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neuroticbookworm · 1 year ago

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Step by Step Episode 10, A Retrospective Analysis

I have been a staunch supporter of the writing in this show (here and here), even when the pacing and editing have felt a little stilted in places. I have always maintained that the show understands its characters and does an excellent job of connecting them to the audience via some brilliant writing. But episode 10 felt like it was from a completely different writing crew, and I was left feeling bereft and confused. I took some time to understand why, and I'm gonna share my observations in this post.

Disclaimer: I am actually okay with the place the plot is currently at. I think that it is logical that Jeng and Pat are having these problems from the outside world that are affecting their relationship. My friend and BL Ajahn @bengiyo pointed out in his rapid fire takes that Jeng is exhausted and just wants to ignore the shit that's happening around him and enjoy his time with Pat. @shortpplfedup echoes the same sentiment that JengPat are lost in each other and desperately ignoring the rest of the world. And I agree.

What I want to explore here is that while the episode did leave me at an agreeable point in the narrative, it left me there feeling incredibly unsatisfied (my bestie @lurkingshan talks about the lack of emotional catharsis here) and how very easy it would've been to course correct and preserve that audience-character connection.

The episode opens strong, with Chot telling Pat exactly why the way he is responding is hurtful to Jeng's feelings. "Saying that you don't believe him, it's like you were looking down on his feelings." Hits the nail right on the head. Pat then runs to Pearl & Oliver to meet Jeng on his birthday with *shudder* a carrot cake.

At the restaurant, Pat meets Jeng, and we hit the first snag. Pat asks Jeng if he still likes him, and when Jeng responds with a head nod, Pat breaks down. So Jeng makes his feelings clear one last time, and this makes Pat fire off question after question: "Why are you avoiding me?", "Why are you leaving the company?" and "Why can't I be the one who resigns?". Jeng takes a second to collect himself and answers "I'm not avoiding you" (a bald-faced lie, he is avoiding Pat because Pat told him to stay away), "I'm not leaving, I'm only changing positions" and "I started it, I should have to fix it myself".

I'm typing out this exchange word for word because it shows where Jeng and Pat are emotionally at the moment. Jeng has already made moves to make himself scarce around Pat, and seems to be on the path to moving on after Pat's rejection. He also feels responsible for this mess, he is aware of the pain and confusion Pat was processing before his confession, and he has now added to it. Pat is visibly distressed that he has made matters worse by not articulating his thoughts better.

And now Pat says "But I also like you" and leans into Jeng's shoulder, crying, and Jeng takes a moment, smiles, and says "Now we're together". And this is where the show starts to lose me. Jeng desperately wants to be with Pat and is still pining over him, yes, but he has also made concrete decisions to step away from this situation, which takes deliberating on the effect the events of episode 8 have had on both him and Pat, and concluding that the right and healthy thing to do for the both of them is for him to step away.

This is why I think Jeng would have uttered more than a "Now we're together" at that moment. He would've shown concern, or at the very least, he would've wanted to ask again, if Pat was sure. I hate an unnecessary "Are you sure?" moment that holds no weight as much as the next person, but here it would've made all the difference. Pat is sobbing, tears and snot running down his face, when he confesses to Jeng. Didn't the show go to painstaking lengths to show us the differences between Put and Jeng? I want to believe that the Jeng who was established for the last 9 episodes, even while nursing a broken heart, would've stopped and taken a moment to make sure that Pat is alright, he has thought this through, and this is not an impulse decision made on Jeng's birthday due to guilt.

An "Are you sure?" and a full body hug with both of them deep exhaling all their worries away for a moment, in each other's arms would've transformed the tone of this scene completely, and would've brought the characters in line with their established personalities, without compromising the direction the plot wants to take in the rest of this episode.

According to popular consensus here on Tumblr, Jeng's arc in this episode seemed to be one where he is overwhelmed by the complications his relationship with Pat will bring, and that makes him want to disassociate and only focus on Pat and his desire for him. I would've happily taken this read, if they had shown Jeng TRYING in the beginning and THEN rapidly failing. We know (by implication) that his previous relationship played a role in his leaving the company before. So we saw him make very careful strides in the past episodes, and crossing boundaries when his brain is overwhelmed by desire (re: sharing a bed, filming Pat when he's drunk, the speakeasy).

When Pat rejects him, his mind gets clouded. He had been so focused on doing it right this time, and it has still gone wrong, somehow. And when Pat tells him to stop pursuing him, he now has to focus his energy on making it right and keeping the workplace comfortable for Pat. And finally, when Pat comes to confess his feelings, Jeng is mentally exhausted from the back and forth, yes, but he has no reason to feel it yet. There are no eyes on them yet, no judgements that need to be navigated. He must be elated, to have Pat reciprocate his feelings. So when Pat asks him "So from now on. what are we?" and Jeng doesn't loudly proclaim FAEN, it fells ..off. He just had sex with the person who was living in his mind, rent-free for a whole year, on a kitchen counter surrounded by glass walls; he has no reason to feel melancholia yet.

If we had been gradually let into Jeng's mental state, shown how the fear of judgement from the others AND his logical but tired brain overworking to figure out how to make this work, how to circumvent his past mistakes and failings, were getting to him, the episode would've hit a completely devastating emotional beat. And we could've watched Pat's regression in parallel, struggling with his newfound emotional stability in the workplace, because he couldn't help but notice how Jeng was choosing to ignore problems rather than deal with them.

This gradual descent would've also explained Jeng's communication blackout with Pat. Had we gotten two scenes with them at the dinner table at home or a restaurant, one at the beginning of the relationship, with Jeng and Pat enjoying each other's company, and one near the end of the episode, with Jeng hazy and quiet? It would've sunk me to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

And I don't want the explanation that the new relationship haze is clouding their minds. I'm always on Team "Fuck Through Your Problems". Them going at it like rabbits was not the issue in this episode. The issue is that we did not get to see ANYTHING ELSE. We did not see the domesticity shine through when the relationship was new, and slowly tarnish as time passed. The message that queer relationships face undue pressure from society that may affect every couple, regardless of how well matched they are, could've been conveyed with such an amazing contrast, between PutPat and JengPat.

We could've screamed and squealed at the fluff and smut, at P'Jeng and Nong Pat, and weeped as the episode slowly tore our hearts open from our chests. We could've had it all, Tee Bundit. Instead, this is what you chose to give us.

tagging my besties @waitmyturtles, and @lurkingshan who are in the trenches with me and @wen-kexing-apologist who wrote the post that gave me a lone ray of sunshine in all the madness

#step by step #step by step the series #jengpat #step by step meta

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yloiseconeillants · 2 months ago

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16, 33 and 39 from the Ship Creative Process Asks, please! (Though feel encouraged and welcome to skip over any questions you're not feeling.)

Is there a relationship between characters in another setting that particularly inspired you? What is it about this portrayal that you enjoy?

MAN SO MANY. SO SO MANY. I'm like. A human being if it was constructed out of References to Media and Literature and all my ocs are the sum of every movie I've watched or every story I've read lmao. How to even pick ONE to talk about. Yloise would not exist as she is without the like, three episodes of the first season of Upstairs/Downstairs where it really looked like they were going to set up a Thing between the housemaids (Rose and Sarah, HMS Attic Lesbians).

I literally just put this in fic form but made them an elf and a catgirl. And it fucks.

