn't carried by jacob, delainey and assad. there's no excuse for why sam is repeatedly promoted over one or two of them, or all three of them. i'm sick and tired of not only amc but also all these fandom hypocrites.

anon came in my inbox so hot i had to check to see where the fire was before i burned myself, goddamn. had to let this one sit and cook. let it marinate. let it fucking soak up all that juicy shit and then serve and eat bc truly what else is there to say? what else can i say about this that hasn't already been said in better ways with more evidence. what the fuck. i will never forget accidently ending up on that side of the fandom where they're convinced that 1. JA is not straight (ok. fair. their prerogative. i have my list of celebrities who are assigned bi until further notice. i function with the baseline that people in general are assigned bi until further notice i just don't put that on the internet all the time) and 2. he married his wife as a beard and he and Sam are dating BTS—look, i have no problem with RPF. live and let live peace and love on planet earth etc etc i am an RPF warrior but that right there? that's some scary scary shit. 'if Sam wins at the awards Jacob is going to be there and they're going to hold hands on the red carpet and—' stop. the levels of presumption and delusion and tokenism can only go so far, you do not see me saying Eric and Jo Anne are going to pull up to their next event together with Assad hanging off their arm as their third and believing it with my whole chest. that's for the great fic writers of Zamasian to solve not me to invent wholecloth as fact

heading back to the point from that quick detour (aka understanding that racism is the reason a white man was propped up at the expense of the main POC who had the most screentime this season, as you said)—honestly we need to send the Jassad-Delainey crew some fucking ice packs bc i know. i know their backs hurt from carrying s2. i know they still do. i'm talking spa treatments getaways salary raises whatever they need bc they are continuously overlooked by the people and outlets propping up the white man who was barely here and they're still giving 1000%. in fact you want to talk about white men that should have been propped up on the side in terms of screentime let's talk Ben Daniels. hit after hit after hit as scum of the earth Santiago (and he put the Iago in his name. he was on his Othello shit) and no submissions. none. now granted i know he's been going through a period of grief after the loss of his partner + he was technically a guest star so maybe he asked not to be submitted. maybe they decided not to regardless. my point is you had Santiago giving more depth and dialogue and just *motions* everything than Dreamstat hanging around to be Louis' glorified inner critic and manifestation of his intrusive thoughts. the writing was on the wall from the minute we saw how they were treating Assad this time around the awards we were the canary in the coalmine telling you that Jacob and Delainey could be next bc of pisspoor promotion and what did we get? accusations of anti-Blackness and taking away appreciation for their success so no. you don't get to use them to hide behind your bitchass behavior Jacob especially. you're the same type of people who pulled up like some freaks and said that Armand should get back with his maker or get assaulted in s3 just to spite the fans blowing the whistle do not let his initials even touch the inside of your mouth

and the Islamophobia........................ hoo boy. Assad has been unapologetically open about his upbringing and religious background for years. he's said that he talked with Rolin about his thought process and approach to this multi-faceted role he knows what he brings to the table in this starvation economy and we thank him for it. AMC isn't thanking him for it when they choose to use his scenes as social media promo without acknowledging it in the FYC rounds and the fandom certainly isn't thanking him every time some shit comes up and people turn a blind eye. hey. newsflash. you want to not be a racist dick you have to not be a racist dick to anybody. you can't handpick a few of our Black siblings and be like see i'm not racist and then turn around and act like our South Asian siblings are talking out of their ass when they bring up the kind of stereotypical rhetoric that has been used in this fandom to talk about Armand. i ain't even telling y'all to like Armand i'm telling y'all to stop reverting to the vilest shit possible to say since you don't, just like some of you Lestat fans will take every opportunity to make Louis look like the aggressor and abuser in that relationship. fuck that

see now. i said what else is there to say but anon you got me fired up you see how long this is. awa. anyway i'm a strong believer in if you put that kind of energy out it is going to come back. by hook or by crook by God or the universe or your own motherfucking actions Crapaud going to come and pull up in your driveway and smoke your pipe. choke you choking there on the fumes. who doesn't hear will feel rope long but you hanging eventually wi

[sunlit-mess]

Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!

hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible

I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.

Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit

Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!

Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".

> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason

> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.

> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.

Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.

> I always do my best to think and be nice

> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so

> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting

Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.

Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)

Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.

Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.

Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.

What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—

(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)

[sincerely-sofie]

Chapter 1 of Sofie Plays "Slay the Princess": The Hero and the Princess

Into the insanity.

[ Beginning ] - [ Previous Part ] - [ Next Part ]

I like that we have a little bird talon as our cursor! Fun detail. I'd like to use custom cursors in my own visual novels someday.

Awww! This line is going to come back to bite me, isn't it.

THERE'S VOICE ACTING?????? DANG IT. Now I kinda wish I waited to record myself playing through this game like a let's play... alas. We persist with a playthrough journal comprised of still images and bullet point notes :<

Asked the Narrator how a princess locked in a basement could be dangerous enough to end the world and now I just want to have a perpetual sleepover with the gal. At the very least, we can give her some company while she's down there. Right?

Asked the narrator for details on how she'd end the world and now he's calling me a sheeple. RUDE.

Question: Does the Princess have actual powers that allow her to enforce her will on others? Or is this just the Narrator being anti-princess? or anti-this-Princess-in-particular?

I INSTANTLY DISTRUST THIS MAN. He's going to gaslight me to heck and back, isn't he? He already is, I just know it.

Told the narrator I'm going to meet the Princess before I make any decisions about executions. I'm doubting myself so bad. Is he the manipulator here? Is he genuinely warning me against the Princess being the true manipulator? He sounds uber bitter and I want to know their history.

Narrator, honey, I'm glad you've got a bit you're committed to and all, but I don't want to meet someone new whilst holding the means to end them. Forget taking the blade, I'm taking my sweet time getting to know this poor woman.

Okay yeah the Narrator is 100% not a good guy. That last line made me question whether he was voicing the Hero's thoughts, but the tone he used while saying it makes me feel like he's just working really hard at applying for the role of Intrusive Thought #4 Understudy.

THESE DIALOGUE OPTIONS ARE KILLING ME. NOOOOOO DO NOT LIE TO HER WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE HERE TO SAVE HER!!! THAT'S MEAN!!!!!

Told the Princess "Uh hi I think I'm here to slay you? Question mark?" and she responded with this:

The Narrator immediately followed up with the below. Go kick rocks Narrator. I want to at least be polite if I'm going to kill someone.

