#I'm just a little guy and it's my birthday 🎉

[spaceratprodigy]

✨ Faith and Max | [ 🔍 AU ] ✨

it's his captain's special day and you know what that means 💖✨🎉

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[il-miele-che-scrive]

another Y/n Verstappen x Lando smau

madmax.jpg Gelukkige Verjaardag, Y/n 🎉 geniet van uw speciale dag! We've had our ups and downs but I'm overall happy that you're my little sister

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y/n_verstappen Thanks for always being there for me even when I drive you crazy 😌🩷

username1 Lando influenced Max to make a jpg account, I'm dead 😭

landonorris she's so lucky to have you as her brother

↳y/n_verstappen Excuse me?? Are you dating me or my brother?? What's up with the ass licking??

landonorris well you're a bit of a pain in the ass aren't you? max had to deal with you since you were born

y/n_verstappen If I'm such a pain in the ass how about I leave your ass alone

landonorris hey, he didn't have a choice, I chose my pain in the ass

y/n_verstappen You're on thin ice, Norris

username2 guys, mother and father are fighting on mother's birthday 😭

username1 Nahhh, no worries, that's just how they are

y/n_verstappen True, we might be a little mean to each other but we're very much in love

landonorris I totally didn't force her to say this

lewishamilton Happy birthday to Y/n! 🎂

↳username3 Oh to have Lewis Hamilton wish me a happy birthday 😩 one can dream

↳y/n_verstappen Thank you Lulu!💜

username3 AND she's calling THE Lewis Hamilton Lulu😭

username4 Probably got that from Lando 😂

danielricciardo Time flies, huh?

↳y/n_verstappen It does 😭 Max and I went from me driving him insane to me watching him driving around in circles

danielricciardo I'm sure you still drive Max insane from time to time even these days😂

madmax.jpg That's absolutely correct

username5 Max having flashbacks of the day he found out his lil sis is dating Lando lmao

y/n_verstappen At least now he got used to that idea😭

carlossainz55 Sending all the good vibes to Y/n, have a blast celebrating! 🥳🥂🎈

↳y/n_verstappen Thanks, Carlito!! 🫶

carlossainz55 I still remember how back in the days Lando would complain to me about that huge crush he had on you

y/n_verstappen Ahhh, it was just a few years ago and yet so much has happened

landonorris and I still do have a crush on her wtf

y/n_verstappen That's literally so obvious ❤️

carlossainz55 I didn't say you don't anymore, I was just saying it took you a few years to fianlly take some action

landonorris And look where it got me, it was worth the wait

francisca.cgomes Wishing you the happiest birthday Y/n! You were so adorable as a kid 🫶

↳y/n_verstappen Am I not adorable anymore? ☹️

francisca.cgomes You are! Just in a different way! You're a grown woman now

charles_leclerc Happy birthday to my favorite Verstappen

↳username6 HE DID NOT

username7 HE DID...

↳y/n_verstappen And all this time I thought Max was your favorite

charles_leclerc His constant victories killed it a bit for me

madmax.jpg You're just salty you can't keep up

charles_leclerc Sorry? I got P2 last race, each time I'm closer to beating you

madmax.jpg Keep dreaming, mr 20secs behind

lando.jpg Happy birthday to the most amazing person in my life ❤️ you deserve all the happiness in the world, I'm so lucky to have you by my side. Cheers to you, my love ❤️🥂

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maxfewtrell She's the most amazing person in your life now? 🙄

↳lando.jpg you're on the 2nd place let's say

↳y/n_verstappen Sorry not sorry <3

maxfewtrell Happy birthday by the way! Sending my best wishes

y/n_verstappen Thanks a lot 🫶

username1 THE 5TH PIC

oscarpiastri Never expected to see Lando so in love

↳y/n_verstappen Honestly I don't think he expected that himself

oscarpiastri Happy birthday, thank you for taking care of Lando!

landonorris taking care of me?

oscarpiastri Yeah! You're so different now. I guess you're finally an adult. Which now is kind of weird that I'm saying this on Y/n's bday but whatever

username1 Awwwwhhhh mr I don't wanna mature I'm happy where I am has finally matured!

y/n_verstappen All I'm doing is trying to keep him from getting too silly, but thanks for the credit!

username2 I don't know if I wanna be her or wanna be WITH her

y/n_verstappen Petition for Max to let you win this weekend since it's MY BIRTHDAY @/maxverstappen1

↳maxverstappen1 The day Lando wins I'm allowing you to get married

y/n_verstappen Pls just let him win this once

maxverstappen1 If he were fast enough he would've won

lando.jpg that's how you speak about your brother in law?

maxverstappen1 And I'd do it again

username3 I'm crying why are both Y/n and Max so aggressive

username4 That's just the Verstappen genes 🤷‍♀️

username5 Don't tell me Max saw pics nr 4, 5 and 6 and didn't say anything

↳y/n_verstappen He chose to ignore them 😌 better for him I guess

riabish You make such a great couple 😭

↳y/n_verstappen I know right 😭

riabish Anyway girls night when?

y/n_verstappen As soon as possible I guess?!?!

username6 Y/n is precious and needs to be protected at all cost

username7 I've never seen a man as in love with their gf as Lando is with Y/n

username8 She's so goofy I love her

username9 The best wag tbh, the rest is just stuck up bitches

↳y/n_verstappen EXCUSE ME?? They're all amazing women, if you hate on them don't call yourself my fan

username10 I saw Max's post and I waited for Lando to post, I am not disappointed 😂

georgerussell63 You're so in love mate

↳lando.jpg obviously, why wouldn't I be!

alex_albon You guys are a perfect couple

↳y/n_verstappen Noooo I love the vibe you and Lily have!! You're each other's wags

alex_albon I guess if you put it this way 😂

y/n_verstappen Both of my boys on the podium today!

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charles_leclerc And this time Lando didn't break Max's thropy 😂👏

↳carlossainz55 That would be too risky now that he's dating his sister 😂

landonorris You promised Max would let me win ☹️

↳y/n_verstappen I did not! You saw I had a talk with him but it didn't work out

francisca.cgomes Is that what you used your birthday wish for?

↳y/n_verstappen It just might be 🤭

username1 Should've used it for a Lando win 😭

y/n_verstappen I guess nothing can stop Max 🤷‍♀️

username2 I love seeing them both getting along 🥺

username3 Let's go Lando Lando it's okay

↳username4 Let's go Lando he is here to stay

username5 Let's go Lando he is one of us

y/n_verstappen He's racing like a lion shouldn't he be Dutch

username3 OMG Y/N FINISHING THE LYRICS

y/n_verstappen GIRL I love this song 😭 AND THE PODIUM SONG

username6 So happy to know Max isn't angry anymore 😭

↳y/n_verstappen He's... Dealing with it. We're still not allowed too much PDA around him

username7 The way people chanted Lando when the Dutch national anthem was playing lmao

↳username8 Am I delusional or was Max also mouthing the chant?

username7 HE WAS!! And Y/n in the crowd too!!

username8 Damn even the Verstappens are bored of their own anthem

username9 Y/n you looked stunning in the paddock this weekend!

↳y/n_verstappen Thank you I'm gonna blush 🤭

username10 So when are you getting married?

↳username2 Max said when Lando wins, a podium is not a win 😭

username10 That's a never I guess 😂 or at least not for as long as Max is in F1

username11 Y/n is a fangirl just like us

↳username12 Hard to not be when your brother and your boyfriend are both F1 drivers

username13 I wonder if Lando has ever talked to Jos?

↳username14 I don't think even Y/n is on speaking terms with Jos? She seems to avoid him

username5 Yeah, I've heard Jos tried to fix the relationship with his daughter but Y/n doesn't want it

username14 Queen behavior tbh

username12 Not really queen behavior. If not Jos, Max wouldn't win a single championship

username14 I'm sure abusing helped build up his career

username12 What abusing? Jos is a strict father, not a psycho

username14 "My father once stabbed a mechanic's hand with a fork 😁" and don't even get me started on Jos leaving Max alone at a gas station

alex_albon Look at the 5th photo!

↳charles_leclerc They're so cute together aren't they?

landonorris I think you meant the 4th?

alex_albon Nope 😊 pretty sure I meant the 5th

y/n_verstappen Lando and Max together are precious 🫶

username15 now... do we call them Maxando or Lax?

↳y/n_verstappen I vote for Maxando🖐️

landonorris yeah lol Lax sounds like short for laxative

y/n_verstappen I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty two

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francisca.cgomes Seems like a perfect night to make fun of our exes 🥂

↳username1 Uhhhh Kika? Are you and Pierre alright?

username2 They are lol that's just the lyrics

yourfriend1 Beach birthday party ☑ one thing less on the bucket list

username3 I need to know if any drivers where there

↳username1 Seems like a girly gathering from the photos

username3 Girly gathering is such a fun term, I'm gonna steal it

↳y/n_verstappen Just a few of them 👀

username3 LIKE WHO??

username4 I bet Lando

username3 Probably I guess? But that's one and she said a few

username4 I guess she won't tell us 😭

landonorris gorgeous as always ❤️

↳y/n_verstappen I love you ❤️‍🔥

landonorris love you more baby

y/n_verstappen Not possible, I already love you the most

maxfewtrell That's so cringe

alex_albon @/carlossainz55 what have you done 😩

carlossainz55 I'm proud of what I've done, I think their cringe is adorable

username3 So it was Carlos who played matchmaker between Y/n and Lando!

yourfriend1 I'll never thank Carlos enough, Y/n is so happy with Lando 😭

username2 I guess all we can do is be happy for them, even if they're cringy sometimes

username5 Oh look, Jos claimed to be trying to fix his family issues and yet he never wished Y/n a happy birthday, I didn't see him comment anywhere

↳username2 Are we surprised tho? Disappointed maybe, but surprised? Nope

↳y/n_verstappen Hey, the daddy issues made me a cool person. And also made Max a 3 times world champion which is also nice, but I guess I was more lucky here

username2 I LOVE YOU GIRL 😭🫶

maxverstappen1 Soon 4 times

y/n_verstappen You know even you're bored of it

maxverstappen1 Papa didn't raise no bitch

y/n_verstappen I know that, Max, I know...

y/n_verstappen I'm in love with this man🗣️it was my birthday recently, so pls win a race for me

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landonorris you know that does not depend on me🙄

↳maxverstappen1 That's not a world champion mindset🙄

y/n_verstappen Shut up for once and let him win!!!

maxverstappen1 If he wants to win he has to fight for it!!!

y/n_verstappen He's trying!!!

maxverstappen1 Apparently not hard enough

username1 Imagine being such a bad driver your gf has to beg her brother to let you win

username2 What? It's all jokes, you gotta be stupid to think they're being for real in these comments

oscarpiastri Lando should start wearing orange bows more often

↳y/n_verstappen I know right?! He looks so babygirl

landonorris can you not? that's enough that I let you post that last picture

oscarpiastri Calm down mate, the anger takes away your beauty 🥺

username3 Why's everyone making fun of Lando here?😭

carlossainz55 Didn't know you're such a talented photographer 📸

↳landonorris I could've taught her a thing or two😌

y/n_verstappen Wow, you were so quick to comment huh

landonorris just in case if you forgot to mention this

y/n_verstappen Carlos commented a minute ago?!?!

landonorris you had whole 60 seconds to say it and you didn't! someone had to

username2 Lando is such a baby 😭

y/n_verstappen Maybe. But MY baby.

username4 Do I want a gf like Y/n or a bf like Lando?

↳username5 I want both and I would take them both if I ever got a chance

username6 Hey so I need to know if Lando's dutch has improved since he's been dating Y/n?

↳y/n_verstappen He thinks he made soooo much progress, but that's a lie

landonorris Ik heet Lando :) ik hou van Y/n <3

y/n_verstappen Good! That's literally the basics!

username6 Isn't that really all he needs to know?🥰

y/n_verstappen Let's say it's alright for now 😌

charles_leclerc You teaching dutch to Lando reminds me of Arthur and I teaching you french😂

↳y/n_verstappen Except I'm a quicker learner

landonorris and somehow I've never heard you speak french 🤔

charles_leclerc She's traumatized ☹️

y/n_verstappen Yes I am ☹️ learning french in school was a nightmare and the Leclercs made me experience it again, it was lovely

charles_leclerc You're welcome 😊

landonorris now I understand it all, she's projecting her trauma onto me now

maxverstappen1 She's an evil woman isn't she?

landonorris the most evil, definitely

username7 HELP ME GUYS I've imagined Y/n teaching Lando dutch with the same passion Jos pushed Max into driving 😭 it's way too funny in my head

↳username6 Great! In a few years Lando should be fluent then! 😂

↳username8 Y/n is her father's daughter after all 💀

username9 Guys, remember the time Max corrected a french guy to "bonsoir" when he said bonjour? 😭

↳username6 bonsoir ☝️🤓

↳y/n_verstappen As he should! Sometimes you gotta correct even the native speakers

maxverstappen1 At least I can speak french

y/n_verstappen Me too!! Een beetje

landonorris wow it must be een very tiny beetje

[cutielando]

when in vegas | l.n.

social media au

synopsis: in which they shouldn't be left alone when in Vegas

my masterlist

liked by yourusername, alex_albon and 3,291,574 others

landonorris Vegas baby tagged: yourusername

view all 392,184 comments

yourusername i love traveling with you <3

landonorris i love you 🫶🏻

mclaren Let's go!🧡 liked by yourusername and landonorris

mclaren also, please, BEHAVE - PR team

landonorris we'll try

yourusername i'll keep him under control

landonorris you'll be too busy to think about that 😈😈😈😈

mclaren LANDO

alex_albon please be good

landonorris not making any promises

yourusername sorry alex 🫣

oscarpiastri ...my room is next to yours...

yourusername 🫣🫣🫣

landonorris i suggest earplugs 🤭

oscarpiastri ...

charles_leclerc someone should watch over you two

yourusername not you, that's for sure

charles_leclerc why not?

landonorris you're worse than we are

charles_leclerc ...true

adam_norris_pure_electric good luck, my boy!!

landonorris thanks dad ❤️

ciscanorris take care of him yourusername

yourusername i will!!! ❤️

user1 you just know they are going to be WILD

user2 I cannot wait for the content abut these two

user3 THE COMMENTS

user4 they’re spending his birthday in Vegas together i’m not well 😭😭😭

user3 my man is getting LUCKY

maxfewtrell you seem to have lost my invite. again

landonorris nah, i just didn't want you here

yourusername babe, be nice please

maxfewtrell this is him being nice.. some friend you are

landonorris ;)

user5 max and lando bickering like siblings will forever be my favorite thing in the world

user6 NOT MCLAREN LITERALLY SCOLDING HIM HAHAHA

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri and 2,974,186 others

yourusername being by your side and watching you do what you love the most has been my greatest accomplishment. i am so proud of everything that you do and i'm forever thankful that you chose me to be a part of your journey. happy 24th birthday baby, i love you so much and i cannot wait to see what the future holds for us ❤️ tagged: landonorris