To what degree is your OC a self-insert, particularly in terms of their relationship? Do you sometimes use your character's relationship to explore your own feelings about a canon character or another OC?

So now that I've established that most of my ocs are just amalgamations of Things I Like rather than like, projections of myself, it would still be entirely inaccurate to say that I don't like, put SOME parallels. There's definitely bits of my own relationships that pop up in small ways, but it's not anything where I'm trying to work out my Own Personal Feelings Through Fiction - it's more in minute details or silly situations I've been in that I wonder how my ocs would have responded in a similar situation. The things I enjoy in my own relationships in real life are not like, things I'm interested in exploring with my own fictional characters. As for the second question, I don't think that's anything I'm doing either? I think part of it is that I'm truly just more interested in my own OC's thoughts and feelings than in any canon characters. Regarding other ocs, again, I'm not my ocs and I don't find it difficult in the slightest to separate the way I feel about a character from the way my characters feel about someone.

What, if any, is your biggest source of fear or anxiety when it comes to writing or otherwise portraying romantic or sexual scenarios?

uhhhhh that someone is going to call me a selch-wife probably

As I'm mostly writing for myself and then. Occasionally sharing if the story is edited to the point where it can be shown to another Human Being without me wanting to bury myself in sand, I think what I'm mostly worried about is just keeping everyone's motivations in mind. Even if they're acting out, there's still like, an internal logic that I want to preserve, and I've ended up writing like 16 versions of the same scenario just because it started to drift from like, what the intent was.

#thank you for the asks!!#literally also if anyone has a specific ship or character of mine that they would like to know What Old Movie I Based Them On #please let me know i will ramble about any of them all fucking night and that is a Promise

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avee-anne · 1 year ago

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Sakuracon 2023: Studio Orange Interview

(I just learned that Japan-A-Radio has ceased operations so the interview with the director and producers of Trigun Stampede is no longer in their website. It has a lot of interesting information about Trigun Stampede so I'm reposting it here.)

Submitted by djcruzmissile on Sun, 04/16/2023 - 01:22

Sakuracon 2023 – Studio Orange Interview

By Jun Hong Pua, Sean Cruz, Matthew Fu & Lisa Su Transcribed by Jun Hong Pua Edited by Sean Cruz

Japan-A-Radio was part of a round table interview with Director Kenji Muto, and Producers Waki Kiyotaka & Yoshihiro Watanabe, members of Studio Orange, the team behind Trigun Stampede, to round out Sakuracon 2023 Sunday Afternoon. Producer Yoshihiro Watanabe started off with a brief introduction.

Yoshihiro Watanabe (W): I mainly do the distribution or strategic side of Trigun. Kiyotaka and I are from Studio Orange but Muto is a freelancer so he's only tied to our studio on a project basis.

I know it's been five years in the making, but why Trigun again?

Waki Kiyotaka (K): There are two big reasons why we chose to work on Trigun Stampede this time around. The first big reason would be that we were actually contacted by the producer, Katsuhiro Takei, who is a big fan of the original Trigun anime, and he'd always wanted to work on another anime version of Trigun.

The second reason is that we had the opportunity to employ Muto as the director. He had previously worked on the Land of the Lustrous, on both the storyboards and the animation direction. For storyboards, he did episode seven. For episode direction, he did episode ten. And so, we knew from working with him that he was able to do both action scenes and really good "feeling scenes": scenes where the feelings were really communicated well to the audience. We thought that he could do something really good with this project. And so that's why we chose to make Trigun Stampede and to do it with him as the director.

Kenji Muto (M): In my case, from the creative side, it's more of an ideological thing. When I started reading the Trigun manga by Nightow-sensei, I felt that it had many themes that were very unique and universal.

For example, there are inter-species interactions, the issues of migration, and a sci-fi approach to westerns. There's many core themes that I thought were very interesting.

How much involvement did Nightow-sensei have in the production of the show? You mentioned in your panel earlier that he just gave a green light and said to just have fun. Can you elaborate further?

K: It started with Nightow-sensei, myself, the director Muto, and also producer Takei. So four people altogether, just talking to each other for quite a long time. We heard from Nightow-sensei about what kind of a person he is, what he was thinking about when he was creating Trigun, and what he wanted to cover in that story. And that's where we started. Building on that, we moved on to the concept stage. We had two main staff members working on that.

We had Kouji Tajima, who worked on the concept art, and Takehiko Oshiki, who worked on the setup, writing the text that would describe the overall concepts of the world. Oshiki-san is a huge Trigun fan, a fan of the original anime and the manga. And so, he gathered together for us a bunch of design documents, set up documents, describing the themes that were covered in the original manga, and also the themes that were hinted at, but not really ever explored. Then, bas0kind of a world text that he had pulled together and written for us, Tajima-san started creating concept art. His goal was to create concept art that would show the overall feel of this world and help us with world building, to envision what.d on to the planet is, and he took over a year working on all the concept art.

During all of these conceptual design parts, we were continually checking in with Nightow-sensei. So, even before the usual pre-production process, we're showing him the setup text and the concept art, and he gave the okay to all of that. After being deeply involved in the concept design, he told us, "Everything, from here on out, the scripts, the character designs and so forth, the regular stuff of pre-production, you can do as you wish. That's because I'm confident now that you fully understand where you're going with this, and I've signed off on all the pre-pre-production concept designs that you've done."

It's not like he gave us completely free rein to do whatever we wanted. However, because we had actually that much deep, intense collaboration at the very start, he thought that we knew where we were going with this, and he's also good with where we chose to take this.

M: Usually, when you're adapting a book, a manga, to anime, you'd just be facing the book itself. But, in my case, I really wanted to face the person who created it first.

I'm actually really glad director Muto can be here, because he wasn't at Anime Expo, right? There was a video shown of him drinking alone on the roof.

W: (Laughs) We were still in production, so…

M: Ah, thank you so much.

So my question is actually about voice direction for Millions Knives. There's the scene where he is rejected by Vash, and he sounds very pained. This is an emotional attack; the physical ones don't really hurt him. What kind of care did he take to direct Junya Ikeda during that scene?

M: One of the first things I wanted to show, as a director, was that Knives is an actual being; a person. I mean, he's not a human, but as a person, he's not just a simple villain. That's why we're all focused on it.

At first, when we started the project in recording, on Ikeda-san’s side, he still didn't have the amount of information that we have on our side. He couldn't fully grasp his character, so there are times that he acted as a villain. At those times, I talk with him and say, "That's not the type of direction that I want for portraying Knives." As we worked together longer and longer, he was able to grasp more of the Knives that we wanted to depict. So yeah, Knives is not a bit; he is one of the main characters.

My relationship with Ikeda-san started out from episode three, where he first appeared, and kept on track ever since then. And, I think it's because of all the resolve and communication, that we were able to achieve what we were able to achieve in episode nine.

I noticed some similarities of the designs of plants with the designs of Avatar's Na'vi. And, a desert planet and worms, of course, brings to mind Dune. How much of these and other western influences got into the production?

M: I actually grew up in Chicago, when I was really young. That was the only time I spent in Chicago though. Having grown up there, I was influenced by a lot of shows, such as Ninja Turtles, Knight Rider, and White Wolf. I have a lot of respect for western culture. I tell myself, these two cultures don't really have a barrier. I treat them equally.