Can't decide whether the Princess is playing at the role of innocent victim or not. We operate on innocent until proven guilty laws here, though. So I'll act accordingly.

Just met the Princess and the Hero is INSTANTLY simping for her as the Narrator looks on in distaste. Straight up "HI WIFEY" nonsense. I like this couple.

Oh my word he's a dork. I love this character.

Told her about why I'm supposed to kill her and I'm 100% believing what she said. I don't care if she's going to sprout fangs and disembowel me with her teeth or anything, I adore this gal.

Oh no. She accurately read my thought process.

Okay so here's a theory: The Narrator really hates monarchies. Which is fair. But this seems very personal for him, and he keeps bringing it up, like the Princess deserves to die for the sin of her being a princess. Is this some kind of worldwide magic anti-monarchist government overthow situation? I know that's definitely not the case but I am grasping at straws to understand his motivation.

I asked her how she's been eating or drinking when I'm apparently the only person she's seen in a very, very long time, and she dodged the question, and the Narrator backed her up. This lady is 100% not human. The Narrator is itching to get me to kill her and is sweeping over what the Hero perceives as a plot hole, because from his perspective, he knows it isn't. She's not human. Jotting that down for later.

I told her that we could do the perpetual sleepover thing I mentioned earlier and I'm realizing how callous of a solution that is now that the Hero is all like "Yay I came up with smart solution! Win-win! Go me :D"

The Princess and Narrator both shot down the sleepover solution. Poor Hero.

The music just cut out. She's doing the anime mean girl thing where she examines her nails. I'm having regrets.

I'M STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME ANYMORE, GUYS

On the one hand: I could lock her in the basement and leave without killing her with my own hands. But with the abrupt change in tone I am no longer confident that this woman isn't going to chew off her own arm like a coyote in a trap so that she can escape and do... whatever it is she intends to do. I'm not sure that's exactly ending the world. But I'm leery of it regardless. She doesn't need food or water apparently, so she likely wouldn't die if I left her alone down here, which just further cements the idea that she's going to do anything necessary to get out.

On the other hand: I could kill her directly, and try to be merciful about how I do it.

On the OTHER other hand, I could free her, but I no longer feel safe around this woman.

I've been staring at these options for so long guys I'm so worried about making the wrong choice. I know that the opening screen said there's no wrong decisions but like. STILL.

Okay, decision made. She's definitely taking the self-dismemberment route if I leave her here, and she's definitely coming after me the second she's out. I'd rather try to make this quick than go through the exceptionally frightening scenario I'm envisioning in my head. Hopefully she's nice about inevitably overpowering me in the subsequent struggle and stabbing me afterward.

Hey, you guys know how 3D horror games will use 90 degree angle blind corners in order to facilitate jump scares? I think I just realized visual novels use line breaks to accomplish the same goal, and I'm scared to progress to the next line.

SHE IS GOING TO CHEW THROUGH THAT ARM AND I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE ASAP.

I CALLED IT I CALLED IT I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT HAVING CALLED IT SOMEBODY PICK UP THE PHONE BECAUSE I CALLED IT AND NOW I NEED 911 ON THE LINE

Oh cool beans! Reality warping! Let's gooooooooo

Yeah no she's definitely got reality warping abilities. I figured that if she doesn't need to eat or drink she wouldn't be able to bleed to death after losing an arm, so I closed the door behind me... and it locked.

Decided to try and wait her out while she lurks in the shadows and now we're LARping Sans and Chara as I fall asleep.

I chickened out and entered the dark to confront her. It went very well for me!

Oh... I don't like that title.

See you guys in the next chapter! I am scared :)

[theamazingdigitalraceway]

I have a fic request…a new racer enters (or an NPC gone rouge) and immediately starts taking a liking to Caine and giving him all the attention he ever wants…he doesn’t realize he’s neglecting Pomni and isn’t spending time with her anymore��When he finally does have time to spend with Pomni, she ignores him and runs off to her room sobbing…he then realizes how much he hurt her and how he needs to make things right, because he truly does love her

