#I'm inspired to write part three of if given the chance now...

[espinosaurusrexex]

[illbegottenfaith]

lucky pt 2 - theo nott x reader

after the Felix Felicis incident, your relationship with theo has dramatically changed, for better and for worse

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

a/n - by popular demand! rip my title tho the best alternative I could come up with was ‘feminine ass-kicking’ but idk if that’s too out there. also I’ve started part 3 too! (which should be the final part) this was kind of inspired by gilmore girls season 6 :)

tropes/warnings - academic rivals to lovers, angst, slow burn, miscommunication

word count - 2.1k

The Felix Felicis incident had given the both of you much to think about. Outwardly, you maintained the appearance that nothing had changed between the two of you, taking snipes at each other every now and then. But every night, before you’d fall asleep, your mind would wander back to that evening at the Astronomy Tower, the sight of Theo and the harsh contours of his face softened by the forgiving setting sun. Every night, he asks if you have anything else to say. Every night, you shake your head.

And as much as you’d like to pretend otherwise, things had changed between you. Theo became more reserved, somehow, less determined to spar with you. Your fights didn’t hold anywhere near the spark they once did. And you hated it. You hated that it bothered you, you hated that it upset you, you hated that it was all you could think about every time you were in the same classroom as him. It just wasn’t fair.

What also wasn’t fair was your entire group falling sick the day before an extremely crucial Potions project was due. They were all more than apologetic, but it didn’t change the fact that months worth of work to complete in one night if you wanted even a semblance of a chance at passing.

Which was how Theodore Nott found you in the library late one night, pouring over five gnarly tomes on Potions from the Medieval era, writing what looked like three essays at once. You flinched when you heard a noise near the bookshelves, and your mood wasn’t much improved when you saw who it was.

“Trying to read every book in one night, L/N?”

You wanted to roll your eyes. After weeks of stunted conversation, now that it was just the two of them, he was suddenly feeling chatty?

“I'm busy. Buzz off.”

Ignoring you, Theo crept closer, tilting his head to read what you were haphazardly scribbling.

“The Potions project? But we started that months ago. And it’s due tomorrow.”

You swept the papers up out of his sight. You were already in a testy mood to begin with and you were in no mood to have him crow over your bad luck.

“What part of ‘buzz off’ don’t you get?”

“Where are your groupmates?”

“Sick.”

“Sick?”

“They all went on some Hogsmeade trip together, the whole lot of them. They all caught it from each other and they’re supposed to be stupidly contagious.”

“But their reports should be fine.”

“They were, until Madam Pomfrey declared them a biohazard.” Your head was beginning to hurt from the bottled-up frustration. You knew it wasn’t their fault for falling sick, but now you had to pull an all-nighter just so you wouldn’t fail. You stood and walked past him to the shelves, pulling out any and every book that remotely looked like it might help. 

You glanced at the clock, mentally calculating how much time you’d need. There was no way you could get it all done by 9 am. Feeling quite proud of yourself for successfully giving Theo the same cold shoulder he had been giving you the past couple of weeks, you walked to the library telephone and started dialing the number to Slughorn’s office. One of the only people who could help you now was Jeeves, Slughorn’s teaching assistant, provided he was in a good enough mood.

“Jeeves, hi. Yes, I know it’s late, but I was wondering if you could delay the Potions project submission by just an hour? I’m sure Slughorn wouldn’t mind. It’s just my entire team fell sick all at once, and Madam Pomfrey threw out everything they’ve touched in the past three days, including their reports. I know it's due 9 am but couldn’t you bend the rule a little, just this once? For me?”

You rubbed your forehead anxiously, an unpleasant expression on your face as you tried to follow whatever Jeeves was yammering about punctuality. When he moved on to the importance of personal accountability, you felt like you were going to combust if you didn’t shut him up soon.

“Y’know, Jeeves,” you interrupted with a dramatic sigh, dropping your voice, “just the other day I was thinking about that one Quidditch match you had played a couple of years back. Yes, that one game you subbed in for the Chaser? I have to say, you’re no slouch yourself out on the pitch. You sure look like you know your way around a broom. Yes, exactly, way better than those oafs on the team. I always thought it was a shame you didn’t make the cut - one hour. Yes, yes, that’s all I need. Thank you, thank you!”

You hung up, already feeling much more hopeful with the one-hour extension. All that was left to do was slave away for the rest of the night, and by morning you’d have a more than acceptable report ready.

“…what was that?”

You started, having nearly forgotten who was with you. “What was what?” You asked, half-distracted, once again absorbed in rearranging the layout of your Potions project.

“That, with the - ‘you look like you know your way around a broom?’ Really?”

You glanced at Theo, frowning. “Well, how do you get what you want?”

You turned your gaze back to the book splayed out in front of you, missing the brief look of longing that passed over Theo’s face. “Hmm. Bribery, mainly.”

“Right,” you said slowly, a hint of sarcasm in your tone underneath the flurry of activity. “That trust fund isn’t going to spend itself, now is it?”

“My trust fund doesn’t kick in ‘til I’m 25, tesoro.”

You wanted to kick yourself when your heart fluttered over the stupidly endearing pet name. You didn’t realise how much you missed it. “Oh, oh, of course. Mr. Moneybags here is just absolutely rolling in it even without his trust fund. How could I forget?”

“Mr. Moneybags? That’s the best you can come up with?”

You huffed without any real annoyance. You walked over to where Theo was lounging as he lazily watched you spin like a top between the bookshelves. He had the decency to sit up slightly as you approached and dumped the stack of papers into his lap.

“Look, Nott, I’m on a time crunch here. So either help me or get out.”

Theo looked up at you without a trace of mockery in his otherwise teasing blue eyes. You willed yourself to not look away. 

“Yes, ma'am.”

You made the mistake of holding his gaze. A beat passed, then two. It seemed that it was surprisingly impossible for either of you to look away. Finally, you snapped out of it, mentally giving yourself a good shake as you hurried out of his magnetic field back to the table. If you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought you were flirting with him.

“Wha -?”

“Toast. From breakfast.”

You glanced around the room bleary-eyed, seizing Theo’s wrist a little harder than necessary as you blinked the sleep out of your eyes. As much as you hated to admit it, last night had gone better than you could have ever hoped. It helped to have another pair of hands and a brain that was almost as good as yours. Unfortunately, you must have nodded off at some point, 

Cursing as you finally made out the time on his watch, you peeled off the piece of parchment stuck to your face and continued writing, even as every muscle in your palm protested. Theo rolled his eyes and stuck the toast in your mouth, which you mindlessly nibbled on for the next hour or so. 

When you were finally done, you stuck your group’s names on the cover page and the two of you hurried down to Slughorn’s office a little before 10 o clock. Jeeves, good man that he was, was still in. But your relief was short-lived.

Jeeves did an insufferably exaggerated impression of reading the time as you walked in. “It’s 2 past 10. I’m afraid I can’t accept your submission.”

This was it. You reached your limit. You weren’t running on what was at most 2 hours of sleep just for some self-important dimwit of a teaching assistant to refuse your submission.

You grabbed the collar of Jeeves’ shirt, manhandling him with hours' worth of frustration. “Listen here, Jeeves. You will accept my group’s submission if you want to walk out of here with every part of your anatomy intact. You will take these essays I have here and you will accept them graciously, Merlin help you if you don’t.”

“What happened to using your feminine wiles?” asked Theo, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Yeah, well, now I’m more in the mood for a feminine ass-kicking. Jeeves, come on. ”

You only released him when Theo placed a calming hand on your wrist. He reached into his pocket, offering something to a very red-faced and highly affronted Jeeves.

“C’mon, Jeeves. Maybe we could make this more worth your while.”

You hesitated, torn. On the one hand, you were raised better than to bribe people or accept financial aid, especially when you didn’t really need it. On the other hand, this project was worth 40% of your grade and Jeeves was being a little bitch. 

Jeeves mulled over the coins in his palm, taking his sweet time appraising them. Just as it looked like he was about to ask for something a little more, you slammed a hand on his desk.

“Alright, fine, hand it over.”

Once you’d finally successfully submitted your project, the two of you walked out of Slughorn’s office in a daze. Without the stress of the impending deadline to act as a buffer between you, a certain awkwardness started to set in. Theo had his hands in his pockets, rubbing at a scuffed patch on the floor with his shoe.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you started, but he waved off your protests. Still, no one pulls an all-nighter for just about anyone.

“So how much did you give him?”

Theo sighed. “L/N.”

But you were already pulling out your coin purse. “It can’t have been more than what I have on me now.”

“Y/N.” You stopped counting out your coins. He was looking at you strangely, like he didn’t understand what he was doing either. “Forget it. Really.”

Reluctantly, you pocketed your coin purse. A hysterical sort of giddiness was starting to set in. “We did it.”

“You did it.”

Maybe it was the long night of endless writing or your grumbling stomach. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. Or maybe it was the way he was looking at you now, with a smile so sincere like he was genuinely so proud of you. Whatever it was, you took a step towards him, and then another before throwing your arms around his neck.

It was a little less dignified than you would have hoped, what with you trembling with barely any sleep and the vestiges of caffeine-induced adrenaline and him having the audacity of being a whole head taller than you since sixth year. But he steadied you before you could tip back, his arms resting around your waist. You had never shaken hands, much less hugged each other, but something about it felt so warm, comforting, familiar. The feel of his solid body pressed against yours didn’t feel so terrible.

But as you pulled apart, you caught sight of his expression, and your face fell. He wasn’t smiling like you, not anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, immediately feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. He still wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look angry either. He looked - you couldn’t tell how he looked. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear almost regretfully, before turning to leave.

“Don’t.”

Theo paused. He didn’t turn to face you.

“Don’t do this, Nott. Don’t be cold. Don’t be distant.”

He adjusted the shoulder strap of his satchel. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was nervous. “I have Charms to get to.” He turned his head slightly but not enough to meet your gaze. “You should get a proper breakfast.”