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landonorris i wouldn't even think about doing life with anybody else. i love you so much 😩❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️

landonorris can’t wait to party with you tonight 😈

yourusername BEHAVE

landonorris 😈no

mclaren Happy birthday, Lando! We are proud of everything you do and we hope to continue being your family for many more years to come. Cheers! 🧡🧡

landonorris thank you 🧡

oscarpiastri happy birthday, mate. take it easy tonight

landonorris never 😈

oscarpiastri 🥲

yourusername i’ll keep him under control, don’t worry

landonorris you’ll be too busy to do that 😈😈

oscarpiastri THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS APP

georgerussell63 happy birthday, mate! 🥳 can’t wait to crush you on the track

landonorris thanks mate. you wish you had my pace

georgerussell63 your ego is through the roof

yourusername so is yours

user1 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVORITE DRIVER 🧡🧡🧡🧡 WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH

user2 he’s all grown up 🥹🥹

user3 i remember when he was just a little guy starting out in F1 and now look at him 😭😭😭😭

user4 he’s so fine and talented and just UGH SO PERFECT 😩😩😩 happy birthday king 🥳🥳

user5 i love their relationship so much ❤️❤️ she keeps him grounded and he’s so much happier now

maxverstappen1 happy birthday 🎉 can’t wait to get drunk tonight

landonorris 😈😈😈😈

yourusername oh Jesus

kellypiquet we’re in for a very long night

charles_leclerc i heard there’s a party?

landonorris you’re not invited

charles_leclerc :(

yourusername don’t listen to him, you’re invited and we’d love it if you came 😊

landonorris we would?

yourusername shut up

charles_leclerc yay!! 🥳🥳

mclaren if someone could please keep an eye on them, we would really appreciate it - PR team

carlossainz55 consider it done

landonorris we’re not children, you know

mclaren you certainly act like children

yourusername they’re kinda right, you know…

landonorris shh

maxfewtrell happy birthday mate. looks like you made it another year

landonorris thanks. you know you can't get rid of me

maxfewtrell no matter how hard i try

liked by f1wags, yoursister and 28,473 others

formula1gossip MARRIAGE ALERT⁉️⁉️ Reports are saying that Lando Norris and long-time girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have tied the knot last night during his birthday bash in Las Vegas? What do you guys think? 👀

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user1 tbh i hope it's true, they're amazing together😩

user2 i saw yoursister in the likes 👀👀👀👀

user3 yoursister GIRL WHAT DO YOU KNOW🫣

yoursister i know nothing

user3 SUCH A LIAR HAHAHA I LOVE IT🥲

mclaren sigh...🥲

user5 BAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS AMAZING

user6 this is basically the confirmation we needed

user7 i suddenly understand why everyone keeps saying they are the biggest PR nightmare 😭😭

user8 this is the most Lando thing ever

user5 for real, like this seems the kind of wedding Lando would have

user4 i can just imagine the earful Cisca is probably giving the both of them for doing this 😭😭😭

user2 she is so gonna tear them a new one hahahaha

liked by georgerussell63, ciscanorris and 4,291,857 others

yourusername & landonorris we got married last night. we don't remember much, but it was the best decision we have ever made. grateful to be starting this journey together ❤️

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mclaren Congratulations!!🧡

landonorris thanks admin 😊

yourusername also, we're sorry for the nightmare we've caused the PR department 🫢

mclaren you're cute, we'll let this one slide - PR team

georgerussell63 wild night, but happy for you guys ❤️ liked by yourusername and landonorris

maxverstappen1 i don't even remember this happening

yourusername you were drunker than everyone, you couldn't even remember your name 😂

maxverstappen1 that's not true 😠

kellypiquet you danced naked in front of the wedding venue singing "Viva Las Vegas"

alex_albon for 20 minutes straight

landonorris not the sight I wanted to remember from that night

georgerussell63 me too

alex_albon me 3

charles_leclerc me 4

carlossainz55 me 5

maxverstappen1 OK I GET IT

ciscanorris my children ❤️ you're lucky i love you

yourusername we're sorry ❤️❤️ we promise to have a proper wedding when we get back

landonorris anything for the Mrs.

yourusername 🤭OH

oscarpiastri congrats guys, thanks for taking it easy on me last night with the noise 🥳

landonorris we were too drunk

yourusername you got off easy, pastry

oscarpiastri a win is still a win

user not both of them bullying poor oscar 😭😭

alex_albon never thought you would be the first one of us to get married

yourusername we didn’t either

landonorris what can i say, i love surprising people

maxfewtrell you guys getting married was definitely not on my bucket list for the year

yourusername but you loved it nonetheless

maxfewtrell i'm just grateful you got him to settle down

landonorris she is something else

yourusername 🤭

user1 YAYAYAYAYAAY 😩😩😩

user2 MY FAVORITE COUPLE GOT MARRIED 😭😭

user3 they are so precious 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

user4 CONGRATS ❤️❤️❤️

user5 our favorite WAG is officially HERE TO STAY ❤️❤️

yoursister mom is mad you got married without us

yourusername i’m sorry :((

landonorris kinda my fault, but don’t worry. we’ll have a proper wedding soon!!

yourmother you better.

yourusername MOM, be nice to your son-in-law

yourmother don’t push it, young lady

landonorris yes ma’am 🫡🫡

francisca.cgomes a truly wonderful night 🥳 CONGRATULATIONS DARLINGS!!!❤️❤️❤️

yourusername we love you !!! ❤️

lilymhe i’m sorry i couldn’t be there, but i’m really happy for you guys !! ❤️

yourusername don’t worry, you’ll come to our other wedding ❤️

user6 imagine saying OTHER WEDDING 😩😩

user7 i cannot wait to see their wedding 😭😭❤️

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 381,573 others

mclaren Mr. and Mrs. Norris everyone! Even though their wedding came as a surprise to us as well, we could never be mad at these two! 🧡 tagged: yourusername and landonorris

view all 98,481 comments

yourusername we love you guys !! 🧡🧡

landonorris thanks for the papaya post-wedding cake

mclaren was it delicious?

yourusername it was 🤩

user1 not McLaren posting them 😭😭

user2 they are just one big happy family🥹🥹

user3 MY PARENTS😩❤️❤️

charles_leclerc you're so milking this wedding

landonorris fame is fame

yourusername excuse me? 😠

charles_leclerc great job making her mad from day 2

landonorris you know i didn't mean it like that babe !!

yourusername you're treading on thin ice, mister

georgerussell63 how did y/n, the down-to-earth one, agree to this?

yourusername vodka might have been involved in my decision making process 🤐

landonorris and my good looks also played a part

georgerussell63 good to know that's all it takes

carmenmmundt don't get any ideas

maxfewtrell where is my slice of cake?

landonorris lost in the mail

maxfewtrell ...

yourusername don't worry max, i saved you a slice

landonorris i thought that was extra for me :((

maxfewtrell get your head out of your arse for once, mate

mclaren we'll get you another cake landonorris

user4 the way he has the McLaren staff wrapped around his little finger amazes me 🫣

user5 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND😭😭😭😭😭

liked by pietrapilao, mclaren and 8,392,817 others

yourusername & landonorris due to popular demand, we present to you, again, Mr. and Mrs. Norris

view all 982,175 comments

mclaren Congratulations guys!🧡🧡 liked by yourusername and landonorris

ciscanorris beautiful wedding, we love you so much❤️❤️❤️

yourusername we love you guys too !!!! thank you for making our day special🫶🏻🫶🏻

maxfewtrell great wedding, glad to see i was invited to this one at least

landonorris don’t be condescending

yourusername sorry maxie :)) you know we love you

charles_leclerc beautiful wedding, well done y/n 👏

yourusername thank you charles <3

landonorris i helped too...

charles_leclerc sure you did

carlossainz55 very beautiful ceremony, i loved the cake particularly 🫣

landonorris you thought bringing a Ferrari-themed wedding cake to my wedding was a good idea?

yourusername i thought it was delicious

carlossainz55 i rest my case

user1 SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I’M SOBBING 😭😭😭😭🥹😭🥹🥹🥹

user2 seeing him so happy makes me want to cry 😭❤️❤️❤️

zbrownceo Congratulations to my boy Lando, I hope you and Y/N have a wonderful life together!🧡

landonorris thank you zak 🧡🧡

yourusername we appreciate everything you’ve done for us Zak!!🧡

zbrownceo Thank you for taking care of our boy 🧡

user3 ZAK CALLING LANDO “HIS BOY” 😭😭

user4 YOUR HONOR, you don’t understand how in love i am with them 🥹🥹🥹

maxverstappen1 thankfully i remember this wedding

yourusername thank you for making an effort max

landonorris surprising on all fronts

francisca.cgomes OMG YOU LOOKED SO GOOD 😭😭😭 so grateful to have been by your side on your special day ❤️❤️

yourusername OH MY LOVE ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for everything you did for me ❤️❤️❤️

lilymhe truly such a magical night ❤️❤️ so happy for you guys

yourusername thank you lils ❤️❤️

alex_albon i still can't believe you're married

landonorris bro, we've had 2 weddings, you better start believing

yourusername stop living in denial, alex

yoursister ❤️❤️❤️ if he hurts you, i will fight him

yourusername he won't. if he does, i'll fight him myself

landonorris ...so much violence...

user5 i can now die happy❤️

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[masonmyluv]

Birthday present - Pedri Gonzalez

A/N: A little something I wrote for his bday🤭 Happy birthday to this cutie aka Pedri Potter Gonzalez Lopez 💙🎉

Warnings: smut 18+ 🔞🔞🔞

"Pablo, I told you I don't want to celebrate"

"But it's your birthday!"

"We have an important game tomorrow" Pedri said. "So? We should at least sing you happy birthday" Pablo said, dragging Pedri inside the locker room. Pablo double-checked your text earlier, saying that you landed safely and were about to pick the cake.

"Happy birthday!!!" Everyone yelled when Pedri entered the room. "Yeah thanks guys" he smiled. "Happy birthday my guy" Ferran said, hugging him. "W-what..." Pedri was at loss of words when he noticed you behind Ferran's back. "Surprise" you giggled. "How... you..." he was at loss of words as he pulled you into a tight hug. "I feel betrayed" Ferran joked. "Missed you" Pedri whispered into your neck. "Missed you too, my love" you said, pecking his lips. "Happy" kiss "birthday" kiss "to the best" kiss "boyfriend" kiss "in the world" kiss.

"Okay get a room" Ferran shouted. "You brought cake?" Pedri asked. "Yes, and everyone is allowed to eat" Xavi said, already on his second slice, which he thought no one saw, but you did. Hehe. Everyone sat down, eating cake, all except Pedri. He was looking at you and playing with your fingers. "You okay? The cake is really good" you said, mouth full of cake. "Yeah... just happy you're here" he said, kissing the top of your head. "You don't seem really happy" Pablo butted in. "Tomorrow I'll be at the game wearing your t-shirt" you whispered. "And tomorrow I'll give you the other present" you added so that no one could hear. "Now he's smiling" Pablo smirked. "I wonder what you told him". "Nothing" Pedri replied too fast. "Mhm" Pablo said. You shot him a look, but couldn't be mad at him. After all, he was the one who helped you plan the surprise for your boyfriend, so you were thankful to have a friend like him.

—— day of the game ——

"Good luck, guapo" you whispered, kissing him passionately. "Mhm... don't want to let you go" he said, hands squeezing your ass. "Get a room" Ferran shouted. "I promise. Tonight" you said, pecking his lips again. Little did he know you will be busy that night, but not in the sexy way.

After the game, in which he scored, you were on your way to his place. "Are you okay? You don't seem that excited after a goal" you asked. You knew something was wrong with him since you kissed him after the game. Usually, he would talk you through the whole game, but now he was surprisingly quiet. "No, sorry, I really am. But..." he said. "I wish my parents were here. And Fer. He didn't even wish me happy birthday" he said and you could cry in that moment, telling him that they were waiting for him at home. "Oh Pedri, I'm sure he will" you said, texting Fer that you were on the way. This man, this man right here made your ovaries explode at how much he cared about his family. "I wish they were at the game too. Together with you. Supporting me. But they said they were too busy to fly here" he said thought greeted teeth. You bit your tongue, not wanting to ruin the surprise, but he was making it hard. Fucking ovaries, slow down. "They said they'll come in the weekend, no?" You asked. "Yeah, but it's not the same thing" he said defeated, parking the car. "Hey... look at me. It's your birthday and they love you, I'm sure they have something for you" you said, pecking his lips. "I hope you're right".

"Sorpresaaaa!!!"

Pedri remained like a statue in the door when he saw his family inside his house. "Don't you think we forgot about your birthday, you fucking idiot!" Fer said, hugging his brother. "You're an idiot" he repeated, fighting his little brother. Pedri then went to hug his parents. "If it wasn't for Y/N..." Fer said, bringing his attention back to you. "It was her idea. All this. And we were her accomplices" Fer grinned. Pedri ran to hug you tightly, whispering just how much he loves you. "I love you too, guapo. Now, let's celebrate" you said as Fer handed you a glass of champagne.

You talked with his mom about the match, then Pedri was curious how they couldn't make it to the game. Their flight got delayed, but you had this brilliant idea to wait for him home. "Wow... my girlfriend is really special, isn't she?" Pedri said, kissing the top of your head. "And now she'll say oh no, I didn't do anything" Ferran said, imitating your voice. "Hey!" You pouted, but still laughed at his joke.

"Hey! Where is the birthday boy?" Ferran asked after you had dinner. The birthday boy was sucking his girlfriend's face in the kitchen. "Tell me they aren't sleeping here" Pedri asked, sucking on your neck. "No. They're staying at Fer. Be patient, Pedri" you said, pushing him away. "I want you, amor" he whispered. "I know. I want to properly wish you a happy birthday too" you said, hugging him. "Ah he's here, where else he could be?" Fer said, seeing your flushed faces. "Slow down, cabron. We'll leave in a minute" Fer said. You bid your goodbyes to his family, promising to have breakfast with them in the city. "If you won't be busy" Fer winked before the left.

"Finally" Pedri said, hungrily kissing you. "Pedri... stop" you said, pushing him away. "What? Did I do something?" He asked panicked. "No, I just want to properly give you my present" you giggled, taking his hand and running to your shared bedroom. "Just wait here and be naked" you winked before disappearing into the bathroom to put on the new set of lingerie you bought special for this occasion. Meanwhile, Pedri undressed himself until his boxers, impatiently waiting for you. "You ready?" You asked from the bathroom. "Yeah..." he replied instantly.