ATTENTION SPAN

A RACEWAY AU ONESHOT

WARNING: hurt/comfort, jealousy, angst

~~~

"Congratulations on becoming a racer, Loo!" Ragatha cheered.

Loo adjusted her hot pink gloves over the stark white tracksuit with pink stripes down the sides. She gave a twirl, feeling stylish and ready to race. "Thank you, darling! And thank YOU." She pointed to the floating Racemaster.

Caine looked behind him, realizing a second too late that she was talking to him. He pointed to himself. "Hm?"

Loo laughed. "Yes, you, silly. Thank you for letting me be part of the races! It's going to be so much fun! You did a wonderful job on this suit, by the way. Very-" She swings her long leg up into the air and braces it against the wall. "Flexible."

Ragatha just about fainted. Caine bashfully tugged his collar. "It wasn't anything, really. Tracksuits are pretty easy to make. I'm glad you like it, though. Welcome to the races!"

Pomni was a silent witness to all of this, and didn't think anything of the interaction. Loo was cool and more competition was always welcome.

~

It was after Loo's first race that Pomni thought things were starting to get weird. Loo came in fourth but celebrated like she had won gold. While there was nothing inherently wrong with that, Loo was a bit...heavy handed about her fun time on the track. She was practically gushing about every detail.

Caine had never been so proud of a track in his life. He almost couldn't believe the praise. "You're being too nice to me....but I won't stop you."

"Heehee! Well, the looping track that rotated into the ball pit? Inspired. That's probably been my favorite mechanic so far." Loo rambled on about each track piece, even if she didn't have much to say about it.

Pomni just rolled her eyes. "Okay, Caine was getting the praise hea always wanted. Good for him or whatever. It's not a big deal." She tried to talk away the burning jealousy that started to brew.

~

Loo talking Caine up after every race became a regular thing. Pomni could no longer deny the hurt when SHE would win a race, but Caine would only stick around long enough to give her the prize and leave. He had important project discussions with Loo to get to.

"Wait, I thought I was helping you with tracks?" Pomni asked, concerned.

"You have! But Loo has been giving me some really great feedback and I have a few adjustments to make. Shouldn't be long!" Caine vanished without giving Pomni a chance to respond.

No one's ever assisted Caine other than her. What he was happier with her..? Intrusive thoughts of heartbreak wormed their way into her mind.

~

The final straw was a missed date. Caine had promised to make up for missed time, but...he never showed up. Pomni knew where he was. His workshop. Likely getting lost in Loo's attention. She didn't care anymore. If Caine found someone better to be around, who was she to stand in his way. She retreated to her room, locking the door and refusing to answer to anyone.

That night, Caine returned Loo to the garage after a project ran late. "Sorry to get you back here so late. I didn't expect the booster generator to short out like that. I hope Ragatha isn't upset that I kept you busy."

"Don't worry about a thing, dear. Ragatha is very understanding. Besides, we're going to have a picnic date after tomorrow's race, so I can make it up to her then. Have a good night!" Loo left towards Ragatha's room.

"Goodnight! Have fun on your date!" He rested his hands on his hips. He was so happy to be in good graces with even more racers. Maybe things were getting better after all. His racers were such good spirits, they were finding romance like him and Pomni. "Wait... weren't we supposed to... OH SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA!!"

Caine flew up to Pomni's room and knocked repeatedly. "Pomni? Pomni?? You in there?? Po-"

Pomni threw open the door, her face contorted with anger and stained with tears. "What the [%$#!] do YOU want? Get bored of your new girlfriend already?"

"My new-?? No! Pomni, I'm so sorry I missed our date. It completely slipped my mind. Loo and I were-"

"Oh, I know exactly what you were doing. Spare me the [%#$!] details." Pomni hissed and tried to slam the door on Caine's face.

Caine held the door open. "Pomni, wait! She was just helping me design a new track feature! It really wasn't supposed to take that long! The glitches have gotten worse. Frustrating, at the very least."

"What a convenient excuse." Pomni said coldly.

Caine felt like she just stabbed him. "I really am sorry. Please, let me make it up to you. I beg of you."

"It's not just the date, Caine. You've been straight up ignoring me. Loo has you wrapped around her little finger because she strokes your ego. Did you design her to do that? Feed into your insecurities? Get out of my door, Caine. I don't want to see you right now."

Caine's eyes twitched subtly. "If that's what you want..." He backed off and let Pomni shut the door. He stared at her insignia for a long while. He didn't know what to do with himself. How has he let it go so far out of hand?

Pomni leaned against her door and sank to the floor, curling her knees to her chest. She didn't mean to tear into him so hard, anger and jealousy poisoned her words. She stayed there the whole night, unable to sleep.

~

Caine kept his distance from everyone. It was like the races were before Pomni showed up. He announced a race. A race was run. Humans to the garage. He has gotten too close and it hurt, but he was still determined to find a way to at least smooth things out with Pomni.

Caine brushed off compliments from Loo. She really was heavy handed with them...was Pomni right? HAD he made someone overly complimentitive? He didn't mean to.

He missed Pomni terribly. Not just her words; but her laugh, her banter, her cleverness. She wasn't just someone that told him things he wanted to hear. She was a person. She has her own fire that warmed his closed soul. Don't even get him started on her touch. Her kiss could send him spiralling into the void if he wasn't careful.

~

Caine hovered alongside Pomni as she walked away from the day's race. "Congratulations on second place, you REALLY gave Jax a run for his money."

Pomni ignored Caine. She still wasn't feeling particularly social.

Caine flipped over Pomni's head and flew backwards, upside down in front of her. "Come on, I'm trying here. I really want things to go back to the way they were between us. Loo is a friend. Those are good, right? She was never meant to replace you or anyone else."

Pomni stopped walking, glaring into Caine's pleading eyes. "You expect me to just let go of what you did?"

"Well-"

"Look, as much as I appreciate the effort here, I'm still mad at you."

"How can I make you un-mad at me?" He asked genuinely.

Pomni sighed. "Not letting your need for constant praise override our relationship, for one. I get that you work hard on these tracks, I really do, but understand that everyone here is...tired. Tired in ways you won't understand."

"...Are you tired of me?" Caine asked quietly.

Pomni's stubborn resolve broke. "No. I didn't even want to say those things to you...you just...what you did hurt me..."

Caine righted himself, taking Pomni's hand with both of his. "I never meant for that to happen. You mean more to me than anyone or anything else in this world. I'm in love with you Pomni. Empty words could never take me away from you. I'm sorry I got so distracted."

"It's okay for you to hang out with Loo, really. You two got along so well. Just, don't forget about me."

Caine cupped her cheek and leaned in, his voice a low whisper. "Never."

Pomni threw her arms over his shoulders and pressed a long kiss to his bottom teeth. Caine caught her in his arms and kissed her back.

[sawyerconfort]

the coven + kyle spencer head canons for jealousy issues and how they would each handle it differently?

HI HI HI FOLKS I'M BACK!

Ok, ok, let's do it then!

Lots of lots of ideas for this one! Just you wait!

(Wasn't sure if you wanted me to include Marie on that one, but I did just for the complete headcannons, hope you don't mind, anon!)