And then he left, as if he had no idea what you were talking about. As if the last twelve hours hadn’t occurred. As if he hadn’t felt the void festering between you the past couple of weeks.

As if he didn’t care about you.

Part 3

[atiyasnake]

just finished crawling through your master post, got any wips trapped in your head or what was your favorite to write?

That, my friend, is a dangerous question to ask... mostly due to the fact that if given the chance, I could go on for a concerningly long time about what wips I have stuck in my head.

So favorites (that at this moment I am typing right now can remember):

Accidental crime boss au :' Wait, I'm a what? Fic

The concussion and mistaken identities au

Hit the deck au

Visitors? (old document au where Jack used to work at Wayne industries)

Stolen core au

But honestly really like all of them because there were so many different kinds of prompts that caught my attention and made me just wanna start writing. Different aspects that call my attention ya know. A little hard to keep track of here on tumblr (for example, this ask that I thought I somehow lost and just found).

With so many, it sucks that I haven't been able to fully write out full fics for most of them :( . I STILL haven't finished part two of the 'What Protects from the Shadows', and that was one of my first ones I did I think. Like legit, I have an outline but now I wanna add things and make some changes and just ajdjskdjakdjs stuff. It's mocking me in my Google docs.

Recently the Stole core au has been rattling around in my head, I've written basically a third chapter and with the point that it's one the fic Bare is probably gonna be longer than just three chapters. 5 if I'm lucky to be honest at the max. BUT THEN I still have plans/ideas for a third part of that series Epmty Soaces on ao3 (which is the Stolen core au from here on tumblr).

Concussions and Mistaken Identities!! I have another unreleased part to that as well, it's ridiculous and every once in a while I wanna add more. It's probably gonna become it's own fic on ao3.

(Once I post a fic on ao3 though, it's another WIP that I KNOW I can't abandon. So I worry about posting if I don't have majority or a good portion of it planned out. Dont wanna leave yall hanging.)

Hit the decks au by @omnicrafts and @ailithnight is another one two that I keep working on in my Google docs as well and that I would love eventually post on ao3 as well. Just the soft angst of it had me in a chokehold. (Please check out the other branches of the prompt!)

A Successful Sacrifice as well is another one that I could potentially write a part 2 for a series. I literally have another 3,000 something words worth of it that I could post (and maybe I will). I find myself going back to it rereading and then working on the draft I have.

Honestly I'm always going back to my docs to work on MANY of the wips and prompt fills that you have seen AND not seen that came from tumblr. Everyone has such awesome ideas that spark inspiration and then I just wanna write a whole ass story for it.

It's a lovely feeling but damn, I do not have nearly enough time for all of them.

And this is me holding back on fully getting into a bunch of other wips and prompts😅

[nessataleweaver]

FIC: 12 days of HellCheer: Day One

So busy trying to get my new fanfic project up on AO3, I forgot to put it up on tumblr!

Welcome to my Christmas project; I'm finally pulling the trigger and writing some HellCheer.

Much like my last Christmas project, this will be written by the seat of my pants and very probably run late.  Here's hoping I can finish it by the time ST5 premieres; the last project took  a year to finish, and it was only five parts!

Technical note:  'the Twelve days of Christmas' is actually meant to begin on December 25; the last day of Christmas is January 6, which is why you used to occasionally hear about 'Twelfth Night' parties to finish off the holiday season.  January 6 is also known as 'Ephiphany', and is supposed to be when the Three Magi arrived with the first Christmas presents for baby Jesus. Given that none of the presents were able to be used by the baby in question for twenty-odd years (and in the case of the myrhh, until he died) I personally think they maybe should have gone with baby LEGO.  Or a nice mobile made out of stars and heavenly clouds.  But that's just me. 

Warning; these will all be AU's, mostly inspired by anything I've recently finished watching or reading.  If anyone has any suggestions/requests, leave them in the comments!

You can read it on AO3 here

DAY ONE: ...And a bird-headed guy in a VRMMO

INSPIRATION: the anime Shangri-La Frontier. You can watch it on crunchyroll.  Don't skip through the intro because all their opening songs are absolute bangers.  If you have seen it, you'll know who I'm basing Chrissy on in particular.

It is the present day.

All currently available video games are now played on Virtual Reality Headsets, giving players an unparalleled sensory experience.  By far the most popular game in the world is 'Shangri-La Frontier', known far and wide as a 'god-tier game', with 30 million players world-wide.Eddie Munson, a devoted player of 'trash-pile' games, has now begun playing SLF. What adventures await him there?

The town square of Fourfolkshire was bustling as always, as it was also the main thoroughfare for the market district. 

In one corner, however, there was a peculiar hush. 

A distinct gap in the crowd spread around a tall metallic figure, a literal knight in shining armour, the sunlight glinting off the impeccably polished magi-steel.

<i>"That's Psyger-0!"

"The Attack Master? Isn't he part of the MindScape Clan?  The first ones to take down the Level Twenty Boss?"

"Yeah. Wonder what he's doing here?"</i>

Inside the armour, a five foot three teenage girl cast her gaze around nervously, hidden by her impressive helmet.  Her Clan Headquarters was in Eighthold; normally Chrissy, aka Psyger-0, wouldn't be caught dead in such a low game level.  But her Clan was about to start a major campaign in the Castle of Lost Souls on level Twelve, and Fourfolkshire had items to turn undead considerably cheaper than anywhere else in SLF.  She'd lost the dice roll to make the trek down to pick up the order.

It was just her luck to have to come down today; Jason had mentioned at lunch that he, Andy and Chance were going grinding.

Chrissy wasn't sure she'd ever forgive her stupid little brother for mentioning to Jason that she played SLF after her boyfriend received a VR headset for a birthday present. Jason had immediately demanded she join a party with him, so 'he could protect her' (i.e. making sure he was completely informed about every single aspect of her life). Matty had lessened his chances of being maimed beyond repair by immediately pointing out that Chrissy wouldn't be able to level-up or do anything fun in the game that way, which was the entire point.  Chrissy had carefully hidden her pleasure in informing Jason she'd been part of a Clan for over a year, and they didn't take applicants.  When Jason had wanted her to force them to make an exception for him, she'd gotten a genuine thrill out of telling him the Clan Leader, who she had no influence with, didn't even open the door for players under level 20, and a very low threshold for newbies harassing her. She'd reported ten such players to the moderators this year alone.

All of which was true, except for the lack of influence part. As a current top-500 player and the War Leader of MindScape, she had a great deal of influence in the Clan.

SLF, and specifically Psyger-0, was her release and escape from the pressure cooker of her real life. No one cast judgement on her weight, her appearance, or whether she was doing something her mother or boyfriend considered appropriate. She said what she wanted, did what she wanted, and no one ever made crude sexual comments about her.  If that ever happened, she didn't have to wait for her boyfriend to censure them (even though he never did, just laughed and grabbed her possessively to better show off his prize) she could just draw her broadsword and cut them in half.

In her head, Chrissy knew the chances of running into Jason here were almost literally one in a million.  Right from the start, Chrissy had invoked every privacy setting offered on the VR headset and in SLF to protect her identity, including an anonymous email address. The day after Matty spilled the beans, she'd blocked contact from anyone who wasn't already on her friends list. And Andy had been complaining at lunch that he, Jason and Chance (because God forbid Jason do something without an in-built audience to praise him) were still stuck in Diremarsh Waste on level two.  Even if Jason walked right past her, he was too hidebound to connect his tiny, pretty, cheerleader trophy-girlfriend to a six and a half foot tall walking suit of armour, famed for their aggressive style of play that laid waste to every opponent in their path and had once solo-killed every floor boss in the first ten levels in a single day on a bet.

But her instinct, her fears of losing the only place she wasn't constantly under scrutiny and being questioned and judged, was another story.

Then a head of sky-blue feathers crossed her eyeline, and her nerves calmed even as her heart-rate increased.

The player raising their hand in a friendly wave was clearly a male build; the fact he wore nothing but a bird-head luchador mask, loose shorts in a matching blue, and a set of intimidating scars over his torso and legs made that clear.  He was muscled like a gymnast, due to his hit and run style of play, and Chrissy had wondered more than once just how much Sunraku's character build matched his real life body.

Because Chrissy was one of the very few people in SLF who knew who the man under the bird mask was.

Eddie Munson.  Founder of Hawkins High's VR gaming club, and still the President.

When Chrissy had bought her first VR headset from Family DVD and Games, the clerks Robin and Steve had been having a lively debate about Eddie, and just how many games he'd played, mastered, and returned for re-sale.  Apparently Eddie found most elite games boring, and specialised in 'trash-piles', games that were issued with bugs or badly-thought out plotting or world building that only an experienced gamer could master or even complete.  During that conversation (Chrissy had waited a good five minutes for them to notice her standing there) Robin had mentioned that Eddie always used the same character name, and what it was.

Chrissy had tried out a half-dozen games before SLF.  In every one she'd immediately searched for 'Sunraku'.

From her very first day of high school, Chrissy had been utterly fascinated by Eddie Munson.  Not because he was very good-looking once you looked past the chronically uncombed hair, gaming / heavy metal themed Tshirts and mocking expression - even though he was.  But because Eddie Munson was thoroughly, unapologetically himself.  He went his own way, said what he thought and gave absolutely no fucks what anyone outside his small circle of friends thought about him. He didn't let toxic masculinity ideals stop him from being unfailingly kind to his friends and 'sheepies', or anyone else who needed some help. He treated everyone on their own merits, and how they treated him. He didn't care about reputation or community status. Anyone who tried to judge him was flipped off with a wide grin.

Chrissy craved Eddie Munson's sense of self and way of life like a flower craved the sun and rain, though the closest she could get was to bask in his presence.  But Gossip Girl (original or reboot) had nothing on a small town's grapevine; the only place safe for Chrissy to spend time with Eddie was online.  Thus her hunting Sunraku through a daisy-chain of games.