"Fuck baby... I could come in my pants right now" he groaned, as you cat walked to him, pushing him down on the mattress. "What do you like more, Papi?" You asked, pulling his boxers down and eyeing him up and down. "Fuck me" he groaned as you sat on his thigh. "What do you like, Papi?". "Those panties, princess. I can feel you dripping on me" he smirked and you blushed. "Let me make you feel good, papi" you said, kneeling in front of him. "You wanna suck me? Come get it" he smirked as you lowered your lips to brush against his tip. He shuddered as you lips wrapped around him. "Looks so good princess. My cock into your pretty mouth" he said. When he hit the back of your throat, you both let out a moan. "Fuck baby... just like that" he praised, fucking your face. Your nails dug into his thighs, leaving marks behind, but he didn't care. He wanted you to mark him up for everyone to see.

"Let me give you your present Papi" you pouted when he pulled out of your mouth. "Wanna come inside your pussy, baby. Now lay back and relax" he said, dipping his head into your core. "But Papi, it's supposed to be about you tonight" you moaned as he pleasured you with his tongue. "It's also about you, mi amor" he said. "Giving me, hm, let's say, 5 orgasms" he said. "It's too much, Papi" you moaned, already close to the first one. "I know you can. You're my good girl" he said, sucking harshly on your clit, triggering your orgasm. "Fuck Pedri..." you moaned when he pushed a finger inside. "So sweet for me, love" he praised, seeing how you closed your eyes in pleasure when he added another finger into your hole. "F-fuck..." you moaned again, his fingers brushing your G-spot. "Orgasm number 2 incoming" he chuckled as you rode his fingers and came.

"Papi please fuck me" you said as he teased your hole with the tip of his dick. "I'll fuck you so good, baby... you won't be able to walk tomorrow" he said. "Good thing you have the day free" you said as he pushed all the way in. "So tight and warm" he praised, moving a little to test the waters. But after two orgasms, you were more than ready to take him, so he thrusted harder. While he fucked your cunt, he suck on your breasts, pleasuring your hardening nipples while you were a moaning mess. "Orgasm number 3... let go, love" he said and you moaned louder as you came on his dick. He pulled out, waiting for you to regain your breath before flipping you on your stomach. "Pepi... can't" you whined as he helped you on all fours. "I know you can" he said, harshly slapping your ass. "You're my good good girl" he said, plunging himself back into you. You moaned, over sensitive, his dick feeling much deeper as he fucked you from behind. "Papi... fuck..." you moaned as he continued slapping your ass. "Take it like a good girl" he groaned and you could feel his breath on your neck. "You're doing so good for the birthday boy" he praised, pressing a kiss to your ear. "Only for you, Pedri" you moaned, feeling another orgasm coming. "Yes, baby, only I can fuck you like this" he groaned as he felt you clenching again. "Let go when you're ready, love" he whispered. You cried as you came and he spilled himself into you, breathing heavily. He didn't pull out right away and you knew why. You squirted all over him, your wetness dripping down your legs. He finally pulled away, helping you on your back as you were too embarrassed of what just happened. "I'm... I'm sorry" you shuttered, seeing what a mess you made on the bed. "Love, hey... that's the best present you could've given me" he said, pecking your lips. "I'm helping you clean yourself yeah?" He asked and you nodded, him bringing a wet cloth to wipe everything off.

"The best present ever" he said as you laid your head on his chest. "Happy birthday, Pedri. Love you so much" you yawned. "Love you too, baby. You still have to give me one orgasm, so don't forget about that" he chuckled. "Of course, Pepi. But I have to rest, you know" you said, blushing. "I know" he smirked. "Night Pepi" you said, falling asleep on his chest as he played with your hair. "Night, love" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

— next morning —

"Mhmm Pedri" you moaned as his head was between your legs again. "Pedri!" "What?" He asked. "We had to have breakfast with your parents" you said as he continued pleasuring you with his tongue. "I'm having my breakfast right now" he smirked, licking your wetness. "Fuck... we'll go after this" you moaned. "If you're able to walk, love" he grinned. "Pedri... fuck" you moaned as you came on his face. "And that's the fifth orgasm. You're welcome" he grinned, hugging you. "Te amo, Papi" you whispered. "Still want to go?" He asked. "No" you yawned, cuddling into his chest. "Good. Prepare for a lot of teasing from Ferran" he laughed. "I don't care when I have you" you mumbled. "I know. Me neither. Plus, he's jealous he ain't got a chick in his bed" he joked. "Good thing you have" you replied. "I have a girlfriend and that's even better" he said, pecking your lips.

Hope you like it 🩷

[rhey-007]

The Mystery of Love

Fernando Alonso family fluff

|| P7 of Fernando Alonso x goth mommy!reader

• | social media au

Summary: You and Fernando finally make your relationship public.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, family fluff, female reader

A/N: Enjoy another part of The Mystery of Love. I know I was supposed to post it two weeks ago but I felt like shit and didn't manage to finish it... 😔 And I have to stop promising things, ik no one read them but still.

If you'd like to be added to the tag list let me know! ☺

Masterlist

‧͙⁺˚*･༓🌟༓･*˚⁺‧͙

‧͙⁺˚*･༓🥀 INSTAGRAM 🥀༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, maxverstappen1, landonorris and 15,824 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial

•y/n._.l/n: finally managed to convince •fernandoalo_oficial for some dress up! 🤭🥰

•user1: Nando as a goth is something we all needed 😍

•user2: you guys slayed, as always!

•user3: real life Morticia and Gomes! 💞

•landonorris: DAMN! grandpa looking good!

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: language!

→ •landonorris: sorry 🤭😋

→ •user3: Nando definitely mad over grandpa not damn lol

•user4: now the only thing we need is a goth family photo shoot! 😍

•user5: you're too old for this, it's just childish

→ •user6: oh shut up you know nothin

→ •user7: they're adults they can dress however they want

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☃️ INSTAGRAM ☃️༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by mickkschumacher, y/n._.l/n and 958 others

tagged: fernandoalo_official, y/n._.l/n, lance_stroll

•kl.au_s: ⛷️🏂🏔

•mickkschumacher: beautiful! next time I'm going with ya!

→ •user7: MICK NO!

→ •user8: HAVE YOU NOT LEARNT ANYTHING???

→ •user9: Fernando hasn't either....

→ •user10: no driver had.....

•lance_stroll: and to thinks pops still has strength for skiing 🤔

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: what are you talking about, I have lots of energy not only for skiing 😉

→ •kl.au_s: 💀

‧͙⁺˚*･༓🌱 INSTAGRAM 🌱༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by sebastianvettel, fernandoalo_oficial and 85,256 others

tagged: fernandoalo_official, y/n._.l/n, kl.au_s

•aussiegrit: a little trip with friends 😃🏕🚴

•kl.au_s: UNCLE MARK NOOO BSJDHJRNDLSF

→ •aussiegrit: did I do something wrong? 😔

→ •user11: uncle?

→ •user12: just wait and he'll call Nando dad

•user13: IS THAT FERNANDO AND Y/N KISSING IN THE BACKGROUND???

→ •user14: oh my god it is!

•user15: 🚨SPOILER ALERT🚨

→ •user16: Markie definitely should've put a spoiler alert 🫠

•user16: not Mark leaking what everyone already knew 😭

‧͙⁺˚*･༓🍷 INSTAGRAM 🍷༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by aussiegrit, jensonbutton and 10,985 others

tagged: fernandoalo_official, kl.au_s, aussiegrit, jensonbutton, landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, lance_stroll

•y/n._.l/n: I'm not a fan of big birthday parties but I couldn't be more grateful for Fernie and the boys throwing a HUUUGE dinner just for me and accept me and my sons into their racing family. I love all of you, but especially my boo Fernando 🥰💞 Thank you once again!

(ans please don't come for Mark, he tried his best :) )

•user17: FINALLY

•user18: couldn't you announce it earlier? It was so obvious from the very beginning

→ •user19: chill, maybe they just didn't feel like it

•user20: exactly, not everyone has to be ready for something like this right away

•jensonbutton: for what this announcement? 🤨didn't everyone already know?

→ •y/n._.l/n: 🤦‍♀️

•susiewolff: Congrats on finally getting the courage to tell the world! 💞

•aussiegrit: amazing party!

→ •landonorris: of course it was! after all I was the one who organized it 💅

→ •carlossainz55: oi! you didn't do it alone! > : (

→ •maxverstappen1: exactly!

→ •oscarpiastri: kids calm down 🙄

→ •y/n._.l/n: exactly.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓🍾 INSTAGRAM 🍾༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by y/n._.l/n, carlossainz55 and 105,627 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n, kl.au_s, aussiegrit, jensonbutton, carlossains55, oscarpiastri, landonorris, lance_stroll

•fernandoalo_oficial: sweet 40 🤭🥳🎉💝

•aussiegrit: best party ever!

•user21: that looks so fun 😭😩

•user22: Y/N looking exceptionally good! 💗

→ •user23: as she always does 😍👑

•y/n._.l/n: thank you baby! ☺😘

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: everything for you honey~ ❤

‧͙⁺˚*･༓💘 INSTAGRAM 💘༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lilimhe and 17,256 others

tagged: fernandoalo_official

•y/n._.l/n: I'm so glad I've met you 💞

•lilimhe: yes mama!!! you two are so cuuuute!

→ •y/n._.l/n: you and Alex too!!! 😘

→ •alex_albon: of course we are! 😁 <3

•fernandoalo_oficial: I'm glad I met you too mi gusanito ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 (my little bug)

→ •y/n._.l/n: 🥰

→ •kl.au_s: 🤢🤮

→ •y/n._.l/n: KLAUS!

→ •kl.au_s: 🫣

→ •user23: not Klaus ruining this cute moment xD

‧͙⁺˚*･༓💋 INSTAGRAM 💋༓･*˚⁺‧͙

liked by y/n._.l/n, sebastianvettel and 156,256 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n

•fernandoalo_oficial: mi vida, mi alma, mi amor, mi hermosa, mi cariño 💘 (my life, my soulmate, my love, my beautiful, my sweety)

•kl.au_s: I swear to God you guys are GROSS 💀

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: could say the same bout you and Bluebell 🧍‍♀️

→ •kl.au_s: oh shut up, at least we ain't kissing everywhere we go >:(

•landonorris: I think I'm to young for such photos...

•maxverstappen1: jeez pops calm down! we know you love her!

•user24: that is a really nice photoshoot

→ •user25: those photos gonna be def used in fanfics XD

•sebasrianvettel: so happy for you two!

‧͙⁺˚*･༓🌟༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Tag list: @morgan-getty @lichterfee @ashy-kit @champomiel

[koinotame]

word count: 1.7K content warnings: general yandere content warnings and allusions to nsfw/sex but nothing super explicit

summary: it's your birthday!!!! what it's like celebrating with my ocs

a/n: i can now legally drink in a country i'll never visit 🎉 + bc i'm feeling nice another sneak peek of the new guys as well

gacha isekai group:

first prince: only finds out after your birthday has passed because he's still doing the hot and cold act and genuinely breaks down crying. is lucid enough to realise maybe you're trying to be discreet so only hosts an elaborate dinner for the two of you instead of a national banquet and a barrage of gifts he think you'd enjoy

first hero: terrible gift giver who spends the entire day fussing over you. holds open doors, carries all your things, flexes when you ask because you like his muscles even if he's burning from how embarrassed he is, reminds you you could do anything to him and he'd still love you forever and ever and ever and— and so on

second hero: between the fact that you're almost definitely already overwhelmed from your entire harem and you treat (unfortunately most of your harem and not just) him like an object anyway, he doesn't dare get close on the actual day. a couple days later he just kind of silently presses something small but meaningful into your hands and wishes you a happy belated birthday. you pat him on the head dismissively and send his stomach soaring, but you look happy with it so it was worth spending his entire month's salary on

vampire: shows up in your bedroom in the morning dressed in basically nothing except a rose in his mouth and offers himself to you. he's your toy any day anyway but you can make extra use of him today… when this doesn't land he's distraught and attempts to make it up to you by buying you some really extravagant tools or materials you'll make use of

werewolf: doesn't have much to offer, so… you mentioned you were interested in seeing his true form a while ago, right? do you… want to see that now? he'd tower over you like this if he wasn't so busy rolling up at your feet and showing you his tummy. you can take him out on a walk with a leash, humanoid or true form, but to be fair you could do that any day

playboy: his gifts are surprisingly practical; think something like a water canteen or some very soft, very fluffy towels. he takes you out on a little tea party date as well, ready with all your favourite pastries, then offers to play and/or sing you a couple songs. overall focuses on giving you a nice, calm couple hours, partially because he loves you and partially because he's trying to cement himself as the better, more thoughtful option lol

immortal: brings you breakfast and surprises you with several hand sewn, incredibly sturdy and very much your style pieces of clothing. since your own had been getting a little ragged, and you complimented his sewing once… see, this one's even in the style of your clothes from back home! seeing how you've been homesick lately, he thought he could alleviate that a little for you. and if you'd really like him to, he could give you a kiss as a gift too…

living doll: since they don't technically have any living expenses, the army just kind of… doesn't pay them… so they don't have much to work with for gifts and frankly they don't really get the point of celebrating something like the day you were born on, but they let you dress them up really nicely and offers to match so they can at least make you look better throughout the day

lab experiment: gives you a handwritten light collection (it's a whole book) of poems and little pieces of art they've made of and/or for you. the contents are kind of concerning but the gesture is really sweet. also gets you some pressed flowers and your favourite treats, then ends up rushing back to their room to hide because they're worried none of this is enough for you

mage's apprentice: spends the week before your birthday asking you strange questions and hiding away in their atelier. you don't see much of them on the actual day until the evening when they shakily wish you a happy birthday and drag you out to the gardens, where they've prepared a special fireworks show just for you

disgraced god: doesn't know it's your birthday at first because the concept is kind of entirely foreign to them, but is not about to be outshined by the rest of your harem. they're always at your beck and call anyway, but they make sure to up the doting (and monopolise you as much as possible) to the max on your special day

servant: it's not really his intention, but he ends up coming off as if he's trying to prove what a good husband he'd make to you. he gets you some trinkets you've been eyeing for a while, but also some of the officials who'd been giving you a hard time recently have seemingly vanished off the face of the world and he seems extra proud of himself today…

otome game group:

crown prince: national banquet!!! no i'm serious he throws an incredibly extravagant banquet for you. his father isn't super pleased about the misuse of funds but allows it since the two of you will be married soon anyway. gets you so many gifts it's a little scary. at least one of those is a collar and leash he wants you to put around his neck and absolutely wants you to dig in to him

heroine: doesn't really have the financial means to get you much, so instead she invites you to meet her family and spend the day in her house. apologises for how it's not much but expresses how happy she is that you're willing to spend the day with her and makes sure to cook all your favourites

villainess: invites you to spend the entire week surrounding your birthday at her estate, and then spends literally every single day celebrating your birthday, including daily banquets and a massive pile of gifts. expressing worry that this is too much just makes her go harder, because clearly you don't understand how important you are to her and spoiling you more will fix this