As a filmmaker, I have respect for Quentin Tarantino. So, it's probably not intentional, but I think his influence is very strong.

That's quite interesting, because Quentin Tarantino is about ultra-violence, while Vash is about anti-violence.

M: (Laughs)

When we are introduced to Millions Knives, we literally see a million knives, in comparison to the original series, which didn't do that. How did you come to decide on that being Knives' introduction? Just to say the animation for that sequence is, it has a feeling of being overwhelmed and a little grotesque, because of how many knives you see. So why did you decide to go in that direction?

M: Thinking of how to answer that question is a little difficult, because at the time when we were figuring out how that scene would end up, we didn't really think of that as grotesque. I've never actually thought of it that way before. At the time, we were thinking about how we wanted to portray Knives as a character? What is Knives thinking? What is he trying to do?

And really, what is inside of his head if he's only thinking about Vash and the plants. He's not thinking about humans at all, or if he is, they're on the same scale as bugs to him. So, if they're in his way, he's just going to exterminate them. He's not really thinking any more deeply about any humans than that. So yeah, that's the first time that it has actually occurred to us that it might come across that way.

Sorry, just to make a correction in terms of the grotesqueness, it's just that there's so many knives. And now that he said, it's like him squashing bugs, it makes sense. And it looks more like a cyclone or a hurricane. It was in a very circular motion, and you see all of the knives.

M: When I really think about the characters, I always think about contrast, and in this case, the contrast between Vash and Knives. I think it was out of necessity to create that contrast that Knives came out like that. Also, with the name Millions Knives, millions of knives is the reason why Knives named himself that in the manga. I was thinking about how to visualize that, and that's the answer we have.

In the case of designing him, Knives had an incident with a girl named Tesla. You can see fragments of that in episode ten. So, when you see Tesla, you see her as an eyeball, which formed a very important, strong impression. If you look at his knife at the time, there's actually an eyeball on his knife as well. That image is very strong within him. So one thing about the inspiration is that, instead of a typhoon, it's actually more eye-shaped. That's not a clear image, but more of a subconscious image from within him.

And so, for the entire layout of that entire scene, there's the city of humans called Jeneora Rock, and the eye of Tesla is looking down the Rock.

You mentioned about designing Knives, that one of the design criteria is the contrast. The original design of Knives wasn't as contrasting to Vash. And, the new Knives design feels more organic, compared to the mechanical, man-made feel of Vash's design. Can you elaborate more on how you redesigned Knives?

M: One of the things about the costume that I wanted to do, was that I did not want Knives to wear anything made by humans as much as possible. So actually, his robe is made out of knives, and his inner body suit is from the space era. In contrast, Vash, everything he wears was made by humans.

Also, for the technological contrast in the world, there's lost technology, and there's scrap parts. So things that are made out of scrap parts have certain colors used to it, and things made out of lost technology have a different tone and color to it. The tone and color adds to the contrast as well.

I think the original Vash had scrap parts rather than lost technology.

M: The reason that Vash's arm is lost technology is that Vash's entire fashion is actually designed based on one concept: That of his relationship with humans. And, his relationship with humans is very strong with people originally from Seeds. People like Rem. There are two groups of people. One group is those that are closely related to Seeds. His fashion is basically based on that. And that's what led to the change. All the designs of the fashion that they wore, it's not just a stylistic choice. It's a visualization of their identity.

So is it a contrast between not just two, but three factions, like the Seeds humans, the scrap humans and the plants?

M: Yes, those are the three elements. I think Vash has strong ties with all of them, but the strongest is with Rem, and whatever Rem is a part of, which was Seeds.

I have a question for Watanabe-san. You're very active on Twitter. You're engaging with fans and sharing the story of Trigun. How careful do you have to be to not accidentally spoil anything and especially with the final phase coming up?

W: For Trigun, we did work closely and carefully with how the information is revealed. We can't control everything because we're just the production studio (Anime is a global distribution involving many languages). And there's distribution, and different partners. And this means that we couldn't talk with everyone at the same time. We talk domestically, with domestic partners, and through them, to the international distributors.

We try to make sure that we use specific languages. So for example, July/JuLai, how July/JuLai was revealed in Japanese was that it's always phonetically described in Katakana as well. We'd never really revealed the kanji, the Chinese letters, of July/JuLai until later, but we knew that subtitles do not work like that. So that's why for subtitles, promotional written material, and the written letters shown in the series, we designed it so that people will see different types of July/JuLai at first, and they might not associate it as other people with keener senses might, but in the end, everything comes to people who notice that.

The reason that I actually do a lot of Twitter is that it's more appealing to communicate. I think it's a communication to the fans. And anime is definitely a global market. And as an anime studio in Japan, we have a heavy focus on the Japanese market. However, I myself am originally from California, that's where I grew up actually, and my career began from being a staff at an Anime Expo as a volunteer.

I feel that community is a very important part of the anime market. It's not just about the money, it is really about the passion. And it takes the passion of the fans and passion of the creators. They're different, but the energy is something that's really important to be reassuring.

About making mistakes, I actually make a lot of mistakes. (Laughs) Not the information I tweet about, but I actually do typos and actually tweet wrongfully-written tweets a lot. I delete them immediately. (Laughs)

I do want to ask about representing Studio Orange. I want to say, compared to some of the other production studios, it's more transparent. The panels you had in Anime Expo, here at Sakura-con, and I think at other American conventions. Why is it so important for Studio Orange to be so transparent to fans?

W: So this is something that happened when I joined Orange five years ago. Something I talked to Waki-san about was that I have a lot of inspirations on how anime can be enjoyed or how anime communities can be built be extended, but I couldn't act on them at the previous studios I'd been at. I was actually looking for somewhere I could be comfortable doing so. And Orange was that somewhere. He gave me the liberty to do these kinds of things.

And as we discuss daily about how we should spread Orange, how not just as a company, a brand, or even choosing projects, we really think it's important to communicate. I mean, for communication, in the company, I am the only English public speaker. There's a few other English speakers, but they're not public speakers. So, I can't really respond to everything, but I try to communicate at least. I look at a lot of people's responses and I can't reply to each of them, but as a sum, I try to respond to the people's reactions.

One of the things that is not really highlighted on your Orange Presents panels, but that I really enjoy, is the music direction of your TV shows. From the Land of the Lustrous, Beastars, and Trigun Stampede, the soundtrack and the use of the soundtrack at the correct point of the show is brilliant. Can you provide some insight into how the music direction is done?

K: When we are creating an animation at Studio Orange, we use a technique called film scoring. Although we don't use it completely, we use what we call half film scoring. That's where we have the music first, and then we adjust the imagery to match the music and the scene. Because we're doing it in that order, we find that we're actually able to produce better results. We found that more emotion is communicated by both the music and the imagery matching each other. And because we do it in that order, we really allow the people who are composing the music to have a lot of control over the emotions in the scene, so they're really motivated to produce amazing music for us. I think that's probably why we get complimented on the music in the works that we've done.

M: As Waki-san said, I feel that it's really important about establishing relationships with composers. I can only speak for the case of Trigun, of course, but for not just the composer, but for the audio team, the mixer, the sound effects team, I was actually responsible as a sound director to direct all those people as well. Basically the relationship and passion that everyone feels is very much reflected onto the quality. And I've spent time making sure that the groove is there.