She'd spent a year in SLF, growing her character and building her rep, before Eddie finally showed up. She'd agonized over how to introduce herself in-game, then found out he was being hunted. He'd somehow stumbled into an incredibly rare quest, and a player too inexperienced to know better had put up a screen-shot of him in the forums. Chrissy had figured out his route, and showed up just in time to prevent him getting player-killed.

Sunraku and Psyger-0 had been on each other's friends list ever since.

"Hey, Zero-Rei!  What brings you down to the single-digits?" Sunraku asked.

"Picking up equipment for a raid.  What about you?"

"Something similar," Sunraku looked around in a way that was probably meant to be casual, but screamed 'I'm up to something.'  Somehow, the full-head mask wore the exact same expression as Eddie did in the real world when he was trying to talk Ms O'Donnell into letting him do a paper on comparing the Iron Maiden and Coleridge versions of 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner'.

"Uh huh," Chrissy let scepticism enter her voice.  She could actually express a dissenting opinion without getting criticised in SLF.

Sunraku's eyes widened, as he gave an exaggerated shrug, his arms bent to show his empty palms at shoulder level. "Whaaatt?"

Chrissy just tilted her head at him.  She'd become very good at emoting without words in SLF.

Sunraku sighed. "I'm powerless against your fiendish interrogation techniques.  Yeah, a couple of friends I've played with in other games are on SLF, and we're teaming up for a mission.  Small team only, so I can't give you details until after the fact."

"When are you making your move?"

"Sorry," Sunraku mimed zipping his beak. "Timing's a big part of it, so no can do.  I should be done by next weekend, so if I don't have to re-grind levels we can do a side quest together? Maybe something in the Garden of Singing Flowers?" 

"I could use some crystallized pollen." Chrissy conceded. "DM me once you're done?  This mission must be something news-worthy if you're this secretive.  I'll keep quiet on any info worth trading."

Sunraku gave a cheerful wave as he scurried off.

Chrissy sighed.  How could five minutes with Eddie online put her in a better mood than an hour with anyone else in her offline life?

< NOW OFFLINE >

canon images from Shangri-La Frontier:

Psyger-0

Sunraku

[dereks-husband]

Part 2 of my DEREK X GN!READER fic because I'm in love

Ok here's Part 2! It was going to be longer, but what I wrote is already longer than Part 1 so I had to cut it in half, or maybe turn it into three parts, I have ideas lmaooo Thank you so much to anyone who reads this, and let me know what you think!!

Also does anyone have a title idea? My general idea was that they were all going to be little snapshots as you age with Derek, so I wanted to utilize the game's word of Moments, but can't get anywhere past that. Help??? Additionally, would anyone like me to share the playlist I've been listening to while writing these? It's songs inspiring the story at large, like this Part was influenced by "Teenage Dream" if anyone cares lol

Whatever Derek wanted to ask you about the weekend he came home from camp died on his lips when his coach blew that whistle. In his defense, his texts reflected the toll the rest of his training camp took on him, both physically and mentally. The amount of times he messaged you after his shower, and then very clearly fell asleep with his phone in his hand was almost comical. You were able to message him during his entire ride home, though! He didn’t want to call because he “didn’t want to disturb his teammates” which is very him, but secretly you knew it was because he didn’t want you to hear them making fun of him again. 

The most fortunate outcome of the whole situation was that, though you didn’t get to see him when he got home, his first home game was only the following Friday, so you weren’t kept in suspense long. You started classes the Thursday before he came home, and he was thrown right into the fire by starting the Monday after camp, so while you were sad about the weekend, you were able to keep yourself busy. Between the classes you decided to take that were a bit harder than what you were used to taking, and your various club responsibilities you were able to stay distracted, until you got to Friday. 

That day you couldn’t sit still to save your life. Luckily, you had some teachers that you’ve been in class with before who were generally chill, so they didn’t mind you pacing back and forth in the back of the classroom as you needed. When the final bell rang, you were out the door and on the road to his family’s home before anyone else even managed to get out of the building, you were just that ready to get to him.

Despite the fact that you were definitely driving over the speed limit, belting every song on the radio, and overall just not being as safe as you usually were, you made it to the Suarez home in one piece and without a ticket. Jorge was sitting in the lobby when you walked in and he jumped up, a little wide-eyed, quickly glancing at your overnight bag.

“Jorge! How’s my favorite middle Suarez?!” you exclaimed as you wrapped him up in a familial embrace.

He couldn’t stop the blush burning his entire face. He mumbled something incoherent into your shoulder, but at least this time he didn’t hesitate to return your hug immediately. You broke off the hug and put your hands on his shoulders, looking him over, “wow Jorge! You’re almost as tall as Derek is now, yeah?”

Bashfully he avoids eye contact, “I grew almost a foot this summer…”

“Oh wow! Well that explains it!” you beam at him, happy to see the young teen, not much older than you were when you met him for the first time, looking like he’s doing well. “So tell me, how was your first week of high school? Was it as intimidating as you thought it would be?” You added, simply because you knew that of all the Suarez boys, Jorge is by far the most timid, and you can’t help but worry that people aren’t giving him the chance he deserves. 

“It was fine. You beat Nico home.” He added quickly, finally looking you in the eye.

You took a moment to blink away the shock that must have been evident on your face, given the way his eyes widened in surprise over your reaction. “I did? So you weren’t my welcoming party at all then?” you add, pretending to wipe a tear away.

“No! I was waiting for both of you, I just was expecting Nico to be the one here first,” he says, doing his best to reassure you.

“Well okay then, glad to hear it,” you smile at him again. “I didn’t realize that I had gotten here so early, but I can wait with you for Nico if you’d like?”

“If you want,” he replies, and then sits back in the chair he was in when you arrived. 

The two of you sat together for a bit, chatting about different things, clubs, how many puzzles he’s done since you last saw him, how his summer was, if there’s anyone in school he might be interested in, which earned you another full face blush and a slack-jawed look. Eventually Nico’s bus dropped him off and after a brief greeting the three of you headed up to the apartment. 

When you got there you found the Suarez parents geared up for the game, fully painted faces, and wearing the school colors in just about everything they were wearing, jerseys, big sunglasses, feather boas, hats, this family is truly full of all-or-nothing people. Laughing, you greet them before quickly running your bag down to Derek’s room, and changing into your own fan outfit, including the extra jersey Derek left laying on his bed for you to wear. You grab your poster and beaded necklaces out of your bag. You’ve bought one for every game you’ve been to. You’re aiming to get to 50 this year, and with tonight and Halloween being a lock for attending you would only have to go to three other games. However, the goal is only to reach 50, you would have absolutely no problem with going over. 

Walking back into the hall, you find that Nico has already finished changing, including changing his signature hair clips to be ones that fit the color scheme. The two of you head back to the living room together, all the while he’s cracking jokes about the amount of necklaces you have adorning your body, way too many to just put around your neck anymore. You have many wrapping up your arms, a couple that you put around your ankles, and the rest are just clipped together and hanging down your back, almost like a cape. The one for tonight’s game is in your pocket, because at some point it became tradition that Derek adds it to your ever-growing pile.

Once in the living room, you find that Jorge got his face painted while you and Nico were occupied, so the two of you take a seat at the counter and the Suarez parents, each armed with a different color, make quick work of the two of you, and then you’re all quickly moving out the door.

Luckily, the trip to the field is short, so while you’re all filled with nervous energy, you’re able to start moving around again quickly, before any of you can get too antsy. When you arrive, you find the teams already on the field, doing stretches and last minute drills. Looking at the scoreboard you see that there’s still about 20 minutes until the game is actually going to start, which also means they’ll head back to the locker rooms soon. Mrs. Suarez gives you a knowing look, and says they’ll make sure to save you a seat and nods towards the concession stand. You give a quick “thanks” and run off, trying to give yourself as much time as you can. At the concession stand you order a lemonade and a bottle of water, and then run back to the fence, next to the gate where the team will pass on their way back to the locker room. You check the scoreboard again, 15 minutes until the game starts.

You hear whistles being blown, both by coaches and the refs, alerting the players that it’s time to head back for last minute play changes and pep talks. Standing on your tiptoes, you search for him in the crowd of players making their way toward you. Within seconds you spot him, towards the back of the crowd, looking out at the stands, a warm smile on his face, so you know he spotted his family. In what feels like slow motion, you watch as he turns his head in your direction, and you can tell the moment he sees you. He freezes, shocked, even though you always do this so why is he surprised? Your face hurts from the smile splitting it in half.and suddenly he’s beaming, smiling so big it feels like you’re staring directly into the sun, but you couldn’t make yourself look anywhere else if you tried. He breaks into a sprint directly at you, passing his teammates so fast they have no idea what happened to cause the gust of wind now whipping around them.

Before the first of them can even reach the gate, he’s through and lifting you off the ground in an embrace, even spinning you to stop his momentum from throwing you both down. After you’re done spinning you both just pause there for a few beats, him still lifting you, you wrapping yourself around him, both of you breathless and giddy. After a few more beats, definitely more than you would expect from just a friend, you hear him gasp in your ear “hey you,” and he finally puts you down. 

“Hey yourself,” you reply, a blush covering both of your faces. You hold out your offerings to him and he lights up. 

“You know what I like!” he yelps, grabbing the lemonade and taking only one, long, drink from it, before handing it back to you and taking the water. He can’t take the lemonade with him, so you’ll make sure to run down before the game is over and get him his own for after, but he can take the water so you’ve never failed to make sure you get one for him when you come to his games. “They’re lucky” he told you once, and knowing that you have your own superstitions when it comes to your games you’re not about to stop doing it for him. 

“Some might say I’m an expert on you,” you grin, grabbing his free hand with yours and taking your own sip from your lemonade. “I don’t want to keep you though,” you add, bashfully avoiding the eyes of his teammates passing behind him who are just openly staring at the two of you.

“Oh, er, yeah, thanks,” he replies, pretending like the two of you don’t have an audience exclusively made of his peers. 