1: not to worry! he's already chased off your three persistent noble suitors, so you can spend all day at your own leisure. and if you're upset—either at the hassle with the other three, or at his actions—well, you can always take it out on him? he's already always there, but like today he really turns up the doting. overjoyed when you push him out of the way while pulling on his hair at one point

2: pools together some of his savings to buy you a nice piece of jewellery. presents it to you shyly when you have a moment to yourself and offers to take you out to a restaurant if you're willing to sneak out… or you can have him in the comfort of your bedroom, if you'd like

3: just kind of shows up at your estate with a bouquet, a couple handmade plushies in what they hope are your favourite animals and some blessed protective charms. if they have reason to believe you'd react well, they might as well just straight up offer themself. not in a sexual way (unless you want it to be), you just own every part of them already so if it pleases you you might as well make it official

4: playing 4d chess with the crown prince and villainess to ensure she's the only one who gets to celebrate with you on your birthday. takes you out on a fun day to the capital, where she gets to buy you tons of gifts and also play the role of your personal princely knight

5: can't take the day off (spends a long time bemoaning this) but since it's customary for you to stop by his place of work for your birthday anyway he decides he'll just give you your gift then. gives you a very professional congratulatory speech, a slightly less professional brooch set that fits you to a t, and (if he thinks you'll react positively) a considerably less professional offer for you to be the one to give him nipple piercings

misc group:

house husband: makes you take the day off work to spend it doting on you. you best believe he's spent the last couple of months saving up some money to buy you gifts so tailored to you it's almost a little creepy. also brings you breakfast in bed, bakes you the best cake you've ever had and has a reservation planned for dinner at your favourite… and is definitely the type to tell you you have one more gift to unwrap at the end of the day (it's him)

horror protagonist: lol. she bounds up to you super cheerfully and gives you the eyes of her teammate, since you said you liked them so much a bit ago… you don't question how she knows your birthday at this point. is glued to your side the entire day (though you begrudgingly admit she's less annoying than usual) and offers to cook or bake something for you. doesn't mind (at all) if you want to take your stress out on her, but… she's trying to be sweet for today

6: takes the day off from his work despite your many complaints and spends it with you, insisting it's his turn to spoil you for once. you're actually kind of impressed at how accurate his gifts are to your tastes and how he managed to get them without you noticing. it's sweet until he takes the opportunity to attempt to coax you into taking advantage of him, lingerie in your favourite colour and style and all

7: spends his entire allowance on giving you the best day possible, but he's fumbling so hard for most of it. a special limited edition for your favourite game that's not worth the money, some admittedly very soft plushies of your favourite animals, and a new bag since you'd been complaining your current one was falling apart… spends the entire day trying to hype himself up to give you a kiss but doesn't quite manage. feels terrible about how lacklustre his attempt was (despite how happy you are) and vows to himself to make the next much, much more enjoyable for you

[mangoshorthand]

I just saw your little post, I'm sorry I didn't clarify. Yes, I am a cis woman and I have more of a swimmer's body (I've been a swimmer for years so it's partially natural and partially conditioned) with wider hips and broad shoulders (typical swimmer long legs too). I hope this helps and sorry for such an inconvenience 😅

- birthday anon 🎂🎉

Original request, (paraphrased):

It's my birthday today and I was wondering if I could get a happy birthday from Five. I guess my prompt would be that throughout my life a lot of people forget my birthday (even my family) and often don't show up so if Five just remembered and decided to be soft and sensual and caring, that would make me the happiest person ever.

No problem Birthday Anon. Sorry this took a couple of days. Happy belated birthday! Also I made you a barista sooo...enjoy that I guess.

The Birthday Girl | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader 2.8k words, Rated E

Being born at the start of the year was always a harsh reminder of the fact that you weren’t the main character of all existence, something which it took most people much longer to realize. It was worse when you were a kid, with Christmas and birthday presents amalgamated into one by relatives already stressed out from gift-buying, but it still kind of stung now. Yeah, people had lives and it was a tricky time of year, but you surely didn’t need to be the main character of all existence to have people simply show up for your birthday. 

It was a nice place, you thought, glumly as you popped the olive from your martini into your mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. Not too crowded, the music loud enough to dance to without prohibiting conversation. The drinks were cheap and good quality. It would have been the perfect place for a birthday get together. 

You sighed and rested your elbows on the bar. You should have got the picture by now. You were a full grown adult, you knew how it went, and yet you still foolishly invited all your friends and even some family out. 

You’d never imagined that all of them would come, but you thought that at least a few would turn up. Over the past week, as you’d expected, they’d nearly all messaged their excuses and apologies and dropped out. For some, it was too close to going back to work after their christmas break, some were still away, while others were still recovering from New Year and unable to face the idea of partying again so soon.

You didn’t really blame those guys, (at least they had the decency to inform you that they weren’t coming), but you couldn’t help feeling angry at the no-shows who hadn’t even bothered to inform you, leading to you sitting alone in this bar, all dressed up for nothing.

“Hey.”

You turned your head, surprised to hear any voice addressing you. 

“Five,” you said, smiling nervously in greeting.

This was not what you’d planned. He was your favorite customer, yes, he said you made the best coffee in the city, but could you call him your friend? Did two years of late-night coffee twice a week count as a friendship?

He usually came in on one of your late shifts, looking immaculately dressed but gray with exhaustion. At first, he hadn’t talked, just drinking his coffee in silence and leaving with a murmur of thanks and a generous tip, but over time he’d been more receptive to your gentle offers of conversation, and gradually he’d shown up primarily to talk, sitting at the counter as you worked, sipping endless cups of coffee and keeping you company. 

What he hadn’t told you himself, you’d put together from snippets of conversation. You knew about the Umbrella Academy and the apocalypse, but it didn’t really factor into your picture of him. To you, he was just Five: the amusing mix of pessimism, wit, and an old man’s nostalgia for times past incongruous with the body in its twenties.  

Over the time you’d known him, he’d grown into your life easily. He had you looking forward to your late shifts and spending the time between them making mental notes of things to tell him next time you saw him. Your conversations with him were easy and intimate (you’d told him a few things you wouldn’t tell your diary on your deathbed), but the relationship was still this weird, context-bound thing. He was the customer, you were the server.  

He’d surprised you into inviting him to this little get-together a couple of days before new year. It was your first late shift after Christmas, and when he’d arrived and taken up his usual perch at the counter, one of his first remarks was:

“It’s your birthday coming up in a day or two, right?”

“Uh,” you faltered, “Um - yeah.”

He looked at you doubtfully. 

“You don’t sound very sure.”

“No, it is. I’m just surprised, is all. People always forget.”

Five shrugged.

“You told me last year. You swapped shifts to go out for dinner.”

“And you remembered that?”

“Yeah.”

It touched you, the way he spoke so casually, as if he couldn’t possibly do anything but remember this about you. So you invited him to come tonight, hoping he’d say yes but not read too much into it. For months, maybe longer, you’d been wondering, and his attitude then was the thing that pushed you to find out once and for all.

You had to know for sure whether this was something: whether you and he would be the same in a different environment, or whether this thing would just crumble to nothing outside of the diner’s soft-lighting. It would be a good test, you thought, and having other people there would act as a buffer in case of any awkwardness. 

In this, you had been thwarted, because now he stood beside you, looking more smart-casual than you’d ever seen him, frowning in a gray blazer over a dark tee.

“Well…happy birthday,” he said, dumping a giftbag on the bar with a clunk that signaled a bottle inside, “it’s rum. You said you liked mojitos.”

“Thanks,” you said, nodding, as he sat on the barstool beside you. 

He took a quick glance around, intelligent green eyes taking stock of the bar. 

“Is it just us?” he asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow in a way that made you chuckle.

“Yup,” you smiled, ruefully, “most people canceled, but there were three who just haven’t remembered to show up. I told them to meet me an hour ago, but no word.”

He frowned again, so you offered a little explanation:

“People forget when your birthday’s just after the holidays.” and then, with a smile at him, added, “Except you, of course.”

“Hm,” he said, with an air of contemplation, perhaps reflecting on why you’d told him to meet you later than everyone else. Seeming to dismiss it, however, he turned back to you:

“So you’re stuck with me?”

You looked back over at him, and a smirk developed on his face, one corner of his mouth turning up to complement his cocked eyebrow. 

And in that moment, you made a decision, one that was two years in the making. Why play these games? Why experiment with him? Worst case scenario, he finds another diner. 

“It’s stupid to be here with only two of us. Do you want to come back to mine? Maybe we crack open that rum and help me drown my birthday sorrows? I only live on the next street.”

***

The rum was never opened, because on the street outside your apartment, he stopped you with a hand on your arm.

He’d been silent ever since he agreed to come with you, and when you turned to face him outside your door, he fixed you with such a serious look that you took in a shallow breath.

“Sorry if I make this awkward, but I gotta know. Is this just a drink?”

You looked back at him, studying the earnest slope of his brow and his tense mouth; how the two freckles on his cheek disappeared into a small cleft in his cheek. It was a face that surrendered smiles reluctantly, but you could nearly always tease several out before the end of any shift. 

You shook your head wordlessly.

His adam's apple bobbed in his throat. His eyes, so often scowling, scathing or sardonic, fixed you now with a look of pure, open adoration. His thick lashes did nothing to shade you from the intensity of that look, from the opalescent green of his pupils that pulled at you with such fascination. 

When he spoke, his voice was very low.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, unable to keep your eyes on his face, choosing to study the neckline of his tee, beneath which a hint of sturdy collarbone was visible.

He reached out and gently ghosted his fingers down your cheek. 

“How could anyone forget your birthday?” he murmured. 

Then, he leaned forward and kissed you.

The chill January breeze momentarily played about your neck. A shiver ran through you, but not from cold: from his gentle lips against yours; from the feel of his soft hair between your fingers; from his body close to yours. 

Sweet, chaste and cherishing, it might have seemed platonic, that kiss, but for the way his tongue slipped briefly into the fray, though pulling back quickly: showing you that he had more should you wish to take it.

And you did. You wanted it to the point that you chased his lips when he tried to pull away. He smiled at this and let you catch him, letting your lips part his and your tongue enter his mouth. 

Finally, he succeeded in breaking the embrace, though leaving his hands softly on your hips.

“Take me upstairs?” he asked, huskily.

***

His mouth beside your ear, he held you on his lap like a beautiful fragile thing. He ran his fingers reverently up and down your thighs, like a servant privileged to touch precious silverware with kid gloves. 

He kissed you again, soft and syrupy, as if he was eating fruit perfectly sweetened on the vine, trailing his lips down your shoulder, humming with satisfaction.

 “God,” he whispered, “I could kiss you all day.”

The tender hunger in his tone sent a tingle straight to your core. 

It was a shame to have your back to him. When he’d thrown off his shirt as if it was nothing, your eyes drank him in: the softly defined muscles that were outlined by his movements and the trail of sparse, dark hair disappearing below his waistband. All this time, under those sharply cut suits, there was this.

But you couldn’t focus on the regret too much, not with his strong forearms wrapped around your naked body, his smell of antiperspirant and aftershave, and not with the heat of his hard arousal against your ass and lower back. 

His fingers clearly stated their intent against your inner thigh, pausing an inch away from where you needed him most. 

“May I?” he asked, breath tickling your ear. 

You could hear a little hint of mischief in his voice; the ironic move of his eyebrows.

“Yes please,” you breathed.

“Anything for the birthday girl,” he whispered, nuzzling briefly at your neck.

And he stroked your outer lips with gentle fingers, his index trailing back up your slit, the tip skimming slickness that had already gathered there.

He made an appreciative sound at his discovery, and you moaned at the throb of pleasure from just this teasing movement, bucking against him and momentarily pressing his cock against you more firmly.

“You’re so pretty,” he rasped into your ear, fingers parting your outer lips to reach your excited nub and stroking it in smooth, luxuriant circles, “look at you. So perfect.”

You whimpered and tossed your head helplessly against his shoulder. Heat was already building in your sex, your toes curling against your sheets. The foundations for your orgasm were laid from his very first touch of your aching pussy, your body crying out for him from the moment he kissed you. Now, you were helpless to his fingers: as confident and efficient in rubbing your needy clit as in all his other movements. 

“You deserve to be treated special.” he whispered, “This good?”

“Five.” 

“Yes?”

“Five.”

You could hardly say more, brain scrambling like beaten eggs until no vocabulary remained but the name of the man whose fingers were making come slowly drool down your thighs.

“Want me to stop?” he whispered, tenderly.

You shook your head fiercely. 

“Fi-ive!” you whined again, becoming completely inarticulate now as his ankles hooked around yours, holding your legs open gently. He could sense you beginning to ride your edge, could surely sense the heat burning and coiling and tightening in your stomach until - 

You cried out when you came, feeling more come gush from you, soaking his fingers and your thighs alike. He spoke softly to you as the waves of pleasure broke on you one by one, each bringing a fierce buck of your hips backwards against his hard, hot cock, sandwiched between you.

“That’s it.” he encouraged, “There you go. Feel good, sweetie?” 

You could do nothing but whimper and let yourself be carried by the rapture, surges exploding down each limb again and again.

“God, you’re so beautiful.”

Your orgasm subsided, leaving you panting against him. 

Through your recovery, he whispered more tender affirmations and praise into your ear, kissing and nosing at the side of your neck as he tried to distract himself from the tingles going up and down his length and the precome still leaking from his tip as your movements against him teased his excited cock. 

After you’d caught your breath, you became aware of the needy way he was kissing you; of the barely-there grinding of his pelvis; of his dick rubbing against you.

“Can I -?” came the desperate, half-articulated whisper.

“Yes please,” you replied.

He laid you down as if you were fragile, like an injured dove held in cupped hands. His gentle movements offered a stark contrast to the state of his gorgeous, curved cock. The tip was an angry pink, his balls high and tight with arousal. Intrigued, you began to caress that heated, swollen part of him. He hissed as you weighed and massaged his balls in one hand, the other closing around his shaft, already slick with precome.

“Don’t judge my stamina based on this, okay?” he said, voice cracking as his neck arched along with your strokes, “How about you stop that and we can try for quality over quantity?” 

It was spoken with self-consciousness that seemed unnecessary to you, given that he’d just rubbed your clit to a thigh-trembling orgasm quicker and more effectively than anyone you’d ever been with. You let his cock go and kissed him on the mouth as he lowered himself towards you. 

When he entered you, his mouth was still on yours, and you felt his sigh or relief against your lips. 

He filled you perfectly, your plush walls immediately gripping him, surrendering him reluctantly as he withdrew. You could see the tight pinch between his eyebrows. His eyes were already screwed shut. 

“Oh.”

The whisper was small and strung out, and you kissed his cheek and lips to encourage him as he let out a few, trembling breaths. 

“That feel good?”

“Yeah,” you gasped, “it feels good, Five. 

His strokes were slow, but skillful, his hips rutting with gentle fluidity. 

“I want to make you feel good,” he whispered, stroking your cheek, “I want to show you how special you are.”