In the manga, Knives actually plays the piano, just for a few frames, but that left a strong impression on me. So, I put a lot of thought on how that can be put into this anime. That became one of the things that I focused on.

I really care for the beats per minute, the rhythm, the tempo. Those are the things where we put a lot of thought into, and I got a lot of references for the music team. I've said it in a couple other interviews as well, but when I am writing the storyboard, there's already music playing in the background, and it's my job to figure out how to convey that music to the team.

I want to ask about the character concept art by Kouji Tajima. So director Muto was responsible for adapting that concept art into what we see in the anime. Going from the concept art, which is 2D, and then taking it into 3D, there's a little bit of stylistic changes with that. With Vash, he's a little bit bigger than what you see in Tajima's concept art. Much more muscular. And, as you said before, organically built out. Can you talk a little bit about the adaptation of concept art?

K: We think of the concept art as more of just the capturing of an idea as an image, as opposed to setting the actual imagery and laying out the official visuals for the show. Once that idea has been put into concept art and shared with the staff and the director, the director can decide how to interpret that idea and how to carry it forward into the rest of the production. Things that we are looking for in the character concept art would be things such as distinctive silhouettes. We want the silhouettes of each character to actually be distinct from each other so they're more recognizable. Making some characters more muscly and other people less muscly would affect how distinctive their silhouettes are. Also, we think about what extent do we want the expressions of the characters to be actually deforming the CG models that are used. That's something that we would discuss when we move on to the adaptation of concept art?

For concept art, the main purpose is to portray the attractiveness of an idea. And when you develop a design, that design has a different purpose. The purpose could be the storyline, where they come from, where they are going, what they represent. Even though it's within the same drawing, the purpose of each design and concept art is completely different. So that's why there will definitely be a difference.

M: The concept art, it's basically this ball of ideas. From there, we look at what ideas we can distill into, shaping the ideas into a more concrete form.

One of the goals for Trigun, I think you'd mentioned, was to expand the storytelling, the universe, and I think you have effectively succeeded for the first season. However, a lot of the story plotlines were just to the point, where you just briefly touch upon and then move on. I think that there's more than enough material to have a two-cour, or 24-episodes, instead of 12 episodes. Is there a reason why you chose this length?

W: For the first season.

Yeah. And for the second season, is it going to be the same length, or can we expect it to be longer?

W: So just to be clear, we've never used the term second season at this point. This doesn't mean anything. Just to get on record, we've only specifically used the term "Final Phase".

M: The amount of information that's contained in the original manga is massive. And, when you're creating a TV series, the format is first of all different so you can't take that same amount of information and drop it into the animation format. We'd love to, but as the format is completely different, it's not possible. One thing that, as a director, I was aiming for, is that I want people to enjoy this show, in as many ways as possible. So, first of all, as a simple action entertainment people can enjoy, but people also can have the joy of figuring out the world. By having things in there that people can connect the dots to, they will discover an entirely new view in the show, and also people discovering the theme of the show. So, those are different layers I tried to create so that as many people can enjoy. That's the goal that I set and tried to accomplish.

I have a question about visual storytelling. For example, when you see Knives, he's shrouded, and kind of like a hidden figure, more, you know, in terms of the visual storytelling, versus Vash, who is very open, very bright. The humans as well, they're all very brightly colored compared to the plants that are more muted. Can you talk to us a little bit about your metaphoric or visual storytelling style?

M: There's the starting point, the manga, which has concept colors. So, from the starting point, what I want to do is to make sure that we treat those fairly. Coloring-wise, even though we're using that base color of the manga as a foundation, I really put thought into the identity associated with the color as well. So, in this case, you could see that Vash has red and green, very vibrant colors, and those colors are tied very tightly with his identity. In the case of Knives, that is the blue-ish color, which is associated with the plants.

Those colors symbolize a lot of their identity as well. And for example, humans have actually resembled Western, or more to be specific, the space frontiers. So, they're migrants. I'm saying that, but that's the base, and in July, there are more Asian things. So based on that, from the start, the base color theme was already set.

In the case of Nicholas D. Wolfwood, his identity is actually shifting throughout the series, within Stampede. He's fluctuating between Nicholas the Punisher and Nicholas D. Wolfwood. In the manga, he is already established as Nicholas D. Wolfwood, but in Stampede, he is still seeking the answer for his own identity. That fluctuation is actually portrayed within the color of his shirt.

If we're going into specifics, there's going to be so much to talk about. So, I would like to end it there. (Laughs)

We know that there’s going to be like a final season of Beastars, that's going to be a final phase for Trigun. Are we going to see a second season for Land of the Lustrous? Or, do you have any future developments you can share with us?

K: To speak to that, we've shared that we have been developing Trigun Stampede and working on that since about five and a half years ago. We've been working on it that whole time, all five and a half years, but for many of those years we couldn't say anything about it, as it was confidential for a lot of that time that we were working on it. That carries over to the other projects that the studio is working on now.

Of course, we are working on many projects, but we can't say much about them. What we can say here is what we have already shared in the panels at this con. We learned a lot, and developed new tools, while working on Land of the Lustrous, Beastars and Trigun Stampede. As a studio, we want to continually challenge ourselves to achieve better results in certain areas that are difficult for CG to achieve great results. And so once we find a good approach for these difficult areas, we use it going forward and all the works that our studio works on later. So you can expect that we will be using everything that we have learned on those works in our next work going forward as well as looking at new aspects of CG that we want to really pin down and achieve greater results with.

#trigun #trigun stampede

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starrycrystals · 11 months ago

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Here are some personal takeaways and analysis after watching episodes 1 & 2 of Disney's Percy Jackson series. I've made a previous post discussing the series here.

------SPOILERS for EPISODES 1&2 of Disney's PERCY JACKSON--------

First of all, the acting was bad and seemed restrictive and expressionless BUT that's probably because the director decided to take this approach (which I hate)

Actors I've liked so far are: Grover's, Clarisse's, Annabeth's (although we've hardly seen her so far) and of course Jason Mantzoukas. That's right not Walker, which is just disappointing. I've seen him in other projects and he does an alright job, this just confirms my suspicion that the actors are not bad they just have to work with a bad script and direction. Even Mantzoukas' acting seemed restrained at some points, truly a shame.

The pacing is bad and the editing between scenes seems a little choppy.

Some camera angles are so wide and static that they took me out of the story even in emotional scenes.

All of these choices (and some involving the writing which I'm gonna get to in a second) I feel like didn't allow me to connect with most of the characters and especially the show's protagonist Percy, which is a blaring sign that sth went wrong along the process of making this series.

Percy:

He's such a lovable character that he's had multiple book series written with him in the leading role. Even though he often fills the role of the "chosen one", he exhibits traits of cleverness and battlefield knowledge both of which are intuitive to him but also grow as the books progress.

However, in the show it feels like EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. he gets a chance to prove this it gets swept away from him and makes him seem like the overplayed Mary Sue character where everything is happening around him, every piece of information is handed TO HIM instead of him figuring it out.

Even the fight with the Minotaur (which could be used to show his inate fighting instincts and bravery) felt a little off to me when I realized that the horn is removed simply because of.. idek some kind of godly strength?? It seems very Superman-esque and you just threw away the chance to show his ability with a sword even with no prior training.