“God, could you two get a room?!” You hear one of the other players shout, before he’s muzzled by some of the other players who are all trying their best to not burst into laughter, but you can tell they want to by the way their shoulders are shaking.

You look back to Derek and he’s standing there, mouth agape, frozen, his face more red than you’ve ever seen it before. With one hand already occupied, and not willing to let go until you have to, you reach the lemonade cup up and touch it to his cheek. He practically jumps out of his skin, causing you to get into a quick lapse of giggles. When you face him again, he’s looking at you through lidded eyes and wearing his smirkiest smirk, the one that comes from needing to compete with your challenges, “so it’s like that then?”

“I don’t know what you could be talking about!” You feign innocence and bat your eyelashes at him, giving him your best doe eyes.

“Alright Casanova, you and your friend here have had long enough, let’s go,” one of his coaches calls behind him. 

You look up at the scoreboard and see that, yes, you’ve been here for almost 5 minutes. There’s only 10 minutes and a handful of seconds left before the game starts. You give his hand one last squeeze before letting go, because if it were up to him he might just drag you around the field all night. “Go get ‘em,” you say, giving him one more warm smile which he returns with a dopey-looking grin of his own, before you both turn away and head to your respective teams.

9 minutes to kickoff, you squeeze your way through the stands full of fans until you make your way to the cluster of Suarezs. Luckily they managed to get a spot in the very front, though it seemed like they found a space meant for two people and were trying to squeeze the five of you in it. Even though Nicolas and Jorge were standing on the seats and were generally smaller, it still made for a bit of a squeeze, but you already counted them as family, your future in-laws ideally, so you had no problem being a little close. The five of you chatted with each other and the other people around you for the next 5 minutes, but eventually you couldn’t help yourself from staring at the scoreboard as it counted down.

At 4 minutes to kickoff music started playing from the speakers, “Centuries” by Fall Out Boy, and you couldn’t help but give a quick laugh at the song choice before quickly getting swept up in the change of energy in the crowd, noting that this song was actually pretty perfect for getting the crowd excited.

2 minutes to go, and suddenly confetti cannons go off by the locker rooms and the teams take to the field. People in the crowd start yelling as players take the field, but knowing that he’s captain and would probably be towards the back you save your voice until you’re absolutely sure he’ll be able to hear you. “Let’s go Suarez!” You scream louder than you ever have before. And while he doesn’t look in your direction, the grin that cracks through his more serious game face would be impossible to miss. The starters take their places on the field, and after a quick handshake between the captains the coin is tossed and the game officially begins.

The first half flies by in a daze. You’ve never seen Derek so determined and fast on his feet. His teammates were even keeping up with him, which was an unusual sight, so clearly the extra effort they put into training is paying off. However, the other team, their school’s rival that they always play first, weren’t just letting them run away with the game. By the time the first half ends the score is 2-1 Derek’s team. As they head off toward the locker room, you can see the fatigue settling in the bodies of the players from both sides, even Derek. Though he tried to seem peppy and still full of energy, he was still obviously exhausted.

During halftime you finished your lemonade and threw the cup away, but other than that nothing of note happened. Everyone around you buzzed with excitement about how your team was in the lead, but there was an underlying nervousness to it. Seems like everyone else was just as aware as you were about how the other team was putting up extra effort and that they wouldn’t let the second half be any easier.

Before you know it the music winds down and the teams are running out of the locker room and taking the field once again as the game resumes. The second half is in no way easier than the first, with each passing minute wearing more and more on the players. At one point the score is tied, and then in what feels like a blink the other team pulls ahead by one point. Derek doesn’t let that slide and quickly ties it up again. From there it remained in a deadlock for most of the half. With about 5 minutes left in the intense game you run back down to the concession stand, knowing that they close before the game is over. Lemonade secured, you head back over to the fence nearest to the gate, giving you easier access to the field when his team pulls through. However, the last few minutes wind down to only 15 seconds and you actually start to worry. It’s not that they can’t still win in overtime, but you also know how Derek feels when he can’t secure the win during the actual game. 

Suddenly, your side’s stands erupt, snapping you out of your worry, and you see Derek making a charge for the net. One swift-footed kick sends the ball flying towards the upper corner of the net, and in a breath holding moment where time seems to slow, it goes in! He won with the game-winning shot! The buzzer goes off signaling the end of the game and the stands erupt in cheers. You stand there for a minute, bouncing on the balls of your feet while the teams shake hands and “good game” each other before they separate and you’re free to rush the field with the other spectators. 

Running as fast as you can without spilling his drink you rush straight at him. He’s talking to his teammates, but must sense your presence, because he turns to you, beaming, and standing there in a stance like he’s ready to catch you. Feeling secure in him, you leap off the ground and into his arms, where he catches you easily, spinning you both around while you’re yelling your congratulations. After you’re finished spinning, he just stands there again, holding you up, head buried in the crook of your neck. You bury your face in his, and just for a second, pretend that it’s just the two of you. Until suddenly he whispers in your ear, “thank you so much for being here.”

Shocked, you pull back, breaking apart your moment. “Derek, why wouldn’t I be? I would have NEVER missed tonight,” you reply, laughing a little uncomfortably, unsure how to feel. 

“I know, I just wanted you to know that it means so much to me that you came,” he says, cheeks flushing and not meeting your eyes.

Before you can reply the rest of the Suarez crew shows up and he has to set you down to give them hugs. Once he’s done though, you hand him his lemonade and take his free hand in yours again, fitting together like that’s where they belong. While you all chat you’re occasionally interrupted by other parents and players congratulating Derek and complimenting his playing, which he takes in stride. Despite the playful competitive side he has with you he’s usually really humble, taking pride in the fact that his hard work is being acknowledged, but not basking in it or gloating. Though sometimes when people mention a specific play he made that didn’t go well, or how they almost went into overtime, you feel him tense up, and a darkness coats his eyes, but only for a moment, small enough that you aren’t sure if anyone else would even notice, if you even would if you weren’t hold his hand. He never lets it dwell long enough for you to try and say anything though. 

Slowly, the field starts to clear out so you walk with him back to the locker room for him to grab his bag while his family heads to the van. Once he re-emerges he finds you standing there holding out the new necklace, “Okay, time to decide where this one goes!” You say, laughing at his face, shocked even though he knew this was coming. With a smirk, he takes the necklace from your hand and tells you to close your eyes. You do, and when he has you reopen them you find that he put it on himself! “Now wait a second-” you start, but he puts a hand up to stop you.

“I’ve always wanted one, and I think it’s fair that after, what, 40 something? It finally gets to be my turn,” he explains, eyeing you with that fake smugness that is his way of challenging you.

“Yeah,” you start, “but they’re for me to wear during the game, so even though that one can be yours, you can’t just leave it in your bag all game, that’s bad luck,” you respond, fully committing to appeal to his superstitious side.

“That’s fine, it’ll just give me a reason to find you before the game so you can hold on to it during, and then return it after,” he adds cooly, clearly having already thought this through.

“Fineeeee,” you groan, knowing full well you’re going to give him what he wants, “but you don’t get to keep any of the future ones, because then my pockets will start getting too full,” you laugh. “Deal?” You ask, while sticking your hand out to shake on it.

“Us and our deals,” he chuckles, and then looks at your hand. He pauses for a moment, and you can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking about sealing this deal the way you sealed your marriage deal at 13, with a kiss. Before you can think too hard about it though, he takes your hand and shakes it. Without saying much else he turns to go towards the parking lot, offering his hand for you to take. You do, and as you stroll towards the van and make idle chat with him about the game, you can’t help but smile, getting excited over how the rest of the night is going to go, or maybe you were thinking about how he was considering kissing you.

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

2024 Reflections

Thanks for the tag, @redroomroaving . I was literally reading Lia’s version of this at that exact moment, thinking that I might pinch the format without a tag - and then lo and behold, you pop up in my notifications ;) I'll tag the usual suspects, @forget-me-maybe @dutifullylazybread and @darkurgetrash <3

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

I've learnt a lot of things about writing.

I can push through a writers' block. Sprints are the answer, and I may go in several wrong directions until I get through, but I will get there. And when it starts flowing again, it will ALL be worth it.

No amount of sprints can make me exceed a certain writing speed, or stop editing as I go completely. I've practised, and I've got better at just writing [synonym for hot] or whatever in brackets when I can't pin down the exact word I'm after - but writing stuff I'm really annoyed by will throw me off my rhythm and I just have to exorcise the issue. 500-600 "good" words in an hour is a pretty decent top speed, and I'm happy with what I'm writing, so I've learnt to accept the slower pace I work at than some people I know in fandom!

Relatedly, I'll never have time to write everything I'd like to, and I have to accept that and prioritise accordingly. Early in the year, I happily offered to take SFW prompts, did a few, and realised that although I liked what I'd written, my heart was not truly in it and therefore it wasn't sustainable. NSFW ones I find more easy to do; it's a fun and filthy way of giving back to my followers, which is one of the main reasons I like doing it. (And also there's been some DELICIOUS ideas that I wouldn't have come up with on my own!). But I've let myself be more judicious about it, picking ones that really inspire me to write whole ficlets/fics for, and trying not to stress about the pile.

I also found a process for my own fic ideas that I love and desperately want to write, but don't think I have time for: I make notes, discuss eagerly with @krawwan ... and then leave it to sit. The germs of the story are safely written down, and the idea will either grow roots or disappear. If it grows, I'll probably open my computer at some point and find I have one of those top-speed writing sessions, and win-win, it's a WIP now. If not, that's alright! There's always a chance it'll sprout in the future, but for now it's clearly not captivating enough to spend time on.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I've got better at layering subplots. I think, anyway. I've got better at outlining, that's for damned sure! I've also had fun trying out small tweaks to style/voice.

Finally, I've tackled heavier subjects. That isn't to say all writing should - but I feel like whilst Sharp Teeth and its follow ups took a pretty light touch, Planar Tears has given me the space to explore. Depression, guilt, grief and racism/oppression (via Rolan's story) all come up at various times, and we're going to run face-first into Lorroakan all too soon.