From the movement of his body alone, you would have imagined him in complete control, not even close to his edge, but his increasingly fevered whispers and messy kisses to your lips and neck told a different story.

“Your pussy is so good. It’s so fucking wet.”

You kissed him back, nodding and moaning in affirmative as that perfect curve rubbed you just right inside, the low tempo building an ache as sweet and gentle as his thrusts. You gasped, pulsing around him, and his hips stuttered for the first time.

“F-fuck.” he breathed, “So hot. So perfect.”

He tensed.

“I’m close.”

You smiled against his ear. You were on birth control and you knew enough about Five to know that he didn’t raw-dog every barista who made him a good cup of coffee. It wasn’t logical or sensible but it was the only thing that seemed right after two years of illogical, foolish denial. 

“Come inside me.”

“You sure?”

You barely had time to confirm it to him before he let out an inarticulate cry. His dick pumped hard inside you, coating your walls with his load with his head buried in your neck, still keeping you gasping throughout with controlled, gentle, sensuous pumps of his pelvis.  

***

“You want coffee?”

You lay, bare-breasted on his chest as Five combed his fingers through your hair, feeling warm, content, and glowing from his tenderness. 

“Let me get it for a change.” he said.

“Wow, it really is my birthday,” you teased. 

You heard a short exhale of laughter as he extracted himself gently from the bedsheets. 

“Sure is.”

And, with as little care for his nakedness as if this was his own apartment, he headed across the bedroom, turning back at the door with a wry smile.

“And it’s not over yet.”

Tag list: (please comment to be added or removed): @thebearmage, @nevbrooke-555, @fiannee, @abeeabee6969

Oneshot Masterlist >> HERE

NOTE: I take Five requests, I'm fairly versatile in what I write (fluff, smut, angst, psychological character study- I'll try it all) but I will consider them on a case by case basis. See oneshot masterlist for request status and more.

[liesmyth]

the locked tomb holiday exchange rec list

Behold! The good, the magnificent, the sad! The filth and the angst and the feelings! The weird shit that would make TazMuir proud! 💀🎉✨☠️🔥🎊

Here are some favourites from a skim of works posted for @tlt-holiday-exchange, both art and fic. They are MANY and they are JUICY. Find the entire collection HERE, and keep an eye on for authors reveal coming soon!

ART FILLS

A Beautiful Fairy Tale. Wake tells little Bomb a bedtime story but she can't mention a princess without talking about guillotines. Rated T.

Dubious Curiosity. Nona is curious. Nona loves everyone. And Nona wants Cam. (Camilla/Nona) Rated M.

Fingers In Her Mouth. Camilla Hect misses the Warden. Maybe he can lend a helping hand… even in death. (Camilla/hand!Palamedes) Rated M.

just guys being bros. Camilla/Gideon. Gideon touches a boob! A very happy new year to awkward butch lesbians everywhere. Rated T.

Pyrrha Dve Appreciation. Pyrrha & Nona, soft hugs! Rated G.

Stealing Breath. Camilla/Gideon butch-off make-out session. Rated G.

To Shreds, You Say? Pyrrha/Mercymorn/Wake fucking nasty. Rated E.

FIC FILLS

a buried and a burning flame. Coronabeth fucks Gideon's corpse. Rated E.

For all intents and purposes the corpse of the Ninth’s cavalier is a bad lay. That’s all fine, though.

a grave, deep and narrow. Camilla/Palamedes, GtN AU, Character Death, Tape Recorder Conversation Redux. Podfic included! Rated T

Only Lyctors were meant to leave the First House alive. Ianthe insists on bringing Coronabeth; Judith dies of her injuries. Camilla is stranded alone at Canaan House — alone, except for the persistent hallucinations of her necromancer.

affix. Coronabeth/Harrow, humiliation kink, improper use of bones, dom!Harrow, GtN era. rated E.

Cytherea doesn't go to Canaan House AU - Corona overconfidently approaches Harrow in the hopes of exchanging lab keys. Harrow humbles her quickly.

AITA for telling my dad I didn't like my birthday party? Gideon & John, In-Universe Social Media, Character study, Rated T.

I (20F) told my dad (45?M) that I wanted a cool birthday party, but he threw me a terrible birthday party instead. Am I really the asshole for telling him I didn't like it?

and kings shall come out of thy loins. Gideon/Ianthe, crack treated seriously, body horor, SNAKES. Rated M.

Ianthe saves God from the stoma and the River and all she has to show for it are these fucking snubes.

come, dearest heart. Lyctor Palamedes AU, HtN era. Camilla/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Camilla/Palamedes. Rated E.

In Canaan House, Palamedes Sextus unwillingly ascends to Lyctorhood to put an end to Cytherea the First's rampage. He's left heartbroken, grieving, and terribly, terribly lonely.

Don't Care If You Think I'm Dumb (I Don't Care At All). Gideon/Ianthe, Gideon as Kiriona, Unwholesome Tower Princes Bonding ft. bad sex and retail therapy. Rated E.

The newly christened Kiriona Gaia is not having a good time on the Mithraeum. At least she has Ianthe there to make her worse.

Follow Your Dreams, Never Let Them Die. Gideon/Harrow, Pokemon trainers AU! Rated T.

On her Pokemon Journey, Gideon Nav approaches the mysterious Drearburh City Gym - but something feels oddly familiar.

Gaia's Natural Market. modern AU, retail hell, Harrow/Gideon, Harrow/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe. Rated T

RING-A-DING-DING, the Holiday's are here! And nothing says "Give!" like the bounty of the Mother Herself, so come on by to GAIA's Natural Market! Treat your family to a home-cooked meal with only the PUREST of ingredients - all Produce Organic, all Products non-GMO, and all Smiles Authentic and free of Toxins!

Good Girl. Coronabeth/Ianthe, puppyplay, muzzles, rated E.

Coronabeth is Ianthe's big dicked bimbo puppy. Ianthe's into it.

Goodnight, New Rho. Camilla & Nona. Domestic Fluff, Missing Scene. Rated G.

Nona gets a bedtime story. Camilla reminisces about growing up with an older sister. They both sleep well, despite a notable lack of dogs.

In the Empire of the Deeps. Gideon/Nona/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe, Pirate AU, monsterfucking-adjacent, Nona is an eldritch sea creature. Rated E.

A chance encounter on the beach. Ianthe is manipulative, Kiriona is sad, and Nona is not as innocent as she seems. Sometimes, you might yearn for one person and meet another one. Sometimes, you have to take what you can get.

just like normal. Ianthe/Coronabeth, Cytherea is also there. Penis in vagina sex, Exhibitionism, Squirting. Rated E.

Ianthe gives herself a cock, and Corona is increasingly bewildered that she hasn’t been allowed to sit on it yet.

language of its own. Camilla/Palamedes. Worldbuilding, idiots to lovers, pre-canon. Rated T.

Camilla Hect has to do an erotic poetry final.

Masochism Tango. Porn with feelings, knifeplay, vivisection, lyctor-typical everything. Rated E.

Two occasions in which Pyrrha Dve had the pleasure of being under Cytherea's knife, and Mercymorn had the pleasure of Pyrrha Dve.

METHODS OF SUBDUCTION. Judith/Cornabeth, Judith & Varun. Planetary science rizz. Rated M.

Varun the Eater teaches Judith Deuteros how to flirt.

midnight mass. Mercymorn/Cristabel, pre-canon, Character Study. Rated T.

A lifetime before the resurrection and two decades before the apocalypse, a novice nun and a third-year medical student discuss goodness, passion, and salvation at midnight on Christmas morning.

motherhood. Mercymorn uses flesh magic on Wake. Hate sex ensues. Body horror, motherhood as violence, canon compliant. Rated E.

“I will kill you,” you say, with all the placid fervor of a religious convert. When you’re on the edge of real violence, you lose that tense little furrow in your brow—it’s beautiful, really. “Please give me a reason.”

My Love Overflows. Corona/Ianthe, Strap-on, Dirty talk, Impact Play, Hair Pulling, Bladder control. Rated E.

The one in which Corona pisses all over herself at Ianthe's whims.

name and rank. Judith/Coronabeth, Judith & Varun. Judith's failwoman swag! Rated T.

As Judith lies dying, she has nothing but time. Varun the Eater uses it to teach her how to flirt with the Princess. Don’t worry. Varun has got this!

New Rule. Mercymorn/Pyrrha, Ranch AU, stablehand Pyrrha, boss/employee relationship. Rated E.

Never hire stablehands who are too handsome and capable for their own good.

no shade in the shadow of the cross. Cytherea/Mercymorn, angst, fisting, two pillow princesses NOT making it work! Rated E.

Cytherea and Mercymorn have an ill-timed tryst.

per my last email. Camilla/Palamedes. Academia, banter. On peer review and multitasking. Rated M.

“Warden,” she said patiently, “you want me so badly it’s making you stupid."

RISKING OUR LIVES FOR UNIVERSITY HOLE???? 🤯😳 University AU, Team 69. The hole is a basement to be clear! Rated T.

The difficult part of visiting the local haunted house for a feature in the university magazine is not actually the visiting; it’s the writing about it afterwards.

So Messed Up. Ianthe/Coronabeth. Puppy play, collars & leashes, tail plug. Rated E.

Ianthe using her flesh magic to give Corona a big cock for petplay because she loves the idea of her sister being a big dicked bimbo puppy girl who just wants to rut into her.

The Great Gamete Gambit. Camilla & Palamedes, Pre-canon, worldbuilding, sixth house reproductive practices. Rated G.

Palamedes and Camilla have an important package to send, but there's been a heist in the gamete repository! Can the 15-year-old Master Warden and his cavalier crack the case?

The Sextus Scandal. Camilla/Palamedes, Epistolary, Pre-Canon Divergence. Rated E.

Transcripts and documents relating to the disciplinary hearing and subsequent resignation of Master Warden Palamedes Sextus.

Ways to Be Perfect. Babs/Colum Asht, GtN era, Rated M.

When Naberius first glanced across the supper table at Colum Asht, he didn’t immediately get the impression that he was liked.

The end!

Thank you for making it this far. If you enjoyed any of these works, or anything else in the collection, please drop a comment to make our creators feel appreciated <3

[post creators reveal exchange wrap post]

[xxsycamore]

✨The Sunshine Syndrome

╰┈➤ 🎂 "Do you remember what you wished for, last night when you blew the candles?"

Sebastian x Reader; ft. all the mansion residents • rating: G • tags: Birthday Fluff; Humor; everyone being silly goofy • wordcount: 1,453 • masterlist

a/n: and again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY INKY!!!! 🎉🎉🎉@inkys-garden I was wondering what to tell you about Sebas celebrating your birthday, and it suddenly turned into fic plot so here we are :DD HOPE YOU LIKE ITTTT!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤

It's another beautiful day of your life in 19th century Paris, in the neat little mansion up the hill that you call a home, just you and your lover and your 8 housemates who are reincarnated vampires and your sugar daddy landlord whose wealth you all live off. A day like any other, it might seem, except, today is the day you were born. Well, the day you will be born, if you have to take the time travel into account… your suggestion to place a minus in front of your age on the cake this year was met with disapproval by your lover Sebastian. "We can do the same for your age!" You said, but Sebastian wasn't really interested.

Content and excited for the day to unfold, you've already put your cutest outfit on, made a little spin in front of the mirror and exited your room to head downstairs. Strangely, Sebastian didn't wake you up earlier this morning, despite your wish to come help him with chores like always. He must have let you get some more shut-eye because it's your special day. He really shouldn't have to!

Huh. It's strange, you can swear you're hearing a cheerful melody coming from the dining room. Speeding up your step that already had a bit of spring to it, your curiosity makes you push the doors open without a second thought.

"YOU CAN DANCEEE!"

"YOU CAN JIVE!"

"Having the time of your lifeee!"

Wait, what! Why is everyone here, spreading jam on toasts, smiling at each other, why is Mozart smiling at all, and why on earth are they singing Abba?! "Oh, you're awake! We've been all waiting for you!" Sebas suddenly notices you, giving you the softest smile while gesturing you to come closer.

"There's the birthday girl. Heh, had a good night's sleep, cara-mia?

Previously, you thought you did. Now you're wondering if you're STILL sleeping.

"I, uh, I guess so? I did sleep very well… I thought I'd be awake much earlier though! But that aside, what are you-"

Theo interrupts you, thrusting a plate with warm pancakes into your hands.

"Good morning, kuiken, this is for you, I left some pancakes for you. Happy Birthday. Sorry I wasn't around to wish you a Happy Birthday last night, I hope you had fun with the others."

"Oh! That's- Theo, please, I understand you're a busy man- wait, how did you call me?!"

"A baby chick. I figured hondje might be a bit too rude so I'm switching to kuiken. It suits you more."

H-Huuuh!

"Okay then, thank you for being so considerate! But still, what are you guys all doing here, singing and all?!"

Jean of all people speaks up, pulling out the chair next to him so you can take a seat. You do so with curiosity, seeing his sincere little smile.

"It happened spontaneously, mademoiselle. It seems like we all had the same sudden idea to have breakfast together for a change. I was a bit reluctant about joining, but Sebastian showed me how easy it is to make these toasts with jam. I think I should consider joining you around the table more often."

You're utterly moved by Jean's sudden change of heart, and his face is so angelic in this moment. You've been waiting for him to take this step for so long, and here he took a leap!

"Amazing, isn't he?" Dazai startles you by placing a hand on your shoulder from behind. "I want to seal this version of our Jean in one of my future writings. I feel like writing something happy and light for a change, I wonder why is that?"

You understand Dazai's sentiment, as surprising as it is to hear the last part of what he said. With a mood like this, it seems like everyone's in good spirits.

"They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, yet here you are…" Isaac rolls his eyes at Arthur, holding up an apple in his hand as if to emphasize his point. Arthur blinks at him, not used to the physicist weaponizing the very same thing that has been used against him so often before. He feels inclined to ask, trying his best lighthearted but simultaneously teasing tone, without a real bite to it.

"You do understand that's just a saying, Isaac? It hasn't been scientifically proven."

Isaac smiles at him, shrugging his shoulders. "I was just joking."

You watch the exchange with the same bewilderment as everything else happening around you, and that's when the door opens again to reveal a yawning Napoleon. Oh, you didn't realize he was missing from the impromptu house meeting!

"'Morning. I don't remember the last time I slept so much…"

"Good Morning, Monsieur Napoleon! We all decided to let you sleep in for as long as you want to today. Your second life here is all about relaxing, after all. It seems like you've enjoyed it!"

"Oh, that's strange, last time I checked it wasn't my birthday today?" Napoleon smirks, running a hand through his unruly hair, and winks at you.

"Why did we stop singing? I need to remember the rhythm for my composition. Otherwise, I'll have to let you all in my music room later and… well, maybe if you agree to behave we can move our choir there actually." Mozart smiles behind his cup of tea, surprisingly considering the idea.

"Yay, I've been waiting for a chance to visit the music room!" Exclaims Vincent, just a tad louder than how he usually shows his joy.