And this keeps happening, people keep handing him information and giving him chances to escape camp even (!) when he very well could have tried to gather information or leave camp himself. Even the quest is handed to him, all vital information included™ by Chiron of all people (Side note: if the Oracle doesn't play a major role in the series I might just quit the show all together)

Sally Jackson & Gabe:

I feel like they shifted the characters and their dynamic a bit. Gabe doesn't seem as abusive as in the books and Sally seems to be able to stand up to him with literally no consequence from him, he just caves and lets them go. This might have something to do with the series being Disney-fied but I'm curious how this will play out and reflect as the audience witnesses Gabe's ultimate fate. Overall it seems like a pointless change that might reflect more poorly on Sally as a character.

Grover:

Grover's portrayal is actually one of the enjoyable parts of the show for me but it gets ruined when I think of some scenes they gave him. First his "betrayal" of Percy is just sad to watch when you're used to seeing them as a BFF always-by-your-side duo, especially when it happens in the very first episode of the series that introduces these characters. So far we haven't seen any consequence for this betrayal either.

This seems to be a pattern so far for the series, characters do things and in return get no consequences even if they're "bad" decisions. Another example is when Grover interrupts Dionysus' and Chiron's meeting with Percy and immediately disobeys Dionysus orders by presenting Percy with even more information regarding his mother. To my shock and displeasure this AGAIN has had no consequences brought on Grover. Interrupting two very important people, one of which a god and disobeying their orders in the same breath should have SOME consequence, no? Dionysus even gives Grover a look of genuine disappointment and pity but literally nothing else happens.

---------------------

Now, I haven't watched episode 3 and the rest of the series hasn't aired as of yet. Therefore some of these things might change or develop.

Overall the series so far has left me disappointed and ultimately baffled at the lack of entertaining value it provided me. I felt like I sat down to watch some pretty scenery and graphics for almost two hours with no emotions involved whatsoever. It just wasn't ψυχαγωγικό for me.

#percy jackson #pjo #pjo disney+#anti percy jackson #last tag used cause there's some complaints thrown in there

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slayerkitty · 11 months ago

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2023 in Review: Meta Edition

So I got tagged to do a moth-by-month meta review by a few people - @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, and @ranchthoughts. I wasn't sure I had enough meta or posts, but then I remembered Only Friends...

So I figured, why not?

January/February

No meta from me yet - was still lurking/starting to poke my head out and interact a little.

March

My Favorite/Most Popular: Dome is Jesus! So I've long said that my first BL meta was for La Pluie, and that's true. However, my first meta since I started watching Thai dramas was for Midnight Museum (which is, technically, not a BL). Thus we have my Dome is Jesus meta. And I don't think I was wrong? But he was also way more than that, lol.

April

My Favorite/Most Popular: Dome is one of the four Horseman of the Apocalypse. Midnight Museum season 2 WHEN?

May

No meta this month.

June

My Favorite/Most Popular: Dream loves Nara. HAHA, my first La Pluie/BL meta and it's about the GL side couple. Dream wore that red 'N' right over her heart on that sweater and since I've been to the @respectthepetty school of color, I noticed it right away. AND I WAS RIGHT.

July

My Favorite/Most Popular: Turtle Tai. My La Pluie meta where I over identify with Tai for several paragraphs. I have no idea if it helped others who were struggling with Tai get a better understanding of where he was coming from emotionally, but writing it was cathartic and I'm so glad @lurkingshan poked at me and said I should write it.

August

Most Popular: Let's Talk About Trust, Baby. One of my first Only Friends metas from early on, when the show was absolutely eating my brain. I had a lot of fun breaking down the trust dynamics of the characters.

My Favorite: Baby, Let's Try. My breakdown of the Let's Try OST MV (and Only Friends BTS videos) analyzing the different framing devices and effects used and what it might be saying regarding our larger group discussions on ephemerality in regard to the show. When I watched this MV and realized what was happening, I had to drop everything and write out meta and that was so much fun.

September

Most Popular: Narrative Frameworks in Only Friends (post episode 4). I ended up doing this weekly and it was so fascinating... until the frameworks went away. Why, P'Jojo?

My Favorite: Working with @jenyifer to figure out the story of the Only Friends end cards for each episode. It finally put the mystery of those moments to rest and figuring out where they originated or where they fight in the chronology of the show really added some depth to certain moments.

October

My Favorite/Most Popular: With the dramatics and exhausting reveals of the Red Peafowl casting announcements, I loved my reaction: Let's Just Stan the Fucking Bird. @blmpff mentioned fan club memberships and the Featherheads were born.

November

My Favorite/Most Popular: (Stages of) Grief in Last Twilight. I wanted to explore where Day and Mhok were with the grieving process. My only Last Twilight meta (so far?).

December

My Favorite/Most Popular: Narrative Choices in For Him the series.

Honorable Mention: my most noted post of the year, lmao, but not a meta - my second Pit Babe is trending post.

Look at me, I got all wordy from July through November, LOL. Here's hoping for more meta and more brain rotting BLs in 2024.

Not tagging anyone, but if you see this and you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!!

#thai bl #bl meta #bl shenanigans #best of bl 2023

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morningstargirl666 · 10 months ago

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I just finished reading through The Big Bad Wolf and have loved it. I can’t wait for more!! Any updates or news?

Hi! So happy to hear you loved it! ❤️✨

I'm currently in the process of editing/rewriting TBBW right now! I've also outlined chapter 36 and started writing some of the dialogue, but I'm hesitant to start writing it in its entirety because I feel like I'm going to end up changing a lot of TBBW and want it all up to date before I fully commit my attention to the next chapter. I'm not changing anything plot-line wise, but I am making tweaks to the lore, character development, etc. It's still the same story, but now that the first 35 chapters are written, I find I'm going back and adding bits that you'd normally see in 'filler' episodes. Anything and everything that develops characters, relationships or lore - or even just there simply because I find it fun and enjoyable. I keep reminding myself that writing these first 35 chapters was me stuffing sand into buckets and now, with time to edit, I can finally make the sandcastles: carve turrets and staircases, mount flags and add seashells, adding every scrap of detail that will ultimately make this story come alive.

For example, chapter 5 on its own, has 6.5K of entirely NEW unseen content added to it so far (it's not posted yet, nor are any other edits for TBBW, so don't get too excited). And that's not counting the scene between Sam and Kiera on the phone, which has been re-written completely for the most part. There is also at least one more new scene I still want to write. If the chapter gets too long, it might mean splitting it in two and re-organising the chapters again, like I did for chapter 11 and 12 a while ago when I edited them.

Chapter 5, I hope, is an outlier and most chapters won't have as much done to them. Chapter 1 is edited and finished, yet its mostly the same except for grammar corrections. Though Chapter 2 has a deeper insight into Klaus' mindset - particularly his pure dislike for doppelgangers - purely because it's fun for me, as well as highlighting the development of his character between The Little Wolf and the start of TBBW. There's also going to be an extra canon forwood scene at the end of that chapter, as I want to develop them more, in preparation for when I destroy the relationship in the future chapters after 35. But who nows - all the chapters centered around the Mikaelson Ball I'm eyeing hungrily, my mind whizzing with a few ideas on how I might expand on them a little bit. I also want to focus more on the hybrids, which until now I've kinda ignored.