(That's not to say a light touch isn't good too; fantasy adventure stories tend to err on the light side as a genre, and I'm writing in a world full of conniving hags and tentacle-waving baddies. I don't think Sharp Teeth would have benefited from anything more "difficult"; sometimes you don't need to dwell on a theme in detail for it to be evident, and I've been a bit worried that some of Planar Tear's more intense discussions have been too heavy in tone. But that's all part of developing as a writer, or so I keep telling myself; you have to experiment to find out).

Bad writing habits?

Writing too late at night.

Convincing myself that THIS is the time I've really gone and lost my writing skills for good when I've got writers' block.

Yapping every three sentences about my writing when I should just be writing.

Mmmm... I wouldn't say it's "bad" per se, but sometimes I realise that either I make an interesting decision, that requires time and thought and research, or I make a simple, easy one, and get something finished. (It's hard to point to exact examples, because I often forget them afterwards, but it's definitely a feeling I've had several times). I think many writers find themselves trying to nail their own personal equilibrium between "good" and "finished", and sometimes I think I let the lure of the posting button summon me a little early.

Favorite thing you wrote?

Every time I say Planar Tears, lol. But honestly, I'm proud of everything I've got up on AO3; I've re-read and enjoyed them all.

Biggest win?

More than having written a lot (and of consistent quality)? Finding a (small in the scale of the BG3 fandom) audience who enjoy my writing. I love seeing returning commenters and kudos-ers across my different works and Rolan pairings. On the occasion I've got comments like "I was supposed to go to bed and then I got THIS EMAIL", I've felt both very happy and very lucky. It's one thing for someone to stumble over my fics and enjoy it enough to kudos it once; it's another for them to like it so much they sign up for emails and chew through all the stuff I've written. That's amazing and inspiring and wonderful.

(It's also very motivating in terms of knowing that if I post, someone's probably going to crack it open pretty soon and take a good look!)

Goals for the new year?

Be a little more balanced about writing. Balance is not a thing I am good at; I'm an obsessive person, an all-or-nothing person, forever burning the candle at both ends. My real life job is also a lot of mental work, and between that and writing I went hard this year. The job is a non-negotiable, and very important to me - so whilst I've got through this year, I've got to be more sensible. (Don't worry, my job is fine - but taking care of myself fell by the wayside a bit)

OOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN THE OTHER HAND, it is so easy to feel guilty about writing fanfiction for a hobby, especially smut. It's easy to put down every cold to some karmic punishment for having stayed up too late writing the perfect orgasm - when plenty of people are cutting into their sleep with more regular hobbies like Netflix or early morning runs or whatever. Naturally, I think I suck more than all of these people.

So I'd like to pry apart the twisted braids of "genuinely having so much creative energy that I want to expend on stuff I love", "needing to post constantly because I love being productive to a pathological degree", "cleaning out the vestiges of shame and general societal opinion about my hobby" and "literally just go the fuck to bed please". We'll see how well I do!

(Oh yes, and finish Planar Tears!)

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

Rolan has an allotted amount of scowling, and Catrin only SO many lip twitches, that they're allowed to do in each installment of Planar Tears. Calm it down, kids.

I also love a filthy smut noise, and have to do the moaned/groaned/gasped/whimpered comb-through to check I haven't repeated them in close succession. Rolan will do all four basically every time though, I've got no shame about that.

What are you excited for in the new year?

Finishing WIPs! I've got three oneshots 50-70% drafted, and I know they'll be so satisfying to finish. I'd like to clear the decks before I crack open my NEXT bunch of short fic ideas.

Returning to give Fae Bindings and In Service of Magic new chapters. I love these fics, and I'm very grateful for the readers who care about them despite the updates being on the slow side. (I do think it's less urgent in very smut-oriented fics, because although I care too much about the plot of both of them, you don't need to be following it particularly closely to get horny about it... is my attempt to reassure myself anyway lmao).

Life stuff. I'm going on a short holiday soon to meet a beloved tumblr friend, and that's very exciting. My work is also going to be a big focus of this year, and I'm feeling very positive about what I might be able to accomplish.

In short - exciting things <3

[avatarskywalker78]

It's Six Sentence Sunday and I have stuff written! First of all a Doctor Who fic I started working on a few days ago focusing on...The Master, specifically Dhawan!Master but if he had been written well, because I liked Missy's character development and I wish that had stuck and I liked the O persona - and very much wished some aspects of that had been kept rather than just making him crazy again (and also the Timeless Child arc remains one of my LEAST favourite in the entire show so I'm gonna be fixing that too.) Here he's trying to do good but obviously still has...quite a lot to work through.

O would like to say he’s never understood racism, but that’s a lie, given how Time Lords saw themselves as superior and it’s taken him far too long to get out of that mindset, so maybe it’s more accurate to say that now he doesn’t understand racism. Whether it’s between species or between members of their own species it’s just…such a small-minded approach to life, and spending years among humanity as a brown man has highlighted this. Most people have been fine with it but others…haven’t.

And humanity never fully outgrows it – there’s always one faction or another who has a problem with those who are different, and it’s a sad fact that this is a universal constant.

On the other hand, what’s also a universal constant is that there’s always plenty of people who stand up to it, and the isolated Terran colonies in the future always end badly, so that cheers him up a lot, especially on days like today where he and his fellow activists have just endured abuse simply for walking down the street.

Three decades from now Australia is returned to its rightful people. That also cheers him up.

He might be on a redemption path, but he's always gonna be a brand of chaotic. Also I'm giving a shout-out to @thirddoctor because their Master posts are amazing, their comments about O were partly what inspired this fic, and they directed me to their other Master meta posts which are gonna be a great help for writing this fic and it should be fun, if a little self-indulgent...but this will make sense once I've written the whole fic. Hopefully.

(Says the person attempting to write a non-linear narrative...)

I'm also taking part in Comfy-vember, a writing event run by the blog of the same name that started this year, and while Flufftober didn't inspire me much this one has - I've only written the one fic but my next one is for Diagnosis Murder.

Jesse was prone to getting into trouble. Steve had know that from the start, ever since the little pest had started getting involved in his investigations and he meant well, Steve knew...but he didn't have a lot of common sense and he was guillable and he'd always, always feared that he was going to get hurt one day, that one day, Steve was going to be too slow to save him...

And he almost had been. He almost had been and now Jesse had a stab wound-

Dad had saved his life and he was recovering at Community General and Steve had been assured that it was simply a matter of waiting for him to wake up - something that shouldn't take too long.

Looking at his best friend lying prone in a hospital bed, this was little reassurance - the guy was normally so full of energy and it was unnatural to see him so still.

And it was his fault, because if he'd only been quicker he'd have taken out Johnson before he ever got a chance to hurt Jesse. Instead he'd busted the door down just in time to see Jesse-

Listen, you gotta have the hurt before the comfort and if there was any character I was gonna whump like this it was Jesse Travis, so I'm not sorry.

[andromeda-nova-writing]

Fic Stats and Facts for the End of the Year

In January I thought It would be fun to keep track of the amount of words I posted on fics throughout the year. I posted a total of 26,676 words in 2024

Continuing the fun I think it would be nice to reshare some fics I posted this year and some thoughts I had on them.

My Favorite Actor is… This was my first fic of the year. It was posted on January 6th. It's one of the fics I posted during the chaos of getting a new puppy. It was written mostly on my phone during the holidays. Am I surprised the first fic of the year was an Ayato fic? No, I did a blog refresh around him. I think of the fics I've posted for Ayato, this is my favorite.

Summer Afternoons I had this fic scheduled to post while I was on a trip in Texas. Fun fact, my cousin clocked me as an AO3 user. I was playing around with formatting and I tried sticking with this format throughout the year. I think I may do a format overhaul at some point. I think my fics started doing worse with the new changes. This means there's a chance you haven't read this short and cute Thoma fic!

PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA and CUFF IT Can you tell I like Beyoncé? It's not like I'm quiet about it. I love how silly timing will forever tie Wriothesley and the Renaissance album together. I guess it was the idle animation trying to tell me he enjoys a good disco bop as well. Do you think he could rock roller skates by any chance, asking for a friend (it's me, I am the friend. roller skating date with Wriothesley when?)

What a Treat! One of the fics I posted during October when I get too many ideas. It was so nice to post for Kaveh since the first fic I started for him ended up being too much like one of the quest lines for his hangout. I can't believe I predicted the hangout. I should have posted it before his release.

“What part of 'I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” My first fic for Dr. Ratio. Well, it would have been but it was such a challenge to write him!! I rewrote this fic like three times. So expect you to read it three times. It's only fair. I do plan on writing more for him next year. I would also like to write more Honkai Star Rail characters as well.

After the Choir Sings and To Prepare a Reunion These are the last fics I'm posting this year. I'm sick so there is no way I can rush one last fic. The notes are lower due to being so recent so if you could go run them up a bit that would be nice. The first fic is for Neuvillette and is also the first time I ever wrote for him. I'm still not sure I got him right. The second fic is an SMAU for Ayato which was a fun break from the Ayato fic I'm been working on for like half the year now.

Speaking of the long Ayato fic I think it has been a minute since I have given it a sneak peek which I feel is fair. But before I do, some general info on the fic. The main trope is A Marriage of Convince which has also become the placeholder name now. It is one of the things that inspired my blog refresh. I would like to post the first chapter on March 26th since it is his birthday and then post every two weeks. Hopefully, I can get far enough to where this is possible. It's already the longest fic I've ever written which is fun. I do hope you enjoy this sneak peek from Chapter 1!

Ayato sighed at the interaction. “Have you even explained why you wish for her to be wed so fast?”

“I do not have to explain my family matters to you of all people. You have made this so much harder by having her wear your mother’s jewelry. You should take it and leave us be.” Y/N’s grandpa spoke.