Enjoy!

Requests open!

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The Coven and Kyle Dealing With Jealousy Issues (Young!Reader, just for the record!)

Cordelia Goode, Fiona Goode, Zoe Benson, Madison Montgomery, Misty Day, Nan, Queenie, Myrtle Snow, Mallory, Marie Laveau and Kyle Spencer!

Cordelia Goode

Cordelia would be upset, of course.

She would let her insecurities get the best of her when she sees you talking to someone else and seeming too intimate with them.

But I don't think she would let the intrusive thoughts win that fight, not this time.

Cordelia doesn't want to seem so possessive. She's not like that, and she knows it would bother you a lot if it was miscalculated.

So, regardless of the situation, she will just leave where she is, walk to you and wrap her arms around your body, pulling you close to her, her eyes analyzing detail by detail of the other person.

"What is so funny?"

She would ask, pretending to be clueless, so she could take control of the situation better.

Internally, though, you can be sure that a few dark curse words and some not-so-friendly spell ideas are going through her mind, without her being able to show it aloud or with gestures.

She would have her arms around you the entire time, keeping you close until the other person understood that you were hers and nobody else's.

And when you guys get back home, she would insist that you cuddle with her to make up for the moment of insecurity and jealousy.

Fiona Goode

THE QUEEN of drama and jealousy.

Honestly, making Fiona jealous is like leaving a predator without prey.

Of course, she takes great care, despite her strong temper, not to seem like she's trying to pull you out of your comfort zone and push you away from the world for her sake.

But no one (nobody at all) goes unnoticed in Fiona Goode's eyes.

She will probably go to great lengths to touch you in the best places, just to tease you and make the person next to you feel uncomfortable enough to leave.

"It's a shame, my dear, but they're taken."

Just imagine her husky voice saying that, right in your face, also to tease you and to make sure she looks wild when she's jealous?

Fiona probably wouldn't let you talk much longer with the person afterward, or say goodbye. She would pull you to where she is and keep looking the whole time to see if the person isn't following you.

And if so, you can be sure that she would throw the person to the wall with no shame and no fear of being in public.

When you guys got home, she'd make a scene, again, to let you off the hook because she's a drama queen.

There would DEFINITELY be make-up sex.

And it would DEFINITELY be the best sex you've ever had in your life.

Zoe Benson

Crying, drama, insecurity and a little bit of fighting.

Zoe is overly afraid of losing you, but not to the point where she won't let you hang out with other people, friends in general.

The problem is that when the person starts to take advantage of the situation, Zoe becomes confused and desperate.

She is quite similar to Cordelia, though, when it comes to handling the scene itself.

Zoe will just cling to you to make sure she's in control and to make sure nothing bad happens.

However, things get worse on the way home, when she is silent throughout the ride.

She will probably lose her mind when justifying herself, letting her insecurity speak louder and expressing in an exaggerated way how important she is to her.

This is troubling because Zoe knows it is.

Anyway, when the fight is over, she will need some time to think and then she would probably come to you again, to apologize.

"I didn't want our relationship to be a threat, but I'm really afraid that you'll leave me for someone better."

She would hug you and then apologize if she sounded too possessive.

You would end up in a good mood, cuddling and thinking of a way to improve your relationship without jealousy that would be harmful to both of you.

Madison Montgomery

If you thought Fiona was the drama queen, wait until you see Madison.

She just can't control herself.

She doesn't want to control herself.

Every time someone comes close to you, she pulls you close to her very willingly and gives that typical killer look to whoever is looking at you two.

Madison is extremely possessive, especially when it comes to you.

Sure, she doesn't go around hitting and cussing people out for no reason (even though she can do that), but just staring Madison Montgomery intimidates a lot of people.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're mine and nobody else's, (Y\N)?"

She'll find a stupid excuse to fight with you.

And then she'll drag herself out, pouting and apologizing, confessing how horrible she is as a person.

Or she will probably ask you for kisses to fix the situation.

There's make-up sex, but Madison isn't urgent and aggressive, not that part. She just wants to make love to you so you know no one else would top hers.

Misty Day

Misty is oddly bipolar with her jealousy of you.

Some hours, she may seem too possessive and feel the urge to punch someone because she thinks she's too inadequate for you.

But in the others, she handles it generally well, and just gets a little grumpy.

Considering that years of seclusion in the swamp have prevented her from feeling anything serious about anyone, being jealous is a very unusual and weird thing for Misty.

She doesn't know how to handle it well at first, but she learns to control herself. And she doesn't want to hurt anyone, most of all, especially you.

So most of the time, Misty will just slowly walk over, hug you and let you rest on her chest as she kisses your head and turns to the other person with a sweet little smile.

"Excuse me, the conversation must be great, but they already have a girlfriend, I'm sorry."

On the way home, she would insist on being isolated in her corner for a few seconds, and it would take a considerable amount of time to admit that she is genuinely jealous of you.

But overall, having Misty jealous is just as adorable as having her around.

Nan

Nan is not that over the top when it comes to being jealous of you.

I mean, except for the fact that she can control people's minds - and easily can control hers as well - she doesn't show overly jealousy, and maybe isn't even overly jealous.

She knows that you would never betray her like that, nor would you exchange her for anyone without a reason behind it.

But, of course, Nan has her moments of extreme caution.

She first assesses the person, reads their mind to be on the safe side, just to know how to approach them without scaring you off.

If it's someone who is clearly just someone close and significant to you, she'll let it go, take your hand and gently lead you away, apologizing later.

But if she catches some ulterior motive, oh, then that person is probably screwed for life.

"Oh, sorry, I read your mind, I feel something is wrong and I want to secure my territory. (Y\N) is mine and mine alone."

Nan doesn't like to fight with you, and when you have alone time, she just wants to make sure you're comfortable with her and that your relationship is going well.

The two of you cuddling after discussing the relationship and making a decision about Nan's adorable bouts of jealousy.

Queenie

Get ready for the jealous queen.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the person who decided to test Queenie's patience, especially when it comes to you.

She hates to think about the possibility that you would replace her, but it's impossible not to when everyone else has already replaced her.

Queenie is not at all afraid to approach the person and you when they are jealous.

And she'll hug you and kiss you real quick just so the person on the other end understands that you already belong to someone else.

I don't even need to go into detail about her being a voodoo witch, do I?

Of course, Queenie's case isn't as severe as Marie's, but there would definitely be a thought about creating a doll of the person.