I know it may be a little disappointing, to hear the next chapter update is a long way off yet. But I don't want to rush this. I want to savour it, every single second. And who knows, by the time you get chapter 36, you won't just be getting a 20k chapter - you'll be getting a 50k bonus update of brand new content as well, sprinkled throughout the first 35 chapters. The word count is going to be over 400k by the time I update the next chapter, probably closer to 450k, I'm almost sure of it.

I can't promise when the next chapter will arrive, but I can promise this:

It will be worth the wait.

#tbbw #the big bad wolf #klaroline #klaus x caroline #klaroline fanfiction #fanfiction #morningstar writes #caroline forbes #klaus mikaelson #chapter 36 #anon ask #ask and you shall receive #i am aware this story is hella long #i don't care #i really don't #there's not rush to this story no race #i'll get to the klaroline when i get there #and it will be epic #in the meanwhile we have family fluff and angst for your delight #world building and lore #enemies to lovers #when i said I'm rewriting canon i meant it #this is what it would have been if klaroline were the main stars of the show #this is what it would be if the writers weren't cowards #every issue you have ever had with that show #i no doubt share them #and i am making it RIGHT #you can pry this fic from my cold dead hands but I am fixing the wrongs canon wrought #and I am doing it while having the time of my life #can't ask for more

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avelera · 2 years ago

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First off, may I begin with screaming loudly about the new chapter of GS because my god, it was lovely! Will leave a comment on ao3 later once I’ve found some words beyond mere key bashing

Second, if at all possible and not inconvenient, could you perhaps share some tips about your process and staying motivated while writing? Especially for such a long fic? Sincerely, a fic writer who can’t manage to get anything finished, let alone posted

Aah, thank you so much!

*Cracks knuckles* OK, to answer your question!

Build endurance. Writing long fic is a marathon in a very REAL sense. Runners who sprint and runners who run marathons are totally different (if perhaps complimentary) skillsets. Writing a really dense, well crafted short story is a unique skill. It is NOT the same thing, in my opinion, as being able to write a long-form novel. (That's why, IMO, a lot of people who get their start in short stories because of the way creative writing education & publishing work in the mainstream these days often struggle to jump to novels and their first novel (*cough* American Gods *cough*) are often densely beautiful but weirdly episodic and not always well connected internally.) Sorry, random soap box moment. TL;DR: Short vs. long fic writing are different skills. Be patient with yourself. Build endurance the same way a marathoner does: with practice.

Do not post before the fic is finished. This is a tip that is largely unique to me and one I've broken recently BUT absolutely nothing motivates me to push through the hard parts at the middle of the story like the realization that if I don't, no one will ever read the story. It'll all be wasted effort (except insofar as I got to practice writing). This doesn't work for everyone, but it is worth a shot!

Do not talk about your fic before it's written. Storytelling is sometimes the same centers in the brain, at least for me, as story writing. IE, by telling someone what I'm going to write, I've drained the enjoyment from writing it. That juicy pleasure is already sucked dry, leaving only the husk of the actual work. Now, this doesn't mean you can't talk at all about your work but one tip is to only talk about parts you've already written. You can say you just wrote a cool passage about XYZ! But stop at the moment where you're about to say what happens next. Talking about your work is a reward for writers who have already written. Set a rule that you don't get to talk about what isn't there yet. You don't get to have the dessert before you've done the actual work.

Bring in a small group of trusted alpha readers. An alpha reader is not a beta reader. Their job is to cheerlead, not to edit. I only bring in alpha readers for very long works (like, over 50k) where true endurance is needed. This is not sharing a rough draft with the world! This is not avoiding the rigors of having a beta reader, thou shalt still use a beta reader when the chapter is ready (if possible) and before it is released to a wider audience! (Because beta readers are about respecting the time of your audience and putting in as much effort for them as you expect them to put in for you at minimum, ie, reading over your own work and asking for a friendly second pair of eyes for anything you missed). Point is, when a long fic is shaping up to be a huge slog, it can indeed be hard to keep the momentum going. Inviting an alpha reader is asking, politely, for someone to give you a small taste of the rewards of sharing your story so you don't give in before it's done. However, it needs to remain a small circle so you don't give in to the temptation of never finishing or publishing the polished work. This is micro-dosing feedback to keep you going, not a replacement for doing the work!

Ok, I think that covers it!

#maggie rambles #writing advice #fanfiction #longfic

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13leaguestories · 2 years ago

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February 2023 Forecast

I am writing this with my back and neck in horrible pain. Worse way to start your morning is to get up, stretch, and then pull something. I feel bed ridden.

"T, are you done with your break?" No idea. Define break. My brain is slowly coming back to me so good news is I'm not quitting lmfao. My brain almost had me in the first half ... and most of the second. When I do return though, I'm implementing a new writing process called "write what I want to fucking write when I want to fucking write it."

"T, did you need to add all those expletives?" No. But you know how a lot of folks be like 'as I get older I'm going to curse less?' I'm the opposite. I curse more. It makes me feel all tingly inside.

Alright, welcome to the second best month, purely because it's my birthday month, that's literally it. You know I share this month with both my brother and my father, plus my parents and my brother's anniversaries. Like, the shortest month is basically the busiest for my family in terms of celebrations. Why did they do this? I don't know, no one uses sense in this family besides me.

MOVING ON! Bout to enter into a All My Woes episode.

Superstition S3

Still on break. Do not ask me when it's coming back. Because I'm going to do what I should've done (and what you guys thought I do already) and actually write a good bit of it. I'll probably put up a poll asking if you guys want to keep the bi-weekly schedule or if I just update it as the episodes are complete.

Throne of Ashes

Working on updating the demo with Makaio's finished demo and some bug fixes for the other routes. Nour is next and Ozara will be following them on that upload schedule.

Insight

Because unlike its cousin, For the Crown, Insight is not 100% dead, it's more like on life support. But I'll be updating it with the new UI that I have to bring it in line with the others. Also an additional chapter will be added so now the demo will end at Ch5.

Future T here. I've already updated it with the new UI and the first bug fix. A bigger one is coming so still, if you find any bugs, hold off on sending them in. Bug reports make me depressed and you guys don't want to see that, right? RIGHT?!

Horizon: Sea of Stars

Per my "do what ya want" lifestyle, yes, Tierra has done it again. She has said fuck it to common sense and those two friends out of ten that said don't do it, and she went and made a new project. I blame eight friends who inspire me in the most negative ways because I never blame myself. Never blame yourselves, you're never toxic, it's those around you. (That's a lie, do not quote me. My god.)

This is a scif-fi project (because I needed to have the holy trinity of the best genres out there to make myself feel complete (jokes on me I still feel empty)). The MC is like Phoenix MC in some ways where this is not exactly 100% self-insert friendly, there are a few traits included and mindsets that you as the reader can't change. 6 romances, 2 males, 2 females, and 2 nonbinary. 5 of the 6 are aliens. And art is on it's way with two of the characters already done. I have art of the alien species as well because I know how difficult it can be to picture an alien based off of descriptions alone. They will be included in story to further help.

This is me just telling you guys, I'll post all of the info of the book itself with the demo like I normally do. Especially when I figure out where I want the demo to stop at. It's still pretty much in alpha mode with only one chapter done and even that is still seeing edits.

Also if any of you have got this far and know an artist or you are someone who can do really nice colorful covers and are good with backgrounds then tell me because I'm still searching for a cover artist.

. . .