“I see no need to. Your family matters involve trying to marry off a woman through blackmail. How would it sound for you if it got out that you have been trying to marry off a woman who much of Inazuma now assumes I am in a relationship with?”

“How does it sound for that same woman to get charged for assault? It’s better to stay out of this if you would prefer your own name to retain the respect it has.”

Ayato sighed rubbing the temples of his forehead. He hoped it would not have to come to this. “Since you won’t explain your reasoning and so desperately want her to be engaged at this very moment, I’ll marry her if it stops this headache of an issue.”

Y/N jolted away from his touch in shock. “You can’t. Even you agreed that an arranged marriage for yourself would be something you never do. What about your own love life?”

“Listen to the girl. Even she knows it would be a disgrace for you to be engaged to her.” Her grandpa argued twisting her words moments after being spoken.

“I am too busy dealing with the affairs of Inazuma for a love life. I get proposals once a week and they are a waste of my time. You are wasting your granddaughter’s time. If getting married can free her to do as she pleases then I find no issue with ‘disgracing’ my name. If anything it would make my life easier having a translator in my home as Inazuma continues to reconnect with the world.”

[comfortlesshurt]

Saw that post about fic-writing-related questions to ask you and so:

1. What's the word that appears most in your current draft?

2. What's your preferred writing font?

3. Where do you get your inspiration? (And is it possible to learn this power?)

4. What's your favourite place to write?

5. Talk about your writing and editing process

6. What's the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic?

7. How do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

8. Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

omg yes, thank you!

I just started something last night but it's only 40 words, so I'm gonna jump over to a more substantial WIP to get a better answer for this one. For chapter 6 of the bigger fic I'm working on, the top three are: Keith, Shiro, and time. (Or if you want to exclude names, time, when, and enough!)

I picked Times New Roman 12pt when I was like... 12, and I never abandoned it.

It jumps around! Over the past year, it's honestly mostly been from reading others' fics! (Which is also why I've gotten more fanatic about using the "Inspired By" feature on AO3 recently, because I fully think it's okay to take inspiration from others, but the other person deserves a little boost in reads too!) In the past, I've pretty exclusively relied on other people giving me prompts, but I had to figure out something else when I desperately wanted to write and there was no outside interest.

This one's probably boring, but I can't stand writing on my phone or a laptop, so I exclusively write at my desktop in my living room.

For writing: 1) Get idea (the hardest part). 2) If it's multi-chapter and I know that from the start, I'm not allowed to write anything until there's a basic outline jotted down. 3) The actual writing: Active writing doc on one monitor, outline on the other (if it's a multi-chapter work where I need to keep track of how the current part interacts with other parts), and Spotify in the background! For editing: I'm awful about it. I'm one of those people who edits as I write even though it frustrates me every time. BUT in exchange, the final editing is a lot easier because I've already edited it during every drafting session. I try to do the editing at the start because then it doubles as me reminding myself what I've already written and might give me ideas for what I want to write in the rest of this session. The final editing session after the writing is done is usually just me googling synonyms for the words I think I overused!

Oh man, I'm sure I'm blanking on something more interesting from further in the past, but a recent one has been the actual timeline for Voltron. Like, I always knew it was set in the future, but I never thought about exactly when since the show seems to be intentionally vague, and I had to dig into fan theories to get a good answer to that. Usually if I need to research something, I'll stick to an overview because I will go overboard if I give my brain half a chance, and a brief overview is usually enough to avoid writing anything completely wrong and immersion-ruining.

Ooh, I switch hobbies for a bit! I used to think you can't really call it a hobby if you don't do it almost every day, but that's a silly idea and I've given it up. If I don't feel like writing, I don't write. Usually, I'll get really into reading again during those times, but I might also go back to playing the guitar or drawing. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's fun and it's not writing. I just do that until I feel like writing again. That keeps me from associating writing with being frustrated and upset since I only write when I actively want to.

Oops, kinda went into them above already! But other than those ones, I also obsess over statistics, coding, and general math nerd stuff since those are what I went to college for. There are probably other hobbies, but of course they've all popped out of my head now that I'm trying to think of them!

[studentofetherium]

ask game- 12, 14, 23, 28, 29?

12. a trope you’re really into right now

magical girls lol. also detectives but ive been struggling to channel that into something releasable

14. where do you get your inspiration?

all over the place! any given story will have tons of difference influences that i'm pulling from. for example, the most recent chapter of SZS is pulling from Evangelion and wrestling and Monogatari and Hugtto Precure and a lot of other small bits. if i enjoy something, chances are i'll be inspired by it at least a little, and influence can come quickly. for example, the current chapter of magical girl next that i'm writing was started in late 2022 and it's going to be incorporating bits of FMDM that i've been thinking about the last few days but it also pulls a lot on my irl experiences and Sakura Quest and Kara no Kyoukai and Yuru Camp, among others. influence is everywhere, to the point of being inescapable

23. pick three keywords that describe your writing

saccharine, masturbatory, pretentious

if i wanna be nicer to myself, it'd be something like...

cerebral, melancholic, indulgent

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

bulk writing. like when i have the plot figured out and just need to move the story from point a to point b. oftentimes it just comes across as tedious, so this is where i most often end up with writer's block

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

hell on earth (i always just use song titles)

[breitweisergallery]

For the BTS Writing Ask: 🖋️❤️😭⁉️

what inspired you to write your WIPs?

Going down a list:

The Idol AU was in part inspired by Jinyoung's actual idol background, but also a question of: what would happen if Yohan had been forced to put someone identical to his brother on trial? Would they still have found their way to each other again? Now with the sequel, we've moved onto the question of: if given no other choice, would Yohan use his father's connections to carry out a plan?

The Vincenzo soulmate AU: what do you do if you die when your soulmate dies, and your soulmate is your arch nemesis?

Most of the Critical Role stuff comes from shooting the shit and hanging out with @crying-cryptids. I like getting the "you're killing me" text/comment every time I come up with something. :D

what are your favorite scenes from your WIPs?

Oooooh okay. So. I haven't written it yet BUT. In the idol AU, I have a scene planned where Yohan gifts something huge to Gaon. It is part of his plot and Gaon sees right through him but makes the choice to accept the gift and not comment on it further.

And then. In the bigger Critical Role fic I'm working on, I have this moment in the eighth arc where Caleb has essentially become the leader of the Tombtakers and he grows close with Cree and Jurrell while he's stuck at Soltryce for a while. His friendship with Jurrell ends up being a major thread and I've been planning scenes in my head for their friendship for a while.

what are the biggest challenges writing your WIPs?

Real life. I'm disabled, I'm in grad school, I have chronic migraines and general chronic pain, and sometimes it's impossible to push past the pain and general brain fog to write. Those days suck. :(

what do you do when stuck on a scene?

Okay okay okay welcome to the Took method of getting unstuck.

Step One. Change the font. Not the font of the whole document. Just the last sentence. You're now writing in a new font. Fuck with the font. Make it funky. Make it different. If that doesn't work ->

Step Two. Change how you're writing. Are you on Google Docs? Try writing on Scrivener or Word or Ohwrite or Penzu or right into AO3. The change in scenery might kickstart your brain. If that doesn't work ->

Step Three. Troubleshoot. Why do you feel stuck on the scene? Did you write yourself into a corner? Did you write something and then decide you don't like it BUT it also still makes logistic sense to do that? Welcome to the trash document. On the trash document, post the last few paragraphs. Now write them again. Chances are, you'll find it easier to get the juices flowing now that you've gotten rid of what is likely bothering you. If that doesn't work ->

Step Four. Take a break. Write something else. Write nothing at all. Take a walk. Your brain might just need a break from the project in question.

And there you have Took's Four Ways of Getting Unstuck.

[magistralucis]

I KNEW IT WAS YOU!!! It was either you or Ghost who wrote THIS Masterpiece! And I bothered my friends for HOURS because Unravel gave so so much feeling man you CANNOT imagine!! Two idiots in love with each other and that walking Sexy disaster known as Trazyn. (I read that over and over again and there is NO WAY Imotekh isn't in love with Trazyn too 🥹🥹 God that is SUCH a masterpiece.

Orikan's desperation to be loved and be a part of a family while loving someone is so terrifying to them they hate him too as well as whatever he feels for Imotekh...he is SUCH a stubborn mess. I wonder what happened to those 3 pairs of eyes he worked hard to support...

Imotekh just got the short end of the stick. Love turn to hate yet not completely but the effects of their mutual fuck ups also twisted him into a worse version of himself in so many ways. His contradictiry thoughts at times shows how much he is STILL conflicted about...everything. while also continuing to lie to himself about many many things. Wonder what would have happened if he went with Trazyn dragging Orikan kicking and screaming...maybe they'd get the therapy they so deserve. Sennet is probably good at that.

And Trazyn himself...not gonna lie I wonder how he would feel if he remembered everything as Imotekh does...a good deal more depressed I imagine..looking at Solamnace now it is obvious many parts of his family is dead. And while he was having the time of his like in Sautekh dynasty the bonds he created there with tbese two...damn dude gave you guys literal rings how open could he get???? I wonder what would it be like if they took him on his offer. Wouldn't be easy and Orikan would need good GOOD kick in the feels to start reflecting on himself but they could have been the strongest polyamory the universe has ever seen!