Although Queenie knows the limits of voodoo and knows that it would be cruel if you knew she was hurting someone out of jealousy, so she won't even bring it up and will promise to forget about it quickly.

LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of curses. Every one she knows.

"Listen here, pervert, they already have someone, okay? Get the fuck out!"

You wouldn't fight, even though she always ends the day with a hot head.

She just wants you to know that you're important to her, and that nothing and no one in the world could ever break the bond you have.

Myrtle Snow

Myrtle knows how to deal with feelings, but she's not ready to be jealous of someone.

That's why she is confused about this, about her behavior when she notices that you seem quite happy in the company of someone other than her.

Since Myrtle doesn't control her impulses, she will probably approach you and make up an excuse for you to pull away from the other person, without using excuses or justifying yourself, just getting you out of the way.

No, she would never commit any atrocity with the person who was chatting with you. Myrtle Snow promised that she would change that part of her behavior for you and she will keep it until the end.

"I don't understand, (Y\N), I felt strange… seeing you with them…"

"That's jealousy, Myrtle dear", you'd say, laughing and finding that very cute.

Myrtle would certainly ask Cordelia for advice after the first scene of jealousy, for fear that she was feeling something really wrong, or even to cope better without running the risk of pushing you away.

Anyway, as long as she doesn't lose you, Myrtle doesn't mind feeling weird…

Mallory

Mallory wouldn't handle jealousy, that's the answer.

She would feel too awkward to set boundaries with you, and anyway, she would feel awkward approaching someone out of the blue.

But even if she insists on not hurting you, that feeling that something is wrong would haunt her forever. And that's one thing Mallory would never admit.

Then she would be content to approach you very slowly, putting a hand on your shoulder or wrapping your hips around. And look the person on the other end of the conversation straight in the eye.

"Don't you think you've talked enough?"

She won't say it in a possessive way, but she will turn extremely red when she's done, pulling you back and taking you back to where she was before.

The conversation would be calm and sincere, and Mallory would express that she loves you very much and that she just couldn't bear to lose you.

But she knows you love each other too much - and she loves you enough - to just take care of you like no one else ever would.

Marie Laveau

I just wanted to say that anyone who decides to make Marie Laveau jealous is pretty crazy.

She LITERALLY is the Voodoo Queen, what did you expect?

Years of experience to be sure how to handle such a situation.

Marie won't let it go and will immediately talk to the person who is showing ulterior motives towards you (and believe me, she knows very well when a person is or isn't…) "They already have someone, and that someone isn't you, so get the fuck out."

She wouldn't dare call you names or fight you out of jealousy (definitely Marie is someone who thinks it's cheesy to fight out of jealousy and make a scene)

A LOT of make-up sex.

She loves to tease and tease you during sex after a jealous scene like that.

Marie loves to get you flustered, she thinks it's cute and she's even more in love with you when she's done teasing.

No, no chance of having a person's voodoo spread in Marie's quarters.

Or, at least, not that you ever found out about it…

Kyle Spencer

Kyle is usually not jealous.

But it's because he learned that the rare times he did show it, things got highly self-defeating.

He doesn't want to scare you, so now he just walks up to you, pulls you into his strong arms as he looks you up and down, then kisses you on the nose and pulls you out of the way.

He's secretly ashamed that he can't get the words out anymore, which is why he's always quiet when it comes to a scene like this.

Back in the day, before the accident and death, he was out of control and things almost always ended in a beating, and he doesn't want to be that way anymore, not after meeting you.

"(Y\N). Not. Comfortable."

He would whisper to you as he tried to explain to you what happened, and as he watched to see if you were okay.

When you were alone, he would cuddle with you and pet you, just to make sure you weren't mad that he pulled you out of a conversation where you seemed happy.

[wnbawag]

Don't Let Your Intrusive Thoughts Win Part 6

Pairing: Breanna Stewart x OC!Griffin

Summary: Griffin, the 9th 2024 WNBA draft pick, was an unusual case, coming out of the University of Kentucky. You see, Griffin was short. Not just WNBA short, like short short. Like Griffin was barely 5’2. The Liberty, the team she was drafted to, loved to call her the shortest player of all time, but Griffin loved to 1. Remind them that Shannon Bobbitt was also 5’2 and 2. That she was definitely taller than Shannon. So she was the second shortest WNBA player of all time. The Liberty would roll their eyes at her, basically as one. 

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1.6k

Note: I'm realizing now I never gave this poor child a last name. If you read these notes, send me a suggestion. Slight Aces slander ahead. I do love that team but lord were they mean to the Liberty (Stewie) in 2023 and I have still not forgiven them.

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The next game was a home game against the Las Vegas Aces.

And Griffin could not wait.

Coach pulled her aside at practice, telling her she’d be coming off the bench for Sabrina throughout the game. The rest of the practice was spent running plays with Sloot, JJ, Stewie and Fiebich while Sabrina worked on three point drills at the other end of the court.

Griffin was feeling good.

—

Griffin had been ready for a rough game, considering the rivalry between the Liberty and Aces, but she wasn’t expecting this. 

The start of the event was fun, she got to meet the Aces after shootaround. All of them were nice enough, Griffin had been over the moon to meet Kelsey Plum. She had looked up to the woman all throughout her college years and was excited to finally meet her.

She had a cute reunited moment with Kate, the two of them had become friends over their college years.

That was before the game.

During the game? Griffin thought she was about to die.

It didn’t matter where she was, if she had the ball or not, who was winning. No matter who from the Aces was near her, they were shit talking their head off.

“Come on princess, too rough for you?”

“Too much for you? You just a little princess or something?” 

“Missed it by a mile, you’re cracking, princess,”

Each comment thrown her way was mocking, laced in a condescending voice.

Griffin tried to ignore it, Sabrina was having a rough game so she was spending more time on the floor than off of it.

Luckily, she managed to run some plays, make a few three pointers, snag a few assists, but every time she made a mistake, the Aces were there to point it out.

She swore she even heard Coach Becky at the Aces bench laughing at one of her misses, calling her the “charity case”.

They were up by 6 when Coach Sandy called a timeout in the third quarter. After going over new plays, Coach shot Griffin a glance, asking how she was doing.

“I’m doing fine, just trying to find my feet,” Griffin said with an overly polite smile, tipping off Stewie’s interest.

“I’ve seen them talking to you, rook, are they being nice or they messing with you?” 

Griffin let out a laugh she hoped was convincing.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” And shot Stewie a slightly-pleading look, hoping the taller woman would let it rest.

She didn’t want the team to think she couldn’t handle herself.

Stewie didn’t look happy with the answer, but let it go.

Sabrina continued to have a rough game and Coach sent Griffin back onto the court. Stewie and Griffin settled into a rhythm.