There is also now a Light Mode on some stories. If it's not there then it's being worked on. Don't look at Superstition, it's not there.

Alright, I think that's it. I'm going to go lie down and scream at the heavens about my neck.

Future T again. My neck is better but if I look over my shoulder it's like "naw girl, stop that."

#monthly forecast

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kamenriderliveblog · 11 months ago

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Guess what's ready for digital order! It's @ultra-zine!!!

Okay look I know that my very first post said that I wasn't a figure person. That has obviously changed and I have officially fallen into the SH Figuarts rabbit hole. I preordered Blazar plus I want to get Zero and all of Z's forms. Send help, lmao

Full disclosure: I did contribute something to this zine, which is one reason why I haven't done many liveblogs lately. (I'm still a little emotional about seeing something I've written in print.) I wrote Chill Out, It's Snow Problem, though that was before I saw the dub for Z. Watching that notably changed how I write Z's verbal tics.

I had a hard time with this story because my first draft was like 4500 words. I had to cut out a lot and that was a painful experience! Granted, for me editing is always a painful process, but I'm of the opinion that if it doesn't hurt in one way or another, I'm not editing enough. I'll probably toss up the longer version on AO3 eventually though. It actually really, really hurt to cut as much as I did and I want those parts to see the light of day in one way or another.

There were some scenes that I wanted to write but didn't even make it into the first draft. There was originally going to be a scene with Z taking control of Haruki's body with his permission and skating at an ice rink because my headcanon is that Z would be really good at it. Yes, that scene from episode 7 has been living rent-free in my head for way too long. I also thought Z skating in Haruki's body would be a fun scene for the artist (in this case the amazing @chacerider, though I didn't know that at the time) to use for the illustration if they wanted. Beliarok was going to appear too, but I couldn't think of a way to get him in there in a way that I was happy with.

Originally the story started in Haruki's apartment before going to STORAGE, which actually did make it into the first draft. I had to choose between scrapping that whole intro or paring down the emotional beats that came later. The choice was obvious. Oh yeah and I had Haruki nearly get hit by a truck in the first draft. Fun! Still had to cut it, though.

Haruki and Z being able to tell how the other is feeling or emotions bleeding from one to the other isn't exactly something that happens in canon, I know. It's pretty much me taking the idea of Haruki's emotional state having a big effect on Z in episode 12 and then dialing it up to 11. I like the idea of there being side effects (for lack of a better word) to merging, and I wanted to explore how the friendship between Z and Haruki might develop if there was a lot more unintentional emotional openness. I'll also fully admit that I stole some things from Geed. Leito and Zero's conversations when they're out and around regular people was the big one, and while Z does take control of Haruki's body in episode 7 for a second, I was really more thinking of Geed's early episodes and how Zero would take control of Leito's body basically whenever he felt he needed to.

If you made it to the end, thanks! The link to read my story on AO3 is below. If you didn't manage to grab a physical edition of the zine, you can get a digital version of it and the previous volumes here!

#not a liveblog #ultraman z #ultra zine

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bonesandthebees · 8 months ago

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I care about Rose! In fact, we started watching house of dragon (only 2 episode so far though) and it constantly makes me think of Rose because you use it as inspiration. Like obviously there’s the coronation scene which reminds me of stars. And there’s the character Willum is sorta kinda inspired by. And it’s an entirely different world, but every time I’m drawn back to Rose wondering how things will play out. (Which is not pressure to finish writing it if you don’t want to. Writer’s block can be a bitch and I get that the motivation for this project has been sucked out, but I just want you to know that I still care, and I’m not the only one.)

Also, I’ve been meaning to start my Ready, Set, Detonate analysis but I keeps getting away from me. I’m not sure there will be much to analyse, but there’s definitely fun details I want to point out. Oh and I am Looking 👀 at the fit/pac tag and kicking my feet. I don’t actually know if they are already in a relationship (I’m sure we’ll find out, but I just loved Fit’s little “Pac’s here?” That man is gone. Oh and I’m so excited for this Tubbo and to read more Bagi and the lore. Just all of it.

Then the original writing is a mood. I keep getting like a few chapters into my story before deciding it’s not good enough or thinking of something else I could do and throwing it all out. It’s this constant loop that never seems to get anywhere even though the story gets more and more fleshed out in my head every time. I think it’s because the opportunities are endless. Like there’s no characters and personalities and dynamics to stick to like there is in fan fiction. It’s free game but that does mean you have to decide everything yourself.

Anyway, best original writing advice I can give is remember the drafting process. There’s going to be a shit ton of drafts, which feels different for you because you’ve been mostly writing stories and posting them as you go, which means some minor or major editing, but leaves you without a chance to do a once over. It’s a sort of pressure to get everything right the first time. Meanwhile, original writing is something you keep close to your chest. There’s different drafting stages ranging from the zero draft (aka excessive daydreaming about all the possibilities) to the final draft (where you just go through and kill all your darlings and pour over ever single word to find the right one).

I’m struggling a lot with the first draft, which is literally just getting words onto a page. It’s a somewhat coherent mess that just allows you to shape the story and its structure so you can work off of that and edit it later on. I don’t know if this actually helps, but yeah, the first draft sucks and then it mostly gets easier. Just write, is kinda shitty advice, but it’s mainly, just get words onto a page, you will get a million chances to fix it, you don’t need to be happy about what you wrote right now.

-🌲

ohhhh I'm so excited you've started watching hotd!! good timing since the second season is going to come out later this year :D I hope you enjoy!! and I'm so happy to hear you're still excited about rose. I definitely want to finish writing it, like I said it's just me worrying about if anyone will bother to read it but a lot of you have said you would so that helps assuage my worries a bit

feel free to send whatever random thoughts you have about ready set detonate you know idc if it's analysis or not I just love seeing peoples reactions!! fit and pac are not in a relationship (yet) in the fic but theres a lot of flirty pining going on lol

god yeah it's so much harder with original fiction because it feels like there's so much pressure. you have too much freedom to do whatever you want so you're constantly second guessing if it's good enough or not. and ofc I know rough drafts are supposed to be shitty but I've tried to hone my skills so that my first draft is always incredibly solid because I rarely have the patience to do heavy edits, but that's with fanfiction. it has to be different with original fiction I know but it's hard to make my brain okay with that. I keep feeling like it needs to be nearly perfect on the first run :( but yeah I'm mostly trying to get words on a page. but then I think back and realize I forgot to mention this or I need to mention more of that etc etc and it's just stressful arghhh

#ask #spruce anon

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melodytaylorauthor · 3 months ago

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On today's episode of Mel writes books:

I am in the process of re-editing my first novel. I wrote it when I was 18 years old, and I've learned a bunch since then. (I should hope. Eesh.)

It's coming along nicely, thank you. The bones of a good story were in there, I just didn't yet know how to dig them out. Now I do.

As part of a new edit, I'm also getting a new book cover with a new author photo and a new description (often erroneously called a blurb).

Descriptions are HARD. It took me a few years, but I think I finally have a handle on the damn things. Here it is:

"Ian is a young woman with an unusual name – and a brand-new pair of fangs.

After life as a struggling artist, becoming a vampire is the most fun Ian’s ever had. Alongside her vampire mentor, she’s been playing the debutante artiste all night and sleeping all day. Until the night her mentor is brutally murdered.