Watching them all be so happy, to the point where even Comte cares little about keeping his chuckles in the usual gentlemanly tone and Leonardo barely bickers with him over it, you find yourself overwhelmed with the giddy feeling that fills the room. All you want to do right now is join in the good mood, enjoying this moment to the fullest, but you want one last grounding moment with Sebastian before you do that. So you pull him to the kitchen, away from the rowdy residents, and ask once again how did this happen.

"I taught them Dancing Queen because I thought it was fitting of the mood."

"I'm not asking about this!!"

Sebastian smiles at you, gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Do you remember what you wished for, last night when you blew the candles?"

The memory floods your mind at once, all confetti and the sound of several people singing you Happy Birthday. They quite literally bombarded you with wishes, compliments, telling you how big of a sunshine you are, how you're the most cheerful and bubbly person they know. In the heat of the moment, you said you wish they could all feel how happy you truly are in this moment. You wished it could stay like that forever; all smiles and fun and games.

You gasp.

"Am I… infectious?!"

"I'm afraid you are. Look around you. My dear, your sunshine syndrome could reach faraway kingdoms and melt the heart of any cold-blooded prince, turn the ruthless tiger into a playful little kitten. This is how you are."

"S-Sebas!! This could be very bad, what about-"

"Let's not think about the future. Things are amazing the way they are right now. We have to live in the moment."

"Sebas!!"

"You and I won't be doing any chores today. Or tomorrow for that matter. Or the day after. We should focus on enjoying life and partying."

"THE MANSION IS GOING TO CRUMBLE TO DUST!!"

***

"My dear, are you alright? Just what kind of dreams are you having? Why is the mansion going to crumble to dust?"

You wake up to Sebastian caressing your face, trying to shake off your dreams. Your…dreams?!

"Sebas… oh my god…"

"Was it a nightmare? It's over now." Sebastian leans down and places a kiss on your forehead, before standing to his feet. "You can lounge around for a little longer, but come to the kitchen when you're ready. It might be your birthday but we still have a long day ahead of us!"

You rub your closed eyes, still finding it hard not to mix dreams with reality. You're almost glad to see him so much… like himself, even if it means doing chores with him again. "Mm, I'll be there in fifteen minutes…"

"I'm supposed to keep this a secret, but… I want to be selfish and see your surprised and happy face while we're still alone. The residents all promised to come to breakfast today, and even help preparing it!"

You blink.

No.

This can't be.

"…Could we sing too?"

"Perhaps we can. If our masters are feeling up to it."

"YAAY!"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @kimi00twin @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @devonares @galaxyprison @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @natimiles @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @groovylita @justpeachyteastea Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[k-n0-x]

༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid-Chapter 4·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻

A/N: Hey guys! I managed to get this chapter out early coz I am so hot and amazing at everything my social life is at an all time low and we have Easter break. Some foreshadowing if you guys can guess, but keep it to yourselves for now. Mommy issues y/n? That’s a first 😨😨😨😨. This chapter is also Lucifer basically being: “No, you’re so sexy haha don’t cry”

Also, the slow burn is burning now! YAYYA 🎉

Playlist:

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Enjoy! <3

꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🦢♕✶💫☾🥀꧂

You sit on the patio of your home, feeling as though you’re rotting away. 

It’s been 5 days since Adam’s full blown out tantrum, but it feels like it’s been 5 lifetimes. 

A cockatiel lands on your table, its bulging inky eyes staring at you, vying for your attention. 

You laugh, and give it some crumbs of your leftover toast from breakfast that you couldn’t bear to finish.

The bird eats them graciously, and flies away, you watching enviously. 

Oh, how you wished you were that bird. Carefree, and not trapped in the gilded cage that you are in. 

If only… 

Bzz bzz

Your phone rings. The contact Mom glows on your screen. 

Unwillingly, you swipe right. 

“Hey mom, what's up?” This woman never calls you, unless there are three instances; she needs you to get her something of monetary worth, wishing you a happy birthday/any other significant holiday, or-

“Darling, there's something I need to talk to you about. A little birdie told me that you've been stepping out of line recently~” 

Ah yes. The third instance. The times when your actual fucking personality shows, even for a sliver of a moment, and how it  could potentially hurt your ‘relationship’ with Adam. 

“Mom, it's not that big of a deal. I just was feeling rough recently, and-”

“Well it doesn't matter what you feel does it? What matters is that you honour our family. Being married to Adam is what's best for you. You acting outwardly is seriously jeaprodising your relationship, and I am just trying to help you stop before it's too late,” Your maternal figure’s sing-song-like voice turns sharp in an instant, like it could cut through butter. 

“You were always a wild child, a disappointment, I am trying to help you-”

You interrupt. 

“How are you helping?! Belittling me, treating me as some sort of– some do Ill?! I have tried, given my whole entire fucking life, trying to please you in every way, but somehow, it's never enough! And when I do fuck up, suddenly I'm a failure in your eyes?!” 

Silence.

“You better mind your language young lady,”

“NO! I will NOT mind my FUCKING LANGUAGE. I will  swear when I want to, and I will do whatever I FUCKING WANT! I AM DONE WITH YOU AND YOU- YOUR WAY OF THINGS!” 

You press the end button, calmly. 

You storm up to your bedroom and closed the door. Calmly.

You look at the bookshelf, always so perfectly clean, scarce of dust. 

Perfectly clean, no imperfections. 

You let out a cry of irritation and just start throwing out books, ripping the pages of each, crumpling sheets of paper, sobbing hot angry tears while doing so. 

When that was done, you just bring the entire bookshelf down with a bang, and you stomp on it until you feel a sharp pain in your foot, surely that's a splinter right there. 

You stumble over into your bed and scream and cry in your pillow, amongst the mess.

You submerge yourself in your pillow even more, until your anger numbs away, leaving you with a throbbing pain in your head. 

Absolutely drained from your outburst, you drift off. 

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

Everywhere is foggy. 

You look around, looking for anything of use, when your attention is turned to a glowing light, placed on a rusted pedestal. 

Since it's the only thing that piques interest, you touch the fluorescent ball and yelp when it scorches your hand.

“Ow,” you pull your hand away and decide to look for anything else. 

As you trek through the nothingness, you  feel like you're being tugged down by an anchor, or treading through quicksand. 

Suddenly, the ground gives way under your feet. 

You’re falling. 

The cold air whistles through your ears. 

You try to fly with your wings, but nothing; it feels like they have been ruthlessly ripped from your body.

You feel as though you're being stretched, squished and deformed like play dough, until you hear and feel something cracking. As you fall, you look towards the light. 

At the entrance of the hole, there are many, unidentifiable figures, just, staring at your downfall. 

You want to scream and cry for help, but it feels like your mouth has been cemented shut. 

A faint noise calls your name, which sounds closer and closer each time as you fall helplessly. 

You make a successful-ish attempt to turn on your stomach. 

In your horror, you see a halo, cracked and muted of its previous glow. Your halo.

Not that far below you, there are hot red coals. 

Oh God. 

The voice becomes louder and closer and you hit the ground with a scream. 

You jump up, to find yourself back in the dump that is your bedroom, slicked with sweat. 

“Oh my God, Y/N! Are you alright?” Emily, who was tentatively paving the way to get to your pathetic self. 

“Emi, hi… Yeah, just eh, rough day,” you smile weakly at the Seraphim, who’s concerned expression shows that she doesn't believe you, but she doesn’t want to put you under pressure.

“What’s all of this?” Emily motions to the wrecked room.  

“Adam pulled a tantrum again?” 

“Huh? Oh that, nono, sorry uhm,” you pause to clean the room as it was with the snap of your fingers.

“Why are you here Emi? Do you need something?” You wipe your eyes, but your bloodshot eyes are still apparent. 

“No, I just wanted to hang out with you, but I can come back if it's a bad time,” The Seraphim stumbles over her words as she looks up at you, slightly flushing.

“No, no you can stay. I’m just a little bit shaken up, but yep you can stay. Uhm….” you trail off. 

This place is feels really constraining

You need an escape. 

“Hey Emily, wanna go on an adventure?” You put on a face of newfound enthusiasm. The Seraphim just had that effect on people.

“Of course! But er, where?” 

“Shh, it's a surprise, now let's go!” You push Emily into the portal you made and go in yourself. 

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“Woah, this is what it's like?” Emily says as she looks around the hellish landscape like a lost puppy.

She snaps out of it when you drag her out of the way of a thrown carcass headed towards the both of you. 

“Yeah, let's head inside,” You manoeuvre her into the hotel. 

The lobby is more populated than your last visits to the establishment, though all faces are familiar. 

“Emily, meet Angel, Husk Alastor, Charlie, who you know already, and-” Your voice dies down in your throat at the sight of the Demon King, with his strapping jacket and top hat. 

What is going on with you today? 

“And Lucifer,” You motion to the King, who gives you both an acknowledging nod. 

Your heart misses a beat. 

“Well uh, there's one more but I don't know where she is… WOAH NIFFTY!”

The little scamp runs towards the Seraphim with a knife about to stab her with malicious intent. 

“Niffty, no. No stabbing any more angels we talked about this,” Angel grabs the knife from the housemaid and throws it in the trash can. 

“Ugh, not a bad boy,” Nifty grumbles and begrudgingly rushes off to god knows where. 

“Well everyone, this is Emily, not sure if Charlie has told you about her but-”

“Is she your kid?” Angel asks. 

“I’m sorry, what? Oh no, no she is not my kid pff,” you say. 

“Huh,”

“Well as I was trying to say, Emily here is another person on our side,” You give Emi an encouraging squeeze of the shoulders. 

“Well this is quite the improvement. Salutations! Pleasure to meet you,” The radio demon greets himself, extending his hand to shake Emily's. 

She takes it, though cautious. 

She turns to Charlie and warms up to the amicable face. 

“Hi, Emily, er obviously you know who I am,” The princess of Hell welcomes her, as some of the other Hotel residents go off doing their own thing. 

“Oh yes. Y/N told me about you, obviously we've met before, but under less casual circumstances,” Emily scrambles for conversation. 

Obviously, they need a little push to loosen up with each other. 

“Charlie, maybe show Emily the garden? Or maybe the entire hotel for that matter. Emi here has been dying to have a look around,” 

“Oh yes! Let me show you some of the suites, I decorated them myself,” Filled with giddiness, Charlie beckons the Seraphim upstairs.  

Emily turns to you, unsure. 

“Go on, don't worry, I'll be waiting here!” You give her a persuasive smile and shoo the pair upstairs. 

Now you had some time to kill…

“Hey!” 

“Agh!” You jump at the voice of Lucifer. 

“Geez, am I that scary?” He laughs and puts a hand on your shoulder. 

“Pff as if-” You snicker and give him a playful shove back.

“Anyway, how've you been? How's the old rusted machine been?”

“Are you always going to make digs and remarks at my husband in an attempt to get all three of his wives in your pants?” You raise an eyebrow sarcastically.

He sighs, feigning sorrow. “You know me too well. I thought it was the perfect plan, but clearly I'll have to tune it a bit,” The demon rattles on, but your brain fixates on the one word he said. 

Perfect. 

Something you try so, so hard to be, but apparently isn't enough for your mom. 

If your mom doesn't love you as you are. 

Well, what's to say anyone can? 

“Well, what do you say, Butter-Duck? You have to find a nickname for me, but I'll call you that regardless, hmm?”

His question brings you back to the conversation. 

Which, leads you to ugly, fat tears. 

Lucifer’s face contorts into panic. 

“Wait, I'm sorry, it's was a rubbish nickname, sorry I thought it was funny-” He puts a comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“No, no it's not that,” You rub your eyes, your voice croaky. 

“The reason is quite silly, really, it's fine, I'm just being stupid hahha,”

Lucifer is not convinced. 

“Listen, you helped me out the other day, and even though I'm not good at this comforting stuff, please, at least let me listen,” He gives you a weak, gorgeous smile, one that is enough to make you stop crying about. 

Okay, it's really becoming an issue of you being distracted by…

Him.

“Well, just an argument with my mom; basically just her saying how much of a disappointment I am and-” your voice creaks.

“And?”

“And I suddenly just don’t feel like her daughter,just a burden she has to put up with, and then what’s the point of all of this if you're not perfect,” 

And breathe. 

You put your face in your hands. 

“I’ll never find love,” 

“Hang on, but isn't Adam your husband? Don't you love him?” 

“No, I don't. It was a marriage purely organised by my parents. Completely transactional,” you mutter dejectedly. 

“Shit, that really sucks. Listen, I know it's hard to hear, but you need to hear it. Nobody is perfect. No one. That's what makes people interesting. And your mom wanting you to be that is far from perfect of her. Not sure if you're aware, but we're in Hell, right now, amongst many people who are basically morality rejects. But you, you're a Winner. Not in the physical sense, but also metaphorically. And for what it's worth…” Lucifer takes a moment to mull over his next words. 

“Many people love you, like Charlie and, that Seraphim, Emilia?”

“Emily” You amend. 

“Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is that you have many people that adore you, and that's what matters most,” Lucifer comes closer and stiffly puts his arms around you, which you return. 

“Thank you, Lucifer,” You sniffle into his shoulder. 

“No problem, anytime. You are my friend after all,” He gently smiles.

Your heart flutters. Friend? As in, person he considers more than an acquaintance? 

“So, what's this about a Butter-Duck?” You tease. 

“What? I thought it'd be a cool nickname for you,” He huffs. 

“Alright, alright… Let me think of a nickname for you then… Lulu!” 

He grimaces. “Ugh, that sounds like a name for a baby products brand!”

“Oddly specific, but if it annoys you more, all the better!” 

“Ugh, you're like worst than some sinners here I swear,” 

“Who said Angel’s can't be jokesters too?” You give him a wink. 

He coughs, a rosy red complexion appearing on his face.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

Emily and Charlie come back into the lobby, to you and Lucifer making small talk on the couch. 

“Ready to go?”

 Emily nods. She goes to hugs Charlie, which is reciprocated. 

“Well, I’ll see you around?” You squeeze the demon’s king hand. 

He looks at you, and nods, hesitant to return the gesture, as if you were glass. 

“Yes, I will,” 

As you and Emily leave to make your way back to Heaven, you could've sworn you heard Lucifer whisper three words. 

“I love you,” 

You turn back with a questioning expression, but all that was on his face was nonchalance.

꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🐣♕✶💫☾🥀꧂

Word count- 2,194~

Taglist:

@dionysusismypatrongod

@glowymxxn

@froggybich

[sizzlingbananalightpatrol]

ITS MY BIRTHDAY 🎂🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉

Have desert duo dump to celebrate my birthday cause I didn't wanna make my own bday art

Also I've been using tumbrl for a while now and I love reading you guys's reblogs like genuinely. People on Tumblr have been so nice to me 😭

But anyway as a treat to myself here are some desert ppl sketches I've doodled in the past few months during work on paper that was translated over to digital. I have like 10 sketch books of these men it's crazy, sadly not many ppl share Minecraft fixations with me so these have been left in the void for who knows how long tbh

Usually when I post art I try to share my better works or something that I think is as good as can be since I'm too busy and usually not able to finish art but tbh I'm thinking of just posting low quality sketches because honestly some of these r so insane I need someone who's not me to bare witness to it

Need someone who can go crazy over these little dudes with me fr if anyone wanna be moots I'm always open to making new friends!!