I hope you'll write more about these guys! Would be amazing to see a proper necrontyr Orizyn from you ❤️❤️

Thank you so much! This ask actually came on the 1st; I was saving it until I was done with the fic post reblogs. A very happy new year to you, anon 💖🎄

Canon seems to be marking Trazyn out as a surprisingly well-adjusted person for WH40K standards (I'm aware that bar is at the bottom of the ocean, but still), someone who's principled, if light-years distant from social acceptance. It seemed natural that our disaster couple would be drawn to his stability, if only to learn from him how to make each other so much worse 🙃

Imotekh certainly felt comforted by Trazyn. Whether he could've felt for Trazyn the same passionate love/obsession he felt for Orikan is up for debate, but I think Imotekh could've learned to survive in Gheden with him, and it wouldn't have been as painful as Orikan tried to convince him it would be. He's willing to seal off his acts of love towards Orikan in Trazyn's name, after all, there is an element to which Imotekh sees in Trazyn a lover. Not necessarily a fellow lover, but not necessarily an enemy. A triangulating force that Imotekh feels he and Orikan need to conquer, or else perish... and they did not conquer Trazyn, no sir, the dude barely even knew all this was going on 😩

By the time of biotransference the three pairs of young eyes were no longer young. Saved them from becoming warrior-drones in the conversion, but the life of a necrontyr is already brutal as it is. Chances are that Orikan's siblings did not outlive him - I haven't thought about it much, I admit - and honestly, that may not have been the worst way to go, given the horrors of biotransference.

Ah yes, the rings. 💍 You'll note that Orikan has never worn his, though he still refused to let it go, and Trazyn remembered it enough to gild a homage to it at the end. I don't know if you're familiar with Anglo-Saxon literature (it's my specialty, I'm a medievalist), but there's a kenning meaning 'king/lord' ('beaga bryttan') which literally translates to 'ring-giver'. That's the image I have of all noble/royal characters of older time periods (or inspired by history) - generous, doling out treasure and favours to their retainers, while fully expecting that loyalty to be repaid with their lives if it comes to that.

When Trazyn gave them those rings, he was expressing his adoration of them, while also anticipating either he or his dynasty would have a use for them in the future. It's a contract as well as a gift. If they'd gone through with this throuple successfully, they'd have ended up yielding a lot of control to Trazyn - perhaps for the best, perhaps for the worst, since they'd have been subject to the whims of the Nihilakh Dynasty or Trazyn himself for however long that went on. Nothing is only good or only bad forever. It is a loss of great potential, nonetheless, that Orikan was so utterly unwilling to put in any work to salvage this triad 🤧

I do think the 'how much do they remember' problem is something I could've done a better job of. Trazyn and Orikan remember way too much here compared to their I&D depictions, I fear some of their aspects veer off into OOC territory by the end. That's something I need to work on a bit more, but in the meanwhile I'm glad people enjoyed it all the same 💖

[beautifulpersonpeach]

hello i came across your page and found you super interesting and a good source to go to when in need of some not sugarcoated opinions

im an army, been an army for a bit more than four years and just a few months ago i got super into enhypen and now well im obsessed

ive given other groups a chance… no one and when i say no one did it for me like enha i can’t believe they managed to turn the scale with bts for me im obsessed with both of them and now i have 14 babies

enha are really captivating and theres smth abt them thst idk its just special HOWEVER lets be real they are not doing so good with streams and charting and it pisses me off like crazy bc god do they deserve a lot more and i keep thinking what is it that they lack?

so i wanted to ask you do you think enha would make it big (armys pls dont come for me at the comparsion) but do u think they would make it big like bts? and secondly what are they lacking as a group in terms of everything (music, style, personalities, personas… etc)

***

Let's get the obvious out of the way lol. Unless it's a group from Big3, it's going to be near impossible for any currently active group to become as big as BTS this decade. For Big3 + HYBE groups, it's possible but difficult. Enhypen surprisingly doesn't follow BTS's playbook as closely as some other groups do. The three boy groups most closely following BTS's playbook right now, are:

RIIZE - in their whole concept being a coming of age odyssey with a rap-spin;

Stray Kids - practically everything about Stray Kids is BTS-inspired (and it's something I've talked about before);

Ateez - it's in their lore-heavy branding and performance focus, also utilizing rappers.

The key thing lacking for those three groups in reference to following BTS's playbook, in my opinion, is the music. Other things too, but it's the music that's the key limiting factor here. This doesn't kill their momentum and I'm not exactly saying the music bad, just that going by my taste, there's a lot of room for improvement.

ENHYPEN doesn't lack at all in the music department. I'm probably biased but it's also true many of their songs are produced by BigHit's team of producers who made the music that got BTS this big and who generally make stuff I like. So, Enha's got great songs, but like I've said before, currently, they're not a rap-focused or even rap-present group, and it's unusual for vocal-centered boy groups to become massively popular unless they're from SM, and even then, rap groups still outperform... I mean, we've seen that movie before.

But to follow BTS's playbook, they'll have to mitigate this lack of rappers - Bang PD/Belift has to push for more involvement from ENHYPEN into their song-making process. Having members with writing credits helps to show a more direct connection between the members and the song. It adds to a sense of ownership and legitimacy for a lot of fans (whether or not it actually reflects it). So far, in ENHYPEN Jake and Jay have contributed to songwriting and it's been very good. Ni-ki also takes part in making choreography. But for Enhypen to grow massively, the members need to be seen having more direct and consistent input into the creative process, whatever form that takes. Also, if I were them I'd lean even more into their choral, hiphop sound. Nobody does it like them and it's pure magic.

Also, ENHYPEN's lore is somewhat clumsily tacked into their MVs, making it difficult for people to understand the group's identity. Enha is a 'concept group'. Their concept trailers are beautifully shot, frankly a work of high cinema, something beyond the quality of most MVs. But then, all that complexity and subtext kinda disappears in their main MVs. Maybe it's because I've never been a theorist, but the presentation of lore symbolism in their MVs can be confusing and difficult to parse even with reading the WEBTOON. Ateez's lore by comparison is in a sense, 'simpler'. People might struggle to understand what ENHYPEN is and connect with them, when as a concept-heavy group, their lore is difficult to understand. It's up to Engenes to better compile and present the narratives around the group, to get more people to connect with them.

ENHYPEN are easily some of the best performers in their generation, but because of their style of music (vocal-heavy, limited rap/chanting verses paired with intricate choreography and floor-work), live concert performances can be very challenging. They pull it off amazingly well, but I worry for them tbh. Here, Ateez has figured out a formula that works to keep their performance energy consistently high: rely on simple rap/chant verses, focus on open, simple choreography that travels across the stage, and utilize props to add to drama.

Like I said earlier, Enha's music-scape and choreos add a layer of difficulty that make it harder to replicate BTS in terms of performance, as they currently are. Enha's vocals would need to improve, as will their stamina, to bridge the gap. But they are well on their way to getting there. If thing's continue to improve like it has so far, within a year or so they'll be seen as beasts. They're already incredible, but if they keep growing it will become more apparent to more people the unique mix of talent that exists in Enhypen.

Because that's what you saw that made you write this:

"a few months ago i got super into enhypen and now well im obsessed

ive given other groups a chance… no one and when i say no one did it for me like enha i can’t believe they managed to turn the scale with bts for me im obsessed with both of them and now i have 14 babies"

All seven of them are naturally, incredibly charismatic, and they seem to be very decent and talented people. That's why you're obsessed. Lol. In my view, Enhypen at their core is a high-performing hiphop team that does 'haunting and dramatic' contemporary pieces extremely well. Their performances are insanely intricate, and it frustrates me to no end that it's usually near impossible to translate all of what's happening in the practice to a stage performance.

Take for example their MMA2023 dance break:

It's been a source of fiery debate in my group chat since it dropped and I'm not even kidding. The amount of floor work, the precision, Heeseung, Ni-ki, Jungwon, Jay, Sunghoon's dance styles show best in krump breaks like this. Ni-Ki and Sunghoon trained in ballet and as a figure skater, respectively, and you can see it in how they move. Jungwon is a powerhouse, and Heeseung and Jay embody the sort of dual charisma that one can only be born with. You either have it, or you don't. They're all special and this is a performance that is just that good. But with the camerawork of the main show, the clashing outfits with the backup dancers, the poor lighting, means so much of this performance can be missed. The boys still did amazing. But when you see the practice and see what it's supposed to look like, it hits you just how limited they are by their intricate performances not captured better on stage. Engenes can work around this by hyping up good fancams, and dance practices that capture their effort.

The final thing I want to say in where ENHYPEN is lacking, is one in which it physically pains me because this is easy to fix: American roadshows/interviews. BTS had only one barely fluent English-speaker but he was also the person often most involved in making the music, and so he could better respond to questions about it. The rest of the group also made up for not being fluent English-speakers by doing comedic antics while remaining as engaged as possible in the interview. The person who usually contributes to Enhypen's American interviews is Jake for obvious reasons, sometimes Jay, but each time I've watched Jake speak he seems worse than unprepared. To be blunt. It's not enough for a group to show up on Western talk shows, they also have to effectively communicate who they are and why they're special. Enhypen does this so much better in variety content like this:

this too:

But in situations like this interview below, it's clear Jake sometimes struggles to explain some things, but he recovers quickly later in the interview.

Jungwon answers questions very well but speaks in Korean. It's fine, but working on his English can only be a positive in this scenario. For Jake too.

[silent-silver-slip]

Hi!! In the fic you wrote for me, you alluded to some backstory for your ocs (like what happened to Sasha thirty years ago?) if you wanted to go into that I think it could be fun :)

Not me answering this ask MONTHS later but I have had Thoughts recently and am back on my shit.

For those curious, the fic in question is Dare to Fight Impossible Fights and I had such a fun time writing it. The OCs in question are Eli (been there the longest), Sasha (been there for a while as well), and Jamie (the newest of the three). I'll share a few of the ideas that I've come up with for these OCs and their backstories starting with Jamie and ending with Sasha (below the line so others can skip this lol).