Now Ian is next on the killer’s list. With no mentor and no idea how to catch a murderer, Ian fears she’ll be dead before sunrise. When an old and dangerous vampire who calls himself Sebastian Cain offers his help, Ian knows that despite his frightening demeanor, she has to accept.

But Sebastian is hiding secrets. With justice for her mentor and her own survival hanging in the balance, Ian must unravel Sebastian’s dark past and true intentions, gain control of her new vampiric powers, and uncover why a killer wants her dead – before she finds a dagger through her heart."

Allow me to dissect for you, if you like.

A story needs to consist of an everyday world, an inciting incident, characters' goals, complications, crisis, climax, resolution. A description is similar, but you don't want to include the final climax or resolution, and it's not identical.

A description needs a splashy hook. This should be one sentence, not too long. Then three paragraphs. First paragraph: a sum up of the everyday world, characters' goals, and the inciting incident. Keep that as tight as you can. Three to four sentences is ideal. Second paragraph: a summary of the complications. Stick to the main two or three complications, don't get lost in the weeds. Three to four sentences again is ideal. Third and final paragraph: a sum up of the crisis but not the climax or the resolution. The crisis is literally just the decision a character is forced to make in the course of the story and what will happen if they choose poorly; the climax is what they choose, the resolution is how that plays out. Keep that last paragraph short, too. Three sentences or so.

Tips from authors I admire: Don't ask your reader, "What would you do if -- ?" That's not what the story is about. Also, if the reader doesn't care or wouldn't do anything or wouldn't do what your character does, you've lost them right there. Don't ask questions like, "Can Ian unravel Sebastian's dark past and figure out why the killer wants her dead?" If she didn't the story would have an unsatisfying ending. Of course she will. Duh. Get more into the flavor of how that will go than if it will. Our newbie vamp who is described as a debutante artiste is going to unravel the dark past of someone much older and scarier than her, and figure out why her mentor's killer did it and wants her dead next? How the fuck will she do that? Well, read the book and find out!

Start with an elevator pitch. Figure out how to sum up the main character and the main conflict in about three sentences. This is what you will say to people who ask what your book is about. The more you ramble, the more you lose people, so keep it tight. Main character, main conflict. Build your description from there. When people ask what my book is about, I say, "It's about a young woman who's only been a vampire for a few years. She's having a great time when the man who turned her is horribly murdered. So now she has to not only figure out how to not get killed herself, but also why anyone would do this to her mentor and just how to survive as a brand-new vampire."

A breakdown of my description:

First, a splashy hook. This can be something about the theme, a statement about the major conflict, or a statement about the main character. Whatever seems interesting and gives a feel for something important going on in the story.

"Ian is a young woman with an unusual name – and a brand-new pair of fangs.

Every time I would workshop this description, if I left out that Ian was a woman, the biggest comment that I got was "Ian = female?!?" This was way too confusing for people, even people who should have been cool with fluid gender. When I opened the description with Ian being a woman, no one was confused about her gender, but everyone said it wasn't a great opener. Listen, people, I'm painted into a corner here. It's not a great opener, but you're not leaving me much choice. Ian is a very new vampire, and a lot of the complications in the story stem from her being so young and not having a handle on the world she now inhabits. So I added the "brand-new pair of fangs" as a tone-setter. Is it as grabby as it could be? No. Is it kind of what I had to work with? Kind of. It's doing its job well enough. My readers have responded well to it, so I'm content. Readers and writers look for very different things in a story. Remembering that is important to learning how to take critique.

Now we reach our first paragraph: everyday world and inciting incident. Our character was doing X thing UNTIL . . .

"After life as a struggling artist, becoming a vampire is the most fun Ian’s ever had. Alongside her vampire mentor, she’s been playing the debutante artiste all night and sleeping all day. Until the night her mentor is brutally murdered."

This paragraph has to do so much work. It has to give the reader a feel for the character, give the reader an idea what the character wants, and then say what happens to screw that all up. You have to take your walking, talking, breathing character that you've spent maybe YEARS detailing and getting to know and turning into a REAL PERSON, and distill them down to a couple of sentences. Who are they, what do they do/want? KEEP IT SHORT.

Ian is an artist. She's always wanted to pursue that muse, but it's hard out here for creatives. She bumped into a vampire (without knowing it) at a poetry reading and made friends with him, and he decided he liked her and changed her, so now she gets to play all night, painting and partying and having a good time, and it's been great for her so far. The man who turned her is a decent guy who's a real friend and believes in her. Yay, she gets to follow her muse. What she doesn't know is that he has a dark past that's been looking for him, a jilted lover with murder in his heart and the resources to track this guy down and make him suffer. Ian's mentor doesn't know his ex is about to catch up to him either, until the night he gets his heart ripped out of his chest. Ian is funny, intelligent, loves cats, enjoys a little light drug use at parties, doesn't take the world or herself too seriously, has her own sad love life history, is the oldest of two girls and has somewhat exhaustingly normal parents, etc. NONE OF THAT MATTERS. Not to a potential reader, not yet. Hopefully they will come to love Ian, but first, they have to have an idea who she is and if they want to know her any better. Three sentences: who she is, what she does/wants, what happens to fuck that all up.

On to the second paragraph: complications. Okay, so the big thing has gone wrong; then what happened that made fixing it or getting back to normal life even harder? Because if something went wrong, and then got fixed, boooooring. The character has to struggle to fix their shit, or the reader won't care.

"Now Ian is next on the killer’s list. With no mentor and no idea how to catch a murderer, Ian fears she’ll be dead before sunrise. When an old and dangerous vampire who calls himself Sebastian Cain offers his help, Ian knows that despite his frightening demeanor, she has to accept."

Another paragraph that has to do a lot of work. Sebastian is another fully-formed, interesting character who has a redemption arc through the story. There's also Ian's relationship to her mentor to explore, her human and vampire relations start crawling out of the woodwork to get in the way, she falls in love, Sebastian gets lusty for the first time in five hundred years, the two of them argue a bunch, there are secrets to uncover. Again, none of this matters in the description. The primary complications are that Ian will be killed next, her youth and inexperience make her vulnerable, a scary old vamp has offered help, she can't really say no and expect to live.

I'm giving you a little insight into the characters and story to let you know how MUCH I had to trim out to make this description work. It really boils down to what the main story is about -- having a good elevator pitch helps with this process A LOT. For the description I branched out and added Sebastian in, because his arc is important to the story, but I never bring him up in my elevator pitch. Short and sweet. And notice how you don't even know her mentor's name? Yeah. Short and sweet.

And on to our third and final paragraph: sum up the crisis, but leave out the climax and resolution.

"But Sebastian is hiding secrets. With justice for her mentor and her own survival hanging in the balance, Ian must unravel Sebastian’s dark past and true intentions, gain control of her new vampiric powers, and uncover why a killer wants her dead – before she finds a dagger through her heart."

Ian has a LOT of various decisions to make throughout the story. The big ones have to do with Sebastian and his redemption arc, saving herself and seeking justice for her mentor, and figuring her newbie vampire shit out. There's SO MUCH MORE, but this is where the primary plot goes. This is the question my elevator pitch proposes. I added in Sebastian, because the description can be a tad longer, but the elevator pitch is where it all starts.

If you got to the end of this, thanks for reading, I hope it was insightful and helpful! I know it was long; a lot goes into this.

Good luck out there.

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