[multifandomfanfic]

Hii could you please write something of Leo Messi x daughter reader maybe something like it’s her 18th birthday so leo and anto and like remembering cute moments from when she was a kid to now it can be an Insta au too or anything you’re most comfortable with! Thank youu ❤️

leomessi

liked by yourusername, sergioramos, joelinacardoso26, and 28,102,985 others

leomessi: (translated from Spanish) Happy birthday to my favorite girl. Seeing you every day for the past eighteen years has brought so much joy and happiness into my life. You have been the most perfect daughter--I will never forget the first time I held you, or when I taught you how to swim despite you being so scared, or when we went to your school dances in matching outfits you picked, or when we sped down the road after you first got your license (and all the other things we've done that I haven't told your mother about). I can't wait for another eighteen years being your dad.

yourusername: i love you dad!! i'm sorry i made you wear that blue suit 😅

leomessi: As long as you were happy, I'm happy.

antonelaroccuzzo: What do I not know about?

yourusername: great and wonderful and totally legal father-daughter things comment liked by leomessi antonelaroccuzzo: I need to talk to your father.

psg: A very happy birthday from all of PSG!

yourusername: thank you guys ♥

fanaccount1: happy birthday, @/yourusername!

yourusername posted to their story

antonelaroccuzzo

liked by yourusername, leomessi, psg, and 3,291,219 others

antonelaroccuzzo: (translated from Spanish) Forever grateful for the best daughter in the whole world! Every year, we've made a special birthday breakfast together. I will always remember your little toddler face covered in flour, and the time you decided to save some of your pancakes for the birds. I hope you were surprised by every food from the past years waiting for you this morning--even if we didn't make them together! I love you, y/n, and I am so lucky to be your mom. 💕

yourusername: i love you too mom! and i loved the breakfast :)

comment liked by leomessi and antonelaroccuzzo

neymarjr: So this is why Leo was so worried about when bakeries close yesterday...

yourusername: omg you're joking k.mbappe: nope, he was totally freaking out

fanaccount2: i wish i was her 😍

fanaccount3: and this is just breakfast??

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by leomessi, antonelaroccuzzo, yourbestfriend, and 1,826,146 others

yourusername: (translated from Spanish) who's got better drip?

antonelaroccuzzo: Wasn't that old picture taken before your first horse-riding lesson? When you fell off the horse and landed in a pile of mud?

comment liked by leomessi yourusername: the world doesn't need to know about that mom antonelaroccuzzo: But you were so cute!

pablogavi: the second one

yourusername: thank you 🥰 pablogavi: of course :)

fanaccount4: you're so pretty

fanaccount5: happy birthday!! 🎉

yourusername added to their story

[karfecc-dreamer]

HAPPY FNAF 10TH ANNIVERSARY 🎉🎉🎉

I don't really have anything big and congratulatory (sadly I didn't have enough time 😭 (*kicking and yelling and crying*) ), but I do have little doodle and some drawings of humanized Mangle and Phone Guy

⚠️TW: BLOOD AND GORE

I still can't believe Five Nights at Freddy's is ten years old. Like... WTF? I have so many emotions at once...I literally grew up with FNAF. This franchise has literally shaped a large piece of my fucking personality and preferences and given me so many happy memories. And FNaF may be imperfect, but I don't really care about it — this franchise and fandom really means a lot to me. And I, uh... Idk, what else can I say. Just know that I'm currently running in circles on the ceiling screaming excitedly at 160 dB.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FNAF!!!!! Huge thank you to Scott Cawthon! And big thank you to everyone who has ever taken part and is taking part in this! 💚

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Happy Birthday David Dastmalchian 🎂🎉🎁🎈

To celebrate, I'm stealing borrowing from my friend's @polkadotjohnson amazing idea of making a Top 10 Loved/Hottest roles of his, with an honourable mention for both~ Here's 30 of my most adored characters of his with little snippets for each, it's a looooong read, and if anyone else wants to make their own, here's a tierlist I made for this exact purpose 💗💗💗

10.

💘 Love of my Life - Dr Fearless

My cringefail boyfriend, I love every single headcanon I hear about him. He was so damn cute even before I fell in love, and now every time I see him I start giggling and kicking my feet lol 😚 I adore how much fun DD has with him, and honestly I’m gunna dress as a vampire for Halloween this year /)w(\ been like 20+ years but I really really wanna do it!

🔥 Hottest Role - Whistling Marauder (Bird Box)

Mother of mercy. We rewatched the whole movie just for him, so naturally he shows up near the end and then died ;w; but that outfit, holy hell. Oh my god. I’m such a sucker for bad boys and this guy is going around forcing people to stare at this eldrich being that’ll destroy you or drive you mad. And he looks goddamn great while doing it. Gunna attach myself to the chain on his jeans. Okay I’m normal again, what a way to start off the list lmao

❣️ Honourable Mention - Luke (Singled Out)

Douchebag. Shitty brother who’s also great if only to save his own ass. Thief. Pure idiot. Irresistible. I knew the moment I saw the clips on youtube that he would so be my type, and seeing the full pilot only proved that. Dude picked a burger over getting his sister, he would treat me so wrong half the time, but then he’d make me waffles and it’d be all better 😊

9.

💘 Love of my Life - The Writer (Making Love)

This one breaks my heart so much. I’ve been in a relationship like this before, and I really want to save him from his. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, his outfit is hot as hell with all the rings and bracelets and necklaces, not to mention the undone shirt buttons, he’s got the emo bangs, he is the complete package for me. The only reason he isn’t higher is because I fell for many others first. I almost never watched this one because my brain was going haywire trying to imagine what kinda scenes I’d find in something with a title like that, and sure enough my face was so red the entire time since I watched with headphones and it starts with him whispering right in my ear, like him asking, ‘Do you love me?’ nearly made me cry, I love him so much. If I could bring specifically him to life I would love the hell outta him until he stopped needing such a painful, self-destructive fake love with the Woman QwQ

❣️ Honourable Mention - Nick (Love is an Elevator)

This one is just a silly little guy /)w(\ right from the start he’s so adorable, I would melt if anything even close to his interaction happened to me, and him just swooning and saying she was beautiful before bailing in tears is so me-coded TwT I would love to go out on a date with him!

🔥 Hottest Role - Abra Kadabra (The Flash)

Abra was so tricky to place because I love him, but as soon as I remembered his buckle outfit from his second episode I knew he had to go under Hot. Like, again, I’m so weak. I love his attitude, I love how he just wants that applause for his showmanship, his ‘powers’ are cool as hell, and DD has the wand in his home now and I think that’s so damn cool 😊 The reveal with him wanting to bring back his alternate timeline family was so sweet I almost cried, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be killed out so instantly right after his redemption. Not even a fan/watcher of the show, but in my head I’m having Flash warn him about it since he’s from the future, so he’s fine now 😌

8.

💘 Love of my Life - James Lewis (Teacher)

James was also incredibly difficult to place because I love him so much ;w; The entire movie I was rooting for him, guy did nothing wrong in the face of what was going on around him, and granted he did take things too far, but… villains are hot 😳 so I won through that entire movie. And he lived! And kept getting to teach! I remember I pointed at the screen when he was putting books away cause that’s my job lol I felt truly close to him in that short moment 😂 Anyway, Arabella didn’t deserve him, like she wasn't into it from the moment they met, every single time he talked she would do this 😬 guy was going through hell and was very clearly in a bad place all around, I can’t fault him for drunkenly saying the wrong thing if it were me, even if it did really hurt me. Gunna give him a new wedding ring to put on when he gets outta prison.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hector (Premature)

He’s so cute!!! I may be weak for villains, but I adore his sweeter roles as well, I’m so glad I got to see him. If I moved to a new city and he was my neighbour I’d know I’d be okay, because honestly he needs to be my roommate like yesterday. A chef who’s afraid to cook because of OCD, I’m sure he’d be able to help me with my own cooking from a safe distance, and I already have some practice as my sibling has OCD and is very strict about how her food is handled, so I’ll have come full circle. I just need to make him more okay with cuddles first…

🔥 Hottest Role - Denham (A Killer of Men)

Denham was another one that was hard to place, because that axe twirls makes me insane, but with what little screentime he gets it all evens out. Another great villain, he’s just senseless violence in a bloody wedding dress and he works it. Love the look, love the vibe, if the world ended and the whole gang was coming at me I’d be honoured if he was the one who got me (I swear I’m not that deranged lmao just thirsty)

7.

💘 Love of my Life - Simon Lynch (Almost Human)

Even now I feel like Simon should be higher, especially since I’ve written my fic about him as well as my deep dive. I’ve said it before but my heart really went out to him, the deep dive says way more than I can fit it here, which probably means he should be higher lol so give that (and maybe the fic too 👉👈😌) a read if you haven’t already, all my love for him went into both.

❣️ Honourable Mention - James Harris (The Employer)

Another adorable character, the bar flashbacks had me blushing every time. We all knew it’d be him, but I’m so glad he pulled through at the end. I want this one to be happy, especially after everything he went through. Absolutely cutiepie, gunna be the one to pay for his dinner after he gets home 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Dwight Pollard (Gotham)

Since I go into all of his roles blind, I had no idea what to expect for this one, but from the start I was hooked. Having him be a crazed cult leader with the biggest, most feral smile and laugh ever stole my heart the things I would let this man do to me sakndskjds I liveblogged his eps to a friend of mine who’s seen Gotham and has been trying to get me to watch it for ages cause I love DC, so she was thrilled as I sat here screaming about everything leading up to his ending :’D I’ve gotten some encouragement to write him, so when I do it’s gunna be so insane I’ll have to tag the hell outta it lmao (btw making these gifs nearly killed me oh my god I need him)

6.

💘 Love of my Life - Joshua Whitmore (Cass)

All the pain I went through trying to get this movie was worth it because it all led to him. I love him, I adore him, I’m so incredibly glad that so many others got to see him and love him too thanks to my trials and tribulations. DD’s only artist role, I got to connect with him on a personal level not shared with the others, and my desire to make sure he’s safe and taken care of is so strong that I wrote 26k about him, they’re two of my most favourite things I’ve ever written. I’ve thrown the ending of the movie out and completely placed it with my own, which can be found in my fics, and until Hugh Schulze DMs me personally and tells me what his vision was, that’s what I’m sticking with forever. So rest easy, he’s free from New York and buyers and dealers and the street and he’s safe and happy and painting again ;w;

❣️ Honourable Mention - Thomas Schiff (The Dark Knight)

The OG, a lot of people’s first roles of his, including mine. I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out so that means I saw him up there, on the big screen, and something about him stuck around in my brain until I finally realized my love QwQ Even if he isn’t as fleshed out in my mind to make the actual list, I still needed to include him in some way, I hope he got placed somewhere that wasn't Arkham after Batman stepped in.

🔥 Hottest Role - Cam (Relaxer)

I will never watch Relaxer again. Couldn’t even do it while I was making his scenepack cause so many horrible things happen to Abbie I couldn’t take it. But Cam, oh my god, I need this man. Someday I wanna write this huge fic about the reader trying to date him, and there’s no redemption. He’s still terrible at the end. But that’s what we all love about him, how shitty he is and how the potential is there for him to make us all worse. He sucks, but in the best way, and I kinda need him to maybe bully me please 😳 (making that first gif nearly made me blackout why is he doing pushups)

5.

💘 Love of my Life - Bob Taylor (Prisoners)

When I started adding names to my list of men I loved, Bob wasn't even on it at first I think, despite liking him in the movie. Then I saw more with him and added him to crushes. Now I’m fully in love with him, and he breaks my heart every single day. He was hurting for so long, even when we were watching I couldn’t place the blame on him while the rest of my family were convinced just like Loki that he was the one, but no matter what I couldn’t. The second I saw his sweet smile I told them there was no way it was him, and sure enough I was right. Another character who didn’t deserve what happened to him, I’ve been slowly helping him with my headcanons, but in my personal queue I have a fic planned for him and he will have no more sad days when I do 😭 I also have a bunny plush I’d had for years, my dad bought it for me and it’s been sitting on my bed ever since, and when I’m sad I hold it and pretend Bob gave it to me, it’s honestly got me through some much needed therapy because if he could go about his day with that kind of trauma then I could be brave and call about my own mental health :’)

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lonny Crane (The Belko Experiment)

This one’s a bit of a double whammy, cause I love him, but the switch to violence had me staring 👀 Either way, he didn’t deserve his death, but since it is a killing game type movie he was doomed from the start, at least his seemed instant 🥺 Someday I’ll write a fixit for him too, it was just too much for him back to back to back, he really didn’t deserve his final moments to have him as a villain even though I would really love to be lifted up like that aklskjdskds okay I’m normal again

🔥 Hottest Role - Ray Watkins (The Rookie)

Have you seen this man? No really, have you seen him? The twirl, the shirt lifting on his hips, the cold but also fun villainy, the nonchalance to mask the cruelness underneath. I need him. This one is not a Want, he is a Need and I need him. I hope that he gets to come back in the future to fully wrap up his plot along with the cop’s plot, pleasepleaseplease, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

4.

💘 Love of my Life - Kurt Goreshter (Ant-Man 1-2)

I believe he might’ve been the second role I’d ever seen, but only after I really got into the MCU after Endgame. I skipped Ant-Man in my original watches, since I was mostly just into the Avengers and Cap (mainly Bucky lol) in general, but when I finally did a full marathon I really enjoyed the first movie. Cannot remember my feelings for him now since it’s been about 4 years, but I do know when I went back to rewatch in March I fell the second I saw him 🥰 the hair, the accent, the outfit AGAIN, and those hand tattoos, this is another Perfect Man. My crush on him is incredibly strong, it told me that yeah I was really starting to fall for DD (at that point I’d just seen Demeter a few times, and then Oppenheimer on accident) and it officially kicked off my marathon that eventually led me to my collection I have today. 

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lester Billings (The Boogeyman)

My family actually watched this without me way before my crush began, so when I saw he was in it I just had to finally sit down and watch it myself. Cue me hurriedly typing to my sibling when he showed up lol this man is SAD! He’s so beautiful and sad, I just wanna make a new family with him (I would be a parent for him, that’s the extent of my love) so he can be happy again. I love the backstory I made up for him way more than the original story, sorry Stephen King but you made him awful and I don’t want that one. I’m gunna save this man and he WILL smile again, that’s a Ray Guarantee.