They were sending the ball flying across the court, getaway passes going so fast that the Aces didn’t have time to react. 

Stewie stepped into a few easy threes and set Griffin up for layup after layup.

The entire time, Griffin pretended to not hear the names Coach Becky was calling her from the sidelines.

Stewie, on the other hand, was starting to hear it.

Midway through the fourth quarter, Coach Becky had already been given a tech. She earned that one when Griffin stepped back and shot an uncontested deep three.

Griffin didn’t even want to repeat the name that fell from the opposing coach’s mouth.

She saw Stewie saying something to Aja on the run back across the court, clearly upset. Aja gave Stewie a shrug in response.

Then it happened.

The Liberty was up 12, but when Griffin found the ball in her hands with 0.8 till the buzzer, standing by herself at the logo, she couldn’t help but launch.

On the off chance it would go in.

Then it did.

The crowd erupted when the ball found net, then-

Griffin had barely come down from her jump when she got slammed.

She didn’t even see who did it, just felt a freight train connect to her side and launch her courtside.

She could hear people jump out of the way before her head connected with one of the seats there.

She had never been in that much pain, her head throbbed and when she opened her eyes she couldn’t see.

The arena was silent for a split second, then exploded with boos.

Griffin faintly heard the ref yelling at the Aces, Coach Becky yelling back.

Why can’t I see?

She stayed down, the weight of whatever player had crashed into her was heavy on top of her.

When the weight was suddenly ripped off.

She heard Stewie, she was yelling, whatever she was saying? Griffin couldn’t tell you.

The furious yells were a stark contrast to the soft voice that sounded beside Griffin’s ear.

“Stay down rookie, I got you, don’t try to move,” Stewie’s comforting voice echoed in her head, the head Griffin was desperately holding, trying to make the pain stop.

“It hurts B,” 

“I know rook, stay still,” 

Griffin could hear the team crowded around her, blocking her from view of the fans and cameras.

Further away, she could still hear Coach Becky yelling, however now she was being matched by Coach Sandy’s furious voice.

The team’s medic was there now, Griffin recognized her calm voice and felt a soft cloth wiping something wet out of her eyes.

Oh.

She couldn’t see because her own blood was covering her eyes.

The pounding in her head, the blood she now felt coming out of her head, booming from the arena was suddenly too much.

“She’s gonna be sick,”

“Sloot, hold up a towel, block that camera,”

“Here Griffin, there’s a bag in front of you,”

Griffin felt her body convulse, the team medic guiding her head into a bag, letting her empty her stomach.

Griffin felt hands gathering the loose hairs from her face, holding them back with her ponytail. The same hands rubbed her back, those were Stewie’s hands.

Griffin knew it.

She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to face the team like this. 

After she emptied her stomach, she felt tears come rushing out, wetting her face once again.

“She needs to get back to the locker room,”

“Do we have a stretcher nearby?” 

Voices ran together as Griffin cried, pissed at herself for looking so pathetic in front of her team.

“I’ll carry her, y’all stay around me, cover her for the cameras,” Stewie’s soft voice cut through the noise, taking charge of the team.

Her strong arms gathered Griffin to her chest, slowly lifting her bridal style.

Griffin cracked her eyes, looking up at Stewie’s worried face.

The same arm that supported her back reached a hand around to her face, turning it to rest in between Stewie’s collarbone and jaw, against her throat.

“Stay here rook, don’t give them anything to talk about,” 

And the Liberty walked towards their locker room, not giving the Aces a second glance as they passed. Each member blocking Griffin from view.

—

Griffin got lucky, extremely lucky.

It being New York, paramedics were there within a few minutes to assist the team medic. It was quickly assessed that while Griffin hurt like hell and would be in a world of pain for a few days, she was lucky enough to avoid a concussion.

She just had a pretty awesome black eye and a gash running from her hairline through her eyebrow.

But no permanent damage done, besides the scar she’ll most likely have.

Once she was patched up, the team medic mentioned that Stewie had waited for her, saying she would take her home once they were done.

Coach Sandy came in at one point, asking if Griffin wanted to know how the post-game conference went or if she’d rather hear about it later.

Griffin decided to hear about it later, which Coach allowed, giving the girl a small hug and telling her to rest.

Finally, Griffin was given the go ahead to head out, and she made her way back to the locker room.

That was where she found Stewie.

Stewie was sitting at her locker, manspreading as usual. 

But Griffin had never seen her look so … angry before.

Angry was an understatement to how pissed Stewie looked. 

She wasn’t even on her phone, just staring straight ahead, looking pissed. She didn’t even notice Griffin walking in.

Griffin didn’t quite know what to do, but for some reason, she felt so distressed looking at the pissed off Stewie.

She really wasn’t sure what came over her.

Later she would say she was tired and just didn’t want to stand.

Sure, that was the reason.

Griffin crossed the room, still in her blood stained jersey. Stewie didn’t react when she stood in front of her, still lost in whatever little world she was in.

So Griffin moved in between Stewie’s knees, and sat down so that she was kneeling in between Stewie’s thighs.

That got Stewie’s attention.

“What’s wrong Breanna? You look like you’re going to kill someone!” Stewie let her gaze rake unapologetically over Griffin’s kneeling form, letting dirty thoughts flow through her mind.

Stewie swallowed, trying to get some moisture back in her mouth which suddenly had gone dry.

“They targeted you all game rookie, I heard the shit they said,” Stewie was fighting to keep her voice steady.

She wanted to commit this image of you between her thighs to memory.

“It was nothing I couldn’t handle,” Griffin let her voice stay quiet, soft, sensing Stewie needed that right now.

“Until you got plowed. That was a dirty play, the buzzer had sounded and the game was over by that point. That was targeted, Griff,” No matter how wet Stewie was getting between her thighs at the image in front of her, it couldn’t overpower how upset she was about the events of the game.

Griffin gave Stewie a big smile, the first one she had cracked since getting launched.

Stewie furrowed her eyebrows, thoroughly confused now.

“What’re you happy about rook?”

“You called me Griff,”

[catzcasz]

Thinking about the current situation with Cellbit and Roier (cubito)

Both characters are screwed, both have their traumas, but they both love each other so much…

It is very sad to know that Cellbit is not able to understand that Roier really loves him so much. Cellbit said that he is afraid… and that he just wants Roier to be happy, that he doesn't believe that Roier will be happy where he is (Purgatory) and the way he is now. He really believes that Roier can move on, forget him, and be happy…

Why? Well, because for Cellbit it seems impossible for someone to love him as much as Roier do… although Roier has told him several times, in his head no one has ever loved him like that (he doesn't remember love in his past, only war and betrayal)… In addition, his mental state is now also affected by "Richas' death", he and Baghera really believe that the eggs died and wish they had died with them… (Funny because Roier also wanted to die when he lost Bobby).