Jamie (warnings for cancer mentions & death; they are a ghost)

Jamie is the youngest and also has managed to avoid Caleb's attention the most! Up until the events of the fic of course

Main reason that Jamie is coasting is that they're super upfront about things which means that Caleb though he knew what was going on

Jamie is a massive fan of chaos and will willingly cause mischief, you might've noted their tendency to steal as well

In ghost years, Jamie is only a decade or two old, so still figuring most things out

This is more something that I'm figuring out now but I think that Jamie's always been a fighter and someone to advocate things--they died due to terminal cancer, and now that they have a chance to not-quite-live again, they plan to make the most of it and be really true to themselves

Eli

I kind of gave each ghost a "knack" or a magic speciality, and Eli's is being able to change their facial features--specifically to lure someone closer (and you can imagine how Caleb has used this to further his own gains)

Probably spent about eight decades with Caleb? He doesn't remember much from before but he assumes that he'd been someone then

He's also lost time at the Club, too, which I think is very fitting considering the Phantoms' own awareness of time when they went there for the first time

I mentioned another OC known as 'Blair' in the fic and I am imagining that they had had Something despite Blair not being part of the Club--not sure whether it was romantic or platonic in nature, but don't think it matters either

Eli just knows there's nothing outside of the Club for him and despite everything, despite how much he hates it all sometimes, he still wants to live (for given meaning of life--I mean they are ghosts after all)

Sasha

Sasha has been around in the Club for about five decades according to my notes!

I have also made a mention in my notes about something that happened thirty years ago but all it says is 'house band' and I am SO confused, did I not want to include more information?

Thought about it for a bit and I was inspired by our latest conversation of trying to get a song 'perfect' in two weeks. The reason why Sasha is still watching herself around Caleb is because three decades ago, the band and dancers were being forced into heaps of practice and many hours spent practicing and they're dead so they don't need to stop, right? but they're exhausted and Caleb is just saying again again again and they're only getting worse and Sasha looks around and just decides fuck this. She manages to put a stop to the practices for a day and Caleb spaces them out a bit more--but needless to say, she's definitely on his shit list afterwards and that's not something easy to get off

Anyway, that is all from me for this ask! I hope you enjoyed and if I ever write more of these characters, you can bet it'll end up being a fic on ao3 lmao

[dinnerwithrefi]

11.2 - Dedication to Lost Appetites

Dinner: chicken tender wraps w/cheddar cheese, baby spinach & kale, salt, pepper, mayonnaise & a splash of Louisiana hot sauce

I'm sorry about Claudio.

I know it isn't much consolation coming from someone you barely know, but it's the truth. No one should have to watch somebody wilt away like that from a terminal illness, and while I understand grief of that nature, it is uniquely shaped to the individual and the relationship they shared. Still, from what I know about him now, he seems like a really lovely guy, even if your personal account of his accent as "a Muppet soaked in pomodoro" made me snog my iced coffee. I can understand why you have a soft spot for the Giants, even if you're not a big fan of the pigskin. Then again, maybe soft spots aren't exactly something I should bring up, given how shaken you got when we talked about him in his last days, how the most vivid images are when he looked more lesioned than lively, more purple and grey than olive, the cheery anecdotes replaced by incoherent anguish. It's awful how we're forced into being an unwilling audience member in these theatres of decay, surrounded by feuding one man shows of desperation, departure, and what comes after.

I think more than anything, though, it helps us reach a common ground of sorts. I was the same way with my grandmother, though she at least had the ability to go peacefully in my aunt's home. I couldn't see her as Grandma in that moment, though, that wasn't her. That wasn't Grandma's hand I was holding when I heard her breathe her last, the sagging, frail freshness of death in front of me couldn't possibly be the sweet, lovely Grandma who'd warble "Happy Birthday" to my voicemail every year, even if I was seeing her just a few days later for the conglomerate birthday-Thanksgiving hybrid meal my dad's side of the family held after the separation. It didn't feel real. Part of it still doesn't, honestly, but I drank so much alcohol that I honestly couldn't tell you where the clinical noises of the hospital started and the waking nightmare of two deaths close to me ended.

But that's what was bothering you yesterday, and I'm glad you told me about it. You heard desperation in facing yourself and others in the wake of tragedy and terminal illness and that somehow mutated into a form of jealousy, didn't it? At least with that album, Halsey was able to leave something for when the end comes, a connection for both those they found important and the multitudes who felt that same level of import towards them. It's funny how art remains the greatest dedicator for the world. We build monuments and erect statues, write poems and sing songs, sew clothes and knit quilts, paint murals and spread genius across paper and canvas alike - all in the sake of getting the chance to show the magnitude of their worth to not only that individual, but to the entire world. We never got that chance, though. At least, you and I never took the opportunity to do so in a timely fashion.

Besides, you argued, how could your cousin's commemoration at his funeral, the stirring piece from a grieving daughter that brought a church to tears, or the shrine built to the buzzer beat three point shot your brother made the night Claudio died, which he claims he dedicated to him as he threw it, compare to the short story you wrote about the persimmon tree your aunt planted in his honor a few weeks after his death? From your account, it had been two months after his death that grief notched its arrow and struck inspiration in the hopes of achieving resolution. It must feel disingenuous to revisit it now, assuming you still have a copy. You never got the chance to tell him how much you valued him, no matter the lack of closeness between you two, and I suppose there's a sort of guilt seared into you that you'll never get rid of now.

I wasn't the same way with my grandma, though I wish my goodbye could've been on the terms I had imagined them being. She always wanted me to sing her "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert at some point. I would've done it for her if my dad hadn't been right behind me while she was in her final moments. Then again, we wouldn't have been there in the first place if I hadn't told him to prioritize seeing her. While I try to love him in the ways that I can, I shouldn't have had to tell him that spending a small amount of time while his mother waned away was more important that a trip to pick up fucking bulk lumber for his front porch project. Still, it was that simple round of cussing that got him to take the exit and end up getting home late in lieu of actually missing out on saying a proper goodbye, regardless of her comprehension. She was able to go after that, and I think seeing her son might have sparked those last moments of lucidity before she closed her eyes one last time. I broke a month of sobriety because of it, but scolding her son to pick up the damn beams later was probably the best dedication I could've given to her.

Unlike you, though, I have a lot more people living that I'll never get the chance to do that for as time goes on. You seem to have a tightly knit circle of friends that, while countable on one hand, they drive you to keep making strides towards self-betterment. I'm not really the same as you in that regard. I somehow end up in people's lives not on the whims of fate or by a stroke of luck, but rather sheer meteoric impact, cratering them on first meeting, almost helpless as I watch the slow crawl of personal extinction around them, to the point where I just end up just a giant rock in their life, sometimes cumbersome and earth-shattering, others groundbreaking and life-altering, but always indelible. I always end up disappearing, though. I know why that is, and I wish it hadn't bled into my life from trauma inflicted by those monsters from my teenage years, but that's just how I end up. There's a part of me that wishes I could be like you, able to hold tightly to the three people you seem to value most, the motley ensemble that you are. That's my own jealousy, though, and I hope it's one that I can get over.

Shame that the wraps got cold, but I guess we have leftovers for breakfast before we job hunt tomorrow morning.

[greyjadeexpert]

Ok so ye

I say stuff off of the top of my head. If you follow me or read my blog posts once in a while, you'd know.

So what am I here to talk about? *drumroll* ✨Pollution!✨Why am I talking about pollution? Well, it's 12:30 am, and it's March, and with pollution, we could be dead by December. We humans, we're literally polluting everything, from space to the night sky. Now keep reading if you're actually gonna read.

And I always write posts after being inspired by an Instagram story or random YouTube video. And today, it is a YT video. I'll link the video at the end, but the video is in my native language(Tamil), but I guess you can understand with all the images and stuff.

So the video was made by an organisation called LMES - Let's Make Education Simple, who specialise in STEM education across Tamil Nadu, India. I attended their summer camp when I was 7 and was emotionally scarred because that was a lot of confusion for a 7-year-old to handle. But they also look at different places and bring certain problems to light. And I watched one of those videos today by chance.

In Chennai, Tamil Nadu, there's this place called Ennore. Why am I talking about Ennore, right? Well, I'm sure you've heard of oil spills. You've seen pictures of them on Google, where they're smack in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. But what if they're closer to the shores? What if the oil spill happens in an area with backwaters?

Next to the backwaters of Ennore, there's a place called Ernavur, also in Chennai. So a lot of people already know that the majority of Chennai was affected by the mass floods in December '23. The rural areas of Ernavur were also impacted, but differently. After the flood receded, there was oil all over everything, even covering the insides of homes. And the people who lived there were left in devastating conditions.

Though stuff was crazy over there, let's shift our focus back to Ennore. Ennore consists of two parts, namely Kattukuppam and Thazhakuppam(Thalakuppam). These areas consist of 32 villages, out of which 8 are fishing communities. They fish from the backwaters and the shoreline.

It looks like there's an oil company there which doesn't seem to do it's job very well. It's been spilling oil for over a year. This makes it almost impossible for people to fish there, and it's also given their fish a bad reputation across Chennai. Nobody buys fish that is supposedly from Ennore.

The people of Ennore actually said the floods were good because only then the oil company noticed the spills and tried to do something about it, by providing a few solutions to the oil spills. And even those efforts were mediocre.

They used three methods. Absorbant pads - absorb oil, Skimmers - to skim the top layer of oil from the water, and Boomers- that act as barriers against oil. These were placed mediocrely or were of bad quality.

Plus, those oil extraction units were actually built in places that the central government doesn't allow. And yet the state government provides the money to do so. Omg it's 1 am.

So you'd ask "Okay sp, we get it. But please get to the point." Okay then. A solution to this is very hard. and there are also a lot of health impacts.

The ex-chairman of the fishing community reported that chemicals and the oils in water in the pipes to the houses often had bad health effects. It led to a lot of people with skin problems, skin cancer, and reproductive issues, especially in women.

So what's the solution? There is a solution, but it's not great. So there are 3-5 kinds of oil-eating bacteria. Really, they eat hydrocarbons, and oil is full of that stuff. The problem is that they can only be sourced in small amounts and only work with stagnant water.

So the only proper way to stop oil spills is to... stop randomly building oil-sourcing units in places they aren't supposed to be. Wow, it took so long to get to this point.

And that isn't it. I've skipped out on a lot of stuff, and I probably don't know the full story either. If you liked this and want to know more, have a look at the video I mentioned earlier. From there, you can do further reading if you want. Maybe write your own posts.

Now, I really should sleep because I have school.