🔥 Hottest Role - The Vampire (Cora)

Now, to start, this one falls prey to Very Bad Writing Choices. I will not deny that. Like, even with the allegory of the whole thing (that I did not see cause I just saw a short vampire story honestly) it's very much Not Good. But that’s why I’m removing him from the short and keeping him. In fact, go read polkadotjohnson’s fics on him, they’re fantastic and I adore how she wrote him. I someday wish to do my own, because otherwise everyone who can’t look past the Very Bad Writing Choices are getting straight up robbed of this one. Those double fangs need to introduce themselves to my neck pronto, you see what I’m saying? He’s so goddamn hot, DD needs to play a very serious vampire role again so everyone can see the Vision, he wants to do it, I need to win the lottery so I can fund this movie myself, that’s my new life’s goal.

3.

💘 Love of my Life - Jack Delroy (Late Night With the Devil)

The first movie I saw in theaters after my crush began! My friend saw him in a tweet about it and linked me to it so I thought it was already out, but I ended up having to wait two weeks and it nearly killed me ;w; I went in completely blind, which is good cause the trailer spoils so many great shots unfortunately, and the entire time I was swooning. Like, I usually whisper to my sibling during movies if we have comments, we’re very talkative at home when we watch stuff, but this time I was just sitting there staring with hearts in my eyes without pause. I’m in love with this man, plain and simple, I’m so glad I was able to get to see it since it didn’t come to the theater closest, we had to drive an hour away and when dad joked about me paying for the tickets since I was the one who wanted to see it, I did in a heartbeat. I wanted to see it again, but it was only there a couple weeks, so by the time I was able to go it was gone and I’m still upset about it. I’d sell my soul for this man, I love writing for him so much, I’m so glad my crush on Wojchek bloomed just in time for me to see this.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hank (Virgin Alexander)

I avoided this one at first because the trailer was making me cringe and I was going crazy over what kinda sexy awkward role he’d have in it, but I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I think the movie is actually cute, despite some stuff still making me cringe, and Hank is literally the most perfect boyfriend. If he showed up randomly in my life I would date him in a second, hands down. He’s so shaped like a friend, I know I’d always have fun with him even when we’re not Having Fun, and that’s all you can ever ask for in a relationship 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Breck Montanari (Double Black)

Okay first of all I gave him that last name. Second of all, I wrote 70k about this man and I am so in love with him that I own him now. I’ve taken him from Sara Woomer, he’s mine now. He has a full past, gave him a future and a partner, there’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with him. Unfortunately that fic will never be shared as it’s private, but know that, again, until Sara Woomer DMs me personally and shares everything else about this world, this is my new canon for him. And the cult. And the entire area where he lives. And several of the members. And the new Double Black who was such a chill dude that I made my bff love him too. This is my secret legacy. He only lost out to my #2 because there’s no way he couldn’t be my #2.

2.

💘 Love of my Life - Wojchek (The Last Voyage of the Demeter)

The reason I finally learned his name QwQ I went into this movie blind, dad really wanted to see it and I love horror so I went with him, and the second I saw him I said, ‘Oh that guy! I know that guy!’ since by then I’d seen Kurt and Abner a few years earlier and vaguely remembered him. I spent the whole movie then dreading his end thanks to the opening lines, and I’m pretty sure I quietly yelled at the screen when he fell and then got got after praying he’d be okay TwT After Abner, he’s the first DD role I ever shipped with, and when my crush officially restarted I ended up writing my entire plot for him and Addy that night before bed. I love him so much, he’s my jolly sailor bold who stole my heart by crying over the thought of having to lose his home. He’ll forever own a special place in my heart because of all this, I can’t imagine anyone else taking this spot.

🔥 Hottest Role - Murdoc (MacGyver 2016)

Murdoc was the first TV role of his I checked out after I saw as many movies as I could that interested me (mostly all the ones on Prime sans a couple, my collection was very very small by then) and the moment I saw him be mentioned I was ready to go. The Alice in Wonderland vague text, running and then getting shocked before falling two floors, showing up with that hair, I was not prepared for everything else they were about to throw at me. Murdoc is one of my most favourite characters now, he’s so much fun, I adore everything about him, I’ve only edited with him twice and written him once, but I need to do both so much more! This one is hot as fuck, he’s adorable, he loves his son, he’s got tools, he’s utterly sadistic, he’s a silly little guy. This is another Perfect Man, I cannot wait to decide on his plot with Addy because there’s too many fun possibilities I honestly might just make multiple.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Willy Cunningham (The Domestics)

Now… you might all be thinking… why the hell is this guy a #2 honourable mention in the face of all the others… and the answer is… I’m a freak 😀 I’ll never say, but my eyes were opened to him, and my god, I will literally never be the same. I just need him and that insanely feral energy okay, lemme have this.

1.

💘 Love of my Life - Abner Krill (The Suicide Squad)

The love that started it all, I think I fell for him the moment he walked outta his cell and got teased. The love I feel for him goes so deep, it only compares to one other, and whenever I work on my plot for him and Addy I always get choked up. The ultimate one who didn’t deserve what he got, I actually refused to watch the movie again after he died, straight up did not watch until my marathon started, and as soon as I saw him in that cell it all came back. I instantly fell back in love with him, and thus his Addy plot has the most love put into it to make sure he’s happy and safe. I thought that maybe there’d be another to win my heart as my marathon grew, but nope he’s still there sharing it with my other #1, and seeing him can instantly bring a smile to my face no matter how I’m feeling. 

After the movie I read the trivia again and my crush on DD himself began, so it’s all thanks to him and Wojchek that I’ve met the people I know today and have created so many things in such a short time. When I hit my lowest low in years I just sat at my desk and held the funko I have of him and just cried it all out, and it honestly helped me get out of that spiral. Thanks to him I now have a Polka-Dot Man collection (still missing one figure and maybe a signed print and poster 👉👈🥰) and if I could get a plushie of him to join the ton I already have I’d buy him in a second. Maybe someday, if I have any courage, I’ll bring my funko or something to a con where DD is attending and get it signed, either him or my other #1, and I’ll cherish it forever.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Jude (Animals)

Like all the others, I went into this movie completely blind. I didn’t know DD wrote it or its significance to him until after it was over and the credits rolled. So the entire time I was watching I was falling in love with him, he was so incredibly my type in the moments he was actually happy that it’s insane, I spent the whole movie just saying how much I would date him in better circumstances. We were sadly betting which one of them was going to die as things just got worse, me and my sibling were watching so miserably, and then we were rewarded with a happy ending despite the bittersweetness. And then the credits rolled, after me repeatedly wondering why he’d accept a role like this after knowing at least about his addiction and it all fell into place. I haven’t been able to watch again so far now that I know a lot of what happened to Jude also happened to him, it breaks my heart too much, but I still love him deep down and I hope he was also able to heal after the credits rolled.

🔥 Hottest Role - Johnson (Reprisal)

Tied for first with Abner as the ultimate love of my life and claiming this one all to himself, Johnson is the Most Perfect Man. Literally, no other DD role can top him in my heart aside from Abner. I honestly almost skipped Reprisal entirely because the promo image on his imdb didn’t grab me (I’m such a fake fan I’m so ashamed of myself), but when I was done with everything else and wanted to see more, I downloaded it without ep9 since he wasn't in it, and started watching. What followed next was me falling so in love with the show that I spent forever trying to get that missing episode back from near dead torrents cause I needed to watch it even though he wasn't in it. Reprisal is my Roman Empire, I am constantly thinking about it and him and Matty, not just for my fic but just because I love it all so fucking much. 

Johnson himself is so fascinating, I’m incredibly in love with him and everything about him, he’s unlike any other role DD has played that there’s a complete disconnect in my mind, he’s just Johnson. He’s so goddamn hot I missed out on literally everything the first round because I was watching him so hard, Matty and Ethan were nonexistent to me and I’m madly in love with Matty now so let that sink in, and when I rewatched it immediately after with my parents it was like I was watching for the first time. I’m loving writing for him (and Matty and Ethan of course) so much that my thoughts go back to him daily, and it almost always includes me being on the verge of tears because of how insanely good this script is and how these boys bring me so much joy while also shattering my heart. 

Making the gif below no joke did make me cry like this show is my greatest weakness right now you guys don't even understand how much it and Johnson mean to me.

I need to edit more for him and them and the show in general, if I had endless money and all the confidence in the world I would truly fund this show single handedly so it can finish the way it was supposed to. I’m so mad at Hulu for giving me the greatest love(s) of my life before taking him away years before I’d ever know him, with no physical media or merch to at least collect to numb the pain. At some point I need to get some promo pics printed out as actual posters, I need this show on my wall so I can always see him.

[normal-internet-user]

I accidentaly deleted an ask, so here it is,

HAPPY B-DAY @wuts-stuff 🎉🎉🍰

BAYVERSE BOYS ON READERS BIRTHDAY

Leo:

Wether you're dating or not,

You will not be spending your birthday alone.

Leo will plan an entire day full of fun activities for the two of you to do.

(He also wanted to make you a cake, but he's banned from the kitchen, so Mikey made one for you)

He'll make sure his brothers are on their best behavior, there will be no funny buisness on (Name)'s birthday, no sir.

If parties aren't really your thing, he's more than happy to spend the day in your apartment or even in his own room, as long as he gets to celebrate your birthday.

If you guys are dating, he plays diffrent oldies records for the two of you to slow dance you.

(Specifically, Blue Moon by Mel Tormè, golly I love that song)

As for your gift,

He makes you a beautiful traditional ink painting.

He had asked April to get him the supplies, and once she had, he'd been working on it everyday since.

The day ends in a sleepover, the two of you watching your favorite movie <3

Raph:

You?

Spending your birthday alone?

Absolutely not.

If he has to drag you out of your apartment to come spend your birthday in the Lair, he will.

I'm serious, he will.

If you hate celebrating your birthday for some reason or other,

He's happy just being around you.

As long as he gets to see you happy.

I keep seeing this headcanon that Raph makes jewlery out of old bottles and other glass junk,

And I completely agree.

He most definitly makes you a necklace with a bright red shard of glass in the center.

It's so pretty and you can't stop thanking him for it.

He'll probably be all humble on the outside, ya know? "Nah, don't mention it, shorty."

But on the inside, your constant thanks and praise of the present is definitly stroking his ego.

Mikey:

Omg it's your birthday, no way!

He calls you at midnight to tell you happy birthday because he wanted to be the first one to say it.

He will stay on the phone with you his whole way to your apartment.

Once he's inside he'll pick you up with a big 'ol smile and start spining around your apartment singing happy birthday.

You have to tell him to quiet down before he wakes up the entire building.

If you don't mind parties, prepare yourself my friend.

Mikey is literally the party dude, this is going to be the best birthday bash of your life.

If parties aren't really your thing, he'll just hang with you at your aparment all day,

You two will do a little of everything,

Bake your cake,

Play some video games,

Watch some movies,

All that jazz.

His gift is a skateboard of your own that he styled the bottom of,

Like I've said in previous Mikey headcanons if you don't know how to skateboard, he's 100% teaching you.

And now you have your own board to learn on!

Donnie:

Donnie spends weeks before your birthday planning things out.

Everything needs to be absolutely perfect, nothing any less than will be acceptable.

He has two sepreate plan sheets,

One for if you'll be spending the day at the Lair,

And another if you'll want to spend the day in your apartment.

He's fine either way, just so long as he gets to make you feel special on your birthday.

Donnie makes a point of the two of you doing all your favorite things,

Wether it be baking, painting, or even napping,

Anything you enjoy doing is something you'll do on your birthday.

His gift to you is a sweater you had said you liked while the two of you were on a walk a while back.

He had April buy it for him and he gave it to you much to your excitment.

It makes him happy everytime he see's you wear it.

.........................................

There you go, I hope you have a very happy birthday @wuts-stuff 💕💕

[stardewvalleybut-i-draw]

I make mini-comics and art of Stardew Valley characters!

(animations and writings too if I'm up to it)

I post art on Monday and Friday and Wednesday is for everything else!

All my art will be tagged with -> #SDVBID art

QNA stuff and Answer archive!

inbox answers are tagged with #ask if you want to look through that!

Templates I use

Below is my Comics, Art, Doodles, and everything else organized and labeled with specific character appearances, enjoy!

Vulnerability- Alex, Me???

A little jealous- Rasmodious, Farmer

Gossip- Caroline, Abigail, Pierre, Rasmodius, Farmer

"Experimental noise" they said.- Sam, Abigail, Sebastian, Farmer, Jodi, Vincent, Leo, Linus

Bots- My chicken

Golden Scythe!- Farmer

Hair cuts!- Marnie, Shane, Emily

You weren't supposed to do that- Elliott

Two types of winter players: Farmers

Double trouble bubble brew!- (part 3) Penny, Alex, Abigail, Farmers, Harvey, Maru, Sam

Trouble continues to brew!- (part 2) Harvey, Maru, Abigail, Alex

Trubble in the Spirits Eve Maze- (part 1) Abigail, Alex

A different point of view- Leah

A head cannon of mine...- Farmer

Stalker vibes- (2 panell) Farmer, Sebastian, Robin

Happy 1-year anniversary/birth to me!🎉

Salad and Steaks- Farmer, Alex

Lewis in gold

Let me in! (animation)- Demetrius, Farmer

Marlon headcanon art

He would NEVER!... or would he?- Mr Qi

Harvey and his planes

Happy Valentine's Day!- Krobus

Not Invited- Pam, Willy, Marnie, Lewis, Robin, Gus

Haley's material girl arc

Here's a chicken animation I made- Chickens :)

High Score- Sam, Sebastian

Feast of the Winter Star- Jas, Farmers, Lewis, Abigail

Emily's old hairstyle

A pirates wife- Birdie

Alex

Say cheese!- Krobus

Scarecrows and Rarecrows- Farmers

Harvey- with bonus one pannel comic- BLOOD

Winter Jas

3rd time's the charm!- Farmers

Favoritism- Farmers

How the Farmers Heal- Harvey- BLOOD/CUTS

Controversial Alex opinions

Emily in a jester outfit!

Favorite and least favorite- Krobus, Bouncer guy

SHADOW WIZARD MONEY GANG- Mr Qi, Rasmodious, Grandpa

Who has the longer hair?- Elliott, Farmer

Sam with check it face meme

Family Dinner night- Sam, Farmer, Vincent, Jodi

Shane's canonical birthday

Sick farmers characterization

He's just standing there...MENACINGLY- Sebastian, Jas

The smallest :)- Harvey

8th anniversary of Stardew- Junimos

Haley x Femm Farmer

Farmer Grandpa phone doodle

Haley holding lesbian flag

Mask Farmer doodles

Abigail bonus doodles

Halloween Ref for comic- Penny, Harvey, Maru, Alex, Abigail, Sam

Mr. Qi ref

Rasmodius ref

Shane ref

Penny and Abigail ref

Maru, Leah, Farmers, Harvey, Elliott, Alex, Sam ref

Old base farmer ref (Fem)

Old base farmer ref (Mask)