On the other hand, I am so sad for Roier… Roier who has traumas about the people he loves betraying him or leaving him alone… When Roier returned "alone" to Quesadilla Isla (because his whole family: Cellbit, Foolish, and Jaiden did not make it on time) I can't imagine how horrible it was for him, literally those days he probably went through so many thoughts in his head.

He told Pepito that Cellbit left him, other times he said that Cellbit died and then he told Leo and Richas that he was working on something and had a plan, he literally went through many types of thoughts /stages all those sleepless nights in Quesadilla…

Let's remember that (in canon) Roier has been blamed every time someone he loves leaves, some people told him that the betrayal was his fault, and told him that Bobby's death was his fault, I can imagine that at some point too He questioned and blamed himself for Cellbit not getting on the ship on time… I also imagine that at some point he thought that Cellbit decided to leave him, they are just intrusive thoughts caused by his trauma, but surely weighed on his soul even though he later discarded them. But…from what we saw, in the end, Roier did believe that Cellbit was alive and wanted to look for him (until he was kidnapped).

In that sense Roier and Cellbit are very similar, they both love each other very much but have thoughts (caused by their traumas) that can affect what they say or do at certain times.

I'm really afraid of what happens these days in the "Roier cintas" and I'm afraid when Cellbit returns to Quesadilla Island (I imagine he will at some point)

I'm sure Cellbit will feel anger and want to tear apart those who hurt Roier, but he also probably will blame himself and want to tear himself apart for leaving him alone... I'm afraid of how Roier will react (and I don't mean that he might hit Cellbit with his flip-flop xd / scream / hug or talk deeply about this situation) I mean that until we finish Roier's lore we won't understand if the Federation really did it something to him that can affect their relationship (like erasing his memory or who knows what)…

There are still many things in this arc that can affect what will happen between them in the future, kinda scared, although I trust that at the end of the day, love wins.

[slightly-sad-sloth]

Little fandom vent; sometimes I get annoyed at the way fandom reduces Damian down to stabby child who only cares about himself and does murder. Like yeah while I get fandom almost always reduces characters down to their funniest or snappiest traits Damian's just doesn't make sense.

Like his whole character is about how much he DOESNT want to be those things.

Damian cares so so so much about other people he just struggles to express it bc it takes a lot for him to trust someone enough to believe they're not going to pull the rug out from under him or betray him somehow. If he didn't care about other people he wouldn't have spent months trying to find Martha's pearls in the sewer, risking his life bc there was a bounty on his head at this point and further ruining his image with Bruce (who thought Damian was just sneaking off and putting himself in danger). He wouldn't have denounced the league and everything he knew to protect a man he'd met less than a year ago. He wouldn't have purposely failed a timed test as Robin to get across the city as fast as possible (a test that would've allowed him to go out alone as Robin and given him more independence one of things Damian values very highly) instead he went over the allowed time by more than 10 hours BC he helped old women with their shopping and walked women home after they were robbed and he sat with a man he saw crying in his apartment for more than 2 hours just having tea with him. I could go on and on about all the genuinely kind things he does bc Damian's empathy and kindness is one of his defining traits actually.

And yeah he used to kill people and he was more prone to violence than the other Robins but he was literally raised in an environment where his worth and by proxy his survival was tied to how well he did murder. I'm pretty sure if you raised any child in an environment where since they were born they were rewarded for killing and violence but punished for showing mercy and told them that it's for the greater good, that they're special and that there's nothing wrong with killing if the ends justify the means they'd end up the same.

Not to mention Damian fights so hard to not be violent bc he doesn't want to be, the people Damian admires most in the world (Dick and Jon) both based their entire personality around Superman (also it's confirmed Supes is his fav justice Leaguer in supersons). Damian wants to be like them so bad and wants to be kind and outgoing and as pacifist as you can get as a vigilante. Damian struggles so much to be that person but it's not as easy as just stopping when you've been conditioned your whole life that killing is the right move and that your worth as a person and the love of those around is dependent on you doing it. He literally keeps a sketch book where he just draws out all the intrusive violent thoughts he gets while fighting villains to get the anger and compulsion out so that he DOESN'T do those things. And Damian feels immensely guilty about all of his past murders which is shown over and over. When he kills no-body (an action he did to protect Bruce) he asks Bruce afterwards how he's supposed to make amends, how he's supposed to live with it.

Which leads me onto the other thing (and hopefully the last cause wow this is getting long) even Damian at his absolute worst only performs extreme violence out of either self defense or logic to him. He doesn't do it out of maliciousness (or at least that isn't the motivating factor). His worst actions were probably in his introduction where he 1) He accosted Alfred and stole the key to exit the batcave 2) Decapitated a villian 3) Attacked Tim

So let's get background on these events from Damian's pov. Damian has never been told who his father is and has to duel his mother every year on his birthday for the chance to find out. And then on his 10th birthday he wins and then that same night he's taken on a plane to go live with this man who he's told about on the plane ride over, then his first impression of him is Bruce fighting a bunch of manbats. His mother says she's leaving him with him indefinitely not telling him when she'll be back. And then this man who he only found out about hours beforehand takes him on another plane to a foreign country where he knows no-one and he finds out his father has other children as well. He's then locked in a small room adjoining a fucking cave full of weapons and told virtually nothing with no-one really talking to him except for them telling him that oh yeah everyone you know and trust is evil and your whole world view is wrong. And then when he yells at Bruce and has what's honestly best described as a temper tantrum (BC oh yeah he was literally 9 years old until a couple hours ago) Bruce in a bid to try and control his anger (since he's not sure how dangerous he is yet) uses league tactics on Damian telling him that he's dishonouring those who taught him. So the literal child whose spent his 10th birthday being flown around the globe to be a dumped in a foreign country with a man he's never met and only knows is a good fighter with a family consisting of an unknown amount of other allies who are similarly trained and then was locked in a room after being told his whole life is a lie might be forgiven for latching onto the only familiar thing here and going 'oh! Now I know how this works'

With the knowledge that Damian definitely decided from this conversation that the bats operate the same as the league it's pretty clear his reasoning is

1) Accosting Alfred and and stealing the key - a) I don't think you'd wanna be locked in a space by a bunch of strangers either no matter how nice the space is b) he probably assumed it was a challenge to see whether he was able to break out and a way they were testing his worth/ability

2) Decapitated a villian - once again assuming this is a test and trying to prove his worth/help his father in the mission to stop crime he was just told about

3) attacked Tim - a) Damian assumes that since Tim is home that he must be the current favourite and it's already known that in the league the way you replace someone is by killing them thus proving you were better than them. B) in the league if you were not the favourite/the best you were disposable c) the only way Damian knows how to earn/receive love is by performing violence, it's pretty reasonable that a 10 year old would try to go above and beyond to earn their new father's love (especially for a child like Damian whose always looking for that unconditional love he's been denied)

From Damian's perspective here he's being the best son anyone could want, he's doing the most past the point he'd be expected to and only being met with anger and disgust. Not to mention that from his view he's literally ensuring his safety since once again in the league Damian was one of the only people whose safety was ensured by proxy of him being the heir/favourite, we literally see them kill other leaguers as part of training.

Like this isn't to excuse what he did or say it's right but it is to point out that it WAS right from Damian's point of view and that he doesn't do what he does out of malice or blood thirst he's just a small child who quite literally didn't know any better.

(also him being mean is similarly a self defense thing, it's fairly common in abused kids. It's the logic of you can't hurt me if I hurt you first/you can't hurt me if I don't let you get close enough)

[silent-raven13]

NO, HOBIE!

(AU: Ya'll ever read No, David? That lil fuckin' cholo silver teeth lookin ass brat? I just had a thought 😂)

Miguel shouting at the punker, who's wobbling to the edge of building, "NO, BROWN! I swear to GOD if you jump in that fucking pool of possessed Spider-people, I will kill you myself!" The last thing they needed was this ridiculous punker joining in on the chaos of all of this!

Hobie grinning widely under his mask being very tempted, and hated being told what to do. The gang were in a world where Dr. Oct created a dangerous serum that got Spider-people to do his bidding, and leaking out green salvia with their mouths morphed into Spider mouth. Seems like this Dr. Oct found a way to copy Shathra being similar to her Spider Wasp beings.

Luckily Lyla was working on a cure, while Miguel is trying to keep the gang from changing and stopping the mad-villain. However, Hobie saw the opportunity to fuck shit up as always! Why is it when Miguel always say no, there's always trouble from Spider-punk?

"Is that a threat?" Spider-Punk innocently asked with his goofy Spider-Punk mask beaming at Spider-man 2099.

Peni in her Sp//dr suit letting out a low groan, "Hobie, NO! Come on, this is serious!"

Miguel growling through his teeth. Pavtri had his hands out, "You know, Miguel doesn't mean it. Hobie, come on, my dude!"

"Brown, I am warning you!" The older Spider-man growls in anger.

"Mmm, I'm hearing a yes?" The Spider-Punk stick his long lanky leg out pretending to fall.

"NO, HOBIE! Bad! I'ma tell on Miles!" Peni shouted.

Spider-Punk quickly stood back hearing his Sunflower's name. Then, the massive urge to jump to the pile of infected people with Ace monstrous features got him pump. Those intrusive thoughts winning especially when Miguel commanded, "It's an order, Brown. Get over here, now!"

"Okay. Okay, no need to get your trousers in a mix." Hobie happily walks away at the edge hearing relief sighs, then he quickly turns back to jump down, "PSYCH! You thought!"

They all had their mouth dropped when their punker friend literally got infected all because his intrusive thoughts were in the way!

"HIJO DE SU PUTA MADRE!" Miguel cursing out loud enrage by his fellow Spider-Punk, ruining another mission just to fuck with him. The rest of the Spider-heroes saw their friend already turned into a freaky humanoid Spider causing ruckus.

"ALL FOR ANARCHY! I LOVE IT!" He shouted before he made odd growls.

"Ugh, and we needed him, too." Peni groans.

Pavtri rolled his eyes, "So what do we do now?"

"Hey guys, Miles was able to knock out Dr. Oct! How's your part of the plan going?" Gwen asked as she speaks through the intercom.

Miguel already raging at the side having to curse out in Spanish. Peni and Pavtri stood on top of the building with no luck of achieving their goal, "Yeah, about that..." Peni began.

Gwen let out a low groan, "Don't tell me... Hobie?"

"Yeah." The two sounded so bum about this outcome and exhausted.

"And Miguel?" She asked.

Pavtri answered, "He's uhhh..." Seeing his leader still ranting out loud in anger, "might need a drink later..."

"Oh god!" Gwen growls.

Then Miles' voice appeared, "What? What happened? Did the mission failed?" He had tied up the Dr. Oct variant up with metal bars. Then stood with his friend being confused.

"Guess." She sighs being exhausted.

"What did Hobie do this time?" Miles' voice already sounded drained knowing full well this was his boyfriend's doings. "Gawd, please tell he didn't jump in the infected?"

"He jumped in the infected." They all said with tiredness in their voice a bit annoyed at that.

"UGHHH! Let me go get him!" Miles groans, "Gwen, you have to go over there and help them. I'll be here and bring back Hobie since he's acting like a damn two year old!"

"Okay, be careful. Hobie might be a monster and hurt you." Gwen pointed out then chuckles, "Ha, that sounded stupid when I said that out loud."

"Then, I'll whack the shit out of him for being dumb!" Miles huffs already headed out to search for his man. Gwen went over to the other group to help them out with their goal in breaking in the building to let Lyla have control.

Meanwhile, Miles spotted his boyfriend causing a mess. "NO, HOBIE! PUT THAT DOWN!" He jump behind his boyfriend being a few inches away.

Possessed Hobie made sounds out of his mouth, this was Shathra all over again! Miles crosses his arms, "Hobie, you are in big trouble! Why did you turned into this?"

"Grr... hissssss, SsSSUNFLOWER!" His Spider-Punk happily rushes over to give him a hug knowing a familiar scent and face. His Sunflower being present had brought back his memories and focus on being his Spider-Punk self.

"Bae, you're infected! Stay put." Miles took a step back.

"NNNOOOO, Sunflower! Huuuggg meee!" He follows his boyfriend wanting affection.

Miles was able to lead his boyfriend away from the rest of the infected into the building where Dr. Oct was capture. His Spider-Punk fighting off any infected trying to get close to him, which was a good thing that infection isn't madding the punker.

Hobie snuggle his Sunflower when having the chance, "Sunflower!"

"Hobie, if you bite me, I will give you the Silent treatment." His Sunflower warned him as he types into the computer to have the building where his friends are opened up.

"Nooooooo!" He buries his face into his shoulder wanting cuddles. "Pay attention to me!"

"Okay, guys. I got it." He said through the intercom as his boyfriend became super needy.

"Alright, we're in!" Gwen answered.

After all that, the mission became a success. Lyla was able to make a cure, and had everyone turned back to normal. Miles grab his boyfriend's shirt giving him a full blown lecture, "Next time, you decided to let your intrusive thoughts get in your way, I will personally punish you, Hobie! No means No! I know, damn well you only did it to piss off Miguel."

Hobie stupidly stand with his legs a few inches apart to be on his boyfriend's level, his Spider-Punk mask being so bug eyed. "You're going to punish me, luv? Kinky."

"Oh shut up!" Miles keeping his serious attitude, "Next time, your not gonna be in a mission with me."

"Nooo, luv! Don't be so cruel!" His punker whines, seeing how much he upsetter his boyfriend. "Don't ignore me."

Miles gave him the silent treatment. Gwen slurp her slushie, "So... you think it was worth it?" She looks at Hobie.

Peni and Pavtri chuckles seeing the punker being dragged by holding on Miles' ankles. Good that what's he gets.